Marietta daily leader. (Marietta, Ohio) 1895-1906, 1899-10-05
Snakes in Ireland.

us the scientific theory of the absenc
OF snakes in Ireland?" says cores
ponden, from Duncan Fails, o.
There was orce a man who mad
quite a sum of money by delivering
lecture on the subject Snakes in Ire
land" AS there are no snakes in Ire
land he had considerable difTicul.y il
explaining why he chose such a sub
iect, but by the time ne was done ex
!, planning the lecture was over, and ht
usually managed 30 make his escape
with the gate money. 1t is the accept
ed tradition that st. Patrick drove the
snakes out Of Ireland, and am moi
disposed to dispute it. though 1t has
been suggested that pigs are great ene-
mics CT snakes and that pigs are very
common over there l never visited
Ireland, and therefore all that l can
venture about either the pigs OF
snakes is hearsay, which would not be
competent testimony in the courts OF
Allegheny county, though it might go
with French court-martial
While on the subject Of snakes, how
ever, / might remark that If some re-
cent writer's on the subject are to be
believed, the misforturts of the Irish
are largely due to the absence of
snakes, ana it might he well for them
% introduce some of the best breeds,
adapted to their climate and temper
ament. According to these authorities
t-e snake is "a most useful and harm
less reptile, that ought to be allowed to
move in the best society instead of be-
ing tabooed and trampled upon and
lied ABOUT on the fourth page. They
tell us that the snake is not only the
hired man that the farmer and gard
ener can have, because he works all
summer, boards himself and never
comes round for his envelope on pay
day, but also because he sets bril-
liant example of patience and piety in
azmuch as he never bites unless he has
to, takes a vacation in the winter when
work is slack, and because when he
does bite the cure is a tankful of
whisky.
| am not disposed to dispute any
thing that anybody may say about
snakes for the reason that have not
had any experience one way or anoth-
er. Except by hearsay l do not know
tnat snakes can bite at all. l have
heard that in India they bite ravenous-
ly and that many people die on that
account every year. That is a partial
confirmation Of the claim that whisky
Is an antidote to the poison, for, as is
we'll known, the people of India are
mostly heather and therefore do not
drink whisky. There is a hint in this
to account for the banishment of the
serpents from Ireland, for there is no
country under the sun where the pop
ular antidote can be more readily sup
piled or where it is held in greater es-
TEEN.
do not remember whether Darwin,
in his elaboration of the doctrine of
the survival of the fittest, has a chap
ter on THE Influences of a -4scourag-
ing Environment" but | am sure that
4. would have been in the line of his
argument and would have gone very
far to convince many who are still
skeptical on the question of their de-
scent from the inhabitants of the cages
in The zoo. If Darwin had conceived
uhis brilliant idea instead of myself
lie would no doubt have disputed the
claim that st. Patrick drove uhe snakes
from Ireland, and would hove shown,
perhaps conclusively, that by reason
of long course of persistent discour-
agement the snakes had left of their
own accord. He would have told us
-hat the snakes, after biting Irlshmen
from the days of the dlplocodus down
to Brian BOru and finding that it
made no impression, on account of the
Dlentitude of The eyer-present antidote
became discouraged, and, to stretch a
wiped the dust off their feet
md quit the country-The wooden
Indian in Plttsburg Times.