Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-11-22
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IT'S suli anu maven l u luO>
ment that l can call my own."-Ohi.
cago News.
Proud Father surveying his new
,born-"Don't you think he looks like
meY' Jealous Nlsltor-"Yes, poor lit
tie thingr-Fit-B Bits
Myrtle Cushion writes that she Is
now living surrounded by splendor."
Il suppose she's got new silk petit
coat. Chicago Record
Hard TO catch First Citizen-"The
Filipnos are an inferior race" Sec
ond Citlzen-"rhat may be, but they
can put up Il superior race."-Puck.
ITO our silent heroes" little Willie
read from the memorial bronze; Pop
per, what are silent heroesT Married
men," said per.--lndianapolis Jour
nal.
The amiable plutocratB But riches do
not bring happiness The unamiable
pauper-But | amt looking fer happi-
ness. All | want Is comfort. ."-lndian-
apolis Journal.
Wheels: 81 feel as If had wheels In
my head groaned the man. ut must
be the truck you ate for dinner re-
Joined his wife. innocently enough
Detroit Journal.
"A self-opening and closing umbrella
has been invented" That's no good;
what the world wants is IN umbrella
that will find its way back home when
stolen. Detroit Free Press.
Il wonder why il is" said Jinks,
that most authors are snobsi' 'Well,"
said Bnks, Il suppose 1t Is because
royalties pay their expenses, and their
titles are copyrighted. Bazaar.
Weary Watklns-Dusty, suppose you
was Dewey Dusty Rhodes-l won't
do nothin Of the sort. I'm hungry, but
amt a-goin to ruin my stummick by
thinkin of the things he's got TO eat
Bazaar.
And this" said the enthusiastic
traveller, as the train entered Boston,
sis Americas intellectual holy of
holes" "Shueks." exclaimed the 9TH
er traveller; its only the ante-room."-
Chicago Tribune.
Hello, Smith; suppose man marries
his first wife's step-sister's aunt, what
relation is he to her?' "First- wife
m-step-aunt-er-let me see: don't
know Bright fellow-He's her hus-
band.-Exchange.
$50 you want to write war news?"
said the enterprising exponent of emo
tional journalism. Yes" said the
young man. ''Do you feel that you are
equipped for that kind of employ.
ment?' 81 do; I've got map and an
imagination Washington Star.
81 must say" said the Filipino gen.
eral, that we seem as far as ever from
a solution of this race problem" "Have
you a race problem?" Il should say so.
Even the army is thrown into constant
confusion by this wild desire of individ-
uals to come out first in every retreat"
Washington Star
Dobley-"I understand that young
Spending is being pushed for money"
Mrs. Dobley-"Why, l heard that he
was spending gay summer at Allan
tic City" Dobley-"Yes, that's it. He
takes a constitutional every morning
on the board walk in one of those
wheel-chairs. ."-Criterion.
Parent Qeft in charge)-"No, you can
not have any more cake" Very seri-
ously) 'Do you know what l shall have
to do if you go on making that dread
ful noise| Little girl (sobbing)-"Yes.
Parent-"Well, what is that" Little
girl-"Give me some more cakew (And
she was quite right.)-Punch.
Missionary-"Was it liquor that
brought you to thisY Imprisoned
Burglar-"No, sir; 1t was house-clean-
in'-spring house-cleanin'-slr." Mis-
sionary-"E -house-cleaningT Burg
lar-"Yes, sir; the woman had been
house-cleanin' an the stair-carpet was
up, an the folks heard me."-Tit-Bits.
The golf language: "Wen, Mabel,
hoy was the musicale?" Perfect
foozle Miss Virgins made drive at
Mozart, and sliced every bar. When
| left, Jennie Lathers was trying to
stymie Helen Waterbury in duet"
"Was it nearly overY "Yes. Polite
Dawson didn't come, so there were
three up and only two to play, on the
program, when l putt out-"-Bazar.
Something to be considered: Pros
pective Tourist (at booking-office of
great ocean liner)-"That stateroom is
near the stern of the vessel, isn't it?"
Agent-"Yes, sir" Prospective Tour
ist--"You ought not to charge me full
price for it," Agent-"Why not7"
Prospective Tourist-"Because when
the steamer comes to land I'll have to
walk half a mile to get ashore"
cago Tribune.
Chinese Premier-"I see that the
province of Wing Wang yields no rev.
enue." Chinese Secretary Of Treasury
Yes, the people are very poor; the
land is worthless, and the harbors are
filling up with sand. 1 know not what
to do with Wing Wang" Chinese
Notwithstanding agfar. hova aOvna>-