St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1899-07-01
PENSION OFFICE LETTERS
Some Of the Pieturesaue Aeco
Wees On which ApPIica-
tions Are Based.


1--WE probably file more queer letters
in our department" said pension Of
fee clerk, than are received IN any
other branch Of the government service
hardly excepting the post office. some
of them are intensely amusing. 100. ;
have concluded that imagination IS not
bound down by illiteracy, either. De-
cause some of the most ignorantiy
written letters display inventive genius
and cover the whole range of fact, nc
ton and an Ananias-like propensity Tor
lying. Men write to have their pensions
increased. Neighbors write to help
along the cause of man seeking
pension. Wives write to tell the COM
missioner why they ought to get PEN
sions. Family troubles are aired for
the benefit Of the Office. Sometimes
the letters are SO odd that have waived
red tape long enough to make copies
of some of them. For instance, this IS
one from man asking for pension.
after all these years:
THE way l got my war ingery was
a-ketchin of hog. The hog wor
sow hog and our captain wanted her
fur forage. We was chasin the sow and
she crawled threw hoal in rale fence
it war a big hoal and thot were
about the sis of the hog and tried to
crawl threw. but | stuck and tryin 10
wigle out throde the rales of and one
hit me on my he'd and nocked me sense
less. / do not think the sow pig had
nothing to do with my line for duty fer
| did not ketch the hog. Wich she never
war caught.
"A neighbor tried to do pension
seeker good turn in the following
effusion:
~ varily believe that Orville Jane
son is fatiged from earnin his leavln
becos he is too fatt ways 200 pounds
and hav a family to fead-the nabors
think he hav dropsy but no he hav no
dropsy becos he would bust II he had
moar insides him than he now have be-
sides wich he are without vitious habits
or references. i no he hav solid faft ana
| vittels in him an no dropsy.
az New England farmer. who seems
perfectly certain in his own mind that
pension will be forthcoming Just be-
cause he asks for it. writes to the COM
missioner in spirit of vindictiveness
against his wife. which seems little
excusable after you read his letter:
~ got blood pison by beinge hit with
n hens eg which was not good when you
send my pensen I want the Deed made
SOS nv wife cant get none on it-sne
throde the eg.
~ Pennsylvania pensioner waives
his demand for an increase OF pension
on consideration of being otherwise
provided for, and writes direct to ths
secretary of the interior to this effect:
".Now. want You or the comesenil
of pensens to give me plais in you
ofits-then l won't ask for no moa
raze in pensen jus now. can ciur'
O. X. but can't laber. or cud boss I'M
other clurks and maik them stan roul
. and raze dewlie entitel pensens keap
them from loafinge whesperin in one
ours in fack akt as janeaer or supper
wiser seeinge all thing ssoan rite.
"A widow, feeling herself entitled T
a large pension, writes detailed state
ment of her husbands sufferings ant
. death. Among other things she says:
, ..Ny husband was terribel bloatetl
, II didn't look like hisse.. He couidn
! stoop over and straiteh up withou
, helping hissel. To hap'. beans. pork
mashed potatoes. eggs. veal. cabbag
, his stummach was repulsive. III
rumatism was the kind called lnmbag
lat furst. His dropsy was terribei.
: "sP. S.-When my husband com
l back from the war supported him o
!. my needle tell he died.
t "a man from Delaware did not thin
$ that the doctors certificate he sen
; would have sufficient influence. SO
supplemented it by stating that:
= fust got to be totul wreck from live
e and kidneys then was totully wrecke
a by consumticn wich came on me- No.
v I am totully wrecked by army trubbie
J. sprains and hard marching.
k "Sometimes, like Silas Wegg. the
drop into poetry, or at least the
l. threaten to do so. A Massachusetts, al
e plicant informs the commissioner
follows:
n ~ am granson of the revelision
h son of the war of 1912 will rite you
n peace of portry made on myself an
IS ansester: My memrays carrys me bac
o to the day when was stout-aiwa!
d able to roll myself about. but when
undertake it | feel the kean pane ov'
Y Take me, it made me think OF thirt
le three year ago it wasthe Enama thirst
d bullet that pearst me threw the leg
It has made me wish that L was dead.
n have always been to proud to beg.
has made ~ dred when l had to wa
le upon my Leg. II has gave me such
IS pane, it has made me so Lame that
E. have wisht that I was dead then sert'
t. men would says. heare slcepes nero
le he suffered thirty-three years fore
country know wonder we can weep n
ir ONLY that he was q granson OF the rev
g. Iision that hope make the constetush'
III not only that was a son OF the war
at 1912 that never did REBEL the caus OF
H. | never could tell
OF been put off the rolls be ,ause OF p
III pable fraud in securing his Pensi
couldn't stand being outside the brea
Or works, and SO sent this short commul
cation to the commissioner:
e. ~ poot in application too bee re
II Stated be ing bline in dog Con It.
"Oh. yes" said the clerk. as he y
us away his copies. ''if you go into !
p pension Office with sense of hum
u you're apt to find plenty Of matter up
ne which to feed it while YOU are MI
" away the letters.-N. \. Sun.
The Deadly Trolley II Egype'
he In the first four weeks after the op'
* ing Of the electric RAILROAD at Cai
IN Egypt, it is said that no less than