Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-02-12

Sergeant" began MIR. Dunder as he
called to see the fat policeman the
other day, Il doan' know What | shall
do nit my son Shake. He get me into
some trubbles almost eafery day. Do
you see my black eye?"
Il should say SOL" exclaimed the
sergeant as he turned from his blotter.
s'Why, you must have been hit by a
flying beer-keg!"
1T yhas Shake who vhaS to blame"
continued Mr.. Dunder as he lowered
the bandage to cover his damaged OPP
tic HE comes home one day and
says:
. 'Fadder, maybe some man comes
into our saloon some day und won't go
oudt until you gif him a drink. If you
fight him you vhas licked man. You
shall 30 und learn to box. If you vhas
boxer you can knock eaferybody into
next week und be all right
HE speaks to me like dot, sergeant,
und | belief it was a good thing. l
goes nit him to a boxing school. und
he vhas so tiekled he laughs all der
time. Dot boxing man he says he gifts
me sooch lesson dot in one time | can
knock a loafer clear across der street.
Maybe yo' dean see somebody bow.
II think | have-once or twice" re-
piled the sergeant.
"Vhell. | take off my coat und west
und collar und put on der gloves.
Shake whispers to me dot l shall
slump around und strike oudt und
knock dot boxing man oudt OF der Win
dow | like dot idea, und when we
stands COP | belief he WAS gonsr. |
play nit him leetle while, und | let
him hit me six times to encourage
him. Den Shake cries oudt for me 10
go in und knock him oudt, und 1
breaks loose"
And what happened?' asked the
sergeant, as Mr.. Dunder sighed and
caressed his eye.
Il thought l vhas playing nit dot
boxing-man, but it vhas not so; he
WAS playing nit me. Before | could
knock him through the window ne
strikes oudt-so, und | see fire und
stars and cannon balls und go to sleep.
1t vhas half an hour before | wakes
COP, but Shake was still laughing. i
like to belief he vhas good boy und
loves his ladder but l am sure he paid
dot boxing-man 81 to knock me oudt.
II he didn't, why should he laugh no.
no! no! und ha hal ha! und roll oafer
on der floor und hat tears in his eyes?'
"And didn't you take but one les
SOM"
70 course not. Vhas | some idiots?
If / hat to light nit some old lOafer |
Shall hit him nit a chair Vhas dot
right for Shake to put oop some shobS
on his fadder? Like enough dot box
ing-man kills me dead, or l vhas a
cripple for life. If your only son do like
dot yashn't you hurt in your feel
ings?"
Anything else?" aueried the SER
geant. III
..0I course. One day sees Shake
looking at me long time, und by und
by he has tears in his eyes und shakes
his head. | ask him il my brudder-in
law vhas dead, und he saws:
'Fadder, you vhas too tat. If you
Ree-r en- Ga VII fall oafer und die. |
doan like to speak about it und make
you sad, but something must be done.
You shall go by dot gymnasium und
take exercise und be all right again
dot seems all right to me, sergeant,
und Shakes goes along to show me der
way. He doan' cry any more, but
laughs more ash ten times. When we
come to dot place | hat to take off my
Maybe, you hat seen dot pole? She
vhas high COP, unc VOC NAT to slump
oop und grab. | slump COP und shump
COP, burt \ doan' grab her for a long
time. WhAn | vhas hold Shake says
must put my legs oafer. l shall neffer
know how she vhas, but l falls on my
! back und smash der floor und faints
away und vhaN almost killed. | hat
more ash six blasters on my back to-
day, und cam hardly Walk. When [
opens my eyes\ Shake thAs going ha,
ha! hal und hoN no! HOY und he can't
shpeak to me foN fife minutes. | goes
home by an express wagon for twenty
fife cents, und WHEN l goes to lick
Shake he says:
Fadder. Iaf saved your life. You
eAall -no/1onger die of apoplexy Wei
come home. You Vhas now like some
antelope"
Il suppose Jake meant it for the
best" observed the Sergeant, as Mr.
Dunder walked around in a perturbed
way.
Maybe he did-maype he did, but l
doan' like her. How vhas it nit some
horse race? | neffer so Ply sooch
places, und if Shake goes l gif him
some awful lickings. One day he
comes to me und says:
"Fadder, l doan' like to scare you,
but maybe you go into consumption
und vhas in your grave in three
months. You vhas in der saloon all
day and doan get some fresh air. If