The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-01-03
SAYINGS.
Wit of An Irishman and Funny Say
ings of Establishment.

Sir Boyle Roche sent an amusing
equivocal invitation to an Irish noble
man of his acquaintance: II hope. my
lord, if ever you come within a mile of
my house, that you'll stay there all
night"
When he was suffering from an at
tack of govt, he thus rebuked his shoe
maker: "Oh, you're a precious block
head, to do exactly the reverse of what
1 desired you. l told you to make one
of the shoes larger than the other, and
instead of that you have made one of
them smaller than the other"
Once, when it was stated, on the oc-
grant, that it was unjust to saddle pos
terity with a debt incurred to benefit
the present, Sir Boyle rose and said ::
why should we beggar ourselves to
benefit posterity? What has posterity
done for us?" The laugh which fol-
lowed rather surprised him, as he was
unconscious of his blunder. He pro-
ceeded to explain: ''Sir, by posterity
do not mean our ancestors. but those
who come Immediately after them"
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An Irishman, going to the postoffice,
inquired if there were any letters for
him. Your name, sir" said the clerk
There is a good one, now said the
Hibernian. why, don't you see it on
the back of the letter."
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Near Sighted Old Gentleman-Can
you tell me what inscription is on that
board over there?
Irish Rustic-Sure, Dim in the same
boat, sorri 1t was moighty little
schoolin' Oh had whin Oi was a bhoy
mesilf, sorr!
The servant of a naval commander
an Irishman, one day let a teakettle
fall into the sea, upon which he ran
to his master: "Arrah an phase your
honor, can anything be said to be lost
when you know where it is?''
Certainly not replied the officer.
why, thin, by my. soWl and St Pat
rick, the teakettle is at the bottom of
the sea-
An Irishman, being asked what he
came to America for, said: list what
l came here for, yoRkmane? Arrah, be
wasn't for want, for 1 had plenty of
that at home"
A Yankee and an old Irishman, hap
pening to be riding together passed a
gallows.
Where would you be-" said Jona-
than. IF the gallows had it's due?"
Riding alone, L guess" said the
Irishman.
Professor Thorold Rogers made this
reply to an elector who frankly told
him that he would ''vote for the devil
first" Very good, sir; very good"
said the stOical professor. ''But in case
your friend does not come to the Doll.
may 1 hope to be favored with your
support?"
fective, for from that day the voter to
whom it was addressed was amongst
his most enthusiastic supporters.
One night, during a heated discus
sion in the house of commons, in which
Horne Tooke bore the principal part.
his chief antagonist said: 'I'll take the
sense OF the house" "And I'll take the
nonsense, and I'll beat you," retorted
Tooke.
Referring to the poverty too often en-
dured By artists, poets, authors and
other men of genius, Douglas Jerrold
makes Mr.. Mammoth tell his wife Tin
the piece entitled Law and Lions'O
that the wives of geniuses live only in
the kitchen of imagination"
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Mr.. Espinasse was conversing with
Erskine and Mr.. Lamb when Erskine
remarked how much habit and the
practice of speaking gave a man con-
fidence in addressing the court II pro-
test | don't find it so,'' said Mr.. Lamb,
for, though I've been a good many
years at the bar, and have had my
share of business, I don't find my con-
fidence increase: indeed, the contrary
is rather nv case" ssWhv r.epI,f.d
Erskine. cts nothing wonderful that Al
Lamb should grow sheepish.''
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you had better ask for manners
than money! said finely dressed GEN
tleman to beggar who asked him for
aims. 'I asked for what thought you
had most Of" was the cutting reply.
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