The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1899-10-25
A ROLL OF RED TAPE.
THE clRcUMLocUTIoN OF THE ENG
LISH PosToFFlcE.

THE ClRCUMLOCUTlON OF THE ENG
LISH POSTOFFICE.
TRAY yeIings and Troubles of n Citizen
tempt to Mail Little Package For
Delivery In New York.
In this greatest Of all cities, London,
there is place called st. Martins lie
Grand, and in st. Martins lie Grand
there is an institution which fills both
sides Of the street and in which every
man, woman and child Of these blessed
islands has more or less Of peculiar
interest. 1t is called the general post
Office and is presided over by the latest
of long line of illustrious dukes and is
really very great concern indeed.
Well, l went there the other day.
did not go on some extraordinary er-
rand did not wish to worry the duke
or to disconcert the officials with ques-
tions as to the rules and regulations.
AS matter Of fact, went to post a
packet Of photographs.
Now, it is remarkable fact that al
though l have lived in London for q
good many years had never previous
ly posted anything at the general post
office l should not have done so on
this occasion but for the fact that the
clerk at my local office had got q more
than usually acute attack Of asininity
and could not tell me for the life Of
him what to do to get my modest pack
ct Of photographs off by that evenings
mail to New York.
It wanted just five minutes to the
closing time for the American mail
when arrived. hot and breathless
with my rapid walk, in st. Martins lie
Grand. wanted three things, my par
eel weighed. the necessary stamps and
information as to where to post it.
Now, at most postoffices when you re-
quire stamps you make your way to q
door in the immediate vicinity Of the
posting slots, where you find the room
devoted to their SALE
Not SO ut the London general post
Office. approached the nearest door.
A red braided official sitting on sack
asked what wanted.
STAMPS" said.
you'll get them in the building
across the street." he answered.
DodginS across the street therefore,
at the usual risk Of life which attends
such 4 performance in this greatest Of
all cities, ran into room and up to q
long counter. and, seeing close at hand
a notice bearing tie legend, Late fee.
foreign parcels" made for it and ask
ed the clerk to kindly tell me how
much that would take"
He told me to apply half way down
the counter did SO. and. after
weighing my packet, another clerk told
me it would take two penny halfpcn-
ny stamp.
"And the late fee:" queried.
ooh. do you want it to so by this
mail? Oh all right. Another halfpen-
n.y."
"Where must post it::' asked.
"Outside. across the street" he re-
piled.
Glancing at the clock. rushed out
and. diving across the thcroushfare
began a careful study OF the various
posting slots to discover which particu-
lar one was for the reception Of late fee
packets for the foreign mail. studied
in vain, and catching sight Of another
red braided official in q corner, / asked
him to direct me. After Il look at my
packet he said:
"Eand it over the counter across the
street"
With remark not loud, but, deep, |
once moge lodged the traffic. charged
up the steps. upsctting two men and q
boy on the way, and thrust my parcel
over that brass railing which the au-
thorities with much prudence and fore
sight have instituted in these establish
ments obviously to protect the so call
cd officials from the righteous fury or
an outraged public.
"What is it," asked the clerk.
II assure you," replied, chat this is
q packet Of photographs, tied round
with string and directed to New York." ;"
"Well you must post it across the
street." he said.
Steeling myself TO a frishtful calm
ness. explained to him that had al
ready been three times across the
street over that same packet, but that
nevertheless l would chcerfully cross
it q dozen times if the regulations or
her majestys service so directed. He
seemed hurt little at my remarks, but
finally asked to have closer look at
the packet. At last:
Take it to the other end of the coun-
ter" he directed, land ask the man
there"
i did so, and, after answering one or
two further assinine queries as well as
my trembling sanity would allow, 1t
was accepted, and so at last succeed
ed in posting packet of photographs
to New York.