davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05
COMMERCIAL WIT.
4 Parcel of Puns That Were Worked
On All Right But They
Didn't Take.

Four travelling men sat on the sidewalk
IN front of the Windsor the other night tell
ing stories. The man who smoked stogies
had just finished a somnambulist tale.
Reminds me of what the piekpocket said
to his fellow-prisoner," commented the man
with the nasal blossom.
what was thatT
81 am here, gentlemen" he said, ''as the
result of moment of abstraction.
The pun fell with a dull, sickening thud.
But the man who smoked stogies came to
the front again.
Like the incendiary, Ell? There is some
similarity. He was there because of his
habit of making light of things
The blossomy man refused to be silent.
"But did you hear about the forger!"
mo. Why?"
HE was there on account of a simple de-
sire to make a name for himself"
The man with the stogie meditated.
THAT reminds me of the burglar" he
casually remarked. There was a three min
ute stage wait and the man who liked apple
jack gave way to curiosity.
why"
GAS ne said, through nothing but taking
advantage of an opening. which offered IN a
large mercantile establishment"
The blossomy man had departed, leaving
a wide, far-reaching void.-St. Paul Globe.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05
The bee. in winter quarters.

Bees should be kept in temperature
ranging from ~ to IS degrees above
zero. and the hives should be dry. The
light should be excluded as much as
possible, and the hives should not be
exposed to sudden changes of tenn
perature. An ample supply of honey
should be left for the support of the
bees during the winter. 1t is not neces-
sary 10 put the hives under cover until
winter approaches, and if the colony
in each hive is not strong, ii win be OF
but little service until it RECEIVERS in the
spring. Too much warmth in winter
is rot conducive to success
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05

angle, so that when set up on the hinc
end of the wagon it will fit the box,
and the esd on the ground is perpen-
dicular. By means of a few portable
panels we can load stock almost any
place where there is fence for one
side. The device can be adjusted to
suit the wagon, unlike one that is sta
tionary. We have scales, and a breed
ing pen for pigs, and it comes handy 1.
unload sows, and at the scales for load
ing fat hogs and sheep. "A. S. Forsman.
in Ohio Farmer.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05
T.; ;;;;;;i[ii;s';Iii:3lIjiz!l5jII!:ijItI5jlzzI|as
lM5 :}snlSDl1S
HANDY GRIT MACHINE.
Where Large F1Ocks OF Poultry Are
Kept One VIII BE Found
Wonderful Convenience.

Tt can be built any size and any lum-
Der will do. The construction of the
machine can be easily studied out from
the illustration. My crusher is made
up as follows: Two supporters, IA,
each four feet six inches long, of AKA
inch lumber resting on board supports,
C, two feet long and six inches high.
Nail on the four cross pieces, b, four
feet long. since 1x4 inches. Make the
two crushing arms. d, each five feet
long and of 4X6 inch lumber. the lower
FIVE inches are leveled off so that the
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05
Home Seekers Excursions via "BiE
Four Route"

To the North, West, Northwest, South
west, South and Southeast. Selling dates:
August 18th, September 5th and 18th; and
on October Sd and 18th, 1899, at one fare,
lowing states: Alabama, Arizona, Arkan
sas, British Columbia, Colorado, Florida,
Georgia, Iowa, Indian Territory, Idaho
Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan,
Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana,
Carolina, North Dakota, Oregon, Okla.
homa, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas,
Utah, Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming
Washington. For full information and par.
ticulars as to rates, routes, tickets, limits,
big Four Route" or address the under.
signed. w. p. Deppe, A. G. p. & T. Agt.,
Warren j. Lynch, Gen. Pass. & Tiki. ACT,
Cincinnati o.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05

A crop of weeds that are nearly ma
tured. but which have not produced
seeds. is one that VIII 32,y if it is
plopSed under. Even weeds can thus
be put to good use if rightly handled,
but the farmer who allows single
weed to produce seed nultiplies his
work in the future. There is no waste
of time in killing weeds. as no work OH
the farm paSs better i. future labor is
considered.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05
LOADING LIVE STOCK.
Device That Is Easy to Handle and
Is Rapidly Adjusted to Suit
Amy Wagon.

The accompanying illustration shows
device for loading hogs and sheep that
are too heavy to lift. The figure repre-
sents one side only. The bottom is
two-inch plank one foot or 16 inches
wide, or as wide as the wagon box, if
you want it, with Stats nailed crosswise
on the bottom to keep the stock from
slipping. The ends are both of the same
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05
WOMEN
AVOID
OPERA TONS

leridanville. Pa. writes: DEAR
had suffered for sew
ars with female troubles and
4 until / was discouraged. / felt
d and tired of living. I had dis
ease of kidneys, bladder trouble.
dropsy and bloating, had womb.
trouble and a large tumor had
formed; in fact all my organs
were out of fix.
.Seeingawoman's letter prais-
ing your remedies, I wrote to-
her and she begged of me to try
it. telling me all that it had done
for her. I bought six bottles of
Lydia E. Pinkharn's Vegetable
Compound and now cannot ex-
press my gratitude to you. The
tumor began to come away in
pieces and ! got better all the
time. / believe now that / am
entirely cured.
my doctors could not believe
it at first. as they all had told me
that my case was a hopeless one,
and no human power could do me
any good. Theywere astounded.-
If I can say anything that can
help other women, ! shall be
glad to"
It is not safe to wait until the
last moment. Head off trouble
Don't be satisfied without Mrs
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05

The trusts" exclaimed the excited in.
olviduai, who, SO to speak, was at the ora
torleal bat, must be frozen Quit"
The trust microbe in the audience slammed
the typhoid fever microbe on the back and
He isn't up with the latest discoveries in
science, 1t said. He doesn't know that we
can stand a temperature of $40 degrees he
low zero!"-Chicago Tribune.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05
Good Horses in Demand.

For good horses there will always BIS
a good price going. for if man caunot
sell them in this country, ne can sell
them in some other country, and the
dealers IN that country are only too
glad TO send their representatives to
the United States to buy them; but it is
only horses of great excellence that
siIeg viii always surely buy, aEd to
raise tkis sort should be the aim OF
every breeder, no matter what sort of
stock he has his money in. For one
really high-class horse there Will al
ways be two buyers.-Rural World.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05
A superfuous Suggestion.

at would lay the world at your feet" he
exclaimed. But she looked at him Jelly anc
returned:
Dolby. Unless the law of gravity has beer
unexpectedly repealed, the earth is thert
already. "-Washington Star.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05
Pills for Hi. Pop~un.

Doetor-Well, my little fellow, you have
got quite well again. / was sure that the pills
I left You would cure you. How did you
take them-in water or in cake?
Little Willie-Oh, / used them in my pop
gun.-St. Louis Republic
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05
Do Your Feet Ache and Burn.

Shake into your shoes Aliens Foot Ease,
a powder for the feet. 1t makes tight or
New Shoes feel Easy. Cures Corns, Bun
ions, Swollen, Smarting, Hot, Callous, Sore,
and Sweating Feet. All Druggists and Shoe
Stores sell it, 25c. Sample sent FREE. Ad-
dress, Allen S. Olmsted, LIE Roy, n. Y.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05

Fresh cut bone for an occasional light
iced is very good indeed, but do not get
tcc 2.1ch excited about it as entering
largely into food for fowls. Don't buy
too heavily of bone meal or gran1lated
bone; you can scare up just as good food
at home.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05
Brilliant.

Cora-These electric lights are so hard OF
the complexion.
Dora-Yes; one can see so well by them
Puck.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05

We think Piso's Cure for Consumption is
the only medlelne for Coughs t ,oo Jennie
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05

When a rich banker signs notes they may
seldom be protested, but it may be different
if he sings them.-Philadelph Record.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05
Inne,a FamiIy Nfedfcine

Moves the bowels each day. In order to
be healthy this is necessary. Acts gently on
the liver and kidneys. Cures sick head
ache. Price % and SOC.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05

There is nothing more discouraging to a
girl than to return home from big town
with new wrinkle in style and find that it
has preceded her.-Atchison Globe
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05

Don't Neglect Cough. Take Some Hale's
Honey of Horehound and Tar instanter
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one minute
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05

SHE very word operation strikes womans
soul
Nearly always these operations become necessary
through neglect.
the very painful frequent excessive
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05

In Luck.-First Dear Girl-'.I have no
friends to speak Of" Second Dear Girl
Lucky friends. Life.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05

get the right advice at once and
stop taking chances. It viii cost
you nothing for advice if You write
to Mrs. Pinkham at Lynn. Mass.
for it. and if you let the trouble
run along it will surely cost You a
great deal of pain and may mean
an operation.
Miss SARAH I. GRAHAM. Sherida-
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-10-05

Laziness travels so slow that poverty soc
overtakes it.-Chicago Daily News.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-04-11
CITY COUNCIL MEETING.
Returns for the City Election Canvassed
by the Aldermen.

Returns for the City Election Canvassed
by the Aldermen.
Great Falls, April 10--As this was the
evening for canvassing the returns of
the late city election there were several
spectators present in the city council
room and they waited patiently until
9 o'clock, when the council came to Or
der, an hour after the official time.
The clerk read several petitions for
sidewalks which were referred to the
standing committee on that subject.
Then the canvassing of the returns be-
gan. The council found that the re-
turns as already published were correct
as declared. The only exception was
taking five votes in the Second ward
from Fitzgerald for mayor.
The ways and means committee rec
commended that the city do it's own
street sprinkling and the cost be divid-
ed between the general taxpayer and
the abutting property, the former to
pay 25 per cent. The committee was
given power to act.
Aldermen Schmitz and Jarl demanded
a report from the public improvements
committee On the extension of the Sixth
street sewer. The chairman, Alderman
Mcdonnell stated the committee would
act as soon as possible, but he could
not say when. A gentle roast resulted,
which was administered by Jarl After
the making of number of suggestions
on minor improvements the council adj
iOurnpd
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-04-11

Springs, Mont, and a niece, Mrs. Her
man Schnick, residing in Helena.
passbook carried in his pocket con-
tanned the names of a dozen parties in
Dawson. An inventory of his property
showed a comb and pocket knife.
Dan" Lombard was very we'll known
in this city and Neihart, having been
among the first settlers in the latter
camp. He was about so years of age
and was one of the original locators of
the Cornucopia mine at Neihart. He
was also interested at one time in
other mining property there. Besides
those above mentioned, he leaves an
other niece and nephew. residing at
White Sulphur Springs. He was also
very well known around the latter
place, where he lived for several years.
and around Townsend He left for
Alaska some time last summer.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-04-11
Mrs. Sarah c. Longmaid.

Great Falls, April 10-Mrs. Sarah c.
Longmaid, who was buried at Lewis
town on Tuesday. was the daughter of
Mr.. and Mrs. Archibald Hopkins of
that town. She was born in Hancock
county, Tenn, April co. 1857; in the
fall of 1868 with her parents she went
to- Kansas; in 1876 she crossed the
plains and located in Idaho: in the
fall of 1882 with her family she came
to Montana, and settled at Cotton
wood, in this county. On Oct. 5. 1885,
she was united in marriage to Charles
Longmaid, they making their original
home on Cottonwood, afterward re-
moving to the western part of the
state. She leaves a husband and two
children, one child of II and one of 8.
When only II years of age Mrs. Long
maid was converted and united with
the Methodist Episcopal church at Cot
tonwood under the pastorate of Rev.
w. w. Van Orsdel. She continued in
church fellowship until the hour of
her DEATH and was a faithful and de-
vout Christian.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-04-11
WAS SHOT FIVE TIMES
Result of a Quarrel About an
Irrigation Ditch.
M'GREW GAVE HIMSELF UP
Albert Davey Is the Name of the Vic
tim - McGrew Asserts That He
Was Forced to Shoot in
Self Defense.
Special Dispatch to the Standard.

Special Dispatch to the Standard.
Havre, April 10.-This afternoon near
Yantic occurred one of the saddest
shooting scrapes that ever took place
in this section of the state. William
McGrew, well known ranchman of
that place, and Albert Davey, also a
stockman and rancher, had an alterca-
ton about an irrigation ditch, the for
mer being abused in shameful man
ner and assaulted by the latter, who
shot Davey five times with a 3S-cal-
iber gun. McGrew has just come to
Havre and has given himself up. He
is cool and collected and says he was
forced to kill Davey to protect his own
life. There was no witnesses but Nc
Crews 7-year-old boy. Both parties
are we'll known here and the affair is
deeply regretted. At last reports Da
vey was still alive, but his condition is
considered precarious.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-04-11
In Police Court.

Great Falls, April 1O-There was a
motley gang before his honor Of the
police court this morning Officers
Sheehy and Hogan together contributed
George Jackson, who had been drunk
and disorderly, according to the slip on
file. He got three days. Officer Bisseit
brought in Jack Mcdonnell and he like
wise got three days for being drunk on
the streets. Officer Anderson came into
the game with another drunk John
Gunnerson. He put up $3.50 for bail.
but as he did not appear this morning
this sum is forfeited to the city. Two
arrests were also made by Officers Bis
sett and Hogan on state offenses and
these We're turned over to the county
Jail. One was John Morrison for petty
larceny and the other man named
Haywood. who is charged with having
tried to beat his board.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-04-11
Never Looked Better.

Great Falls, April 10.-Work at the
Gait mine is moving steadily on. and
the force is kept busy on ore. The
mine in its history never looked better
than it does to-day, says the Neihart
Herald. Every level is being worked
and the ore shipments are regular
From three to four feet of ore is ex-
posed at the $50 and at the 200, and
the quality of the ore is good. At
the meeting last Wednesday evening
the stockholders of that company ex
pressed themselves well pleased with
the condition of the mine.
1t has been decided to let out the
upper Gait workings to leasers and
the mine will be apportioned out to
such as desire to prospect in that place.
There is said to be considerable good
ground in the old works and the ad-
vantages there offered will doubtless
be taken up by the prospectors Of the
camp.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-04-11
Is Taken for a Granger.
From the Chicago Chronicle.


Chicago possesses a man about town
who is constantly being mistaken for
what is known as a ''rube' by crooks
and sharps. Anyone who knows him
would wonder how such an error could
happen. yet it does. This rounder is a
good natured man and hence the fell
lows who essay to play upon him rarely
get into trouble. He is really a keen
hand, although loose and ill-fitting
clothing lend an air of rusticity to his
appearance. This is accumulated by a
habitual manner indicating innocence
and introspection.
He was walking along one of the busy
streets yesterday when he was ap-
preached by a shrewd looking individual
who desired to engage him in conversa
ton. He coyly admitted that he was
broke at the time, when the man said
Ssh" and drew him to one side. Then
the pavement merchant displayed to the
wondering gaze of the roUnder certain
stones called diamonds and besought
him to buy. He bespake him thus:
Say, I'm a thief, see, and l pinched
these sparks. I want to sell 'em and
they go mighty cheap This one is worth
a century and you get it for half. I like
your looks and guess we can FIX UP A
trades
will they fade in the wash?" asked
the man about town. IF they won't
might invest, but the last ones l got
from one of you blokes faded badly.
Now if these will stand soap and water,
why I might put up quarter for that
one"
The self-confessed thief backed
away with a scared look on his face.
He glared at his man intently, all the
time edging away to create moro dis
lance between them. And l took him
fer a rube," he muttered, as ne slid
around an adjacent corner.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-04-11
AT WORK AGAIN.
Part of the Flue at the b. 4 M. Must BE
Rebuilt.

Great Falls, April 1o.-Fires were
built under the furnaces at the Boston
& Montana smelter yesterday, and
part of the men went to work o-day.
When the works closed down about 40
feet of one of the f1ues fell in because
1t was cooled too rapidly. This will
have to be repaired and rebuilt before
the place can be run at full blast but
the repairs are being made as rapidly
as possible, and Mr.. Sanford hopes to
have all Of the machinery running by
Wednesday night. While the latter will
be under the orders of the receiver, it
is said that he has been given fun
charge of the works here, and all of
the old employees will be retained Su-
perintendent G. W. Goodale is assist
ing him to the best of his ability in re-
establishing order in the works, and
apparently everything is running as
smoothly as could be hoped. No ap-
pointment could have been made more
satisfactory to the people of Great
Falls and to the smeter workmen than
that of James r Stanford, and he will
have the hearty cooperation of every
employee.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-04-11
THIS WAITER A MIND READER.
Receiving an Unqualified Order for Pie,
He Brings the Right Kind.


He Brings the Right Kind.
From the New York Tribune.
Expansion is the main topic Of con-
versation among statesmen at the cap
ital and many of the solons become as
excited in discussing it as do members
of college debating societies. Just be-
fore the adjournment for the holidays
three distinguished senators We're seat
ed about a small table in the senate
restaurant discussing expansion, to-
gether with their oysters and a cold
bottle. When the host of the. occasion,
who was really "a looker-onf in Wen
ma" enjoying the debate between his
fellow colleagues, called for the check
he was Interrupted by an anti-eXpan-
sionist from New England. who said:
mo, no! Don't pay the check yet. I
want some pie
This request having been made, he
excitedly continued his remarks. The
waiter was called.
Pie" said the host pie for Sem
ator -
What kind of pie, senator?" aske l
the waiter obsequiously.
The senator paid no attention, but
continued his stream of eloquence.
Il beg your pardon. senator. but what
do you want?' asked the waiter again.
pie. pie, pie!" roared the senator,
grudgingly interrupting his remarks.
Yes, senator" said the waiter, but
what kind of pie?'
Gold pie" said the senator in a fe-
rocious voice. Gold pie!'
The waiter disappeared and the SEN
ator continued his argument against
the retention of the American con-
quests. He ceased, however, long
enough to dispose of a thick piece of
that pie dear to the hearts of all New
Englanders, cold pumpkin. which the
waiter, who should be commended for
his knowledge of human nature,
brought to HIM.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-04-11
Rheumatism Cured.

My wife has used Chamberlains Pain
Balm for rheumatism with great relief,
and I can recommend it as a splendid
liniment for rheumatism and other
household use for which we have found
it valuable.-W. ]. Cuyler, Red Creek,
N. Y.
Mr.. Cuyler is one of the leading mer-
chants of this village and one of the
most prominent men in this vicinity
w. G. Phippin, Editor Red Creek Her.
aid. For sale by druggists.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-04-11
Died in Alaska.

Great Falls, April 1o.-Recent press
dispatches announces the death at Skag-
way, Alaska. of l.. H. Lombard, better
known as Dan Lombard. From letters
found on the dead mans person, it was
learned that he has a sister, Mrs. Ella
Chaplin, residing at White Sulphur
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-04-11
Went to Helena.

Great Falls, April 10.-State Senator
George II. Stanton went to Helena this
morning to act as marshal for the Order
of Elks, which attends the funeral OF
Lieut.. Eugene S. French this after
noon. Owing to the washout at Clancy
the east bound train on the Great
Northern, due here at $3.50 a. m, did not
arrive, until after IL o'clock this fore
noon.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-04-11
69c
Ladies' Underwear

Ladies' Lisie Vests
Low neck and short sleeves, in pink,
blue and white; value soc each at.
l2ct
Silk Plated Vests
} Very fine grade, low neck and short
sleeves. all shades; value IS cents
Fine Silk Vests
Low neck and short sleeves, Lace
trimmed, shades pink. blue. black
and white; value S1.75 each, at, * mn
Heavy Ribbed Underwear
Vest cut high neck and long sleeves,
drawers finished with Sateen; value
40c each at. CSC
Ladies' Union Suits
OF fine Lisle Thread, knee length, low
neck and short sleeves, Ecru only:
value $1.00 suit, NSc'
ChiIdren's Ribbed Waists
OF heavy Ecru Cotton, all sizes, well
made; value SOC each, at........lSc
! Ladies' bingham Bonnets
OF fast colored material, in blue and
brown checks, friled edge, value S5c
, each: at ..................... .2SC
ChiIdrer's Bingham Bonnets
In blue and brown checks, braided and
scalloped edges; value 35c each, at.
zoe
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-04-11

Pay your subscription to the Ana
conda Standard for one year in advance
and secure the handsome premium,
paris of To-Day"
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-04-11

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All drug.
gists refund the money if it fails to cure. 25c.
The genuine has L. b. @. on each tablet.