The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1899-12-08

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Of assuming on the least provocatlon.
Their eyes NIT. and instantly the
Wheeling man, who will be known as
Mr.. W because that isn't his name.
determined to have fun with the fun
loving Jake.
"Why, how do you do, Mr.. W;
how are all the folks down in West
vlrginia?"
Excuse me, sir" responded Mr..
W. ana by his manner conveying his
belief that Jacobwas one Of New York's
bad men. "You are mistaken; am
Mr.. Thompson, from Atlanta Never
was in West Virginia in my life"
Those of Jake's friends who
never Witnessed him in state OF dis
comhture and collapse. would have
given a wheel or two had they been
present when this interesting climax
came. He gazed at Mr.. w in a be-
wildered way for half minute. MUIR
INJURED. Surely 1t isn't possible" then
begged the gentleman's pardon pro-
fusely, turned on his heel abruptly, and
started for-the cloak room. we will
say. Mr.. We enjoyed the joke silent
ly for minute. and then started after
Jacob on tour OF enlightenment
"Hullo. jake. he said, as he came up
with that down-hearted individual just
as he was enterlng-the cloak room.
Jacob turned, took in the situation at
a gIance-and then there was an ex-
ploslon. but 1t was a good-natured one.
and Jake enjoyed the denouement fully
as much as the man from Wheeling.
Mr.. Kemple, in addition to being an
official Of the immigration bureau at
New York, is an excellent story TELLER
and a very effective campaIgner. In
recent years he has campaigned in York
and Jersey, and he is always heralded
in big black type as "The Hon. Jacob
Remple, West vlrginia's silver tongued
orator" During the campaign of ss,
Jacob walked into the late Vice PresI-
dent Hobast's office at Republican ma
tlonal headquarters in New York. fresh
from successful trip up state"
Here, Kemple, want you to go over
into Jersey for few speeches" said
the future vice president. you will
encounteS many Interruptions during
your meetings, but believe you know
how to take care of yourself. Your
first date is tomorrow night, at p"
naming a little town down Long Branch
way.
Kemple arrived at the place dGslg-
mated on scheduled time and the meet
ing was corker. All the Republicans
and most o. the Democrats of the VII
Iage were assembled under the speak-
ers eye.
Jake began his speech something like
this:
Ladies and gentlemen. the Republi-
can party stands for honest money Our
money must have intrinsic value. 1t
must have value besides the stamp Of
the United States mint. 1t must"
Here a long whIskered fellow right
up in the front row got in with Inter-
ruption No. /. He said:
DO you mean to say Mr.. Kemple,
that II the United States government
was to put Its dollar stamp on a piece
Of leather or a piece Of tin, thnt 1t
wouldn't pass for a dollar?"
Now this is proposition which nine
speakers out Of ten would have re-
quIred half an hour to demollsh, and
then, very likely, half of the audience
would have been no wiser than they
were at the start.
Jake's mind works at lightning
speed in these little emergencies, and 1t
didn't fail him on this occasion. Here
is what he said:
my venerable friend, suppose the
United States government were
to take rubber stamp and stamp the
word hay OIL your whlskers; do you
believe there Is any donkey In these
United States that would be fool enough
to eat your whlskers and think they
were hay?'
OF course the crowd howled; and 1t
wasn't a partisan neutrality-suspicious.
and Democrats alike enjoyed this very
effective demonstration of the noble art
of repartee. The bewhISkered JerseyIte
made the best OF his way out OF the
crowd and Jake had 1t all his own way
during the rest of his speech. After 1t
was over. scores Of men came up and
congratulated him. One Democrat said,
That fellow is squelched for good now;
he's been nuisance for twenty years"
During the same campaign, however,
Jake ran up against more than he could
negotiate successfully. Down on the
North river front in New York City the
Republican committeeman had been un-
able to conduct meetings that were not
broken up by longshoremen, who are
not noted for qualities of good citizen
ship at any stage OF the game. Jake's
exploit over in Jersey became known Mt
headquarters, and he was given few
meetings among the longshoremen.
But one was enough for him.
The meeting was held on one of the
docks, and Jake began speaking from a
big delivery truck. Soon he was being
interrupted from all sides and missiles
OF delightful odor were beginning to Ivy
in not altogether almless way
Finally Jake said; "Gentlemen, you