davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-04-04

Peter Foote, long since dead, used tc
be a police magistrate in Chicago.
Foote was intensely Irish and loved tc
show it.
One day a dudishly attired young fell
low calling himself Frederick Edwards,
and plainly betokening by his speech
that he hadn't been long from the
shores of England, was arraigned before
the justice charged with lounging about
the parks. When he was arrested, he
showed fight and had to be dragged tc
the patrol box.
"'E 'urted me feelin's badly, your
worship" said the prisoner when in the
dock the following morning. "E 1T me
on the sole of me flute am
81 don't think you've any feelings in
your soul" growled the sympathizer OF
downtrodden Ireland. "And, another
thing, you must remember you're in
America now. In England you object tc
an Irishman wearing the green. Here
we object to Englishmen lying on it; 81
and COSTS" And the justice pinched
himself to look u-nconcerned while the
Briton begged the clerk to cut the fine
down to a "bob. Chicago Chronicle.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-04-04
Effect of an ''H.''

A cockney whose name was Ogton,
which he. following the usage of his
class, pronounced Hogtown. settled at
the beginning of the present century in
the city of New York, where he did
business as a trader. His prefixing of
the h was the occasion of a postofice
story which Dunlap, the author of the
"History of the Arts of Design" tells
Before the clerks of the postofice
knew Ogton he called day after day to
inquire if there were ''any letters for
John Hogtown."
"None, sir, was the invariable an
swer.
every strange" said he, feeling I'M
easy about the goods he had ordered
he had remitted.
One day after the usual question,
"Any letters for John HogtownP" his
eye, following the clerk, noticed that
he was looking among the letters begin
ming with h.
"'Ollo," cried he, "what are you
looking there forf l said John Hog
town"
81 know it, sir, and I am looking for
John Hogtown, and there's nothing for
you"
may, nayl" shouted John. Don't
look among the matches; look among
the hoes" And among the O's were
found a pile of letters addressed to John
Ogton, which had been accommodating
for many a week.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-04-04

We have all met people whose pride
in their own possessions is SO great that
they can see no charms in those of 9th
ers. A young botanist was showing a
party of ladies and gentlemen through
a conservatory and explaining to them
the properties of some of the choicest
plants. Among the visitors was a would
be young looking, middle aged lady
who at every description volunteered
the statement that the plants and flow
ers she had at home were quite the
equal of anything here or indeed any
where.
Just as they were passing a giant
cactus she was heard to exc!aim:
"Well, this is nothing extraordinary.
l have a cactus at home that is still
larger. l planted and reared it myself. .
Reared it yourself !" the professor
gently observed. "How remarkable
This specimen is So years old, and il
yours is still larger
The lady did not stay to hear any
more, but executed a strategic move
ment to the rear.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-04-04
Eggs and Germs.

It was formerly thought that an egg
must be safe eating whatever the sur
roundings, since its shell covered com
pletely the part eaten, but it has now
been shown Enthusiastically that germs Of
disease can even find their way through
an eggshell. For instance, the typhus
bacillus and the cholera bacillus have
both been found to make their way
through an unbroken eggshell in about
Is hours and locate themselves in the
nutrient contents.
This is a clear Indication, therefore,
that the greatest care should be exer-
cised in the storage and handling of
eggs, since they may thus be made We
hicles for most deadly poisons. Doubt
less the immunity from such evils which
we enjoy in our use of eggs as food is
due to the fact that we generally cook
them in a high temperature before we
eat them and thus deal death to the
germs and safety to ourselves. Good
Words.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-04-04
THE PROFESSORS ADVICE
1t Was Followed, but 1t Spoiled tn
Next Recitation.

1t Was Followed, but 1t Spoiled the
Next Recitation.
They tell this story of a college prank
the boys at Princeton played on Profess
or "Winky" Young, professor of as
tronomy. His recitations were recently
held the first thing in the morning, and
he had to admonish the students in his
division to correct the fault of tardi-
ness, which he claimed was increasing
in a lamentable manner. and when one
of the students explained that they all
studied so late at night they were apt
to oversleep in the morning he kindly
advised them to secure alarm clocks,
which he said were one of the most val
liable and useful inventions.
The next day nearly every student in
the class came into recitation with an
alarm clock in his pocket. which by pa
tient and united effort were set so that
one would go off promptly at every sue
cessive minute Of the hour. The effect
can be imagined. Shortly after the first
student was called to recite one of the
clocks in the pocket of a boy at the 9TH
er end of the room went off with a ter
rible clamor. and before it had finished
a second in another part of the room
made even a louder racket.
There was a brief interval. which the
professor utilized to call up another stu
dent, but the latter was scarcely on his
feet before the third clock went Oft The
performance was continued for half an
hour or more, when the professor, who
had a keen sense of humor. recognized
the situation and cut short the fun by
terminating the recitation. The boys
explained that they had followed his
advice and secured alarm clocks, which
they were carrying around with them
because they were likely to fall asleep
at most any time.-St. Louis Globe
Democrat.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-04-04
No neadhends There.

/ heard a good story that comes from
a little town in the northern part Of
the state: Among the members of the
Methodist church at that place is an
old railroad conductor who has been
retired from the business for ten years
or more. During the morning service
at his church not many Sundays ago
the old railroader was called upon by
the minister to assist in taking up the
collection-one Of the stewards who
usually helped in hat work being abb
sent.
The retired railroader started down
the aisle with the contribution basket
and passed it around like an old hand
at the business. Everything passed off
smoothly until he came to a good old
brother who had nodded himself fast
asleep, and just as he was about to pass
by him he was suddenly overcome by
the force of habit acquired in his rail
road days. Giving the sleeping brother
a dig on the shoulder with the basket,
he blurted out:
"Ticket, pleaseI'-Ohio State Jour
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-04-04
The Drawback.

Beardman was a writer of plays, ulti-
mately fairly well known in his day.
For nearly 20 years he struggled and
fought his way along without meeting
with any very pronounced success, each
play in turn proving more or less of a
failure. At last, however, he produced
a play that really caught the public
taste. He and the famous Sheridan
happened to be present together on the
opening night. All went we'll Success
followed success. and applause greeted
and ended each scene. At the end of the
second act Beardman's elation got the
better of his discretion, and, leaning
over toward Sheridan-as usual, toe
witty to be merely sympathetic-he ex-
claimed:
Sheridan, Sheridan, it's going to
be a success, a complete SUGGEST"
"Ah, yes, murmured Sheridan, with
exquisite compassion in his voice. ''too
bad, too badl'
"Too badf" stammered his friend,
completely taken off his guard. why
too bad that it should prove a success 2
Because now, retorted Sheridan,
it'll take you another 20 years to CON
vince any one you wrote it. Town
TODics.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-04-04
His other Son.

"My niece Mary was always a well
meaning girl, but she would say the
wrong thing almost every time" said
one old gentleman to another, ''and
she's got a boy that's going to be her
very counterpart"
The old gentleman's eyes twinkled,
and his ugly, good natured face was
puckered with enjoyment as he drew
from his pocketbook a small sheet of
note paper.
81 sent Hal a toy monkey that plays
all kinds of pranks when it's wound
up" said he, chuckling. "Now you
listen to this letter of thanks / got from
him. He's just 8 years old:
"DEER UNCLE ned am delited with the
munkey, thank you. He makes me think OF
you very often. And whenever mamma winds
him up, and he begins to jump, mamma and ]
feel as if We were back at your house where
all those toys are, and mamma will look at the
munkey and say, That's your Uncle Ned all
over Goodbye from your greatfull
"HAL."
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-04-04
The Business of a Theater.

A prosperous theater in the city o.
New York may in a favorable season
do a business of more than $3.50. 00(
and keep in employment 100 persons.
There are 81 theaters, including the va
riety houses, in active operation in the
boroughs of Manhattan and the Bronx,
while the borough of Brooklyn adds a
score or more. Everything which affects
business in general affects the theatel
Immediately
A nan will reduce his expenditure
for tickets to places of amusement long
before he thinks Of cutting down his
supply of cigars. for the cigar belongs
to that class of luxuries which subtly
become n~ecessaries, while the theate1
habit, as any observant manager will
tell you, requires constant cultivation
The management of a theater is there
fore an occupation requiring business
sagacity in a greater degree than il
calls for artistic taste. w. j. Hender-
son in S%cribner's.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-04-04

A wreck at sea is not the only place
where a life line is of importance.
There is a life line for the sick, as we'll as
for the drowning man. 1t is DR.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery. 1t is not a
cure-all, but it is a scientific medicine that
goes to the fountain head of a number of
serious and fatal diseases. When a man
gets seriously sick, he can generally be
cured by the right course of treatment.
The treatment that cures many obstinate
chronic diseases consists of pure air, good
food, rational exercise, and the use of a
remedy that will strengthen the weak
stomach, correct the impaired digestion,
invigorate the liver and promote the as
similation of the live-giving elements of
the food. The Golden Medical Discov-
cry &" accomplishes all these things.
"a young man lay pale and motionless upon
what neighbors called his dying bed. Disease
of the lungs, liver complaint, kidney trouble, and
pleurisy were fast fastening him to the grave.
neighbors said, he cannot live oh, 1 would
not care to die, he said, were 1t not for leaving
my dear wife and little child, but I know that !
must die A brother had presented him with
three bottles of medicine, but he had no faith ID
patent medicines but, after the doctors had
gwen him up to die and he had banished every
hope of recovery, he said to his wife, dear wife,
I am going to die, there can be no harm now in
taking that medicine. / will begin Its use al
once He did begin to use II and at hrst he
grew worse, but soon there came a change
Slowly but surely he got better. To-day that
man Is strong and healthy and he owes his life
to that medicine. What was the medicinef II
was DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery, and
Pierce, / thank you from the very depth of my
heart, for reacuirR me from the grave The
foregoing is from Luther Martin, Esq, a promi
nent citizen of Lubec, Wood Co, W. Va.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-04-04

The Successful Remedy I or Nasal Catarrh
must be non-irritating, easy of applica-
ton, and one that will by its own action
reach the infiamed and diseased surfaces.
ELY'S CREAM BALM combines the
important REQUESTS of quick action and
specific curative powers with perfect safe
ty to the patient. This agreeable remedy
has mastered catarrh as nothing else has,
and both physicians and patients freely
concede this fact. All druggists cheer
fully acknowledge that in it the acme Of
Pharmaceutical skill has been reached
The most distressing symptoms quickly
yield to it. In acute cases the balm i'm
parts almost instant relief.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-04-04
Secret of the Telephone Discovery.

Secret of the Telephone Discovery.
Professor Alexander Graham Bell is
reported to have explained in a lecture
how he came to invent the telephone as
follows:
"My father invented a symbol by
which deaf mutes could converse, and
finally l invented an apparatus by
which the vibrations of speech could be
seen, and it turned out to be a tele-
phone. 1t occurred to me to make a
machine that would enable one to hear
vibrations. l went to an aurist, and he
advised me to take the human ear as
my model. He supplied me with a dead
mans ear, and with this ear l expert
mented, and upon applying the appa-
ratus l found that the dead mans ear
wrote down the vibrations.
81 arrived at the conclusion that if l
could make iron vibrate on a dead
mans ear l could make an instrument
more delicate which would cause those
vibrations to be heard and understood.
l thought if 1 placed a delicate piece of
steel over an electric magnet 1 could
get a vibration, and thus the telephone
was completed.
1.-The telephone arose from my at
tempts to teach the deaf to speak. 1t
arose from my knowledge, not of cleo
tricity, but as a teacher of the deaf.
Had | been an electrician | would not
have attempted it Electrical World.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-04-04
LOWELL SHOW THE WAY.

When the ole world seems so gloomy en- the
skies amt lookin bright,
When 1t seems ez dark in daytime en- ez lone
some ez at night,
1t seems ez if a ray o. lights a kinder strug-
glin through
When you think O. some ole friend you know'n
shake the hand O. you.
When you think about the dark spots O. the
times that ulster be,
En- gain at the future all is lonesome that you
see,
There's one time when your mind gifts on tc
happy thoughts awhile,
En- that's when mem'ry shows you that ole
s~weetheart's happy smile.
So I jist don't keer how lonely past er future
looks to you,
You'll allus find somehow the skies'n turI
from gray to blue,
You'll allus find them lightin up, don't keel
how dark the day,
En- when they light you'll allus find it's love
that shows the way.
Edward Singer in Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-04-04
OverdiplOmatfc.

Mr.. Meekton was gazing at his wife
with that inane and amiable fxety
which comes into a mans face when he
has been mapping and is ashamed OF
the fact.
"Leonidas, she said sternly.
"What is it, my dear }" he inquired
as he Strengthened himself up in his
sleepy hollow chair.
"What is the matter 2"
Nothing is the matter, he said,
growing red in the face. 81 haven't in
timated that there was anything wrong,
have II"
mo But you have been behaving
rather queerly. Just nov you gave a
little start and exclaimed, Yes, Hen
rietta, l agree with you perfectly
"Well, answered he, apprehensive'
ly, there ism anything in that to take
exception to, is there2"
"Are You sure you meant itf"
every word of 1t"
"You had given the matter due CON
sideration before you spoken"
Certainly. Do you doubt me, Hen
riettaT"
"Oh, no. But I can help attaching
some significance to the fact that ]
hadn't uttered a word during the ten
minutes previous to your enthusiastic
Endorsement of my sentiments"
"Well, to tell the truth, Henrietta, ]
had been asleep, and something awoke
me, and l naturally supposed-that is tc
say, l took it for granted And Their
he gave it up.-Washington Star.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-04-04
Treating LOckiaw,

Recently a young man in New Jer-
sey was treated successfully for tetanus
by the injection of serum into the
brain. That is not the method of treat
ing lockjaw out in Missouri. Several
years ago a citizen of Liberty, Mo-, was
suffering from tetanus. Local physi-
clans failed to relieve him, and DIR.
Wood of Kansas City. a gruff old gem
tleman, vas called. Arriving at the
home of the patient he found the room
full of sympathizing neighbors. The
physician proceeded toward the sick
man and remarked, "Why in -
don't you shut your mouth" at the
same time giving him a severe ''chuck"
under the chin. The effect of the blow
caused the mouth to close, and the
man soon recovered Post.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-04-04
THE TICKLE SEA.

WIT has heard the cod line singing DER the
bowf
Who has hauled the flashing prey across the
vale?
Who has felt the wet brine singing on the
brow
When the boat is all a-stagger meath the galef
Who has laid him in the sagging of the sail
While the masthead's nodding sleepy to the
moon,
And has slumbered till the stars grow dim
and pale?
Fill your bumpersl Join the chorus of my
crooni
Oh, the tickle, Tuning, frolic fretting seal
Oh, the limpid, tapping, laughter loving sea.
We who love her fill our glasses
To the best of all the lasses,
And we drink a briny bumper to the sea,
Who has lain upon the sloping deck awashf
Who has hauled and clewed and chanted in
the wind?
Who has watched the mainmast bending nigh
a-crash,
Who has leaned against the creaking, jolting
wheel
Through a moonlit summer night on south
ern scar
Who has felt the old sea longing that 1 feelf
Fill your bumpers, men. and shout aloud
with mel
Oh, the singing, signing, salty scented seal
Oh, the rushing, roaring. ramping, raging seal
On your feet and clash your glasses.
"To the best beloved of lasses-
Here's a trimming. briny bumper to the seal"
Richard Stillman Powell in Criterion.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-04-04
No Poached Eggs For Her.

There is an old lady in a charming
out of the way village whose opinions
of ''artist chaps and 'Lunnon ways
are amusing.
On one occasion a wandering knight
of the brush secured a nights lodging
at her cottage.
Early next morning he was asked
what he would like for breakfast.
"Oh," was the reply, ga couple of
eggs will do-poached, mind you"
"Beg pardon, sir
81 said a couple of eggs. poached, "
repeated the artist in a louder tone.
The old lady stiffened her back,
opened the door and pointed out into
the road.
"Clear out O. my housed" she com
manded. "I'd have you know as 1 re-
spects my neighbours property, and
amt no poacher. Sich goings on may
do in Lunnon, but they won't do in
Loamshire."
The artist e~ndeavored to explain, but
the lady would not listen, and he did
not break his fast in that house.
painters was allus a bad lot" were
the last words he heard before she shut
the door behind him, ''but gettin hon
est fowk to poach eggs for EMS quite
a new dodge. London Telegraph.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-04-04
However slow some businesses may be
the growler is sure to be rushed.


housekeeping
If a woman is in good health there is NJ
more healthful employment than house
work. Generally speaking, there is ne
happier woman in the world. But how
different when every breath is pain, every
step torture This state of health, in Mint
cases out of ten, comes from arrangement.
of the delicate feminine organs of genera
ton. The family doctor inquiries first con
corning these. He most usually insists upor
an examination" From this the modest
woman naturally shrinks. She is right
Except in very unusual cases of 'ffemal'
weakness examinations are unnecessary
DR.. Pierce's Favorite Prescription is &
simple, natural remedy for these ills. Il
cures safely permanently.
Send 81 one-cent stamps to cover cost O.
mailing only, and receive free a copy o.
DR.. Pierce's Medical Adviser. Address
Worlds Dispensary Medical Association.
Buffalo, N. Y.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-04-04
COrOnialf

This word is used throughout the
Australian colonies in connection with
a %coroner's inquiry. 1t does not figure
in any dictionary that 1 am aware of
not ever in Professor Morris "Austral-
English" 1t seems distinctly jour
nalese. How does the 81" come in, for
n could understand the expression
"a coronal inquiry ?" Is it a variant Of
''corony + al?" Perhaps somewhat akin
to the formation of ''baronial' from
''barony + al. Notes and Queries.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-04-04
A Spanish street Scene.

In nothing is the illiterate condition
of Spain shown as in the numerous
writing booths which line the streets
of Barcelona. Spain has preserved much
of the picturesque life of past ages and
even at the present day in many of its
towns may be seen the Waterman, with
pike and lantern, going his nightly
rounds not far from a fine street bril-
liantly illuminated by the electric light.
In the Rambla, the principal street of
Barcelona, may be seen several of these
writing booths of the public scribes.
There for a small consideration the il
literate or any one else may have any
thing indited from the poetry Of a love
epistle to the prosaic application for a
situation. The front of each booth is
placarded with the name of the scribe
and the services he is prepared to rem
der to his customers. Some scribes COM
bine the art of painting with that of
writing, and all add to their activities
the business of registry offices for serv-
ants,
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-04-04
An Uncomfortable Superstition.

A very uncomfortable superstition
prevails in the Minieh province in
Egypt. Whenever a pigeon house is to
be made, the fellahin consider that
the pottery used in its construction
should be baked by the help of a human
body. A pigeon house was to be erected
recently at the village of Benz Somrook,
in this province, and this necessary pre-
liminary of its construction was not
forgotten. A young child was first
caught and in spite of its struggles
was put in an oven and burned alive
while the pottery was baked with the
aid of this human holocaust. Two men,
one of them a potter by trade, have
been arrested on suspicion Of having
taken part in this old custom. Cairo
Egyptian Gazette.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-04-04

Sarah Bernhardt while in London
dropped into a booksellers shop one
morning. 81 sold her quite a pile OF
books, said the proprietor, land she
seemed pleased. AS she was going out
she took hold of my pencil and asked
me something in French which l did
not understand. Seeing hat l failed tc
catch her meaning. she looked about on
the counters, then, quick as a flash, she
took up a volume of one of the very
best sets of Scott, bound in tree calf,
opened it at the very center, wrote
something quickly, calmly tore out the
leaf, handed it to me, smiled, and went
out"
The astonished bookseller looked at
the leaf and discovered that Sarah had
written a pass for two to her perform
ance that EVENING" Magnificent, but it
was not a cheap entertainment for the
bookseller.