The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-07-23
PIG WAS THERE SURE ENOUGH.
A sho"man's Prize, as to Which Ma
ture Was Obliged to Draw the Line

From the New York sun
Il was jogging my morse along slow
and easy one day on the edge of the AL
legany oil field. near Boliver" said John
Gilbert, the travelling grocerymau, when
l saw standing under tree by the road
side tall lank, slabsided man. His head
was toward the road, and he was ges licu-
ldtihg over wooden box that Law on a
stump in front of him, as # he were max
ing speech. The road was dusty. and
the man was so absorbed in what he was
doing that he did not hear the horse or
wagon as l drew near, and | pulled up
only a rod or so away from him. Then !
discovered thar he was, in fact. making
a speech.
Ladies and gentlemen he was say
ING, with snOrous tWanC if l hain't
got pig in this here box that's Cot four
eyes with two of EN- IoOkiu' crossways,
besides havin' seJch incidental talent as
eight legs four ears, and two tails, III
make you philopeny present of it, I've
got the pig, and it's right here in this box.
along with its four eyes, two Of EN- look
III crossways, its eight legs four ears.
two tails and all. If any of you ladies and
gentlemen has got five cents worth of
curiosity you can git red of it by walkin'
right up and seem whether I've got the
pig hid in this here box, oar whether
ought 10 go back to my native hills a
branded prevaricator. Five cents. ladies'
and gentlemen! Half dimev
The man paused peeked into the box
through an aperture in the top which had
slide over it, kept his eyes there a mo-
ment and then resumed:
Ladies and gentlemen, maybe YOU don't
wish TO see this pig with four eyes two of
EN- crossed, because of a lngerin' Gear
that IN play glass eye or two on YOU.
far from ii. Every one O. them four eyes
Is a SlmOn-pure, bOrn-with-it-in article IF
there's glass eye among EN- YOU kin
nave 1t for watch charm. Or if YOU aim
aVoldin the rush on account o. glass ewes
maybe it's wooden legs you're suspectin'?
Now ladies and gentlemen, do I look like
man that would ft wooden legs 10 a four
eyed pig and go around The country crack
in 1t up as moral show? Do I-thank voul
Pass your eye right in there, sir
THE man drew the slide. waved hi.
hand toward it and bowed, just as he were
receiving patron and exhibiting 10 hin,
the curiosity alleged to be in the box The
movements in doing this made him aware
of the fact that he really had an audience
and he turned toward me, showing no en-
barassmenl whatever
How do?" said he. Tn sort o. re-
hearsin'. m goin' over to the county
fair next week with this here show o.
mine. and I'm rehearsin' my lecture.
al
EN- crossed. Eight legs. Four ears. Two
tails. It's in this here box And I'm goin'
to turn it into a BARI o money I GOT This
here pig down yender in Pennsylvanv. T
wasn't lOokin' for nothin' o. the sort but
was lookin round for a good farm. They
had been braggin' a whole lot on their
farms down there. Jim Slocum. he had
erowed cornstalk that was twelve foot
four inches high, and a tater vine six foor
five inches high. and raised a match ~ rasr
berry bushes that stood nine foot seven
from root TO tip. Jim raised the price of
his farm $50 an acre cause it could grow
setch rippin' things. A Teller had come
along and almost bought the place. when
what does Pete Sieeper's farm do but come
to the front with a cornstalk fourteen foot
sight inches high, with three fulI-grown
ears O. corn on it nine foot from the
ground each ear sixteen inches long. The
price O Pete's farm shot up $50 an acre
and the Teller that was goin' TO buy Jim
Slocum's place froze on TO Sleeper's. Old
Davey Jolls he got jealous over it, He
couldn't find no giant corn nor 'taters nor
raspberries on his farm, and so he couldn't
put up the price of his land. Ii was iest
then that ! was iookin' round TO buy me a
snug farm TO settle down on, and l heerd
that the Jolls place could be bought way
below what farms was bein' held at down
that way. So l trapesed over there 10 buy
it. l found Davey Jolls dancin' round
with his nose in the air and his farm
marked way up above what Sleeper had
showed his place 70.
Elbows this, farmer?" I says to
Jolls.
"'"How's this?' he says, swellin' out.
This is how it is: They kin have their
big later vines and their tail cornstalks
and their towerin' raspberry bushes" ne
says, but have they got the farm thatu