davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25
Touched the Wrong Man.

IF I slip down ON defective grating
in the street pavement and sustain Sc
we're damages, can / get redress?" he
asked of a lawyer.
you can"
"Whom shall / sEey'
"The owner or occuDier of the prem
ises. You can hold him responsible"
Il was laid up seven weeks and
think ! ought to have f2O.'
Il think we can get double that. Do
you know the. owner of the property"
II can find out very easily. It's No. SO
Blank street,
What? Why, that's my residence.
Better drop the case at once, sir for
got to say that the law is so defective
that you can't get verdict once in TWEEN
ty times Tit Bits.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25
FOUND A NEW GAS.
Grizzly Gu1ch Miners Rave an I'M
usual Experience.

Near Lead, s. D., two miners named
William Smart and Charlie Brown, while
running tunnel from a shaft in Grizzly
gulch met with peculiar experience.
They had put in heavy blast of powder
at the end Of the tunnel and after it
had been fred they went down to ex-
anime the work. They found that the
wall had been broken through into Il
large chamber about twenty feet square.
Their candles commenced to burn more
brightly and they felt peculiar exhilara-
ton in the air they breathed After
the surface and there both tainted away.
and it was some time before they re-
gained consciousness. The chamber
which had been broken into contained
some sort of gas; what it was the miners
could not say. 1t affected them several
DAYS
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25
Wouldn't Know the Difference.

The captain of a country football
team, finding himself unable to get to-
gether a team to fulfill an engagement
with a club in town five miles away,
wired to that effect to the secretary of
the opposing team. Cant let you off, y
was the answer; "crowd waiting al
ready" The captain made another effort
to get his men together, but without sue
cess, and was once more obliged to wire
his inability to fulfill the engagement.
The answer came: If you can't come
yourselves, please send your sweaters.
We can pick up team from the nav
vies working here on the railway, and
the people won't know the difference"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

in her counsel practical assistance.
Mrs. Pinkham's address is Lynn.
Mass.
MRS. MABEL COOP, Correctionville,
Ia. tells how Mrs. Pinkham saved
her life. She says:
81 cannot thank you enough for
what your medicine has done for me.
can recommend it as one of the best
medicines on earth for all women's
ills. suffered for two years with
last became bedfast. Three of our
good so I concluded to try Lydia
COMPOUND. After taking a few bottl
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25
Railway Carriages in Belgium.

abolished in Belgium, except with trains
from other countries. In place of them
elegantly furnished parlor cars have been
introduced, with buffet, and first or sec
ond-class passengers can make use of
these as long as they please on payment,
in the car itself, of an extra sum.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25
TRY Grain.O. Try Grain-O.

Ask your Grocer to-day to show you a
package of GRAIN-O, the new food
drink that takes the place of coffee. The
children may drink it without injury as
well as the adult. All who try it like it.
GRAIN-O has that rich seal brown of
Mocha or Java, but it is made from pure
grains, and the most delicate stomach re-
ceives it without distress. IA the price Of
coffee. 15c and 25c per package. Sold
by all prOcayS
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25
Picture Postal Cards.

Germany turns out 10 new picture pos
tai cards day, according to the British
consul at Frankfort, and the yearly out
put is over 100000, which are export
ed to all parts of the world. Since the
collecting mania began the increase in
the number of postal cards handled by
the German postoffice has been 12,OOO,-
600 q wear
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

Attend the Oshkosh Business College
and School of Shorthand and Typewrit-
ing. Best in everything! Business Prac-
tice in Bookkeeping and Shorthand from
start to finish. Educates practically and
supplies business houses with competent
assistants. Established Sept. /. 1867.
No vacations. For catalogues address
w. w. Daggett. Oshkosh. Wis.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

erel. There he said, beating his little
sides with JOY. There, daddy. what do
you think of that for a boy with only one
pocket in his knickerbockers and who
won't say his prayers ?"-Boston Herald.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

The appearance of mackerel in Bel
lingham bay is ascribed to the fact that
few millions of young mackerel We're
several years ago placed in California
waters and some of them have come up
the coast and entered Puget sound. 1t
proves that this species of fish will live
in these waters as elsewhere
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25
SPINNING WHEEL.
A PERSISTENT PURsUER.

You can get away from indians;
Detectives you can foil;
You can hide yourself from burglars
Who are spying round for spoil.
You can shun the deadly trolley
If you'll pause a bit and plan;
But it's hard to get in hiding
When the office seeks the man.
1t seldom brings disturbance
To a placid mortals way;
But when it does it's tireless
AS lion after prey.
So take warning, Mr.. Dewey,
AS the outlook here you sean.
There's a roar that makes the echoes
AS the office seeks the man!
Washington Star.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

Ella Wheeler Wilcox thinks the sue
cessful man lis one who has made
happy home for his wife and children,
no matter what he has done In the way
of winning money or fame.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

Suspicious Resemblance. = Johnny =
Here's a note from me father to excuse
me for not comm yesterday" Teacher
Your father writes and spells too much
like you, Johnny. Puck.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

-Vice-Admiral Sir John Fisher of the
English navy will soon hoist his flag on
the Renown and assume command of the
Mediterranean squadron
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

"Gooseberry fool, SO popular in Eng
land, is a corruption Of gooseberry foule
gOOSeberres.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

-Fernand Labor, the counsel for
Dreyfus, is the editor of an exhaustive
encyclopedia of French law, the twelfth
volume of which was issued last year.
He is also the editor of a monthly polit
ical and literary review called the Grand
Revue.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

T\IE ills of overshadow their whole lives.
Some women constantly getting medical treat
= mert and never WE'LL "A woman best understands
Ills and the who consult Mrs Pinkham find
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

Yields of onions around Milford,
ID, this season, are $50 to 800 bushels
per acre. One grower harvested 5000
bushels from six acres.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

Japan will not restore captured ships
to China, but will sell her new ally 24O,-
600 Mauser rifles and 24,O00,000 rounds
of ammunition at a low rate
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

How is the earth divided?" asked the
confident teacher Of his class before the
examiners. by earthquakes, sir, was
the prompt answer from one of the most
eager of his pupils-TidBits
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

To Cure Cold in One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. all
druggists refund the money if it fails to cure.
Zoe. E. w. Groves signature is on each box.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

Fits Permanently Cured No fits or nervousness
after first days of DIR. Klines 6 reat Nerve
Restorer. Send for FREE Sc 90 trial bottle AMI
treatise. DIR. r. H. KLINE. Ltd. 931 Arch ST., Pha-
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25
Want your moustache or beard a beautiful
brown or rich black? Then use
BUCKlNGHAM'S Dye f @h,sshhesrs
Heating of Milk.

The results of series of experiments
made by German dairy experts show that
milk that has been heated for fifteen
minutes at 10 degrees G. scarcely loses
any of its capacity of being converted
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

] shall recommend Piso's Cure for Con-
sumption far and wide.-Mrs. Mulligan,
Plamstead. Kent. England. Nov. 3. 1895.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

A Brooklyn man says every wom
an says 1T seems to me- ut least six
times when she makes a speech.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

Warm WhaIeDOne to Cut Il.
Whalebone may be easily cut if
warmed first over lamp or by the fire,
when it will become SOFT
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

The average wages of a domestic
servant in London is S1.SS 4 week.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

A label of AmbrOsia Chocolate sent TO AM
brosia Chloe Co., Milwaukee, brings a pretty
souvenir free. Send for it today.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

The Duchess of Bedford has the I'M
est collection Of cats in the world.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

Write for circular Of Spencerian Bust
ness and Shorthand College, Milwaukee.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25


-:O:
It's a queer worl'' said the old man,
when yOu come to think it over. You
know ! dedicated Jim fer a lawyer"
Yes"
An Bill fer a preacher
Exactly"
AN Tom fer one of these here Ht-
erary fellers?'
I've heard So"
An Dick fer a doctor?"
Yes"
We'll, now, what do you reckon,
I'm adoin' off,
Cant say
well, sir, you mout not believe it. but
I'm a-supportin' of Jim an Bill an
Tom an Dick, an it keeps me a-goIn
from daylight to dark"'-Atlanta Con-
stitutiOn.
"One of Padelford's best dogs looks Just
like him.
Did he ever enter the dog in bench
show
Just once The judges threw him
out They seemed to think he was {;
ringer. They said he looked too much
like some other dog they had seen some
where. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mrs. Murphy-"Oi say, Pat. what
would yez do if the ould house would
tumble on yez and crush yez to DEATH"
Her MISUNDERSTANDING, an Old fly fer
me loife. Ohio State Journal.
The poor country minister is often in
despair about making both ends meet
when his family is large and his salary
small, as is too many times the ease.
1t was SO i'll this instance, says the New
York Sun. Even if the salary had all
been paid, he wouldn't have felt over
burdened with riches, but the year was
nearing its end and the church treasury
yawned empty. At the close of the serv-
ice the minister addressed his flock.
rs there any brother who will donate
some straw for my horse? If so. let him
rise He waited; nobody stirred. 1t
might count toward the salary" he add
ed But silence continued its reign. The
Lord pity the poor BEAST" he said and
dismissed the congregation.
-:O:
Harry said Mrs. Mcbride. Il want
a $500 piano for Christmas gift"
What discount will you allow me if |
get it for you now?" asked the practical
Mr.. McBride.-H Bazaar.
lone day." says a writer in the Bos
ton Transcript, 1.-The mother of 10
ytdT-Olu uOy SdNc tWo SllSCS VI put
tered bread, telling him to give one of
them to his little sister. He carried out
the order. That night when he went TO
bed he was evidently disturbed in his
mind and remorseful about something,
and his mother questioned him in a way
to bring out the truth. II wasn't
nice to Peggy about that bread and but
ter he owned. Why? asked his moth.
er. Did you take the bigger piece!
No. he: answered, hers was a little
bigger than mine was, but mine was a
good deal butterer!"
The kmiable Plutocrat-"But riches
do not bring happiness"
The Unamiable Pauper-"But | amt
lookin' fer happiness. All / want is com
fort. "-Indianapolis Journal.
Little Marvin Thorncroft is 5 and lives
out on Pingree avenue. For the last
three or four nights his mother has read
him to sleep. she has used the evening
paper for the purpose, and, of course
the most she has read has been about
the nations welcome to Admiral Dewey.
The yOungster hasn't had anything to
think about but Dewey.
Last night, just before he fell asleep,
he said: Mamma, do you suppose that
if Dewey died they'd put Welcome
sign up over the gates of heayen?"-De-
troit Free Press.
-:O:--
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

The Oldest living member of the New
Y ork Stock exchange is William Alexan-
der, who was elected in 1914
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

Rheudes Business College and Mechan-
zeal ORA wing School, Milwaukee.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

Her Rival May-"Jennie loves Jack
.Sweldhedde, but she's afraid he loves
somebody else more"
Fay-'She's right, too
May" Indeed! Who is itT'
; Fay-"Jack Sweldhedde.' Catholic
Standard and Times.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

The Empress Of Germany gets from
100 to 800 new dresses each year.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

Mrs. WfnslOvv's SOOTHING SYRUP for children
teething. softens the gums, reduces Inflammation,
a,lays pain cures wind collie. CSC bottle.
Electricity is suggested as a substi-
tute for the guillotine in France.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

The kmiable Plutocrat-"But riches
do not bring happiness"
The Unamiable Pauper-"But | amt
lookin' fer happiness. All want is com
fort. "-Indianapolis Journal.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

Summer Boarder-'I thought you
wrote me that you had no mosquitoes p
Joshua Hay-"Wall, / hain't. THAR
be more OF less Of 'em erround here. but
don't claim 'em."-Ohio State Journal
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

Harry said Mrs. Mcbride. Il want
a $500 piano for Christmas gift"
What discount will you allow me if |
get it for you now?'' asked the practical
Mr.. Mcbride -Harper's Bazaar.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

Halls Catarrh Cure.
Is taken internally. Price Is cents.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

The Boston Pilot tells of an exhorter
and solemnly presenting to his hearers
the alternative of salvation or damna-
tion-the King James Bible or the Douay
Bible Among the audience was citi-
zen who had been imbibing somewhat
freely This gentleman apparently mis-
understood the prea cher, for he yelled:
''Hooray for the Dewey Bible!' The
crowd took up the cry, and the exhorter
was compelled to suspend further effort.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

The small hoy refused to say his pray
ers the other night ON going to bed
Don't you wish God to take care Of
you?" asked his mother. ''Well, there's
way" replied young hopeful. The next
day the small boy went a-fshing with
his father, and the event of his life hap.
pened. He caught three-pound pick
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

You know what it is to be a bum,
To your pals you should be kind, sir;
Recall your woes and frisk your clothes,
And hand me what you find, sir,
The beggars was finally arrested, but
until then did not find out why he had
received no money as usual for the card
for he could neither read nor write.
The prison clerk read the revised verses
to him.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

Mamma-"What did you mean by say
ing No. when l asked you if you went
in bathing, when you knew you were
telling a wrong stOry!' johnny
Didn't you tell me the other day to be
man and learn to say No? Boston
Transcript.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25
THE BLUFF.

Stood pat. When all had fed
He pocketed the pot and quit
just twenty plunks ahead.
-Pittsburg Dispatch.
-:O:-
The Philadelphia Inquirer finds bach
elors' club pledged to marry widews:
There is bachelors club in the West
whose only rule to which members swear
allegiance when they join the club is
Marry a widow Young girls and old
maids alike are barred. One explanation
of this rule, given by member, is: We
consider it the part of wisdom to marry
someone who has already discovered that
men are not angels Another member
gives this philanthropic reason: Young
girls always have the best chance with
their fresh, blooming faces, and we think
the widows ought to be given show, as
their lives have been blighted in meas
ure, as it were. Anyway, they seem to
understand man better Another view
of the case is the fact that anything for
hidden suddenly acquires wonderful in
terest. A lot of bachelors who pledge
themselves to marry widows are sure to
discover the hitherto unappreciated
charms of all the maidens in town.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

'One of Padelford's best dogs looks Just
like him."
Did he ever enter the dog in bench
show
Just once. The judges threw him
out. They seemed to think he was q
ringer They said he looked too much
like some other dog they had seen some
where. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

An old farmer who had been to the
city was describing to his friends the
splendor of the hotel he stayed at.
Everything was perfect" said he; ''all
but one thing-they kept the light burn.
ing all night in my bedroom, a thing
amt used to-" WELL" said one of his
listeners. why didn't you blow it out?'
''Blow it Quit" said the farmer; how
could I? The pesky thing was inside a
bottle?'
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

It's a queer worr.'' said the old man,
when You come to think it over. You
know | dedicated Jim fer a lawyer
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25
PRACTICAL
HELP FOR
SUFFERING
WOMEN

female weakness and at
best doctors did me no
E. Pinkha1n's Vegetable
es of your medicine, | was
able to do all my house
work. [ know that your
medicine raised me from
a bed of sickness and
perhaps death, and am
very Thankful for what it
has done for me. / hope
tn at every suffering
woman may be per-
ed to try your medicine. :"
It Mrs. Pinkharn's advice
DON as you begin to be
led. The SICK headaches
dragging sensation come
a durable cause. Write
lelp as soon as they ap-
pear.
MRS. DOLE STANLEY,
c a m p b e llsburg. Ind,
writes: I" DEAR MRS.
PINKHAM-I was troubled
with sick headache and
was so weak and nervous,
l could hardly go. A
friend called upon me one
:. Pinkham's Vegetable
If world c,1ra mo ffhcr,
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

I'm worthless, shiftless, drunken bum,
And thief from hat to shoes;
/ never spent blooming cent,
For anything but BOOZE
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

Mrs. Murphy-"Oi say, Pat. what
would yez do if the ould house would
tumble on yez and crush yez to death? z"
Her Husband-''Faith, an Old fly fer
me loife. Ohio State Journal
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

Mrs. May-Fair-"I hear that your son
is great student, and spends most of
his time over the midnight OIL" Mrs.
Jones "a rich parvenu, in pony carriage)
MOT a word of truth in it. We ave
helectric light hall over the 'ouse, and
Hatred as a 'ole chanticleer in is
room!'-Punch.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

l haven't worked in fifteen years,
And I'm a healthy, husky man:
I'm lying lOut, who's always out,
For the price to chase the can.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-10-25

evening recommended Lydia E. Pinkhams Vegetable
Compound saying she that would Then
your medicine and after taking five bottles of
entirely cured. I cannot praise it enough
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1899-01-17
CORNER DRUG STORES
ihc Rapidly Multiplying Saloons Are
CrowdinE Them from Their
FavOrite Place.

The corner drug store, with its fash
ing colored lights, is destined to event.
ually disappear. The drug store of the
not far distant future will be in the
center of blocks, especially in the
downtown and business districts.
Whether this will be due to the march
OF progress is another story. The sa-
looms will occupy the corners as a rule.
In broadway. New York, there are not
half dozen drug stores on prominent
corners from the Battery to Central
park. The saloons and other businesses
Gutbld the druggists in the matter of
rents The drug business has been
badly invaded by dealers in other lines
who have added to their general stocks
patent medicines, fancy goods. toilet
articles. and the thousand and one
things no one thought Of seeking out.
SIDE OF Il drug store few years ago
But the drug stores still hold on to the
profitless but accommodating trade al
postage stamps.
Already in Chicago, says the Chron.
icle. the middle of the block" know,
several drug stores, and as leases OK.
pre- Ill the coming years there will ot
many removals to similar locations by
prominent downtown stores. all on ac.
count of higher rentals offered by
other lines of business, most frequent.
- from liqnor dealers. Already sa
looms have been built around several
downtown corner pharmacies in IL
shape. and the owners are eagerly
awaiting the time when an opportunity
will :ome for them to outbid the drug
men for the corner space.
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1899-01-17
ATE DURING THE FIGHT.
Admiral Schlcy and Capt. Cook Not
Worried Enough to Lose
Meal.

1t seems that Admiral Schlcy and
Capt. Cook sat down to dinner while
the Brooklyn was chasing the unfor.
tunate but gallant Colon. There's
American assurance for you. says the
knnaIs City Star. At tI:r Close Of
tremendously important battle. which
srti'ru war and changed the map O!
the world. the commanders on the
United States flagship. pursuing al toJ
speed. the last Of the enemy. whose
guns still belched defiance. sal down to
elmer. which. no doubt, was served i'm
style and with a strict regard for gas-
Economical etiquette.
IL will have bit Of the tomato
soup" remarked the admiral. "Ah.
that mus; have been a five and one-hali
inch shell. eh. captain?"
Sounds like it--pass me the celery"
replies Capt. Cook.
With the cheese and black coffee aud
cigars the enemy is overhauled and
driven ashore. the Spanish sailors dot
ting the sea like drowning rats and the
aged Cervern tearing his beard in the
agony Of disaster. Then. after qua fling
q chartreuse. the American admiral ap-
pears on deck and orders all boats low
cred and all efforts made TO save the
lives Of the saturated Sr"niards.
There ought to be fairly good mate
rial in this incidept for a light opera.
There was nothing half SO naive or
amusing in "Pirafore."
Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1899-01-17
Mystery o, a Disappearing Cargo.

The mystery Of the disappearance Of
part Of the cargo Of the schooner Chal-
mer two years ago. while bound from
Baltimore to Savannah. has been
solved by an examination Of the vessel
at Philadelphia, where she has been
undergoing repairs. Ten tons Of phos-
phate, the missing merchandise. were
located between the inner ceiling and
the outward plankinS, where II had
worked two years ago while the vessel
was storm-tossed at sea. Id was neces
sary to cut away part Of the plankinP
on the inside and outside OF the vessel
10 remove the phosphate. the work oc-
cupying over week. The vessel had
lost her insurable interest. and IT, waa
while the trouble was being inquired
into that the missing cargo was diecov-
cred.