Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-10-17

He examined it closely and turned it
round and round Its just what |
wanted" he said; who made it?'
Who made it," repeated Beecher:
who made this globe? Oh, nobody,
colonel; it just happened
They We're sitting the other afternoon
| Oh the beach of 4 resort not a thousand
miles from Washington that is not inter
| nationally famous for the quality or
quantity of food set before guests at the
| one eating pavilion, tells the Washington
Post. The feminine soul rises trium-
plant above mere little details of appe-
titc. and, anyhow, the honeymoon period
hadn't receded SO far into the past
And does 90 nv her oodleses and ood-
leses?' she asked him, archly. Does 90
nv her more'n steam yachtSes and bal
loonses and precious stoneses? More'n
eighty billion dOilarSes? Does oo?''
"Uh-huhw said he throwing pebbles
into the water, with a woltish express
sion in his eyes.
And would him twatle him little grille
grille for all the old moneyses on the
earth?' she went on.
Nope the brute replied. But, hon
est, I'd hate like the dickens to have
anybody throw a large, two-inch porter
house steak i'll front Of me and ask me
if | wanted to swap
Then the sea nettlCs ducked beneath
The surface OF the water to shut out the
sound Of plaintive weeps
A business house OF Aberdeen. Scot
land, recently engaged Office boy a
raw country youth. 1t was part OF his
duties to attend to the telephone in his
masters absence. When first called
upon to answer the bell, in reply to the
usual query Are you there?" he nodded
assent. Again the question came. and
still again, and each time the boy gave
an answering nod. When the question
came for the fourth time, however. the
boy, losing his temper, roared through
the telephone: Man, a We bin? Eve
been noddin' me held aft for t. last hauf
DOR. Philadelphia Times.
A new military prison chaplain was re-
Gently appointed in a certain town in
Scotland. He was man who greatly
magnified his office. On entering one of
the cells on his first round of inspection
he. with much pomposity, thus addressed
the prisoner who occupied it: "Weel,
sir. do You know who | am?'' ''No,
nor | dinna care" was the nonchalant
reply. '.Weel, I'm your new chaplain"
''Oh, We are; well. l haze heard o ye
before" And what did you hear?"
returned the chaplain. his curiosity get
iliiS TIE DeiltI VI Ills uISIltI w ell, L
heard that the last twa kinks We were
in We preached them bath empty, but III
be hanged if We find it such an easy
matter TO do the same wi this one
-:o:-
Clubb-'How exclusive these million
aires are growing.
Duff-"Yes: and such sticklers for pro-
priety! Why, when Mrs. Trillion was
clipping to Europe with young Melton,
her husband telegraphed her not to dis
grace him by going over in liner; he in
sisted on her taking yacht. brooklyn
Life.
At the Celebration-''Wh are all the
important-looking men with broad smiles
and big badges?' That's the reception
committee" And who is the modest
looking fellow. off there in corner:"
"Oh. that's Dewey. '-Philadelp North
American.
Sure Thing" Hastings has realized
$4,000 on an investment OF % cents
Great Scott! What did he buy?' "A
marriage certificate - Philadelphia
North American.