davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Winslow mail., 1899-08-24
AUTOMATIC COUPLERS.
The First Invention, It's Inventor and
Others Were Overwhelmed
in Ruin.

The idea of a self-locking coupler
suggested itself to inventors many
years ago, and away back in 1856 or
thereabouts a prosperous Kentucky
farmer named Mclean figured out
device that seemed to fill the bill to a
dot. 1t consisted of pair of inter
locking levers, controlled by very
simple mechanism, and the model
worked like charm. Mclean was sat
isfed he had a fortune in sight, and
went north to interview a certain big
railroad magnate. TO his surprise the
magnate failed to enthuse, and, while
he admitted that the invention was
good thing, he declined absolutely
to have anything to do with it. OF
course, he was proceeding on the
well-known theory that it is folly to
waste money improving the service
when you don't have to, but the farm
er couldn't grasp the idea, and he be-
gan q pilgrimage from one headquar.
ter office to another, appealing, expos
tulating and explaining the merits of
his apparatus. What bewildered him
was that everybody freely admitted the
utility of the thing, but nobody would
consider its adoption. Finally the war
came on, and everything else was swept
into the background for four years,
After peace was declared Mclean be-
gan again, confident as ever. He had
been worth $4,000 or 100000 when he
started, and he eventually reduced him
self to penury. Everything went
into the nav Of the invention, and
along about 1868 he died, broken
hearted brother. tFfIe coupler patent
then passed into the hands of a cousin.
who was a merchant in Louisville.
When he studied the device he became
{K6B R& SfaaIfa fR& a&G1MiSSeS RRe RRs beeae bPScSme
an enthusiast and began a new cam
paign where Mclean left off. To make
long story short, he sunk everything
he had on earth in an effort to get ii
adopted, and finally committed suicide.
His lawyer took the coupler for back
fees and inherited the hoodoo. In q
little while he was devoting his entire
time and attention to the work of pro.
noting, and seemed continually on the
verge of reaping a big fortune. He
kept at it until his health and re.
sources came to an end together, and
the last heard of him he was working
as a clerk in Los Angeles. Meanwhile
the coupler had been outclassed by
new devices, and only a few months age
the old model was in a Chicago rail
way Office, where it had been left as q
curio. Strange, isn't it, that really
valuable and useful invention should
have wrecked so many lives?-N. O.
Times-Democrat.
The Winslow mail., 1899-08-24
A Marriage Fee.

A clergyman of Georgia was once
standing in the courthouse when
Hoosier came in to see the ordinary in
order to procure marriage license.
The countryman asked for "a pair of
licenses, and on making the purchase
necessary to being united in the holy
bonds of matrimony inquired of the
ordinary: 'Who can l git to marry
me?" The ordinary replied that he
could perform the ceremony, or the
parson, standing near, would probably
accommodate him. The countryman
turned to the parson and asked if he
would marry him. The parson readily
consented, and asked the would-be
bridegroom. Where's your gal?' He
replied, 'Out yonder-in the street"
The parson said Fetch her in" Then
she was ''fotch" in and the ''lznot tied"
The bridegroom asked the parson the
amount of Indebtedness incurred, and
was told that no charge made, but
that he always left the tier for the
bridegroom to decide The latter re
piled: I've got no money. I've got
bll6Q, It6g0CH0 M00Gl' 166@G z
load of punl1ins out yonder: IN give
give you a punkin. .''-Homiletic Re-
viaw
The Winslow mail., 1899-08-24
American HeraIdry.

a foreigner coming into England is
amenable to the laws OF honor of his
own country and the authorities con-
trolling them in that country so long as
he retains his original nationality.
Those foreign laws and the laws Of
armorial registration and control vary
considerably, but there is one funda-
mental code which is now and has been
for some centuries admitted practically
from one end of Europe to the other.
With countries outside Europe one need
not trouble. American heraldry is be-
meath contempt q do not refer to the
armory of American scions of English
families), and the barbaric totemism of
semiciyilized countries, though the
origin of our own heraldry is hardly
sufficiently evolved to be considered as
armory. The one fundamental Eu-
ropean rule is this-that arms are
matter of honor, and that the confer
ring of honor and hOnOrs is preroga-
tive of fsovereignty-Note and Queries.
The Winslow mail., 1899-08-24
PERSONAL AND LITERARY.

Admiral Dewey says the first bit of
fiction he ever read was Robinson
Crusoe."
Salt herring is Paul Kruger's favor
ite delicacy. He eats it at least once
each day.
The mayor of Hays City, Kan, is only
22 years old, the president of the coun-
ell is % and the oldest man in the mu-
nieipal government is 80.
r. W. Chambers, when not writing
books, gives his time to many fads.
He collects butterflies, designs uni
forms and keeps up his painting.
Senator Chandler, of New Hamp-
shire, besides writing most of the edi-
torials in the Concord Monitor, reads
a good deal of copy, and makes up the
paper on his managing editors day of.
Mrs. Charles Havemeyer, wife of the
sugar magnate, is, feature for feature,
an exact counterpart of the beautiful
duchess of Portland, and Lady Curzon,
vicereine of India, is the double OF the
empress of Russia.
1ne conVlctS OF SING sing, N. :, nave
started, under the warden's supervl-
sion, biweekly journal, the Star OF
Hope. But there is said to be only
one newspaper man among the many
hundred prisoners there.
Rev. DR.. w. II. 2. Faunce, the new
president of Brown university, is an
''all-round man" rather than special
list, his characteristics being more lit
erary than scientific. DR.. Faunce Is
only Al years old, but already has
splendidly selected library of nearly
nm ro1,,Toac
The Winslow mail., 1899-08-24
WIT AND WISDOM.

Undertaker-"B "Busy?' Second I'm
Rushed to death. Judge.
BY being good to others you will be
best to YOURSELF. A. W. Bulletin.
There are just as many seconds in a
spare moment as there are in full
one.-Chicago Daily News.
"Were you on the firing-line during
the warp ''Yes; [ was one of the
cooks. ."-Yonkers Statesman.
May "There'll be a lot of men disap-
pointed when l marry" Edith-"You
surely aren't going to marry more than
one, are ?'-Town Topics.
The river of life is a navigable stream
which congress doesn't appropriate
much money for the improvement of
1t, being in nobody's district in partic-
ular.-Detroit Journal.
Ikenstein-"Oh, veil, am holdting
my own, anyhow" Swindlebaum-
Vat does dot amoundt to? Ven you
get to holdin' oder peoples own, den
you can pegin to prag!''-Life.
HoaX-"See that little chap over
there? He doesn't look like celebri-
ty, and yet his name is in everyone's
mouth" JoaX-"So? Who is hep"
HoaX-'Why, his names Mohler."-
Philadelphia Record.
City Editor-"Mr. Strong has been
in to-day, and he had murder in his
eye. How in time did you come to
speak of Mrs. Strong's alleged hus-
band in that paragraph about her ac-
cident?" j. Fresh-''I did it to steer
clear of libel suit. You know you told
me always to say alleged thief al
legged murderer and that sort Of
| thir1C y pnS4o,,
The Winslow mail., 1899-08-24
Crucifed Women.

The Elder Dempster liner Sobo, which
arrived at Liverpool recently from OPP
obo, brought full particulars of the ex-
pedition into the Quae country made
by the troops of the Niger coast protcc-
torate. ''As the expedition marched
through the country signs of fetish
worship and human sacrifices were
everywhere seen. At Affar-Eket one of
fcer counted no fewer than six hu-
man beings who had been either cru
Gifted on the trees in the town or other
wise killed. In most cases the victims
were women. One of the most revolt
ing sights was the body of poor wom-
an who had been tied to tree in such
a way as to infict great pain. She had
been starved to death, but quantity of
food was still before the dead body. hav-
ing been placed in the poor creatures
sight to add to her torments. The
white officers told the chiefs and peoDle
that they must abolish such customs.
The expedition had a marvellous effect
in restoring the whole. country to order
and peace by destroying the power of
the fetish Quae tribe. They have for
wears been a most ferocious people. the
women being as cruel as the men.-Lon-
don Daily News.
The Winslow mail., 1899-08-24
What a COOi

Some of Sir Wilfrid Lawson's tenants
were being entertained one day at din
ner. There was plenty of aerated
water and milk for them, but nothing
stronger.
One of the farmers, who knew by ex-
perience what to expect, nad provided
himself with a flask of rum and, uls-
known to brother farmer, poured =
generous quantity into the glass OF
milk which his neighbor had elected to
drink.
In due time the unsuspecting farmer
put the glass to his lips and seemed 10
enjoy it, so that he never stopped tlh
he finished it. Then he turned to his
friend and remarked: "Hech! man Tam
mas. what-a coor'-London Answers.
The Winslow mail., 1899-08-24
ATelephone Message
'FTffT~TTTrTTTTTTTTTTTTTx
By Drino Stuart

hTHERE were eight boys in the
Murray family" quoted John,
slyly, to the other cousins, as Uncle
Robert Murray came into the house
after the noon chores.
Eight children in the Murray fam
lily, all boys" repeated Cousin Jennie,
leading the grand rush to capture
Uncle Robert, seat him in the biggest
chair in the sitting-room, and snuggle
around him in various attitudes until
he won his release by telling a story of
pioneer days.
1.-The present generation of Murrays
is ahead by eight girls said Uncle,
good-naturedIy, but in my fathers
family there were eight boys, and the
smartest one was JIM"
''My names Jim," piped five-year-
old, quite as if he were satisfied that
smartness had been inherited with the
name.
''Well, let's see," returned his uncle,
'1when Jim was nearly three years old
they were building the first school
house in that neck of the woods. At
the time set for the schoolmaster to be-
gin school, it was not finished, but as
a few more days would complete it,
he did not return home, but stayed at
our house until it was ready. Father
and mother drove into the next county
to attend wedding, and were gone
week, visiting friends along the way,
and when they came back Jim had not
only learned his letters, with the
schoolmaster's help, but could read in
the second reader. How's that,
Jimmy!"
Jimmy hid consciously behind
uncle's arm, fully aware that his per-
sonal learning was limited to the
spelling of dog"
He didn't keep that up very long,
did hep" inquired doubling Sam.
''Well, you can judge. He went to
school the next summer, and mother
has told me that often and often old
Angeline Jones, who was the hired girl
at our house, used to say when Jim
went over what he had learned during
the day: Hold on, Jimmy, you'll be
ready to go to Washington before we
can make up clothes that you won't
outgrow.'
"Why, he never was president, was
hep inquired Dorothy, much sur
prised.
Not to my knowledge" chuckled
uncle; "but he was a great boy for
books. Give him book to read, and he
didn't know anything else. When he
wouldn't join our games, we'd get mad
at him and play tricks on him.
Tell us about one," pleaded Marga-
ret.
swell, every boy, you know, had his
share of the chores to do, and Jim's
part was to milk one cow night and
morning. One day the schoolmaster
had lent him a book, sPlutarch's Lives.
i think and Jim was buried in it We
couldn't get a word from him edge
The Winslow mail., 1899-08-24
Shrewd Donkey-BOys.

The donkey-boys OF the Nile deserve
a book all to themselves. Such craftl
Such fattery! Such knowledge of hui
man naturel With unerring sagacity
they discover your nationality and give
your donkey names famous in your
own country. Never will an English
man find himself astride Yankee
Doodle" or '.Uncle Sam" or an Ameri-
can upon John Bull"
"What's the name of my donkey?"
asked my companion.
"Cleveland, came the answer like
flash.
We were enchanted.
"And what's the name of miner" l
asked.
"McKinleyP
Then we shouted. You have no idea
how funny it sounded to hear those
two familiar names in such strange
surroundings. We nearly tumbled off
in our delight, and those clever little
donkey boys are quick to watch your
face and divine your mood LILLIAN
Bell, in Woman's Home Companion.
The Winslow mail., 1899-08-24
Expressed in His own Way.

A certain Sunday school teacher who
has a class of boys of assorted sizes"
established the custom in her class of
repeating each Sunday a Scriptural pas
sage in unison until it was firmly i'm
planted in the ''vagrant minds" The
selection for the Sunday in question
was: "'Tis I, be not afraid and after
the usual mental gymnastics had been
gone through, after an expectant hush,
one promising youth volunteered the
information that he knew. ''Well, what
is it?' asked the teacher. Its me,
don't get skeered," was his rendition of
the verse
The Winslow mail., 1899-08-24
THE FLORIDA GOPHER.
1t Is Turtle and Lives in the
Ground With RattIesnakes
and Lizards.

"The most interesting creature ever
saw in Florida" said New York man
who spent the winter there; was the
burrowing turtle. This turtle is pc
culiar to Florida and it is an important
factor in the domestic economy of the
cracker population, for the Florida
cracker dotes on the gopher-that's
what they call this burrowing turtle
and thinks it is the finest thing in the
edible line that ever existed. l couldn't
agree with him on that, though, for [
didn't approve of the company the
gopher is in the habit of keeping, and
can't see how anything can be real good
and keep bad company. The gopher
digs a deep hole and q large one in the
ground and remains in it all the time
except when out grazing, for this rep
tile is a grazer and pastures just like a
COW, except that it won't eat anything
but wild grass. This turtle doesn't like
the vicinity of water, and selects the
high, dry, sandy ridges for its home.
It's cracker neighbors say that it never
drinks water-which would also be a
habitual characteristic of the cracker
if he could always get something
stronger than water.
another thing that induces the
gopher to dig it's burrow out of the
reach of water is that in those dry and
sandy places the rattlesnake and vari-
Gus kinds of hideous-looking lizards
are most plentiful, and the gopher is
never happy unless it's burrow is shared
bv colony of either one or the other of
these, if not of both Find gopher
hole and uncover it, and you viii be
on mOrO EOttl0GDOFOG ODd mOHpO Z Oh
or more rattlesnalSes, and maybe Is
20 lizards of various sizes and colors and
degrees of ugliness occupying it with
its proprietor. The gopher plainly
loves the companionship of these dead
ly things, although it is itself as meek
and harmless as a dove.
''No dweller in those parts of Florida
ever goes anywhere about without a
bag slung over his or her shoulder. This
is to put gophers in, as some are pretty
sure to be found pasturing in the wild
grass patches. The moment gopher
is surprised by person with bag it
shuts itself securely in it's shell, and the
cracker picks it up and tumbles it into
the bag. The gopher is likewise trapped
by digging a hole close to the entrance
of it's burrow and sinking a barrel or
box into it and covering the trap with
loose twigs. When the gopher comes
out and starts on a foraging trip it
tumbles into the trap and can't get out.
What terrapin are to the high-living
epicure, the gopher is to the Florida
cracker. The gopher deposits from
50 to 100 green eggs in hole in the
sand, and if the cracker does not un-
earth them and add them to his bill of
fare, which is his habit, the eggs will
hatch, and in three weeks the sand will
be covered with young gophers, about
the size of quarter of dollar, scramb-
ling in all directions to hide away from
hawks and other birds of prey, which
are particularly fond of the little rep
ties, and keep the future colony Of
oophers within bounds. IN. Y. Sun.
The Winslow mail., 1899-08-24
Something TO sey. af Coursc.

MS there anything you wish TO say
before sentence is passed upon you?'
asked the judge.
Thereupon the bailiff laughed.
He couldn't help it.
He was a married man and the de-
fendant was woman.
"Such question:" he chuckled to
himself.-Chicaso Times-derald.
The Winslow mail., 1899-08-24
All Down.

Mrs. B.-Just look, George, al these
beautiful pillows l bought at to-day's s
sale.
Mr.. B.-But really, my dear, think
we have plenty of pillows now.
"Oh, but | couldn't resist buying
these; they were all marked down.
Chicago Evening News.
The Winslow mail., 1899-08-24
MIGHT Have Been WORSE.

Father i'll and can't work. Tut, TUT
That's very serious matter for all OF
you, my little man.
'Yessir, but it might have been
wuss."
Worse! Why, he's the breadwinner,
isn't hep
'Yessir, but it might have been
mother, and she's the rent an oil an
tea an clothes an sugar an milk an
meat winner r"-Pick-Ne-ITn
The Winslow mail., 1899-08-24
Senscless.

Bacon-When a man is in love every
thing about looks different to him.
Egbert-Yes; it's the same way 81 hen
he knocks his head against a gas
bracket.-Yonkers Statesman.
The Winslow mail., 1899-08-24
The Distinction.

Crabshaw-I hear they put him in a
lunatic asylum because he had squan-
dered all his Inheritance.
Crawford-No; he's in a sanitarium
Crabshaw-Then he has some of his
money left.-N. Y. World
The Winslow mail., 1899-08-24
Mean of Him.

Young wife-I had nothing else to do
so I did the cooking.
Husband-Yes, yes! Satan finds some
mischief still for idle hands to do
Heitore Welt.
The Winslow mail., 1899-08-24
First Is PreferahIe-

The wise man seeks a woman with an
Independent fortune rather than a for
tune with an Independent woman at
tached.-Chicago Daily News.
The Winslow mail., 1899-08-24
cnnd Advfce.

Sapsmith-That brute, Briggs, threat
ems to kick me the next time we meet.
What shall do?
Grimshaw-Sit down every time you
see him coming. g.-Puck.
The Winslow mail., 1899-08-24
The Bench and the Bar.

Judge-Your face is familiar I've
seen you before.
Prisoner - Yes, your honor, quite
often.
''Ah! What was the charge the last
time l saw you?''
81 think it was IS cents, your honor.
I mixed cocktail for you, believe.''-
Catholic Standard and Times.
The Winslow mail., 1899-08-24
IIIOtuCI 8 tOIoC:

llI0CHCI 3 t0IoC!
II obeyed, and he followed Half way
down the rise of ground on which the
big tree stood we both heard her call
something, and Jim gave a tremendous
shout in reply, and 'Ja-a-mes, I-can't-
tell-what-you-say, came back.
''Then I said: Keep tal1ing!' and
after that every ten rods or so we'd hear
Robert and Jim concluded that she
could hear my voice best.
"Often and often we failed to get an
answer, and 1 thought mother had
grown tired, but Jim went back along
the line of our footsteps and found that
invariably in that case we had taken a
circular course instead of going in a
straight line In ten minutes or so Jim
shouted that we'd struck a wood road
through the timber some three miles
from home. Then we knew our where
abouts and began to look for mother,
for we made sure she must be out look
ing for US. But there were no tracks in
the snow save our own, and about two
o'clock two hungry boys bounced into
the kitchen and found mother almost
fainting in her rocking chair and ia
ther and all the boys around her.
1--WE were greeted with such storm
of Indignation that all Jim could do was
to stand and take it while L slipped
around to mother and laid my hand in
her lap among the wintergreens.
"'You're fine fellow!' they scolded
at Jim. 'Playin' tricks on MOTHER and
so on, until father said, sternly, young
man, explain YOURSELF
Jim had only been waiting for the
chance. Father remembered the big
tree, but nobody believed we had heard
mother call while we stood under it.
though they admitted that she had
called, because she thought we had
missed our way across lots. But we
stuck to our story, and explained, and
explained, until father said something
( about echoes, and stopped the discus
sion. He thought we must have fol-
lowed a slough that joined the marsh
like thumb to the end, and then wan
dered unconsciously into the woods
around the head OF the marsh. But
mother to her dying day thought the
angels had carried her voice to her lost
boys to guide them home. Detroit
Free Press.
The Winslow mail., 1899-08-24

pany, but without his book he was
splendid, So, after searching his pocl1-
cts, his sleeves, his cap, and vest, and
making sure that by no sleight of hand
he had transferred the undesirable arr
ticle from one to the other during the
process, we started. We had lots OF
fun, and by the time Jim had filled one
berries for the girls at school, who had
ordered him not to come to school
again until he could furnish these COM
missary stores, and had big bouquet
of the l0ngest-stemmed wintergreens
, with the biggest berries | could find for
mother, who always stood by me, we
had come out of the marsh on the side
opposite our home.
''The day had turned foggy, and
fearing we might get lost if we crossed
the marsh again, Jim determined to go
around through the woods. Bidding
me keep the alders that fringed the
marsh always at my left hand, in case
we got separated, Jim led the way.
couldn't see him, if he was a rod
ahead, but L could see and follow his
footsteps through the big patches OF
snow. By and by, L noticed that he
wobbled here and there, and as l was
getting tired I yelled at him to get
home the shortest way, and not stop
for blue jays and squirrels nests. He
stopped until l came up, and then asked
me how I'd feel if | knew / was lost. l
was real cross and said he'd better quit
fooling when it must be dinner time.
"'All right he said, let's go to that
big tree and rest a bit, then you can
lead out, for L don't know where we
are
81 was scared, for if Jim didn't know
his way in any woods within miles OF
home, we were lost indeed.
"'Truth and honor, Jim?' l says.
"'Good Iniun, Bobby. I'm sorry, but
I can't make out where we are. If I've
calculated right we ought to be clear
around the end of the marsh, and near
the main road. But l don't remember
any such trees as this, and we must be
lost. 1t doesn't look as though we'd
get any dinner to-day
"Perhaps dinner time made me think
of it, but just then, as plainly as hear
you speak, 1 heard my mother call
Robert! Rob-er-rt!'
81 told Jim, and we both thought we
must be near the road, and clrcled
around farther and farther, but could
find no trace.
cts no use, Bobby Jim said, final
ly: we're certainly lost. Here's that
big tree again; if I'd ever seen that be-
fore to-day l would have remembered 1T.
Are you sure you heard mother call?'
"''Course 1 did, told him; L could
almost see her, too, at the corner of the
house with pan in her hand
"That last idea didn't make Jim be-
ieve my word any the faster, but just
then l heard again, 'Rob-er-rt!'
81 yelled back: I'm lo-ost!'
"After minute L heard, Where's
James"
"'Here!' / answered. Then l heard a
confused sound, like different voices, it
seemed, but nothing clearly. ] shouted
again: 'Moth-erl and she called back:
Don't fool! Come home!' Then all was
silent. Jim was five or six feet away,
watching me curiously, for he didn't
hear word, except those l spoke.
"'We must be near home, Bobby, if
you heard all that; mother thinks so,
too. and that we are fooling her by play
ing lost Now he went on, you wal k
right straight ahead in the direction of
mothers voice.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1899-08-03
MORGANTOWN NOTES.

MORGANTOWN, w. VA, August l.
Col. Maeker Babb. of Medley, has
been in town on National Guard bust
ness. He stated while here that the
practice march for the First Battalion
of the First Regiment under Major w.
w. Scott, of Fairmont, would take
place on the fifteenth of this month.
The orders for the march have been is
sued but no time was set by headquar
tiers. This was left to the Major and
he has decided on the fifteenth. The
places to be covered on the march have
not been designated, but it is stated
that it will be from Kingwood to Terra
Alta, which will be devoted entirely to
marching.
Col. w. w. Arnett, of Wheeling, and
w. H. Conway, of Fairmont, have