The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-02-02

$50 much the worse; the absence OF
pain is marked symptom
"Oh, what shall l do" groaned the
Judge.
"The only hope is in mustard: rub
away" was the only advice his friend
could give.
And he did rub, for dear life.
On examination he was found to be
as black as crow-and the soap which
careless servant had dropped into the
bathtub, was discovered to be someone's
patent paste backing.
Tie judge survived.
An alderman in Western city of
about three thousand inhabitants, hay
ing made arrangements to remove to
another city, proceeded to resign his
office.
Such a thing as the resignation of an
alderman was entirely new in the his
tory of the place, and at the next meet
ing of the city council one of the hon
orable members introduced resolution
with a long preamble, setting forth the
new condition of things that confront
ed the municipality, and providing for
the calling of special election to fill
the vacancy. This was discussed with
much fervor. At last the mayor,
as president of the council, asked the
city clerk what the cost of special
election would be.
"About eighteen dollars" answered
the clerk.
"GentIemen," said his honor solemnly,
81 don't consider an alderman worth
it,"
And the resolution then failed to
pass.
Two friends who had not met for
twenty years recently happened to run
across each other in an Eastern city.
One had been laborer in blast
furnace all that time and was COM
plete physical wreck from the effects
of his continuous and arduous toll.
The other man had been a tramp for
twenty years. He was still strong,
healthy man, and in outward appear
ance he looked somewhat better than
his hard working friend.
They compared notes as to the results
of the twenty years. The tramp frank
y admitted that he had often gone
hungry and sometimes been arrested
for vagrancy; also that he had not
cent in the world.
The Workingman, on the other hand,
was able to show that he had on hand
5000 in cash.
This is not an argument in favor of
being a tramp. Neither is it an argu-
ment in favor of giving the best TWEEN
ty years of your life up to unhealthy
or dangerous labor-for board, clothes
and 1929 in cash.
A workman repairing the roof of
one of the highest buildings in Dublin
lOoC LID IOOGluS oHu 1Oll' OIL lhIuS q
telegraph line in his fall, he managed
to grasp it. "Hang on for your life"
shouted a fellow workman. Some of
the spectators rushed off to get mat
tress on which he could drop. But the
workman, after holding on for few
seconds longer, suddenly cried out
"Stahnd from undherw dropped and
lay senseless in the street. He was
brought to the hospital and, on recov-
cry, was asked why he did not hang on
longer. "Shure, was afraid the wire
wud BRAKE" he feebly replied.
O#O
After breaking into doctors office,
he sat down and said, "Will you kindly
look into my eyes and tell me what is
the matter?"
"Certainly," was the quick reply.
Then the physician opened the re-
fractory optic and began in hurried
manner: 81 see at glance that you
have been suffering from kidney
trouble. Yor liver is also out of order,
and there is danger of your having an
attact of gastritis unless the matter is
quickly corrected. From the dlstended
pupil should say that your nerves are
in a debiitated condition, and that"
"Hul up there" came the voice of
the patient.
"What'S the matter ?"
dad burn it, you're looking into my
glass eye"
OK 20
Here is good story, which a club
woman tells about herself:
cat one time" she says, "we had a
coIored butler, who stayed with Us for