Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-01-01
Erie IaedicaI Co., Buffalo. NY.

with buckshot q Judge its ingredients
from its weight and power TO produce IN
digestion.
Mrs susannah Slmpkins speech ac-
knowedging the receipt OF the COMES
recalled 10 my mind the oratory OF
Patrick Henry in St Johns church, and
my coDsort's response on receiving d
now der-puff for her bureau was sug-
gestive OF the eloquence Of a politician
i'm accepting public office. Then there
was more frlft-cake and jelly-suli
heavier fruit-cake. and jelly that was an
open friend of doctors 3nd und -rtaKers'
Miss Amanda Barnes ~axed eioq"ei'
over her cake of sweet soap, and the
generous donor thereof did likewise
when she in turn became the recipient
of a handsome nutmeg Crater. Then
there was a third nstalment OF frnt-cake
and still more Jelly was forced upon US
Mrs Mueeins delivered the speech OF
thanks for the celluloid rattier on pehaii
of little Tootsle and paid up WIN
booklet containing Scriptural verses anu
Christrnoa GOOD wishes. | shall read the
hook II have to resign my position. THIS
1itt1e occasion was also graced by mucn
fruitcake. now as heavy as QUICKSILVER
and a liberal allowance of jelly. but 10
make a long story short / VIII epitomize
by saying that Mrs. Jones, Salhe SLOW
enm Mrs Plowmuch. Miss Solitude
Primrose. Mrs. Tutwiler. and the happy
parent of the Higgins triplets all dis
PLAYED considerable oratorical powers In
expressing their eternal and everlasting
gratitude for the donations we brought,
and IN addition they relieved their sense
of obligation by making gifts in their
turn In addition TO the Indispensable
presents mentioned above, we also pro-
cured q fancy paper-cutter, tin tray,
butter-knife and new feather duster
to say nothing Of more fruit cake.
II has always made me hate humanity
when thought how free people are with
their food on the great holiday, and now
stingy they are with II on other occa-
sions, when our larder is low. They al
most get down on their knees 70 you If
YOU decline to eat with them Christmas.
but you lick your chops at other times
in vain. And the worst part about it all
is that Christmas i'm the one day in the
3G5 when food is absolutely odious to you.
You wake up In the early morning-or
rather you are walked up by the children
against your will-with fixed adherence
for anything in the way of dessert or rich
diet. and yet you are stuffed with it from
early morn till dewy eye. II people would
only let you take home the stuff you de-
cline it would supply you for weeks. When
hospitality is offered, you struggle with
conflicting emotions. You hate TO leave
what you know you could never have on
ordinary occasions, and yet. on the other
hand, fruit cake and turkey and jelly
begin 20 get monstrously ponderous after
you have taken a few nibbles at IL.
BY nightfall you are weary and worn
and grabbed, and long to go back TO
work ana to spank your peevish children,
who like you. seem to think the world
will never be bright again. But. after all.
/ don't wish to force my views on any
one else, and If the people whose food J
declined will kindly send IL around at
any time between now and next Christ
mas l think We will know what to do
with H.