West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1899-06-22
A MODEL LOVE LETTER
Written by JEFF LipscOmb, OF Tucker
County, In the Palmy Days OF Mis-
COurJing

Tucker county recently with the
Editorial excursion and while the
train was waiting at Parsons,
certain party who begged us not to
give him away, came into the car
hunting for deacon" Brown and
when we answered roll call, he took
us aside and showed us the follow.
ing model love letter as u specimen
of Tucker county gallantry in
woOing the fair sex. IIe said it
was one Of JEFF LIpscomb's letters
20 young widow and as ne bad
gotten the widow himself, the let
ter fell into his hands and having
been u constant reader" of the
write ups between JEFF and us. he
concluded to give the letter and
JeH both away to us, and here it is:
My Dear Mrs.--Every time |
think OF you my heart hops up and
down like churn ddsher. Srnsa-
tions OF unutterable Joy clper over
1T Ike young goats on u stable roof.
and thrill through it like Spanish
needles through pair Of tow linen
trowers.-As "A gosling swimmeth
with a delight in mud-puddle. so
swim in sea of glory. Visions
OF ecstatic rapture thicker than the
hairs OF backing brush, and
brighter than the hues Of a hum
ming birds opinions, visit me in
my stu mbers; and borne on their
Invisible wings your image stants
before me, and ] reach out to grasp
1t, like pointer swapping at
blue. bottle fly. When | first be-
held your angelic perfections
| was bewildered. and my brain
whlrled around like bumble-bee
under a glass lumber. My eyes
stood open like cellar doors in
country town, and ! lifted up NV
ears to catch the silvery accents Of
your voice. My tongue drank i'm
the sweet Infection of love as
thirsty man swalloweth tumbler
OF hot whlskey punch or Randolph
county egg nOg.
Since the light Of your face fell
upon my life. | sometimes feel as if
| could lift myself up by my boot
straps to tho top of the church
steeple, and pull the bell rope for
singing school. Day and night
you ure in my thoughts. When
Aurora blushing like bride, rises
from her saffron colored couch;
when the jay bird pipes her tune
ful lay IN the apple tree by The
spring house; when the chant
ceer's shrill clarion heralds the
coming morn; when the awaken
ing pig arlseth from his bed and
grunteh, goes forth for his morn
ing refreshments; hen the drowsv
btetIo whstls to iioning GIgh; Of
sultry noon It'd; md when the
lowing herds come lone at. milk
ing time, | think OF thee; and ike
piece of gun elastic, my heart
seems stretched clear across NV
bosom. Your hair is like the name
OF n sorrel horse powdered with
gold; and the brass pins steward
through your waterfalls fills me
with unbOund,d awe. Your fore
head is smother than the elbow of
an old coat, your eyes are glorious
TO behold. La their liquid depths
| see lcglons Of lLtle cupids bath
ing like cohort Of ants nm on old
army cracker. When their fire hit
me upon my manly breas it pene
trated nv whole anatomy, as a
load Of bird shot through rotten
apple. Your nose is from chunk
of Pirian marble, and your mouth
Is puckered with sweetness. Nee
tar fingers on your lips. like honey
on bears paw; aud myriads of
uniedged kisses are there. ready
TO fly out and light somewhere. like
blue birds out Of their parents
nest. Your laugh rings in nv
ears like the wild harp's strain. or
the bloat Of stray lamb on a bleak |
hillside. The dlmples on your
cheeks arc like bowers IN beds of
roses. hollows in cakes Of home.
made sugar.
! am dying to fly to thy pres
ence, and pour out the burning
eloqurnce Of my love, as thrifty
housewives pour out hot coffee.
Away from you am as melan-
choly rs a sick rat.
Sometimes I can hear the Juno
bugs OF dependency buzzing in nv
ears, and feel the cold liz,rds Of
despair crawling down my back.
Urconth foars, Ike thous and
minnows nlbble at my spirrts1nd
my soul is pierced with doubts. aq
an old cheese is bored with skip.
pcrs.
My love Tor you is stronger than
The smell Of patent butter, or tho
kick Of 4 young COW, and more an
selfish than - kittens fret cater.