The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1899-07-02
The disputants I weeI
Rail on in inter ignorance
or what each other mean,
And pirate about an elephant
Not one of them has seem"


Not of them has sccn."
What calls forth this burst OF elocuence
Harry Looks like tho Congressional Record
you've got there. There nevor was any fun in
that"
"Oh There wasn't. chi Well. you men
glance over these remarks on the canteen, and
you'll change your minds"
For the next ten minutes the group Of off,
GERS leaned over the table and devoured the
Record. occasionally interrupted by shouts Of
hearty laughter Finally they returned to their
chairs, looked from one to the other with
amazement In their faces. and then. as by COM
mon consent. burst into a loud laugh.
Say. I'm going to show that to my wife,"
said ono. She runs monthly cantcen bill Of
from $40 to 500. Won't she be Mortified when
she sees what q sinful institution it is she con-
hives at! She'll think it wicked to buy another
egg or another pound OF butter there. But.
hello! the Colonel doesn't seem to be as much
amused as the rest OF us. What's the trouble.
Colonel ?"
I'm not amused There's no fun in it, I've
known the army when drunkenness was COM
mon. but now things are different. The canteen
has been the most powerful temperance agent
we have had. To destroy 1t would be to make
a step backward. / remember this very post
when 1t was fairly surrounded by ginmills
The canteen DESTROYED their business and they
vanished. But understand that three differ
ent parties are planning new ones in case the
canteen is killed These statements that amuse
you youngsters much are honest enough
but the Congressman have been wofully mised
by the liquor dealers and the TEMPERANCE
cranks l say cranks adviscdly. for mean not
temperance advocates. but those who call
themselves such and are really most intern
perate in that they insist upon their own ex-
IRENE views"
But. Colonel. what difference will It make
II they do abolish the canteenf We were forced
to introduce it. aud as soon as the old cond-
lions are restored we will be forced to do SO
- Certainly. boy but it's a dead loss OF time
However. we won't let, things slip back ward
a Mhha.eessr law u provided. l think 1t VIII be
Well. then. sir, you can afford to laugh at
They're so serious as TO be grotesque, and lu-
a ne b Bnt hang n MORALS anyway! Who's in
This proposition was received with enthusi-
assm. and the cues were soon at work. As usual
unt!rthe room rang With mirth when some one ne
made an especially unfortunate shot; When
come proposition was made.
II, Ring for the steward and order up somo-
thing snh The button was pressed but no stew
sSS s2upS s5SE his
ard in the tone that always brought thu bat
TALON to attention with snap No steward
appeared. The Colonel gave 1t up. and went
home. Tho young Lieutenant they called
Harry claimed the ability to mix a rafting
good punch. and proposed that they make a
raid on the stewards wine locker. The raid
was made. but the steward had taken his keys
with him. by this time their throats were dry
from shouting out the door for the missing
Eureka" came triumphant shout from
the reading room. wild rush discovered II
youth waving tho Congressional Record.
THE deSDiscd canteenn he shouted III
go down with any other man and bring up
Throwing their capes around their shoulders
two Of the party FASTENED away and in n few
minutes returned with-a bag Of lemons and
another Of sugar. 1t was al the wicked can
teen had. except sarsaparila Tho civilian
planned that he'd have some beer the next day.
But they couldn't wait.
The huge punch bowl was placed on q table
and lllled with lemonade. A new game OF pool
was begun, and all joined in and sang Benny
emptied. nlled and emptied again. and the
leathern bottle reeed about the table or fell
off upon the floor amid groans and cheers.
. The chaplain stood outside the door with his
hand on the knob and his face sad ana sorrow
paper. but turned sorrowfully away.
Inc following morning he appeared at post
headquarters after guard mounting and asked
for tho commanding officer.
Colonel, said he. y n sad duty brings me o
you. ono that never thought, would fall upon
this post aud Of their freedom from vice OF ali
kinds; but must report that last night. as I
was about to enter the mess. ] was shock cd to
observe through the open door that all the
around the punch bowl. and they were all
beastly drunk"