The times., 1899-11-26
PRESS AGENTS. ROUND TABLE

Apparently there is no limit to the num-
Der Of stories constructabIe on the founda-
tion OF absent -mindedness- Since the pub
LEGATION Of the primal few in this column.
every other visiting press agent seems to
feel it his duty to add to the list and the
result is some dozens that have been 4 ed
away already. Samuel Goodfriend who IS
drawing on his imagination in behaf Of
The Cuckoo. Is responsible for the lat So,
which he tells on Joseph Holland Ac-
c0rding TO this modern NuEchausen. the
actor was visited recently by a cousin
from Philadelphia, and the two went OCT
together TO dine. Mr.. Holland volunteering
to pilot his relative into one Of the -sTe-F
restaurants of Gotham. The two landed
at Shauley's and the guest was handed
menu card.
The gentleman from the Quaker City
looked over this for several minutes in
evident search Of something Meanwhile
sir. Holland supplied the waiter with his
own order end drummed a sJanza OF the
most recent coon song on the table
cloth The servitOr stood by respc tflly.
Finally Mr.. Hollands companion turned
TO Lt-n, saying My dear fellow is this
what you call swell restaurant Whys
they haven't even shad roe on the bill
fare,"
Haven't they?" replied the player. tx
ing another glance at the neatly pr %tea
list. That's veTy-yss they have. Here
il IS; directly before your eyes
The Philadelphian smiled ackuOwIedS-
ment and iOtted the name Of the dish and
its style on his tablet The waiter dlsap-
peared. Tnen the cousin ban laughing
heartily DO you know why [ couldn't
find that2" he asked Well, / WaS--I
was uot searching under the head Of fish,
I was reading down the Eggs column"
To which Mr. Goodfriend adds SO many
apologies for the man from the "BrCtherly
Love town that one cannot help suspect
ing that he himself was the hero Of the IN
cident-
A ne-looling. former newspaper man,
named Harry Fulton. represented the IN
Jerests Cf Arizona" last week in this city
and made friends a deal faster than does
the average advance agent. In common
with most literary folk, Mr. Fulton
shoulders bend a little and their owner
seems Just a trife sensitive on this point
Someone twfttzd him on the subject Friday
and drew forth the following LInc0lnesque
explanation:
Just before Augustus Thomas play was
produced" Cuoth he. i was out IN the
state after which il was captIoned My
health had not been overly good. and i was
making an effort 90 combine business with
pleasure I was quartered at certain
border fort and became much interested
in several OF the characters there rms
was especially true in the case Of an lrisn-
man. a great hulking fellow called 5eFry
OBrien. The object Of my attention had
been In the service only few weeks, anu
he was not yet out OF the drilling squad
From this arose much Of the hUmor OF
the situation. for JerTy's Subjective vas
in command OF a fve-feet-six corporal
whom the recruit seemed to obey with any
thing but pleasure. There never we're hos-
tHItfes between the two, discipline iorpld-
ding but many were the sharp verbal s1Iif-
mishes.
cone of these came or in my hearing
O'Brien had been in bad humor an the
morning and his maneuvres had been any
thing but perfect. He had presented arms
with one thumb dangerously near the
muzzIe OF his gun. had ordered arms az
the expense OF the toes OF his neighb0r.
and had come seriously near damaging my
own face with his bayonet. Worst OF all,