The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-03-09
MEDITATIGNS OF MR.. DUOLEY
On Admiral Dewey's Attitude Toward
a Presidential Nomination.


Presidential Nomination.
(Chicago Journal Copyright, 1897
Il wondher will Dewey r-run FIR
prisidint?" said Mr.. Hennessy. He'd
be tn gr-reat candydate. 1 dinnaw
! testant, but I'd vote FIR him."
No said Mr.. Dooley. Me cousin
George is not candydate. He don't
need tn job, an why shud he take it?
| Can We imagine, Hinnissy, cousin
George settin' in tn lap iv Hinky Dink
FIR to get nomynation? Can We think
iv him r-runin' around TIL country
smellin' w gasoline smoke an maxim
speeches in BricklayerS' hall? Cud we
get cousin George FIR to come out on tn
stoop iv his battleship to address a
obligation iv tn Suspinder, Salesman,
! Expansion, Home Market an Dewey
club? How'd he look in a photograph
with a copy iv tn Vermont PALLADIUM
in his hand an a pitcher iv his aunt
Name on tn wall behind him? How'd
he an me frind Macchew Quay get
along together thryin' to uphold tn
honor iv TIL naytional banlkin system?
How'd he keep himself r-right with tn
CORNER stone iv tn rappublic, tn
thrade in beef in tn can? An how'd
he hold tn German vote an lave it
live?
mo; cousin George is not a candy
date Divvle a bit iv it. A rayporther
ship, ilivatin' tn degraded Philippians
| higher thin Gilderoys kite, an says he:
Admiral he says, will We r-run FIR
prisidint?' he says. FIR what" says
cousin George 'F'r prisidint iv' tn
United States says tn rayporther I
see mesilf, says cousin George, pointin'
a long gun at church. see meSilf
nfv,g 70 hot hor lNtrt axroff tod
country, an gallopin' ar-round firm
wan precint to another nailin' dilly-
gates he says. L see mesilf,' he says,
as he shoots a thirteen-inch shell at
our former allies, 'tellin' TIL Naytional
Association iv Mannyfactherers iv I'M
| BANNED Beef that they're presaryin'
tn Traditions iv Washington an Lin
coln,' he says, whin they can't presarye
COW meat so that it'll last through a
hard winter, he says. Catch me sing
| in "They'se No Place Like Home" in
Boston, an, he says, '''They'se No
Place Like Home to Get Away Firm in
| Washington, he says. TIL tariff p
says he. Tn on'y jooties 1 know about
| is those he says, I owe to mesiif, to
paste yon small but fiery ruffyans,' he
says. TIL money question with me is,
! VIII l get tn salary that goes with tn
new job, or won't II? he says. I'm
here he says, an tn beauchous blue
| sky iv our happy colony is over me-
he says, an I'd rather have me fellow
citizens that is to be if they live as
marks FIR me- he says, thin to be a
mark f'r thin an tn likes iv them at
home he says. Say to tn good people
iv tn United States he says, that I'm
| dom well where ! am he says. There
! bein' nawthin' left on tn sea- he says,
I am pursooin' land operations on me
own hook, he says. I've just repealed
a cavlry charge he says, AN tomor-
row I'll have me ships thrained to climb
| threes an dhrive out sharpshooters,
he says. I'm tn boy orator iv tn Pa
! sig he says, an I'm maxim a speech
| ivry five minyitS, an ivry speech
gr-reat hit with TIL colored VOTE he
says. I recognize tn honor We, as a
/ representative rayporther, have offered
! to me- he says, but he says, L prefer,
| he says, that somewan else Shud have
| it,, he says. Besides he says, 'mebbe
/ if l wanted it l cudden't get it, he
says.
so there We ARE, Hinnissy. Cousin
! George will not come on here to adj
dhress you an other intilligint citizens
| like We firm tn back iv a dhray He'll
lave tn distiny iv tn raypublic to
other hands that can conthrol it tn
way tn man controlled tn balloon
whin he got caught be TIL anchor.
lie IL lave tn destiny " tn nation to
others, an see that tn shootin' iv tn
nation goes straight. Firm tn look iv
things, tn statesman can take a day
off FIR awhile an lave tn wurruk to tn
marksman. Cousin George will stay in
! tn Philippians an blow up tn en-
chantin' scenery an protect tn haugn-
| ty subjects iv tn Impror Willum an
Carl Schurz in tn mannyfacther iv
| liver wurst, an see that tn prisidint's
peace commissioners is not ct be our
enlightened brethren in Manila, an
Mack an nell stay at home, practisin'
tn arts iv peace an expandin' with
| cousin George as he goes along, SO that
tn bordhers iv our beloved country
firm day to day II be where his coat
tail flies in tn breeze. TIL United
States is bounded on tn east by tn
Atlantic ocean, an on tn west by cou-
| sin George"
After long pause, Mr. Hennessy
took his cigar from his mouth and re-
marked:
"He wudden't git tn German vote?"
NO said Mr.. Dooley; but if he
r-run. perhaps he wudden't lave thin
! vote"