davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
pUNGENr PARAGRAPHS.

"Spouter says he dreamed he was
got SO wrought up that he tumbled out
of bed" II see. He took the floor
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Look out! I'm after you," shouted
the seal hunter. II don't give a wrap"
replied the humorous seal, disappear
ing under the waves at that moment
Standard and Catholic Times.
Edwin-"How do you know that it
was a man that wrote the novel?"
Helen-'Because the story takes over
a period of ten years, and the heroine
never changes her dress but once
The Rival.
Unhappily Expressed.-She (who
did not know they were to meet)-
"Why, Mr.. Brown, this is a pleasant
surprise!" He (who did)-"I can't al
together say that it is SO to me, Miss
Jones''-Punch.
"Boresome spoke for nearly an hour
at the meeting last night" '".Yes.
left when I heard him say that there
was really nothing new to be said upon
the subject. l knew that meant that
he would go on indefinitely. boston
Transcript.
Clarissa- you needn't try
to deceive me-you have some painful
memories connected with that man."
Henrietta-"Well, think so. He kept
me dressed up hot afternoons at that
watering place last summer, and then
didn't propose. Life.
Caller-''I understand that your hus-
band distinguished himself at the ban
quet last evening"" Mrs. Rumby-"Pos-
sibly; but it was more than he could do
when he reached home. "-What-to-Eat.
Abner-'This here paper mentions
bout diplomatic relations with Spain
pein' resumed. What air diplomatic
relations, anyhow" Josh-"Reckon
they must be the kind that used their
vacation ter visit our farm."-Philadel-
phia Record.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
Baseball for a Tombstone.

The grave of William A. Hubert. in
Graceland cemetery, is perhaps the only
one in the world which is marked with
a tombstone in the shape of baseball.
Mr.. Hubert was the president of the
old National league, and when he died,
in 1882, some of his old associates set
about to show their love and respect
for him, and the result was the monu-
ment in Graceland. The baseball is
made of red granite, about 20 inches in
diameter, showing the seams as they
appear upon one of the balls used in
regulation games. Across the top ap-
pears, in raised letters: "W. A. HUI
bert, President National League, p. =.
B. c., 1876, 1882" On one side appear
the names of four clubs in the old league
Boston, Providence, Worcester, TROY
and on the other those of the other
four-Chicago, Cleveland, Buffalo, De-
troit. Also there is headstone of white
marble, upon which appears the name,
together with the date of birth, October
90, 1882, and the date of death, April 10,
1Ss2.-Chicago Tribune.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08

cactuses of the southwest. The whole
scourge was filed with the spines Of
cactuses, and no sooner did the process
sion form and move forward, each
hooded figure guided by friend. than,
these cruel scourges were whirled over
the shoulders and brought down with
resounding thwacks upon the bare
backs of those religious fanatics.
Every third step the back was beaten.
and now and again we could hear the
half-smothered shrek of the self-whip-
pers as the piercing thorns penetrated
the flesh. 1t is not long before the
blood ran in tiny streams down their
backs and the white drawers were
stained crimson. But nothing daunted
the fanatic fury of this band. On they
marched, led by the fifer, who played
most doleful air, accompanied by the
equally dolorous singing of the guide.
Several hundred yards up the canyon
a large cross was standing, and the
whipping continued each third step
until this cross was reached. Then
the fiagellantes threw themselves face
downward, PROSTATE before the cross,
and lay there for some time, while
prayers were offered by the Hermano
Mayor. Rising, the cross was marched
around, and then the procession re-
turns in like manner to the morada.
Two days in succession these whip
pings continued and on the third day
a secret crucifiXion of victim, chosen
beforehand, took place. Formerly
these crucifxions were in public, but
since the advent of the railway, the
white man, the indefatigable tourist
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08

and ubiquitous newspaper reporter, it
has been deemed desirable to hold them
in secret.
Many others besides myself have wit
messed these crucifxions. The cross
is prepared and the victim, hooded as
before described, is stretched upon it
as it rests uponsthe ground. In the
cases I have witnessea.the penitentes
were tied with rawhide reatas to the
arms of the cross. Other reatas Oas-
sos) were then fastened to the stand
ard and arms and at given signal
cross and victim were raised, the
standard dropped into hole several
feet deep and there, suspended as was
Christ, the worshiped Son of God, be-
tween heaven and earth, remained this
fanatical self-murderer until the Her.
mano Mayor ordered the cross to be
lowered. The victim was covered with
white sheet and thus carried to the
morada.
1t is a well-known fact that when
these crucifixions took place there were
always some of the victims who died,
but such was the power and influence
of the organization, and so impossible
was it to secure either evidence or
conviction, that nothing was done or
even attempted to arrest the accom-.
plices of such fanatical crimes.
I have now in my possession the
complete ritual of this order, given to
me by a recalcitrant member. In it
full particulars are given as to who
may join-men, women and children
as young as ten years. The modes of
penance" are described, the regular
form of which is the pricking of the
flesh over the kidneys by the ''picador'
with a piece of flint or glass. These
wounds are also to be self-scourged,
and then it is the duty of the coadjutor
to wash the wounds with rosemary
water. Other penance that have seen
publicly performed is the tying of large
pieces of the entrana or walking stick
cactus on the bare back and breast,
and rolling over and over on them to
force the cruel spines into the flesh.
A common scourge is made of fence
wire to which cactuses are fastened,
and self-punishment inflicted with it.
They will occasionally crawl with bare
knees over the large spine-covered
leaves of the "tuna" or prickly pear,
and, at Easter time, the carrying Of
heavy crosses is regularly prescribed
penance. It is common sight to wit
ness several men, each with frightful-
~ heavy cross over his shoulder, slowly
and painfully plodding towards their
fanatic Calvary. Strong men will stag
ger and absolutely faint under the
heavy, though self-imposed. loads, but
they are scourged back to life by their
brethren and compelled to resume the
dreadful Journey veritable Via Do
lorosa-to the appointed Calvary.
have seen such crosses made of heavy
tree logs, from Is to 20 feet long and
with crossbar feet in length. Their
weight can well be imagined.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
Fooled Again.

"Rehfuse meh proffered love. proud
gerrul," cried the heavy villain, "an'
by meh halidome I'll dash yeh over yon-
deb beetliug cliff"
The girl gazed in the direction desig'
mated by his grizzly forefnger.
"Huh!" she said. "That's only a
bluff" For she was up in topography
as we'll as some other things.-Stand'
ard and Catholic Times.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
&dA5Nt1tx1 Il
The worldly View.

The Parson-The majority of men,
black and white, brown and yellow, civ
ilized and savage pagan and Christian,
look forward with deep and fervid long
ing to the life beyond the grave. That
proves that the soul is immortal.
The Critic-Oh, no; that simply
proves that the majority of men, black,
white, brown, yellow, civilized, savage,
pagan and Christian, are married. -
Judge.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
Photoxraphins the Heavens.

There are Is observatories in the two
hemispheres wherein photographs of
the heavens are being made down to the
stars of the fourteenth magnitude
whose number is reckoned at &c, OOO. 900.
There are between 2,OOO,O and 3,OOO,-
900 stars above the eleventh magnitude
Chicago Chronicle
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
That Matter of Attention.

"When a man pays attention to
woman" says the Manayunk Philoso-
pher, Its generally a sign that he
wishes to marry her, and when he
doesn't pay attention to her it's often
sign that he has married her."-Phila'
delphia Record.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
Presence Of Mind.

'Rastus (soliloquizing)-Dis am fine
fat pullet, an dey's more whar hit
come from, too.
Village Constable (from a shadow
And where did it come from?
Rastus-Er-um-fr an aig, sab:
from an aig.-Judge.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
Has Its ADVANTAGES,

II can't help feeling sorry for Itchley.
He really has some sense, and he looks
SO like hopeless idiot"
'That's great deal better than if he
were hopeless idiot and looked as if
he had some e."-Chicago Tribune.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
A Palpable Hit.

Miss Oldgirl (engaged)-I want to
get my fance something he will like.
What would you suggest?
Miss Pert-Drop in at a harness store
e&d get him pair of blinders.-N. Y.
World
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
Might Re Worse.

Czar-The police have just unearthed
another poison plot against me. This
life is very trying.
Czarina-I know, my dear; but
think, if we lived in the Baker-feud dis.
trict of Kentucky!-N. Y. World.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
At the Custom House.

Inspector-A female elephant is about
to land without declaring anything
dutiable.
Collector-Search every compart-
ment of her trunk for diamonds and
jewelry. This may be another dodge
Town Topics.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
On the HONEYMOON.

The Bride-So you didn't feel quite
sure of me until just before the cers-
mony?
The Groom-No, darling. 1 never
thought of looking up your dad in Brad
streets till an hour before the knot was
tied.-Judge.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08

. Jimmy-Uncle George, planted
some potatoes last month, and what
do you suppose came up?
did?
Jimmy-Why, drove of pigs. and eat
them all up.-Golden Days.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
Converting 1T.

Mrs. Stubb-I do believe this is bad
quarter, John.
Mr.. Stubb-Think SO, Maria? Well,
then, 1 guess we'd better drop it in the
church box; perhaps good company
may reform it.-Chicago Evening News
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
What He Gained.

"You lost two legs in the army, you
say. What did you gain by it?'' asked a
gentleman of a Chelsea pensioner.
Single blessednes. SIR" he replied,
"for after that no W. Ian would marry
me."-Tit-Bits.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
Educational Innuence

"Going abroad is education, isn't it"
Il think so; it makes people who
come back undertake to educate the
the people who haven't been abroad"
Chicago Record. {.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
The Winning Card.

If you would win in life be brave,
They fail whose hearts are faint:
A bold, wed-to-his-purpose knave
Outdoes a timid saint.
l. A. w. Bulletin.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
Usually the Case.

"Jones seems afraid to think for him
SELF
"Yes; and he makes very poor selec-
tons in choosing the people who think
for hin.'-Puck.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
A Possible Reason.

Twas the sweetest story ever told
In a hammock, and no doubt
They together chung so closely
Lest there be falling out.
kansas City Star.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
COn6dfMR.

ing disposition than Barber"
That's Barber, all right. Why, he
even believes his own .'-Indianap-
oils Journal.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
Tragedy.

Beneath the sofa Johnny hid.
A fiendish grin he wore
Her lover weighed 500 pounds
There's Grape upon the door.
N. Y. World,
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08

"Why don't you put out the gas?" he
asked, sleepily.
81 have" replied his wife, scornfully
"All that remains to be done now is to
powder your nose."-Chicago Post.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
Al n Precaution.

Jaggles-Every man should learn to
swim.
Waggles-That's so. He never knows
when his best girl will throw him over
board.-JudGe.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
Ready for In.pection.

= sThere comes Maud. I wonder &
she'll stop and speak to us?"
Eyes, indeed. She's got on a brand
new dress Daily Record
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
The Circulating Beetle.

MY graciousv' the mosquito cried.
You look perfect show"
The crippled kissing bug replied:
Il do look tough. that's so.
That summer girl! nearly died
Before she'd let me CO."
Catholic Standard and Times.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
Love ) Gift.

He sends her roses, but, all me!
So warped 3 Cupid's plan
That as she evels in them she
Dreams o: another man.
Chicago Record.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
Are FrIends No Longer

Arc FFIend6 NO Longer.
She-Pm going to sing at the con-
cert tonight.
He-Oh, I'm so glad!
Then you'll come and hear me?"
"No; I'm going out of town."
And now they don't speak.-Yonkers
Statesman.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
Wouldn't Run the Risk.

A certain Nauvoo lady assured her
husband that she never told him q lie
nor never would. He told her that he
did not doubt it, but would hereafter
cut q notch in the piano when he knew
she deceived him. mo, you won't, she
screamed; I'm not going to have my
piano ruined."-Nauvoo Rustler.
Two OF Them.
She says she has more than one string to
her bow,
As lightly she dances and sings;
And the truth Of her statement very well
know,
For he's tied to her apron strings.
-Punlx.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08
History Reversed.

He knows Lots wife was turned to salt
Who in the Bible delves;
But in these new enlisting days
Lots turn to salt themselves.
Judge
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1899-09-08

Miriam-Don't you hate to read con
tinued stories?
Milicent-Yes. You can never tell
how they are going to end till
the last installment comes out!-
Leslie's Monthly.
Arizona republican., 1899-03-15
A PHOENIX SHELTER.
Several Advantages. Which Would Re suit From the Construction of
 Such an Institution.

James Dobbins believes that there should be public sampling works in Phoenix He said that there had been a great deal of talk about erecting a shelter but he thinks that the plan is impracticable, and that the same amount of energy should be expended in the direction of a sampling plant.
 He gave as a reason for his conclu- sion as to the shelter, that there would be much difficulty in fuXing the ores. He said the shelter would necessitate the buying of great quan- titles of ore to smelt in connection with the local ores which carry prac- tically no superficial mineral but iron. It would be necessary to import Aux and ores which contain lead and he maintained that it is cheaper to ship the ores than to import f1uX
 A sampling plant is a proposition which has been operated at many vest ern towns like Phoenix and it has in variably met with success. The main objection to it, he argued, was that it would not pay. Of course it would re- quire time to make such a plant a sue cess, but eventually it would be a pay ing proposition. He believed that $5,000 would be ample to construct a plant, but that the company should be capitalized beyond that amount in or der to purchase the residue after the periodical sales It might not be ad- visable to hold frequent sales at first, and their frequency. of course, would be determined by the amount of pat ronage. MT. Dobbins said that he knew of several men who were willing to take stock in sampling plant. if some enterprising person would take the initiative
 The companies which are at present buying ore from the mines would maintain agents here to bid for ores on auction days. Rivalry would ensue and the prices paid would certainly not be lowered. The sampling works would deduct small commission to that of the usual auctiOneer, but there would be no doubt as to the true value of the ore, and all transactions would be generally satisfactory.
 A sampling works would be of in Returning to the city after a prospect ing tour they would be enabled to bring and sell sufficient ore for a new grub stake" As an instance, there is q small prospect not more than forty miles from Phoenix where there has been ten tons of ore taken out, and it will average $65, but by the present method of shipping ore the prospector is not justified in transporting the ore from his claim. Numerous small claims and prospects tributary to Phoenix are similarly involved and it is not difficult to see how they could be benefited by a Sampling plant.
Arizona republican., 1899-03-15
WILLIAM A. SPINkS, OF CHICAGO,

The noted billiard
  closing
 
 national siful Spinks S doubtedy A all New in
  spared securing this
  panying illustrations include o SHOTS THAT MADE w A
Arizona republican., 1899-03-15

A FEW DTS THAT WILL. BE MADE A.
Arizona republican., 1899-03-15
THE PLAY LAST NIGHT.

The StillmaD company presented The Parisian Princess" five-act comedy drama last night to a highly pleased audience Miss StilIman. Mir Kenkel, Miss Bell and the two boy actors, Master Ralph and Master Der nil, acquitted themselves to the satis- faction of all. Tonight |'The Guard ian," a new comedy in four acts will be the bill. The company will present a matinee Saturday for ladies and children. Popular prices prevail throughout the engagement
 --:o:-
 If MT. Hoar becomes involved in the swirl of Chicago politics he will soon learn to look upon the Philippine situ- atiOn as q tame affair.
Arizona republican., 1899-03-15

THE WEATHER MAN Springs early coming
 Already establishment prepared to display Spring Styles. SPRING GARMENTS already making their o1rco As.NAa
Arizona republican., 1899-03-15
ONLY THREE.

Friend-The gossips have formulat- ed a regular indictment against your character. They say you were ter rible f1irt while abroad. Do you plead guilty?
 American Girl-Y-e-s; to three counts-New York Weekly.
Arizona republican., 1899-03-15

ri 2; , +-
Arizona republican., 1899-03-15

SWEET. REFRESHING sleep Is given by Hoods Sarsaparilla which strengthens the nerves, tones the stom- ach and overc0mes all dyspeptic Symp- toms. You should try it.
Arizona republican., 1899-03-15
DIDN'T sTAMMER ALL THE TIME

An electrical engineer who shutters once endeavored to be cured of the habit, and for that purpose went to an institution near Boston. The man ager, questioning him, asked:
 Do you stammer all the time?''
 "Nun-whu-nun-no sir; o-o-o-only whu-whu whu-when I t-t-t-talk, sir. Electrical Review
Arizona republican., 1899-03-15

Hoods Pills are prompt and efficient easy to take. easy to operate. p cents.
Arizona republican., 1899-03-15
Good Tbi3Qs.
 NWss.----- m EAT

BOSTON BAKED BEANS in small jars.
 BOSTON BAKED BROWN BREAD. Hot Ginger Bread. Hot Mince Pies. New England Pumpkin Pies. Lemon Meringue Pies. Chocolate Cream Pies. Cocoanut Custard Pies. Cream Pies. Chocolate Eclairs. Cream Puffs. Cocoanut Kisses. Delicious Maple Slices. Lemon Snaps. George Washington Cream Cakes. Lemon Cream Cakes. Marble Cake. Pound Cake. Fruit Cake. MOTHER BREAD, six loaves 25c.
Arizona republican., 1899-03-15
WONDERFUL.

His parents have spent a great deal of money upon his education, haven t they?"
 'I should say so. You ought to feel his muscle. ."-Detroit Free Press.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1899-04-06

steamer No red. 7l67lhc; receipts. s.s4l bu;
Southern wheat by sample, 70Q7o@&c. Southern
wheat grade. 72o7el4e. Corn very firm; mixed
spot and month, 3Si4a3SSc May, 5Sled5Shc' june
3Sl3Si4c steamer mixed. GNSsl4c: receipts. 1d -
bu: exports. S5.s29 bu; Southern white corn. 4lff
4lisc; southern yellow, SSiec asked. Oats dull;
No white, 35G 35iac: No. ? mixed. 32dS3c; re-
ceipts. Ass bu- Sugar strong and unchanged
Butter steady and unchanged. Eggs firm and IN
changed Cheese firm, active and unchanged.
CINCINNATI April 5-FIour active. Wheat
strong and higher: No ? red 7SIsd74c. Corn
scarce; No. mixed. size. Oats dull No .
mixed. 2Si3G30hc. Rye quiet: No. >. Gee Lard
firner s5.05d5.07is Bulk meats steady ar s.. 80
Bacon. So Whisky quiet at SL2s Butter
steady. Sugar firm. Eggs steady at l0c. Cheese
firm.
TOLEDO. April 5.-Wheat higher and firm; No.
2 cash. &c: May, 1850. Corn dull but steady.
No . mixed 35Izc. Oats dull. but steady; No ?
mixed 2sc. Rye duh and nominal; No. 2, cash,
Sec Glover seed active and steady; prime. cash,
old. s.. % bid: new. cash and April. S.
MINNEAPOLIS. April 5.-Wheat-No. l North
ern. April. zoe: May. 705sc; July. 7l7sd72c; on
track. No. 1 hard, 71Ssc; No. l Northern, 7essc:
No. = Northern 6S7sc. Flour-First patents, s.. 20
63So; second patents. So 50dS60 first clear. g. Co
a. 20. Bran in bulk, S1Odl025.
LIVERPOOL. April 5.-Wheat-Spot firm; No.
California. 6s 5dQ6s Cd. Corn-Spot firm; futures
quiet; April nominal May. IS sd; July. 3s SD.
Hams-Short-cut steady at 35s Cd. Bacon-Cum-
berland cut dull at 2ss 50.
The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1899-04-06
AT NEW YORK.
Ruling Prices i'm Produce at the Sea-
boards Commercial Metropolis.

NEW YORK, April 5-Flour-Receipts. IS, 100
brs; exports Il. PAS brls. Market more active and
held higher the advance in wheat. Corn meal
firm; yellow Western. s4aS5c. Barley malt dull.
Wheat-Receipts, 1850 blu; exports, A, 991 bu.
Spot firm; No. red. S214c. +. b. afioat. options
opened steady cables. They later declined I'M
der liquidation and fine Western Weather, but ex-
perienced afternoon recovery a bad scare
of shorts, attended by export rumors and I'M
favorable Kansas crop news; closed strong at
1@11sc net advance; May. 751.@T9sc closed at
771.c; July 75S@767sc. closed at 76&c; September,
73G74Ac closed at 74%c.
Corn-Receipts. 1850 bu; exports 1885 bu. Spot
firm: No. 2 izd43l2c, (. b. afioat, new and old.
Options opened steady cable news, weakened
jump in wheat, closing ls97sc net higher and
strong: May, 80 5-16G4Oc. closed at $3.50: July.
S9ssGD4O1c, closed at 4Ol4c.
Oats-Receipts, 1900 blu. Spot quiet; No. 2,
33G33l4c: No. white. 55l9c track; mixed West
ern. S2d34I3c, track white State, 35a3Sizc. OPP
tons DUH but firm
Tallow easy; city, 4i2c: country. 4hM43sc.
COtton-seed oil continues firm, with sellers ask
ing an advance; trade moderate and all domestic;
prime summer yellow, 26c; off summer yellow,
251zc.
Coffee-Options opened steady at unchanged
prices > points lower and showed weak under
tone, cables being unsatisfactory speculation en-
tirely indifferent and warehouse movement and
spot demand representing small distributions OF
supplies; general situation nominal; closed steady
from unchanged to points lower. Sales, $50
bags. including: April 49oc; September. 53Oc;
November. 5.45c; December. 5.65c; March. 5.S0c.
Spot coffee-Rio dull but steady; No. Z, invoice
6lsc. jObbing Csc. Mild quiet and steady; Cor
dova, SdL14c.
SugarLRaw strong and tending upward fair re-
filming, 1S-16c; refined strong