davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-08-12
THROUGH THE TUNNEL

A young couple whose exteriors bore all
of the indescribable, yet tangible, earmarks
that they hadn't been "a young couple,
strictly speaking for any great length of
time, boarded a Washington-bound train at
Baltimore the other afternoon. As usual, of
course, in the cases of young couples whose
general appearance and demeanor cast
them under the awful suspicion of having
only recently been married. these two were
regarded out of the tails Of the eyes of all
the other passengers. They smiled indul-
gently, which seems to be- the approved
kink in these instances. The two well-at-
tired young men in the seat directly in the
rear of that occupied by the young couple
looked with especial indulgence and mild
pity into each others eyes when they both
concluded simultaneously that they were
right astern of a newly spliced pair, but
they made no demonstration other than
this, anG after the exchange Of glances
went on reading their newspapers.
The sensation began when the Baltimore
tunnel was reached, Immediately after the
young man with the girl had brought her
a glass of water. From the seat occupied
by the young couple the sound of cooling
proceeded, followed by male protesations
something like this:
Does 90? And if So how muchy? Does
90 Tub him fOrLy-nine cents worth? Cur
gle) Ard how muchy does him Tub him
angel-birdie? Seven hundred billion dol
lars? More gurgle.) And would him
gel-cakey trade him for a big doggie and
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-08-12
THE JOBSONS' HOMECOMING

When Mr.. Jobson followed Mrs. Jobson
down to oAtlantic City after she had been
there fot few days, she did not care to
puncture the unprecedented mellowness of
his demearor by inquiring Of him in what
shape he had left the Washington home
when he took his hurried departure-what
arrangements he had made about the ice,
the gas, the milk the bakers bread. the
delivery of The Star and SO on. She had
her fears, but diplomacy crowded back her
utterancel of them. 1t was not until they
had almost reached Washington on the
train the other evening that she said any
thing. Iii began to rain pretty hard when
the train pulled out of Baltimore.
do you know" remarked Mrs. Jobson,
amiably, looking out of the window at the
slantfng sheets of rain, Il have never got
out of the habit of worrying dreadfuly
about the windows at home when 1 am
away and 1t begins to rain like this; wheth-
er they are down and the water is not COM
ing in and running the carpets and all that
1t s foolish, of course, especially now, when
l feel perfectly certain that before you
came away you went all over the house
and"
Mrs. Jobson." interrupted Mr.. Jobson,
you can gamble a mottled gray horse and
two-seated wagon that you'll find every
lhfng tightern drum when We get home.
Y gu will please do me the justice to believe
that l think enough of my shack not to
5
ark when l leave it for little brief period.
The house is locked up SO tight, fore and
aft. that it may by this time have turned
into vacuum and gone up in the air like
a balloon; but you can make your mind
easy about its getting wet inside. L cele-
brated my sixth birthday some little time
ago, Mrs. Jobson."
Then they both relapsed into thoughtful
ness couple of minutes later Mr.. job
son slapped his thigh with considerable
force, said by jing! l wonder in a tone
of some anxiety, bit his nails nervously
and then, observing that he under Mrs.
Jobson's eye, gazed solemnly out of the
window.
What is it that you wonder?" inquired
Mrs. Jobson
Thought I'd left my cigar holder behind
at the beach. but I've got 1t in my pocket"
gloomfly replied Mr.. Jobson.
He didn't say anything, and only replied
in monosyllables for the rest of the jour-
ney. 1t was still drizzling drearily when
they walked up the steps of their house.
Mr.. Jobson unlocked the two front doors.
He had trouble in holding the second one
open. SO strong was the drausht from the
rear part of the house. The three windows
Of the back parlor, looking out on the back
yard. were wide open, with the dripping,
warped screens in them. The lace curtains,
limp, yellow and discolored, tapped soggily
in the breeze. The mating, blackened by
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-08-12

Surgie.)
There was no light in the car as the train
went through the tunnel, but coarse brutal
men know how to laugh without any illum-
nation The litter that greeted the be-
ginning of the cooling soon developed into
hOwls and there were calls of "Time!' and
demands for breakaway, and that sort of
thing.
When the train emerged into the light
the young couple both looked as mad as
hornets The bride sat straight up in her
seat and regarded the water-cooler at the
other end of the with stony hatred
The young husband was red-faced and pal
pably on the war path. He turned about
in his seat and faced the young men who
sat directly behind. They were still smiling
but reading their newspapers.
L want to know, and l want to know in
a hurry" said the young husband in a
quiet but exceedingly intense tone. (which
Of you two imbeciles has been making a
damphool of himself at my expense?"
With one voice, and with every appear
ance OF sincerity, both of the young men
dlScialned responsibility, and positively de-
nled That they had opened their heads ex-
cept 10 laugh, while the train was in the
tunnel They succeeded in convincing the
angry young Benedict of their innocence
me young man resumed his seat when his
wife tGgged at his sleeve
Ia like to have hold of the blamed loafer
mat did 1t, all the same" he said savage
ly.
Ventrioloquist who has been giving his per
Torrance at Baltimore resort during the
summer, and who occupied one of the rear
seats in the coach. arose and stretched him
SELF and walked into the smoker with a
Satufninc Ieer on his nliSchieyouS face
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-08-12

A Transform alton.

A hat an a shirt an some overalls,
Them's plenty of clothes fur me
An bite O bread if the hunger calls.
I'm off to be young and free.
I've tended the crops an I've helped EN-
grow
An the cares from my back kin roll;
1 amt any longer the man with the hoe;
I'm the boy with the fishin' pole.
A loaf an fish are all 1 ask
An know that they'll be enough
To tighten the weight of tomorrow's task
An to brighten the road that's rough.
NV heart won't shrivel with envy's glow,
Not ponder on COLDS control
I amt any longer the man with the hoe;
Pm the boy with the fshin' pole.
The jeweled waters are jes' the same
AS when me an my hopes were young;
The birds hain't forgot the way to frame
One note of the songs they sung.
An my nerves will thrill as my line
throw
Straight into the finny shoal;
1 amt any longer the man with the noe;
I'm the boy with the fishin' pole
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-08-12

An Event in His Career.

A bright sunshiny afternoon. and nothing
IN do, Tt will be a long time before MIR.
Dustin Stax forgets that day. "A nice long
walk before dinner, Ell, Tommy" he had said
to the little boy who always looks so helpless
and forlorn and clean when other little boys
are playing in the street. His son fastened
to adjust the elastic cord of his large hat
under the chin which nature had SO benef-
Gently provided for that purpose. The lit
tie fellow hurried along in silence for nearly
half an hour sometimes trying to take long
steps as his father did. and then breaking
into a little run to recover the distance he
had lost Each wished he were little bet
ter acquainted with the other. But Mr..
Stax was a very busy man.
Observing the boys efforts. he changed
his gait so as to suit that of the ambitious
little legs, and was immensely amused at
the proud swing with which Tommy kept
STEP 1t occurred to him that many man
congratulated himself as Tommy was doing
upon a personal success, when the truth Of
the matter was that conditions had merely
adjusted themselves to suit his convenience
"Where'll we go, Tommy he asked sud-
denly, as his mind awakened to the fact
that he was eKpending energy without any
definite object in view-something that he
abhorred as nature abhors a vacuum.
rs II very far to the Zoo?
mot very. If we get tired walking We
But there was no thought of fatigue
There was interest in every turning of the
thoroughfare, in every different tree and in
every sparkling pebble. Tommy said to
himself that his father was better company
than any of the boys, and Mr. Dustin Stax
saw numerous indications that Tommy was
going to be first-rate fellow when he grew
up And they were both very proud
They watched the sedate stork and
laughed as he swung his undulous neck
about and dropped his head with a thwack
upon some impertinent duck who sought to
steal a morsel from under the very nose
of dignity.
Il think ostriches are funnier than
storks, remarked Tommy. "Ostriches," he
added, thoughtfully, can eat anything"
Which reminded his father that they were
hungry. An invitation to patronize a ven
dor of harmless drinks and sugary viands
was promptly accepted. Mr.. Stax went into
one pocket after another, with gathering
dismay on his face. He had on his other
clothes"
Tommy" he said. lit frequently occurs
when an enterprise is to be set on foot that
one man puts in the capital, while the other
put in the experience. Now, have some
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-08-12
willing to Tell.
Indianapolis Journal

From the Indianapolis Journal
Sometimes it is pleasure to answer
questions, even If the questioner may put
them in an unpleasant way:
What do you do for a living7' asked a
lawyer, frowning horribly at a hatchet-
faced young man who was undergoing
cross examination.
81, sir" answered the witness, hastily
diving into his side pocket, lam the agent
for Doctor Korkers celebrated corn and
bunion destroyer. Greatest remedy Of the
age; used by all the crowned heads OF
Europe: never known to fail to remove the
most obstinate corn in less. than twenty
four hours or money eheerfully refund"
Here the court tnterfered
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-08-12

recollection Of having given you a ten-cent
piece yesterday. For my part, I am some
years Older than you. and feel that l can
hold my own in an equal partnership by
contributing my experience"
Tommy without Voicing his deep sus-
plclon that II does not require much eNpe-
rience to eat. made a search. and after
turning all his pockets inside out brought
TO view three pennies. Never was an in
Nestment made with more shrewdness and
caution. ana never was a long homcward
walk more thoroughly enjoyed by two bet
ter fellows
Next day Mr.. Dustin StaN was at "A desk
up to his chin in papers-papers whose
printed FORMS filed out with various styles
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-08-12
NeighbOrIy Charity.
From the Chicago News.

From the Chicago News
Mrs. Dix-"When my husband and I
quarrel we never allow the children to wit
ness It,"
Mrs. Hix-"Why, how in the world do
you manage it?''
Mrs. Dix-"We always send them out of
doors, so they can hear nothing
Mrs. Hix-"Oh, now 1 understand. I've
often wondered why your children were
on the street all the time"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-08-12
Why She Was Anxious.
From Spare Moments.

From Spare Moments
He had been out for days fishing, and
as he proudly displayed the contents of his
basket to his wife she exclaimed:
"Oh, John, aren't they beauties But I've
been so anxious for the last hour, dear"
Foolish little one." said John, caressing-
ly; ''why, what could have happened to
me?'
"Oh, didn't worry about you. love- but
it grew SO late 1 was afraid that before
you got back to town the fish shops would
all be shut"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-08-12
The Horse,x Ontnion.

Toll as you will with your lever and wheel;
Rack your poor brains in the conflict for
fame;
Punish your eyes in a scholarly zeal
To fit this continuance OF yours with
name.
are green
1 nibbie and neigh and my hind legs
toss.
My heart is o'erjoyed and my mind is Sc
rene.
Here's a play day at last. I'm the car
riageless boss.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-08-12

of penmanshlp. might have told some
rather pathetic stories of struggles which
did not win. But they were SO many as
surances of prosperity to Mr. Dugtin StaN.
There were sigma lures TO be made to nu-
merous papers and transactions IN bonds
and certificates of all kinds to be attended
to, and he appeared worried and annoyed
until the clock told that it was time for
lunch. He was too busy to go Just then:
but he smiled and let some documents fan
out of his hand as he looked out Of the win
dow. He was thinking of the only time in
all his life that he had been dead broke.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-08-12
A New Dilemma.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Did l hear you say. conductor, that the
locomotive was at the rear end of the
train?"
Yes, ma'am- We've got a locomotive
at each end. 1t takes an extra one to push
US up the mountain"
Dear, dear, what shall I do! I'm al
ways SO sick If ride with my back to the
locomotivei'
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-08-12
A Plants Peculiar Effects.

A curious plant" said an eminent bot
anlst to the writer day or two ago. lis
the wild tamarind or junbai plant Of the
riverside and waste places of tropical Amer
lea, and very strange are its effects upon
tho non-rum!nant animals that feed upon
It's young shoots, leaves, pods and seeds 1t
causes horses 10 lose the hair from their
names and tails has a similar effect upon
mules and donkeys, and reduces pigs to
complete nakednesS. Horses are said to re-
cover when fed exclusively on corn and
grass but the new hair is of different color
and texture from the old, so that the animal
Is never quite the same as it was. One ami
NAL. OF which [ personally knew, after feed
ing on the plant lost its hoofs and had to
be kept in sings until they grew and hard
ened again. Rumirart animals are not thus
affected. and the growth of the plant is
actually encouraged In the Bahamas as a
fodder plant for cattle. sheep and goats.
The difference in its action upon ruminants
and nOn-ruminants is probably due to
changes effected upon it in the chewing of
the cud."
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-08-12
An Explanation.

| From the Chicago News.
1T strikes me this ice water is dirty"
said a Cincinnati hotel guest.
"Hully gee" exclaimed the bellboy, as ne
looked in the pitcher, II betcher de porter
forgot ter wash it"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-08-12
Much Safer,

From the Ohio State journal
Brown-'I don't believe would fancy go-
ing with a party in search of the north
pole
Jones-"No; would feel safer with re-
lief expedition. They sometimes get back"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-08-12

She-'What a little mouth your young
friend has, 1t doesn't look large enough to
hold tongue
He-"It doesn't. "-Tit-Bits
Daily camera., 1899-03-09

ments are partly due to the circum-
stance that outdoor sport is carried on
with great zeal in the United States
Polo. football, athletic exercise in run
Ming, walking, and jumping, tennis,
bicycling, rowing, ETC., are excellent
preparations for military service, be-
cause they harden the body and
strengthen self-confidence. And if the
volunteers further know how to han
die their guns and are good marksmen,
which is also included among the
sports, they have very nearly all the
qualities which the Americans require
of their soldiers"
When this report reaches the emper
OF it will add to the appreciation which
he expressed to an American at Kiel
four years ago of the athletic sports
practiced by the young men of the
United States, particularly of baseball,
which he said brought into activity all
the various sorts of physical agility
which his people seemed to need.
Daily camera., 1899-03-09
Linc0ln's Superstition.

Lincoln, with all his intellectual
stability, was haunted by one or two
little superstitions which he was never
able to shake Off One of his strange
beliefs in occult influences was the
conviction Of his own untimely and
tragic death. In the year 1854 on the
lay of his denomination at Baltimore,
Lincoln was at the war department,
wiring Gen. Grant at Richmond.
A telegram arrived at the White
House informing Lincoln of his re-
nomination as president. Instead of
stopping to read the message he hur-
ried home for a hasty lunch.
On returning to the war department
he was handed dispatch telling of
the nomination Of Andrew Jackson for
the vice presidency.
Il thought it was customary" he
said, with some surprise, ITO nominate
the president frst"'
He was told Of the first telegram.
Then, with no apparent reason, he
suddenly exclaimed: 'I'N never live
through my second term. That be-
longs to Johnson. at least the best
part of it,"
Daily camera., 1899-03-09
Miss Wizards Childhood.

What sort of looking baby was
Frances Elizabeth anyhow asked an
interested friend of Madam Willard.
Very pretty, with sunny hair, blue
eyes, delicate features and fair com
plexion. She was called the doll-baby
of the village
Was she / ought up by hand?"
Yes, she was a bottle baby, or one
brought up by hand, but | ought to
add for her present regulations sake,
she had no affinity for the bottle-put-
ting it away when ten months old,
with no regret. She always slept with
both hands on my face She was
very affectionate little creature. She
could talk some time before she could
walk, speaking quite wisely at four
teen months, but not walking until
twenty-four months ole. AS a little
girl she was very confiding and fond
of her childish friends.
Her father used to say when walk
ing to and fro with her at night, 4
declare, this young one ought to
amount to something, she gives trouble
enough
'She dearly loved her brother Oliver
and her sister Mary. They were very
much to one another always. She was
mentally precocious, but physically
delicate beyond any other of my chill
dren. She was inventive and original
in her amusements. She early mani
tested fondness for books. She be-
lieved in herself and in her teachers.
When she was two years old we
removed from Churchville to Oberlin,
O. l held Frank all the way. 1t was
tiresome journey, for we went by
carriage. She often put her little arms
around my neck, laid her head upon
my shoulder and said, Mamma, sissy's
dress aches!' 1t rejoices me to be-
lieye that she intuitively recognized
the fact that it is not ones real self
that is ever tired, but only this dress
of mortality that aches sometimes
She used to see the students re-
hearsing their speeches and would get
UP an amusing imitation of them, when
eut three years old. Many a time |
I:>ye seen her standing on the well
curb or on top of the gate post imitat-
.ng the gestures of some bright young
cphomore who stood there, laying it
off for her amusement"
The first religious teaching that l
aa2 call to mind" says Miss Willard
Lersef, lis the learning Of that sweet
.rayer of every little child: Now |
a.. me down to sleep.
My first appearance on the stage
vas in Oberlin, o.. at the age of l..ree
~ four, when my father used to stand
me up on a chair and have me sing
Tor guests in my queer little voice,
especially after a dinner AS remem-
ber, the song was always this:
They called me blue-eyed Mary
When friends and fortune smiled"
Daily camera., 1899-03-09
Too Polite for Him.

A brave, active, intelligent terrier
one day discovered a monkey belong
ing to an intinerant organ-grinder
seated upon a bank within the grounds
and at once made a dash toward him.
The monkey, who was attired in a
jacket and hat, awaited the onset with
such undisturbed tranquility that the
dog halted within a few feet of him to
reconnoitre.
Both animals took long, steady
stare at each other, but the dog evil
IDENTIFY was recovering from his sur
prise, and about to make spring for
the intruder. At this critical juncture
the monkey, who had remained per-
fectly quiet hitherto, raised his paw,
and gracefully saluted by raising his
hat.
The effect was magical; the dogs
head and tail dropped and he sneaked
off and entered the house, refusing to
leave it till he was satisfied that his
polite but mysterious guest had de-
parted. His whole demeanor showed
plainly that he felt the monkey was
"uncanny;' and not to be meddled
with.
Daily camera., 1899-03-09
The Great Bomb a rd m ent.

The regions of space beyond our
planet are filled with flying fragments,
says Popular Science Monthly. Some
meet the earth in its onward rush;
others, having attained inconceivable
velocity, overtake and crash into the
whirling sphere the loud detonation
and ominous glare, finding destruction
in its molecular armor, or perhaps
richocheting from it again into the un-
known. Some come singly, vagrant
fragments from the infinity Of space;
others fall in showers like golden rain;
all constituting a bOmbardment ap-
palling in it's magnitude. 1t has been
estimated that every twenty-four
hours the earth or it's atmosphere is
struck by 4OO,OOO,0OO missiles of iron
or sto, lnging from an ounce up to
tons light. Every month there
rush U le flying globe at least 12,
000,000,vy- ron and stone fragments,
which, with lurid accompaniment,
crash into the circumambient atmos-
phere.
Owing to the resistance offered by
the air, few of these solid shots strike
the earth. They move out of space
with a possible velocity of thirty or
forty miles per second, and, like moths,
plunge into the revolving globe, lured
to their destruction by its fatal attrac-
ton. The moment they enter our at
mosphere they ignite; the air is piled
up and compressed ahead of them
with inconceivable force, the resultant
friction producing an immediate rise
in temperature, and the shooting star,
the meteor of popular parlance, is the
result
Daily camera., 1899-03-09
The X-Ray In Warfare.

1t was long ago anticipated that Pro-
fessor Roentgen's marvellous discov-
cry of those invisible rays-which will
easily penetrate certain substances,
while they are obstructed by others
would prove of signal value in the
hands of army surgeons. For the ex-
act situation Of bullets or fragments Of
metal in the flesh can he easily detect
ed; indeed, such metallic bodies can be
seen by interposing between the eye
and the wounded part a fluorescent
screen. In this case authorization has
been justified, and now every body OF
troops on active service carries the
X-rays apparatus as part of its neces-
sary equipment. Surgeon-Major Bee
vor, of the British army, recently gave
at a lecture most interesting account
Of his work with the apparatus during
the Afridi campaign on the north
western frontier of India, and spoke
most highly of its merits. The Afridis
are brave and warlike race, but they
are not very particular as to the mis-
ollSo w hiSh lASy dSdluol OUpOu-
ents, provided those missiles are hard
and heavy. When bullets run short
they use bits of telegraph wire, nails,
stones, or anything that may be at
hand; and, in consequence of this Gus
tom, the wounds received by the Brit
lsh troops were Of the most varied
kind and of great interest from sur
gical point Of view. Small fragments
of metal which set up grievous infam-
nation, and in some cases of blood
poisoning, with every prospect of
fatal termination, were detected by the
useful and removed In many
q case life was thus saved which must
have been sacrificed in the absence of
such detector. Many Of the surgeon
majors patients were treated at the
front and under fire.