Gardnerville record. (Gardnerville, Nev.) 1898-1902, 1899-04-18
Current TOPICS.

Justice Harlan of the supreme court
bsnch cannot take his recreation ON a
war vessel. 90 he goes in for something
else. It's golf that this honorable mem
ber Of most honorable court goes in
for
The justice swats the ball just a. Of
ten as the weather Is not beastly. He
knows as much about tee as about a
writ of certiorari, and caddie is az
familiar as a writ of msndamus or q
motion to advance, and il is no trouble
for him to tell the difference between q
bunker and . court Of nisi prius. The
resemblance between golf sticks and the
court gavel IL scientifically set out
by the judge without the least hesita-
tion. The justice on fair days rises soon
after sunrise. trudges out to the Chevy
Chase links, pounds the stuf1ing ont Of
ball (if that's the proper phrase) and
gets back In time for breakfast at o
o'clock Then he frequently walks to
the capitol over two miles away. His
health is fine. Any man would guess
that much by noting the vigor with
which he assaults plug Of tobacco,
even when he Is on the bench-which
ls no bench at all. but big leather COW
cred chair. It looks as II the judge. cal
culating from the tugging he does on
that plug, is ticking about half Of
cent cut. Th6re Is nothing fnicky
about the way Justice Harlan acquires
the nicotine for which his system Graves
after he has put II into good shape with
a couple hours spent on the links trying
to put that elusive ball into the proper
place.
The Automatic Thinker.
Some Of the queerest characters that
be turn up in Washington. sometimes
called the Mecca of cranks. The other
day an individual who claimed to pos
sess inventive genius appeared at the
Office of local attorney and demanded
a patent Immediately upon what he
called his thinking machine. The device
was little, square box, covered with
black leather, and it was the inventors
purpose to have every suburban resident
or forgetful citizen carry one Of these
which he guaranteed would remind the
owner to bring home everything that
his wife told him to.
The automatic thinker was simple In
operation. the only requirement be-
ing that the forgetful person should
carry it with him wherever he went,
and carry it he must, for the pesky lit
tie thing would not allow itself to be
put down without raising a fuss. The
box contained an electric bell and
mechanism which set the bell In mo-
tion the instant 1t was placed on any Of
the Elk Sides The inventor genius had
figured that il a man would carry one
Of these queer little boxes he would be
reminded to look at his little book Of
memoranda every time he so far forgot
himself as to lay the box down. The
instant one of the sides came in contact
with anything the little electric bell
was started ringing, and it continued
until the boz was again picked up by
the handle, the only way it could be
carried without reminding the owner
that he had something to think about.
One Of the Horse Wartnss.
At q recent presidents reception
there were two pretty girls from Iili-
nois who wanted to see everybody and
everything. A good natured young
congressman was their cicerone. He
pointed out generals and colonels-one
of whom wore no fewer than 10 differ
ent medals on his broad breast-and
captains and majors, with a surprising
and to the two girls sufficiently accu-
rate knowledge of the army and navy
list Most Of all, next to the blond
curls Of an immensely tall artilleryman
the two admired the trim. well set up
figure Of handsome young officer on
duty in the blue room.
who's her" asked the girl in white.
That's Captain So-and-so Of the
marine corps. military attache Of the
house." explained the congressman.
The girl in white gazed at the spurs
which the strict etiquette Of the off,
GERS rank compels him to wear in full
dress.
what does he wear spurs fors' she
asked.
"Oh. you sillyl' said the other girl
why, it's because he's horse marine.
of course
A Name For His Son.
Representative John Murray Mitchell
of the house banking and currency COM
mittse was presented the other day
with q parchment souvenir that was
voted him at an informal meeting of
the committee almost year ago. The
diploma was voted following the birth
of a son. March 30, 1898. and in view
of Mr. Mitchell's arduous labor on a
currency bill the committee made bold
to suggest that the son be named "Cur-
rency Bill Mitchell. Mr.. Mitchell was
not at all displeased at this attention
from his committee colleagues and has
signified his intention Of having the
diploma signed to hand down to his
young son and heir.
The wife of every married member of
the house and Of every married senator
has received a communication from an
association in New York devoted to
the determination Of polygamy among
those who occupy seats in congress. The
declared intention Of the association is
to prevent the seating Of Representative
Brigham n. Roberts of Utah. The con-
gressional ladies are exhopted to interest
themselves in the association and in the
case Of Representative Elect Roberts.
Somewhere over in N street or there
about lives somebody who knows what
he-or more probably in this case she
wants and manages to let everybody
else know it too This all men may