The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-12-14
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Tommy's guess.
He-lf she Is girl of ideas, as yol
say, why does She conceal lhemi Sh,
She wants 10 get married -I.ife.
Nlaud-Do you like 10 have men fiat
ter you? Ethel-Oh. | don't mind. II
they happen to be photographers Ba-
Ear.
Good man-Do youskfi6w wheFe LITTLE
BOYS 90 that smoke cigarettes! Bad
boy-Yep! Dey goes ont IN de wood
shed.
Landlady-Isn't this good chicken
Boarder-It may have been good
chicken morally, but physically II was
q wreck.-Judge.
II suppose you have become pretty
thoroughly familiar with golf by this
time" Familiar with III Why. sir,
think in golf.-Chicago Tribune.
A Literary Pursuit,-Hoxey- That
young chap In The golf suit writes for
a living The Lady-For the maga-
zlnes-l Hoxey-No; mostly TO his ia til
er.-Life.
Browne Waiter. bring me dozen
oysters on the half-shell. Waiter-Sor-
ny, sab, but ives all out of shell-fish,
sab. 'ceptin' aigs-Rochester Union
and Advertiser.
IL wish 10 see some of the current
magazines. please" Current maya
a faf t.l,r Lob hnt
lady the Electric Spark and the
Storage Battery "-Ex.
Long before met you I had heard
1f your family said the count. Yes
replied the beautiful girl. coldly; Il
believe papa is quoted.in Bradstreets. >
Chicago Evening Post.
"Clementine, what did you do with
that curtain goods YOU bought last
week. well, 1t was entirely TOO gay
aud loud for curtains, so | mad a shirt
waist Of lt.n-Chicago Record. i
Yes" said the excited man. "he
tried 10 act the hog and treat me like
4 dog. but soon showed him he was
playing horse with the wrong man
when he monkeyed with'me"-lndian-
apolis Journal.
Don't touch me-" said the chrysan-
themun, as il leaned away from the
rose. Il would be foolish to attempt
IT," replied the rose: It's Il well-knOwn
fact that you haven't got SCENT.
chicago News.
Blew Himself. OF BENTLEY How
did Larkins meet his death: When We
left him last night he seemed unusually
jolly. Vos1iurgh-He tried TO blow out
The electric light In his room and burst
a blood yessel.-Harlem Life.
Aeronaut-I'm going to Philadelphia
next week to give "A balloon ascension
and want some handbllls printed, New
York Printer-Yes. slr;.hoM would .this
do?-"Profess0r Parrysho0t VIII rise
from the dead al 4 30 sharp -Puck.
"I'll tell you" said Sammy Snaggs,
that man talked straight from the
shoulder" Samuel" said Mr.. Snaggs.
severely. you should not use slang
But, father, this was deaf.aa d umb
man. and he used the sign language"
TELL Mr.. Cuthbert I'm out Il haf
alreaty told him madame is In. Then
say when you came Upstairs you found
Tue OUT But, madame he alreaty
says he has found you out. and "a /, is
Wy he must see madame. '-Pici, Me-
Up. 49,
Mrs. Unsofist-They say that the
Minneapolis can steam twenty four
knots an hour Mr. Unsohst That's
pose they steam them so that the poor
sailors can unite them more easily,
Brooklyn Life.
Weaving a spell: He-I am rather in
favor Of the English than the Ameri.
can mode Of spelling. She Yes?
He-Yes. indeed. Take psrlour. for
Instance; having u in 1t makes all the
difference In the world Boston Chris
tlan Register.
eMr.. White" said a lawyer to d wit
ness lin, the box, lat the tlIpe these
papers were executed you were speeu-
latipg, were you notl'' Yes, sir
You Were in oil?" Il was" And
what are you in nows'i Bankruptcy, -
was the solemn reply.-T1t-Bits.
Guest attempting to carve) What
kind OF chicken Is This, anyhows:
waiter-Dat's gesiuine plymouth
Rock, sab. Guest thrqwiag up both
hands, THAT explains It. knew she
was AN old-timei. but had no idea
she dated back to the 'Nfayfiower.
Goodness Well miss the opera,
she said, lmpaiiently; we've beer
waiting a good many minutes for thai
mother 'of'mine." Hours, | should
say" lie replied. somewhat acrimonl
ousIx. -onrs?'' cried she, rapturously
'.oh. George. this u 50 sudden rher
she fell upon his neck STANDARD
Times.
Widow Jackson Wy. 1t was like dl'
way. parson. My husband went up OF
de hill top TO pray for rain and go
struck by lightning. Parson JohnsoI
But yo' mustn't lose faith in prayer
sister. Widow Jackson lcompIacently
Oh, no. -parsonI Dat proves de Lore
do answer prayer. Not always In d.
way we ask for it, but IN way datl
be hest for all hands. Judge.