davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
His Opinion Of M r Wood. !. !.

Not far from a Southern town a
mean white man had been missing his
firew0od from n pile that had been
sawed into three-foot lengths. In or
der TO discover which way his wood
was going this mean man bored an
auger hole six or eight inches deep in
one end Of q piece of wood and filled
the hole with powder then plugged II
with a tight-fittlng peg and rubbed
some mud on the place with intent to
deceive.
The night following the day on which
that piece Of wood was missed there
was q dance at negro cabin hard by.
When the dance was at its height the
pOwder-charged chunk exploded in
ihe house OF meTiment, and the fne
dew away, also all that end OF the cab
IN and large Zap of the roof. Some
of the revelers were blown out of
doors and even out of their clothes
Altogether the disturbance was unsccm
~ and perturbation prevailed. The
only person present who seemed tC
have maintained his mental and physi
cal equilibrium was the owner of the
cabin. who remarked after the smoke
and dust had cleared some:
dat Is pooty nigh de popinist wood
Use mos evah seed. Chicago >Chr0ni
Gle.
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
At the Tfcket Window

"When does She next train that stops
at McAllisterville leave hereT
You will have 10 wait four Hours"
II think not"
Well. maybe you know better than
] do whether I'm expecting to travel
on that train myself or whether / am
inquiring for n relative that's visiting
AT my house and wanted me TO call
here and ask about IL and save her the
trouble because she's packing up her
things and expects tOstake shat train
herself and not me and maybe YOU
think it's your business TO stand be-
hind there and try TO instruct people
about things they know as well as YOU.
IL not better. but my idea is that you're
put there because they couldn't use you
in the switching department and per-
haps you'll learn some day TO give peo-
pie civil answers when they ask YOU
civil questions, young man; my Opin-
ion Is you won'tr'
with gasp)-"Yes, ma'am. Chi
cago Tribune.
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
The. Eternal Fitness.

"l.ou-you want 10 see meT said the
business man, as he turned in his Office
chair at the entrance of stranger.
"Nes. sir" was the reply from the
well-dressed, prosperous-lool1lng caller
II left your house half an hour ago"
"H'ml one Of my wife's relatives
brother on sOmethingY
No, sir, l am a tramp. ! called there
10 ask for an old coat. and she hunted
me up this outfit-overcoat. business
suit. hat, shoes. everything. These
things must have cost you at least
$50"
"Nearer $780, srowled the business
man.
Don't doubt it, but YOU see the fix
I'm in? There is such thing as tho
eternal fitness OF things. can't 20
around striking folks for n nickle in
no such rig-out as this"
"N-ow
"And no one would think of asking
mc-to carry out ashes or shovel snow"
"WellY'
well. yOu'll have to give me q Job
OF ] shall have to return the clothes"
The merchant scratched his head.
sighed heavily and. ringing his bell
he said TO the boy who answered Il:
''Joseph, tell Mr.. Markham TO put
this gentleman to work at $40 per
week and advance him as fast as his
talents and attention TO my interests
seem to deserve"
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
BOUND 70 CATCH THE MULE
Thought the Syringe Might Have the
Same Effect On Himself.

A physician and his friend were
standing on the street corner Of a
Virginia town where they were spend
ing q few days. Their attention was
amusingly arrested by the sight OF an
old darky belaboring the TANKS Of a
mule ia a vain persuasion to make him
move on. At last the doctor was APP
pea1ed TO.
Say, boss III give you i've dollahs
ef you'll make dis byar mule co.
with a sly wink the physician OPEN
cd his case and took out his hypoder-
mic syringe. filed the needle with an
acid and sent il into the hind quarters
Of the mule The effect was magical.
With n wild plunge the mule went
tearing down the street, with the
darky after him. the bystanders roar
ing with laughter A short time after
ward the darky. dust-cOvered and
painting. approached again.
'Say. boss-hOw much-was de wuff
--of dat stuff-yo' done squht-in dat
mules~
"Ohm said the doctor, "about 10
cents"
Down went the darkcy's hands into
his jeans pockets He fished out two
dimes.
.Hyah. boss-am 20 cents. l wish
yo' would squht-twice as much OF dat
stun into me-casc Use bound-to
catch dat mule"
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
Humorous Items.

Il thought kittens purred and birds
sang
''yhafs it. Of course"
"Pshaw, Did you never hear Of a
lars SpurT' Philadelphia Bulletin.
First Goat You'd better be careful
about eating that.
second Goat-.Why sog
billy, over there. ate an old SILK one
thc other day. and he's been talking
through IL ever since. Brooklyn Lire.
1ramp-Yep. lady, Tsc known from
Name 10 California as Printed Cali.
co"
Lady-What funny name. What
do they call you that for?
Tramp-Cause IL yer went TO wash
me I'D run.-Chicago News.
~ have observed that the West is
exciting a growing influence over the
East; even our Eastern flowers have
attained to Western habits; they re-
mind me OF those desperados who dis.
cnarge their weapons before they take
them from their pockets"
"Hcw is thaty
why. they shoot before they show
their pistols. ."-Richmond Dispatch.
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
Harmless NIicrnhes.

She was shy Of the germs in the wa.
ter,
She boiled and killed them by steam;
She was shy of germs in the butter
And microbes that flourish in cream;
She was shy Of the germs in the sir.
lOin
OF germs in the marrowfat bone;
She was shy Of germs on her money
And germs that you meet at the
phone;
She was shy OF germs at the playhouse
OF germs on the car transfer slips;
But she. wasn't a bit shy OF the mi
crobes.
IL there were any on Archibald'slips
Chicago News
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
DIED.

CONNOLLY.-On the 2Sth instant,
Howard. son of Michael J. and Ellen
NJ Connolly. aged years and s
months.
.GRAY.-In Moundsville, w. Va. ON the
27th instant, Mrs. Amanda Gray, in
her S5th year.
HEFFERN.-ln this city. ON November
80, 1899, Thomas lleffern. aged IS
years.
Relatives and friends are respectfully
invited 10 attend the funeral. on Mon
day morning. December A. at > O'Clock.
from the residence OF his son-in-law.
James !. Carey No. III Kirkwood
street. High mass at st. Patrick s
Church. Interment New Cathedral
Cemetery.
WEEKS.-In this city. on the 9th in
slant, Elizabeth Weeks, aged 7S
years.
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
OVER DIPLOMATIC wasE
DsA sT. TLf - i MEEI
he Tried In Vain To Explain His
Peculiar Actions.


Mr.. Meekton was gazing at his wife
with that inane and amiable fixity
which comes into mans face when he
has been mapping and is ashamed Of
the fact.
'Leonidas," she said Fternly.
fWhat is it, my dearY he inquired,
as he Strengthened himself up in his
sleepy hollow chair.
'What is the matters"
''Nothing is the matter" he said,
growing red in the face. Il haven't
intimated that there was anything
wrong, have II"
''No. But you have been behaving
rather queerly Just now you gave a
little start and exclaimed. Yes, Hen
rietta, agree with you, perfectly
well" answered he, apprehensively,
'there isn't anything in that TO take
exception 10. is theref"
Are yon sure you meant itY
Every word Of H."
"You had given the matter due con-
sideration before you spOkeY
Certainly. DO you doubt It. Henri
ettat"
"Oh, no. But can't help attaching
some significance to the fact that
hadn't uttered a word during the ten
minutes previous 10 your enthusiastic
Endorsement OF my sentiments"
''Vell, tOatell the truth, Henrietta. I
had been asleep and something awoke
me. and Inaiurally snpposed-that is
TO say, took IL for granted"-and then
he gave IL up.-W Washington Star
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
Hand to Ernlnin Awnr-

present, did / not, MatildaF he asked.
Yes; but surely, Albert, you nre not
going TO speak Of your gifts as if
1T was young and speechless at the
timeT
"Yes," with increasing wonder; 'and
II has never been out OF this parlor"
"rhere are no other young ladies in
this house,"
''No. shcre are nOt.'
Then why-why when ] kissed yOnl
photograph in yOnder album. while
waiting for YOU, did that wretched
bird initiate your voice, aud say,
Don't do that Charlie; please don't "
--Iit-Bits
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
MARRIED.

sHELDON-PARKE.-On November
30 1899. at p. m. at the parsonage
Of the First NJ. Il. Church, of Cam
den. n. j., by Or. Handley. William
A. sheldon, OF Philadelphia, and
Sarah A. Parke. of Camden. Nj
SEIRING-GRADY.-On October 2S.
1899. by Rev. c. A. Griso. Ph. d., at
Union Church parsonage, No. sos
Washington street, William r. Seir-
ing and Miss Catharine Grady, both
Of Philadelphia.
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
Reiter Thnn NIedlcIne.

"Ahaw shouted the patient triumph.
antly as he rushed into the doctors Of
Gee "Pve cured that insomnia now.
sleep like n top"
"HOw's thatt'
Il leave that loud golf suit OF mine
IN aAOther room when / 90 TO bed
Detroit Free Press.
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
Washed Him Ont.

II see that Kansas doctor tried the
other day 20 commit suicide by eating
a cake OF soap
And how did they save himg"
Il understand that they found him
when he was almost gone. but c0nclud-
ing that while there was life there was
soap they attached a stomach pump 70
him and gave him a clean start In life" ="
Chicago ,Times-Herald.
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
Could You BIame Him.

Men are such horrid. inconsiderate
creatures she exclaimed on her way
home from She theatre. "Nou know 1
couldn't take this hat off without run
ming the risk of spelling it,
'.Well. nobody said anything"
no; but actions speak louder than
words. And every time l glanced
around the man behind me was Gran
Ing his neck and deliberately looking
as uncomfortable as he possibly could
Washington Star.
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
An Ear For Asnira,es

'Taln't only English people drop
their aitches,' said q little hoy TO the
new teacher Il never heard no Ameri-
can pronounce tho aitch In my name. %
What is your name" asked the
teacher.
"Johnnie" said the little boy.-Harp.
cr's Bazar.
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
Personal.

YOU PAY HALF PRICE ONLY.-We
Will examine your Eyes Free, and make
you any glass TO order you need for one
half the price YOU have to pay anywhere
else an the city or any other city.
All YOU have 10 know is what other deal
efs charge YOU and we make or sell YOU
the same article for One-haf Price
our work Is guaranteed. W e do al kinds
needed N the Np.lcal Line. cll and see
Tor yourselves.
: ---..- PROFESSOR WE'LL.
No. S12 Market street
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
WHAT DO You wANrY

Advertise your wants M the Evening
Journal Employment wanted. help
T'a-1tsd = }si, fo- REM tar sale. board
nag. a-l1 --1s- -n1 coond lds. VII =. -ll-
lished. three lines, one time for q dlmEs
three times for a quarter.
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
spCOND CROP OF pEARs.

John Stockton. near Marshall has a
few pear trees, which are loaded down
with a second crop OF the fruit. Though
small, the pears are we'll formed.
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
WIZ no You wANr,

Advertise YOUR wants en- the Evening
Journal Employment Wanted help
: aE,ts1 = -. -cr rent x,s safe tczrd-
-ssss. f-.-. -zst and 1ound ADS vsiL -. plth-
-ta4fc. trfoe. LIKES. ona TINE, fo4 a dim nEs
fhr4e times for quartsr.
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
More
5000
Ovcrcoats.

$1,000 kcrscys, velvet
collars, satin
Ovcrcoats. 81 lecves and
shoulders; body
Innings Of all wool. Black
clay diagonal, something
that is dressy and will wear.
We know of no better coat
any where at $40. Heavy,
light colored coverts, with
and without velvet collars,
at same prices. Hundreds
of coats at all the other
prices, IS to $35; Astrakan
all silk lined beavers, with
velvet edges, at SIS. ALL
silk lined Montagnacs, at
$50 and SIS. Short box,
smooth kerseys and Oxford
Friezes, with new style cuffs
and velvet collars, at SIS; a
swell coat for young men.
Open Tuesday and Saturday
evenings.
Evening journal., 1899-12-02

Five per cent. will be added TO all
county tax bills after December 81.
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
DENTISTS.
DENTIST.
DIP. c. o. FUNK.

Experienced operative and mechanical
reII.ss. Ne. So Market street, Whining
To-. Del.
Hours daEly:-s a. m.-to Pm.
Evening journal., 1899-12-02

Il wonder if the girl next door plays
by ear
NO. only by The hour"
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
LOST AND FOUND

LOST.-Bank book, 1926, Artisans
Savings Bank, in name Of William
Mailer.
Evening journal., 1899-12-02

TAXPAYERS TAKE NOTICE-As all
county taxes for 1897 and 1898 must hc set
lied in The month OF November Twill pro-
vccd ai once 10 collect The same accord
ing TO law. the cutcring of liens against
taxpayers. no allow tho taxpayers 10
take advantage OF the three per cent. re-
bate, tho tax Office at the Court House
will be open daily except Saturday. from 3
a. m. to p. M; and on the 2Sth, 29th and
3Oth from 5 a. m. TO 3 p. m.
HORACE G. RETTEW.
Receiver OF Taxes.
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
Help WANTED.

VACATION work offered agents In
lvery town 10 secure subscriptions TO the
magazine, Good Housekeeping" Special
commissions and prizes for good workers
during July and August. Write Us for In
formation that Will ilterest you. GOOD
HOUSEKEEPING. Springfield. Mass.
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
NOTICES.

NOTICE.-The Medical Examining
Board representing the Homeopathic
Medical Society of Delaware state and
Peninsula, VIII meet I'm Wilmington, at the
office of C. NJ. Almond, NJ. d., No. 9l3
Tatnan street December y, 13 and II, 1899,
for the purpose of examining candidates
who may desire "a hcense to practice
Medicine and Surgery in this state, ifl
conformity with the act regulating the
same pa<sed at Dover May IS, 1885.
For particulars apply TO the secretary
of the Medical COunul, Dr Irving 5. Val
hndigham, Aiddlctown. Del.
G.. NJ. AnIMOND. NJ. D..
Scc'y Homeopathic ENamining Board.
Wilmington Del. Nov. % 1859
Evening journal., 1899-12-02
JAS. 7. MULLIN & SONS,

SHOes' wilmington,
Il
Evening journal., 1899-12-02

PROFESSOR We'll.
No. S13 Market street
The Norfolk weekly news. (Norfolk, Neb.) 1888-1900, 1899-10-26

Come i'll and see the new Norfolk
Cash store.
The Norfolk weekly news. (Norfolk, Neb.) 1888-1900, 1899-10-26
TUESDAY TOPICS.

Oscar Uhle, the grocer, has gone to
Omaha.
Miss Bly,, sister of Mrs. +, C. Weber,
has accepted Il position III the Fair store.
Owen O'Neill of Battle Creek was n
city visitor today on his way TO Madison.
The Wednesday club will meet to.
morrow afternoon at 80 with Mrs.
Geo. l.. lies.
Fathers Feldmenn and Czech of
Humphrey were the guests of Father
Walsh yesterday,
Miss Hattie McKim left on the noon
train for Council Bluffs, where she will
visit with Mrs. Beam.
The Elkhorn train from the east was
late again last night and did not arrive
in Norfolk until II 80.
Geo, Brechler of Madison, who aspires
to the position of county treasurer, was
in the city again today.
DIR Deerlng, formerly connected with
the Norfolk hospital for the insane, wa.
in>the city yesterday from Lincoln.
H H. Thomas of Chicago is visiting
his brother, who is clerking in the Fai,
store, and may decide to locate in Nor
folk.
The derrick which was used in putin,
down the well at the waterworks pump
ing station blew over during las
nights storm.
Asa X. Leonard is confined to his be-
with another attack of trouble with hi
back, the result of Injuries received il
the cyclone several seasons ago.
w. r. Hoffman is moving his famil,
into the Powell house on Prospec
The Norfolk weekly news. (Norfolk, Neb.) 1888-1900, 1899-10-26

mentioned poet, is evidenced by the fol-
lowing received by Mr.. Brakeman on a
postal card
October % 1t would be very, very
much appreciated if your cow would
not make quite as much noise as she
has made during the last few days.
one OF YOUR NEIGHBoRs.
Is is understood that Mr.. Brakeman,
upon receiving the card, proceeded to III
interview with the disturber of the
neighborhood and gently demonstrated
with her over her seeming lack of Ell.
quette. He even went so far rs to read
the postal card to her and the effect
seemed to be very gratifying at that
time, and if 1t continues so the owner
will feel that the desired result has been
accomplished. If not there will be a
demand for a small boy with a very
large hand to cover the cows mouth, or
a patent muzzle specially designed to
mutflle sound, OF he may be compelled
to build a noise tight cell of some kind
in which to coufine the brute. Anyway
he hopes in some way to overcome the
objection to his domestic arrangement.
WANTED-seyeral bright and honest
persons to represent us as managers in
this and close by counties. Salary 5000
a year and expenses. Straight, bona tide
no more, no less salary. Position perma.
nent. Our references, any bauk in any
town. 1t is mainly office work con
Quoted at home. Reference. Enclose
self .addressed stamped envelope. THE
DOMINION COMPANY, Dept B, Chicago.
The Norfolk weekly news. (Norfolk, Neb.) 1888-1900, 1899-10-26
TWO DIE FROM STARVATION.
Alaskan Vessel Arrives ut Seattle with
Pnssengers In WretChed Plight.

atthNNh nv Uhhth'
Passengers In Wretched Plight.
SEATTLE, Oct. 25.-The schooner Hera,
which left Cape Nome Sept. 26, arrived
here yesterday. Two men died on the
way down, II of starvation and II of
dementia. The only supplies aboard
when the schooner arrived here were a
little flour and water. The crew was in
a pitiable state. There were 200 per-
SONS on board. Some of the passengers
were half crazy from starvation and
lack of water.
News of the wretched plight of the
Hera's passengers was brought here
Sunday night by the steamer Lakme.
The revenue cutter Grant and the tug
Sea Lion Immediately started after
the schooner. They succeeded i'll find
ing the schooner Monday about 80 miles
off Cape Flattery. The two deaths re-
ported are those Of j. @. Ryan, who
came on board a well man, but through
bad food and lack of attention grad
ually grew worse until he died on Oct.
6. The other case is much the anne
George Lamby, through want
OF nourishment and confine-
ment in ill-ventilated quarters,
was taken with typhoid fever and died
on Oct. 81. While he was sick he had
absolutely no medical attention. Both
men were buried at sea. From the
statements of other passengers it is
learned that the agent of the ship at
Nome guaranteed them plenty of good
I provisions on the way down. They
We're charged $50 for their passage.
When they Were a few days out meat,
sugar and butter ran ont.
The Norfolk weekly news. (Norfolk, Neb.) 1888-1900, 1899-10-26

prosperous farmer and cattle raiser of
Madison, Neb., was in Sioux City yes.
terday, n buyer at the stock yards.
Madison is the home of ex.United States
Senator Allen, now District Judge
Allen. Tho distinguished populist is n
partner in business OF Thomas Malone,
of Madison, a brother of John Malone.
Speaking of politics, Mr.. Malone said
although the county | live in is demo.
cratic, | believe it is going to go repub-
lican this fall. The voters believe the
democrats are too radical on the war
question and then the good times have
converted many to republicanism. IL
Nebraska goes republican this fall then
it's goodby to Billy Bryan"
II. ID. Reynolds returned yesterday
from Salem, s. d., preparatory to begin.
ing work OH the new opera house for
which he promised to be on hand when
wanted. He expected to begin brick.
laying this morning but the brick has
not sufficiently cooled in the kiln to be
used. He expects, however, to begin
work Monday morning, at the latest,
with a force of five masons, and the
work will then be rushed rapidly. Dur
ing the balance of this week the ma.
terial will be got on the ground ard all
things in readiness so that there need be
no delay after the work starts. Mr..
Reynolds states that there is much pros.
perity where he has been working and
the populists are returning to the repub.
llcan ranks by the score. He a that
it is n quite common thing up there for
farmers to pay So 30 per day and board
for hands and that some young men
not out of their teens are making these
wages. q
Pat Stanton of Tilden, vice p esident
of the Nebraska Retail Liquor Dealers
association came down last night to make
arrangements for the semi.annual meet.
ing OF that organization which will be
held in Norfolk November II and 10.
a meeting of local dealers was held
last night at Chas. Rice's place of bust
ness for the purpose of organizing. Mr..
Rice was made chairman of the meet
ing and Rudy Blatt, secretary. A com
mittee or finance, consisting of Chas.
Rice, G. f. A Marquardt and II H. Pat.
ter son was named, and they will solicit
funds tomorrow to provide for the enter
tainment of the delegates. Geo. Heller
was made a committee of one on music.
Another meeting will be held Friday
night when other details of the meeting
will be looked after. 1t is expected that
there will be from $50 to 200 delegates
from all parts Of the state in attendance
at the meeting and the local dealers de-
sire that nothing for their entertain
ment shall be left undone. 1t is pro-
posed, among other things, that the dele
gates be driven to the sugar factory, the
hospital for the insane and through the
principal parts Of the city.
The Norfolk weekly news. (Norfolk, Neb.) 1888-1900, 1899-10-26
RUSSIA TO ~ARBITRATE.
New Point of international Law Involved
In Claim of Sealers.

LONDON, Oct. 25.-Russia, it has been
learned by the Associated Press, has at
last agreed to arbitrate with the United
States the claims resulting from the
seizure of sealers in the Boring sea,
which have been pending for about
eight years. A protocol between the
two governments has been drawn up,
the final formalities are expected tn be
concluded next month and the arbitra-
ton will probably take the form of the
Venezuelan court.
The Norfolk weekly news. (Norfolk, Neb.) 1888-1900, 1899-10-26

Are you thin? Would you like to get
fat and plump? Tried Laughing"
t wouldn't work, now take Rocky
Mountain Tea, t will do the business.
The Norfolk weekly news. (Norfolk, Neb.) 1888-1900, 1899-10-26
Chief of POLICE White is Dead.

OMAHA, Oct. 25.-Chief of Police
Martin White died this morning at
O'Clock at his room in the Merchants
hotel. DR.. Gilmore announced that
heart failure, following a complication
of liver trouble, as the immediate u
of his death.
The Norfolk weekly news. (Norfolk, Neb.) 1888-1900, 1899-10-26
HOLDING OUT FOR A HARBOR
Canada willing to Give Up Part of the
Gold Country.

LONDON, Oct. 25.-The Associated
Press is enabled to give authoritatively
Canada's final proposition for a perma-
nent settlement of the Alaskan dispute.
Canada gives up much of the disputed
gold country in return for a seaport,
Pyramid harbor, but s~tipulates that it
must get the latter before it agrees to
arbitrate the boundary line.