davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25
Tortoise Shell.

The finest tortoise shell comes from the
Indian archipelago and is shipped from
Singapore, and much of il is obtained on
the Florida coast of America. There are
three rows of plates on the back, called
blades by the fishermen. In the cen
trail row are five plates and in each of the
others four plates, the latter containing
the best material. Besides these, there are
IS small plates round the edges of the
shell, known as feet or moses
The biggest turtle does not furnish more
than I6 pounds OF tortoise shell. Formerly
the undershell was thrown away, being
considered worthless but at present it is
very highly valued for its delicacy of col
oring. Nowadays n very beautiful imita-
ton of tortoise shell is made of cows
horns
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25
A Hard Headed Prisoner.

In the trial of n negro in a Decatur
county court for horse stealing the judge
asked the prisoner:
Have you any Defense
ANY er de fcnse, sub? No, sub. 1
didn't take de fence. DE fence wuzn e
what wuz after"
Il mean" explained the judge, "have
you any one to represent you:''
"No, sub. / did vote fer Marsc Viii
liam fer representative, but he made such
po' showin in de legislator dat dey
tn ned him down wen he axed ter go
back. -
You seem to be n hard headed fellow
remarked the judge.
Eyes, sub, Mister Judge. You right
erbout dat IF / hadn't err been so ha d
headed, wouldn' Z a stole dat boss. At
lanta Constitution.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25
SONG OF THE TRAIN GANG.

The brakeman sat in the dim cabOose,
Nor smiled 1t careless joke;
His heart was breaking because, alas,
The brakeman had gone dead broke!
But the switchman said: "Cheer up, old friend
In life there's many hitch,
And I've been so blue in my life now
/ didn't know which was switch"
Up spalIe the fireman, a cheerful man:
''Of this life often tire.
] never know when my job is safe;
I'm constantly near the fire."
And then the conductor had his say
AS he finished up his lunch,
IF had my way, it's passengers,
And not the tickets, I'd punch"
And the engine shrieked and howled along
And came its complaint: "Oh, deari
You folks may talk, but it's mine to list
With my catlike engine-earl"
And the train sped on with n noisy din.
Nor failed its fate to bewail.
"Ay lot Is the hardest" ii cried aloud,
ITO ride all day rail!''
Philadelphia North American.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25

There was a good deal of punching of
heads incident to amateur acting at Kim
berley in those days. There was a well
known dentist who sometimes trod the
boards, and his enemy, probably n rival
amateur, would sit in the front row of the
stalls and laugh during all the pathetic
scenes. At last the dentist could stand it
no longer. He leaped over the heads of
the orchestra, hit the Laughter a violent
blow, saying, THAT will teach you to
laugh in the wrong place" and then
much relieved, climbed back on to the
stage and proceeded with his part
Amateur Clubs and Actors" by Elliot
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25
THE TRAIN BELL CORD.
Al Old Engineer Tells the story of
Its Invention.

In old cars the bell cord ran over the top
and was wound on a reel, says Mr.. George
in Forty Years on the Rail and the
brakeman had TO climb up to the top of
the cars. no matter how fast the train was
running. to use the cord or adjust it in
case Of mishap- An old engineer of the
Erie road tells how the bell cord was in
vented:
Sometimes the conductor wished to stop
1 train between stations, but as there was
no means of letting the engineer know his
wishes except by sending word by a brake
man, who had to climb and scramble over
dozen freight cars before he could attract
the engineers attention, there was often
a vexatious delay
''Pappy Ayres, the pioneer Erie con-
ductor, hit upon an expedient for signal
ing TO the engineer. He tied n stick of
wood to a long rope, hung the stick in the
engine cab and carried the rope over the
car tops to the rear of the train. His plan
was 20 pull the rope and rattle the stick
when he wished the train stopped.
The engineer of Conductor Ayres' train
was CONSERVATIVES lky, the conductor
called him-and did not see fit to recog-
nize such an innovation.
why didn't you stop the train when 1
pulled that rOpe?" Numbered the conduct
or after a fragrant refusal to notice the
stick of wood signal
- Cause no one told me to stop it, &" was
the engineers surly answer
''Well, / tell you TO stop it hereafter
when pull on that stick of wood" said
the conductor. IF you DON'T He
turned away muttering some sort of threat
The very next run the conductors Wig
Orous pull on the rope was UNDECIDED by
the engineer. At the close of the day
Conductor Ayres met the engineer with
the words:
See hercl I've stood all the nonsense
I'm going tot just come out here and
I'll give you a good lickingI'
There was fire in his eye, and the en-
gineer, noting it, turned mild at once.
All right" he answered aniably.
Il IN willing to wrastle with We, an if We
can throw me I'll notice any signal, if
faint more'n bumblebee's buZzin, per
yided We can harness him SOS to buzz when
ye want the train stopped"
A wrestling match followed, in which
- Pappy" laid the engineer low. The rope
and stick worked to n charm after that
and soon led to the introduction of the
now universal bell and cord system of sig
mailing
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25
The Eject of RoyaIry.

Let us see some of the effects of caste
some of the curious effects that 1 have
noted On jubilee day stood so near the
procession that 1 could have touched the
door of her majesty's carriage with my
walking stick.
When she had ridden by, the lady next
to me said:
"Oh, deari Now she's gone and didn t
see hertz
Didn't see herr" repeated in astonish-
ment
Il couldn' 4" she replied II was so
excited 1 could not look at her. This is
the third time I've tried, but something
always comes up and blinds me-"
Once was walking in Hyde park with
a little English lady, who suddenly cried
out:
"Oh, there's the princess (meaning
the Princess of Wales land Princess Vic
torial Do hurry and let US get near the
road TO see themr'
well, there, they have gone" said she
after the royal carriage had passed, land
/ shall be in flutter for half an hour.
suppose you'll never understand il, but
go perfectly silly whenever 1 see royalty"
Julian Ralph in Harper's Magazine
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25
Insect TOpers.

Dr. Weir, in discussing the tendency of
some insects to get drunk, says: IAN in
toxicated bee was carried to my laboratory
for dissection and microscopic investiga-
ton. This insect was so drunk that when
placed upon its back it had the greatest
difficulty in getting upon its legs, yet
when a cosmos blossom was brought within
two inches of its head the bee thrust out
its proboscis and staggered toward it. 1t
Immediately began to suck the nectar,
and in n few moments tumbled over, a
drunken, senseless, almost inert little
mass-a victim of appetite"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25
The Liar the Thief.

Lying is of all mean traits of character
the most despicable. This is the crying
sin of the age-that men do not value their
word. If a man steals and is caught, the
world brands him thief and shuns him;
he can never outlive it; but if he lies,
though it may be proved, he is still re-
spectacle, and if he profit by the lie he is
esteemed especially clever and smart.
But the thief is not near so dangerous
to society as the liar. We can protect our
selves against thieves, we can guard our
possessions, but the liar can penetrate the
strongest fortress and blast the most pre-
cious of our possessions. He can go into
court and rob or murder at will. He can
blast life or ruin fortune and there is
no redress. -Spartanburg Herald
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25
waIfzing Ostriches.

The behavior of wild ostriches on the
plains of South America and South Africa
is said to be often exceedingly droll. They
have been seen to perform an antic that
looks like waltzing. A number of them
will start off on a run, and, having gone
a considerable distance, they stop sudden
~, spread their wings and whirl round
and round until they fall down. They
also kneel to each other when about to
fight, opening their wings and sway1ng
their bodies about in an excited way.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25
No Accent.

Many stories are told of former Cana
dian bishop who had passed his youth in
Scotland, but flattered himself that not a
hint of his origin could be gained from
his speech or manner
One day he met a Scotchman to whom
he said at last abruptly. Hoo lang hae ye
been here?'
"Aboot sax years." was the reply.
"Hoot, mony' said the bishop sharply.
"Why haze We ma lost yer accent, like my
sel'?"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25
What tn Teach.

The editor of the Bar Harbor Record
says: 1.-TWO authorities-one a man who
has made educational matters lifelong
study, the other an able writer and a train
ed observer-arriye at the same conclu-
sion, and this is the sum of their observa-
tions There is a golden mean in educa-
ton as in everything else Teach your
children what it is essential they should
learn in order to fill their proper places in
life, and teach it thoroughly. Don't cram
their heads with studies that they will
never need after they leave the school
rOon -
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25
A Double Loss

You seem to have discharged your new
typewriter.
Yes; she queered me badly
How did it happen?'
II dictated letter TO our richest female
client and told her to address it How
will address it?' she asked answered.
Plain Miss Brown And, by George,
that's just the way she wrote iti''
How
." Plain Miss Brown We lost a client,
and she lost a job. "-Clcyeland Plain
Dealer
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25
Remarkable Mail service.

According to a Partisan journal the
following peculiar official document is to
be seen outside a certain postoffice in
France:
Notice.
Hours of Collection.
First Collection In Summer,
Morning at five o'clock.
In Winter The night before.
At nine o'clock.
This notification is in the flowing hand
Of the postmaster, and has been visible for
the past ten years-Household Words.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25

Mr.. Nicefellow Ito adored ones little
brother)-There! You did that errand
very nicely. Here's penny for you
Little Brother-Oh, NAL Mr.. Nicefel-
low gave me penny
Maxwell, my dear, you should say
Little Brother-Yes; l know 1 should
say, THANK your but 1 was SO s'prised
forgot You said he hadn't a cent to
call his own.-Stray Stories
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25
The Harp In Wales.

The harp has almost died out of Wales
but less than 90 years ago all the princi-
pal hotels kept a proficient harpest, whose
duty it was TO play for the amusement of
visitors. The innkeeper who failed to
provide this form of entertainment for his
guests could not hope to compete with his
fellows
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25
wnfered Milk.

Here is a good test for watered milk
which is simplicity in itself: A well pol
ished knitting needle is dipped into a deep
vessel of milk and Immediately withdrawn
in an upright position. If the milk is
pure, some Of the fluid will hang to the
needle, but If water has been added 20 the
milk, even in a small proportion, the fluid
will not adhere
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25
The Largest Cannon.

The largest cannon in the world was
taken by the English when India was
conquered The cannon was cast about
the year 1900 and was the work of a chief
named Chuleby KoOmy Khan of Ahmed
nuggur. The inside of the big gun is fit
ted up with seats and is a favorite place for
English officers to go for a quiet MONDAY
sleep
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25
At the Breakfast Table.

"What made you start and look so
frightened!" asked Mrs. Small of the star
boarder
Gee whizl could almost swear that /
saw that sausage on the dish move when
that boy in the street whistled. Harlem
Life
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25
p.,,,. Of 4. Painter. Trade.

In Judge Halls police court the other
day a unique defense was offered by a
painter who had been brought to the STA
ton in a helpless state of intoxication.
II wasn't drunk, your honor, he per
sisted II was just dizzy, that's all I'd
been paintin n barber pole. Chicago
Record
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25

IL is strange to notice how many old
classical expressions still survive in Tus-
cany The people still swear by Bac-
chus,i' and ssBy Dianai' just as we do
~By Joyei" but when they talk of Tom,
Dick and Harry" they say Titus, Caius
and SeInpronius-"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25

True happiness is found in pursuing
something, not in catching it.-'Words Of
Wisdom {"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25

rence was pronounced, and at min
utes past 10 the law was vindicated.-
Figaro.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-03-25

Their Notions of Humor as Displayed
In Directions on EnvelOpes-SOme
of the Puzzles with which the De-
partment Has to Wrestle.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-04-23
In Boulder.

Boulder. April 22.-The big event of
the week in a social way was the min
strel performance given Friday even
ing by local talent for the benefit of
the Boulder Baseball club, and it was
demonstrated that Boulder possesses
some talent in that line. Arrangements
We're largely in the hands of Al Riedel
who has had stage experience and in
stage settings and in the general char
acter of the performance it was mer-
itorious affair and pleased the very
large audience present. The opening
of the entertainment was more in the
line of genine Old-time minStrelsy than
is shown by many of the travelling COM
panies of present date, and from the
time of "Gentemen, be seated" to the
close of the performance there was
plenty of fun and some good music.
BeckWith and Riedel as bones and Thi-
bodeau and Styles as tambOs We're all
right up-to-date. the jokes We're not
"chestnuts" and the local hits were
greeted with applause, except by those
who were hit. The solo and quartette
singing was good, and Miss Wilma
Trotter and Master Johnny Reynolds
performed very cleverly and to the
great delight of the audience. The aft
erpiece. entitled The Actors Boarding
House." was we'll presented and very
funny. After the entertainment there
was a largely attended ball.
The pleasant weather and good roads
have brought out the bicyclists in large
numbers, and it is likely that Boulder
has more devOtees of the sport than any
other town of its size in the state. and
with very much better roads than most
mountain towns.
Thursday evening a we'll attended So
cial was given by the Ready Workers
at the Presbyterian parsonage and the
occasion was enliNpned with good music
by the Guitar and Mandolin club
on account of poor health. Miss Daisy
Doyle has been obliged to give up her
position as teacher for the blind at the
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-04-23

institution here and has gone to her
home at Radersburg. Her place in the
school is taken by Adams Morris of
Helena. who is somewhat known here
from having lived in Boulder as boy
and who lost his sight while d resident
of this place
Mrs. Maud Davis Baker of Helena is
spending a few days in Boulder with
her Photographic outfit. and is stopping
with Mrs. W. D. Field.
The new school board has been or
ganzed with l.. @. Shelton as chair
man and S. G. Wild as clerk
George F. Paul and family of Butte
are at the Springs. Mr.. Paul being en-
gagged in overhauing the plumbing and
water system of the hotel. He is assist
ed by F. McG1ath. also of Butte.
DR.. and Mrs. Hunter who have been
living in Butte and who previously had
the hotel at Alhambra Springs, are now
at Boulder springs to remain for some
time, ne having charge of the Keeley
practice of the state.
Among those who took an exam!na-
ton for teachers before the county SUI
perintendent this week was Hiss
Knight of Clancy.
c. c. Wylie and family of Helena
have been spending a few days at the
springs.
The family of Josiah Wiley of Elk
horn Will start Tuesday by the North
ern Pacific for their old home in Eng
land to spend the summer there. They
Will be accompanied by Miss Tyack,
also of Elkhorn, who goes to England
for her health.
Mrs. Gillian and Mrs. Haford went
to Basin Monday to be initiated in the
lodge of Rebekahs there.
Miss frankie Johns, formerly of Elk
horn, visited here a day on her way
to Marysville, after spending several
months in the East.
Announcements have been received
here of the birth of son to Mr. and
Mrs. w. E. Gaffney at Buffalo. N. Y.
on April 4th, he being christened Will
liam Bernard Gaffney, jr.
Mrs. Pickett of Twin Bridges has
been visiting here with her parents,
Mr.. and Mrs. Reynolds
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-04-23
In Basin.

Mr.. and Mrs. II. l.. Charles and Mr..
and Mrs. Ross Cartee entertained
number of their friends very pleasantly
at the A. o. L. w. hall Saturday even
ing. A pleasant feature was the art
gallery, to which the guests furnished
many amusing drawings. Delicious re-
freShmentS We're served, and all greatly
enjoyed the event. Those present were:
Mr. and Mrs. c. NJ. Allen, Mr.. and Mrs.
L. D. Kent Mr.. and Mrs. James Glass,
Mr. and Mrs. James B. Felts, Mr.. and
Mrs. T. A. Brown. Mr.. and Mrs. Peter
Brewin, Mr.. and Mrs. Samuel South
worth, Mr. and Mrs. George Heimbach,
Mr. and Mrs. l.. f. Osborne. Mr.. and
Mrs. w. w. Wickes, Mr.. and Mrs. j.
w. Haggerty, Mesdames August Helm
bach, D. A. McGregor, F. J. Taylor,
f. A. Glass. Misses Anna Dee, Ger
trude Southworth, Mary Harshman,
Messrs. j. P. Beaupre. Alex j. Glass.
H. T. Hoadley, Fred J. Taylor. Louis
Sponheim. j. b. Emerson. Henry Meis-
ner, Charles SouthWorth. Frank
Middleswath. August Heimbach, Tim
DowEey, George r. Romano. James J.
Langan. w. o. Day, Eugene Ring, Ar
thur Rand and Mr. Houghton.
Miss Fay Kent was given a pleasant
children's party by her parents Thurs
day afternoon that being the occa-
sion of the 9TH birthday OF the little
miss. The little folks present We're:
IIorine Cartee. Orc Glass. Edith Hag-
gerty, Helen Hewett, Winnie Dunbar,
Eugene Charles. Ross Cartee, Fayette
Cartee, Charles Farnham, Dales Dun
bar and Dudley Allen.
Mr.. and Mrs. William Vaughn, Mr..
and Mrs. J. Fl. Baskier, Mr.. and Mrs,
b. A. Bliven. Mrs and Mrs. F.. NJ.
Tefft Mr.. and Mrs J. r. Williams,
Mr. and Mrs Hamilton pipOiOn Mrs
Fred Hutchinson and MeSSrs. James
]. Langan. j. p. Beaupre, d. A. Right
enour and Louis Sponheim We're in
Boulder last Monday evening to at
tend a social meeting of the A. o. L.
w. and Degree of Honor lodges of that
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-04-23

during the week and went on to Idaho
to look after his grading contract there.
w. H. Merriman of Butte, the gen
eral agent of the Northern Pacific at
that place, spent Saturday in Billings.
His wife and daughters, who had been
visiting friends in town for few days,
returned to Butte with him on Sunday
j. T. Sanford of Laurel spent Wednes-
day in town.
Paul Mccormick and David Frat are
attending the stockgrowers' convention
in Miles City.
W. b. Sleeper of Butte has spent sew
eral days in Billings this week visiting
his brother and other relatives.
Walter Anderson. the Red Lodge ed
1tor, with his wife, spent Sunday and
Monday in town.
c. G. Hoyt came over from the Crow
agency Monday. Mr.. Hoyt is chairman
of the Crow Indian commission.
Mrs. Fl. Bryan has gone to spend
several months visiting relatives in Su-
perior, Neb
J. D. Frat spent Friday and Saturday
of last week in Helena attending the
meeting of the state board of stock
commissioners.
Mr.. Jacobs, who has spent the winter
in California, returned on Wednesday
evening. and after day or two in town
left for his sheep ranch.
The ladies of the Episcopal church
will hold fair and supper on Wednes-
day evening, April 25
On Saturday evening, April %, the
members of the Congregational church
will give ''The District School, at the
opera house.
The Woodmen of the World gave a
very pleasant dance on Thursday even
ing.
DR.. Townsend has returned from
Philadelphia, where he was called by
the illness of his son.
Jepp Ryan was in town during the
week on his way from Leavenworth,
KAN to attend the stockmen's conven-
tion in Miles City.
Mr.. and Mrs. l.. H. Parker, who have
spent the winter in Omaha, returned to
Billings early in the week They in
tend to remain here for the summer.
The Epworth league will give free
entertainment at the M. E. church Sat-
urday evening.
I. H. and Hosea Connick of Butte
have purchased ranch in the valley
and have removed there during the
week.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-04-23

place, and all report a most pleasant
visit. After a short business session
of the Boulder lodge of workmen. the
ladies We're called in to participate in
the pleasures of the OcCa sion, and from
that time on until late hour nothing
marred the occasion, and pleasure
reigned supreme.
Mrs. DR.. d. f. Rainville has just
received the sad news of the death of
a brother al Quebec.
The local lodge of the |. o. O. F., as
sisted by the members Of the Rebekah
degree, will have A grand celebration
of the S0th anniversary of Odd Fellow
ship here next Wednesday, April 26 In
the afternoon there will be a grand
parade. headed by the Biner cornet
band, followed by an address al the pa
viion by j. NJ Hinkle of Butte. AT
night they will complete the festivities
with a grand ball and banquet.
Mrs. Al Boulware of Butte has been
visiting with her Basin friends this
week
Mrs Dan NJ. Halford and Mrs. Rolla
Gillian came up from Boulder last
Monday evening to attend a meeting
of the Daughters of Rebekah and be
initiated into the mysteries of that or
der.
Mrs. CIa film. who has been suffering
with a painful attack of rheumatism.
is spending a few days at the Boulder
hot springs in the hope of obtaining
relief.
Joseph B. Brien spent a portion of
last week on business a Henena.
r. S Hogan, secretary of state was
in town from Helena last week look
ing at some mining properties in the
Basin district.
Frank B. Axtell Of Butte was in Ba-
sin Monday night and Tuesday morn
ing.
Mr.. and Mrs. W. w. Wickes were
in Boulder last Sunday. at which place
their baby was baptized in the Pres
byterian church. Rev. r. A. Wickes
officating
August Freeberg returned last week
from a winters visit in Minnesota and
has now gone to Sheridan to engage
in mining during the summer.