The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-07-11

things: l. Don't go to law; 2 If you
are forced into it, hire the best lawyer
in town.
When a man writes to his mother or
wife that he will not wiring her dear
heart by telling her Of his suffering,
he Immediately begins to wiring it by
exaggerating what actually happened.
There is no bill collector so fierce
as the wife of the creditor. When any
one owes her husband money and he
needs it, the rabbit existing in the wo-
mans nature is swallowed up by the
wolf
A man who refuses to be a worm
lives in North Atchison. When a young
man visits his daughter, they have to
do their hand-holding on the back
porch. The man who refuses to be a
worm, sits on the front porch himself
At one time, as Atchison gossips will
remember, Miss Daysey Mayme Apple
ton was engaged to the Duke Of Pug
g1ngtOn. What happened is not posi-
lively known. but the Duke Of Plugging
ton was married to another woman
shortly before the date set for his mar
rage with the Atchison girl. Miss Day
sey Mayme therefore took particular
delight yesterday in mailing an invita-
ton to her marriage to the duke. L.
ChaunCey O. Bryanne, whom Miss APP
pletOn viii marry, could buy out the
duke with one days income, and can
when the apostles were on earth; in
deed, it Is said that one of the o.
Bryanne's was an apostle.
It occurs to a man with some wonder
that his wife never got up Gas much en-
thusiasm over him when she was a
bride, as she gets up over the new little
red baby.
When a foolish young girl goes to so
many parties that her mother begins
to DHafr1 -T,a fn fEiF
her, and then she is free to CAD again
as much as she pleases.
Pig Creek, which advertised a Fourth
of July celebration to cost 1880, really
spent $S3 and the citizens are grumb-
ling because several subscribers to the
fund have not paid. AS usual, the man
ayers of the celebration will be COM
PEELED to go down into their pockets for
the balance.
A Yellow Dog, which spent it's Time
in Sleeping During the Day, and Bark
ing a t Night, and which the Police were
Looking For because no License had
Been Paid, scratched its Ear with its
Right Hind Foot, and said: Wen, it is
About Time 1 was Taking my Summer
Vacation.
When a man is invited to a party.
the women are wonderfully sympathet-
ic, if they think he doesn't want to go.
A woman thinks she cannot get out OF
it, if invited to a party, but a man
never has any such trouble: he simply
doesn't go, If he doesn't want to. and
thinks no more about it. 1t is a better
way than giving a lot Of insincere ex-
cuses.
That which is known as the Higher
Life. Is nearly all hypocrisy and silli-
ness.
An AtchisOn woman lately arranged
to give a reception but gave it up,
at her husbands suggestion. 1t is be
lieved that such a thing never happened
before.
The men who go around in their
shirt sleeves show that they need some
thing to hold their shirts down in the
back, the same as women do who wear
shirt waists.
An Atchison girl has refused several
proposals, and here is what she gets
for it: people are constantly expressing
wonder that some young man does not
marry her.
Don't bring boys up with false hopes:
it is just as hard to earn your second
hundred as your first. Many a man
has saved his first hundred without
ever being able to save his second.
When you are swindled, remem Der
that an out of town man usually works
it. A man can not afford to swindle his
own nefghbOrs.