The Irish standard., 1899-06-17
THE UNBRIBED REFoRMER.
He Informs n Pretty Dicyclienne That
She is Riding Pi.con-TOed,
and Gets JaweI.

He Informs n Pretty Bfcyclienne Thnt
She is Riding Pigcon-Toed,
and Gets Jawed.
The long, timber, loose-jointed indi-
v;dual who was riding leisurely along
the boulevard on bicycle quickened
his pace slightly and drew alongside
young woman attired in divided skirts
and riding a mans wheel.
''If you will not think am taking
too much liberty, MISS" he said, rails
ing his hat, II will venture to tell you
that you ride pigeon-toed."
"Sir!"
80, most decidedly. Pigeon-toed.
Nobody, perhaps, has done you the
kindness to call your attention to it.
The effect, as one may say, viewed from
the rear"
81 don't think you're much of gen
tleman, anyway"
Eyes, but 1 am. I'm a gentleman
old enough to be your father, young
lady. That is why took it upon my
self to speak to you. Wouldn't you
rather
I'D rather not have anything to say
to you, sir!"
81 was going to ask if you wouldn't
rather l spoke to you about it than to
wink at somebody on the sidewalk and
point at you, and let you ride on in ig-
norance-"
"Therc isn't any need of your doing
either, sir"
81 beg your pardon, but I think
there is. couldn't be ungentlemanly
enough to jeer at you behind your back,
and from my point of view"
Besides, 1 have never been intro
duced to you, SIR"
"Then allow me to introduce myself.
My name is Civilians. I have a wife.
but no children. Hence, 1 have plenty
of time to go about doing good
"Sir, L"
And from my point of view, as was
about to say, it would be almost equally
ungentlemanly to see a young woman
unconsciously riding along in high
ly pigeon-toed manner and give her no
intimation that she is making a bewil-
dering spectacle OF herself"
81 don't believe it, either!"
'Be it far from me to dispute with
you, miss, but you will pardon me for
observing"
II won't, either"
-"For observing that you are not
riding the least bit pigeon-toed now"
''How dare you, sir?''
"It takes u great deal of courage,
that's fact. But it's a sort of duty.
L am always getting into scrapes, even
when 1 am trying the hardest to be a
public benefactor. Great Scott, young
woman! Do look like man who
would go around polling his nose into
steel traps merely for the enjoyment
of the sensation?"
II was going along here peaceably.
sir and paying no attention to you, and
it does seem to me"
Il beg your pardon, my dear Miss
Miss"
"Never mind, sir"
Miss Nevermind-thank you-why
will you persist in refusing to look at
the case from my point of view? just
because nobody has ever told you OF
your pigeon-toed form of riding II
doesn't follow that nobody ever ought
to tell you, and who can do it so appro
priately as some old, withered-but
still active, young woman, still active
hunks like me? Pigeon toes generally
accompany-steady, now-they gener
ally accompany bow legs"
"Sir. think you are"
"They do, indeed, miss. They do, in
deed. wouldn't deceive you in mat
ter like that. They don't always go to
gether, of course, but the presumption
is strong. Now, my wife rides out oc
casionally on her wheel, but do assure
you that if she rode pigeon-toed, q
had dropped handle-bars and a hump
or wore the Jenny Miller style of gea
Il am not sure whether that's tn
proper name of it"
swell, it isn't"
Probably not. But if she did all tina
and rode mans machine, besides.
should say to her: My dear, have
position in society to maintain. ow
something to my family name. Their
| ID AO OAOCs 1 DCllCtCS OA LlC uduuC VI " WI
liams. Therefore. my dear, if you in
sist on going out in that style shall
hire some trusty policeman to go alon|
to take care of you, and I will stay a
home and pray for you.
"'There are machines made for won
en- to ride on, and there is no more nee,
of their mounting a mans wheel thai
there is of their riding in the smoking
car of railway train because ther
happens to be smoking car. And shor
skirts look better than short skirts an
the Jenny Miller style combined
''That's the way should talk to m
wife. and if you knew her as well as
do you would think was taking feal
full risk, young woman"
81 don't care what you would say
your wife, sir. think you are the mos
impudent old"
II beg pour pardon, miss, but you ar
riding pigeon-toed again."
s-rSy