The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-07-16
AN UNLUCKY FAKE TELEGRAM.
CAPT. BRADY RELATES A MILITARY
EXPERIENCE ON THE FRONTIER.

CAPT. BRADY RELATES A MILITARY
EXPERIENCE ON THE FRONTIER.
1t Happened Nine Years Ago When
the Sioux Indians Were Giving
Trouble on the Pine Ridge Reser-
vatiOn-suferinG for Want of Ex-
element He Posted Fake Dis
patch From the Seat of War That
Came Near Causing Trouble.
In December, 1880, the Sioux Indians
again broke loose from their reservation
at Pine Ridge and all of the available men
of the pitifully small but gallant United
States army were hurriedly rushed north
wards to give them a smash that would be
convincing and lasting. There was the
Seventh Cavalry, Clusters old command,
the Sixth and Ninth Cavalry, the First,
Second and Seventeenth Infantry, the late
lamented and gallant Capron's flying bat
terry of artillery, besides others. The cam
paign was short, sharp, brilliant and de-
cisive. The Indians were lambasted into
a semblance of order, and that personifca-
ton of deviltry, Sitting Bull, given nis
transportation to the happy hunting
grounds.
My regiment the Eighteenth Infantry,
was too far away 10 go, and besides the
Rio Grande frontier, with Senior Garza and
mis- band, proving around loose could not
be left unprotected.
During all these trying times my tele-
graph Office at Fort Clark was naturally
the center of interest and I had made an
arrangement with the chief operator in
San Antonio. TO send me bulletins of any
important news 1 always made two cop
les, posting one on. the bulletin board in
front of my office, and delivering the other
to the colonel in person.
Soldiers are very lOquacious as a rule
Go into a squad room at any time, the
men are off duty, and you can hear a lis
cussion on almost any old subject from
the result of a coming przedght to the
deepest question of the Bible and theology
One morning. shortly after Wounded
Knee, with its direful results, had been
fought, l thought il would be a great joke
to post a startling bulletin, just to start
the mems tongues a wagging. So | wrote
the following:
"BulIetin."
"San Antonio, Tex, 1925, 1890 Report
ed that Sixth and Ninth Cavalry We're am
DuSCdNeu yesterday bN DlOuA luuldnSt uii-
der Crazy Horse, and completely wiped
out of existence. Clusters Little Big Horn
massacre outdone. Not a man escaped"
1 chuckled with fiendsh glee as 1 posted
this On the bulletin board and then start
ed for breakfast. l thought some sol
der would read it, tell it to his company,
and in this way the fun would commence
Ny scheme worked to perfection, because
some men of G company mine was d.
had seen me post it and had to come post
haste 90 read. I started the fun in my
own company, and in about minute there
were fifty men all jabbering like magpies
as 10 the result of this awful massacre.
OF course, the regiment would be hurried
north. No other regiment could do the
work of humiliation so well as the Eight
zenith. Oh! No, of course, not!
By this time the news had spread and
the entire barracks were talking Just
as l was about to tel them il was a
fake. I happened to glance toward my cap
flee, and, holy smoke! there was my cap
tain standing on his tiptOes Che was only
five feet four reading that COMPOUNDED bull
letn. l hadn't counted on any of the
officers reading it. Generally they didn't
get up until O'Clock and by that time
would have destroyed the fake report.
The officers club was in the same build
ing as my office, and the captain had come
down early, evidently TO get a-to read the
morning paper? (Which came at p. M
and his eye lighted on my bulletin I saw
him read it carefully, and then reaching up
he tore it from the board, and as quick as
his little legs would carry him, he made
a Decline for the commanding officers
quarters. l knew fun well how the colonel
would regard that bulletin If he found out
it was a fake. / was able TO discern a sum-
mary court martial in my minds eye and
that would knock my chances of a com
mission sky highwards, because a mans
military record must be spotless when he
appears for examination What was I to
do. Just then | saw the captain go up the
colonel steps ard in a moment he was adj
mitted. My course was laid out right there
and the wake about TO begin.
A few moments later the commanding
officers orderly came in, and looking
around a minute. caught 5 ght of me and
sad:
Corporal the commanding officer wants
to see you at his quarters a once" and out
he went. start up the band" thought l.
because here's the beginning of parade
in which l am to pay the leading part"
walked as slowly as / could and not APP
pear tagging, but l arrived at my crema-
tory all too soon. l raped on the door and
was bade TO come IN by the old man in
tones that made me shver. The colonel
was standing in the middle of his parlor,
wrapped in a gaudy dressing gown, and in
his hand he held my manged bulletin
Right al that minute wished had never
heard telegraph instrument tick.
Corporal" said the colonel. what time
did you receive this bulletn?"
About six fifteen, sir, Immediately after
reveille," ! replied with face as ex-
pressionless as a mummys.
why did you not bring the bulletin di-
rect to me as you have heretofore done?'
well. sir. didn't think you were
awake yet, and l did not want to disturb
you"
Have you any later news. corporate"
No sir, none, but 1 haven't been back