The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-27
SPINNING WHEEL.

HOW'RE THEY COMM WITH YOU?
1 started round the other day,
To satisfy myself
How fast the general public
Was accommodating wealth.
Each individual / met
/ interviewed, you see,
SO now I'll try and tell you what
Some of them told to me.
A shoemaker said he was '.pegging away
A lawyer was Lying iow."
A doctor was making his money dead
easy
It's the truth-they told me So
A butcher managed to make ends meat,
The iceman had struck a frost,
A plumber | met was hitting the pipe
Poor fellow, / guess he's lost.
A pickpocket was taking things easy
While baker was 'loafing all day
A grocer told me in confidence,
That things were going his weigh
dentist was living from hand to mouth,
And here, just to make rhyme,
I'll have to ring in the jeweler,
Who was working, of course, lever time.
A burglar said ''tfmes were picking up
But he had to work at night:
And even poor blind beggar said
He was doing out o. sight
An OSSified man was having
An awful hard time" he said,
While an undertaken told me
He was doing quite well-on the dead"
prima donna. who MARBLES.
Said life went by like song
But a little sOubrette | casually met
Was barely getting along
An oil producer told me,
He managed to get long WELL
While Hebrew merchant meEdioned,
He had clothing to burn TO SELL
asked spiritualist how things were,
Just medium he replied;
A barber said he was "Scraping along
And then cuptQ6 and died
A furrier ran ii skin game
jockey was Ton the co.,
But it turned MY head when dressmaker
She was doing '.sew and sew
Now pardon me if, in conclusion,
Of myself | modeStly speak
All I'm doing is digging out stuff like this
For thirty cents week.
William Lord Reed in the PittsOurg Dis
patch.
Il am sorry You are leaving your nice
house, said one city man to another. Il
hope you are not going entirely out of
the neighborhood?"
NO" returned his friend, eve were
going to leave this quarter, bat events
have altered cases, and we shall stay on
at least for a little time"
Some particular eventT
Eyes; the girl next door has had to stop
playing the piano to read the war news
to her grandfather. '-Pick-Me-Up Up.
The repentant and badly-mauled bur-
glar who had been captured red-handed,
was opening his mind to the kindly pris-
on chaplain, who had been most assidu
GUS in cheering the injured man during
the ten long and dreary weeks he had
been laid up in the infirmary, says Ally
Sloper.
oh! yns, sir he said; Sin corse !
shall plead guilty when I'm well enough
to take my trial. / shall own MP straight
and square, and throw myself on the
mercy of the court All the same, sir"
he continued, as he rea ched painfully for
the barley water and moistened his fe-
vered lips, "all the same, sir, l can't 'elp
feelln' bit of a joss at the idea of being
set upon and knocked about like this ere
by middle-aged female. It's bit riliR
like you'll own, SIR
All! but she was brave woman, a
Wonderfully-plucky woman" said the
chaplain, admiringly. "There are very
few of her sex who would have had the
courage to attack burglar single-hand-
ed, and huge, brawny fellow like you,
too"
The battered criminal smiled a trihe
sadly. You're right, SIR" he said,
there amt; and she wouldn't ave done
so neither only she made mistake when
she see me a-crawlin' up the stairs in me
stockinged feet at 2 in the mornin'.''
"A mistake! Why, how was that?" in
CURED the chaplain.
''She took me for 'er bloomin' 'usband
that's wot she did, was the disgusted
reply. She took me for 'er bloomin
husband and dashed me up afore she
found out 'er herror''
There was a baby born to Mr.. and
Mrs. c.. l.. Phifer of California. Mon
iteau county, recently, and Mr.. Phifer