davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20
A Few Timely Pointers.

The up-to-date farmer has learned the
wisdom of doing his own thinking, and
in selecting binder or mower to weigh
carefully the actual points of superiority
and to avoid mere talking" or selling
points. The life" of machine depends
largely on its main frame. which should
be solid enough to outwear the working
parts and yet not heavy enough TO tear
itself to pieces through its own inertia.
The Deering Ideal Binder has a high
carbon steel frame, hot-riyeted at the
joints. This machine has stood the most
severe tests ever put on a binder. 1t has
cutting apparatus that will cut any crop
that grows; elevators that will elevate
anything it cuts; simple reel with great
er range of adjustment than any other,
operated with a single lever: the famous
Deering Knotter and Binder which never
misses: the only bundle carrier worthy of
the name; and finally Deering Roller and
Ball Bearings, making it the lightest
draft binder that ever cut 4 swath.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20
Better to Keep Still.

There are some things which are bet
ter left unsaid," as the young man re-
marked when his girl swore she'd be q
sister to him. At religious gathering
recently the pastor exclaimed: "Oh, if
there IS Il dear sister present who has
never used paint and powder, let her
stand up" Instantly a very plain wom-
an arose before the congregation, where
on a wicked brother exclaimed in q loud
voice: ''Oh, sister, you'd look sight
better if you had used EN- A fit run
ming mate for this fend, declares the
Louisville Times, was the fellow present
when any sister who had never been
kissed was urged to stand up. AS all
eyes turned toward the women in the
audience, one lady rose to her feet and
said proudly that she had never, no.
never been kissed. ''Oh, sister, sister,
howled backslider in tones Of extreme
earnestness, you don't know what
you've missed and then all the other
men who had gazed in awesome respect
on the unkissed sister got to chuckling
and seemed by their looks to coincide
exactly with the gentleman who thought
she had missed good thing which was
to be had dirt-cheap.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20
The Reason w by

In a country town not far from New
York an oldfashioned preacher had eN-
horted his flock one Sunday not to read
the Sunday newspapers. On the follow
ing Monday he was strolling through the
market place when he Spied some unusu-
ally fine asparagus. vegetable of which
he was always gluttOnously fond, in the
stall of one of his pensioners.
Mr.. Smith, said the parson, Il viii
buy some Of your asparagus, if it is net
too dear"
Now, Mr.. Smith was a confirmed read
er of his Sunday newspaper, and the ser
mon had not pleased him at all. He de-
cided to play joke on his pastor More
over, he had sold his asparagus already,
though he said not a word about that.
Il am sorry, DOCTOR said the crafty
Smith, but | would not like to have i
on my conscience that [ sold you such
grass as that"
What is the matter with it?' cx-
claimed the preacher in surprise. Il
never saw finer
"Oh, it's all right that way said
Smith, but, you see. l picked it only
early this morning. 1t sprang up and
grew on Sunday. New York Tribune.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20
ODD ROUNDHOUSE TOWN
Ration, n. NJ, Owes Its Existence to
Mountain Grades.


Perhaps the busiest locomotive round
house i'll the rIOuntains Of the United
States is at Ration, on the west slope of
the Ration mountains. The business Of
this station is to furnish locomotives to
April nearly 1000 locomotives were han
died there A large proportion Of the
stock which finds its way to the Chicago
market is taken over the old Santa Fc
trail here. There is q steep grade for
seven miles when the trains are rolled
through q long tunnel and down the east
ern slope to Trinidad. To enable a train
to climb the mountain, two locomotives
each with four pairs of drivers, are
hltched to the head Of train, while two
mountain "pushers'' are placed at the
rear. Thus working and putting together,
train of thirty cars of stock may be
taken over the range. The passenger
trains are equipped with two engines,
each for the grades. 1t requires sec, 900
month to maintain this roundhouse and
the shops necessary to keep the locomo-
tlVeS III order. From this plant has
sprung town of 1000 persons, many of
whom have come from Illinois 1t is
sad that this little roundhouse town buys
nearly 100 newspapers daily, besides a
large number of the leading magazines
1t maintains, also, three local newspapers
OF It's own. The town has been built I'D
through building and loan association
which did business of $1,000 last year,
at an expense Of only 1910.
Ration is located in the Maxwell land
grant territory and from the mesa farms
crops are raised in abundance and with
out rigatiOn.-ChicagO Record
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20
Mikes Philosophy.

AS Mayor Farley of Cleveland came
down the steps of his residence Saturday
morning he saw man sitting on the
lowest one, says the Plain Dealer. L
wasn't 6 o'clock, but Mr.. Farley, on his
way to inspect a piece OF new laid pave
ment, was in q hurry.
The man looked up.
''Mornin', Mr.. Farley" he said, as hG
arose to his feet.
Good morning" said the mayor. The1
he looked at the man little more close
~. "Oh, it's you, Mike, is it?'
''Yis Mr.. Farley"
'WeIl, what do you want here?'
Il want a wurrud wild you, Mr.. Fair
ley"
Come, Mike, you know it's no use
You're a drinking man, and I've go
nothing for drinking men,
But, Mr.. Farley, wait Bit
"No, Mike
Listen, Mr. Farley A mon can ge
drunk an get sober again, but don
fool is a dom fool all his life.''
And with this epigrammatic bit of phil
osophy the man on the step drew aside
and let the smiling mayor pass.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20
The Mariners Way.

An old Bucksport (Me) sea captain
thus describes the way in which he dis
missed an undesirable sutton to the hand
of his daughter: 81 just showed him the
companionway out on the gangplank
leading from my house, and gently re
marked that the wind was off shore, and
the sooner he got under way the better
offing he would get before morning. He
at once took the hint, got under way,
paved eff, bore away and went down the
road under all sail with the off shore
hrpnzp -
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20
The Summer Bath,

Nothing is more refreshing and invigor-
ating in summer than daily bath. But
to have it beneficial soft water and good
soap must be used. Ivory Soap is the best
for the purpose; it is pure. dissolves
gives a healthful glow to the skin. and
leaves it white and soft. Early in the
morning or just before retiring at night
will be found the most suitable times for
bathing ELIZA r. PARKER.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20
Be Careful of the Boy.

A New England school teacher received
the following note of caution from the
anxious mother of one of her pupils:
Dear Miss: Please do not push Johnnie
too hard. for SO much of his branes is in
telleck that he ought to be held back a
tirely. an 1 do not dezire it. SO please
hold him back SO as to keep his intelleck
from getting bigger than his boldly, an
.njooring him for life. "-Harper's Bazaar.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20
SPINNING WHEEL.
PAS PIPE AND MINE.

PAS PIPE AND MINE.
Sometimes. just fore ] 60 ND to bed,
My pa says to me with a smile,
We'll, what do you say
To a half hours play? 49,
Shall we get out our pipes for While:
Then pa leans back in his easy chair,
And ma bends over and SmoothS ms hall
Pa fills his pipe from the old blue jar,
Ma lights match. and then there we are
Pa putting out curly clouds of smoke
Right into my face till l gasp and choke;
Ma laughing away when a smoky ring
Wiggles into my eyes and makes EN- sting,
And pa, still a-smiling and smoking, cries,
''Oho! sir, do l see tears in your eyesE
And then I go off and get my pipe,
With basin of sOapSudS, too,
And next l begin
To dip my pipe in,
Till it's soapy and nice all through.
And just as pas pipe blows smoky rings
My pipe blows bubbles, such lovely things.
That all go bobbing and sailing round
And break in two with never sound
But nothing'S anyway half's much run
AS seeing a great big glistening one
Burst right in pas eye-woW! 1t makes Alih
blink;
And then it's my turn, so say, i thlhk
There's somebody else beginning TO cry;
Ohol sir, ] see a tear in your eye
New York Herald.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20
Try Aliens FOOt-EaSe.

At this season your feet feel swollen,
nervous and hot, and get tired easily. If
YOU have smarting feet or tight shoes, try
Aliens Foot-Ease. 1t cools the feet and
makes walking easy. Cures ingrowing
nails, swollen and sweating feet, blisters
and callous spots. Relieves corns and
bunions of all pain and gives rest and
comfort Try it to-day. Sold by all drug
gists and shoe stores for 25c. Trial pack
age FREE. Address Allen S. Olmsted,
Leroy, n. Y.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

1.-THE idear' exclaimed the sensational
actress, as she beat an angry tattoo on
the floor with her slipper.
what's the trouble? Can't you get
your divorce?'
Yes; but that lawyer has offered to
secure it without publicity. ashing-
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

"Now, Johnny, what can you tell me
about Moses?' asked the Sunday school
teacher Of Il little fellow in the Juvenile
class. ''All | know" replied the young
ster, who has got his knowledge of an
cient and modern history slightly mixed,
is that he was found in Il rush basket
at the battle Of Bull Run"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20
An Excellent Combination.

The pleasant method and beneficial
effects of the well known remedy,
SYRUP OF FIGS, manufactured by the
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP Co., illustrate
the value of obtaining the liquid laxa-
tive principles Of plants known to be
incidentally laxative and presenting
them in the form most refreshing to the
taste and acceptable to the system. It
is the one perfect Strengthening laxa-
tive, cleansing the system effectually,
dispelling colds, headaches and fevers
gently yet promptly and enabling one
to overcome habitual constipation per-
manently. It's perfect freedom from
every Objectionable quality and sub
stance, and its acting on the kidneys,
liver and bowels, without weakening
Or irritating them. make it the ideal
laxative.
In the process of manufacturing figs
are used, as they are pleasant to the
taste, but the medicinal qualities Of the
remedy are obtained from SIENNA and
other aromatic plants. by method
known to the CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP
Co. only. In order to get it's beneficial
effects and to avoid limitations, please
remem Der the full name of the Company
printed on the front of every package.
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP co.
SAN FRANCISCO, CAL
LOUISVILLE, Ky. NEW YORK, N. z.
For sale by all Druggists.-Price SOC. per bottle
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20
Hrs. II. A., I24 Cedar Street,

Nearly three years ago wrote
to you asking advice in regard
to my health. Twas SO miserable /;
suffered from painful rnenstru-
alton and backache, was nervous,
dizzy and faint. | received such
kind letter from you, telling me
just what to do. l followed your
advice and | now am recommend
ing Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound. | thank God
for this pain destroyer.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

The cost of the worlds wars since
the Crimean war has been $12 ,263, 900,
eco, or enough to give Il couple of SOY
on the globe
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

In Turkey any youth and maiden
who can walk properly and can under
stand the necessary religious service are
allowed to marry
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

In Anglican places of worship in
England and Wales it is stated that no
less than $3.50 masses were said in one
year to eXtricate souls from purgatory.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

My graduation essay will be just
DREADFUL why do you think so, Eth
el?" We'll. Aunt Jane wanted to help
me, so | am letting her write it while
ma and | worry about my gown.'-De-
trOit Eree Press.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

"A new electric organ placed in an
English church possesses G4,500 miles of
Wire. The action Of the organ is so rapid
that it would repeat if necessary,
sixty times per second
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

My doctor said l would die, but Pisos
Cure for Consumption cured me.-Amos
kelner, Cherry Valley. Ills. Nov. %. '95.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

Mrs. WfnsIOw's SOOTHING SYRUP for children
teething softens the gums, reduces Inflammation,
allays pain, wind collie. 25c bottle.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

-Eight-tenths of the soldiers in Rus
STA and Servia can neither read nor
write
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20
Mrs. Maggie P. Slime, New

Berlin, Pa, writes:
Il have suffered with terrible
backache in the small Of my back
for about seven years, and could
never get anything to help me.
I tried several physicians, but
found no help. I have now taken
three bottles of Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound, and
feel like a different woman.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

A Lancashire undertaken fell dead at
a funeral he was conducting
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

Tell me the worst, doctor"
"Well, since you insist-you owe me
just 5000. Life
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

left at home with two servants one even
ing. The old man retired early so did
the servants, and when the gentleman
and his wife returned from the theater
they found that the house mad been en-
tered and robbed. The matter was re-
ported to the police, and an account of
the robbery appeared in the next morn
lng's papers. The old gentleman had
slept through it all, and the next morn
ing he HE'D himself to Kaps' barber shop
near PEBBLES corner to be shaved, ig-
norant of the fact that the house had
been robbed.
Il sec,' said the loquacious Kaps, as
he stropped his razor, that thieves
broke i'll your house"
when" gasped the old gentleman.
Last night" was the answer. II
read all about it in this mornings. pa
per-
The old fellow arose from the chair,
hastily wiped the lather from his face,
and left the shop as fast as his rheu-
matte legs would carry him, to see about
the robbery Enquirer.
'How's the treasury" asked one
Spanish official. Pretty low" answered
the other. well, get on your hat and
coat and ask the powers if they don't
want some nice, warm islands today
Washington Star.
Sharp Dame-''I must frankly tell you,
Mr.. GinX, that my consent to your mar
rying my daughter has been wrung from
me under protest.
Mr.. Ginx-"Eh? Protest?"
Sharp Dame-'Yes, sir. | knew that
if [ did not consent she would disgrace
the family by an elopement. When she
wants anything we all have to give in tc
her, or take the consequences, and long
experience has taught me that [ might
as wei ltry to fan off a cyclone as reason
with her when she gets angry, especially
if there is Il tlatiron or rolling pin
handy, and so [ just give up at once
Has the Wedding day been fixed on yet
Mr. Ginx?"
Mr.. Ginx-"Um-er, not yet; and il
fact, madam, Im-Im little afraid
can't afford to marry. Goo-good day
-Tit-Bits.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

Anent the international automobile race
the New York Herald Of "Wednesday
says:
With regard to a possible information
al race Of automobiles, in which the
Herald has acted simply as good-na-
tured intermediary by cable between
France and America, the result this
morning is satisfactory in the extreme:
"On Monday morning we printed by
cable the plague of the Nelo, the
Frenchmens chauffeur organ. saying that
Mr.. Winton had no idea of ever racing
NJ. CharrOn or of covering his bet of
10000 francs, deposited with the Euro
pean edition Of the Herald in Paris.
"A dispatch to the Herald from Cleve-
land. O., this morning says that rep
resentative of Mr.. Winton is hurrying to
New York to cover NJ. Charrons bet.
The affaire, the parie, does not so
much approach the humbug des Yankees
as Veto intimated on Sunday. Mr.. Win
ton will put up-not shut up.
1t looks as if there might be a race
after all. The Herald's advices indi-
cate that there will be a big somme
placed in any event.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

An old gentleman living on Walnut
Hills with his grandchildren was recently
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

''Johnson has quit playing poker, I no
tice.''
Yes; he said that his wife cried about
it SO that he gave it up
All | see. Game called on account
Of rain. indianapolis Journal.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

Carrie-"Oh, you ought to join our golf
club We have such jolly times"'
Minnie-"But | don't know how to
play"
Carleton, we never play in our
club. That's the best Of it, you know"
Boston Transcript
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

She was q very little girl and she
was. like most small boys and girls, very
much interested in everything and every
one she saw around her, and she had
no hesitancy in asking questions.
Where IS your mamma, Aunt Clara:'
she asked one day when she was visit
ing her aunt.
My mamma is in heaven said Aunt
Clara, answering the question, and at
the same time turning the little girls
thoughts in a direction that would I'M
doubtedly be spiritually improving.
Why said the little girl, pleased and
interested, speaking IN a confidential
tone, do YOU know, Aunt Clara, | used
10 live in heaven
Indeed" said Aunt Clara, not giving
much thought to what she was saying,
and where do you like living best, there
or here!''
"Oh, here, lots best said the little
girl without hesitation.-New York
Times.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

According to Brooklyn Life little Char
lie had been very properly brought up,
and instructed that the narrow way
leads to heaven. and that the broad
way leads to hades. Not long after this
particular lesson had been impressed up
on his mind, he was walking with mis-
mother one one of the streets of the city
in which be lived All at once he que
ried:
What street arc we on, mammal
"On Broadway" replied the mother.
''Oh. mamma, let's not stay here any
longer" said the child. pleadingly. 1--WE
don't want TO go to hades."
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

Bacon-''When a man is in love every
thing about looks different to him" Egg
bert-"Yes; it's the same way when he
knocks his head against gas bracket"
-YonkerS Statesman.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20
Halls Catarrh Cure

i Is constitutional cure. Price rs cents
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

"A Philadelphia sojourning in New
York last week" says the Philadelphia
Record, took his 5-year-old boy with
him, and after travelling about the
streets for a time, viewing the various
points of interest. had occasion to use
one of the cross-town horse cars which
still creep along in their almost medi-
aeval way. The child had been greatly
interested in the tall buildings, the hur-
rying crowds, and particularly in the ele-
waited roads, but the horse cars were the
greatest surprise, as he had never seen
anything but the trolleys. To his youth
ful mind they We're also a startling i'm
provement, and he kept repeating: ooh,
papa, why don't we have horses pull the
cars at home, they're so fast"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

l asked my hotel proprietor at Nice a
few days ago if the season has been a
good one
'Oh, passable," said he; there has
been no lack Of visitors, but these Eng
fish devils cannot rest a moment in one
place. Where do you think they are off
to this year?'
Malta? Cairo?'
eyes, but worse than that To Omdur-
man, sir; Omdurman."
THE deuce. They lose no time.'
''No. The day after Omudrman was cap
tured they began to advertise Omdurman.
Cooks took it in hand and l should not
be surprised if there is already a temple.
a theater and a casino thereby Eclair
(Pari>
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

The teacher Of a school in the rural
districts assigned each pupil the task Of
writing an original story. On the day
when the stories were read bright lit
tie tOWhead arose and started as follows:
ION the green slopes of a mountair
stood a frst-class Jersey COW with three
legs
THAT won't do, Johnny interrupted
the teacher. You are one leg Short
No, l amt replied the future author.
that a railroad train cut off one leg, and
the owner Of the COW got $4,000 damages.
an moved his whole family to Paris in
time for the exposition, where the girls
will be married to rich Frenchmen and
die happy ever afterward."
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-06-20

poor. l never believed there could be
such restitution in this rich city
Mrs Walker-'Indeed? 2"
Mrs. Wheeler-''Why, [ found one fam
ily Of ten that had only one bicycle, and
that was a 90 model. New York jour
nal
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1899-10-21
Depot Items.

Beale Cockrell 81 Co. have opened a
stock of staple and fancy groceries. AMI
there is a good prospect of their sue
ceeding as the depot is increasing rap.
idly in all classes of business.
The Mississippi Cotton Oil Co has
erected a handsome building for thetur
pose lof conducting a strictly ginuery
business, having G70.saw gin stands.
and ginning cotton and wrapping it in
the best two pound jute bagging for
81. 90 per bale. all cotton insured from
the moment it is on the ground, TIE
outfit cost in the naighborhood Of s., coo
or $40, 900. and is a permanent improve
ment. General manager, S, NJ Irion.
DR.. Sol Adams from Fairfield, weigher
of cotton; Felix Grace, ginner; San
Walker, engineer,
Another fine improvement rs the Ma.
con Ginning and Mani & Co.'S building,
worth $4,000 or 1910 600, put up to gin
and pack the round bale; T. J Evans,
general manager; Col. Jas, Bransby,
press manager,
This competition in a business that
affects so large a class in this commu
nifty, has resulted in great benefit, not
only to the fatmer, but to business men
generally, as considerable amount of
money is distributed weekly by these
enterprises,
Cotton seed business is very lively
II | &c a bushel.
Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1899-10-21

The entertainment given by the United
Daughters Of the Confodaracy on the
evening Of October 18th was marked
success in every particular 1t is sci
dom THAT this audience ha, the pleasure
OF listening to voice Of such ex luisite
culture as Mrs. Lienkauff and the U
D. Z wish to extend to her their CRATE
full thanks for her kind assistance.
Miss Resale Baptist Of West Point
also remembered the Lost ahse %
and gave much appreciative help.
The undivided attention Of the audi
ence must have acted ms an inspiration
to the performers, for each number was
beautifully rendered; consequently a
most enjoyable entertainment was
given, The net proceeds was nfty-six
dollars which has heen added to the
Confederate Soldier 8 Monument fund
Again the U. D. c. extends thanks to
both performer and audience.