The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1899-01-07


Qulpps-"You should see the girl I'm
going to marry-she's bird" Phpps
81 heard she was a high-hyer"-
Town Topics.
Papa" said little Johnny. they're
not In it" what are not In 1t. my
boy?' "why, the other twenty-four
letters OF the alphabet
Author-I always test my poems by
reading them to my wife. Friend-Ah,
yes-and you use those she likes? Au-
thor-No; those she oesn't.-Tit- Bits.
He-Do you know when you get a
bad coin? She-Why. certainly. l do.
He-How do you know? She-Why.
the man l offer 1t TO refuses to take it.
Wife Ito her husband)-I say. my
dear. how badly the tailor has put this
button on your waistcoat. This is the
6fth time l have had to sew 1t on
again.
"Those folks next door must have
bought that house." what makes you
think SOP" IL heard her scolding the
maid for driving picture nail into the
plaster"
Trivvet-What makes you call Miss
Tenspot a new woman? | haven't no.
ticed anything forward about her.
Dicer-She keeps her engagements to
the minute,
Papa-Well did the photographer
succeed in making the baby look pleas
ant? Mamma-No: the baby succeeded
In making the photographer look I'M
! pleasant.-Puck.
Percy-Bradford uses a lot OF per-
fume. Doesn't he know that 1t is bad
form? "Well, It's a sort of family pride.
You know he comes of old colognial
stock. THE Widow.
"Now. Bennie. here's the medicine
and here's the dime papa left to pay
you for taking it," "All right. mamma.
If you take it and don't tell. I'll give
you half."-Harper's Bazar.
De Witte-Queer about Welsh rare
bit. The acting cOok-What Is queerf
De Witte-The girl who makes it al
ways says 1t isn't nearly so good as the
one she made the other night-Puck.
1t was Mr.. Justice Maule who said,
In answer to a witness who declared
that he had been welded to the truth
from infancy: yes sir; but the ques-
ton is-how long have you been wild
over"
Minnie-What frauds these beggars
are. l met blind" man. who said,
"Please give me a penny, beautiful
lady?" Mamie-Yes. he said that to
make you think he really was blind
Indianapolis Journal.
Mrs. Upjohn-Our minister Is a high
" learned man. believe he knows
every word in the dictionary. Mrs.
Downright - That's nothing. Our
preacher uses lots of words that amt
in the dictionary at all.-Chicago Trib-
une.
at is very nice IN your wife to buy
cigars for you" remarked one man..
EYES," replied the other. after some
consideration. "it's a delicate and con-
siderate way of keeping me from spoil
ing her lace curtains with tobacco
smoke"
Three different walters at an hotel
asked a prim, precise little man at din
ner if he would have soup. A little an
noyed, he said TO the last waiter who
asked the question, rs it compulsory ?"
mo. SIR" said the waiter; Il think it's
mock turtle"
Young man." said the young wom-
ans father. you have boosted several
times that you possess an honored
name" Yes, sir" replied the foreign
sutton. haughtily. well. may l inquire
what bank it win be honored at and
for how muchT'
Mrs. Suddenrlch-What awful nice
spoons them are! Dealer-Yes, madam;
they are our very latest designs. Mrs.
S.-Are they to eat fruit with? Dealer
They are souvenir spoons. madam.
Mrs. S.-Gimme a dozen. Our new
French cook makes elegant souvenir.
Mstress-Why. Bridget, you surely
don't consider those windows washed d?
Bridget-Sure, l washed 'em nicely on
the inside, mum, so We can look out:
but l Intentionally lift thin little
dirty on the outside so thin aignoraut
Jones children mkt door couldn't look
ln.-Truth.
Small nostrils are said by Psychologists
to indicate small and weak lungs