The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-09-14
EN- ROUTE, June IL, 1899.

To the Candidate:
DEAR CHILD OF HOPE: You have my
sincere commiseration and tender SYM
pathy.
Thorns are hid among the flowers
Along the path you tread,
Thorns are in the passing hours,
And thorny is your bed.
You are Gin the hands of your
friends, and they are quietly working
up your boom. Like Caesar, you are
swearing you don't want the crown,
but you smile graciously on your Anto-
MES, who are offering it. The more
you refuse the more they press you to
receive it and save your country from
wreck and ruin. You are nervous and
reticent; you fear the daggers of Bru-
tus and Cassius. While your friends
are tossing their hats in the air and
shouting give la Candidate!' the low
and the vulgar are ''tellin' pack of
tales" on you. They whisper around
that you are weak in the upper story;
that you are not altogether 1.-The clean
thing sweetened;" that you are deceit
full and totally unreliable; they call
you hog" and 'buzzard" and NANCY
cur" the newspapers skin you from
head to foot, and the little whipper-
snapper politicians make carrion of
your good name. You dare not defend
yourself, lest you be branded as bully.
All you can do is to smile and fight, not
with guns, but with wind. There are
sweet prospects, sweet birds, and
sweet flowers before you, dear candi-
date. Millions of churches just COM
pleted need new bells, and the commit
tee will soon wait on you for dona-
ton, and you must ''ante up the
''dough;" there are also millions of
church organs unpaid for, and of course
the candidate must bear his share of
the burden; book agents will darken
your horizon, and it is your duty to
| carry a fountain pen to facilitate sub
scription work; campaign borrowers
will haunt you, softly whispering in
your ear: Sweet spirit, hear my
prayer" You must be ready to go
security and sign every kind of bond
for ''your triends;'' you must not vince
when some enthusiastic fool grasps you
by the hand and twists it and squeezcs
| it until you can hear the bones pop;
you must go into ecstasies of laughter
| when your intoxicated fellow-citizen
stops you on the street and puts his
arm around your neck and blows your
ear full of corn whisky and tobacco
juice, while he whispers to you silly
yarn which he has told you dozen
times before; you must provide your
self with Sunday school speeches, pic
mic addresses, commencement orations,
Fourth of July pyrotechnics, flaming
eulogies on Thomas Jefferson, after
dinner talks at dollar banquets, apos-
trophies to "The Press, 'extemporaneous
speeches for conventions, tributes to
music, flights of eloquence on the in.
huence of women, bouquet accept
ances, and side-splitting anecdotes for
men only; you must have all these on
tyour tongue-.yea, verify, at its very
end; you must carry an affidavit face,
and when you tell political lies, do ii
with clear conscience, else the muddy
look in your eyes will convict you. The
greatest blessing in politics is to pos
sess the hide of a rhinoceros, thorn
proof and dagger-defying; and if you
have kind heart encase it with steel
and hedge it round about with frowns
and dignity. There is nothing like
dignity as a protection to the candidate
who has no brains. Throw sympathy
to the dogs, if you would be great il
is looked upon by politicians as sigr
of weakness; and if you have gratitud,
in your heart, strangle it, for the wore
''gratitude'' is not in the ''bright lexi
con" of politics. Stern old Andrew
johnson drove center when he said
Gratitude is lively sense of favors t,
come" When James G. Blaine wa
told that a certain prominent gentle
man was opposing him in his convass
he said, with twinkle in his eye: Sc
am surprised to hear that, for canno
remember that ever did him favor
| DuV i GlllAh DldluG went d l1UUlC Lon
far. because when was in politics
found in my humble career many mel
who appreciated honors conferred upol
them, and who have been as true an,
faithful and kind to me in the evenin;
as they were in the morning: and We
in my little sphere have had my littl
Brutuses.
vi course somebody has to save tn
country, and it might as well be you a
, any other patriot. l saved it for TWEEN
; ty years, but l now respectfully declin
to save it any longer-mind you, / al
not playing Caesar; am only humbl
, citizen. In my State we have bot
Caesar and Pompey. but cannot propl
Never do to-day any wrong thing you c.
put Oft till to-morrow.-L A. W. Bullet;
A quarrelsome man is always a pet
: man.-Atchison Globe