The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1899-11-24


II hope I'm not getting TO be q pessi-
mist medirated the Bachelor Girl, says
Dorothy Maddox in the philadelphia M
onirar ..Do / look as though had
grown-well. sort of souredE'
: listener gave a quizzical tilt to her
l~orgnette-
my dear said she, mo woman mas
raa,,v soured on the world until she ne
elects her powder puff. NOW on the isie
side of your nose there's a dab
THANKS responded the Bachelor Girl
whisking her handkerchief across the ut
tie patch of rice powder. = think I'M
derstand. Where there is vanity there Is
hope. and as long as I guard against
frumpishness l may pick flaws in the
world
And not be voted a disappointed spin
ster,'' assured the Listener There's a
growl coming I can see. What particu-
lar feature of boredom has been twist
ing that pretty forehead of yours into
puckers?"
4The collector bore" explained the
bachelor Girl. 1.-The man or woman, pul
especially the woman
s.somehow the men bores are never as
bad as the women reflected the LIS
tener.
..well. that's true. Men aren't such
petty detailists as women. If they ride
a hobby at all it is usually sure to pc a
thoroughbred. But women take up with
namby-pamby fads and they want 10
poke them under your nose all the time.
When a woman gets the collecting 1ever
she's an out and out plague 70 her
friends. She has no mercy upon them.
1t doesn't matter how little interest," tne
outsider may fell in her specially. she
talks it, she exhibits it, she runs IL INTO
every living soul that crosses ner tnresn-
old.
sand If YOU are not even an amateur
but a through and through ignoramus IN
that particular line she can manage to
make you feel as senseiess as a sa"oust
doll.
II had a regular attack of chiAs ana
fever in the presence Of a CHINA coileceor
the other day. Hadn't been calling on ner
sixty seconds before she lea me out IKE q
lamb to the slaughter to see her min
shelves.
Snow I'VE never had any time, any
money or any taste for china collecting
consequently I was as ignorant as a street
aamin of the value and rarity of that col
lection
aPretty pieces Of ware I could enthusc
over, but that isn't what the china col
tor wants She wants YOU to dote on the
glaze and the mark'-zto spot an antique
in a twinkling n to gnash your teeth
with envy over her possession OF price
less bit
~of course I couldn't do that so I just
stared about confusedly, admired the
wrong things and got generally ratified.
some of the situations were simply
nerve racking. For instance my hostess
would lift down a cracked and SCARED old
piece of pottery, run her fingers lovingly
across IT, pass it over 10 ms and ask,
There isn't that a beautiful specimen?
No mastaking that is there?'
..Then I would think feverishly, 'Speci-
men of what, specimen of what What
kind Of ware is it anyware and try and
sneak a look at the mark on the back to
get my bearings.
sWhen that didt work I had to fash
a look ofnsilent ecstasy across my face
But you can't show dumb ecstasy over an
entire china collection and it was when
talked that I made a fool Of myself.
ssOnce my hostess conffded with great
glee thai she had her eye ON a Castle Gar
den cheese plate down at a certain auc-
ton room, and h appealed to me to
know If I thought fifteen dollars would be
too much for the relic.
Now 1 have always associated Castle
Garden with immigrants and while I was
trying to piece out the connection be-
tween an Immigrant and a cheese plate I
felt an expression OF utter and hopeless
fdioov satfFnr itnoa my face
my hostess saw it, too. for she sudden
" turned away from the china shelves
with a look Of polite pity for my driveling
Ignorance and led the conversation on to
the new style skirts.
1T wasn't until l had made a trip to
that auction room out OF sheer curiosity
was that / found she had i~nsouciantiy re-
ferred to the old blue ware showing the
Landing of Lafayette at Castle Gar
dem,
you poor child said the Listener,
consolingiy, colder heads than yours have
been fustered by the collectors jargon.
Wait until you meet the teapot collector,
who will expect you, even though you
have never seen anything but an old fash
.oned Brown Betty to understand all
the ms ana outs OF TIE orc SUBJECT 10
which she has devoted time and re-
search.
Wait until you meet the rug collector
who takes 1t for granted hat though your
feet nave never trod upon anything but
body Brussels you can single out at a
glance a Shirvan from a Dakhestan.
ssThen the gatherer together of old
prints, books, quaint lamps from many
countries. etc. They are all equally try
ing for their victims from whom they ex-
peet an Intelligent grasp Of the subject"
IF they would only do all the talking,
all the explaining. all the rhapsodizing."
remarked the Bachelor Girl plaintively.
and not keep appealing 10 the outsider
it wouldn't be so bad
"Fcr my part I would rather have first
primer methods used with me and let the
explanation run on in this way-.see the
rare Canton platter. Is the platter old?
The platter is very old
"Not particularly complimentary, per-
haps, but lucid, anyway"
And the smile of sympathy on the Lis
tenerfs face seemed TO smooth out the
FUCKERS from the Bachelor Girls brow.
Not the least curious phenomenon of
this modern London Of ours are the
sninsfers who entertain, says the "Lady's