The weekly intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1891-1901, 1899-09-09
TIE wATBRMgLON BATINe CONTEST.

~
he lSTELLIGENCER had been circulated
n the street, the challenge of the Hig.
'~insville Leader was a subject Of much
ommeut. The Leader agrees to furnish
melons and pay so to the Sene-
Iamoian who could eat the most. The
1eader boosted its ''inimitable Babe
Jackson" as "the unrivaled watermelon
destroyer OF the Missouri Valley"
We thought We had a cinch 10 gather
ng In the aforesaid $40 for a Lexington
bigger. We knew there were some in
vicinity whose presence in a five acre
melon patch for ten minutes would make
he owner wonder why the cyclone didn't
down the corn. We set out to inter-
Fiew n or two. The first one was named
We don't think 1t necessary to give
bis other name, for he may have changed
his last name ts,fore this. Some Of the
race change their lanes when the occa.
sion suits them.
We were piloted up against Sam by a
white man who knew him, and when we
asked him II he would like to make $40 by
eating watermelons he exclaimed, "You
bet your life l would; how many does
hat ter eat3"
We told Sam he would have all he
wanted, and maybe a little more than he
wanted. We asked him what he would
do il Babe out-eat him. He answered:
"No niger can git away wifi more mill
lions than | kin. I'll beat that niger u
| has to eat twel l buss open. PlI hab
dat ten dollars or I'll die on de spot"
This was a revelation to us. We stopped
to think. What would be the result II
one OF the contestants should die. Too
much sugar will kill a tiy, and too much
melon MIGHT KILL A NIaGER. We con.
cluded that Sam could not enter the
contest, as he would not have sense
enough 60 quit. We might have to bury
him, and pay a life premium to his
numerous wives and children. The loss
to the community might be inconsequen-
tial, but we did not want his blood on
our hands.
The next fellow we heard Of was Nose.
He looks like a winner. Nose has a
record, and is as proud of 1t as old
John l.. Sullivan Is Of his record. Nose
said; "Yassir, Ise fond OBJ de million.
| nebber had enough In my life. Dey
agrees wild me, and de more | eat de
better | feels. don't know how many |
could eat for a ten dollar bill, but a few
, days ago l eat three big watermillions
and five big canteloups, and dey jes made
me good and hongry. don't know dat
Mr.. Jacksum, Of Higginsville, but mos
) lakly he some some cheap niger what
nebber eat no million 'cept to clean up de
, rhines after white folks. De real haht-
de juicy red meat would make dat niger
sick, case he not used to a eatin' OF it.
l bleeged to yer for de honah OBJ akin me,
but don't want to ~'sociate wild no SIGH
. niggers. When he gifts a record I'll tend
to his case"
, And Nose would not listen to any
argument. The prospect Of winning ten
dollars cut no Ice with him, il he had to
eat against a cheap niger without a
record.
The next applicant was a long, lanky
fellow called Gum. When he smiled II
looked like opening a cellar door, and we
eau certify that his teeth were all in
r place and sound. Gum is a country jake
and shows 1t In every word and motion.
. "Yas, sar, Tll eat watermillion against
e any niger In the county, or in Higgins
vile either, and II l don't win yo' money
q yo' can tie me up and gimme a hondred,
a | Ibis in de country, and l eats all the
millions l can get. Ise fraid to steal 'em
outen our home patch, case de boss got
\ 'em marked, and he knows my track,
I | goes to de %neighbors' patches an totes
d EN- in a bag to a good safe place, and
n when / eats 'em / goes back and gits
n anudder bag full, and eats 'em. I'speck
d l ct i've one night, and tuck de udder one
home to de ole woman. Yassir, ] coult
q ct two or three more, but l iraid de dog
git onto me-"
When 1t was explained to him that a
PllLo VI ~ hOiiulo Wohlh bo klNNn u
, him, and his railroad expenses would bt
n paid, and he only had TO eat ice colo
melons, his "yah ha" could have beer
heard over on the next street.
"Who gwine gimme all dem millions
| speck, boss, yo' iollin' dis niger,
n don't ride on none dem railroad kiahs.
walks wharebber | goes. Yassir, | walk
to Higginsville Of | wants to go. Wit
gimme ten dollarsY What for he glmm'
all dat money? Is dat man Mr.. Grove
crazy to glib away his money ies TO see
niger eat wstermillion? Ell he come on
whar l lib, and bring some dem goot
. millions long wild him | eats all h,
gimme, and he kin keep his ten dollars
q | amt no iooll Yo' kant get me run
MIN round huntin' no strap oil. | went
huntin' for strap oil and a left-hant
monkey-winch onct when | was a boy
" Yo' kant fool me twict on no sicl
Q doins'. No, sab, | don't go to no His
glnsville. Plenty niggers In Higginsvil
"a to eat all de millions dey is in de town
an knowed all de time ye' tryin' to foe
me. | done got to go home. | Ibis sebeI
4 miles south OBJ town, an | bleeves yC
wants to see me eat dem millions when
sees yer comm to my house wild d
millions 10 yo' wagin."
And off he went. The layout was to
isI rich for him. He could not endure to
IN much prosperity" He could not IN
derstand why anything should be give
away, when it could be sold, nor VIII
anyone wanted to pay money to see
negro eat melons, when that negro woul
eat just as freely without pay.
-, Thus the challenge stands today. W
have the talent, but cannot use it. W
have coons here who can eat more melon
III than Jackson can eat, and who woul
VI feel hurt II not given a square meal aiteI
ward, But they are afraid OF the whit
mans tricks. They have bought goI
bricks and bride watches and ointment
'o' take the kinksout OF their hair; they ha,
10 been married and Remarked; they hay
voted the republican ticket and for Il
gold standard; they have gone I'M
:" sympathy strikes" and have seen Il
ne other fellow go to work. And this beir
TX the case, Mr.. Leader, you may wear Il
he chip on your shoulder, though we kno
I'd In our hearts that you are not in it
In little bit.
by