Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1899-10-13
A MuTiLATEO POET
Cut Up Almost as Badly as His Al
legged Bit OF Genuine Verse.

When a Western editor was sitting
IN his office one day, man whose
brow was clothed with thunder en-
tered. tfercely Selling a chair, he
slammed his hat on the table, hurled
his umbrella on the floor, and sat
down
Are you the editorT" he asked.
yes
Can you read writingf"
"Of course"
Read that. then" he said, thrusting
at the Colonel an envelope, with an in
scription upon it.
b" said the Colonel, trying TO
spell IT,
That's not a b. It's an S." said the
man.
-; oh yes: l see. Well, IL looks like
Salt for dinner or Souls Of sinners :"
said the colonel
No. sir" replied the man; nothing
of the kind, That's my name-Samuel
III. Brunner. L knew you couldn't read.
L called to see about that poem of mine
you printed the other day, on the Sur
cease of Sorrow
Il don't remember it," said the
Colonel
"Of course you don't, because It went
INTO the paper under the Infamous
title OF 'Smearcase Tomorrow
~ blunder Of the compositors,
suppose"
Yes, sir, and that's what / want to
see YOU about. The way in which that
poem was mutilated was simply scan
daious. | haven't slept night since. 1t
exposed me To derision. People think
that ! am an ass. Let me show Won.
The first line when / wrote II read i'm
this way:
Lying by weeping willow, under
meath gentle slope.
Ihat Is beautiful, poetic, affecting
Now, how did your vile sheet present
1t to the public?
Lying TO weeping widow to Induce
her to elope.
Weeping widow. mind you! A widowl
Oh. thunder aud lightning: This is too
much,
"But look a-here Mt the fourth verse.
That's worse yet:
Cast thy pearls before the swine and
lose them In the dirt
He sets II mp i'm this fashion:
Cart thy pills before the sunrise md
love them IL they hurt.
Now, isn't that a cold -blooded outrage
on mans feelings? I'll leave Ii to
you IL il isn't"
ITS hard, that's n fact" said the
Colonel
And then take the fifth verse. In the
original manuscript il said, plain as
daylight:
Take away the ingling money; il is
only glittcring dross.
In its printed form you made me say:
rake away the tingling honey; put
some flies I'm for the boss.
By George. felt like Draining YOU
win fire shovel! | was never so cut
up In my life. There, for instance, was
the sixth verse. wrote:
am weary of the tossing OF the ocean
as ii heaves.
IL is Il lovely line. too. But imagine NV
horror and the anguish OF nv family
when ! opened your paper and saw the
line transformed into:
am wearing on: my trousers till
they're open Mt the knees.
mat Is little too much. That seems
10 me like carrying the thing an inch or
two too far. think have n consti-
tutional right to murder that composjt-
or: don't your"
Il think you have"
Let me read YOU one more verse. I
wrote.
| swell the dying echoes as they roam
among the hills.
Anu ieei my soul awakening to the
ecstasy that thrills.
Now. what do you s'pose your misera.
Die outcast turned that into? Why, in.
to this:
| smell the frying shoes as they coast
along the bulls,
AND l peel my soul mistaken I'm tho
'rctary that whirls.
must STAY that man. Where is hep"
lie Is out just now" said tho
Colonel Come in tomorrow.
II WILL" said the poet: "and will
come armed.