The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-01-12

good looks fr0m-her father or her
mother?" Stella-"From her father.
He keeps a drug-store. Household
Words.
Yes, sir" said the man In Cell III,
time was when | WAS admitted to the
very best houses" And what brought
you here?'' They caught me- coming
Dut."-Tit-Bits.
Bacon-What do you tbte-of the wal
so far? Egbert-well ! think II the
American eagle isn't hoarse 1t must
nave an unusually strong throat
Yonkers Statesman.
THE war" she said. renectiYely,
brought about, or at least hurried. II
great many marriages" True" he re
Piled, but why dwell on the horrors OF
warT'-Chicago Post.
THAT book will repay perusal.' rs
that SOP when | started In on 1t l
had insomnia dreadfully; but after
reading It two evenings ] found myself
sleeping like an infant
Young Poet-Why do you refuse me
a. a son-in4aw? Is 1t because lack
meritf Paterfamilias-Oh, no; 1t Is
simply on account of lack of space. We
are really crowded for room here now.
Judge.
J~obson-Just see how hard Dobs0n Is
working at beating that carpet. Mrs.
Jobson-Yes. Mrs. Dobson sets him nj
work at something of the kind just
after he reads the war news In the pa
pers.-Brooklyn Life.
Dolly-Papa, do they get salt out OF
salt Lake, Papa-Yes. my dear. large
quantities. Dolly-And ink out of the
Black Scar Papa-No; now keep quiet.
Dolly--Yessir-Are there any women
on the Isle of Man?-Truth.
Angry Wlfe-It seems to me we've
been married a century. | can't even
remember when or where we first met.
Husband (emphatically)-l can. 1t was
at a dinner party where there we're
thirteen at ble.-Chieago Daily News.
She-How is 1t that you sometimes
show such masculine energy, and again
such womanly indecision? He-Oh, |
suppose 1t Is a matter of inheritance.
You see, half Of my ancestors were men
and half were women,-Das Kleine
Witzblatt.
The Binkses must buy everything
on the installment PLAN What
makes you think so?" Il heard Jimmy
BInks ask his father whether their
new baby would be taken away II they
couldn't keep up the payments. CHI.
cage Record.
Mrs. Gabb-Are you going to have
your darter take music lessons? Mrs.
Gadd-N-o, / guess not. She hain't no
ear for music. Mrs. Caldwell, |
wouldn't be discouraged at that; meb-
by she might learn to play classic, any
how.-New York Weekly.
Il am as~tonished," said The %scofrer,
ITO hear you compare our glorious
country to a small boy getting his face
washed" "MeT' said the oratorical
patriot. How? Whenf' When you
said 1t was impossible for the nation 10
stand still.'-Indlanapolis Journal.
"Lawd! Lawdr' exclaimed a plons
eolored brother, but amt de Bible
comm true ev'y day. Amt we got a
Sampson fightin' fer us? En- amt de
word come clear cross de ocean dat
de hunted States nag waves over de
Phlllstlnes ?'-Atlanta Constitution.
After the OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES,
Johnny, l have whipped you only for
your own good. believe | have only
lone my duty. Tell me truly. what do
you think yourselff Johnny-If |
should tell you what l think you'd give
me another whlpping.-Boston Tran
script.
Mrs. YounglOve-These women who
write about How Husbands Should
BE Managed'-do you suppose they
n their husbands any better
than we do? Mrs. Elders-Do =
Why. pshaw! child, don't you know
they haven't any Enthusiastically
Life.
True.-"what do you think of my
husbands poems, professor 81 think
they will be read when those OF Milton
and L~ongfellow are forgotten How
nice of you. But you are saying thai
only TO please me, I'm afraid Nay
madam. l do but speak the simple
truth.n-Truth.
Maude-I zee you with Charley Tom
Minis a good deal. begin TO think you
like him better than your soldier boy
Fred. Carrie-Charley is nicer one
way. He is so good. you know. H'
writes all my letters 10 Fred. That
something Freddy never did. use'
10 have TO write them myself. DO
ION Transcript.
Seene-Suburban Villa.-Mistress-
Did any one call while / vas out? Ser
yant-No one, ma'am, excepun'
tramp. He wanted somethin' to eat
Int | told him there was nothln' ready
AN he'd have to wait till the Teddy o
the house gets back from the cookin
school. an mebbe she'd make hin
somethin'. Mistress-of. all things
Did he waltz Servant-No, ma'am, h
ruined,
Vow said the fussy old gentleman
putting one OF the biggest berries Ii
his mouth and picking up another
what Is the sense of having that sigl
read Fresh stra wberries for sale
Don't you see that Fresh strawber
ries' would be enough? Don't you sup
pose that everybody knows they ar
for salef' Il dunno" answered tn
o some folks seem TO think In
eiyin' them away" And the old gen