Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-09-17

hope there is some justification for in
dulgng i'm the sport on Sunday, but I'm
glad my legs and piety bar me.
The inmates of female seminaries and
the members of sewing circles and semi
circles have frequently condemned ne
because at times I have undertaken 10
describe woman as she is at home-curl-
papers. calico shirt-waists ragged shoes
and all-but now and then l think l have
mighty good cause 10 grumble.
The individuals who use hair-pins are
by no means backward in peclng at my
sex and giving us mcsquito-like Mrs,
which though mighty small, are ire
mendously irritating. l note the fol-
| lowing from a Texas paper, which seems
| to put US in the same category with
kitchen utensils and other articles Of
! domestic utility:
Mrs. -, Of Texas, at a literary re-
| union in a certain town in Texas, toasted
! the gentlemen as follows:
| God bless 'em. They halye our joys,
they double our sorrows, they treble our
| expenses. they quadruple our cares, they
| excite our magnanimity, they increase
| our self-respect they awake our enthu-
| siasm. they arouse our affections, they
| control our property, and out-manoeuYre
MS in everything. This would be a very
drearv world without EN-; in fact, ! may
say without EN- it would not be much
of a world, anyhow. We love en-, ana
| the dear beings can't help it, we control
| 'em, and the precious fellows don't KNOW
| It, As husbands they are always con-
| venient. though not always on hand; as
beaux they are by no means matchiess;
! thoy are agreeable visitors; they are
| handy at the Dallas fair, and indispen-
| sable at oyster saloons. They are splehdld
| for escorts FOR some other fellows Wile
| or sister. and as friends they are iar
| better than women. As our fathers, they
! are inexprcssibly grand. A man may De
! a failure in business, wreck IN consul
| tuition. not enough 10 boast or as d
| beauty. nothing as a wit, less than no
| thing as q legislator for woman's rights,
and even not very brilliant as member
| of the press. but if he is our father we
overlook his shortcomings and cover his
piccadnloes with the divine mantle oi
| charity. Then. as our husbands, how
We love to parade them as parasons' III
the sublime language of the inspired poet
Wen lie for them,
Wen cry for them,
And il we could we'd fly for them
wed anything but die for them.
|
The thing about this article which par
tlcularly strikes me is the poem which
concludes the case Of assault and pat
terry. There's a lot of truth in 1t. You
couldn't get one woman TO own up I.
another that her husband was deac
failure-nO, not even If you Drlbed mel
with a new parlor carpet or the Inaterla
, for silk-lined petticoat. When in thell
, own class the memorable tyrant'
proclaim our achievements with all the
cxaggerativeness which a woman car
command in a rapd-fire conversation
with her next-dOOr neighbOr. l, even 1
the yeriest domestic worm that ever
crawled indoors at / A. NJ, have occa
siopally caught echoes OF praises Una
were lavished upon me by the queen De
I'm her talks with less favored sisters
Mind ,,ou | use the word occasionally.
I don't say these Mandatory echoes reacl
. me often. | merely intimate That suci
things have happened In my life. An'
ono thing | do know. The Commander
in-Cbief may be a matrimonial porcuplh
when I'm about and regular chlhhapih
bu,r for me to handle, but know
darn well that she's not the woman t'
slt around and twirl her thumbs WING
the other gals are blowing ana lnduisihl
i'm braggadoclo. II they get 10 tNa5Bc
rating and clustering about their hus
r bopds and their big salaries ana thcl
% ~ dcods il doesn't take her many
minutes 10 slap me in the piesldei,l'ia
riaes and extol me TO the skies. Iher'
NO heen times when George Dewey
, virtues paIed into insign'ficance whei
/ comnored 10 mine. Not often, repea,
NOT often, but there are women VINO 81, 81,
make affidavit 20 what ! say. Al ~
,,orla knows I'm an amiable man any
{ how (amiability is an apologellc term ap
piled TO idiots. but AROUND my 70
- Indeed. | wouldn't feel quite a
= borac II weren't compared TO a barp
wire fence or the seven years itch or VA
g plaques of Egypt What riles me u IN
. knowledge Of the fact that me sam !,
1 woman who before my face puts n'o q