Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1899-05-25
HOW THE FRENCH MARRY UNAppRECIATED REfORMER
He WAS TAKING A GREAT DEAL
ON HIMSELF.
The Man With the side whiskers Did
Not Take Kindly to the Re
marks Concerning
Them.

/
The passenger who was holding TO
the strap in the crowded street car
had been regarding with interest for
several minutes n man seated near the
heater.
You'll excuse me. my friend he
said, bending down and speaking in
tone of voice calculated to win the
others confidence, IF l venture to sug-
gest that side-whiskers are not becom-
Ing TO your peculiar cast of counte-
nance and style of manly beauty"
WHO are YOU? demanded the seat
ed passenger. with an indignant EN-
phasiS on the you"
Nobody worth mentioning Still,
I"
Then you will have the goodness to
attend to your own business?'
Certainly. That's what I'm doing
| take the ground that a man gets
himself up principally for other peo-
Pies inspection. If everybody else was
blind nobody would take the trouble
of wearing his hair or his beard in any
particular style. 1t wouldn't be worth
his"
] Who's asking you for your opinion,
sir? 1t strikes me you're taking
good deal on yourself"
! II know | am. But somebody ought
TO do it. am part of the great pub
/ lie. When | see thing that's got up
for my inspection | have an inherent
and inalienabIe right to say whether it
/ pleases me or not. Still, l don't put it
on that ground. In calling your atten-
ton to the fact that your style of wear
ing your whiskers is not becoming to
you 1 claim that 1 am doing you a
! favor
20. you do. You meddlesome. long
nosed. prying fmpudent. insulting pud-
ding-head, do you know what l have
great mind TO do with youT
Yes, presume You have an impulse
TO throw me off the car I'm used to
that sort Of thing. / am always get
ting inro trouble because | take ii up
on myself now and then to point out
to some man the fact that he isn't
making the best use of his opp0rtuni-
ties to get himself up in good style
narrowly escaped fight with a fellow
once for simply asking him if his at
tention had ever been called to the cir
cumStance that he looked like John L.
Sullivan. Another time | was threat
ened with violence because | took the
liberty of telling a man how his mus
tache stood straight out like the bris-
ties of paintbrush and married his
profile view. There are persons who
don't like to be told that they aye their
beard, but they ought to know they
can't hide it, Nature never makes any
mistake in coloring the beard When
II ought TO be red. TO be in harmony
with the face, nature makes it red.
When the hair or beard turns gray it
makes il look a thousand times worse
to color it. suppose if I should tell
the policeman at the public library
that he'd appear a hundred per cent
better if he wouldn't dye his mustache
he'd put me out Of the building or ar
rest me for lese majesty 80 il goes.
You'd be surprised. I dare say if you
would look il up, TO find how few peo-
PIE with gorgeous side-whiskers like
yours ever tecome great men 1t takes
So much Of their time to cultivate and
admire them that they haven't any left
for improving rhcir minds They alb
sorb ones vital energy. And when. as
il your case-
III you don't shut that daraed fool
mouth Of yours I'll
I've nearly finished ger off about
two blocks further on l was going
20 say that when, as in your ease,
such long APPENDICES are rot only an
Inconvenience and steady strain on
the vital forces bur a positive detri-
ment 10 the appearance
Take thar. You blamed IDIOT"
The exasperated man made mnge
at him with his fist as he spoke.
The selfsacrifcing philanfhroplst
lodged it with a CELEBRITY acquired per-
haps, by much previous practice. and
went on imperturbably
1T would seem to be the part of
wisdom. in such case. | say. to give
! up the struggle and content ones self
with less intricate plan of facial up-
hOlstery. That's all. You haven't been
as attentive as some men I've talked
to, but l think you'll remember my re-
marks Good evening"
He easily lodged another swinging
blow. nodded to the conductor. and got
off the car with his head erect and
smile of cheerful resignation on his
face which was beautiful 10 see.
TntRnffnuaI