davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-02-23

She-3@'You played poker again last night"
He (who lost all he had )-"No, my dear; /
was merely an onlooker at the game -
Philadelphia North American.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-02-23
Feminine si.terline.s.

what made you lose your place in the
line?"
Because l wasn't going to be kissed by
the lieutenant right after he had smacked
tina: odious, peppermint chewing Bagley
girl!"-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-02-23

"Lemme get Out" said the thin man who
had been looking out of the window.
What's the natter" Here comes that
friend who is always telling me how I'll un-
dermine my health if keep on worrying.
He scares me worse than the rip."-Wash-
ington Star.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-02-23

How natural it is for most Of us to think
that other folks are liars.-Washingto Qa.)
Democrat.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-02-23

Anna-"They say have my mothers
mouth and nose" Hannah-"Well, your
mother was lucky to get rid of EN-
Yonkers Statesman t44
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-02-23

Richard-"Wonder if we can get drink
at this place." William-"Don'tk know. We
can find out by going in, suppose" Rich.
ard-"Thanks; don't care if l do.'-Larks.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-02-23

I believe Piso's Cure for Consumption
saved my boys life last summer.-Mrs. Allie
Douglass, Leroy, Mich, Oct. 20, "a.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-02-23

Well, anyhow, tae man at the foot of the
ladder doesn't have to worry about falling
off.-L. A. w. Bulletin.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-02-23

Hereafter we shall be able to show our
teeth without having Europe act a. if We
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-02-23

If you lend your money you may lose your
friend-but he is. generally cheap at the
price.-Town Topics
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-02-23

Peaceable Red Men.-"Are the Indians
near your ranch troublesome?" Nav.
They amt got nuthin' we want.'-Cleye
land Plain Dealer.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-02-23
A BETTER Thing.

No, sab, it wasn't no fault of mine dat
] quit runnin' sleepin' cah," explained the
exporter when asked how he came to lose
his job. "Dey jest went to work and made
Z mistake"
What sort OF a mistaken"
Why, one day when | got my silk hat
and dimun pin and lavender trousers on to
go into Chicago in good style dey took me
FUR de president Of the road, and de presi.
dent dun got jealous about it and bounced
me of. Reckon it was good thing fur me,
though"
You hit another job"
did, sab. Jest went to bein' preach.
er, and I'ze found out dat de pulpit lays way
over = sleepin' cab fur shown off dimuns
and stoh clothes. In de one place you's bein'
sawn all de time; in de odder, you's only
sawn when you's maxim up de beds or
breshin' somebody's k"-Boston Globe.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-02-23

Tastes.-Moth-"I overheard some callers
saying. this room is furnished in execrable
TASTE" Other Moth-"Why, the idea.
never ate more palatable upholstery in my
Journal.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-02-23

after all, in spite of what they say of the
pace of this age killing, lots Of millionaires
seem to live to a good old age" Yes, it's
their agents that do the dying."-Town
Topics.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-02-23
Ethics Of Pur,li.u,.

she-Why do they always have those
prize fighters roped N while they are
frhtirga
He--To show that they are getting
The same treatment as their patsons.-
Indianapolis Journal
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-02-23

We may listen, hut we generally think
less Of man after he tells some family Sc.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-02-23

Mrs. Foleigh--"Oh, John, the paper is Of
fering prize for description of a model
husband" Mr.. Foleigh-"You want to take
a try at it." Eyes, please" "All right.
just get the pen, ink and paper, and I'll die.
tate to YOU" Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-02-23

He called me lobster" said the man
with the short hair and the hard face.
what did you do?" said the man with the
cigarette fingers. II made him crawfsh."-
Cincinnati ENQUIRER.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-02-23

To CuFe q Cold In One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
dfuegists refund money if it fails to cure. Csc.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-02-23
No use at All.

'Mistletoe is awfully scarce this year"
she said. I'm afraid ma won't be able to
ret any"
"Wkat's the use! he asked.
And the sounds which forthwith eEsued
indicated that it was absolutely useless
philadelphia North American.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-02-23

Ope Of the Penalties of Wealth.
IL you are any mans rich kin, his
neishbors have heard all about you.-Atchi
son Globe.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1899-02-23
Foolish, Indeed.

The Belle-A man looks awfully foolish
when he's proposing.
n. gensde.mYe' and they dare to ta,k
4. journal.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1899-08-26
Art nnd MORALITY.

John Burroughs in the Atlantic
Monthly: To suppress or ignore the
world of vice and sin is not to be
moral; to portray it is not to be i'm
moral. But to gloat over it, to dwell
fondly upon it, to return to it, to cxag-
gerate it, to roll it under the tongue as
a sweet morsel!-that is to be i'm
moral; and to treat it as time and ma
ture do or as the great artists do, as
atfording contrasts and difficulties,
and disturbing but not destroying the
balance of life, is within the scope of
the moral. Art must make us free of
the whole; every work must in Il meas.
ure reflect the whole of life; if il
dwells too much on that part called sin
and evil, it is false to it's ideal; it must
keep the balance; it must be true to
he integrity of nature. All things
are permissible in their place and pros
portion. There are three ways OF
treating the underside of nature; there
is the childlikc simplicity of the bibli-
cal writer's, who think no evil; there is
the artistic frankness of the great dra-
matte poets, who know the value of
foils and contrasts, and who cannot ig-
nor any element of life; and there is
the license and levity of the %lascivious
poets, who live in the erotic alone.
Both lbsen and Tolstoi have been con-
demned as immoral only because their
artistic scheme embraces all the ele-
ments that are potent in life. OF lev
ity, of cNaggeration, they are not gull
ty. If Zola is to be condemned it is
probably because he makes too promi-
nent certain things and thus destroys
the proportion.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1899-08-26
MAINE WRECK FORGOTTEN.
No Move Made Toward Raising the
Wrecked Cruiser.

wrecked Cruiser.
Washington, Aug. 22.-It is more
than a year since the signing of the
protocol which gave the United States
control over Cuba. The wreck of the
Maine has been lying in Havana har-
Dor all this time, and apparently no.
body connected with the government
has given it n thought. Since Havana
is no longer under Spanish rule inqulr-
les will do something toward bringing
the torn and twisted mass of steel to
the surface.
The inquiries have drawn attention
to a curious condition of affairs. The
wreck of the Maine is no longer in the
jurisdiction of the navy department.
Even if the secretary of the navy
wished to do anything about it he
would have no power. 1t would be a
piece of presumption in him to under
take to raise the wreck or to attempt
an investigation of it. The harbor Of
Havana, with the city and all the rest
of Cuba, is under the control OF the
war department, and any steps which
may be taken would have to be taken
by the military authorities. The Off
Gals of the wa department have not
considered the question. They appar-
emily are not aware yet that the Maine
comes no longer under the navy. One
very high officer remarked of-hand
when he was asked whether anything
was to be done about the Maine, ooh,
that is a navy affair. 1t does not come
up here at ALL"
1t is safe to say that nothing will be
done toward raising the Maine or de-
stroying the wreck unless congress
%legislates specially. So far as the
United States is concerned it is quite
unnecessary to rnise the wreck to as.
certain the cause of the explosion.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1899-08-26
Content with the Sentence,

Waverly Magazine: "Your worship"
said the willy solicitor, who was de-
Tending the stalwart prisoner in the
dock, you cannot possibly convict my
client of housebreaking. l submit,
sir, with all Difference, that neither
morally nor legally can you convict
him. l will tell you why.
"Mr. Skies, here, as the evidence
clearly proves, did not break into any
house ut all. He found the parlor win
dow open, as the witnesses admit, and
all he did was to put in his right arm
land remove some unimportant ar
&icles. Now, sir, Mr.. Skies arm is not
ihe himself, and l fail to see how you
can punish the whole individual for
an offense committed by only one of
his limbs"
Very well, sir" said the cautious
Solomon of the bench, II have heard
OF q .silmilagsdefense before today, so
q. find the MMssoner's arm guilty, and
sentence it 70 six months imprison-
1nent. The gentleman himself can ac-
company it or not, as he chooses, Mr..
Clerk, record the sentence"
Then Mr.. Skies smiled q fourtega-
inch smile, and the plan of the de-
Tense became apparent, as he quietly
proceeded to unscrew his guilty cork
arm and leave it in the custody Of the
rol1rt
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1899-08-26
tainly this advantage in u military we'd

tainly this advantage in II military We'd
ding, that the bridegroom. especially if a
handsome man, is not put out of court"
as in ordinary cases. But Max Baaureglrd
never thought of admiring eyes as he passed
down the nave with his bride; nor did Va
lerie even hear the sublued murmur of adj
miration that greeted her, though she bore
herself calmly: she saw nothing but n mist
OF color, knew nothing but that she was
with Max Beauregard, and belonged to him
now.
And when they We're alone together in
the carriage, and he took her hands in his
and drew her toward him, she trembled,
and flushed and paled in a breath.
FAIRY Queeny' he whispered, folding
the slight form to his heart, and kissing
the soft lips. my Fairy Queen now, my
worshipped wifey'
"Oh, Maxi the sweet voice faltered, al
most failed, 81 mn afraid feel as II. I
could never be worthy of your loyer'
Heart of mine!" he answered, with n
tender smile, but II touch Of the quizzical
look she knew so we'll, ''is not the fear too
late? But, darling, it is n needless fear.
Let me be as worthy of your love as you
hope to be of mine, and all will be well.
Have we not both the perfect love which
casteth out fears"
Yes, Max; forgive mel"
81 will forgive you. Fairy Queen-sol'
and once more he pressed his lips to hers,
with that kiss which seals the ''noblest
troth," which feels the first kiss, and fore
bodies the last.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1899-08-26
DEWEY Will ARRIVE
ON SEPTEMBER g
Admiral Notifies New York Com
mlttee He Will Be Home on that
Date Without Fail.
IAE HAS COMPLETELY RECOVERED
report that He Intended Visiting
london Before Returning Com
tradicted In a Letter Received
in Washington.

lAeghorn, Aug. 2l.-Admiral Dewey
received Wednesday from General But
'eflield a letter dated August /, to-
gether with the program. OF the recep-
lon as planned by the committee. The
ADMIRAL said last evening that if it
would not ~disarrange the plans of the
committee he would arrive III the
lower bay Friday, September 20, in
stead OF on Saturday, September 80.
inns Will necessitate leaving Gibraltar
ON September 10 instead of u day later
as intended.
Before receiving General Butter
lield,s letter IL of the propellers of
the olympia was twisted. In consc.
quence it will S only one engine and.
VIII tax u direct course across the
Atlantic until the Gulf stream is
reached. 1t will then cruise about
WITHIN easy distance of New York, SO
as 70 be absolutely certain of not caus4
ing any hitch or disappointment.
Inc admiral has made two requests
OF General Buttertield, both in the in
terests of his men. He wishes that his
eamen precede the marines in the
parade and that a band be supplied in
place of the Olympia's, as the musi-
clans of the warship will not be in
condition to stand the fatigue OF the
long march while playing.
The admiral is fully recovered and
Is looking extremely well.
Nice, France, Aug. al.-It is an
nounced that the United States cruiser
olympia, now at Leghorn, will arrive
at Nllefranche August 90.
New York, Aug. 21.-At a meeting
OF the committee on plan and scope OF
the Dewey celebration General But
tertield read a cablegram from Nd
mlrai Dewey, which etfectually sets at
rest all the reports that the admiral
would first go to Washington before
the celebration in his honor in New
York. The message was as follows:
"Leghorn, Aug. Ito General But
tertield, New York: Yours OF August
l received. Will reach the lower bay
without fail Friday, September 20.
Ready for parade Saturday morning.
Dewey"
Washington, Aug. 21.-In a letter
from Admiral Dewey to the secretary
of the navy dated at Naples, August S,
the admiral gave his plans as follows:
Il propose to remain at this port about
one week, then to proceed to Leghorn
for n week and Their to either Genoa
or Villefranche for about the same per-
rod. 1t is then proposed to proceed
to Gibraltar for coal, etc, and TO leave
that port about the middle of Septem-
ber."
This c~ontradicts the report that Adj
mi YsD | It, H. t,.a s,%n,J ~1 Z. -.
don before returning to the United
States,
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1899-08-26
MARS Al CLOSE RANGE.
How That Planet Looks When 3S..
100000 Miles Away.

st. Nicholas: All the monster
glasses with which the late rapid adj
vance has been made in knowledge al
our celestial r%eighbors have come into
being since the civil war. Until then.
in this country, the Harvard telescope
OF fifteen inches was the largest.
About 1860 one of eighteen and a half
inches was ordered for the university
In Evanston, III. 1t is only since 1870
that really huge instruments have
multiplied and are nightly turned
upon the starry skies TO ask the ones.
tons which seem to our impatience so
slowly answered. But many
have come, after all, and some things
are clear which before could only he
surmised. For instance, we feel uuita
sure now that Mars has an atmos-
phere, though not more than half "a
dense as our own; hut far better than
none, as we ran tell by looking at our
bright though dead and desolated
moon, from which air, and water have
long since disappeared. And If Mars
has air, the polar caps alone would
seem to show that he has also ice and
snow; and there appear to he, as well,
areas OF water or marsh, though less
in extent than the land. The, north
ern hemisphere looks brighter
through he telescope, even showing
tints of red aud yellow, which astrono-
mers are inclined to think are chiefly
dry land, probably desert; while the
southern is dark, the seas brown or
dull gray, quite as water might APP
pear. These spots We're first called
seas, like the smooth regions of the
moon, and the name. continues in both.
whatever they may be.
In 1877 Mars was at his nearest to
us; near, that is, from an astronomers
point of view, though really at the
enormous distance of IS, 0OO, 900 miles.
Yet n great deal was learned about.
this reighbor in the sky-among 9th
er things that he is attended BY two
tiny satellites or moons never seen
before. And the same year an Ital-
ian astronomer, Mr.. Schiapareli (pro-
nounced skeea-pa-rel-ly), made careful
studies and drawings of the strange
markings on Mars, completing with
the fine telescope at Milan a series of
elaborate sketches afterward COM
bined into an accurate detail map.
Again in 1892 and 1894 the earth and
Mars came near each other in their
flight through space, though some
what farther than during the year
1877. And within the last few months
we have been once more in a good po-
sttion to observe each other. But we
are favorably placed because only I'M
der these conditions can we see the
north pole of Mars, and SO much
more is known about his south pole
that there is of course n strong at
traction in the mysterious north re-
gions. Only ut this great distance is
the north pole graciously tilted to-
ward us, so he has been constantly
watched this spring, and so he will be
again in q little over two years. Eight
years. however, will pass before the
Marian south pole can again be stud
led to good advantage; in September
of 1909, too, all ~obesrvatories will be
on the eager lookout for news from
this fascinating planet.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1899-08-26
lightning in Ynnkton Hotel.

Ynnktop, S. D., Aug. 21.-During a
heavy thunderstorm which ragged here
early yesterday morning a bolt Of
lightning struck the telephone wire
not far from the Pierce hotel and
passed into the building, down the
elevator shaft and out through the
office. No material damage was done
to the building, but several Of the en-
ployes and guests were stunned for o
time. Miss Lou Smith, the head wait
ress, was thrown across her room into
the hall, where she was picked up un-
conscious and remained so for more
than an hour.
William Fahrenwold, aged " years,
an old settler of Yankton county, died
at his home in Walshtown, after q
short illness. Mr.. ~Fahrenwold had
lived i'll Yankton county for over
thirty-two years. He was a native of
Berlin, Germany, and, immigrating
to this country when young, lived at
Syracuse, N. Y, before coming west.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1899-08-26
OFFICERS OF NEW REGIMENTS.
Colonels and Lieutenant Colonies
Observation-Disclosures Stations.

~ SpIOIlcls
MISUNDERSTANDING Stations.
Washington, Aug. 21.-The ten new reg
iments whose recruitment was ordered
yesterday Will be organized at the follow
Ing places, in the order named:
One each Mt Fort Smelling, Fort Crook.
Neb.; Fort Riley, Kan; Fort Ethan Allen.
VT: Fort Leavenworth, Kan.: Jefferson
barracks. Mo.;South birmingham, Mass.
Fort Niagara, N. Y. and two at Camu
Meade, Pa.
The colonies and observation-disclosures OF
lows:
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS, George s. An
aerson, ma19r, sixth cavalry; Thirty
captain, Eighth cavalry: Forty-hrst, I. G.
Rtchmond. captain, Second artillery; For
ty-second. J. NJ. Thompson. major, Twen-
fourth. e. j. McClernand, captain. Sec
ond cavalry; Forty-ffth. J. H. ,Dorst, cap
Schuyler. captain. Fifth cavalry; Forty.
artillery.
Observation-Disclosures. b. Pratt, cap
tain. T~wenty-third infantry; C. j. Crane,
captain, Twenty-fourth infantry; Charles
Byrne. captain, Sixth Infantry: j. s. Mall
Tory. captain Second Infantry; Il. II.
Barker Barker : captain up t F 9ouEs a eavsirS; F Ta n
Michler. captain, Fifth cavalry; W. 10,
Wilder. captain. Fourth cavalry; j. II.
Beacon. captain, Sixth infantry; John
Bigelow. j~r.,~captain, Tenth cavalry.
The new regiments will be organized
under the general instructions issued a,
the time the first ten regiments were
called out.
President Mckinley approved Secretary
Roots recommendation that regular army
officers be selected for colonies and lieu.
tenant-colonels Of the proposed regiments.
The result of the increase will be to Civ
General Otis a fighting force of 60, 45l men,
distributed as indicated as follows:
Regulars. including SOP on the way and
2,e01 about to sail-30.423.
Organized in Philippines. two infantry
regiments and one cavalry regiment vol
unteers, 1866.
Ten infantry regiments, volunteers or
ganized In the United States. 10, $50.
Ten Infantry regiments. volunteers, tc
be organized In the United States. 10. 900.
Officers, ,9S3.
Aggregate combatants for philippines,
90 AL al"HfEE
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1899-08-26
MAJOR WARNE ARRESTED.

- 2HtErN.St
Gables Pettigrew that His Letter
Has Got Him In Trouble.
Minneapolis, Aug. GA special to
the Times from Sioux Falls, S. d.,
says:
Senator P%cttigrew is in receipt OF q
cablegram dated at Nagasaki, Japan,
from DR.. r. G. Warne, major and SUR
geon of the First regiment of South
Dakota volunteers, which says:
Arrested by Frost for published let
ter"
This is the elimination of the
charges of selfishness made by Warne
against Colonel Alfred S. Frost, of the
South Dakota regiment, in q letter
published here last month.
Whether or not Colonel Frost and
DIR. Warne will continue with the reg
1ment to San Francisco or return to
Manila is not indicated by the cable
gram.
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1899-08-26
VALERIE
Half a Truth.
By THE DUCHESS

LrL
One step, and Beauregard was at Va
lerie's side, grasping her hands in his.
"In my arms" he said, you shall tell
me the rest, Valerie" ~ she stroye to free
herself, you must come to mel,
Not yet" she said, under her breath.
"Max, let me gol-not yeti"
Beaureyard released her, and drew back.
You think" he said. bitterly, "that ]
doubt you stilli l have deserved thiss
Ali fool, and blind that l was to believe
you so falsel"
"No-no" cried the girl, clasping her
hands, ''how could you believe me other.
wise, l set myself to deceive you. | let
even Louis believe that I broke my word
to him for Aston Lawford's sake; l so fear.
ed the accusation that / loved you! And
1t was to keep my secret that l led you to
believe l was willing to marry Lawford for
his moneys sake. For your sake refused
Aston Lawford; ay, but not rs you thought,
Max-Henven be my witness! When ]
The Kimball graphic. (Kimball, Brule County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1883-1905, 1899-08-26
a Rond TO Fortune

Philadelphia Record: The oft quoted
saying of =. II. Barnum that the road
to fortune is through printers ink is
undoubtedly true in its application to
mercantile enterprises. Naturally the
tradesman of today requires staple
goods, business ability and the re-
spect of the community in order to
achieve success; but the use of print
,ers' ink in the way of advertisements
in an influential newspaper is also alb
solutely necessary. If the advertise
ments be elegant, lively and p;ctur-
esque in expression all the better.
People like to be entertained even by
an advertisement, and when the mel
chant once interests them In his bust
ness announcements he is sure also
to receive their patronage.