davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01
1.-THE LOST CHORD"

How Sir Arthur SULTAN Came to
Write Thu Famous Melody.
Colonel Robert BILee Venting, a
great traveller and/ musician, tells the
following interesting story:
ut WIS wfhHhIJ; Visiting the house Of n
nobleman In England that 1 first heard
the story Of the birth Of The Lost
Chord a song that has been sung in
every quarter of the globe and which
will live forever. If ever there was
such a thing as inspiration, that song
was inspired.
There are very few Englishmen
who do not remember Fred Sullivan,
the great comic sta.' and brother Of Sir
Arthur Sullivan. He played in oil the
original Gilbert and Sullivan operas
and has never been equalcd. He wns
later followed by George Grossmith.
zone day Sir Arthur Sullivan was
notified that his brother Fred was very
Ill. He made every effort to reach the
house where his brother, was lying at
the point Of death, but arrived too late
to see him alive. The two brothers
were devoted to each other, and the
blow was a bitter one for Sir Arthur.
He was closeted with the body Of his
brother for two hours. at the cXpirn-
ton Of which time lie came down
stairs and went to the piano. Throw
Ing the instrument open, he began to
play, and, bar by bar, The Lost Chord
was evolved. The composer sadly put
his new composition on paper and
stored it away.
1.-THE song is the wall Of u throbbing
heart, the grief of desolation. All
through it's beautiful harmony can be
heard the strain of grief. So profound
an impression did the association of
the song with the death Of his brother
make on Sir Arthur hat he is said to
have, even at this late day, an aversion
to hearing 1t Observation-Disclosures
News.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01
Attending His own Funeral.

An interesting story is told about q
French cab driver named Prosper Ro.
mieu, who actually attended his own
funeral. Some time ago Romieu was
convicted Of some offense end sentenc-
ed to q term Of imprisonment. Since
then he had been In hiding ut the house
Of n brother. The brother died, and
an inspiration occurred to the convict
ed cab driver. Accordingly he obtain
ed a certificate of his own death and
attended rs chief mourner.
The fraud might never have been
discovered, and Romieu might have
passed as his WI brother to his dying
day but for the fact that at the grave
side there was O policeman who hap
pened to know him. The policeman
accosted him and, on getting an an
swer, said facetiously, "This is the first
time l have heard a dead nan speak"
The unlucky dissimulator was hailed
of to the bureau and has since been
sentenced to five months imprison,
ment.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01

On the last day of each October the
city solicitor of London, with an MS
s%istant, attends upon the royal remem-
brancer, when, by proclamation, "the
tenants and occupiers Of n piece Of
waste ground called the moors, in the
county Of Salop," are commanded to
"come forth and do your service upon
pain and peril that shall fall thereon"
The solicitor chops In halves two fag-
OTIS, one with n hntehet and the other
with a billhook. Afterward comes the
summons to the tenants, etc., Of "a GER
tain tenement with n forge" in the
Strand and the payment OF six horse.
shoes, with 81 shoe nails, by the So
licitor. This forge has long ceased to
be, and the same shoes and nails are
used year after year, the shoes being
at least two centuries old.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01
He C0uldu't Helm II.

The funniest interview 1 ever had or
heard Of, relates Julian Ralph in his
"reminiscences, was when l was on the
staff Of the New York Sun. I had been
sent to look up some one In a suburb OF
the city. The address was a numbcr
on Fourth street, but, to my amaze
ment, I found three such streets in tho
place. The house l sought was not in
any Of them. Tired and almost dis
souraged / turned into q cobbler's shop,
and seeing a bearded German bending
ovor a last in the glare OF a swinging
lamp, 1 cleared my throat and said:
II beg your pardon, but / am a re-
porter Of The SUM-
well, WE'LL" he said soothingly, be-.
fore l could finish the sentence, "you
cannot help dot"
l could not continue for a full min
ute, so struck was I by the unexpected
philosophy and wisdom Of his reply. 1
could not help being n reporter, and I
knew it. When l explained that I
wanted an address on Fourth street,
and had already been to three Fourth
streets, and would like to know If
there were any more, he lifted his
hammer and poised it in the air for
half q minute.
You want to know If dere Is some
more Of dose Fourt' streets?" he asked.
"Vell, I will tell you. / hat lived here
dwenty years, trying to find Something's
owt, and I didn't find anydings owt
yet"
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01
800 Reward 800.

The readers of this paper will
be pleased to learn that there is
at least one dreaded disease that
science has been able to cure in
all It's stages and that is Ca
tarrh. Halls Catarrh Cur is the
only positive cure now knewn to
the medical fraternity. oatarrh
being o constitutional disease, re-
quires q constitutional treat
ment. Halls Catarrh Cure is
taken internally, acting directly
upon the blood and mucous sur
faces of the system, thereby de-
stroying TIE foundation Of the
disease and giving the patient
strength by building up the con-
stitution and assisting nature in
doing its work. The proprietors
have 80 much faith in its curative
powers that they offer one Hun
dred Dollars for any case thabit
fails to Sara - of
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01
Black Ink a. "a rooo wo.,.

a British traveller I'm Africa, weary
and exhausted, was received hospita-
Dly one evening In the kraal Of u Hot
tentot prince. Early next morning he
was about to write down the events OF
the previous weeks when he perceived,
to his dismay, that the ink In his tray.
cling case was dried up. With n sigh
Of disappointment, he was packing up
his writing materials when his eye fell
on n glass vessel standing on a bamboo
shelf, which, on closer inspection,
proved to be a genuine ink pot nearly
full to the brim.
Delighted at the discovery, he sat
down and worked away Mt his diary.
Suddenly he was disturbed In his ooeu-
patton by a young negress, who,
~sprlnging toward him, snatohed the Ink
pot from the table in passionate haste.
Her agonizing scream soon attract
ed the other members Of the family,
and the unsuspecting stranger was
soon made aware that he had commit.
ted the heinous 'offense Of laying saeri-
legious hands on the carefully guarded
provision of ink which the rich aunt Of
the monarch had bought from q Euro
pean trader rs a toilet preparation for
improving the complexion.
The explorer was forthwith arrested
and sentenced to death, and the edict
would have been put into execution
had not n British m~anEof-war arrived
In the bay. The captain, learning Of
his countryman's exploit, promptly
interTened and appeased the irate roy
al house by n gift of half a pint Of
black ink.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01
The safcst Part of n Troin.

a party of travellers in a train were
talking over their travelling experience
and the danger Of accidents, and finally
the question arose as to the safest part
Of the train. Failing to settle the ques-
ton among themselves, they called on
h guard, and one of them said to
him:
Guard, we nave been discussing the
matter Of the safest part Of the train
and want to know your opinion"
want to know the safest part, oh %
replied the guard.
eyes, that's It,"
WELL" continued the guard, give
been on the line for Is years and have
been turned owe entertainments, bust
ed up In tunnels, dumped off Of
bridges, telescoped in collisions, blown
off the line by cyclones, run into open
switches and had other pleasant Incl
dental advertisements of a kindred M
ture, aud I should say, gentlemen, that
the safest part of the train was that
part which happened to be in the
works for repairs at the time Of the
nccident."-London Telegraph.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01
An Ancient military pevot,on.

The eating Of three blades Of grass
I'm token Of the holy communion" was
O recognized form Of military devotion
In the middle ages. On the eve Of battle
one knight would make his confession
to another, and then partake Of this
symbolical communion. 1t would not,
however, be correct t. speak Of either
ceremony as IAN %eficacious substitute"
for the saoraments OF penance and the
Eucharist respectively.
The practices do not even amount to
sacHamentals. They were simply devo-
lions In honor of the blessed Eucharist
-plous and formal expressions Of the
individuals desire to. communicate sac.
ramentally. had the means been pres
ent. 1t may be, however, that In D
lar estimation these practices were In
some sort considered Substitutes" for
the sacraments which were for the
time being Observation-Disclosures and
Queries.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01
Not Very Polite.

John Clerk, afterward known ae
Lord Bldin, was limping down the
High street OF Edinburgh one day
when he heard n young lady remark to
her companion, "That is the famous
John Clerk, the lame lawyer" He
turned round and said, with his mot
unwonted coarseness:' "You lie,
ma'am! am a lame man., but not q
lame lawyer"
Lord Justice Braxfield, too, appear
to have failed n courtesy to the fair
sex, for. when tod that q brother
Judge would not sit that day, on ac-
count Of having just lost his wife, he.
Rho was fitted with a Xantippe, re.
piled: "Has he2 That is a guide excuse
indeed. I wish we had a. the same"
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01
Y AND THE LADIES'.
Wonderful SusceptibiItty Of tho
Great Composer.

Great Composer.
When Haydn came to England, he
succumbed, says the writer of an arti-
Gle on "Music and Matrimony" in tho
Cornhill Magazine, to the charms Of O
certain Mrs. Shaw, who figures in his
diary as the most beautiful woman he
had ever met. AS a matter Of fact,
Haydn was always meeting the "most
beautiful" Woman
"The lovcliest woman I ever saw"
was at one time n Mrs. Hodges, while
at another time the widow of n must
clan named Schroeder SO fascinated
him that he kept her letters for many
years and declared hat if it We're not
for the existence of Anna Maria he
would have married her. Certainly
Mrs. Schrocter's letters were pleasant
enough. every moment of your COM
pany," she wrote from Buckingham
Gate in 1892, as more and more pre-
cious to me now that your departure Is
SO near. l feel for you the fondest and
tenderest affection the human heart is
capable Of. l ever am, with the most
nviolable attachment, my dearest and
most beloved Haydn, most faithfully
and most affectionately yours"
What would the absent Frau Doc
TORN Haydn have said had she known
of 1t? The composer also got mixed up
In a little affair with the beautiful Mrs.
Ellington. Sir Joshua Reynolds was
painting her portrait for him and had
represented her as st. Cecilia listen
Ing to celestial music. what do you
think Of the charming Billington's pic
ture?" said the artist to Haydn Wheh-
the work was finished. "It Is inSeed
q beautiful picture" replied Haydn.
ut Is just like her, but there is O.
strange mistake. You have sSinted her
listening to the angels wheG you ought
to have painted the angels listening to
her."
If Haydn paid compliments like this
all round, we can easily understand
how he attained SUCK fame as a Lon
don society man.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01
A CROSS ON HIS BACK.
IL Was Made with C!ajIS. but Was
Too Heavy to Garry.

AZ Was Made with Ct.ajIS. but Was
Too Heavy to Curry.
There Is a story Of an envlous tailor
current with tho French %peasantry. He
fancied that his neighbor, who ~rccciv.
ed a pension for the loss Of an arm in.
Cured while lighting for his country,
was better off than himself. Both men
went to pay their rent Oh the same
day.
That's a lucky man, said the tailor
to the landlord. "He gets we'll paid for
his arm"
"But who would be willing to part
with an arm, even If he were paid for
itf" said the landlord.
Il would" declared the tailor.
Your cried the landlord. "Why,
man, you wouldn't be willing to bear
anything Of the sort, no matter how
much you wore paid for it."
81 wish some one would try me-"
Now, see here" said the landlord.
WHO had studied human nature, "In
tell you what, If you'll wear ever so
much as a chalk mark on your back
I'll remit your rent as long rs you
wear it on your oat so 1t can be seen.
the condition beingtfat go" tell no one
why It is there"
Agreed" said the tailor eagerly.
That's an Easy way to pay rent.,'
So the chalk mark In the form of n
cross was made on the back Of his
coat, n the delighted tailor sailed
forth upon the street.
Strangers and acquaintance hailed
hin to tell him of the mark on his
back. Jokes were made at his expense,
children laughed and pointed at him,
n his wife annoyed him with ques-
lions and with conjugal familiarity
told him he was a fool. The usually
amiable man grow surly and morose;
he Stunned men, women and children
and freQuented back streets. Before
the week was up the tailor found him
self embroiled in a quarrel with his
best friend, his wife had threatened to
leave his house and he considered him
self miserable and Ill used.
Finally, one night he took off his
coat and rubbed out the chalk mark
and said: ""ThereI 1 would not wear
that cross on my back another week,
no, not IL / could have all the money
there Is In Paris!"-Youth's Compan-
ion.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01
GOut'a NIiIE-

Modern Medicine says that goats
milk. contrary to the general impress
sion, differs from cows milk not in be.
Ing more digcstiblc, but in being less
digestiDlG and less nutritious, although
1t contains n larger amount OF solid
matter than cows milk. 1t is indeed
the most indigcstiblc OF all milk.
Goats milk has n peculiar and unplras-
ant odor and flavor, due to hircic acid,
or Dircine. 1t contains an excess of fat
and is therefore altogether too rich for
an infants diet.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01

If 1t should be asked what possession
l most valued, 1 would say some beau
tiful memory. Memory Is possession.
1t Is the only thing on earth that Is alb
solutely ours, which no one can take
from us. We can produce and enjoy it
In n crowd of uncongenial people as
easily as IL we were alone. No noise
can drown it's voice; no distance can
dim it's clearness. Strength, hope,
beauty, everything else, may pass.
Memory will stay.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01
n CAPTAINS STORY.
lie spins n Yarn About II wonderful
Recovery on ShIpboard.

He Spins n Yarn About II Wonderful
Recovery on ShIpbourd.
A little group had been spinning
yarns In the rotunda Of the Walton for
an hour or more when q bronze
visaSed, middle aged ma joined the
party. Several of the group recognized
him as the captain Of one Of the big
tramp steamers which ply between
Philadelphia and foreign ports, and q
place In the circle was at once made
for him.
We've been killing time telling sto-
ries," some one explained. Suppose
you turn ip your contribution"
The captain thought u moment and
then smiled.
II was thinking of something that
happened on my last voyage" he final
ly said. 1--WE had on board as a cool
q big colored fellow, whose principal
companion was n little yellow cur dog.
One day while the cook was preparing
some beef for dinner he let the heavy
cleaver with which he was doing the
chopping slip from his grasp.
at fell to the floor WITH thu and
the cook emited..T howl Of anguish
'htN as ca III oNtI thc bulD. IS
cleaver had struck one of his bare feet
and sliced the big toe off as neatly as
q surgeon could have done 1t. Here
was a chance for the yellow dog, and
he seized it. Making n dive for the
severed toe, he swallowed 1t in one
Bulp and then made a bee line for the
deck.
This was more than the cook, Graz
ed with pain, could stand, and he hurl-
ed the cleaver at the dog. His aim
proved true, and his curship passed out
Of existence then and there. At this
ju%ncture the ships doctor came up to
find out what all the row was about.
When he learned the truth, he laughed.
"'Tll fix that for YOU he exclaimed
to the cook, wait till i get my instru-
ment case
within five minutes he had held n
post mortem on the dog and recovered
the lost toe. Washing 1t with antisep-
tics, he skillfnlly stitched it back in
place again, and the cook hobbled back
to his quarters minus his dog, but with
Us many toes as he had ever had.
That's about the only story / recall
just now, gentlemen. 1t has the merit
of being true, however, and if you
don't believe 1t come down to the ship
any time and FL show you the cleaver.
The cook has quit the sea, and I don't
know his present address."-Philadel-
phia Inquirer.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01
Rheumatism--Catarrh, are Blood Dis
eases.-Cure Erect

1t is the deep-seated, obstinate
cases of Catarrh and Rheumatism
that B. b. B. botanic Blood
Balm) cures. 1t matters not what
other treatments, doctors, sprays,
liniments, medicated air. blood
purifiers, have failed to do, B. B.
b. always promptly reaches the
real cause and roots out and drives
from the bones, joints, mucous
membrane, and entire system the
specific poison in the blood that
causes Rheumatism and Catarrh.
b. B. B is the only remedy strong
enough to do this and cure so
there can never be o return of the
symptoms. Don't give up hope,
but ask your druggist for b. b,
B. botanic Blood Balm or B BPS.
Large bottles 81, six bottles full
treatment, IS. b. B b. is an hon
est remedy that makes real cures
of all Blood Diseases after every
Uhing else fails. We have abso-
Lutte confidence in Botanic Blood
Balm; hence, so you may test it,
we will send q TRIAL BOTTLE
FREE on request. Personal medi-
cal advice free. Address SBLooD
BALM Co., 3S5 MITCHELL ST., At
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01
A WOMAN.

God did not mske her very wise,
But carved a strangeness round her mouth;
HE put her great sorrow in her eyes
And ]softncss for mems souls in drouth,
And on her face, for all to see,
The seal Of awful tragedy.
God did not ma &c her very fair,
But white and 1.-The and strange and sweet;
A subtle fragrance in her hair,
A slender swiftncss in her feet,
And in her hands a slow carCss,
God made these for my stcadfastnesa.
God di1 not give to her a heart, i
But there is that within her face
To make men long to muse apart
Until they goodness find and grace,
And think to read and worship there I
All good, yet she is scarcely fair.
"A. u. Mall in Now York Tribune
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01
SHAVING A DEAD MAN.
A Job That Occupied an Impecuni-
Qua Artist About a Week.

Qua Artist About a Week.
II have just finished shaving a dead
man." said a local artist. "Ihe Job oc-
cupied me about q week and Good
~heavensW calculate n Mortified friend,
what dye mean7" Don't be alarm
ed" replied the artist calmly. "The
operation was not as repulsive rs you
may Imagine. In fact, j performed it
with n brush. You see, n certain family
Of my acquaintance have a large oil
painting Of the head OF +the house, who
departed from this vale Of tears some
time in the early eighties. At the time
the portrait was made he wore n full
beard, which was contrary to his usual
custom, and the family, who remember
him best with n smooth face, have
been anxious ever since to get off the
whiskers. l was engaged to shave the
portrait, and hard times and approach
ing rent day persuaded me to accept
the commission, which, needless to say,
was highly antipathetlc to my artistic
instincts.
II had to depend entirely on the recol-
lection Of the family for my data, and
l found. to my alarm, that each mem
Def Huu TetulnoQ u ullIerCnt impression
of the bic gentlcman's chin. One claim
ed 1t was double and another insisted
that 1t was sharp and clean cut; n
daughter described it as square and
determined and the widow assured
me privately that it was shaped like
the Prov Of an armored cruiser. Alto
gether l found myself In n deuce of q
fix 1t was no trouble to take off the
whiskers; l did that In three fell
swoops; but when l blocked out the
jaw cxperimentally and called in the
crowd for suggestions, there was a
grand chorus Of protest. Strange to
say, l pleased nobody, and / have been
correcting, amending, remodeling and
doing 1t all over again ever since. One
point Of dispute was the location of n
wart, which hale the family said was
on the left and half on the right. /
finally effected n compromise by paint
ing in two warts, one on each side. l
got my fee all right, but before I take
another tonsorial job I'll go to driving
a a'olley car."-New Orleans Times.
Democrat,
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01
Took the Tin.

The good advice of the laird of Wa
terton, In Abcrdecnslirc, to II sheep
stealcr reads like n very practical joke.
He had himself sent the man 10 Jail,
and In those days sheep stealing wa a
capital offense. Visiting the prisoner
the night before the trial, he asked him
what he meant to do. To which the
prisoner replied that lie Intended to
confess and to pray for mercy.
Contest" said WatertOn. "What,
man, will We confess and be hangcd2
Nae, nae! Deny 1t to my face"
He did so and was acquitted
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01

You asked mi to bring yod some pin
money this morning" said the young
husband.
YES" she replied, with an air of ex-
pectancy.
We'll" snf0 he, Il thought | might
as well save you n trip down town, SO
l brought you n paper Of pins instead"
Chicago News.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01
!. staple dry goods we are
a;.prices always the loweet.
Rzs& e. Minter & bro.


F1fIns TO stomacli, liver and
" troubles as we'll as women,
feel the results in loss of
esSe, poisons in the blood,
3kaShe, nervousness, headache,
) tired, listless rundown feel
BUT there's no need to feel
that. Listen to j. w. Gard
"a Idaville, Ind. He says: "Elec-
bBitters are just the thing for
nan when he Is all run down
don't care whether he lives or
3. 1t dad more to give me new
Yngth and good appetite than
y anything | could take. ] can
~ eat anything and have a new
3se on life" Only 30 conts at
2 Laurens Drug Co. Every bot
guaranteed.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01
The Future UnfnIded.

She-Suppose 1 didn't dress as well
as do now, would you love me as
much?
He-CertaiLIiy, dear. Why, that is ns
much rs to say that I won't care for
you after we are married.-Dstrois
Free Press.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01

The Quick, the Dead and the Other.
Mrs. Casey and Mrs. Murphy met IA
a street car and were discussing family
affairs.
"And how many children have you,
Mrs. Murphy"
,"Foive. Two Twin, two dead and wan
In NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01

1t Is probably true that love laughs at
looksmiths, but any careful reader Of
the proceedings Of the divorce courts
cannot fall to observe that the lock-
smiths get a laughing inning later on
Philadelphia Inquirer.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01

S6ntles from the manufacture
Iect to the consumer. Mantle
. 40, oak, we'll finished, 18 x 36
french bevel mirror, large
ed columns, box top, nice
! ross the breast Of man
ealer would charge you
it, Manufacture p'ace
delivered from sour were
poms,
y %. III. Wilkes s. Co.,
for Knoxville Mantle Co.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01
Unexnectea.

"Why, Clara" said a mother to her
little daughter, who was crying, "what
are you crying aboutT'
"'C.cause," sobbed the little miss, IT
s-started to m-Inake dolly q b-bonnet,
and 1t c-comed out b-bloomers."-
Trained Motherhood.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1899-11-01
Volcanic Eruptions

Volcanic Eruptions
Are grand, but Skin Eruptions
rob life of JOY. Bucklen's Arnica
Salve cures them; also Old, Run
ming and Fever Sores, Ulcers,
Boils, Felons, Corns, Warts, Cuts,
Bruises, Burns, Scalds, Chapped
Hands, Chilblains. Best Pile
cure on earth. Cure guaranteed.
Sold by The Laurens Drug Go.