davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
She Was Careful.

snow propose" began Mr.. Dinkey.
: He was interrupted at this point by
his auditor, Miss Beacon, of Boston,
who spoke substantially as follows:
"Mr. Dinkey, accuracy of language
demands an explanation at this point.
Do you use the word propose as a
synonym of purpose or in it's matri-
monial sense?"
Later developments showed that Mr..
Dinkey used the word in it's matri-
monial sense Harper's Bazaar.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
A New Dodge for Summer,

Clerk-Are we going to use the sea
serpent this summer?
PROPRIETOR tnink not. 1 have
better scheme than that. I shall ar
range to have BOTTLES washed up on the
beach every day, each one containing
message from some arctic explorer
y. Y. journal.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
An Afterthousht,

Mrs. Goadley-It would be a good
thing for you if you thought twice De
fore speaking once.
Mr.. Goadley-It's too late now.
should have pursued that plan before
I proposed to you.-San Francisco EN-
aminer
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
RETRIBUTJON.

Mrs. Slimtayble (after the wreck)-
Oh, Henry! I'm afraid this board won't
sustain me!
Her Husband-'Tis judgment sent
upon, you, Maria. Many a poor devil
who has paid you six dollars a week
has said the same thing.-Cleveland
LEADER
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
Mrs. Fly-What do you mean by com
Beauty and Utilitx.

We can't have roses all the year
So nature has things planned;
!. But strawberries-as fond1y dear
May be preserved and canned.
g. Detroit Free Press.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
A Lucky Man.

"My husband has great advantage
over most men,"
"Indeed?"
'Yes. He walks in his Sleep"
II don't see what advantage that can
be to a person"
"Why, he can carry the baby all night
long and still get his natural rest
Chicago Daily News.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
Invitation Declined !.

Jason-Come home and take dinner
with me tonight, old chap-will you?
Thayer-Why-er-
Jason-Oh, but you must come. My
wife's had some fool friend there every
night for two weeks, and I want to get
even.-Judge.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
Enjoyment.

did you have nice time at the con-
cert last night?"
splendid! Sue Darlington told me of
a lovely new dressmaker that she has
found" Chicago Daily News.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
Past the Crisis.

The Doctor-Take the nice medicine
now, Johnny, like good boy.
The Sick Boy-Take away your darned
old medicine! It's nasty!
The Doctor-Madam, you can go and
sleep now. Your boy is entirely out Of
danger.-Chicago Tribune.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
Lions Are Ieft.H.rd.d

A lion hunter who has made study
of that animals peculi:,rities, says that
all lions are left-handed. When one
strikes forcible blow it always uses
its LETT paw.--Cleveland Leadrr.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
The Bare Facts.

A little babe, beyond doubt,
Is bald until his hair comes out;
And, later on. in manhood when
His hair comes out, he's bald again.
Il, A, w, Bulletin.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
Home for Him,

Goslin-I lose my head so readily
doncher know, Miss Amy.
Miss Anyhow fortunate! One O
these times you'll get another.-Har
lem Light.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20

Snodgrass-The world has place for
everybody. >.lsg
Micawber-Yes; the only trouble is,
there's generally somebody else in it.
Tit-Bits.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
COnceit,

Mrs. Spatts-I wouldn't marry the
best man living if l had it to do over
again.
Spatts-I wouldn't ask you again
Brooklyn Life.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
INDIGESTION.
Napoleon Jackson-Is de ole woma

Napoleon Jaclson-Is de ole woman
very sick, Bass? .. -. --.-. .
Bass Jones-Yis; terrible gnawin'
pain in de stumjack! 5...-.
Napoleon Jackson-Wha's de causa-
ton?
Bass Jones-She jist swallud her
false rehabilitation Life.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
Mere Matter of Choice,

IF I ever marry it shall be to wom-
an of fine intellect"
'IIuh! Wouldn't you rather have a
wife who thought you a great MANI
Indianapolis Journal.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
Am biEuOuS.

Mr.. Saphed-Will you tell me your
candid opinion of me, Miss kene?
Miss kene Il have no opinion of you,.
Mr.. Saphed.-Judy.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
Helps Trade.

her own bread in order to save five cents a
week, the man who has put on the market
an infallble cure for dyspepsia smiles like
cat that has just eaten the canary.-Nau.
VOC Rustler.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
Two CuriOsities.

Higginbotham-I've just seen won
derful invention-a fine silk umbrella
that can be turned into frst-class cane
with very little effort.
Cadwallader - That's nothing. I
owned fine silk umbrella that with no
effort at all, simply by leaving it an
hour in the rack at a political meeting,
turned into third-class bingham one.
IN. Y. World.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
% Mrs. R>n4Aa,n,
lynn, H2ass:
LETTER TO MRS. P1skAAx NO. 41,ao7]

... 49,. Il.
"DEAR FRIEND-A year ago was .
great sufferer from female weakness.
My head ached all the time and would
get so dizzy and have that all gone
feeling in the stomach and was so
nervous and restless that I did not
know what to do with myself.
my food did me no good and had a
bad case of whites. 1wrote to you and
after taking Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound as directed, can
truly say that 1 feel like new woman
and cannot tell you how grateful am
to you.
81 have recommended it to all my
friends and have given it to my
daughter who is now getting along
splendidly. May you live many years
to help our suffering sisters. '-MRs. C.
CARPENTER, 253 GRAND ST., BROOKLYN,
N. Y.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
Woman MS Loving Trust.

Now in this age of trusts, alas!
Fair woman plays her part;
The summer girl let's no chance pass
To syndicate her heart.
Catholic Standard and Times.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
md Belonged to Her lFnthe

Hewitt-Do you like pointed toed
shoes? -
Jewett--Not when they are pointed
toward me.-N. Y. World,
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
SAD CASE OF JACK SMITH.

Jack Smith was clerk on thousand year
And his heart was as bright us the May;
His smart little wife made his humble home
dear,
For she did her own homework with never
fear
OF what other people might say,
Might say,
OF what foolish people might say.
His tastes being simple, his wants they
were few;
Contented and happy he dwelt;
49, He dined on plain food and took exercise,
So vigor and health and good nature he
Lou, knew.
D.. And never worry he felt,
DOR He felt,
Gaines. To shorten the girth of his belt.
Board poor he could live as it suited him
sesslnent bot
On motion sss just for comfort alone:
:, -. jde on merry-go-round with a
tor be instructed'th and be honest because he
Wallender. Of the dependence unknown.
the session OF bOa Unknown
correct his books a weather. zone.
and incorrect. vas happy until in awhile
a., motion 10 him riches galore,
the poor fellow bloomed out in
p. M. style
cit in grand architectural pile
servants on every floor,
HORROR!
Boar With bosses on every floor.
J. Cumberland Smythe was our gentleman
now,
Esquire tackled onto his name;
And his ambitious wife she was training
him now
To make his politest society bow
To further her loftiest aim
That came
From trying to "get in the game"
With nothing to do he grew puffy and stout,
And wine made him red in the face:
He dined on course dinners with nabobs
about, .r
His health and his nerves and good nature
gave out,
~ And he soon was pit!ful case,
Full case,
For the doctors who thrived on his pace.
In garments of fashion he had to be bound
And walk with dignified tread:
To operas, balls and receptions around
His wife made him golf he didn't she
found
Another to go in his stead,
His stead,
When scandalous things might be said.
A valet he had who would fawn at his face
And fun of him make at his back @
His butler, bedecked with gold buttons and
Looked down on him so that he felt in his
place
AS small as the point OF a tack,
5f Attack,
And worse than man on the rack
In his carriage with lveried driver before
And a folded-armed tiger behind,
And his wife with poodle he had to adore.
He rode in the park while admirers, score,
Would bow to his wife who inclined
Inclined,
While he was compelled to be blind
In spite of his money both ends wouldn't
meet, .. E-
For he had to ape weather. geese,
complete
To keep up the style he must practice de-
ceit, .,..
Which robbed all his slumbers of peace,
OF peace,
@ Till death seemed his only release.
One day in a restaurant sadly he went
And asked as a privilege rare
That he, as in days he had happily spent,
Could take off his coat and in shirt sleeves
content A
Sit down on plain wooden chair,
Hard chair,
And feel just as free as the air.
"And can't l." he asked "as privilege
great
Have corned beef and cabbage to eat
With plenty of mustard and all on one
You'll pardon MY tears for, alas, must
It's years since I've known such treat,
treat,
It'syears sinceIv known such a treat
III. c. Dodge, in Chicago Daily Sun.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
Her Side Of the Question.

Upon his wheel he scours the country,
His wife at home bicycling loathes;
For next day it's her dirty duty
To scour the country off his clothes.
Judge
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
Dandel1Ons.

The market gardeners around Paris
cultivate the dandelion on large scale
and sell it for good prices in the mar.
ket.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
twas Ever Thus.

Life is but season of discomfort,
For change we are constantly praying
In winter we long for the July sun,
And in summer we want to go sleighing
Chicago Daily News.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
As We See Ourselves.

All the worlds stage, and all the people
are but actors,
AS Shakespeare says they are.
And, furthermore, each person in his heart
of hearts is
Convinced that he's star.
-AnSWerS
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
A Cause for surnri.e.

Miss Passe Tin confidence)-Do you
know, my dear, 1 AM &c to-day?
Miss Caustic-What, still? = n. Y.
World.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20

Over eighty thousand
such letters as this were re-
ceived by Mrs. Pinkham
during 1897. Surely this is
strong proof of her ability
to help suffering women.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
Anyone Ourht to knov

Mistress Ito Norah)-What must be
the condition of a person in order to be
buried in consecrated ground?
Norah Tin great surprise) = Dead,
mum!-Judge.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
impossible to Doubt,

HOW 40 KhOW tn1S IS 13-year-OIu
whisky?"
Here is the written guarantee, sir.
of the man who invented the process
for aging it."-Chicago Tribune.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20

Second Cannibal-Great; just like do
ing a little missionary work.-N. Y
World.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
An Observation

The man who gets up in the morning and
grumbles
If breakfast is not yet in sight,
Is the very same man who goes fishing
and patiently
Waits all the day for a bite.
IN. Y. World.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
BETRAYED Hlmaelf.

Nell-Did you meet Miss Gotrox's fiancee?
Believes; he's no italian count.
'How do you know?'
Gle shakes your hand around in circle
as if you were an organ. '-Philadelphi
Record.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20

Lawyer-"You say that you were in the
saloon at the time Of the assault referred
SIR" Lawyer-"Did you take scognizance Of
the barkeeper at the timer Witness-"I
don't know what he called It, but | took
what the rest did. Boston Courier. .
He-"I believe this is my d. nce." She
..Then III sit here and watch you."-Town
Topics. g.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20

Golden Days.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-20
Looking for, Square Meal.

First Cannibal--lTow do you feel t
day: f fv@ y
The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-07-30

Public sentiment demands immediate
action by the committee to which was
intrusted the work of obtaining stat
ue of Gen. Charles Devens.
The Spy has printed numerous inter-
views with prominent members of the
city government, prominent members
of the bar and representative men of
business, and the sentiment in favor of
immediate and decisive action in the
matter is unanimous.
Nothing further can be said in favor
of action at the present time. Every
indication is that if the project is re-
newed with proper vigor during the
month Of August, and pushed according
to the desire of friends of Gen. Devens,
the necessary money can be raised in
two or three weeks, and before the first
day of September a contract can be
made with French or some other
sculptor.
All the unfavorable conditions and
the petty differences which have mill
tated against the success of the under
taking in the past have entirely disap-
peared, and the committee has clear
field under conditions more favorable
than have existed since the project was
launched five years ago.
The discussions over the question of
The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-07-30
POLICE CASES.
Mani Maxi Found on Church Stree, eadI

Mani Maxi Found on Church Street Badly
zen sssgv Cut.er
- Mani MAXI, a Finlander, % years old,
living at 9 Fountain street, was picked
up by Officers Davidson and O'Connor
on Church street last night about 10
O'Clock suffering from a bad cut on the
left wrist. From the manner In which
he bied an artery must have been sew
cred, and from the appearance the off
GERS think that the cut was made by a
knife. The police ambulance was called
and Officer Hurley, after applying the
tourniquet. took the man to the CITY
hospital. He could not talk English
and 1t was impossible to learn. how the
affair happened. Maxi is employed at
the Grove street works Of the American
Steel & Wire Company.
Jacob Habib was arrested last night
by Officer A. Q. Thayer and booked at
Station l for drunkenness and assault
on an officer. Jacob was well loaded
with booze when found by the officer,
ana refused at first to start along when
told to do SO by the officer.
Jeremiah Harrington and Gustaye
johnson We're arrested last night by Of
hcers O'Connor and Davidson for as
sault and battery on Israel Eaker Of IL
Spring street. Eaker claims Harring-
ton and Johnson were drunk when they
assaulted him, and did so without any
provocation.
Cateldo Della was arrested yesterday
afternoon by Inspector Fisher, officer
Brady and Special officer Brady Of the
Fitchburg railroad for the larceny of
two bags of old Junk from. an Italian
pedler named De Luca. The officers
have been looking for Della for several
days, and found him yesterday at his
home on Lyon street. The stolen prop
erty is valued at about $40.
The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-07-30

is needed by public subscription. Wor-
eester men are ready to give this
amount. All needed is prompt action
by the committee.
Thomas M. Rogers says: "a statue
such as would properly represent the
cherished memory of Gen. Devens
would cost many thousands of dollars,
but the statue would be a worthy tri-
butte and an ornament to any section of
the city. The court house site is by far
the most available and appropriate
place for the statue, In former years /
have followed efforts to erect a statue
to the memory of the court house hill
hero with interest, but there has al
ways been a lack of men willing to con
tribute. There is nothing to be gained
by doing things by halves, and 1 hope
the present effort will be strong enough
to establish a commendable tribute"
Q. S. Kendall, dealer in plumbing
goods, said: IF the time has come for
active work in behalf of a fund for the
erection of monument to Gen. Devens
it is the duty of every citizen to fall in
line and support the movements Ihave
always thought and especially since
the new post office was built, that the
city should honor Benjamin Franklin
by the erection of a monument to his
memory in Franklin square, where the
flatiron building now stands, but, of
course, there is no other site to COM
pare with Court house hill as a place
for the erection of statue to the mem
ory of Gen. DeVens.'
The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-07-30

with the preliminary heats and semi
finals. The heats will be pulled off
every half hour with no waits, until 6
o'clock
On Tuesday the final heats will be
rowed. They will be pulled off every
half hour, the racing beginning at 8
O'Clock Tuesday will be the day that
the red hot racing will be rowed On
Monday the poorer oarsmen will be
weeded out and only the best will be
in for the finals.
The matteDsnf having a crowd wit
ness the races has been practically as
sured by the closing of the stores
through the efforts of j. Russell Mar
BILE of the Board of Trade. All the
large stores have signified their inten-
ton of closing on Tuesday, and the
small stores are coming into line. The
stores usually close Friday, but this
week they will close for the races.
Capt. David A. Matthews has made
out the details of sergeants and officers
for duty at the races
Sergt. George H. Hill will be in
charge Monday afternoon of officers
Burke, j. w. Roche, Mcleod, Tferney.
Fyrberg, Daniel Mccarthy, Flaherty,
Wallbridge, Lombard, Ames, Boyle,
Thurman, Shippee, Barrett, Porter, II,
H. Spencer, Donahue, Lindquist, Fair
banks, Hackett and Mason.
Sergt. McMurray will be in charge
Tuesday, and will report at l o'clock
with the following officers: Dunn, c.
w. Barker, James O'Connor, Davidson,
The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-07-30

site, the differences of military and le-
gal friends of Gen. Devens and personal
considerations, which have hampered
the work for the statue in the past, are
common knowledge and have become
history But all these, as shown in
the interviews printed in The Spy, have
oeen swept away in the common desire
TO see one of Woreesters most illustri-
Gus sons honored, and no reasonable ex-
cuse or reason for further delay in the
matter can be offered by the commit
tee. Now is the time for the realization
Oh the plan. The state has put up a
monument near the state house, in Bos-
ton. All that is needed now is $4,000, to
be raised by public subscription, and
the figure of Gen. Devens will stand
near the new court house. an imperish-
able tribute of his home city to the hon
or of the jurist-soldier.
Said prominent member of the bar
yesterday: Within the last week The
Spy has blazed a clear and unmistak-
able plan for the committee to follow.
believe that if the present opportuni-
" is allowed to pass without definite
action and the actual starting of sub
scription paper, the statue which every
loyal citizen would like to see stand on
Court hill, will never be obtained. De-
lay, from whatever cause, will but
hamper the success of the movement
when it is taken UP in earnest, and to
my mind there can be no possible ex-
cuse nor reason for delay. would like
to see the committee take hold of the
The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-07-30

matter with energy, and personally
cannot understand why the move is not
made.
The history of the project since it first
started has been one long chapter of
debate, argument and dissension. Ac-
ton along definite line has been lack
ing from the first, according to the con-
fession Of one of the original promoters
of the enterprise. Worcester wants to
see Gen. DeYens honored. The desire
Is just as fixed as when the plan for a
statue was first proposed. Regardless
OF the question of size or style of stat
ue, the committee should no longer de-
lay in making a move. This is the
general sentiment as shown in The Spy
interviews
The original plan of the promoters
favored an equestrian statue of Gen.
Devens, after a plan of the illustration
herewith, which was the original de-
sign. Since the original sketch was
drawn, sentiment has changed in ia
vor of civic statue, concentrating
Gen. Devens as jurist. AS such he
was best known locally. The Boston
statue is equestrian. AS far as can be
learned, the opinion of the men who
would subscribe to a Devens monument
fund favor statue of him as justice
OF the supreme bench, with possibly a
military cloak thrown across the Shout
ders as token of his military honors.
The cost of such statue would be S15,-
600. OF this amount $4,000 is practical
~ provided for. Five thousand dollars
The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-07-30
DISAPPOINTED SPORTS.
The Boston Men Refused to Back Ma
gulre and Ten EYck Money Went Begging.


In Ten Eyck's great victory yester-
day. Worcester sporting men were sub
ject to great disappointment They
didn't get any money on the win. For
two years at least they have been bid
ing their time until the fastest amateur
sculler of Boston would consent to row
Ten Eyck. They tried by every means
in their power to bring about the race,
for they wanted to lay their money on
the man they thought the better. The
time came yesterday, but the money
didn't. For months Boston and Cam
bridge men have been talking about
Maguire's ability to whip the Wachu-
sett lad and about the stacks of green
backs which they would wager on the
result. But they didn't wager.
There wasn't anything like a cores
ponding amount of money wagered for
the interest that was displayed in the
race. A few of the Worcester men who
did succeed in getting money on Ten
Eyck were unfortunate in being delayed
in getting their money. The protest that
Mcguire put in made shareholders wary
about paying over bets.
Some We're lucky enough to get even
money, but only few. The Worcester
men were willing to give all kinds OF
odds and gave some, the largest single
bet recorded being one of 500 to $50, a
Wachusett man being the better.
The amount that changed hands over
the race was probably less than $500
More than ten times that amount might
have been easily expected from the talk
made by Boston men about Mcguire s
ability to defeat Ten Eyck.