The Bellefontaine Republican. [volume] (Bellefontaine, Logan County, Ohio) 1855-1905, 1899-09-01
A DOCTORS OFFER.

There was once a learned doctor who
had studied long and hard, but in Gu
cuguano, where he had settled, no one
had faith in him. Meeting him always
with book in his hand, the Cucugu-
anese said:
''That doctor knows nothing-he is
always studying. If he studies so much,
it means he has need to learn; if he
needs to learn. it means he does not
know; if he does not know, he is an ig-
noramus.
A doctor without patients is like a
lamp without OIL. Without other re-
sources, forced therefore to earn liv-
ing by hook or by crook, up to this time
the poor devil had not been able to pay
even for the water he drank. He decid-
ed there would have to be change, so
one day he managed to spread abroad
through all Cucuguano the report that
his science was so sublime and all pow
erful that not only could he heal the
sick-mere child's play-but raise the
dead as we'll; a miracle of God, surely.
And this miracle he promised to per-
form openly in broad day in the grave
yard amid the multitude.
Few gave credence to the report, yet
even the incredulous said: ''We will
| let him attempt it anyhow. Let's see
| him at work-the proof Of the pudding
is the eating. He may succeed-he
reads so much, and nowadays such won
| derful discoveries are being made. If he
succeeds, we will applaud him; if not,
we will hiss him out of the countryside.
Let him bring man to life again and
we will say he is the cleverest doctor
| we have ever had.
Finally it was settled that on the fol-
| lowing Sunday, at the stroke of noon in
the cemetery of Cucuguano the doctor
would raise a man from the dead-nine
or ten, some old women went SO far as
to say.
That Sunday, long before noon, the
graveyard was as jammed as is the
church on Holy Easter day. True to his
! word, ON the second stroke of the bell
| appeared the doctor, all in black. He
| elbowed his way to the steps of the CEN
tral cross. There he saluted the crowd,
| spat ON the ground, blew his nose an6
began:
"My dear friends, have promised to
bring one of your dead back to life. I
intend to keep my word Be silent and
| hearken to me- 1t will cost me abso-
| lutely no effort to raise from the tomb
| Giascomo or Giovanni, Mamma or
Beta, Amadeo or Simone. Shall raise
/ Simone? Simone-what was his last
uame? Simone Capannaro, who died of
pleurisy a year ago?"
Excuse me, signor dottore," said
Caterina, poor Simone's widow. Seer
tainly he was a fine fellow. He made
me very happy, and will mourn him
as long as l have eyes for tears. But,
pray, do not bring him back; for, you
see toward the end of the month I'm
to put off mourning, and, to please my
family, I'm to marry Pasqualone. The
banns are already published, and I've
accepted the presents. y
''You did we'll to tell me, Caterina.
Then Twill raise Nina Carota, who died
Candlemas day.
Il "For heavens sake, signor dottoreP'
cried Giacomo Carota. ''Nina was my
wife; we lived together ten years-ten
years of purgatory, as all Cucuguano
knows. Let her stay where she is, for
her rest and mine. What a peppery
temper, doctor! Obstinate as a mule,
lazy and quarrelsome and slovenly and
, ragged! And that is not all. Wasteful,
and tongue-a viper's tongue-that
would have set St. Joseph to quarreling
, with the Madonna. 1 might add But
that's better left unsaid."
"Yet, my dear fellow
, Excuse me for interrupting, signol
, dottore. A new broom sweeps clean.
Nina left me three brats, who certainly
| do not take after their father, and as
could not handle them all have mar
; ried again; so you see it is useless. -
"Well and good. I can conceive il
would be martyrdom to have two wives
in the house One is more than enough
sometimes. Then whom shall restore
to you, my dear people? 1 must fine
{ some one. How about Master Pietro?"
''Ah, my poor father!'' cried a voice
r "May God rest his soul. A good MAI
was he But don't bring him back
, pray, doctor. He who wished SO much
i to see US united family would b,
al heartbroken to find our affairs in such
q muddle. After dozen lawsuits the si1
D of us--four sons and two daughters
have finally divided the property int
a six little strips. Each of us has a swarm
of children, each of us has to shift fol
{ himself There is not one of US who ka
: anything to spare. "
q $50 it cannot be?"
"No. If you should bring him back
{ we would have to make up little in
come for him among US all. Only tn,
, times are SO hard, doctor, you know
D The silkworms don't hatch well, no
t spin when they do; the vines are dis
eased, the grain is thin, the olives ar,
a wormy, there is no rain, the taxes ar
e heavy
0 Enough, we will let Master Pietr'
sleep on. But 1 have not come here t,
string beads and to have the crowd gap
V at me. Tell me whom to raise.
e "Ghita-bring back Ghita, m,
e Ghits,'' cried poor old woman, weep
e ing like Mary Magdalen.
"No, no, doctor, do not wake her,
n interrupted girl. "Oh, no, prett,
J. creature, it's all well she died. Befor
e she left rs she told me all. We dressed
her III ~. a'sd put a wreath on he