Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-02-05
feet high, but was to blame for being
helped opt alive?

feet high, but was I to blame for being
helped out alive?
Il got Another whirl at it before any
thing happened to George. though it
was rather piling it on to me. He had
banked on the idea that somnambulism
would dc the job for me. In my sleep
walking I had broken an arm and leg
and had my head cut open, and so he
had basis to figure on. Three weeks
after the falling wall affair / took a
wander in my sleep in hotel in De-
troit. was on the fourth floor, and
opened the wire door of the elevator
and took a drop to the roof of the car,
which was down at the first. / ought
to have broken a leg at least, but all
tho injury received was slight cut
onfthe head. In fact, the damage to
the elevator was s14. while it was not
two cents to me. / now took a rest
and let George have show. He met
with an adventure on Lake Erie which
would have made chapter in dime
novel. In going from Cleveland to De-
troit he fell overheard without being
noticed, and he had been three hours
af1oat when picked up. The curious
part Of 1t was that he could not swim
a stroke, and how he managed to float
about as he did was one of the mys-
teries. When the news of his being
saved from watery grave reached me
| telegraphed my congratulations.
Gentlemen, do not think me hard
hearted man, but / must admit that my
He was insured for my benefit, and he
really ought to have gene to the bot
tom of the lake under the circum-
stances. l could not gush aver his es-
cape. l did not even try to.
After the Lake Erie incident" con-
tinued the fat man, as he took out and
reread the telegram, things ran alonfg
as smooth as grease for year. Then
l got caught in hotel fire. l was
aroused by the alarm at midnight, and
as escape by the stairs was cut off
jumped from a fifth story window.
had my Burnside whiskers singed off
as l went. l expected to bring up on
the stone sidewalk Of course, but Prov
idence had charge Of me. alighted on
the roof of building fifteen feet below
ocida having
the breath knocked out of me for five
minutes l was all right. Had | taken
the next window to the left I'd have
brought up on the stones of the street
George saw the account in the paper
and telegraphed me from South Bend.
He evidently tried to show brotherly
spirit in that telegram, but it was a
dead failure. However, / couldn't
blame him so very much. | ought to
have been killed as dead as a door nail.
1t would take me full day to recount
the adventures we have met with since
cur bargain. Sometimes | have grown
discouraged and been ready to throw
up the insurance, but a still, small
voice always whispered to me to hang
en- a little longer. l have been tossed
On the horns of a Texas steer, run
down by an ice wagon, shot at by foot
pads and dropped with an elevator,
but grim death has passed me by to
claim some leaner victim. My late
friend has had q dozen close calls as
we'll. A freight locomotive blew up
while he was riding on the tender; he
was carried over waterfall thirty feet
high while fishing; bad man in Kan
sas shot at him, farmer blew him up
with a stump, and down in Florida an
alligator took the hat off his head.
Providence seemed to be holding both
Of us in the hollow of his hand, but
have won at last. Providence seems to
have dropped him when it came down
to bluffing a motorman. l can imagine
it ALL He started across the street
ahead of a car, and as it came up he
threw out a bluff and expected to see
the brake put on and the passengers
piled in a heap. That was his daily
joke, but he happened to strike a. man
who couldn't be bluffed, and was run
down. 1t is the end of a long struggle,
and can you blame me for feeling or
relief? l sigh and l murmur, Poor
George but at the same time feeling
of tranquility steals over me. l shall
collect the insurance in due time, but
l shall make no more bargains of the
kind. They somehow act to dry UP
the milk of human kindness"
Copyright, 1893 by John Brisben Walker)
THE PHONOGRAPH IN ABYSSINIA.
Nothing pleases barbaric monarch
i L 3. E