The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1899-08-10
JOKERS' BUDGET.
His Pleasant Outing.

Helen (glanclnC at ner Ieel-NO,
dear; l see you don't.-Chicago News.
Sure Way.
81 am just thinking how l can en-
courage my boy to cut out a name for
himself"
Give him sharp knife and school
desk. '-ChicagQ News.
Pleasing Qualities in Men.
(Which sutton are you going to ac-
cept Clarsssa?'
Il caH't decide, to save me, ma,
which l like best-Harry is so timid,
and Jack is so persistent. Puck.
His Good Reason.
Toni guess I'll resign my position
with you, sir.
His Employer-But why do you want
to do that when you are about to be
married?
Tom-Because it's your daughter
that I'm about to be married to.
viii Be the Master.
Miss Passe-I'll feel sorry for the
man who marries that horrid Miss
Ginger. She's got will of her own
Miss Pert-Oh, you needn't waste
sympathy. She's engaged to lawyer,
and it'll be strange if he can't break
it-Philadelphia Record.
A Dead Loss.
Friend presume you physicians
learn to look upon death quite calmly
Doctor-No, we can never do that.
You see, there is no more money to be
got from a patient after he is dead
New York Journal.
Compulsory Art Injustice.
A Visitor-How fond your husband
must be of having his portrait painted?
Doctors Wife-No-he hates it; but
those eleven pictures of him you see
were made by grateful patients who
couldn't pay their bills.-Detroit Free
Press.
Putting On Airs.
Her Particular oYung Man-Why,
you don't seem to have any appetite,
Miss Edith
Her Brother-Oh, amt she, though.
You should have seen her at breakfast
this morning wolfing up the cold sau-
sages.-Ally Sloper
Following the Advice.
Hannah" exclaimed the mistress,
"what do you mean by putting all your
money into mackintoshes, galoshes and
umbrellas?"
Wasn't it yer own advice, mum,
that l put away all could fur rainy
day, mum ?"-Detroit Free Press.
Simply Unaccountabe.
Mother-What. he says you make
him sick? That is both brutal and
vulgar.
Daughter-Yes; and l haven't cooked
him anything but chalotte russes and
cream puffs and jelly tarts ever since
we were marred.-Judge.
Retiring.
First Reporter-I'vc begun this politi-
cal statement by saying that it is on
the authority of n person of the first
Importance.
Second Reporter-Why not give his
name?
First Reporter-I'm too modest
Puck.
Like Its Father.
Charley, dear said young Mrs.
Torkins 1.-The baby is trying to talk
again. ITS wonderful how he takes
after you.''
"What was he talking about"
81 think it must have been politics.
He started very calmly. but in few
minutes he was as angry and red in
the face as he could be-"
Injustice.
'It's an unmitigated libel" exclaimed
the Filipino.
whats the matter"
This writer says we have a lazy
climate TN leave it TO any 'unpreju-
diced thermometer maker and germ
expert to decide if we haven't one of
the most Industrious climates in the
entire gazetteer. "-Washington Star.
Query.
81 should think the FREELY would
get tired lighting his lamps every min
ute" said little Harry.
But he doesn't-he's very patient
and persistent" replied Harry's
nrcQther
THAT maSy be, mamma" said little
Harry, but MSherc does he carry all
his matches?"-Marper's Bazaar.
Her Mistake.
care you afraid to go down stairs
and look for that burglhr?' asked Mr..
Meekton's wife. y,
Certainly not | am perfectly will
ing to 90 and look for him. ABut, Hen
rietta. I'm afraid you have heen max
ing a mistake with me all thelSe years.
You ought to have developed my con-
yersational powers more. Artery find
the burglar | won't know what t" say
TO him. You'll have TO stand at the
head of the stairs and do the talking"
The Inadequacy of Statistics.
''To prove my love" he cried, des-