The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1899-12-11
GEORGES Pa
Learns How to Doctor the Baby.
Makes 4 Ness Of It.

Makes Mess Of It.
Chicago Tlmes.H Herald: The Baby Got
the coulck / Bet you it would be a
graft hit II Sum coolidge had it to Help
hoop for the foot BAN team. Mite be-
fore last paw dIden't hardly sleep a
Wink and you could notus 1t on Him
Easy the next morning by his talk.
Il Like to no." he says, How the
he'd Of Family Kin ern a Liven in
the Day time Il He Don't git no Rest
at mite. Here am payen fifteen dol
ers a Weak fer q nurse what Don't
seam to no emmy more about Baby
than me and Not Han as mulch Becoz
had two Before this one. It's a
blame swIndul. all this trained Nurse
bIzness they 60 into in the altty. Look
at our Muthers out in the country.
They didea't hiatt to have no Frills like
these when the Family was Glttln so
Big they Had to Bid naddishen onto
the house every year er so. But you
Got to Have a trained nurse now er
thay won't Let you In Society emmy
more than II you Done your own house
work and Diden't go round tellin Folks
It was Becoz you advertised ute times
fer Hired Curl and never got a nan
SER"
The nurse Told paw he wasen't At
to be fawtheF, and he was agoln 10
Talk Back. only Little albert throwed
Tooth Brush at the pupp and nOcked
a Hole thru one Of the Windows, 50
thay dropt the Subject.
After Breakfast ant Fanny come In,
and when she Herd about the BABY
beln sick che says:
"You must stop given 1t that kind Of
food rite away. When my little Flor
ence was horned she had the same kind
Of Trubble. so fed her condensed milk
and she cum thru all rite"
Purity soon Mrs. Rawson and Mrs.
Pond come in.
my good nuss," Mrs Rawson sed
when paw told Her about the Con-
densed milk; Don't give her That. 1t
would KIN the Poor little Thing. al
walls Bring my Babies up on stumley's
otes water. and Thny never Give me a
Bit Of trubble."
II wouldent Dnre to give no child Of
mine that kind OF stuff" Mrs. Pond
tole paw. you mite Us well fead 1t
Green cucumbers and Be Done with 1t.
They amt nothing like matted milk for
u Baby with the colllck. ans II this
nurse Had emmy ,sentz she would Of
knowed It at the start"
Thay was about a Half Dozen
other Ladies' come while paw was
Thinker about 1t to tell Him what OF
to Be done, and neeriy all Of them Sed
thay Had the Best dOckter on erth and
paw OF to change Before it was too
Late or we wouldent Have no luck with
the Child.
After thay all Got thru paw went to
the Basket where the Baby was Sleep
in as peaceful as a Lam, and looked
at II a Long time, and then He went
out in the Hail and got little albert's
drum an Begin to pound on 1t and
Jump up and Down and Sing Git your
munny's wurth
Purity soon After that the Dockter
come ana Him and the Nurse shocked
up Behind and the Furst thing paw
new the DocISter was HOldln his arms
fast to His Sides and tryIn to push Him
into a closet WHARF, thay wanted to
Lock him up.
] Here, confound IT," paw Hollcred,
what are you tryln to DOT"
BE Cam" the Dockter told Him.
1--WE are your Friends. We are Gcin to
purteckt you. IT'S all rite"
mo 1t anti paw HoIlered. you
may think It ID, Bat amt payln You
three dollars Visit to Come Here and
Try to play Horse with me-
BY that Time the Dockter seen paw
wasent Crazy SO he let go and asst what
no nent by maxim sutch a Racket
81 was tryin to Keep the Baby awake
IN the Day time so It would Give q
purHon a chanct TO Sloap a Little ut
Mite" paw told him,
"Then Take It all Back" the Dock
TOT sed. ~ thot the WtmmIR what are
alwals Common IN and Tcllen what
to Do with the Babies was the Worst
fools on lsrth, But thay Amt"
GEoRGII0.