The San Francisco call., 1899-07-16

munity lust now than pork-packer
or even a philanthropist who endo"s
a church out of the proceeds OF the
sale Of embalmed beef. Under his IN
fiuence the drawing-room conversation
and even the club talk Of Chicago mas
become refined like pure leaf lard, ana
a member, Of the upper set Wouldn
talk of satlsages at soiree for car
load of sausageS.
In this aspiration for self-culture
there is always an audible. expression
of delight from the Chicagoan When-
ever he gets a new bit of veneerlng
over some part of his mental furniture
where the natural grain or ignorance
has been hitherto exposed in the raw
Hence incidents
Not long ago a distinguished visitor
went to Chicago and by request dehV-
cred a lecture on Omar Khayyam De
fore a very self-selected literary So
ciety. The president. of the club sat
on the platform and fairly glowed with
rapture all the evening. From the
brightness of the face of him casual
stranger in the audience might nave
supposed he had guessed right on
wheat: When the lecture was over
however, he explained the cause of his
Joy. 1--WE are greatly indebted to the
speaker" said he to his fellow self
cultured, "for we never before knew
the difference between Omar Khayye-m
and Hunyadi Janos."
The letter writing crank is ubiqui-
tous and he is as gayly variegated as
q cockatoo. New York has fine speci-
men of him-perhaps the finest of the
summer He has been arrested for
sending love-letters to Miss Helen
Gould, his capture being due to the fact
that, not content with sending many
through the mails, he called at the
house and delivered some of them in
person.
When, called upon by an inquisitive
law to explain his conduct he said he
had read Of Miss, Gould's noble and
generous actions and thought she mer-
tied the love as well as the admiration
of every patriotic American; therefore,
believing that all people who deserve
commentator ought to receive it, he
had written to express his as best he
could and as often as he could. He
had taken some letters to the house
himself instead of sending them
through the mails simply because he
had not enough money to buy two cent
postage stamps. He pleaded that his
love is disinterested and pure, and in
proof cited the fact that in none of his.
letters had he ever asked Miss Gould
to marry him or to give him a dime.
The argument had a very different
effect from that intended by the defen-
dant The Judge before whom he was
tried, after giving all the facts due
consideration, came to the conclusion
in his New York judicial mind that
man who would make loye to an heiress
without expecting money must be
crazy, so ne sent the letter writer to
an asylum, and thus deprived the un-
appreciative Miss Gould of the only
disinterested lover she ever had in her
life. or is ever likely to have.
There are people who delight In the
mysterious, who gather up instances
of premonitions and presentiments of
coming death. and make out of them
strange proofs of yet stranger philo-
sophies. and these also are entitled to
q place in the list of the varieties of
our life.
A very good story of their kind has
been made public in some of the remin-
iscences of Congressman Bland, which
followed his death few weeks ago.
Despite their differences in politics
and their many battles on the floor of
the House over questions of tariff or
finance, Bland was a great friend of the
late Nelson Dingley. The two men
were very much together for years dur
ing their service in Congress, and the
warmth of their attachment for
one another was frequently noted.
When Dingley died Bland was very
much affected, and it is recalled that
he said to q friend: 81 feel all right
myself just now, and am about as we'll
as ever, but somehow I am convinced
/ shall not survive Dingley a year"
The incident is the more interesting
because that is the only time on rec
ord when BANDS convictions were
confirmed by results.
Some cranks are forever trying to
set the courts to grinding out redress
for all mankind and cures for every
thing that irritates. The extension
given of late by the courts to the scope
of writs of injunction has greatly en-
couraged this type, and there are very
few things that haven't been enjoined
in some part of the Union in the last
few years.
A Texas man heads the list of this
type so far by applying to the court to
enjoin his wife from receiving the COM
pany of a certain good-looking neigh
bor If the injunction stick. the busi-
ness of courts will largely increase and
lawyers will have a chance to get rich
though honest If wife may by in
junction be restrained from receiving
visits, why may she not be enjoined
from bargain sales, or from keeping
lapdogs?
Finally, let us give heed to the Amer
lean poet-the singer of the day, who
harps not upon worn-out themes of
love or duty or beauty or booty, but
of current events, the latest sensa-
tions; and who rolls his rapturous
rhapsodies round the records of our
new inventions and our freshest feel
ings. Here is how Boston bard