Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1899-03-02
CoRKINC GOOD STORIES.
GENUINE FUN SERVED UP IN
SHORT STORIES.
Pats Lament Over tho Hardship Of Els
Frisnd's Having to Take . Supply
Of Coal with Him,
Is Funny.

also q sailor, died. Pat had known
him in the old country 1t Is the Gus
tom when a person dies at sea to sew
the body up In a sack, hang a weight
TO II 20 make 1t sink, and drop 1t over
board with prayer. Well, when
O'Rourke died they had no shot 10
weight II with, so had to put In two or
three big humps Of coal instead. Pat
WAS there 10 see the last of his friend
When the sack was lowered into the
water Pat said, with tears In his eyes:
"Oi always knew O'Rourke to be a
bad man. and Oi often told him where
he WAS goin' phin he doid. but OF
didn't tink he'd have to take his own
coal wild him."
physician and his friend were
standing on the street corner Of a Viz
ginia town where they were spending
few days. Their attention was
amusingly arrested by the sight Of an
old darby bslaboFing the tanks OF a
mule In vain persuasion to make
him move on. At last the doctor was
appealed to-
Say, boss, III give you FIVE dollahs
ef you'll make dis hyar mule 60"
With sly wink the physician
opened his case and took out his hy-
podermic syringe, filed the needle
with an acid and sent 1t into the hind
quarters OF the mule. The effect was
magical With a wild plunge the
mule went tearing the street, with
the darkey after him and the by
ISLANDERS roaring with laughter A
short time afterward the darky, dust
covered and painting, approached
again.
Say, boss-how much-was de wuT
OF dat stuff yO' done squht-in dat
muIeF
Oh said the doctor "about 10
cents
Down went IL. darkv's hands into
ms jeans pockets He i.safd out TWO
dimes.
'Ilyah. boss am 20 cents. I WISH
! 70 would squht-twico aus much of
dat stun INTO me case J. SO bound
TO catch dat mule
Foote, pra sing the hospitality Of tlo
! IRISH. after one Cf his rrips 20 the SIS.
| ter kingdom. "A gentleman asked him il
| he had ever been al Cork. NO SIR
| replied Foote "but have seen many
/ drawings OF II"
AT Killarney every visitor hears
| some laughable stories. Here Is one:
A number Of boatmen who were quar-
reling about the division OF "tlps" in
dulged at the top OF their voices in a
good deal OF profane language. which
the marvellous echo repeated verbatim
"Arrah. look at that now. for scan
| da!," said one Of the party, who was
| Of n pious turn OF mind "T'achin' the
| poor harmless echo to curse and
| sware."
| The construction Of Prince Bis
| marCk's sentences was frequently
! portentous. ON the occasion to which
! | have been particularly referring.
says a writer In the Century. my com
sanion was as impatient rs only an
intelligent woman can he to secure the
intellectual treat before her and gave
minute instructions 10 her interpreter.
All went well for a time. as the low
voice OF the paustaklng translator
rendered with some adequacy the
thought OF Bismarck Then there were
short pauses. followed by rapid little
summaries OF what had been said.
AS these grew more and more fire.
quent. the lady became irritated Fl
nally there was an entire cessation on
the part OF the Interpreter and yet Bis
marck was going right on with ever
increasing vehemence There were
constant calls from the lady OF
whats he saying? What's he say
ing?' and an Increase OF Impotence
in the box quite proportionate to the
growing violence Of the speaker. FL
nally the wretched Interpreter could
endure the strain no longer and. turn
ing with gesture Of fierce resent.
ment to his excited employer he
hissed Madam, | am waiting for
the vnrhr
Baron de Rlenzis. the new Italian
ambassador to England, VIII be much
missed Madrid. 4 span sh admirer
OF the baron says tha' az Madrid he
was considered the fine flower Of that
old-fashioncd courtesy SO dear 70
Spanish high life He viii probably
be amazed at the free aud-casy man
ners Of English society on one occa-
sion when he was at Madrid, = lady