The Saint Paul globe., 1899-03-19
AGUINALDO'S MISTAKE.

AGUINALDO'S MISTAKE.
well, SIR said Mr.. Dooley; sit looks now
as if they was nothing left for me young
frind Aggynadoo to do but time Like as not
a year from now he'll be in jail, like Napo-
leon, the, Impror iv tn F'r-rinch, was In his
day, an Mike the Burglar an other pathrltes.
That's what comes iv bein' pathrlte too
long. 'Tis a good job whin they'se naWthing
else to do, but It's not tn thing to wurruk
overtime at. 'Tis sort iv out-iv-dure spoort
that ye shud engage in durin' the summer
vacation, but whin a man carries it on dur
in business hours people begin to get down
on him, an after while they're ready to
hang him to get him out iv tn way AS
Hogan says Th' las thing that happens to
d pathrite he's scoundhrel.'
Las summer there wasn't warmer path
rite anywhere in our imperial domlnions thin
this same Aggynaldoo 1 was with him Sc
silf Says l.: 'They'se a good coon, l says.
He'll help us FIR to make tn Philippians in
dipinant on Us FIR support 1 says; an whin
tn bessns iv civilization has been eXtinded
to his beloved country an, l says, they put
up intarnal rivinue offices an postoffices, l
says we'll give him d good job as a letter
carrier 1 says, where he won't have amy
thing to do / says, but walk l says.
An so tn Consul at Ding Dong tn man
that r-run that ind v tn war, he says to
Aggynaldoo. Co. he says, where glory waits
ye' he says. Go an sthrike blow he says,
fir y're counthry,' he says. Co. he says,
I'll stay but you go, he says. They'se naw
thin in sthaytn' an We might get hold iv a
turarnical watch pocketbook down be-
yant,' he says An off wint tn brave path
rite to do his jooty He done it, too. Whin
Cousin George was pastin tn former hated
CASTLES who was it stood on tn shore shoot
in his bow an arrow into tn sky but Aggyn-
aidoo? Whin me frind Gin'ral Merritt was
ladin' a gallant charge again blank cart
redges who was it Hanged him noble ARMY
iv pathries behind him f'r tn sea but Aggyn-
aldoo? He was good man thin-a good
noisy man.
knock off. He didn't hear tn wurruk bell
calm him to come in firm playin' ball an
get down to business. Says me Cousin
George: 'Aggynaldoo, me buck he says. tn
war is over he says, an we've settled down
to tn OF game he says. They're no more
heroes All iv thin has gone to wurruk FIR
tn magazines. They're no more pathries,' he
says. They've got jobs as gov'nors or ar-re
lookin' FIR thin anything else, he says
All th' prom mint saviors iv their country
he says, but mesilf he says, is busy pre-
psrn' their defnce, he says. L have no de-
fince,' he says, but I'm where they cant
the job an if ye don't come in an jine tn
tillin masses iv wage wurrukers, he says 'ye
won't even have tn CT edit iv bein' licked in
a gloryous vichtry, he says. so to tn wood
pile with ye,' he says, 'f'r We can't go. on
cillybratin' tn Foorth iv July without ben'
took up f'r disordhly conduct he says.
"An Aggynaldoo doesn't understand it. An
he gathers his archery club ar-round him an
says he: Fellow pathrites he says, we've
been betrayed he says. We've been sold
out without he says, gettin' tn usual COM
mission he says. We're still heroes he
saws am our pitchers is in tn pa-apers,' he
says. Go in he says, an sthrike a blow at
th' gay decevers, he says. I'll sell yeer lives
DEAR. he says. An tn archery club wint in.
Th pathrtes went up again a band iv Kan
sas sojers that was Wanst heroes befure they
learned tn ay-foot-sthraw-foot, an is now
! arnin' tn wages iv a good harvest hand all
tn year ar-round an d rather fight than ate
th ARMY beef, an we know what happened.
Some iv tn poor dvvles iv heroes is liberated
firm tn cares iv life, an tn r-rest iv thin is
UP in threes an wIshin they was home smok-
in a good seegar with mother.
"An' all this because Aggynaldoo didn't
! near tn whistle blow. He thought tn boom
was still on in tn he1U business If he'd come
in ye'd be hearin' that James Hatch Aggyn-
aldoo'd been spp'inted foorth-class postmas-
ter at Hootchy Kootchy, but now tn mex
We know iv himl be on tn blotter at tn
polls station: James Haitch carryin' con-
cealed weepins an raysissin' an officer
Pathritism always dies whin ye establish a
polls foorce."
We'll" said Mr.. Hennessy; I'm kind iv
sorry FIR tn la-ads with tn bows an arrows
Maybe they think they're pathries."
'Dvvle th' bit iv difference it makes what
they think, so long as we don't think So -
said Mr.. Dooey. Its what Father Kelly
! calls case iv mayhem ct chew 'em. That's
Latin, Hinnissy, an it names what's wan
mans food is another mans pizen."-Chicaf
J Muualal.