Smyrna times., 1899-12-13
Winning THE Captain.

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Women aboard ship" said the boz |
sun of the British Queen, ''is like cats |
in a conservatory. They won't keep |
still for a minute. If they amt up and |
asking the skipper 'ow far it is to the |
next port, they has to be getting them |
selves in a muddle with the ropes and |
spars and a-trying to turn business
like ship into a sort of 'tarpal bOudoir,
or whatsoever they calls 'em, as is
decked out with ribbons and fancy
touches.
I'VE 'ad a woman once aboard the
Liza Jane, as was crossing from Car
diff to the Thames with steam coal,
| and back agen with anything as we
| could get hold of. She was on the books
as a passenger, and when she come
| aboard at Gravesend with a red para
| sorl and a brown 'andbag and asked
the way to her room we knowed on the
| instant that there was something 60
ing to happen, and we changed our
| lives just as if we'd bin born agen and
couldn't help it.
"Why, afore we was off the More
blest if she 'adn't begun a-talking to the
cook about the greasy knives and tea
| spoons. till the poor feller was in such
a flutter that he took a two hours turn
a-polishing every bit of brass as might
'appen to come under 'er eye
"And then she started on the men.
The ropes was all sticky and nasty, she
| ond co hr1I 20 r.iy oh
couldn't lean agenst without messing
'er blouse. And the men never said
nothing, but just went below and fish
ed out their best togs and took to scrap
ing away the coal dust and tar when
they ought to ha' been below and in
their hunks.
1.-THE fact is, we was all knocked
'ead over 'eels and silly with fear and
admiration. For, no mistake. she was
as trim a gal as ever set a parasorl.
That is to say. we was all stuck 'cept
the skipper. and e wasn't that sort.
''They did say as e was woman
'ater and didn't see no use in 'em. and
dare say as that was so. for when
she was on deck a-airing her best
things and a-making us poor chaps
wish we was good looking enough to
lay our 'earts at 'er feet e was a-slink-
ing out of the way and only came on
deck when e knowed she'd be below
curling 'er air or getting 'erself up for
another attack.
"Well. this state of things continued
for a couple of days. and then one
morning she come right up to me as
, was a-splicing lashings and poked me
f in the chest with 'er parasorl.
"'Sailor.' she ses. what's your
7 nameT
: "'Bill Sniggs, miss. if you please
ses, with my knees a-shaking as il
they was sprung.
"'Well. Bill she ses. you look to m'
r to be the kindest 'earted and the hon
+ estest man aboard. and | want you t.
d do me favor as I can never repay
q Will you?
4 "T willr | answers. serious, just a
when they take 'em for better or wuss
And when she smiled and showed e
- pretty teeth and 'er eyes shone lik
j. melted stars thought l should ha' ha
to back on the deck ouse for support
N "'Now, sailor she ses, I'm a-goin
" to take you into my confidence. Firs
10 of all, l must tell you I'm in love.
= was almost a-falling on my knees
tell 'er | knowed it. Now, can't 20
. guess with whom? Why, of cours
81 with your dear. good skipper! But, ol
ie dear, e is so 'orridly backward! :
I'd won't even look at me. 'E knows
ul came 'ere on purpose to be near II
is. and to talk to 'im and see 'ow e me-
as lects me and keeps out of my wa.
- oh, sailor, am l so 'orrid and ugly?
or "I told 'er as well as | could as
- didn't think the old man need take {
so. COS she wasn't arf bad to look
00 On the contrary, she was about
'as pretty a picter as you'd see in
TX months cruise.
ad "sWell, sailor she went on, 'wh
ed do you think I've determined to d
rid | believe he won't have anything to
nee with me simply because I'm a woms
49, and some silly people think a wom
can do nothing but receive admiratiC
% Now, If | could show him that l 8
Dor brave and strong and can. think a
for act for myself perhaps he would lea
to love me- SO | want you to help \
xed want you to fall overheard and
ing ! me Jump after you