Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1899-07-28

O 2O0p 80
where I got acquainted with him."
The summer-garuen: Jasgles -
What have the theatrical managers
done to elevate the stagew WagKles-
Moved 1t up to the roof."Judge.
The novtce-"Do you find it hard
work. my boy?' The caddie-"Well, de
hardest parts keepin' from aughin'
when de guys miss de ball."-Puck.
Did that woman give any reason for
attempting suictde?" Yes, your hon
or" what was itr' "she says she
wanted to kill herself."-Chicago Rec.
ord.
Browne-"Waiter. bring me a dozen
oysters on the half-shell." Waiter
Sorry, sab, but we's all u Of shell.
ffsh. sab. 'ceptin' aigs."-Rocheste,
Union and Advertiser.
She (coquettishlyl-"I read the other
day. Cousin Charley. that marriage is
declining" He dnsp,rede"oh, that's
quite wrong. Marriage is-accept1ng.'
(Seizes the opportunity and proposes.)
Punch.
What are you signing for" asked
the Registry Department Of the Dead
Letter Once. ''No n has so many
rejected addresses as l." was the sor.
rowful reply. - P1ttsburg Chronicle
Telegraph.
Minister-"My poor woman. you mus
be full of regret for the awful crime
you committed" Condemned murder
ess-Yes; 1 should have done It TWEEN,
" PEARS ago, when 1 was young and
Observation-Disclosures.
my husband said Mrs. Malaprop,
rs Just crazy over the opening of the
fishing season. He can't think or talk
of anything else" "Eond of the sport,
e heT" asked her friend. well,
should say so! He's "a regular Anglo
maniac"
Mrs JacksonF"Speakin' oh your hus.
ban. Mrs Wimple, did he evan convey
to you dat he done propose to me befo'
he married youy' Mrs. Wimple-
Deed he didn't: He was so ashamed
OBJ some OBJ de fings be did dat I nevah
AiCiGtSA ukO4 a COuIc66lOa. -llIIe.
An exchange Of shots: Mr.. Wedd
GENERALIZATION look as II you had
been rubbing your face all over the in.
side Of a powder-factory." Mrs. Wedd
(sweetly maliciousE"Perhaps 1 have,
love; but It is slnokeless powder and
doesn't smell like a barroom."Judge.
"Weil Old man, I guess 1 better g
home My wife will raise a holy row,
even as 1t Is" why don't you do as
do when you find yosl have stayed Out
too iateY" What do you dol" II jus,
keep on staying out until 1 know she is
scared and will be oyerjoyed to sec
me-"
ain the spring a young mans fancy
lightly turns to thoughts of love-" h
said. She sighed and shook her head
That's the trouble" she replied; "they
turn lightly instead OF seriously" Fol
b was a girl VINO had been through
several spring engagements.-Chicagt
Post.
Tommy" said a father to his pre-.
cocaous 5yeafSold son and heir, "you1
mother tells me she gives you pennies
to be good. Do you think that h rfght?'
"Of course it Ia replied Tommy; you
certainly don't want me TO grow up and
be good for nothing. do you?-Chicago
News
A Young hopeful sat IN the window a
hong time the other night during a
thunder storm, and contemplated the
scene with a wise look on his face.
Then he turned to his mother. and said;
"Mamma, the angels are scratching
matches on the sky" Household
Words.
a different commodity: Mrs. Newly.
wedRT don't e why you are in such
a hurry to get to work. mornings. You
used to ssy that you could love nc
through all eternity" Mr. Newiywed-
"And so I can and will, dearest; bla
time on earth is more valuable, you
know."-Judge.
MI. Courtney tfatteringly-"I haG
the blues awfuny when I came here to
night Miss Fisher. but they are al
Gons now. You are as good as medi
c4ns." Miss Fishers little brother
Yes; father says she'll be a drug il
the market II she doesn't catch on II
some fellow soon.--Ttt-Btts.
An unavailable Endorsements: Clerk
Ito patent medicine man)-'Here is a
curious credentialt from one Of our Gus
TONER'S" Medicine man-"Read it,
Clerk-" BEFORE I took your Elixir my
face raj a sight. You ought to see IL
now. Send me another bottle for my
neutrality-suspicious. Life.
Remember, boys" said the master
that in the bright lexicon Of youth
there's no such word as FALL" After 9
few moments a boy raised his hand
We'll. what rs It my lad?'' asked the
muster. II was merely going to sug
gest." replied the yolngster, that II
such is tl,e cnse it would ne advisable
to write to the publishers Of that lexi
on. and call their attention to ths
omission."-T1t-Bits
"rheodos," said Mrs. Hardscrabbe
y