The age-herald., 1899-01-11
MEDITATIoNs OF MIR. COOLEY.
On the Fashion Crrze O. Literary Lion Hunt
 ing.

l ing.
 | From the Chicago Journal.
 | Wan iv tn things that ye'd notice about
 Chicago, Hinnissy, if yed lived here as
 long I have," said MT. Dooley, lis tn
 sthrong way we've come along on lthra- | choor Whin I was a young man tn only tithry guy we had was Tim Scanlan, that l wrote "Th' Jackets Green'-ye know tn
 song. It begins 'Whin was maiden fair | an young-Scanlan was an ol bachelor an
 had no hair-an Long John Wentworth, l that owned a newspaper an inthrojooced | tn first steam fire injne iver seen in tn | west. mind whin a man be tn name iv | Charles Dickens came here-he was a | Sassenach-an thried fir to separate us | IT m our good money, an they was a ball i that night iv tn Happy Sons of tn Glory 1 ous West, an tn la-ad talked to tn man
 that had his books on sale an the janitor
 iv the ball. All tn other pathrons iy
 lithrachoor wint to tn ball.
 | Ils different now. They'se as nanny | authors in Ar-rchey road as I've unpaid | tabs in tn drawers. About tn same num- 1 ber Young Hogan is prsidint iy tn Sons | lV Saint Josepr an O'Mara Khy-am sodal- | lty. lie tells me that this here OMara is | an alas fr lithry guy be tn name iy | Fitzgerald I've knowed a few E'itzgeralds l Wan iv thim used to r-run a hall down he l Halsted sthreet, an they was another in | tn Wather office, but 1 wuddent name | Caseys COW afther ayether iv thim let | alone sodality. An instead of tn young 1 ladies sewin society they've started tn
 Mrs. Humphrey Ward an Pleasure club | an Molly Donahue's tn head iv that What
 do they do? Well, 'tis this way. Whin l ahhy man writes so nanny pieces fir tn | paper where he lives that no wan'u have | anything to do with him. they sizd him q | letther askfn' him to come out an r-read | his pieces to thim. Thin they vie a ball | fr to pay tn ixpinses an sind the proceeds | to him- If he's a good man, an don't
 dhrink he comes out. They put him in tn i finest r-rOom at tn Transit house that two
 dollars can buy an young Hogan gets tn | raporther iv tn Halsted Sthreet Gazoot fir | to intherview him.
 | What dye think. iv our Worlds fair | city? says tn rayporther.
 | Rotton,' says tn lithry guy | Have ye seen amy iv tn lithry pro- | juce iv Chicago?'
 | - niver eat anything canned | What's ye'er opinyon iv tn Bible?' | A vastly overrated wurruck Tn char
 ackters Is not dhrawed firm nature an tn | language is coorse.'
 | "'Ye have a poor opinyon iv Shakes
 pere?
 | 'Th' worst in tn wurruld Have ye a l pitcher iv e? Well, here's twinty. Co., | now, ye impydint outcast an see that | they're printed in ye'er scand-lous an | odjous newspaper, which I despise he l says. "Th vileness iv tn press ivy America , | he says. is beyond anything I know he | says. Nanny an mannys tn time tn | privacy iv me r-room has been invaded be | reporthers, an tn secrets iv me ar-rt an | me life wrinched firm me, and thin they | didn't print more than half what I said' he | says. Co., he says, 'an' vent ye'er cursed | spite on me- he says. Tell thim ivrything l about me- he says. Tell thim I'm the gr-reatest livin' author; tell thim I'm the | mos fashionably dheressed man. he says | Tell thim wimen go mad over me- he says | Expose me naked to tn wurruld' he saws l Yell find a pitcher iv me there in a good l bathtub, attinded be tn Prince iv Wales
 he says. Alas he says, that a man iv my | standin' shud be so threated,' he says An
 he weeps an gives tn raporther an eight | clnt seegar an vollum iv his well known | thransatio iv Butthrick's Pattherns firm | tn original Greek.
 ''They had a Jew man out here tn other | day, the author iv a home called Childher | iv tn Get-to-hell-out-o t-of-this,' I think Ho-
 gan called it. I niver give tn Jews much | credit fir bein' lithry, an, be hiyins. they .niver me much credit fir anything else | But this lad was a lithry guy, all r-right
 He tayked in tn school hall undher the l auSPicSS " LII OHlaFa hny-amS, an saws | he: I'll make an ipigram,' he says This
 is tn wor-rst town, an this audjeence tn | twor-rst mob iv imported immigrants iver
 see,' he says. He didn't put it that sthrone. | but 1t sounded that way.
 I'm surprised to see ye here tonight' he | says fr none iv ye look as if ye iver armed
 more thin thirty cints in tn laundhry.' he | says, or had brains enough,' he says to
 buy ticket, he says. AS I said to an
 audjeence tn other night, in me style that's
 been so much copied ivrywhers' he says
 tn sea iv upturned faces befure me makes
 me want to go out an hang mesiIf f'r fear F | I'd be dhrowned,' he says T doubt if amy | lV yell understand annything I saw he
 says, but I'll, go ahead an read firm tb,
 wurruk iv tn gr-reatsst author was iver
 foaled, he says. That is,' he says. .mesilf ,
 he says. 'Th first selection he says Twill
 be "Th Pawn Shop Me Granpa Left to Me ,
 he says, "A wurruk he says, that T bava
 universally admired he says.
 | An come away an wint down to Finu
 canes hall an broke into tn dance iv in,
 Guemakers' union, an had time that re-
 mined me iv tn good oP days iv Cbicaeo
 befure tn r-run iv books was larger thin th,
 r-run of hogs.' '
 Why didn't ye poke him wan?" ascled
 MT. Hennessy.
 That ain't tn thrue lithry feelin'" said
 MT. Dooley. That was tn feelin' hefnre
 tn Ar-rt institoot was built, wbjn tbey
 used to give gr-reat author tn time iv bis
 life be takin' him out to. me oP frind Ar
 mour's an lavin' him belt steer over th,
 head with sledgehammer."
 | (CODVrPht 1SQQ