The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-07-01
EP1sTLEs TO ST. PAUL.

AHoWs LOO mucn Tor one man, out not
enough for two. 1t also indicates that
even an Illinois sucker comes to the sur
face of public affairs occasionally. The
writer says:
II am running a frog farm near here
and editing the Shirt Waist, published in
this town, between spearings. 1 notice
that the G b e frequently opens its
columns to casual discussion of the ques-
ton When Does the Twentieth Century
Begin? Now 1t occurs to me that a man
such question. Everybody must know that
the twentieth century will not begin for
100 years yet. The nineteenth century will
begin Jan. 1, 1900 We are living In the
Economical ancestors have slipped cog
In the computation of time just 100 years.
AND how they did 1t. and why 1t should
nave been overlooked so long the Lord
only knows. But our debating school had
this topic up for six nights and went into
committee of the whole on it. We settled
1t and it's singular you Minnesota people
haven't caught on.
Let me show you why I'm right, and
why the almanac makers are wrong and
1000 years. It's this way. When a child
Is born he-or she-is in his-or her-first
year; Isn't that so? If not you'll have
to show me- Immediately after his--or
her-flrst birthday, he-or she-enters into
she? Amt I right? Now if the child is in
its-now have got the gender down pat
v
before 1t reaches its second birthday why
we people, at least US Illinois people, are
living In the eighteenth century. The fact
is as plain as the nose on a mans face
You can't dodge the sequence 1 can't I'M
derstand why all this hullabaloo has been
kicked up about so simple and dead easy q
problem. Not until the era, A. D., Ammo
Domini, is 1900 years old can we say we
are living In the nineteenth century. One
and eighteen make nineteen, don't they?
They certainly do in Illinois. Please call
the attention of Minnesota people to this
fact, for we think down here it is i'm
portant. Yours for truth.
Cyrus Ringbolt.
Stryker, ILL.,, June &c, 1893.
Willis L. Williams little three-year-oId
daughter, Berenice, made her latest ap-
pearance in the role of "enfant terrible"
yesterday in a West side car, to the
great discontinue of her aunt and the
amusement of her fellow passengers. The
little girl, wearing a picture hat, was on
her way to have her picture taken. and
sat demurely by the side of her aunt, who
is, exceedingly bashful. Somewhere along
the route an old bald headed gentleman
entered the car and found a seat directly
across from the one occupied by little
Miss Williams, who quickly attracted his
attention by waving her parasol at him
Soon the old gentleman began winlxing at
Miss Williams and she tried to wink back,
but was confronted with the inability
to wink except with both eyes at once
After a number of facial grimaces. in
tended to overcome the disability, the
little maid remarked to her aunt in a
shrilI treble:
''Auntie, you wink at the man with one
eye"
1T makes me weary" said a former
member of one of the Minnesota volunteer
STIT ant Afn ILL kI-s-
what glorious reception is to be given
the members of the Thirteenth when they
come back from Manila
When you come right down to 1t what
does reception amount to? What the
boys want Is some one to do something
for them when they get back beside
handing them a dish of ice cream and
pinning bunch Of flowers on their coat.
1t looks to me as though there were lot
of guys who were anxious to get some
advertising on a reception committee.
why, l know some five or six men,
bers of the Thirteenth who are in ST.
Paul and Minneapolis now looking for
place to work. They were hOnorably dis
charged and came home. and since their
arrival they have been looking for work
Has any one given them a lift? Not
much.
There was one boy who worked six
years in one place. and when he enlisted
the men he worked for promised that his
place would be held open for him and ne
would be reinstated when he returned.
Well. they have forgotten all about the
promise since he returned.
MY idea is to have the money which
would be spent in flowers and lunch,
music and decorations and reception
made up into a fund for the purpose Of
securing the boys work when they come
back. That would be more appreciated
than whole lot of fireworks and speech
es, and would be money well spent"
Deputy Clerk Joe King, of the district
court, has just undergone the experience
of having thought he won q bicycle in a
rattle and then finding the good luck to
exist only In the fevered imaginations of
his friends. There is a certain store In
town the proprietor of which has for
some months, with every purchase, hand
ed out a ticket on a nice new 500 wheel,
with al the latest improved sprockets
and things. Mr.. King came into possess
sion of quite a bunch of the tickets and
carried them around with him surround
ed by L rubber band and snugly ensconc-
ed in his vest pocket. He happened into
another store the other evening and I'M
wisely displayed his bunch of tickets to
a number of friends who happened to
meet him there. He was careful to keep
the numbers concealed, but one sharp
eyed rascal caught the number on one
of the pasteboards. It was 2,110 There
was a lull in the conversation shortly
after, and the silence was broken by
man at the telephone:
Hello; the drawing Just came off; what
was the number; 1 didn't catch it; oh,
2110."
King withdrew into the corner and anX-
iousIy looked over his tickets, and flushed
with joy when he found 2,11G among them.
Then he FASTENED to the telephone and
called up the store where the bicycle was
supposed to be A confederate had ar
rived at the other end of the line by
this time and King received the salts
faction of thinking he had won the wheel
He spent about IS for little presents for
the boys and fastened to the store where
the wheel was.
IT want my Wheel" he said to the clerk,
proudly displaying his ticket.
Il don't like to give it to you now be-
cause the boss isn't In" replied the man
behind the counter. Mr.. King curbed his
lmpatience by spending more money
with the friends who accompa MED him,
and the situation did not dawn on him
until the proprietor came in. He says
he knows how it feels to win a wheel,
but 1t is not safe to bring up the subject
in his presence.
TWENTIETH CENTURY.