The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1899-07-14
BoNAPARTE's BURDEN.
Much Suffering Sprang from a Name
inflicted by q ThOughtIess Fa-
Their Upon His Son.

81 wasn't born cross-eyed nor club
footed" said the man from Montana,
as he made a vicious bite at the end
of a fresh cigar, land things have gone
fairly we'll with me in a business way,
but yet there is one thing which never
comes up to me that | don't feel like
committing murder. My father named
me Bonaparte. AS a child | was, of
| course, called Bony, but as soon as old
enough to get out into the street the
| boys shortened that to Bones and
Bones I am to this day. I'm telling you
| that no man who is Bill or Joe or Tom
ever gets up in the world beyond a GER
| tain point He may be known as
| good fellow, but your familiarity with
his loses him your respect and you un-
| dervalue him. Let man get nick
name after he has conquered fame and
it helps him, but people are not helping
| Jacks and Jims and Petes to congress
sional hOnors or governorships. That
name of Bones excited ridicule and
contempt. / licked so different kids
for loading it onto me, but it stuck.
[ went to Sunday school and day school
as Bones. | went to college and to
business as Bones. If my name had
been George or Reginald or Harry peo-
pie would have considered that I had
feelings, but as it was any old thing
was all right for Bones. No introduce
ton was considered necessary. Being
named Bones 1 must be good fellow,
and good fellows never stand on cere-
mony. The name kept me back at
school and college, and though 1 fell in
love with a dozen different girls before
I was %, they all gave me the shake on
account of the name.
81 finally packed up and took skip
of thousand miles for the sole purpose
of getting rid of Bones. / simply used
the initial, and after three months I
was way up in the new community.
] opened a store, began to court girl,
and the people insisted that I take the
postmastership. I'd have had it and
probably a wife at the same time, but
for the advent of one of my old ac-
quaintances. He dropped into town
and called me Bones, and it knocked
me into the middle of the last century.
Nobody had any use for man with
such a name. There was no weight, no
dignity to it. 1t would have been all |
right for a Digger Indian or a China |
man, but even the Hanks and Sans |
and Abes scoffed at it. As matter of
fact, it was man known to everybody |
as Snub-Nosed Bill who started the |
move tC freeze me out. In 60 days | |
took another jump and settled down in
a new place. / was almost Immediately |
asked to run for the state senate. had |
accepted, and the campaign lad opened |
with a certainty of my being a winner |
when l was given away again. 1 knew |
how it would be. Within "A hours |
candidate was put up. The local papers |
even tried to make it out that | was |
villain for having played the public.
MY third skip landed me in Montana.
I'm there yet. I'm Bones to every man,
woman and child for a hundred miles |
around. I'm Bones to my cowpuncher
and Bones to every tramp who comes
along, and I'm given the throw-down
for no other reason. For the last
month I've been working political |
racket which was designed to land me
in congress after awhile. It has cost me
a good deal of thought and considerable
money, and this forenoon l was dead
sure of success. But I'd forgotten my
hoodoo, you see. An hour ago I re-
ceived this telegram from one of my
workers. See what he says: No use.
They got on to Bones, and the deal is
of, IN. Y. Sun,