The Topeka state journal., 1899-12-15
ROBERTS CASE EXPLAINED

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about? Is Roberts lightweight or
heavyweight
Hes nayther wan nor the other"
replied Rafferty,. Hes only congress-
Wen. he might be a dacent man at
that" said Madden I know meselt
wan or two cOngressmin that's as good
as amy liquor store keepers But What
ar-re the women kiCl<in' abOut?"
They are kickin' bekase they say
that Roberts is tryin' to destroy the
sacridness of the marriage relation,
replied Rafferty,.
pear. dear said Madden in a hush
ed tone. You don't tell me so. Is he
doin' it wild a meat-ax, or hOW2'
"Arrah no man." said Rafferty,, in
disgust He's doin it by TaysOn of his
dignaciOus manner O. life. He's ploy-
Eame-ist"
He plays a polly game, does he?
All, the basti Well, welli But tell me
Rafferty,, is that game anything like
football or hurley2'
'Tis q little more lively nor lawn
tinnis, Madden. as ROberts'n find out
before the women of America get
through kickin' at him. A Yankee wO-
man is no good wild a brick, but Fave
another woman come fOOlin' around
her husband and thin she's as handy
wild her tongue as a StOVe-leg- LOOK
here, Madden, you don know H. put
you're a mon al gam-ist, that's what
you ar-re"
You're liar. Rafferty,! I'm as good
Catholic as you ar-Te, and maybe bet
AAtEA 4Il4Ai Z give p 70 D4A4tt lAAG lAe-FN
cathadraI in Sligo! Take off your coat,
you Scot, yOui I'll t'ach you who is a
mahogany. Take it off. or I'll strike
sputtering with rage. Madden came
out from behind the bar, throwing his
coat on the floor. With a disdainful
wave of the hand Rafferty, stopped him,
exclaiming;
Keep quiet. You ignorant COmmOch,
you! A mOn-a-gam-ist is not a thafe.
He's a man that thinks wan wife
enough for man"
.'Ah. ha" said Madden, Modified.
Faith, I'm afther thinkin' so meSelf-
I've seen the time whin thought wan
was too many, and she only weighin'
IS pounds"
Now you're talIxin' rayson," said
Rafferty,. The substanshality o. that
argymint III never be COrrOgated if 1
know anything about the fayma1e sex.
Well, now, to resOOm. as the ass said
TO Balm: A pOl-game-ist, you mustn't
understand. Madden. is a man that
thinks he has right to as nanny
wives as he likes, and that's what 5
the matterh wild Roberts
'BegOrra. he's like the man IN the
Bible that had three hundred wives
and four hundred pOrcupines, amt he ?"
said Madden.
Hes not quite so bad as that, Mad
den He has only three wives
Poor mani And is he still alive3 But,
whisper, Rafferty,; they ar-re not Irish,
ar-re they2
you may bet the soIes off your shoes
they're not. Madden What would a
home that had three Irish women mar
Tied to wan man look like at the ind
of two hOurS2 Till me that. Talk
about Majuba Hill! The Irish ir'rls
have a way o. putin an iron bound
copper riveted cOmether on man
thatu make his tongue stick out a foot
If he dares to look at wax figure IN
a dry goods store windy"
You're right, you're right" said
Madden, sadly. I have the ball and
chain on me own ankle. But. look you,
Rafferty,. theyn give you the slather
of a kiss that 'ud Wather a horse if
joined dacent to Thin"
''Thrue for you, Madden. I was near
drowned meself more than wanst in
that way" said Rafferty,, reminiscently,
as he drew the back of his brawny
hand over his mouth
The conversation languished for sew
era1 minutes as Madden mixed two
glasses Of hot Irish. Then, as he drank
and replaced the glass upon the bar, he
resumed:
But. tell me, Rafferty, who was the
man that first invented this poly
.'Tis har-rd to tell that surely, Mad
den; but as far as my readin' goes twas
q man by the name O. David
And where did he Hve2"
Il think it was in the land o. Canaan,
wherever that might be. He was the
son of a man named Jesse. Sure. Davy
was a great man intirely for THROWN
stones wild a sling Faith, he was the
lad that killed Goliath wild a brick. I
think twas TassO or Lucullus or some
o thin DagO pOtes that made him i'm
mortal in verse thatu go rOllin' down
the Railways o time like a milk-wagon
of a Sunda' mOrnin'. Me memory is
not so good as twas. Madden, but !
think the pO'tr begins sOmethin' like:
1.-THE brightest boy ould Jesse had was
Davey, youngest son
He was bold and active lad, well
liked by every wan,
And then the sOothin' ways he had to
capture young and old.
The female sex-dOn't say a wOrd-'twas
them was his strong hold"
That's fine. Rafferty, exclaimed
Madden. 1T sounds like the Harp
that Wanst' don't it?"
.'Of course it do said Rafferty, COM
plaCently. 1T shows what blarny he
had whin he was young. but wait till ]
tell you what a sOotherer he was whin
he grew up to be a man. BY raySOn OF
his stone-throwin' and his courage they
made him a king, and in thin days
Madden, a. king could have anything
he wanted Well. by tn same token
wan day he saw a fine lump of lass
ridin' by his place in a jauntin' car
What did he do but he made the jarney
stop the donkey and called the lass in
Says the king to her
" May I be so bOwld, me beauty, as
70 ak who you ar-re2'
" Faith you may and welkim.' says
she, lOokln' around at the nagur ser
wants and the gould chairs, I'm
Bridget Uriah. the sojer's wife, savin
your presince, your worship
" Is he brave man2' says the king
He is that says Bridget There
ne'er man in the Tipperary Fusileers
can throw him. cOllar-an'- elbow. Grace
Roman or catch h-as-catch-can'
I'm glad to hear that says the king
for I have a bit O. work for him to do
The AsSyrians are comm down like the
wolves after the pigs Tell Uriah I want
nm TO go and raise a company O. the
Fusileers tomorrow and drive thin back
and ask him will he march at the head
o the troops So UTiah went out as he
was ordered to do. and, of course, Uriah
was killed. as the king thought he would
be. and the king nut Bridgat in = ca ee