The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1899-04-18
THE GjD FROM THE MACHINE,
By RUDYARD KIPL1Ne.
Hit man an help a woman, an you can't be
far wrong anyways.
-Maxims of Private Mulvaney.

Hit man an help woman, an you can't be
far wrong anyways.
-Maxims of Private Mulvaney
The lnexpressibles gave ball They
borrowed a FOUNDER from the gunners
and wreathed it with laurels and made
the dancing floor plate glass and pro-
vided a supper the like of which had
never been eaten before. and set two
sentries at the door of the room to hold
the trays and programme cards. My
friend Private Mulvaney was one of
the sentries. because he was the tallest
man in the regiment When the dance
was fairly started. the sentries were re-
leased. and Private Mulvaney fed to
curry favor with the mess sergeant in
charge of the supper Whether the mess
sergeant gave or Mulvaney took can
not say All that l am certain of is
that at supper time found NIulvaney
with Private Ortheris, two thirds of a
ham. loaf Of bread. half a pate de foie
gras and two magnums of champagne
sitting on the roof Of my carriage. AS
came up heard him saying
"Praise be danst doesn't come as
often as d'ly room. or, by this an
that, Ortiz 'ris my son, wud be the
dishgrace av the rig mint instid av the
brightest jool in uts crown.
''Hand the colonels pet noosince.
said Ortheris who was Londoner
"But wot makes You curse your ra
tions? This ere fzzy stuff's good
enough.
STUFF, you oncivilized paginl 'Tis
champagne we re dhrinkin now 'Tisn t
that am set ag in. tbs the ouare stuff
| wild the little bits av black leather in
it misdoubt will be distressin 'ly
sick wild it in the mornin Fwhat is
ut"
Goose liver" | said, climbing on
the top of the carriage, for knew that
it was better to sit out with Mulvaney
than to dance many dances
Goose liver. is ut?' said Mulvaney
"Faith, I'm thinkin thin that makes ut
wud do betther to cut up the colonel
He carries power av liver undher his
right arrum whin the days are warm an
the nights chill. He wud give thin tons
an tons av liver tbs he seq so. I'm
all liver today. seq he, an wild that he
ordhers me ten days c. B. for as mold
dhrink as liver good sodger TUX be-
tune his teeth.
"That was when g wanted for to
wash ITSELF in the fort ditch. Ortheris
explained. .'Said there was too much
beer in the barrack water butts for a
God fearing man. You was lucky in git
tin OFF with wot you did, Mulvaney. I"
"You say SOL Now m persuaded
was cruel hard trated. seein fwhat I've
done for the likes av him in the days
whin my eyes were wider opin than
they are now Man alive. for the colo
mel to whip me on the peg in that way!
Me that have saved the reputation av a
ten times better man than hint Twas
ne-farious. an that names power av
/ evill'
''Never mind the righteousness,
said. ''Whose reputation did you saver
'More's the pity, 'twasn't my own,
but TUX more trouble wild ut than il
ut was. Twas just my way. messin
wild fwhat was no business av mine.
Hear now'' He settled himself at ease
on the top of the carriage. .'I'll tell you
all about ut Av coorse will name nc
names, for there's wan that's an orr
GERS lady now that was in ut. an nc
more will | name places. for man is
thracked by place.
"Eyahl'' said Ortheris lazily. .sBut
this is mixed story wot S comm y
"Wanst upon time. as the childe1
books say. l was recruity.
"Was you, thought said Ortheris.
"Now that s extry ordinary"
''Orth ris, = said Mulvaney. .'av you
opin thin lips av yours again will,
savin your presince, sorr, take you by
the slack av your trousers an heave
| you.
''I'm mum. said Ortheris. .'Wo1
'appened when you was recruity @
81 was betther recruity than yor
liver was or will be. but that's neither
here nor there. Thin became a'man,
an the divil of man l was ] IS years
ago They called me Buck Mulvaney il
thin days. an. begad, TUX woman's
eye. did that Orth ris, you scrub,
fwhat are you sniggerin at? Do you
misdoubt me?'
''Devil doubtl.' said Ortheris. "But
I've card summat like that before
Mulvaney dismissed the impertinence
with a lofty wave of his hand and con
tinued
ian the OFF GERS av the rig'mint ]
was in in thin days was orr GERS
grand men, wild manner on EN- an a
way wild EN- such as is not made these
days-all but wan-wan av the capt MS.
| A bad drill. wake voice. an limr
leg-thim three things are the signs av
bad man. You bear that in your hid.
Ortiz 'ris, my son.
IAN the colonel av the rig mint had
daughter-wan av thin lamblike.
bleatin. pick me up an carry me or I'll
die gurls such as was made for the nat
ural prey av men like the capt n who
was iverlastin payin coort to her.
though the colonel he said time an over
'Kape out av the brute's way, my dear
But he niver had the heart for to send
1 lo,. f,o,,, tho ,l,lo ha;,, -. I.