Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1899-01-06

for the New York Press. IL was
Just after Lieutenant Hobson sue.
ceeded in kissing 1873 women in 80
minutes 7 $40 seconds in Chicago
that he proceeded to Kansas City
and broke all osculatOry records by
kissing the entire female population
of Kansas City, and those who have
lived in that begrimed town can
imagine what any one save a pro-
fessional kisser like Hob-on would
have had TO endure in duplicating
not only the kisses, but the feat.
These two tasks having been sat-. =
inctorily completed, Lieutenant
lIobson gave faYoFabIe considera-
ton 10 a telegram sent him from
What Cheer, Iowa, asking him if
he could stop long enough on his
journey 10 the Philippine, 10 deliv-
er an address before the Heart to
Heart Club Of that place. The
communication went ON 20 say
that the Club contained gs7 menu
beers and that the time between
train. was two hour. and nineteen
minutes The telegram wa. sign
ed "Cleopatra McClo.key.' This
looks easy, remarked the lieuteu-
antas Dee rubbed biz lips with vase
line and -prIukled them with o
certain ciingiug face powder; 1857,
aud ! only stay there two hour
and nineteen minutes. I'm in good
training, but this i-a mere basa.
trlle between trains, you might
say, he went ou, addressing the
surgeon who habiluaIly travels
with him 20 Keep hi- facial muscle.
perfectly pliabIe and ready %
undergo any siege Of endurance.
"Ai,lnecdsaiiuiehcial massage.
and l'lI come out aIl right. Just
wire them that lll be on hand with
both Zip. and ready to repeat my
merry smack exploit. They'll
catch ou TO that joke all right. "
The doughty lieutenant and his
rctiuur, who the Kansas City girls
SAD was pot half a, suite a. him
-elf. boarded the cattle train which
makes annual trip. 10 What Cheer.
There ave mauy trains oct Of this
town, but only one arrival yearly.
The hero of Santiago was met IN
the platform by a burly gentleman
with whiskers, who promptly deni-
cd the fact that his name was
Cleopatra McCIoskey. Miss Nc
Closkey il my typewriter, " remark
ed the burly gentleman with some
warmth, aud signed the telegram
on my behalf. lam the president
OF the Heart 10 Heart Club, aud We
are prepared to give you a gorgeous
welcome rs there no committee
OF ladies TO greet me?' asked Lieut..
Hobson, looking around Ia a
nervous and expectant way, a. his
lips uncurled in the throes Of a
preliminary rehearsal. "Ladiesw
remarked the president. What do
you meau2 There are no ladies' in
this club mo LADIES'" gasped
Hobson. What shall do? | can't
kiss the members of the club un.
less they are ladies, for the secre-
tary oithe navy shutting down on
my matinee performances already,
and I've got to bee very careful.
isn't there any one in the club |
could kiss?' The burly man howl.
ed with glee. a. he replied: "Not
in this club you can't. Every mem.
Der is a man, and this is a stag
pa. = that you are invited To ad.
dress 4 sudden paleness, the re-.
suit of fame, over the face Of Hob
son came. Painting, he fell on the
Platform. The physician who
was called applied heroic remedies,
and the distinguished officer was
rallied just in time to be put upon
the next departing train. What
Cheer, Iowa, is crossed of the map,
and can never again be even Hob
sons choice.
Exchange Hotel Arrivals.