The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1899-06-28

His real name was Grimstone-John
Lechmere Grimstone-but TO the boys
at Thetfordbury he was only 1.-THE
Funk" l forget exactly how he first
managed to obtain this unenviable cog
nomen, carelessly bestowed, probably
in the first instance, but, like most pub
lie school nicknames, IL stuck TO him
long after ii had ceased TO be aught
but a reproach to those who used it.
He was a weak, slender little chap
when he first came among us, and with
the thoughtless brutality Of vigorous
boyhOOd we despised him for his lack
of those athletic attributes which we
worshipped in others. For Thetford-
bury was essentially playing
school," and fear even its masters re-
garded its proves in the football and
cricket field as a matter of equal i'm
portance to It's educational standard.
should be sorry to do any one of them
an injustice, but, looking back calmly
upon certain incidents / remember, 1t
seems to me that there must have been
even a certain amount of tutorial pre-
judice against the boy who could con-
tribute nothing to the athletic glory Of
his "house."
And thus IL was that the Funk got
neither liking nor appreciation from
boys or masters. The latter treated
him with less sympathy than his IN
Inphta1 int nh Incnrrn1.
the former bullied or ignored him ac-
cording to temperament. Yet there
were always some of them ready to
take advantage of the Funk's superior
learning. 1t was strange to see the
pale-faced little stripping, surrounded
by perhaps half n dozen of his fore
most tolmentors, gravely assisting
them to get up their Virgil, Euclid, or
algebra. Many were the impositions
thus avoided; many the big lad who
owed his immunity from detention or
fiogging to the ever-ready good nature
of the boy they affected to hold in con-
tempt.
He had been with us three years
when an awful scandal occurred.
Money was stolen from a masters
jacket as it hung in the cricket pavil-
ion, and somehow suspicion fastened
on the Funk. The missing notes were
discovered in his trunk, his eXplana-
ton being that he had changed them
for n boy before he heard of the rob
berry. Proudly refusing further partic-
ularS. however, he was publicly logged
and expelled.
a week later the truth came out. a
head-form boy was missing, and grad
ually we learned of his betting tran
saction with bookmaker in the town
his losses. desperation. and theft of
the notes which the Funk had inno-
Gently cashed. The real culprit had
not the courage TO confess until an
other had suffered for his guilt, and
then only when out of reach of punish
ment. The Funk never came back to
Thetfordbury, but / don't think there
was boy among us who didn't envy
him his martyrdom.
| saw nothing more of him until we
met AT college. Old Colonel birthstone
had set his flinty heart upon his boy
going into the army, and there had
been a stormy scene between father
and son before the question was final
ly disposed of. Enraged and disap-
pointed, the old man worked himself
into a fit of furious passion, which
found rest in the bitterest invectives
against his sons own determination to
enter the church "Damme. sirv he
Numbered tell me like a man why
you refuse to become a soldier: don't.
don't say you're afraid"
Yes, sir. am afraid" answered the
youth, as he looked steadily into the
colonefs blazing eyes; 1.-The thought of
war is hateful 10 me. | could not kill
a man, and IL should fear being
killed"
The father was almost inarticulate
with wrath. "You-you, ID cow
ard"' he gasped. You, Grimstone,
too; go, get out OF my sight and be-
come a sneaking, sniveling curate as
soon as you liker And with this pa.
ternal benediction the Funk came up
to Cambridge.
He was little altered. Taller and
bigger of course, with a handsome, in
tellectual face, but just the same shy,
quiet, studious disposition which char
acterized him as a boy.
Though In the same college, We saw
little of each other except at hall and
chapel, for we soon drifted into wide
ly opposite sets, but / heard of him as
n hard reader and enthusiasts worker
in Barnwell. Time went on and
brought him various university honors
and many-tongued Rumor began to
talk of him as "A future Wrangler In
spite, too, of his evident passion for
Lilias Studley, the masters fair daugh-
ter, and of his chance Of being pre-
ferred to the dashing and cookbook
ing Walter Provost, who was likewise
laying siege TO the heart of the lovely
toast of St Saviour's. And then sud
denly, a few weeks before the exam
ination for degrees, the news flew over
Cambridge that birthstone had been
HSQnt down. md acEod 20 tolyo 1T.