The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1899-10-14
Pleasantries.

Trip: "The bicycle school started
with a good attendance" TOpp: "Bu
/ suppose the attendance fell OH.
Customer I'm = restauran): "Ses her,
waiter. I've found a.buttOn IN this sal
adT' Waiter: ''That's all right, sir: III
apart Of the dresSing."-LVe.
Gracious, Jacki What immense
shirt studs you wear!" "Well, YOU
know how buttonholes act. I'm going
to keep up with them, Ii il takes q din
ner plate"
Ethel(studying GRAMMAR: 'Say, Reg.
gle, If a man druggist is called pharm.
acist, what would you call = woman
druggist 7" Reggie. "A pharmacister,
Of course.
Speaking from experience. Master:
"Tombs, this is an example in subtrac-
tion. Seven boys went down to pond
to battle, but two of them had been told
not to 90 Ia the watsr. Now can you
tell me how many went imp" Tombs:
Eyes, sir: seven. It'd Bits.
The teacher Of Sunday-schoOl class
approached one little fellow who was
present for the first time, and inquired
his name for the purpose OF placing it
on the roll. "Well," said the youngster
they call me Jimmy, for short; but my
maiden names James. Beacon.
Teacher at homas, will you tell me
what a conjunction is and compose a
sentence containing q conjunction P'
Thomas latter long and solemn refiec-
tlon; A conjunction is a word connect.
lug anything, such as The horse is
hitchtd to the fence BY his halter. Hal
ief 10 a conjunction, because It con-
meets the horse and the fOnce.-Harp-
es's Bazaar
An old farmer, who had been in Lon
don, was describing to his friends the
splendor Of the hotel he STAYED at
Everything was perfect, i" said he with
the exception Of one thing. They kept
the light burning all night 10 my bed.
room, "a thing / amt used to. even"
said one Of them @Why didn't you blow |
It out?" BLOW 1t outl" said the farm.
OF. Glow could ~ The blessed thing
was inside = bottis!"
Pat came to she dentists with his
Jaw very netsWGnsn lrOm a tooth Ia
desired to Aage pulled. But when he
got into the dentists chair, and saw the
cleaning pair OF foTeSps approach
ng his taos, he positively refused
% open his mouth. The dentist uuiet.
, told his page boy to prick his patient
With pin; and, when Pat opened his
mouth to yell, the dentist seized the
Doth and ont IL came. at didn't hurt
8 much as you expected it would. did
the dentist asked, smiling. "Well
10 replied Pat, hOSItatingly. "But" he
dded, placing his hand on the spot
There the boy pricked him with the
In, "begOrra, little did think the
Oets would reach down like that. ~
1eFtA'5sStsTT ASVaeate.
An exchange gives this story osa
ompous member Of Parliament who
ttended an agricultural show In Dub.
n. He arrived late, and found himself :
the Outskirts Of huge crowd. Be
e anxious 70 obtain q good view. for
imsslf aud lady friend who accom-.
lnisd him, and prSsuming that be Was /,
ell known TO the spectators, be tSbped
burly coal porter on tie ShoaldsF saod
'emptoriIy demanded, Mako way 1,
Ierel" "Who are ys ppshin'P" was 9 :;
70 unexpected Response. ~Do you
low who am sir cried the indiF-
int N. r. 81 am aFepressntiVe fthe z
'opie." "Yahl" groRled the porter, as 6'
stood unmoved. sIlnt 8s'er tha
oomin' people themselves"
q. prieass Cream, sRat,f,v Ea.-,so.