The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1899-01-21

couldn't borrow sOme.-Tid-Bits
Mrs. Howes-I don't know what we
are going to do. There is not a thing
n the house to eat. Uncle George-You
might take boarders.-Boston Tran
script.
lrascible Lieutenant 1down engine
room tube)-Is there a blitherng idiot
at the end of this tube? Voice from the
engine-room-Not at this end, sir
Punch.
Rural Ragges-Say. Tatts. do you
think it's right to raise the price of
beer? Tramping Tatters-Ive been
trying to raise the price of one for
week.-Life
"Vot's der dogs name, little glrl?"
at used to be 'Fido.' but l changed it
to Dewey SOS the pleeceman would let
him run on the grass and have good
time. Truth.
Cholly-Yaas, sevewal years ago
fell deeply in love with girl. but she
wejected me--made a wegular fool of
me. Molly-And you never got over it?
Brooklyn Life.
May-The horrid wretch kissed her.
Forgiven, what matter? , May
Why. you see, he was a soldier hero and
she wanted to kiss him.-Philadelphi
North American.
Subscriber-How is it that you have
printed that long poem three times in
your columns? Editor-Well, really.
didn't suppose anyone would find it out.
-Fliegende Batter.
81 understand you want to hire a
housemaid" THAT must be a mistake
| do all my own work" TOO bad! 1t
would be just the sort of place that I'd
like. "-Heitere Welt
Stubbly with conviction)-I don't be-
lieve in that young doctor. Nurse
Why not? Stubbly-Well, the medicine
he gives doesn't taste bad enough to do
any good.-BOston Globe.
Looking Forward.-Mrs. Noear-Do
you think my daughter will be must
elan? Professor giant gay. She may.
She dell me she gone of a long-lived
family.-New York Weekly.
"My impression is oracularly began
the tall bOarder, that Spain is going to
cede-" 1T would be more correct"
interrupted the solemn boarder, ito say
she has gone to seed."-Judge
Miss Sheafe-Oh! just look at that
wheat rising and falling in the breeze.
How beautiful it is. Mr.. Cityman-
All, but you ought to see it rising and
falling IN the corn exchange .-Tld-Blts
Before we were married you used to
write me three letters a day" Did l,
really| Yes. you did; and now you
get angry just because | ask you to
write me a little bit of check It'd
Bits.
Jones 0eaving for Europe)-When
I'm in Rome I'll do as the Romans do.
Smith-Indeed you won't You'll do as
the Americans do-pay twice as much
for everything as anyone else would
Puck.
Here, boy" said the man, throw
away that cigarette and smoke ci-
gar" "Yasser," replied the urchin.
Say, mister l got a whole pack OF
cigarettes in me pocket. "-Philadelphia
| North American.
A Matrimonial Observation-Disclosures
Hello. Winkers. l hear you married a
woman with an independent fortune
Winkers (sadly)-N-O; / married for
tune with an Independent woman
New York Weekly.
'Since Mrs. Black has been a Wild
Ow." he suggested, lit seems 10 me she
looks younger" "Of course" she re-
piled. 1t is more necessary now that
she should" Thus do women betray
each other-Chcago Post.
II understand you won the blue rib
Dor, so to speak, in the examination
for the civil service" "I-ah-would
hardly call it that" answered the mild
young man. Let us say won the red
tape. "-Indianapolis Journal.
Il am always grateful to my parents
for the musical education they gave
me-" said Willie Washington. but you
never sing" mo. Thanks to nv
thoughtful parents. | know enough
about music not to try. Washington
Star.
Jack-Let's play house. I'll be the
father and you be the mother. Dolly
Yes. and I'll come to you and ask you
for money to buy a new dress. Jack
Yes, there you go! That's just youi
You always want to do something to
raise ight.-Puck.
Mamma" said little Freddie one
evening, may / go out on the street
with the other boys and look at the