New-York tribune., 1899-01-15
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

A soldier Of the 18Th Minnesota sends home this
description of Agunaldo. He Is quite an ordi-
nary looking Filipino small smooth -shaven, wears
his hair pompadour about six inches long and IS
very badly sma pox marked. lie was dressed In
plain black clothes, and did not impress very
much. He had of the biggest Filipinos l have
seen standing on each side OF the door with axes
those long poleaxes like they used in the Middle
Ages They dressed In white trousers, red
coats and brass buttons. and are his personal
guard"
mo. thank goodness he isn't calling here any
so Of bsr the ey r believe Ii that hat
wSq5n @ I'D Il take hnt Bon was wea
As shining example Of what a wooden automaton
called here the other evening as he had been doing
for some time. and | thought | would see II
Se the conyersaton arc around to Hobson and asked him
If he wouldn't IKE chance to sqHai , HG0SSns EoIn
face just think OF his taking that boat in there
nd knF X ny %h0q N his Gses sae ana at e
clock and slowly but positively froze that young
hs4 SSn II es e any Se he se
Press.
An old gravedlgger who lived In a village a, the
foot OF the Grampians day complaining
about the duness OF times Man. John. is trade
that bad wi ye?" said a sympathzing neghbor.
Bad" returned John, bringing his staff down with
an impatient gesture. Il havena buried levin
sowl this weeks.
Appreciation.-"I wish" said Colonel stllwell. of
Kentucky very grayely that you would con-
tradct all this nonsense about my having settled
and unreasoning aversion TO water. Water - A
great institution. sir"
'Of course. the remarks you allude to are in
tended mercy as good -natured exaggeration"
''Of course. But | don't want water mentioned
disrespectfully In my presence ! understand that
the hre-engines recently checked the flames In
distiery where thousands of barrels OF liquor were
in danger Of being consumed "-(Washington star
Some boys in an English school were requested to
write short letter TO the master. One youngster
added a p g. which ran: please excuse bad
r,ting and spelling as avent been taut any better.
When Freedom from Fl MOTO's height
ihe various brass bands In attendance played "El
Psq nssSs, The SY hes 4hHx e NSyw Ny tq s
ragme g as"et Melodies. lies and Therein Be a Hot Time
And Castellanos tore his hair.
A correspondent OF THE Spectator fhus tells
how a man addicted to the splitting habit was
cured "The captain OF an Atlantic steamship was
at loss how 10 induce a passenger TO desist from
the filthy habit OF splitting on deck. Among the
passengers was gentleman well known In To-
ronto forty years ago. who undertook to stop him
II a auartermaster placed at his disposal. The
captain closed with the offer. and the man was d.
rected TO fetch n bucket OF water and mop, and
to follow the offender up and down the deck. The
result was completely satisfactory
Three women sat up on n Utah roof
And watched the smoke the train sped on;
Each thought of the man who was rushns aooi;
And the cheeks OF the watchers were faded ana
For man will love and women are blind.
And the with three wives leaves II good oeai
When he's Off to Washington roaming!
Three women packed up all their biggest grips
And took the train the sun Went down;
Twelve children stood watching them out OF the
!
And wives when they're Jealous Will go long
Alas. for the much married Mormon!
cleveland Plain Dealer.
former Lord Mayor Of London. Sir William Cur
It's was extremely fond OF the expressions This
here" and THAT there" fact which prompted
wag to suggest this epitaph for him:
Here lies William Curtis, our worthy Lord Mayor,
Who has left this here world and gone 10 that
there"
The origin Of the three RS" is attributed TO Sir
william who proposed them OF the toasts
AT q banquet Whereupon another gentleman at the
dinner proposed the three Cs. Curtis. King. and
Constitution
Unhopeful-I wonder II satisfactory solution
Of the Philippine question will be discovered" re-
marked the unbiased patriot 40, .-,,
1t has been discovered, replied tne lriehu, VINO
is always arguing on politics but ne, ne aGdea, ora
wss sTR than usas in sns the to
pay attention 10 my discovery wv Washington star
Stanley Richmond. well-known Free Mason. mas
COMPLIED n list OF famous Americans belonging to
the fraternity which includes all but four or the
s,eners Of the Declaration OF Independence. Wash
ington Warren Revere. Franklin, Steuben. Jack
son. Putnam. Lafayette. Randolph and many others
OF n later day.
Quimby-Dont YOU think Medley carries his anti
Imperialism rather far -.
Ouimby-He stopped his daughter singing Up In
a Balloon" because It smacks OF expansion.-tBos-
ton Transcript.