Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1899-11-11

THE SCHOOL BOARDS ILLS


Experiment ana tinker an Try THIS
An try that. till it's no wonder
The children nowadays get their
Heads filled up with the derndest
Lot OF rubbish you ever heard Of
When I wuz boy went to school ..
Three months every year,
An confined my operations to
The three Rs-Feadin'. 'riun' and nth
metic-
That's all 1 wanted. an that's "a.
All needed. got them - IT,
Well set into my head. an
Then quit an started out to
Make my own nvin' at an age
When most boys these times is a.
Boardtn at home an lettin' their
Pa an ma buy their cloze.
I'm just about as well Off to-day =
As some of EN- that went to college
An got their heads full OF
Them dog-goned 'ologies' -.
can skin a man at trade
Just about as quick as IL I'd
Took Latin an Greek year In an
Year out ever since was knee
High TO a duck,
An don't you think different =.
When wuz boy we didn't
Have no frills on our schoolin'.
We give the young uns what they needed
When a boy got so he could
Read the New York Weekly Trybune an
Cipher an write q fair hand
He graduated mighty quick an
Started IN to earn his board an keep.
I may say that / account for my
Success in life an my all-round
Ability to get the long end of a trade
On the grounds, by ginger, that when
wuz young 1 didn't learna
Lot of hifalutin' tomfoolery.
II does seem to me the schools
These days is run by a pack of
Sap-heads. F'rinstance-
AS soon young uns are big enough
To waddle they set 'em to work
In what they call kindergarten.
Buildin' block houses an DRAWN
Pickchers an so on-the derndest
of for ~ xrr.ts Ccas1l fv~,o
Then. when they're little older,
They start 'em into readin' before
They even learn 'er their A b Cs.
If that amt fact I'll eat my hat
Now. claim, IS a practical man.
That the only way to break in
Child to readin' IS just TO learn 'em
The alphabet. then the a-b-abs
An the short words, an then after
That let 'em tackle the short
Sentences. graduley workin' up to
Ossian's Address to the Sun.
That's what 1 done.
The Lord Harry only knows what
They don't have the children
+ Do these days. though.
. says 10 my sisters little girl. Mile,
The other day, says 20 her; What
Are you talkin' at school now, Miller
An she said she was takin'-
Well, can't begin to tell you
Only remember two. Spanish an
Physiology. says: For the lands
Sake. what does girl no bigger'n has
O. salt
Want to learn TO jabber
That stun f0r7 Amt United States goot
enough
For you?' L says What's the use O
wastin'
Your time learnin' to talk that7' 1 says.
Furthermore, don't like the Spanish.
An wouldn't care to talk TO 'em.
An as far as
The other thing w1lz concerned ifI
Had a daughter wouldn't want her
To be studyin. about livers an lights
An all such entraAs, becuz them
Things don't concern girls. It's all
Right for a doctor 90 know about
lizards an what they're for. but
a girl had a dog-goned sight better
Learn how TO keep house an cook.
So't when she gets married she
Can help her husband save money.
But what / started out to say
Wuz this-I see by the papers
That the teachers amt allowed to
Punish the scholars any more.
They made 'em stop usln' the CAD
Some time ago. an now they go
So far as TO say that the children
Must learn self-gover' ment!
What do you think OF that?
Seif-govern' menti In other words,
Let the children be their own bosses.
I'd like TO know what kind of an
y Old granny got up that rule.
know, an you know, that there's
Some boys that need good thrashtn'
; Now an then. just the same as me
An you need our meals
&c seems TO regulate an tone the
, { system for EN-. Spare the rod
( An spell the child They never
Spared IL on me. used to get
1t laid across my back regular
With a hickory derned near big
Enough for a fence post. used to
Have wells up an down my legs
~ An be black an blue most o the time.
After got it at school I'd go home
An the old man'd do it all over again
= There's nothin Ike a good larrupin'
r Two or three times week to
= Tougher up boy an sort o. keep
The orneriness busted cut o. him
got so used TO expect 1t.
An II went whole week
Without gettin' my Jacket tanned
uwuz sort O. restless. a good
Deal like horse that feels
His oats an wants TO get out OF
His box stall an cavort around
Through the lot for awhile.
The teacher seemed to know what
Lnesded whenever I'd begin to
Act q little cagey, so he used to
Go for me about once week
Whether he had any good excuse or no
He just licked me on general
principles KNOWN mighty well that,
y Even II he couldn't ketch me in any
- Deviltry. 1t was only fair to conclude
81 1hat Ia been up 20 somethin' that
vi He didn't know anything about;
IN An I'm free to say he didn't very
~ Often get in a lick amiss.
Sc There wuzn't any woman could teach
80 A man didn't have to know very much.
S& But if he Wuzn't good wrasler
e ~. An If he couldn't choke the wind out of
- A great brig hulk weighin' about one-eig
An then get him down into a corner
A. An haste him till he hollered: 'Enoug
Well, he didn't have no call to
Try to teach the young idee how
3 TO shoot around in them parts.
We didn't try any self-gover ment
- Experiments, / can tell you that.
The first day o. school the teacher
Licked the biggest boy or got
Licked an after that we -either
- Knew who wuz boss or else
School let out till the board
Could hunt up a heavier man
For teacher.
An now, by thunder, II a teacher lays
finger on boy for some piece OF
Cussedness they get the law on hims
The school board fires him an
Everybody says he's q brute.
What are we comm to?
DO You think I'd be the man