davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16
High Lights.

The contented man is often a man
with whom all his kinfolk are discon-
tented.
When a man is henpecked even the
women who would treat him the same
way feel sorry for him.
The woman who tells you a secret
knows in her heart that you can't
keep it any better than she could.
Cynicism is an indiscreet acknowl-
edgement that life's worries have got
the better of your cheer and courage.
Man is known by the company he
keeps; woman is known by the COM
panies she has when she entertains.
There is a current prejudice against
housekeeping. but every real woman
likes to tie her head in a towel and
Stir things up from garrett to cellar,
It is more blessed to give than to
receive; especially when your cook
makes better strawberry shortcake
than that sent yer by the woman
next door.-Chicago Record.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16
signs.

Notes from a letter just received
from an observing American who no
ticed these signs Or a trip from Liv-
erpool to Naples. IN Liverpool Q sign
reading: Shaving, Id; shaving, with
clean water, I'd" In the Anglo-Amer-
lean bar, at the Grand Hotel. in Rome,
the popular American drink thus
masquerade on a sign: Handsome
Cooler, l lire" Travellers On a train
from Paris to Rome were informed by
riacards that "TrayeleTs may not pu.
their heads and hands from the Win
dow In case Of accident" To what
straits a nation with no w in it's Ian
guage is reduced is shown by theatri-
cal posters on the walls and fences
about Naples which stare one in the
face, reading: "Teatro Mercadante.
Etc, Etc, Etc, Athletic, S atti.. etc,
etc, G. SHAKESPEARE" Shades of the
departed William!-New York Times.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16
AN ORDER FOR A HAMMOCK

Make mo a hammock, deep and strong.
of hue and pattern tasteful
VI dimensions not so very long,
For space this WY is wasteful.
I'm seeking a hammock built for three.
Not often you have call so
Unusual? It's for Nell and me,
And for young Dan Cupid, also.
so common the hammock that's built for
two,
1t barely draws attention;
but the one l am ordering now of you
Must hold the three l mention.
Make 1t with such a wonderful weave,
For comfort and ease designed US,
mat Nell, by my side, will hate to leave,
And no bungling chump can find US.
The hammock must know my touch, OF
course,
Since l am the chap to use it;
but 1t must rear up like o balky horse
Nhcn another man would choose IL,
ana steady and true must this hammock
swing
10 the will Of US happy three, sir:
For l wish to be sure that no such thing
AS a failing OUT will be, sir!
Edwin L. Sabin, in Puck.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16
Whit Might Have HapDened.

"Sir Harry Vane ! Sir Harry Vane
the Lord deliver me from Sir Harry
Vane !" said Cromwell as the soldiers
of Captain Pride turned out Parlia-
ment. Sir Harry was speaker then,
but he was governor of Maasachu-
sets before that, and in the old Bay
state his name is still remembers
and respected. Sir Harry's headless
ghost is said still to haunt the gardens
of his Kentish home of Fairlawn. Lady
Vane, wife Of Sir Harry's descendant,
believes that she has heard the foot
falls of the Massachusetts ex-governor
sounding at midnight alongthe tagged
walk. Lady Vane the other day wrote
for an English periodical an article on
Sir Henry. Strange as it may appear,
the name of Sir Harry Vane had al
most been forgotten by Englishmen
until last summer, when the uader-
standing between Great Britain and
the United States revived his memory.
An editorial preface to Lady Vane's
article says:
"The year that has opened sees q
STRENGTHENING of the bonds between
this country and America. If Sir Henry
Vane had not been recalled from the
governorshipo Massachusetts, Amer
lea might still have been ours; but
that was not to be, and London turned
out to see him beheaded(June IA, 1862
on Tower Hill, as many a gallant gen.
tleman had been before him. New
York Press.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16
rnak@ Had Swallowed Dynamite.

While blasting out a ri;t on his farm
aear Union Centre, New York, til,
other day, William Hackylft came up.
on q large b~Iachsnake. The reptile
was sluggish, and evidently had lust
feasted after its winters sleep, bu,
when Rachyl't got 4 club it coiled it,
self and showed fight. After some
maneuvering he got neal enough tc
deal the reptile q fierce blow on the
head. There was Il terrific report AMI
Rachylft "a hurle violently to the
ground. The shock stunned him TO,
several moments. When he got up h.
found that the snake hal been blow (
to bits, all that was left being a picct
of the tail. For a time it seemed in.
comprehensive. Then Rackylft saw
that some of the dynamite used il
blasting the rock was missing, and il
IL supposed that the snake gobblet
The explosive along with some particles
of flint. and that the blow on tn,
makes body bad been sufficient t,
eause G. explosion. New York Rcesee
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16
Sea Water for Street sprinkIins.

Tho Merchants Association Of San
Francisco, says the Popular Science
Monthly, has been trying the expert
ment OF sprinkling a street with seq
water, and finds that such water binds
the dirt together between the paving
stones, SO that when it is dry no loose
dust Is formed to be raised by the
wind; that sea water does not dry SO
quickly as fresh water, 50 that it has
been claimed when salt water has beer
used one load of it is equal to three
loads of fresh water. The salt water
which is deposited on the street alb
serbs moisture from the air during the
night, whereby the street Is thoroughly
moist during the early morning and
has the appearance Of having been
s-"'~'toi
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16

One of the mascots of the Massa-
chusetts was q little dog, which, at the
first bombardment of Santiago, leaped
overheard in a fright. Three hours
later the men of the flagship discov-
cred him swimming near that vessel,
and were about to lower a boat to res.
cue him, when orders for the cruiser
to get under way yer given. Many
a sailor wanted to jump in after him,
and there was sadness from stem to
stern when the little fellow gave des-
pairing yelp and sank. A pair Of ban
tams roosts am%idships. The hen went
through the war, but her former mate
died eff the coast OF Cuba. The new
one crows Justify at every mention of
fight, and looks as saucy as the Scor-
pion or the Gloneester.-Nev York
PTesa,
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16
Stair Climbing For the Lungs.

The average ~landlady of the aver
age lodging house is nothing if not
resourceful and original. When it
comes to the question of the merits of
her particular house, the unoccupied
rooms of which are open to inspection
at unreasonable hours, her vocabulary
is practically unlimited, and while her
English may not always be without
%reproach, it is sufficiently lucid and
forcible to give a good idea of the
many excellences of her domain. It
has remained, however, for q landlady
living not a thousand miles from West
Eighteenth street to make, with the
assistance of q number of unknown
medical men, the astounding discovery
that climbing up numerous flights Of
stairs is not only not injurious, but is
actually beneficial to the health.
why, bless you," she said to a
young man, and unfortunate seeker
after rooms, who protested that the
fourth floor was too high for him be-
cause of the weary and hurtful stair
climbing "Why, bless you, it's the
best thing in the world for you. The
doctors all around here are recon-
mending stair climbing for dyspepsia
and lung trouble! They say it's the
best thing in the world for either one
of tlkta,se complaints, if you'll only
walk upstairs often enough and al
ways be sure to throw your shoulders
we'll back"
The room-seeker protested that he
was troubled with none of these COM
plants.
ooh, WE'LL" said the obliging land
lady, ''that doesn't matter. It's good
for the general health. You don't care
to try it? Very well. Good day."
and the door closed firmly behind the
outcast young man, who was wonder
ing what tale would confront him in
the next house.-New York Times.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16
sclidlhed Spirits for Fuel,

A new idea in candles has been
evolved by a German chemical manu-
%facturer. 1t is simply a mass of solid
lied spirits pressed into cylindrical
form and distributed in round tin
boxes. The solid spirits burn readily
and need no wick to make them appIi-
cable for heating Or cooking purposes.
The fame can be extinguished like
that CT a chafing-dish lamp, after
which the little surface spirits, which
became liguefied by the heat of the
fame, resume their hard and wasy
consistency in a few minutes.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16
Described In . Word.

The members Of the Flemish Acad-
envy, Of Anvers, recently determined to
frame anword which would be readily
Ineligible to all who understand the
language Of Flanders and who had
ever seen a horseless carriage, and the
result was that after much deem
thought they framed the following
word: Observation-Disclosures
petrolrijtuig. This euphonious woro
signifies "a carriage which Is worked
by means of petroleum, which travels
fast, which has no horses and which IS
not run on rails" This is, from one
point of view, a fine example of null
tum in parvo, but it may be questioned
whether n extraordinarily long word
is preferable to half q dozen shor,
words. The Flemish people, however.
think differently, and the academicians
of Anvers have been highly compli-
nented by them on their linguistic
skill as seen in this unique word.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16
HUMOROUS.

Tommy" said the teacher, "what
is meant by nutritious food?" "Some.
thing to eat that amt got no taste to
it., replied Tommy.
Willie ION being asked to bring from
the library table a book that happened
to be bound in paper)-Do you want
the s~oft-shelled one, mamma?
Student-And was the operation
successful? Eminent Surgeon-No.
We found that he didn't have o veri-
form appendix and he got we'll.
"Why must you and your good wife
separate, Pat; can't the trouble be
patched up?' ':No, sir. That's ioost
it. She won't patch up me pants
"Who are all those men l have seen
calling on you lately, Smith?" ooh.
they're gentlemen of the press"
"You don't say?" eyes; my credi-
tors"
"~Clementine, what did you do with
that curtain goods you bought last
week" "Well, it was entirely too
loud for curtains, so l made a shirt
waist of it,"
"Do you believe mel show charac-
ter in the way they carry their um-
brellas?' mo; but they show lack
of character in the way they carry
other peoples umbrellas"
He had a taste for poetry;
Although he never wrote,
lie loved to delve in reams of rhymes,
I've seen MIN do 80 many times
Behind the printing office-he
Was just a William Goat.
"Iou have been very good this
morning, Willie" said the fond MANI
ma. Now, what reward would you
like??' Il would like TO be allowed to
be naughty all the afternoon"
Mrs. Gotrox-Mabel, dear, are you
sure Mr.. Woodby loves you for your
self alone? Mabel-Yes, I'm sure he
does, mamma. He is always so rest
less when you are in the room.
"Here is an article on The Right
Kind Of a Wife," she said, looking
mp from her paper. II suppose" re-
turned the heartless man, ut refers
the one a fellow doesn't get"
81 have decided to ask your fathers
consent by letter, Pauline. Now,
what sort of a letter would you advise
NE to write?" 81 think, Claude, I
would write an anonymous letter"
Teacher Ito new scholar)-What is
your name? New Bov-My nam is
julie, sir. Teacher You should have
said Julius, sir. And now, my lad
turning to another lad), what is
your name? "Bilious, sir"
The woman was furious. "Do !
hate her? At this moment I feel as if
[ could pass her house without t~oh;
ing into her front window to see if she
had any new things in her parlor %
Anger with q woman is terrible.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16
= c~RlTTENDEN's AUDAc1rY.
u Celebrated Turfman Who Accom-.
plished What Few Attempt,

q Celebrated Turfman Who Accom-.
plished What Few Attempt.
"A little group OF veteran turfmen
were sitting in the lobby OF the St.
Charles hotel at New Orleans, La,
talking about people and things.
speaking Of nerve" said one of the
party. apropos Of a story that had just
oeen told the nerviest, coolest, most
6eif-possessed man I ever knew in my
life was Harvey Crittenden, who died
IN 20 at Saratoga. Harvey was a
member OF the celebrated Crittendea
family OF Kentucky, and was a finely
ored: highly cddteeated, polished gentle
man, but he had a streak Of natural
aeviltry running through him that he
could no more help than he could help
the color of his eyes. He vas the
worst practical joker that ever lived,
out his GOODNESS and presence of mind
used to invariably get him out Of his
scrapes. I vas with him at Louisville
IN the fall OF 'S6, and he offered a
crowd Of us at the Gait house a bet
OF $50 that he would kick anybody IN
n city and not get into the least
trouble over it. He kept the bet stand
ing for two days, and kicked seven or
eight different people-some OF them
elderly men and men of prominence.
In each case he apologized so suavely,
claiming he mistook the victim for his
brother, WAC had kicked him the day
before as a joke, that the victim be-
came Modified and assured him it was
all right. I have often heard since OF
Dther people doing the kicking act, but
[ am sure Crittenden invented it. At
another time I was walking along the
street with him when he noticed a
masher posing OF the corner. He was
exquisitely dressed and had q flowing
blonde moustache. Watch me sur
prise him. said Crittenden, and turn
Ing suddenly to the dude he seized
both ends OF his moustache, pulled
them violently and said, In a loud.
voice: Pretty bird!' Prst-
ty bird!' Then he walked off rapidly
and was out Of sight before the fellow
could recover from his amazement. It
seems foolish to tell, but it was on,
Of the most ludicrous scenes I ever
When Crittenden pulled
The mans moustache his mouth few
open like a trap, but he was SO par
alyzed with establishment he was un-
Idle to lift a finger"
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16
A British Cable.

Plans are far advanced for the con.
struction of a Pacific cable by Great
Britain and her colonies. The pro-
;ected route, with the landing stations
all ON British territory, is from Van
couver by Tanning island and Fiji
to Norfolk island, and thence to
Queensland and New Zealand. The
estimated cost is from $500, 900 to
s.. G0o, 900. The four Australasian col
onies concerned have volunteered to
become responsible for four-ninths OF
the cost, and the remaining fve-ninths
will be divided equally between Great
p-sAotn opd Canada
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16
Losses in Battle.

An old friend sends a clipping re-
lating to MI. Alexander Sutherland's
article in the Nineteenth Century on
the question of wal being On the de-
cline. The conclusion is that the loss
of life in Europe by war during the
present century does not exceed one
per annum out of every 10, 600 of the
population, whereas IL in 100 wonld
be a low estimate of similar deaths
in the Europe of 1000 years ago.,
New York Press,
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16

6WHt .-,- ---.~'." NH"A Stavos.
Observations at Blue Hill obserya-
tory showed that for several days be-
fore the great cold wave OF February
last, the high cirrus clouds, which at
tain an elevation Of about nine miles,
moved with unusual velocity. On one
day these clouds were flying at tbs
rate OF 1GS miles per hour. 1t is
thought that measures Of cloud no
tons will play an important part in
weather predictions hereafter.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16
How Fisherman Davis Met a Whale

William Davis was out in his small
boat near Libby island, where he was
preparing some lobster traps, when q
very large whale rose out of the water
not forty feet ahead of his boat and
began spouting water into the air. The
wind was blowing in the direction of
the boat, scattering the water all over
him and belonging him to such an e.-
tent that he imagined himself i'll a
typhoon. But before MI. Davis could
sufficiently 70 change his
course the boat was up Il the whale.
One flop of the monsters tail nearly
filed the boat with water, and then
the animal sank. MI. Davis estimates
that the whale was from sixty to
ninety feet long.-Lewiston (Maine)
Evening Journal.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16
To Cook New Peas.

Cover fresh peas with cold water,
season with salt and boil till tender.
Drain off the water, add three or four
little pats Of butter, and let the butter
melt through the peas. Put them iu a
vegetable dish and serve very hot. II
the peas are not sweet enough sweeten
them with a very little sugar.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16
An Excellent Combination,

The pleasant method and beneficial
effects Of the well known remedy,
SYRUP OF FIGs, manufactured by the
CALIFORNIA FIa SYRUP Co., illustrate
the value OF obtaining the liquid laxa-
tive principles Of plants known to be
incidentally laxative and presenting
them in the form most refreshing to the
taste and acceptable to the system. It
is the perfect strengthening laxa-
tive, cleansing the system effectually,
%dispelling colds, headaches and fevers
gently yet promptly and enabling one
to overcome habitual constipation per-
~nanently. Its perfect freedom from
every objectionable quality and sub
stance, and its acting on the kidneys,
liver and bowels, without weakening
or irritating them, make it the ideal
laxative.
In the process of manufacturing figs
gre used, as they are pleasant to the
taste. but the medicinal qualities of the
remedy are obtained from SIENNA and
other aromatic plants, by a method
known to the CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP
Co. only. In order to get its beneficial
effects and to avoid limitations, please
remember the full name of the Company
printed on the front of every package.
FIG SYRUP CO.
SAN FRANCISCO. CAL.
LOUISVILLE. KY. NEW YORK. N. 2.
TELL THE ADVERTISER Won saw itinthjx
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16

Every woman should have tina beauty.
vlvaclty ana vigor of perfect health. A strong
stomach Is the first essential to nhvsI.ni
beauty IN either man or woman. NiGa-;enths
OF the sickness of the human race comes from
weak digestion. Thousands of people. aftor
ters stomach Filters and reclaimed their
health. There 1s nothing like 1t for the rlreof
sIolnach troubles. See that q private Revenue
Stamp covers the neck of the bottle.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16

Clean blood means a clean skin. No
beauty without it. Cascarets, Candy Cathar.
tic clean your blood and keep it clean, by
stirring up the lazy, liver and driving all i'm
Danish pimples, boils, blotches, blackheads.
and that sickly bilious complexion by taking
Cascarets beauty fer ten cents. All drug.
Gists, satisfaction guaranteed. lOc. Csc. SOC.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16

1t Is the only cure for Swollen, Smartings
Tired. Aching Burning, Sweatin: Feet, Corns
n Bunlons. Ask for Aliens Foot-Ease, a
powder TO be shaken into the shoes. Sold
by all Druggists and Grocrrsand Shoe
~ res, 25e. Sample sent FREE. Address
Allen s. Olmstead, Leroy, N. Y.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16

Sible application OF
"A striking pointed out by Pro-
electric wayssho has noticed that
lessor Lodause drops of mercury
these waEnite, thus overcoming q
and oil Of certain metallurgical
dlfhcult. He thinks that Scotch
operatd be converted into rain by
mist rays, which would precipitate
eledumes, but doubts if the effect
a London fog would be encourag-
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16
eYRlAN WEppINo-
which the Prizes. wor. . c..-,
Robe Of Gold.

)" Tfiess Wore . Grown ~,
Robo Of Gold.
Ny York Times: s. p.+.,,
sunds"lc church was crowded q,
SUNDAY evening with members ~ -. y,
hsan colony and Americans who hal
~ invited to witness the weda;ns
a'ss shahka Lutfy to Elias M,.L:
Svaa, ooth Of whom were born ~ 1870 ~.
Snr'stian city Of Fable, syria u,t ne
tho .he scene of a great fight during
ene Christian m~assacres In the a' .so.s
.ns gu the members of the 1mtf.'
1na Aacksoud families are now n :. t
a'.sa states, preferring to live ur Q
sno STARS and stripes to remaint,sa t
se. Inc banner and c~rescentsne +
hue ~ ene daughter of Abdon 10y, b
a 90 senior partner OF the arm-ihaaaay v
sooa Maeksoud, importers o{ha ,Sh n'nI y
sooos' n the Bridegroom e Jun C
c.. partner Thoy both tnns 10 the a
s 1,ssx Catholic church. "nllo tao n
guests waited in the c'feh the bride d
way being arrayed a wedding
ceremony at her 70 er's house, at Z
Battery place. sbwas dressed in a n
white satin gov and wore a long 81
white veil, WITT pearl necklace and v
diamond penrat. The Rev. Father a!
t, prieR OF the Greek ii
catholic cesregat!on, performed the g
ceremony He wore a crown on his +
head ana long robe Of gold cloth that D.
to the ankles. AS the bride f.
md sr rather walked up the aisle is
he- were preceded by little flower e:
ape follow ed by the bridesmaids re
Ae ushers, all varying lighted can n,
AT the ch&A eel the bridegroom
epped forward. aad the father handed
IS daughter owe tn him. The bride p'
DOM led the bride to the front OF the OF
tar, and the priest began chanting u
70 marriage service in Arabic. He pl
'ked them If they were willingly en- OF
ring into the marriage state, and al
men they both answered in the af- NJ
NATIVE two Of the ushers held golden va
owns over their heads. while the Z.
lest took two gold rings from a Sill Al
r tray held by an attendant and 81
aced them on the fourth fingers Of cl
9 left hands Of the couple. The GER al
1ony over, many Of the guests ac-
mpanied the newly married couple l.,
their home, where a feast" had been ~,
epared. Mr. and Mrs. Macksoud went ~
washington on a bridal trim -,
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16

To quit tobacco easily and forever, be mag
netic. full OF life, nerve and vigor, take MOTTO
BAG, the wonder worker, that makes weak men
strong. All druggists, SOC or 81. Cure euaran.
teed. Booklet and sample free. Address
Sterling Remedy Co. Chicago or New York.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16

quickly recover their strength If treated with
Eeohafol Golden Eye Lotion. BlooGshot. infam-
nation and soreness are relieved without nain
II one day. Cools, heals and strengthens. ms: st
on naVing "Leonardt's." 1t makes strong ewes,
uuaranteed or money refunded. Druggists sell
a 20 Gus. or forwarded prepaid on receipt OF
price by 5. Is. Leonard & Co. Tampa. Fla.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16

"Nata Mosquffo" (yvintersnfth,s
: Famous South American Mosquito Perfume
Is a wonderful perfume used by south Anari,
cans. A few drops rubbed on hands, face and
arms Keeps mosquitoes away. At Druggists or
mailed toany address on receipt Of retail price
Two sizes III and rs cents. Address Arthur
Peter d Co., Louisville, Ky.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16

PIso's Cure cured me of a throat and lung
tIoupie OF three years standing.-E. CADY,
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16

Fits permanently cured. No nts or neryons
Dess after frstday's use of DR.. kline's Great
Nerve Hestorer. &2trial bottle and treatise free
DIR. r.. II. KLINE. Ltd. &l Arch st., PnlIa, "a
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16

II you have itch, %tetter, eczema, rlngworm or
other skin disease, you can cure you rself with
Iettcrine. No need of a doctor. Sold Ey drug
R1sts for 5Octs. a box, or sent by mail prepaid for
Doc. * stamps by j. Il. Shuptrtne. Savannah. Ga,
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16
Ho-To-Bao sor Fifty ce,,s.

Man once alto the cream, but now they Gre
mate the man.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16

Albert Burch, West Toledo. ohio. says,
Halls catarr h cure saved my life" Write
1m for particulars. Sold by druggists, .5c,
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16

knowledge is power only to the individual
b Knows he doesn't know it all.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16

To the deaf and dumb man actions speak
louder than words.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-09-16

Educate Your Bowels with Cascarets.
Candy Cathartic, cure constipation forever.
ACC. &c. nc foil. druggists refund money,