The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-01-24
ROUND A HAT.

seat in every part Of the house was &C.
cupied- every seat, that is, but one.
and that one in the pit. This was all
the more remarkable as this seat looked
a good seat-well up forward, nearly in
the center, quite as advantageous, as
pit people are wont to hypocrize, as ten
and sixpence wasted on a STALL And
yet the seat was, all the same, undenia-
bly, vacant.
1t was not being "kept' either. The
young man on the other side Of 1t al
ready had his young lady with him. l,
on this SIDE did not have young lady
at all, and did not expect one, either.
That seat was neither reserved nor tax
en-. There was mystery about it-a
mystery was acquainted with, mys-
terry you will get to know. too, If you
have the courage to go on.
You may be curious why did not
move up into this excellently good seat.
There is another mystery in the matter,
and, just as in the case where two mega
tives, we are enormously assured, con-
stitute positive affirmative, SO these
two mysteries, being explained, annul
one another. As matter of fact, / had
moved into that seat on entering and
then had hastily moved back again,
while / had the chance, for immediate
ly in front was a stylish young lady
what is generally catalogued smart
girl--young, good looking, very nice,
in the height of fashion, and-need l
say it-with hat.
There you have it-not the hat, which
is probably in the same possession I'M
less, of course, the fashions have again
changed, as is to be expected, consider
ing the incident took place nearly a
week ago-not the hat, but the elucida-
ton; for the luckless individual who
paid to come in and took up his station,
sitting down, behind that hat would
have absolutely no return for his money
but gratuitous and highly exasperat-
ing view of ribbons and dead birds that
Regent street glorifes into a "crea-
ton. -
We knew, you know. We had tried
it, 1 the first and the quickest and then
the other men, who, wandering in late
and thanking their lucky stars for their
great, good fortune bounced into that
seat with wide smile on their faces,
remained perplexed and fidgety for sew
eral minutes, frowned and coughed and
shuffied their feet where the floor
sounded loudest and then finally depart
ed somewhere into the back with mar
ticulate mutterings and much painfully
suppressed emotion.
An old gentleman at the back of me
who evidently made habit of misan-
thropy and allowed none of his fellow
creatures sadness to pass without
proper merriment, was spending a
most enjoyable evening in consequence.
The world to him was good deal more
than stage, and he would certainly
have been content to wait all night for
the rising of the curtain, provided the
fun in front went on SO uninterrupted
ly. When somebody from the rear made
move for this seat, his face beamed
with the gratitude of thanksgiving AS
the somebody sat down there he seemed
to let off a profound chuckle. When the
somebody faced the hat and fidgeted,
his sides shook and his double chin
trembled. did not approve of this
gloating, and as often as possible with
out creating conversational friction ]
leaned back suddenly and let one of my
shoulders fall on to his nose. That gave
him pause and breathing time, but he
used it only to get ready to enjoy the
next victim.
Just as the lights went down and the
curtain went up young man, the
youngest of them all up to now, pushed
his way in from the side and tumbled
into that open trap, piously took off his
silk ''tile'' and put it under the seat,
punched himself up into that prepon-
derant attitude that is necessary for
proper receptiveness, peered eagerly
forward and saw beautifully the
blackness Of the lady's hat Then en-
sued the usual pantomimic demonstra-
ton of foiled expectation-coughs and
discomforting, because very sincere,
growls. The old gentleman at the rear
seemed to be in danger of bursting a
blood vessel, and the breaths of his en-
joyment came into the nape of my neck
warm and frequent and vigorous.
What was most remarkable, however,
was that this young man did not aban-
don the position, like his predecessors,
but held on and stuck there in forlorn
hope, rousing himself at intervals to
pivot round on his vertebral column
and describe most alarming contortions
in rash attempts to get his head, and
more particularly his eyes, into some
nook or crevice where the stage was not
completely effaced, then sinking down
in failure and despair and collapsing
into unwilling resignation, tempered
by ebullitions of muffled groans, and
the old gentleman behind was culver
ing with commissions of joy, so that 1
fell back on him again and did him
more personal injury without, how
ever, much damping his ecstatic rap
ture.
The girl on the right of us here
caused some diversion, ana even ap-
plause, by removing her hat at her
young mans suggestion My unfortu-
nate neighbor seized the opportunity to
open up some hints of his own in the
guise of dialogue with me.
THAT girl sir" he declared i'm
pressively, "that girl is worth he1
weight in gold.
Eyes" contented myself with an
swering. my attention on the play. The
young lady in the front wriggled.
1.-THE man who marries her, con
tinued the sufferer, with the courage
of despair, "marries pearl-a pearl,
sir, above all pricel''
"Ah2" I queried absentmindedly,
pigheadedly, combining my interest tc
the stage. The young lady in front
huffed herself.
"She has had the intelligence, sir,
the intelligence and good breeding, tc
take her hat off. .
This time he had made false move,
had gone too far. The young lady in
front squared her shoulders and settled
down more grimly than ever. The
young man saw the game was up and
fell to groaning again. The old gentle
man behind was certainly saving him.
self stroke of apoplexy.
This last indecent exhibition of sell
indulgence on the old cynic's part
aroused my indignation and my sympa
thy. 1t was moral and edifying play
and we were now coming to the mos
instructive part, which l did not want
the young man to miss. joined forces
to help him and brought my Maxims
up at trot.
''She has more than all that, I" re
piled, carrying on the conversation
where he left it off; ''much more
Have you not noticed her beautiful
golden hair, Of the color of sunshine
and fineness of sikh"