The Union times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1894-1918, 1899-06-23
Mr.. EpIzOOT WILKINS.

g Bein Rcoined III tt:c rTasta.''
APPLEJAcK FARM wIcH IL NEXT TU GROVER
CLEvELANp's, IN TUE srAlT w Moo GER
Sly. ,s-
Tu tho Editur:
hev bin in1ooenccd tn temporarily re-
7oom domcstick rclashuns with mi family
here bi the infermasbun sent tu mo wilc
wuz ava thct Marian. the cumpanyun nv
mi better dazc, wuz gittin her mind in
famed on account NV mi prolonged alb
Benco frum homo and wuz thrcatonin tn
git divorce on tho ground thct he'd de-
serted her. So fer cz her wurk wu1 con-
serned, don't suppose-it wood hev made
much difference tn her, fer 1 am ablo tn
cndoor u good deel nv rcposo and am op-
posed on general prlnsiples tn mans
robbin his wifc NV her rite tn laber Jest
mt this time, however, wen mi name wuz
bein horaldid around the kountry cz u har-
bingcr NV Dimicratic harmony, it wood
not slu tn bo known ez u fomcntcr NV do
mcstick discord, so l camo hither cs q
peace commissioner tn mi own household
tn patch up n trooce with Mariar and nc
goshiato fer u ccssashun NV hostilitiz upon
her part upon the best terms 1 Good git.
Our first mcetin tn consider the subjec!l
RESULTED i'm e violent outbrake upon her
part, wharcin sho rcproacht mo fer 1eevin
her tn rasslc with washtub all the time
and komplaned NV how much it cost her
tu buy gruband cloZc fer the family.
/ instantly saw an opportoonity to givo
her an objcck lessun in politikal ckonomS
and Fscd, Marian, wimmin don't untcr-
stand whut causes sich things ez risin
prices and fallin markets, tho laws NV
suppl and demand the rclashuns NV labor
and kapitar and''-h
"Dont talk tn me nonc NV yer hifa-
lootin foolishpcss," scd sho in viluut
passhun. II don't want tn hecr It, All
want tu kno IL thet you run off gall.
vantin around the kountry soakin up rum
and left me tn du the wllr!l and talk caro-
NV miself and the children and spend all
the mummy 1 earned tn support US"
"That's it cgzact,y,'' sed I. 1--WE air
bein rooined hi tho trusts. Mariar Moo
Gerscy hcz laitly bocGn the hotbcd NV
these ,gigantick and unconstitooshunal
combinashuns1w kapital wich krlsh out
oil kompetishun and will eyentocally de-
privo us NV our liberties These soulless
corporashuns, run hi onprinsipled mil
lyunarcs and sugar kings and coal barons
and Standard He monopolists, air opprcs-
sin tho people, and tho croocl tyrants-uy
SIGH conmcrshal dcsputism air oppressn
us and grindin us under their heels, vile
thu grow rich bi churgin us cXtravagant
and cxtorshunatc prices fer everything we
eat, drink and ware. Marian, VIC must
arizo in onr mite and go fourth tn battle
agin these desppilcrs NV our homes and
shake off the octopus that il squcczin US
tn death and oatin tho llfo out NV our
vitals."
"You talk like u durnctt olc fool" sed
Marian, interruptin mi eloquent remarks.
II hain't seen no octopuscs around here,
and don't bcleev tharc IL emmy, and ez
fer prices, tina cir lower than ever. Won
we goto n1Qrricd kcrosoen lie wuz 75 cents
q gallon. Novel kin hi it fer TO- Sugar
wuz twict czs hi sez it IL now. and flour
wuz wpth $40 or SIC barrl Childron's
clozo he'd tn .meik, aud tha cost moren
dubblo whut tha tlu now reddy made.
don't kno Eothin about yer trusts nor hoo
runs 'cm. / only kro thct things air
chccper'n tha used tn be won yure frcnd
Grover wuZ president, nrd most every
buddy round here he'd nothin tn du hoo
depended upon their tradcs'fcr livin."
Marian, "sed 7, 'how Kin yu be so
hnrtless, and so stoopidiy indifferent wen
we arc bcein rooined without l;noIT!n It?
These monstrous trusts NV which L hev
alreddy, Spoken. air tho ku9s Nv our noble
stait. Yha mir bringin rcproach ontu us
bi thcir:hi handed and unlawful proceed.
tns, ands tina often du it in sich an insidu-
. yus wa thct we don't kno n0thin about it
ontil tho graspin monopolics hev got us
intu their klutchcs Alrcddy tha hev pado
about n .millyun dollars fer the excloosiv
privilij NV robhin u.s.
"Wcll, If this hey pade n millyun dol
lars into tho treasury NV Moo Gerscy wo
air thct much ahed, amt twe?" sed Marian.
Perhaps ave air, scd /, frum mum
ny pint tiN Nue, but think NV the moral
effeckt tthyill hey and whut n disgrace it
Will be tQta .Gerseyman tn think thet he
RQndoncd sich plunderin NV tho people fer
tho saik IVA pa!try millyun dollars
he'd hoped thot this appel tu Mariar's
stait pride wood be conclusive argoo-
ment in mi fayu-, but it only served tu
stir up tho Republikin blud in her vanes
and she lanched fourth in a tirade NV low
partisan abuse.
Don't say nothin tn mo about tho
moral effeckt NV ennything," scd she,
"nfter yu hey fcryeers supported the gang
NV Dimicratic gamblers and hoss racers
thct run the stait NV Moo Gcrsey ontil
: ehcir own party he'd tn vote the Repub-
Hkin tickit tn git rid riv 'om. Yu Dimi.
Gratis hcv Jined hands with the Tammany
beelcrs NV Moo York and the anarchist
thugs nv Chicago, jest cz yu did with the
Copperheds md Knights of the Golden
Circle doorin tho sivil war 1 rcpeet it,
Epizoot Wilkins, yp he'd better not cum
around here blathcrin about yer high
moral idees ez fracticcd hi sch Dimicrats
ez yu and yer applejack soakin crowd In
Sstid NV botherin yer old he'd about trusts,
thet yc don't no nothin about, yu he'd bet
ter git out intu the field and tri tu mock
sum fodder out NV the sand fer yer family
tu1 live upon. lam tired nv standin up
tn ornament a washtub tu help support
yu in yer laziness.
Never befoar he'd / seen Marian so on.
sSyrng and toomultnous, and MI thare
must be sum unyooshal recon fer it,
Later on found .thct our Republican
postmaster he'd bin givin her pints to ar
goo'agin me and he'd filed her up with
1dees predjoodishal tn our glorius party.
Thet LIZ whut Mr.. CleYnlanl. md both