New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-04-22

wounded head, muttered "G!
Accompanied by How the d.!
maid who said: "Tm such J!
Hereafter shall play cro-K."
Disingenuous Sorrow.-Benevoent Old Lady
What are you crying for, my dear? o,. % h,,v
Weekly. "'''e''
What to Eat says that the father of a family.
becoming annoyed at the fault-fnding OF his chill
dren over their food. exclaimed In rage one day
at dinner: You children are intolerable; you turn
I'D your noses at everything When | was boy
I was often glad enough to get dry bread to eat"
Poor papa" said Rose. the pet Of the family;
Il am glad you are having such nice times
now living with mamma and US.
The Despondent Amorlst-It's no good, old man.
She says that her decision is irrevocaoe: A
The Cheerful Cynic-Then cheer up, my boy.
woman who has the audacty to make such state
ment as that can't possibly know her own mind
Uondon Punch.
Last summer" says an English writer, "a friend
presented us with tortoise. l do not know
whether our dog had heard of turtle soup or
whether he regarded the creature as a new kind
of bone that walked about at any rate, he deter
mined to eat II.
Whenever the tortoise started out on constitu-
tional down the garden path, Gyp arrested 1t and
carried 1t into his kennel where he gnawed at the
impenetrable armor till his jaws ached.
The calm and philosophical manner in which the
tortoise resumed its interrupted promenade irrl-
tated the dog exceedingly, but no failure discour-
aged him. Whenever reminded him OF the tor
toise, he would go In search of 1t all round the
garden peerng into every crevice. till eventually
the creature was found, and then fresh attempts
made to extract the meaty portions from the
she'll"
new plan for raising sunken cargoes Of metal.
such as steel rails will shortly be tested In, the
Delaware Bay. A suitable crane boat VIII pc De
incased In watertight coverings, capable Of lltt;
ing four thousand pounds each Inc s w snd
connected to the dynamos by flexible cables; They
II is also claimed by the inventor that by letting
magnets drag over the beds of channels valuable
cargoes which have lain submerged for years can
be Observation-Disclosures Record.
with big Colts revolver and a belt OF cartridges
strapped around her waist Fort Worth Tex.
woman rode into Fort Scott a bicycle at 10
o'clock yesterday morning from the south on Main
st." says The Fort Scott (Kan) Monitor" The
advent of this apparent female adventurer created
considerable amusement for the uptown people: In
addition to her cowboy appearance she was at
tired in a blue skirt brown leggings and sailor
hat A small grip strapped on the handle bars
Of her wheel The woman seemed TO admire the
curiosity she causing, and she rode rapidly to
Pennman's hardware store ringing her bell every
few yards She refused to give her name, but
enough
from Fort Worth and was en- route to New-York
intending TO make the trip In twenty days. She
STAYED here but few minutes and then left for
Kansas City"
Jda-You don't seem to like Miss Lispnot?
Etta-No I don't. She is just hateful The lots
OF things she knows about the people IN our street
and she won't tell them to anybody.-(Boston Tran
script.
Robert Crawford tells this story In South Ameri-
can Sketches" "a pavo del monte. bird OF Uru
quay not unlike the turkey, had been winged by
hunter 1t fell TO the ground but was at once On
It's feet and away Throwing his gun hastily
aside the hunter started In pursuit. and game OF
hide nd seek ensued. In and out of the brush
wood the pavo ran. and the man followed. In one
of its doubings and turnings the bird passed over
the gun which was lying on the ground and It's
foot CHANGED to strike against the trigger or the
undischarged barrel the hammer OF which, In the
hurry Of the moment. had been left at full cock.
There was loud report, followed by an exclama-
ton OF pain from the man. The bird escaped, and
the luckess hunter had an ugly wound in the feshy
part of his leg to remind him for weeks afterward
of the adventure
Proof Postlve.-Tommy Brown-Is your big sister
engaged to Mr. White?
S0sle GresnNO sh che se s sGs wan" to
Susie Green-No but she knowed he was comm
tonight. an she eat onions AT supper.-tCathohc
Standard and Times
author
that at a certain English church many years ago.
while the clergyman was reading prayers. man
walked in shouted 1--WE got uni" and Immediately
withdrew. He had sounded well-known call.
Every farmer and laborer who possessed gun
soon followed him. and in hour two brought
to the village inn the fox they had shot.
Spirituality In those days at a very low ebb,
and some clergymen cared more for sport than for
the example they set to their hocks. Bishops tried
to discountenance hunting a clerical pastime. but
the law did not enable them to remove the Offend
ers from their livngs DR.. Phpotts. Bishop of
Exeter, who called to account several sporting
clergymen In his diocese. met one OF them at
friends house.
Il am told my lord that you object to my hunt
ing" said the clergyman.
Dear me- who could have told you sou an
swered the bishop. What object to Is that you
should do anything else
They Dlner;-"Your salary. believe. is $3.50 a
5. saS aed Sa the star was in confidential
well. one Of them is"
Yes The salary | advertise Is $3.50 week, but
the salary get-wc. that's another story."-tchi-
cago Post.
The Arkansas Legislature has passed game law
that will subject 10 fine woman wearing a
stuffed bird her hat IL provides that ANY
person who shall have In possession or who shall
sell expose f6r sale any feathers skins
parts OF birds for use In millinery similar pur-
poses. shall XIII for such purposes any birds in
this State. shall be deemed guilty OF msdemeanor.
and upon conviction shall be fined not less than s25
nor more than so for each bird skin part OF
skin parcel OF feathers sold offered for
gale or killed for that purpose"
AT a cafe group OF gentlemen were discussing
politics young fellow entered and Joined in the
but his argument did not please the
Others and one OF them said TO HIM BE quiet. At
your age ! was an ass myself: