Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-13

4 Washington merchant, finding NM
self in need of the services Of q boy in
his establishment, put 2 card in his win
dow bearing the usual inscription, and,
though many called in response to it, none
had been chosen up TO : O'Clock IN the af-
ternoon. At that hour a little, Wiry chap
of ID summers, with sharp eyes. q foxy
nose with freckles Oh it, and a sandy suit
of hair, came III and asked about the sign
in the window. He was escorted to the
manager OF the boy department.
I'VE want a boy said the manager
looking hin C,er critically.
I'm a boy" the youngster explained,
briefly.
What can you do?" inquired the man
ager.
Most anything, 1 guess, that a boy
can do around. l have been working for
more than year now.
''Where?>
In Mr. Blanks place. You know he's
broke up"
We'll, we want boy, but so far we
haven't been able TO find what we are
looking for"
What is it you are looking for?''
I'VE want q boy that is honest, indus
triouS and diligent. He must always be
on time and must not run on the streets,
nor play marbles for keeps, nor tell stO-
ries. nor smoke cigarettes. nor fight other
poSS AoI pltiy Van VII CuliubS. lcL GSt
bad language. nor play tricks on the 9TH
er boys in the store. nor get into any
kind Of mischief during business hours.
He must be neat in his appearance, his
clothes must be kept tidy at all times,
his face and hands be clean and his shoes
be we'll shined In addition
Hold on, mister" interrupted the
youthful applicant: you amt looking for
a boy; you're lookin' for Sunday-schOol
song, and | guess | won't suit. SO long"
And the boy went out whistling Break
the News to Mother
-:O:-
''Where is your papa, NeIHe?" asked a
mother of her little daughter. He's out
on the back porch was the reply.
mother. His bicycle is all out OF
breath. and he's putting some more in
answered the small observer.
II was in the midst of the peace jubilee
and the editor was the busiest individual
in town, says the Washington Star, but
the visitor got in on him, and, what
was worse, sat down and showed other
signs Of remaining, none OF which the
editor encOura ged.
Excuse me- said the visitor of his
own volition, but can't l ask you an
important question?
What is it?' responded the editor
without looking up from his work. which
is always 4 sign that anybody ought 70
understand.
Amt this a peace jubilee We're having
IN this tOWn?'
1T certainly is
And a peace jubilee is a celebration
Of peace, ain it:'
EXACTLY"
And peace means that war is off,
don't it,"
.''Of course it does
"And that the olive branch is hanging
low, and that everybody is falling on
everybody else's neck, and that every
body is glad the war clouds have rolled
by: and that good-fellowship is now pre-
vailing everywhere, and that every
bosom throbs responsive TO the gentle
coo OF the dove, and that everybody is
wearing white wings, and that there
won't be any more scraps. and that ev-
erybody is kissing anG making up; it
means that. don't it?''
Exactly responded the editor.
pleased to discover so comprehensive a
knowledge from such an unsupported
quarter.
7 thought So said the visitor, rising.
"Tll go back home and tell my wife
didn't believe she knew it had hap
pened. Good morning" And the Wis
itOr went out before the editor had time
to extend his sympathy.
-:O:-
Gentleman (who has engaged aged col
ored hackman to drive him from the sta
ton to the hotel)-"Say, uncle, what's
your name!
Driver-''My name, sab, is George
Washington.
Gentleman George Washington.
Why, that name seems familiar
Driver-''Well, To- de Lawd's sake l
should think it ought to. Here | have
been drivin' to this station fo bout
twenty years, sab. Harlem Life.
Messrs Maxwell and Simpson, vaude-
vile artists, arrived in Chicago recently
with their wives. AS Sam Simpson,
with two big satchels in his hand, was
about to descend the car steps at the
Polk street depot says the Chicago Jour
nal, man got in his way and two others
| crowded him slightly from behind.
KINDLY let me pass said Mr.. Simp-
son.
"Oh. pardon me-" said the other po-
litely as he stepped to one side.
When Mr.. Simpson reached in his
pocket to get his trunk checks he found
they were gone and with them 5000 in
bills he carried in the same pocket.
Mr.. Simpson related his costly introduce
ton into Chicago to Paul Dresser. the