New-York tribune., 1899-08-12
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Judge in Chicago the other day interrupted
the unntelllgibe testimony Of witness In court
by saying: Take that stuff out OF your mouth.
How do YOU expect me to hear what you are say
ing when your mouth is filled with wad Of gum!
This practice OF chewing gum on the witness
stand must stop II you talk as plainly as you
can the jury will have trouble enough hearing
you without your making II worse by rolling tnat
great wad under your tongue"
Too Much for Human Nature.-"How is 1t that
remember when you were inseparable friends
agreed to the ens Of Se third day the
house would not hold us both. and we have never
become reconcied since."-(Detroit Free Press
British peer at work as a common sailor is
sufficiently unusual to be worthy of record. The
Australian liner Hesperus. now It's way home
10 England has tor one OF its crew the Marquis
Of Graham eldest son OF the Duke Of Montrose
He Is said to he keenly interested In the mercantile
marine and 10 he engaged in getting thorough
insight into the working Of sailing ships with a
view 10 qualifying. like Lord Brassey, for mas
ter's certificate He ls described being very
popular on hoard and taking his full share OF
the work Of the ship An almost forgotten romance
OF the peerage and the sea Is that Of the elder
brother OF the present Earl OF Aberdeen, who
shipped az common sailor a voyage from
America 10 Australia. He went aloft the night
Of January 27 1870 In a terrible storm. and was
never seen again
Honor Not sayed1Mr i1t De stylemAl is not lost
Mrs. De Style-Are we to go to Newport or Sara
toga? pa. o. u % u,.har n,,,. W. s. .,,v 6,
stay in the city? We shall be everlastingly dis
graced.' d.'-(New-York Weekly.
Harry G. Steele. Of Ashland. Penn. has reached
Dawson City. Alaska. and will launch into Polar
Journalism The Daily News" The paper Is to
call rtt--f Soptc "a, rttet,
will be rated at $40 an inch month Job printing z
charges will be for lots OF 1000 as follows: Bust
cards s25 letter heads $50; lis sheet dodgers
500; Y sheets, $50, and envelopes, s25.
An Appropriate Penalty.-First Member (of the
international Arctic Exploration Society)-What do
you think OF the proposed amendment to the con-
Second Member-what is III
discovers tho North Pole he shall be expelled at
once."-U4ife.
A Port Angeles man took three hundred chickens
to Dawson last summer. During the trip they
averaged three dozen eggs day. and the eggs
were sold for 81 dozen.
How to Do It.-Raynor--You told me once you
had more real estate in this town than you could
afford to own. yet you have paid nearly twice
what It's worth for that property next door to you.
Shyne-t wanted to build new line fence with
out having any trouble over it-(Chicago Tribune
A statue OF st. Bernard de Mention Is to be
raised on the Great ST. Bernard. The committee
appointed carry out the idea Is naturally inter-
national for the monks from all parts Of the
world. AS some twenty thousand persons annually
visit the world famed hospce 1t is believed there
will be difficulty in raising funds for a memorial
its great founder BY the way, It may not be
! generally known that the of dogs for which
st Bernard obtained universal celebrity Is extinct
and that Newfoundlands are now employed by the
monks.
On the Wrong Scent.-First Little Girl (at fash
| ionable summer resorO-Im awful glad to get
quainted with you, cause you're nice.
! Second Little Girl-Som with you. That's what
| we come for. Mamma says so herself
Yes. with nice peope-people in society you
| why that's just what mamma wants. We're 10
get 'qqainted with people In society
"Ain't you In society In the city?"
mo. You are, aren't your
NO We've been rakn' and scrapin the whole
winter to come here and get 'quainted with people
in society. you know"
Then your folks ain't anybody at homer
No,
Guess there amt much use in us settn'
! 'Quainted"
Guess not"
! "Goodby."
! "Goodby."-(New-York Weekly.
/ Fingers are valued at a high price in Australia
| A Melbourne boy OF eight had his fingers crushed
In gate at a level crossing, and one had 10 be
amputated An action on his behalf was brought
against the State Railway Department The jury
awarded the full amount claimed. E.000.
A Lost Art.--Mr. Henpeckt-i wish sometimes
: had the knowledge OF the ancient Egyptians.
/ Friend-ln regard TO what, old man?
Perhaps you've OF their mummies
They understood how TO make q woman dry up
! and remain so."-lLfe.