The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-02-07
WELDING THE BIRCH.

After looking the present legislature
over with that hypercritical eye, single
ever to the wishes of the Boss, the i'll
humored birchwielder, who presumes
to chastise legislators of this and other
states who neglect to seek his counsel,
proceeds to tell the members what he
thinks of them.
Of course. 1fhe opinion isn't flattering.
From one who has formed a habit of
denouncing people as liars, slaves and
scoundrels,'' and whose daily task is to
call the community nest of pledge
breakers and Iawbreakers," and who
is never so happy as when trying TO
cast suspicious upon the people or their
representative what could you eX-
9ect? Gelr
The self-appointed, self-satisfied
schoolmaster clears his throat and,
after an inferential assurance that the
Tribune is run on wind, that it requires
no money whatever. that 2. H. Ian
mans oratory keeps it going, he says
to the gentlemen of the legislature:
You are doing excellent work now-a-
days. When you devote a day 10 throw
ing dice for a senator and no one wins,
that is perfectly harmless gambling,
harmless to both you and the public
1t is a square proposition that It would
be better never to elect a senator than
10 make a mistake, hence the utmost
care is necessary.
In other words. gentlemen of the
legislature" in the opinion Of The Trib-
une you are doing excellent work"
when you are doing nothing. You are
pleasing the organ whose motto is
anything to beat the Democrats"
In still other words the Tribune would
rather have you elect no senator than
TO elect one whose business interests
may conflict with the Tribune, into the
mammoth ear Of which =. II. Lannan
crates every day - keep it running.
Gentlemen Of the legislature" s-ou all
know how the Tribune loves you. II
wouldn't advise Democracy to take a
false step for anything While IL is will
ing TO effect amy combination TO heat
the Democrats of Utah out Of their
boots" it would have them know the
pain it feels 10 beat them, and thai it
chastises them only because i loves
them SO much.
But listen The birch-wielder says
you are a lot of ninnies. which belief
induces the Tribune to try TO dictate
your conduct. II says:
There are other considerations. When
YOU are playing at electing a senator
YOU are doing no mischief IN your
regular work. As a rule the bills you
have thus far considered Indicate thar, /
may be. il would be better ii you would
exhaust the whole tern. in the sena-
3
many oe you have not Yet taken the !
trouble 10 find out what is in the pres I
ent laws. and whether The LEGISLATION /
which you are stumbling through VIII |
not be in conflict with salutary gen |
eral statutes now in force. Again. there /
are indications that you do not always |
devote a good deal of thought to |
measure before enacting it.
Now. gentlemen of the legislature" |
Won see how it is. Orator Lannan IS |
Disguised with you. He doesn't believe |
YOU know enough 70 make laws His; |
personal organ, which lie maintains on /
oratory. says that your work. so Ear. |
indicates that you would better confne |
yourselves to something besides law
making. that you neither know any |
thing of existing laws nor honestly con- |
slider pending measures. just read that |
excerpt from our beloved contemporary |
over again. and see nov it regards you, !
gentlemen of the Legislature"
And again the Tribune says to the /
members of the Third legislative as
sembly:
You are doing most satisfactory |
work nowadays, especially as you ac- |
complish nothing save 10 kill time
We hope the members. and particu-
larly these of the majority. annr"eiat4