Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-09-14
The Baby Show.

"A baby, more especially II tnat pabH
happens to be one of their own kin or
has been made the recipient of part
or the whole of ones name.
This was babies morning at the fair
and they owned the place and all their
friends and relatives. The baby was
on exhibition and there was all sorts OF
of a rush to see him. | have an idea
that the mothers of feminine infants
will take exception to my use of the
masculine gender but | don't know as
much about babies as | might. 1t is
true that once many years ago l was
one myself but it is so long ago that
have no distinct recollections OF that
blissful state. Blissful? Why! yes 1t
must have been for when a chap is III
swaddling clothes the ladies crowd
around him and say all mannero of sweet
things which they forget to say when
he is grown. When he grows up they
forget to say these sweet, sugar-coated
things to him but say things which
make him wish he was again only an
infant-a bald headed baby. without
any nose to speak Of and no chin worth
mcntioning-a privileged character VINO
can sit back and make up faces at the
ladies and never have to think up
pretty speeches for his feminine friends.
When a chap grows older and the
bald spots and gray hairs are lighting
for supremacy on his Uranium. he stops
once in a while and realizes that after
all the only real freedom and authority
he ever knew was in the brief period
when he was attended by nurse and
could stay up as long a he wanted to
and keep the whole house and most of
the neichborhood out of sympathy.
But it is aggraVating that of all this
despotism he cannot recall the slightest
thing He knows by the record in the
family Bible by what his people have
told him. that he was born at such a
time and he therefore knows that di-
rectly following that date there was a
while that he ruled the house and was
monarch of all he surveyed, just no"
long that was and how he filled the
time he never knows. but he has deep
seated remembrance that for some rea-
son or other his reign came to an end
The cause of his downfall is a mystery
to him and ever will he, but he will
never forget that on a certain day he
did something which even Cars may
not do. He does not recall what it was
that he did but he has vivid memories
that from that time he has suffered
the ignomny of a spanking.
If baby could be born with all his
faculties developed he would never
leave off being baby, for just as soon
as he does. he has, in measure to
shift for himself He will never again
be waited on as he is when his brain is
no doesn't know
ANYTHING about it. He may grow old
and wax wealthy and have serN ants
who will do his every bidding or he
may emigrate to Dewey land and have
a score of Filipino slaves to answer his
commands but he will never have his
wishes consulted so solicitouSly.
He is in clover and he doesn't know
ANYTHING about it. The first time that
he realizes that it is clover is when the
gate snaps to behind him and he has
become a more or less troublesome
duffer in short dresses and thirst for
adventure.
As time passes he becomes to realize
more and more strongly that he has
ceased to be anything remarkable and
except on state occasions when MS
parents wish to make an impression on
some neighbor. He finds out that the
long clothes were the emblem of auto
cracy and that a kid in short dresses IS
only a kid in short dresses and that he
isn't even allowed to rule himself. let
alone running the rest of the houS ahold.
But what's the use of writing this
about babies for none who has dar-
ling baby of their own will read it. for
those people are not interested in it,
and those who have a baby Of their
own won't read it for the reason that it
;s NOT about their own darling The
man who takes babies for a text writes
to an exceedingly small audience. Ii
the babies themselves could read 1t II
might be worth while to write at more
length but bless their hearts they can
not.
But the lucky little bundles of pink
and Wilderness don't have to keep post
ed on the Dreyfus' trial or progress of
Otis men in the Philippines or the rise
of copper in the stock market. They
have not yet got along to the period 81
daily papers and it will be long time
before they realize that they have al
ready made their entry into the news Of
the day.
There were IL of the handsomest
babies which have been seen for many
a day. They were darlings. every one
of them and a gentleman who is an eX-
perienced baby show judge. said that
never in his life had he seen such fine
display of babies or one which was s.
hard to judge. AS the babies were al
under the age of l year there was not 9
very great contrast between them Bot
the one thing which aroused more com
ment than any other was the fact tina
there were no crying babies in thF
whole show. There We're babies With
new tangled names. babies with Old
fashioned names. babies which Were
raised in the old fashioned way, babes
which are being raised on the patent
baby raiser. babies which demand thelr
nightly jag of paregoric and babies
who never have tasted insidiouS sleep
producer.
The prize winner was Lulu Grace
Wing. the 11-months-old daughter OF
Mrs A. Wing of Fayette Corner, and she
was the most delicious bunch of pini
and whiteness which was ever shown a
baby show. She was a darling 2nt
anyone should be proud of the little
dear The judges did good work il
naming her as the pretties baby in th'