West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1899-02-02
GOV. BOB TAYLOR
Writes 4 Highly Entertaining letter
10 "UReh Sam"
And Advises Him To Co slow ON
Manila Ice Cream ARd AgsinaIdo
Psddlng.


The follswlsg letter. which 3arports
20 have been written by Gov. BOB rnv.
lor' o Tennessee, is CLIPPED from the
Youth and age. q paper published in
Nashville and contains some SOUND
senSe.
"Dear One'e Sam AS one Oh yoAf
Homer"VS nephewS. a,u exceedingly
anxious for your wtefarA. You have
Niwats been represented TO mo A. =
very tall and lean old star.spanglcd
gen'i'naM with fac plug hat and
chm Whi>kers very much fear that
VOC sre ccinF too Va, away frorA Aor.e
On yout gnnninP exped0ions. IL is
true the game YOU are after is tempting.
ard nobody doubts your ability To bag
~; but implore you, cid man. TO look
to your hesitA and happiness. You arc
nct As young as you were hundred
years ago, and you have never left
home for sport before. The meaJ un.
der Cuba's wing may be sweet, and no
doubt tina drumstick of Porto Rico
would be delicious; at any rata you
have them in your grasp and seem TO
be preparing for the feast, with the
Philippines for SesserH but | do not
really believe that you ought to indulge
TN Manila leo cream, and am sure that
Aguinaldo padding will sour on your
stomach. All OF these foreign dishes
VIII give you nightmare, as s1re a.
you arc born Why not be content TO
sit down To your own hog and hounlay
and turnip, green's, and canvaSbaclts,
and beef, and venison, and 'possun.
and pnmpkin pie, and political punch ?
am aware that IL is always The
AN bition OF "A lean Man To expand, and
AM persuaded that you are Just "a lit
tie bit envioas of John Bulls colonial
corpuleucy and British preponderoslty.
Ne doubt you are now dreaming of
the day when your luminous striped
vest will enclrcle your refund stomach
liRe the belts of Jupiter and the rings
of Saturn; but let ns re,nind you that
fat men suore aud have Rout and some.
times keel oyer with apoplexy.
Uncle Sam, you are daisy. Two
years ago you were for contraction 10y
large m jority, now you are teariBg
your shirt for expansion. / suppose
that while You are contracting and ex.
pandInP you will take II ootiun after
while 10 stretch yourself to your full
length on tho western hemisphere,
until the mosquitoes shall roost o1
yoar big toe at Cape Horn, while ice
bergs torm on vour whislSers in Alaska.
IL may be all right, and you have
about seventy-five millions of nephews
and nieces who are for you, right or
wrong; but some OF us hope that YOU
won't yet too big Tor your breeches; or.
rather that your breechCs won't get to
small for you. We doA't want you 20
become too gay, and we arc opposed TO
your attending too many banquets.
such as you have been reyeling in yer
since last April We think the Jubilee
Of peace is far better for your liver
than the banquet OF war. But all these
little hints are prompted by love and
yeneration and solicltude for your
good name and your glory / woula
not wound your feelings for box OF
Havanas or a hogshoad of Honolulus:
but ] confess with bushes that there
are about seventy-four millions. nine
hundred and seYcnty-five thousand OF
your kinsfolk who haye good ground
for complaint We see the stars twink.
ling and the eagles tapping their
wings On the shoulders OF your heroes.
we see the girls smothering them with
kisses, and we all sigh for "a eyy smoth-
ers' Our complaint is that We cannot
all wear stars or eagles, and therefore
we cannot have equal blessings TO all
with exclusive privileges 70 none -
Not long ago ! saw the city OF Nash
vile open her arms and press two OF
your heroes TO her bosom One was
Captain Maynard, Of the United states
gun boat Nashville, who fred the Brst
gun Qi the war with Spain; the other
was Lieutenant HObsou. who set an
example OF daring and courage for the
generations 10 follow. II YOU could
have seen the laughing and shouting
boquet OF seven Thousand little school
children who greeted them IN our
great auditorium at high noon; il you
could have heard them sing tho
HHtiDudl H'F7 aui Keep time with way
ing flags you would have agreed with
nie that there is nothing left Of Mason
and DixOn's line. except that 10 is now
oalv the dividing limo between cold
bread and hot biecuits ~ you could
have heard the Storm Of apalapss from
old and Young which greeted them in
the evening", YOU would have waved
your old bandauna in the afr and ioin-
cd the glorious jubilee, II you could
have heard explosions Of the rosy bomb.
shells that burst in kisses on their
cheeks. no doubt you would have rush
ed into the thickeet OF the nght. ~ you
could huve heard our speeches OF vel
comc. you woali have fiintcl as dead
os macsercl from exhaustion
Bat the banquet Gin the wee afna
hours clipped tho climax. We hal
greeted our noble guests with CON
pliments ani speeches and ciappinr Of
hands through the day. but a. tho
banquet we gave them welcome with
smoking quMle and poa oanoeq. and
this, that. and the other; and there
was poppinR ~ corsq. and clforvrscing
and soarklinQ and good time in the
old town that night. We halo re-.
luctant farewell 20 Capitals First shot
and Lieutenant Merrjmac and went
80 bed feeling that see were cftfzov. e,f