The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1899-11-12
Mr.. DOOLEY ON POLYGAMY
p Russenl
BY FINLEY II. DUNE.

How nanny wives has this mere man
Roberts that's thryin' to break into Con-
gress?" Mr. Dooley asked.
II dinnaw." said Mr.. Hennessy, 81 nivver
heerd iv him."
II think it's three" said Mr.. Dooley mo
wondher he needs worruk an is fightin'
hard FIR tn job I'm with him too, be
hivens. Not that I'm be taste or inclination
a marryin' man. Hinnissy. They may get
NE to tn altar some day. Tb' best Nv US
falls, like Cousin George. an there ARE
desgnin' women in this very block that I
have me own throubles in dodgin'. But amy
time We hear iv me bein' dhrawn firm tn
quite miseries an exclusive discomforts Nv
single life We may know that they have
caught me asleep an chloroformed me. It's
thrue. But FIR thin that likes it, it's all
Fright, an if q mans done something in
his youth that he has to do pinance FIR an
tn stations Nv tn cross amt sthroug
enough, lave him. says 1. marry NANNY
women as he wants an live with thin an
die con-tint. TIL Mor1nons thinks they ARE
commanded be the Lord FIR to marry all tn
ineligeable Swede women. Now, don't be-
lieve tn Lord liver commanded even a
Mormon FIR to do anything so foolish. an
if he did he wudden't lave tn comma nd
written on pie-plate an burrid out there
at Nauvoo, in Hancock county, Illinye. We
can bet on that, Hinnissy.
but If amy wan believes twas DONE
say, lave him believe it an lave him clasp
to his bosom as nanny Olesons ASH have
him. Sure in tn prisint state iv tn
mathrimonyal market, as Hogan calls it.
whin he goes down to coort tn rich Widow
O'Brien, tn la-ad that wants to engage in
Enterprises iv that sort ought TO have a
frind in ivrywan but tn men that keeps i'm
ployment agencies.
But no. TIL mnyit a Mormon thries TO
break into a political job a obligation rises
an says they: What. they says, permit
this polluted monsther f'r to invade tn
chaste atmosphere they says, Nv tn House
iv Representatives, they says. Permit him
to parade his family down Pinnsylva MIA
avanoo an block thraffic,' they says. Per-
! NIT him mebbe to sit in tn chair wanst
occupied be tn laminted Breckenridge. they
says. An they proceed FIR to hunt tn poor.
crowded man. An he takes a day off to
kiss his wife firm house to house. an holds
meetin' Nv his childer to bid thin good-by
an r-runs to hide in a cave till tn dillyga-
ton ray-mimberS that they have husbands
Nv their own an goes home to cook tn
supper.
"A Mormon, Hipnissy, is a man that has
tn bad taste an TIL relijion to do what a
good nanny other men ARE restrained
| firm dom be conscientious scruples an tn
polls don't want amy wife; we, Hinnissy,
ARE satisfied not to say contint with wan;
! another la-ad feels that he'd be lonesome
| without tin. IT'S a matther iv disposition.
If liver 1 got started tn Lord on'y knows
where I'd bring up. 1 might be like me
| frind an fellow-sultan Hadji Mohammed.
| HadJi has wives to burn. an wanst in
while he BURNS wan. He has betther
| job thin congressman. tn best a congress-
| man can get is forth-class postmasthers
an look In at tn White House On vsitin'
| day. But Hadji, tn poplar an Eloquent
Sultan Nv Sulu an Bazeen Nv Ohio iv tn