New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-03-13
THE talk or THE DAY.

Fort Scott boy with the Goth Kansas Regiment
writes home "Agulnado has sure got the natives
here on his LIST. SO much ignorance is displayed
on the islands that the insurgents think you can
not XIII them. They say If yoL shoot AT Agunaldo
he Just shakes his clothes and the bullet falls out
Of his clothes / would Ike to get crack at him
at about two hundred yards with Old Betz I'll
bet that would soon end the war"
Il had my picture taken to-day said little
Christine II crossed my arms and leaned on "A
chair and the pcture-man put my head IN some
Why. You must have looked like lump Of
sugar IN suear-tongs." laughed papa: .,,u,.
lltie girl, (What Eat.
The Aud LIGHT Church at Kirricmulr Thrums.
scotland made famous 10y i. VI Barrie" seems 10
have fallen upon evil days. William G. Conn. tho
little minister" has resigned because the oder
members Of his congregation said he was TOO
broad" having preached In the pulps OF other de-
nominations Although the Presbytcry acquitted
him Of all blame Mr.. Conn could not be persuaded
10 remain There are. 10y the way. only twenty
seven churches in Scotland and two m ireland
which are now included in the synod 81 United
Original scccdcrs." fact which reminds The
Phrodclphla Press Of the reply made by an old
Scot when asked after the welfare 81 his church
.'NVeeL" ne said 'ye ken ( this way, first. there
were hurnerd o. us. Then there was a schlsm
an tha left but hriy. An then there
heresv trial which took ava twenty-five Then A
description left only my brother Donald an myself
an have sair douts o Donalds orthodoxy"
"rt Is nv intention" said the newly married man
at an oak Park dinner recently. TO have our pct-
ures taken with my wife's hand my shoulder b"
And l." responded another man Of more ,e.Xperl-
wlfe's hand on my pocketbook "-Chicago News.
The drink bill OF Great Britain. just published
shows that the Englishman drinks 2i1 gallons Of
alcohol a year. Next 10 him comes the Scotchman
with an appetite saked with Lee gallons The
Irishman contents himself with Ia gallons. The
first spends $50 30 year for his drinks the second
81 . and the third sl3 %
Tender-hearted one--Ah. my good man. yours is
indeed. a sad case But adversely tries us all you
know and reveals many Of good qualities
Ruefu Robert-Oh, but II wornt adversely wot
e didn't put ITSELF TO no Inconvenience about me
good qualities. you bet mum'-(Fun.
1.-THE Philadelphia Times" tells OF a we-known
rector in that city who had an experience a short
time ago which was at least novel Two children
(irst cousinsl brought 20 the church at
Sunday morning service 10 be baptized. Their
grandmother acted az the principal godmother
When the rector took the first child in his arms
be propounded the usual question Name thla
child" The godmothcr answered Dewey" A
perceptibe smile Immediately pervaded the con-
gregaton. When the next child was presented
the question was OF course asked. the
prompt reply was "Hobson." and the smile ripplcd
into something sounding much like suppressed
laughter. while the solemn ceremony per-
formed with becoming dignity.
Let me give YOU some advice" said the Lawyer
proceeds" yentured the Beggar, trying not TO seem
forward
stances fine words can be made Indirectly TO but
ter parsnips.-(Detroit Journal