The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1899-06-15
Jokes as Merchandise.

i have come to regard an idea as purely
matter of merchandise" said a local
newspaper man, who augments his salary
oy supplying pearls of thought to the North
ern periodicals. When invent a joke. for
instance, Immediately consider the garb in
winch 1t will bring the best price. and you
would be surprised at the extent of my lit
erary costume shop To illustrate the point
l mad small inspiration this morning that
nave not yet decided how to use. The
simplest form would be bit Of dialogue
to accompany picture in one of the comic
Weekiles, in which case it would run about
like this:
Old Moneybags (severely)-I trust, sir,
that you haven't contracted any new debts.
Young Moneybags with engaging
frankness)-Oh no, sir; but I have sue
ceeded in expanding number Of old ones
I would label this Expansion Policy Up
TO Date, and, If accepted, l would receive a
check for the munificent sum of ST.
But l have good paper on my staff, -
continued the industrious young man, that
is fond OF little anecdotes of the brand once
popular in Harper's Drawer, and is essen
send my jokelet there 1 shall dress it about
as follows:
One OF the small tenants on the planta-
tiOn owned by Co. L. was a good natured
shiftless old negro, who answered to the
name of Nose. Although Nose had an ex-
cellent piece C land that was cultivated
with fair success by his numerous progeny,
he was always hopelessly entangled in debt
and the colonel took frequent occasion to
lecture him on his improvidence. One day
the old darkey hobbled past the manor
house, sunk apparently, in the deepest de-
lection. "Hellc! Mcse," called the colonel
from the porch. What are you looking
in mind, Kurnel." replied the tenant,
mournfully. well, l suppose you've been
contracting lot of new debts" said the
p,,onter. mo, sab" replied Nose, earnest
lX mo, Kurnel, there amt been on new
debts 'tracted, but they's been er poful
'spansion of sommer tn ole ones."
CHOW that's an innocent little anecdote.
not calculated to bring blush to the cheek
of any reader and illustrating what our
Northern friends regard as the native wit of
the colored brother. Such jeux de'esprit
sell at three for IS.
81 might continue these lightning changes
indefinitely the speaker went on, but 1
think I've covered my point However, if
I was running a series of dialect or char
acter sketches l wouldn't use such joke
separately at all, but would store it away
to work into the general drift of the text.
Merely as an illustration, suppose I was
the inventor Mr.. Dooley, which I wish to
the Lord l was, I'd start off about like
this:
There's no denyin', Hinnessy, that tn
imper -rayal policy has taken furrm hould
oD tn imagination of toilin Masses, said
Mr.. Dooley. They're like the lad on the
farm pinin' to go to the city to acquire
exper- rience an goald bricks. At prisint
iverythings fer expansion. 1 was at Hog
ans last night, an young Tim, ye know he's
wild divvle, struck tn old man fer fifty.
what fur?" says Hogan, "an' is it new
debts we've been contractin'? says he. No.
father" says Tim, 'its old wans," says
he, eve been ixpandin," says he. 'Tis no
wonder, Hinnessy, that"
but you see how it is. With little
care and ingenuity I can serve up my dimin-
uitive idea in almost as many different
forms as Oscar at the Waldorg Astoria can
serve eggs. which l believe is GIG. Some
times 1 start to indite two-line text for
picture and expand the theme into a
$1,000 word storiette. 1t is one OF the tricks
of the trade, me boy, without which should
be obliged to take my meals at con-
siderably cheaper hashery. New Orleans
Times Democrat.