Arizona weekly journal-miner., 1899-06-07
HUMOR OF LUNATICs.
AsANs MANS EXPERIENCE Is As IA-
 SANE ASYLUM

SANE ASYLUM.
 By the Tine He Get ThreuEh BeiaG Pooled by the Inmates He Was Ready Co DIstrust Eve. the SsPer- Inteadent of the InstitstiSn-
 ssI never knew until l went out to California this time that insane people have a powerful sense of hunoT, sad a Washingtouian who recently returned from a trip tO the coast ''I confess that I've always found morbid sort of in-s terest in going through noted insane asytums. and So armed myself with the proper credentials in San Francisco and went up to Nspa county to have 8 look over the splendid asylum for the insane there Inasmuch as wanted Co see a few things without the attention of a guide. l didn't present my letter. but just rAmbled around the beautiful spacious grounds for awhile l hadn't spent three minutes examining the ex- traordinRry rose gzrnens ia front of the main asylum building before a tall slender young man. well dressed and exceedingly well groomed, emerged from a clump of oleander trees and aP- preached me.
 Taking a look around. ehy said he to me.
 {" Yes I said T only arrived here a few minutes ago. and I'm taking the liberty of nosing about without any official guidance
 Well. the tall young man said. pleasantly. I don't suppose l fau out of the classification official guidance. " seeing that am the assistant superin- tendent here. yet should te pleased to show yon about and at the same time try not to place any restraint upon you by my awe inspiring presence
 Well the young chaps manner was so pleasant and winning that l could only thank him for his kindness and We started over the grounds We hadn't gone far before a middle aged man, also well dressed and well groom ed. appeared some distance in front of us down the gravel walk. and he beck oned to my companion The young man excused himself cOarteously and went up to the middle aged man The two conversed earnestly together for a few minutes. and then. linking arms, what do they do but coolly walk oH, leaving me standing there in the mid de of the gravel path, good deal non plused
 (" Surprised over the way they de serted youf' said voice right back of me You mustn't mind a little thing like that, though Both of those men are as crazy as looms.
 q turned around, and there, stand ing behind hedge about ten feet to my rear, was a little old gentleman. neatly dressed in black. and with a quizxioal smile on his features
 "'Surely. l" said. 'you cannot mean that that rational speaking, pleasant hammered young man who was conduct ing me about the grounds is bereft of bis witsf
 |" Mad as a March hare. repeated the old gentleman 1stly. 'Incurabie case. Harmless but incursble The man that he went of with is also a very sad case-vsry. Thinks he is the MahRrajah of Bludblud. or something like that But you mustn't mind 'em. Lots of visitors are taken iu the same way. If you care to, I'll just show you around. am one of the board of visit ors of this institution and just happen to be here in my unofficial capacity t0- day
 Much marveling over what the old gentleman told me, fell in with him. and we rambled around the huge gera- nium arbors. and finally entered the enormous glass building where the cul- tiYation of viOlets Is carried on.
 "'Nice array of flowers. isn't it- the old gentleman inquired of me, way ing bis hand st the beautiful beds of violets in bloom I am not inordinately vain. my friend. hope you will under stand, and yet cannot but congrstu- late myself upon the introduction oi this violet raising feature here. for l myself was responsible for it and only succeeded in having this hothouse con structed after enormous exertions with the authorities of the institution
 ''I congratulated the old gentleman upon the result of his labors and was just about to ask him to take me into themAin building and introduce me to the superintendent when he suddenly excused himself, saying that he had left his spectacles on a bench in the gardens and would be back directly ] waited for him for fully ten minutes but as he did not return I started on out of the glass building
 "'You didn't really expect him backf l heard a voice say, and then pleasant faced man, dressed as a la borer and carrying a watering pot came from behind a group of palms He spoke with Scotch brogue
 The old gentleman you were with is very bad up here. said the man with the watering pot, touching his fore head Hes been here for 20 years, and he fancies he owns the place. l am the head gardener here, and he tries his best to run me. But he don tho. sir. he don't He can't No crazy man can run me And the Scotchman went down the length of the raised violet beds. wa tering the plants
 ''l passed out of the glass building and started for the entrance to the main building. there to present my letters As was about to walk up the steps to the entrance a man with side whiskers and rather sharp. piercing eye walked up to me.
 You have business hereg he in quired of me in a rather sharp tone Well l thought be might be another of 'em. and So kept right on He fol- lowed me up the stairs and into the office. and l had to hand my letters to him He was the superintendent He smiled when I told him of my experi- ence in the grounds
 Which of them was really insanef . 1 asked him
 !" All of them. he replied. Wash ! ington Star