The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-04-02

| Uncle Sam:
Letters addressed to the following
persons remain uncalled for in the Ca
| wife poStoffice:
| General AgoStino.
Senior Armadillo y De La Plata
| Admiral Montijo.
Ramon Huanaciilo de Aguinaldo
John Smith
| The Filipinos have a national drink
that is liquid terror. 1t tastes like
| combination of red pepper and gaso-
| line, and makes man see more queer
things than microscope can discover
| in Chicago river water In describing
the effects of this awful drink a Min
nesota corporal said: ut gives a man
| the jaggledest jag that ever came down
| the pike. There is a Boston chap in
our company who filled up on the stuff.
| Next day he was asked how he felt.
l feel he said, as if had been drawn
through the Back bay mopped over the
Common and dropped from Bunker
| Hill monument
The average Filipino is a child of
| simple habits and complex appetite.
| We were much impressed by the eX-
IRENE defiance of the laws of cleanli-
ness exhibited by an untutored native
few days ago, and in the goodness
OF our heart we handed him a cake of
| choice soap. At the same time, in elo-
| quent pantomime, we initiated the mo-
tions of a man enjoying much-needed
scrub. He shook his head knowingly,
smiled broadly and went his way
Pretty soon he came back.
With one hand he gleefully rubbed
his protuberant stomach. The other
hand was outstretched with the palm
| uppermost.
He had eaten the soap and wanted
more.
Allabimballaboo, a Malay from Iloilo,
who has been employed in the street
| cleaning department, was taken with a
sudden desire to run amuck yesterday
morning. He was promptly hauled off
to Jail in a garbage cart.
9 g g
While crossing the big bridge yester-
! day afternoon a Manila belle had the
misfortune to lose her hat, a playful
gust of wind snatching it from her
head and whirling it over the rail to
the water below. A gallant member of
the L TAN battery Immediately leaped
into the water, and, selling the hat
rapidly swan ashore with it. to the in
terse delight of crowd of spectators.
Always take a. wineglass of Boyles
Stomach Bitters after sudden exposure
Ia cold and wet. For sale at all drug
gists.
Sergeant Bollinger of the First Cali
foInia hooked q seventeen-fool shark
in the bay last Sunday. As usual il 20;
away. This is evidently the fourteen
foot shark that Corporal Rattlser Of
the Tenth Pennsylvania hooked OF
Tuesday. The extra. three feet can be
accounted for by the fact that Boil
Enger is a jealous eXpansion!st.
o @ @
Things seem a little slow in this an
Gent Spanish town. The Cavite street
boys are whistling Comrades" ana
Sweet Marie and a few of them have
just commenced on the Banks of the
Wabash" There is no telling when
"a Hot Time in the Old Town will gel
here.
The Utah battery has anew mascot.
It's monkey, and Private Sharp says
it already knows enough to be a cap
tain general.
The Independent Sons of the Orient,
Cord and Creese chapter, will meet
every Friday evening in the Malay
block, over Chinganorians opium joint
@ @ @
Dress parade this afternoon at 9. &C
out and see the boys when they arc
slicked up.
Bob Callemont, the famous walking
delegate, arrived by the last steamer
from Frisco.
Pasig river water needs boiling.
81 @ 8
Tuna. gets full on the 23d.