Evening star., 1899-04-08
sorry to think how she must have been
suffering for soda water ever since.

| sorry to think how she must have been
suffering for soda water ever since.
|
l This inspired others to tell what they had
| done-or what had been done to them-on
the turf. and one man, relating remark
| able luck in playing his last s. on an un-
| known horse and winning lot after a day
| of uninterrupted losses, was reminded to
| say, Il was amused recently noticing how
| a chaps being dead broke is conditioned by
| his point Of view. / was talking races with
| Howard Gould one evening much we've
| been talking now, and he told me of a day
| everything had been going straight against
| him until he was dead broke-absolutely
| dead broke-hadnt a cent in his pocket but
| hundred dollars. which he played on a
| long shot and won a thousand But dead
| broke, you know-nothing to spend but
| hundred-pitiful. wasn't It?
That playing his last paltry hundred he
should win thousand is just like his luck,
though
Speaking of a dead sure thing, i have
just learned of novel one for breaking up
a party at the right time. You know. just
about all the pleasure in life depends on
things breaking up al the right time. Break
up a love affair either by row or getting
| married before you've begun yawning in
each others faces. and you have at least
saved aperfect memory out of the inevitable
disappon ntment. Break up a dinner party
before the purrinSr content of stuffed
stomach has been talked to death. and your
guests will go home loving you wei
enough to entertain you in return. Break
up even applause you have evoked, depart
in the midst of your successes, leaving only
regrets and illusions behind The last. lin
gering word is spoken to introduce ennui,
the last word is given and mourning fol-
lows. the last crumb of the feast
The trouble is. while almost everybody
realizes this, few know just how TO 90 it.
You always hate to be the first one to
break away-the other fellow and all the
rest feel the same about it-and so human
fnr
to an end the way we used to stop swinging
when We were children-''let the old cat die
out, don't you know-hang on that is.
until life is at standStill and the end
rives through the inertia of sheer eXhauS-
t:0n.
For this reason 1 really think Mr.. p
ought to patent his device for sending COM
pany home at the right time.
Mr.. P is a jolly good bachelor uncle.
and he gave his debutante niece party at
his quarters the past winter.
My mother always taught me-" said he.
that one of the greatest things in the
world is quitting, and l guess / rather sur
prised one load of my guests that night L
was moving about in the front room, the
window open, when a carriage drove up
and heard the youngsters tell the coach
man to come back about quarter after
twelve. Not on your life.' l promptly called
from the window; little girls Of eighteen
must go to bed early; you come back at
quarter before twelve.
''Queer talk for a host to give 'em, no
doubt they thought, but l knew my busi-
ness Everybody had an awfully good time,
and when it got about midnight L knew
perfectly well the best time of all had
come-the time to go home. But the
precious kids, don't you know, were too
jolly to dream of such a thing. so l fell
, back upon invention. When l was down in
Panama not long ago l got lot of tre-
works there, and they are no less remarka-
| BILE for their bang and blaze than for the
smoke they make. When l told my bud
| ding guests that L was going to touch of
some of these fireworks in the house, their
| little childish giee was unbounded. kept
my word and the applause was enthusi-
astic; everybody for the moment felt like
| staying with me till Fourth of July, but
presently they began coughing and sneez-
| ing and gasping for breath-the smoke was
settling down from the ceiling. Somebody
murmured something about opening
window, but l was afraid of draughts. and
| then, Of course, somebody spoke of going
home. In fifteen minutes it was all over.
Talk about firing your company, there's
one way of doing it that's all right"
1 have just heard of a woman who
couldn't be influenced by fire or smoke if
! it interfered with her going to matinee.
This woman's devotion to matinee gods is
only equaled by her command of resources
upon all occasions. During the big bliz-
Zard she got entirely out of provisions ex-
| cept condensed milk, and the only dealer
who dug his way to her kitchen was the
| ice man. Instead of being overcome by the
| irony of life and getting discouraged, she
bought some ice, made ice cream of the
| condensed milk. and was happy to think of
| the bargain she got from the ice man, who
was almost giving away his goods that
day. The next day, which was Wednesday.
she was feeling very jubilant indeed to
think that a kind, overruling Providence
should have ordered the blizzard conve
niently for matinee day. Even the cars
were running, and one of the most perfect
dears on the whole stage, after two days
delay by the storm, had got to town just
in time for the matinee that afternoon. She
was all ready to depart, when the cook
came chasing to the front door in great ex-
citement, telling her the frozen water pipes
in the kitchen were doing strange things.
and that the boiler on the point of
bursting. 1t was then five minutes of ,. If
she waited for the explosion, evef
waited to call out the fire department and
the Emergency ambulance, she would be
late for the matinee. Instantly she arose
to the occasion.
Annie you just get the nurse and the
baby and lock yourselves in the third-story
front room. You won't feel the explosion
up there, and when | get home I'll look
after anything that has happened.
Then she sailed forth and arrived at the
matinee in time to give her dearest god a
glad hand on his entry. When she returned
home the boiler had exploded. according TO
program, but just as she had said, ii didn't
hurt the baby and the colored folks locked
in the third story. Now she's peacockiug
among all her friends woman superior
to trifles, and she tells her husband she
she really ought to go into business.
like to relate anecdotes of women which
show how possible it is for them to play
a distinguished part in life without doing
violence to the pretty weaknesses of their
gentle sex. In this connection L have been
so pleased to hear discussed the important
role an infirmity of women is at present
playing in diplomacy. One is accustomed to
think of women influencing diplomatic af-
fairs only through their wiles-commonly too
wicked to be thought of with propriety-or
else through their wisdom-no greater credit
to the sex, since nothing more monstrous-
ly unfeminine is to be conceived than an
awfully knowing woman Today, however
We have the personnel of our diplomatic
relations with no fewer than four coun-
tries-three of the ambassadorial category
conditioned by the disposition of women to
get seasick. The French ambassador NJ
Cambon. has never brought his wife to this
country, so indisposed is she at sea. Count
Cassini, the Russian ambassador, has been
bereft of his wifes society in the United