Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1899-03-23

I saw that she was becoming annoy
ed bv the tone Of hipplncy beneath
which was trying to shield coward
" purpose that did not quite dare de-
clare itself. and SO came boldly forth
from behind my cover.
Mother" | said. standing straight
before her. with resolution which
she must have seen it would be
useless TO seek to vanquish written al
over my face. Il nave not been talk
ing so idly and wildly as you imagine
You know, although you wholly dis
approve of the habit. that | am apt tc
form my determinations while you anc
Marion are listening TO the exposition
of a subject. You know also, thouSi
Won will not admit It, that my in
stincts are rarely at fault. Now, here
is n matter which Will allow me &c
prove beyond peradventure the validity
Of my fntuitions. l have never hearC
of this lady whose advertisement, !
have lust read in my life: | do not
know whether she is old or young, ricl
or poor. amiable or the reverse; l &c
not know anything about Eld0n ol
where it may be situated: but, so sure
am | that from the besnning OF my
life If was ordained that | was to spend
the major part of my existence within
IFS boundaries introduced to its neigh
norhood by the requirements OF this
mysterious NJ H. E., that tomorrow
morning shall pack up all your wealth
of worldly possessions and settle them
and YOU at Marion's, as we have ar
ranged to do in event of my obtaining
a Dosition. and in the afternoon | shall
gather together my own goods ana
chattles and depart for Eldon. where
ever it may be, intending to be settled
before nightfall as companion for life
TO the lady who has expressed her need
of me"
NV Door mother regarded me in help
less amazement. Once she opened her
lips as if to speak, doubtless in remon-
STRANGE. but thinking better of it, she
closed them again, contenting herself
with a silent shake of the head, which
suggested all sorts of dire consequences
70 the course of action | was bent on
nursuing. This tacit admission on her
mart of the futility of argument or
exnostulntion struck me so irreSiStibly
that | could not but laugh as | stopped
over her and sought to win her com.
pliance by caresSes.
Don't think so badly of me, dear"
| said 1T will all come out right
never fear. ! will prove my right TO
be governed by impulse"
My mother was of yielding nature,
accustomed to submit to the stronger
forces to which she had given birth.
She Stunned responsibility of every
sort, and it was characteristic of her
to act in matters of moment as she
did now; that is, to avoid committing
herself to any direct line of action by
allowing others to decide for her con-
tenting herself with the assertion that
she washed her hands of the whole
business, and that whatever befell she
could not be held accountable for
bringing it about
TWenty-four hours later l had ac-
complished my resolve, and had writ
ten, with trembling but determined
fingers, 'Finis' to the prologue of my
life's drama. Urged by that potent but
ineXplicable influence which was so
wont to direct me, | had resolutely
snapped the link that bound me to
my dependent girlhood by establishing
my mother in her married daughter
comfortable home, and having thus
burnt my ships behind me, founL my
self confronted with the prospect of
a journey into a strange land OF
promise with no compass to direct my
future steps save the few printed char
acters on the bit of paper slipped under
the palm of my glove for ready refer
ence; with no guidc-b book to inform
me of what nature and habits were the
people with whom | purpCsed dwelling;
with no surety of attaining the goal for
which / was striving except moral
certainty bred within my own breast,
at whose authenticity | was aware all
save myself would scolf and sneer.
My efforts in my mothers behalf oc-
cupied the greater part of the next day,
and I found that the first train 10
Eldon that l should be free to take was
one that left New York It 4.15 in the
afternoon. 1t may show my faith in
what my family We're wont to call my
superstitions to say that, so sure was
that / should not require one, l did
not even concern myself to look up
return train.
But, as I was being whirled through
a barren and desolate landscape in the
chill dreariness of February twilight,
my inner ally, that unrecOgnisable "en-
courager of hesitancy,' somewhat de
serted me, and left me prey to sud
den dependency, and to miserable
doubts and reflections rs to whether
| had indeed done altogether wisely TO
permit myself to be so uncompromis-
ingly directed by mere impulse. For
brief while | abandoned myself to act
ual self torture, inhicting upon my
quaking heart all manner of wretched
forebodings and baleful predictions.
and reproaching myself bitterly for the
Drecipitnncy of my conduct. Then.
recognizing the danger of losing hope
and courage when self-control and as.