The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1899-10-22
VALUE OF A GOOD FRONT.
IN TANK No. II DTSCOURsES ON KEEr-
ING UP APPEIRANChS.

Clean Clothes He Lived High in spokane
Even Dnzzled ths Dealer at n Faro Bank
Pulled Out of n bad Hole in Omaha.
We often revert in these proceedings" said
Ex.Tank No, II Of the Harlem Club Of Former
Alcoholic Dcgencrates, twisting his three stone
diamond ring with a prcoccuped air, to the in.
calculable value-p particularly TO persons who
are wont TO become insolNcnt at the wndup OF
tumultuous personally conducted carniNnls Of
joy--of that seemliness in rament and general
appearance which is tec hnically known as front.
, A suddenly arrested. punctured jag that dis
covers you trontess al the awakening is one Of
/ LIES tragedies. Frontless men do win out OF
! course we all know that but the progress Of tho
frontless win.out IL craggy and disheartening.
! The frontless man is the recipient Of the dead
face otherwise the cold storage countenance, until
he is sorcly tempted 10 hold up the clothing store
dummies that flap their arms, beckoningly, on
the sidewalks before the windows. II is simply
trite to say that front is Of value to the busted
man. It's his whole stock In trade. It's the
complete works. It's the second wheel to sulky.
81 never in my life, at any time, or anywhere,
| landed without a front. | have made meal of
| immature turnips handd dug, and have been
| reduced TO the necessity Of absorbing none but
the hrce-ccnt article OF cochneal fluid, compounded
| chiefly Of sweet chewing tobacco and wood alcO-
! hol and dipped from a barrel by means Of n tin
| cup But always gave ear unto the foxy whis-
! per that buzzed beneath my chapcau the advice,
| Keep up your 'front.' | have got up at dawn
| in the morning when needed about three so bad
| that could hear iaguars baying al the morning
! star; but I've erased tho hair from my face with
| a razor that could hardly hold in my mtt and
| changed the linen and rubbed off the Shoes and
! brushed off the toys, and linked the hat when II
! needed IL, before going forth after those sorely
! required hie-savers. Because why? Because
| | always felt and knew that, without a 'front.' a
man might Just as well resign himself to sobriety
and to featureess, ploddng days; that hes de
ceased one; and that the cordial paw and tho
wrcathed smile Of men are not for him Your
! front may be naught but white sepulchre--
| but hang on 10 IT, Go down the bay and procure
! suit hat Shoes collar, cuffs, and necktie the
/ complete rig while you wat-for So. 90. and blow
| in the other dime for carnauon for your button
! hule--but make the stab for the front And
! when you land again on top OF the tally-ho, with
/ horns ALLOWING corks h.popping, and the sun
, a-shining both sides OF the road make up your
! mind that the next time you get ditched you'll
stick TO your front like a flea TO French poodle
| that you'll spout the watch and the ring and the
| PIN II it comes to that but cling TO the front
| making toys: thus yOu'~---
| Is Seventeen aware that he Is addressing an
! aggregation Of EX-Tanks. who have left all OF
these things behind" interrupted EN-Tark No
| T. the parliamcntaria and kicker, -or has nc
| tranced himself back to his own mixed ale period
so that he thinks he spelling advice for a bunch
| Of active non-extnct Tanks who've"--
| THE Sweep-Up will place Seven in the sweat
box and keep him there with the full head OF steam
turned on for thrty-hve minutes" said the Chief
E1Tank, rising and irownins heavily. Seven
| teen. you may proceed"
| When the pariamentarian and kicker had
been dragged from the room in accordance with
frequent non-avaing threats that the same would
happen to him II he did not Delay his interruptions
and securely locked In the folding steam bath,
! Ex-Tank No. II proceeded:
well, ! was going to toss You few IN illustra-
ton Of how nestimaby valuable my doCged
adhesion TO a front has been on few occasions.
, Take a hard game that buckcd into once out
in Spokane, for example | might have been
made Ia break enough rock 10 macadamizo two
miles Of Spokane road II hadn't dropped anchor
there with a front had been INDUCING In two
months Of wooze and sog and rummy sub-con-
scious pocsy in st Paul, and that's where left
my gig-lamps and everything else but the front
chung to the gripful Of toys, az well as those |
/ had on, when needed and needed bad. the moist
things could have traded them for got a ride
out Of ST Paul on mail train. 1t was against
regulations but the railway postal clerk who
offered me the ride I'd known him back this
way took a chance. II was arranged that
should duck beneath pile Of empty mail bags
In corner Of the car should any inspector hop
aboard along the route; but this didn't happen
/ and had a pretty comfortable ride, We were
headed West and my friend the clerk was going
rs far as Spokane; and SO was l, OF course, not,
rs / say having the cash wherewith to proceed
any farther. As far as clothes went | looked
like ready money. and my grip was stuffed full
ali infn Srr.
kane It was about o'clock in the evening
gave myself the busting and the prnping OF my
life, and my friend the clerk passed me one
you can hurl EN- bigger bluff with that
| than I could with thousand he said, natter-
inrly, and bowed my thanks shook him cor
daily by the hand, and left the train / stepped
into the bus OF the best hotel in Spokane and
was driven thereto In some state-the nv
passenger-with my bullying, well.labelled grip
alongside Of me- A porter AT the door to
drag the grpin and followed after him, shoulders
! back. head way up In the air cane and umbrella,
strapped together, swinging like a From
| he door saw the clerk beginning TO screw his
| face up for welcome II looked good. far.
| The bar was right to tho left OF tho hotel desk.
/ sheered of. before going up TO the desk and
| strollcd over there The barkeep inclined his ear
| 'Er--um-let's see,' said !, clearing my throat
sonororisy and pa,ting my stomach, Jus, make
me up very dry Martgny-dash OF Curacao
| cherry in it,
THAT'S a new one on me. Cap said the bar
keep Can make you plain cocktail
II shuddered.
"No, Just plain drop Of that gold seal. then
said L. with lot Of exterior disappointment point
! ing TO the bottle
| "The barkcep passed the bottle over and wiped
the glass very carefully before putting il down.
! poured ont very small one | wanted hoOtcr,
( hut / was luoking for effect not 10y. just then
and tossed it oil, with lot OF critical after smack
ing. Then pulled crumplcd dollar out Of my
vest pocket after reaching mo my breast pocket
as If for my wallrt-.and tossed II ON the bar
Then / picked up my 10 cents in change
and walked over u the desk, where the clerk Was
hold ng a pen, handle outward, for me-
( "Er -humph'-havc you room with hawth"'
| asked him
Sorry sir he replied, but we're just having
| the baths put in Got nice twor room suite,
second floor front for YOU, though
Il Looked whole lot gre, ed about the no hath
proposition, and harrCd ON II quite II few, and
then took the room suite $40 per diem Amer.
ican plan / cuuldut help it if that clerk figured
me To be Post flee inspector, which a(lrrward
! found lie did I'd got in on a mail train, and
/ wa had hp fr,,,