Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1899-09-21

OOlOOO TIhlDE.
work and preparing for the struggle
which she knew was sure to come.
"Thirty-five dollars! My dear, do
you think have been up in the Klon-
dixie or used to be cashier in bank
Thirty-five dollars, indeed! Why, my
hat never costs over So
Eyes, but your hats have no trim
ming on them and therefore are not so
expensive"
well, l should say not. Great Jo-
seph, $35 for a haiti" And Mr.. Boo
bingle blew long whistle to signify
his surprise.
Now, dear, you know l paid $40 for
my last bonnet, which you like so
we'll" replied his better half, thus turn
ing his own weapons against him,
land besides must tell you what Mr..
Neighborly. who lives just across the
street, said about you, dear Blodgett.
Mr.. Neighborly said he thought you
were the best man to your family he
ever saw"
Mr.. Boobingle appeared nonplused
for moment, but soon asked timidly:
Don't you think, darling, you could
get along with $40 this time and next
fall you can find just the prettiest
hat you can find?"
But his wife was resolute. Only too
often had she looked forward to that
fallacious next year." only to find that
when it had at last arrived it was still
next year. and aid not produce one OF
those round pasteboard boxes, which
usually contain some creation" dear
to the feminine heart.
What an ideal" she exclaimed. "A
fine hat, indeed, | would have if | had
to buy it with that sum. Why, you
would be ashamed to be seen with me
attired in such a rig. No, sir, l must
have SIS or nothing. But understand
Mr. Boobingle, that il | cannot have a
new bonnet | shall insist upon your
resigning from the Hearty Eaters club
and saving your dues. which, as | I'M
derstand, amount to $50 per year."
This club was composed of a lot oil
convivial spirits, who, in their younger
days, had belonged to an association
which rejoiced in the euphonious name
of the Bowler Bachelors" The Bowler
Bachelors club had been started by a
man named Bowler, and each member
before being admitted to the club, was
obliged to take a solemn oath never to
marry and to forswear all intercourse
with the gentle sex. For about two
years the "Bowlers," as the town peo-
pie dubbed them, thrived, and the dear
est wish OF each sprouting adolescent
/ was TO become a member of this cele-
brated organization and thus enjoy the
! luster which it lent to all who belonged
tc it.
All went well with the 'Bowlers" un-
til one day an awful event occurred, ar
event which brought blush of shame
on the unsullied brow of every mem
ber This blow came wrapped up in a
pure-white envelope and read as fol-
lows Mr.. and Mrs Samuel Sweet.
youth invite you to the marriage OF
their daughter. Susan Sweetyouth. tC
Mr.. Buncombe Bower, Feb. IL. 1SS-.'
Buncombe Bowler to be married! Be.
trayed by their PRESIDENT Such were
the thoughts that traversed the con
fused minds Of the Bachelors, each one
of whom had received one of the hand
somely engraved invitations, and enc
and all they hurried to the house Of
the founder Of their anti-marriagc
club.
Here tumble OF reproaches. appeals
and threats fell upon the dazed head Of
the Bowler" chief. but all in vain I'm.
der the hypnotic spell Of Susie Sweet.
youths mystic charms Buncombe Bow.
Ter remained steadfast and persisted il
staining the fair name of the organi
cation which bore his name.
The, Bowler-Sweetyouth nuptials tool
/ place with great eclat and the dishon.
ored Bachelors attended in a body
After the ceremony they betook them.
selves to the clubrooms, where they
held a solemn autopsy over the remain:
of the Bowler Bachelors club. now on.
" an all too prominent mark for tht
Jokes of the village wags. and dis
graced in the eyes of the world. Tbs
| club only survived the blow for pc