davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06
What He oucned On.

Brothers and sisters, began the old
parson, sI shall not choose any particu-
lar text this morning. bat shall preach
from where open the book. and, no
matter where, shall find the wrath
that is to come upon the wicked. who
will be cut off when they have shufded
off this mortal coil It Is now open.
and
Here the parson was interrupted by a
deacon who had been asleep, anj hear
ing the words open, cut and shuttle. for
got himself and cried out. '.Tt's yours: !:
what did you open on"
The surprise of the good man in the
pulpit was great. but the deacon col
lapsed when the reply came, 1T is open
ed on Kings. Atlanta Constitution.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06
aGoing out to See a Man,"

"Going out to see man" was the
invention of Artemus Ward. One night
in the winter of 1866, when the humor-
list was about half through his lecture,
he paralyzed his audience with the an
nouncement that they would have to
take recess of Is minutes so as to en-
able him to go across the street to "see
a man." Il. R. Tracey, the editor Of
the Washington Republican, was in the
audience. and, seeing an opportunity to
improve upon the joke, penciled these
lines and sent them to the platform
"Dear Artemus-If you will place
yourself under my guidance, I'll take
you to see man without crossing the
street I"
Artemus accepted the invitation, and
while the great audience impatiently
but with much amusement awaited the
temperance of the humorist the lat
ter was making the acquaintance of
Aman, a well known restaur keeper
at that time, and luxuriating at well
laden refreshment board OF course
everybody "caught on to- the phrase,
and men became fond Of getting mp be-
tween the acts and ''going out to see
Aman. The restaurateur's business
from that time forward doomed. Men
who would ordinarily sit quietly
through an entertainment and behave
themselves allowed themselves to be in
fuenced by the contagion. Louisville
Courier-Journal
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06
Well Answered.

In the early part Of this century there
lived in Nantucket young Quakeress
whose wit caused many ripple in the
demure circle of the Friends
When this pretty Martha attended
yearly meeting in Newport at the age
Of 18, her youthful spirits brought her
occasional grave looks from the elders,
although her real goodness of heart was
never questioned.
One evening. during the session Of
yearly meeting, Martha was the center
of a group of young people gathered
near the windows Of the parlor in the
boarding house where some CT the
Friends lodged for the time. The young
people were playing the simple and
amusing game of humorous defni-
tions. Martha's wit caused such fre-
quent laughter that solemn faced per
son rose from his seat at the other end
Of the room and asked, in loud, stern
voice:
Martha, can thee give me the def
milton of gravityf"
The pretty Quakeress colored at this
public and unnecessary rebuke, hut
after scarcely perceptible hesitation.
she answered demurely:
81 am not able to give thee defini-
tion Of my own, Friend Brown, but
perhaps that of De la Rochefoucauld
will suit thee. He says that gravity is
a mysterious carriage of the body, in
vented to cover the defects of the
mind. Youths Companion.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06
rhone Modest japanese!

Here is matrimonial advertisement
that is hard to take seriously A lady
who calls herself Hosuijoshi seeks a
husband in the Kanazawa Shimbun, a
japanese paper. She describes herself
thus:
II am beautiful woman, with
cloudlike hair. fowery face. willowlike
waist, and crescent eyebrows have
enough property to walk through life
hand in hand gazing at flowers in the
day and the moon at night If there is
a gentleman who is clever. learned,
handsome and Of good taste. will join
with him for life and share the pleasure
Of being buried in the same grave. "
To this an answer comes from a gen.
tleman who signs himself Ariwara Nit
sunji whose advertisement runs as fol-
lows.
II am the greatest genius Of the
present time, and people regard me as
the handsomest man in Kanazawa. If
the lady sees me but once, she will be
unable to restrain her love for me.
will fix any place and time for our meet
ing =
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06
The Elder Get t!.c Bcst one.

An account of the life Ut .fy5.lge James
B. Btadweli of Chicago u his daugh-
ter tells a stery of tie deeply religious
training Of his cilildhooi. lie had the
old fashioned faith III the efficacy OF
prayer before be was OF saiicient age
to understand the reasonable limits of
such petitions.
Once. when James was only 3 years
old, the wagon was scnt t. Chicago for
provisions. Five days elapsed. The
wagon was detained, and the Bradwell
family was without food and without
a man to provide it. Little JAMES, as
usual with even small boys Of the time
and place, was good His mother
loaded the gun for him. and he started
out to see what be could shoot to sup
ply the table.
In due time he saw two prairie chick
ems not far away. He got his gun ready
and then took long enough to pray
thus:
20 Father, If you will just let me
bring down those two chickens I'll give
your minister the choice of the pair II
The trigger was pulled and down
came the two prairie chickens James
believed the shot to be direct answer
to his prayer. He took the two birds to
Elder Snow, the minister. and told him
of the circumstances.
The good elder took long time to
examine the two chickens, in order to
be quite sure that he got the better Of
the two, because. he said, be thought
it best that the boys compact should
be faithfully carried out.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06
A Good Scotch story.

In Lanarkshire there lived sma'.
sma' laird named Hamilton. who was
noted for his eccentricity. On one occa-
sion neighbor waited on him and re-
quested his name as an accommodation
to bit bill for $40, at three months
date. which led to the following char
acteristic and truly Scottish colloquy
INA, ma. Gamma do that.
"What for no, lairdf Ye hae dune the
same thing for ithers.
AYE, aye. Tarnmas, bat there s
wheels within wheels ye ken naething
about. Gamma dot.
''It's sma' affair to refuse me.
laird "
"Weel. ye see, Tammas. if | was to
pit my name tell't. ye wad get the siller
frae the bank. and when the time came
round ye wadna be ready and | wud
hae to pay't Sac then ye and wad
quarrel Sac we mae just as weel quar-
rel the no az lang's the siller's in ma
pouch STRAY Stories.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06
THE FINGER TIPS.
Their Remarkable Value In the Iden-
tification of Criminals.

Their Remarkably Value In the Iden-
tification of Criminals.
In detective novels finger prints left
by criminals, preferably in blood, play
an important part, but truth seems
stranger than fiction in the fact that
the finger print system Of identifying
criminals in India has been made 50
perfect that it would enable any intelli-
gent person in few minutes to distin-
gish the individual, if necessary, from
all other persons now living in the
world, or, if data were available, from
all other persons who have lived since
the creation of man.
The system is simplicity itself, and
there is none Of the elaboration of proc
ess or the costly and delicate machinery
required for the anthropometric system.
All that is needed is piece of tin, a
sheet of paper and some printers ink.
The linked impressions of the ten digits
are taken and filed in the proper COM
partment of the proper pigeonhole, and
it is on the classification of records and
their distribution into the pigeonholes
that the success of the system depends
Every finger mark shows lines of the
"loop," or the twhorl" type, and by a
simple table Of the combinations Of
these types in the ten digits 1904 main
classes are made These are again sub
divided according to minor details, and
the subdivisions can be further divided
ad ininitum if necessary, but with the
table before him any person of ordinary
intelligence can place his finger on the
corresponding card to a record in his
hand within five minutes, no matter
how many thousand cards there may be.
It is calculated that the chances are
about "a. 900. 900 to against any two
persons having single fingers identical,
and the chances against all ten fingers
being identical go beyond mathematics
altogether.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06
MIDDLETowN. DEL, MAY 6. 1899
KALAMAZOO.


Have you heard the pretty legend, sad and
mournful and yet true,
OF the brave and dusky lover and the Indian
maid MahZoo2
How they lived and loved and wandered on
the rivers shady shore,
Happiest of Indian lovers in the days that are
no more?
All day long the maiden labored, weaving
baskets by the stream,
Thinking Of her love, her Kahla, weaving him
into her DREAM
Then he comes-she hears the rowing of his
light birch bark canoe.
"Kahlai" calls she. Cries he, "Coming, com
ing to my own Mahzooi"
All, one night she waits in silencei Sad her
face-her love is deadi
Wounded In the chase her warrior in q fort
night to be wed.
In the morn they find sweet Mahzoo lying
silent in the stream,
Gone unto her lover Kahla, nevermore to
watch and dream.
Still the echoes Ger the river may be heard
soft through the air
Echoes of the warrior Kahla and OF young
Mahzoo the fair.
All the trees repeat the whisper, all the rip
pies murmur, too,
In the stream that bears their name now
bears the name kalamazoo.
Kalamazoo Telegraph.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06
TO FIRST VOTERS.

There is a constitutional pro.
vision which will become opera
tive before the next general cleo
ton is held, Of which the general
public maynot be aware, although
it has been published in connec-
ton with the Constitutional Con
vention. It is an educational
test. It is "that no person who
becomes Of ago or who is natura-
lied after January 1st, 1900, shall
be permitted to vote who shall
not be able to read the Constitu-
tion in English, and be capable of
writing his name.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06
Brusque Brahms.

A young Hungarian violinist, who
was continually talking about his won
derful skill and great fame, had his
batteries addressed to Brahms cut short
with the brusque remark. more finger
exercise and fewer phrases. young
mani
A young woman who played the pi-
anoforte asked the composer as to the
advisability Of giving a concert in
Vienna.
Are you all readyH' inquired
Brahms.
Certainly, dear master May play
something for you r
"Oh. no. mol meant only have you
a new gown and gloves2"
''Yes. sir. -
PITY; otherwise ! should have ad-
vised ycu not to give the concert. j"
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06
Two Little Stories.

Here are two stories from Sir nj. E.
Grant-Duff's diary. The first records
the saying Of Sil Doyle. when Lord
Houghton's death was rumored. that
''his exit is the result Of too many en-
trees.
The second. concerning definition
which Gladstone gave Of deputation.
is also given in the diary It is "a
noun Of numbers signifying many. but
not signitying much.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06
A Curious Postal systen,.

In certain parts Of Sweden. where
the most absolute confidence is reposed
in the honesty Of the people, very in
formal postal system is in vogue As
the mail steamer reaches landing place
man goes ashore with the letters,
which he places in an unlocked box on
the pier. Then the passerby who expects
letter opens the box. turns over the
letters and selects his own. unquestion-
ed By any one
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06
Neither Could Bend.

The late Mrs Keeley. the actress,
used to tell an anecdote OF Queen Vic
toria OIL the occasion when she had the
honor Of being received by her majesty.
On being presented she excused herself
from making low courtesy by saying,
Your majesty, have rheumatism in
my knees. and cannot courtesy
Mrs Kelley" replied the queen,
Il can I. either" And the veteran ac-
tress was put at her ease by the homeli-
ness of the remark and its common
touch of nature. which made the two
women kin.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06

Mother Gray's Sweet Powders for Chill
dren, used by Mother Gray. nurse in Chill
dren's Home, New York. Break mp Colds
in "a hours. cure Feverishness. Headache.
Stomach Troubles, Teething Disorders, and
Destroy Worms. at all druggists, 25c.
Sample mailed FREE. Address, Allen s.
0lmsfed, Leroy, N. Y.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06
Birds. Sest..

Some Australian birds lay their eggs
nm black sand. as if aware Of its superb
or power of absorbing heat; others Sc
iect the neighborhood of hot volcanic
springs. whose warmth plays an impor-
tant part in the Matching.
The mound builders collect heaps Of
sarth and leaves az much as Is feet
high and SO feet in diameter, and in
this hotbed their eggs are hatched.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06
Another oueation.

PA. what sort of house is that p
THAT. my son, is the blind asylum.
Blind people live in there.
''They can't see, can they9'
mo. my boy.
.'Then what has the house got win.
dows for if they can't seef
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06
a 10. a m. a m. D
DAILY. sDaily except sunday

Daily. DAILY except Sunday
"a Stops TO leave passengers fren, yviin,ir.t,.
ton and points north, or take passengers 10.
points south of Delmar
r. stops only on notice TO conductor or agent
Oh signal.
I" stops to leave passengers from, Middle
town and points SOUTH
p" Stops 10 leave passer gers from points
south OF pelmar or take passengers for Will
ming and points north.
New CASTLE AccoxNopATIoN TRA1Ns-Leave
Wilmington S.i3 ll.4, a. m 2 s., Ia, and
. 55, p. m, week-da' Leave New Castle s.5I.
S4a, ll.H a m, Al and 6 81 p M, week.
days.
Express trains leaving HaI rington s.u5 a. m
ana arriving at 6.i3 p m, week days. run
through solid to and from Baltimore. via Porleg
and Newark
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06
A New Kind of Coal.

In a paper on the dialect of New
foundland DR.. Patterson says, 1--WE
have heard Of good janitor of church
who had his feelings hurt by being
obliged to use 'antickfist' coal. -
Household Words.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06

There are sS canals Of business i'm
portance within the limits of the Unit.
ed States They vary in length from
one mile to 3S1. that of the Erie, and in
cost from $40, 900 to $50, 900, 600.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06
Blankets ROBES.

ii II
AS the seasons come and go SO
does an immense stock of.season-
able goods in our line. Summer
as it fades from sight leaves
memory of a great season with
us.
Our immense stock of sheets
and busters have disappeared
and again the space is taken up
with winter goods.
We come before you today
with onr fall epening-You will
find in our stock room BLAN-
KETS and ROBES all sizes,
grades and patterns. Before
you make a selection call and see
US. We will appreciate your call
and will take pleasure in showing
you through our immense stock.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06

Johnny soesn't seem to be hitting the
apple barrel as much asShe did,
No. found clipping in some papeg5
that said apples were good medicine and
laid Il Whera he could see IT,
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06

Mrs. Secaasisfi, ..Ysn are i.ist fire
meancst inaii alive
Mr.. Sec n "Trip '.ayeii lke-e i one c3a-'
sDlntipn. TlFeSisnie | nssy is,ier that lie
lase 'aitssi.tssi " is tncaheF iia.i ann
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06

Mahogany is said to have been brought
to England by Sir Walter Raleigh in
1895, but not to have come into general
usc till 1890.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06

The only way to win an argument
with woman IS to walk on when ron
have stated your size cs 1t. RoxAary
Gazette.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06
BRANCH ROADS.

DELAWARE, MARYLAND& & VIRGINIA r. r.
Leave Harrington for Franklin City and way
SfatiOds 1899 "a IN 6.37 y week days. Return
ing train leaves Franklin City So q. n. ard
i.a7 p. 10. week DAYS.
Leave Franklin City for Chincoteague (via
steamer) LIS p. m. week days Returning
leave Chincoteague /, AZ a. M, weekdays.
Leave harrington for Georgetown, Lewes
at 1879 a. NJ, 637 p. m. week days Returning
leave LeWeS 6.45 "a. i'll and $40 D. NJ week
days
Leave Harrington for Berlin, % 50 a. m and
6.3I p M. weeB days. Returning, leave Berlin
6.S7 n m and 2.4J p. m, week days.
QUEEN ANNE & KENT Il. R.-Leave Townsend
for Centrev1e and way stations 9 Il a. m and
D 81 M. week days Returning. leave Centre
vile I 70 a. na.. AID 2 81 =. m week days,
DELAWARE 4 CHtsArEAKE R R-Leave Clay
ton for oxford and way stations b nI.. and
~ m week days Returning leave Oxford
e4' M, and 10 p: na., wee k-days
CtaBETpeE & SEAr' Hn II. n.--fenve seaford
'orCanthrdge and intermediate stations II II r.
n and | M week days. Returning leave
Cambridge c0 and : 80 Y. III. weekdays
G 'SSecTI, N.-At Porter, with Newark and
Delaware City Railr0ad At Townsend with
Queen Anue's & kert Rairoad. At Ciaytaa
with Delaware Il hesaPeake railroad and
Baltimore & Delaware Bay ailroad At Hat
rington. with Delaware Maryland 4 viryinia
Kallroad. At -eRferd with Can bridge 4 >aaforss
asilroad t 'erar, with New York Pn;la
deirhia & Nor folk. Wics,nico 4 Pvtt,inak.. and
Peninsula Railroads
j. B. HuTCHi, thN. eaeaer.s 5ran,sss
J q. Woou. t4eGpr4i Passenger Assent.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06

70 { entitesy ieFttl ST sllp aclses and
lains 'sf rheumatism lseaiis great deal,
and Holds Sarsaparitla does II.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06
rliddletowu Directory
alsNI,lEI.AL .lEtIl.El

alaNitjEissSi. ttFFfCEik~
President j h. Me NJ hufter: -s,vis'tarS II \.
Suyiiatn; ststrsII. Hnweil, Geurge q. Rowe,
W III. n Cochran.
BANKS.
Peoples National Bank.-r'resiient q. w,
w Naudain Cashier, Geo. ID. Kelley; Teller.
w. G. Lockwood. Bank Building on East
Main Street.
Citizens National Bank.-PresiGent, Joserh
Biggs; Cashier, John =. Crouch Teller, -.
Darlington. Bank Building on South Broad
Street.
SECRET SOCIETIES.
Middlet0wn Council, No. 2, Jr. u. U. A. NJ.
Meets every Monday night in McWhorter's
Hall at O'Clock.
Union Lodge, No. 5, a. +. q a NJ. Meets
first Tuesday of each month in Town dall.
Good Samaritan Lodge, No. ., L. y. y. +.
Meets every Thursday night IN McWhorter's
Hall at 3 O'clock.
Damon Lodge, No. II, <. Of Z. Meets every
Wednesday night in McWhorter's Hall at
O'Clock.
Major John Jones Post, No. u, q: A. =.
Meets every Friday night in Reynolds Build
ing at o'clock
Welcome ConcIave Heptasophs. Meets
every second and fourth Friday night In Is
Union Lodge, No. s, A. .. U. w ;, meets every
I'd anc 4th Tuesday night In McWhorters
Hall.
LOCAL ORGANIZATIONS.
Volunteer Hose Company, meets drSt FRI
day night Of each month IN Hose House.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06
Dime Gable.
Plla. Wilm. and Baltimore B. R
DEL AWARE DIVISION
SOUTHWARK.

On and urer Nov. LIST 1898, trains will
leave as follows.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06
Many scIrool Children are sickly.

1t is believed that in China there is
20 times as much coal as in ali Europe
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06

LOCAL ORGANIZATIONS.
Volunteer Hose Company, meets drst FRI
day night of each month IN Hose House.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06

WI NitStt tAtt - q tAftAtNf
President, j. II. Me " hurter: s,vis.tar rs ,.f \.
Snyiian; f,larls.sII. Hnweil, Geuree q. Rove,
W III. n Cochran.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06

Leave Harrington for Berlin, % 50 a. m and
6.3I p M weeB days. Returning, leave Berlin
6.57 y m and 2.4U y. m. week days
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06

QUEEN ANNE & KENT 4. R-Leave Townsend
for Centreville and way stations Il a m. and
) 81 M. week days Returning leave Centre
vile 4 16 a. nl.. AID 81 =. m week days.
Middletown transcript., 1899-05-06

Leave harrington for Georgetown, Lewes
at I03y a. M, 6.37 p. NJ, week days. Returning
leave Lewes Gas a. i'll and 800 p. NJ week
days
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1899-02-25

itself to excite comment. but when that
mciodfamn contains any number Of
episodes Of what has come 70 be- known
AZ the realistic" sort the fact Is ad.
ditionaily startling.
In my humble opinion there is no
chance whatever Tor THE Great RUBY
10 become success. FOR. while the
stage management II better than nny-
thing over seen In this country in melo.
drama. and while the production Is
more elaborate more magnificent. more
complete and more refined than any
thing Of ita kind ever offered ~ the
ator patrons in New York. There ls not
that In the play which will Interest puo-
pie who are given 10 attending this
form Of entertainment on the other
hand. the picco b. sufficiently aggressive
In Ne mclodamatic way 10 offend those
who care Tor nothing less dlRnlhcd than
Shakespeare and high comedy
~ the many large scrncs, one of tho
most striking BE- a roadside inn, with the
highway running back for n seemingly
great distance. and the coach and four.
which iH driven down 90 O. position he
side the inn al very fair rate N
npced. Another elaborate ana well
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1899-02-25

GEORGE lianker'a recent success on the
European cycle paths calls to mind an
Incident which illustrated the rcruta.
ton attained by the Banker family ~
cyclists. Years ago. In the days 81 solid
tires and WHOM bicycle races were usu.
ally hrld In connection with athletic
field meets. "a group ~ athletes were
gathered together at the ritiHhurg ath-
lcilc club house discussing their chances
Of success nt a meeting TO be held the
next day.
Among them was WIN iloppenstail. nt
the time one of the hest riders about
pittshurr. lie was In particularly
good humor. az he anticipated having
everything his own way and was laugh.
inR and Joking with the other boys
when some one remarked that banker
was entered for the bicycle events.
Hcppcnutnlls Jaw dropped. and he
looked AZ though he had lost his best
friend. Seeing this. the iconoclnrt who
had 20 uncercmoninusly shattered his
fond hopes added by way of consola.
tiuni Never mind, Her. This Isn't the
good Banker. It's only the Md, who 10
"a ~ hir luck for the first time" Hep.
pcnrtnll refused 10 be conHoied. how.
ever. and ricfully said; 1t don't make
any difference. Banker means bicycle.
aud won't be In a."
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1899-02-25
GRAND NATIONAL
STEEPLECHASE.

The Grand National has been decided
upon MS the most nttfng name for the
biz steeplechaso stake which In to be in
augurated this year. and from now on
interest In the big race. which II IL ex-
pectcd viii reawakeD nm interest In the
cross country sport. will not be lacking
among the racing men.
The race will be run at Morris park,
New York. this year. probably on Sat.
urday. May 49, and the conditions are rs
follows:
For i-ycar-olds and upward. by rub.
scriptlon Of 800 each. half forfeit, or
only So II declared on or before May 1,
1899. with 5000 added. g, 800 by sub
scriptIuns of gentlemen Interested In
steoplcchasing and 1900 by the Welt-
chester Racing association. ~ which
$1,000 TO the second aud 500 to the
third. f-ycar-olds to carry it5 pounds
5-yoar.olds To carry ise pounds. G-yenr.
olds and over 10 carry iG5 pounds.
maidens allowed ten pounds: allow
ancca az by rule to mares ana gcidngs.
about 2's miles.
Tho race next year viii probably he
run ~ handicap NJ the Hpring meet
INK Of the brooklyn Jockey club and In
lNNl ~ u NNNNlfAN fN iNN Ef0NnNN or
the Concy Island Jockey club Mt the
spring meeting. The $500 subscribed
by gentlemen Interested In racing" was
got together by u. y. clyde. w G. Eus.
IN. J. W. Colt. y, ". iii,chcnci. and
| ThomaH Hitchcock. 1r
The race win probably bring Into the
/ field some ~ tho crack amateur Jock.
cya. mon like Foxhali Kccnc. Mr.. Lloyd.
/ W. G. Eustla. George Myers. Jnmca T..
! kcrnuchan. Harry Pare. willard Rnby
and number of othorH who used IN
snort nlk In the old days Of atcople.
/ chasing az Ccdarhufat. and their pres
cnce Will lend an added interest not ony
because II viii bring out large nt-
tendance ~ snclety people. hut ai1o rid
/ ors into the Held.
A. rule, the amateur Jockey In a
\ ftooplochnac ~ far better horscmhn
| than the professional atooplechaHo jock.
| ~. Tho amateur Jockey rides Tor tho
glory ~ the thing while the profession
| al risks his neck for dollar. and NJ the
I chance of earning money Il limited the
professional does not vet the experience
of the amateur. The latter. as n rule IL
I a member ~ some hunt club. and fox
/ hunting rivcs a rider finish In the art
that the professional does not gct.