davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1899-07-15

NO woman need come 70 MS emporium
with such sentiments disturbing her
serenity Hence these h0stesSes.
They have a little Office on the sec
ond floor at one corner OF the rotunda.
Facing the open centre OF the building
is an array OF cords stretched from the
railing up to the next floor. 1t looks
as IL somebody intended to raise sweet
peas or vines The only blossoms
which ever come on this treliis, how
ever, are i've bright little satin ban
ners. one for each of the hosteSses. One
is of blue and white. one of scarlet and
white, and so on. If a hostess is not
in the office when called for her ban
ner is run up. and that is signal TO
her that she is wanted. She Is sup
posed to keep an eye on the trellis
while she is away from the office and
respond to her banner signal as soon
as possible.
The role of these hostesses is that
of a guide and adviser. A woman
| comes in with list OF purchases she
wishes 10 make. She doesn't know the
store, and moreover she isn't very sure
| that she knows just what she wants.
| She takes a hostess to be her guide,
philosopher. or at any rate, counsellor
and friend. Her new ally knows all the
ins and outs of the store, and can lead
the way without loss OF time from one
department to another, securing imme-
,liate attention to each. She is also
thoroughly informed as to the latest
fashions. the best and most popular
materials, cOlors and designs. She gives
her advice as to what will be the moSi
becoming thing to get, how much ma
terial to buy, what trimmings to Sc
llect. every one Of the problems in fact
which torture the solitary shopper
with dreadful doubts.
Each of the FIVE hOsteSseS has he
own clientele of customers, who al
ways depend on her to shop with them
One is n Southern woman, who makes
the customers from the South her Owl
particular charge. They find in he
n real hostess. who takes away from
; the strangeness and loneliness of be
ing in a great city wholly different II
atmosphere from what they hav
grown accustomed to. Another Of tn
} Ihostesses is a Catholic, and takes car
I of all customers from the converts an
lother essentially Catholic institution:
; This privilege CT having shOppin
made easy is not alone for out-Of-tow
| customers. Many city women ava
I themselves OF IL. There is no charg
e to the customers at all. The guides ar
Ireally hostesses, delegated by the pr
: lprietor to extend the courtesies Of th
$ house, just as they say.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1899-07-15
NRw YoRK CRY.
DAILY SERVICE, YORK RIVER
LINE.

Daily service Wis York River Line
will be resumed. beginning May 10Th
on following schedule: Leave Rich
mond via Southern Railway 4 80 P. M.
West Point. 500 P. M, arrive Balti-
more $3.50 following morning. Return
ing leave Baltimore 500 p. NJ, West
Point 500 A.. NJ arrive Richmond e:20
A. M. Close concessions are made At
Baltimore with Baltimore and Ohio
sEd Pennsylvania railroads to and from
Philadelphia, New York, Atlantis City
and all points East. Steamers leave
West Point and Baltimore daily, K
ceps Sundays.
Fare between Richmond and Balti-
more, frst-clAss. one way, 81 so, round
trip, good for cen days 81 90. Round
trip tick cts, Philadelphia, $0.o 90, to New
York, $500, good for thirteen days.
q. w. WESTBURY,
Travelling Passenger Agent
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1899-07-15
RICHMOND FREDERICKSBURG &
POTOMAC RAILROAD.
SCHEDULE IN EFFECT May sI, 1889.


LEAVE BYRD-sTREET STATION.
sssA.M. Daily, for Washington and Points
North. stops only at Milford
and Fredericksburg. Pullman
sleeDers soNew York.
points Nor tn. stops At Elba
Glen Allen, Ashland. Taylors-
Penola, Milford, Woo dsiane,
Guinea Summit, Fredericksburg,
Brooke, and Whitewater. Pull
sxsAM., Daily except Sunday, for wash
ington' and points North. stops
atElba, Glen Allen, Ashland,
TaylorsvtIle. boswell, Ruther
Glen, Pen ola, Milford, Woods
lane, 9uf33a, Summit, Freder-
ieksburg' Brooke, Widewatess
n 90 N. Daily. except sunday, for Wash
inxton and poin IS north Stops
ct Elba, Glen Allen, Ashland,
boswell. Milford Fredericks-
burg, with Congressional Linn
tied at Washington.
F.1O n m Daily for Washington and points
North. stops AZ Elba, ashland,
boswell, M1lford, Fredericks-
burg Brooke, and Whitewater.
Stops at other stations Sundays
sleeper. Richmond 70 New YORK
ARRIVE BYED-sTREET STATION.
see A. NJ, Daily. stops ~ Whitewater
Brooke. Fredericksburg: Milford
boswell Ashland Elba and other
stations sun days Sleeper, Rev
York TO Richmond
81 II. H.. Daily. except sunday STOPS ~
Fredericksburg Milford, boswell
Ashland. and Elba. Parlor Cal
from Washington.
T:lO p. NJ, Daily. Stops only at Frederioks
burg, boswell, Ashland and Eba
Pullman-Cars from New Yorh
40 P. II. Daily. stops NJ Whitewater
Brooke, Fredericksburg, sum
nit, Guinea, Wocdslane; Mfifors
Penola, RutheF Glen. boswell
Taylorsville, Ashland, Glen Al
len. and Elba- sleeping Cal
FREDERICKSBURG ACCOMMODATION.
(Daily, except Sunday
T:12A M Leaves Elba for Quautico-
10 r Nj Leaves Byrd-Street for Fredertcks
burg.
| $50 p. m, Leaves Elba for Ashland.
SEQ "A. m, Elba Arrives from ashland
| s Is A. m, Arrives Byrd-Street from Fred
| ericksburg.
SOS P. N, Arrives Elba from Ashland
WP. TAYLOR. Traffic Manager
| Il. T d MYERS. President.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1899-07-15

Idesire to know the where abouts OF
my niecss, Jennie. Moilie. Lizzie aud
Sophie Lawrence. Jennie is about 81
years or Whereabouts. Her moth 81, who
was Roxalie Lawrence settled some
where in Louisa Co., Va.
Tb cir fathers name was Humbrie
Lawrence, and he was brother to me.
These girls are supposed co have two
uncles, named Lewis and Addison Lev
ell. Any information WILDE thankfully
received.
Address,
Mrs. ANNA HUNT,
Care Gaosge B. Kelly, 1886 6sh Ave.
6-l7 s.. r:o7,N z.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1899-07-15
sMH RrnoYER

This preparation. If used as directed. Wiz
turn the skin OF black person fonr or hv@
ahades Whfter and that OF mRiAtsoes perfectly
white ANY person using tt can see the r.
suit IN forty-efght hours.
es out white. 1t Is = very good thing for the
eyes IL allowed 30 get In the eye while WASH
ing the face. -, -. -
One box OF this preparation is al that -
assouired II used as directed, the SKIN rene q
ing beautiful without continual use, ana II
perfectly harmless.
W{ll re move wrinkles, freckles, oArk spots
and pimples from the face without harm 20
the skin -.
direction and preparation VIII be sent 20
anv address on receipt Of - 90, 9. .. D.. OF
"a a Know contents except the receiver a
THOMAS b. CRANE,
laaK W. Broad S.. Richmond. Va
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1899-07-15
THE oPpoReuGCcT OF rds USE
TURY.


Call and See Them.
Yo1 are respectfully invited TO call
at the True Reformers' Bank for the
purpose OF having explained TO you 40
enterprise that is exceedingly sdvau-
tageous to our race both from an ele-
vatIng and finsn sial standpoint.
BENG assured that you are interest
ed in all such movements, We extend
this invitation and trust you will avail
yourself OF the opportunity AMI call al
once.
-ery respectfully,
NELSON WILLIAMS, ia,
K. L. HILL.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1899-07-15
PLANET DKPOrs

The PLANET can be fsdnd &C ehe fox
owing places everV SATURDAY.:
ALroGEA Pa
DO johnson, 1881 Lsth Ave
ATLANTIC CrrxEJ
John Johnson, leo Baltic Ave.
VIC. Robinson, 1905 Arts Ave
q G. &. Lennon. zk Clifsoa Ave.
BELLsvJx, Pa.
John Aimmz.
BALTu<oRE, Nh.
Wakefield B0ok Caueeru,
420 Druid Hi, Ave.
BKAUxowr, TExAG
VIM. Archibad,
BowERs Hill, Va.
A. Ashburn.
BERKLuY, VA.
Mario Riddick
Bosrop. Mass.
William L. Reed ISS Oa15S~sxaa 81
Mrs. AnnCollins I411< EertnanoSen 81
Edward Fo0te, l94 E0rShaHn pton, Sc
w. W. Wallaee. Hotel 1r0nswick,
Back Bar.
P.D. Blackwell. 9Os RIshmsnd, Sc.
CLARKsvILLR, TENN.
Miner Baker.
w. L. Johnson,
CAxBRIDoE, Mass
JAS. o. Creedie. Is Pleasant sc.
CLIFTON FoRaE, Va
W s Thomas,
COscEooToE OKro
8 Hkmmons
DRNoPoLEs, Va.
John W. Andersen.
DAxvKLLE, VA.
r. a. 50hns0n lis UnEs1 So
FULCox, Va.
Thomas Page. State SC.
{ EUFAUI.A, AKA.
d Miss e. v. Vsadroaa.
FARxyLEzn, Va.
p B HairEs0u.
iG1EnNwBCK, OsnE.
Norwood Shields.
tGERnANrowM. PA.
| W.. ~. Byrd, fIe W. H<saa 81
GLEN WrLroE, Va.
VIM. A. Con.
HOr SFRrEos, Va
". b. Thomas,
HAoKEHaAcK n. 7,
ID. II. AAssoH,
HARTFORD, C0MM.
A. Is. walker 180 Peaks "a,
HvNTINazox. W. Va.
Alex DAVia
HAvERE5LL, MA@
Airs l. A Bailey, - DzaEaE g
HAMPTON, Va.
sURn q bA1KGn
: =Solomon Philips
: Akssr8WK. Z. L.
, Ralph WhiSRS
LYRcHB9Ra, Va.
3 Lewis G. 04hIia, t9e0-9eA Sc.
: ChAa. MOEgs1s ca2' Eagles Sc.
Mr.. Hers, WA.
o R II. Thomas,
- MDDLExoN, Pa
= Scots Barbour
- NcREoEE. Va
John De BoRA, xSo ChxrSh st.
john A Waik<bee, 50 Sc. Paul Sc.
t$so ReAm4a 3a3laaen Sc,
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1899-07-15
howard University,
WASHINGTON, d. c.
MEDICAL DEPARTMENT

INCLUDING
Medical, Dental and Pharma-
ceutical Colleges.
Thirty secoRd Session (1S9e-1oOO)
will begin October 2, 1898. and cOntinae
seven Cd months.
Tuition fee in Medical and Dental
Colleges, each $50. Pharmaceutic Col
lege, $40.
An students must register before
October u, 1899. For catalogue or
further information apply to-
F.J. SHADD. NJ. D Secretary.
SOL 4. ST n. W.,
City CT Washington.
< % o.,
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1899-07-15

A dress skirt should be folded for
packing with the right side out. 1t
win crease 1t less than II folded wrong
side out.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1899-07-15

REwPORr NEWS Va
4 L. Brown 675-22d &c
Wayae Crudup, $500 Msdienn Sc.
Robert Rodgers. eS9-2Scd St.
NEW CAsFx.z. PA.
w. =, Barber, 81 North st.
EEwPoRx, R.
Jefferson MARROW. IL Caleb E&rfe Es
NEW YORK NY,
Frederick ]. Brown, 90 Crescent Ava
w ii. Allen, La Columbus Avenn9
Geo IA. Washington, 4S3 TIA -
VIM johnson, 80 18th ST
John Williams, Q8S Washington,
W. A. Kenney, l7S9 3rd Ave.
] r ID. Galloway, 1889 AnzsterGaE Ar
NEwAEk, New JERSEY,
]. 3. Timbrook IS South Canal
Lewis Biggers, 501 Washington ST.
s0xk1zNA, ALA.
Ed. Y. Nearing
0RAKoR. NJ.
L. B. Minor, $50 8. Main St.
PHuADKLPmA Pa
Gen. r. &. johnson, 1922 Losuss SAY
James AccOee, poe s. 9sh Sc.
Z 2 Mackens, Ills Pine IS
James e Warwick, 35z I1th ST
Andrew KinkAid, 1918 Pine St
/ u. Kohler, 1910 Pine St.
]. A. Stokes, Broad a Fttgwaser &o8
/ Charles Steward 1910 RodmEU SC.
/ lively Central Il Laundry Bicyek4 ca
5O7 South IIth Strees
4 PExERsB1RG, Va.
jos Jarrett raj Nigh Pearl Sc.
POUaREEHPeKE n Y
Nelson House. Market Sc
w. j. Ellis
\ PALESTINE, Texas.
FL. B. Barrett.
PtrxssUHa Pa
Jos, Evans, Main 0fEce 8rd Are.
! A. A. Charles. $685. Kelly 81.
PnAxr CTTY, Ala.
I J. A. Epson-
PARKERsDUna. W. Va
4 Marie L. Smish, 422 ssA Sa-
PLAVNEESLD N }
J Z RObinson
4 PALMETTO. La
Rev. g. " ~p@~sSr.
PxNKERs RenT, "a
4 W. 8. Knots
i RuGDsTILLz, n. e.
4 R. r. Watkins
l RsRxR. n. @.
] LeRSx GA6 lord.
RICHMOND, Va.
". n. white. Sol ~. LsfxA Skt
30rnEwGvEELD, O.
] John W. HuRmAa. SOS LSx,xzpgse xrvs
8ToHH C1LsE. W. Us
lSALEE "a
D. II An0~v
1SELMA. AKA.
Eugen T. s -.-s
ATIDEwArRR. ~. Va.
] y. IL 5praiit.
4URBAKA, VA.
W. ID. HaExis
W1LMTEGTeK, n. @.
". Fl. Moore, 8 Mulberry 80.
Jae. g. Blain, 3I0 8. 7th Sd
WHALExvELKIz, Va.
Is. J. Field.
1WHERLEKa, W. Va:
Robert Builete
NJ p Jennings. 10 n. Br0s&wsg -.
WAGE, TEXAS.
SCWtkexn Herald.
WzSsToN, c,
Sam0el ToliVer
WAsRIE070N, ID O.
aE c cOOVss. go Ia Sseees.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1899-07-15
INTERESTING STATISTICS.

There are 1892 colored Baptist
churches in Virginia, only AZ churche
gave birth TO tbs new child, the infant
e snera!. 7l6 coloced Baptist ordained
ministers in the state, not 100 of them
stand as god fathers, 80 colored Bap-
list Associations in the state, not one
of them is AZ che annunciation, cOncep-
tion or delivery Of the babe OF Rich
Enond. It's '.oucheur, q doctor OF
Manchester, Va, who appended his
name only to the call Of the assembly
for the 10Th ult. Th- u De-, B. DIS
and d. DIS, put ths m serves in the back
,Rxonnd and made HIM the cAtepaw to
rake he chestnuts of tha heated iron.
That they might say, il there be n fail
u<e, an uItimeIy death. "Avauot, and
quit my sight, let the earth hiIe thee,
Eny bones are marrowlsss, IhJ III canst
not say / did it."
The Virginia Baptist State Convsn-
Eion has no fear of the rivalry OF tie
new General Association. WHAT is the
record or the success OF the fathers Of
the General Association For years
they were in the ascendency in the
Convention. Tnsy never made il
strictly speaking stAte body. To
membership, some district bodies sur
passed it. OF the 1892 colorsd Baptist
churches OF the state, not over 125 nave
been members Of the convention. OF
the 716 colored Baptist elders in the
state, not $50 OF them are enrolled as
elders OF the convention of the 30 asso-
Citations OF color in the state, not one
half Of them are ia the convention.
II member the composition o. the con-
A>nJiOn Is tn work OF the boilers.
AEBD NOT BE FEARED.
IF the boilers. the secesh, do no bst-
ter with the General Association than
Ehey did VITA the convention, they
need not be feared. They have let the
Shiloh Association dwindle into in
signifisance. They had the Foreign Mis-
sion Convention the board By law 10
Gated ~ Rich mond. They lat il BIZ
sAXen 2rOm-them, and then like chill
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1899-07-15

SUBSCRIBE 70 THE PLANET.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-01-01

all like to meet such people; they are IS refreshing rs spring showers 1t
worth evcrym nan while to be al optimist But it is worth every mans while
get the right idea of what an ophmist really is He is hopeful but OF reckless
he is of good cheer but not utopan. If he is an ophmist of the right stamp h
not a dreamer he is not a lazy cashebulder He takes a just measure
Ifes serious side. He fully realizes that "Its good to be mery-and wise.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-01-01

the sixteenth century before any definite understanding of the
proper day for the celebration al be found AS there have been msun-
destandngs as to when the date should be, SO there have been differences
regarding the way it should be celebrated The priests ha, tried at times to
con6ne the features of the celebration o religious exercises The pious leaders
of the church in the early days. who considered that sin and joIifcaon were
synonymous words wanted fasting and prayer to occupy the leisure time of the
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1899-04-21
POPULAR NAMES OF WARS.
The Conquered Nation Almost Invariably
Comes First Many Cases.

Comes Ftrst-Many Cases.
The conflict bet Ween the United
States and Spain has passed into
history as the "Spanish-American"
war. At first glance there is nothing
strange is this fact Nobody has ever
found out the real source of the names
Of the millions of objects and events
Ordinarily it might almost seem the
names were given by accident or
chance. The matter of naming wars,
however, seems to follow set rule.
Examination reveals the fact that in
almost every case the designation of a
war by certain popularity accepted
name shows mt once the victor and
lie vanquiShed, and that in such cases
The first name, if two be given, or the
)ne name, If there be only one. is the
lame OF the conquered nation. The
.Wo That Will at once occur to anyone'S
memory are the "Franco-Prussian"
war, in which the French We're de-
,eatcd and our own "Spanish-A
can war.
But-there are others. In the Tro-
jan war, so-called. the Troians were
defeated by the Greeks and Troy was
/
an wars We're gained by the Romans.
! In the two Punic wars Punicas:
Phoenician; Carthaginian, because
cartilage was a phoenician colony the
! Narthaginians We're defeated and Car
.ha%e was seized by the Romans. In
modern times the "Napoleonic" wars,
80 called, ended in the destruction of
he armies of Napoleon and the cap
ure and Imprisonment of the emperor
The INDIAN" war of 1871 resulted in
he establishment by Great Britain of
Is power over the Indian empire The
Crlmean war was significant of the
iefeat of Russia by the allied armies
/ 1N1i. The "AustrO-ltalian" war rs
j9-1S60 ended with the defeat of Aus
ria and the indepci dence of Italy. In
/ he "SchleSwig IIostein" war 1S6D
he Danes We're defeated and forced to
,cdc llolstein and Schleswig to the
victorious Austro- pruSSian coalition.
It was of this war about a very COM
olcated situation that Disraeli said,
when asked to explain it, that only two
men, of whom he was one, in the
whole United Kingdom had ever I'M
lcrStGod what it was all about; the
other man was dead, and he had for
/ gotten. Next comes the "Austro- prus-
sian" war. in which Prussia, by win
/ ming the decisive battle of Sadowa,
defeated the Austrians. Then we have
he "Franco-PruSSian' war ending at
Sedan 1870 VITA the humiliation of
he French. The China Japan war,
which the JapaEcs were conquer
)rs; the eco-Turkish" war, result
ne in victory to the Turks, and our
)wn "Spaaish-American" war COM
)letes the series, and seems 20 sustain
he contention that wars are named
rom the conquered and not from the
eonqucrorS.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1899-04-21
STRANGE FREAK OF NATURE
How a Caterpnlar's Body Becomes the
the Root OF "a Bulru,h

the Root OF Bulru~h
From some Of the newer countries
so-called on account Of the lack o.
definite knowledge regarding them,
reports of strange freaks and curiosi-
ties constantly appear, and, as rule,
they are laughed at, but once in
while they turn out to be the truth.
1t is this way with the strange freak
of nature called the bulrush cater
pillar, which is indigenous to New
Zealand. This report, which stated
that al certain seasons large black
caterpillar would bury itself in the
ground, and be converted into the root
of a bulruSh, was laughed at, like the
rest, but now an English scientist,
who recently gave an exhaustive in
yeStigation Of the strange phenomenon,
stated that in many respects the state
mcntS are strictly true. From this re
port ii has been learned that the cater
pillar grows to about three and one
half inches long and when about to
assume the ChrySaliS state buries it
self IN the ground. and in doing SO il
is frequently infected by the spores of
some fungus, which becomes involved
in the scales in its neck. These the
larvae is unable to eXpel. and the vege-
tation thus set up rapidly extends
throughout the entire body. replacing
each animal cell thus destroyed by
vegetable matter. and finally convert
ing it into comparatively dense vege-
table structure. which retains every
detail of the body, even to the legs,
mandibles and minutest claw From
the neck, the portion first infected,
there then shoots up single stem.
which grows to the height of eight or
ten inches, resembling very closely the
clubheaded bulruSh in miniature. 1t
has no leaves. and if the first stem be
broken off another rises in its place,
though two stems never grow stimuli
taneously from the same caterpillar"
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1899-04-21

There are more funny things going
on in this big world than ever its
people dreamed Of But somehow
they never get into books. Now, for
instance, in Australia. Il country that
follows American customs very close
ly, the people have a great desire for
American newspapers. Every steamer
that arrives from this country brings
its full quota of American journals,
which are Immediately put on sale.
One day | was in Adelaide, South
Australia, and | went into Il store to
buy the Sunday edition of New York
paper. The dealer took one. placed it
on the scales. which he scanned very
carefully and then said Is pence (36
cents.
THAT costs about one-eighth as much
in New York." | said
"Cawn't 'elp that" answered the
dealer. These ere papers is mas
sive. They contain lots of good paper.
and we got to sell em by weight"
Have you any chcaperY' | asked.
Yes" he said again, I've got some
cheaper; this one is only 10d; it weighs
much less; it has no pictures, you See"
and he picked up Chicago journal of
IA mid-week date.
But l want a New York Sunday
newspaper" | persisted
well, those will cost you from 1Sd
to pod $50 to 40 cents each, according
to weight, but can sell you a Kansas
City Sunday paper for Cd az cents
if you must have cheap Sunday
edition"
Then | found that the dealer would
sell separate sections of Sunday
edition if the customer didn't want
the whole, and while | was in the store
three men came in and bought differ
ent parts of a journal, paying as much
as four cents section. OF course.
when the want adj" part was put on
the scales and sold to the fourth Gus
toner he didn't know how interesting
New York news was until he got home.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1899-04-21
AN ODD CHRISTENING.


There lives man In Detroit, intel
ligcnt, prosperous and happy, who
does not know that he has a living
relative in the world. He bears the
deprivation philosophically. and seems
TO regard it as something of distinc-
ton TO be alone in the world.
Nearly fifty years ago" he relates,
Il was picked up by slow sailing
vessel some GOO miles from Liverpool.
| Was lusty youHgSter of five. dashed
to mast a pleasing assurance that
the parents whom barely recall loved
me and had care for my safety in
the catastrophe that must have caused
their own deaths. | was cold, hungry,
thirsty and sleepy when taken aboard
the old-tmc trader. My appearance
was, of course, against me. and my
clamor to be supplied with creature
comforts did not please the gruff
captain who had dense ignorance of
children and their management. His
first order was to give me the ropes
end, but there was successful inter
ccSSon, and | WAS cared for. while he
groWcd ut his hard luck.
But the captain took sick and found
more comfort in my prattle than in
anything else provided for him. He
took a great liking TO me and called
me his son As soon as he was up he
decided that must be chriStcncd. one
Of the few things that he knew should
De attended to in the ease of children.
Of course. there was no chaplain
aboard, So the captain himself under
took the ceremony. He gathered the
crew about ana With mixed know
ledge of his duties he glarcd about
nim rs he asked whether anyone knew
just cause why should not be chris
tened.
If there is he ro7rod, speak up
like a man oil forever hold your clap
per Then he suddenly cracked a bot
lie of wine over my head and christen-
"a me-
Here the citizen laughed and added
that he was nine when the captain
lied, and had made his own way ever
since
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1899-04-21
Humor Turks in Ignorance

Some of the answers handed in on
examination are extremely funny,
especially for library and clerical po-
sitions. One young woman who as
bred to hand out books at the public
library opined that Chicago's literary
ion, Hobart Chatticld Chatfield-T ay-
or. wrote The Vicar of Wakefield
while Mr.. Canterbury wrote Canter-
)ury Tales. This refreshing young
person also stated that Mark Twain
was the pseudonym of Mare Antony.
Her knowledge was not confined to
literature alone, for she gave the I'M
eresting information that Richard
Wagner was a ''Strcet car magnate."
The three greatest epics she pronounc-
ID to be The Psalm of Life. Old Oak
IN Bucket, and Owen Meredith's Lu-
Tile. Being asked to write a short ac-
count of herself, the young woman
declared that L am merely a drop in
he great ocean of humanity" one Of
he examiners unfeelingiy remarked
hat ''if she stays in that hot library
ong she'll find herself merely a grease
spot"
A man who wanted the position Of
examiner himself, gave it as his an
biased judgments that prohibit" may
De spelled either 'prohibed" or pro
lippet," according to whether you
prefer Webstur or luther awthortes."