The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-09-27
SPINNING WHEEL.

5 SPINNING WHEEL. s
THE MINISTER PLAYS COLE.
Its noble game, an elegant game.''
The minister said to me,
AS he took his stand with his club in hand.
While he smiled most cheerfully.
Just watch me drive it's an easy tive.''
And he moulded a two-inch tee;
But he missed it clean-''ThatS awfully
mean
The minister said to me.
1.-The greatest thing is an easy swing
And a carry through" sal, he:
Then he slammed the ground-''Wel, I'll be
bOundi'
TIE minister said to me.
This turf is soft, so l think I'll loft
The minister said to me:
But he struck the wall and he lost his ball
That's very hard luck. said he.
He reached the green in about sixteen,
But it might be worse said he:
Then he hit his foot in a SiX-inch putt
'PrOvoking!is said he to me.
Now, I've heard strange talk in that three
mile walk
And I've heard men foozle and miss;
But not in years has there reached my ears
A collection that equaled this.
~
Rev. DIR. Herrick, United States army,
retired who is known and beloved by sol
diers and civilians alike, because of his
tender heart and his kindly wit, has this
story to tell of an experience of his down
at Fort Monroe, says the Washington
Post. He was staying at hotel there
last spring, l think it was-and among
the persons who made his acquaintance
were two gentlemen. One of them was
Methodist clergyman from somewhere
in Kentucky. and as his companion had a
clerical look and seemed so great a friend
to him. DIR. Herrick naturally concluded
that the companion, too, was Metho.
dist. The mention of the town where the
Methodist preacher lived reminded DR..
Herrick of a story.
DO you know Lew So-and-So out
there in Kentucky, the famous horse
man?' he asked.
Yes" was the answer. The reverend
doctor smiled his kindly smile.
Il heard story about him the other
day." he said. 1T seems that besides
being a breeder of fine horses, he was a
noted character on the race track. Bet
ting and racing were passions with him.
The time came. however, when he expert
enced change of heart. He was con
verified and joined a peculiar sect called
Campbellites, or Christians, church of
very recent origin. For several months
he kept him to the straight and narrow
way, but one day he happened to be
driving a very fast horse, when he passed
a race track. He drove in, and despite
his good resolutions, he fell from grace
and presently sent his horse around the
track in the fashion of his unregenerate
days. Somebody saw him and reported
him. He was summarily turned out Of
the church. A day or two afterward a
friend met him and asked him if the dis
great blow to him. Lew was unexpect-
eddy cheerful. He was not at all cast
down.
Ono said he, Z think it served me
right. I ought to have known better
than to to join scrub church with no pedi-
The Methodist preacher laughed i'm
moderately. His companion smiled, but
in an embarrassed way. The Methodist
finally dried his eyes.
And now, Dr. Herrick," said he, 81
want you to know my friend, Rev. Mr..
So-and-So,' slapping his companion on
the back. "He's the man that turned
Lew out of the church,
Canvasser-"Do you wish to subscribe
anything to aid the Society for the Sup
preston of Crime?"
Man of the House-''Do you make any
thing out of this yourself?"
Canvasser-"Ce Certainly. The society
pays me commission on all | collect"
Man Of the House-"Then it is better
for you that | should not subscribe any
thing"
Canvasser-"Why 500"
Man of the House-"Why. if I should
subscribe and crime should be sup
pressed, you would be out of a job
Tit-Bits.
Maids at the Bath.-Dora- '.Those
horrid men are coming this way. What
ever shall we do?'
Julia-"We can't run away. Hadn't
we better jump out and brighten them? 2"
Pick e-Up.
In a bright, epigrammatic contribution
to the North American Review. which is
in the form of a dialogue between All
artist and his wife, Max O'Rell cele-
brates 'The Pleasures of Poverty Mon
sieur is possessed with a desire for riches
that his wife may live in luxury; mad
anne insists that they could never be so
happy in luxury as they were when their
income was most contracted, and she has
the best of the argument, as is indicated
in the following extract:
'She-And do you also remember
when, two years after we were married.
our general suddenly gave notice, and
left us alone to manage housekeeping as
best we could? And how / cooked all the
meals, and how you never enjoyed them
better. Now, say it's true.
''He-Perfectly true.
''She-And the house was gay happy,
ringing with our laughter all day long;
SO that, in a month, baby put on six
pounds of flesh?
'.He-And how | cleaned the knives?
She Which helped your appetite for
breakfast.
''He-And the boots? Now, / did not
like cleaning the boots.
1She-Yes, You did, and they never
shone so beautifully.