Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1899-08-03
THE PARABLE OF TRUSTS.
Being an Account Of How an 0verproduc-
tIon Beqat Mark Hanna.

| ocBuN ~ ACCVuuI u uVW ~ Ou0s Psv vesS
tIon Begat Mark Hanna.
| Now in the days when the people had
chosen q new king over the American.
ties and men stood upon the walls OF
the cities and cried aloud for sound
money, there came great overproduc-
tion upon the land of America. And
the overproduction was Of such ex-
cee6ing dimensions that all men were
taken with it. And because of the
great overproduction many men hun
gered and thirsted. and there were
those who had not raiment with which
to cover themselves, and there were
those who wore bare feet because that
there was an overproduction of can
dals.
And the people found much fault
with, the overprodaction, and they
gathered themselves together and cried
one to another: Behold, here am l.
I have not of food. yet there is an
overproduction OF food" And the
wise men OF the party answered and
said unto them. s'Verily. this is be-
cause Of thy underconsumption." And
the people were amazed and departed
each into his own home. saying,
"VeriIy, the Republican party doth
live."
Now it came to pass that a certain
rich man who had great wealth and
precious stones and possessed many
slaves, even unto those whose votes |
and influences in Legislatures be had
purchased. And this mans name was
called Rockefeller, because he was
possessed of much rocks. And he came |
unto the wise men of the Legislatures
saying: Behold, there is a great |
overproduction in the land and the
people cry against it. / will relieve
them Of a portion of the burden by
taking unto myself the oils of the
land and will hold the oils that they
may not cause an overproduction and
burden the people,"
And the wise men of the Legislative
halls had much joy and cried aloud,
saying: "Oil hail Rockefeller, for in
him do we put our trust.'' And the
people hearing the loud rejoicing
caught up the words and cried, "Trust,
trust" And henceforth was Rookie
feller known as trust
And it came to pass that Rockefeller
waved mighty and fat. And he took
the oil of the country and stored it into
tanks that there be no overproduction.
And those of the people who failed to
give over their oil were cast into pris-
on and their oils were taken. And
when all the oils had been taken, the
men who had gathered oil were idle
and were sent to hunt for other labor.
But there came upon the land
great overproduction of coal. And so
great was the overproduction that few
m en- had fuel for their fires. So there
came good Samaritan out of the
crying: ''Behold, come
to relieve you of your overproduction
of coal. As has my brother Rockefeller
done, so will do likewise" And he
bought up many wise men of the Leg
islatures and went about and gathered
together all the coal into his bins and
storehouses. And the people and those
who sat in the market places again
took up the cry, saying, "Trust,
trust
And there came men from every land
seeking to relieve the overproduction,
for the glad tidings had spread abroad.
And the coal trust begat the railroad
trust, and the railroad trust begat the
steel trust, and the steel trust begat
the gas trust, and the gas trust begat
the sugar trust, and the sugar trust
begat the tobacco trust, and the tobac-
co trust begat the whiskey trust, and
the whiskey trust begat the electrical
trust, and the electrical trust begat the
telephone trust, and the telephone
trust begat the paper trust, and the
paper trust begat the ink trust, and
the ink trust begat the news trust, and
the news trust begat the tire trust, and
the tire trust begat the tack trust, and
the tack trust begat the food trust.
and the food trust begat the medicine
trust, and the medicine trust begat the
coffin trust, and the coffin trust begat
the cemetery trust, and the cemetery
trust begat q certain centurion, one
Mark Hanna.
And Mark Hanna was the greatest |
of the trusts and knew all the trusts |
and had dealings with them. And
when it was come to the time when no
more trusts might be formed and the
overproduction still was, Mark Hanna
called the trusts together. saying i
Behold, we have it all. We are but
waiting for an air trust and sun
trust and it will be completed. But
the people see not that we are good
and kind and are crying for another
King who will not deal in trusts.
Therefore, let those of us who can go
out into the highways and byways and
Cry aloud, Down with the trusts !'I
And the people will again be with US
and will vote with us and will say,
Verify, we have killed the trusts"
And the trusts did as was hidden
and all was well. And certain man
of the Sugar Trust who was called
Havemore, because that he was ex-
|ceedingly greedy, became scattered
from his fellows and became wan
derer and was lost. And certain of
his tribe took him up into the temple
and sat him upon a seat. And he
opened his mouth and taught them,
saying, "Verily, 1 have taken from
the people many cubits of shekels. 1
am the Sugar Trust. 1 am a wise