The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1899-06-15
Hiram Alexander'S Jolt.

Circuit court was in session. The gentle
men OF the petit jury had just filed out to
consider their verdict" in a gaming case.
The lawyers and bailiffs lounged about in
easy attitudes. The judge turned the leaves
of his docket carelessly in search of some
thing that could be used space-filler until
noon. At the tale of the docket he found a
new entry that attracted his attention. 1t
was this:
Estate of Missouri VS.. Hiram Alexander
burglary and larceny" and the court called
the case. asking: who represents the
prisoner"
Nobody" answered the public prosecutor
eff your honor please 1 reckon thereIl be
plea of guilty in this case. The grand Jury
has just indicted a pcor devil of tramp
for breaking into a country store He ought
to be in the penitentiary on general prin-
ciples. If the pen was big enough they
ought to be all there
The judge frowned at this fippant re-
mark. Bring in the prisoner for arraign-
ment and call the witnesses" said he
The sheriff fastened out after the pris-
oner. jingling the Jail keys as he passed
through the door. The bailiff went to the
window and bawled out the names of John
Johnson and Patrick Duffy. These were
the witnesses
The prisoner was fair-haired, loose
jointed young fellow. He shuffed bashfully
along with the sheriff. and when he at last
stood before the bar of justice his eyes were
cast down and he shifted his weight from
foot to foot.
The prosecutor read the indictment, the
prisoner opened his eyes in wonder at the
big words and formal phraseology. shaking
his head from time to time, though one
might wonder whether in protest or from in
comprehension.
The judge leaned his elbows on the open
docket and looked at the prisoner with kind
ly interest
Mr.. Alexander" he said, .the court is
ready to hear your plea. Are you guilty
or not guilty, as charged in the indict-
ment?"
The prisoner spent a moment in sober de-
liberation. then he looked the court frankly
in the face, and said:
Il reckon I'm guilty, ledge: yes. I
reckon"
Have you consulted counsel, Mr. Alex
ander? The court is not anxious to accept
your plea Of guilty unless you have weighed
the matter carefully. You are charged with
grave offense, and If find you guilty it
will be my duty to send you to the peni-
tertiary. You have right to be tried by a
jury, and if you have no money with which
to pay lawyer, the court will appoint
counsel for your defense"
Much obleeged to you, jedge; ever so
much obleeged. You know the law better'n
do. reckon, an if you don't care I'll tell
you about it, and then you can do as you
please
and be as brief possible.
I'm FIN Ilinoy, Judge. ulster work in
tile factory back at Birmingham. I've got
wife an little boy there now. Little
feller couldn't walk when I seen him last
Mandy, that my wife. is alvin with her
pa. Pore woman is worse Offn a wilder
reckon, with me a-trampin' around over
the country. You see, jedge. got out of a
Job back in "a, when the time so hard
l jist couldn't git nothin' at all to do at
home. so | went up to Springfield lookin'
for a job. Then l went to Quincy an to
Galesburg an Aurora-here there an yon-
der But l couldn't find nothin tel do I
didn't have no money got to bchtin'
my way on the freight train an pickin'
my way the best could. 1 grajuly got in
habit o. trampin'. an, fust thing you know
l had quit lookin f work 1 got so 1
didn't really want no work. though l KEEP
pretendin' like / did. 1 list lost my grip
an turned into a regular hobo, wandern'
around FIN place to place an I'm post to
pillar. Two or three years I went on that
away. l reckon I'd a-lived and died a
hbbo if hadn got JOLT
"a jolt?" queried the Judge.
Eyes: an good, hard Jolt 1t was, Lem
me see-this is Chuesday. amt it? Well
four weeks ago this mornin' 1 was comm
down FIN Kansas City on a fiat car me an
my buddy. We lowed to work our way
down toarge Joplin, but the shack-that' s
the brakesy, you know. jedge-he come
along an found us an forthwith kicked us
off The train was joggin' along at purity
good hckry. but my buddy struck a soft
place an didn't get hurt
But my luck is different I tumbled
down an embankment about 40 foot reck-
on. an smashed up agin a telegraph pole.
Ny but that's a terrible smash jedge. I
felt sump'n r other go click in my neck
an then l didn't know nothin' more fr
awhile. Sorter busted up the silver cords
an broke the golden pitcher at the we'll. I
reckon Anyways. when I got up FIN there
! was a changed man. I reckon you never
heard tell of a Teller bein' reformed by
a little thing that went click in the back
of his neck, did you, jedge?"
The court smiled and shook his head.
well. I was shore reformed. That jolt
! got fixed the business. When l hit that
telegraph pole 1 a hobo, an when 1
got up I was determined to quit trampn'
forever l told my buddy goodbye an he
set out down the railroad tracks. 1 turned
out toarge the farms, lookin' FIR work
"Fust farmer l struck was Mr.. Johnson
him that sets over there; told I'm wanted
work powerful bad. but he jist LATED at
me. He says, you're tramp, you air.
You're a regular Dusty Rhodes My wife
wouldn't let you sleep in the house. an I
wouldn trust you with my bosses, even If
you'd work. which you won't. 1 need a
man an that's a fact says he, but you
amt the kind
We'll jedge. told him I'd bIaen a tramp,
but had quit, an now goin to work
or bust a hamstring, but he jis LATED some
more I didn't blame him FIR that, you
see because he didn't know nothin about
the jolt had.
4 went on to the next place. an the next,
an afore night I had been all over the neigh
borhood. An though 1 found several farm
ers that needed a hired han they wouldn't
none of EN- gimme the job because was
tramp. Last Teller l come to was real
friendly, an lied to him-told him WASH t
tramp an never had been.
why, man. says he, you can't fool no.
body on earth. Them clothes o yourn d
give you away in any company. Hired hans