The age-herald., 1899-01-08
ATE FIVE CHRISTMAS DINNERS.
Johnnie Die n't Want to- But Was Afraid
 to Say He'd Had Enough.
From the New York Journal.
 There was Guzzling Jack. And Gorgn Jimmy,

And Gorgng Jimmy, That sailed upon l The sea-ee-ee. -Thackeray. l. But neither of them could hold a candle to Johnny Driscoll, Western Union tee- graph boy, who ate five Christmas dinners Sunday and had to be helped out of the Brooklyn navy yard by a marine. Driscoll | was already fat when he struck the yard. His cheeks were red and roly-poly and his buttons were standing all the strain they could when he went there with a telegram for an officer on the frst-class line of bat tleship Indiana.
 But all ships look alike to Messenger Driscoll. He's so neat and he's tr.g in his Western Union rig, but he doesn't know a cruiser fro a schooner or a brig. So when he laid eyes on the receiving ship Vermont he-heayen help him!-figured out that she was the very battle ship he was after. He went aboard.
 Here's a fellow creature suffering from starvation" cried boatswain's mate, sar- casticall,y. Let's take him down and feed him.
 In van Johnny Driscoll protested that he had just dined and was so full of turkey and pie that he almost feared he'd sink the boat when he came aboard.
 Vast heaving," said the sailor man. grufiiy. No living skellington leaves this craft till he's put his face into the trough Come below and get a square meal for once in your life, me lad.''
 The sailors sat him at table and brought him turkey and plum doff and coffee. Every time he felt Ike stopping the cold eye of the boatswain's mate rested on him and he felt afraid Nothing like eating" beloved the mate. You'll never 1sa nl
 pany if you don't eat" They told Johnny how they sunk Spanish ships, and he atet three pieces of mince pie before he stopped being scared.
 They let him go at last. He couldn't go very fast. He felt lie a big pudding. but even at that he scooted down the gang plank when he heard the roar of the mate who was asking him if he were sure he had enough. By this time he had become a navy yard public character and every one helped him not to find the Indiana. He next got aboard the Newark.
 "Just in time for dinner!" cried a six foot Jack Tar, grabbing him and passing him down into the mess room.
 "Oh," groaned the boy, don't you sailors ever do anything but eat?" The hospitality of the cruiser was thrust upon him. He didn't care to object there were so many guns and cutlasses and marlin spikes lying around.
 cidWlSu up lne COIHpdHlOuWdy, gasp ing for breath "Pick up those buttonsl" said the marine sentry, but Johnny couldn't stoop to do so
 ''Is this the Indiana, mister?" inquired the messenger a few minutes later, as he re- ported aboard the New Orleans. II wasn't the Indiana, but 1t was dinner time, and Johnny had to sit down and eat another meal man with gun paced up and down and frowned at him, and he had to. When he got aboard the Indiana his clothes fitted so tightly that they had to take the tele- gram out of his pocket with shoehorn.
 "Go into the ward room and get some Christmas dinner, boy" said Lieutenant White.
 Please, sir" began Johnny.
 Do as you are told" the officer said, and the messenger did. A fireman carried him off the ship, and he was assisted to his office. Then he begged off.
 'I suppose you want to go home and eat your Christmas dinner," said the manager. well, run along"