Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-10-21
Mr.. JOBSON'S PROMPTNESS

Mrs. Jobson," said Mr.. Jobson, when he
got home at 4:3O the other afternoon, Just
let me take this early opportunity to re-
mind you again that we're scheduled to go
to the theater this evening. 1t Is my desire
and purpose to reach the theater in time to
see the rise Of the curtain on the first act,
for once in the whole course Of my married
life, this evening. 1 want to see the begin
ming Of the show. L was unable to get aisle
seats, and l feel unwilling, on this part-
cular occasion, to trample seven or eight
unoffending men and women under foot in
order to reach my seat, just fourteen min
utes after the performance has begun,
when the orchestra is rendering shivery
music and the abused and starving woman
with the diamonds is narrattng The history
OF her life. Nor do L feel resigned, this
evening, to the spectacle of you completing
your toilet ON the street, after we start
Just see II you can't tog out in time for US
to make the break for the cars somewhere
in the neignborhood of 1880, and you'll do
me favor.
Mrs. Jobson smiled, and superintended the
setting OF the table. The dinner passed Off
quietly. After dlnner Mr.. jooSUn settied
himself in his easy chair and buried him
SELF in The Star. Darkness began to creep
on apace, as the lady novelties put 1t, anu
he Illuminated the house. When he nnish-
ed Inc Star he picked up the copy OF
David Harum that Mrs. Jobson had been
reading, and plunged into 1t.
This is the stuff they We been making
such row about muttered MIR. jobson To
himself when he sat down with the book,
and in less than eight minutes he had read
twelve pages OF IL ana hau forgotten ms
name and number. Mrs. Jobson had disap-
peared upstairs some time previously, but
ne didn't even hear her moving about in
her dressing room. After a while, however,
she called him.
It's getting late" she said. Aren't you
going To begin to dresS?'
over a page. He only had an indisunct
idea of what she was saying. Ten minutes
later she called to him again.
Il am pretty nearly ready, she said
and it's 80. Aren't you going to change
your clothes?'
'.Um-m-uh-huh," answered Mr.. Jobson,
pulling out another cigar, which he didn t
light. but chewed on-he was too much en-
crossed with the book.
AT 1925 Mrs. Jobson tripped down stairs,
all ready. Even her gloves were buttoned.
''Well? said she, smiling at Mr.. Jobson.
HUH he inquired, looking up at her
Where you going?"
1T seems to me that we had intended at
tending some theatrical performance this
evening. had we not?' she inquired, still
smiling
Mr.. Jobson surveyed her in a mystified
sort of way, and then pulled out his watch.
BY jung. l believe there was something
said about the theater this evening" he ex-
claimed. "Hows it happen that you're all
ready ! ana why ulGn you just UP me OIL,
by the way, that it was time for me to be
getting arrayed in purple and fine linen?"
Il called you several times, said Mrs.
Jobson.
He laid the book down and regarded here
severely.
Called me several times. hey?" said he
skepticaly. Mrs. Jobson, l don't clam to
be getting any younger, like some people l
know, but it's simply out of the question
for you to attempt to make me believe that
In as deaf as a post. Don't you suppose L
could have heard you if you had leaned
over the bdnisters, and talked above a
whisper? But l through your little
game. Just because l happened to remind
YOU this afternoon that it would be a good
scheme for you to be ready on time, you
inquired that ii would be funny to sneak up
stairs at about $50 walk around on tip
toe while you fixed up and permit me to
doze off in my chair here, Just sos you
could have it on me about not being ready
myself Spose you thought that was a
really subtle scheme and hard to see
through, hey?"
And he went muttering upstairs to get
ready. He found the buttons all placed in
ms shirt and everything laid out on the
chairs, but still he muttered. Mrs Jobson
didn't stand in the hall and shout uD to
him, Hey. there, you going to be all
night getting those buds on?" as Mr.. Job
son would have done under reversed cir
cumstances. She calmly sat down and in
terested herself in a magazine
AT $40 he clOmped down stairs with his
tie very much mussed and to one side his
hair parted in several different places aud
with the sanguinary marks of several cuts
ne had inflicted upon himself in shaving
sun showing quite prominently. They
reached the theater at $40 and seven per
sons mad to stand to let them pass to their
seats. n.r. JObSOn sat and watched the re-
mainder Of the play in gloomy silence He
dldn say word on the way home As he
got a Decline on the bed with his hand on
the gas Key, preparatory to putting out the
llsnt, however, he addressed her thus:
Mrs. Jobson a jokes a joke but a put
up job Is a different sort of proposition
you weren't cut out for light comedienne
me next time you feel inclined to be fun
ny, just count up to 1874, and take sevan
steps to the rear That'H give you chance
to decide to pass up your elephantine mani
Iestatlons OF humor. By the time you learn
your limitations you are liable not to have
any husband, and he won't be In Oak Hin,