The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1899-07-30
CHAPTER 4.
Containing white Love and Black
Memory"

It was. at the very beginning Of the civil
war.
In those days a great many people hon.
estiy believed that all American babies were
born free and equal, but how the ridiculous
statement ever came TO be printed and then
accepted for gospel by intelligent citizens.
Is certainly more than I can understand.
In my own case, just as soon as / was old
enough 20 comprehend anything about my
surroundings or to watch my companions
At work or play / knew very well that
was neither free. equal nor similar.
But TO return to my story.
said II was during the late unpleasant
ness. and the day was a very sultry one.
toward the end or July. in the year 1851.
There was great excitement among the
crowds on the streets OF the city OF Boston.
especially in the neighborhood Of the bulle-
TN boards IL was very hard. almost i'm
possible to believe the dreadful rumOrs. but
nevertheless the word disaster" was being
passed around and many a brave face on
that day reflected only too eloquently the
staggering intelligence.
This, of course was just after the first
battle OF Bull Run. Down at one Of the
railroad stations on Causeway street anx-
ious, tremulous lines OF humanity coming
IN from the suburbs met others going out.
Over all there was feverish excitement and
a clamor for news.
Just about noon on this eventful day
a thunderstorm began to gather and very
soon broke over the city. 1t OF
those dry omInous storms. wheE the blind
ing fash. followed by the clap and the rat
tie OF heavens artillery. is liable TO bring
the bravest OF US TO halt and to make Us
long for the bountifuI rain to descend. to re-
lieve the tension on our nerves, and to re-
mind us that God Is merciful and will
not utterly confound US. on this particul-
lar occasion, at any rate.
When the storm was well under way,
but before the big drops had begun TO
patter on the pavements, the hurrying
pedestrians on the sidewalks were called
upon TO make way for a woman who was
being carried swiftly, but tenderly. across
the street and into the station.
The kind-hearted spectators understood.
or thought they did. The poor woman had
received news from the front; she was
Frustrated with grief and had tainted away.
Perhaps it was her husband, perhaps her
boy. Who could tell? But the incident
seemed to come right home to every one as
with deepest sympathy they made way for
the bearers, or turned aside to conceal their
emotion.
The general conclusion in regard to the
unfortunate woman was correct as far as
At went, but there was more to follow. They
carried her into the ladies' room, and there
q short time afterward / saw the light for
the first time and was ushered into the
world with very little ceremony. while the
electrical storm at its height and
frenzy Of warlike excitement penetrated the
city from one end to the other.
had been dead for some time, and, practi-
cally. was alone in the world. During these
years of childhood and youth 1 had been
the victim of malady. or, at least an ex-
perience unexampled. honestly believe. in
the history of the human race. Nay, more!
still suffered, and unless something mirac-
ulous interviewed, was doomed to suffer and
20 remain like feather in a gale Of wind
until the day of my death, and. for all
knew. in the next world and the next
From the day of my birth had been an
enigma and a source of infinite trouble and
anxiety TO my family and my friends.
seemed to be continually in the hands or in
the power OF some unseen, incomprehensible
force that baffied their best and kindliest eff
forts for my health. my education and my
prospects In life.
AT times 1 was just like any other child,
Bul again. NlluOul ISdoOIls
lost all pretense to be classed as a human
being. That Is to say. the conditions, sur
roundings and such like, which, under ordi-
nary circumstances, would naturally pro-
ducs happiness or misery. comfort or dis
comfort. laughter or tears, had such
effect upon me, for the simple reason that
was subject TO different set OF laws.
possessed all OF these feelings and sensa-
tions. but they were not aroused in the
usual way. In so many words, always had
been. and still remained. the helpless victim
and the plaything OF the atmosphere or the
weather.
This, OF course, was not discovered at
once, but dawned upon me gradually when
was grown up and was mentally capable
or making a study OF myself and my pecu-
liar constitution.
Not only was I governed during every
minute OF my existence by what you may
call atmospheric influence. but soon found
out to ny dismay that every shade and con-
dition of weather was represented and al
once reproduced in my system by CORE
spending delights. impulses or passions. In
fact, was a human barometer, and every
degree on the scale represented the different
stages and varying composition OF my men,
tai and physical condition, from an incon-
reivable pugnacity during thunderstorm
down 10 a state of delightful, all-emhracing
benevolence, such as / was conscious Of
when. on some quiet summer evening re-
clined at my ease on the seashore OF the
city and watched the glories of a "loudless
sunset or listened to the gentle ripple oil
the tiny pillows rising and falling, ebbing
end flowing on the sands at my feet.
Yet another curious fact remained
Dominating every sensation and idea OF
which / was capable was the fixed, un-
waveriDg conviction that somewhere
and to be discovered in some way, there
was a cure for my malady. and a key
that would unlock the distressing combina
ton and restore me 10 the level OF a natura
human being. Fortunately, / was in pos
session OF a snug little fortune. and 1 could
think OF no better way 10 spend part o.
At than by pursuing investigation 81
vitality important
In the spring OF the year ISL consulted
three OF the most noted physicians in th'
city OF Boston. DR.. Ward. DR.. Wendell anC
DR. Humphrey. / attended interviews. sub
mitted TO examinations and furnished sta
tIstics and all kinds of information in regar,