The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05
Lightning Rod Man
interviewed in Gotham
2 The Editorial Corpse.

rods, e. az | waz REGISTERED at the |
Waldorf-Astoria the ever alert & iniqui- |
tus reporter calld on me an interview. |
(By the way, the next time | visit the |
metrolopis l wont stop at that hotel. Ill |
stop at the hyphen-that's just between
the Waldorf Astoria ketch the point?
No xtra charge that COAX az 1t aint orr |
ginc The Waldorf IL crate hotel 4 a
man with lots ov mummy but its no place
4 man with braing. But az my friend
Roody kipling wood say, That's a hoss
ov another street car, let us stick the
origincl story.'D However, wish .
state rite now that If "A famous man
wants liv in kumfcrt he shood travel
inkogncto. Wood that l had a non dc
poOm!
/ was sittin in my room, ndevrlng get
my munnys worth, (& who woodn't
when he waz paying So day? l ask, &
boldly answer nobudy, or enybrdy else),
| when a bell boy tapt at my dore, opend
| 1t & walkt in.
"There's a reporter down stairs wants
| . interview YOU Shall l show him up?'
| sed the boy.
Due you charge xtra 4 guests 2 be in
| tCrvewd i'm there rooms?' | replide, "lf
| you due Ill so down stairs * see him in
| the lobby or the barroOm."
| "No xlra charge" sed the bellloy.
| "Awl rite" [ rerlide with n magestick
| wave uv my hand, az tho bein intervewd
| waz Il daily occurrence; in fackt you'd
think see me that being intcrvewd waz
| a habit l had kOntraCktcd like Chawnccy
| Depew.
| "Show the gentleman up"
| The bellboy departed 4 by the time
| had my hare rumpled up $50 az look
| litraryJ the boy rcturnd with the fresh
| est, most awdashus spesimen ov human
| ity 1t haz ever bin my misfortune 2 witt
| ness / desided the mint L saw him
| gly o1 1pl ln nr
| by the sekwel wether or not | suckseedcd
| The pusilanmus retch flung hiz hat on
| the bed, lifted siggeret took off hiZ cote,
| sharpend sum pensis & sat down ut the
| table be 4 he sed a word Yude hav
thawt see him that he waz payin the
per insted ov me. However when [
say he smoked siggerrets ] tell the hole
story. You can judge hiz caiber dt waz
% shorD.
81 suppose" sed he, when he waz reddy
start, that YOU are Mr.. Kidder?'
| ! Civ him a Cursery look with the AK
sent on the 1st sillable) & replide. "The
| same"
81 hav cum" scd he, "2 intervew you;
will YOU submit gently or will it be nee
essery use forse?'
"You wax faseshus." l remarkt
"Oh no." he rcplide, that's my usual
gate"
81 CESS the hinges IL off yure gate, aint
| thav?' | VenShurd.
Lets kwit foolin, Mr.. Kdder, & get 2
work; my time IL valuable"
There are others who suffer from the
same komplaint; you can't start eny ?
soon SCOT me-"
"Awl rite" he re9lide. "where were
you born?"
| "Kiddersvilc Pa"
"Waz the town named after you?'
mo, the town waz named be me; 1t
waz founded by my granfather & named
him."
whats the date ov yure BERTH"
April, 1874"
Don't you no the XaCt date?"
"No. my muther waz out ov town at
the time, e. nObudy thawt it ov cnuf inn
pOrtants iot 1t down"
"Then YOU wern't born in KidedrsvileT'
"I sed l was bonn in Kiddersvile but
my muther was out ov town at the time
That's funny"
81 don't meen it's funny, but singuler."
Eyes you mite call it pekuler."
81 shood say it waz. l never herd ov
sutCh a case"
"Nor I; imagin thay are rare"
| IT'S be hoped So" he replide, then.
after a little kalkulashun, he kontinude,
you are there 4 fifty yeers old, Mr..
| [iddcr."
II was 2S the 9TH day ov last July"
But, my deer Mr.. Kidder-"
more abowt my hizness than | due what
did you cum hear AZ"
| But l never herd OV enything so
strange. How on earth"
"Yung man, you can ask questions &
| Ill anSer them, but if you interrupt me
ageh you can konsider this interview at
an end, Ill admit that I've had sum Xtra-
ordinery Experiences in my karear, but |
feel lust az bad abowt it az cny budy
else, q l don't thank you kontirually
reminding me ov them
| "AWl rite, I'll try not .. but really |
never met so pe<ulier man in my life"
Now, there you go agen, | hav ad-
mtted that | waz pekuier; in fackt Bill
told me afterword that he had me in
mind when he rote that Truth IL strang-
| er than hXshun'."
"WhO waz Bill?'
"The late William Shakespeare"
Did you no Shakespeare he askt with
n gasp.
Did / no him?" Wen. l shood say l
did no him, he waz my 2nd couzin, tho
I didn't no it till l met him at Valley
Forge"
"Why, | never new that Shakespeare
waZ in this country
"Oh. yes, he swan over in the fawl ov
'G3. 1t waz Bill that tawt me shoot
kraps."
"He swan Over?"
That's what / scd"
"IIe must hav bin a remarkable swim
mer."
"IIe waz a boy"
How old waz Mr. Shakes9cre at that
time?"
"Goin on yeers"
"Wondcrfull!"
YES, George, sed he wood make hiz
mark in this world C& between you &
!, it waz awl he Good due make hiz
mark). You no SHAKESPEARE coodn't rite"
"He coodn't rite?"
"NO. he Coodn't spell hiz own name, Il
even now its pelt dozen diffrent ways.
That's the way hiz work came . be dis
puted."
What due you mcenc"
"Why, yuve certny herd that Bacon
claims hav ritten sum ov Shakesperes 5
plays"
| Eyes"
"Well, he did, he rote nccrly awl ov
them"
"You don't say So"
"Yung man, | did say so & | don't
want YOU continually interrupt me.
am telling you sum cold, hard fackts that
haV never be bin diVulgd . the publiCE