Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1899-07-20
Pete Was Swatted Hard
And 1t Wasn't Any Moving
Machine That Tore Him Up
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Hr7HE first time folks sees Pete"

Af ' HE first time 1OlkS sees lelc,
said the man from the Knob
coun try, they maturity wonder how he
happened to tumble into the thrashin'
machine, seein' that left ear O. his'n
hangin' most down on his shoulder, and
his face all woppcrjawed, and him a
favorin' that left leg O. his'n as if he
want jest sure whether ii was goin' to
stay there when be puts his foot down
or whether it want. Maturity that's
what folks wonders, and don't blame
'em.
81 saws to Pcte-he was comm long
the COW path that takes the turn round
the south side O. the big laurel patch
t'other side O. the Knob, and fetches
YOU out in the Hobby road all right il
YOU foller it, and l see that he was goin'
to leave the path and make short cut
through the patch, jest cause it'd save
him mebbe somcthin' like an eighth Of
mile-I says to him-1 was standin'
in the path, three rod or so from the
patch, and llnow'd what l was standin'
there for-I says to Pete:
"'You better keep the path, Peter,
l says. and 60 round.
"Pete was as stubborn and head
strong as q mule-though he amt so
much that way now-and he kind o.
shifted at me and says:
"'What fer?'
"Wen,' l says, it'll be considerable
further fer you, but if you keep the
path you'll git there good deal sooner
l says.
"'Cause I know'd it was in there, and
l had been more than six weeks gittin'
it there. The first time lnow'd it was
anywheres at all was when l was over
to the Eddy one day and heerd 'em
talkin' bout it.
"'Why, blame it all!' says Eph, 1
never see the likes of it! | was in
boat Jest below the narrows O. the
Lackawack fishin' for clubs. | heerd
q noise, and lookin' round, there it was,
wadin' right out to the boat 1t must
a-come from the Tink Pond district
and swan the canal fore seen it. |
had more'n half bushel O the con-
sarndest incest clubs you ever see, and
they was layin' there on the bottom o
the boat. l hated like Sam Hill to
leave 'em, but there wasn't no way
could git them fish out O the boat and
pulled for shore alone, cause it was
comm right along and p'inted straight
for the boat. When l got ashore |
turned and looked. 1t had climbed in
the boat, and there it sat, feedin' itself
on my clubs, and the boat goin' down
stream more'n five knots an hour! ]
found my boat next day, three miles
down the Lackawack, high and dry on
a rock, but there want no clubs in it,
darn the luck!' says Eph.
81 wonder if Jones didn't see it
t'other day, back O Lackawack" says
Gil. 4 wouldn't never thunk of it
sg'in, Eph, if you hadn't spoke about
that luck O. your'n a-fishing. Yes, sir,
says Gil, I'll bet anything that Jones
seen it back O. Lackawack t'other day.
The roads hain't been just as prime as
they ought to be down that way late
ly, and Jake was haulin' in load O.
stuff for Ira and Nose and the rest on
'em when he got stuck. The team
couldn't pull the load, and Jake had
to tighten up. 'Mongst the things he
left long the road to come back after
was bar'l O. pork. Mebbe half an hour
or so later Jonas was comm out O. the
woods to the road and striliin' an
openin' he looked ahead and seen it. He
seen it standin' by the bar'l O. pork
Jake had left there TO come back after.
Jonas stood still and watched it, cause
he didn't have no gun, bein' only out on
hunt fer railroad-tie timber, and
you don't want no gun fer that. What
you want fer that, nowadays, is micro
scope. Jonas stood still and watched
t. 1t shifted at the bar'l and then
went to work and loosened the top
hoop on the bar'l as slick as could be,
lifted the head, and took out nice big
hunk of pork. OF course, Jonas thought
it'd hustle away with that pork on the
double-quick, but it didn't. 1t laid the
hunk O. pork on the ground, and then
headed up the bar'l ag'in as proper as
it was before, after doin' which it shout
dered the pork and went into the woods
as cool and deliberate as if it'd just
bought the pork, and paid cash down
for it. What do you think, Eph? Must
have been it that Jonas seen, heyY
"Eph he hind O. pulled his whiskers
and didn't say nothin', but Paupaek
Steve he lips in and says:
"'Course it was! My idea is that it
logged a slammin' big mess o them
| clubs O. Eph's home with it, and want
Ad that pork to FRY 'em inl'