davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-06-30

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II took from my pocket bit or pa
per upon which | had scrubbed some
notes and jotted down some statistics
from which | proposed maxim few
remarks suitable to the occasion Judge
of my surprise, of my amazement. of
my horror, to find in the first glance at
my data, that in the excitement and
patriotic fervor of the occasion we had
actually allowed the Fourth of July to
slip by and that it was then about the
10th. No wonder the eagle fell No
wonder | shivered. The discovery para
lyzed me was cold was numb |
was petrified
''As soon as | could pull myself to-
gether | realized that il would never do
to be so much hehindhand with Fourth
of July celebration. We would lee the
laughin stock of the civilized and bar.
bHruus worlds OF course | stayed my
hand from touchin the match So to say
! patted the stock of my shotgun and
thanked my glitterin stars that had
made its discovery before pulled the
trigger My next duty, n painful one
though il was, was to notify my friends
! leaped on my horse and galloped
among them like a rough rider gCin to
war, and explained to them the terrible
dilemma in which | found myself.
shouted at the top Of my voice that we
had allowed the Fourth of July TO slip
10y that it was now the 10th, and may
be the 18th; that it would not do to in
tiict chestnut, a burnin chestnut, a
roasted chestnut, on a critical world
shouted my regrets through a mega
phone until the hills and valleys were
repicate with the same. Even the
vaulty heavens gave back my vocifer.
ations It's the 10th, it's the 10th, or
maybe the l2thl l regret, regret
1T breaks my heart to say it, but
my friends and admirers did not grasp
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-06-30
THE SUNRISE GUNS FROM
LUZOH 70 PORTO RICO.
BY SAMUEL HUBBARD.


IA pen and pencil diagram Of our first all
round the-word Fourth
Thirteen guns at sunrisel" That is
the historic sound that ushers in the
Fourth of July, and in this year Of
grace 1899 the roar Of sunrise guns will
be heard, with some little stretches of
the imagination, continuously half way
around the world. From Manila to
Porto Rico our possessions cover 1870
degrees of longitude Manila being 1870
degrees east and Porto Rico go degrees
west longitude, reckoning from Green
wich, the difference of time being ~
hours. When II is "high noon" at Ma.
Mia, it is the previous midnight at
Porto Rico.
When the "13 guns at sunrise are
laundering from Dewey's ships and
Otis batteries their welcome to indie
pendence day at Manila, the sun of July
3 has just set in Porto Rico, and the
patriots of that fair island, who lately
came voluntarily and with enthusiasm
under the protecting folds of Old Glory.
are looking forward TO the celebration
of their first Fourth on the morrow
When 2 hours after it has been at
Manila, our new possessions in the
orient, the sun rises ont of the Atlantic
and greets the Porto Ricans in our new
possession in the Antilles. 1t is well
coined by the morning guns resounding
from the former Spanish fortresses, and
the celebration of American independ-
ence is begun by people who were lately
emancipated from monarchical thral-
dom Half an hour later the morning
cannonading is taken up at Eastport,
Me, the eastern point Of the original
thirteen states of the Union. The sound
reverberates down through New Eng
land, and in half an hour New York
catches the first glimpse of the morning
sun, and her 10 guns belch forth well
come to the nation natal day AS the
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-06-30
IRANDPA LICKSHINGLE'S
MOST GLORIOUS FOURTH
BY ROBERT W. cRlswELI,

Copyright, 1892 by American Press Asso.
ciauonl
did lever tell you about that Fourth
of July celebration includin fireworks,
which planned for the boys ont in the
oil country Just after the civil war;
asked Grandfather Lickshingle
1t seemed to be the consensus of the
crowd that this was one story grand
father had not done us the honor to
relate. At the same time it was gently
urged upon him that it would be a
hardship to ransack his memory for the
facts that we did not feel like asking
him to entail upon himself
II notice that you emphasize the
word facts, said grandfather land
II is very proper that you should for
deal only in facts. As for the hardship
you mention il ransackin my memory s
cells for them, pray you TO give your
self no uueasiness | am simply eatu-
rated with facts 1t is fact that facts
ooze out of NY pores until You might
take me for Il factotum, as il were. In
addition to tHs regard il a solemn
'''J WV D "a 0AllAA W hdll dAt
this great Historical truth for the reason
that it chapt,: in tie history of
American independence that every pa
triot and every citizen, includin the
Filipinos, should know.
1t was evident that grandfather was
not to be discouraged from his inten-
ton to relate his Fourth of July story.
at was this way " he began THE
war had just closed, and this seemed to
me to be of itself a sufficient reason
why that particular Fourth of July
should be worthy of the occasion and
the whole country. had been attend
in Fourth of July celebrations all my
life, but they always struck me as
perule and cheap-a few artificial fire.
works, worse than artificial oratory,
great deal OF noise and smoke. and that
was all
THE oil country, the greater part
of which owned, offered such magnif-
cent facilities for pyrotechnics and
that sort Of thing that made up my
mind to give the people celebration
the like Of which they had never
dreamed and somethin their children
and their children's children would re-
member while memory holds a seat in
this distracted globe, as Shakespeare
saws.
We interrupted grandfather at this
point TO ask if he still owned the larger
part of the oil country
"N.no; not exactly You see. the
Standard Oil trust has managed 10
squeeze in and secure quite a snug lit
tie interest in oil don know exactly
how much oil property of one kind and
another have permitted Mr. Rockefel-
Ter and his friends TO possess, but il is
considerable at least But at the time
Of which speak had not made up my
mind to divide with any one was the
Brierius armed monopoly, the hydra
headed trust the octopus-the whole
shootin match
This bein the situation, | began to
spread myself for the celebration. Nero
had burned towns TO illuminate his fes-
rivals, hut it was on broader scale
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-06-30

49," '--.s~s-s-~-sr
tried 10 shout fresh explanations
through the megaphone, but the mob
howled me down and swore that they
would shove she fog horn down my ven.
cradle throat, big end first. The situa-
tion was somethin appalling 1t was
enough to turn a sorrel horse gray in
single night To have my motives i'm.
pugned after n lifetime Of sobriety and
probity was enough &c rive my heart
The pain was intensified a thousandfold
when my misguided and Infatuated
friends and admirers howled ont the
declaration that | did not fire the wells
because ! was savin the oil, runnin il
in tanks and dippin il in barrels with
view to sellin IL for 50 a barrel Givin
10 my actions mercenary, money
grahbin bias cut me like razor slash
! could not deny that had my Persian
army Of employees savin the oil, and il
was also true that the market price of
oil AT that time was So, or maybe a lit
tie risin of So
The frenzy of my friends and ad.
mirers increased, and they bore down
upon me They were thousands to one
It's "A wonder they didn I tear me limb
from limb, you sayY That where You
don t know the grit Of your GRANDPA
ther How did | keep them at bayI
Easy ms rollin off log fell back in
good order among my flown and
spoutin wells, my big oil, alcohol and
turpentine geysers and my roarin gasers
| shook my locks in defiance at the mob
Leanin far over my horses head, !
megaphoned To the effect that they had
abused my hospitality; that they had
put themselves outside the pale of my
mercy that if they would favor me by
comm near enough | would apply tine
flash test 10 my property and give them
n fire scene such as would make old
Pluto himself Jump for the fire bucket;
that ! would, in short, take great pleas
ure in BLOWN the whole cloven footed
and horned herd of them 10 kingdom
come And waved on high my trusty
shotgun charged with pitch and fire.
calls
Would have fred all these wells2
As heaven is my judge, | would |
would have funeral pyred myself and
incinerated every mother s son of these
friends and admirers until the ashes Of
the whole pack of EN- wouldn't have
filed a snutfboX.
Don think il was a pity TO dis
appoint all these people-these fire wor.
shippers, as one might say Whose fault
was it that they We're disappointed
Great General Jacskon, hope you
don / think il was minel and grand
father was purple with rage He fumed
and kicked and stabbed the floor with
his hickory cane and cried ont
IL didn't make the days to gallop by
like that I'm no calendar maker I'm
no Pope Gregory or Julius Caesar or
Copernicus OF any other almanac man.
What became Of the craven crowd2
am glad you asked that pulled out
my watch and held up three fingers
started after EN- hot foot charged
EN- as at another San Juan bin
chased EN- like lot of rabbits, and at
the end of an hour there WASH I one of
EN- to be found in ten states Wow
WOW
1t looked like apoplexy The doctor
said it wasn't serious and would soon
pass off "Grandfather, said the doc
tor 'has simply been overcome by too
much veraciIy
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-06-30

my hopes and ambitions realized
Well, listen This is no story with
'and-then-I woke--upl' at the e"3
of IT, First one Of my wells came in
spoUtin ?, GOO barrels Of oil day and
fairly shreikin 'Hurrah for the Fourth
Of July Then another came in spoutin
3, GOO barrels Then another spoutin
4, 600 barrels Then another spoutin-
well, | saw that things were comm my
way sent ont my invitations to
friends in New York, Boston, Philadel-
phia, Pittshurg, Harrisburg Buffalo.
Rochester, Syracuse. Elmira, Scranton
and dozens Of other cities and towns,
includin. Of course, Kokomo and Kala-
mazou As fast as steam and rail could
fetch my guests they were on hand
The whole country was simply black
with people hockin to the Lickshingle
celebration The Paris exposition of
1902 1t won't I've in il My guests
kept pourin in
I'm the meantime my oil wells and
gas wells and turpentine wells kept
comm in by twos by threes by dozens.
by troops And every one Of EN- was
spouter, a shorter, a Vesuvius | never
saw SO much oil Oil was everywhere
1t was spuuting sky high. II was film
the valleys II was greasin the uni
verse More sightseers kept comm
Hotels, boardin houses, farmhouses,
opera houses, meetin houses, school.
houses, We're full and overhowih And
my oil wells kept comm in Every 10
I 81 al
nous era the world had never seen.
THE next day was the Fourth of
July. The last of my wells reached the
pay streak and came in with roar like
Niagara. and yet with a harmonious
sound, and, listenin closely, you could
detect in the noise Of the escapin oil
and gas the strains of Yankee Doc
die
1t was suggested to grandfather that
il must have been magnificent specta-
Gle to see these scores and hundreds of
wells srouting their product to heaven
''Why that was no spectacle at all
That WASH what | had prepared for
my tens of thousands of admirin
friends. IL was this whole aggregation
and concatenation touched off with
fiery bomo-this world of oil on fire
that had invited them there to behold
and marvel at,
"The next day, as said, was TO be
the Fourth Of July. Like the man with
the cattle on the Thousand hills, as
sembled my friends on the mountain
tops TO witness the grandest, sublimest,
most awe inspirin illumination and
fireworks that ever was or ever will be
beheld until the mornin stars sing to.
gether
my thousands upon thousands of
friends were crowded together on the
hills tiptoe with expectation had my
trusty shot gun charged, from which
was TO shoot blazin balls into one of the
spoutin wells and thus ignite the whole
ball of wax, so TO speak Ii was a con.
ception worthy Of the greatest brain
that ever throbbed Xerxes, Alexander
Cesar-none of the old boys--was ever
stirred with such a gigantic thought
And II was all my own. The fever of
expectancy rose in my friends on the
hilltops until could hear their pulses
beat like trip hammers, The air was 80
heavy with hush that an eagle got stall
ed in it and fell strugglin at my feet
An eagle-the bird of freedom The
bird of the Fourth of July Was it an
omenY ! shivered
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-06-30
THE LIBERTY BIRD.

Far June with its blossoms.
Rare June with Its tunes.
Has faded and gone with
A million dead Junes.
Its songs are "A mem ry,
Its fragrance dream.
The song we now hear Is
The eagles shrill scream.
The robin Of April
Charmed us for day,
The bluebird of Maytime
Entranced with its lay,
And the lark all through June
With pleasure was heard.
We leave them TO list to
The Liberty bird
All, grand are the measures
That freedoms bird singsl
What scenes its wild music
To memory bringsl
The echoes Of triumph
From many field,
lHt clhSnlnB OF SuDerS
That patriots WELD,
The shrieking OF bullets,
The lannon's dread roar
And an anthem Of peace
When the battle is o'erl
North, east, south and west
And over the sea
In ringing the music
A song Of the free
All, shrek on, proud eaglel
Your music is best;
Your song finds AN echo
In every true breast,
And at home or abroad,
Where your music is heard
The oppressed rise and bless
The Liberty bird.
ARTHUR j BURDIoE
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-06-30

ROUGH RIDER"
than this that my mind was workin
Who was Nero, anyhow, that he should
figure on the same page of history as
your grandfather A fig for Nero and
all his petty, cheap John enterprises
throw my contempt full in his face "
Grandfather grew quite red and heat
ed with his sudden burst Of Indignation
over the small dcings of man whom
he evidently regarded rs n mere pre-
tender Recovering his breath and his
mental and physical equilibrium, he
went on
~ had given the matter of this cele.
bration deep thought and had laid my
plans months and months in advance
You may be surprised AT the magnitude
of my scheme, but it is fact that be.
gan drillin oil wells and gas wells and
alcohol wells and turpentine wells with
a view TO using them for my illumi-
natin scene Talk about Nero burning
one horse Roman towns to illuminate
his drunken picnics Why, | propose to
drill into the bowels of the earth and
touch off enough of natures stores of
combustibles to light the world and SINCE
the whiskers of the man in the moon
81 started 200 or 800 wells drillin
md timed em so as to tap natures res
Prvoir about the Fourth of July In
them days everything touched turned
TO oil, and ! knew that this nest of
wells would open mp big oil pool and
would have oil to burn indeed Each
Of these wells was costin me about
$40, 900 to drill, as | always paid my
wprkmen fancy prices, but didn't care
a hooter for the expense. If each bloom
in well had cost $50, 600, would have
drilled EN- all the same and been glad
of it | was after the material for
Fourth of July celebration that would
knock out all the fireworks that had
ever been manufactured OF dreamed Of
did my plans materializeS Were
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-06-30

UNCLE SAM: CHANGED If THIS AMT THE
DERNDEsT LONGEST FOURTH ON RECORD"
day advances in New York and the fes-
tivities progress the booming of the sun
rise guns continues TO be heard across
the continent from the Atlantic seaboard
to the Pacific slope. Chicago fires her g
guns an hour after their roar has died
away in the eastern metropolis, and in
another hour Denver takes up the re-
frain, and the echo of the morning guns
resounds through the Rockies An hour
later San Francisco notes the advent of
the day with "l3 guns at sunrise.
As the revolution of the earth turns
mp the broad eXpanses of the Pacific to
the rays of the sun the Fourth of July
il ushered in with the booming Of the
- guns at Honolulu, and the celebra-
tion Of Independence day begins in our
new mid-Pacitic possession, two hours
later than at San Francisco 1t is now
noon ut Porto Rico, the point farthest
east on this continent, and the patriotic
Porto Ricans are in the midst of their
first Fourth of July celebration
Thus as the hours pass the almost
continuous Fourth of July celebration
goes ON half way around the world.
with cannon booming, banners waving.
bands playing, military and civic pa
rades, feats of strength and proves.
games and sports iunumerable and pa
triotic orations galore, and ends in "A
blaze of pyrotechnic glory When the
fireworks are lighting up the Atlantic
coast towns and our island Cf the West
Indies the sun Of new day has risen
in the Philippines So passes into his
tory the Fourth of July. 1899, and its
celebration around the world.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-06-30

the situation They misconstrued and
misludged me Instead of sympathizin
with me, they were indignant, they
were exasperated, they were mad Not
a few of them were mad clear through
and back again Most of them appeared
to be suddenly transformed into demons
They were torn with passion They
howled and swore They execrated your
grandfather up hill and down dale IN
til the air was dark, heavy blue They
cried 'Fake Fraud and invented
other wild and condemnatory terms
The Saint Paul globe., 1899-03-12

church. She also sang in a synagogue at
the same time and was very successful.
She attempted stage appearance In
concert but became nervous and did not
make second attempt.
Her mother died while she was under my
tuition, and soon after that the young lady
finished her course, and have seen her but
rarely since. Her father, she told me, was
an inventor, who had apparently made
failure of life, and she said that she had al
ways lived In Providence, r. l., except while
she was studying under Osgood in Boston.
Her appearance has greatly changed since
she was a pupil Of mine, for the few times
| have seen her she has been handsomely
dressed and apparently was surrounded with
every comfort which was lacking while her
parents were alive.
Fred Chesebro, manager of the Dun
Mercantile agency, was seen and would
not acknowledge that he ever knew
Blanche. This was a few days ago. He
was asked by The G lobe If he had
ever heard Of her and he replied, "Oh,
yes, incidentally" He wasn't inclined
to talk much on the subject.
TALK WITH A SISTER.
Mrs. John Knapp was interviewed by
one of the Minneapolis papers. on Jan.
9, and made the following explanation:
We have heard but little concerning
Blanche for years. My brother has resided
here for many years past and the last time
The Saint Paul globe., 1899-03-12

a great deal of thrift TO be observed
among the merchants. The city does q
large business. the most of which Is
managed by French, Italians and
Strasburg Jews.
Goods are sent out from here to the
different parts Of the interior There
is mule route to Bolivia. the nearest
town being San Jose de Chuquito,
which Is 2S0 miles away. The journey
takes fourteen days. and 1t is very ex-
pensive.~ Mules are costly, and you
cannot get good one for less than $100
In gold. You must lay in good supply
OF canned goods. for those who try to
live off the country fare poorly There
are few horses. They are subject to
a peculiar disease. which affects their
hind quarters. and their place has been
largely taken by cows and bulls. bul-
locks are used for carts and also for
riding. good riding bullock bringing
a good price. The bullock Is not bad
saddle animal Its gait is a shambling
tret or pace, and. after you become
used to it. 1t is not unpleasant. The
arlnals are directed by reins which
are tied to their horns. They are often
The Saint Paul globe., 1899-03-12
sexes age early. and after thirty the

f 80
women look old.
Among most Of the tribes polygamy
10 common, but / am told that the
women get along peaceably and that a
new and young wife Is welcomed into
the family. This may be from the fact
that the women do all the work, and
the more women the less work. It Is
the woman who plants the crop. cooks
the meals, makes the fishing nets and
weaves the blankets.
The men only hunt fish and fight
They are skilled in the use of the bow
and are. 1t Is said. very brave in bat
tie. They do not scalp. but cut off the
heads Of their dead and cure them in
such a way that they can use the skulls
for drinking cups. AS a rule they kill
the grown-ups Of the tribes they con-
quer, but save the children for braves
and wives az If
The marriage customs of the Chaco
Indians are strange. Giovanni Pellas-
chi. an, italian. who has Travelled among
them. says that when one Of the TOBIAS
wants to marry he paints his cheek
bones. lips and the hollows Of his eyes
red. He then struts about the tent Of
his sweetheart. and later on brings all
the sheep, chickens, skins and other
property which he possesses to the
young lady and offers them to her as
present. If she accepts them the
marriage Is on. and he can come in and
live with her family, shortly afterward
removing to a hut of his own If she
refuses he goes elsewhere. / am told
that such marriages are happy, that
the women are faithful. and that they
make good mothers
These Indians are not very intelli-
gent. They cannot count more than
four. They have no money and their
trading is altogether by barter. A com
munity of interests seems to prevail
and If one Of the women gets a piece
of finery from a4foreigner she has to
The Saint Paul globe., 1899-03-12

divide it with her sisters. her cousins
and her aunts. -
The wigwams Of the Chaco are diff
ferent from those Of our savages. A
village often has it's huts built to-
gether, SO that one thatch can cover a
number Of dwellings. One of these
common houses looks much like a great
hay wagon, several families living in
the different apartments undertt.
One part of each hut is used for cook
ing and another for sleeping The peo-
pie sleep upon skins when they have
them, otherwise on the bare ground.
The huts are So well made that they
do not leak. They are built by the
women, and when completed one OF
the braves crawls upon the roof and
stamps about to see II he can make
the thatch break through. If he can
not, the hut Is all right; but If the roof
gives In he tells his wife to get up and
90 to work again.
The Indian women are said to be
good cooks. They use pots and spits
for cooking, and, I am told. they al
ways wash their pots after using them
They use shells or gOurds for spoons,
forks are unknown, and the man Is
happy who has his own knife.
QUEER CREMATION CUSTOMS.
Some of these Indians have odd ways
of taking care of their dead. If a man
Is rich at the time of his death. his
corpse is put into a clay jar. This Is
buried in the hut and a fire Is kept
burning over it to consume the gases
as the body decays. Whether the
cooking is done on the same fire do
not know.
The Indians like to keep their dead
with them, and in the case Of the poor
the corpse is buried in the hut and the
family live outside until the body has
so far decomposed that it does not
cause a bad smell.
Frank G. Carpenter.