davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1899-11-25

No mans authority is as great with
It's employees after they have found
hat his wife makes her boys wsax
ing curls. -
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1899-11-25
Fake Detectives.

when a criminal or a witness during
some case says that he saw detective
standing at certain corner the public
opens its mouth wide and haw-haws
until it's sides ACHE" remarked a de-
tective.
when it Is told that a whole army
of fake detectives are specially kept to
be seen it will probably half shut its
mouth and strain its eyes. Yet such
is the case.
MANY years ago it was found that
the best way to capture criminal red
handed was to let him think he knew
the police. So when a new man is
taken into the detective service he gen.
orally has to act his part. He makes
himself conspicuous in some way In
order to draw the victims attention
TO him while the real detective works,
metaphorically, behind his back. The
fact that this system has been, and
still is, followed by every country, both
European and otherwise, that has a
police force is perhaps its best recon-
mediation"
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1899-11-25
The Fruit Was Wax.

When the great account is rendered,
when the final balance is struck, it
may be found that Uncle Russell Sage
has credit with Kingdom Come. On
earth for the last twenty-five years the
old miser has been the butt end Of all
complaints. Many manufactured
story of money meanness has been
fastened upon him because he was good
tackle to carry it. His hospitality also
has come in for more than one score
The latest is about a meeting of a board
Of directors. Having no other place
so cheap, Sage invited the members to
his house, where business was trans
acted In the dining-room. On the table
was a magnificent basket OF fruits,
and visions of wine and salads, brandy
and cigars, arose. Refreshments, how
ever, failed to materlalize. and when
the old man left the room director
said, soto voce. Gentlemen, there be-
ing nothing else in sight, l shall help
myself to a pear" The action was suit
ed to the word. but the pear was wax.
New York Press.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1899-11-25
She Rattled Dewey.

Dewey once attended wedding
breakfast at which the able Baroness
de Strive, wife of the Russian min
lister at that time, was present Dewey
had met this famous woman several
times before. The facial plainness of
the baroness was quite beyond belief,
but she was one of the most brilliant.
lOvable and kindly women ever elected
to guide the social affairs of the diplo-
matte corps in Washington. lady
who overheard it tells of an amusing
passage which the baroness and Dew
ey (who, If memory serves, was then
commander had at this particular
wedding breakfast.
Referring to leather" said the bar
oness amiably, after some playful re-
mark as to the spick-and-span polish OF
Dewey's sword-belt-he was in dress
uniform-"the most remarkable bit Of
Russian leather in the world is my
face"
Dewey was as quick a thinker then
as he is now, but this stalled him.
Madame" he said, after pause, 81
am but rough sailor man, and this is
heavy demand which you make upon
me. l am not equal to the emergency"
"Of course" said the baroness. tap
ping with her fan, II should have to
consider you hopelessly rude were you
to agree with me. But you can pre-
serve your neutrality-naval officers
are taught that, are they not?-by tell.
ing me what really fine eyes l have
They are very fine, are they notT'
Thus assisted. Dewey rose to the oc
casion. The baroness eyes were, IN
truth, magnificent Washington Post
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1899-11-25
TELLTALE CROSS OF TAILOR
Chalk Mark on His Coat Got Him in
Troubir with Everybody.

=
Troubi- with Evervbod
There is a story of an envious tailor
current with the French peasantry He
fancied that his neighbor, who received
a pension for the loss of an arm incur
red while fighting for his country, was
better off than himself. Both men went
10 pay their rent on the same day, says
the Youths Companion.
That's a lucky man." said the tailor
to the landlord. He gets we'll paid for
his arm
But who would be willing to part
with an arm, even if he were paid for
it?" said the landlord.
II would" declared the tailor
your cried the landlord. why,
man, you wouldn't be willing to bear
anything of the sort no matter how
much you were paid for it,"
Il wish some one would try me-"
'Now, see here" said the landlord.
who had studied human nature, "I'n
tell you what, if you'll wear even so
much as a chalk mark on your back III
remit your rent as long as you wear it
on your coat so it can be seen. the con-
dition being that you tell no one why
1t is there"
Agreed" said the tailor. That's an
easy way to pay rent!'
SO the chalk mark in the form of a
cross was made on the back of his coat,
and the delighted tailor sailed forth
upon the street.
Strangers and acquaintances hailed
him to tell him of the mark ON his
back. Jokes We're made at his ex-
pense, children laughed and pointed at
him, and his wife annoyed him with
questions, and with conjugal familiar.
ity told him he was fool. The usually
amiable man grew surly and morosc;
he Stunned men, women and children.
and frequented back STREETS. Before
the week was up the tailor found him
self embroiled in a quarrel with his
best friend, his wife had threatened to
leave his house. and he considered him
self miserable and ill-used.
Finally, one night he took off his
coat and rubbed out the chalk mark
and said: "There, l would not wear
that cross ON my back another week
no, not if | could have. all the money
there is in PARISH
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1899-11-25

day an tell her to her face what think
of this performance. I'll tell her some
thing that'l make that turkey taste
mighty bitter in her mouth, now see if
don'tv
1t was a raw, cold and sunless day.
Miss Podd's anger had made her forget
that she was not feeling WELL and soon
after noon she set forth from her own
snug and pretty home to visit the far
from attractive and comfortable home in
which her cousin lived.
There had no money for repairs of
any kind on the Deane place and Miss
Podd relented very little bit as she
noted the forlorn aspect Of the place But
she was determined to carry through
what she had undertaken. 1t was unlike
the Podds to swerve from any fixed res
olution, and Miss Podd's face wore a
hard, grim, resolute look as she knocked
at the Deanes back door, .
"I'll face 'em when they're in the very
act OF eatin' my turkey" she had said to
Job. "I'll make that turkey change from
sweet to bitter in their mouthsv
Someone called out "Come In" and
Miss Podd entered the Deane kitchen
just as Mrs. Deane and her five children
| had seated themselves at table on
which there was no sign of a turkey OF OF
a Thanksgiving feast of any kind. A
plate Of corned beef and a dish OF boiled
potatoes were the chief dishes on the ia
bic. Mrs. Deane's surprise when she saw
who her caller was was manifest in her
face.
"Why-Cousin Phoebew she said.
Miss Podd's sharp eyes took in at
glance the poorly spread table and the
air Of poverty the interior Of the house
presented, and her first words were:
well. Thyrza Deane, Is this thu best
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1899-11-25
Customs Probable Suggestion.

The antiquarian will tell us that
Thanksgiving day was suggested by the
Hebrew Feast of the Tabernacles" or
Feast of Ingathering" at the end of the
year. Occasional thanksgiving was not
unusual in Europe, and such day was
observed in Leyden, Holland, Oct. 3.
1915, the first anniversary of the deliver
ance of that city from siege. The pill
grim fathers, however, are unquestion-
ably to be credited with inaugurating the
day in America and it has become pure
ly an American observance equally rec
ognized with Christmas and New Year.
AS we gather at the well-filled boards
let us cast a passing thought on those
earnest men and women in the peaked
hats and quaint hoods who have taught
us to give thanks for the blessings of life.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1899-11-25

entire focI; CO turkeys for market after
Job, the hired man. had done duty as
butcher.
The plump young gobbler alone was
spared, but his end was 10 come on
Thanksgiving day.
Although it'd be a mercy 10 kill him
now" said Miss Podd to Jane Gray,
hell feel so lonely without his mates.
Iii have Job kill i'm early Thanksgiving
morning and put i'm in the ice house to
cool off fore roast i'm, an | don't think
I'll have any one here this Thanksgivin'.
| amt feeln' right well an | don't feel
able to fuss round gettin' up big din
ner. l don't seem TO have any interest
in Thanksgiving this year."
But her interest was aroused when Job
came in on Thanksgiving morning, and
informed Miss Podd that the young COB
bier was not to be found.
I've looked high and low for i'm,
ma am; an he amt to be found nowheres.
I've my s'picions where he went
You have? Well, why don't you come
out an say what you think?" asked Miss
Podd irritaby.
II think he was stolen. ma am.'
at looks like it," said Miss Podd.
IAN I've my s'picions who stole i'm"
"Who?"
"Well. | met that Oldest boy OF the
Widow Deane's in the woods near your
barn last evening just at dusk an he had
white an black turkey gobbler slung
over his shoulders. He made off mighty
fast when he saw me. | never thought
anything about it until come to look up
your turkey this morning, and couldn t
lind him."
And you amt seen my turkey since
you saw Joe Deane with a gobbler like
mine on his back?"
"No, ma am The last | saw of your
turkey was about o'clock yesterday af-
ternoon when | see i'm goin out toward
the timber back o. the barn. It's my
opinion that the Deane boy swiped that
gobbler."
Miss Podd was in just the right mood
to be easily led TO this same conclusion
and her wrath knew no bounds when she
had finally decided that Job was correct
in his surmise.
YES" she said finally, that boy nab
bed my turkey, an he probably did it out
of pure spite. But then he had a great
uncle on the Deane side who was one,
arrested for stealth an the failin' ha:
prob'ly cropped out in Thyrza's children
| But she'll wish she'd raised 'em better
fore night. 1 amt crossed her Doorstep
for most six years, but I'll cross it to
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1899-11-25
Rich Booty.

In 1879 when Delhi was sacked by
Nadir Shah. after he had defeated the
Moguls at Karnal. 100000 of the in-
habitants were put to the sword and
treasure was carried off to the value
of at least $750,OOO,OOO. Some say the
value was $1,5OO,0O0,O00. and one
writer says $3,0O0,0OO Again.
when Alexander the Great overthrow
Darius. the Persian, Babylon opened
it's gates to the conquerOr, who OBJ
tanned. though without plundering the
city, enormous treasures that had
been collected by Darius. Three weeks
later at Sura he seized $6O,00O,00O. A
little later Persepolis, a magnificent
city, and the favorite capital of Darius,
was captured by him. The place was
sacked and the great palace burned.
The plumber obtained is said to have
been worth $14O,OOO,OOO, and included
enormous stores Of gold. silver and
precious stones, boarded up there by
the Persian monarchs.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1899-11-25
NEW IDEAS OF INSURANCE.
Some Day Some One VIII Organize q
Company Like This.

Some Day some Oue VIII organize n
Company Like This.
The insurance solicitor sat in his Of
fee in the Rookery, and he was abash-
ed. 1t takes a great deal to abash an
insurance solicitor, but the big man IN
the opposite chair has been venting his
views The solicitor had been chasing
him for six months for $4,000 policy,
and then, after he had run his intended
victim into the home office, the doctors
had turned him down.
Told me my liver was out of order"
said the big man, indignantly. "Said
had a murmur in my lungs, and talked
about sister who died thirty years ago
and a lot more rot like that"
"AH of which was no doubt true"
said the insurance man, but" seeing
that the big man was going to flare up
again. you need not get alarmed about
your health. Some of these days, when
/ can't make more than $4,000 a year
at this business, I'm going to start am
insurance company ON new lines.
viii take all the men that have been re-
jected by the other companies"
Iudl WOulu De ldkluS DlS IlSks.
wouldn't it?"
II don't think so. In the first place l
would charge an extra premium. Then
l would bank ON human nature.
Haven't you noticed that these big,
strong fellows, who neverhad-a-day
sickness in-my-life,' go off like child
at the first serious Illness? Scared to
death, maybe. Anyhow, if you want
to see tenacity of life, just study the
case of man in chronic poor health.
He takes no chances, guards himself
against changes of the weather, applies
remedies instantly, and the result is
that, while he never enjoys good health,
he prolongs his life twice as long as
the healthy fellow who takes all kinds
of chances. Insurance examiners must
report ON the physical condition only.
and can't make allowances for human
nature but It's there."-Chicago Times
Herald.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1899-11-25

| Thanksgiving dinner you're able to
haveY'
Eyes, 1t is. Phoebe said Mrs. Deane
with blush. ITS so poor, Phoebe, that
I'm ashamed to ask you to share it,"
Where's the turkey Joe brought home
last night?" asked Phoebe.
I'VE sold it. 1t was one he earned
huskin' corn all day for Andy Tetlow,
and we were too poor to keep it for our
selves, so l dressed it and Joe took It to
town after dark last night and exchanged
it for things we needed more than we
needed the turkey"
There was silence in the room for mo-
ment and then Miss Podd burst out i'm
petuously:
II amt fit to live No, I ANTI I'm
too miserably mean an narrow contract
ed to be respectable even! I'm"
why, Cousin Phoebe. ="
You jest keep still, Thyrza, an hear
me out! You know what l come here
for? Hey? No, you don't, an you amt
minded enough to guess! l come
here to accuse your boy Joe of stealth a
turkey from me! /"
why, Phoebe"
You keep still, Thyrza, an hear me
out, an then order me out If you feel
like it. A young gobbler l had was miss
in this mornin' an Job, my hired man,
saw your Joe goin' home las night with
a turkey on his back, an l was mean
enough to make myself think it was my
turkey, an here you are eatin' a Thanks
givin' dinner of corned beef an potatoes,
an more thankful for it, I'll be bound,
than am for all the good things I've got
in my cellar an pantry! I'm so ashamed
| of mysefr'
"Why, Phoeber'
"But this is what you've got to 10,
Thyrza; you an the children must 90
right home with me an keep Thanksgiv-
in. I'll kill pair O. chickens an well
make big potpie like we had the last
time you ct your Thanksgivn' dinner
with me. I've piles of pie an cookies an
doughnuts an big pound cake all baked
up! You've got to go, Thyrza, for the
sake of old times! Come on an welcome
to you ALP
There was no opposing Miss Podd anc
in fifteen minutes they were all on theil
way to her house, the two cousins walk
ing arm in arm.
When they reached Miss Podd's hous,
Job met them with a grin on his face.
That young gobbler's a good one," sale
Job. II reckon he thought he'd be smar
enough to save his neck l found hin
just now in the shed room. The windel
was up an l reckon he flew in there las
night an he found it so comfortable h,
concluded to stay right there, 'speshly a
there was a bag of corn there"
well, you get his head right off an
put him in the ice house to cool off," sale
Miss Podd. "Our dinner'll be late, Thyr
"a, but I'll set out good lunch to kline
O stay our stummicks an then you an
will pitch in an git up one O. the reg'la
Thanksgivin' dinners like we used to ri
up fore we was geese enough to fall out
But we've fell in again, as it were, an
it won't be my fault il we don't sta,
friends the rest of our ."-Detroi
Free Press.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1899-11-25
Therem Be No Parting There.

First Turkey Gobblet-I hear your so~
had a terrible experience on Thanksgiv-
ing day.
Second Turkey Gobbler-Yes; he was
all cut up By II.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1899-11-25


~ Podd across the barnyard fence to
Ter neighbor, Mrs. Trip, who said:
"They's as fine a lot O turkeys as ever
see. Miss Podd, and you'd great luck to
do so well with EN- Turkeys are dread
full hard things to raise. Don't you think
so?"
Eyes, they he; an I do'no as l shall
ever try it again. They need so much
coddlin' when they're little things an
they eat so much | doubt if it pays to
bother with 'em. But | thought I'd try
il once lust to see how | come out, an L
didn't lose a single one. One of 'em had
the pips, too but coddled it through all
right"
you'll sell some OF 'em at Thanksgiv-
ing time. s'poseY'
"Oh, yes; l callate on selling all but
that young gobbler, an I'm goin' to eat
him. I'm short of grain and it won't pay
me to buy feed for lot of turkeys.
They'd eat their heads off in six weeks.
Eyes, l s'pose so. Who you goin' to
have for comp'ny Thanksgivin 2"
al amt quite sure yet; but | guess it
won't be hard to git someone to come IN
an help eat plump, juicy young COB
bier like that"
mo. indeed. We're all goin' over 20
Hebron to eat dinner with my husband
sister. They're goin' to have big fam
ly reunion there, an sister counts on hay
in over forty to dinner"
at must be nice to have that many
own folks" said Miss Phoebe, with a
sigh Here amt got any kin at all.
There's your cousin Thyrza,' said
Trip
II don't count her as kim" said Phoe-
be Podd coldly, and she manifested her
resentment of Mrs. Trips suggestion by
turning about abruptly and walking into
the house, while Mrs. Trip walked down
vhe country road toward her own home,
saying to herself: eff ever there was Il
set piece Phoebe Podd is one. There's
nobody on earth she'd ought to have and
she'd like to have help her to eat that
young gobbler as Thyrza Deane and her
boys, but she'd die, Phoebe Podd would,
before she'd own up to it."
Miss Podd lived on a profitable little
farm left to her by her parents, who had
also left her cash and stock enough to
make her one Of the best off" women In
the neighborhood in which she lived. She
lived alone, with the exception Of hired
man.
Miss Podd and her cousin Thyrza had
been more like sisters than cousins in
their intimacy until a trihing disagree
ment had resulted in their complete es
arrangement, and it had been five years
since they had spoken to each other.
Mrs. Desne had become a widow dur
ing these FIVE years, and she had been re
duced from a state of ease and plenty t
one of hardship and poverty. But these
facts had apparently made no differenc,
with Phoebe Podd, for she continued tC
utterly ignore the existence OF her cousin
I'D like to see myself asking Thyrzs
Deane and her young ones to come anC
help me eat that turkeyw said Miss PodC
spitefully as she went into her spotles.
kitchen and banged the door behind her
1--WE a good mind never to speak t.
Sarah Trip again for mentioning th'
name OF Thyrza Deane to me!'
Three days before Thanksgiving Mis-
Podd engaged the services Of Jane Gray
a woman who worked out" In the neigh
borhood, and the two women dressed tn
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1899-11-25
Relief for Insomnia.

A Swiss physician. DR.. Otto Naegeli.
declares that the best way to overcome
Insomnia is to initiate the breathing Of
4 man who Is asleep, and to make the
head undergo the various movements
% one side and the other which one
occasionally makes while falling asleep
q a sitting posture.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1899-11-25
Why School Is Closed.

Teacher-And now, Johnny, tell me
why school will be closed on Thanksgiv-
ing day?
Johnny-So that we may have some
thing to be thankful for.-School Board
Journal.
The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1899-11-25
f0Rktf.

NJ Els, come out better with EN-
w than expected said Phoebe
y Podd across the BARNARD fence to
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-09-14
a WONDERFUL CURE
OF DIARRHOEA.

A PROMINENT VIRGINIA EDITOR HAL
ALMOST GIVEN UP, BUT WAS BOUGHT
BACK TO PERFECT HEALTH BY CHAM
BERLAIN's collie, CHOLERA AND DIAR-
RHOEA REMEDY. READ HIS EDITORIAL.
From the Times. Hillstille. Va
| suffered with diarrhoea for long
time and thought | was past being cured.
had spent much time and money ana
suffered so much misery that had al
most decided to give up all hopes of re-
coyery and await the results, but motto
ing the advertisement of Chamberlain
Collie. Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy
and also some testimonials stating how
some wonderful cures had been wrought
by this remedy, | decided to try It, After
taking a few doses | was entirely well OF
that trouble. ard wish to say further to
nav readers and fellow-sufferers that lam
:, ils.te ana heart, man to-day and feel as
well as ever did in my life Sold by
Henry Hinrichs Druggist sep2o
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-09-14
NOTES FROM MAPLE GROVE.

A number from here attended the
County Fair last week
The Branch school opened last week
with an atTe' dance of 80.
Prin G. NJ. Morrissey of Chiffon spent
Saturday and Sunday at home.
Messrs. Murphy and Savage have fin
ished their work on the Plank road.
Miss Ida Ording of Green Bay was the
guest of Miss Adela Lawrence last week.
J. p Watt Tim Keehan and Martin
O'Connor are attending the State Fair
p. J. Linane began his 9th years work
in Dist No. on Tuesday of last week.
Reedsville school opened on Monday.
on pupils will be allowed to attend
year
eter Herman, Jacob Brey and George
.lwig of the Branch are attending the
tate Fair.
Miss Frida Reinaman and Mr.. Theo-
/ dore Bremen were married in Reedsville
! on Tuesday last.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-09-14
NOTES FROM COMPENSATORY.

Mrs. Aldrich of Colorado is the guest
of Mrs. c. King.
Mrs. C. Steinbrecker is spending few
weeks in Kaukauna.
Mrs. Edwards and family are the
guests of Mrs. w Elmer.
Mrs. Schlosser of Lena is visiting with
the family of B. Schneider.
Rev. Pelligren, our ex-pastor, Is re-
ported i'll at Kenosha with cancer of the
nose.
A two year old daughter OF Charles
Franz died of whooping cough on Sun
day last.
The village school has the largest at
tendance that it has had for years, ow'
ing to the Catholic schools being closed
Joe Nauchtwey, Nick Wegner, John
SNYDER. John Bartelme and Eugene
Steinbrecker are attending the State Fan
at Milwaukee during the week.
The Catholic church here is still with
out a pastor. The congregation, never
theless show their regard for the Sab
bath by attending church on Sundays
The cave season is almost over. Las
Sunday several young people OF Two
Rivers and Green Bay braved the in
clemency of the weather and came here
for picnic,