The times., 1899-07-30
THE FAITHFUL WAITING MAN,
Being the snd Parable of the Resur-
rection Which Failed.

l
Now in the days when the war of the
Americanites and the Hispanolites had
ended and the camps were filled with the
dead, it came to pass that the people of the
land of America were not pleased with the
war and gruinbled much, saying, Behold.
the battles were fought in other lands yet
our camps are filled with the dead and our
| halls have been turned into pension
places" And they grew exceeding sore
at the Scribe of the War, who was of the
| tribe of Michigonites, and demanded that
he give account OF his doings.
| And Hark Mamma. the Tetrarch, ruled
| over the land and hearing the cry OF the
people he spoke. saying, Behold, l shall
see to it that all is given account for and
shall make board which shall take ac-
! count" Now Hark Mamma being of the
I tribe of 0hioites, was exceeding foxy and
| he called the Scribe of the War unto him
and related all that he had spoken And
he ordered that the Scribe of the War go
| out among his friends and choose certain
among them who might not be corrupted
by the cry of the people And he bade that
| these be made into the Board of Beef which
was to make investigation into the Scribe
of the War.
| And the Scribe of the War went out
among his friends and chose certain among
them who cried aloud. saying, Verify, we
are deaf and dumb. oh, Scribe. and if It be
thy will we are also blind And the
Scribe answered and said unto them. 1T
is well and do thou follow my curves. For
when | shall wigwag thus. thou art blind:
and when l wigwag thus thou art also deaf;
and again when / wigwag thus. thou art
indeed dumb" And the Board OF Beef
studied these things and took counsel and
| were prepared.
| And the Scribe OF the War went forth to
seek scribe who was to be Scribe of the
Board of Beef and who was to take upon
| parchment those things which were nit
and who was to forget to take upon parch-
-ment those things which were it. And
| it came that his eye fell upon a certain
| man who dwelt in the District called Co
| lumbia, and who wrote upon parchment the
! good deeds which his masters had left un-
| done, that the people might read. And
this scribe was called Scribeman, because
| that he did walt much and was a waiting
man and Chat because he was exceeding
patient and weighed great weight even
unto many barleycorns. And his salary
was great because of his weight and his
| patience. And the Scribe of the War hear
| ing that Scribeman had made comfort for
the Hispanolites by his writings and de-
sired silver for his writings, approached
him. saying, Woe. woe, woe. for it is said
| that the Scribe of the War has done
wrong" And Scribeman waited and an
swered and said unto him. BE of good
cheer, for the Scribe OF the War can do no
wrong and it shall be so written And
| they fell upon one another's necks and
wept tears Of joy And Scribeman depart
ed with many pieces of silver beneath his
raiment
Now when the Board of Beef had gath
cred many times and the people knew not
what had been done. save that the Scribe
| of the War was a just man and all others
were liars. it was found that Scribeman
waited well and was a faithful servant and
loved his master. And the Scribe of the
| War spake unto him, saying well done,
/ thou good and faithful fakir Thou hast
lied faithful in few things and l will make
! you liar of many things" And Scribeman
! waited and kissed the boracc tears from
the cheeks Of his master and answered,
| saying, Thy sins are my sins and thy
salary is my salary" And when they had
cornted the profits from a contract they
were comforted.
But it came to pass that while the Board
% I,.s
! doing that which was wigwagged by the
Scribe of War. there came certain men
! out of the land of Egypt WHO were of the
tribe of Packers. And these men were
versed in the arts of embalming and of
making mummies. And they brought with
| them many fiagons of acid and many skins
of beef and cried aloud, saying. Who will
buy of our beef, for it is good. being en-
balmed. and the same which we fed to the
warriors in the war" And some purchased
of the beef and ate and lay sick unto death.
And those who cast out devils were called
and they cast from the stomachs OF those
who had eaten many mummies and other
things of the land of Egypt. And the peo-
pie had wrath and seized the Packers and
would cruelty them but that they cried
| in fear, saying: 1T is not who gave the
beef to the warriors. 1t was the Scribe OF
the War who ordered it" And the peo>
pie departed unto the halls where sat the
Board OF Beef and demanded that the Scribe
of the War be given into their hands. And
Hark Mamma theTetrarch, refused them.
saying: Don't crowd, for verify will We
fix his clock ourselves" But the hours
passed and the Scribe of the War grew
more bold and he strutted about, saying
Who is 1t that can lay hands on me, Veri-
ly my clock shall run forever" And
Scribeman, his waiting man. licked his
sandals in joy and said, Behold, thou art
King, oh master. Thou art of the army
and dost wear medals Verify, thy pull is
as great as the heavens, and thou canst
do no wrong"
And the Scribe OF the War was sweIled
up like unto tin of army beef And
he placed his medals upon his breast, for
he had repown as one who could run with
exceeding great speed. But when he pass
ed upon the highway the people cried out
and beat their cymbals. crying Down
with the embalmed." And being swelled
in his pride he asked his waiting man.
Scribeman. saying What is this that they
cry" And Scrbeman licked his masters
hands and answered, saying. Verify, they
cry Hail to the Chief oh my master, and
1t shall so be written" And the Scribe OF
the War answered and said, 1T is indeed
well. as l feared something about beef
But Hark Mamma. fearing the wrath OF
the people, gathered them together and
spake with a loud voice, saying: Verify
l say unto you that have no blame The
Scribe of War is guilty. and if ye will il
he shall be made to eat of the beef which