Fergus County argus. [volume] (Lewistown, Mont.) 1886-1946, 1899-12-27

COulllOHly Cdlltu Il NICKEL, anu Jour one
cent pieces, sometimes improperly
designated as pennies. walked home,
rather than waste any part of my es-
tate IN car fare, having it in mind that
if l missed you l would at least retain
enough of the legal tender to buy what
ever you can get for a nickel. AS for
the other four cents, | suppose there
are places at which one may obtain four
cents worth of food, but / maintain
that no gentleman will split a nickel
in ordering his dinner.
Mac-That's right. Besides, four
cents worth Of quail wouldn't go very
far.
Barney-Am I to understand that
both of you are entirely bankrupt?
Jim-We have II cents between us.
Mac-My colleague is most consid-
crate. The fact is that he has the II.
Barney-Then we have a total of 20
cents. That might do if there were
only two of us.
Mac-Oh, don't mind me! Go on and
stuff yourselves. I'll stay here and
perish.
JIM give fair warning that I am
in no condition to ue satisfied with a
repast costing six and two-third cents.
Besides, just imagine three gentlemen
Of our standing going into a restaurant
and ordering, in the aggregate, 90 cents
worth of food-say, a sandwich, two
pieces of pie and a cup of coffee. How
could you divide that up among three?
Mac-I speak for the sandwich and
coffee.
Jim-Unfortunately, we left the
Alameda restaurant, managed by Mrs.
Hopkins, four days ago because of the
diminishing circumference of the buck
wheat cakes. More unfortunate still,
we made a melodramatic exit and told
Mrs. Hopkins that we would never re-
turn, hence it would be h%umiliating,
not to say injudicious, to approach Mrs.
Hopkins at this time for the purpose of
obtaining credit. As for the new place,
| cannot believe that we have sufficient
standing after only four days of patron.
age. Gentlemen, ut is a condition
which confronts us and not a theory
Barney-Hear! Hear!
Jim-We must and shall eat!
Barney-Applause and shouts OF
that's right"
Jim-In order that we may eat, we
must first get some ready money. j
take it that we cannot command credit,
either individually or collectively
Now, then, how TO get the money? ]
will tell you. We must pawn some.
thing.
Barney-Pawn the lounge.
Jim-The lounge is not our property
and we will be honest, even in our ex
tremity. / have asked the question
"What shall we pawn?" and now I will
answer that question. We will pawn
Macs rwatch. All those in favor say
"aye." Aye!!
Barney-Aye!
Jim-Those opposed will signify the
same by saying no."
Mac-No!
Jim-The "ayes" seem to have it
The "ayes" have it. We will pawr
Macs watch. For how much?
Mac-Not too much. / want to see il
again some time.
Barney-Don't be afraid. You won
get very much on il.
Mac-It hasn't been running for
week.
Jim-Well, wind it up and set it ant
then give it a good hard shake just be
fore you 60 into the place, so as Il
keep it going until you get the money.
Mac-Gentlemen, / object to the ar
rangement. am willing to provid'
the watch. but | would be deeply hur
in my pride il I had to go into a paw
shop and conduct the negotiations
barney will have to do that part of il
Barney-I'm rather proud, too.
Jim-You will pocket that pride an
hypothecate the watch or you simpl,
do not eat. Wen go with you as ia
MS the door and look at the diamond
in the window until you come out. 70
can't expect Mac TO provide the watc'
and do all the work, too. He has tn
only watch which would be accepte,
by a discriminating pawnbroker, an
when he gives up that watch in orde
TO bring the greatest good TO the great
est number, what more could you eS
pect?
Barney-What'st the matter with you
going in with the watch?
Jim-I'm the one who invented thi
scheme. Do not ask me to do both III
planning and the executing? Beside
what are your objections to going int
n pawnshop? You haven't any repr
tation 10 lose. You've been in tow
cnly about three weeks. It's differen
with Mac and me. We've been here
year. During that time we've bee
|. in society twice. Don't you see tina
we're in a position to compromise oul
selves? Is this your gratitude? W
take you in out Of the street and et'
!; you a folding lounge and borrow
pillow for you, and then you. like th
snake warmed on the bosom Of III
tender.hearted gentleman, would sin
r your fangF into your benefactors!
: this
; Rarney-oh, shut up. I'll pawn ii
!, watch.
So they put on their overcoats an
, went forth into the winter twilight
L Chinann nntlu Eannrh