Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1899-05-17

Fiddler-Yes, Boston has turned out
. great many musicians-''yOurs truly
among the number. Quiz-Well, how
:an you blame her?-Brooklyn Life.
Il find twelve dollars high price for
this parrot. I suppose he speaks q
good dealf" mo, not at all, but he un-
derstands everything" - Fliegende
Blatter.
Teacher Ito class)-"In this stanza.
what is meant by the line: The shades
Of night were falling fastT" Bright
Scholar-'The people were pulling
down the blinds."-Ex.
The First Mate-"How clear and
bright 1t Is In the West" The Second
Mate-"Why not? The captain has
been sweeping the horizon with hiS
glass. s."--Indianapolis Journal. a.
The General-"I have stood unmoved
when shells were bursting around me.
Could you" Romeo Barnstomer--
Well that would depend a great deal
upon the age Of the eggs."-Life.
Some Of these summer young men,"
remarked Miss Cayenne, pensively, IRE
mind me Of Dresden china" Because
they are beautiful?' "Yes. And they
get broke so easily."-Washingto Star.
Flasher-I saw you out horseback
riding this morning. old man. Dunn
bleton-DOn't say! Well, was 1 in It.
| 70 to speak! Flasher-The saddle2 Well
at very rare Richmond Dis
patch.
Why don't they revive that song that
used to be SO popular few years agor
Il don't know what one you mean"
why, 1t ran like this: The Spanish
cavalier stood in his retreat '"-Phila.
delphia Bulletin. J.
Uncle Frank-"Well, Willie, what did
you see at the circus tO-dayY Willie
(whO was especially pleased with the
Shetland pOnies)-'LOts and lots Of
things: but the best were the CON
densed horses.
Hogan-'>Oi wonder who will be tn
last man on earth" Grogan-"Oi dun
no, amy more than you. But it is to
be hoped that he'll be an onndertaker.
20 he will know how to bury himself
Observation-Disclosures Journal.
Come on, fellows" cried a mosquito
who happened to overhear a quarrel be
tween Mr.. and Mrs. Henpeck: this Is
q cinch. heard the woman tell her
husband he was the most thin-skinned
man she ever knew."-Philadelphis
Record. 1
ANA 80 my old Name, E6ytIe Light
foot. has become a queen of comic op-
era! To think that might have mar
ried Lottie ten years ago! All! If 1 had
If 1 had! Oh, well! II had, 1t isn't
at all likely that we'd be married nOwW
Puck.
Poor Nivtns! He can't forget his
early ways" Il heard some one say
he handled golfsticks as II they were
pickaxes." Worse than that. Let him
have his stick In the air for q stroke and
he'll drop 1t If the noon whistle blows"
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Judge-Why did you commit this un-
provoked assault? Prisoner-I wanted
to get my picture in the papers. Judge
Well, will you be good If 1 let you
go2 Prisoner-I am afraid not. now
want to kill the artists who made the
pictures.-New York Journal.
III 1 were a man. she said, you
would not find me here to-day. I'd be
away fighting for my country" "If
you were a man." he replied, "you
wouldn't find me here to-day, either. 1,
too, would be away, fighting for my
country" After that all he had to do
was to gain papa's consent.-Cleveland
Leader.
The Father-That young man who
used to call on you and stay so late Is
In the navy now, l understand? The
Daughter-Yes. papa; and think of it!
his boat has been disabled! The last
l heard Of him he was being towed in.
The Father-Well, don't let me see him
around here at all hours of the night,
or you will see him being toed out
Yonkers Statesman.
the subject of "chest protectors" which
he recommends to people on every Oc-
casion. "a great thingv he says. "They
make people more healthy. increase
their strength, and lengthen their
lives" But what about our ances-
tOrsT' some one asked. They didn't
have any chest protectors, did they"
They did not" said Mr.. Simkins, tri-
umphantly, land where are they now7
All deadr'-Tit-B Bits. -
A clergyman preached a rather long
sermon from the text Thou art
weighed in the balance and found want
Ing" After the congregation had lis
tened about an hour. some began to get
weary and went out; others soon fol-
lowed, greatly to the annoyance Of the
minister. Another person started,
whereupon the parsOn stopped his ser
mon and said ''That is right, gentle
men; as fast as you are weighed pass
Out!' He continued his sermon some
time after that, but no one disturbed
him by leaving.
For twenty-five years Henry Zeig-
Ter has owned a farm of three hundred
acres in Pittston, Pa. He has always
~ hoe vck 1,oov Il