Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-01-08
HER BROTHER.lN-LHW.


The longer | live the more unneces-
sary seems TO me the companionship of
man, the first vice president was say
ing, emphatIcally Except Tor a few
primitive uses, the world might very
comfortably progress without him. Ger
talnly, he is no aid to society, no par
tlcular good in the daily offices of life,
no strong factor in its daily pleasures,
no
Il beg your pardon" interrupted the
CHARTER member, do you ever go into
a candy store?"
The question is irrelevant, but | do,
madam, occasionally l do"
DO you go generally with a gentle
man, or alone?"
Madam, as | before stated, | go
sometimes into a candy store, but not
often, and always unaccompanied In
fact, | find such difficulty in getting
waited upon that
L knew it!' gas. ed the charter mem
Der, eXultantly Il knew it, To attend
defenseless ladies in candy shops is one
OF the first uses of man. I've gone
alone. I've wandered to the bonbon
case and besought a well-dressed dam
sci behind 1t to put me up pound of
marrows glace. She never heard me-"
Then, patiently, | have moved on
to the chocolate division, and ordered
some OF the duSky mixed but the
maiden fair was invariably waiting,
with lavish smiles, upon some bewil-
dered man. and was asking him how
he would like the box tied-with hello
trope ribbons, or with pink, So | have
progressed, from marrows to pepper
mint drops, and then back to molasses
candy and burnt almonds.
Perhaps at the end of the line |
found new girl, all unaccustomed as
yet to the business, and she would
deign to fill me box with exactly the
sort of sweets that | didn't want"
Il confess that is a good deal like
my own experience, but what of it,"
asked the vice president, impatiently.
Simply that | found a remedy Now,
when l want to get box of candy in
a hurry | just coerce one of my male
friends or relatives into accompanying
me. Immediately one of the pretty girl
clerks comes smiling up, and we are
served instanter. Anyhow, I've dis
covered another vital and important
use for man. We need him every time
we go into a candy store!"
"Of course she does" whispered the
vice president savagely "for then he
takes the check and she takes the can
dy. No wonder she has good times
and money in the bank"
Really" said the oldest member,
beaming over her glasses, Il wonder if
that doesn't explain an odd little eX-
perience of mine?"
Tell it; tell it,
well, a few months ago, having
come from an eXhausting club session,
| met my brotherin-law and we went
into one of those nice candy shops
and soda water places all in one.
thought | would take a cup Of choco-
late or beef tea to refresh me, but my
brother-in-law saw a sign announcing
milk punch, and suggested that we try
some. 1t was good. 1t tasted of milk
and it tasted of something else.
liked it.
"A few days later, Clarissa and
went in together and ordered milk
punch. 1t came-and it tasted just like
milk l was disappointed, but | know
how things will occasionally go wrong,
so | said never word. In the mean
time | had told several other women
about the delicious milk punches at
KS. They went after them, but told
me that they really couldn't see what
| had raved over The beverage seem
ed to them a good deal like milk
dished with little nutmeg and sugar.
Again and again have | sought the
same counter for the same beverage
but never again have l found it as l
Nit bnr q w
The club sat silent for a minute or
two, and then began an ominous musi-
cal swelling through the ranks, and in
creasing in volume until it passed
from Let's go now and try for our
selves to I'VE will go at once"
An they did go. They invaded that
soda water place. occupying every seat
around the counter and every spidery
metal chair about the hard little round
tables so shining and suggestive of ar
tificial teeth AS one woman they or
dered milk punch. 1t came and it was
milk There was flash of comprehen-
sion from member to member, and
then the plant began at the top and
was taken up by each along the line.
exactly as soldiers answer to the roll
call:
81 want spirits in mine"
81 want spirits in mine,"
II want spirits in mine" from the
stern orotund Of the president to the
frightened squeaking treble of the
newest member.
The individual hairs stood on end
upon the heads of the white iacketed
and aproned young men behind the
counter, and the girl clerks covered
over against the mirrors so that their
reflection would be doubled and they
should feel the safety of numbers.
Are they escaped from the asylum p
Are they clean craZy?"
Have they been drinking" passed
from terrified mouth to mouth.
The proprietor of the store came
along. The oldest member was nudged
by the president, and she replied TO his
inquiry:
Sir I want a milk punch, and 1
want it just the same as that one I
got here with my brother-in-law. I