davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times., 1899-09-29
SPECIAL NOTICES.

THE coRcoRAN SCHOOL OF ART
The session of lS99-19O0 will com
mence on MONDAY, OCTOBER 2, 1899
Applications for admission must be made
al the school. corner New York Avenue
and Seventeenth Street. after October /,
1899. f. S. BARBARIN, Curator.
se26-5t
The times., 1899-09-29
Mrs. Martha Johnson,s Funeral.

The funeral OF Mrs. Martha A. johnson, who
died in New York Tuesday morning, took place
yesterday morning from the New Church, at Six
teenth and Co-coran Streets northwest. Rev.
Frank Sewall, pastor OF the church, officiated.
The interment at Rockford Cemetery.
The times., 1899-09-29
A NeYv shne Store

B. A. waggaman & Co. is the name of new
mems shoe store that will open in a few days
FOR business at 1871 Street. Mr. b. A. Wagga-
man is well known to the Washington public
having seen many years Of service with the lead
ing shoe houses in the city. He is an expert
shoemaker, and viii make a speciality OF selling
a grade Of $3.50 mems shoes. The best wishes
of his friends extended to him in his new
venture.
The times., 1899-09-29
That Throbing Headache

Would quickly leave you if you used Dr. Kings
New Life Pills Thousands OF sufferers have
proved their matchess merit for Sick and Nervous
Headaches They make pure blood and strong
nerves and build up your health. Easy to take.
Try them. Only 25 cents Money back if not
cured. Sold by Henry Evans, Druggist, 9S8 f
Street
The times., 1899-09-29
His Drowning Accidental.

Deputy Coroner Glazebrook yesterday morning
viewed the remains of John Gottfried, who was
found drowned in the marshes of the Eastern
Branch near the Navy Yard Bridge Wednesday
night. The coroner gave certificate of death
from accidental drowning
The times., 1899-09-29
Faculty of Philosophy.

Edward Lee Greene, LII. D., Dean.
Offers to graduates Of coIlges and to other prop
erly qualified persons excellent opportunities Tor
pursuing studies in Philosophy, Psychology, Eng
lish, Latin, Greek, Kettle, Semitic, Egyptian.
Sauscrit, Comparative Philology, Chemistry Phys
les, Mechanics. Astronomy, Mathematics. Botany,
Economics, Sociology, and Politics These courses
lead to the degrees Ph. NJ and Pin. ID.
The times., 1899-09-29

Heurich's Maerzen, Senate, and Lager lead
them all in purity. age, and strength These are
the kind Of beverages you should drink because
beers with these important qualities are whole
some. Phone 634, Arlington Bottling Co for a
case Of HeuricIl's
The times., 1899-09-29
GENERAL HETH's oBsEoUIEs.
The Remains Taken to Richmond, I,
Va. for Interment.

Va, for Interment.
The funeral of the late Gen. Henry Heth
was conducted yesterday morning at 10
o'clock, from Epiphany Church, in G Street,
near Thirteenth Street, and was attended
by Union as well as Confederate army vet
Grams, and by delegations from the Order
of the Cincinnati, the Sons of the Revolu-
tion, the Mexican Veterans, the Society OF
the United Wars, and the Masonic Order
The Episcopal service for the dead was
read by Rev. Mr.. Wood, assistant rector of
the church, assisted by Rev. Mr.. Turner,
of st. Michael and All Angels Church.
The remains were taken to the Pennsyl-
vania station at IL o'clock, and escorted
TO Richmond. Va, by committee of the
Confederate Veterans Association, consist
ing of Franklin Mackey, President; Major
j. ID. Darden, Capt. H. B. Littlepage, Capt,
G. H. Ingraham, Leigh Robinson. w. C.
King. and fifteen others.
Tie TalQer safeTS TeT5 Cen
games LBusr~G5 ecu 4lnassy Loraax,
Gen. q. Arus r0ng General RrcRer.
MAJOR James A g7 jugs Easusr Hen.
= 81 CHrTF and ea. u G. Butler.
The active yalibearers wsTe Robert
g ReHek. Charles Moore, DR..
NASH ? II. FinlIey iT, and Rich
al7 * Campbell
Tae no-al offerings by the Confederate
Veterans Association consisted o. r pii-
.ow bearing .ho inscription. Taps, in
immortelles. The floral tributes from 9TH
er societies and friends were many and
elaborate
The times., 1899-09-29
SchooI of Law.

FACULTY:
Hon. MARTIN F. MORRIS, LID
(Associate justice Court OF Appeals Of the District
of Columbial,
Lecturer Comparative Jurisprudence
Hon SETH SHEPARD IL D.
associate Justice Court os Appeals OF the District
Of Columbis).
Lecturer on Constitutional Law. the Law OF Cor
porations and Equity jurisprudence.
Hon. JEREMIAH NJ. WILSON Ill. D.,
Dean q the Faculty.
Hon. LOUIS z. McCOMAS IL d.
(f4ate Associate Justice Supreme Court OF the Dis
tTict OF Coumbia),
Lecturer on the Law Of Contracts ard the Law OF
Evidence.
Hon. CHARLES C. COLE
associate Justice Supreme Court OF the District
OF Columbial.
Lecturer on Common Law Practice Equity Plead
ing ard Practice, and Partnership.
GEORGE e. HAMILTON, LII. D.,
Lecturer Testamentary Law.
Il. ROSS PERRY. A. NJ, Ill. D.,
Lecturer on Common Law Pleading. CriminI
Law. and Domestic Relations
Rev. RENE holland. 3 j.
Lecturer on Natural Law
TALLSAD6E A. LAMBERT. Ii. D.,
Lecturer Civil Law.
CHARLES a. DOUGLASS, A. B., LII. B.,
Lecturer on the Law Of forts and Negotiable Pa
MICHAEL J. COLBERT, A. NJ. IL VI,
Lecturer on the Law cf Personal Property.
d. w BAKER, A. M-, L. NJ,
Judge OF the Circuit Court and Lecturer tina
Law OF Real Estate
J. NOTA McGiLI. IL M
(Regfster nf Wills for the District OF Columbia)
Lectures on Probate Practice.
Court OF Appeals. MesSfs TALLMADGE A.
LAMBERT, JOB BARNARD. and LEIGH ROBIN.
SON
Examiners: Messrs. J. ALTHEIS JOHNSON
and HENRY W. SOH0N.
Clerk OF Courts: HARRY ". HODGES, liz n
Quiz Masters: r. ROSS PERRY, IT,, A. NJ, IL.
NJ, and L. RICHARD SIuPP, LII. NJ
SAMUEL NJ. YEATMAN, A. NJ,
Secretary and Treasurer
CHARLES r. YEATMAN, L. NJ, Assistant.
The thirtieth annual session opens on wednes-
day, October 4, 1899, at ESQ p. m, in the Law
School Building, Nos. 500 and sos Street north
west, at which time announcements viii be made
for the ensuing terul- All interested cordially
invited to be present
The Secretary viii be at his offce in the Law
building daily from to p. M, for information,
enrolment. pa. ment Of fees, etc.
The undergr -duate course covers three years. A
Post Graduate Course is available to holders OF
the degree Of Bachelor of Laws.
Circulars can be obtained at the book store oi
W. II. Morrison Sons 1890 Street northwest;
Lowdermilk & Co., 1924 Street northwest, and
John Byrne & Co. 1922 Street northwest; Wash
ington Law Book Co., 1922 Street, and at w. 8
Thcmpson's drug store, 7O3 18th Street northwest,
OF ueon application to the undersigned
S. N. YEATNAs.
The times., 1899-09-29
THIS PAPER is PRINTED

~ ni;h INK FURNISHED ty JAENEohE Ehu,. n FIR
kCHyEEEANN New York City. my2i-tf-en
The times., 1899-09-29
TSMAN!

Evening lessons in drafting and mathematics:
legin September IS. az 5S1 5th ST. me- ses-1mO
The times., 1899-09-29
School of Technology.

Daniel ". Shea, Ph. D., Director
Prepares young men who have completed a col
legiate education or who have the equivalent
training, for careers in Civil, Electrical and Ne
chanical Engineering. The courses lead 10 the
degrees c. E., E. E., NJ. f., NJ. S, and Sc. ID.
Rooms in Keane Hail. on the university grounds,
from 50 to SD per month Beard in Keane Hall
Dining-room, SIS per month.
Year Book, giving full account of the courses.
etc, mailed free upon application TO the General
Secretary The administration offices in McSiahon
Hall are open from 9;30 a N. to u noon. and
from to p. m. se26-I0t-am
The times., 1899-09-29
Saint Cecilia Academy,

Cor. Sixth and East Capitol SITS.
FOR B0ARDERS AND DAY SCHOLARS
Glasses will be resumed MONDAY, SEPT. 11Tn
All branches of solid English education thor.
oughly taught; also Latin. Greek, French, and
German Special attention paid to art and TO
music vocal and instrumental. including stringed
instruments. gel-lmo-em
The times., 1899-09-29
Graduate School.

Lectures res.ned on MONDAY, October 2
For information and catalogue address
THE REV. JOHN ID. WHITNEY, s j., Rector
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-07-09

III believe life Dr. Pierces remedies and have long
felt duty deep heartfelt gratitude to and
acknowledge the benefit received from DR. Perces Favore
Prescription Pleasant Pellets says Mrs Maria O. Hayzel
writing from Brook1and D. c. vSx after the birth of
children left weak rundown condition My
health seemed utterly gone suffered from female
weakness rheumatism and suffered everything could
suffer from these complaints Life burden doctored with
three different physicians and relief tried several patent
medicines all with the result began get and to
add the complications suffered terribly from constipation
CHANGED your advertisements and concluded
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-07-09
WHY SHE HATED BLOOMERS.
Newly Engaged Maid Remembered Long
and Bitter Experience.


81 hate the very name OF boomers. /"
He gazed at her in surprise. He
couldn't understand why she should
say such a thing, for during the three
days of their summer engagement he
had found her anything but prude.
Only the night before he had sat with
her in the hammock, and when the
gentle evening breAze had swayed the
frail network swing she had given a
little frightened scream ana held on
highland it wasn't ON the hammock
she held, either.
Eyes" she repeated, II hate bloom
ers. Before you came into my life,
dear, often have l climbed that hill
and strained my eyes down the rosd
that leads from the station. But day
after day | gazed in vain. Not a sight
Of a man had seen in this wilderness
until your coming turned it into a
paradise"
But why do you hate boomers, my
dear?" he asked.
Why do hate them?" she repeated
bitterly. "Ah. you don't know what ii
is to be girl and TO watch and walt,
day after day, for a man. Twenty
times at least have I seen on the brow
of that distant bill what was sure was
man. | have cried and shouted for
joy. And then--and then--just when
happiness seemed mine the hateful
thing has turned out to be woman.
Why do / hate boomers? On, the
very thought of them, Put your other
arm around me. dear, or I'll fall out OF
this hammock. Judge.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-07-09

stereotyped reply. Can any boy give
me better definition?" said the bish-
op. go to the devil, me lord" cried
a bright little boy at the end of the
class. A youth in another confirmation
class was asked the meaning of "a
clear conscience" at names a clane
inside was the reply. A school in
spector told me that while examining
a class of small boys in geography in
a national school in remote part of
Ireland, he put the question, What is
a lake?' Sure, It's the hole in a
kittle, sur said one of the youths. 1t
was the only lake" with which he was
acquainted A little boy was caught
by an irate farmer up in one of his
apple trees Come down this in
slant" reared the farmer, land III
give you a sound box of the ear, you
bPguard' 'Troth, sur, | wouldn't
come down If you'd give me a dozen"
was the reply.
Irish domestics are widely noted for
their simplicity and their quaint re-
marks. A lady desiring to make the
most of her choice tap of table beer.
the merits of which her servants had
discovered, for it disappeared rapidly,
thus addressed her Irish butler: DAILY,
what do you think would be the best
thing to do in order to save this beer
as much as possible?" well, ma am"
replied the butler, 81 don't think you
could do better than to place barrel
of good strong ale close beside of it"
An Irish girl called at a house in Lon
don in answer to an advertisement for
a general servant. Have you a char
acter?" asked the mistress. Indeed,
ma'am, I'm sorry to say I've no char
acter. | had a beautiful wan whin |
left Ireland, but lost it the night /
steamer" was the laconic reply. An
Irish man-servant was discovered in
a lie. On being accused by his master
of stating what was not the truth. he
excused himself by saying: Please,
sur, lost my presence Of mind"
An Irish disPensary doctor told me Of
an old woman who. being dissatisfied with
another local practitioner, transferred The
care OF all her bodily ailments to him so
you prefer my medicines to those OF Dr..
Delany.' he said to her ons. Och, Indeed.
doctor, dear" she replied, 'ye're a dale
betther than that other ouid humous and
inposther.' drunken man was stag
gering home with a sober friend. Come
on. Pat" said the latter: come on: the
road is long" II know its .long.'' said
Pat. as he lurehe1 from side to side but
it's not the length Of it. but the breadta of
it that's KILN me- beggarman called
on q shopkeeper in Tralee, and. having
told pitiful tale OF children starving ct
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-07-09

with their brains the likes of him fills
their pockets"
l think it will be admitted that these
pressions-absurd, quaint, auda-
cious, whimsical and extravagant-
which rise spontaneously and incess-
antly to the lips of the Irish peasantry
have charm just as subtle and just
as delicious as the most brilliant
dashes of wit and humor A woman
went to her parish priest in Belfast
and complained of the conduct of her
husband. He drank all his wages, he
beat her frequently, and he rarely
went to mass on Sundays. "Is the man
a Catholic at all?" asked the priest,
Mortified at the long litany of the hus-
bands iniquities. "Musha, yer river
enoe, it's too good a Catholic he is,
was the wife's comical reply. IF my
Tim had his way he'd knock the head
off all the Protestants between here
and Dublin!" An old peasant woman
who spoke little English was examin-
ed by her priest-who told me the
story-as to her knowledge of the doc
trines of the Catholic church. She
was asked, among other questions, to
repeat the names of the Trinity.
Father, Son." she replied, and then
after pause she added: Fax. yer
reverence, l forgit the name of the
other gintleman." A friend of mine
found two countrymen in the dust of
the highway The uppermost was
humping the lowermost. My friend
said: Let him get up. lis a cow
ardly thing to hit fellow when he
is down." The victor painted Eyer
honor'd niver be after askin' me to let
him up av We knew the trubble l had
to down him" The governor. Of a
prison in Limerick told me an anus
ing story of a refractory prisoner with
whom he had once to deal. The man
refused to work on the treadmill, and
was brought before the governor for
disobedience of the warder's orders.
The governor asked him what objec-
ton he had to working on the tread
mill. Me go on the treadmin,' he
cried. 'fNiver. SOFT" And, proudly
drawing himself up. he added: I'D
rather lave the jail first"
The boy being father to the men, the
same quality of unconscious humor is
to be found among the youth of Ire
land. A Roman Catholic bishop was
examining a class of schoolboys in the
doctrines of the church preparatory to
the administration of confirmation.
What is cursing?" he asked one youth.
Wishing i'll to a neighbor," came the
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-07-09

home, asked for copper. The shop
keeper, suspecting that the man wanted
the money for drink, exclaimed, BE eff
out of that! 1 know your game. You're
collecting subscriptions for public house"
The newly welded wife of a Westmeath
landlord, desiring to act the rsrt of a
Lady Bountiful had a school house erected
on the estate and supplied the erstwnile
barefooted children with shoes and stock
ings. One day the lady met a woman who
asked her for some favor which she was
unable to grant. AN is that the thanks
get for maxim me children wear shoes
and go to school to PLACE ye?" was the
womans indignant comment.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-07-09

had Just been around the globe. entered
into conversation with him. II you Will
believe 1t, the only thing he could tell me
was that he had wonderful collection of
souvenir spoons which he had gathered one
by one from the various places he had
visited. His chief delight during the whole
voyage was in exhibiting his spoons to any
one who would look at them. They filled
a case two feet square and foot thick,
and one of the stewards told me that they
weighed something less than half ton.
OF course that was an exaggeration, but
those spoons were the sole fruits of a
years sojourn in the most interesting
countries in the world. That man was a
type of one class of travellers. and there
are hundreds just like him, though they
don't all go in for collecting spoons
Among the queer types of the men one
meets on the sea is the seedy actor who
is crossing in the second cabin, but who in
sists on using the first cabin deck for his
promenades and who won't enter into con-
versation with any but first cabin passen-
gers. The dignity of this individuals man.
ner is never seen anywhere except in the
second cabin of the oceaL liner. Let the
same man cross the next year on first
class ticket and he will act much like other
people.
Then there is the young man with a
voice, who is always screeching in the mu-
sic room to the accompaniment of any girl
whom he can get to play for him. He and
the girl, who plays badly, monopoize the
piano for the whole voyage. Their most in
terested listener is the happy-go-iucky
Westerner, who applauds loudly at the end
of their worst performance. This type of
Westerner is favorite of mine. He is one
of the few men that | ever invite to come
up on the bridge with me. His table man
ners are not all that may be desired by the
fastidious, but his heart Is in the right
place. The woman who goes on deck load
ed with diamonds and wearing fyaway
hat stares my friend the Westerner out of
countenance when he tries to enter into
conversation with her, and the supercili-
Gus. much-traveled Engishman, regards
him with patronizing tolerance; but ev-
cry baby on board will go to him from the
arms of its mother or it's nurse, and the
older children fall all over each other in
their struggle for the honor of sitting on
his knee. Inside of two days he is friends
with everybody on the ship except the pro-
fessional gambler. who crosses back and
forth on the sea for the sole purpose of
playing poker in the smoking room with
inexperienced young men. This man fights
shy of my friend the Westerner, for they
are at the two extreme poles of the scale
of nature, and ranged along between them
are all the other types of ocean travellers
that [ have been talking about"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-07-09
QUEER TYPES OF
OCEAN TRAVELLERS
Here's the Place to See Human
Nature UnadOrned.
ali the Natural Characteristics Seem
to Be Brought Out by the
Sea Air.

Talk about getting a knowledge OF
human nature" said the captain OF
one of the big ocean liners the other
day, there isn't any other business
that can give one in twenty years the
experience in reading character that
man can get in six months as omcer
of one of the popular transatlantic
boats, and he won't have to neglect MS
duties to get it, either, for there is
something about the sea that reiaxes
people and lets their true natures shine
out.
81 have carried more freaks across
the ocean than one could find in all
the dime museums of the country put
together. 1t seems to me that there IS
no type of civilized creature that
doesn't some time or other find its way
on board a boat &c Liverpool, from
the thin-legged dude with the sloplng
FOREHEAD, who always wears gloves on
deck and changes his clothes four
times a day, to the little earnest-faced
girl missionary who is going to waste
her youth and sweetness in trying to
convert Hottentots in some outlandish
place in Africa.
Failing in love, however, is subject
ON which sea captain can give points
to most anybody. There is something
about the sea that beats spring all
hollow in making young mans fam
cy lightly turn to thoughts of love. l
can tell from the droop of young fell
lows eyelid which particular girl he
is going to fall in love with for the
voyage On one trip l had bet With
the mate that on the first day | could
pair off half a dozen couples who
would be promenading the hurricane
deck in the moonlight on the fourth
night out, and l struck it right in every
case but one, and that particular girl
was so seasick that she couldn't come
on deck In finding out hidden affini-
ties a seaman can give cards and
spades to any matrimonial agent above
ground. There are several happy fam
lilies that invite me to dinner with them
nearly every time am in New York on
the strength of their match having been
made on board my ship.
Though the seaman always has a
soft spot in his heart for lovers, they
are not nearly as interesting to the
student of human character as some of
the other types of ocean travelling. The
captains bette noir is the man with the
weather. beaten face, who seems to be
crossing the sea with the sole purpose
Of watching the log and giving the
captain advice as to the, best way of
sailing the ship. If the log posted up at
noon on the main companionway
shows ten miles less than schedule
time the self-appointed adviser seeks
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-07-09
DR.. PIePee's EavoPI1e Prescription.
Suffered Everything One Could Suffer. y

remedies commenced I'd take Dr. Perces Favorte
Prescription and Pleasant Pellets and began to improve right
away continued improving and gaining strength
reief Seven months latter little
without much trouble feel that would
have been able endure confinement only the help due solely
DR. She fine healthy child and
one have ever She old
had to take medicine since feel medicine
has made lasting with much i'll thanks.
would be impossible for express by word how thankful
DR. Pierce. Every who suffers as did
should take DR.. Pierce Favorite Prescription"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-07-09
KEEPING TRACK OF THEM.

I'm be your slave" he protested
mo. ~" she commented, checking it
on IN her memorandum book, for, being
Of mathematical turn Of mind. she was
nothing II not accurate, and she realized
that it would never do to count a dude as
whole number.-C Chicago Evening Post.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-07-09
FLOWERS )F IRISH SPEECHES
A Collection of Noteworthy Things
From That Tongue.

FUNNY, WISE AND WITTY-SOME-
BODY HAS GATHERED UP
SMART OR LUDICROUS RE-
MARKS APPARENTLY FOR A
CENTURY AND CHARGED THE
WHOLE LOT TO THE BRIGHT
SONS OF ERIN-A FEW OLD AC-
QUAINTANCES.