The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1899-12-02

include them all. and then II all come the
RIGHTEOUSNESS a The affair spells IN all
The reception In the form Of crush at an
afternoon tea, the most inclusive and the
cheapest way Of entertaining t. deserv-
eddy popular. but 20 j. not elegant FOR no
personal compliment is conveyed bv being
Invited 20 IL. though II one Is omitted
there is legitimate cause for personal
grievance. Even II a hostess could be sure
or carrying out progressive social series
OF teas. Offense r. often taken at not
having been summoned az the same time
when some one else was hidden. and so
she has recourse 20 naming several davs
on the same card. trusting 10 the law %
averages 10 distribute her friends imper-
sonally.
on. the folly OF II all, When Il Is only
Z matter Of personal independence which
can be sheathed in grace Why not dare
20 invite at different times those whom
one wishes, and then make each one feel
she IS especially desired? Practically this
- zone al dinner parties and lunches. the
dinner party being the most rigorous In
etiquette. the most coruplirnenra-,, IN 49,,
70 guest and the most disturbing OF So
car FORCES 10 the average American
household. But OF all social absurdItias
'Ae notion that the essence OF honor IN
a guest lies in the expense OF a dinner a
sne most unhattering o the dignity OF
human nature. IL IS the people whom
one meets not the menu. neither the Tow
OF a dinner -
90 back we are driven 20 "tbe liz, .
JUST because most persons DO not know
no" 70 De brilliant In general conversa-
uuh are most dinner parties stupid VvhiIe
dinner CT tete-a-tetes is ab0minably bad
.ii@iIhers; hostess should always plan
- seat her guests so that there viii bs
W OF three starters OF general talk. Do
not put monolOgist where he can COM
mahd attention. Quench him between
Two gossips. Do not avoid earnestness.
even seriousness, but know when 10 re-
AeFe IL oy anecdOte. graceful and sliding
changes OF conversational base. "a IN il
ominous Of trouble to swerve of fror, =
'opic abruptly. Each guest must feel a
personal responsibility for the good times
on others. not 50 much by shining harsstr
as ~ drawing out others.
The secret OF success in ENTERTAINERS Ia,
IN this power over others. A certain Boz-
ton husband and wife were much sought
Ior al dinners because where thew vvera
ap went delightfully."-: only a few knew
that the couple deliberately planned az
tack and resistance In talk, FOR 81 CONF.
married people are always placed AZ on
POs''e ends or table. The fashion OF
dinner parties for buds" IL ar7rst-,,-
since buds" and college lads do ~, 80.
how 70 talk Early middle age. saw q A.
soon enough 10 begin as a dinner de-
butante.
why raw oysters. soup. fish. etc
should follow each other with -sg.-,--
omic infexib!lty Is again anusinv n,
would be relief 70 have baked bears n.
an enuee rather than a vol-au-vent. put
Whether the dinners be little and IN
formal or big and formal the one lndis-
afs l.
guests.
Leisure Is another Ingredient IN .,,a--
tainment which not even rich peopl. -
sess II they are philanthroplc. II taka.
Up TINE 20 have succession OF small To-
uVities. whether balls. dinners lunches
or teas. and yet 20 acquire fame a. an
entertainer one must be constantly AZ n
on limited scale. as far as number ~
guests Is concerned. Disagreeable a. %
the cant phrase small and select" II ex-
presses Just what Is necessary for sla
sance and intellectual pleasure. The
habit OF mere liOnizing IS noxious 70 both
the hero and his clientele Emerson
avoided being lion. whereas DR.. Holmes
took u kindly ard facetiously. Lowell Re-
garded such servility as a passing show
and Whittier regatived II indefinitely
Why must one always be invited 70 meet
somebody Why cannot we 20 into So
clely 70 meet ourselves. just as we do az
clubs. church sOciables and young pe0-
pies associations. where we are atWav-.
sure OF having a good time as squals7
IL. however. We are bent on N0nizfn~
then We must remember that shaking
hands with an unknown crowd does MT
convey the same sense OF adulation 20
the distinguished guest as when a greater
person than ones self Is humbIy pre-
seuted.
A third requisite In skillfuI entertaining
lies In this very matter OF introductfons
Not merely 10 pronounce the name. bur
20 give some clew as 10 who Is who. IN
hnger an apprectable second thar a.
hostess one may be sure that the two
have not At once run aground into
silence; TO know by intuition Just wren
20 break Into the talk OF two persons. 10
let no one feel lonely: TO make each one
realize he is comforting a special favor
upon somebody else-this Is Diplomacy
the sympathetic tact OF entertaining %
II comes that 10 Is a faIIacy 70 suppose
brtlliancy rather than sympathy and
grace is more important 10 a hostess
Fortunate Is she II she possesses all three
charms, hut IL only one MAJ it BE thai -
the sympathy which puts other people at
their happy ease.