The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-06-18
FUNSTON'S GREAT SWIM.
Recklinghoosen Tells How 1t All
Happened Over the Water.
Cincinnati Enquirer,


Dashing Brigadier General Fred
Funston, whose heroic deeds in the
Philippine islands have been exploited
] in the daily press all over this great
| United States for the past few weeks,
was the subject of "cpnversationings at
Recklinghoosens.'
"'Tain'd no use of spoken about him,
but dat Fritz Won Stohn is a bravery
snoldier,'' was the opener by Reckling-
hoosen. Its Deutschland Offer all No
wonder tose Phillipspeanuts want to sue
in day courthouse for pieces venn sutsk
like braferies is SHOWN to dem like Fritz
did"
WHAT'S loose now again." interrupt
ed Birberle Are you seek, oder ain d
your healthiness so good no more? How
you maig oud hees a Deutcher mid
sutsk names like Won Stohn. Hees
name ain'd dat tall; it's Funs On
Oats righd oh. OATS oil righd,' ex-
claimed RecklinghoOsen. You yoost hit
day head on day nail, OATS What he
maid
What is it he maid?" asked BIN
berle.
You yoost said it What he did" re-
piled Recklinghoosen. He maid day
fun on When day fun it begind mid day
Phillipspeanuts."
"Questshon me how din he done. dem
COulu i IOle you IL Dc yet Dtl-
ter" replied Recklinghoosep. He din
Wait for no constructions in dip low
mattics. Nix kommeraus!"
Vat he did did denn? Did he vent
und askeded Ackina lido for promiskon
to spooch mid him y" exasperatedly
asked Bimberle.
''Litsten und 1 told it on you how he
didet it," gravely responded Reckling-
hoosen. .Fairst he knocked on day
bamboozle poles houses vitsk lifting
in Ackinaldos mems mid DER bad Wis
ors. 'Hereini' it said behind day inside
some Won, You know herein dat means
in Spanish Come in voncen Den venn
Won Stohn order Funs On. like you
calls him. vent in, he askeded day man
What wore a whole chirt on him, to sir
ender 'Nefer!' said Aquayaconolombo
so long like river Pillows apast us
Is it You What representative Ack-
inaldo?' askeded Won Stohn.
81 sinyore, said Aquayaconolombo
ISL sinyore, dat means in Jewnited
Staatses lankwidge jass. sir), was the
explanation offered by Recklinghoosen.
Dem for day twicest times l axis
you TO sir ender in day name Won day
Jewnited Staatses,' said Won Stohn.
Non. non, sinyore!' mon. non, sin
yorei dat means nossir), said Aquaya-
conolombo; not so long like it pillows
DAY RIVER dpdSC US.
Dem to day hotel mid yous Phil
under day river said Won
Stohn.
He hollered out on his snoldiers.
Come ahett, fellersi' und he und hees
whole REGIMENT svimmed in day riffer
dis day vas Offer mid der unionforms
on on day odder side"
Mid der unionforms on?" incredu-
lousy inquired Bimberle.
"Jass, mid 'em all on. besides vitsk
yet day he'd DER gunses. pitsolses.
zaberses und odder Oppertunences on
yet. und catritches in DER belts around
DER shoulders replied Recklinghoosen.
"Oh, dem no wonder is it day maig
sutsk spokenings aloud him. Veil. I'm
annahow klad he's a Americans man,
because odder Snoldiers couldn' do /,
dat"
"Oh jass day could" interrupted !
Won Stohn Harmed !
lat in Deutschland"
'Tain'd nodding so; he it's is a !
zubject Won day kaiser" holly rejoined |
Bimberle. He is a Jewnited Staatser |
von Kantis. und venn he cooms back |
lay Kantzisers Won't built him a house,
out day'll gift him day whole shdate, !
lat What day'll do mid Funs On
'Recklinghoosen." said Amzwitcheer.
you should yet know less than dan
'ayen dat Funs On is Won Jewrope be-
,ause of he vas he wouldn't svimmed
lay river ofer: he would been so full
ron bair dat day whole REGIMENT would
loated over"