Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-02-11

Correct Form in Their Use Changes
with the Fashions.

correct Form in Their Use Changes
With the Fashions.
From the Chicago Times-Herald
The fact that any one seeks advice upon
the social customs of the day is no dis
credit to him or to her ones instincts may
b. ever so gentle and refined: If one has
lived an isolated life or has been a student
or devoted to profession one is naturally
ignorant of the little courtesies and marks
of SAVIOR faire that are acquired only by
association. A gentlewoman is always gem
tie, gentleman always chivalrous, ana
each may be trusted the whole to fol-
low Unborn guides in his relations to Others.
But it is undenahly true that customs and
manners, like fashions. change with the
time $.
Some of the horrors of the first half Of
the century are perfectly good form today
and vice versa In Europe a visitor from
one country To another inquiries at once
what are the local customs, that ne NAV
not blunder. There is certainly no reason
why an American should hesitate 10 ask
Tor information upon any question OF cti-
quette. Barring the eccentricities Of genius
or strange temperaments, only the truly
aristocratic daTes ignore the rules and reg
ulations of good FORM and he is least likely
to because Of inheritance and habit
Correct form is not necessarily a chron-
icle of the doings of the 'swagger' set,
who stand TO society in the same relation
that art posters do to painting. The idea
is not to tell what you dare do, but what
you should do and the WAY to do it A
large journal has of course among its re-
sources the best obtainable authorities Ipnn
mat which distinguishes good society from
the raw material of the human race.
L am constantly being asked about the
etiquette of visiting cards of which / am
glad, because it is possible to display In
just that little matter of card leaving the
greatest dignity and elegance or the r.
verse If people would but remember that
visiting cards and wedding invitations can
not be improved upon fewer mistakes would
be made. Perhaps the safest advice is that
which points out the incorrect use Of cards
for nothing more quickly betrays ones ig-
norance or lack of confidence. Never send
card by post to represent a visit In
calling upon one who has guest a card
must be left for her well as one for the
hostess.
If the acquaintance upon whom you call
Is receiving in her drawing room the ser
want should not be given your card TO take
10 her, but should announce you by name.
IN older countries the card is not taken to
her at all. but this rule is not adhered to
IN America, because, perhaps. of our I'M
trained servants, who could not. as a rule
be trusted with the pronunciation of a
name. On leaving the house YOU should
leave your card and with it your husbands
card. II the lady of the house is single or
a widow. If she is not two of your hus-
bands cards should be left. If you are I'M
married and reside with your father or
brother his card should be left with YOUR
own. If your call is made on an afternoon
at home" for which You have received an
invitation no card should be left as the
reception day Is made the occasion of an
entertainment and an ordinary call should
be made afterward in Acknowledgement
There are many occasions upon which 4
card may be left as a mark of delicate at
tentiOn or consideration. as in the case Of
illness or death or misfortune These are
determined upon by the circumstances and
the relations existing between acGuaint-
ances. visiting card may be the silent
bearer of sympathy and loyalty and cannot
intrude, as spoken words might do.
In the case of death the words sincere
sympathy may be written on the card
but upon any other occa aston Of misfortune
such as illness or accident. the message
should read simply kind inquiries" Flow
erS are always a graceful offering unless
they are sent in too lavish profuSion.
There are few circumstances however del
lcate, That justify friends in neglecting TO
send card to one who is in any trouble
1t conveys the fact of kindly thought even
when service may not be rendered. These
mean much to the one in distress and cost
the sender little.
An occasion on witch a woman leaves her
card without even asking for the lady Of
the house is when for diplomatic or other
reasons she wishes not to continue other
imam formal acquaintance When you
have letter Of Introduction it should be
left with your card cards.
In the matter of the size and STYLE of
cards there can be little variation from wear
to year. An acknowledged authority saws:
The size of lady's visiting card is 3D. by
3
inches by IL. and The pasteboard should be
thin and smooth though not glossy" 1t
seems scarcely necessary to add that il IS
| bad taste to have the card engraved in
other than the customary script though
many people of excellent taste digress in
favor of the Roman capitals
Fancy borders tinting. ornamental writ
ing, old English, or any other eecentricity
is utterly tabooed Mrs" or Miss" should
never be omitted on a visiting card EX-
IRENE modesty is very Well if il is not
carried to the point at which dignity is sac
rificed, but a visiting card that bears the
Christian name without the prefix is not an
evidence of IL.
For married folk the newest wrinkle is
to have on your card only your last name
as Mrs. Beauvais.' and your husbands
card must also read Mr.. Beauvais" That
is all very well when you have as unusual
name and enjoy unusual prestige but IL
your name be smith or Brown" and YOU
are just plain lady and gentleman. YOU may
not indulge in the newest wrinkle" and
must be happy in the consciousness of dig
nifty and good sense.
l should say to the debutante who asked
about her cards that for the first season
her name should be engraved on her moth
ers card. or on that of the person who acts
as her chaperon-