Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-04-12
SPINNING WHEEL.
WHEN PA BEGINS TO SHAVE

WHEN PA BEGINS TO SHAVE
When Sunday mornin' comes around
My pa hangs up his strOp,
An takes his razor out an makes
1t go cfOp! c'fop
An yells t me, Behave!
l tell y'u, things is might still
When pa begins t shave.
Then pa he stirs his brush around
An makes tn sOapsuds fly;
An sometimes, when he stirs too hard,
He gifts some in his eye.
| tell y'u, but it's funny then
To see pa stamp and rave;
But yu mus MT git Eetched latin =
When pa begins t shave
TIL hired hand he dassent talk,
An even Mas afeard.
An yu can hear I'll racer click
A-cuttin' through pas beard!
An then my Uncle Bill lie laffs
An says: Gosh, John, you're brave:
An pa he SWearS, an ma jest smiles
When pa begins t shave.
When pa gifts a-shavin' of
His face, he turns around,
And Uncle Bill says: why, John, 800
Y'ur chin looks like ploughed ground.
An then he laffs--iest laffs an laffs
But | got t behave
Cos things apt t. happen quick
When pa begins t shave
Harry Douglas Robins in Puck
Woman is finding out something to ner
advantage every day. Another reform
wave has struck one of New York s
suburbs. the Newark high school girls
having cast away their cOrsets ana de-
clGred for freedom of movement. Inc
move cannot be described as n. new one,
but the wave seems TO have been Il bit
late in reaching the Jersey shore. Any
way, the girls haven't cast away much;
The latest revolution is an emotional
one. Too hearty lunch caused STOUT
pupil to show certain symptoms OF the
early advent of fit of apopleNy. lnves-
tigation revealed the tight corsets.
Sharp knife. Strings severed. Relief:
Lecture by school teacher on the evils OF
tight lacing. Girls with veins full of
patriotic blood declared they never would
be slaves to fashion. Air full of cotton
batting, bits of steel, lace edging and
other fluffy things. Bull movement in
Many advantages are claimed for the
new idea. and the Brooklyn girls are go
ing to adopt the same plan.
What It Seemed Like-Young Wife
L got Il beautiful parchment diploma
from the Cooking college today-and I've
cooked this for you. Now, guess what
between his teeth)-"The diploma. =
Puck.
A friend of Rev. DR.. p. S Henson, the
popular Chicago preacher, not long ago
found the pastor in one Of the large de-
partment stores. He was leaning up
against Il supporting pillar in Il brown
study. why, Henson. what in the
world are you standing there for?' asked
the friend oh" said the parson. as
twinkle came into his eye, Just put
ting into practice that verse in the Bible:
All the days of my appointed time will
[ wait till my change come.
An eminent lawyer of New York. when
his son was about to enter the legal pro-
fession thought it incumbent upon him
to offer some advice born of his own eX-
perience. ''My son." said he, whenever
in trying case YOU find the law is in
your favor but the facts against YOU,
come out strong on the law" Yes,
father" said the attentive son. ''And if
you find resumed his adviser. that
the facts are in your favor and the law
against You, come out strong on the
facts. The attorney in embryo medi-
tated a moment. and then asked. hest
tatingly: But suppose, father. the law
and facts are both against YOU" 'Oh,
WELL continued the parent. unctuously.
in that case-talk around it."
li1. de CldG-"lLg dear, a great CIR
man physician says woi-en require more
sleep than men"
Mrs. de C.-"Does he?"
Mr.. de C.-"Yes. my dear-unl-er-
you'd better not wait up for me tonight"
New York Weekly.
-:O:--
The March Blackwood has some sto-
lies of Nelson and Wellington. told by
Mrs. Charles BagOt. who had them from
her father and uncle-the former, Admi-
raj Percy, having served under Nelson
and the later having been aide-de-camp
to Wellington. There is an amusing an
ecdote about Nelson. Two Spanish cap
tains came on board, with d request to
be allowed to see 1.-The greatest seaman
in the world" Nelson grumbled, but gave
in, and went on deck-fOrgetting that lat
that moment his legs were bound I'D at
the knees and ankles with pieces of
brown paper soaked in vinegar and tied
on with red tape
This had been done to allay the irrita-
ton arising from mosquito bites. Quite
forgetting his attire and the extraordinary
appearance which it presented, Lord Mel
son went on deck and conducted the in
terview with the Spanish CAPTAINS with
such perfect courtesy that his singular
appearance was quite obliterated by the
charm Of his manner, and the Spaniarls
left the ship with their high opinion Of
him thoroughly confirmed.
First Tourist-"That Indian seems to
have an awful load on Second Tour
ist-''Yes. He has evidently followed
Kipling's advice, and taken up the white
mans burden."-Life.
UNREMITTING
When smiling summer comes again
And jOcund daisies grow,
Wen have to cut the waving grass
Where once we ShOyeled snow;
Wen have to hear the same sad vail
When men are brought together;
There's no vacation for the man
Who kicks against the weather.
Washington Star
An Irish daily prints the following ia
dignant protest from "A Cyclist"
while cycling on the ROAD near Hea1y's
bridge a foxey terrier dog stole Oh inc