The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1899-09-18
HOW RE Was SQUARED.

bng?"
on the dot"
= was afraid you aidn'. &c. the
note"
II found 1t in the box. this morning.
Where is this place you're going to
take me?"
SITS a garden-away out on the
north side. I've got an open carriage
outside there-boautlful night for a
ride" i
And the wife7"
She's out therein the carriage"
well, let's not keep her waiting. I'm
ready" Cstarting)
'say-hold on; you needn't throw
away your cigar. Sit down. She can
wait moment"
well, may be she can. but can i?
You must remerbsr that I've never seen
the wife"
You'll get a good look at her pres
entity Before We go out there want
To refresh your memory"
DO what2"
Refresh your memory. You know, we
were together last evening"
Were we?"
I'VE were-unless you want me to
pay alimony.- Don't you remember?
You see, yesterday afternoon thought
possibly you were in town already, so 1
came around to the hotel about half
past five and found you here. You
were delighted to see me. OF COURSE
roOmed together at college, fraternity
brothers, shaved with the same razor
and all that You insisted that 1 take
dinner with you"
Did II"
II should say you did. You insisted
very strongly. You said that you would
be offended II didn't cut everything
else and dine with you. tried hard to
tear myself away You may remember
how l pleaded with you. i told you
that my wife was waiting for me at
home, that her sister had come over
from the north side to spend the day,
and that II didn't appear at dinner
she wouldn't speak TO me for a week.
Then you sud that an old friend had
some claims that even aawife could not
disregard. You said that could dine
with my wife every other day in the
year, but this was the one day that /
had to give over to the Oldest and best
friend of my boyhood days"
1T seems that 1 was quite determined
to have you dine with me"
BILLY, you were simply lmmovable.
You wouldn't take mo for an answer.
You ordered dinner for two while was
trying to break away. You were posi-
tive that my wife wouldn't be offended
when she learned all the circumstan-
ces." az
II am to remember alhtRls, am IT,
you are to remember all that and
more. You are to be prepared to tell
what we had for dinner, repeat portions
Of the conversation, mostly IN regard
to the dear old days In college, and
testify that drank only two glasses
OF wine"
"a cheerful prospect. but can't say
that TN much sUTpfised& You may
recall that had to do more or less ly-
ing for you when we.rOomed together.
II know, Bully; but this Is different,
It's easy enough to fool the faculty, but
It takes an artist to convince my wife
that there's nothing wrong when fail
10 SHOW up for dinner and don't get in
untilF2 O'Clock in the morning"
Was 1t us bad as thatT"
well, that's merely arough outline.
where were you, Anyway
Twas With, you.'' +
'sSes?'' ~. 1As
''Oh, yes. This is where you have to
do some more refreshing You VIII re-
call that we sat the table for at least
an hour talking over old times and then
we went up to your room.
why did we go up there?"
"Ive got that all fixed. We went up
there to look at some phOtographs-old
friends OF ours, college friends.
1T seems, Tom. that the college theme
runs Ill the way through this master
piece" - 49,. $50
That's right. We sat up in your
room and talked about tns"men IN our
class, the ball games We used to win
1T wouldn't take long toatell about
,..And so on-about nearly everything.
except girls. We didn't talk about
girls, remember that. When l was In
school 1 was rather difIident and knew
only two or three girls In town"
Great SCOTT
Now you've got general idea OF the
whole thing. came around early. ana
you compelled me to stay Tor dinner.
After dlaner we sat ut the table and
talked, and finally SoI saggested that
we 20 up to your room aud look at
those Photographic"
What would a man on his way 70
Yellowstone mark want with a lot OF
THAT'S what she asked, told her
that YOU always carried them with you
-Onc OF your peculiarlties, We looked
al these photographs. fell into a
rambling conversation and forgot all
about the time until you happened to
look at your watch and told me II was
after / o'clock was horrlhed-ran
out and got Into cab and went home"
And she believes II. does she?
'She will Il you corrOborate the whole
thing. Here. watch me Do you re-
member the sign Of distress we used to
have In the frat? Well. give It to you
now"
''By George. Tom. you are a wonder.
So this Is to be my introduction to your
wife, Is It? I'm 70 start ont being
scapegoat your sins? Do you know
where was last evening? Calling on an
uncle out here on the west side, sitting
on the vernnda and talking Christian
science"
You merely thought you were out
there. AS n matter Of fact you were
down here with me"
Talking of the beloved college
days"
HAPPY college days!''
From half-pnst FIVE In the afternoon
untl after one O'Clock In the morning
I'm tho house ~ the time, and the Their
momcter n, 90"
"rIl admit that the story might be
Improved. but 1t was the best | could
On in the tine had, Good or bad Il
hIe boon spread on the record and u
nn"l be backed up. She asked me II u
wasn't rather warm sitting In n hotel
bedroom Hll evening, and told her
mat rnu had room on the tenth hoor
and got q fine breeze"
"Rut there arcs only seven floors IN
this h0tpIH