The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22
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to spell. Tomdik1I do am not look.
ing for information. but for corrobora-
tion.--Judge. -
Knicker-when / was alone with
Miss Smith in the parlor proposed. !
told her she was the light of my life
Bocker-And She Knicker-0h, she
went out.-Judge,
Mrs. Newlyrleh Kelly-Hav veg ever
read Burns, Mrs. Grogan z Mrs. Stillpoor
Grogan-Faith, and PLAT color would
burns be II they wasn't red. Mrs.
Kelly Harper's Weekly.
Hospital Nurse Ito mangled victim OF
aceldenD--I understand that the der
rick fell ten stories TO the pavement.
Mangled Victim tweakly)-l was under
that lmpresslon.-Wido
Bishop Gullem-Yes, indeed: am
happy to say our missionary work In
the Philippines has been most success
full. We recently made angels OF two
thousand OF them In a single day
Life.
Old Farmer-That's a fine lot OF pigs
over there. What do you feed them!
Amateur-Why. corn. Of. course. Old
Farmer-In the ear9 ,Amater--Cer-
tainly not; in the mouth.-chieago
News.
Have you an agreeable boarding
housey' Yes We have; every morn
Ing we have a cake walk" "Cake-walkf
What's thatYr why. the first man at
the table gets the hot ones.'-Detroit
Free Press. q
Friend-You told me you had Joined
the Audubon Society; yet your new hat
is trimmed almost entirely with birds
and birds plumage. The wearer OF tile
hat-Yes. but you see these birds were
all killed before Joined the society.
Teacher-John. Of what are your
shoes made? Boy-of leather. sir.
Teaeher-Where does lea ther come
from? Boy-Fromsthe hide OF the OK.
Teacher-What animal then. supplies
you with shoes and gives you meat to
eat? Boy-My father.
Seems to me I've seen your face be-
fore" said the Judge, peering through
his spectacles. .Yes. your honor. you
have" replied the prisoner; Il am the
professor who gives the young lady
next door to you lessons on the plano.
six years. CAME from the judge,
quickly.
Mrs. Greenleaf4Those people next
door must he from the West. Ar.
Greenleaf-Why Priscilla Mrs. Green
leaf When our chimney burned out
this morning the woman had the auda-
city to come and tell me that the house
was on fire. without waiting to.be in.
troduced.-Chlcago News.
Dude Ito barberl--How much do l
owe you? Barber-The same as you
usually pay, sir7 .Dude--I don't take
the trouble to remember what you have
charged! How much Is 1t? Barber
Twenty cents. Dude-0h, but you
have charged me only 10 cents before!
-Humoristische Blaetter.
The Cook (entering parlor) = All
mam'elle, wud We moind askin' the pro
fessor to play the hornpipe over again
The Professor (delightedly)-Ah! Re L.
dies admire vaire mooch' my composee
ton? The COok-1ts not that, begorra
but it's such an Elegant chune to chop
hash by!-New York Journal.
Bllllken-what's the matter, Will
ken? Wllliken-Mattere enough Yot
know, some time ago l assigned all my
property to my wife, toto keep 1t ou
of the hands of-of people l owe, yol
know. "Yes." Well she's taken tn,
money and gone off--says she won't liy,
with me because | swindled my credit
ors."-New York Weekly.
sunday-school Teacher wishing Il
show how easily George Washington
might have falsified)-Now, children
little George didn't know but that he''
he severely whipped by confessing tina
he had chopped down the cherry-tres
What might he have done in order :
keep peace with his father? Patsy
Buried the Ratchet, mum.-Judge.
At last, after many dangers. sine ha
brayed the terrors of the Chilcoot Pas
and had rejolned her lover on the Klor
dixie. Are you glad to see mef sh
asked. do you still think Fam wort
my weight in goldY' "Tn gold!'~h
cried contemptuously, as he folded he
to his frozen bosom. MY darling, yo
are worth your weight in dit
Bits. By
Landiord-Is everything all RICH
about the place? Tenant-Yes; every
thing seems to be In pretty good condi
ton. acknowledgements and waite
Ok? Tenant-Yes, as far as know
Landlord Um-er dc you think of NOV
ing? Tenant No; whyY Landlord
You haven't asked for any repairs TO
nearly three works now, and l can
understand it.--chicago News.
Counsel-What is. your age, mad
anne? Witness-For ty-seven, SIR. Cour
sel-Marrled or single? Witness-SiH
gle. never had an offer OF marriage Il
my life, and IL 1t is of interest to tn
court l don't mind saying that | hav
worn false hair fornearly thirty year.
Counsel-Hem. That Is all, madAE
There is 10 use In trying TO shake -
direct testimony Of SO truthful . wsu
an as you are.