The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1899-04-05


OF the Zodiac. We are to take up the Scor-
pion, and l couldn't possibly miss it. Now.
as to advice. In the first place, / should adj
wise you not to marry at all. (Four aunts
and three urcles applauded that sentence)
But if your mind is set, for heavens sake,
take a man with means Our family has
always been respectable and all that, but
it is about time, l should think, that one
of us, or, rather, one of you, ought to get
man with means. OF course, l wouldn't
say a word against Thomas and William,
but you know that Judith will always be
% drudge and as for Emma-I'd rather be
dead than in her position. (Some of the
relatives, led by Aunt Sue, applauded Wig
orously. Emma and Judith looked as if
they wanted to cry, but as they knew
that Helen sympathized with them and adj
mired their husbands, they didn't leave the
room)
Nov, there is one thing more, Helen"
continued Cousin SuSanS letter You
speak of two offers of marriage. One you
say, is from a young business man. don't
want to hurt your feelings, but if, as l sus-
pect, you mean X. Y. H., l want to say
right here that you must not think of mar
rying him. Why, 1 should ignore the en-
gagement altogether and would never rec
ognize him as a member of our family.
Don't call him business man. He is only
common clerk. He hasn't any polish at
all, none of the finer feelings. He goes to
work every morning at eight and drudges
away until six. Why Nellie, he might
as wei carry tin dinner pail guess he'll
have to if he ever tries to support wife,
and just think of how you would have to
slave.
Give my love to dear Aunt Sue and tell
her that 1 received her pretty little booklet
on 'Didactics.' Thanking you for asking
my advice and hoping that l have helped
You, l am, yours sincerely,
COUSIN SUSAN.
"P. S.-Burn this letter Immediately"
General discussion followed the read
ing of the letters and Aunt Sue was the
first speaker. She said that her dear
niece and namesake had struck the
keynote of the whole thing and that
the relatives could not arrive at any
wiser conclusion than to decide in
favor of a man of means. She made a
long speech to that effect, and in I'M
consciously drawing comparisons and
citing horrible examples to be found
within the family circle she trod on SO
many toes, fguratively speaking, that
13 relatives who had gone to the meet
ing filed with ideas as to what Helen
ought TO do left the room without eX-
pressing them after declaring that
they would never return.
Following Aunt Sue one of the
uncles arose for information and
asked for the names of the young cler
gyman and the young business man.
Helen refused to inform him.
ut is enough for you to know she
explained, that they are both sincere
and respectable. 1 don't want to an
nounce their names, because it would
be a humiliating thing for the one who
is defeated in the balloting.
''Of course" she continued, meekly,
''you are not limited in your choice to
one of those two. You are all at lib
erty to nominate, and the additional
names will be voted upon"
One uncle who had not been inside of
a church for nine years, because the
last time that he had been in one, just
after row with his wife, the minister,
who didn't know him or the circum-
stances, had chosen for his text: What
the Lord hath joined, let no man put
asunder," declared that he was ready
then and there to vote for the young
business man.
A grandmother said that she would
like to know how Helen felt herself,
and began to talk about her own court
ship, but quickly subsidized when an
aunt snapped her up with point of
order to the effect that the feelings of
the chairman were irrelevant and inn
material.
''There is no motion before the meet
ing" said Helen.
''Then l move said Aunt Sue, chat
my niece marry man of MEANS
II would like to offer an amend
ment," put in an uncle, good deal like
his brother Joe, "a man of means who
has some brains and leart in him."
Aunt Sue contended that that was
understood, and that the amendment
was not necessary. She made long
speech, and then the amendment was
lost by vote of 80 to 16 The original
motion was then carried by vote of
3O-the 16 who had stuck out for the
amendment refusing to vote, and soon
afterward leaving the room.
'What do you mean by a man of
means, Aunt Sue?" asked the chair
man.
"Not one cent less than $1,000
year." was the reply.
All of the male cousins taat were left
gasped, and the married arnts, most of
whom could not take ice except in the
summer months, sighed. incidentally
there was another exodus of relatives,
leaving an attendance of only II. To
get out of an embarrassing situation
Helen said that there was 10 quorum
and declared the meeting adjourned
subject to the call of the chair.
Then she hunted up her two sisters