The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1899-12-24
ECHOES FROM
THE MEGAPHONE
From the Clogtown Megaphone.

From the Clogtown Megaphone.
William Johnson, who has been breaking
for the railroad company, happened to re-
ceive a slight accident yesterday while
coupling cars. His left hand Is cut entirely
off and so is the right one. His left hind
leg was SO crushed by ten cars passing over
it that the doctor thinks amputation will be
| necessary. Eight front teeth were knocked
out and his nose broken His skull is slight
ly fractured, and in several other ways he
is dishgured, but the doctor says there is
no doubt but what he will recover. Will
lam has sent in mis- resignation as brakes
man.
Santa Claus sends the editor word that
he cannot visit him this Christmas, because
we have no socks in which to receive pres
ents The old gentleman, however, is mis-
taken, as we have one pair which we have
worn every day regularly for the past thir-
teen months. 1t is true that the toes, heel
and sole of this pair is worn out, but the
tops are good and we think Santa Claus
rather hasty in deciding that we have no
socks. Besides what is to hinder us from
hanging up our trousers after we tie togeth-
or the bottom of the legs? OF course, we
will promise to remain in bed while we have
our only pair hanging up.
Henry Martin brought US nice lot of
kndling on subscription yesterday. 1h.s
is very kind, and While we nave not a bite
in the house 10 eag, still it is pleasure
TO know THAT we can white out roCth-
picks from tins knd.ing, and at least keep
up appearances of having plenty by pick
ing our teeth on the streets.
Our mother-in-law is spending the hoM-
days VITA us, and all prospects of merry
recess in our own home is knocked out OF
the Megaphone man. 1t will be out of the
question for him to even be seen about the
house, and in consequence ne mas been
compelled to engage board with the par
son, who has a dandy egg-nogg every
morning during the Christmas season. For
this reason we are glad to nave our
mother-in-law visit us.
Arthur Greene, of any place desired,
called to see the editor the northern part
of last week. He Is nice young man,
who wears his hair parted in THE middle,
has a pale blue eye and a large hip pocket,
wears a nose like Bologna sausage,
pair of ears Which droop over his face like
a thunder cloud, and suit of store clothes
with the odor of tobacco which he begs
from the boys. They say the girls are just
going wild over the dear boy.
FOR SAI4E.-The Magaphone man has
fine COW which he Will sell very low. The
COW eats a bale of hay and a sack of bran
daily. Her appetite is good She has
hooked daylight through two of our chil-
drep and thrown us over the fence when
We interfered. She gives quart of rich
milk regularly every day that she is
MIXED. she is not milked often, as we
have to call in the entire neighborhood 10
assist in une job, and there are several
damage suits against the Megaphone owing
to the Thought lessness OF this cow. She
takes right of track over all railroad cars,
having knocked off several engines and
caused horrible wrecks. Any person who
has a Pinch cannon for protection should
certainly possess this COW. Call at once
and avoid the rush. We will also give
years subscription to any one buying her.
]. e. G.