The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1899-04-08

which may be very mucn aiVe anu III w
need of interment, says 'Harper's Bazar.N'
1t is a great pity that that is so, or SO
nearly so as it is, since for many persons
who have lost their mates prematureiy
it is far better to find a new one, II that
is possible, tina to go through life alone.
Successful marriages, though traditlon-
ally made in heaven, are made for use IN
this world, and when We are able TO con-
suit the celestial records WI shall find that
second marriages make a handsome snow
ing there. That a man once domestlcateo
and Injured to petticoat influences should
be left while still young to drag out ex-
istence unprotected and unconsoled, is a
condition Of things that is abhorrent to
nature. If he has young children and IS
a mere ordinary man, he needs help; II
he has no children, there is still more
reason for him to make provision for his
future. The case is not much better Tor
young widows, unless they have children
enough to give them an object IN lie,
and income enough to maintain them
during its attainment. Not even the inn
mense labor of assimilating a new
spouse's relatives, appalling as 1t is,
should hinder second marriages which are
suitable and merely wait the cooperation
of parties who are disposed to consent.
There IS some prejudice against step
mothers and step-fathers, but it is not
very deep. A woman good enough to be a
good wife commonly makes a good step
mother, and a good mancommonly makes
a good step-father. There is nothing in
the relationship which need be too great
a trial forf ordinary human virtue. One
reads of harsh step-parents in story books
and sometimes in the newspapers, and 1t
is undeniable that they do exist, but l
never knew a s~tep-mother who caught
her ~step-children young enough who did
not mother them well and low them truly
and win their affection.
What objections there are to second
marriages are almost exclusively senti-
mental, and turn on this natural unwill-
ingness to bury a memory But OF course
a sentimental objection is a mighty in
fiuential thing, and very hard to cope
with when it is strong. 1t is d pity about
this one, for sometimes it makes mischief.
There is the case of the young widow
Mead, so admirable and charming a per-
son. and yet so imperfectly suited to
fight the battle Of life without daily help.
She was bern to be Il Wife, hat woman.
She would be twice as useful in the
world, and many. many times happier il
she could bring herself to replace Henry
Mead. But it is Ndoubtfui if she ever
does. She loved him dearly, and 1 fear
his shadow will always be dearer to
than any other mans sunshine. L can't
think he would wish it to be so. He was
a man of excellent sense, and l oniy wish
she could have his counsel in this mat
ter. 1 am sure he would not let her
turn away a man whose love might
brighten her life because a man who had
frightened it was dead. 1t would be far
easier for her, and for whatever good
man may happen to De counting her at
this time, if there was less of this repre-
hensible feeling that makes 1t seem
doubtful manners to discourse with the
remarked about their previous mates.
1t. is a limitation that a little strength
of character may rise above. 7 shall
never forget that after Robert Wade had
died, and left his young and childless
wife a pile of money as high as a hay
stack, and after she in due time had mar
ried again, how I met her one day in
company, and she, remembering me, but
not quite sure, asked Horace Brace,
whom | was with, if I was not "a friend
of Robert 1t made me feel that she
hadn't buried any more of Robert than
she could help, even though she had
given him a successor, and I liked it in
her.
The man who leaves the breakfast-table
and enters the public ways with the
~ q 49, = n ~ A. onL Ito l..
which he has contended for his own side
of the question. refusing to yield his point
to the every last, says the 4Woman's
Home Companion, will not be likely to
wear the appearance of a knight: and if
he has submitted meekly to injustice, and
has felt CONSCIOUS of being misunder
stood, if he has the smallest germ of
manhood in his nature, he must writhe
under the treatment, and cannot step
like a condueror or go forth with the
courage necessary to win great things in
the world. Such a one must wear the
look of the vanquished, no matter how
strong his original purpose for true
service.
And what often makes the condition
more pitiful is the fact that the husband
is large-souled. willing to give more than
he receives, ready to make sacrifices of
his own ease, pleasure and comfort gem
orally while trying to serve his. precious
purpose for a future fulfilmeht. Though
he closes his eyes against The signs of
~selfishness in the woman whom he chose
as the fairest and sweetest and best he
cannot but feel the awful despair of de-
feat, all on account. of the fascinating, |
unprincipled woman whom he took to
share his life.
The woman who can thus bring defeat
to a high-souled, unselfish man is the
vampire" that has been portrayed with
such unerring skill by Kipling, and many
a poor victim of a narrow-minded wife
might recognize it in his own expert
ence:
Oh, the toll we lost, and the spoil we lost,
And the excellent things we planned,
Belong to the woman who didn't know
why
(And now we know she never knew Why
And did not understand.
And it isn't the shame, and it isn't the
blame
That stings like a white hot brand;
Its coming to knew that she never knew
why
Seeing at last she could never know
And navar cn,,ld -1nderstand