The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1899-11-17
Mixes BIG INVESTMENT.
His Calf Grew Into n Cow and
He Had an Elephant on
His Hands.

A problem which has caused James
Mckee, of Brooklyn, many sleepless
night and worried him into state bor-
dering on nervous prostration was hap
PLY solved recently. The pigs in the
clover puzzle was an easy proposition
compared with the one which bothered
Mr.. Mckee, and which was also diff
Guilty with relation to live stock. The
problem concerned the removal of a
COW that had been domiciled as calf in
McKee's back yard and had grown too
big to be taken out by way it had
been brought in or by any other avenue
of egress from the premises.
Mckee bought the calf about year
ago from a butcher who was leading it
to slaughter. Goats were common in
the quarter, and Mckee calculated that
the calf would prove an innovation in
the way of a pet. So he led the little
animal home and installed it in the
back yard, TO the delight of his own
children and the envy of those of his
neighbors. He took the calf through
the front door of the house and the
hallway, which is the only manner of
getting into the yard in the rear.
This back yard is bounded on all
sides by tall tenements, and there is
not so much as an alley leading from
it to the street. But the situation of
the yard never entered into Mckee's
calculations with respect to the future
of his new pet. One day he decided to
sell her.
A German butcher from Hunters
Point called to look the cow over. The
animal was fat and sleek and the
butcher decided to buy it.
But how l get her owid?" he asked
of Mckee, seeing only the narrow hall
way leading to the street through the
house
Then for the first time realization
of the situation dawned upon Mckee.
Holy smoke, but never thought Of
that!" he gasped, gazing helplessly
about.
The butcher shrugged his shoulders.
Suddenly, however, a brilliant idea
struck him. He procured tape meas
ure, took the measurements of the COW
u14b iICh l1C w III III VI lnC
hall door. Then he did some expert fig
uring. Finally he reached conclusion
in the matter. He decided that if the
cow could be reduced in avoirdupois to
certain degree she might be showed
through the front door. So he gave in
structions that the cow was not to be
fed for several weeks, and then left.
Then the neighbors took a hand in
the game, and many and divers were
the suggestions made to Mckee for get
ting the cow out of the yard. One pro-
posed that a tunnel be dug under the
house, another that balloon or der
rick be pressed into service, and still
another that the house be moved out of
the way. But Mckee acted upon none
Of these brilliant ideas.
The cow had lost much weight. and
was led through the back door without
trouble, but it was still too big to pass
through the front door, and there it
stuck. The butcher on the outside
pulled and tugged until he got red in
the face, and the Mckee family on the
inside pushed until they were exhaust
ed, but the cow held fast in the door
way. Finally the butcher got an ak
and chopped away on either side of the
cow, and the animal at last was
squeezed through.
The next calf that 1 buy" re-
marked Mckee. wiping the sweat from
ais brow, will be a rabbit" -Philadel-
phia Inquirer.