The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1899-06-02
IRELAND l<KLlNGS.


, Mr.. Editor, Betsy an some NOR,
! women wnz out calm, an in thei
rounds met up with some more gooC
sisters, an ov course as there heC
! been racket up il the east end be
tween two ov the sisters few day.
before, they naturally had to stoI
an discuss the matter. When
passed 'em by is where the fur
comes in. They wuz a crossin bat.
on who Uncle Sampson wuz, list
like u boys ust to do when WE'D
( choose up to play bull pen at school
Some said one and some said tothef
but sister - said that sister A ac-
cused sister Green from the north
side writin' the nasty items, an
told her list draw the line an a
whole lot more, that | will tell YOU
when they git that talkin' machine
to workin'. You see, Mrs. A is
a thumpin' big woman and weighs
bout two hundred pounds. les,
she wuz a goin' TO scratch Mrs.
Green bali-headed. Mrs. Green
wuz innocent an couldn't say emmy
thing. When she would AK fur an
explanation, Mrs. A would say
jist draw the line iist draw the line |,
know your nasty old items. Gin
ger bread and gooseberries You
wouldn't hear this rooster sayin'
anything because some Teller told
told the truth on me. Betsy saws
she hates it very much cause |
told bout them people dancin'.
didn't say any more bout them
dancin' than | would said bout
emmy one else. Betsy says it makes
whole LOT of difference whose bull
Is being gored, bout who kicks.
Another thing, Mr.. Editor. a
strange feller tumbled in here tother
day almost out OF breath. He had
a sort ov crazy thing with him the
women call bi-bi- bicycle. or some
sort ov thing, | list don't know
what kind ov machine il l.. Betsy
calls il "A woman catcher. fur heap
ov the women are f0igttin' their
bibles an ale takin intru-t in that
hare thing The gentleman saws
he Is goin to take the ladies out on
the green TO practice, as il is very
embarassin 10 practice in public,
YOU see. Mr. Editor. this man sells
q csc machines, but first lets all who
want to learn, to ride, and ov course
az er they once larn to ride. that
gives them good appetite to buy
one. Betsy says if the women knew
what some ov the doc ors said bout
women ridin' them things surely
they would not get on them. The
gentleman dom. AK them that is
able to buy to ride, but generally
the Youngsters. There's several
Aunts amply able TO buy ma
chine an are anxious to larn.
You know, Mr.. Editor, when
strange Teller comes to town that
looks sorty fixifide, all the young
gals, old maids, SEINE married WON
en- and the widders fall all to pieces,
and iist git dead gone on him. Mr..
Editor, you list mark il down in
your Sunday hat if | hear ov Betsy
ridin' one ov them .hings. or
smilin' kinder soft to that thar fell
Ter, there will be split in the blank
ct 'twix. Betsy and me. | don't
think she will, fur she saws the
women jist disgust her talkin bout
the doin's ov the people anyhow.
You see, Mr. Editor, society WON
en- and rail down good pious moth
ers. are not cognate, an Betsy saws
she thinks the latter should use all
the Influence they have in warnin'
little gals 'tout the danger in cul-
twain society graces an practices.
Prov. %: IL, says, 'sThe mouth ov
strange women is deep pit; he
that is abhorred ov the Lord shall
fall therein" Uncle Sampson is
not going TO say that thar's emmy
strange women in our hamlet, but
he thinks if thar isn't, some ofthem
had better take down their single,
because strange fellers comm here
ak Uncle Sampson hard questions,
that he don't like to answer.
Mr.. Editor, Black Diamond John
ny, and son Elmer, have took Steen
Graves 10 TO the paintin' business,
and expect to 'neciate Sieve at OF
well, az soon "a the weather clears
up. Look out, they will make a
swift team.
III the women don't scratch nv
eyes too bad will write agin next
week. Betsy says If you would
move the printin' office down here
you would have all tie news YOU
want. ! low you would have to en-
large your press, hal hal ha!
UNCLE SAMPSON.