davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1899-06-27
Endless.

The longest lane must have a turning,
The rock Q out where drippings
fall,
Yet mar may daily keep on learning,
And never get to know it all.
Chicago Times Herald.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1899-06-27
Heard to Please.

Mrs. Perkins said if we made her pres
ident she would resign from the club.
Well?
Then she resigned because she didn't
get but one vote.
Chicago Record
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1899-06-27
Cheapeuinp His Value.

Mrs. Youngwife-You are awful dear
to me, Harry.
Harry-Yes, but your habit of telling
others about it makes me feel very
cheap.-Richmond Dispatch.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1899-06-27
4 Heacs Plau.

Strife, he said, as he finished reading
the the Peace Conference report, is a
necessity.
There's no law compelling a man to
marry.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1899-06-27
pECOS VALLEY NORTHEASTERN RY,

Central Time)
Train No. / leaves Pecos daily $3.50 a.
M, arrives Eddy 7:ao a. M, Roswell
11:45 p. M, Amarillo $50 p. M, con
Meeting with A., 7. & s. F. and F. w.
& D. G. Rys.
Train No. 2 leaves Amarillo daily 5:35
.. m, arrives Roswell 1928 p. m, Eddy
6:15 p. M, Pecos 1O:4O p. m. connecting
with the Texas & Pacific Ry.
Stages for Lincoln, White Oaks and
Nogal, N. M, leave Roswell, N. M,
daily except Sunday at 2 a. m.
For low rates, for information regard
ng the of this valley, prices
Of lands, ETC., address
D. n. NICHOLS
General Manager,
DON D. D0NAHUE, Eddy, N. NJ.
Cen. Trt. and Pass. Agent,
Eddy, N. n
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1899-06-27

poisonous matter your whole body will
soon be full of impurity and disease, and.
it is small wonder you dream of disaster.
DIR. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery
purifes and enriches the blood. 1t
cleanses the whole digestive system and
is an antidote for poison in the blood.
It is a blood-maker and ~aesh-builder and
is good for the nerves. 1t brings restful
sleep and a clear head. 1t contains no
alcohol, whisky, sugar, syrup, or dan
gerous opiates.
81 used DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery
and Pleasant Pellets and have had no trouble
with indigestion since writes Mr.. W.. I.
Thompson, of Townsend, Broadwater Co., Mon
tana. swords fail to tell how thankful I am
for the relief, IS I had suffered so much and it
seemed that the doctors could do me no good. I
got down in weight to I25 pounds, and was not
able to work. Now 1 weigh nearly 100 and can
do a days work on the farm
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1899-06-27
Dear at the Price.

This is the hat Nancy Robinson want
ed so much. I'm tired of it, and would
let her have it for a song.
l guess you've never heard her sing.
Chicago Record.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1899-06-27

Charles H. Marks, while acting in the
capacity of nurse at the Second Division
Hospital of the Fifth Army Corps at
Santiago de Cuba, used a few bottles of
Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera and Diar
rhoea Remedy for diarrhoea, and found
1t to work like a charm. For sale by
A. G. Ireland.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1899-06-27
Kindred Emotions

How sad Isabel looks.
Yes; she's either in love or she's wish
ing she had some ice cream.
Chicago Record.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1899-06-27
Clashing Colors.

Isn't Alice's hat a perfect symphony?
l don't know: it looks to me more like
an operate roundup Ly Wagner.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1899-06-27
The Old,'Old Story.

Now doth the busy family man
Begin to save and hoard,
So that his wife and daughter may
Indulge in country board.
Chicago News
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1899-06-27
Christian Endsavor Meeting, Detroi,
Mich, July 8 to 10, 1890.

For the annual convention, United
Society Of Christian Endeavor, the Santa
Fe Route will place on sale tickets to
Detroit, Mich, and return at the low
rate Of $40 so for the round trip, dates
Of sale July 2 to 4 inclusive, good for
return passage until August Is, 1899.
H. s. LuTz, Agent,
Santa Fe, N. M
w. J. BLACK, q. P. A.,
Topeka, Kas. /.
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1899-06-27
When you dream
that somebody is
pushing you over a
%precipice it's time

you looked after your stomach and liver.
You may no believe in dreams but that
particular sort of dream is likely to come
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1899-06-27
More Bouquets.

"a gentleman who lately made a trip over the Burlington
Route to Chicago, writes that in his opinion there is not
better managed railway in America. He further says that
from the time you enter the train at Denver until you reach
Chicago, every employe of the railway is on the alert to add
to YOUR comfort Denver Hotel Bulletin.
Flying trains for Omaha, Kansas City, st. Louis and
Chicago, leave Denver at 1:40 p m. and $3.50 p m.
Ticket Oacc 1889 Seventeenth st.
q. w. vALLERY, General Agent, Denver.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26
A, BULKY RECEIPT.
The Bank Dep0sitOr Had Something
to show For His Money.

The Rank DepOsitOr Had SOmething
to show For His Money.
A man with u German accent and q
fierce red mustache walked into one of
the banks the other day and annOunc-
ed that he wanted to open an account.
He was directed to the proper official
and from a well worn belt extracted
$500. This sum he handed through the
window.
The bank official showed the big sig
nature book toward the depositor for
his signature. Just then the officials
attention was attracted in another d.
rection. When, q second later, he turn
ed around. the mar with the red mus
tache was coolly walking toward the
door with the book, which contained
the signatures Of all the depositors In
the bank, tucked under his arm.
The assistant cashier yelled:
Hold on, there!'
But the Teutpn pursued his even
course toward the street.
The official rushed from behind his
counter and caught the new depositor
Just as he reached the door.
"What are you doing with that
book" demanded the bank official an
grily, laying hold Of the precious vol
ume.
"Why, I thought that was the receipt
for my $5OO!' answered the German,
completely bewildered.
In the same bank Il we'll dressed wO-
man called to deposit $500.
The assistant cashier pushed the sig
nature book toward her. after receiv-
ing the deposit.
"Sign your name there" said the Off
cial. indicating the proper place.
The woman took up the pen and
made a show of writing, but the steel
point never touched the paper. After
a few more fancy tlourishes in the air
the woman handed back the pen. say
ing:
"Last summer | used to write my
name all right, but for some reason I
can't do it now"
The bank official directed her to
make an TX" in the book.-Chicago
Journal.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26
The Bottle ut ship Launches.

Down to Charles It's time it was Gus
tomary to name and baptize Il ship aft
er she was launched, sometimes n
week or two after. The old Tudor
method used for men-of-war was still
in use. Pepys' DIARY" shows that.
The ship was safely got afloat, after
which some high parsonage went on
board with a special silver standing
cup or "flaggon' Of wine, out of which
he drank. naming the ship, and poured
a libation on the quarter deck. The
cup was then generally given to the
dockyard master shipwright as a me-
mentO.
When did the present usage Of NAM
ing and baptizing a ship before she Is
sent atloat come in? l trace the last
explicit mention Of the old method to
1864, when the Royal Katherine was
launched (see Pepys). The first men,
ton of smashing a bottle Of wine on
the bows Of a British man-of-war that
l have found Is in a contemporary
newspaper cutting Of May, 1880, de-
scribing the christening Of II. M. s.
Magnanime at Deptford, but nothing
Is limited that it was then a new GUS
tom.-Notes and Queries.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26
A Lively streak of Mouse.

Several persons standing In front of
q show window on Fourth street
watching a procession of Japanese
mice In a cage as they ran In ut one
door Of their sleeping apartment and
out at another with lightning rapidity
became involved In II dispute as to how
many Of the animals there were. One
said there were only two mice, while
others thought there were at least
three.
They were very active, curious little
animals and, instead OF being of the
proper mouse color, were black and
white, marked in large blotches like
Holstein cattle or old fashioned swine.
The holes into and out OF which they
ran were close together. and they clias-
ed around so swiftly that 1t was i'm
possible to count them, for sometimes
there was n mouse at each hole and
sometimes one outside and the others
inside, and sometimes it appeared as II
there were just one long mouse In II
circle revolving on Il pivot, with noses
and tails at intervals.
The mad race was kept up for some
time, and finally all the mice disap-
pcared as If by magic. One of the spec
,tators went into the store and asked
how many mice there were In the cage.
stating that he and his companions had
not been able to decide, as they moved
too quickly to be counted. A clerk said
there was only one mouse. and 1t was
impossible to count 1t except when 1t
was asleep and, seeing a look OF In
credulity on the c~ountenance OF the
caller, raised the top Of the cage and
showed one little black and white
nous nesting on q piece OF cotton III
a corner,-p0rtlnnd Oregonian.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26
TWO MEAN TOWNS.
The Stories That the Travelling Men
Told About Them.

Told About Them.
They were talking about bad towns.
"The meanest place l eve was in,"
said the man who travels for a Chicago
house, sis down in Massachusetts. Say,
do you know what happened while l
was stopping there once? A man had
fallen through a hole in a sidewalk and
sustained injuries that resulted in the
loss Of his right arm. He sued the city
for damages, and the cas- was tried
before a jury, which, the papers said,
was composed Of representative citi-
zens. Well. what do you suppose they
did to him? Brought in a verdict in
favor Of the city, holding that mas
much as he was left handed his injury
didn't amount to anything"
eyes," the cigar man said, "thats a
pretty mean town, l admit, but l know
Of a worse one. This place is in Penn
~sylvania. An acquaintance Of mine
down there was injured some time ago
in pretty much the same way the man
you mentioned got hurt. He fell on q
bad sidewalk and lost n Of his legs.
He sued the city, and didn't get any
thing. I never heard just why, but
probably because the Jurors didn't be-
lieve he needed more than one leg In
his business, seeing that he was a bar
Der and couldn't hone a razor or shave
a man with his foot anyway. But
wait, I haven't come to the point at
which the real meanness developed.
Being a poor man, he couldn't afford to
buy n cork leg, SO he had to get along
with a wooden peg, and n day while
he was crossing the principal street
this peg in some, way got wedged be-
tween n couple Of paving stones right
In the middle Of the street a track.
It took them nearly an hour to get him
loose, and what do you suppose hap,
pened then? Blamed If they didn't GO
and fine him $40 and costs for obstruct.
ing traficw-Chicago Times-H Herald.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26
wherein they Differed.

DR.. Emily Blackwell, II Of the pio-
neers Of her sex in medicine, heard a
young physician deliver a fierce dia-
tribe against. opening the doors of the
profession to women. When he cas-
ed, she asked:
"Will you please tell me n reason
why they should not practice medi-
cine?"
Certainly, madam. They haven't the
muscle, the Drawn. the physical
strength"
II see, sir. Your conception of a
sickroom IL q slaughter house. Mine
is not."-San Francisco Argonaut.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26
FINANCE AND RAD

Business in Germany is temporarily
demorallzed by financial s~tringency.
Financial conditions here and abroad
puzzle bankers. Money in New York
commands 10 to 25 per cent.
The bonds purchased under the recent
offer of the secretary of the treasury SO
far reported amount to $ls, 9s1 $50.
A scheme is on foot to make Mon.
treal the. seaboard terminal for an all
water route for grain from the West.
Libby, McNeill & Libby of Chicago
have just shipped 756, 900 pounds Of
canned beef to the British army in
South Africa.
Iron in very promising quantities has
been discovered in Almakee county, la.
One half section is estimated to contain
at least so, 600, 900 tons.
The Illinois Steel company is project.
ing improvements and additions to its
Bayview plant in Milwaukee that will
cost 81, 900, 600 or more.
The statistician of the department Of
agriculture reports $500, 600 bales as
tUS pGOUdOAO SOVVOA PAS~ASSASh Va sAo
United States for 1S99-10O0.
The comptroller of the currency has
issued a call on national banks for a
statement of their condition at the close
of business Saturday, Dec, 2.
According to the annual report of the
Pillsbury- Washburn company the net
profits were nearly $500, 900 for the
year. An = per cent dividend on pre-
ferred and q 4 per cent dividend on
common stock has been voted. Tbs
annual meeting was held in London.
Coined Words.
Coined words! I have made a little
study Of them myself, always with
disappointing results. always run
across them, after discovering them,
somewhere about 100 years before the
birth Of the inventor. l once coined a
name, away back in 1876, for one of
my SO called humorous characters
B%ilderback. | put the Bilderback fam
lily in jocus print for several years.
One night, about 1887, | lectured in Sa.
lem, N. j., and told one Of my Bilder-
back stories. The. audience was con
vulsed with more mirth than the story
called for. After the lecture | was in
troduced to about a dozen Bilderbacks,
who enjoyed my story more than any
one else.-Robert j. Burdette in Chau-
tauquan.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26
Why a Cemetery Fences

It was a Maine graveyard, and the
fence thereof was In a most disreputa-
BILE condition.
Some Of the neighbors were trying to
start a movement to put a new fence
around the cemetery, and 1t was meet
ing with general approval till the caus-
tic wit Of Darius Howard was aroused.
"What for?" he inquired. whats
the need Of fencing the graveyard?
There amt no n inside that wants to
come out, and I'm darn sure there amt
any one outside that wants to get In.
So what's the need Of the fence"
And the fence was not built till o
had ceased to chuckle over the thrust
of Decentralization Journal.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26
A Novel In a Nutshell.

MGI AlA1s
Met him again--in love with him.
Met him again-no longer In love
with him, but he in love with me, be-
cause l I'm SO, beautiful.
Met him again--he Is still more in
love with me, not only because l am
beautiful, but because l am also good.
Sorry for him.
Again I met him-he Is colder than
he was. Think he has forgotten my
beauty and my goodness. |, however,
I'M inclined to think that l am in love
with him after all. How lucky he Is.
and how angry mamma will be!
Mamma proved to be strangely
pleased. Makes Inc angry, for l know
she is not q good judge Of Il young
girls heart.
Flirted with him outrageously to
make mamma mad-didn't succeed.
Engaged to h%im-glad.
Married to NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. An
SWerS.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26

and comfort and vote to retain him 10
the senate. (3) He may have desired
simply to pay for Mr.. Clark's lunch,
fearing that Mr.. Clark could not afford
the expense. az He may have been OF
the impression that Mr.. CLARK would,
pay for both lunches. Any OF these
thoughts might have actuated the sen
ior senator. Certain it is that both his
friends and enemies are discussing the
incident. The CLARK people look hope
fully towards Mr.. Garter because Mr..
Daily has been their common enemy and
been on their trails like an avenRing
Nemesis. On the other hand, at the
wal office of the Anaconda Standard,
Mr.. Carter's picture is draped III the
national colors, with the words "Our
Tom underneath, for is he not now
one of the eminent counsel Of coal oil
and copper? Why not wait and see
how he stands when Bob Smiths pro.
test comes to a vote. Would he vote
against Mr.. CLARK just to please Bob?
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26
surpr,.ed the CONGREGATION.

Two little folks went to church alone.
1t was only around the corner from
their home, and their mamma knew
they would be safe. During the long
sermon they got tired, and the older
one. supposing that the school rules
held good in church, led his sister up
In front Of the pulpit and said. please
may we go homeY Much surprised,
the clergymen gazed at them over his
s%pectacles. Then he understood. and
said, Certainly, my children" And
the two toddled out while the congre'
cation smiled Weekly Bouquet.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26
Will Consider Specific Allegations.

Butte Miner special: Washington,
D. G., Dec. 2O.-The senate committee
on privileges and elections has decided
to take up the contest case against SEN
ator Clark on January 5. The commit.
tee will only consider specific alleRa-
tions and will ignore general churges
against the senator. This narrows the
inquiry down to the memorial filed by
Senator Garter. The committee will
decide on the 9th whether it will go to
Montana or whether it will send for
witnesses. As the matter now stands
the ~>enelnies of the senator will be
obliged to prove the speific charges
which have been made in the memorial.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26
I'm to Date BObby,

Robert has positively declined to
learn to spell. Womanly intuition adj
monishes Roberts mamma that Robert
will doubtless say something very
bright If pressed, and she accordingly
argues with the boy.
"All great men learned to spell when
they were little boys" she says.
"Well, that was before you could hire
a stenographer for So a week." replies
Robert.
OF course Roberts mamma loses no
time In telephoning for the newspapers
a brief outline of what has happened
and bidding them send their best re-
porters right up.-Detroit Journal.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26
The Actors Card.

II showed them my card at the
door," the actor was complaining. "and
they referred me to the manager. And
what do you suppose he said? He said
ne was sorry. but the demand for seats
had been so great that he had decided
to discontinue the professional free
list"
"Well." said his friend the sharper,
ibid O expect to beat a full house
with n single card?"-New York Com
mercial Advertiser.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26
Blaine and tn

1he senate has always been con
trolled by lawyers. who are the aristo.
cratic class in the United States. and
Blaine was at a disadvantage because
he did not belong to the profession.
The law lords were disposed to dis.
parage and fiout him, but he was dis.
respectful to the verge Of irreverence.
"Does the senator from Maine think
| am an IDIOT" roared Thurman, In
reply to an interrogatory Blaine put
to him one day in the Pacific railroad
debate.
"Well." beloved Blaine. that de.
ponds entirely on the answer you make
to my Observation-Disclosures Evening
Post.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26
DOGS md Men.

The puppy, as such, thinks every one
IL his friend. As he grows up he curbs
his enthusiasm. When an old dog with
gray jowls, he only glares at people
who call to him. Human beings have
many canine traits, including four
teeth Of the sort used by mans best
friend.-New York World.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26

Pittsburg, Dec. 23.-A special to the
Post from Brownsville, Pa, says:
"There is scarcely any hope that any
man in the pit is now alive These
were the words Of Mine inspector
James r. Blick, uttered by him at 10
O'Clock tonight as he stood at the
mouth of the Braznell mine. in whose
depths thirty men are entombed
through an explosion Of fire damp.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26

Brownsville, Pa, Dec. "a. - The
horror of the Braznell mine disaster
grows in intensity with every hour.
The number of the dead is now estimat'
ed at forty and may pass that figure.
At the same time, there il a strong pre-
sumption that the laws regulating min
ing were carelessly and probably Grim
inally disreRarded.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26

w est persons to represent US as managers In
this and, closely counties. Salary $500 q year
and expense. Straight, bonatde. no more, nc
less salary. Position permanent. Our refer
ences, any bank In any town. It Ia mainly office
work conducted at home. Reference. Enclose
self-addrsssed stamped envelope. The DoMIN-
IGN COMPANY. Dept. 3, Chicago. 48-lSf
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26

The denizens Of the forest were Or
ganizing a literary club.
"We must make the porcupine presi-
dent" said Br'er Wolf. "His style Ia
full Of good points"
"Permit me-" remarked Br'er Rabbit.
ito recommend a reptile friend OF
mine. He can put up a rafting tall
Catholic Standard aud Times.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26
Accuracy,

The idea that a strict fidelity to
truth demands accuracy is one which
is seldom entertained, but until we re-
ceive 1t as a principle and embody it
In action we shall never attain a high
degree Of truthfulness.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26

Quick Ia the succession Of human
events. The cares of today are seldom
the cares Of tomorrow. and when we
lie down ut night we may say to most
of our troubles, "Ye have done your
worst, and we shall meet no more"
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26
Time Table
Billings, Mont.
KANSAS CITY,
ST. LOUIS,
SAN FRANCISC 0
LINCOLN,
OMAHA,
CHICAGO,
ST. JOSEPH,

.... e. 0ALI ~,
and all points east. south and west.
TRAINS ARRIVE AMI DEPART AS FoLLows:
No. AZ. Passenger, daily, Chicago, st.
Louis, Kansas CITY, 81. JO-
seph, Atchison, Omaha, Lin
coin, Denver, California, Col
orado and Texas points.
Leave $50 am
No. Al. Passenger, daily from above
points. Arrive ............. 7O3 pm
No. Al. Freight. daily, Sheridan and
intermediate points. Leave 1905 am.
No. As. Freight, daily, from Sheridan
and intermediate points.
Arrive 800 am.
Sleeping, dining and reclining chair
cars (seats free) on through trains.
Tickets sold and baggage checked to
any point in the United States or Can
ada.
For information, maps, tables and tick
cts call on or address j.. l.. Harrington,
Agent, II. B. Segur, General Agent, Bill
ings, Mont. or J.. Francis, General Pas
senger Agent, Omaha, Neb.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26
The Extremes,

The EXtremen,
Hobbs-My landlady has both strong
and weak points.
Dobbs-What are they?
Hobbs-Butter and coffee.-Chicago
News.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-26

The word Asia Is derived from the
Sansk-it Ushas, meaning the land OF
the morning dawn.