Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1899-06-22
Salvation in a Closet.


Sans personality was not unlike a
watermelon. Why? Because it
could not be judged correctly by a
single bite. Any of the young ladies
whose names appeared on his calling
list would eXclaim in a breath Sam
Barton, OF course | know him. He's
that red-headed boy with the large
mouth, but so jolly" and the little
lady who kept an clearinghouse for STU
dents would admit frankly: He has
the biggest appetite | ever heard Of
always here first and waits till the
last. And pie! It's truly wonderful"
while with his college friends it was
simply, Sans all right"
The dormitory which counted among
it's occupants Samuel Barton, '92,
stood directly opposite the great uni
versity library. 1t was a dingy build
ing, with the proverbial rickety stairs
leading through gloomy halls. Gen
erations of feet had ground a path
way along the wooden floors, and gen
erations of jackkniyes had decorated
the walls with initials and various
scraps of college dialect
1t was on the top story-"as high
as he even expected to rise in the
world" said Sam-that our character
domiciled The old door which sep
arated room 80 from the entry was All
authentic record of BartOn's life. Here
could be found fastened to the wood
work bills of all descriptions; en-
treaties to pay; threats of lawsuits;
delicate suggestions. The lower part
was indented with round impressions,
which could have been made by the
toe OF a shoe. One of the panels was
cracked, too. And the whole door
ratified loosely when it was shaken,
as though it had been subjected to
many a rough pressure. Fastened Sc
curely to it by large nails, which
usually tore the clothes OF any unWary
person who loitered too long in that
vicinity, was a sign bearing this
legend: NE beggars or peddlers al
lowed" There was another state
ment written just below this one,
smaller in size, but infinitely more i'm
portant to the citizens and shOpkeep-
ers of the town, which read: Mr.. Bar
ton will be back tomorrow"
On a certain day Sam expected a
visit from his uncle. He sat, de-
jectedly one would say, on a three
legged stool, with his elbows on
table and his red locks firmly grasped
in his hands. A companion in golf
suit lounged comfortably on low
divan and smoked For awhile he
watched Sam closely-perhaps SYM
pathetically-then he removed his
pipe and said:
What train?"
THE 1920" answered Sam.
Sure he'll Gomez
Never fails
What are you going to do?"
Pull down these pictures, tear off
my cigarette collection-spoil my
room"
I'll tell you what to do, SAM" and
the other curled himself complacently
in the midst of a small mountain of
sofa pillows; borrow Toms bookcase
and encyclopedias, take my notebooks,
and put EN- on your desk, get a big
dictionary and lay it open on the table
and make things look busy
That's what I've got to do, Shor-
tie.
And don't you see, when you strike
him for money, you can point to the
pile of notebooks and say-it all goes
there"
Short, you're a brick but that fur
niturei He gave me so last Christ
mas to get some chairs and things,
and there's nothing new in the room
except the table and that German
stein"
The same cure; borrow Toms"
"Ha! Well fool him yet" and Sam
Strengthened up, smiled, and lit a
pipe. Yes, sir, I'll have this room as
sanctimonious as monks chamber in
five"
There was a knock here.
Whats the time?" gasped Sam
only O'clock
Then it's the laundry" returned
Sam, darting in the closet. Remember
I'm not home, Shortie.''
Another knock,
"Hello," and this time Shortie took
out his pipe.
docs Mr.. Barton room here?" asked
a voice outside.
Eyes"
Can I see him, please?''
mo"