The times., 1899-09-24

! DOlDOn Is LONDON as large as tOnStan-
tinople?" Why don't you wish to be mar
: rledg Should you say the boy was
twelve?" What 90 you do when you are il
the house if you don't smoker" Would
| you imagine that the first wife is as old as
yourseif?" (The decrepit old woman. only
thirty-one!) Was l not a professor" Had
! ever heard of Indigestion They seemed
at last really pleased by my having heard
-of indigestioni" Gould | tell them of
cure?" l fear my answer, Eat no sweets
take great deal of exercise" not only an
noysd. but also offended them. Apparently
professor and doctor were with them syn
onymous. My visitors now piled me with
I questions regarding ailments. These que
ries fell as fast as the Cireassian could
frame them. And now l began TO feel thai
being bored was not the worst possible in
Fiction.
Two stricken hours by the timepiece or
the console table since the party had enter
ed the room and no earthly reason why two
more should not dreariiy elapse before the
thought of moving should enter their heads
jumped to my feet and unrolled Bessie's
embroidery before them. 1t did not in
terest them. They asked languidly why my
cousin did it herself. She could pay some
one TO make a much more elaborate pat
term
To staye off the subject of disease eud-
I geIled my brains again for something to
say, but / felt numbIy stupid.
Suddenly the interpreter said, pointing
to the first wife: ''She wants to know IS
you are a learned lady, why we had that
wonderful snow last week. Why had we
not rain?'
Here was topic like breath of fresh
air. / know can give a nice little me-
neurological lecture. Have / not made
meteorology interesting TO the tiny chill
] dren at home? Why should / not amuse
adults and a boy of twelve? Aiack, no.
| The bride pointed here anG there about
/ the room, and clanored for explanations
/ to the nterpreter-through whom the
meteOrology was being flteredl The Sec
ond wife looked more wan and weary than
ever. The boy drifted away 10 the bal
cony, and the old woman (my contempor-
aryl wrinkled her brows in the painful ef-
fort to follow the Circassian's translation
| of my phrases. / ended, and a heavy ST.
lence fell upon US all.
a maid brought in cigarettes. The
| wives" said they would only smoke a
| little as / dislike tobacco. That was real
ly thoughtful, and 1 felt grateful 1
heartily wished that 1 could make some
pleasant conversational return for their
J forhearance.
Afterward Bessie comforted me by say
/ ing that the guests were not bored, were
even then enjoying themselves. But at
! the time l felt that my own sufferings
were measure of theirs.
After q silence came another question:
AS you are a learned lady, can you tell
US why the rain rarely (if ever goes up
toward the sky, whereas the snow went
up and down the other day?"
| / threw myself with enthusiasm into the
| task of answering. But the result was no
happier. They discussed my reply In
their hands around and around, as some
people use their hands inside muff, and
In a way certainly that could not have any
reference 10 rain or snow. Perhaps they
were saying my explanations were in
yolved. Probably that was true enough OF
them, as translated by the pretty, uncom-
pretending Circassian. However, / shall
never know.
How longed that Bessie might walk In
and create a diversionI
The clock chimed 6. These people had
remained three hours. Would they never
go?
AS you are learned lady" came the
now established preamble. "can you tell
US why a good tooth sometimes aches?"
/ began: -Sweetmeats"-but fearing
TO drift into inhospitable discourse just as
Bessies maid was bringing a tray with
tiny glass plates on each of which was
spoonful of roseIeaf conserve. | FASTENED
10 add: 81 have remembered something.
It is quite new; a London toy! Bessie's lit
tie boys grandmother sent it
While the guests disposed of conserve
and sherbet l ran off to find the mechanical
bear who danced and beat drum, winding
him up as ] returned to the drawing room.
] confess that l wound him up slowly, it
was such relief to be away from the
company
/ had no sooner set him upon the floor
than his dance began The bride uttered
piercing shrek; the boy squealed like a
wild animal; the fat, Emphatic second wife
went into Mysteries; the Circassian also
screamed, jumping about and the first wife
iabbered in evident terror, clutching her
boy.
She says it is the devil" walled the in
terpreter. shrilly, above the general din.
AT the moment the bear beat the first
sharp roll on the drum. The elder woman
finging some of her draperies about her
son, tumbled toward the door, rushed
through the anteroom and came plump up
on my cousins butlerl without the yack-
mashi According TO old Turkish usage,
the encounter might have meant a loaded
sack and a descent into the Bosphorus for
her.)
The bride fed. clinging TO the interpre-
ter to the furthest corner of the drawing
! together The second wife. now violently
| hysterical. claimed my first care. After /
had Gained her somewhat / caught up the
bear drummer and put him out of sight
| Then those in the drawing-room took
heart TO move into the anteroom, where
| the first wife was already getting into her
extinguisher.
Nothing / could say Through the Cir
| cassian) could tranquilize them. Their
ponderous coach was waiting below. In
/ less time than ! thought possible the long
| train of the brides ball Dress the cut vel
vets of the chief wife and the shabby fin
/ cry of the second were rolled into big
bundles on the plan adopted by bathing
women. who wade and dip he children
or our shores in summer. and then my
guests waddled and rolled rapidly out OF
the house.
When the carriage had rumbled away I
fell in great agitation upon the bear.
/ apostrophizing him: "Oh, you terrible
/ little hendl Oh. you dear, dear darling
delivereri"
/ hugged and kissed him.
alone already" exclaimed Bessie an
| hour later. II hurried back from the most
charming garden party that ever was On
purpose to help you with your harem!''-
/ Travel.