The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1899-01-14
PARLIAMENTARY ORATORY.
Some Pertinent Hints Given by an
Ex-paorkeeper of the Mouse
of

When sSmpklnson had been IN rStlre-
ment some six months or so strange
rumors began to be whispered about
among those members who had known
him best. When his name was men,
toned men would look at each other
searchingly, as if asking: Are you
in the know" Or they would retire
mysteriously to secluded corners
where they raised their eyebrows.
whistled softly, and, in a word. signified
their surprise in the usual manner.
The fact is, Simpknson had
begun 10 give private lessons in parlia-
mentary oratory TO new members and
to others who had never acquired the
art. No mere candidates were received
on any preteXt whatever. Indeed, his
pupils had to produce evidence that
they had signed the roll and taken their
seal before they were admitted TO
the Simpkinson sanctum. When once
these preliminaries had been satisfac-
torily settled Mr.. Simpkinson well
coined his honorable friends with \
courtlv urbaBity worthy Of Mr.. Speak
tT himself.
From repeated conversations l have
had with 4 few of those who do not
mind owning that they have sat at the
feet of Simpkinson, it is evident that
his course Of instruction, followed fixed
and definite lines and varied but little.
Hewould begin: "Youwil soon find that
it matters but little what you say in
the house of commons, while every
hing depends on how you say t. Ac-
Juiring what is known as the house of
commons style is more than half the
battle. Give 'em plenty of hum anil
'haw:' to 'er, err is human. you know
he would invariably laugh at this an
cient little jest, though he had made ii
a hundred times. He had great uccess
in this part of his tuition, and the me
instruction which all his pupils faith
fully carried out was contained in the
hint that the house of commons was al
ways impressed when a speaker did not
appear to know what he was talking
about, and had 10 notion what to say
next.
Having thus grounded the beginner
in the first principles Of house of COM
mons oratory-hesitation. a little stam-
mering, endless repetition. a reason
able amount of standardization and
any amount of hum and 'haw"-Mr.
SimpkinsoT would proceed 10 teach a
few of the more necessary formulate.
How and when TO remark: Il venture
TO say" or Il have yet to learn" lead
ing up by many 4 subtle graduation to
hat final climax reserved for very spe-
cial occasions: 81 even go so far as to
venture to think"-all This was care
fully explained. All this sort of
thing" he would say, may seem triv-
ial 10 a stranger. but it makes all the
difference between success and fail
ure in the house. For instance. # you
were to ask point blank: VIII any
man affirm that two and w make
four" most likely some member would
call out: Yes But if you put it like
this: VII any man come down to the
lo-se. and stand up IN his place and
venture to say that two and two make
FOUR they'i! all sit mum. 1t impresses
EN-: l don't know why, but it does.
Again. surprising you say something
which is not quite accurate-you know
what l mean-and the other side calls
out: oh. OH all you have to do is to
urn to your men and say very indig-
nantiy: L am within the recollection
of the house. and if your side knows Its
business il will cheer like mad
Windsor Magazine.