davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1899-08-05
| OUR BUJ DGET OF FUN d
SOME ON GOOD JOKES, ORIGINAL
AND SELECTED. Z&

= Variety Of Jokes, Gibes ana Ironies,
.Es5 Original and Selected Flots.m and
Jetsam from the Tide Of Humor-:
s Witty Sayings. v 5555 u
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1899-08-05

Miserly traits seldom run to the keep.
ing Of promises. ID
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1899-08-05

where he Learned How.
2 Yeast-That man Gallup is a fine
Judge Of horseflesh. rs ..
Crimsonbeak Been to Paris, has hel
Workers Statesman.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1899-08-05
4 t.ili Z, : X = : : u y
COnsis tent.

Bill the Gamblers always up to
date. ''. How so 2? ~ His wedding
cards are all Queens Of Hearts. hill
adelphia North American.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1899-08-05
Equal to the Occssion.

The poet now finds that this season Of
woe IF {. q .#A= ..35s3
Il Is such a terrible thing; s1=z.5 z
He changes 8 his poem Beautiful
#. Snow, 4 :2s.3 i 81. E@ .3-
& To one on ."tThe Coming Of Spring."
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1899-08-05

8 Halls Catarrh Cure
Is taken internally. Price, 75c
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1899-08-05
Tint Dull. Awful Pnin!

It's sick headache. Cure it? Avoid it?
Cascarets Candy Cathartic give quick relief
and prevent headaches if taken in time. ALI
druggists, 1Oc, Csc, soc.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1899-08-05

A Postponement.
~ Bookkeeper-Can you let me off
this afternoon, Mr.. Sellem? My
grandmother is dying. - e..
Employer-She will have to wait a
day or two, Mr.. Ledgers. I am going
to the ball game myself this after.
noon. -.
..1" He Knew All About 1t. = -..,
Brer Johnsing -What's dis yere
Decoration Day? -.'
Brer Jackson-Huh, yo' fool niggah,
don't yo'' know dat? OATS de day
when we celebrates de Decoration OF
Independence. 49,:
r: The Reason why.
'That's: what I call fin-de-siecle,"
said Spendleigh, as he laid down SIS
bill
- Flows that?" asked Twendleigh.
cts the last of century," was thu
reply. & "..:.:~~ I.
Money to Burn. :: ~
Clerk in summer hotel-How long
do you intend to: stay, sir?
Guest-Three weeks. ~. 5s<,~, =
Clerk-Front! Show this million.
aire up to room All. ,~ 49,
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1899-08-05
Lila MnaH nf IIa

Like Most of Us.
Watts-What would you do if you
had your life to live over? ~ -
Potts.. wouldn't do it, that all
Indianapolis Journal. " r.. u
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1899-08-05
5Confessionif 81 a .Itriionnire.

Confession0 OF millionaire. s
a millionaire confessed the secret q
his success IS 2ttwo word hard work.
He put in the best part OF his life gain IN
ing dollars and losing health, and now
hefWas putting In the other half spend
ing dollars to get it back. Nothing
equals Hostetter's Stomach Bitters for
restoring health. 1t cures dyspepsia
and indigestion.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1899-08-05
"DurabiHHty IS
Better Than Shoqu. .

The weaHh of the nuHi-n1ahonades IS
not equal to good health. Riches qvahout
health are curse, and yet the rich. the
middle classes and the poor ALIKE haze. in
Hoods Sarsaparala, a paluable assistant
in getting and maintaining perfect health.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1899-08-05
How he Nfanares Her.

now ne Manages Her.
How is It that your wife is so tract
able q sls 81.
why, told her when we were mar
ried that she could do just exactly as
she pleased, and, Of course, she finds no
pleasure in doing il. - Chicago Post. 81
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1899-08-05

I p Q No. 90 1900
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1899-08-05
this pho

as shown
take. :"
lander.
RubicOn,''
-Philadel-
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-11-25
ESNPEROR'S VISIT TO ENGLAND

The most Interesting man in Europe
reached England to-day to visit the
most powerful woman in the world. his
grandmother, Queen Victoria. Europe
is deeply concerned with the meaning
OF that visit; almost more deeply than
with the outcome Of the attempt OF
General Butler to relieve the garrisons
at Ladysmith and Kimberley. The sue
cess or failure of those movements of
troops has vital bearing upon the ex-
tent OF the South African war, and upon
the attitude of England for some
months to come toward international
complications. But even more than the
question whether England is to have
her hands full until summer with the
Boer war Is the other question as to
the extent of the understanding be-
tween England and Germany, as shown
by the retirement of England from Sa-
1noa. The European courts and news
papers would be great deal less than
human IL they did not try to guess at
that arrangement by the attitude of the
English toward Emperor William and
the attitude of the emperor toward his
English cousins. Just now the English
need all the moral support they can get
to check Russia in those advances to-
ward Herat and Pechili bay which all
England believes the Russians will
make il they dare. So the English
would be unnatural If they did not
magnify the Importance Of the en-
peror's visit. The Germans, on the
other hand, sympathize with the Beers
and the German papers show that that
sympathy has not been 1essened by the
prospect of the imperial visit to Eng
land Therefore, the English papers
have been exaggerated and the German
papers are now deprecating the aignifi-
canoe Of the meeting at Windsor. Two
schools Of Interpretation have sprung up
and every imperial sneeze and hand
shake for the next week will be sub
mitted to psychological and chemical
analysis.
But in spite Of all the hurrah this Is
one Of the cases where the simplest ex-
PLANTATION will probably be the truest
The emperor is the ablest monarch in
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-11-25
Our Thanksgiving Number.

~ O-MORROW will be issued the
Thanksgiving number of the
Anaconda Standard. The public
of Montana has been educated to ex-
pect much of the Standard in its spe-
cial editions; we are confident that in
the number to be issued tomorrow
the Standard has in no degree fallen
below the high mark which it has set
for itself.
In the thirty pages which will con-
stitute the Standards Thanksgiving
number will be contained many
sketches and articles of great interest.
There will be a color supplement fully
equal to the one in the Standards SOL
der edition, which attracted comment
far beyond the confines of this state
A characteristic Thanksgiving sketch
in artistic colors graees the first page
of the supplement, while on the back
page appear the portraits of five WIN
some young misses of Montana. Views
in half tone of Allards buffalo herd,
the largest herd of buffaloes now ex-
tant, taken from life by the Standards
artist, Mr.. Trowbrdge, are given in a
handsome double page, forming one of
the strongest features Of the number.
The Standards readers are confident
ly invited to compare this work with
that appearing in the best papers Of
New York City. A lively account Of
the trip in search of the herd is given
by a member of the Standards staff.
Half tone pictures of four Of the blood
ed veterans of the Bitter Root ranch
form another attractive feature of these
pages.
The black and white supplement will
also be found brimful OF readable mat
ter accompanied by sketches. Among
the features may be mentioned scene
at Garrison which will be appreciated
by all who have had to wait for a train
at that little junction: a race of stage
coaches in early days; a live football
page; a chat with Mayor Mccarthy of
Butte on municipal subjects Of present
interest, and the story of q Montana
girl who has jumped to the top of the
theatrical profession in London. In
| addition the Standard tomorrow will
contain its customary dramatic. sport
| ing, society, club and other features
| and all the news, foreign and local.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-11-25

returns. but was subsequently seated.
largely by the votes of Clarks friends;
that almost Immediately after taking
his seat he began voting for Clark
that at the time of his election he was
in straitened circumstances, borrow
ing money or having it advanced to
him by political friends: and that when
the legislative session was over and he
returned to Kalispell his home, paid
off his debts, bought property of con-
siderable value, engaged in business
enterprises of various kinds and showed
every sign of a fair degree of opulenca-
If these things can be shown they are
certainly circumstances of strong sus-
picion and would be so regarded by
any fair minded person of the most
ordinary intelligence.
When he refuses to answer concern
ing them. or gives answers so vague
and indefinite that it is impossible to
trace them up and determine their truth
or falsity it greatly intenstles the sus-
picion, and very justly so. Senator Gel
ger has been charged with having
sold his vote in the senatorial contest.
That is an accusation which, if it rests
upon a tangible foundation, is calcu-
lated to place an indelible stain upon
his character, one which any man in his
position should be anxious to remove.
No consideration of private business"
if it be honorable business, should be
permitted to stand in the way-nor will
it in one case out of million.
To acquire money from a deceased
mothers estate is, as a rule, perfectly
honorable. So it is to obtain money
from ones brother If done in a proper
way. But Mr.. Geiger, while claiming
that these were the sources of his sud-
denly acquired wealth, refused posi-
lively to give single detail, as to
where his mother lived. where she died
or which of his brothers let him have
the money. All of this may be con-
sistent with innocence. but unfortun-
ately for Mr.. Geiger the public will not
believe It, and especially as SO many
of his legislative associates became
rich as suddenly and mXsteriously as
he did
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-11-25
Coached in the Same School.

x TATE SENATOR JOHN H. GEL
~ GER of Flathead county, as
~ witness in the Whiteside libel
suit against the Miner, is playing a
good second to w. A. Clark--not of
Madison, but the one who assumes to
have been elected United States sena-
tor from Montana. Evidently they
have been coached in the same school.
1t will be remembered that when Mr..
Clark's deposition was being taken,
the major part Of his Testimony" con-
sisted of the stereotyped reply: I de
cline to answer" frequently accom-
panied by the explanation that the
subject matter of the question had
nothing to do with the case; that it was
purely private business. In Thursdays
issue of the Standard Is given the testi-
mony of Mr.. Geiger, substantially in
full, taken in the same case. 1t makes
about four columns, but the direct and
positive answers could easily be given
in the space Of two sticks.
When asked the direct question
whether he received money from Clark
or Welcome as a consideration for his
vote in the senatorial contest. he en-
swered very positively no. He was safe
in doing so because if there was any
such transaction it rested between him.
self and Clark or Clark's agents, and
there was no danger of his being
directly contradicted. The only way
the bribery could be shown in this
case, if there was any, was by circum-
absolutely refused to answer, upon the
ground that it was private business.
or where there was danger OF his being
contradicted he took refuge behind the
plea of not being able to remember, a
very usual cause with witnesses who
have something to conceal.
To an unbiased mind 1t looks as if
the most of the questions propounded to
both Clark and Geiger We're in the high
est degree material. Mr.. Whiteside, as
is perfectly we'll known, has charged
Mr., Clark with having secured his cleo
ton as United States senator by the
bribery of members of the legislature.
| The Miner, Yhich is owned by Clark,
has attempted to break the force of
| Whiteside's charge by OBTAINING his
character, and Whiteside has brought
a libel suit against that newspaper.
| The essence Of the Miners attack
| upon Whiteside is that his charge
against Clark is utterly false, and that
Whiteside is a man of no character
one who would not hesitate to commit
| perjury for consideration Hence it
is plain that it is very material fer
| Whiteside to show that he. at least
had good reasons for preferring his
charge against Clark.
| Among those mentioned as having
been bribed, is State Senator Geiger
1t goes without saying that whether
| guilty or not, Gelger would DENY the
| specific charge. But if it can be shown
/ that he went to the legislature o.
| CIark's political opponent, dlstinctly
| pledged against him; that he was moi
! actually elected upon the face of the
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-11-25

Europe. but he liz also the queen
grandson and a member of the large
and not too we'll behaved fanllly VI
Guelphs. There is always quarrel ana
not infrequently a scandal among some
Of those branches, and family councils
are necessary. This is one Of those gath
erings of the clan over which her
majesty has frequent occasion to pre-
side. The fact that Emperor William
is included may mean that his mother,
the Empress Frederick, has a grievance
which her mother, the queen, proposes
to adjust. 1t may mean that some OF
the European off-shoots under the
sphere of the emperor's influence do not
meet the royal approval. The inference
that the visit is purely family council
and not a national affair is emphasized
by the fact that the emperor Is to be
entertained only as the guest of the
queen and the royal family. A fort
night ago the English papers were full
of talk about public demonstrations in
honor of the royal guest, but there will
be no such demonstrations, either be-
cause the talk in the papers was unau-
Authorized or because the emperor OBJ
jects to them at this time. II his
majesty TeaQS MS laIlOuS scrap pooh
he must have been amused at the OUT
break of enthusiasm for his presence
in country where the people barely
tolerated him at the time of the queens
jubilee and which organized a flying
naval squadron in response to his
friendly dispatch to Kruger at the time
of the Jameson raid. The emperor may
be depended on to counterfeit any steps
the English politicians may take to give
international Importance to the visit
The man who was clever enough to bal
ance his reception Ct the czar, by an
nouncing the agreement with England
in regard to Samoa on the same day,
will not be photographed with his arms
around the waist of fair Albion unless
there is rally to be an alliance. and
the evidence and probabilities ere all
against such a step. So the attitude Of
the emperor will be even more interest
ing than that of his uncles and grand
mother this week.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-11-25

that she was not in condition when she
met Cornell, Yale maintaining that CO.
lumbia defeated her by fiuke and
Harvard insisting that she was deferred
from wiping the earth with Yale only
by i'll luck. The beauty of the situation
is that it affords all these colleges soma
comfort and solace.
OF the middle-western teams Chicago
and Wisconsin have shown UP remark
ably well, and it is undoubtedly a fact
that all the leading college teams,
| eastern and western. are more evenly
matched the present season than ever
was the case before. The game itself
has reached high state of perfection.
| Its bad features have been carefully
pruned away. Since 1884. when football
! was prohibited at Harvard. profession
alism has been checked, smuggling has
been made odious and hippodromihg
in New York city has been abolished.
The big games are now played where
they should be played, on college ath-
letic fields, instead Of being turned into
huge, money making spectacles in the
metropolis.
The internal development of the game
is full of interest to football enthusi-
asts. In a critique appearing in the
Springfield Republic, the writer notes
that in 1884, and 1856 even, long passes
from quarterbacks to halfbacks could
still be seen, while the art of inter-
y,s1 do ita
ance. The backs had little help from
the forwards, comparatively speaking,
yet kicking was in higher esteem than
in later years, because in those days
it was more essential to the game. By
1889, however, the backs We're all play
ing close under the line, when on the
aggressive, and interference of the
modern style had begun. The wedge,
also, made its appearance at that time,
and for several seasons the game was
a display of close. compact pushing and
short-range hammering. Out OF this
| early wedge grew the flying wedge at
| Harvard, brilliant IN itself, yet too
wearing upon the players and too pro-
| ductive of accidents to survive. In re-
| cent years, with flying wedges abolished
| and flying interference considerably
minimized, the game has apparently
| hardened into style definite and COM
mon to all the institutions playing it.
Football strategy seems to shave reach
ed it's maximum in theory, and few new
| tactical playing combinations under
present rules can be devised. The spec
tator sees to-day a more highly de-
veloped team play than ever before
with interference, SO far as 1t is given
scope under the rules, reaching high
state of perfection. There has been
also, return to the art of kicking, be-
cause nowadays every point is made tc
count with football knowledge and
training no longer a monopoly of one
of two colleges. The future, doubtless.
will see finer development of indi-
vidual play, as we'll as of team play
but in its general form it must be
| concluded that football in American
colleges has become largely stereo.
| typed.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-11-25
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER %, 1899
TWELVE PAGES.
What the Filipinos Desired.

IN another part of this issue appears
communication from a prominent
citizen of Bozeman relative to the
desire of the Filipinos for independence
under the protection of the United
States. The Standard takes pleasure in
giving it space, and also in directing at
tention to it-especially the quotation
which it contains from Agoncillo, the
duly accredited agent of Aguinaldo,
recognized as such by everybody except
the president of the United States and
his official advisers.
AS the Standard remarked in the ar
ticle to which the correspondent refers,
the evidence is simply overwhelming as
to what the Filipinos desired. To deny
that they were willing to accept an
American protectorate is to assume
that the Filipino leaders stand upon
the border line of idiocy, which they
certainly do not. Agoncillo's statement
quoted shows high degree of acumen,
as do also the most of Aguinaldo's pub
lie utterances. The Filipino leader may
not be an extra ordinarily great man.
but he is a long way from being a fool,
and to decline American protection
would stamp him as one beyond any
question or doubt.
1t is equally clear that in extending
such protection the United States could
have virtually prescribed its own terms.
both with reference to commercial and
naval privileges, and the character of
Af,t a
More than this, it is not to be truth
fully denied that in the first instance
Aguinaldo was encouraged to believe
that the F'ilipinos might expect such in
dependence. From the character of
American institutions, from the Ian
guage of our consular officers in China.
and from the actions of Admiral Dewey
himself, the Filipinos were justified in
looking hopefully for such an outcome.
1t has never authoritatively been de-
MED that Dewey invited Aguinaldo to
Manila, placed arms at his disposal.
looked complacently on while the native
civil government was being organized,
co-operated with Aguinaldo in every
feasible way, and was on the very best
of terms with him.
The same is true of General Anderson,
the commander of the first brigade of
the United States eXpeditionary forces
to land at Manila, This officer officially
assured Aguinaldo that the United
States had entire sympathy and most
friendly sentiments for the natives of
the islands. and he expressly desired
Aguinaldo's cooperation. In short,
Aguinaldo was treated to all intents
and purposes as the head of a Filipino
government and an ally of the Ameri-
can forces SO long as our army was toe
weak to take the offensive and act
alone. But as soon as General Merritt
arrived and found himself at the head
of a sufficiently strong force to be en-.
tirely independent Aguinaldo was
haughtily waved into the background
and, in effect, told that the United
States authorities would have nothin:
more to do with him. These are tn
facts and the official records show it.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-11-25
The Football Season.

THE college football season prac-
tically ends to-day with the
Yale-Princeton game at New
Haven. Only two eastern games of con-
sequence are scheduled for Thanksgiv-
ing day, Pennsylvania-Corn and Co
iumbia-Carltsle. In many ways it has
been a remarkable season, so full of
bewildering surprises as to upset all
calculations and leave the question of
superiority in haze of doubt. On the
face of things the little, one-horse COL
Iege Of Lafayette is the champion.
Lafayette beat Cornell, who beat CO.
lumbia, who beat Yale, who tied Har-
ward. OF course excuses are offered all
along the line, Cornell claiming that
she did not send her strongest team
against Lafayette, Columbia declaring
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-11-25

The Standard can be found at the fol-
lowing news stands:
New York al Astor House.
Chicago at Postoffice.
Chicago at Auditorium Annex.
San Francisco al Palace Hotel.
Denver at $50 Lawrence st.
Denver at 906 Seventeenth st.
Salt Lake at 81 w. Second South st.
Salt Lake at Salt Lake News Co.
All general business letters and CORE
spondence should be addressed to the
STANDARD PUBLISHING COMPANY,
Anaconda, Mont.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-11-25

From the Minneapolis Tribune.
"Eendraght MAXI Magt"-right
makes nights the motto of the
Transvaal republic. This is a very
good motto, much better than the old
bullying saying that Might makes
right"
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-11-25

Spoiled beef does not agree with Brit
ish soldiers any better than it did with
their American contemporaries. There
is a good deal Of rottenness in most
modern commissary DEPARTMENTS.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-11-25

If the war news via London is to be
believed, the weeks bonbardment of
Kimberley has resulted in no damage
whatever. Obviously this can't be true
for the Beers reputation as marksmen
must be fearfully damaged.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-11-25

the game of politics and for once In his
life, confer benefit upon his country,
are not generally accepted as credible.
Long, 1t is rumored displays mucil-
agenous affection for his desk. Poor
Mr. Mckinley!
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-11-25
Has Something to Learn.

From the Atlanta Constitution.
One more Crowninshield in the navy
department would be disastrous to the
navy itself. Crowninshield has en-
tirely forgotten that the department.
the bureau he is the head of, and all
The vessels of the navy, belong to the
people. The department furnishes some
very warm causes of congressional ac-
tim
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-11-25
Mrs. T. Is tia Better Half.

From the Philadelphia Times.
Senator Thurstons marriage might
be looked upon as a tie in the senate,
without the vice presidents usual de-
Gliding vote being necessary.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-11-25
Thurston In a Ouandary.

From the Washington Star
Mr.. Thurston may be having some
difficulty in deciding whether his sue
cess in poetry has made him famous as
senator or whether his success in the
senate has made him famous as poet.