davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-27
The Passing of the "Hayseed -

Who does net know him, with his
goat-like beard, his wispy hair, his
'gslluses" of homely cut, his trousers
evolved by the seeming aid of buzz
saw, his voice Of AN impossible rasali-
ty, his speech uncouth, his gestures un-
calmly, his greenness amazing? Who
has not seen him on the stage of the
the vaudeville farce or outlined by the
overworked earicatnrist? Noone.
We are familiar with him from at
surd hat to ludicrous footwear, and
have been for years. Who sees him on
the streets of Northwestern cities to-
day? No one.
In modified form he exists in that
part Of the nation which Bostonese are
wont 10 call "way down East" He
also exists to some extent ina the New
England that is nearer Boston than
Maine, while from New York and New
Jersey he is hot altogether absent.
West of line drawn north and south
through Chicago he is rare-at least as
an indigenous variety.
The passing Of the 'hayseed" is de-
sirable- As the farmer becomes more
like him of the city he and his chill.
dren will care less for the so-callefi de-
lights Of metropolitan life. will rtcag-
Dize hi~ innate and iBdestruclibIe indie
pendenne, and will be better satisfied
with his lot. = Minneapolis Times.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-27
Dairy Notes.

Much milk requires much feed.
Millet is good TO increase the flow OF
milk.
Do not breed from COW tha, has
aborted twice.
Don't use beef cows if you want to
succeed in dairying.
Cows will not do their best unless
we'll hous, d and fed.
Are squashes good for milch cows ?
asks subscriber. Yes.
Don't expect for skim milk cheese
the price that Edam brings.
No successful dairyInan allows his
cows t. be chased by u worthless eur.
1t is not always meanness that makes
COW breaehy; il is frequently hunger.
Ii churning is done at too high a
temperature the butter will not be per-
feet
Milk should be aerated and cooled, if
1t is expected TO keep aud please the
customer.
When you think the COW has hol-
low horn, let the horn alone, but fee d
to bring up the general system to "A
healthy condition.
Milking should be done as nearly at
the same hour OF the day as possible.
Cows do better when trained to regu-
lariiy in milking.
While the people Of Great Britain
pay S5O,OO0,OOO for imported butter, 10
American dairyman ought TO be dis.
clursged.-Farm News.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-27
lie lad Nnt Changed.

was in barber shop presided over
by a cOlored artist the other day AM
while | was being shaved there came
In a colored hack driver who demanded
81 that the barber owed him tOr hack
at n funeral
Come in mex week an I'll have it.
said the barber, as he continued to
scrape.
But the creditor got on his ear.
Look a-hyarT' said he. ''I'ze Sittin
mighty tired O. comm erOun here after
dis yerc money. Hit's always de same
thing. Come eroun mex week. I wants
ma money, J come in las week an yO'
tole me ter come ag'in mex week. an I
comes mex week an yO' tells ne ter
come de week after wants ma mon
eyr'
With that the Earber took the middle
OF the floor and declared himself.
Look a-hyar, black man." said he.
''whut yO' pesterin me about yO' mon
ey? Isn't l done tole yO' to come mex
week; What yo' expect? I've done
tole yo' de same thing all de time. Mex
week. mex week, l tole yo' dat las
week an l tells yo' dat now. | hasn't
changed. Tze prepared to do jes' whut
/ says. Memphis Scimitar
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-27

The recent conclusions OF the French
scientists. NM. Loewy and Puiseux. as
TO the possible presence Of some gas
eous envelope on the moea's surface
are of very general interest. After
giving reasons for conclClilg that the
formidable volcanic erupti0ns of which
the moon has been the theater belong
TO a recent time in the history Of our
satellite. they point out that these erup-
tions must have set NJ liberty great
quantities of gas or yapOrs. while the
diffusion OF cinders on the lunar sur
face to great distances infers a gaseous
envelope OF 4 certain density
Has the time. they ask. which has
elapsed since the great eruptioEs suf-
feed TO bring about the total disap-
pearance of this gaseous envelope!
Considering that the already solidihed
lunar surface could only have absorb
ed the gases slowly and with difficulty.
they conclude that from their exami-
nation of the lunar surface there are
serious grounds for believing that
there exists at the present time n
residue of atmosphere of which the lie
lection. surrounded as il is with great
difficulties. may yet be realized.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-27
THE PAGES DIFFICULTY.
he Told his Troubles Right Ont at
the wedding.


a good story comes from Atlanta.
but the incident happened several sea
sons ago. The occasion was 4 swell
church wedding. The edifice had been
gIoriously decorated The bride. sur
rounded by a company CT pages. fiow-
er girls and maids OF honor. was slow
II passing down the aisle. while the
prospective bridegroom and his best
man and the officiating clergyman
were taking their places. The church
organ was pealing forth the sounds as
OF joyous wedding bells. Fashionable
people dressed fer the occasion Occu-
pied the seats OF the handsome church.
II SO happened that one Of the pages
had in the rush of business prepara-
tory 10 dressing for the occasion been
turned over 10 the care Of 4 nurse As
be proceeded down the main aisle OF
the church in company with the other
youngsters. who in white satin suits
were doing the honors Of each respec-
tive household. he suddenly espied his
mother seated in enc Of the pews.
At this point the organist began
playing softly as the wedding party
passed 10 the altar. Then. above the
gentle strains of music clear as 4 bird
could be heard the voice of the afore-
said small 10y.
Mamma" he shrilly cried, nurse
put on nay panties wrong side before.
and can't hardly walk"
Of. course the Mortified mamma could
do nothing but blush scarlet. but lifted
q prayer that the young scion would
keep still from that time on. And he
did and received a hearty kiss from
the bride at the close Of the ceremony.
This is a true story and can be youch-
ed for 10y those who attended the we'd
dins.-Galesburg (Ga.) Mail.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-27
MAcREADY ON THE STAGE.
The TrEGedian Was Not n Pleasant
Man to Act with.

The Trrgedian Was Not n Pleasant
Man to- Act with.
Macready was dreadful man TO act
with You had the pleasant sensation
of knowing that you were doing moth
ing that he wanted you to do. though
following strictly his instructions. He
would press you down with his hand
on your head and tell you In an under
tone to stand up. Mr.. Macready was a
terribly nervous actor. Any little
thing which happened unexpectedly ir-
ritated him beyond endurance.
One night AT the Park Macbeth"
was the play. Mrs. Sloman. an old
fashioned actress. dressed Lady Mac
beth In tie manner which prevailed
in her early life. in black velvet. point
lace and pearl beads. In the murder
scene part of his dress caught on the
tassels of her pearl girdle. The string
broke. the beads fell TO the floor softly
with pretty rhythmic sound. distinct
ly heard through the intense silence
OF the scene.
This so exasperated Mr.. Macready
that he was almost frantic. until. with
the final lines OF the scene. Wake.
Duncan with the knocking. oh! Would
thou couldst." he threw Mrs. Sloman
off the stage. with words which hope
were unheard by the public and were
certainly unfit for publication.-"Auto-
biographical Sketches" by Mrs. John
Drew. in Scribner's.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-27

The number of cultured. refined. edu-
Gated people who slip into error In the
use of Il" and me" is large and ap-
pears to be continually growing. Their
trouble lies in their inability to sepa-
rate the first person from the third
where both are referred to. as in the
expression, Tom asked he and | If.
etc.
! heard q very clever man say yes
terday. George said that him and me
were the only two in the store \
lawyer in Pine street. well known as =
man Of unusual ability. gets it wrong
nearly every time by striving hard to
get il right. He IS so afraid that my
client and T. is incorrect that he com
promises on my client and myself" ="
He knows my "client and me" viii not
do.
BY separating the first and second
persons this stumbling block is Instant
ly removed. and even child cannot
err. George said that him and me
were" might fool some people. but
George said that him was" could not
trip any one Neither could George
said that me was" Now. altogether.
George said that he was; George said
that was: therefore George said that
he and were"-N New York Press.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-27

The rrI3lc was tRe most prominent
l.der Of Bowery society. He is slow
of sneech and Lesitatcs. sometimes
nainfulIv. but when lie does speak eF-
e,-v word hits. He does not 90 about,
as IS the manner Of less cultivated
SPEAKERS. but strikes home with few
words. mainly fgurative. Although ne
Is full OF the instructive aversions anu
tastes of man ,if culture. he IS re-
tired prizedghter and spends most OF
his tine in an uncommoniy dir'y IA
loon.
AT a ban which this leader OF Bow
a-v society gave a hard walk took
Mace. in which there were contestants
for a prize. 10 be given 10 him VINO
was the most natural ANY one who
should burlesque the walk Of the Bow
ery tough was TO be exciuded II the
tough walk was to be given. il was 10
be given right.
-You must do It on de level said
the leader Of society. giving preimina-
ry INSTRUCTIONS. You must give US de
real ;'inc. 'Tain't no cake walk dis
hard walk. Walk jest as II you was
walking on dc lane IBOweryl Wild yer
bundle Igirl on yer arm Anybody
kin look tough. but want you to look
as hard as de real ting. de bloke on de
Bowcry. aud no harder."-Atlantic-
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-27
ANCIENT ARITHMETIC.
Examples That Were Used In EEypI
1900 Years Ago.

Examples That Were Used In Egypt
1900 Years Ago.
Probably the Oldest copy book for
home lessons in arithmetic was recent
~ uBearthed in Egypt. The papyrus.
which was found in excellent condi-
ton. dates from the period about 1900
Il. Chat is. about 100 years before
the time Of Moses, or almost 5000
years ago. 1t proves that the Egyp-
tians had a thorough knowledge OF
elementary mathematics almost 10 the
extent OF our own. The papyrus has
q long heading. Direction how 10 at
tain the knowledge of all dark things,
etc. Numerous examples show that
their principal operations with entire
units and fractions We're made by
means Of addition and multiplication.
Subtractioas and divisions were not
known in their present form. but cor
rect results were obtained nevertheless
Equations are also found in the pa
pyruS Among the examples given is
this one: Ten measures Of barley are
to be divided among ten persons in
such manner that each subsequent
person receives one-eighth Of meas
ure less than the one before him. An
other example given is: There are sew
en- men. each one has seven cats. each
cat has eaten seven mice. each mouse
has eaten seven grains of barley. each
grain of barley would. if cultivated.
have yielded seven measures of barley
How much barley has been lost in that
way?
The papyrus also contains calcula-
tions OF area. the calculation Of the
area of 4 circle and its transformation
into a square. and finally calculations
OF the cubic measurements of pyra-
Philadelphia Record
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-27

The guests at my table at the lunch
con were Professors Gneist and Hoff-
man and Won Bunsen. While thus re-
freshing ourselves. both physically and
mentally. Hoffman told the following
story of Faraday. whom he had known
very intimately. They were walking
one day together through the streets of
London. where both were then profess
ors. when Faraday stopped news
boy and bought paper. Hoffman ask
ed him why. with his house supplied
regularly with all the papers he need
ed. he stopped TO buy a paper from
boy In the street Faraday replied. Il
was once n newsboy myself and sold
papers on the street"-John Bigelow's
RecollectiOns In Century
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-27
The DucsImr Stool ENGLAND

1t is interesting TO eOnjure Up a pic
ture OF . ''ducking" as practiced in
England aI the end OF the eighteenth
century.
When the ''ScOld" had been properly
tried and convicted. she was escorted
by crowd OF her neighbors-in fact.
by the whole villase-to the nearest
pOnd-and the greener and Sinner the
pond the better. long plank was
produced, at one end of which was the
"ducking STOOL" and In this the scream
Ing. struggling victim was securely pin
ioned
The chair end Of the plank was then
pushed far over the edge of the pond.
and AT a signal il was tilted deep into
the green ooze until the scold was COM
pletely immersed.
When the dripping, half drowned
woman was raised to the surface
again, to the jeers and laughter Of the
onlOokers, 1t can be imagined that her
tongue wagged to some purpose. After
a second dose she emerged more sub
dued. and after a third or fourth she
was as penitent a woman as the VII
lage contained and was allowed to
proceed home a sadder and wiser v-o.
man-until the next time. - Londca
Tit-Bits.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-27
A City with Two Carriages.

There are only two carriages il town
One belongs TO the archbishop. and the
other carriage is the property of the
government and one OF the perquisites
that pertain 10 the presidential power.
IL is an ordinary landau. imported from
Paris in pieces and put together by To-
cal talent. and a native artist has
painted upon the panels of the doors
a brilliant reproduction OF the coat Of
arms OF the republic. about n foot
square. in the national cOlors-green.
yellow and red. This is greatly ad-
mired by the populace. who see the
carriage only occasionally. on state oc-
casions when IL is drawn by four big
black horses wearing harness heavily
mounted with silver and decorated
with rOsettes. tassels and streamers Of
the national colors.-La Paz (Bolivial
Cor Chicago Record
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-27

This happened to the wife Of 4 well
known merchant who IS rather con
spicuous for his devotion TO the church.
His spouse dressing one Sunday morn
ing. got into a waist that more than
put Joseph's coat in the shade. She
was conscious OF the color scheme. but
decided 10 ask her husbands AID her
fathers opinions before wearing the
garment to church. They agreed. poor
men. that she was delightfully."- dressed
and that the waist could hardly be i.l-
proved upon.
So they went 10 church, the VIE
with secret misgivinss. which. IS the
case turned ont. were well enough
founded. for they were no sooner seat
ed in Grace Episcopal church than the
Rev. Dr. Worthington gave out tie
text. we viii read" the reverend rec
tor said. from the gospel OF st. Mat
thew. the sixteenth chapter and eighth
verse. To what purpose is this
waste?"
The good woman collapsed in her
pew and never raised her head during
the remaining portion Of the service
ClevelaDd Plain Dealer.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-27

Admiral John Byng was the fourth
son OF the Earl Of Toningt0n and serv-
ed in the British navy. rising 20 be
admiral of the red in las. when he
was - years old. In 17JG he was sent
with badly equipped fleet TO relieve
Minorca. threatened by the French
lie reached Minorca after the French
had got there His second in com
mand. Rear Admiral West. drove them
back. while Byng kept his ships out OF
action. In a day or two he sailed to
Gibraltar. leaving Minorca to its fate.
He was tried for treachery and cow
ardice. but acquitted. The court mar
tial convicted him Of not having done
bis best to relieve the island. and IN
der the application OF article l. Of the
British naval code of those days he
was condemned TO be shot. The min
lsters took him as a scapegoar. and he
was shot on the quarter deck OF his
own flagship. the MOnarque. in Ports
mouth harbor on March Il. lT57.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-27
THE OLD TIME eeLLE.
The Busy Modern GfrIhe0d sniiIes
Over Her Trivial interests


An extract from the journal OF 4
yvune lady of fashion" several centu-
ries ago makes one feel quite relieved
that X Is not really a part OF elegant
living nowadays TO keep journals. re-
marks an exchange. Poor little faded
journal. The delicate little hand that
penned those cramped lines maybe.
was given to John Grey" For rO-
mance's sake. let's hope that 1t was.
"a o'clock-Went to walk with the
lady. my mother. in the courtyard.
10 o'clock-Nyent TO dinner; John
Grey. 4 most comely yOufh--but what
is that TO Ines A virtuous maiden
should be entirely under the direction
Of her parents. John are but little and
stole great many tender looks ut me;
said women would never be handsome
In his opinion. who were not good na-
tured. hope my temper Is not intol-
cradle. Rose from the table:
the company all desirous OF walking
In the fields: John Grey would lift me
over every stlle. and twice he squeezed
my hands with vehemence. cannot
say | should have any objections to
John Grey; he plays at prison bars as
well as any Of the country gentlemen
and Is remarkably dutiful to his par
ents. my lord and lady. and never
misses church on Sunday"
A sample of poetry dedicated to "A
young lady" shows what women were
served with in the way OF literature:
And he whose lot is blessed.
As only mans can be.
viii find too sure rest
On earth with thee.
Where all Is bright and fair
And sorry Joys ensomb
Thou'lt be transplanted there
And ever tloom-
o We shades of our ancestressesi
What would you think of the contents
OF some of our library shelves? What
would you think of the rosy checked
girl who would consider such poetry
as you read simply too insipid and stu
pid for any Baltimore Herald.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-27
EGGS BY QUART.
white or Mixed In This Way of Mar
keting Hen Fruit"

white or Mixed In This Way of Mar
keting Hen Fruit"
Give me quart of yolks.'
what are whites worth tOslayT'
"Send me up a gallon of mixed"
Such expressions as these will be IA
miliar terms in grocery stores and
butcher shops in Kansas City before
long. Housewives will make them so.
for eggs win he sold by the pint. quart
and gallon instead Of by the dozen. In
fact. the big confectionery establish
ments of the city buy them by the gal
Ion now. Kitchen economy suggested
the scheme. and local packers imme-
diately took it up.
How often II is that n cook will
break a dozen or more eggs In order 10
get the yolks TO make a cake. The
whites will he thrown away. or vice
versa. Why not make a saving Of the
whites or yolks. as the case may beg
was suggested. The packers pat the
question TO the confectioners. and the
latter saw the point. Now. when a
confectioneT wants to make stuff with
the yOlks he sends TO i packing house
and buys yoIks by the gallon. IL he
wants to use the whites for some
thing. he sends for them. If he wants
to use 10th. he sends and gets a mixed
can. II is predicted that housewives
will soon adopt the same method.
With this new system of handling
''heu fruit" there is absolutely no loss
The eSgshells are even used. They
are ground up aud sold for chicken
feed.-kansas City Times.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-27

The following extraordinary coinci-
dence occurred at Tinwald recently: \
young preacher. who has lately mar
fied. was planned TO take the morning
service. but. by a misreading of the
plan. he miS,Ook his appointment for
an evening one. Consequently the con-
sregation gathered on the Sunday
morning waited in vain for his appear
aEce. Thereupon one of the office bear
eSs of the church present undertook
the service. Totally unaware that the
absent preacher had recently married.
ne electrified and amused his audience
10y announcing rs his text. He has
married wife and therefore he can
tot come."-New Zealand Herald.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-27
an AIrcn From arknnsn..

"When was on the bench" relates
Judge J. J. Du Bose. I'VE were once
making up special jury for murder
trial. The lawyers were examining the
venire. and wasn't paying much at
tentiOn 10 what was going on tilI one
of the lawyers attracted my attention
10y saying;
Your honor. this man is incompe-
tent for jury service. He's a foreign
err
Il looked at the man under examina-
ton and didn't think he looked Ike a
foreigner lie looked anyway. Ike he
was acclimaIed. So I asked hii.:
Have you ever hepa naturalizedy
No. sir he answered.
And you say you're Il foreigner and
not naiuralized: What country are you
native off
Arkansas
We'll everybody in the courtroom
laug.ictl ! told the nan Le could ~.
lie wasa't much OF a foreigner. but
too mitch 10 sit on jury in my cJuri. =
Memphis Scimisar.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-27
An Ancient Coin.

One of the priced curios of the Phila-
delphia mint is coin which is 1000
years old and which was coined At the
ancient mint OF that other Philadelphia
Of the far east mentioned in the Bible
Il is stlll in good condition. and the
inscription is perfectly legible. The
design ON the face of the coin bears a
striking resemblance TO the Goddess
Of Liberty of our own currency. and
underneath is the one word Demos"
which means ''the people" On the
other side is the figure of Diana. with
her bow Grched. and the inscription.
Diana. Friend OF the Philadelphlans."
When this coin was struck Off. Phila-
delphia was the most important city Of
Lydia. The prize was picked up in
Europe by Joseph Mickey. a cele-
hrated Philadelphia violin maker and
numismatist OF high repute. who pre-
sented il to the mint.-Philadelphi
Record.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-27
A Con.Idernte Fnther.

The Impecunious Son-It was rath-
er hard for you, father. not to send me
any money when l was so much in
need of il.
The Thoughtful Father-It was my
desire to send you ample means imme-
diately. but it was such a pleasure to
read your letters asking for remit
tances-so finely worded. you know
that ] could not deny myself the salts
faction of having more and more of
them. Boston Transcript.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-27
TWO BLUFFS THAT WON.
A Pleasant Meeting Between the Ed
ffor and the Reporter.

ifor and the Reporter.
Jack Rogers was n newspaper report
er and broke. He had hung around the
Dubuque newspaper offices for a job
until he had been requested 10 move on
So he decided TO move on to Des
Moines. But how TO get there was the
question. Jack put on his thinking
cap. and the result was that two hours
later he found himself on train and
the conductor standing by his seat
Ticket" said the conductor
.-See here. conductor" said Jack easi-
ly. my names Rogers. and I'm re-
porter on the Des Moines Air Blast
I'm broke and I'm in a hurry TO get
back home with a big scoop. You let
me ride and the ofliee'll dx it up with
you. See:"
Well" said the conductor. Il guess
that'1 do all right. The road feels
friendly toward The Air Blast In
fact. the editor is in the back coach
Come along and III Introduce you. II
he says you're all right. it goes"
JacIs was knocked all in a heap ct
the turn things had taken. but be bad
nothing to 90 but 10 follow the con
ductor They halted in front Of 4 man
in the coach. and the conductor said:
Mr. Smitem. this is Mr.. Rogers. lie
says he's Il reporter on your paper. and
wants the Office 10 pay for his transpor-
tation when be gets to Des MoineS.
How do you do. Mr. Rogersf' said
the editor pleasantly. extending his
hand. Glad TO see you Sit down
here with me-" The conductor didn't
wait for any more. but went of.
"WeIl. this is nice of you" said Jack.
toe astOnished and embarrassed TO talk
straight. "Of course. I'm not on your
paper. but I'm broke aud yarned TO the
conductor, hoping TO get a job and
square IL up later"
"Oh. that's all right. my boy" said
the other Neither am ! on the pa
per. I'm only riding on the editors
pass."-San Francisco Bulletin