The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1899-07-08
INTERRUPTED ORATORY.


The Side Issues that Handicapped an
Independence day spcaker-A Pic
ture Drawn True 70 Lie.
"Fellow-w-w- citizens I-(takes a
drlnl; of water) l thank you, Mr.. Chair
man, and you, my fellow-cltlzenS. whom
have had the distinguished honor to
twice represent in the legislative halls
of this proud state. for the magnificent
reception which you have accorded me
on
"wow-ow-ow! Wow! wOw-ow.ow!
Small baby, rapidly becoming purple
in the face. Mother kneadS It on her
lap and then losses 1t Into the air in
order to reassure it.) Wow-w-w-w!
wuh-ow! wuh-ow! Wow! Wow!
WON'T"
noted alike for their intelligence,
their public spirit and that enlightened
patriotism which"
Come on boys! They're three for
five. remember! Three for fiveI Three
for five! Three for I'VE aneverytimeyou-
Observation-Disclosures! Come on,
boys! Come on am
Bang! Bang! Boot! Prst! Buns!
Bang bang! (Bunch Of firecrOck-
ers under a barely
Wow! Wow-ow-ow-ow-ow! Uh-uh-
uh-wow! uh-wowl wowuh!" Same
baby)
"-befittIng that on this day Of days,
made sacred throughout all time by that
heroic declaration Of our illustrious
forefathers. we should assemble to do
honor to those who founded this repub-
lie in strength and wisdom and at the
same time pledge to each other
LENA! Lemoi Lemo! It's ave glass.
remember, good people. The cool, re-
freshing lemonade right here Is ave q
glass. Five cents, nick, half dime,
the twentieth part of dollar buys a
large glass of the cool. refreshing drink!
oh. yes! Come onl Come on! Come on!
The pure Juice Of the lemon, bear in
mind. Too good! Too good! Another
soul made happy. Come ont It's hVs.
1--WE, 1--WE, Ave, i've! Hey-y-y! Come q
runnInH Lemo! Leno! Lemo"
and on oil seriousness. my fellow
citizens, allow your thoughts, on this,
the glorious birthday Of national free
dom, to dwell upon those problems
which"
Bing-bing.blng! Bang! Boot! Bang
bang-banE-bang. Fiss "a "stzzer'1.
Bang! Bang-bung- hIng-bang!
"wuh-uh- Observation-Disclosures - (baby
holding It's BREATH ow! wow>ow-ow-
ow. Uh-uh-uh-wOwow -wOwow-wow!"
That's the time you ring the bell an
git one o. the Dewey perfectos. Yes.
sir, the cigars all right. A nice, free
smoker. Come on. nowI Come on huF!
Somebody else try 1t. Three shots for
five. an every time you ring the bell
you git good cigar"
the palladium Of our liberties,
Now ask you, my fellow-cItIzens, as
calm and thoughtful and patriotic eiu-
gems of the gurandest country on Gods
green footstool. is 1t not your solemn
duty To-
Wow! wow-ow-ow! Uh-wow!"
"Choke OF that young uni"
g repeat It. Is II or Is It not your
duty? Why, fellow citizens, we are
standing upon the threshold OF one Of
the most sublime epOchs in the magni-
ncent history OF our imperial common
wealth. wl-l-th prophetic eye glance
along the gllttering pathway of the
twentieth century and there behold
-"
get EN- hot! Get EN- hot! The big
sack for a nickel, remember! Get the
real California. duplex, back-action,d ou-
ble-joInted. beveI-edged. hy-front pea
nuts, rememberl They're fresh roast
ed! They're nice and hot remember!
Takemalong! Takemnlongl Takem-
along! The 90 model with the ball
bearings, remember! The only pneu-
matte peanuts sold on the grounds to-
day. Loosen up! Loosen up! Buy pea
nuts for the lndiesl Benr In mind that
there are the stem-wlndlng peaRutsl A
written guarantee with every peanut
remember! Come on! Come on Get
your peanuts right here! Step right"
Bang! Bang bang! Bang
"uh-wowl t'h-wow! Uh-wow-w-
WI"
- realize the immense responstbiIl-
ty resting upon US as the uncrowned