Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1899-03-30
C0aKlnl.G GOOD STORIES.
GENUiNE FUN SEEMED UP ~
SHORT S7cslE1.
rat Lament over the Hardship 81 r.
Friead's Having 70 Take supply
ef Coal With Eisa.

tie Atlantic frIeaa CT his "a no WAS
also a saii0r. died. Pat l.aa known
him in the ed eog1 Try II IS the Gus
ION when q person dies at saa To se9
the body Bp in sack. hang 2 weight
to il % ma35e il SINK, aEd crop it over
hoard wita prayer. Well when
0Aourke afd they Ind Eo sio
weight U T.Ia so had Is PHI 81 1850 s
three liz Jumps OF coal ins1oad }'
was there % see The last Of ms ff8ec8
When the sack was lowered info ta,
water Par said wiih tears I'll his EYES
"Oi always knew 0'Ronrke 10 be
bad man, and Ci often tosd him where
he was goin ph a he doid hut 81
didn't tiak he'd have Io take his own
coal wild him.
physician and his friend Were
standing on tie street corner Of a Nir-
ginia town where they W Ne spending
a few days. Their attention was
amusingly arrested ~ the sight of an
old darSy belaboring the tanks OF a
mule in vain persuasion TO make
him move on. At last the doctor was
appealed to.
Say, boss, I'll give you five dollahs
eff you'n make dis hyar mule go"
With a sly wink the physician
opened his ease and took out his ny
podermic syringe, filed the needle
with an acid and sent it into the hind
quarters of the mule. The effect was
magical With a Wild plunge the
mule went tearing the street. with
the darkey after him and the by
ISLANDERS roaring with laughter \
short time afterward the darky. dust
covered and painting. approached
again.
..Ga4- l,cs- l,ov-- ,,.,,i - - y
of dat stun-yo' done squht-in dat
on" said the doctor. about IL
cents"
Down went tbs darky's hands into
his jeans pockets. lie fished our two
dimes
"Hyah. boss-am 20 cents. wish
yo' would squht-twice as much Of
dat. stuff into me-'case Use bound
to catch dat mule"
Foote praiSing the hospitality of the
Irish, after one of his trips to the sis
ter kingdom, IA gentleman asked him if
he had ever been at Cork. no, sir"
replied Foote, but have seen many
drawings of it,"
At Killarney every visitor hears
some laughable stories Here is one:
A number of boatmen who were quar-
reling about the division OF tips in
dulged at the top OF their voices in 4
good deal Of profane language, which
the marvellous echo repeated verbatim
'Arrah look at that, now. for a sean
dali said one of the party, who was
Of a pioUs turn Of mind Tachin' the
poor harmless echo TO curse and
sware.
The construction Of Prince Bis
marCk's sentences was frequently
portentous. On the occasion to which
l have been particularly referring
says & writer ia the Century. nay com
panion was ais impatient as only an
intelligent woman can lie to secure the
intellectual treat before her and gave
minute instructions 10 her interpreter
All Went well for time. rs the low
voice Of the painstaklng translator
rendered with some adequacy the
thought Of bismarck. Then there We're
short pauses. followed by rapid little
summaries &c what had been said.
As these grew more and more fire.
quent, the lady became irritated Fi
nally there vas an entire cessation on
the part Of thc Interpreter and vet Bis
marck was going right en- with ever
Increasing vehemenee. There were
constant calls from the lady of
.'Wbats lac saying: What's he say
ing and an Increase sc impatience
in the box quite proportionate to the
growing violence Of The sneaker III
nally the wretehed Interpreter could
endure the strain no longer and turn
ing with gesture or fierce resent
ment to his excited employer he
Kissed: Madam. / am waiting for
the verdi"
Baron de Bienzis Che new Italian
ambassador to England viii he much
missed II Madrid. a Spanish admirer
OF the baron sass tina. al Madrid he
was considered tile fue flower of that
old-fashianed courtesy So dear TO
Spanish high life He Hd probably
be amazed a The eee-Ind-eaSy man
Eers of English society ON enc occa-
tried 10 GraV h{m into 8 declaration
on tae subject 80 the 1anSo Spanko'
war, which. 10 Doubt, sie would have
ct CUEe made public "AN Vl~ ne