The Washington weekly post., 1899-06-27
Brother Gardner's Philnsonhv.

IL had boy | shouldn't be allus ad-
Visln him TO do dis an not 20 do dat. but
l should encourage him TO go out aud
pick up bumble-bee an find out by eX-
perlence which was De bizness end of a.
lnseck. My gTan'fadder used 10 talk 10
me by de hour bout de evils Of intemper-
ance but couldn't catch on till one day
L drunk gallon o hard slider an was
run fTew threshin'- machine along vii
de wheat DaE's about so much In life 90
farn. an it's well 10 IaTn it as soon as
possible an git ober feelin Gurus"
Oar hain't no queshun in my mind bat
dat de pore man has got jest as much
right TO ride around in his keeFidge as dn
rich one, but when IL comes to payin' fur
de axle-grease dats d different matter
We ought 10 hev all bin bon rich, but
bein' as We wasn't, IL pears TO me to he
de wisest plan TO make de best Of H. lie
cussed de rich an Ize sympathized wld
de pore. but | nebber could see dat / cum
out ahead either way"
IF we'd study cur felleT-man a leetle
closer we'd git along wild MIN a heap bet
ter. When / knOWed dat my nayDur had
put his fence two feet ober on my land 1
u
vars If / axed him to move ii. / jest got
a friend to throw out a hint dat my shed
was six inches ober de line. an De nay5ur
paid all de expense of survey an hus-
tied his fence ober when ne found he vas
wrong"
Oar am sartin folks who seem 30 find
great consolashun in tellin how wicked
de world has becUm. an how utterly i'm
possible it ara to longer hnd an honest
man. When I h'ar sich pussons ggine on
/ allus move de woodpile a Ieetle near ds
doah an tell de old woman not 10 fOrglL
10 bring in de clothes-line. De man who
stole my wheelbarrer one night a var
ago sot an talked to me fur a hull hour
on de dishonesty Of mankind an Ge
pusson who robbed my hen-cOop was
ready 10 weep ober de defeueTashum
" hich he could see was ;akin place in
human natur'. II de bar trap which
hev sot in nv cucumber patch cOtches
anybody 'tall dis summer de chances am
fifty to one dat he'll be a social r.
fCrmer."
MANY folks am disappointed with life
bekase dey fail to realize dat der ara an
eternal fitness OF things. When yO' drap
de price Of white-wsshin' from 75 cents 10
90 cents de whitewasher draps In less lime
an pours In mo- water to maintain DE-
equilibrium. What yo' save In yor purse
Re saves iu his pail, an 50 yo' hain't 10
better Of"
AT some time or other every man SITS
down TO figger dat If he could only liD hIs
life ober again he'd steer clear or ali blum
ders He furgits. in de fust place. dat
natur' might bon him a fule 10 begin
wild. an dat If she didn't he wouldn't b.
human if he nebber made mistakes / Kin
look back an see whar' | orter hey gone
INTO hawgs instead Of chickens. an whar
I ortcr hey planted half squashes instead
of all pumpkins but II | was % I'D my
life ober again / might make wuss mis-
takes Taken all IN all. iCs a good nun
world to lib in, an de people vino preach
moral degenerashuG am al wrong. It's
Jest dat de barbed wire fence keeps Us
cut OF our naybur's truck patch. an We
lock de woOdshed doah 80 he Kin no lon
ger git at our soft-sOap barL It's jest
dat de street car conductors sios uS a.
quarter wild a hole IN 1t an de grocer
won't take IL IN turn from US. IT. 20
same world an de same people. only hu-
man nstuP sln't buyia' meWls wilh1-.
lookin fur spaying." VI. QUAD