Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-05-17
cyan Star" Scintilltes From
Mine Creek.

Mr.. EDITOR: We observe that
Grip Van Winkle" has aroused
from his long slumber, and We
write to celebrate the occasion.
We are unable to understand
how rip" has managed to sleep
under such inauspicious circum-
stances, for the self-same law that
forbids infants to sleep at night
has appointed little Grip" 10 keep
perpetual virgils at the slumbers
of Grip" the elder.
But if Grip has de6ed
all this and slept, will some one
remind him of his political duties,
and tell him how to vote now?
Many changes have taken place in
this nation since Ri p" fell asleep.
He should be informed that we
have had war with Spain, and
that we cleaned her up on short
notice. This little war didn't cost
as much, rip" only six hundred
million dollars, more or less. We,
the poor people, donated these few
dolla for the liberation of the
Cubans, and also, we desired that
some of our politicians might by
this small sacrifice be enabled to
secure positions down in Cuba to
teach the people OF Cuba how to
enjoy liberty.
Since we whipped Spain we have
become a great and powerful ma
ton. We have decided to sacrifice
personal liberty in order to mag
rify ourselves as a bation. We are
now building great navy. We
shall also, in the future. maintain
a large standing army. This will
be a little expensive, but we are a
rich people, and few cents on
each dollars worth of many kinds
of goods, we shall never feel. On
tobacco, the revenue will not be
mere than ten or twelve cents Il
pound.
We are now engaged, rip" in
the subjugation of the Philippine
islands. If you can remember be-
fore you slept, you may recall the
fact that these islands are some
ten Or twelve thousand miles from
this country. We are now shoot
ing our religion and civilization
into those people over there right
along, and we are told by the press
Our Washington government viii
not inform us--that where lead
will not be effective we burn their
houses and kill their women and
children. In this way we hope to
accomplish for the cause of Christ
and the spread of civilization a
vast deal.
In order, "Rip," that all these
blessings may continue you should
vote for the re election of the pres
ent administration, for this admin
istration are the promoters of the
blessed principle of Imperialism
on this continent. They want q
: strong centralized government,
protected by big navy and large
army. These will cram lead ball
into the mouths of all tickle mind.
ed people who dare openly to op-
pose our policy.
: Lastly, GRIP" we are now con.
templating the overthrow of Ger.
many. We don't take any ''sassi'
ness' now. We are too strong fol
that. So take good care of "little
Rip" Let him grow and gel
strength, we may need him to helE
"thrash" Europe.
Am sorry to state that "littlt
Van" has not made his advent YET
Old Van has been so unfortunate
as not to be able to put up argu
ment sufficient to convince any O.
the fair sex that they would dt
we'll to give him a lift from ths
slough of celibacy. But he hopes
> to be effective IN Els argument II
the near future.
, People and things keep a serene
quiet here, and listen while tht
, mocking bird p)urs forth his efful
gent strains DER hill and dale. w
steer our invincible bark a-dowr
the stream of time and fear tt
meet the breakers. We hope eacf
, day that the next may bring vi
safe to the calm placid waters ot
u1 ,nolested life, but the day never
dawns for the realization of oul
} hopes.
Goodbye, Grip" We wish you 6