davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20
TYPICAL BULLS.
Specimens of Irish Wit, Copied from, =
Collection of Anecdotes.

Specimens of Irish Wit, Copied from =
Collection of Anecdotes.
We must, of course. translate them
as best we can into brogue-"the soft
est, the mellowest. and most musical
things outside Paradise" First, as to
fighting: for an Irishman fights be-
cause he loves fighting for its own
sake, and there are some fine chapters
on dueling and the old faction-feuus:
Perhaps the greatest contempt ever
expressed by one man for another
was the rejection by an old Irish gen.
tleman of challenge. Flight with
go to my grave without fight"
Take as typical bulls, old and new,
arising from excessive Quickness of
thought:
From an Irish newspaper: 1.-The
heavy drops OF rain varied In size
from a shilling to eighteen-pence."
The chairman of company in Cora:
Perhaps you think that in our board
half do the work, and the other half
do nothing. As matter Of fact. gen.
tlemen, the reverse Is the case"
"Is 1t son or daughter your sis
ter has got?" asked a gentleman OF
one of his tenants The curse Of the
crows on me, but don't know wheth-
er I'm an uncle or an aunt" was lie
immediate reply.
From the witness box:
"a Kathleen Mavourneen loan?' u"
questioned the Judge. What in the
world is that?" That's what we
calls some loans down in our parts.
yer honner-the 1t may be for years
and it may be for ever sort"
Did you call your husbands uncle
Cary, the informer? NO" she re-
piled. Il didn't go SO far as that. /
called him Anti-Christ.'
Eminent London specialist to a Gal
way landlord: 81 should like to know
whether your family have been long
lived?" well, doctor, III Just tell you
how 1t is,' said the patient, thought
fully.
my family is a west Of Ireland fam
lily and the age OF my ancestors de-
pended entirely on the judge and jury
who tried them. London Chronicle.
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20
No Nor. "Ord,nnrv- s,--per,.

Some time ago the Pullman Com.
troduced Ordinary sleeping car SER
vice on the Baltimore and Ohio Rail-
road between Baltimore and Newark
and Pittsburg and Chicago. The re-
suits to the Railroad Company were
very gratifying. but subsequently, II
WAS ascertained the Pullman Company
was not in position to furnish this
class Of equipment to all roads oper-
ating Pullman cars east Of Chicago
and st. Louis, and to allay any friction
that might result from this inequality
Of service the Pullman Company re-
quested the Baltimore and Ohio Rail
road to resume the standard cars pre-
viously in service, which will be done
commencing April 10.
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20
SAved.

Eighteen fathoms!" cried the man
at the lead.
Rolling like log in the trough Of
the sea, the apparently doomed ship
was rapidly approaching the Ameri-
can coast. She would soon strike, un-
less something could be done to tighten
her. Realizing that the sacrifice must
be made, the Scotch captain called aft
the entire crew. and with mighty
effcrt they lifted the manuscript OF
Hail Gaines next play and threw 1t
overheard, and like thing Of life the
noble vessel responded to the helm and
headed once more out to sea.-Life.
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20

Mr.. W. H. B. Williams. Columbus. y.
other remedies with little or no sue
cess. But In Pe-ru-na found prompt
and sure cure. l always keep the
remedy which promptly relieves any
attack Of the same malady.
MY wife also uses Pe-ru-na. She
finds 1t Of especial use for severe spells.
to which she Is subject. We always
keep It in the house as q family medi-
cine. We think 1t an excellent remedy
for the various Ills to which children
are subject. especially climatic dis
eases. Address DR.. Hartman. Colum-
bus, Ohio. for free book on family
medicine.
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20
Prices for Best Bicycles.

A careful statistician announces that
during the history Of bicycle making
in this country, dating back twenty
one years, the price for the most ex-
pensive product has ranged from $3.50
in 1878 to $50 in 1885 and 1892 and
down to the present rates Of SIS and
$50. In 1885 the climax Of excellence
v.s reached in high-whssl construc-
tson. After that the prices fell Oh
until 1892, when the hrst pneumatic
tires were applied to the machines.
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20
what "A,abs ,siu ." II

Alabastine 10 = durable and natural
coating for walls and ceilings. 1t is
entirely different from all "kalsomine"
preparations. Alabastine comes in
white OF twelve beautiful tints, and Il
ready for use BY adding cold water.
It ID put up in dry powder form in
hve-pound packages. with full direc-
tions on every package. Alabastins II
handsome. cleanly and permanent It
can b re-coated and fetinted at slight
expense. Paint dealers and druggists
sell Alabastine and furnish card Of
tipta.
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20
DO four Feet Ache and nurn,

Shake into your shoes, Aliens Foot
Ease, powder for the feet. 1t makes
tight or New Shoes feel Easy Cures
Corns, Bunions, Swollen, Hot and
Sweating Feet. At all Druggists and
Shoe Stores, 25c Sample sent FREE.
Address Allen S Olmsted, Leroy. N. Y.
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20
500, 1000 FAMILIES
RELY ON PE-RU-Nh.

". II. B. Williams, publisher Of TIE
Tarmsrs' Industrial Union, in rsosut
letter to DR.. Hartman says: Il have
used Pe-ru-na as family medicine for
several years. find it Of especial use
for myself. I have had several tedious
spells with systemic catarrh and before
using Pe-ru-na | had tried several
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20
Patriotic Exclamation,

Teacher-"Johu. Illustrate the difference
between sit and set"
Bright and Patriotic Boy-"The United
States is country on which the sun
never Sc is and the rest of the world never
sits."-petroi journal.
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20
Shirt IiOaOlnh

Should always be dried before starching
Apply 'Faultless Starch freely to both
ddes, roll up tight with bosom inside and
lay aside twenty minutes before ironing
All grocers sell "fuultless Starch, l0c.
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20
n buIiicstlc OutcAhI

You go home late. Billy; Is your wife
cleaning house"
mo: she's only cleaning clothes presses.
When she gets to cleaning house she
doesn't let me come home at all
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20
a. =. strikes . w.,..r,.r.

It IL notable that the captain In the
newly organized Chinese baseball club
in New York city ID named Chin On
The Chinese evidently know sonething
about baseball.-6t. Louis Post-Dis-
patch.
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20
Ih .atrjc,I Exps,isu

Jack used to be on the stage. and what
do you think he has done, mamma?
What. laughter
He has had a trap-door cut in our par
lor, so he can escape when l have call
ern,
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20

The secret power in doing Gods
work in this world is a complete sur
render Of ourselves to Him.-Rev. j.
r. Carson, Presbyterian, Brooklyn
N. Y.
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20

NJ IoMEN assaicd mt cvcr by troubles peculiar
w their Every mysterious ache or pain is
w symptom. These distressing sensations will keep
on coming unless properly treated
The history of neglect Is faces and
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20

know that my life was saved by Piso'a
Au Sable, Michigan, April 81, 1895
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20
Hall'a Catarrh Cure
Il taken internally. Price, 75c.

Aren't you afraid your golf club will
injure YOU bicycle business?' Not at
all; we arr going to have the links SO far
out that e,ery member will have to ride
a wheel"
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20
Her Ltlo Nyaye.

When my wife buys a SIS hat she says
II will last her three years
That's cheap enough.
Yes; but every season she gets y
worth Of new trimmings put on 1t.
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20

Mamma and / are not on speaking
terms" "How distressing" She went
and told Harry that ] trimmed all my
own hats before We were married.
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20

wasted figures of nine
tenths of our women.
every one of whom may
receive the invaluable ad-
vice of Mrs. Pinkham.
without charge, by writing
to her at Lynn. Mass.
Miss LULA EVANS, of
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20

Pauline didn't break her heart over
that faithless man, after an NO: she
convinced herself mat II she had married
him he would have tyrannized over her
dreadfully."
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup.
For children teething, softens the gums, IN
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20

About the 6iss of 1t.
Bachelor wonder what induces
nsn to marry?" Benedict--"Why, ths
women. OF course"
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20

| back yard?" I've ordered some trees
and | drove those pegs down to show my
| wife where didn't want them planted
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20

THAT professor says that Shakespeare $
women are not intellectual "Of course
not Look at Ophelia. going out in ahe
woods and picking flowers when she
might have made Hamlet buy them for
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20
waeo of Fraud!

bew1eo OF Fraud!
Every success breeds imitators and counter felt
ers Look out for substitutes when you ask for
Cescaret, Candy Cathartic All druggists. l0c, Csc,
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20

Dtsstry is not peculiar - rsassas..
The Meeker herald., 1899-05-20
WOMEN WHO
NEED Mrs.
PzNKHAM,S AID

Petersburg, Iowa, writes of her recovery follows:
"DEAR MRS. PlNKHAM-I had been a constant sufferer
for nearly years. Had Inflammation of the womb
eucorrhea heart trouble bearing pains backache
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12

DURING Gov. r. M. Harris adj
ministration of the Chickasaw af-
fairs, the Santa Fe railroad people
purchased outright body of land
consisting of some 20 or 25 acres.
This land is contiguous to, and a
portion of it may be within, the
corporate limits of ArdmOre. This
land was valued by Gov. Harris at
$25 per acre and sold at that price.
Of course lands adjoinining are
not more valuable, and it will be
interesting to note how the town
site appraisers will look at this
valuation.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE.

Services at IL a. m. Subject,
Mind" Golden text, Rom.
11:34. SO. Evening services at
7:3O. Subject, THE God-derived
Authority of Christ JESUS Inter
national series. Wednesday even
ing meetings, 7:30 O'Clock. Sun
day school. 10 a. m. We invite
the public to worship with Us, and
learn the practical religion that
heals disease as welllas sin. On
South Court street. in the house
owned by Mr.. Snyder, proprietor
of the woodward.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12

The latest imperial incident from
Germany relates to Judge Wiszomisski,
who recently sentenced an innocent la
borer to IS months in Jail because he
was a Socialist. The man appealed to
the imperial court. which reversed tho
sentence and censured the judge for his
loose methods at arriving at judgments
To the astonishment of the court, the
emperor Immediately promoted the
judge to the head of the imperial court
at Leipsic. where he is now member
of the bench which has just solemnly
declared his unfitness for judicial func-
tions
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12

In discussing the possibilities of uni
versal peace the London Times does
not hesitate to declare that the most
powerful factor making to that end is
the perfection of deadly engines of war.
The enormous advance in death dealing
inventions is nearing point where
war viii be a calamity to the whole
human race, and the most furious war
rior king or government will hesitate
long before it let's loose these prodigious
machines of destruction. With the
means of exterminating life now in the
hands of the great powers it is to be
hoped that they will not come by the
ears. as did the ancient nations. for
they would probably depopulate the
earth.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12

The infiction of fine of $500 by
Judge Bond of the superior court in
Boston upon the Boston Herald on ac-
count of headline printed in that pa
per during the trial of case, which
headline it was held was prejudicial TO
the case. has caused much comment
there and elsewhere The headline was
in these words, ''Guilt Is Evident, >"
and this was declared to be an improper
interference with the administration
of justice, as the trial was still in prog
ress and the guilt undetermined The
fine which followed was the result of
contempt of court. The precedent thus
established is seriously questioned by
certain newspapers But it has long
been held by the reputable press as part
of an Unwritten code that it shall re-
frain from prejudging case ON trial
and not seek to influence public opinion
or the jury in advance of decision.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12

After most incomprehensible delay
the United States senate has at last
been forced to increase the salaries OF
some of the diplomatic officers abroad.
For years. the poverty of our consular
agents has been term of reproach in
Europe, and to fill the offices with re-
sponsible men has been difficult
There in no remedy equal to Her
bine for the cure of constipation
sick headache, indigestion, vertigo,
loss of memory uncertain appetite,
unrestful sleep or skin eruptions.
If you want a perfect tonic for the
liver, Herbine will not disappoint
you.
Gold by T. N. Coleman.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12

On Jan. 80 the Third United States
infantry. over l, 900 strong. set out from
Fort Smelling. where it has been for ten
years, to make the long journey Of near
ly 10000 miles to Manila. When it
left. the thermometer stood at 80 de-
grees below zero. and the regiment will
not stop until il reaches a place where
the thermometer marks SO in the shade.
In contemplating this jaunt one sees
that endurance is becoming Of greater
Importance than bravery.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12
a

It la i sad sight to witness Che
foreclosure Of a mortgage. Wheth-
er on q home or on business prop
erty, it represents the wiping out
OF the sayings Of O lifetime. In
1896 there were many who believ-
ed that the monetary unit had risen
to it's highest value. It had then
advanced about 100 per cent in 20
years, and consequently all mortg-
ages given for more than SO per
cent of the value of the property
had been foreclosed or were in pro-
cess of foreclosure. We were doom
ed to disappointment, however, for
the year 1897 disclosed the largest
number of foreclosures ever wit
messed in the United States in a
single year. Today, in spite of
bountiful haryests, enormous ex
ports and famine in foreign lands,
we are unable to satisfy the de-
mands of our creditors. Bills of
foreclosure continue to be filed III
our courts. Property mortgaged
for so per cent of its value has been
foreclosed already Property mort
gagged for 40 per cent of its value
is to come next. Who gets the
other 60 per cent paid from the
savings of the original owner?
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12

Queen Victoria is said to take great
interest in the ritualistic controversy
which now threatens to produce crisis
in the Church of England. but she care
fully avoids taking a stand. AS she is
the official head of the Church of Eng
land great anxiety is felt by both sides
as TO her action. But so far she has
succeeded in presenting most discreet
impartiality. The latest event in the
controversy has been the dismissal of
two curates of ST. Agnes church. Liver
pool. by their bishop in consequence of
their advocacy Of auricular confession
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12

/ Senator Cockrell has presented
to the Senate a petition from the
Commercial Club of Kansas City,
to provide improved mail facilities
for the West and Southwest, and
thereby enable the business men of
Kansas, Oklahoma and Indian Ter
ritory and Texas to receive their
mail from all points from II to 16
hours earlier.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12

The other day Miss Ayers of Penn
Yam. who reserved all her originality
for her final act. shut herself mp i'm O
trunk and then took poison In 4S
hours after this exploit was hlaEoned
Robert T. Rink Of Philadelphia initat-
ed the feat SUCCESSFULLY with another
trunk Curious that the monkey in
atinct Of man should come ont strcn-
gest I'm death.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12
H.

ha fnnha nalIld wv GinnoHa Eairnn
at tha court martial is IN rasurixnhla
corrobaration nR Che general npnion OF
tine public crncerntag him. Hehas Zoo
much emotion 60 be always fln oaIicer
and gentleman that me may beat some
times Consider my feelings he says
Bnt that Ia the very thing that we are
not 10 coneider We do mot expect our
officers high i'm command TO make vio-
lent exhibitions Of their feelings and
then ask as to consider them. Tkewhole
discipline Of TIE military service inn
plies discipline of the feelings and a
certain control Of them under the most
aggravating circumstances There could
be no martial system whatever if ones
emotional extravagances were 70 become
a part of it to be excused. The exhibit
which General Eagan makes of himself
IL that of man whose sensibilities
are under no sort of control. who grows
morbid in the self contemplation of
wrongs and proceeds to hysterical
lengths that are passionate and peril
GUS. That he may be at the same time
brave man. with an honorable record
cf physical courage. in no way lessons
the particular indictment which public
opinion now makes and which is all the
more obvious in the light of his extra
emotional self vindication. Squeezed
into the smallest compass, his excuse is
that in the stress of his feelings he for
got himself and was temporarily insane
This is very poor excuse indeed for
an official upon whose head rests the
multiple responsibilities of complicat-
ed department
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12

The pompous solemnity with which
trifies are treated by official Germany
continues to make the rest of mankind
laugh. The American comic paper Puck
recently printed cartoon representing
the nations of the earth as animals. in
which Germany assumed the shape of
pig. This picture. having been copied
by the Paris Figaro. that paper was
thrown ont Of Germany neck and heels.
The consequence was that half mil
lion people in Europe who never heard
OF Puck and who would have forgotten
the picture as soon as seen are every
where asking for it. Several harmless
foreign publications have in this man
ner been excluded from the German
mails, and it does not appear to be at
all plain to the high cockalcrums who
are carrying ON the puerile tyranny that
they are sowing the tiny seeds of dis
content among the intelligent people of
the empire Count Posadowski, when
recently questioned with respect to the
political discomfort in Germany, went
off at high rate of speed ON German
unity and German prestige abroad. He
refused to touch upon the small ills and
annoyaaces of the people under the
present system and pointed with great
solemaity to consolidated Fatherland.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12
An Honest Medicine for La Grippe.

George w. Watt of South Gard
ner. Me-, says; "I have had the.
worst cough, cold, chills and grip
and have taken lots of trash of no
account but profit to the vendor.
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy is the
only thing that has done any good
whatever. / have used only one So
cent bottle and the chills. cold and
grip have all left me. congratulate
the manufacturers of an hon68
medicine" For sale by City drug
store and T. ". Coleman.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12

A conference of the farmers of sever
al counties in Illinois has resulted in a
call for national convention of farm
ers for the purpose of forming a nation
al party representative of the agricul-
tural interests of the country. In the
declaration of principles the organiza-
tion appeals to every farmer in the
United States to join hands in effecting
the nomination and election of farmers
as members of congress and members of
the legislature.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12

The Parisians have introduced music
at their crematories so that the funeral
guests can enjoy themselves while the
deceased is burning There is no good
reason why they should stop at Often
casions- A dash of ballet and gymnastics
would certainly enliven the tedium-
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12

The Denison Herald says: !:
There seems to be a great deal of
digging for buried wealth in Tex
as nowadays. Treasure seeking par
ties all over the state are looking
for hidden treasure in the ground,
following lines of tradition. There
is world of buried treasure around
Denison, in Grayson county and
the Indian Territory. 1t is easily
found. Take a spade, plow or a
hoe, plant wheat, corn, apple trees,
peaches, pears, grapes. strawber-
ries. Notwithstanding, and
there the treasure will be found
The sign is sure, and the seeker
for treasure is always rewarded -
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12
Excursion Rates via. santa FeRouts

BattIeship "Texas" at Galveston,
Feb. 18th to 15th-For round trip, via
Santa Fe $500 from Ardmore. Sell
Feb. 18th; return Feb. 10th.
Dallas-Woodmen Of the World
Feb IA to IS. Sell Feb Is and Il, re-
turn Feb 10; 1885 for round trip,
New OrIeans-Mardi Gras. Rate
s17.45 for round trip. Sell Feb. 7th to
18th inclusive; return Feb. 28th.
Chicago-NatiGnal Association OF
Merchants and Travellers. Sell GER
tificate plan, one and one-fifth fares
for round trip. Sell Feb. 9th TO 10th
return Feb. 18th and sell Feb. 18th to
Gath inclusive; return Mch. 4th.
Washington. ID. C.-NRtional Con-
gress Of Mothers Sell ON certifcate
plan, one and one-third fares. Sell
Feb. nth to 14th.
A. LUCAS. Agt.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12

The war department is the
damned spot'' on the Mckinley
administration, and there is ne in
dicafion even yet that it is to be
invited OUT It is to be hoped,
at any rate, that Congress will pro-
vidt for thorough reorganization
Of the army. To increase it under
the present system of organization
would be but to increase and mul-
tiply existing evils. What is need.
ed and needed sorely. is q new
deal.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12

The subject Of the morning ser
mon viii be .'Bordsr-line Christ
ians; at night, The Devil: Hii
Origin and Power. - Sunday
school at 10 a. m. Endeavor at
Tp. NJ. Junior Endeavor at 8 p. m.
Everybody invited. The musi.
will be an interesting part Of .fhs
service, as we expect to have .
number of instruments.
]. s. WEAVER, Pastor.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12

FIGHTING JOE" WHEELER was
asked how he would like to be or
dered to the Philippines. He
promptly replied: I am ready to
go at once. The height of my am
bition is to serve in the army
where my services may be needed. :"
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12

BOB" INGERsOLL has changed
his tack a little, his latest lecture
being on The Devil Lots of
folk think that Bob will be bet
ter posted on this subject after his
death.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12
KIckapoo Indians Not Satisfied.

South McAlester, I. t., Feb. IL.
Six KickapOo Indians of the
blanket variety were in the city
today on their way home from
Mexico. where they have been to
inspect the country with a view OF
emigrating.
The Kickapoos said there was nc
grass and the land was no good,
and the weather was too hot. They
will, therefore, remain in their
own country. A strong effort is
being made to induce the Indians
to emigrate to Mexico, but the
scheme will not likely succeed.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12

OBJECTION to the Nicaragua ca
nal, by New York millionaires and
the Panama company, is worth
cold cash to unscrupulous Con-
gressmen.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-02-12

If there was any doubt about
this being the era of trusts, it
would be dissipated by reading OF
the formation of the new $50, 900,
900 whisky trust, the 100000. 600
milk trust and the $4,000, 900
soap trust.l