davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
Too Much For Belief.

One Of the brethren went to Knox
vile last August and fell by the way
side-he got drunk down there. After
several months the news of his fall
reached his rural home, and he was
brought up before the church.
Brethren" he said, II admit I got
drunk in Knoxville last August, but I
didn't mean to do it. How I have suf-
fered in my conscience and in my pride
God alone knows, and I trust he has
forgiven me. Brethren, I want you to
forgive me-. I didn't go to get drunk. 1
took a glass or two of light wine with
a friend, and later took q bottle of beer
on ice, and them
Brethren" interrupted a good old
brother in the amen corner. 81 would
be willing to forgive the brother for his
fall if he would make a clean breast Of
it and tell the truth. But l move we
turn him out for lying. He has lied to
us. Whoever heard Of ice in August"
And they turned him out because he
dared to say that he had seen ice in Au-
ust.-sweetwater (Tenn.) Telephone.
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
A Natural Mistake.

81 went to Paris" says an English
man, ''staying at the Hotel de Lille ct
d'Albion. Never having been before, I
lost my way and could not find my no.
tel again, because I neither spoke nor
understood French. Thinking some of
the people I met might understand
written English, I went into a station
er's shop and bought a large card, on
which I wrote, please tell me the way
to the Hotel de Lille ct d'Albion.'
"Again I sailed out, showing my
card to several, but still to no purpose.
At last a man read it and silently beck
oned me to follow him, which I did as
silently for a mile or more. Then he
pointed, still silently, to the sign of the
hotel, and when I cav it I broke the
by exclaiming, Thank you
What, he replied in amazement,
ARE you an Englishman7 So am I, but
I took you to be deaf and dumb"
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
A Good story Of 1.anaseer.

Landseer;; riding down Bond street,
saw the following notice in a picture
dealers shop window, IA Fine Land
seer on View Within" He went into
the shop and asked to see the zine
Landseer." The dealer, who did not
recognize him, proudly pointed out the
work. It was rather an early one. The
dealer was, u course, loud in Its praise.
"And how much do you want for
iti'' said Landseer.
1.-Two thousand guineas, sir" was
the reply.
1.-TWO thousand guineasi That seems
a long price for an early work"
II could not take a shilling less
said the dealer. Hes gone, sir"
touching his forehead significantly.
"He's ont Of his mind. He'u never
paint another"
IT'S he indeedf" said Landsesr. "I'm
very sorry to hear that" And as he
was coming away he noticed q large
picture by stanAsld. "Msy I ak what
you want for this stanaeld7"
"That. sir, II also z, 900 guineaa."
"Whati" said Landseer, touching
his forehead and initiating the dealers
gesture. us Btanaeld gone tool"
-. a--. #-H A. - +tFHa 1905 ar
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
soua ca.e, Of xle,tom..i.,

~~-N ~~~So
Here are some striking cases Of ksp-
tomania: A series Of thefts was COM
mitted in some Of the best houses In
New York. The culprit turned out to
be . young woman connected by birth
and marriage with the owners. There.
after, when from a household which she
had visited anything was missed, the
owner would go to her, kiss her and
ask It back. 1t was quito a family mat
ter.
At that time there was a journalist
about town who was both a social ia
vorite and an able man. He kept a
bachelor establishment in which 1t was
his an1iable habit to entertain those
who had entertained him. There of an
afternoon or Of an evening people would
gather and take back from his drawing
room things which he had taken from
theirs. There was never q word ex-
changed on the subject. Perfect oour-
tesy prevailed.
Then there was q young fellow whose
name figures in the early history Of the
United States. At q dinner which he
attended a ring handed about for IN
spection disappeared. So much was said
that later he returned 1t with a state
ment to the effect that It had caught In
the lining of his sleeve. A few days
afterward we heard Tslboys-dead
since. but not forgotten-ordering q
coat Of a tailor whom We patronized in
common and expressly STIMULATING that
it should not have that kind Of sleeve.
In each Of these instances tho case
belonged not to jurisprudence, but to
pathology. Kleptomania is . disease,
like Influenza, only, thank fortune, less
catching .-Collier's Weekly.
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
Iumert.lity Cranks.

Immortality C1anks.
Immortality Of fame is something de-
sired by many, but attained by few,
says d.. John Fiske in The Atlantic.
Physical immortality is something
which has hitherto been supposed to be
%inexorably denied to human beings.
The phase "All men are mortal" figures
in textbooks Of logic as the truest Of
truisms. But we have lately been as
sured that this is a mistake. It is only
an induction based upon simple emu
death will disprove It.
So at least was told by a very down.
right person who called on me some
years ago with a huge parcel of manu-
script. for which he wanted me to find
him a publisher. He had been cruelty
snubbed and i'll used, but truth would
surely prevail over bigotry, as in Call
lei's case. I took his address apd let
him leave his manuscript. Its recipe
for physical immortality, diluted
through 600 pages, was simply to learn
how to go without foodi
Usually such a regimen will kill you
by the fifth day, but If at that critical
moment, while at the point Of death,
you make a heroic effort and stay alive,
why, then you will have overcome the
king Of terriers once for all. I returned
the gentleman's manuscript with q
polite note, regretting that his line of
research was 80 remote from those to
which I was accustomed that I could
not give him intelligent aid.
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
Sharks Fear Noise.

The cowardliness Of sharks is well
known among men who have been
much to sea in southern waters infested
by man eaters. The fercest shark will
get out Of the sea way in a very great
hurry if the swimmer, noticing it's APP
proach, sets up a noisy splaehing. A
shark is in deadly fear Of any sort Of
living thing that spiashes in the water.
Among the south sea islands the ma
tives never go sea bathing alone, but
always in parties of half a dozen or so
in order that they may make the great
est hubbub in the water, and thus scare
the sharks away. Once in awhile a too
venturesome swimmer among these ma
,tives foolishly detaches himself from
his swimming party and momentarily
forgets to keep up his splashing. Then
there is a swish, and the man eater
comes up beneath him like a flash and
gobbles him.
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
A Curious Ashanti Custom.

A Curious Ashanti Custom.
When children are born in Ashanti,
they are at once rubbed all over with a
mixture of oil and red ocher, this being
repeated every two days. Their mouths
are washed with q fiery concoction in
which red pepper is the main ingredi-
ent. and a crier goes through the town
proclaiming the new arrival and claim
ing for it a name and a place among the
living. Some one else In a distant part
Of the village acknowledges the fact
and promises, on the part Of the people.
that the newborn babe shall be received
into the community. The t~ownspeople
then assemble in the streets, and the
baby is brought out and exposed to
view.
A basin1of water is provided, and the
headman, or chief Of the town, sprin-
kles water upon it. leaving it q name
and invoking q blessing upon it, such
as, for instance. that 1t may have health,
grow up to manhood or womanhood,
have a numerous progeny and possess
riches. Most Of those present follow the
example Of the headman. and the poor
child Is thoroughly drenched before the
ceremony is ended. Every one who par
ticipates in the ceremony pledges him
self to be a friend to the child.
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
WAR AND MATRlMoNY.
Cupid Is Much the Busiest In Time.
of Peace and Prosperity.

Cupid Is Much h Busiest In Times
were of a n Prosperity. &.
Mi. SnuvSaiis a close connection between
and was ,av.ithe price Of wheat, beef,
and the young IL! Ia - and ID other things
and drowned. Myetes Professor D. R.
OF ice, foated to anothvnerican Girls
seven hours wal rescue1 The Ladies'
coveET;s INA. GAS Jue prices Of these
commodities go up the number Of mar
riages goes down. From 1861 to 1854
times were good, food was cheap, and
the marriage rate in Massachusetts
went mp to 20 per 1. 600. Between 1866
and 1859 there was great depression Of
trade, and in 1868 the marriage rate
went down to II per 1000. The years
from 1878 to 1879 form another period
of depression. Factories were closed and
manufactures of every kind suffered
severely. In one year. at least, crops
were short and the prices Of food were
high. The result was Immediately seen
in matrimony, for in 1874 the number
Of marriages went down from Fl per
1000 Of the population to 10, and in
1876 and the following two years de-
clined to is per 1,O0O-a tremendous
falling off from 20 per /, 900, the figure
attained in 1864, which was the banner
ycar in~the state of Massachusetts for
matrimony.
"Almost as unfavorable as that Of
hard times is the influence Of war upon
matrimony. Whenever Mars is in the
ascendant Cupid's stock goes down.
During the civil war the number Of
rrassSTiiages in this country fell off from
~ 1000 of population to II per
point. o-mmediately after the civil
crossed so yapa, in 1856, the number
u east tper 1000. declining in 1869
BILE westne woman who is looking for a
.jyert neshas a better chance Of getting
one just before or just after a war than
at any other time"
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
Old Love ana New Repartee.

People + smiling at the little pas
sage at arms which took place between
two young women at a luncheon the
other day. One of the women is a beau
tiful blond, a bride, and she comes from
the south. She met the other woman
first at the aforesaid luncheon and, shak-
ing hands in her characteristic, cordial
way, said:
"I'm so glad to meet you'll You have
afforded me so much amusement"
Amusement ?" said the other.
ooh, yesl' went on the bride. ''I've
been through my husbands desk, and
I've read all his old love letters. Ifound
several very warm and affectionate let
tiers from you, and I enjoyed reading
them ever so much"
"I'm SO glad you enjoyed them!'
purred the other. "But do come to see
very Don I have the answers to all
those letters, and you might like to read
them. MI. K. s shelters are ever so much
warmer and more afectionate than
those I wrote him. I know you'll enjoy
reading them ever so much more than
you did mine. New York World.
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
The Sermon.


The caustic remarks of Justice Haw.
kins have not always been confined to
the bench. AT the opening of an assize
the chaplain preached what he con-
ceived to be a distinctly good sermon.
and he had the temerity to sound Mr.,
Justice Hawkins on the subject.
Ibid you approve of my sermon, my
lord2 he asked.
II remarked in your sermon, Mr..
Chaplain. was the prompt reply, 1.-TWO
things which, to be candid, I did not
approve of, and which 1 have, I am
glad to say, never remarked on a sim
liar occasion"
"They were, my lord9 was the anx-
ious question Of the preacher.
"The striking of the clock, answered
MI. Justice Hawkins, "twice, eir."-
Green Bag.
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
Test Of Nerve.

The midshipmsn had greater free
DOM under Captain Lyons, who, being
a thorough seaman. made that acquire
ment his arst object by placing his
young officers In positions Of respond.
bility. He made his mid6hipmen take
charge Of the watch night and day. I
had then been only four years In the
service. One night the weather looked
very threatening, and we had royals set.
so went down to the captain and asked
whether I should shorten sail He turn
ed round in his cot and said, "Wait till
it comea."
went on deck, and, knowing what
he would say IL any spars were lost, I
commenced taking in sail We were
struck by q squall 80 fierce that I had
to put the helm up and get the ship be-
fore the wind to get the canvas in.
When Captain Lyons came ON deck and
saw what I had done, he gave me great
credit. laughed and said he had tried
my nerve and sailoring. When I passed
for lieutenant. he gave me a certificate
which modesty forbids me to publish.-
"Life Of Vice Admiral Lord Lyons, " by
Captain Wilmot.
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
Making q Football.

Making q Football.
A football requires a vast amount Of
work before it is ready for kicking over
the gridiron.
The balls are covered with cowhide
which must have remained In the tar
pits q year or mor The hides ase from
2 to 8 feet long, 8 to z feet wide and
before splitting weigh from rs to 80
pounds. The skin has to be split into
two layers. The part to be used is
soaked for a few days In . cleansing
preparation. It is "aleeked" out to
make it firm. It is fed and cut into
shape. The strips are stitched. always
by hand. The bladder is or should be Of
the finest Para rubber, and undergoes
perhaps more processes than the cow
hide. 1t is as necessary to the football as
pneumatic tires are to the cycle; in fact,
even more so. since no effective substi-
tute for IN air bladder has yet been dis
covered. The bladder is Of immense
strength, and is fitted with a nozzle
Through which the air is injected.
These baadders are an expens;xsa item
md represent a considerable Bite ,,n Of
No cost Of manufn s~A when hex.
s,d 4hs 3o1 HAT do yoSusarn.
~ y. oorn.f
the sari -
n1v iwf
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
The Power of Money.

"What," said the visitor to the vii.
lage of his childhood, 'what's become
Of the one boy I hated-Willie Hawker,
the sneak2 In prison, no doubt. He bore
that fate on his face"
"Hush," said the old inhabitant.
"He is now Mr.. Hawker, the famous
millionaire"
"Whatl" cried the visitor. my dear
schoolfellow a millionaire I must call
upon him and revive old friendship"
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
The PoppinE Stone.

1.-THE popping stone marks the spot
where Sir Walter Scott asked MiM Car
penter to marry him. 1t Is situated In
the beautiful valley Of the IrthinS. ut
Gilsland, an inland watering place near
Carlisle. The popping stone Is visited
by many thousands during tho summer
months. and. it Is said, many q laggasd
lover has had his courage screwed up TO
popping point at this romantic spot.
In the immediate neighborhood may
ALEC be see "Mumps Ha," which Scott
immortalized In "Guy Mannering."
while q little farther a3eld the Roman
wall and Laner cost priory prove attrac.
tions to visitors to Gilsland.
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
Rice ~ . pstecter of TAieve..

fAAoe ~ . Ootecter OK
Not being able to trace anything in
connection with the loss of the 1000
rupees from the cash safe Of the Surati
Bazaar company, the directors have re-
sorted to astrology and finally sorcery.
Every employee Of the bazaar was CIV
en- a mouthful Of rice to eat which had
been previously put through some mag
ic~ preparation, the belief being that IL
tho peason who had taken the money
ate the rice some very great misfortune
would befall him. Il Is not recorded
that any Of the employees have yet met
with q disasteR.-Rangun Gazette.
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
PITTS

On retiring, and tomorrow your di.
gestive organs will be regulated and
you will be bright, active and ready
Tor any kind of work. This has
been the experience of others; II
will be yours. HOODS PILLS arc
sold by all medicine dealers. Is cts.
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
the blame on the brutality Of her hus

the blame on the brutality Of her hus-
band; if she is an old maid, she lays it
on her father, who was poor, and thus
forced her to work, which resulted in
a STOPPING figure and harsh features.
A man never has this experience. He
is at his worst at 16 and does not reach
his best until he is 26 to 80. By that
time he has acquired a little sense, and
never mistakes a compliment for the
truth.-Atchison Globe.
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15

We know that in thousands of cases
It has proved more than . blessing to
expectant mothers. It overcomes morn
ing sickness It relieves the sense of
tiGhtness. Headaches cease, and dan
ger from Swollen, Hard and Rising
Breasts is avoided. Labor itself is
shortened and shorn Of most Of the pain.
We know that many doctors recon-
mend It. and we know that multitudes
Of women 60 to tho drug stores and buy
It because they are sure their physicians
have no objections. We ask ! trial
just . fair test. There is no possible
chance of injury being the result, be-
cause Mothers Friend is scientific
ally compounded. It 10 sold At 81 4 bot
tie, and should be used during most Of
the period Of CESSATION, although great
relief is experienced if used only . short
time before childbirth. Send for our H.
lustrated book about Mothers Friend.
T1iE BRADFlELD REGULATOR co.
Att ANITA IA
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
with the Fading of Beauty.

with the Fading Of Beauty.
A 16-year-old girl imagines that she
is an angel, and eve gets v Q it.
After a woman gets old she thinks Of
how she was admired and compliment
ed in her youth and feels that some
great wrong was done her because she
did not remain a pretty as she was at
16. II she is married, she Is apt to lay
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
Person to BE Avoided.

A Person to BE Avoided.
"Palanquin is certainly a man to
avoid. People have told me stories
about him which are not edifying."
"Really1 You do well to tell me, for
I need not now give him back the
money he loaned me. Figaro.
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
They Have No Nerves,

they Have No Nerves.
A German tourist declares that what
principally Distinguishes Cinnamon
from us 10 their utter freedom from
nervousness No matter how much they
exert themselves, they always remain
phlegmatic. and they can sleep any.
where, In any position and in any
amount Of noise.
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
BIRD FLIGHT.

They flock upon the hazy mir,
Silent of note and purposeful of wing.
Nor gossip of the nesting timo
Disturbs their rhythmic, air born swing.
Across the dying fields light shadows fall
That. for a moments space, obscure the sun;
2hen sw!tt-a graceful trcop-they wing their
way!
Pursued ia haste by some belated one.
Now all the stubble land turns twilight gray
Album with mystic runes and harvest rills.
Above the watching world a tiny speck
Grows pale and fades against the southern
~GElizaheth Alden Curtis in Philistine.
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
5. s. s. Is the Only
~Remsdy Equal to this
Obstinate Disease.

- kdoWn to the seat OF the disease, thus permanently
of the faint
p serious consequences to which Scrofula surely leads
Md impress upon those afflicted with it the vital i'm
4etapce Of wasting no time upon treatment which can
e. 6 possibly effect a cure. In many cases where the wrong
sasWNellings have resulted, for which the doctors insist that
3 dangerous surgical operation is necessary.
had case of Scrofula broke out on the glands Of my neck,
which hadsto be Glanced and caused me much suffering. /
was treated for a long while, but the physicians were un-
ssble to cure me, and my condition was as bad as when I
began their treatment. Many blood remedies were used,
sbnt without effect. Some one ommend s. s. s.. and
ibegan to improve as soon as I had taken a few bottles.
Continuing the remedy, I was soon cured permanently,
have never had q sign Of the disease to return" Swi
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
An Insulti.g Proeranme.

A lady's maid who had been to a
servants ball came back before the
evening was half over and in tears.
Her mistress inquired the cause.
II was grossly insuiQe6, ma'am, by a
young man."
"Well. what did he dot"
"Well, ma'am, he asked me to go
down to supper with him. and when we
rad finished be said, Is your pro-
's[Ehwe fulli' "-tepdon Qhronicle.
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15

tube on the machine. A few turns Of
the hand wheel and the ball is inflated.
It 10 now laced up and handed over to
the shaper, who pats down any un-
evenneas in tho seams.
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
S. s. S. q THE q

@-is the only remedy which can promptly reach and cure obstinate, deep.seated
sh EN- di,s *aa;c.s ~ sy relying Il %s upon t. ia, and h not Iespmimenting with the various
ris g sns ct sS;seing ys = Of !. suffering assin. Which deh1 g5ssd Lal. but surely undermined
Srres crofuls, Eczema, Cancer, Rheumatism, Contagious Blood Poison, Bols,
#a Books on blood and skin diseases will be mailed free to sny addressb vv tvs
Swift Specific Company, Atlanta. Georgia.
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
n Word
to Doctors

We have the highest regard for the
medical profession. Our preparations
are not sold for the purpose of antagon-
izing them, but rather as an aid. We
lay it down IS an established truth that
informal remedies are positively injuri.
Gus to expectant mothers. The distress
and discomforts experienced during the
months preceding childbirth can be al
leviated only by external treatment-by
applying . lintment that softens and re.
lakes the over-strained muscles. We
make and sell such a liniment, COM
bining the Ingredients in a manner
hitherto unknown, aud call it
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
A SlaaAorous Tale.

A SlaA0oF0uD Tale.
"Briggs is awfully hoarse this morn
ing"
eyes You know how damp It was
last night Well, Briggs and his wife
btood on the corner waiting for q street
car, and Briggs wife started In to say
something, and Briggs stood there for
fully q halt hour with his mouth open
trying to get in q word edgewise.
That's where he got his hoarseness"-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15

The best watchmakers' oil comes from
the jaw Of the shark. About half a pint
Ia found in each shark.
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
Burning Heretics.

The following items, copied from the
municipal records Of Canterbury by
The Windsor Magazine, show that the
burning of heretics in 1886 (the time
Of the genial King Henry WIZ was an
inexpensive amusement:
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
Tox1IAk1f

If your liver is out Of order, causing
Biliousness, Sick Headache, Heart
burn, or Constipation, take dose of
The Dickinson press., 1899-04-15
ONLY ONE CURE
FOR SCR0FULA,

There are dozens of remedies recommended for
3%crofula, some of them no doubt being able to
The only. remedy which completely cures it.
3%crofula is one of the most obstinate, deep-seated
blood diseases, and is beyond the reach of the
many so-called purifiers and tonics because some-
hing more than q mere tonic is required. SIS s.
Q, and never fails to cure Scrofula, because it
disease, thus permanently eliminating every
Albuquerque daily citizen. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1895-1903, 1899-11-11
CARLSBAD.

From the Current 'ifl u
In. Dunn left a sample OF mohair at
this onics during the week, having Just
sheared his dock OF Angorss.
Dick Wicker resigned his Job as ditch
man for the town and the bitches will be
allowed to take care OF themselves for
the winter.
WIN stone and Miss Rosa McNaIr were
united In marriage Sunday evening, De.
tober 30, 1888, at o o'clock, at thu resi-
kence Of Mr.. and Mrs. W. II. Bigger, Rev.
j. * sAwiers off ,iating. Only a few
Intimate friends were present the we'd
dinG being q very quiet one.
i.symOnd Livingston who has been al
Me'liilln on the Segrist ranch prepar.
ing to go on the round up, was taken ser
iously Ill with fever and brought down
on the train. He Is doing we'll at the
home OF &. NJ Pendlston.
Kd. WOerner returned from a trim TO
Louisville, Ky. where he spent the past
month. tie was accompanied home BY
his brother John and his mother, who
will remain for some weeks on a visit 10
Mr.. and Mrs. win WOerner.
Aubrey Gist shipped in nine beautiful
AngOra billies from Harris Il Baylor's
thoroughbred fock at Uyalde, Texas.
The blllies have arrived and ara beauties.
Mr. 6isl will take the goats over TO his
ranch at sitting Bull In Last Chance,