The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-23
ANEeD07E
 NHD
 lNelpENT

The latest English golf-story Is told
 by Justice Lawrence against himself.
 He is an ardent golfer. Recently he had a case before him in which he felt 1t necessary to ask one of the witnesses, a boy, the usual question whether ho
 was acquainted with the nature of an
 oath. The ingenious youth replied: "Of course am. Amt your caddieT
 A young woman who played the pianoforte once asked Brahms, the com poser, as to the advisability of giving 8 concert in Vienna. Are you all ready" inquired Brahms. Certainly, dear master; may I play something for yOu% "Oh, no, no; meant only have you 8 new gown and gloves" "Yes, sir" Pity; otherwise I should have advised you not to give the concert"
 John Hare once sent his coachman to a certain theater to secure stalls, and the man, who knew more about stables than theaters, returned with what ap- ipeared to be a difficult verbal message. Well, did you get the stallsT' inquired the actor. ''No, sir," said the coach man; 'the stalls were all taken up, but they told me they would be pleased to .-to"-he scratched his head and then blurted out-"to put you in loose box, lsirr'
 The late Judge Charles P. Daily, of New York, was charming conversa- tionaliSt as we'll as a model citizen and an accomplished jurist He met the Duke of Wellington some fifty years ago, and the Duke remarked to him that he seemed too young to be on the bench. '1 owe my position," replied Judge Daily, ito one of those accidents of foI- tune to which your grace owes so lit , tle." II recall my criticism" said the Duke, grimly; you are doubtless where you belong"
 The recent death of Mime. AubernOn de Nerville in Paris recalls a reply once made to her by Dumas fills, who did not enjoy a certain kind of lioniZing. At dinner at Mime. Aubernon's one even- ing, he sat next to a certain general who was discOncerted by Dumas chilly manner. ''Why do you not tell the gen. eral some of your witty stOries?" asked the hostess, in whisper. Mon Dieu. madame" replied Dumas, in his most ingenious tone, ''every one to his trade Il was waiting for him to fire off cannon"
 A financial agent of the Texas penl- tentiary had warmly opposed the cleo tiOn of Gov. Houston, but was particu- larly anxious to retain his own pleas antly lucrative position. Consequently the Governor was soon in receipt of a petition in which the mans years of faithful service and special qualitica. tiOnS for the place were set forth in glowing terms by himself The Gov ernOr sent for him, and said. gravely: Tt appears from this petition that you have been in the penitentiary eIght years? Il have" was the reply. And during that time you have performed faithfully every duty that has come in your way, to the best of your ability? 'l have answered the agent. his cOur- age rising. "Then, sir" said the Gov ernOr, with the air of one cOnferring a priceless favor Il pardon you outv'
 One of the applicants for consulate in Japan, while James C. Blaine was Secretary of State, was the late Sam uel Kimberley, of Baltimore. who died in the service in Central America After he had presented his credentials. Mir. Blaine said: II should like to appoint you, Mir. Kimberley, but I have made it rule to recommend no one who does not speak the language of the country to which he is sent. Do you speak Jap aneSeY' 'Cer-t-tainly, Mr. Blaine" stammered Mir. Kimberley; "a-a-ask me sS-SOmething in J-J-Japanese and TIT a-a-anSwer you" Mir. Blaine had not word to say, but the Japanese post went to another man, all the same. and !. Kimberley went to Central America One day Kimberley met a young wom- an who threw her arms impulsively around his neck and kissed him. See . ing her mistake, she drew back and an. grily asked: Aren't you Mir. Jones?" . "NnOnO, madam" replied Kimberley. lowing; I'm n-n-nOt. but l wv wish to thunder w-w-was"