New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-04-24
TWINS or DEMOCRACY"
MR. rCHucK DIscoURsEs ON THE
HEAVENLY PAIR" FREEDMAN
AND CROKER. 49,
HE - IN GREAT DOUBT AS TO WHICH is THE
GREATER OF THE TWO. AND LOOKS FOR
warn To THE DAY WHEN HE, TOO.

IN
GREATER OF THE TWO AND LOOKS FOR
WARD TO THE DAY WHEN HD TOO.
WILL Bn A 'REsAvDR."
Daniel McChuck Of the Twelfth Ward OF Brook
Ivn n sewer inspector under the Tammany admn-
istration was introduced to the public mmeoia'eiy
after the Croker ten-dollar dinner. whch ne at
tended but that isn't saying that McChuck IS
newcomer Ask any one who frequents the kioh-
d,k. saloon in the ward or who spends the summer
IN the neighborhood OF the Erie Basin about NC
Chuck McChuck is McChuck. and he Is always
around on Saturday nights. Those WITHIN earsho'
OF his rich Irish voice are as likely to get nuggets
of wisdom as are the Yukon miners to find bits or
the precious metal In a bench claim on Eldorado
Creek
Flaherty was talking to Ryan about the New
York ball team when McChuck came into the Klon-
dixie saloon and took his accustomed seat where
he could watch the bartender and reach the cusp
dor at the same time.
THE NETWORKS can't play ball like they could
wen me nevvy. Mike Slattery. was centre Held,
said Flaherty. They wuz gi'nts In them days FUR
fair but all the fans say they'll run hne race Tor
the tail end this year. an it's all the fault OF the
boss av the bunch. felly named Freedman
McChuck had been intenty watching the reporter
drink a Scotch whiskey. but he turned quickly.
''Phats about Freedman. Flaherty?" he
asked
That's phat they all say at the Polo Grounds.
| an they all blame Freedman" said Flaherty.
"Flaherty." said McChuck. have care what ye
say about frien's. Sure, Andy Freedman's wan
| av the great min our day.
DO he be a frind OF yours. DannyT
I'm telln' ye." said McChuck. looking wise
"Ah. gwan, Danny" said Ryan. Sure read
| the papers He's not one av us"
Say nuthin." said McChuck gravely. Say
nuthn' Ryan, widout havin yoAr facts In the
proper juxtyposition."
This was a knockout for Ryan, who had no
more idea OF what juxtaposition meant than a
! label on a bottle has Of the taste Of the liquid
| inside.
OF IRISH DESCENT.
| McChuck having cleared the deck with this l3-
| inch shell, proceeded:
Andrew Freedman is foine toipe av the Irish
race This may surprise ye but It goes. He towld
| me so at the tn-dollar dinner. which ye'll excuse
| me for advertn to in this conjunction. Andy
/ Freedman is an Irishman. His grandsire was
| Fenian be the name Of Freeman in Roscommon,
and the letter "a chucked into his name quite
! by accident Sure he wuz a great singer, wuz the
| erandsire and whit to Welsh sngin' match In
| swansea Wales The Welsh call these rackets
| .stedfodds' an they had many useless letter
| DIS in the wurrud that wan av thin was PRESENTED
| to Freeman whin he drunk. an whin he got
sober accordin' to English law. he couldn't let
| loose av IT, an iver since then he's names been
Freedman But that has nuthin L do wild the fact
| that Andy Freedman is full blooded Irish gent.
| But Flaherty he's more than that He's the bosom
frind av that distinguished Irish statesman Rich-
ard Croker an sometimes I'm thinkin that Andy's
the bigger az the two.
McChucks eoquence attracted the attention OF
all now, and he continued:
.'If | may make the philosophical observation,
| should say that Andy Freedman Is greater than
Dick because he's the power jist around the corner
av the throne. Now, folly me thought. Dick wears
| the crown an the purple. an has the rubber dure-
hut hat ha
does that cut? None at all. Back ay the throne Is
| Andy cuttin' the tinderoin steak an openin' the
mixed ale Plat does 1t profit Dick to hear the
brass band while Andys attn the mince pie! use
KNOWN that the likes o. ye have little time to In
dulge in the study of soshology.
that Freedman wnz as good as the Dist a. As mt,
av the pagoda and swtin, bigger az inc , mme:
ana gsd n debntnTe bonds an tight there's where
come the gst av the whole business hutton
of his vest and whenever Daniel McChuek does
that he's thinking.
A FINE JOB TO HAVE.
There's nothin in the wurruid handsomer than
bein' a resaver" said he. That's why It's diffcult
TO tell which Is the more excruciatin av the heaV-
,nIv Hbernian twins Dick or Andy Dick names
The man 10 be Judge; thin he's elected by the peo-
Mic moind who demand an unspotted joodishery;
thin the magistrate. dressed In new shoot OF
ermine appints Andy resaver-gineral av pusted
stock Company. an there ye are"
Thin phat?' asked McCioskey' WHO never ie'''
| the sensational papers.
Thin the disbursements, me bye cohllhuea
the sewer inspector eoquently. THE stockhooid-
entitled to per clint of all ,h the taxes ss
Five per r, cn mt @ amSunt %hn pcs
a'dT T ns' ere in
a. a,e balance sheet Thin the far-sghted gran
diloquinf Dick stood forth in all the spnd9r ay
he No. give the siockhooders their cIt
sooner than swpe T9a 'I FSher e the moral
renh WV too ,Ssn fer shs other sss
Andy dS be an , inr their si's per Clint the
and snkin' funds whinever Andy ana LICK 10 'e
res a say Danny" ventured Flaherty: "aint Dick
a little bit saft whin he hands out mat hVs per
c'h'' QUESTION OF ETHICS.
.peu me bye that simply Illustrates the moth
oo,er adjective that great minds don't run In the
| same conduit. That's the only disturoin hhmint
| IN the wigwam at prisent-whether Andy IS nos
for wentin' the last five per clint, or whether Dick
,s an ovid woman's missionary society fur sivin
| ouov what he might buy refreshments wild. Lookin
a, the matter from a purely ethical and filysaph-
| icaI grand stand, I'm inclined at present to side
| wid Dick I'm a believer In injectin praper
quantity OF rnagnanimty in politics an business
on the spectac,e av the stockholders gettin' their
five per clint like pinch OF salt In irish stew or
a dash of red pepper in mixed ale-it makes 1t
| taste better Widout that margin OF five per clint
the people might dishrust the great Dlmmycratic
marty Of which ! have the honor, fiahe'y' Oh
being an integral factory. An no matter how deep
Moss and Mazit probe they'll find that the stock
holders always git their five per clint whinever
Dick and Andy do the thrtck."
1T made not consaie from you. me hlly-citizens'
said McChuck. as he took up his cane to go INA,
me highest ambition is to become resaver-ginera
av something or other Wen ye are IeseVer
nersonai matter. about which nobody has any
right 10 ask questions.
MORE COUNTERFEIT STAMPS on CIGARS
Chattanooga, Tenn. April 20 (speciaD.-Revenue