The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-10-21
Lightning Rod Man
in Philadelphia

Philadelphia, Pa, Oct. 20, 1899.
Ny Deer Mr.. Editur.
came 2 this sitty xibit sum lit
ming rods at the industrial Xibishun |
& expected 2 rite the affare up but l |
coodn't cum eny understanding with |
the kommltti, there think lie rite a |
history ov Phila. & let it 90 at that.
Philadelphia waz diskoverd long be |
Columbus emigratid this country,
tho II heed cum back agen he wood
undoubtedly note sum markt changes.
instants the City Hall, witch at the
time ov hiz arrival waz just startid,
IL now neerly IL not quite kompleetid.
William Pen bawt the state ov Pen
silvania 4 song. Historiens disagree
az the song used az a perswader, tho
believe the konsensus ov opinyuns
! at preseRt IL that MY Land! Amt
! Sum Folks Eazy?" waz the / used
| This song waz very popular in those
! daze & az the title liz apropo II IL onley
| meat that we shood konsider IL the |
| that won the Indians hart e. the CRATE
! state ov PENNSYLVANIA. l hav calld IL
| the crate state ov PENNSYLVANIA at
that time 1t waz bownded on the east
by the Atlantick Oshen. on the west
by the Pasiflck, on the north by Can
ada & the sowth by the Gulf of Mexi-
ko.
1t liz onley justis 2 Mr.. Pen 2 state
that at the time ov the purchis he
had never herd ov the Philippians or
the Hawayan Hands or It IL safe as
SOON that thay wood hav bin mcleod
ed, even IL he had repeet the corus
after the last verse.
Sum riters claim that Pen waz a
Jew, tho I imagin there idea waz 2 be
faseshus rather than troothful. I
deny this false assershun 2 good rea-
IONS, witch l believe hav never be
bin advanct, viz: 1st, had he bin a
Jew he wood hav held on hiz land &,
wood day have bin welthy man,
wheraz every we'll informed man noze
that this liz not the case. end, he waz
a Quaker. I sinsearly hope this will
settel the dispute ever
1t waz Mr.. PENS act ov separating
the land frum the Indeans, in the
manner he did, with no bloodshed that
cawsd the potts ov the day 2 sing so
! bewtfully & so aptly, "Musick hath
charms 2 sooth the savidge," awlsO,
'The Pen IL mightler than the sord."
The next noted rezdent OF Philly
waz Benjamin Franklin. He reecht
the sitty l morning carrying a loaf ov
bred under each arm & eating a 3rd.
. Eny unbiast reeder who haz ever
tride the abuv trick will agree with
me when I say it takes a man ov
ability perform the deed.
Sutch a man waz b. Franklin. Az
he sawnterd leshurly down a serten
street (the name ov witch iz withheld
reeZons best known the riter) the
even tenner ov hiz way waz suddenly
: interrupted by a shrill. childish &
sarkastick chuckle that dissipated the
stiffness ov the hither 2 quiet & luvly
morning Ben waz stung 2 the quick
q say Ben" after do thawt, at that
time Mr.. F. waz but a boy. There
I hope the reeder will not think me
disrespecktfull)
Ben dismounted frum hiz chaneless
! velOspeed, turnd rownd e. saw that
the awther ov the sarkastick chuckle
waz bewtiful yung girl in the act ov
polishing the white marbel steps In
, front ov her parents domisile with
oxalick asid. She appeerd be tend
ing strcktly . her ockupashun, but
Ben, who waz very acute a boy ov
= hz yeers, fancied he Good trace faint
!, smile witch seamd linger on her fare
= yung face. Subsequent events, ov
= witch I will speak anon, prove that
> hiz surmize waz substantially kor-
. rect
;. Ben had bin given what now daze
:. wood be termd "the laff" or merry
:, ha, ha." Tho Ben waz onley a boy
= he waz mutch ov a man fite with
q lady. SO with crate 40 tude, after
he had markt the number ov the house
.. in hiz minds eye, so speek, he swal-
=, lode hiz rath, together with a peace
: ov bred he had in hiz mouth at the
: time, mownted hiz silent steed & kon.
9, tinude on hiz weary way with revenge
II in his hart.
a Ben waz a printer by trade; other.
~ wize he waz a nice fellow.
a The boy, who had now groan b.
: a yung man. 'waz posest ov keen 4 stc
II & believing in the Ultimate growth ov
q Philly, traded hiz remaining loaves o,
n bred a printing offs, witch proove
# that w. Pen waz not the onley earl!
n rezident who waz clever at swapping
a Benjamin Che liz now a yung man
If startid a paper calld the Pensilvanii
70 Gazette. Hiz paper shood not. threv
10 the similarity ov names, be konfounde,
with the Police Gazette. Benjamin
paper kontained very littel matter o.
intrest 2 policemen. hiz paper bein
devoted almost entirely inferma
n shun-sumthing policemen genral
s. avoid. Tho Benjamins paper IL sum
E. what dlsfigured, metaforickally speel
., o. ing, it IL still in the ring un Ter an
- other name. Mr. Franklin IL, how
r, ever, no longer konneckted with thl
ri paper, having gone out ov the pub
y, fishing bizness sumtime sints.
s. 1t waz abowt this time that NJ
~ Fraklin (now groan ? mans estate
- married the yung lady who ha
ar chuckled at him az he enterd Phil!
Sum peepil hav sed that Mr.. F. MAJ
re ried the yung lady 4 spite, but az h
ch waz a hole soledI awl rownd good fe
, low, there iz probably no truth in tn
u assershun.
- 1t waz hiz wont take ockashuni
trips 2 England & appear be Il
er King, who sprinkled at that time,
hiz gawf SCOT. (This IL an intende
r. COAX, az the King at that time ca
hardly be accuzed ov raining)
: The ladys & gents in waiting wei
grately shockt, ditto the King, but 6
p. F. waz sum punkius" in hiz cour
try thay past it off az xsentricity.
reality he waz joshlng the populac'
1t waz hiz weigh.
Mr.. Franklin waz awlso the diskoN
erer ov the fackt that the cheef IL
gredient ov litning waz elecktrlcit
There IL on Xhibishun at 1 ov u
museums in Philadelphia day bott
ov 'elecktricity put up Expressly XII