Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1899-09-16
A MUTILATED POET.
HIS LINES WE'RE LAME, BUT WERE
PRINTED LAMER.

Arose In His Wrath and VninIy
Tried to show the Editor the Error
of His Ways.
When western editor was sitting in
his office one day, man whose brow
was clothed with thunder entered.
Fiercely Selling n chair, he slammed
his hat on the table, hurled his UNI
brclla on the floor and sat down.
Are you the editor?" he asked.
"NcS"
"Can you read writing?"
"Of course"
"Read that, then" he said, thrusting
at the colonel an envelope, with an in
scription upon It,
"B"- said the colonel. trying to
spell it,
That's not b. It's an s." said the
man.
''S oh, yes; | see. Well, it looks like
Salt for dinner, or Souls of Sinners"
said the colonel.
NO. sir" replied the man; nothing
of the kind That's my name-Samuel
II. Drummer. | knew you couldn't read.
mine you printed the other day on the
'Surceasc of Sorrow"
81 don't remember it," said the colo
mel.
"Of course you don't, because it went
into the paper under the infamous title
of 'SmearCasc Tomorrow
"A blunder of the compositor's, sup
pose"
Yes, sir; and that's what l want to
see you about. The way in which that
poem was mutilated was simply scan
dalous. | haven't slept a night since.
1t exposed me to derision. People think
that | am an ass. Let me show you.
The first line, when | wrote it, read in
this way:
Lying by weeping willow, underneath a gentle
slope.
THAT is beautiful, poetic, affecting.
Now, how did your vile sheet present
1t to the public?
'Lying to weeping widow to induce her to elope.
weeping widow, mind you! A wild
ow. Oh. thunder and lightning! This
is too much.
''But look a-here at the fourth verse.
That's worse yet:
"Cast thy pearls before the swine and lose them
in the dirt
''IIe sets it up in this fashion:
"Cart thy pills before the sunrise and love them
if they hurt
"Now, isn't that n cold blooded out
rage on mans feelings? I'll leave it
to you if it isn't"
It's hard that's fact" said the
colonel.
and then take the fifth verse. In
the original manuscript it said, plain
as daylight:
'Take away the jnglng money; it is only gilt
terng dross.
'Tn it's printed form you made me
say:
'Take away the tingling honey; put some flies
in for the boss.
"By George, felt like Draining you
with a fire shovel. / was never so cut
up in my life There, for instance, was
the sixth verse. l wrote:
81 am weary of the tossing of the ocean as it
heaves.
at is a lovely line too. But imagine
my horror and the anguish of my fam
lily when | opened your paper and saw
the line transformed into:
81 am wearing out my trousers till they're open
at the knees
"That is a little too much. That
seems to me like carrying the thing an
inch or two too far. | think l have a
constitutional right to murder that
compositor; don't you?"
81 think you have"
LET me read you one more verse. l
wrote:
81 swell the flying echoes they roam among
the hills
And feel my soul awakening to the ecstasy that
thrills
"Now, what do you s'pose your mis-
cradle Outcast turned that into? Why,
into this:
81 smell the frying shoes they coast along the
bulls,
And peel my soul mistaken in the erctary that
whirls.
81 must STAY that man. Where is
he?'
"He is out just now" said the colo
mel. Come in tomorrow"
IL WILL" said the poet, land | will
como armed "-Eychonua