The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-03-23
HE WANTED A GENERAL.
But Captain or "A Major Would Do.
A Telephone Campaign.


From the Times of Cuba, Havana.
Gilbert and Sullivan could find an mex
haustible mine of material for a comic on
era in Cuba.
The pirates of Penzance" or the sailors
of H. M. S. Pinafore" were never one
half as funny as. the rank and file of the
Army of Liberation. With their gold
braid and Panama straw hats. they rush
about from one cafe to another with an
air OF great importance until they find
some sucker who will invite them to have
drink. Then the table is immediately
surrounded by the lucky ''Veteran's''
friends, who have observed his success
from afar, and the gullible host is gem
orally worked thoroughly before the tin
soldiers leave him.
During the drinking the conversation
usually runs upon the subject of the won
derful campaigns in which these heroes
have fit and died. for their beloved
patria, and the bootblacks and cocheros
who may be within hearing, that is 10
say, within four blocks distance from The
group Fsten with their mouths and ewes
wide open while tales of hairbreadth
'scapes by field and flood curdle the lis
teners blood and make his backbone 10
DOW up like a measuring worm. In fen
cdses Out Oh nine the gilded and gabby
campaigners never saw bloodier field
than a sweet potato field, and would not
know a ravelin from a hand spike at six
feet distance.
an entertaining incident occurred in a
cafe on OReilly street last night whom
a Times of Cuba reporter was taking a
cup OF coffee. The place was entered b,,
a typical group of Gomez soldiers drasso5
in dirty Holland uniforms, one of tbor,
barefooted and another exposing his beaItt
and person through a sky-Iieht in ~
trousers, located where ii couldn't be seen
when the soldiers back was against ~
wall, and various others ia a more ~. Lee
condition of studied careiessnes. but mot
of Them with murderous looking macbete
hung at their belts which they tried 70
handle like Bismarck or the sidar If E<bar.
toum in thenr published pictures. AS tho
Oldest man in the squad was not over 10
the general effect was not impressive on
of them rushed up to the telephone ana
rang up some ''jefe," demanding that n
captain or general be sent somewhere
al once with a regiment or a corDoraPs
guard post-f aste. A long and vigorous
conversation ensued, and the amused smile
that began to flicker over the faces of the
Americans and Spanlards present when
me stormng party entered soon broad
ened into a grin and broke out in a horse
laugh The machete comrades of the kid
at the telephone tried to look fierce. ana
some of them went through the panic
mime of trying TO tug al their mustaches.
but as the whole crowd of them had less
hair on their faces than there is on tbe
back of a baby's neck, it was inexpressi-
bly, ridiculous.
BY the time the regiment had been in the
cafe five minutes everybody was laughing
at them and as they failed to buy anv
thing, not even package of cigarettes.
the proprietor, a fat, jolly Spaniard
laughed more heartily than any one. If
became too hot for the liberators. at last
and they left with an attempt at dignity
that might have made a statue of Wash
ington gurgle with glee.
After they had gone a Spaniard said 10,
an American, with an ironical suile.
"Senor are those the gentlemen who are
demanding $50OOO,0OO back pay from your
government