The daily sentinel., 1899-11-09

Joseph Jefferson, at recent dinner,
where he was the guest of honor, said
nat he had been asked to tell some OF
ne curious and amusing stage Incl
cents that had come under his observa-
ion during his long career. In compli-
4ncr win this request he narrated IA
auMbtr of ludicrous occurrences that
c:.IEe 10 his mind on the spur of the
moment, and among them he recalled
the happenings at a theater in one of
the western towns good many years
ago.
The stage properties and resources of
lis theater Mr.. Jefferson said, were of
the most primitive kind. There was
banquet scene in the play, at which
molasses and water did duty for wine.
and Sea Island cotton acted the part OF
ice cream. The stage manager did not
practice total abstinence, and his assist
ants took their cue from him.
On the night il question: one OF these
assistants, who was far from sober, in
placing candelabrum on the banquet
table, managed to tip a lighted candle
over into the ice cream bowl. And the
spectators were instantly treated to the
unparalleled experience of seeing ice
cream in blaze.
Their enjoyment of the situation was
increased by the further mistake of the
tipsy assistant, who, being instructed
to put the light out and not noticing
that the ice cream was on fire, stag
gered back to the table and extinguished
the candles.
roothache has been lately a great
source of annoyance to the kaiser Not
that the imperial molars are. so far as
| know, threatened with premature de-
cav Were this the case, nobody would
risk the penalties of lese majesty by
openly asserting it. The case is, how
ever, from public point of view, far
more serious. 1t appears that the entire
German army suffers from dental
troubles to such an extent that it has
been found difficult to find non-com-
missioned officers capable of giving the
word of command. When they attempt
to utter familiar formula the Ten
tion!" "Stand at easel" shoulder
arms!" and so forth, mere confused and
narticulate sounds issue from their
toothless gums. Things are bad enough
on the parade ground, but what would
lures to conjecture. Worse still, the
boys in the training school for mon
CONS" seem to be in no better plight
than their elders. Nearly all of them
after inspection, seemed to have one or
more hopeless tusks, while large pro-
portion can only be rendered fit for
service by strict submission to the den
lists orders, and many are beyond the
reach of art. His majesty has resolved
to spend at once 1000 marks on s1p-
ping the teeth of his Christian warriors
or in providing them with false sets.
This applies only to the Prussian con-
tingent. Several of the subject states
have not made up their minds to incur
the expense.
Mrs. Roomer-"What measures %
you adopt to get rid of boarders who are
bad pay?" Mrs. Board-"Oh, just give
them a little cold der."-Philadel-
phia North American.
81 notice the exclusive people of New
York amuse themselves getting up
family trees" Yes, and their simian
forefathers did the same thing
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mans Inhumanity.-Mr Reader
"What are the dead languages, my
dear?" Mr.. Reader-"Oh, they are
probably the ones that women have
talked to ath.'-Chicago News.
Senior Partner-"We must discharge
that traveller of ours. He told one of
our customers that was a fool" Ju-
njor Ditto-"I'll see him at once and in
silt rDOn his keeDinp the FIRMS secrets ="