The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-08-20
TAXED TOO MUCH.
That's What Willie
w. Astor Ran
Away From.
CONGRESS OF NATIONS.
One Is Held in Worcester
to Discuss His
Case.

l nSAS was COHSIeSS OF HdllOUS IN
this city yesterday. The delegates met
at round table after the fashion of
the knights of King Arthur. The con
vention hall was Joseph Sauers back
room, the subject of debate, the ex-
patriation of William Waldorf Aston
1t was not a regularly called conven-
ton. The delegates happened to stroll
IN and, by chance, sat together There
was a Swede, a German, an Irishman,
a Scotchman and an Englishman. A
llbation in stein, like a touch of ma
ture, makes the whole world kin, and
the mention of Astor's name set all
tongues to wagging.
Mr. Aston as is well Known, would
like to change the rich, red blood of the
people that courses through his veins,
for the blue and putrid blood of the de-
generate nobility of Britannia. AS a
means to an end, he spent five years in
England, and his time being up few
days ago, he went before the Judge Ut
ley of Bow street police court London,
with two witnesses, Lord De Lyn
Quint and Sir M. T. Pocket, who swore
positively that they had known William
Waldorf during the Intervening period
William was then ordered by the Judge
to hold up his right hand, and on com
pliance the clerk of the court said:
William Waldorf Aston being bound
by oath, do you solemnly swear to re-
nounce all allegiance to every foreign
power king, potentate, sultan. siwash
or president, particularly allegiance to
the United States and William McKin-
ley, president thereof, and that hence
forth, and from now on, you will be-
come faithful and loyal subject of
her majesty Queen Victoria (heaven
bless herr and cheerfully submit to the
taxation here, that you fled from Am
erica to escape, 50 help you God.''
William Waldorf went through this
ordeal like a Santiago veteran through
his baptism of fire at Ell Caney. al
though it was rather rough and
ready, democratic way to pave the road
for aristocratie recognition. Current
report has it that there were a number
OF continental Immigrants, some of
them wearing leather pants and wood
en- shoes, naturalized at the same time.
This must have panied William ex-
ceedingly, as it served to remind him
of the beginning of his pedigree, when
his ancestor. John Jacob Astor, toward
the close of the last century, with
leather trousers creased down the
sides, wooden shoes with the toes
turned up, and all his belongings in an
emiSrant trunk-a red bandanna hand
kerchief-landed at Castle Garden and
exclaimed in the best English he could
command, II dank me dot will look
for yob already"
Now the delegates at this congress of
nations could readily understand how
1t was highly laudable for a poor man
to leave his native country in search of
oetterment elsewhere, but with the ex-
ceptlon of the Englishman, all agreed
that Of
one, and that he was actuated BY the
instincts of the prig and theysn
1 wadna be sac vile" said the
Scotchman, who was referred to as
Donald. II dinna ken whad urged
him. Hoot mon, but it passes the un-
derstanding."
I dank he bughouse,'' said Sven the
oWede. leave Stockholm and for
swear King Horsecar and come to Am
erica TO get a yob in the Washburn-
Moons. The boss he give me chance
and I yump at it. 1 get six tollar ner
week and feel yolly like some tick
nngs But Wilhelm leave his country
because he stuck up like barber
pole" 'ei
While Sven was speaking, Hans. the
Dutchman, was chasing down a fork
tul OF sauerkraut with a large bite from
frankfort -
~ uSauh IKE you, SWen," said Hans
dank he loose init his intellects. He
youlu De duke and chum around init
oer prince who let him blow himself for
the privilege of his conversationings
HI don't know about that" said the
Englishma-& " IT'S a bloonin' fine
thing to be hallowed to slap the prince
on the back and say low are Won. old
fellow? Can the royal stomach bear
Manhattan this morning? Hi think
that waldorf is hall right He'll be-
come a Hanglo-Saxon and found a no
pie ouse. WHAT'S this blarsted country.
hannyow? tbs a wise man here who
knows he had a grandfather. while IN
mold Hingland we ave pedigrees as
long as your harm. Psychology teaches
US That the mind is habove matter.
what matter, then, hif Waldorf was
minded to change his nationality?"
Inc Englishman laughed at his little
joke and then between sips the Irish
man broke in: Psychology may tache
most anything. For instance. it taches
US that man six feet in height is taller
IMAM man who is only four feet. But
snychology taches us that a man of
six feet is often great deal shorter
than the man of four feet-in the pock-
et We hear ducks about Astor LAWN
Amerlcky, Gods country for England
for any good purpose. The back of me
hand to the thrawneen. IT'S the likes
Of him that sthole ould Oireland bad
cess to the Sassenach. Psychology in
dade. Sure at Clark university they'd
have one behave his ancestor was a bull
frog and his ancestress a nanny goat"
Terrence clearly had the crowd with
him, and Ehe Englishman, seeing that
he was in minority, took advantage of
a favorable opportunity to chase up to
Main street and catch a car for South
Worcester.
After some debate the following reso-.
lutions, offered by Hans were passed
without dissenting vote, though the
wording must have been all Dutch to
Donald and Terence
Vereas it having COON ter der at
tention of der blain, naturaIizationed
citizens of der Union sthades, dot VIII
helm Waldorf Aston has resignationed
his nationality and token up NIT der
citizenship Of England, und,
Vereas, he says he emigrationed from
dis coontry because he vos too much
taxationed; derefore, be it
Resolutioned, dot his broberty in Ann
erica be confiscationed und dot der
proceeds be appropriationed for der
building of a navy for der Union
sthades. a
Resolutioned, two times dot a. COLBY
of desc resolves be sended by mail ali
ready to PRESIDENT Mckinley, Queen
vigdoria unit Wilhelm Waldorf Astor,
unit der printz.
GREAT FAN COLLECTIONS.