The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1899-12-29
BODKIN AND THE MOUSE.
The Disasters of a Determined Cam
paign Against FOur-FOOted
Household Pests.

There's no use in talking" exclaimed
Nehemiah Bodkin, banker, philanthro-
pist and economist, the other morn
ing after breakfast, at the same time
glancing knowingly at his wife.
There's no use talking" repeated Bod
kin, in patronizing manner, ''this
house has got to be rid of the multi
plicity of perambulating, little four
legged cusses, otherwise known as
mice, that infest this place from cellar
to attic. 1 tell, you, Mrs. Bodkin, there
has got to be stop put to this nom
sense, or else the neighbors will accuse
us of running rat incubator and doing
our best to infest the neighborhood.
But, madam, this rat problem is about
to be solved and at the hands of Nehe-
miah Bodkin."
"Why, my DEAR" interrupted Mrs.
Bodkin, who knew only too well the re-
suits of following her husbands eco
nomical streaks, were you not aware
that there are men who hire out as pro-
fessional ratcatchers who could clear
our house of the pests in few hours,
and"
mot another word" broke out Nehe-
miah, at the same time endeayoring to
increase his stature and casting wither-
ing glances at his wife he almost
roared: do you expect me to pay out
good money to professional good-for-
nothings, who couldn't catch a rat
afterit had been stricken with the blind
staggers? No, Mrs. Bodkin, have de-
cided to attend to this matter myself,
and shall not call in any outsiders
either"
With this remark, Bodkin arose from
the table. He crossed to the opposite
side of the room and opened the door
into the vestibule just in time to see
tiny mouse dodge through the grating
in the hall register. All the ire in Bod
kin was at once aroused, and rushing
over to the register he slammed the
shutter to with such force that he near
ly lost his balance. Resuming his
equilibrium, Bodkin surveyed the
scene. with look of evident superior
ty. He had trapped one of the little
pests and now he had chance to get
square, and also to show Mrs. Bodkin
that when Nehemiah Bodkin said he
was going to rid the house of rats there
was no fooling about it.
Closing the doors leading into the
vestibule, Bodkin donned his overcoat
and gloves, the former to keep out the
cold and the latter to protect his hands
from gore. He considered that that
particular mouse would be past history
in about the smallest fraction of
second. Then selling poker from
the kitchen he repaired to the scene
of conflict. Mrs. Bodkin had in the
meantime discovered what her hus-
band was up to. She had heard the
racket in the vestibule, and surmised
that operations were to be begun at
once. Taking up a position at the
head Of a stairway, Mrs. Bodkin had
commanding view of the situation
from behind convenient portiere.
With look of determination on his
countenance, Bodkin stalked over to
the register and prepared to dispatch
the offender on first sight. He re-
moved the grating quickly, out jumped
the mouse, and kerwhack sounded the
poker as it came in contact with the
hardwood floor, where the mouse had
been short time ago. But his
mouseship hadn't given up the ghost
by any means. 1t just whisked about
that vestibule like a streak of creased
lightning, finally taking up position
in the shelter of one of the massive
legs of the hall stand
Bodkin, finding that he had not
knocked the mouse into smithereens
at the first whack, became furious,
and swore that the next blow would
put the finishing touch on that mouse
and no mistake. Turning about, he
espied the mouse under the stand,
the animal being in the act of wink
ing the other eye, or at least Bodkin
thought so. Holding the poker high
above his head, Bodkin prepared for
a magnificent finale. The poker de-
scended with terrific force, struck one
of the carved legs of the stand, re-
bounded into space and proceeded to
knock over the chandelier globes.
Bodkin, in the meanwhile was per-
forming an acrobatic feat on the floor
with a fleeing mouse and Mrs. Bodkin
as the only witness.
Bodkin recovered himself in an in
slant, grasped the poker from mass
of broken glass and hurled it at the
fleeing mouse, the only result being to
smash the umbrella holder. Now, Bod
kin was mad in earnest. Great beads
of perspiration stood out on his brow
and sulphur laden currents of atmos-
phere were being exhaled in all direc-
tions, while the poker was whacking
here and there, breaking the glass in
the hall stand, hacking the paint and
plastering and leaving destruction in
its wake. Just then, however, the
mouse got in the way of piece of fly
ing debris, and it was all over.
Bodlxin was triumphant, and waving
the dead mouse aloft, he called for his
wife, who thereupon emerged from
her position at the rear of the por-|
there and came timidly down the
stairs.
Behold what might hath DONE"
was his salutation. "And now Nehe-
miah Bodkin can depart for the office
in raaco MaopubiIo INV Ja,r yo,,