Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-01-14

tiSdi, anu was tdlh-
ative.
ASK me some hard ones" he said THE
whole country's been my territory for fif-
teen years past. and is yet. 1 know the
United States like a book. That's my par
ticular graft-the United States and the
cities thereof and the folks that live in
them. Put some EXTREMITY difficult propo-
sitions to me in the shape of questions
Ask me what l think about things / know
it all"
whats the swiftest town in this coun-
try, then?" asked one of the local business
men, at a venture. Better than that, name
the three swiftest'
San Francisco, New Orleans and Hele-
ma, replied the commercial traveller with
70 more hesitation than if he but answered
an inquiry to the price of goods. San
Francisco first though, by a thousand
miles. San Francisco is perhaps the swift
est town in the world, let alone the United
States. It's a city of high-fiyers. People
out there Just commence to get out of bed
for the days fun along about or o'clock
in the evening. New York thinks itself
warm. So does Chicago. But neither New
York or Chicago is in it for minute with
San Francisco for swiftness. | suppose
more people go broke out in San Francisco
in chasing after fun than anywhere else on
the globe They find the fun, but slathers
they have entirely finished the pursuit.
Rapid Way of Living.
There's something in the California at
mosphere that conduces TO rapid way of
livng-to the burning the-candle-at-b both
ends habit. But you've got to have a lot
Ct money out there to be in the push. San
Francisco's main bunch is an arstocracy
of wealth almost exclusively. If you haven't
got the coin out theres you. have got to
resign yourself to figuring among the also
rams. IL i
It's the coldest-blooded town on earth in
which TO go broke You.ofteri hear tommy
rot about the lavish hospitality of Caiifor-
mans. Don't believe a WORD of it. Cali
fornias a heart-break for 1.-THE man up
against it, and San Francisco particularly
50. I've seen men with bum silk hats on
their heads working a street cleaning in
San. FTanCisco-fellows that have gone out
to California from the east. with the idea
of making te1-strikes and getting rich
When they went broke they had to take the
first thing that came along. There's an as
tonishingly small middle class in San Fran
cisco. 1T always strikes, me out there that
the folks that haven't got money to burn
are Hat broke, or as good as, broke. It's a
big gambse. somehow or another the game
of life out there on the Pacific slope But
the folks that live there take it as il comes al
ana they surely do spin around a bean
Whlie their velvet lasts. New York or
chicago man has got TO be in good. hard
training II he expects to keep up with the
procession out in San Francisco and even
then he's a good one if he lasts the route.
san francisco, III fact is such a cIipner
that it's demoraIizing When Won add IN
this the fact that the climate of San Fran
CISCO IS the most atrocious known on the
face of the inhabitable world-oh VII
We'll say in the United States tben.yo',.,..
GOT can FRANCISCO about at its correct pro-
portions. wouldn't care to live there,
New Orleans is Lively.
wen, now about New Orleans?" asked
ahother member of the party There's a
popular theory that New Orleans IS rather
a dead one
fopular failacy, you ought to say" re-
phed the commercial traveller New Or
leans Is the most animated dead one I've |
. Wdikeu around in, and I've had nv
twenty or forty hacks at all of them. in |
lhiS country at least. 1 hope there's no |
one from Louisiana in the crowd. for
want 10 say that there's more drinking |
oolte III Ne" orleans than in any town / |
ever saw L don't say drunkenness, UNDER
stand, l say drinking Thu peonle DOW
thcfe nave got the science of holding their |
uililk down very pat and you very rarely |
see an intoxicated white man on the streets |
OF New Orleans. But, gea whiz, how thav
do drink in that town! Morning drinking |
you know Now, up around this part of |
t the "ofid the men that take certain num-
per per Oh drinks every day never think of |
beginning at their allotted task before |
iuncheon. man up this way that drinks |
pelor7 the beginning of the afternoon is |
Iathe[ ashahtiy gazed at. Not so down in |
t t, oIlsans-not by jugful! It's drink |
from getting-up time to turning-in time |
ana the more the better, with the New,
orleans myers You hear high-fiown senti- |
lnehts expressed by men at an extremely
tdiIy hour IN the day, down in New Or |
le&ns-poetic, gin-ricky thoughts Won kno,,
before the bite of luncheon. But Won pct |
Used TO all that in time even if YOU find |
II impossible to get used to the New or
learis hours Tor drinking as applied to your
own person. Charming old town. nice peo-
pie; New Orleans is all right The snecn- |
iatlVe manner of treating the game of life |
Pi=Vails thefe, too, as it does in San Fran |
CISCO which is probably the reason why |
the men on velvet today strive so earnestIv
and so successfully to make the most 81
their TIME and opportunities in the wav |
Vi pleasure seeking. New Orleans is an |
oah Sl OF the towns that make New York |
or chicago look, respectively. like Kokomn
and kankakee when it comes to the matter |
OF actual swiftness."
Honey is Easy in Helena.
How did you happen to insert Helena |
IN that list?" asked one of the commercial !
travellers listeners. "I..for one, know that |
iieieha IN the state of Montana, that it's |
the main town of that state and that's all !
l know about it, 5
ousht TO take runs out there and have |
d look at IT, was the commercial travellers |
reply. ~ remember correctly, Helena is |
en- enc ricnest city per capita in the United |
Ss"tes' Which Is saying heap. Well, most |
OF the Helena men picked up their money |
out out Of the ground-lucky finders in min |
well, you couldn't very well expect them to |
h nan on to their dust like set of staid old |
Philadelphia merchants could you? They |
go a merry pace out HI Helena; it's vide |
open and all alive, and 3thefe's not a front |
doof Key owned in the citys Nothing ever |
closes up in Helena. And by the way, |
man who ten years as6 WIS a clerk In a |
Washington book store. He now owns so |
many sapphire mines that he doesn't know |
where they begin or end, and-well, he |
contributes his mite to the general swift |
ness OF Helena. After Helena comes Dem |
Yer, and" ~
"Swltch-off to a more agreeable subject" |
suggested one of the listeners. What !
American city has got the prettiest girls?"
For Pretty; Girls.
Philadelphia first, Atlanta second Wash |