Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-10-24

Manner, but the Chances Are He
Got What He Was After.
Yes said the tall. loose jointed
man at the telephone, that's the mum
| Der 1 want-229. -
Double two miner" queried the
voice at the central office.
''Well, / don't know that double two
nine is any better than the plain, or
| binary two. two, nine. but if you insist
on that style suppose we say double
two single nine and get it exactly right
Hellol Is that Spotcash & Co %
| yes" responded the voice at the
other end of the wire
''Is Mr.. Spotcash in? 90
els it something important? He is
much occupied. "
$50 am l. Yes; it's a matter of some
! importance, and want to talk to Mr..
| Spotcash personally. Yes; I'll hold the
wire-that is. I'll hold the phone
"Hellor snapped somebody at this
| juncture.
"Hellol Is that Mr.. Spotcash
Eyes. Who is it?''
lyon are the head of the firm of
SpOtcash & Co, are You notf"
Yes" was the impatient answer.
"What do you want? Who are you ?''
"Gwilliams, 1895 Pumpernickel
| street. l want to enter complaint. -
''What abouty'
81 bought an icebox at your store
few days ago. and
Call up the household goods depart
ment, cOnfound youi l have no time to
spare to look after such things"
You've got as much time, perhaps,
as have. haven't any complaint to
make to the household goods depart
ment. The head of the firm is the man
want to talk to. l bought an icebox
at your store a few days ago for S16. IS.
/ might have got it cheaper somewhere
else. but that isn't the point. Having
bought it and paid for it. l had n right
to expect it to be delivered within a
reasonable time and in fair condition.
1t didn't come for four days. and when
it did Gomez
Say. You, / employ men to hear
complaints of this kind
Il have no use for them. You re the
responsible man of the house. The sys-
tenn is yours. If it doesn't work smooth
ly. it is your fault. When that icebox
came four days after purchase, one of
the castors was missing, the varnish
was scraped off the outside surface in
more than a dozen places. and it looked
as if it had gone through a hard season
at a cheap boarding house
IF there's anything wrong with it, "
roared Mr.. Spotcash. send it backl I
can't take up my time
STAND a little farther away from
the phone. Mr.. Spotcash. Your voice
sounds as if you had your mouth full
of mashed potatoes
WHO the devil are you?''
Il think gave you rIy name and
address williams. 1875 PumPernickel
street, next door to Lazarus J. Spill
horn. You don't know me from a
stuffed alligator. but you may have
heard of Spillhorn. Dent You allow
yourself to get hot, Mr.. S5potcash, over
an icebox. The incorgruity of such a
thing ought to be apparent even to the |
head of an overgrown junkshop"-
IF You were here. sir. should kick |
you out of my Office
''You would probably need some help. |
If that icebox had simply been defaced |
a little. 1 shouldn't have made any fuss |
about it. but the stupid ass you sent TO |
deliver it.
Haven't you sense enough, you in |
fernal idiot. TO know that / don't look |
personally after the little details of a |
business amounting to millions of dol
lars year,"
eff you don't grasp every detail Of |
that business. you Cheap John notion
peddIer in gilt binding, yOu are not |
fit to be the boss of it Don't try to
crawl ont of the responsibility by |
throwing the blame on some boy. If
i 4
little, repeat, l shouldn't have made
any fuss about ii, but the fellow you
sent to deliver il didn't have any more
sense than to tumble it on the side
walk
Bring it back, blank YOU
Look here, Spotcash, that won't do.
You know. You are not allowed to talk
in that style over the telephone Exer-
else a little common sense, Spotcash.
You know it isn't my place to bring
that icebox back. The proper thing to
do, you thirty third degree haberdasher
and toy vendor, is TO send me a new
icebox and take the damaged one
back
You blank fool do you think you
can tell me-
'Acain let me tell you. Spotcash,
not 20 use such language over the tele-
pin ne Some remote ancestor of yours
may possibly have been gentleman
Try to emulate him. Spotcash. In the
please accept the assurances
IF NV distinguished consideration. and
the icebox will remain in my dwelling
subject to your order If it Is replaced
and within n reasonable time,
Won will not hear from me again. If 1T
I S1.,1 |
sonally dozen times day through all
the public telephones in town. ! have
not the patience TO call at your store 70
make the complaint. Your system of
making exchanges is too complicated,
md hnli.1-.a in .rcni11.r IN haalnr1 arters |