Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-02-01
AtEeDo7E
NHD
INCIDENT


course. asked to say grace. The worthy
dignitary first scanned the menu. IF 1t
was an ordinary repast. the grace be-
gan. Lord. we thank Thee" but,
added Payn. ''if there WAS turtle soup.
the invocation commenced, 'Bountiful
Creator"
Scotch caution is well Illustrated in
the story told by minister who taught
Bible class In Edinburgh. having
missed one Of his students for seTeral
Sundays, he said TO one of her relatives:
Il haena seen yeer cousin Bell at the
class for a long while. Ie ken It's her
duty tae attend the schulz. Whaur
has she gaeny' Il Gamma very weei
tell We that. meepister,' was the care
full reply, but she's deed"
In the famous engagement between
The Bonhomme Richard and the Scraps.
the British captain inquired. AFTER an
hours fighting. to know II Commodore
Jones desired to surrender u nave
not begun to fight yet was the Amerl-
cans reply. Later when he learned
that the British captain had Deen
knighted by George the Third for his
gallantry on that occasion, Jones re-
marked: "Never mind; If | meet him
again I'll make lord of him.
As a performer on the piano, Brahms.
the composer, had an extremely hard
touch. This once led a musician who
was accompanying him on the cello to
exclaim: Il don't hear myself" An
replied Brahms, you are lucky Eel
low" When he left the room after Il
lively evening among friends, he used
TO remark: IF there Is any one present
whose feelings | have not hurt. trust
he will receive my humble apology
John +. Hurley of Salem, Mass who
served In the late war, was clever
gunner, and several years ago the fol
lowing tale was told of his skill: He
was actively engaged in firing solid shot
at the enemy In one engagement, and
his captain came up and said: Private
Hurley, let me see you. hit that rebel
captain in the eye" Yes, sir" replied
John; (which eye shall hit"
Mr. Bradlaugh was once engaged In
n discussion with dissenting minister.
Bradlaugh insisted that the minister
should answer question by a simple
"xes" or NO" without any clrcumlo-
tNton, asserting that every question
could be replied to In that manner. The
reverend gentleman rose, and In quiet
manner said: Mr. Bradlaugh, will you
allow me to ask you question on those
terms?" Certainly" said Bradlaugh.
"Then, may l ask, have you given up
beating your wife, This was poser,
for If answered Yes" 1t would imply
that he had previously beaten her, and
II by NO" that he continued to do So
A delegation of preachers from Chi
cago once waited upon President Lin
coin to urge the issuance of the enamel
patton proclamation. The spokesman
urged the claim with ecclesiastical dig
nifty by saving: "The Lord sends this
commission to you, President Lincoln"
perhaps So" he replied, 'but isn't 1t
strange that He should send His mes
sage by way of Chicagow TO another
delegation urging immediate action, he
said: IF you call the tail Of sheep a
leg how many legs will the sheep
havey Five" replied the spokesman
NO" said the bothered President, ''lt
would only have four. Calling the tail
a leg wouldn't make 1t one When sick
with the variolold, he told the doctor
he was glad that now he had some
thing to give which the Office seekers
did not want"
During the Queens jubilee, the colo
NAL princes, officers and premiers were
received with cheers and especial hon
ors. On one occasion the streets We're
packed with spectators watching the
guests depart from some royal function
at buckingham Palace. The crowd re-
fused to move except when some Of the
Indian rajahs or Australian officers ap-
peared. when way was speedily open
ed for them. A carriage presently came
out of the gates in which were three or
four Americans. who had been guests
In the palace. Finding that the way
was completely blocked. one young fell
low among them shouted: Let us pass.
We, too, are colonials." The crowd d.
yided, and, as the carriage entered the
opening. he added: I'VE are the colo
malls who wouldn't let our mother spank
us" The crowd caught the joke, and
replied with laughter and applause.
Several clergymen boarded street
car in Boston one day. and one Of them
hearing that Wendell Phillips was In
the car. got up and asked the conductor
TO point him out. The conductor did so,
and the minister. going up to the orator.
said: You are Mr.. Phillips, am told y
'Yes, sir" Il should like to speak to
you about something. and trust, sir,
you will not be offended There is
no fear of It," was the sturdy answer.
and then the minister began to ask Mr..
Phillips earnestly why he persisted in
stirring up such an unfriendly agitation
in one part of the country about an evil