The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-06-18
FUNNY SLIPS OF THE TONGUE.
Some Transpositions of Words That
Made Remarks LaughabIe.

Some Transpositions of Words That
Made Remarks LaughabIe.
From Mainly About People
A Fashionable congregation was once
| startled by hearing the reverend gen
| tleman announce that they were about
| to sing Hymn No. 36S-From Iceland's
| Greasy Mountains" After this they lis
tened with equaninity when they were
| reminded that they should not covet
| their neighbours house, nor his 'oss, nor
his axe" Preaching before a varsity
congregation on the queens diamond
| jubilee. he remarked, impressively:
Now, my brethren, you have queer
dean. a very queen dean, a very queer
dean indeed"
As it was widely known that he had
recently a serious difference with the
dean of his college, the slip was in
tensely enjoyed.
The same reverend gentleman once
assured his hearers that they all knew
what it was to have "a half-warmed
fish" within them. "A half-formed
wish he meant. On another occasion
he referred to bon the BAPTIST" Feel
ing dimly that there was something
wrong he tried to correct matters: mo,
no; mean the BAPTIST Bon!'
Another dear old college gentleman
had occasion to reprimand an under
graduate who had wasted two consecu-
tive terms in youthful follies. After lee
turing the delinquent severely in his
queerly high-pitched voice, the dean
finished by saying: II am sorry, to
have to speak so severely to you, but
| am credibly informed that you have
| broken many rules of the college; you
have been incorrigibly lazy, and, to cap
| it all, you have deliberately tasted two
worms!"
Are you fond of music. Mr.. -"
yes" was the divine's answer, "but
| don't know very much about it. I don't
| think l have very good ear; in fact,
| the only two tunes / really know well
are God Save the Weasel and Pop
Goes the Queen!' "
What will you have?" was once ask
| ed of a nervous clergyman at a we'll
| spread luncheon table. as the time came
| for the second course. Thank you"
murmured the embarrassed cleric, with
| his eyes fixed on a seductive strawberry
cream in front of his hostess, II think
I will have little of that stink puff"
And this reminds one of another din
ner tale. The stage was dessert. Hos
tess: What will you have, MIR. Jones
There are nuts, oranges, figs" Mr..
| Jones: Pigs, feast
At the licensing session held in a GER
tain west country town recently The
chairman, dealing with the statutory
his expressions a little mixed, referred
to it as being three miles as the flow
cries. " A limb of the law who was en-
gagged in the case ventured to correct
his worship. With differential smile
this exponent tried to amend the
phrase: Your worship means as the
fly crows'-or, rather" he added has
tily "as the cry f1ows!'" No one was
sufficiently rash to make a further at.
tempt.
1t would not be fair to mention trs
name of the modern Mrs. Malaprop
who recently made the quaintest faux
pas. The conversation turned on d
Forthcoming fancy dress ball. to which
all the house party was going. She was
asked what dress she proposed TO wear
I'm having a dress copied from an ole
French print. It's the period of ths
revolution. The picture is one of Mara
being murdered in his bath by Char
lotte Bronte!" 1t would have been mos1
impolite to correct her, and no one ever
knew whether it was mere Ignorance
confusion of ideas or absence of mind