Evening star., 1899-02-11
e WEIGHED TOO MUCH

81 tried to sell a gold. brick to an exam
| lining physician for life insurance COM
pany not long ago. said a wel-known
| member of the Washington Fat Mems Club
| but he wouldn't buy. They're a pretty
foxy lot, are examining physicians for life
insurance companies. They can find more
things the matter with you that you never
even heard of yourself than a few, and /
wouldn't be surprised if they weren't al
ways SO dead right in their diagnoses at
that; but they're the people who pass you
in, seeing that what they say about You
goes, and they are hard propositions to get
beyond.
Fifteen years ago 1 applied to a big life
insurance outfit, with headquarters in
washington, tor a ten-year poncy. L was
then IN pretty nne physical shape, and only
weighed no POUNDS, winch wasn't such d
hedp Tor my inches, wnIcn were 40. l was
passing the young examining physician IN
canter, when he noticed that / had a
rather unusually well developed chest, and
ne asked me TO what 1 attributed that de-
Velopment-if l exercised a great deal or
what.
Cigarettes I said simply as a gag
blamed if he didn't take that seriously.
DO you smoke clgarettes?' he asked me.
Why, yes, l SAID. I've been smoking
EN- ever since l was knee-high to a tree
toad. They've built me up
VARY injurious-vairy.' he said, and
then he went at it and gave my heart
eioiotSH re IOunQ my nGdrt
wanting. He hadn't found it so until, just
to be funny, had mentioned that l smok-
ed cigarettes but with that terrible infor-
nation in his possession he discovered that
my heart was in simply frightful condi-
tion He told me all about it. He said that
instead of beating with regular, evenly
timed ksr-chng. ker-chug! my heart went
with Slatternly, ragged choo-pst! choo-pstt
and that the valves and things were all
but done for, owing to my use of the dead
" cigarette Now, I had never more than
Just about known that had such thing
as heart up to that time. and this man
nearly scared me to death with his talk
about the slouchy. unbusinesslike way my
heart was doing business. This examining
physician told me that | was liable to die
at any minute, and he warned me against
getting out of bed in a hurry or going up
stairs too fast or STOPPING over to tie my
shoes, etc. etc. OF course he turned me
down so far as my getting a policy was
concerned. I began to imagine from that
time on that my heart was affected and
eNnerienced all kinds of pains shooting
through 1t; hut after a while came to the
conclusion that I was humbueging mvse1f
as the examining physician had humbuegeta
me, simply because he was preiudiced
bothered me since
"a month so ago I was looking over
the prospectus or what-you-call-it of an
other big life insurance company and the
insure-your-life bee again heean buzzinp in
my head. So I went to the life insurance
people and told them that T was thinking
of taking out a policy. and they appointed
day for me to be examined by their doc
tor man. l weigh over 240 pounds now. and
/ was little bit afraid that / couldn't lie
insured for that reason. but I determined
to take a chance on it, anyhow. AS said,
I'm only two inches shy of six feet, and
pretty solid. and l hoped that the doctor
would count me 22!-pounder. They've
got scale of weights in their system. these
life insurance people have, and ! believe
a, five-foot-ten man must not weigh more
than 225 pounds.
"fhe doctor looked me over very care
fully. and told me at the end that was
all right. He measured my height, but 1
didn't see any scales in his office and fig
ured it that he'd overlook that end of it.
Yes said the doctor after tad re-
right, l may tell you unoficialy. although
you'll only be notified of my report some
time later on. BY the way, l wonder if
you are within our weight regula tions.
You're not over 225 are you?'
'.You wrong me- I said rsproachfully,
without actually going record, and
felt pretty good over passing easily.
Three days ago one of the agents of the
lifa insurance company came around to my
office and told me ] had passed the doc
tor all right, except that / had yet to he
weighed The agent made an appointment
for me to meet the doctor at noon the next
day. when I'd be officially weighed.
II knew that it would be all up with
scales in this doctors presence, and so
decided to put an idea into execution.
II was to meet the doctor at an office
near the corner 11th street and the ave-
| nue., and I concluded I'd escort him to the
Elks Club, of which I am a member, and
| have the weighing done there. Then ]
went to the Elks' Club an hour before /
| was to meet the doctor, and did a little
business with the club scales. That is to
| say. l put silver match box tnat l had
| in my pocket on the end of the drop rod,
and, as the rod is steel, the match box
| wouldn't have been noticed by one man in
| a hundred, The match box on the end of
| the rod took just twenty-five pounds off my
| weight and l had ii all fixed in my head to
| say to the doctor when met him, Doc,
We'll just run over to the Elks' Club and
have the weighing done there-they've got
| n good pair of scales there
| Il met the doctor al the appointed hour,
| and sprung this neat little invitation on
! him in the most off-hand manner in the
world.
| Thanks for the invitation, he said but
| we'll stroll over to this butter-and-eg gg
house across the way: | always do my
| Weighing on the scales over there
| 'Then / knew it all up with me. I
! couldn't say anything, of course, but walk
| ed on with him to the butter house. on
! the scales of which 1 tipped the beam at
| 245 pounds, and was of course out of it so
| far getting life insurance policy was
| concerned.
| These life insurance doctors don't know
| it all, Of course but then, again, they're not
| such dead-easy 'come-ons,' either"