The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1899-08-09
JOKE MANUFACTURE.
AN ARTlF GER GIVES AWAY A FEW
SECRETS Or HIS CRAFT.

Writers Consider the Garb in Which
TO Dress Their Antiques Served Up
With Sauce Southern, Northern,
Eastern or Western.
Il have come to regard an idea as
purely a matter of merchandise" said a
local newspaper man, who augments
his salary by supplying pearls OF
thought to the Northern periodicals
when | invent Joke, for instance. l
Immediately consider the garb in
which 1t will bring the best price, and
you would be surprised at the extent
Of my literary costume shop. To Illus
trate the point, / had a small inspira-
ton this morning that l have not yet
decided how to use. The simplest form
would be a bit of dialogue to accom-
paDy a picture in one of the comic
weeklies, in which case it would run
about like this
"'Old Moneybags (severely)-I trust,
sir, that you haven't contracted any
new debts
"'Young Moneybags with engaging
frankness) oh! no sir; but have sue
ceeded in expanding a number Of old
ones
4 WOulu ldDSl lllS IOAlOy
Up to Date, and if accepted, | would
receive check for the munifcent sum
of ST."
But l have a good paper on my
staff" continued the Industrious young
man. that is fond of little anecdotes OF
the brand once popular in Harper's
Drawer and is essentially partial to
southern flavor. II | send my jokelet
there l shall dress it about as fol-
lows
Zone of the small tenants on the
plantation owned by Colonel l.. was
good natured, shiftless old negro, who
answered to the name of Nose Al
though Nose had an excellent piece of
land that was cultivated with fair sue
cess by his numerous progeny he was
always hopelessly entangled in debt,
and the Colonel took frequent occa-
sion to lecture him on his IMPROVE
dence. One day the old darby hobbled
past the manor house. sunk, appar
emily, in the deepest detection. Hell
10. Nose, called me Colonel from the
porch. What are you looking so glum
about" Use nightly stressed in
mind, Kurnel,' replied the tenant,
mournfully. We'll, | suppose you've
been contracting a lot of new debts"
said the planter. mo, sah!' replied
Nose, earnestly. mo, Kurnel; there
amt been no new debts 'tracted, but
they's been er pc fui 'spansion of SOM
mer tn ole ones"
Now that's an innocent little anec-
dote, not calculated to bring blush
to the cheek of any reader and illus
trating what our Northern friends re-
gard as the native wit of the colored
brother. Such jeux d'esprit sell at
three for So.
Il might continue these lightning
changes Indefinitely" the speaker went
on, but think I've covered my point
However, if | was running a series of
dialect or character sketches | wouldn't
use such a joke separately at all, but
would store it away to work into the
general drift of thu text. Merely as an
illustration, suppose | was the inventor
of Mr.. Dooley, which | wish to the
Lord | was, I'd start off about like
this-
"'They Sc no de- vim Hinnessy, that
tn imper-rayel POI y has taken fur'rm
hould on tn imagination of tn toilin'
masses, said Mr.. Dooley. They're like
tn lad on tn far'rm, pinin to go to tn
city to acquire experience an goald
bricks. At present iVerythings fer tx
pansion. l was at Hogan's last night,
an young Tim, we know he's a wild
divvle, struck tn ould man fer fifty.
What fur" says Hogan, AN is it
new debts we've been contractin'?'
says he. mo, father" says Tim, its
ould vans says he. I've been iXpand-
in" says he. It's no wonder, Hin
| messy, that
But you see how it is With lit
tie care and ingenuity | can serve up
1 my diminutive idea in almost as many
different forms as Oscar at the Wal
! dorf-Astoria can serve eggs. which
! believe is GIG. Sometimes | start to
indite two line text for picture and
expand the theme into a 1000 word
stOriette. It's one of the tricks of the
trade, me boy, without which | should
be obliged to take my meals at con-
siderably cheaper hashery." New Or
| leans Democrat