The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-05-04
NEVADA.


die Doctor-Im doing my best for
you.-Boston Courier.
You say he died from single blow
administered by himself:' Yes he
blew out the gasr'-Puck.
acaptain. the new recruit Is hne
fencer. rs he? Put him on picket
duty. "-Cleyeland Plain Dealer.
why 10 you say he's good match
for that grass willow because he
a rake. Philadelphia Bulletin.
Il had a narrow escape In my house
the other night" How sof7 My
wife SHOT at some burglars. Life.
-Judge-why did you steal this gen
tleman's purse? Prisoner thought
the change might do me good.-iit-
Bits.
So your engagement To the lsafay-
cite avenue milllonaire's daughter Is
IN. ehf" "Yes; I've been mustered
1ut"-Jldge.
Il don't believe in being affable TO IN
feriors.Y You don't: Just think how
lonely you would be II everybody felt
that way Truth.
He-"The American people made
saint OF that Spanish Admiral cerNera,
don't you think sot" She-"Nes; they
cannonlzed him at Santiago. '-Ex.
Mrs. Sweet-Isnt II strange that
Harry will never permit Edith to open
must be another girl in the case.-Jew-
elers' Weekly.
Negatlye-How do you know he Is
dishonest? observation-disclosures? Why,
/ once saw him playing at solitaire, aud
he couldn't play the game without
cheating.-Journal.
This is the bill from your oculist,'
said the collector TO Mr.. Grimly. Just
take it back, and tell him that | can't
read 1t with those glasses he sold me.
Detroit Free Press.
Waggles-He expects business 10
pick up as soon AS the war Is over
Jaggles = What business is he in?
Waggles Manufacturing bicycles for
one-legged men.-Judge.
Starboarder- Who is making all that
nolse:9 Mrs Hashly-'.Its the Rev. l..
O. Cutor rehearsing his sermon for to-
morrow" Starboarder-"Oh, | see.
Practicing what he breaches. Town
Topics.
"Halloa. old man, have any luck
shootlng:' Il should say did. Shot
seventeen ducks in one day" Were
they wlldT "Well-no-not exactly,
but the farmer who owned them was"
-TIt-Bits.
Boarder (warmlyl-Oh. I'm knowing
TO the tricks of your trade. Do you
think l have lived in boarding houses
for twenty years for nothing Land
lady (frlgidly)-I shouldn't he at all
surprised. journal.
Mrs. Slimdiet-I can't see what Mr..
Bullion wanted to marry that shabby
widow for, anyhow. She Isn't young,
and isn't pretty, and he New
Boarder-You just ought TO see how
thick she makes her pumpkin pies.
Brides father Ito his prospective SON
in-law, young lawyer)-rm not going
TO give my daughter a cash dowry, but
/ have some doubtful claims for $4,000
that | Will make over to you, and you
can sue on them.-Fllegende Blaetter.
Dolly-"Papa, do they get salt out OF
Salt LakeY' Papa-"Yes, my dear,
large quantities" Dolly-"And ink out
Of the Black Scar Papa-"No; now
keep quiet" Dolly-"Yes, sir-are there
any women on the Isle OF MANI
Truth.
Judge-"If you were at the club dur
ing the trouble, tell what you saw"
Witness Ia colored waiter)-"Well, sab,
de cha imam OBJ de entertainment COM
mittee jes' swatted de secretary obah
he head VIII de loyln' up."-The jew
eller's Weekly.
Magistrate Ito prlsoner)-"You say,
Uncle 'Rastus, that you took the ham
because you are out Of work and your
family are starving. And yet | under
stand you have four dogs about the
house" Uncle 'Rastus-"Yes, sab; but
/ wuddent arsk my family to eat dogs
30 honah!"-New York Sun.
Miss D-Angelica. why don't you
marry Lieutenant y? Miss A
First, because he has no brains, and
he can't ride, dance, or play tennis.
What could we do with him? Miss D.
But he swims beautifully. Miss A
Oh, yes; but one can't keep ones hns-
band in an aquarium, you know.-Tit-
Bits.
Dobson--I say, old chap, what Is the
difference between Russell Sage and
Tom Sharkey? Hobson-fm dished
II know, my boy. | always thought
they were alike as two peas. Dobson
Then let me correct you-Russell
Sage makes his money hand over fist,
while Sharkey makes his fist hand
over money.-Judge.
Mr.. Isaac-"Niine cootness. It's nc
wonder de young people don't learn
holdings nowadays. Here's a glarine
error on der very first page on youl
new grammar" Jakey Isaacs-"NOt Il
dot error, fadder:' Mr.. lsaacs-"Vy
II saws 10 analyze dis sentence: Young
folks VIII succeed In life IL dcy neffei
give up Dey'ye left out a cent -
Judge.
The boy was crying bitterly. whats
wrong. my SOM the kind-hearted man
asked. Il didn't m-mow the lawn
when pa told me to-" "Ah! And he
.,uniahad Won then. did hei" "\-no
not lust then. He said he would
wouldn't have no Insurgents around
tho nla-Dlace." And you are weep.