New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-09-02
THE TANK OF THE nv.

Pray make f. right
For that IS what ds'rcsses
Ncw-York Aug. e. 1879 O.
THE REPLY.
Advertisers cry
That they will die
Unless the print be strong;
While readers say.
With loud dlsmay.
That too much Ink IS wrong
Tho pressman fair.
Smart. debonnaire.
Pays heed 10 every call;
And claims in spite
OF every slight
The Tribune beats them al
New-York Aug % 1899 r.
Jim s an ingenious fellow He spent half the
summer building cottage on MS neg axe shoIs
the outside Of the ground story with terra hrma'
81 don't I mean mud Cleveland Plain Dealer
According 10 THE Philadelphia Ledger" The
bronze casing of torpedo captured AZ Manila and
now m the League Island Navy Yard is 70 oe used
for souvenir medals by the Washington committee
ia charge o. The Dewey reception. Two hundred
and dfty pounds Of bronze however. must be given
In t- place and the other parts of the torpedo wifi
remain az League Island trophy
II seemed Useless I'm good deal interested
remarked tae man who finds relaxation from bus.-
II, ,,Ia,Il't,{,. oobod ~. t~is, naenatA re-
nr0acaf iy. What Was the use We don't own
ail the earth yet"- washington star
a correspondent Of The Indianapolis News'
says that when the town Of Boerne nsar San
Antonio Tex. vas settled IN ls45 by colony OF
Germans the settlers were told they could live
they wished. provided they We're good, industrious
citizens. They selected from their number "A man
and his wife OF mental well a. physical weight
as their king and queen whose edlcts ana com
inanGs they agreed 10 obey 10 the letter They
were much astonshed several months later 20
learn that this state OF things would do IN this
country and the king and queen were deposel.
The king Is dead. but the ex-queen sen lives She
IS worth 500 00o and owns one-thlrd of the town.
hut takes IN laundry work ard bends over her tub
six days IN tho week Her word Is stu law with
the older people. and some o. the younger ones.
Being Careful -oLconidas." exclaimed Mr.. Meek
toms WIFE on his return from a Journey. 81 am
ar "a loss to understand your conduct when We
'!. !ycs t1errietta '''''S To you
"Why diin't You say soodby' in responser'
"I vas just about 10 DO so. Henrietta, but I
me- of trying 70 have The last word again ''-,Wash-
iugton star
Tho Tory IN The Revolution. the copperhead IN
tle CitH War and he Anu-Imperalist IN the
present ono against the Fnpinos distinguished
hy the similarity Of their attitude toward the Tag
and their common confidence that each conflict
was failure
sunournei- no 7 shall not wear low necked
dress io me hop tonight she said.
"Wen. The fact f.. my bathing suit ought to have
been more aecoete than Il else not decol-
lete at all -t'hicasO Post
The Girls Bachelor Club of winfield. Kan. is
feeling very happy. According 20 the VOW she
took whom She became member, Miss MAY VIII
Jams was married last Sunday TO Private Davl-
son. ~ Company H. goth Kansas Volunteers Every
member must wed 10Th Kansas hero or none Miss
williams the president II the club II was
organized about two months ago and there were
nifty girls Of the little college town OF Winfield who
pledged themselves 10 marry no other men than
members of The famous Funston regiment PR
Nate Dawson recently came from Philadelphia on
Sunday he was ont in park and tainted from the
heat May Williams to his Re scue. That night
they We're married
Refractory Docs the climate agree with you?'
Inquired ths mild but conversational person
No.' answered the weather prophet nercely
Near.y every ume ANNOUNCE what II ought TO do
ing opposition. Washington star.
The sultan Of Morocco has Just come so near
being struck by lightning thar two or his court
uehors We're killed beside him. Some years azo one
~ his predecessors turned American lightning
rod aro1t ont Of the country as an inddel a sor-
ccrer who would turn tho holt ot heaven away
from IT'S appointed mark. The expelled agent
might now go back again with some reasonab bic
expectancy of a better reception.
At First sight" DO you believe IN love at arst
-ignf' She asked.
THAT'S The only way rs possible" answered tho
dig BACHELOR Second sight would utterly destroy
story on The fraudulent comforting of degrees
IS told IN The London Post" which. while il may
not be strictly accurate. is not without interest II
-eom. that chimney sweep took PROCEEDINGS
against Edinburgh man for debit and IN the
course ~ his evidence the sweep mentioned that
HIS name was Jamie Gregory LID" The fol-
lowing coloquy ensued between the witness and the
sheriff. "What Doctor Of Laws or Iettors7 And
whore on earth did you ger that distiuotion?" "tt
was follow fra' an American University. an /
s~cepit his chimney three times 4 Gamma pay va
cash. jamie Gregory hc eays hut TN make We an
LID ana we'll cd It quets' An he ia"
Mamma Why Willie What do YOU say when
l'l' Sklnnint give. you cent?
'''' 10 too spris'd to say enythins"'-G.ifc.
The Parliament Building In Wellington. New
zealand Is the largest wooden structure ln the
"ora In Wellington and some other New-Zealand
towns almost every house IS constructed OF wood
Largo churches ana important business premises
are built Of tho same material
The Champion Splinter "Agulna.do declares DO
SAID me corporal with the newspaper. that I'm A
f." weeks me European Powers win recognize
'Fnfh" responded the Irish volunteer his own
muin'r wouldn't recognize him II kitch him"
Chicago News.