New-York tribune., 1899-12-17
THE coOSEBONE CONTROVERSY.

tis not surprising that the goosebone weather
prophets are all Mt skies and sevens TINS year.
for the weather. like the average human SINNER
bos heen doing those things II ought not 10 nave
done and leaving undone those things 1t ought 10
bove done according to the calendar. Not that
vva moan to criticiSe the weather we nave Deen
having: very far from it. Our only object Is 10
call attention TO it's "uniquity." not its iniquty
Yet we know that in doing so we lay ourselves
omen 10 correction and even rebuke. For have
not sundry an. several papers in various parts
Of the country published letters from "Old In
babtant." constant Reader and even "Scruta-
tor" telling how often just such an open winter
az this has occurred? AS one ''Scrutator whose
vigorous epistle we have perused puts it. This
"talk about unusual weather gives me the muill-
"grrbs There Is no unusual weather in our
glorious country.
stiu the fact remains that the weather,
whether unusual or not has divided the goose
bone prophets into two opposing schools OF
thought. each ha wing propaganda and liter
Azure of its own and each quite sure that the
other is held in the embrace Of pernicious error.
VIII this unfortunate schism he happily healed!
Or will the Nation be called upon to divide on
another burning question? Such is the issue
that confronts us at the present moment. Here
for instance is Mike" s. Seitz. of Grand Rapids
Mich known OF all men in the vicinage to be
most alert wea ther prophet with long series or
predictions to his credit. who has examined the
hroastbonr of young and innocent goose and
who declares that 't is the darkest nave seen
for twenty years" OF course, everybody KNOWS.
or ought TO know what that means. But that
the wavfaring man. though fool, need not err,
Mr. Setz gives the Interpretation thereof as fol-
lows: I'VE will have an early, steady cold WIN
for February will be the coolest month.
Doubtless those pestilent fellows, the higher
critics would raise question of fact about this
prediction and attack the goosebone cult by de-
claring that the winter is unusually late instead
of early: bur they have been so frequently
drubbed by our valued religious contemporaries
that they needn't be taken into account. Shall
we allow a little thing like a fact TO come be-
tween us and our faith in the goosebone? Perish
the thought
But alas ard alack. the very high priests of
that faith, consecrated by the testimony of
long line of revercd geese are delivering contra
Gictory messages Elias Hartz the celebrated
gooscbone prophet of Reading, Penn, has exam
ined the breastbones Of three geese and found
them to be white, except bit of purple on the
From this Mr.. Hartz infers that there will be
no winter at ALL" Some people. he adds, may
need the testimony of three bones and there is
no harm in having many bones you can
get. provided. of course. they tell you what you
already believe But" he concludes in the
plenitude of n robust faith, zone bone is enough
for me- In the last fifty years in which | have
made an annual test the hone has never failed
"once. The weather always came to pass as in
"dicated by the goosebone. So you need not ex-
"pect much snow or ice or cold weather until
next March. The winter will be the mildest on
record"
So here we are called upon to decide between
Seitz and Hartz. with no end of other burning
questions still unsettled. 1t is really most I'M
fortunate. There is. however. one way out that
suggests itself to us. Let these two gentlemen
exchange bones Or, If that would seem TO be
an inconclusive proceeding, let them call a gen.
era council Of goosebone prophets to pass on
the question which Of these bones tells the truth