The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1899-10-15
MERCURY IN WASHINGTON
Historical Relics and others who Serve as
Messengers In the Departments.

WASHINGTON, Oct lA--"u a Government
clerk has spark Of humor in his makeup there
Is always 10 be found plenty Of material upon
which that sense OF humor may feed In the daily
dongs Of official life" said q woman who Is earn
ing modest salary in public life. "Of course
am bound TO believe from what sec that a GER
tain number Of years in the service will grind
down the fun in one TO exceeding small proper
tons, but when fresh at the routine as am there
Is much that is interestingly, grotesquely
and sometimes even pathetcally funny, that
it rather interferes with work
Introduction TO your chief, instruction in your
new duties and the terrifying memories OF a re-
Gently passed examination TO get your little Job
are 80 awful to the green clerk, especially Of tho
feminine persuasion. that she can't get her bear
ings for day or two. at least didn't After
two days was able TO sit up and take notice and
the first people who interested me were the mes
sengers In the Office which has the honor of
harboring my genius, there are two messengers
10 a floor and we have four floors: then there are
several who wander about not that they are need
ed messengers, but because some Congress
man Just had 10 put man in somewhere. 1t
Is matter Of some wonder by the way, that
while women are placed in about every other
branch Of Government service, they are not used
as messengers; probably because If one ever held
the place, the whole force of Government clerks.
and IT. $ large force would rebel against having
man messengers again.
The snail.like procivties OF the average dis
trict messenger boy, fully duplicated in the
Government messengers. Most of them in our
particular office from the South and they
entirely bear out the old. old saying we never
in hurry in the South Some messengers ire
historical relics and hold their places on the merit
OF the people with whom they have been mixed
up There is one on our first floor for instance,
Of great dignity Of mien, and regular Father
,f Mn ehRlCa INN. haHa han
first he was messenger President Lincoln called
at the Office in his usual democratic way, for some
important paper which he wished to look over The
messenger didn't recognize the President, and
wouldn't allow him ~ hunt up what he had come
to as neE ~, ST mot s
He good naturedy offered To- get the paper how
ever at least TO seek for It, il the stranger would
mind the door while he did 50 Mr. Lincoln smil-
ingly agreed 10 this and played messenger in the
old chair at tho old table in the old building until
some one discovered his identity. The memory Of
now bent and old who has never been put aside
by the Government. As his special aide he has
n young fellow OF twenty or so, whose great aim
in life is TO give an exact copy Of the walk and
talk Of a Bowery tough but whose choice yocabu.
companion who lives altogether in the past and
who isn't up-to-date in slang or anything else,
for that matter
ON the second floor we scramble along with
the service OF one who is an old soldier, and who
fully earns the pension Of which he is in receipt
by the amount Of rheumatism he eternally aries
about in a game leg. His salary he certainly
does not earn by the amount OF ground covered
him TO a pension intcricres 10 a painful extent
with his CELEBRITY as a winged Mercury. His com.
panion messenger is man Of middle life and
that is where tho wonder grows Tint he should
have reached middle life without having
been run down by something, because everything
and everybody always ovcrtake him He has
lived through the Eruption IT bicycles. but the
clerks now feel that an automobile will finally end
he has TO come back 10 his own floor at least three
times 10 find out what he was sent for The carry
power Of his memory is as feeble as that Of his
legs; The only moment Of the day in which be
displays any interest in life is when the official
miIkman btmgsS lin h his dsily h%ii pint Of
bodyesp takes it away from the milEman
The third floor rcvcls in the services of a good
old darkcy whose WOO is turning white with age
and Government worries, but who is AN ever pres
ent help in time of trouble and well spring Of
10y To the clerks who are his especial favorites
He can make trcnchant remarks on occasion too.
Some time ago our branch Of the service had n
new head who had some ideas that things might
BE- run more briskly and upset traditions and
The new head thought fairly well Of himself and
was law unto himself, but the dusky messenger
remarked in confidence TO a friend. Nevah mind.
he thinks he's Gawd a mighty, but he'll fin out
one o desc day, he amt even in de arch angel
class Then there is a really good messenger
braccd with him who literally does the running
for all tho hoor who Is young and ambitious and
trying To work up to a clerkship. but whose swift
his melancholy and detected cast Of countcnance,
as TO make him something Of raricature.
On tne iOurln moor. Wnere a gOou many OF INC
women CLERKS are located, sunshine is dill used in
the darkest inside room by the benign Counte,l-
ancc Of the y Ter o. the two messengers. He is a
Sou,herner OF portly person and unctuous con
versation. TO quote him he lust lives 10 wait
upon the ladies' But his idea Of service is to
stand around and smile and ask the other mes
sauger whom he always calls brother with
Wegg like payfuness to do whatever is needed.
These arc the broken reeds upon which one tries
to lean on first entering Office; after getting in
harness you do not call upon a messenger to do
anything; you get up and get what is wanted
yourself"