The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1899-12-03

absence the most astounding liberties
had been taken not only with the cos
tunes and business, but also with the
text of "A Moral Dilemma; the very
cast was unfamiliar to me. Worse
still, a few minutes observation suf-
feed to show that the drama itself had
deteriorated wofully, and instead of the
noble play representing my latest mes
sage to the world witnessed what
was little better than a screaming abb
surdity
Those exasperating alterations OBJ
liged me to explain to Nat every now
and again; these explanations becom-
ing more frequent on each fresh de-
velopment of buffoonery, l thought |
heard a litter, and, looking up, Icaught
some ladies in an opposite box training
their lorgnettes upon me. l felt as If
l had received cold douche, a terrible
conjecture shaping itself instantly in
my mind What If, after all, Ravens
worth knew more than he admitted? 1t
was not without the bounds of posi-
bility that he had succeeded, on the
strength of malicious representations,
in getting the moral Dilemma" thus
numerically mangled until it's own
What if this were the reason he re-
fused to eat or drink with me, but was
quite ready to come here, where he
knew he should enjoy the spectacle of
my anguish and the qualification of my
masterpiece?
But even while the suspicion matured
into certainty, according to the nature
of suspicious, I hit upon a fresh expe-
dent which would turn the tables com
pletely upon my willy foe and rescue
myself from the charges of plagiarism,
as we'll as from the disgrace of father
ing any longer so glaring an imbecility.
/ glanced at Ravensworth, and thought
1 could detect a cynical smile lowering
about the corners of his mouth l con-
trolled my impulse to knock him down.
So he was there, gloating over my dis
comfiture; very well, we should soon see
how the FOOLS cap would fit his own
head
The calm way the people in front took
the medley astonished me, until l re-
flected that probably half the house was
paper and the other half composed of
persons who came to enjoy this bur-
lesque upon a serious drama, the enjoy
an i'll natured rumor at my expense.
Possibly, too. some hint of my presence
| there had reached the audience, and
this would account for the interest of
the box occupants over the way. All,
it was prettily planned.
RavenSWOrth, who sat rather in the
shadow, was apparently completely abb
| sorbed in the performance; but still I
could detect the incipient grin on his
ugly face. Little did he dream how
near he was to being hoist on his own
petardi
Mastering my indignation, bided my
time until, a propitious moment arriv-
ing, I arose and, lounging to the box
front, suddenly drew aside the curtain,
lifting my hand for silence, the orches-
ira having at that especial instant most
unaccountably commenced playing.
Ladies and gentlemen" I said in
a clear, ringing voice. "allow me to
make a short statement. I am, as you
all are doubtless we'll aware, Mr.. Pen
nyfeather-Mr. Cuthbert Pennyfeather
the reputed author of the piece now
being performed before you; and it
may perhaps interest you also to learn
not altogether originate is, in point
of fact, the property of a friend of
mine, who, having abandoned litera-
ture, had no further use for it, though
I trust that, on viewing this large, Gull
tured and influential audience assem-
bled here tonight, he will reconsider
his decision. 1 refer to my esteemed
friend, Mr. Nathaniel Ravensworth,
just returned from Australia-the dig
gins, you knowi''
A roar of applause greeted my pero-
ration, the house writing in long
paroxysm Of laughter, which springing
upward from the misty vastness of the
pit, scared aloft to the very roof, and
was hurled down again, storming across
the footlights to the stage, where, much
to my surprise, a eurving line of SHIN
mering damsels was gracefully curvet-
ting forward. i was myself family
amused-fattered. if you will. I re-
joiced in the quick intelligence of my
countrymen, for evidently the house
had grasped the situation; every neck
was craned toward me, every available
opera glass focused upon me, and I
have no doubt but every pickpocket
within the building was blessing me fer
vently. I could, however see nothing
very plainly beyond the front row of
the stalls, where fat woman, who had
been deprived of a subordinate part in
my play, was laughing indecently, a
gentleman beside her clapping his
hands with wild abandon. / recognized
him too. 1t was Larripur, my pet aver
sion.
Crr,1 .f,.cf <rou etc ont "a
man, and leaning forward so that I
might pitch my voice distinctly, l wait
ed for the applause to subside, wonder
ing meanwhile where 1 had left my
pince-neZ.
81 must, however" I continued,
plead ignorance to the bewlldering
changes made in the performance dur
ing my absence-changes l cannot de-
scribe as Improvements, though you
seem to find them all right; for, person
ally, am at the present moment as to-
tally unable to comprehend this extra
ordinary jumble-Chinese puzzle, I
might say-which the management has
thought fit to put before you in my
name, as I am to explain the presence
of those young ladies, who, however adj
mirable in their proper place, the music
hall, are, it seems to my poor judgment,
quite out of place in drama which
an eminent critic has characterized as
the most earnest aspirations
of our day"
Here I hiccoughed-I could not help
it to save my life-and the laughter
clothed me as with a garment. I was
not angry; 1 was, on the contrary, a
little touched, I felt how near is hui