The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1899-02-11
An Important Debate.
These here two fellers. old Waldo and

SAID Mr.. Milo Bush one day while III
Shanks grocery store. Argue about
anything. Took contrary sides on every
question. Why, if old Waldo said that
Injuns was pizen farley McCracken would
up and dispute il; just as if the whole
world don't know hat injuns are pizen,
aud ought to be- cxterminated off the face
Of the yearth.
'One day farley McCacken was speak
ing of whiskey, and happened to meution,
keerlcsS like. it, food value, and what did
old Waldo do bu, up and dispute it. Said
whiskey as beverage TO supply The nrces-
sary liquid for the proper discrimination oi
the solid food was all q X, but he denied
its value a> food per se-them was his
furren words, just like that--per sc. 1t
WAS the general view that if he conldn
make out III. ease without dragging in
French that he d better keep still.
Another time they got arguing about
great men. Old Waldo said that Napoleon
was a greater man than Daniel Webster
farley Mct'rtcken. of course. said ii was
no such stuff Shanks was just closing up,
50 we all went up to the school house aud
organized a regular meeting, and let em
debate precisely : if they d been in Con
gr,ss. with Doe Ballister for the referee.
just like the Senate
s.Old Waldo led off on the Napoleon
side First, SAYS he, let us make a inquiry
into what conStitoots trOo greatness. 1t
words. or Is it acts? Is 1T talk, OF j. it
ret up and get The idec of the present
speaker Is that it acts. Here he find the
difference between the two men-Napoleon
done things. bat the alleged fame Of Daniel
Webster rests wholly on words. Consider
the familiar motto Of Napoleon. Here
Mr. Bush consulted well worn note
book H7lssy soY' ysi HaR 'rhy PsnSe
which for the benefit oi those present who
do not understand Greek, il any there toe,
I may translate. II YOU are going to do a
thing. do it, OF course Daniel Webster
piotioaary was a great book. Present
speaker had heard it said that 1t weighs
ten pounds But Napoleon fired cannon
balls which weighed hundred pounds.
\ copy uf WebSters Dictionary would
scarcely have made wadding for one Of
Naraleun cannous. Napoleon was a great
man. take him as you will See how he
spiked the enemy FIRE engines before he
applied ;he torch tu Moscow Even IN
defea, Napoleon Bonaparte was great.
Beaten back by overwhelming numbers at
Waterloo. did he throw up the sponge
Hardly When hi. charger was shot from
under him. leaving him in the air hanging
a. the limb of 8 tree With one hand, he
gri,yl. My kingdom for a hoss-lay on
McDuff Napoleon BousParte faced the
enemy 60 the last. When they came they
had to saw Oft the Hmb to get him down.
Ike hornet nest. That what NaPo
Icon was-a hornet nest pu two ieays.
Then cid Waldo sat down, aud lariey Me
Craekcn sot up.
First. he said he rcckoaed that If Ma
roleou bad been what he + cracked mp 70
be-. that be- 4 hayc had an extra hess along
Tor hi. dc ksmp to lead under him.
However. IL Wa ao, necessary to behitlc
Nalslcon ia order to enlarge Daniel Web
.tcr ~ the great Henry Clay had said
ol Webster. There he >tani~--lOok at
him The present speaker denied that
Daniel Webster did nothing bat compile
the great dictionary which bears his name
IL, was a statesman as we'll a leNimug
rapher. Who stood GA the top of Bunker
Han Monument and uttered these words,
.Grntlemen. give me liberty oT give me
death 2 And If they shot the mouu-
men, from under him he d have hung 20
a star--a star. say. and still put up stiff
fight fur blessed liberty The dictionary
was 3 side i.suc, complied on rainy days
when he couldn work When he Thought
of uew word he wrote it down on his cuff
or somewhere. aud when he got home
~lekcd it into his dictionary. 80 1t grew.
Dii Napoleon do any such thing No J.
Napoleon simply set about straddle ot a
hess about tour sizes tpo BIZ for him, and
had his picture took He WAS better at
facing the mukzle pt the camera than he
was tbe munsle OF the cannon. II Daniel
Webster LEGS had been no more than
eighteen inches long, he have known
enough 10 have kept of bis drangh, heSSes,
Right here old Waldo eonldn stand
it no longer to hear Napoleon abused He
hoped up, grabbed the bis school globe,
and banged Jarley Mctrackeu With il.
Iii. head crashed through ;he Pacific
Ocean. and his nose busted out in the
northern part of England ltmade Jarley
MeCracken pretty mad, aud he hunted old
Waldo, his head still in the bowels Of the
vearth. The coast of Norway caught old
Waldo ON the chin, and they both went
down iu heap. The yearth all burs,ed
tu flinders. aud chunks Of the arctic regions
and North America went flying through
the air. Doc Ballis,er jumped in aud
parted them and We went home; 81 the
question abou, which was the hettler mau,
Napoleon or Webster, was never settled.