The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-02-05
etiquette of Cards
and Calling.
SOCIETY De MANDS.
Evening Calls Have Gone
Out-Tea Calls.

il is a good rule to stay only fifteen
minutes at formal, at any rate a first
call. unless, of course, urged to stay
l1onger for some special reason 1t is
ban equally good rule TO depart as the
room becomes crowded, and talking
grows difficult, at all events to relin-
lQuish ones place near the hostess. Tea
Us universally served on calling days in
all well-regulated houses; but if you
Rre obliged to go very early, say at 3
O'Clock, it is good form to decline the
loffer of tea made specially for you, not
lonly because of the unreasonable hour,
Ebut because it makes a great deal of
strouble
Little speeches are now ruled out
pretty generally in the routine of call
Eng. 1t is foolish to pretend that call
Fng" is more than routine; and the
Emore quietly one enters, and the more
Iunobstrusively departs, the better
tpleased will the hostess be. Above ALL
sdon't keep her standing an hour, while
you lecture or crate or go over
somebody's history, while everybody
else sits about looking foolish.
Put your card on a convenient place
holds out for you, and mention your
name to the man servant, if there is
one A man or a maid usually takes
the card on tray, and stands holding
the curtains (perhaps) aside, for you
to enter, speaking your name audiblX
at the same time. Sending or taking
the card in before you to the drawing
room on afternoons" is obsolete. ~
A man in this country must be asked
to call, before he may venture to do it.
To take away the awkwardness or
suspicion of forWardness from such
an act, it may be stated that a
lady usually knows where a gentleman
wishes to call, and if he has been out
of his way to be civil to her, she is safe
in asking him. He then calls as soon
as possible after the invitation is Civ
en-. After that, if it is family of
much entertaining. he will receive, if
his visit has been agreeable, an invita-
tion to dinner. After that, again, he
calls within a week, and then he may
be summoned for informal occasions,
etc. He is an acquaintance.
This rule is not for young girls, whose
mothers must do che asking.
The imposing and important question
of Its being necessary to call (and thus
return your own visitD after a five
o'clock tea, or at home, is not mooted
in communities where there is any
some small towns, and some large cities,
of provincial experience only, the point
is everlaStingly being raised, it may as
we'll be said once and for all, that it is
another absurdity to feel obliged to
make one call after another. The
rash person who issues 800 invitations
to a tea, mas 800 calls to return; and if
she does not know this fact, she has
been more than rash; she has been ig-
norant. An exception may be made,
as it always is made in any case, for
that matter in favor of old or delicate
ladies, who cannot return 800 calls; and
sometimes, when the hostess make a
special occasion of a tea, and has a set
program of music. But even then
calling is a gratuitouS civility and by
no means expected.
Nothing excuses delay in returning
first visit within a few days, but go
ing out of town, or illness. Nothing
can be taken in place of a call after a
dinner, luncheon, a supper, or thea
ire party, unless, as said before, you
are Ill or out of town. A card may be
sent with word of regret, and nothing
is as easy, really, as attention of this
kind, which invariably pleases the re-
cipient
The custom of turning up Cor DOWN
corners of cards is no longer followed:
nor is it considered necessary for a
g a
large family, except on most formal
occasions. Ladies who drive when they
pay visits usually have a very heavy
wrap on in cold weather, which they
leave in the carriage. But when walk
ing In a thick jacket, it is allowable,
more comfortable. and certainly health
Ter, to take it off in the hall
An abomination that has been done
away with in large cities is the even
ing call. In small communities. where
dinner is early, and the engagements
of whole set are well known, the eve
ming call holds it's own. and possibly
nils the requirements better than if it
were made in the busy hours of day.
But for those who can conform to late
hours for dinner and dinner parties. the
evening visit is an impossibility. or
ought to be. 1t is a great nuisance,
at any rate. The visitor breaks into a
dinner, 1t may be, or intercepts the
family just starting for the theatre. or
for dinner party at another house. if
he calls as early as o'clock Only in
innate friends are allowed to call in the
evening in circles where the convep
tionalties are observed. "Etiuuette
for Americans" BY Woman of Fash
ion. Published by Stone & Co, Chicago
and New York