The times., 1899-07-02
THE PARABLE OF PEACE.
Being an Account of Certain Hap
peniugs mt The Hague.

Being an Account OF Certain Hnp-
peninEs mt The Hague.
Now. it came TO pass that when the
Americanites. had done battle with the
Hispanolites and had scattered their enc
mics to the bottom OF the sea and to the
stars in the heavens certain ruler OF the
land OF Russia who was called the Gar
sent his messengers into all lands and unto
all rulers bearing tidings OF good will and
saying. Behold. let US have peace. Let us
lay aside our spears and cur arrows, and
our siings and our shields. and let no
man fight. For it is written that only the
wild beasts may fight, and all mankind
should be at peace. therefore, let us meet
and consider peace and let US build tower
of peace
And the rulers OF the nations Of the
earth were pleased with the covenant OF
peace, and they winked their eyes and
grinned much. saying. Verify. this is a
tunny snap; but we will call the bluff"
And they gathered together the warriors
ana the men-at-arms and said unto them:
we go TO make peace and to disaru See
thou to il that no man sleeps, and let every
man have double rations Of arrows ana
Shields"
And the place chosen for the Tower Of
Holland And every ruler sent there his
centurions and chief warriors according 10
his liking. And no man had weapons GRID
ed about his loins. bat large looking bun
dies were hidden beneath the raiment And
when the chosen had come to the place
of meeting they we're met at the gates
by the guards, who said: Verify, there
must be no brutality. We must needs be
assured that thou hast a sufficient num-
Der OF sheckeis in thy raiment with which
to pay thy beard bills, and We further ask
promise that the Brussels ring rules be
Observed
And when covenant had been made the
chosen entered The Hague, where peace
was. And those who came were many and
exceeding much and were versed in war
fare and In Staying the greatest number
with the least parley. And when they were
seated they sized up one the other, saying:
rs that potato the best they could raise
| In the land OF Franee?" and who is YOU
cigar box, wearing the badge OF the Con-
| fucinsites?" and Verify. observe that fat
headed Turk trying to get front seat"
! Whereupon were they called to order and
| the things for which they were assembled
were explained unto them. And he who
sat at their head cried aloud saying: I'VE
viii open the gathering with a peace cock
tail as oysters are out of season." And a
strange voice was heard crying from the
distance: BLESSED are the peacemakers
I for they shall see William the Second
Now it happened that William the Sec
I ond was of the land of Germany and when
! he was announced with much trumpeting
/ and beating of cymbals, the chosen who
sat in The Heague held him in derision.
saying: Verify he mindeth US of iagon
of milk, and Whence came this gasoline
I autowarrior?" and I'm sooth the pro-
| gramme sayeth nothing of comic opera"
- And he who sat at their head spake say
ing: Verify We are concert and We
must render an hymn of peace" And
when the concert began The Hague trem-
bled and the sun moved not in the
/ heavens, for it was a concert OF horrible
discord. For behold one opened his mouth
and sang, "Hoch der Kaiser" and another
"A bas l. Hague" and still others were
there who sang, What Did Dom Paul Do
to Them" and We're the Men Who Put
the Chinese in the Soup" and Praise
| Krupp from Whom All Big Guns Flow
7 and .There1l Be a Hot Time When You
Tread on the Yankee Eagles Toes" and
much other music and strange sayings.
And when William the Second heard all
this he was exceeding angry and cried.
| 'Pcof, / am the chosen OF the chosen.''
| But they hearkened not unto him. but held
/ him in sore derision.
I
much of soreness and blew upon The
! Hague with his breath but The Hague re-
/ fused to vanish. And William the Second
! srake unto the chosen, saying, "Praise ye
unto the Rhine that am not as are other
| men," And the chosen smote him with
monumental vegetables, and he departed
: into his own land. where he gave orders
/ that guns Of 60 eubits big be built and war
arks of 3oo-score cubits long, that peace be
| maintained.
And the chosen were filed with peace
! and sat in The Hague and considered. And
the third subcommittee Of the second sub
| committee of the committee on the means
whereby the enemy might be slain report
ed that such missiles as contained knock
| out drops were not to be used in warfare
! when fighting with an enemy. And 1t
was also agreed upon that any old kind OF
missiles might be used against such tribes
as were without civilization and knew
not the benefits of peace.
And the Czar of the land called Russia,
being much pleased with the meeting OF
peace at once ordered great stores of bull
lets OF many barleycorns In size and many
score of great guns OF many cubits big
And those representing the lands of Eng
land and France and Japan and China and
others also ordered much of ammunition
and great guns and battle arks. And
when great stores had been obtained and
hidden away the chosen cried out together
with a loud noise: Verify, peace is all
right. Let US disarm" But no man made
, pretence at disarming and all was well.
And the chosen cried out saying. Let
us endorse the peace of the Americanites
for they are indeed peaceful. See we not
that their great Chief is slow to send war
riors 10 the Philippines. and would rather
the savages hold sway for time than to
cruelty wage war when peace should be-?
And the British delegates thought on
Egypt, and the Germans on the Carolines
e and they purchased many rickeys and
were comforted.
But the Filipinos arose in one land and
the Dreyfusites in another and the Boers
in another, and the chosen held council
saying: Peace is no good. Long live
peace" And they departed each into his
own land to do battle with the enemies
/, : These things came to pass in the trsi
> year OF the Cuban standing army. Selah!
5 Health Record.
a 5prou, Tho CT Inuis CIobe- -DemOcratl