The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1899-07-16
On Knockers


HeflVefS . EfetEfk.
Professor septimus Greenwinter deliver
ed his lecture on Knockers" at VIII
liams Center. sedgwiciz county, last
Thursday evening to q fair audience
composed of the elite of the town.
Professor Greenwinter took the ground
that knocking as fine art was growing
at Williams Center and other places in
the world, and deserved attention.
"Brutus and Casslus." he said, "were
early knockers. Instead OF getting
out to the ward caucuses and lining up
with the boys, Brutns and Cassius sat
back in one corner of the lodge room
and criticised the government. Old julie
Caesar was buying cider for the First
Warders and greasing the good Will of
everybody with haIf-moon smiles, and 1t
wasn't long before he had the govern
ment in his vest-pocket in tin-foil. And
a little while after that Cassius and
Brutus murdered Caesar and took TO the
field of battle, and in a few days both
their wives were plugging around in the
business section of Rome getting bids
from the undertakers.
EdSSlI1B uOWu Tue BItbSiulb Pc6SS "a
history we come to Richard III. He also
was a knocker. He didn't last much
longer than Mike Morrissey of Tipperary.
and a fellow named Henry Richmond
walked OF and left brand new sword
sticking In Dicks Sc vest.
Again, after few centuries, we come
to Patrick Henry. a man who could de-
stroy a monarchy, but who didn't have
enough constructive ability to set up q
hen-coop. Patrick Henry knocked the
continental congress He fumed around
with a terrific appetite for Jamaica rum
and British gore.and finally brought on
great conflict. He then had an engage
ment to hoe his potatoes while the Amer
lean troops rushed by his farm to war.
and Tom Jefferson and George Washing
ton both afterward came to be presidents,
while Pat remained at home and roared
because he wasn't the whole cheese.
''But it is only Of recent years that
knockers have become so absolutely
thick that when a man wants to do
decent thing he has to do it secretly for
fear somebody will prevent him and de-
feat his charity. You have 'em right
here In williams Center. 1 am talking
to whole lot OF 'em here now. ven
ture to say that every one of you is a
knocker at some stage of the game or
other.
Keep 1t up. Knock. Knock right and
left. Knock your neighbor; knock your
town, yoar state and your nation. Sus-
pect every motive; plant your feet on
the shining hypothesis that no one is
worthy of trust; that good is a dream,
bad an actually; that the devil has
lassooed the earth and Is dragging US
hellward at a break-neck speed. See
hypocrisy in every profession of religion.
Charge your fellow man every time one
joins church with monkeying with his ever
lasting soul for the purpose of selling a
pound more OF sugar and a peck more OF
pink-eyed potatoes. When a man pro-
poses something out of public spirited
ness, doubt; look into It, you will find
that he is sneaking something for him.
self. II he proposes to get up a concert
for the betterment of the town and man.
ages 1t and make $50 out of 1t for himself
knock him. II a man has been busted
once and is trying to get ahead knock him.
Crush him down. Neglect your own bust
ness to mangle hope in him and drench
his reviving ambition. II he has not paid
all his debts and his wife gets a new
dress, knock him. Roar. Tell it in his
hearing that ne might better pay his hon
est debts first. Swipe him. Knock. That
is what you are here for.
If a mans wife dies. start an ugly ru-
NOR that he abused her and caused her
death. In the black hours of his sorrow
it will reach his ears and comfort him.
| He can stand a lot more. So knock him.
| If young girl in the natural vivacity
OF effervescent youth, lacks something of
| dignity and discretion and you happen
to see her on the street at night with a
young man of equal readiness and ex-
uberance. suspect, then color your sus-
picion into a belief. and then tell 1t to a
| lot Of evil-minded men. Knock her repu-
tation. 1t may cause tears. anguish. hu-
initiation, perhaps despair and eventual
ruination. but remember you are max
ing the world purer, happier, better, by
knocking. If a man does you a favor,
turn the searchlight OF suspicion on him.
| He is simply doing you a favor to ask a
| greater one of you later. He Is placing
you under obligations. He intends 10 use
| you. Don't thank him for the favor. Or
| perhaps he is afraid OF you. If he intends
to ask nothing in return. and is trying to
| propitiate you. II one OF your fellow
men has been out OF employment a long
| time. take the natural view of II, and
knock him. He Is a loafer. a bum, a
neer-do-well. Then II he finally secures
a job. sheer because he has taken such
1 a or Nla At
salary. Knock him. Keep on knocking
| him.
| Remember. my friends. that all we
have OF gentility and worth and honor in
this world was accomplished by the cruel
sting Of malice, and the lecherous sQuint
of suspicion, and venomous tongue of
| envy. II a neighbor has suffered a body
blow from casualty. follow 1t up your
self by giving him an uppercut OF cal
jimmy. II his house burns down. forget
that he has any affection for the old
place or that IL was not fully insured.
but throw aside your business cares and
! get out on the street and let the lie drib-
ble out of the corners OF your mouth
with the tobacco Juice. that he burned II
himself for the insurance. AS II passes
give the cyclone of actual potential evil
in this world an assisting twist. Be-
ware OF being discovered in defense Of e
friend. II you cannot find Il in your
heart to say something damaging against
him. then to the man who Is attacking
him assent with civil ieer or feeble pro-
test See bad in everything. Encourage
evil. and knock
il you find young man gradually
creeping up in life by indefEtigable indus
try and irreproachable character. do no,