The times., 1899-09-24

ter of Pinchas. the poet Surely one
would not expect to see Mr.. Warheld in
such a role
OF William Norris it is possible to say
that he played the part with that fine art
that brought into view even the small bit
he assumed, while with the Hollands in
! "A Social Highwayman-' He is one OF the
very few men who could have made appar-
ent even to the studious the various traits
OF a creation SO complex as Pinehas. Every
line he repeated and every gesture that
emphasized it had its meaning. His reel
tation OF the poem to Hannah-a bit of SIX
teen words-gas as able a thing as has
been seen in Washington during many
moons. And yet the correspondent men
toned was right in that Mr.. Norris put
into his characterization all the drollery
that made delightful his polite Iunatic in
The Belle os New York And the big
hit' was made by William Norris
What a pity it is that someone cannot
invent a machine for the manufacture OF
women, even as the chemists have devised
methods of making eggs The man who
could successfully take unto himself this
task would rot only win the undying re-
gard CT those whom business or pleasure
takes weekly to the burlesque shows" but
he would coin money into the bargain.
III,
ample. blondes should be worth from dol
lar ten to three dollars apieca-dsspite the
disfavor with which the goods are now re-
garded by men like George Lederer and
other large co1sumers-while bruuettes
ought to bring from twenty cents to fifty
cents more each. A factory which turned
out several hundred gross day would at
this rate, soon become a mint to its pro-
prietor, especially in times like these, when
New York retailers are at their wits end
for material and men like Bryant and Wat
son come TO Kernan's with a chorus that
should be placed in some respectable old
lady's refuge without delay.
OF course. one must consider that quite
a period would probably elapse before tie
inventor could so perfect lis apparatus
that the best grade of pToiuct could BE-
manufactured, but, no matter what the de-
fectS of the machine, its turnout could
not be worse than that displayed recently
in the tFayesty or vaudeville companies
that have visited Washington. At least.
the genius to provide this improvement
would be an expert in the art OF bleaching
the hair of his stock, ard this is mo than
can be said of the women of the Bryant
and Watson organization. The system,
too, could be so arranged that an cd
girl might be traded for a new one, AMI
hence audiences would not have to endure
what they now suffer. Altogether the plan
appears 10 be q fertile and generally al
mirable one-well worth the thought o,
the ingenious.
While the matter is pending. however. it
might be ample to hint TO Bryant and
Watson that all pretty women do hot
weigh over 200 pounds and possess lower
limbs that resemble inverted ehurns. 1t
may be suggested, too, that gold ore has
its place and that the aforesaid place. es-
p2cially when the mineral is in large
quantities. is not in the mouths OF 'front.'
row girls" Authorities do not agree at
what time of life chorus people cease to be |
charming damsels,' but few would Eame
an age more advanced than fifty-fiye, while |
some might go as low as forty There are |
other details that might be learned by Mr.. |
Watson. but these will do for the present. |
When they have been digested the inven-
tor who is surest that he has all the tai |
ent of the chemist who made eggs would |
do we'll to write to the firm and see if lie |
could not place an order with it. The pub
lie would be only too glad to pay the COM
mission.