The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1899-08-27
THIEVES SENSE OF HONOR.
rHr COLONEL, sMITHRRs AND JAKE
DIsCUsS 1T IN THE "ORSPITIJ."

r, had been one OF the doctors cleaning out"
..vs ana he had remorselessly sent down from
tbe hospital-generally called the orspitaP'-
.ns na,ient after another. who II not cured at
Last ought to be. In all good reason. until
tbsre only remained the old colonel and
Nmithers the con man. to receive the moro or
I.ss perfunctory care Of Jake. the hospital
st.unrd As was natural. in such a season OF
relaxation, the latter functonary was busled
IN bia little side room. making list OF the
h.neyolent ladies' OF the town who had lately
managed m usical entertainment in the prison
chapel with the view Of calling their attention
N a worthy case on the very first day OF his
ib.r,tiop. The old colonel had just finished q
latter to his lawyer. giving the one thousand
and first statement OF his case aad was now
pl..surably pioturng the zeal with which the
latter. thus fortified. would take special train
N Wnshiugton and procure from the President.
"a. matter OF right. his long delayed pardon.
bmithers. all curled up in rocking chair In q
corner was laboriously reading.
It was Smithers. who finally broke the silence
nv tossing aside his book. with the following
eaustio criticism:
"Dod rot that ere French author. Gabboroo,
lay" he exclaimed; why can't he be nate
raj and tell the trurt There amt no sech de-
tecatives as old man Leacock. and there never
vas ono. Say. Kunnel. do you know who does
oil tne uuo WIN ia SeSS ~~S>fS N'>''A< >~
salary2"
"Ipresume the high officials plan. and the
rink and file execute" replied the Colonel
IT'S the untortunit accused who gives his
self away, nine times out OF ten. and when he
don't his pals perform that little Formally for
him. Amt that So Jake?"
You re shoutin." agreed Jake. coming out
from his retreat, the only honor among
thieves ever heerd OF has got a dis in front
gift"
You sec, Kunnel. it's this way" smithers
continued" like hooks to like the world over.
gneaks. blu nco- steers. showers Of tho queer. con
mon. second story men, safe crackers, all have
iints whore they can meet their friends. est a.
you used to 60 to the Windsor evenings. to put
up Jobs with the bankers. Well. then. supposin'
the perlce want to git on to some particular
plant. They don't dodge around In sugar.
loaf hat and a false moustache, not for cent.
They don't have to. They Jest send for some
old lag. who isn't lookin' for trouble. against
whom they have an indictment. OF an tnforrna-
ton up their sleeve-he may have turned re-
spictabe and be keepin' the place hisself-and
they saw says they. Jack. who'd we better
pinch for sech and sech lob p and II he DON'T
know. he'll do big stunts to find out"
That's right. Colonel" agreed tho unctious
Jake; protection Is the secret OF success In
our business. II man can stand In with tho
police he needn't fear competition or over
production. I was In place. over on the East
side onoe. when In came lag We called
Benny. with q fat poke he'd just COPIED over
on the avenue Say. there was q roll that
would mako Rothschilds feel easy. and q LOT
of valuable peppers. WE'LL Benny was nat
uraiiy soft and as the gang had been playing
10 hard luck and were poorer than Hester
street chicken. be stripped of the long Greons
generously. besides hitting the ball for the
best the house afforded.
We'll. pretty soon one after another OF tho
boys went out for a light or to say word to q
friend and didn't come back. Finally Benny
looked around. and me and him was all that
was left. 'How's this. Jake p says he; I didn't
s'pose you could pull them suckers of with q
chain and yoke OF oxen I atm on the clair
voyant graft Jest now answered: but II that
entire push amt separately bound for Null
berry street. via elevator. trolley and private
conveyance. I've got hayseed whiskers and me
name 10 JOSH. You're right. Jake says he
you're the only true friend have left. Here,
take these. I've got no use FOR them. and forc-
Ing all them valuable papers upon mo he went
of crying drunk to his room"
we'll, what did you dor" asked Smithers the
con man.
"Oh, I went out and telephoned." replied
Jake. the hospital steward.
There's friendship for you. Colonel" said
Smithers You can fggur for yourself what
old acquaintance means. that is, II you can
take the square root OF nothn' It's dog ca,
dog every time. Why even In here there would
be no discipline II there wasn't no peachn'
Don't you s'pose a thousand men could get
away II they'd pull toaether2 But Jest you 81,
up plot, and you'll see them tumbing ovel
themselves to git to the old mans ear fust. Dc
you s'pose the man that's Gon' out next weeh
10 goin' TO take any chances OF losin' his good
time for the boke that COOS out next year
He'd sell his mother. Kunnel. to have tho price
Of an extry drink in his clothes"
And skin games" Jake broke in enthu.
siastoally. why II the mon would stay 6ert
voluntarily. they'd have to be locked up fo
their own protection. Didn't they catch thu
tinker making tin quarter only last week
Didn't Country Nose. when he went out tn,
other day. sell his things to three diflersn
men and then take them along with him2 AnC
Donald, tho shoemaker. did you never heal
about him time before lastr He's always
tradin' and dickerin'. you know. Well. he wa
so blasted poor that he didn't have even bal
cent to start with as capital. So what did h
do but circulate through a friend the story tina
Just before he was pnched he bure'
lot OF the queer underneath
certain stone in st. Paul's graveyard
And every man that was goin' out fairly thre'
all their possessions at him for hint as to tn
exact location. Say. he had more old chairs
shoes. tobacco. razzors. pocket-Enives. ohm
neys. sasspans. suspenders. handkerchief
carved boxes. ships In bottles. readun' matter
0Gtry blankets. canned meats. lamp wioks an
tame rats than he could trade off In a four
speaker. guess the dead must hev' though
tho resurrection was nigh durin' the next fey
weeks for there weren't a gravestun' that tn
shoemaker didn't name as a straight tip"
who was the friend. Jake. that did the cir
cuating 2" asked Smithers
Il got Just twenty-five per cent. OF the swa
for that bit of gratutous advertisement" re
Piled Jake
Shocking" exclaimed the old Coone
"hoW can even an honest man escape sue
universal contamination"
You'll have to give it up. Kunnel," sal
smithers: IT don't see no one around here en-
titled to answer that conundrum. But thu
reminds me OF an honest man who threw u
his two dukes over the same sitooation. Fl
was burly young butcher. he was. pros'pro
lost married. and as inncrcent as sprIn