The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-12-03

This man Dewey began Mr. Doc
ley.
81 thought he was ye'er Cousin
George" Mr.. Hennessy interrupted
II thought he was said Mr.. Dooley.
but on 1ookin' closer at his features an
r-readin' what tn pa-apers says about
him, I'm convinced that 1 was wrong
Oh, he may be sicond cousin Nv me
Aunt Judy. I'll not say he amt There
was a poor lot, all iv thin But 1 have
no close rilitives in this country It's
a way I have iv savin' a little money.
I'm like tn good an grateful American
people. TIL further ye stay away firm
thin tn more they like ye. Sicond-C Ous-
in-IYMe-Aunt-Judy George made a mis-
take comm home, or If he did come
home he ought We Investigated his well
come an see that it wasn't mined. A
man cud stand up all day an lave
Packy Mounttoy whale away at him. but
tn affection iv tn American people is
always aimed thrue an is invariably
fatal.
"Th la-ad Dougherty was in today,
an he EXPRESSED tn feelin's iv this CRATE
full raypublic. He says, says he: This
fellow Dewey amt what 1 thought he
was, he says. L thought he was a good.
broad, libral man, an it turns out he's
a cheap skate he says. We made too
much fuss over him. he says. To think
he says, iv him takin' tn house we give
him an tur-rnin' it over to his wife he
says IT'S scandIous,' he says. now
much did We conthribute?' says 1. i
didn't give anything, he says. TIL col
Iector didn't come around. an I'm glad
now I hung on to me COIN, he says.
Well says I, I appreciate ye'er feel
ms I says. 'Ye agree with tn other
subscribers I says, but I've med up
me mind not to lave annywan talk to me
about Dewey 1 says, unless L says,
he has subscribed tn maximum amount
! iv tn subscription I says, SO cirts.' l
says. so I'll thank ye to dp-toe out L
says, 'befure l give We correct imita-
ton iv Dewey an Mountjoy at tn battle
/ iv Manila l says. An he wint away.
"Th' throuble with Dewey is he was so
| long away he lost his understanding iv
| TIL thrue feelin' " tn American people,
| George r-read tn newspapers, an he says
to himself: Be hivins, they think well
/ iv what I done. guess I'll put a shirt in
me thrunk an go home, f'r to see It's hot
| out here, an ivrybody'H be glad FIR to
see me- he says. An he came along, an
! New York was r-ready f'r him. TIL bust
ness in neckties had been poor that sum-
! mer, an they was necessity FIR pullin
| it together, an they give George a wei
| come an invited his admirers firm tn
| country to come in an buy something
| f'r tn little vans at home. An he ERODE
! up Fifth avenue between smilin rows iv
! hotels an dhrug stores, an tin-dollar
| boxes an 5O-cint seats, an he says to
! hin3silf: Holy smoke, If Aguinaldo cud
| on'y see me now An he was proud an
| happy, an he says: 'Raypublics ARE
not always ungrateful.' An they amt
| On'y whin they give ye much gratichood
! ye want to freeze some Nv it or it won't
keep.
It's unsafe FIR amy man alive to re-
| ceive tn kind wurruds that ought to be
| said only iv tn dead. As long as George
was a Autograph iv himsilf in a saloon
! window he was all fright. Whin people
saw he cud set in city hall hack with
| out flowers CROWN in it an they cud
! look at him without smoked glasses they
! begin to weaken in their devotion
| IWud We been TIL same almost if he'd
married Presbyterian an hadn't deed-
/ ed his house to his wife Dewey don't
| look much like hero says wan man. He
| amt a hero says another Why. amy
/ body cudve done what he did / got an
J S-year-old boy an if he cudden't take
a baseball club an go in an bate that
| Spanish feet into junk in tHinty mfnyits
| - call him Alger an thrade him off
| fr bicycle he says. 4 guess that's
r-raght. They say he was purity tough