Mesa free press., 1899-02-17
,lIIl||z;l|elkElEikS
~ >7fsaIB A SS.z-,Is

|
are called leghorns. Dolly-Don't you
see the little horns ON their ankles P
Brooklyn Life.
'There's lady pianist at the museum
who plays with her toes" "Umph!
That's nothing; my baby does thatv'-
Yonkers Statesman.
You look nice enough to eat" ex-
claimed the youth. "And SO do" re-
piled the maiden, "three times q day."
Ohio State Journal.
Tommy-"Why are single women
called spinsters?" Pa-'T expect it's
because they are always spinning u
web to catch man, my .'-Londcn
Fun.
Manager-If young Gotrox backs that
play of yours he is fool. Miss Foot
htes-That's all right. Fools rush in
where angels fear to tread.-Town
Topics.
Mrs. Bangle-They say that half the
world doesn't know how the other half
lives. Bangle-Then 1t must be they
don't read the patent medicine testi-
monials.-Judge.
PupilWhat, in your opinion, profes-
sor, is the most difficult mathematical
problem? Poor Professor (grimly)-
Trying to make both ends meet, my
dear sir-Tid-Bits.
"You know, after ALL" said the young
father. "a baby does brighten up the
house." Single Skeptic-"I daresay;
I've noticed the gas burning late in
your room recently ."-Moonshine.
He-"What lovely flowers. Do you
know, they remind me Of you" She
''Why, they are artificial" He-"Yes,
know; but it requires close examina-
ton to detect it."-Chicago News.
A servant girl in Birmingham fam
lily was taken to task for oversleeping
herself. 'Well, ma'am," she said, Il
sleep very slow, and so it takes me
long while to get me nights rest. Tit
Bits.
First member musical committee
''Does the new sopranos voice fill the
church?' Second member-"Hardly.
The ushers tell me there are always
vacant seats in the gallery. detroit
Journal.
'Well, I'm glad O. one thing. Our
Jim seems to have good religious COM
p'ny." "HOw is that, mother" His
last letter says he's comm home in
converted yacht. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
'T see," said the elderly boarder,
'that the paper says that the foe re-
treated doggedly. wonder what sort
Of retreat that wasp presumably"
said the Cheerful Idiot, "they took to
their barks." s."-Indianapolis Journal.
Judge-"You are accused Of stealing
six reams Of paper, three gallons OF
ink, and five gross of pens. What have
you to sayY' Prisoner-"Your honor,
1 am q novelist and I was merely col
lecting material for a new story
Puck.
Travelling Mana chop and a cup OF
coffee, quick! My train leaves in tWen-
ty minutes. Waiter-Yes, sab. Seven
ty-five cents, sab. Travelling Man-Do
you want pay in advance? Walter
Yes, sab. Yo' may be gone befo' It's
cooked, sab.
"I have an invention which will revO-
lutionize the world" said the boaster.
''There ought to be a great demand for
something like that in Central and
South America" replied the matter-of-
fact manipulating Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
"And these places where you vote"
said the gentleman from Europe, you
call them the polls?' eyes," said the
North Carolina citizen, 1--WE call 'em
that. But the warmth around here
makes 'em seem good deal more like
eQuators. ."-WashingtOn Star.
Burglar Bill Ito his new cell-mate)-
So you're a musician, are ye, an got
sent here fer stealing pianny? Well,
We won't do much musical practicin' IN
dis place, I'll bet. Newcomer-Oh, l
don't know. If get hold Of file I'll
probably try few bars.-Exchange
'T'm ready" shouted the speaker, "to
meet calmly any emergency that may
dElS0. AZ ILLS UuOLuCAL IAC PAcSIAOAAAA
collapsed and the speaker exhibited
great perturbation. "How about that
one" they asked him later. "That one
did not e."-Indianapolis Journal.
"Now that you've got your dog
again." said the rough-looking man,
pocketing the reward, you might ask
me if l wouldn't like something to
drink" "You forget, sir,'' sternly re-
piled the owner of the animal "that
said in my advertisement, mo ques-
tions asked" d."-Chicago Tribune.
Dudley Ito physician women
ate fruit for supper, and I suppose 1t
wasn't quite ripe. My mother-in-law
was taken sick first; but believing that
my wife would be soon seized with a
similar attack, deferred sending for
you until you would be able to kill two
birds with one stone.-Life.
0Yoctnr6av' said JahSOn 81 refused