The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-05-12
THE CHOATE JEST BOOK.
A Lively Imagination Suggests Some
Of Its Possibilities.
Harper's Bazar.)

| (Harper'S BaZar.)
eve understand that an enterprisine
London publisher has just issued a
Joseph Choate Jest Book. in honor OF
| the witty American ambassador. We
have not as yet seen a copy. but from
! the fashion in which certain famous
! people are at times compelled 10 as
sumo the responsibility for others
jests. we imagine the volume contains
| the following:)
1t was while travelling in Bermuda
| that Mr.. Choate was introduced to
! General Sir William Wintergreen of her
majesty's Blues. Having heard of Mr.
! Choate's fame as master of repartee,
! General Sir William resolved to put it
| to the test before a large company
| gathered in his honor.
Mr.. Choate," said he, you have
studied architecture, l presume?"
! Well" replied Mr.. Choate, mot
deeply, General Sir William, but 1 know
a house from an automobile. and could
| distinguish offhand, 1 think. between
an Italian renaissance facade and a
piece of pumpkin pie
quite So observed General Sir
William. But MIR. Choate, do YOU
know when door is not door?'
The witty American chuckled slight
ly to himself, and then, without an
instant's hesitation, replied:
''Ah, General Sir William. indeed
do. When it's ajar." On. B.-This is
newD
Mr.. Choate was once asked by an
American newspaper reporter who was
trying to find out who illustrious men
would rather be if they were not them
selves. who he would prefer to be if he
were not Mr.. Choate.
Il am sure / cannot say" returned
the famous wit. Il have never not been
myself"
While crossing the ocean, Mr. Choate
was asked as to his plans upon his
arrival in London.
We'll, madam he replied, "of course
l can't say just now, for. as you OBJ
serve, l am entirely at sea. But the
first thing | shall do. | presume, will
be to study the language"
Mr.. Choate, when asked by Lord
Iveagh, the famous brewer, why he
and not General Porter was sent 20
England, the witty ambassador replied:
Me lud, to send Porter to a country
that makes such excellent beer would
be like sending Goals to Newcastle, or
gloom to the Isle of Man.
On the appointment of his predeces-
scr to the portfolio of state, Mr.. Choate
said in confidence to Mr.. Depew: II
suppose the president wants to make
Hay while the sun Shines
Mr.. Choate is sometimes embarrassed
by his own wit. An inquisitive Eng
lishman once asked him as to Mr.. De-
pew's rank in America.
rs he a man of high station?" asked
the Briton.
He's a man of the Grand Central
twinkle in his eye.
Avn" said the Briton. Grand cen-
tral-middle claws, presume?"
1t took the witty lawyer four hours to
explain that his joke was based upon
the fact that Mr.. Depew. as president
of railroad, had his office in a rail-
way station.
1t is not known. whether it was in a
jes>ing mood or because of some nat
ural embarrassment on the ambassa-
doris part, that caused him in his first
address to her majesty to begin with
the well-known American formula. IF
your honor please" In any event. Mr.
Henry White, the talented secretary,
tugged at his coat-taiis warningly. and
with wonderful readiness the ambas-
sador corrected himself by bowling low
and saying, suavely, "or, as 1 should
have said, may it please the court"
The ice was broken at once, and the
new ambassador became, as his friends
all knew he would, so distinctively a
persona grata that he was invited to
stay over night at the castle and
breakfast at the expense of the crown.