davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-03-31

Cash quotations were follow. t1ogg Mo1'ga,e DC
rnand and firm. 10 spring wheat iiP,2c 81 , spring
yellow corn. 35isc - oats. = r2Not y, wntes
3oQ3oNc. " whi'e ~ G3o e. = i}e 80 e.. 30 :
- .t,,ott, seed g., mess
g. o51so larl per 100 n mas - D. short ribs sides
oo-e s. 4o0si 90. dry saned should lo'Aed - -
81 80 short clear sides boxed S1tS" II" WniSN'' az
fl.,. finished goods per gal 81 % sugars. cut loaf
s ~ graduated. s. 30. clover. c'ntrnr gTa1e - o.
on Produce Exchanse ~ DAY in, ILil'r nl,N'' AZ
fresh Il%nl2 cheese steady. cTeamefies ll'api-a'.
cincinnati. March 2o-Fiour s.eady W9ea5 quiet NJ
rcd 74P74ac corn ouIe'. No iNiNe' c a. f,,,ter
nrn sugar steady Eggs firm lolar Cheese firm
Milwaukee March 30 wheat e. higher g.. ] N'-th
ern 70. NJ Northern. 7ic Rye higher ~ j. 'o'
Barley higher. No . 4Ipi7.sr. samIl" 4'eH4'I.
Minneapolis March 30 wheat-No Northern, March
10 Man 7ii.c July 70. on track 10 hard q
H. Northern 7o7.c 80 > Northern. Ga'.c Flour FIT
nsten Toe higher at So 75G$3 - second patents 50 30
s. g. first clear, S2o'aS- To- bran D" '''N
$40 -.
Philadelphia Marcl Wheat '.c lower contresc'
grade March Io''g175s,, CoF' %S"s a,q 81 yhite
clipped ~ - No do 34a3+'Rc 80 mixed. CLIPPED
a5aa3 Flour firm and 5aie 2s5 90 OBJ hfegr
roller clear 81 l5aSS 81 do straight - toa - 60 90
straights 81 dnGS3 So do patent 81 DoS4 10 Butter
mr., fan-y Western creamer, c2isc. DO prints 2'ic
Ms.h g - msrs' 81 70 9 %9so AZ f ss
81 '5aS 10 W I.ai ''n, ~ g57f7 r. b,-i To-
rrir 3si.c Oat. frar.lonay higher. - cash. ISL
March cSi,c. May. -. July. 23c' NJ white "Ig5-
steai,. creancr, lsa22c. dairy. l3Flsc. Legs lower
l0i.c
Toledo. March ao-wheal active 10 cash. -.
cs,E a. bid 1ToTcrseed dun unchanged prime cash
old 81 p hid. cash March and April 81 80 od
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-03-31

i,e'iILe az NeH Orleans morrow were officially
eatl"aira 10 De 1000 Q, 500 bales againgt
erl.sl lacy week and / ll5 last year To-morrows re-
cops al Houston were estimated T. iai
"2afsi o. iN last week and GGs Iae' wear
HectIts % the ports and interior ullrfs lav rom
ia-ei Wlh th+ same DAY iast aeok ana Iay, wear
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-03-31
Ocean Steamers.

-16 EUROP EAN TO RS
a. British Isles thoroughly 90 days, sSSo , swss -
,.,s soG5 inward Italian ~ DAYS $3.50 w HIGH cars
T.,r FIRST class throughout . months s"oV fitANA
n AT-pTl = co % Nassau y Y.
I1KENCH LINE.
coMPAGNIE GENERALE TRANsATLANTi9L
Sailing a. follows at 10 A NJ
From, pier No AZ North River. foot Morton street 90
Ia hernandez April l. la Toufaine ..,.--. April =
"a ciampagne April La Sascosns ... AMI ~
-" TtTsf-class passage Havre. So and upward
c.,u Agency for L. :. and can, Bowling Green. n T.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-03-31


METAIs-Features n the day in tho local me'al mar
ke' were stitening in prices ~ copper and wesae7
de cry metal ursen, demand, Tho latter 10 hght ~
f. ass ard lnaine .n 81 noyeI M p,ne oepa
ei Exchange called pig IRON warrants quet ~ $40 -
g., n.N'" ma, Sl.'a ., 49, . ~ --Ssfs
TT al the close nm and someWhat -arce r pIomp
al 1pr9 Era Ma, s4!qS2, i. Isa9 ,i.e4 sPs
q 81 s5qse 40 for spot and Sc masc$7 for Apr' ana
Grr spot i6s is "a futures ica is. 81 Tin cIos.
l. lead was quoted al ia Is e. ,I-cr A. 20 h. Tie
J. mon market viii be closed unti TUESDAY next
- Vailed IN the moassee marko' iini while quiet &"
SIMS ruled yerv STEADY h1t quot Cn0taf6ns follow,
New -orleans centrifugal rommon lla15. far. l3aic
Pr f FiiH eca7c NqS nn o;s" "a ~
~ l4ilai5isc good iGgI7c prime lsaI9r. nnc} -
OCEAN FHElGHTs The market for t~rth fregnts vas
~ C,ass.V 2i,d' Bristol 10 Iert ai,l' uiu ai
Newcastle. 81. Antwerp l%d: HAMBURG - pfcnniE-
per H. i2c London. .FIIFIGiITs
mere continue tnod demand 5r fa io-nnge o. all
n,tr or no demand and rates were nominal In th
rag but ali oih'r departments were quiet
ous-Thers was ~ chang 81 ,hs cot,onsesi oil mar
.~GyeT Ta,ei tn ann Tehned psiT'eIm quir, gu
ion ,3o' ~ % nm, S' n s7a ~ a aux - 80
s. crude naphthe cargoe $40 deodorzed so -. eo,
isais f 6rn p' Sumner yea1 gre s.ua summer
l'" 20; butter grades 5Vg"2e prime white &c prime
yellow. 3puB2 linz -eI. American 47n4sc.
American boiled, 4sa50o calcutta raw. Sc. lard OIL.
salt
PROVISIONS The make: slowed some decline during
be- dag under LIQUIDATION and sympathy with corn hut
rallied slightly me close up'uru grain
YORK S.ady. quoted. Mcss. $50 81 81. family siu 0
$lD -. short so 5OnSl2 ~ BEEF -Sf'n1f
quoted. Mess 81. family ~ JONxlI packet. 5vDyiu
extra India SiJNS 80 -. .... BEEF HAMS frl.
quoted SIS JJNSls. ....... DRESSED HOGS Flrm,I
quoted: BarDi Jc. 80 H. j-sc. 100 ~. 5itc rgs sH.
.....CIT MEATS Picked bellies quiet. quoted 9uofnr
ieihes J@u5+c; lo n. btic. I'm 5lsc. u H. o.
Picked shoulders dull quoted AZ 3isc. Picked hams
quiet. quoted 7'4Q7'sc. Western Che Western
: j.. G1zc. city greene 1u14c TALi<'N Steady
rity. 4Ac asked. country. 5sN4+c ...... LARI-Eas1
quoted 5JOq5 Doc CITY hard quiet quoted i5c i
Refined lard quiet quoted South America 625c.
nent. 400. Brazil 100 Compound nfm. quoted
cry. 4sec: Western. fac. STEAHiNE Weak quNei
Ven bA4c city lard atesrfne. SIC
REGAL reaching he price maree of
encouraging character hoders hui failed 10 stimulate
business 10 oTv agprecate extern A. tle close nrn
under prevailed guotat foioa Domestic c0rnm0u
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-03-31

The ement of cotton AT iAverpoo durnS - ae
~ with previous W'Fh- was an
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-03-31
81. -. .. -. 80. IN .he lccaI maret % ~

Fceir" Donee mar--s,S Senl.- n o n hs %
n ~ bag Hamburg coffee nlark"t opened 3 pig
rrer. A. . ~ = unchanged t. 4 pfs advance"
s.'.e "a o4, bags Havr,-Con,e market opened quiet
u-ct god a. 70 unchanged. at N irregular. July
,-oi.--ss others a, franc lower. closed frame higher
~ rYl, other months unchanged. total sales Coz"
hsg8
rsnsa-v ....... 1850 July ~ -
1.r-+.~ - Al - -
Nar,li ............ 300 september - -
October .-f' 80
- "a - Noten,t,.r .......... 80 -
- december .-''' -
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-03-31
THE STATE or TRADE.

Roston March 30 Flour quiet. r"eeIpr 23>' bhs.
sprne patents S4aS4 spring bakers S%0> 80 wa'"r
tfcrfs So Snrs4 30 winter clears ana sraghs 50 BOO
r,rnmeal quiet. S7rSSc p.r bag - pnSl 80 peg poi
Iorr-IIec-pts los bush ~ = 4'4c steamer yellow,
81. Oats quiet receipts. - 40 bush fancy. hq39-ac
Nos > ana g. 37a37i. .. Mife"d quiet bran. Tprlne'
SIC - winter -: Red DOG flour. 81 20 middirg-
SIC OASIS Butter steady; Northern. 22g22sc West
ern - initiation. 16NIIc. ladies - ec 'iees" steady
Northern. l28l24c. Western. III n l2%c.
buffalo March ~ Spring wheat dun hut firm No !
Northern. s2ec Winter wheat nothing doing. buyers
holding N No red sc asked corn easier NJ . vel
low Ga-.c. So yellow. 3ai4c; ~ yellow. 3Nic, y
corn 49, a3lc. 80 corn 3Sii b.. so corn. b &C.
oats dull. No . white. 8S4c No white BE. No I
white &c. 40 mxHi. Bic. NJ mixed. 31c barley
steady sales reported u Western track M - I've
dun. No rack. e. asked Flour duii
chicago March 81 Tho leading futures ranged fol-
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-03-31

OLD DOEllE0OM IDNEo
DAILY SERVICE.
,-- O,d toi,, Comfort Norfolk Newport News. Ports
r,onb Pnners Point and Richmond Va. connecting tor
Petersburg, Richmond virginia Beach washington
d c. and entire south and West ~. %
Freight and Passenger steamers san iro" JyssrsS
rams Fri 5 D. m. sat. D. sunday 3 p n
" l. GtIIIIAUDEU. Vice-Pres. and Traffic Sigr'
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-03-31

He pts Of breadsuGs NJ Interior p-his 3D. inou'liu'
last t.ree ciphcrs "'ol omitted h'u' I'S' E'"" '
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-03-31
THE MARKETS.
rsr1c RECEIPTS TO-DAY.

New York March 20, 1892
dressed poultry. pkgs. i,035
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-03-31

For Porto R5@0o
Tho steamers n tic Rcd 30" Line sailing FOR NeAs5
uet On the follow M laes. VIII call at Porto RICO 10
land mails and passengers. ne y NJ
. - nm mr. rtfr saf-rfa, April -. l 2. Nj
- 80 BOULTON BLISS & DALl.EI
General Managers 10 front -
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-03-31

EGlLGNn9AMESlGA LlEG.
Nau yorl,--Ro.terdam via Boulogne- sur-Mer -
New twin-screw steamers ROTTERDAM ana sIA4E -'-
DAM IS 3Op and 1880 tons resiectNeyl' 80 =, ..
,Tv,in-scrw :. :. ROTTERDAM APR. l. ~ a ~ va
Dotiogne Cabin. so W. I'd Cabl! So. ,,...4..-
AMSTERDAM Apr. :. 10 A. VI for iNotuei'aa.'
AunIy 20 Campany's ofice. 30 BroaaWhy, wv ~
Wadsworth semi-weekly dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1899-11-21
Mark Twain and the Scientist"

Mark Twain and the Scientist
The Christian Scientist was not able
TO cure my stomach ache and my cold,
but the horse doctor did 1t. This con-
vinces me that Christian science
claims too much. In my opinion 1t
ought to let diseases alone and confine
itself to surgery. There 1t would have
everything Its own way.
The horse doctor charged me thirty
.kreutzers' and | paid him; in fact. |
doubled it and gave him a shilling.
Mrs. Fuller brought me an itemized
bill for a crate Of broken bones mepded
in 234 places-$l a fracture.
Nothing exists but mlndf"
Nothing" snd answered. IAN
else is substanceless all else is i'm
aginary."
l gave her an imaginary check, and
now she Is suing me for substantial
do liars. II looks inconsistencies
mopolitan.
Wadsworth semi-weekly dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1899-11-21
Mrs. Estes Acquitted.

After being out but twenty minutes
last evening the jury In the case found
Mrs. Emily Estes not guilty.
A persistent point made in her be-
half was that It was not shown that
she eyer came into possession of the
stolen property and this is said to have
been seriously considered by the fury.
District Attorney Walsh represented
the case In good shape an6pmade a
first class argument.
Preliminary steps toward ar appeal
in the Maher a have been taken.
News.
Wadsworth semi-weekly dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1899-11-21
THRILLING EXPERIENCE
OF TWO RAILROAD MEN
E A

Engineer L. w. Young who pulls
the throttle for the local passenger
train between this city and Orovllle,
Butte County. had thrilling experience
this morning in his cab. Railroad
men consider it miraculous that Young
andshis fireman were not killed.
The passenger train. was running at
a good rate of speed, bound for this
city. when at a point about three miles
west Of the town Of Washington. one Of
the main side rods snapped in two.
The broken ends of the rods flew
around at a tremendous rate. literally
cutting the floor from beneath the en-
gfneer's side of the cab, sending the
splinters of broken timbers flying In
every direction.
As the flying pieces Of the broken
rod kept striking the earth in each
revolution there was danger that they
would derail the locomotive.
Engineer Young. as soon as he
could do so, applied the brakes to
stop the train. but before this was done
the great rod on the fireman's side of
the locomotive, owing to the great
tension which had beee put upon It,
also snapped in two. and the fireman
had the same experience as the en-
gineer his side Of the engine cab was
also badly broken.
AS soon as the train was stopped
word was sent to this city and a loco
motive was Immediately dispatched to
the scene of the accident to bring in
the delayed train. +.
Engineer Young and his fireman
were not injured. but they had a severe
shaking up. to say nothing Of the
terrific shock to their nerves. as they
were in great danger Of being crushed
to death BY the swifty-revolving
pieces Of ods.-Saeramento Bee.
!. .s ~ e.
Wadsworth semi-weekly dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1899-11-21
Not Paid.

Parties who have been letting their
S. F. paper accounts u for a num-
Der Of months are asked to kindly set
tie them up at once. The same is re-
quested Of those who are more than a
year in arrears subscription to the
DISPATCH. AS a rule we will adopt
when an effort is not made to pay such
bills in a reasonable time, we will en-
deavor to collect them.
WADswoRrH DISPATCH.
Wadsworth semi-weekly dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1899-11-21
Che Ccntiae Saerety go.
OF r MICHIGAN,


a thoroughly reliable corporation. doing,
business uncef the super vision of State
authority. offers ysu.a rare chance ior
investment. .V.. =, !.
we sell you diamonds and GOLD upon
small p~aynrents-5h the Neutrality-suspicious.
For "a weekly payments of 81 .25. each,
OF, $4,000 in all. we, ssli you one CON-
uiercially clear, white and perfect lila.
mond, weighing ~ CENTS. of II retail
value of $3.50. 90; or ut yonr Sption we
will pay you$l20.W in gold for the dfa.
mopd. ~
The Company will accept i. weeks
payment on-contract in advance. and no
more. We issue from l to 20 contracts
to any one person and no more. A tine
Of 81 90 IL imposed for failure to make
payment within the wspks when the
same is due. Two weeks default in any
Payment voids the contract and forfeit :
all payments thereohs,A lee of $500
per contract il exartr1a in eAs. oi trans
fer The Company witluira ~ Sl.OO
from each payment, after the fourth.
and places the same together with ali
fine. money and trsnsirr fee. in it's. Ere
demption iund,," ~liefewith to purchase
the diamonds ia fultillments of It's Gh
tracts.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO ia 10 make
your payments according. to contract.
b. receive $40 ior $50 invested or 81
per cent, prufit. 50 4 I&F.N
Wadsworth semi-weekly dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1899-11-21

II suffered with piles eleven years be-
fore using DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve ;
10Y my health il fully ressored,-I feel
like a M born man"-Conrad Siang-,
Pierz, MINI. "A soothing, healing pre-
paraiipn OF stknd ,rd meri:; beware hf
worthless co,p.crfrits. Sold by G. W.
Kinney Co.
Wadsworth semi-weekly dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1899-11-21
Closing Out

Gold pens. jeweIry and spectacles in
stock at our store will be closed out at
half price, We have a nice assert
ment SO call early:
NEVADA MEAT MARKET AND STORE.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-08-15

The late Seth L. Milliken of Maine was.
according to the New York Tribune, fond
of telling the following story: Al a time
when prohibition was particularly strict
in Maine a large party of ministers made
an excursion TO Cranberry Island, near
Bar Harbor. AS the members of the par
ty possessed considerable political influ-
ence. both Mr.. Millken and Senator Hale
accompanied them. In the course of the
trip one of the ministers came to Mr.
Mnhken, saying:
Il have been told that some member
of this party has yielded 20 the tempta-
ton of the serpent, and has a bottle Of
whisky with him. Do you know anything
of this?'
Mr.. Mnliken denied all knowledge of the
tniquity and referred the cleric 20 Seua-
tor Hale. The senator listened patiently
20 the clergymans tale, and then, look
ing up with "A twinkle in his eye quietly
asked.
you didn't happen 20 hear whether Il
was good or not did your
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-08-15
A GOOD TurtIe story.

A dispatch from susquehanna, Pa,
says: Thirteen years ago Miss Beatrice
Harridan and party of other Phnadel-
phia young ladies spent the summer at
Oquaga lake. one day, while bathing,
Miss Harridan placed her diamond en-
gagement ring on a log to prevent the
water from injuring the setting.
when the party had completed their
diversion the ring was missing. There was
CONSERVATION in the delegation, and Miss
Harridan refused to be cOnsOled. She Of
fered a large reward for the return of
the ring, but It was not found.
This weelS another party of Philadel-
phians and some young women from Ches-
ter visited Oquaga lake and went fishing
at the place where Miss Harridan lost the
ring. In crossing a meadow the party
found big swapping turtle and carried
it in triumph to the farm house where
they stopped. Arriving there 1t was pro-
posed that the turtle be served up in SOUP
In dissecting the creature Miss Harri-
dams lost engagement ring was found in
its stomach. Miss Harridan is now mar
ried. but it was forwarded by the proprie-
tor of the farm house to her present Ger
mantoWn address"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-08-15

There is a good story Of the presidential
excursion down TO the eastern shore of
Maryland says the Philadelphia Inquirer.
The party were fortunate enough to hear
an excellent sermon from the venerable
Protestant Episcopal Bishop of Maryland,
who was there to administer the rite of
confirmation. President Arthur and the
two secretaries sat In quiet satisfaction
But their peace of mind was suddenly dis
PEELED. The onertory was sung. At the
familiar words: let your light so shine
before men, ETC." the President and the
secretaries each quietly dropped hand in
to a pocket,
Lay not up for yourselves treasures on
earth"
Window drew forth a crisp one-dolar
note and held il between his thumb and
plate. The President and Mr.. Blaine went
a little deeper into their pockets. one
brought up a nickel and the other dime.
Their faces flushed 1t would never do
to make such a contribution.
He that soweth little shall reap little,
and he that soweth plenteously shall reap
plenteously. God loveth a cheerful
giver."
The President went to his pocketbook,
and the Secretary of State explored his
vest pocket with nervous fingers.
"Zaccheus stood forth and said unto the
LORD: BenOIQ, LORD, the nan OF my
goods l give TO the poor, and if 1 have
done wrong to any man l restore four
fold "
The plate was only four pews away
What the President found in mis- pocket
book was one ffty-dollar note and a ten
dollar notwithstanding smaller. What
Mr.. Blaine found was two ten-dollar notes
nothing smaller. To put in a nickel or
a dime only was not to be thought Of To
give so was more than either cared to do.
Each looked at Window sitting there calm
ly with his dollar note in hand He shook
his head.
Charge them that are rich in this world
that they be ready to give and glad to dis
tribute
There was no time for further pocket eX-
ploration or consideration, With a smile of
commiseration at each other, and some
thing like glee on WINDOWS placid counte-
nance, the President and the Secretary of
State each planked down his ten-dollar note
for the poor of this congregation" And
the worst of il is, said one of the party
afterward, that the Lord would probably
give them credit only for the dollar or two
which they intended to give.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-08-15
Cured Him.

There used to be the greatest hypocon-
driac in Detroit" remarked an old mer
chant of the city as he pointed out a re-
tired lumberman, according to the Detroit
Free Press.
why, he looks the picture of health"
$50 he is. Tough as a pine knot. Ought
to live TO be 100. But when we were younger
he was always grunting. He thought he
had everything from govt TO Salloping
consumption, and never expected TO live
the year out. He averaged a quart of med
icine day. to say nothing of external APP
plicauOns."
What cured him.
4 did He growled so much that it al
ways gave me the blue devils to meet him.
One day he was telling me the old story of
how his days were numbered and how he
had complications enough to XIII an ALI
gator in twenty-four hours. Jim said /,
YOU make me tired. You're just about as
pleasant company as a skull and cross
bones There's nothing on earth the mat
ter with you. Give me $1,000 a year while
you live and III insure you for $4,000 and
secure payment
Jumped at it, Insisted on paying 81
600 down so as to make it more binding.
From that minute he began to get strong
and take on flesh. He was worrying about
the money l was getting instead of about
himself, don't you see? ! caught him five
years running, and since that he lodges.
Never speaks and never sees me. Hates
me, I suppose. I'd refund, but he'd be sure
to have a relapse and the old merchant
not only chuckled, but winked.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-08-15
THE TAX RETURNS.

From the reports in the Atlanta news
papers of the great amount of building
going on in that city and of the remark
ably high prices paid for city lots, we
expected to see a very considerable in
crease in the amount Of Fulton county's
tax returns. But what is the fact? The
value of property returned for taxation
is considerably less than the value of
that returned last year How is this de-
crease explained? We are sure that there
are people in all parts of the state who
would like TO have an explanation of some
sort
As the returns now stand Fulton Is 49,,
657 391 behind last year. 1t is stated, how
ever, that the default list has not yet
been returned to the Comptroller General,
and that when it is, Fulton's returns will
be only S239, 900 behind last year But why
should they be behind those of last year?
The value of the county's real estate
hasn't declined so far as we have heard,
and none of IFS millionaires have shaken
its clay from their feet forever. A great
many new buildings, if newspaper re-
ports are to be credited, have been erected,
several factories have been started, and
the value of real estate has advanced. On
what theory therefore does the tax re-
ceiver of Fulton explain the falling off in
! the amount of tax return in that county?
Here in Chatham county we have not
been boasting of the increase in the value
| Of real estate nor have We devoted much
| time to shouting from the house tops the
number of new houses built 1t appears
| however, that the returns from Chatham
! county show very commendable increase
over those of last year The increase is
considerably more than the decrease in
| Fulton.
We suppose that the Fulton returns are
all right. but it would satisfy the curiosity
of great many people in different parts
of the state to have a brief statement OF
the cause of the falling off in that coun-
| tvs returns.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-08-15
BRIGHT BITS.

DO you think this poem of mine win
lve?" asked the high-browod youth. u
dunno, answered the brutal acquaintance.
IT ought to. Ii seems pretty tough
Washington Star.
-She-Why is it, 1 wonder, that little
men so often marry big women?
He-I don't know, unless it is that the
little fellows are afraid 10 back out Of the
engagements.-Tit-B
-Unanimity-Ger and France are
both in favor of diSarming," said Gazzam.
Are they?' asked Kilduff in surprise.
Germany is in favor of the disarming of
France and France is IN favor of disarm-
ing Germany. Life.
A SANITY Yearning-Reverend Good
man--Your little boy says he would like to
be a missionary TO the Fnipinos What put
that idea into his head?
Mrs. Highchurch-Why, tire dear little
fellow vents shotgun, and his papa
won't let him have it}-Puck.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-08-15
Not wanting a Job.

When the late W. E. Gladstone was
chancellor Of the exchequer, says London
Answers. one day he was in the shipping
department of the government office get
ting some Information and figures for the
coming budget While thus engaged a
Sunderland shipowuer called to see Mr..
Lindsey, the then member for Sunder-
land.
While waiting for Mr.. Lindsey to come
in the shipowner got his eye on Mr.. Glad
stone, and was watching him closely. Aft
er doing so a little while he thus address
ed him:
Thou seems a good writer and clever
at figures. III give thou f100 year, and
that's an offer thou'll not get every day"
Mr. Gladstone thanked him, and said
he would see Mr. Lindsey.
Just then Mr.. Lindsey entered. Then
MI Gladstone told Mr., Lindsey of the
offer his friend had made him.
Mr.. Lindsey said it was very good
offer. but ne did not know if Mr.. Glad
stone could be spared. Anyway he had
better introduce them. Turning to his
friend. the shipowner, he said:
Allow me to introduce you
to w. Z. Gladstone, chan
cellor of the exchequer-Mr. So-and-So,
Sunderland" The amazement of the ship
owner cannot be described.
The grand old man laughed immoder-
atpIV