New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-06-25
THE FORCE OF A TESTIMONIAL.


In front OF side show al little country circus
not long ago ard not far or a hoarse-voiced man
! shouting: Here you are. now. The osslded
man. Step right up. gentlemen. and the great
| living curiosity OF the nineteenth century!
| Only 10 centsr
A dozen stood In group little way of
| listening but not one OF them convinced Of the
| farmer came out OF the tent having viewed tho
ossihed man Here my friend" roared the show
man. tell these gentlemen here what you think
Of the greatest living curiosity Of the nineteenth
The farmer not used to public speaking. like
the Snowman, and he answered in such low
Well IN tell yer; il had the darned little runt
That's what they all say" shouted the show
man; step right up gentlemen. and see the great
est living curiosity Of the nineteenth century,
And the crowd, on the farmers testimonial.
pron1tly paid its dimes and walked In.
WOULD RATHER BE A PRESBYTERIAN.
a Presbyterian father and mother who are
somewhat lax in their attendance upon church
services sat In their summer cottage last Sunday
afternoon and overheard the following converse
tlon between their seven year-old son. Hugh. and
his playmate. who lives In the cottage next door.
II don't like Baptists." said Hugh.
Tho paymate's parents Baptsts and he
protested indignantly win. All. get out! You
Il do So" retorted Hugh They stick people
under the water and pretend that they soak
This was poser and seemed to admit Of no
snswer oradnaIly the eonyersation drlted to the
is Katie Rafferty, Catholic asked the play
You bet she is. Why she goes to church every
lie Katie O. Hoolihan a CatholIcy'
mo. think she is a Presbyterian. because
never see her going 10 church 49,.
Courtney" called womans voice from the
next cottage. come get dressed. dear; rs time
for Sunday school - ~. -.
rebellious submission; II wish my mamma was
Presbyterian
WHY HIS TEETH WERE NOT FILLED
In one OF the rural districts OF the Borough Of
Brooklyn IL little church which pays 10 It's pas
tor salary OF fewer hundreds year than the
average city clergyman gets thousands HIS
women parishloners. especially who poses as
the Lady Bountiful OF the church. but whose con-
tributions scarcely At the part. attempt 10 make
up to him in cordially what ne lacks in financial
support They surrounded him at the picnic OF
the Tgss h 20 eat 81 a sf from their
Finally Mrs Bour,9i PLEADED od Tss s ssna 70 me
heart OF a summer girl in October
II really can't" said the minister. My teeth
are o not good dom, vou 90, YOUR teeth nea bur,,
forth the sympathetic architect OF the cake:
The underpsid clergyman fastened his eye oa
her and said with voice as dry as Long Island
truck garden at the end OF the drouth:
Generally have hard enough time 10 keep my
stomach filled"
SOLUTION OF THE NO-LAMP PLIGHT.
All wheemen who have been unfortunate enough
10 return 10 the city from tour in the country
after nightfau testify TO the enthusiasm with
which the police enforced the lamp ordinance that
preceded the new Collins law. To man who
was trying TO get home without lamp. this de-
yotion 10 duty on the part OF the police always
seemed rather overdone. Many the tricks
resorted 10 by fertile minded wheelmen TO avoid
either walking the police station. At one time
Chinese lanterns used These were succeeded
By lanterns improvised from bottles tin
and candles More often the lampless rider at
tempted TO lose himself among number OF riders
with lamps in the hope that his shortcomng
would be overlooked.
One night recently Fatbush-aye thronged
with returning bicycle riders policeman stood
at the Bergen-st crossing ready TO pounce upon
the unwary. Suddenly there was Comanche yell
from Seventh-ave.. and two young wheelmen came
riding at a rapid pace holding aloft between them
one bicycle lamp Evidently one OF them had got
caught without a lamp and the other had taken
chances on getting through with him with half
a lamp apiece The minion OF the law looked in
wild-eyed establishment and scratched his head
ne tried 10 decide which one TO arrest for not
having a lamp. Meantime the joyous riders had
sped on yelling VIGOROUSLY in response 20 the ex-
pressions OF admiration from other wheelmen and
they had Just disappeared in Dsan-st when the
policeman muttered.
ANYWAY. I oush, to have arrested en- Tor
scorchin."