The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1899-12-22
MRS. sISkKRs HAS THE CLOCKS.
And sinkers Asks snrsaparilia Reilly's Adj
vice ns to How to Cure Her.

And sinkers Asks sarsaparilla Reilly's Al
| vice ns to How to Cure Her.
| Dos your wife stand not bossing7" asked The
| Sinker Man when Sarsaparilla Reilly came intC
! the little restaurant.
| You'll have TO send an interpreter wild thai
question" replied Reilly ASK me again"
Il mean" continued Sinkers, do sometime,
! your wife do something when you told her not &c
did IT,"
/ Never" said Reilly. when give orders ia
Mary Ellen she obeys thin afore the words of
me tongue"
Not nit my Lena like dot" remarked Sinkers
When say Don't she will, und when I say
You WILL she don't She is the most contra
dictionary wife yhat1 ever had"
And how many had ye7" asked Reilly
Only Lena" replied Sinkers. "She is much
plenty as ten vifes"
Well" said Reilly, what has she been doing
nowr
"She been getting vorser." answered Snkers.
i am pooty near crazy. My Lena got the clocks.
And what's the clocks?" asked Reilly.
We'll, said Sinkers: she is on der extallment
plan buying a new clock every week. She is
What you call in your language 'ektallment
buggy. She always wants ter buy something
from every extallment agent what comes around
the house. When der agent tells her she is a
nice lady und calls her Miss. den she buys what.
ever he wants TO sell II he wants TO sell clocks,
week before, three Before dot she buycd Ave
Now We got 80 much clocks in der house dot I
never don't can tell what time is 1t. When l get
UP IN der morning TO go on work. I'm
two hours late and I'm an hour before. When
believe I'm three hours before I'm two hours
three and three s strikes four o' How do I know
which time Is it, hcbbe it's dinner time und I
eat my breakfast, und mebbc eat my breakfast
inta Va ut al l...slsa la
house und one keeps time behind der other ono
hour am You'd do, make you crazy"
way av getting out ay the trouble an that ~
by arranging tn slow clocks to go fast and tn
last clocks 70 go slow"
g, Dot wouldn't make n bit Of difference" said
Slnkers, cause next week my wife would buy
two more clocks from der eNtnllmcnt man und
den l would yet be two hours behind. When she
gc,s CLOCK dry. she signs my name on der cx
tallment bill. 50 must pay % cents every week
for de, new clock. She told me to day when sho
and onc q" S Hg' SHe ns' Say
her I,nele Charlie .Mrbbr. too, get ono in my
That's Dutch idea" remarked Reilly "a
woman ian goes and buys clock on tick an puts i
regular Dutch, Christmas present Ha ha, ha!"
l,ur reHss ,RSGy pleaded sjnks5s please don't
We no more friends. Reilly
,.Av course, W, arc" said Reilly, but II my
mcnt plan, I'll tell her ri spend me weeks wages
IN hei I,crry's That'll make her come To time.
an she u buy me fine necktc and calfsk in gloves
Tor cash Threaten Lena that way an she'll
git over the installment habit Mark my word.
oihkefs' " you don't vaccinatc Lena with good
advice she u Kit the chattcl mortgages and die on
side" " ' W NV
Veil. said Sinkcrs. let us talk about cash
payments When We pay cash for a drink We shout
70 der bartender Hey, Why don't Won hurry up'
Are you asleep Give us der best in der house
Dut vhen you want to hang 1t on der ,latc YOU
sneak in der saloon sideways and say: Hello.
Jerry how bad you feel: do you we're sick You
LOOK pales In your face What a shame YOU
must work 50 hard. You should home be- in bed
WI you hlge us NIT a little drink I'LL Tucsdnv
nRhi Den Jerry says Sure, What IL going 10
be- Den you git II and sneak out SIDEWAYS"
ct US sneak In sideways now remarked
fi,ly ! m dead broke an I'm dying for a high
baiI There 8 no harm In drinking on the install,
ment plan, for II you hit them one by one You
won get drunk as quick as you would by drinking
think SO, neither" said Sinkers. and they
looked. " '''' NV