The leader., 1899-02-22

in no condition TO be satisfied with q
repast costing six and two-third cents.
Besides, just imagine three gentlemen
OF our standing going into restaurant
and ordering. in the aggregate, 20 cents
worth OF food-say, a sandwich, two
pieces Of pie and a cup OF coffee. How
could you divide that up among three?
Mac speak for the sandwich and
coffee.
Jim-Unfortunately, we left the
Alameda restaurant, managed by Mrs.
Hopkins, four days ago because OF the
diminishing circumference OF the buck.
wheat cakes. More unfortunate still.
we made a melod ra mat exit and told
Mrs. Hopkins that We would never re-
turn, hence II would be humiliatinR,
not TO say injudicious. TO approach Mrs.
Hopkins at this time for the purpose of
obtaining credit. As for the new place,
| cannot believe that we have sufficient
standing after only four days OF patron
age. Gentlemen, cit is condition
which coDfronts us and not a theory"
Barney-Hear! Heart
| Jim-We must and shall eat!
Barney-Applause and shouts OF
that's right"
Jim-In order that we may eat. we
must first get some ready money. I
take il that we cannot command credit.
either individually or collectively
Now, then. how to get the money? |
will tell you. We must pawn some
thing.
Barney-Pawn the lounge.
Jim-The lounge is not our property,
ard we will be honest, even in our ex.
tremity. | have asked the question:
What shall we pawn" and now | will
answer that question. We will pawn
! Macs watch. All those in favor say
aye" Aye.i
Barney-Aye.
Jim-Those opposed will signify the
same by saying mo"
Mac-No.
Jim-The "ayes" seem to have it,
The ayes" have it. We will pawn
Macs watch. For how much?
Mac-Not too much. l want to see il
again some time
Barney-Don't be afraid You won't
get very much on il.
Mac-lt hasn't been running for a
week.
Jim-Well, wind it up and set it and
then give it good hard shake just be-
fore you go into the place, so as to
keep it going until you get the money.
Mac-Gentlemen, object TO the ar
rangement. | am willing to provide
the watch, but would be deeply hurt
in my pride il had to go into pawn
shop and conduct the negotiations.
Barney will have to do that part of it.
Barney-1m rather proud, too.
Jim-lou will pocket that pride and
hypothecate the watch or you simply
do not eat. Well go with you as far
as the door and look at the diamonds
in the window until you come out You
can't expect Mac TO provide the watch
and do all the work, too. He has the
only watch which would be accepted
by discriminating pawnbroker, and
when he gives up that watch in order
to bring the greatest good to the great
est number, what more could you ex-
pect?
| Barney-What's the ma tier with your
going in with the watch?
Jim-I'm the one who invented this
scheme. Do not ask me to do both the
planning and the executing? Besides
what are your objections to going into
a pawnshop? You haven't any repu-
tation to lose. You've been in town
| only about three weeks. It's different
with Mae and me. We've been here a
year. During that time we've been
in society twice. Don't you see that
we're in position to compromise our
! selves? Is this your gratitude? We
| take you in out of the street and give
you a folding lounge and borrow
pillow for you, and then you, like the
snake warmed on the bosom of the
tender-hearted gentleman. would sink
your fangs into your benefactors! Is
| this
Barney-Oh, shut up. I'll pawn the
watch.
So they put on their overcoats and
went forth into the winter twilight
| Chicago Daily Record.