The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-06-25
|EPIzOOT WILKINS.
1ernmbOOIashuns Around Moo
FIX" While Trying to HarmOnize
emocrntic DiHerences-He FnvOrM
Tu the Editur:
WASHINGTON, D. C.

2. NnG Secession OF new Jersey.
WASHINGTON, D. C.
Tu the Editur:
Doorin my peramboolashuns around
Moo York l run intu moar different
kinds NV Dimicrats than kin be yootiized
tn advantij in a presidenshul kampane
wen yu amt got enuff votes tn start with.
hev alreddy ritten about the Tammany
samples and their gilt edged mogul, Mr.
Richard Croker. The severil uther kinds
wuz represented at the dollar dinner given
to Mr.. William J. Bryan bi men hoo Good
drink shampane il tha Good git it, or hoo
Good squeeze thru the evenin on beer if
1t wuz plentiful. 1 attended the humbel
feed in the interests Nv harmony, fer I
foreseen thet these fitin facshuns wood hev
TO be harlnonized before tina Good be turn
cd over tn ennybuddy next year. Mr.. Bryan
Is brite yung man, but he talks tn much
at the rong time and not enuff at the rite
time He hez but wun idee-free silver
and thet hez grown ontil he sees nothin
else. He kinnot redooce his enthOOsiasm
fer silver long enuff tn konsider a reeson-
able proposishun frum the goldbugs hoo
kin turn jack and win the game in 1900. /
Vile Good reddily support him misef If
he showed me reeZonS enun at proper /
rasho, am afrade he wunt du fer sich /
STATESMEN ez Mr.. Croker, hoo kin maik a /
rasho Nv hiz own ez long ez he runs Moo
. York city in the interest NV pure politix
the Tammany brand.
Ia final feed tn wich 1 invited miself
2he, workinmans dinner, WHARF Mr.
N held up Thomas Jefferson cz a man
NOT much infeeriur tn hizself in sum
minor respecks. I felt moar at home
aiming sich a mkt assemble than l did
WHARF, l wuz expected tn ware Il wife shirt
and swaller tale coat, fer it IL always
hoomiliatin tn be obliged tu masquerade
eZ a gentleman.
l hev felt much enthoOsed Nv late over
the proposishun made bi Guvener Pin
gree NV Michigan-the man hoo taught
the Irish how tn raise potatoes in the
streets-in faver NV havin the rest NV the
stats petishun Moo Gersey tu secede from
the Yoonion and set up in bizness bi her
self Sich a sensible proposishun ez thet
ort tn fill the sole NV every Moo Gersey
Dinicrat with joy. 1t IL egzactly whut
hev bin longin fer-tu hev sum place
WHARF we Good be free frum the obnoxshus
infiooences NV people hoo don't think ez
we du. Fz long cZ we rename sublcck tn
the degradin assosiashun NV people hoo
kno moar than we du, we shell always be
in danger Nv gittin lickt at the elecshuns.
Tt woodn't maik no difference what we
kalled the moo government, wether it wuz
a stait or a republik or a kingdom, so
long ez it kontained the essenshal ele-
ments NV Dimocracy ez practist in Hud-
son county by the imported repeeters NV
Moo York We Good in a short time revo-
looshunize things and overtime the present
unnatural condishun NV affares hi deposin
the existin stait government and installin
in its place wun upon wich Good look
with moar tolerance. We Good then he in
dependent NV the Oppressiv legiSlashun
: 'enactid agin ballot box stutfin, hOss racin,
gamblin and moonshine applejack- We
Good soon maik laws thet wood cnkurrlJ
progressiv Republicans tn leev the stait
and thus enable the Dimicrats tn return
tn their own. Grover Cleveland wood
naturally be our president OF king, wich-
ever we concloodcd III call him. He wood
feel at home in either place. FL presi-
dent he noze how to dodge the laws and
bring on an attack NV kalamity thet wood
strengthen us and free the laberin man
frum continooal toll Free traid and rev
enoO reform, sich cZ he Civ the whole
kountry wen he wuZ larst president NV ii,
wood du the biZness Ii it wuz thort best
tu hev him cz a king, he heZ all the ncs-
sesary qualificashuns. He Good pla the
part tu perfckshun and not be Obliged tn
disgize hizsclf He Good recall the livin
members nv his cabinet, clOthe them in
sum distinguishin livery, and tha wood be
ez obsequius ez tha WIZ before lie Good
put us ali in offs and keep us thare in
spite NV sivil servis laws. He Good appint
sum NV US tn furrin misshuns and cstah
i lish diplomatick relashuns with Moo York,
Chicago, Toledo and other places where
thare amt no Republican mayors. He Good
call on Professor Wilson tn git up n new
tariff bill and thus relieve Us Nv the oJus
Dingley tariff that is prodoocin tn much
revenoo hi its oppressiv tax on wiskCy and
other aids to Dimocracy. | shoOd favul
maxim applcjack our nashunal bcverij and
hev all laws deklared unconstitooshuna
that interfeered with its nanoofacture OF
absorbshun. kin see menny advantage:
to be gained frum cuttin loose frum other
secshuns NV the kountry, and l shcl set
whut kin be dun toward establishin The
republik or the kingdom NV Moo Gersey
I shood think the Republikins wood b'
glad tn git rid NV US fer we hev put en-
tu good deel uv expense tn enforce the
laws agin us, and tn mcnshun the ram'
NV Moo Gersey Dimicrat in Repubiki il
Strikes il like shakin red rag in frun
NV an enthusiastic bull Tha ort not Il
oppose our seccshun, but it wood be jis
like 'em tn Gu 1t on the pf.nSlple NV gen
eral kussidness. fur tha always -agii
whutever a Moo Gersey Dimicrat think
he wants The fnanShul department u
the moo guverment-if we kin establish /
i think Good safely he left tn eX sen
atur Jim smith and other trends uv tn
Sugar trust Then we Good slap the take
ontu ell the other trusts thet hcv organ
p lied in Moo Gerscy, and if tha wantid =
git out we Good tax EN- twict ez much e
it wood cost EN- tn stay where tha ar
In this wa we Good start upon shoe
foundashun fer meens tn pa the salarie
NV the offisholders. wich, after all, IL til
first dooty NV any government establisht j.
Moo Gersey Doorin the 80 yeers Wv Dimi
cratic rool in the stait we never failed I
draw the salaries with periodical regular
ity, with whutcver indepn nndent pickins W
Good git. 1t hcz bin the same wen we he
bin in kontrol nv the government at Wash
ington. Our offisholders hev alwaze hi
men hoo hev bin willin tn work fer hiz p