The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-03-10
His Eyes Went Back on Him.

s1lS Eyes went SACK on Him.
doctor" said a red faced and
watery eyed man from Wayne town.
ship, as he came in DR.. Balcock's of
ice, in Hammondsport, the other
day, "Tm afraid my eyes is goin,
back On me, and l dropped in to kind
o see If lean find out where they're
lame."
.Ah!" said the doctor. "What
seems to be the matter with your
syes?"
CHATS what don't know" re-
piled the man. but they played me
trick t'other day that don't leave no
COON for doubt but what there's
somethin' out O. gear with 'em some-
how. I'll give you the symptoms.
Maybe you dom know that I'm quite
@ coon hunter, but am. Tother day
my boy bought one o. these britch
ioadin' and repeatn' shotguns. and
1 told him I'd go out and see how it
ID work on a coon. went out, and
hadn't gone more than mile up the
hill before seen a bigcoo pop on to
che limb OF n chestnut tree. He came
there so sudden that ] couldn't get
it through me where he had come
from or how he got there. But l
didn't stop to ask no questions, but
up and blazed away. Now I've got
the name over our way, Doc, ofnever
missin' anything shoot at. and OF
course when pulled up and whang-
ed away at that coon | expected to
see him tumble, but he didn't. When
the smoke cleared away he sot there
Jest as he was when seen him first.
was surprised, now, tell you. I
thought it was the guns fault, but
blazed away again. The coon never
moved. happened to look, some
how or other, at Il tree off to the
right of the one the coon was in. and
there sat another coon on limb.
thought I'd try my luck on him,
and so let him have a shot. He
never stirred.
81 begun to git mad by this time,
and durin INSTRUMENTATION was
havin' with myself about the gun
happened to glance at Il tree to the
left of the first tree, and there On IL
limb WAS another coon. | tried my
luck on the third coon, and didn t
hit him no more than | did t'other
two. looked ut the first tree: there
was that coon, sittin right where he
was when first seen him. | looked
at the second tree and there WAS that
coon still on the limb. turned my
head toward another tree, and there
seen a fourth coon, and lookin'
around me whichever way | might,
every tree had seen had coon in
it, and all as fat as coons could be.
got wild.
"'Thunder!" 1 hollered; here's the
woods full o'coons, and l hain't got
nothin' but this new tangled gun
that won't hit a barn
"But began to blaze awayas fast
as the gun could spit a cartridge, fllst
at one coon and then at another, un-
ilevery darn load wasemptied out o.
that gun and hadn t dropped a coon.
Twas .jist aGoin to Stat that gun to film
ters againstn tree, when happened to
rub my eye, and when took my
hand down, there on my finger was n
nice, jolly, fat wood louise. Hooked
up, but every coon was gone. The
Fact O the matter is, Doc. that wood
louise had been hanging to one OF my
eyewinkers all the time. and I
thought was seem coons. BE git
tin near-sighted, or is it the optic
nerve doublin' up on mc?:''
SsNeither one said the DOCTOR
s'Have the hind pocket in your hunt
Ing pants cut down from quart size
to halt-pint, and you'll he all right"
The man went out shaking his head
and said he'd think about it.-Ham.
.mondsport Cor New York Sun.