davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-11-02
WELCoME.


Welcome homeI No sweeter words
can spring to human lip. Sweet for
the loved ones returning and sweeter
still to the mother and girls they left
behind them. All Kansas bids her gal
liant sons a welcome heartfelt and sin
cere.
After anxious months Of waiting the
joyful news was flashed across the land
that the Tartar, bearing the Twentieth
Kansas volunteers. had been sighted
coming in the Golden Gate. Thank
God, they're coming home" was on
every lip. Hearts swelIed with joy and
thanksgiving. That joy the soldier boys
could not see or appreciate. They could
not hear the demonstration that swept
over the Sunfower state that night, but
they now see all parts of Kansas rep
resented at the capital city to bid them
a welcome greater than ever before &C
corded an Individual or an organization,
within the borders of the state.
other regiments from Kansas have
won glory. The Twentieth has perpet-
uated the vaIor of those Kansans who
were the first to answer their country's
call.
No ancient hero returning from the
wars received the welcome given our
ownsself-made brigadier; no army could
have received the ovation accorded the
''F1ghting Twentieth The regiment
took that nick name while camped on
the sand hills of Camp Merritt before
they had ever smelIed powder smoke.
Some people laughed. The sturdy Kan
sans gave no heed. Every day at dress
parade "A Hot Time" was played. That
was ''the fighting tune of the Twen-
tieth." The regiment adopted a yell
Rock chalk Jay hawk K. UP That
tune and that yell have echoed and re-
sounded through the rice swamps and
5ungIes of Luzon.
They went, they saw, they conquered
They return triumphant. Heroes, ev-
eryone Of them. No one ridicuIes the
nickname nor the tune and the yell has
struck terror to the hearts of the insur-
gents
The shattered ranks bring back a lit
tie over half the number that marched
away year and half ago. Not a few
are sleeping on Battery Knoll, beneath
the shade of the listIess palm. They'll
dream of battle fields no more. Others
have remained in the Philippines to
take their places in new regiments and
to win fresh 1aureIs. Those who gave
their lives for the stars and stripes will
never be forgotten. All Kansas and
all the nation revere their memory
and viii not forget their valor and
their sacrifice. When their bodies are
brought back to rest in their native soil
they will be honored.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-11-02

The noisy and joyous welcome ex-
tended to Kansas returning volunteer
soldiers proclaims to the world the
pride which the state feels in their
achievements. and is intended as pub
lie token of her appreciation of their
work, worth and patriotism. Deep down
in the hearts Of the people is another
and a finer sentiment which can not
md expression in the blare Of bugIes,
the boom of cannon, the bursting of
rockets or the music of bands. 1t is
akin to that feeling which fills the heart
of a parent when a son returns with
honor from an undertaking fraught
with hardship and peril. The former
will live in history, but the latter will
endure in the memories of all the peo-
pie, those who were present today and
those who were away. It will cluster
around the family hearthstone and will
be transmitted from generation to gen
Grafton The tale of how the Tween
tieth Kansas fought in the Philippines
viii never grow old in telling.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-11-02
KANSAS TO THE FRONT.

GFrom the Denver Post.l
Yankees used to sort O. sneer
When they spoke O. Kansas,
Thought the state was out o gear
Something wrong in Kansas.
People spent their time, they thought,
Raisin h-ll and whiskers; not
Runnin' things jest as they ought
In the state O Kansas.
Home O. cyclones, so they said,
1,1 Out in bIeedin. Kansas; -
On the plains of Kansas.
Got 50 dry at times a gust
OF breeze d raise the dust
From the beds O. streams: that's Just
How they talked O. Kansas.
But the god O. plenty smiled
On that same OF Kansas;
Got a hustle on an piled
Grain all over Kansas;
Started POpulistic cranks,
Jinglin' money in their TANKS,
DOM business at the banks
Scattered over Kansas.
Then the folks that used to swear
An revile at Kansas
Weakened an begun to stare
In surprise at Kansas.
Whooped fur her till you d a thought
They was wild. then made a swat
At a dizzy from the pot
Antied up by Kansas.
Now they've got another cause
Fur to cheer OF Kansas:
Just WhOOpin' the applause
Up in stacks fur Kansas.
Sent a regiment away
To the Philippines. an they
Are raisin' Ned, they say,
Winnin' fame fur Kansas.
show'rs O. lightnin' couldn't stop
Them wild boys O. Kansas.
When they hear the rifles pop,
Hear EN- hOller Kansas
Then, away they go, pell nell,
With a wild jayhawker Yell
Make the rebels think that hell
Is a part O. Kansas.
Now she swells the roll O. fame =
Pride-inflated kansas
With another hero name,
"Fightin' Fred O. Kansas.
People everywhere let fly
That same OF cOnundrum cry,
With the usual reply:
What's the mat with Kansas?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-11-02
GOLDEN GATE FAREWELL.
Major General Skater and Mayor
Phelan Review the Regiments.

The following is from the San Fran
cisco Call of October 26:
"Over 5000 people gathered in Me-
chanics' Pavilion last night, the at
traction being the entertainment of the
Twentieth Kansas volunteer regiment
The affair was under the auspices of
the United States army department of
the Young Mems Christian Association,
and it was a farewell reception to the
famous regiment. The exercises com
prised a drill, band. and promenade
concert, and the proceeds will be de-
voted to the work in Manila.
1.-THE regiment was reviewed by,
Major General Shafter and staff and on
the reviewing stand were seated Mayor
Phelan, Brigadier General J. H. Who'll
ley and staff commanding the First
Washington United States vOIunteers),
Governor Shaw and staff of Iowa, Col
onel J. Q. Lopez and staff, Fifty-first
Iowa United States volunteers. Re
grets at not being able to be present
were sent by Admiral Kautz of the
United States flagship Iowa and Brig
adler General F. Funston.
The programme opened with a band
concert by the United States flagship
Iowa band Julius G. Gomez, band
master) and the Twentieth Kansas
United States volunteers band CE C.
Strickland, chief musician), and at
o'clock the Kansas volunteers under
calf, made their entry. At dress parade
the whole audience Joined in singing
America" led by the bands and then
came the march and countermarch in
review.
When the regiment had completed
It's evolutiOns and was drawn UP before
the reviewing stand Henry ]. Mccoy,
secretary of the Young Mems Christian
ASSOCIATION, introduced Mayor Phelan.
who delivered a brief address. in which
he spoke Of the high regard entertain
ed by the citizens of this community
for the members of the Kansas regi-
ment.
The regiment was then dismissed
and gathered in the dining room. where
an Informal reception to the officers
and men took place. A collation. was
served by the mothers club of the as
sociation-Mrs. c. B. Wright, chairman:
Mrs II. A HILL vice chairman: Miss
Florence T. Perkins, secretary; Mrs. T.
c. Pedlar, treasurer
a promenade concert concluded the
evenings festivities, the Iowa's band
and the Kansas band alternating in
playing the musical selections. and a
number of the guests and soldiers
availed themselves of the opportunity
to indulge in dancing
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-11-02
''LET'S SWIM. -

by Donald Dean.1
Haven't yer heard O. Funston
And his thousand Demon" men,
How they crossed the Bagbag river
There were several less n ten.
They didn't wait for transports
Err fer engineers ter plan
A pontOOn bridge or ferry
But swan it-every man.
It didn't take no orders,
Fer Fred, he JeS' yelled out,
Il want someone ter volunteer
To put them nigs ter rOut."
He didn't wait fer answers,
But through the jungle crashed,
Owed in and swan the river
While the MauSerS round him SplaShed.
The 'Pinos kept er shootin'
AS fast as they could pump,
But that little squad O. Kansans
Jist took the cue and jumped,
The nigs they couldn't stop EN-,
Those JayhaWk boys hes sand,
A thousand 'PfnOS routed
By that little Kansas band.
Fred amt no red tape warrior,
But I'd rather follow him
Than these ere white duck fellows
With theories chuck to brim.
He didn't want no strategistS
To view the ground fer him;
He jist spread out his fingers,
Meaning schoolboy-Hke, Lets swim"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-11-02
THE KANSAS VOLUNTEERS

ARTHUR Guiterman, in N. z. Times
Oh, Kansas is the country,
Under Plenty's teeming horn,
Where they raise the finest apples
And they raise the finest corn;
And the people raise Gehenna
And the cyclone raises steers,
But the choicest of her raiSin'S
Are the Kansas volunteers.
Though the tropics may be thirsty
And the heat be fierce as hate,
Still they're nothing to the rigOrS
OF a prohibition state;
And a cyclone or a torrent
Or a Scrimmage has no fears
For the sons of Squatter Sow reignS
Like the Kansas volunteers.
In the face of rebel volleys,
With their rifles on their logs,
Sure they swan the MarilaO
Like a school of Kansas frogs,
Then they crossed the Rio Grande
And they caught 'em by the ears,
Twenty rivers couldn't stop en-
Not the Kansas volunteers.
So we doff our hats to Kansas.
For we know her heart is rights
She has fifty ways of voting,
But a single way to fight.
And her boys have won the hOnorS,
So We'll give them treble cheers;
Three times three for little Funston
And his Kansas volunteers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-11-02
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

LFrom the Chicago News. ]
The surest way to catch a husband is
not to try.
A man usually finds it a hard Job to
get a soft one.
Don't waste your time in regretting
the time you have wasted.
If all the worlds a stage every man
ought to have some sort of a show.
It must have been an Englishman
who said: He who laughs last laughs
best
Too many men and women spend
their time in trying to make trouble for
each other.
All men are born equal, but the ma
jority of them find it easier to slide
than to climb.
The Prohibition party is trying to
reach TIE White House via the water
route.
It takes the average man about three
score and ten years to discover that he
isn't a genius.
AS a rule the saIoonkeeper puts his
money to a much better use than any
of his customers do theirs.
What the country really needs is
some kind of a reform movement that
will not interfere with anybOdy's con-
Venience.
A Massachusetts lunatic imagines he
is the discOverer of the north pole. It
is just possible that he at some time
tried to make love to a Boston girl.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-11-02
GLOBE SIGHTS

TFrom the Atchison GlobeJ
Most things people are compelled to
take have been picked over.''
"A man can get the best of a quarrel
and then hate himself for having it.
After a man satisfies the wolves he
is very apt to deny that they were ever
after him.
When a man has a particularly long
face he usually lengthens it by wear
ing chin Whiskers.
Old age is respectable. but Chauncey
n. DepeW is the first man to claim
that it is enjoyable.
A patent medicine is needed to cure
the patent medicine habit which so
many people have contracted.
When you can always get good butter
at a groceFy store, it is a sign that it
is well conducted. and kept clean.
When q child says a particularly
bright thing, it's mother looks at its
&sher as much as TO say. See how
Eauch you owe my 9amilyP'
Some young women adopt aRecta-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-11-02
STATE JOURNAL EVENING, NOVEMBER
THE NEW NOBILITY.

10y AOnQu1ll-I
I do not care for barons dukes and earls,
They do not sever much CONCEALED hui
Nudity.
I do not like gold lace. perfume and curls,
But-there are things worship with
avidity.
It is the boy who stays behind the gun
Until he makes the other fellow run.
Let's chase old history back into its hole,
Let's organize an up-to-date nobility.
OF dukes and earls, and carry on the roll
Those only who can show US with
That they have got a boy. or more than
one
Down in the Twentieth Kansas with a
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-11-02
FUNSTON'S COMM.

TFrom the Denver Post.1
Harki What means that Jayhawk yell
Sweeping Ger the cOrn-waved ocean?
Why that clang of festal bell?
Listen. and you'll hear the cry
Through the glad air gaily hummin'
TIL it caroms on the, sky:
"Fupston's comm -
Up and down the Arkansaw
Is the air with glad shouts teeming,
In the valley of the kaw,
Where the Smoky Hill is cleaning,
over every Kansas plain
Chick and child and man and Woma
Join in swelling tbs. refrain:
''FunstOn'S comm! %
In that grand old state the cry
Has been one Of joy unceasfngs
Never met a mortal eye
Crops Of magnitude more pleasing,
But the ranchers' bOsoms swell
With an added joy when some 'uu
Starts the now magnetic yell:
'FunStonS comin'!'
Comm with the gallant fleet
Built for land or water fighting,
Human craft who left their feet
When a swim was more inviting!
Men whose deeds have fired the land
Till the air is fairly hummin'
With the cry on every hand:
'Funston'S comm !" ?
Veterans of the oIden war.
Lodged in every fruitful valley,
Are preparing to once more
Mass themselves in rOuSing rally:
Step again in martial way
To the fifin' and the drummin'
As they did in their war-day:
''FunSton'S cominP'
Rouse, We Kansans! Paint the state
Redder than the fiery chasm!
Cut her loose and jubilate
TIL the echoes have a spasml
Roll the patriot wave along,
Set the wheels of welcome hummin'
Till the whole earth hears the song:
"FunStOn's comm %
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-11-02
A Curious Coilocation.

IFrom the Cleveland Plain DeaIer.1
Eth, Philbrick. just heard from your
wife,"
YES"
well, what are you looking so sour
about? Is she coming home?''
mo. It's the way she ends her let
ter. Listen: From your loving wife
dear, and don't forget to wash the dog!'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-11-02

lions with a view of appearing mice .
when they are young, and keep it up
until they are ridiculous when they are
old.
An Atchison man is compelled to
work at night in order to raise the
money to pay for gymnasium suits,
dumb bells, punching bags, etc, in or
der that his children may lack no op-
portunity to develop their muscles, and
grow big and strong.
There are several idle men in Atchi-
son, and they are the terror of the
stOrekeepers. These men, having moth
ing TO do, loaf around the stores, and
the storekeepers do not know how to
get rid of them. We'd rather work than
become a nuisance.
An Atchison man is very fond of
buckwheat cakes, and whenever he
wants any, he invites his wife's brother
to breakfast. The brother likes them,
and his sister cooks them for him. To
get certain kind of pudding, he has
to invite his father-in-law. and for
mince pie, he invites his wife's favor
lite cousin. Other things he likes he gets
in the same way, and being of an hum
bic and lowly nature, he is very CRATE
full that Providence has opened this
way for him to get what he likes with
out fuSSing
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-11-02
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

[From the New York Press.J
Marriage is loves suspenders.
Lots of mems future has been made
by Women's not marrying them.
Bachelor girl' sounds just about as
reasonable as "old-maid man.
A girl generally feels a little ashamed
the first time she ever proposes to a
man, but after that it gets to be kind
Of exciting.
Most women who feel it is their mis-
sion to travel around redeeming the
world, have never been able to get a
family of their own to begin on.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-11-02

When a man has a particularly long
face he usually lengthens it by wear
ing chin whiskers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-11-02

TFrom the Atchison GIobe.J
ost things people are compelled
p have been picked over"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-11-02

Old age is respectable, but Chauncey
Al. Depew is the first man to claim
that it is enjoyable.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-11-02

LFrom the Chicago News. ]
The surest way to catch a husband is
not to try.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-11-02

"A man can get the best of a quarrel
and then hate himself for having it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-11-02

After a man satisfies the wolves he
Is very apt to deny that they were ever
after him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-11-02

A patent medicine is needed to cure
the patent medicine habit which sc
many people have contracted.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-06-13
Dangerous Odt,rs.

Some smells are dangerous. A single
sniff of highly concentrated prussic acid
viii kill a man as qui ekly as a shot
through the heart. The odor of bad
eggds due to the presence of sulphuret-
ed hydrogen, and the Objectionable
perfumes of sewers and bone factories
are attributable chiefly TO the SINE gas.
Chemical laboratories are famous for
bad smells. BerZelius, who discovered
the element called ''selenium, - once
tried the experiment of PER- hitting a
bubble of pure hydrogen selenbde gas TO
ente r his nostril. For days afterward he
was not able TO smell strong ammonia,
the olfactory nerves being temporarily
p, tralyzed. Selenium gas has the odor
of putrid horse radish. Tellnlrium is
even worse. There is a story of'a physi-
CT al whose patient, lady, refused to
ia ke an absolutely necessary rest be-
cat sc she was so fond of being always
on the 90 in society. He gave he. "a pill
con tanning a small quantity of 'telluri-
um, and her breath was affecte by it
to UGH an extent that she was not able
to ppear in public for a month She
newer guessed what the trouble was.
The volatized essential oil of roses Is
supp osed to cause ''rose cold. This
pecul lar complaint is so far nervous in
its character that paper roses sometimes
excite it--Roston Transcript.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-06-13
Told on Kentucky Legislators.

A member of the late legislature from
southern Kentucky was invited one
evening to participate in a Welsh rab-
bit lunch at the Capitol hotel Diking
himself ont, he awaited the hour. With
that prince of good fellows, Tut Bur
man, he walked into the dining room,
where coffee and rabbits We're served
standing After partaking of one or two
and a cup of coffee. he remarked to
Tut: "This is no rabbit. It's nothing
but fried cheese and light bread" 1t
is useless to say that member never at
tended any more lunches.
On another occasion the assembly
balls or germans, which We're given ev-
cry Tuesday night, attracted the atten-
ton of a mountain member, and he
asked, "Whar are all them people goin
that :.re goin up stairs?'' Some one re-
marked up TO the german THE -
You say Do they let the Dutch dance
here?''--Owenton (Ky.) News.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-06-13
A Glorious Sight.

A very amusing mistake was that
discovered by proofreader in work
written by Dean Stanley. The latter
wrote, to use colloquialism familiar
in printing establishments, the "vilest
hand" that ever puzzled the compost
tor. In one chapter the dean was de-
scribing journey to Jerusalem, the
frequent rccurren of the name of the
Holy City causing him to use the con-
traction "Jers" Narrating the approach
of his party to Jerusalem, Dean Stanley
described their ascent up the hills over
looking the city. He pictured in glow
ing language and striking phrases the
effect of the setting sun as it gilded the
hilltops in a golden haze, concluding,
as the compositor put it, in these words,
"And as we slowly turned our faces to
the east our eyes met with the glorious
sight of Jones"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-06-13
ResourcefuI schooIma'am.

An editor IN Nebraska visited the
schoolma am and found her ''hot stuff. "
Here's what he swears to:
''She is the pride of the town, the
star of invention and a jewel of bril-
liancy. She drew a picture of an iceberg
on the blackboard. 1t was so natural
that the thermometer froze up solid.
With rare presence of mind she seized a
crayon and drew fireplace ON the op-
posite wall The prompt action saved
the school. but nearly all the pupils
caught severe cold from the sudden
changes ''-CroOkston (Neb.) Times
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-06-13
T,I r ". NCCLArGuRY

MAJ. X. W. MCCLAUGHRY has re-
signed his position as warden of the
Northern Illinois penitentiary at Joliet
to take charge of the government
prison at Leavenworth, kas. While
ostensibly Warden McLaughry's res
ignation is due to i'll health. and he is
careful to conceal any i'll feeling in
his letter of resignation, there has
been a feeling among the politicians
of Joliet existing ever since the spring
election that change was scheduled
10 take place in the management of
the penitentiary there. Warden Me
Claumhry had 4 son who was an Off
GER in the Sd Illinois and who served
during the Porto Rican campaign
under Col. Bennitt. When the latter
made the race for mayor, Gov. Tanner
brought to bear all the pressure he
could on the employees of the peniten-
tiary and the Illinois and Michigan
canal to work against Bennitt. Mai.
McClaughry refused to work against
the colonel, who was an old personal
friend, and since then the GOODNESS
between the governor and the warden
has not decreased 4 Joliet dispatch
SAYS: The defeat of the appropria-
ton asked 1oI Dy MAJ McCIauShrE
for new cellhouses on account of the
unhealthful condition of the present
ones was 4 great disappointment to
the warden, and he finally decided,
when n good opportunity offered. to
rid him of the unpleasant situation
in which he was placed. These are
the reasons freely circulated among
well informed politicians for Warden
McClaughry' resignation. His sue
cessor is one of Tanners political
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-06-13
John Millions Portrait.

John Millions harmonical and in
geniose soul did lodge in a beautiful
and well proportioned body. He was a
spare man He had abroun (auburn)
ilayre. His complexion exceeding faire
--he was so faire that they called him
"tile lady of Christ's College" OVAL
face His eie adarke gray He had a
delicate timetable voice, and had good
skill His father instructed him He
had au organ in his howse; he played
on that most. OF very cheerful hui
rnour--Eie would be chearf1l even in
his gov te fits, and sing. He'was very
healthy I'D free from all diseases: sell
dome took, any physique, (only some
times he to- ike mamma y only toward his
latter end he was visited with the
gowte, sprimr and fall. He bad a very
good memorie, but L believe that his
excellent method of thinking and dis
posing did much to helpe his memorie.
He pronounced the letter r Qittera
canina) very hard-a certaine sine of
a satyricaH witt. Temperate man, rare
" drank between meales. Extreme
pleasant in his conversation, and at din
ner, supper, etc, Int satyricau. -Au-
brey's ''Eirief Lives !"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-06-13
Mrs. johnson
Saved from
Insanity by
Mrs. Pialkhana

menced to have spells with my spine.
Every month l grew worse and at last
became so bad that 1 found l was
gradually losing my mind
THE doctors treated me for female
troubles, but l got no better. One
doctor told me that would be insane.
1 was advised by a friend to give Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound a
trial, and before had taken all of the
first bottle my neighbors noticed the
change in me.
Il have now taken five bottles and
cannot find words sufficient to praise it.
1 advise every woman who is suffering
from any female weakness to give it a
fair trial. 1 thank you for your good
medicine. Mrs. GERTRUDE NJ. JOHN
son, JoNEsBoRo, TEXAS.