The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1899-07-02
Mr.. EPIzOOT WILKINS.

0eAH E<Oo1ne0 Ot the Hruot8s
APPLEJAcK FARM, WITCH IL NEXT To GROVER
CLEvELAND's, IN THE sTAlT wv Moo GER
SIT.
tn the Editu,:
Ihev bin Influenced tu temporarily re-
soom domestick rtlashuns with mi family
here bi the infernfashun sent tn me vile l
wuz AVA thet Mariar. the cumpanyun NV
mi better dazc, wuz gittin her mind In
famed on account NV mi prolonged alb
sence frum home and wuz threatenin tn
git divorce on the ground thct he'd de-
serted her. So fer ez her wurk wuz con-
serned, don't suppose it wood hev made
much difference tn her, fer I am able tn
endoor a good deel NV repose and am op-
posed on general prinsiples tn a mans
robbin his wife NV her rite tu laber. Jest
at this time, however, wen mi name WIZ
bein heraldid around the kountry ez har-
binger Nv Dimicratic harmony, it wood
not du tn be known ez a fomenter Nv do
mestick discord SO / came hither ez a
peace commissioner tn mi own household
tn patch up a trooce with Marian and ne
gOshiate fer a cessashun Nv hostilitiz upon
her part upon the best terms / Good git.
Our first meetin tn consider the subjeck
resultid in a violent outbrake upon her
Yf3Eb, WDdTciu Sll0 ICpfOitCuU INT leE lcoNlH
her tu rassle with a washtub all the time
and komplaned Nv how much it cost her
tn buy grub and cloZe fer the family
instantly saw an opportoonity to give
her an objeck lessun in politikal ekonomy,
and sed, '.Mariar, wimmin don't under
stand whut causes sich things ez risin
prices and fallin markets, the laws Nv
suppl and dema;ld, the relashuns NV laber
and kapital and
Don't talk tu me none Nv yer hifa-
lootin foolishness," +" sed she in vilunt
passhun. II don't want tn hecr it. All
want tn kno IL thet you run off gall
vantin around the kountry soakin up rum
and left me tn du the wurk and talk care
nv miself and the children and spend all
the mummy earned tu support Us.
'.That's it cgzactly," sed 1. I'VE air
bein rooined bi the trusts, Mariar. Moo
Gersey hez laitly becum the hotbed Nv
these gigantick and unconstitooshunal
cembinashuns Nv kapital wich krush out
all kompetishun and will eventooally de-
priye us Nv our liberties. These soulless
corporashuns, run bi onprinsipled mil
lyunares and sugar kings and coal barons
and Standard lie monopolists, air oppres-
sin the people, and the crooel tyrants uv
sich commershal despotism air oppreSsin
us and grindin us under their heels vile
lila grow TlCll III CusiTSlH us
and cxtorshunate prices fer everything we
eat, drink and ware. Mariar, we must
arizc in our mite and go fourth tn battle
agin these despoilers NV our homes and
shake off the octopus that iz squeezin US
til death and eatin the life out Nv our
vitals.
''You talk like burned ole fool sed
Marian, interruptin mi eloquent remarks.
II hain't seen no octOpuscs around here,
and don't beleev tharc liz emmy, and ez
fer prices, tina air lower than ever. Wen
we got married, keroseen lie wuz as cents
gallon. Now kin bi it fer 10. Sugar
wuz twict ez hi eZ it IL now, and flour
wuz wuth $40 or S12 barril Children 5
cloze / he'd tn lraik, and tha cost more n
bubble whut tina du now reddy made. l
don't kno nothin about yer trusts nor hoo
runs 'em. l only kno thct things air
cheepcr'n tha used tn be wen yure friend
Grover wuZ president, and most every
buddy round here he'd nothin tn du hoo
depended upon their trades fer a livin. "
Marian sed /, how kin yu be so
hairless and so stcopidly indifferent wen
we are beein rooined without KNOWN it:
These 1nonstrous trusts NV which l Eev
alreddy spoken air the lluss NV our noble
stait. Tha air bringin reproach ontu Us
hi their hi handed and unlawful proceed
ins, and tha often du it in sich an insidu-
.yus wa tket we don't kno nothin about it
,ontil the graspin monopolics hev got us
intu their klutches. Alreddy tha hcv pade
about a millyun dollars fer the excloosiv
privilij NV. Robin us. y
well, if tha hey pade "A millyun dol
lars into the treasury NV Moo Gersey we
afr thet much ahed, ain we?' sed Marian.
''Perhaps we air, - 'sed ], ''frum II mum
ny pint NV vuc, but. think Nv the moral
.effeckt it will hev and whut disgrace it
will be to q Gerseyman tn think thet he
.condoncd sich plUndcrin NV the people fer
the saik wv IL paltry millyun dollars"
he'd hoped tibet this appel tn Marian
stait pride wood be Il conclusive argoo-
ment in mi favur, but it only served tu
sstir up the Republican blud in her vanes,
and she launched fourth in IL TRADE NV low
partisan abuse.
Don't say nothin tn me about the
moral effeckt Nv ennything," sed she,
latter yu hey fer yeers supported the gang
uv Dimicratic gamblers and hoss racers
tibet run the stait NV Moo Gersey ontil
their own party he'd su' vote the Repub-
likin tickit tn git rid nv EN-. Yu Dimi
Gratis hev jined hands with the Tammany
heelers NV Nco York and the anarchis,
thugs NV Chicago, jest ez yu did with the
Coppcrheds and knights of the Golden
circle doorln the S1vll war. l rcpect 1t,
Epizoot Wilkins, yu he'd better not cum
around here blatherin about yer high
moral idees -ez practiced bi sich Dimicrats
ez yu and yer applejaek soakin crowd In
Std NV bothern yer old he'd about trusts.
thet ye don't no nothin about, yu he'd bet
ter git out intu the field and tri tn mock
sum fodder out NV the sand fer yer family
tu live upon. / am tired NV standin up
tn ornament a washtub tn help support
yu in yer laziness. -
Never befoar he'd / seen Marian so on
strung and toomultuous, ard | nu thare
must be sum unyooshal recon fer it.
Later on l found thet our Republican
postmaster he'd bin givin her pints to ar.
goo agin me and he'd 1lled her up with
idees predjoodishal tu our glorius party.
Thet iz whut Mr.. Cleveland and l both
kali ''offensiv partisanship, - and thet IL