davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1899-10-04
.sIana is Magnet.

In tie Baltic the Danish island Born. holm, which is situated about twenty four miles, east by south, from tho nearest point of Sweden, may be re- garded as a huge magnet. Although the power of this magnetic island is not so great that it can draw the nails out of ships, as was told of the legend ary magnetic hills. the magnetism of the rocks on tee island of Bornho1m can and does cause a good deal of trou- ble to ships in quite another way, for the island exerts such an influence on the magnetic needle that it causes a vessel to turn percepttble aside from its course. The effect of the island magnetism is felt at a distance of about nine and half miles. On the island ef Cana (one of the Argyllshire Heb r.des), situate about three miles north west of Rum, there is a hill which has magnetic power sufficiently strong to affect the eompasses of vessels passing near it. The island is mile in breadth by four and a half miles in length.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1899-10-04
WITH THE FUN MAKER.

Every time doctor collects a fee he adds 10 his illgotten gains
 ''If you see man walking out of the house with an umbrella under his arm, that doesn't mean a storm, necessarily" Crimsonbeak-We if it's my umbrella he's walking out with, it does.
 Questionable Guest-Waiter, am in a great hurry, and would like to know what there is that you would require the least time to bring me? Waiter Well, dunno, sir, unless it might be y'or bill, sir
 And what do you call the little brother that the doctor left last week at your house?" inquired Johnny } teacher as the small boy appeared 2f Sunday school We hain't give him any reg'la. name yet Pa calls him a little pink bunch of yell, was the re- sponse.
 Father, said the boy who was look ing pensiyely at the sunshine and lux Uiant foliage which told of approach ing June. What is i? Where do you suppose General Funston would be today if his father had punished him so that he was afraid to go in swimming?"
 The following note was recently re- eeiyed by an employer from an absent workman: "Hon0red Sir: I am sorry to say I cannot say when I shall be well enough to be able to come back to work The doctor says have in- formation of the left lung which I hope will meet with your approval. ''
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1899-10-04
GEMS OF THOUGHT.

Sooner or later the world comes round to see truth and do the right Hillard.
 There is n0 substitute for thorough going, ardent and sincere earnestness Dickens.
 Not to be able to bear poverty is a shameful thing, but not to know how to chase it away oy work is a more shameful thing yet.-Pericles.
 Itis by the goodness of God that we have the possession of three unspeak~ ably precious things-freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence of using neither of them Mark Twain.
 Some men are very entertaining for a first interview, but after that they are exhausted and run out; on sec- ond meeting We shall find them very fiat and monotonous; like hand or gans, we have heard all their tunes Cotton
 If religion is to be tried by any out ward test that is surely to be found in the answer to the questioA, not how B man dies but how he lives. It will be well for those who believe in Chris tiantty to leave no advantage to the sceptic in that species of a~gument.- Principal Caird.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1899-10-04
e A S T Ep R r A. Boar. the <1 The Nld f0d Haia AIwaB Bagga Signature ss Lsxz1zNzZzu
Not an Appropriate Epitaph.

Not an Appropriate Epitaph.
 An old Yorkshire farmer died The funeral being over, the widow decided to have a tombstone that should do credit both to the deceased and her. self. To the local stonemason she ex- plained her wishes: T don't want nothing out of tn way. but handsome and simple. Like this: William Will son.. Died Oct. 4th, 1896; aged 85; ''The good die young "'"
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1899-10-04
WIFE AS HIS SISTER.
HUSBAND MARRIED ANOTHER
 WOMAN.

Led to Do This by Lovo-she Played
 Her Part In Silence anu in Agony but at Length Left Her Home-A Strange Story. d
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1899-10-04
Broke Up the Show.

An actor tells of tragic experience he had recently while playing to an audience in a little town in southern Texas. In one of the scenes of the play, in which he acts the villain. he hides himself in a barrel, that he may listen to a conversation between the hero and heroine, whose future we'll being he is trying to destroy. In the town hall there was little if any property material. A barrel would do to conceal himself in, so 3. hired hand" was sent out to find one. He succeeded. He slipped in the barrel with ease. The man and the woman appeared, and while they were in the midst of an animated conversation there came a howl from the barrel that fairly shook the rafters. This was fol- lowed by the eaYesdropper crawling out with his hands to his face, and he in turn was followed by a swarm of wasps. The wasps got among the stage people and those in the audience, which created so much confusion that the show was broken up.
 Spanish Hebrews Aliens.
 Tn Spain Hebrews are not permitted to erect and maintain houses of wor- ship. They have no civil rights and
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1899-10-04
IN TEN COLORS SIZE 14x21 INCHES
will be published by.us shortly

heavy plated paper, in a form suitable for framing, by one of the largest art Autograph houses in America, in the famous French style of color plate work. Every American family will want one of these handsome pie lures of Admiral Dewey. It must be re- membered that this picture will be in no sense a cheap chromo, but will be an ex- ample of the very highest style of illuminat- ed printing It will be an ornament to any
 library or drawing room, Our readers can have the Dewey portrait AT WHAT IT
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1899-10-04

COSTS US NAMELY TEN CENTS PER COPY) by merely fill ing the coupon below and sending to this office AT ONCE There will be such demand for the portrait when is published
 that advise sending orders advance As copies desired be had coupon PROVIDING TEN CENTS IS SENT FOR EACH COPY. Write and address plainly and remit in coin Q postage stamps.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-16
The OLD FRONT GATE.

II Is forty years, this summer. since
youth of twenty-one,
When Katie smiled upon me, an our court
in days begun,
An the Posey county village love had made
to me so fair
That to Eden I'd a voted annexation theh
an there.
Katherine was like the county as regards
it's bonny name.
An was struggling for catch-as-catch-
can hold on fame.
Sweet dream of bliss. the wooing In the
dewy evens late
When we, leaning low for kisses, sprung
the hinges on the gate.
The months were slow in passing, as they
always are to youth,
But winter brought our plighting, spring
our wedding day. forsooth.
And We trotted double-harnessed, down
life's road with all of joy,
Though twas often rough an jolly as a
stretch o. corduroy
But life was full O. sweetness an our lives
were crowned with love,
Our hearts twined close together like the
vines that climbed above
The swinging length of tickets where we
used to finger late
And leaning low for kisses sprung the
hinges on the gate.
1t is forty years, come June-time. years
once tagging late have flown.
We've gate arched DER with roses an q
cottage of our own.
And there's trysts In twilight hours meath
the climbing roses vine.
Where our Katie lists story as her mother
listed mine.
But it's not to me romantic as twas thirty
years and ten.
1t didn't keep me broke fixing broken
hinges then!
But Jim's true. good fellow, and bonnie
girl is Kate,
And forty years may see him buying hinges
for his gate.
Roy Farrell Greene. in Detroit Free
Press.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-16

wants little gymnastics. The pipe
was made to go together as slick as
grease, you know"
"But it won't do it-ha! ha! hal"
laughed the nurse. IF he got two
joints together they'd fall apart as he
tried to fit the third. His antics with
those joints used to make me roar"
''He'd fool around for half an hour"
said the unknown, as his eyes began to
shine, ''and then he'd get mad. Do you
remember how he'd get the hammer
and saw and ak and crowbar and
screwdriver and other tools, and work
away until he had SCOT all over the
house?"
"And jaw his wife and kick the cat
and yell at the hired girl remem-
ber!"
''And he'd bark his shins, cut his fin
gers and pound his thumbs, and he'd
swear that the man who made that
stove-pipe ought to be pitchforked to
DEATH"
he'd jump up and down on the pipe,
and whack the stove with the hammer,
and it always ended in a family row
and the baby falling downstairs. All!
that stove-pipe joke with its variations
was good joke, and I should like
to see it revived. Did you ever meet the
man who invented that joker"
The patient gazed at her with cum
ming light in his eyes and smile
around his mouth, but he did not an
swear yes or no. She was laughing
softly to herself when he quietly said:
THE MOTHER-IN-LAw JOKE.
Not an hour before 1 was hurt / was
thinking of the mother-in-law joke,
which used to be good for any week in
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-16
SCIENCE AND INDUSTRY.

The total area of the coal fields in the
world is estimated at 471,s00 square
miles.
Japan has established at Yokohama
an imperial commercial museum, mod
eled after the one in Philadelphia.
The Clyde ship building returns for
the year just ended show that 125 vessels
were launched, representing an aggre-
gate tonnage of 234,S77.
Among the many things made now
adays of steel are bushel baskets, which
are stamped out in the ordinary form.
These baskets cost more than split
baskets, but they are more durable.
1t is estimated that about 100000
acres of land in the United States are
planted with vines, three-fourths of
them in bearing condition. In the
amount of wine raised New York state
ranks next after California.
In 1897 the number of Parisians bit
ten by animals believed to have hydro
phobia was LOGO. OF these only six
died, whereas before the use of the
Pasteur method of incubation the
number of fatal cases would have been
by the law of averages lat.
Iced chloroform, according to the
Medical Times, has been used as an
anesthetic in Prof. Shorburg's clinic in
the Julius hospital at Wurzburg, Ba-
varia, in over $4,000 cases without sim
gle unpleasant result. The advantages
claimed for this preparation of chloro-
form are the quickness of its action,
its comparative freedom from danger
and the absence of the nausea and de-
preston SO common with other anes-
theties.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-16

the year, and wondering if it would
ever be resurrected. You remember it,
don't you?"
81 should snile-ha ha! hal"
laughed the nurse. "Who Of us does
not remember? / used to read that
joke to my convalescents as tonic.
Let's see. How does it go?"
''Why, newly married man invites
his mother-in-law to come on for a
week. Size arrives to discover that his
wife is all run down, his cook incompe-
tent, his milxman dishonest and his
house sadly needing head. She takes
charge and bosses things, and the
newly married man has to give up his
latchkey, go down cellar TO smoke,
and"
'Ah! it all comes back to melt Ell
comes backl" interrupted the nurse,
THE mother-in-law waters the milk,
reduce the coffee and puts Jeems on
an allowance of Is cents week.
He comes home pretending to be i'll of
smallpox, but it won't work. He
starts fire, but he can't smoke her
out. He braces up and demands his
rights, but she sets down on him with
bump-ha! ha! ha! There are moth
ers-in-law still; why not have the
mother-in-law joke as Of yore?"
"Were ] to live" said the patient
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-16
EARLY TRAVEL BY RAIL.
When the Locomotive Was
I'm Its Infancy.

Travelling is now so easy, and USED
to be so difficult, that it is hard for us
to realize that the introduction of so
useful an improvement as the ''iron
horse" was not Immediately and uni
versally welcomed; but it was not. In
an old family letter are recorded the
impressions of an early traveller by rail,
after her first journey behind loco
motive.
''The speed is very terrifying" she
wrote, ''and the gathering and jolting
inconceivably unpleasant. The atmos-
phere is less oily than 1 expected; but,
on the other hand, there is so much
SCOT and CRIME upon everything, even
shortly upon the faces and hands of
the travellers. Then the appalling
screeches proceeding from the loco
motive engine, which ii gives out on
coming to stop and at other times are
most distressing and discordant.
ut is method of travel with but one
advantage, a saving of time; and with
more disadvantages than can be
enumerated, beginning as they do with
D<suSCI, diQ SouCiuuiuS With DIts
Between. cities of large population,
whence the necessities of business
force men to hasten to and fro, and for
the carrying of goods and merchandise,
the railroad is no doubt destined TO
fill useful position. But that it can
ever be employed for ordinary travel,
after public curiosity is satisfied, by
individuals of leisure and good per-
sonal habits-by gentlemen and gen.
| tlewomen, in short-or even by clean
~ and comfortable people not gently
bred, unless in cases of necessity, 1 can
not believe"
1t is easy to sympathize with this
dainty lady's dislike of CRIME and
noise, but what would she have said
could she have lived to ride in par
lor car, dine at a flying buffet, or sleep
away Journey of 800 or 400 miles, Sc
cluded in a comfortable berth?-
Youths Companion.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-16
OUTPUT OF GEMS.
United States Produce Precious
stones to the Value of
S16O,92O in 1898.

DIR. w. T. Day, chief nineralogist OF
The geological survey, has received
from George f. Kunz, the surveys ex-
pert, the annual summary of the gem
industry in the United States. There
has been an unprecedented increase in
the importation of cut diamonds and
great revival in business in precious
stones of all sorts. There were no ma
tive diamond finds recorded for this
country, but the importation of uncut
diamonds increased greatly, and there
was a corresponding development in
diamond cutting in the United States.
One of the most important domestic
developments was the finding of rock
crystals at Mokelumne Hill, Cal, of
such size and purity as to almost rival
those of Japan. These crystals have
been cut up to a diameter of seven
inches, remarkable size for that class
of work. The crystals are used in orna-
mental work and for fine grade of OPP.
teal lenses.
There has been decided increase in
the output of the sapphire mines of
Fergus county, Mont. Fine blue gems
up to two carrots have been found. In
the same locality new fields have been
opened and beautiful stones of wide
range of color produced.
The turquoise mines of New Mexico
have continued their development, and
new fields have been opened in Nevada
The production of turquoise fell OF
slightly between 1897 and 1898, but
promises to more than recover this
year. There have been finds of mag
nificent green tourmaline at Paris Hill,
Me-, and Dams Neck, Conn. The total
value of the gem output of the United
States for 1895 covering 40 varieties was
$160,920. Among the most important
were sapphire, $4,000; quartz crystal,
$4,000, and turquoise, $50,0OO.-Chi-
cago Chronicle.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-16

between the layers is sheet-iron or boot
leather he-he-"
HE considers it reflection on the
house and resents it with hot words.
Yes, 1 remember how it used to run. /
have had patients laugh over that joke
until 1 had to threaten 'em with dire
consequences. The railroad sandwich
came with the first railroad eating
house. 1t came to stay. 1t is still there.
1t is no better or worse than it was
Is years ago, but the papers have
dropped it as joke. Why, wonder?
Even now--ha! ha! hal"
'Yes-ha! ha! hal" laughed the pa
tent.
II used to wonder and wonder over
those jokes" said the nurse, as her
laughter died away--"wonder who
wrote them, you know. He must have
been a man without sorrow"
"Y-e-s," was the reluctant admis-
sion.
'And full of repartee."
Yes"
"But the jokes are dead, and the
funny man probably went to his grave
long time ago."
The patient looked at her in furtive
way and then closed his eyes. She sat
with smile on her face for several
minutes, but suddenly remembered
herself and rose and said:
But we want your identity, you see.
What is the name, please?'
"Just--just Unknown he replied.
"B4t that won't do. You are-are-"
"T man who wrote the jokes you
knowy They-they died, and II died,
and-I
And the nurse covered his face and
went to report him dead.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-16
* * <EE-sk--s*fs-
y "UNKNOWN" ,
4 The Morse Laughed with Him in His Dying Hour.
i By Nj QUAD. copyright,
* ~ e

do you know where you are?" asked
the nurse, as the patient opened his
eyes and looked around in wonder.
"In hospital, guess" he slowly
answered.
"Yes; you were brought here four
days ago, after the railroad wreck. We
haven't got your name yet and the
ticket on your bed is marked: I'm
known.
81 shall not get well" he said. after a
moment.
.'sNo, your hours are numbered. Do
you wish me to write down any mes
sage for your"
THE sTOyE-PIPE JOKE.
do you remember the stove-pipe
joker" queried the patient, as q wan
smile crossed his face. 1.-THE funny pa
pers used to run it Is years ago."
II remember" replied the nurse, as
her face frightened up.
Good joke that was. 1t always ap-
peared in the papers about the LIST OF
October. Householder starts in after
supper to put up the coal stove for the
winter. Six joints of pipe and an elbow.
Wife suggests a tinsmith, but husband
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-16

from his shoulders. With one hand
waving them back and the other REIN
ing his horse to a stand, he cried:
ssIlalt!"
They obeyed like one man. They had
followed that gray head up the CORY
heights of Gettysburg and through the
dark mazes of the tangled Wilderness.
The old tone of command had revived
for an instant the force of long dor
mant habit and the general had gained
the moment he desired. AS they gath
cred about him he alternately pleaded,
argued and threatened. Somewhere in
a distant cabin, an old ncgress, all un-
conscious of the impending storm, was
singing in quavering voice:
Stairs In de elements shine so bright.
Shine des lax my Saviour's light.
I'm gwine ter jine de Heaben an de beau.
tiful home,
Beautiful ho-oh-ome, beautiful ho-oh-ome.
I'm gwine ter jine de Heaben an de beau
tiful home"
In imagination, she was singing again
"ter de missus' chill'un cen de big
'ousc." and the children, now bearded
men, heard her and were touched.
Lets take him and let the fool Mig
gers go" said the man with the shot
gun, pointing to the candidate.
The general considered moment.
Was it not better that this stirrer up of
strife should perish and the people have
peace? He looked at the candidate.
Underneath the heavy beard and the
lines that scanned the face he could
still see the lineaments of the boy who
had pitied him and taken his beating
in the old schoolhouse so many years
before.
A man began unwinding rope from
the horn of a saddle. The generals
hand slid to his hip pocket and he
threw up his head. defantly.
IF you take John you'll have to take
me, too,r he said, abruptly.-N. Y. In
dependent.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-16

with touch of pathos in his voice
'.were I to live on"
"Poor boy!" she sighed, as she pat
ted him ON the shoulder. IF you feel
strong enough now you might give me
your name and address, etc."
"a joke" he said after awhile, and
paying no attention to her request-"a
good joke ought to live on through all
seasons and all changes of politics.
That mother-in-law joke could be
shaped in about 20 different direc-
tions, and I can't understand why 1t
went to the wall. Watch for 1t, how
ever. Old things often become new.
This craze for antiquities may bring the
newly married Jeems and his mother
in-law to the surface any fine morn
ing"
They'd be old friends and warmly
Welcomed" chuckled the nurse
THE RAILROAD SANDWICH JOKE.
sAnd you must remember the rail-
road sandwich joker" queried the pa
tient, as he looked languidly at the
clock on the wall across the ward.
''Of course-of course-ha! ha! hal"
laughed the nurse. 1T is years since l
saw it in print, but the recollection
makes me laugh. 1t was touch and go
between that and the stove-pipe joke"
t'But always seasonable-always sea-
sonable. You could write it up for
January or July, and it always brought
laugh. There are railroads to-day
more railroads and more railroad eat
ing houses than IS or 20 years
ago, and why should the railroad sand
witch joke have dropped out of the
papers?"
81 can't understand. / have known
20 convaleseents to laugh over that
joke. ought to have preserved it in
scrap-book form. Let's see if Iremem-
Der it correctly. A railroad passenger
rushes into an. eating house where
there is only ten-minute stop and
grabs for cup of coffee in one hand
and sandwich with the other. AS
he bites into the sandwich there is a
crash, and"
"That's correct" smiled the un-
known-''he breaks tooth and yells
out and dances around"
sand he demands of the boss wheth-
er he is making sandwiches of flag
stones or mahogany"
And the boss replies that the bread
is less than week old, and seems
greatly astonished."
Just so, and when asked if the meat
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-16

heard, for it is not pleasant to find ones
neighbor dead in the highway and feel
that ones own turn may come next;
so they crowded through the gap and
moved silently toward the light of the
fire. AS they drew near they halted
in the shadows of the low pines and
listened. A white mana candidate
for congress-stood on dry goods box
addressing gathering of negroes. 1t
was near election day.
"There are more negroes than there
are whites in this district" he was
saying. 'Why is it, then, that you cam
not elect your candidate? I'll tell you.
It's because they have taken your right
to vote with their cursed registration
laws"
''Trufe, Lord" echoed half-dozen
voices.
1T is the truth. Now, if you want
to see Tue elected, if you want to fill
these post Offices that white men now
fill, if you want the money that the
white MIN now gets, if you want to live
in a big house and let him live in a
cabin, go to the polls Tomorrow and
vote. This country belongs to you.
Rise and take it. Stand up for me
and I'll stand up for you. You are not
afraid of the white man! You are as
free as he is! Go to the polls and vote.
If any man asks for your registration
ticket, show him your gun!"
A chorus of ''Dat's de talk!" "Heaf
him tell it'll" 'Now you'se talkin'!" in
terrupted The speaker.
"Guess we've heard about enough, =
said the man with the shotgun, spur
ring his horse forward. The horse
stumbled and negro on the edge OF
the crowd shouted:
"Look at dem whate men out dar!'
'sLord massyl Wharf" yelled a
fat negress, leaping from her seat on
an upturned bucket.
A CHASTITY pallor spread over the face
of the candidate. He knew that a man
lay dead back there in the road, knew
whose words had neryed the black men
to their deed; knew, ay, well knew
the temper of the men who now drew
near and could almost hear the clock
of fate ticking away the seconds OF
his life. But he was no coward, SO hi
stood with folded arms, watching the
affrighted negroes run hither and
thither-and waited. Close about the
box on which he stood a few of the
holder ones gathered with guns in
their hands. These guns would bt
their death warrants. He felt toucl
of belated pity for them, for he hat
brought them to this and for his OWL
ends. For himself he cared nothing
He had been an Ishmaelite for long
time, and the game had gone against
him, that was all. He heard the clicl
of the gunlocks and barring his head h'
Strengthened himself. At any rate, hi
would die decently.
A man on a black horse charged
through the blazing fire and straigh
toward the approaching line. Ills gray
head was bare and his cloak blew wide