Arizona republican., 1899-02-16
MEDlTATlONS OF
 MARTIN DOOLEY

Well sir" said MT. Dooley, ''i
 looks now as if they was nothing lief
 fr me young frind Aggynaldoo to dl
 but time. Like as not q year firm now hen be in jail, like Napoleon, tin i'm.
 pror iv tn F'r-rinch was in his day, an
 Mike, tn Burglar. an other pathrites
 That's what comes iv bein a pathritt
 too long. Iris a good job whin they 'se
 nawthin else to do, but 'tis not tn
 thing to wurruk overtime at. 'Tis q
 sort iv out-iv-dure sp0ort that ye shud
 engage in duIin tn summer vacation
 but whin a man carries it on durin 1 business hours people begin to get down on him, an aftfer awhile they re
 ready to hang him to get him out iv 1 tn way As Hogan says, Tn las thing | that happens to a pathrite he's scOun- drel.'
 Las summer there wasn't a warmer pathrite anywhere in cur imperyal dO- minions thin this same AggynaldOO. 1 was with him lnesilf. Says I: They SC
 a good coon,' I says. Hell help us fir to make tn Ph'lippeens indipindant on
 Us f'r support l says, an Whln tn
 hlessins iv civilization has been iX-
 tinded to this beloved counthry an, 1 says, they put up intarnal rivinue of lANCo e11A POoOOiltNCo, say T. WI II SA'C
 him a good job as a letter carrier says, where he won't have anything to do,' I says, but walk I says
 An so tn consul at Ding Dong, tn man that r-run that ind iv tn war, he says to Aggynaldoo, Go, he says, where glory waits ye' he says. Go an sthrike a blow he says, fir we're cOunthry,' he says. 'Go,' he says, I'll stay but you go,' he says. 'Theys SC nawthin' in stayin' an ye might get hold iv a tyrannical watch or a pock- etbook down beyant, he says. An off Wint tn brave pathrite to do his jooty. He done it, tco. Whin Cousin George was pastin' tn former hated Castles who was it stood on tn shore shOotin' his b0w-an' arrow into tn sky, but Aggynaldoo? Whin me frind Gin'ral Merritt was iadin a gallant charge again blank caItredges who was it ranged his noble army in path:ites behind him fir to see that no wan at tackted him firm tn sea but Aggynal- dcO? He was a good man thin-a good noisy man.
 "Th' thrubble was he didn't know whin to knock off He didn't hear tn wurruk bell callin' him to come in firm playin' baall an get down to business Says me Cousin George: tAggynaldOo; me buck he says, tn war is over he says, 'an' we've settled down to tn or game he says. They're no more heE roes. All iv thim has gone to wurruk fir tn magazines. They're no more p1- thrites,' he says. They've got jobs as govno or ar-re loOkin f'r thim Gl' else,' he says All tn prom-nint sayiCrs iv their counthrY, he says, but mesilf,' he says, is busy preparin' their defnse, ne says. I have no definse, he says, but I'm where they cant reach me- he says Tn spoort is all out iv tn job an If ye don't come in an jine tn tilina masses iv wage wurrukers,' he says 'ye won't even have tn credit iv bein' licked in Q gloryous victhry. he says 50 to 5h' wood pile with ye, he says, fir ye can't go on cillybratin' tn Foorth iv July without bein' took Up fr disordhly conduct he says.
 ''An Aggynaldoo doesn't undher- stand it. An he gathers his Archery club around him an says he: Eel low pathrites,' he says, we've been be- frayed,' he says. We've been sold out without he says, 'gettin' the usual commission, he says. We're still he roes, he says, an OUT pitchers is in tn pa-apers,' he says. Go in,' he says, an sthrike blow at tn gay deceivers,' he says I'll sell ye're lives dear, he says. An the Archery club wint in. Tn pathrites winlt up again a band iv Kansas sojers, that was wanst heroes befure they larned tn hay-foct s hraw- foot, an is now arnin' tn wages iv a harvest hand all tn year aground an d rather fight than ate tn army beef, an ye know what happened. Some iv tn poor divvles iv heroes is liberated if m tn cares iv life, an tn r-rest iv thim is up in tihree5 an wishin' they was home smokin' a good seegar with mother
 An all this because Aggynaldoo didn't hear tn whistle blow. He thought tn boom was still on in tn hero business. If he'd come in ye'd be 1earin' that James Haitch Aggynal- | loo'd been appinted foCrth-class post | nasther at Hootchy-koCschy, but now | h. rex ye know iv him Il be on tn 1lotter at tn polls station: James | Iaftch Aggynaldoo, alias Pompydoor Jim, charged with carryin' concealed | Yeerins an rays:stin' an officer. Pa hrftism always dies wh.n ye establish ! polls foorce.''
 well" said Mir. Hennessy, "I'm kind V sorry f'r tn la-ads With tn bows .n' arrows Maybe they think they're lathrites."
 "Divvle tn bit iv difference it makes that they think, so long as we don't hink so,'' said Mr. Dooley Its what 72ther Kelly calls caes ig mayhem ct hew 'em. That's Latin, Hinnissy, an t names what's wan mans food is an- ther mans pizen. ."-ChicagO Journal.
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 WIVES OF PRESIDENTS.
  What MrupS CLl4aDt Harrison Garfield