The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-12-03

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self" and indeed so pleasant is the occu-
patton that it is only those who are alb
normally shy who wish to do it by proxy.
There is a great difference between firta-
ton and courtship. The first is attention
without intention. 1t was we'll described
by Punch as "a spoon with nothing in
It." but the latter, though it may be
spoon too is a spoon with something
in it-that is to say, the intention to mar
ny. oh what a recreation 1t is" ex-
claimed an Irishman, Ito fall in love; 1t
makes the heart beat so delicately that
you can't get wink of sleep for the
pleasure of the pain.' DO you drame of
me- NIike?" asked a girl of her young
man. also Irish. "Drame of you. is it, me
darlin'? Why I can't get any sleep for
draining of you" After while, however.
it is felt to be relief to exchange this
painful pleasure, this restless dreaming,
for the sweet security of being engaged.
No doubt there are human butterflies who
fit from flower to flower, who weary of
what they possess, and who think no hills
green except far-off ones. The only
pleasure of wild hunters like Esau is the
chase Very different are heme-loving
for them if they are allowed to put en-
gagement rings on the Rachels ofTheir
choice, and can hope one day to settle
down with them. Readers of Charles
Kingsley's biography will remember how
a friend describes going to see him at
his little curate's lodgings, and, finding
him packing a portmanteau, into which
he was jumping in and out, exclaiming,
I'm engaged, I'm engaged, and I'm on
to see her!" Edwin or jim has proposed
to LeOnora or Lizzie and to her father "a
not equally pleasant task, and has been
accepted. He now establishes a protec-
torate over the young lady! The wedding
will be annexation. Being a protector he
must be perfectly chivalrous and pure
minded One is expected to give enthu-
siastic congratulations upon hearing Of
an engagement but it is not easy to do
this VIII the engagement ever be car
ried out, or does it mean as little as did
Beau BrummelTs affairs of this sort? he
thought it a part of politeness to get en-
gagged to all his lady friends.
HAPPINESS WOE.
4urs. Carlyle was thinking of the pos
sibiuties Of woe as we'll as of happiness
which a matrimonial engagement may
bring, when she wrote to a girl friend,
perhaps too candidly, that she almost
screamed when she read in her letter an
announcement that she was engaged.
Still, it IS we'll sometimes in life to take
short views, and if we do this it is not
difficult to sympathize with the present
happiness of engaged people. We may
think that they are living in a fools par
adise but scripture tells US to suffer
fools gladly, and If they f1aunt their hap
niness in our face and look at US as If
they expected US to apologize for being
in the same world with them-wen, per-
haps. we were not less irritating long
ago when we were in the same interest
ing (to ourselves) condition. If people
are not at their best when engaged when
will they be? According to Leigh Hunt,
no reasonable person ought to marry
who cannot say, My love has made me
better, and more DESTROYS of improve
Iaent than I have BEEN and he himself
could say that love for his wife had sub
dued the violent temper that once pos
sessed him. The prospect of marriage
with Margaret Simpson had good eff
feet upon De Quincy. During his en-
gagement he reduced his daily dose of
opium from $40 grains to 40 All engaged
persons should prove the sincerity OF
their love by reducing their daily dose of
whisky, of cigars, OF gambling, OF out
bursts of temper, of frivOlity, Of ex-
trayagauce In dress, or of any other pol
sOner of domestic life. Certainly do
know young men who have given up al
most all small luXuries in order to be
able sooner to afford that greatest lux
ury in Hfe-a good wife. Sometimes there
is not much self-restraint shown by the
V-1
seem to realize that love has sacred
and serious side, that 1t is more than
modern fair ones jest, more than sub
iect FOR fun and banter. When they be
come engaged these frivOious people will
not put aside their inordinate love OF
ftirtat ton. The results are Jealousy, jill
ing, breach of promise of marriage. Ihere
are girls who might be described as hav-
ing been extensively engaged. They
have little reason TO be proud of them
selves To say the least, the peach must
have lost its bloom. People should know
their minds before they become engaged.
Indeed in many countries the betrothal
is considered almost as sacred as mar
rage, and there is a religious service for
It. N hen thoughtress girl gives up
good man she may not be much loss her
self, but she may be the means OF cals-
ing considerable financial loss The writ
er knows two men, who, being engaged
and expecting soon to be married beau-
TRULY furnished houses. Even the lamps
were trimmed and put ready for lighting
in one of them. Without any apparent
reas6n at the last moment, the ladies
hanged what they were pleased to call
their hearts, and now the houses are
shut I'D and the furniture is spelling.
Without seIf-restrant there can be no
continued happiness; ard if there is not
perfect purity of thought, word and deed,
cloud will overshadoW not only the en-
easement period but the marriage that
follows. The young people should respect
and try to bring out what is best in each
other.
LONG ENGAGEMENTS.
Happy is the wCoing that Is not long
In doing"
We do not approve Of long engagements
for people may grow away from each
other in tastes and feeling. Neither if
the engaged couple may see anyone they
Ike better, but too much thinking about
the ties and responsibilities of matrimony
may make them DESTROYS of crying off.
A six months engagement We would say
Is quite long enough. 1t is better to take
the ball at the hop, so to speak. and
marry in the ardoUr of first love. Think
of all the money which is spent during
lon< engagement, upon postage and tele
gramsi The writer knows a girl who laid
out two shiliings one day on kilograms
to her young man, though she knew that
he was coming to see her next morning,
when she could have given her own mes
sage It was q trifiing question about
the furniture of their first home a mat
ter which has given my friends so much
trouble that they must envy the cuckoo
which : the child said