davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-07-29

A Political YhflOsonher.

Its all right" said the man from Ken
lucky, as he heaved sigh of relief. Il
was little worried at first. But it's all
right"
Il see that the shooting has quoted down
considerably"
THE shooting? Oh. yes. There's bound
to be a little Of that
ut wasn't the shooting that was causing
you uneasiness?'
No. That's merely personal matter be-
tween gentlemen. You can't figure on 1t as
having much effect, if any, on an election.
But was sorry to hear all this talk about
inharmoniOusress among the democrats. 1t
does seem like they're splitting up a great
deal. But I'm reconciled. Let EN- hoist
their banners and bring on their candidates.
If one man amt satisfa ctory to all of EN-
let the kickers get another. The more the
merrier."
ply"
There can't be too much of good
thing
Perhaps not"
We'll, young man, there amt anything
better than a democratic ticket, so let's go
ahead and have many Of EN- as we can
get"
But when it comes to voting?'
Il m fair minded man. and I've got as
good boss as Kentucky ever raised 1t
may take some time getting from place to
place, but I'm going to do my level best
not TO show any partiality.''
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-07-29
VALUE Of A BLUFF.
How 1t Brought About the Recovery
of Fine Diamond.

ANY man who tries to persuade me that
a bluff isn't good thing now and then will
find that 1 am not with him. said a man
prominent in the War Department. 1T was
a bluff that saved me 5000 diamond the
other day, and if a thing like that isn't
calculated to give a man a high estimate
of bluffs, I don't know what is.
Some time ago l was ordered TO go to
Cuba on government business. AS 1 was
to be gone six weeks, l packed everything
in my rooms which happened to be lying
around in the bureau drawers. When /
came back and went through the drawers
again l found to my dismay that my dia-
mond stud was not in the case where L
had left it. 1 distinctly remembered having
put it there, hiding the case beneath some
old socks. l went to my niece and in a
voice fearfully calm told her of the theft.
She was, of course, greatly shocked, but
she began to question me about il. She
suggested that perhaps l had not put it in
the case at all, and that it was probably
lying somewhere in the drawers. l made
some crushing reply, intimating that l
was not in the habit of strewing $500 dia-
monds all over the carpet. l reported the
matter to the police the next day. The
servants were under suspicion, but nothing
was brought to light, and l despaired of
ever recovering it again.
"A couple of days ago, while l was in the
Chinese laundry paying my bill, . bright
idea came to me.
john said, left diamond stud in
the bosom of one of the shirts l sent over
here. You found it, of course. 1t went in
like this l explained, putting an imag-
mary stud in the front of my shirt.
THE celestial seemed not to understand
as his face did not change expression, and
he went on counting, without word.
"1t was just ordinary screw-back
stud that went in So said again going
through the motions.
He shuff1ed around behind the counter for
time. moving the laundry packages on the
shelves. Finally he turned to the cash
drawer, and from 1t tossed out little bun
die of tissue paper.
"'Yat him.? he asked.
"And a new flyer answered Yes
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-07-29
A PICTURESQUE STOWAWAY

zone August afternoon, eight years ago,
1 was standing on the forward deck of the
steamship Comal, waiting for her to back
out of her East river slip and start for
Galveston" said a travelling man. ut was
a busy scene on the dock. The vessel was
due to start in about half an hour, and the
passengers were hhrrying aboard. Last
minute freight was being hauled aboard
and slowed, and the steamers officers were
here, there and everywhere Suddenly my
eyes met those of handsome, auburn
haired young fellow, whose head and broad
shoulders only were visible above big box
of goods on the far side of the dock. See
ing that L had caught his gaze squarely, he
gave me large, comprehensive left-eye
wink, and then ceased to regard me. But
! watched him. He threaded his way care
ruby among the stacks of boxes and bales,
until ne came to an open space within ten
feet of the steamers looming side way
up at the bow. He peered cautiously from
behind the piled-up freight, and then he
made one leap of it through a big, square,
open port. He was roughly dressed. and
he carried in his hand cheap valise of the
glazed variety. His accomplice, a fireman
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-07-29
APPEARANCES ARE DECEIvING.
Not True Tint the Apparel Always
PrOclnims the MINI

Whlle the hotel reporter was talking to
leading western politician with enough Irish
In him to cause dislike for English insti-
tutions generally young man wearing
very demonstrative clothes passed along the
lobby.
English. I guess" ventured the reporter.
Cant tell about that" replied the west
erner. I'm not judging much now on
appearances as L did, and I'll tell you why.
Several years ago l was in Nice enjoying
the Riviera winter, and one day a chap
came to town with a pair of pantaloons on
that were louder than dog barking when
you are trying to go to sleep. They We're
white-and-black check about as big as your
hand and bright enough to throw an X-ray
with. Well, | had no use for him, because
/ set him down for English and | didn't
like anything English, especially if it wore
pantaloons like those. He didn't seem to
catch on to anybody for day or two but
the second or third evening 1 came across
him in little place around the cornar
where they kept good American whisky
and where US Yankees used to gather of
evenings He was talking to somebody or
other, and in the course of his remarks he
jumped onto the English good and hard
for something they had been doing at the
time in Africa or Asia some place or
other where the sun never sets, and 1
naturally went up and told him good for
him, and l thought so, too.
But. says 1, puzzled, thought you
We're one of them.
I'm not says he.
Amt you, really?' says I.
50 No says he. I'm American. Why
did you think l was English?
Il just looked down at his pants and
never said word, and he snorted right
out:
"'Oh. by Jove. them?' says he, slapping
his leg. Let me tell you about them /
paid SIS for them in St. Paul, and, by
Jimmy, they wouldn't stand for them in
that town at all. Nary a stand. l couldn't
afford to throw them away at that price,
and, by Jove. 1 just came over here to
wear them out. See?
Since that affair."" concluded the west
erner, II am not so sure that it Is the ap-
parel that doth Oft proclaim the man, as a
great Irish poet or he ought to be, has very
POLITICALLY remarked"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-07-29
BID AGAINST EACH OTHER

Now, here" said the oleaginous auction
| eer, rs an old English quartered-oak side
board of the real-r-e-a-l-sort. This is
about as splendid a piece of furniture as
er-yes, bit rusty. maybe, but, my friends,
did you ever see an old English oak an
tfque that wasnt-er-a bit rusty? Just a
leetle touch of oil, and the dab of a brush
here and there-well, I'll tell you what-Tve
got great mind TO bid for it myself. Who
knows but this sumptuous bit of hand
carved oak furniture has graced the dining
room of-er-royalty? Doesn't it look the
part ladies and gentlemen, with its-hows
that?-toon-naff, toon-naff, toon-naff, I'm
bid, who'll make it three-Tm just starting
it off at that ridiculous figure in order that
You may all have the opportunity to ex-
anime i'll want three. l want three-did
you ever in your life hear of such an alb
surd figure for an ancient English quar-
tered-oak, hand-carved Sideboard that may
just as well have ornamented the palace
of-er-St. James 300 years ago as not?-
three it is. now where's the four man,
where's the four man-gimme four-four l
get, In a-hunting for five, I'm a-hunting
Tor five-ah, lady, it is obvious that you
know a good piece of the antique when you
see it
A nice-looking little woman, wedged up
in front by the dense crowd behind, had
bid the five.
and the six lady, where is she?-
where the SIX, six L We got
A square-jawed man, way on the out
skirts of the crowd, back near the door.
had nodded six that the signal caught
the auctioneer's alert eye.
which shows that there's even a male
person around an auction room once in a
while who knows what's what-six says the
gentleman at the baclE-six says he-where
are the other discriminating people?-where
are the other crafty bargain-gette 1--we
a mighty good notion to make it seven my
self-it 'ud be cheap at any price-but /
don't want to take advantage of my posi-
ton to pull down these good things-now l
want seven-now I've got to have seven
madame, compliment you upon your judg-
ment-'
The nice-looking little woman up in
front had nodded seven, a determined look
coming into her face.
II make you my respects as one of the
lew really excellent connosseurs-eight do
l hear-eight it is-eight I've get-coming
the nine, l hope-want the nne-must have
the nine-nne | get-sir. it is evident that
you are a trained man in the picking out
of phenomenal ban gains-you have nice
eye, as the base ball enthusiasts put it
For the man with the square jaw, back
near the door, had nodded again, and the
auctfoneer was keeping him under view.
but there isn't the least doubt in the
world that there are others here who do
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-07-29
z
An EHectunI Effort.

'Talkin' about oratory," said Broncho
Bob, you ought to have been out to Grim
son Gulch last fall. so as to hear some of
the real thing
I'VE have some pretty luminous speci-
mems in Congress- ventured the man who
felt it incumbent on him to show little To-
cal pride
Not circumstance. I've read some
Of them kind O. speeches. I've heard en-
too. a Teller come from the east and started
in to tell Crimson Ctulch what it orter
do. Some OF the boys allowed things was
gettin' ruther slack, an they says anythin'
fur change; so they took his advice an
blazed away an organized city council
81 See You held an election"
Mary. We didn't want any bloodshed
We jes' passed the word around that the
city council was goin' to be held. an made
it an open game Everybody was there ex-
cept Nevada Bill, an he didn't dare show
up because he was under suspicion Of Sit
tin in a poker game with a private stock
of blue chips which he had bought unbe-
knownst from store in San Antonio II
wasn't long until, under the instructions of
the tsnderfoot, we had the city council
GOtn in good shape. Only officers was al
lowed to wear their weapons durin' the
perceedfn 3. an nobody was barred from
OeDate- Inc nrSt business We took up was
the case OF Nevada Bill. We reokoned that
it wouldn't be- no more than decent local
pride to prevent the importation of any
poker chips except By the duly reco nized
authorities fur said Importation. Rattle
snake Pete said the only way to make the
law bindin' was to pervide that anybody
breakin' it should be shot at least once
The tenderfoot got riled in a minute He
jumped to his feet. an got off the most
long winded talk about constitutionality
an the rights of citizenship an whereas
an therefore that 7 ever heard He talked
hard, an he showed he had read books
But you orter have heard Three-F Finger
Sans historic reply. II jes' showed how
cloquence kin end an argument. Crimson
Gulch hasn't got through talkin' about it
yet. Three-Finger Sam drawed hisself up
TO his full hight and p'inted his finger at
the tenderfOot. 4 don't desire to use no
harSher words than is necessary saws he
but I'd like to know what YOU mean, YOU
low-down, lOp-eared jack rabbit. by comm
into this town an tryin to tell US whether
man needs shootin not. Have we got
to wait fur some lantern-iawed coyote to
come wanderir' in off the prairie an tell us
what's good fur us? Bewarer SAYS Three
Finger Sam. still p'intin' his finger an
CROWN more eloquent every minute BE
ware. You bow-!egged burro. Don't you
think you can come here an overawe peo-
pie because You wear specs Have a care
or the fust thing you know you'll be trav-
elm out O this town with n bunch of pa
triotic citizens your trail. every one of
whom Is dead anxious to shoot a freckIe
offn the back of your neck The tender
foot didn't have another word to say, an
he left town the next mornin'."
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-07-29

inquired Indignantly. ''Tryin' to git some
BODY sued fur damages. Amt your
MY friend. was the gentle rejoinder, Il
beg that you will not disturb me. l am
thinking"
Cant you go somewhere else and think?''
This spot pleases me I'm every respect.
And. moreover. I don't see what possible
| concern Of yours il may be II choose to
Illuminate here or in some other locat on
Couldn't you think just well some
Very likely. But to get from here 10
somewhere else would Involve loconotion,
ana see no reason for applying SO much
OBJECT. l trust that for a similar reason IL
viii not be necessary to engage in any
further conversation on the subject"
lie took a note book from his pocket and
began to jot down words from various
Languages.
Mister" said the boatman plaintively.
tryin' to do?"
-, 81 am trying to find a fitting word for
'horseless carriage
You amt satisfied with calm it 'hoss-
IeSs carriage. You've got TO hold Up the
freight on this canal to think Of something
Il want something which will be correct
IN It's construction, and yet which Will
readily adapt itself to the vernacular"
tell you what you want to do. You
want TO go down there an talk to Bill
mat MIN swearin' in the bow OF the canal
boat. III anybody can help you out he kin"
Sometimes comparatively ignorant
person VIII nave suggestions which lead to
valuable results" said the professor as he
arose to his feet and picked up the camp
stool. Perceiving his opportunity the driver
called 10 his mules and threw a piece OF
wood at them. The rope frightened and the
proi essor mechanically stepped over 1t to
safety.
IF you want to see Bill.' proceeded the
ofNer, you'll have to come down to the
next lock and get aboard. He's wonderful
Iur thinkin up words that mean the same
thlng. He's been cussin' his way UP an
Gown mere fur twenty year an he knows
more different names fur mule than any
body on the canal. All you've got to do is
TO get him started on 'hossless carriage an
he'll do wonders"
AS the obiiging youth ran to overtake his
mules the professor planted his camp stool
precisely where it had been before And
they both spent several minutes in reflect
be-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-07-29
Ll.-EHINOS 81 81
5 GEE4 E@zv

they are loaded loosely will be apt to
damage them. For such reasons the de-
mand for paper bottles is already large,
and there Is little doubt that they viii soon
supersede the use of the glass-made article
on shipboard."
* * x X
have run up against some queer ad-
vertisements in my peregrinations," said a
travelling man to Star reporter day or
two ago, but L met up with about the
drollest on my last trip through West Vir-
GINA. 1t was in small but pretty lively
and enterprising town. L made copy of
the adj, and you are welcome to it If you
want it. 1t runs like this:
THE BEE HIVE STORE
'Ronceverte, W. Va.
Dealers in General Merchandise and
country Produce of Every Kind. SPE-
ClALTIES: Collins, Caskets and Burial
Supplies; Salt. Bacon and Lard; Hides,
FufS and Live Foxes
And the store also acted as agent for a
wheeling insurance company.
Now II that isn't general all-around
store l don't know one when l see it.
warrant you there isn't department store
IN Washington where you could purchase
collins, hides and live foxes in the same de-
pdrtment.'
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-07-29

not intend to let a good thing like this get
away from them, out of the ranks of whom
there'u be ten-there'H be ten-I want and
must have ten-there's the ten-Tm a
searching for the ten-ten is what 1 want
and have got
The signal had been passed to him from
the nice-lookng. but now very determined
looking also, little woman right in front of
his stand.
and now we're only beginning-oId Eng
fish oak sideboard, hand carved. straight
to this loom from Edinburgh Castle, or
ought to be, from the looks of it-and all
I've got is a paltry little ten-little mine
ing ten-only ten, when | want eleven
want eleven-oh, want eleven-'leven.
'leven, 'leven-cOming 'leven--now the turn
of the discriminating gentleman in the rear
Of the room to make 1t 'leven-'leven I
GET
Once again he had caught the eye of the
square-iawed man.
now for the twelve-gimme twelve-oh
gimme twelve-old English quartered-oak,
hand-carved sideboard. direct from-er-
Buckingham Palace Of I know anything
about the looks Of SidehoardS}-and all I
need Is e-twelve-twelve-"
He met the stern eye of the nice-looking
little woman in front of his stand. and the
square jawed man, with a Disguised look
passed cut of the auction room.
now, where's the thiTteen-thirteen-
teen, 'teen-come the thrteen-most regal
piece of furniture that ever came straight
to an American auction room from MARI
borough House-thirteen I want-thirteen-
are you all done?-the ladies are gamer
than the men here, | see-thirteen-and,
sold to this lady here for thirteen"
When the square-jawed man got home
that afternoon he found the sidebOard
planted in his dining room.
Il only paid S13 for it," said his wife to
him, with victorious air. There
some mean old thing of a man in the back
of the room bidding against me, but l was
determined to have it. and
It's worth about 40 cents" said her hus-
band.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-07-29
FOOLED KIT CARSON.
How n Clever Redskin Outwitted The
Great scout.
From the Chicago Record.

Prom the Chicago Record.
Kit Carsons rifle. which was carried lv
him for more than forty years, and which
never failed him, is now a precious relic in
the possession Of the Montezuma Lodge Of
Masons at Santa Fee Of which he was a
member
As an Indian fighter Carson was match
less. and no one understood better than lac
the habits and the nature Of the savage.
He told Col. Inman of Kansas that he was
deceived but once by Indian tactics. He
said that he was hunting with six others
after buffalo in the summer of 1856; that
they had been successful and came into
their little bivouac one night very tired, in
tending to start for the rendezvous ar
Bent's Fort the next morning. They had a
number of dogs, among them some excel
lent animals. These barked a good deal.
wolves
II saw" said Kit, "two big wolves sneak
ing about, one of them quite close to us
Gordon, one Of my men, wanted TO fire his
rifle at it. but l did not let him. for fear he
would hit dog. l admit that had a sort
OF loea that those wolves might be Indians.
out when noticed one of them turn short
around and heard the clashing Of his teeth
as he rushed at one Of the dogs felt easy
then, and was certain that they wers
wolves sure enough. But the red devil
fooled me after all, for he had two dried
buffalo bones in his hands under the wolf
skin. and he ratified them together every
time he turned to make a dash at the dogs
Wen. by and by We all doZed off. and II
WASH long before / WAS suddenly aroused
by noise and big blaze | rushed out
the first thing for our mules and held them
II the savages had been at all smart they
could have killed us in a trice, hut they ran
as soon as they fired at us. They killed one
OF my men, putting five bullets In his body
and eight In his buffalo robe. The Indians
were band Of Sioux on the war trail after
a band of Snakes, and found US by sheer
accident They endcavored TO ambush Us
the next morning, but we got wind of their
little game and killed three Of them, in
Guiding the chief"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-07-29

Utility.
Don't be waiting till the sorrow
All has passed away
Don't be waiting till tomorrow.
Smile bit today.
When the clouds all dull and dreary
Hang about the earth,
That is when greeting CHEEKY
Counts for what it's worth.
When the blossom tints are blending
Meath a radiant sky,
When sweet harmonies ascending
Greet each passer-by,
When the whole world is beguiling
Men to humors good.
It's no credit to be smiling
Anybody could.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-07-29

A mother indignant to find her little son
very low in his class at school, exclaimed.
wrathfully:
IT am out of all patience with you Jack
I should just like to know why George
Jones is always at the head of his class
while you are always at the footr'
Jack hesitated for moment and then
looking his mother squarely in the face, he
said, innocently:
You forget that Jones has very clever
parents."-Tft-Bits.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-07-29
! Z
A HOld-Un.

The professor had placed his camp stool
IN the middle CT the tow path. He had teen
engaged In collecting specimens. but was so
absorbed In hts present reflections that the
insects played about him in safety until the
canal boat mules frightened them away
He paid no attention to the animals as they
passed him and he was in danger of being
swept into the water by the rope when the
driver. who had looked back and perceived
his peril, stopped them.
What's the matter with you?" the driver
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-07-29

batting. Give Mickey a treat-I can't take
him an I can't leave him"
I'VE amt boddered bout no Mickey-'f
you can't come long, wy, stay; OATS all"
said the other boys, and they went on
down the street with the dog and the rats
"Butch's' pale gray eyes followed them
wistfully. Then he plucked a blade of
grass from the turf, put it in his mouth
and chewed it thoughtfully and looked his
little brother over critically.
Mickey" said he addressing the fodder,
mournfully. we're all right, an l like yer,
but yer cert My plays hi wit me. an ri
be glad Ven Yer gifts GrOMed un,,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-07-29
The Suburbanite's Limit.


Mrs. Hermitage (of Lonelyville. on the
evening train)-"I wonder why the city de-
partment stores won't deliver an order of
goods free in the suburbs unless it exceeds
five dollars WORTH"
Mrs. Isolate (ditto)-"well, they know
that suburbanite can easily carry five dol
lars worth"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-07-29
In a Crowded Street Chr.

From the Philadelphia Bulletin.
The sour-looking woman trod upon the
jolly-faced mans toes
"Ouchr' he cried with vigor.
can't help it," she snapped "I
wouldn't "a done 1t IL you didn't have such
big feet"
True. madam. responded the Jolly faced
man. very true. 1 acknowledge the corn"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-07-29

From the Detroit Free Press
A returned missionary, giving some ac-
count of his experiences in Jamaica, SAYS
that he was once called upon to act as ar
bitrator between n man and his wife who
had had violent quarrel.
The couple came TO the missipnary's house
short time before the hour appointed for
a prayer meeting 10 be held in the chanel
IN the missionary's door yard.
The man and his wife both began to u,
at the same time, their tongues going fast
and furiously and their tempers rising until
they finally came to blows and fought until
the missionary was forced to use all his
strength in separating them.
He succeeded in calming them and in
duced them to remain to prayer meeting
After hymn had been sung the mission
airy requested each person present TO give
a quotation from the Scriptures, where
upon the man who had the difficulty with
his wife got up and said, briefly:
Il have fought 4 good fight."
The missionary had hardly recovered
from the shock Of this when an old black
woman got up and prayed that de minis
tan might be given strength for his weak
body and his feeble mind
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-07-29

Bigson-"How well you're looking this
morning. Jigson."
Jigson-.'Yes; never looked better In nv
$25."-Tit-Bits
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-07-29

Fashionable physician-''what you really
want is change Of climate
The Patient-"Change of climate! Why.
I've never had anything else! I've lived In
London all nay life. Bits.