davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03
THE BOTHERsOME FLY.

The Ono That Comes In and Skins
Around Gay,y Early in the Morning.
"One. swallow may not make sum
mer, very likely not, but one fly. at
this season, can make heap OF trou-
BILE. This n.y." Said Mr.. Gozzleby, lis
the one that comes into your room to
greet you in the early morning, soon
after sun-up, but long before You want
to get up. He is not satisfied with buz-
zing up to you and saying 'howdy' once,
but with great excess of politeness
or good nature or friendly feeling or
just downright stupidity, for it certainly
can't be mere maliciousness-the fly
doesn't know enough for that-comes
at you again and again. II he goes
anywhere else, it is only to return. You
brush him away drowsily at first, but
there's nothing drowsy about the fly;
he is up for the day, and he comes
around at you again at full speed and
lights on you suddenly. Your drowsi-
ness Is gone now, and the cold fact Is
that you try to smash the debonnair
fly that got up so early. But say, you
may have a good deal more brute
strength than the fly, but you are not
in 1t at all with him for sprightliness,
and when you bring your hand down
where he, was he is as likely as not
calmly walking head down on the cell
ing. But he does not neglect you: he
is back again and presently, when yuu
have got comfortably and hopefully
settled down, zip! in a Swimming flight
so close to your ear that you fancy you
can feel the wind from his wings, and
then he swings round in a graceful loop
and lands on your nose. And that's the
way he goes; free from care, wi6ea-
wake himself. never dreaming that no.
body else wants to sleep, just tear
ing and r'aring and prancing around,
and lighting on you every now and
then at irregular but not infrequent in
tervals, and keeping everything stirred
up, so that sleep is quite out Of the
question. And at last you give 1t up
and get up an hour or two ahead Of
your usual time You are good deal
bigger than the fly, but there are times
when the fly gets the better Of you.
One swallow may not make summer,
but one fly may easily make man
swear
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03
Turkish Humor.

The Turk is proverbially sedate. His
serious demeanor has led people to
doubt his capacity for wit or for rel
fishing a joke. To disprove this opin-
ion, Mr.. Buckley, author of Travels
in Three Continents" gives the follow
ing specimens of Turkish humor: Said
dervish to a camel, What makes
your lip so crooked?" To which the
camel replied: What is there straight
about me that you should take excep-
ton to my lip" A man called upon a
Turk to borrow his donkey. The own
er declared the donkey was not at
home. While the conversation was 60
ing on the donkey from within prayed.
Said the applicant: There, he is here.
Let me have him." Said the Turk: Il
will lend no man anything who will
believe donkey's voice against mine. "
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03

John A. Oliphant of Perry, Ok, and
William Zimmerman of Kansas City
do not know the given names OF their
wives. Mrs. Oliphant and Mrs. thinner
man are twin sisters. They are the
daughters Of the Hon. J. r. Greer, for
merly of Topeka. Kan.
The two sisters were born in To-
peka, Kan, some thirty years ago, and
when born Mr.. and Mrs Greer could
not tell them apart. They were named
Mary and Martha. They were at first
dressed unlike one another, and the
father cared for Martha and the mother
for Mary at night. Later a servant
girl. in dressing the two chill
dren, got them mixed, and neither she
nor their parents could tell Mary from
Martha. u Isl pix VI
The nsighbof1 were called to help
solve GAe inericats problem. but III .
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03
The Professors Of Olivet College Make An
Interesting Discovery.

side the door a thousand goggling, at
fectionate eyes watched. "There!"
cried the general, in halkcomic despair
Il cannot think altogether displeased
Its all over; we are found out. Well,
well, they must have their own way"
1t was the general" they waited to
see, not the president. They lined the
roadway from house to barge, record
Ing every movement in observant
brains. CA distinguished man can
never know which of his audience is
to be his biographer. 1t may he one
of the "supers" on the stage rolling of
the carpets.) The thunder of artil-
lery could not drown the living shout
that rose from the threats OF the people
as Washington was borne of with the
rise and fall Of the oars cleaning in the
cheerful sun. His voice trembled as
he babe the assembled crowd farewell:
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03

The skeleton of a mastodon, nearly
complete, has been discovered near Oil
vet, Mich, by college professors.
Twelve years ago H. G. Bumpus, the
first professor Of biology. made inter-
esting discoveries in a low, swampy
place, and, according to arrangements
made by him, word was at once taken
to the college, when. short time ago.
additional evidences of mastodon re-
mains appeared. Prof. G. A. Knapp
Immediately formed party consisting
Of Profs. Stewart Montgomery and w.
E. c. Wright, and Fitz l.. Reed. vice.
president Of the college. The bones
were found in small marsh that Is
covered with water except in dry Pc
RODS. They formed part Of an old
beaver dam. and probably were brought
4 short distance by the beavers. Three
feet Of muck was over them. a depth
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03

Branscombe-wonderful likeness at all
times-fair hair. slight fgure-like a
girls-no hair on face-no wonder you
were taken in"-meaning 'Lady's
maid in the plot, supplied all the rig
out, ETC., and gave the tip into the bar
gain. uncommonly well managed.
Astonishing how the young fellow gets
over the women-they're all ready to
90 down on their knees and to sell their
souls for hinl--every one of them. AS
for this one"
Woodward" calculated. beginning
to recover from my stupefaction, and
to see daylight through the whole
thing.
Yes" returned the ex-groom, with
a wink. Young woman soft on the
sex generally, you see-didn't want
much counting to let the whole cat out
of the bag-as much as she knew.
Knows nothing about the will; she be-
lieved Mr.. Rrarscombe only wanted TO
look at it, she says. He told her so,
and she thought it hard lines that he
was not allowed to go to the house
or to be at his uncle's funeral. She
never supposed that he wanted to get
hold Of the will altogether. And now
what we've got to do is to make him
hand 1t over. But"-breaking off in his
rapid explanation-'I told you all this
in the letter I gave you this evening.
Didn't you read it? Bless my soul!
You haven't dropped it?"-as I rum
mayed fruitlessly in one pocket after
another. you haven't lost it,"
"It's not here! No. did not read it.
Stay--I may have left it in the draw
ing-room: wait here whilst see, will
be back directly"
Mrs. Heathcote and Miss Elmsli. had
not yet retired. Lights were full on in
the drawing-room. contrary to the vir-
tuous early habits OF the household.
and the two ladies were seated side by
side on couch by the fire, discussing
over and over again the wonderful sur
prise of the evening.
What is it," asked Mrs. Hes1hcote,
rising to assist my search. IL letter?
No, there is no letter here Eliza must
have seen it If it had been left on the
tea-table, and she never takes letters
or papers away-the Rector has
trained her too we'll for that No, it is
certainly not here. hope it was not
important. But you will be sure to
find 1t upstairs or in the study. Have
you looked there?'' ;:.: Isl. 5;3 i
Widdrington was awaiting me impa-
tsaNy when I1returred.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03
occupants ~ tic rear platform.
,,,; .1s{ &C. AZ II Mod III \ "a ',5,

y tns rear platform PEI ~ ~. /
must hs rs drSppsd IT,
-Thsn the whole things blown
ruined, !" cried the man. clapping on bis
Hat, ana making for the door. There's
not q minute to be lost. \ 5.t
NY letter was gone there was no
doubt about II. "A second and calmer
search through my pockets confirmed
the fact. I had entirely forgotten the
paper, attaching no Importance to 4 at
the moment, regarding 1t as simply a
ruse on the detectives part to attract
my attention: and subsequent events
had entirely driven the whole circum-
stance out Of my mind. had doubt
less dropped tho missive-with all Its
important revelation-in the garden or
hall. .+ ,uslu , D.
"a / opened the window Of my bed
room, which looked over the lawn and
garden path by which 1 had returned
to the house. A mans figure-Wid'
drington's-was just vanishing through
the. gate. He had evidently been
searching over the ground. SO that no
efforts OF mine were needed. / won
dered what success he had had. Prooa-
bly, he found the missing letter, and Al!
fear of miscarriage to his plans was
over.
1 sat up late into the night, writing
and reading. Sleep, in the tumult OF
nv mind. was out Of the question. l
had to think over and realize the won
derful and blissful change which had
come into my life. Mona, my peerless
treasure, was mine-my own. And the
cloud which had overshadowed her
even in my most loyal thought-hao
dimmed the rapturous JOY Of my BE-
trothal.
/ had almost forgotten Widdrington
in the foodtide OF my happiness, but
when l descended to the breakfast
room the next morning, l was abruptly
recalled to tile subject of last nights
interview. On my plate lay note
marked-"Delivered by hand II
contained only these words
Gone. Disappeared last night. Let
ter not found"
Later in the day the detectives In
telligence was confirmed by the Rector.
Mr., Charles Branscombe had gone
from Forest Lea, leaving no address
behind him. The two or three female
servants remaining in charge either
knew or would tell nothing. Charlie
I'D o,u,o,c , fascinating influence on
their class and set; as Widdrington had
said, there was something of feudai
devotion in their loyalty to him. They
no doubt thought his case hard one'
and they would not betray him.
Mr.. Heathcote's new groom had also
| acknowledgements to London by
the dangerous illness of his father, the
| household believed.
To be continued.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03
-: !: OF "a 7V1ASTODON

Mr.. Trlpler, as he struck the time Of
day on 1t. 'It's that fool Chef" ex-
claimed the waiter, as he started for
the kitchen. "A few minutes later the
chef appeared with the head waiter.
He recognized the steak by sight at
once. Then Mr.: Tripler took 1t up and
rang it again. Mercy! Gracious"
calculated the chef. II didn't do 1t,
sure!" Then Mr.. Tripler laughed and
Mr.. Thompson smiled. A new steak
was ordered and the frozen one was
carried below to fool the rest Of the
kitchen.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03
nv wife-will you let me be your

nv wife-will you let me be your
cousin?"
, ,s3"Is this true?" she exclaimed IN
breathless wonder. "Oh, was never
90 glad of anything in my life'-c'asp.
Ing her hands. Receive you! "
course l will. I must 60 to the dear
child at once"
Its the most satisfactory way out
Of all our difficulties" Mr.. Heathcote
declared, when l had laid my position
fully before him. 1t has relieved my
mind Of a great load Of anxiety.
could not have borne to see the dear
Sirl married to that other fellow. Anu
now suppose we must give up Forest
Lea. I am sorry about the old place.
too. II the will"
- let it co." said. hastily, recalled
to the remembrance Of all the trouble
involved in that unhappy subject
"Mr. Tillott would like to speak to
you, SIR" announced a maid, as l
crossed the hall. bedroom candlestick
in hand.
who on earth is Mr.. Tillott?" in
quired.
,, ITS the groom. sir. He wants to
see you about letter he found in the
dog7cart, he says"
"Oh, yes-all right! Where Is he?'
I remembered then that I had never
read the letter; it ka6 passed COM
pletely out Of my mind since thrusting
It into my pocket before my explana-
ton with Mona.
''Hs is waiting in the study, sir. lie
said he was sorry to disturb you 80
late"
lust so-whlch is the study"
The girl conducted ME to the door.
It was open, and "Mr. Tillott" was
standing just within, turning his out
delivery ha: round and round in his
hands.
Il thought it might be Of conse-
quence, sir" he commenced respect
fully. Then, as closed the door on
she girl, he came close to me and whis-
Erred-"It's all right. I've been over
to Colonel Egerton's, and shall have
the warrant the first thing in the morn
ing"
.'The warrant I echoed, aghast.
E Eyes: prompt action Is the only
thing responded the brisk detective.
s.'Ths arrest viii be made before ten
sSteIock. 4
4 Arrest" Fortunately my back was
EStnsd % tAe light, ana Widdrington
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03
Full of Meaning.

There are few more expressive
phrases than some which pass current
among primitive races. Henri Mayer,
a membe OF the French council for the
government OF the colonies, transcribes
a few expressions used by natives in
Madagascar, which seem to deserve a
wider vogue. Speaking of an egotist,
they say, He, knows two for himself,
and not one for anybody else" HE
Is like the cock that sings at night,
they say Of the unlimited talker, while
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03
Pc RSONALLY CONDUCTED
TOURS
70 California In Pullman Tourist Sleep.

70 Californis In Pullman Tourist Sleep
ing Carr. NrE @g#
Via the Chicago Great Western to Kan
sas City and the Santa Fe Route to
Los Angeles and Southern California.
The true winter route avoiding cold
weather and snow blockades. Com
mencing Monday, Oct. 23d, and on
every Monday following, one of these
now Pullman Tourist Sleeping Cars
will leave Des Mones Zen route from
St. Paul via Oelwein) at 8:45 p. m. via
the Chicago Great Western for Los
Angeles and Southern California via
Kanras City, and reaching Los An
geles the following Friday morning.
thus avoiding all Sunday travel. These
tours are personally conducted by an
experienced railway official, who &C
companies the train to its destination.
The cars are well equipped for long
Journey and are as comfortable AZ the
Pullman Sleepers, while the price Is
only Sc for double berth Tor $3.50
from Stations south Of Waterloo), less
than half the price in the Standard
Sleepers. For full information in
quirel Of any Chicago Great Western
Agent, or address F. H. Lord, General
Pass. & Ticket Agent, 113 Adams st.,
Chicago. -
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03

could not see my scared face. Surely
this Is an extreme measured"
Extreme" answered the detective,
TITS the only course, II we are to lay
hands on the will at all. Afterwards
it can be hushed up by the family
refusal to prosecute and so on. But
intimidation is the only line at pres
ent, and in the circumstances the will
we must have. She doesn't know
where it is-of that I am sure. 1t has
not been made way with-criminals
seldom do that sort Of thing; it shuts
the door behind them, you see. Wen
put on the thumbscrew, and 1t will
come out, never fear"--with an odious
chuckle.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03

OF the everlasting borrower they re-
mark: His mouth is his snuff box"
When a man conducts his affairs well,
a native will tell you: HE swims
without noise" Or, II he seeks the i'm
possible: HE wants the bird on the
wing" To render the idea Of "a lit
tle," Malagasy will point to the
ground and say: Like the water in the
holes made by chickens feet" And
II he wishes to describe person who
is content with moderate comforts, he
will put it thus: HE behaves like
hound munching flies"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03
A JOKE ON WASHINGTON.
His Wish to Steal Away Unnoticed Was
Frustrated.


Frustrated.
Washington was not churlish, but he
had that preference for being unob-
served that develops at times into a
longing in a man whose life is spent
in public, says Harper's Magazine. He
quilted the Macomb house on the
morning of Aug. 80, 1890. The servants
were instructed to steal away at dawn,
to have the carriages and luggage over
the ferry at Paulus Hook by sunrise.
BY candlelight. Mrs. Washington, the
children and the secretaries assem- bled
in the morning room. The president
entered, pleased with his strategem.
He was enjoying in prospect his con-
cealed departure. Immediately under
the window suddenly struck up on the
still morning air the blaring, vigorous
notes Of an artillery band. From the
Highways and byways scurrying people
appeared. 10 witness his nrst step out
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03
CHAPTER XII,-( Continued. )

CHAPTER Kill Continued.)
Mona, my dear child, are you there?
Tho lamp Is very dim, Is 1t not? !
don't see you" called the sleepy voice
of Mrs. Heathcote, waking me from a
rapturous dream of wonderment and
=. And at the same moment the
ector entered, full of apologies for his
Tong absence. ..
II couldn't get away" he explained.
with quite unnecessary elaboration.
These poor things like to talk out all
their troubles, and they are very long.
winded. You can't cut them short
TO do that would be to ruin your repu-
tation for sympathy. Mona, my dear.
let Us have some tea, II you please. I
am afraid 1t Is the Deans tea-full OF
tpernicious tannin by this time. 1t is q
quarter to ten O'Clock" taking out hia
watch. "Why'-starins round him in
bewilderment-"what has become Of
the child? 1 could declare saw her
sitting there in her black gown when
Iscane in. What queer trick have my
eyes played me now?"
Branscombe has just left the
ROOM" said, coming to the front !;
land. Mrs. Heathcote--Mr. Heathcote-
will you both give me your good
wishes. I-we-I-that is-Miss Brans-
.combe- Nona-''
The Rector was staring at me open
mouthed as I houndered awkwardly
through my -reech. Mrs. Heathcote's
womanly instincts were quicker. l
saw it in her face, and. crossing over
to her side, took her hand in mine.
"She has made me the happiest fell
low in the world" / said. Wont you
congratulate me?" ''>
Is, s""rYou-you! exclaimed the Rector
rcd in the face with establishment, as
tho truth flashed upon him. 1.-THE
dickens; I thought 1t was that scamp
Charlie!
- $50 did l." could not help saying;
and then we all laughed heartily to-
kether.
s&'e Miss Elmslie came in in the midst OF
our mirth. Mr.. Heathcote fastened to
explain.
,'st my dear Miss Elmslie. have you
been as blind as the rest Of us? Here
has Fort been making his running
whilst we have been watching the
other horse"
do you mean?" asked she.
"That I am going to ask you to re-
ceive me into the family, Miss Elms'
lie" I put in. "Nona is willing to be
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03

failed. The father went to the store
and purchased two sets OF beads, one
green and one white, and in this way
only could he identify his twin babies.
These children grew up, and the one
that the father thought was Martha
married Hon. John A. Oliphant Of
Perry, Ok, we'll known in Kansas City
and Missouri. He was formerly city
attorney of Perry and is one Of the
best-known men in Oklahoma. Mary
married William Zimmerman, we'll
known wholesale whisky man of Kan
sas City,, The sisters are yet very
much ally 49,.
During r childhood days the
father, md other members Of the
family Co 2, tell one from the
other. IN stinguishing mark
had to b. them. and then
Mary was Dy her beads or dress
ana % Was Martha
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03
A Lighter Hand.

Now, Jimmy, did my whipping do
you any good" eyes, ma; it made
me feel real cheerful" Cheerful"
Eyes, ma; was so glad that pa didn't
whip me instead O. you"
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03

We will forfeit q. 900 II any of our publish
ed testimonials are proven 70 be not gen.
uine. THE PIsO Co., Warren, Pa.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03

Over 1000 vessels cross the Atlantic
Ocean each month.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03

A fountain in Buckingham Palace
spouts eau de cologne.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03

In India some of the bats measure
six feet across the wings. .s;.. ,.,;5s "a.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03

Ask For tho Best Reading.
Liberal religious literature sent FREH
on application to Mrs. Fl. D. Reed, 1a9
N. 3Sth ave-. Omaha, Neb.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03
"Duly Feed
Man and .Steed. "
Hla2a7

All the telegraphs and telephones In
Australia, and nearly all the railroads,
are controlled by the government.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1899-11-03

one should come out IN
The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1899-07-13

people will. At the same election that
it goes into practical effect, elect Il
new court
In the second place, the point made
against the amendment, IS not that il
violates our State Constitution-no-
body claims that-but that il violates
the 10Th amendment to the ConStitu-
ion Of the United States. Now i this
question. being 4 Federal question.
should get before the Supreme Court
OF this State. it's decision would moi
be any more binding or final than the
decision Of judge of the Superior
court is on question of the cOnStruc-
ton of j State law and only Il deciS-
ion OF the Supreme Court of the United
States can settle it. SO that if a case
involving the constitutionality of the
amendment can be gotten before our
State Supreme Court before the new
judges shall have been elected in 1902
and qualified. and the court should
decide against the amendment, its de
ciSiOn would amount to nothing, tn
less. upon appeal. the Supreme Court
OF the United States should sustain its
decision, which it will not, indeed.
CANNOT do unless it should reverse
its own decision in the Mississippi
| case, and disregard the overwhelming
arguments and reasons in favor Of its
constitutonality.