Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-08-26


high, wide dark beers and cheese sand
w!ch so bad that l ached all over. and
had figured on getting them while my party
was at their lunch. but the boss woman of
the outfit waved TO separate table
In the temperance restaurant, and there l
was. Oh. well, look at how much worse
1t might ha' been-I might have .been in
5ail, you see,
Just row the season for guides is pretty
dull. but the bridal coupes'il be coming
along in hocks next month. More of emil
be happening in for the Dewey celebration
FL bet there hundreds of Young cou-
pies all over the country who've fixed the
day that they'll be able To make n
break for the New York or the Wa shingtcn
Dewey blowout right after the ceremony.
The newly-spliced young folks are easy
enough to take around. They never see
much: and they don't ask guide any
questions to speak Of They're looking
into each others eyes pretty much all the
time. y'see-when they think robody's
sDoitin em-.and all that they really
oil we sights to take cognizanee Of You
could put in corner of your eye. They'll
stand before an exhibit case at the Ma
tional Museum while the guides telling
EN- all about the things inside the case
and Ii $ ten to one that they don't hear
a word he's saying. Just in a little old
nine-trance of their own. you understand
had young man and his wife out a
couple o weeks ago They were deeply
= interested in everything they saw, asked
all sorts Of questions and wanted to know
all about the whole works. l asked em,
taSuaI IKE, II TINS was the first time they'd
been around Washington.
Oh no. said the man. winking sheep
fshly at his wife, we the whole out
mt four years ago: but that was on our
honeymoon trip, and when we got back
home neither of us remembered a bloom
ing thing that we'd seen in Washington
When They Know Too Much.
1--WE go out with some pretty disagree
able people once In a while-foreigners who
knock everything they're shown. espe-
cially-folks who are probably bum deuces
IN greasy decks in their own countries but
who when they get over here, plough
around doing q hammersmith and anvil
chorus stunt over everything they see. 1
mad particularly knocky' pair like that
couple of winters ago-an Englishman
and his wife. You don't want to get the inn
preston that there are not slews and sa:h-
ers OF nice. h1gh-bred. civil English people
the real thing, in short-visiting Washing
ton at all seasons of the year. for there
are, and | don't know of any folks I'd
Father take around than the genuine ar
tlcle in the way of Eng ish men and women.
Hut these two We're cockneys. you under
stand. who dropped their matches and re-
minded me of a sort of middle-aged AIRY
and Arriet. There just wasn't anything in
this burg that suited them. Whew! how
they did hammer the whole thing from the
minute they started QUIT In a mean, nasty
way too, you understand. and looking up
at me sneakily after their shots to see if
| was hit. Wei. l hit, and hit hard.
L m not dead swell top-notcher or any
thing like that, but I'm an American citi-
zen, my boy, and / was ugly from the time
these two cheap cockney people began 10
heave their brickbats They meant the mis-
SileS for me and l took EN-. but l held in
as long as l could. Finally though, lined
EN- both up in front of that case in the
National Museum that holds one of George
Washngtons old uniform coats. l just
wanted to hear what they were going to
say. and l knew 1t was going to happen.
w hats this. MANI the cpCkney
asked me.
That said I. is a coat worn by
George Washington, father of his country,
first in peace. first in war and first in the
hearts of his countrymen, during the revo-
lutionary war
'Ho-hor giggled the cockney. Seems to
me Hive card somew ere or hother O. that
chap
Oh yes, I guess you have says l.
and I give it to you square that felt more
like knocking his blGk off than talking
for if ever there was a warm baby who
knew how to paste it to England going or
coming, both ends from the middle, catch
as-catch can, go-as-you- please or Marquis
OF Queensbury-if ever there was just built
a hot proposition who understood the game
of slithering, keel-hauling ham-stringing
and man-handling British redcoats to a
proper finish-why. that same chile con
carne boy was the General G. Washington
whose gold-laced coat you before you!
How's that?
Did Not Part Friends.
WAS he taken aback and mad? Well.
I thought he was going to have apoplexy.
He started in with game of bluff, but he
didn't make it stick. and l told him to
pass me what was coming to me- and to do
1t in hurry. He said he wouldn't pay
me a cent for my 'bloomink impudence,'
but when l told him that I'd first punch
his head and then have him pinched in the
bargain for swindling a public guide, he
coughed up and | quit him.
I'D rather take people that don't know
it all around, anyhow, than smart folks.
I never enjoy showing Washington to a
New York man-for once in a great while
New York man does get a bit farther
away from his counterfeit town than
Coney Island. The New York ducks call
everything in Washington 'dinky' and
slow and they're pretty nearly as had
as knockers as some of the foreigners
Maybe this Is accounted for by the fact
that New York, while its in the United
States. hasn't been an American town for
whole long while. Well. to go back,
were all more or less accustomed in the
cities to calling country people 'Rubes'
and jays but since I've been a Washing
ton guide I've found out that these same
'Rubes' and jays give plenty of four
flushing city people cards and spades and
big casino when it comes to the possess
sion of wide information, courteousness
and interest in things that worth the
interest of American folks, and the coun-
try visitors to Washington are the kind
of folks l prefer to take around to all
others. They've got the wholesome view"