Blue-grass blade., 1899-02-19
Our First Letter From Editor
Moore.
Columbus Ohio, Feb. 8, 1899.

III you all could sec me Just as an
fixed here don't believe you would
say IL Is such a dreadful thing to bt
in the penitentiary.
am sitting at nice desk, with
great big Russian leather cushioned
chair that swings around nicely, ant
just have pencils and paper ant
ink and stamps and envelopes galore
and the beauty OF IL all is that oul
Uncle Samuel has TO put up tb'
simoleons for II all
II is nothing more nor less than
am Assistant Superintendent OF th'
printing Office of the "Ohio Peniten
tiary News"
There is nothing in the world the
matter with this place except that
the Superintendent is named Coffin
and I have laid down the law to him
to the effect that | will have him
discharged unless he gets the legis-
lature to change his name'at its very
next session or get him job as an
undertaken which would be more in
consonance with his name.
I had to make little kick about
the dinner today-not that 1t was
not good enough, for we had plenty
OF nice vegetables and good beef and
nice coffee--but they piled enough on
my plate to last me for week three
times day, as If the fellow thought
/ never had had anything to eat be-
fore, and the hole / ate in it was
about like a mouse had gnawed In q
big Christmas cake.
The waiter was incorrigible though
and said that was what he was order
ed to do, in that particular dining
room and he did not dare to disobey
orders. SO that ] am going to steal
me small plate aud carry it in my
pocket and if do eat all that fellow
gives me aud fiud it prison regu-
lation that / have to eat it or bust ]
win take IT. in "on the installment
plan.
AS to my dress l have suit SO
much like Major General in the
Confederate Army that If you will
send me about 10 or Is yards of gold
lice, will look so much like old
Gen. Bob Lee, whiskers and all, that
if / get tired OF. this job | will some
day just walk out BY the guard and
maze him give me the military salute
aud go up to Washington and see
Charlie and Helen and the Baby, and
Lucille, and make Billy Mack make
me division commander Of the
United States Army and Dewey and
Otis simply won't be in it.
The Superintendent Of this print
ing Office gives me pass to 20 to
see the warden whenever ! want to
and altogether l have never been
treated with more distinguished
kindness in my life.
When first got here l had to be
put for that night, as it was night
when l got here, among the common
convicts and quite number of them
knew about me and the BLADE, and
though l suppose the large majority
OF the boarders are Christians / find |
it is a lot of poppycock that won't
hold water-hardly hold corn shucks
about there being no Infidels in
the penitentiary.
Since Deacon Ingersoll has heard
that Uncle Sam has given me this
he seems not to want
any OF it in hisen and he is giving
the Christian brethren good lot Of
tsffy lately.
And though l think my Job here
was instigated by Christian preju-
dice, when / remember how those
good Catholic nuns in Porto Rico
stood by our dear boy through his
long illness, and wrote you those
beautiful letters about him and see
how kind these Christian people
here are to me l am going to let up
On them a whole lot and try to forget
bhe bad ones and love and taffy the {
good ones just as far as my con-. {
science will allow me.
l want to beat Prof. Rucker by |
him, now that he has done {
III that he can do against me, and l I
I'm going to forgive him and say
1ind things about him just for mean g
ness to show that my heathen re-
igion is better than his particular
1ariety Of Christianity. ,
Tom Paine said ITO do good is my /.
aud l believe it is NIP and :
uck between that and the "Golden
aule, (" for moral pre-eminence in all '
he utterances that ever fell from
ongues and lips-not "human lips" a
Q they commonly say-because Baa-
ans saddle horse and that famous = :
make that talked Hebrew, are dead \