Evening journal., 1899-07-31
LETTERS FROM THE PEOPLE.
INGERsoLL CRossEs TnE BAR.

Sir: When John Thurtell stood. with
The rope around his neck, on the gall
lows OF one Of Her Maiestys jails he
exclaimed: Now for the grand Sc
cret," The mans inquiring disposi-
ton, so far as the desire &c lift the
veil was concerned. had robI ed Death
Of its terrors. The craving to know
what the Something after death" was
had left the mind of Thurtell in a
seemingly calm and placid condition.
and it was remarked at the time that
the man appeared wrapt in specula-
ton. and totally insensible to the
near approach Of the more or less
physical pain incide ntal to hanging
And so-although the manner of the
taking of of the man Thurtell and Mr.
Robert G. Ingersoll was, of course. ut
terly dissimilar-Mr IngersolI has at
last solved the grand secret-" This
once notorious Agnostic's contempt
for things held sacred by the great ma
jority Of his countrymen is now hush
EQ III UtAlns AN AhuA > ANhQNAN9 "
burlesque either this or that passage
OF Holy Writ. and, by sO doing, cause
a smile to ripple the cheek of the un-
thinking ignoramus, has at length re-
ceived its permanent quietus at the
hands OF the King of Terrors. And
Mr.. Ingersolrs oft-repeated claptrapian
and rhodomontade-like assertion
namely. that If he, Ingersoll could not
have made a better world than this
then he, lngersoll, would not have
made one at all-will never again pro-
woke a senile laugh nor viii 1t ever
again cause the judicious TO grieye
What, we would inquire, did Mr. Rob
EFT G.. Ingersoll. during his earthly Ca
reer, ever make? Did he make the uni-
verse to halt by even so much as the
fractional part of a second? No. Did
he generate a single blade of grass, or
lause a leaf TO blossom. fade. and fall
before its time? No. Did he subtract
from. or add to, the preordained ten
ure Of a single human existence, his
own included? Well we guess not.
The only thing that Mr.. Irgersoll ever
attempteHS=not accomplished-was the
endeavor, accompanied >by much aatu-
lent noise, to successfully antagonize
the religious doctrine. the doctrine
which tells us that the soul is sep
arabic and that our personality is
merely the bodily organism with spir-
itual essence superadded. Suffice II to
say, that Mr.. lngersoll, like every
other poor. simple specimen Of human
ity who has gone before, quilted this
life without having been able to create
the least scintilla Of anything at all
Mr.. Ingersolrs theology-or, rather
the want OF twas the mere reflection
of that advanced by greater minds
than his own. This apostle OF Don't
Know-ism was saturated with tn,
teachings OF Huxley. Spencer, ant
TyndalL In short, Mr.. Ingersoll wa.
the echo, the clown-like echo. of GER
tain scientific coterie. But Mr. Inger
soil was never able to hold the atten
ton Of his audience by the depth of hi
contention. Whenever he noticed
weariness attacking the listener-an,
he often perceived the same-he woull
change his tactics by forcing a laugl
at the expense Of that which is ra
tional and allied TO commonsense. Blu
the laugh was sometimes turne
against himself, as the following eli
cumstance will evidence: DO you real
ly believe once inquired Mr.. 1ngeI
soil Of an old woman, that you wer
made out Of the dust OF the earth
Yes" replied the woman. Il beliey
it because the Bible tells me So
We'll" queried Mr. Ingersoll, "whe
il rains. and the earth is turned I
mud, what does your God make then,
Well answered the old woman, "H
makes infdels and all such truck
that" We are told that out Of Il
mouths Of babes wisdom has be,
perfected. The truth Of this prece
was fairly illustrated when the o
woman in question caught the blata
lngersoll right on the hip, and turn
the lance Of idle scoffery against hii
self
All the world knows how the Ia
Tennyson once exclaimed:
There's more faith in honest doub
Than in half the creeds.
But, then, little sympathy need be {
pended upon this Tennysonian dictul
for in the great majority of cases ~hc
est doubt" is either the result of in,
dinate egotism. or the outcome Of a
fusal to accept, or believe in, an
thing spiritual which cannot be dem,
trated by natural. human and faIli
avs. The average shallow-pated Sc
ic, the Ingersollite. is ever unmind
Of the fact that if the Finite co
grasp the Infinite. the Finite would
Ongcr be Finite. but Infinite. In OF