Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1899-12-20


Smith-Young Brown seems to have .
clear head. Jones-Yes. There's abso-
lutely nothing in 1t.
us your new play comedy or q trag-
edy% I can't tell until see how the
audience takes it."-Chicago Record.
She goes in for realism, doesn't uheY'
Yes, indeed! Even the clocks ON her
stockings are NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
Record.
Dewey believes in short engage.
ments," remarked Mrs. Snaggs. ayes,
the Spaniards who were at Manila Last
year can testify to that."-Pittsburg
Chronicle-Telegraph.
Hattle-So Jack is engaged to Fannie.
Ella-Yes, poor fellow. He'll probably
never know what he missed. Hattie
Why, what do you mean? That
he could have had you for the asking.
What" asked the sentimental young
woman. was the most touching incl
dent you ever witnessed?" And, after
some thought, Senator Sorghum an
swered with emphasis, "An election
washington Star.
Physician-You should repose on the
right side only in order to enjoy good
nights rest. 1t is positively Injurious
to lie on both sides. Patient-But how
can help 1t, doctor? You seem to have
overlooked the fact that am lawyer.
Chicago News.
Couldn't Declde.-"Harkl do you hear
that man on the front seat? What un-
der heaven is that gibberish he's talk
ing? He's reading a list Of Boar
words and their definitions" well,
thought it must be that or golf. Cleve- s
land Plain Dealer.
Jack-You won't let me have . W
Why, you loaned an X to Jones, and
he's almost perfect stranger TO You.
Tom--Well? Jack-Well, I'm an old
friend of yours. Tom Exactly. Jack.
and don't want to lose you.-C Catholic
Standard and Times.
"These sky-scraplng fats have
Knocked the stufiing out Of romance"
said the young man. Yes said the
other young man, they have. Fancy
serenading girl who lived in the fifth
story, with brass band and mega
phone!-Indianapolis Journal.
Teacher-Now. little girl, 1 have told
the class about the wicked place being
paved with good Intentions. Now.
what do you suppose heaven Is paved
with? Little Girl with delightful rec
objection of fresh-alr picnic)-Ham
sandwiches. bananas an ple.-Harlem
Life.
Mrs. Stubb-John. what In the world
are you doing with those boxing gloves
in one hand and the remnants Of dinner
in the other? Mr.. Stubs Maria, there
is a tramp downstairs who says he u
looking for scraps. l want to be GER
tain which kind he means.-Chicago
| News
Don't you wish you had minded
me-" said the stern mother, as she piled
the paddle to her. erring son with mon
otonous frequency and vlgor. Il WISH"
| said Johnny, ms he tried to twist around
so that the paddle would strike him
slantingly, 81 wish wuz orting. -
| Ohio State Journal.
Il wish now shrieked the angry
young wife. II wish now. Frederick
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mona ring that her lover, Freu stitoa.
gave her Funny that you never gave
me any diamond ring He-Nellie. It Is
only girls VINO are not precious In them
selves who require the establishment
OF precious stones. she-oh,. Harry,
what dear feliOw you are!-BoSt0n