The Irish standard. [volume] (Minneapolis, Minn. ;) 1886-1920, 1899-11-18
prefer to get him to translate what we

eve had come long way just to
see the Sultan There were millions of
people in the United States eager to see
him who could not come" Boston"
rebelled against these statements; he
said that there were not ten self-respect-
ing people in all the United States who
would go a hundred yards to see the
old fool. He was not the proper sort
OF a Sultan at all. He had lured US
across the island under false pretenses,
and ought not to be encouraged. We
suppressed Boston" and went on.
'The people of the United States
would like some few words from him
in Acknowledgements OF new relation
ship which we sincerely hoped would
always be friendly"
The Nubian grinned and started on
long discourse in Sug. 1t was ha-
rangue filled with salaa1ns. OF course,
we felt uneasy and uncertain about what
he was actually saying. He seemed to
be doing we'll, however, for the Sultan
smiled a vapid smile, and then a trou-
blcd look came over his face as he real
lied that it would require mental effort
to carry on his side of the interview.
The Sultan's secretary, the true ruler
. OF the Sultanate to-day, came to his res
cue. 1t would be better ii his majesty
should send a written greeting to the
American people. He, the secretary.
knew we'll his najesty's mind on the
subject. Thereupon the secretary began
to scribble, and when he finished he
handed us document in Malay charac-
tiers closely resembling the Arabic. The
Sultan signed it, and later on we dis
covered that it read as follows:
His Majesty Sultan Hadji Mohanad
Womolol Hiram is as brother to the
American people and wants to know
how they are to him."
We were rather astonshcd that the
Sultan offered on objection to our TAX
ing photograph OF him, or even max
ing sketch. 1t was only when Dos
tom insisted that lie should go down
stairs and out into the sun, so that we
might be sure Of getting 4 good cX-
posure, that lie objected on the ground
that lie was not we'll enough to move.
After an interview of an hour, during
which it came to light that the ideas OF
the Sultan we're all contained in the
head OF Hadji Butu, the secretary, we
took our leave without regret Hadji
Butu, just as we we're mounting our
horses, tried to get loan OF $40 out OF
me, but did not seem surprised or par
ticularly disappointed when he failed.
Martin Dooley, the Chicago humor-
list, gives the following sketch of the
Sultan to his friend Hennessy:
"Thc best a congressman can get is
fourth class postnastller an look at
tn White House on visitn' day. But
Hadji, the poplar an Eloquent Sultan
iv Sulu an Bazeen iv Ohio v tn Pas
syic, owns his own palace an disthrib-
utes his own Jobs. No man can hold
TIL Office iv bow stlringer iv our I'M
pccryal domain without ccrty-hcate
ir'm Hadji Firm til highest office in
tn land to tn lowest, firm tn chief
pizcner to tn throne to iii lunbest
ixicutioner that puts lady i'll bag an
dumps her into tn lake iv tn Nine
Miilionth ASSEMBLY district they look to
Hadii Mohanmcd ir their places. He
is tn High Guy, til Main Thing. He's
ivrybody. Whin he quits wurrul tn
sovernmilnt is over i'r tn day. An does
a1nlywan thry to Interfere will, Hadji?
Does annywan say. Hadji, yell have to
abandon two or three hundred v yc'cr
tircsides. We ARE Twin jus inside til
left field hncc iv Our domain an It's
rule iv TIL game that we've taken we into
that no wan shall have more thin wan
vile at 4 time that annywan knows Of
In behalf v tbs comfy iv TIL Society f'r
tn Suppression iv Polygany, l request
yc to discard Nora an Eileen an Mary
Ann an Sue an Bmbi an tn r-rcst iv'
TIL bunch, an cleavc only to Lucille
Judge be her looks that she's tn first
Massus Hatch"
mo, sir. II he had he'd reach tn
ship, that runs between Our outlying
wards without hair to his head. In
stead OF reprcachin Hadji with his do
rnestic habits, wan iv tn ENJOYS that
attic Employed in carryn' messages firm
tn prisidint to his fellow citizens pro-
cecds to TIL pretty little American viii
lage iv Sulu, where he finds Hadji set
tim up ON high chair surrounded be
wives. It's domestic scene that'd
make Brigham Young think he was a
bachelor. l[adji is smolin' good see
gar an occasionally hstin dhrink v
cider, an wan iv TIL ladies is playin' a
guitar an another is singin' / want We,
my Sulu,' an another is maxim tidy,
an three or four hundred more ARE
SEWN patches on tn pants iv tn Hadji
kids An tn ambassadurc he says:
Mos rilc an luminous citizen, here is
copy iv tn Annual Thanllsgivin' pro-
c1amaton, he says. ''Tis addressed
to all tn hearty husbandmen iv Our be,
lov'd country, manin' you among 9TH
ers,' he says. AN here he says, is TIL
revised constitutions he saws. 'Th' orig.