Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1899-12-26
WHERE IS WILLIAM?
The Administration Wizard Is not At
tending Strictly to Business.

tending Strictly to Business.
1t behooves tie dig medicine man
in the White House to begin ham,
mering his gong and thus scare away
the evil spirits who are playing the
dickens with stocks and grain. A
prosperity maker can't afford to take
even day off. He must keep the
wheels whizzing without even mo
ments respite or he is likely to share
the fate of Papuan idol which is
worshiped and admired during pros
porous times, but which is inconti-
nently pulled down and kicked out of
doors the moment misfortune begins
to arrive. A joss must keep up his
reputation or get into trouble. The
Canton wonder worker must get
down to business.
Since the fourth day of March, 1897
we have been assured that good crops
in Dakota and poor crops in India,
rain in the United States and drouth
IL AUNSolo "OlO uUll1ouGCu W
the thaumaturgic powers of the in
spired one in the WhiteHouse. aLook
at the harvests!" we are told. "Did
you ever see anything like them un
der a Democratic administration?
Look at the prosperity that is break
ing out like a rash over the land? Do
1nnnnr lD11hf W;l1;,
is indeed the legitimate successor of
Moses-that he will lead you into a
land flowing with milk and honey?"
And il anyone dare to intimate that
there are people wne are not enjoy
ing milk and honey three times day
the answer always comes: "You I'm
grateful scoundreI, look at Wall
street! Look at the price of stocks!
Can't you get along without milk and
honey when you see that stocks are
booming? Don't talk about your
pitiful necessities when you can see
that the sugar trust advanced five
points yesterday. Go to. Watt
street is the nerve center OF the
country. If 1t is prospecting, you are
prospecting. If you say you are not
you're liar. At any rate you're Il
Democrat, which ID worse"
But here we SEQ Wall street itself
in trouble. Stocks tumble and III
sympathy Herewith grain tumbles.
In the House OF Representatives Hon
Joseph Dolliver burns incense before
the Canton joss-calls upon the whole
world to fall down and worship him
as the greatest wonder worker that
ever came up the pike-and at that
very moment the holy of holes is III
a panic--Wall street is eaten up by
the bears as were the bad little boys
who jeered at the bald head of the
prophet. STOCKS go off 5, 10. and %
points and wheat comes tum bling af
ter. Wild eyed men run from bank
to bank only to be cast into outer
darkness when they ask for loans on
gilt edge securities. London call for
gold and there is no gold. The devil
is to pay and there is not even any
pitch hot. Where Is the joss and
what is he doing at this time of stress
and trial? Why is he not making
medicine, beating his gong and pro-
nouncing exorcisms and against the
evil genii who are puncturing pros
perity's tire? Where is william the
Wizard? Where is he?
These are momentous questions.
They require immediate answer. For
we repeat that the joss who sleeps on
duty is in imminent peril. He may be
mighty in all other respects, but il he
can't he relied upon to keep things
booming IN Wall street his tribe is
accursed and his name is Mud. Let
some one kick the soothsayer in the
ribs and give him a tip that there is
h kI,r,