Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-08-10
JAeE HAWKINS LUCK.

Il reckon Jabe Hawkins was about
the ugIiest man the Lord ever let
live" said Uncle Ben, as he medita-
lively whetted his knife upon his boot
leg. I've knowed strangers to foller
that man around for a half hour jest
to git another look at his face, an
then 60 right off an take drink Of
licker Seemed to kind Of give en-
relish for it. I've knowed fool women
to scare their children into spasm. by
threatin' to give EN- to Jabe, an they
do say he's been the cause o more
than one runaway. He was Jest pizen
ugly, an that's all they was to it. 1t
was a pity, too, because he was a
mighty nice man if you happened to
meet him in the dark, an he had
money in the bank at Maple Run, an
eighty acres of as fine bottom land as
ever felt plow
"Well, in spite o him bein so blame
homely that he dassent look a woman
in the face, this yere cuss was always
wantin to git married, but, o course,
they wasn't no way to git at it. He
advertised some in the city paper, an
writ letters to lots o women that way,
but he was honest to the core, an
when the thing got along fur enough
SOS they might anything come of it,
he always sent his photograph, an
that ended it. Oncet they was a
mighty likely widow from way back
East that got to hkin Jabe purity well
through his letter writin', an l must
say he was a good hand at that, be-
fore he sent his pickshur. After study
in over his linements for a couple O
months she made up her mind to come
on, anyhow, but when she ackshully
saw Jabe in the flesh she backed out
an married 81 Peters, an she made
him a mighty fine wife, barrin' the
fact that she had twenty-year-old son
that bobbed up after the ceremony an
turned out to be as shiltless as it's
possible fur a man to git an live.
"Then Jabe git desperit, an he up
an offers a hundred dollars reward to
anybody as will git him pardner.
But that didn't amount to much. Ole
bud Harris lowed he'd make his old
est girl, Mirandy, the one that had a
hare lip, jine him, and Jabe, KNOWN
his own Shortcomings, was satisfied to
git anybody most, but Mirandy took
epneptic fits an died before the we'd
din come off, and folks all around said
it was judgment on Dud.
Things was this-a-way when there
was hypnotizer come through Maple
Run an give show, an he asked for
people to come up on the platform an
be hypnotized. Everybody most was
afraid to go until Jabe made the break,
sayin' it didn't matter much what be-
come Of him, nohow, an then FIVE more
went up like they alluz do.
"Well, the mint this here hypno-
tier took hold O. Jabes head an tilt
ed it back to git a good look in his
eyes, he give funny little Jump an
says
al can't do nothin with you. Why,
man, you may not know it, but you got
more power than l have # YOU fix
them fine blue eyes o yourn on any
body they just nachelly have to DO
what you say.
Then he let Jabe 60, an made
Wash Diffns fight bumble-bees an
preten he was dog an do the most
outlandish things you ever heard Of
Golly it was funny, an be made
some o the others act up, too, but
none so much as old Wash, an the
next day he went away.
But be made mighty big change
in Jabe's life. Ysee up to this time
Jabe allus dropped his eyes every time
! he see a woman comm an women al
Ius looked the other way. But now
Jabe made up bis mind to try it, an
| looked, an all the women knowed
about it, SO they looked, an they found
out EN- eyes was mighty tine II you
looked at EN- so keen you couldn't see
the rest Of his face. They was mostly
scared, too, since they heard as how
Jabe was hypnotizerif if he only want
ed to be that-a-way, but, Of course,
that only made EN- look all the more.
First off, Jabe didn't have the sand
to look at the best lookin' girls, but
only the homely ones, an it WASH t