Evening star., 1899-03-25
HIS OPINION OF CYRANO

| ny tHe iolioWlng, Wnlcn ne delivered out
of one corner of his mouth turned down.
| ward:
Say, has any o you ducks seen this
| Cy-ranno dee Berg-er-aek show? Nix?
Well, don't you. It's frost. 1 seen 1t last
| night. Coughed up three-er to buy a
| place to sit down, at that. Didn't get a
| run for my nuggets. Never had such a mix
| trun into me since give up V to see that
| mixed-ale go between Dan Creedon and
| Jack Bonner. This Mansfield gezebu's all
right, but he's got a bum part l seen him
long time ago playin the part of a coach
man, or something like that, who turns up
| IN the stretch to be an ace-th Juke OF
Schn1tZenoppelweisktZy, or Somethin like
that-plays the py-ano in the show, and
makes good all around. Then l seen him
| In show where he takes the part of an
old Frencharino duck who has stacked up
shake all over all the time, an he done
this up to the limit and made Garrison
finish of 1t with a glass o booze in his
| mitt when he passes under the wire. But
he amt given no chanst fr his white alley
| In this slob of a Cy-ranno show. l felt
| like givin' that big-nosed trouble hunter
poke all through tn piece, and II I'd ha'
| been some O. tn lily livers that he puts 1t
on in tn show with that bum cheese knife
O his. I'd ha' had him out an tn ten sec
onds counted on him before he had chanst
t make a bleat Never seen duck with
such case o. the big nut in me life, an
along, all TIL tin horns in tn bunch bein
afraid t hand him one with the machetes
that they all pack around just fr the bluft.
"This Cy-ranno show happened way back
in the times when the men-well, they had
hair on their mugs, anyhow-Wore lace
sewed onto the bottom o. their velvet an
cretonne knee pants, an ostrich feathers
on their lids an put stickin' plaster patch
es on their phizes like wimmen, an wore
pig -stickers that got between their legs an
trun 'en down onct in while, an looked
like Willie boys done up FIR one o these
here masked parlor SOciafs. This bioke Cy-
| ranno is sodierin FIR wages with a gang O.
Whyo toughs thatre called cadets, but
they all look old enough t eat hay, at that.
Cy-ranno's got smeler on him that makes
him look like a false face Reminded me
o TIL thumb of boXin glove. He's dead
sore on this trunk, an nobody dassent say
rothin' about noses when he's around, he's
got 'em all faded with tn bluff he puts
UP. He's always got this nose O. his poked
into somebody's else's bizness, and he walks
around FIR three hours. azhuntin' FIR bother.
He's got these cadets of his outfit conned
to a standStill, and they think he's 1t.
Well, in tn first act he gifts mixed UP with
a lot o mammals baby boys in a teayater,
an he gives one of 'em a jab with his tin
sword. a-shootin' stuff that sounds like
po'try while he's doin' it. Then he goes on
a-tellin what q hot card he is, an winds
tn act up by startin' out to do up hun
dred guys that are layin FIR a fren o. his
Ihey must ha' been stifts, tn whole bunch
EN- look like zinc dollars
Well. this Cyranno the Big-head's
stuck on cousin O. his called Rocks-Ann-
skirt that seems t have nobody to look
after her but an old hash-slinger. an she's
let run around whole lot too loose ac-
cordin' to tn way tn bonnets are piped
IN by their folks nowadays. This Cy-ranno
with the sweled lid knows he ain't got mo
chancst t win out this Mag O. his, on ac-
count o his big smeller, but he goes right
on moonln over, anyhow. between talkfn'
ABOUT now he can eat his weight in rattle
snakes. an all that kind O. cheap chin
music. He meets her In TIL kitchen of a
feed joint in act II, an she tells him she's
got 1t bad over young slob of a s13-a-
nonther that's just Joined Cy-rannos push
O bum soldiers. Cy-ranno looks like he's
got tn colo when she truns this at him.
But he says he'll take care O. her mash.
Then this pretty Percy boy-he's called
shows up. an, after lot of cheap e11ff. in
which he mentions this Cy-ranno's smeIler.
just t make tn other bum soldiers stare
an his bluff isn't called, because, v see,
t take care o. him. Then tn two softies
get talkin' about what nice eyebrows
Rocks-Ann has got, an Cy-ranno like the
selling platter he Is, offers to do the sparkin'
f'r tn pretty boy, who amt strong when
1t gifts to chewin' the rag with young VIM
men folks.
''In tn third act the bulge-headed Cy-
ranno stands under a window an throws a
love con into Rocks-Ann, she not KNOWN
any better all tn time than t. think she's
listenin' to tn CUFF of her pretty boy who's
hidin' in the shadow. Then big mob that's
also stuck on Rocks-Ann heaves In an
t tn barracks an git ready fr a war that's
goin' on somewheres. They fool this mob
up some, an the Willie soldier an the skirt
git spliced in dOuble-time, an then her man
an Cy-ranno go a-pikin off to the war
"Fh fourth act shows lot O. these
cadets that look old enough t. have voted
fr Tilden sittin' around, feelin' their stom-
achs, an bieatin' like a lot O. kids about
bein In need O. porterhouse steaks an pork
chops an other grub. 1t seems there amt
even no emDalmed beef in tn camp an tn
tin soldiers do look like hungry guys at
that This Cy-ranno Jay, though, don't feel
hungry at ALL he says. an goes on readin
PONIES out o book. bet that counterfeit
had some way o gittin chuck on tn side
After while this Rocks-Ann skirt pulls In
in an omnibus. She's come through the
lines just because she's got peroxide hair
an looks nice, an she brings a couple O.
baskets full O. grub fr the soldiers. Th
way they chew it up is caution t snakes
an don't see how tn guys that have t. do
that property eatin' can enjoy their schoon-
ers an cheese sandwiches after tn shows
over.
well. this Rocks-Anns lovely thing, her
husban', y'know, gifts 1t in tn neck when
tn fightin' begins, an she, thinkin' he was
her sparker right along an even TIL writer
o the soft letters that Cy-ranno had trun
together an signed with tn other fellows
name, gifts whole lot O. tn weeps, O. course
when her mans light is put out. Then tn
shootin' begins. an this puff -nutted Cy-
ranno stands up an gifts a volley from
about hundred ducks with blunderbusses
on'y four feet away. You'd think that 'ud
be his wind-up, but hundred bullets or so
don't cut no ice with this chesty geezer, an
he shows up in the wind-up act, fourteen
years later on, an still boots big He's
been knocked on top O. tn lid with a hunk
o wood on his way t. tn convent where
this Rocks-Arn-who don't look a day older
sits in tn yard maxim tidy, an he's a
dead one all right. He shoots out a lot o.
talk that puts Rocks-Ann next to 1t that it
was him, an not tn pretty boy, that write
all them con letters an she gifts dead stuck
on him when he's about t. croak-which is
way wimmin have. Then he stands up
and throws out that old bluff O. his about
what a swell CRATER he is when it comes t.
dfggin' sword into peoples insides an
passes in his chips an cashes out with a
lot O. organ music workin' tn culver an
ain't-this-sad game back behind tn scene
~. Then everybody comes out, sayin'
Wasn't 1t great? without nore'n one in
twenty of EN- KNOWN what tell 1t was all
about, an me a-wishin' 1 had ha' put that
three on horse that could run a block,