davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-06-16
Had Him.

Facetious Guest-I can tell from your
looks that you believe in Spiritualism.
Am right?
Solemn Waiter-Well, do have some
faith in table-tipping.-India
Journal
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-06-16
Drtvcn to- Extremea.

"Did you read about that Iowa
preacher who was engaged to IL
girls?"
Yes: I presume the poor man was
trying to keep his choir together
through the hot weather."-Chicag go
Record.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-06-16
just Like q Woman.

The real happy wife, so they tell US.
And it's true, what they say" We sup
pose,
Is the one whose husband is jealous
OF all other men whom she knows.
Il. A w Bulletin.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-06-16
Where He Drew the Line.

Handout Harry-Hain't yer never
done no work, Teddy?
Tiepass Teddy-Well, I hev worked
fer booze when L couldn't get it no I'D
der way, but L never worked fer Wit
tleS.-N. Y. Journal.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-06-16
Again.

Now is the season of distress,
When weary mortals here below
Look upward in dismay and guess
How high the mercury will go.
Washington Star.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-06-16
AEanS.O

A pretty young girl of Duchesne
Mas caught In q Sabbath-day reSne.
Her hat was a mess,
And she cried in distress:
Now wouldn't that give you pesne!"
Her tears her plump cheeklets did stesns
ill her fellow said: Darling, refresne.
I'll buy you another,
Much nicer than t'other!'
And that made her happy agesne.
Denver Post
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-06-16
TeIeEraDhY.

Across the board she looks at me
My soul responds obediently;
She is my wife, and with her eye
She tells me there is no more pie.
Detroit Free Press
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-06-16
Only a Question of Pine.

The Doctor-If you will keep me in
clothes, will treat you for nothing.
The Tailor-But am never sick.
The Doctor-No, but you will be after
we have made the arrangement.-Har-
lem Life
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-06-16
No Danger of Excess.

Doctor-It is little difficult to dag
nose your case. Perhaps you have been
eating too much.
Patient-Impossible This hotel is
run on the European plan.-N. Y.
Weekly.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-06-16
Roses aDd Thorns-

Think of the first spring blossom;
Salute it oft in rhyme,
Fen though the first mosquito
Must follow 1t in time
-WaShiugtOu Star
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-06-16
The Summer Girl.

I've found her a most engaging girl,
AS you will quite agree,
For she's promised to marry Tom, Dick and
Harry,
James, John and Jonas and me.
L. A. W. Bulletin.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-06-16
The Lovely shirt Waist.

love it, love it, and who shall dare
To chide me for loving that shirt waist
there?
It may not be pretty, I'm free to admit,
than it
Chicago Daily News
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-06-16
Didn,t Know Them All.

Teacher-Tommy, what are the four
winds?
Tommy-There is the senate, the
house, the prize fghters-an' I don't
know the other one.-Indianapolis
Journal.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-06-16
A YerftabIe Level

Bingo-How do you like your new
cock?
kingley-First-ratei NY wife says
she never was better treated.-ToxR
Topics
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-06-16

Traveler-Tm afraid, Mr.. Station
master, that 1 will not live until the
next train comes! .
Stationmaster-Oh, don't be discour-
aged. You are young yet.-Fliegende
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-06-16

Over 1000 years ago the cat was {
domestic animal.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-06-16
Anything to Eseape ne,

The boy stood on the burning deck,
They tried to calm him down,
But he said he'd rather roast out there
Than stand the dust in town
Chicago Daily News
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-06-16

II am sure now, you consider me
humbug."
Really, professor. I shall begin to
believe in your science. for find you
can discover a chaps thoughts by his
bumps."-Ally Sloper.
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-09-12
Had the Advantage Of Him.

Mr.. D. of Boston, a constant devotee
of the wheel, was recently visiting in
one of the small towns OF western Mass
achusetts. He was taking "a spin abou,
it's streets shortly after his arrival,
when he was run down, as he claimed
by negro and knocked off his bicycle.
The fall not only ruffied his dignity but
his skin and his wheel. These combin-
ed injuries made breach in his placid
ity, and he picked up a stone and
threw it with accurate aim at the col
ored man and brother. This infrac-
ton of the peace resulted in his arrest
and in his conviction in the local court
of justice.
Il will fine you s., said the Judge.
Have you anything to say?''
"Nothing," replied D., unmollified,
Except that wish I had killed the
fellow
THAT remark will cost you IS
more" rejoined his honor.
DIS temper was not improved by
this fresh dispensation of justice,
wherefore the bitterness of his rejoind-
er WAS plainly apparent. "Conversa-
ton seems to come high in this court, "
he observed.
"Five dollars for contempt" prompt
ly responded the bench. "Have you
anything more to say?"
81 think not" answered the defen-
dant: you have the adv antsge of me
in repartee. "-Harper's Msgaz
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-09-12

Ell PASO'S business men should or
ganize and force the railroads to &C.
cord such jobbing rates to this city as
would enable our merchants to do a
general distributing business in all the
surrounding country. AT present it is
notorious that this city is grievously
Disseminated against, and instead of
our controlling the trade for five
hundred miles about US in every
direction, the larger cities, such as
Kansas City, st. Louis, Omaha, and Den
yer, can come in and steal our legiti-
mate trade away from us. This is not
as it should be. Since Ell Paso is sit
uated by nature to be general distri-
buting point, our business men ought
to help nature along little bit, and
compel the railroads to meet the situa-
ton.
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-09-12

THERE is no other man living whose
opinions will weigh so heavily in the
scale as Dewey's, in the discussion OF
the Philippine problem. So, when he
says the Filipinos are more capable of
self government than the Cubans, peo-
pie will be inclined to attach great i'm
portance to his view. The intention of
the administration is to establish ma
tive government in the Philippines as
soon as the natives acknowledge
American supremacy and give US a
chance to spend little time arrang-
ing governmental matters, instead of
shooting and otherwise Furnishing
those who would murder our soldiers.
The Filipiuos opened the attack. They
must sue for peace, not we.
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-09-12

commissioners. They are doubt
less democrats and free trad
ers, but the principle of pro-
lection to home industries is certainly
justi fable in such cases as this. The
county commissioners or any other
agency of government have a perfect
right to get their printing aud COD.
tracing done wherever they please.
but it would seem as if the most econo-
mical practice for all parties concerned
would be to give all public business to
local concerns, after competitive bids
have been received.
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-09-12

VALUABLE time is being wasted by
the carnival committee, in the opinion
of many who are firmly in favor of get
ting up fine show this fall. No meet
ings have been held recently, and so
far as the public knows there has been
no attempt to frame program. 1t
would seem nearly useless to attempt
to raise the required amount of money,
unless the subscribers can be told in
ALI sorts of suggestions have been
heard, but none so far have been
sin gled out as the main features. One
thing Is certain, that the business men
of this city will not furnish money to
get up 8 street parade. or even a street
fair. unless there are enough striking
features aside from these to attract the
crowds. Moreover, it is not likely that
the railroads would give their lowest
rates, unless Ell Paso should give q
guarantee that her midwinter carnival
would be unique, original,
and characteristic. To make failure
out of the first attempt would be
worse than to make no attempt at all.
The thing should be done on broad
scale, and outside cooperation enlisted
in every possible way. We must
provide ample accommodations for the
guests we expect, and must have an
organization so complete thst no one
individual would go away from the
city feeling that he had been neglect
ed. 1t is not enough to open the gates
of the city and invite the nation to
visit us. We must be prepared oof-
fer ample entertainment after the
visitors come. If there ever was
q time in this city when cooperation
was both desirable and possible of &C.
complishment. it is the present time.
So far there has been no evidence Of
hostility in any quarter, except among
q few individuals. The people seem
ready to sink little differences in one
great movement for advertising this
city, and giving it push upward. But
the time is short. The facilities must
be utilized quickly. Most people seem
to agree that the first week in Deem
Der would be the most suitable
time for the carnival, since visitors
would not be likely to come here for
short time just before Christmas, and
our home people are usually too busily
engaged in preparation for the great
holiday to take part in any public af-
fair. This leaves US less than three
months to make all preparations, and
that is none too long. The people are
waiting for report of progress.
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-09-12

Ell PASO presents a good illustra
ton of the adsge that prosperity be-
gets prosperity. AS this town in
creases in importance, new people CONS
in, and, becoming successful in bust
ness, send for their friends. We have
reason to congratulate ourselves that
most of our growth is brought about in
just this way. It is steady and per-
manent. There is no boom. and none
need apply here, for there Is no room
for boom. The reaction after such
unnatural initiation of values is almost
worse than the conditions preceding
such imitation.
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-09-12
BY CARRIER.
ADVERTISING RATES.

Rates Of advertising in the Daily or Weekly
HERALD will be made known upon applica-
ton at the business Office. Those who pre-
fer can have a representative Of the business
department call upon them. who will quote
prices.and make contracts for space. Gall
telephone No 115
Classified advertisements or locals, ten
10) cents per line for first insertion and five
o. cents for each additional insertion.
Special rates upon five hundred 5000 or one
thousand:Q000) lines of local, to be used in
one month. will be. furnished upon applica-
ton.
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-09-12

CORRESPONDENCE from all points
indicates increasing activities in min
ing circles. Every new working mine
opened in this vicinity means q new
market for Ell Psso's goods. 1t is to
our interest to devote every effort to
building up outlying towns, for invest
ments in these are always repaid many
comes branch distributing point for
the wholesale dealers and jobbers of Ell
PaSo
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-09-12
ALICE AND DREYFUS.
Lewis CarrOll's Unconscious PrOphe
Cy OF the Great Trial.
New York Tribune.

New 4Ork tribune.
Some persons have always maintain.
ed that 1.-THE Hunting of the Shark" lie
an categorical poem, setting forth, in a
whimsical, the SORROWS, the struggles,
the triumpbs, and the hesrt-breaking
disappointments of human life.
But it now becomes clear that Ger
tain portion of one of Mr.. Carroll g
books, namely, "Alice's Adventures in
Wonderland, Is more than allegorical
or mystic or philosophic-that it is
prophetic. This portion is the trial
scene, and nobody who knows 8
ly read it without noting how it
porteDds the affair which at this
moment holds, more than any other,
the astonished attention of the civiliz-
ed world. Here is bit of the text:
The twelve jurors were all writing very
busily on states. What are they doing?"
Alice whispered to the Gryphon. They
can't have anything to put down yet before
the trials begun
Oh, simple AnRlo-Saxon mind, that
supposes that the men who are to Judge
their fellow can have nothing to put
down before the trial is begun. "They
order this matter better in Francel"
Herald, read the accusation" said the
King.
On this the White Rabbit-blew three blasts
on the trumpet and then unrolled the parch l.
ment scroll, and read as follows:
The Queen of Hearts, she made some
tarts.
All on a sumner day;
The Knave of Hearts, he stole those tarts
And took them quite away!
Consider your verdict" the King said to
the jury.
Not yet, not YETI the Rabbit hastily in
terrupted. There's a great deal to come
before that
The president of the court being q
blunt, military man, sees noreasou why
any formslity should be observed when
the verdict is a foregone conclusion ;but
even in France the lawyers will drag
things out to make pretense of earn
ing their money, so there has to he q
long trial.
The first witness was the Halter. He came
in with teacup in one hand and a piece of
brea d and butter in the other. Il beg par
don, your majesty" he began, ''for bringing
these in; but hadn quite finished my tea
when / was sent for
You ought to have finished said the
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-09-12

THE Bexar county commissions re-
thought they we're not treated rightly
with regard to job printing for the
county. by the San Antonio job print
ing concerns. They have, therefore,
decided to establish a little printing Of
fee of their own aud will hereafter do
their own printing. Right there we
take issue with the honorable county
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-09-12

TO ADVERTISERS.
In ordersto nsure'proper changes in adver-
Using, copy forsame. should be at the busi-
ness Office not later than 10 a. IN
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-09-12

In the delight of our perfect autumn,
we are already forgetting the discom-
forts of the summer. This is the
weather that makes FL Paso the finest
all the year round resort in the world.
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-09-12

Dresser and Stringer loan and In
vestments Room 5 Morehouse Block,
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1899-10-06
Padgett is the Man.

Senator Lem p. Padgett, candidate
for Congress from Maury county, was in
town Saturday and Sunday. He not
only sustained the reputation that had
preceded him. but added many new
friends to his already large list of ad-
mirers and supporters at this place. He
is good citizen, an able lawyer, clean
and polished gentleman, and has beer
good Congressional timber for a long
time. He addressed the Sunday
school at the Cumberland Presbyterian
Church Sunday morning, and left Sun
day afternoon for Waynesboro. Cliftor
Herald.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1899-10-06
Salt of the Earth.

Our world is not made for geniuses,
nor managed by them. Its best work is
done by people of moderate ability and
more than moderate faithfulness. Their
loyalty to duty in home, church, bust
ness, and public life, is the salt which
keeps the world sweet and clean. They
are not much known to the newspapers,
but their names are written in heaven as
its agents and correspondents in the
busy life of earth. When the final yer
dict comes, they will be the astonished
people at hearing such an estimate o.
the poor things they did and strove
But these are weighed in better bal
ances than either church or state uses
here. -Sunday-school Time.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1899-10-06
The Trade Palace Opening.

The HERALD in its last issue contained
a write-up of the millinery openings Of
Mrs. M. E. Williamson and Miss Hite,
which came off on Thursday and con
tinued throughout the week. Friday
was the day set for the Trade Palace
opening, and those who attended wit
messed a pretty scene. The establish
ment was deliberately decorated on this
occasion, and we'll sustained its reputa-
ton earned at previous openings. In
the millinery department. good taste was
everywhere shown and the elegant dis
play of hats and bonnets, flowers and
ribbons galore bore evidence of having
been arranged by an artistic hand and
elected much favorable comment and
admiration.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1899-10-06
First Annual Conference in America

First Annual Conference in America
/ have just finished reading /" A His
tory of Methodism," written by Bishop
McTyeire, which tells of the first Annual
Methodist Conference held in America.
This Conference convened in the city of
Philadelphia the seat of early Method
ism in this country, on the fourteenth
day of July. 1773. Heretofore, the entire
Western Continent had been one circuit
first appearing on the list at the Twenty
seventh Annual Conference, held in
London, ITO, as "No. 40-America. "
The work of stationing the preachers
and regulating the societies in America
had heretofore been done at quarterly
conferences.
The first annual conference was pre-
sided over by Thomas Rankin, who had
but recently arrived from England. The
disappointment he felt at the progrcss c.
Methodism in the New World is re-
vealed in the following excerpt from his
journal:
Wednesday, Thursday and Friday
we had our first little conference. There
were present seven preachers, besides
Brothers Boardman and Pilmoor, who
were to return to England. The amount
of all the members in the different so
cieties did not exceed 1,l60. From the
wonderful accounts | had heard IL
England, and during our passage, | wa:
led to think there must be thousands
awakened, and joined as members of oul
societies: but was now convinced of The
real truth. Some of the above numbe
also found, afterward, We're not closel!
united to us. Indeed our discipline wal
not properly attended to,eXcept at Phila
delphia and New York and even in thos
places it was upon decline"
With what feelings would the Reverend
Mr.. Rankin be imbued were he living to
day and could attend the next session o
the Tennessee Annual Conference, to b
held in this city October IS? And We
would he marvel more when he Learned
that, in place of the zone thousand, on
hundred and sixty" followers of Wesley
there were now more than 100000 G
persons in this country alone who belon
TO the great church which he and hi
co-workers labored so earnestly an
faithfully to establish in the New World
b. T.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1899-10-06
Hon. T.. w. Carmack.

The friends of this distinguished gen
tleman throughout the state are rejoiced
to know that his health is now rapidly
improving and that he will soon be able
to be out mingling with the people.
We have cause to regard it as almost
certainty that he will be candidate
for the Senate before the next legisla-
ture and we but voice their views when
we say that large majority of the
democrats of this county will favor his
election. -SheIbyville Gazette.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1899-10-06
Convenient and Quick Schedules to
the East via Southern Railway.

The schedules now offered passengers
enroute east via Southern Railway, are
unexcelled, and afford quick, comfort
able and convenient service to parties
from Middle and West Tennessee.
BY leaving Memphis at Gals a. m,
passengers arrive Washington 9:05 p. m.
the second evening, and New York 6:23
a. m. This train passes through the
beautiful scenery around Asheville and
carries Pullman sleeping car Memphis
to Salisbury, and Salisbury to New
York.
Another train leaves Memphis at 500
p m, arriving Washington the second
morning at $40 a. m, Baltimore 9:l2 a
m, Philadelphia IL 80 a. m, New York
:03 p. IN. This train passes through
Chattanooga, Bristol, Tenn. and Lynch
burg, Va, and carries handsome Pull
man Drawing Room sleeping car Mem
phis to Washington. At Chattanooga,
| Cafe Observation car is attached and
meals are served enroute as far as Rad
| ford, Va.
Coming via Nashville, passengers
leave Nashville at $3.50 p. IN. and arrive
/ Washington 6:42 a. m. second morning,
| Baltimore 500 a. m, Philadelphia lO:l5
! m New York 2:43 p. m. This train
carries handsome Pullman sleeping car
| Nashville to New York via Chattanooga
and Asheville without change, aud
passes through the beautiful scenery Of
! Western North Carolina, "fhe Land of
the Sky" by daylight
BY leaving Nashville at 3:3O p. m.
connection is also mad at Chattanooga
with train leaving Al 1000 D. m. and ar
irving New York q :23 a. IN, the second
morning.
The equipment Of this system is un
surpassed, and elegant dining cars are
operated on Southern Railway trains.
| For detailed information. commuui
cate with nearest Southern Railway
Ticket Agent, or address:
{. \. De~AUs~URE. o. y. A.
Memphis, Tennessee.
J. 7. BILLUP~, r. r. A.
| ex Dec - Chattanooga, Tenn.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1899-10-06
PLAYING Second Fiddle.

II Nr. Mckinley would quit playing
at politics and attend to his job as
Presidrn, of the people Of the United
States, he would loom up more promi-
nently "a one Of the important factors
n our national affairs. At present he is
udustriously playing second fiddle 10 a
bot Of cheap political skates Of the
Hanna. Quay. Platt, Alger and Pin
gree breeds McMinnviile New Era.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1899-10-06
TRY ALIENS FOOr-EAsE,

A powder to be shaken into the shoes.
Your feet feel swollen, nervous and hot,
and get tired easily. Ifyou have smart
ing feet or tight shoes, try Aliens Foot
Ease 1t cool the feet and makes walk
ing easy. Cures SWOLLEN, sweating feet,
ingrowing nails, blisters and callous
spots. Relieves corns and bunions OF
all pain and gives rest and comfort
Try it to-day. Sold by all druggists and
shoe stores for 25c. Trial package free
Address, Allen S, Olmsted, lie Roy, n
V t.,
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1899-10-06
LIST OF JURORS
For the November and January Terms
Of Circuit Court,

Following is the list of jurors appoint
ed by the Quarterly court last Monday
for the November and January terms of
Circuit Court:
NOVEMBER TERM.
DIST. No.
l, j. E. Trewett,
2. F. G.. Floyd.
3. II. jackson. ~.
4. A. M. Denton. =
5. E. G.. Fleming. 49,
6. S. R. Bryant, j. T. Digger. -.
7. Will Horne.
s. Joe A. Mathews, Alb Adkisson.
9. w. H. McFall, j. B. F. Dowell,
B. T. McGaw, John Morrow.
10. A. G. Pickard.
IL. Jno. G. Nelson.
y. Jno. Brewer, Luther Word.
ID. Phil Dawson.
IA. Jasper Carrigan.
10. Marion Gates.
16. G. o. Kirk, J. H. Brooks.
II. Allen Griffin.
IS. Tom Fitzgerald, Jno. R. Mckee.
10. j. X. Bell, G.. H. Dodson.
20. T. P. West, Jerry Stone.
81. A. S. Carr, Will Crawford.
%. j. w. Bunch.
90. j. HI. Lochridge.
"a. j. H. Flowers, F. L. Nicholson.
%. w. V. Jones.
JANUARY TERM.
DIST. No.
l. w. G.. Sewell.
3. G. M. Taylor.
3. R. w. Tindle.
4. j. L. Crews.
5. j. HI. Green.
6. w. w. Cochran, F. J. Moore, Jr
7. j. Ed Henderson, w. r. H. Mat
thews.
s. j. r. Hannah.
8. E. d. Wilson, W. H. Lipscomb
John Sands, w. P. Erwin.
10. G.. w. Collier, Marshall Gray.
II. G.. M. Swami, H. M. Brunei.
y. w. A. Lindsey.
13. 7. G.. Webster,
IA. W. j. Kinzer, Ben Foster.
10. Will Hensley.
Is. Willis Lisle.
II. w. M. HARRISON.
Is. Jno. Shelley.
10. A. B. Church.
20. Van Sellers.
81. Looney Fraser.
%. j. X. p. Davis, Rush Odel.
%. d. A. johnson, E. j. Hardison.
a. T. n. Primm, j. 7. Adkisson.
%. F. F. Hampton.