The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-01-19
HITS AND STRIKES.

1t is my undivided opinion that Mr..
Taller, Of New York, who threatened
to horsewhip the lawyer who attempt
ed to besmirch the name of young
actress by connecting her name with
divorce suit, is perfect gentleman
and all honor to his sex.
Xxx
One Of my Minnesota exchanges,
speaking editorially, says: cit cost us
$4OO,OOO,OO0 to show the world that we
are not afraid of any decayed mon
archy." -.-"~
Isn't that good deal of money for
country editor to expend on bluff?
| #*m
| Tom SeabrOOke, the actor has gone
into bankruptcy. Assets, one scarf-pin;
liabilities, $4,000 He certainly aught
to eliminate one of the COS" from his
name.
| M"M
The Fargo Forum says that the
thieves who stole the remains of a
banquet left a trail of cranberry sauce
behind them. The Fargo sleuths are
hot on this trail and at last accounts
had come across some of the stutfing,
but it was cold.
| *
| chickens suffered at the hands of his
executor and Carlyle at the hands of
his, says New York paper. 1t was,
however, not an argument in favor OF
electrocution.
Fabulous stories of Alaskan richness
are now being published at so much
column in all the papers. They are
manufactured in the passenger depart
ments of several western railroads by
special artists on the spot. Mr.. Glen
non, Of Saltwater, will, however, re-
main right here Nuff sed.
Xxx
Boston has a large, new, beautiful
railway terminal station. A bill will
ing it penal offense to call it
"daypO."
X
"Britannia rules the wave" but un-
fortunately the aforesaid wave is not
adjacent or contiguous or even APP
proximate to the little patch of land
over which the Rt. Hon. Paul Kruger,
DID,, holds the scepter.
Those two DIS stand for blOOmin
Dutchman, if you must know.
Xxx
a good many judges in this country
are dOnning gowns. Some of them are
ladyIike in other respects, also.
Xxx
1t is little hard to understand why
common sense was called common
sense, since it seems to be one Of the
most uncommon commodities in the
world.
The New York man who attempted
to kill his sweetheart by holding her
mouth over gas stove was probably
an expansionist.
Xxx
Did it ever strike you that the reas-
on SO few printers get rich is because
there is so much anti-mony in the type
| metal?
Dewey has called for frst-class
statesman to 60 to the Philippines.
Let Ex-Governor Merriam be SLATED"
at once.
Xxx
"Gentlemen," says "evangelist" Sam
Jones, 81 like kissing but like to
choose the time, place and case" And
being an evangelist, there is no doubt
but that he does, too.
~
1t is said that Rockefeller is trying to
get up copper trust. There are lots
of gentlemen here who hope that Roxy
may be able to corner the "coppers"
and keep them cornered.
Xxx
"COunt" Boniface de COstelIane is
"devoting his energies to organizing a
league OF the defendants of the mar
shas of France, to defend the army"
Now let somebody organize a league to
defend the defenders. What's the mat
ter with calling in the police?
#*#
While the editor of a Colorado paper
was ont footing the tuba part OF
"ThereIl be hot time in the old town
etc." the avenging angel sent the fire.
demon, who licked up two cases of
long primer, a hand-press and largely
delinquent subscription list. This tale