Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-12-11

M ERRILY ROASTED
What Happened to the Guests of the
Gridiron Club.
THE FIRST DINNER OF THE SEASON
A Delightful Affair That VIII Long
Be Remembered.
~ - ~ ~ -r,-
NEW OFFICERS ELECTED

The GridirOn Club gave its first dinner of
| the winter at the Arlington Saturday even
| ing. That II was most delightful and en-
| pertaining affair goes without saying, for
| no dinner given by this famous organiza-
| ton was ever anything else. But the af-
fair Saturday evening unique in many
! respects The assembling of Congress
| brought a number of new faces into the
| gathering. while recent events in the Phil
| ippines and in South Africa furnished topics
| for several most amusing special features
prepared and happily worked out by the
members of the club for the edification and
| amusement of their guests.
| The tables. in the shape of a huge grid
| iron were laid in the big banquet hall of
| the Arlington, which was brilliantly illu-
| minated and most magnficently decorated
| with roses and ported plants. 1t would be
| difficult to imagine more beautiful spec
tacle than that which met the eyes or the
| guests as they entered the hall to the IN
| spring strains of an orchestra Whlch was
| stationed in the balcony above the taples.
| General H. V. Boynton, the retiring presl-
dent of the club and one of its most de-
voted and beloved members, acted as the
presiding officer, and in offering the opening
toast. The President of the United States,
made a brief and most eloquent speech
The toast was drunk standing.
New Officers Elected.
Earlier in the day election of officers
had been held, when Nh. Henry L. West,
Washington Post, was elected president.
This gave an excuse for one of the fun
NEST performances of the evening-a fake
election on the Kentucky plan. In answer to
a query whether it was his intention to
run for another term General Boynton an
nounced that it was. Vice President West
then took the chair and called in the officers
of election They were attired In various
III, of nd nj loaded down
with deadly weapons and carrying large
bundles of ALE ged money-at least the gen
tlemen who impersonated Mr.. Mclean ana
Senator Hanna seemed well supplied with
the material for an active campaign. TINS
gave the real Senator Hanna, who sat at
the head table. an opportunity TO pass
few witty remarks rejecting on the judg
ment of these gentlemen lnaSmuch as all
their ammunition in the form of one
and two dollar bills-but then what people
say at Gridir0n dinners is never written
down. 1t may only be listened TO. remem-
bered and enjoyed for a long time after
ward
Result of the Count.
The outcome of it all was that General
Roynton was not satisfied with the results
of the count for Mr.. West only had 10000
votes while he had one. so he naturally
considered that he had been reelected. es-
pecially in view of the fact that his vote
was in his own handwriting, and ne called
upon the army and navy to eXpel the
Judges from the room. which they did
amid general laughter. However. MIR.
Vests election must stand and for the
next year he will preside over the destnies
of the club and people who are interested
in the welfare Of the organization viii not
lie awake o nights worrying about its
future.
To the Gridironers must be given the
credit of capturing one AguiualdO. hereto
fore active figure in affairs in the South
Pacific hereafter IN he ted
4 dociIe and loyal member of the club.
AGuinaIdo's Appearance.
During a temporary IuH in the proceed
ings. due to the appearance of particlI-
larry delectable feature of the menu and
a fresh relay of cold bottles there was
wild clamor outside the hall. and in mo-
ment in rushed a most remarkable figure,
the like of which has never yet been seen
this side of the Philippines. Still. every one
knew that 1t was 'Aggie" all right, for he
wore the now historic dog collar and
sported the famous silver whistle About
his slender waist was draped a garment of
grass cut after the most approved style of
the MISUNDERSTANDING to the would be
dictator of the Philippines
Mad-y he rushed about the room calling
loudly for his friends Mason and Atkinson
10 come to his rescue, and when he found
that they had deserted him in the hour of
need he sought refuge under the "groaning
tables. whence he was ignominiously'
hauled forth by Generals Wheeler. Mac:
Arthur and Lawton, who had followed in
tulI pursuit with drawn swords.
Claiming the Credit
This gave opportunity for Mai Gen.
Otis. armed with a mammoth blue pencil
and laden down with hundreds of censored
kilograms, to contest with this trio of mar
tial heroes the honor for the capture of
the Filipino hero. He ca mly rejected all
the reports of the capture and substituted
one OF his own, which he forwarded to
washington. announcing that THE army
unuer my command has the honor to Dre-
sent to the nation Aguinaldo the inslIreent
chief. as a Christmas present" Naturally
the other officers took umbrage at this
and Gen Wheeler at once annnunrad hiS
intention of throwing up the whole bnsiness
and returning to Congress
Asuinaldo was paroled on the con-
o!tion that hereafter he would link his
fortunes with those of the Gridironers and
wage war on nothing more worthy of his
steel than terrapin, Arlington style
When AguinaldO had had chance to re-
move his coat of dusky tan and substitute
dress suit for the decidedly undress suit
that he had worn II developed that some
mistake had been made and that the Fill
pino nero was only Mr.. Rudolph kauff-
mann OF The Evening Star recent 3D.
ditton to he ranks of the immortals. His
assumption of the part. however was
amply Justlhed by reason of the fact that
ne IKE tAsulhaIdo, has done most of his
Mrs. ARuInaldo's Underskirts.
Nothing could have been more character
| lstic of this unique association of news
paper men than the matter of the menus
When the guests sat down at table IT was
noticed that there were none A few min
utes later, however, huge barrel was
rolled In and from this were taken scores
oa miniature wooden barrels each marked
on top, Mrs Aguinaldos Wardrobe and
bearing on the side the inscription Con
signed TO the Gridiron Club Washington,
| ID C., L. S. A" Each barrel contained a
| coiored silk underskirt-doll size-on which
was printed a list of The things the guests
| We're expected to eat if they could get the
| Time between laughs. Eating and laughing,
| together, are supposed to add to ones adj
| pose tissue. so the tailors of Washington
| should not be surprised if they are called
| upon 10 let out the Wristbands of about
| hundred and twenty pairs of trousers an
| average of two inches per pair
| For there were other amusing features.
| News From South Africa.
| Not the least of these was a witty ROTOR