davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05
The English Language.

A farmer was trying to plough
with a jackass hitched up to a cough,
When they kicked up terrible rough.
Said the farmer. IT'S hard, / allough
1 could do near as well with a sough;
l will rest meath the shade of this bUugh.
"Such driving for me Is too rough,
I've had of it nearly enough,
I'll give this old iackass a cough
And quit, for I'm quite I'm n hough.
All farming is nonsense and slough
And ploughing is almighty tough,
"With farming I'm glad to be through =
My wife, she Is tired of it, tough.
We're wet with the rain and the dough,
And plOughing has made me quite blough.
"I'll sell out and pocket the dough,
TO the city tn glad enough cough.
I'll through down the sOvel and dough:
I'll through down the showed and hough
In Wall street my money I'll blough.
"My wife has contracted a cough,
ris time for us both to he ought"
New York Sun.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05
News"

fair sample Of the political news"
inflicted upon the public these mid
summer days By the insurgent organs
is embodied in the following extract
from the Atlantic City corraspondeuce
of the Philadelphia Press, published
yesterday in a most conspicuous place
in that newspaper:
j. Hay Brown the eminent Lancaster
lawyer is to bo named as the Republican
candidate for justice of the Supreme
court. Ex-senator quay So Informed
Oile Of his close personal friends here this
evening. lie broke the news to Con-
gresham Conncll, Of Scranton. in Phila~
deplha this afternoon, when the LaCka-
wanna Republican leader called upon him
and made fnal plea for Judge Archibald,
whose candidacy was favored not only
by Mr.. Connell. but by Attorney General
Elkin. Insurance Commissioner Durham,
Senator Penrose and other Quay hench-
nen. Mr. Quay broke the news ~ At
lorney General JGlkin here tonight, and II
s his present purpose TO communicate
bis determination to name MIR. Brown
10 pll his henchmep who may gather
about him here during the next few days.
The facts are that Congressman
connell did not see Senator Quay or
any one representing him. that "or-
hers', have not gone forth for the NOM
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05
A Weak Point in the Law.

The investigation made by the cor
oner in the case of Mrs. Lena G. Geble,
the midwife, discloses a weak place in
the Pennsylvania statutes. 1t is well
that this matter of the promiscuous
practice of midwifery has been called
prominently to the attention of the
public i'm order that the force of pub
lie opinion may be lent to the efforts
of the reputable physicians OF our city
to weed out the ignoramuses who prey
upon the community on the strength
simply of ostensible diplomas from
distant institutions of professional in
structinn. While in some instances
these diplomas may have merit. they
are in themselves far too risky an in
dorsement to he treated in SO delicate
branch of medical .racticc as OBJ
stetrics. There should be not only
compulsory certiiiCation but also some
form uf an expert examination calcu-
lated 10 bring out whether the appli-
cant to practice midwifery has the
necessary knowledge and qualification.
People who employ charlatans cannot
be trusted to protect themselves. They
must be protected and the quickest
way to do this is to draw the line of
the law tight ana sharp arOunG every
avenue Of danger.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05
HUMoR IN RHYME.
After the Game.

He wore coat of scarlet and a little
grayish hat,
He had his airy trousers rolled up
nearly to his knees;
His face and arms were FURNISHED in the
sort of manner that
Distinguishes the royal games unfail-
ing devotees!
Oh, he played with all the vigor that he
had at his commando
His eye was simply beautiful, or so
heard him say;
His driving and his putting were immeas-
urably grand
But twenty times he said: "You know,
I'm not in form today"
And after II was over, when the man
whom he had downed
"Three up and two to play" had stolen
sadly from the scene,
lie called a little crowd of his admirers
around,
And they stood and talked about it on
the final putting green.
He told them how he'd "lofted from be-
hind a bunker there"
How splendidly he drove at No. and
No. 4;
He rehearsed to them exactly his per-
formance everywhere.
And he trembled with excitement as he
analyzed the score.
His "ifs" were as the fishes that are
swimming in the sea,
But for them he would have beaten all
the records ever made;
II the wind had not opposed him he'd
have got the fifth in three"
He'd have made the eighth in four,
If 1t had not been for the shade"
"If that stimie had not happened" he'd
have saved a stroke at six;
His foot slipped just a little when he
drove for No. Z;
A divot turned the ball ut u and put him
in n fix,
And the putting green was just a bit
uneven at eleven.
/ left him as the sun was slipping down
behind the hill,
When the fragrant breath of evening
lightly swept his FURNISHED cheeks;
He was going over ifs" and nights"
and speculatinE still
On the way he had been hurt by faulty
bulgers, spoons and clecks!
Oh, the royal game of golf is all the
adjective implies:
There is ecstasy in putting, and to drive
is princely fun,
But the greatest thing about it is in
looking very wise.
And gravely thcorizing when the game
itself is done.
S. +. Kiser, in Times Herald.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05
Commonsense Principles.

Those who are meditating an anpli-
cation Of the boycott TO the strike sit
uation in the building trades in this
city would do well, before going ahead,
to stoo, look and listen.
Certain principles governing business
relations are immutable one of these
is the right Of the merchant to buy Of
whom he pleases and to sell to whom
he pleases on what terms he pleases.
The purchasers right 20 buy when and
where he pleases is equally incontest-
able
Argument may be used to induce
people to buy in such a way as to help
ur hinder a certain cause, and If 1t be
simply an interchange of opinion and
beliefs, between man and man, and not
conspiracy to injure somebody's bus
mess. it is legal The right of each
person TO exercise his own judgment In
the making of purchases is, however,
founded on a fundamental principle in
American liberty and no attempt to
abridge il can stand before the law.
You can lead horse to water but
you cannot make him drink. The
American people respond readily to
plausible argument and persuasion but
when any man or set of men under
takes to dictate to them concerning
matters within the limits of their con-
stitutional liberty, then look out for
trouble.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05
Justified by Results.

What the appointment of Rev. Dr.
George T.. Reed to the position of state
librarian has already accomplished in
the way of an improved service in the
state library may bn left to an "insur-
gent" organ to tell. The Philadelphia
Press was ore of the papers which eX-
pressed displeasure at the dismissal of
DR.. Egle. bUt a dispatch to it from
Harrisbm says:
"On Tuesday, August /. the state
library, which has been closed for a
month in order to facilitate the work
of cataloguing the miscellaneous books
on the card catalogue system, was re-
opened for public use, the work having
been substantially completed Pre-
Iiminary to the work of cataloguinG,
the library was thoroughly reclassihcd,
according to modern library methods,
the work involving the shifting of
every book i'm the library, many of
these several times. 1t is now deemed
advisable to include the law section
also in the card catalogue. Work on
this department has been inaugurated,
and will be completed by Sept. l. In
tho prosecution of the work fifty-four
persons, Of both sexes. i'm addition to
the regular library staff, have been
employed, most of whom We're care
fully trained under experts for the
technical work that they We're under
taking The advantage of a card cata-
logue over printed catalogue of any
kind is that while the printed book
becomes increasingly obsolete as new
works are added to the library the card
catalogue cannot be otherwise than al
ways up to date and available for use
Among other improvements which
may be mentioned is the painting of
the interior brick walls, both in the
main building and in the stack room,
which relieves the gloomy effect pro-
duced by the hitherto dscOlored and
unpalnted walls. Another improve
ment has been the construction of a
passage way from the rotunda of the
executive building to the state library
through the stack room, so shat in fu-
ture the public can gain access to the
library from the executive building as
we'll as through the main entrance on
Fourth street. The passage way is
separated from the books in the stack
room by steel grill work. New tables
have also been added and provision
made to offer every facility possible to
persons desiring the use of the Ii
brary"
AS we knew would be the case, Dr.
Reeds appointment has in less than a
year been amply justified by results.
The news that Secretary Roots
troubles have begun in the War de-
2artment has not gained wide circula-
tion save in the journals of discomfort
whose editors arc looking for grief.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05

ination of Mr.. Brown. who so far as
we know is not a candidate for the
place: and that II confidence may be
placed upon the representative express
sions Of public and party opinion from
prominent Republicans throughout the
state. the candidacy OF Hon. r.. w.
Archibald is in excellent shape to make
a successful issue at the forthcoming
state convention. with these correc-
tlons ;ns press article is substantially
tpne.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05
Must Be a Mistake.

The assertion is made that General
Alger, when secretary of war, author
lied Generals Brooke and Ludlow and
two other officers in Havana to draw
pay from the Cuban revenues in ad-
dtiOn to their regular pay as officers
in the United States army; but made
no such provision for the other mill
tary governors, such as Lee, Wilson,
Bates. Wood and Carpenter. 1t is
said that Brooke was allowed $500
a year which with his regular salary
made $4,000, the reason being that
this sum was necessary to enable him
to maintain in proper style the official
and social prestige of his office. Ad-
jutant General Corbin is quoted as
authority for these statements.
That the governor general should re-
ceive more than his regular salary of
$500 a year as major general in the
army is plain. He should not be COM
PEELED to go into his own pocket to
meet necessary expenditures connect
ed with his administrative office. If
Brooke had been allowed 5000 a year
the American people would not object
provided he did his work we'll We
cannot afford in these matters to be
stingy or parsimonious. The right man
in Brooke's place would be worth $50,
900 year TO Cuba and twice that to
the United States.
But if discrimination has been prac-
ticed against the other military gen.
erals it should be stopped. 1t is just
as necessary to have a well-paiG ad-
ministrative service in Matanzas, San
Ia Clara, Santiago and the other pro-
vinces as in Havana. We can hardly
believe of General Alger that he would
be a conscious party to the discrimn-
alton charged above. There must be
some misunderstanding or mistake.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05

There is a volume Of condensed sig
nifcance in Governor Roosevelt's re-
mark that "the whole history of the
world shows that the wrong done by
the mere sentimentalist is often of
larger proportions and more elastic
than any other kind of wrong"
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05
RIPANS TABULES.

There is no other remedy for dyspepsia
and constipation so absolutely perfect
and certain in it5 action.
They arc more than a mere relief.
They mpart new organic strength and
tone TO the stomach and the entire dir
gcaive tract SO that digestion becomes
a natural and easy process. They are
the prescription Of a regular physician
and are recommended by the most skin
full doctors in the world, as perfectly
mild and harmkss, yet absolutely GER
tain in their effect. They are specially
valuable as a regulator and preventive
for people Of sCdcntary occupations.
particularly women.
The great danGer Of dyEcpsiN and constipation
Is that thcy Netk on ald pOlon the OntiTe system
that It y Md open 70 scriois uftsn fatal dseRseS-
Ripans fAhules ifHuTe constant supply ~ Iure
blood and Avigoroua constitution 20 resist danger.
Gus illness II you arr dragging load u a. (est-
i've trooblea, HIPARs STAkULEA WILL
got THE TRACES.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05

The Hallstead Herald celebrates it's
second anniversary under present
management this week in an appar-
emily prosperous condition. The Her
aid is a lively inland weekly and de-
serving of success.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05

The leading Democrats of the coun-
try at the present time are wasting
the midnight oil in deep thinking
parts, trying to devise some plan
whereby they may embarass the ad-
ministration and kill Organism at the
same time.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05

From present prospects the man
with the hoe in this section of the
state will receive unusually large re-
turns from his efforts this season.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05

With the arrival of genuine dog days
the hydrophobia scare seems to have
entirely subsidized.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05

The promoter Of the plow trust, who
hopes to have the combination ar
ranged by October I. explains that he
is laboring solely for the purpose of
cheapening the price of plows. We
would not, however, advise farmers on
that account to wait until the trust is
formed before purchasing.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05
a LOAD OF pEMONS.

The miseries of dyspepsia and bill.
iousness are like q load of demons.
Each misery has a different name, but
they all belong to one hendish family.
And they all travel together. No use
trying to get rid of any one of them
by itself; you can't shake oil a single
passenger. The only way IS to cut the
traces and quit the whole load at once.
Headache, nervousness, eeRstipation,
mental depression. dizziness, dullness,
lass;tude, catarrh, skin eruptions, liver
complaint and a hundred other COM
plants are all caused eittIr by a disor-
dcred stomach or sluggish liver or bowels.
Put these three great liie-suPporting
functions in regular coadirn and al
the horrible symp&ops will disappear
together. That Is what Npans Tabules
do. That is why they completely cure
every form and symptom Of bilioskness
and indigestion.
They cure the seV=rest lopC-standiug
cases which have b--n pronounced in
durable" They cure after everything
else has failed, They cure so that you
STAY cured. The most skePtical people,
whose suferingS had caused them TO
lose all faith in medicine have heen
cured and convinced hy
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05
The Passing of the Pickaninny.

Unto a little Niger
A swimming in the Nile,
Appeared quite Unexpectedly
A hungry crocodile,
Who, with that fierce politeness
That makes the warm blood freeze,
Remarked, "Ill take little dark meat
Without dressing, if you please"
Ohio State Journal.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05

Canada, Of course, will be satisfied
with any Alaskan boundary lire that
will give the Dominion the gold and
the United states the snow drifts.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05
COlOred
Shirt
Waists

The final reduction Of
the season takes effect
this morning, and Shirt
Waist prices TODAY arc
i'm most instances only
half what they were less
than a month ago. Our
object being to make q
complete and speedy
clearance.
The sizes are still we'll
assorted, and you can un.
doubtedly find among this
line just what you want.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05

Says Moorfleld Storey, the Boston
anti-imperialist: Every tyrant, every
inquistor, every prosecutor has plead
ed a divine commission" And likewise
every Copperhead and traitor.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05

The news that Secretary Roots
troubles have begun in the War de-
oartment has not gained wide circula-
tion save in the journals of discomfort
whose editors arc looking for grief.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05

SCRANTON, AUGUST 5, 1899,
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-08-05

Published Daily, Except Sunday. b. The
Trlbune Publishing Company. at Fitty
Cents a Month
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-06-23
Poor BiifOrd!

when Bilford went west, he told
me that as soon as he had settled down
and pulled himself together he would
write to me, but l have never heard
from him.
"Bilford was blown up in an ex-
plosion of dynamite three months ago.
He may have settled down, but l don't
believe he has pulled himself together
yet. Chicago Tribune
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-06-23
A SHATTERED IDOL.
The Music Teacher Had Been Under
Misrepresentation.

The Music Teacher Had Been Under
Misapprehe nsioD.
The friend found the pretty girl, who
earns living teaching music, staring
4ankly at the wall.
what on earth is the matter?' de-
manded the friend. You look as if you
were in trance
did you see him?' asked the pretty
music teacher family.
"See whom?'
''That horrid man who just went
outw And the pretty music teacher
shuddered.
eff that man insulted you. why didn't
you call the policeT demanded the
friend.
81 am afraid that the police wouldn't
have anything to do with 1t. l have
been giving his daughter lessons on the
piano lately, and l instructed her to
practice very softly. as l know how
annoying it is to the neighbors when
one is learning TO play. And Just now
that great, big brute of a man came
charging in here and reared that the
only reason that lie allowed his daugi-
ter to take music lessons was to get
even with man living next door who
played the flute, and if I couldn't in
struct his daughter TO put enough mu-
sic into her playing so it could be
heard through a six inch wall he would
get some one who could.
"And to think that l have always
considered music divine art to which
I'had consecrated my lifer'
And the pretty music teacher broke
down and cried.-Detroit Free Press.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-06-23
LOCAL MARKETS.
WHEAT ~ CENTS.
Retail Prices.

June %, p.m.-Butter, creamery
25c, country Is 20 1Sc, cooking 12lec
lard 10c eggs iSc; chickens, l5c per
lb. dressed
Corn, ear 2Sc to 25c per bushel,
shened 45c: oats 33c to SIC; hay 55c
to 65c hundred; straw SOC to 40c a
hundred.
Potatoes SOC per bushel.
Lettuce to 10c per pound. Head
lettuce 12c.
New onions, three punches for &c.
Radishes, two punches for sc,
Strawberries, to 15c qt.
Cucumbers, 3 to &c piece.
Spinach 25c peck.
Pie Plant, 3 punches for l0c.
Wax Beans zoe measure.
Tomatoes, 1Sc per 10.
New beets, DC, for 25c.
Summer squash, 10c to l5c piece.
New potatoes, 35c peck.
Peas, SC a measure.
Raspberries, 121ac qt. to 20.
Gooseberries, s to 10c qt.
Home grown cabbage, 10c head.
Pineapples, $1.50 to $500 dozen ;
extra large, 75c a piece.
Wholesale Prices.
Wheat Tic; oats 30c to S3c; corn,
ear, 20c; corn, shelled, 40c; hay, $40.
to $11; rye, 58c.
Butter, creamery, 19c; country II to
lac; lard, 6 to &c; eggs, 13 to lac
chickens, live Sc, dressed 12c.
Navy beans, $1.34, $1.40; marrowfat
beans $1.50, $1.65.
Potatoes, % to 30c a bushel.
Cured. hides, No. l, 80 No. 2, &c,
green, No. l, 71ac, No. 2 61ac, cured
calf skins, No. 1, 10Mc, No. 2, 91ac;
green, No. /, &c; No. 2, Sc; tallow
No. L, &c; sheep pelts, lamb skins
90c.
Pork, dressed, AZ to &c, live $3.50 to
1915; beef, dressed, &c to SIC, live
&c to SC; mutton, live. 41ac to &c
dressed, Sc to 101sc; lamb, dressed
lie live, 5 to 51a; spring lamb, IA to l5c
pork, loins, SC; veal, live SIC to
dressed, 916c.
Sugar-cured ham, Sc to 94c
shoulder, 5Mc; California ham
&c to 61ac; bacon, 7c to SIC; driec
beef, lie to 1516c; lard, simon pure
SIC in tub; &c in tierces; country
kettle SIC; pure lard, SIC.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-06-23
EVIL Effects.

Practical jokes amt right. Sandy.
Der's me old pard, Dusty, .dat died
from de effects of one"
How'd 1t happen?"
"Well, you see, Dusty goes up TO one
Of desc wayside cottages an asks de
lady fer pie. De lady says, I amt
got pie in de house, me good man:
but here's cake"
"What species of a cake wuz 1t. Bill
lyF'
Twas-'twas cake OF soap, San
dy."-Chicago News.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-06-23
THE WOES OF LOVERS
BEATRICE FAIRFAX KEEPS RIGHT ON
aLLEVlATING THEM.

And With JnctuouH Words of Wis
DOM Tries 20 Scotbc the Troubled
Spirits Of Unhappy Human Targets
For Little Cupid-s shaft.
Here are q few samples of letters
CLEANED from the hundreds which that
love doctor. Miss Beatrice Fairfax, re-
ceiyes in her professional capacity on
the New York Journal:
Miss Beatrice Fairfax-I a young man keep
ing company with girl, and ! call 10 see her.
She calls my house. She is my sisters friend,
and | know that she cares for me. But her par
ents don't like my trade, 30 she told me. have
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-06-23
In 2OOO,

Son (readirg ancient literature)-
Papa, what does this expression,
Money makes the mare CO." mean?
Father-1n alcient times money"
was powerful drug which, when ap-
piled to an individual, greatly stimulat-
ed him while it soothed his conscience.
1t frequently caused him to draw 9TH
ers out of difficulties. The "mare,"
understand. was a primitive form of
the autocarriage of today, which was
used in the drawing process. The en-
tire expression now would be some
thing like this: "A powerful stimulant
presses the autolever and turns ON the
current. ."-Cleveland Leader
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-06-23
Diplomacy.

'I think" said the thoughtful moth
er, that you ought to object to young
Brown paying so much attention to
our daughter"
"WhyY' demanded the thoughtless
father. HE impresses me very favor
ably"
That's just it." returned the
thoughtful mother. "We must do
something to make his ambitious
mother think we regard ourselves a
little above them socially If we are
to make sure of him."-Chicago Post
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-06-23
The Doctors Mark.

81 can't make out the last part Of this
said the new drug clerk
with a puzzled expression.
Never mind that" replied the pro-
prietor. That's only private mark
of the doctors to indicate the financial
standing Of the patient, so that l can
know how much to charge him for the
medicine. New York Journal
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-06-23

BOOTS AND SHOES
Chas. A. Holloway, l43 South
Howard st.
D. w. Holloway, 626 South Main
ST., Clarendon Hotel block.
BAKERS
South Main st. Bakery, 800 South
Main ST., fresh bread. buns, pies
and cakes constantly on hand
CLOTHING
The Akron Clothing Co., l2S S.
Howard ST.. one door south of
Dodge's Furniture Store.
COAL D EALER
Sam Fry, 70l South Beoadwa "
Telephone 172.
DRUGGISTS
S. f. Allen & Co., I95 S. Howard
street.
Black, The Druggist, southwest
corner Main and Exchange st.
DINING HALL
The South Main st. Dining Hall.
500 South Main st.
FIVE CENT AND TEN CENT STORES
NJ. Friedman, Isl North Howard
st. and l47 South Howard ST.
Viering Bros, SOP South Main st.
HARDWARE
Rohrbacher & Allen, 10 South
Howard st.
=. F. Gulliford d Co., cor. Bow
cry and Bartges.