Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1899-02-21
h THREE BOTTLE COMEDY.

A THREE BOTTLE COMEDY.
By ". E. NORRIS.
tCopyrisht 1885 by the Autkor.l
lcoSTISUKD.
Thus II was that Sir Thomas failed
to bring about . dramatic situation
which he had designed with much fore
thought and self sacrifice. He was pur.
posely the last to enter the drawing
room before dinner. but the swift
Rlances which he threw TO right and
left Of him made him aware that Mrs.
Alston was not among the 90 or 30 per-
sons there assembled. 1t was Hamlet"
with the title role omitted, and he was
soon to learn that his own part in the
play had been undertaken to no pur.
pose.
Upon the rest Of the company the
effect produced by his appearance waA
to be sure, all that could have been de-
sired. and even little more. A sudden
pause in the conversation. followed by
a general gasp. greeted the entrance Of
this dappcr little gentleman, whose face
exhibited the lines that belonged To his
years, while his hair, eyebrows and
mustache had the golden beauty of
early youth.
HAS he gone mad;'' whispered the
awestruck Mrs. Longworth TO her neigh.
bor why, he was as gray as q badger
two hours agor
But Sir Thomas, having been prepared
to create sensation. advanced imper.
rurbably to his hostess, who. recovering
her self possession with an effort, pro-
ceeded to tell him how very sorry she
was that poor Mrs. Alston was suffer
ing agonies fiom neuralgia.
''She sent some time ago to say that
she wouldn't be able to appear this
evening. and now have just had sec
ond message. asking for carriage to
take her TO the station to meet the 10
o'clock train tomorrow. She declares
that she must bc ut home when these
fits Of neuralgia seize her, and that they
always last "a week.
Sir Thomas jaw fell. but you
won't let her go!" he expostulated.
"Don n't-don't let her so until che has
seen mer
Mn. Longworth was kind hearted
woman. She surveyed her eager sup
plant with good na,ured compassion,
and then, bending forward. "Do you
know. Sir Thomas. che answered in q
low voice, IL think IL would DO letter
for her not to see you-as you are ut
present. Much better not ~
Sir Thomas fell back with unspoken
maledictions The eyes Of his fellow
guests were fixed upon him, and their
countenances expressed neither admira.
tion nor respect. In the background
Lord Arthur Fulton, the onls person
present who possessed the key TO the
enigma. was doubled up with convul-
sions Of merriment.
"Oh. it's all very fine for you to
laugh. you young jackanapes, mutter-
ed Sir Thomas vindictively, "but,
thank God. I'm not the only one who
has made fool Of himself! Ii will take
you all your time TO stick to your sad
die tomorrow. l suspect"
Lord Arthur. il was true. was feeling
rather queer and rather feeble, but he
was young. he had vigorous constitu-
ton. and. a. Jenkinson had foretold
would be the case. he was already able
TO look forward to his dinner with
pleasursble anticipation. As u matter
Of fact he did enjoy his dinner very
much indeed. and one reason for his
doing SO was that nearly the whole
length Of the table separated him from
the fascinating Mrs. Naylor. He WAS .
simple. innocent creature. He had still
q great deal TO learn. but he was as
similating knowledge by slow degrees
(which is much the best way OF grow
ing wise), and he began to perceive
that neither the Mrs. MAYORS nor the
Mrs Alstons Of this world are worth .
tenth part of the agitation which they
manage TO stir up. II was perhaps Q
little ridiculous Of him to be shocked
because one lady dyed her hair, while
another was given to indulging in pri.
va,e sips Of curacao. Still, IL he had
not been shocked, he might easily have
become even more ridiculous. So that
he had nj least as good cause for self
congratulation as the rejuvenated Sir
Thomas, who had quite superfuously
converted himself into an object Of
ridicule.
Miss Longworth, who. rs il happen.
ed, had been placed On Lord Arthur's
left hand, put an abrupt and somewhat
embarrassing question to her neighbor
presently. "why did you laugh at the
poor old fellow in that undisguised
way:" she asked. "Hs saw you, and he
didn't like it.
"I'm sorry il he saw me, the young
man replied, "but really couldn't help
myself. Isn't it enough to make any.
body laugh:"
~ don't think SO. think it is pain.
full and disgusting. What could have
made him do such thing? However,
am thankful, for his sake, that Mrs.
Aston hasn't come down and that she
il leaving tomorrow.
"Well, yes: but it would have been
| rather joke il Mrs. Aston had come
down, and I'm not sure that the laugh
would have been upon her side then. "
Lord Arthur" said the girl, max
ing half turn, 30 as to face the speak.
er, ~ believe some horrid practical joke
has been played, and l believe you are
at the bottom of il. What does it all
| mean?"
Lord Arthur pulled himself together.
He could not possibly tell her what II
meant, but he saw that she was dis
pleased at the idea of his having played
practical jokes upon her parents guests,
and he was unwilling to displease her.
Therefore he felt entitled to exonerate
himself by answering:
81 give you my word Of honor that
am guiltless. do know something. but
/ mustn't explain, and dare say yor
will hear the truth some day. Indeed
you are almost sure to hear 1t, for Sil
Thomas is too infuriated to hold hi
tongue For the present it would b
i n l..