Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-11-02
PAW ON THE TRAIN.
GEORGES DAD, AS USUAL, GETS INTO
TROUBLE.
And Makes Matters Worse by Acting
In Way That Nv Decidedly LIKELY
to Arouse Suspicion From the Most
InsOnhIsticnteL penpIe.

After me and paw and the Pup Had
Lived on paws COokin -Four days paw
says:
"Wcll, I amt agoin to Put up with
This Outrage emmy Longer. 7 Bin NJ
aginst some Cold propposishens in my
Time, and | was Run over by a Skorch.
pr Wunst. But this here Thing of Bein
left to S,arve by Hairless Womun
while She's away eaten Fritters and
frosted Cake three times a Day is Lit
tie Bit the Worst Thing that ever hap
pened to me- and it amt doin my sistem
Bit Of Good"
1t tutched my Hart TO Look at paw.
He had a sad countenunce and about At
Greece Spots on his Business SCOT. Tho
pup was the only one what Seemed 10
Git along all rite on Paws cooken Becoz
he wasent brot up to be pertckler about
his Vittles and got most OF the stuff paw
cooked for Me and himself
So paw Sed we was agoin to Go and
Git nav and Little Albert and the next
Day we went on the Three o'clock trane.
We got the Rawsons to keep the pupp
till we Got Back, and when we come out
Of the Deepo after paw Bot His ticket
the pupp was thare Lookin mp in paws
face and Wageen His tale Like il the
joke was on SOtueDuOly else.
Blame that Dawg" paw says. III |
Had n Club thay would BE a mock out
rite here in One Round. and it wouldn
be no Chance blow neither"
But the trane come along in about
mint and paw GRABBED the pupp when the
Conduckter was Looltn the other way
and we got in. The pupp lade Down
under the Seat and Keep purity quiet TIL
I. 30 h.,
the conduckter punched paws and putt u
Little red card in his hat He held out
his hand and Says:
"Whare's the Boy'sT
"What do you meanY" paw asst.
"Aint that your Boy" the man says.
Eyes" paw told Him, "but he's Too
young to pay"
THAT Don't 60 on this Road" tho
Conduckter Says. Hell Be Shawn Twict
a week in a year or So Come Oh now,
! ant got no Time to Listen to no Stories
about Dates in the Family Bible"
II CESS you must Be new man Here,
paw Says. you Don't no the general
manager Of This Company is my uncle,
Do you? What's your nameW
The s.nduckter Looked kind of .teddy
at paw FER a mint and then sed:
"All rite
SO he went on punchin the Tickets,
and after he was up at the other End of
the Car paw Says:
They amt nothin Like Havin nurve
and Keepin your Wits about you. l
Hope you'll take after me and always no
Enuf to keep Cool and Camm When you
git in lite places. | wouldn't of Done
a Thing Like That only this Rode run
over a Cow for Uncle Henry Wunst and
Wouldn't pay him nothin."
Purity soon the Conduckter Came Back
and Leaned against the Seat in front Of
IFS and Says to Paw
$50 the general manager is one of your
family, is He? When was you in to See
the Old gentleman Last|
About n week ago" paw Says.
cts pity about His health. Amt to-
YES. / Couldn't Help notusen He was
fallen purity Fast. l Told him he was
Foolish to work So hard. He OF to take
a Rest"
Il spose you didn't asst him fer pass
Becos you Felt so Sorry fer Him." the
Conduckter Says.
"Oh, no." paw anserd II Didn't no
was Coin then and l amt Had no time
to Tend to it Since"
Look here" the Conduckter Says
>
in Yoorup fer Six months and if He had
emmy Reelashens like you | don't Spose
He'd Ever Come Back to try 10 live it
Down. Now l want a Ticket fer that
Boy"
Then the pupp Seen thay was Sum
thing rong Coin on So he Crawled out
From under the Seat and Begin to Bark.
where's the Rest of the Famblyt'
the Conducktcr asst. You amt got n cote
or caff or goose or ennything Like
that with you, Besides the Boy and the
Dawg, Have youY
Don't git funny paw says, Gtvin the
pupp kick that made everybuddy in the
car take an interest. One man jist Be
hind US Hollered;
Il CESS you made mistake. You
wanted to Git on the Cattle frame,
Didn't you?" and another one on this
other side says to the Conduckter:
You Better Serch Him. Mebbe he
Has a Rabbit or Two Consealed about
his person"
Then paw Stood up and Shook his fist
at Them and Holered:
you Fellers OF to Git a Job with
Some Sho Them Jokes is So Brite thu
publick would 90 Crazy over Them
Everybuddy in the Car laft But me
and paw Couldn't tell whether it was az
the other fellors or us.
So paw settled fer me and we Took
the pupp and went in the Smoker Cai
and the next Stashen was where We
Got off.
When me and paw and the Pup wa,
standen on the platform All alone aul
the frame had went on | says:
paw, Did you Haft to lurn to keeg
cool and camm in tite places or did il
jist come natcLerei to Your
Paw he set His satchel Down kind Of
slow and put his Hand on mi He'd and
says;
George, Sum day you are agoin to gro
up and BE man if your life is SPARED,
and mehby you mite have Children,
Then when they come in the Times Of
your trubhe and Sho that WHARF they OF
to Have luv fer YOU in thare Brest they
amt nothin But Disrespcck you will no
what il is to be a fawther with Ser
penis tooth Bitten at your Hart. Say, Il
you tell the folks ennything about what
happened comm ont Here I'll brake ev-
cry Bone in your boldly. George in
Chicago Times Herald.