The free lance. (Fredericksburg, Va.) 1885-1926, 1899-10-07
EUGENE FIELDS JOKE.
Campaign in Which colored People, Water
melons and Dogs Figured.
From the N. Y. Mail and Express J

From the N \. Mall ana EApltss
An inert Gene Field WAS an impos-
sibllity. Activity personided, he WIS
ever restless and only supremely bap-
ny hen bu lily engaged IN playing
some practical joke on his ever'sus-
pecting, but lever wary friends.
Once when | was chairman of the
Republican County Central Commit
tee, says the Hon. Wolfe LDndoDer,
and working zealously to carry every
point for the party, ! WAS especially
delegated 10 work up enthusiasm
among the oolored voters Of the city.
| undertook my task and personally
interviewed many leaders and called
them into caucus, and everything
WAS moving along smoothly toward
success. la an untoward moment the
following appeared in bowling scare
heads in the morning dailies;
Wanted-Every colored man in
the city to call at Wolfe L1ndOner's
store. A carload of Georgia water
melons just received for especial dis
tribution among his c0lored friends
Call early and get your melon"
Needless to say that when the store
opened in the morning an ever.in-
creasing cloud of dusky humanity
gathered about the entrance until
business came to standshll. No
explanation could appesse the fast
gathering displessure of the crowd,
aud expostulstions were taken as only
subterfuges to avoid fulfilling the
tempting promises of the morning
papers, for whose juicy suggestions
nun berless mouths were wsterlngly
waiting. | was st my wits end what
to do or which way TO turn. No
thought of melons had arisen in the
market. It was early in the season.
1t was possible that melons might eX'
ist somewhere, but certainly | had
ordered none and expected none.
In despair few to the telephone,
and, after many failures to locate a
single melon, fnally got track of q
carload which had just arrived. |
was saved. The price wss exhorbi'
tant, but paid it gladly, and with
savage delight | distributed all the
entire carload to my dusky friends,
all the while beratiDg the tsrdy rail
way for not delivering my loDg-ex-
pected supply on the day before. The
melons did the trick, and the cam
paiQn WAS success.
A few days afterward came my hour
of revenge, and | never had greater
relish in getting even with friend
Burglars had attempted the impossi
BILE feat of purloining something from
Mr.. Eugene Field that only Field,
who, whatever he might appropriate
to himself of the property of others
in his regardless way as to exact
ownership, was nevertheless proof
against any such thing happening in
his own case, by reason of his never
keeping anything long enough to be
burglsrlzed. However, the stupid
burglars made the attempt.
Next day the papers recOunting the
fair also had an advertisement, sly
ly inserted, as follows:
Wauted-To buy a dog High.
est price paid for good watch dog
Apply to E. Field"
The dog came, but be came 30 nu-
merously, be came in so many differ
ent kinds. colors, manners and forms
that no bench show ever held nigh so
numberless and ever-increasipg
crowd. Tue building was alive with
dogs, the stairs were iammed with
dogs, the Railways were running full
with dogs and more were seeking
admittance. Cries, howls, swapping,
biting and fierce fighting ran riot
among the canine conglomeration,
and when the general tumult and bat,
tie had extended to the owners as well
as the brutes themselves, the police
department was called to quell the
uproar and inform the venders OF
dogs that Mr.. Field had all tho dogs
he wanted. He certainly ought to
have been satisfied with the assort'
ment | sent bin.