Mesa free press., 1899-04-07
F[k{IIl|HI1g|akEq SD !1aE|
GS=
~~N~ooo~

~~oo~~o~~~~~~
/ He Oh, yes; when was in London
I was enthusiastically received in
court circles. She-'What was the
charge against you?
My Husband suffers terribly from
the cold" "Do you really think he
feels it more than other people, or does
he only make more fuss about itY
Ikey-Give me penny, fadder, and
I buy me an orange off dat man out
side. Heimstadter--Go and make faces
at him, Key; maybe he win throw one
at you.
He-Have you read Kipling's Depart
mental Ditties? She You don't mean
to tell me that he has taken up the de-
partment stores? What won't he try
next p Cincinnati Enquirer.
II suffered nearly all night from In
somnia," said the drummer. 'Td bet
you two dollars,'' roared the country
landlord, s'that they ain't one Of 'em in
my house."-Indianapolis Journal.
.Were you out in al that rain?" asked
the Clifton girl. t"No" said the young
woman from Boston, 'I was merely in
the portion of the rain that descended
In my Immediate vicinity" Cincinnati
Enquirer. s
e Mr.. J.--What would you suggest, doc
tor, for insomnia? DR.. Pillsbury-I
would suggest that you attempt to sit
up witha sick man and give him his
medicine every hour for few nights
Leslie's Weekly.
Actress Marie {excitedly) = They
found man under the bed in room six
teen last night. Actress Ethel--And
only think, Marie! we could have had
that room and got our names in the
Hnewspapers.-Judge.
'"Do you mean to assert that you new
er saw an honest. horse race?" inquired
the sportsman. '.Well," answered Mr..
Corntossel, 81 reckon the boss was hon
est enough; but 1 alters will have my
s'piciOns about the Jockeys
He had just finished fairly good
dinner which the housewife had set be-,
fore him, and rose to go. 'But," she
protested, "you said you'd saw wood"
"Not at all, madam" he replied; II said
I saw wood."-Chicago Post.
On board ship a wife was trying to
comfort her seasick husband, and
change. the. current of his thoughts:
Darling, has the moon come up yet?"
she asked. at has. if I swallowed it,"
was the weak-vOiced reply.-Western
Medical Review.
8 Foreign Visitor (proudly)-In my
country we have one law for prince
and pauper American Host-Same
way here. 1t doesn't matter whether
a man is beggar or a millionaire, he's
got to obey the law, unless he's got a
pull.-New York Weekly. 49,,
Fond Parent-What is the matter,
Bobby? You don't generally keep on
crying after your father has given you
"a beating. Bobby know it. But. he
says I've got to sit down and think It
over. Before, I've always stood up
and forgotten it.-Life.
Mr.. Muchblest-Y doctor, / have
frightful cold; but whatedid you say
was your special method of treatment?
Physician-We strike att the cause or
origin of the trouble. r.Muchblest-
That's odd. Anyhow, you'll find the
baby in the other room. IL Brooklyn Life.
He had come upon her doing in her
hammock, and when she woke up she
accused him of stealing a kiss. "Wel1,.'
| will admit that the temptation was.
too strong to be resisted. I did steal.
one little kiss" "Onew she exclaimed,
Indignantly; II counted eight before !
woke Chicago Post.
Butler, recently engaged by a newly
'fedged millionaire: "At what hour
would you wish to dine, sir?''ssM Mill
ionaire-At what-hour do the best peo-
pie dine? Servant depressing smile).
oh, they dine at different times sir!
Millionaire-Good! Then I also will
dine at different times!
Miss Easte End-They tell me you
naughty Chicago men always take ad-i
vantage of the tunnel when you ride
through it. Mr.. Bluster-Yes, 1 gener-
ally do. Miss Easte End -And do sou
really kiss girls you don't know? Mr..
Bluster-Kiss girls?~ I don't kiss any
girl. l pass plugged quarters on the.
conductor. s.s5
''This," said the police judge, the
other morning, is one of the most ag-
kgravated cases of assault and battery
every brought to nay official notice.
How could a big ablebodied man like
you strike a deaf mute?" ,'Do you's
m'ane that he could n'ather sp'ake nor
Ih'are?' That's precisely what I
mean" "Thin,. sor, ply the divil didn't
he say sof-Detroit Free Press.
Rey. Dr.. Howley-My dear sir, am a
minister of the Gospel, and, as l intend
preaching asermon against the stage,
I thought would ask you for ticket
of admission to your show, in order
that might see for myself the extent.
Of this great immortality. Manager Ito
ticket-seller)- Charlie, give the doctor
seat in the orchestra, and charge it to
advertising Harlem Life.