Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-27

|
It will tumble just 20 degrees in an hour.
| While you shiver and shrink like frost
bitten flower;
That's what the quicksilver will do.
If you bring out your heavier suit for the
| And button your waistcoat anew.
And wear a high collar in arrant display,
Oh, what will the quicksilver do?
1t will start for the top like an ape on q
pole;
1t will leap like creature whom naught
control,
While the sun blazes on, vexing body and
That's what the quicksilver will do.
Washington Star.
John Philip Sousa has an intense dis
like for the mutilation of his musical
compositions. To hear one of his
marches played out Of tune or time not
only sets his teeth on edge, but provokes
his anger beyond his power of resistance.
Not long ago he came down from his
home in Yonkers on the Hudson to New
York, and in front Of the Grand Central
station he heard an organ grinder playing
The Washington Post March" He was
turning the wheel with the utmost slow
ness and extreme irregularity. 1t sound
ed like a funeral march. Sousa stood it
as long as he could and then rushed
across the street and exclaimed: That's
not the way to play that. Don't do it any
more. It's awful How should I
RF2 PLASTER ASKED the grPGsr Y9eassYTShy
way. Let NE show YOU" and he took
the crank into his hands and turned it
with so much spirit and vigor that he
soon had a crowd around him. Thank
YOU" said the Organist. WHO are YOU"
play that march. - Thank you, SIR re-
piled the organist, bowling profoundly.
The next day SOusa came to town on the
same train and found the same organ
grinder in the same place playing The
Washington Post March" just as he had
been taught the day before, but with
much greater success. Murmuring and
evidently awe~stricken spectators We're
dozens deep circled around the musician.
Sousa forced his way to the front to see
the cause Of the excitement. He found
1t. On the organ was large canvas
sign reading: The WASHINGTON Post
March, Composed by John Philip Sousa.
Played by a Pupil of Sousa.' Mr.. Sousa
has not given any more music lessons to
strangers.-P Philadelphia Evening Post
When little child the Princess Veto
ria went with her mother to visit Queen
Adelaide. tells Golden Penny. The Ouch
ess of Kent was obliged to leave the
little one alone with the Queen for some
time, and the latter, to make the prin-
cess feel at home, said: NOW. my dear
you have an hour to spend with me. and
you shall do exactly as YOU like
Exactly as l like" said the little prin-
cess. dOubtfully.
Yes" replied the Queen. little imagin
ing what was to follow
Then, dear Aunt Adelaide" said the
child may [ be allowed to clean the
windows?"
Queen Adelaide was startled, but the
Lttle one had her way, setting to work
with sleeves carefully rolled up and an
apron tied around her waist.
TOT
1T seems almost Incredible" said the
railroad man. but l saw a man the 9th
or day that couldn't give an intelligent
description of his wife. He came into
the office to get TRANSPORTATION. On the
margin of the ticket are places where
the agent can punch out very good
description of the person that is entitled
TO use the ticket in their possession.
II asked this man first how old his
wife was. He could not tell within five
years.
Next. I asked him how tall she was
The best | could ascertain was that She
was not very tall, neither was she very
short. ] punched out the word medium
and let it go at that
Next, | asked the man what the color
OF his wife's eyes are. He studied for q
tull half minute and said he be darned
# he was sure whether they were light
blue or light gray.
W hen 1t came to the color of the
woman $ lair he was again in a guam
dairy. de was not dead sure whether il
was dark brown or black.
1he only thing this husband was sure
OF was that his wife was slim. Duluth
News.
y schOOmaster in a village school had
been in the habit of purchasing pork from
parents of his pupils on the occasion of
the killing of the pig. One day a small
BOY marched up to the masters desk.
ana inquired If he would like a bit of
PORK, as they were going to kill their
pig. The schoolmaster replied in the af-
hrmatVe Several days having elansed
and hearing nothing Of the pork. the mas
ter called the boy up to him. and INQUIRED
the reason he had not brought it ooh
please, SIT, the boy replied, the pig got
BETTER
Fear of the hoodooing influence of q
croSs-eyed man caused great worry to
Lavlnia Lally, prominent woman law
yer, who argued a case in the Supreme
court IN New York the other day. Has
the judge, she asked in a whisper to
the clerk, the right to make a man sit
wherever he chooses in this courtroom.
or can a man sit wherever he wishes. no
matter what the judge may say?'' Il
have never heard Of such an application
being made here. Why do YOU ask?'
replied the clerk. well" the Portia
replied, and she looked worried there is
cross-eyed man sitting right across the
table from me, and no matter which
way he looks he keeps one Of his eyes
fixed on me. [ am beginning to feel that
he is hoodooing me- The woman law
Yer was assured that the cross-eyed man.
who was a lawyer, too, in the case, could
not hypnotic the scales Of Justice but
she declared if the case goes against her
she Will know the reason.
When Nelson e. Miles was promoted
from colonel to brigadier- general, his
close rival was Col. Stanley, says Brook
Ign Life. 1t is said that Stanley was
out walking with friend one night. at
his Western post, when he stopped sud
denly and pointed to the sky. and said:
BY George, isn't that a magnificent
Star!'
1T is, Stanley" said his friend. who
then added referring to the single star
as the insignia of the brigadier- generaD.
but, old man, there's Miles between YOU
and that star.''