Ottumwa semi-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1899-1903, 1899-12-07

u
claim he would adopt my proposal,
feeling certain that the Blessed Virgin
would see him through all right. The
upshot was that they all sat down to
some unearthly Spanish American sort
Of game that never pretended to un-
derstand and presently they were play
ing as quietly as you and would play
if we. had a little game of draw on hand
with unlimited stakes and straight
flush barred.
81 sat at the end of the table smoking
cigar and saying to myself that I was
o born diplomat and had made splen-
did beginning as minister to Torrizonia.
Say what you will of the presidents,
they were gentlemen so far as their
manners went, and nobody could have
been more polite than they were to one
another. By and by old Almonte smiled
sweetly to Garcia and remarked that,
inasmuch as Garcia had revoked or done
something equivalent to revoking, he
was beaten and must consider himself
out of the game.
II never in all my life saw a man
pull his gun quicker than Garcia pulled
his, but. quick as he was, he had got in
only one shot when all the other three
presidents were on their feet and blaz-
ing away promiscuously at one another.
Naturally dropped under the table, for
it would have been contrary to diplo-
matte etiquette for me to take hand
in the shooting. All the same I hated
to be out Of it, for it was one of the
liveliest difficulties I ever struck. It
didn't last over four or five minutes, /
and by the end Of that time all four Of
the six shooters were empty, and all
four presidents were lying on the floor.
Then I got up and called the landlord,
and after we had found that nobody was
killed-though every man had from two
to five bullets in him-I called up the
marines, and they carried the presidents
to the hospital in a sort Of procession.
"My little plan for settling the presi-
Dental dispute hadn't panned out quite
as expected, but it wasn't my fault. I
saw DIR. Moreno after he had examined
the wounded men, and he told me that
they would all recover, though they
would probably have to remain in the
hospital for several weeks. He said that
the government would be carried on in
the name Of President Almonte, the chap
who had occupied the presidential man
sion, until such time as all the four
claimants were discharged from the
hospital.
81 shall take the best of care Of
them and maintain strict neutrality,
said the doctor, and shall recommend
you to do the same hereafter. You've
tried to arrange things without blood
she'd, and you've failed, and now your
best plan is to let those four fellows
fight their quarrel out according to the
laws and customs Of Torrizonia.'
The four presidents lay in the hos
pital exactly six weeks. None of them
was severely wounded, and they might
all have been discharged after ten days
or a fortnight, but the doctor said that
not man should stir until his wound
had entirely healed. went to see the
presidents every day and got to be quite
friendly with the whole gang of them.
found out by their own confessions
that each man was bribing the doctor
to keep the others in the hospital. You
see that if one Of the presidents could
have got out Of the hospital day or
two in advance Of the others he would
have had free field and could have
seized the presidency without any OPP
position.
According to their account, those
four men must have paid the doctor an
average Of $1,000 each in brides, and
each one thought that he was getting
his money 8 worth and stealing march
on his rivals. The doctor, being prac-
teal man, took all the money that was
offered him and earned it honestly by
keeping the men in the hospital. When
ever one Of the presidents complained
that he was being kept in longer than
was necessary the doctor would tell
him that there were certain complica-
tions in his case that made it necessary
for him to remain in bed short time
longer, but at the same time he prom
Used that under no circumstances would
he allow any one Of his rivals to leave
the hospital in advance of him.
sBeing nish-American, with a
native talent for lying in bed, and feel
| ing sure that the doctor would keep his
| word about not letting any of the other
men out Of hospital too early. each
| president was middling we'll satisfied
| with the way things shaped themselves.
| They were all SO sure of the presidency
that they constantly bothered me to
recognize them then and there, but
always put them off by saying that !
had written home for instructions and
selt sure that my government would
direct me to recognize the best man.
Every one of the four told me confident
ly that he was to be discharged three
| days before any Of the others and that
ne expected to seize the presidency and
shoot his rivals the moment they came
out of the hospital.
"About six weeks after my dinner
party / was walked up one morning by
the sound Of rifles. heard what was
clearly volley fred somewhere near
the hotel, followed by three or four
single shots. Then heard the noise OF
heavy wooden shutters being closed in
l. i n L. ~