davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04
A NATURAL ERROR.
hut This Time 1t Was Made by the
wronH Man

But This Time 1t Was Made by the
Wrong Man.
Il had been occupying n certain
room in this house for nearly year"
said n drummer who lives at one of
the hotels, "but the other day they
gave me the apartment adjoining,
which Is trifle larger. Last night l
came in rather late and very much
preoccupied and when l opened the
door was startled TO find Il strange
man, with his feet on the bureau, read
ing paper. 1t flashed across my mind
instantly that l had gone to my old
room by force of habit, and l offered
my apologies as gracefully as | could.
- occupied this room for n long
time / said, and it comes natural to
me to walk right in. I'm very sorry
disturbed YOU
THAT should certainly have been
satisfactory, but the fellow jumped
up with n face as black as thunder.
"'Hold on n bit, he said. 1T strikes
me that's n pretty thin excuse
"'What do you mean. sirY said /,
getting mad myself.
"T mean l don't believe you're
straight he replied, stepping between
me and the door. I've heard of these
kind of tricks before, and l think I'll
just investigate YOU
Its pretty rough to be taken for n
sneak thief in ones own hotel, and 1
lost my head completely.
"I'll slap your jaws" l cried and
made n pass Mt him. but he jumped
back and rang the bell. Then he squar-
ed off n Ia Jeffrles.
"'Come on he said, cool as you
please. The police will be here in n
minute, and you have no time to lose.'
Il was just about to sail in when I
happened to notice for the first time
lot of my toilet articles on the bureau
glared around, and there was all my
luggage in the corner. BY Jove! was
In my own room after all! 1t was tho
other fellow who had made the mis-
take.
1.-THE situation was so absurd that l
roared with laughter, and my late an
tagonist put down his hands and look
cd puzzled. l made II brief explana-
tion, pointed to the number on the
door, and he was the most chagrined
individual in 10 states.
"IIe really belonged across the hall
and had mistaken figure @ In the door
number for an 8 As he took his de-
parture he remarked that he was the
biggest fool on the hemisphere and
said that he would like to engage n
good healthy mule to kick him around
the parish for few days."-New Or
leans Times Democrat.
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04
EnthrnllinR Eyes.

a penny novelette, is never complete
without the heroine inficting grave
torture on her eyes. In the course Of
one complete story" this is what she
did:
She threw her eyes up to the ceiling.
Then she dropped them on the floor.
Again she raised them and again she
lowered them"
She made her eyes flash fire."
''IIer eyes burned"
Her eyes froze"
Her eyes glowered like burning
Goals"
"She cast her eyes to his chest, then
dropped them to the fender"
His eyes crossed hers and greedily
devoured them"
But Mt last her eyes had their re-
venge for we read, Her eyes betray-
ed her."-Tit- Bits.
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04

Leave Lambertvine fer Mauunka Chunk s.ss
1910 m, lS7, q u Saturdays onlyl 5.O7 and s.2s
m. Sunday, s,2S M, For Phillipsburg and
Easton only 62S p M weekdays.
Leave Frenchtown 905, 10,47 m, 90, $50 and
$40 p m weekdays, s,49 p m Sundays, For Phil
lipsburg and Easton only 7.02 M.
Arrive at Phillipsburg 40 aud II % a. M, 242
cess Saturdays only), 55s, 1856 and go p. M Sun
day 9.20 p. IN.
(SO2 Saturdays only) Goa aud 925 pm. Sun
day 9.25 IN.
Arrive Belydere 7.5s 1922 and 1883 m, sis
6S2, 9.5l p m. Sunday, 9.5l pm.
Arrive Manunka Chunk sos, 10. 80 and II SO a M
S.2o g s5 Saturdays only) 6.Ss and 95s m. Sun
day, 9.5s p M.
Additional trains leave Belyidere for Manunka
Chunk 100 and $50 m, and 220 IN. sunday.
200 m. Returning leave Manunka Chunk for
Belyidere s.25, lO4s m, 420 $40 and 1000 p m.
Sunday, 1000 m.
Freight or mixed trains leaving Manunka
Chunk at 600 m, Beiyidere 6.l5 a m, Martins
Creek 6.S5 m, arriving Lehigh Junction 6.5S m,
y WIN carry passengers and make stops at flag sta
tions north of Phllipsburg.
Passengers for Broad Street Station, Philadel-
phia, by trains leaving Manunka Chunk 722 a IN
9ally dy ,s,l5 Mondays oniy9 1927, $40 p M week
days, and leaving Phillipsburg SEQ m daily
lslo Mondays onlyl LOO and 5.55 m week
days go through without change at Tren-
ton; through car for Manunka Chunk is at
taehed to trains leaving Broad Street Station at
o;u9 geo IN, 1900 noon, L. 0S and SO, p M. BY
Al other trains passengers to or from Broad st.
station change cars at Trenton.
Connection is made at ManunkA Chunk with
Delaware, Lackswanna 4 Western Railroad -
high Junction with Lehigh Valley ,Lshigh a SUE
saehAnna Morris d Essex, and New ersey Cantra
Railroads. At Lambertville With Flemin gtou RaR
York, Camden, &c.
forfurther nformation see time-tablos vhica
can b obtained at the tioke ofzees
J. K. WOOD,
,,.,- General Passenger Agent.
General Manager
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04
A BRIGHT IDEA.
Hut Weary's Pnrd Found Fatal
Flaw In the scheme.

Hut Weary's Pnrd Found Fatal
Flaw In the scheme.
Pete" exclaimed Mcandcrlng Mike,
"I'm glttIn res'less!"
Don't do II. Take tlnSs easy while
ye kin"
Ever since dropped into dat lee.
ture hall last winter TO git warm I've
had somet'ln on me mind, an l can't
cit 1t loose. 1t Ianliles in me con
science an overhelms me wit rc'liz-
In sense Of de resistcssncss of fate.
Dis llfe amt nottin but one hard luck
story any way you take 1t. But n man
of brains kin sometimes git de best of
de situation"
"Dat lecture mus of sunk into yer
system deep"
at did. But Eve got II scheme datll
help out DE mex time we takes Il
frciaht train We'll take one goin
east"
"What furF
Did you ever hear of velocityY
Sure Dey's got Tree wheels, an de
kinehens tries to run over you wit
EN-"
Oats close to, but not next Ncloc-
ity Is what de world moves wit. It's
SO many miles n second. We're goin 1t
all de time, shown from west To east,
nn when you thinks ye're rcstin It's on
ly another dcluslou nn n snare. Ye
can't stop movin."
Well" asked Flooding Pete, dseon-
tentedly, "what'ro you going to do
about it?'
'Jes' what | told ye. De worlds
movn from west to east. DE only
chance to ncutralIze de swlftncss Is to
take n train goin from cnst to west. |
dunno as we kin hope fur any actual
reposc but It's de only chance see
fur comm anywheres near It,"
ITS IA bright idea. but 1t won't do"
"Why notY
at only works one way. We can't
keep on ridh west fureVcr. An tinli
of dc double eNcrtion when we have
to turn aroun an come dc other way!
Washington Star.
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04
WHAT THE SHOPPER SAW.

Net robes and allovers patterned
tastefully with large paillettes in cui-
rass designs.
White ostrich feather boas, in which
mink tails of the softest variety are
intermingled as reliefs.
Mousselines de sole and plisse chif-
fons In shades OF cornhower blue,
mauve and automobile red.
Beautiful grenadines for winter even
Ing wear, on which antique designs are
wrought with tinsel or silver traceries.
Velvet stock collars showing APP
pllques of steel beads, from which a
pretty fringe depends over chiffon
front.
Bodice garnitures composed of jet
with pendant fringes, in which vari-
ously shaded jewels are tastefully in
terspersed.
Large picture hats ornamented with
some tissue material, long ostrich
plumes, jet ornaments of various de-
signs and tulle strings.-Dry Goods
Economist.
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04
BACKSlIDlNG INDIANS.
Attempts to Convert
Them In Early Times.


In report to the classis of Amster-
dam on the state Of religion in the New
Netherlands in 1857, Rev. Johannes
Megapolensis and Rev. Samuel Drisins
made the following somewhat discouN
aging statement in regard to the ef-
forts to convert the Indians. 1t will
be noted that the conclusions arrived
Mt by the reverend gentlemen in the
first sentence of the extract were In
the nature of n prediction which has
been completely fulfilled:
"Of the conversion OF the heathens,
or Indians, here. we can say but little.
nor do we see any means thereunto
until by the numbers and power of our
nation they are sgbdued and brought
under some policy and our people show
them n better example tEan they have
hitherto done.
1--WE have had one indian here with
us full two years. so that he could read
and write good Dutch. We instructed
him In the grounds of religion. He also
answered publicly In the church and
repeated the prayers. We likewise pre-
sented him with Bible in order to
work through him some good among
the Indians. But Il all resulted In moth
ing He has taken to drinking of bran
dy. He pawned the Bible and became
n real beast, who is doing more harm
than good among the Indians."-Al
bany Argus.
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04
STAGE GUtNTS,

Andy Mackay is filling time for
Natural Gas" with Eddie Girard as
the star.
George Richards and Eugene Can
field will reappear again this season in
'The Temperance Town"
1t is announced that Robert Edeson
will soon retire permanently from the
stage in order to engage in business in
Porto Rico.
Pauline Moran, the really clever bur-
lesque and variety show performer,
has made n hit with her act at the Al
hambra, London.
Edward Irenaeus Stevenson is to
lecture in London on THE Relation of
Music to the Dramatic In History. Fic-
tion and the Literary Theater."
Lee Harrison, Jeanette Bageard.
Carrie Elberts, Edith st. Clair Georgia
Caine and Peter Curley will be the
cast Of the Rogers Bros new play.
Willie Edouin will appear in 'Flora-
DORA" the new musical comedy by
Owen Hall and Leslie Stuart to be
produced at the Lyric theater. London.
on Oct. %.
Theodore Spierlng announces his
withdrawal from the music school
with which he has been identified for
the last year and also states that his
assistants, Otto Roehrborn and Will
liam Diestel, as we'll as the 'cellst Her
man Diestel, will retire with him from
the institution.
Robert Downing. who recently enter
ed the realm of vaudeville, is quoted
as declaring that he has decided TO
turn comedian. Il have up my sleeve"
he says, "a plain pastoral play of life
in Indiana which, while it is mostly
comedy, rises to some intense IL quiet
climaxes. and to that | will pin my
principal hopes for next season"
In Sag Harbor Folk" James A.
Herne will present on the stage as
truthful and artistic n dramatic pic
ture of the shoremen of Long Island
as he did of farm and seaside life in
Maine in "Shore Acres" All the scenes
will be laid in the picturesque little
town of Sag Harbor, and for every
character he has selected an original
from among the quaint people of this
once driving whaling port
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04
A urn,c Little ucroi,c

Among the stories told by certain
aged physicians at "A reunion of medl.
cal men of the times when surgical op-
cratlons We're conducted without an
aesthetics none was more touching
than the following;
little girl, not more than 3 years
old, was injured in such II way that 1t
was necessary 10 amputatc one of her
legs She proved to be of wonderful
pluck, and Instead of binding her, NJ
was customary In such cases. she was
give her most cherished doll to hold.
Pressing il in her arms. she submitted
to the amputatiop VNhout single cry.
When it VAS done. the physician In
charge, seeking to brighten matters up
with II pleasantly, said, And now. my
dear, we viii amputatc your dolls leg"
Then the little girl burst into tears.
mo. no. she gasped between he.
soDs. "You shall not! It would hurs
her to, muchr'
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04

An expert who pridcd himself upon
the smallness OF his writing sent the
president of the French academy n
grain Of wheat on which he had writ
ten 22l words, A Polish poet wrote
all Of llomcr's "lliad" on n piece of
paper which could be rolled up small
enough TO go into nutshell
In the sixteenth century aman named
Mark offered TO Queen Elizabeth gold
chain of 30 links The chain was so
fine II could not be seen unless It was
put on sheet of white paper. 10
prove Its lightness Mark tied It to fly,
which flew away with 1t. The most
curious fact in this matter, which re.
quired so extraordinary facility Of
touch for making this ornament. was
that Mark WAS blacksmith, accus-
toned To all kinds of heavy tools all
day long
\ Spanlard, Joseph Faba, made Il
carriage rs large ny grain of wheat.
Under magnifying glass 1t was pos
sihlc To see the interior fitted up with
seats, every detail being carried out to
perfection Kansas City Journal.
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04
kEENER THAN MANKIND.
Illusions That Deceive Men Have Ne
Eject Upon AnimnIs


IT'S singular fact said man In
the show business, that Illusions ms
we cnll 'em. don't fool animals. I've
seen that proved over and over again.
A few years ago | had what Is known
as the Mystic Maze n the Nashville
exposition. 1t was simply n small room
filed with mirrors, SO arranged that
you seemed to be in narrow corridor,
full of turns. 1t was very puzzling,
and l used to get lost In it myself but
1t never bothered my dog n moment.
He would run through 1t from end to
end Mt full speed and never bump
against n mirror.
Il saw something on the same line
In Frisco not long ago. \ friend of
mine had an Illusion called The
Haunted Swing. You get In what
seems to be an ordinary swing, hung in
the center of n good sized room. tnd the
thing begins to move. 1t goea back
and forth and finally clear over the top
that Is to say, 1t seems to. What
really turns around is the room ITSELF
The swing stands perfectly still. 1t 10
good Illusion, and when the room Is
revolved rapidly there never was
man who could keep his head In the
swing. 1t seems as If he must certain.
ly pitch out, and If the motion Is kept
up he gets deathly sick. But pet cat
belonging to my friend used to lie on
the edge of the seat and never turn a
hair, no matter how fast the thing was
worked.
"The elder Hermann told me that
animals were never deceived by false
table legs, built up with looking glass
es and used in stage tricks. They al
ways passed around on the other side.
I guess they must see better, somehow,
than men."-New Orleans Times-Dem.
ocrat
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04
Chilled Chlnrororn,

According To The Medical Times. iced
chloroforn has been used MS an an.
aesthetic In the Julius hospital at
Wurzburg In over 1900 eases with the
most excellent effect. 1t is said To be
much quicker In lis action than chloro
form administered Mt the ordinary tenn
peraturr and To leave none Of the
nausea and depression which almost
every one who has been under the or.
dlnary anaesthe,ies has experienced
1t is also believed to he much safer
than other preparations Altogether
so much is claimed for II that we sup
pose ii viii soon he tried in the Eng
lish hospitals London Globe.
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04
The Courts Comment.

A Georgia justice of the peace. re-
lates Case and Comment, once took
upon himself to charge jury rs fol-
lows: Gentlemen, this is n case which
has been tried by me before, and l de-
cided In favor of the defendant" AS
the jury took the hint and found for
the defendant. just as the justice had
done before, although the evidence was
overwhelmingly In favor of the plain
tiff, the higher court refused to let the
verdict stand. 1t also commented as
follows:
"a Justice of the peace Is generally
q man of consequence in his neighboIs
hood. He writes the wills, draws the
deeds and pulls the teeth of the peo-
pie; also he performs divers surgical
operations on the animals of his neigh
bors. The Justice has played his part
on the busy stage of life from the time
of Mr.. Justice Shallow down to the
time OF Mr.. Justice higgins. Who has
not seen the gaping, listening crowd
assembled around his honor, the JUS
tice. on tiptoe to catch the words of
wisdom as they fell from his yenerated
lips?
"And still they gazed.
And still the wonder grew
That one small head
Could carry all he knew"
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04
THE TROTTlNG CIRCUIT.

Joe Patchen is simply unbeatable on
n half mile track.
Page. 2:09A, is stepping fast on the
New York Speedway.
Woodburn farm retires from the
breeding business this fall.
Heir at Laws (2053D broken leg Is
doing nicely. and he will recover.
Much Ado, 2:13H, relishes split heats
and has never yet won a race "off the
reel"
Bush, 209ts may be seen ut the
races later. She recently worked
half mile in 2:1312.
]. d. Gallery, the Pittsburg road rid
er, has bought the fast stallion Russell
wood, 2141l, by Atwood.
Lord Vincent, 2OS& now priced at
$4,000, cost George Tod of Youngs-
town, o., just 81 600 last winter.
Eula Mac, 2:27R, the first 2:30 2-year-
old trotter of 1890, is by Mckinney.
2:11A. out of Balance All, 2:29A, by
Brigadier. 2:21A.
The 4-year-old trotting filly Neeretta,
who won In 2:12h at Santa Rosa, Cal,
Is the first foal of her sire, Neernut,
211A, by Albert w.
Joseph ii. AXE and Daniel Wise of
Sykesville, Pa, have purchased the
promising green pacing mare Alice
AXE from John ii. Patchen of Patch
enville, Pa.
Governor Pacheco, the brother of
Palo Alto, 2:0S4, bought by ]. ]. Nc
Donald of Cuthbert, Ga, at Hon. w.
]. Whites recent sale. is to stand in
Kentucky next year
The Maid, 2:05a4. was timed half in
one minute and three-quarters In 1871
In the 5000 Neponset purse at Read
vile, but was unplaced, although the
best time was but 20SA. Fearful
breaks destroyed any chance that she
might have had.
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04
DO YOU KNOW

That simple massage prevents bald
ness7
That palm oil is the best and cheap
est corn cure?
That the use of dental floss prevents
the teeth decaying?
That lavender oil rubbed on the face
prevents insect biting?
That. orris root and powdered soap
make the best tooth wash?
That lemon juice and salt remove ink
stains from colored goods?
That the smallest wound should be
washed with warm water. and carbolic
acid?
That five minutes rest guards
against nervous prostration, since a
stitch In timetables World.
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04
4 Good Scheua

Hicks-Funny thing happened to
Melville the other evening He found
out when he had pulled the door to
after coming through 1t that he had
left his keys In the house.
Wicks-And so he was forced to re-
main out all night2 That was too bad.
Hicks-Yes. but he bore up under 1t
with fertitnde. He thinks he will try
II again some other night.-Boston
Transcript.
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04
The Kind of "A Piece II wns.

One evening at social function
where Sarasate was among the guests,
n young yiolinist had the bad taste to
play one Of Sarasate's compositions
with variations Of his own creation.
The latter We're inappropriate. and In
artistic and Jared upon tho ears, OF all
The performer ended his work and
made his way to Sarasate, doubtless
expecting q word of recognition or
praise. Sarasate said nothing, and the
player finally asked, II hope you recog.
nlze that pleceY
Certainly" Sarasate promptly. re-
piled: 1T was piece OF impudence."--
San Francisco Argonaut.
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04
Silr imsisir,i

Did thai mau to whom you were
just talking say your affairs were mis-
managedY' asked Mr.. Meckton's wife
severely,
Nov, Henrietta. that was simply n
little aside 1t wasn't intended for
your ears at all"
81 insiStm
"Oh. WELL if you insist; he didn't say
my affairs were mismanaged! lie said
they were Mrs, managed. washing.
ton Star
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04
Plenty of Then,

Romantic Tourist suppose you
have no Interesting old ruins In this
neighborhood?
Nillager-No ruins? Great Scott, mis-.
ter! can show you more'n two dozen
buildin's In this county that used to be
creameries in the old days fore the
trusts.-Chicago Tribune.
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04
SPOlLlNG FOR A FIGHT.
Canada Seems Eager to InauGurate
Tariff War.

Canada Seems Eager to InauGurate
n Tariff War.
The expectation to the United States
of logs from the province of Ontario
has been prohibited and Secretary
Gage is considering the policy Of i'm
posing a retaliatory duty of prohibit
tive character upon logs imported into
this country from any Canadian prov
ince. There is some question as to his
legal authority to do so, the question
turning upon the point whether an alb
solute prohibition is, In contemplation
OF the statute authorizing retaliation,
equivalent to the imposition of an ex-
port duty. The attorney general has
been asked to decide this doubt and 1t
Is morally certain that he will decide it
In the affirmative.
tariff war between Canada and the
United States would be regrettable, be-
cause any disturbance of international
amity is to be deprecated. But we have
not invited the threatening contest and
1t really seems as though the Cana
dians were spelling for some kind of a
tussle. 1t may be necessary. Ay way
of administering n badly needed lesson
in public manners. for the United
States to crafty their desire. All
attitude of coneiliation is evidently not
preciated.-Philadelph Inquirer.
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04
At First sight,

DO you believe In love at first
sight" she asked.
Ihats the only way It's possible"
answered the old bachelor. Second
sight would utterly destroy it."-Chi-
eago Post.
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04

For wounds, burns, scalds, sores,
skin diseases and all irritating eruptions,
nothing so soothing and healing as Dewitt's
Witch Hazel Salye. Mrs. Emma Bolles, Ma
tron Englewood Nursery, Chicago, says of it:
When all else fails in healing our babies. It
viii cure.a Geo. NJ Shamalia.
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04
A Mistake,

Hooter-I hear that the Columbia bs.
struck rock.
Rooter-No; it's only a Shamrock
Shell sail around that all right
Washington Post.
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04
Our Honorary TitIcs

why do You use Hon. In address
Ing letter to hlm?"
He was once Il delegate to coun-
ty convention" n."-Chicago Post.
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04

Leave Lambertylle 700. 8 -, S.45 @ bs Mondays
onlyl, and l14l a M. 200 4.30 and 700 p. m.
Sunday s.45 a.
Arrive Trenton 7.35 SIS 9O9 and uO2s Mon
DAYS only) M, 12i7, 2.S9, sos and 7,2s p
Sunday. . 90 M.
Arrive Philadelphia (Kensnston) 9i7 a. M
12.49, 1872 i.5l. 62a sunday 1902 IN.
Arrive Philadelphia (Broad Street Station) s.57
10 90. 1901 uil7 Mondays only m, 1O6, 34s 500
and % IN. sunday, 1901 am.
Arrive New York, via Trenton. 9.23, 10 3S and
II 3S m, U23s Mondays only), 20S. 4.5S, 7.l3 and
$50 Sunday ll.3s
Trains from Ihttadetphtd and Ne,c York
Leave New York, Desbrosses St. via Trenton,
500, lt.00 IN, Q2.00 Saturdays only), I00 800,
$50, and 600 Sunday 600 m.
Cortlandt Street SOC II 90 O200 Satnr-
days only. 100 800, i,50 and 600 IN. Sundays
600 y m
West Twenty-third Street Station, 1855. 10 SIS
and (ll,55 SATURDAYS oulyl IN, 1855, 2b5. 425 and
555 m Sundays, sos pm.
Leave Philadelphia (Kensington) Gas, las. 1000
m, l2.i5. 2.50 430 and GA p IN. weekdays.
Leave Philadelphia BROAD Street Stationl 50
and 900 M. 1900 noon ti.03 Saturdays only,
2,30, 1852, 500 and 7.02 p m. Sunday, 7.O2 m.
Leave Trenton 1852, $50 I'M, 100 (ib0 Satur-
days only, 1927, AZ, $50 and 1853 m. Sunday,
7,53 p.
Arrive Lambertvlle s.S3, 1920 a IN, 1877, t214
Saturdays only, 4.02, 5.O7, CPS and s,2s IN.
Sunday, 1923 p M.
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04

Leave Lambertvile for Pennington s 46 a m, 2O7
and s. 90 m, week days.
Arrive Pennington 9.i5 m, 252 and 5.3s p IN,
week days
The Lambertville record., 1899-10-04

Buy your Coal of Larison & Mar
larum.