davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13
THE FARMER up 70 DATE
One Who Was Strictly Up with
the Times i'm Every.
r.. thinR.

"Well. how're crops?" said the young
man in the plaid suit, gayly, as he dropped
into the seat beside the elderly individual
with the gray chin whiskers and pepper-and-
salt suit.
.'I hear there amt much demand for elec.
tricity,"'' rejoined the latter, aolemnly.
"Eh?" cried the young man, not SO gayly
as he had asked his first question.
"Petroleum, howsomever,. il pretty
steady" continued the elderly Individual,
st.oking his whiskers thoughfully.
The young man looked askance at him and
fdgeted uneasily in his place.
"And gasoline grows stronger every day. -
continued the elderly one, serenely.
The yonpg man looked as though he wished
he had seated himself somewhere else.
"Other kinds of fodder have slumped en-
tirely, but, Of course, they may begin feeding
naphtha and other things again any day;
you can never tell" continued the elderly
one, ponderously.
The young man paled perceptibly, but he
made up his mind to learn the worst.
"Say," he blurted out, "what kind of q
blasted drug store Of farm do you run, any.
"Me?" gasped the elderly one, with un.
grammatical surprise.
eyes, you," insisted the young man,
stoutly.
-.W6y, I'mnot farmer, my young FRIEND
said the elderly one. "Pm in the automobile
supply business. ."-Harper's Bazaar.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13
WORD FROM MARS.
When the Signal Was Made Out
Its Significance Was Inn
pertinent.

The greatest possible commotion pre-
vailed. The entire world was interested.
Scientists from every country hocked to the
seat of the new observatory. The great
telescope, the marvel Of the nineteenth GEN.
tury, was the talk of two continents.
This world was on the eve of communicate
ing with Mars. It had been scientifically
proved possible. Astronomers watching the
distant planet through lesser telescopes had
observed the attempts Of the Martians to sig
nal us. They were using a system of great
planes and geometrical figures which formed
themselves into an understandable code.
Slowly was the big telescope focused on
the, distant star. Distracted reporters
dashed around sending bulletins every five
minutes. Aged astronomers waited with
trembling anxiety for the great moment of
their lives. Hundreds of smaller telescopes
were carried along the range Of the new op-
tical instrument.
'The Martians are signaling!" telegraphed
utes more the signals will be read" At last!
An eager eye is glued to the glass. The
great figures on the plains of Mars move
slowly. The world is hushed waiting for the
message, the first to break the silence Of
Aeons. The first letter is made out with
difficulty; the others follow more rapidly.
The aged scientist spells out: "R-U-B-
B-E-R!'-Rubber!-
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13
HE WOULD DARE.
There Was an Egg Famine in Kan.
sas and He Could Act
There.

The paper fell from the hands of the half
crushed tragedian. A shrek cut the damp
air
'At last! At last!" he cried, wild with
something akin to enthusiasm.
A friend recognized the voice and slipping
down from the high stool at the Ever:
Ready lunch counter, fastened out. He
hurried across the street, where the half.
crushed tragedian leaned against wall.
" Me friend! Me oldest pal!' he called,
"what be the matter?"
"At last, at last!" exclaimed the half.
crushed again, "at last they will hear my
Tears welled up to the eyes of his friend
me heart is with you,'' he said, ''but how
does it happen"
And before his wondering gaze the half
crushed held the newspaper. His eyes fell
upon the startling, head lines: Gan Egg
"And we are booked from one end of the
state to the other, sobbed the half
crushed, choking with an emotion he could
not beat back
And there, all needless of the passing
throng, they wept upon the shoulder each
Of each.-Detroit Free Press.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13
Deafness Cannot BE Cured

by local applications, as they cannot reach
the diseased portion of the ear. There is
only one way to cure deafness, and that is
by constitutional remedies. Deafness is
caused by an infamed condition of the mu-
cous lining of the Eustachian Tube. When
this tube gets infamed you have rumbling
sound or Imperfect hearing, and when it is
entirely, closed deafness is the result, and
and this tube restored to it's normal con-
dition, hearing will be destroyed forever;
nine cases of Of ten are caused by catarrh,
which is nothing but an inflamed condition
of the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any
case Of Deafness (caqsed BY cata1rh that
Send for circulars, free.
FL Cheney & Co., Toledo, 0.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
HALLS Family Pills are the best.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13
Forgetting Wives' Letters.

HE carried the letter around in his pocket
for five weeks"
"Then what did he do?''
"He wrote to his father-in.law asking him
What he'd better do. His father-in- law wrote
right back and said he was awfully glad his
aon-in-law had written. The letter reminded
him that he had letter in his own pocket
that he had been carrying around for six
weeks"
Didn't he offer any advice?"
worried, and at last opened the envelope to
see how much mischief he had done by 1e.
tanning it. What do you suppose it con.
tanned? A recipe for making tamarind jelly.
clipped from some newspaper, together with
two. almanac jokes and a sample of cheap
and felt Setter But nt eoS he eSueRes
time he thinks of his old father-in-law an
the bunlen he may still be carrying."-,
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13
A Good Road to Cincinnati.

The Monon Route and c. H. & D. R'y run
four trains daily from Chicago to Cincinnati.
The day trains leave Dearborn Station, Chi
equipped with elegant Parlor and Dining
cars. The night trains leave at $50 p. M,
and PAS a. m. These trains are equipped
with elegant sleepers and compartment cars,
the sleepers on the latter train being ready
for occupancy at $3.50 p. m. Ask for tick.
ets via Monon and G: H: & D. City Ticket
Office, 232 S. Clark St.. Chicago.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13
BOK!HARA.

Travellers are never charmed with
the beauty of Bokhara, for the houses
are all built of mud with no windows
and merely an entrance door. The rea-
son for this is the Moslem dislike of
letting their women be visible. To
avoid having the women look out of
windows the easiest plan is to have no
windows at all.
All bazars are on very narrow
streets, each street tenanted by the
same craft. The bakers bazaar is one
whole street, and so is the silk mer-
chants. This is convenient when one
wants to shop. Curious things are for
sale there-sheaves for knives worked
In wool and adorned with tassels and
tufiteikis-little skull caps to wear be-
meath the turban. Turbans are taken
off in the house, because they are
heavy, and these. caps are worn to
protect, the close-shaven, heads. The
bazars close at three or four o'clock in
the afternoon, and then the whole
town cooks its dinner. - l..
Most reservoirs of Bokhara are un-
speakable, though the water is too
precious to waste just because it issnot
clean. Naturally, these ponds. from
which the native population get water
are the source of many diseases, one
OF which is curious. When person is
attacked by it swelling appears on
some part Of the body. TheSnative doc
tor opens the swelling and finds sort
OF worm resembling a transparent
thread. The problem then is to ex-
tract it without breaking it, for it is
generally about two yards long. This
interesting illness is not worried about
by the natives in the least, though it is
needless to say foreigners would as
soon drink poison as Bokhara water.
An army troopers horse carries on
Ian average aweiRht Of 270 pounds.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13
For the Grave.

sible for the following: He overheard q
conversation between his cook and nurse,
who were discussing a recent funeral of
member of their race, at which there had
been great profusion Of flowers, The nurse
said: "When die, don't plant no fowers
on my grave, but plant a good old water
dar. and don't you eat It, but jes' bus, il
on de grave and let dat good old juice dribble
down through de ground. .'-Youth's Com.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13
FINLAND.

Fifteen farmers from Savolak made
trip to Helsingfors to present cer~
tain grievances to Governor Bobrikoff.
The two newspapers published in the
Savolak district were suppressed some
time ago. This interferred so seriously
with the business interests. of the COM
munity that attempts had to be made
to induce the governor to rescind the
order. 1t was also explained that
without the aid of the press it would
be difficult to relieve the distress due
to a general failure of the crops in
that part of Finland. But the cover
nor answered that it was not his fault
that the papers had been suppressed.
The editors of the papers had been
spreading groundless rumors about
the intentions of the government, and
the laws demanded the suppression of
such papers. AS to the relief of suf-
fering due to the failure of the crops.
arrangements had already been made
by the government. The general held
out no hopes for resuscitation of the
papers, but closed by stating that he
had learned to love the Firms as a
good though sadly deluded people.
His plain talk indicated that he does
not by any means shrink from the
monstrous idea of permanently de-
Priving large part of Finland of the
benefits of local press.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13
%Non.Sinlkablo Boa tn.

The latest invention for saving life comes
from London, and is non.sinkable boat. Il
people would pay as much attention to tho
preservation Of life in other ways, there
you'd be great improvement. Hostetter's
Stomach Bitters is q life preserver, discov.
cred 30 years ago. 1t cures dyspepsia, indi.
gestion and all forms of stomach trouble. It
is an excellent tonic for the whole system
and may be had from any druggist.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13
NORWAY.

The storthing has just taken a step
which shows that this body is far
from being controlled by the majority
party, that is the Liberals. The COM
mittee on nominations proposed as ,di-
rectors of the banks of the country,
men who have distinguished them
selves chiefly as political agitators for
the Liberals, and many of the candi-
dates are ex-members of the storthing
while number of the most trusted
and experienced bankers and inan-
ciers of the country. were ignored.
AS soon as the press was advised of
the nice little work of the committee,
vehement protests arose from differ
ent parts of the country, and the re-
port of the committee was handled
very roughly on the floor of the
storthing,, some of the liberal mem
bers turning squarely against the
leaders of their. own party. But the
vote was surprise to all. j The report
was returned to the committee by the
emphatic vote of 64 to- As. Not even
President Ullmann succeeded in stem-
ming the tide which was B rising
against the principle, that '.to the VIC
tors belong the spoils. z Il: 1:ss q:
The stockholders Of the Kristiania
brewery haVa received a dividend of s
per cent fol- the past year, and 2 per
cent was added to the reserve fund.-
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13
She Enjoyed 1t. ~

+ They had been sitting together for half
IN hour. #.r j. ( %*& ID
II have enjoyed 's'our conversation so
much!" she. exclaimed, as she rose to go.
4.g And after she had left him he remembered
that he hadn't been able to get in ten words
edgewise throughout the whole conversa-s
tor. Somerville Journal. =
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13
Undue Haste.

The Circassian-What became Of the fel.
low who started in to fast 40 days?
The Wild Man-De manager advanced him
gittin' to restaurant.-N. Y. journal.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13

Il The Scandinavians Of Berlin gave d
concert and ball for the benefit of the
storm sufferers. *S.AS -
N. C. Hafstad, of Forde, the Oldest
postmaster in Norway, celebrated his
golden wedding, Nov. H.. 4...- =
Martinius Lindstad, of STANCE,
we'll known lay preacher, died at the
age of IS years.
The city of Sarpsborg is booming.
Three years ago it had 1000 inhabi-
tants, now it has $500. At the former
time the houses were valued at 1884,
600, now at 81 100000. The aggregate
income for 1895 was $243,O0o that of
1898, $4,000.
Even the Finlanders have sent sew
eral hundred dollars to the storm suf-
ferers.
A new Catholic church was dedi-
Gated at Fredrickstad, Nov. IL.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13

A lot of the conversation worked off in
society ought to be dumped in the garbage
can.-Chicago Daily News.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13

So long as we have the self-made man,
there will doubtless be call for the ready.
made ancestry.-Detroit Journal.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13
! a Nude Departure.

5 " 4 A Nude Departure. ~. 81.
Husband-That gown appears to be cut
considerably lower than your last one.
81 Wife-Yes; the dressmakers have depart
4 ed somewhat from the lines of last seasons
models. {. d, ),
@ Dee. a nude departure" Philadel.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13

Does her family tree have anything to do
with making woman willowy?-
Transcript.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13

Piso's Cure for Consumption has saved
me many DOCTORS bill S F. Hardy, Hop
kins Place, Baltimore, Nd, Dec 2, "a.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13

To Cure q Cold In One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund money If it fails to cure. pc.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13

Dyeing is as simple as washing when you
use PUTNAM FADELESS DYES. Sold
by all druggists.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13
scovs That Pass in the Night

ScU"B 1Hnt unD IN CHe N1Snts
Jacques leaned over the gunwale Of the
Aatboat as she foated lazily down the De.
troit river. He smoked his pipe.
Pierre hung over the rail Of the scow that
vas upward bound. He also was enveloped
In hazy smoke.
In the moonlight the two boatmen rec.
ognized each other.
'H'llo, Pierre. How you geet along?"
"Oh, been geet along. How you geet
along~
"0h, been geet along, too."
"How., your seek fatair geet along,
jacques"
:. my fstair? ohf she get along: She been
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13
DENMARK.

DENMARK.
The king is positively disinclined to
go South and spend the winter on the
Mediterranean coast; but he may go
as far as Gmunden and spend the
Christmas holidays there.
One of the attractions of the Copen-
hagen geological gardens next sum-
mer will be genuine Siamese colony,
actively engaged in some of the lead
ing trades of Siam. Even the houses
for the colony will be imported.
The literary crop of Denmark has
never been so rich in books written
by women as that of the present year.
The new woman" cuts big swath in
this field, some of the books being
dangerously close to what has been
called 'swine literature"
King George, of Greece, has spent a
whole week in Paris. He attended
some theater every evening during
his stay.
No particular system has yet been
agreed upon for running the street
cars in Copenhagen.
The Harboore parsonage was struck
by lightning and burned down COM
pletely in about one hour. A new
public library located in the building
was also destroyed. The inmates bare
ly saved their lives.
The English traveller Royalist,
which was captured on Danish terrific
ry, has bad record. A few months
ago it came too near the coast of Ice
land, and five Icelanders rowed out
to 1T in a small boat and ordered the
captain to remove the trawler beyond
the territorial line. The captain told
them to look out for themselves, and
ran his trawler against the boat,
which capsized, three of the Iceland
ers were drowned, and the trawler left
the scene. The captain is in the hands
of the Danish authorities, and at pres
ent his life does not seem to be worth
much. The English owners of the
trawler have released it'by depositing
$1,000 with the Danish authorities.
The captain of the trawler is said to
be a Swede by birth.
A number of Copenhagen business
men have initiated movement for
sending $4,000 cans of Danish butter
as present to the British army. The
leading butter exporter has promised
to take the trouble of canning the
butter. The aim of this step is to
show the English people to what ex-
tent the Danes appreciate the good
will and the butter market of their
British cousins.
The supplement for 1s9s-9o to Mey-
er's Conversations lexicon, a we'll
known German cyclopedia, contains a
misleading and biased article on the
history of Denmark, and the Danish
press advertises the work in a way
which the publishers fail to appre-
ciate.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13

Warden Wolfer is out. and General
G. McC Reeve in. Who said that the
world do not mover G. = G,
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13

# An army troopers horse carries on
:i1 an average aweight Of 270 pounds.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13

The Minnesota congressional delega-
tion is at Washington and all that re-
mains is the mischief wrought for the
goppites through Merriam, Byrnes, ct
al, and the resulting bad taste in the
G. O. p. mouth.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13

Every reader of this paper should give
special heed to the offers which are appear
ing from week to week by the. John M.
Smyth Co., the mammoth mail order house
of Chicago. In this issue will be found their
advertisement of thoroughly up-to-date,
ingiy low price Of SAB. Coming as this Of
fer and other offers do from house with a
commercial rating of over one million dol
lars, and of the highest character, they mark
an opportunity that the shrewd buyer will
not be slow to. take advantage Of. The John
M. Smyth Co., $50 to l66 West Madison
street, will send their mammoth catalogue,
in which is listed at wholesale prices every.
only 10 cents to, partly pay postage or ex-
pressage, and even this 10 cents is allowed on
first purchase amounting to one dollar
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13

Specimen outrageous Republican
falsehoods on the grain department
have been the Republican statements of
the action of Inspector Reishus in at.
tempting TO retrencn by dropping three
officials in the St. Paul department.
The Red Wing Republican put this lie
more wickedly than most of its contem-
poraries, actually declaring that '''the
Democratic majority" of the commits
sioners refused to confirm the ns:,ect.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13
HIS ABILITY.

Seldum Fedd Dat teller, Hungry Hooks,
L. u credit to de perfession. e y
Soiled Spooner-You You bet! He could steal
in de crust.-JudRe. # 81 s. u, & I:
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13

And so the scheme, after all, was to
do up Bob Evans, and boom Captain
Van SAINT. 1t is all right for the cap.
tain, but hard dose for Collins, Clapp,
Heatwole and Others Sly Bill Merriam.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13

The Minneapolis anti.imperialist
mass meeting promises to be hummer.
The goppite press worry about the few
Democrats participating. Why that's
an anti-McKinley show, of those who
won the gold brick in '96. The Demo-
Gratis and Populists will sit in the pews
and enjoy the sermon.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13

The gold standard has wiped out the
great house of Harper 6 Bros. at the
same time that fire cleans out the Lip
plncotts. The Harpers fail for S., 500.
600, $4,000, 900 of it unsecured, and the
Lippincotts lose $3,000,00j. But fire is
better than the gold standard, for there
is insurance, while the gold standard
loss benefits nobody. Both houses have
the sincere sympathy of all the literati.
That tremendous force in the awak.
ening of 1896, Coin Harvey, is writ.
Ing a book on the newer issues, in the
style of Schoolmaster "Coin," which
will be circulated by the national Dem,
ocratic committee. The title will be
Money, Trusts and Imperialism" in
calculating which "Coin" will be shown
grown to long trousers, instead
of in knickerbockers. The word
"Trusts" is spelled out in barb wire
letters. and ::Imperialism" is covered
with frost and ice, and other like un.
ique figures. The work will be ready
Jan. 10, and all lovers Of the cause are
asked to assist in its circulation. Send
to the Hon. J. G.. johnson, chairman
national executive committee, Chicago,
for parCculars. %.~sE ii. :, :
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13

And Schoolmaster McCleary's name
is not even mentioned in the Repub-
lican currency bill. Can such things
be, and not overcome US like a summer
hailstorm?
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13

If only Chairman Steele of the Repub-
lican state central committee, had his
red ink back, with which he endorsed
Frank Wright's origin circular, he
would be perfectly satisfied, and agree
not to do it again.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13

The Cubans are bowling for that "In-
dependence" they were to have. Soon
the administration will openly ask them
it they were green enough to think in
dependence was ever intended.
Willmar tribune., 1899-12-13

And the "Brother Abners' are get
ting quite as tired as the Cubans. They
want those franchise plums. Mckinley
should get a move on him.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1899-03-15
IN AND AROUND DELHI.

Emil Borg departed for st. Paul
Thursday last.
Dan McCorquodale of Echo was a
Delhi visitor Monday.
Nora Tradewell visited with Echo
friends over Sunday.
Orrin Hayes of Hancock, Wis, re-
turned to Delhi Sunday morning.
Mrs. Cahoon of Underwood township
visited her daughter, Mrs. Chas. o.
Borg, Saturday and Sunday.
M. H. Makepeace of WATERFOWL, s..
D., was doing some live stock business
with D. R. McCorquodale Monday.
Are you thin? Would you like to
get fat? Tried laughing t'wouldn't
work-now;take Rocky Mountain Tea.
Hitchcock & Co.
The next meeting of the Social club
will be held in the:D. G. B. hall March
21st, at 7:30 p. m. This is the last
meeting of the season and large crowd
is expected.
Township officers elected yesterday
were J. :P.I.Gaffney, chairman and
VIM. Steele and j. F. Bunting board of
supervisors; clerk, D. Mclean; treas
urer, Isaac Leslie; assessor, Malcolm
Mclean. Justice of the peace, D. O.
|Schooley; constable, D. McNaughton.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1899-03-15

Both occasions were pronounced un-
usually successful and pleasing by al
who attended.
w. s. Sherd Of Vesta states that his
fruit trees were quite badly damaged
by the sleet storm of last week, the
limbs being badly broken, and in some
cases the buds had appeared, and these
were frozen off. MI. Sherd thinks that
his plum and apple trees have been
ruined from bearing this year.
The village caucus to name candi-
dates for village officers resulted in the
selection of John Martin as President
of the council, and w. III. Pease, Ole
Darud and w. I. Howes as trustees; F.
Portrait, recorder; treasurer, ]. M.
Thompson; justice Of the peace, M. E.
Lewis; and constable, J. McKeon.
#. L. Simpson is now making ar
rangements to remodel his store build
ing, and will add another story to the
same, the latter to be used as hall
which has already been leased by the
A. o. U. w. and Modern Woodmen
organizations of the place. The hall
will be fitted up in creditable manner.
A big crowd from here attended the
school entertainment in district IS,
Swedes Forest, last Friday evening.
The entertainment was under the man.
agement of the literary club of that
district, and included readings, farces,
dialogues, music, ETC., all Of the partici-
pants acquitting themselves with credit.
There were no services in the Luther
an church last Sunday for the reason
that M. C. Waller received telegram
announcing the serious illness of his
father, and left for Wisconsin immedi-
ately afterwards. There will be servic-
es next Sunday, however, Rev. Mr..
Strand of Summit, s. D., occupying the
pulpit.
Hilda johnson, who has been suffer-
ing from a:severe attack Of appended
tbs, is to go to::Mankato in few days
for the purpose Of undergoing an opera
ton for the trouble. She will be &C
companied by DR.. Dredge. Belview
citizens have kindly subscribed the
amount necessary to pay the expenses
Of the operation.
The caucus of voters for Belview
township for the election Of Tuesday
was held Saturday evening, and result
ed in the composition Of the following
ticket: Supervisors, Grant Adsit chair
man, VIM. Mack and B. Monson;
clerk, A. O. Gimmestad; treasurer. A.
F. Portrait; assessor, A. M. Monson;
justice Of the pesce, Thos. Mckay;
constables, M. e. Lewis and Oscar
Berger.