The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1899-01-25
Joseph's 2:37 Horse.

Tue UuItenDurg 1hCeJIhCk WIFI a
chuckle of satisfaction, "but my last
venture was Jim Dandy. Over in
Jersey a few weeks ago l was driving
along the pike about five miles from my
country home when an old farmer l
know poked his whiskers over his
fence and asked if didn't want to buy
an ancient plug which he held by
halter to keep from failing down. l
stopped, of course, and examined the
steed. There was about SO worth of
meat on him, So worth of vitality and
2 cents worth of speed. l didn't ex-
actly see what / could do with such
monumental wreck, but the horse-trad-
ing passion grew strong within me and
I said:
"'IIow much for the equine gold
brick2"
"'Thirty dollars, returned the far
mer.
For how many?" / asked politely.
"'This is selected stock. Come one
in box was his retort.
"'I give you ten, said 1, 'and no
questions asked.
"Lets divide the pot he soid, Gail
1T twenty and this beautiful HambletO-
nian is your'n.
"Well, l liked the farmer and l
liked his sporty talk, and as | had
spent some previous time in dalliance
at the roadhouse, money had ceased TO
look as lovely as usual. SO gave him
the twenty and led the four-legged
graveyard home. i kept him on grass
for week or TWO and noticed that he
began to pick up a little form. This
also attracted the attention of coal
black gentlemen whom l employ on
my place as valet to the cows and les
ser stock. One bright, dewy morning
he shuffl I'd up and said:
"'Boss, what yo' taak fo' new hosp
"'Does some benevolent association
want to buy him?' l asked. The
black gentleman grinned till his teeth
looked like monument builders eX-
hibit at worlds fair.
emo, sah,' said he. 'Ah's lookin'
TO- boss flesh TO- m'self.'
'''But this is very valuable animal,
Joseph said l refectively, and his
possibilities in speed are unlimited.
The only thing that worries me is his
impossibilities. / should think 800
"Ah'll give yo' fifty, boss broke in
L III
GA kind heart and generous, noble
nature have always been against me
in matters of commerce, 30 sold the
nag to the black gentleman for his half
century and dismissed the transaction
from my mind as unworthy of regret.
But few days later he came around
to discuss his purchase.
"'Boss,' said he. 'Ah's pow'ful sor-
ry TO- yo'.'
"'What's the matter with me?'
asked. Am sick again?'
"'You done will be wen yo' heahs
de news he answered Boss, dat
fifty-dollah boss yo' done sole me goes
in two-.huty-sevenn
"'Don't, Joseph said l, panied be.
yond expression at this evidence of de-
cadence. Remember Ananias and
what one puny little effort did for him.
"'Fact, boss; deed hit is,' he insist.
ed. Then he called runt of an Afri-
can who had recently appeared in the
neighborhood to come and back up his
assertion.
"'Two-thuty-seven's his time, sah,'
said the runt, pulling out handsome
stop watch, which he explained in some
by lady friend for being good. Mem
Joe done had him down to the track N
trotted him round in yo' ole sulky in
dat time, sub, 'cordin' to de watch
"If that is the case, Joseph said l,
Il am willing to buy the animal back at
a comfortable advance. Looking at
the horse now in charitable light,
perceive that his days are numbered
and will soon be tabulated on cold,
cold stone. You may touch me for $50
and I'll take the animal off your hands,
"But the low-down African grinned.
"Bid him up, boss, said he. Abs
used 10 auctions
"Joseph,' said I, you grieve me
deeply. Would you for the mere greed
of filthy gold restrain the hand Of be-
nevolence? I'll give you $685.
"Money'll have t. talk loude'n dat,
boss,' said the perverse one. Once
no. eff yo' please
"'Seventy dollars, then, if you're
good
"tDat's A. B. G. boss. Sling some
good old diction'ry langwidge wild free
6gahs in hit
"Well, before / got through with
Joseph ne ran me up 10 $lI6 linen 1
started over to the track with him, his
runt friend with the stop watch, and
the bony old glue-pot filler of horse
to witness performance before paying
my cash. The track in question ia an
abandoned bicycle course which over
hauled last spring as sprinting place
for my own horses and the horses of
my friends. When we arrived the two
black gentlemen hustled the nag into
an old sulky. Joseph mounted, and the
funeral procession moved up the course
The runt pulled his stop watch and ]
consulted mine. Joseph piled the
whip and let his record-breaker out for
all he was worth, which appeared to he
about as much as goat hitched to q
canal boat.
"By and by, as the sun went down
and the moon came up, Joseph and his
horse came under the wire.
g. tyVhat,a de timao, he aaked his