The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1899-09-09
GEORGES PA
And Emperor william-His Duties
DescantOd Upon.

anu emperor WAllluul-11ib DNbiO9
Descantod Upon.
Chicago Tlmes-Herald: That's q
Job some people might like" paw sed
when we was setttn around wuttin fer
1t to Git Time to 30 to bed mite before
last ''But thare's WHARF thay don't
no what the Contract calls for"
what Job is that?" NAV asst.
''Beln Emperor" says paw. Look
at Willie over thare In Gesmunny. Say,
that Boy works overtime rite along
without extry pay, and He don't 81.
menny Saturday afternoons on, nell
Their"
why" nav Told him, "I thot kings
and queens and Emperors dIden't hiatt
to Do nuthin but sine state papers thay
never rcd and ride around in the park
to git nappstlte for dinner"
THAT shows I done wise not goin in
fer Diplomatic career after married
YOU" paw says. You'd make nice
wife Of a Forren council with all your
ignorance Of sleh affares, wouldent
you? spoSen was Hired by the Gov
erment, tho, and was Sent over to Bur-
lin to See the Emperor about Glttln
Him to report the DreyEus trial or the
yot race er somethin like that fer a
New York paper. I'd go up to the
pullus and ring the Bell, and purity
sune u servant would come, and I'd
say:
Good mornen. Is the Emperor in7"
"'No. the survant would say, he
has gone out alraddy'
Where is he?" I'd asst
az furgIt whether he's openln d ca
nal or Unvallln Statue Of his grand
fawther this mornIn'" the survant
would answer,
Then I'd go In and set Down and
waite. Purity soon the Emperor would
come hurryln In. dressed rs kernel OF
the Yoolans, After we would shake
Hands he would say:
"You must Excuse Mc for u few
minutes. l got to present NEEDLE
to a Teller what belongs to Friendly
Power. He's wnltIn out In the hall"
$50 he goes Into the Bed room and
purity soon he comes out in the younl-
form Of a Drum Major In the Rooshen
Army, and Goes in and pins the med
die on to the man from the friendly
Power, and then Comes back. and /
start to tell Him what want. and He
looks at His Watch and hollers:
"Holy smoke! Here 1t is a quarter
past ten nlreddy. must go and lay
the corner stone of chewing gumrfac-
try. Here's the family album full of
pictures OF Me what you kin look at tn
I git back"
'Then he dresses himself up like a
Judge Of the Scoop ream court, and hur-
ries out so he won't miss the next Car.
When he comes back ne only list has
Time to dress up as admiral and Go
to IAwnch new tug bots. Then It's
Time to get hts pIekture taken In six
styles, and That takes him twenty
nlnitu. 80 when He gifts thrOo he makes
4 speech to the assembled muItttood,
sayin;
my deer chlldrun, there's only one
thing you got to do to bs tho greatest
on erth. That's pay your taxes
and Remember that Thare's Ilst one
reel thing worth while in this World,
and I'm It. Always remember It's me
That gives tho word when the whtssci
blows, and you'll be Happy France has
u graft army. want to sea that sho
in Parua next year
Then thay heller back, Hook, Hook
a few times, and the hired gurl says
dinners reddy.
WELL" NAV says, you mite tell
him what you Want while he's eatin."
NO" paw told her, that's one Of
the JBlzzlest Times In the Day fer him
While the meelis going on he has to pose
fer a hust OF Himself and Dlcktate the
musiek OF an opory to Three tiDc RI
tiers. When he's thru eaten he puts
on the younltorm' OF a colonel OF the
cotdstrcem CARDS aud goes out and wins
u yot race from tho prince Of Walls
and TRkOn Turst Prize In Bhut0u
match. on his way home he unvuIla
three monuments Of His grandmother
and sends Friendly Messages TO the
Forren potentnltE.
well, list sit started to tell him
what drop, around fer when the clock
strikes g. and he Jumps up and Ia Gone,
Purity soon he comes out OF the Closet
in the younlrOrm Of Turkish paHhaw
and snyui
EXCUSE me- got TO rite u letter to