Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1899-04-25
woNDsnFvL rwIrT.
| NO ONE couKD MAKE HIN PAT rAxcr
PRICES.

Any DEAR said Mr. Twitt McNsggest,
90 he scowled ct biz wife's new bonnet,
'.there are people who never should 60
out without guardian or chAper0n
or general manager, and you're one OF
EN-.
"why, what have done now, Twittw
queried Mrs.. McN. nervously. "Y0u
told me 70 boy bonnet and gave me the
money for It."
"Fourteen dollars for = thing like
that erowled the irate husband.
why, Il never cost Q c6nt more than
four! And those are the kinds OF
swindles that are making young men
shy 1t marriage aud driving 'em straight
to the devil"
20, how dreadfully you tslk," pro-
tested his wife. Everybody says the
hat ID great bargain"
ibid you beat 'em down" he de-
manded.
"why, no, dear, I didn't. II was
fashionable place and there were . lot
Of stylish people, and IL didn't like
co."
bah. That's where my money goes
All those shopwomen have two prices.
II you'd have said $40 they'd have
Jumped ut L."
III don't think they would, dear"
~ know they would. Put on your
hat and come out with me. I'll show
you how to buy things"
So the meek little wife did a. she was
directed, aud trotted out beside her lord
and master.
~ want hat myself" he said, "and
I'll let you see how the thing Il DONE"
They entered comfortable looking
hat store, and Mr.. McNa2gett gave his
order with military precision.
"a white alpine, seven and quarter
size, medium brim. wide black band"
The shopman bowed and disappeared
amid perfect citadel OF hat boxes.
THAT'S the way to do the trick" said
the model shopper TO his admlring wife.
mo long waste Of tune talking and
arguing aud making up your mind"
The halter appeared with sample
that Mr.. McNsgge,t tried on aud in'
dignantly discarded.
I'm not Buffalo Bill" he growled,
Il want to look like native OF New
York, not like come on from wyo.
ming. That brim's too WIDE"
The purveyor OF hesdgear sgain dis-
appeared, to come to the surface with
another hat.
This Mr. McNsgeett tried on, and then
looked st himself In the mirror with
some satisfaction.
THAT'S more like It," he said; "don'l
you think so?"
His wife trembled.
"well, desrie," she replied, "it seems
too small. The brim isn't wide enough
"You have rather fat face, you see,
| added the unfortunate shopmsn, land =
| vide brim IL more becoming"
Mr.. McNaggett turned on him like a
tiger.
"who's 20, fat fsce:" he rosred.
''whst dye mean by insulting your
customers? Where's the proprietor"
IL am the proprietor"
"Ob, you are, ehf Well, you ought tc
have better sense. This hat suits m'
and I'm the one to wear It. How much
it?'
-Four dollars" murmured the sbssh-
ed merchant.
-Four whsty'
| -Four dollars"
Never! Never In the world. car
buy that hat down town for two ninety
"Not that hat"
YES, that hat"
mo, sir. An imitation, but not ths
quality"
"i'll give you three dollars for It."
] "No, sir, | would not take three
ninety-nine."
And ne jsmmed the hat back into the
box With au air of indignation, while
Mr.. McNsggett dragged his wife to thu
door.
Come, let's get out o! this" he shout
ed. "They can't swindle me"
And his spouse followed him out viii
happiness 10 her heart such ~ she ha'
not known since she wore her brida
veil.-New York Herald.