The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1899-08-22

Man with n jag illustrates tho Best Way
to Eat from the Cob.


to Eat from tho Cob.
Those who have made themselves familiar
with the phenomena OF inebriety. either By
close study OF the theory or by judicious expe-
rirnants In the line Of practice. have learned to
recognize q certain well-de1ned stage In tho
obsession OF the alcoholic paralysis 10 which
popular appreciation has applied the term
Having a skate on" The person who has
reached that degree OF alcoholic paralysis 10
not able to stand still. but can yet keep reason
ably erect when in rapid motion. the forces
uniting to produce gait much the same as
that of one who skates.
Asidewalk merchant was filing the midnight
afr with his plaintive ery. IAN hot. al hotI"
The sound attracted a citizen bound for home
or some other place. in whom dignity and fne-
briefly were engaged In q contest for points
With the gliding motion peculiar 20 hts condi-
ton he skated up to the restaurant OF the curb.
Strange thing about a man." he communsd
aloud with himself as he zigZagRed onward
IT he drinks on an empty stomach he gets
woozy. and II he eats on an empty stomach he
gets dyspepsia But o man with the dyspsp-
sia's awful uncomfortable and he's 80 highly
moral that hos next door to an angel: and .
man that's woozy u awful Jolly and q dis9Toce
TO humanity. Must eat something and Lat EN-
fight 1t ont. BoyT What you got In that potfs
With the question he held himself together
in front OF the stand. Com. al hoes piped
the merchant But tho effort proved too much
for the customer. he had slid avuy and was re-
covering his balance four or ave yards away to
the right. Setting himself again in motion
toward the stand. he stopped long enough to
ask. lis that corn all hot. sweet2" Then the
impulse fell upon him. and he swung out as
far to the left and whflc he was struggling
with the problamS Of equilibrium. he was ask
IL, h.
Didn't you read TN the Papers that thero
wasn't any moro sweet corn any more. because
the Sugar Trust had shut down on ovsrpSo-
duction2"
Thus swinging back and forth Ike q morally
irresponsible pendulum he developed item By
item the several points that the Vender had foe
sale real Moo fresh sweet corn. all hot. " and
that II cost q nickel and he would have soma
But It was difficult task to eat thnt corn ~
corn should be Oaten- Every time the hungry
Citizen managed TO secure tho ends of the cob
in his two hands. away he would 20 10 thS
right or to the loft and at the end Of Ei6 course
wildly wave the nice fresh sweet com In
his efforts 70 balance himself At the sam0
time he knew tuSt what the trouble was
and where the responsibility should DO paAcod.
Boy" he said. that's dreadful spocta0lst
corns intoxicated. inebriated. In fact 0oEned-
Boy. did you ever hear OF anybody that was
corned2 We'll. that's It, tho poor fellow had
been led aStray BY wicked vegetable seven
feet high. Boy. you've got 20 help mo- Tor yoa
sold me this corn. Next time como book you
get around behind mo and get your hands
under my arms. There. that's It Nov veil
see II the oorn's too much for two able bodied
human beings You Just hold me and III
Wrestle with the corn.
Boy. did you ever hear Of the corn being full
IN the earl Well this 10 L. it's fuller than any
corn ever saw. but you and I can take caro- OF
It. now can't we7"
Thus tho difficulty WIS settled The customer
chung to the corn with 4 tight grip. and tho
merchant uphold his eustomer until his meal
was finished. The last seen Of the inebriated
citizen he was gliding up tho street with the
ompty cob In his hand engaged In gleetul er-
PLANTATION to himself Of all the problSms pre-
asRtsd By IN ear OF corn and jag.