davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-01-26
PuNGENT PENClLlNGS.

The dollar in your pocket is worth
two that you owe.
The minister reaps the greatest rev.
enue from matrimonial bonds.
The man who has money to throw at
the birds Is generally afraid of sprain-
ing his wrist.
Although truth may be at the bottom
of the well it somehow never gets into
the milk.
Man embraces woman and therefore
the latter are always included when
you speak of mankind
Can anyone tell us how men gain
anything by exchanging bachelor quar-
tiers for better halves?
woman holding her skirts out of
the mud and an umbrella at the same
time has not much time for flirting.
1t is singular but true that nine out
of every ten men who begin life poor
manage to hold their own to the end
When man undertakes to drown
his troubles he seems to labor under
the impression that they are all located
in his stomach.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-01-26
RED HAIR IN HISTORY.
Sir Walter and Michslet Disagreed About
Unhappy Mary's.


Unhappy Mary's.
The exact tint of the Scottish
Queens hair has always been a vexed
subject Of discussion. Some give It an
unmitigated red. Michelet, for in
stance. who so far forgets himself and
history as to call the poor lady a great
red camel; others, siding with chival-
orous Sir Walter. boldly endow their
martyred Queen and mistress with rich
dark brown tresses. 1t should not be
forgotten. however, that red hair, even
modest auburn, suffered a severe
eclipse during the early years of our
century, whereas, under the Valois, no
one with any pretensions to elegance
could be seen wearing it black. In
this particular, at least, Mary Stuart
must have had the advantage Of Queen
Margot, who inherited her fathers
dark coloring, and was reduced to dis
semble natures shortcomings by the
perruquiers art
We are told of three gigantic blond
lackeys, kept in her service, and
brought to the shears as regularly as
sheep. Brantome, indeed, protests that
his Incompatible Princess could carry
with grace even her natural black
halr twisted and plated a lEspagnol,
as she sometimes wore 1t, in imitation
of her sister, the Queen of SPAIN" But
no such need of insistence one feels
when he comes to praise the curled
golden tresses of the Scottish Queen
"Alas!" he cries, what PROCLAMATION
was that at the dreadful moment Of her
death. when the barbarous executioner
snatched her bonnet, and there lay re-
vealed those same fair locks, now
whitened, thin and wintry, and which
her friends of France had so often seen
but to admire, curled and adorned as
befittted their beauty and the Queen
they graced."
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-01-26
DON'T.

Don't expect to shine in society II
your clothes do.
Don't strain your eyes looking for
faults In your neighbor
Don't get into the habit of judging a
book by the criticisms.
Don't walk thirteen miles before
breakfast after your breakfast.
Don't substitute black tea for green
because the purchaser is color blind.
Don't accuse the fowl of being tough
until you are sure that the knife isn't
dull.
Don't forget that you injure your
own character when you attack that
of another.
Don't carry n barrel of -four on your
lead In order to acquire graceful
carriage.
Don't forget that is wicked to bet
and lose: no man has the moral right
to be wrong.
Don't scold your wife in the presence
OF others; they may think you are
afraid to do it when alone with her.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-01-26

rad only one vote to spare In the sem
! ate. Not in quarter of century has
any senator been subjected to such de-
nunciation as these four Democrats
In Stiles district they held mass
meeting in Allentown and denounced
him for betraying his constituents and
his party. In Boyd's district. in Fayette
and Green counties, the utmost indig-
nation prevails. Congressman-elect
Hall came up from Washington and
gave Neely. the senator from Clarion,
piece of his mind in a vigorous way.
All of these men have been receiving
letters from their constituents, ham,
mering them numerically for their be-
trayal of the people in giving aid to the
Quay machine and the Stone admins
tration.
Speaker Farr, of the house. is the
latest gold brick salesman. There is no
doubt that he has sold the anti-Quay
Republicans a large and shining gold
brick. Farr was Senator Martins
choice for speaker as against the Quay
selection. Martin had the assurance
that Farr would take care of the anti
Quay interests in at least a measurable
fashion. This implied that the Demo-
Gratis would be looked after to some
considerable extent. Instead of that,
Farr has made his appointments and
has not only given the Democrats a
very cold deal. but he has also thrown
down the anti-Quay Republicans and
the Martin men. The insurgent Re-
publicans are incensed against Farr.
lie has filled up the unimportant COM
mittees with anti-Quay Republicans
and given the best that the house af-
bo
Democrats, they have gotten the worst
of it all the way through, and although
they have protested it does no good.
MEMBERS MUST BE PAIRED.
Under the rules offered by Repre-
sentative Dixon, of Elk, in the joint as
Sc mbly, pairs are now being arranged
for regularly. Hereafter no man need
be recorded as absent and not voting
on the senatorship without being
paired. Every man who is absent with
out being paired places himself under
suspicion. whether he be anti-Quay Re-
publican or Democrat The curious
feature of pair arranged by telegraph
was that in the case of Brophy, Demo-
crat of Pittsburg. and Harold. Re-
publican, of Beaver. Constituents are
watching the members of the legisla.
ture very closely, now, and the man
who is absent must either be paired or
else run the gauntlet of every adverse
criticism and have the finger of sus
picion pointed at him.
The coming week promises to be un-
eyentful. The voting will likely go on
the same as usual. Quay has not gotten
within IL votes of a majority. He will
not be able to do any better than this
during the coming week. His vote on
Wednesday was l3 short of a majority.
on Thursday IA, on Friday 13 and on
Saturday IL. The coming week will
doubtless see no change. but there will
be doubtless ID repetition of lying re-
ports about the Democratic forces and
their leaders.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-01-26
FREELAND, PA, JANUARY 26, ls9'
FACTS IN A FEW LINES.

Fine feathers often make sorry Jail
birds.
The boy with made over trousers
takes after his father.
1t is the silent man that is usually
worth listening to.
Satan smiles every time he sees two
men trying to trade horses.
sandbag in the hands of the hold
up man is stunning affair.
The scorcher evidently believes in
putting his shoulder to the wheel
When man is resigned TO his fate
the resignation is usually accepted.
A fashionable shoemaker says that
women can endure pain better than
men.
The coming woman somtimeS has her
troubles with the going man about IL
=. NJ
Whatever prevails is called truth-if
the rule of the majority counts for
anything.
A cheap coat doesn't necessarily
make cheap man, but it makes him
feel that way at times.
Truth is stranger than fiction to most
people probably because they don't
care for an Introduction.
Most youngsters of the present day
learn so rapidly that il Is almost I'M
possible for the high schools to keep
up with them.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-01-26

We offer One Hundred Dollan Re-
ward for sny case Of Catarrh that can
not be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure.
+. j. CHENEY & CO., Props, Toledo,
Ohio.
We the undersigned have known F. J.
Cheney for the last fifteen years, and
believe him perfectly honorable in all
business transactions and financially
able to carry out any obligation made by
their firm.
WEST 4 TRuA1, Wholesale Druggists,
Toledo, o.
WALDISa, KINSAN & MARVIN, Whole
sale Druggists, Toledo, O.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken inter.
nally, acting directly on the blood and
mucous surfaces Of the system. Price,
Zoe. per bottle. Sold by all druggists.
Testimonials free,
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-01-26

Mrs. Sharp-Our daughter is now
nearly 10 years of age and think it is
time she had some kind of a musical
instrument to play on.
Mr.. Sharp-What a remarkable coin
cidence! l had the very same thought
this morning when she was singing in
the dining room.
Mrs. Sharp-What instrument do you
think would be the most suitable?
Mr. Sharp think steam calliope
would be about the proper thing. It's
the only instrument I know Of that
would drown her voice.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-01-26

The muscles Of the human body ex-
ert force of 534 pounds. The guam
tity Of pure water which blood contains
in its natural state is very great; it
amounts to almost -eighths. The
blood is fifth of the weight of one
body. A man is taller in the morning
than at night to the extent of half an
inch OF more, owing to the relaxation
Of the cartilages. The human brain
is the twenty-eighth part Of the body,
but in the horse the brain is not more
than the four hundredth.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-01-26

The lighthouse on Arnish Rock, in
the Hebrides, is about 500 feet from the
shore. To avoid having an attendant
on the rock, the light is produced on
the shore and projected across the wa
ter upon mirrow in the lighthouse,
the mirror rejecting the light in the
desired direction.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-01-26
The Line Drawn.

Watts-Had fifteen women at my
house this afternoon. Some sort of
club my wife belongs to.
Potts-Must have been an awful
racket.
Watts-Not so much as you would
think. Fifteen women make no more
noise than two. You see, there has got
to be a limit somewhere.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-01-26
His Experience.

Isaacs-Did you efer try counting
backward from yum t'ousand' ven you
can't sleep?
Cohenstein-Yes; but dot counting
backward maigs me feel like l vos los
ing moneysh, undt I can't go to sleep
at all!
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-01-26

1t is an inexplicable fact that men
buried in an avalanche of snow hear
distinctly every word uttered by those
who are seeking for them. while their
most strenuous shouts fail to penetrate
even a few feet Of snow.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-01-26

Albert-All the world loves a lover,
you know.
Mildred-You wouldn't say that il
you had heard papas remarks when he
found, yesterday morning, that you had
taken his hat by mistake.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-01-26
ELKIN Is CONFIRMED.

John =. Elltin was confirmed al the
senate last week as the attorney gen.
eral of Governor Stones cabinet. His
confirmation was made possible by the
help of four Democratic senators. viz:
Boyd of Fayette, Haines of York, Nee
ly of Clarion and Stiles OF Lehigh
Even then Elkin. one of the indemnity
bond signers, and man who has been
denounced lot that action by Demo-
,rats and Republicans for two years,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-01-26
Cake Joke.

He-"What is this, dear?"
She-"Pound cake"
Isnt it rather small for its weight ?"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-01-26

In the forest of Tallangatta is tree
known in the district as the Man
Tree" on account of the extraordinary
formation taken by portion of the old
trunk in its process of decay. Owing
to the elevated position of this remark
able natural curiosity, the Statue"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-01-26

An eccentric man is one who has
money enough to keep people from
calling him a crank
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-01-26

A wanderer from the Flowery King
dom recently died in Melbourne. It
transpired at the inquest that he had
been treated by a Chinese physician,
who gave him pills, each the size of a
ducks egg. There were said to be
forty different ingredients in the medi-
cine, including blood, grasshoppers,
ashes, bone dust, clay, dates, honey,
sawdust and ground-up insects
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-01-26

stands out in startiingly bold relief as
one of the last and most curious relics
OF the primeval Australian forest,
which in that district consisted chiefly
Of gigantic gum trees.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-01-26
DEMOCRATS
CONTROL
The Situation at Harrisburg in the
Senatorial Fight Against
Senator Quay.
NOT A BREAK IN THE JENKS LINE

Colonel Gufrey's Splendid Work and
the Enthusiasm of Mr.. Jenks-Gobin
Tries to Control the Joint ConNen-
tion and Fails-A Red Hot Time in
Which the Majority Rules.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1899-09-16

cate that the president contemplates
such action"
Senator McLaurin says, however,
that congress, when it does meet,
ought to get to work as promptly as
possible, because it will have an unus-
ual number Of important questions to
consider. eff the war in the Philip
pines is still in progress" said he, 1--WE
will have to provide means for its
prompt conclusion, and if it is ended,
we will have the future disposition of
the islands to discuss. The people OF
my state are very much divided on the
policy of the administration regarding
the islands; but the general concensus
of opinion is that, as we have got into
the situation we have got to stay. We
cannot afford to retreat now. What
ever may have been the propriety OF
getting into the Philippine war we
must see it settled with honor to our
country. If the war continues, it will
be political issue; but il it ends, l
doubt whether the question of the
permanent retention of the islands
will figure so largely in the next cam.
paign. The trouble with all of US is
that we lack information. l confess
that is the great trouble with me-"
"If our people are not talking much
now about silver" added Senator
McLaurin, sit is because we regard
the position of the Democratic party
on that matter as settled. The tnan-
cial plank of the Chicago platform will
be reafirmed at the next national con-
vention and South Carolina will send
a Bryan delegation to that convention.
There is no opposition to him in the
state.m
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1899-09-16
aeliseellaneous 8eading.
THE MAN WITH THE HOE.
Written after seeing Millet's famous
painting.]

written after seeing Millets famous
painting.]
God made man in his own image,
In the image Of God made ne him; G.r,s,s
Bowed by the weight of centuries he
leans
Upon his hoe and gazes on the ground,
The emptiness of ages in his face,
And on his pack the burden of the world.
Who made him dead to rapture and
despair,
A thing that grieves not and that never
hopes,
Stolid and stunned, a brother to the OK
Who looseneh and let down this brutal
jaw?
Whose was the hand that slanted back
this brow?
Whose breath blew out the light within
his brain?
Is this the thing the Lord God made and
gave
To have dOminions over sea and land;
To trace the stars and search the heavens
for power;
To feel the paSSl. rs or Eternity!
Is this the dream He dreamed who shaped
And pillared the blue armament with
light?
Down all the stretch of He'll to its last
gulf
More tongued with censure of the worlds
blind greed
More filled with signs and portents for the
soul
More fraught with menace to the universe.
What CULTS between him and the sera-
phim
Slave of the wheel of labor, what to him
Are Plato and the swing of Pleiades
What the long reaches of the peaks OF
The rift of dawn, the reddening of the
roses?
Through this dreadful shape the suffering
ages look;
Times tragedy is in that aching stoop;
Through this dread shape humanity
betrayed,
Plundered, profaned and disinherite5d,
Cries protest to the Judge of the world,
A protest that is also prophecy.
o masters, lords and rulers in all lands,
Is this the handiwork you give to your
God;
This monstrous thing distorted and soul
quenched q? .
How will you ever straghten up THIS
Touch it again with immortality;
Give back the upward looking and the
light;
Rebuild i'm it the music and the dream
Make right the immemorable infamies,,
Perifidi0us wrongs, immedicable woes?
O masters, lords and rulers in all lands,
How will the future reckon with this
man?
How answers his brute question in that
hour
When the whirlwinds of rebellion shake
the world?
How will it be with kingdoms and with
kings
With those who shaped him to the thing
he is
When this dumb terror shall reply to COD,
After the silence Of the centuries?
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1899-09-16

fact that there are relatively fewer in
mates of our hospitals, jails and work.
houses furnished by the Jews than any
other contributes.
"Convert the Jews! Yes, but mean.
while let US convert many of our
church members to the genuine Chris
tianity. Suppress the Jews! A score
of Russian Cars cannot do it. Every
people on earth has tried it and failed.
They have outlived the Tudors and
the Plantagenets, the Romanoffs, the
tyranny of Spain, the dynasties of
France, Charlemagne, Constantine, the
Caesars, the Babylonian kings and the
Egyptian Pharoahs. 1t was Gods
own race for 1000 years, and the aw-
full persecution it has survived for
1000 years more stamps it as race
still bearing some mysterious relation
to the plans of the Eternal. The beau
ty and fidelity of Jewish women COM
mand my homage, and among wealthy
and educated Jewesses and their cul-
ture and high breeding, blended with
sort of Oriental grace and dignity,
put them among the most charming
women in the world.
"But the Jew is tricky Is he?
Were you never taken in by Metho-
dist class leader on real estate trade?
Did you never get into close quarters
with a Presbyterian speculator? Did
you every buy mining stock on the
representations of an Episcopalian
broker? Did you ever take a mans
word quicker because he was Bap-
tist or Roman Catholic? Did you
never see stone weighing 20 pounds
concealed in bale of cotton grown by
southerner? Did you never find
lard in the butter sold by New Eng
land Puritan?
"The belief that the Jew is more
dishonest than the Gentle is one-half
nonsense and the other half prejudice
and falsehood. The anti-Jewish feel
ing which now seems to be rising
again is un-Christian, inhuman and
un-American. 1t is born of the devil
and is detestable."
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1899-09-16
GUNS "DOlNG TINE"
A Queer Spanish Custom Of Punishment or
Rewarding Weapons.

A Queer Spanish Custom Of Punishment or
Rewarding Weapons.
From the Philadelphia Times.
Four years ago I called at the Span
ish artillery barracks in Havana, and
while waiting entrance 1 happened to
see Mauser rife hanging by the gun
sling to a nail in the wall. 1t struck
me as peculiar to see such good piece
abandoned and getting rusty, so ask
ed Spanish soldier what was wrong
with the gun.
"Why, it is in for three years"
"What do you mean by that ?" I
asked.
"Well, l mean what I say. The
gun was sentenced by courtmartial
for bruising a soldier at the pistol gal
lery while practicing sometome ago.
1t went off without the trigger being
pulled"
"Still, don't understand what you
are telling me-" replied.
"Well, it's so, just the same. Why,
if you ever happen to 90 to San Chris.
tobal castle you will see gun-a can.
non-which was rewarded (pieces of
ordnance in the Spanish army being
punished as we'll as rewarded for be-
havior) for sinking one of the English
war vessels when the city was attack
ed hundred years ago. That cannon
has been knighted by her majesty
and is entitled to be called 'his excel.
lency,' like a regular general, and
whenever we pass it we have to pre-
sent arms"
Since then I have been asking every
officer whom l knew whether the story
was true or not, and they have all
affirmed what the soldier said.
have seen a good many mules and
horses sentenced to death for having
kicked either officers or privates, and a
Spanish soldier told me that while he
was in Cadiz, Spain, he saw a large
rifed gun "sentenced to death" for
having burst and killed some gnnners
with the breech block, and it was
smelted and made into another gun.
am told, too, that at some arsenals,
old castles or barracks, there are lots
of pieces "doing time."
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1899-09-16

ance. I met him by the merest acc.
dent"
"And will scorn to meet him againf"
said our friend, slightly smiling.
81 shall see him no more when once
have finished with him, II said hotly,
"and shall consider myself well rid Of
him.
AS we left the department Borofsky
pinched my arm.
"You II be shadowed after this, Count
Boris" he whispered, laughing. "You
have done it this time"
"Whyf" I growled. "What have I
done7"
why, naturally they'll want to find
out who your little rascal is, and
you'll be followed about for his sake.
Let him 90. like wise man. Squeeze
his news out of him and let them grab
him when and where they like. Fiat
.astitial'
"He is safe while in our house., I
said. "Afterward he may 90 hang, for
all I care.
(which is the wisest thing you have
yet said in connection with this afro
cious little scoundrelI" said Borofsky.
"It's a Thousand pities you gave him
5000 rubles. but. after all, giving
him a check fcc the amount is vastly
different thing rom paying him cash
down. He'll never cash that check
why notY' | asked in surprise.
HE won t dare. at first. and the po-
lice will grab him before he makes up
his mind. You are to be shadowed, re-
member. and that means that the house
will be watched. Naturally. they II have
him in no time.
Just as we reached our house some
one ran hIrriedly down the steps,
jumped into a drosky standing close
by and drove away. I did not notice
him particularly.
"Did you see who that was9" whis-
pered Borofsky, jogging my arm. 81
wonder what he's been atl He has not
lost much time anyway"
"Why, who was it2" said. "Not
the student escaping? We must
"Bah Nonsense The student knows
when he is well off. A squad of soldiers
wouldn't drive him out of the place
now 1t was our friend the pristaf.
"Tbe pristafl" I repeated. ~ thought
he had refused to have anything to do
with the affair and disbelieved Us from
start to tinishl"
"Well, there it is, or, rather, there
he isl'' said Borofsky. "And, what's
more, I think we may expect that
things will now buzz a bit.
TO BE CONTINUED.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1899-09-16

eve discovered The truth acciden-
tally from another source" said Borof-
sky.
"Ah, the truth Yes. Well, gentle
men, am obliged to you for this most
interesting-nay, thrilling-narrative,
which l have found very entertaining.
I regret that l cannot accept it without
support. May this unexpected source
that you speak of be examined by me
for confirmation Of your report2"
"It is impossible. said Bcrofsky.
"We"-
"Ah, I thought 30. Good morning,
gentlemen. I shall be glad to see you
when you have something little more
definite, and, if may say so, little
more plausible and credible. to lay be-
fore me-. "
"We shall report to your superiors.
Mr.. Pristaf," said Borofsky angrily.
"No doubt, and so shall I. said the
pristaf. bowling us politely to the door.