La Junta tribune., 1899-04-01
Meddy and the Major.

Inc eN-So!uEteerS OF the santiago
campaign who compose the Anti-Ty
phoid club were holding their regular
weekly meeting. A member who ad-
mltted that he had taken a drink of
water had been promptly suspended for
one week. in spite OF his plea that he
had taken the fluid from a pint bottle
under the impression that it was gin.
A member OF the hospital corps read a
paper describing the deadly results of
waterdrinking on soldiers, and attrib-
uting his own good health during the
Cuban campaign to his discovery of
a quantity OF wood alcohol among the
medical stores, which he had used,
slightly diluted, as preferable to
straight water. At the conclusion of
the reading a member who had been
putting industriously on a corncob pipe
raped the fire and ashes out against
the edge OF the table. took pull at his
stein, and observed:
Il have been deeply interested in the
paper OF our learned medical comraie.
1t throws light upon an incident OF the
campaign that has been enveloped in
mystery. You may not all know that
our learned friend here, Meddy, put in
6 days, % hours and 80 minutes in the
guard house. That's the limit for which
an officer can lock up an enlisted man
without preferring formal charges. 1t
happened after the surrender and
while we were camped on the ridge
back Of Santiago. Meddy was doing
the early morning cooking for the
sick in the regimental hospital. and
also for the surgeons. He had to turn
out before break OF day and hustle
wood and water, build fire and cook
cruel for the sick and beefsteak for the
officers of the medical staff.
well. one morning just at day
break Maj. Bolus. the chief surgeon.
woke up to find disheveled, mad
looking private of the hospital corps.
with blood-reeking butcher knife in
his hand. bending over his cot and
gloating over him with bloodshot eyes.
The major recognized the private as a
man whom he had reprimanded Sc
verely and in unparliamentary Ian
guage the day before.
For moment the major was paral-
lyZeQ Will thSh Win a
howl for help. rolled out OF his cot on
the other side. Extricating himself
from his blankets, the major grabbed
his sword and backed against the side
wall of his tent The private contin-
ued to glare at him, his blood-streaked
eyes distending with some violent emo
ton. To this day the major could not
be convinced that the emotion was
surprise and not murderous rage.
"'wh-what do you want?' stammer-
ed the major. his sword and scabbsrd
rattling together like the tinware in a
peddler's pack.
"The private extended his blood
stained weapon rapier-fashion, and.
starting around the foot of the cot to-
ward the major. opened his mouth to
speak.
"'Halt. gasped the major, in turn
extending his weapon in very wobbly
fashion. 'H-halt! Wh-what do you
m-mean. sir?'
"The private glared wild-eyed at the
major some more. but 1t seemed odd
that desperado's knees should knock
together as his did. Again he started
to speak. and made gesture with the
butcher knife. but the major parried
the thrust and exclaimed:
"T1l c-call the g-guard. sir,
w-what do you w-want, sirr
"The private was trembling with
suppressed rage. but at this point he
lowered the point Of his butcher knife
and suffered:
"I w-wanted-hic-t' know, major.
wh-whether you wanted your steak
rare or-hic-well done?
Then the major ordered the private
under arrest, and. while he made no
formal charge. I am confident that he
believes to this day that murder was
intended. The private, boys. was our
friend Meddy here. and 1t. appears to
ne that his learned paper on the SUBJ