davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28
How j." Yankee Grows.

81 was really amused" said a New
Orleans citizen who has lately made a
visit abroad, Ito notice how the term
Yankee widens in application asrone
gets further and further away from
the habitat of the real thing. In New
York a Yankee is commonly supposed
to be a native of Connecticut, Yer
mont or Massachusetts. and | notice
that the name is applied to mean skin
f1ints rather than to the people in gen
eral. In st. Louis a Yankee is under
stood loosely to be any one from the
extreme northeast. Here in New Or
leans the term includes pretty nearly
everybody above Mason and Dixon's
line-in short. 'Nortlerner' and Yam
kee' are more or less synonymous.
Now comes the real absurd part Of it.
although quite in line with what [
have just remarked. While I was in
London l found myself continually re-
ferred to as a Yankee by natives who
had learned I was from New Orleans.
I think you Yankees are very charm
ing people, said a big wholesaler, who
wanted to be extra pleasant. I know
several from your State | tried to
explain at first, but I soon got tired of
that. l was sure to be greeted by n
stare Of amazement. But I thought
all Americans were Yankees. doncher-
know would be the usual protest.
Later on 1 met a very intelligent hotel
keeper, at Berne, in Switzerland, and
in the course Of conversation he re-
marked that he had an extremely
agreeable countryman Of mine stay
ing at his house the previous season.
AS you are both Yankees he said,
you may, by chance, know him
Where does he live? l asked. In
Buenos Ayres,' replied the hotelkeep-
er.'-New Orleans Times Democrat.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28
that's the Best Way to Increase 10"
Chances Of Marriage.

that's the Best Way to Increase your
Chances Of Marriage.
The woman who can not catch a man
must now lay it to other than econ
omic reasons. The old reliable excuse
that the supply is not equal to the &C.
mand is no longer valid. There aIe
1900, 900 more bachelors than old malas
n the United States. The govern
ment says SO, and the government gen
orally knows. Perhaps it is because
old Uncle Sam himself is a bachelor
for whoever heard of Mrs. Sam?-tha'
he has taken such an interest IN tne
matter as to secure the exact figures.
Perhaps it was out of solicttude fof
the old maid and in the desire OF bring
ing her more of the sunshine or nope
that he instituted the Investigation. Al
any rate he has the figures, and they
are enough to make glad the heart OF
every spinster in the land. There IS
not a state In the union where there
are as many old maids as bacnelors.
Even Massachusetts, the traditional
home of the spinster Of the poll-par-
rot species, has more men h Wom-
en- of manageable age. The bachelors
outnumber the old maids by only two
tenths of l per cent in Massachusetts
which is a lesser per cent Of excess
than in e1y of the other states. But,
even at that, there are nearly 1,ooo
"superfuous men" there, who 0
be left chanceless If the 219.O0o olo
maids would pair off with the otner
PIG, 900 old bachelors. How is that 1or
Massachusetts, the greatest state IN
the union for old maids? 1t Woulu
seem that a spinster Of ordinary at
fractions and ability would be aDle III
the light of the facts and figures winch
the governmental Investigation HAS
disclosed to arrange matters wherever
she might live. But II she wants a
territory where negotiations may De
completed with eve greater ease
where the lottery Of marriage must De-
come a dead sure thing-let her ME
herself from the crowded cities OF the
east to the rolling prairies or noun
tain wilds of the west, where there ats
ten bachelors to every available maid
en-: What spinster can resist such an
advantage as this, which is offered Dy
the states Of Idaho and Wyoming? II
would surely be a hopeless case which
would not find its cure with the
chances ten to one for recovery. Let
the old maids try the free, fresh all
of these mountain lands for awhile
Sioux City Journal.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28
A MATRIMONIAL COURSE,
Chicago's Northwestern University TO Teach
the Art of Getting Married,

Students at the Northwestern Uni
verSity. in Evanston, H.. are about to
become proficient in the art of getting
married, or Professor Cummnock of
the School of Oratory will know the
reason why. There are to be no more
awkward grooms, no more nervous
brides, and no more frightened brides
maids or gr0omsmen when the grad
yates of Northwestern come to the
point of getting married.
SO far there is nothing except the
bare announcement that there is to be
instruction III the general art of mat
rln1ony under the supervision of Pro
feSsor Cummnock. One can only guess
at the method that is to be adopted.
There will be. Of course, mock mar
rlages from time to time. but beyond
that nothing is known. 1t is not be-
lieved, however, that the new course
will include a love making branch. In
a co-educational institution the stu
dents can take care of that them
selves.
The course will deal solely with the
ceremony, it is asserted. The groom
will be taught to plunge into his vest
pocket for the ring and get it at the
first effort, and thus save about ten
years, wear and tear on his neryou
system when the real day of fate ar
rives. The bride will be trained to
keep the color in her cheeks and to
look neither supremacy sorrowful nor
intensely happy.
1t is as yet unknown whether the
course will include instruction relative
to proper behavior after marriage, al
though it is thought this is needed
quite as much as instruction relative
to the marriage ceremony itself. The
prevailing impression is that Professor
Cummnock will not undertake to go
so far. He has not yet given an ex-
precision on that subject.
1t is understood the greatest point
in Professor Cummnock's course will
be the responses. 1t will no longer be
impossible for the spectators in the
front pew to make out whether the
principal parties in interest have said
Il will Or Il won't" The answer
in every case will ring out like a pilot
hailing a boat at sea.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28
Many people suppose that the use Of

Many people suppose that the use Of
mahogany for the manufacture of fur
piture is very ancient. AS a matter
Of fact, the first record we have of this
rare wood is in 1895, when Sir Walter
Raleigh repaired n Of his ships with
It in the port of Trinidad. The next
we hear OF mahogany is many years
later, when an Engiishman who was
sailing from one of the West Indies
used quite a lot of what appeared TO
him rough lumber for ballast. and
when he arrived in Eangland and
found his brother building a house he
gave this apparently ill-featured tim
Der to him for his house. When his
brother turned the lumber over to his
carpenters, they refused to use it, be-
cause It vas SO hard that it spoiled
their tools; so it's use for building that
house was abandoned. His wife, how
ever, a short time after, gave some of
this wood to her cabinetmaker in or
box. He, too, complained Of the hard
ness of the wood and it's effect upon
his tools. The candle box was finished
at last, however, and it was so hand.
ZONE, having taken on such a beauti-
full polish, that this box became quite
q curiosity among the society people
OF that day; SO much SO that the lady's
husband had the same cabinetmaker
make him a bureau of the same wood.
The bureau vas SO unusually beauti-
full that the cabinetmaker went regu-
larly into the business of manufacture
ing bureaus, and made not only a rep
u~tation, but a large fortune out Of the
Observation-Disclosures Constitution.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28
Depopulation in France.

The returns of the census for France
which was taken in March, 1897, have
now been published and compared
with the statistics Of the previous cen
taken six years before. A year
ago the number of people in France
was 49, 2S, 969, and at the 1891 census
If was $685., $50. so that in the six
years the population of France had
only increased 1880 persons. And
even this trifing increase is more ap-
narent than real, for it has taken place
entirely in the large towns. and is u
TO the influx of foreigners, such as
Belgians and Italians, who are to be
found in increasing numbers among
the urban populations of France
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28

That which is probably one Of the
hardest sayings Of Christ to accept.
one hat has received the ridicule Of
centuries, is illustrated by this Incl
lent. The principle involved in the
command to turn the other cheek to
The smiter Is utterly a~ntagonistic to
natural human impulse. "A soft an
presentation of the same principle, that
n theory, at least, is somewhat readily
acknowledged. and its truth was never
more emphattcally verified than in the
Incident we have described.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28

The readers Of this piper will be pleased to
learn that there is at least one dreaded dis
ease that science has been able to cure in all
its stages, and that is Catarrh. Halls Catarrh
Cure is the only positive cure now known to
the medical fraternity. Catarrh being a con.
st,tutiOnal disease, requires a constitutional
nally, acting directly upon the blood and mu-
cous surfaces of the system. thereby destroy
ing the foundation of the disease, and giving
stitution and assisting nature in doing its
work. The proprietors have so much faith in
its curative powers that they offer One Hun.
dred Dollars for any case that 1t fails to cure.
Send for list of testimonials. Address
FL. CHENEY 81 CO., Toledo, 0.
Sold by Druggists. 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28
A SOFT ANSWER.

A tramp steamer had Just been tied
10 a wharf in Boston. From her dingy
hold there leaped upon the dock a mar
gho was evidently a stoker. He was
black with CRIME, reckless of face,
Eager for release from an almost I'M
bearable confinement, and ready for
Any animal qualification for which hs
could find annartnnitn
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28
Spider in Her Ear.

An elderly Philadelphia woman. Sa-
rah Loura, recently went to st. Mary's
Hospital and asked to be relieved of
distressing noises in her ears. Experts
who were Civ en- charge Of the ase
found a living spider that had made a
nest of her ear. This was successfully
removed and the old lady now bears
rs we'll as ever.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28

AS he emerged upon the main street,
looking probably for the nearest ga
Don, he saw a colored woman walking
iedately toward him, carrying a basket
If apples. Full of mischief, the stoker
stumbled against her, upset the basket
the pavement, and then stood
aside to laugh at the invectives which
he supposed his trick would bring
'orth
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28

The fayorite means of transporta-
ton in Havana is by one-horse vic
torias. of which. there are thousands.
Two persons are enabled to go to any
point within the city limits for a pc
seta, which is equal to about nineteen
cents.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28
PERIODS OF PAIN.

M~enstruation, the balance wheel OF
woman's life, is also the bane of exist
ence to many because it means a time OF
great suffering.
While no womanis entirely free from
periodical pain, it does not seem to have
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28

England has issued two "blue"
books and France a yellow book on
the Fashoda controversy, but the .'yel-
low publication evidently is booked
for the biggest run
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28
Ia This n Paradox?

The more man gets the more he
wants. He's very tired at the end OF
. two weeks vacation, and at the end
Of four he would be even more tired
Philadelphia North American.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28

The American Indian is beginning TO
be depressed by the realization that
while he is a noble figure in pottery
and romance he is an exceedingly poor
hand at q trade.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28

Clean blood means a clean skin. No
beauty without it. Cascarets, Candy Cathar-
tic clean your blood and keep it clean, by
stirring up the lazy liver and driving all i'm
Danish. pimples, boils, blotches. blackheads,
and that sickly bilious complexion by taking
Cascarets, beauty for ten cents. All drug
gists. satisfaction guaranteed. l0c, PC, SIC.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28
a Nav

They were having q drill In compare
ION Of ad1sctves, and the teacher asked
a small boy in the front row to COM
pare "sick." "sick, worse, dead" was
the instant reply.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28

ence. Itrelieves the condition that pro-
duces so much discomfort and robs men
situation of it's terrors. Here is proof:
DEAR Mrs. P1NKHAM:-How can l
thank you enough for what you have
done for me? When I wrote to you l
was suffering untold pain at time OF
~menstruation; was nervous, had head
ache all the time, no appetite, that tired
feeling, and did not are for anything.
/ have taken three bottles OF Lydia +.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, n
of Blood Purifier, two boxes of Liver
Pills, and to-day I am a well person. l
would like to have those who suffer
know that I am one of the many who
have been cured of female complaints
byyour wonderful medicine and advice.
Miss JENNIE r. MILES, Leon, Wis.
Eyou are suffering in this way, write
AZ Miss Miles did to Mrs. Pinkham at
Lynn, Mass, for the advice which she
offers free of charge to all women.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28

To quit tobacco easily and forever, be mag
ietic, full OF life, nerve and vigor, take MOTTO
Bac. the wo~nderworker, that makes weak men
strong. All druggists, SOC or u. Cure gusrans
iced. Booklet and sample free. Address
Sterling Remedy Co, Chicago OK New YoEk
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28

He that can have patience, can have what
ne will.
He that falls in love with himself will have
no rivals,
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup forchtldren
teething, %softens the gums, Observation-Disclosures
ton ,allays pain, cures wind collie. &c. a bottle
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28

Fits permanently cured. No fits or nervous
ness after tirstday's use of DR.. Kline's Great
Nerve estorer. 81 trial bottle and treatise free
DIR. Il. Il. KLINE, Ltd. 4l Arch St., Phila, Pa.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28
The WORLDS supply of wheat.

An English EXPERT prophecies a universal
dearth IN the wheat supply He claims tha,
the wheat producing soil is unequal to the
strain that will be put upon It. Even now
when the food supply of the world is ample.
thousands die because their dtsordered storn-
arhs fail to properly asstnilate the food they
take. Hostetters Stomach Bitters gthen
and tone up the stomach and digestive organs,
and enable them TO perform their proper fun0,
ti0ns. This great remedy cures dyspepsia,
torpid liver, nervousness and fever and agus.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28

Be good to thy friend to keep him, to thy
enemy to gain him.
Three may keep a secret if two of them are
1ao1
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28

Glass, china and reputation are easily
cracked and never well mended.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28

Guaranteed tobaccohabit cure, makes weak
men strong, blood pure. SOC. 81. All druggists
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28

A hot temper is apt to warp a mans better
Judgment,
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28

II you'd lose a troublesome visitor, len
him money.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28
No.To.Bac for Fifty Cents.

Hobbies are the most unsatisfactory of a
beasts to ride.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28

Educate Your Bowels With Cascsrets.
Candy Cathartic, cure constipation forevee!
roc. DC, II C. C. C. fail. druggists refund mOaoys
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28

Ican recommend Piso's Cure for Consump-
hon to sufferers from Asthma.-E. D. TOWN
sEN Fit. Howard. Wis. May 4. 1894.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28
kfD1 Reward. 800.

One never knows how empty some men
really are until they get full.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28

It is better to take many injuries than to
give one.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28
Don, Tobacco Spit and Smoke Eour lls Avs,.

Encore fiends are numerous in the theatre:
of the land.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28
10 Cure Constipation Forever.
CO WEST, OLD MAID.

Take C~ascarets Candy Cathartic. lOc or &c.
IfC. C. C. fail to cure, druggists refund money
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28
Beauty Is Blood Deep.

Marry above thy match and thy'lt get a
mastar
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28
To Cure a Cold in One Day.

Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
Druggists refund money if it tai;s to cure. &c.
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28

been ma
lures plan I
that women
otherwise
healthy
should suffer
SO severely.
Lydia E. Pinl
hams Vege-
table Com c
pound is 4:
the most {
thorough e-
male regula-
tor known tx
modiaa1 SOL
The Opelousas courier., 1899-01-28

SNIu Dy Druggists. ioC.
Halls Family Pills are the best
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1899-12-25
Che.. or wood shifting.

In chess It is exactly the same as in
l.trature--talent Is always more sure OF
success than genius The most ordinary
wood shifter" by long study and analy-
sis, can acquire steady defensive style
OF wood-shifting, and II patient and fairly
intelligent can work up to high stand
ard of play. One of his sources of strength
Is that he depends entirely on what, as
Scot would say, lis putten in WI spune."
Any man of sound, clear common sense
could become chess player of the first
rank, provided always that the fire and
shadow of passion and fancy did not inter-
fere with the steady, cold, calculating
brain. But genius is something other,
something beyond the first rank, and 1t
is rare in chess as 1t is in letters. You
could count on one hand all who deserve
the name.
l would go to the Cafe de la Regence for
the first, for Philidor Is the leader of the
moderns Breslau would give us the next,
in point of time at all events; but who
shall decide whether ANDERSEN was great
er or less than Paul Morphy? With these
the subject of this memoir deserves
place. He, too, has something beyond
talent for the game-he has genius. And
I by no means say that this gift Is al
ways a blessing to it's possessor. Talent
Is more under command, is more manage
able, and while 1t is content to labor,
genius has a naughty self-relianee that Is
not always justified. But just as one
would never dream of admitting a mans
name into the brief list of great writer's
simply on account of vast sale of books,
SO the genius of chess player is demon
strated not by his victories, but by the
quality of his play. A modern match, in
deed, is largely a trial of patience. Each
competitor gets up an open!ng-a safe and
sound one like the Ruy Lopez or the
Queens Gambit-and day after day tolls
at its variations Genius will never shine
at that task--you might as well harness
Pegasus to a roomstick.-From Black
burne's Games of Chess
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1899-12-25
HE ID A CHAMPION.
American Roach Far More AGREES
sive Than ANY other.

American Roach Far More Aggfes-
sive Than ANY other.
OF all the sturdy cockroach family the
so-called American roach IL champion.
He is fiercer. more aggressive and by far
outmeasures all other varieties. He cams
here originally from the West Indies. butt
like many other foreigners, has become 80
much an institution of this country that
he II known all the world over 40 the
American roach He travels abroad
great deal, booking his passage In packages
OF merchandise and IN the crevices Of
welI-oiled American machinery destined
for foreign parts, 90 that for years he has
been setting up colonies Of his own in tho
sugar refineries, machine shops and vessels
Of other nations. He has grown to enor-
nous proportins, measuring In many ins
stances as much as inches long, while
his outstretched wings often spread full
8 inches apart. These are the fellows that
disturb you at night and make such q
noise that they have come to be known a.
drummers. They wear yellowish coat
with brown spots.
While the means for destroying the ROACH
are not numerous they are at least suffi-
Client II persistently applied to keep tho
increase in check. Old wet cloths Will ate
tract them during the night and In the
morning It is q simple trick to XIII them
with boiling water. A winged trap has
been tried abroad with success. In this
manner, by actual count, no fewer than
1906 cockroaches were caught In four
months In q house to which neither bakery
nor kitchen was attached.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1899-12-25
VESSELS BOUND IN.

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% s s e. III + ~; = : s DECEMBER
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-; Eli. $$s; . III; 4 a: i 81 i. .:sss
% "A s 6: &c: . ;:s. FL: Z: .s.. r.,..,
] - y / 4, = 4: s 81. ': Gen.;
5s: as 6 & 4 s n :.s e, cam, ans.
' $:; &c. f.: g. g.: i II
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The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1899-12-25
LIGHTNING CHANGE ARTISTS.
The Average Filipino Can Discount
Any Vaudeville Performer.


Any Vaudeville Performer.
Talk about Frigoli and your lightning
change artists said one Of the First
Tennessee troopers recently, they SIM
ply aint In 1t with the humble everyday
Filipino. The rapidity with which one of
those brown gentlemen can switch from
rampant fnsurgent. dressed In red pants
and Mauser. to meek and lowly ami
go, wearing dirty white pajamas and O
benevolent smile, is next door to miracu-
lous. and their talent in that line is with
out doubt the principal thing that has
thus far prolonged the war.
when we made a reconnaissance north
OF 1loilo last spring my company had a
pretty sharp brush one afternoon with a
party of insurgents, intrenched outside
of the town of Molo, and finally scattered
all but about half a dozen, who were ap-
parently cut of at the end of river
ditch. When we reached the spot, how
ever, we were very much surprised to
find that they had disappeared.
Near by. under the brow Of hill, was
small bamboo hut, and squad of us
rushed over to search it. Inside we found
five amigos, dressed In the usual white
linen suits of the country, and apparently
frightened half to death. AS soon as they
saw us they set up a shout of joy, and
began to tell us how Aguinaldo and hin
men had terrorized the entire region and
prevented the poor natives from making
their crops. While they gabbled on they
shed tears of pure happiness, embraced
our knees, and called up their sayiors,
and as only two or three minutes had
elapsed since we had seen the insurgents,
fully uniformed, in the trench. 1t never
occurred to us to connect them with our
new friends. We asked whether any sol
diers had gone by. and they looked blank
and shook their heads.
"Not more than half an hour later nv
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1899-12-25

LONDON, Dec, 2I-Last week was one of the
gloomiest which the stock exchange had experienced
in years In all the markets realizstons were
on a large scale. dine TO n fear Of money pressure
during the last settlement Of the year and prices
went down all along the line. These touched the
lowest point on Friday Yesterday better feeling
prevailed, owing to the comparative ease Of the
carry-over in mining shares which effected partial
recovery In prices. leading to more cheerful and
hopeful tone at the close Corsols recovered to 9gl
for cash and s6l for the account.
Americans were better all around. Among the
increases were Northern Pacific preferred which rose
points. Louisville 3 Eashville. u; Chicago Min