The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-12-21

NEVADA

Clara-And are you still searching 70
your ideal man? Maude-No: | hav
quit reading novels
She-Don't you think short skirt
make woman look shorter? He-Yes
but they make the men look longer
Judy.
You can't keep a secret. Marie.
Eyes, can, but always happen to tel
things to other girls who can't.g-Chl
cago Record.
XIII that mosquito. why don't your
81 would. you know. but | hate TO la.
violent hands on my own flesh ant
blood. Life.
Myer-Was Smyth's marriage a fall
ure? Gyer-Failure isn't name for II
Why, 1t proved to be a regular Della
ware peach crop.
''The Fillpinos haven't any Idea wha
a humane people We are" no: the,
are being taught, however. that appear
ances are deceitful.' Life.
Bill-Did you ever know an amateur
fisherman TO tell the truth? Jill-Oh
yes; l heard one tell another that h
was liar.-Yonkers Statesman.
Charlie Bing1e IS looking for Goa
of arms" ANY successy' Yep. He'i
found his grandfather was I
tailor. "-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Goodness. John. How queer tn,
baby looks. i believe he Is going t,
have a ftr' by George, | believ.
you are right. Where is my camera 2
-Tid-Bits.
Nexdoor-I haven't heard your dos
barking at night for some time. Homer
No, guess the poor fellow got discour
aged. We have twins at our houss
now, you know.
Mrs. Van Swamp William. dear. al
you have another chill coming ON. will
you kindly hold the by's rattle il
your hand? It amuses the sweet pre-
cious so much,-Bazar.
First Country Sport-Where do yot
put up when you go to New York
Second Country Sport-Oh. I'm not {
bit particular; all -pawnbrokers loci
alike to me. "-ExchaDge.
He-Do you know, darling. that
think 1t makes me better man every
time kiss you. She We'll. at the pace
you are going now there viii soon bt
no more room for improvement.
''No sensible girl would elope with
the coachman today" "why, no
Coachmen are back numbers. Shed
fly with the man who runs the auto
mobile. philadelphia Bulletin.
Little williezSay, pa.-whats a re
dundaney of expression? Pa Usin:
more words than are necessary to ex
press ones meaning. such as wealthy
iceman," wealthy plumber" etc.
Mr.. Slayer (time. 1880 p MIA re
you interested in baseball, Miss De
Jones? Miss De Jones (suppressing q
yawn)-Yes, to a certain extent. j dear
~ love to see a-man make-a home run
occasionally.
A strong recommendation: "But, sir
what has your candidate ever done to
deserve the support of the people ~
well. for one thing. this is the first
time he has ever run for Office. Chi
cago Journal. ):
Teacher-For what else was Julius
Caesar noted? Tommy Tucker lwbo
had studied the lesson somewhat hast
ily)-His great strength. ma'am. lie
threw bridge across the Rhine.-Chi-
ca on Trihnnes
1.-THE GOLDFISH, said the professor,
''lays considerably more than million
eggs" 1T Is exceedingly lucky for the
Goldfish thar she doesn't have to cackle
over every egg" said the student who
came from the country.-Tit-Bits.
Softleigh WEAKLY getting
to be-aw-quite poet. doncher know.
Miss Cutting Indeedi 8 Softlelsh--
Yaws; haye7a little book In which 4
aw-write down me Thoughts III whyme
evahwy nights-before wetiring. Miss
Cuttng-It will be volume Of blank
verse when finished, suppose.
81 hope you are one of the people
who can keep cool nsthe presence of
danger Il am" answered the man
who wanted place as private watch
man. Have you ever demonstrated
it," II have: once came near being
drowned in skating pond"-Wasi-
ington Star.
what is the woman's offenseg' .she
threw brick at neighbor woman,
your Honor. and hit a man standing
behind her" ..The man is guilty Of cons
tributory negligence. If he hadn't been
an idiot he would have stood in front OF
her. Case Is dismissed. ~ Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
8Z9Ss II H 81
"I'll bet thousand shouted the ex-
cited politician. that the editor had
no proofs of those damaging stories he
published against the boss ..Ill go
you" retorfed the little man with n
high forehead and two pairs OF glass
es. HE had the proofs and went
through them. word for word. and
o. KID the revIse'' ssWho In thunder
are your I'm the proof-reader.,s,-
Detroit Free Press. 5 z =
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