The times., 1899-12-24

don't know. quoth she. Jack says that
they don't do half as nicely as the High
school Cadets Jacks a High School Ca
det himself and he ought TO know
You liked them persisted the other, a
bit crestfallen.
They did their best, was the patroniz-
ing reply. y could see how most people
would enjoy them bur anyone who knows
about drilling
DO you2'
Well used to see the Cadets every
YEAR,
The sweet-voiced girl apparently was de-
lighted On said she then you can
tell me why those red trousers fitted so
badly They bothered me an through the
show. 90
"Of course" answered the wise one,
with confidence. The uniforms were made
bsfore The men were enlisted. They al
ways are.
Dear me sighed her frierd. lis that
really the reason I suppose the pants
we're too short and that that accounts for
The white things around their ankles.
"No-o-o declared the admirer of our
local boys. These canvas togs support
their legs when they hold each other Oh
their shoulders"
An old fellow seated near unfolded his
paper in an attempt to make il hide his
face.
4 see. assented the guiIeless And
why did the tall man on tle end say.
Humph every time the soldiers did any
rhing2"
lie only said Humph when they did it
wrong and he was disguised.
We'll, I think ne was real mean. They
ali tried hard
That makes no difference asserted the
knowing young lady Sometimes they did
awfully. Once every man in the bun
line let his gun slip and it whizzed around
and around before he caught it,"
j noticed that came the admission.
There We're suspicious sounds from be-
mind the newspaper and material indi-
vidaal in the corner grew red in the face
Heedlessly the inquist0r continued:
And, Agnes. what made them climb that
wall2 Why didn't they get a ladder
Agnes evidently annoyed at the inter
ruption of a moment before, replied. Il
guess the captain must have forgotten the
ladder. / heard him muttering Left
Left-Left,
This time a burst of laughter caused
embarrassment on the part OF both. There
was a minutes pause, and then.
But Agnes. why did they run all the
while?"
oh quoth Agnes. The first half of
the programme was very long They must
have been in q hurry
And a one-armed veteran on the plat
form fell eli the car
At least this is what the Grand's press
agent swears. But then the "Streator"
Zouaves come there this week and the
story may not be true.
The representative OF Robert Mantel has
been getting u q deal of fine work for mis-
star since Thursday. and much Of it is in
the storytelling field. The best of the col
lection exploited concerns an episode of
last year in Philadelphia. Mr. Manteu was
playing "A Secret Warrant at one of the
uptown theatres in that city, and had been
doing an excellent business. On the third
day of the engagement there was q lohg
line before the box office window, and the
treasurer was considerably annoyed when a
rustic opposite him paused in deep thought
instead Of purchasing seats and departing
Finally, when that Individual had rumi-
mated q moment, the agent yenured 70
ask: What can / do for you?'
The farmer appeared to waken. He
stroked MS chin a bit, ehewed an end OF
his mustaehe. and queried: HulIo, stran-
ger whuJs III taX2'
Tax" repeated The man behind the
board.
MN, nodded the other "whut du yu
hev ter pay?"
oh" said the treasurer. understand
ing. "A dollar and a half downstairs.
dollar upstairs"
"Whut's goin on"
Robert Manteu"
Downstairs? o.
"A dollar and a half downstairs A dol
lar upstairs"
HIM answered the rustic .whuts
goin' on upstairs.
The public promoter is willing to wager
any sum that lhe prodigal came from
iown which harbored a dime museum
But the line waited.
There is a faint probability. however.
that the treasurer of the Robert Mantell
yarn merely was the victim Of a joke This
world holds people who have queer ideas
Of humor and unpleasant methods of eX-
pressing them Hobart Brooks. who has
been doing some off-and-0n writing for
Naughty Anthony, relates proof Of the
statement in an anecdote concerning Olive
Redpath, bright youth, and the city Of
Baltimore.
The incident took place when Miss Red
path was playing in The French Maid :"
With Anna Robinson. another. member Of
q he company. she was standing in front of
the Auditorium, where both had attended
a matinee when she observed two fiashy
men near Each had his eyes fastened on
the pair and the pretty comedienne caught
a snatch OF their conversation. Mighty
trs-io0kiug women" the younger Of the
team was remaTking.
Yes. replied the elder. They're Olive
Redpath and Anna Robinson. Like an in
PRODUCTION 2'
And then, before either actress could
guess what was about TO happen the duo
OF promising lads walked up Miss Red
path, quoJh the last speaker. Miss Red |
path-hiss Robinson, let me make you
acquainted with my friend. Mr. Smith"
Miss Robinson seemed puzzled and put
out her hand but Miss Redpath was frozen !
stiff with righteous Indignation That's /
well enough. she said TO the boy, but /
who's TO introduce YOU"
However, that hopeful was not TO be |
made unhappy by a glance or a word SmiI- !
ing and win calm assurance. he replied: |
Oh, don't care for an introduction" And |
then he walked away.
Mr. Brooks declares that the desert ed |
one consumed fifteen minutes In proclaim /
ing his innocence
AMI sENfENTS.