The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-06-01
he Parsons Box.

Nv ! vi OWL . OON
D d
ssEESEss GEGGG;
"Speakin of war; remarked Moot
Rivers the old Maine guide, as he tip
ped his cracker box back against the
front Of the country store. upon whose
platform company Of village loafers
had gathered-.''speakin Of war reminds
me OF a sort Of Quaker parson that ust
to come up into these parts every win
ter and travel round among the lumber
camps holdin religious services That
man vas the deadest sot ag'in blood
bheddin Of anybody I ever see, before or
since. He didn't even believe in war
between man and varmints, sayin that
it wat crime ag in God to take the life
he had given any critter Of his'n. He
wouldn't eat meat becuz it was slain,
and ssmetimes. I can tell ye. boys. the
poor cuss was reel hard put to it for a
bellyful here in the woods whar the
heft Of our provender ust to be wild
meat I've seen him go to bed half fam
ished when he'd stop at one Of my
camps for night and find me out of
everything but tea and venison.
"The parson-as we fellers up here
called him; he was good sort of
chap, too-was SO determined not to
shed the blood of any Twin critter that
he wouldn't even fight varmints in self
defense. He didn't carry any weppin
besides his ak and jackknife. and these
he only used for cuttin his wood and
buildin his camps What did he do
when pestered by wild critters, then
That's what I'm a-goin to tell ye.
"The parson Travelled through the
WOODS with a strong oak box, bout Z
feet long and 215 broad, sot on tobog-
gan. It was the stoutest, best built box
l eve. see. put together with four inch
screws and bound on the inside with
steel strips and brackets. The top raised
up, lid fashion. ard was fastened on by
eight big brass hinges Inside thar was
chain lock to hold the cover down. so
the devil himself couldn't raise it with
out pullin the box to pieces. Thar We're
two or three small holes bored in the
end Of the box for ventilation. and I'll
be blamed if that parson Teller didn't
ust to dump his duds out in the snow
and crawl into that box whenever
wolves or painter or bar got arter him,
and thar he'd cuddle down, as snug and
peaceful as a kitten in basket and
let them critters paw his chist around
ontil they got tired Of it'll Thar ust to
be scratches quarter of an inch deep
all over that box where varmints he'd
clawed it, and the parson has told me
that sometimes he lay thar for a hull
night or hull day till whatever crit
ter was interested in him got its curl
osity kind of wore off and left in arch
of softer vittles. More than oncet he
come within an inch of freezin and
would have froze if it hadn't been for
the blanket he had in the box with him.
But sartin sure no varmint that roamed
the woods was able to crack the parson s
shell, and he wa n t no hard shell Baptist
neither.
81 s'pose he might have gone on
boxin of himself up that way till he got
all the choppers in the woods convarted
if it hedn't been for an accident that
disturbed his arrangements and kind
of demoralized his principles. I'll tell
ye how it happened.
'tMe and him was on the way to the
Jennings lumber camp away up near
the headwaters Of the Alleguash. It
was spiteful cold weather in February,
and we was anxious to reach shelter
before nightfall. The parsons box was
kind Of hard draggin up them hills,
but he stuck to it and said it want
any wuss than my pack. anyway.
which was true enough, guess
"Waal, it got to be along about 8
o'clock in the AFTERNOON, when I'll be
gosh darned eff didn't hear wolf, two
or three miles back. give his long drawn
howl on our traill Now. thinks I, Mr..
Parson and Mr.. Rivers, there's goin to
be plenty Of excitement for ye in about
an hourl The parson knew what was
comm as well as I. and he says: i
think thar's room for two in my box.
Mr.. Rivers VIII thee not jine me thar.
when we are obliged to seek safety, on
til these poor critters become weary Of
their thirst for human bloodf'
g 'Thankin you for yer hospitality,
parson, says I. 1t will agree with my
constitution better, I think. to climb a
tree and pick of them varmints, one by
one, till the coast is clear for a warm
upper and dry bunk.
20 Lord. says he, lookin up with
mournful eyes. the bloodthirstiness of
man, made in thine imagel Neverthe-
less / will continue with thee, my
friend. ontil the peril is upon us. Then
perhaps thee will reconsider and enter
the box with me.
THAT remains to be seen, parson,
says I. for didn't want to hurt his
feelin's too bad all at oncet.
SIN the meanwhile the howl of the
first wolf had been answered by another
and another, and putty soon the woods
seemed to be full of the yellin devils.
1t want great while afore we could
see 'em skulkin AFTER us among the
trees, and come to the conclusion it
was time to get fixed for business. Get
into yer box, parson, says I, for I've
picked out my tree and the limb whar
I'm goin to SET.
Thee viii not jine me. then r says
be. beginnin to pitch ont his plumber.
!" Not this trip. parson.' says 1