The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1899-01-06
CHILDREN'ss FRIENDSHIPS.
Nice Points to be Considered by
Grown Ups" Who Would Win to In

"GroWn-Ups" Who Would Win to In
timacy.
We need not consult the biography OF
the author of alice in Wonderland
for evidence that he understood the way
to win the affections of little girls IKE
Alice herself. He began, as we read, py
being serious and polite; his manner, as
| all who knew him will remember, was
composed, even to a certain primness Oh
demeanor, and the humor which lay I'M
der the surface was reserved Tor the
| hours of matured confidence, and never
| exhibited as a means of attraction IN
the early stages Of acquaintance.
"Grown-ups," and especially men, are
at great disadvantage in winning the
affections of children, for the latter are
| critical over a wide range, and only APP
precative over narrow one; wherefore
those who seek their regard, and ulti-
| mately their affection, have ten chances
Of making a blunder which will be re-
! membered against one of scoring sue
cess of the positive kind. The greatest
mistake Of all, perhaps is TO try to be
amusing An error in all cases where
the spe aker has not got the social meas
ure Of his company, it is nowhere more
codly received than by children, who
have in perfection the art of being Sc
verey literal when they dlsapprove Of
a joke. are intensely sensitive to being
laughed at easily interpret what they
only half understand as "chaff." and
only like people because they are nice"
and never because they are clever.
They are. as rule. shy of accepting
services, partly because they do not
To no tbo,Iol,t tb1t thpU cannot
do things for themselves; and ave vast
ly careful, If they do that it shall not
be looked upon as involving claim on
their regard. When they discover for
themselves that grown-up person is
not only friendly but useful, founda-
tons for solid affection are often laid
But the benefits conferred must come
impersonally. And those who can car
ny this atmosphere Of goodwill and
services as part of themselves, and in
separable as the shadow under tree,
find that children unconsciously gather
to them. Then, IL they pass in the final
examination which the closer relations
render possible. they may be rewarded
by warm. and even adorne devotion,
which lasts sometimes beyond the tine
when stream and river meet"
Though IL often passes away after
childhood, the affection of children for
their elders outside their family circle
has an advantage over that between
maturer friends. Once won, 1t Is easily
kept, Little hearts. once unlocked, are
ever open to the magic key, and eager
to see and to add spontaneously fresh
merits to those who have engaged their
love. They are perfectly true. and dis
lance does not diminish affection. Sur
prise and joy will almost overwhelrn
them when the object of this uncove-
nanted affection reappears suddenly af
ter absence. The signs and tokens OF
emotion are perfectly spontaneous, and
often most prettlly expressed, and the
chances are in favor Of this deep affec-
ton having for it's object some grown
up friend, and not a child. Its my
beloved Uncle Toni" exclaimed one
little girl her face quite flushed with
emotion. as the happy object of this at
tachment (who will never see fifty
AGAIN. suddenly presents himself to an
adorng little niece.
Women have an advantage over the
other sex in the general competition for
the liking of children. They are gent |
Ter, they are more attractively dressed;
AMI children are particularly sensitive |
to color and texture In dress, hating |
things harsh to touch; and women are
much easier to make companions of--at |
the start--and do not seem to be doing |
1t ION purpose" Later men friends |
have perhaps equal chances; for they |
are acknowledged to be almost the best I
children's story-tellers, and this is a
mighty power potent over their minds .
and affections, For the really gifted .
child's story-teller, master of his art,
will provide all the material for their
fancy to play with daily and improve
upon. He will create whole world, not
a large world, but one VIII CHI
will satisfy all their powers Of magma
tion people it with other children, and
who do as he wishes, think as
he desires, and are identified by his
hearers with themselves and himself in
a way which must create the closest
bonds of mutual interest and RESPONSE
blitles. These are not fleeting impress
slons. Greater lin their WorldD than
those who make the songs of nation
are those who provide the stories for
their children friends. For these sto-
ries once made, are never forgotten.
They are repeated. by request, as often
as the maker will provide them; the
may develop, but must re-
main the same for good or bad; and the
est beloved children, animals or 9TH
ars in these epics of the nursery may be
as edifying and didactic as the teller
likes to make them. If their united ex-
ample tends to incline his hearers to re-
gard the author as a person deserving
of their affection. who can blame his
artful rhetoric? It's object is to please,
and by pleasing to gain its reward, the
liking of the listeners.
The love of children won by elders
who are neither parents nor close rela-
lions is a special compliment, because