The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-06-18

NAG ApC1nOCEANtG A-4ENy-he AlNGnOS
the Tammany Dinner In New York
WASHINGTON, D. c.
Tu the Editur
Sence the agurnment nv kongress I hev
bin ez bizzy ez Satan in a gale NV wind IN
tryin tn pore lie upon the trubbled waters
wv politix- We hev so menny crooked
paths tu straiten and so mcnny ruff places
tn smooth down tibet hcv been appinted
e resident embassadur or q peram boolatin
misshunary wherever mi ervices are most
needed This will be mi permanent he'd
quarters, whar 1 kin meet sich Nv our
staitsncn eZ ar willin tn be met bi Moo
Gersey Dimicrat and wharc we kin gather
up fragments Nv craftsmanship if thare ar
emmy fioatin around. Wen thare iz mis-
shunary work tn perform in emmy part Nv
the kountry, l kin be fired out frum heer
bi male or telegraph and fiji tn wherever
a DiInicratic onplesantness needs passi-
fyin. This arrangement wuz made hi Mr..
Cleveland and sum NV hiz former offs
holders, hoo ar now lyin low and watein
fer sumthin tn turn up bi wich tina kin
wunst more git grip ontu the ranes Nv
power. Tha sed tha wanted a man hoo
wcodn { be tn sensitiv, who Good be all
things tn all men, one hoo Good absorb
and carry a hevvy load wv rivivin floods,
and hoo Good be depended upon tn vote
the Dimicratic ticket at all times without
KNOWN or carin why he did it. 1 felt
1attered tn think thet Moo Gersey Dimi-
crat Good fill the bill, and 1 accepted the
hi onner eZ soon ez it WIZ rendered tn me
and arrangements made fer mi susten-
ance, kampane expenses, and enuff apple
jack fer samples in prosecutin mi mis-
shunary wurk
Mi first assinement wuz tn go tn Moo
York city tn tri tu disintangle the snarls
wich the Dimicratic facshuns he'd got
themselvs intu concernin the Tammany
dinner, the Bryan dinner, the workin
mems dinner and several other meelS thet
he'd not been eaten wen got thCre The
several facshuns he'd bin THROWN harpoons
intu each other, figgeratively speekin, and
it wuZ a cheerful and edifyin possibility
thet mite be the meens NV restorin peece
and harmuny whar fitin he'd bin goin on.
Thare wuZ wun embarrassin lecture
Nv the sitooashun thct wood hev made
trubble fer me if it he'd not bin fer the
thotfulness Nv mi mex door nabur. 1t
wuz the plutoocratic acshun NV the Tam
many kommittte in chargin $40 a plate
fer feed. felt thct it wuz II greevus mis-
talk and a prohibitory tariff agin the aver
ig Dimicrat. ] never seen the da in mi
life wen l Good eat $40 wuth Nv fodder at
wun meel, and | konsidered it an insult
tn a Moo Gersey statesman Nv mi intelleck
tu levy sich n tariff fer purposes NV reve-
noe only. The idee seemed more rashunal
wen 1 wuz asshoored thet the most NV it
wood be expended in providin likwid re-
freshments, so / bccum better rekonsiled
tn the arrangement wen it wuZ explained
-tu me in detale.
On the mite NV Croker's grand ioobilee
I WIZ hedid fer the Metropolitan theatur
at an early hour. l he'd never bin IN Moo
York before, but / shood hev Recognized
it ennywhere ez q Dimicratic settlement
hi the number and kapacity NV its sa-
looms. Ez past so menny Nv these gor-
jus recrootin stashuns NV the Dimocracy
] felt it mi dooty til rcdubble mi labers tn
promote harmuny, fer here, realized,
wuz our stronghold whar more votes Good
be found with less voters than in emmy
other secshun Nv the kountry
Wen arrived ut the CRATE theatur whar
our feed wuz tn be distributed, wuz rood
ly halted hi poliseman hoo sed l coodn't
go in bekoz l didn't t hcv on no swaller tale
coat Wen l herd thet, l wuZ neerly struk
dunn with amazement, fer nobuddy in our
naberhood NV Applejack Farm he'd ever
known a Moo Gcrsey Diinicrat tu ware Il
swaller tale coat.
Pullin out mi ticket NV admisshun wich
Mr.. Cleveland he'd pade fer, feercely re-
markt, Du yn refoose tn admit Il Moo
Gersey Dimicrat with sich pasteboard ez
thet9''
'Excoose me, sor,' sed be, but l thot
yeZ wuz sum old jay frum Gersey City or
Hobol<cn, and Misthcr Dick Croker is
bit excloosiv sincc-he's got rich and eats
in private dinin room on the twinty
ninth flure NV his company's big bildin
He bez TIL be very keerfu Nv hiz sosiety
sence the invistigatin konmittees ar on TIL
him. Oi'll hev tn admit yez, sor, upon the
stringth NV yer recomnindashun, fer yez
look loik Moo Gersey Dimicrat, and yer
breath smells loik wan
1 shell never fergit the site mi ize gazed
upon ez l entered the big room whar we
wuz tn be fed and filled up with rejoo-
: venatin floods. Sixteen hundred Dimi-
scrats sat at the tables, and all NV 'em but
me wore white shirts and swaller tale
eoats, and each and every wun NV 'em
NNu5 anchored tn bottle Nv shampane
An atmosfeer Nv gayety and hilarity
pervaded the scene, wich increast TIL gen.
.ooine enthoosiasm under the stimoolatin
infooence NV the staitsmanlike utteranccs
and beverjcs provided bi the manige-
ment
- Upon the stage sot the sheet anchors nv
th4 Oinl1CraIlc NV NOO ora tiao
mem warm big diamonds hoo he'd pulled
the party thru elccshuns wen it wuz short
nv votes Tha WIZ the same men ontu
4 whom he'd fallen the solum dooty NV
kountin out Blaine in 1884, and we may
need them agin next ycer. Tha ar men
who kin be depended upon to furnish
more votes on elccshun n:te than thare are
inhabitants in their wards and precinks.
Under the pure infooenc2s thct surround
the administrashun NV the benevolent in
stitooshuns ny Moo York tina hev advanced
I theluselvs frum hod carriers til millyun-
ares, until tha are able TO hoomiliate sich
Dimicrats ez miscf bi warm swaller tale
coats and skornin tn assoshiate with char
cole burners and claI diggers.
Thare wuz v7un skeleton at the fcest
that throde "a feelin Nv sadness over US all.
1t wuz the remembrance NV the absent
Muns hoo he'd falcl 10 run the gauntlet Nv