The Fulton County news. [volume] (McConnellsburg, Pa.) 1899-current, 1899-10-26
ThE REAL REASON.
Whltby Explains why He Is Such n
Picturesque Sloucb.

| Sulu WDlLDy 1flenu on tne traln tEi
other morning, you are about the
most picturesque slouch that com
mutes on this road. Now / would b,
so uneasy if l had the top button OF
my oFercoat as you have that it woul(
be impossible for me to contain my
self, and yet You simply fasten the
coat together with safety-pin, ant
seem perfectly contented."
"I try to be contented under al
circumstances and never to find fault,
replied Whitby, with q good-naturet
smile.
cit is fine way TO be constructed, 81
replied Whitby's friend, "but that is
not an excuse for slouchiness. Be.
cause a man is happy it is no reason
that he should go around with saw.
edge on his vest-binding sticking ou'
like the whiskers on a cat"
Your remarks are not without q
certain force" replied Whitby, with a
broader smile than ever, ''and they
put me in fine humor, and L am going
to tell you of few other Irregularities
that may please You more 10 hear oi
than to discover. Do you know that
at the present time my suspenders
are so badly out of kilter that 1 am
wearing as u substitute n zor-strop
that was formerly suspender?'
81 would never suspect it from
your gait"
Nevertheless, it is quite true, -
replied Whitby; ''and 1 have such big
sagging. holes in my shirt that often
wonder why it is that don't thrust
my head throu gh them when 1 dress
IN the n. IN.
"And still you are happy"
Perfectly" said Whitby, who con-
tinued:
81 have also button off my coat
tails, and perhaps it makes me look
lop sided, but it doesn't make any
difference to me so long as L know
that | am not lop.sided. II these
buttons coming off bothered me as
much as one would naturally suppose,
/ would get around the difficulty by
wearing n sack-coat.
Here Whitby's friend began to
roar.
whats the matter now?" asked
Whitby.
"Why, your thumb and foreGnger
are sticking through your glove"
"Of course they are; and that is
what enables me to fish the change
out OF my vest pocket when 1 am on
the fly, instead Of cropping round and
fumbling for it for five minutes. And
my vest pocket has such rip in it
that / have pulled the hole up to
point aud tied piece of cord around
it,"
"And then" said Whitby's friend,
"the bottoms OF your trousers are
fearfully frayed."
eff that annoyed me-" remarked
Whitby, 81 should certainly turn
them up, like true Londoner. But,
you see, / want harmony, and that is
why / like my trousers bottoms
frayed like my coat-binding. L may
be very slouchy, but am all right on
form. L never wear high hat with a
sack-coat or a coiored shirt in full
dress"
Il know you don't; but if you did,
you would not have wider reputation
than yoa have now. Some people
think it is u wild aifectation on your
part-that yon are copying the ways
of the wild poet, whose greatness is SO
great that he can't realize on his light
and airy creations. heard stranger
the other day speak of you as looking
like an inventor, and probably being
man starving while trying to raise
capita to put upon the market a gas.
stove that can be operated without
gas. And then you are not unlike a
musical composer in appearance. Per-
haps you are going around in this
way to make people believe you are
millionaire.
"No, that is not the reason I am
going around in this free-and easy,
unmended fashion," said Whitby
''It is not to make people believe that
1 am artistic, or wealthy, or in
different to and above the ordinary
conventionalities of life."
"Then there is reason?"
eff you must know, yes," replied
Whltby, laughing good-naturedly,
"and l know you are aching to know
it,"
"I am"
"And you won't tell any one if
inform you"
"Not to living SOUL" replied
Whitby's friend; sit shall be invio.
late"
''It is because my wife hasn't the
time to sew on my buttons and do my
mending."
"Why not?" asked Whitby's friend,
in astonishment
Because all her time is completely
taken up sewing for charity. ."-R. X.
Munkittrick, in Harper's Bazaar.