The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1899-08-23
JADE WON THE BELLE
YET HIS FACE WAS HoMELY ENOUGH
TO SCARE CHILDREN.

TO SCARE CHILDREN.
He Had Given Up All Hope OF Ever
Getting IA Wife Until lie Accidcn-
tally Learned Ills Power. aud Then
lie Got Mighty Particular.
Il reckon Jabe Hawkins was about
the ugliest man the Lord ever let live"
said Uncle Ben rs he meditatIvcly
whetted his knife upon his boot leg.
I've knowcd strangers TO follcr that
man around for Il half hour Jest to git
another look Mt his face an then go
right off an take Il drink o Ticker.
Seemed TO kind o give 'em II relish for
1t. I've knowed fool women to scare
their children into spasms by threaten
in to give 'em to Jabe, an they do say
he's been the cause o more than one
runaway. lie was jest pizen ugly, an
that's all they was to 1t. 1t was Il durn
pity, too, because he was II mighty nice
man II you happened to meet him in
the dark, an he had money In tho
bank ut Maple Run an so acres o. as
fine bottom land as ever felt plow.
well, In spite o. him bein so blame
homcly that he dasscnt look woman
In the face, this we're cuss was always
wantin TO git married, but, o. course,
they want no way to get at 1t. He
advertised some In the city paper an
writ letters to lots o women that way,
but he was honest to the core, an when
the thing got along fur enough SOS
they might anything come O 1t he al
ways sent his photograph. an that end
cd 1t.
"oncet they was n mighty likely
widow from way back east that got to
lIkin Jabe purity we'll through his let
ter wrltin, an | must say he was Il
good hand Mt that before he sent his
piekshur. After studyln over his line
ments for n couple O months she made
up her mind TO come on anyhow, but
when she ACCESSIBILITY saw Jabe In the
flesh she backed out an married 81 Pc
ter, au she made him II mighty fine
wife, barrln the fact that she had Il
2o=year-old son that bobbed up after
shftless as It's possible fur n man TO
git an live.
"rhen Jabc gifts desperlt, an he UP an
offers n hundred dollars reward TO any
body ms will git him a pardner. But
that didn't amount TO much. ole bud
Harris lowed he'd make his oldest
girl, Mrandy, the one that had the
harelIp, Jine him. an Jabe. KNOWN
his own Shortcomings, was satisfied to
git anybody most, but Mirandy took
epllcptic fits an died before the weddln
come Off, an folks all aroun said 1t was
n judgment on bud.
"Then Jim Damn brung aroun his
half wltted girl, an Jabe studied Il
long while over 1t, thinkln mebby that
IL they was goin to be children come
with his ugliness they'd better be fools,
too, SOS they wouldn't realize 1t. The
girl seemed to take II fancy to Jabo
| right away an wanted to kiss him, but
| he changed his mind right Off, properly
decldln chat he couldn't stand anybody
that was as big fool as TINT.
| "Things was this-a-way when there
was n hypnotizer come through Maple
Run an give show, an he asked for
| DtbDlc W tblllt UP pii iHt Iittipi III bii
be hypnotlzcd. Everybody most was
afraid to go till Jabe made the break,
sayin II didn't matter much what be-
come o. him nohow, an then five more
went up like they aluz do.
"Well, the mint this here hypnotlst
took hold o. Jabcs head an tilted II
| back to git good look in his eyes he
,,IUa "a fuuuU IitiIn iump nm
az can't do nothn with you. Why
man, you may not know 1t, but you
got more power than | have. If you
fix them fine blue eyes o your'n on
anybody, they Just nachelly have to do
what you say
"Then he let Jabe go m made Wash
Dllins fight bumblebees an preten' he
was n dog an do the most outlnndlsh
things you ever heard Of gosh, 1t
was funny, an he made some o tho
others act up, too, but none so much as
ole Wash, an the next day he went
away.
"But he made a mighty big change In
| Jabe's life. Y'see up TO this time Jabe
allus dropped Ills eyes every time he
see woman comm, an the woman allus
looked the other way. IIut now Jabo
made up his mind to try 1t, an so he
looked, an all the women knowcd
about 1t, so they looked, an they found
out that them eyes was mighty fine If
you looked Mt 'em so keen you couldn't
see the rest o his face. They was
| mostly scared, too, since they heard
as how Jabe was Il hypnotlzer If he
only wanted TO be hathaway; but, O.
course, that only made 'em look all the
| more.
"First off, Jabe didn't have the sand
to look at tile best lookin girls, but only
the homcly ones, an 1t wasn't two
weeks till he could o had his choice o
a dozen girls. You see, they got to
talllIn to him an studyln them eyes o
| hiss'n, an fust thing they knowed they
was hankcrin after 'em. But Jabe got
particular. They WAS time when he'd
| been tlcltled to death TO have any girl
that wore dresses keep comply with
| him, but lie KEEP ralsln his idecs every
day till G1'ly he sot his mind on wlnnln
| Hctty Allen, that was the blamedest
purtlest girl In the whole country an
| had n dozen fine lookln fellers with
good horses mn buggics an some land
tryln to court her, an blame II he didn't
! git her. An the funniest part OF 1t all
Is that there amt no purifier young
uns anywhere than them seven chill
drcn o Jabe's. An they all got blue
eyes, every one OF 'em, an the rest Is
| like their mother"
The sun Is blue.