The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1899-11-30
ECHOES FROM
THE MECAPHONE
T'rom the cIogtown Megaphone.

From the Clogtown Megaphone
We desire to say to the readers of the
Megaphone that the paper will continue t.
come out on time as heretofore. We may
be a week or two late occasionally, but We
shall always strive to give our readers the
latest news. It is necessary 60 make this
statement, because some INSCRIPTIONS par
ties in clogtown say that since a visit to
Birmingham last week the editor has gone
to wearing a necktie. While dt Is true that
we are now wearing a necktie, it is also
true that we have not lost all of our
senses. We never had on a tie before in
our life, and of course we may have acted
a little strange since. When we got mar
ried, and the street cars made extra trips
to the wedding, we never wore a neektie.
We We're not stuck up at all, and, although
we are now wearing one, we are the Same
to our friends We do not look down upon
anybody as a result, and while the sensa-
ton is strange, still there is a Chance for
us to recover and Zoe ourselves again Our
physician assures US this much.
1t happened this way. Being in Birming-
ham last week. and business requiring us
to go among professional men rather plen-
ty, some of them declined to talk to us
because We did not have on a necktle, say
ing we were not half dressed; that we left
our toilet too soon, and that they could not
talk to a man on the street who did not
wear tie any more than they could in
wife man in his night shirt to a swell ball.
We noticed everybody, even the girls, had
on one; and while we do not propose to
wear everything that girl wears, still we
thought 1t might Zoe policy to wear tie.
A lady clerk waited upon us; she asked
what kind of a tie we wanted. Telling her
that we wanted a necktie, she said there
were many kinds; but as we did not know
their names, we simply insisted that we
just wanted necktie, hating to come right
out and say we had never bought one be-
fore Seeing that we did not know what
we wanted, she smilingly picked up one
and said we would look 50 much more like
a man-like two men, in fact-if we would
wear it. Our whole anatomy by this time
was perfectly Timber, and we took IT, glad
to close the trade and escape.
In an alley we tried it on. We had a
pocket mirror. How we did look! Little
did our parents think we would ever come
to this, but accidents happen in the best of
families. Ny! We felt that everybody in
Birmingham was looking at that tie. They
were not of course, but the thought made
us just as uncomfortable.
We have read how men feel when being
hung. Now we know-only better. Could
not breathe; could not recognize anybody;
knew nothing except that we had Oh a tie.
1t was momentariy climbing higher and
higher under our throat; soon it would cut
off our head, and then somebody would be
made to suffer-ourselves mostly. Things
were getting desperate; some thing must 5e
done. We were now running about like a
COW with a board over her face, only we
outdid the cow. large crowd began to
collect around u.s. Could not endure that,
SO a passing car was seized and we started
to see our wife, On the car we felt like
fool. That feeling is not natural to a man
as wise as the Megaphone man, but We
were breathing hard and fast, like loco
motive climbing a grade. On that car ev-
ery1Oody made us a target for their eyes;
they did not know what was the matter;
they did not suspect the tie-they suspic-
toned us altogether
But at homei Myl think of your wife at
such slime meeting you and saying you
look ten per cent better, and you in such
a condition as we were! She had never
seen us wear tie, and it actually pleased
her.
Until things are Strengthened out in the
office the Megaphone may not read as
chaste as Emerson or Hawthorne, but We
crave sympathy in the meantime, and
promise to never do it again. JE. G.