Evening star., 1899-11-11
HOW Mr.. JOBSON DID 1T

rings of the front and basement door bells
Mrs. Jobson is an adept in the gentle art
of tanning door bell ringers who have a
tale to unfold or something to purvey, but
her work on this day didn't meet with Mr..
Jobson's Endorsement.
Mrs. Jobson,' he said to her along
toward the close of the afternoon when
she had attended the nineteenth whang at
one or other of the bells, permit me to
inquire If you are always, year in and
year out. such a good thing for the timer
ant bunco artists who pull door bells as you
have exhibited yourself today?"
We'll, you know explained Mrs. job
son, 1T is really necessary to answer the
rings. Supposing a telegram
Il have no complaint to make about the
mere answering of the rings" interposed
Mr.. Jobson, oracularly, but it's the gaff-
If / may be allowed to relapse into
graphic phrase of slang by my own fire
Side-it's the gaf that you permit the whole
bunch of bell jerkers to shoot into you
that persuades me to fear for your rea-
son. L observe that you spend about twen-
ty minutes in talking to each and every
one of 'em-"
why, how can you say such a.
Twenty minutes in conversing with each
and every one of thcm,' went on Mr.. job
son, and at the wind-up they all win you,
hands down, and, surrendering uncOndi-
uonally, you produce the coin for whatever
they have to sell, or, if they are simply
grating for rum mOney-probaby having
this house marked, all of 'em--you make
good every time. Mrs. JobsOn it is a sOr
rowful thing for a man to be compelled to
reflect that he has mark for a wife. Now,
I'm going to be at home tomorrow, while
you're out plowing around for another ser
want and If you could just employ some
body to take snap shots of the way III
give the hot foot to the raft of gong
saunders who'll repair to this household,
under the impression that you're here. the
mic rpG nfntn inst f-nr
Mrs. Jobson-that's all"
Mrs. JObson set out Immediately after
breakfast the next morning to visit the
employment agencies and Mr.. Jobson
planted himself in one of the front win
dows of the parlor with his newspaper and
cigar. He heard the first prospective bell
ringer ascending the front steps, and he
pOked his head out of the window.
Try the next house, said Mr.. Jobson,
shortly.
'Oh, I'll get along there all right boss"
said the man on the front steps, holding
up a contrivance that looked something
like rat trap. but you'll be missing
something, honest, if you don't let me show
you what a baby of an egg beater this
thing I've got here is. Works this way,
see?" and the man did a bit of rapid dem
onStrating.
by jing, that does look like a pretty ef-
fective culinary tool" said Mr.. Jobson,
putting On his glasses. ''Fellow that in
vented that must be worth a mint, eh?
Let's see it."
Mr., Jobson reached out for the patent
egg beater and toyed with it interestedly
for a moment
How much are the things?' he inquired
Half a dollar" said the man on the
steps, and Mr.. Jobson dug into his silver
pocket and produced the half. The man
went down the steps with a grin. Four
doors above Mr.. Jobson's he sold one of
the patent egg beaters for Is cents,
Mr.. Jobson was reading the election pre-
dctions and snorting over them about ten
minutes later, when there came apollo
getic sort Of a ring at the basement door
bell Mr.. JObsOn stuck his head out of
the parlor window and demanded, who's
that?' A rusty-lOOking specimen of a
white man shambled into the areaway be-
"Tought I'd asst We if ye could let me
have amy cold vittles, cap" said the hobo,
looking up. 'Hain't had a ting to put in
me face f'r four days, an"
Just wait a minute and IN be down."
said Mr.. Jobson. pulling in his head and
closing the window. There's a dickens
of lot of tough luck in this world. for a
fact, he mused on his way down the base
ment stairs. Then he dug into the refrig-
orator, took out about half a cold baked
ham, nice piece of cold roast beef that
Mrs. JObSon was saving for breakfast hash
and bottle of beer Then he took a whole
loaf of Vienna bread from the bread box
lie opened the basement door and handed
the whole armful to the hobo, without ap-
Iarently noticing that the latters breath
smelt like a copper-coiled still The hobo
sized Mr.. Jobson up out of the tail of his
eye, and departed with grin. Mr. Jobson
resumed mis- paper and cigar at the parlor
window.
He was so immersed in his reading that
he didn't hear the next man ascending the
front steps. and the clang of the front bell
aroused him. The bell ringer was within
the vestbule, and so Mr. Jobson went to
the front door.
Want nice feather duster today. boss?"
asked man with three or four dozen Of
the busters strung all over him, holding
one of them up. 'Only got a few left ana
want to get out Of town today, so pm al
dollar?" "
N-no,' replied Mr.. Jobson, IT believe my
WIFE $ pretty we'll provided with"
This one for 75 cents is dirt chean can -
said the man in the vestibule ana Mr.. JOB
son aao TOOK 1t and whisked it bit.
On, well, L guess q house can't have too
many such things" he said after a pause.
and he dug UP the 70 cents Then he went
pack 10 his seat in the parlor, only to be
Joited few moments later by another ring
at the basement bell. He found a shrewd-
eyed youth who was selling eggs for 'ntean
cents a dozen-"fresh h-laid boss N right
from the country, an they're so a dozen in
lhe s storesY-ard Mr.. Jobson bought four
uozeh; SeVen-eighths of them We're subse-
quenly discovered by Mrs Jobson to be
passe to the point of uselessness.
Zen minutes later Mr.. Jobson looked nm
from his paper and saw a man loaded down
WIN Chedp framed water ColOrS on the
front steps. "
Nothing Going" said Mr.. Jobson. hoist
Ing the window. Got too darned MANY
pictures now"
Inc man held up a gorgeous tropical view
Last Philippine scene I've got, sir" he
said persuasively to Mr.. Jobson. Sold one
just like 1t down the street for $50, but
you can have this for ST.
Pretty nice representation of palm
lined beach at that" mused Mr. Jobson.
strokng his chin. Looks warm and baImv
to nave in the house in cold weather"
And he took 1t.
When Mrs. Jobson came home she foun5
Mr Jobson with smOoth-ooking iaan in
the dining room. The table was Uttered
with sample copies of The Beauties Of
the Yellowstone and the Yosemite" in
nlnety-eight numbers. at a half dollar per
number, one delivered each week. MIR.
Jobson closed with the agent and paid for
the first six numbers
An agent for the same series OF views
was here one day last week" said Mrs
Jobson TO the man as the latter showed the
81 into his pocket.
Agert for the same series here last week
en-? said Mr.. Jobson to her after the man
had gone. Il spose you think that hooks
me? Wen, 1t doesn't, Mrs Jobson. 1t
SIMPLY shows that you don't know a good
thlng when you see 1t, and that whatever
artistic perception you may ever have had
is badly blunted. And these views don't
IA nj how