The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1899-01-05
SOME SWEAR-oFF STORIES.
The Moral of Which Is That While
Many Swear Off, but Few Stick.


Il once swore off smoking" said the
clubman. THAT was when l was young
and did not know myself. ! swore of
with a friend, and the penalty was
suit of clothes to cost $50. The condi-
ton was that we were not to smoke in
town. When travelling or hunting or
fishing-out of town, in fact-we would
be allowed TO smoke. The scheme
worked we'll for some time; then l be-
gan to want to smoke. l battled with
desire for several weeks, each day of
the period becoming a harder trial than
the preceding. At last, when the long
ing became too great l went to see my
partner in misery to tell him that we
had better call the contract off, as l
could not stand it. He was not at home.
He had gone out of town a week before
and would be absent another week.
Then l broke down. The thought or
the party of the second part smoking
himself blue in the face while l suffered
was unbeara BILE. So, with the fine of
$50 staring me in the face. l bought
cigar and smoked it. 1t was worth $50.
l thought. But I did not die for lamb
only; l smoked vast quantity of
cigars before he came home. Then l
went TO him and told him to go order
the suit that I had broken the con-
tract. He smiled quietly as if to him
self, and then said: An right, old fell
low but do not be disturbed about the
suit. l kept the contract just three
days
Another man said: There were two
men in this town who swOre off, the
breaker of the contract to pay the
other for a ten-dollar hat. Finally
one of them weakened, saying to HIM
self he did not mind giving SO for
smoke. While he meditated over the
matter however, he thought out a
scheme to save himself on the hat. He
went to the hatters and bought ten
dollar hat and had it charged to the
other fellow. Then he called on the
other fellow, and, pointing to the hat,
said: See that hat old boy? 1t is one
l have just had charged to you on that
swear-off contract The other fellow
cried out: How in the dickens did
you find out I had been smoking?
Never mind said the other. "A little
bird told me. "
We'll, swore off" said another club
man, and to make the matter memoir
able l handed a dozen fine Havana
cigars to a friend, telling him to smoke
them, as l had sworn off. 1 was like
the man who found the first day pretty
bad, the second horrible, and the third
no trouble at all, because he began
again to smoke About the third day
my resolution died out, and then
thought of the fine Havanas. 1 met my
friend. Where are those twelve cigars
I loaned your l asked. Here he said,
I knew you would want them again
And he took one for deposit charges.
l smoked the rest"
Il swore off once said another club
man, and it was just as easy as any
thing you ever heard of. l did it by
logic l found I was smoking one cigar
after another and never getting enough.
so I said to myself that if 1 had to de-
prive myself at some time L might as
we'll begin with the first as with the
steenth cigar Thus 1 convinced my
self I would have no greater difficulty
than in refusing the steenth cigar, and
such proved to be the case. l had not
the slightest longing for tobacco after
I had made UP my mind that l had
quit. I kept a box of cigars on the
mantel, for I said 1 might want to
smoke. and I did not intend to treat
myself as one in whom L had no con-
fidence.
Now mark what happened. About a
month after l had stopped smoking
began to have periodical indigestion,
followed by cramps, which came on at
a certain hour of the evening of each
day and grew worse and worse until
they were quite serious l tried all
kinds of diet and even starved myself,
but without relief. At last, on the night
of a strikers ball I was actually I'M
able to go out, although / had made a
great effort and succeeded in dressing
for the entertainment. I lay in bed
and groaned for several hours. The
next day was New Years and of course,
there was a holiday dinner at my
house. Said I: I have dieted and
starved myself and it is doing no good.
1 Will eat one good square meal and
then die SO I sat at the table and ate
everything in sight-made a regular
feast of it. Then, as / was booked for
the grave. or thought l was, I said 1
would make a complete Job of it and
smoke a cigar l did not feel the want
of a cigar The taste had not plagued
me in the slightest all that time. But
smoked now just to go out of the world
in decent style, like a good diner
should. Then I smoked another cigar.
Having done my duty 1 patiently
awaited for the pains to begin. They
did not do so, nor have they at any
time since done so. I have not had
trouble from that day to this. Mobile
Daily Register.