Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1899-02-09
AS HE SAW:..CYRAN0'
BY George AIDE

sporting authority of Mrs. Pollock's
boarding house attended "a = perform-
ance of "Cyrano de Bergerac" one even
ing recently. Next morning at the
breakfast table he was telling the book
keeper, the. clothing salesman AND the
young woman stenographer all about it.
"You want to CO." he said. I>".You
want to go. It's all right. Mansfield
does it out of sight,"
sits something like Shakespeare,
amt it?" asked the bookkeeper. ...
S"No, this is something new, some
thing just off of the bat. Of course it is
something like Shakespeare, becuz this
fellow has a hard-luck finish, but it
amt tragedy, either. 1 don't know
what you would call it, but it's all right
atsthat"
f.Mansfeld wears a big nose, don't
he?'' asked the ,stenographer. Il should
think he'd look awful funny." =.
'"Funny? Yes, it is funny, don't
think. It's about as funny as six fu-
nera1s goin' into Rose Hill cemetery all
at one time. Funny".
why? Does he dep asked the
clothing salesman.
"Well, yes, he does die at the finish,
but that's the least of his troubles.
Where he has all of his trouble is on &C.
count of this girl. You've got to ad-
mire a good many things he done, but
at that wouldn't have stood for this
other fellow as long as he did,
What other fellow? asked the book
keeper did some other fellow love
the girl?"
"Oh, murder!" exclaimed the sport
ing oracle, pushing away the cup of
coffee. II see right here that I'll have
to make diagram of this whole thing.
Now, this is the whole business as near
as could followit. Cyrano (Searanoh)
is stuck on the girl. She's a kind of
second cousin of his. The girl likes him
we'll enough, and that's about all. He's
a sight, you know. He's got a nose on
him that amt a nose at all. It's a
handle, that's what it is. Well, this
Cyranoais brainy guy, and he's ready
to fight at the drop of the hat, espe-
cially if anyone goes to making any
cracks about the nose. That's the one
.
fellow with the sword, writes poetry
and so on, you know-an elegant talker,
too, and as soon as you size him up you
can see that this horrible beak is his
one handicap. But it's somethin', of
course, that nobody can overlook.
swell, just about the time the piece
opens, this girl that he's dead stuck on
comes to him and tells him that she's in
love with young soldier that's just
come to join the same company that
Cyrano's with. That's an awful jolt
right between the eyes, but this Cyrano
is game up wherever you put him, so
he promises the girl that he'll help the
thing along and look after the young
fellow, and-oh, yes, he promises her
that he won't fight with Christian.'
"Who's Christian? asked the stenog-
rapher.
''That's the name of the young fellow
that the girl is stuck on. He's one of
these nice looking boys, you know, good
up to his limit, but short limit. Well
he's new soldier in this company, and
some of tie others have been kiddin'
him and telliR him that he didn't have
any nerve. He's crazy mad, and just
to prove that he's all right he decides to
call down Cyrano, because he's the best
man in sight. Cyrano starts to tell the
soldiers story Of something that hap
pened the night before, and thisyoung
fellow who's sittin' 81 off at one side,
shoots in a remark about the nose.
WE'LL every body jumps up becuz it
looks ten to one that there's goin' to be
a killin'. gCyrano isright on top of this
young fellow in second, and wants to
know who he is. When he hears the
name he stops that quick. It's theyoung
fellow he's promised to look AFTER He,
goes back and sits down and starts the
story again. The young fellow says
something more about the nose. He
keeps it up, you know, and the. soldiers
don't know what to make of it, for: it's
the first time on record that anyone
ever. made any remarks about the nose
and got away with it. Well, at. last
Cyrano sends the soldiers out and tells
this Christian why he can't fight him,
sand then the young fellow. weakens and
and they agree to be: friends. 1
Nov, this young fellow is a good 4
aooker, but, as he says himself. when
they begin to talk it over, he's a frost
when it comes to ia kim or writin' let
tiers, SO Cyrano makes a proposition
rthat he'll write the letters and tell the
young fellow what to say to the girl,
land between the two of 'em they'll win
;her out. That's the part of the play
northumberland. This Cyrano was fur
.nishin' the brains Of the outfit, but he
didn't stand to get anything out of it
except the satisfaction of SEEM that
the girl got married to the pretty boy.
I couldn't see myself pluggin' another