The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1899-07-05
ter Git nitcned up ter the sKule reacn


the clerk, who WIZ rcd headed IN ugly
az sin, put his mouth in. He sed thct
jes' afore sundown q man kim inter
the store an axed cf thar wuz Ell par
son ennywhere in the deestrict.
"I tole him. sed the clerk, that
thar wuz one over in the BaLct sittle-
ment an showed him the way ter sit
thar, but, bein kinder curious like ter
kno' what the trouble wuz, I axed him
eff sumbody wuz de'd.'
a.No,' he sed, hits not quite so bad
az thet. Ye see, we hey new skule
teacher in the valley, an him IN Coon
Parker's gal are awfully stuck on each
other. Things hev cum ter sich pint
thet nothing will satisfy 'em but ter
git fined tergether, so I'm after Il par
son ter do the j'inin.'
"Then the whole shootin match hoop
ed an hollered like er set Nv crazy lu-
natics. I fined in, but I only LATED
with my mouth an kinder grinned q
leetle tryin ter look pleasant. Bill
King. who he'd bin settin on pile Nv
-four sacks in the corner Nv the room,
got up an slowly sauntered ter the
dore. Az he passed me he winked biz
eve. an I follered him. Whin we got
outside, he led the, way ter an ole gum
log, an we both sot down.
"sWhat yer a-gwine ter do erbout
this thIngY said Bill. 'Ye amt a-gwine
ter set still an let thet Internal dead
beat Nv er skule teacher take yer gal
rite out frum under yer nose, air ye!
"I don't know what ter do, Bill
said I. I'm in er monstrous lot wv
tr'uble an would ruther be de'd than
erlive, but sec no way ter help hit
"I do said Bill, an eff ye will stick
ter me yell git the gal yet
az shore will do thet, pard,' said l.
asWell. ye know the path that leads
over the hill frum Coon Parker's ter
the big road?'
"sYaas.'
".Now, thet is the path what thet
feller travels. You meet ME tomorrow
mite at the big chestnut tree nigh the
top Nv the hill an bring erlong two
plow lines
"sGee whiz, Bill, ye air not a-gwine
ter hang him, air YEP
".Naw, but he deserves hit, tho. I'm
only a-gwine tn teach him lesson
thet he'll ricomember az long az he
lives
sI made q sneak fur home an wint
ter bed. but hit wuz mitey leetle l
slept. Ev'ry time I dozed off I could
see thet plague taxed skule teacher a.
maxim luv ter Nancy. got up whin
ther chickens commenced CROWN fer
day an clim' up on the hill, whar l
sot down On watched Nancy a-milkin
the COW in the lot down at Parker's
house. l wanted ter go tn her so bad
thet wuz ermost crazy, but remem-
bered what Bill he'd said the mite afore
erbout me a-stayin ter hum all day an
not goin nowhar, not even to the sto'.
After awhile clim' back down tile hill
an wint ter my cabin, whar passed
one Nv the most miserable days er man
iyer seed. The sun hadn't more'n
crawled down behind Lavender noun
tin in the wes' thet eyenin afore vuz
on my way ter the chestnut tree. Whln
ariy' thar, found Bill, an with him
wuz Ben Sanders, a pertickler frien'
Nv mine. They had made q dummy
woman by stuffin dress full Ut hay
an tyin moss on her her er head. This
they covered with an old white bonnet.
In the twilight she looked 'zactly lack
er human being.
voices up ther path
"That's them now said I. That's
Nancy an thet feller en- ther way ter
the shindig now. Lay down an keep
quiet till they git by
"When they got opposite ter where
we uns wuz a-hidin, Nancy said:
".I know we'll hav' er Jim dandy time
NV hit ternite an fun world without
end
.srLen thet audacious scoundrel up
an sed:
"'We couldn't help but hev er glori-
Gus time, Miss Nancy, whin sich q
purity gal az y'u iz present
''Thet made me desperate, an eff hit
hadn't bin fer Bill a-holdin Nv me l
would er pounced on ter him quicker
than q chicken on tn June bug.
When they he'd got oute'n site erround
the bend Nv the path, we uns got up
frum whar we wuz a-hidin an went
ter work on the dummy. When we got
hit fixed cep'n putin up, we sauntered
over tn the Parker house an peeped in.
Everything wuz lively inside. Nose
Ely's fiddle wuz er talkin rite out in
meetin fer all hit wu2 worth, an Alb
Burns wuz on the flo a-callin the fig
ures in kinder singsong way:
First four for'ard, hans all roun,
Big pigintoed Joscphus Brown
Balance ter yer partners, sashay all,
Salle en- the new groun, Sallie en- the hall.
"And away they went it, maxim the
dust fairly fly frum the ole board fore.
Fer fear thet we'd be diskivered we
sneaked off up on the side Nv the
mount'in an waited fer the thing ter
break up. Long erbout 2 o'clock we
seed 'em leavin, an 'mong the crowd
thet passed over the hill wuz the teech-
er an Nancy. Az sune az they wuz out
Nv site we struck out over the hill an
got the dummy. Bill cllm' the big
chestnut tree an put one end Of the
rope over er limb an cum down. He
then fastened one end erround Miss
Becky (thet's what Bill named the
dummy. He then stood behind the