The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-12-21

The latest English goIf-story is told
By Justice Lawrence against himself.
He ts an ardent golfer. Recently he
had . case before him in which he felt
Unnecessary to ask one Of the witnesses,
boy. the usual question whether he
Twas acquainted with the nature of an
saths The ingenious youth replied
'.0f Counsel ain; ANTI your caddiers
! A young woman who played tbs
pianoforte once asked Brahms,the COM
poser. a. to the.advisabiiity OF giving a
concert In Vienna "Are you allready,"
inquired Brahms. Certainly, dear
masterl may play something for
your '0h, no, MOI meant.only have
you q new gown and gloves7" Eyes,
SIR" ''Pity; otherwise L-shouM have
advised you not to.give the concert"
John ,Hare,once sent his .coachmanyto
10 certain theater to secure stalls, and
the man. who knew more about stables
than theaters, returned with what APP
peared to be difficult verbal message.
well, did you get the stalls7'' inquired
the actor. mo, sir,o said the coach
man; ''the stalls were all taken up, but
they told me they would be pleased to-
I-to"-he scratched his head and then
blurted QUITO put you in loose box,
lsirv'
The late Judge Charles p. DAILY, of
New York, was charming conversa-i
tionalist as well as model citizen aud
an accomplished jurist. He met the
Duke Of Wellington some fifty years
ago, and the Duke remarked to him that
he seemed too young to be on the bench.
81 owe my position" replied Judge
DAILY, Ito one OF those accidents of fofei
tune to which your grace owes so lit
tie" Il recall my criticism said the
Duke, grimly; you are doubtless where
You belong"
The recent death of Nine. Aubernon
de Nervi!,e In Paris recalls reply once
made to her by Dumas fills, who did not
enjoy certain kind of lionizing At
dinner at Nine. Aubernon's one even
ing, he sat next to a certain general,
who was disconnected by Dumas chilly
manner. why do you not tell the gen
!eral some Of your witty stories?' asked
the hostess, in n whisper. mon Dieu,
madame" replied Dumas, in his most
ingenious tone, "eyery one to his trade
u was waiting for him to fire off
cannon"
A financial agent of the Texas penl-
Tertiary had warmly opposed the cleo
ton of Gov. Houston, but was particu-
larly anxious to retain his own pleas
antly lucrative position. Consequently
the Governor was soon in receipt of Il
petition In which the man's years of
faithful service and special qualifica-
tions for the place were set forth In
glowing terms by himself. The Gov
ernor sent for him, and said, grayely:
1T appears from this petition that you
have been in the penitentiary eight
years? II have" was the reply And
during that time you have performed
faithfully every duty that has come in
your way, to the best OF your ability
Il have" answered the agent. his cour-
age rising. Then, sir" said the Gov
ernor, with the air of one comforting a
priceless favor, Il pardon you OUT
One of the applicants for consulate
In Japan, while James G. Blaine was
Secretary of State. was the late SAM
uel Kimberley of Baltimore, who died
in the service in Central America. After
he had presented his credentials. Mr..
Blaine said: Il should like to appoint
you, Mr.. Kimberley, but l have made
1t a rule to recommend no one who does
not speak the language of the country
to which he is sent. DO you speak Jap
anese?" "Cer-t-talnly, Mr.. Blaine
stammered Mr. Kimberley; "a-a-ask me
s-s-something in J-J-Japanese and I'll
a-aanswer YOU" Mr.. Blaine had not
word to say. but the Japanese post
went TO another man, all the same, and
Kimberley went to Central America.
One day Kimberley met young wonr-
an who threw her arms impulsiyely
around his neck and kissed him. See
ing her mistake, she drew back and an
grily asked: Aren't you Mr.. Jones?"
N-1o-no, madam" replied Kimberley,
bowling; I'm n-n-not. but w-w-wish
to thunder l w-w-was"