davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
WORST OF NIGHT NOISES.
a Nervous Boarder Says It IL the
Flapping of Skirts Out Of
u Windows.

II am expert on night noises and
their relative effect on the sleep wooer's
system" said Mr.. Keenstrung to the
new boarller the other morning as he
waited for his late breakfast to be pre-
pared. II have kept watch in the heart
Of New York for thousands of nights
and know exactly to what extent the
creaking of boots, the shutting of a
hatbox lid, the bang of a door or talk
ing on the stairs damages and distances
my chances of sleep. have regular
gamut of nightly recurring sounds to
go by, and can conjure the particular
degree of hopelessness and aggrava-
ton evoked by each in turn, but to me
the sound of sounds most calculated to
set the nerves on edge is the 'Whop!
whop! whop' of woman's skirts
shaken out of an upper window at
midnight or close on to midnight.
"A householder over the way here
10 given to striking up his full-toned
parlor organ toward the small hours.
Another neighbor makes it a practice
to let out his house bound dogs for ex-
ercise around the block at the same
unreasonable time. They are big dogs,
and enjoy the chance. There is some
times a great clatter when the maids
next door get to shying tins and heavy
objects at the cat that prowls in the
area, and there is the usual number of
whirring, corresponding electric cabs
and late scurrying hansoms in this
neighborhood. But no one of these
sounds, or all put together, can com
pare in efficacy with that clothes shak-
ing business. The half muffled domes-
tic sort of sound is as much more
audible than any mere racket can be
as stage whisper carries further
than talk conducted in an ordinary
tone of voice.
1.-THE young woman who has the
room next to mine shakes her skirts out
of the window in this way every night
without fall" he went on. "She is
strong and vigorous, and flaps them
in lively and germ-banishing fashion
over and over again, while listen on
tenter hooks for the alternate strokes
of the whisk brush and other steps in
the dirt-freeing process that l have
learned to recognize. Trailing skirts
are the mode now, SO they gather much
dirt. No matter how well am getting
on toward my coveted sleep haven,
how soothed and tranquil my nerves,
how deliciously elusive my sensations
in that happy state preceding slumber,
at the first throwing up of the sash
and preliminary flourish of those wide
breadthed garments I am as wide
awake as though the hour was - noon
instead of sleep time. 'Whop! whop!
whop! scutter! scutter! scutter' goes
on the operation with now and again a
pause while she picks off feck, re-
moves thread or flattens the frock
out on the sill for fresh onslaught. L
know the whole programme by heart,
and long after she has shut the window
and settled down for the night, doubt
less dreaming of her sweetheart or her
new spring hat, am tossing in exas-
peration, mauling the bed clothes, and
in between times trying to think out
just why it is that things so excellent
and admirable in themselves should
work such discomfort and unchari-
tableness to those they hit at random"
IN. Y. Sun.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06

''George, after dinner I wish you'd
harness up Jack, " said the farmer.
"I've got to drive over to the Cages to
| get q book on hens that he promised
me. I'm going to give you some hens
and let you see what yon can make out
Of them with the aid Of the book. l
don't take much stock in hen books
myself M
! The Bubble Boy smiled, but said moth
ling. He was too busy with his third
slice of pumpkin pie to talk. After he
had finished it he said: ''Can ride
over with you?"
IT dunno. Kinder late for you. Well,
SEEM to-morrow's your birthday, I'll
let YOU"
So it happened that few minutes
later George, who had been weeping in
his room, not daring to go down and
expose the trick he had played upon
his father, and yet feeling very hungry
and contrite, heard sound of wheels
in the yard and looked out of the win
dow. There he say the Bubble Boy
backing Jack into the wagon. In a
few minutes his father came out of the
house and got into the wagon, and then
rode off, his double driving. I.
This was too much for the poor boy.
If there was one thing he liked before
another, it was ride with father, and
at night of all things. He cast himself
upon the bed and sobbed as if his heart
would break.
He rose from the bed and walked as
noiselessly as he could down the attic
stairs, but his mother, who was putting
Cynthia to bed, heard him, and called
out in an alarmed tone: who's there 2"
''It's me-" said George in q weak
voice.
"You back so soon? Why what's the
matter? Has anything happened to
your father? feline, child"
II didn't go with papa" sobbed
George. ''That's why I've been crying"
''Why, George, saw you CO." said his
mother
sit wasn't me; it was Bubble Boy
that foated in this afternoon"
At this moment the sound of wheels
was heard in the yard, and George said:
''There they are. They'll be in in
minute"
In less than minute his father came
in. 20, here you are" he said to George.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
BITS FOR THE HOUSEWIFE.
A Small Budget of Inform ton on
Culinary and Other
Matters.

To keep eggs-Eggs may be packed
with the small ends down in salt to keep
for winter use.
Raisins sink to the bottom of cake
when the batter is too thin or the
raisins have not been Toured.
Honey-If honey agrees with you
there is no reason why you should not
eat it now and then in moderate guam
titles.
Baked apples-Persons with gastric
intestinal indigestion must settle for
themselves whether or not they should
eat baked apples.
Oak stain may be purchased at any
paint shop. They will mix it for you,
and you can apply it yourself. You
may or may not, as you wish, varnish
the woodwork afterward.
A bilious child should not eat sweets
of any kind, nor fried food or soft
cereals. Whatever starchy foods are
taken should be properly baked and
thoroughly masticated.
Fruit stains may be removed from
linen by carefully brushing with dilute
oxalic acid, and plunging the linen at
once into water to which has been add
ed few drops of ammonia.
Impurs water-f there is the slight.
est danger of water being contaminat.
ed with poisonous germs, boil it, and as
soon as it is cold put it into a water bot
tie and stand it in the refrigerator to
cool. Use distilled water if you can
get it.
Maple sugarlicing-scrape the maple
sugar; add little water and pour il
over the cake, and allow it to harden, OF
boil it with butter and little water un-
til brittle; stir until partly cool and
then use. The latter way makes a soft.
er icing.
Wheat griddle cakes-Beat two eggs
without separating until very light;
add one cup of milk, a level tablespoon.
full of butter melted, cupful and hall
OF flour; beat thoroughly; add tea
spoonful of baking powder, and bake
on a hot griddle.
To remove kerosene from wall pape,
Cover the spots of kerosene with full
er's-earth or French chalk BY holding
a piece of blotting paper over, and put
ting warm iron on the outside of the
paper, you may be able to absorb a par,
of the grease into the chalk.-Ladies
Home Journal.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
No sku1, for an Irish Fair.

In Ireland recently quarrel had
taken place at a fair and culprit was
being sentenced for manslaughter.
The doctor, however, had given evil
dence to show that the victims skull
was abnormally thin. The prisoner, on
being asked if he had anything to say
for himself, replied: NO, yer honor,
but would ask was that skull for
a man to go to . fair wild Chicago
Chronicle.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
She Might Have known.

Mr.. Peck-I see there's Judge in St.
Louis who says there are times when
man is justified in slapping his wife.
Mrs. Peck-Yes, and suppose you
agree with him, don't you?
Il should say not! If I held such a
view as rnat do you suppose you would
have esca5ed up to this
His@ast words were drowned by the
noise hehade while tumbling down the
stairs leading to the street entrance
Chicago Evening News.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06

First Actor-Oh, no! I could never
stand that!
Second Actor-What's the trouble?
First Actor-Why, here's an offer of
an engagement in a realistic war play,
and they want me to eat real embalmed
beef!-Puck.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
MalictOuS.

The Bore-I assure you, madam, that
my dear friend here and l are two souls
with but a single thought.
The Lady-Indeed? And which of
you has possession of the thought to-
day ?-Fliegende Blaetter.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
A Practical Father.

Wife-Why shouldn't Mr.. Goodsoul
make nice husband for our daughter?
Husband-Won't do. He's misera-
bly, paid, wage-earning producer.
''Well, how about Mr.. kindheart?"
'He won't do, either. He's a poor,
money-spending consumer"
Hum! The only other one she cares
for is Mr.. Hardhead."
Hell do. He's middleman."-N.Y Y.
Weekly.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
MISSING THE JUBILEE.
There Was One Woman Who Seemed
to BE Ignorant of the Fact
That Peace Had Come.
0Z21s E3:l2:l:lz,lE

It was in the midst of the peace jubilee
and the editor was the busiest individual in
town, but the visitor got in on him, and,
what was worse, sat down and showed other
signs of remaining, none of which the editor
encouraged.
Excuse me-" said the visitor of his own
volition, .but can't l ask you an important
question:"
what is it," responded the editor, with.
out looking up from his work, which is al.
ways a sign that anybody ought to under.
stand.
"Ain't this peace jubilee we're having in
this town."
1T certainly is"
"And the peace jubilee is celebration OF
peace, amt it,"
Exactly"
'And peace means that war is of, don't
"Of course it Does"
"And that the olive branch is hang
ing low, and that everybody is falling
on everybody else's neck, and that every
body is glad the war clouds have rolled by,
and that good fellowship is now prevailing
everywhere, and that every bosom throbs
responsive to the gentle COO of the dove, and
that everybody is wearing white wings, and
that there won't be any more scraps, and
that everybody is kissing and making up;
it means that, don't it?
Exactly" responded the editor, pleased
from such an unsupported quarter.
81 thought so" said the visitor, rising
"Il go back home and tell my wife about it.
When left there an hour ago I don't be-
lieve she knew it had happened. Good
morning" And the visitor went out before
the editor had time to extend his sym.
pathy.- Washington Star.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
"Dlg Four Glft:'-Neely's Spanlsh.Ameri-
can War Panorama.

Contains 100 superb half-tone engravings,
made from photographs taken of our Army
in camp, on transports and in actual service,
Spanish and American Gun-boats, Cuba, Ha-
vana, Manila, Landscapes, Architecture;
shows the manners and customs of the peo-
pie of our new Islands; Pictures of our He
roes-Dewey, General Charles King known
as Capt. Charles King, the author) Wheeler,
Hobson, Roosevelt, Sampson, Miles, Schley,
Shafter, Lee, Brooks, Carroll; Groups Of
Officers, Cavalry, Artillery, Infantry, Ships,
.Rihe-practice, Spanish Soldiers, Insurgents,
Chickamauga, Jacksonville, Tampa, Last
Farewell Letters Home, Hospitals, Clara
Barton, Rough Riders, Santiago, San Juan,
Manila, the Beautiful Women Of Cuba and
Manila.
The Album is 5axs inches, weighs IL
ounces, printed on finest coated paper.
Sent FREE to any address in the United
States, Canada or Mexico for - cents in
stamps or coin, to cover postage and pack
ing. Copy may be seen at any ticket Office
of the Big Four Route.
Order at once, as the edition is limited.
Address WARREN J. LYNCH, General
Passenger and Ticket Agent, ''Big Four
Route Cincinnati, Ohio.
Mark envelope "War Album"
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
"Your Medicine Worked wonders.,

81 had been sick ever since my mar
riage, seven years ago; have given
birth to four children, and had two
miscarriages. l had falling of womb,
leucorrhea, pains in back and legs;
dyspepsia and a nervous trembling of
the stomach. Now I have none of these
troubles and can enjoy my life. Your
medicine has worked wonders for
me.'-MRs. S. BARNHART, New CASTLE,
PA
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06

Jenllins-Baby not well-eh? You
ought to call in DIR. Brown. We sent
for him last week, and the moment he
saw our baby he guessed what the
trouble was.
Jackson--What was it?
Jenkins--Pins.-The Rival.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
A Talented Youth.

johnnie wish l was Tommy Jones.
Mother-Why? You are stronger
than he is, you have better home, more
toys and more pocket money.
Johnnie-Yes, i know, but he can
wiggie his ears.-N. Y. Journal.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
UncaM ny.

Little Virginia-My mamma says you
live in haunted house.
Little Winnie-The idea! We don't
either. Nobody ever heard of ghost
being inside of our house.
Little Virginia-Yes, but it's always
haunted by a crowd of collectors.-Chi-
cago Daily News.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
The Exact Situation.

City Miss Gin rural book storei-Have
you "Wooed and Won?"
Clerk (blushing)-Not yet, ma'am;
but I'm keeping steady company with
Sally Hacede, an my prospects are
good.-N. Y. World.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
Wasted HerOism.

"Clara and I hated awfully to take
off our new hats at the concert"
''But you did, didn't you?"
Eyes; and after the thing was over
we found out that three blind men sat
right behind us. "-Chicago Record.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
A Heavy Responsibility.

Mr.. Gotrox-I suppose you thorough
ly realize that marriage is a serious
matter?
Mr.. Dudely-Well, should say yes,
We know! Such deucedly twying and
sewious matter, deciding just whom to
-puck
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
His Suspicion.

Money" said the philosopher, may
often do more harm than good. Some
times the mighty dollar is a mans
worst enemy"
EYES," answered Senator Sorghum;
land I often feel that a number of peo-
pie love me for the enemies I have
made. "-Washington Star.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
His Only Opening.

Mrs. Johnson-Don't yo' feel terrible,
Mrs. Jackson, cause yo'r son Nose bin
arrested TO- stealin' chickens?
Mrs. Jackson (sobbing)-Y-yais. De
poor fellah won't be good TO- muffin
after dis disgrace except in politics.
Judge.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
The Cheerful Idiot.

81 do not believe in stut1ing children
with education" said the theorizine
boarder.
''And yet" said the Cheerful Idiot,
"every child should be at least little
ot.'-Indianapolis Journal.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
The Ball Season.

The time of year has now returned
When Johnny sadly cries,
And once again his grandmamma
Gives up the ghost and dies.
N. y. World.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
He'd Got 80 Used to 1t.

Pa.senger-Look here, guard; par
ticularly told you to wake me up at the
Junction.
Guard-And I tried hard to, sir; but
all could get out of you was: "Bur-
glars, Emma! stuff and nonsense. I
locked up everything myself" ALLY
Sloper.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
A Course Dinner.

Tramp hate ter trouble yer, marin,
but de lady acrost de street hez prom
Used me piece of pie, and de lady mex
door is goin' ter gimme some roast
beef, so fought I'd call an see if yer
wouldn't gimme a plate O. soup, so I
kin start me dinner right.-N. Y. Jour
nal
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
Emblem of Curiosity.

"Did it ever occur to you to wonder
how the interrogation mark origin
ated?"
Huh! Anyone can see that it is a
conventionalized rubber neck."-Indi-
annapolis journal.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
SartOrial Logic.
If clothes make the man,
AS I have read,
hen l am self-made,"
The tailor said.
Chicago Tribune.
Even Better.

''Did your picnic fulfill your expecta-
tons?"
''Oh, my, yes. 1t surpassed them. We
fully expected it to rain, but hail was
more than we anticipated" -Cincinnati
Enquirer.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
Labeled.

Look! There's colored messenpe,
boy running
Sure enough. They ought to adver.
tise him as warranted fast black -
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
AyertlnH a Tragedy,

Chappie-Averted tewibble twagedy
just now.
Chollie-No! How?
Chappie--Man said he would pound
me to mincemeat if did not give him
half a cwown, and I gave him half
cwown.-Tit-Bits.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
Never I.abOred.

First Tramp-They SEES pore oiu Bill
is dyin'. Is breath is labored.
Second Ditto-Then 'e's done for.
Bill could never live if any part of i'm
was laborin'.-Judy.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
IN TIME OF INFLUENZA.
Care Should he Excrcised in the Use
and Cleanliness of Hand
kerchiefa.

TIC ASAAUcICulc1 Is lAc ulOSI dCtl\c
agent in spreading Ia grippe. The
mother wipes the little patients nose,
then thoughtlessly tucks the handker-
chief in her belt, to be used upon her
own or the next small nose that needs
attention, and the results are just what
might be expected, for the patients eN-
pectoration is, of course, alive with dis
ease germs. The handllerchiefs or
cloths may be kept under the pillow, or
in easy reach of the mother, and when
soiled taken to the woodshed and put
to soak in cold water in which little
odorless disinfectant (this comes for
so cents a bottle and can be procured at
any druggist's) has been stirred, then
when you have leisure attend to them,
putting them into washboiler, more
than covering them with cold water in
which pearline has been dissolved, al
lowing two dessertspoonfuls of the
powder to each pailful of water used
(this is a large allowance, but the disin-
fectant hardens the water, so more is
needed, then letting them boil briskly
for about 20 minutes, when the dis
agreeable mucous will have been dis
solved so that the articles can be sudsed
and rinsed very quickly-a great i'm
provement upon the old method of rub
bling each Shiny piece before putting it
into the boiler.
Do not let the articles boil over 20
minutes; longer might cause them to
yellow.
The disinfectant spoken of above is
also excellent for spraying the patients
room, and for pouring (only a very
small quantity down the bowl or ves-
sel.-Boston Budget.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
ALREADY AN EXPERT.

Husband-Don't bother me, my dear.
I'm studying political economy.
Wife-Well, you needn't work so hard
at it. Goodness knows, you're sutfi-
GENTLY strong on the economy part of
it now.-Petit Journal Pour Rire
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
Not So Bad.

MY wife is great with pistol"
3 ''She is?''
Yes; she fired at a burglar the other
night and hit the electric button, which
set an alarm going all over the house.
Chicago Record.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
Pinninr Hin, Down.

He I believe that man should let
his acts speak for themselves.
She-Am I to understand then that
when you took my hand in yours last
night you intended it as proposal of
marriage?-Chicago Daily News.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
Sweet Thing.

The lovely girl in the candy shop
Is blushing like rosy wine,
For out in front her signing swain
Stands under the swaying sign.
Chicago Tribune.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
Serving CLAIMS, Either Cooked or Rnw

OF ali the mollusks, clans are the
most difficult of digestion. The little
soft clans or mussels, such as one gets
along the New England coasts. are bet
ter simply steamed or baked. The
large hard-shell CLANS that are sup
piled to the greater part of the United
States are better chopped fine and made
into bouillon or chowder. The hard or
muscular part of both oysters and
CLANS is more indigestible than the
softer portion. For serving raw, and
on the shell, select cherrystone. the
little neck, or sand crab.-Ladies' Home
Journal,
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
Wealth..

If lectures about wealth you scan,
This general thought you'll see
Its dangerous for the other man.
But very good for me-
Wa Shington Star
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
DiaEnOsfng Her Case.

He-If l were rich, darling, would You
love me more than you do?
She-I might not love you any more, Hea--
wedding day with a degree of impa tience
that never seems to possess me at present.
Chicago Evening News.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
HeirlOOma.

Naught goes to waste, though years ma
fit
And change is what the people love;
Those oldtime anecdotes will fit
The brand new hero like glove.
Washington Star
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
The an, Il X fnsu PPOR.PeaS

The lamb that gamboled on the green
With many frisk and hop
Now on the gambrel stick is seen
Before the butcher shop.
-ChicagO Daily News
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
Like Some kfnds-Not Others

Algy-Are you-aw-fond of ami
mails, Miss Jennie?
Jennie-Well. like dogs ard cats,
but 1 don't care for dudes.-Harlem
Life.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
Irony.

Irony.
Oh, how l love to watch the rain
In tiny drops come down.
When 1 have left my macintosh
At the other end of town!
Chicago Daily News.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
Overheard in a Cemetery.

Boyle-I am strongly opposed to crema.
ton: think it is carrying things entirely
too far.
Coyle-How so?
1--WE would then be compelled not only
to earn our living but to urn our dead."-
n. Y. World.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06

eyes, dat's de same Casey dat ulster
clean out Finnegan's saloon every Sat-
urday night! "-N. Y. Evening Journal.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
An Expert.

Silas-1s your son still practicing medi.
cine?
-Reubcn-Nope. He's learnt it now.-N.
Y. journal.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
Conflicting Emotions.

COnH1ctln8 EmOtiOhs.
Mrs. Joy-Oh, John, run for the ply.
sician. The baby's swallowed your diamond
stud!
Bachelor Brother-Physician be hanged
I'll bring a surgeon.-Jeweler's Weekly.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06
Family Duties,

Mabel-Wo what Mrs. Flayabout
does to kill time?
Sue-Why, she has bicycle and hus-
band, so she divides her time between them
blowing them up.-Cincnnati Enquirer.
Williston graphic. (Williston, Williams County, N.D.) 1895-1919, 1899-07-06

Mother-It's dreadful, doctor, my
boys bow legs! Can't anything be
done for him?
Doctor-O, they'll come out all right
in time. Why, I had bow legs when
was child myself!-Der Floh.