The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1899-03-04

binary how very soon after people become
Intimate with each other they drop all Inc
! courtesies which have hitherto graced
| their friendship, and behave with a regard
Of each others feelings which very orlen
| leads to a complete rupture, says Anna
| Rittenhouse in the Philadelphia press
sIf you wish to like people do not know
| them too WE'LL" is a trite saying, ana It
implies besides our becoming aware OF the
weak points in a persons character; also,
that intimacy has its dangers as well as
its pleasures if the barriers which ilrst
surround our intercourse are broken
down.
We begin to speak our mind much too
often. and express an adverse opinion
freely, quite forgetting that the little
rift within the Lutte, may occur before
we are aware. and what we may have
lone t~houghtlessly we regret bitterly.
1 do not believe in that friendship
which can never tell a friend anything
harsh: with whom one must live on the
border land of flattery; one with whom
you can never have a disagreement with
out its causing a break between you. Real,
true friends stand many a disagreement If
| the right foundation is there,
However, it is a bad mistake to fall in
to, to feel that you can say anything I'M
| pleasant to a friend, simply because you
know him or her so well.
We h perhaps, that our great in
timacy warrants our telling of their faults
and rallying themson their foibles! This IS
very unwise, and can only be. done with
safety when one friend (the one who ad-
monishes) is much older than the Other,
and then only with infinite tact and dis
erection. Very often it is wiser to with
hold our opinion, even when pressed to
give it, should it be adverse and we Know
| it must be; it may then give offence.
Above all, it is very necessary to he
| guarded when talking of mutual frieads
or even acquaintances. Tastes differ so
widely, and someone you admire may be
disliked intensely by your friend, for prl-
vate reasons known only to herself. and
whic she does not care to divulge. People
must disagree sometimes, but they can
'sagree to differ" and be courteous ard
forbearing, even though they are opposed
| at the moment. Jealous people who see
their friends kind to others often tax them
with faithlessness. This is where worn-
ems friendships. are sc. much more. I'M
stable thar mems.
A man is much more generous to sn-
other man than a woman is to another
woman.
The friendship between a man and
woman should be watched very closely;
it is a beautiful thing and very invigor-
ating to both when not abused, but a
woman is apt to stretch the friendship
of a man too far, often until it snaps.
1t takes tact to manage such a friend
ship.
Ceremonious we need not be, but az
ways scrupulously polite, taking no lib
critics, and not imposing on good nature.
Because we are so intimate 1t is unneces-
sary for US to be for ever rushing in and
out of his OF her house, it may be, at very
inopportune moments, ~interrupting her
when she is reading or writing, or wnen
she is receiving visitors, or when tired and
disinclined to talk we stay a long time
and bore her with our doings and ideas.
The friendship between man and wife
may be Intensified, even glorffied by the
tender consideration for each others
failings shown in their everyday life.
Friends they ought to be in the highest
and oest sense. Every woman says
Miss Mathers in her novel, Com n
thro' the Rye, must be to her husband
bon camarade if she wants to keep his af-
fectien." If they go on Gas we may .lope
they began showing each other respect
and honor where honor is due, then famil-
iarfty never breeds indifference, but great
er love, even devotion which expresses it.
self in the daily courtesies of life and
constant consideration for eac others
feelings, wants and failings.
49,
.Eft-
A distinct changed is coming over socie-
ty. The working woman who divides her
waking hours between the strap of an
elevated train and an office chair, or a dry
goods counter, is the peer of her million
aire sisters-and she knows it! And the
millionaire sisters are beginning to know
it, too. The line is growing fainter and
fainter between the wives and daughters
of the money kings and the great army of
bread winners. Tie silent influence of
the woman who works, the woman with a
purpose, has crept into the aristocratic
mansions of the avenues; and now scarce
ly a home can be found which has not
furnished it's quota to the ranks of the
woman workers.
The spirit of industry and independence
of making life count-has always exist
ed more or less in New England, says the
Housewife" and it has within a few
years spread rapidly to other sections.
Girls whose fathers could supply them
with lavish pocketmoney, and hats and
gowns galore. have now taken it into their
pretty heads that they will pay their own
bills by the fruits of their own laboy
College training is doubtless largely re-
sponsible for the new feeling in every sec.
ing the struggles ard sacrifices of their
poorer fellow-students, experienced a glow
of sympathy and admiration, and the re-
solve was born to make their own oppor-
~tunfties count for high and noble things
1t is no unusual thing for a society bud
to say to her cavalier at a dance:
my sisters first book will be out this
monitor my sister, the doctor. tells
me. ETC., etc.''-or my friend Lillian is
making such a success of her parlor
readings that she has about persuaded
me to take the course next fall.
And the work of the wealthy woman is
not always for money. Sometimes it is
for philanthropy, for the sake Of study
for perfection in art, music or literature,
Working women's clubs of the presena
might truthfully record on their books the
name of the woman who makes a. success
of editing and publishing; the head Of a
dramatic school who works hard to ele-
waite the public taste; the. m~illionaire's
wife who starts and manages a musical