The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-04-02
THE FAMOUS EASTER MENAGERIE.
A Lion, a Wolf, a Fox, IN Hobby Horse
and CapricOrnus Americans
Slang Each Other.

"A
and CapricOrnus Americans
Slang Each other.
BY r. W. McAlpine.
One morning at breakfast Uncle Bob cleo
trffied the family by saying: This after
noon we should have a matinee. You know
It's a morning performance that always
takes place after dinner Well, I've en-
gagged a talented lecturer to tell about the
animals-all that he knows, and ever so
much more As it's Easter Monday you
can get ever so many of your
young friends to come. Al the matinee we
shan have, for the first time, the Peckan
cuck Hen with teeth, which belongs to a
Scotch IIollander living in a garnet cellar
up stairs under an overtaker's shop. 1t is
q rare bird, and feeds on nothing but pick
led cells feet
The matinee legan at $50 p. m. sharp,
and the menagerlc space was crowded. The
lecturer, a big bury man with much beard
all over his face was introduced from the
platform by Uncle Fob and at once entered
upon the discharge of his duties.
First and foremost, ladies and gentle
men" said the lecturer, gravely, Il can
your attention to the spotted horse of the
Staked Plain, which, in a steeple chase or
hurdle race is always hindmost. 1t is the
property of young Mr.. Bart Biddle, one
of our company perhaps the only eques-
trian in the world of the same name that
can ride 1t"
How did he know it was my hobby"
whispered Bart to Josie.
"Sh-sh--'' Kissed everybody, while the
rest laughed.
IN the next stall was a horned animal
that had an impudent look out of his snap
nv eyes. and moved his jaws rapidly as
though to spite somebody.
This" said the lecturer, lis the Capri
cornus Americans which"
"Oi think it has the looks o Missus
Doogan's billygoat," said visitor In
white cap. "Ay there was another loike
him here, you'd hear him.
Then there broke upon the stiffness of
the quiet air the tones of a singular voice
that seemed to come from nowhere. 1t
SPOKE in anger.
You know very well that I'm fox"
said the voice. II think they might put
you in some other part of the show, IL
you are a wolf-which I don't believe"
1t was DIR. Grimshaw's foxhound talk
ing. The visitors crowded up to the cor
ner and the foxhound barked his familiar
bark and looked as innocent as though he
had never said a word. Next door to him
was Mr.. PoTters large shepherd dog, not
ell for his intelligence and unchanging
amiability. Without moving a muscle of
his face. without turning his head. and,
indeed, without opening his mouth, he
replied to his neighbor in a way that pro-
Vcked astonishment.
You ill-bred curt You jealous molass-
es candy-colored museum freak! Because
can laugh in three languages and keep
my temper, and never worry sheep, or
snap at children, or snore In my sleep,
np o6o1y at l.,
at street sparrows, you want me moved.
Tshr'
In the very next stall-which was cage
with wooden slats-was a lion. 1t was not
real live lion, but a large lion carved
from block of stone. 1t was from grand
pas garden. It stood In a shady part of
the show space, so that when it spoke
which it did-nobody could see whether it
moved its lips or not. First the lion roar
ed a kind of SHORTY roar Indicating anger
and triumph at one and the same time.
Inc roar was not on especially terrible
roar nor was 1t blood-curdling or hair
CURING. So the visitors to the menagere
didn't rush away in fright. They only
STAYED and wondered and watched and
waited
Say. your said the lion. "Roth #
YOU. One of you is a fox and the other
IS wolf, and you both know 1t. What are
You quarrelng and splitting hairs about?
Retter hitch up to q baby wagon and plav
morse. You're worse than hackyhoobies. :"
what's hackyhoobies?' squawked a
speckled guinea-fowl in the next compart-
ment
'Hackyhoobies said the lion. "are first
cousins TO guinea-hens, and wear paper
collars on their ankles to cure the Group
Know en- They used to do my laundry
work"
Here the racket started again.
But what will you think when I tell you
mat Barts spotted hobbyhorse had some
thlng TO say? Actually delivered himself
or several forcible remarks, while standing
sun on his rockers, seemingly as
inpassive as though carved in alabaster?
You ought to be ashamed of ourselves"
sad the hobbyhorse. Birds in their little
n'stesses ought TO agree. cause if they
cont they'll fall out an so'n foxes an
things Go home to your mammas"
s. ne visitors We're more than astonished
Sore OF them were, as Tom expressed it.
hahbergdsted. That lions and foxes and
"oaves, and hobbyhorses should speak as
good English as the hearers themselves
was something surprising None of the
many visitors seemed more puzzled than
Mr.. Ottwell ELEPHANT, friend of Uncle
Harry's, who had been an interested spec
tator aud listener
At tea time 1t leaked out that Uncle
Harry had played lecturer in disguise, and
that Mr. Ottiwell Olyphant was out Of the
hest centriloquists in the country.
But this is a secret, understand" said
grandpa.