davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-06-20
Humor OF the Golf Course.

Golf stories have their regular rounds
and seasons, just as the humorous tales
which one hears in other occupations or
pleasures, says the New York Times. The
hackneyed golf tales, however, do not en-
JOY an absolute monopoly, for coinical sit
uaiiOns occur frequently on The links, and
a visitor TO several cubs is almost sure 10
hear a number of new Stories and most of
them can be vouched for as absolutely
true.
Probably every golfer has heard of the
naive young lady, who. while taking her
first lesson in the game it is said, on the
Lakewood links, after the customary in
StructionS regarding the various clubs and
delicious innocence:
And do l swing the caddie in the same
waV."
Then she wondered why every one smiI-
ed, and the caddies beat a hasty retreat
10 their house.
At the Morris County Golf Club the 9TH
er day, they Were telling brand-neW tale
and it is not worn out yet. Two exceed
ingly diminutive caddies were assigned 10
two of the BEADING women golfers as the
latter Were about 20 starr out in match
After one Of the fair contestants had dfiV-
en- off, she turned 10 her caddie, and no.
ticed the other one standing close by.
why she exclaimed in surprise. 81
don't believe l could tell my caddie from
the other one. You two little fellows look
as much alike as two peas in a pod. You
must be twins"
we amt twins; ives triplets, but the
other one is a GRID
And now comes the following interesting.
tale from Springfield, Mass, which the
accurate and bona iide occurrence:
There is a beautiful black kitten that
frequents the Country Club grounds and
amuses itself by chasing birds and grass
hoppers-and golf balls. The kitten once
won a hole for one of the golfers He
played on TO the green and the bail was
rofiing in the direction of the hole when
the kitten spied it. Here's a good thing
said pussy 4 guess In push il along, ana
the Kitten played with IL aud kept ii going
until suddenly it disappeared in the hole
spite OF the opposition of his opponent. ana
Rule q upheld him: Whatever happens 10
bali in motion, such as It's being detected
or stopped by any agency outside the
match is a rub of the ereen, sng
the bali shelf be played from where il
Hes " ~
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-06-20

Many of our voluks}ers who fought in
Cuba and came into personal contact with
the Cuban patriot army under Gomez
have more or less amusing stories to tell
of the peculiar brand of military discipline
which prevailed among the hah-nalzed
half-armed, half-starVed soldiery which
mad so long defied the best troops Spain
could send against them, or rather after
them-for if they were only half-armed
their equipment of legs was complete and
efhcient, and as runners they could be
outpaced only by Filipinos, says the New
York Tribune. Spaniards We're no match
for them as sprinters.
Their idea of discipline, however, was a
thing 10 marvel at and caused as much
amused comment among our soldiers as
our own ideas of discipline evoke from the
English martinets
Perhaps the most interesting of these
Cubans were the few who had a one time
been in this country, earning a living as
clgarmakers in Florida. and had there
picked up more or less English It is re
lated of one Of these Cubans, who was ex-
!.Ttemely proud Of being. able to speak
United States" that after the junction
of our army with that of Gomez, he want
ed to leave camp one evening to return
about midnight, and receiving permission
to do so was informed that the pass
WORD for that night would be "Sehlay,"
and that he had better not forget it. if nc
did not want to be shot for a spy by the
sentry
The Cuban went away repeating the
magic word over and over to himself ~
as 10 be sure of remembering it, A little
after midnight he made his way back TO
camp and was halted by the sentry 5
challenge who goes theie?"
Friend replied the Cuban.
Advance, friend, and give the counter
sign, said the sentry.
The Cuban stepped nearer, and with
out moments hesitation triumph andy
Missed into the astonished sentrys face
the one word FoXYrf
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-06-20

Reforms are wrought in many and curl
Gus ways, but seldom in a stranger man
ner than that IN which certain drunk
star. This man had wandered at mid
night into a low saloon. He gave his or
der, then leaned against the bar for sup
port.
A man standing nearby took from one
pocket an addressed envelope aud from
another a stamp, which he moistened with
his tongue Instead of adhering to the
envelope, as the man intended, the stamp
slipped from his fingers and huttered TO
the floor
The tippler saw it fail and staggered
forward to pick ii up. Just as he was
about to grasp ii the stamp darted in
zigzag course toward the side wall, like
scared thing. Filled with establishment
the -drinker drew back and intently watch
ed the BIZ of paper. which, upon reaching
the wall, began to ascend
AS it assembled, the tipper's face grew
more intent, his body more rigid. He saw
nothing but the nys ferrous, moving thing.
His mind was soggy from years of cease
less drinking. He thought that the ami
mated stamp was a warning.
AT the top of the Wainscoting the stamp
stopped souatted as if for a moments
rest before ascending higher, and then
made dart toward the UpDler's haggard
face The trembling sot saw it stop, saw
it hesitate and leap.
He was unquestionably doomed If he con-
tinued longer to drink to excess; the stamp
had been given life 10 warm him. So II
seemed to him. With a pitiful yell Of
FEAR and determination he rushed from the
saloon From that evennul night until
he died, in prosperous circumstances, re
Gently, the man never swallowed a drop
Of liquor.
The moistened stamp had fallen upon a
cockroach'S back and stuck there.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-06-20
THE HAGUE CONFERENCE.

Very little is being said about the real
object for which the Cars peace confer
ence was called. The delegates appear to
be discussing the question of the arbitra-
ton Of international difficulties. In fact,
up to the present. the greater part of the
time of the conference has been given to
this subject. That II is a very important
subject there isn't a doubt, but, as yet
there isn't any certainty that anything in
respect to it win be accomplished. There
are several arbitration propositions, no
one of which meets with such general ia
vor as to justify the prediction that it will
be adopted. Emperor William of Germany
doesn't want to be bound by any agree
ment in respect to arbitration and it is
question yet whether he will consent to
anything that would be a substantial adj
vaneement in the direction of peace.
AS for the real purpose for which the
conference was called, namely, the limi-
tation of the ornaments of the nations,
the indications are that nothing will be
accomplished. Russia would like to get
rid of some of the burden which her vast
IflllttufN NHldbHSnluGnN AAipOctS hppil hSls
so that she could devote more of her rev.
enue to Internal improvements, but it looks
as if she had no reason TO hope for any,
thing in that direction of a substantial
character from the peace conference. The
delegates admit that the military estab-
lishments of the nations of Europe are
much greater than can be carried with
comfort-that taxes for military purposes
are making paupers of the people, but
| they cannot agree upon a plan for doing
that which all admit ought to be done.
1t is pretty safe to predict that the con
ference will accomplish nothing in the di-
rection of the purpose for which it was
called. There will be some sort of an
agreement in respect to international ar
duration, but the agreement win be of a
character that will bind the nations 10
nothing in particular. Such an agree
ment win be adopted so that it win be
possible TO say that the conference was
not entirely failure.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-06-20
If Every Day Was Sunday.

From the Memphis ScimItar
If every day was Sunday, and ell of life
was love,
And neither in the earth below, nor in the
A cloud was ever gathered to eclipse the
light of hope.
And the lilies in the valley and the roses
on the slope
Were ever blooming sweetly, and the land
was ever filled,
With the tend rest notes of Nature that
the songster ever trilled
Ii tear of sorrow never came to dim the
laughing eye,
Then pleasures would grow palling to the
senses, by and by.
If the sun could shine forever, and the dav
was always fair
And Nature Ger a laughing Miss, with
flowers in her hair;
If life was naught but pleasure, unknown
to gloom and pain,
And there were no storms of trial and no
sorrow floods of rain;
If there were no fruits forbidden no lows
to be denied,
If the heart was never tempted and the
soul was never tried;
If there were no thorny pathways, like
the bravest feet have trod
The heart would grow indifferent and
wander off from God.
It requires a night of darkness, Just to
make the day complete,
And behind each wall or trouble waits a
benediction sweet
Then remember, as you struggle up the
hill, though steep 1t be,
That beyond it's Alpine ruggedness lies
fairest Italy;
Each scar received in fighting for the
cause of truth and right
Shall be a badge of honor on the breast
of Honor's Knight;
The world may have its burdens, and its
griefs and tears untold,
But if there was no cross of sorrow there
could be no crown of gold.
Rufus McClaim Fields
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-06-20

The MORNING NEWS is published
every day IN the year. and is served to
subscribers in the city. or sent by mai.
at 500 a month. 500 for six months. ana
5000 for one yeoE.
The MORNING NEWS, by mail, six
times e week (without Sunday issue.
three months, 800; six months, $40; one
year. $500.
The WEEKLY NEWS, issues week.
Monday and Thursday. by mail, one year.
Sl.OO.
Subscriptions payable In advance. Remit
by postal orders, check or registered let
ter. Currency sent by mail at risk Of
senders.
Transient advertisements. other than
special column. local or reading notices.
amusements ami cheap or want column. 10
cents a line. Fourteen lines of agate
type-equaI TO one inch square in depth
10 the standard of measurement. Con
tract rates and discounts made known on
application at business office.
orders fo- delivery of the MORNING
NEWS 10 either residence or place of busI-
ness may be made by postal card OF
through telephone No. 21O. Amy irregular
ity In delivery should be Immediately re
ported to the office of publication.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed MORNING NEWS" Savannah.
Ca.
EASTERN OFFICE. % Park Row. New
York city. C. g. Faulkner, Manager.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-06-20
HAS MR. BRYAN CHANGED his Po-
sITInNs

In a signed article In Sundays New
York Journal AR. Bryan discusses
Christianity Applied 20 Government Iu
the course OF his article he sayss '-rhe
forcible annexation OF the Philippine ISL
ands is defended by some OF the ground
that our nation Is performing a reiissous
duty. without stopping TO elaborate tae
fact that a large number Of Fliplnos are
already members of one branch OF the
Christian church, 1t is worth while 20 in
quire whether wars Of conquest are in line
with Christian precepts." Further along
in his article he says: Let US not mis-
take temptation for opportunity. The
sight of new territory may be alluring,
the glory of an empire may be fascinat-
ing, but the price is too great"
The inference from the foregoing is that
Mr.. Bryan is in favor Of Withdrawing from
the Philippines before the Filipinos have
recognized our authority there. II that
is not his position what is it? 1t would
be we'll in view Of the fact
that he is candidate for the
presidential nomina ton of his party,
for him TO make his position on the
subject of the Philippines clear. II we
are not mistaken he published an inter
view .ast winter in which he declared that
he was against miliiarism and imperial
ism. but expressed the opinion that We
couldn't withdraw from the Philippines
until we had forced the Fillpinos to recog-
nize our authority. Mr.. Bryan favored
raufying the treaty with Spain which gave
us the Philippines, but he thought thar
the FiHpinos should have a government Of
their owp under an American protector
ate.
If Mr. Bryan has changed his views on
the Philippine question the people would
like TO know IL. Instead of dealing in
glttering generalities wouldn't 1t be bet
ter for him to come out boldly and state
what his position is? If he entertains
views different from those which he ex-
pressed last winter it is only fair, hold
ing the position he does, that he should
make known the fact There is no doubt
that a very large percentage of the peo-
pie would like to have the war brought
10 a ClOSH at OiltNt bul NhSg WaiiA II hpht
in a way that would be creditable 10 the
country. How can the war be brought
to a close Immediately so that this coun-
try wouldn't suffer in the estimation of
the rest of the world? That is a question
which the public would like to have an
swered Can Mr. Bryan answer it? If
he can, he ought to do so at once. If his
answer should be satisfactory he would in
crease his popularity immensely. But it
is doubtful if he Will strengthen himself
with the people by denouncing the war I'M
less he points out at the same time how
we can get out of 1t with honor.
II is true that the price we are paying
for the Philippines is very great-much
more than we expected to pay. or are will
ing to pay. but how can we honorab.y
avoid paying il? That is the question
which Mr.. Bryan should answer in his
next article
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-06-20

Il now seems that Philadelphia will take
the lead in a great reform, for the benefit
81 The masculine half Of the race. Why
should men he compelled by custom to
wear coats and swe,ter and steam in hot
weather, while women keep cool and COM
Portable ia shin waists? Philadelphia is
discussing the question, and may institute
movement towards permitting the shirt
waist to men wen as women. Materials
idenucaly the same are used for makiag
shirts and waists. yet the man must keep
his Madras shirt covered with coat no
matter if The mercury is in the nineues.
while the woman's shoulders are covered
only by the waist Why should not the
mans SKIRT be charged into a shirt waist.
and become a thing Of beauty and a JOY 10
its wearer, and the envy OF all beho.ders.
just as a woman's is?
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-06-20

For many years there has been a tradi-
ton among those who frequent the races
about New York that a mare never had
Won ard never would WIN tie great Subur-
ban. But on last Saturday Imp upset and
shattered thai pet delusion Of the sporting
fraternity when she not only won the race
but establishes q new record. In these
ead-of-the-century days there are frequent
incidents which warn US that 1t IS not
always safe 10 discount the prowess of the
gentler sex
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-06-20

DR.. j. Gordon Bennett of Halifax, ".
s.. was quoted in the New York Herald
the other day as claiming TO have dis
covered a remedy with which malaria
fever. and other fevers, could be cured
in one night A number of other physl-
clans who have been interviewed by the
Herald declare that the thing is impos>
sible, and that DR.. Bennett evidently does
not know what he is talking about When
doctors disagree. who shall decide? We
hope that DR.. Benefits discovery has
some foundation in fact. If he can cure
malarial fever in two nights, or in four,
or ten nights. he has done well. Some
cases OF malaria perniciously refuse to
be cured In years.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-06-20

A special to the Herald from Manila
says that many hungry Filipinos were fed
at Paranaque and Las Pinas the other
rice ana canned roast beef" and that
some OF the beef was spoiled" Is II to
be inferred from this that Gen. otis has
determined to wage more vigorous and
relentless warfare?
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-06-20
CURRENT COMMENT.

The Washington Post Qnd) says: 1--WE
do not agree with that cabinet official
who is reported as having complained
that the Fnpinos do not know when they
are whipped If we are TO believe the
press reports that reach us. they are not
whipped at all or in any immediate danger
of being so. Neither, to be frank, do we
see any reason why the Filipinos should
suspend hostilities. We have declared no
policy which they can consider from
peaceable or political point of view, and
we have failed to convince them of the
necessity Of surrendering to a force of
whose purposes they are thus far igno-
rant"
The Cincinnati Enquirer Dem) says:
"The administrationsts do not
Of revising the financial sys-
tenn. Their promising days are over, and
now the question with them is how to
avoid fulfilling the promises. They are
afraid of the money question. They do
not comprehend It. They know that the
carrying out of the little they have pro-
posed would wreck them before the peo-
pie All they can do is to send a lot of
wordy fellows with resonant voices
through the country to intone the old
viii be equal to any emergency that may
arise"
The Springfield CMass.) Republican Qnd.)
says Mr.. Proctor of the civil service
commission has ventured to say that the
Presidents recent civil service order is
a backward STEP, and FOR this he is said
to be marked for punishment. He de-
clares. however. that he will not resign
ond If the President wants to get rid of
him he must say so out loud Gov. Roose-
welt, when a commissioned, used to criti-
else the orders of both Presidents Harri-
son aud Cleveland but where you have
O perfectly good man in the Presidency
the case is different"
The Birmingham Age-Herald Dem.)
says: deficiencies, il not actual bank
ruptcies, are doing more to promote dis
armament than the conference at The
Hague. Three European governments are
facing heavy deficiencies. and four more
are head over heels in debt
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-06-20

According to the official reports from
Manila, nine American soldiers died last
week from the effect Of Filipino bullets.
while eleven died of disease 1t thus APP
pears that the insurgents are not the
worst enemies of our troops in the Phil
ippiues. Meantime the reports do not say
anything Of the sick list 1t can only be
oonjectured how many of the boys are in
the hospitals. And the sicl1ly season has
hardly more than fairly opened
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-06-20

The city of Savannah is contemplating
the construction of two crematories. The
matter has been discussed time and again
in the columns of the Morning News, I'M
til about everybody familiar with or inter-
ested in the disposal of garbage is well
informed concerning ii. After several
weeks the knowledge that Savannah
thinks of building two crematories has
reached the Charleston News and Courier.
But the News and Courier has not yet
heard that crematories are made use of
for the reduction of garbage. "Crema-
tory to IL means only one thing-a place
for the incineration of human bodies;
therefore, when it is announced that Sa-
vannah is contemplating the erection OF
TWO crematories, ii can mean to the News
and Courier nothing else than that they
are designed "for che sanitary disposition
of the dead" And the Charleston paper
does not hesitate to "give the enterprise"
it's "heartiest Endorsement" but hopes the
Savannah reformers will persist and sue
coed in their undertaking." since they
deserve credit for their courage in try
ing to introduce the reform in so conserv-
ative community" We have always
thought it would do the News and Courier
world of good to let its bright young
men run over to Savannah once In awhile
and get in touch with progress and mod
ern Improvements. Savannah years ago
abolished the garbage dump" and substi-
tuted the crematory, a measure of sani-
tary precauuon which il seems has never
occurred to some of our neighbors.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-06-20

TO What 1t May Come.-'AIay I ask 10
be considered a candidate for your hand?o
he faltered, not forgetting the formal
courtliness habitual with him Tbe
beautiful Gwendolyn Manhattan Borol,gb
regarded him by no means unconcernediy
Are you MI Croker's candidate. or Mr.
Platt's candidate, or merely the refo ~,
candidateT' she asked and her earnest
ness was such that 1t could not be wholly
affected.-Puck. "'0"S
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-06-20
A CORRECT CENSUS WANTED.

There is a great deal of dissatisfaction
apparently with Census Director Merri-
ans plan for examining applicants for
places in the census office and with the
Presidents plan for dividing the census
patronage, so far as the South is con-
cerned, between Republicans and Demo-
Gratis In both cases it is the politicians
who are making the trouble. They don't
want any examinations of applicants, ana
the fact that in the South the Democratic
senators are to have the distribution of
the patronage that is allotted to Demo-
Gratis is the cause of bitter complaint by
Democratic representatives. The repre-
sentatives think they are much better
qualified than senators to say who ought
to be selected for enumerators.
There is no doubt that here in the South
the enumerators should be white men,
but as it Is not probable that the Re
publican supervisors will appoint white
men, the leading citizens in every COM
munfty should make it their business to
see that intelligent and capable men are
chosen. What is wanted is a correct CEN
sus If ignorant and incompetent men
are appointed enumerators it is certain
that the census returns will be full of
errors. There will be a large amount of
guess work. The census will cost very
large sum, and ii ought TO be properly
taken. In some sections it Will be, but
there are reasons for apprehension that in
parts of the South it will be so full of err
rors as TO be of little value.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-06-20

According to a Calcutta dispatch. an
other Of the Letter girls, Miss Daisy, is
to marry into the British nobility. She
is alleged 10 be engaged to the Earl of
Suffolk, aide-de-campe to the Viceroy of
india Lord Curzon, the husband of her
sister. Suffolk, whose family name is
Howard. is p years old.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-06-20
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

Meeting-Lafayette McLaws Camp, No.
SOC, U. c. V.
Special Notices-Preserves, A. NJ. & c.
W. West; A Good Meal For 10 Cents, at
BIG Joe Restaurant.
Business Notices-E. & w. Laundry.
Steamship Schedules-Ocean Steamship
Company; Baltimore Steamship Company.
Auction Sales-Condemned Quartermas-
ters' Property by j. b. Bellinger, Major
and Depot Quartermaster.
II You Kneed It-Byck Bros.
Aliens -Ease-AIlen S. Olmsted, lie
Roy. N. Z.
Ofcial-Proceedings of Council.
Shoes-Burt & Packard "Korrect Shape"
Shoes
Hotel-Hotel Empire, New York.
Mineral Water-Crab Orchard Water.
Everyone Is Buying-The Hub Clothing
Company.
Nothing Too High--E. L. Nedhnger.
Medical-Johann Hoff's Genuine Malt
Extract; S. S. s.; Cuticura Remedies; Erie
Medical Company Castoria; Worlds Dis
pensary Preparations.
Cheap Column Advertlsements-Hel
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent;
For Sale. Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-06-20

The Chicago poets. if the Times Herald
may be relied upon as their spokesman,
certain Georgia poet upon the PROPOSE
ton, "There amt nothin half as hot as
heat" at least until there has been a fall
OF the mercury
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-06-20

The work Of rigging The cup defender
Columbia viii probably be completed this
next week. 1t has been determined that
the speedy sloop Navahoe, as well as the
Defender, shah take part in the preami-
nary races 10 determine which vessel shall
have the honor of meeting the Shamrock.
Il 5 confidently. expected that the new
beat viii prove more speedy than either
Of the older ones; stin, they are good craft
and wiz put her upon her mettle