davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1899-07-26

Comfort is an ideal element, neatness
is another. Beauty of dress and house
hold ornament-these are ideal ele-
ments. The laws of health are as ideal
as they are practical. We have seen la
dies gowns that were poems much more
Enthusiastically than any they could
write, and not much inferior TO some
that have deservedly an honored place.
The practical can be made ideal by the
infusion of ideal elements into all the
arrangements of house and hcme. tbs
easier 10 do this when you have plenty
of money, but there are those that do it
without much. When Du Maurier was
girding at the aesthetic craze, he rep
resented the typical victim of it sitting
at a table with lily in vase before
him. and protesting that be could dine
sufficiently upon that. feasting his eyes
thereon. But at many tables one or
two dishes might be proftably ex-
changed for few flowers. IF you have
two loaves Of bread" said Mahomet,
exchange one of them for dafTodils;
for, while bread strengthened the
body, to look upon The daffodil re-
joiceth the heart. - Christian Register.
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1899-07-26
cHILDREN's MISTAKES.
by school Inspectors sn Eng
fish SchooIs.

Mr.. G. Stanley Ellis. in Gross Ques-
tons and Pointed Answers. gives some
amusing mistakes of school children
''In many schools which are we'll Taught
and equipped children make mistakes, -
MIR. Ellis says. which are most alb
surd until thought out, when they
often show "A reasoning power argreat-
er than might have been expected. For
instance, in the course of reading the
werd martyr was met. What is n
Martyr asked the inspector. "A wa
ter cart y water cart?' Yes, sir
The inspector was puzzled. But he
afterward remembered that he was in
the parish of st. George the Martyr.
This parish does its own contracting,
and the boy had seen St George the
Martyr painted on the water carts.
More simple was the reply to the same
question: Them red things wot they
sells on barrels 2"
Girls, Mr.. Ellis points out, some
times mix their religion with their
cooking lessons. A diocesan inspector
who asked: Why did Elijah pour wa
ter on the sacriice?' was answered:
To make the gravy, sir The early
Roman Christians were said to have fire.
quentcd the 'Capsicums.' and a famous
Dore picture was described rs Christ
Leaving the Petroleum. In Croydon,
a board inspector was trying TO elicit
the name of the weapon with which
Samson killed the Philistines. The
children were dense What is this?'
he suggested, laying his hand on his
cheek. They caught ON in a moment:
The jawbone of an ass. sir"
Some ludicrous answers result from
dialect. A boy in the west was read
ing: Her mate Eat bezide her an gang
a zweet gong" "Now. what is the sub
ject of the sentence?" '.Zider, zir."
In 'The Battle of Blenheim" the read
ing led to the line: 1.-The plowshare
turns them out" Turns what out?''
THE skulls. zir." "What are sl1ulls?''
"Bones of the ed without the mate on
n, zir." Apropos of the cuckoo: What
do you know about the cucloo?"
"Please, sir, it doesn't lay its own eggs,
sir."-Cornhill Magazine.
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1899-07-26
THE SPANISH GARRorE.
Relic of Modern Barbarian I'm
earthed from nm Old
Havana Prison.

Among the many relics of the Spanish
war taken to the governors palace for
cataloguing none is attracting more at
tention in Havana just now than the old
official garrote. The machine has been
in active service for more than a centu-
ry, the last executioner, an aged negro
convict, having presided at 40 cere-
monies. The garrote itself is a shabby
enough old trap, consisting mainly of
rusty iron and an unplaned board or
two. The dons are awfully punctilious
in regard to form, but scandalously
careless of appearance.
judge who might have seven kinds
of fits if he should omit one syllable of
the unfortunately long harangue de-
hvered at the scene of the Judicial muir
der would calmly officiate at the same
in condition which to the unframed
olfactories of the ignorant Yankees
might SAVIOR of the humble animal the
dons have declared we resemble. Thus
it is that the garrote is simple to excess.
1t is about ten feet high all told. The
platform, which is four feet from the
ground, is some six feet square. At
tached to the iron column which runs
through and supports this is an iron
chair. Two feet above this is the fatal
screw. The culprit ca is seated in this
chair with his hands and feet firmly tied
and his eyes blindfolded.
At the proper moment twirl is given
the screw. which penetrates his neck
and breaks his spinal column. The
operation may OF may not be very pain
full. If it were not for the peculiarly
tiendish manner IN which the affairs
were conducted there is reason to be-
lieve that the garrote is less inhuman
than either the rope or the chair 1t is
the Spanish who have thrown the
method into odium.-Cincinnati En-
Quirer
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1899-07-26

The recent talk in the public prints
upon the value of cranberries as a
prophylactic in grip has in it undoubt-
eddy an element of truth. The vege-
table acid of the berry is an excellent
alternative to the system. and materially
assists in the preventing of any clog
ging of the alimentary canal. This in
itself is an excellent ally. Lemons used
rather freely will be found to be equally
serviceable. A physician recommends
as very good tonic a glass of hot
lemonade, not too sweet, taken Just be-
fore going TO bed. II is not necessary
that this should have any alcoholic adj
dition-indeed, its medicinal effect is
better without II. The same practi-
TONER recommends the free use of sub
acid fruits during a fever epidemic. A
box of oranges in typhoid season will
often save doctors bill.-N. Y. Post.
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1899-07-26
HE HAD MARRIED A WIFE
nut the Absent-Minded Professor
Forgot All About II at the
Wedding Dinner.

Prof. Hopkins was for some years one
of the leading lights in New England
town, and the people who formerly as
ISOLATED with him and knew him in his
daily walk and conversation unite Ia
saying that a better neighbor, an ADLER
scholar, and a more pubIic-spirited, pa
triotic and intelligent citizen never
lived. At the same time they freely adj
NIT that he was tritle absent-minded.
On the day when the professor was
TO be married, which important step
was not taken until he had reached
middle age, it was noticed that he was
even more abstracted and absent-mind
cd than usual. Apparently his mind
was occupied with some particularly
hbstrusc and intricate problem, TO the
exclusion of everything else, and it
required all the fincsse and watchful
tact and diplomacy of his friends to
keep him up to his part and pilot him
safely through the ceremony.
When it was ended he took a seat at
the table with his new-made bride and
the wedding guests, and, still engrossed
with his problem, partook of the we'd
ding banquet in preoccupied silence;
at its conclusion, when the carriage
which was to convey the bridal couple
TO the train was announced, the pro-
fessor suddenly recalled that he had
planned going on a trip of some sort
on that day, and springing to his feet
he began sinking hands and bidding
the guests hurried bood-by.
When he reached the bride on his
rounds he cordially grasped her hand
his mind still intent on that problem
and said:
well. good-by, Miss johnson; l
hope l shall see you often upon my
return"
'I-why. really, L" stammered the
embarrassed bride; and then one of
her friends came TO the rescue, and
said:
why, professor, have you forgotten
that you have just been married? This
lady is Mrs. Hopkins now, you know"
'Oh, is she?" exclaimed the professor;
with his mental machinery still peg
ging away at the same old problem.
Happy to make your acquaintance,
Mrs. Hopkins; very happy, indeed 1
shall have to say good-by, but trust
! shall have the pleasure of meeting
you again"
Dropping her hand, the absent-mind-
ed professor was turning away, when
the quick-witted bride caught him by
the coatsleeve and blushingly whis-
pered:
''Why, Henry, aren't you going TO
take me with you?"
BLESS you, of course ami" ex-
claimed the professor, suddenly walk
ing up to a realization of the fact that
the lady by his side was henceforth
a part of himself. Got to have you
along to do my remembering for me.
just take my arm, Mrs. H., and we will
get started at once on our wedding
journey, while the matter is fresh in
mind. And, dearest. if do accident
ally lose track of you during the trip
or mt any time hereafter, l must plead
as my eXcnse the old proverb which
truthfully remarks that our greatest
blessings are the ones we are most apt
to forget. Albany Argus.
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1899-07-26
ROLLED HIM IN A BARREL
Punishment Pronounced Worse THAI
LynehfnE by One Who sus>
fered IL.

There's something barbaric about
lynching. as most people will agree.s
said the man with the broken nose
''but l can easily name two worse
things. One is rolling a man around
In barrel and the other is a coat Of
tar and feathers. In my foolish Young
days arrived at a town in southern In
diana to find the people excited over
several arrests for robbery. 4 family
named Black, consisting of man and
wife and a grOwn-up son, had been
caught and made to confess TO many
thefts. Instead of putting them on
trial, the people had determined 10 an
ply tar and feathers and walk 'em out
of town. had no objections so far
as the men were concerned. but when
1t came to the woman ] constituted
myself her champion and declared that
they must walk over my dead body irst.
For about five minutes l was a hero.
Then about a dozen men grabbed me
and hustled me into a room, and after
the Blacks had been dispatched of ac-
cording to programme, was brought
out for punishment. Plenty Of tar and
feathers were left, but the crowd want
ed a change, and it was decided that [
should have the barrel exercise They
got out and unheaded a big cider bar
rel, dropped me into II, and replaced
the head, and then all was ady.
II was inclined 10 look upon the pro.
ceedings with contempt. | had never
been rolled in a barrel, and so I had
no idea of the sensations. They first
kicked it along the wide unpaved street.
and il had not rolled over more than
20 times when I was sick of my lob
After they had enjoyed themselves Tor
a quarter of an hour / was PRAYING
for death to hurry up. l dimly remem-
bel, that after they got tired of the foot
ball work in the street they rolled the
barrel up a long hill. and then LEI 81 90
kiting down. You talk Of seasickness:
but there is no comparison. Aside
from the feeling of nausea, | was jnrred,
jolted and bruised from head to heels.
and in one of the bumps had my nose
broken ! was unconscious when they
finally took me out, and for a week I
was little better than a dead man. 10
was weeks and weeks before / got the
revolving motion out of my head and.
could walk straight, and 20 this day
can't see grindstone revolving with.
out being affected by it. 1t would have
been far more merciful TO hang me up
by the neck"
But about the tar and feathers"
was asked.
We'll, met the old man Black about
two years later. and he still smelled OF
the TAR. lie told me that it took a
weeks work with soap and water 10 get
the stuff started, and that spots were
left which couldn't be got of. even
when rubbed with brick. lie didn't
feel the degradation 50 much, but what
hurt his feelings was that he had been
obliged to put in more work Oh that tar
than in all his life before, He had tired
the barrel racket once, and he thought
it a shade worse than tar. but he had M
words of sympathy with ire. On rhe
contrary, he said il hadn't mixed in
the three Of them would probably have
got off with ride on a rail. "-Chicago
Inter Ocean.
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1899-07-26
Personal AND LITERARY.
Jules Verne usually begins writing
l,eforn ci,- n -

jules Verne usually begins writing
before six a. IN.
Joseph Hatton. the author and jour
nalist, takes ten-mile walk every day.
Rudyard kipling is said to be the first
poet who could afford to travel in pri-
vate car.
Marie Corelli receives 25 per cent. roy
atty on her books more than is paid
any other author.
Only two rulers of Russia since Peter
the Great have died natural death
Catherine III. and Alexander Ill, the ia
Their of the present car.
1t is said of the late William I. Ball,
of Boston, that no one ever misquoted
Shakespeare in his presence without be-
ing yehemently rebuked on the spot.
a Dickens of the third generation
has taken to novel writing. She is a
daughter OF Charles the Second" as
the eldest son was playfully called by
his friends.
The inventor of matches was a coun-
try doctor, Charles Marci Sauria. His
memory was honored recently by the
erection of a monument in the village
of Saint Lothaire, in the Jura.
Fred Noigt, who has leased the New
ark track for Sunday bicycle racing this
year, said that he will improve the tim
Der belt considerably in order to make
it more speedy.
Secretary Hay, in writing letter in
reply to Sir Alfred Austjn's letter to
him about certain imperfcctions of the
copyright law, calls the English poet
laureate "the dean of contemporary
English literature"
Jules Claretie proposes that the chair
in the French academy which has been
vacant since the death of Dumas for
ever remain SO out of honor TO its last
occupant and that another be created
TO fill up the requisite number of 40.
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1899-07-26
COME ONCE A YEAR.
SamOa-Is Regular &C.
currence.

One strange feature of this sea life of
the tropics is the regular recurrence of
migratory swarms of fish of very small
size, that return in huge numbers year
after year with such absolute regulari-
ty that the natives calculate on the
event on a certain day in each year, and
even within an hour or two of the day.
One such swarm of fish forms the occa-
sion of an annual holiday and feast at
Samoa. The fish is not unlike the
whitehall for which the English
Thames has so long been celebrated,
and each year it arrives at Samoa on the
same day, or at the most two days, and
then disappears entirely till the same
day of the following year. Why it
comes, or whence, no curious naturalist
has yet discovered, nor has anybody
traced its outward course when il leaves
the Samoan group; but the fact is I'M
questionable that suddenly. without no
tice, the still waters of the lagoon which
surrounds each island within the firing
ing reef become alive with millions of
fishes, passing through them for sin
gle day and night, and then disappear
ing for year as though they had never
come.
A visit to Samoa enabled me to see
this strange phenomenon for myself,
and to witness the native feast by which
it is celebrated year by year. / had
been in Samoa for month, and in that
month Ihad enjoyed almost a surfeit
of beauty. l had coasted the shores of
its islands in native canoes; L had
bathed in the warm, still waters of its
lagoons, fringed to seaward by the
white reef on which the ocean broke in
golden spray, and to landward by the
silver beach of coral sand, fiecked with
the tremulOus shadows of the swaying
palms. l had climbed with my native
guide the abrupt hills, covered with
dense forests of tropical luxuriance,
through the arcades of which caught
glimpses of the flash and luster of the
oceans myriad smile; and again we had
plunged into deep valleys among the
hills, where little headlong streams
murmur under the shade of the wide
spreading breadfruit trees, and wave
the broad leaves of the great water lily
of the Pacific islands.-Lippincott
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1899-07-26
TANNING A LANDLORD.
Getting Even for an Impudent
Restriction.

Leases as now drawn by owners ahd
agents OF fiat buildings contain many
queer conditions, but new species of
this restricting mania on the part of
landlords was recently developed on the
North side,
a retired farmer whose pride in his
family brought him 10 Chicago rented
n fiat last spring. He made his money
grubbing on a farm down in Schuyler
county, and as he has added many
acres to the original 100 in the same
way he comes pretty near knowing the
value of bargain. Not having much
TO do, he spends some of his time look
ing around in the big department
stores. One well-l1nown State street
headquarters for bargains has fur
nished a number of interesting shop
ping experiences for the old gentle
man. The other day he responded to
the tempting offers advertised and
bought several articles, which he or
dered sent to his new fiat. The next
morning after the wagon had delivered
the goods his landlord came up and
registered q vigorous objection 10 hav-
ing delivery wagons from that partic-
ular department store stop in front of
his building. The landlord and his fam
lily occupy the lower fiat in the build
ing, and they do no; want the neigh
bors turning up their noses at the sight
of bargain-counter delivery wagons
stopping there.
1T hurts the value of my building"
protested the landlord.
well, WE'LL" was all the old farmer
could reply as he caught his breath,
but there was a sparkle in his eye as
he watched the landlord go down the
back stairs.
well, welll" he muttered, as he again
tried TO catch his breath. Reckon this
is free country. Mother, l guess III
be going downtown"
As he got on a North side cable car
and began thinking about the matter
he got more and more incensed, and the
desire to assert his American indie
pendence grew apace. BY the time he
reached Madison street he had a swell
ing programme of vengeance in his
breast. He couldn't get to that depart
ment store fast enough. lie didn't look
for bargains that day. lie went to a
dozen departments in the store and or
dered things sent to his fiat. Some
things he didn't need, but he ordered
them just the same. Each department
of that store has its own wagons. They
began to arrive that evening. The next
day they arrived in relays. The land
lord grew frantic.
After the second wagon arrived the
landlord sent his wife to demonstrate
with his new tenant. The old farmer
sat in an easy chair in the front parlor
and chuckled behind his paper. Then
the third and fourth wagon drove up.
The neighbors began to notice the rush
of delivery wagons. They kept COM
ing all day, and the farmer continued
TO chuckle.
well, well!" he said, stroking his
white beard, 81 reckon that feller'll un-
derstand this is free country. after
this" as he looked over the pile of bun
dies on the kitchen Chicago In
ter Ocean.
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1899-07-26
HOUSEHOLD HINTS.
some Notes which May Come In
Handy to the busy House.
wife of To-day.

Saturate a piece of flannel with
paraffin, rub it lightly over picture
frames, mirrors, mantels, etc, and let
it dry. This will etfectually prevent fly
speeks, as flies will not go near paraffin.
Bachelor girls. cramped for room,
can cover dry-goods boxes with pretty
cretonne, use them for window seats,
and also for holding their shirt waists.
The boxes may be lined with bright
shades of sateen.
Preserve jars and bottles may be kept
proper care and attention. Rinse them
with solution of soda in hot water,
followed by cold water.
In cases where the contents have left
a strong or unpleasant smell, cleanse
with lukewarm water in which a guam
tity of mustard has been stirred.
To get rid of fatty or clinging sedi-
ments, fill the vessels with small pieces
of good thick blotting paper, add hot
water, and shake well two or three
times a day. Repeat with fresh paper
till the vessels are clean. Then fill all
the jars. etc, about three-fourths full
with solution of hypermanganate of
potash. which will be of the right
strength as soon as the mixture is of
a dull pink. Let this stand in them for
a couple of hours, then rinse them all
thoroughly in cold water, stand them
upside down to drain off all the mois-
ture, then put them in the open air,
mouth upward, to dry OF course, they
must be rinsed again before using the
next season.
The profession of closing and OPEN
ing houses has been recommended as a
good business for capable, trusty
woman. She could take entire charge
of covering furniture. putting away
bric-a-brac. screening pictures, looking
after the cellar. the water, gas, the
keys. etc. Then in September she could
open the house again. and have all
things in comfort and readiness for the
returning vacationers. In one instance,
gas burner had been left on at full
head through the entire summer-no
doubt by some maiden anxious as to
her crimps-and the resulting gas bill
would have paid the salary of house
closer several times over.-Housewife.
The Richmond climax. (Richmond, Ky.) 1897-1914, 1899-07-26
FLIES BY THE BILLION.
Strange Things Would Happen I'm one
Season II Nature Didn't
Interfere.

Prof. Howard, of the Washington
chronological bureau, has made a care
ful computation and declares that a
single female fly may in one season be-
come the ancestress of 4,472, 2S6, 1O3,-
62s, 715, 559, 1920 flies. This estimate sup
poses that all her progeny and descend
ants, generation after generation, sur
vive and enjoy favorable conditions for
the propagation of the species, which
condition of things does not occur in
nature.
Such figure is too vast for us to
grasp and we must reduce it to some
basis of reckoning. BY the very ac-
CITRATE weighing of one member of the
tribe of window-pane buzzers the
weight was found to be two cent?
grams-that is, it would take 1,40O flies
TO make an ounce avoirdupois. Meas-
urement showed that the creature was
four-tenths of an inch long.
With these figures we can arrive at
some interesting conclusions. To make
n pound 22,4OO flies would be required,
which means that 5O,176, 900 of the lit
tie pests so to the ton.
Try TO imagine a ton of hiesl Yet
1t is not such an extraordinary quanti-
ty. A good-sized elephant weighs ten
tons, yet it would be balanced on the
scale by only portion of the number of
flies mentioned by Prof. Howard.
Calculation shows that Howard's
enormous figure would make 5000, 00O,-
100000 fly elephants. But the remark
able nature of the statement is not
fully apparent without a little more
easy arithmetic.
To prevent the evil Of overerowding
among elephants it would be necessary
to give to each one an average space
measuring Is feet square-that is, 225
square feet. It follows therefore that
$4,000 fly elephants could stand on one
square mile of territory. But when we
look at that figure and compare IT with
our total of 5000, COO. OO0. 600 we ask our
selyes how great an area would be re-
quired TO accommodate them all. Near
ly twice the total area of the globe
would be needed TO give all those mon
sters standing Foom.-N. Y. World.