The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-09-26
Mr. Bowser's Tribulations.

the paper ASIDE and observed:
u haven't heard the piano going for
the last three months. Anything out Of
ORDER
NO. us all right" she answered; but
as you hate music don't play when you
are here"
Il hate music! What are you talking
about
You have often compared my playing
10 the sounds OF beating on an Old TN
pan
well, OF course, you are a poor player
and your voice Is cracked, but so far as
music Is C0ncerned-reai music-it fills nay
soul With Joy"
But you never cling or play"
Haven't had time heretofore, but now
Il"
you intend TO-"
yes. / feel the need Of something 10
make home more pleasant to offer more
diversion during the evenings. 1 think
shall learn 70 play the violin"
What! At your age" exclaimed Mrs.
BoWser.
My age" he shouted. as ne bobbed
around on his chair. That's what l eX-
pectcd 10 hear What's the matter with
my ag-2 ] am neither blind, speeches.,
nor crippled Plny went al ii and learn
81 six languages after he was seventy
years old"
Well, / suppose you brought home the
violin?"
Yes. It's a beauty, and / got it cheap.
It's real Givoni and l bought it OF a
man who was nard up. Got it for So,
and It's worth S2JV"
Ana you Will try TO learn to play it?'
certainly. l had one lesson this after
noon, ana IN less than a month I'll as
tJnsh you"
You VIII practice in the garnet, 1 sup
pOse"'
Not by jusful. shall practice right
mere! That is, there won't be much prac-
ice about Il, as l shall be playing tunes
~ saturday Let me show il 10 YOU"
ne nae LETT II IN the hail as he came in /
nc sot me package and uncovered it ard (
brought back a greasy OLD fiddle which /
IOohcd as If 1t had been carried around /
the country since the days OF Columbus.
This violin was made by Giyoni him |
sen over 100 years ago. lie said, as Mrs.
BoWseT gdzed al the old relic.
Who was Givoni?"
Who was GivOni?' Why don't you |
ask who George Washington was?"
Wen, It's my opinion that you have
been swindIed on the instrument, and |
rear you are too Old 10 take up sucn I.
music"
do you? That's a nice way to en-
courage husband / see now why so
many men run out nights. / not only
saved Sl65 in buying this fiddle. but P1 /
make your heart ache with jealousy be-
fore the month is overI'
lilo sat down and began TO saw. He
Held his head on one side, run out his
tongue, and sawed away at the scale,
anu ne had been going about five MN
utes Wnen the cook opened the door. beck
Cned Mrs Bowser out, and whispered:
give you notice that l shall leave
after dinner tomorrow"
why, what is it?" was asked.
"Him-Mr- BOWser! Hell bring spooks
and ghosts about! | have already been
taken with palpitation of the heart.
Mercy, but listen TO those voices of the
dead calling out to each other across their
graves! Mrs. Bowser it's the wonder Of
me people that you don't commit sui
cider
Mr.. Bowser continued saving away I'M
III his arm was tired ana his collar wilt
cd, but he wouldn't have quit when he
did had not voice in front Of the house
shouted:
why don't some one throw a rock at
the door or ring for the patrol wagon?'
Next day a dark-skinned man who said
ne was grandson OF the late Givoni
came up and gave Mr.. BOwser q lesson,
and the cook who had almost consented
TO stay on suddenly rose up and rushed
AFTER her bundle. When ready to 20 she
whispered 10 Mrs. Bowser:
m sorry tor you that's TO be left be
hind. mum, but If he gets violent vou'u
nave him taken 10 The asylum. of
CourseI
MT BoWser took four lessons in all.
ana then told his teacher that mis- serv- |
ices would no longer be required He took
the last two lessons in the barn in order.
as ne said. 10 surprise the neighbOrs. On {
the evening OF the last lesson ne seated
himself on rustic chair in the back
YARD, and when ready 10 perform" he
said to Mrs. Bowser:
You said l could not learn to NAV the
violin at my age, Just listen and see if
You dCnt change your opinion"
ne started IN with what was meant for !
WIG, weird prelude 1t hadn't preluded !
over thlrty seconds when a dozen people ,
appeared at back windows. Fifteen sec ! {
oHds later, as Mr.. BOwser got his tongue /
out and his arm limbered up, six different :
voices yelled at him. !
The applause begins" he said 70 Mrs. !
HoWser. as she stood at the window ,
above
piled. ''-' &c !
Don't Ike it, ne exclaimed as he pro- !
duced wall OF despair on the strings. ,
II we've got neighbors who can't appre- !
~ music q Ike TO know il right away | /
ana prepare 10 move. Don't tell me"
II was big cucumber which whizzea J
by his ear The cucumber was followed
by potato which grazed his shoulder 7
\ lump OF coal struck the fence behind
MIN with bang, and as he rose uu to :
DOW 10 the applause" a tomato hit him \
IN he mouth, and Mrs. Bowser screamed ,
10 him 10 nee for his life He was dazed
Tor moment and II was not until gen :
erous ear or green corn thumped him in
the ribs and the half Of a squash aIiphted
on his shoulder that he got started for
shelter. As he gained the house he had a
revolver and six different murders in .
mind, but just then a policeman rang the .
door bell, and as soon as he was admitted :
he eXCitedly demanded
Now, then. who is it torturing cats in :
the back y4TdT'
Il Was playing the violin" STAN :
mered Mr.. BOwser In reply.
do you mean TO tell me that those bor- ,
rible sounds were made by q iGdle?"
''I-Nes!' u
"Thcn you'd better stop II. II the !,
neighbors start In 10 lynch you itI be all Il
over before / can get helpr' =
The officer departed just as three OF the L
nCghDors appeared. They invited Mr. l
Sowser out 20 the gate for a conference. q
" hat was said may never be revealed In D
print, but after ten minutes q decision v
was arrived at. When Mr.. Bowser re-en- /
tered the house he was looking as pale as '
3 rag. ami the first thing he did was to q
kick the fiddle hish-sky, and the second h
10 throw the pieces out OF the back win II
low.
Mr., Bowser. have you gone crazyg' d
exclaimed Mrs BoEseT as he threw the s.
bow afIer the shattered fiddle II
NO, ms'am, ] haven't, but I've cot a $
lew words TO say 70 you" he replied o
What have / doney' n