The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-02-19

lions pure1-. But precious few of them
are perfect with that perfection that
hides no flaw.
And so, when they get married and
see one another just as they are, with
company manners put away and in the
easy familiarity of home undress, then
is the time that they need TO adjust
themselves the one TO the other-to
compromise their differences in tastes,
in habits and in temperament This is
no easy matter, but the time quickly
comes for ninety and nine of every hun
dred who are married. Some never ef-
feet the compromise and of them we
hear anon in the divorce courts or we
see the evidences of unhappiness with
which they drag out their miserable
lives.
Il do not pretend that all divorces re-
suit from this lack of compromise in
the beginning. Not at all Sometimes
men and sometimes women, as they get
older, develop latent devils which ear
lier slept peacefully and quietly. Then
again, good men and good women have
become bad because of temptations to
which they had never been subjected
in youth, and against which they were
not, therefore, prepared to combat.
Take drunkenness in men, for instance.
That unquestionably wrecks more
homes than any other immortality, for
the very good reason THAI it leads to
pretty nearly all the Others. That is a
weakness the cultivation of which
works as swiftly as the sowing by
Cadmus of the dragons teeth. Yet
drunkenness is a thing that cannot
very well be provided against, nor yet
can it be made a matter of compro-
mise.
Il confess that never had to deal
with it, but l have seen others try, and
1 verify beiieve that the. gentle hand
is always the strongest hand. Now,
gentleness is the very essence Of COM
promise, so even in this home-wreck-
ing matter the spirit of compromise
believe TO be better than the wilful and
maSterful way. L do not insist on 1t,
however, because 1 know not Of it in
my personal life. and only speak of it
as a distressed observer.
THE one curious thing about matr1-
monial compromises is that the less
worthy always give up the least Take
a silly man and a wise woman, and he
is sure to rule the roose- This would
seem in the face of it to argue against
compromise. But such is not at all the
case. A marriage in which there is hap
pinegs is a pure democracy, and all the
parties to it must be cut off bit and
somewhat added to the stature OF the
other. OF course, it is dreadfully sad
that somewhat of the best Should be
sacrificed to the unworthy; it would be
much better the other way. But then
life is not a picnic, or if it is it is a pic
mic on a rainy day. Still we can extract
a lot that is salts actOry out of 1T if we
are more skllful in our antics than the
bull in the china shop. There are in
stances, to be sure, where to effect a
compromise the sacrifices are much too
great to be endured. Then comes sure
unhappiness, unhappiness which it may
be is worse than the pain of making
the sacrifices.
4 know of an instance. Two Young
people were married just after getting
out of their teens. 1t seemed likely
that they would be happy, as both We're
worthy and upright and the husband
had no bad habits and was blessed
with an ample competence. Neither
was particularly cultivated, and so far
as education was concerned, they
were on a par AS they grew older
it was hard for them to get along-the
girl had come from a sprightly race,
the boy from a sedate one She loved /
to sing and dance and be merry; he, |
when his work was done, wanted to !
sleep. She gave up her singing and |
dancing and became as sedate as q |
Quaker. He merely slept after doing |
the work in which she had no share. |
OL the lilliOSSnI SdSNAieo " ]
which she had been accustomed, the |
young woman began to read Having |
a quick mind, the reading opened to |
her new realms, and in these she lived |
a. life in which he could not partici /
pate. In cultivation. she was soon |
miles beyond him. Among their |
friends, when he took a holiday from |
his work and his sleep, she shone like |
a star, while he sat like a bump on a |
log. silent, and when not silent, boorish. |
He sought by little tyrannies and base
cruelties to Cypress the woman who |
was his wife. Well, 1 won't tell you !
any more-the man went to the bad,