The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1899-11-08
THE AlEAFauR RlEoRl[ER.
Night in q Sleeping Car With thu
Snoring ALan.

Chicago Tribune: There was q dls'
turbahce In the sleepinE car .:Vayas-
our" Of the New York limited.
There was no trouble In locating Il.
Il came from one Of the beIthS u
section No s, where 4 large. be4Ey pas
senger was performing an lmpromptu
solo, the refrain being something like
'Ngkl sing! 'Ngk-k.k-k-k!kngkl
Gn'ngk -k-k.k.B-B-g.gk! AW-W:E-We
Gr-r-r-r-r.sagk! Gngk-ngk ing -ngk!
OO-OO-oO-O oO-woogrl"
There were variations, but this Geem-
| e dto be the burden Of the song.
The recital had been In progress
considerable time. and symptoms Of I'M
| patience on the part of the audience
began to manifest themselves.
Ring on"
"Give him aiF!"
Live Il down, old mani"
Tell my mother l died for my eoun-
'Louderl''
Put the rest Of It In writingl"
Shut the box,"
DO II In ragtime!'
KIN 1t! strangle 1t! Give It Dc
boots!"
But the solo went on,
"sn-gk! Ng-ng-ng-ng-ngkl Ah-oo-
oo-oo-oorp! Gi-gi.gf
The curtains Of the opposite berth
opened, and in the dim light q large,
bonY hand was seen grasp!ng the
southern extremity Of a cane.
The cane presently was seen 70 Be
feeling its way across the intervening
space. It parted the curtains that hid
| the musician from view. The curve at
the end Of 1t hooked itself around q
large, fat arm and then the stick was
pulled backward with a decisive jerk.
Hey? Hey2 Wha-What's the mat
| teri" exclaimed husky voice.
"ThAt's what I'm trying TO hnd out,
replied the owner Of the bony hand. 'Ig
It something that will yield to treat
ment? Did you ever take liver pills for
it?"
what are you disturbing me fort
What do you want? Who the deuce are
I'm q committee OF one to ascertain
/ on behalf Of this carload OF suffering
people what It IL that ais you, and to
see II something can't be done. Are
you open to any Offers Of compro-
"a Are you drunk, sir, or are you only
crazy
Never mind what my trouble g..
What we want to know-and ask It IN
perfectly respectful manner-is
ment TO Seren0de the passengers In this
coach, and whether or not it's q whole
night stand. Because, II 1t is"
'Ehl" snorted the fat passenger, now
thoroughly awake. YOU'RE taking a
good deal on yourself, sir!"
II am. And took good deal before
made any kick. I'm the last man on
earth to trespass on the rights Of other
people. but"
was It you who woke me up?"
II cannot tell q lie. I did 1t with my
little cane
"Confound you, sIr!"-and he threw
his legs out over the edge OF the berth
-''lf you're hunting for trouble"
Wait moment, said the other, re-
verslng his cane. "If you come any
nearer I'll sink an oil well into YOU.
Let us discuss this matter in a spirit Of
friendly Investigation. You haven't
half the excuse for losing your temper
that have"
A dozen heads were thrust out from
as many berths, and a dozen pairs Of
ears were listening with keen interest
to the discussion.
1.-THE Pullman-Wagner combination
charges me 81 for the use of this pad
ded SHELF" resumed the owner Of the
cane, with the implied agreement that
am to have nights sleep. You have
murdered that sleep. You killed It OF
before even
BLANK. dash you!" roared the beety
man. i've paid 81. too! What right
have you"
so have wei" shouted dozen voices,
one after the other.
was talking In my sleep" de-
mnnded the aggrieved colossus. slightly
checked by this unexpected demonstra-
ton.
mo. you were not talking" respond
ed the committee Of one. you were
giving an Imitation Of a Wagner con-
cert, with boiler factory acc0mpani.
ment and fog-horn obllgato. You
were snoring. sir. to beat the Pullman
band. DO we hear an apology, sir? Any
expression Of regret7 Any promise Of
reformatEaH?"
mo! I'll see you all dummed hrstw
'"Then, sir, you are out Of place in
this car You ought to travel In hos
train. No man has right 10 spoil tho
sleep ef two or three dozen other men.
No man with a snore like yours has any
business to take It with him on a night
journey where civilized human beings
have to run up against It. In heavens
name, can't you sleep sitting up? Can't
you stay awake awhile and give the
rest OF US a chance? Can't you gag
yourself with the pillo? It's about the
right size. Can't you throw yourself
from the train? Can't you take-stop!
I'm talking. You've snored at me Tor
nearly an hour. and It's my turn. I
have only few more words to say to
you, though, Human endurance has q
limit, and II ! don't get any sleep this
night fli see that you don't. you turn
that corn-sheller loose again. my dear
friend. and I'll wake you up again-ev-
cry time" ss
'If he doesn't we will" shouted the
other voices, one after the other.
1t is hard to squelch snoring flend,
but II can be done,