The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1899-08-02
SAINT PETER AT TIE CATE.

The choirs in the distance the echoesaWoke
And the man kept still willie the woman
spoke
"Oh, thou who guardes the gate, said she'
We come hith beses ching thee
To let us enter the heavenly land,
To play our harps with the angel band.
OF me. st. Peter, there is no doubt
There's nothing from heaven to bar me out;
I've been to meetin' three time week,
And almost always I'd rise and speak.
"I've told the sinners about the day
When they'd repent of their evil way,
I've told my neighbors-Ive told them al
Bout Adam and Eve, and the primal fall;
I've shown them what they'd have to do
If th.y'd pass in with the chosen few.
I've marked their path of duty clear
Laid out the plan of their whole career.
nJ'va talked and talked to 'em, loud and
long;
For my lungs are good and my voice is
strong.
So. good st. Peter. you'll clearly see
The gate of heaven is open to me;
But my old man, regret to say,
Hasn't walked in exactly the narrow way.
He smokes and he swears, and grave faults
he's got
And don't know whether he'll pass or not.
He never would pray with an earnest vim,
Or 90 TO q revival, or Din in hymn.
So had to leave him in sorrow there
While I, with the chosen. uni ed in prayer.
He ate what the pantry chose to afford,
While I, in my purity. sang to the Lord
And if cucumbers we're all he got.
It's a chance if he mcrited them or not.
But, Oh! St. Peter, 1 love him so,
To the plea ures of heaven plea elet him 60.
I've done enough saint I've been,
Won't that atone? Cal't YOU 1t him in:
By ms grim gospel know It's so
That the unrepentant must try below,
But isn't the some way you can see
That he may enter who's dear TO me:
..It's a narrow gospel by which 1 pray;
But the chosen expect to find some way
Of coaxing, or fooling. or bribing you
So that theiy relations can amble through;
And say, St. Peter, it seems to me
The gate isn't kept as it ought 10 be,
Yo1 ought to stand right by the opening
there,
And never sit down in That easy chair.
Ard say, st. Peter, my sig.t is dimmed.
Bat don't like the way your whiskers are
trimmed.
THEY'RE cut too wide. and outward toes.
They'd look better narrow, cut straight
across.
Well, We mast te going our crown to win,
So open, St, Peter. and We'll pass in.
So St. Peter sat and stroked his staff,
But spite of his office, he had to laugh
Then said with a fiery gleam of his eye,
"Who is tending this gate-you or 1 :"
And then he arose in his stature tall,
And pressed button upon the wall,
And said to the imp who answered the bell
Escort this lady around to hell:
Ths man stood still as piece of stone
Stood sadly, g.oomily there alole;
A life long idea settled he had
That mis- wife was good and he was bad,
He thought if the womhn went down below
That he would certainly have to co.
That if she went to the region din
There wasn't a ghost of show for him.
Slowly he turned by habit bent
To follow wherever the woman went;
St. Peter, standing on duty there.
Observed that the top of his head was bare.
Hecalled the gentleman back and said.
Friend, how long have you been wed ?"
Thirty years." with weary sigh)
And then he thoughtfully added. 'Why:'
St. Peter was silent. with head bent down;
He raised his head and scratched his crown,
Then seemed different thought to take,
Slowly, half to himself. he spake,
Thirty years with that woman there:
No wonder that man hasn't any hair
Swearing is wicked. Smokes no good.
He smoked and swore-I should think he
would
Thirty years with that tongue so sharp:
Ho! Angel Gabriel! Give him harp.
A isweled harp wi golden string.
Good sir, pass in where the angels sing.
Glbriel gives him seat alone
One with cushiou-up near the throne.
Call mp some angels to play their best.
Let him enjoy the music and rest!
..See that on finest ambroSia he feeds.
He's had about all the he'll he needs;
1t isn't hardly the thing to do
TO roas, hin on earth and the future, too. y
They gave him harp with golden strings,
A gilt ering robe and pair of wings,
And he said as he entered the realm Of day,
"Well this beats cucumbers, anyway"
And so the scriptures had come to pass,
That The last shall b9 frst and the hrst
shall be last
ne Fooled the Surgeons.