The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1899-02-11
AT Cross Purposes

once Crushngton Cher daughter), Is: TIT
tums Cher htten). months: Hon. George
Hilton, 49,
Scene: Mrs. Crushingtons drawing
ROOM Mrs. c. and her daughter are chat
ting.
Mrs. Gle hasn't called yet. He
lVl can't be going to disappoint US!
And I told them TO say was not at
home to anyone else.
Flor.-How nice of you, mother dear!
Mrs, C.-My dear child. you are very
! good to say so, even when there is dam
/ ger OF our not admitting Frank Romer.
Flor.-I don't care for Frank Romer.
Mrs. C.-Dont you, really? Then you
needn't have given him four dances at
/! the county ball.
! Flor.-Now, Madame Propriety, don't
! throw stones, or shall bring YOU to
book for dancing two sets of Lancers,
/! and-yes, actually-one waltz with the
! Honorable George at that self-same
4, ball. AT your age, too! Pm quite
ashamed of you. When he calls this
| afternoon l shall give him good
scolding.
| Mrs. C.-Florencc, you are too flip
| pant.
; Flor.-So is Tittums, and so are you.
We're all ilippant? Aren'twe, Tittums?
! Tit.-Mew! NEW!
Mrs. C.-When George Hilton arrives
F., perhaps you would not mind leaving us
! alone for few minutes?
Flor.-I was just about 10 ask you
| whether you couldn't find some prcteXt
| for being called away.
! Mrs. CT?
! Flor.-Well, you know, it's difficult
when the dragon is present
Mrs. C.-The dragon-difiicult! What
on earth do you mean?
: Flor.-I mean that he might feel awli-
! ward even before you, dearest. Give
me ten minutes.
Mrs. C.-You absurd child! Ha, ha, 1
begin to see. And so you actually have
| the effrontery to presume that our ex-
pected caller is coming here to propose
for your hand?
Flor.-Well, what else could as
sumo? If not, why all this planning
and scheming to get him here alone?
Mrs. C.-Florence l am widow.
Flor-Yes. and very respectable
one. You'll be antique presently.
Mrs. CT am on the sunny side Of
forty.
Flor-The days are getting terribly
short, don't you think?
Mrs. C.-Aly glass tells me that am
still not devoid of attractions.
| Flor.-Matronly attractions.
Mrs. C.-You yourself need fathers
advice and counsel.
Flora husbands.
| Mrs. C.-No, a fathers. hope to be
able TO present you with such father
! i'll
Flor-Gcorge Hilton?
Mrs. C.-Thc same.
Flor.-You absurd mother! Now
begin to understand. And so you ac-
tually have the cffrontery to assume
Mrs. C.-silence, will you!
Flor.-No, won't!
Mrs. C.-To have ones child turn
upon one! It's unnatural!
Flor.-That mother should try to
mar her daughters prospects-it's
abominable.
Mrs. CA mere chit like you!
,, Young enough to be his daughter!
Flor.-And you might have been his
mother!
Tit.-Mew, newt
Flor.-What does it want the dear?
Mrs. C.--Your kitten thinks it's near
ten time. You can have yours in the
breakfast-room
Flor.-I shall have mine here.
Mrs. Csc you insist7
Flor.-I do insist.
Mrs. C.-You will spoil the game for
| US both.
Flor.-I didn't know Mr.. Hilton was
| pheasant!
Mrs. every well! shall tell them
not to admit him.
FIor.-You are too late, my lady. BE
is coming up the stairs.
Mrs. C.-Those electric bells!
"a servant announces "The Hon.
George Hilton.")
Mrs. C.-My dear Mr.. Hilton, how
good of you to keep your promise!
Flor.-And a promise made in the
| park. TOO.
HILL am most pleased to find you
| in. All, that beautiful Persian kitten!
(Coaxing it.)
Tit.-Mew, new!
Mrs. C.-Ard Won iowa kittens?