Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-08-02


banks on both sides. Brooklyn Life.
How do people begin divorce pro
eeedings, anyway" by getting mar
ried, believe" Philadelphia Bulle.
tin
A young historian: Now. David,
how did Washngtons army cross the
Delaware" please, sir. with hard
ships. ."-Bazar.
Sea Captain -"rhere Is no hope The
ship is doomed! In an hour we VIII all
be dead seaslck Passenger-"Thank
heaven"-New York Weekly.
Brldget--"lf yez don't pay me the
wages yez owe me. Orll kape dunning
yez till yeZ do" Deacon Harduppe-
We'll dun, good and faithful servant"
Life.
Ethel-'rhe man | marry must be =
hero-one who can beard the lion In his
den" Percy-"I see; kind OF u com
bination circus-man and barber' =
Puck.
Jones-"When she married him she
started In to make his home para
disc on earth Johnson-"Did shey
Jones-"Yes, She salways harpng
Kansas City Independent
Mrs Sklmpen-"I think Mr. Smith
must have liked the becfsteak pie. He
had two helplngs OF It, The tactless
Misunderstanding he did 1t on q
wager Boston Transcript.
''l'd like TO look over some OF you-
collars said the young man, In the
haberdashers "Oh, then yon want
to see some of the low styles?" replied
the dealer. -lonkers Statesman.
Yes" said the A. ID. Il. manager.
pointing at one of his employees. that
boy has grown old In the service"
And" said the visitor, "while deliver
Ing rush messages, l suppose. Chi
cago Daily News.
Tonsorial Artist--"I am using a new
kind of shaving soap. Most OF the gen
tlemen that get shaved here say it's
the best I've ever had" Customer
well, that's merely a matter OF taste"
Chicago Tribune.
Casey-"Doolan offered to prove to
me in black an white that Oh war
fool" Clancy --"Phwat happened
thin?" Casey -"Oi proved to him in
black an blue thot he war a liar
New York Journal.
"Yes, that's the bride" VERY
young. isn't she?" Nineteen. be-
lieye' who are those middle aged
women with herr" 'srhose are her
unmarried sisters. She's chaperoning
them" ."-Cleyeland Plain Dealer.
Mrs. Honkley (seyerely)-'It's not
necessary for me TO ask where you
were and what you We're doing last
night" Mr. Honkley (brightening,-
I'm glad OF that. for | couldn't do II
to save myself."'-C Chicago News.
Crags Did you tell Shippers you
thought l was a man without any bal
ance?" Butts-'.Well, naturally in-
ferred that If you had a balance you
would draw on it for the amount you
owe me. Philadelphia North Amer
lean. s# -
Fuddy-"Heckle complains that after
all his labor in behalf of the public
lie gets nothing for IT," Duddy-"And
that's more than he deserves. Moth
ing Is too good for him. | have heard
him say SO imself."-Boston Tran
script.
Mrs. Greene-"Funny how mothers
Will believe that their own children
are so much better than anybody else's
children" Mrs. Gray-"I know it. II
all people. now, We're like my little
George, it would not be SO strange
Boston Transcript. ...z.
Widow Jones-"How would my little
Johnny like a new papa Johnny
aged ooh, you needn't shove the
responsibility onto me, ma. 1t Isn't
new papa for me, but new hus-
band for yourself that you are think
ing of."-Boston Transcript.
What do you think of my sons pros
1ects in lifeY' inquired the young mans
father Well" answered the profess
,or "he may be a great and financially
successful politician one of these days.
He says 1 don't remember to almost
every question ask him."-Washing-,
tOn Star. 4lta
First Chicago Matr0n-T pity that
poor Mr.. Porkington. His wife Is such
an arbitrary, self-willed creature that
| believe she Is making life q nlghts
mare for him. Second Chicago MAJ
tron-"Yes, the conceited creature! She
treats him as If she never had hus-
band before. Judge.
i
"Mammy, said Pickaninny Jim, '"Ps
gwinter be one er desc 'hypnOtizers."
'Whut's demT' "Yoh look somebody
in de eye, an he des nach'ly goes ter
sleep" WELL don't you go .was;in
yoh time Dah's -saeepfulness 'nufr ia
dishere worl an" she paused sudden
ly, and after moment of thought ad-
Jimmy, does you imagine You
could do dat to chicken T-Washing'
ton Star.