Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1899-08-24
50. .sG..SiZ.
! The"Knocker"
By Kenneth Harris.
Is: 7IS S 5l 'sS7 az! .S IIS' III. ':I.' ..'


patent-medicine almanacs.
The little druggist with the convex
spectacles looked around at his assist
ant as he came from behind the pre-.
scription case and took Gown n bottle
labeled Iris Fl. P" but made no com
ment. The two girls who were sitting
on the rotary stools consuming ice
cream giggled, however, and looked
at each other with admiration of the
soda-water clerks biting wit plainly
expressed in their eyes.
They're going to jump right in and
shake up the West side till its teeth
rattle loose" continued the soda-water
clerk, picking up handful and look
ing at it. Listen to this, will you:
Mrs. Mary Bassmore Dugan and Rev. O
B. Varney will address the meeting.
Say! You don't want to miss that, girls
What time shall l call around for your
why, Mr.. Verjoos!" said one of the
girls.
I'D hate to have you get sarcastic
about me-" said the other girl.
II want to hear the chairman intro
duce our dear and gifted sister, whose
eloquence has done so much for our
cause, pursued the soda-water clerk,
obviously gratified. you never heard
Mary, did you? Well, she's great, they
tell me. She amt quite got Rev. Ora
torical Blatherskite Varney's burning
flow, but it's pretty hot stuff, and il
runs easy. wouldn't want TO be around
her with any tur:itude on me when she
turns herself loose"
The two girls giggled again and the
saltwater clerk rinscd out some
glasses and polished them with a
checked cloth, smiling complacently.
Me and the rest of the Y. NJ. c. a. boys
arc going to get up an auxiliary move
ment," he observed, when the giggling
had subsidized. Cant you girls do any
thing for the true and the beautiful"
Wen think about it and let you
know" said one of the young women
as she rose and smoothed down her
skirt
"Well, 0 reservoir" said the SODA
water clerk.
"You ought to be easy on people, ;" re-
monstrated the druggist, emerging
from behind the prescription case
again. "They can't all be like you"
Its too bad" said the clerk. "I'm
sorry for people. That's no josh; I'm
sorry for EN-"
"You ought to be-" said the druggist.
"But then we can't all sit on the fence
and boot; some of us have got to do
something"
The soda-water clerk looked puzzled.
81 mean," explained his employer,
chat we've got to do something besides
turning on tap of gas and water. You
never did anything else, did you?
Somebody's got to play ball, don't you
understand. We can't all be among the
bleachers, criticising the game. I'll tell
you about that, William. When I see a
boy who's player himself and has got
two or three crippled fingers to show
for it make a few remarks"
81 suppose my experience is limited"
interrupted the soda-water clerk, ca
ressing his curl, but as far as it has
gone never heard player make few
remarks that could be SEEN"
Thanks" said the druggist. 81 was
going to say that while ! don't mind
listening to what player has to shout
about tho gameit gives me sharp twinGe
up and down my back to hear some
smart little dough-faced yawp who
couldn't run a base, and wouldn't if he
could, get gay with good men who are
doing their best. What is there wrong
with this Luxembourg hall meeting?'
There amt nothing wrong with it as
I know Of" replied the soda-water
clerk. 81 understand, they're going TO
reform everything that is wrong. When
Mrs. Mary-wait minute-ycs, Mrs.
Mary Bassmorc Dugan and Rev. o. b.
Varncy get together in Luxembourg
hall there's not going to be much show
for anything wrong. I'm surprised/at
your luSlnuauOn.
do you know anything about
them?" asked the druggist.
"Why, now You mention it, and come
to think of it, l don't believe 1 ever
heard of them before. They're good
names, though. l don't think I ever
heard any better one"
"Well, you want to make allowances
for them" said the druggist. They're
probably trying to do good in their
poor, weak way. Somebody thinks
enough of them to go to the expense of
having handbills printed. l don't sup
pose they're bright intellectual people
like you. They probably wouldn't have
sufficient humor to see anything funny
in those obituary verses on Our Little
Pearl that tickled you so yesterday,
and they don't know enough TO get
their names changed TO suit you, but
YOU don't need to knock them"
81 hope haven't broke up heir meet
ing by what said to them two girls, "
said the saltwater clerk.
81 don't believe you have" said the
druggist, land it wouldn't make any
particular difference to you if you had,
so long as you thought you could say
something funny about it. Anidiot like
you'll don't mean to intimate that
you're an idiot; I'm talking in an abb
stract sense-an idiot like you doesn't
care what he knocks. He knocks every
thing and gets to be a little cheap
llnoclier if some good friend doesn't
give him some advice.
Its all right as long as you don't
take anything out of my wages for it"
said the saltwater clerk. ITS gratis,
amt it9'
at doesn't cost you a cent" said
the druggist, reassuringly. 81 was just
going to remark that nobody ever says
or does anything that Mr., Knocker can't
play horse with. It's the easiest thing
in the world, and some people make a
I:r;,o. ~ - Nou'va CrOt To pot ont OF