davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The citizen., 1899-05-05
CHEAP PAINT.
rhe Kird That Soon Fades and
Rubs Off.
Good Paint That should Re Put On
from the Inside, Instead of from
the Outside.

the Outside.
fou can make very cheap paint by
using an ordinary whitcwash. 1t will
cling to the house and barns Just as
well as it does to the upper walls of
your rooms. To be sure it does not
asst very long and it rubs off. Per-
hapS yuu have sScn young girls, and
som" NOT quite SO young. try the trick
of putting the color of health on their
checks by using some red powder or
paste. But it does not last long and it
ruhS off. Vet we can hardly blame
them, for who does not like to see the
rosy color of robust health, and who is
not panied at the sight of the white
lips and colurlcSS checks? We advise
all girls. whether old or young, to
>alnt their checks if they are pale.
int he sure to paint them with some
hing which win last and will not rub
OFT. Put the paint on from the inside,
not from the outside.
The elements which give color to tho
blood are minute bodies, called the
red blood corpuscles. If there is not
enough of these in your blood. then YOU
are pale, weak, without appetite, prob
ably thin in flesh and quite nervous
In fact, everything seems to go wrong
in the body when there is a deficiency
in these life-giving red blood cor
puscles. An abundance of these little
bodies make rich blood. red blood
The circulation is improved and the
bright tinge of color comes again to
the lips and checks.
You have only to consult medical
works to learn that cod-liver oil is one
of the best remedies known to increase
the number of these red corpusclcs of
.he blood. Eminent medical writers
declare that this is one of the most
marked features of cod-liver oil. We
prefer to recommend to you the oil
after 1t has been broken up into mi
mute particles, as in SCOTS Emulsion
Of Cod-livcr Oil with the Hypophos-
phites. The stomach bears it better
in this form, and it makes the oil very
palatable also. The hypophosphites
are added because the nervous system
heeus tome, something to build 1t
up on "A permanent basis. If you are
pale, do not get much benefit from
your food, mentally and physically
unable to work, simply dragging along
day after day, take Scott's Emulsion.
1t puts color on the cheeks. 1t is
color that comes to stay, and you can.
not rub it off
SCOTS Emulsion has been indorsed
by the medical profession for twenty
years. Ask Your doctor. Because il
is always paIatable-always uniform
always contains the purest Norwegian
Cod-liver oil and Hypophosphites
Insist on Srotts Emulsion with trade
mark of man and fish. Put up in soc
and S1.0o sizes. The small size may be
enough to cure your cough or hslp
your baby.
The citizen., 1899-05-05

well. Mrs Jones'" said the Good
Lady as she let her eyes run over the
room to see if she could identify amy
thing; Il understand that your huS-
band attended revival meeting the
other night and was SO impressed by
the error Of his ways that he re
formcd?'
That's right. asscntcd the burglars
wife. We've laid enough by to live
on and Jim thought it best 10 stop
81 suppose. of course. that you're
very happy over your husbands re-
formation?"
NO, | can't say that | ann! ! know
I'm gon' to miss havin' him tell me all
what the ncighbors have in their
houses"
The citizen., 1899-05-05

There was a wicked lccr in Mend
ring Mikes eye a, he saw the little
;irl coming out of the restaurant side
loor, carrying a small tin pail
The idea. he exclaimed to his com
ade "of Encouraging sich luXuries in
lie young.
Its our duty to stop it," was the
ejoinder.
Before the little girl could turn the
orncr the tramp loomed up before her
nd exclaimed.
I'm sorry, lady. but couldn't see We
arryin' dat pail any furder. It's agin
le gallantry."
The little girl began to cry. Mike
eiZcd the bucket and in moment had
he bottom OF it pointed toward the
blue sky. The effect was volcanic.
roam flew in all directions. His one
Ejaculation solved the mystery:
Soap sudS.'
And when the restaurant proprietor
anne out and desired to know why his
hildrcn could not blow soap bubbles
Without being intcrfcred with, the
'ictim of poetic justice had not Il word
say.
The citizen., 1899-05-05
All He tr. we'd

The proprietor of The restaurant had
ust issued new advertisement, in
ended to call atter;ion to reduction
n rates. After quoting the prices of
arious articles to c2nclusively demon
trate the fact that everything was
heap, he added at the bottom of the
advertisements: Bread, butter and
iotatOeS free.
He knows better now. If he had it
do over again he would word it
title differently. and all because
olemn-looking man came in one day,
nd, after taking his place at a table,
Ointed to the advertisement and ask
d:
'Is that on the square"
"Certainly," replied the waiter.
"Then give me some bread, butter
nd potatoes" said the man.
Eyes. sir. What else| asked the
Vaiter.
Nothing else" replied the man.
That's all that's free, isn't it?"
The citizen., 1899-05-05
SHE HAD BEEN THERE.
Something of the Way She Had Of Meet
ing Agents.

This man, who came up from the
bottom of the ladder and now owns the
majority of stock in big piano fac
tory, can afford To tell jokes on him.
self and enjoys them just as heartily
as though some one else were the
victim.
Il first began on organs. he relates, -
'on very small scale and with a
very small amount of capital My first
trip was to ..ichgan, and out in Van
Buren, county | had an experience.
Walking from farm to farm. met a
jolly young fellow of whom | made
inquiry as To where | would be msSt
likely TO make Il sale. He seemed to
he Immensely tickied over something
at the time, but had no suspicion that
| was mixed up in the reason for his
mirth and hurried on To the house of
a Scotch widow. where he said would
he sure to do business
Now, had no way of knowing that
the widow had been taken in by Il pro
fcSScd organ seller who secured her
name to a note that was represented rs
n contract, or that She was Il sworn
enemy to all travelling agents because
of her loss. She was Il biz woman
with 4 strong face and her eyes grew
fierce as | SEATED my business.
Mon she exclaimed. did onyhody
see We come in?
No one, | answered, in Il puzzled
way.
That's wccl, for naebody will see
ye gang oo,. l.aSsie, hand me the aN.'
AS the grl hurried in with the
murdcrous weapon | found the luSty
widow between me and the door. her
face as solemn and determined as that
II an cNccutioncr. | don't know what
She would have done. but | do know
that | TOOK Il header through an open
window ana struck out croSs-lots for
the depot"
The citizen., 1899-05-05

A steeplejack wmo was engaged in
epairing "A tall chimney at some works
Devon slipped and fell distance of
ONE thirty-tive feet. Fortunately, he
lighted on some soft sand, and,
hough stunned and badly shaken, no
ones We're broken. After water had
cen dashed on his face he recovered
OnSciouSneSS.
The manager, who stood by, having
'een summoned t. the scene, put
lass of water to h lips, saying:
Here, Bill, drink this, and you'll
eel better"
The injured ma! raised his head
eebly and, gazing first at the glass
nd then at the hi.n scaffolding from
Ehich he had fall, n, remarked in a
Veak voice:
What l should e to know is, 'ow
ar man have 6 to fall in these
lessed works afo.4 they gives him
randy?'
The citizen., 1899-05-05

Blizzard Bill went up to the new
arson's house with an unpleasant cr-
and in view. lie meant to run him
mt of town.
Three hours later he met Ginger Joe.
Ginger looked him over
"Grizzly or Dynamite?" he softly in
uired.
Bill looked at Ginger through his
alf shut eyes.
you're derned pretty sort o.
riend. you are" he hoarscly growled
Why in merry thunder didn't you tell
ne tn parson was an army chaplain"
The citizen., 1899-05-05
Money IN THE BUSINESS.
tanner in Which the Old Man Got tho
Best of the Magician,

DO0N -
"A number of years ago l made a
trip through the West" said the
Ieight-of-hand performer. 'It Wasnot
That you may call :, startling financial
uccess, but l managed to reach South
rn California before | was stranded
ut was l-ere that | suddenly awoke
q the fact that tive-dollar gold piece
yas my entire capital, with the next
own a good many miles ahead of me.
"There was but one thing to do, and
hat was to walk, as | knew the little
money l lad would be needed when l
.rrived for necessary expenses, and
,ouldn't afford to waste it on car fare.
ut wasn't as bad Il proposition as it
lad looked on the face; the roads were
good shape, and the air cool and
,risp, and it was in the midst of the
)range- picking season.
"If the town ahead hadn't been so
ar | might have enjoyed the tramp,
nut as it was l found myself growing
ired, and | Stopped for a rest where an
Id man was engaged in picking his
range crop.
"He was sociable old chap, and evil
pully thOuShI NdS lOOhllS uEOuuu
n IN orange orchard, and | didn at
empt to undeceive him, for found his
ranges delicious. and as it was grow
NJ near meal time | nat. high hopes
hat he might ask me to dine with him.
Ie kept remarking that there was
money in oranges and l finally con-
luded to have Il tie sport with him.
"Palming my sole remaining gold
iece reached for an orange anu slow
cut it ii halves with my knife
With an exclamation of surprise l pre-
ended to pull the coin from the
range. while the old mans eyes fairly
Lng out of his head as l did so.
He reached for the coin, bit it, rang
t, and then dropped the coin in his
rocket saying as he did so:
'Wul, by gum! l always said that
har wuz money in oranges, an now
kin prove it.
~ gave a gasp when l saw my last
ent 90 into the old mans pocket, and
tried to explain e situation to him,
aying it was only joke.
"But the old man wouldn't have 1t
hat way. He said saw me take the
DIN from the orange, and that the
range belonged to him, hence any
hing that may be found in it was his,
90.
He was larger man than l, and so
e wouldn't listen to reason, and l had
pace sadly on.
81 hired out at ne next ranch to pick
ruit until could g. money enough to
ay my fare home"
The citizen., 1899-05-05
AN OLD SUBSCRIBER.
80 Wonder the Editor Was stunned with
Surprise.

Surprise.
The country journalist, having con-
GUIDED his work of devil printer, book
keeper job printer, reporter, editor,
press hand, mailing clerk, solicitor,
compoSitor, and ad solicitor for the
lay had sat down TO study out what
string to pull to get enough money to
meet note of $14.3S coming due next
saturday, Wnen a man he did not know
came into the OIL e and sat down
without being asked to do so. For
minute he looked around the place and
1t the presiding spirit of it before he
spoke.
You are" he sai. slowly, the pro-
lrietor of this establishment, and it
S Il newspaper otlicc:"
1T is replied the wondering editor.
And this is your product?" he said,
holding up the week S issue. "A news
)aperI"
"Ics."
"The herald of a noisy world?" said
he visitor dreamily.
YES"
The million-fold multiple of
nought?"
"lCS."
The hasty record of the worlds
lffairs.
'l cS."
The molder of public opinion?"
"Ncs," said the journalist, looking
worried.
Mans daily doings done in ink?"
"NcS."
"'rhc richest treasures of the art
reservative of artsY
Yes"
THE Archimedean lever that moves
he universc:'
Yes" and by this time the editor
vas getting ready to escape 10y the
window.
And all for a dollar year" said
he visitor. still in that dreamy tone,
is he let his soft blue eye fall over the
)agc. Its Il dWm shame" he went
IN, going u0Wn into his pocket, heres
,wo dollars, and I'll send you in cord
If wood and Il buShcl of apples and
our gallons of cider next week"
Phcn he got up and went out without
o much as saying good by" and the
'ditor gazed stupidity 1T the two-dol-
ar bill on his knee.
The citizen., 1899-05-05
The ,tIIinnerV lend.
Can you obligc me with a sheet Of
)epnr1"

Can you oblige me with sheet of
oaper?"
"Yes."
"And an envelopeT
"Yes."
''And postage stamp?'
''No, but here's = cents"
"Thank you, that will do just as
we'll"
Don't you want me to bring you
etter bOX|
I'm afraid it will be too much
rouble."
Not at all. If you'll wait around
nere half a minute I'll call up the
postal department at Washington.
MAY | ask what for?'
'Tm going to request them to put
he postofiice on wheels and have it
'ollow you around"
"How kind I'm afraid this pack
age is a little heavy for one stamp.
.-dVpn't yu,. cents mOreE'
The citizen., 1899-05-05
Johns Bntter-Making ChiIls.

81 notice there's a good deal of ague
n this part of the country" said the
tourist, who had stopped at the farm
louse for a drink of water That's
great drawback. 1t units a man for
work entirely, does it not?''
"Gened'ly it does" said the sallow
woman who handed him a tin cup.
Still, when John has right hard fit
Of the shakes we fasten the churn
lasher to him, and he brings the butter
ncida nf fftnpp ~ inutnS ~
The citizen., 1899-05-05
How He Won Her.

Tom-Tm surprised to hear Of Dick $
engagement to the wealthy Miss Anti
quate was under the impression
that she was a confirmed man-hatcr
Jack So she was, but Dick won her
through diplomacy.
Tom How so?
Jack She asked him to order bell
for her bicycle and he told her that she
lidn't require one. as there was n belle
IN her wheel every time she rode it.
After that he had everything his own
way.
The citizen., 1899-05-05
why He Tainted.

"Say, Weary, there're gettin' so much
old on hand in tn United States treas
ry that tn officials is gittin' scared
"You bet it would scare me, too.
Why, dern it all, l nearly tainted
way last week when | seen dime ly-
ng in TIL gutter. MAT do you sup
'ose would come over me if 1 saw a
Whole dollarT'
The citizen., 1899-05-05

To prevent horse paving in the
stall make a frame four feet long, and
of width to nearly reach to the top of
the manger from which it is suspend
ed, allowing it to reach within
about ten inches of the floor. Board
up the sash or frame so that the ami
NAL cannot get its feet over the low
er bar which is made of round stick
two inches in diameter. When 1t
paws the frame will be set in motion
and strike the animals shins, which
will so disgust 1t that the habit will
be given up.
The citizen., 1899-05-05
FEATS OF MEMORY.
Stories OF Famous Men With Remarkable
MemOrizing Facilities.

MemOrlZlnS Facilities.
Scaliger, the philologist Of the six
teenth century, who edited several OF
the classics, was so certain of his men,
ory that he undertook to repeat long
passages from Latin works with dag
ger at his breast, which was to be used
against him in the event Of his memory
failing, while Seneca, the tutor Of
Nero, could repeat two thousand words
exactly as he heard them.
Pope could turn at once to any pass
age which had struck him when read
ing; and Leyden the Scottish poet,
who died in the eurly part of the CEN
tury, was also remarkable for his mem
ory.
When congratulated, on one occasion,
upon his aptitude for remembering
things, Dryden replied that he often
found his memory source of incon-
venience. Surprise was expressed at
this, whereupon tae poet replied that
he often wished ID recall a particular
passage, but coulG not do so until he
had repeated the Whole poem from the
beginning to where the passage occur
red which he wishSd to recall.
Leyden is also credited with having
been able to repeat an act of parlia-
ment or lengthy legal document after
having heard it OILY once.
The newspapers Of January, 1920,
contain a number of illusions to the
case Of a man named Thomson, who
drew plans of dozen London parishes,
including every CHURCH, chapel, yard,
court, monument, lamp post and innu-
merable trees and pumps without refer
ence to a single book and without ask
ing a single question.
An English clergyman mentions a
man of weak intellect, who lived about
the same time, who could remember the
names and ages OF every man, woman
and child who had been buried in the
parish during S5 years, together with
the dates of burial and the names of
the mourners who were present at the
funeral.
The citizen., 1899-05-05
W onau'S Nay.

Mrs Triggs "Oh, dear, did you ever
lear of such luck. Mrs. WaggSley has
aade me Il present of a vase that must
ave cost at least $50. But that's the
gay it always goes! Bad luck comes
When you're hard up and can least
tlord to face it,
Mr. Triggs don't understand you.
Why should this beautiful present
nake you talk about bad luck and be-
ng hard up"
Mrs. Triggs Why, you dull thing
ont you see that shall have to give
.er something in return which will
ost at least So mOre?"
The citizen., 1899-05-05
RnIars of nanmnrIr

For centuries the rulers Of Denmark
have been alternately Frederick and
a Christian. This is the law, that
hlng Christian must be succeeded by
King Frederick, and then comes
hing Christian again. In view of this
law, every Danish prince has among
MS other names both Frederick and
Christian,
The citizen., 1899-05-05
CircumstantiaI Evidence.

"Do you mean to say that my client
was not strictly sober on the after.
noon of the occurrcnCeY' roarcd the
lawyer fer the defense.
"All know is" answered the fright
ened witness, that he put nickel in
a fire alarm box. turned the handle TO
the right, pulled the hook ana called
out the department Then he wanted
to make complaint against someone fol
running n fraudulent gambling de,
vice."
The citizen., 1899-05-05
No Good without II.

Can you tell me, my friend" said
he gentleman TO the keeper of the
amel, what the hump on that camers
,ack is forf'
whats it for?"
"Ies, of what value is it?"
"Well, it's lots of value. The camel
wouldn't be no good without it,"
"Nhy not?"
"Why not? Yer don't suppose people
nd pay siXpence to see a camel with
ut hump, do ycrT'
The citizen., 1899-05-05

Little Willie-Pa, what is bigamist?
Papa-A bigamist, my son, is a man
Who has more wives than the law
provides.
Little Willie-Why, Pa, didn't know
hat the law provided a man with any
wives at all; | thought he had to go
nut and hustle one for himself, If he
wanted her.
The citizen., 1899-05-05

When his dad is Q big object with
vhiskers that says "boo!' TO him.
When his papa is the biggest and
lest of men.
When his school teacher knows
)etter than his father.
When, after all, the old man does
know better than his school teacher.
When he knows better than either
lis governor or his school teacher.
When his daddy again comes forward
his opinion as pretty smart man.
When he is striving and hopes, some
lay, by hard work, to be as smart,
" just title smarter than I'll, old
gentleman.
The citizen., 1899-05-05

"That day it rained so hard" com.
,lained the man with the Galway
vhiskers, found when | started for
,ome that I'd brought my cane down
own instead of my umbrella"
You haven't any worse kick coming
han | have" replied the man with the
jaw. "The night when |
vas held up on my way home | found
had brought my umbrella down town
instead of my cane"
The citizen., 1899-05-05

Tommy: Is that he or she lion,
)apa?
Pater: Which one, dear:
Tommy: That one with its face
scratched and the hair off the top of
is head.
Pater with a sigh: That must be
he male my son.
The citizen., 1899-05-05
Her Favorite Tonic

"How did you get such a pleasant
expression on that ugly Miss Passee's
portrait?"
Il got her to telling me about men
The might have married"
The citizen., 1899-05-05
As It Nav Re.

what do you think of that prize
ghter's style of fighting?
We'll" replied the expert, "his
;rammar is very good, but his meta.
'hors are very crude and ill-chosen."
The citizen., 1899-05-05
Measnres Moi Men.

Measures not men," remarked
Asbury Peppers.
'What on earth are you talking
.boutY asked the curious boarder.
"The ladies' tailor"
The citizen., 1899-05-05

"What doA' that man mean by say
ing you made all your money out of
politics. exclaimed the indignant
friend
81 don't know" answered Senator
Sorghum. at amt accurate. anyhow.
1t was in politics that | made my
money"
The citizen., 1899-05-05

Wine-testers eat a small piece of
bread with scrap of cheese, between
samples, to insure an unprejudiced
taste.
The citizen., 1899-05-05

Mattcrof d Terence.
Mistress-Why o. earth. girl, don't
on answer the fro door-you surely
ear that knocking
The citizen., 1899-05-05

Frank l.. Stouor, mortgage of Charles II. .
ON Petition.
The citizen., 1899-05-05

"Why, professor, wasn't aware that
you went in for athletics to this ex-
ent."
The citizen., 1899-05-05

Bohson What are You east for in
he new play:
JobSon I'm engaged to play no
nrinmS thinf
The citizen., 1899-05-05
ORDER NISI ON SALES.
No. 7Ol5 Equity.

In the Circuit Court for Frederick county. sit
ting in Equity.
The citizen., 1899-05-05

Bobby say Miss Silverspoons, my
sister Maud's going to marry Your
brother Dick; but don I say anything
about it, because he doesn't know it
himself yet.
The citizen., 1899-05-05
ORDER NISI on SALES.
No. 7Olt Equity.

In the Circuit Court for Frederick County. sit.
ting in Equity.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1899-12-19

Victor II. Clement has returned from
California.
Work will shortly be resumed at the
Dixon mine az Blnghnm.
The Daly-wcst reported at the sam
plcr today with i've cars OF ore.
Ed. sheets is spending the week In
the vicinity Of ST. George.
The ontario reported at one of the
samplers today with five cars Of ore,
The Conklln sampler reported five
cars OF orc from the Park city today
Five cars of orc We're ON the market
today from Jcsse Knight's Uncle Sam.
a shipment OF ore Il expected shortly
from the Valley View mine near Belle
vuc, Idaho.
y car OF Glasgow & Western ore was
marketed today from that compauy's
Nevada property.
Walter O. Filler has returned from
an examination OF the Annie Laurie at
Gold mountain.
J. z, BeverldGe late superntendcnt
NJ the Now Mammoth at bingham. ioft
Tor New York this evening.
Two ears of ore were marketed today
from the MontcEuma OF Bingham. a
ear also came In today from the Alblno
In that camp
The Taylor Bfuntou sampler reported
FIVE cars " orc from Tlntic. Ave from
Park city, three from Bingham and one
from Nevada today.
Frank Y. Taylor has returned from
trip TO southern Utah and reports q
number OF teams on the road hauling
copper ore from the Grand Gulch to
Aodena,
William H. Child. who recently ae-
qulred n large Interest In the Puritan
mine Mt Bingham hus been admitted 10
membership on tho Salt Lake Ex-
change,
William O'Nell In In the city from
Nernol ana reports much activity in
mining In that district A very favor
able showing is presented in his claims
and those OF the Ncrnal Copper Com
| pnny In the Jesse Ewing canyon.
Boise Statesman: Il. 7 Anderson
and 8, l.. Upton. have returned from
Salt Lake. Llndcy Vlnton. who went
| to Zion with them. has gone on TO New
| York The Chcckmate deal, Il IL re-
ported, has been practically closed up
| The money for the first payment Is
expected here this week.