New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-07-11
THE TALK OF. THE DAY.

One man. with the assistance OF two "shockers'
IN Decatur Township Ind. last week. cut forty
acres OF wheat in two days. The Work was zone
with three horses and x-foot binder ana TWO
Mounds OF Irvine to the acre required to bind
the wheat. This is believed to beat the record.
The penwork OF Rudyard Is valued, they say,
Al a guinea or two every minute,
7 reckon my verse. either better or worse
BY the number Of meals there are In H.
In the morning comic quatrain is enough.
| can breakfast quite nicely upon 1t;
And | lunch and dine smoke and wine
Ana get pretty wen '"e'' -QLife.
n, ana eide NJ the Kentucky River lives man
named Toe Curd on the other side Of the stream
lives a man named Joe Curd. he being a nephew OF
the Joe Curd living on the opposite side OF the
river Many years ago they married sisters oo'h
now have grandchildren. man out there oHers
ohrouo 70 any one who can unrave the rela-
tonship existing between the srandch'lureh Oh 1oe
Curd sr.. and his nephew, Joe Curd jr, and vice
.r can't see why they persist IN calling General
sin une the brilliant Philippine campagner,
youpg" remarked Mr.. Hoon' looking UP iro'h Ills
VIZ because he Is only twenty;six or twenty
seven wears old, OF course. returned Mrs Hoon.
, bc,,ev n,'I r., have been keeping tab on him
iteIv and have figured that If he went to school
seventeen different places and remained from four
~ rem Years in each place. has been proudly
stated by his former schoomates. and was also IN
io1e with something like forty seven different girls
Nv a,ii sav a month with each-all OF whom had
the honor OF rejecting HIM and had spent as in ih
time exploring Alaska. Mexico Honduras ana otner
nIaces and in fighting in Cuba az the papers claim.
and visited his multitudlnous relatives only one Jay
aniace and devoted the usual and necessary amount
az ,ime 70 being an infant he must now be at
least 279 years old '-fuck'
An English paper tells a story Of clergyman
whose love OF golf once got him into trouble There
,yere some links near his place. and one sunday
ba walked round after school. There ne tound TWO
or three men he knew who were dispuuhg ABOUT
some point and eagerly referred 1t to him without
,binking he picked up a CLUB and showed how IN
,,,s on,nion the stroke should be played. From
hah,rd eome adjacent bushes there came voice;
"r cav Sal YOU look here Here's our passan
apresching to us to keep oily the Sabbath Day
and n playing his bocmn hockey IN the al'er
noon The parson did the best thing he could. lie
,nade q few drives and then left But since then
he has gone home another way
orce unon time Millionaire conceived the Idea
that II would be dsgraceful TO die rich According
" he fell 10 giving his wealth away. But II soon
Hecane apparent that he had more wealth than
woT Whsi ' shall do?' he asked himself. In much
not long iii he hit upon the happy expedient OF re-
veang all his belongings 70 me assessors a,, rxa1
Detroit Journal.
wood Boulevard, Chicago Is being torn down
with the passing OF the old building will go out of
evidence forever an organ which was originally
huut for Plymouth Church. Brooklyn. For years
during Henry Ward Beecher's prime the organ did
ts mart in the famous services at Plymouth
Church At his death the congregation decided
that the old instrument would no longer meet It's
v.ants Accordingly 1t sold to the Memorial
church where II has since been In use
The old colored man was watching the horseless
cartilage spin down the street, and remarked: Il
recLsns DAT mus be one er-uh-one er dem auto
semas" IT'S all automobile; Dat II. anus
VS. a~ettin' dem two towns mixed. but knowed II
u,or s6me-ers In Alabama. - Washington Star
From sunnyslde, new town just founded In Utah.
all women are to be vigorously excluded The
scarcity OF water from which the new town suf-
fers ia not as might be supposed. the cause OF this
regulation II IL due to the fact that the man
ayers OF the town have not yet acquired clear
titles to all the mining ground In the vicinity. and
they fear that II the miners are allowed to bring
their wives In complications might arise through
taking up Of claims by families
Dorothy-Mamma, II should die would go 70
"Why, yes darling; Of course you would"
And IL you should die. would you go to heaven.
too?"
II hope so dear"
II hope so, too: because IL would be very awk-
ward for me to be known as the little girl whose
mother was In heL"-(Life.