The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1899-12-23
Mr.. Doorley on the Presidents
Message.

! EOm tue EuuUay Il,
Did ye read the tn Presidents mes
sagoP" asked Mr.. Dooley.
Il did not" replied Mr. Hennrsy.
well, we're fright" said ths philos-
opher. L didn't mesef. lis many
years since l give up me devotion to
that form of fiction. l. don't think
amy wan r-reads a message but Nh
clerk iv til House of Representatives,.
an he has to hold his job. But cud
| tell ye how tits written Tn Presi-
dent summons III Cabinet together
an they set ar.round long table
smokin' seegars EXCEPT tn Sicrety IL Ia
Navy. an he smokes cignreet. An
til President he says: .La-ads.' he
says, 'iis up TO me FIR to sind n few
| wurruds.' he says. 'iy good Cheer he
says, to THIN rilitives iv tn civil SER
vice on TIL other side iv town, he says.
I'd great deal rather set up in tn
galrry an hear me frind Gr0svenor
tell thim.' he says. I'm no polyaamist
like that there David Harem TELLER
that's thryin TO break in,o Congress-
he says. But ivry other Prisidint has
done it, he says. 'an' | suppose I've
got to-, he says. What shall | say?'
he says, an he sets there wririn' 'Ye'ers
thruly, Willium McKiniey.' an maxim
pictures iv a house in Canton, Ohio,
while tn Cabinet thinks.
"Fin'lly tn Sicrety iv State. he says:
We might start it oil, if ye want to
make it a poplar docymint on wan
that'il be raymembered, he says, swim
We ARE forgotten be says, be min
tiouing what has been done be tn
State Department. he says. 'They'se
a dhray at tn dure with tn facts he
says, If ye've f'rgotten thim.' he says.
Thin says TIP Sicrety if III Threas-
ury. we might glide aisily into few
remarks about tn excellent condition
iv th' public finances he says. Some
thing like this: Thanks to tn tire
Tess activity iv TIL Sicrety iv TIL Threas-
ury tn efforts of those inimIes iv pop
lar government. tn Wall sthrest bears,
has been enable to mark down quota
tions an thus room th' sprosperity iv
III nation. All his OF friends will DO
glad to know that this poplar an
affable gintleman has his eye on tn
ticker again. Lyman is tn boy f'r th'
money" or Il diuuaw what | cud do
without Lyman" Something like
that'd hit thin har-rd.' In passing
says tn Sicrety iy War, we might say !
that ye were late IN gettin' hold iv TIL
right mar ~he place, firm tn Fright |
Stats.s = how yc've got him ye don't |
s~aSs wye got along without him.
Ys m5y add that I'm the first Sicrely |
iv War thrt liver showed that tn Con-
sti,ootion iv tn United States is appli-
cable ou'y in snch eases as it Is applied
to on account iv Its applicability, be
says. FIR further particulars see small /
bills an me own report he says. i
don't know says tn Sicrety iv tho
Navy. whether tits gin'rally undher-
stood. but, he says. we might point
out that tn navy niver was so efficient
as at prisint. he says. .Th' name iv
lawn u. Long will not soon DO f'rgot-
ten be himself in common with fellow
he says. AN allusiou
10 tn thrusts would be much appre-
'yated tn Moo Jarsey,' says th' Attor-
ley-Gin'ra Those monsthers make
heir homes there he says. am be
ays, i will say FIR thin, they're good
leighbors,' he says.
IAN while we're at it,. says a mod
st voice firm tn corner iv th' room,
don't f'rget to dhrop in bean FIR th'
;icrety iy Agricultnre-Tama Jim. M
armers' frind. Gr-reat captains he
ays, with their guns an dhrums.' he
ays, soon pass nwuY. bnt wbin
hey'rs gone wan figure will stand out
ike th' cu2oia on a fred barn. he
avs. 10 whom dye refera' angrily
demands til Sicrcty iv War. 10 me-
elf, says tn Sicrety iv Agriculture.
Gentlemen says tn President,
ARE We all through% he says We
r-rs.' says they. AN where do l
ome.in?' he says. w by says th' Sicrety
Y State, We sign tn docJ mint,' says
e. Well says Mack, I've hesrd
'e'er suggestions, he says, an ye may
70 back TO warruk,' he says, I'll
write this message, an if ye see amy
Y yer names in it, be says. 'ye may
he says. that me hand has
n.t r. -.r., n rr.a-, :