davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-07-30
MAYOR GRAY's VIEWS.

AS soon as we learn that the ThIr-
teenth regiment has boarded a transport
at Manila, and that the ship has weigh 1
anchor, it will be time enough FOR Mime
apohs to make arrangements for the
transportation of the regiment from Cali
fornia to Minnesota" Mayor Gray thus
expressed himself yesterday:
1T is fair to assume" continued the
mayor, that at least six weeks viii
elapse between the departure from Ma
Mia and the arrival in Minneapolis It
seems to me that this affords ample time
within which to perfect all arrangements
for the reception of the men. AS far rs
the question of transportation from San
Francisco to this city is concerned, [ Gm
informed that 1t will cost at least $25, 600
under the most favorable arrangement
that can be reasonably expected OF this
sum the patriotic citizens of Minneapolis
will doubtless be glad to guarantee their
snare, Which is five-tWelfths."
Mayor Gray added that so far as he
knew, Mr.. Lowry, the chairman Of the
committee in charge of the arrangements
for the homecoming of the Thirteenth
regiment had not as yet completed any
negotiations for the transportation Of the
regiment
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-07-30

First VI. f. Church Music-Miss Julia
Youngman will today sing the offertory
solo at the First NJ. E. church, corner
Third street and Summit avenue
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-07-30

yoodmen VIII Picnic - Montefiere
Camp No. 81, Woodmen of the World
will hold its first annual picnic today at
Groveland park. Good music will be sup
piled for a social hon
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-07-30

Blaze in n SaIoOR-A slight blaze was
caused in the Reception saloon, 419 Rob
ert street, shortly after o'clock yester-
day morning by the explosion of q gaso-
line stove. No enc was injured, and the
damage was slight
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-07-30

Loss Was SHIall-The fire department
was called out to eXtinguish a burning
woodshed in the rear Of 800 Wabasha
street at 4 o'clock Yesterday morning
The origin of the fire is unknown. The
loss was small.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
No, n CHS. observer.


''It seems almost Incredible, said
the railroad man. "but saw a man
the other day that couldn't give an in
telligent description of his wife. He
came to the Office to get transportation
for her, to which he was entitled, and
under the present rules we must have
description Of the person that is going
to use the transportation.
On the margin Of the ticket are
places where the agent can punch out
very good description of the person
that is entitled to use the ticket in
his possession.
81 asked the man first how old his
wife was. he could not tell within FIVE
years.
"Next asked him how tall she was
The best could ascertain was that she
was not very tall, neither was she very
short. punched out the word medium
and let it go at that.
"Next asked the man what the col
or of his wife's eyes was. He studied
for full half minute and said he be
darned if he was sure whether they
were light blue or gray.
"When it came to the color of the
woman's hair, he was again in guam
dairy He was not dead sure whether it
was dark brown or black.
"The only thing this husband was
sure of was that his wife vas slim. -
Duluth News.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
A Miraculous Escape.

It happened that in the last month of
the reign of Charles I a certain ship
chandler of London was foolish enough
to busy himself over a barrel of gun
powder with lighted candle in his
hand. He paid the price of his folly. A
spark fell into the gunpowder and the
place was blown up
The trouble was that the man who
did the mischief was not the only one
to perish. Fifty houses were wrecked,
and the number of people who were
killed was not known.
In one house among the SO mother
had put her baby into its cradle to sleep
before the explosion occurred. What
became of the mother no one ever
knew, but what became Of the baby
was very widely known.
The next morning there was found
upon the leads of the Church of All
Hallowsa young child in cradle, baby
and cradle being entirely uninjured by
the explosion that had lifted both to
such a giddy height.
1t was never learned who the child
was, but she was adopted by gentle
man of the parish and grew to woman
hood. She must surely all her life have
had peculiar interest in that church.
Sir Walter Besant's "London
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
A Sadly Lost Dime.

When last in New York, Carnegie
had bitter experience with a messen-
ger boy, whose hardness in delivering
business message came near upsetting
a deal of great Importance. Referring
to this incident while at dinner with
friends that evening, he told Of an office
boy who worked for him many years
ago when he was of far less Importance
IN the commercial world.
''James, said Mr. Carnegie, "was a
willing boy, but his ability as slut
terer was simply wonderful, and I Of
ten found it more convenient to attend
to little errands myself than to wait for
his explanations. One day a neighbor
wanted to send nice note clear across
the city, and permitted James to carry
it for him. The trip was a long one,
and James was gone quite three hours.
When he returned, I asked him how
much he had charged for his services.
"'Fi-f-fi-f-fi-i-f-f fifteen c-c-c-cents!
was the gasping reply.
"'Why didn't you make it quar-
ter?' l asked.
"'I c-c-c-c-c-could-cou -couldn' t
s-s-s-s-say it. he replied, with tears as
well as hyphens in his voice.
"Right then l made up my mind
never to give any one my services with
out first making sure that could recite
my price without suffering, and
never have. '-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
Hook. Lordly Tin.

1t required such man as Theodore
Hook to cope successfully with the ra-
pacity of the gentlemen of the hall, in
contradistinction to the road, and on
one occasion. at all events. he proved
himself equal to the task.
1t is related that once when dining
out he, before the entertainment came
off, provided himself with several bright
farthings from the mint and that when
proceeding after the festivities to his
carriage he discovered several servants,
including the cook. awaiting him in
the hall, he forthwith slipped a coin
into the hand of the latter. The man
glanced at it, noticed the size and
bowed low in thanks, under the impress
sion that he was sovereign richer,
while Theodore, dispensing largesse Of
like nature to the other servants,
went on his way rejoicing, nor did he
cease doing SO when, as he stepped into
his carriage. one Of the footmen, who
had discovered the real value of the
pourboire, ran out, saying, "Sir.
think you have made mistaken
"Not at all, my good man., !" replied
the humorist. with gracious wave of
the hand 81 never give less. Coach
man, drive on.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
Polly MT the Phone.

One West Madison street druggist
lost customer through his fondness for
pets. He has large green parrot, and
the cage is hung near the telephone,
with the result that Polly has become
quite proficient in telephone talk" and
furnishes much amusement to the GUS
toners who have the time to stop and
listen.
The other day a stylishly dressed
young lady came rustling into the store
and asked permission to use the phone.
The druggist pointed to the rear of the
store, and she started in that direction.
The store was rather dark, and when
she heard some one apparently talking
into the receiver she seated herself on
chair to wait.
"Hello central-hello, hello-yes,
give me four ouble-eight express. Yes,
hello; who is that? Oh, yes; what, yes
hello, say; no, I didn't get that; is
that SO? Well, goodby; ring off. Hello,
central; hello, hello; give me'-and so
on and so on through several repeti-
tions.
Then she rose and advanced with a
stately air to the clerk and asked if he
thought "that person. intended to use
the telephone all day.
"Why, that's only the parrot; he"-
But the front door had slammed be-
fore he could finish his sentence Chi
cago News
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
An ugly story Of Uruguay.

Here is one of Robert Crawford g sto-
ries about Uruguay 1.-TWO men sur
prised a farmer and his wife in their
.ittle hut while it was broad daylight.
The man was seized and bound, and the
Swo villains proceeded to torture him
. make him disclose the hiding place
of his hoard. The wife begged and
pleaded as the horrors increased, the
man proving obdurate.
''Finally she said she would tell them
where the treasure was if they would
follow her. One of the two accordingly
went over to the chest in the corner
with her. She opened it. fumbling about
inside of it for moment until she
found what she was looking for. In an
other moment the thief at her side was
dead and his fellow covered by large
revolver in the hands of a small but
eager woman Of the people. He got
away before she could quite make up
her mind to shoot him too.
"Then the husband was released and
the neighbors, some miles away, called
in. Word was finally taken to the CEN
trail police authority of the state; the
officers came, viewed the dead thief
and identified him as their attorney
general. 1t is not unlikely" Mr.. Craw-
ford adds, "that his accomplice was the
Judge of the criminal court.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
Then He Wa. Mad.

AScotch university professor, irritat-
ed to find that his students had got
into the habit of placing their hats and
canes on his desk instead of in the
cloakroom, announced that the next ar
ticle Of the kind placed there would be
destroyed. Some days later the profess
or was called for moment from the
classroom. A student slipped into his
private room and emerged with the
professors hat, which he placed con-
spicuously on the desk, while his fell
lows grinned and trembled
The professor, on returning, saw the
hat, thought some rashly obstinate stu
dent had been delivered into his hands,
and taking out his knife, he cut the
offending article to pieces, while vainly
attempting to conceal the smile of tri-
umph that played about his counte-
nance. He was in very bad temper
the next day.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
wanted to See That Foot.

On the principle that to some persons
even old stories are new, this one, of
the royal princelings of England, is
given in Mr.. G. w. E. Russell's recent
book, COLLECTIONS and Recollections
An English gentleman who had de-
formed foot was going to visit the
queen at Osborne, and before his arrival
the queen and Prince Albert debated
whether it would be we'll to warn the
Prince of Wales and the princess royal
Of his physical popularity, SO as to
avoid their making embarrassing re-
marks, or to leave it to their own good
feeling.
The latter course was adopted. Lord
- duly arrived. The foot elected no
remark from the royal children, and the
visit passed off with success. Next day
the princess royal asked the queen:
"Where is Lord --?"
"He has gone back to London, dear. :"
ooh, what pity! He had promised
to show BERTHE and me his foot!"
They had caught him in quiet spot
and made their own terms with the
captive.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
Hi. Ha1f WAX scheme.

Not long ago Pittsburg life insur-
ance agent persuaded Chinaman to
take out policy of $4,000. The latter
had no clear idea Of the transaction,
but understood that on paying the
premiums promptly he would be enti
tied to $4,000 some time. He began
bothering the agent for the money after
couple Of weeks had passed. and the
agent tried to explain to him that he
would have to die before he could get
it. The Chinaman fell down a cellar
way and was badly hurt. His friends
tried to attend to him without calling
in doctor. When they did call one in
two days later, the doctor was angry.
"Why didn't you call me sooner?" he
asked. ''This man is half dead now -
Next day the injured mans brother
was at the insurance Office with claim
for So, 500. YOU'RE not entitled to
anything on this, said the insurance
agent, ''until the man is dead. /"
"Doctol say him half died., an
swered the brother. ''Why he no glet
lat half?''
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
Pretty Lively Entinu.

When one grows weary Of the eternal
ices, blancmanges, charlottes and rud-
dings served to US year in and year out
for dessert. it is pleasant to hear of an
innovation. A travelled American re.
marked that she once had the felicity
of sitting down to japanese dinner at
which were served such dainties as
melons. ices, fruits and sea frogs. There
was in addition to these sweets COW
cred dish, into which. at the beginning
Of the dinner. bottle of wine had been
poured.
When the sea frogs and other dainties
had been discussed, the cover of this
dish was removed, and number Of
sandhoppers, hilariously intoxicated and
jumping about in the widest manner,
were presented to the gaze Of the aston
ished American guests. The lively des-
sert, so the fair traveller says, was
carght by the japanese with little
bamboo sticks and eaten with great
onSfo
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
Chinese Torture.

The ingenuity of the Chinese in de-
vising punishment for offenders sur
passes that of the most cruel people Of
the middle ages. Some time ago a boy
was kidnapped from village about 80
miles from Chin-Kiang and brought to
that city to be sold. The kidnapers
were arrested and returned to the viii
lage, where the people dug a hole in
the ground, like grave, about three
feet Deep covered the bottom and sides
with unslaked lime, placed the offend
er, with his hands and feet tied, upon
the lime and covered his body with the
same material. Then they filled the
hole full of water and as the lime
Stacked he was roasted alive and his
body consumed.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
Good Horse Sense.

The Mexican burros ascertain where
to dig for water by closely observing
the surface Of the ground. One OBJ
server writes:
"We had found water In an arroyo
Of sufficient quantity to make cof-
fee, when we saw three burros search
ing for water. They passed several
damp places, examining the ground
closely, when the leader halted near us
and began to paw hole in the hot,
dry sand. Having dug Il hole some
thing over a foot in depth, he backed
out and watched it intently. 10 our
surprise it soon began to fill with wa
ter. Then he advanced took drink
and stepped aside for his companions
to drink. When they went away, we
drank from their we'll and found the
water to be much cooler than any we
had found for many day. There is
no witchcraft about Mexican burros.
but they have good horse sense"
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
The return Of the Rntions.

In the civil war our soldiers faced
privation and hunger. A little story in
81. Clay Trumbull's book, "War Mem
cries of Chaplain, tells of the spirit
in which they sometimes did it,
While before Petersburg doing siege
work in the summer of 1854, our men
had wormy hard tack served out to
them. 1t was severe trial to the men,
Breaking open the biscuits and finding
live worms in them, they would throw
the pieces in the trenches, although the
orders were to keep the trenches clean.
A brigade officer of the day, seeing
some of these scraps along our front.
called out sharply to our men:
''Throw that hard tack out of the
trenches" Then, as the men promptly
gathered it up, he added, Don't you
know that you've no business to throw
hard tack in the trenches2''
Out from the injured soldier heart
there came the reasonable explanation,
"We've thrown it out two or three
times, sir, but it crawls back. !"
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
Rubbing II In.

"It doesn't pay to be good" said
little Zebidee boy.
"Why, Willie, I'm shocked" said his
mother. Whatever put that idea into
your head?"
"Pa.'
you know he whipped me for going
In swimming last Sunday afternoon"
Eyes; l remember it,"
well, that very morning he
preached sermon about cleanliness
being next to goodness"
Underground London contains $4,000
miles of telegraph wires, 3,0O3 miles
of sewers, 1880 miles of water mains,
and 5000 miles of gas pipes.
Passengers out of San Francisco on
the Southern Pacific who carry pack
ages are required to buy 10-cent
ticket for package freight"
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
Likes to BE Kicked.

Hall Game confesses that he likes to
be kicked, as long as the thing is done
in public and makes him conspicuous
or notorious. He says in the London
Mail: even the silliest personal refer
ence ever see, however inspired by
paltry feelings, seems to me by implica-
ton tribute and compliment, being a
recognition of the fact that l am a
factor worth counting with and an adj
versary worth fighting. And when the
most false the most mean and the most
belittling Of the kind has ceased to APP
pear I shall know that am no longer
Of the least account.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
A Bridge of Collins.

When the British forces were march
ing to Picking in 1860. after the capture
of the Taku forts, one of the rivers be-
came SO swollen with the heavy rains
that it was rendered almost impossible
While in this quandary bright idea
suddenly struck one of our officers. Be-
ing well aware that the Chinese gener-
ally order their collins years in advance
and keep them on the premises aud also
that they are perfectly alright. he con-
suited with his brother officers, with
the result that orders were given to
search all the houses of the village and
collect every coffin. With the aid of
few empty casks the soldiers construct
ed a pontoon bridge of collins sufficient
ly strong to bear the artillery, and the
river was thus passed in safety
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
Ice Explosions In siberia.

A recent Siberian traveller relates:
Sat Sadonsk in the intensely cold
nights the silence was sometimes broken
by loud report as of a cannon This
was the bursting of one of the ice bub-
bles in the river, phenomenon I had
neither heard nor read Of before. The
streams coming down from the hills
were frozen on the surface some six to
nine inches thick. The water beneath
flowed faster than it could escape, and
the pressure, on the principal of a by
draulic presz, became irresistible
First, the elasticity of the ice was seen
by the rising Of circular mounds from
six to eight feet in diameter and from
four to five feet high. The bursting
point came at last with report like an
explosion. The water escaped, but soon
froze again have seen scores of these
ice hillocks in few versts of the
river
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
A Strange Test of Manhood.

The ancient Clan Macleod used to
exercise strange test to prove the man
hood of their chieftains At Dunvegan
castle. on the island of Skye, there is
preserved the large horn known as
"Rory More's Horn. This capacious
vessel holds rather more than bottle
and half of liquor. According to the
old custom. every laird of Macleod was
obliged on his coming of age to fill this
norm with claret and without once lay
ing it down to drain it to the dregs
This was taken as proof of his man
hood, and he was then deemed a worthy
successor to the lairds of the past.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
Weary's Friend,

Weary Willie and his friend Frowsy,
strolling along the seashore, stop before
a sign reading: ''Notice! Bathing Is
Dangerous. Quicksands.
Weary Willie-Dere. Frowsy dere's
true public spirit for yer. Dat man
true public educator. don't know
who dat Teller Quicksands is, but he's
got de right idea Nv things an amt
afraid to say so, an if he wuz here I'd
take off me hat to him.-Leslie's
Weekly
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
WITH The huMaRIsr

As they emerged from dark corner
OF the piazza and entered the brilliant
ly lighted hotel, trying to look uncon-
cerned. her dearest friend beckoned
her to one side.
IF were you," said the dearest
friend solicitously, II would insist up
on George using better quality of dye
on his mustache. Chicago Post.
"Our doors and windows have
screens, so we sit out on the porch in
comfort"
"How's that?"
1.-THE flies all stay on the screens,
trying to get in. Chicago Record.
Edna-I love to ride in front on a
tandem.
Jack-You do? Why?
Edna-Because no matter what hap
pens there is always someone to fall
back on.-Chicago Daily News.
''Was the picnic success?"
mo; there wasn't any cake left to
eat on the way home. Chicago Rec
ord.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
Deceitful.

men are queer animals" said the
pessimlst. "They are all more or less
deceitful.
sob, don't believe that" replied
the optimist. 81 think there are plenty
of people who strive to be honest l
know do and l don't give myself
credit for being any better than the
majority of men. .
''Then why do you ask me how my
health is every time we meet and stand
around and look bored if tell you ~
Chicago Times Herald.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
City Boys Idea.

A Gallatin county farmer hired a
boy from the city to assist him through
the summer. The farmer told the kid
to go out to the barn lot and salt the
calf. The kid took quart of salt and
industriously rubbed it into the calf's
hide. The colts got after the calf for
the salt and had about all the hair
licked off the animal before its condi-
ton was discovered. - Montgomery
ellis. J News
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
The New Way.

The cannibal chief stood with his
hand shading his eyes. A solitary figure
was timidly creeping toward him from
the jungle. Suddenly the old chief
started. He took quick step forward.
''It is, he cried. sit is my son! He is
coming home againl" Then with his
eyes still fixed on the slouching figure
he shrilly called to his head hunter:
''Mbongwa, the prodigal is returningl
Kill the fatted Kaftir!" -Clevelan
Plain Dealer.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
"A Cold NIGHT In China.

One of the facts that we ineffaceably
cut into my memory during my first
winter in Newchwang was the finding
on one morning about New Years time
80 masses Of ice, each mass having been
a living man at 10 o'clock the preced-
ing night.
The thermometer was a good bit be-
low zero (F.), The men had just left the
opium dens, where they had been en-
joying themselves. The keen air sent
them to sleep, and they never Weakened.
North China Herald
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
Where the Tail Went.

Do you remember the story Of Harry's
and Georges rabbits-how Harry 5 rab-
bit. got out of its hutch and disap-
peared for week and at last crept
home without its tail to die and how,
when Harry cried bitterly over his dead
tailless rabbit. George tried to comfort
him:
Don't cry. Harry, dear; don't cry.
It's only the body you see! The tail
has gone to heaven. Memories and
Fancies. by Lady Gordon.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
Thinrs He Doe,n,t Knoyv.

Farmer Medders-Whats yer son
Hiram goin ter do when he gifts
through college?
Farmer Corntossel-He's goin ter
stay right here on the farm till he
sorter begins ter realize that they's
one or two things he don't know.-San
Francisco Examiner
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
His Reference.

Chief Ito commercial traveller seek
ing place)-Do You know how to talk
up goods to customers?
Applicant-Allow me to turn on this
monograph with a conversation be-
tween customer and myself. File
gende Blatter.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-08-03
An Undesired Ally.

Elbow is Mud Singer going to side
in this racer Is he for you?'
"That's what's worrying me, p re-
piled the candidate for Office. "If l
thought he was going to be against me-
would feel surer of election. Col
umbus CO., State Journal