Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1899-08-24

I
who had attacked the hero of Tippe-
canoe, that in a day or two afterward
John Quincy Adams referred to him in
| debate as s-the late General crary of
Michigan" Corwin's humor actually
ended the mans political career.
Knott. by his Duluth speech, stunted
''the Zenith City Of the Unsalted Seas
for 20 years and won him a fame com
mensurate with the English speaking
world. Yet Corwin said in his old
age. addressing law school class.
Young men, if you desire a reputa-
ton for wisdom never joke Be as
solemn as an ass" And Knott declar-
ed after his Duluth and Pennsylvania
avenue speecnes that he could never
induce congress to take him serio~s-
| ly and that those two star perform
ances as humorist wrecked his rel,
| utatlon as a lawyer though he was
| subsequently chairman of the judiciary
committee, the ne plus ultra of posi-
tions for lawyer in the house My
own opinion is that the fame which
the genial ex-attorney general of Mis-
souri, and ey ygoyernor of Kentucky
won as a huiaorist richly compensated
him for all the reputation he lost as a
lawyer
Sad News From sIississippi.
And now the doleful news comes
from Mississippi that John Allen has
ceased to jest. That would be a dis
tinct loss to the country. There will
always be more than Il suffieiency of
mental dyspeptics and statesmen who
suffer from enlargement of the liver
and who make others suffer, but CON
gresham such as John Allen is a rara
avis May his tribe Increase
| 1t is said that Mark Twain bankers
after seat in congress. In that role
he would unquestionably contribute to
the gayety of nations. To see this
ex-A Aissourian of opulent buoyancy
representing the land of wooden nut
megs and wooden hams might not ac-
cord exactly with the eternal fitness
of things. but there are worse mistits
in the house than Mark would be.
| John Allen. like many another hui
morist, Abraham Lincoln for instance,
has countenance of preternaturaI
gravity and solemnity which greatly
heightens the effect of his humorous
utterances. OF medium height and
weight. he has the swart complexion,
the dark hair and eyes characteristic
of the denizens of the semitropics.
| Allen is neither a buffoon nor a
oil
color about his humor 1t is as pure.
sparkling and refreshing as a noun
tain brook. The quality of his humor,
like that of mercy. is not strained; It
1 drOppeth as the gentle rain from
heaven upon the place beneath; it is
/ twice blessed-it blesseth him that
| gives and him that takes
To use simile borrowed from my
brilliant friend DR.. Willis P. King of
Sedalia, Mo-. Johns humor bubbles up
as naturally as the altar of roses deyel-
ops in an otter
Some people assert dogmatically that
humor never pays in politics. Let all
such gaze on the Mississippian and be
undeceived. How do yOn suppose he
broke into congress in the first place
He joked himself in. He was run
ming against the sitting member, an
ex-Conf, derate general of capacity and
renown. They had what the newspa-
pers were pleased to dignity as "a
/ joint discussion. The general led off
with a hair raising. heartrending pic
4 ture of the hartlships of his army life
in general and some awfully cold night
in the Tennessee mountains in particr-
lar. Private John went back at him
something in this wise.
yes. fellow citizens, | remember
well the hardshipS of army life. l re-
member well with painful dfstinetness
the sufferings of the extremely cold
night of which the general speaks so
el0quently and pathetically. and what
fixed the horrors of that night forever
in my memory is the fact that reeol.
lect that the general slept soundIy,
snugly tucked in his tent. while |. as a
private soldier, was nearly frozen to
death mounting guard in front of the
generals tent Now | have fair
1 proposition to make: All you fellows
who were generals vote for him. and
all who Were privates vote for me- .
The audience was delirious with de-
light, took John at his word, sent him
to Washington and have kept him
there about II years.
where HumOr Paid.
Joking never pays, doesn't it? And
humorists have no influence in con
gress. haven't they? Mark how plain
a tale will put the solemncholists
down. / had the ocular proof of John
J Aliens prowess. Here is what l saw
him do: saw him in ten minutes joke
the house into such heavenly frame
of mind that. with only two or three
dissenting votes, and those very feeble
and choking with merriment, it voted
70 give 23.040 acres of land to endow
A female school in Mississippi Judge
1 Culherson said In private that it was
worth a quarter of a million dollars
but the Judge sfssok his fat sideS with
glee and voted for Johns school. |
shall never forget sentence or two
of that speech, and they are samples of
the whole performance.
''Gentlelnen," said the great and only
John, this school is kept up for the
benefit of set of the loyeIiest female
girls that the world ever saw" The
peroration was particularly good and
has in it the flavor of an exhortation
at an old fashioned camp meeting,
where the pioneer circuit rider used to
make his audience imagine that they
could hear the ancient literal brim-
stone hell seething and bubbiing Here
it Is:
.'Ar. Speaker. this city has been en-
tertained for the last week or two by
| the Woman's Council, composed Of wo-
men earnestly striving for the proper
recognition of their sex. and | do not
believe there IS member of this house
who is base enough to say No to this
proposition II such there be, let him
go out from here scorned by women.
Stunned by men and lashed by his own
conscience. Gentlemen, this congress
is about to expire Many of you are
about to retire from public life. Some
of ron are a little short ON meritori0us
deeds here. | give you this chance to
do this gracious thing and to crown
your careers with vote in favor of
this proposition. which VIII make you
not only proud of yourselves. but earn
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