Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-05-18
The Bowsers Get Sick.

When Mr.. B0WSer came nome the
other evening and found his wife "
ing on the loung. with a bandage
around her head, he was sorry for her,
of course-just as sorry as the average
husband. And, ike the average hus-
band, he stood and glared at her for
a momeut and then blurted out
well, I've been looking for it
every day for year past, and its here
at last Finally got yourself fiat
down, eh ?"
Its nothing, she family replied.
"Oh it isn't2 Nothing for a wife
to flop down and upset the whole
house, I suppose Well, I've been
looking for some sort of racket, so
I'm not surprised. Mrs. Bowser, its
a wonder to me that you or any 9TH
er woman in this town is out of her
coffin"
"It's only-on,y headache, dear
eyes, only headache, but what do
headaches lead to- If you are not
a dead woman b.tor. Saturday night
YOU may consider yourself lucky.
Didn't I warn you not to sit IN a
draught-not to wear thin shoes
not to eat too much truck Little
good it does to talk to a woman.
She'd go her own way if she knew
that it must end in a broken neck. II
men were as reckless as your sex the
country would go to the dogs
zone can't help feeling bad oc-
casionally, she replied as she got up
to wet the bandage around her head.
ooh, they can't, eh2 Mrs. Bow
ser, look at me When am ! ever
ailing2 When do you hear me COM
plain Never And why is it? Be-
cause, Madame-because l don't cram
my stomach with watermelon, butter
milk, gumdrops, custard pie, sweet
cake, ginger ale, and all that. Be
cause l don't 60 round with my feet
sopping wet. Because I know enough
to come in when it rains Because
exercise a little common sense in TAX
ing care Of myself
81 think III be better by morning,
she replied.
81 hope SO, and I hope this will be
lesson to you for the future. | tell
you that no woman can slosh around
the way most of you do and live out
half her days. How many cocoanuts
and green apples and bananas did you
eat to-day?'
"Don t be foolish, Mr.. Bowser p
But forty-eight hours later the ta-
bles were turned. Nh. Bowser came
scuaiug along home with his should
ers bumped up and his face the color
Of -four, and it was plain to see that
something had happened.
What's the natter" asked Mrs.
Bowser as soon as he stepped into the
hall.
"Got a sore throat and feel fever
ish. Il think I am going to be
sick I"
Everything about the house was or
dered to 90 on tiptoe, and even the
cat was put out and the clock stopped.
After his throat had been tied up, his
shoes taken of and a quilt thrown
over him, Mr.. Bowser plaintiyely IN
quired
Don't you think you'd better send
for DOCTOR"
"Not just yet, dear. I don't think
it's serious"
"Ah' how T sufar-how I suffer 20
he groaned. you may be widow
before the week Is out. hope you
will always be kind to our child. /
have tried to be a good husband, and
and
Mrs. Bowser laid her hand on his
forehead and the tears came to BIS
eyes with a food and he broke down
and sobbed like a BOBBY. She sat
down and held bis hands until be
finally fell asleep, aud though che
might have charged him with doing a
score Of imprudent things to bring on
his illness she didn't mention a single
one. After a couple Of hours he
woke up feeling better, but he wanted
tea, toast and jelly, and sympathy
and was as petulant as a baby until
put to bed. He was a new man, how
ever, when he woke up next morning
and when she asked after his throat
he replied:
"Throat-humpl Mrs- Bowser, fol
about FIVE hours yesterday | was hov-
sring between life and death. Had II
been you, you would have died ter
times over, but grit pulled m'
through T.
GEH~;4 - sL. orari.d