New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-04-27
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

| An old Scotch woman was walking to church with
| her family. The Aud Kirk minister rode past al
| n tremendous rate. and the old lady said to her
| children: "Siccan wey to be rdin'. and this the
| sawbath day Aweel. aweel. guide man is mar
| cifu' TO his BEAST Shortly afterward her own
minister rode past just furousy. and the worthy
old wife cried "Ah. there he goes! The Lord bless
him. pur man! His hearts in his wark an he's
eager TO be at IT.
Cabin troupe that was billed here last week?
Bucker Biitsooh they kind nGl OF ds6anded The h
Sheriff married Eva, and the Injuns ate the dogs
(Puck.
"a European government servant" says 1.-THE
Singapore Free Press" was recently married
to a native woman In Samarang by the Mahometan
ceremony 1t took place in the mesjib. and 1t was
conducted by the penghulu but the bridegroom was
not present He had given written notice that he
would not put in an appearance, but he sent his
hat and that was, according to native custom.
quite sufficient She married the hat"
electric light wire has blocked frame and one
knows whether II is live wire or not.
Managing Edtor-Deta two reporters to go to
the wire mmedately-one TO feel II and the other
to write the result-(Chicago Record
This Is how a Chicago reporter describes pleas
ant day: Yesterday was inspiring here in Chicago
FIeecy clouds hoated athwart a sky Of amethyst.
Tho lake was glorious In green. blue, purple and
deep violet tints The sweep Of the gulls was ma
iestc The wind that blew across the velvety
lawns In the parks exhilaratng. and one stand
ine at the edge OF the clear cool water at evening
saw II he looked toward the roseate west. sky
line that was magnihcently broken. and color
scheme that surpassed the most extravagant dream
of the artist"
"If YOU were a man." said the bashful youth 10
the viyaclous girl "and you wanted to propose to a
girl, would you study the forms In book on ell
e1"Well." she replied thoughtfully, looking at 4;
from one point Of view, that might not De oaa
From one point of view?" he repeated. inquir'
Eyes; book of etiquette would show you s some
OF the methods you should avoid."-(Chicago Post.
THE Chicago Record" reports trouble in local
freak museum, all on account OF the two-headed
girl. One head has decided to join the Audubon
Society and the other one won't
Jeweller-so you're dissatisfied with the watch
sweet Young Thlng-The doesn't open far
enough to let me get my lips to his picture
(Jewelers Weekly.
Express-cars are now running on the streetcar
tracks of Pittsburg. They are built on the same
nrinciple as the United States mailcars," says
1.-THE Dispatch" There are two doors, one In
front and one In the rear. The interior is made OF
the finest wood, and has several shelves for pack
ages All along the route yesterday people looked
with curiosity on the car. Few had any idea
to what use II was to be put In Mckeesport
focks OF children ran after the car, imagining 1t
was one OF the show variety"
you Americans call things by such queer
names" said the Englishman.
WHATS wrong now?" asked the New-Yorker.
'Why call these things elevators. when they take
people down as often they take them up?' -
Well what n do you call them in your country
We'll / can't see that the word hit expresses
their use any better than elevator y -
'Oh, yes, II does. Don't you know you can lift
persons down, as we'll as lift them up7'-(Yonkers
Statesman.