The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1899-02-12
HIS BITTEREST MOMENT.
Ex- TANK NO. s AT COUNCIL BLUFFS
ARA. M. IN TWo FEET OF SNOT.

IN " TOWN. AnUt neth "uny bNTu NlOChh
The Good bartender aud the Mesmerist.
Now. talking about towns. Council Bluffs
gets more knocks than any town | know Of"
said ex-Tank No. 8 of the Harlem Club OF For
mer Alcoholic DeRenerates. when. at the
club's last meeting. a discussion arose on the
subject Of the most hopeless cities In the coun-
try in which TO 20 broke. But I've been up
against worse than Council Bluffs. Council
Bluffs is n clammy locker. and all that. but
there's one good thing about IL. they don't run
you In out there II you strike the place in the
dead OF winter without an o%vercoat. The con-
stables Just look you over. and " you don't
make the mistake OF shivering. and Just slide
| along as II you never wore an %overcoat in
your life. and wouldn't wear a sealskin blan-
ket IL you had one. they don't chase
you. This thing OF being compelled to
dodge cops. as you have TO do in n good many
towns / could mention, simply because you've
left the %overcoat In the last town back. done up
with camphor balls. is not what It's cracked up
to be. and that's why / give Council Bluffs
what's coming to 1t in this little matter OF de-
tail. But that's not all. either. i won out once
in Council Bluffs. and"-
II would warn No. g." interposed Ex-Tank
No. 9. the parliamentarlan and kicker. rising.
that none but truthful statements are spread
upon the records OF this organization. and that
this outfit has no sort OF afnliation whatever
with the Harlem Liars Club: consequently. in
! making such o manifestly impossible state
ment that he at one time won out in Council
Bluffs. No. 8 Is guilty Off,
Point not sustained" interrupted the Chief
Ex-Tank. Any man who can find himself aud
win out In Chicago. as our records prove No. 3
to have done. is capable Of landing right even
in Council Bluffs. insurmountable as the dif1-
Guilty Of such an undertaking would seem. No.
9 will proceed"
"Oh. It wasn't so hard" resumed No. g. Il
don't exactly understand how 1t was that my
ticket read to Council Bluffs and not across the
bridge to Omaha. | don't remember how ! got
that ticket in Chicago, anyhow. After | got Sl2
and a ticket on the overcoat way down on
South Clark street / remember figuring il out
| that Omaha would be n pretty good place to hit
up next. but somehow or another | didn't get
my money down right in the s~calper's Office
where / got the Ticket, so that the con-
ductor ditched me at Council Bluffs at /
o'clock in the morning. 1t was early in
January. and Council Bluffs was covered up
with a couple of feet OF snow. | was asleep In
the smoker when tho conductor came along
and gave me the shoulder bunch and yelled.
Council BlufTs-this is whore you fall off. at
me. and that was the first / knew that l wasn't
booked any further than Council Bluffs. In
stepping Off the train l slipped and fell on the
ice. and | came Town on the pint bottle that l
had in my rear right hand pocket. Gentlemen.
that was the bItterest moment OF my Lie. ] do
not refer to the broke en- PARTICLES OF glass that
ADHERED her =. to G and II rnReet 1Tt q me; tS put o, e" be de,
midwinter morning with two feet of snow on
the ground and nary the price in. your clothes.
and then to have Il whole carefully nursed pint
go smash on you-well. | sim ply submit il to the
club II that was MT hardrr'n wrought nails.'
1T was darker than ink when / pickle my
self up and tried to look around; resumed No.
lot. There wasn't a soulat the station. and the
waiting rooms were locked up tight: | looked
shyoq a biz the ssss TSSltI9g r rSH@ M Nii STSYnd 9 ths
bottom. standing in the middle OF the room :
but its heat wasn't for me. When my train
the snow. overcoatless with thin summer russell
shoes on. and q, thirst that, up to tina, hour. had
previously-well. | was almost sorrythat | had
nos been good. might even venture to say
my past career. / almost found myself def
cient in some few respects. had to keep A.
town. 1 had to make the first track in the
snow myself, and 1t wasn't easy walking Now.
IT wa pretty cold. and | remGmnered that my
short, ,grisly chnekle, anyhow, out OF that, suit
Of undnrwear | had on when thought about
got four suits Of it while l was doing my eight
months sober act in Chicago and on velvet.
other three, suits. The grim, humor of. the
blooming, idea got q GhaEtly laugh out of me
that black morning in Council Bluffs.
c, TThG s,d 5Ts t slSn% OF Of III lama | caught n n sight G5r6o of
fam fa IsSM 2 that HTn was T Jus 4 op 's n up IN a at F SrnSt
; o'clock. didn't have the dime, but l went
in. ANYHOW. There was q young fellow with a
walked in and, over, to the stove. At. that I
guess ! must have been Il good deal Of an ap-
partition to him. | had on a black cutaway
coat. worstcd trousers. the summer russcts and
a black derby. aud l had about three inches Of
snow all over me.
'"',Been dom a Job p the young fellow behind
"'JobY said /. for ]. didn't understand him
exactly. being a heap dazed with the cold and
""'Where did you lenye your tools p he asked.
and then ! got next to his meaning | told him
hadn,t got AROUND 1qId t" ! th SeocarIa tracking game yet
at that. he. said consolingly, and then told
BIudssGleiHikeP ' sSsil,. a M%fP t Z S0 he say a and ifi I s6o9
found out that he was from Chicago.
tall bottle. and when ] told him | wasn't buy;
ing, he said that he hadn't supposed ! was, and
wasn't fef ' Then he he Vent @SgnG to the e9 Sa"k room room
and cooked his breakfast Of steak. fried eggs
and potatoes. and invited me to jumn at It with
he got better treatment than this that / had
chuckcd, at me from the Go.off at poor cd
Council Bluffs. it's up to him to spell IL out.
by, the time got through with that break
fast l had rcconsidereh my vague idea of going
d rwn to the Missouri and honpinG in between
ice foes. | was about rra1yto go ont and rake
a walk around-it was then long after dayliGht-
when n customer came in. He and my friend
the harkeep got into n bit OF talk in the back
room, and then the customer came out and
asked me If ! wanted a couple Of days work.
He was the leading printer Of the town. and he
had n lot Of new. calendars that he wanted to
have distributed around. | took the Job on tie
spot. He took me IN to his printing shop. aud
picked a pretty good Irish friczc ulster on Il
hook in his Office.
This is my No. 2 blanket lie said to me-.
hut / don't wear It any, Put it on. II it fits
You it's yours. II Won want IT
Il started out with n bunch Of the calendars
under my arm and put in a whacking days
work, The printer gave, mo So that night |
got a room for u half and a meal for two bits,
and had s ] - velvet. The rum was cut out.
for II was up to me 10 turn II win-outt trick then.
l finished the Notwithstanding job the
next day. and got another 81, The printer
asked me what was going TO do.
"'Wcll. IN tell YOU. he said. there's one Of
thes" here travelling meSmcrist fnkirs here that
I've printed "A lot of bills for. and he wants
them scattered around. right, He's going to
give his show at the hall here tonight. Want
To stack up against him z .
met the lonG-heardrd ,mesmcrist and
made a So arrangement with him to scatter "a
cpunIr of thousand hunllillS over the town.