El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-12-13
THE IRON OF
REMORSE.
How the First Fright
OF Battle Troubled a Young
Officer.
BY GWENDOLEN OvERTON.


stances until you have tried and found
out. A course Of action which you
know to be absolutely foreign to every
instinct within you-when you sit down
to reason about it, after the manner of
the age-may be the very one you will
follow when there is no time for rea-
son. If any one had told Mackworth
that under fire ne would be a coward,
Mackworth would have knocked the
informant down then and there and
have reflected upon the danger to his
commission afterward.
Mackworth had been graduated, too,
but being a right minded boy, he re-
membered that it was to Horatius that
the molten image was made. and not
to the fellow who built the bridge. So
he very properly chose the cavalry, and
heaven rewarded him by sending him
straight to the frontier. And this was
in the days when there was a frontier;
when men endured discomforts that
they sigh to know again, as none ever
sigh for the luXuries of the past; when
the Apache and the Chiricahua were in
the land and still struggling to be mas
tiers of it, and when a woman was tru-
ly a blessing of the gods and might,
pick of the department. But as there
Is no woman in all this, that is irrele-
want
Except after the manner of cadets
which is not to be taken seriously
Mackworth had not let woman enter
into his scheme Of existence. His ideals
were of another sort just then. He
was young and full of belief and
things, and he thought that the way to
win the approval Of the war depart
ment and the gratitude of his country
was to avoid wire pulling and to kill
Indians. Therefore he rejoiced greatly
when. after only six weeks of his thor
-oughly undesirable garrison, Chatto
took the Chiricahuas on the warpath,
and he was ordered out in the field. He
had had his kit all rolled in a rubber
poncho and his mess chest pretty well
stocked for the whole of the six weeks.
He believed that a soldier should be
always in readiness. He believed SO
many things then-though before long
the bottom fell out Of his universe, and
he was filed with an enduring skepti-
cism. And this was how it came about:
The first time he was under fire was
when they were caught at rather a dis
advantage among the pines in the Mo-
gollons. The fight began about dusk |
and lasted well into the night. 1t may
have been the result of some bugaboo |
stories of his boyhood, which had fos- |
tered an unconquefable fear Of the |
dark; it may have been some lurking |
instinct, or it may have been just blue /
funk which overcame him. Anyway,
he hid behind a bowlder, crouched and
covered there, trembling so that his
carbine fell from his hands.
And Morley, his captain, found him
SO. what are you doing?" he demand
ed. He was an Irishman and a soldier
of the old school, but he did not swear.
Mackworth knew from that how bad
it was. He scrambled up and babbled.
Get out of there" the captain said.
He would have used a better tone to
one of the troop ours.
Mackworth felt for his carbine and
got out, staggering, but no longer
afraid, only ashamed sickeningly |
acknowledgement all endurance. He
tried hard to get himself killed after
that He walked up and down in front
of his men. giving orders and smoking
cigarettes and doing his best to serve
as a target. The captain watched him
and began to understand. His frown
lou DeIleT get COW (
err he suggested. You are taking
needless risks Mackworth looked at
him with wide, blank eyes and did not
answer. His face was not only white
now; it was gray and set. like the face
of corpse
Morley's heart softened- It's only a
baby, anyway" he said to himself,
land it is unhappy out of all proper
nd no fn l
again. "Will you get under cover,
he insisted.
NO" said the lieutenant, Il won't"
The captain swore now, fierce oaths
and loud. 81 order you back under COW
ar, sir"
Mackworth glanced at him and went
On smoking. Morley did not fancy his
OWN position, arguing with a green
boy, fully exposed to an invisible enc
my. He knew that wasting officers is
pretty, but is not war. Il shall order
you to the rear under arrest unless you
get back there with the men immedi- |
ltely"
Mackworth retired, with look at his
superior for which he should have
been court martialed. After that the
'cout went the way of most scouts
,eing a chase of the intangible, up
mountain ranges, when you pulled
our horse after you; down them. l
when he slid atop of you; across NAL
,ais and desert, frsm the level Of the
mesquite and the sfeaSewood to that
f the pine and the manZanita. Chat
o'S band was at the north, to the q
outh, to the east and west, but when
he troops got to the spot after forced I
carching there was nothing.
1t went on for two months, and all the I