The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-08-14
EPISTLES TO ST. PAUL.

-A'1n, Aepiieo the COmplacenC Cnump.
| What was that?"
I why, this Dreyfus trial doesn't seem
to be so dry, after ALL
| Pa" said the little Zebidee boy, do
sood people go to circuses?"
them
D.. DO bad people go?"
Then that makes them all good peo-
pie, doesn't it?'
Why, no, not necessarily
| All bad people?"
| NO. The attendance of one person
at a circus has nothing to do with the
morals of another
Fhen, pa, what's the sense OF that
Ola saying, "A man is known by the
company he keeps? -
The Journalist" produced a note
| book.
| Excuse me- said the statesman, ST
have nothing to say for publication
But this is not for publication, but
| merely as a guarantee of good faith.
now much did you really pay for your
| seat IN the United States senator"
q -
They are making a great how-de-do
over the fact that the Rudyard KipIing
refused $1,000 for eight lines
| Eyes"
Wen, John D. Rockefeller can write
elght lines that he would not take a
million dollars for"
understand" said the imperialist
crank serenely, chat you are a traitor
70 your country; that you don't support
the administration.
| Don't I?' ne replied, merrily. 'sThat's
Wiiere your are off, old man." and he lick
eu another revenue stamp and affixed it
to bank check
have here said the plutocrat, lone
OF the finest buildings in the CITY"
Yes, answered the man with a far
away look
The furnishing of this one room we
are sitting in cost $1,000"
l. don't doubt it,
$3.50, OOO.'' u '0'' Soiiie'iihs IKE
Il should judge about that"
excuse me, amt you the ASSESSOR"
wen. to be candid with you. I am"
les. Well, [ have had to put a blan-
net mortgage on the whole propertv for
JUST tilac amount in order to build it,
beIore the late war Col. Pond was a
ete1C sucker for the professional ethics
Vi the army Some people used to refer
lidue their references at a comfortablo
Instance from headquarters Since tho
wal however, he has become n tr,Ae
more Ienient towards offenders. an1 nj
tiInes now is willing to take circur,.
stances into consideration in administer
llIs ms rebukes. The change was
brought about by an experience that tho
colonel underwent at Mobile, Ala. when
the troops were being concentrated for
the Cuban invasion
When Mobile was selected as a con-
centration point, Col Pond was ordered
down and took charge of the camp. AS
each new regiment came In he as
Slsneu the quarters, and never failed to
lecture the volunteer officers and men
on the niceties of their profession No
man escaped his notice that failed to so
lutte the cOIors
In the midst Of the coIonePs busy season
there arrived in camp the First Texae
volunteers. regiment that paid less al
Ientlon TO form than any of the Others.
WIN the intention of having the South
erhers close at hand in order to derive
benefit from his lectures. Col Pond as
signed quarters close to the headquar-
ters tent. Then he put in all his snare
time checking up little irregularities
II make soldiers of you yet'' he
would remark ios some -staIwart Texan
cdusht fed-handed, as it were, WITH an
One afternoon it was very warm o,,z IN
the privacy of his tent Col. Pond diveste5
hlrnseH OF his coat and settled down In
ENJOY a cigar. He was Just comfortable
settled when an orderly rushed in from
the Texas colonel with a message TO the
effect that Col. Ponds presence was i'm
LneulaleIy desired. Something was evil
dehtly wrong, and the colonel rushed
out in the direction of the Texans without
waiting for formalities. He made
straight for the Southern colonels tent
rushed past the colors, and was lust
ABOUT TO enter when he was stopped by
the sentinel
Halt" Numbered the private.
The colonel looked bewildered br,t
thought the Texan had made a mistake
and scored up lecture for some future
time He was about to pass on. when
the command to halt came again in no
uncertain tone. The colonel paused.
Now, go back and salute the colors.'
demanded the sentry, enforcing his order
with menacIng bayonet
Four travelling men sat on the sidewalk
in front of the Windsor the other night
telling stories. The man who smoked
stogies had just finished somnambulfst
tale.
Reminds me of what the pickpocket
said to his fellow prisoner" commented
BLOSSOM.
What was that?'
81 am here, gentlemen" he said Gas
the result of a moment of abstraction"
The pun fell with dull sickening thud
But the man who smoked stogies camc
to the front again.
Like the incendiary. eh? There is
some similarity. He was there because
of his habit of making light of things"
The blossomy man refused to be 81
lent
But did you also hear about the
forger?"
No Why?".-
HE was there on account of a simple
desire to make name for himself"
The man with the stogie meditated.
That reminds me Of the burglar" he
casually remarked. There was a three
minute stage wait and the man who liked
apple jack gave way to curiosity
f'Why?" .,-,.a
LAS he said, through nothing but TAX
ing advantage of an opening which Of
fered in a large. mercantile establish
ment." rr
The blossomy man had departed, leav-
Ing wide, far-reaching void.
The clerks at the, Northern Pacific are
telling another one on Assistant General
Passenger Agent Craig, who is at times
somewhat absept-minded. In the routine
of the ngers1department business
there are thousands of letters every
month to be considered and answered.
These are received by the clerks, opened
and placed at the disposal of the passen-
ger agents. In turn they are referred to
the head of the department, chief clerk
or other officials.
While at the Office one hot day, busy
with an immense pile of accumulated
correspondence, a messenger arrived and
hastily entered the assistant passenger
agents room.
Il have just come from the house. Mr..