Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-01-21
WHAT HE REALLY DID |

grin-the difference between our intentions
and our performances, isn't it?" said COM
mercial traveller at one Of the hotels the
other night. Il was in the Hotel Baldwin
| fire in San Francisco couple of months
| ago-lost everything 1 had along with me,
| including a thousand and odd dollars worth
of jewelry and all of my sample cases but
| one, and L was glad to get out with my
| life at that. 1t was the first hotel fire in
which l had figured. L had often mentally
| calculated upon what l should do in case
hotel in which L was guest should be-
| gin to confiagrate. L was going to be the
cOolest-headed man within radius of many
miles. If the fire should break out in the
mlodle of the night while / was in bed
intended to get up very coolly upon being
awakened by the noise and excitement, de-
lioerately slip on enough clothing to keep
me out of the hands of the police upon
making my appearance, get my gig-lamps
together in one pocket and my money in
another and then pick up my most valu-
able sample case and the valise in which
had packed articles of clothing in current
use, and walk out, leaving the rest of my
gear to take its chance upon the fire being
squelched. l always carried one OF these
respirators along with me, such as hremen
use in fighting fires, and intended to mask
my countenance with it in order to enable
me to walk through the corridors without
danger from smoke asphyxiation. On my
way through the corridors, in case l met
up WIFI any Dedulllul, SupplCdllIlS Ildiu-
ems or any aged, incapable women, 1 had
it all pictured how I would drop my two
grips and take them down the seething
staircase, one in each arm, presenting a
heroic and inspiring spectacle as l emerged
from the caldron of flame. Oh, I had this
hotel fire proposition all Strengthened out
right, and, in fact, until that Hotel Bald
win fire came along / always had sort
of sneaking grievance because / couldn't
somehow get myself involved in one of
| these burn-ups. thus enabling me to prove
what a hot-rather, what a cool-member
I could be on occasions of great pith and
moment.
We'll, what happened? Luckily for me,
| had third-story front room in the Bald
win. The fire broke out in the basement
along toward 3 o'clock in the morning. l
snored luXurousy until about a dozen en-
gines were throwing streams on the lower
portion of the structure. When was in the
middle of a dream that I was standing in
front of LOT of big stores on a great bust
ness thoroughfare, throwing croquet balls
through huge plate-glass windows-it was
the smashing glass down below that got me
into that strain of dreamng-I woke up. The
glare in my room was something luminous.
Did I slowly stretch, say to myself, Here's
that long-waited-for fire, and it's up to me
to be the man of the hour and the real
thinc?'
Not much. did I, I Just said Holy
smoker and hoped up like a man who
finds family of centipedes in his bed. I
grabbed a pair of rubbeTs that were lying
alongside my bed and put them on the
wrong feet giving all the time, during the
performance. a realistic exhibition of man
undergoing a swamp chill. Then l snatch.
ed a macintosh that I had thrown over
my trunk on coming in the night before.
and folded it, after considerable difficulty,
owing to my chill tremblings. over my
pajamas. Then I reached for a hat and, of
course it was about my luck to get the
worst hat / owned out of half a dozen scat
tered over the room. II was Fedora hat,
and put it on crosswise in my excitement.
so that it looked like a sort of modernized
Napoleon Chapeau on my head. Then |
made for the door / want you to under
stand that l made for the door in a hurry,
too. My nice, unused respirator was handy
enough in my top bureau drawer, but l
didn't have any time for any respirators.
l hadn't lost any respirators On my way
to the door | stumbled over one of my
sample cases, and kicked it over in front
of the door. / had to pick it up in order
to open the door, and so l hung on to it
and took it along with me- / afterWard
found it to be the least consequential sam
pie case l had, one that / could very easily
have dispensed with compared with those
that I lost. Jewelry? Money? buds? 1
wasn't thinking any more of them when I
frantically unlocked and unbarred that
door of mine than 1 was of taking bal
loon before breakfast in the morning and
starting for the north pole to hunt for An
dree. just wanted to get out, that's all.
The halls We're filled with smoke | found
but after ten years of stopping annually at
the Baldwin, generally in the same room
l knew the stairways and the route down
to the lobby pretty well, and just put my
free hand over my mouth and nose and
made the rush. Dye suppose that if I had
met forty of the most beautiful maidens on
the globe-supplicating, imploring maidens
standing there confused in that third
floor hallway, I'd have picked EN- up, one
in each arm, and, permitting them to gently
nestle up against my macintosh have car
ried them triumphantly down the stairs
and out into the street, and under the
broad arch of heaven, and all that? No
wouldn't have. It's grievous and grewsome
to have to confess it, but I'm afraid that
I'd just have yelled at them to follow my
route, and then have kept on getting over
territory myself. 1 fell down the first flight
of stairs, from top to bottom, then picked
myself up with the one idea of getting out
scampered to the head of the second flight
of stairs and fell down those l lit on the
tagging of the lobby, and in two more
seconds l was in the street When few
minutes later, reflected upon my loss and
the general hamlike character of my con-
duet, did I want to go back and get my
things and do the whole thing over again
right and in accordance with my precon-
ceived intentions in case of hotel fire?
Nope. | was content to stand there in the
street and figure how I'd perform the next
time 1 got similarly caught"