Daily inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1881-1901, 1899-12-28
All. FOR A BLACK EYE.

ALI. FOX A BIAANh
NeYnher No. IL of the Washington
Liars club made his appearance down
town one dav last week With his left eye
in heavy mourning.
His business and personal associates,
as we'll as those of the members of the
Liars club whom he met, appreciated the
eye mourning greatly. They exhlplted
remarkable solicitude, not as 10 the con-
dition of No. lis eye, but as to where,
when and how, and at whose hands he got
the same. Samples of their inquiries and
rem arks in this respect may be set down
thus:
Look at that lamp! It's gone QUIZ
"Who pasted you"
"What were you doing to him?"
Did you get back at him"'
"Say, you're two shades o%I--purpl .
the kind now!' -
"Now, will o be good?'
.Who counted the ten seconds over
your
Say, If you're so easy as that you
ought to carry an Az
Let me soak you in the right to make
'em match" j..
II didn't know Jeffries was in town"
"Did you discover any new comets?'
These and many other ribaid things did
the business and personal associates ana
fellow club members say unto Member
NO. II of the Washington Liars /
when he made his appearance "in the
midst" with MS LETT eye aeeplv IN
mourning. And No. II unused thus:
whats the use of shooting EN- all the
same spiel? Every man that gets a black
eye has a Ion 8, disconnected incohere1at
story wherewith he e~ndeavors to explain
away and mitigate the g~rievousness OF
the same to his inquiring and suspicious
friends, adj of whom go away with the
deem conviction Within them, anyhow,
that he has been punched. 1 will be an
original proposition with my bum lamp.
l will spin a different one unto each jay
that asks me where / got it. Then they
can get together and compare notes, and
thereby they will discover that of them
selves already l nave made is
it not yet?'
So that it came to pass that within two
days after the downtown appearance OF
Member No. II of the Liars club, with
his m%ournful left eye, the many and sun
dry and divers of his business and per-
sonal and club associates who made
mirthful inquiries of him as to the source
of his optical injury-all Of them feeling
within their hearts all the time that No.
II had simply been punched-were made
aware of the following methods by which
the damage had been wrought-here set
down in the words Of Nc. II himself.
MY Irish washerlady hit me with a
clothes basket"
II was run over by a Ninth street car
MY wife's pet dog jumped at ME White
| dreaming-the dog, I mean
IT fell against the bannisters in the
dark
81 got hit by a stray piece of shell in
the battle of Manila
"a highwayman in the Smithsonian
-, Ia; y,o ,xith % 1lo n /; n l.
II was hunting for trouble in Jackson
City and got it,
"A cop dubbed me Wantonly with a
beer bottle"
.My small boy hit me with a ropes end
while we We're playing horse
Its a birthmark-never notice it be-
foreo"
Il was running down schley in a
| crowd of Marylanders.'
playing ball"
"Accidently hit with a golf stick"
Looking glass fell on me while I was
shaving"
Ran into the rear end of a lumber
wagon"
"Was trying to board a Fourteenth
! street car at 4 O'Clock on a rainy after
| noon"
WAS singing What Did Dewey do to
Them" when it happened"
WAS playing bean bag ard got hit"
IleSe ana many Ot1ef causes ulu NO.
II of the Washington Liars club furnish
I his solicitous and joyful friends as the
particular and several occasions of his
draped orb.
Three days e he was summoned to
! attend an extraordinary meeting Of the
Liars club. No. II rejo:ced greatly with
in himself when he received the sum-
mons, for he figured it a cinch hat he
would receive the zinc loving knife an
nually bestowed upon the most pictur-
esque liar of the organization. What,
then, was his surprise to find nausht but
! stern faces awaiting him, and to hear this
severe ~ariaignment from the lips of the
chief liar:
No. II. you are III for Impeachment.
! All reports are in. and the fact seems un-
| deniable that you have not yet accounted
for your bum lamp IN the ground that
| you fel, off your bike. What Rave sou to
say for yourseif??'
No. II pulled through by the narrowest
of majorities when it calne to the vote,
| and he has resolved that the next time he
| gets q black eye he'll cut the oat.a so he
ont have to say OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Star.