Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-12-26
SPINNING WHEEL.

HOW'RE THEY COMM WITH YOU?
started round the other day,
To satisfy myself
How fast the general public
Was accommodating wealth.
Each individual [ met
| interviewed, YOU see.
So now I'll try and tell you what
Some of them told to me.
A shoemaker said he was '.pegging away"
lawyer was Lying low
A doctor was making his money dead
easy,
It's the truth-they told me So
butcher managed to make ends meat, y"
The iceman had struck a frost;
A plumber | met was hitting the pipe.
Poor fellow | guess he's lost.
A pickpocket was taking things easy
While 4 baker was ''loafing all day;'i
A grocer told me ia confidence
That things were going his weigh
A dentist was living from hand to mouth, :
And here, just to make a rhyme,
I'll have to ring in the jeweler.
Who was working, of course, over time.
A burglar said ..times were picking up.''
But he had to work at night:
And even a poor blind beggar said
He was doing out o. sight"
An oSSified man was having
An awful hard time he said,
While an undertaken told me
He was doing quite well-on the dead. :"
Said life went by like Il song
But u little soubrette l casually met
Was barely getting along"
An oil producer told me-
He managed to get long WELL
While Hebrew merchant mentioned,
He had clothing to burn or TO SELL
asked spiritualist how things were,
Just medium" he replied:
a barber said he ''scraping along"
And then cured up and died.
furrier ran skin game
Jockey was ION the go,
But it turned my head when a dressmaker
She was doing 'ssew and sew
Now pardon me if, in conclusion,
Of myself | mOdeStly speak
All I'm doing is digging out stuff like this
For thirty cents a week.
William Lord Reed in the Pitlsburg Dis
patch.
Il am sorry you are leaving your nice
house, said one city man to another. Il
hope you are not going entirely out of
the neighborhood?
No" returned his friend, I'VE were
going to leave this quarter, but events
have altered cases, and we shall stay on
at least for little time
Some particular event!
Yes; the girl next door has had to stop
playing the piano to read the war news
to her grandfather. '-Plck-Me-Up.
The repentant and badly-mauled bur-
glar who had been captured red-handed,
was opening his mind to the kindly pris-
on chaplain who had been most assidu-
Gus i'll cheering the injured man during
the ten long and dreary weeks he had
been laid up in the infirmary, says Ally
SlOper.
oh. yus, sir" he said; ''in corse
shall plead guilty when I'm we'll enough
to take my trial. / shall own up straight
and square, and throw myself on the
mercy of the court. All the same, sir
he continued. as he reached painfully for
the barley water and moistened his fe-
vered lips 'all the same. SIT, [ can't 'elp
feelin' bit of joss at the idea of being
set upon and knocked about like this ere
by middle-aged female It's bit rilin'
like you'll own, sir
All. but she was a brave woman, a
wonderfully plucky woman" said the
chaplain, admiringly. There are very
courage to attack a burglar Slngle-hand-
ed, and huge, brawny fellow like you,
too"
The battered criminal smiled tri1e
sadly. You're right, sir, he said,
there amt; and she wouldn't ave done
SO neither only she made a mistake when
she see me acrawlin' up the stairs in me
stockinged feet at in the mornin'."
"A mistake! Why, how was that?'' in
Quired the chaplain
''She took me for 'er bloomin' 'usband,
that's wot she did," was the disguised
reply. 'She took me for 'er bloomin'
husband and dashed me up afore she
found out 'er herror."
-:o:--
There was a baby born to Mr.. and
Mrs. G. L. Phifer of California, Mon
iteau county, recently, and Mr.. Phifer