Austin's Hawaiian weekly. [volume] (Honolulu [Hawaii]) 1899-190?, 1899-07-15
Hawaii's Greatest Liar.
Lie Number One.

OF all the liars Hawaii has ever produced Cap
tain Marchant was the greatest. He took pride
in lying. 1t was his greatest pastime. And he
was such a smooth ar-so convincing in his
manner-tfat in spite of yourself you would al
most be inpelled to believe the widest tale. The
Captain came here in whaler in early days and
after making several voyages to the Arctic, Win
tering here, he decided to settle He was cap
tain of the old Kilauea when | knew him, and
how he used to take in the unsuspecting tourists.
1t was almost pitiul Probably the most success
full lie Marchant ever told was on the trip to
Kauai once. He had four or five ladies and gen
tlen1en around him lounging on the deck and the
Captain was in his element. He was holding
forth in this fashion,
YES, | had pretty hard luck in the Arctic at
first, and whaer who afterwards became my
friend, might have made it good deal worse had
it not been for my forethought. The boys
towing in a big whale and were laughing because
they took him so easily. The whale seemed to
be dead as herring. But I happened to catch
an ugly CLEAN in his eye as the boys were max
ing him fast to the side OF the ship. I saw his
purpose at once. One blow from that mighty
tail against the side of the ship would have sunk
her with all hands on board. 7 could not help
adn1iring the intelligence of that whale even in
the moment of Our extreme peril. thought
struck me in an instant I climbed over the rail
and jumped down onto the whales head and.
getting good footlold on his whalebone,
reached over and whispered in his ear. He
seemed pleased, but gazed up at me inquiringly
with his left eye. Now I said. If YOU Under
stand me switch your tail gently but be careful
of the side of the ship He switched his tail.
The boys on the deck saw their peril at once and
wanted to fire larpoon into him. but | warned
them off with a gesture.
CHOW, if you want to say yes | continued.
roll this eye three times and if you want to say
no, roll it twice I was in very uncomfortable
position with my left foot on his jaw and my
right braced against his fin, while with nv left
hand | hung onto his eyebrow and with my
right chung to his left ear. But it was case of
life and death
"Will you do what want?' asked anxious
ly. He rolled his eye three times and I felt
easier. Now, when you want to make yourself
known to me spout four times at regular inter
walls He acquiesced If you do not know
where there are any whales for us to slaughter
follow with one spout He rolled his eye twice
frantcally, and switched his tail twice. oh,
spout twice, eh? He rolled his eye three times
81 derived at once what the trouble was
He had to take enough water into his spouting
apparatus to spout twice at least and if he only
spouted once there was no way to get rid of the
balance except by swallowing it, and swallowing
sea water is aot to G i've on dyspepsia.
" If you know where there are any whales for
us to catch follow the four spouts with three
spouts and lead off in the direction you want us
to follow, spouting four times at regular inter
val That oil Of1 c1NU