Evening star., 1899-11-11
THEY TURNED THE TABLES

OF the group of three young women who
sat In the first row in the orchestra circle,
| one had seen the play earlier in the week
1t was impossible to doubt that 1t was
| equally certain that neither of her COM
panions had seen the play earlier in the
| week Likewise, the fact was manifest that
| the young woman who had seen the play
| earlier in the week felt entirely convinced
, that none of the people in the seats to the
| right, or the left. or before or behind her
mad seen the play earlier in the week. that
she felt sorry for them. in consequence
| and that she regarded il as moral obliga-
| ton resting upon her to tell them all about
| H. doubtless, it seemed to her that their
| enjoyment of all that was to follow would
De vastly enhanced by foreknowledge on
| thelr part of what was going to occur on
| the stage. She exhibited Il similar spirit of
| klndliness with reference to the PERFORM
| ance of the overture by the orchestra, for
| probably feeling that none of the persons
around her had ever hearkened unto the
| strains of that particular overture before.
! and with desire, no doubt, to assist them
| TO n proper appI eciation thereof, she hum
| med the overture from the first bar to the
! last. Then, during the momentary wait be-
| tween the end of the overture and the rise
| OF the curtain, she delivered herself of the
! following little introduction to the play for
| the instruction of those all around her in
| an mslst@nt whisper as pervading as the
| chug OF cold vapor in a water pipe:
Now, Aggie and Mag, the first act is les
| Ike a pree-face in a book, and it's hardly
nee sary to see it at all, honest Course
| they have to talk a lot, 'yknow, Mag, vile
| the folks that comes late gets into their
! seats Well-lemme see, how does it be
gln-well, the fellah that af' wards marries
| the girl, y'kncw, he comes in-no, he
| doeSn t-yeS, he doeS-nO, now | remember;
| its the villain-and he's got a morgidge on
| her pa proputty-and so he's tryin' to hold
| that over her head sos she'll jes' have 20
| marry him, see? Then the good felIah. he
n. he ha vii lain
| there. a-tryin' to make the old man-her
| pa, you know-name the day when he can
| marry his daughter-the villain, yum
| derstan'?-my, there's such a stew, and
| then the good felah-hes got the scrump-
| uousest hair, jes' little gray at the tenn
pes and sides. yknow, like his life's been
| sad, yknow, Mag-and then he
| The young womans introduction was just
| about in this lucid state when the curtain
| went up. The people all around the young
! woman who had seen the play earlier in
| the week We're gazing with some little aux-
! iety at her. Perhaps the fear preyed upon
| them that she intended to keep her running
| commentary on the go until the fall of the
| curtain on the final act. If that was their
| fear it soon appeared that it was justifiable
| The curtain had no sooner gone up than
| the young woman who had witnessed the
| performance earlier in the week leaned
| over to her two companions and began
| hoarse buzzing something like this:
| Now, Mag and Ag. jes' wait till you see
! that good fellah, and YOU can tell me if l
wasn't right in sayin he was the han
| soonest ching. But 1 don't think the leadin'
| lady's so purity. She looks aWfly stuck-Gp
| TO me. Wait til you see her. She wears
| some nice dresses. but, homes. don't think
her ifgger's enu-Wine-looks skinny to me
that Is, s II she might be skinny on the
| street y'know. Mag. L think such an han
| some-lookin' man as plays the leadin part
| -jes wait til you see him, Ag and Mag,
| that's al-Ought to have real purity lead
| in lady to play with him, don't you, Mag?
| Now, you'll him come out in jes
| mint. and then if you don't say he's the
| han sOmeSt-"
| Thus on, agonizingly, throughout the en-
| tire act, until the curtain rolled down with
a thump The ladies and gentlemen sitting
| within a radius of ten feet of the young
| woman who had been to the play earlier in
| the week looked Sadder and sadder as the
| hoarse whisper continued, increasing in
| volume, apparently. all the time, and d
| number of the ladies to the right of the
| phiianthrOpic young woman who wanted
| them to know all about it, not evidently ap-
| preciating her kindly motives. sutfi-
| ciently ungrateful to "Sh-sh-sh," when the
scene on the stage was of a quiet nature.
| The young woman who had seen the per-
! formance earlier in the week paid no at
| tenuon to these little Kisses, however. but
| Went right ahead with her commentary
| until the close of the act.
| 1t happened that two quiet-looking young
| men, not apparently acquainted, but simply
| seat mates. sat directly in the rear of the
| young woman who had Ag and Mag for
companions. They looked much bored dur
| ing the beginning of the young woman's
| audible foot notes to the progress of the
| play, then perturbed, and, finally, real hot
| under the collar. But they said nothing
| They didn't even "Sh-sh!" They went out
when the curtain had fallen on the first
| act. Just before the rise of the curtain the
| taller of the two young men leaned over to
! the other with twinkle in his eye, and, IN
| close imitation of the whisper of the
young woman who had seen the play earlier
! In the week, he began:
| Hey, Bill. this act is the beaut and the
| bird OF the show. It's a Jim-Hckey and a
kitty mitch. The butler of the old mans
| shack starts the ball rolling. He comes into
| the dining room-swell set you know, Bill,
| with real dishes and real grub in EN-
| with bout half a skate on, and he walks
over to where the demij johns sit on the side
| board and he throws about seven hooters,
| one after the other, into his face; gets
| googly-eyed right there, and what he does
| to that furniture is plenty. 1t seems the
old man has made him sore about some
| thing or other, and
The people in all the surrounding seats
| We're onto the little play of the young
| man at once, and there some smoth-
| cred tittering. The young woman who had
| seen the play earlier in the week looked
! around contemptuously at the two young
| men, but they didn't appear to know that
| she was in the theater
| what gets the old guy sore?" asks the
| shorter of the young men in tone of in
| terest.
I pass" hoarsely whispered his COM
panion. but l guess the buffers got the
| bulge, some way or other, on his nobs, and
| he just jumps in to work his edge. Well
| he rares and tears around there something
| fierce. and then, by jng, a Kaffir low COM
| edian prances in just when the buffers
| kicking things over and this Kaffir's got
| a knotted war club about four foot long
| with him, and he begins to paste the but
| Ter all over the room. Just then the goody-
| gOOdy guy with the cheap flour around the
| hair on the sides of his head wa,tzes along,
| and he tries TO work the high and naughty
| dodge the kaftir low comedian, and he
| gets war-clubbed to beat the band himself
| honest. \ just when it's the deuces own
| hand-to-nand struggle between the Kafir
| and the butler and the goody-goOdy gezabo,
| VIII the girl, she comes yelling in, and
| she begins to throw cold water out of the
| ice pitcher on the whole mixed-up bunch
| While she's doing this her old man breaks
| in through the open FIREPLACE suppose
| he's been UP cleaning the chimney-and
| when he sees his daughter tanning the
| goody goody guy he says: Silly maiden,
! how darest thou pet that dogs -goned, mealy-
| mOuthed young"
Just then the curtain went up on the
! second act. The young woman who had
| seen the pay earlier in the week looked
| around at the young men with crushing