Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1899-09-14
5.aMj||
4I5lyas'Gz.
= @<|ffsAf 80 a*as iieH

"How's your ,hatT' F1ne! Wnen
we moved in my wife had to lend her
piano." 'el-t
Miss Huges--M My face - my fortune.
Percy Simmons-Dld you-7er-amass II
yourself?
sshe says she'll never, never marry
"She must have been looking at herself
In the glass"
maud is not going away" "Sickr
mo; she can't find tan shoes to match
her new leather satchel." t+4.,
"My only request was for Miss Pref
| tyman's hand" 'WellT my sole an
swer was her fathers foot"
The editor-Such stale jokes! I'm
sick Of mother-in-law talk. The hui
morist-Ah. sir, have you one. tool
Mrs. Smythe-I wonder why old CHI
ma Is 30 rare and valuable Mrs. De
Jones-Why, thought you kept ser.
yant. ssAas* ~ANSk q
She--You are too corpulent. I'd
marry you II you were reduced. He
Do you take me for bargain counter
article? gHK
Pearl-Did you see that shark they
advertise down at the beach? Ruby
/ saw the hotel landlord, II that's what
you mean.
Denny-Th' gur-rul thot OF marry
must be loike foine silk. Nora-An'
how Is thot? Denny-Not shrink whin
1t comes to washing. III esfts kesefs
Wabash--Are you fond Of repartee,
Miss olive? Miss Olive (of st. Louis
No; wouldn't give one cup of coffee
for all the tea ever saw. el
She-What did papa say? Hell
asked his consent to our marriage by
telephone. and he replied, II don't
know who you are, but It's all right"
Jinks-I want to get warrant for
that circus manager. Magistrate-On
what grounds? Unison the circus
grounds. There's where the trouble be-
gan. 5f8W y Ngln 80
Weary Walker-Some fellows is hogs,
but dat amt me. I don't want de
earth. wayworn Watson-Me nuther.
Three-fourths Of de blamed thing Is
water.
"He offended Miss Oldgirl unpardon-
ably" How did he do itT" why,
when she asked him what she should
play on the piano for him he suggested
Last Hope" G 5N
Dedbroke-I hear you called on the
lady's father last night. How did he
like your suit? Harduppe-Very much,
think. He kept half the COAT collar
when left.
Cousin Lucinda wants to go down.
stairs and see man about taking her
trunk to the station when Is she
going homer" "a week from next
Wednesday" .sss
"No,i sirr' she exclaimed emphatic
ally, mo living man shall kiss me-"
"Well, don't mind confessing." he re-
piled, "that many of my friends consid-
er me dead one."
shes dear, dear girl" said the
fond mother. glaneing approvingly at
her daughter. Yes, she certainly IT,"
said the father, glancing disappearing
ly at her dressmaker's bill. 8i
Johnny" called the Throop street
lady, run around to the cigar store
and see IL the scores in yet" I'm sur
prised," remarked her visitor, ito see
you take so much interest In base ball.
"Say, captain" asked a passenger,
how far are we still from landw
about two nautical miles," answered
the captain. but we can not see land
II
liey Straight below, SIR"
Mr.. Stubb-There comes Fortune"
Mrs. Stubb-Who, John? Mr.. Stubb-
Fortune the female book agent.
Mrs. Stubb-Why in the world do you
call her "Fortuney Mr.. Stubb-Be-
cause she knocks at every mans door.
don't even understand the game"
Neither do I, dear, but you see want
to ask George for little pin money.
If the Chicago team won I'll ask him
the minute he gets In the door. II they
lost, I'll ask him tomorrow, or maybe
the day after"
"How is it that you and Jones haven't
spoken for years? l can remember
when you were inseparable friends"
I'VE agreed to correct each others
errors in grammar. At the end of the
third day the same house would not
hold us both and we have never be-
come reconciled since" ih
Great Scottr' cried the overheated
man, II could smash that thermome-
ter" 81 thought you had more respect
for old age" ventured the man In the
French flannel suit "Old age? What
has that to do with It. young manT
''why, sir, can't you see that thermom-
eter Is In the nineties?" fe
II can't help feeling sorry for the
farmer" said the young man who owes
for summer board. "WhyT inquired
Mr.. Corntossel, abruptly. Because
why--er--because his back Is bent with
toll" "Mebbe you're right. Mebbe it's
harder to bend your back with toll than
II 10 to bend 1t ridin'r a bicycle. And
yet. can't see but what 1t amounts
to the same thing, in the end"