New-York tribune., 1899-01-16
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Sergeant Channell who In the habit OF drop
ming his hs and Sir Frederic Thesger were once
trying a case about ship called the Helen. Every
time the former mentioned the vessel he cailed ~
the Ellen Every time the other counsel mentioned
her they called her the Helen. AT last the Judge.
with a quaint gravity, said: Stop "a fayorite
word of his) "Stop. What was the name OF the
shin? I have It on my notes the Ellen and the
Helen Which Is IT." And the Bar grinned
"Oh nv lud," said Thesiger In his blandest ana
most fastidous manner. 1.-THE ship was ohristened
the Helen but she lost her h In the chops or the
Channell."
The announcement OF Clement Scots retirement ,nt
niSnnt In hls varied career which took place about
eight years ago. At that time young Aner'sn snS
PLAYWRIGHT H. J. w. Dam, had Just WriIue,,, aHu af
produced in London play, THE silver sheif Mr; Nj,
Scott erudite criticism ana seno & ~ 70 ham sro
Uenad has never been ascertained. but the mex.
morning The he TgefaR n srn'SSd SSd been Produced
etc (Musical American.
The washington correspondent Of The chicago
Record" SAYS: "senor Don Alexandra Wos Gil
Charge d'Anaires Of the Dominican Repuphc. VINO
has recently come to Washington. Is having no
end of trouble with his name. when lie Is an
rounced bv an American butler or introduced oy
an American citizen he gives his name as ui'
which In his native tongue tSpanish) SOUNDS ike
mn He is therefore called Mr.. Hill wherever ne
goes and he rebels. He thinks there are 700 many
Hills in America already, and threatens 10 'ahe
one Of his Christian names, when desishale MS
foreign birth at least II not his real personality as
a diplomat.
Whats the matter my good wS%an derp anxiety
and he held out kindly hsRd yaied as ne h
the study where sa MRS ss hTogS he % as
kissed the ring upon his finger, MS me mon egih
III NJ nd What "a mas Your man been doingg the priest
asked "ie hasn't beaten you, has he? ,,,.
woman rspeS ro sa:"T but he's gon to new
iay{s.%r ,n,, ons,t 10 make YOU happy. and here
'"Yis but father you don't know I, ALL Whip p :.
fEsr fSsres mf h@ @0 Avis is own o o have wid him He
and and thin there's the he has whn he turns It
back agln He's shtarred on the preeuhih,slattS ~
kayne him from turrnn' the layfe itll be
anither wan In wayke or TWO VI IL nave u put w
wid."-(Cleveland Leader
| A Louisiana man in washington says; In some
parts OF the South tho cotton planters have iett
lot of their crop unpicked IN the helos Inc reason
for this Is that the farmers are In DEBT, ana the
nrice of cotton is so low that after gathering II
there would not be money enough realized from us
sale 10 square up accounts with the merchants WHO
advanced the supplies 10 the countrymen. rms Is
a sad condition Of affairs. but It Is inevitable. The
remedy lies in curtang the acreage devoted to the
culture OF cotton, for as long as the South goes
! on producing enormous crops of the feecy staple
so long will the price be kept down TO the present
runous figures
HarIow-what rattlebrain Tbble is. II he has
TO answer for every idle word he utters in this life
| he n be kent busy enough In the next
Barton--Thats just his lay. The more Idle words
he utters here the Longer he VIII nave the moor
over there It's publicity he's after; that's all
H3oston Transcript
A Maine paper says that when Speaker Reed was
making a political speech in a certain Maine town
during the last campaign strong Democrat sat
! I'm one OF the front benches. and was continually
| interrupting his speech. Every time this Democrat
! asked a question M Reed stopped and courteously
! answered his question. but at last the Democrat
Interrupted by saying:
"Oh! go TO H."
Mr. Reed without a moments thought said that
| no had travelled through many parts OF the coun
| try and had always been most courteousy re-
ceved everywhere, but that this was the first time
! he had ever been invited to the Democratic head
quarters.
| case was being tried in court and the par
ticular question Issue the number Of person;
| present when certain event occurred An honcs
| but simple minded German was In the witness-box
he had never taken oath before. and was no
| a little Disconnected The lawyer who conducte'
badgered him with questions after the manner o
| his kind. .
How, many dd you say there were present ,n h, h,
though the fate OF empires tremhed In the balance
yell" meeky answered the witness, "of course
| gould not chust say, but | dinks derc vas betveeT
Tell the Jury what YOU mean by thatv' roare'
the lawyer. How could there be between six an'
"Ven." answered the witness, maybe | val
wrong. There more SIX. but dere vas not -
much as sefcn. One vas a fiery leetle boy."-(Greei