davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1899-05-28
ERIE MEDICAL CO.,
90 NIAGARA ST, BUFFALO N y

Sirs:-As per statement In Houston po.t -
mail me, under plain letter seal stage rss ~ ~
PLANTATION of your system OF furnishing vo ~ y
ance and Remedies reliable en- on trla1 ssS ApFA
without expense payment TO be made in asvs syn.
cost of any Kind unle ss treatment proves surrss
entirely satisfactory. Also mail sealed tree s sm y
medical book Tor men. 'Vsf ~
GILL IN NAME AND ADDRESS IN FULL,
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1899-05-28
rHE sourMERN LEAGun.

Cleveland. May 27.-No game; rain.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1899-05-28
WI AK Me
No !! Money! in
Advance

Marvellous appliance and remedies MI
power will be sent on trial, without al, :
vance payment, by the foremost Cor' y
in the world in the treatment Of men s Y n
broken, discouraged from effects J. s'at
cesses, worry, overwork, etc Ham y
riage secured, complete restoration ~ q 81 W.
opment of all robust conditions. IVY
No cod. fraud; no deception. ~ w
ure. Any man writing in good fa;th ~
obtain full account of this astonishirs
TEN. You have only to write yo,r s' Y
and address in the blank form beIor .s y
out the coupon and mail it to Il. ~
Medical Co., Buffalo, N. Y. =
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1899-05-28

Cincinnati, May 2T,-BostOn took tho third
game from the Reds today by superior hit
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1899-05-28

is now. His friends who saw him at Car
son City and who have seen him in other
engagements say the same.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-02-03

The shah of Persia owns the most val
liable arm chair in the world. 1t is of
solid gold, inlaid with precious stones.
Al one time some of the stones were
stolen from one Of the legs of the chair.
and the indignant shah ordered the ar
rest Of "a number of his servants and
held the keeper of the furniture re-
eponsible for the loss, with the intima,
ton that II the thief were not discoy
cred, the keeper would he beheaded.
The culprit, being eventually found,
was forthwith beheaded and his head
carried on a pole by the imperial body.
guard through the streets of Teheran
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-02-03

chief, and to enter a plea of "not
guilty" Hooker was next given
hearing and Fighting Joe made n very
emphatic disclaimer of all RESPONSE
biity.
Then the president assembled the
four generals In his room and said to
them: Gentlemen Enrper's Ferry
was surrendered and none of you, it
seems. was responsible. I am very
anxious to discover the man who is"
After siriding across the room several
times the president suddenly threw up
his bowed head and exclaimed: "I
have it, | know who is responsible"
"Who. Mr.. President, who is ~"
asked the distinguished quartette, as
they looked anxious, il not troubled.
"Gentlemen." said the president,
with meaning twinkle in his eye,
Gen. Lee is the man"
There was n lack Of mirth in the laugh
created, aud the four generals took
their departure with Il determination
that they would not again be placed
under Detroit Free Press.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-02-03
NEW WAY OF EARNING FEES.
i.uthnm D0ctors FOrbidding Hc-
newnI Of PRESCRIPTIONS " it'll
out Orders.

Only a short time ago several physi-
cans prominent in IA special branch of
practice met to decide in what way
they could best bring to the attention
of a colleague question that interest
ed them greatly. This physician, says
the New York Sun, was almost the best
known in his speciality in the city, but
his charges, in view of his reputation,
have always been so moderate that his
associates felt the need of protesting.
But 1t was decided not to protest, and
the physician received only an iutima-
ton that his fees sometimes astouishCd
his brothers in the profession. One
physician in town has recently intro
duced practice which is said TO he
increasing in popularity with the pro-
fessiou. and it is likely that the Gus
tom will be adopted widely by those
physicians who have authority enough
toattCmpt anything 80 novel. This doc
tor has his patients take the brcscrip-
ton 10 druggist who is forbidden by
the terms Of his agreement to renew
the prescription except upon q written
order from the doctor No patient can
get his bottle or box rpfillcd unless he
brings the new prescription. which
means, Of course. another visit TO the
doctor. The bottles are of a size that
lasts for week In some cases the
same medicines are renewed week after
week but with the order that comes
only from the visit to the doctor They
are changed i'm few eases. The profess
sion has not protested against this new
fashion a. yet. and it is not likely that
it will But it is only the influential
and authoritative among the physicians
| that are able to attempt IT,
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-02-03
GRANT sHAw's SAYINGS.

II you must kick, kick hard.
why are all barns painted red ?
Goods box tinanciering never wins.
Old people don't believe that the
good die young.
Some people are always in pa ella
OF sandburs.
SO many people fail to ever have
"both ends meet
The hen that doesn't lay has the
brightest plumage.
Statistics, like law, will prove
either side of the case.
The easiest way to avoid trouble is
not to be troublesome.
A dead merchant always has high
er prices than live one.
A young man seeks pleasure; an
old one tries to shun grief
You try to pull other peoples legs
and they try to pull yours
The less you know about man
the less you are apt to hate him.
Don't stay with pet scheme, or it
will send you to the.poor house.
( There are more men saved by a
woman's washtub than by her love.
! Loaiers and buzzards have similar
characteristics: they flock together.
Watch the fellow who has lost all
shame and calls himself reformer.
Every sucker has II scheme, hence
the whole world is biting at one
another
Ifyou think you are having a good
deal of fun, you are deceiving your
self.
Some people are built on the cy.
clone principle; everything they do
is twisted.
The chances are that you will never
do any better than you have been
doing.
Every printing office that amounts
to anything pays the devil his dues
every week.
The first time woman has to pay
car fare for her child, she Jaws it
for growing so fast.
No old codger who carries lot OF
life insurance has right to live, es-
pecIally if his kin are very poor.
Don't grumble about your "lot D."
You are not ths only stick that has
gone through the buzz saw.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-02-03

slider the application now. if did ]
would refuse n pardon. He was con-
victed by "a jury, sentenced by a
judge, a new trial was asked and re-
fused; the court of appeals affirmed
the decision of the lower court, and
now he must suffer the consequences.
You will do me the kindness by not
discussing the matter longer"
The attorney gathered up his appli-
cation, tucked it in his overcOat
pocket and walked out.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-02-03
CHINESE CRUELTY.
Natives Pat in Painful TiIlorics NJ
Picking for AttncISing Foreign
Residents.

just now. when European na,ions
are all hungry fora bit of broken China.
the rulers of the Celestial kingdom are
pretty careful TO give the foreign dev-
lis" no excuse for reprisals.
They haven't forgotten how Kaiser
Wilhelm of Germany took possession
Of kiao-Chao bay. apparently because
Gerpnns had been attacked there, real
~ because he wanted II.
For ignorant subjects who so far for
got thcmselN Ives as to throw brIckbats at
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-02-03
BLAINE As ExpANsIoN1sr.


Washington Times
An aricle written by the late James
G. Blaine over thirty years ago has
recently been brought to light which
has direct bearing on the expansion
problem which is pending today 1t
demonstrates conclusively that If Mr..
Blaine were living today he would he
an enthusiastic expansionists. The
article in question was written W Mr..
Blaine for a Maine newspaper before
his reputation had been firmly estab-
lished rs statesman. In 1t be dis
cusses the Philippines and their prob
able future relations to this country.
In the light OF later Developments Mr..
Blsine's words are prophetic. lie as.
serts that the time will come when
this country will have to enlarge its
bouudries if 1t is to hold its fair share
of the.commerceo fthe world. Hawaii
and the Philippines, he says, are
within the sphere of influence of the
United States. He points out that it
will become absolutely necessary i'm
the near future for this country to
control the Philippines, which he be-
lieved to be the key to the trade of
the,Orient This paper of Mr.. Blaine's
is likely to attract considerable at
tention. 1t proves that the "plumed
king ht," even at this early day in his
carees, had vision which compre-
hended the destiny of the United
States
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-02-03
y LINCoLN'S JOKE.
His Funny Way of Fixing the Re-
spOnsibiIity for the Loss
OF HRrper's Ferry.

President Linooln's jokes, especially
when perpetrated in connection with
grave matters, usually had a purpose
in them. After Lee had taken Harper's
Ferry, the president, realizing how
great calamity il was TO the north
ern arms, determined, if possible, to
fix the responsibility for the loss of the
important position.
Halleck was summoned, but did not
quite know where the blame lay.
Very well" said Lincoln, "Ill ask
Gen. Schenck.' The latter could throw
no light upon the question further
than to say that he was not to blame.
Milroy was the next to be called to
the presence ot the commander-in-
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-02-03
THIS Is REpubLIoANisM (.

CherryVah Clarion: Kansas joint
lists DO longer have great and good
friend occupying the governors chair.
While w. f.. STANLEY is at the helm
they will have to take the medicine
prescribed to them by the local au-
thorities just as the law intends they
shall, the same as cattle thieves and
other less fragrant outlaws.
Last week an influential lawyer
from Northern Kansas appeared ut the
governors Office with an application
for pardon for "a joiniist. 1t is the
first application that has been made
for pardon since Governor stanley
took charge ofaflairs. 1t was prompt
ly denied.
~ propose to stand absolutely upon
the utterances OF my message regard
ing the enforcementot the prohibitory
law" said the governor. 81 said in
that message that / would leave the
enforcement OF the law to the people
them selves. When II person Is CON
victed by jury of twelve men and
sentenced to jail by II trial Judge, it Is
reasonably certain that he is guilty,
especially it be "a liquor case. Kan
sas juries are not APT to send an innO'
cent man to jail Tor selling liquor
This being the situation, the person
convicted must abide by the decision
of the court. / do not propose TO re-
view the acts of the courts and over
ride the will of the people by pardon
ing from Jail man whom Judge and
jerry have decided to be there"
The attorney began his plea, but
had not got very far along with his
story Of the great injustice being done
his client by keeping him in Jail until
the governor remarked that he had
made rule not TO consider single
pardon case until after the adjourn
ment of the legislature.
But his mans time will be out be-
fore then" said the attorney.
"Well, he is in great luck" replied
the governor. at will save me the
work OF considering it,"
"But Governor Leedy promised to
pardon him, providing he would quit
fighting the case and so to jail" said
the attorney.
~ am not carrying out any of my
predecessor contracts with joiutists, y
was the curt reply of the governor.
The attorney still insisted. He said
the jointist could not arrange matters
so that he could begin serving his
term while Leedy was governor, and
that Leedy said IL would not look
right to pardon "a jointist who was
not yet in jail.
Governor Stanley at last decided to
bring the incident to sudden close.
"My friend" said he, in Il good ma
tured way, "your jolntist friend will
have to stay In jail. l VIII not con-
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-02-03
THE lola REGISTER.
CHAS. E. SCOTT
ME FIGuTING RACE.

"Read out the nsmesl" and Burke sat back
And Kelly dropped his head
while Shea-they call him Scholar Jack
Went down the list of dead.
Officers, seamen, gunners, marines,
The crews of the gig and yawl
The bearded man and the lad in his teens,
Carpenters, coal passefs-all.
Then knocking the ashes from out his pipe,
Said Burke in an oiIhand way:
Were all in that dead mans list, by Grippe!
Kelly and Burke and Shear
"well, here's to the Maine, and I'm sorry for
Spain"
Said Kelly and Burke and Shea
wherever there's Kellys there's trouble, -
said Burke.
wherever ii shting's the game,
or spice OF danger IN grown mans work,
Said Kelly Noull find my name
"And do we fall short said Burke getting snad
when its touch aud go for liieF'
Said Shea MS thir odd years, bedad.
Since | charged To drum aud fife
Up Marye Heights aud my old caneen
stopped q rebel ball on its way.
There were blossoms of blood ON our sprigs OF
green
Kelly and Burke and Shea--
Aud the dead didn't brag. 'Wep, here's tc
the flag"
said Kelly and Burke and Shea
wish twas in Ireland, for there's the place,
Said Burke, that we'd die by right
In the cradle Of our soldier race.
After one good stand-up fight
NY grandfather fell on Vinegar HILL
And fighting was not his trade;
But his rusty pixies in the cabin still,
with Hessian blood on the blade
aye, aye" said Kelly, the pixies were great
When the word was Clear the way
We were thick on the roll in ety-eight,
Kelly and Burke and Shea
"well. here's to the pike and the sword and tht
like"
said Kelly and Burke and Shea.
And Shea. the scholar, with rising joy,
Said we were ut Families.
We LETT our bones at Fontenoy
And up in the Pyrenees
Before Dunkrk, on l.onden plain,
Cremona, Lille and Client
We're all over Austria. France aud Spain,
wherever they pitched n tent
We've died for England from Waterloo
To Egypt and Dargai;
And still there enough for a corps or crew
Kelly and Burke and shea"
'.well, here to good, honest fighting blood
Said Kelly and Burke and shea.
'oh. the fighting races don't die out,
If they seldom die In Ued,
FOR love is first in theft hearts. no doubt
Said Burke; then Kelly said,
"when Michael the Irish Archangel. stands,
The angel Of the sword,
ba lattta-daud frnu A hundrpd lands
Are ranged in one big horde
Our line. that for Gabriel's trumpet waits
will stretch three deep that day
From Jehosaphat to the Golden Gates
Kelly aud Burke and Shea"
well, here's thank God for the race and tn
sod"
Said Kelly and Burke and shea.
Joseph /. c. CLARK, in New York Sun.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-02-03
FIFTY-NINE YEARS OLD.


Thomas Bracket Reed, politician,
speaker of congress and writer, has just
celebrated his iifty-ninth birthday, hav-
ing been born in 1899 at Portland, Me.
Speaker Reed comes Of humble, but
irrepoachable family, and has with III
tie or no assistance assembled slowly
but surely the stepping stones of fame
until he reached the present mark.
Speaker Reed was educated at Bow
dom college Brunswick, Me. After a
long term of study he completed bis
course of law, and in 1865 began prac-
tce. During the civil war he served as
acting assistant paymaster in the west
ern river navy.
1t was in ls6S that MIR. Reeds active
political cm Ger had its beginning; in
thai year hr entered the house of rep
resontative> to act in the interest of
mis- state. aad his work was executed
The Sequence OF Events.
"The doctors had consultation yes
tcrdaN."
"What was the result?"
81 understand that the family law
ycrs are now in secret session. -
rrnaklXu Life
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-02-03

the Christians in the treaty ports, local
mGndarirs have a humorous punish
ment which is called the "cangue."
This was recently used in Picking it,
self upon a number of Chinese who let
their angry passions rise too patriotic
ally. II consists of two heavy planks
fitted together with a hole between
them just big enough for a mans neck.
Each man was tied to Il stout post
and above his head hung n big placard
in tea-chcst letters announcing that he
was exposed FOR attacking Europeans"
Thus ticlleted the prisoners remained all
day, before being removed to prison for
other punishment-which may have
been a prompt release or something a
good deal worse than the cangae, ac-
cording to the officials.
The Chinese are ingenious in cruel
penalties. The most horrible of these
is the death by thousand cuts" In
thi, case it is the object of the eXecu-
toner to show his skill by hacking the
victim as long rs possible without alb
soutely killing him.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-02-03
GRIP CAR FENDER.
The New Device Picks W Hams an"
OtAcr Things which FAN
from Wagons.

The untold and hitherto unsupported
possibilities of the street car fender as
a collector Of things various was limited
at by an occurrence on Washington
street the other day, whereby the gem
tie grpmau came out considerably
ahead of the game, reports Chicago
paper \ market wagon laden TO the
guards with sides of beef and hams and
barrels of tenderloin and other things
edible and every way pleasant to look
upon even In their raw and unwashed
condition was occupying the track in
front OF Madison street cable train.
The gripman sounded the gong Justify
and the driver of the meat wagon at
tempted to pull out Of the track to
make way. But the grip was TOO close
for comfort and it grazed the wagon,
Earring the load and splitting half a
dozen hams on the ground.
The driver pulled up his horse hastily
when he had cleared the track and
jumped Oft to gather The precious prod
uce from the street. hut two OF the
hams fell within the tracks and We're
promptly scooped up by he fender,
The gripman threw his weight on the
lever and the train shot along toward
the west with the hams reposing safely
on the steel carrier, probably TO enrich
the larder Of The gripman, Now, II
some one would drop an occasional
overcoat or u barrel Of flour now and
then in front of a cable ear the life of
the Tripmau would he unc1Ong. purple
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-02-03
CANINE MAID OF HONOR.
PRODUCED some startling
Novelties.

Here is Il story of II Baltimore mar
riage which simply overturned poPu-
lar traditions and set all Baltimore in
conversation. The benedict says the
Chicago Chronicle. was Francis u.
Stevens. ,lr.. Of Ilobokeu. y. j., while
Miss Adele Horwitz played the Beatrice
Of the startling occasion.
There was neither maid of honor nor
bridesmaid. but the bride entered the
drawing-room accompanied 10y her pet
foN terrier. Jock. around whose collar
were eutwined orange blossoms. from
which strcamers Of white ribbon flowed.
During the ceremony Jock. after view
ing the guests. sat upon the floor at the
feet of his mistress. Mr.. and Mrs.
Ben jamin f. Ilorwitz gave their daugh-
ter diamond clasps for her slippers.
and her gown was so arranged that
these corrections of white liberty vel
vet and their ieweIed fastenings could
be seen by the guests.
After the wedding the friends OF Mrs.
Stevens paid her back in her own coin
| for the many practical jokes which she
had been wont to play upon the so
ciety people of her native city, The
carriage which conveyed the bridal
party to the station was decorated
/ with various wedding articles and Gre
ated sensation as it drove through the
streets OF baltimore. Long streamers
of white ribbon were tied at every pos
sible point of vantage and placards an
rouncing that the occupants were
bride and bridegroom were attached
| IN the sides and rear
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-02-03
War SIN on.

I'D like to know what you would
ever have been il hadn't married YOU
John Henry?
81 should probably have been the I'M
happicst man ON earth
If he had stopped there all might
have been well. but he went on:
people never know when they are
well or"
After which there was nothing TO
dc but to go on with the quarrel
cago Tribune.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-02-03
mo scnlrnce or.vents.
\ snd AwnkcnIng.

"You shall he rich and famous" SAID
the fortune teller,
"Aus," cried the sitter "Then ! am
undouc. For my dream was TO devote
my life 10 art, Philadelphia North
American.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-02-03

My own heart Is my oracle,
The priest am !. who come
To listen to its lightest word.
To wait, II II be ddmb.
But when learn and then am slow
To turn that word 10 deed.
Be patient. heart, nor cease TO speak
~" ~. e.-.s.-.h - Nod
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1899-05-02

Charley Schroyer, of Sheridan dis
trict and w. NJ. Funk. of Washing
ton district, made us glad SATURDAY..
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1899-05-02

As per previous arrangements, a
council heretofore invited, by the
Bethlehem Baptist church, met here
last Saturday. Upon roll call u
quorum was + ind to he present. To
this number all ordained ministers
and deacons were invited to SIT la
council. Rev NJ. b. Stump was
made chairman Of the council and
after putting some new points to par.
Iamentary law (by actions the exam
nation began by Rev. Taylor deiin-
ing his call u the ministry. I'm ans
wer to many subsequent questions,
he showed himself +" he in perfect
harmony with the fundamental doc
lrinss of the Bible and in accord with
The beliefs and practices of the Bao.
lists. We would like to give a com
plete report hut space furbids. The
council recommended his ordination
and II was So ordered.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1899-05-02
EDEN HAPS.

Farmers are preparing for large
crops.
Miss Lucy Reip, who has been Wis
iting on Sycamore for some time, re-
turned home Friday.
Mrs. VIM. Knots, who has been
quite i'll for some time, is improv-
ing.
{. III. Knots and Il. J. Yoak.
two of The bright and intelligent
young men of tins place, started for
the West last Sunday.
Miss Flora Rollins was visiting
Miss Fannie Sialnaher Sunddy.
L. \. W.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1899-05-02
Rheumatism Cured.

Ny wife has used Chamberlain.
Pain Balm for rheumatism with great
relief, and ] can recommend L as a
splendid lniment for rheumatism and
other household use for which we
have found it valuable. w. J. Cuy.
Ter, Red Creek, n. Y.
Mr. Cuyler is one Of the leadirp
merchants Of this village and one Of
the most proslincnt men in this vicin.
ivy. G.. Phippin, Editor Red
Creek Herald. For sale bv Dive
Pharmacy.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1899-05-02

See Swen;zel fine line of shirts; ties,
ami gents furnishing goods. Strickly
uF-to-date in everything.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1899-05-02

| have been a sufferer from chronic
diarrhoea ever since the war and have
used all kinds of medicines tor il. At
last ] found one remedy that has been
success as cure, and that is "ham.
berlain's Collie, Cholera and Diar.
rhoea Remedy.-P. f. GRESHAM.
Gaars Mills, La. For sale by DYE
Pharmacy.