Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-10-28
QUEER THINGS MEN Dol

mereSt moonShine, said a philosophical
lawyer from San Francisco, who was in
Washington the other day. 81 simply aim
to indicate the absurdity of attempting to
forecast for ourselves. L shall give you
two exact illustrations of how 1 have seen
that sort of thing operate.
You have heard men of moderate in
comes dilate upon what they'd do If they
had money? The original methods they'd
employ to spend it? The islets in the
Aegean sea that they'd buy? The perpetual
saturnalia into which they'd plunge?
Ten years ago l knew young man IN
San Francisco whom we'll call Billy Bow
erS. He had position with an insurance
company that paid him $1,000 a year. He
was pretty swift proposition for man of
twenty-eight He belonged to the Bohe-
nian and other clubs. and he used to see
the rosy dawn about seven mornings IN
the week. In short, Billy went at such
clip that at the time l speak of he looked
like a sure loser; he bade fair to be n
wreck within very few years; it was
bet that he'd never see his thirty-f1fth
birthday. He held on to his position with
the insurance company because San Fran
cisco is a speedy burg, and things are in
diligently overlooked out there that
wouidn be tolerated back this way.
If I were to fall heir to million dol
lars Billy said to me one day, I'd be dead
in less than 4 twelvemonth.
L don't doubt it in the least L replied.
And the more fool you. You are endowed
with the mentality Of the ordinary oyster
of commerce and no more
This dig was inexact, for Bowers was
really a bright man, but l was sore over
his dissoluteness, having known him since
his infancy, and his people before him
We'll just three weeks after that con-
versation of ours Billy's aunt in Mendocino
county died, and. quite Unexpectedly, be-
Queathed pat one million dollars unto her
dearly beloved nephew, William Bowers.
Billy had been in apparent disfavor with
the old lady for years l was appointed
one of the trustees of the estate
Now, son, go it" said I when Billy
came to me to talk over the thing. The
millions yours-not tied up, but in cash
and convertible securities Plunge in and
see how quickly you can dissolve 1t. There's
no manner of use in talking to you. Kill
yourself, son!
BILLY gave me a slow smile. I hadn't
seen him quite thoroughly sober in sew
eral years. He didn't even smell of cloves.
He talked over details nationally that I
had to ridicuie him for his pretentious and
overwhelming sobriety He gave me more
slow smiles.
81 didn't see him at any of his clubs that
night, nor the next night, nor the next after
that. Three days later Billy dropped in on
me, clear-eyed, quiet, slick as whistle,
and invited me over to Oakland to see him
married. 1t was a quiet marriage. Billy
married one of the incest girls I ever saw
demure, clever. sweet-voiced woman who
sang in an Oakland choir. I told Billy in
an aside, after the ceremony, that my heart
went out to his poor wife, He passed me
another dreamy smile, and said nothing.
We'll. that was ten years ago. Every
Sunday 1 run down to Bllly's superb
side home In San Mateo county and take
dinner with him and his charming wife and
their four pretty children. 1 generally find
Billy cutting roses in the garden, or doing
something like that. He has never taken a
drink since the day he heard of his legacy,
He is worth something like two millions to-
day. He has been around the world with
nd fVy0 nf he chi He i-
Of the solidest, squarest men / know, and
husband for any woman to be proud of-as
his wife is. He is very fond of ancient his
tory Of his conServa tories, of music, and of
games of tag and bean-bag with his chill
dren. That is the Billy who told me that,
if anybody left him a million dollars, he'd
be dead and buried one year later.
"A bit more than ten years ago one of my
clients was sedate man who We'll call
James Powers. He was married, and had
three children. He was in the hardware
business, and made moderately good liv-
ing at it. He was of a religious turn of
mind. He was booked to fall heir to the
estate of an old bachelor uncle who had
cleaned up nearly million in Nevada min
anything to do with Powers, yet he had
notified Powers that he intended leaving
him all of his wealth. For two or three
years before the crusty old uncle died.
Powers had often dropped in on me and
discussed various philanthropic schemes
which he intended to undertake when he
came into possession of the old mans
money. The orphanages, the homes for
disabled seamen, the hospitals for incur
ables, the soup houses for hungry men,
that Powers was going to assist. were SIM
ply too numerous for me to keep tab on.
BY the time you get through doing all
Of these things I used to say to him,
'therell be nothing left for yourself
what is the good of money except for
the uses to which it can be put in helping
others? Powers would reply.
well, the old uncle died and he left
every sou-marQue and silver of his approx
mate million to my client, James Powers
whereupon, to employ a phrase of the
pave. James Powers went right up In the
air He was a man Of thirty-four, and had
always led a steady, precise life. In less
than month after considerable sum of
his legacy had been placed to his credit he
had acquired such taste for champagne
that you could usually see beads of 1t
standing out on his forehead at any hour
after noon. He sought admission to the
registering clubs, and 1t was not long before
he was the blade of them all.
Tut, tut, mani l would say to him,
why this misbehavior? You are not a lad.
How about the orphanages, the soup
houses, the hospitals? Moreover how about
your wife and children? Your conduct Is
that of a man suddenly bereft of his brains
1t were we'll that you should pull yourself
together and reflect
But the erstwhile sedate steady logging
James Powers would humble me a reply
to the general effect that, having been tied
down for large stretch Of years, he in
tended to regale himself for at least
period.
HE did regale himself 1t would have
been impossible for any man to attain dis
reputability in quicker time than James
Powers did. His legacy went like water
like wine, let me say. His wife was com
PEELED to sue him for separate maintenance.
There was no persuading James Powers
no clubbing sense into him. When a man
of thtrty-five begins at the top of the to-
boggan he has longer descent to make
than the lad who begins early.
Powers Is now in California ASYLUM
for the hopelessly insane. BY contriving,
enough was saved out of the wreck of his
fortune to maintain his broken-spirtted wife
and her children.
"In view of all of which one is tempted
to execute a wan smile when he hears
grown men or lads Numbering as to what
they'd do under particular combination of
circumstances.
James Bryce on the BOers