The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1899-06-22

Vi "oueu Iust ny your style
Mrs. Hornbill-'I don't wonder,
and me with this same old dress for
the last two years -
ENJOYED IT.
"How did you enjoy the banquet ?"
Great" answered the young man
with the red tie and yellow vest. II
got away with three spoons, a salt
shaker and n sugar bowl"
CURIOSITY.
Belle-Ned Grant asked me to go
driving with him several times at Bar
Harbor last year,
Nell-Did he He told me i'll the
spring that he was going to spend the
summer making study of c1quettes.
HER ANSWER.
isn't this the mGst delightful
weather you ever saw ?" excla med the
exuberant young man.
She tGrned upon him with that icy
manner. which only girl can COM
mand, and answered: Il never saw
any weather. My impression has al
ways been that weather is invisible.
THE GROCER COLLAPSE.
Greedy Grocer to farmers wife
who is supplying him with butter)-
This pun O. butter is over LIGHT
gudewife.
Gudewife-Blame yersel. then; 1
weighed it wi the pun o sugar ! gat
frae ye yestreen.
RAPID METHOD.
at seems to me that you have been
a long time writing that short note, !"
said Mrs. Winebiddle, who had been
waiting for her husband.
Eyes, my dear. 1 wrote it on my
new typewriter.
YOUTHFUL REVENGE.
"Oh, George Who opened the
canary's cage? 2"
Il did. You told me little bird
was whispering to you when l was
naughty, 50 i knew it must be him,
as there was no other little bird about.
So l opened the cage, and the cats
eaten him. That's wot he's got for
telling on me-"
A DIPLOMATIC BOY.
Johnnie" said the father, sternly,
'your school teacher writes me that
you do not behave yourself. "
"Yasser, replied the 10y. "She
says I'm as bad as You were, pop"
Whereupon the parent went up
stairs to enjoy the laugh over old
times alone.
HER METHOD.
Wife. Here are some household
bills, dear, that came in to-day.
Husband. it Why can't
you wait until I've had my dinner
Wife, was going to give you my
own bills then.
TOO INQUIsITIvF.
$50 he spoke of me-" said the
sweet thing who had something of a
reputation as a musician. "What did
he say ?"
'He said," replied her dearest
enemy, that you were never 50 at
tractive as when leaving the piano.
JOHNNIE KNEW
The superintendent of city Sun
day school was making an appeal for
a collection for a Shut In Society,
and he said:
"Can any boy or girl tell me of any
shut-in person mentioned in the
Bible ? Alb, I see several hands
raised. That is good. This little boy
right in front of me may tell me.
Speak up good and loud so that all
will hear you. Johnnie"
Jonah % shrieked Johnnie.
THE CAR WINDOW AGAIN.
Fuddy--You know how loving Tom
and Miss Kumfort were Well, she
has thrown him over.
Duddy-How did it happen?
Paddy Charley Titler, who also
has nm eye on Miss Kumfort, saw her
and Tom sitting i'll the ar as happy
as two turtle-doyes. He got woman
i'll the next seat to ask Tom if he
would please open the window OF
course Tom tried to comply and OF
coui Sc he failed mise rably. That was
too much for Miss Kumfort. Awoman
can't be expected to respect man
who has made himself ridiculous il
public.
Tuttimen ut HungerfOrd.
Two ''tuttimen' were elected III
Hungeford in honor of Hockney Day
After their election they visited every
house in the borough, and collected
coin from the males and a kiss from
the females. 10 every woman who
received a kiss an orange WAS present
ed. and in this way about four thol-
sand oranges and apples were dis
tributed
There are forty-seven Chinese tenn