The true northerner., 1899-05-10
HUM0EcvS EXPERIENCES.
PARSONS LIFE IN ENGLAND HAS
ITS FUNNY SIDE.
for the simple Old Clergyman
from the Country--An Em-
barrassing Mistake.

fessional pride strovs for the mastery
with the due righteousness which she
considered necessary for the occasion.
At last she evolved the following
strange mixture: "Middling well, sir;
some Of ems gone straight to glory,
but l am glad to say others are nicely
on the mend"
On another occasion a man who be-
longed to workingmen's club In the
parish was telling me the strange his
tory OF his life. He had been deserted
by his father and mother and IN 20 or
less dragged up by an old aunt Who
had taken him In. From the age of IL
he had had to fight his own battle and
uncommonly well he had fought 1t.
could see how proud he naturally
enough was Of his success. But IN
the midst of his boasting he seemed
suddenly TO realize that perhaps he
owed something to higher power. or,
at least he ought 10 say so; SO he
went on: You see, sir, | ave always
'ad to fend for mysen iver since | WAS
scrap o. a lad"-then a pause
'leastwise, in course, wi a bit o. 'elp
from tn Almighty" 1t was certainly
quantity put but / believe genuinely
meant.
Speaking Of the undue stress often
laid on little things, the local papers Of
our country towns are at times de-
lightful in this way or course, they
always contain full accounts of knife
and-fork teas held at the Fothering-
by-scum- -Slocum Primitive Method
ist New Connection Mission room,
with a complete list OF the ''teamak-
ers"-Miss Jones. Master T. Jones, the
ID
how the guests heartily partook of the
good fare kindly provided by Mr.. and
Mrs. knight, etc. A local paper, how
ever. which / happened TO see the
other day, surpassed itself in its
"News from Our Village" | suppress
the name of the village. but cannot
withhold the nature of the news.
1t ran somewhat as follows: Last
Thursday Mr.. Thomas -, farm la
borer, killed sow weighing stone.
She was, indeed, a splendid specimen
OF the porcine' species; we are in
formed that, in spite Of her great size,
she was able to walk In and out Of her
sty to the last"
An old clergyman who had held a
cure In the depths of the country for
the greater part of his life had oc-
tain matter and, in answer to his let
ter, received an invitation to sleep the
night at the palace. For forty or fifty
years he had practically led the life OF
a recluse and ii was after many cogi-
tations that he decided to take the
journey TO the other end Of the dio-
cese, where the bishop lived He ar
rived just in time for > o'clock tea.
meal 10 which he was n complete
stranger. After tea the bishop asked
him to accompany him to evensong.
When they returned 70 the house. the
bishop. remarking that it was quite
time they went upstairs, lit a candle
and showed his guest TO his room II
was then just o'clock and, though
the old clergyman thought it WAS
rather early TO retire. still. admiring
the bishop for such simple habits he
prepared for bed. He had just put
out the light and lain down TO sleep,
wishing he had eaten "A little more at
tea, when "a booming noise rang
through the house and smote upon his
ear. Quick as thought he sprung from
his bed and shouting Fire." at the ton
of his voice, rushed out onto the land
ing just in time 10 meet the bishop,
with lady on his arm. going down 10
dinner. The sequel 10 the story has
never been divulged and, as | have
said, this is Lot n personal reminis-
cence.
A certain bishop, in travelling
through his diocese, had occasion to
change at wayside junction While
waiting for his train he seized the op-
portunity OF making friends with the
station master. One of the kindesr-
hearted men, he was very fond Of try
ing TO enter into the varied interests
of those with whom he came in con-
tact However on this occasion he
did not find II easy TO discover the
exact topic in which his new friend
was interested. So reluctantly he fell
back on his particular shop T. e.,
the traffic. Il suppose, with the race
meeting taking place to-day, there has
been some very heavy traffic on your
liner Inadvertently the bishop had.
indeed, touched the station masters
weak point-not the traffic, but racing
So for the next quarter Of An hour he
listened in his kindly way to the va
rious merits OF the horses engaged in
the st. Leger and their chances OF
success. Al last, to the bishops great
relief il must be admitted, the train
arrived, anu, Sndklng Dan0S with MS
racing friend, he got into a carriage.
He had no travelled very far. how
ever, when, the train having pulled up,
he heard the station masters voice in
quiring IL the bishop of - was in the
train. Hastily the bishop declared his
presence. or course, his fellow pas
eengers in the third-class carriage Gt
was the bishops boast that he always
Travelled third were on the qui vive
to know what the station master
wanted with the bishop, while quite
a little knot Of spectators gathered
round the carriage window. Up comes
the official, making a prodigious sa-
lutte to the great ecclesiastical dig
!. nitary. "Tve just received wire,
my lord, from the station master ut
= asking me TO tell your lordship
that Donovan won the Leger." The
bishops establishment and chagrin at
ais friends kindly thought Of him can
be better Imagined than described,
especially when he heard the litter
from those assembled on the platform,
and noticed the increased interest