davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The age-herald., 1899-10-22

really lived along the route. But the money
 might as we'll have been burned up as far
 as it went to the companys profit. No
 sort of fraud was detected. Everything
 tallied beautifully.
 At length one of the detectives applied to
 the companys office and was hired as a
 conductor He was very chummy with the
 boys, drank considerable and got well ac-
 quainted. This month the returns were
 worse than overland the roads more
 crowded. The detective was in despair. One afternoon-hiS day off-he joined
 some friends at a party. There were six of the most suspicious characters among the conductors there The detective noticed that they whispered together and one Of them al length called him over. "You're pretty decent feller," said he, 'and we're going to let you in on little deal. We've got some car tickets that we found in the street; and we'll sell you all you want-if you don't want too many. You can have 100 for $2. That will give you a profit of three cents apiece when you come to selling them for five cents each You see lots of old people on our line always buy tickets instead of paying daily so you can easily sell. And here's way to make a little yourself" "Where did you get the tickets?" asked the willing conductor. "Found 'em," said the leader, with wink of the eye. 'But you needn't LOOK for any cause you can't ind 'em if you do."
 At this the detective became very curi- ous But all to no avail. About a week later he got on to the secret of the finding of the tickets And it was by an accident. ''What do you do with all your old tickets?" he asked of the directors of the company.
 "We burn them," said they. "Let me be the fireman who puts them l in the fre,'' said the detective l Next day the old tickets were brought to l him in a great bag by the usual messenger "a conductor off duty. As soon as the bag , had been thrown in the furnace, the con- | ductor said:
 ''Now, you run ups tafrs, like a good rel | Ter and I'll watch the fire.' l Upstairs went the conductor. But only
The age-herald., 1899-10-22

"The man jumped up as quick as flash and stanted for the drivers end of the car and I after him. People thought he wanted to get and someone called to the driver to stop The car came to a standstill just as we both got on the platform.
 "'Give me back that woman's pocket book and everything else you took out Of her pocket, or I'll call policeman,' said l:
 For answer the man dropped small knit purse heavy with bills and silver, long silver smelling bottle, fine handker- chief and small box that looked like a jewellers box. Then quick as a flash, he Jumped off the platform and was gone How he ever managed to get all those things in his hand don't know. They ap-
The age-herald., 1899-10-22
Inhuman Nature

From the Chicago News.
 Mrs. Neighbors-I was very sorry, indeed, to lhear of your sad loss, MT. Hayrix. You have my deepest sympathy.
 MT. Hayrix-Wall, l calkerlate 1t war purty sadMke had ten uv the finest hogs in this yer null teownship, an eight uv 'ems deader'n door nail.
 Mrs. Neighbors (horrified)-But was re- ferring to the loss of your wife.
 MT. Hayrix-Yaas, misfortun's never dew pear to com singerly. An I could a sold them thar hogs for $20 a head, tew.
The age-herald., 1899-10-22

himself beside his lady he carelessly put his arm around her.
 Get out of this car,' said the conduc- tor, who stood near, and supposed the act to be one of unpleasant familiarity Get off right away, or I'll have you arrested by the next policeman we pass.
 The man and the woman got out of the car immediately-and then the conductor saw his mistake.
 There is an old humorist in New York city who rides back and forth many times a day on the principal avenues of the cdty slool<ing for something to laugh at," he says. And that he succeeds no one with an eye for things peculiar and humorous can easily doubt.
The age-herald., 1899-10-22

poor riding facilities and yet they never seemed to pay enough into the treasury of the company for the dividend which stockholders have come to expect in return for the loan of their money. 1t was very singular.
 The company finally put spotters on tle line. 13ut the spotters could find out noth- ing Then there were regular detectives aboard; and to throw the conductors or their guard the spotters were told to hre quarters along the line 90 that the conouc- tors could see that his regular passengers
The age-herald., 1899-10-22

peared to be wrapped in the handkerchief. He must have been clever with his hands.
 And what did the old lady say? Why, what do you suppose? When I gave her back her things she accused me of taking them and gave me a fine dressing down. l think some of the passengers thought took them, too. Though l told all about the thief. But that's what you get for helping people-especially women"
 INSULTED BY AN ADVERTISEMENT.
 Country people are not the meek, quite individuals that they are supposed to be
The age-herald., 1899-10-22
Celtic Wisdom
From the Chicago

From the Chicago News.
 Pat-Faith an it's loik old toims 1t do be to see you again. Why didn't yez niver wroit me a loin since Oi last met yez?
 Mike-Sure, an Oi would, but Oi wasn't after knowin yez addriss at all.
 Pat-Thin why in tn name O sinse didn't veg tillyphon me an Oid hev sint 1t to yez!
The age-herald., 1899-10-22
Horrors of Suburban Travel

From the Chicago Tribune.
 Man with Infiamed Eye-Yes, got some thing in it when was coming home yester- day, Kept me awake all last night-blame it!
 The Other Man-Don't do that. Blame the railroad company. Your eye is more cinder 'gainst than shining.
The age-herald., 1899-10-22
Opening for a Linquist

From the New York Weekly.
 Cultivated Stranger-You advertise for man who can speak twenty-sx languages?
 MT. Gotham-Yes, sir. The position is still open.
 May I ask concerning the matter of its dutles?"
 Certainly. I own considerable property in New York, and I want a man to collect the rents"
The age-herald., 1899-10-22
Cause to Remember

From the London Tit-Bits.
 q remember as we'll as if it only happen ed yesterday that in my younger days l once walked twenty miles at a stretch for the purpose of thrashing hated rival"
 And did you return on foot?'
 ''No; they brought me back in an ambu- lance."
The age-herald., 1899-10-22
Unnatural Pose

From the Detroit Free Press.
 "How do you like my new photographs, Dollie?'
 Well, Dick, there Is something horribly
The age-herald., 1899-10-22
Must Have Been Born Lucky

From the Chicago Times-Herald.
 How did you make out with that effort to break your uncle's will?'
 "F'ine. After it was all settled up and the lawyers had the estate I didn't owe them cent
The age-herald., 1899-10-22

unnatural about them. It isn't the mouth
 it can't be the eyes-oh, I see! You haven't got your feet up on anything"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-05-26

which A. s. Capehart Is the director.
The great telescope, which will figure at
the exposition, viii surpass the most
powerful instrument of this kind ever be-
FORE constructed. 1t is to be the longest
me ever made and to construct build
ng high enough for 1t would be very
great expense, so 1t has been planned by
NJ. Gautier, a Frenchman Of much dis
.inction in this line, to have large mir
ror (siX and one-half feet in dameter)
effect the rays thrown upon ID, 80 that
he instrument can be used In a horizon
al position.
President Mckinley tt Is expected. viii
soon announce the names Of the twelve
honorary United States commissioners to
he exposition. The three officials APP
pointed by the President are Commission
'r-General Ferdinand W. Peck. Assistant
OmmissiOner-General Il. ID. Woodward
ma Major Fred Bracket. secretary. The
welVe assistant commissioners provided
BY the act making appropriation for the
'xhibit viii be chosen from various parts
IF the country. 1t is understood that
eight or nine Of them have already been
selected, but the announcement of the en-
ire twelve Is expected to be made short
N. They Will serve during the calendar
.car 1900
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-05-26

cheeks. which is promptly rubbed
down and blended with the myers
Then several little dabs are given on
the lower part of the cheek
on the jawbone that must De
rubbed up and under. Never color
inc little SPOT Immediately in front OF the
ear or the center of the cheek, for nature
never does. The next step is TO 1N tne
lips, and the color for them IS aiWdE
different from that used on the cneehs
ana is always a liquid. Thls should pt
nut on very ,HTrfully and 50 as To appear
darker on ,n. ruer edge Now comes
the powder. which should be put on tne
forehead and rubbed off untll tntre -
none to be seen Then the slightest sus,
picion is rubbed on the nose ana arounu
the mouth and promptly rubbed Oh, as
the object is only to take on the shlhe,
after this YOU go to the broWS an
cvplashes and whatever else you 40
don't use a pencil for the daytime. you
can buy a box with cunning niue I'LL
rur in the top ana a cunning niue prov
hrush and a bar of what appears to be
Indil ink in the bottom. Thdt IS me one
ana only thing used by the frtHGh W.
man. The brush is moisiGhtu, ruppru 90
the India-ink- looking stun, ana thcn NJ
nIrd to the brow ana lash"s nut y must
bc put on the hair and not on the SKIN,
THAT is the way the french woman
gets herself up for htr ap' II n,,,a,r nnd+r
the day or when she IS Ia appear ul .n
| the electric light. And she StnerailN IS
| clever enough to wear nat when shades
her face just a bit at least. OF course
men can only surmise' they can never say
| nnsitiyelv that she paints She Keeps
| ihrm guessing. ana they like that
"Eut how about the makeup for even
! Ing wcar?' asked her two friends AZ she
| stopped speaking ANA applied herself to
! ,b. fbir1 course of her luncheon.
..Oh well, almost any Of these women
W ~. about Us would pass muster N gas
or candle light. That is one reason they
| l,ok u much like caricatures. They made
III III a dark room with the lights turned
on, and they are really now. all of them,
looking at the makeup Of every other
woman with disgust ana congra tulating
themselves on knowing just how the
thing is properly done Almost any rougt
or powder Will 40 for gas or candle lignt,
but il is best 10 apply II after the day
light fashion. only making il more in
tense BUT when II comes to electric
lights there must be- no careless work.
N Won do il is a deAl give aMaN.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-05-26
MADAME" AN ESSENTIAL WORD
A French Title Whose Use Seems IN
avoidable.


(Boston Transcript
Not a little talk has been made OF
late about the titles gwen 10 foreign
artists on programmes and IN heWsla-
pers. Why. il has been asked shou'd
Germans be styled Herr, FRAU, OF
"Fraulein;" Italians. "Signor' sig
norma" French. Monsieur, Mad
anne" or "Mademoiselle, ~ an ENG
disappearing country? And, If So
why not go on to Pan" "Gospordin,
and "Efendi?" Are not our own MIR. y
Mrs" and Miss" better and more
dignified? To all Of which we answer
that we can see no earthly reason for
not using our current English titles
for all foreigners. 50 soon as they come
TO this country. To our ears, the "id
"Sienor" ana Herr" ana "Mademoi-
sellc' sounds singularlp and often
sively provincial. English ought not
only to be good enough for US, but bet
ter than anything else.
There is. however, one hitch in the
matter. and this is our Mrs" The
term, as currently used at the present
day in England and this country, is Il
perfect corrclativc % the German
Frau" and of the Italian "Signora. ="
But it fortunately does not correspond
AS exactly to the French Madame"
Mess We are greatly mistaken, our
present style Mrs. pronounced
'lnissiZ'D is correctly applied solely To
married women, and only in conjunc-
ton with the husbands name. This
was not true of the older English
Mistress, which was applied to amy
grown woman of TcSDaCtahilitV mar
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-05-26
IN THE INVALID.s ROOM.
4 Trained Nurse Gives Hints That
VIII ~ Useful w Housewives.

/ 4 Trained Nurse Gives Hints That
VIII ~ Useful to Housewives.
| u is comparatively easy ID nurse in a
hospital. where every appliance FOR the
relief ri sufferers lis al hand. and where
En expense has been spared either III
tEc quantity or the quality Of invalid
requisites. says a writer in McAIIs
Magazine When We nurse in our
homes ia is often necessary 70 contrive
ana plan. ana even ID invent.
An inverted chair makes a capital
support for pillows in cases where the
patient. from whatever cause. wishes
to sit bolt upright. ana has but little
physical strength tD keep himself in
tha desired position IF course. tine
chair must he well covered n.y. pillows.
~ ii would prove but a hard and IN
yielding support for d weak back
Children are frequently unable 70
bear Very ho- puultiCes, ana id is but
needless cruelty To apply boiling lin
seed ~ a chld's tender skin.
The nurses hand toften hard ana
rough by reason IF much work. is not
4 safe criterion uf what a child can
hear. the check or back ~ the arm Is
A better guide. ana when the poutice
IA ac tho proper temperature. the child
will bear il better if the surface is
smelrel over with cold olive Oil.
Any handy man can contrivc what is
called a cradle" To support the
weight ~ the bedclothes over a broken
limb TWO straight pieces Of wood and
TWO VII three wooden hoops from a flour
barrel viii suffice for this purpose.
Never leave medicines within the
reach OF children, and as an invariabe
rule keep poisons under lock ana KEY.
Here are some invaluable rules for
surgical nursing.
I. Wash your hands thoroughly with
carholir soap both before ana after
dressing a wound
>. Never touch a dirty dressing with
your hands Keep all dressings in an
alright box.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-05-26
THE FRENCH WoMAN's MAKEUP.
Art of Applying Rouge So That Its
Use VIII Not Proclaim Itself.
(NeW York Sun l


IF women will insist on making Up.
why don't they take the pains to do
it artistically?" demanded the woman
just back from Paris. Really the
most noticeable feature about the wo-
men one sees in New York. after a trim
abroad, is tn" careless way they daub
their faces with paint and powder.
Now the Partisan woman learns the
art. and applies it as SUCH
DO tell US about it," said one OF her
friends.
IN the first place" replied the trav-
eller. a "A woman who knows how the
thlng Is done gets the proper colors.
she never buys for day use q paint
with a purple tinge If she is a bru-
h'lte she gets powder ana rouge for
hrunettes. while if she is a blonde she
huyS blonde materials. These come
hnlh for day and evening use. and. of
course. she must put them on in the
hEhl I'm which She is to appear. The
llSt thing she does after getting the
proper materials is to wash her face
win tiny bit of soap on the cloth
iheh rinse in clear water ana dry with
soft towel. If it is to be a dav an
pearance, let her go to the brightest
window IN the room. ana, with the Az
SlStanre OF her hand mirror. applv her
makeup. The rouge for day usa il \
hIuId and should be applied with a
XIII MI soit rag. All that is required is
" niue dab on the upper part Of the
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-05-26
"IGc spoke in part as follows"

llc spoke in part as follows
Our little town was thrown into a fer
ment Of excitement this morning by
The citizens are free to say that the
law will never take its course"
Deceased was a Mason of high de-
gree"
John Jones, the erstwhile senior mem
Der Of the cash grocers Jones Bros.
has"
Your correspondent has learned"
The expression is used advisedy"
Mr.. Gibson was highly respected
citizen ana known to almost every man.
woman ana child in the city"
ia general denial was entered"
Henry Smith was the first white child
born on the townsitc."
The Ryan college with an It's con
tents was burned today. There were
over 200 pupils in the building At the
time"
mo one was hurt. though Proprietor
Barker was slightly injured"
The captain was rescued in a pre-
carious condition"
Sometimes men write what they do not
mean. For instance, here ~ telegram
from New York: John Kropf, who made
a fortune and lost It laying stone side
walks, committed suicide last night" Mr..
Kropf made his fortune IN laying side
walks, but probably lost IT otherwise.
The posse5sive case Is sometimes writ
ten IN strange fashion. The following I'M
stance was detected IN q letter from a
country correspondent: The man whose
| wife died's house
The prefixing Of a mans occupation or
Office often produces queer results III
| print. for instance:
United States Deputy Marshal Smith. I"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-05-26
THE BOY KINGS SAD LOT.
Alfonso XIII Unpopular in Spain ana Tn
happy.

No one raises a hat or does reverence
- the boy who has succeeded to some
II the hOnOrs which were Philip Tvs.
Even if the casual cabman makes room
for the royal curtege he does ii with "a
Iud grace ANA with the air Ut " man whD
mas gone out Of his way 10 pay a c0mpli-
nent to mediocrity. And YET In This King
Of thirteen years there should w all the
dement's of romance. lie IS young, uu-
.Ortunatc and a monarch. IL his people
10 not love him surely he might STIR pity.
he inspires neither pity nor love. He
JdSscS unnoticcd-that is all.
Inc truth rs ne mas never touched the
spanish heart. ana unless ne bc endowed
with unexpected tact ana talent he is
never likely ID touch II. I'll. circum-
stances Of his life have fought against his
success. In the first place his appear
iucc arpusrs an instant dntpathy. lie
too blond. his hair is too light. his fore
mead is TOO high - correspond with the
national type. "IIe ~ no Spaniarl." says
Jnr citizen in contempt. me ls An Aus
riaH.' Another asks Indignantly: "Why
should w. hc ruled hy pale faced boy.
Who doesn't seem 10 carry tn his veins q
Iron Of true Spanish blond Again, h.-
Us placid. almost iucrt. Iu MS manner.
His hand ~ seldom raised iG u gr~Iur.. gt
excitement; ms ey" does NOS burn with
-f-t mus tLSrn.
Th- true Spanish bpy. satd y detrar.ur
once, is never stiii. - long as De- has II
,ld r1E lu nis hand hr ,lu play at bull
lighting Iu nv streets. or hr U.ru never
ue dul IL the sid" of a house and ten
lis ball suggest Il game ul uhl I1 h.-
active mind. al HHy TItr h- Wltt always
oD running about pr drt lslug % new spur-.
Ihr tIWc Will come soon enough when h-
~AHll h.dr himself ln thr shade "r Eps-
sip idly at the street corner. bus th-
young king Dr. never taken III his guard.
lir seems pVrrW.iEhtyl with th. duties
" the future. he is familiar enough -
,he Inhabitants nj Madrid yr. nobody
ever saw him run about JT laugh th- Gav
empty laugh ~ childhood.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-05-26
THE SECRET OF TRUE HAPPINESS.
An Acceptance of the Talent and the
Task God Has Appointed.

Happiness comes through quiet accept
ance of the talent, temperament and task
that God hath appointed. nable To add
one cubit to the stature. or make one hair
white or black. man is also impotent to
alter his b.rthgifts. Through heredity
our fathers chose the life-wOrk for US
and try as We may we cannot alter their
choice. though we can break our hearts
Today one part Of society is making it.
self miserable through an overeStimaIe Of
great deeds ana an agOniZing desire to 40
striking things. Yet struggling and agon-
lZing never did anything worth while.
Inc first sign Of great piece of work ~
the ease ana SWiftnesS with which it was
done by him appointed for the task. An
other part of society destroys happiness
by Understanding small deeds ana du
ties. God ; mountains are not made out
0f huge chunks Of granite. but out %
minute flakes Of mica. Size has nothing
to do with the valued work. and man
cannot he happy until he surrenders his
Will ana cheerfully accepts the one talent.
or two, or ten, counting it honor enough
tO DO his appointed work more perfectly
than any other can possibly 40 ID. We
do not need great and splendid things
hut that common things shall be lifted UP
ana Illuminated by quiet ana beautiful
spirit. one of the secrets of happiness IS
found in the habitual emphasis of pleas
ant things ana the persistent casting
aside Of all malign elements.-Ladies
Home journal.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-05-26

Things That one Kinds In Reports w
Country Correspondents.

-
The telegraph edftbrs ana -opy- readers
Of newspapers run across 4 great many
ftmarkabIt stiteme pts IN the COPY RE-
t'iNtu from country correspondents and
'Nf" ii"il th" PRESS associations ifll'
expressions hb'"ihr "a hdblt with CORES
pnulrhtSand II n unt Of me duties Of IN,
| copy reader to eliminate these when hc
runs across them 4 desk man" i'm "A
uewSpa1cr office tnJl< III. trouble w wv
down such of 1heS, as he came across
from dan to day. same Of them trr art-
ually weird. AZ foIIo KS:
He WAS ovcrcomf by smoke in the
upper story"
The man wgs d,t,Tv wounded II.
mav dia
..,I,b.. --,-,,,..-,.i -. ,.,.., r..,-.-..,.,..
I'M .IIaga1 ,,,,r.1+ ILL.,, ,,.ir ;,,;..t....
fatal wounds which H. ,,,,,,,t .,,,,.,.f,., !.
"Jerrel was blo,y ahout ,b;rt,. r,ot
Ill, i..,,,.... -.
smith v,s shot tu.io, ,,,. .,,,, ,r,o,-,,l
SLAYER ana h,u LII arir,, ,ha f,t...i,a.,
the other nanatratipb ~ ri.b, I'M ~,
coroner is investi4 ating. Bloodhounde
have been put on the trail
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-05-26
HUMOR IN SCIENCE.
Some Funny Things Happen in the
Smithsonian Institution.

Smithsonian Institution.
The brother scientists of one Of the
chief "birdologists" at the Smithsonian
Institution had some fun which that
good-natured gentleman-one of the
most eminent opponents Of the science
pertaining to feathered creatures in
The WOrld-not long ago. They caused
an item to work its way into circula-
dion and to be spread broadcast
throughout the country, to the effect
that the ordinary passenger pigeon of
h.rdology was. for some ineXplicable
reason or other. dying out 50 rapidly
/ that the Smithsonian Institution de-
sired a number of specimens Of the
same for stufng and mounting pur
/ poses. Now, passenger pigeons are not
I w numerous as English sparrOWs, Of
course. but. all the same, there are so
many of them cXtant that they stand
an excellent chance of enduring as a
\ .u.cies ms long as the human race in
I habits this globe. The bird. scientist
declines to state just how many boxes
Y wv messenger pigeons he has received
up TO date, together with please re-
ui-'' bills through the mails for the
( same but the passenger pigeons are
/ said 10 be still a-coming. They are
I sent back. express charges G. q. d.. in
each case. and hoWls come in a-plenty
tD the effect that some Of the birds
I have expired on the return trip, and
4 demanding payment for these dead
I ones.
The smithsonian Institution does not
( look LIT first Or even second glance like
an outfit wherein there is likely to be
any fun worth speaking Of, but the
corps Of really distinguished scientists
4 who work over there do, in fact, en-
\ i,y their daily quota Of humor right
/ along. Ii doesn't necessarily follow
4 tnat because a man is q scientist Win
n lot of queer initials after his name
] hr does not partake Of At least some "t
J thu distinctly human attributes of his
genius The truth is that they are an
Extraordinarily cheerful, unassuming
SET of gentlemen. ana they are un-
roqeingly puking fun at each others at
, taiuMcnts and ambitions. one has
only To see one particular member Of
| this scientific stalf-a man who is re-
nlwned throughout the world for the
! depth Of his learning ana his remark
able researches in his specialty-sit-
| ting back in his shirt sleeves in tip
tilted chair smoking a short ana
very disreputable briarwood pipe, 70
understand how thoroughly compatible
! science is with what might be called
( humanness
The scientists at the institution get
| good deal of fun out Of letters that
| come Jp them from all parts Of the
country. Not long since Il woman out
| FIN illinois wrote to the institution that
She had six toes ON each Of her feet.
ana that she would Ne glad To place
herself On exhibition in the institution
f,r q nrettv stiff figure. which she
F! .+i,,,I,t.l en- v,,s nnIit.Iy informed