The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-02-23
HITS AND STRIKES.

Ipicked up the following advertise
ment the other day, and as l am look
ing for another job, and think 1 could
fill the requirements, wish somebody
would send mo the address where to
apply, as that portion had accidentally
been torn off:
Wanted-An editor who can read, write and
argue politics, and at the same time be religious,
please everybody; know all that is going on
without seeing or being told, also having some
thing good to say about somebody else; live on
wind and make more money than enemies. For
! such man good opening will be made.
In addition to the above, 1 can do all
kinds of plain and fancy printing, esti
mate on job-work and write poetry.
My terms are 1915 per week in trade
1 hope somebody will send me that adj
dress.
Gen. Alger fell up against section
of the national cold wave and marble
heart combination in Boston the other
day. would rather be in jail than to
have the love and respect of my coun-
try like Alger has it.
Those people "half devil and half
child" will be quite an improvement
on the American citizen who is half
devil and half thief, and who is just at
present industriously organizing the
industries of the country into a con-
spiracy to starve most of his country
men to death.
~
1t is fact that "united" and "un.
tied" are two words which have a fam.
lily resemblance.
TX
There is proposition being preached
to recruit large army of negroes to
subdue the Philippines with. Why
not? Didn't the "Mother Country"
engage Indians to suppress the colonists
in '76. We can always find strong
precedents in England, and then there
is woodward Kripling with his immOrt-
al lay to give tone to the performance
Since the formation of the print pa
per trust all the newspapers who are
being mulcted by it are advocating the
free admission of paper into the coun.
try. Would it it not be just as fair to
advocate the free admission of any
other commodity controlled by the
| trusts.
| Spain has taken another stab at us
| by ordering the release of 5000 Flip
pino cOnvjcts confined on the Caroline
islands, evidently in the hope that they
will return to their homes to swell the
insurgent ranks. In this connection it
is noticeable that Spain has as yet not
made any move to release Cuban pris
oners.
*
Grover Cleveland says the country is
running to hades with all switches open,
and most of the other statesmen say:
| Poh, pOh! 1 once saw some wOrkmen
changing building, and they had it
up on jackscrews, when along came an
old building contractor who looked at
the job and said: "Look out boys;
that wall is going to fall!' The boys
merely said: "Poh, POP Shortly after
ward the wall fell on them. Then they
didn't say anything.
Three corpses have been found on
the north side of the Chicago river,
and kilograms say that they are those
of Andree and his two companions,
who went after pole in balloon. The
country where the bodies were found
is inhabited by Tunguses, which sounds
bad. Any thing coming from the
| neighborhood of the Chicago river
should either be embalmed or else ia
ken with considerable salt.
Several members of the legislature of
Kansas, having decided to get shave,
have introduced and passed bill to
make 10 cents the maximum price for
one.