The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-12-25
PAID AN IMMENSE FEB
THE "PRoFESSoRv ESTABLISHED
A RECORD FOR HIGH PRICES.
Couldn't Play Anything, But Ratified
Off Few Old-timer's to His Pat
.ron's Complete Satisfaction-Re-
ceived 100000 Mine and Enough
Drinks For Happy Jag.
Chicago inter OCEAN,


on the table, and addressed any one
who might have. been listening. See
here, it fills me with unmitigated an
noyance when 1 read of Patti and Pad
erewski and other dago foreigners re-
celving $4,000 or $1,000 night for must
cal contortions, and being supposed to
carry the manner for high prices, when,
to my own perfect and individual
knowledge 1 know that honor belongs
to an American, and a friend of mine
| at that
L never heard of an American get
ting such prices" said The man who
was watching the thermometer.
That does not necessarily imply any
thing, answered the Hon. Mr.. Pidg-
kins, attempting sarcasm. The gentle
man l refer to received 100000 for
playing a wedding march, and it wasn't
wedding march, either. ~ 9Rs
Did you court the money! respond
ed the man at the thermometer, as the
mercury rose several degrees in SYM
cathv.
NO; but I was at the wedding
"Ch, well, let's hear of the beautiful
bride with 100000 wedding marches,
and later on You may inform much
believing public how her rousseau was
made. of bank notes, and her bridal veil
of government bonds, while $40 gold
pieces were substituted for orange BIOS
sons"
Now, don't you get impairment.
young fellow" replied the Hon. Mr..
Pidgkins, for 1 am telling facts. 1t
was back in 80, and 1 was living in
Edenville, Cal, a mining town which
then had 1000 inhabitants, but is now
wiped off the map"
Did too manx weddings take place
II manfred a a
mometer.
Don't interrupt. You see. Michael
Casey had one daughter and several
mining claims, and, although rich and
proud, was as tight. as a porous plas-
ter when it came to paying money.
Now, his daughter was to marry Tom
Dolan, middling sort of fellow, and
old Casey swore all day she should
have the grandest wedding Edenville
ever saw. and then he lay awake nights
thinking how he could save the ex
pense-"
Il have known several who must have
belonged to the Casey tribe" solemnly
said the man with the unlit cigar.
casey's Plan For Saving.
WELL continued the Hon. H. c.
Pidgkins, among the mines that Casey
had was one called the Smile of For
tune, which was simply a hole in the
ground, and looked like the we'll where
the old oaken bucket used to hang.
This mine was worthless, and every
body in Edenville knew it. So Casey
he rents the piano in the dance hall in
Edenville, paying SO cash, and then
goes to the White Horse camp for a
piano player who would take stock in
the Smile of Fortune instead of money
for his services, the musician at Eden
Vile demanding $50, also hard cash"
''Casey's name should be er,-blazoned
on the scroll with those of our ablest
financiers," interrupted the young man
who was reading magazine poetry.
We'll, Casey he hunted up the young
fellow, who was known as the pro-
fessor, and who ratified off popular
songs, jigs, reels, ETC., by ear, on an
ancient piano, for any one who would
set 'em UP.
e Sir began the dignified Casey, can
you play a grand march. or maybe two
or three of them for a wedding?'
Nav said the professor.
Why not?'
Because 1 don't know none
But insisted the insulating Mr.
Casey, 'supposing the pay was extrava-
giant and the emoluments extraordi-
nary, could you not then fulfill the con-
ditions?'
Well. replied the astute piano
mangler, If there is dough in 1t, guess
l might What's de price?'
Casey began with a grand elocution-
airy flourish OF the hand L have in
Edenville a mine, temporarily Idle, but
which has undoubtedly hidden beneath
its uninviting surface untold wealth.
/ felt l could not work the mine my
self, owing TO failing eyesight, so L
lately disposed of a one-half interest
for price am not at liberty to state,
and will give you the other half for
your musical effusions at my daugh-
ters wedding The fact was, he had
given the half interest TO his butcher
in liquidation of a S7.35 meat bill.
1.-The piano clawer popdered a mo-
ment and then asked. Is grub and liq-
uor included?'
Yes responded the generous Mr..
Casey.
Then I'll take it,
The papers were Immediately made
out, the contract signed. and they de-
parted for Edenvil e, both hi shly elated.
Casey, that he had saved $50, and the
piano scratcher that he had a good
time in prospect, with free lunch and
liquor, never giving a thought of the /
mine.
THE net day was the wedding. !
Casey was Respondent in red shirt |
with sunfiower ON his breast. The |
bride had scrubbed the cabin floor |
clean and neat in the morning. and had |
put on her best calico gown. Tom
Dolan looked like prince in a cordu-
roy suit, with a huge watch chain he |
had borrowed for the occasion The |
guests were numerous and e1pectantly |
happy. and all was as merry as ii ought |
10 be. The piano player had had a few !
thinks in advance, just to timber up |
MS fingers. so he said, and was ready |
at the call of time TO sail in and knock |
spots out Of the old box.
Form For the Grand March.
Now, professor said Mr. Casey, /
waving his two arms about in what he |
thought was a graceful and becoming |
manner, the ladies and gentlemen will |
adjourn to the next room, so they can /
march back in while you give us the |
Wedding marches from Low and Green,
md other eminent composers, such as
he finesc society is accustomed to in
III select circles.
THE minister took his place next to
he piano. The company filed out and
hen filed in again. The pro-
essor mopped his forehead with his
leeve. wet his fingers with his tongue
o keep them from slipping, and sailed
n with the pedal nailed down on She
las Fallen By the Wayside'; then,
branching off to Where Is My Wander
ng Boy Tonight? and Who Will Care
ror Mother Now? When the minister
Judged him two or three times he
topped and went out to get a drink.
while the ceremony proceeded.
after they were tied good and hard,
dr. Casey wanted some more wedding
marches in commemoration of this
.reat and glorious occasion, and the
Professor consented. provided a drink
vent along with every |:arch, and 50