The Globe-republican. [volume] (Dodge City, Kan.) 1889-1910, 1899-12-07
THE AMATEUR REFoR1GEn.
Fat Weed Sawyer In tie
=. Sleeper.

Cn'ngk-k-k-k-g-g-g-gk! Aw-w-w-w-wl
Gr-r-r-r-r-sngk! Gugk-ngk-ngk-ngk!
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo
There were variations, but this
seemed to be the burden of the song.
The recital had been in progress 9
considerable time. and symptoms Of
impatience on the part of the audience
began to manifest themselves.
Ring off"
"Give him air!"
"Live it down, old mani"
'Ten my mother died for my coun'
try!"
'.Louder!"
'Put the rest of it in writing!"
''Shut the box!"
do it in ragtime!"
kill it! Strangle it! Give it de
boots!"
/ But the solo went on:
"Sn'gk! Ng-ng-ng-ng-ngk! All oo'
oo-oo-oorp! Gl-gl-gI"
! The curtains of tie opposite bert3,
opened, and in the dim light large
bony hand was seen grasping the south
ern extremity of a cane.
The cane presently was seen to be
feeling its way across the intervening
space. 1t parted the curtains that hid
the musician from view. The curve at
the end of it hooked itself around q
large, fat arm and then the stick was
pulled backward with decisive jerk.
"Hey? Hey? What-what's the mat
ter?" exclaimed husky voice.
''That's what am trying to find out"
replied the owner Of the bony hand.
''Is it something that will yield to treat
ment. Did you ever take liver pills for
it?'
what are you disturbing me fort
What do you want? Who the deuce are
your"
I'm committee of one to ascertain
on behalf of this carload of suffering
people what it Is that ails you, and to
see if something can't be done. Are you
open to any offers of compromise?
care you drunk, sir, or are you only
crazy?"
"Never mind what my trouble is.
What we want to know-and ask it in
q perfectly respectful manner-is
whether or not you have an engage
ment to serenude the passengers in this
coach, and whether or not it's whole
night stand. Because, if it is
"Eh!" snorted the fat passenger, now
thoroughly awake, you're taking a
good deal on yourself, sir!''
II am. And took good deal before
I made any kick. I'm the last man on
earth to trespass on the rights of other
people, but
'Was it you who woke me up?"
81 cannot tell lie. 1 did it with my
little cane"
''Confound you, s;r!"-and he threw
his legs out over the edge of the berth
IF you're hunting for trouble"
"Wait a moment" said the other, re.
versing his cane. IF you come any
nearer I'll sink an oil well into you.
Let us discuss this matter in spirit Of
friendly investigation. You haven't
half the excuse for losing your temper
that have"
A dozen heads were thrust out from
as many berths, and a dozen pairs of
ears were listening with keen interest
to the discussion.
The car combination charges me two
dollars for the use Of this padded SHELF"
the owner Of the cane, with
the implied agreement that 1 am to
have a nights sleep. You have muir
dered that sleep. You killed it of be-
lore 1 even"
"Blank-dash you'll" roared the beefy
man. 1--WE paid two dollars, tool What
right have you"
$50 have wei" shouted dozen voices.
3ne after the other.
'Was I talking in my sleepl" de,
handed the aggrieved colossus, slightly |
checked by this unexpected demonstra-
ion.
mo. you were not talking" respond.
ID the committee of one. "You were
Giving an imitation Of Wagner con-
:ert, with boiler factory accompani-
nent and fog horn obligato. You were
'noring, sir, to beat the Pullman band.
Do we hear any apology, sir2 Any ex,
of regret? ANY promise OF
mo! I'll see you damned frst!"
Then, sir, you are out of place in this
ar. You ought to travel in hog train.
70 man with a snore like yours has any
business to take it with him on q night
quincy where civilized human beings
ave to run up against it. In Heavens
ZANE can't you sleep sitting up? Can't
'ou stay awake awhile and give the
est of US q chance? Can't you gag
'ourself with the pillow? It's about
he right size. Can't you throw your
elf from the train? Cant you take
top! I'm talking. You've snored at
ne for nearly an hour, and it's my
urn. have only few more words to
az to you. though. Human endur-
nee has limit, and If don't get any
leep this night I'll see that you don't
on turn that corn shelter loose again,
~ dear friend, and I'll wake you up
gain-every time"
IF he doesn't we will" shouted the !
ther voices, one after the other. |.