davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14
ENGLISH RED TAPE.
IT Took "a Broken Leg 10 Get the
Chair Repaired.


1t il stated that one morning recent
" Il young fellow who had just secured
n clerkship In government Office was
considerably startled by little scene
that he witnessed. An elderly man. one
Of the senior clerks in the room, snd-
denly rose from his desk, dragged the
comfortable chair on which he had
been sitting into the middle Of the
room, seized poker and attacking tho
chair with great vigor succeeded in
breaking one Of its legs. When il was
done, the official gave a sigh of relief
and flung the chair into corner of the
room. The budding junior 3 first thought
was that his senior had suddenly taken
leave of his senses, and he almost ex-
pected that his colleagues would put
him under restraint But to his aston
ishment the other clerks hardly raised
their eyes while the work of destruction
was in progress. Before the Office work
was over the newcomer sought informa-
ton from one of his fellow clerks.
"Can you tell me. said he, "why
Mr.. Dash carried on in that extraordi-
nary fashion | mean, of course, when
he broke Il perfectly sound leg off the
chair in which he had been sitting
"Oh, that was all right" replied the
other with meaning laugh "a caster
had come off one of the legs OF that
chair, and, you know, my lords will
not provide us with new casters; they
w III attand IN NOT hing lass thon n broken
leg. So Dash had to break one of the
legs to get his chair put right at the
public expense. london Standard
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14
"I dldn,t smell II. but started for

81 didn't smell 1t. but started Tor
home with Old Blacky and father on
my mind-Old Blacky, to see II l
couldn't find her aud get that three dol
lars. and father. because l wanted 10
get back as quick as | could.
1T seemed rougher going back over
the hills than it had coming suppose
because / was a little tired. Some
times the way was through pasture
lots. but mostly 1t was over falloW
ground, bushy and stumpy, and plenty
of rocks. but not many trees. There
wasn't any roadway.
Il hadn't got near to the summit
when | saw something that made me
stop something dark behind
rocks and bushes, down in a KIND OF
little hollow. There were no leaves on
the bushes, you know; so l could see
something through them that looked
like black hair.
Il went little nearer and looked
little harder, and then | Off with my
cap and swung 1t around, and sang out:
l1uTIdH lOI ludl iiliNO -
yours, Squire Plummer! Then called:
Co boss, co boss, CO boss. Come,
Blacky, Gomez
But the old thing wouldn't stir. l
picked mp some little stones Il SHE'D
'em ut her 10 hurry her up. l didn't
want to lose time, but I did want TO
drive her home with me for fear some
one else might get ahead of me II lett
her there and then came back. | called
to her and kept on throwing, but still
she wouldn't bulge an inch.
"Then thought Id slide down the
side of the hollow she was in, and get
ahead of her and drive her out.
tried rolling down lot of stones and
gravel first, almost over her head, 10
see If that wouldn't start her; but 1t
didn't. SO l began sliding myself
down.
but Just then heard growl-such
growi as no mortal COW ever made
yet, | know. And there began such
scratching of gravel and such scrab-
bling up that bank, mixed mp With
growls all the time, that | scrabbled
myself up pretty lively, and started to
run, tell you.
when I'd got little piece off l
looked back, and just getting to the top
of the bank was Old Blaeky; but 1t
wasn't black COW. 1t was black
bear, sure's you live.'
Tom paused moment to enjoy the
little ripple OF establishment and dis
may which came in just here.
you'd better believe l ran. But 1t
was hard work-up hill, and rough, too.
tumbled over logs and ! jumped
through bushes, and he trottng after
me all the time, mad, | suppose, with
the stirring up I'd given him, growing
like young thunderstorm all the
while.
"Soon l began to feel how tired my
walk had made me, and to wonder how
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14
A HOmesick Nurse.

An army nurse who lately returned
from Cuba to Washington declares that
never again will she go to country
whose language she cannot understand
1t was before hostlities had come to q
definite end that she was startled ona
day by the unexpected visit of her Gu.
ban laundress. The woman was In.
tensely excited. Anxiety sat on her
brow and sorrow dwelt in her eyes
She gesticula ted and talked. The nurse
knew not a word of what she said, but
the pantomime filled her with terror.
The Cuban's hands seemed to speak
of an attack upon the hospital-Oi
wounded men butchered and nurses
cut to ribbons. The nurse was frantic
She must know the worst. In the hos
pital was an officer very i'll with t.
phOid fever. She knew he understood
Spanish. Only in matter of life OF
death would she disturb him, but this
was obviously matter of life or DEATH
She led the Cuban woman to the bed
side and there the story was repeated
The officer listened intently. The nurse
held her breath. The Cuban ceased
The sick man turned his head on lna
pillows.
''She says" he whispered feebly
'she says the stripes in your pink snlr'
waist have run. and she doesn't know
what to do with it,
That same nurse confesses to haFins
been desperately homesick down IN
Cuba.
1T gave me the blues" she said. nV'
TO be able to make even the chllofrA
understand me, and one day, one lIlolso
day, a great big sleek cat walked ll'
my room. | was so glad to find sou''
thing that could understand me,
Kitty, kitty. kitty! | said. The cav
didn't turn its head.
PUSSY, pussy! | said. The cat 'ooA
no notice. The cattle very cat spoAs
Spanish. 1t was more than | coulD
bear. | couldn't even call a cat
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14

long ago. II all that man said was true'
perhaps It would send him kitinS down
as good as If he'd been shot.
Il poured a lot of it on my hahoher'
chief, most all there was, looking out
10 Keep "A little back for father lli'
more could be sent for. | tried to Keep
from getting the smell of IL myself pot
The wind whitfield some of 1t into my
face. and do the best | could it strah'
gled me so | came mighty near drop
ping.
Il held the handkerchief tight Ill my
hand. and reached it down just as the
bear poked his ugly muzzle up between
the lower branches. He gave Dig
sniff as he saw it coming, thinking
suppose, he'd got me sure; and the next
instant | was rubbing 1t like tufy
against his nose and into his eyes.
HE gave most awful snort, ana let
go. and went crashing down on the
stones and bushes l thought for a
moment he was dead, but he WASH l.
He scrabbled himself up, and went
snarling and tumbling over and over
down-hill like all possessed.
az didn't wait to see how far he went,
though, for | dropped out of that tree
and put out of that neighborhood al
most as lively as the bear had. After
a while I took it easier, for | reasoned
he wouldn't be likely TO track me, after
the dose I'd given him. That's all"
wasn't It a good revolver now
asked Toms mother, regarding The
bottle with affectionate interest.
'.And you didn't find the cow after
all?" | asked, after expressions OF ap-
prevail of his GOODNESS had been ex-
hausted.
mo: buttons eyes twinkled-"l
told Sam Plummer, Squire Plummer's
son, what I'd seen and where I'd seen
it, and he went after it with his gun,
and finished what the ammonia had
left; and Sam said it was no more than
fair / should have share of 1t, SO he
gave me the skin, and l sold 1t for
twelve dollars. SO it paid better than
II it had been Old Blacky, you see."
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14

Some Irish body snatchers had rifled
a grave and hid their booty in corner
of the churchyard, when it occurred to
half tipsy fellow, who had been watch
ing them unobserved, that it would be
pleasanter to be driven back to the near
est town than to walk. He accordingly
secreted the dead man under hedge
and lay down in his place. He was duly
transferred to cart, but when about
half the journey was over one of the
men who had touched his hand scream
ed to his friend. "Good heavens, the
body Is warml'
Hereupon. in deep voice, the sup
posed dead man remarked, IF you had
been where I've been for the last two
days, you'd be warm tool"
In moment he was left in full pos
session of the vehicle Sir NJ. Z. Grant
Duff's Diary.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14
Trees Killed by Its Sting.

]. s. Boren exhibited in Cadiz, Ky,
most remarkable horned snake
which he plowed up in field on his
place. The snake has. near the end of
his tail, a long, keen horn, which
comes to a point as sharp as a needle
This is the first serpent of this variety
ever seen In Kentucky.
The snake. when angered, takes the
end Of its tail in its mouth and rolls
like hoop toward the object of its
wrath. but, just before reaching it, the
serpent stands almost upon its head
and thrusts this prong into whatever
1t would strike down. Mr. Boren de.
clares that the horn Of the snake is
filed with poison, and that blow from
1t is deadly. 1t is said that even tree
stung by this variety Of reptile will II
the sap Is up, die In a few hours.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14
THE TWO OLD WOMEN.

Two gathering crones, antique and gray.
Togei her talked at close of day.
One said. with brow of wrinkled care,
sLife's cup at first was sweet aud fair:
ION our Young lips. with laughter gay,
It's cream of brinming nectar lay;
But vapid then it grew, and stale
And tiresome as n twice-told tale;
And here in weary age and pain
Its bitter dregs alone remain
The other, with contented eye,
Laid down her work and made reply
Yes, life was bright as morning tide,
Yet, when the foam and sparkle died,
More rich. methought, and purer, too,
Its well-concocted essence grew
Zen now, tho low its spirit drains,
AJd little in the cup remains,
81 here's sugar at the bottom STILL
And we may take ii il We WILL
New York Ledger.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14

While we were eating breakfast the
farmer said: "Tbat remark o. yourn
yisteddy about sellin Elmiry the dishes
an hayin the coffee fer nothin minds
me O. the way Hi Robinson got some
thin fer nothin out O the storekeeper
at the village You member Hi, don't
you He's kinder slow spoken, N some
folks calls him foolish One day l was
settin in the store spell, with lot
more, an in comes Hi. He goes mp TO
Iisb, who keeps the store, an takes an
egg out o his pocket an says, How'll
you swapf' ooh, DIN kno's want to
swap fer one egg. says Lish; what do
you want fer itY "A darnin needle.
WELL III swap with you, says Lish
an took the egg an Civ him the darnin
needle.
eli stood round awhile, an then he
says, drawlin like, Say, amt you goin
to treat?' Treat? On one darnin
needle 2 says Lish. Not much. 'Feller
cross the way will, says Hi. Lish
grinned. 'All right, says he, jest to
humor him; 'what'll You havef' Cider
m egg," says Hi. That tickled the
rest O us, but Lish brought the cider
an broke the egg into it-Hi's own egg
an Hi see 1t was double yelker. Hi
took up the glass an looked at the
egg some time Then he says, says he,
Say, hadn't you better gimme mother
darnin needle9 Forest and Stream.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14
1t would be with me II got clear tired
out before the bear did, as seemed very

1t would be with me II got clear tired
out before the bear did, as seemed very
likely.
when l knew l couldn't hold out
much longer l made for tree, and
climbed up 1t quicker than | ever
climbed n tree before or since.
"Then tried to catch my breath and
reach of the bear; but l wondered how
long he might keep me up that tree be-
fore any one came to look for me, and
| thought of father wanting the medi-
cine, and, II you'll believe me,
thought, too, about that blamed old
cow and the three dollars l wasn't 60
ing to get for finding her.
"But it doesn't take long to think,
you know, for | thought all that before
the bear got to the foot of the tree, and
1t was n mighty short while, too; and
when he did get there he walked
around it, and smclled little, and the
first thing knew he was clawing away
at the bark, and climbing up after me.
'Then l began to think harder than
ever. I'd read Of boy who was up
tree, with a bear after him, and he
climbed out on some weak limbs,
where the bear had sense enough to
know he couldn't go, and he kept the
poor little chap there, growing at
him, till some one came and shot the
bear. But this wasn't that kind of
tree. The limbs were stubby, and
knew the bear could go almost as far
as | could.
Il looked down to see what chance
I'd have IL | swung myself down, and
got new start of him: but the tree
was n tall one, and it was all stony
under the branch where I was. If
should get sprain or hurt, It would
be all up with me. So my only chance
was TO keep out OF his way the best
could. put my hand into my pocket
to get ont my knife. for l wasn't going
to let him get the better of me without
a tussle.
'Then what do you guess l felt? And
what do you guess l thought? Why, l
felt that bottle of ammonia, and |
thought of that time in church. And,
cracky! If could help laughing right
ont, rs | thought If | could only get it
on that bear as I'd got 1t on myself
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14

The old-fashioned cold has been op,.
ed To some extent from its former mas,
ton in domestic medicine by the mo,,
modern Influenza. An attack of ina.
attendance ut the office or shop than .
cold. the latter being commonly ~
garded as au accommodation Inn
drawn by laziness on idieness. Thar.
is unquestionably such Il thing as a
cold-that is To say u deviation from
health obviously consequent upon and
due to exposure TO cold and damn. Ths
initial sensation OF cold is followed hv
more OF less pronounced physical dis.
comfort, possibly by more definite
signs and symptoms of bronchitis or
other disease frigore.
With that prediction for nexorabla
logic which characteriZes the undis.
corning. the average citizen regards
every illness commencing with a chin
as IA cold, losing sight of the fact that
there are chills-i. e.. sensations of cold
which are in no wise due to the a.
ton of low temperatures. This vulgar
error has been productive Of serious
consequences i'll more than one direc.
ton. Nowadays, and rightly, we are
all for fresh air. We fear no foe save
the ubiquitous microbe, and we fight
him with fire and poison, with results
that amply suffice to Justify this war
a outrance. 1t may, on the other hand
be person with weak chest who
experiences chilli and as it is thee.
retically impossible ever to exclude the
influence Of cold, he or she attributes
the symptoms which folloy-the cough,
the sweating, the expectoration, etc.
TO incautious exposure, whereas the
chill merely heralded a rise of ten.
perature incidental to an outburst Of
tuberculous disease. 1t would surprise
many intelligent people to be told that
q chill Is a sign that there Is fever, and
that sweating Is usually a sign that
fever Is abating. Yet such is the unvar.
nished fact, and it would be we'll for IL
to be generally known.
Cold is merely Il facilitating agent,
the effects whereof will vary according
to the individual. 1t throws strain On
the organic machinery and the weak
est part gives. If the machine as a
whole is in good trim nothing happens
beyond a little temporary discomfort.
In rheumatic person it may deter
mine pains in the joints; in another.
bronchitis; in third, kidney trouble;
and so on-in short, it picks out the
weak spots and converts weakness
into disease. Colds are VIGOROUSLY ID
fectious, and the places where colds are
most frequently caught are plans
where ventilation Is defective aud
where microbes abound, as in certain
theaters, churches, railway carriags
and the like, so that even the symP
toms of the old-fashioned cold are, for
the most part, the result of microbaI
infection and not of exposure.-LondOH
Medical Press and Circular.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14

He had discoursed learnedly, if some
what wearyingly, to his friend ON the
influence of food upon character.
"Ten me-" said he in summing up.
''tell me what man eats and will
tell you what he Is. !"
His friend, though fatigued. was
evidently interested.
''There is only one question wish to
ask you" he said.
"Ask 1t, replied the discourser mag
unanimously, with an air that said very
clearly. "Give me hard one while
you are at 1t and I'll show you how
smart am,.'
sit is this" replied the fatigued
friend. slow much sage tea would
you have to drink to make wise man
Of yourself2"
No answer being promptly forthcom-
ing, the conference broke up. st Louis
Post Dispatch.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14
A BIoodthirsty Editor.

A down east editor has drawn mp
some new game laws which he wants
adopted. The following is a summary
Book agents may be killed from
Oct. l to Sept. 1 spring poets, from
March l to June l; scandalmongers
from April 1 to Feb. Il umbrella bor-
rowers, from Aug. to Nov. and
Feb. to May /, while every man who
accepts a newspaper two years, and.
upon being presented with his bill, says.
Il never ordered itl may be killed on
the spot. without reserve or relief. -
Christian Register.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14
LOW PRICES.
Theatrical Managers Have Still Some
Ground for Congratulations.

oTOuhu Apf NOhk
The present tendency in all branches
Of trade is toward lower prices. Per
haps no business has felt this more
than the theatrical, in which the drops
have been so remarkable as to excite
general comment. Yet the fact remains
that longer entertainments by. some
say, better performers, were at one time
given for lower price than that now
charged for admission to gallery.
London led the world for low prices.
At the famous Globe Theater, built on
Bankside for Richard Burbage, and for
which James l. granted Il license to
Shakespeare and others, the charge for
the best boxes was at one time only 10
cents, of the lower places cents,
while in some places only cents was
charged. The twopenny gallery was
frequently referred to by the drama
lists of the EliZabethan era. For many
years the general price of the boxes
was % cents, and it was not until 1645
that we hear of $1.5O boxes. AT that
period the pit and galleries were 10
cents. 1t appears to have been the Gus
tom on the first night of a new play to
raise the prices, and the same practice
was adopted on the authors nights, or
on the representation Of expensive
plays. The hours of performance were
then between l and o'clock In the af
ternoon, commencing at the former
and terminating at the later hour. AS
years rolled ON the hour for the raising
of the curtain became later; and when,
at last, the evening became recognized
as the proper time for theatrical
amusements prices began to be in
creased until, in London, Paris and
New York, S. Is not an unusual charge.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14
short sighted.

McLubberty Ovid Uncle Moike
Duffy is out ov his moind intoirely,
Mrs McLubberty--Phot makes yez
say thot?
MISUNDERSTANDING, he's been Attn
Ell maxim his will an lavin iveryt ing
he's OCT in dhe worruld to his heirs,
not kapin back for himsilf asmuch as Il
quarter wort av anything. Think av
ut. iavin himsilf pinniless at his age,
in case he should dole Harper's Bazaar.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14
Good For "a whole CHARTER.

The overturned coaches Icy at the
foot of the embankment, where they
had rolled when the train left The track.
The wrecking train had arrived, the
crew had gone to work. and theA wound
ed had all been cared for
Twill You please tell meSyour per
sonal experience in the accident
asked areporter. whipping outAhis note
book.
"You will read about them-s SIR" re.
piled the solemn looking passenger with
slightly foreign accent. whom he had
addressed, ''in the book l slrl2l certain.
ly publish about this country Chi.
caeo Tribune.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14

ffe8luenL lfOuUot anu Ills NlOtntF
NJ. Loubet seems to be kind of in
genu among rulers-with all the sweet
simplicity and none of the arts. He
visited the little town Of Montelimar
recently, and all the place was en- fete.
His old peasant mother, trembling with
emotion, waited on a balcony specially
arranged for her, where, when the pro-
cession was over, her son was to join
her. But the President, as he was driv-
ing by, saw the old wrinkled face look
ing down at him, and in spite of the
procession, which was in danger of
being spoiled, and in spite of all the
pomp and the ceremony he was expect
ed to observe, he stopped his carriage,
jumped out, and running up the bal
cony, caught the trembling little old
lady in his arms, hugging and kissing
her before all the world with boyish
glee.
Somehow the story seems better than
any fairy tale, and the new President
twice over better prince. Harper s
Bazaar
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14

A Wonderful Drum mer.

Probably the Observation-Disclosures
mer who ever lived was Jean Henri.
the famous tambour 'major of the Err
peror Napoleon. One of his feats was
to play ON 10 different toned drums at
the same time in soJsoft andsharmoni-
GUS a manner that INSTEAD of$the deaf
ening uproar that might haveibeen ex-
pected the effect'was that ofaa novel
and complete instrument. In playing
he passed from one drum to the other
with such wonderful quicknesssthat the
eyes of the spectators coulds hardly fol-
low the movement of his thands and
body.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14
Age OF Ballet DANCERS.

A German statistician has dlsco'
cred that ballet dancers, rs Il rule, "
tain an age much above the averas'
Carlotta Grisi is II years of age ""'
.Amalla Fearraris rs. Tagllonl W"
over 80 years old when she died a"'
Fanny Elssler was "a. Bostla Ma",'
well over 30, IL still dancing ~ '''
Paris Grand Opera.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14
1t Solves the Question.

In portion Of Hanover, Germany. n
local decree requires each farmer to
deliver to the authorities twelve spar-
rows or sparrow heads between Oct, /
and Dec. or pay a fine.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14
Children of Africans

The children of the blacklist ArcieaA'
are born whltish. In month they :.
come pale yellow; III a year Drown
4, dirty black, and at or q sv'''
black.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14

The average life Of theater isS 90
years. From 1851 to 1867, inclusive. I 81
theaters We're burned down. and lSsev-
cry year since has been about the RIVER
age.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14

1t Is always pitiful when you find a
man who really has ambition, and NO
ability back of it.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14
CATCHING OF COLDS
OlD.FASHIONED COLDS s,lp,,
SEEDED BY INFLUENZA

Erroneous Ideas About This K;ns
Illness Dissipated by the Fae,. :,
What Is Signified aud How >,
Difficulty Cccurs.
Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-06-14

Silence may be golden, but s"
gains currency,
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1896-1899, 1899-02-22
psnfness canno, BE Cured

by local applications as they cannot
reach the diseased portion Of the ear
There is only OGe way TO cure deaf
ness,and that is 10y constitutional
remedies. Deafness Is caused by an
lnnamed condition of the mucous
lining OF the Eustachian Tute. When
this tube is inllamed you haye rum
bling sound or imperfect hearing, and
when II is entirely closed, Deafness is
the result, aud unless the inllamma-
tiun can be taken out aud this tube
restored 10 its normal condition, hear
ing will be destroyed forever; nine
cases out OF ten are caused hy Catarrh,
which is nothing but an inilamed cou-
ditiOn OF the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars
for any case of Deafness (caused 10y
catarrh) that cannot be cured by
Hall's Catarrh Cure. Send for CIR
culars; free.
+. j. CHENEY Il Co., Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists, Zoe.
Hairs Family Pills are the best.