The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1899-03-07
GOOD NATURED, BUT

Among the popular fellacies most
destructive to the peace of womankind
is the idea that ''if q husband be good
natured he is the sunshine of domestic
life" Not a bit of i'll know women
better. He must be more than good
natured; otherwise he is emphatically
a nuisance. Always Offering to help
y~ou-alWays getting into mischief
through an ov~erpowering of
amiability-putting out the fire with
extra relays of c)al, and invariably
excusing his misdemeanors with an
Injured look and a "Well, my dear, I
wanted to save you trouble"
He undertakes to amuse the chill
dren while you, unconscious soul, go
shopping, and when you return, every
drawer has been rifad for string to
make cats cradles and pencils to draw
horses; your spools Of silk are har-
messed up to the piano leg, and the
contents of your sugar bowl are Wn
broadcast yer the carpet. The chill
dren are asleep, and your better
half sits in the midst of the chaos
reading the paper, with the air of one
who has done his duty. You long to
call him to order, but you remember
that he did it all with the best inten.
tions. He does not mean any harm.
He is the most aggravating creature
in the sick room; just as your aching
head is drifting softly into dreamland,
and you r sinking into a delicious
doze, in he comes, on tip-toe, and
wants to know, in a laundering whis-
per, ''hoW you are tonight" You
would like to throw a pillow at his
head, but you are not strong enough,
so you wonder whether Job felt like
you when his p~atienc9 wal at it's strain.
The ever good-natured husband
always leaves the wrong window open,
and sets the rocking chairs vibrating,
and knocks down the poker and tongs,
and says, BLESS my soul!"
He brings home perfect groves of
bananas and bushels Of oranges, and
insists On your tasting 'just a Bit"
until you wish that Florida and Cuba
we're places unknown in geography.
He fancies you are lonesome, 80 he
brings home his law papers, and es-
tablishes himself just where your ago.
niz9d eye "a take in every blot on
your table cover. Your eye fascinated
follows the gradual progress Of the ink
stand toward the verge of the table,
until you are certain that the next
movement of his elbow will cover the
carpet with ink, and just as you are
opening your mouth to shrek, over it
goes! He only says, who'd have
supposed it was 80 near the edge9'
If the buttons are off his Wristbands,
he sc VS. them on himself; if he can't
find the cologne bottle, he turns things
upside down on his own hook; if he
wants a cold chicken leg, he dives
down into the cellar after it himself.
and when he comes up, sprinkled with
tallow drippings, he excuses his ap-
pearance by remarking that The
thought he would not disturb youI"
He isn't at all particular whether
the room is swept or not-just ss you
say he does not object to cold meat
for dinner, if it you any annoy.
ance; he thinks you look just as pretty
in calico and curl papers az you do in
full dressI In short, you feel like q
wretch who is kept on a diet of eternal
sugar candy and honey! You would
give all that you possess to see him fly
into a genuine rage, like other men.
Anything but eternal sunshineI
There's no stirring the fellow up; he
accompanies you on shopping expe"
dItions with the most angelic patience,
never once saying, Aren't you most
through, Mary2" Not even the in
Fiction Of washing day and the tur-
moil of housekeeping make any i'm
preston On him.
Give me a husband who has some
qualities other than pefect good nature.
Ledger Monthly.
More firm and sure the hand Of CouP-