Evening journal., 1899-12-04
A MUTILArso POET
Cut Up Almost as Badly as His AL
legged Bit OF Genuine Verse.

Cut Up Almost as Badly as His Al-
legged Bit OF Genuine Verse.
When a Western editor was sitting
in his Office one day, n man whose
brow was clothed with thunder en-.
tered. Fiercely seizing chair, he
slammed his hat on the table, hurled
his umbrella on the hoor and sat
down.
"Arc you the editory he asked.
ayes"
"Can you read writing?'
cor course"
"Rcad that then" he said, thtusung
at the Colonel an envelope, with an in
scription upon it,
b" said the Colonel, trying to
spell IT,
That's not B. It's an s." said the
man.
IS; oh yes; | see! Well, it looks like
Salt for dinner or Souls of sinners,
said the colonel.
! no, sir" replied The man; nothing
Of the kindl That's my name-Samuel
II. Brunner. l knew YOU couldn't read.
| called TO see about that poem of mine
you printed the oth6r day, ON the Sur
cease OF Sorrow "
Il don't remember it, said the
Colonel
"Of course you don't, because II went
into the paper under the infamous
title of 'Smearcase Tomorrow
I "a blunder OF the compOsitOrs,
suppose"
"Yes. sir, and that's what | want to
see you about The way IN which that
poem was mutilated was simply Scan
dalous l haven't slept night since. It
exposed me TO derision. People think
that l am an ass. let me show YOU.
The first line when / wrote Il read In
this way:
Lying by a weeping willow, under
meath a gentle slope
That Is beautiful, poetic. affecting
Now, how lid your vile sheet present
1t to the public?
Lying to a weeping widow TO induce
her TO elope.
Weeping widow. mind you A widow
lOh, thunder aud lightning; This is too
much
"But look a-here ST the fourth verse.
That's worse yet:
Cast thy pearls before the swine and
lose them in the dirt
He sets IL mp I'm this fashion:
Cart thy pills before the sunrise and
love them IL they hurt
Now. isn't that n cold-bloOded outrage
on n mans feelings? I'll leave it TO
YOU IL IL isn't"
IT'S hard, that's fact" said the
Colonel
"And then take the fifth verse. In the
original manuscript II said, plain as
daylight:
Take away the lingling money; IL Is
only gllttering drOss.
In its printed form YOU made me say;
Fake away the tinglIng honey; put
some flies in for the boss
BY George. / felt like Draining You
with 4 fire shovel. I was never so cut
up in my life There. for instance. was
the sixth verse. | wrote.
am weary of the tossing OF the ocean
as It heaves.
{ II is n lovely line too. But imagine my
horror and the anguish Of my family
when I opened your paper and saw the
line transformed into:
| am wearing out my trousers till
they're open at the knees
That is little too much. That seems
10 me like carrying the thing an inch ol
two too far. l think 1 have a const
; tutional right TO murder that compost
or: don't your
81 think you have"
LET me read You one more verse.
wrote
! swell the dying echoes as they roam
among the hills.
And I feel my soul awakening 10 IN,
ecstasy that thrills
Now, what do you s'pose your misera
bic outcast turned that into? Why. In
10 this:
smell the frying shoes as they coas
along the bulls
And ] peel my soul mistaken in m,
erctary that whirls.
! must slay that man. Where is heT'
Colonel. "Come in tomorrow"
81 WILL" said the poet: "and I viii
come armed." Exchange.