davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28
A Chair Of Uncleism Needed.

Tnclehood Is about the hardest hood
man has to wearand, as have ouserv-
ed uncles and their habits. they either
spoil or repel the small chaps and chap
posses who happen to be made their
nephews and nieces by an accident Of
birth. Uncles are either intensely
genial or intensely irritable, and as .ar
as | am concerned it is my belief that
our colleges should include in their car
rlculum chair of "uncleism."
Unclehood Is relationship that man
has to accept 1t is thrust upon him.
He can't help himself. To be father
or mother Is a matter Of volition. But
even In free country like our own, II
a man has brother or a sister, he ia
liable to find himself an uncle at any
time whether he wishes to be one or
not. Then when 1t happens he's got to
reason out course Of procedure with.
out any basis in previous experience
John Kcndrick Bangs In Woman's
Home Companion.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28
He Held nm IN Hla Knife.

On the afternoon Of June |. 1872. an
old painter named William McCui-
Tough while painting the bridge above
the falls between the first and second
Sister islands fell into the rapids. In
stanfly he was swept furiously toward
the cataract. but whirled into lesser
waves 80 that he struck against and
seized a rock not far above the brink.
Hundred. quickly gathered on the
shore and watched. all eager TO help,
but ignorant what N do. Among them
was Thomas Conroy, who secured a
coll OF rope. fastened one end 10 tree
on shore and with the other end In his
hand wadcd out M far as he could and
occasionally swan. the water being
from ~ inches to six feet deep.
He aimed far up stream to allow for
the power of the curren, and mt last
with great difficulty reached the unfor-
tunate painter and bound him 70 him
self with the rope They were swept
on their feet several times on the way
back To shore, but the rope had been
firmly fastened. ana they finally landed
safely. When they reached shore, Il
was found that Mccullough still clutch
Ell his putty knife firmly In his hand,
having held II during the three hours
hc had been on the brink OF the falls
+. a. Acland In Adventures at Mag
ara" In Youths Companion.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28
The Rat That Sailed.

\ rat was caught alive on board a
naval vessel In trap. and the beast
was thrown from the trap into the wa
ter without being killed. large gull
that was following in the wake of the
snip to PICK up scraps of food thrown
overheard by the steward swooped
several times, endenvoring to pick the
rat up. Once the bird got too close to
the rats jaws. and the beast grabbed
II by the neck After n short fight the
rat succeeded IN killing the bird. When
the gull was dead, the rat scrambled
upon the birds body. and. hosting one
wing as sail and using the other as
rudder. succeeded in steering for the
shore. Whether the rat reached shore
or not Is the question. since the ship
soon 20, out OF sight of the skipper
and its craft
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28

On one of Landscer's early visits 10
Scotland the great painter stopped at
n village and took u great deal of no
tlee Of the dogs. jotting down rapid
sketches OF them on IA piece of paper.
Next day, on resuming his Journey. he
was Mortified 10 iind dogs suspended
from trees In all directions. or drown
Ing In the rivers. with stones around
their neeks. He stopped weeping
urehln. who WAS hurrylng of with a
pet pup In his arms. aud learned To his
dismay that he was supposed To he an
excise officer who was taking notes OF
all the dogs he saw In order tn prose-
cute the owners Tor unpaid taxes.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28

An expert who prided himself upon
the smalncss of his writing sent the
president of the French academy n
grain OF wheat on which he had writ
ten POI words. \ Polish poet wrote
all of Homcr's "lllad" on piece OF
paper which could be rolled up small
enough tn 20 Into n nutshell.
In the sixteenth century man named
Mark offered to Queen Elizabeth gold
chain of 30 links. The chain was SO
fine II could not bc seen unless II was
put on sheet of white paper. To
prove Its lightness Mark tied 1t to fly,
which tiew away with II. The most
curious fact In this matter, which re-
qnlred so extraordinary facility OF
touch for making this ornament. was
that Mark was blacksmith. aecus-
toned Ia all kinds OF heavy tools all
day long
Spansard, Joseph Faba, made n
carriage as large rs II grain of wheat
Under II magnifying glass 1t was pos
sibie to see the interior fitted up with
seats. every detail being carried out to
perfection Kansas City Journal
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28
A BRIGHT IDEA.


Bat Wears Pard Found . Fatal
Flaw In the Scheme.
"Pete," exclaimed Wandering Mike,
I'm gittin res less."
Don't do 1t. Take things easy while
- Ain."
Ever since l dropped into dat lee
ture hall last winter to git warm I've
had somet'iu on me mind, an l can't
git 1t loose. II rankies in lie con-
science an overhelms me wit q re'liz-
In sense OF de resistlessness OF fate.
Dis life amt nottin but one hard luck
story any way you take 1t. But a man
Of brains kin sometimes git de best Of
lie situation"
system deep"
at did. But I've got a scheme dnt'll
help out. De mex time we takes II
freight train Wen take one goin
east
What furY
Did you ever hear Of velocityY"
'Sure. Dey's got tree wheels. an de
kinchens tries to run over you wit
'em."
Ddt CLOSE 10, DuI uOL uCXl. NciOc.
ity is what de world moves wit. It's
so many miles second. We're goin It
all de time, shown from west to east,
an when You thinks ye're restin It's on
~ another delusiOn an n snare. Ye
can't stop mUyin."
"Well." asked Flooding Pete, discon-
tentedly, "what're you going to do
about it,"
"Jes' what told We. De worlds
movln from west to east. De only
chance to neutralize de swiftness Is to
take a train gOin from east to west. I
dunno as we kin hope fur any actual
repose, but it's de only chance I see
fur comm anywheres near It,"
ITS a bright idea, but it won't do"
"Why not?'
ut only works one way. We can't
keep on ridin west fureyer. An t'ink
Of de double exertion when we have
to turn areun an come de other wayw
washington Star.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28

Every explorer who visits the Aus
tralasian islands discovers n new kind
OF cassowary. None of these birds
possesses any wings to speak of. and
their bodies are clothed with dense
masses Of curious, hnirlike feathers.
According to recent traveller, these
feathers are put to a very remarkable
use.
When cassowary feels hungry-so
the legend runs-it wades out into Il
stream until only its head and neck are
above water and spreads out it's long
plumes on either side. Numbers of un-
sophisticated little fishes Immediately
mistake these for new kind OF water
weet and nestle contidingly up to the
mcronless cassowary for shelter.
Then that artful bird suddenly
presses his feathers close against his
body. walks ashore and sha, es out his
prisoners on the bank: so that he not
only enjoys delightful bath, but OBJ
tnins an excellent meal into the bar
gain.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28
In the Jaws of = LAon,

A lion comes at its enemy at
speed, galloping low, and dasha
man standing upright to the grounl
the full impact Of it's body. Major
verarity states that 1.-THE claws
teeth entering the flesh do not hun
much as you would think" but
the squeeze given by the jaws on
bone Is really painful. When knod
over. he was still keenly conscious
felt none Of the dreamy sensation,
perienced by Livingstone.
Major Swaine, struck down h
lioness going full gallop. was uni
sciOus for some minutes and dbl
know what had happened till he ID
himself standing up after the acciA
Il felt no pain" he writes, mot, 4
lieve. owing to any special inte1|
ton OF Providence, but simply that
shock and loss Of blood made mel
capable Of feeling it. There wal
pain for few days. till it was bro1I
on by the swelling Of my arm on
IL days ride to the coast" -Specrl
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28

The Australians when they find n
horseshoe throw II over their shoulder
\ lady IN sydney found one and threw
II gracefully over her shoulder 1t
went through n hatters window and
hit "A customer who was trying on n
new hat. This gentleman. under the
Impression that one Of the shopmen,
In III or temporary insanity. had
played the trick. promptly struck him
and sent him through the plate glass
window. \ general melee ensuc,i. al
though on consideration nobody knew
what II was all about Public Opiuion.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28

| While n good many OF the funny stO-
ries of she asked me 10 bold the Ia
by" have been written and the subject
consequently IL some what frayed. still
the scene that occurred In Madison
square one night was funny. A jovial
looking old gentleman was sitting on
bench beside portly. well dressed
woman who had baby Ia her arms.
The two got In conversation 10y the old
gentleman remarising. How well the
baby behaves" for the little thing lay
and slept peacefully wrapped In nu-
nierous vellings.
Presently tn. woman said she waD
going over 10 Fourth avenue 10 buy .
bottle Of milk aud requested the old
man to hold the baby "Why, certain
IT," said he. 1--WE been IL father and
grandfather to 80 many that know
how To handle them" The woman
went away and didn't come back. The
old gentleman became nervous. but as
the baby still slept on peacefully he
waited until long past his own bed
time FOR the mother To return.
II was nearly midnight when he
walked into the police station and
handed over thc bundle. Then he bare
ly escaped arrest for trying to hoax
the sergeant when the wrappings We're
thrown aside and there was disclosed
q papicr mache doll, one Of those
Jointed things from Paris which ad
reproduce nn appearance Of
York News.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28
A Marvel OF the East.

Among other feats in the east
learning by heart Of the Koran Il J
widespread. Not only men, but ".
en- and children. can be found WIN
repeat the holy book from beginnIn,
end without mistake. Taking n
round numbers, the Koran comm
together with the additions. which
included In the recitat ton, some mi
words. This is about the length o,1
average up to date novel, but, uni
the novel, there are no connecting M
the whole book being a confused J
much mutilated jumble-to enable
reciter to remember. To make
least error would be a deadly sin
even children can go through it.
But this is not all. For an All
child to recite the Koran Is wonde,1
enough. no doubt, but he understj
what he is saying-it is not to him
unknown language-but for a chIN|
another nation to recite it from b,J
ming to end, without understanding
words he is saying. Is a much h
wonderful feat Of memory. and Il
few Of those outside Arabia who :
recite the Koran know more thu,
few Of the simplest words, il they k,l
those.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28

A trial has just taken place ut Paris
which may serve as warning to
American tourists visiting France
A well to do man of perfectly clean
record and good social position named
FrOment Adelot has been sentenced tn
two months Imprisonment for wear
Ing. without right. In the buttonholc of
his coat. the tiny bow Of red ribbon
usually worn by the knights Of the
French Legion of Honor.
You can buy them for few cents In
any Of the shops devoted to the sale Of
insignia Of European orders, and
have known of not Il few English and
American tourists who, seeing n num-
Der OF people wearing these little bows
OF red ribbon In their buttonholes, did
likewise.
This. however, entails heavy penal
ties. and it Is punished by the authori-
ties as the illegal wearing Of the in
sigma of the national orders.
1t must be thoroughly understood
that even supposing any American be-
longs to some patriotic or other society
here In the United States, the insignia
OF which comprises n bow or button of
red ribbon worn In the buttonhole, he
cannot wear it In France without risk
Ing ail-WashingtOn Post.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28

An old colored woman, who was born
10 Georgetown 2gd had never been ten
niles from home in her 20 years OK
life, started on journey to see her
niece, who lives about 30 miles from
Washington on the Virginia Midland.
The conductors personally know every
body who travels on the road, and chill
dren aud old people are always confid-
ed to their care. This was the case
with the old colored woman, and the
conductor was requested to see that
she did not leave the ear at the first
station reached, as she was very likely
10 do unless watched. He sat her down
In the end seat Of the car, hedged her
about with her parcels and told her
bot to bulge until he called her. The
second stop made was ut little sta
ton called Vienna. and just as the
conductor was about to sound the start
ing bell he saw the old woman tum
bling Off thee
''Wbere are you going? Get back on
that cart" he shouted. Didn't l tell
you not 10 get out till called your"
Please. mister, you done called me-"
"NO. | didn't. Get back quick"
Deed you did call me, sah," per-
sisted auntie as she scrambled aboard.
You done call my name twice
Called your nameY What Is your
naineY' asked the conductor.
MY name. please, sab, Is Vienna.
sah."-Chicago Inter Ocean.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28

A big down town departus,.
has a young man employed =.
salesman who at times evince.
in the highest degree. sesS
Into the store there recently
South Side society woman wei, -
for nervousness and a tennoa
founder about In her topics of ~.
sation. She desired a rug OF = ~
size. The young man got down 49,
three to show her. IL the ml,,a,'
his explanation as to quality ana =.
she turned away and began to era
goods on a neighboring counter ~
she went back to the young man 5
wanted to look at some more ru,v
started to spread one out. who, !
wandered away again. When ~. J
turned the third time, he had , ~
placed in an angle Of the counte, !
suggested that perhaps she Womb
seated while he got the rug.
When she had taken her 49,. |
spread the rug SO that 1t efYec,r.}
blocked the angle and prevented /
escape. He held up the edge a, !
rug farthest from her 80 she con,a3
walk over 1t. and so kept her non,
up while he explained how fine
It was. She made two or thin. /
tempts to get down, but with No
cess, and finally bought the rug n
tain her release.-Chicago News
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28
A TranslatiOn.

I'm one Of the schools Of this CITY. f"
says the Worcester Gazette, 1.-THE teach
er. intending to relieve the monotony
OF the regular exercises. asked the pu-
pills II they would not like to sing. OF
course there was an instant clamor in
the affirmative. and then the teacher
asked what song they would prefer.
One little boy. in his eagerness to make
the selection. spluttered out something
which the teacher did not catch. Turn.
Wg to the boy across the aisle, she ask.
I'll what Johnnie said. Please came
the unexpected answer. he says he
wants to sing His Country, IT'S of
Him."
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28
OLD SOILS RIDE IN 1849.
Fl0wery Weather Predictions of the
Journalists of Long Ago.

JOurDalistS of Long Ago.
In these days Of practical newspa-
per writing, IN which bald facts are
expressed in the plainest and tersest
form, the flowery language INDUCED
IN by some Of the journalists" half a
century ago sounds peculiar. The
following poetic CONFUSION was copied
by one Of the local papers from the
New York Tribune in 1910 as worthy
Of a high place in the newspaper lit
erature of the day:
'On Saturday evening at II minutes
past IL o'clock the sun rode calmly
and mildly over the autumnal equinox
and cast his golden anchor on the win
try coast of autumn. But as yet the
vast ocean Of air through which he
sails Is glowing and transparent with
the memory of the long summer days
that have passed over it, darting their
rich beams to its very depths. Even
as we write, however, the remem-
brance fades, like the sky's blanching
souvenirs Of sunset, and in the dis
lance the cold ghosts Of winter glare
and wave their frozen wings, which
creak on icy hinges. while in the 81
lence Of midnight prophetic voice Of
wailing and desolation means fltfuily
at the easement"
Few people can contemplate this
specimen of literary architecture with
ont experiencing a feeling of awe and
sadness, with a few cold shivers on
the side. 1t Is proof positive that the
profession has in some things gained
by what it has lost.-Albany Argus.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28
Turkey. Elaborate Armories

Turkey prides itself on its armr
and claims that no other country M
world can equal them. Constant
pie boasts the roomiest and hands
est Of all. The armories there anl
palaces, with all the comforts anda
veniences modern genius can SUP
These buildings are all erected on
ground. and in many cases strike
eye Of the approaching tourist bs|
the gates of Constantinople are NJ
ed. This is true particularly oil
Haidan Pasha and Pera armd'
which always arouse the admirat3
newcomers to the Turkish capital
armories are surrounded by hugsS
dens. with large courts and tern!
and reflect credit upon the TUT
architects.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28
IL Grades Down.

When Il girls engagement to an ont
or town man Is reported, il is first
said that She is to marry king. As
time progresses the girls mother con.
tesses that the young man is a prince.
II leaks out later that he works on a
salary and has to work Saturday
nights. and later. just before the wed
ding. no one Is surprised ut learning
that he Is clerk and gives dancinI
lessons on the side To make living
Atchison Globe.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28
THE STAY AZ HOME.

There's tIress an hood 10 bay fr JaA4
pair O. pants fr John.
A whole outnt fr Buster Bill.
An winters comm on.
But haby Nan, the stay at home,
Us laughs never knows
That all on earth she has 20 wear
In ole made over cIothes
There's books 70 20 buy rr them at school
II makes a pore man nich
10 near sin i.vi.sT ',;ogsa!y'
An mental 'rithmrtic.
But. THANK tine Lord, the stay AZ home
Is ahty hard 90 p'eass-
JIG gifts the family almanac
An reads 1t ON her knees.
Al writin books az drswin books
they never seem To think
How much Il costs to buy sich truck
An pencils. pens AN ink.
But little Nan, the stay at home,
She knows her daddy's pore
Jis' gifts charcoal pen writes
Her lesson on the door.
There's boots to buy fr Buster Bin,
An boots 10 buy fr John.
An shoes ~ Jane an ma all ].
TIL all my moneys gone.
30 Nan. the last, the sta at home,
n left to do without
Jis' wears her HON made moccasinS
An crows an crawls about
Pears like that all rake an scraps
Won't hardly satisfy
The pressin needs o Bin an John
An Jane an ma an |.
But baby Nan. the stay at home,
IL full % sweet content
Jis cuddles mp 10 daddys arms
An never wants a cent.
George Weymouth In Century.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28

An English merchant was invited by
n Chinanan to dine with him Neither
could speak the Others language. and
conversation was carried on by
means OF gcstieulations aud signs.
Among the dlsacs WAS one which seem.
nj very sasors, Tho Engilshman had
nm Idea Il Was duck, but to make Ger,
tain he pointed 10 the dish aud pleas.
antiy insinuated. "Qnaek. duack"
The Chinaman wagged his head and
sa.i; "No-ey. no-ey. Bowsw WOW wow.'
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28

Jesse Ice cf Atlanta has the letters
or the alphabet clearly imprinted on
the IRIS OF hrs eyes. He inherits this
strange phenomenon from his father.
\. T Lee, who had the same markings
on his eyehalls. The grandmother of
Jesse Lee Is said to have pored inces-
sanity over the Bible previous to the
birth of her son, and it is supposed
that the hii-thnark Is due To her con
stant application to the letters OF the
alphabet
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28
The Peanut Solo.

Remenyi, the violinist. was plf
one night in concert in Buffalo and
extremely annoyed by two persos
the audience who were cracking
crunching peanuts. He lost pats
at last. quit playing and left the :
He was loudly recalled, reappes
and. stepping to the front of the {
said with much impressiveness,
zee gentlemen hat finished hes P''
solo. will go on" The speech
heartily applauded. and no NOR
nut performances were given q
that concert.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28
Ma1arinss yicfi~s.

Major Ross said in recent lecture
AZ Liverpool that malaria was not 80
dramatic disease as cholera: 1t did
NOT Kill so quickly. but it killed far
more people. In India 1t killed about
a."c,en people year. 1t was also
a politically important disease, because
II Checked the progress Of civilization
IN districts the richest in the world.
killing more OF the English army than
We're killed by the enemy.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28
SHE BUNkOED CHOLlY.
How the Clever Girl Won n Bet From
the Dude.


the Dude.
"Cholly," remarked Mr.. Fltznoodle
Flushington. with something that
might have been taken for CLEAN of
intelligence tinting his vacuous face,
III you want to meet clevah girls go
down and spend a month ut one Of
those southern resorts"
"Ah they great. old chapy' Inquired
Cholly rs he hecked the ash from his
cigarette.
"Rawthah. ! met a girl down mt one
Of 'cm that beat any girl evan met
befoah. What that girl didn't know
wasn't worth knowing, old man:
deuccd clevah. really"
''IIow did she show II. me boyw
"Well. theals pier down there with
bathing tioat attached to the end Of
II. The float, We knaw, lay about six
feet below the end Of the pier. quite a
drop. ye knaw. One night | was talk
Ing 10 the girl on the vera nda, and
suggested that the pier offered an OPP
portunity for good bicycle ride II it
weren't for the danger OF dropping off
the end and taking tumble OF six
feet to the float below. The girl look
ed mt me and said that even If one did
strike the float II wouldn't mattah.
why. I'll ride down heah and out on
the raft she said You darcn't.' l re-
piled. She turned up her nose and
asked me what I'd bet. bet her
twenty-five dollahs and n box OF fo,v.
ers. She told me to be ont theah in
the morning and I'd see her do 1t. l
was theah bright and eahly. And
blow my eyes. old man. she did do IT."
why. wasn't she hurt me boyy"
Not bit. The tide had raised the
float to level with the pier, and at
the end she Just rolled ont upon 1t on
her wheel. peuecd clevah. wasn't it?"
Detroit Free Press
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28

Probably the reader has heard voices
which the following viii recall to
mind.
i know MIR, ridgerly Is good
man. said one Of the mcmhers OF the
family after the caller hai gous. hut
u mai = me ~ tired to hear him talkf.
Il know why II is" said another
member OF the family. You feel like
clearing your throat all tho tine To
help him out"
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28
Winning Mn,..

Money" said the philosopher. may
often do more harm than good. Sone.
times the mighty dollar Is a mans
worst enemy"
Yes, answered Senator Sorghum.
and often feel that number OF p.o-
pie love me for The enemies l have
made, = Nashingtou Star.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-07-28

Que OF the sur~ss ways 10 be awk.
ward I'm company" 10 to try TO act dlf.
fesvnsiy FROM ooe's accustomed man.
ner. II ones everyday manner h not
good enough for company. then /,
should h changed. but the noxs dc
hxasfai company manner 10 The nat
arsi manner when Il IL natural 10 he
charming One 81 the charms OF an
sgrsahlr nsnner Is Ia seem 10 be un.
Affected. Another h 20 listen appre.
rsaaseiy ~hen others speak. The Ten.
sicwomsn