davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1899-09-02
Trane11ers' 91rfde,
New York, New Haven and
Hartford Il. II.
June Ii. 1899

FOR NEW YORK-+4: 05, 1850, x6:10.
x7:00. $500, 1910, $3.50, 1886, x1o:SO q. ma.
'l2:00. l2:05, $3.50 (parlor car limited).
1885, 200, $3.50, 800, *4:00, %4:17. 430.
-5;lo, 'b:2O, 6:35. $3.50, 1910, 1910. S:15
NDildgeport accommodation, 1910. 9:15
p. m. Sundays: O5, "a $50, 500 a. m
-2:So. x4:3O, x6:15. 1910, 1910, $780, 1910
p. m.
FOR WASHINGTON via Harlem Riy-
er-*1:O5, *l15O p. m. daily.
FOR BOSTON via Springfleld-s1:1
x1o:l0. "11:05 a. M. +1:45. $3.50 D. M.
eunoay-Nl:l0 a. M, $500 p. m.
FOR BOSTON via New London and
Providence-*2:10. 1920. s1135 (parlor
car hmite) a. M. *12:o5. *2:47, '4:1S,
.4:oo' $3.50 p m. Sundays-*2:10, 1920
q. M. "12:05, 1855, *655 D. m.
FOR MERIDEN. HARTFORD.
epKlNGF1ELD, etc.-"1:1O, $40. 500.
xlO:l0, *1O:50 for White Mountains (flrst
stop HARTFORD. *11:05 a. M, 1910. s1:45.
Fly, b:0o T6:52, (6:15 to HARTFORD. 500.
Ao:oo, H:l5 to Meriden) p. m. Sundays
,-r;lo a. M, 1910, 1852, 1928 d. m.
NEW LONDON DIVISION
ror New London. etc.-~2:1o. 1920.
a:oo' $751; II: 05, '11:35 (parlor car limit
~ a. M, El2:05. *2:47, 800. *4:15. 4:2O.
a:oo' pig. Ito Saybrook Junction), 8:15.
100, S'lo tGuilford acc.) p. M Sunday
zlo' '2;2o. $3.50 a. M. ~12:05. 1855,
AIR LINE DIVISION
FOR Middletown, Willimantic. etc.
s:4o a. M, 1856. 1888. 6:ob D. m. SUM
aavs-El5 p. m. Connecting at Mid
aletown with the Valley branch and at
Wl!Amantic with Midland and Central
oAvislons and G. v. r. r.: at Turneryilla
WIN Colchester branch.
NORTHAMPTON DIVISION
For Snelburne Falls, Turner's Falls.
Williamsburg. Holyoke, New Hartford
ana intermediate stations-7:5o q, IA. and
4:oo p. n For Westfield and intermedi-
ATE stations, SGT D. M
ror bennington, New Hartford and
points this side-7:5o a. M, 1904. 400.
6:57 p. m. -ss'
BERKSHIRE DIVISION
For Derby Junction, Derby. Ansonia.
etc.-7:00, 500. 9:35 q. m. 1910 GAG a,57
b:sb 1850. 11:2O p. m. sundays-s:1o a.
m. and $3.50 p. m.
FOR Waterbury-7:0O, $500, 9:35 a. M.
iS:oo. 2:Ss, 6;S5. 1850, 1920 .. m. sum
'oays-S:lO a. M, 6:15 p. m. (yia Nauea-
tuck Junction.) - W.
For Winsted-7:00, 9:35 a. M, 1888, 6:ss
7:o0 p. m. SundaysNS:10 q. nj. 6:1S n.
m: (via Naug. Junc)
For shelton, Botsford, Newtown, DAM
bury, Pittsfeld. State line--9:S5 q. M,
1867 p. m.
FOR Albany, Buffalo, Detroit. Cincin-
natl, ST. Louis. Chicago and the West
VIA Bridgeport-6:10 a. M; via State line
--9:35 a. M. 1857 p. m.
For Litchfleld and points on Litchneld
branch (via Derby Junctionl-9:s5 a. N,
1857 p. m.
Express Trains. xLocal Express.
G. T. HAMPSTEAD.
General Passenger Agent
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1899-09-02

mander's compliments requested him to
report at headquarters at once. Major
Ennis fastened to obey and in few
minutes he was before General Davis,
confidently saluting the commander Of
the division.
Major Ennis" began General Davis,
II have detailed you as a special court
Of inquiry TO investigate into and report
upon the death of COW said to be the
property of a farmer residing in the
neighborhood, and who claims 1t was
shot by soldiers in my division. want
you to ascertain If possible, the names
of the persons who killed the cow, and,
If not the names the regiment to which
they belong, the name and address of
| the rghtful owner of the COW, when and
where the animal was killed and its
value. You will report to headquarters
| In writing"
| The major took notebook from his
pocket wrote in it the queries In full
and then asked the general to verify
them and sign his name If they were
correct General Davis added his sig
nature and the major retired to begin
| his investigate The following day
he reported in writing that the COW had
been killed by members of the Twenty
second Kansas Infantry, names I'M
known; that it belonged to the farmer
who made the complaint that 1t had
been killed on a certain June afternoon
near the farmers home and that it was
valued at $40. The general was salts
fed and complimented Major Ennis on
the thoroughness of his inquiry. AS
Larry returned to his quarters he
chuckled softly to himself When he
told the other officers the hilarity be-
came great, The joke was getting bet
ter.
The next day the different commands
of the division wheeled into position
for long practice march across the
hlue hills of Virginia General Davis
sat astride his horse near the roadway
proudly watching hi9 army as it swept
out across the valley, and he looked adj
miringly at the straight-ba backed boys
of the Seventh Illinois trudgng past
with soldierly swing. Suddenly from
the ranks there came a thunderous
shout:
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1899-09-02
NEWS OF LODGES.

Garfield council, No. IA, o. U. A. NJ
held meeting last evening and worked
the third degree on one candidate. Fol-
lowing the business meeting a social SEES
sion was held which took the nature OF
a smoker and watermelon cut. Twelve
big melons were cut.
A number Of pleasing selections on the
piano were rendered by Stanley A
Smith.
Excelsior chapter No. 8, Order OF
Eastern Star, will hold its yearly mem
orial service in Masonic hall on Church
street. September II. Arrangements
for the event have not been completed
but it is announced that a number OF
prominent speakers have been invited to
be present The chapter held its month
ly tea last evening.
The degree team of Elm Tree lodge
No. So, N. e. Q. p, will enjoy a supper
at the Forbes house at Morris Cove,
September Z.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1899-09-02

who killed the cow" the regiment
was asked in mighty chorus.
The Twenty second Kansas" was
the answer equally mighty.
who ate the beef?' then came from
the lusty-lunged Chicago boys.
THE Seventh Illinois"
This reply was louder than all the
rest. General Davis turned in his sad
die. AS he listened peculiar smile
crossed his face There was light in
darkness.
When the days march was completed
and Major Ennis was again in camp
an orderly delivered to him another or
der to report to headquarters. After
the Major had saluted the general
asked:
Were you not detailed to investigate
the death of a COW yesterday"
II was, sir" replied the major,
did you submit complete report of
that occurrence?'
II reported the facts on all points
upon which you asked for information. y
Did you in that report indicate what
was done with the beef from the cow"
THE information was not asked for,
sir"
Are you sure it was not?"
IT have the memorandum of your in
quiries here. 1t is verified by your sig
nature, sir"
Very well, major An oversight,
probably. But it is strange you did
not notice it. Now I will detail you
upon another court of inquiry. Posi-
bly, you will be able to submit your
report Immediately. Who ate the
beef?"
The Seventh illinois," said the ma
jor, sadly, after a silence.
That evening a subscription paper
passed around among few of the
Seventh Illinois officers. 1t was with
drawn when the total reached $40. The
Kansans heard of it before dawn They
laughed last.-Chicago Evening Post.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1899-09-02
New Haven Steamboat Co

Depot: Belle Dock, New Haven, Conn.
Between New York, New Haven and Prov.
idence
Popular Route to and from Boston Daily
Service, Sundays Included
NEW HAVEN LINE-Leave New Haven
for New York: CONTINENTAL ii a. M.
RICHARD PECK or G. H. NORTHAM 12;46
ARD ARD, PECK or g. Il. . No SisM AM I'M 8. H.
CONTINENTAL - midnight -rs 4-e-
NARKAGANSETT BAY LINE-Steamers
RICHARD PECK or C. H. NORTHAM leave
New Haven for Providence 1890 D. M; re-
turning leave Providence 4:4O pm Timely
train connections for Boston and all eastern
points.
Popular Passenger Rates. Staterooms and
Tickets for sale at Peck & Bishop Co.. 7O2
Chapel street
Fine orchestra on Bay Line steamers
CHAS. /. FRENCH, Agent.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1899-09-02
FERRY STREET CONGREGATION
AL CHURCH.


Communion service will be held at the
Ferry street church Sunday afternoon al
2 o'clock. The regular pastor, Rev
Chauncey J, Hawkins will preach al
the evening service. Subject, Inspired
and Inspiring Lives" The church quar-
let will resume it's work at this service
Owing to illness, however, Miss Penn
soprano, will sing next Sunday evening
in place of Miss Murphy, and Riley
Phillips, bass, in place Of Mr., Hall.
Musical progremme is as follows:
Anthem-"The Lord is My Shepard
SHAW
Choir Hymn-"Softly and Tenderly'
...... ......... Thompson
Response-"Softly Now the Light of
LAY ....... ..... -.......... HeWS
Anthem-"God is Love-. ...... Shelley
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1899-09-02
STARIN's
New Haven TIraanPoeEEttIaatiop Co.

Steamer JOHN II. STARIN, Captain Nc.
Allister, leaves New Haven from Starin's
Pier, foot Of Brown street, at 1O:15 p. M,
Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. Steam
son, Mondays. Wednesdays Sand and Fr HH
The STARIN leaves New York from Pier
10, ,Ncrth River, at ?. m; Mondays, Wed.
SG Sundays anI Tyesdays and T6ursdays
Fare rs cents !: Excursion Tickets $1.25.
staterooms S1.oo.
eHes s saa for P sas
ops, .7o2 Chapel street. Free stage leaves
the depot on arrival Of Hartford train
and from corner Of Church and Chapel
.. m. Through freight rates given and
bills of lading to all points West, South
and Southwest. G. Fl. FISHER, Agent.
Order your freight via Starln Line.
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1899-09-02
LATEST FAIR HAVEN NEWS
THE BODY OF r.. ID. FITZSIuuON
BROUGHT TO HIS HOME.

Funeral of Mrs. tlnry G. BARNES Held
Many Church Meetings This Week
Fair Haveners Returning from Va
The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1899-09-02
WILLING FORD.

A petition asking them to visit the
wall street crossing and thus satisfy
themselves as to its danger has been
sent to the board of railroad commits
sioners. 1t is signed by Acting Warden
Backes and the burgesses of the Dor
ough.
N. r. Ingraham was thrown from his
suIky on the East Center street race
The broad ax., 1899-08-12
An Unique InstIrution.

II there were more men In the world
like Ebert Hubbard Of East Aurora,
". Y, II would be a good deal more
prosperous and the theater Of a good
deal less discomfort Mr.. Hubbard
was and still is a prosperous stock
breeder. Some years ago, with an OBJ
ject In view, he established the Roy
croft Shop in his little village, and De,
gan the publication Of the "Philistine,
a periodical that Is absolutely unique
in matter and makeup. In the pro-
duction OF the magazine he enlisted
the services Of the young men OF the
village. and very soon they became
more interested in the art preseryative
than they had even been in billiards.
Very naturally the village girls were
also interested and became enthuslas-
tic in the art of book illustration. The
"Philistine," which is known every
where, in its makeup is one OF the
most artistic Of periodicals. and the
books bearing the imprint Of the Roy
croft Shop are as nearly faultless as
books can well be made. The Roy
crofters now not only print, nlumlne
and bind books, but they produce ar
tistic pieces of furniture, beautiful
things in iron, and pottery Of no mean
quality. About hundred workers are
engaged, and the idea is to give con-
genial employment to every young
man and woman in the village who
wants to work. Good wages are paid,
and besides this profits are divided at
the end OF the year. II all this Is
not Christian Civilization in the best
sense, where will you find it?-From
the st. John IN. b. Gazette.
The broad ax., 1899-08-12
oYsrER AND SPONGE FISHING.
Rsrolutioa Of the Industry BrOaght
Aboat by Submarine Boat

Rsrolation OF the Industry Broaghs
Aboat by sabmariae Boat
The submarine boat will revolution
lie the oyster industry, says Lppin-
colts. When In Chesapeake bay,
cruising, the old Argonaut frequently
settled down en- oyster beds and. with
the permission Of the owners, procured
all the oysters desired by reaching
down through the sea door. The new
Argonaut can employ this method Of
gathering oysters. rising to the sur
face when the diving room is full, or
send out divers, who can place the
oysters collected in baskets or recepta-
cles, which those on the surface can
haul up. When bays or rivers are
frozen over and oystermen cannot ply
their trade the Argonauts can go I'M
der the Ice. Fishing can also be carried
on easily on the bottom with nets, for
the fish have no fear Of the object they
evidently consider a whale, and swim
from every direction toward the glare
of the electric lights shining through
the ports. Sponge fishing will engage
the attention Of the first successful
submarine voyagers. Good sponges
are becoming dearer, for the supply in
shallow water is running short. The
divers cannot go deeper than twenty
five feet, and the best sponges are
found In deep water. To this deep
water the Argonaut will go. and. gath
ering the finest sponges. put them on
the market at a price no greater than
that paid for the common varieties.
She will also try pearl fishing, now
conducted at an enormous expense OF
life, for by a strange freak Of nature
pearl oysters are generally found In
localities where bad weather prevails
and hurricanes and typhoons are fire.
quent These the Argonaut, under the
water, need not fear, and her divers,
instead OF gathering up the oysters by
the single handful, can gather them by
the bushel.
The broad ax., 1899-08-12
Mrs. johnson
Sawed from
EBsanityby
Mrs Pfnk1ban

menced to have spells with my spine.
Every month ] grew worse and at last
became so bad that 1 found / was
gradually losing my mind
THE doctors treated me for female
troubles, but got no better. One
doctor told me that / would be insane.
i was advised by friend to give Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound .
trial, and before had taken all Of the
first bottle my neighbOrs noticed the
change in me.
IL have now taken five bottles and
cannot find words sufficient to praise it.
/ advise every woman who is suffering
from any female weakness to give It .
fair trial. i thank you for your good
medicine. "-MKs. GERTRUDE N. JOHN
son, JoNEsBoRo, TEXAS.
The broad ax., 1899-08-12
Miss Susan wymar.

find relief in Pe-ru-na This has been
my experience. A friend in need is a
friend indeed. and every bottle of Pc
ru-na l ever bought proved a good
friend to me."-Susan Wymar.
Mrs. Margaretha Dauben, 1914 North
Superior St., Racine City, Wis,
writes: "I feel so well and good and
happy now that pen cannot describe It.
Pe-ru-na is everything to me. I have
taken several bottles Of Pe-ru-na for
female complaint. / am in the change
of life and II does me good" Pe-ru-na
has no equal in all OF the irregularities
and emergencies peculiar to women
caused by pelvic catarrh.
Address DR.. Hartman, Columbus, o.
for a free book for women only.
The broad ax., 1899-08-12
The ProdIgal Son in Atriea.

The cannibal chief stood with his
hand shading his eyes. A solitary fig-
ure was timidly creeping towards him
from the jungle.
Suddenly the old chief stared. He
took a quick step forward.
cit is" he cried, 1T is my son! He
is coming home again!"
Then with his eyes still fixed on the
slouching figure he shrilly called to his
head hunter:
"Mbongwa, the prodigal is return
ingi Kill the fatted Kaf1rr-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
The broad ax., 1899-08-12
B. q o. REcEIvERsHlP ENDED.
New oneers savs Taken Charge Of rhs
RoAd.


Road
Baltimore. July 1.-The receivership
If the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad
terminated at II O'Clock last night and
the property was turned over TO the
stockholders without celebration or
formal ceremony. John K Cowen
and Oscar G. Murray were appointed
receivers OF the company on February
18th, 1896, by the United States court
for the District of Maryland. Being
familiar with the needs OF the property
the receivers decided that the only
wise course to pursue was TO pracu-
cally rebuild and re-equip the railroad.
The physical condition was bad, Its
equipment Anticipated and inadequate
to handle business and its insufnciency
was such as to seriously inture the
revenues. The receivers plans were
discussed by the security holders anu
as large majority agreed TO the pro
vision of enough funds to place the
road In a condition to handle its traf-
&c, they obtained permission OF the
court to issue certificates for the pur-
chase, by means of equipment trusts
and receivers certificates, Of new cars
and locomotives and to improve the
physical condition Of the property.
The plan also provided for the payment
In full Of all receivers Indebtedness.
the entire floating debt OF the COM
pany, represented by promissory notes
and negotiable obligations and OF all
car trust obligations. enabling the COM
pany to begin the fiscal year OF 1893
1900 with all its obligations paid. For
the reason that reorganization was
possible without foreclosure. the orig
inal charter OF the company remains In
force, and the next annual meeting OF
the stockholders will be the I'D. The
new stock OF the company is held by In
terests which cannot Vail to be OF great
help to the property and much new
capital has been invested in the Sc
curities, and there is a suff1ciency OF
money for still further improvements
which are in progress. with view to
still further reducing the cost Of trans
portation.
The broad ax., 1899-08-12
nlu.trnted Cirnrette..

Chicago Tribune: A firm of cigarette
manufacturers in Paris has taken ad-
vantage Of the excitement over the
Dreyfus case to advertise cigarette pa
per In books. each leaf containing the
portrait and biography OF one OF the
actors in the famous case. On the pa
pers viii also be printed summaries OF
the proceedings in "the affair" Prizes
are offered for the best articles on the
subject. TO be printed on the cigarette
paper. These papers," the advertise
ment continues. will be the most
powerful means OF spreading knowl-
edge Of the great struggle for right
The broad ax., 1899-08-12
Remember that cholera mOrbus

Remember that cholera morbus,
cholera infantum, summer COM
plant, bilious collie, diarrhoea and
dysentery are each and all catarrh
of the bowels. Catarrh is the only
correct name for these affections.
Pe-ru-na is an absolute specific for
these ailments, which are so com
non in summer. DR.. Hartman, in
a practice OF over forty years, never
lost a single case Of cholera infan-
tum, dysentary, diarrhoea, or chol-
era morbus, and his only remedy
was Pe-ru-na. Those desiring fur
Their particulars should send for a
free copy Of Summer Catarrh."
Address DR.. Hartman, Columbus. o.
The broad ax., 1899-08-12

when Commodore DEWEY left WasA.
tngtoA in November, 1887, to take com
mand Of the neet in the Pacific ocean.
ne did not ride on pass or q hall
rate ticket Being personal friend Of
s. B. Hege, General Agent OF the Bal-
timore & Ohio passenger department
IN Washington, the now famous sea
fighter, bought two frst-class tickets
from Washington to San Francisco via
the B. and o., Chicago and North
Western. Union Pacific and Southern
Pacific lines. Lieut.. Brumby accom-
panied the admiral and they departed
on November q. Some time ago. Man
ager Of Passenger Trahic d. B. Mar
tin Of the Baltimore and Ohio Railroad
set out to collect the coupons OF the
ticket and only recently secured All
Of them. He has had the ticket, con-
tanning Dewey's signature. Telegraph
ed. and Is issuing fac SMILES as SOU
venirG
The broad ax., 1899-08-12
The Obstacle.

Tommy, aged 5, and his cousin Will
lie, aged 6. had several little alterca-
lions, in which Tommy invariably got
the worst Of 1t. One day his mamma
said to him:
Tommy, tomorrow is Willie's birth
day. Wouldn't you like to give him
something's" -.-
You just better believe I would"
was the reply; but. you see. he's big
ger than ! am, and can't."-Tit-Bits.
The broad ax., 1899-08-12

Not long ago." says the Cleveland
Plain Dealer. ''the pastor dined with
the family. and Master Tommy was at
the table. He behaved pretty we'll
until the cake was brought in. Then
he suddenly lurched forward and
snatched the piece he sized up as the
biggest.
Why, Tommy cried his distressed
mother, you are forgetting that DR..
Choker is herei'
The boy gave the worthy pastor a
whitening look.
Nav, Amt forgettin' IT, he
snarled; II he wasn't here I'd git two
piecesn"
The broad ax., 1899-08-12
Irinmnhant Instinet.

. Fuddy-Remarkable cure, that case
OF Mrs. Blanke's.
Duddy-Haven't heard about It.
What was Il?
Fuddy-She has recovered her voice.
You know she hasn't been able to
speak for three years. They induced
her to play a game of whist, and she
was talking before she knew .it.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
The broad ax., 1899-08-12

quaintance of Mr.. Mckinley while the
latter was a guest at the Ebbitt during
his years as a member Of the house.
The president has fifteen or more IA
zors, which are cared for by his bar
Der. They compose the finest set in
Washington. all ,being OF the best
make. The steward Of the white house
notifies the barber when he is wanted.
The president sits in a common chair.
and chats with the barber while the
latter works over him. The president
Is not fussy, and is the delight Of bar
bers because he Is so easily satisfied.
He never complains that the razors
hurt his face nor criticises.
The broad ax., 1899-08-12
Wrecked on the coast.


~How do the really independent Ger
man thinkers feel about this idea of
miner" asked the kaiser.
"The Independent thinkers?" echoed
the official vacantly.
Yes. Those who aren't In any way
personally Influenced by my lese mai
esty threats or my other facilities for
assuming autocratic power.
at don't know how they feel. your
majesty. / haven't heard from Gin
clnnati or st. Louis lately. Washing
ton Star.
The broad ax., 1899-08-12

Railroads generally East and West
are rapidly fitting their freight cars
with air brakes and automatic coup
lers. An officer Of the Burlington
road said in Chicago recently that on
his line there are $1,000 freight cars,
60 per cent of which are equipped
with Westinghouse Air Brakes, and 80
per cent with Master Car Builder Au-
tomato Couplers.
The broad ax., 1899-08-12

The completion Of the million and a
half dollar terminals Of the Burlington
Railroad at Quincy. ILL.,. marks an i'm
portant stage in the development of
that system. II was only five years
ago that the road built into st. Louis,
and established there an enormous
freight yard. with a capacity OF 5000
cars. Elsewhere, at Chicago. st. Paul.
Kansas City and Denver, the Burling-
ton has facilities for handling freight
and passengers that are unexcelled.
The broad ax., 1899-08-12
II Goe. Without saving.

Clara-One can't believe a word the
men say any more.
Maud-Why not?
Clara-Well, there's Jack; he prom
ised faithfully never to tell any one II
would permit him to kiss me just
once, and in less than a minute he had
repeated il.
The broad ax., 1899-08-12

1t Is not generally known that when
person falls in calm water a common
felt hst may be made use OF as a life
Breservef, and by placing the hat upon
tAe water, rim down, with the arm
round 1t, pressing 1t slightly to the
breast, 1t will bear a man up for hours.
The broad ax., 1899-08-12
Work for All.

Thousands of men are making good
wages in the harvest fields Of Mime
sofa, North and South Dakota. There
is room for thousands more. Half
rates via the Great Northern Ry. from
st. Paul. Write Max Bass, 220 South
Clark Street. Chicago.
The broad ax., 1899-08-12
NO REMEDY EQUALS PERUNA,
so THE WOMEN ALL SAY.

Miss Susan Wymar, teacher in the
Richmond school. Chicago. Ill. writes
the following letter to DR.. Hartman re-
garding Pe-ru-na. She says: only
those who have suffered as | have can
know what a blessing il is to be able to
The broad ax., 1899-08-12
A Possible Reason.

"I don't see why a woman is always
holding up her skirt with one hand"
growled Beckett.
81 suppose" replied Mrs. B., 'it's be-
cause she has no trousers pocket to
carry her hand around in"
The broad ax., 1899-08-12
someuhat Different.

Lawyer-Do 1 understand that you
wish to bequeath a thousand-dollar
watch to your son?
Dying Man (feebly)-No, no! To my
friend for-for a watch upon my
son!-Jewelers' Weekly.