The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-05-18
n1VADA.

thin VIC WOdAa a eOOA AtoftA
She (coyly)-Tm not Brooklyn
Life.
'Why do you call that parrot Com
promise?" Because he's part greer
and part Observation-Disclosures Nortl
American.
'What dreadfully bad print this bool
hast! YES; but look at the binding
It's a gift book. "-Phlladelphl North
American.
Anna-They say have my mothers
mouth and nose. Hannah-Well, your
mother was lucky 10 ged rid of EN-
Yonkers Statesman.
Asking for 1nformation.-Farm
That field there is tobacco. Xlsiior-Is
that so? What ordinary looking plants
When do they-er-begin TO plug ontI-
Puck.
$50 that Is the famous playwright
But why is It that one reads so little
about him nowadaysY "Oh. he has
been famous too long Fliegende
Blaetter.
Solled Spooner (sentimentally)-M
poor old mudder amt seen me face fer
twenty years, an Mrs. Flint (sar-
castlcally)-Well, why don't you wash
it?-Judge.
Wandering Wllly-What did yer do
wild dat sickle yer he'd last winteri
Weary Raggles-When de warm we'd
der set in | snapped It fer a snow
shoyel.-Puck.
what is a philosopher, Uncle Jim?'
"A philosopher is man who has no
ticed that the things people worry
about usually never come TO pass
Chicago Tribune.
There are ways and ways of break
Ing the Ice" said the diner out. Il
once took girl out TO dinner whose
nrst remark TO me was: DO you talk
or listen. "-Tlt-Bits.
Il suppose your wife misses you a
great deal:" inquired lady of a com
merclal traveller. well. no; for WON
an. she has remarkably straight aim"
was the reply.-Exchange
He-"She looks so sweet" She-"In-
deed? | never thought of her as ex-
hibiting any taste at ALL" Even in her
play on words woman Is prone to bit
terness.-Indianapol Journal.
what novel are the soldiers reading
nOw?' asked the observant boarder OF
the cross-eyed boarder. Give 1t up
What Is It?' 81 think 1t must be Call
ed Back "-Pittsburg Chronicle.
"Well, I'm glad o. one thing. Our
Jim seems to have good religious COM
p'ny." How Is that, mother?" His
last letter says he is comm home In a
converted yacht" = Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
He-Oh, yes. | can quit smoking CT
garettes whenever | want to. She
Why don't you consult physician and
see IL he can't give you something TO
make you want to?-Chlcago Daily
News.
Il suppose Spriggins anticipates lot
Of money from his schemeT We'll, he's
trying to anticipate itl' what do you
mean" Hes trying to borrow money
ON the strength of what he hopes to
make."-Puck.
She-Oh, please don't tease me to
sing. Pm so hoarse tonight that can
hardly make sound. He-Yes,
know. That's why think this would
be good time to have 1t over with
Chicago News.
I'VE are in danger" said one Spanish
statesman, 'of sinking into oblivion; of
being almost forgotten by the rest of
the world" "Neyerl" replied the other
proudly 1--WE still have our debts
Washington Star.
The Dearest Girl-What makes you
old bachelors say such horrld thingsi
Married men do not talk that way. The
Savage Bachelor-No, we only say
what the married men think.-Clncin-
natl Enquirer.
Mamma-Johnny, see that you give
Ethel the lions share Of that orange
Johnny-Yes, ma. Ethel-Mamma, he
hasn't given me any. Johnny-Well.
that's all right. Lions don't eat or.
anges.-Spare Moments.
Il wonder what made that girl
scream so when she found she was IN
der the mistletoeg' II don't know" re-
piled Miss Cayenne. Possibly her
whereabouts was In danger OF being
unnoticed. r-Washington Star.
You young scoundrel," said the ia
ther, Selling his dIsobedIent son by
The hair; "I'll show you how to treat
your mother" Aud he gave him sew
eral bangs on the ears, and then shook
him until his hair began to fall out
Chicago Journal.
Citlzen-Well, here is a nickel; but
don't spend 1t for drink. Go and get q
good square meal with 1t. Beggar-
Tanks, general. citlzen-Why do you
call me general? Beggar-Why, | reck-
on you must have bin general of COM
mlssariat In de late war.-Puck.
might hab de pleasure O. breakln' a
wish-bone wifi you dis Thanksgivin' p
inquired Mr.. Erastus Pinkley. Miss
Miami Browns expression of coyness
became gradually overloaded with
suspicion, as she inquired: (which Of
us is expected TO furnish the brdT-
Washington Star.