davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15
BIG WORDS IN HIS SERMON.
Reporter Takes Down she Discourse Of
foloTed Preacher.

toloTed Preacher.
Prom the Chicago Times-Hersld
On one occasion a reporter took ~ fo.-
loving sten0graphic account. The accuracy
OF which j. not questioned. Gest.rr..f'ins
wildly, as described. the preacher 5es4a
on the fayorite theme Of magnhyiEg he
greatness Of Jehovah.
DE LaWd made de heabens and BE-
yeaTf, and de sea. an all dat trl-smof-
gTaphles the atmosphere"
Listen 10 i'm; listen 20 i'm"
But what yo' know about what a.
means? You don't know cause so hahn
been lucined. Use been 'stflgta1 Do cs
mathematics. an I knows"
Yes. go dO-'deed so DO"
"Ef strain o. kysrs could run "a m.l..o1
yeahs. wild steam up dey woul4 rot rea"-
De ciFcumbOundary Hines Of dis ye1'f. al
set de ole moon climbs dem nils even
night. and slides down De Older si-e rs,
as easy az a black snake 'monz DE fes4s
an De moon dosn 'quire no steam
Oats a fac, bFGdGa. daTs a lr.
Dis yeaTf - biggern dat. a.. Olga.
as well tell 20 n so dOan knoN boa ~ .
IS Hlt b twenty -iive million miles r. q
ameter an eight thousand miles across "
beam
Hear dat viii so; hear daI hoae5
Lord bless U.s.
And thus the discourse cOUfifI e fa
after some weeks 81 an Intellectual cfy..
% subsisf by ais deep learning s.t ry
queuce alone the preacher left Toe 15-l
~ and abandoned the hope % bsli.rs y
a new congregation
Another negro preacher on one lr.@.
sion began bis sermon a. follows
"KeTligiOn tlnktutabulatrs an ROO q
Eystematlcai anatomy Oh De human ? II
Then he vent on 20 tell what k,F-
about the Bible mixing the old art -
Testzments ad iibifum and hayiuE 'af.'.
and Moses preaching togethsr ir tI'
streets Of what he called Jerorgsn.Lm.
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15
She Got Revenge.

As soon as the good-looking girl entered
the car the five young men on the oppo-
site seat begsn surveying her with critical
eye, and she hadn't yet made out whether
the bald-headed Nan with the rne-i,ceI
magazine was 10 be included in the lot
when the conductor came in for his fare
The girl opened her poTtmonnaie and be-
gan 10 take out la.ch-keys, samples OF
ribbon and little II emoranda In the usual
way. and the five young men smiled. each
after his own particular style Baid-head-
sd was out Of IL. The girl didn't see any
OF the smiles. but she caught on Just the
same. There was a nickel all ready for
her fingers. but hen one paIe-fscei
yoans man added slggle to has smile the
nickel PAS thrust aside Tor d s. bill. She
didn't hand il over TO the conductor as
she iished IL out. but leaning forward
with a winning smile on her face. she BE-
gan az the head Of the line and asked.
viii you please be so kind as TO change
this bill for me-
II was impossible. A young man with
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15
GAVE DEWEY LOTS or TEA.
Tho Olympia Fairly converted into n
Freighter By Admirers.

From Golfers Weekly
Steaming leisurely from Singapore the
Olympia entered the harbor of Colombo
in the early morning of June %. and took
position alongside II. NJ. 5. Marathon.
AS the flagship came to anchor, she sa-
/ luted the port with twenty-one guns. The
| Flagstaff battery ashore replied The
Marathon ran up the Stars and Stripes
and gave seventeen guns in honor of the
Admiral. while her band played THE
StarSpanSIe5 Banner and the Olympia's
responded with God Save the Queen"
Capt. Wyndham aid-de-camp to the
Lieutenant Governor, and Lieut.. Col.
Savage acting commander of the troops
came aboard to welcome the Admiral in
behalf OF the civil and military authori-
ties. and to invite him to visit Randy
the interior capital, where the Lieutenant
Governor is for the summer. This invita-
ton the Admiral declined. Later, W.
MOrey, the American Consul, called. At
II o'clock Admiral Dewey, accompanied
by Flag Lieut. Brumby, went ashore. On
the jetty a guard of honor of fifty i'm
perial troopers, with a band and pipers,
was drawn up, while a great crowd of
citizens filed the water front. From the
threats of this throng, as the Admiral
stepped ashore. there went up three
cheers of a volume and heartiness that
gave him an inkling of what he might
expect at home. The soldiers presented
arms, the band played. and as the Ad-
miral entered a Queens House carriage
and drove away with Col Savage, the
crowd gave him another lusty round of
cheers. After a brief visit to the resi-
dence of the military commander. Admit
raj Dewey returned to the flagship.
An hour later he received a deputation
from the Planters Association and the
Chamber of Commerce, who presented
him with an address of welcome, a silver
casket filled with the finest CeylOn tea.
and a thousand pounds of that product in
bulk.
The Olympia came near being converted
into a tea ship while here. In addition to
the 1000 pounds presented the Admiral
and his men on their arrival, Sir Thomas
Upton cabled his Colombo agent to pre-
sent every man on the flagship with
five-pound box of tea. which he did, send
ing aboard 4S2 packages, or $40 pounds.
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15
Time to Settle Up.

TT was years ago, in Chicago" said ire
ex-hotel clerk, "and ] was at the desk at
midnight when an cid man who had bSeL
a guest for three or four days came walk
ing down stairs az cool as you please. with
his satchcl In hani. and as he walked UP
to me he took out his wallet and said:
Il think I'll settle up and go. How
much - itF
Il told him, and as he handed over the
money he sad:
think you ought 10 knock OF some
thing for the rest of the night.
But you can go back 10 bed IL you
wish
But ! can't. you see. The whole floor
up there is on fire.
And so il was" continued the clerk,
and the liremen had an hour of the hard
est kind Of WORK tc save the building
Out OF about a hundred guests / believe
that old chap was the only one who
squared his bill"
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15
Valuable English Portraits.

FROM Lon1oI lr4il-
Lord Normandy has offered to sell three
pictures OF great historical interest. which
are In the gallery al Mulgrave Castle, 70
the trustees Of the National Portrait CAL
lery for 5000 guineas. which Is price
below their market value
One Of these pictures Is an excellent por-
trait Of the Queen, by Wiikie. which Il il
desirable 70 secure, irasmuch
as the gallery does not contain good
portrait OF ner maJecty As a matter Of
fact. there are really no pictures OF the
Queen which can be regarded as sstisfao-
tory, for Angels portraits IN the private
apartments az Windsor Castle are BIZ no
means hrst-clsss works The treasury
however. have declined 70
sanction the purchase. and II viii b. in
teresting 70 see hOW much these three
pictures viii fetch II they are SOLD al
ChFistls'g
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15
Pens That Goeih. Wrote with.

Prom tie ChieSgo ChrOnIcIs
The quill pens with which Goethe wrote
his festival poems are now IN Chicago ana
will within a day OF two be on exhibitor
al KOelling & Kiappenbach's book store
100 Randolph street. With these old-fash-
Toned quilts VII b exhibited an autograph
letter from Schiller. the poet
The gull pens are the property OF
Charles Spseth, manager Of the German
Aid Society u Chicago. He received them
from Paul J. &auss. 20 whose .srana-
father. DIR. Robert Friedei. % Jena. they
were bequeathed By Herman Sehuefz who
procured them from Goethe. hls intimate
friend, in December. 1875. So rnuch stress
was laid on their pOssession b. the orig
inal owner, Herman Schueiz. thai Ia m
when Goethe sas visitor az the Schuetz
home ia Berka on the der. his host asket
him 70 certify 10 the fact that the quilis
we're used In writing the festival poems.
The request Was granted, and this crrtla-
c. te, signed ~ Goethe. y n0W ln the pos
seEslon Of 8r. spaeth. the pfeseff owner
OF ths old-fashioned auilis
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15
0PlE READS TOUCH.
How He Made Ten Dollars Searching IN
Unknown Man.

From the New York Telegraph
Near the stenographer's stand n the
Hoffman House n couple of men were
chatting, while beside the typewriter gar
a man fairly effervescing wrath One Of
the onloOkers laughed. 1T reminds TIE,
he said. of the story Opie Reed tells Of
lis SO touch
Read was In Cincinnati and broke He
In vain applied at the various newspaper
Offices for work He tried TO get a i0b
on the mechanical. end Of some paper, 80
hard up was he but in this. too. he faiiad
There was nothing left for him but 70
tramp He started on the ROAD. as mary
better and worse men have done before
him
Tired and dust staired he reached a
suburb Of Cincinnati. As he was passing
a lumber yard he heard a man talking 10
loud and angry voice. stopping he heard
the individual deliver himself mucI as FOL.
lows:
g" Rejected the Who'll,
carload OF lumber because there was one
knot in il! The, / Just wish / coIH
write a letter-One that would scOrCI the
very hair of his head. the -
I can write; that is my business sad
Read. stepping up.
Good said the lumbermln. you 81
right down and write a regular "ssDreh.
err And he explained more fully the
circumstances Of the case.
Read. although he knew nothing o,
the man TO whom he was writing, DIPPED
his pen in salr and wrote.
Then he read the letter. which was en-
deed about as CaustiC a one as could have
been written.
THE lumberrnan was delighted.
That's splendid he exclaimed Hos
much do you WANT
I'll leave that with you said Read
The lumberman handed the author a Zen
dollar bill. and Read was tided over ais
financial difficulties"
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15
DROLLERIES OF SUMMER LIFE.
By NJ. QUAD.

around him. He raised HIS hanS 20 cut
the ordinations short. and knscfEe down
and pattinE the victims bald lead In a
brotherly way. he said:
say. old kicker, you hain't got no case
II IL hadn't been for your wife here you'd
be roofing the bottom Of the sea three
miles out After this. when you want to
DO the dispOrting act. you'd better put on
a night-goBn and jump into A pan Of
water
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15

only a dime In his pocket has no show 20
bust a bill The next one had quarter.
but he had to decline. and 80 IL went TO
No. 5 HIS hand sought his pocket as his
turn came. but il didn't bring up any
change The smiles had been replaced b.
sheepish locks. and they rubbed elbows
and tr0d on each others fest in trying 10
look out Of the windows There was a
long minute Of painful suspense. and then
the good-looking girl handed the bill to
the conductor. She hadn't word 10 say
TO the five young men who had started
out in life so gayly. but old bald-headed
had When ali was over he turned half
around and grOwled out:
IF ! were you fellows | wouldn't try TO
be so blamed smart next timer
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15
Telling a Hogs Weight.

TITS curious how close a butcher can
come 10 a hogs weight by looking at
him" said the man who was splitting all
over the street car.
That's no trick" replied the man on
his right. I'm no butcher, but I'll bet
you a dollar l car guess your weight
within five -~~unds''
MY weight. OH that's a different
thing, you see. I'm no hog"
And he sps> right and left and showed
his legs out anG added that there was
heap of difference between a man and a
hog
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15
ANGEL Visits.

They cone 10 ere 70 visit tkia ar Earth.
The angsis that ne progte-z tols zhoat
Or else ogF EiHs lave nslly ksagsd thssa OFT
and they 10 longer ttFcush saeh slsass q dearth
~In tread Eita En0sy rsiner;i days q zirth,
And pastoral SsyfsrsrE. bsoSE szd sscgt
VITA Rats's is1t ,ootsfs5s snd Elfh DaEsda sAass
ETEitiaK Irsise msst Pare q Fewer birth
long % togck fiiE garnsats hsn a. she
Once did. and on NJ forehead fs.I his hza1
% siss2 ufon ike wsyaiss sfsne aa1 see
The Fisisas lsnsb sac bat ffoz tae Land
Has A0~n tie E.ilk AID honey. gslisss
Retains no more His footprint IL ~. zzAs
AIOAZO I-EOEA RICE.
Rays CgoExing IL
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15

Ffon tie Detroit f9Ernsi
The wolf laughed a cruel laugh
~Oh. res. they keep me from the.r io't
All right" the fearsOme beast an-rre+
but I notice that none Of the nelgHro'i
calls. either"
This fable teaches. or o. least suggests
that some people viii do very r.sssf
things rather than starYc
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15

Atf 70 yoag erakllE sK,sr lszoazAs az sa-kz Re
fr9pA q ASCOsTt ~ BiTTEas. L inpasta q e..
licia1s G2soT zaf grsyeata Mzizftz ans AL s8aa.es
bssesssz Get the Esruine Anrstsrs msaa.zetafsa
0aly - DT. J. q. D. siefert 4 sozE
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15
Brother Gardeners Philosophy.

We all like smart men, but what we OBJ
ject to am a man gittin' so smart dat he
has TO brag around about it.
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15

Nine times out of ten de man who buys
a gold brick am de man who has allus
wanted folks to understand dat he was
nobody's fule.
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15

When you hain't got noffin' but Goldfish
an cold water in de house, it am a good
time to make yo'self believe dat riches
don't make happiness.
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15

We an nebber 10 blame fur our own
mistakes, but de man who tries to git
consolation out of de fact might as well
chaw toothpicks. De hardest work in de
world am TO be honest wild ourselves.
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15

Pears to me dat de man who mortgages
his house in order TO buy pianer fur ais
wife orter TO get heap O. music outer de
transaction, but I've heard dat it wasn't
ailus so.
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15

It's all our own fault dat we hev lost
faith in POLITICIANS. We started out 10
believe EN- imbued wild honesty of pur-
pose, while dey started out to make eb-
cry 5000 Office pay $1,000 var. De
sooner we git frew lookin' fur honest men
in Office de less we shall h ar bout cor
ruptiOn.
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15

| like model man, but it has so hap
pened dat cherry time I've lent money to a
man who doesn't smoke, chew. drink
sw'ar, or bet on hoss-races, l nebber git
It back.
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15

When | go to pussun fur advice and
he agrees wild me, | set him down as
good fCller an a wise man. If he don't
agree wild me | know he hain't got brains
huff to understand de case.
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15

AFFLiCTED-AFTEa ALL OTHERS FAN. cox
suit Prot g. r. THEEL. y. D. se4 Nsrth s,h
81. Philadelphia. Pa. he challenges the world Ia
zafsEk grsTsts stime1,s. hlSe1 BoiEoa. Impotence
last vitality and gstegzlosneli. send for sWs-n
-estlzonlalE AID hoax islsSxWzn
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15

In my time PZe met up wild heaps O.
men who war believers in luck AS nigh
as | kin remember what happened, most
of EN- either got into Jail or de porehouse
A TO weeks job at a dollar a day will
beat vars luck.
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15

Life am made up in SIGH a way dat de
very wisest of US can't help maxim fules
of ourselves once or twice 4 var. When
yo' find pusson who claims he has neb-
Der made no mistakes, don't credit him
wild superiority. He's bin a mistake all
bis life an didn't know il.
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15

l used to think dat argument was a
mighty powerful weapon in de hands of
de average man, but I've lived to Farm dat
de man who can hOller de loudest giner-
ally gifts all de advantage in discussin'
question. If yo' kin holler loud 'nuft yo'
kin make lots of men believe dat it was
Abel who killed Cain.
The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15

Ize got heap O. confidence in human
natur', but when a man comes to me to
pay a debt ten years old, TZe gwine TO
make out dat l nebber knowed him. He'd
pay me back two an wanter borrow s..
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1899-06-11
MANAGEABLE AGES.

In Germany man must be at least IN years
OF age before he can marry.
In Portugal boy Of "a is considered mar
riagable and a woman OF II
In Greece the man must have seen at least
Il summers ami the woman IL,
In France the man must be is and the wo-
man 49, In Belgium the same ages
In Spain the INTENDED husband must have
passed his 18th year and the woman her l2th'
In Switzerland men from the age OF IA and
women from the age of IL are allowed u
marry,
In Austria man" and woman are
supposed 70 be capable of conducting hons
of their own from the age of IA.
In Turkey any youth and maiden who car
walk properly and can understand the neces
sary religious service are allowed to marry.
In Hungary for Roman Catholics the mar
must be "A years old and the woman l2i FOL
Protestsnts the msu must be IS years and tn
woman IS.
In Russia and ssIony they are little NOR
sensible, and a youth must refrain from en-
terlng into matrmony til he can count ]
/ years and the woman till she can count 49,
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1899-06-11
SOME MEXICAN LAWS.
An Iden of Making the Punishment
Fit the Crime.

Topeka man who recently toured Mexico
tells the Kansas City journal that they have
some very curious criminal laws down there.
For example, the statutes make it twice as
much Of an offense to mutilate the face Of a
woman as that Of a man. While in the City
of Mexico he attended court one day and saw
a man sentenced to one year in prison for
cutting his paramour across the face with
knife. If his victim had been man the
sentence would not have been more than four
months at the outside The law seems to lie
based on the idea that womans best pos
session IS her beauty, and that TO mar II
does her a great Injury.
There is another curious law. II person
should be wounded In an encounter the pun
ishment TO the otfonder is hxed bv the num-
Der OF days his victim has TO STAY in the
hospital or under ad oetor's care, line Is
fixed at forty DAYS in the way OF a general
division. II the Injured man oeeupes mofs
than forty days In his recovery the penalty
Z doubles up. AS we understand the Topeka
/ man these are not court customs. but statu-
tory enactments.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1899-06-11

the face bears certain resemblance to por-
traits OF Edgar Allan Poe. The expression Is
soy. absorbed. There Is ~ little trace OF
afectation in the manner as in the writing.
In both one notes that perfect absence OF SELF
consciousness which alone makes such book
az "Margaret ogilvcy' possible 1t is only q
touch OF brusuuerie Ia the address that the
northerner is revealed. As a London literary
lion Mr. Barrie Ia perfect faiiure--he has
failed. or refused. to acquire that wonderful
art OF roaring Just when Il is expected OF him.
lie has a faculty--the despair OF Mrs Leo
Huuter-of going on thinking bis own
thoughts In a room full of people who have
come forth to. see him.
In conclusion, was there ever author more 10
be envied than the author of The window
in ThrumsY" Famous at 80. be has now
while stu comparatively young man, The
sympathy of the whole world behind him
The future smiles on him. He can make "a
laugh without effort, without bitterness III
shows us. too, the tragedy Of life; but not
after the manner OF some writer's of today, y
It's untempered violence For him It is soft
ened by patience, sweetened by affection, re
deemed by an imperishable hope.
Sir George Douglas, Bart
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1899-06-11
rrIeaAMMATIo THOUGHTS,

written for The Post.
Politics would make strange bed-fellows II
politicians ever went to sleep,
Candor 10 sometimes want Of tact.
We can manage any woman until we fall
In love with her.
Men tell lies: women act them
SURPRISING tina truth isn't telling lie.
The best thing about muEwump is that
he is neither n republican nor democrat
Cynicism is ofllmes an honest contempt
for gonsralitics
mans concelt is one way Of establishing
the fact that he is well thought OF in his I'M
mediate nelghborhood
Some women never know how much they
loved the fellow until he becomes smtten with
another girl.
The worm turns from the early bird who
stays out all night.
Sometimes a man has 10 be illted oY MS
ideal before he becomes 1T for the general
run of women who are willing to marry
him.
Marrying a woman because she is ooaut'is'
is like buying a thing for speculation.
| There isn't much difference between fa'
pug dog and the woman. newly married. "nc
lives in a fashionable boarding house
| Party principle Is about the only KIND bo'n'
men have.
Pull is always what the other man has
Merit is ours alone.
some mems inirmitics are inherited from
fathers who lead society before they wer
born.
The cheapest shoe scrssches the loudeSt
An ancestral tree sometimes falls 10 bea
,ood fruit. HG.L.Jr.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1899-06-11
FINE PARIS HOTEL.

rha rnapnt6ceut hotel on the Champs Ely
zoo. which has been in process OF constru'-
lion for the last two or three years Is 10"
cornlote and will be open TO the PUBIC III d
few, davs. 1t is. with the possible exception
~ tho Riviera palace at Monte Carlo the most
,rxurious hotel that has yet been built IN
Eurone and the whole design has been so
% oil thought out and so artsucally executed
,bat I, ,s not easy to lay ones hand upon
weak point. The hotel is nearly at the TOP Of
tbo avenue. upon the left hand side, occupying
tbe site of the two private hotels when DC
Ionged TO the brothers-in-law, the late Oas'''''
Porter and the Due dAudriffet Pasquier, so
that the position is superb, for there Is ANU
dance of air and light everywhere ana 10
those who object that for MOTEL II Is W.
far from the center of Paris. the obvious ah-
swer is that Parts. like all other cities 10
| spreading westward,
| The style of architecture Is modern rlenN"'
and the exterior sculpture Is, each piece OF H.
the work OF some noted artist; while the enoo'
! produced on the adjacent houses by TINS nuse
building is not in the least crushing, as hdu
been feared. The hotel has frontage OIL doou'
$50 feet on the Champs Elysees. and 1t may
be noted that all the public rooms face the
avenue, so that the view from them VIII never
lack animation. These rooms are most beau
TRULY decorated aud furnished and while II
one Of the two large restaurants are 10 d
seen pieces Of old Gobelin tapestry. the princi
pal salon. or drawing room, can not fan TO at
tract attention with its finely painted ceiling
silken draperies and Louis XVI furniture J
would however, occupy too much space to 81
tempt anything like description Of this mag
nlhcent suite of rooms of the central haI
with its domed roof and beautifully modeie
statues, and OF the winter garden
There is. moreover, with all its luxury a
air of solid comfort about the hotel. There
a private entrance for royal and other dstin
eushed visitors, as well as for those VII
: may use the private dining rooms for weddin
| or other festivities; the state suite comprise
an ante-room in pure Louis XVI style, draw
ing room with paneled walls and ceiling,
dining room in the style of the Georgian p
Rod. with several bedrooms and bathroom
Some OF the smaller suites notably one in Il
J, Adam style, are equally elegant