Daily inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1881-1901, 1899-12-12
Mr.. DO0LEY'S VIEWS.

began Mr.. Dooley.
II thought he was we're Cousin
George Mr.. Hennessy interrupted.
Il thought he was" said Mr.. Dooley,
but on lookin' closer at his features an
r-readin' what TIL pa-apers says about
him. l an convinced tina l was wrong.
Oh, he may be sicond cousin iv me Aunt
Judy. I'll not say he amt. There was
u poor lot. all iv thin. But l ave no
close r%ilitiyes in this country. 'Tis a
way l have iv savin' a little money. I'm
like the good an gr-ratetul American
people: TIL further ye stay way firm
thin tn more they like We. Sicond-
cousin-iV-me-Aunt George made a mis-
take comm home, or if he did come
home he %ouSht've Investigated his well
come an see that it wasn't mined. A
man cud stand up all day an lave
Pecky Mountjoy whale away at i'm. but
t affection iv TIL American people is al
ways aimed thlue an is invariably
fatal.
Nh la-ad Dougherty was in to-day,
an he expressed tn feelin's iv thisg CRATE
full raypublic. He says, says he: This
fellow Dewey amt what / thought he
was he says. 4 thought he was a good.
broad, LIBERAL man, IN it turns out he's
a cheap skate he says. We made too
much fuss over him. he says. TO think
he says, 'iv i'm. takin' tn house we give
'AiA'' oi \ oNSI ~ liz w l. liz
says. r scand'lous,' he says. How
much did We con-thribute?' says 1. Il
didn't give annything,' he says. TIL col
lector didn't come around an I'm glad
now L hung on to me conn., he says.
Well says /. I appreciate ye'er feel
IN S, / says 'Ye agree with tn other
subscribers ! says. But Ive med up
me mind not to lave annywan talk to
me about Dewey l says, unless l says,
he subscribed tn maximum amount iv
tn subscription. ] says, 'thirty-eight
cints,' l say SO I'll thank We to tip
toe out | says, 'befure l give we a cor
rect Imitation iv Dewey an Mountjoy
at tn battle iv Manila l says. An he
wint away.
TT throuble with Dewey is he was so
long away he lost his understanding iv
tn thrue feelin' iV tn American people.
George r-read tn newspapers, an he says
to himself: Be hivins, they think well
" what | done. i guess I'll put a shirt
IN me trunk an go home, FIR We see it's
not out here, an ivrybody'H be glad fr
to see me, he says. An he come along,
an New York was r-ready FIR him. TIL
business in neckties had been poor that
summer. an they was necessity for pull
in it together, an they give George a
welcome an invited his admirers firm
tn country to come in an buy some
thin FIR tn little vans at home. An he
r-rode up Fifth venue between smilin'
'oNo ~ liot'I9 dI uIluS SLOIeS, an I'M
dollar boxes an fifty cine seats. an he
says to himself: Holy shmoke, if Agu-
lnaldo cud Only see me now An he was
proud an happy, an he says: 'Raypub-
lies ar-re not always ungrateful.' An
they amt. Only whin they give We much
gratichood We want to freeze some iv it
or it won't keep.
tbs unsafe for amy man alive to re-.
ceive tn kind wurruds that ought to be
said only iv tn dead. AS long as George
was a lithograph iv himself in a saloon
window he was all Fright. Whin people
saw he cud set in a city hall hack without
flowers CROWN in it an they cud look at
him without smoked glasses they begin
to weaken their devotion. "Twuld've
been tn same, almost, if he'd married d
Presbyterian, an hadn't look much like
a hero say wan man. 4 shud say not
says another. He looks like anybody
else He amt a hero says another.
Why, anybody cud've done what he
did. / got an eisht-year old boy, an if
he couldn't take a base ball club nd go
in an bate that Spanish fleet into junk in
twinty minyits I'd call him Alger an
thrade him off f'r a bicycle he says. 4
guess that's Fright. They say he was a
purity tough man before he left Washing
tom 'Shure he was. Why, ~so-an'-so-
.an'-so-an'-so.' 'Ye don't tell me- Is
there anything in that shtory about his
beatin' his poor OF aunt an her iliven
childher out iv four dollars?' 1 guess
that's straight. We can tell be tn looks
iv him he's a mean man. l niver see a
man with suuintin' eyes an white hair
that wudden't rob a church, He's a
cow'rd, too. Why. he r-run away at
tn battle iv Manila. Ivrybody knows it.
l r-read what Joe What's-His-Nam
wrote-th' br-rave correspondent. He
says this Teller was sick at his stummicl<
an retired bcfure tn Spanish fire. Why,
what'd he nave to fight but a lot iv OF
rowfboats? A good with sharp
teeth cud've bit his way through tn
whole Spanish fleet. An he r-run away.
7 tell We. it makes me tired to think iv
tn way we abused tn S~panyards not
long ago. Why, say. they done a lot
betther thin his fellow Dewey. with his
40 or SO men-iv-war an this gran nation
miles away, standin' shoulder to shoulder
at his back. They niver tur-rned over
their property to their wives Yes
says wan man, Dewey was a cow'rd.
Let's go an stone his house. No gays
tn crowd. he might come out. Let's go
down to tn v'riety show an hiss his
pitcher in tn kinetoscope.' Well"
We'll WHAT" demanded Mr.. Hen
messy.
WELL Mr.. Dooley continued, II was
on'y goin' to say. Hinnissy, that in spite
iv me hatred iv George as a mana Var
ricd man-an me con-timpt fr his quail
ties as a fighter, in spite iv tn chickens
he has stole an tn notes he has forged
an tn homes he has rooned. if he was
to come %r-runnin' up Archey road, as he
might, pursooed by ladies an sintlemen
an tn palajeem iv our liberties peltin'
hin with rotten eggs an oil cats, l open
the dure FIR HIM, an Whin he come in I'd
nut me fut behind it an I'd say to til
grateful people: 'F'elloe-citizens,' I'd say.
lave us I'd say. They'se another hero
down in Halsted sthreet that's been
married. &c down an shivaree him..
An you, me thrusted colleagues iv
tn press. dispense to yo'er hOmeS.,'
ia say. TIL k~eyholes is closed FIR TIL