The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-03-30
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Judge
The climate forbids It: Biggs-1s Il
true that Smith. The iceman. j. dead
Boggs-Yes. poor fellow. lie cuts nc
Ice now.-Life.
Military Matters Drill Master tto
awkward squadl--A Mauser bullet VII
go through eighteen inches OF solid
wood. Remember that, you block
heads.-Puck.
Can you tie a tsue-lover's knot my
dear" inquired Fred. "No, replied
Jessie. hiding her bushes with her fan
"hnf aar aeW clergyman can 10 very
aleelf Life.
Airs Marpl0 Thu wate lit3e ba-
hles slrs pngsa They 10 IL thot.
So ats twins ley are. Mrs, Murphy
-1ez don't say, An are the both "
thin yours.-.Iudge.
That's IT," exclaimed Mrs. Baseom
at the concert, as the singers came ont
IN response To an encore; make EN- do
II over again until they get the thing
right. t. Exchange.
No said the Cuban; Il cannot be-
ileye in the sincerity Of the United
States" "Why not "'They PROM
Used us our liberty. and the first thing
they do Is ask MS to go TO work. Puck.
Excuse me, sir" said Barker to n
boorlsh traveller. but what is your bus
iness?' II am Il gentleman, sir-thats
my business" All" said Barker, Il
see. You are taking a holiday. It'd
Bits.
Beggar alphabetically mister,
wot kin be worse dan hayln' no home
ter 90 ter? Citizen tunsteadily)-
zin. my friend thicl; nozzin'-eept
hayin' home that you've (hic) got TO
go to.-Iudge.
First lawyer thought you were
retained to defend Cory Dick. the wife
murderer? Second lawyer was
asked to, but my conscience wouldn't
lei me- 1t was such brutal crime.
And besides that, lie has no money
Harlem Life.
Sentimental wife freading from a
noyel)-And, clasping her to his heart.
the hero pressed his lips burning to her
snowy brow. Practical Husband
Yes. and I'll het dollar he's down
with cold in the next chapter.-Ghi-
.eago Daily News.
Apparently the only way to get the
Maria Teresa into American waters Is
to annex Cat Island.-Buffalo Express
Little Clarence-Pa, what do people
feather their nests with? Mr.. Cal
lipers-Cash down is the best thing
know of.-Puck.
Mr.. 0restes Van Ham considers
himself the greatest actor on EARTH"
BIS that sou responded Mr.. Storming.
ron Barnes thoughtfully. He's get
ting strangely modest. He used 10
consider himself the greatest actor
that ever lived. "-Washington Star.
wallace-What ponderous subjects
you women do discuss at your club
The Causes OF the Decay of Roman
Civilization was one of the titles of
the tssdss Itdu. hOiitth MI W III
lace-Yes; bur none of us pay any at
tention, you see.-Cineinnati Enquirer.
Callahan (despondently)--Su an
Owe bin leadin' a dogs loife liver
since OF got married. Kerrigan
fthoughtfullyl-Perh yez whit to
the wrong clerk. Callahan. an got a
log license instid NV marriage IL
cense.-Judge.
Dear me. George. why don't you
smoker Il thought promised you |
never would q You did: but | saw
some of the cutest little boxes in a
downtown window to-day and they
were marked only 40 cents for twenty
five real cigars '-Cleyeland Plain
Dealer.
Mother-I can't see why you should
object to Mr.. Goodsense. Daughter
| never could marry such man as
that. He wears the cheapest kind OF
ready-made clothes. Mother-That IL
mere idlosyncrasy Daughter-Y.e
but I'm afraid he'll want me TO dres,
The same way.
Customer haven't any chang,
with me this morning; viii you trus
me for a postage-stamp until to-mor
row? Drug Clerk-Certainly Mr.
Jones. Customer-But suppose
should get killed. or Drug Clerk
Pray don't speak of It, Mr.. Jones; thu
loss would he but trihc.-Chcag'
News.
Hobson-How did you enjoy YOU
summer trip. Bagley: Bagley Had
delightful time. Gained one hundre'
and thirty pounds. Hobson One hun
bred and thirty pounds don't beliey
IL. Bagley-Don't You? Well. here
comes down the street. Just wait
moment and I'll introduce you.-Hal
lem Life.
An American In Rome was asked b
n friend at home to bring back som
Italian fireworks. Upon arrival III
returned tourist presented his frien
with half a dozen ordinary belrooI
candles. what on earth are these.
asked the friend. Italian fireworks,
said the other. 'Roman candles.
nurloined them at the h1el where
Hotel Reporter.
The driver of n prison-van was re
cently hailed by > +ouldbe wag: "Go
any roos Inside Robert? There
room fes one" replied the driver: Nv
rem II for you" Not entirely dlseor
rerted, the wouldbe wag had anothe
shot. whats your fare| he asked
rhe answer, however, completely Ell
him. BREAD and water
same as YOU had before" said tn