The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1899-12-24
4 MAN MUCH OUT OF PLACE
TRIED TO OBLI6E HIS WIFE By
DOING SOME SHOPPING.

A Suffering Citizen In a Circle of swishinR
skirts-Unkind Treatment ut tho Hands
Of Women-Ovntions and Inform alton
From the saIespoopie-His Final Escape.
Tho suffering citizen stood smiling q sickly
smile surrounded by acirclo of swishing skirts.
This Is only statement Of plain facts, not study
In sihllant phonetcs though tho fact that tho
suffering citizens name was Smith might add
TO that suspicion Smith had come over from
his happy home in Brooklyn 10 do q little shopping
for his wifi. with specific directions as TO how
and where 10 do It, Ho had little list on which
we're sundry articles including q cako Of soap.
two yards Of silk. tooth brush. q roll Of tape,
pair Of black silk stockings wished
that his wife had left them of-a box Of hair pins.
dozen handkerchiefs and various other art
eIrS all Of which no was TO got at one store.
Having reached the entrance, he paused in dis
may at tho surging mass OF femininity rushing
through the swinging doors He wasn't Al all
certain that II would be safe for an unprotected
man 10 become involved in that riot He watched
TO see II any other man were bravo enough 70 go
H. hu, saw none though q few came 70 the en-
trance looked about them, and fed precipitately.
"hle Smith WAS considering what he should say
10 Mrs Smith II he did likewise, side eddy OF
me rush caught him and before no knew what
mad happened the advancing billow had swept him
past the portals and into tho dread precincts
That Is how he came TO be standing and smiling
sIckly smile He stood becausn he didn't know
where TO go and he smiled 10 show to cold world
mat Il" was still In tho ring. The skirts swtshed
unanimously around him and occasionally ono
o' them got more or less tangled up with him TO
MS great distress, and the owner thereof said TO
MN in fTgidly insulting accents, Il beg your
pardon, and withercd him with why -cumbcrcth
i.''heearth style OF glance that swept him from
lead to foot As far "a hs could see In any
direction there was nothing but women In sight
They shoppcd, Smith wished that he knew
now they did IL He felt that h" must make some
move He made it, and the next instant he waO
We apex Of a flying wedge, plunging inesis'i'
n'P toward q bargain counter Smith struggled
o'S~rarly. He didn't yearn for bargains. AL
ready no would have been only too glad TO give
up al his money and get out with his life. but
mere was no withstandng the impelling forces
o'n'nd him, He brought up against plump
''ly whose life was saved by the strength OF her
'ays as she impinged upon the edge of the coun-
W with such force that 1t cracked and began
" retreat Smith gave mighty wrigglc. slid
OIL 10 one side and found himself against tho
counter gazing into the eyes OF little Ted-headed
sth'pgrl Tho eyes seemed to be questioning
MN but his faculties had been shaken by tho
euNHrnn"ss Of his charge and the gasps OF tho
"uhp lady next him who had acted az buffer dis
arranged his mental processes so that he couldn
4u't" remember what he wanted Presently his
"ha.e lot ~ required articles shot into his mind
Nona" He addressed the red headed shop girl.
Toothbrush silk roll tape stockings air
vlns ,ba and