The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1899-05-13
INCIDENTS IN TILE CAREER OF THE
KANSAS 'sBOTTLED v1TRIOL.o

Heroic Colonel Who Has Repeat d1y
Led His Regiment Into the Jaws
OF Death in the Philippines Was
Formerly Reporter-The Little
Man Had More Than One Encoun-
ter With Bd1lies-In the Railroad
Business and Then Fighting for
Cuba Libre. s'
When the war with Spain was formally
opened who in the far East-un1ess
money lender with mortgages IN the West
gave a thought to Kansas?> The Sun
flower state was then known merely aas
the home Of gophers, coyotes, sand burrs.
prickly pears. drouths, bad crops and 'cy-
clones. Every resident was supposed to
pass the summer months beneath the sur
face Of the flying earth. Town sites moved
from section corner Ito section corner
without the action of the county court.
Fixtures as legally defined were not sup
posed to exist on those barren plains. AL
was movable but the federal land offices,
ard these were frequently half-buried I'M
der the shifting sands which the restless
winds banked up in burrows
Spain was a licked commodity before
the previous condition Of incertitude was
removed from the historical prospectus of
Kansas. The war was at an end, the pa.
pers signed and word on the way to the
Philippines to the two commanders there
to let up on the PROSTATE don, and still
Kansas and her sons were regarded as
harmless hayseeds, lacking in socia!
graces, devoid of any more elevating SEN
tinent than the condition Of the alleg-
eddy stunted corn, reckless Of political
happenings, the birthplace almost of ram
pant populism and every other political
:heresy exploited on the earth. None from
Kansas wore socks even, for the tradition
had gained credence that the most re-
nowned statesman Of that commonwealth,
of recent years, at least-had' been COM
PEELED to forswear socks or lose his job.
Then Agmnaldo became busy-he is still
land the war with the Filipinos COM
menced last February. Now everybody is
saying, What is the matter with Kan
sas? The bill of particulars is made more
definite and specific and the query be-
comes, whats the matter with Fred
Funston of Kansas" In the language of
certain ditty much loved of late, refer
ring to a certain prince, power and poten-
tate of foreign land, the answer comes
back from something over 100000 of
throats: mix" That is what is the mat
ter with Funston. is the verdict of the
Chicago Chronicle. It also applies to a
band Of gallant Kansas boys who follow
their IA intrepid leader into every scrap
which has been generated under the trop-
ical sun of Luzon. 1t will to the end,
whatever that NAV be.
Ten years ago the writer was seated in
the city office of Kansas City (Mo.) pa
per waiting for the daily assignments
He was alone, for he was the first arrival
of the staff. While reading over his stuff
they all do that-of the day before,
short, sturdily built youth with a cherubic
countenance entered. It was hot and the
boy-he was little more-wiped a broad,
fair brow with a spotless handkerchief.
Then he bowed to the writer and said in
a mild, almost effeminate voice: "City
editor, STRIP
BE in soon. Want to see him person.
allyn
Eyes, sir.''
''All right, just sit down. Seen the sheet?
Well, here's a copy. I ann expecting him
every moment"
The youth took the proffered paper, and
modestly seeking a corner behind the
open door, began to take stock of the
everything in the room, including the
other tenant. This can be proved by the
fact that the sole other tenant was taking
stock of him at the same time. The boy
was not much to look at, but one look
called for two. He had a direct look from
two bright gray-blue eyes that never
faltered if detected in taking a fellow S
measure. He was broad in the shoulders,
slight in the waist, heavily hipped, short
of stature, five feet four at most, if that.
and as ordinary looking young chap as
one might wish to see. Yet he had an
attraction which inspired a second glance.
1t was hard to tell what this was, but it
was there.
The city editor arrived and proceeded
with his ro1tine labors. He had disposed
of all of his men withoT 1T noticing, the
presence of the stranger. He was an
irasci1ble man, that city editor and when
ne did see the young fellow he asked
angrily: '"Well, and what can do for
your .,#M
I'm Fred Funston. was directed to
report to the city editor for duty
"Oh, yes, Mr.. Funston. glad to see you,''
was the reply. Then turning to the writ
er he introduced the youth and directed
his man to "break I'M the newcomer on
the courts. That was how Fred Funston
broke into the newspaper business in
Kansas City, along in the spring OF 1883.
He was duly broken in, for he was liked
by his tutor, but he was always slipping
a "cinch. AS a reporter he was alternately
a surprise and a disappointment. He
worked his rum faithfully, but If he
had continued long enough in the bust
ness would have been set down as a fail
ure. He disliked trifles.
Fred remained with the paper several
months and became a favorite, for he was
so modest nobody ever dreamed he had
already made a record which is looked
upon as remarkable by old caInpaigners
in frontier duty. That sweet-voiced lit
tie chap had marched through Death val
ley with "a bunch of greasy Shoshones,
helping to make the only accurate sur
vey ever made of that region and at a
time when he was scarcely eInancipated
from the control of his father. He near
~ died Of thirst, for the party became
lost in the 'labrynthian Businesses Of that
fearfen stronghold. He carried a chain,
but with the versatility which has always
been his made a lot of anthropolog OBJ
serwatfons which subsequently, brought
Hmm many a dollar from Eastern publ
cations
Fred Funston is now tfdrty-three years
DID,. He Is the son of the former member
OF congress from the Second Kansas ids
trict, known to fame as Farmer F,uns-
ton. The farmer was Methodist preach
er before he went in for agriculture and
politics and was famed for the eonorous-
ness OF his mighty voice. It is common
repute out in that district, which was
then a sh0estrfng running north and
south along the 200 miles of the eastern
border Of Kansas, that the old man might
address his constituents In Wyandotte
and be Heard down In Parsons Fred
spoke with the mild lisp OF a budding
schoolgirl. The farmer was eix feet two
and weighed about 24O when he felt real
good, which was most Of the time: the
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