Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-03-31
TIE TATTooED NAN.
the Side Show and Ruin
Followed.

LduSnin at tDdb DldiHS 1OOi dI
tooed Man made 'em let the Ossifiec
Man fall and break. an that was the
first piece of bad luck" said the side
Snowman gloomily.
81 was tlckled to death when l signed
that Tattoo Man, because he was good
card. Had a lot of little details that
made him different. Had two niggers
that dressed up as two of the savages
that caught him and tattooed him in
the South Sea islands. and he had fine
painting. life size. of himself lynn on
his back Oh the seashore with a lot of
bowling savages and a red-hot fire
ready to boil hims Handsome built
man, 100. When he'd got himself fresh
stenciled all over and, come out with
nothin on but his trunks an slippers
he>didn't look naked at all Just looked
as if he had on great makeup that
let him show off his fine shape to per-
lection That man ruined me. He was
an awfu, josher. and from the minute
the tent was empty between shows he'd
have 'em all on the haw-haw. The
very first day l had to go over and
warn The Living Skeleton that if he
didnt stop laughing I'd fine him. My
wife-pu me on right then and there
that is / didn't fire him he'd break
up the show. She seemed to take an
awful dislike to him from the start
But l " ou,dn't listen to a woman's good
insight, an reflected that if the Liv-
ing Skeleton did gain a few pounds
the Fat Woman would gain more than
he would and rather even up matters.
Well, along at first the Fat Woman
KEEP pickin' up right along. till the
TattooeG Man got to cha1tin' a whole
lot with Maggie Nolan. the Circassian
Beauty, then ! see the Fat Woman was
stuck on him. So l wasn't surprised
when she got melancholy and. went to
iosin' flesh at an awful rate Them
Fat Women is alus inclined to be senti-
mental an you have to watch 'em like
hawks. An that wasn't all. The
Bearded Lady was the Circassian
Beauty S husband in private life, an
he got so mad I couldn't hardly hold
him. The Tattooed Man was quicker
than scat an he was onto all the
! cussed tricks on earth, SO when there'd
be a Zig crowd in the tent he'd man
age to get into a conversation with the
| Circas sian Beauty and watch the Beard
! ed Lady writhe. One day the Bearded
| Lady couldn't stand it. an he threw
| the Pygmy Skeleton Found in the
| Pyramids at the Tattooed Man an got
him right in the eye. 1 see the crowd
gettin' ready to drop on, so gives 'eIn
| all three a glance an then 1 gets in
| front of the Tattooed Man an / says
| real loud:
| "'Sae here, you've trified with this
poor woman's Affections pointing to
| the Bearded Lady, long enough. an if
| you don't marry her tonight you
may go.
well. the crowd cheered at that, an
| that night the tent bulged with peo-
! pie to see the ceremony. They didn't
| like it, but l had 'em do that quarrel
| an get married at the night show every
| third town after that. an business
| picked up so didn't make 'em pay for
| the Pygmy Skeleton. 1t was only a
| little one about a foot high, anyhow.
an only cost about three dollars up in
| Chicago, where they make 'em. My
| wife begged me to fire 'eIn again that
| day, but was bulI-headed. an wouldn't
| listen.
"Wen. as I said, one day he was
| joshin' again, an two of the rousters
| got 10 laughin' so hard they let the
| Ossified Man fall an broke him in four
places. Course we put him together
| again. but he complained after that
| that he could feel. First he got so he
could feel the red-hot pokers, an we
had. to cut that. Then it got 50 he'd
| vince when we stuck forks an even
| needles into him, and blamed if he
| didE'S go to work an get just like any
! other man after that. Seemed to bring
| his circulation or something back in
| the right place. He was awful sore
| about il, but it wasn't my fault, an l
| had to let him do the Wild Man turn
| at a reduced salary. But he was no
| good at it. The Tattooed Man apol-
| ogized TO him. of course; but what good
| did that do?
| HE certainly was winner among
the women. for it wasn't long after that
| till he had the Snake Cbarmer crazy
| after MIN, an the Fat Woman. vino
had lost flesh so she had got down to
| dom bicycle turn for a novelty to
make good, was jealous enough to eat
nails. One day just after the big show
took up her an the Snake Charmer
got into a fight about it, an when got
in the tent the snake box was upset.
an all them that wasn't too lazy was
crawlin' away into the animal tent
Then there was a panic, an come near
bein' cut loose from the big show.
my wife was bound an determined
then to have him fired, but / had my
dander up. an KEEP him, an as my wife
said. he broke up the show. One night
he eloped."
with the Circassian Beauty" ven
tured.
mo All, no. With my wife. An
they took all the coin an my diamonds
with 'em. an. as 1 owed three weeks
back salaries. that broke me up. Durn
him."-Cincinnati Enquirer.