Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1899-10-12
.DE MITES o. PIT las"
The stoay of Damon and His Devoted
Friend.


Two boys of the Chimmie Fadden
order stood in front of the Register
office watching the Pythian parade yes
terday, when the smaller said to the
larger one:
why is it dey call dem de Mites O
Pitias?'
"Cause dey's named after Damon
an Pitias; didn't you hear bout dem?"
Nav" said the little chap; 81 didn't
hear nottin' bout EN-; what did dey
do?"
Den I'll tell you." said the bigger
boy, "Dere wuz two kids; one wuz
named Damon and de odder wuz named
Pit'ias. Dey allus went swimmin' to-
gedder an swiped watermellons toged-
der, an when one got a stone bruise
on his foot de odder one got one, too.
After dey groWed up dey wuz still
chummy, and dey alius stopped at de
same hotel and slep in de same bed.
After while Damon got 'lected Senator,
and Pit'ias he went in de army and
wuz captain
"Oh, yes" said the smaller chap, "a
cap'tin in de Filipeanuts islands"
Nav" said the larger boy with dis
gust; "dey didn't know nuttin' about
de Filipeanut islands den. While
Pit'ias wuz way fightin', a sloppy lob
ster named Di'nishus de Tyrant o Sary-
cuse got control O. de country and wuz
made de Acknowledgement. Dis Dr.
nishus had it in fer Damon and he said,
Damon, you are raisin' too much trou-
BILE round here to suit my 'ministra-
ton. I'm goin' to chop your block
off, Course Damon didn't like it; but
what could he do? Dinishus was de
boss, and what he said went.
"'Well, den,' said Damon, let me go
out home and bid my wife and kid good
bye first No. sir said Dinishus; you
can't work no racket like dat; you will
get gone, den I'll never see you any
more, besides de executioner is grindin'
his ak now. Damon begged hard, but
it was no CO. Pitias, de soldier, wuz a
standin' by an heard all dis and he
ups and says: See, here, Dinishus, you
let Damon go out in de country to see
de folks and if he don't come back you
kin chop my block off, DO you mean
it?' said U1nishus. Course l does said
Pit'ias. Dinishus told Damon to go
and see his folks and get back by 5
o'clock sharp, for dat was de time de
chopin was goin' to take place. Den
he turns to de p'liceman and said:
Take Pit'ias up to headquarters. but
YOU needn't lock him up. Pit'ias is a
honest man and brave soldier, even If
7 don't like him, and his word goes in
III me-
him stay in de lieutenant's room till
Damon comes back and let him set IN
de cushion chair If he wants to-
Damon jumped on his boss and
rode home furder den Elm Grove. and
den bid his wife and family good bye
and his wife hung on his neck and
cried and den suddenly Damon pulled
out his watch an it was four O'Clock.
He had to git back and he hoilers,
"Lucullus bring fort my trusty boss,
, but den Lucullus had killed ole boss
so dat Damon couldn't get back, and he
saws ITO save your life | slew de
steed.p Dat made Damon hot. Ii l
list had de time I'd jis battle you to a
finish. but / must go. he said, for de
head of Pitias is ON de block in Car
tage. Here goes, he said for de swift
est race dat ever come down de pike.
Den he started to hot foot it in 70
Carthage.
Little before 5 o'clock old Dinishus
saws to Pitias, Cit ready to have yer
head chopped off-dats what you git for
standin' in wild a bunco steerer and
ats what dat Damon is. You know
Dinishus had it in for Damon hard.
AlI right said Pytias, I'm ready, but
/ I don't blame Damon, and if / had
annudder life TO spare I'd do de same
ting over again for him,-sumpins
happened or de old boy would be here.
But de time wuz bout up so he gits
readv-still no Damon. De execution
er hould up de ak. Den Fitias but his
head on de chopin block, old Dinishus
pulIed out his watch and said, when l
count tree. chop. One said old Dr.
nishus. Den he said, two Hold,
stop, you're going TO chop of de wrong
mans headi' and dey all looked and
| dere was Damon. covered wild dust and
sweatin' and pantin' like son-of a
gun. We'll, I'll be cursed says DIM
shus. iii dis don't take de cake Den
he said 'bote Of you is free, understand,
no head cnoppln to-day Old DtHiSAas
fought dat when one man would be
wiliin' to die for annudder dey was too
nice people TO kill off. so dats &c end
Of de story.
$50 dats de way ii wuz?" said the
smaller boy.
Oats de way. said the other. IF
Won don't believe 1t ask Ed. Auhn or
Tom Faris or Buck Windsor