Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-08
HOW THE COLONEL GOT CAUGHT.
George w. Birds Experience In Chi
cago-Met Man Who Knew
His Son in Porto Rico.

His son IN Porto Rico.
Colonel George W. Bird, the we'll
known lawyer and Politician, was in
Chicago some time ago on his way to
Porto Rico to witness the marriage of
his son. One afternoon he was standing
on the corner of Clark and Van Buren,
streets, when a stranger, we'll dressed
and respectable, of course. rushed up
and greeted him etfusively. The
story, as told by himself, is thus re-
lated in The Evening Wisconsin,:
''Ah, how are you, colonelP Haven't
forgotten me, l see. You know Ho-
bart and l used to go to school to-
gether in Madison. Just left him in
San Juan two weeks ago and he told
me to hunt you up" The young man
ratified on in manner that left the
colonel in no doubt that he had eu-
ioyed a long acquaintance with his
son, and had parted with him in San
Juan but short time before. "And
by the way" said the stranger, Il
have some pictures that promised to
send your son. Lucky, you can take
them with you for safe-keeping. Come
along to my apartments" And the
ever-obliging colonel was dragged off
to room on South Clark street, even
his environments failing to arouse any
suspicious.
They discovered very cordial
''friendn playing cards in room, but
when Colonel Bird was invited to join
fhn 10
concluded something was wrong aud
started to leave. On his way down
stairs he was met by policeman, who
promptly ">pinched" the colonel and
his new-found friends on the charge
of counterfeiting, and proceeded to
search the trio. Of course he found
queer money in liberal quantities on
the two pals, and then went through
the colonel and relieved him of more
than 500 in bills and silver. He car
ried the colOners money to a window
and examined it carefully, despite the
Wisconsin mans protestations that he
was innocent and had nothing to do
with the place or its occupants. The
cop, after a close questioning and ex-
animation, finally said My dear
sir, | really believe that you are tell
| ing the truth. You don't look like a
con man, and | have discovered that
your money is perfectly good. Now
you must pardon my mistake and take
your money back, but get out of here
at once, for you couldn't explain this
so easily at the Harrison street sta
| ton, you know"
And with profuse apologies the colo
mel was hustled out on the street. He
walked away some blocks. shaking
hands with himself over his happy de-
liverance, and mentally thinking that
even a man of advanced years will
occasionally get into trouble on South
Clark street. He dropped into place
to think it out over an-Apollinaris,
mind you-and showed 81 bill over the
bar. The man ia a white apron eyed
him with contemptuousd istrust. Say,
dat don't go here! See? Youse easy.
OATS the worst piece Nv work OATS
been showed at me for long time.
Where's youse -"
''Flimhammed, by gum!" gasped
the colonel, and he fshed out peck
etful Of the most miserable counter
felt that ever man bit upon.
Representative Stone. of Pennsyl
vania, chairman OF the committee
on coinage, weights and measures
this week presented the committee
| report or the Eill bill recently re
IL Ill
| follows the lines Of the recommends r.
tions of the Indianapolis monetary
conference. It declares for the gol1
standard; provides for the inter,
chsngeabiliby Of all forms Of money;
separation Of the ISSUANCE of notes
from the fiscal branch Of the treas
ury department, and gradual retire
ment OF the greenbacks. The report
says of the bill: 1T seeks ia
strengthen, soliiify, and fortify our
present system rather than TO build
anew. 1ts purpose may be defined
an three words. 80 remove danger, u
or, peril ps bother. the apprehension
OF danger It especially seeks &c
aliay at home and abroad all doubt
as TO the present and permanent
quality OF our money, and to make
and keep the credit of the nation
J above the rench of successful attack
lor well-grounded apprehension. .
This bill can be easily put through
the house, but the leaders have not
yet decided so do 80, and may not
because Of the absolute impossibility
Of getting it or any other financial
bill through the senate as that body
now stands