New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-03-17
TIE TALK or THE DAY.

THE New-York Evangelist" says: THE Deputy
Superintendent Of Public Instruction In Porto
Rico Victor Selden Clark. has written to Mr..
Hooper the superintendent Of the Brooklyn Tnsti-
tute. asking for its catalogue and prospectuses OF
lectures for the present year with idea Of or
ganizing an institute somewhat similar lines In
Porto Rico. We learn that an American library is
to be established at San Juan. from which books
will he distributed over the island on the plan OF
the New York State Library. There Is also to
be a reading room for citizens and soldiers in San
Juan and all books and periodicals will be CRATE
fully received They can be sent to General Guy
V. Henry or General Eaton. OF Colonel A. S.
Kimball. quartermaster New-York city, who Will
see that they are forwarded free Government
transports"
Politics and Jewelry.-vassar Freshie-Don't you
think Governor Roosevelts just simply horrd?
Freshie--They say he's given orders to smash all
the rings. and ] haven't had mine a MONTH
Jewellers Weekly.
"A well-known professional man." says THE
Philadelphia Record" who Is noted among his
friends for his abscnt-m indedness. thought he had
reached the height of absurdity when he was
forced to ask his wife his first name a short time
ago in order to answer properly question asked
by the assessor of his district. His memory, how
ever played him an even trick the other
day and the Joke good that he told IL on
himself. He writing a letter in the posofiice
corridor one evening, when seedy-looklng person
came up with hard-luck story. The writer
paused long enough TO tell the beggar that he had
nothing for him. and requested him to go away.
The fellow persisted and again poured forth his
wofu story. Waterman finally chased the
beggar away. and the absent minded writer started
to read what he had written Great was his sur
prise when he found that ne had transcribed word
for word part OF the hard-iuck tale that had been
poured into his unwilling ears.
I'VE Ike the idea OF sImpllhed spelling" says the
editor of The Perkins Junction Palladium. nut
we don't think We could ever become used to writ.
Ing TILE wakt down the lie. leeyIne the trax OF
his larj and muddee shuze on the fore. The marx
are vizzibl yet "-(Chicago Tribune.
Not long ago PIttsburg life insurance agent
persuaded n Chnaman to take out a policy Of
5000. The latter had clear idea OF the trans
action. but understood that paying the pre-
mlums promptly he would be entitled TO 5000 some
time He began bothering the agent for the money
after a couple of weeks had passed. and the agent
tried to explain to him that he would have to die
before no could get It, The Chinaman fell down
n cellarway on Grant-st.. and was badly hurt His
friends tried to attend to him without calling in
a doctor. When they did call in days
later the doctor was angry. why didn't you
call me sooner" ne asked This man is half
dead now" Next day the injured mans brother
was at the insurance office with claim for $500.
You're not entitled TO anything on this" said the
insurance agent until the man is dead" "Doctol
say him half-dled," answered the brother. why
he glet lat haf?'
DO you think Brery is as much OF bicycle
enthusiast ever?
ION, no; he has recovered. l heard him say
tho other day that nc didn't propose TO let any
of che dealers impose upon him BY selling him
good ncw."-(Chcago News.
In his "Corean Sketches" Mr. Gale tells this
story Of n Chinese battle: Most of those who
after the battle came to the dspensary in Mukden
for treatment were wounded in the back How IS
II that OF the gods wounded In the after
parts only? asked the foreigner 4, looks II
they had run from the barbarans' we advanced
III right said the Chlnaman. according to mill
tary methods. Then put fierce faces. like
Che-ka- Yang the God of War. certain that tho
Wo-Jen would run. they would have done II
they had not been hopeless savages unacquanted
Nth Chinese characters We rushed on them
breathing forth fire. but they moved not. Then
our General shouted Victory for we had para
lyzed them with our holiness. But suddenly
long OF guns raised Ike arm. and.
immortal godsl such dastardly way to night
never saw! know not why were wounded in
the back "
Professor 90 his wife provoked)-I never know
how To- take you. Amelia. Two years ago you
crazy for that hat and now I've bought il
for you YOU don't like IL at all!tFliegende Bitter
THE Fargo IN. d. Csu' says. "A member of
the divorce colony came down Broadway on Satur-
day afternoon, and. turning the corner OF ~ p
are. caugh' sight of tho flames from the gas
escaping from tho ground at the point OF the
broken gas main What says the member OF
the colony. he'll upon earth. and right here in
Fargo-and I've got thirty days to serve yet"
have one OF those perfectly delicious prayer-rugs
rom the East but somehow, when papa comes
indianapolis Journal