Daily inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1881-1901, 1899-03-13
MEDITATIONS OF MARTIN DOOLEY.

Il wondher will Dewey r-run FIR prisl-
dint?" said Mr.. Hennessy. He'd be tn
gr-reat candydate. l dinnaw whether
he's a dimmycrat or a protestant, but I'd
vote FIR him.
NO said Mr.. Dooley. NJ cousin
George is not a candydate. He don't need
tn job an why should he take it? Can
ye imagine, Hinnissy, Cousin George
settin' in tn lap " Hinky Dink FIR to get
a nommynation? Can We think iv him
r-runin' around tn country smellin' "
gasoline smoke an maxim speeches in
Bricklayers' hall? Cud We get Cousin
George FIR to come out on tn stoop iv his
battleship to Address a obligation iv tn
Suspender Salesman, Expansion, Home
Market an Dewey club? How'd he look
in a photograph with a copy iv tn Yer
mont PALLADIUM in his hand an a pitcher
iv his Aun Name on tn wall behind
him? How'd he an me frind Macchew
Quay get along together thryin' to uphold
tn honor iv tn naytional bankin' sys-
tenn? How'd he keep himsilf right with
tn CORNER stone iv tn r%aypublic, tn
thrade in beef in tn can? An how'd he
hold tn German vote an lave it live?
mo, Cousin George is not a candydate.
Divvle a bit iv it. A rayporther finds
him up on tn roof " a battleship lliVat-
in tn, degraded Philippians higher thin
Gilderoy's kite, an says he: Admiral
he says, will We run FIR prisidint?' he
says. 'F'r what?' says Cousin George.
FIT prisidint iv tn United States,' says
tn rayporther. I see mesilf,' says Cousin
George, pointin' a long gun at a church,
Z see mesilf goin' home to that happy
but excited country an gallopin'
ar-round firm wan precinct to another
/ nailip' 6j11ypa taS' he saws. Il see mpSilf.'
he says, as she shoots a thirteen inch
shell at our former allies, 'tellin' tn Nay
tional Association iv Mannyfactherers lv
Imbammed Beef hat they're presarvin'
tn, TRADITIONS iv washington an Lin
| coln,' he says. 'Whin they cant pre-
| sarve COW meat SO that it'll hast through
a. hard winter he says. Catch me sing
in "They'se No Place Like Home" in
Boston an he says, "They'se No Place
Like Home to Get Away F'r'm'in Wash
ington,' he says. TIL TARIFF? says he.
'Th' only jooties l knoW about is those
he says, L owe to mesilf, to paste you
small but fiery ~ruffyans,' he say TIL
money question with me is will 1 get tn
salary that goes with TIL new job or
won 10 he says. I'm here he says,
an the beauchous blue sky iv our happy
colony is over me- he says, an I'd rather
have me fellow citizens that is to be if
they live as marks FIR me- he says, thin
~ lC a Iild l. L llit cAA - AiASo 4 ' lIlilA
at home,' he says. Say to tn good people
iv tn United States he says, that I'm
dom we'll where I am he says. There
bein' nawthin' left on tn sea- he says,
I am pursooin' lane operations on me
own hook he says. I've just repeleld a
cav'lry charge he says, an tomorrow
III lave me ships thrained to climb threes
an dhrive out sharpshooters,' he says,
an I'm TIL boy orator iv tn Pasig,' he
says, an I'm maxim a speech iviry five
minyits an ivry speech a gr-reat hit with
tn colored vote he says. L recognize
tn honor we as a representative raypor-
Their nave offered to me- he says, but
he says, T prefer he says thai some
wan else shud ave it, he says. 'Besides,'
he says, 'mebbe if I wanted it 1 cudden't
get it, he says. ~
so there We ar-re, Hinnissy. Cousin
George will not come on here to address
you an other intilligint citizens like We
firm tn back iv a dhray. He'll Law TIL
destiny iv TIL raypublic to other hands
that can control it tn way tn man con-
throlled tn balloon whin he got caught
be tn anchor. He'll lave tn destiny Nv
tn nation to others, an see that tn
Shootin' iv tn nation goes thraight. Firm
tn look iv things tn statesman can take
a day off FIR awhile an lave tn wurruk
to tn marksman. Cousin George will
stay in tn Ph'lippeens an blow up tn
enchantin' scenery an protect tn
naughty subjects iv tn Impror Willum
an Carl Schurz in tn man%nyfacther iv
liver wurst, and see that tn p%risidint's
peace commissioners is not ct be our en-
l%ightened brethren in Manila, an Mack
an nell stay at home practisin' tn arts
iv peace an eXpandin' with Cousin
George as he goes along, so that tn Dor
ders iv our beloved country firm day
to day II be where his Goa tails flies in
tn breeze. TIL United States is bounded
on tn east be TIL Atlantic ocean, an on |
tn west be Cousin George"
After a long pause Mr.. Hennessy took
his cigar from his mouth and remarked: |
He wudden't git tn German vote
NO." said Mr.. Dooley, but if he r-run
perhaps he wudden't lave thin Vote
Chicago Journal. z.a= FL.