Evening star., 1899-03-11
AEDIrATIoNs OF MARTIN DooLEY
On Admiral Dewey's Attitude Toward
Presidential Nomination.

From the Chicago Journal
Il wondher will Dewey r-run FIR Prisi-
dint?" said Mr.. Hennessy. He'd be tn
gr-reat candydate. l dinnaw whether he's
a dimmycrat or protestant but I'd vote
fr him
No" said Mr.. Dooley. me cousin
George is rot a candydate. He don't need
tn job an why shud he take it? Can ye
imagine, Hinnissy, Cousin George settin
in tn lap iv Hinky Dink FIR to get NOM
mynation? Can ye think iv him r-runnin
around tn country smellin' iv gasoline
smoke an maxim speeches in Bricklayers
Hall? Cud We get Cousin George fr to
come out on tn stoop iv his battle ship to
address a obligation iv tn Suspinder
Salesman, Expansion, Home Market an
Dewey Club? How'd he look in a photo
graft with a copy iv tn Vermont PALLADIUM
in his hand an pitcher iv his Aunt Name
on tn wall behind him? How'd he an me
frind Macchew Quay get along together
thryin' to uphold tn nonor iv tn naytionai
bankin system? How d he keep himself
Fright with tn cor-rner- stone Nv tn ray,
public, tn thrade in beef in tn can? An
how d he hold tn German vote an lave IL
live?
NO Cousin George is not candydate.
Divvle a bit iv it. A rayporther finds hlm
up on TIL roof iv battle ship illivatin tn
degraded Phlippeens higher thin Gilderoy s
kite, an says he: Admiral he says, will
" r-run f'r Prisidint?' he says. 'F'r WHAT
says Cousin George. 'F'r Prisid1nt " IN
United States,' says tn rayporther. see
mesilf. says Cousin George, pointin long
gun at a church. I see mesilf goin' home
TO that happy but excited country an gal
lcpin' ar-rOund firm wan precint to another
nailin' dillygates,' he says. L see mesilf,
he says, as he shoots thirteen-inch she'll
al our former allies, 'telHn' tn Naytional
Association iv Mannyfactherers iv Imbam-
med Beef that they're presarvin' IN thra-
ditions iv Washington an Lincoln he says.
'Whin they can't presarve COW meat so that
It'll last through hard winter, he says.
Catch me singin' ''They'se No Place Like
Home in Boston, an he says, '''Theyse No
Place Like Home to Get Away Firm in
Washington he says. 'Th' tariff: says he.
Tn on'y jooties l know about is those, he
says, 1 owe to mesilf, to paste yOn small
but fiery ruffyans,' he says. Tn money
question with me is will 1 get tn salary
that goes with tn new job or won't Il? he
says I'm here he says, an tn beau
chous blue sky iv our happy colony is over
me- he says, an ia rather have me fellow
citizens that is to be if they live as marks
fr me-, he says. thin to be mark fr thin
an tn likes iv Thin at home, he says
Say to tn good people iv tn United
States he says, that I'm doin' we'll where
L am. he says. 'There bein nawthin' left
on tn sea- he says, I'm pursooin' land
operations on me own hook he says. I've
just repelled a cav-lry charge he says,
an tomorrow I'll have me ships thrained
to climb threes an dhrive out sharpshoot-
ers.' he says. I'm tn boy orator iv tn
Pas1g. he says, AN I'm maxim a speech
iVry hve minyits an ivry speech a great
hit with tn colored vote he says I reco-
nlze tn honor ye a riprsinta tive ray-
porthar have offered to me- he says but >
he says, Il prefer he says, that some
wan else shud have it, he says. Besides
he says. 'mebbe il l wanted 1t 1 cudden't
get it, he says.
so there ye ar-re Hinnissy Cousin
George will not come on here to address
you an other INTELLIGENT citizens like We
fr m tn back iv dhray. He'll lave tn
destiny iv tn raypublic to other hands that
can conthrOl ii tn way tn man controlled
tn balloon whin he got caught be tn an
chor- He'll lave tn destiny iv tn nation
to others. an see that tn shootin' iv tn
nation goes sthraight. Firm tn look iv
things tn statesman can take a day off FIR
awhile an lave tn wurruk to tn marks
man. Cousin George will stay in tn Philip
poems an blow up tn enchantin' scenery
an protect tn naughty subjects iv tn I'm
pror WiHum an Carl SchurZ in tn nanny-
1dcther w liver wurSt, and see that tn
Prisidints peace commissioners is not ct
be our enlightened brethren in Manila an
Mack an nell stay at home practisin' tn
arts fv peace an expandin with Cousin
George as he goes along. so that tn bor-
d1ers " our beloved counthry frm day to
day ii be where his coat tails flies in tn
breeze. TIL United States is bounded on tn
east be tn Atlantic ocean an on tn west
be Cousin George"
After a long pause Mr.. Hennessy took his
cigar from his mouth and remarked:
He wuddent git tn German vote
No. said Mr. DOoley, but If he r-run
perhaps he WuddeD'r lave thin vota