The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-07-02
b D.
BY w. L. ALDEN.

Windsor Magazine
eyes, sir" remarked the Hon. Daniel Smith,
formerly of the American consular service "a great
many curious things happen to a consul 1 could
tell you experiences Of mine that rather calculate
would astonish you some, provided Of course that
you willing to believe them. For instance 1
once stood three-weeks siege by thirty-two Amer1-
can old maids, and l tell you / pretty badly
scared If you care to hear the story l don't mind
telling it to YOU though general thing care
full not to speak of it to my fellow-countrymen
along in 1886 1 was the American consul at
Aragua, town in the south Of Spain, about hun
dred miles from the coast. The place didn't need an
American consul any more than a needs a
bicycle, for it had trade with America and no
American tourist dreamed of stopping there.
However, the president was personal friend Of
mine, and he wanted to do a good turn so he
appointed me consul at Aragua, with a salary just
about large enough to keep from starvation. 1
nightly pleased with the appointment until
got to Aragua and found what lonesome dead-and-
alive place it 1t had about ten thousand nhabi-
tants and, with the exception of the chief of police
and two three priests, there wasn't a soul in the
whole town that a sensible could talk with for
half hour. The chief of police was a capital fell
low who had been in New York and could talk con-
siderable English He and l pretty thick and
he was always ready to do anything that l asked
him to do. Then good old Don Diego priest that
had made up his mind to convert me to the Roman
Catholic church. did his level best to make himself
agreeable. and if it hadn't been that all the voters
my section of Iowa Protestants, should have
felt like turning Catholic just to obige him. for
got to say that could speak Spanish mddling welk
That was the why the president sent me to
Spain He said it would be a novelty for consul to
speak the language of the country to which ne
sent and he wanted to see how the experiment would
work.
cone of the first things that an American consul
in Europe finds out is that it with American
tramps Two three times week a ragged, dirty
scoundrel would come to my office and demand help
on the ground that he American citizen.
Usually he German, Russian, a Polish
Jew who said that he had been naturalized in Amer
lea and had lost his papers. l suppose that ninety
nine times in a hundred the fellow lied, and was no
more an American citizen than the king of Spain
HIMSELF but didn't to take the chances that he
mpOster and treat him such. Once did
brace up and tell man who could only speak a few
words of English and who said that he had left his
papers in his boarding house. that he fraud.
He burst into tears, and after fumbling his pocket
produced lot of dirty papers among which was ii
naturalization certificate. signed by the clerk of a
New York court who old friend of mine I
begged the mans pardon and lent him S. the spot
but year afterwards / a New York paper con-
tanning of the brutal and outrageous treat
ment that American citizen had received at the
hands of the American consul at Aragua. That was
lesson to me, and after that 1 never disputed any
mans assertion that he American citizen
knowing that if he really naturalized Amerf
he might have friend in congress who would
deneunce me a unfit to hold office and would
either have turned out or have my consulate
abolished.
"Of course. couldn't give money to all this army
of tramps, but furnished them with railroad tickets
to the nearest seaport. The chief of police had au
thority to send all rogues and vagabonds out of the
province. and whenever 1 sent tramp to him. with
the request that he would give the third-class
ticket and send him on his way. the chief would do
It matter of This would have been all
right had it not been that the American consul at
Avlas, the seaport to which l sent my tramps grew
indignant and before had been a month in Aragua
wrote to me accusing me of sending him all the
tranps in Spain and promising to make it lively for
me if didn't quit it. This made mad and after
that told every tramp who to to go straight
to the consul at Avilas, who was very rich and
would be certain to give him money. 1t hard on
the consul admit for he at the end of the rail-