Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1899-11-02

First Dear Girl have no friends
10 speak OF. Second Dear IGirl-Lucky
friends.-Life.
Madge-My fance's name appears In
"Whos Who" Marjorie-But mine 10
In Bradstreets.-Town Topics.
"Pa, what Is an illustrated songT
Goodness, Dickey! ask your Aunt Kit
ty; when she sings she makes faces
Puck.
Dolly-Dick, I've seen the Obelisk in
Central Park. Dick-Huh! That's
nothin'. I've seen 'em feed it!-New
Voice.
Britisher-England expects every
man to do his duty. American--But
will our heiresses hold out?-TOwn
Topics.
Mrs. McLubberty-Mu rty, do yez be-
lave the dead walk? McLubberty--Av
coorse! Dyes s'pose they can afford to
be roidin' ahl the toime?-Judge.
my daughters music" sighed the
mother, has been a great expense"
"IndeedY returned the guest; ''some
neigbbor sued you, suppose? '-Bos-
ton Traveller.
Uncle Bob-Well, frankie, what are
you going to do this vacation? frankie
Last year 1 had humps and chicken
pox. This year don't know what I'm
going to do.-Bazar.
Little Clarence-Pa, money talks,
doesn't tt? Mr.. Callyiers-T guess SO,
my son. Little Clarence-Well then
pa, gimme a penny, SOS l can hear II
whisper to me a little.-Punch.
"a splendid stroke! Did you follow
the Dali, caddieY mo, sir, but think
that gentleman with the red coat can
tell you where it struck. I see him
feeling of his head."-Tit-Bits.
First Sailor-So you lost your wife
last month? Wasn't it terrible blow?
Second Sailor-It wor a regular lorna
do. She cleaned out everything in the
house before she eloped.-Judge.
Freddie (age six) was seated in a
BARRIERS chair. "Well, my little man."
said the barber. "how would you like
your hair cut?" Like fathers, with
a round hole at the top."-Woman's
Journal
"Do you dahnce on your toes, Miss
QuickwitY Meyer, Mr.. e~Clnmsey.
Other people do that for me-" And
he didn't know just what she meant
until he tried to get anOthers. dance
with her.-Colorado Springs Gazette.
Tommy's mother Why Is r. Tommy,
that you are always fighting with Willie
Simpkins? never heard of you quar-
reling with any Of the other boys in
the neighborhood. y ToAmy-3ae's tn
on'y one kin Observation-Disclosures State
Journal. t@sE-sga. !, k-gr
Tomwell--It's aswise man who knows
when he is well off. ,Page-Yes Tom
well-Jackard told me that everybody
was talking about my new book Page
And what then snA&eN1I was
foolish enough to aslsswhatfhey said
Boston Transcript.
'Of course, Norah, youskhow that
marriage is very sersoasathing." said
Mrs. rockingham to her cook, who had
told her that she was aboutato set up
housekeeping for herself. "Yes, I'M,
know that" replied Norah; "but 1t isn't
half so serious as being single. "-Bazar.
Judge-Did you steal the hog, or did
you not? Prisoner-No, judge, / did
not; but If yo' kind OBJ thinks Use lynn
ABOUT 1t, and am gwine to give me six
months for lynn, I'd sooner lie about 1t
and say l did steal de hog, and get two
months for stealth de hog 1 didn't
| stole PUCK.
81 would like to know" said the gruff
old father to the young man who had
been calling with considerable fire.
quency, whether you are going to
marry my daughterT $50 would l."
answered the dffident young man.
"Would you mind asking herT-Chi-
cago Evening Post.
That's the best / can do for YOU"
said the theatrical manager. you've
been idle all season, SO far; now. will
you stay idle the rest of the season. or
take this small partT' 'Ill take it,"
said Lowe Comerdy; ain this case
small role is better than whole loaf"
Catholic Standard and Times.
First American correspondence have
| just wired home for ten thousand dol
lars. Second American correspondent
What do you want of such a sum as
that? First American correspondent
only wanted one hundred dollars, but
was afraid IL asked for that it would
| be censored down to one dollar.-Chica-
go Tribune.
Question: charge more for porter
house steak than you used to. Why Is
it? Proprietor of restaurant-I have
to pay more for it. The price Of beef
has gone up. Guest-The steak Is
smaller than 1t used to be. too. Pro-
rietor of restaurant-That. OF course,
is on account of the scarcity of beef
Chicago Tribune.
To-day l am assailed for buying a
seat i'm the United States Senate" quoth
the rich man bitterly. Yesterday
was assailed for buying titled son-in-
law! The day before yesterday was
| assailed for buying family crest. II
had kept my money and bought moth
ing, / should still be assailed. | dare
say."-Detroit Journal.
"If you can help it," said the girl in
blue never let any one buy your little
brother drum" why not?" "Well,
just as Lieutenant Brown seemed to be
ron chino thu pnint of pronocinr Ioct