The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1899-07-21

Would you say honest politics 10
or areY" us Of course. Hones,
politics is always singular"
apolls Journal.
$50 old Yabsley is dead, eh? Wen
well! Did he leave anythIng?o "voa
1t broke his heart to do it, but he Ice.
everything. "-Tt-Blts.
Vera Goodhcart-Mrs.V Won TAM, &c
great social light, Isn't she? Ida
Nownce-Well, rather! Regular gour.
Hundred scandal-power.--Life.
Mrs. Captain Bragglngton-Mv hus-
band won renown on the tented gaId
Sally Gay-Why, didn't know he had
ever Travelled with a circusl-Pucl.
In 1900; Teacher-Willie, tell the
class about the battle of San Juon
Willie -to-Date-Whose story do Won
want-Shafters Or s?-Brooklyn
Life.
Biggs-I once wrote for Sribbler's
Magazine. Boggs-Did you? Biggs-
Yes; but they refused to send il to ma
unless l paid my subscription in ad.
yance.--EX.
McFingle-P Broomel.. He's gone
over to the silent majority. McFangle
-Why-I-when did he-is he dead2
McFlngle-Well, no; but he's married
-Tit-Bits
"Some day." said the high-browed
young man, 81 expect to have the
world at my feet" what have Won
been doing all this time" snarled the
cynic; walking on your handsY-
Washington Star.
Mallaby- Bragleigh boasts that no
living man could forge his name sue
cessfully to a check and get it cashed.
Has he such a very peculiar signature?
Homans-No; but he hasn't any money
In the bank.-Tit-Bits
Dobbs-There's a man who SLAVES
several times a day. Wiggln-You
don't mean it? Should think thered
be nothing left OF his face. Dobbs-
1t doesn't hurt his face at all. He is
barber.-Harlem Life.
81 should like to know when you are
going 10 pay that bill. l can't come
here every day in the week" what
day would suit you bestY "Satur-
day." Very well, then, you can call
every Saturday. "-Tit-Bits.
Schoolmaster-So, then, the reptile is
creature which does not stand on
feet, and moves along by crawling on
the ground. Can any one of you boys
name me such a creature? Johnny
Please, sir, my baby brother.-Tit-Bits.
Colonel, you swear positively that
your regiment never received a pound
of embalmed beef in Cuba. How is it
possible for you to be so absolutely
certain" Because my regiment never
got farther than Tampa, sir."-Detroit
Free Press.
"They's to be some kind of musical
doin's at our church next "Wednesday
night, I've forgot what they call it,"
"Mebby it's a recital" "No; recitals is
Sor pianos. Our church has got an or
pan. guess it's an orgy they're goin'
to have. "-Exchange.
Papa-See the spider, my boy, spin
ming his web. Is it not wonderful
Do you reflect, try as he may, no man
could spin that web? Johnny-What Of
it? See me spin this top! Do you re-
fleet that try as he may, no spider
could spin this top?-Household Words.
Would-be Swells at the Opera: First
Swell pretending to mistake for Il
waiter 4 rival whom he sees standing
in dress clothes at the cloak-room OF
the theater)-Ah! have you a programE
Second Swell (up to snuff)-Thanks'
my man, got one from the other fell
low.-EXchange.
Johnny" said a teacher to South
Side grocerymans G-year-old, "a lie can
be acted as well as told. Now, if your
father would put sand in his sugar ana
sell it he would be acting lie and do
ing very wrong" That's what moth
er told him." said Johnny, impetuous-
ly; "and he said he didn't care
Columbus Journal.
ITS hard to be happy, once you've
got a reputation for saying sarcastic
things" remarked the sad-eyed man.
whats the troubleT I've lost an
other friend. l complimented him on
being the most cool-headed person
ever saw. lie took it as an alluslon
to the fact that he is totally bald.
Washington Star.
lnventor-Tve hit a money-making
thing at last. The preachers VIII 20
wild over it, and it will sell like not
cakes. It's a church contribution poA'
Friend-What.good is that? Inventor
It's triumph. The coins fall through
slots of different sizes, and half-croWns'
shillings and siXpences land on yellet'
but the pennies and half-pennies drop
on to a Chinese gong.-Tit-Bits.
The Lady-Ill give you a good meal
if you will cut up some of that wood
The Tramp-Sorry, but l cant accom-
modate you, madam. The Lady-Ioo
lazy to work, l suppose? The Tramp
Not that, madam, not that. l woulu
be false to my trust. You see, I'm
member of the Society for the Preser-
Walton of the American Forests, ana
we never cut any wood.-Honkers
Statesman.
An Irishman, in order to celebrate
the advent of new era, went out on
mN