Gilpin observer., 1899-08-24
A Warm Proposition,

do you Know what a treat is in store for
you next Sunday? But do not think it
is for you alone. Oh no! Your sisters
and your cousins, and your aunts and
your uncles and your brothers and your
friends if any you have) and any other
old body will be just as welcome as you,
provided they do not forget to beg.
borrow or steal sufficient of the filthy
lucre to entitle them to the glad hand.
Holdups are ag'in the law, but the law
"cuts no ice" in this case. The most ar.
tistic holdup in the history of Gilpin
county will occur at the ball park in this
city next Sunday afternoon somewhere
in the neighborhood of 3 o'clock. But
no arresCs will follow. Warning is here,
by given to all peace officers to either
quietly die or else place themselves be-
yond reach before Sunday. All such
cattle found running at large on that day
will be empounded.
What is 1t all for? Why, bless your
heart, It's for our returning heroes, who
fought for their country in foreign
land and who, by reason of their patriot
ism, are entitled to something more than
mouth-honor.
The OBSERVER. at enormous expense.
has gotten together the greatest aggre-
cation of ball players in the history of
the national game. Owing to the uncer-
tainties of the sport and the probability
of majority of the players being Killed
or manned for life only one game can be
played.
IHE PRINTERS WILL PLAY THE GROCER
YMEN! Who'll win? The printers, of
course. Just read the following list of
STARS:
The great, the only, unrattleable, i'm.
perturbable Major General Press Water
man will officiats as umpire. BLACK
jack" "Rattlesnake Pete Ten Toed
Harry" and "Hobo Tom" will act as body
guard. The recent importation, Wood
son, (who already has one broken finger
and expects nine more), will stand 40 feet
behind the batsman and, with four small
assistants, chase the balls fired some
where in the vicinity of the home plate
by Phenomenon Altvater. This journal
will wager $1,000 that "Woodie' catches
one ball out of every 80 aud an equal
amount that bismarck" doesn't kill
more than eight players.
Laird, the tall quaken asp of Maryland
mountain, will enact the role of short
stop-who doesn't stop.
Slim Kelly will show the multitude
how to get away from flies in fly time
he will play center field.
A pneumatic extension ladder will be
placed at first base for the exclusive use
of Davenport who, thus equipped, is ex-
pected to at least touch one out of every
100 balls thrown by Laird, and cute lit
tie Johnnie James-the ladies' pet-who
will keep the crowd away from the k, q
at third base. If the ladder proves in
adequate, a net will be spread over the
entire field. Lanning, otherwise known
as Little Cupid" will teach the art of
smoking corn cob pipe while holding
down the will be provided with chair)
second base.
In order that his playing may not be
marred by too close observance of the
fair damsels in the grand stand, the
management has deemed it best to as
sign the position of left field to Wright,
who will be allowed only 30 minutes rest
after each chase OF n fly knocked into
his territory. Welch, the famous eques-
trian, will cover right field. Mounted on
his black charger, it is dollars to dough-
nuts that he will overtake every ball
knocked Nevadaward before the afore-
said sphere Of pigskn reaches Dogtown.
REMEMBER THAT ALL PROCEEDS WILL
BE USED TOWARD ENTERTAINING RETURN
ING COLORADO VOLUNTEERS.
In the language of the Snowman, COME
ONE, COME ALL. The price OF admission
depends upon how much money you have
with you. An honest effort will be made
to rob you in the most thoroughly up to.
date manner.
f..,,, lss