The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-07-02
RULES OF THE ROAD.
A WheeIman's Humorous Suggestions TO
the Benefit of the Public.

! A practical bicycle rider has arranged
the following set of road rules, and sub
mits them with the hope that they will be
speedily adopted by all wheelmen, and
that the non-rotary public at large upon
the streets will observe them cheerfully:
| lone sharp stroke of the bell means
that business men, messenger boys and
| other persons in hurry must postpone
! indefinitely their contemplated journey
| across the street. Crossing the street In
| front of a Wheelman who has given the
above signal is very bad form, and Is gem
| orally productive of spinal meningltlS ana
Doctors bills.
+ 1.-TWO sharp strokes of the bell is sig
| nal to- the riders ahead that they must
|, @Gesundheiti" to the strokee as he passes.
l. Wheelmen who refuse to obey this signal
lishould be run into and injured severely.
I 3-Three sharp strokes of the bell is a
signal to the policeman on the corner,
who must Immediately come to parade
rest, doff his helmet and comment enthu-
siastieally on the grace and general ele-
gance of the strokee until the latter has
disappeared in the distance. Policemen
who fail to follow this rule should be ar
rested, tried, convicted and sent to Sibe-
ria.
4-Four sharp strokes of the bell is a
signal for the fire department to assemble
Immediately and remove all trees, statues
and things of that sort, SO that the
strokee may take short cut through any
of the parks. Failure on the part of the
firemen to obey this rule will justify the
rider in delaying an engine on it's way to a
fire by stopping in front of it long enough
to get run over.
5SFive sharp strokes of the bell is a
signal to all drivers of brewery wagons,
ice wagons and moving machines in the
vicinage that they must descend at once
from their various pedestals and lead
their juggernautian caravans into the dry
goods stores out of harms way. If there
are no dry goods stores handy, candy
shop will do. No driver of a brewery
will be excused for breaking this rule
simply because he doesn't know the
meaning of vicinage.
Six sharp strokes Of the bell is a
signal to conductors and motormen that
they must, without any unnecessary de-
lay, lift their cars from the rails and
place them on-the sidewalk If the pas
sengers in the cars so signaled offer any
objections, the policemen on that beat
will take the offender to the nearest BIZ
cycle. store and compel them to buy
wheels.
lone long and one shsrt stroke of
the bell means that everybody in the
neighborhood not a-wheel must start
promptly for the woods Failure to OBJ
serve this rule will Justify any rider in
chasing the offender rs consecutive miles
in southwestery direction.
S-Long and continued applause from
the bell on any. wheel means that the
rider has lost the combination on his
brain cells, and is suffering severely from
stage fright, superinduced by the sudden
appearance of coal cart directly in his
pathway. In predicament of this kind
strict guiding rules can not be laid down
but no blame can be attached to the
wheelman If he climbs over the tailboard
of the vehicle and adds a new series Of
chronological bumps to the suburban
part of the head of the offending coal
| cart director
elf the foregoing rules are carefully
observed, there is no occasion for fur
Their instructions, and bicycling will be-
come thing OF pleasure and joy for
ever.