The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-02-16
WHAT DoOLEY SAYS,
From the Chicago journal.

From the Chicago Journal.
"Well SIR said Mr. Doolev .it
looks now as If there was nothing left
f'r me young frind Aggynaldoo to dc
4 but time. Like as not a wear firm now
he'll be in jail, like Napoleon, tn i'm
| pror ~ tn fr-rinch, was in his day,
an, Mike, tn, Burglar, an other natf.
rites. That's what comes ~ being a
pathrite too long. 'Tis good job whin
they'se nawthin' else to do. but its
not tn thing to wurruk overtime at.
us q sort " out-iv-dure sport that
We shud engage in durin' tn summer
vacalion' put Whin man carries it
on ourln business hours people begin
| to get down on him, an afther awhile
lney re ready to hang him to get him
| out ~ tn way. AS Hogan says, TIL
| las, thing that happens to pathrite
ne s a scoundhrel.'
Las summer there wasn't warmer
| dominions thin this same Aggynaldoo
l was with him, mesilf. Says I, 'They'se
| good coon,' I says. He'll help us
fer to make TIL Philippians indipind-
ant on us FIR support says, an
| whin TIL blessin's Nv civilization has
been ixtinded to his beloved country
an says, they put up intarna1 riv-
inue offices an postoff1ces, I says,
We'll give him good job as letter
| carrier I says, where he won't have
anything to do I says. but walk
| I says
AN so TIL consul at Ding Dong, tn,
man that run that ind Nv tn war, he
says to Aggynaldoo: Co. he says,
'wher glory watts ye,' he says. GO
an strike a blow he says, 'fr ye're
country he says. Co. he says, I'll
stay but you co. he says. There's
naWthin' in stayin.' an We might get
hold " tyrannical watch or pocket
book down beyant.' he says. An off
whit TIL brave pathrite to do his iooty.
He done it, too. Whin Cousin George
was pastin' tn former hated CASTLES
VINO was 1T stood on TIL shore shootin'
his bow an arrow into tn sky, but
Aggynaldoo? Whin me frind Gin'ral
Merritt was ladin' a gallant charge
again blank cartridges, who was it rang
ed his noble ARMY in pathrites behind
MIN f'r to see that no wan attacked
him firm tn sea but Aggynaldoo? He
was good man thin--a good noisy
| man.
'"Th' thrubble was he didn't know
Whin to knock off. He didn't hear tn
wurruk bell calm him to come in firm
playin' ball an get down to business.
says me Cousin George: 'Aggynaldoo.
me buck, he says, 'th' war is over he
says. an we've settled down to TIL OF
game ne says. They're no more heroes.
All Nv thin has gone to wurruk FIR tn
iiesSe1]AAlCS. lASy iS llO more
ne says. They've got jobs as gov nors
or ARE lookin' FIR thin or anything
else he says. All TIL prom mint saviors
| Nv their country he says, but mesilf,'
he says, is busy preparin their definse,'
he says. I have no definse,' he says,
but IN where they can't reach me-, he
says. TIL sport is all out iv tn job
an if ye don't come in an jine TIL tilin'
masses iv wage wurrukers,' he says, we
won't even have tn credit iv bein' licked
in gloryous victhry,' he says. SO to
tn wood pile with ye.' he says, FIR We
can't go on cillybratin' tn Foorth iv
July without bein' took up FIR disordhly
conduct he says.
An Aggynaldoo doesn't understand
it. An he gathers his Archery club
ar-round him an says he: Fellow
pathrites,' he says, we've been bethray-
ed he says. We've been sold out with
out, he says, 'gettin' tn usual COM
mission he says. We're still heroes
he says, AN our pitchers is in tn pa
apers,' he says. Go ill.,, he says, AN
sthrike blow at tn gay deceivers,' he
says. I'll sell yer lives dear he says.
An the Archery club wint in. TIL path
rites Wint up again a band iv Kansas
sojers, that was wanst heroes before
they larned tn -foot-sthraw-foot
an is now arnin' tn wages iv a good
| harvest hand all tn year ar-round an
d rather fight than ate tn ARMY beef,
an We know what happened. Some iv
tn poor divvils iv heroes is liberated
firm TIL cares iv life, an tn r-rest iv
thin is up in threes an wishin' they was
home smokin' good seegar with
mother.
AN all this because Aggynaldoo
didn't hear tn whistle blow. He thought
| tn boom was still on in tn hero bust
ness. If he'd come in ye'd be hearin'
that James Hatch Aggynaldoo'd been
appinted foorth- class postmasther at
Hootchy-Kootchy, but now TIL mex We
know iv him II be on TIL blotter at the
polls station: James Hatch Aggynal-
doc, ais Pompydoor Jim, charged with
carryin' concealed weepins an raysistin'
an officer Pathritism always dies whin
We establish polls foorce.''
''Well,' said Mr.. Hennessy. I'm kind
Nv sorry FIR la-ads with TIL bows-and'-
arrows. Maybe they think they're path
rites"
''Divvil tn bit iv difference it makes
what they think, so long as we don't
think so,' said Mr.. Dooley. Its what
Father Kelly calls a case iv mayhem
ct chew 'em. That's Latin, Hinnissy,
an it names what's wan mans food is
another's mans pizen.'