The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1899-06-28
FAT DRUMERs GETTING RARE.
Conjuring Has Caused a Revolution
in the Methods of the Trade.

Coniuring Has Caused a Revolution
in the Methods of the Trade.
1.-The business amt what it used to be-
sighed the shoe drummer. who was tall
and thin and solemn looking, and might
have been taken for either minister or
an qndertaker Its golng 10 81 1hf n GDE
his sympathizng friend
The matter with it?" echoed the shoe
drummer. Matter enough. Look at
ii II could look at you with better effect
were we to adjourn to the cafe.
"oh, hang it all, man I'm not ]oaln got
admit of Jokes. Spiel on"
What i was going to say. continued ea
the shoe house drummer, Us that no on, one
OF the gripsack, representative OF the
great commercial interests of this coun-
"Possibly not" agreed the sympathiz-
ing friend But why wouldn't they
I'm too thin answered the drummer
in a doeful voice.
lifting his eyebrows: what in the name
of the three witches has that got to do
with it?"
"Everything." groaned the shoe house
drummer. What's your ideal of COM
mercial traveller"
"A rubicund, cherry-faced fellow with
humor, an explosive joy, a capacity for
various vinous. malt and spurious liquors,
controlled only by the limits Of the ex-
belaisian anecdote.'
do 1 fiji the bill?''
well, to be frank, old man." laughed
the sympathiZing friend, you bear about
as much resemblance to the ideal drum
mer as Don Quixote does to Jack Fal-
Now that you're talking. said the
shoe house drummer, lighting a mulatto
stogie.. how many Of the fellows you
know in this business are fat?
Not one that | know Of answered the
sympathizing friend, after he had re-
flected for a few moments.
Right again." asserted the shoe house
drummer, with a melancholy smile. Fat
drummers are as rare as hamingoes IN
Florida
ing of all too solid fiesh?" asked the SYM
pathizing friend.
"Oh. the revolution in the methods of
the trade is responsible for it, The boys
of the old school aren't in it nowadays
1t used to be that a drummer worth MS
salt had to be an alcohol immune He
had to be able to drink an intending pur-
| chaser under the table. No wonder he
got fat But times have changed. A
fellow who makes any money in these de-
generate days can't afford to cultivate an
artistic thirst and what's more he's got
to be a blooming parlor entertainer.
"a what?" gasped the sympathizing
friend.
"A parlor entertainer-a prestidigitator-
a conjuring chump. Savvy?"
Il think | do said the sympathizing
| friend family.
Wei. that's why. the, business s is going going
drummer, in a bitter voice. "A fellow
! isn't able to sell a bill of goods in the
country now without hypnotizing the
merchant and Keeling off a dozen tricks.
Oh, I've been at it a year now, and L m
Houdin, Keller and Hermann all rolled
into one / make dollar bills change into
tens; l change queen of clubs into an
ace of hearts, and everywhere go give
gratis exhibitions of my skill y
II should think that there'd be lots of
fun in it," said the sympathizing friend.
oh. yes, there's no end of fun in It,
replied the shoe house drummer YEARLY.
That's what l thought at first. All the
! boys who were going in for slefght of
hand in order to attract customers told
me that there was more fun in taking half
dollars from a mans nose than in taking
that same man out for a high ball. But
I've changed my mind. You don't want
to believe those boys. They are. willies
| If they spring that gag on you. I've got
enough prestidigitation in mine"
How So?
Il was working the sleight-of-hand
racket up in in Rochester few weeks
ago" began the shoe house drummer, but
the sympathizing friend interrupted him.
Il thought you POI, Q, only ,p9racticed your arts
"Oh, we'll it's the same thing re-
marked the shoe house drummer, with
shrug of his shoulders. The only differ
ence between Rochester and other country
towns is that Rochester owns a part of
the Board of Arbitration. But, as I was
saving. | was doing the 'kingpin- of -necro-
NANCY act. and l thought l had the pro-
prietor of one of the big shoe houses there
| dead to rights. He was dead easy, and
Just put the cold clappers on him for good.
Never saw man so astonished in all my
! life. I iuggled away cards, coins, hand
kerchiefs and pencils easily as an alli-
gator swallows doughnuts. He just Cog
gled his eyes on me and gasped Whenever
I made anything disappear or reappear
and 1 had put him down in my little book
for a couple of thousand plunks But
didn't rush in and uppercut him and take
| chances of being accidentally put out No
sir fiddled around in good old Jim JEFF
| fries style and kept him guessing Finally
I saw my opening and I sailed in. Here
says I. producing silver dollar. is gen
uine specimen OF. the current coin Of the
the counter to prove that it was all wool
and yard wide. The proprietor looked at
it closely and said it was all right. Right
you are says 1, and 1 put 1t on the tips
of my fingers.
You are certain this is a genuine spon-
dulx?' says l.
"T am says he; do your worst
Now watch me close says l.
I'm all eyes says he.
Then put out your hand says I, as
sunnlements of a yellow Journal S .i'e comic
He held out his paw and I tossed the
dollar into his palm. and the old fellow
clutched it like a lobster clawlng gravel
/ smiled like I fancied Kellar would smile
in similar situation.
you've got the dollar in your hardo'
I asked.
81 have said he, and I never let go
of a dollar once l get my hand on it,
"'Open your fist, l commanded. The old
curmudgeon spread his fingers omen
slowly. and, presto! there on his palm
was twenty-dolar gold piece.
A capital trick he explained; "a
capital trick
~ think so myself I said compla-
Gently.
! "'But what's become Of the dollar7, he