Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-02-05
But 1t Took Him Five Years and He Had Many
Narrow Escapes.

But 1t Took Him Five Years and He Had Many
Narrow Escapes.
Gentlemen" said the fat man, after
reading the telegram handed him as
the train reached Syracuse, this is to
notify me of the death of a very dear
friend. He was run over by an electric
car in New Orleans yesterday. wish
you to carefully observe my demeanor
You will notice a combination OF Ella
ton and sorrow in my looks. l do
not smile, but neither do 1 weep"
/ We were wondering what sort of a
friendship he could have had with the
deceased, when he reread the telegram,
put it in his pocket and continued:
Il think I had better explain the case
a little more clearly. The man who
has met such melancholy end has
been as a brother to me for the last
five years. 1t has been almost a case
of Damon and Pythias When l say
this you will wonder that the tears do
not come to my eyes, but there is a
| reason for their absence. / am on the
road for a New York grocery house,
while he travelled for a New England
wooden mill. We met for the first time
in Buffalo. He it was who suggested
that we insure our lives for each 9th
er's benefit, and the idea seemed a coed
| one to me. We took out travellers ac-
| eident policies and wished each other
good luck, and his death means $4,000
to me. | do not rejoice, as you will
observe and admit, AID at the same
time there are no tears to fall. For
! fifteen years it has been a contest as
to who would fall first We have can
vassed the matter a hundred times
and each has been positive that he
would be the survivor. 1t is a habit of
mine to walk in my sleep, and he was
ever contending that l would break my
neck by a fall down stairs or a drop
from a thirdstory window. 1t was a
habit of his to cross the street where
ever he took fancy, and to make
cable and electric cars wait his pleas
ure. / figured it out a dozen times over
that he would encounter motorman
some day who would not take his bluff
and you observe that my prediction has
been verified.
Eyes, it has fome at last" said the
fat man as faint smile showed on his
face for a moment, ''and | am glad in
the sense that the contest is finished.
1t has been long one and full Of
incident. Three days after our bargain
the train on which l was going into
Indianapolis ran over a COW and was
thrown down an embankment, and
though everybody else in my car was
killed or injured, l escaped almost
without bruise. I think George felt
that l ought to have been duly and
eternally smashed, and that my scrap
ing through was a piece of spitework,
but Of course he had to put the best
possible face on the matter. A month
lated it was his turn. He went walk
ing on railroad trestle in Ohio. and a
freight train caught him in the middle
of it. He ought to have been killed
by the jump he had to make, but he
simply sprained his ankle can't say
that l rejoiced over his escape, but
neither should l have been elated had
that jump been his last. 1t was my
turn row, and my adventure came
within two weeks. There had been a
fire in Cleveland. and as was passing
the ruins wall fell outwards. My
escape was declared a miracle. A man
and horse were killed and three men
badly injured, but l went clear. My
pockets were half-filled with chunks Of
plaster, and it took me a week to get
the lime out of my hair, but l wasn't
even grazed. l telegraphed an enthus-
iastic dispatch to George over my es-
cape, but his answer was cold and in
different / am sure he argued that 1
was trying to take an unfair advantage
of him, but he was mistaken. That
wall fell all around me, and l was left
standing amidst a pile of brickbats ten
l. .#V