The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-02-09
NEVADA

-<e<seN1s1e~~0e~--(
Mondeau-Does he write for money!
Bonyeau-Yes. but his pa doesn't re-
spond. --Up-to-Da
Quipps-"You should see the girl I'm
going to marry-shc's bird Phipps
Il heard she was a high-fyer. =
Town Topics.
Papa" said little Johnny. They're
not In IT." "What are not In it. my
boyg' why, the other twenty-four
letters OF the alphabet"
Anthor-I always test my poems by
reading them 10 my wife. Friend-Ah,
yes-and you use those she likes? Au-
thor-No; those she doesn't.-Tit-Bits.
He-Do you know when you get a
bad coin? She--why. certainly. do.
He-How do you know? She-Why.
the man l offer II TO refuses TO take 1t.
Wife Ito her husband)-I say. my
dear how badly the tailor has put this
button on your waistcoat This is the
fifth time | have had TO sew 1t on
again.
Those folks next door must have
bought that house." "What makes you
think SOP Il heard her seoldlng the
maid for driving picture nail into the
plaster"
Trlyvet-What makes you call Miss
Tenspot new woman? | haven't no.
tlced anything forward about her.
Dicer-She keeps her engagements to
the minute.
Papa-Well. did the photographer
succeed in making the baby look pleas
anti Mammn-No: the baby succeeded
In making the photographer look un-
pleasant.-Puck.
Percy-Bradford uses a lot OF per-
fume. Doesn't he know that It is bad
form? "Well, it's a sort of family pride.
You know he comes of old colognlal
stock. The Widow.
Now, Bennie. here's the medicine,
and here's the dime papa left to pay
you for taking It" "All right. mamma.
II you take 1t and don't tell. I'll give
You half."-Harper's Bazaar.
DE Wltte-Queer about Welsh rare
bit. The acting cook--What Is queerT
De Wltte-The girl who makes 1t al
ways says 1t isn't nearly so good az the
one she made the other nlght.-Puck.
IL was Mr.. Justice Maule who said,
in answer TO witness who declared
that he had been welded to the truth
from infancy: Yes. sir: but the que,I-
tion is-how long have you been a wild.
ower?"
Mlnnle-What frauds these beggars
are. met "blind" man, who said,
"Please give me a penny, beautiful
ladyy Mamle-Yes. he said that to
make you think he really was blind
indianapolis Journal.
Mrs. upjohn-our minister Is a high
ly learned man. | believe he knows
every word in the dictionary. Mrs.
Downleigh That's nothing. Our
preacher uses lots of words that amt
in the dictionary at all.-Chlcago Trib-
une.
1T Is very nice In your wife to buy
cigars for YOU" remarked one man.
Yes" replied the other, after some
consideration. ''lt's a delicate and con-
siderate way Of keeping me from spoil
Ing her lace curtains with tobacco
smoke"
Three different walters at an hotel
asked prlm. precise little man at din
ner II he would have soup. A little an
noyed, he said TO the last waiter who
asked the question, rs it compulsory
NO, SIR" said the waiter; 81 think It's
mock turtle"
young man." said the young wom-
ans father, you have boosted several
times that you possess an honored
name" Yes, SIR" replied the foreign
sultor, haughtily. well, may inquire
what bank 1t win be honored at and
for how muchT"
Mrs. Suddenrich-What awful nice
spoons them are! Dealer-Yes, madam;
they are our very latest designs. Mrs.
s.-Are they to eat fruit with? Dealer
They are souvenir spoons, madam.
Mrs. S.-Glmme dozen. Our new
French cook makes elegant souvenir.
aistress-w Why, Bridget, you surely
don't consider those windows washed :?
Bridget--Sure, washed 'em nicely on
tue inside. mum. SO We can look out;
but | Intentionally lift thin a little
dirty on the outside so thin aignorant
Jones children mkt door couldn't look
in.-Truth.
"a man has to keep his eyes open to
be politician nowadays" remarked
one statesman. Possibly that Is correct
as a general principle" replied the 9TH
er, "but II you had looked around at
your colleagues while you were making
that last speech of yours you would
have had your doubts"
"Pve done my best" said the Indian.
ITO adapt myself to the modern clvili-
cation. But | can't manage It," You
go about 1t in the wrong way" an
swered the sympathetic white man.
when you feel that old Impulse for q
Wild collision with somebody what you
want to do is TO come of the war path
aud get on the bicycle path"