The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-05-31
The GOD FROM THE MACHINE.
Bv RUDYARD KIPLING.
Hit man an help woman, an you can't be
far wrong anyways
-Maxims Of Private Mulvaney.

-Maxims Of Private Mulvaney.
The Inexpressibles gave ball They
borrowed FOUNDER from the gunners
and wreat thed it with laurels and made
the dancing floor plate glass and pro-
vided a supper the like Of which had
never been eaten before, and set two
sentries at the door of the room to hold
the trays and programme cards. Ny
friend Private Mulvaney was one OF
the sentries, because he was the tallest
man in the regiment When the dance
was fairly started, the sentries were re-
leased. and Private Mulvaney fed to
curry favor with the mess sergeant in
charge of the supper Whether the mess
sergeant gave or Mulvaney took 1 can
not say. AL that I am certain of is
that at supper time I found Mulvaney
with Private Ortheris, two-thirds of a
ham, a loaf of bread, half pate de foie
gras and two magnums of champagne
sitting on the roof Of my carriage As
came up heard him saying:
sPraise be danst doesn't come as
often as ord'ly room, or, by this an
that. Orth 'ris, my son, wud be the
dishgrace ay the rig'mint instid av the
brightest jool in uts crown. +"
Gland the colonel's pet noosince,
said Ortheris, who was a Londoner.
.sBut wot makes you curse your ra-
tions2 This ERE 6zzy stuf's good
enough.
"Stuf, you oncivilized paginl Tis
champagne we're dhrinkin now. 'Tisn' t t
that am set ag'in. 'Tis the quare stuff
wild the little bits av black leather in
it. I misdoubt will be distressin' 'ly
sick wild it in the mornin Fwhat IS
uS?"
ssGoose liver" l said, climbing on
the top of the carriage, for I knew that
it was better to sit out with Mulvaney
than to dance many dances
eeGoose liver. is ut?" said Mulvaney.
.sFaith, I m thinkin thin that makes ut
wud do betther to cut up the colonel
He carries power av liver undher his
right arrum whin the days are warm an
the nights chill He wud give thin tons
an tons av liver 'Tis he sez so. I'm
all liver today, sez he, an wild that he
ordhers me ten days G. B. for as mold
dhrink as iger good sodger TUX be-
tune his teeth. ;.
seThat was when e wanted for to
wash 'isself in the fort ditch, Ortheris
explained "Said there was too much
beer in the barrack water butts for a
God fearing man You was lucky in git
tin OFF with wot you did, Mulvaney.
'.You say sos Now I'm persuaded l
was cruel hard trated, seein fwhat I've
done for the likes av him in the days
whin my eyes were wider opin than
they are now Man alive, for the colo
mel to whip me on the peg in that way!
Me that have saved the reputation av a
ten times better man than himl Twas
ne-farious. an that names power av
evil"
ssNever mind the righteousness, l
said. "Whose reputation did you saver
s.More's the pity. 'twasn't my own,
but tux more trouble wild ut than if
ut was. Twas just my way, messin
wild fwhat was no business av mine.
Hear nowl' He settled himself at ease
on the top of the carriage ''I'u tell you
all about ut. Av coorse will name no
names, for there's wan that's an orr
GERS lady now that was in ut. an no
more will l name places. for man is
thracked by place.
"Eyahr' said Ortheris lazily. But
this is mixed story wot's comm. "
"Wanst upon time, as the childer
books say. I was recruity. "
'Was you. thought said Ortheris.
..Now that's extraordinary!
"Orth 'ris, said Mulvaney, "av you
opin thin lips av yours again I will,
savin your presince, sorr, take you by
the slack az your trousers an heave
you.
"Im mum" said Ortheris. 'tWot
'appened when you was recruity 2"
ssI was betther recruity than you
iver was or will be, but that's neither
here nor there. Thin | became man,
an the diyil Of man / was Is years
ago. They called me Buck Mulvaney in
thin days, an, begad, TUX woman's 8
eye. I did thatl Orth 'ris, you scrub,
fwhat are you sniggerin at? Do you
misdoubt met
'Devil Doubt" said Ortheris. ''But
I've card summat like that before. y
Aiulvaney dismissed the impertinence
with a lofty wave Of his hand and con-
tinued
can the OFF GERS av the rig mint l
was in in thin days was Off Gers
grand men, wild manner on 'em an a
way wild 'em such as is not made these
davs-all but wan-wan av the capt ms.
A bad dhrill, wake voice, an limp
leg-thim three things are the signs av
bad man. You bear that in your hid,
Orth ris, my son.
can the colonel av the rig mint had
a daughter-wan av thin lamblike,
bleatin, pick me up an carry me or l Il
die gurls such as was made for the nat
ural prey av men like the capt'n who
:,orI,r@;n Do,-ip coort tO her