Daily inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1881-1901, 1899-10-11
HIS NAME WAS "BONES."

II wasn't born cross-eyed or club-foot-
ed" said the mar from Montana, as he
made a vicious bite at the end of a fresh
cigar. land things have gone fairly We'll
with me in a business way; yet there is
one thing which never comes up to me
without my feeling like committing MUIR
der. My father named me 'B%onaparte.'
AS a child l was. of course, called 'Bony,
but as soon as old enough to get out into
the street, the boys shortened that to
Bones and Bones l am to this day. I'm
telling you that no maj who is Bill Or
Joe.or Tom ever gets up in the world be-
yond a certain point. He may be known
as a good fellow, but your familiarity
with him loses him your respect, and you
u~ndervalue him. Let a man get a nick
name after he has conquered fame, and
it helps him; but people are not helping
Jacks and Jins and Petes to congression-
al hOnOrs or to & OvernOrships.
THAT name Bones excited ridicule and
contempt. I licked fifty different kids
for loading it on me, but it stuck. 1
went to Sunday school and day school as
Bones l went to college and to business
as Bones If my name a beer George,
or Reginald, or Harry, people would have
considered that l had feelings: but as it
was, any old thing was all + light for
Bones No Introduction was considered
necessary. Being named Bones / must
be a good fellow, and good fellows never
stand on
"The name kept me back at school and
college; and, though I fell in love with "a
dozen different girls before I was twenty
three, they all gave me the shake on ac-
count Of the name.
II finally packed up and took a skip of
a thousand miles, for the sole purpose
of getting rid of Bones I simply used
the initial, and after three months I was
up in the new community. l opened. Ia
store, began to court a girl, and the beo-
pie insisted that I take the postmaster
ship. I'd have had it, and probably a.
wife at the same time, but for the advent.
of one of my Old acquaintance. He
dropped into town, called me Bones and
knocked me into the middle of the last
century. Nobody had any use for a mar
with such a name. There was no weight.
no dignity to it. 1t would have been all
right for a Digger Indian or a Chinan,an.
but even the Hanks and Sans and Abes
scoffed at it. 5E#
AS a matter of fact, it was a man
known to everybody as %Snub-nosed Bill
who started the move to freeze me out.
In sixty days l took another jump. and
settled down in a new place. I was al
most Immediately asked to run for the
state senate. / had accepted, and the;
campaign had opened with a certainty of
MY OelIlS d WlI'tleT, when L was again
given away. ] knew how. it would be.
Within twenty-four hours I was asked to
withdraw. and another candidate was
put up. The local papers even tried to
make 1T out that I was a villain for hay.
ing played the public.
MY third skip landed me in Montana.
I'm there yet. I'm Bones to every man,
woman. and child for one hundred miles
around. Pm Bones to my cow-puncher
and Bones to every tramp who comes
along. and I'm given the throw-down for
no other reason. For the last month I've
been working a political racket which
was designed to land me in congress after
a while. 1t has cost me a good deal of
thought and considerable money, and
this forenoon l was dead sure of success.
But II forgotten my hoodoo, YOU see. An
hour g l received this telegram from
one of my workers. See what he SAYS:
" No use. They got on to 'Bores.' and
the deal is off, minneapolis Tribune,