davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1899-07-07

l am prepared to receive horses and
cattle for pssturaRe at the Jacobs farm,
Lake Madison. Plenty OF room, good
feed and plenty OF good water. Also
good shade. Usual rates.
CARL CHRISTlANSON.
What q woman should demand Of a
man: courtship, respect, kindness, and
plenty OF Rocky Mountain Tea
Woman's best friend 50 cents.
FRANK SNIrH.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1899-07-07

Large house. stable aud quarter blocl
ground to trade for land.
= CHAs. B. KENNEDY,
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1899-12-15
SHAVING DEAD MAN.
Il have just finished shaving man, y
said local artist. 'The job occupied
me a week and"

Il have just finished shaving a man"
said local artist. "The job occupied
me a week and"
GOOD heavens!' calculated hor-
rified friend, ''what dye mean?"
Don't be alarmed" replied the
artist calmly. "The operation was not
as repulsive as you may imagine. In
fact, performed it with brush. You
see certain family of my acquaintan ,e
have large oil painting of the head Of
the house, who departed from the vale
of tears some time in the early eighties.
At the time the portrait was made he
wore full beard, which was contrary
to his usual custom, and the family,
who remember him best with a smooth
face, have been anxious ever since to
get off the whiskers. | was engaged
to have the portrait, and hard times
and approaching rent day persuaded
me to accept the commission, which,
needless to say, was highly antipathet-
tic to my artistic instincts.
Il had to depend entirely on the
recollection of the fault for my data,
and l found, to my alarm, that each
member hae retained different i'm
preston Of the gentleman's chin. One
claimed it was double and another in
sisted that it was sharp and clean cut;
a daughter described it as square and
determined and the widow assured me
privately that it was shaped like the
prov of an armored cruised. Alto
gether found myself in deuce of
fiX.It was no trouble to take of the whis-
kers; | did that in three full swoops;
but when | blocked out the jaw cxper-
mentally and called in the crowd for
suggestions, there was grand chorous
of protest. Strange to say, l pleased
nobody, and l have been correcting,
amending, remodeling and doing it
all over again ever since. One point
of dispute was the location of a wart,
which half the family said was on the
left and half on the right. | finally
effected q compromise by painting in
two warts, one on each side. got my
fee all right, but before l take another
tonsorial job I'll go to driving a troll
lev car"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1899-12-15
FIGS GO TO COURT.

An English solicitor was defending
fruit broker in an action brought for
the recovery of 500, the price paid
for a consignment of figs which the
plaintiff declared to he unfit for human
food. The d.fense alleged that, al
though moderately discolored by salt
water, as the plaintiff knew when he
bought them, the figs were perfectly
wholesome. The figs were in court.
The plaintiff, t coster, who conduct
ed his own case, was skillfully cross
examined The trial was obviously
going againt him, and once or twice
he retorted so hotly that the judge
threatened to commit him for con-
tempt.
At length the coster grew desperate
and, turning to the opposing counsel,
hoarse and perspiring, he said:
''Look here, guv'nor, you say them
figs arc good to eat, and l say they
amt. That's all there is between US,
ain'tit? Now, s'elp me, if you'll eat
two two of them figs and you amt
sick Immediately afterward III lose
my case"
The judge at once saw the propriety
of this suggestion and asked the lawyer
what he proposed to do.
"Your honor is trying the case, not
l." was the reply.
No, no! The offer is made to
you," said the judge.
A hurried consultation took place.
Counsel suggested that it was the So
licitor's duty to submit to the expert
ment. The solicitor refused. The
broker himself was then asked if he
would risk it.
"What will happen if L don't?' he
asked.
you'll lose the case" replied both
his legal advisers.
Then" he said hurriedly close the
case, lose the easel And so he did
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1899-12-15
SHE WAS YOUNG.

lone thing is certain an af1ianced
maid announced, with decision, on the
eve of her wedding-"my husband shall
never call me mamma He may call
me Clara or Mrs. Richards or even
Say but l shall never be called
mamma 1t is a horrid, impersonal
name
We mammas who heard her only
smiled and answered nothing at all,
for each of us remembered that she
was young and that there were many,
many things that she did rot know.
She did not know that when the
sweetheart had changed to the wife
and the wife to the mother there comes
wondrous first, That first time that
she feels the downy head nesting un-
der her chin, that first time that she
feels the restless pat, pat of little feet
as she vainly tries to prison them in
her hand, she learns then that her life
has burst into new and wonderful
fuliness. In her heart there is kindled
the fire of love, and the incense that
arises from it glorifes the whole at
mosphere, and the warmth envelops
her and her baby in an everlasting
mantle.
Then in the dim light she sees bend
ing over her the one that she loves
best of all, and she reaches out her
hand to him to draw him near, that
he, too, may come within the enchant-
ed circle, that he, too, may breathe
the sacred incense and be warmed by
the heavenly fire. Laying his hand in
hers, they look together into the new
little face, but no word comes to ex-
press the strange sweet feelings that
are surging through them both until,
bending close to her, he softly whis-
pers, mamma"
1t is baptism. All the sweet, in
tangible things that have been filling
her being have been caught and held
in that word. The world may TEEN
with mammas, but the name to her
has new and sacred meaning. 9th
er names have been given her, other
promises have been made in the Civ
ing and in the taking, but nothing so
tender, so strong, so sweet as this, and
her whole being goes out in silent
promise to live up to the sacredness of
that name.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1899-12-15
NO so
NOT WHAT 1T SEEMED.

''Last week, while l was in city
not a thousand miles from here" said
local business man who had just re-
turned from little trip to neighbor-
ing State, ~ ran across former bache-
lor friend, whom | had not seen for
over two years. l knew that he had
married in the meanwhile; and when |
offered my congratulations, he insisted
on my coming out to his house for
dinner.
II accepted, of course, but when we
reached his house l was sorry hadn't
declined. In fact, l was deeply shock
ed, for of all the poverty-stricken,
squalid and generally dilapidated
habitations I ever laid eyes on, the
one he piloted me to was, by long odds,
the worst. The house was shabby
looking frame affair, unpainted and
patched all over with old wheather-
beaten, boards. Some of the shutters
were missing, and others hung by one
hinge, while a Caunt patch of yard.
Uttered with miscellaneous trash and
enclosed with ramshackle picket
fence formed an appropriate frame for
the picture. The sight saddened me
beyond expression, and was vexed
that had been made witness of my
unfortunate friends poverty. How
ever, | could not we'll beat retreat,
so / followed him in, and the moment
he opened the door l nearly toppled
over with astonishment. The inte-
rior of the cottage was perfect little
bUou. We entered a square hall de.
corated a la japanese in rich bronze
green, with stork flights in long pa
nels on the walls and palm in one
corner in big lacquered vase. Of
to the right was an exquisite little
drawing-room, finished in silvery gray
and full of good pictures and athletic
bric-a-brac. Later on l was shown
over the whole house, and found every
thing else equally attractive.
"The explanation my friend gave
me was peculiar. You see, l owned
this place. he said, and We didn't
have enough money to fix up both the
inside and the outside according to
our ideas. If we had tried to spread
it over the whcle thing the result
would have been cheap and common,
so we put all we had on the interior,
and instead of attempting to beautify
the externals turned to and made
them as outlandish as possible. Those
patches you saw on the walls aren't
necessary, but l nailed them up for
the sake of the ensemble and then l
knocked off few shutters with an axe.
We paid man to haul lot of trash
for the yard, and l never pass without
kicking picket off the fence. The
result is that our friends all think we're
too original for anything, and the ef-
feet our little furnishings is enhanced
about 500 per cent. by the contrast.
No bother to be poor if yon have
brains.'"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1899-12-15
GU ESTION OF LAW.

The young man who was once 4 clerk
in 4 law office was airing his knowledge
ofthe law and giving opinions on every
thing that came up.
IL s'pose," said the old man with
chin whiskers, chat you know all
there is to know about law"
well, | won't say that answered
the youth, "but | will admit that
know quite bit"
jest the man | want to see. then,
asserted the man with the whiskers.
you see, had quite legal pint
come up out in Kansas, and mebbe you
kin straighten it OUT
Shouldn't wonder if could" return
ed the youth. "What is it?'
"Why, a man livin' bout q mile
from me had q house with cellar un-
der it, an had a house without a eel
lar. Along come cyclone, picked
both of 'em up, spun EN- round an put
mine down where his used to be an
his where mine used to be. We let 'enl
stay right where they landed, an now
what | want to know is do | owe him
for diggin' the CELLAR
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1899-12-15
Selrrt MisrrllunY.


We had thought ourselves very for
tunatc in securing such comfortable,
old-fashioned lodgings at the small
country town in which we had elected
to spend the winter. The past months
had been very anxious ones for my
young wife and myself; an attack of
scarlet fever had laid me aside from
my work as drawing master, and i
connection once lost is difficult to re-
gain. Helen and | were both orphans;
perhaps it was our lonely position
which had drawn us together when |
gave lessons at the school where she
was a governess. Anyway, we made
what is called San imprudent mar
riage," and were supremely happy un-
til my illness. Now, however, | was
was strong again, and a kindly former
pupil of Helen's had written to ask her
to assist at a series of concerts which
she was organizing at Fallowfield in
aid of the funds of local charity
The terms offered by kindly Mrs. Clay
ton were sufficiently liberal, there was
prospect that also might find en-
ployment at Fallowfeld, and Helen
gladly accepted the offered engagement
which was to extend over some three
months. 1t was an added piece of good
fortune to alight at once upon such
coy and reasonable quarters as we had
found in one of the Fallowfield by
streets.
Il only hope there is nothing wrong
about the drains here" remarked Helen
with sudden alarm of hygienic sus-
picon; ''the rooms are really SO cheap
for their siz"; but then, of course,
country landladies would not ask the
price of city ones"
The house in which we had now To-
Gated ourselves was one of those sOlidly
rcspectabe-locking old houses common
in every provincial town, comfortably
furnished with furniture of an antiqne
type. Our landlady was kindly faced
widow woman, and her assurances as
to the unimpeachable sanitary condi-
ton of the abode had the ring of truth
in them. and were borne out 10y the
evidence Of our own sense.
Tired with the journey, we went
early to led and soon fell to sleep.
Rap, rap, rap" three slow, sonor-
Gus blows, apparently struck upon the
head Of the ancient fourpostcr upon
which we were reposing, startled me
out of my first sleep.
| sprang up in bed, to see Helen sit
ting up, equally awake-and equally
alarmed.
james, did you knock
The house was rs still as the grave
country folks keep early hours; it
was just past midnight and the whole
of Mrs. Browns house were apparently
fast asleep. Our bedroom door was
locked, not creature besides ourselves
was i'll the apartment, and yet | could
have sworn that those blows had been
struck on the bed just above our heads!
1T must have been some noise in
the street which awoke us, suppose"
said Helen, drowsily, and | could only
acquiesce in this explanation for lack
of any other.
We fell asleep again, and no further
disturbances broke our slumbers
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1899-12-15
PPE MARI 5, NOS

never got into his bed-which twelve
o'clock was his regular hour for doing,
summer and winter-but he first upped
with his wooden leg, and gave three
good knocks against the wall behind
his bed to make sure that there WASH t
no rats hiding behind the bed-hangings.
l do declare" said the good woman,
wiping her eyes again, 'that the house
do seem mortal strange now at night
without them regular knocks Of poor
dear masters
Helen and | looked at each other;
had we at last solved the mystery of
''Jeffrey?'
"Run upstairs into our bedroom next
door and listen, said Helen in a low
voice, and furtively picking up the pok-
er.
l obeyed, and in few minutes heard
the well-remembered sounds which had
at once so alarmed US.
1t seemed that Mrs. Browns abode
and the majors had been originally one
house, afterwards divided into two thin
partitions. Except when he set cut
upon his nightly rat hunt, our next
door neighbor was so extremely quiet
that We never heard him; but those
three blows vigorously delivered
against the lath and plaster division
which separated our respective bed
chambers were, of course, almost as
andible in our apartment as in the
majors own. 1t was one of the ride
uloasly simple explanations which
sometimes solve some apparently mex
plicable mystery.
Mrs. Brown was thankful to have
the uncanny reputation of her house
thus removed, and, to her honor be
it recorded, never raised her price on
us, after we had thus successfully eX-
planned away the existence of a "Jef-
frey"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1899-12-15

Centre County, Pa, farmers sold
last week SIS, 900 warth of poultry.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1899-12-15
-SssA--
WHICH,?

A Baltimore shoemaker uses the
following appropriate but curious
rhyme on the back of his business
card:
MAN AND HIS SHOES.
How much a man is like his shoes
For instance, both sole may lose;
Both have been tanned; both are
made tight
By cobblers; both get left and right;
And both are made to 60 on feet.
They both need heeling, oft are sold,
And both in time will turn to mold.
With shoes, the last is first with
men,
The first shall be last; when
The shoes wear out they're mended,
new;
When men wear ont, they're men
dead, too;
They both are trod upon, and both
Will tread on others, nothing loath;
Both have their ties, and both incline,
When polished, in the world to
shine:
And both peg out. Now, would you
choose
To be man or be his shoes?
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1899-12-15
CANCER GERMS IN CABBAGE

Mr.: Betia, OF Lucka, Germany, gives
a review of twenty five years of obser-
vations in his Cancer Hospital Ga
zette, which is confrmatory Of the the
DRY that cancer germs are propagated
on the roots Of the cabbage. Cancer
is 80 common in Lucka, in certain
parts of the city amounting to one in
thirty, and an average of one in fifty,
that he has made special series of
observations to endcavcr to discover
the cause of this high percentage. He
says that some houses are Variable
pest holes of cancer germs, and that
his twenty-five years of research has
traced the primary source Of these
gems to the roots of the cabbage, on
which they breed.
Centre County, Pa, farmers sold
last week 900 warth of poultry.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1899-12-15
ACHING JOINTS.

Announce the presence of rheuma-
tism which causes untold suffering.
Rheumatism is due to Tactic acid in
the blood. 1t cannot be cured by lini-
ments or other outward applications.
Hoods Sarsaparilla puriies the blood
removes the cause of rheumatism and
permanently cures the disease. This
is the testimony of thousands of peop-
lie who once suffered the pains of rheu-
matsm but who have actually been
cured by taking Hoods Sarsaparilla.
Its great power to act upon the blood
and remove every impurity is the
secret of the wonderful cures by Hoods
Sarsaparilla.
"We're in a pickle, now," said
man in a crowd. GA regular JAM,
said another. "Heaven preserve u.s."
exclaimed an old lady.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1899-12-15
lluetrn.
BILLS COURTSHIP.

b II looked happy as could be
One bright mornin; an says he:
Folks has been a-teilin' me
Mollie's set her cap my way;
An I'm goin' thar today
With the license; so, OF boy.
Nights we'll shake, an wish me- joy!
Never seen woman ylt
This here feller couldn't git.''
Now, it happened, that same day,
I'd been lookin' Mollie's way
jest b ad saddled my Oh hoss
To 60 canterin' across
Parson Jones' pastur', an
Az her fer her heart an han!
So, when Bill had had his say
An done set his weddin' day
lit out an rid that way.
Mollie met me at the door
Glad to see yer face once more!"
She-says she: Come Income in"
(..It's the Test man now will win,"
Thinks l to myself.) Then she
Brung a rocker out fer me
On the cool piazza wide,
With her own chair right 'longside!
In about two hours l knowed
In that race had the road
Talked in sich a winnin' way
Got her whar she named the day,
With her shiny head at rest
On my speckled Sunday vest!
An, whilst in that happy state,
Bnl-he rid up to the gate.
Well, stree! Y y \ He sot him down
Cheapest lookin' chap in town!
(Knowed at once I'd setmy trapSD
Talked bout weather an the craps,
An thousan' things, an then
Jest the lonesomest O. men-
Said he had so fur TO ride,
Reckoned it wus time to slide!
But 1 hollered out: 'Ol' boy,
Might IS well shake, an wish me joy!
l hain't seen the woman yit
That this ieller couldn't git!'
Atlanta Constitution
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1899-12-15

Because bicyclist's wheel is tired
is no reason why he should require
rest.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1899-03-03
Notable Events on Friday.

Washington was married on Fri
day.
Queen Victoria was married on
Friday.
Napoleon Bonaparte was born on
Friday.
Battle of Bunker Hill was fought
on Friday.
America was discovered on Fri
day,
Maytlower landed on Friday.
Joan of Arc was burned at the
stake on Friday.
Battle of Waterloo was fought on
Friday.
Bastile destroyed on Friday,
Declaration of independence was
signed on Friday.
Julius Caesar assassinated on
Friday.
Moscow burned on Friday.
Shakespeare born on Friday.
King Charles beheaded on Fri
day.
Battle of New Orleans fought on
Friday.
Lincoln assassinated on Friday.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1899-03-03
Chamberlan.s cough Rrmrdy.

This remedy is luteu led especially
for coughs, colds. Group, whooping
cough and iu1ueuza. 1t has become
famous for its cures Of these diseases,
over a large part of the civilized
world. The most hattering testmo
mails have been received. giving uc.
counts Of its good work.; OF the ag
yravating and persistent coughs It
has cured; of severe colds that have
yielded promptly to its soothing IF
fects, and Of the dangerous attacks Of
Group it has cured, often saving the
life Of the chiId. The extensive use
Of it for whooping cough has shown
that it robs that disease Of al danger
Gus consequences. 1t is especially
priZed by mothers for their children,
as 1t never fails to effect a speedy
cure, AMI because they have found
that there is not the least danger in
giving it. even to babies, as it con
tains nothing injurious. Sold by r.
4. HARDwICK.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1899-03-03
UndercOlor in Barred Plymouth
Rocks.

1t is to he regretted that many
very prominent breeders of Barred
Plymouth Rocks are paying SC
much attention to a matter that
does not tend to improve the breed
viz, undercolor. The points that
please the eye most, in my opinion
are surface color, size and shape.
In order to get very strong under
color, many breeders neglect other
points.
Judges are giving too much value
to small and somewhat unahapely
birds. What | think we should all
do is to first encourage our favor
size and shape. The fact Is that
many cOckerels weighing only from
5 to 61s pounds, and pullets as low
as four pounds, win the leading
prizes.
l also favor in males much lighter
cOlored specimens. prefer as
light cOlorcd male as possible,
provided he does not fail in good
barring. am told that many of
the western Judges favor the light
colored males. This is as it should
be.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1899-03-03

fanCies are being realized in an eX-
perlmental way to an extent which
gives promise of much for the flu
ture. 1t was not long ago that per-
sons living in widely scattered cities
were enabled by means of the tele-
phone to hear the speeches at a
banquet in Chicago Another eN-
pertinent of the same kind was tried
Monday evening, when patrons of
the Chicago telephone exchange
were permitted to hear in their
homes the music of the Columbia
theater. These successful expert
ments indicate in a very striking
way the possibilities of the tele-
phone. 1t may be that in future
when some eloquent statesman is
making a presidential canvass of
the country he will not be limited
in the size of his audience to those
who can crowd within the walls of
single hall, but thousands upon
thousands in all parts of the land
will be able through the use of tele-
phones to hear him in his greatest
oratorical efforts.
Undoubtedly the telephones des-
tined to play an ever-increasing
part in the life of the people. Its
possibilities merely serve to en-
phasize the Importance of control Of
the telephone III the interest of the
people and the deoIrability of max
ing rates as low as possible, to the
end that more may enjoy the bene-
fits of this product and agency of
modern civilization.-Chicago Rec
ord.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian., 1899-03-03
THE AMENDED CALL.
For the Convention to Nominate a
Railroad Convention.

The official call for a convention
to be held at Hopkinsville to nomi-
nate a Democratic candidate for
railroad commissioner, issued by
the Democratic committee of the
First railroad district, is as fol-
lows:
Resolved, That a district conven-
tion shall he held in the First rail
road district of, Kentucky on Fri
day, March 10, 1899, for the pur-
pose of nominating a Democratic
candidate for railroad commission
er in said district. Said cOnyen-
ton shall meet in the city of Hop
kinsville at ? o'clock p. IN. Dele
s.ates to said convention shall be
chosen at county mass conventions,
to be held at the various county
seats in the district at , O clock pm.
on Saturday March 4. 1890.
That the basis of representation
from ca n county to the district
convention shall be one delegate for
ANery 200 votes and each fraction
over 100 votes cast for the head of
the Democratic electoral ticket at
Ehe presidential election in 1896.
5mrhat all known democrats and
yhers, who will pledge themselves
: TO support the nominee of said dis
trict convention shall be entitled to
participate in the county conven-
tions TO select delegates.
]. ID. MoCQUoT, Chairman.
CHAs. NJ. MEACHAM, Secretary.