Mesa free press., 1899-02-24
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Wonders will never cease. 1 just
saw stone walk" "Pooh! That's
nothing. have often seen a brick
building. g."-Philadelphia Times.
Miss Totling-"Mis Sincoe was born
with silver spoon in her mouth" Miss
Dimling (after glance at the mouth)
Tablespoon onY-Harlem Life.
First doctor-I've got to make trip
out Of town tomorrow. Second doctor
Business or pleasure? First doctor
Both. I'm going to operate on wealthy
patient.-Life.
"This," said Mr.. Filter, sis picture
OF the only girl ever loved" "How
cleverly," said Miss Wyse, as she look
ed at the portrait, "they do get up these
composite photographer
Stranger-Is your society here very
select? Arizona Al-See them graves
over thar? They was all filled by fellers
who came to our dances without invi-
Enthusiastically Eagle.
''You look dreadfully battered; how Is
thatT 'Wife has been pelting me with
flowers" 'Why, that wouldn't mark
you In that fashion" "Oh, they were
In the pots. Judy.
"What became of Hyfiier, who made
30 much money manipulating stocks
last year" "He's still manipulating
stock. He's currying horses in West
Side barn. Chicago Tribune.
Mistress (angrily)-"See, Bridget, I
can write my name in the dust on this
mantel-piece." Bridget (adm1ringly)-
There's nothin' like eddication, after
all, is there, umY-Roxbury Gazette.
Mistress-"Sarah, how was 1t that
saw you entertaining friends In the
kitchen again last nightY Sarah
'T'm sure 1 don't know, unless you
looked through the keyhole. The
Windsor Magazine.
Mills-I have great admiration for
the colors in the Spanish flag. Brills-
Why SO? Mills-Because they are the
only things in the Spanish army that
didn't run when our boys soaked 'em.-
New York Journal.
Jill-You puckered up your lips so
then that thought you were going to
kiss me. Jack-No; got some sand In
my mouth. Jill-Well, for heavens
sake, swallow it.! You need it in your
system.-Troy Times.
"Your mother seemed very much
amused at the little story I told last
night" he said, self-approvingly.
eyes," she replied, "ever since can
remember, mother has laughed when
ever she has heard that story"
"Did you find the snakes pretty thick
down therer' "Not very thick, but
some of them were pretty long," "Oh,
you know what i mean! Were there
many round?' Cylindrical would
be better word" d."-Boston Transcript
First swell pretending to mistake for
q waiter a rival whom lie sees standing
In dress clothes at the cloak-room of the
theater)-Ah! have you q program!
Second swell (up to snuff)-Thanks, my
man; got one from the other fellow
Tit-Bits.
Cumso-Nell, Cawker, did you name
your new baby George Dewey? Cawk-
er-No. Cumso-You told me that was
your intention. Cawker-Yes. Cumsc-
Then why didn't yon? Cawker-We de-
cided, upon second thoughts, to name
her Elizabeth.-Bazar.
Customer (severely)-"Do you sell
diseased meat here" Butcher (bland-
ly)-"Worse than that" Customer lex
citedly)-"Merc on us! How can that
be possibleT Butcher (confidentially)
-"The meat sell Is dead-absolutely
dead, sir" Customer (sheepishly)-
"Oh!"-Tid-Bits.
"Plugger's dramatic school Is max
Ing a winning, I hear" Il should
rather guess. It Is the most complete
plant for the manufacture of actors
ever installed. Why, he even has
hundred feet of genuine railroad tracks
TO teach them the true dramatic stride"
indianapolis Journal.
"Say, pa" queried Willie, the other
morning while preparing his geography
lesson, "how many motions has the
earthY' 81 don't know, Willie" re-
Piled the fond parent, as he bound
towel soaked in icewater about his
throbbing brow; ''but they're numer-
Gus, quite ous."-Chicago News.
"Say," said the bookkeeper, address
Ing the cashier, and winking knowingly
1T the Office boy, "do you know any
thing about this new stamp-tax"
"Sure," replied the cashier; what do
you want to know" Suppose" con-
tinued the bookkeeper, 'that I wanted
to express my opinion, would l have
to stamp the express receipt" I'm
doubtedly," answered the cashier; "but
If you will allow me, would suggest
that you forward your opinions by
mail" "And why by mailT' asked the
autocrat Of the ledger. Because" re-
piled the cashier, "as they have no
weight, it would be much cheaper
Chicago News.