The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-08-14
Timely Varns
for LazY Men

Yesterday afternoon was what many
people call a lazy afternoon" There
was little stir on the streets. The
weather was neither cold nor hot-a
sort of happy, indolent, lazy medium.
Thousands of people were out of the
city and others were at Sunday school
The hackmen wandered up and down in
front of their stands and spent houre
in Analysing their thoughts. A group
of officers and sub-oficers sat in the
jailer's office at the police station and
told lazy stories.
4 used to have lazy spells when 7
was n lad" put in Jailer Bowie but
| don't know what it is to feel that
way now. I am probably the oldest
man IN the crowd, and I'll bet Tn the
sprightlieSt. l get up every morning at
5 O'Clock. The weather has no effect on
my ambitions"
Il once knew druggist in Essex
county in Massachusetts, that was too
lazy to make money. l was a kid
then, and a man sent me down to the
store post haste to have a prescription
filed. oh, it's too warm to work. said
the druggist Bring your prescription
around tomorrow
But the person is very sick and
must have the medicine at once l
said.
Cant help it, he replied, and before
| could say another word the fellow
was snoring"
dent" said an ex-policeman, who had
just borrowed the last chew of Tom
Boyle's tobacco. Il was sent as fast as
my legs could carry me to a drug store
in FL Paso after an antidote for poison
A man had accidentally swallowed a
lot of rough on rats, thinking it
powder his doctor had given him the
day before. The old druggist was sit
ting on the back porch turning an ice
cream freezer.
Cant stop now he said. My wife
is going to a picnic and must have this
ice cream, and it is not nearly frozen
Let me turn the crank said !.
while you fix up the dose He turned
the job over to me and went into the
store. AS soon as he was out of sight
took the cover of the freezer off and
dumped a hatful of pebbles into the
cream. When he returned I was tug
| ging away at the crank. He gave it a
| turn and said:
, Good boy; here's dime. When
| I have another batch of ice cream to
| make I'll send for you
Twenty years ago. in Durango" put
| in Detective Murphy, "a lot of toughs
came in to take the town. Just before
! they arrived a man came up to me on
| the street and asked me to hurry down
| town after a doctor, who had recently
| arrived from Boston, saying that his
| wife was very sick. l went to the office,
! but the doctor said he was too tired
| to go up town. / returned with this
| announcement. The nan handed me a
| big six-shcoter and said: You tell that
| fellow to come, and let him look into
! this barrel while you're talking. That
| made me feel as big as Jesse James
| and I went, and, by George, the doctor
went to the sick woman's bed in hur-
! ry. Just about that time the tougH S
! from the lower country captured the
! town. The sick Woman's husband, the
| doctor and | began to fortify the house
| by hanging up mattresses and other
| bullet-proof material on the wlals and
over the windows. While the doctor
was trying to bar the door bulet
from a desperado's gun crashed
through the glass panel and into his
neck. He died in his tracks. The
house was riddled with bullets, as We're
many others. The city bank was looted
and several persons killed. l have otter
wondered since if that doctors laziness
wasn't pulling for his life when he re-
fused TO answer my first CALL