The Washington weekly post. (Washington, D.C.) 1878-1916, 1899-08-15


ject to am a man gittin' so smart dat he
has TO brag around about it.
Nine times out of ten de man who buys
gold brick am de man who has allus
wanted folks to understand dat he was
nobody's fule.
When you hain't got noffin' but Goldfish
an cold water in de house, it am good
| time to make yoself believe dat riches
| don't make happiness.
Pears to me dat de man who mortgage
his house in order to buy pianer fur ais
wife orter TO get heap O. music outer de
| transaction, but I've heard dat it wasn't
allus so.
/ like a model man, but it has so hap
pened dat cherry time I've lent money to a
man who doesn't smoke, chew. drink.
sw'ar, or bet on hoss-races, l nebber git
It back.
When l go to a pussun fur advice and
he agrees wild me, / set him down as a
good Teller an a wise man. If he don't
agree wild me / know he hain't got brains
| huff to understand de case.
In my time Tze met up wild heaps O.
men who war believers in luck. AS nigh
as | kin remember what happened, most
of 'em either got into Jail or de porehouse
A TO weeks job at a dollar a day will
beat vars luck.
Oar may be sunthin' in dreams, an dar'
may be sunthin' in signs an tokens, but
de Guild man who stops whitewashin' TO
8, I.
half dollar in tryin' to pick up 10 cents.
/ want to believe in de honesty of nv
fellOwmen, an l want 'em to believe in
mine, but when IL comes to tradin' nevis
! dc ideah am to hide as many spavins a
yo' kin, and bring out all de good pints
possible.
| used to think dat argument was
mighty powerful weapon in de hands of
de average man, but I've lived to Farm dat
de man who can holler de loudest giner-
ally gifts all de advantage in discussin'
question. If yo' kin hoIler loud 'nuft yo'
kin make lots of men believe dat it was
Abel who killed Cain.
Oar am muffin mo- blessed dan charity.
an muffin mo- onesided, either. De odder
all summer an make charity support him
all winter. an he isn't fur OUT. It's only
when he runs up agin' a buck-saw an
half a cord o wood dat de coldness an
cruelty of de world strikes him hard
Pears to me dat de hoss-fiy might git
hold of porter-house steak if he'd wait
lcrg huff, but he don't wait. He sails
right in an makes squar' meal off de
tuff mewl or old boss an don't worry
bout tomorrow. In huntin' fur wise ex-
amples don't overlook de hoss-fiy.
Tze got heap O. confidence In human
natur', but when a man comes to me to
pay debt ten years old, TZe gwine TO
make out dat l nebber knoWed him, He'd
pay me back two an wanter borrow Sc.
Life am made up in SIGH way dat de
very wisest of US can't help maxim fules
Of ourselves once or twice i var When
yo' find a pusson who claims he has neb-
Der made no mistakes, don't credit him
wild superiority. He's bin a mistake all
his life an didn't know it,
It's all our own fault dat we hev lost
faith in POLITICIANS. We started out 10
believe 'em imbued wild honesty of pur-
pose, while dey started out to make eb-
cry 5000 Office pay $4,000 a var. De
sooner We git frew lookin' fur honest men
in Office de less we shall h'ar bout cor
ruption.
We an nebber 10 blame fur our own
mistakes, but de man who tries to git
consolation out of de fact might as well
chaw toothpicks. De hardest work in de