Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1899-12-28

q
ave, bat who declared she was only
twenty-sevcn, and Uncle Ruben Pros
porous, a jolly, whole-souled business
man Of tho old school, and lots Of the
Younger sot, Basbful boys and gtggiinv
misses, and a whole troop Of my wife,
relations, and, Lord bless my soul, my
mother.in-law, looking as il she could
eat without any trouble, a peck Of red
hot and sizzling hornets ripe and ready
for business. They were allthero even
to a liberal delegation OF vinegar-faced
aunts, who had come from way up
country to do honor to the occasion.
Everybody laughed and talked-even
the vinegar-t,cpd aunts, but to them
it was painful performance. Evon
my mother-in-law observed to her next
neighbor that while she believed it was
a pleasant o,easiOn, still her poor dear
daughter must have made a perfect
slave of herself to make preparations to
entertain so many folks, and that some
men were perfect brutes towards their
wives, and rejoicod exceedingly that
she did not say "all men,"
Wo supped in state. The table was
loaded with good things. There we're
cold joints OF meat and cold turkey, and
wonderfully contrived PIES, cakes and
side dishes, and an abundance OF fruits
and confectionery. Uncle Reuben man
aged to upset bowl Of custard on the
table cloth, but he laughed as heartily
at his mishap as did the others, and no
ones feelings wero hurt-eXcept, per-
haps, those of my wife. One Of the
maiden aunts created sensation when
she mistook the thumb of q colored
waiter for chocolate caramel, and my
mother-in-law prosaged all sorts of cal
antilles when she upset salt cellar.
After supper was over, with feelings
of mingled pride and pleasure, led the
way to an adjoining room where stood
the Christmas tree, magnificent in
its beauty. The Goughs were bent
beneath the weight of the gifts, oran-
ges Swung to and fro and candles flick
cred among the branches, and tin
sci and other gorgeous decorations re-
flected their light. 1t was like a
glimpse of fairy land.
hastened to distribute the presents,
first cautioning my guests not to open
their packages until the disrobing Of
Jho Tree had been finished and a signal
had been given. Everyone received
something and no one was forgotten.
Even was remembered, as l found on
tho topmost branch small package ad-
dressed to myself in handwriting that
was not at all familiar, but thinking it
was only some scheme of my wife's,
thrust it into my coat pocket, and my
attention was distracted from it in the
events which followed. | now turned
to see what my guests we're doing, as in
obedience to my signal they were now
engaged in unwrapping their presents.
This was quickly accomplished and
the swapping Of strings and rattling Of
paper gave way to a solemn hush as
each guest gazed at his present. ! stood
there stupified. What had happened,
Some person with evil intent had inter
changed the addresses, and none of the
guests had received the gifts intended
for them. One of the maiden aunts re-
ceived shaving set; another beauti
full neck tie. Uncle Toby was puzzled
to known why he had received an elab
orataly ornamented curling iron, anC
Uncle Reuben, a tortoise shell bacl
comb. A fve-yoar old nephew received
a fine copy of Burton's Anatomy o
Melancholy" and Uncle Toby Dryas
dust, for whom it was intended, gaud,
copy Of Mother Goose, Jack and tn,
Bean Stalk, the Old Woman Who LIVED
in Shoe, and Other Nursery Rhymes.
Aunt Eliza SpinsIer was surprised to ge
| Il uElR u ' E5u oud"A1 anu a. ouo udul
worn anything but black for the las
forty years, and had MT failed to inforr
everyone she met as to that fact, c
course she got thoroughly out of ten
per. "As black as Aunt Eliza Spinster
shawl" had been village compariso
80 long time, that shu regarded it q
Il matter Of compliment, and now sh
was insulted with a bright red thin
, that might we'll be worn by any senst
less chit Of girl. Miss Cordelia Me
, ton, agod forty-five, was not pleased I
receive a box of genuine Havana cigar
nor Uncle Jonathan Plunkett, for who
, they were intended, pair Of ladie
=. opera tipped, springfield, button shoe
p lie was an old bachelor, and shovel
. about the same All the younger 5
r received presents about as ludicro
8 and useless.
a stood there thunder struck. I d
b.. not kRow what 70 do 1 tried to eXpla
but no one would listen The vineg;
- faced aunts putting their handkerchie
q to their eyes started TO leave; the maj
&c en- ladies' glarcd at me vindictiyely
i. they joined the procession. The jol
, uncle did not look at me as he pitch
/ the tortoise she'll comb into the a
q. and old T Timothy Dry-as-dust scatter
~ the fragments Of bis copy Of Motl
% N - tt,s H.,Cr "a bp 400 afart