davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09
CARE FOR THEIR RATS.
How London Butchers Save Their Mo-.
Whole For Their Customers.

Whole For Their Customers.
London butchers have contrived a
new way Of freeing themselves from
the depredations of rats. After some
experience it was found that the rats
could not be caught nor killed in their
holes, and as they were max ing great
inroads upon the meat, something had
to be done. Whoever devised that
something isn't known, but he was a
genius. He decided that the best way
Of keeping the rats from eating what
they should not eat was to furnish
them with something else that was just
as good, and place it near their hole.
Accordingly dainty meal consisting
of bread, sweet biscuit, potatoes and
sugar was laid on the floor, next to
the hole, and day after day the bill OF
fare was changed. There was to be
no monotony which could give the rats
an excuse for going back to the old
fare.
At first the rats, chief of which is a
white haired patriarch, were disturbed
by these unwonted manifestations of
friendship and severely let the food
alone, but in less than month there
were hopeful signs that the rat heart
was softening. The food was gradually
whipped out of sight by the messen-
gers of the guests and carried down
below to be eaten, and one day, to the
delight Of the caterers, the elderly rat
cautiously popped his hoary head out
of the opening and looked furtively
around the shop. Presently he was
joined by others, one Of which, proba-
bly, the warrior Of the party, had lost
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09
Marrying "A In Bunch.

Who watches me with tender care?
Who undertakes to trim my hair?
Who always wants the beefsteak rare:
My mother-in-law.
Who helps my shattered nerves to jar?
Who screeches like trolley car?
Who blatherskires just like'her ma?
My sister-in-law.
Who goes out strolling in the park?
Who wears my clothes when on .
lark?
Who tells me I'm an easy mark?
My brother-in-law.
Who arises each morn at ten from bed
Who plays pinochle and looks we'll fed
Who has "rheumatics" since / am wed
My father-in-law.
- McHenry.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09
Boys of the Olden Time.

Boys have always been boys. There
is no doubt that Shem and Ham
pitched coppers or played jackstraws
on the shady side of the ark, while
Noah. who couldn't find them, had to
feed the stock himself, or that David
held up two fingers to Jonathan when
he saw him across the block and that
they Herewith went in swimming in
the Jordan against the expires, prohibit
ton Of their mothers.-Minneapolis
Journal
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09
For tho Steak That Never Came.

For tho Steak That Never Came.
Customer-You are a waiter, aren't
you?
Waiter-Yes, sir.
Customer-Well. aren't you afraid
you will lose your job? I've been walt
ing here longer than you have.-New
York World.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09

OF her head. and thought how excel
lenty she fitted in her surroundings.
She was beginning her work we'll.
Only her motive was not to win Ber-
nard. but to infiict pain on the rec
usant Valdane, when he should ar
rive.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09

Ask your grocer to-day to show you n
package Of GRAIN-O, the new food
drink that takes the place of coffee.
The children may drink it without in
jury as well as the adult. All who try
it, like 1t. GRAIN-O has that rich seal
brown of Mocha or Java, but il is made
from pure grains, and the most delicate
stomach receives IL without distress.
One-fourth the price OF coffee. l5c.
and 25c. per package. Sold by all
grOcers.
How cheerful it is to have "a pleasant
person in our company
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09
An EXPLANATION.

You referred to your friend as
dead game sportsman"
Eyes; he always buys his birds in
the market-house. Dead game Is his
speciality. "-Washington Star.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09
Presence of Mind.

Mrs. Murphy-Oi say, Pat, what
would yez do II the ould house would
tumble on yez and crush yez to death
Her Husband-Faith, an Ord fly fer
me loife.-Ohio State Journal.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09
A Regular Stick.

YES" said Brown. you always find
me with pen in my hand. | am a
regular penholder. old man"
Lets see." replied Jones, musingly.
"a penholder is usually a stick. isn't
ltT--ohio State Journal.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09

Softleigh (time 1859 p. m)-The fell
lows all say I'm dreadfully easy-go-
ing chap, dontcher know.
Miss Cutting (suppressing yawn)-
I don't believe it.-Stray Stories.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09

Within the past 80 days the Balti-
more and Ohio Rail Road has placed
several orders for new freight equip
ment to meet the excessive demand for
cars. The South Baltimore Car Works
is building 1900 Baltimore and Ohio
standard. box cars with allmodern i'm
provements. The American Car and
Foundry Company has an order for
$50 refrigerator cars and 10 improved
horse cars have also been ordered.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09

Brutus-Whats this yarn about
Caesar thrice refusing golden crown?
Cassius-The dentist wanted to
crown one of his teeth. and Caesar
didn't have the nerve to let him 60
ahead
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09
No Cause for Alarm.

Chaffee-Miss Goldielocks asked me
what / thought of you last night.
Brann-Is that SO?
Chaffee-Yes. But don't be alarmed.
didn't tell her.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09
Chlcngn Grcnt Mestern Increaae.

The earnings of the Chicago Great
Western Ry. Maple Leaf Route" for
the third week in October, 1899, show
an increase of S2S,3O3,23. Total in
crease since beginning OF fiscal year
July 1sO to date, 1882, 9O6,57.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09
Small But Strong.

Mr.. North-You say you like spir-
tied horses; what is your favorite
breed?
Mr.. South-Toe tell 20 the truth.
sub, a pony of brandy.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
SOME GOOD JOKES, ORIGINAL
AND SELECTED.

Variety of Jokes, Gibes and Ironies,
Original and Selected-Flotsam and
Jetsam from tho Tide OF uumor-
Witty Sayings.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09

Queen Victoria has seventy-one di-
rect descendants. The queen has seven
sons and daughters living, thirty-threo
grandchildren and thirty-one great
grandchildren
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09

LUCAS COUNTY NJ
Frank J. Cheney makes oath that he IA thu
senior partner OF the firm OF T.. j. Cheney q Co
doing business In the City OF Toledo, County
the sum OF ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for
each and every case OF Catarrh that cannot be
cured by the use OF Halls Catarrh Cure
FRANK j. CHENEY.
Sworn TO before me and subscribed in NV
presence, this 9th day OF December, A. ID. 1854
fSrAI1 A. w. GLEASON,
Notary Public.
Halls Catarrh Cure IL taken internally, and
acts directly on the blood and mucous surfaces
OF the system. Send for testimonials free.
, II. J. CHENEY g. Co, Toledo O.
Sold by Druggists Tbc.
Halls Family Pills are the best
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09
A GOrdIan Knot.

Dasherly-I understand that he's
very well connected.
Flasherly-You bet! He's tied to his
wife's apron strings.-Kansas City In
dependent.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09

Little by little we depart from the
terrible and reach the ridiculous
Longinus
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09

an ear. Having 30 far established
confidence, those in the shop proceeded
step further by holding the food in
and days elapsed before this new
movemen! met with success, but at last
the wary old rat came down and
Rnatched a piece Of bread from the
hand Of one of the men and scuttled
off. Within week from that day an
absolute understaL ding was estab-
lished. After that they fed regularly
from the hand.
Nowadays, at three thumps upon
the floor at noon, q whole battalion Of
rats appear on the floor and group
themselves about the hole to take
their regular meal.
ihe Tower Bridge ILris.
Some surprise having been ex-
pressed by visitors to the Tower bridge
at the fact tina. the lifts to the higher
level are not being used by the public,
10 should be known that the lifts have
been closed for some time past. It may
be stated that the average time occu.
pied by the opening and closing OF
the bridge is about five minutes, while
the time formerly consumed by pedes-
trisns in using the lifts was about
three minutes, so that little time was
thus saved. AS, however, each lift ac-
commodated less than thirty persons,
the approaches were always crowded,
and as natural consequence they be-
came the rendezvous for pickpockets,
against whom complaints were fire.
quently made. The Board OF Trade
was consulted in the matter and ap-
proved Of the closing OF the lifts
London City Press.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09

No man ever thinks he has attained
his proper position in the world until
he is able TO look down on somebody.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09

To Los Angeles ana Southern California
Every Friday night, at 1926 p. m,
a through Tourist Car for Los Angeles
and Southern California, leaves the
Chicago, Milwaukee G. st. Paul Rail-
way Union Passenger Station, Chica go,
via Omaha, Colorado Springs and Salt
Lake City, for all points in Colorado,
Utah, Nevada and California.
in addition to the regular Pullman
porter, each car is accompanied by an
intelligent, competent and courteous
wants Il passengers en- route. This is
an entirely new feature of tourist car
service, and will be appreciated by
families OF by ladies travelling alone.
Particular attention is paid to the care
of children, who usually get weary on
a long journey.
These tourist cars are sleeping cars
supplied with all the accessories neces-
sary to make the journey comfortable
and pleasant, and the berth rate leach
berth will accommodate two persons)
is only $500 from Chicago to Cali
fornia. Ask the nearest ticket agent
for a tourist car folder, or address
Geo. H. Heafford, General Pass. and
Ticket Agent, Chicago. Ill.
Thanks chiefly to the use of the
serum treatment, the mortality in
Prussia from diphtheria has been re-
duced from a rate of 1876 per 10000 in
the years 1SS5-1S94, to 7.6 and 7.2 in
the years 1896 and 1897.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09
THE GRIP CURE THAT DOES CURF

True friendship should be highly
priced possession.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09

Piso's Cure for Consumption IL the only
cough medicine used in my housed q.
4 Upright, Mitl injury, Pa, Dec. II, ph
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09

Strangers this town healthy? Dc
many people die here?
Real Estate Agent-No. sir.
Stranger-But l saw funeral here
yesterday.
Real Estate Agent-Oh. that was an
undertaken who killed himself because
he couldn't make a living.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09

The cheerful live longest in years
and afterward in our regards.-Bovee
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09
Pills are the best.

Life is not SO short but that there !,
always time enough for courtesy
Emerson.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09

Liberal religious literature sent FREE
on application to Mrs. II. d. Reed, 1872
n. 3Sth ave-. Omaha, Neb.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09
FREE
-
COVER " M EMIT
LANDS.

There are still thousands OF acres OF gov
eminent lands IN the states Of Washington
and Oregon. also prairie and timbar lands
near niIrond and water commitment on that
can be- bought for $500 per acre: and there
are no cyclones, billiards., long winters or
real hot summers, no failure OF crops, but
always good markets.
II you wish to raise grain, principally, or
fruit, or the finest stock on earth, you can
Ind locations In these two states where YOU
can do this to perfection. II you are looking
for employment and wish TO secure steady
work AZ good wages, l can help you TO do this
have no land for sale, but II you want In
formation about this write mo at 1919 Z.
Third ST., 81. Paul, MINI. -
r. r, workman
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09
STATE or ONO, CITY OF TOLEDO,

We should appreciate the comforts
of life.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09

DOLLAR STRETCER One lady Doliar
err she found the original
method Hubirger
Book received from Red
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09

1t requires no experience to dye with
Putnam Fadeless Dyes. Simply
boiling your goods in the dye is all
that's necessary. Sold by all druggists
The engine may be built in day,
but it takes years to perfect the engi-
neer.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09
A Big FIJI

On the Deadwocd. S. D., branch Of
the Burlington Railroad is a gulch 700
feet wide, known as Sleeps Canyon.
This was crossed, until recently, by a
wooden bridge, 126 feet high, which
took over 240 600 feet of lumber in the
building. Recently this trestle was
filled in, and the great undertaking at
tracted the attention Of railroad men
all over the country. 1t took twenty
weeks to accomplish the task. 1t was
necessary to haul 2,S80,000 cubic feet
of earth one and one-half miles up a
two per cent grade and unload off the
high bridge. This required 1.486 trains
of fifteen cars each; $4,000 carloads in
all. 1t was a stupendous undertaking,
but now the bridge can't burn. and it
doesn't cost lot Of money every year
for repairs and watchers.
Customer--So you sell these watches
at 10 shlllings each. 1t must cost that
to manufacture them. Jeweler-It
does. Oustomer-Then how do you
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09

Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets removes
the cause that produces La Grippe. L. w
Groves signature is on each box. $50
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-11-09
Ask For the Best Reading.

Our deeds completely overshadow all
Of our words.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1899-09-30

fined to the TransvaaL The responsible
ity OF the British government will there
ofre be all the greater Il it should sir
up war. By insisting that the Transvaal
acknowledge British suzerainty Great
Britain cuts OF every pass road 20 9
peaceful issue. inasmuch as the return Of
the Transvaal 10 the convention % 1ssI
would be the signal Tor an internal revo-
luton"
The vosslsche Zeitung says: England
knows only might, particularly where
smaller nations are concerned She does
not recon from outraging the principles
OF a state whose reputation ranks among
the most civilized peoples and sshich may
be classed az OF the same stock az ner
own"
s.. Petersburg. Sept . Discussing the
attitude % Germany 81 regard % the
Transvaal crisis. she Rossia Gays "I- -
SIN a. open question - 20 whether EIE-
san diplomacy. or the basis o. TIE
Hague conference. may not make me ez-
pertinent of recommending tEat Great
Britain and the T-ansvssi have recourse
% q court O. ar6itrafica. In view p TIRE
hostile feeling against Great British. e
Is very possible fEat numerous volunteers
rom Europe wII 20 % TIRE al = he
Foers. az Russian volunteers aided ser
via y Great Britain attempts 90 prevent
sueh a r1oveneu. Russia. perhaps. HiI
speak q decisive ward 20
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1899-09-30

here today, the local brokers were flood
ed with orders to sell. One order was as
high as 1000 bales. The excitement was
intense, with no abatement until the ad-
vices from Liverpool denying the rumors
of the rise in prices were twice confirm
ed. One cotton merchant is said to have
bought 1000 bales at'7 IL cents on the
strength of the quotations, but the brok-
ers as a rule were cautious.
Mobile, Ala, Sept. 2s.-Mobile cotton
men were staggered by the Liverpool cot
ton reports and there was very little
trading. It is impossible to estimate at
present the amount Of sales in the in
terror upon false reports, but it thought
TO be large as the market has been bull
ish for several days and buyers would
be quick to act on such reports as came
early today.
Houston, Texas, Sept 2s.-The local
cotton men went wild today on the Liv-
erpool quotations. The brokers could not
handle the business. It is believed many
country merchants have been hard hit on
actual cotton purchased when the early
quotations were sent out, and failures
may result
Savannah, Ga, Sept. 29.-The news that
the cotton market had gone up SIS points,
created great excitement today on the
Savannah exchange. A large amount of
cotton was ordered by some operators on
the strength of the news. One man Or
dered 1920 bales and estimated his profits
at $4,000.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1899-09-30
= a - II . r Ia.
Bears the n The Kind You Have Always BOugA
'4 Of &4HZNzezz9<
PRISONERS TO BE FREE TODAY
UnIess AguinaIdn Changes His Mind
Eurfher Details From, pnrnn

Manila, Sept 29.-4:5O p. m.)-The
American authorities are arranging the
details of the delivery Of the American
prisoners at Angeles tonight or tomorrow.
A Filipino general an aide de camp and
secretary will accompany them to Manila
The insurgents have been instructed that
they may send a representative to confer
with Major Otis. The regiments are rest
ing at Porac.
SIP p. m.-General MacArthur's COM
mand has returned to Angeles, where
Generals Macarthur, Wheaton and
Wheeler have established their headquar-
tiers with 5000 troops. It is expected they
viii remain there until general advance
is ordered. There are no troops at Porac.
Nine Americans were wounded in yester-
days fighting, two probably fatally It is
estimated that fifty insurgents were killed
or wounded. The American prisoners are
expected here tomorrow, unless yester-
days whipping changed Aguinaldo's
mind. The Spanish commissioners who re-
Gently spent a month at Tarlac arrived at
Angeles today. They will proceed to the
Filipino lines. The commissioners say
they are confident they will arrange for
the liberation of all the Spanish prison.
ers. Lieutenant Rowland, of General
Wheaton's staff, Aas visited the inner
line Of Filipino outposts, presumably to
notify them that the Spanish commission
ers were coming. He met with a friendly
reception.
Washington, Sept. 29-GeneraI Otis to-
day eabled the following report of the
nj op II
Calumpit and San Fernando. where con-
centration taking place, ordered to cover
country Mexico, Guaga. Bacolor and San
ia Rita Macarthur ordered to take his
troops and clear country west and in
vicinity Of Porac, which he did yesterday,
advancing on Porac at an early hour with
Ninth infantry and Thirty-sixth volun-
teers. capturing Porac and driving enemy
north. Wheaton at Angees kept back en-
envy on his north and moved force west
ward to interrupt Porac insurgents, but
they retreated by mountain roads. Re-
suits, clearing the country preparatory TO
future operation. Our casualties at Porac
five wounded. Wheaton does not report
any casualties. Captured one officer and
several enlisted men, some twenty of the
enemy killed, number wounded unknown"
Manila, Sept 29.-9:35 a. m.-Generals
Otis and Schwan and possibly Generals
Lawton and Bates will proceed to Angeles
today. where they may confer with Fill
Pine commissioners as the result of an
exchange of communications between
General Macarthur and the insurgents
y Filipino general is expected with the
American prisoners today. Two recon
roitering parties came into collision with
the insurgents near linus and four Amer
leans were wounded.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1899-09-30
Beers CONFIDENT or VICTORY
AMI This Il AHsther Res-ss wby
Pear IL IranrahahIr

London. S~gt E-TThs Csps ToEu cerr--
s3sadeat q he Tines cabssss - Frss
state p-oclannatsos bas bssn Eazef'ss. pfo-
ssbsting TIE ex5erI - ilvea.9ek ETaia 4n1
p-svLzsona- Coi5efg ar othsr places ia
cage Co5o-y sezr tss Free state aEs
kuo~a 70 - extremely e1frstlsses- me
E-Rslsh srs 6zsly fareazsaes ard s9-s
C ihsn s-s gong esza. wzsas sss safety
+ have aceGznzlsfes eT51secs TAX :. e.
not mere streeE tsIk tsc fHst saers f.
fsgus aSs hellef aass-1 TIE Dsfoh fhsg go
Beers CIT beat Enxaaa. 4 prez.fses'
Fres Slater ssyE- We are serFT - gsaT
zelsssrs Csur earghsra wlA sax essf
iaszz H8s ssses avsr iae sesst' Ars7er
Frss Slater says. Yes zsy bae Aa
srsa cssaee psta - = Fa1 sse f
z4z. zas less 4 D1tea lazy - 80 $685.
wfsR ps-tsoa q tas ca4ezT ur3tes =
trend 'whea Faul ETsEE- aaa s*s
lhe E-z13E zea aka tas e N
se- 80 - eaaesF fsasts ~ =
= re sxsstezes - tAaf feaaes $500
zsAksz sAezz hsss kawg zse
= "a = Ia Zszs-sgA44 zs.s So ~ -
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1899-09-30
HANDS OFF ALL FOREIGNERS
Old Piet JOubert Calls a Halt on
Promiscuous Commando ering."


PromiscuOus "Comm andeerinG."
Washington, Sept 29.-The following
circular has been transmitted to the war
department by the United States consul
at Pretoria and is of interest at this time:
ITO commandants, field comets and as
sistant field comets.
Office of the Commanding General.
Pretoria, August "a, 1899.
Sire-In consequence of certain COM
plants having come to the notice OF the
government that British subjects or
Englishmen. having been commanded by
certain officers and officials or notified to
hold themselves in readiness with horse,
saddle and bride. guns and ammunition.
and that notice had been given TO mer-
chants and dealers by some officials that
their shops and places must be closed.
and also that British subjects have been
forbidden by them TO export or sell for
the purpose Of exporting, horses. etc,
have hereby the honor TO give you spe-
cial instructions, and to urgently forbid
your doing any act which might compro-
mise us and bring us into collision with
any other power.
1t must thus be understood that no
single alien, no matter what his national
ity, who does not voluntarily effer. or has
not offered. his services may be called up
on or Communicated in the event of un-
expected or undesirable disturbances of
war.
Guard against everything that can DO
harm or provoke unrest. and take care
that you do not act contrary to the terms
OF this circular. except on special instruc-
lions from the government
have the honor to be
P. J. JOUBERT,
Commandment GanaraI