Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1899-10-27

among them Jouhert and Paul Kruger. In
the meantime defeating several large Boer
armies This no doubt viii be officially
reported some time this week. If not, Gen.
Wolseiey win include it in one Of his sum
maries. =
You attach great Importance to the OPP
orators and censors. Mr.. Secretary"
Everything said Mr.. Chamberlain.
Give me control OF the telegraph lines and
cables and | care not who wins the bat
tles-I will see that they are officially re-
ported in satisfactory manner
but suppose 1 asked, that the news
reported TO the censor is dreadfully dis
aging-what them
in that case Gen. Lord Wolseley gives
a summary of the situation, which OF
course. is so arranged that it serves just
as well as an official victory. and besides
it sort of relieves the weight on the con-
science of our brave operators
We then discussed other matters and /
referred to the comments of the French
press asking why the Prince of Wales did
not take the field as many of his prede-
cessors had done.
"Impossiblen' said his excellency. 'It is
currently reported that he has Obligations
friends alone. This is but one item. Then
the prince has quite an amount of insur-
ance on his life When it was reported
that he might possibly go to war. all these
friends went Immediately to the horse
races and surrounding the Prince begged
with tears in their eyes that he stay at
home How could the poor man stand
these touching appeals coming from the
T~t--
remain at home. Then these Beers have
such an awkward way of shooting, YOU
know, one cannot tell positively what
they are going 10 hit"
Does your exceliency think" 1 asked.
that Sir Redvers-Buller will be as sue
cessful as he phophesied?"
He may not be in fact but officially I
think he will We are doing all we can
for him, an alert and skilled corps of tel
egraph operators and censors will accom-
pany him. also the London Times war cor
respondent, who would not possibly tell
the truth if it favored the Beers. But l
am deeply worried about Butler said Mr..
Chamberlain, gravely.
You do not believe him Inefficient
mo, no. quickly responded the Rt. Hon.
Secretary. but are you acquainted with
Sir RedVerS list OF uueS?"
1 answered that 1 was not.
"His full title" resumed the Secretary,
sis Lieut. Gen. Rt. Hon. Sir Redvers-Hen-
ry-Buller., p. c., G. c. B.. X. c. B., X.
c. NJ G., C. b., V. c. Imagine man lug
ging all that around with him. 1 am
dreadfully afraid that he will have some of
the alphabet shot off his name before he
leaves South Africa"
Just then a messenger arrived and hand
ed Mr.. Chamberlain a telegram. He open
ed it and glancing over it, remarked "Here
is telegram-a cable message-which
reads Our division in hot retreat from
Glencoe, leaving erything behind. Beers
pursuing. This. you see is private mes
sage. In a moment you will see the official
revision" The Secretary took a pen and
in a few minutes produced the following:
Our troops charging CALAMITY toward
Ladysmith. Beers, panic stricken, are re-
treating upon our rear columns" This
bulletin was posted amid great enthusiasm.
AS l was leaving Mr.. Chamberlain said.
81 must not forget to mention my appre-
citation of the great Mr.. Mckinley. We are
very much alike. We both can change our
views every fifteen minutes with no strain
to our conscience. In 1856 I was the cham
pion of the absolute independence of the
Transvaal. But short while ago Mr.. Nc
Kinley spoke in horror of criminal ag-
gression Look at US now! Great men
must be able to turn somersaults, Ell? And
what shall I say of Otis-greatest of
American generals, one who understands
censorship as applied to war newsstand
the many official victories he scored there
by. Gen. Otis. sir-is a birdn'
A happy smile then lit up the face of the
Secretary-the expressman arrived with
the orchids. BARON JONES.