New-York tribune., 1899-07-19
THE TALK OF THE DAY.


|
It is said that Professor Blackie frequently told
this anecdote on himself. The professor was
| wiry old patriarch. with handsome features ana
| hair falling in ringlets about his shoulders no one
| who had seen him could possibly forget him. one
| day he was accosted by very dirty ntte poot-
| black with his Shine your boots. srT' The pro-
fessor was impressed by the flthiness OF the boys
| face IT don't want shine. my lad said ne
| "Rut ~ vouU 20 and wash your face I'll give you
| sixpence" "a right, SIR" was the lads reply.
| Then he went TO n neghborlng fountain ana
| made his ablutions. Returning, he hed out ms
| hand for the money We'll my lad,' said the
| professor you have earned your sixpence. Here
| It is" II dinna want it," returned the boy, with
| a lordy air. "Ye keep 1t and get yer hair
| cut"
| mine has assured me that sucking lemons will pre-
vent sickness. IL that trueY' ..
Yes provided you sit In the shade OF tall tree
while you suck the MISUNDERSTANDING and Cath-
oc Times.
| A resident of Philadelphia has contributed to
"The Record of that city the subjolned interesting
gossip apropos Of the kissing bug: THE domestic
remedy for the attack of the kissing bug is bi-
carbonate of soda diluted with water simple
! appllcaton of this remedy will remove the swelling
| and the pain In short order To prevent mid
| night attacks of the bug 1t is only necessary 10
| put a few drops OF oil of rhodum on the bed quit
The insect will at once nght upon this spot anu
| will sniff away until motionless In the steep oi
| aromatic intoxicatlon"
They Have Too Many Already.-Colorado people
| should nut a guard around the golden girl which
they propose to send the Paris Exposition. Some
| impecunous foreign nobleman Is likely TO carry
| her of.-(Omaha Bee.
Richard Humphries who was appointed parish
clerk OF Littemore by Or. Newman, died about
two weeks ago in his eighty-fourth year. DR.. New
man was very fond of his parish clerk and taught
him to play the violin. Humphries once went to
see the doctor at the Oratory, Birmingham, and
| was told that he could not see him. Tell him
that Richard from Littlemore has come to ask how
he is" "I hadn't to wait long" continued the old
man. 'I knew his step: he never waited even to
put on his boots but along in his slippers and
said Come In and tell me all about my dear peo-
ple" Richard went in and dined with the Cardinal
| and other members Of the Oratory.
Blasted.-"Yes his business reputation is blasted"
How did IT happen? .,
He dropped can Of his new new process dynamite
NO it didn't go or!'-(Cieveland Plain Dealer.
chony sprang into the saddle. pressed a foot upon
Then the cycle hit the curbstone with loud re-
sounding crash: s,u.,u .a cno,, mn,
From the tire the air went Kissing and Choiy now
is missing,
From downtown ribbon counter. where he used
-(Chcago News.
Once when John Van Buren, son Of President
Van Buren, was making a speech In behalf of his
father. old Democrat rose in the audience and
upbraided him bolter. Few men were more ef-
fectve the stump quicker at repartee than
John, and he replied to the charge with an anee-
dote something like this: "One day a man on
horseback came up with a boy who was contending
with an overturned load of hay. Instead OF toss
ing the hay back in the wagon the boy was ener-
getcally tossing 1t hither and thther, regardless
Of where it landed. The traveller halted and said:
hv do uOr
this hot weather? Why do you not toss the hay
back in the wagon and be more deliberate In your
labors? The boy stopped wiped the streaming
perspiration off his face on his shirt sleeve. and,
pointing TO the pile Of hay on the roadside. ex-
claimed: Stranger, dads under thar and then he
set about work furlousy than ever"
Tipp-Harris is a funny fellow; he cut up. quite
nasty when told him Of the addition to my family
this morning;
TipTp-Yes thought, as he had so many children
of his OWL that he wGIIa pe s'ad 10 near oi IT,
Tipp-What do you mean! o.. .o,, snor %
hm.-Pick-Me-Up'
His Latest Book.-Bgsby-what are you writing
Higsby-A book the art Of boxing r, ~.
troit Free Press.
One Thing Lackng-The Inventor-I wonder IL
you could be induced to back an automatic fishing
The CapItalist--when you get an automatic phon-
ographic lying attachment perfected. III talk to
you about it.Qndanapolis Journal.
colored woman in Independence. Kan. whose
house was burned presumably by an incendiary.
was witness in the trial of the woman suspected
Of starting the fire. On being questioned, she said
she was sleeping in the house when the fire oc-
Cured, woke up. and went to sleep again. although
she knew the house was in flames. Her account Of
Il was this: ~ Jest riz up, smelt de coal OIL saw
de light heerd 'em packn out de goods but
. thaI MIA nan rfppen
in around de corner wild de bell jnglin, an knew
/ was dat safe jes' went to sleep
His vacatlon.-"what do you intend to do for a
vacation this summer 80 . ~
Send my wife and family out Of the city."(Ch-
cago Post.
Candidates for office in Lebanon County Penn
have distinctive ways of advertising themselves
and their claims. For instance. George NJ Strock
adds 10 the notice of his candidacy for Recorder
this appeal: please vote for tho old farmer and
workingman." Franklin T. Miller submits this
brief biography: Disabled veteran; served during
the War Of the Rebellion in the 93d Pennsylvania
Regiment, from Washington to Richmond was
seriously and permanently wounded in the battle
OF Salem Heights, Va" Peter Haner also refers |
to his war record thus: Corporal OF Company A. |
9sd Pennsylvania Volunteers; left with the regiment
from Camp Coleman. and served with 1t until dis |
abled; was engaged In a number Of hard fought |
battles"
Best.-"Married yet. old man?'
mo. but I'm engaged. and that's as good as
married"
TITS better. II you only knew it"(Boston Trav- |
eer.