The Saint Paul globe., 1899-07-31
EPIsTLEs TO ST. PAUL.


One hitherto unpublished story of the
recent militia encampment at Lake City
has caused County Auditor Johnson much
tribulation and expense. 1t appears that
Little Billee" went down to the camp
as the guest of Maj. Libby. Being so
close to the commanding officer, Mr..
Johnson wass given some exceptional priv
ileges that were only shared by few.
For instance, the password might have
been Bismarck" or something, but the
auditor was not required to trouble him
self in remembering the word. Instead
he was giVensa large patent corkscrew by
the major, and thereafter, when he de-
sired to pass the lines, the formula was
something like this:
Halt! Who goes there?"
Man with a corkscrew."
Advance, man with corkscrew."
Then the guard, being posted, would
| recognize the corkscrew and pass the be-
lated auditor without further parley.
One afternoon, however, Mr.. Johnson
was sitting in the shade near the majors
tent when a squad of four men came up
and formally placed him under arrest.
1t was no use 20 resist, so he went peace
ably, and was taken to the corporal of
the guard, who ordered him searched.
The corkscrew was found and confis-
Gated by the corporal, and then, at the
word of command, these four men pro-
|
to his white hairs, tossed the auditor of
Ramsey county. It was fun for them.
The victim was informed that if he
mentioned the occurrence he would be
thrown in the lake. Consequently he
never told until he informed Maj Libby,
after his return. Now, the major and he
are wondering if the conspirators used
the corkscrew in turn, or the corporal
succeeded in keeping it for himself
w. A. Lang, of the St Paul Fire and
Marine, is fond of fishing and all the lit
tie advertisements that go to make up a
trip. A short time ago he and a number
OF gentlemen went up to one of the lakes
on Cal Stones road, ostensibly to capture
bass. A few days after his return a
friend met Mr.. Lang.
What kind of luck did you have?" he
asked.
VERY good. won $l4 going up"
'I see,'' said the young man who never
eats veal, that there is a growing dis
position to take the saloon out of poll
tics?"
Us, eh?" interrupted the Complacent
Chump What's the matter with taking
politics out of the saloon?"
''It's funny, too, when you come to
think about it," said the man in the
CRASH Sult, as he Went nShlnS among the
matches in his vest pocket for a car
ticket.
Whats funny?" inquired the man who
always chews a quill toothpick.
'Why, to think how impossible 1t
would be for a middle-of-the-road Pop
to succeed asa bicyclist'
Il do hate to see this country run by
proxy"
What do you mean?"
why, ever since Mark Hanna has
been abroad the reins of4 government an
pear to have fallen into the hands of
Tom Platt."
Every man and every corporation IS
supposed to do all he or it can to push
forward his or its business in all legiti-
mate ways. One of the Minneapolis
cemetery associations may be imbued
with the American notion of push II
has posted conspicuously on a corner of
its cemetery the words mo scorching''-
a sort of hint that Satan gives that
particular burying ground wide berth
and that those who are put to rest there
are in no danger of having 'hot time
In serials of a century each
There was a team, a base hall foam.
Its men went on a bender
AND when the seasons play was I'D
1t found itself tail-ender
There was a team, a base ball team;
Headquarters in ST Paul
And when the seasons play was up,
They turned 1t to the wall