The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-01-02
AT THE CHEsTNUTs' DINNER
CFrom Harper's Bazaar !


The Hoary Chestnuts were assembling
for their annual Christmas dinner Sweet
music was discoursed by the chestnut
bell, and, despite their age and many in
flrmiues, the members wore look of gay
ETY. suitable to 80 festive an occasion
There was not a young joke among them,
excepting very few special jokes, like
the trolley variety and the Cuban war
superannuated looking as the Oldest there
Not well known joke but would come
OF course they would all live until the
next dinner, for an old joke Is immortal
chance to meet and shake hands general
ly, as during the rest of the year they
would be scattered through the columns
OF the dallies and the comic weeklies and
their meetings would be chance ones.
The hearty old Mother-in-law joke chat
ted gayly with that venerable ola lady,
twins Ballet-girl's-age and Ballet-girls s.
scant-raiment were the centre of a group
made up of the naughty Rich plumber, the
Rejected-manuscript the Messenger
boy, the Sleeping-watchman and a good
score of clearinghouse Jokes. The one
called Boarding house-coffee felt little
stirred up at the false report that he was
losing ground, and he had an unsettled
look upon his swarthy and senile features.
The idea was absurd on the face of it, for
Undoubtedly he would be printed in every
sectlon OF the country before the month
was out, as he had been any month for
decades past. The Summer jokes includ-
ing, of course, the star Jest, the Summer
girl, looking comparatively fresh, as they
We're not in use the year round, like Her
father s-foot, for instance, or that other
member of the same family, the Chicago
girl s-foot, that year In and year out is
used as a laugh-producer.
| The Boston jokes, icy and reserved sat
apart from the rest, and glared at each
other in near-sighted way The Freak
Jokes, on the contrary, were hail-fellow-
well,met with every one, and their vulgar
laughter could be heard everywhere.
| A good deal of sympathy was expressed
| for Actor walking-home, for he was so
feeble that he had to be helped across the
room by Weary Wraggles. The Tramps
were out in force. Tickets to the dinner
We're 50, and it is rumored that Dusty
Rhodes had worked his way in, but upon
renectlon the idea will be seen to be pre-
posterous.
Then there was strong smell of cloves
| IN the air when the door opened for the
entrance of old Between-the-acts. He
came arm in arm with that other fayorite
| etained-at-the-lodge.
The Farmer jokes came in a little late.
Their chores had detained them; but
| their entrance was hailed with delight by
a body of Photographers who sat in the
gallery as representatives of the press,
and who had paid many bill, thanks to
the Farmers.
A joke, rather square-cut and with
wheels In his head, came in with a
| Where is she? look on his dial, and as
| soon as he said 81 expected to meter
here, he was recognized as Big-gas bill.
The Wheel jokes were conspicuous by
their absence: This was explained on the
ground that they were not vet old enough
! to become Hoary Chestnuts. and as a re-
! lentless Photographer remarked. "they
were tired, anyhow
The last ones to arrive were the Canni-
| bal and Tough missionary, and the chair
man of the reception committee having
assigned them seats at opposite ends OF
! the table, all sat down. and the annual
balloting to determine what had been the
most popular joke of the year was begun.
Many voted for themselves notably the
Boston-bean joke and the Rich-plumber,
but when the votes were counted the sue
| cessful person proved to be neither of
these, but a hideously homely woman with
q perpetual smirk upon her face
who's she?" asked one Photographer of
another.
you don't know her? Why that's NV
face-is-my fortune then you must-be
dead-brOke."
l. And they crowned her with laurel. as
unquestionaby the most perennially pom
ular jobe.-Charles Battell LOOMS.