The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-01-19

with look of defeat and injury, OK.
claiming:
swell, of all the insulting-!!!"
l' OK %
A farmer went out with his little
boy into his cornfield to see if the corn
Was nearly ripe.
Father" said the boy, show Is it
that some stalks bend so low, while
others hold their heads upright? These
must be the fine ones, and the others
which bow so low to them must be very
inferior"
His father plucked couple of ears.
"Look here" said he, "at this ear
which bends itself so modestly. 1t is
full of the finest grains; but this which
sticks itself so proudly aloft, is almost
empty. 1t is the same with people.
Those who are most worthy and most
gifted make least pretence."
oxO
Mr.. Turveytop has, up to very
recently, considered himself quite clev
or, and nothing so pleases him as to
get the best Of some unsuspecting per-
son. For a long time his wife had been
in need of new muff; and after hint
ing to her lord that her happi, ess
would never be complete till she
owned one, he at last decided to graf
ify her desire. So he went into shop
and picked out couple, one of which
was cheap and the other very expen-
sive. Upon these he changed the price.
tickets, putting the cheap price-mark
on the expensive muff, and vice versa,
and then took them home.
For a long time his wife pOndered,
and at last said: "Now, dear, the ex
pensive muff is beauty, and it is very
good of you to allow me my choice.
Some women would take it without a
word, but really 1 don't think we can
afford the more costly one; and, besides,
l think the cheap one is more stylish,
too. Why, dear, what is the matter :?
Are you ill ?"
But "dear" had fed into the night,
where, unseen he could abuse himself
to his hearts content.
An old Detroiter, who was forty
miner, relates this among his California
experiences at that time: 81 helped to
establish what has since become quite
an important town. There was great
deal of lawlessness in the COM
munity, and we set up the proper
machinery of the law, extending
our plans to county organ
ization. Our sheriff was big and
courageous fellow by the name of
Smick, and one of the first men he
landed in our new Jail was notorious
desperate and cutthroat known as
Black Jake, because of his swarthy
complexion. Jake was not an appreci-
alive prisoner. He was kicking from
morning till night, claiming that his
cell was as dirty as pig pen; that the
food wasn't fit for wolf, and that the
UCo w 40 udlttCl tllol q lIOLCli p1 oil 1Cs
One afternoon he got Smick's ear and
abused him outrageously on all counts,
every charge being false one.
"'See here roared SmIck, when his
patience was exhausted, you internal
horse thief and murderer. if you don't
quit lying about this place and sland-
ering my management, I'll throw you
out, neck and crop. Mind that, now"
"'Huy" grinned the willy Jake. if 1
could only get my hands on you I'd
toss you through the window in
chunks"
THAT settled it. Smick threw the
cell door open and tackled his man.
They had rough and-tumble to the
door, where Jake let up and was kicked
off the premises. Smick never realized
how he had cheated the law and the
gallows till the court took him in hand
the next day."
1 am perfectly willing that somebody
else should try the above scheme right
here, just to see if it would work.
OK O
The cyclist was stranger in literary
Fleet street. That was evident from
the cautious manner in which he
picked his way through the half-empty
thoroughfare. 1t was evening The
penny liner approached him.
"Sir," said he, "your beacon has
ceased its functions"
"Sir" gasped the cyclist.
"Your illumination, say, is shrouded
in unmitigated oblivion"
"Really! but don't quite"
"The effulgence of your radiator has
evanesced."
"Mv dear fnllOwf L"