The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1899-06-02
FACTS AND FANCIES.

Financial Wonders.-"He think of
paying $4,000 for dog HIN. Think
Of being able to pay $4,000 for Il dog
Puck.
Tommy-''Paw, what do they put wa,
ter in stocks for" Mr.. Figg-''ro soak
the investors with, my SON -Indianapo-
lis Journal.
There is a lady out in California; who
says her husband is an artist in Chicago
lie paints the canvas on the hams ut
the stockyards.
Book Agent-''Is the lady of the house
in?" Cook-"We're all ladies here, yez
moonkey-faced divil! If yez name til
mistress, say so!'-Puck.
LESS than year ago she unused, che
said he would lay down his life for me,
and now he won't put up the window
screens. indianapolis journal.
Miss Ethel-''Music always makes me
feel sad: doesn't it you, Mr. Suds?"
Mr.. S.-"YeS: but like tits awfully
jolly to feel sad, don't y know. Brook
lyn Life.
Even Unto This Day.-Eve-"No let
us think it all over. l have to wear
clothes" Adam (sourly)-"Yes; and the
Datural sequence is that l have to
Workr'-Puck.
"A happy marriage" exclaimed the
1uoN NOuliu, Is IKE Il De0uIlIuI
dream!' Because people go into it
with their eyes shut?" asked the bachelor
girl.-Detroit Journal.
Never marry except for love- my
dear said the elder lady.
never have said the younger lady.
Meanwhile the lake breezes sighed soft
ly.-1ndianapolis Journal.
Edgar, tell me the truth! Is there
any black spot in your life before you
knew me?' "Letitia, I will reveal all;
when | was 10 years old used to piece
quilts. '-Detroit Free Press.
Edith-"Davie, what is love?" Davie-
Il dunno exactly, but it's somethin' yuh
get only once, like the measles. Jimmy
Bludso's brothers got it now, and his pa
and ma have had it and got over it, but
Jimmy says t amt catchin'. Judge.
Mrs. Finnigan-"Bedad, yer hoosbintl
drisses as " he wor flurewalker er a
banker! Phwere is he wur-rkin'?' Mrs
Flannigan-"Shure, he's got an iligant
job in a horseless livery stable, fadin'
air t thin hobo-mobo troocks"-Puck.
A Frank Explanation.-First Citizen
Sir, your watchchain hangs loosely
from the buttonhole. When did you last
Second Citizen-"As turned away
from the pawnbroker's counter" -Jewel-
ers' Weekly.
Married for Money.-Street-Swee
Katy-"Did YOU hear Sewer-Digger
Jake has married Pedler Mary? She's
just won 1925 in the last lottery"
Bootblack Widow Lottie-"You don't
say so! Another marriage for money!"
-Fliegende Blaetter.
Mrs. Jackson-"Speakin' oh your hus-
ban, Mrs. Wimple, did he evan convey
to you dat he done propose to me befo'
he married you?'' Mrs. Wimple-" Deed
he didn't! He was so ashamed ob some
OBJ de fngs he did dat l nevah insisted
upon confession. life.
Mrs. Styles-"I shall never invite Mr..
Funniman to dinner again."
Mr.; styles1"Why not? He is Il very
Mrs. Stylcs-"That's just it. He tells
such funny stories that he makes the
butler laugh. "-Harper's Bazaar.
A Young Diplomat-Charley Ito papa,
who likes to spend the evening ut the
vern)-"Papa, help me with my exam
pie and III tell you something"
Papa-"What will you tell me?"
Charley-"I'll tell you where mamma
hid your boots."-Fliegende Blaetter
MISUNDERSTANDING to the same place
for the summer this year,"
Observation-Disclosures. Last year all my
and I'm in hopes they'll take 'en back
and leave 'em where they got 'em this
year" -Philadelphi North American.
Eyes, that's the bride"
very young, isn't she?"
Nineteen, believe"
''Who are those middle-aged women
with her?'
''Those are her unmarried sisters. She's
chaperoning them."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
aoarIv loves ~ :" mse hin nrds VINO
does not always use them correctly. The
other day. a neighbor complained of in
cessant pain in her back, whereupon the
user Of big words said: would cons