The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1899-02-17
CHIlDREh's FRIENDSHIPS.
POINTS TO BE CONSIDERED BY
"GROWN-UPs."
Children Like People Who Are
Nice, Not Those Who
Are Clever.

the author of Alice in WOnderlallu
for evidence that he understood the
way to win the affections of little girls
like Alice herself. He began, as we
read, by being serious and polite; ms
manner, as all who knew him Will re-
member, was composed, even to GER
tain Irimness of demeanor, and the hu-
NOR which lay under the surface was
reserved for the hours of matured con-
fidence, and never exhibited as a means
of attraction in the early stages OF ac-
uuaintance "Grown-ups," and espec-
tally men, are at a great disadvantage
in winning the affections of children,
for the latter are critical over a VIDE
range, and only appreciate over mar
row one; wherefore those who seek
their regard, and ultimately their al
lection, have ten chances OF making
blunder which will be remembered
against,one of scoring a success OF the
positive kind. The greatest mistake Oh
all, perhaps, is to try to be amusing.
An error in all cases where the speaker
has not got the social measure OF ms
company, it is nowhere more colby re-
ceived than by children, who have III
perfection the art of being severely np-
eral when they disapprove of a joke,
are intensely sensitive to being laughed
at. easily interpret what they only hair
understand, as "chaff," and only like
people because they are nice, and
never because they are clever.
They are, as a rude, shy of accepting
services, partly because they do not ike
it to be thought that they cannot 40
things for themselves, and are vastly
careful, if they do, that it shall not De
looked upon as involving a claim TOT
their regard. When they discover for
themselves that a grown-up person IS
not only friendly but useful, founda-
lions for solid affection are often lalo.
But the benefits conferred must come
impersonally And those who can carry
this atmosphere of good will and ser
vices as part of themselves, and lnsep-
arabic as the shadow under a tree, hnd
that children unconSciously gather TO
them. Then, if they pass in the final
examination which the closer relations
render possible, they may be rewarded
by warm. and even adoring devotion,
which lasts sometimes beyond the time
when stream and river meet"
Though it often passes away after
childhood, the affection of children Tor
their elders outside their family circle
has an advantage over that between
maturar friends. Once won, it is cas-
ily kept. Little hearts, once unlocked,
are ever open to the magic key, ana
eager to see and to add spontaneously
fresh merits to those who have en-
gagged their love- They are perfectly
true. and distance does not diminish
affection. Surprise and joy will almost
overwhelm them when the object OF
this uncovenanted affection reappears
suddenly after absence. The signs and
tokens of emotion are perfectly spon-
taneous. and often most prettily ex-
pressed. and the chances are in favor
of this deep affection having for its OBJ
iect some grown-up friend, and not
child. IT'S my beloved Uncle Tom.
exclaimed one little girl, her face quite
flushed with emotion, as the happy OBJ
iect of this attachment fwho will never
see 10 again). suddenly presents him.
self to an adoring little niece
POWER OF THE STORY-TELLER-
Women have an advantage over the
other sex in the general competition 1or
the liking of children. They are CENTER,
they are more attractively dressed; ana
children are particularly sensitive to
color and texture in dress, hating Things
harsh to touch; and women are much
easier to- make companions of-at the
start-and do not seem to be doing IL
ION purpose Later, men friends nave
perhaps equal chances; for they are ac-
knowledged to be almost the best chill
dren's story -tellers, and this is
mighty power, potent over their minus
and affections For the really gifted
child's story-teller, master OF MS alt,
will provide all the material for their
fancy to play with daily and improve
upon. He will create a whole world,
not necessarily a large world, but one
which will satisfy all their powers OF
IMAGINATION, people it with other chill
dren. and animals. who do as he wishes,
think as he desires, and are idenuhed
by his hearers with themselves and
himself in way which must create the
closest bonds of mutual interests and
responsibilities. These are not fieeting
impressions Greater lin their world)
than those who make the songs OF a
nation are those who provide the stor-
les for their children friends. For these
stories, once made, are never forgotten
They are repeated. by request, as often
as the maker will provide them; the
characters may develop, but must re-
main the same. for good or bad; and
the best beloved children, animals or
others in these epics of the nursery may
be as edifying and. didactic as the teller
likes to make them. If their united ex-
ample tends to incline his hearers to re-
gard the author as a person deserving
of their affections who can blame his
artful rhetoric? Its object is to please,
and by pleasing to gain it's reward, the
liking of the listeners.
The love of children won by elders
who are neither parents nor close rela-
lions is a special compliment, because
they cannot compete with children in
that physical beauty which has so
great an attraction for other children
This is the direct and spontaneous mo-
tive which induces love, almost at first
sight, between young children them
selves Yet except in the case OF
young and lovely women, we can hard
ly believe that children see much
beauty in their female elders, or in
men at ALL The Joint of view from
which they see US is against this sup
position. Those who are blessed with
good looks are too tall, in comparison
with them, ever to be seen TO ad-
vantage. To be looking up at giants,
seeing their features foreshortened from
below. the least becoming of all points
for the human face. cannot give them
a pleasing impression. Neither do we
see the beauty of children to the best
advantage as we look down IN their
faces foreshortened from above. That
is why the beauty of pretty children
always appears Irresistible when they
are in bed and their faces seen as they
lie on their pillows, or even In sleep.