Omaha daily bee., 1899-12-17

STORIES" rs they are also called. and can
handle them deftly as circumstances sug-
gest. that is the most successful beggar.
There are other requirements to be OBJ
served, but unless a man has a good stock
of stories with which to fool" people lie
cannot expect to gain foothold among "the
blowed in the glass stiffs." He must also
keep continually working over his stock.
"Ghost stories" are like bounets those ;nat
are fashionable and CONNIE IL faut last wear
are this year out of date, and they must
be changed to suit new tastes and condi>
tions or be suppanted by new ones. Free
quently fresh version OF the old story has
to be improvised on the spot, so to speak
The following personal experience illus
trates under what circumstances gags" are
invented. 1t also shows how even the pro-
fessionals forget themselves and their pese
on occasions:
One morning, about eight years ago, ! ar
rived in a small town in the Mohawk valley
in company with tramp called Indianapolis
Red. We had ridden all night in box car
in the hope OF reaching New York by morn
ing, but the freight had been delayed en- ac-
count of wreck and we were so hungry
when we reached the town in question that
we simply had to get off and look for some
thing to eat. 1t was not place, as well
knew, where tramps were welcome, but the
train would not stop again at town Of any
size until long after breakfast and we de-
cided to take our chances.
We had an hour at our disposal until the
next freight" was due. The great question
was, what story we should tell and we both
rummaged through our collections to find a
good one. Finally, after each OF lis had sug-
gested number of different stories and had
N. To-, ~,
they were too old for such hostile place,
Red suggested that We try ''the deef m dunn
gag" There are several gags" OF this de-
scription and / asked him which enc hn
meant.
Let's work 1t this way" he said, and he
began to improvise. I'm your deef n dunn
brother, see? An we're on our way to New
York, where I'm going to get job. I'm a
clerk and you're seein' me down to the city
sost nothlnll happen to me. Our moneys
given out an we've simply got to ask fer
assistance We're terribly hungry, an you
want to know If the lady o. the house'll be
good enough to help yer brother along.
See?"
saw" all right enough, and accepted
the proposition, but the odds seemed againGt
us because the town was one of the most
unfriendly along the line. We picked out
house near the track. AS a rule such
houses have been begged out" but we
reasoned that If our story would go at all
it would go there, and besides the house
was convenient for catching the next freight
train.
As we approached the back door was
careful to talk to Red on my fingers, think
ing that somebody might be watching MS.
a motherly old lady answered our knock.
I told her Reds story in my best manner,
filling it out with convincing details. She
heard me out and then scrutinized Red in
the way that we all look at creatures who
are peculiar or abnormal. Then she smiled
and invited us into the dining room where
the rest of the family were at breakfast.
1t turned out to- be Free Methodist clergy
mans household. We were given places
at the table and ate as rapidly as we could,
or rather Red did; was continually being
interrupted by the family asking me ques
tions about my unfortunate brother"
WAS he born that way?" they asked in
hushed voices. How did Re learn to
write? Can be ever get well?" and other
like queries which l had to answer in turn.
BY the time had finished my meal, how
ever, I saw by a clock on the wall that we
had still fifteen minutes to catch our train
a hint that we ought to be going. We were
about to get up and thank our hostess for
her kindness when the man of the house,
the clergyman, suggested that We stay to
family prayers.
"Glad to have you," he said ''if you can
remain. You may get good out of it." I
told him frankly that We wanted to catch a
train and had only few minutes TO spare, |
but he assured me that he would not be long
and asked me to explain the situation to
Red. l did with my fingers and | ex-
planned to the Darson that Reds wlggiing !
of his hands meant that he would be de- |
lighted to stay, but wink of his left eye |
meant for me alone, said plainly enough to
"let the prayers 60"
We stood committed, however, and there |
was nothing to do but join the family in |
the sitting room where I was given a bible |
to read two verses, one for Red and one for |
myself. This part of the progress finished, |
the narson began to pray. All went we'll |
until he came to that part of his prayer
where he referred to the unfortunate
brother In our midst" and asked that Reds
speech and hearing be restored, and we
were both ashamed.
Just then Red heard the whistle of our
freight. He forgot everything, all that
had said and all that he had tried to act
out, and with wild whoop he sprang for
the door, shouting back to me as he went
put:
Hustle, Cigarette, there's our rattler'
There was nothing to do but follow after
him as fast as my legs would carry me and
did so In my livelieet manner. have
never been in the town since this experience
md It Is to be hoped that the parsons family
have forgiven and forgotten both Red and
ne. JOSIAH FLINT.
OI'p nE THE annUykny