Little Falls weekly transcript. (Little Falls, Morrison Co., Minn.) 1894-19??, 1899-06-27
LOOKS LIKE TWAIN.
THE FAMOUS HUMORIST HAS A DOU-
BILE IN KANSAS.

Ills Name =. Clemens, Too, aud tho
Britishcrx Once Made Life Miscr-
nble For Him by Insisting That He
Was the Real and Only Mark.
Mark Twain has double and tho
double doesn't like 1t Bit AS for Mark,
no one knows that he cares-in fact, 1t is
rather uncertain whether the great Mark
knows of it. The double has Marks own
name, Clemens with the preflxed initials
of 6. G. He is Kansas socialists law
yer by trade-and as he bears q striking
resemblance to the real thing, he Is often
taken for 1t, in America and abroad.
People say that they are cousins, and the
socialist has to deny 1t every other day.
He went to Europe years ago, and people
there dined and wined him, believing that
they had the real old stuff with them.
The more he tried to explain that 1t waA
all a mistake on their part, and the mad
der that he got, tho more tiokled they
we're.
"Oh, Mr.. Twain" they said, "you are
so funny! Now we see through 1t all, and
you can't conceal your identity from us. I"
This is what Mr.. Clemens Of Kansas
says when "joshed" by his friends upon
his great relation: II understand that
Mark Twain Ia man Of good natured
ability, and, had he turned his attention
10 some proper pursuit, he doubtless
would have made his way in the world,
stood well in society and perhaps have
been mayor of his city and perhaps COVER
nor Of some western state But he got tho
notion into his head that he could write
and threw away his chances to win i'm
mortality by appointing policemen and
notaries public. He took to writing books
even after he must have known the whole
world was laughing over his literary
illusions. He chose his career without
consulting mo, and If he is disappointed
with the result let him look to it and not
be saddling himself upon me by claiming
kinship. am in no condition to stand
any foolishness. I have hard work to get
credit at my grocers' now.'
IL. the year Of tho Russo-Turkish war
this Kansas Clemens went to Europe to
try his luck as Il war correspondent. 1t
does not bear OH this story, but it may be
of interest to add that he never got a
chance to SHOW his prowcss in the line of
war correspondence. Possibly his reputa.
ton was enhanced by this absence of op-
portunity. Anyway, Fourth of July OF
that year found G. G. Clemens on ship
board crossing the Atlantic. Already he
had beon taken to be the only Mark, in
spite of all his statements to the contrary.
He made a little speech at the Independ-
ence day celebration, but the main address
of the day WAS made by somo unknown
who bore tho title Of colonel. Clemens
having been chosen press agent, upon his
arrival in Glasgow, he took the colonel'a
speech to the office Of a newspaper to have
it printed, with a report of the proceed.
ings. He sent his card to the editor, and
on leaving said to the editor: III you
leave out anything, leave out my own
speech. If you print anything and leave
out the colonels speech, can't stay here
and be safo." The next day the city was
placarded with such poster announcements
as this:
Mark Twain on tho Old Country,
see Glasgow Evening News"
Clemens got copy Of tho paper, and
there was the colonel's speech, to be sure,
but his own led the story. Clemens tried
all sorts Of arguments to prove that he
wasn't Mark Twain, but oil the editor
said was, IF you want to travel inoog.,
it's all very we'll, but I cannot and will
not tell my renders that the speech that
have published as yours is not your own. "
That night Clemens went to the theates
with some Of his steamer friends, and
greatly to their amusement Mark Twain
gags were thrown at him from the stage.
The next day crowds of people came to his
hotel for his signature. He wrote his own
honest name in their albums, and they
departed happy.
He began to be afraid that If the real
Mark Twain showed up anywhere he-the
Kansas man-would be denounced as an
imposter. So he fed to London and went
to the Inns Of Court hotel. In the next
mornings paper he saw the announce
ment, mark Twain at the Inns of Court
hotel" Now the Kansas man felt really
good, because he had made up his mind
to go to the real Mark and tell him oil
ohout it. SO he asked the clerk for In