Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1899-12-16
TURNED THE TABLES.

I
circle, one had seen the play earlier in
the week. 1t was impossible to doubt that
1t was equally certain that neither of her
companions had seen the play earlier in the
week. Likewise, the fact was manifest that
the young woman who had seen the play
earlier in the week felt entirely convinced
that none of the people in the seats to the
right, or the left, or before, or behind her
had seen the play earlier in the week, that
she felt sorry for them, in consequence,
and that she regarded it as a moral obliga-
ton resting upon her to tell them all about
it. Doubtless, it seemed to her that their
enjoyment of all that was to follow would
be vastly enhanced by foreknowledge on
their part OF what was going to occur on
the stage. During the momentary wait be-
tween the end of the overture and the rise
of the curtain she delivered herself of the
following little introduction to the play, for
the instruction of all those around her, in
an nsistent whisper as pervading as the
chug OF cold vapor in water pipe:
Now, Agge and Mag, the first act is jes'
like pree-face in book, and it's hardly
nee sary to see it at all, honest. Course
they have to talk lot, y'know, Mag, vile
the folks that comes late gets into their
seats. Well-lemme see, how does it be-
gin-well, the fellah that awards marries
the girl, yknow, he comes in-no, he
doesn't-yes, he does-no, now l remember;
it's the vlllain-and he's got morgdge on
her pas proputty-and so he's tryin' to hold
that over her head SOS she'll jes' have to
marry him, see? Then the good fellah, he
comes in, and wen he finds the villain
there, a-tryin' to make the old man-her
pa, you know-name the day when he can
marry his daughter-the villain, yum
derstan'?- my, there's such stew, and
then the good fellah-he's got the scrump-
tousest hair, jes' a little gray at the tenn
pies and sides, y'know, like his life's been
sad, y'know, Mag-and then he"
The young woman's introduction was just
about in this lucid state when the curtain
went up. The people all around the young
woman who had seen the play earlier in
the week were gazing with some little anx-
icty at her. Perhaps the fear preyed upon
them that she intended to keep her running
commentary on the go until the fall of the
curtain on the final act. If that was their
fear it soon appeared that it was justiliable.
The curtain had no sooner gone up than
the young woman who had witnessed the
performance earlier in the week leaned
over to her two companions and began
hoarse buzzing something like this:
Now, Mag and Ag, jes' wait till you see
that good follah, and you can tell me if
wasn't right in sayin' he was the ham
soonest thing! But don't think the leadin'
lady's SO purity. She looks awfly stuck-up
to me. Wait til you see her. She wears
some nice dresses, but, homes, don't think
her figger's genu-wine-looks skinny to me
that is, s if she might be skinny on the
let,, H., lo,,
some-lookin' man as plays the leadin' part
that's all-ought to have real purity lead
Now, you'll see him come out in jes' a.
mint, and then if you don't say he's the
han soonest"
Thus on, agonizingly, throughout the en-
tire act, until the curtain rolled down with
a thump. The ladies and gentlemen sitting
within radius of ten feet of the young
woman who had been to the play earlier in
| the week looked sadder and sadder as the
hoarse whisper continued increasing in vol.
ume, apparently, all the time, and mum,
! Der of the ladies to the right Of the philan-
thropic young woman who wanted them to
know all about it, not evidently appreciat-
ing her kindly motives, were sufficiently I'M
grateful to ''Shsh-sh!" when the scene on
| the stage was of quiet nature. The young
woman who had seen the performance ear
er in the week paid no attention to these
| little Kisses, however, but went right ahead
with her commentary until the close of the
| act.
1t happened that two quietlooEing young
men, not apparently acquainted, but simply
| seat mates, sat directly in the rear of the
young woman who had Ag and Mag fol-
companions. They looked much bored dur
| ing the beginning of the young woman
| audible foot notes to the progress OF the
play, then perturbed, and, finally, real hot
under the collar. But they said nothing
They went out when the curtain had fallen
on the first act. just before the rise of the
curtain the taller of the two young mer
leaned over to the other, with a twinkle il
his eye, and, in close imitation of the whis
per of the young woman who had seen tho
play earlier in the week, he began:
Hey, Bill, this act is the beaut and the
bird of the show It's n jim Hickey and {
kifty-nitch The butler of the old man,
shack starts the ball rolling He comes into
the dining -room--swel set you know, Bill
with real dishes and real grub in EN-
with about half skate on, and he walks
over to where the demijohns sit on the side
board and he throws about seven hooters
one after the other, into his face; get
googly-eyed right there, and what he doe
to that furniture is plenty. 1t seems thu
old man has made him sore about some
thing or other, and
The people in all the surrounding seat
were "onto" the little play of the youn!
man at once, and there was some smoth
cred titterng. The young woman who hat
seen the play earlier in the week looked
around contemptuousy at the two younl
men, but they didn't appear to know tina
she was in the theater
"What gets the old guy sore?" asks tn
shorter of the young men, in a tone OF IN
terest.
81 pass" hoarsely whispered his com
panion, "but | guess the buffers got tn
bulge, some way or other, on his nobs, an
he lust Jumps in to work his edge. We'll
he rears and tears around there somethn
fierce, and then, by jing Kaflir low CON
edian prances in just when the butter
kicking things over, and this Kattirs 60
a knotted war club about four feet Ion
with him, and he begins to paste the but
Ter all over the room. just then the goody
goody guy with the cheap flour around tn
hair on the sides of his head waltzes along
and he tries to work the high and Taught
dodge on the Katfir low comedian, and h
gets war-clubbed to beat the band himse
! honest N just when it's the deuces oW
handto-ha struggle between the Aa1il
and the butler and the goody -goody eezab'
WHY, the girl, she comes yelling III, an
! ,he begins to throw cold water out OF tn
ice pitcher on the whole mixedup buncl
Wrhile she's doing this her old man break