The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-07-14
A NIGHT OF MISERY.
RIDING IN A LOCKED BOX CAR WITH
TWO SCARED MULES.

An Experience Which, According to
the Victim. Made sherman's Definf-
ton of War Seem Like the Descrip-
ton of a Sunday School Picnic.
"Well, - said the Footprint to Slug
Seven as he settled down on his stool
and began to throw in handful of
type, elf l didn't have time of it get
ting down here out of those noun
tains.
''Been up in the mines?'' inquired
Slug Seven.
"Yep,'' replied the Footprint. Just
came out Footed it from Angels to
Milton yesterday and rode into Stock
ton on a side door sleeper last night. A
side door sleeper, continued the Foot
print, sis not the most comfortable
mode of travelling. Personally prefer
to ride on red cushion, but the heart
less and exorbitant demand Of the rail-
road trust for spot cash compelled me
to walk or come as freight. I came as
freight.9
''Sure," said Slug Seven.
"The unpleasant feature OF the trip,
continued the Footprint, "was the base
BETRAYAL of confidence on the part OF
the brakeman with whom [ negotiated
for an undisturbed passage For cash
consideration of six bits and drink OF
liquor he verbally contracted to wayblll
me from Milton to the division end at
Stockton. We went up street to take
the drink and-well, you know how one
| word brings on another. By train time
| the 81 I had sunk in my jeans had been
fshed to the surface and sent across the
bar for red liquor.
"The brakeman was full when be
started for the yards. So was when |
| started after him. The brakeman con-
| fded to me on the way through the
yards that he owned the whole train
and I could ride anywhere and any way
| I wanted to- [ told him that was sur
rounding at least quart of Milton
| whisky and if it was all the same to
him and he had nice, dry, empty box
! car l would be shipped as an unbroken
original package. He agreed, and we
went over where the train was stand
ing made up to find that empty. The
brakeman ran a door open, gave me a
! hurried boost in and ran the door shut
| and locked it. After bit [ struck a
! match to look about and what do you
suppose that cuss had done?'
| ''Give it up" said Slug Seven.
| ''Billed me as live stock, by gum !
Fact There was locked in a box with
two mules. both loose, and all Of us
good to keep company to the division
| end. What was that Sherman said
about war? Said it was hades, didn't
| he? Well, it amt. It's only an imita-
| ton The real, orthodox, rose cOlOred
| hades is to spend a night in a locked
| box car with two mountain ranch mules
''It isn't long run from Milton in,
and I concluded, after the train had
| bumped along about three miles and
those scared mules had begun to charge
around and kick a -tat-tat-tat on
the sides of the car, that the only plan
| of campaign left to me was a flank
movement and sudden mounting of
one of the animals It wouldn't be a
| dream of pleasure on that mules back,
but it would be safer than lodging four
! rapid fire hind heels unlimbered for &C
tion. I got on the mule all right, and
after little bucking he steadied down
tolerably we'll The animal was evil
| IDENTIFY scared to death and seemed to
| take comfort in being straddled by a
rider.
"Well, I was just chuckling to my
self over the state Of affairs in the live
| stock department of the Espee railway
and figuring that another hour would
see us in the division yards, where my
| friend the brakeman would open the
door, when the train stopped, evidently
| at siding, as [ knew we weren't near
a station. We bumped about a bit and
| 1 took a double wrap in the mules ears
then we stood still while some other
cars were bumped about and then l
heard two short toots of the whistle and
rumble that gradually grew fainter.
The train had pulled out and we were
side tracked.
eve staid there till morning, too,
and I rode that son Of jackass, with a
backbone like the ridge CT a church
roof, up and down and around that car
every weary minute of all that weary
night. To quit riding meant to go to
sleep, fall eff and have the liver and
high lights and half tones trampled
and kicked out of me by two scared
mountain mules.
81 estimate that [ rode that mule 1876
miles and three furlongs in that car
and the car travelled II miles before be-
ing side tracked. The remaining three
miles of the 20 between Milton and
Stockton made on foot, thus complet-
| ing journey of 156 miles 8 fur
longs in straight line between two
given points that are but 20 miles
apart, automatically impossible feat,
accomplished by one jackass with the
aid of two relatives on the male side of
the house.
| The Footprint sighed as he paused to
bite off a chew of tobacco, and Slug
| Seven took ADVANTAGE of the Onening to