The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1899-04-25
quick turn OF the head i used to know

SO we'll. and spoke
If my story had not already so madly
overleaped the bounds of all human be-
lief, l should apologize to you now. AS
| know that no one-no, not even Kit
ty, for whom it is written as some sort
of justification of my conduct--will be-
lieve me, will go on. Mrs. Washington
spoke, and walked with her from the
Saniowlie road to the turning below
the commander in chiefs house as
might walk Dy the side of any living
woman's rickshaw, deep in conversa-
ton. The second and most tormenting
of my moods of sickness had suddenly
laid hold upon me. and like the prince
in Tennyson s poem, II seemed to move
amid world of ghosts. There had
been garden party at the commander
in chief S, and we two joined the crowd
of homeward bound folk. AS l saw
them then it seemed that they were the
shadows-impalpab fantastic shadows
that divided for Mrs Wessington's
rickshaw to pass through. What we
said during the course of that weird
interview cannot-indeed dare not
tell. Heatherlegh's comment would
have been a short laugh and remark
that had been 'mashing brain, eye
and stomach chimera. twas ghast-
| ly aud yet in some indednable way
marvelousiy dear experience. Gould it
be possible wondered that was in
this life to woo second time the wom-
an mad killed BY my own neglect and
cruelty?
met Kitty on the homeward road
shadow among shadows.
If We're to describe all the incidents
of the next fortnight in their order, my
story would never come to an end and
your patience would be exhausted.
Morning after morning and evening
after evening the ghostly rickshaw
and used to wander through Simla to-
gether. Wherever Invent there the four
black and white liveries followed me
and bore me company to and from my
hotel. At the theater I found them
amid the crowd of yelling jhampanies:
outside the club veranda after a long
evening of whist; at the birthday ball
waiting patiently for my appearance.
and in broad daylight when went call
ing. Save that it cast no shadow, the
ricskhaw was in every respect as real
to look upon as one of wood and iron.
More than once indeed have had to
check myself from warning some hard
riding friend against cantering over it,
More than once have walked down the
mall deep in conversation with Mrs
Washington to the unspeakable amaze
ment of the passersby.
Before had been out and about a
week l learned that the eft theory
had been discarded in favor of insanity.
However, / made no change in my
mode of life. ! called, rode and dined
out as freely as ever. I had passion
for the society of my kind which had
never felt before. l hungered to b
among the realities of life. and at the
same time / feltvaguely unhappy when
had been separated too long from my
ghostly companion. 1t would be almost
i impossible to describe my varying
moods from the 18th of May up to to-
day.
The presence of the rickshaw filled
me by turns with horror. blind fear, a
dim sort of pleasure and utter despair.
Idared not leave Simla. and knew that
my stay there was killing me. / knew.
moreover, that it was my destiny to die
slowly and a little every day. My only
anxiety was to get the penance over as
quietly as might be. Alternately hum
gered for sight of Kitty and watched
her outrageous flirtations with my sue
cessor-to speak more accurately. my
successors-with amused interest. She
was as much out of my life as was
out of hers. By day wandered with
Mrs. Washington. almost content. By
night implored heaven to let me re-
turn to the world as / used to know it.
Above all these varying moods lay the
sensation of dull, numbing wonder
that the seen and the unseen should
mingle SO strangely on this earth to
hound one poor soul to its grave.
Aug. -Heatherlegh has been :nde-
fatigable in his attendance on me, and
only yesterday told me that ought to
send in an application for sick leave
An application to escape the company
OF phantoml A request that the gov
eminent would graciously permit me to
get rid OF five ghosts and an airy rick
shaw by going to England Heather
legh's proposition moved me to almost
hysterical laughter. told him that l
should await the end quietly at Simla
and am sure that the end is not far
Off. Believe me that dread its advent
more than any word can say, and tor
ture myself nightly with thousand
speculations as to the manner Of my
DEATH
Shall l die in my bed decently and as
an English gentleman should die, or in
one last walk on the mall will my soul
be wrenched from me to take it's place
forever and ever by the side of that
CHASTITY phantasm? Shall return to
my old lost allegiance in the next world
or shall l meet Agnes loathing her and
bound to her side through all eternity !
Shall we two hover over the scene ct
our lives till the end of time? AS the
day of my death draws nearer the in