davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13
His Double Demise.

"Wull, wullp' CALCULATED McLubber-
II, In the midst Of his perusal Of a
newspaper which be had carelessly
picked up. "Bedad, poor Duffy is dead
againl An ut sames to how happened
in dhe same way as ut did prayvously
-he has been blown up by prematoor
blast. OF shud how fought thot vance
'wud how been enough 10 satisfy him,
but thin he always was wan ,Jav thin
felers thot niver know .dheir own
emoinds." .rsr4 .g,se s+ .sess
'.Phwot are yez tarkdn aboutE asked
Mrs. McLubberty IN some surprise.
duffy dead again? L. ut crazy ye
-areY' u r
'sNo; OF do be r.ading ut roight here
In dhe papy, an 7s'. - =
Lave me look at thot dockymint!
iWhoy, yez blunderhead dhis Is 2
}year-owld papy thot Oh laid out 70
spread on dhe shalfrs sss. - sxa
!, '.Is thot 50? Wul1 ut relaves me
moind. OF was sorry to t'ink av such
bad luck happenin to poor Duffy. -
Harper>s Bazaar.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13

Just at the busy time one afternoon
when the crowds from the depart
ments packed the cars tired looking
man with a painful limp came in with
the crowd at the Fifteenth street
transfer station and stood clinging to
a strap just in front of Senator Gull
lom. The senator looked up, and. see
ing the weary face, instantly rose and
offered his seat The man demurred
The senator insisted.
''Sit down, sit down." said he cheer
lily. you mustn't stand; sit down."
The man sank into the seat. and the
tall Illinoisan contented himself with
a strap. From beneath great poppy
laden hat the bright eyes Of a little
girl, near whom he stood, peered up
at him eagerly. At last he looked
down and saw her.
Wont you take my seatT she said
politely.
The senator smiled downsst her and
shook his head.
mo, thank you. child" be said "You
mustn't ever give up your seat to q
man. It sets a bad example. Chi
cago Tribune.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13
two Austriap Pops.

~ Two AQSfKt0O FOpA.
The two greatest dandies at the EN-
press Maria Theresa's court were
Count Crobor and Marquis Taroncca.
These two men made a wager as to
who should appear In the most costly
costume at the next court ball. jewels
to be debarred. The Marquis Taroncca
appeared In most gorgeous apparel and
was considered by every one to have
triumphed over his rival, who was at
tired In q plain satin suit While the
jury were deciding Count Crobor threw
open his plain satin cloak, and, placing
II on the ground, showed that IT. was
lined with one of Correggio's most Ia
nous works The count won the wager
1000 ducats-but the Correggio had
cost loo, 1000 ducats.
The same count once paid visit to
Paris with a large party Of friends
and entertained them at dinner"
which lasted three days and nights. It
10 interesting to note that this extrava-
CANT nohleman dted Ia penury some 80
years later. Having exhausted his
means be was pensioned By the EN-
peror FranctA but In when Fran
cts died. his pension has reduced to
about ESQ q year. OnsldrFhng In mid
winter the frozen corpse Of the count
was discovered on heap o. refuse on
the shores OF the Danube.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13


There was especial 81 oathe
disturbance OF the Old burial
ground sdjoining the Oomm8S in Bes-
ton, through posttou Of with the
subway runs. It ves necessatSsto re-
move the remains oe $40 persns In
TERED there. One elderly nm Of
Scotch descent made . great fuSs over
what be termed 'the enoemity d. mo-
Testing the bones Of hts ancestors"
After much argument delay and per
suasion the venerable Scot was In
duced to agree that II yhe city wddld
construct q tomb according 10 his
ideas be would consent to the removal
without causing further trouble. On
the day the vault was completed the
guardian Of his psogenitors was taken
over to inspect this new repository.
Now" said DR.. Green, q former
mayor, who had charge Of the work OF
removing the bodies, you can set
day and the remains can be brought
over and deposited hera"
''Whatr exclaimed the old gentle
man .'Hsne thsts nicesnew tonbi ut
tered up with those Old bones7 Never!
Close up the Old tomb and Ie< 'em be!'
Thus did be secure, without cost, a
new family tomh-New York Tribune.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13

a clergyman Of Georgia vas once
standing IN the couxehouse when 3
Hoosier came tn to sse the ordinary IN
order to procure marriage license.
The countryman asked for "a pair OF
licenses" and ON making the purchase
necessary TO being united in the holy
bonds OF mat14mony inquired OF the
prAnary, WHO can gtt 20 marry
meT' ,s ~ .ytL +. '4..:. -
The ordinary Nepa3ed that he could
perform the ceremony, or the parson,
standing near, would probably sccom-
mpdate him. The countryman turned
10 the parson and asked II he would
marry him. The parson readily con-
scented and asked the would be bride
groom, where's your gal?
He replied. ''Out yondef-in the
street"
The parson said. -Fetch her tn"
Then she was ''fotch" in and the
'knot tied" The bridegroom asked
the parson the amount Of Indebtedness
Incurred and was told that no charge
twas made, but that he always left the
matter for the bridegroom to decide. !
The latter replied: ''I've got no mon-'
ey. I've got load Of punkins out yon-2
aer. I'll give you q punkin. "-Homi-
sette Review. ,.' ..
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13

Bad management keeps more PEG.
pie in poor circumstance than any
other one cause. sssTo fbe suceessful
Que must look ahead .andsplan ahead
30 that when favorable oppprtunit
presents itself he is ready TO take ad.
vantage OF it. A little forethought
will also save much expense and val.
liable time. A prudent and careful
man will keep a bottle OF Chamber
lain's collie, cholera and diarrhoea
remedy in the house, the shfftless fell
low will wait until necessity compels
it and then ruin his best horse going
for doctor and have q big doctor
bill! to pay, besides; one pays out q
cents, the other is out hundred dol
lars and then wonders why his neigh
Dor is getting richer while he is get
ting poorer. For sale by Hanson g.
Emerson.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13

: In my opinion, the secret Of money
making depends chiefly upon Eve
things push, -sQuareness, = clear head
edness, economy and rigid adherence
to the rule Of not overwo1king. Too
much work Is worse than no work at
all. It undermines the constitution
and units man mentally and phys
ically for the battle Of life. Ten hours
q day Of steady work Is as much as any
man-no matter how robust-ought to
attempt. IN addition to these things,
avoid being too grasping; better make
a small profit by sure means than at
tempt to make larger one by uncer-
tain and risky measures.
Carnegie.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13

"Raby was taken very bad while
you were out, num-" said the new
servant girl.
"Oh, dearr' said the young wife. els
he better nowY' 80
"Oh, he's all right now; but he was
bad at first. He seemed to come over
quite faint; but found his medicine in
the cupboard"-
Found his medicine! Good gracious!
What have you been giving the child?
There's no medicine in the cupboard. ;"
''Oh, yes, there is, mum. It's written
on it,
And that girl triumphantly produced
bottle labeled kid Reviver.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13
No wonder 1t Panied.

A tender hearted old woman noticed
horse with a broad rubber band
stretched around its leg just above the
hoof. She asked the waiting driver Of
the cab why it was there and suggest
ed that it was more than cruel to place
It on the animal.
"Yes, num-" replied the cabby, '1t' 5
painful to the horse, no doubt, but that
Is not the worst Of it It's the getting
of It on that pains the poor thing. Why.
I'VE had to stretch the band and pull 1t
over the horses head and down all his
body to get it on"
"For the lands sake alive" exclaim-
ed the woman and walked away hor-
eified.-Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13
A woman,s HUN.


or course you know the story Of the
woman who beard two men at a hotel
table discussing her very impertinent-
~ In German, w6ereupon she very po-
Ntely asked ono Of them for the salt In
German. It's q very old story, and
sometimes the language is French, and
the salt is left out, but the story is the
same. and goodness only knows bow
many writer's. from Howells up and
from HoweIls down, have told 1t with
variations. So old 1t Is that when a
woman know began to tell It to me
the other day as q personal experience
4 felt the JOY that one feels at meeting
anew an old friend. a. '
!, II was in q car" she began. 'and
two men sat opposite me. OF course !
knew they were talking about me- I'd
have known It even II, they had
been speaking Sanskrit, which they
weren't They were gussiping tn Ger
man. stood It as long as could, and
then I dropped my purse. One OF the
men Instantly picked II up Thank
You, r said In German. Ny dear, IL
You could have seen those mems faces!
They didn't say another word for six
blocks"
'sBut what were they saying; about
Hour' NE, z"s 't5 53lsS u Yar1sF, !
.,oe. INA sshs snsasiy. Z haven't
m tdeA. 8 I DON'T kiiow one vosd Of,
German BIZ 1f66k youss ,ps t"sh
AndfI wondef II che woman IN tbe
pery wbo ssks7 fcr Us 'sats 13sesli, PER
haps her request too, was what tn the
Rernscular ono csls . n8u0. washing.
Non HfnS. ~. ss isr7,-
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13
Dr.. Fenner' Blood and Liver
Remedy sa Nerve 7 onic.

A famous remedy by a famous physician
guaranteed to cure liver complaints and ner.
vousness. People run down by sickness
and overworked should try it. If some
thing else has failed you that's no argu-
ment against this great medicine. Stop to
reflect. This preparation is the prescription
of one of Americas most eminent physiJ
clans and the first bottle is guaranteed b
Scheldrup & Fiesler to give satisfaction or
money refunded.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13
A Word to the w ise is su
fiCient.

Ely's Cream Balm has completely cared
me OF catarrh when everything else failed
Alfred W. Stevens, Caldwell, Ohio.
Ely's Cream Balm works like charm; it
has cured me of the most obstinate case Of
cold in the head: would not be without i.
-ffed'k Fries, aS3 Hart-st., brooklyn, N.
Y.
Alec trial sise.or the soc size Of Ely,s
Cream Balm will be mailed Kept by drug
gists Ely Brothe-s, So Warren street,
NY # ss .
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13
4 Geo.eia nill Of Fare.

A southwest Georgia negro was dis
covered in the act Of chopping mon
.ster alligator into steaks.
"You don't intend to eat him, do
your he was asked.
Oats what aim ter do wild I'm
was the reply.
Pretty tough-isn't It?
Eyes sub, he's tough, ez you say, but
wien you salts en- peppers i'm, en- suns
him, he's film. suh-he's fillin"-Atlan
IA Constitution.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13
where They Went.

The professor was demOlfshing las
he believed Darwin and his theories
a task which he frequently engaged 10
when he triumphantly wound up
with the question: RI
"If we are monkeys, where are our
tailsY' a
The lecturer, who had been speaking
his full hour, was startled to hear -
reply from one Of the audience:
1--WE have sat on them 30 long that
they are worn of"
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13
A Bad Steer.

City Editor~Mr. Strong has been In
today. and he had murder in his eye.
How in time did you come to speak Of
Mrs. Strong's alleged husband" In
that paragraph about her accident9
]. Fresh--I did it to steer clear of a
libel suit. You know you told me al
ways to say alleged thief" alleged
murderer and that sort of thing.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13
And Then Eat Him UP.

. One day Tommy accompanied his
mother OH a shopping expedition. and
seeing a large candy man tn a confec-
ltioner's window. he paused In front of
LIT with q wistful look; then. turning
away, regretfully, be said, Mamma, I
could lick that fellow with both hands
tied behind me. Troy Times.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13
THE PROFESSORS PRIZE.

It Was Something He Could Beat
but II Got the Best Of Him.
One evening last winter one of Adel-
bert's popular professors attended a
social function where the guests play
ed progressive pedro, game in which
the worthy educator lays no claim to
being an expert In fact, on the pres
ent occasion he was credited with but
two progressions, a score of really as
tonishing smallness. Naturally, what
Is termed the 'sbooby prize fell to him,
and this time it took the form of
double yolk egg, with the following
sarcastic legend attached:
Something you can beat"
The professor smilingly accepted the
reward, and after tt was passed around
and joked upon he finally slipped it
into the side pocket Of his overcoat
and then straightway forgot its exist
ence. ssset
When the party broke up, he accom-
panied two young ladies' to their
home. When they reached the house
and the latchkey was produced and
used, it was found that the front door
was locked so tightly that it refused
to yield to ordinary pressure. So the
professor put his hip against panel
and pushed hard
There was a dull crash, mild yell.
the professor leaped in the air and
convulsively clutched at his side.
The double yolk had exploded!
A moment later the afflicted educator
gingerly drew from his pocket pair
Of exceedingly yellow gloves, followed
by mufi1er Of the same gaudy tint.
And the ladies' leaned against the rail-
ing and laughed until they cried
OF course they promised not to tell,
but in some unfathomed way the story
like the eggIeaked out.-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13
Relief In SIX Hours.

stressing Kidney and Bladder, oiseases
relieved in six hours by the "New Great
South America kidney curs g
ness in relieving pain in bladder, kidneys
and back, in male or female. Relieves re-
tention of water almost Immediately. If YOU
want quick relief and cure this is the Rem
edy. Sole by Scheldrup & Fiesler.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13

This is the greatest dairy country In
tie world, yet in some Of the older Eu-
fopean countries two or three times as
much milk and cheese are consumed
per capita as in the United States.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13
"Money to patent good ideas may
be secured by our aid. Address THE
ATENT RECORQ, Baltimore, Md.
81 az ts
!! Priceless ! i lie Pain ali:


IN 10 price can Be placed On pain, MstheS's
Friend lis worth its weight in gold az IN allevh
ator, NY wife suffered more In ten minutes with
either Of her other two children than she did al
together with her last, having previously use1
to any one expecting to become mother" says
Q customer.
Thus writes Henderson Dale, Druggist,
Of Carmi, H., to the Bradfeld Regulator
Company, Of Atlanta, Ca, the proprie-
tors and manufacturers Of Mothers
Friend.n This successful remedy is not
one Of the many internal medicines adj
vertised to do unreasonable N1ings, but .
scientifically prepared 1iniment especially
effective in adding strength and elasticity
to thoseparts Of woman organism which
bear the severest strains of childbirth.
The liniment may be used at any and
all times during pregnancy up to the
very hour of confinement The earlier Il
Is begun, and the longer used, the more
perfect will be the result, but It has been
used during the last month o1V with
Great benefit and success.
It not only shortens labor and Ieasene
tho pain attending il but greatly diIuin-
ishes the danger to life Of both nothe1
and child, and leaves the mother In cum
aition more favorable to speedy recovery.
6 Mothers Friend " y sold By drugYis
ats$1.oo, o. cent by express e recdip1 q
Valuable book for wssae !. -.
Baby issBorn. !" sent free 81 appiaca&im.
- aaADeGLe asaakATos 90. aslA g,
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13

Copying ink may be made ny Us-.
solving lump sugar in, the common ink.
used in the portion Of one dram Of the
former to one ounce Of the latter.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13

Some royal crowns are merely silk
wadded caps ornamented with jewels
ana pendants.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13

One way to hear pin drop is to
heat 1t red hot and drop it into q Keg
Of powder. Record.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13
PALACE ON WHEELS.

The Buriington's new Minneapolis and
St. -Chicagoand St. Louis Train con-
sists OF
A buffet library car
A combination sleeping car
Astandard sleeping car
A compartment sleeping car
A dining car
A reclining chair car
A day coach (high back seats)
The most costly, beautiful, luxurious cass
on earth. Steam hea:ed; Electric lighted:
Wide Vestibuled. No extra fares.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13

: Quick as the quickest, the Burlington
Minneapolis and St. Paul-Chccago and ST.
Louis Limited. An Electric Lighted, steam
heated, wide vestibuled train, fresh from the
builders hands. Built at cost of over $780,
900. Most beautiful, luxurious, comfortable
complete train ever placed in service on any
railroadin the country. IL
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13

Hfrs. ]. J. crrd. my wife. was adRicte6
cnnr ysars with the rheumatism. She
tsied many fins physicians without help.
0he used Dr.. Sawyer's Family Cure.
which cured her. andto-day she is entire
b we'll / cannot recommend Family
Cure teo highly for all diseases Of tha
stomach. liver and kidneys.
I2s't l''s'. Rock. All
4 written guarantee IN -ars Of money
eetunded with every d ..x cotsle. Priee,
q 90. 6oc. and CSC.
A. written guarantee 20 c1re OF money
sefdnded with everyb sof Or. Savyer'S
Pastries, which cur I'll diseases peer.
iax - women. Price. s1.Oo psr hQ.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13

SALESMAN WANTED.-We want q
couple OF reliable men In this county
to sell our Minnesota grown fruits
farm seeds. Write for terms if want
ing steady work, and good pay.
TM JExHnA NURSERY Co.
I5.l5 AAlka CITY. MnA.
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1899-07-13
A Dinner Test.

In Siberia there Is good custom
that a bride, on coming to her hus-
bands house, has to give dinner pre-
pared with her own hands as test Of
the education she has received. II she
succeeds in gratifying her guests. it Is
taken as proof not only Of the young
wonan's own excellence, but also as a
recommendation Of her whole family.
by whom she was Instructed.
4 TIN Is one Of the, oldest known met
aha The Chinese have used It In the
Fabrication of their =brasses~ssand
hrcnzea. from dine mmernnstAA
The state herald., 1899-05-05
HAXTUN LOCALS.

Gene Tiffany returned Inst week from
trip to whcailand, wyo.
Mr.. Jordan from whsailand, wyo.,
has purchased the S. @. Yeager farm
iIastun aud h. and his wife arrived ut
fiaxtun last week and will make their
home on the farm.
N. ". MARBLE Of the Beatrice Cream
cry Company was IN Hsrtun Tuesday on
business connected with tho separator
plant.
win Show OF Ilolyoko wsa IN naI,un
Tu,a1ay.
William Decker will 90 10 uun,ley,
Neb., the last oi the week 10 work for
tho Brnirie, Creamery Company on the
construction Of the separator plant nj
that place.
J. 4. Taught completed his contract
Tor the construction Of ths separator
building nt hnxinn Tuesday mud took
III. evening tram tor Iiuntley, Neb..
where h. will construct separator
building.
Mr.. Taylor Of the Bea'rice Creamery
Company arrived In haztun Tuesday 10
oversee the placing IN position Of the
separator machinery.
o. Hansen completed the wall Tor the
IiasiuD separator last week, It's iGi
feet deep
More business is bsinR transacted 10
llasIun than At any other timo for soy.
rral years.
Il would 30 great convenience Tor
the people u the B& NJ Company would
locnie IN agent at liltiun.
rhs llaxtun separator plnni will loo
op"ned Tor business Friday May 0. The
committee on arrangements for the open.
ing bavo mnds preparations tot M inter
o4iina program mud n tie day ia fiyors.
bio there will be- lnfsc attendance u
Tho pnlrona ~ the creamery.
The state herald., 1899-05-05

thaf there 10 an immense portion Of the
ram belt where alfalfa will not thrive
1t is true alfalfa will grow in dry eli
mate but il it doas the roots which &C
down to a considerable depth mu st reach
moisture, for 1t takes u grent amount Of
moisture to nourish his plant or rather
make the nourishment available. II the
roots cannot penetrate to moisture on
account Of its being too far below the
surface Of hardpau, solid dry clay. or 9th
er cansss the moisture must Le supplied
by irrigation.
In order to make \ universal hrebrcak
for the dry belt it will require somo plant
or grass which will keep green during
extreme drouths, and also start very
early in the spring and withstand the
frost lato in the fall. have grown bro.
mus inermis the past eight years and
have found il to fulfill oil Of these condi-
tions. 1t stays green, no matter how
dry the weather and frost has to be very
severe before it kills tho tops. l. never
kills the bottom portion Of the grass. In
all these eight years have never seen IL
in condition TO burn freely and only
when there was IN immense crop left on
the ground 40 that there would be q
large mass OF the tops dry very late in
the fail would it burn at all. Railroad
companies, indiylduls aud s,oclkmen could
make permanent iirebreak of great val
ne to them by sowing this grass, IS it
subdues all other plants and after once
sown il would need no attention for many
years.
In no other way could railroad COM
panies demonstrate the possibilities OF
the lands through which they pass FOR
40 little money as by sowing bromns in
ermis on oach side for frebreak. 1t
would he permanent advertisement
for the entire country. Bromus inermis
does not depend Tor its growth on roots
which penetrate 10 great depth, but on
the immense number OF its roots which
are line and wood-like and penetrate ey-
cry portion of the coil near the surface
and enables the grass to grow and thrive
with an extremely small amount OF nloist.
ure. II will make an excellent growth
on land where alfalfa is a complete fail
urc on account Of drouih, frost aud other
causes. have tested 1t eide by side un.
der exactly the same conditions und
found this result to he correct Bromus
inermis also mnkea M excellent quality
Of hny and pasture for all kiuds of stock
ndfowis. TITS by far the best grass
which has yet been introduced for the
dry bolt.-Donver Field aud Farm.
The state herald., 1899-05-05

The ancien,H believed that rheumatism
WIS the work OF demon within man.
Any one who bss had an attack OF sciRi
ic or inilammstory rheumatism will agree
,ha, the iuilici,nn i. demoniac enough to
warrant the belief. II has never been
claimed that Chamberlaln's Pain Balm
would cast out demons, but 1t will cure
rheumatism, and hundreds bear tesii-
mony to the truth OF this statement. 0ne
application relieves tho pain, and thi,
quick relief which il affords IL alone
worth many times iis cost. For saio by
i. X. Nobls,.
The state herald., 1899-05-05

Prof. Hicks certainly made no mistake
IN his prediction for ths storm which
this section of country experienced last
sunday. Between the rain, rnow aud
wind Saturday night and Sunday fore
noon ~erc decidedly stormy. Tn. sur.
face Of the ground ~ns becoming little
dry but the rain and snow have left 1t
In fine condition for the growing crop
and the farmers are feeling quite cnthu-
sins,ic over tho prospects Tor good crops
this y~ar.