The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1899-03-18
A DRuMMER'S EXPERIENCE.
A Knight of the Road Tells a Yarn
which He Saws is True.

Which He Says is True.
One thing l like about these knights of
the Road" Is that they are great fellows
for secret societies. Most all druniners
belong to everything that is going from
the ''Grand Knights of the Diamond Gar
teri down to the .'Sons of Intemperance."
/ am quite a hand for all such mysterious
Things myself, SO l get solid with all the
boys. My old friend called en-
me the other day to see if I needed n
drugs and to have a visit. We had a jolly
old time. While we were settin' in the
| office a chap came in and wanted to bor-
| row 50 on account of a remittance rot
coming to him as he expected.
told him my 50 I kept to
| in the day before by Johnny McIntire, but
I never lent it except to drummers. He
said, that me-" | gave him the grand
hailing sign of an Odd Fellow which he
tumbled to. Then 1 came the great "hain
i nthe soot' grip of a Pythonic. He tum-
bled. Then Crook gave him the G. B. of
the Sons of Malta. He was on to it. Then
l tipped him the hair poking signal of a
Good Tippler. He smiled and said III. o."
This is a chemical term meaning IVA
ters." Then Crook struck out his hand
and gave him the noted P. D. @. sign Of a
Royal Arch Brick Mason. He got thar
on that. Then Crookston examined him
| as folders, to make sure he was a drum
mer:-
From whence contest thou, pard??"
From the Lodge of the Holy St.
Johns, Michigan
What seek We here to do?'
ITO take a few orders and collect a bill
of Bison."
Then you are a drummer?'
II am so taken and accepted by all
the boys"
How may I know you to be a drum
me-?"
by my cheek and my %fffty-pound sam
pie case; try met
How will you be tried?"
"By the square,
why by the square?"
Because the square is a magistrate
and an emblem of stupidity
Where were you first prepared to be
a drurnmer?,
in my mind"
Where next?"
sIn a printing office, adjoining a regu-
lar post of drummers."
How were you ~prepared?'
B being Invested of my last cent, my
cheeh RUBBED with a prlck, a bunion plas-
Ter over each eye ana a heavy sample
case in each hand. In this fix 1 was con
Quoted to the door of the post
How did you know it was a door, being
pima
by Arsl stepping IN a coal scuttie, ana
aiteiwarus dumping my mead against the
door KNOB.
TOW gained you admlsslon!
Dy peneii u my cheeh.
liao sou the REQUIRED cneeK:
40 = steve SEARS hau II iof
~
low were you recelVeu:
u Inc sharp toe OF q poot' apphea 70
my natural trousers.
what ala TINS teach you!
rot looi arouno 100 much.
what happened next!
was SCI uo"h on d cake OF zee ana
asheu l pu' my trust IN mercantiie re-
Pulls
iour answer
lSot II KNOW myselI, l cont"
no" we're you next nandled?
~
- q AA7' w tiotteu nlhe Tunes around
- = ~ lou worthy protners, ana
snea oiousl. ~ front OIL the Lett boWer
. lurther Instructions
40" uio ne instruct you!
~ approach q customer IN three up
iisn' iesuiar steps, with my business
caiu eAeenueu at rlgne angles my arms
forming d perfect square.
-" "as you eheh disposed OF!
"as asaii sea.eu On tle caAe OF lce N
49, !, g Wy soous poA ana mace 70 lax
= Ioiiuwlis horrlole ana plnoing oaeh'-
= Charles =. Hoolnson 40 nereoy ana
herein most eVeriasllngly ana olapollcaily
sweat Ny Inc Great roD IAN flusn' 1nat
! VIII never reVeal ana always steal aii
the tfade secrets can Tor the use and
oenent OIL TINS MOST August Order. And |
iurlner swear, oy the Bald HEADED Jack
OF cluos' mat ! viii neve give carve,
MAKE hola' Take or cut prices below the
regular rates. ana l lurther swear, by
the rlpes lnat played pefore Moses, to
never nave any commercial dealings with
any man. OF ms Wl1e' SISTER
oio maid aunt or uncle unless they, ne,
sne or 1t Is sound on the goose. Binding
myself under no less a penalty than to
nave my grip-saek slit from top to bot
tom, my dirty shirts and SOCKS taken out,