New-York tribune., 1899-06-18
The TALK OF THE DAY.

THE Chicago Record" tells OF a absent-minded
man who bought load Of hay the other day for
his automobile.
"Hov yez heard about IT, quered shannigran
with well-smulated indignation. "Dhe autorities
wudnt let 'em bury poor ovid woman yister-
day. ,.., y.,,,-
barty "An' for phwoy not. OF dun'no?"
she wasn't dead! That's wan on yez Mack
Meeting O'Hoggerty little later he remarked;
"Irt's savages thot rule us. dyez moindI
"Orm not married meslf," replied OHoggerty
"oI don't name that Begorra, dhey wudn,t let
'em bury poor ovid dead woman yisterday'
"R!caUse " she wasn't dead. Hawi Haw!"
wasn't dead? Dhe divil! Yez just said she was
"Hv OF did OF got ahead av mesllf Ut's Joke;
dyez see? OF am a wag. Dyez know phwot
wag 49,"
"Phwot thin"
"A wag is dom foor'-CHarper's Bazaar.
In such extremely dry weather az we are now
having even the frontier rainmaker or the O)io-
beway medicine man. with his moist incantatons.
would be sure OF respectful attention The official
weather prophets wilt under the strain and can
promise rs no comfort In such circumstances the
sorcerer with his pointed cap and painted robe ana
instruments OF thaumaturgy would be welcome
But even he appears to be one OF the many signs
which fail In dry weather
Mrs WrentCr-What a nuisance II is 70 hlre a
house and be unable to have anything done WIN
Nj Mr. Wrentor~Yes but IT is a bigger nuisance TO
be the landlord. and 10 have your tenant eterhaHy
begging for somethng.-tBoston transcript
A man approached Burlington (Vt) policeman
the other day and advanced the decidedly novel
propos,tion that II the bluecoat would lend him a
ouarter presumably to buy drink. he would come
back in few moments and raise disturbance so
that the officer could arrest him and get the usual
fee
The Uncrowned King -Bull--who was that gem
tleman you nodded to in the hallway, ;y,,,,oro,rs
BulI-And who was that man you shook hands
with and gave On cigar & IN nsrns ins the jantor
Chicago News.
The new Wolf Scalp Bounty law OF Kansas Is
giving the clerks OF the various counties consd-
erable trouble on account OF It's ambiguity. The
new law offers a bounty OF 81 for all wolf scalps.
except those OF the "lobo' species. the scaps OF
which are worth s. each. The county clerks don't
know wha, the "lobo' Is. and have been unable
| IN obtain any information which would enable
them to distinguish the s. scaps from those OF
| the ordinary wolf
"Did you ever laugh until you cried, Tommy
Yes. only this morning
We'll pa stepped on a tack and laughed; then
pa caught me laughing and cried -tfttsoufs
Chronicle.
Information comes by way OF an East Indian
paper that Mr.. and Mrs. Thambynayagamplllai are
now on a visit TO Kovllkudyirruppu. MI Thamoy-
| nayagampillai is the son OF Judge O. S Arianay-
agamplllai and son-in-law OF Mr. A. Jambuingam-
mudelliar From this it is easy to reach the con-
cusion that society reporters in India lead busy
and interesting life.
How are you getting or In your clay modelling,
Kittie?" ~
"Oh-just lovely: I'm devoted TO it
This Is n fine head who Is a.? =, 4,
"Goodness-dont ask me ism ne ne sTser Erart,,r =. &.
| Detroit Free Press.
Ivnching prevents crime I'm spite OF the fact" II
| savs that Sam Hose burned at the stake
in Georgia his horrible crime continues 10 be COM
| mitted by negroes In Georgia. and even IN tha'
! part OF Georgia where Hose was burned. We nave
recorded within the last two weeks more than hair
a dozen such cases and in yesterdays Times we
recorded three The things seem TO get
worse instead of better In the light Of this fact
saws The Columbia State. Is II not true that the
horrors OF the Hose lynching were wasted, that ts
cruetles failed OF their purpose, that they damhed
the whites who committed II while they did not
daunt the black criminals. and that the white
women e that section are even less secure than
they beforeT
'In the report OF my sermon printed in your
paper This morning." complained the popular
clergyman you mis9u9te me ,oA -onor,or
II spoke Of the slim attendance at one ne OF N, ne
| church meetings during the week; anu you MAKE
me saw IT not my fault Blame the
| weather. "
but doctor begging your pardon. those were
YOUR exact words. | heard you say them.
Yes but didn't use that exclamation point
| Chicago Tribune
The Christian people OF Webster city. Ia. say
that a remarkable answer to prayer recently oc-
Cured in that town Little Ethel Howard nine
years old petitioned every night that she might
get the prze offered a result OF a three months
voting contest for the most popular little girl In
the town Ethers vote was 94ij against Helen
Beaumonts eOSl and Irene Merrilrs 5,ooo
Ada (soothngly)-Perhaps II was meant as COM
pliment?
Clara (unsoothed)-oh no. II wasn'ti The idea Of
saying have q common sense waist!-tPuck.