The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1899-11-28
SHORT STORIES
OF THE DAY

Senator Depew's fame as teller of
amusing stories and anecdotes is quite as
widespread and well-founded as are his
achievements as man of affairs. 1t Is in
teTesting, therefore, to have him indicate
few Of the anecdotes which seem to him to
contain the essential ingredients of that
rare work of art, "a good story" and the
following tales are the result of this Sc
. lection:
81 wits delivering a speech at the annual
banquet of the St. Georges society. and in
the course of my talk l casually remarked
that if my jokes were not always appre-
ciated. by my British hearers at the mo-
ment they were sprung upon them, by the
time the next yearly dinner came around
they were sure to see the point. I don't
think that's such deucedly funny thing to
say, growled a stolid red-faced son of
Johnny Bull, who sat opposite me at the
table. He had broken in loudly and inter-
rupted my flow of language. Oh replied
before taking up the thread of my speech,
that's all right, my dear fellow You'll see
the fun in it year from now"
Here is typical Depew story, and its
author is particularly fond of this off
spring, born it was under sunny skies
and rehaibilitated to point a moral in one
of the senator's famous political speeches:
Last time l was travelling in the south
1 had to put up over night ait a second
rate hotel in Western Georgia. 1 said to
the clerk when l entered: Where shall
autograph?
Autograph? said THE clerk.
a. Yes; sign my name, you know
% oh, right here AS l was signing my
name in the register, in came three roughly
closhed, unshorn fellows Immediately re-
cognized genuine Georgia Crackers. One
of the men advanced to the desk.
a. Will you autograph asked the clerk,
his face agrow with pleasure that comes
from the consciousness of intellectual SUI
periority =
Certainly said the Georgia Cracker,
his face no less radiant that that of the
clerk; mines rye
There was escape for the clerk and
he treated with as good grace as he could
command under the circumstances. Next
morning l said to him: That was too bad,
the way you got caught last night.
well l suppose l shouldn't complain
he replied; but the next time 1 speak a
foreign language in, my own country I'll
know what I'm talking ABOUT"
AS back-handed slap at well known
member of congress who is too fond of
looking upon the wine when 1t is anilined,
Mr.. Depew tells this anecdote:
1.-THE member of congress was being shaw
ed by an aged colored barber in Washing
ton. The shop was favorite one with the
prominent men of the capital, and the old
darby who presided over it often boosted
that he had shaved every great statesman
since the Madison administration which
may or may not have been true. The MEM
Der of congress referred to was being
shaved by the veteran one day, when he
said to the latter
Uncle, you must have shaved many
famous men,?
oh, yes sab; has indeed
And great many of those famous per-
sonages must have sat in this very chair
where am sitting, eh?
Oats right, sab. Dey's set jes' whar
yo is a settin' dis moment. sab. Yes. sab.
An Use jes' been a noticin'- "a mighty
Gurus similarity between yo' and Daniel
Webster, sab.
"'You don't say!' exclaimed the highly
delighted law-maker Is the similarity in
the shape of my had UncleT,
".Oh, no, sab. 'Tain't dat
~Ts It my MANNER
-.No. boss, faint yore manner, nudder;
hits yore breff.' :"
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