The state rights democrat. [volume] (Albany, Linn County, Oregon) 1865-1900, 1899-09-22
"He Is Greatly Expanded"
EprroR pEMooaAr:

EDITOR DEMOCRAT:
That /, what the DEMocRAr said ate
reporting the return OF C1LEBs tom hi
ten. week outing at Sodaville. Whei
the expanded" read the reeult OF MI
outing, he smiled and passed 10 The mex
item Of news, thinking that 1t wac only
the D1xocRAr's "schediasticar way al
having a little fun at his expense At
terwasds, when the witty remark pre-
sented itself for further consideration, II
set him to thinking; aud the more he
thought about it, the moe he thought
there was in II and felt, as the former
editor OF the DEMccRAr put 1t, that he
must write something on the subject OF
expansion.
The fret thought that came into his
mind was, that the DEMocRAr was op'
posed to his expansion, although moth
log 10 that effect was said. IL was an
inference drawn from the DENocRAr
iuregari to the recent expansion OF the
U. s.
His next thought was one that he
never would have thought, ii the DENo-
GRAFT had net set HE thinking apparatus
to work; and that is, that there is a
striking resemblance between his expan-
sion and that OF Uncle sam. Expansion
has been ths traditional policy Of both
for many years. Uncle Sam has been in
business for almost century; C.ELRBs
has been ut it more than half that time;
aud both are more expanded than at any
other period oil their traditional policy.
The expansion Of both was brought about
ia very much the same wav. Uncle
Sam undertook the Hispano- American
war in the interests OF humanity in Gu
ba. CKLEBs went to Sodaville in the
Interests of one homo. The fortunes OF
war, under the divine guidance, made
Uncle Sam responsible for the govern
ment OF the Philippine islands, although
be had no thought Of conquest when he
undertook the war. The fortunes of a
ten. week outing resulted in the expan-
sior of C.ELEBs, although that was not
his purpose in going to Sodaville. In |
each case "it has done gone and expand.
ed without the consent OF ANYBODY. |
As the matter now stands, CELEBs has |
no fears Of eerious result Of expansion in |
either case but believes thet the out
,ome will be advantageous TO both.
Uncle Sam will have greater ability TO
meet the demands OF the position whi h
le now holds among the nations OF the
,arth, aad CELEBs will be better able to
meet his part of the responsibility
'esulting from the anticipated expan~
ion OF Albany college.
C.EIRBs.
The difference is that CELEBs, who ia
lot corpulent man, has gotten en- some
.ood solid flesh and good appetite,
Vhile Uncle Sam, who is already heavy
Teight, with lot Of surplus Hesh,-
ardless of the pictures of him,-has all
he flesh tina. ia good for his health.
Auy one knows tSat too much flesh is
Iisease. Tee addition to his corpulencY
{ lot OF deceased Filipinos who can
ever be assimilaled, an entirely differ 8
MT element from the present make up
I the tissues OF Uncle Sam, is bound to
lake him sick with something more !
han gout, and il persisted IN, the result !
lay be imperIalist!c paralysis. Verify 7
be soda wster OF the springs has con. t
used our very esteemed friend whose ii
cad is level on Greek andLatin and the o
se of words, but whose ideas have ex- o
anded into confusion on this subject, a
nd he has made sorry mess OF bis p
,mparison. The DEMOCRAT indorses v
ncle Sans expansion into his present
ze, as Go other anti-expansionists but
believes be is big enough, and lie op Il
,sed to his spreading out any further Il
= the addition of boils, esrbuncles, O
rms, tumors and wens. Il
Instead it is timely for him to train
own come and get into more solid run
ing condition. There are some bad
in his blood that need eradi. Q
ting and too many pimples on his Il
esh that need q blood purifier, and 8
lere is therefore big field for him and C
Ieat need of intelligent, more honest d
fort in building up his present system.
-EDIToR.l 9