Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1899-01-19
THE JOLLY IRISH JARvEY.
A RoIIickiag Blade Who IL Never at
N Loss for "A WHY
Reply.

The Irish earman--or "the JarEey.
as be is styled in his native isle-en
ioys a wide celebrity as comical fel
low. Sometimes his hHmor is abso
lutely unconscious. He says the
quaintest things imaginable without
the slightest striving after effect, OF
the least intention Of being funny. But
oftenest he is consciously droil. lie
possesses rich fund of wit and humor,
a readiness in good humored retort
and mellihuous brogue which make
him an excellent travelling companion
on long drive.
A proprietor Of a hotel, overhearins
a car driver in Cork asking an eXor-
bitant fare of an unsuspecting foreign
er, expostula ted with him on his eNag-
gera ton of the tariff. concluding with
the reproof: Il wonder you haven't
more regard for the truth" Och, in
deed. thin. I've great deal more re-
gard for the truth than TO be draggin
her out on every palthrey occasion,
was the reply. The sarcasm Of their
rhetoric is, as a rule. deprived Of ito
sting by the quaint manner in which
1t is employed. very stout Dublir
citizen, whose trade was that of a
furrier, once offered a jaryey at the
end of o journey the modest sum OF
sixpence. us that all you're giyin'
me?" said the car driver, indignantly.
YES" replied the furrier, that's all
your legal fare, and it's all you'l get
from me, SO take il and 60" The jar /
VeJ, seeing il was hopeless 10 extract I
any more money from the furrier, and 1
determined 10 have Il out OF him some /
how, concentrated all the scorn and
contempt he could into his voice and
facial expression, and exclaimed
"Arrah, go lang out o. that, ye ould
boa constructor" The two-fold al
fusion in this retort so tickled the sub
ject Of il that he never let slip an op.
portunity of repeating it.
A visitor TO Ireland who engaged
car at the North Wall, Dublin, prom.
ised the driver two shillings six pence
more than his fare II be succeeded in
catching a certain train at Kings
bridge. This the driver failed TO do
but he claimed the extra half crown
"Sure it's no fault
Of me or me haste that We missed the
train, yer honor" be quantity argued;
it's all OWN to the lateness Of the
boat, and would your honor be 50
hard as TO punish me for that?"
just now there is a good story going .
he round Of the Dublin dinner tables
military officer who was passing
through the Tirah campaign was re
emily on a visit TO the Irish metropo.
is. He engaged a car TO drive him
rom the Richmond barracks TO the
'ildare street club, and on arrival al
is destination presented the driver
18th a shilling. Pat fixed his eyes at.
on the coin aud calculated
ciously: "Wisha bad luck to the
fradaysl" "Why ?" asked the officer
Because. thin they've killed all the
intlemen that fought agin EN-" The
ticer was so tickled by he remark
hat he promptly paid the double fare.
They can be sarcastic at times, these
ryeys. An English traveller com.
aimed at the uneyenness OF the roads
er which he was being driven
Irrah. sure, IL they wor any betthei
] import thin 10 England" was the
ady response. Some years ago the
rd mayor OF Dublin happened to be
exceedingly superior and fdgety
rson, who was enormously i'm
essed by the dignity OF the Office to
itch he had been elected for year
ie day his carriage was stopped by
ancient "four-wheeler," which i'm.
IDENTIFY turned round in Dawson
'eet, under the very shadow Of the
insion house. and thus checked the
ic dignitary's horses in their fiery
reer. An alteration took place be
cen the footman aud the driver OF
E cab, and the lord mayor. putting
head out Of the window. cried
ahony. take his number and have
n summoned" The jarvey. with
palling audacity, retorted: "Arrah,
in out o. that. We twelve months
sioerat," and drove of. The drivers
It the powers Of sarcasm on them
yes. a friend Of mine landing on Kill
ID pier, on bis way 10 Kilkee. gave his
gage TO one OF the dozen fellows mr.
o clamored vociferously for his pa II
mage. The others then began eiacu-
ions like these: MAY niver. If the
ltleman is not going with Feeney," ]
nix, he'll be in kilkee for break fast
morrow mornin' il no bad luck over.
es him." Och. Feeney. yer mother
little TO do when she rared the
s Of you" 'Niyer mind thin. sir"
ID Feeney TO his fare, "the divil has O. 8
d work 20 furnish these fellows -.
b lies. There's no, betther horse that
a purifier wan ,han mine in the nj mi
gdom. Wen be in Kilkee, sir. be-. That
: you're comfortably seated in the g p !,
Telegraph. As .