The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1899-08-18

SAssAFRAs JUNGLE, which is
betwixt Hickory Grove 4 C
Hooppole township, near
Wooden-shoe Tp., Ind.

T.
Ma. NEwsPAPERNAS, to-vis II
am informed by my cousin, the
doodlebug, that those 400 dollar
lawyers Of Jasper are on a new scent
to get another law suit and another
fee. They are investigating the
books Of the county clerk and his
predecessor. They will find them
two clerks about one hundred
thousand dollars short the first
time. They have to find them
short or there wouldn't be no law
suit, and no fee To swell their bank
accounts.
Now, Mr.. Nrwspap7rman, when
nv friend Senator Bigheart soda
ran agin Dutch Gus for leader OF
the county orchestra, the legisla-
ture, or a you call it the county
council. he said early and late in
the day and early and late at night,
open the books. He said it ON the
hill tops Of Hall and he said it in
the hollows Of Boone, and he said
it in the flats of Patoka where
Dutch Gus's stronghold was, open
the books. He hollered it, he sang
il, he shouted it, open the books.
He shouted it across the street at
YOU, open the books, and then he
would take you into an alley and
whisper il into your ear, open the
books.
That kind Of action aroused the
Jasper Court House Ring to reac-
ton to save Dutch Gus's bacon. 1t
is ancient history, but it is good
history, that the Ring beat Senator
B.gheart Soda so bad that he hasn't t
recovered yet sufficiently to know
where he is at and what office he
should run for next. The log roll
Ter too was somewhat nonplused,
for he has not vet made up his
mind what side TO fiopon the Ring
side or the PeOpleside. The Doo-
dle-bug l. still haw-hawing over the
great victory. But the Ring was
shook up anyway by the Senator
Bighaart Soda, and the Ring con-
cluded that one more such tigh;
would end in lynching or some
thing equally monstrous. So they
concluded to clean up. LIAR liar
lar big liar, bigger liar, biggest
iiar' cannot win an election very
often, especially when it j. waged
agin Senator Bigheart Soda, for the
Senator will tell stories, but lies,
never. And the people Of Dubois
county, that il the common stuff,
knows that Senator Bigheart Soda
Is, though frequently effervescent,
vet an honest reliable and efficient
friend OF the common people, who
il much too big a man for Auditor
Of Dubois county, but who ought to
be and will be governor OF the state
Of Indiana, Ring or no Ring.
This l. the primary reason why
the Jasper Court house Ring is
cleaning house, and why the 400
dollar town lawyers are seeking a
job and are examining the books.
They first examinsd the ex-
trea~urer's books, and found him
short 5000 dollars, and he paid up
without making any fuss about it or
getting into the papers. And
Dutch Gus even defended him in
the papers, saying that the editor Of
the Argus was one-eyed phool for
saying anybody was short.
The next victim was the sheriff.
He was found to be 20OO dollars
short, that is by those 400 dollar
town lawyers. He did not pay up,
because according to his figgers the
town lawyers are mistaken, and he
says they were only seeking job.
The next victims are the clerk
aud hi. predecessor. How many
hundred thousands those two are
-hor- remains to be seen. More
Jobs.
And the next victim will be his
honor, Dutch Gus. But he will
have time enough to fix himself up
into an impregnable position.
Dutch Gus j. fellow whom Peter
loves TO contemplate.
He is big. stout, good lookin',
sharp. and has lots Of COM
mon sense. But like most big fell
lows he has fatty degeneration OF
the heart and suckers feed on him,
and thus keep his nose on the grind
stone. \
Mr.. Newspaperman, let Dutch
Gus and Senator Bigheart Soda
make the race for governor, and il
either one gets there, the state Of
Indiana will be in good hands and
need not be ashamed Of its govern
on.
Dubois county furnished the ma
ton with the great and only rura.
md the nation has been
paralyzed ever since, 80 much so,