The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-09-05
cor. SELLS FIGURES.
How He Gets Even With the Curious
Ouestioners-

0uestioners-
Col. Lewis Sells. the arenfc virtuoso.
who was in town yesterday perfecting
the final arrangements for the appear
ance of the Forepaugh- Sells Brothers
Circus Federation in Topeka Wednes-
day Sept,13 is the inventor Of a fake
statistics scheme that he considers just
about smooth as pluSh-liued glass
The colonel resOrted to this plan as a
retaIiatOry measure against the people
who lombard the travelling Snowman
rogat0ries that would drive the wisest
Philadelphia lawyer to strong drink
within a space Of twenty-fOur hours.
There is nothing in the world that
viii give a man the reputation for
great learning like fake statistics, says
the colonel. Scarcely anybody ever
dares contradict them, and rule
the bigger the figures used the more
impressive they are. 1t is simply &C
tonishiug what you can make people
believe if you only tell IL to them In ng-
ures. How do I do it2 Well. for in
stance we often take Julius Caesar. our
big eIephant-and by the way, he is
the largest elephant now travelling
and set him pushing our heavy wagons
and sometimes our cars around.
Powerful animal some OnlOOkers
Will say.
Why yes he is pretty strong I
will reply. / had an expert mathe-
matician figure out the power he exerts
when he pushes that car and IT is just
8. 627 pounds, or equal to the pushing
power of 4. 7S3 able bodied men These
figures which are exact. led me to some
equally interesting calculations, which
are Just as accurate. for. you know.
figures viii not lie Do you know that
the elephant has 5,S97. 533 separate and
distinct muscles, against the T,712 in a
mans body. Each one of these muscles
in the elephant has just seven times
the strength OF the mans. and 50, if he
were to exercise his entire strength It
would equal the combined strength OF
1.589 of the strongest men,.
That statement, with the figures
never twice alike, always upsets them,
and I can see the man have been
talking to whisper to his neighbOrs. and
ask me- How many persons can you
seat in your big tent. Mr.. Sells?'
- Wen, TO be exact, we can crowd in
lust 10 S37 persons. To do that our tent
must contain 952,35S yards of canvas.
AS there are 754 miles of thread in one
yard of canvas the thread in our tent,
if all Strengthened ont into one string,
would reach all the way around the
earth from here just ninety-three times
and still have enough over to reach
from here to a point six and One-third
miles beyond Odessa, in Southern Rus
sia This canvas. if cut up into baby
frocks, would make So, sos little dresses;
it would make 2. $50 mems suits. and it
would carpet the floors of 99z rooms the
size of the East Room at the White
House in Washington
Then their eyes begin to bulge out
When I see have got them going :
don't let up on them l will say to
them: Have you any idea of the dis
tauce covered by our leapers in a sea-
son? Well. L can tell you There are
twenty three Ieapers- They leap an
average of three times each perform
ance. Now the average distance they
leap is IS feet and 2-5 inches, while
the average height they jump in the air
from the springbOard is is feet and IA
inches Now a very simple calculation
shows that they leap a distance of p
$50. 325 miles rods and ~ inches. and
they jump up from the earth 236, 523
inches even I know the figures are
startling. gentlemen, but if you have
any doubt as to their accuracy. just
figure them out and you Will ind am
right
That's always a safe proposition,
for they never even doubt The effect
OF all this figure rot is that when they
come to the show they bow very defer
entialIy and tell their friends what a
wonderfully well informed man L am
I tell you, 1t is the easiest reputation in
the world TO gain. and you can get no
end of fun out of it without harming
any one. If you should happen TO run
across any one who wants to start out
to verify your figures just switch from
our measure and use the metric sys-
tenn DecimaIs viii stagger nine men
out of ten, and when you sling a few
dekometers. miIIimeters- dectometres,
and so on at them you have got them
sure. They viii think you are little
less than a savant- Try it on some of
your friends some time if you want
little innocent fun, and make yourself
an accepted authority upon almost ev-
cry subject, from peanuts to psychol-