Evening journal., 1899-04-15
JONES IS DISTURBED
[contInaed Prom FIrst Page.l

wuz appointed to sell postig stamps an
posul cards fer Mister Charles Emry
Smith IN Wilmington. Wen, Kernel
Doopont wuz handlin' the paytrunage at
that time an he sez, IAN right Bill, yu
kin have hit after Mister Vandegrift gifts
throo tryin these yere Dover bank cases.
You know. Lew an Ned Bradford ust to
be partners. an Ned allows as how hit
wudn't be square dele TO tern Lew out
before he'd had good. fare am square
chanse Of sendin them fellers over to
Trenton" An Mister Bern sez: "Keruel,
how long do you think hits goin to take
Lew to try them cascs2 I'm gittin ank-
shus." "Oh" the kernel sez ''hits only
a matter Of a few days, or a few weeks
You're all right" Then WiHyam Mikel
Bern set hlsself down an began watln'
That wuz over yere ago, an he's still
a-wahfn Hit begins to look as tho
them bank cases wuz goin' to run three
or fore months the uther side Of Mister
McKlnley's admlnistrashun. But that
hain't adj There's bin a new dlspensa-
shun Mary Ann, an our feller,
Mister Horecker is givln' out the
grapes. F'lndin' out as how Herbert
Ward wudn't take the atterneyship or
ennythgng Csssen a sennytorship or a
iedgeshyp, Mister HoGecker wert to
WalJcr Hayes am sed; Walter, how
wud yu like to have Mister Vands-
grlft's place wen he gifts thrco with
hat?" "Damwelb" sed Mister Hayes.
I'm good dele Hike that fe,ror h-o
went TO a crossrodes hctel in Texas am
got his 1lpper an nights lodg'n' an
brCA-uel. Wen ne cum to sgttln' UP
he ant fer his bill HIT wuz $3.50 WE
llar-l-rd. he SCI, how duz hil cum tha.
yu charge me $3.50 fer supper brek-
fust an Nights lOdgn?" lIae and
lOrd studdlCd a mlnLt al thel sod.
| liit duz look liulle steep, sNarEer,
buc the fact OF the matter Us that I've
get note I'm hank an / necll the
money" Mister HOffe-ksr laffed
that quiet llcue laff of h.ssen, an sed:
Then yu kin begin pract.cin' fer the
plase." l CESS sumbCddy must a-told
Mister Bern for he cum y,rc in the
hayIiCk an me ami him an George
R-borts an Pierce GOold set up on the
crCssbeme an held a conforms. Hit
wuz serten.y a sad site, Mary Ann. We
sed we didn't HAY nuth,n agin him
tu. the fact as hCw he Wllz a Regular
Ef he wud drap Lattymus an cum out
am give three cheers fer Adtlx we mite
he able to fix uhings up with Mister
Iloifecker. He sed the only greevancs
he h3d ag.n Mister Addix w.uz that he
wanted to be Yoonlted Stalls seniter
We told him that the only greegance
we had agin Mister Bern welz that he
wanted to be Yoonited Stats dsssttr,ct
attorney. felt sorry we cudn't give
HIM no better noOs but things is com.
I'M our way now, an we've go. to grat
'dm as they cum fer THERE ma MT mennN
of 'em left. Hit may be as how Kerne
Docpont kim reeassert hlsself fer tM's.
tern Bern's bennyft, but | don't think
he kin.
Our Ge'ieIs is gittln reddy Ter the slt.y
eleckshun- On the Raglcr RepuhBlk' II
s-d'a Mister Browne has shaved OF hi.
mustash an Mjstah Noles has called {
meatin of his committee Hit begins
to lock- as tho hlt'M be a mWey warm
BRUSH. Purity soon you'll see ttam Reg
iers cum snekln' around our fauers s1fg.
gestin' that we git together am win tl,,
| Dlmmocrats, That's there rrogram
but hit won't wlm'k. We're goin' 3,
haNe a little Ticket OF our own. an
taere hain't gOin' to be no cummlr
primaries. We're sertenly silk Of conn
MIN prfmerles. They ha.in't TO good.
1 heer as how sum of them Regler.
don't think therein be two tickets fl
the field In Joonl Ef There harn't bu
one. hit'M be Mister 'Addixs. fer w,
toaln't git along withcmo ore. rohow
We're after a vndylKashun az the poles
an were a-goin' to- git hit
Mister YOOinlg, a bruther of cur owl
dare Mister YcOing, has bin appointe.
postmaster at Roclkland, and we're go
'n' to git stamps an postil cards at
discount. Hit IL suspecNtel as how
Kernel DccpOnt didn't have nuthin' L
do with the mal5in of that there ap
lpontment. He hain't got nc more us
fer emmy feller named YO-lng. In
semenly sorry Mary ANN, as how tn
plum tree wuz so mere emty wen Ker
mel DoopOnt termed hit over to Niste
lHohecker. Hit hain't ft fer much nov
but firewCCd,
Ef you see emmy of the trends c
Dennis JAW Leerey tell 'em as hO,
They kin quit wurldin on him, fer h
has sed as how he will rum fer a saC
kind turn In SFtty Counsel AN tn
luther DimmOlarats is goin' to run al
/, hit wuld a-hert his prCspoclls fer maye
ef he had bOlted the cawcuss. Ther
must a-bin sumthin' thu maaber wit
Loerey, fer he wuz the ferst p-lvtishu
| ever run up agin who moved wen o.
p had onuf He Cughter be enkeredge,
\ Ef you kin contract with them car
a merry feElers fer ten akers of termats ;
p six dOl!ers a tun tell BIN to SO over {
p Pete Marrydith's am asst him to n
O you have as menny termat plants ;
|. You need an git EN- set out as 500
T. as you kin.
/ see as how Mister Brown an SUI
= CT th,m luther Rogler Republican fe
b lers allows as how Mister Hoffeckl
r. hain't superseded Kernel DoOpont
Y the dispensater of postoffices am slS
el like. ! do wonder eff they know wIh:
3 they're tall1in' about? / kin skeerse
e understand why our fellers shud lie
N me thisaway ef hits troo.
t. Frank AEoe, MIN Wilson an INK
d J.nkins has bin mp to see mre. They a
N low as how tllrngs'M be all rite i'm. Kei
N an Sussix ef IlI stay I'm hidtn' nm,
r Mister Corner Qitg flhrn flntre..t is,-t t,,s