davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-10-07

japanese Who Saw That Every
thing Was Done DecenfIy Be-
fore His Death.

A curious incident is related by the
Japanese papers. Mr.. Kumekawa, of
Kobe, like every other intelligent jap
anese, desired that his funeral should
be attended by ceremonies appropriate
to his rank and social position, and in
order that he might not be disappoint-
ed in this respect, having reached his
seventy-seventh year, and feeling that
his days were numbered, he determined
to have his funeral in advance and
make the arrangements himself. There
fore on the day appointed his relatives
and friends were invited to his house
and gathered around an empty coffin
with all the paraphernalia of mourn
ing and engaged in the most elaborate
Buddhist ceremony that could be de-
vised. Mr.. Kumekawa sat at the head
of the casket and watched with interest
all that was going on.
After the ceremonies at the house
were concluded a procession was
formed, which marched through the
principal streets to the cemetery. Mr..
kumekawa walked in front of his own
coffin. The floral offerings were nu-
merous and beautiful. The Kobe city
band led the procession and played
modern airs, while at intervals were
groups of dancing girls and members
Of the theatrical profession, who per-
formed pantomime allegories to illus
trate the nobility of Mr.. Kumekawa's
character and the loss that was suffered
by the community at his death. just
before reaching the gates of the ceme-
terry the procession was halted and sew
eral photographs were taken. After the
coffin had been lowered into the grave
and covered with floral offerings the
funeral party proceeded to the Jinko
club, where an elaborate feast was
served, and speeches eulogistic of Mr..
Kumekawa were delivered by several
of his friends.
Mr.. Kumekawa was thoroughly sat
isfed with the success of his funeral,
although 1t cost him large sum of
money, and he may now depart in peace,
knowing that all the rites have been
observed, and when he dies it il only
necessary for his family to place his
body in the coffin that lies in the
ground.-Chicago Record.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-10-07
pUNGENr PARAGRAPHS

~Jane has face that draws your at
:ention." Eyes, it's plain to be seen"
cleveland Plain Dealer.
Briggs-'sFl bet Miss Spindle helped
you out when you tried to kiss her."
Griggs-"No, but her father did,
Town Topics.
Take 1t Literally.-"Would you like
to have the world at your feet?" II
have. I'm not standing on my head,
am I?'-PhiIadeIphia Bulletin.
She-"Why is it. wonder, that little
plen SO often marry big women?" He
II don't know, unless it is that the little
fellows are afraid to back out of the en-
gagements. Tit
''The diplocodus which has just been
uncovered in Wyoming" remarked Mr..
Pitt, ''and which will be brought to the
Pittsburgh museum, isan animal which
stood 90 feet high at the hips" "Yes, it
comes high, but we must have il, {" added
Mr.. sPenn.-Pittsburgh Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
"Why don'tyoupeople put your Offices
up at ductioH anu sell tHciii ~ the HiSil-
est bidder?" queried the intelligent for
eigner. Because everybody would
know what was paid for them," said
the native American, always willing to
impart information, land it would have
demoralizing effect on the public
mind Chicago Tribune.
Bobby's Mamma-"Now, mind, Bob
by, if they pass you the cake second
time at the party, you must say: No,
thanks, I've had plenty And don't you
forget it," Hostess (at the partly
wont Bobby have some more cake?"
Bobby (who hasn't forgotten)-"Nope,
thanks. I've had enough, an don't you
fergit it!"-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Eminent Statesman Put these
memoranda into the form of an inter-
view and send it to all the papers. If
it is well received / will interview my
self again, and say that am glad to see
the public agree with me- Private Sec
retary-"But suppose it is not well re-
ceived?" Eminent Statesman-"Then
I will say that haven't seen reporter
for six months. Boston Transcript.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-10-07
A Lesson Of Love
By WIN 8. aidley.

GERALD GORDON, the new school
III superintendent for the town of
Peacedale, was young--that is, com
paratively young-say not more than
30 at the outside, and for some reason
best known to himself, still bachelor.
He was not what would be called a
handsome man exactly, but he was the
possessor of a graceful, well-knit figure,
and clean-cut, self-reliant face, from
which pair of honest gray eyes looked
forth unfiinchingly upon the world.
just now they were looking into q
pair as honest as his own-the troubled
blue eyes of Ethel Ellis, the teacher in
one of Peacedale's half dozen schools.
Il am very sorry, Mr.. Gordon, that
you should have heard such poor re-
ports of my school," she said, looking
the new superintendent frankly in the
face. "Yes, l am very sorry, indeed
and the speakers eyes certainly looked
as If she meant it; in fact, Gerald Cor
don was almost certain he detected a
tear in one of them at that very mo-
ment-"but / don't think it is wholly
my fault.
II have tried hard enough to keep or
der, and If the three or four big boys
who have made all the trouble had a
spark of chivalry or manliness in their
nature l should have no difficulty in
controlling the school; but do you
know, Mr.. Gordon, there are boys who
simply won't behave, and there is moth
Ing in their makeup, no sense of fair
ness or justice, no gentlemanly in
stincts, absolutely nothing to which one
can appeal to induce them to do sop
"You put the case rather strongly.
Miss Ellis" replied the new superin-
tendent, thoughtfully; "but, after all,
there is little doubt that you are right
Such boys are natural-born bullies, and
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-10-07
Wants penn Presents MACK.

A curious case will come before the
Jaw courts shortly. Some weeks ago a
young doctor and girl of 10 put an end
to their lives in one of the suburban ho-
tells of Vienna. Having no money left
they bequeathed their jewelry, which
they described as Imitation" and a
watch and chain specified as of Abyssin-
ian gold to the chambermaid who wait
ed on them. The latter. rot at all de-
lighted with this worthless and III
onened finery. handed il over to one of
her subordinafes. Then followed the
discovery that the trinkets, so far from
being counterfeit. were genuine. and
OF the costliest description, their value
amounting to no less than s 1000. Re-
morse not unnaturaily overlook the
original legatee, VINO had so reckIessl
parted with her bequest, and she has
entered an action against her friend Il,
recover the goods or their worth on the
ground that the gift was made through.
igno'ance.-London Chronicle.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-10-07
REPORTERS HEROIC ACT.
While Dying He Durns His Collection
of Mean Sayings About Great
Public Men.

Clippings are one of the most val.
liable and sometimes one of the mean
est aids to a newspaper man." re-
marked a veteran editor, running his
eye over the mortuary index of the of
flee clippings. $3.50
"A few years ago political reporter
on Chicago paper received his last
assignment. 1t was an order from high
authority for him to cross the River
Styx. He was a man of a great deal of
force, and he knew just where to stick
his pen to run its poison deepest.
Withal, he was good fellow, as news
paper pariahs go, and everybody in the
Office liked him. The managing editor
hurried out TO the dying mans side.
"Rigsby.' said the old reporter, "Ive
been very bad man."
"Oh. no, you haven't the chief as
sured him ".tust like the ordinary run
q IS. lou iiseeI di1leren = v,.cr "a
get better"
But the old political reporter shook
his head.
"Rigsby," he said, you know thar
collection of clippings I've got? 1t cor
tains all the low, mean, damaging
things that have been said about every
prominent politician in the last 25
years. It's the most complete and most
villainous collection of stuff In the
country. It's worth lot of money!
YES said the managing editor.
TITS metn, and it's worth lot of
money"
"Rigsby," the feeble voice went on.
II want you to unlock my desk and
take out those newspaper slips ard
burn them right here before. my ewes.
I'll do that much for humanity, any.
how
Rigsby got out the papers, and he and
the dying man made small bonfire OF
them. and watched it die to ashes. II
was very heroic thing to do Chicago
Inter Ocean.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-10-07

towards as wen. There is nothing that
appeals to them except good thrash.
ing, and you are almost too slender to
attempt anything of that kind"
20, shouldn't think of such thing
Mr.. Gordon. lam too tender-hearted to
punish my pupils. 1t would hurt my
feelings worse than theirs, l am
afraid, and if cannot conquer them by
love | shall have to give up doing SO at
ALL"
"You would have an easy task before
you If were one of your pupils" said
Gerald Gordon, with a glance of adj
miration at the blue eyes before him.
The schoolma'am smiled for the first
time during the interview.
A moment later the girls came hurry
ing in, with faces flushed from their
exercise in the open air, and quietly
took their seats. The majority of the
boys did the same, but bringing up the
rear were half dozen of the larger
boys, scuffiing and showing each othe,.
about, and behaving in anything but an
orderly manner.
They kept 1t up until they were inside
the schoolhouse door, and when the en-
barrassed teacher requested them to
come to order, the one who was evil
IDENTIFY the ringleader sung out: "An
right, ma'am; just as you say!" and
then, reaching out and deliberately up-
setting an empty bench standing few
feet in front of the rest, he staggered
to the back part of the schoolroom and
took his seat.
Peter Crane" said the teacher. quiet
~, you will please walk back here and
pick up the bench that you upset.
But Master Crane, a thick-set. bullet.
headed youth of Is, was very busy with
his books just then, and apparently
failed to hear the teachers command.
Like a flash Gerald Gordon was on his
feet, with flushed face and eyes blazing
with indignation.
"Peter Crane" he began. in firm. even
tones, II am the new superintendent Of
schools for Peacedale, and would Ike
to know If you intend obeying your
teachers request to pick up that bench
which you purposely upset %
Il dunno" muttered Master Crane.
well. know, young mani" ejoined
the new superintendent, briskly. "Yon
are going to pick up that bench, and
you are going to do il inside of one min
ute by the clock or geta thrashing that
You viii have good reason to remember
for the rest of your life!"
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-10-07
Dozen Dsurhter~ for the cx.-

There is an idea among some mem
bers OF the Russian court that the car
may despair Of an heir male. 1t in
even reported that the dowager en-
press said TO her son ON the occasion of
the birth OF his third child: "This il
only quarter of the dozen daughters
she will give YOU" an observation
which might well have been treason on
the lips Of less exalted parsonage
Laz.aan Leader.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-10-07

"A general who was conducting a war in Z
distant island wrote to the agricultural de.
partment of his government to ship him =
ton OF acorns. When asked what be n.
tended to do with them he replied:
There il no shade in our trenches. and
the troops suffer from heat A growth Of
large oaks will add much to the comfort
of the men in the firing line"
He would have said more, but his atten.
ton was arrested by burst Of song from
. neighboring jungle.
"Ah, he sighed, "that il a round robins
And he walked sadly away.-San Fran
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-10-07

"Oh, dear! I'd give anything if were
only mani"
just then quick step crossed the
threshold and CHEEKY voice sung out:
''Fie, fie, Miss Ellis, what wish that
is! But, of course, you don't mean it,
"Of course do, though ] didn't in
tend you to hear me, Mr.. Gordon" re-
sponded Miss Ellis, blushing wildly as
she turned toward the speaker. "I'm
sick and tired of being only woman"
'Why, wouldn't have you anything
else for the world!' exclaimed Gerald
Gordon, moving step nearer and ear
nestly gazing down at the troubled face
before him. 'Only a woman. you say.
but to me you are the dearest, sweetest
and best little woman in the whole
world, and need you just as you are
A few moments later: is they were
walking slowly homeward side by side,
she glanced shyly up at the stalwart
lover upon whose arm she was leanir~
and said:
"A dreadful suspicion has just come
into my mind, Gerald. 1 believe YOU
proposed to me out of pity, because
because I'm failure as school-teach-
er, and, if SO, wish to revise my an
swer. 1t is love l want, not pity
why, dearest, didn't l tell you that
the committee reelected you for anoth-
er term at their meeting last night?,
exclaimed Gordon, smilingly. 'Tmeant
to, but more pressing news got ahead
of it. You received a unanimous re-
election, but / took the liberty of de-
Ginning for you on the ground that you
were about to accept private school,
with more tractable pupil"
why, Gerald! How dare Won tell
them that, when you hadn't even asked
me yet? I'm almost tempted to punish
you for your temerity by--by--r
''What, dearest?"
Making yon wait whole month
longer before I marry you."--BostoD |
Globe,
The Republican., 1899-06-15
GLEANINGS.

Too many men are like the one in
Maine, who said he was in favor of the
Maine law, but ''agin" its execution
The Crusader.
In England new inebriates' act
goes into effect January 1. The law
provides for the commitment of hab-
itual drunkards for any period up to
three years.
Some men will spend ten dollars in
a low saloon for drink, but when the
wife wants a nickel to get puny baby
some milk she gets kicked out of doors.
The Cornerstone.
Beer tabloids are about to be put on
the market by German firm. A small
tablet dropped into a glass of water
will turn it into beer as fresh as if Just
drawn, it is asserted.
Cold water is the greatest stimulant
known to the medical profession, pos
sessing more lasting power than the
strongest brandy. 1t has been known
to bring the pulse up to 100 from 76
in few minutes time.
Indiana liquor dealers are boasting
that they pay over $1,OO0,OOO annually
in license fees. But they don't tell you
that it is their customers who pay this
large amount and that they are but
agents to pass over the money from
the drinkers to the municipalities
Lever.
An orphan child four years of age
has, through her guardian, sued Mich
igan saloon keeper for $4,000, claim
ing the latter was responsible for the
death of the father, because liquor was
continually furnished the parent by the
to deSist.
The Republican., 1899-06-15
S ! EESs4IaaREllaagee 2 Y
1n'll11@5zl\p7Ea
ALCOHOLISM IN EUROPE.
France and other Countries But
Reaping the Fruits of the Wine
Drinking Habits.

1t is an interesting item of news that
comes just now from Paris by way of
the New York Tribune. The military
commander of Paris, it is said, has or
dered placards to be placed on all the
barracks in that city illustrating the
evil effects of alcohol. These placards,
which are hung everywhere, show on
one side the interior organs of drunk
ard, and on the other those of a tenn
perate man. Beneath is brief ex-
planation of the pathological and moral
effects of the abuse of alcohol. We
learn from another authority that the
minister of public instruction in France
has taken the matter up seriously, and
has appointed a special commission to
inquire as to what is the best wa. ..
bring the dangers of alcohol before the
children in the public and superior
schools in that country. One result
is that a series of recommendation
have been made, among other things,
that suitable handbooks be prepared,
to be used in different classes to in
struct the young on the nature and ef-
fects of alcohol; that regular instruc-
tion be given in the matter, and that
special lectures be delivered by eminent
medical men each year in order to en-
force the lessons. This from a coun-
try where the drinking of alcoholic
liquors, and especially of wine, has been
a universal practice from time imme-
mortal, is highly significant. 1t is only
in line, however, with much other testi-
mony which has come from France dur
ing the past few years showing that
thinking men in that country are be-
ginning to realize the terrible condition
to which centuries of wine drinking
have brought the French people. While
it is still contended by many that wine
drinking is comparatively harmless,
and that the evils complained of in
France have come about through in
diligence in stronger liquors, we doubt
not that if an honest and thorough in
quiry is made it will De found that the
seed for the present fearful harvest has
been sown by the wine drinking habits
of the people. And the same may be
S'lil VI pCl mai Win llo uilIN sal
guzzlement of beer. That country, too,
is alarmed over the ravages of alco-
holism, particularly among its sol
diers. If a remedy is sought for these
evils either in France or Germany, it
can only be found in abstinence both
from wine and beer. Until that con-
clusiOn is arrived at in both countries,
all government Investigations and rel
strictions will be in vain. Light wires
and some kinds OF beer may be com
paratively harmless in themselves
when used in moderation, but that they
develop an appetite for stronger drinks,
and tend inevitably to intemperance in
its worst and most destructive forms,
there can be no manner of doubt
Christian Work.
The Republican., 1899-06-15
THE BLANKVILLE D. A. r.
Difficult Problem Was Presented
to the Club, But 1t Was Solved
All Right.

"I have here" announced the secretary
of the Blankville Daughters of the Ameri-
can Revolution, "a note from Mrs. Foraigne,
in which she applies for membership"
CONSERVATION was at once plainly de-
picted upon the countenances of the
daughters.
dear me, dear me, how dreadfully em.
barrassing" murmured the lady regent.
"She entertains so delightfully."-" sighed
a daughter.
And so often, added another.
"And is so helpful in church work" con.
tinued third.
And in everything we get up" said
fourth.
eve really cannot offend her 1t would
never, never do" chorused several decid-
edly.
''But what on earth can we do?" asked
the secretary hopelessly.
''If it were only ourselves we could ad-
nit her." said the lady regent, tearfully.
But we never could make the board OF
regents understand"
"Why isn't she eligibe?" asked the Wis.
iting daughter.
Because she is an English girl Jim For.
aigne married when he was in London" ex-
claimed a number together. But she's
most charming and helpful woman"
Il really do not see what we can do"
moaned the lady regent, despairingly. I'VE
can't offend her, not on any account; and
we can't admit her; under our rule it ut.
terly impossible"
Il have it." exclaimed the secretary.
with exultation. "We'll disband, and then
we'll organize ourselves into a progressive
euchere club. She can belong to that"
20" cried the rest, unanimously, you
clever, clever grill"
And it was thus arranged-N. Y. Journal
The Republican., 1899-06-15
Deadly Pnre Wnter.

AS visitors to Wildbad-Gastein NAV
remember, there is a spring at that wa
tering place which enjoys the unenvi-
able title of ''The Poisoned Fountain" :"
Though the fluid it supplies is clear and
sparkling, and science can detect in it
neither microbes nor deleterious miner
ais, the effects produced on rash or ig-
norant drinkers are highly unpleasant.
A few drafts produce decided symp-
toms of gastric catarrh, ard further in
diligence may lead to -arious ill
ness, and even to death. Prof. Koeppe
has now vouchsafed the explanation
that the water is dangerous simply be-
cause it is too pure. Unless previously
saturated to a certain point with min
eral or organic matter, water attracts
to itself the salts contained in the cells
of the mucous membrane, and this lat
ter suffers deterioration, resulting in
infiammatory mischief. This is why it
is unsafe to drink the rills that trickle
from IL snowfield or a glacier.-London
Chronicle.
The Republican., 1899-06-15
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.

Fully Recoyered.-"Has your hus-
band fully recovered from his army eX-
perience?" 'Oh, quite. He finds fault
with the victuals every day now. Gin
cinnati Enquirer.
Mrs. Tilford-''It must have taken
Daniel Webster long time to compile
the dictionary, don't you think so?"
Daniel? You mean Noah,
don't you?" Mrs. TiIford-''Now don't
be silly. Noah built the ark. Brook
lyn Life.
Mrs. Motherly-'Why is it, George,
that you have never thought seriously
Of getting marred?" George-"Nou
misunderstood me, Mrs. Motherly; L
have always thought of it so seriously
that | am still a bachelor. r.'-Somervill
Journal.
"Gentlemen, this is one of the most
dangerous experiments known to sci
ence. The slightest mishap and the ex-
perimenter will be blown to atoms. l
will now step into the closet while my
assistant performs the experiment. =
Princeton Tiger.
Mabel-"Are you going to return the
poor fellows ring?" Florence (who has
just broken her engagement) - Il
haven't decided. l suppose he'll propose
to you now, and thought I'd just hand
it over to you to save bother. ."-Phila-
delphia North American.
You can't place any dependence on
a woman's word" moodily remarked
the young man who had been Tilted.
"Of course you don't believe that?"
"Oh, yes, | do" said the married man,
my wife has been threatening to leave
me for ten years. boston Transcript
Satisfactory Result.-They met at
the crossroads and pulled up their teams
for a talk. well, JOSH said the first
farmer, as he took wisp of straw from
between his teeth, Il hear some eastern
chaps have been diggin' fer gold on
your place. What do You git out of it ?"
81 git, said the second farmer, "a darn
good well. Wall Street Topics.
The Republican., 1899-06-15

bitter experience-there's fascination
about liquor that it takes a strong will
to resist after the first taste of it, some
times. Take the first drink, and the
way of the drunkard is open before you.
Only those who let liquor entirely alone
are safe. l know, for I've been drunk
ard a good many years. l expect to
be one till die. l began by taking
drink just as you propose to-'fOr fun
but l didn't stop there, you see. Take
the advice of poor old wreck-and
that is, never take the first drink"
You're right" said the boy who had
proposed to visit the saloon. Il thank
you for your good advice, sir. | say,
Tom, let's promise each other never
to take the first drink
''All right" said Tom, and the boys
clasped hands on their pledge.
That's a good temperance society
to belong to-" said the old man. Il
wish I'd joined one like it when was
boy."--Eben E. Rexford.