Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1899-11-10
Mr.. DOOLeY ON WAR
AND WAR MAKERS

Il tell We, Hinnissy.'' said Mr.. Dooley.
''ye can't do III English speaking peo-
pie. Ourselves an tn hands acrost tn
sea ARE rapidly teachin tn benighted
Lutheryan an other taythin that as d
trace were onvincibIe an oncatche-
able. TIL Anglo-Saxon race meetin's;
now goin' on in tn PhHppeens an
South Africa ought TO convince amy
wan that. give US a fair start. an we
can bate tn wurruld to a tiIlygraft Of
/ fee
Th' war our cousins be Sir Thomas
! Upton is prosecutin'. as Hogan says.
again the foul but accrate Beers IS
doin' more thin that It's givin' US q
common war lithrachoor. I wuddent
believe at first whin I r-read tn dis
patches in til pa-apers that me frind.
/ Gin raj Otis. wasn't in South Africa.
1t was on'y whin I see another chapter
~ his justly cillybrated seeryal story.
! Untitled TIL Capture ~ Porac' that I
knew he had an imitator in tn mother
country. An, be hivins. I like tn Eng
| lish la-ad's style almost IS well as our
3 =.
pa-apers say, that Otis has writ him
silf out. Annyhow. tn las chapter isn't
thrillin'. He says: Today tn army
under my command fell upon tn infmy
with gr-reat slaughter an seized tn
J important town OF Porac, which 1 have
nintioned befure, but, he says we
ar-re fortunately now safe in Manila
I Ye see, he doesn't keep up tn interest
to tn end. TIL English pote does bet
Their.
Las night at o'clock he says.
| we found our slender but intrepid
ARMY surrounded be wan hundherd
| thousand Beers, he says. We attack
! ted thin with gr-reat fury he says.
! pursuin' thin up tn almost inacces-
siblc mountain side an capturin' eight
guns which we didn't want. so we give
! thin back TO thin with siv-ral iv our
| own. he says. The Irish rig-mints.'
I he says. TIL Kerry Rifles. tn Land
! Leaguers Own, an 9TH Dublin Pets.
| commanded be tn poplar Irish sojer.
| Gin'ral Sir Ponsonby Tompkins, wint
! into battle singin' their we'll known
naytional anthem. Mrs. Innery Awk-
| ms is a Fust Class Name" TIL Beers
/ retreated,' he says, 'pursooed be tn
| Davitt Terrors. who cut their way
through the fugitives with awful
/ slaughter. he says They have now
he says. 'pinethrated as far as Preto-
| ria. ne says. in IN heart iv tn hos
tile country he says TIL officers ar
| irwin in first class carredges an tn
men in thrucks.' he says. AN ARE
camped> in tn bettin shed. where they
ARE afforded iviry attintion be tn
vanquished inimy.' he says. AS fr
US. he says. we decided afther tn
victhry to light out FIR Ladysmith, he
says TIL inimy had similar intin-
tons. he says. but their skill has been
vastly overrated.' he says. We bate
thim.' he says. we bate thin. We bate
thin be thirty miles he says.
That's where we're sthrong. Hin
missy. We may get licked on the ba,-
tie field. we may be clImbin' threes in
tn Phlippeens with arrows stickin' in
us like quilts. as Hogan says, into tn
fretful porcupine. or we may be doin
a mile in five minyits fiat down tn
pike that leads to Cape Town, pursued
be tn less fleet but more ignorant
Beers peltin' us with guns full iv goold
an bibles. but in tn pages of histhry
that our childher read we niver turned
back on e'er an inimy. We make our
own gloryous pages on TIL battle field,
in tn camp. an at tn cabinet meet
in
We'll, It's all fright f'r We to be
jokin," said Mr.. Henne5sy. but there's
NANNY brave fellow down there that
it's no Joke to-
"Thrue FIR ye." said Mr.. Dooley. an
that's why I wisht it cud be fixed up
sos tn men that starts TIL wars cud
do tn fightin. TIL throuble is that all
tn preliminaries is arranged be match
makers. an all they'se left f'r the fight
crs is to 90 TIL murdhrin \ mans
got Il good job at home and he wants
10 make il stronger. How can he do
it? Be THROWN out some wan that's
got an akelly good job down tn sthreet.
Now. he don't go over as / wud, and
say. Here. Schwartzmsister Cor Eru-
ger. as tn case may be-, I don't like
ye'er appearance: ye made j monkey
in argymint befure tn neighborhood.
an if ye continyue in business yen
hurt me trade, so here goes to move W
into tn sthreet. Not that la-ad. He
gets q crowd around him an. says he:
| Kruger Tor Schwartzmeister. as TIL
case may be-. is no good. To begin
with. he's Dutchman. If that ain't
enough hes a cantin, hymn-singin
murdhrous wretch that wuddent lave
| wan iv our counthrymen ate a square
meal if he had his way. I'll give We all