Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1899-10-13
A MUTILATED POET
Cut Up Almost as Badly as His Al
legged Bit of Genuine Verse.


legged Bit of Genuine Verse.
When Western editor was sitting
IN his office one day, man whose
brow was clothed with thunder en-
tered. Fiercely selling chair, he
slammed his hat on the table, hurled
his umbrella on the floor, and sat
down.
Are you the editorr he asked.
Eyes"
Can you read writIngi"
"Of course"
"Read that. then" he said, thrusting
at the Colonel an envelope, with an in
scription upon it.
B" said the Colonel, trying to
spell II.
"That's not b. It's an s." said the
man.
'S oh yes: see! Well, 1t looks like
Salt for dinner or Souls OF Sinners I"
said the colonel.
No. SIR" replied the man; nothing
OF the kind! That's my name-Samuel
III. Drummer. l knew you couldn't read.
l called 10 see about that poem Of mine
you printed the other day, on the Sur
cease of Sorrow ="
81 don't remember It," said the
Colonel
"Of course you don't, because It went
INTO the paper under the Infamous
title of 'Smearcasc Tomorrow
~ blunder Of the compositor's,
suppose"
Yes, sir, and that's what want to
see YOU about. The way in which that
poem was mutilated was simply scan
dalous haven't slept night since. 1t
exposed me to derislon. People think
that am an ass. Let me show YOU.
The first line when / wrote 1t read in
this way:
Lying by weeping willow, under
meath gentle slope.
That Is beautiful, poetic, affecting.
Now, how did your vile sheet present
II to the public?
Lying to weeping widow to Induce
her to elope.
Weeping widow. mind you! A widowI
Oh. thunder and lightning; This Is too
much,
But look n-hcre mt the fourth verse.
That's worse yet:
Cast thy pearls before the swine and
lose them IN the dirt.
He sets II mp In this fashion:
Cart thy pills before the sunrise and
love them If they hurt
Now, Isn't that Old-blooded outra pe
on mans feelings? I'll leave IL to
YOU II il isn't
ITS hard, THAT'S n fact" said the
Colonel.
And then take the fifth verse. In the
original manuscript 1t said, plain rs
daylight
Take away the iingling money; 1t Is
only glittcring dross.
In Its printed form you made me saw:
rake away the tingling honey; put
some flies I'm for the boss.
By George. I felt like Draining YOU
with fire shovel! I was never so cut
up In my life. There, for instance, was
the sixth verse. wrote:
l am weary of the tossing OF the ocean
as 1t hcavcs.
1t is Il lovely line, too But imagine NV
horror and the anguish OF my family
when opened your paper and saw the
line transformed into:
am wearing out my trousers till
they're open Mt the knees.
Tlint Is little too much. That seems
to mo like carrying the thing an inch or
two too far. | think I have n copsti-
tutional right to murder that composit-
or: don't you?"
81 think you have"
let me read YOU one more verse. 7
wrote.
l swell the dying echoes as they roam
among the hills.
And feel my soul awakening to the
ecstasy that thrills
Now. what do you s'pose your misera-
Die ontcast turned that into? Why, in
to this:
smell the frying shoes as they coast
along the bulls,
And | peel my soul mistaken in tho
.'rr'tary that whirlS
l must STAY that man. Where is he?"
He is out just now" said the
Colonel. Come in tomorrow"
II WILL said the poet; "and l will
come armed.