Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

of speech to fit his view about Colonel
Bryan.
"The colonel is an amiable gentleman
and a great orator." observed the ex-Vir>
ginian but he makes me think Of my old
neighbor Bill Andrews finest horse. He
was noble animal, high bred, spirited and
full of ginger, but when 1t came to running
he was never good for anything except to
come in second"
The present fashion among men Of wearing
the face smooth has given rise to many en-
barrassing situations. reports Washington
letter. A new member of congress frCm the
southwest who not only wears no beard, but
in common with most of his colleagues in
that part Of the country affects the clerical
garb, was an unwilling actor in an amusing
episode the other day about which it is
doubtful If he ever hears the last. One Of
the most noted flower merchants in town is
a venerable, little old woman, with eyes as
bright as a squirrels and face as wrinkled
winter apple, who peddles her wares
on the street. One day last week this wee
body was seen to rush frantically across the
avenue to tall slender smo this shaven
person, the new member from the southwest,
in fact, and thrusting handsome bunch of
roses in his hand, she stood before him as
though waiting for something. why do you
give me these flowers, my good woman?'
asked the embarrassed member of congress.
What shall pay you for them?' thinking,
evidently, to purchase them was the easiest
way out of the difficulty. "Oh! nothing,
nothing, your reverence" protested the
flower woman, "only your blessing for good
luck; and, falling upon her knees in front
of the astonished politician. she bent her
head in expectancy.
At an agricultural show in Dublin a
pompous member of parliament, who arrived
late, found himself on the outskirts of a
large crowd, relates the Dublin Independent.
Being anxious to obtain coed view for
himself and some lady friends who accom-
panied him, and, presuming that he was well
known to the spectators, he tapped burly
coal porter on the shoulder and peremptorily
ordered:
make way there!"
''Who are ye pushin' 2" was the unexpected
response.
''Do you know who l am. sir?" cried the
indignant M. p. "Im a representative of
the people!'
YAH" growled the porter, "but we're the
bloomin' people themselves
Washington raconteur tells the following
on Senator Stewart The senator was evil
IDENTIFY in a "stringing" mood when he re-
lated his early experiences in the Nevada
mining camps:
"When I was young fellow" he began,
"I was very strong and active and was
famous throughout the camps on account Of
my abilities as a runner. We used then to
have Caledonian games Sundays and at
short distance sprints defeated all comers
Finally, after having beaten all the local
champions, no one could be found to run
against me, and therefore, in order to get
up matches, peculiar form Of competition
was hit upon, and one that I have never
seen tried elsewhere. Being a gymnast as
we'll as a runner I could, Of course, turn
handsprings with great ease, and on account
of my great height I covered long stretch
of ground with each handspring. This led
to my being matched in short sprints of
from fifty to 100 yards, I to turn hand
springs while my opponent did straight run
ming"
Here the senator paused, but an awe
stricken listener managed to stammer OUT