The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1899-12-11
ECHOES FROM
THE MEGAPHONE
From the Clogtown Megaphone.

From the Clogtown Megaphone.
Clogtown, December 9, 1S99.-Ion. VIM.
Mckinley, President, Washington, D. c.
Dear Old Mac beg pardon for having
delayed answering your very kind letter of
several days ago, but it is as much appre-
ciated as if had written before received
it. Please don't be mad at me for the delay,
but when tell you that our old cow came
home with a long, wabbly legged calf the
very day we got your letter you will under
stand the situation here. The household
has been disorganized ever SINCE I have
been trying to do the milking and have had
the hardest time on earth trying to con-
vince the COW that 1 was her calf long
enough to go through the milking ordeal
She didn't appear to give down. worth a
cent. I gave down more than she did, es-
pecially when she ran blasted old horn
up the back of my vest and walked around
the lot with me in that position.
You are indeed very kind to ask me to
take Christmas dinner with you, and shall
be very glad to do so if you will loan me
s25 for railroad fare. Tell your wife she
need not put herself to any extra trouble
cooking for us. 1 do not want her to go
and tire herself out over the stove preparing
for it. Otherwise, fear she would not en-
joy our visit, and would miss much of the
pleasure of hearing my sweet voice discuss
ing in a literary way about how to best
raisa of IF she I'll only cook
some greens and have some pot-liquor
shall be satisfied. We are coming more to
see you than to get something to eat. Just
have the usual family bill of fare and we
will be satisfied.
Well, Mac, since you ask my advice on
the war question, would say that you had
better get through with it as quickly as
possible. This way of having to lick a
stamp every time we write a check or
sign deed is getting monotonous. Licking
Filipinos and revenue stamps both simulta-
neously at once is too much. If you will
send me check for hundred or so 1 will
boom you for the second term, however, and
the Megaphone has a heap of influence in
these diggins, and if the Clogtown people
are for you, you are mighty sure of being
elected You think this over carefully and
in loud tone of voice.
We have read your letter to some of the
neighbors, all except that part in which you
say that you are going to stick right square
up to the trusts and monopolies. 1 felt it
might be we'll not to let them know that
until you let me know about the hundred
dollars just referred to-
never have forgotten about the time you
and had to sleep together at that hotel in
Chicago this fall. I yet have some blue
places on my skin where you kicked me in
your sleep. And the echoes of your
SHORES yet ring in my ears.
do not want you to think 1 felt
above you that night because I was not at
first in favor of sleeping with you. You see,
my paper is a democratic sheet and my peo-
pie are fools about my seeming to be thick
with republicans, and Squire Jones had
been watching how you and I had stuck to
each other all day. That's the reason of my
GOODNESS to you then, Mac, old boy.
hope you are getting along very we'll up
there, being president of the United States,
and that you are making a heap more on
the sly than your salary. I wish could be
president some myself. 1t is a good job,
and the pay is sure, too, I am told.
Well, write as soon as you get this and tell
me how you re getting along and prom
Use you to write promptly this time.
1 guess We will be pretty sure to come
to see you Christmas, and we may stay
week or two If I can arrange to get my
paper out while am away. Most anybody
here in town can get out better issue than
do. so they say. I will let them try it
once.
Regards to your wife and yourself as we'll.
simultaneously thine,
J. E. G.,
Editor the Megaphone