davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18
Joe JefferSOn's Dog.

Joseph Jefferson, when asked the other
day why he never brought his dog
Schneider" upon the stage in rip Van
Wrinkle" replied: THE public could not
pay me a higher compliment than to
want to see a dog it has only heard of.
1t shows interest in me. But [ dislike
realism in art, and realism alive, and
with tail to wag at the wrong time,
would be embarrassing i1GId the mirror
up to nature, if you like; but don't hold
nature up. Give US a reflection of the
thing, but not the concrete thing itself"
-Pittsburg DISPATCH.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18
TWO GRATEFUL WOMEN
Restored to Health by Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
"Can Do Ny Own Work"
Mrs. PATRICK DANEHY,

Mrs. PATRICK DANEHY,
West Winsted, Conn, writes:
''DEAR Mrs. PINKHAM:-It is with
pleasure that l write to you of the
benefit | have derived from using your
wonderful Vegetable Compound. was
very i'll, suffered with female weak
ness and displacement of the womb.
''1couldnotsl eepat night, had to walk
the floor, suffered SO with pain in my
side and small of my back. Was trou-
bled with bloating, and at times would
faint away; had terrible pain in my
heart, bad taste in my mouth all the
time and would vomit; butnow, thanks
to Mrs. Pinkham and her Vegetable
Compound, l feel we'll and sleep well,
can do my work without feeling tired;
do not bloat or have any trouble
whatever.
4 sincerely thank you for the good
advice you gave me and for what your
medicine has done for me-"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18
Glad He STAYED.

Mr.. T., business man of Cleveland,
says the Plain Dealer, rents deskroom in
his office to Mr.. B., whence the following
story: ''Is Mr.. B. in?" asked a caller.
No" replied Mr.. T., thinking he recog-
nized an unwelcome caller. 'Well, I'll
wait for him" replied the caller, sitting
down.
At 5 o'clock he was still waiting.
At $50, still waiting.
a few minutes before 6 Mr. T. closed
his desk for the day and prepared to go
home. The caller ventured 70 ask if Mr.
4. was likely to return to his office that
day. Mr.. T. answered:
No; he is in Buffalo, and will be back
next Tuesday morning"
The caller showed no anger. On the
contrary, he smiled.
Don't apologize" he said, 'my bust
ness was not important, and your office
has proved a pleasant lounging place.
Fact is" he blandly added, Il suppose
I'm coming down with the smallpox, and
the, doctor told me 1 must stay indoors
and keep warm"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18
ROME IN THE 18TH CENTURY.
AS it Appeared to the Hero of Marion
Crawford's New Romance

Marion Crawford's newly-published
book on Rome shows an unusually init
mate knowledge of the past history and
present condition of the Eternal city His
familiarity with the subject is still more
plcturesQuely shown in his romance of
the second crusade, ''Via Crucis," in the
century. From the January number we
quote this description of the city in the
IWelfth century, as it revealed itself to
Gilbert Warde, the hero of the story:
OF Duke Godfrey IN September; the
Christmas bells were ringing when he
first caught sight of the walls and tow
ers of Rome. AS he drew rein on the
crest of a low hill, the desolate brown
waste of the Campagna stretched behind
hlm mile upon mile to nOrthWard, toward
the impenetrable forests of Viterbo, and
Rome was at last before him. Before
him rose the huge, half-ruined walls of
Aurelian. battered by Goth and Saracen
and imperial Greek; before him lowered
the fortress of Hadrian's tomb, vast. i'm
pregnable, ferocious. Here and there
above the broken cancellations of the
city's battlements rose dark and slender
towers, square and round, marking the
places where strong robbers had fortified
themselves within the city. But from
the point where Gilbert halted Rome
seemed but a long brown ruin, with pOr
tons standing whole, as brown as the
blue. unlocked by the least fleece of
cloud in the matchless clearness OF the
winters morning. Profound d:sappOint-
ment came upon him as he looked. With
little knowledge and hardly any informa-
ton from others who had journeyed by
the same road, he had built himself an
imaginary city Of unspeakable beauty,
wherein graceful churches rose out of
sunlit streets and fair open places plant
ed with lordly avenues of trees. There,
in his thoughts. walked companies of
men with faces like the face Of the great
Bernard, splendid with innocence, radi-
ant with the hope of life. Thithcr, in his
fancy, came the true knights of the
earth purified Of sin by vigils in the holy
places of the East, to renew unbroken
vows of chastity and charity and faith.
There, in his dream, dwelt the venerable
father of bishops. the Vicar of Christ,
the successor of Peter, the spotless head
of the Holy Roman Catholic and Apos-
tolic church. There, in his heart, he had
made the dwelling Of whatsoever things
are upright and just and perfect in heav-
en-. and pure and beautiful on earth.
That was the city of God, of which his
soul was the architect, and in which he
was to be d dweller, in peace that should
mass understanding.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18
Paid by Results.

A while ago somebody suggested with a
touch of scorn that preachers ought to be
paid by results PAID by results -
how the money would roll in upon us +,
To speak the word at critical moment
which shall turn a faltering young man
or woman into the path of life-how
much for that? To utter thoughts which
widen and purify mans soul, and which
save him from lapsing into sordid sen
sual life-how much for that? To in
spre with fresh hope one sinking into
grief aud unbelief and despair-how
much for that? Men with religious in
sight and utterance are to be valued as
gifts of God-they are the stars in the
hand Of the Great Head of the Church,
to guide, to cheer, to enlighten, until the
shadows flee away.-W. L. Watkinson in
Good Housekeeping.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18
English Coal Boxes.

The metal coal scuttle found in Ameri-
can homes, painted, japanned, enameled,
in many styles and shapes, is not used in
England. In its stead there is used an or
namental hardwood box, made of anyone
of the different kinds of wood, furnished
with solid stationary brass carrying
handle, and a drop lid, which conceals Il
galvanized-iron coalboX, which slips in
and out of the box easily 1t is really an
attractive piece of furniture for a room.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18
Cannot Praise It Enough"

Miss GERTIE DUNKIN,
Franklin, Neb., writes:
g I suffered for some time with pain
full and irregular menstruation, falling
of the womb and pain in the back. 1
tried physicians, but found no relief.
Twas at last persuaded to try Lydia
e. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound,
and cannot praise it enough for what
it has done for me. I feel like a new
person, and would not part with your
medicine. / have recommended it to
several of my friends"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18
4 Remedy Zoe Lh. Cr;poe.

A remedy recommended for pa:ieuts af-
ffiicted with the grippe is Kemp's Hal*am,
which is especially adapted TO dirca~es OF
the throat and lungs. Do no. wait for
the first symptoms Of the disease, bat get
a bottle today and keep il on HAND for
use the moment it is needed. If neglected
the grippe has a tendency 10 bring on
pneumonia. The Balsam prevents this by
keeping the cough loose. All druggists
sell the Balsam
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18
Try Grain-O! Try Grain-O!

Ask your Grocer today to show you
package Of GRAIN-O, the new food drink
that takes the place of coffee. The chill
dren may drink it without injury as well
as the adult. All who try it, like it.
GRAIN-O has that rich seal brown Of
grains, and the most delicate stomach re-
ceives it without distress. Il the price Of
coffee. 15c. and % cts. per package. Sold
by all grOcerS
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18
In Winter Use ALIENS Foot-Ease.

A powder to be shaken into the shoes.
During winter your feet feel uncomfort-
If you have perspiring, smarting feet or
tight shoes, try ALIENS FOOT-EASE.
1t warns and rests the feet and makes
walking easy. Cures swollen and sweat
ing feet, blisters and callous spots. Re
Eeves cOrns and buniOns of all pain and
is a certain cure for Chilblafns and Frost
bites. Try it today. Sold by all drug
gists and shoe stores for 25c. Trial
package mailed FREE. Address, Allen
S. Olmstead, LIE Roy, n Y
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18
Emperor Builds Everywhere.

One morning Emperor William, who has
a great penchant for building churches.
was riding in his carriage on Inter den
Linden, when an old gentleman espied him
from a distance, and Immediately barred
his head, which was as bald as a billiard
ball Suddenly the old gentleman felt
somebody touching his shoulder, and heard
a voice behind him saying: "Say. old
man, you had better cover your head. for
wherever the Emperor notices a bald spot
he'll surely build a church. "
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

There is Q story told Of a traveller in
the tropical forest who. thinking to drink
water from some tree or vine, tapped in
stead, unwittingly, a rubber-bearing
plant. Mixing little rum with the LIQUOR
hours later, with rubber bands clogging
every turn of his intestines. The inSuIat-
ed victim of this travellers tale finds his
counterpart in actual life in a New Jersey
man, who went around lately with 4 bot
tie of rubber pellets, which he ate to pre-
vent another man from hypnotizing him
with electricity. His idea was, he said.
that he could thus ''insulate his mind''
successfully
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18
Scene: A Railway Carriage.

I IIsU -iTIIsI- CnIIUTeN don seem fC
me to sell now as they used to-
Second Artist Gn a hoarse whisper)-
Wei, | was at Stodge's yesterday; he
had just knocked off three little girls
heads, horrid raw things when a dealer
came in, sir, bought 'em directly, took 'em
away, wet as they were. on the stretcher.
and wanted Stodge to let him have some
more next week.
Old Lady quitting her head out of the
window and shrieking)-''Gua stop the
train and let me out, or III be murderedr'
-Tit-Bits.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18
Catarrh Cannot BE Cured

with LOCAL APPLICATIONS as they can
not reach the seat of the disease. Catarrh
is a blood or constitutional disease, and in
order to cure it you must take internal
ternally, and acts directly on the blood and
mucous surfaces. Halls Catarrh Cure Is
not quack medicine. 1t was prescribed by
one of the best physicians in this country
for years. and is a regular prescription. 1t
is composed of the best tonics known COM
bined with the best blood purifiers. acting
directly on the mucous surfaces. The per-
feet combination of the two ingredients is
what produces such wonderful results in
curing Catarrh. Send for testimonials. free.
T. ]. CHENEY & Co. Props, Toledo, ..
Sold by DRUGGISTS nrica Inc
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18
Nickel Steel for Racing Yachts

The latest application of nickel steel
is for the construction of racing yachts
A German firm is to supply the nickel
steel plates for the construction Of the
Shamrock, the yacht which is being built
to sail for the America cup. 1t is be-
ing designed by William Fife of Fairlie
and the work upon it has begun already.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

Queen Victoria has sent some inter
esting gifts to the Battenberg Memorial
museum at CarisbroOke castle, including
4 number of Stuart relics which have
been kept for many years at Windsor
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

Rev. DR.. Jere Witherspoon Of the
First Presbyterian church, Baltimore,
who has been called to Grace church,
Richmond, Va. preached at the renter
ment Of the bodies Of President and Mrs.
Dolly
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18
Easy Chances,

A slip may sprain, a thump may
bruise; easy chances for pain and trou-
bic. An easy way to cure right off is to
use st. Jacobs Oil. 1t takes no chances
and knows what it can do.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18
Germany and Asia Minor.

1t is inevitable that Asia Minor shall
eventually pass from MOhammedanism, and
whether Germany accomplishes the task or
not, the Sultan must yield to q Christian
nation. 1t is just as inevitable that diseases
of the digestive organs must yield to Hos
letters Stomach Bitters, which are usually
called dyspepsia, constipation and bilious
ness.
-Signor Mascagni is the plaintiff in a
libel suit now in progress before the
Trieste (Austria) court against Signor
Giacomeili, who had accused the com
poser of ignoring a hotel bill run up at
Trieste in 1886.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18
Lanes Family Medicine.

Moves the bowels each day. In order
to be healthy this is necessary. Acts
gently on the liver and kidneys. Cures
sick headache. Price, % and SOC.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

Mr.. Hardhead (crazy maO-"Ah. ha.
Caught you at last, have /? l under
stand, sir, that you have been calling
me liar, and thief, and born scoun-
drel, a wifebeater and bigamist and
drunkard."
Mr.. Greathead-"R Really, you surprise
me. l have no recollection Of"
Mr.. Hardhead hotly)-"I know it's
true. Mr.. GoOdheart said he heard you"
Mr.. Greathead-"G oodheart? | remem-
Der now what you refer to. But that.
my friend, was during the election cam
paign.'
Mr.. Hardhead-"Oh. The campaign.
Beg pardon. WhatH you take?"-New
York Weekly.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

The bones and muscles of the human
body are capable of over 1900 different
movements.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

Gen. Wheeler ascribes his hardihood
to regular hours. He goes to bed every
night at 10 and rises at I 80 in the morn
ing.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

Brighton. Harrison @. Otis, now
serving in the Philippines, enlisted in the
Civil war with President Mckinley in
the Twenty-third Ohio. Private McI<in-
ley rose to be a breyet-major and Private
Otis 4 colonel
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

The senior senator from Connecticut,
Orville II. Platt, is over II years old,
and his colleague, Joseph r. Hawley, is
over -
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

bers Of people die of consumption
needlcssly. It is certain that every
phase Of catarrh, including many cases
of consumption, are cured by the right
treatment. Pe-ru-na, DR.. Hart-aan's
great prescription, attacks catarrhal
diseases scientifically and cures them
DR.. Hartman explains it fully in his
books which arc mailed on application
Here is letter from Mrs uarmening.
Mazo Mamie, Wis, who is one of many
cured of consumption by Pe-ru-na.
She says:
Pr-ry-na Medlcznc Co., C0I1lubus, G,
DEAR SIRs:-''I cannot praise your
remedy too highly. Last winter had
Ia grippe and hemorrhagc of the lungs
followed. All the doctors around here
told me I had to die Of consumption
Then thought would ask DR.. Hart
man for advice, which / did. He pre-
scribed Pe-rJ1-na for nc, and / took it
according to his directions and was
cured. | advise everybody that il
troubled with lung disease to take DR..
Hartman's treatment. am sure they
will not regret it if they do. am now
enjoying good health. and can thank
Pe-ru-na for it.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

For lung and chest diseases, Piso's
Cure il the best medicine we have used
Mrs. ]. L. Northcott, Windsor, Ont,
Canada.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

Mrs. WtnslOyy's SOOTHING SYRUP for children
teething, softenS the gums, reduces Inflammation,
allays pain. cures wind collie. CSC q bottle
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

Mothe. I gave you shilling to be
good yesterday and today you are trying
to show how bad you can be-"
Nilhe-'Ies: but I'm just trying to
show you that you got your money
worth yesterday. "-Tit-Bits.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18
To Cure a Cold in One Day

Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund the money if it fails to cure.
Csc. The genuine has l.. B. @. on each ia blet
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

preaching a sermon against the stage, I
admission to your show, in order that l
might see for myself the extent of this
great immortality" Manager Ito ticket
seller)-"Charie, give the doctor a seat
in the orchestra, and charge it to adver
Using. '-Harlem Life.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18
SPINNING WHEEL.

THE MAIDEN'S AIN,

THE MAIDEN'S AIN.
he pelted her neatly, from head to feet,
With snowballs soft and with snowballs
fleet,
And seemed to think it no end of fun;
While she was busy preparing one,
Rolling, pounding it hard and sound,
With snow Scooped up from the 1eecy
ground.
They aimed-she her missile fair and clear;
But he did not dodge, for he did not fear;
But calmly waited to see it fly,
And far from its target wildly shy.
When, whack! on the side of his smiling
face
He caught it right in the v1~y- place
She had meant to paste it. By Jove, and
Mars,
And Jupiter AElmon, but he saw stars!
For her brother, a baseball pitcher tall,
Had taught and trained her to throw Il ball.
And this gay young fellow, who laughed
with glee,
While bravely awaiting her onslaught, he
Walked sadly home, and twas later when
He fitted Il smile to his mouth again.
Harlem Life.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

WANTED.-Case of bad health that RIP pa Ms will
not benefit. Send 8 cents to Ripaus Chemical Co..
New York for 10 samples and 600 testimonials.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

The population of the Soudan is num-
bered at 100000, nearly all wholly I'M
nl1catpd
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

The man who first made steel pens
got 81 apiece for them.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

He had called on her several times, and
finally mustered up courage and assurance
to be somewhat more atfectiOnate than
the circumstances warranted perhaps.
You must not do that" she said some
what nervously.
DO what?' was the innocent query.
Put your arm around my waist"
why notY''
My brother might come in suddenly
and see you"
Wei. what of that? He couldn't kill
me-"
NO, [ suppose not, but he would try
to borrow some money from you, and L
have lost two chances already by his do
ing that. -Tit-Bits.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

Says the Philadelphia Record: ''That al
the funny breaks in social usage are not
committed by our country cousins was
demonstrated at a recent stylish noon
wedding where were present two middle
man in question and the bridegroom
Properly enough the other men present
wore frock coats, but not so this one, who
was respondent in a dress suit. He
looked disdainfully at the other men pres
ent and finally whispered to one of his
female friends: Say, don't think this is
very swell-there's not another dress suit
in the whole crowd His companions
agreed with him, and they soon left with
scOrn plainly depicted III their faces
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

The ining of a Cambridge OIass) man
for splitting in a street car reminds the
Louisville Courier-Journal of d story about
the famous Tom Marshall. The story
goes that just before his first visit to Bos-
ton an ordinance had been passed i'm
posing a fine of So for smoking on the
streets. tom" lighted cigar, started
down street and was arrested. He went
before the proper officer, was duly fined
threw down $40 and started away. Hold
on" said the Judge, "there is some change
coming to you To which Tom is said
to have answered: ooh, keep the change
] shall want to spit presently"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

The average height of clouds is rather
over mile
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

Mamma, if | had a nat before I had
this one it's all right to say that's the hat
l had had, isn't it,"
Certainly, Johnny
''And if that hat once had q hole in it
and l had it mended | could say it had had
q hole in it. couldn't l p
Yes, there would be nothing incorrect
in that
''Then it'd be good English to say that
the hat | bad had had had 4 hole III It,
wouldn't itT'-Trained Brotherhood.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18
Coughing Leads to Consumptio

Coughing Leads to Consumption.
Kemp's Balsam will stop the cough at
once. Go to your druggist today and get
d sample bottle free. Sold in 25 and 90
cent bottles. Go at once; delays are dan
gerous.
An English vicar just sent to Jail for
forgery had just published a book en-
titled, "Resist Not Evil"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

William Norris library, recently sold
at auction in London, brought nearly
sos, 900 for 1916 lots.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

The other night Cleveland small boy
got tired of saying his prayers regularly
and struck. "Oh, but, Willie" his
mother objected, you must say them or
God will punish you" The youngster
thought deeply for a moment. Then he
looked up brightly. Il tell you what,
mamma" he announced in his sweetest
tones. Il guess l can stand a lickin', so
I'll just go one night without saying
'em, an then if there don't anything hap
pen, why, I'll be all right. It's just a
Experiment.. See! = Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

Rosa Bonheur earned her first money
BY copying paintings of the old masters.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

Some of the hero-worshiping women
of Chicago and other towns, who have
been giving disgusting exhibitions by
their attentions to the once widely-es-
teemed Hobson, ought to have heard Col.
Gordon McCabe's story of the Duke of
Wellington.
On one occasion the duke, then getting
far advanced in years and rather feeble,
was waiting to cross street crowded
with heavy vehicles. A stalwart young
man approached with lifted hat. rendered
his services as escort and conducted the
gallant old warrior in safety to the other
side. Then, bowling extremely low, he
said:
your grace. this is the proudest mo-
ment of my life. In years to come |
shall tell my children. and they shall tell
their childrens children, that | had the
honor to serve the hero of Waterloo and
the conqueror of Napoleon"
With Il glance that showed intense dis
gust, the venerable hero-he was the gen
uine article--repHed; ''Young. man, don't
make a fool of yourself" This is what
Hobson might say to the osculatory
DANES and maids that he encounters.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

Two well-knovn temperance men of
kirkaldy, Scotland. We're upset the other
night, when returning from a temperance
meeting. In its account of the mishap
the local paper remarked: Fortunately
beth gentlemen were sober at the time"
This remark made them indignant, and
they wrote a letter to the editor, saying
so. Whereupon the editor kept up his
end by printing this apology in the next
issue of the paper: ''Messrs. - and
demand an apology for our having
stated that at the time of their accident
they were both sober. We have pleasure
in withdrawing our observation"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-18

Rev. DR.. Howley-"My dear sir, am
minister of the Gospel, and. as / intend