Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-08-30
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dianapolis Journal.
Tommy-Paw. what is a pessimisti
Mr.. Figg-He is man who. OF two
evils, prefers both.-lndianapolis Jour
nal
Wig-Dedbroke tells me that he
hopes TO marry soon. Is the girl we'll
off? WagI think SO: she refused him.
Philadelphia Record.
Teacher Now, Johnny. which would
you rather have yoar father promise to
give you-a silver watch or a gold one?
Johnny-A silver one, cause Id think
he meant 1t then.Jeweers' Weekly.
Squelched.- -"Sir," began the book
canvasser Il have a little work here
-" Sorry" interrupted the busy
man, but have a great deal of werk
here. Good morning!'-Chcago News.
well, Ned finally proposed last Sun
day evening"" WAS he embarrassed"
Embarrassed? should say SO! Why,
he made such hard work of 1t was
afraid he'd desecrare the Sabbath!'-.
Puck.
Parson Goodman--Oh, brethren!
what shall we do to be savedi Deacon
Joslyn Dust back from New York
trip, and very tiredl-Don't blow out
fre.-Judge.
Wife (earnestly)--George, dear,
have prayed so feryently OF late for
tailor-made gown that | feel II would
be flying In the face of Providence not
TO go and get measured at once
Brooklyn Life, .tsaa1H 5
About the hottest thing have seen
lately" Asbury Peppers remarked, as
lie speared the best slice OF melon,
was an old salt, with peppery tenn
per. who had just been mustered out.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Freddie do you know what the Bi-
Bile says about lie?" asked his mother
with feigned severity. ''Yeth, maam,'
lisped Freddie; IA lie Is an abomina-
ton unto the Lord and very refuge
in time of trouble. kansas City Star.
Mamma Johnny, what did you mean
by saying NO" when | asked you II
you went bathing, when you knew you
were telling wrong story? johnny
Didn't you tell me the other day to be
man and learn to say "No?'-Boston
Transcript a1 V- 8
at amt only English people drops
their aitches," said Il little boy to the
new teacher. 81 never heard no Amer
lean pronounsce the aitch Ia my
name" What Is your naIne:' asked
the teacher. Johnny" said the little
boy Harper's Bazaar.
Mr.. Uncertain-You keep private
yacht, don't you, Dubious? Mr.. Du-
bous-Oh. yes. Mr.. Uncertain-Well,
next to money, what is the most I'M
portant adjunct necessary to the main
tenance of craft of that kind? MIR.
Dubious Credit.-Stray Stories. ss q
Skeptic-You still believe In spirit
ualism. aud yet at the seance last
night the medium called up your
grandmother and she didn't know how
many daughters she had. Believer
Oh. well. grandmother's memory was
getting very poor few days before
she died.
IL L give yOu u quoi tSif Sss'o NAA~ ~
lady, kindly, what assurance have l
that you will not Immediately go on
and get intoxicated?' Madam, re-
piled the polite tramp, sit would give
me the greatest pleasure In the world
to demonstrate TO you that It isn't
enough for the purpose. Chicago
Post.
President of the Conpany-L guess
you'd better discharge that boy. Man
ager- Why? He seems to be a nice,
quiet kind of boy and haven't no.
ticed that he has neglected his work.
President That's all very true but |
don't think he has the making OF
financial genius In him. He's been
around here for more than three weeks
now and hasn't given either you or me
to understand that he knows more
about the business than we do.
Tourist docking back upon difficult
| bit of mountain path he has just trav-
ersed)-Ugh! that's as ugly bit of
dangerous climbing as I've ever bean
over. There must have been lot OF
accidents there. Why don't they put
up g notice board to the effect that its
dangerous? Guide-There was an ac-
cident there once, sir, and they put up
notice at the entrance to the pass;
but as nobody else came and fell down
the chasm they did away with the
board.
And" said the short little woman
after giving her order to the walter, as
she tried in vain to touch her toes 10
the fioor ''and, John. want has
sock" John nodded, and, as he hand
| Ell his order to the waiter, said: Yes.
and bring II hassock for the lady" The
| waiter did not go, but brushed the
tablecloth with towel and rearrang-
/ ed the articles on 1t several times,
while his face got very red. Then he
/ came around to Johns side, and,
speaking sotto voce, said: Say, mister.
j ,,a.on,t haau here long and I'm nor