The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1899-09-09
TIE IRISH DOCTOR.
Humors That Brighten his Practice
in u Remote Country District.

humoFS Tnat Brighten MS frnctlcc
IN Remote Country District.
Nineteenth Century: There are two
enemies hard to conquer in this coun-
try OF the young. One 10 belief in witch
craft; the other a love for matter out
OF place" In my district the people
readily believe In Leprechauns or little
people. They still visit q wIzened witch
doctor to have dead hands" exercised
from bewitched butter. and they hunt
mythical hares as often as living game.
Quite lately I was asked to visit a
maiden Of half century who was pos
sessed OF a "demmur." Now / know
Lizzie Redmond is.Only suffering from
lOnelineSs-pure and simple. Her tiny
BhRnty, dumped down in narrow boz
reen. Is surrounded by acres OF golden
gorse, miles OF pea land and fields OF sill
ky bog cotton. No nelghbor, however,
enlivenB gray existence for poor Lizzie.
Whatever IL lon-understandable to the
unprofessional mind IN Sallyboggen ID
called "demmur." and treated as a
possession Of the EVIL One. Hence I
found Lizzie lying on the mud floor Of
her cabin In q stripped" condition. on
her naked breast was penny. on the
penny an end Of candle. Over both
penny and candle rested an inverted
tumbler A wise woman was stand
ing, gazing earnestly at her handlworl,
and muttering charm.
''Ahl doctor darlint." screamed Liz
Gle, trlumphantly, as entered the room.
TITS live demmur, and the wise wo-
man has located II, doctor, deRrl See
1t leppin an riBln' into the glass"
took the matter In at glance The
wise woman had first exhausted air by
lighting her candle end and Immediate
ly covering 1t with a tumbler. This,
OF course. acted as q kind Of Cupplng
glass, and flesh rose into the vacuum.
In vain demonstrated on my own
arm (burnlng hole In my shirt sleeve
as did sol. Lizzie saw "the too. too
solid flesh" thereon, following the Inv
Of suction as well US the demmur un-
der the breast bone. But she chung to
the belief In the wise woman, and was
dismissed with ignominyl
In ireland we do not take offense at
this kind OF thing. wrote to LlZzle's
landlord, Lord C., saying the woman
was growing soft" and by return
post received R5 note to pay expenses
OF change for her. a short spell in
Dublin worked wonders. The demmur
no longer set her heart to gallopln.
and "the joultlng OF the train stopped
the beatIn' av her pulse"
My skill was equally sighted by an
other patient. She told me her liver was
troubling her. ut the same time point
ing to spot high up under her left
arm. "God bless US, woman" roared,
your liver does not lie there"
II think 1 ought to know where my
own liver lies" was her dlgnifed reply.
Haven't I suffered from 1t these TWEEN
ty years?"
A third patient was more grand dame
than either OF these twain On being
called In-"my token" being n certain
red tlcket-I asked: And what's the
matter with you, Mrs. Doolan?"
I'm thInkIn that's for you to tell
me" was the naughty response, Just as
II she'were paying me five guinea
fee.
1 have, of course, n due circle Of pa
tients, who firmly believe In every bolus
given by any Aesculapius. To one such
went my friend. the vicar, lately.
How are you to-day, Mrs. Neale?'
was the question, addressed sympathet-
lcally to the greatest grumbler In Sal
"Ahi very bad. IT'S the deegestlon.
| your reverence! Like u hive OF bees
a buzzln' and buzzIn' in my buzz
zum!'
as It always the same?" Inquired the
vicar his eyes twInkling. but with i'm
movable face (for We learn 10 compose
our countenanCes in IrelandJ
NAY! not Mt ALL your reverence. IT'S
often like load Of bricks a ppundin'
| an a poundin', that's when the bees
amt a buzZiu'. But"--and the wrink-
led, smoke begrimed face frightened;
but the doctor-God bless hlm-ls af'
ter glvin' me n description an II 1t
| don't cure me, hen describe me agln."
In SallybogEin for years certain old
woman levied a weekly tribute on char
itably disposed folk. All at once q
''nevvy'' from America turned up, called
! on her patrons and after thanking
| them for their kindness. carried on his
| mothers sister TO end her days in COM
fort. But the widow Hooligan-pro
nounced "HollIhan"-dld not lay her
bones across the water. She soon re-
appeared. II couldn't stop In II, mis-.
thress dear" she explained to n lady.
| "Me slsther's sou is a good bhoy, but be.
tween ourselves, they would ha' washed
me to DEATH"