Fergus County argus. [volume] (Lewistown, Mont.) 1886-1946, 1899-08-09

word?"
Couldn't be better, your honor.
II [ were you | d send II to a taxi
dermist and have IL stuffed"
"Well, as ! was saying when you
interrupted me, II any osculating ami
NAL lands here he won't find an open
ing and will retire to Lewistown In
disgust, and II Mayor Barnes tends
to his business properly you can bet
your back the next you hear Of the
kissing bug he'll be breaking his
kisser on the blue-nosed maidens
across the line. BY the way, speak
ing OF Mayor Barnes, isn't it the
proper thing for me to send him a
greeting of some kind, just to let him
know | sympathize with him in his
hour of trial?!"
l call upon the editor of the Demo-
crat to throw his protecting arms
around Mayor Barnes and save him
from this celamitous old man from
Garneill, for ii in the innocence OF his
heart he submits to a single inter-
view-well, in anticipation OF what
might occur | advise him to take out
an accident policy in some reliable
company, for If this diabolical old
man Is allowed TO talk twenty min
utes Lewistown's mayor will come
out of it shy an arm or a leg.
Just ms | got throughputting these
last few impressions on paper the
mayor looks in with:
"Jinks, do you know that you
haven't a bit OF refinery"
The old maj il hot now; | can al
ways tell it by the way he gets his
English mixed.
You don't seem to appreciate my
presence here. Instead OF killing the
fatted calf and bringing in the
'couchee-couchee' girls you've been
writing like an amenuensis and grin
ming like a chimpanzee. You're not
interviewing me, are you? IL | ever
catch you at that there'Il be acripple
in the links family"
mo. your honor, you are not be-
ing intprviewed-not exactly. But
then, as mayor Of Garneill, your
name will appear more or less in
public print, and now that you've
accused ME of lack of refinery
"Who said refinery"
"You did, your honor"
IF l did I'm a Jew. No. sir, | said
refinement"
"Well, then, let it go at that. But
do you know, as an exchange OF COM
pliments Lean accuse you of being
lacking In official etiquette"
Lacking in official ipecac-I mean
etiquette! How SOP"
"Well, to begin with, you are al
ways absent when visitors arrive.
They all complain that instead OF be-
ing received by you they find me act
ing for you, and they are kicking
about having to put up with a sub
stitute when they go out of their
way to see the real thing"
"Who il it | haven't SEEM"
"WhO is 1t you have seen? is the
question. To begin with, there was
Frank Smith who honored us with a
visit a few Sundays ago.
"No, that's SO, | didn't see Frank,
and l was terrible sorry, too; but
you know how that was. couldn't
disappoint that party going to the
ice cave"
"No more of the ice cave, your
honor. I've heard that story thirty
times since you got back, so ii you
please don't mention that story
again, for every time you do ] feel
there Is a GOODNESS between us. It's
all very well to drop your toga onto
my shoulders, but you must recollect
1t was not made for me and some
time-as Mrs. Partingtonsays, pare
gorically speaking'-lM walk on the
tail Of your toga and bust it up the
back"
Well, how about the county attor-
ney? hope you did the right thing"
"Oh, yes. / called out the band and
set 'em up several times lat the town
pump"
"Say, Jinks, you didn't"
"Your honor, | had to or see him
die Of thirst"
Cad, I'm glad | wasn't here to see
him suffer. Well, | hope for his sake
he is n Baptist and believes in I'M
mersion. Say, Jinks!"
WHAT"
"It's horrible, amt it,"
"Beastly! Say, your honor, let'sgo
have a light one"
son who?r
ION the pump"
Garneill, July 20, 1870.
A Mother Tells How She Saved Hel
Little Daughters Life.