The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-02-17

vexed and heartsick, and yet deter
mined, feel all in a lump One min
ute 1 feel like sitting down on the curb
stone and crying and the next moment
feel like getting up and throttling the
next man who refuses to give me an
order. Perhaps this isn't very dignifed,
but 1 feel every other way combined
that girl can feel, except that the dis
appointment and defeat that have
stared me in the face for the last two
weeks, together with the torrid weather
of this place q think only know of one
place hotter in the universe), are enough
to wilt anyOne'S dignity. Darling, can
stand disappointment and trials for my
self, but know how much it ALL means
to you and that you are expecting more
from me than failures, and when use
every effort and leave no stone I'M
turned and then have to disappoint you
each day, it makes me desperate 1t is
like the man going home TO his wife
each night and telling her he can't get
any work. But. darling, try to be pa
tient and we will economize as closely
as possible from now on. We will make
this pay all right. Don't be dfScour-
aged, my sweet, and 1 won't either L
have to give way and let it out little,
but have a whole lot of reserve cour-
age and determination, and 1 will get
up and go on all right again. Shall be
so glad, darling, when 1 can be with
you. This is the last letter that will
have time to reach you before you leave
there. By-by my love, my darling, till
we are folded in each others arms.
MARTHA"
HERE IS ANOTHER LETTER.
Another letter written that same sum-
mer was:
my Darling, Sweet Howard: I came
home last evening so sick with a head
ache that 1 had to get to bed right
away, and Hannah brought me light
supper to my room later on. 1 was too
i'll to write at all, but your sweet letter
was waiting for me when L came In,
and it was such a comfort. I thought
How sweet of Howard, to put in lit
tie piece of gum and when l found out
what it was-well, if you had been here,
I wouldn't have done a thing to you
L just added it to my collection of SOU
venirs, so that whenever 1 see it l Will
remember how you fooled me-and how
glad I was that evening to have such
sweet letter. L just felt as if I would
have given the world to sink into your
big, strong, loving arms, and to have
rested my head upon that soft place
on your shoulder, and to have your dear
hands to rub all up the back OF my
head. My! but it did ache!
Il do wish, my sweetheart, that you
cent. It is SIS so gre green and, as the wind is
rather brisk, the lake is full of white
to think of our lovely drive only a week
ago, and it seems a year; .os+onao,,
pressed. ! know 1 would have sold five
p pc TED to hay have; There We're about fifteen
altogether. 1 have finished Chicago. And
placed with all the colleges. VIII follow
your directions and will see all TIE dem
lists l had appointments with. They will
know now just as well as any time whether
car fare this week; and yesterday took
a pair right away, or rather send him
pair. My! but feel hungry for a sight
Il can't do thing but think about you.
Good-by. my precious, may God keep you.
l o DR.. Lowry Lowry WAS EcoNoMICAk.
He was constantly urging. her to keep
following letter shows how hard she
tried; .,, 1.o,. ,.,,
could see You right me1 How / Wish !
could feel your loving arms close around
got an order this afternoon besides the
order for plyerS this morning. This makes
the best week hf <P aaye had yet f4 4b these lS
ers, too, and you see lost two days this
week besides. 1 will give you the orders
The one ordered today is not to be deliv-
cred till October l.. I told Hannah. this
to Battle Greek, Mich, next Week to show
machine at convention, but was uncertain
and would have to hear from you in re-
gard to the matter again. 1 did not mem
not think of you being there. hore moth
counting the hours till I see you now,
sweetheart. Good-by. my darling, I'll we
p. sNUsed only Is cents for car fare
The above letter also shows that she en-
tered into plans with him for the arrang-
ing of meetings between them.
be getting title nervous, but, talks with
trial for the day yesterday that he would
easily disprove her story when he took