The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-03-22
A REAL PRESS.
Gram Is Going To Have
One, Sure Enough,

People who chance to soc the Only
Yellow newspaper in Worcester these
days, may have noticed that the
Gram Is going to have a new press
Most newspapers are published on
presses, and tho Gram is the sole con-
Germ that has contrived to putter along
all these'years with only g. sludge ma
chine. But all the patient tinksrtng Of
the past in the way OF holding tne
thing together has at last failed. Tbs
use of bits of rope, old nails, sticking
plaster and similar contriyances to
keep it from falling over are in vain.
and new press iS certainly coming.
You may not ind much news in the
Gram, but you will hear ALI about that
press. A dozen or 30 of freight trains
are fetching it, and 1t is actually goirrg
30 be set up The refined and kind
hearted proprietor Of tho Gram 10 an
authority on Setting 'em up," and
What he says on such a theme should
be held in due respect He says n pit
has been dug for the press. but any
continuous reference to the pit. In view
Of his hereafter, is 80 unpleasant tbss1
he hurriea on to add that the hnla has
been filled with cement. This Ia rather
the usual thing in putting up press
but it Is loudly smphasizad In this
case. perhaps lest the pubhc, by reason
of the record and character OF tha pa
per, might think the machine was go
ing to stand in mud.
We are told the thing Will print tn
several eolors. This, after the soma
what trying season of yellow that the
city has endured from the Gram, may
be a relief 1t Is further claimed that IL
will be capable of running of $4,000 pa
tnla
Gram TO print its regular edition fn
six minutes. 1t will have wheels too,
though hardly as many as buzz in IT'S
putative owners head. Then thare Will
be rollers, though no such high poli@rs
as the amiable Mr.. Crsty and his hooe
keeping friend are said to be when on
visit to New York. In this oonn@o-
ton 1t may be observed that there m
probably no truth whatever in Che
story that the first time the forEn@s
ever went to New York they had bO
blindfold and back him into an elASasaor
In order to get him up to bed.
Meanwhile, until the new press Is
really running and even aftsrwarda.
the oourtly Cristy can be counted upon
to rage and froth at The Spy. A ragu-
lar howl of at amt So" at some ep-
elusive and unquestionably aOcuratm
piece of news in The Spy, and dasdrtr-
tons Of that new press, are daily Ger
tainties for readers of the Gram. ana
that is about all they can expect 10 nnd
in the queer example OF SIDE hin jour
nalism in question. Even tho ocCas-
sional statement Of any ordinary Rnd
obvious proposition In these columns In
enough to give Crlsty the rabies. Ar6
it is hardly safe for The Spy to remark
that summer is warm, winter cold. or
that the sun rises in the east. Ii Batds
it is at the peril OF seeing in the Gram
next day, worded in the fine English
Of that dainty sheet, a roaring contra
diction Statements like the subJoinen
may be expected at any future timex
The Spy: 'The world is round
The Gram: mo such thing"
The Spy: christmas comes but
once year."
The Gram: That's another fake Of
the Morning Wreck
The Spy: Grass is green and Cristy
yellow"
The Gram, "A twenty -one-cents-
on-the-dollar daTned lie"
The Spy: Water does not run up
hill"
The Spy. Worcester IL a. iine city"
The Gram Whoever heard such
rut?"
The Spy; "Two and two make
four"
The Gram: The Spy rs dead wrong
again. Wait till you see our new
press
The Spy: THE Gram is a good
paper"
The Gram: mo it ain't-goshl Wait
a minute-yes It's. too"
However, there ifs no doubt going to
be a new press in town The Only