The Saint Paul globe., 1899-07-17
EPIsTLEs TO ST. PAUL.


Ano the ire f1end's awful roar.
Oh, well for the typewriter girl,
| AS she merrily clicks the keys,
And the base ball fan, and the bar room
bum,
Stealing the free lunch cheese.
Il would like to look at something in
the line of gentlemen's hose" said q
pale youth with a triangular piece OF
court plaster on his lips.
We do not keep them," replied the
clerk promptly.
Excuse me, but think saw some in
your show window"
Those, sir, are half hose. We may not
do very extensive business in this town
put we do insist on the purity Of our
English [ presume your observation
would lead you to imagine that we also
carried an extensive stock of pants and
| good ladies' shoes. There you would err,
sir, seriously. Going, eh? Well, be care
ful and not leave the store while in mo-
tlon, as the street car signs read
ACT I.
Excuse me. sir. but isn't your name
DunWoodie?" inquired a smartly dressed
young man of a stout, well-fixed appear
ing gentleman, who was toying with a
silk umbrella in front of the Ryan hotel.
The party addressed slowly turned and
eyed the stranger.
Yes" he replied thoughtfully, my
names Dunwoodie, of Waukesha, Wis.
m in the real estate business there,
with my partner, John Blatchford l
don't remember you"
For moment the smartly dressed
young man looked as if he didn't exactly
remember himself, but he rallied.
'Blatchford! Biatchford! 1 think I
can remember when you and he formed
a partnership. So you have forgotten
me. You know Cudworth, the druggist
Does the biggest business in town"
"Oh, yes, 1 know Cudworth My
father, James DunwoOdie, advanced him
the capital to go into business. Cud-
worth married a. schoolmate of my sis
ters, Mary Dunwoodie"
so you are sure you cannot recall me. -
Sure"
81 used I'd clerk for Mr.. Cudworth."
"Ahi Well, was out of the city about
a year. Perhaps that accounts for it,
''Well, good day. Excuse my annoying
you"
Then the smartly dressed young man
drifted south on Robert street. The stout
man continued to twirl his umbrella.
ACT. II.
"Ah. DunRoodie," exclaimed middle
aged man, with a plaid macintosh over
his arm, how are you? How are things
back in WaukeSha?'
The stout man again turned to greet
the new conner. But his expression was
a blank
You remember me, of course you do.
My daughter used to go to school with
your sister, Mary Dunwoodie. She used
to speak of her so often. l knew your
father, James Dunwoodie, quite well.
He helped Cudworth start In the drug
business. you know"
Beg pardon, but my names not Dun
woodie. I never lived in Waukesha in my
life. Who told you l lived in Waukesha
Never mind, though, if the question is
painful to you. Your partner tried to
make me believe my name was Dun
woodie, but it isn't. My names Adam
Zook, of Macon, Ga. Pat Winters and
Zama Keepers and Irma Broadhaus and
Uly Lientz live there, too-what! Going L?
I'm only giving you a list of new names
Well, good day"
And the middle-aged man had fled.
''It must have been rare sport bicycling
in this country during the old colonial
days." observed the Complacent Chump.
He was Immediately snapped up short
by the pretty typewriter girl.
''Sir, bicycles had not been invented in
those days"
Priscilla took a little spin on her wheel?'
'Is there any malaria in this locality q"
inquired the prospective purchaser OF a
suburban cottage.
''Malaria!" replied the owner, 81 am
rot certain about that, but at any rate
can get some cuttings at the nursery
and have 'em set out in the front yard
What do they mean. pa, inquired the
little Zebidee boy, when they say It's
long lane that has 40 turning?' "
'They don't mean anything, my son.
apprehend that they irtende1 to say
straight lane"
All kinds of things from umbrellas to
dogs are occasionally lost and found, but
it is very rarely that anyone finds a lost
bird and more seldom still that the
owner of the feathered stray Is the first
person to whom the finder appeals for
advice. All these things befell w. H.
Hoyt Saturday morning, on Robert street
A little feathered songster was hopping
about on a window ledge and attracted
the attention of lady who was passing
by It's unusual tameress. She picked the
little thing up and held It to her cheek
for a few moments and afterwards re-
placed it on the ledge and walked along.
Mr.. Hoyt saw the occurrence and cap
tured the bird, which was very small with
crimson beak and head Struck with
its remarkable appearance he took his
find to-the office Of DR.. Patterson In the
Chamber of Commerce. who is consider
able of bird fancier and has a large
aviary.
AS Mr.. Hoyt entered the Office a lady
Who was waiting exclaimed ''Why, you
have found the doctors bird"
1t appeared that the little creature was
an African strawberry finch imported
from Africa and a present to the owner
from a travelled friend. SO far as known
there is no other of the kind in the coun-
trV