The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1899-10-08
TRIALS OF FLOORWALKlNG.
EXPERIENCES OF ONE WHO SOUGHT
RKLIEF IN n LOAF At HOME

to Keep = Civil Tongue Under Provooa-
ton. to straiRhten Out People Who Go
Wrong and to Be Buffer Generally.
This noorwalker was smoking short cob pipe
and absorbing beer from tin cup Thore wasn't
any curl 70 his moustache. His hair was tousled
He wore an old cider down bathrobe and a pair
Of disreputable slippers that the aoorwalker's
fox terrier pup had apparently been teething on
The hoorwalker was at home
After long day OF toll and unimpoachable
raiment- said tho hoorwalkor, filing up the tin
cup az ain 1T is soothing TO revert 10 the extreme
OF loanng looscness"
II was suggested that In the general estmar
ton, the hoorwalker's Job ie one grand loaf
Il know It." seid the hoorwalker. "A lot Of
things are twisted in the general estimation"
well, what are tho cArking cares that weigh
down Hoorwalkers and
First and foremost broke in tho hoorwalker,
Juggling at the short cob pipe I've got TO look
pretty. II did not possess the fatal gift Of beauty
l could not be q foorwalker. could be o bank
president or a millionaire ynchtsman, or railroad
director, mine owner, or o chief Of police,
newspaper man. or anything else great and good
but never a hoorwalker. Before slid into tho
ranks Of the noorwa lkors used TO feel like chuck
ing things al hoor-walkor when l saw him
I objected to his pervasive prettnesn l wanted
10 rend him and damage him But since tho
exigencies OF an unfortunate business career,
added 70 the impecunious aftermath OF too Joyous
youth. forced me into the battalion Of naughty
store paraders I am changed We must live
The necessity may not be obvious, but we must
Besides looking pretty, 1t is part Of my Job 10
stand still on occasion and let people throw meta
phoncal rocks at me- l have learned now to
catch EN- In my teeth and cot en- that is to say.
have learned not to talk back When first be-
k.l
posc than To inform the gentlemen shoppers who
characterized me dummy and dub. and q
suf and poppy dreamer, and hasheesh eater
and lovely thing. and the lady shoppers who In
formed mo that didn't know any moro about tho
location OF goods In the establishment where am
employed than their maiden aunts In Mnssachu-
sets Il hadn't any moro rein on myself than TO
tell them that right down the street. ON the next
block. two doors 10 the left there was another in
sttution similar in all essential respects 70 OUR
own. and perhaps a good deal better, where they
could probably be served all right and get any
thing they wanted from bunch Of figs to an at
tachment on the gate receipts. But no morel
1 camo near losing my Job would have lost IL
had not been 80 inetiably naughty and pretty
that
You mean that shoppers In this town talk Al
Precisely That humble-minded old gentle
man Job that We hear much about probably
never held 6oor-walkers Job In o department
store II he had, his finish would have been diff
ferent He would have lasted about twenty min
utes. and then he would have run amuck and
heaved potsherds and Scent bottles OF violet
water and 87-cent plush-mounted clocks at all
hands and been hauled UP before magistrate
and gotten thirty days
"InstancesH Well there was a man walked
in to-day, looking mad He belted the storm
door open-thats how l could tell he was mad
Whenever SEQ a mad-looking man coming In at
the stormdoor. or any other door. l know that
his wife has sent him, and feel for him, for was
not always a ioor-walker. This man had snip
Of cerise ribbon clutched In his hand and he
made for me-
Where do go to get about 800 fathoms Of
this stuff enough to trim o waist that weighs
one-eighth Of pound. hey7 he asked ma breath
ing hard.
Ribbon counter: second floor up, last counter
to the left, said l. and away he went He came
back In about tve minutes still clutching his biz
Of cerse ribbon In his glove He looked madder
than ever.
Say he demanded, walking up to me- how
many ounces OF dope Troy weight, do you shove
into your face In the course Of a morning. I've
been all over the third floor. There's everything
towels and tablecloths and bibs and coal scuttles
and mechanical toys and pirated literature and
fine combs and soap and navy blue rugs and
lunch counters and baby blueeyed girls and all
kinds O. things up on that third deck but I'll ca,
every yard of ribbon you can find up there and dc
magican's turn for the benefit Of the poor -
! Il said the second floor up. you know, saidL
The devil you didl' said he Don't you
spose can hear
WELL you know, said l. you could have asked
some Of tho clerks up there where the ribbon eoun.
ter was and
! Ask EN-? Don't you s'pose I had enough
sense to do THAR i asked ON all, and I've been
everywhere In the building except the boiler room
Before they sent me out into the alley to Larch
mont or South Beach. thought might as well
drop down here and sec you, If only to find ou
how many hop pills a man with plastered hail
and a pink carnation can absorb into his carcass
before II o CLOCK noon and still keep his feet
Where's the ribbon counter?
( Ribbon counter, second floor up, last counter
TO the left, said again. and he ramped toward
the elevator like man rushing for a bookmaker'
He came down about ten minutes later with
apackage in his hand that must have held enough
meyan army OF Amazons He was still chewing
This ism green goods layout is i;' he sale
eye, and showed the girl with amber hair ant
shelly ears my sample. She didn't have tn,
right width in my color. but she had it in water
melon pink, or something like that, and she CAV,
mo the merry Svengali and threw 1t into me tina
my color wash the proper kink. anyhow, anc
here am with enough watermelon pink ribbon
to reach from here to Hades and back, and Y,
got to go home with 1t. at that, like this work
m stuck on my Job Lomme get out o this
And he was out Of the door and gone before tn,
boy who came running downstairs with the chang
| he had left behind could catch him.
| 1T 8 queer proposition. but il 8 a fact that tn,
| people who buy stuff at the establishment tina
pays ue wages and then find out that they haven
bought what they wanted, make it a point TO holc
me personally responsible. They've somehow
or another got it into their heads that am &C
countable for every ten cents worth of goods tina
leaves the building. Now. as a matter OF fac /
! hardly know the difference between a damasl
tablecloth and red counterpane, and neithe
does ono hoorwalker out OF Ave. tOorwalke
doesn't have TO know anything about the goods
sold in the establishment where he Aoorwalks
any more than a trackwalker has TO know abou
the steenth mortgage bonds Of the railroad 70
which he trackwalks. But the fioorwalker ha,
10 stand for the whole thing all the same II,
Is the buffer between the purchasing public anC
the proprletors, and what he doesn have TO tax,
in this capacity ism worth mentioning A
mothery looking old lady with white hair ant
goldrimmed glasses came In the other day. Sh,