The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-24

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| don't know what can have made us
all take Frank Pilsbury for fool, but
am sure we did so judge him. Some
of them, If / were to name them here,
might arise In their indignation and
effrontery and deny that they We're
ever, mistaken about Pilsbury's mental
caliber, but it would be the height of
insincerity on their part. AS for me, l
freely confess that | thought him an
extremely simple youth until these
things happened which l am going to
tell. And yet / do not know why we
took him for a fool unless it was be-
cause of several outward indications
which we observed-to wit:
He parted his hair in the middle and
brushed it smooth on his forehead,
which was not high.
He wore kid gloves all through the
summer.
He would talk earnestly with girl
for an hour at time, giving her points
about how to trim a hat.
But that is the worst of these dudes.
You never know quite for certain
whether they are fools clear through
or only on the surface.
This mistake of ours was set right
Hbout the close Of the war with Spain
or little before its close And it hap
pened as follows:
Late in the spring of 1893 Jeanette
Brennan was showing signals of dis
tress, and she let it be understood
that the cause of her distress was
Frank Pilsbury. 1t appeared that he
was making love to her, chiefly by CIV
ing her a great deal Of his society
| with advice on millinery matters-and
also by presenting her with flowers,
not artificial millinery flowers, but
real ones All this bored Jeanette,
and as Jeanette was a good sort of
girl we boys said that it ought to be
put stop to. Besides, Jeanette was
by public opinion assigned to be the
| fate of one Robinson, who was not at
all fool, like Pilsbury, and was a
general favorite.
| About this time 1t was reported that
Letitia Hemund had at last yielded
to the persistency of Fred Stimms'
woolng and had allowed him to call ii
an engagement. Then a number of
the boys enlisted for the war, Fred
among them, Frank Pilsbury not. Ev-
erybody slapped Fred on the back and
called him good fellow. Everybody
felt sorry for Letitia Helmund be-
cause Fred had gone to Tampa and
was being eaten by mosquitoes, and
everybody felt sorry for Jeanette be-
cause Frank would not expose his per
feet complexion to the ravages of these
| spiteful insects.
Letitia Helmund was present one
| day when somebody said: Cant we
make Frank Pilsbury go off to the
war? Can't we bring public opinion to
bear on him?"
I.etitia sighed, thinking no doubt OF
poor Fred broiling and being eaten al
Tampa. Then she said in her gentle,
musical way, IF everybody wants
poor Frank Pilsbury out of the way
WY AOI SCI ullll " 30 "
'-Do you think he could be persuaded
to go that farY'
Il think he might" said Letitia
Why was it that nobody had thought
Of this before? Frank Pilsbury was, by
eminence, the squire of DANES among
us. Letitia's plan was simply to go off
herself to Tampa so as to be near poor
heroic Fred. and to make Frank 60
with her as escort. Jeanette thanked
her with tears of gratitude. Everybody
called the plan an inspiration OF genius
and also huge joke. The idea of max
BILE den of mosquitoes and hold sun
shade over Letitias head so that Fred
might make love to her in peace be-
| tween drills.
And Frank consented like a lamb
| And the two started together amid the
girls and of all the boys who had moi
gone to the front before them.
The next we heard of those three
was by letter. First from Letitia tc
Jeanette, like this:
"Frank Pilsbury has proved a devot
ed and useful escort. don't know
what l should have done without him
Fred laughs at him and wonders What
he does with himself down here, but
i tell Fred that if it had not been fol
my little dude as he calls him, l could
not be here And it is a great thing tt
| 10,
have much to THANK my little dude
for"
Then from Fred Stimms: