davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-06-08
She Could Bargain.

Mr.. Smithers-Martha, don't know
how we can afford to give this dinner
you re plannin. Things hain't been
comm my way very swift lately. We've
got to save money You better call it
off.
Mrs. Smithers-Josiah, you make me
weary. If you re gittin pinched, that S
only the more reason why we've got to
keep up appearances. Let folks git the
suspicion that we're hard up and every
body that we owe money to will git
after us at once. No; I'm goin to give
this blowout, and it's goin to be great
I'll astonish the natives I've got three
poets, an artist and crack fiddler en-
gagged to-
Mr.. Smithers-Goodness gracious!
But where are we goin to git the cash
for all these things?
Mrs. Smithers-Sh-h I've got a
standoff at the grocery for the eatables
The fiddler is to take suit of your old
clothes for his pay, and, of course, the
artists and poets'll come free. They
even agree not to send their plates back
for second helpin's. If you amt got a
wife who can bargain, I'd like to have
you tell me why. Chicago News
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-06-08
How Sea Lions Capture Gulls.

in capturing gulls the sea lion dis
plays no little skill and cunning When
in pursuit of a gull, it dives deeply un-
der water and swims some distance
from where it disappeared; then, rising
cautiously, it exposes the tip of its nose
along the surface, at the same time
giving it rotary motion. The unwary
bird on the wing, seeing the object
nea, by, alights to catch it, while the
sea lion at the same moment settles be-
meath the waves, and at one bound
with extended jaws seizes its screaming
prey and instantly devours it.-Scien-
tifc American
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-06-08
His Burglar.

A Philadelphia real estate man, when
going through vacant house one even
ing to see that all was well, heard
slight noise behind him Turning
slightly, he saw the form of a man.
AS the broker was not armed, he did
not like the idea of meeting burglar
in combat, and, besides, he is very
timid. SO he rushed to the door and
fumbled with the lock, all the time
yelling at the top of his lungs When
he had got the door opened. he looked
back, and then saw that the "burglar'
was really his own reflection in the
large drawing room mirror. He had no
sooner made this discovery than he was
seized by two policemen, who We're at
tracted by his screams, and it took
nearly half hour for him to explain
that he was not housebreaker himself
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-06-08
Saved by a Laurh.

A professional nurse at Leeds, Eng.
land, was remarkably successful in the
care of patients suffering from small
pox, diphtheria or pneumonia. In fact,
she had never lost a patient with one
of these complaints. Not long ago, how
ever, she had pneumonia case which
was given up by the physician. much
to the nurses chagrin.
"He can't live through the night, +"
said the doctor.
Sure enough, when the nurse went
to give the sick man his medicine, he
only shook his head The distracted
nurse saw her proud record about to be
broken and she urged the patient to
take his dose.
''No USE he murmured.
"Well, sir, said the nurse in de-
spair, you've got to take it! And if
you die III kill you T.
Whereupon the patient began to
laugh, took his medicine and got well.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-06-08
FIR AND JEFF READY FOR A FIGHT.
Big Ones Put In Good Days Work at
Active Training.

Big Ones Put In IA Good Days Work at
Active Training.
New YORK, June 6.-As the compile
ton of his training approaches, Bob
Fitzsimmons, the heavy weight cham
pion pugilst, increases his work instead
OF easing up on it. Yesterday was one
OF the liyeiest days that the lanky boxer
has put i'll since he began his prepara-
ton for his fight with Jim Jeffries for
the worlds championship, which is
scheduled to take place before the
Coney Island Sporting club next Friday
evening. He ate a hearty breakfast,
after which he punched the bag for an
hour, taking brief periods of rest. He
was remarkably supple and those who
watched him work commented favor
ably on his condition. About 3 O'Clock
the champion donned his fighting togs
and boxed II fast rounds with ''Yank"
kenney, Dan Hickey and Jack Ever
hardt.
jim Jeffries, who is training at AS.
bury Park Tor his fight with Fitzsim-
mons on Friday, put in a good days
work and his movements were carefully
watched by number of New York
sporting men who went down to the
training quarters. They got a good
deal OF information about Jeffries con-
dition and cleverness, and returned to
New York very favorably impressed
with the Californian skill and endur.
ancn
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-06-08
Story OF A Slave.

To be bound handand foot for years by the
chains of disease is the worst form of slavery.
George D. Williams, of Manchester, Michigan,
My wife has been so helpless for five years
that she could not turn over in bed alone. After
using two bottles of Electric Bitters she was
wonderfully improved and able to do her own
work" This supreme remedy for female dis
eases quickly cures nervousness, sleeplessness,
melancholy, headache, backache, fainting and
dizzy spells. This miracle working medicine is
a godsend to weak, sickly. run down people
Every bottle guaranteed. Only SOC. Sold by G.
W. Houston, druggist 6
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-06-08
Touch In TeIegrnphy.

Roland Belfort, who has been inter-
ested in some of our articles on wire
less telegraphy, writes:
Having worked most of the Atlantic
and eastern cables, can testify to the
ease with which an operator recognizes
his distant colleagues by their touch
Gotten have heard the exclamation,
There's that COMPOUNDED X come ONT
Immediately X transmitted his first
signal.
.some operators signaling is so
weak and shadowy that the work of
deciphering the signals squite doubled
at is also easy to tell whether an
operator has been in convivial society
previous to taking duty. By the signal
ing cablist can tell whether his cor
respondent is tired, angry, depressed
merry or moody. London Mail.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-06-08
She Was Too Mad to Speak.

The Washington woman came across
some excellent tea in England-tea the
like of which she had never known be-
fore. She knew there was none of it to
be had in America, so she bought
pounds and pounds of it to bring home
with her. She didn't mean to pay duty
on it, for she felt that no really patri-
otto American can consistently pay a
tea tax after what our ancestors did in
Boston harbor, SO she made herself a
petticoat, and into the lining thereof
she quilted the tea. When the steamer
drew into port, she put on the garment.
10 wear it was martyrdom. 1t seemed
to weigh ton. She could scarcely walk
in it, and the hang of her new going
ashore gown was utterly ruined by it,
but the custom house officials let her
pass without suspicion. She went d.
rectly to the railway station and started
for Washington. The journey will live
long in her memory for its discomfort.
Her husband met her at the station. He
marked her pale, worn look. As they
stepped into the carriage she told him
the story.
81 wasn't going to let them get ahead
OF me, she said proudly. "Wasn't it
a lovely idea?'
Her husband fell back in the carriage
and reared
Lovely" he said "Lovely L
should say it was. Why, my dear, there
isn't any duty on tea. y
And let me remark in passing that
the child's sob in the silence isn't by
any means the only thing that curseth
deeper than the strong man in his
wrath. Washington Post
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-06-08
A Card OF Thanks.

| wish to say that l feel under last
ing obligations for what Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy has done for our family.
We have used it in so many cases of
coughs, lung troubles and whooping
cough, and it has always given the
most perfect satisfaction, we feel great
ly indebted to the manufacturers of
this remedy and wish them to please
accept our hearty thanks.-Respectfu
", Mrs. S. Doty, Des Moines, Iowa.
For sale by c. w. Houston, Extra: A.
II. Roberts, Audubon.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-06-08
ACCEPT AMERICAN SCHEME.
Subcommittee Unanimous on the Proposal
For Mediation.

subcommittee Unanimous on the Proposal
For Mediation.
The HAGUE, June 2.-The American
mediation scheme was unanimously
adopted at yesterdays sitting Of the
subcommittee, which embodied as ar.
ticle Z, the scheme prepared by the sub
committee, with few alterations.
The first commission, by vote of Is
to 3, has adopted resolution prohibit
ing the use of dumdum Tor fattened
bullets). Italy, Austria and Great Brit
ain formed the minority.
1t was also resolved to prohibit the
use of explosives from balloons and of
explosive bullets.
An agreement was found to be i'm
possible on all the important proposals
and the conviction is growing more than
ever that the work Of the first commits
sion is doomed to failure.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-06-08
The Printers Joke.

The Arkansas City Traveller says that
when the printer who was working on
farm was told by the farmer wife
to set hen he replied, "Leaded or
solid?'
Which reminds us of Uncle John
Speer's story of the printer in his office
who was setting up story and had
knight say, "Begone, base brevierl"
afterward explaining to the indignant
author that there was no minion in the
Office. Kansas City Journal.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-06-08
In n Dilemma.

eff l go ter school terday, de teach.
er'll lick me fer not preparin my les.
sons, an if stay home me mudderll
lick me fer not goin ter school Now,
either | got ter go or stay home But if
go an de teacher ticks me an mudder
finds it out me mudder'll lick me fer
not dom my school work, an if l stay
home an me mudder licks me de teach
er'n lick me Tomorrow fer bein
truant! Gee! Guess I'll go ter sleep!"
Nashville American.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-06-08
Men VINE Live In Nests.

In the bushmen of Australia we find,
perhaps, the lowest order of men that
are known, They are so primitive that
they do not know enough to build even
the simplest forms of huts for shelter.
The nearest they could approach to it
is to gather lot of twigs and grass,
and, taking them into thicket or jun
gle, they build nest for a home, much
as does bird. The nest is usually built
large enough for the family, and if the
latter be very numerous then the nests
are of a very large size.
Into this place they all turn and
snnggle and curl up together like SO
many kittens. Sometimes the foliage
will grow together and for a sort of
natural covering, but there is never any
attempt at constructing protection
from the rain and storms, and it is
marvel how they endure them.
But, though the bushmen of Australia
are the very lowest in the scale of ig-
norance, they possess rare instinct,
that equals that Of many animals and
is in its way as wonderful as man s rea-
son. 1t is almost impossible for them
to be lost Even if they be led away
from their home, 5lindfolded, for miles,
when released they will unerringly turn
in the right direction and make their
way to their nest home, and, though
these are all very similar, they never
make a mistake.-St. Louis Globe
Democrat
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-06-08

At the pretty village of Holylake,
suburb of Liverpool, there are golf links
which are famous as being the oldest
and among the best in England, the
game being brought there by the Scotch.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-06-08

W AsH1NdloN, June s.-Ino r0l40v1as
cablegran has been received from Otis:
MANILA, June Additional casual
ties: Missing-Ninth infantry, COM
pany B, Captain Charles M. Rockefeller.
Observation-Disclosures Iowa, May 81,
company H, Privates Clifford H. Stew
enson, thigh, moderate; I, Harley
Stretch, chin, slight; Corporal Walter
Combs, forearm, slight.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-06-08
You Try II.

If Shiloh's Cough and Consumption Cure,
which is sold for the small price of :25c, SOC
and 81 90 does not cure take the bottle back
and we will refund your money. Sold Cor
over fifty years on this guarantee. Price 25c
and SOC. e. W. Houston, Extra.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-06-08

There is more Catarrh in this section
of the country than all other diseases
put together, and until the last few
years was thought to be incurable
Fora great many years doctors pro-
nounced it local disease, and pre-
scribed local remedies, and by constant
ly failing to cure with local treatment
pronounced it incurable. Science has
proven catarrh to be constitutional
disease, and therefore requires consti-
tutional treatment. Halls Catarrh
Cure, manufactured by F. j. Cheney
d Co., Toledo, Ohio, is the only con-
stitutional cure on the market. 1t is
taken Internally in doses from ten
drops to teaspoonful. 1t acts direct
ly upon the blood and mucuous sur
faces of the system. They offer one
hundred dollars for any case it fails to
cure. Send for circular and testimo-
malls. Address, j. F. CHENEY &
CO., Toledo, Ohio.
Sold by druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-21
Hts Life Was Saved.

Mr.. ]. E. Lilly. prominent citizen
of Hannibal, Mo-. lately had wonder,
full deliverance from frightful death.
In telling of it be says NJ was taken
with Typhoid Fever, that ran into
Pneumonia. My lungs became hard
ened. I was go weak l couldn't even
sit up in bed. Nothing helped me, l
expected to soon die OF consumpt1ou'
when | heard of DR.. Kings New Dis.
oovery. One bottle gave great relief.
I continued to use it, and now am well
and strong, / cant tsay too much in its
praise" The marvellous medicine is the
surest and quickest cure in the world
for all throat and lung trouble. Regu'
lar size SOC and 81. Trial bottles tree
at Waters Pharmacy. Every bottle
guaranteed.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-21
tY- INSURANCE.-Ify your Fire lnsur
ance is about to expire, call on us for rates.
iuly22tf CASSELL & WATERS.
THE LADIES' HOME JOUR-
NAL FOR 1899.

TIE tx fIaI IADIEs iiSs noME jouRNkI promises unusu
ally interesting and strong me st Is strong aho
magazine: that is, the three White House articles
which ex-Presdent Harrison is to write. No man has
articles: show US what "A Day With the President
at his Desk means in article; in another tell OF
"Thc Social Life of the President and in third ar,
ticle describe ~ pstars Life in the White House."
Each of the articles will be profusely illustrated An
other series equally fascinating is the one called
est enthusiasms which have occurred in America will
be revived those wonderful times when Louis Kos.
suth rode up Broadway; when the young Prince OF
Wales was here; when Jenny Lind sang in Castle
Garden; when Henry Ward Beecher electrified his
congregation by selling slaves in his pulpit; when
Grant went round the world; when Henry Clay bade
in Georgia, of which so few know. All these mem
orabe events and others will be vivdly recalled,
told more graphically than ever before and illustrat
year. third series is unique and valuable
from the fact that it will give scores Of ideas
for their homes 1t will reveal what there is Inside
OF a Hundred American Homes" and carefully re-
produce pictures OF one hundred completely furnish
ed rooms in homes in this country from Maine to
Two new department writers have also been exclns-
lively engaged by the JOUR Mrs. S. T. Rorer,
who will hereafter have charge of thedomestic de-
partmcnt and give series of cooking lessons and
Dwight l.. Moody. the famous evangelist who is to
put the result of his life study Of the Bible IN de-
partmcnt entitled "Mr. Moody's Bible Glass" The
artist, Charles Dana Gibson, who crelted the Gibson
girl, will present six full page pictures showing "The
People Of Dickens, while Alice Barber Stephens
will alternate with Mr.. Gibson and present her idea
OF six Types of American Womanhood," showing
the American woman in society, in religion, in busi-
ness, in summer, i'll the home, and as mother,
Mary +. wilkins, the New England writer, will re-
vve the old quilting partythe ancient singing school
and the apple,P9ring bee in The Pleasures res of Our
study, read and present Shakespeare in Small Com
munitics." Philip Sousa has written waltz, while
Ira d. Sankey has composed hymn which he con,
siders greater than his famous NINETY and Nine '.
Ian Macaren will have story. while Herbert D:
Wards numerous scrcal, The Burglar Who Moved
daughter is to sketch "My Mother as Recall Her
while George w Smalley is to show THE Personal
Side of the Prince OF Wales" in a lavisy-ustrated
article II it has become fad, it seems for every
girl and woman to take this magazine, it is an excel
lent and, unlike many other fads sensible one,
The JOURNAL is published by The Curtis PUBLISH
ing Company, of Philadelphia.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-21
No Right To Ugliness.

The woman who is lovely IN face,
form and temper will always have
friends, but one who would be attrac-
tive must keep her health. If she is
weak, sickly and all run down, she will
be nervous and irritable. If she has
constipation or kidney trouble, her i'm
pure blood will cause pimples, blotches'
skin eruptions and wretched complex
ion. Electric Bitters is the best medi-
cine in the world to regulate stomach,
liver and kidneys and to purify the
blood. 1t gives strong nerves. bright
eyes, smooth, velvety SKIN, rich COM
ple1ion. 1t will make good looking
charming woman Of run down invalid.
Only SOC at Waters Pharmacy.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-21

Isuffered with diarrhoea for long time
and though was past being cured. / had
spent much time and money and suffered so
much misery that had almost decided to
give up all hopes of recovery and await the
result, but noticing the advertisement of
Chamberlain's collie, cholera and diarrhoea
remedy and also some testimonials stating
how some wonderful cures had been wrought
by this remedy, decided to try it, After
taking few doses ! was entirely we'll of that
trouble, and wish to say further to my read
ers and fellow sufferers that am hale and
hearty man today and feel as well as l ever
did in my life.-O. r. Moore. Sold by DR..
J. K. Waters.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-21

nila before the next campaign opens.
That Is, to put a stop to negotiations,
which so hampered the campaign in
Luzon and were productive of nothing
but delay, which was advantageous to
the Philippines. Present plans do not
contemplate any more negotiations,and
the surest way to prevent them was to
order the last of the civilian Commits
sionors away from the Philippines.
Nothing but unconditional surrender is
to be allowed to stop the fighting dur
ing the coming campaign.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-21
TO MAKE LIFE HAPPY.

Sweet music appeals to the heart and soul
and lightens many of lifes burdens. If you
have ever heard the sweettoned STEaER
PIANO you will appreciate this. To reach
the highest standard Of excellence has always
been the aim in the manufacture Of the
Celebrated Steger Piano: only the hest material
is used. insurlng grea: durability. Every
piano fully guaranteed.
The Steger factories, thoroughly equipped
with the best and most improved machinery,
located at Steger, Ill.,, are among the largest
in the West.
Intending purchasers will find it profitable
to write for full descriptive catalogue, which
will be mailed tree upon application.
STEaER & Co. Established 1s79) Chicago,
III. ma25
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-21
THE
NEW YOhK WORLD,
Thrice a Week Edition.
I3 Pages a Week
l56 Papers a Year.
FOR ONE DOLLAR,
Published Every Alternate Day
Except Sunday.

The Thrice Week edition of the New
York World Is first among all weekly" pa
pcrs in size, frequency publication, and the
freshness accuracy and variety of its con-
tents. 1t has all the merit of great Sc daily
n. the pric" of dollar weekly. Its political
news is prompt, complete accurate and I'M
partial as all its readers will testify. 1t is
against the monopoles and for the people
1t prints the news of all the world, having
special correspondence from all important
points on the glooe. 1t has brilliant illus.
trations, stories by great authors capital
humor page, complete markets, departments
for the household and womens work and
other special departments of unusual inter.
est.
We offer this uncqualed newspaper and
The CAToCTIN CLARION together one year
tor $l.G5
The regular subscription price of the two
papers is 50 90.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-21
HOW's This.

We offer Que Hundred Dollars re-
ward for any case Of catarrh that can
be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure.
F. J.. CHENEY & CO.,
Toledo, 0.
We, the undersigned, have known +
]. Cheney for the last Is years and
believe him perfectly honorable IN all
business transactions and financially
able to carry out any obligations made
by their firm.
WEST TRAUx, Wholesale Druggists
Toledo, y.
WALD1NG, K1NNAN & MARv1N'Whole
sale Druggists, Toledo, o.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken inter-
nally, acting directly upon the blood ano
mucous surfaces Of the system. Testl-
monials sent free. Price rs cents pei
bottle. Sold by all druggists.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-21
Bismarck,s Iron Nerve

Was the result of his splendid health.
Indomitable will and tremendous ener
gy are not found where stomach, liver,
kidneys and bowels are out of order. If
you want these qualities and the sue
cess they bring, use DR.. Kings New
Life Pills. They develop every power
of brain and body. Only 25c at Wa
ters' Pharmacy.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-21
THE CAroc7lN CLARION.
CHAS. E. CASSELL.
Editor and Publisher.
Thursday, Sept. 81, 1899
Sewspaper Law Decisions.

1. Any pei son who takes paper regularly from
,hr Observation-Disclosures directed to his name an
others or whe,h has subscribed or not re-
s;onsible for the payment.
If any person orders his paper discontinued nc
o, she must pay all the arrcarages OF the puolSe.
NAV continue to send it until payment is made anu
collect the whole amount whether the paperis taken
from the Office or not.
Nopaper will be discontinued until paid up
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-21
Volcanic EruptiOns

Are grand, but skin eruptions rob life
of Joy. Bucklen's Arnica Salve, cures
them, also old, running and fever sores,
ulcers, boils, felons, corns, warts, burns,
cuts, scalds, cbapped hands, chllblains.
Best pile cure on earth drives out pains
and aches. Only 25cts. box. Cure
guaranteed, sold by Waters Pharmacy.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-21
There are 3,75O,000 personsi in London
who meyer enter a place of worship.

Mothers of children affected with Group or
a severe cold need not hesitate to administer
Chamberlaln's cough remedy. 1t contains
no opiate nor narcotic in any form and may
be given as confidently to the babe as to an
adult The great success that has attended
its use in the treatment of colds and Group
has won for it the approval and praise 1t has
received throughout the United states ana
in many foreign lands. For sale by Dr. D.
K. Waters.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-21

DeWitt's Little Early Risers permanently
cure chronic constipation, biliousness, ner.
yousness and worn out feeling; cleanse and
regulate the entire system, Small, pleasant.
never grippe or sicken-"famous little pills.
DIX Waters
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-21
Golden Hours
For 1899.

This is thetbrightest AMI best boys and
girls paper Tublished in this country. In
typographical appear ance and artistic beauty
of its Illustrations it ranks second to none.
Those who write for it, and some of them
exclusively, are John De Morgan, llarlie
Irving Hancock. Cornelius Shea, Matt Royal,
Weldon Cobb, w Ber; Foster, Kirk Falconcr,
T. G. Harbaugh, "Scriptus," SC, &c.
tus Talks" Golden Hours Club" STAMP
Talks" "Puzzels," MANLY Sports" &c.
Golden Hours is for sale everywhere,
MUNRO'S PUB'G HOUSE,
"a h 26 VANDEwATER-sT.,
NewYork.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-21

Chester II Brown, Kalamazoo, Mich. says:
"Kodol Dyspepsia Cure cured me ofa severe
case of indigestion; can strongly recommend
it to all dyspepticsl" Digests what you cat
without aid from the stomach, and cures
dyspepsia DR. ] K Waters.