Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-10-28


right, all right, In tn long run, before they
git under tn wire an you break out think
| in that they couldn't ha' done much diff
rent even If they'd tried t be good.
We'll, I'm not a soft-sOap mark meself
as a generl ting, an wen you want t
pull a weep out o. me you've got t. git a
pair o canal mules and windlass But
say, this female cyclone wit tn hair tn
color o a Tommy Atkins coat had me on
tn run a whole few. She give me tn
throat-clutch an tn spine-thill. an there
was plenty o times wen l made out like
l was a-huntin fer me program beneath
tn seat so 5 tn geeZers mex t me wOuldn't
savvy that 1 had tn wet glisten in me
lamps.
wen these t'eatrfcal dubs begin t chuck
their broken-vofced throbs, wit tn flddlers
in tn orchestra sa win out shivery high
notes, ! allus felt like sayin, 'G'wan, ye
can't drag no 6uakey sobs out o me wit
that kind o game but it was no go fer
me L try t shoot this one into meself at
this Zahzah show. Mrs Terra-Cotta jes
got me on tn tope in tn second act o TIL
piece, an after that you'd ha' tiggercd that
/ was jes' seventeen year old an had jes
put on long dresses. iThey'S one little sken-
elet in tn piece We're this 'Zahzah, who's
been dom stunts in bum beer halls fer a
Twin, stacks up agfn TIL little kid in skirts
that b'longs t tn guy she's mashed on; an
If that little ten minits don't screw tn
wet out O yer lamps worsen ten cents
worth o ammonia, you kin WEIGH cash.
in me ticket. Fealer sittin' mex t me that
uOne DIS many STUNTS on IN farm Ter TSnt-
in as he's got fingers, got tn blubbers
so bad right there that he liked t have
choked t. death a-hoIdin' EN- in sos no.
bodyd pipe him Off an I felt whole heap
sore meseif, If anybodys askn' you.
'Then there's bunch O. talk Were tn
OF Jock, or sumpin' like that, comes a-hop-
PIN around wit bokay an tries t make
it up with this here 'Zahzah after she's
passed him up an got mixed up wit tn
main gezebu O. tn show. Is 1t warm? Say,
tn way she let's out on that shakey oil
f1irtiets, wit his watery grin an his wig
an false teet', is enough t make a grizzly
climb a tree or a fresh cop back into
hallway. She picks up her words like
they was so many 12-pound dumbbens, an
she chucks EN- at him like a juggler throw
in twenty rubber balls again wall Then
she makes fer him like FLY breakin away
from tn post wit a fat-feeted start, an
Jes' Wen you begin t tink that she's goin'
[ knock his block off wit a chair or
hunk off tn mantelpiece, he skates out O.
tn roon-w'ich is jes what I'd do meself
if | was in tn same fix. A mug that'll
take a chanst on lettin' woman wit red
hair poke him wit sofa leg or hot tea
pot has got sumpip' absent from his lid
but this Jock knowed his gait all right ali
correct. an he drilled out o. that.
"Th' hottest Hnekiln in tn show, though,
| Is wen this red-headed Zahzah' gifts on t.
tn fac that her beaus bin doubled up long
before he eve. seen her an that he's about
t hand her tn icy mitt by sneakin' off wit
| his wife an kid fer form parts. w'ich In tn
goin up agin piano-moVer or a duck that
hammers cobbestones in tn street; that's
jeS' eXercis,, an tn worst that kin happen
t you is [ git slugged good an proper. But
say, / wouldn't want t have no red-headed
woman like this Zahzah' git mex t. me fer
handin' her phony line O. goods, an open
up on me like she opens up on her beau in
| this piece. Her eyes look like cats in a.
black cellar, an her red hair stands up like
terriers that sees a snake, an the sugs
an nails an scrap iron that she punches
| into that poor guy that hasn't bin on thu
make him Wisht he'd croaked wen he was
young an vealy.
'Th' last act is one o. these dopey things
that sounds like tn Marine Band a-playin'
soft an low after gee-whangin' away at a
lot O Dutch opreys. It's a long time after
tn red-headed 'Zahzah' has passed I'D tn
chief gezebu an she's got t. be a good
many of a actorine singer. Well he comes
a-snOopin' around an makes stab at win
MIN her all over agin, but, no. nix 1t don't
happen his way She don't hand him tn
cold storage. but she chimes him a lot o.
mellow talk about 1t can never be- an them
days has passed, an I'm older than used
t was, an you're all right, but yon won't
do, an I'm welded t me art an tn OF
pipe-dream's all gone up In smoke; an
then she gives him one finger, an steps
into a hack that's waitin' fer her. am he
o autumn fall on him, an tn curtain comes
down slow an easy, leavin' him there, a.
| wishin he hadn't spoke.
Then everybody breaks out. pretendin'
t. be cheerful On happy an jes' full O.
laugh; but you git mex T. It that tn vim
pouchy underneat, an tn guys wit 'em
are doin whole lot more coughin' an
blowin their noses than there's any need
cessity fer-an' that's T'Zahzah.'"