Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, Ramsey Co., Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1905, 1899-05-26
Mr.. EPlzooT WILKINS.
He Holds a Consultation With the Dem.
ocratic Leaders in Washington, But
They Reach No Conclusion in Refer.
ence to a National Policy.

" IL " SuluX(Ons buG
They Reach No Conclusion in Refer
ence to a National Policy.
Washington, D. C, :
Tu the Editur.
In konsultin' with the leadurs nv our
Dimlcratic party l hev run up agin on
limited Instantaneous, and the attempt
tu lntrodooce new political issoos tibet
will fire the harts NV severil different
Kinds NV Dimicrats with the same kind
Nv enthoosiasm il goiE' III be attended
with no end NV trubhl. Wen I intcrvoo
q cleveland Dimicrat and explane mi
idees tn him Nv whut orter be dun he
~stlpoolates, ez a starter, thet no Bryan
Dlmlcrat shall talk a hand in the game;
and wen l maik a similur proposishun tn
q bryan man he wunt play onless
agree tn bid a fence tn keep the Cleve-
land goldbuss frum headin' the process
shun. We air agreed upon nuthin' OK
cept tibet the whole kountry is goin' tn
the devil, and tibet it IL our dooty tn
save it frum bcin' busted hi tn much ex-
panshun. Wen it kums tn fixing IN
things in detail and tryin' tn agree upon
sum set NV prinsiples, and bid a plat
form ontu witch We kin all stand without
tn much jostlin' NV each other, thare IL
alwazs sum kontrary kuss tibet hcz sum
luther plan. One mite l put on a bold
frunt i'll a barroom. where the most NV
our CRATE STATESMEN he'd assembled hi
lnvitashun NV a western Shylock, who
spent hiz muney freely in SIGH places.
and l scd: "Gentlemen," sed l, 'if we
air a goin' intu a fife in 1900 tn elect a
Dimlcratic president and a Dimicratic
kongress. it il time We quit chawin'
each luther up n yoonite upon sum
crate lssoo tibet will swallcr up all the
fittel ones and sweep us intu power upon
the krest NV the wave-so tn speek."
Bully fer VII, old man." sed a Dimi-
crat frum Kentucky. Il move we de-
klare fer free silver and free whisky"
Tibet wunt &c in South Karoliny,"
sed Senatur Tillman: "the Dimicrats
down thar air all Prohibishunists and
sit their pizen at the staff dispensary
becoz they air sick"
1.-The saim In Florida" sed anuther
man. who looked like a s%enatur, with a
%karbunkle on hiz nozc.
Thar wunt be no Dimicratic party in
Kentucky without plenty NV whisky"
sed the Kcntuckian.
And thar wunt be enuf NV the party
left tn need a fnncril If VII go intu the
campane Nv 1900 upon cny SIGH a fool
platform OF thct." sed a lonesum Dim
icrat from Moo England.
"Maik it wine instid " whisky" sed
q member frum Kaliforny. "and we kin
karry the staff by a CRATE majority"
"And loze n kouplc Of duzzcn sumwhar
else." sed a Kansas Dimicrat, who WIZ
smellin' a bottle NV embalmin' fooid tn
refresh hiz memory.
"kompromize upon applejack." sed I.
land Moo Gersey will brake loose frunl
her present hoOmiliatin' condishun, ez a
Republican staff. and establish herself
upon the rock Nv democracy and boss
%racin'."
Thare WIZ 40 much difference NV opin.
yum upon the whisky question. aside
frum drinkin' it. tibet we dcsidcd it wood
he sooiside to Introduce it in a nashunal
campane.
Next We considered the tariff. and thar
WIZ the saim wranglin' and f~ailyoor tn
agree upon cnnything that rood pull the
wool over the ize NV the Amerikin peo-
pie. Remembcrip' OF well cz l Good whit
Grover Cleveland he'd sed tn me, l de-
termined tn borrow hiz idees fer the
okkashun. and I scd: I'VE air hevin' al
together tn much prosperity tn raise tibet
issoo agin," scd I. 'There air tn mcny
laborin' men wurkin' Mt good wages and
not enuff tramps runnin' round. These
kundishuns prevailed wen we larst he'd
kontrol Nv the government, and. I hev
reezuns tn believe tina wood agin il
we Good kun tn our own wunst more"
"But sumhow the laberin' man don't
talk kindly tn kalamity," interrupted a
Pennsylvania. "Hc gifts demoralized
wen out " work and IL label tn go over
tn the Republicans all in a hecp. See
how it wuz in 1896! We he'd bin
hevin' plenty of knlamity doorin' Gro.
ver's administrator. and it wuz kumin'
in chunks bigger'n we Good handle wen
Mckinley upset things hi proklaimin'
hizself the advance agent NV prosper
ity.' The prospeck NV gittin' sumthin'
tn eat fer hiz family IL alwaze an in.
doocement fer a workin' man tn stop
md think, and tibet IL whit did the mis-
chit fer us in Pennsylvany in the last
campane. We rood hev gone thru on
the drink kwcstion all rite. We Good
hev endorst whisky, wine, Moo Gersey
applcjack or even cold water without
creatin' eny trubble in the party; but
wen yu uduS UP tue ceItdIuL! Nv suIH-
thin tn eat in frunt NV a hungry man it
IL a tn dazzlin' tcmptashun tn be re-
sisted. The consequence wuz tibet our
miners and operativs Nv every kind foo
the track, and we WIZ orfully lickt rite
amung our own people. Bryan tride tn
make 'em believe tibet splittin' a dollar
in two wood give 'em all the muney tina
wanted. hut mi rekollecshun IL tibet the
experiment WIZ a %faleyure. Takin' all
things intu akkonnt l shood sa tibet we
he'd better not burn our fingers agin on
the tariff or ennything else whar our
bred and butter liz konserned."
Sich talk ez tibet he'd a depressin' in.
aoocnce over all NV us. fer we rekog-
nized the fact tibet it wuz based upon
trooth, and the memoriz NV 1896 WIZ tn
fresh in our minds tn undertake tn kon-
tradict it. So we dcsided thct the tariff
cood not be galvanized intu life agin
eth eny certainty Nv foolin' the workin'
people,"
I'VE he'd better let the dead rest sed
Senatur German, mournfully. ut IL tn
much like handlin' a korpse tn menshun
the thrift agin wen all the furnaces IL