Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1899-09-28
hA'SlE1sqFI,

Larry--TH dog thot bit ye he'd Ills
tongue out. Denny Bedad.. O} wish
he hod hod his lathe sapt. "a
$50 you heard man say he thought
Miss Bangs played the plano beauti-
fullyT Yes. You see 1t was deaf
Observation-Disclosures Bulletin.
stubb-I tell you that old retired
sailor said the right thing when the
cyclone shook his house. Penn-What
did he say? Stubb-Shiver my timbers.
Pearl-Goodness! Who is that rude
man putting his cigar in our facesT
Ruby-He is one Of the men who de-
clares the smoke nuisance must be
abated.
Jane, did you break the china
plate" "Yes'm. You got taken in
with that plate, mum. It's a weak 'un.
1t broke the fourth time / dropped III"
.--Tit-Bits.
johnson has quit playing poker, L
notice." "Yes; he said that mis- wife.
cried about 1t so that he gave 1t up"
"Ah! see. Game called on account of
indianapolis Journal.
Stubb-Why in the world did they
call that feat, bucking horse Delay2.
He throws every one that attempts to
ride him. Penn-They called him that
because Delays are dangerous" ~
poor Bilkins is dead. He drank
gallon and half of straight whisky,
fourteen high balls and half a keg Of
beer night before last" SIS that so?
What was the cause of his death?"
The Missionary-My erring brother,
have you been Christianized? The Ma
tive-NOt completely. They have COB
bled all my land, but still have my
Few clothes.-Indianapof Journal.
Miss De Puyster-I can trace my an
cestors back to the reformation. De
Jones-Thats nothing. / can trace
mine back years and years before they
attempted to reform.-Chicago News.
"Did the last show have good runy'
inquired the advance agent. Il should
think so, stranger" responded Amber
Pete, thirty miles with dogs an gun
behind you is pretty good run, amt
itY'
'Of all the delegates that met at
that Christian Endeavor convention"
said DR.. j. 1. Hill, II liked him best
who, on being asked what his business
was said, L am a cheer-up-odist.' -
Success.
Jones-I actually believe, my dear,
that you think more Of my dog than
you do Of me. Mrs. Jones-Pd like to
know why you think so. Jones-Well,
you never allow him to eat anything
you cook.
Scene-Canal side, Sunday morning.
Lady-Do you know where little boys
go to who battle on Sunday? First
Arab-Yus. It's farder up the canal
side. But you can't go. Girls amt
allowed!Punch.
Torrance with a nod)--Yer not work
in, Dinnie. Are yez out of a job?
Dennis-Shure. Oh fell off nine-shtory
buildin' yesterday. an Oh got mad an
quit. Terrance-Aw, so on! Yer too
sinsitive.-Judge.
do you know who you are underw
Numbered the British and German in
one breath. YES" responded the ma
tive of far-away Samoa, ''some Of US
are under the weather, and the rest
are under a delusion."
"Aguinaldo declares" said the corpo-
raj with the newspaper, that in few
weeks the European powers will recog-
IL vot An1 Iriel y,
volunteer. Ibis own muther wouldn't
recognize him If wac kitch him."
"Do more people die one season than
they do another" asked the promising
boy in the insurance office. II don't
know about that" responded the boss,
@but 1t seems very strange that grand
mothers should always pass away dur
ing the baseball season."
Quinn-The bill passed by our Con-
gresham was identically the same as
the one passed by the New York Con-
gresham. De Fonte-Well, it's a won
der our Congressman was not appre-
hended. Quinn-What for? De Fonte
Passing a counterfeit bill.
DIR. Quack-You seem to be much bet
ter this morning. OF course you fol-
lowed the prescription gave you? Pa
tient-Indeed l didn't. If 1 had, the
chances are l would have broken my
neck. DR.. Quack-Why, what do you
mean? Patient-I threw the prescrip-
ton out Of the third-story window
Chicago News.
City Editor-Mr. Strong has been in
to-day, and he had murder in HIS eye.
How in time did you come to speak of
Mrs. Strongs alleged husband in
that paragraph about her accident? j.
Fresh-I did 1t TO steer clear of libel
suit. You know you told me always to
say alleged thief" alleged murder
err" and that sort of thing.-Boston
Transcript.
An Irishman who had taken a seat in
a theatsr other than the one his re-
served check called for was. remon-
strated with by the usher, who insist
ed on his getting up and giving his seat
to the rightful purchaser. "G'wan wild
ye,' excitedly retorted the Celt; ''the
safe is moline, an ORR shtand up for
me roights Of 1 hev to sit here all
oight."--Richmond Dispatch.