The Florence daily tribune. (Florence, Colo.) 1898-1903, 1899-02-14
POPULAR PROVERBS.
SOME THAT ARE FAIRLY BRlMFUL OF
ABSURDlTY.
sinsims often Quoted aud Mt Times
Advanced rs Argument which Have
Neither vii Nor Wisdom to Com
mend Tb-m-Contradictor Sayings.

mend Them-Contradictor Sayings.
There is a mistaken notion abroad
says writer in London Tit-Bits. that
/ proverbs are epitomes of wisdom. the
concentrated experience of generations.
/ and that to quote one of them in dis
/ cussion is to advance an unanswerable
argument. And yet what is there to
recommend many of them beyond their
/ jinglel Take our familiar friend;
Early to Bed and Early to Rise. Makes
"a Man Healthy. Wealthy and Wise 49,
Obviously. the main idea was to find a
word to rhyme with rise, and wise
was the unfortunate word chosen. And
now. trustful little boys are persuaded
| TO go TO bed at unreasonably early hours
I in the hope of becoming a sort of San
/ dow Rothschild- Solomon. though we
all know milkmen and market garden
ers who get up at . a. IN and are nei-
ther rich nor clever. and members Of
( parliament who go to bed late and are.
if not clever, at least not poor and in
| firm. Since the invention of gas and
/ electric light this ridiculous old proverb
/ has Outlived it's original modicum of
truth. and proves We must not venerate
proverbs on account of their hoary an
/ tiquity.
The Early Bird Catches the Worm.
! The mistake made here is that il assumes
we are all birds But some of us are
worms, II we were not, what would
become of the birdsr And. therefore.
while the birds do well to be early. let
the worms be late-the later the better
- "a
Is Broken at Last. Note, it does not say
lis broken first. but sis broken at
last. " OF course. every pitcher wheth
er it goes to the well or stays ON the
shelf is broken mt last, and the only re-
suit of this absurd proverb is to encour
age lazy folk to do as little work as pos
sible and unnecessarily keep out of
harm = way.
If You Want Thing Well Done, Do
| 1t Yourself. There shocking bad ad
vice with which to start youth on
life's journey If he wants button
well sewed on. he's to do it himself; if
he wants his hair well cut he's to cut
/ it himself He must mend his own
chairs, shoe his own nag, darn his own
socks. In short from buying horse to
| backing his boots, he must do it him
self. Poor fellow
A Contented Mind Is a Continual
| Feast. any one say what that
meansH Does it mean that the owner
continually feasts ON his contented mind
or that the contented mind is contin-
ually feastings Probably the latter, as
we sometimes hear that "a hungry
/ - nd pra
that a satisfied appetite is the source of
contentment Hence it is not the con
tented mind which makes the feast. as
the silly proverb implies, but the con
tinual feast which produces the con
tented mind. Hra
There's No Rule Without an Excep-
ton. This is not only proverb; it is
also rule. But obviously there is no
exception to this rule, because if there
were rule with an exception this
proberb would be untrue. But the prov
erb is rule which has no exception.
which, as Mr.. Euclid would say. is alb
surd. Which was to be shown.
Where Ignorance Is Bliss, tbs Folly
to Be Wise.-For oracular stupidity
this proverb may be classed with the
one about the pitcher. Granting it true.
the difficulty is to know where igno-
rance is bliss and of course the prov
erb gives no assistance where it is
most needed. Most people quote it as
Ignorance is bliss in their blissful
ignorance, but if a proverb gives rise
to error it is not only absurd; it is also
dangerous. When people say
A Little Learning Is Dangerous
Thing-They make that a reason not
for learning more, but for learning less.
| Love Me. Love My Dog If l go
accounting, and my ladylove bids me love
her scented, dyspeptic poodle, which is
not necessary to her health and comfort,
must | not much more love her glass
eye and false teeth and hair, which are ?
/ Yet common sense revolts at the notion,
and | therefore assume that proverb
which, logically treated, makes such
unreasonable demands on my affections
is wrong and absurd.
! Seeing Is Believing. How can any re-
fiecting person repeat these words? For
very often we believe we see what real
ly we do not If a conjurer We're to take
this proverb as his motto, every one
| Wouiu see us ausurulty. a stralSut
stick half submerged in water looks
crooked. Fortunately, another proverb
says, Trust not to appearances. And
this bring us to the exquisite absurdity
of popular proverbs which run in con
Trajectory pairs and support both sides
of an argument Thus one proverb says.
Look before you lisp" another,
"Who hesitates is lost. Sometimes we
hear that Second thoughts are best !"
at other times that Delays are danger
GUS. The desperate man relies on
Nothing venture, nothing have" the
/ cautious man on Never venture out of
| your depth till you can swim. The
| impatient matrimonial candidate be
lieves that "Happy's the wooing that $
not long a-doing;" the tardy one that
one may Marry in haste and repent at