Daily independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 188?-1915, 1899-02-04
NOT THE REAL THING.
The Man I'm the Uniform Was Msde
Uncomfortable by Sarcastic
Remarks.

A young officer of one of the local
companies is home on furlough. Nat
urally he is the recipient of "a eat deal
of attention. This comes not alone
from his numerous friends, but from
the general public, which still-al-
though the novelty is wearing off-re-
CARDS the returned soldiers with sre-
cial eye. This applies with special
force to the feminine public.
Well. his particular chum is a loud
youth whose soul is filled with regret
every time he thinks of his lost mill
tary opportunities. Nevertheless he
chaffs his soldier friend numerically
over what he calls cheap notoriety.
II tell YOU" he said. cts nothing but
the uniform that they care for. It isn't
the man by any means. If they devised
a corntield scarecrow in soldier clothes
you'd find pretty girls by the score
throwing kisses at it across the rural
fence"
NO" said the soldier. stoutly. you're
wrong. It's mixture of man and uni
form. The nran alone wouldn't he run
after, and as for the eInrty uniform.
we'll. there wouldn't be anything al
tractive in that either. but take the
man and uniform together, and there
you have it,"
"Wouldn't any man do?' asked the
sarcastic youth
mo. he wouldn't" retorted the SOL
der; "it takes man who Icol5s as If he
belonged in the clothes to, draw the
right sort of atterticn.'
Nonsense" said the chum; "any old
masculine would do. and I'll bet on it,"
"How much?" quericd the soldier.
I'll bet you spotted fall nccktie
that 1 can put on your uniform. go
down town and attract the very sume
kline of attention that you do"
The soldier reflected Q moment,
IT'S a Co." he said. TRY it this
evening. Put on the clothes and let
me know the result"
So the confident youth donned the
natty suit. ed trimmed down the flow
ing mustache, and put OF the iaunty
cap.
you make a very sweet-looking war
rior." said the real soldier.
Don't ~" flirrantly returned the
youth. as he gracefully touched his car
and rirouetted through the door.
with his shoulders squared and his
can pulled down over his eyes he start.
ed for the nearest car. He swurp him.
self aboard and took seat immediately
in front of two pretty girls.
Ee Noticed as he came in that every.
body on board turned to look at him;
and this filled his heart with Le!i~ht.
lie sat bolt upright. wondering vi
the rretty girls would think CT lir,.
He didn't really expect to be Ffss; d.
but he was prepared for almost any
thing.
Pretty soon he realized that the girls
were whispering about him.
word or two came to him above tb,,
smooth roll of the car. lis ears were
strained to the utmost. and his hearin:,
is abnormally excellent.
Pretty, isn't he!" murmured one
girl.
Yes, quite too pretty" giggled the
other.
just out of the handbook" whispered
the first girl.
"Or the moth bag" said the othe:
girl.
why, sylvia!" Then a soft duet of
giggles.
Hasn't he lovely complexion?"
Hasn't he! Not a mite of tan"
Perhaps he wears veil?"
"Why. Laura!" More giggles.
Cant be q real soldier, can hep"
"No-o-o. The ideal"
But the uniformly"
Perhaps the real soldiers went away
and forgot him"
Prolonged giggling.
oh. Laura. I've guessed it."
well. what is it?"
"I1e isn't a soldier"
II guessed that"
Hes recruiting officer"
few moments later the make-belieye
soldier stopped the car and alighted.
Then he walked back.
jim" he said. as he flung the cap on
the chiffonier, you've woni"--Cieve-
land Plain Dealer.