The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1899-01-22
TIE FEELING OF FEAR.
Nonsense to Say of any Man that He
Never Felt 1t.
Washington Post.

w dSHlllSL OH rust.
Whenever / read in the biography of
this or that commander that he was ut
terly devoid of fear or that he did not
know the meaning of the word fear,
/ feel like sitting down and writing to the
biographer that he is in need of treat
ment for lOcOmotOr ataXia of the BRAIN,
said a naval officer to a party of service
men in club corner the other night No
soldier or sailor of common sense, fa-
nous or obscure, ever gave II out, l veri-
iy believe, that he a stranger to fear
under any and all circumstances; and
such tommy-rot in biographies can only
he attributed to the ignorance or the in
experience of biOgrapherS. For myself.
don't mind saying that I've been scared
stiff any number of times since I've been
cruising around the world, and sometimes
over trivial enough happenings too. For
instance, went ashore in Honolulu one
morning a few years ago, when my ship
was cOallng on some personal business
for the commanding officer When L re-
turned aboard at noon for luncheon, all
hands were at mess, except a loutish,
moon-faced landsman, a former farm hand,
from Iowa, who had been the butt of his
mates as an innocent of the rawest kind.
The landSman was leaning over the star
board rail, looking no more stupid or inert
than he generally did. A big coal lighter
filled WITH coal was moored to the starboard
side Of the ship. and in order to get aboard
the ship / had to climb from the steam cut
ter that brought me off from the shore onto
the lighter and then pull myself up on the
fixed iron ships ladder to the gangway.
There was a space of about two feet be-
tween the coal lighter and the ship. Into
this space missing my hold when I attempt
ed to clutch the wet, slippery ladder l fell,
feet foremost, with a splash. AS l after
ward found out the crew of the steam cut
ter heard the splash. but they did not know
what had caused it. Now it was about 100 to
against my saving my life through my own
efforts for | knew that when l came up my
head was due to bump against the bottom
OF the coal lighter, and 1t IS hard PROPOSE
ton even for a good swimmer as | happened
TO be- to keep his nerve under such circum-
stances.
Now, dye suppose that I didn't expert
whole nj Of wi / Was
kicking around there beneath that coal
lighter? Fear? Why, 1 was scared almost
senseless, and l lost my nerve completely. l
didn't have any glimpses of my whole life
and of my happy boyhOod days down the
farm. or anything like that. but / was just
frightened for keeps, and that was ell there
was about it. / surely would have been
goner had it not been for that loutish lands
man leaning over the starboard rail. He
didn't even stop to kick off his broganS be-
fore he let himself fall into the space be-
tween the lighter and the ship al the exact
point where | had tumbled. The crew of
the steam launch saw this move and Won
dered what it meant They didn't know
that l was bobbing around like "a sea otter
underneath the lighter. My head was bump
Ing against the bottom of the lighter, and
was Just about to abandon the whole idea
of living along any more when l felt myself
gripped around the waist and l thought
shark had got me. But it wasn't any
shark. II the moon-faced landsman,
tween the ship and the lighter in no time.
] was still frightened silly, and l clutched
him in a pretty wild kind of way.
4" Hey! Stop THAR he commanded me, in
a tone very unlike that of bluejacket to
his superior officer-bless the low-browed
ruf1iain's brave soul! But | didn't stop
that, but went right on paving and grab
bing at him, and the first thing / knew
didn't know anything. for that mOou-faced
landsman just hauled off with his loose fist
and punched me one with all his might on
the point of the jaw. ] can feel that slug
yet. The blow put me out of the game alto
gether, but il saved my life, and probably
the life of the landsman, too for / should
perhaps have drowned him. The steam cut
ter's crew hauled us up onto the lighter.
Now, I've never been court-martialed yet
for showing the white feather, and I've been
in few tight fits at that, but give you my
solemn word that il makes me break out
with cold perspiration down to this day
whenever / think of the minute so L
passed down underneath that coal lighter. l
simply tasted fear, with a capital F, in allo-
pathic doses. on that occasion. and when
ever my photographer comes around to
me for data with reference to my great and
useful life on board Uncle Sans line of
fighting packets. I'm going to tell him the
truth about il -