The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1899-11-27
UNEASY HUSBAND and U|FE.
RARELY SNOW TO BEST ADvAx-
TAGE N c0MPAxY TOGETHER.
Couples Are Nearly Always Con-
strained, ana CO - the Extreme

81 II Sle HHEf OF the mouse party. TIE
goldenrod IL blooming in the fields the
cheerful and rot ungratefui fire is on the
hearth. The hospitable heart would gath
er In its guests as the squirrel gathers In
chestnuss. And II Is surprising how
many people II is possible TO secure II We
have an agreeable house and an accom-
| piished chef. how many attractive peo-
PIE there are In the world II We consider
them individually. Alas! the commingling
OF sauce with twenty ingredients IL not
so difficult as TO bring the right sort of
Insn and women together In themselves
they are charming; thrown into a caul-
dron together they do not blend. One
has only to look over the list of ones
last years guests TO see why on that
particular occasion cur hospitality was
not success. AT each house party there
were half dozen couples. two or three
bachelors and maiden or two thrown in
for iagnappe.
The habit of inviting husbands and
| wives together has become an expression
| of morals. Ignoring the fact that IL they
| are On friendly terms. man and his wife
spend at least two-thirds of the year to-
gether. and would enjoy the separation
| IL only for the pleasure of the return. we
| also ignore what has more weight than
| fact; that is. feeling which all mar
ried people recognize. that the social and
| holiday side OF ones character is totally
| different from the domestic side. and that
| even the NEST sincere of US are. after
| fashion. doublefaced; that is TO say. show
| our exterior to the world and TO society.
and ourselves to Our families. and. in
consequence. a man or a woman can no
| more be at ease in adapting the proper
! but unaccustomed character of guest in
| the presence of one VINO knows him IN
| his house character than a child can
| speak his piece before his next brother.
| A man Is different 10 his wife, a wife
| Is different to her husband than either is
! To any third person, but however at ease
| when apart either may be In social life,
| the very presence of the other creates
! self-consciousness, and the man especial
| ly. being less artificial. il more keeniy
| aware that he Is playing role. GER
| tain chiyalrcus bearing. were he alone,
| may be his natural manner to other wo
| men. but the presence OF his wife makes
| IL appear unnatural. And even were they
| able to accept this necessary condition,
| TO bring the matter down 10 practtcan-
| ties. the story he would tell as new TO her
| Is old the opinion may or may not be
| original, bat she knows. With our best
| clothes We put on certain fineness OF
| expression. It may be a fineness Of feel
| ing. But no man likes TO appear incon-
| sistent or ins!ncsre 10 the woman he
| most respects and admires. He can no
| best foot foremost than he can relate
an adventure in his life Of which she Is
not the heroine. The consciousness of n
| critical though loving presence has HIN
| derea many a man In even so uncompro-
| missing a task "a writing a novel. II
| would appear that in a realm SO purely
| tina gina.ive the writer might exercise his
fancy REGARDING any situation without
| creating the suspicion that II Is an ex-
| perience. But this column has In mind
/ nice little man who did not dare to tell
how his hero felt when his first sweet
| heart refused him lest his wife arraign
| him with the accusation that she was
/ second choice.
| This column recoIleets deriving great
| satisfaction when she was fellow guest
| with distinguished author and his wife.
| In weaving romance as to how the
| union came about. OF course. she was
| not eontented to think that II occurred
| the usual way but she decided that their
| marriage was one Of those romantic af-
/ fairs In which a conscientious man had
sacrificed himself 10 girl he had pres
! aged he should outgrow. II happened
| that her fancy was assisted by the fact
| that the wife was In this instance what
| Mr. Howells would call hen minded"
| woman capable OF one idea at time
| and manifold anxieties concerning II. On
/ this particular visit I recoilect she was
| much per.urbed lest he take cold. and
| followed him about with little shswis and
1 paper Of strongly scented mint drops
| There was a younger sister we all de-
| cided he ough. really TO have married as
| people always decide when there Is a
| younger sister. and this couple were from
| their incongruity so unusually interest
| ing that was never clear In my mind
| whether the whole thing had not been
| gotten UP 20 show the author of as a
I.,rx Hat ~ ~
! FIRST water. But a. a general thing
| married. pair's uneasiness In each others
| presence communicates itself to the
! guests and when all the guests are mar
| rted and consequently all uneasy. the
| hostess makes up Ter mind as the end OF
/ their stay 10 seek other ways Of anus
| ing herself and others.
In society Together.
t But II the presence Of the wife IL en-
| harrassine To the husband. not less EN-
/ harrassing is the presence Of the hus-
band "a the wife II f. true. men feel
| less responsible for the general appear
| anee az their wives than women 10 for
their husbands. though David Grisve did
| believe ask Lucy. after the dinner at
I Lord Daflelis why she wore those queer
/ silk raitts instead % suede gloves bar a
/ woman pat the remark in the husbands
! mouth Men do rot trouble IN make
| wherever their wives nay s.t the head
90 IRE table. nor with Jealous affection
| and Pride prod them - telling their best
stories and airing their pet theories. \
mans arec;souate pror-fetorship In his
/ wife generally takes the form 81 dread
1 ,.s. she say something that will bore
/ the earnrAny ard convince his fellows
| ,ha. he has married fool, and his feel
/ ,rss II rot expressed IN words. are pro-
| ~fa,rnea 81 least 10 her in unmistaksbls
| phrase
cav .sflh. Ean't tell that ;iue-w9rn anec-
! sote ~ Il you must sea IL. tell + Prep
I .~fv,s sa: ottsne- re h@trays NE unaappi-
4 ness II his air q general misery. Il i
/ strange that parent wao Is actually rs
/ snorsshgs Cor his chilis appearance seldom
/ fsals ss1f-a ta cement when he meets hss CT
/ sursrx In scsse,y while a husband who hss
| n, responsibility fer his wife's bringing ~,
/ FOR he formation ~ he mind or manners
/ or for her Inherited tendencies fs on tent
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