The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1899-08-04
W. d. Howel,s!" "Pshaw.w was the re.
tort; "he.s no authority

w. d. Howellsw "Pshaw.w was the re.
tort; hes no authority"
Joseph Jefferson, some ten years ago.
spent week with a Scotch peer.
Among the guests was naughty and
brilliant lady, who made dead set at
quizzing him. He did not detect it at
first, and answered some of her alb
surd questions about America quite in
nocently. At last he saw her purpose
and determined to get even. His op-
portunity came when, emboldened by
her success, she said: "By the by, have
you met the Queen lately?" mo, mad
ame,' Jefferson replied, with perfect
seriousness, 81 was out when her Maj
esty called upon me'' She colored
slightly, and then turned away and
never spoke to him again.
Girard, the famous French painter
when very young, was the bearer of
letter Of introduction to Lanjuinais,
then of the council of Napoleon. The
young painter was shabbily attired,
and his reception was extremely cold,
but Lanjuinais discovered in him such
striking proofs of talent and good sense
that, on Girard's rising to take leave,
he rose, too, and accompanied his Wis
1tor to the ante-chamber. The change
was so striking that Girard could not
avoid an expression of surprise MY
young friend" said Lanjuinais, antici-
pating the inquiry, 1--WE receive an un-
known - L.:
we take leave Of him according to his
merit
Some amusing instances of Irish wit
are given in Macdonagh's Irish Life
and Character bad luck to them
Afraydees," said a Dublin carman
when an officer handed him shilling
after driving from the Richmond bar
racks to the Kildare Street Club.
"Why?" asked the officer Sure they've
killed all the gentlemen that was in the
army" The officer was so pleased with
the veiled insult that he doubled the
fare. why are Irishmen always laying
bare the wrongs of their country?"
asked some one in the House. BE
cause they want them redressed," thun-
dered Major O'Gorman. An Irish
NAVY on the Holyhead boat was COM
planning of his foreman. He'd not s.
a finger himself to lift red herring off
the gridiron, but he'd ask you to shift
the Rock O. Gibraltar
A reporter named Jones, on daily in
st. Louis, was detailed to interview
the Governor of another State, who
had slipped into the city on a secret
political mission. He learned to his
disgust that Jackson, the star reporter
of rival sheet, was on to the fact
and proposed to call in an hour. Acting
on inspiration, he sent up card bear
ing Jackson's name, and was promptly
admitted. When he had learned all he
wanted htasked, with gross and inten-
tional impudence, whether the infor-
nation was really true The Governor
turned purple. by question my
word?' he said. "Oh, don't get gayw
replied Jones, airily; common COVER
nors cut no ice with my Office" The
old man foamed at the mouth 'You in
solent scoundrel," he roared, ''get out
of my roomsw That was exactly what
Jones wanted, and he went Presently
Jackson showed up. Here, boy" he
said, pompously, "take my card to the
Governor" When the old man looked
at the pasteboard he nearly expired.
"The blankety-blanked infamous vii
lain" he spluttered; Il never heard of
such blankety-blanked effrontery in my
life! Tell that miscreant if he or any
body else from his Internal paper
comes up here I'll kill 'em!'' The word
was carried to Jackson, who went
away raving. Next day his paper init
mated the Governor was in town on
a bender. Jones paper had capita
interview and big Scoop