The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-11-25
VI. FAMILY RELATIONS AND
DOMESTIC LITE.

her home through marriage, 1t is just
as honorable to forsake it for profess
sional or business career. Whose fault
is it that she so reasons? The parents
VINO Will not accommodate themselves
TO modern demands. say the daughter,
The children's, who forget gratitude
and decency in their desire for inde-
pendence, say the parents. Consequent
ly there is in most homes perpetual
friction over individual rights. which
even the presence of company scarcely
| mitigates.
Secretly. I think parents are far more
to blame than their children. They had
rather keep their ways, be old-fash-
Toned. have the dinner served as they
like, and maintain punctuality, decor
UNI. with all the other middle-class vir-
tues, than practice the higher graces
| of adopting modern devices-of having
no set time for any meal, but of always
keeping things hot; of free-and-easy
manners, and of spending instead Of
saving. 1t is mighty hard to be an
agreeable parent nowadays, but one
should not begin as parent unless
willing to renounce ones ways as chill
! dren grow up.
All depends upon the point of view. If
one owes surety to the world for its
continuance, if the blessings of irnmor-
tai life should not be restricted, then
any kind of parent is a philanthropist.
But il a child AYERS that, never having
been asked if ne were willing to fulfill
in himself the destiny of the world, he
is at liberty to do as he chooses, then
the only way of living peaceably is by
the exercise of mutual chivalry, a far
more gracious observance than that of
mere forbearance. Even the grammar
school pupil of today knows that the
authority of the man over the woman
and of the parent over the child is
! largely traditional. and that science has
relegated birth to the category of ma
tural law. Hence the independence and
impudence of our little children, their
assertion of their own fancies into
rights, their disc greeable rudeness, and
when grown up their inability to get
| along at home
Notwithstanding all this, a mothers
I happieSt hours are those when her chill
dren are young. when the home nursery
| is the kindergarten, and she is teacher.
playmate and guardian. If she likes
she can make herself miserable by in
voking psychology to her aid by tab
ulating her discoveries in child lore and
by bordering upon the duties of a
| twentieth century mother. Better is it
to be her own nurserymaid and TO have
good time with her children, never
! letting them cry themselves to sleep or
feel too young an undue weight of NOR
al responsibility. and often leaving
them to invent their own amusements
so much inSistence has been placed
upon the order of games and studies
that we have forgotten natures right
to individual caprices. The necessity of
letting boys and girls learn to make
their own choices is q hard lesson alike
for them and their parents to acquire
Why don't you tell me just what to
do instead of giving me the hard work
of deciding?' asked daughter of her
mother. When the girl was % she
knew why
Familiarity and frankness are essen
tails in home life. 1t is as much a pity
when either parent or child has its
most intimate friend outside the home
as it is when the guests of one are not
the guests of all in the house Children
enjoy the distinction of being consulted,
and parents soon learn that il is for
their advantage to see things from the
latest point of view: that being called
''the governor or daddy is not dis
respectful. and that it is happier to joke
a bit with the mother than to regard
her as simply Observation-Disclosures or too
old to be good for much. Parents never
should be old, and never would be if
children did not make them so.
But in order that our children may be
free we, as parents, are very apt to
lose our self-respect and allow our
short answers, gruff ways, neglect of
little courtesieS, and then complain
about the manners of the present day.
If mother has not taught her boy TO
say good morning to her when young
he will be very sure to let her do her
own errands when he is man..
Moreover. there are parents who are
so self-abasing and short-sighted that
they consent to live with their married
children instead of having the children
live with them. II makes great deal
of difference whose house, it is. Tender
ness and strength are the genii that
guide frankness and familiarity until
recipes for daily home living seem az
Anticipated as the old-fashioned way of
learning to read or of corresponding ac-
cording to the Complete Letter
Writer"
a large amount of family friction is
caused by the mistaken conscientious
ness of those parents who defraud their
boys and girls of happiness by not tell
ing them they are pretty or cookbook
ing every one can be the latter) or
wellmannered and attractive. Many
child is lonely even in fond homes
where there is little outward expression
of love and never a compliment. Even
if praise has its baneful side. it is a
great deal happier. to be self-conceited
because of it than gloomy from want
u H. SHlluren also SnOulQ make love
to their parents, telling them how de- |
lightful they are, that middle life and
old age has given them new kind of |
charm. Many a mother grows set in |
her ways and chary of pretty dressing |
just because her children do not seem |
to care about her clothes. and many a |
father slides into slovenly tricks at ia =!
bic or smokes in disagreeable fashion |
because his children do not proudly |
keep him up to the mark of always |
being gentleman with his family.
When not only ones own children |
are so different from those os other |
folks. but there is merely slight |
mental resemblance among members of |
the same family, this need of mutual |
is all the mere imperative in |
each other. Fortunately. |
In spite of dissimilarifies, the relation |
Of brothers and sisters can be mot al
ways is) that of the merriest. freest |
without the perils and |
of married life being in /
volved thereby. 1t is comfort not to /
be accountable for a friendship; BROTH /
ers and sisters just have to accept each |
other. Ala, the ideal relation Is not
always fulfilled. owing to the boys in
nate bossism and to the girls acquired |