Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-06-01
An Advertising Campaign
RN James Barrett Kirk.


FHE young man leaned careIessly
against the piano and listened to
the young woman who sat on the piano
stool
It's awfully good of you, Jack" she
was saying, land 1 really like you first
rate, because you're such a jolly fell
low and never bore me; but when it
comes to marrying you-why, that's a
different matter. The idea is not &C
tually displeasipg to me, 1 will admit
Still, it isn't exactly proposition that
arouses my enthusiasm"
uni" said Jack.
You see," continued the young wom-
an, sit has always been a cardinal prin-
ciple of my life to attain my ends by
unusual methods-to get out of the rut,
as it were-and people who are actu-
nted by a similar motive are the people
who command my admiration. There
fore, 1 doubt if any man will ever sue
coed in screwing my affections up to
the marrying point as long he con-
ducts his wooing in the old familiar
away. See?"
Il see,'' said Jack
A moment of silence ensued, during
which the young man looked lingering
ly upon the beauty of the young wom-
an. He realized that he had been ten
-Clerly rejected by the only girl he ever
saw who was ''just his STYLE and he
felt disposed to enter the lists and have
q joust with fate-to refuse to accept
her decision as final. He also felt
strange and abnormal craving for ci-
gar. Rousing himself, he stood erec5
and addressed the young woman.
Now, see here, Mollie,'' he said,
you've got to marry some time, for
girls like you are not born to life of
single blessedness; but if you wait for
some fellow to go after you in new
-and original way I'm afraid you'll wait
several hours, at least. Originality is
at premium these days. Nevertheless,
/ don't propose to give up all hope my
self. / have bright idea occasionally,
and by arduous effort l might even
evolve a brand new style of courtship.
However, / have nothing available in
this line to offer just at present, so I'll
say good night"
The young woman looked up and
smiled sweetly as he turned to go.
Good night, Jack" said she.
An hoCr later found Jack comfort
ably located in the easiest chair his
club afforded, blue smoke wreaths curl
ing above his head and a cocktail at
his elbow. His appearance was not.
strictly speaking, such as to indicate
that his heart and hand had just been
respectfully declined by the girl he
loved, for his was one of those buoyant
natures that never fail to rise triumph
~ he MT fS of
Still, his face wore an unusually Sc
rious expression as he lounged in the
big chair and smoked his cigar and
slipped his cocktail, and he looked as
though he was engaged in solving some
abstruse problem in philosophy. As
matter of fact, he was racking his brain
for new way to make love-"
When the twenty-seventh scheme
had been reached progress in this in
teresting evolution of a method was
Inomentarily interrupted by the advent
of a fellow clubman, who paused as he
was passing the big chair and surveyed
the unusually sober countenance of its
occupant.
Good evening" he observed, pleas
antly.
Have you used Jugg's Blastoria? ,"
supplemented Jack, shortly. He didn't
like the interruption.
What's the matter tonight?
-queried the other. Anything wrong?"
Guess not" replied the young man.
E'This cigar seems to have been built
OF, honor and the cocktail may De des-
iCnated as the standard of the
world
Then" said his friend. you must
have run up against a case of love
grown cold. If so, take my advice and
don't despair
There's Fleecem's union under
wear" murmured Jack.
The other laughed.
''My dear boy" he said, when you
read the magazines you should confine
yourself to the literary pages. The
Others are undoubtedly interesting and
attractive, but they exercise too great
an influence on your conversation.
What are you thinking about that
makes you look so deuced serious?"
Jack sighed for the first time since
the episode with the young woman.
''How to attain the unattainable,"
he answered.
"a fascinating problem, truly
..Yes; but the solution is difficult"
ssNot particularly so, providing you
go about it in the right way
ssHow would you do it -
GLOW? Oh, I'd advertise. That's
the only way results of any sort can be
obtained nowadays. Well, so long, old
man. Sorry 1 interrupted your cogita-
tions."
The intruder moved away while Jack
took the cigar from his lips and gazed
abstractedly at the retreating form.
Then suddenly he started and sat
erect in the big chair.
by Joyel" said he.
Jack always said by Jovei" when
struck by a brilliant idea; therefore he
considered it eminently appropriate TO
the present occasion. In fact, the idea
that now possessed the young man