The morning news., 1899-04-16
nonIev ON the Wedding.

They Sc wan thing that always makes
me feel sure iv what Hogan calls tn
safety iv our dimmycratic Institutions"
said Mr.. Dooley, according to the Chicago
Journal. "an that's th' inthrest tn good
people iv New York takes in a weddin'
iv tn millyonaires. Amy time a miliyon-
aire condiscnds to enter th' martial state,
as Hogan says, an as Hogan says, make
VOWS to Hyman, which is tn Jew goo
iv marredge, he can fill the house an
TURN people away firm the dure. An
he does. Tn sthreets is crowded IN
cars can har'ly get through, Tn polls
foorce is out an hammerins tn heads
iv tn delighted throng. Representatives ~
tn free an enlightened press, tn pollu-
tyem iv our liberties, as Hogan says,
bright, intelligent young journalists, liver
r-ready to probe fraud an sham, disgeesed
as walters, is dashin' madly about maxim
notes on their cuffs. Business is suspind-
ed. They'se no money in Wall sthreet
It's all at th' sacred scene. Hour be hour
as tn prisints ar-re delivered, tn bank
rates go up. TIL threeasury departmint
has to go on a silver basis, there bein
no gooId to mannyfacther into plunks
Inside tn house tn prisints cast a
golden gleam on tn beauchious scene.
TIL happy father it seen seated at a table
dictatin' millyon-dollar checks to a ste
nOSTdpneF. IN BOOlQ cndHuelieTS Is dldp-
ed with r-ropes iv dimons an pearls TIL
hired girl is passin' drinks in goolden
goblets Twenty firemen firm tn New
Work Cinthral Railroad Is shoveliu' di-
mon-sh tudded pickle crutes into tn back
yard among tn yachts an hor-rses. Chan
sey Depoo enthers an thrips over a box
iv bonds. 'Ar-re these tn holy bonds iv
matrimony?' he says, f'r he is wild div
vie an We can't stop his jokin', aven on
solemn occasions.
"Th' soggarth comes in afther awhile,
carryin' a good prayer-book, tn gift lv
tn Rothschilds, an stands behind small
but vaPyable pree Doc. To tn soft, meelo-
dious chune iv tn Wagner Palace Weddin'
March firm Long Green tn groom enthers,
simply but iXpinsively attired in govermint
fours an fannin' himsilf with a bunch iv
first morgedge bonds. Th' prayers FIR tn
occasion, printed on negotiable paper, is
distributed among tn guests. TIL bride
was delayed by tn crowd outside. Women
screamed an waved their handkerchefs,
sthrong men cheered an wept, an twas
not until tn polls has clubbed tin hardy
pathrites to death that th' lady cud en-
ther tn house where her fate was to be
sealed. But fn'lly she med it, an TIL two
happy, happy childher, whose sunshiny
youth rpresinted five thousan' miles iv
thrack goold mines, wan hundred mil
yon dollars worth iv rollin' stock, an a
majority inthrest in the Chicago stock
yards, was r-ready for tn nicissry trans
fers that wud establish tn COM -b.nation.
''Th' ceremony was brief, but inthrestn
TIL happy father forced his way through
dPmond stomachers an they was tears in
his eyes as he handed tn clergyman, whose
name was Murphy, but he carried himself
as well as IL he was used to 1t. handed
him a check fr tin millyon dollars. 1
don't blame him. Divvle the bit Me own
hear-rt is hard an me eyes ar-re dhry, but
I'd break down If I had to hand amy
wan that much. I suppose tn check is
good?" said the clergyman. Otis certyfied,'
says tn weepn' father. DO ye take this
! check says tn Clergyman, to have an to
hold, until some wan parts ye firm it,? he
says. I do, says the young man, Thin,
says the Clergyman, i see no treason
why ye shudden't be marrid an live COM
Portable he says, an marrid eey
were, in tn same OF foolish
way that peoples been married in fr
cinch-ries. "Tis a wondher to me tn
| ceremony amt changed. TIL time is
| comm Hinnissy, whin millyonaires II not
be married be Father Murphy. but be tn
gov'rnors in tn stock exchange. They
be put through tn clearin house, me
faith, an securities ii be issued be tn
combination. Twinty-year goold-secured
| four per cint- bonds iv mathrimony! Aha,
tbs a joke that Chansy Depoo might've
medi
18th, crowd outside waited, cheerin' an
| fightin' tn polls. In this here land iv
| liberty an akequalty, Hinnissy. iv'ry
| man is as good as iv'ry other man, ex-
| cept polisInan an it showded how thTue
| tn people In New York is to tn thra-
| ditions iv Jefferson that divvle a wan iv
thim'd move away till tn checked been
passed firm father to son an tn import
| ant part iv tn sacred ceremony was over.
| Thin few iv thin wint home to cuk
dinner FIR their husbands, who was pre-
vinted be their jooties at tn gas house
| from attindin' tn function. TIL r-rest
remained an see tn two gr-reat fortunes
| get into their carredge, pursued be tn
guests to tn amount iv five hundred mil
| lyons, peltin' thin with seed pearls"
Sure" said Mr.. Hennessy, "Mebbe
'twasn't as bad as tn pa-apers let on. Ye
1 can't always thrust thim.
Perhaps not" said Mr. Dooley. 9TH
| pa-apers say Two gr-reat fortunes unit
| ed an If that's 1t they didn't need tn
sarvices Nv a priest, but lawyer an a
thrust comp'ny. Perhaps, with all tn
| certyfied checks twas two rale people
| that was marrid, an if that's so, 1t ex-
| plains tn prisince W Father Murphy"
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