The Portland daily press., 1899-07-01

My wife, remarked Uncle John AL
gus with an air OF pride and proprietor.
ship, somewhat more prevalent among
young husbands in their honeymoons than
among old ones who have been married
for 80 years or more, as Uncle John was---
my wife Is one NV them women the Lord
only makes few nv, and them mighty
scatterin. She's jist o. good natured and
happy now as she wuz when / courted
her, but Mandy amt all mush and spoon
victuals, and there's times when she has
to be handled with keer er sonethin will
be spilled. She's got temper a-plenty, and
she amt Altered NV the old serpent him
self. mind one thing she done once that
III never fereit eff live to be older than
the parsons wife's bonnet
I'm them days Mandy weighed hun
derd and eighty-seven pounds in her
stockin feet, and wuz only scant hun
derd and forty. We had on the farm all
the time seven or eight head NV fine
horses, and one winter we had pair nv
4-year-olds that we prided ourselves per-
tickeler on, fer they had been takin pre-
miums at the fair every year since they
wuz yearlin's. They had speed, too, and
we thought they couldn't DO beat by
anything in that neck NV woods, but a
neighbor nv ours named Hall--every
knowed Jim Hall, jist like they knowed
me-had pair he had bought in the next
county that he offered to bet COW and
calf could beat ours hands down. He
used to let 'em out past our place to kind
nv tantalize us, and tell you Shey wuzn't
a funeral percession by long ways, but
Mandy used TO laugh and say we'd show
him something when the goin got good.
You see, 1t was along in Novembes
then, and the roads hadn't froze yet. The
first snow come in December with a
mighty cold spell followin and hangin on,
and In. about week er ten days we had
fine sleighin, and one afternoon Mandy
said she guessed we ought to hitch up the
bays and go out for some air and exercise.
That was enough fer me, and / had the
team to the cutter and out at the gate
waitin fer the lady In less than no time.
THE team wuz feelin as frisky as kit
tens, and the way they slung the snow
and spun over the road would stir the
blood in a wooden man. When we got to
the turnpike, where the folks usually let
their teams out, / guess there wuz a dozen
er more movin up and down at clippin
Soib1 anu W. e<tilt0 IA dDlOuk GILL;
and in about seven minutes we passed ev-
erything on the road.
"Jim Hall wuznt out with his team,
and could see that Mandy wuz gittin
anxious, though she wuzn't sayin much.
The road leadin to Jim's place struck the
pike about 200 yards from the upper turn,
and there wuz no sign NV him as we pass
ed, and we didn't see him as we come back,
hr1t ifYut altar va eynfb xrk 4e haow
a olatter up the pike, and, by crackey,
there wuz Jim a-comin lickety spit /
guess he'd been TO the postoffice, and the
way he wuz comm after us wuz like a
mink after chickens. Mandy took. one
look over her shoulder and told me to let
'em go for all they wuz with. didn't
need to be ooaxed, and by the time she
had said the words we wuz fairly fiyin
over tho smooth snow track, and Jim wuz
comm right behind us too. Fer the first
few rods we gained on him, then he begun
to creep up on us in spite NV all we could
do. Everybody on the road knowed how
me and Jim set store by our teams, and
they pulled out to one side and give us all
the room there wuz.
II shook up my beauties as felt him
DRAWN up on me, but shakin wuzn't
enough, and ] touched 'em once er twice
with the whip, but Jim jist rared back on
his strings, lookr like destruction smilin
at desolation, and kept a-oomin. When
his horses heads passed our dashboard
and l could see the snort in their noses,
got kind nv sick and thought I'd have to
let go, but Mandy nerved me up, and /
hung ON and leaned away forrerd as II
that would help some. BY this time Jim's
horses had their heads even with mine,
and held him there fer minute er such
a matter, but jist as 1 begun to have a
hope that 1t might be neck and neck at
the finish Mandy reached fer the line next
to her, and, with sudden jerk, she pull
ed the team of to one side nv the road,
where the snow wuZ in high drift, and
Jim went ahead with yell that made my
ears stand out like windmill happers
81 wuz that dazed fer q minute at
Mandy that couldn't do a lick, and,
deacon though / wuz, I'm afeerd I'd;
a-used language that wouldn't have
sounded exactly right in Sunday school,
but before had chance to mako move
Mandy made fyin leap over the side NV
the sleigh and lit in the deep snow. Then
| wu2 dazedcr than ever and had some
Kind NV an idee that we'd been struck by
an earthquake or something and Mandy
WIZ killed, and I must go back after her
and dig her out. But the team had their
senses with them, ana when they felt they
had nigh two hundsrd pounds less load TO
haul than before Mandy jumped they
didn't stop TO see what had happened, but
let theselyes out on a squirt that wuz chuck
full NV chain lightnin, and out NV the
snowdrift I could hear Mandy scream:
Go 1t, John; you're all right now.
And so l wuz, and so wuz Mandy, fer
before Jim knowed that anything had
happened wuz up with him, alongside,
neck and neck, nose and nose, ahead and
past, and when Ipulled up at the toll gate
he wuz ten lengths behind and too much
surprised to even cuss.
MANDY wuz in the middle nv the road
brushin the snow out NV her clothes and
waitin fer me as come back, and when
said I'd give her a new silk dress fer that
she said it wuz only what any wife ought
30 do fer her husband, but she couldn't
prove 1t by shown me where any other
wife had ever done 1t, and made her tako
the dress in spite NV herself That's the
kind utf a heroine my wife is, and Uncle