Evening journal., 1899-11-02
z...1 A MUTlLATED.PoET
Cut Up Almost as Badly as His AL
legged Bit of Genuine Verse.


legged Bit of Genuine Verse.
When a Western editor was sitting
IN his Office one day, man whose |
brow was clothed with thunder en-
tered. Fiercely seizlng n chair, he
slammed his hat on the table, hurled
his umbrella on the foor and sat
down.
Are you the editor?" he asked.
Eyes"
"can you read writlngy
"Of course"
"Read that, then" he said, thrusting
at the Colonel an envelope, with an in-
scription upon 1t.
'B-," said the Colonel, trying to
spell it,
That's not a b. It's an s." said the
man.
IS; oh yes; 1 seel Wen, it looks like
Salt for dinner or Souls of sinners
said the colonel
mo. SIR" replied the man; nothing
of the kind That's my name-Samuel
II. Brunner. / knew you couldn't read.
1 called to see about that poem of mine
you printed the other day, on the Sur
cease Of Sorrow
Il don't remember it." said the
Colonel
"Of course you don't, because It went
into the paper under the infamous
title of 'Smearcase Tomorrow
"A blunder Of the compositor's, l
suppose"
Eyes, sir, and that's what 1 want to
see you about. The way in which that
poem was mutilated was simply scan
dalous. I haven't slept a night since. 1t
exposed me to derision. People think
that l am an ass. Let me show you.
The first line when ] wrote it read in
this way:
Lying by weeping willow. under
meath n gentle slope.
That is beautiful, poetic. affecting.
Now, how did Your vile sheet present
IT to the public?
Lying to a weeping widow to induce
her to elope.
| Weeping widow, mind youi A widowl
Oh, thunder and lightning: This is too
muchl
"But look a-here at the fourth verse.
That's worse yet:
Cast thy pearls before the swine and
lose them In the dirt
lie sets it mp in this fashion:
Cart thy pills before the sunrise aud
love them if they hurt.
Now, isn't that n cold-blooded outrage
on n mans feelings? III leave it to
you if it isn't"
IT'S hard, that's n fact" said the
Colonel.
"And then take the fifth verse. In the
original manuscript it said, plain as
daylight:
Take away the iingling money: it is
only glittering dross
In its printed form you made me say.
Take away the tlngling honey; put
some flies in for the boss.
i BY George, I felt like Draining you
with fire shovel I was never so cut
up in my life. There. for instance. was
the sixth verse. / wrote:
! am weary of the tossing of the ocean
as il heaves
1t is a lovely line, too. But imagine my
b horror and the anguish of my family
) when | opened your paper and saw the
line transformed into;
d ] am wearing out my trousers till
they're open at the knees.
, That is a little too much That seems
to me like carrying the thing an inch or
two too far l think l have a consti-
! tutional right to murder that cOmposit-
or; don't youT
Il think you have"
Let me read you one more verse.
wrote.
I swell the flying echoes as they roam
among the hills,
And ! feel my soul awakening to the
stasy that thrills.
NJ what do you s'pose your misera-
Die outcast turned that into? Why. in
to this:
I smell the frying shoes as they coast
along the bulls.
. And | peel my soul mistaken in the
erctary that whirls
must slay that man. Where is hep
e 'IIe is out just now" said the
Colonel. Come in tomorrow"
Il will,' said the poet: "and l will
come armed. "-Exchanee.