davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1899-11-30
He WANTS His Rox.

A colored citizen who has a boy in
the Philippines has written to the
president to ask that his son be grant
ed furlough in order that he may spend
Christmas at home
do. Mister Kinley-ef you please,
sub. sem John home fer Christmas,
kase his nanny is DIES a-pinin' fer de
sight'er i'm. En- eff he amt done draw.
ed all is money, please, sub, sem dat
on ahead err him, SOS we kin have a
Christmas gift en- dinner fer i'm wen
he walk in de do Sem him right off,
eff yer please. sub, en- I'll vote fer you
mex time des lax did las'.''-Atlanta
Constitution.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1899-11-30
800 Reward 800.

y The readers of this paper will be pleased to
learn that there is at least one dreaded disease
that science has been able to cure in all its
stages, and that is Catarrh. Halls Catarrh
medical fraternity. Catarrh being a constitu-
tional disease, requires a constitutional treat
ment. Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally,
acting directly upon the blood and mucous sur
faces of the system. thereby destroying the
foundation of the disease and giving the patient
strength by building up the constitution and
prietors have so much faith in it's curative
powers that they offer One Hundred Dollars for
any case that it fails to cure. Send for list of
Testimonials.
Address f. ]. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O.
K Sold by druggists T5c
Halls Family Pills are the best
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1899-11-30
Sad Catastrophe.

From the Philadelphia American:
Mrs. Golde-NuggetI cannot see any
callers today. Nanette. Nanette Give
minutes later to caller) Monsieur. j
hat re plaisure to inform you Est
madame is blind today.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1899-11-30
The Only Thing Lacking.

The somewhat previous letter of
''Christmas gift brother to his former
employer reads rs follows:
''Marse Tom. eff you gwine ter gimme
Christmas gif' dis Christmas l wish
you please, sub. SEN ME a overcoat.
Marse Tom. eff had one err desc over
coats what reach ter de groun' I'd 60
ter preachin' 10 sundown!'-Atlanta
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1899-11-30
Not . Pleasant OutlooIr.

From Puck: She i told father you
wanted to see him the next time you
called. He-What did he say? She
He said for you to come in; he wasnJ
afraid Of you.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1899-11-30
The Best Peeple.

ut is easy enough to get the best peo-
pie to attend the primaries if we only
go the right way about II. We have
only to hold the primaries at s clock,
serve tea and keep everybody else
away. Detroit journal.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1899-11-30
The omnipresent

The Omniprcsent Youth.
Minister-Good morning, Willie, is
your papa at home?
Willie aged seven, to his father in
the library)-Say, paw, did you see him
first?
AIinister-Why do you ask your
father such strange question, my
boy?
Willie-Well. you see, paw and Mr..
Bilkins are playin' poker this evenin,'
and heerd paw say he bet you wud'nt
see him if he saw you tirst.-Ohio
State Journal.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1899-11-30
what Was killing Him.

Beggar-Will you please give me six
pence, sir? I am ION my way home to
die.
+ Gentleman '(handing him the money!
~ don't object to giving you sixpence
for so worthy a purpose at that, but
your breath smells horribly Of whisky.
Beggarl know it does, sir; whisky's
what's killing me- London Tropical
Times.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1899-11-30
"A Ready Retort.

The Nulture-It's hardly polite to
read your paper at table, Mr.. Hall.
room.
The Victim-I know. Mrs. Skinnem,
but it takes my mind off what I'm eat.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1899-11-30
Are You Using A1len,. Foot-E.:.,

1t is the only cure for Swollen,
Snarting. Burning. Sweating Feet,
Corns and Bunions. Ask For Aliens
Foot-Ease, powder to be shaken into
the shoes. At all Druggists and Shoe
Stores. 25c. Sample sent FREE. Ad.
dress Allen S. ~Olmsted. Leroy, N. Y.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1899-11-30
Indisnensable.

Indispensable.
eyes, yes,' said the manager YEARLY,
IL know you have a fine wardrobe"
"Wen,'' said the sensational actress.
"don't you think costumes count for
anything?'
"Of course. realize that the ward
robe is a necessity. You've got to have
something to take off in the disrobing
scene. Star.
When singers voice fails he cam no
longer take up his notes.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1899-11-30
Her Way of Getting 1t.

Her Way of Getting 1t.
Wife (earnestly)-George, dear, I
have prayed so fervently Of late for a
tailor-made gown that l feel it would
be flying in the face of Providence not
to go and get measured at once
Brooklyn Life.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1899-11-30
An Appreciative Comment.
kyElaat lifflo Of lllila1,.c

THAT little boy Of Blinx's is Won
,derfully bright chap
1.-The one who recitedw
YES"
"One of the brightest children 1 ever
met. I'll bet that when he gets to be
us old as his father he'll be too smart
to make his children get up and speak
pieces ''Washington Star.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1899-11-30
Talk
About It

!. That's always the way with
our Hair Vigor. When pct
sons use it they arc always so
highly pleased with il that they
tell their friends about 1t.
If your hair is short. 500
thin. splits at the ends. Is rough.
OF IS falling out. our Hair Vigor
will perfectly satisfy you-
s If your hair is just 4 1itf1e
gray, OF. perfectly white. Ayers
Hair Vigor Will bring back to It
all the dark. rich color 1t had
years and years ago. ~ 81 sls. 49,.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1899-11-30

Any feeling. that takes a man away
from his home is traitor to the house
hold.-H. w. Beecher.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1899-11-30

The man who does no harm in the
world does but little good.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1899-11-30
Didn'a Work.

"What a beautiful lounge!"
eyes. That's a birthday present
from my husband. He always gives
me a present that costs him as many
dollars as am years old"
That's nice of him. It reconciles
one to growing old. By the way,
have lounge at home like that, but
not nearly as fine, and we paid $3S for
it."
lis that all? This-this didn't cost
nearly as much as that. Chicago
Tribune.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1899-11-30
Our Seasons.

Our Seasons.
do you really have four distinct sea-
sons in Michigan?" asked the summer
resorter Of an old resident.
ooh, yes; summer and winter and
winter and summer."-Detroit Free
Press.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1899-05-21
would be possible in England's colder eli

would be possible in Englands colder cli-
mate.
How to Travel Comfortably.
The care that the Queen has been taking
to prolong her reign has been shown In
many other ways by incidents Of this out
ing at Cimiez, which has cost her about
$4,000, including the expenses Of her suite
OF some fifty persons, and the $4,000
monthly rent of her wing OF the Hotel
Regina She sleeps better In her own bed
and consequently that cumbrous piece Of
furniture went to Ciniez with her. She
finds delight In her dogs and birds, so
they went along. She hates the least bit
of climb, 80 special platforms were con-
structed for her by which she could step
from her train to the Dover-Calais steam
er, and special lift" was built for her
at the hotels.
Wherever she went small army of
watchers escorted her. Some were in of
fetal trappings; more were detectives in
citizens clothing. Her path through
France was cleared of suspicious persons
by the establishment of a sort of dead
line" like that once established by Tom
Byrnes around Wall street, beyond which
no crook might go without being arrested
on general principles.
The Queen is now DIS careful about her
food as she is about sleep and exercise
And she comes nearer than any other
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1899-05-21

sington is laid the Queen will go to Wind
sor bringing to an end the gala days of
the tourists, who are permitted to ex-
plore the castle and enrich the attend
ants when the Queen is away. A stage
has been built in the Waterloo chamber
for the chief event Of the Queens birth
day, performance of "Lohengrin" fol-
lowing big royal dinner party.
After her birthday the Queen will go
north to her favorite Balmoral, mono the
worse, doubtless, for so hard a fort
night. Physically. she is not day older
to-day than she was at the celebration Of
her jubilee, two years ago.
How She Keeps Young.
How does she do It? The court circular
for the outing in the South of France
tells part Of the story. Every day, fore
noon and afternoon, her Majesty spent
every available moment in the open air.
driving about behind the royal horses. or
behind little Jocko, the celebrated white
donkey who has done practically all Of
the Queens walking for her out of doors
for 10. these many years. Whenever the
Queen goes for a "strolr' it is Jocko
whose fat little legs do the work, while
the Queen sits in the chaise.
When she goes for a drive the horses
honored with her confidence are soS.e Of
the most conservative beasts in Britain.
having been tested with all sorts of
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1899-05-21

being Queen at all and being born on En-
glish soil, for Victoria was only the niece
of William w, and her father, the Duke
of Kent, was only the fourth son Of poor
old George III. In the ordinary course Of
nature she was many, many removes
from the throne, but she seems to have
had all the stamina that belonged to the
children of her fathers elder brothers, as
well as her own portion, for they dwindled
away as fast as they were born.
The Queen Is German on her mothers
side and German a few removes away on
her fathers SIDE and she would have
been born In Germany If her father had
not figured 1t out that his eldest child
might some day be the ruler of England,
and that it would therefore be well for the
infants claims on the throne II he or she
first saw light in England. SO, two
months before the expected event he hur-
ried his Duchess away from her home in
Leiningen. There were no railroads in
those days, and 1t Is said that the Duke
himself drove the coach from Amorbach
to the Dutch coast, for fear that less
interested coachman might drive care
lessly.
The room in Kensington Palace-in what
is now the heart of fashionable Lon
don-where the future Queen was born
is now being restored to look exactly as
1t did in 1873. The very pictures that hung
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1899-05-21

member Of her family to being a solace
and comfort to the total-abstinence peo-
pie, for she takes nothing but little
whisky and water for the stomach's sake.
She Is even more abstemious than the
Prince of Wales, who has lately foresworn
champagne. and now drinks little but
sparkling moselle. Besides the corps Of
doctors of the household the Queen has
more than thirty honorary physicians and
surgeons. She Is great believer in med
ical advice, but not much given to taking
medicine. Open air Is her sovereign rem
edy.
Eighty Years Of Good Luck.
The Queens luck has been as proverbial
as the Queens weather." which. by spe-
cial dispensation of Providence, is almost
invariably fine whenever Her Majesty has
to make public appearance. When she
was only six months old an amateur
sportsman fired a shot through her nur-
sery window that came within a hairs
breadth Of her devoted head When she
was thirteen a sudden gale arose while
she was at sea with her mother, and dis
lodged the topmast, which came crashing
down to the spot whence she had been
snatched by a pilot scarce a second be-
fore. Five attempts to murder her have
been made without doing her more harm
than q bruise
But the greatest luck Of any was in
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1899-05-21

vided between the sovereign and his con-
sort, the Queen taking the head, in order
that her wardrobe might be replenished
with the whalebone needed for the stiff
fleming Of her royal garments.
Another OF the Queens perquisttes Is a
certain number Of magnificent cashmere
shawls. which are dispatched to her every
year from the Kingdom Of Cashmere
They vary in value, as a rule, from 900
to $1,000 apiece and the Queen is accus-
toned to present one of them as a wed
ding present to every young girl of the
aristocracy in whose future she is in any
way interested. Every tailor holding
patent of ''purveyor to Her Majesty" II
he conforms to ancient tradition and
usage, should present her with silver
needle each year.
Another class Of royal purveyors is
called upon to present annually to her a
tablecloth, while from other sources again
she is entitled to an annual contribution
of such varied tips" as white doves,
white hares, fretongs, currycombs, scar
let hosiery, nightcaps, lances and cross
bows.
Moreover, at the coronation the Lord Of
the Manor of Arlington must present to
the sovereign dish of pottage" com
posed of almond milk, Drawn of capons,
sugar, spices, chickens parboiled and
chopped" At the same ceremony the
Lord of the Manor of Hayden is obliged
Dy virtue OF MS tenure from the crown
TO present the monarch with a towel the
Lord of the Manor of Worksop giving the
sovereign a ''right-handed glove"
Queen Victoria also has the privilege OF
using any of the railways in the kingdom
free of charge. Her water rates and her
bill for gas, in the past, were nil, and she
has the right to extort from every new
made knight the provender for five Of her
households help.
These, however. are only a few of the
various perCuisites to which the Queen Of
England is entitled by tradition and US
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1899-05-21
Special to the Sunday Call.

T ONION, May 14-When the long,
hard day of Queen Victoria's Dia-
mond jubilee was over she
summed 1t up by signing. YEARLY:
1T makes me realize that I am a
very old woman" The multtudes
that saw her then realized 1t. too, and
their underlying consciousness Of 1t did
more to make the occasion impressive
than all the trappings and the pageantry.
According to the dramatic fitness of
things this was the grand tableau before
the fall of the curtain.
But the good Queen never has been IN
the least dramatic and she now ap-
proaches the next most important mile
stone IN her reign as calmly and comfort
ably as If she were to be 40 instead Of so
on the oath of May.
1t is probable that the rather stuffy
room in Kensington Palace in which she
was born in 1919 will then be opened to the
public to signalize the occasion. Altera-
tons and reservations have been going on
in the homely, squat old building for some
time in the leisurely British way. Accord
ing to present plans the Queen will give
in person the drawing room to be held In
buckingham Palace on May Is and on the
following day she will lay the foundation
stone for the new Kensington museum.
Cornerstones by the Hundred.
Again the story goes around that this
cornerstone laying will mark the last
public appearance Of her Gracious Maj
esty. Don't believe it 1t will be an i'm
pressive occasion for the same underlying
reason that the Jubilee seemed almost pa
thetic; but unless all present signs fail
the Queen will be able to pursue the chief
Guelph diversion Of laying cornerstones
uninterruptedly for an indefinite time to
come
Victoria has undoubtedly laid more cor
nerstones and opened more institutions
than any other person living; and the
Prince OF Wales comes next. The Duke of
York is gaining on them a little. but he
began so late that he can never hope to
catch up. Prince Edward eldest son Of
the Duke of York, and fourth in line to
the throne, has not yet laid a single cor
nerstone, but he must begin soon. It
seems probable that the great wall OF
London, now almost wholly lost to sight,
could be restored with the cornerstones
that have been laid by this family, and
the Lisbon earthquake probably didn't
destroy as much property as would tum-
BILE if all of these cornerstones were rude
~ withdrawn.
In Capital Candition.
This business of laying cornerstones
has been an outward and visible sign of
the reason for the Queens long life. 1t
is done out of doors, and there is moth
ing unduly exciting about 1T. 1t is solid,
practical occupation of the sort that
doesn't CRATE on the nerves. If Charles
had contented himself with laying corner
stones, all England would not have been
celebrating last week the three hundredth
anniversary of the man who ordered that
the royal head be cut off.
After the cornerstone at South Ken
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1899-05-21
WONDERFUL HITS OF EXPERT SHOTS.

rapid sight he will hit eleven distinct
bullseyes in seven seconds.
Revolver shooting Is generally consid-
rife firing, and there are certainly fewer
expert revolver than rife shots. But
among the most wonderful wielders of the1
shooting. iron" is an American gentle
man, a Mr.. Stephens, with whom. how
ever, the fascinating practice is only a
pastime.
A very effective feat Mr. Stephens per-
forms privately consists of standing six
lighted candles upon bench, retreating
about forty feet, and putting out one can
die after another with the contents of his
stX-chambered revolver. On one occa-
sion the same gentleman, standing under
a cherry tree with revolver In each
hand, cut the stones out of eight cherries
in eleven seconds. OF the two unsuccess-
full shots fired, one only grazed the cherry
in mystery. But the feat was a very
wonderful one. especially for an amateur
shot.
@Bullseye writing is common among
falo Bill took with him to England,
was especially clever at It. She would
stand few PAGES from a target and per-
forate the outer rim with shot so neatly
that her name would appear quite dis
tinctly designed by series of clear-cut
holes.
On one occasion when Annie Oakley
was praeticing at a target she sent
shot right through the center of the bulls
eye Some one standing. by offered to
wager her that she would not send a shot
through the hole she had thus made
Shouldering her rife she fired four shots
with great elaboration, and it was found
that three of these must have actually
passed through the hole, slightly enlarg-
ing it, and the fourth had gone the elghLn
of an inch off the mark. Five successive
square inch of the bullseye was certainly
a very creditable performance.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1899-05-21

CEREMONIES FOR THE OCCAsIc

noises, from small boys with tin horns to
brass bands gathered in the Buckingham
Palace yard for the especial purpose OF
seeing If they can frighten the horses. The
flEal stage in the training Of these ami
mails is course in bagpipes. If they can
hear bagpipes without so much as twist
ing an ear, then they are considered be-
yond suspicion.
Eight of these horses went with Jocko
to Cimiez, accompanied by the Queens
own carriage and have not lacked for ex
ercise ever since. Rains are rare at this
season on the Riviera, but one or two
showers fell while the Queen has been
there, and on those occasions the natives
were astonished to see the Queen driving
out the same as ever. Her stay this year
has been prolonged unprecedentedly, so
she could be out of doors more than
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1899-05-21

n GREAT deal of attention has been
~ paid Of recent years to exhibition
revolver and rife shooting, and the
favor with which really exnert
4 As shots meet has greatly increased
the number of extraordinary feats
which can now be performed with revolt
vers and rifles.
Buffalo BIZ was one Of the f1ne-t
shots ever seen in this country, although
exhibition craftsmanship has greatly
improved since Colonel Cody last visited
England. One of his most wonderful
feats was not generally performed in
public, for the reason that its failure or
success could not be discerned at any
great distance. 1t consisted in driving
into white board FIVE short, fat-head-
tacks with five successive shots, from
distance just short enough to allow of
the tackS to be accurately sighted. SO
great great vas Colonel Cody,s skill wi. with the
favorable light he could generally per-
form it six or seven times without
miss.
ously accurate, but 1t was extraordinarily
quick. Given repeater, he would stand
or sit on his famous white horse and
break five clay pigeons" sent up stimuli
taneously before they had time to get
more than a couple of feet on the fall
course.
But M. Bordeverry, Frenchman, who
recently came to this country to show US
what a rifle could be made to do, would
probably give Colonel Cody points and
an easy beating. His accuracy and rapid
ity of aim are simply astonishing. At a
distance of thirty feet he can cut a piece
of cardboard through the edge, as it is
poised upon the head of an assistant. At
a similar distance leaning himself fiat on
his back over the seat of a chair, with a
pistol In his hand, he can send spinning
threepenny piece which rests, half hid
den, upon his assistants head. He will
knock the ash off your cigar at a distance
of thirty feet, or light your wax-vesta for
you, if you care to hold it. At ten yards
he can cut swinging thread, and at the
he will pick off three small trifies ball
anced one upon the other upon the head
hi mt md 10 dor,
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1899-05-21
A Clear Case.

A board OF physicians were inquiring
into the state of mind Of an alleged luna
tic.
you told US just now" said the spokes-
man. that you were the Emperor Napo-
leon and now you say you are the Duke of
Wellington. Pray explain yourself"
"Quite right" returned the patient,
cheerfully; that was by a different
mother"
They didn't ask any moro questions
Life.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1899-05-21

on the walls then have been brought back
from Hampton Court and are being put
in their old places, and much of the origi-
nal furniture will soon be ready for the
eye Of the public.
The Coming Drawing Room.
Buckingham Palace. just below the op-
posite end OF Hyde Park from Kensing-
ton Palace, is also being swept and gar
nished for the homecoming of the Queen,
and 1t is probable that she will be pres
emit, for the first time In year, at the
drawing room to be held there on May
Is, thus making 1t q far more brilliant
affair than any previous drawing room
this year. for Princesses are too plentiful
to be of much value as a sole attraction.
This will be the first drawing room of
ambassador Choate and his wife, and
the ladies of the Choate family have just
returned from Paris, where they have
been shopping for the great occasion.
Mr.. Choate would have had q tough
time OF 1t choosing among the American
applicants who wanted to be presented
at court as soon as 1t became known
that the Queen was likely to grace the
occasion in person were 1t not for the
fact that the lists were practically COM
plete six months ago. Only the greatest
Of the great could slip In at this late day
It will not be known who are the lucky
ones till two days before the drawing
room il held. The lists are never pub
lished long In advance. lest some one
might get the credit of presentation and
then evade the penalty and agony with
court dressmakers and tailors by not go
ing.
It may be said, however, for the bene-
fit of those who are to be disappointed
when the lists are published that they
probably wouldn't have been presented
to the Queen in person after all: for, al
though she Is astonishingly strong for a
lady of &c. she is not inclined to stand
the whole ceremony of a drawing room.
and at best will receive in person only
the diplomatic circle, retiring then and
leaving some younger member of the
family to respond to the prescribed
obeisances of unofficial court society.
CURTIS BROWN
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1899-05-21

right to every whale or sturgeon captured
on the coast of the United Kingdom and
brought to land. Both of these perqui-
sites date back to the days Of the Nor
man Kings, and it appears that in the
case Of the whale the monsters were d.