The times., 1899-01-09
A HOAX ON PONCE.
\ Young Georgian Perpetrntcs an
tnintrntion-I Joke


\ number of young American adyen-
turers in Ponce were living on a side
street of the plaza in a house of their
own. They had rented ii entire. installed
their own servants and bought and borrow
ed enough furniture to make Il habitable,
and were keeping house in their own hap
hazard way.
One day one Of these young men learned
the fact that IL was just twenty y-nine
years ago that he was born down on
Georgia plantation. Therefore, there must
be a celebration in keeping with the mag
nitude OF the anniversary. II began in the
afternoon and continued through the great
cr part Of the evening. by which time mer-
riment was above par Every one felt
bully. despite the dinner. which consisted
mainly OF goldfish, beans and rice. supple
mented by raid on the canned goods Of
the army commissary. Il was not the food
that had done IL, but The drink. and
tongues were wasging at that rate which
has usually been reached after the thir-
teenth bowl.
The Georgian who was celebrating his
natal day was tall red-headed chap
with a pronounced gift Of the CAB. He
had once been a professor of elOcution
down his way. and he could spread eagle
| with the best Georgia cracker that ever
| stumped that State. And the inspiration
came to him. having been well dinsd apd
| so recently made quasi citizens OF his
own country. There was no d.fficulty
| about an audience The quantity OF noise
| that had been let loose within the con-
| fines OF the house had escaped into the
| street to such an extent that there were
| at least 300 natives standing outside in
| wild-eyed wonder at the proceedings
| within. They imagined, apparently that
/ the Americans were beating one another
al. HI
| Georgian threw wide the shuttered doors
| and stepped upon the piazza a murmur OF
| joyous surprise ran through the crowd.
| Striding to the railing around the piazza
which overlooked the street. the orator
| buttoned his linen coat about his tai,
| spare figure and began
| My brothers de Porto Rico. he sad
with roll of his RS that at once stamped
him as born actor kept from behind the
| foot lights by an incomprehensive fate
Viva Americana" shouted the crowd,
| understanding the name Porto Rico. which
was in itself great compliment to the
Speakers Spanish accent.
! My dear brothers de Porto Rico" re-
peated the orator. why dent you mind
your own business? What in the devil do
you come hanging around here fore
| Haven't you sense enough TO see that 4
gentleman from Georgia is entertaining his
lTlenus on MS nttdi udE LODSttrS anu
scorpions that you are, you make me
sick
Viva Americana, Muncha buenO,"
howled the crowd, convinced that the ora
Tor had paid them fitting tribute.
when | sailed from my native land. .
continued the speaker, Il was filed with
an inspiration. | was burning TO come to
your country and fight and die. If need be-
20 lift from your proud necks the Span
ish yoke of tyranny. The freedom that
was mine beneath Old Glory's folds should
be yours. thought. if my life's blood. as
a sacrifice. could win for you that boon
And now. my brothers de Porto Rico. YOU
are free.
Il weep at the very thought, for what
has been your return for our chiyalric
kindness? 1t is a sad thought but YOU
have given US the dinky-dink: you have
robbed us; you have charged US three
prices for everything you have had to sell.
from a Spanish military button to 4 cab
ride. Traitors. ingrates, towards, if We
had you down in Georgia we'd fill you full
of holes.
'Bueno. bueno; mucha bueno," shriek-
ed the auditors. Americana mucha
/ bueno, Viva, Vivai"
And the next day one of the Ponce pa
pers printed an item concerning the cele-
: bration. which. being translated. was as
follows:
a number OF American gentlemen gave
an entertainment last night at their house
on the Gale de Reina, after which one OF
, their number delivered an Grafton COM
plimenting the citizens OF Porto Rico. The
speech was received by our citizens with
much qualification and enthusiasm
This was really so pathetic that no one
ever told them how they had been sold.