The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-12-03

Jokes Current in Besieged Cities,
ADropos of south African Events.

From the London Globe.
1t may be our roast beef, it may be our
Anglo-Saxon blood. or it may be our ma
tional light-heartedness, but the English
warrior refuses TO be depressed. If there
are any circumstanc calculated to induce
serious view of things, they are to be
besieged by vastly superior force in an
! unprotected town, to have your telegraph
wires cut, and to know that relief cannot
| reach you in many weeks. Yet, according
| TO the latest reports. Col Baden-Powell-
so affectionately abbreviated to 'B p
| is very cheerful at Mafeklng. When Cronje
proposed 4 surrender ''in order TO avoid
further bloodshed," he had asked when
| the bioodshed was going to begin" Being
reused from sleep by a messenger of the
| enemy he had promised ito let them know
when he, had had enough" Col Baden
Powell Is to be congratulated on his excel
| lent spirits. So, indeed, is Kimberley
where, while the enemy were counting
their dead outside, the victors went home
| and danced. This town also announced
| that one cooking pot had been injured aft
| er days commandment Both cases are
| pleasant variations of the "Don't-Speak-
| to-the-Mau-a al Wheel policy. When
the Wheel can crack a joke
with the tempest the passengers are not
likely to be doleful.
Neither "B. P" nor Mr.. Rhodes, how
ever, typical Englishmen as the are is the
inventor of this branch of humor. War
has always had a certain grim fun of its
own. Sometimes 1t is the besieger who
holds the best end of the joke. So long
ago as 1877 when King Edward III was be-
fore Calais, a letter fell into his hands
which had been written by John de Vienne
to King Philip describing the terrible
straits to which the town was reduced.
Edward at once forwarded the missive to
its proper destination. adding on his own
account a postscript recommending to his
majesty to hasten to the assistance of his
devoted and beleaguered subjects. The
royal jest was very much of the rough
and-ready Mafelxing texture. Indeed. Ed
ward III must have been a good monarch
to blockade. A few years before, at the
siege of Tourney, he proposed to Philip to
settle the issue by single combat, or, in
the alternative, by a fight between 100
picked men on either side. Can you not
imagine how 'B. Pr and his merry men
would welcome a bout of pure firsticuffs
with as many Beers as a final test of racial
ascendency?
There was a good deal of this sort Of
pleasantly during the Civil War, the cav
alters, as might have been expected, show
ing themselves the better testers. A little
slklrmish that happened at the siege of
Carlisle in 1916 would have delighted Du-
mas. The Roundheads held the town
stoutly, and were not to be drawn into
battle. But one day a certain Lieut..
Frisle, with handful of dragons, rode
across the stone bridge within pistol shot
of the wall and carried off some linen
which was drying outside the gates. This
dastardly outrage-for the Purltans were
always particular about their linen-was
too much for the garrison, who immedi-
atelA sailed forth to the rescue of their
garments There was q fierce little fray
which ended not only in the recovery Of
the shirts, but also In the capture of the
daring Frisle. AS a man of humor, he
would, no doubt, appreciate the joke II
his captors had had the wit to hang out
his own royalist shirt In Haunting defiance
of the beseiging host.
In America, one finds the same Anglo
Saxon knack of looking on the bright
side, and even, when there is no bright
side, of inventing one to look at The
| siege of Vicksburg, during the civil war,
was as depressing an experience as is
likely to fall to the lot of any modern gar
rison. Yet at least one officer was able TO
smile on an empty stomach. After the
fall of the town the following menu was
found inthe Confederate camp:
HOTEL DE VICKsBURG.
Bill of Fare for July, 1868.
Soup. Mule tail.
do ham, canvassed.
Roast. Mule slrIoin.
do rump, stuffed with rice
Entrees. Mule head, stuffed a la mode
do beef jerked la Mexicana.
do ears, fricasseed a la gotch
do spare ribs, plain.
do liver, hashed.
Side Dishes. Mule, salad.
do hoof, soused
do brains, a la omelette
do kidney stuffed
do tripe, fried
do tongue, la bray.
Jellles. Mule foot.
Dessert. White oak acorns
Beech nuts.
Blackberry leaf tea.
Genuine Confederate Coffee.
Liqueurs. Mississippi water, vintage 1892
superior, So.
Limestone water, late importa-
ton, very fine. $2.75.
Spring water, Vicksburg brand
$3.50.
Meals at all hours. Gentlemen to wait
upon themselves Any inattention on the
part of servants will be promptly reported
at the office fe,,
jeff Davis and Co.. Proprietors.
The man, must have been a relation OF
Mark Twain. For so high-sprited a neo-
PIE, the Spanish war was somewhat lack
ing in humor What there was, however.
encourages us TO look mainly to Cant.
Bob" Evans for scintillati- ms in the event
of futrue operations. His LANGUAGE is
stronger tran an English officer and ger-
tdeman would use, and his remark that the
Spaniards didn't hit damned thing hui
the ocean is boorish beside "B. P's'
courtesy, but he had the right point of
view
Sra'n has grown serious-that Is why she
was bf at last ye1r-but her hey-5ay fur
nishes one pretty instance of siege hum
or. 1t was during the attack on Ierida
by the Prince of Condo. The town was de-
Tended by fine old Spaniard known as
Don Gregorio. The Prince, flushed by the
successful campo gins of Rocroy and Fri
bourg, came to Lerida i'm an lmperious
Mood, and gave il out that he would mount
the trenches at he head of his regiment
on the f.ll0wing noon-day. Meantime this
was wedding custcm-he ordered his band
o. four and twenty lidders to strike up be-
meath the wal s. During the night Don