davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-01-11
No Objections.

A short time ago n somewhat laughable
incident took place in a church in the
north of England. The minister after
proclaining the banns of matrimony be-
tween a young couple concluded by say
ing, eff there be any objections, they can
now be stated
A fashionable youth, an old admirer of
the intended bride, noticing the eyes of a
portion of the congregation fixed upon
him, rose up and exclaimed, 81 have no
objection for my own part" to the aston
ishment of all about him, and resumed
his seat as If he had done a mere formal
piece of business.-London t-Bits
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-01-11
Here and There.

Hot cakes at Smiths Creamery.
Telephone Troy Laundry No. 27S.
Best coffee at Smiths Creamery.
Paso Steam Laundry. Phone Al.
Ell Pasoi company. Telephone
1856.
10 lbs pure leaf lard 75c at Ell Paso
Grocery Co.
Telephone 1855. Ell Paso Dairy COM
panv.
Oysters in every style is q specisty
at Smiths Creamery.
Attend the closing out eale of the
Port OF Liverpool store in @. Jusrez,
and save money. Goods going at great
ly reduced prices.
Pure milk and cream always on hand
at Smiths Creamery.
O'Brien Coal Co. sell pitch paper,
lime, cement, plaster, etc.
For short order and best cooking
go to Smiths Creamery.
Three cans pure fruit Jams for rs
cents at the Ell Paso Grocery Co.
Ell Paso Fuel Co. for best Cerrillos
coal, wood. kindling and feed.
Three cans pure fruit jams for 25
cents at the Ell PasO Grocery Co.
Heating Stoves and Ranges.
MOM8EN & THORNE.
Ask for "EL PASO TRANSFER"
the best s cent CIGAR on the market.
The best Mexican and Havana cigars
are made by the Ell Pas0 Cigar Mig
Co.
so Id. High Patent Flour Sl.OO.
70 10. (" Soc.
At Ell Paso Grocery Co.
Armour's gold band ham, gold band
bacon, white label leaf lard just receiv-
ed at the Ell Paso Grocery Co.
OVapOr and medicated baths At 416
North Oregon street Rheumatism
relieved at once; massage in all forms
Buy your coal from "O'Brien Coal
Co.," the agents and direct shippers
from the Cerrillos mines. phone 8.
Valley bran. wheat, choice clipped
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-01-11
FL pAs0 DAILY HERALD, WEDNESDAY, JANUARY II, 1899

the buried city," said II. B. Stevens,
yesterday, "reminds meithat an old man
came to me no. long ago and asked
permission to ,excavate on certain real
estate that control. He appeared to
be thoroughly convinced that a hidden
city was to be found beneath the soil of
Ell Paso..',
you'll have to: quit putting alkaH
water in your milk" said the barkeep-
er to the milkman. cit sours it with
in five hours. II you must water
your milk buy Deming water to mix
with it. If you do not change water
very soon will be compelled to get
milkman who does not tamper with
alkali water"
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-01-11

oats, Cerrillos coal, wood and kindling;
building material of all kinds. Ell Paso
Fuel Co. Phone Ito. All s. Santa Fe
ST.
The St. Louis Furniture Co. 81 Ell
Paso st., is selling it's entire new up to
date stock regardless of cost. Such
opportunities to buy furniture seldom
occur.
Hudson Hot Springs Mineral Water
unsurpassed for cure of rheumatism in
all forms, kidney sed stomach disor-
ders. First class hotel and bathing
accOmOd atoms at "Cas8 del COneuelO,"
now neatly finished throughout. Write
A. Z. Graham, Hudson, N. NJ, for
full information.
Learn to say "No" when q dealer of.
fers you something ''just as good" in
place of Hoods Ssrsaparilla. There
can be no substitute for Americas
greatest medicine.
Hoods Pills cure nausea, sick head.
ache, biliousness, and all liver ills.
Price ESQ.
We are authorized to close out the
remaining lots belonging to the Ell
Paso Building and Real Estate Co.
in the next 80 days at low prices, be-
ing lots 1857 block 226 and lots IL
IL, IS, IA block 223 and lots 10, 20, 81
%. %, "a, 25 also, al lots on Myrtle st.
This property must be sold before
January 1st., 1899. Apply to B. F..
HAMMETT.
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-01-11
DIR. KING. Specialist.
PRESIDENTIAL BLK.
CONSULTATION FREE

CURES Blood Poison
ing in all its stages; I'm
natural Discharges in 3
to IA days; Stri-ture re-
moved by electricity and
VaricOcle. Nervous De
bility, Looses. Eczema &
all Skin Erupt'ons with
out use of mercury. Ca
tarrhal and all Chronic
Diseases successfully
treated Write for symp-
tom blank. Cases treate,
DIR. KING & Co Il
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-01-11

Antiques have reached at last that
innocent but much maligned article of
wearing apparel, the garter. Pretty,
quaint clasps of old silver, set with the
pretty, soft red of the Persian coral, are
to be found in the oriental shons.
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-01-11
Funeral TODAY.

The funeral of Pearl Alder, aged
two years, child OF VIM. H. Alder of
the s, p. ,occurred.today at 100 O'Clock.
The funeral took place from the resid-
ence I'll Durango street, with inter-
ment at Concordis by Undertaken
ROSa
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-01-11
Indictments.

The following Indictments we're
made public today as the parties undo r
indictment have been arrested:
OJ. w. Scott, burglary; Susie Bridges,
theft from the person; M. Meelzozs,
theft from the person.
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-01-11

Mr.. Manuel E. Flores, notary public
and translator of Spanish and English,
has moved his office to the "Bronson
Block" Room No. II, where he will be
pleased to meet his friends and pa
irons. Mr.. Flores makes speciality of
the TRANSLATION of legal documents.
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-01-11

We have faithfully tried the baking
powder named Perfect and find it's
what you want because by buying from
factory 1t can be sold reasonably and
there is no question of it's purity.
Chas. F. Slack & Co.
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-01-11

We stamp your name in gold letters
on pocketbOoks, card and letter cases,
bill-books, memorandum, diaries, lap
tablets, travelling sets, valises and
chstelaine bags. HERALD Job Print
ing Department.
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-01-11
The Greatest Frenchwoman.


Rosa Bonheur at 70 is thus described
by correspondent of The Westminster
Budget: "Still hard at work as ever,
active as q girl and full of vivacity.
1t is difficult to believe that Rosa Bon.
heur is in her seventy eighth year. As
my visit was not that of the interview
er (never allowed to cross her court
yard), but of friend of dear English
friend, will say nothing of her sur
roundings, her animals, her park, her
conversation or of the stupendous canvas
she has in hand. will merely record
the unforgetable impression of the
greatest living Frenchwoman and the
greatest living woman artist.
"Rosa Bonheur's physiognomy, in
it's intense intellectually and ANNA
ton, recalls the portraits of Michelet
and Theirs. Her hair, i'm silvery slips,
is worn short, and adds to the impress
sion of similitude. do not think ever
saw SO striking face-a thoroughly
French face, moreOver-as were those
of the two great writer's just named.
Her hands, too, are remarkable, the
delicate taper fingers and flbert nails
being eminentIy characteristic Of her
country women. On the breast of her
black alpaca blouse, or, rather, short
coat, she wore the rosette of the Legion
of Honor-most priced, naturally, Of
her many decorations. Much more I
could say that would interest your read
ers. 1 will only add, as illustrative of
character, that my introduction was
from friend lost sight of for upward
of 40 years!'
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-01-11

Three cans pure fruit jams for Is
cents at the Ell Paso Grocery Co.
El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-01-11

Ca1amus is an excellent aromatic
stimulant and tonic. Useful in fiatulent
collie, especially of children. it is a
good substitute for soothing sirups. any
Of which contain more or less opium.
The root is the part used and is given
in the form of tea.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1899-03-08

In no other part OF the world In kiss.
ing so much In vogue ns In Russia
From time in,memorial 1t has been the
national salute Indeed 1t is more of y
greeting than caress.
III public affairs, as in private, tbi
kiss is an established custom. Fathers
and SONS kiss, old generals with rusty
musteches kiss, whole regiments kiss
The emperor kisses his officers. On II
reviewing day there are almost ms many
kisses as shots exchanged. II lillipu
tian corps of cadets have earned the i'm
peria approval, the imperial salute j.
bestowed upon the head boy, who pnescs
it ON with hearty report to his neigh
bor, be in bis turn TO the next, and 80
on, through the whole Juvenile body
On n holiday or fete day the young
aud delicate mistress of a house will!
not only kiss all her maidservants, tut
all her menservants, too, and IL the
gentleman does not venture above her
hand she ill.stoop and kiss his cheek
To judge also from the number nt
salutes the matrimonial bond in these
high circles must be one of uninterrupt.
ed felicity. A gentleman scarcely silters
or leaves the room without kissing his
wife either on her forehead, cheek or
hand
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1899-03-08

Curiously enough, the fact appears,
according to recent traveller among
the Indians Of Catuquinarn, between
the rivers Embrya and Embyrasu, that
those people have long employed wire
less telephony, but rather after the or
der of unwritten science
1t is made by digging a hole in the
ground inside a house and laying the
bottom with coarse sand, well piled.
On this is laid wooden drum or hol-
low cylinder Of wood. half filled with
fine sand and layers of broken wood,
bone and powdered mica-the upper
part Of the cylinder, which is empty,
rising above the floor Of the hut and
closed first by leather, then by wood,
and lastly by india rubber. Outside,
the cylinder is packed round with frag-
ments of wood, leather and resins, and
covered with hard rubber at the level
of the soil
To use this peculiar apparatus the
drum is struck by wooden hammer,
and the vibration is evidently transmit
ted through the soil. The answer is
heard in the drum, which acts as a
resonator, and messages are thus sent
over 1,500 yards from house to house.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1899-03-08

The intensity of application with
which the mind follows whatever 1t
lays hold of in literary pursuits is eS
emplifed in the case of Robert Aims
worth. celebrated writer and anti
quarian of the seventeenth century lie
had been for years engaged in a volumi
nous Latin dictionary, and while fas
cinated with this heroic work gave ~
little time and attention to his wife
that he incurred her bitterest jealousy
and before the work was quite complete
she committed the whole to the flames
Instead of abandoning himself to de
spair, Ainswortb set to work and re.
wrote it, accomplishing the entire WORK
in time The same bitter disappoint
ment was endured with similar heroism
by Carlyle when the manuscript Of his
Frederick the Great" was destroyed
by fire
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1899-03-08
THE POWER OF WILL.
He wanted to Live Four Days, and
He Succeeded.

lie wanted to Live Four Days, and
He Succeeded.
II would be vain to attempt to de-
scribe the sympathy for the poor and
suffering which William Stokes could
throw into his voice, says his biogra-
pher. One of the stories he used to tell
is of peculiar interest, not only for its
revelation of human kindness, but as a
proof of the power of the will in pro-
longing life.
An old pensioner was a patient of
Stokes in the Meath hospital. His life
was despaired of, and in fact, his death
was hourly expected. One morning,
having many patients to care for and
believing that the pensioner was uncon-
scious and past help, DIR. Stokes passed
his bed without stopping. The patient
was greatly distressed and cried out
Don't pass me by, docther; you
must keep me alive for four days.
"We will keep you as long as we
can. my poor fellow" answered Stokes,
"but why for four days particularly
because, was the reply, my pen
sion will be due then, and want the
money for my wife and children. Don't
give me anything to make me sleep, for
if sleep shall die"
On the third day after this, to the
amazement Of Stokes and others, the
patient was still breathing. On the
morning of the fourth day he was alive
and conscious, and on entering the
ward Stokes saw him holding in his
hand the certificate which required sig
nature. As the doctor drew near the
dying man gasped:
"Sign, signl"
The doctor quickly complied and the
man sank back exhausted and within q
few minutes crossed his hands over his
breast and said, 1.-THE Lord have mercy
on my soul, ;" and quietly breathed his
last
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1899-03-08
RUFFALO, ROCHESTER, & PITTS
- BURGH RAILWAY.

lime TABLE,
On and after January 1, 1899, passen-
ger trains VIII arrive and depart from Falls
Creek station daily, except Sunday, as fol-
lows;
DEPART.
For Dubois, Big Run and Punxsutawney
. 1039 II IN, l.3O, 355, 500 y m.
For Dubois. Curwensvile and Clearfield, 5.25
am, lao, 5.05 IN.
For Ridgway Bradford and Rochester, i0.m
For Rldgway. Bradford and Buffalo. LIS d. m,
For Reynodsville, l0.35 Il m. All p m.
ARRIVE.
From Punxsutawney, big Run and Dubois,
. 100, lO.il a m. LIS, 4l2 pm.
From Clearfeld, Curwensville and Dubois,
. lO31 m, l2.45. All, 1.53 pm
From Buffalo Rochester, Bradford and Ridg-
way, 3.55 p. m.
From Bradford and Ridgway. 1882 m. 3.55
u IN.
From Reynoldsville, LOS, 502 d. M
Passengers are requested TO purchase tick
cts before entering the cars. An excess
charge OF Ten Cents will be collected by con-
ductors when fares are paid on trains, from
allstations where ticket Office Is maintained.
Thousand mile tickets good for passage
over any portion of the b., X. & p. and Beech
Creek railroads are on sale at two ~ cents
per mile,
:. For tickets, time tables and full informa-
tion apply to
+. c. DAVIS. Agent, Reynoldsville, Pa.
Il. q. LAPEY, Gen. Pas. Agent,
Rochester N. Y.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1899-03-08
The story of a Letter.

The National Advertiser tells story
of an old bachelor who bought pair Of
socks and found attached to one of them
a slip of paper with these words: 81 am
a young lady of 90 and would like to
correspond with a bachelor with view
to matrimony." Name and address
were given.
The bachelor wrote, and in few
days got this letter: mamma was mar
ried 30 years ago. The merchant you
bought those socks from evidently did
not advertise or he would have sold
them long ago Mamma handed me your
letter and said possibly might suit
you. am 18 years old"
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1899-03-08
POlitics, Indeed.

"There is a rather crusty old gentle
man attending my church., says De-
troit clergyman, land his absence for
several weeks led me to call upon him.
He is not communicate, and l am
afraid at times that he is slightly skep-
tical. He is very pronounced in his po-
litical views, and as conversational ma
terial ran rather short sought to in
terest him by asking, 'How's politics2'
'How's politicsH' he repeated with
out change of countenance. 'How's
politicsf That's pretty question for
you to ask when you know that I
haven't heard you preach for the last
seven Sundays. "-Exchange.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1899-03-08

"Well sir. doircu7cd Horatio Bull
lion "what particular reason have
You TO offer for asking me to let you
have my daughter Gladys2"
"1--I love her md she loves me, ;"
Reginald Biddlothwaite replied.
"Oh Of course, tho blunt old mag
nate retortod. i've heard that song
from half dozen others. That's to be
taken for granted. Dut what othtr
qualifications have your"
al must confess, the trembling
young man answered, "that | am not
rich. but can truthfully say that
have no expensive habits. don drink
| don't gamble. don't chow tobacco
/ don { smoke. don't"-
"Hold on!" the millionaire broke in
"That's enough You'll do. Your
board and clothes won { cost much more
than the gas you've been burning late
ly. What object TO is supporting fell
lows like my other three sons-in-law.
who have all the faults you say you
have not. don't mind furnishing the
husbands of my daughters with the nee
essaries Of life. but do hate to have TO
settle the bills for their luxuries. Now.
there is inst one other point ! want to
have settled before give my consent. "
"What is that2' Mr.. Biddlethwaite
eagerly asked.
Promise me that you will not start
newspaper The others have all tried
it, and can't stand many more such
experiences.
Rcginald's promise made three hearts
happy. Leader.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1899-03-08
Where He Repaired II.

When illicit distilling was common
in the highlands, there was an old man
who went about the country repairing
whisky pots
The gauger met him one day and,
surmising that he had been doing re-
pairs at no great distance, asked what
he would take to inform him (the gaug-
cry where he repaired the last whisky
pot.
"Och," said the old man, ''she'll
shust tax hauf Groom"
"Donel' retorted the gauger. "Here
is your money, but be careful to tell
me correctly"
"Och, she'll no tell the gentleman a
lee
Getting the money, the old man
quietly remarked;
81 shust mended the last whisky pot
where the hole was. London Spare
Moments.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1899-03-08
HE FACED GREAT DANGER.
nut. Not Knowing II. lie Escaped He
Ing Considered Brave.

~ noticed couple OF "reminiscences
as TO my old branch of service, said
an ex-naval official to the writer,
(which reminded me of an incident in
my own career. | was an assistant en-
gineer on n cruiser bound from Norfolk
TO South American ports. and our ship
was telling off Ia or II knots an hour
one day. when n crank pin came out,
and the next instant the crank was
thrashing around in most recklessly
unsystemutic fashion. Everybody in the
engine room and there were some men
of considerable rank there just then, as
IL happened made dash for the deck.
Meanwhile | quietly took four or five
steps and shut off the steam. OF course
the engines stopped, and then followed
the delay caused by making the neces-
sary repairs.
at didn't occur TO me that had per-
formed any act of an especial character
until the chief engineer informed me
that | was n confounded fool Don't
you know your place under such cir
cumstances, sir2' he asked, aDd when
answered that | thought | had taken
my proper position he continued; "No,
sir your duty was to make your way
as soon as possible to the deck. With
that piece of steel whirling and crash
ing about it was one chance in thou
sand that single soul would escape an
instantaneous cooking, because If that
thing had carried away the steam CON
nections your life would have ended
right then.
"'Well. l took the chance. an
swered.
"'Yes, sir, you did, but You didn't
know it, therefore it is not at all to
your credit, was the chiefs answer,
and it was so absolutely true that |
couldn' for the life of me make any re-
ply. Detroit Free Press.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1899-03-08

Cnsar's creek, on the Florida coast.
was named after famous old pirate
called Black Caesar, whose profession
added to the risks of marine insurance.
After the pirates the Florida wreckers
came. of whom H. A. Willoughby, in
his "Across the Everglades, tells this
story;
A large steamer was stranded on the
reef not far from Cape Florida. No SOON
er had she struck than the news spread
rapidly along the shore, The people for
90 miles around gathered on the beach
opposite the stranded steamer. Among
them We're a number of Indians from
the Everglades, who CHANGED to be down
there and knew what "wreck" meant
to the wreckers.
The steamer, loaded with an assorted
cargo, began to break up, and barrels,
cases and boxes drifted gradually ashore.
There were casks Of wine, boxes of soap,
cases Of bottles of wine and iron and a
hundred other articles The Indians
seized upon the wine and soon were in
n condition that allowed the white men
to secure the more valuable prizes
The squaws struck bonanza in a
case of vaseline. They thought it a new
variety Of the white mans frying fat
and, starting fire, fried pancakes in it.
What a dish-pancakes a la Seminole
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1899-03-08
Ingenious.

my wife is the most ingenious wom-
IN who ever lived, ".said Ripper.
81 believe you. returned Nipper po-
Gtely.
"But you don't know why you be-
lieve me-" intimated Ripper.
"To tell the truth, don't" replied
Nipper. looking bored.
"Well, I'll fell you. We've been
married 12 years and lived in the same
house all the time, and this morning
she found new place in which to hide
my slippers. London Standard.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1899-03-08
DENNsYLvANIA RAILROAD.
Philadelphia & Erie Railroad Division.
In effect Nov. 20, 1898. Trains leave
Driftwood as follows:
EASTWARD


9:03 a m-Train &, weekdays, for Sunbury,
Wilkesbarre Hazleton, Pottsville. Scranton,
Harrisburg and the intermediate sta
tions, arriving at Phladelphia S;3 p. M.
New York, $3.50 p. m; Baltimore, $500 y. M;
Washington, 7:l5 p. nj Pullman Parlor car
from Willlamsport to philadelphia and pas
senger coaches from Kane to Philadelphia
and Williamsport TO Baltimore and Wash
ington.
4:03 p. m.-Train 0, weekdays, for Har-
risburg and intermediate stations, ar
riving at Philadelphia 4:30 A. NJ; New York,
7;3 A. NJ. Pullman Sleeping cars from
Harrisburg to Philadelphia and New York.
Philadelphia passengers can remain In
sleeper undisturbed until 1880 A. NJ.
1912 p.m.--Train 4, daily for sunbury, Harris
burg and intermediate stations, arriving ut
Philadelphia, 6:52 A. M; New York, 9:33
AN An on week days i and ioSs NJ on Sun
Transport to Philadelphia and wiliiamsport
for and w sHepSs BE-
transferred into Washington sleeper at Will
Transport. PASSENGER coaches from Erie to
Philadelphia and Williamsport to Balti-
WESTWARD
4:3s n. m.--Train 0, weekdays, for Erie, Ridg
way, Dubois, Clermont and principal inter
9;44 n; M; Train 3, daily for Erie and inter-
mediate points.
5:41 p. m--Train 10, weekdays for Kane and
intermediate stations.
FROM THE EAST AND SOUTH.
TRAIN leaves New York $3.50 p. m. Philadol-
phia $3.50 p. m; Washington 7:20 p. m, Bal
timore $40 p. M, arriving at Driftwood 4:3s
a. M. weekdays, with Pullman sleepers and
passenger coaches from Philadelphia TO
Erie and Washington and Baltimore to
Willlamsport.
TRAIN Is leaves Philadelphia $3.50 A. M,
Washington, 7.50 A. M; Baltimore, $3.50 A. NJ;
Wilkesbarre, 1918 A. M; weekdays
Pullman Parlor car from Philadelphia to
Williamsport and passenger coach to Kane
TRAIN leaves New York at 7;40 p. m; Phila-
Baltimore, 1850 p. M; daily arriving at
Driftwood at 9:4 q. m. Pullman sleeping
cars from Phila. to Williamspt, and through
passenger coaches from Philadelphia to
Erie and Baltimore TO Williamsport. On
Sundays only Pullman sleeper Philadelphia
to Erie.
JOHNSONBURG RAILROAD.
(WEEKDAYS)
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1899-03-08

The tramp had been very impertinent
and dictatorial until the hired man nm
expectedly made his appearance and in
quircd. "Are you lool,in fur scrap2'
His manner changed entirely. and ~
once he answered "Yes. sir, that y
what I'm lookin fur--a scrap o cold
turkey er cold ham er anything that
happens to be handy "'-Washington
Star
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1899-03-08

The earliest known mention of the
pianoforte was in playbill dated May
16, 1857. The principal attraction was
given thus; "Niiss Buczler will sing a
song from Judith, accompanied by q
new instrument called pianoforte.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1899-03-08
No wonder Russia Is Ignorant.

Russia, with her population of $780, :
600, 900, has only 743 newspapers, but
little more than half the number pub
lished in the state of Pennsylvania,
which is 1,430. OF the 743 there are
$50 printed in Russian, SO in Polish,
A in German, 0 in French, 8 in Ar
menian and in Hebrew. No English
newspaper appears in the list.
The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1899-03-08

"Ladies and gentlemen" said an
irish manager to an audience of three,
"as there is nobody here, I'll dismiss
you all. The performance of this night
will not be performed, but win be re-
peated tomorrow evening"