davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-12-08
Grim Jokes.

trim JOKES.
Sing Sing convicts publish a paper,
The Star ofHope, aud here are some
of their jokes:
Like little Willie-we want to 60
home.
First Kid-Why does Tommy Nc
GulIin hold his head up SO high?
Second Kid-Ah. He's dead stuck
on hisself ever since his brudder
volts doing ten-spot fer sand baggin,
got made sassiety editor OF the PRISON
paper up the state.
A clergyman visited the prison one
sabbath and the chapel was crowded
to hear him preach. He opened up
by saying: 81 am deligr ted to see so
many of you here this morning.
They made him look like Keely motor
stock from the start.
TO Exchange-The advertiser will
be glad to exchange banjo, a mouth
organ, pair of blankets, forty'seven
Moody and Sankey tracts and three
prize sermons by Talmsge for a jack
screw, "a three-cornered file and thirty
feet of rope. Address Dissatisfied
Dick, Clinton T.
Com would like to be excused
from having my hair cut this moHth.
Deputy-How long have you got to
do yet?
Con-Five years. But you see |
write poems for the prison paper and
all poets wear long hair, and -
shall what transpired be men,
toned? Nay. The poor bards have
even been prosecuted
TO Exchanged person owning life
interest in small but comfortable
furnished apartment in well lighted
well ventilated stone building, will
exchange the same for blanket, o
yellow dog and cave in the side of 8
hill situated in any desert country OF
the face of the globe. Address Life
Larry, Clinton =,
Sambo (s'n,enced for five ,yeare)-
"What am the sweetest thing on
earth?"
'LJah (life)-"Fo' sure, chile, honey
am dere sweetest thing"
Sambo--"No; 'Liiah, guess again. ,
'LUah--"W Well, what am der sweet
est thing on earth?"
SsmbO-"Liberly."
'LUdh-I cannot say about that.
never tasted that
Wanted-A situation as band q
choirmas,er, by competent professor
commanding repertoire of classI'
and opera music. Address Musiea
Director of College OF ethical Culture
Sing Sing.
Good business opportunity
party having years stOne.cuttinG
contract with the State wishes to re-
linquish it. Any person may hav,
the same if he can make the prope
arrangement with the Governor
The contract includes free board
grand music by string and bras
bands, expert medical attendant,
and spiritual care. Must be investi
gated TO he appreciated. Address
Good Thing George" Clinton +.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-12-08
There is a Glass of People

Who are injured by the use of coffee.
Recently there has been placed in all
the grocery stores a new preparation
called Grain-O, made of pure grains
that takes the place of coffee. The
most delicate. stomach receives 1t
without distress, aud but few can
tell 1t from coffee. 1t does not cost
over / as much, Children may drink
1t with great benefit. 15cts and %
cts per package. Try 1t. Ask for
Grain-O. .
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-12-08
Beware of 0intmouts tor Catarrh that
contain Mercury.

AS mercury will surely destroy the
sense of smell and com letely derange
she whole system when entering IL
through the mucous surfaces. Such
articles should never be used except
ON prescriptions Eom reputable phys.
icians, as the damage they will do Is
len.fold to the good you can possibly
derive from thena. Halls Catarrh
Cure, manufactured by #. J. Cheney
n Co Toledo, o., contains no mercu-
ny, and Is taken Internally, acting di-
reetly upon the blood and mucous sur
faces of the system. In buying HALLS
Catarrh Cure be sure you get The gen
uine. 1t is taken internally, and
made in Toledo, Ohio, by # j Cheney
a Go. Testimonials free. Sold by
Druggists, price 75c. per bottle, Halls
Family Pills are the best.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-12-08
Statement of publIo Debt,

Washington, Dec, 2.-The treasury
statement of the public debt issued yes
terday show that at the close of bust
ness November 80, 1899, the debt, less
cash in the treasury, amounted to ST.,
14O, 09l, s3l, decrease for the month OF
o., 537, 76O.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-12-08
(Flrst published Dec. 1, ls9s.l
Notice of APPOINTMENT.

Notice is hereby given that on the 9th day
Of November A d, 1899, the undersigned was
by the Probate Court OF Allen county, Kansas
duly appointed and qualified as Administrative
Of the estate OF Solomon L. Edwards, late OF
Allen county, deceased. All parties interested
In said estate will take notice and govern
themselves accordingly.
MARGARET A. EDWARDS, Administrative.
Campbell & Porter Attorneys.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-12-08
tFlrst published Nov. "a, 1897
Notice of Publication-Ex
ecutriX.
STATE OF KANSAS, / q,

STATE OF kAEsAst I =.
ALLEN COUNTY
In the matter OF the estate of Edward r
Mabie, late Of Allen county, Kansas.
Notice Is hereby given that on the l4th day
November A, d. 1892 the undersigned wal
by the Probate Court OF Allen county, Kansas
duly appointed aud qualified as executrix OF
the estate Of Edward r. Mabie. late OF Allen
county, deceased, All parties interested In
lelYes accordingly.
CLARA M. MAIZE, Executrix.
The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-12-08
Web,ter DnvI. 10 do 10 AtrIc.

Washington, Dec, ,. y-Assistant Sec
rotary Webster Davis, of the interior
department, will sail from New York
next Tuesday for Cape Town, South
Africa He expects to be gone at least
three months. 1t is his intention to
see something OF the Boer war.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1899-11-11
Sailors Superstitions.

Pets are believed to bring good
luck, and when, in the recent war with
Spain. a man was struck and killed by
bursting shell on the Texas, all the
sailors in the feet said it was because
the battleship was without mascot.
The cat has had reputation among
seafaring men, most of whom believe
that she brings ill-luck to a ship. If q
cat falls overheard and is drowned
(she is always rescued if POSSIBILITY,
the men will often leave at the next
port, believing the ship to be doomed
and I have heard memo war s-men
cite the case of the old Kearsarge as
proof thereof.
On her last voyage the frigate ar
ried cat and a monkey. A violent
feud existed between them, and on
their way north, one dark and sto rmy
night, Jocko threw poor Tom over
board, running along the rail. an |
clattering like fiend as the unfortu-
nate pet disappeared in the boiling
waves. The seas were running too
high to admit of launching a boat, and
puss was left to watery grave, but
not without many gloomy forebodings,
which were realized soon afrerward,
when the Kearsarge stranded on the
fatal reef.
To fall down without any apparent
cause is a warning of death in the i'm
mediate future. An American cruiser
was lying off Nice few years ago,
when seaman fell prone on the deck
Upon rising he went to his bunk, andj
returning, placed slip of paper bear
ing his mothers address in the hands
Of a messmate, saying he did not ex-
pect to see home again.-Self Culture.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1899-11-11
WANTED,
Origin Of the Wedding Ring.

According TO legend, Jupiter sent to
Prometheus in honor of his deliver
ance by Hercules ring in which was
set piece Of the stone to which
Prometheus had formerly been bound
in chains.
In northern mythology the ring
symbolizes the bridge from this world
to the next, or according to another
idea, the rainbow symbol of eternity.
Hence it is plain that from most an
cient times the ring was the symbol
o. remembrance and ttr nal recolec
ton. Since tue earliest days of
Christianity the ring has been pre-
cious pledge of faithfulness, the tails
man of two souls forming a sacred life
union.
The custom OF wearing the wedding
ring on the fourth finger of the left
hand goes back for its origin to the
Egyptians, from whom the Greeks
borrowed the custom and handed it
on to the Romans. The fourth finger
was dedicated to Apollo, the sun god
and gold was au additional symbol of
the suu. Besides, it was believed that
Apollo's finger was connected by a
nerve directly with the heart, and it
was most appropriate that the sign OF
loving union should rest on this fin.
ger.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1899-11-11

Workmen terracing King Hill, all
old landmark OF northwestern Mis-.
souri,, which is to be converted into a
residence suburb of st. Joseph, have
unidentified prehistoric cemetery,
The remains of race of dwarfs, not
allied with any tribe known to have
inhabited this territory and unac-
counted for by Indian legendary, re-
pose on the summit of King Hill. A
feature remarkable in itself and es.
pecially marked in connection with
dwarfsh remnants of prehistoric man
found in this summit is the discovery
of human bones, evidently those of II
giant, probably more than seven feet
tall, and big boned.
Low, flat head, with small intelli-
gence and ma Ike animal pro- ensities,
characterized this peop'e. Heavy jaws
and strong, welpre. efved teeth carry
the records of their lives forward.
Brutes, human but inhumsne, self
reliant, they were savages of lower
oder than any we know today. Yet
they honored their dead. Shells such
as are found on the banks of many iu-
land streams, plentiful on the sand
bars of the Missouri, overlooked by
King Hill, and stones of unusual hrea,
worthless in the commercial marts of
today, the playthings of children,
were deposited in the graves. Cor
re'pondence Chicago Record.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1899-11-11
How Mrs. Pinkham
HELPFn, MRS. GOODEN.
[LrrrER TO MRS. plSkuAM NO. 1881

[Lr1rER TO MRS. PIskuAM NO. Is,7s,l
81 am very grateful to you for your
kindness and the interest you have
taken in me. and truly believe your
medicines and advice are worth moro
to a woman than all the doctors in the
world. For years had female troubles
and did nothing for them. OF course
became no better and finally broke
down entirely. My troubles began
with inflammation and hemorrhages
from the kidneys. then Inflammation,
congestion and falling of the womb
and Inflammation of ovaries.
II underwent local treatment every
day for some time: then after nearly
two months the doctor gave me permits
sion to go back to work went back,
but in less than week was com.
PEELED to give up and go to bed. On
breaking down the second time, de-
cided to let doctors and their medicine
alone and try your remedies. Before
the first bottle was gone felt the eff
fects Of it. Three bottles of Lydia T..
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound and .
package Of her Sanative Wash did me
moro good than all the doctors treat
ments and medicine.
"The first remark that grects mo
now is How much better You look. and
you may be sure MAYER hesitate to tell
the cause of my health. '-MRs. +. ].
GooDEN, AcKLEY, IA.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1899-11-11

Many man Is censured as sci fish
husband when he is really hardly re-
sponsible for his fault. There are
women so constituted that they spoil
every living thing within their prov,
ince by o,er.indulgence. One OF this
type SO overwhelms her husband by
kindness that he accepts Ii 8 role as a
matter of course. Whereas, before
marriage Edwin waitel upon Angel
ina, anticipating her wishes with lover
like rapidity, she now waits upon her
self, and in little while the positions
are totally reversed, and Angelina
waits on Edwin. Complete sslf-ef
facement marks her status. The dam
test morsel of the joint, tive choicest
fruit, tho most comfortable chair and
the choicest corner Of the room, each
is allotted to the spoiled husband, who
accepts all. He allows her to- fetch
and carry for him as he would dog,
often without word of thanks equiva
lent to the pat bestowed on tho dumb
animal. Truly spoiled husband
this, and spoiled disposition in
consequence, which exerts potent in
huence on those with whom it is
brought into contact durins the rou-
tine Of daily life. This might have
been otherwise hal q little common
sense and self restraint on tho part of
Angelina led her to exact her due
share Of respect aud devotion from
Edwin. -Waverly Magazine.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1899-11-11

Porto kiclns Becoming Americans.
BY command of the COVE nor gen.
eral of the island, the teaching of
English in the public schools of Porto
Rico is now compulsory; but long be
fore any order was issued upon the
subject a majority of the school teach
ers had introduced the study of the
language upon their individual ac-
count, sometimes even paying an
English instructor out of their own
slender salaries. This patriotic effort,
however, may have been intended to
curry favor with the new powers that
be.
The ceremony of saluting the flag
at the opening of the daily exc cises
of the school, and the singing Of
"America" or of the "Star- spangled
Banner" standing, is universal. AS
might have been expected in country
where only Is or 20 per cent of the
inhabitants are able to read or write,
there are found in every school chill
dren of all ages and sizes and colors
white, brown and black.
Within few years the younger
generation of Porto Rico will speak
English. Already the extent Of their
English vocabulary is surprising
And in this respect the street arabs,
due to their personal contact with the
American soldiers, are far in advance
of their compeers. The bootblack
calls "Shine" as in the United States,
and the newsboy is no less vociferous
and persistent in crying in English
the name of the daily he sells. "No
good" as a condemnatory expletive,
has fairly been adopted into the Porto
Rican Spanish, as has call right, with
an opposite significance. Henry
Rowan Lemley in Leslie's Weekly
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1899-11-11
Old Roman KOnd EOlin,1.

An important archaeological discov-
cry has been made near Naples, Italy.
While laborers were at work clearing
out u part of swamp near the Botta-
no canal, in the Bascoreale district,
they suddenly came upon Ell old stree!
in an excellent state of preservation.
Continuing their excavations they
found a quantity of finely decorated
architectural fragments, and near the
entrance to gate, i'll various atti-
tudes of fight, no less than eleven
well-prescrved bodies, together with a
casktt containing silver money and a
gold aecklace.
Further work was almost impossible
owing to the wetness of the earth.
The street exposed to view is believed
to be 1he one which led to the patri-
clan villa discovered some time ago in
the nDar neighborhood, where the
famous treasure was unearthed, part
of which was bought by the Roths-
child family for half million, and
presented to the museum OF the
Louvre ut Palis.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1899-11-11
The American Girl.

The American girl has flourished
and multiplied, and inherits q very
large portion of the earth. The
Youths Companion reports n new in
stance of her apparent ubiquity
When Mr.. Conger first went as min.
lister to Rio de Janeiro he called upon
the Brazilian min ister to the United
States, then at home upon visit As
his guest arose to go, the Brazilian
minister said:
'Now, want you to meet my wife. I"
Mr.. Conger prepared to meet o
stately Brazilian dame and began to
furnish up his small stock of CONVEX
setlonal Portuguese.
Madame Mendo. was stately lady,
but the first thing she said .was:
care you Ed Conger?"
eyes, madam"
''Don't you remember I was at n
wedding with vou in Ga'esburg, ILL
nois, when | was girl?"
The Ameri an girl is everywhere
now.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1899-11-11

| hNl my eye on tree about three
hlndved yards away. an we was
maxim fur il right lively when Model
Mike threw up his hands an fell all
in II heap.
Then | halted EN- again an we
dropped into til tall grass fur protec.
| ton. Mike wasn't dead yet, an be-
fore he cashed in he said he knew
where that shot come from. 1t was
tn sametree Id spotted, an so give
orders t charge it an pump lead into
tn top of it from tn word go.
1--WE charged an fired an three
fellers come tumblin' down ont of it.
One of 'em wasn't dead, an rs we
come runnin' up, he sort o. half set
up and pointed to his mouth, sayin';
'Agwa, agwa; meaning water, y'u
know.
I'm give y'u agwa, says Solly
Smith (Shorty's brother), iumpin'
ahead. 'l'ure one of the dirty
greasers that killed Shorty
can with that he bats him over tn
dead with tn butt of his gun. Jest
then there was shot from the tree
an Solly dropped, bein' shot through
tn head from tn top down.
Owe got that Teller O. tn tree
mighty quick and then I took sort
of inventory. They was jest six left
besides me. Three shot in tn adj
vance, two in tn charge an one under
the tree.
"We'd got four greasers, so we was
still couple shy on our order l reck
oned we'd be able t. git them all
right, an ordered another advance.
"When We started Young Slocum
he begun blubberin'. sayin' he'd be
tn next one to git it, an somethin'
about girl, an lot of such bosh.
told him he would be next sure
enoughif he didn't shut up, rs Idplapt
him right there myself. But 'twan't
necessary, sir, fur he dropped fore
L fairly hal tn words out O. my
mouth.
81 lost tho other five gittin' tn
next greaser, an that left me t. hunt
tn last one alone. We seen each
other about tn same time. He jest
missed me an that's how I come t
git him.
CATER that lay in the grass till
dark an then come back to report"
"Griff," said the captain, rising
slowly, "take your detail, mark all
the graves as plainly as possible and
then go to the hospital"
every well, SIR" aud Corporal
Griff saluted as he disappeared in the
darkness.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1899-11-11
EAcIS ABOUT NATAl.
Hnw til" Beers Were Forced From the
COLONY.


iInw III" Beers We're Forced From the
Colony.
The territory forming the Brit
ish colony Of Natal, on the east coast
of South Africa, was discovered by
Nusco de CANA on Christmas day,
1897.
About two centuries later the Dutch,
who wore established at the Cape, by
n pur, base from native chief addel
the port of Natal to their South Africa
possessions. Comparati, ely few Dutch
settled in the new colony, however,
and carly in the present century the
English were attracted to II. They
held their own with difficulty among
the sava re tri es that roamed through
the country. and many of them lost
their lives. They male common cause
with thU Dutch against the savage foe,
and for time the utmost harmony
existed between the two European
races.
In 1897, however, Captain Allen
Gardner Visited Chief Dingaan, leader
of all the Zulu tribes, and concluded
treaty of peace on behalf OF the
British settlers. Then the English
laid out the town of Durham. Eng
lish immigrants began to arrive in
greater numbers as the industrial at
fractions of the colony became known.
The Dutch settlers took oiense at the
arrival of 80 many British, and began
an emigration from the colony into the
interior.
The "Boor trek" letam route OF
carnage, for the fierce Xnlus swOoped
doyn upon the Beer emigrants and
slaughtered men, women AID children
indiscrimina ely.
The area 0 Natal is 90 400 square
miles. Its population in 1891 was
So, 57G persons. OF these the Euro,
peans or whites numbered ~, 759.
The governor is assisted by legisla-
ture consisting of two chambers Il
Legislative council composed of eleven
members, nominated by the governor,
and Legislative assembly OF thirty
seven members, chosen by the electors
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1899-11-11
A RIVER OF DEATH.
The Yellow River of China and Its A
Mailing Record.

The Yellow River of China aud Its Ap.
pallins Record.
The Yellow River in China is at
once the scourge and the blessing OF
the deusely populated country through
which it flows. For centuries it's in.
nndations, more or less severe, but
invariably disastrous, have been Of
periodical occurrence, and every effort
to prevent them has been unsuccess-
full. The river brings down with it
from the mountains where it has its
rise IN enormous quantity OF clayish
soil, from whose appearance it derives
Its name. This soil is held in suspen-
sion in the upper reaches of the stream,
where al extraordinarily swift current
impedes sedimentation, but when the
river reaches the lower level of the
valley and the rapidty of it's descent
is checked tho soil carried in suspen-
sion sinks to the bottom.
That is an ordinary process, but in
the case of the Yoang- Ho, or Yellow
River, it is made extraordinary by the
enormous volume of tho subsistence.
1t goes on so rapidly aud the current
is so slow that the bed OF the river is
constantly filling up, and to prevent
the water from spreading over the val.
ley in shallow lake it has been nee.
cssary to construct, and is essential
to maintain, an immense system of
artificial cmbankments. AS the river
rises the height of these entertainments
is increased, and at many places along
its course the surface of the river is
high above the level OF the surround
ing country. Under such conditions
the recurrence of destructive inunla.
tions is inevitable. The embank.
ments are supposed to he under con-
slant surveillance, and any weakness
that may develop is Immediately re-
paired; but Chinese science and Chi
nese numbers are unable to resist the
mighty pressure of the swollen river
in times of food. A break takes place
in the protecting wall, through which
the waters pour; sections of the en-
bankment are swept away, and pretty
soon the adjacent country has been
converted into lake.
These recurrent visitations are en-
dured by the Chinese with character
istic resignation. i few years ago a
flood occurred from which it was est.
mated that 5000, 900 people lost their
lives. Yet the Chinese no more think
OF deserving the scene of these repeat
ed disasters than the Egyptians think
OF leaving the valley of the Nile. They
know the danger that they run, but
the fertility of the soil thus inordin-
ately watered draws them to the local
ity with an irresistible attraction: If
Western energy and skill could con.
troll the Yellow River the blessing to
the Chinese people would be immeas.
urable.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1899-11-11
Preparing whaIebone for the Marke

Preparing WhaIsbone for the Market.
Whllebo1e is landed in San Fran.
cisco and shippe eastward to be dis
tributed at the various centres. Be-
fore leaving the Pacific coast the bone
is split, sorted according to color aud
tied up in bundles; after splitting the
pieces are termed "stalks' or"slabs.
are from three to twelve feet in length
when ready for shipment, and weigh
from five to twenty-five pounds each.
When eceived by the manufacturer
each slab is fringed with strong, glossy
black hair; this has separate value
of its own, and is used for certain fur
niture manufactures and is also mixed
with horse hair in brushes. On the
hair being removed the slabs are
scrubbed vigorously and then put to
soak in water for about week; when
sufficiently softened they are subjected
to the action of steam in strong recep-
tacles of special design, being thus
ready to be split into "shell" or
''grain" bone, and finally cut into
stays, whipsto,ks, etc.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1899-11-11
PrraIdpnt Diaz ut Duck Shouting.

Senior Rnb.o be ,a~le minister of the
interior under Pres dent Diaz. The
latter is pa,sionat0ly fond OF duck
hunting. Rub.o is not. but he was
persuaded to JON he president Oh an
expedition. While on the lake one day
Diaz saw a number of ducks rise oil
the opposite side anl begin flying
toward him. He took position in the
bow of the boat ami the boatman lad-
pied slowly toward the bank. Just as
Diaz raised his gun to fire the boat
struck bottom, and the president sat
down in the mud. Without noticing the
interruption, he let go both barrels
and brought down two ducks. Then
he quietly turned to Rubio and said;
~ wonder ii the president of the
United States colll beat that?"--
Chicago Times Herald.