New-York tribune., 1899-06-05
PUNISHMENT FOR A HOBO. "
COMPELLED FOR THREE HOURS TO
WATCH "SINKERS" BEING COOKED.
HIS PALS OBJECTED TO HIS PLAN FOR RAISING
MONEY AND 1T WILL NOT BE PRESENTED
TO THE CONVENTION CALLED TO
MEET IN DANvILLE. ILL.


MEET IN DANvILLE. ILL
The call issued by the Hon. Charles Noe, OF
Illinois," for a convention Of "hoboes' In Danville,
ILL., on June IS, to organize the tramps into 4
National body, will be responded to eagerly by the
Weary Willies of Brooklyn. There three we'll
known meeting places In Brooklyn for these per-
sons of leisure. and the Brooklyn hoboes will push
along the good idea OF the Hon. Charles Noe" for
a National body.
"Sotnly we should organize into a hobo trust,
said Castor OIL Mike. who last night. the even
ing shadows fell braced himself against the fence
opposite the Good Samaritan lodging house at
Willoughby and Jay SITS.
"Youse Jest in time Z de local lodge o. Willies
In secret sesshun," said Mike TO the reporter
While the reporter waiting Mike revealed
the origin Of his soubriquet.
Il don't like to speak o poisonal matters. said
he. but I'm feelin' good to-day over beefsteak
concealed in me person. an don't mind ten' ye
how II dat got me hobo name. Ye see, 'taint
fashionable fur 10 go by our Christian names.
II queers lots O. good people wot are foolish nun
{ t'ink it's necessary wuk 10 be happy Wunst
I wuz pinched fur breakn inter a gents furnish
ing goods store In Utica Wen Judge Bulger
he sez wild vinegar In his face
"'Wot We got ter say? Guilty or not guilty.
Guilty. wild a humane motive leadin' on
sez !.
"'Hows dat? seq he.
Jedge' sez l. looking I'm in de face. I wuz
sunstruck Yesterday, an had frightful pains las
night. l some castor gloves In store win
dow. an remembern dat me mudder used ter give
castor lie. tux de gloves In de hope dat dered
be 'nuf lie in de gloves 10 ease me pain sez l.
AN youse TUX castor gloves. std O. castor
lie? sez he
Oats de idee. Jedge' sez I. an wild DAT he
winked an seq:
'Prizzner discharged"
After dat wuz Castor Oil Mike all along de
Mohawk Valley
we Weary Wilies will come L order" said
Castor Oil Mike he noticed a quorum present
"Ez chairman dis meetn'," said he Il take dis
occasion TO stend my fluctuations TO all youse
on yer splendid appearance Youse seem L be up
holdn' de tradishuns de craft by not worry
in about what tomorrow may bring fort What
bloke will youse have fur chairman"
Whats de matter wild you?" asked Ivory Soap
Algy. as he stepped the toes Of Elmira Bill
"All right If dere's no 'jections." said Castor OIL
Mike
What's yer pleasure?"
I'm take mixed ale said Hypnotic Hiram
Don't get fresh" said the chairman sternly "I
mean wot's de pleasure w de meetin?'
| Then up spoke Hypnotic Hiram: Mister Chair
man. havin washed rollers in a printshop several
| years ago. I'm no doubt better qualified to sneak
dan any udder bloomin imbecile here Dere's no
use gon' Z Danville wild nothln to push We all
know what want. We want wealth and beer
an less dogs, an all that giner'l principles but
what we want most Is some scheme wot'll work"
| Go ahead an exploit yer ijee" said Elmlra BILL
gancing spprehensivey at a passing policeman.
| What suggest is to kdnap some bloke wot biz
| money will be paid fur TO git him back
| AN git pinched. la Carrie Jones" said Ivory
| Soap Algy. with a wtherng sneer. AN Kit
| pnched an luxuriate for ten years In Sing Sing.
| Nit Nit e
'Dere ye go, like de patent de Bell telephone q"
said Hypnotic Hiram. "Dere's no stoppin' vouse
wen ye gifts started I'm wn' L do all de Woik -
said Hypnotic Hiram. which sally was greeted with
| cheers and jeers.
| "Deyd trow youse out o. de convention Hiram. ."
| said Castor OH Mike, soothingy.
Hear me out" said Hiram as he lighted cigar
| previous
"Wot suggest is dis: I'll go 4 France at de
expense O. de National Society o. Hoboes an w EN-
Marchand. whose gon' 10 be TUX off DEVILS Island
| an sent back TO Paris
"Youse mean Dreyfus" suggested the chairman.
Well den preyfus-all Trenches look alike 10
! me. Ell soon ez Dreyfus lands I'll be dere an
! country. De French a offer at least a million
! bones to git him back an dis lodge o. Willies
/ An youse Is goin q dis bluff into de Ma
tional Society o Hoboes wen 1t meets?' asked
| "Sotnly." said Hiram.
| An who's gon' TO pay yer fare TO Paris?"
We'll look a, the Dewey fund. Amt dat a
| pointer" said Hiram Il move you, Mr.. Chair
| Hiram said the chairman sternIy Up ps
youse kin woik hypnotic spell on a dog an mes
| murrize mince pie into tin air, both Nv wich