Willmar tribune., 1899-02-22

There is quite demand that the
penitentiary lemon be squeezed, fig
uratively speaking.
***
DOESN'T WANT INVESTMENT MORT
County Line:
The editor of Cubano Libre, it is
quite evident, hasn't lived in the back
woods all his life. He believes that
Cubans alone should invest capital in
Cuba; foreigners are not wanted,
''for," says he, America is proof Of
what monopolists can dn in running a
country" Truly, that man deserves
the title of a philosopher.
PLUrocRArs ARE NOT DEMOCRATS.
Waseca Herald:
The Republican and Democratic
gold combine papers and Mr.. Dunnel-
ly are rejoicing over the insu ting ed
! itorial of the Globe denounciny silver
republicans. The republican monop-
olists quote what the democratic
monopolists say, and Donnelly quotes
! them both as against such men as
Towne, Bryan, Lind, Bowler, Owen,
and every other prominent reformer
! who does not bow to the dictation Of
Donnelly, the Globe and the balance
OF the Jim Hill crowd. The people
should bear in mind that the gold
monopolists of the Globe. Jim Hill
and Grover Cleveland stripe are no
, longer democrats. They are part and
parcel of plutocracy, as much so as
are Depew and Mckinley.
MISSES FIRE.
G 'enwood Herald:
That stupendous gold find in the
Cripple Creek district of Colorado,
may cause a radical change in the
c: :.mpaign war-cry of the populists two
years hence. Instead of the free and
u llimited coinage of silver at the ra-
ito of Is to |, it may be then altered
to the free and unrestricted coinage
Of gold at ratio of too.
This rich strike, while it may in
crease the output of gold several mil
lion dollars for few years, will be
bat as drop in the bucket of the cir
culating medium of the world. In
stead of worrying the popu]ists rich
find of gold will be gladly welcomed
by them. AS long as superstition
confines the prosperity of the people
to the tickle chances OF discovery of
scarce metals, and plutocratic usurers
have narrowed down the supply of
money to gold only, there is nothing
that wonld please us better than the
discovery of mountains of gold. No.
thing would give plutocracy, which
thrives on the dire necessities of the
poor classes, more trouble. What a
! streak of prosperity we would enjoy
before the people could be "educated"
to the theory that gold after all did
not possess intrinsic value and that it
should be demonetized. The people
love their mortgages so and have such
mortal fear of money, that they
would no doubt demonetize it the first
chance they would get, but there would
be brief respite at all events.
*
THE PLEA OF THE HORSE
Dumb Animals:
If horse could talk these cold days
he would say: "Give me dry bed,
for can't sleep in the mud or on the
cold boulders placed in my stall to
prevent me from paving the ground
up when yon fail to give me enough
of the right kind of feed. There's
plenty of straw in the poorly stacked
pile going to waste, and if you would
take little time in getting it, you
could provide me good bed. Stop
up that crack and put in a new pane
of glass to keep out the cold, and
please don't water me out of the swill
pail. Give me pure water to drink,
good corn and oats, and I will repay
you when spring comes. When you
put on the harness please see that it
fits me, for you know I can't work if
the harness is too small. If the roads
are icy, better interview the black
smith. Come, remember the golden
rule. Another very important thing
for you to remember is-do not let me
stand out in the cold all day while you
hang around saloons, drug stores and
blind pigs filling your skin with good
or bad liquor.
A PIPE-FUL FOR THE GLOBE.
Evidently the Dick Crokerites of the
Democratic party are bound that the
great and unsettled issue of bimetal-
ism shall not come up as a national
issue next year, and they are busy just
now batching out issues to take its
place. Most of these will prove stale
and we prophesy that when the Ma
tional Democratic convention meets,
these croakers will find their occupa-
tion gone, just as they found it gone