The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-11-20
Ep1sTLEs TO ST. PAUL.

He was dapper little drug clerk once,
but he had a tired look when he strolled
into Wabasha street refectory last night
and shouted at the bartender, who was
just counting up the cash, preliminary to
going home:
Say, give me some orangeine."
The foreman of the rum mill looked at
him blankly, but went to the soft drink
box. They never confess not having any
thing called for. He flashed bottle and
reached for a glass.
Say" shouted the druggist, what is
this orangeine, anyway"
II don't know" replied the bartender.
Here's some orange cider. Take that
and run along home"
Not on your tintype, with the cider"
exclaimed the druggist. Count me out
three-hnger glass and turn around min
ute while l sample some spirits frumenti,
commercially pure. But I would like to
know what this 'orangeine' is. This morn
ing fly drummer comes in and SAYS he
got cold room at the hotel, and he wants
some orangeine to cure his sniff1es
tried to give him some quinine pills in a
tall glass, but he wouldn't stand for the
same. and said he was going on the trail
OF orangeine. This afternoon g. chap
comes in and says he's got neuralgia till
he can't see. Wants a bottle Of orange
Inc, and down in Springfield, ILL.,, they
don't use anything else. Too bad we amt
got IT, but he's got to find it somewheres.
Have another drink?" inquired the bar
tender, as there was pause in the MARIA
tive.
Yes. But that amt the worst of IT.
1t did not appear to be- either, the way
he took down his drink
tore four pages out of the catalogues
trying to find out who got this orangeine
UP and what about It, and no 60 Long
about o'clock tonight In comes a little
woman With sunny smile, and she's got
this Unsuitable appetite for orangeine, it
seems. Anyway she wants some, and l
try to con her along and see If a hot soda
with some autumn cordials in it wouldn' f
do just as well, and she gives me a look
and says:
Well, I guess not, you fresh young
thing. 1t amt for me, nohow. It's for
my big sister
L didn't get a chance to tell her we
didn't have any, for her skirts made a
swish when she went out like a fy-cast-
Ing prize winner at Lake Como But the
first time 1 got chance to lock IN T
blew the store till could find out whether
this orangeine was a Coney island phos-
phate, patent medicine, or one Of Eddie
Foy's chorus girls with a new advertising
dodge"
And the bartender didn't know, either.
There was a ball at Arion hall last Fri
day evening and a young man who sells
wet goods in @ Sixth street refreshment
snop decided to attend. He called a cab
NOW the cabman, who was something
OF a practical joker, had two loose boards
Ill the bottom Of his vehicle, and these
ne carefully placed askew before the
young man stepped in. The result was
that the bartender and the horse ran
neck and neck to the hall. The Young
man remarked afterwards:
IF the blanked cabman had only stuck
TO the paved streets could have stood It.
but 1t seemed to me that he Travelled over
twenty miles in going the four blocks.
Inc condition of my clothes furnished as
good an indication as cycIometer"
The other day burglars entered into the
apartments occupied by a former news
paper man and escaped with quantity
of gold coin and other things. True to
his newspaper instincts the victim tele-
phoned a certain newspaper Office and
the following cciloquy took place between
the former newspaper man and the as
ststant editor. who knew him:
Hullo.'" said the victim.
"Hullo"
Say, this is Hennessy. Burglars have
just broken into my place"
What did they leave?" inquired the as
sistant city editor, solicitously, and the
only answer was the sound of the bell
ringing off.
The Philistine.