The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-10-24
TOWN TALES.

Post office officials are confronted
with all sorts of propositions, but one
of the latest causes even older men in
the department to hold up their hands.
The kick in question eGnanates from a
man who formerly had an office in the
State Mutual building but is now To-
Gated some distance from the center of
the city. This Individual is unable to
comprehend why his mail should not be
delivered as early as when he was To-
Gated on Main street.
1t was explained that his. place of
business was near the end Of long
route. but the man could see no reason
why the carrier should not begin at his
end of the street a part of the time.
1t isn't often that an outsider gets
any advantage out of az big wedding.
Perhaps the sudden irruption of hilari-
Gus youth in a bridal party may en-
liyen the interest of a sleepy passenger
on a Journey but more often one is
kept busy fishing rice from the inter
stices in his spinal column and waist
coat and wondering if he @lgnt 70
give UP his seat to the pretty SlM or
the others. A Worcester man left mere
o'clock Shore line express from Bos-
ton If he waited till midniglE he could
not reach his destination in New Ro-
cheIle till about in the morning. me
Federal express reaches Stamford ana
Harlem long after the last acc@mmoda-
ton trains have gone to ped. Al New
Rochelle the man knew the FeoeaTal eX-
press left the New Haven main me 20
take the branch. for this is the Wash
arOu0u
New York on a ferry. 1t might slow
mn AT the junction He risked it Here
came his luck Down in Connecticut
there was q big wedding, ana the Iong
train had several extra coaches adued
TO il. When the man gently Approached
the authorities with the suggestion Vlat
he could alight at New Rochelle IL Ihe
train was slowed down, ne 1ouIlu ina az
one Of the special cars would be
dronned at New Rochelle. He had that
wedding to thank for reaching his des-
tination at 2 o'clock instead of I or
The ingenuity of the man WHO is
without the price, and entertalns de-
signs against the pocketbook OF the
man who is in funds, was given q new
direction last week. The story has TO
do with a linotype printer on one of the
papers who happened to have large
and enthusiastic use for S. He was at
work at his machine, puzzling between
the casting of lines and how he could
secure the coveted green Wllham,
when brilliant thought fiased
through his brain.
He dashed off line of type that
contained the following: Joe, lend me
S. Jack Lackfunds.'
Lackfunds wasn't his nameq but for
the purpose of this story it will do as
we'll as any other.
Lackfunds gave the line of type to
the office boy with instructions to bring
it with all haste to a certain saloon
keeper, who shall be nameless, for the
publication of his name might bring
down upon him an avalanche of
touchers.
The saloon keeper rubbed some ink
on the type and made an impression
on cardboard. He read the pathetic
appeal and, without a word, went over
to the safe and, securing the necessary
amount, placed 1t in an envelope, which
he sealed and handed to the office boy.
The foreman didn't know thing
about the transaction but he wondered
what magical effect the brief interview
with the office boy on his return had
upon Lackfunds. for he whistled at his
work, and his machine fairly sung as
it ground out the lines.
Everyone who went to the Worcester
theatre last week to see the evil
Eye" remembers a song of the charm
ing widow, in which she uses a fishing
pole quite effectively, and ends by Civ
ing some man on the front row the
red cloth heart that dangled from the
end of the line. No casualties were re-
ported while the company played here,
but a member of the company told a
friend Saturday night, after tine per-
Torrance, that in q certain town they
played in, the innocent little heart
played havoc with one mans domestic
relations.
He went to the Evil Eye" alone, and
during the evening also had several
"eye openers that possibly enhanced
the pleasure of seeing the show, but
got him rather mixed up by the time
he was ready to go home. He sat in
a front seat, as becomes a man of
gray hair and grown up family, and
was the recipient of the red heart, with
the customary advice to take it home
to his wife. The man in question got
home about midnight, in a rather in
coherent condition, and, mindful of the
behest of the charming widow in the
Evil Eye" told his wife that a pretty
lady had presented him with the heart
as token of her affection.
The ire of the worthy woman was
aroused by the idea that some brazen
llussy had been flirting with her hus-
band. and knowing that he had attend
ed the performance the night before,
dawn had hardly broke before she sal
lied forth, leaving her recreant spouse
wrapped in a deep slumber, and sought
the hotel where the company was stay
ing. She demanded of the sleepy clerk
to be shown to the room of the i'm
pudent thing that had dared to give
keepsakes to her husband, and in a
short time had the whole house aroused.