Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1899-09-28
Was Qnite a Schemer.

in the archives of the village that
he didn't care no more for nickel
than he did for his Iife," and some
of the antiquarians of to day main
tain that he was the original hero
of the famous double yolk egg and
needle swapping incident which
has long been celebrated in song and
story.
Fame did not wait until after his
death to come to him, for his name
Was great in his own day and gen:
Grafton, and in consequence when
he went into the general store to
do some "tradin' -" the group about
the stove would cease discussions
ofliving questions ofart, philosophy
and finance, and would listen eager
ly to learn his new device for get
ting the better of the storekeeper.
He always had a new one.
His name was 81. The story
goes that one day he approached
the dealer on a matter Of pipes and
matches, while the group about the
stove listened with expectant grins
and many nudges, all ofwhich were
entirely unnecessary.
"Say, LemeueI,n said ol' 81,
"What's ye-gettin' fer them pipes?"
"Two cents apiece - said Lemuel,
with look in his eye like that in
the eye Of a wrestler who spars for
a hold.
can how much be the matches?"
"Cent Il bunch, three fer two, -
said Lemuel.
"Wouldn't sell two for a cent?"
asked OF ST.
"Nope," said Lemeuel.
"Wuth cent apiece to ye, be
they?n
"Yep."
"Tell yer what said the bar
gamer, "throw in bunch ofmatches
# | buy three pipes?"
"Nope,'
"Wouldn't anyhow, | s'pose?"
"Nope," and the group about the
stove hugged themselves in silent
delight.
"WeIl, les see," said 81, calcuIat
ing. II s'pose ia customer wants
to return goods that amt damaged
you'll 'commodate himY'
Yep"
can three lunches of matches,
that's 2 cents
"Yep."
The transfer was made and Old
ST started for the door. The group
at the stove upcned their mouths to
congratulate the storekeeper when
they saw the customer turn again.
81 dunno what 1'm thinkin' of,
gettin' all these matches,' take
back two punches an gimme cents.
That'll make us square"
The flush of victory bad made
Lemuel careless. "Jes' you Say,n
he remarked, and the deed was done.
We'll now, | guess Pll take an.
other pipe" said the bargainer, and
he passed over the 2 cents again
and got 1t.
"Took 'em a long time to clean
out that road down to the center,
didn't it?'' said Of 81. t"Loohs ;ke
more snow. too.n and he went out.
When the group about the stove
had finished slapping their knees
and wagging their heads and saying
"haw.haw" and "ygosh," the store,
keeper allowed that he would get
even with Oh 81 if it took five dol
lar note. One day be did, although
they had several encounters which
ended with honors even in the
meantime. or Sis Waterloo was
concealed in a par of boots.
The storekeeper picked out q
shop worn pair. Nhlch were worth
much money when they were new
and told OIL 81 that they were worth
$4. OF 81 felt that it was Il bargain
in spite of the shopwear, but he
knew better than to pay ST. for the
pair The group about the store
pricked mp their ears when the old
man said: "What'd you sell one
fer?"
The storekeeper saw means Of
snccess beyond his dreams. Ilcame
oD him like Il flash. "Two dollars. >
"Well,n said Oh 81, ''my Ief'
boots as good AS new. | guess if
you gimme the right er that pair.
I'll be all hunky."
"Take it," said the storekeeper,
and OF 81 undid the string on bis
wallet aud counted out the two
The storekeeper had not traded
with OF 81 for nothing He knew
what was coming. The old man
reached the door. Then he turned
EagAln.
Say, Lcmnel, - sald the old man,
with a great mir ofinditference. 81
dunno's that other boots any par.
tlcuIur va yer to you, is III"
Nope sald Lemuel, now that
Leone to think ont, guess 'taint. ;
He opened the stove and popped
the other half of the pair into the
blazing fire. "D'ye find mrny drifts
on the way overy Seems if it
couldn't do nothin' but show lately"
The boot was on the other leg.
Worcester Gazette.
| ....,,...,,..,.,...,an...,,,..
John Randolph, Of Virginia, once
met II IisagreeabIe enemy on the
sidewalk who, clustering up and
occupying most Of the way, saldi
"l hevergiVe way for n rascal" "l
always d." said Randolph, politely
stepping aside,
s-s=---=--as-a--=ss--------a--
Fortunes In Hard Woods
The hard wood business lw
prtaspd Ia suph utnnnolh