Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1899-08-10

nal. SEA.
Wig-Dedbroke tells me that he
hopes to marry soon. Is the girl well
OF? Wag-I think 30: she refused him.
philadelphia Record.
Teacher-Now, Johnny, which would
you rather have your father promise to
give you-a silver watch or gold one?
Johnny-A silver one, cause I'd think
he meant 1t then.-Jewelers' Weekly.
squelched. -"sir," began the book
canvasser. II have little work here
-" Sorry" interrupted the busy
man, "but have great deal Of work
here. Good-morning!'-Chicago News.
"Well. Ned finally proposed last Sun
day EVENING"" WAS he embarrassed"
Embarrassed? should say SO! Why,
he made such hard work Of 1t was
afraid he'd desecrate the Sabbath
Puck.
Parson Goodman-Oh. brethren!
Joslyn Dust back from New York
trip, and very tired)-Don't blow out
the gas and use the rope In case Of
fre.-Judge.
Wife (earnestly)--George, dear,
have prayed 80 fervently of late for a
tailor-made gown that l feel it would
be flying In the face Of Providence not
to go and get measured at once
Brooklyn Life.
About the hottest thing have seen
lately" Asbury Peppers remarked, as
he speared the best slice of melon,
was an old salt, with a peppery tenn
per, who had just been mustered out"
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Layman-Is 1t true that you can new
er get direct answer from a lawyer?
lawyer think 1t would depend upon
what your understanding Of the word
direct" Is, and upon the character and
disposition Of the lawyer.
Freddie, do you know what the BIZ
BILE says about lieY asked his mother
with feigned severity. "Yeth, maam."
lisped Freddie; "a lie is an abomina-
ton unto the Lord and very refuge
in time of trouble. kansas City Star.
Mamma-Johnny. what did you mean
by saying mo" when I asked you If
you went bathing, when you knew you
were telling>a wrong story? Johnny
Didn't you tell me the other day to be
a man and learn to say "No"-Boston
Transcript
1T amt only English people drops
their aitches," said little boy to the
rev teacher. II never heard no Amer
lean pronounsce the aitch In my
name" what is your Manner asked
the teacher. Johnny" said the little
bOy.-Harper's Bazaar.
Mr.. Uncertain-You keep a private
yacht, don't you, Dubious? Mr.. Du-
bious-Oh, yes. Mr. Uncertain-Well,
next to money, what Is the most i'm
portant adjunct necessary to the main
tenance of a craft Of that kind? Mr..
Dubious Credit.-Stray Stories.
Skeptic-You still believe in spirit
ualism, and yet at the seance last
night the medium called up your
grandmother and she didn't know how
many daughters she had. Believer
Oh, well, graudmother's memory was
getting very poor few days before
she died.
Young Lady tout yachting)-What is
the matter, Captain Quarterback?
Captain-The fact is, my dear young
lady, we've broken our rudder. Young
LADY, wouldn't worry about that.
The rudder is mostly under water, any
how, you know. and 1t isn't likely peo-
pie will notice it,
IF give you quarter" said the old
Lady, kindly, what assurance have I
that you viii not Immediately 60 of
and get intoxicatedT Madam" re-
piled the polite tramp "it would give
me the greatest pleasure in the world
to demonstrate to you that it isn't
enough for the purpose. "-Chicago
Post.
President Of the Company guess
you'd better discharge that boy. Man
ager-Why? He seems to be a nice,
quiet kind Of a boy, and 1 haven't no.
ticed that he has neglected his work.
President-That's all very true, but I
don't think he has the making Of
financial genius in him. He's been
around here for more than three weeks
now and hasn't given either you or me
to understand that he knows more
about the business than we do.
Tourist docking back upon a difficult
bit of mountain path he has Just trav-
ersed)-Ugh! that's as ugly bit of
dangerous climbing as I've ever been
over. There must have been a lot Of
accidents there. Why don't they put
up notice board to the effect that it's
dangerous? Guide-There was an ac-
cident there once, sir, and they put up
notice at the entrance to the pass;
but as nobody else came and fell down
the chasm they did away with the
board.
And" said the short little woman
after giving her order to the waiter, as
she tried in vain to touch her toes to
the floor, land, John, l want a has
sock" John nodded, and. as he hand.
ed his order to the walter, said: "Yes.
and bring hassock for the lady" The
waiter did not 60, but brushed the
tablecloth with towel and rearrang-
ed the articles on II several times,
while his face got very red. Then he
came around to Johns side, and.
speaking soto voce. said: Say, mister.
I haven't been here long. and I'm nos
on to all these things, VIII the lady
hax fIA kna Id Ct ass