The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1899-05-19
If Bride 10 Older THAN Her Husband.

If Bride 10 Older Than Her Husband
Is there really good reason why a wom-
an should be compelled to run the gaunt-
let of ridicule and blame from all ac-..
quaintance, il she happens to marry
man younger than herself? A few in
stances lately Of marriage. between peo-
pie seeming admirably suited to each 9TH
er in all respects except that of the
woman being some years the senior, have.
made me seriously ponder the question.
If it were fact that such marriages
are usually, or even frequently, unhappy,
that would be sufficient explanation of
the ominous predictions with which each
fresh case is greeted. But do not the
facts as far as they can be gathered
from the observation of each individual,
and from the numerous well-known in
stances of marriages like those of the
Disraelis, the Brownings, and the Stev-
ensons, indicate that the marriages in
which the woman is the senior have as
good chance of happiness as any.
In truth, there are in my list Of ac-
qualntanceS severll cases of marriages,
which are apparently unusually happy,
where the wife is considerably older
than her husband, says Helen Hunting
don in the Ladies' World. I should be
desirable for woman to marry Il man
younger than herself, but it seems evil
dent that such difference in years is
no serious drawback to matrimonial fe
licity. Probably the explanation of ex-
ceptionally happy unions of this kind is
to be found in the fact that marriages
in which the woman is the elder are
usually founded ON some marked congo
niality in tastes, pursuits, or character,
which in itself furnishes the best basis
for permanent happiness.
Doubtless all Of us have prejudice
against the marriage of very young
man with woman much older than
himself. There is ground for suspicion
in such case that the woman has had
the leading hand in the affair, and we at
once pity the youth and blame the wom-
an. For, in spite of its being an open
secret that many Il marriage originates
in the brain of the woman concerned,
and is set in train by her before the
idea of it has dawned upon the slower
mind of the masculine being most inter-
ested, we love the appearance Of the con-
ventionality which supposes her to have
had no more prominent part in the matri-
monial arrangement than the simple say
ing of yes at the proper time.
On account of the apparently insur-
mountable prejudice against such unions,
it might be well in cases where the man
is still in the early twenties and the
woman has reached or passed 30, for
her to insist upon deferrins the marriage
for few years until the youth should
have more nearly caught up with her.
The difference Of Il few years is most
noticeable when a man is very young
and woman his senior. Half a. dozen
years later it may not he apparent which
is the elder. l have in mind Il widow
of 80 who. becoming affianced to a boy
of %, refused to marry him until he had
reached the age of %. But conjecture
that few women will be likely to follow
her example, however commendable, on
account Of their sense of the insecurity
of the tenure by which the affections of
most men of that age are held.
After all, what, people object to is not
20 much a wife's actually being older
the appearance by no means always COIN
..ides with the fact. Difference in age
between people is matter Of physical
constitution and Of temperament as much
us of years. There are cases where
women look older than the husbands, who
Are their seniors. There are other in
stances where men seem fully as Old as
wives ten or fifteen years their elders.
I1owells, in discussing the question of
marriage between a man of % and
woman Of 40, in Indian Summer says
that a woman retains the buoyaucy of
youth much longer than a man. 1t Ger
tainly is more common to find woman
than a man who keeps enthusiasm, fresh
ness of interest, fexibility of mind and
zest i'll life to an advanced age.
Is it not time, then, that we abandon
il notion which has come down to us
from the days when women frequently
married at IL, and if still unwedded at
the age of 20, were retired as hopeless
old maids, and recognize the tact that it
is certainly no less suitable for woman
to marry man ten years younger than
twenty years older than herself? That
III truth, the chances of a happy com,)an-
ionship between husband and wife may
be better in the former case than in the
latter?