Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-11-10
THEY ARE GREAT BUFFERS.
to Any Argument but
Force.

ssThe key to the situation is this"
said veteran shipper, discussing the
crisis in affairs at Bluefelds: "a Cen
trail American invariably takes it for
granted you are bluffing. That's why it
is so easy to skin them alive at poker.
When a native official says one thing,
he always means another, and, there
fore, when he wants to tell the truth he
is obliged to tell lie. The thing sounds
paradoxical, but it's a cold fact. Ethics
are topsH -turvy down there, and the
only way an American can arrive at
the native point of view is by standing
on his head Now, Torres, for instance.
has supposed all along that our govern
ment was joking, and if the Detroit was
to pitch shell into his custom house
he would be greatly astonished on two
counts. First, that the cruiser really
had any ammunition, and, second, that
it meant business. This was illustrated
in 1894, when the Nicaraguans arrested
an Englishman for fun and put him in
Jail. His home government promptly
demanded an indemnity of $4,000. and
the Nicaraguans nearly died laughing.
How droll are these Britishers,' they
exclaimed, and went off again into fits.
In a few days a warship appeared at
Corinto and the captain sent word that
he would give the officials IL hours to
fork over the cash. Again there were
roars of merriment. 1t was regarded as
solemn, ponderous Anglo-SaXon jest.
When ten hours elapsed the captain
sent word once more. suggesting that
non-combatants hunt cover, and with
that he cleared the ship for action.
The officials were thunderstruck. Why
didn't you tell us you meant it?' they
demanded. Il did, said the captain.
But, all, senor,' they protested, you
should have added that you meant that
you meant it, and also that you intended
to carry out your Intentions The up
shot of it was that they hustled like
blazes and paid the money. Since then
they have never molested an English
mar.
''They do all their fighting on bluff, y
continued the veteran, land find II
cheaper than gunpowder and just as
effective. Take the last revolution, for
example. Reyes small army, mostly
Americans, was marching up from Grey
town. They could have annihilated the
few ragamuffin soldiers under ZelaYa's
general, and the latter knew it. What
did he do? Why, he simply put up a
bluff 4 have 500 men behind that hill,'
he said through messenger, and also
quantity of artillery. 1 am about to
slay you. but if you surrender quietly
I will refrain Being unused to such
tactics the Americans surrendered.
The way Reyes lost his gunboat was
also exceedingly amusing. He sent 1t
out to eat up a small tin-clad which had
been loaned to Zelaya. The tin-clad
came along, picked up the gunboat and
sauntered off with it, and that ended the
war The incident reminds me of the
old story of the starving mechanic, who
in desperation resolved to turn high
wayman. Securing a section OF lead
pipe, he hid in a doorway, and when a
strapping big fellow happened to core
along he hit him q terrific blow On the
back of his bull neck. The lead pipe
wrapped around the big mans throat
like a scarf, and be walked of with it
whistliug Annie Laurie There goes
nv last chance said the honest me-
chanic. That was the way with Reyes.
To return to the Bluefields affair. all
that is necessary for us TO do is to con-
vince Gen Torres and his friends that
we mean business. To that end threats,
messages. correspondence and diplonl-
aey are perfectly useless 1t is abso-
iutely essential to use a club. but one
light swipe viii be sufficient. Trouble
viii. then instantly end. and all there
after viii be peace. harmony and broth
eriy Iove."-N. o. Times-Democrat.