The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1899-12-29
By Philip G. Hubert. Jr

1
1t sometimes seems to me as ii Ma
! ture had a keen sense of humor, and
| loved now and again to play little jokes
upon her victims. We are apt to think
/! of Nature as stern, majestic, unrelent-
! ing, pitiless. But is she really SO?
/ Animals have no sense of humor, so it
| is said, although have seen dog play
| tricks upon a cat that set a whole room
| full of people in roar of laughter.
| These, however, were clowns farces,
| while Nature plays serious jokes. For
instance, is it not an exquisite joke to
! impant in the bosom or the brain OF
man born to play the melancholy
Dane the notion that he is really fitted
| to do the comic policeman and convulse
the audience by sitting down in his
wife's pumpkin pies? That used to be
| the height of the comic mans comic
achievements when was boy. have
seen even Warren do it at the Boston
Museum don't want to say how many
years ago. Nature gives man the
| physical and mental outfit for an un-
dertaker, and at the same time drop
of poison which impels him to play the
clown. This is her little joke. 1t is a
despicabIe trick both upon the man
and upon the community called upon
| to witness his misfortunes. speak
somewhat feelingly because am only
too sure that Nature played little joke
| upon me when she filled me with the
| idea that l was born to be detective,
whereas, as a matter of fact-but that
is my story. !.
was still a very young man, as are
most men when the detective fever
seizes them, at the time entered the
employ of the Morning Gazette as re-
porter. l had no advertised and ac-
knowiedged speciality. felt myself a
| journalist, and everything pertaining
to Journalism was my field. Neyerthe-
less, if there was one thing hoped and
| perhaps prayed for, it was that some
tremendous crime might come to light
through my exertions. When the police
of New York, or perhaps of the coun-
try, or even of the continent, or of two
OF three continents, acknowledged
| themselves beaten and baffied, should
proceed to delye and think until the
criminal was landed in Jail solely
through my delving and thinking.
Such things had happened.
There was a. reporter named Bangs
on Philadelphia paper who had
| achieved fame and fortune by tracking
q supposed murderer for three months,
night and day; that he nearly succeed
ed in getting the wrong man hanged
was his-the OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES,
and not his fault. HIS newspaper ac-
knowledged his enterprise and reward
ed it. He got it into his head that q
certain man, who happened to be per-
fectly innocent, was a criminal, and
having formulated brilliant theory
he worked it out SO well, he piled his
damning evidence so high and found so
many facts to fit his theory, and if they
didn't fit made them fit, that, as I say,
he came near hanging his victim, and
| thereby won the admiration of the
whole newspaper profession Of his
town. This splendid achievement led,
of course, to emulation. For long
time all the Philadelphia reporters
went about with the idea that every
stranger they met was deep-dyed vii
lain, and worked upon the theory that
All men were guilty until they had been
proved innocent.
Another noted case occurs to me-:
that of reporter-this time from Bos-
ton-who stood one day at the ticket
window of railway station buying
q ticket for the suburb where he lived,
when another person asked for ticket
for Quebec in so peculiar voice that
the reporters detective instinct began
/ to work. The mans hand shook SO as
he held it out to receive the ticket that
the big diamond on his little finger
CLEANED all the more. Between his feet
he hugged fat vallse. Everything
pointed to the defalcation of at least
million-nervous man, ticket for Can
ada, big diamond, fat valise. The train
was to start in six minutes. The re-
porter wrote hurried note to his chief
telling him that if big bank defalca-
ton came to light that evening he had
the man and was going to track him to
his lair.
He managed to get berth near his
victim, who snored for eight hours
probably ruse-while the reporter re-
manned on the alert, When they reached
Quebec the man turned out to be the
clerk of big jewelry firm; he had been
to Boston to buy diamonds, and was
perhaps nervous about thieves, That
reporter went home feeling that he had
done his duty; for if there had been a
defalcation that man must have been
i the defaulter. 1t is of such stuff that
detectives-especially newspaper de-
| teetiyes-are made; men who step at
everything and can make something
cut of less than nothing.
To return to my own adventures in
this exciting field, was highly delight
ed when one day the managing editor
Of the Gazette called me into his room
and closed the door.
"Mr. Seymour" he said, you may
not happen to know it, but the Gazette
has recently been. imposed upon ip q
most shameful manner. Did you read
the story in last Sundays supplement
called 'paisy's Qpest'9"
.0f course" ! returned. / made il
APPOINT never to omit line of the Ga.
zette. NJ thought it was a first-rate
story-the best we have had, to my
thinking. in months"
just SO, Mr.. Seymour. Unfortunate,
Ixt r.