The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1899-07-09

They used to have great trick OF doin'
that after they's got their fhon. / had .
fellow by the name OF Conroy in his place
n We hadn't got along very TAR fore I
came 10 the conclusion that he was . mite
under the weather. too, m he couldn't
make the old co. steam nohow. The out
come Of II was that We laid down several
times on the trip m barely caught the
steamer with our export freight Old Nut
head, the enJsne dispatcher. he maze me
walk the carpet m said IL didn't do bet
tern that he'd drop me back on coal again
hadn't been runnin' fast freight very
long n left him feelin' rather testy. but
thought that durfn' our lay-over In this
end he'd kinder pound his ear n sleep
on the booze n be all right goin' back.
Making slow Tine to Chieago..
1--WE caught train - for the return trip
with about thirteen cars perishable stun
for Chicago. which were rugged up with
the ar. which was a purity good string OF
airhrake cars for those days. n about
fifteen scabs, without air. l was thinkin'
what stop you could make on short no.
tice with them N how you could turn
things over in the caboose. Old Joe Hoff-
man was our conductor n he was an awful:
man to swear N cut up high jinks X
everything didn't come his way.
I'VE hadn't moved out very far along
the meaders when saw as how I'd have
to do some tall fgur.n' to git that train
in on time. Soonss we'd git to a little
grade I'd crop her down q notch or two
n she'd kick up her heels n lay right
down for want of wind. Conroy, instead
OF sleepin' while he was on duty. had gone
out n put on some finishin' touches n
made It worse
"You can just guess was mad clean
through N thought to myself as how I
would get Mr.. Conroy about thirty days
in which to rest m p'raps end his little
railroad career socn's we got home again.
When we got to the first waterin' tank.
about forty miles out. we had used up just
two hours m fifteen minutes. The regu-
lar runnin' time was only an hour n forty
five minutes. so you see we'd lost thirty
minutes on forty miles almost level m
with a light train. The outlook was that
we'd never make the heavier grades on the
While was oilin' around Hoffman came
runnin' up cussin' like one mad n says:
'Blankety blank blank you. what the
blanks matter wider? wanter git home
in time for church Sunday. Here's mes
sage from Jersey which says a. how II
yer don't hurry up they'll take yer of here
at the mex plug n give Us . respectable
man.
'As this was only about midnight Tues
day night his speech got my dander up
m I tolc, him az how he n Jersey could
both go where asbestos. clothing u . boon
n the broilin' sun never sets. But
climbed up on the tank m maybe didn't
give that fireman q settin' out.
Attacked ~ the Maniac.
"'You long. lanlky blunderbuss.' says.
for he was big codger. much bigger'n
meself. II you don't take purity sud-
den brace m keep the wind up on this
mogawl till we get in you might as well
sit right down here n send your regrets
we git In. or my name amt John Stat
ford
HE give me q kinder reproachful look
n commenced nxin' his fire. Az turned
to put my oil can in the box spied Z bot
tie Of whisky. I grabbed that bottle m
turned roun' to Ccnroy. Aha. says. 30
this is the cause OF our gaspln' for breath
every FIVE minutes. - II? Well. here she
goes n I plugged that bottle over on
the track and broke 1t into nifty pieces,
not without some regrets. az II had pref
ty good smell. N I'm not dead net against
the stun myself. but let her 60
I'VE got started again N walked away
up the hill from the tank easy m mo-
ticed an improvement In the steam gauge
right away. m / commenced to let 'er
out at once to make up for lost time. II
was purity good. even goin' then for about
three miles n down the mountain side
twelve miles When We struck the top of
that twelve-mile hill / kept her vide open
for . bout half mile to sive us = good
start DOWN the hill m then shut her on
n let 'em buzz.
boiler runnin' right through the cab to
the back. dividin' the fireman and engi-
neer's g. lie. The a.rbrake valve was placed
right on top the boiler. toward the back
end of the cab. SOS you could reach It
nice m handy while settin' In the seat.
I'd no more'n shut her Of when . shadder
fell over my shoulder m turned quick
and Conroy sprung on me.
You dirty blackguardr he screamed.
IN teach yer TO chuck my bocse over
board. Report me. 10 II? You dirty rag!
Shure'n you'll never live to see the super
again.
''As he leapt on me Il took me back 20
that before 1 could do anything he grab
bed me by the shoulder m I tell back
ward alongside the boiler. my head on the
front doorsill OF the cab. Although was
partly stunned by the fall had mind
enough left to get my arms around him
m hug him close TO me.
"All this while the train had been gainin'
Roadway down that Hill N we were fairly
'szz.in', the old mogawi swayin' to m fro
as we swung around turns.
Narrow Escape From Wreck
"The space between the boiler m the side
OF the cab was 50 narrer couldn't turn
conroy on me n I didn't dare let loose
OF him for fear that he'd get hold OF my
throat. He was 30 crazed by the IQdor
that he'd drunk n his cravin' for more
that there was no reasonin' with him He
was 50 big n heavy that couldn't Co
much the way we lay. nv back nat on
the floor, hemmed In by the side OF the
cab on one side and the boiler on the other
m huggin' him like lon9-iost brother,
the cars behind us meanwhile doin' the
ragtime down that hill. Things were get
tin rather excit.n'. as there was likely TO
be something ahead OF US. m at the foot
OF the Hill was another water plug II
was branch station there m the enjines
were swifchin there at all times IL we
ever hit anything At that rate Of speed
don't think Joe Hoffman or any OF US
would ever get In church but once again,
n that would be ahead OF the mourners
1 couldn't depend on the train crew TO