Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1899-03-12
ABSOLUTELY PURE

you, and he sed, Uncle Zeb. whar's yo
Mars William, and l sed. l dunno. sab.
Den he sed Misser Pugh wen Bill he
called yo Bill Mars William. wen Bill
comes in. tell him 1 got er good I'm on
Walter Pike bout land grabbers. He Sed
Misser Pike dun paid his taxes. but
dey got up err joke and told him de
land grabbers dun surb notice bout his
place. Msser Pike. he sed. war as mad
rs er wet hen in December. and de air
war so sulfrus dat de hole force in de
Composing room had to stop work and
raise de windows. Mars William, wat IS
desc land grabberS, anyhow. l sees er
heap bout en- in de papers, but it
peers to me dey ought to be called
'tunity ketchers. caus dey seem to
ketch de tunity OBJ maxim err five dol
lar bill by maxim folks do wot de tax
collectors ought to make um do, and
den dey seems ter be or kind err shy
larks wot takes vantage of de poor
mans misfortune to git his property. |
Ses yo kant blame er man much. how
sumebber wen he is doin' wot de law
lows him 10 do. but peers ter me day
ought ter he called 'tunity ketchers
stead oh land grabbers, cause dey is
eberdcntly arter dc Ave dollar fee more
den de land. / spose Misscr Keerty will
tell 20 bout Msser Pike I think It's
Misser Kcerty. he's de gcmman wid de
long bangs like footballist. Vas. sab.
Mars William. l kin take de package
to yo room fer 20; certainly kin.
Thankee. sab. thanlice. sab: Mars Will
liam. good bye, and de Lawd brcss
yo.'
Recently I have been reading right
much in the good book. ana | would
observe that possibly Il GREAT many old
Edward iIydes who will peruse this
paragraph might be benefited by fol-
lowing my example. Very likely 1t will
appear strange to many of YOU. and
should your wife ask YOU what You
are reading, I doubt not that YOU Will
reply: oh | don't know" but keep
1t up, ii will do you good. Our city
editor told the l3erltley correspondent n
few evenings ago to read the dic;ion-
AIRY; that while he would find 1t Il trinc
disconnected. it would do him good l
don't know that lie would have told
hlm this except over the phone but /
VIII tell you, old mOsS-back Edwards
right here in this column, that, while
you VIII possibly run across many
things you haven't seen or heard of for.
n very long time. 1t will do YOU good
to spend fifteen or twenty minutes with
your Bible each day. Read the Pro-
verbs, ana while the fifteen minutes
may seem like as many hours. and YOU
may get many 4 right-handor in yonr
tough old neck. don't get weary. and
some day YOU Will rise up ana call mo
blessed. Brother Solomon gets off some
Ioserhus. or some other antique writer.
the wise man had SIC wives OF course.
l don't know that this is n fact. but II
appears strange to mo tina; Il man with
SO many better halves" should have
remarked that it were better TO live
forever in the woods, whore the mourn
fu! melody Of the whangdoodIe was
eternally chanted than to dwell in n
house with n contentious woman. 1t is
possible that the S75 were taken by
Brothcr Solomon in the vain hope or
hnding an antipodc to the first one. but
IL that be truc, how about the old pro-
verb that burnt child. etc. etc But
you must not try to understand all YOU
read. for while this paragraph OF the
ancient sage may be an enigma TO some
OF you. to others it viii! possibly be so
PAIN that YOU can thoroughly appre-
ciatc /; without any oXertion of your.
mental faculties. Now SEQ that there
are some New York Methodist minis
tors that are questioning the vcracitv
OF the story about Jonah and Daniel in
the lions den. and other Bihlieal Incl
derts. but ! trust that none Of my
re- fora Will fall into this error. Ana
while some Of these proverbs may ap-
pear little personal. just remember
that they hit your neshbor as well as
yourself.