Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-01-12
WHERE DEATHS A STRANGER.
why Maine Man Could Not
Buy n Farm Up Yellow
House Way

Il had some money left to me- bv a
relative who died not long ago. said
Bartholomew Keiser, of Reading, Pa.
land as had long had desire to own a
farm somewhere among the Munataw-
ney hills, near the quiet hamlet of Vel
low House, if possible, l thought I
would invest some of that legacy in
such a farm, and live pastoral life the
rest of my days. So 1 went over to Yet-
low House, which isn't far from Read
ing, to find out what 1 could buy farm
for in that vicinity. The citizen of
whom l asked information looked al
me in establishment awhile, and then
exclaimed:
What can you buy farm around
here for? Why, dang il, man, you can't
buy farm around here for any price!
There has been but one farm sold here
in more than 40 years, and that was
sold a week ago. and folks are talking
about it yet. II was the Widow Krause's
farm. The widow isn't so years old yet,
and she wouldn't have been a widow If
Joe krause, her husband. hadn't been
killed in a runaway accident year ago.
Joe was coming 30 then. and was driv-
ing pair of colts he was breaking. The
widow is hale and hearty yet. 1 tell
you, and folks haven't begun to get
through talking about her selling the
farm. Then she's going TO move away.
That's the funniest part of it
THE citizen turned to another citi-
zen at this point and said to him:
What under the canopy do you sup
pose the widow is going to move away
from Yellow House for?'
''Well, sir replied the other citizen.
4 think it's just because she's tired of
life
The first citizen pondered moment.
then slapped his leg and exclaimed:
That must be ii, by hoky!'
Now this was all very pulling to
me, and 1 guess L must have looked it.
for the first citizen spoke, and said:
How old do you s'pose l be?'
Il replied that l thought he might
perhaps be GO; but, to tell the truth. he
didn't look it. He laughed and shook
his head, and said in jolly sort of way:
why, I'll never see so again; l am
past so. And Abe here is Saint it
81. Abe?'
1T was So a year ago. replied the
other citizen. Its 81 now-S4 week
ago yesterday and he didn't look day
older than his friend.
And Marg Rush is go continued
the first citizen, and Sam Fritz is o.
Sally Dunn is SO, and she and Abel have
been married " years. 1 don't know
Just how old Abel is, but he must be a
couple o years older than Sally yet.
There's Ad Rhoads and Dave Herner
and John Francis and Abe Focht.
Every one of 'em is crowding 80 pretty
close. The youngest of EN- is Ad
Rhoads, and he told me only yesterday
that he was IS past. As for folks that
are so, 1 can't count EN- up. Mary
Rhoadarmel is 50 and is something of
a curiosity. because she had husband
who only lived TO be "a. Folks don't
often die early around here, and never
saw a bigger funeral than Joe Rhoad-
armel had. Zeke Rhoads and Dave
Davidheiser are past IS. Marth Breiden-
bach lives three miles back yonder. and
shes So. But she walks in here to
church and back every Sunday, and
uses her Bible and hymn book without
glasses. John and Lot Wagner are
twins, and they're 50. Why, say. there
are only 65 inhabitants in Yellow House,
and 80 cf them are over IS. A 60-year-
cld's a youngster.'
The citizen pondered again and
presently said:
buy a farm around here! Not il
YOU could cover it with dollar bills! |
Life is too hard 70 dispose of in this gar
den spot of the Munatawney hills for |
people TO want to sell out and get away. |
That's the reason the Widow krause |
has sold out and gone away, Joe, sure |
as YOU Iivei She's tired of life! Who |
is that skipping along so brisk over |
wonder, Joe? Jake Frey, amt it?'
That's who il is replied the citi-
zen's friend joe
"sNovx, you'd hardly take Jake TO be /
90 said the citizen, but he IS. Won
der where he's going so fastT
why, to Squire Shoemaker, said
Joe. He's going to sign another ten |
years lease of the farm he's living on.
$50 left Yellow House disappointed. /
Nobody had a farm TO sell anywhere /
near that apparent fountain OF youth.
and I couldn't blame 'em much-coulo
Won ON Y. Sun.