Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1899-04-15
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Drinkhorn-Huh. Stars that goes, |
see two of you this minute.-Cineinnat
Enquirer.
Wiggins-That was close shave
General Miles had. wasn't it? Higgins
Why, was he shot at? Wiggins-No,
he had his mustache cut off-New
York Journal
yes, sir" said the man in cell I'll;
time was when l was admitted to the
very best houses" And what brought
you hereY They caught me coming
out. '-Tit-Bits.
Doctor don't You think the illnesses
/ of most women are caused by magma
! tion| well, the cut rates on patent
medicines are responsible for a good
many of them"
ive-year-old-Pret useful, amt |,
mamma? Yes, dear" Almost as use
full as a MANI" "Um, yes" Il don't
mean Santa Claus or God, but any or
binary an."-Harlem Life.
Il s'pose you noticed that the war
had quite n religious fiavor? NO; in
what wayT' "All the yachts were con-
verted aud many of the rumors were
confirmed. '-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
A Kansas woman says: "Hard-tac
nicely Drowned over slow fire, and
served hot with melted cheese, is ex-
cellent." Pshaw! Why didn't our sol
dier boys think of that?-Richmon
Times.
And you wouldn't begin a journey
on friday" Not me-" Il can't under
stand how you can have any faith in
such n silly superstition" mo supersti-
ton about it." Saturdays payday
Pick Me Up.
Jack-I don't see why you call her
queer girl just because she told you to
see her papa when you proposed. Algy
-Ia-as; but perhaps you don't know
that her papa has been dead fob five
yeahs.-Judge.
Gerald-Wou that | were glove
that l might hold your hand! Gerald
ine-You would make a good glove,
that's "A fact. Gerald--What do you
mean? Geraldine-YOu are regular
kid.-Bazar.
Now" said the attorney for the de-
Tense, here is a skull. Can you tell us
to what species it belongs?" ITS the
skull of a lawyer" replied the expert
witness. How can you tell?' by the
check -bones."--R Rural Home.
She-But how can you think I'm pref
ty when my nose turns up so dreadful
ly? He-Well, all have to say is, that
1t shows mighty poor taste in backing
away from such a lovely mouth. "-Har-
lem Life.
Philanthroplst-Do you believe In
capital punishment, may ask? Cynic
i certainly don't. why, how's that?"
Because | never yet met man that
| thought it worth while hanging an
other for, Exchange
Customer-Do you think this medl-
cine will have the desired effect? Drug
gist-Oh. yes; I'll guarantee it to work
like a charm. Customer-But / have
no faith in charms. Druggist-Neither
have I.-Chicago News.
iSAI gOut AlICu ANupOps
tically that baby of mine is a wonder.
Think of 1t, only eight months old and
can talk" "Pshawv remarked his
friend, carelessly, I've known some
men that cursed the day they were
born. Brooklyn Life.
"Oh, you needn't talk" said the indg-
nant wife; what would you be to-day
If 1t weren't for my money, I'd like to
know" II really don't know, my dear"
calmly replied the heartless wretch.
but I'm inclined to think | would be-
bachelor. "-Chicago News.
/ Mr.. Hayseed ARRIVING at city hoteD-
/ | s'pose kin hear the gong here when
/ ii rings for dinner, can't l? Clerk-We
| have no gong. We have breakfast from
/ six TO eleven, dinner from twelve to
/ six, supper from six to eleven. Dir.
| Hayseed-Jehoshaph How am | to
git time to see the city?-NeW York
| Weekly.
"You didn't fasten your essay with
a blue ribbon, as you usually do" said
the editor of the magazine. mo" an
swered the contributor; my sense of
harmony wouldn't permit it. This is
an article on the management of the
war. l tied 1t with red tape. "-Wash-
lngton Star.
Casey-Phat? Yez be's a hero " tn
war? PLY, yez niver lift home. Hen
nessy-Thrue. When OF see thin all
a-rushin' t tn front, eyther fer glory err
fer Doodle, SEE Oh to mesilf, "Hinnisy.
me boy, thrue heroism consists In self
denial. Twill be t yer honor t shtay
at home an lit tn other fellys reap tn