Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-10-04

"How's your fat?" Fine, When
We moved IA nay wife had TO lend hal
plano"
Miss Huges-My face IS my f.rtune.
Percy Simmons Did you--ef--amass II
yourself;
"She says she'll never. never marry."
"She must have been looking at herself
in the glass;
Maud Is not going away" "Sick;'
"No; she can't find tan shoes 10 match
her new leather satehel"
My only request was for Miss Pret-
tymans hand" "WellT My sole AL
swer was her fathers foot"
The editor-Such stale jokes. I'm
sick Of mother-in-law talk. The hu-
morist-Ah, sir, have you one TOO:
Mrs sm.the wonder why old CHI
ma Is so rare and valuable. Mrs. De
Jones Why, | thought you kept ser
want.
Pearl--Did you see that shark they
advertise down at the beach, Ruby
saw the hotel landlord, II that's what
Denny-rTh' gur-rul thot Oi marry
must be loike foine silk. Nora-.An'
how is thot? Denny shrink whin
II comes to washing. rth
WabashAre you fond OF repartee
Miss Olive? Miss Olive lof ST. LouiO
No; l wouldn't give one cup OF coffee
for all the tea | ever saw
She-What did papa say? He-I
asked his consent 10 our marriage by
telephone. and he replied, II don't
know who you are, but It's all right"
Jinks--l want to get warrant for
that circus manager. Magstrate-OD
what grounds? Jinks On the circus
grounds. There's where the trouble be-
gan.
Weary Walker Some fellows IS hogs,
earth. Wayworn Watson--Me nuther
Three -fourths of de blamed thing Is
water.
"He offended Miss Oldg.rI unpardon-
ably" How did he do itT' why,
when she asked him what she should
Last Hope"
| Dedbroke-I hear you called on the
lady's father last night. How did he
like your suit? Harduppe-Yery much
| think. He kept half the coat collar
when left. asass3
Cousin Lucinda wants to go down
stairs aud see a man about taking her
trunk to the station" When is she
going homer A week from next
Wednesday"
.No, sirr she exclaimed emphatic
ally, NO living man shall kiss me."
We'll ] don't mind confessing,' he re-
piled. that many of my friends eonsid-
er me a dead one"
"She's dear. dear girl said the
fond mother, glaneing approvingly al
her daughter. Yes. she certainly ls,"
said the father. glancing disappearing
ly at her dressmaker's bill.
Johnny called the Throop street
lady, run around TO the cigar store
and see IL the scores ia yet" Pm sur
prised." remarked her visitor, "to see
you take SO much interest in base ball.
Say, captain asked passenger,
how far are we still from land z"
About two nautical miles answered
the captain. But We can not see land
anywhere. In what direction does 1t
lie?' Straight below, sir"
Mr.. Stubb-There comes Fortune"
Mrs Stubb-Who, John: Mr.. Stubb-
"Fortune," the female book agent.
Mrs Stubb-Why In the world do you
call her "Fortune:" Mr. Stubb-Be-
cause she knocks at every mans door.
don't even understand the game"
"Neither do |, dear. but you see want
TO ask George for little pin money.
Ii the Chicago team won III ask him
the minute he gets In the door. If they
| lost, III ask him tomorrow. OF maybe
the day after"
"How Is it that you and Jones haven't
spoken for yearsi | can remember Q
when you We're inseparable friends"
I'VE agreed TO correct each others
errors Ia grammar. At the end of the
third day the same house would not
hold us both and we have never be-
come reconciled sinee.' -
Great Scottn' cried the overheated
man, Il could smash that thermome-
ter" 81 thought you had more respect
for old age" yentured the man IN the
French flannel suit. "Old age? What
has that 10 do with II, young man:"
why sir can't you see that thermom-
eter Is In the nineties 2:
~ can't help feeling sorry for the
farmer" said the young man who owes :.
for summer board. ''Why:" inquired
Mr.. Corntossel. abruptly. Because
why-er-because his back is bent with
toll" "Mebbe you're right. Mebbe It's
harder to bend your back with toll than
It IL to bend it rldin' bicycle. And