Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1899-08-17
THE INSULATING OMELET.

THE INSINUATING OMELET.
Prof Hilsdrup tugged at the bell
rope for the second time and glared
more saVagely than ever at the beauti-
full thing in crispy brown and yellow
lying between two springs Of parsley.
Such frown when aimed at such an
omelet was unworthy Of any fair
minded man. All of Mrs. HOdgsOn's
omelets were wonderful, and this was
one of her best. 1t looked so light as
to enjoin haste in eating it, lest a lit
tie draught should take it out of the
open window in the garden as easily
as if it was a thistle-blOW; so appe-
thing as to pardon beforehand the
breach of good manners in crying
aloud for more as soon as one had
finished it. But the professor re-
garded it as an enemy which had
treacherously stolen into his presence
with murderOus intent. One aggraVa-
ton after another had followed since
he began the day an hour ago with a
headache, which promised a bilious at
tack in the near future.
When he had taken Mrs Hodgson's
drawing-rOOm floor with a sitting
room looking out on a delightful little
garden and the bare walls Of the Brit
ish museum, some three months be-
fore, just as the winter was breaking,
and settled down to work on Isaac
Newton and His Compeers," such an
OmeIet had come up in the company Of
a well-lOaded fruit stand for his first
breakfast. AS he pushed his chair
back from the plate with only faint
trace of yellow left on it, he determin-
ed to have that Omelets counterpart
every morning. He had it, and en-
joyed it with a leisurely taste that
enriches life for a man of 54, until
friend who introduced him to NUT
ton-pie luncheons in the British
museum restaurant assured him that
eggs were the making of biliousness.
IN truth between mutton pies and
hard work the professors stomach was
quite out of order. He imagined it to
be worse than it was, thus making y
worse than it otherwise would have
been, and blamed all to the omelet.
To send up an omelet after he had
ordered a mutton chop appeared to
him on this particular morning a
downright mutiny. Mrs. Hodgson
was getting him altogether too much
in her power. He tugged at the bell
and scowled and determined to have
an understanding at once.
&C
Mrs. Hodgson herself who had en-
tered.
Don't you know" he growled,
that l am of a bilious temperament
and omelets are not good for me?'
"One of my omelets?" she asked
doubtmlly. She had never seen the
professor in such mood before. She
was at once indignant and chagrined.
"All omelets are alike, madam
Mine are no better than anybody
else's?"
Madam" continued the professor
in cold, hard voice. Il told Harriet
last night that l most specially wanted
a mutton chop for breakfast"
Then ate it"
~ on ate 1t!
"Yes-I didn't know. Harriet didn't
say anything to me about it. l sup
posed YOU would have an omelet, as
you always had"
always! Always! For three
months, It is a wonder that | have
anything in my body except a liver"
He tried to annihilate the omelet with
one glance and Mrs. Hodgson with an
other.
when I saw only one chop in the
larder," said Mrs. Hodgson, her
natural snap and dignity returning,
Il supposed it was for me, of course,
as l usually have a mutton chop for
breakfast"
"Ah! You don't eat your own ONE
let's"
You don't eat your own manu-
scripts" she replied with asperity
IF you will wait only for a few min
utes I will send out for a chop" she
added more pleasantly"
NO" said the professor, sitting
down at the table with the air of a
martyr. Il am a busy man Mrs. Hodg-
son. l wish you would not arrange my
papers on my desk any more. DOM
touch my desk. You can throw away
anything you find on the floor"
But, sir, you showed me how to ar.
range them when you first came ant
you said l did it so nicely and saved
you lot Of trouble"
This was too much. The professor
felt that his dignity was at stake.
Mrs Hodgson," he Numbered. &c
shall leave when my week is up
She tossed her head and said
Very WE'LL with aggravated sweet
ness. The professor settled down tt
his breakfast, muttering something
about ''impudent women" Once out il
the hall, Mrs. Hodgson stamped he
foot and exclaimed, "The old fool"
That omelet tasted uncommon,
well, as if to tantalize him. He ate i
all. even to the last fragment, whicl
tantaliZed him still further Then h
went over to his desk to write Hi
oen, his paper and his notebook wer
where Mrs. Hodgson had placed them
which was just where they ought t
he. This also was most tantalizine