The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1899-11-28
HIS question so often asked, is
l. too large to be answered by a

too large to be answered by a
simple yes or no. circumstances
modify individual cases. OF course
when veritable December, boar and
withered, courts blooming May, and
May consents for reasons ~shamelessly
mercenary, to wed December, the irony
of the situation is evident. Eighty
and eighteen cannot wed without sub,
sequent Indebtedness. They have no
foot of common ground to stand on.
fortunately such cases are rare.
Men, as q rule, retain youth longer
than women do. A woman at forty is
older than her brother Of the same
age, mature in her way Of looking at
life, physically older unless she has a
special endowment of health and cour
age. There are always exceptional
men and women who defy the ordi.
nary rule and remain young when they
are approaching the meridian. 1t is
much as one feels-this subtle question
of growing old.
A husband and wife may be of the
same age, yet have few tastes which
are congeniaI. One may love society,
the other be obssinately domestic. Ole
may be q spendthrift, the other a churl.
Two or three years On either side are
of no moment. When VI speak OF
disparity we mean anywhere from
seven to twenty years to the good, or
bad, in the age of husband or wife.
Here again, q man may safely be much
older than his wife without exciting
comment. The man of forty is not,
unless life has gone terribly hard with
him, an unfit comrRde for a girl of
twenty. In the case Of aman's second
marriage, he almost always chooses a
youthful wife, and the two jog on very
contentedly together.
All along the line a man is relatively
younger tn n a woman until both
reach middle ages. There is, perhaps,
a ten years handicap on women phys.
icAlly, il not mentally, until she ar
riyes at the table land which is marked
by her Rftieth milestone.
In thinking Of marriage, people
should bear in mind that it is not an
accommodation train with frequent
way stations where they may step off
and change partners. 1t is a sacra-
mental in character and q j)ining Of
hands and fortunes for the whole jour.
ney Of life. IT'LL death us do part" is
tho onlonn~ VTnIonkA~a ~ o-a. -aI
ding march.
Women grow old faster than men
and are very sensitive on the subject.
Therefore, on general principles, the
wife should be the younger, especially
when it is remembered that the race is
recruiting and the family maintained
by marriage. If a man deliberately
marries an elderly woman he reIin
quishes the hope, dear to most men, of
a son to carry forward his name, of
childish voices around his Preside. A
childless marriage may be ideally con
genial, yet it has forfeited it's chief
crown and dearest delight.
Marriage, broadly dt iaed, is LIES
closest friendship in purest and most
intimate daily association. It is two
made one, fronting the world together.
its happiness depends on responsive
Qualities, quick sympathies and recip
rocal unsel6shness. These conditions
are often fulfilled to the uttermost in
marriage wherein the wife is consp;c-
iously and frankly older than her hus.
band. She has tact and patience and
infinite tenderness in dealing with her
good man. She is apt to look we'll to
his material comforts. He has good
dinners and his socks are darned
Men need anu like petting and cosset,
ing. They require to be duly fed and
atarched and kept resp; ctable in ap-
p~earance. They grid at trayed cuffs
and cold coffee. The younger woman
Is self absorbed, as the older is not. or
enc does not 80 lavishly bestow The