davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Opelousas courier., 1899-03-04
HIS MEAN WAY OUT OF 1T.
Declared 1t Wa Not a Joke at All, Blu
a sTnrt

Declared It Vas Not a Joke at AL. Blu
Fact.
"Oh," said the two months bride
to the girl friend who had called,
"Charlie did the meanest thing last
night. | wouldn't have believed it of
him"
"Do tell me what it was" asked
the girl friend.
"Well, you know we were having
some parlor amusements, OF thinking,
about having some, when it happened.
It was just after dinner. Charlie had
been reading some supposedly funny
paragraphs in the evening paper.
They were SO poor they actually made
me faint. Finally [ told him that I
could do better than that myself"
"What, at making jokes?' inter-
rupted the girl friend.
"HNhy, yes, of course"
"Well, what happened?"
"Why, of course, he a. sure I
couldn't"
Gust like a man."
"But he was mistaken"
"Do tell me all about it,"
"Well, he wagered me q three
pound box of candy and all the soda
water I could drink that / couldn't
make a joke"
"And you did it right away?"
eyes, it didn't take me five minu-
tes."
"What was the joke?'
"Well you know we had that lovely
blue china set that lie bought me last
week on the table and"
cit is lovely"
"And [ just took my inspiration
from that. You know the teapot has
a shepherd in blue upon it?'
eyes"
"Well, my Joke was the supposed
CONVEX sation between two fashionable
girls o. the milk pitcher of the choco-
late brown set that m gave us.
It ram: "Why don't you associate
with that gentleman over there?' aud
the reply was: He's not in our set
Well, [ had the teapot in my hand
when I made the Joke, and just as I
told it I let the teapot fall. Now
comes the mean part. Charlie used
such a mean subterfuge. He repeated
the joke, then looked at the pieces of
the teapot on the floor, and then, as I
demanded the fulfllment ofmy wager,
said: That's no joke; that's a fact"
Chicago Times-Herald.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-03-04

A committee appointed by the Eng.
lish Government to consider the mat.
ter Of establishing q national physi.
cal laboratory has reported, making
recommendations as to the scope Of
the proposed work. There seems to
be now a very good likelihood that
the laboratory will be established and
that it will, when in operation, be
directed by q governing council ap.
pointed by the Royal Society. 1t is
thought, further. that it will be
located near Kew, where much valu.
able work has already been done in
the way Of standardizing their mo-
meters, ~barometers, watches, nautical
instruments, etc. The new labora-
tory viii take up the line of physical
work which would naturally come be-
'"ra such q bureau.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-03-04

since and SO the worlds wear and
tear came and went, and he felt but
little Of it.
And his ideas? They were laid away
very safely and secretly-the steps he
would have climbed with so much
vigor and perseverance were moss
grown now and gray with moulding
age. There was not much to work for
now-so much had come to him, he
supposed by his own endeavors as
well as by good luck-and he had no
child to leave it to! And his wife?
How tenderly she had caressed him
at the Ene Of the sacritice-how
gently her pretty fingers had
smoothel the way. She was so much
accustomed to it all now, and he had
''lived it down." as she once said
playfully to him. She was~<Nays
sweet, and always beautiful, and e2I
one said lie was the luckiest man II;
London! Perhaps it was true.
He got up and s%auntered back to
the drawing rcom-hiS lovely wife
was c~ha''of1na WIN yoofss.oa1f'S'o'
M husband would have been just
like YOU today" he heard her say, in
that exquisite voice of ehers, eff he
had not taken my advice. He took it,
and you see the result"
The younger man looked around.
He saw the beautifulfooms, the bril-.
liant crowd, the flashing CT the count
less gems, the peerless beauty of the
woman who spoke, he heard the music
rising and falling in the distance, and
breathel the delicate scents Of rerest
blossoms.
Again he saw the word "success"
written everywhere-success that he
a beginner, a novice, couldinever hope
to emulate. Suddenly the worn face
OF the master met his eyes. 81 see
the result" he said quietly. london
Lady.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-03-04

The United States Consul at Copen-
hagen says that Denmark offers good
market for American machinery and
tools. Until now Germans have con-
trolled the market. Their prices are
. trife lower, but the American goods
are acknowledged to be superior. The
demand is for engine-lathes. drilling
and boring machines, milling, planning
and shaping machines, slotting ma.
chimes, boring and turning mills, ma
chine for making screws, grinding and
polishing machines. and American
tools of all kinds,
The Opelousas courier., 1899-03-04

General Roy Stone makes an inter.
esting suggestion of an alternative to
to the construction Of expensive wagon
roads in Porto Rico. He would I'VE
the island with an ubiquitous net. Of
electric wires. The world has gener.
ally considered the wagon road as the
preliminary stage in the civilization Of
any country, but General Stone pro.
poses to skip the preliminary stage
and establish at once in Porto Dico
the transit facilities which we have
only reached here by slow steps, and
which ever then we rarely utilize to
their full value.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-03-04

In the loss of the Maria Teresa we
can solace our disappointment in the
way Jeremy Taylor recommends, by
searching out the minor subsidiary
advantages that came with it. He H.
Illustrated it in his '.Holy Living and
Dying with the tale Of the man who
threw a stone at a dog and hit his
cruel stepmother, and remarked that
although it missed its aim 1t was not
entirely lost. So we can comfort our.
selves with the thought that Spain
will not now be Inundated by seeing
the captured vessel added to our navy,
and we shall not have to decide the
question whether We shall change it's
name out of curtesy to a beaten foe or
out Of consistency to our system OF
naval nomenclature.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-03-04
Laws on Eating.

Philippe de Bel of France in 1894
prohibited any subject from p~artaking
of more than one dish and one entire
me- for an ordinary repast. On a
gala occasion two dishes with bacon
and soup were allowed. Charles I pro-
hibited the serving of flesh and fish
at the same meal, and only at bridal
banquets were three courses permit
ted. Louis XIII went even further.
Ii an individual dined at Il tavern he
was not to expend more than so cents:
and if at home his service was not to
exceed three dishes
The Opelousas courier., 1899-03-04

The English in their recent railway
construction, appears to be approx.
mating in weight and somewhat in
type the American locomotive. A six.
ty.ive ton engine lately designed for
the heavy express service between
London and the North, on the Great
Northern Railway, presents an ap-
pearance somewhat similar to q mod
ern Baldwin locomotive. America and
England can certainly learn some
points in engineering one from the
other.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-03-04

The sales OF looking glasses in tho
United States amount to about S.
DOC, 900 a year. The industry gives
employment to more than 1000 per-
sons. It is evident that this last
figure, although of course, we are not
a vain people, does not include all whc
use the looking glasses produced.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-03-04

Agricultural cultivation in the Phil
ippines is of a primitive kind, and the
Spanish Government school of agri-
culture at Manila has had few results.
Reports of our officials there point
out the necessity of a new school and
the Introduction of new methods which
would enormously increase the prod
uct OF the rich farm lands, which are
far more extensive than was antici-
pataa
The Opelousas courier., 1899-03-04

It is truly wonderful that London's
vast population Of 1921, 667. located
on only 693 square miles, should have
In 1897 SO low death rate as 17.7 per
one thousand. This rate is not
greater than that of a fairly healthy
rural district. England we'll deserves
the name she has received as the
birthplace and home Of sanitary
science and practice, thinks the Lon
don Lancet.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-03-04
THE CLIFFS OF SANTIAGO.

The Cliffs Of Santiago,
They front the quiet sea;
Their high. green forests waver
To a wind OF memory,
All for the Spanish sailors
Gone down beneath the sea.
The Cliffs of Santiago,
How they echoed back the roar
When the fierce, gray warships battled
Till the running fight was Ger,
And the banked smoke hung to leeward
OF bitter miles of shore!
The Cliffs OF Santiago,
Are fallen silent nows
There are ruined vessels grounded,
Flame-blastcd, stern and bow
There's a many lads are lying
With death On cheek and brow.
There's many a wife and mother
II the sunny rand Of Spain
For to watch, and wait, and listen
But their waiting's all In vain,
And they'll watch a weary vigil
Ere their lads como home again!
The Cliffs of Santiago,
They dream above the sea;
They guard a reckless valor
And a grief that aye shall be.
y the Cliffs of Santiago,
And the calling of the sea!
A. B. De Mile in The Criterion.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-03-04
Shakespeare's Birthplace.

The mere announcement that Shake
spea els birthplace is in danger ought
to provide a prompt remedy. 1t is,
happily, not the building itself that is
threatened, though the practice of
burning open coal fires at Anne Hath
ways cottage is said to be fraught
with peril. From the current issue
of Literature we CLEAN that the pres
ent complaint relates to the walls
and ceilings of Shakespeare's cottage,
which, wen in Washington Irving's
day, were covered with names and
inscriptions in every language by pill
grims OF all nations, ranks and condi-
tons, from the prince to the peas
ant" Now the heat from the hot wa
ter pipes is causing the plaster to
peel off; the names of Tennyson and
Dickens have already disappeared,
and it is suggested that the remaining
autographs should be encased in glass
to save them from the same fate. We
grumble at the vandalism of the peo-
pie who insist on scribbling their
names on every famous wall and mon
ument. And then we grumble when
the names begin to peel off because
some Of the vandals happen to be ia
mou themselves. -Boston Record.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-03-04

A decision of the Tennessee Su-
preme Court upholds the Anti Cigar
cite law of that State f%orbidding the
sale or importation of cigarettes, on
the ground that cigarettes are not
legitimate articles of commerce
and are not within the proyis-
ions of the Federal Constitution re-
garding interstate commerce.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-03-04

The raising of sunken warships
amounts othe introduction OF o new
Industry, of which Spain sowed the
iced with a full hand, and reaps the
harvest with an empty one.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-03-04
He Was Right.


A certain local reporter conceived a
brilliant idea. He took it to Super
intendent Kingsley.
"Mr. Kingsley" he said, with an
insinuating smile, "wouldn't it be q
clever scheme to have a wedding take
place in the new tunnel?"
The superintendent looked a little
startled.
"Can you supply all the neces-
saries?" he inquired.
The reporter felt pretty sure he
could.
Glowing couple, best man, flowers,
cake. ring and all tn. rest of it?"
"I'il have them on hand when
wanted" said the scribe.
The superintendent looked thought
full.
NO" he said slowly; sit will not
do"
"And why not?" demanded the re-
porter?
"Beca1se?' replied the superin-
tendent, slowly, ''because it would be
criminal carelessness ON our part to
admit persons to the tunnel who are
suffering from any form Of heart
trouble. "-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-03-04
OPELOUsAs, LOUISIANA

It is wisely resolved to determine
the tracks of the ocean steamships.
We don't want any more B%ourgogns
disasters and such like any more.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-03-04

The value of q newspaper as an
advertising meiium consists in
its circulation.
When you can secure the COM
bined circulation Of two papers
for the price Of one, it is money
saved!
"The St. Landry Democrat"
was consolidated on the Sd of
March, 1894, with The Opelou-
sas Courier" The advertising
rates have not been increased
while the price Of subscription
has been reduced to 50 q year.
THE COURIER being by odds
the best paper in the empire Par.
lsh Of St. Landry is therefore tbs
.sheanast.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-03-04
MONEY TO LOAN.

of Holy Cross.
Offers to young ladies every facilt!
for acquiring a thorough christian Cd
ucation. Constant attention is paid to
home and social culture. Lessons ore
given in music, painting and other
useful arts. The sisters also have
charge of the boys school. The courss
o. instruction is two-fold-preparatorJ
aid Commercial. French is taught ID
the two courses. For particulars, 3D.
dress SISTER SUPERIOR
The Opelousas courier., 1899-03-04
Every Man His Own Doctor.
By j. HAMILTON AYERS, NJ. D..

A 600-page Illustrated Book con.
tanning q storehouse Of information
pertaining to diseases of the human
system, their treatment and cure with
simplest remedies, together with an
analysis at courtship and marriage,
rearing and management of children.
Also valuable prescrii tons, recipes,
etc. Mailed postpaid to any address
on receipt of price, SIXTY CENTS.
Address
Atlanta Publishing House,
1l6 Lloyd ST., ATLANTA, GA,
Kansas City journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1897-1928, 1899-02-27
DAMAGE TO FRUIT TREES.
Secretary Goodman Tells of the Ell.
fects of Cold Weather-Peach
CrOp DESTROYED.

COLUMBIA, MO-, Feb. 25.-Secretary L.
A. Goodman. Of the State Horticultural
Society. gave out to-day this official state
nent OF the fruit prospects in Missouri:
Reports have been received from all
parts Of the state about the injury caused
to fruits and fruit trees by the late cold
weather. The reports of lowest tempera-
ture vary from q degrees to 36 degrees
below zero. Such weather has injured not
only the fruit, but also the trees and in
some localities probably killed the peach
trees to the snow line. The apple crop
Is safe and only some of the most tender
varieties are injured.
THE pear buds are badly injured and
In some localities entirely killed. This crop
will be very light. The trees also are
badly injured in many places: The peach
In very few instances have live buds
been reported and even then only very
few. Many have reported their trees
and some that the trees had bursted so
that the bark was loose entirely around
the tree. The plum buds are also injured.
Especially is this true of the japanese va
rietfes: few Of the American varieties
and some of the European varieties are
Morello varieties are safe. Some of the
Duke varieties are slightly injured and
also the Heart varieties. but the Early
Richmond is our standby and we will
probably have a good crop of them. All
hardy varieties of the grape are safe for
a crop. The strawberry where well mulch
ed is all right. The raspberry is generally
badly injured and the crop will be short
Hardy varieties of the blackberry are all
sound and the crop promises well.
THE injury has been SO severe that the
question now comes, what to do with our
trees. There never was better time to
make general cleaning up in all our or
chards and small fruit paintings. The
peach should be cut back very severely.
If old trees, then cut down to six or eight
feet high. If young. cut off the main
branches to about one or two feet from
the trunk. The same may be said of the
plum and pear trees that are badly in
jured. If the bark is bursted around the
body of the tree, then better cut the tree
off close to the ground. The injury can
be easily seen by the discoloration of the
wood of all trees.
ANY of the small fruits very badly in
| jured had better be cut OF close to the
ground all trash burned up and the plan
tation will likely recover SO as to give a
good crop next year. While all this cut
ting seems severe treatment. yet we can
not expect our peach trees to ever be
good trees again unless so treated, The
good thrifty growth of next summer will
give a good crop the following year, and
the tees will recover wonderfully.
"If we can have a good crop of apples,
as now seems, good crop of Strawberries.
cherries and blackberries, and a partial
| crop of pears, plums. and raspberries, we
will not suffer for fruit and perhaps the
| fruit men may make a little money. They
ought to make some this year"
Kansas City journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1897-1928, 1899-02-27
TWENTY-THIRD WILL RETURN.
Their Way Home-Troops Leav-
ing COnRtantly.

SANTIAGO DE CUBA, Feb. 2s-The
United States transport Minnewaska will
leave on Tuesday, having on board the
Twenty-third Kansas volunteers. The Rou-
mania will probably leave on Thursday.
with the Eighth Illinois regiment. These
troops, like the Ninth immunes, have Of
late hal no special duty to perform. The
Third immunes. now at Guantanamo. are
under orders to be mustered out and will
withdraw about March Is. leaving only
three white volunteer regiments and one
the province. At least one more regiment
is needed by the department. preferably
cavalry as during the rainy season 1t is
difficult to move Infantry
1t was recently reported to General Leon
ard Wood on reliable authority, that a
prominent Cuban. holding high position
in this province under the military gov
ernment, had openly stated that If the
Americans did not get OUT by July. Cuba
would declare war. Needless to say. the
military governor attaches no Importance
to talk of this character.
Very little in the way of public improve
ments is now going on in this department.
General Wood Is able to keep only what
has already been done. He has no power
in the handling of funds, except so far as
the monthly allowance is concerned and
this prevents fresh contracts and the CIV
ing of work to thousands OF Cubans who
want 1t.
Santiago province gave Havana last
ment government, civil and military. COM
plain that they are badly hampered by
orders from Havana. In any event. i'm
proyements have practically ceased.
Kansas City journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1897-1928, 1899-02-27
new YORK INSURANCE REPORT.
superfntendent Payn Makes Tables
for Legislative Reference-New
York Life in the Lead.

ALBANY, Feb. 26.-The insurance re-
ports filed with Insurance Superintendent
Payn are being tabulated for reference for
the legislature The year 1898, for the fire
and marine companies, shows an Improve
ment over 1897. The total premium re-
ceipts were SIPS, ,452, 22S.40. Paid for losses,
81, 5,15Ss6113; paid for taxes, $s,sl6, 444,'6
total disbursements, s1s2, $685.. The If life
companies statements show that there mas
been large increase over 1897. The New
York Life leads in new business ti @ paid sin Tor
ing $i52. .09S, ,369. and new premiums OF S6ooi.-
49S The Mutual Life reports 81, lS5 policies
insuring s12S, ,7SO0SS, and new premiums go
1868; the Equitable Life, 1900 policies
insuring sl21 ,267 SIG, and new premiums OF
81. AS, Ca. The war stamp tax to the gov
ernment on the new business Of M these eso three s
New York Life has filed with Superintend-
ent Payn q new form OF policy which IS
testable from date Of ISSUE It Is based on on
and the department experts state that it
is the most liberal policy contract ever Is
sued by any company. 1t Is expected to
create an upheaval In insurance methods.
Kansas City journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1897-1928, 1899-02-27
WORKED A sHREWD GAME.
chants on a Land Scheme-Claim-
ed tn BE Administrator.

MONTGOMERY CITY. MO-. Feb. 2s.-
Especially Several business men Of this
city have been victimiZed recently by a
smooth man representing himself to be
Charles v. Atherton. of Ellsworth, Kas.,
son of Hon. o. L. Atherton. state treas
urer Of Kansas" The bait used by "Ather-
sweet morsel of land, law. a dead Dutch
man, an absent cousin, a farmers beard,
soft veivety hands and q slick tongue.
Late in the afternoon of February II a
stranger stepped into, A. Fergusons gro
in this city sad SaGe Y
stranger said he had just come in from
and that he was greatly disappointed in
not finding his cousin, as he wanted him
to give a power of attorney" to file on
5000. This caught Ferguson, and he said
he would like to give the power of at
torney." and get the land and the ss'oo'
The stranger explained that he had been
to Chicago with some cattle att ,Inl, and had ad
stopped at Guney Ill and asir secgred tbsne the
(this he showed Ferguson, the document
was signed up and acknowledged before a
notaryl and he wanted another @ power @ OF
tract Stranger claimed to be the admin
istrator of the estate of two Germans who
had entered the land and who had recent
ly died before securing a deed from the
government so they could hold the land
thirteen years and not have to pay taxes
on ii and when the thirteen years were
up, they expected to take out their deed.
| but they had died and, he as administrator.
| could not file on the land.
Ferguson gave him $3.50 filing fee'' and
the stranger left. 1t now develops that he
visited several other business men. from
| each of whom he obtained filing fees,
| and he is now missing.
Hon o. L. Atherton. banker at Russell,
Kas., has written Mr.. Furgeson that the
| him arrested as he had been working this
game in other states.
Kansas City journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1897-1928, 1899-02-27
WATCHING THE MoNARcHIsTs.
Speech of Duo d'Orleans, French Pre-
tender, Arouses Paris Authorities
Tn ElracanfIana.

Speech of Duo d'Orleans, French Pre-
tender, Arouses Paris Authorities
to Renewed Precautions.
PARIS, Feb. 25.-In consequence of the
placarding throughout the city of speeches
of the Due d'Orleans, the Orleanist pre-
tender, recently delivered at San Reno.
and the seizure of scarf pins and medals
bearing the pretender's portrait, the pre-
feet of police was ordered by the govern
recent proceedings of the monarchist party.
Last evening the project communicated
the result Of his inquiries to NJ. Dupuy,
with the result that the minister decided
upon vigorous action.
At midnight NJ. Cochefort, chief Of the
secret police. was summoned to the pre-
lecture and directed to prepare seventeen
confidential letters and seventeen warrants,
which We're handed to seventeen police
commssaries, authorizing search of the
residences of suspects. particularly. M.
Guerin. manager Of the newspaper Anti
Juifuji; Messrs. Devaux Buffet. Robert
DeChavilly. Thiebaud DeMonicourt, secre-
tary to the Due d'Orleans; Dubuc, presi-
dent Of the Young Anti-Semitists. and
Comte Sabran Ponteves.
The confidential letters indicated that the
warrants aimed to discover the existence
of any political action on the part of the
anti-Semite leaders in their relations with
the royalist and Bonapartist committees or
with other leagues,
No incident occurred in the case Of the
domiciliary visits. This morning NJ. Buffet,
| who represents the Due dOrleans. vigor-
oUsly protested against the violation of his
domicile and declared that the royalist
party would always conspire. even if
umeats were seized at NJ. Buffet's resi-
dence,