The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-07-15
Barney's Wooing.
IFE became a burden to Barney
By George AIDE.

IFE became a burden to Barney
now that Jim and Mac were sure
that Lizzie, of the Wabash Home-Cook-
ing restaurant, was really fond of him.
They professed lively and unselfish
interest in the "love affair."" as they
chose to call it. Barney tried every
method of discouraging their persecu-
tions. One day he would listen in smil-
ing good nature, believing that they
would "let up" on him when they per-
ceived that he was not annoyed. Next
day he would try the policy of ignoring
everything they said. AT another time
his wrath would get the better of his
Judgment and he would curse them
roundly. In each case they continued
to talk about Lizzie and make plans for
the wedding. Barney believed they
were OVERRIDING the joke and told them
so. In return Mac complimented Bar
ney on his magnificent pretense of in
difference and then assured him that
''all the world loves lover"
Barney had threatened to remain
away from the Wabash Home-Cooking
restaurant altogether, but as he had
purchased Communication ticket $3.50
for $3) and it was not yet half punched
out he was compelled to go there now
and then. Jim or Mac went with him
occasionally and derived much joy from
watching Barney color when Lizzie
said: you're quite stranger here
lately"
When they went to the restaurant I'M
accompanied by Barney they carried
messages from him and told Lizzie that
she had captivated him. Lizzie was
amused and flattered.
"He's an awful nice little fellow, any,
way" said Lizzie.
"And he thinks you are perfect
Hebe," said Jim.
Lizzie shifted her gum and was in
doubt.
He says he wants to take you away
from this life and put you in fat" said
Mac. ''Do you think you could marry
that man, Lizzie?'
you bet could, but that little fellow
amt got the nerve to ask woman to
marry him. He's awful bashful,
amt hep"
'That is mere affectation, Lizzie"
said Jim. you put him in parlor and
he's a bold man."
''Lizzie, win you tell us the truth if
we ask you a certain question:"
"Uh-huh." (Affirmative.)
Honestly"
"sure!" Chewing her gum delight
edly.)
ibid this friend of ours ever make
love to you? Did he ever come right
out and tell you what he thought of
you?'
swell, for the Lords sake! You amt
got your nerve with you or nothin', have
you? Even if he had do you think I'd
go an blat about it to his friends?"
"Ah-h-h-h, Lizzie, you are concealing
something. You love this man. i can
see that Don't deny it."
''Me? Well, say, honest to-oh, 60
on! You're two kidders."
Then they would go back to Barney
with fictitious messages from Lizzie.
One evening they were taking their
ease under the gas chandelier and read
ing an evening paper (fairly divided
into three parts) when Mac gave q sud-
den exclamation and said: by George,
I've been expecting it. You can't keep
those things quiet, Jim. You take a
rumor of that kind and it sort of passes
from one to another and gets into the
literary clubs, and then the next thing
you know it comes out in a newspaper"
Jim-Is it in regard to the matter
we've been talking about; YOU know.
the betrothal?
Barney gives a low moan, but does
not look up from his reading.)
Maxwell, I'll read it to YOU (pre-
tends to read): Society in all parts of
our cultured metropolis is greatly ex-
cited over the report of coming nun
tial agreement between two of the So
cial hi-kis of the south side. The
groom is prominent young German
who recently cqNsed sensation by ap-
pearing in Michigan avenue wearing a
new suit of clothes. The bride-to-be
is an attractive brunette of the 1so-
pound class. who is noted for her con-
versational powers and her disregard
OF the conventionalities. Her daily re-
ceptions at the Wabash Home-Coolxinp
restaurant attract the entire smart SET
between Peck court and the river. II
is said that the happy couple will live in
TINT on the lake 'front.'
Jim-It's simply wonderful how tba
newspapers get on to these things. We
thought we were keeping that secret,
didn't we?
Barnes-For heavens sake, are we go
ing TO have another OF these idiotic SEES
giouss