The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-09-03
THE PEACE UNION.

l
| "Vos We all asssemblaged t'gedder
NIT ourselves, already?" asked Hans,
the Dutchman.
II dank So" answered Sven, the
Swede, as he looked around and saw
the old, familiar faces of Terrence, the
Irishman. AIRY, the Englishman, and
Donald, the Scotchman.
Den" said Hans, ct makes der mo-
ton und I seconds der motion, dot We
make some discussings of der meeting
of der universal beace union at MYSTIC,
Ct, some days ago previously"
Il. dank 1 never heerd of DEM" said
Sven, volts peace unioner."
Il will definition id fer you already"
volunteered Hans, as the waiter
brought in the stems and placed one in
front of each delegate. After a soul
satisfying sip, Hans continued: HE
vos a fallar vot makes some scootings
fer der woods ven der regrooting Off
Ger cooms along ter make some enlisd-
mends for der var. In udder words, he
| vos man in a pink shirt waist und
gorseds vot carries a barasol ven der
sun makes some shiningS, so dot he
will not ged some frecklings init his
complexion"
Il noticed be the report in The Spy"
said Terrence, "thot one av the dilly-
gates, Gommel Bradford av Boston,
gave the dommynant war partly in the
administration a great rakin'."
Hi say, Terry old boy, you should
brush hup hon pronunciation. You
| mean Gamaliel Bradford, not Com
MEL" said AIRY.
"Oi name what OF said,' snapped Ter
renee, showing a bit of temper.
'Gommel is Oirish for lobster, and if
this Bradford amt a croostayshan, DILL
ate me shoes. These pace unionists are
lot av ownchuckes."
''Hoot, mon,' said Dorald what
might an ownchucke be2"
Yah, Terry, information us abowit id
NIT some explanationings," pleaded
Hans.
IAN ownchucke,''. said Terrence. lis
the Gaelic form for what is popularity,
colloqulally, and sintintiously known in
this country as lobster"
ITO hear this man Gommel Bradford
talk" continued Terrence, lone would
think thot the foit betwixt and between
Ooncle Som and Don, the dago, ought
not to have taken place Gommol be-
laves thot whin Don came over to the
flnce and shook his fist in the nose of
Ooncle Som, Som bought to have
sarched himself for money and given
Don the price av a couple av beers.
Thot Som got his Oirish dander up and
walloped Don instead, howiVer, gave
poor Gommel pain IN his corsets, and
OF hear thot he croied at the confer
ince.
This reminds me av the days whin
Oireland was free and me ancestors
were kings and quanes and policemen
Two Oirish kings came down to the
f1nce that divided the backwards Of their
RESPECTIVE bailiwieks.
Pay me tribute, said wan av
thin, 'or'-the other looked him square
in the apple av his eye-'Oi won't pay
We yer tribute, he said, and if. Wild
that they both laped the fince and
and Don, the dago did.
''Thot Som got the daycision froom
the referee was no more than rot, fer
the ouad bye licked the dago out av his
Shoes"
Il dank," said Hans, dot desc peace
unioners could nod need in Yermany
already. l dank like Wilhelm der dree
dimes, dot like der French, to much
dey don't amowint. Like Padrig Hen
ry, Wilhelm der dree dimes says,
'Beaee,. beace, dere is no beace.' Yen
fVilIhelms und der Yermans go owit on
der warbath dey Civ der French some
lickings dot make him eat off of der
mandle piece for long dime yet
Hive been to Germany" began
AIRY.
How did We get there? Cattle boat
or second cabin?" broke in Terrence,
with merry twinkle in his eye.
do you mean to hinsult lne?' said
AIRY, coloring slightly Hi went
hover in me DriVatp Yacht -
''Ye did in a goats whiskers," said
Terrence. More loikely We showed
yerself away "a
At this there was general laugh, in
which AIRY, who is the soul of good
nature, eventually joined. He knew
that he would be no match for Ter
renee in repartee.
up the thread of his narrative, Hi met
the kaiser on the street. Hi went hup
to i'm hand slapped i'm hon the back
'Ow har you, hold boy, hi said. Hi
ham hacquainted with your royal
cousin, the Prince hof Whales. Can
| the imperial stomach stand a bottle
of Bass this hafternoon? And would
you believe me, the kaiser smiled
| sweetly, and taking me harm, said:
Sure AIRY, let's go to Guggenheimer
McManus' place on Under den Linden
Hif you ave price henough, hi think
| lille take cheese sandwich, too Hi
asked i'm hif e didn't want 'aircut
hand champoo thrown in, but e didn't
see the point. The hold boy got a
| bloomin' merry old jag hon, hand the
hempress hungratefully called me down
when hi carried i'm ONE"
II dank We are making some digres-
slonings from der main soobject, amt
id?" ventured Hans. "Vot has all dis
ter do NIT der beace unioners dot con-
Mentioned in MYSTIC. Led's nod have
some misunderstanding tergedder." r
Il dank, drawled Sven, dot
peace unioner is fallar vot turns round
and say to everybody vot come along
und steps on his toe. please give me a
swift kick in der Stats"
"fe hit the nail on the COCO thot
thrip," said Terrence "Thot's list
what peace unionist is. There's none
av me own race amongst thin. There's
foit in livery corpuscle av the blood
av an Oirishmon."
"Hoot mon" said Donald, .I dinna
ken, but the Skutch are relations O. the
irish. There're the same breed O. cats.
suppose Bruce took the advice o. the
peace party in 1874? There wad have
bin no Bannockburn and Southland wad
pc a part o the county O. Yorkshire
The peace union ought to hold it's con-
ventions at the lunatic asylum at the
loch."
dank you right, Donald. Dere as
crazy as some looms nit gromatic
scales In dere heads" said Hans.
"Divil the truer worrud We liver
sphoke," said Terrence "They are as
clane nutty as the whales av a farm
wagin. 'Tis a minnance to the country
to allow thin at large
Il motion den dot We make some pc
tltionings ter PRESIDENT Mckinley dot
dey me compulsioned ter make some
darged bracdise und den be conscrip-
TONED into der army and made to do
some fightings NIT der Villabeans."
Hans motion was carried and AIRY
was commissioned to draft the petition.
Just then there was lively discus