The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-11-15
TOWN TALES.

Logic of wit is the most destructible
logic that is employed against error
This was illustrated at a public re-
ception not thousand miles away
from Worcester a few nights ago, at
which a learned lawyer, who is slight
ly lame in his right foot, was present
The advocate heard a lady say to her
companion, THAT is Mr.. c., the
lame lawyer" Turning around he re-
piled, mo. Madame, am a lame man,
but not a lame lawyer"
In one of the courts the other day a
lawyer for the defense was making a
very lengthy cross examination of an
old lady, when he was interrupted by
the Judge with the remark, II think
you have exhausted this witness =
Yes, Judge" she exclaimed, Il do feel
very much exhausted"
A street car conductor was waiting
the other night to get the last car
home, on the South Worcester line,
While walking UP and down the street
near Lincoln square, he saw man how
ering about slot machine in a sus-
pioious way, and, thinking that the fell
low might be trying to get at the
money contained in the machine, went
UP to him and asked what he was
about The man was little unsteady
on his feet, and holding on to the top
of the machine with one hand to keep
his balance, held a handkerchief I'M
der the nozzle of the machine, which
was one of the kind that squirt out per-
fume on the proper application of a
penny.
Here what are you doing there?" the
conductor asked sharply. "Perfumin'
my whiskers, you chump" was the
rude reply; cant you let gentleman
alone when he is making his toilet2"
And that is precisely what the man
with a slight jag was doing. His pock-
cts were evidently stuffed with pennies,
which he was putting down the slot as
fast as he was able, while the perfume
triclxled down on his handkerchief and
hands.
When the conductor finally induced
the man TO stop, he explained that he
had been out with a few friends, and
he wanted to get a lot of perfumery ON
him before setting out for home. He
said his wife was very fond of doors,
although not so fond of her husbands
occasional celebrations. In his maudlin
condition the man seemed to feel that
a surplus of perfume would take the
edge off the curtain lecture that would
be forthcoming, on reaching home The
conductor got the much perfumed man
on car and only regretted that he
could not be at the house when the hus-
band met his wife saturated with the
doors Of alcohol taken both externally
and internally.
A Worcester man has explained why
Temples comet did not strike the earth
Sunday, and send the whole business
kiting into kingdom come 1t is the
most rational explanation heard, so far,
and was given to satisfy the inquiries
of his ten-year- son, who had been
very anxious for weeks before, for fear
1t really would happen, and he would
not get to finish his education.
The father said "They heard that
the comet was coming, so they sent
out few policemen to watch for it.
They watched for almost two hours be-
fore they saw it coming down the road,
and when they did get sight Of it,
II was trotting along at a twenty mile
gate, with its head up and the bit be-
tween it's teeth. The policemen Joined
hands across the road and hollered, and
finally the comet stopped and they
caught it by the bridal and drove it into
a barn at Paxton. where they tied it
up. Mr.. Temple was telegraphed for,
and as soon as he comes they will give
the comet to him and he'll have to start
it all over again before it will get back
to the earth. That's ALL