Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1899-08-17
rNIALs or TINE BEsT MAN.
Calming the AGitated bridegroom U
Hardest Task

Hardest Task.
New York SUN.
"This,n said tire bachelor, "has
been my busy week. -
Been going to church,"
Church,"
Eyes Holy Week, you know"
."Oh, yes; to be sure. | forgot about
that. No, L haven't been going to
church. I've been attending to my
duties as best man. I'm init for two
weddings"
Weddings in Holy Week."
mo, of course not. The weddings
arduous duties of my role began ten
STREE! II there wasn't any other
reason, why. I'd never have the cruelty
to ask friend of mine to go through
the troubles of best man. I've been
through them too often myself. In the
first place, they"--
"Who?"
'Oh. the individuals, commonly re-
ferred to as the happy man.. Happy!
You never saw such good imitation
OF blue funk as bridegroom to-be can
give during his last week OF bachelor.
hood. His mental and moral teeth are
all of a chatter, and he clines to his
best man like a prisoner to his last
hope. I've jollied a dozen of them
through that interesting period, and
| I've seen good, sensible, hard headed b
| fellows go clean daft before they got
| through. I'll never forget one chap.
| The wedding was to be at ~ O'Clock,
and, of course, we were out in the
| vestry quarter of an hour ahead Of
time, so as to be sure to be ready.
That is ono advantage the man has.
He can drive there with lesurely
margin to spare; but the bride has to
time her trip so as to get to the front
door as neary as possible on the stroke
of the hour. Of course, she doesn't
want to wait around the vestibule, so
she is generally at least few minutes
late.
But, bless you, the bridegroom
never thinks of that He just walks
holes in the vestry carpet. eats the
ends off his glove fingers and bullyrags
the long-suffering best man. This par
ticular chap began to fume about five
minutes before u o'clock. At three
When his watch showed tine very
hour he began saying things.
g She amt coming" he snapped
out, - won't wait.
g Go way with you! y / said. Did
you think she was SO anxious to have
you that she'd come down here at day.
break to be sure to be on tlme?''
But it's past the time now, he
protested, showing me his watch,
which indicated 30 seconds after u
O'Clock. | learned later to get hold Of
the happy mans watch before he went
to the church and turn it back from
five to twenty minutes. according 10
his condition. This time, unhappily,
hadn't done so, and the poor fellow
simply got more frightened with every
tick of his watch. At two minutes
after u he made dive for the door.
al wont wait, he said when
caught him by the arm. | tell you
wont wait to be made laughing stock
Of. Those people in there, jerking his
thumb toward the church, are talking
about it now. l can hear them. They
know she wont come. tell you
wont stay
I" But / tell you she'll be here in a
few minutes. | protested. She's only
a little late.
1 4" Well, then, il she's late, she isn't
worth waiting for anyway. I-she--
He was Just a blethering idiot by
that time, you know. and | simply
restrained him by force for few
minutes until we were notified that
the young lady had arrived. Then
wiped the cold perspiration from his
forehead and from mine. addressed
him in few bracing phrases which
shripeled the paper on the vestry walls,
took him by his arm limp it was as q
rag and steered him into the church.
why, you've no idea OF the number
of snags prospective bridegroom runs
against the week before he is married.
II. never forget the first time one Of
them came to me to be rescued from
the hat problem. Ho had that look OF
) utter despair I've so often seen on
their faces, poor things He looked as
il he was saying:
!" I've put up with everything and
I've been as meek as Christian
martyr, but the worm has turned.
What lie did say was: How do 1
get my bat?'
" HAITI | said
g That's what said, he declared.
How do get my hat? Tell me that,
T" Beg OF borrow it, my dear fellow,
| said, recovering myself and trying to
be facetious. That is the favorite
method of obtaining it. l don't advise
, you to steal one unless you want to do
q comic.opcra act and pass your we'd
] ding eve in the county JAIL
| DON'T get gay he said briefly,
J but tell me how l am to ges my hat
| after the ceremony is over. I've had a
sleepless night over that thing. go
into the church by the back door,
don't |? And / go out by the front
door. Now, how do get my hat when
| go out?' he persisted, his voice get
ting higher. Il can't take it to the
altar with me, and | can't ask to be
, excused after the ceremony SO that |
{ can run back to the vestry and get it,
, What am going to do, | want to
, know
|, We'll now, you know, most people
don't think of those little things until
, they run right up against them, but
. tell you, when bridegroom to-be
{ meets "a problem, even il its one that
wouldn't feaze an infant, he just
. topples back on to his best man and
! howls for help. I've got two of them
on my hands now, and the two of them
] together wont be as happy as shall
l be when their carriage doors have both
i banged shut and they are off on their
7 homogeneous. don't know what ex-
cuse other people lave for that tired
feeling in spring, but the best man at
, an Easter wedding needs no other ex-
cuse.'