davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-03-03
NOT ToUcHY.
Possessed of Good HumOr nEd
Humility.

To enjoy a joke at ones own eX-
pense requires strong sense of hui
NOR and a little inherent humility.
There is story told of the first kaiser,
King William of Prussia, the grand
father of the present monarch, which
proves that he was not devoid of either
quality.
At the time when Mr.. G. r. Sims was
student at Bonn, he and his fellow
students had little club at one of
the hotels. The room where that club
met was one day the scene of an anus
ing incident. The king was stopping
at the inn, and as luck would have it.
he made his way to the English club
room.
The innkeeper saw which way he
was going, and grew desperate, for
did he not know what lay on the table
in that room?
Etiquette was cast to the winds, and
the proprietor made a reckless dash
past his majesty, rushed into the club
room and seized a periodical from the
table.
The king lifted his eyebrows in sur
prise. Why had the innkeeper thus
rudely passed him, and why had the
paper been removed? He desired to
understand the mystery. and accord
Iingly asked for information.
cit is the English Punch, your males
ty, and there is in it, believe, a pic
ture that your majesty would not
care to see," faltered the unhappy inn
keeper.
Give it to me-" commanded the
king.
The trembling hotel keeper obeyed,
and then stood before his sovereign
with downcast eyes. The old king
| looked at the Punch cartoon, and
| though it was a none too friendly
caricature of himself, he smiled.
my good man." he said. quietly, 81
am sorry you thought / should be an
noyed by such trifie. Put the paper
| back on the table, give my comp1i-
ments to the English gentlemen, and
| tell them that have seen the cartoon
and that j think it is eXcellently
drawn."-Youth' Companion.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-03-03
COn1nefftiOn.

Down in Oklahoma there is a town
where two rival bakers offer special in
ducements to attract custom WheH
Schmidt announces a cut in prices Du'
pont outdoes him in the matter of &C
commodation.
One day the French baker had thi;
sign painted on the side of his house:
Seven loves for twenty-five cents"
The German could not furnish more
loaves for that sum without inviting
bankruptcy TO the feast, SO appealed tc
the public in another wave by putting
in his window this startling notice
''On Saturdays customers OWL, vital
will be cooked."-Judge.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-03-03
SYNOPSIS.

Minard Hendricks, great detective. just
returned from Boston, finds awaiting him
an unsigned typewriter letter directing
him to apartments in Palace hotel, where
he will find remains of Mr.. Weldon Caruth-
ers-currently reported for past two weeks
to be out Of town. Detective seems TO con-
meet letter with attempt made on his own
life some time previous. Goes with friend,
DR.. Lampkin to investigate. Upon search
of Caruthers' apartments remains of ere
mated body and jeweled hand of victim
are found in a vase. Hand bears marks
of finger nails manicured to sharp points
Lampkin recalls report of a row between
,Caruthers and Arthur Gielow, both suitors
for hand of Dorothy Huntington. Just then
the clerk comes in to the great annoyance
of the detective.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-03-03

Filling an envelope with the ashes. he
put it in his pocket.
"We must be going" he said. The
police, headed by that detective-Sergt.
Denham-will be here in a minute.
They are welcome to our find. ] want
to see Miss Huntington before the
news reaches her. If I wait till she is
dumfounded by all this horror, she'll
close her lips. / saw Denham down
there. He is a new man. great pet of
Capt McRae's, but he is awfully
fresh"
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-03-03
DON'T WORRY.

Don't worry. In this tangled skeiu
OF life. a worrying thought
But complicates the kinks of pain
And tightens up each knot.
Make will the master of your mood.
Through anxious fear and doubt,
No peace, no pleasure, andeno good
Was ever brought about.
Don't worry. Do the best you can
And let hope conquer care.
No more is asked of any man
Than he has strength to bear.
The back is fitted for the load:
Your burdens all were planned:
And If you sing along the road
Kind fate will lend hand.
Don't worry. Fortune IS dame
You have to WOO with smiles.
Whateser her mood you must rot blame
Nor criticise her wiles.
Trust God in shadow and in sun.
And luck will come your way.
But never since old time begun
Has worry won the day.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox. in Youths Com
panion.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-03-03
wfIIie,s System.

Mamma-Why is it, Willie, that you
never care to play with boys of your
size? You are always either with those
that are much smaller or much larger
than yourself.
Willie-Cause I can lick the littlel
boys and it amt no disgrace TO gil
whipped by bigger ones--Chicagf
Evening News.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-03-03
A Dull Fellow.

Shelf you could have all your hearts de-
sires what is the first thing you would think
of taking? =
Hell would take of the sioes i am wear
ing and put on a pair that wouldn't hurt my
feet" She then readjusted the piece of
court plaster on her Hobson spot and
treated him with marked GOODNESS during
the rest of the evning.-Chicago Evening
News II
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-03-03
Bromu. Iuermt. Gra.s.

It's the greatest grass on earth-Salzer says
so. This grass yields Alto tons better hay
than timothy in dry, rainless countries;
yields even more than that in Ohio, Ind =,
Mich, Wis, Iowa, H., Mo-, Kans., Nebr.,
Mont, yes in every state of the Union!
Salzer warrants thisi Potatoes 20 Bbl
Send this notice to JOHN a. SALZER
cents postage and receive their great Seed
Catalogue and sample of this grass seed and
nine other farm seed Rareties free. LKl
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-03-03
KleptOuania.

Molly-Jack stole something from under
my very nose while we were down at the
shore looking at those fishing boats.
Dolly-What was it, little smack?-
SomerVille Journal.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-03-03
A Sad Case.

"Was Beatrice weeping because her hus-
band had appendicitis ?"
mo, she wept because he didn't get it I'M
til it was out of style."-Chicago Evening
News
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-03-03
/. Dish to Re Relied Upon.

Haskins-What do,you get to eat at
your clearinghouse?
Perkins-Oh! little of everything
HaskineDo you get hash, tooS
Up to Date.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-03-03

st. Jacobs Oil cures Soreness st. Jacobs
Oil cures Stiffness.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-03-03

The Digger Indians must have to scratch
for a living.-L. A W. Bulletin.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-03-03

We are forming new coal and coke trust
and intend calling it ''The Coal Trust an
Coke Dust Cindercate. ALLEY Sloper.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-03-03

| The phreno+ogist always has his business
on the brain.-Chicago Daily News.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-03-03

St. Jacobs Oil cures Sprains. st. Jacol
Oil cures Bruises.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-03-03

A common complaint is Baekache No
surer cure than St. Jacobs Oil.
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-03-03

st. Jacobs Oil cures Backache. St. Jacob
Oil cures Muscular Aches
Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-03-03
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP co.

SAN FRANCISCO. Cal %
LOUISVILLE. KY. NEW YORK. N.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02
A Narrow Escape.

Thankful words written by Mrs. Ada
E. Hart, of Groton, S. D. WAS taken
with bad cold which settled on my
lungs; cough set in and finally termi-
mated in Consumption. Four Doctors
gave me up, saying I could live but a
short time. i gave myaelf up to my
Savior, determined if l could not stay
with my friends on earth, would meet
my absent ones above. My husband
was advised to get DR.. Kings New Dis
covery for consumption, coughs and
colds. I gave it a trial, took in all
eight bottles. 1t has cured me, and
thank God l am saved and now q well
and healthy woman" Trial bottles
free at WATERS PHARMACY. Regular
size SOC and 81, Guaranteed or price
refunden,
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02
WASHINGTON LETTER.
FROM OUR REGULAR CORRESPONDENT.
WASHINGTON, Feb. q, 1899.

WASHINGTON, Feb. q, 1899.
An immediate extra session of the
next Congress was avoided when agree
ment was reached on the Army bill,
but there are indications that cause
many to think an extra session probable
in the near future. Things are in a
more critical condition in the Philip
pines than is indicated by anything
given out officially. Dewey's cable to
hurry the battleship Oregon, was given
out inadvertently at the Navy Depart
ment. and the officials have since been
trying to make the public believe that
it had no significance. They are fool
ing nobody. Dewey's record isn't that
of a man who does things without cause,
he thought he needed the Oregon or he
would not haye sent that message. and
it is we'll known that he doesn't need
the battleship to fight the Fillpinos. 1t
has been feared in Washington ever
since the Filipino attempt to burn Ma
Mia, several days ago was known, that
the destruction of property might be
made an excuse for meddling, by Ger
many or other foreign powers or COM
bination of powers. Long headed men
believe that there is greater danger of
a war with Germany now, than there
was at any time while the war with
Spain was going on, and should their
fears be realized, Congress would at
once have to be called in extra session.
The minority Senators claim that they
won a great victory in the new Army
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02
The Sure La Grippe Cure.

There is no use suffering from this
dreadful maladv, if you will only get
the right remedy. You are having
pain all through your body, your liver
is out of order, have no appetite, no life
or ambition, have bad cold, in fact are
completely used up. Electric Bitters
is the only remedy that will give you
prompt and sure relief. They act di-
rectly on your liver, stomach and kid
neys, tone up the whole system and
make you feel like new being. They
are guaranteed to cure or price refund
ed. For sale at WATERS PHARMACY
only so cents per bottle.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02
Dangers of The Grip.

The greatest danger from La Grippe is OF
its resulting in pneumonia. If reasonable
care is used, however, and Chamberlain
Cough Remedy take, ali danger will be avoid
ed. Among the tens of thousands who have
used this remedy for la grippe we have We,
to learn of single case having resulted in
pneumonia which shows conclusively that
this remedy is a certain preventive of that
dangerous disease. 1t will cure Ia grippe in
less time than any other treatment. 1t is
pleasant and safe to take. For sale by DR..
]. X Walters
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02
THE CA7oc7lN CLARION.
CHAS. E. CASSELL.
Editor and Publisher.
Thursday, March 2, 1899.
Newspaper Law Decisions.

/. Any person who takes paper regularly non'
Oh. nostofice-whether directed to his name an
o,h.r,s or whett has subscribed or not re-
sponsible for the payment.
If any person orders his paper discontinued ne
o, she must pay all the arrearages or the puoi'She,
NAV continue to send it until payment is made ana
collect the whole amount whether the paperis taken
from the Office or not.
No paper will be discontinued until paid up.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02
Beware of OintmeMts for
that contain Mercury


as mercury will surely destroy the sense
of smell and completely derange the
whole system when entering 1t through
the mucous surfaces. Such articles
should never be used except on prescrlp'
tons from reputable physicians, as the
damage they will do is ten fold to the
good you can possibly derive from them.
Halls Catarrh Cure, manufactured by
u. Cheney g. Co., Toledo, O., contains
no mercury, and is taken internally
acting directly upon the blood and mu-
cous surfaces of the system. In buying
Halls Catarrh Cure be sure you get the
genuine. # IS taken internally and
made in Toledo, Ohio by F. ], Cheney
g. Go. Testimonials free.
S@ Sold by druggists, price 70 cents
per bottle.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02
Bucklen's Arnica Salye.

The Best Salve in the world for Cuts,
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum.
Fever Sores, letter, Chapped Hands,
Chilblains, Corns and all Skin Eruptions
and positively cures Piles, or no pay
required. 1t is guaranteed to G i've per
feet satisfaction or money refunded.
Price Is cents per box. For sale by
Waters Pharmacy.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02

A Swedish nurse claims to have cured
pimples in two weeks BY takinga tea
spoonful of phosphate Of soda in a glass
of warm water, each night at bedtime,
and every morning before breakfast
For the first week, she also took it be-
fore the other two meals of the day.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02
An Honest. Medicine for
In Crime.

George W. Watt of South Gardiner, Me,
saws: II have had the worst cough, colds,
chils aud grip and have taken lots OF trash
of no account but profit to the vendor. Cham.
berain's Cough Remedy is the only thing
that has done any good whatever. l have
used one so cent bottle and the chills, cold
and grip have all left me. l congratulate
the manufacturers of an honest medicine"
For sale by DR.. j. K. Waters.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02

AS the season of the year when pneumonia,
la grippe, sore throat, coughs, colds, catarrh,
bronchitis and lung troubles are to be guard.
ed against. nothing sis fine substitute" will
answer the purpose" or is Just as good as
One Minute Cough Cure. That is the one
infallible remedy for all lung, throat or bron.
chal troubles. Insist vigorously upon hav-
ing it something else' is offered you. j.
X, Waters.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02

Lent has closed all the theatres in
Russia since the beginning of Alexan-
der Ills reign. A recent ukase now
permits plays to be performed, with the
exception of the first and last weeks. A
distinction is made between grand opera
and serious dramas and comic opera,
the latter being strictly forbidden I'M
less given in foreign language.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02

Rush chairs occasionally refuse to
stand upright, and must then be thor
oughly soaked, either with rain, or by
means of garden hose. The water
rushes, out of which the chairs are
made, crave moisture, and should be
soaked about once every month.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02

The little Japs are about as free from
the vice of drunkenness as any people
in the world. In fact, it is the rarest
thing in the world to see an inebriated
subject of h mikado. The native
drink, "saki," is used about as tea in
this country, and it is but little more
Intoxicating.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02

A famous complexion specialist as
serts that half the bad compilations are
caused by wells. They catch and hold
specks and germs which are absorbed
into the skin by the open pores. Dot
ted wells are especially bad for eyes.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02

For frost bites, burns, indolent sores, &C
zema, skin disease, and especially piles. De
Wits Witch Hazel Salve stands first anc
best. Look out for dishonest people who
try TO initiate and counterfeit it. It's theil
endorsement of a good article. Worthless
goods are not initiated. Get DeWit's Witch
Hazel Salve. Jas, X. Waters.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02

To make new broom wear we'll, i'm
merse it in a pail Of boiling water, leave
it there till the water has become en-
tirely cold, then dry the broom thor
oughIy in the air. Frequent moisten-
ing of broom adds to its usefulness,
and also saves the carpet.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02
Public Sale

By virtue of power Of sale contained In
a mortgage from Sarah A. Leatherman and
Isaiah Leatherman, her husband, to Abner
G. Deyibiss, bearing date the fret day OF
April. 1899, and assigned to Ada Devries by
Edwin Devilbss. executor of the last will OF
Abner G. Devilbiss, deceased, which has been
assigned to VIM. M. Leatherman, which said
mortgage and assignments are duly recorded
in Liber J. L. j., No. 2, folio 394, one of the
Land Records of Frederick County, the
undersigned assignee will sell at public sale
at the City Hotel in Frederick city, Frederick
county, Nd, on
MONDAY, MARCH 9Th, 1899,
AT!1 O'CLOCK, A. NJ,
All the following described valuable real
estate, viz
All that valuable farm containing
1873 ACRES g. "a SQUARE PERCHES
of land, more or less, situated II miles north
of Lewistown, Frederick county, Maryland
on the Frederick & Emmitsburg turnpike.
This property is improved with substantial
BRICK DWELLING HOUSE
containing 10 rooms, also summer kitchens
large stone spring house, wash house, wagon
shed and large
BANK BARN, HAY SHED, HOG PEN
and numerous other necessary outbuildngs
There is spring of never. failing water and
and a large cistern at the building. There are
TWO ORCHARDS
on the place. This farm is one of the best in
Frederick county, convenient to market
having the advantage of a first class pike
and being also convenient to churches and
schools. The land is first quality limestone
There are about
GEE 12a ACRES IN TIMBER, Il.
the balance in high state of cultivation
There are on the premises
LIMESTONE QUARRY
AND TWO LIME KILNS
in good working order. This real estate
being the same which the said Sarah A
Leatherman, late of Frederick county, dice
seized and possessed, and was conveyed tt
her by Daniel Leatherman and wife by deet
recorded in Lber T. G., No. 6, folio 8, &c
! one of the Land Records of Frederick county
T>ERMS of SALE as prescribed by thu
l. Mortgage, Cash. All conveyanclng a
the expense of the purchaser. A deposi
of $500 90 will be required from tn
purchaser on the day OF sale,
CHAS. G. WATERS, Solicitor.
WIN. M. LEATHER NAN,
feb 20 3t Assignee OF Mortgage.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02

Now, that the Lenten season calls
for fish in extra quantities. it is we'll to
know how to keep the fish fresh over
night. Simply wrap it in cloth made
very wet with vinegar. Beefsteak may
also be kept fresh in the same way.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02
For La Grippe.

Thomas Whitefield Il Co., s4O Wabash
ave., corner Jackson ST., one of Chlcagos
Oldest and most prominent druggists, recon
mend Chamberlain's Cough Remedy for ia
grippe, as it,not only gives II prompt snd
complete relief, bat also counteracts any ten
dency of la grippe to:.result in pneumonia
For sale by Dr. J. X. Waters.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02

A convenient wash boiler is one hav.
ing a wire basket to hold the clothes,
and to lift them out by when boiled.
The basket rests in the boiler by means
of a Hanged ring, and the arrangement
is the invention Of IL western woman.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02
per bottle.

If onions are put in cold watar for an
hour before using, and parsley is used
with them, they do not leave trace III
the breath of the partaker.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02
FRAzER Axl. / /.
Get The Genuine! 6TR Z I'd 81
Sold Everywhere! ~asHHs Is 4 4. ..
THE LADIES' HOME JOUR
NAL FOR 1899,

An even excellence makes the good things which
THE LADIES HOME JOURNAL promises unusu-
ally interesting and strong. The list is strong and
sturdy. One series of papers alone would sell the
magazine: that is, the three White House articles
which exPresdent Harrison is to write. No man has
ever done what General Harrison will do in these
articles: show us what "A Day With the President
at his Desk means in article in another tell of
THE Social Life of the President" and in third ar
ticle describe upstairs Life in the White House"
Each of the articles will be profusely illustrated. An
other series equally fascinating is the one called
"Great Personal Events in which some of the great
est enthusiasts which have occurred in America VIII
be revived: those wonderful times when Louis Kos
suth rode up Broadway; when the young Prince of
Wales was here; when Jenny Lind sang IN Castle tie
congregation by selling slaves in his pulpit; when
Grant went round the world; when Henry Clay babe
e Th w
orable events and others will be wildly recalled,
told graphically than ever before, and illustrat-
ed with pictures which have occupied twelve artists
over year A third series is unique and valuable
from the fact that it will give women scores of ideas
for their homes. 1t will reveal what there is Inside
produce pictures of one hundred completely
ed rooms in homes in this country-from Maine to
Cafornia-where taste has gone farther than money.
lively engaged by the JOURNAL: Mrs. S. T. Rorer,
who will hereafter have charge OF thedomestic de-
Partment and give series Of cooking lessons and ,
Dwight l.. Moody, the famous evangelist, who is to
partment entitled MIR. Moody's Bible Glass" The
artist, Charles Dana GIBSON, VINO created the Gibson
girl, will present six full page pictures showing "The
People OF Dickens" while Alice Barber Stephens
will alternate with Mr. Gibson and present her idea
OF "Six Types of American Womanhood," showing
the American woman in society," in religion, in bust
ness, in summer, in the home, and as mother,
Mary E. Wilkins, the New England writer, will re-.
vive the old quilting the ancient singing school
and the appe,psring bee in The pieasures 6 OF our
study read and present shakespeare in Small Com
munities." Philip Sousa has written waltz, while
Ira ID. Sankey has composed hymn which he con.
siders greater than his famous ''Ninety and Nine.
Ian Maclaren will have story, while Herbert D:
Wards numerous seyeal, "The Burglar Who Moved
Paradise" will run through the year Jenny Lind s
daughteris to sketch my Mother as Recall Her,
while George w. Smalley is to show The Personal
Side of the Prince Of Wales" in lavisly-lustrated
article II it has become a fad it seems for every
girl and woman take this magazine, 1t is an excel
lent one, and unlike many other tads sensible one
The JOURNAL is published by The Curtis PUBLISH
ing Company, of Philadelphia.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02

Tea leaves, stepped for half an hour,
then strained through sieve, are very
good for cleaning vanished pants. The
tea acts as a powerful detergent, but the
leaves must never be used to clean paint
that is unvarnished.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02
A Wonderful Discovery.

The last quarter of century records
many wonderful discoveries in medicine,
but none that have accomplished more for
humanity than that sterling old household
remedy, Browns Iron Bitters. 1t seems to
contain the very elements of good health,
and neither man, woman or child can take
it without deriving the greatest benefit.
Browns Iron Bitters is sold by all dealers.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1899-03-02

If YOU have a cough, throat irritation,
weak lungs pain in the chest, difficult breath
ing, Group or hoarseness, let US suggest one
Minute Cough Cure. Always reliable and
safe las X. Waters.