Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, Ramsey Co., Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1905, 1899-08-18
MR., EP|Z00T WILKINS
He Makes a Brief Visit to His Home to Restore Do
nestle Harmony and Tells His Wife That W Air
Bein RO0ined Bi the Trusts"

grover WuZ PRESIDENT, ana most every
buddy round here he'd nothin tn du hoo
depended upon their trades fer a livin."
"Mariar," sed I, show kin yu be 80
hairless and so stoopidly Indifferent wen
we are beein rooined without KNOWN itp
These monstrous trusts Nv which I hev
alreddy spoken air the kuss Nv our noble
staff. Tha air bringin reproach ontu us
bi their hi handed and unlawful proceed
ms, and tina often du 1t in SIGH an insidu-
yus va tibet we dom kno nothin about it
ontil the graspin monopolies hev got us
intu their klutches. Already tina hev. pade
about a millyun dollars fer the excloosiv
privilij Nv Robin u.s."
swell, if tina hev pade a millyun dol
lars into the treasury Nv Moo Gersey we
air tibet much ahed, ain'twe2" sed Marian.
"Perhaps we air, " sed I, ''fruln a mum
ny pint Nv vue, but think Nv the moral
efeckt 1t will hev and whut a disgrace it
will be to a G%erseyInan tn think thet he
condoned SIGH %plunderin NV the people fer
the saik Nv a paltry millyun dollars" I
he'd hoped thet this appel tug Mariar's
staff pride wood be a conclusive argoo-
ment in mi favur, but it only served tn
stir up the Republican blud in her vanes,
and she launched fourth in a TRADE NV low
partisan abuse.
Don't say nothin tn me about the
moral efeckt Nv en%nything," sed she,
latter yu hev fer yeers supported the gang
Nv Dimicratic gamblers and boss racers
tibet run the staff NV Moo Gersey ontil
their own party he'd tn vote the Repub-
likin tickit tn git rid NV EN-. Yu Dimi-
Gratis hev jined hands with the Tammany
heelers NV Moo York and the anarchist
thugs Nv Chicago, jest ez yu did with the
Copperheds and Knights of the Golden
Circle doorin the sivil war. I repeet it,
Epizoot Wilkins, yu he'd better not cum
around here blatherin about yer high
moral idees ez practiced bi SIGH Dimicrats
ez yu and yer applejack soakin crowd. In
Std Nv botherin yer old he'd about trusts,
tibet ye don't no nothin about, yu he'd bet
ter git III intu the field and tri tn mock
sum fodder out Nv the sand fer yer family
tn live upon. l am tired Nv standin up
tn ornament a washtub tt help support
yu in yer l%aziness."
Never befoar he'd l seen Marian so on
strung and toomultuous, int I nu thare
must be sui unyooshal recon fer it.
Later on I found tibet our Republican
postmaster he'd bin givin her pints to ar
goo agin me and he'd filled her up with
idees predjoodishal tn our glorius parsy.
Thet IL whut MIR. Cleveland and 1 both
kali "offensiv craftsmanship" and tibet IL
jest whut 1t IL when it IL yoosed II our
~disadvantij. l never Good endoor tn hev
our postmaster exultin and zoobilatin over
Republican victories, and I Good alwaze
tel wen things he'd gone agin us bi the
idiotik grin tibet overspred hfz face wen
he delivered the mail FIJI mi Renuhlikin
naburs and exchanged congratulashuns
over our defect. I resent it ez an oncon-
stitooshunal Infringement Nv our rites
and privileges tn be obliged tn witness
SIGH enthusiastic hilarity upon the part
NV wun w the pade minyuns NV the guv-
erment. Wen I told him so, he only sed
we he'd yoosed the offs tn help our party.
But tibet IL different. Wen we kin yoose
1t ourselvs, it IL all right.
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