The times., 1899-03-12

of these catchy verses is the wonderfully
clever Clock Song" which goes as fol-
| lows:
There a frivolous and naughty little
clock.
little French clock, rather gay;
Very trim and very neat, but creature OF deceit
When you wished to know the time of day.
| Its gongs would shock the old hall clock
| Till it held up its hands aghast.
I'm sure. to tell the truth, it went wrong in early
Had natural inclination to he fast.
Tic toe! tic toc!' said the silly little clock
| ''oh, life in this house is slow!
| 80 dull and prm, very glum and grim;
I'm getting run down | know
, So she sighed all day for a life more gay
She longcd for a shady past
This naughty little naughty little Clocb-tic toe!
That had an inclination TO be fast.
I'm quite wound up said the giddy little
'Tm weary Of the mantle shelf
! For years I've had 10 chime to give other folks
the time,
| Now. I'd like to-have n time myself
| I'd even away with gay ruue,
| Ii he'd show me the towns great sights"
| So she took up with i lamp, an incorrisibc
scamp.
Who smoked and always went out nights
''Tic toe! tic toc.' said The giddy little clock,
''Oh. won't You cope with me?
I'm yours from today if youli take me away
Where something of life I'll see
So they ne'er came back, and the brio -brac
| Had scandal enough TO last
! In gOssiping about the little cloCk--tiC toe.
That had an inclination to be fast.
Some of the lines in the verse are not
new, but the metre is irresistible and
the words euphonious. Set TO one of Regi-
maid de Kovens charming airs the song
should be delightful.
Isabelle Urquhart, the charming vaude-
william. who will be seen this week at the
| Grand, relates an amusing story of wom-
an who was with her in Charles Frohmans S
company but who had grown almost too
stout for the required ingenue roles. The
management found no objection TO her act
ing, but claimed that they would not be
able to re-engage her for the following sea-
| son unless she reduced herself, so she
solved to consult physician regarding her
corpulence. She had had no previous ex-
perience with ''banting'' of any sort. The
doctor drew up careful dietary for her.
She must eat dry toast. plain boiled beef,
together with a few other things of the
| same lean sort, and in a month she was to
report the result.
AT the end of the allotted time the actress
fulfilled her promise to return, but she
was stout that she could barely squeeze
through the door. The practitioner was
he asked.
'ReligiousIy." she answered.
The medical mans brow wrinkled in per-
! plexity. Suddenly he had a flash of in
/ spiration. Did you eat anything else?''
! inquired he.
why, my ordinary meals" said the in
genue.
And she was not engaged for the follow
| ing season.
Absent mindedness is the curse of all
brain workers, and frequently in the case
of men who labor continually the trouble
takes the form OF sort of insanity. There
is nothing incredible in the story Of the
newspaper man VINO walked down the
street in a rainstorm with his cane held
high above his head; in the tale of the
traveller who thought he had forgotten his
watch at home and took it out of his Docket
to see if he had time for returning, or in
the anecdote of the physician who left his
Office with sign reading viii be back at
2" on the door, but who returned at l,
saw the placard, and sat down on the steps
I to wait for himself.
Jerome Sykes. who is at present with
THE Three Dragons, is a victim of
the disease and has had one or two
strange experiences. One of these occur
red on the day that he left New York. The
company was TO quit town early in the
morning and the comedian returned TO his
hotel after the performance with the fixed
idea that he must get his bath before re-
firing since he would have no time after
rising. Accordingly he summoned a bell
boy, secured the towels and in trice was
enjoying the luxury of a dip.
Upon getting out of the tub, Mr.. Sykes
found, however, that the shower had taken
away all desire to sleep and accordingly
robed himself in some light garments and
began reading. The chair was comforta
bic and the actor enjoying himself
hugely when a clock struck three and he
started up with the realization that 1t was
getting late. Then he remembered that
he had wanted TO bathe and actually Wis
tied the room, filed the tub with water
and enjoyed another plunge-as a tired
man does enjoy such things 1t was not
until he came to the wet towels that the
performer remembered that that was his
second swim" in one evening and then
he hastily left the water for bed. Mr.
Sykes says that the dip had taken the
sleepiness ogt of him and that he would
have retaken his book but for fear that
recurrence Of the incident might shrink
him away to nothing.