The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1899-09-08
MEDICAL SUBJECTS,
From Popular and JocuIar Standpoint
By ELDER PERRY. NJ. D.,
OF SassairaS Jungle, IIooppole Township,
Dubois County, Indiana.
EMERGENCIES.


pens when a person is least pre-
pared for it.
Emergencies occur in war, and
the fate of nations may depend on
what a general does at the right
time. Frequently in past history,
has whole nation gone to deserved
oblivion, because it contained not
one individual equal to the emer
gency that overwhelmed the coun-
try.
Emergencies occur in politics.
Blaine had the presidency in his
grasp, but he lost it, because he
failed to notice the emergency in
his career, brought about by Burch-
ards "Rum, Romanism and Rebel
lion" F."
Emergencies occur in business
affairs, snd many a great business
house has gone down to ruin, be-
cause the man at the head was not
equal to the emergency.
Many a ship has been wrecked on
the highways of tile sea because the
man at the helm could not meet
the emergency.
Emergencies may arise in any of
the affairs 81 life, and if not proper
ly met, will end in disaster and dis
tress.
Emergencies occur to our bodies
by accident and disease, and at any
time ary one may be taken una
wares by an unexpected accident or
an unforeseen occurrence, and lite
nay depend on the right thing be
ing done Immediately. One advan-
tage these emergencies have over
other kinds. They occur more fre-
quently, and the same emergencies
recur, so that they become familiar
on sight, and one gets used to them
and knows what to do with them.
Such emergencies, which may be
called medical and surgical emer-
gencies, are supposed to be the de-
light Of the doctors, who make use
of them for their personal pleasure
and profit.
The doctor, especially the coun-
try kind, is expected to be sitting
in his office, if he has one, day and
night, Sundays and holidays, and
at all other times, waiting for an
emergency TO turn up to be turned
down. If there is base ball game
raging in the neighbcrhood, or a
circus is airing its elephants in the
precinct, or picnic is dlshing out
diseased lemonade in the vicinity,
or a camp meeting is in progress
near by, then the doctor is supposed
to be sitting Oh his saddled horse in
the barn, counting the hayseed in
his beard, waiting for that emer-
gency to break loose, SO he can i'm
mediately, if not sooner, proceed to
capture it and put it into alcohol.
The doctor, especially the one Of
Sassafras jungle, has been trained,
so that his knowledge and MS skill
and his memory enable him to fall
all over an emergency and demolish
it in the latest and most approved
style, and according to the dictates
of the latest scidnce.
This paper is not for the doctor,
but it is for the people who do not
claim to be skilled in medicine.
That leaves out the old women, the
blacksmiths, the fat men, the bar
bers and most everybody else.
The object of old DR.. Elder Per
ry, Of Sassafras Jungle, is to advise
the common people, who do not
pretend to know everything and
more too, first, what not to do, and
second, what to do, before the doc
tor comes.
DoN'T GET EXCITED. Rest assured
that much time will be saved if you
make haste slowly in any emergen-
CIV. 1t will not be necessary for
YOU W SM tll-N NOul ldlSt bttNll vi
to break your own neck to save the
life of victim of an emergency,
that was turned loose in your vicin-
ity. Do the best you can, and do
it as quick as you can, but don't be
in any hurry about it. The person
who loses his temper in a controver-
sy is brother to the person who
loses his presence OF mind in an
emergency, with the difference, that
the first is a candidate for the peni-
Tertiary, and the latter candidate
for the lunatic asylum. Both will
do things that they will afterwards
regret. and waste time over useless
tears.
Nine people in crowd Of ten be.
come jumping lunatics as soon as
something unusual occurs, or III
some accident happens. They dol
nothing, or they do the wrong thing,