The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-09-17
THE WARM CORNER
FOR TEN ONLY

inns column Is intended for men; this
Icorner-and suspenders-are the only
tnlhgs IN the whole world that are for
men alone We are getting tired of
women being the whole thing and we
propose to do something about 1t right
here In this column. This is to be like
the lecture Of the moral reforrner about
the awful vices of cities, for men ONLY
And all the men go in a hurry to see if
it's any worse than what they know
about and then come away so disap-
pointed and say why when [ was in
| Chlcago'- This column is a warning
and protest against the woman's page.
against rampant femininity, and we're
rot going to stand any nonsense. We
shall not mention women at all unless
| we have to, but sometimes we will have
to, because they get so in the way. It's
just perfectly terrible the way they're
getting into everything. Unless some
thing IS done soon a catastrophe will
happen. If we don't assert ourselves, in
the year 1000 the natural history books
will say something like this:
What is Man?
Mar Is two-legged animal that used
to be somebody; now nearly extinct. See
i Woman
It's that Civic league that makes US
| look like thirty cents. Why they lust
Go everything. They say in the city hall
that the mayor doesn't have to do any
| thing but sign his name now; the IeQgue
! does the rest 1t makes it SO pleasant for
the policemen too. A policeman isn't
| nearly so afraid when he has great
big woman walking his beat with him
The police love the league, 50 they want
| the president to run for mayor But she
| says she can't run.
| You just wait till the Civic league gets
hold Of this Dreyfus case; they will do
| something perfectly terrible to France
| They will meet at the Commercial club
| They've just spoiled that club and they
" Ill talk and talk and they'll resolve like
| this:
Whereas, That horrid. nasty France
has allowed its disgusting court to find
Mr.. Dreyfus guilty when he never did a
! thing, and
Whereas. We think it's just too mean
| for anything: ta -e .,- t.rs1
BE 1t resolved That the Womans
Civic league just won't speak French for
a whole year, won't eat French peas or
| French dressing and won't buy anything
of Mr.. French down at Benheimers).
So there now!
Good Mr.. DIeyfus is pretty good but
he's not as good as the Civic league
| But the league got little too gay a
while ago, when it said that the people
| with q capital should not shop on
Saturday afternoons The people, largely
assisted by down-trcdden man, arose in
its wrath and said it would not eat its
| Sunday dinner Tuesday even to amuse
the league. So that did not go. But it's
| all up with man anyway. The only thing
| he can 90 that women don't want to do
| is to be a street car conductor. Only the
| brave deserve the fair And vet some
| times women are so brave that they rush
| in where angels-of men-fear to tread.
| We have the loveliest police force in
the whole world; everybody says that.
| It's the best looking force and wears the
bluest coats and the brassiest buttons
and keeps itself so nice. 1t is also the
most peaceable force, and just hates to
get itself in any kind of a fight. 1t Is
always for peace and thought about send
ing a delegate to the peace congress. 1t
stays on the shady side of the street in
the day time, and on the sunny side at
night Everybody remarks how we'll the
force looks at the head of a procession.
1t has such q nice system about burg
Iaries, too: when q man loses his watch
and they find the thief, Their they admit
the man once had watch. But II
man loses his watch aud the police can't
find the thief then the mau never had
watch II house is entered and
burglar takes al the silver and the police
don't get the burglar, then the family
pawned the silver to embarrass the po-
lice. It's thorough system.
The Dreyfus meeting at the CONNER
:fal club the other night was almost IS
good as the one at which H 2. Hau was
tried and found guilty of being a blot
en- humanity. The chairman forgot to
come. so A. X Pruden took the chair
and said it was just awful. Then MI.
Strincer said it was awful. wasn't 1t?
And Mr. Lawler said: "Oh. dear, what
shall we do?" And Mr. Blackburn said 1t
wasn't shame at all Mr.. OBrien said 1t
wasn't sham at all. Mr. O'BrieE said It
was Just too awful. but what could we do?
And Mr.. McGhee said it was awfully eff
color. and Mr. Hodgson said never mind
Then the whereasing began and didn't
amount to anything and 1t was all over
When Mr. I.oubet of France, finds out
about 1t he'll never speak to the COM
mcrcial club again.
A Mr.. Rosebush, of Minneapolis. came
down here to look for a housekeeper who
had had some experience, and he mar
ried Selma Clewett and took her back TO
Minneapolis. And that's the way that
horrid Minneapolis gets all the good
things away from US.
Mr.. Cornelius Vanderbilt. very re-
spectable member of thes40O in New York,
Is dead He stopped breathing when he
died lust like everybody else. 1t was not
his fault that he was in society. lie
could not help IL because he had money
and people who have money are always
in society whether they want to be or
not He was a good man and took moth
ing with him He could not help beihe
brother TO the brother-ln-law of Mrs. Bel
mont. who used to be Mrs. Sloane. and
nobody blamed him. One very SAD thing
about it is that his son Alfred. who
started round the world with three VaIets
and three hundred trunks, will have to
come home and not see the midway 1or
perhaps another year
There is a paper down the street which
has an editor who knows everything,
from evolution to peanuts. He knows SO
much that he has the headache all the
time. But the man who answers CUES
lions Monday morning also knows great
deal In fact after Monday he has to
take rest all of Tuesday, Wednesday.
Thursday, Friday and Saturday. or
course he doesn't do anything on Sunday
Peopla come from all over the world TO
ask questions of that Monday man Aud
he ALWAYS answers even when ne mas 10
make 1t up Sometimes he knows tn'hss
'i'a' ais i'o' Reggie