Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-01-01
yt Was Necessary for Him TO SUPER
wise the ChiIdren-Then lie Went
Visiting, and Was Compelled to
Eat Much Fruit-Cnke.

scuffled into their clothing. There were
many fights and disputes about various
shoes and stockings, which had gotten
mixed up. and the excitement brewed
so much dIscord that the presence OF a
grown person was required among the
children. / was the grown person deie-
gated 10 arise at this frosty. cherries
hour. and maintain the peace and dignity
OF the Commonwealth. A man doesn't
know how warm bed can be until he
! gets up in a cold room and notes the
contrast. / discovered the difference in
n second and realized for the first time
/ how Abednego had managed 10 ma a
comfortable seat in the fiery furnace.
II took just three minutes for the
Youngsters TO dress themselves, ana.
then. with a yell like unto that OF the
Partisan "sans culottes," they stampeded
towards the nursery, with me In the rear
and their mother drowsly huring III
functions after them. These injunctions
were delivered from her very warm bed.
which she still utilized When i thought
Of her lying there with The ther'anmeter
hanging at 10 in her leignbofnood felt
for the time being that l didn't love
this woman as i ought to.
With ear-piorcing shrieks of delight,
establishment, anxiety, and expectation
let loose the juvenile mob fell on the
Christmas-tree like a horde OF savages'
and for the time being each child con
centrated all his energies on seeing mat
his little brothers and sisters didn't get
more than he did. When ii comes down
to game OF grab children remind me
very much of grown people. Though my
II
me as q very fine disciplinarian, was but
as a leaf in a storm against the festive
kindergarten In ten minutes the stately
! cedar was almost depleted OF its ofna-
merts. and a waking-st of peppermint
( candy was being freely used as bludgeon
/ in a hand-to-hand set-to between Grover
! Cleveland and Marmaduke. who disputed
the right of ownership concerning pop
| gun.
BY way OF gaining free circulation for
my blood, and also by way OF obeying
| some feminine mandates which had been
| issued. / opened up the day by lighting
the fire in the nursery, and after that |
acted, or rather attempted 10 act as a
/ conservator Of the peace. To me was as
signed tho duty Of preventing an early
! destruction OF the geological garden which
the night before had ornamenled the
| tree. 1t was also my function to guard
against any attacks of indigestion which
might be superinduced by too many con-
! dictionaries, and TO distribute the toys in
| a just and equitable way. Each chick
and child thought his little brother or
sister was getting more than he. The
I baby with his mouth besmeared by the
| green paint which he had licked from the
! Noah's ark, was already clamoring Tor
| the box OF colors, while the fur dog, now
4 4 tss...t to- .-
a bone Of contention which generated
unlimited discord. From 6 a. NJ. to $50
chaos reigned supreme, and the nursery
suggested judgment-day. The rag doll and
the toy cannon preserved for still deadlier
work. were the only survivors. Debris
and disjecta membra We're everywhere In
evidence My patience was worn TO the
frazzle-end of nothing. and the thought of
some twelve hours more OF similar suffer-
ing embittered me against the world.
..
1t was at this juncture that the Com
mander-in-C Chief, with her head bristling
in curl papers and strangely suggestive
of the AIedusa stalked forth upon the
scene. and with a wave of her hand re-
stored order out of chaos. Her eye follow
ed the path of destruction and then lit
on me. She gazed at my shivering form
with the stern stare of an analytical
chemist examining a cholera microbe,
and then, with q hopeless. despairing ex-
preston, exclaimed 81 might have known
IT, You'd sit here and let them pull down
the house over your head. 1t don't make
| any difference 20 you-anything so you
can save yourself bother l reckon you
even jagged 'em on, and encouraged them
! to smash up the whole house. But /
ought 10 have known It; / deserve II, i
| deserve It, | deserve It,"
And with that she began scooping up
| the toys, rescuing the tree ornaments, ana
adjusting matters generally. Ninety per
! cent. of the things she hid away for next
| Christmas: the residuum she placed on
| the mantels beyond the reach Of the ma
| RAIDERS.
Then she shooed all the brats out of the
room and orderd them to go down in the
back yard and play, and not 10 throw
| any popcrackers over the fence. The
children were glad to get out They were
| already sick and tired of the toys, and
were beginning TO think that Santa Claus
who had kept them in a fever Of expec-
| tation for weeks, was a grand old falxir
| When one has TO spend months wishing
| for "A thing before he gets ii, the final
| realization Of his hopes is mighty apt to
| taste like an overdose OF pie. After the
| children had played in the yard for an
hour or so they almost forgot II was
| Christmas, and amused themselves by
making mud cakes at the hydrant. This
afforded them more fun and genuine hap
piness than all the rest OF the jimcracks
put together, especially as they had been
forbidden to play in the water or to mon
key with mud.
But II you think it's hard work keeping
the children straight on Christmas-Day.
and that any other occupation would be
preferable. you should disabuse your
mind OF this impression by paying q few
calls with your wife. That's how l COM
menced the afternoon. The good woman
began collecting the presents which she
intended TO leave at the houses OF her
friends. There was a scent handkerchief
for Old Miss Martha Lee Harris; two
doiles Cirtle bothersome lace things
that go on tables, and look like napkins).
for Mrs Susannah imrkins. cake of
sweet soap FOR Miss Amanda Barnes,
(spinster); a Decent saucer for Sallie Slo-
gum celluloid RATHER for little Tootsie
Muggins. a leather pocket-book for Tin
sey Jones (ased g.; silver shoe-hook
for Mrs. Genevieve Blowmuch. more
doiles for Miss Solitude Primrose seve-
raj worsteS balls for the Tutwller chill
dren, three fur sheep for the Higgins
triplets, and other tidbits too numerous
TO print. unless you are writing against
space While have omitted several i'm
portant articles, | remember distinctly
that the price Of the aggregation was
one dollar and three cents.
Miss Martha Lee Harris almost foamed
az the mouth with delight over her hand
kerchief, and after delivering a speech OF
thanks. which equalled In force the ora
"A - nrk Int he