The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-09-14
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Fred0le-Say, udu, WY are lueIe NJ
marriages in heaven? Henpecker-Bs-
,ause rs heaven.-Town Topics.
Film What's your. business? Flam
Contractor. Fim-Nhat linei Flam
Debts Town Topics.
Teacher Willie, where Is the capital
IF the United States? Willie Todate--
In the t-usts.-1own Topics.
And 1.-THE Of limb. Trayeler-Are the
mosquitoes thick around here? Sub
lrbanlte-No; long aud slim.-Life.
Brlggs-Pye got splendid story 10
ell at the club dinner 10 night. Griggs
Which one Is it?- Detroit Free Press.
yes, poor Mrs. Gabber died al un-
speakably hard death What Killed
herT "Lockjaw. philadelphia Bull
leun.
Doesn't 1t cost you q good deal to
run this yacht, old man. Yes; but
my wife can't spend cent when shsa
here. Life.
Tenant-But does the chimney al
ways smoke like this? Landlond-oh,
40! only when thers's rre In the
Exchange.
Editor Did you write these Jokes
Yourself? Would be Contributor-Yss,
sir. Editor-Yon must be older than
you look.-Criterion.
The little dressmaker who was walk
.ng across field. ON encounteriRg a
Rpl .a4d ~.
bias to avoid gore.-Bazar.
Good Man-Do you know where littls
boys 10 who smoke cigarettes? Bad
Boy-Yep. Dey goes out In de wood
shed.-Chleago News.
Spun The cycle is supersedlng the
horse everywhere. Bifr-Yes: found
piece OF pneumatic tire Ia my susage
this morning. -rit-Blts.
MY curiosity is running away with
me-" said the farmer, when his two
headed calf broke loose and towsd
him around the barnyard.-Ex.
Did that woman give any reason for
attempting suiedeY" Yes. yer honor"
What was IT. "She says she wanted
10 XIII herself - Chicago Record.
Jaggles the greatest living
authority on ratlesnakes. Waggles-
That isn't saying much; most Of the
authorities don't live long. Puck.
orator-No, gentlemen; tell you that
II you want u thing to be done we'll,
you must always do 1t yourself. Voice
from the crowd r How about getting
your hair cut?-Ex.
Mamma tat the breakfast table)-You
always ought 10 use your napkin,
George. Georgle-I am usin' It, mann
ma; I've got the dog tied 10 the leg Of
the table with lt--Ex.
smith What Are you learning to
fence, Jonesf Jones Yes; YOU see IN
going to a peace conference, and its
Just as well 10 be prepared Boston
Globe.
Mrs Lash -What did you get baby
for birthday present. Mrs. kash-I
took $40 out VI the little darling's bank
aud bought him This lovely lamp for the
1rawlng-room.- It'd Bits.
At the Royal Academys"This portrait
makes her look prettier than she did
when | met her jane "of course,
ma. the artist paints SO much bsrtsr
than she does. Pick MeUp.
Attorney (sternly) The witness Will
please state II the prisoner Was in the
habit Of whistling when alone. Witness
/ don't know was never with the
prisoner when lie was alone.-Ex.
Amy readng) He gave her Jew
eled y-l-n.a-i-g-r-e-tt-e-h do you pro
nounee that. Uncle lsaaci Uncle
Isaac (gruffiy)-I pronounce II down
right foolshness. Jewellers Weekly.
81 thought" said the disappointed
friend. you told me this election was
going TO be II walkoyer." Well" an
swered the former candidate. ut was.
| was the doorstep. Washington Star.
In Boston: How much are these
string beans?' Seventy i've cents =
quart" Isn't that rather altitudin-
ousY eyes, madam. but these are
very highstrung beans."-Yale Record.
Il don't know why you should say
that empty house Is haunted" why,
don't you see those ancient window
curtalns?p Yes. but" Well.
aren't they the shades OF the depart,
I'd Y"- Boston Post.
Wayfarer Ito the robber)-I haven't
any money with me. I'm sorry to say,
but | will be glad TO advise all my
friends and acqualntanees TO take
walks along this lonely path hereafter.
-Fliegende Blaetter.
Johnnie What Is hereto, pal
Father--A hereto. my son, IL person
who has wrong beliefs. Johnnie-Then
II ma believed what you tell her when
YOU come home late, would she be
heretic2- New York Journal
Widow Farley DO ye moind the
beautiful bokay Mr.. Googan PRESENTED
me this mawnln'T All, the poor mon
His wolfe died list TIN days ago. Widow
Murphy Begorra, they kipt we'll,
didn't they. -Harper's Weekly.
These are this years pecans, are
they?" ayes, sir" How much are
they" six cents pound How
much are those In the next barrelT'
Sell you those for 10 cents pound"
"They look just like the others. What
makes them 80 much higherT They're
they're next years pecans, slr."-Ex,
Little Ethel, aged ), accompanied her
grandmother TO church one sabbath
morning, and when the contribution
plate came around she dropped In the