davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-10-01
HOW DREAMS ARE MADE.

Generally Repetition of Thoughts I'm
guided by Reason-Events That Occur In
Fraction of second.
Dreams are generally repetition of
thoughts unguided by reason. Those
caused by internal action or brought
about by action within the body are due
entirely to the action and state of the
stomach, which in turn is affected, by
the quantity and quality OF food con-
sumed.
The first ends or feelers Of the nerves
are located in the walls OF the stomach,
and as the food is digested they draw
up the nourishment and distribute 1t
throughout the nervous system to re-
place the waste that has taken place
during the day. If the stomach be sur
charged with an abundance OF heating
food, too much nourishment is forced
upon the brain, causing an abnormal
filing of the channels, thereby expand
ing them, bringing them in touch with
others and causing the matter from one
to overflow into or to mix with the fluid
of neighboring channels. Whenever the
fluid traverses a channel more or less
forcibly the thought which originated
that passage is reproduced more or less
wildly. Hence ensues the general mix
ing up of thoughts which originally had
no connection with each other.
An overloaded stomach also causes
a flow Of blood to the brain. sent there
by nature to assist in assimilating the
extra nourishment, and the overcharged
blood vessels. pressing upon the nerve
channels near the brain, cause even
more turbulent disturbances. This ac-
counts for the advice of so many med
ical men that no considerable quantity,
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-10-01

treeless desert, ten miles nearer Chi
cago. Then he stopped the train,
walked forward, having plenty of time,
and told the wanderer to jump down.
"Oh, go on with your train" pleaded
the tramp. 1--WE walked all the way
from Winnemac, and I'm just dead
with the heat Honest, couldn't walk
another mile"
Then lie down and ROLL" replied the
conductor, for he had long before
found that a tramp has reserves of
force that his first story does not re-
veal And the tramp climbed down.
He stood at the side of the track and
watched the train pull away, an image
of detection and hopelessness.
He plodded along the track for
mile or two and then saw an ice house.
1t struck the tramp as good thing
and he hurried to it. He broke in
without much trouble, though he was
really weak with the heat. And he
climbed up to the dry sawdust and
straw at the top, where the cooled air
from hundred thousands tons of ice
surrounded him, and there he laid
down and took most delicious nap.
When he woke up he heard someone at
the door, but he lay still. A man with
gun and parcel came in. rummaged
at the edge CT the ice, left his parcel
and went out to look for ducks. The
tramp clambered down presently and
found lot of good, cold boiled chicken.
some tongue sandwiches and pickles,
and little deeper in the chill of the
storage was a great big watermelon.
The tramp ate all he wanted: there
was plenty. Then ne went up and took
another nap. When he came down at
) o'clock in the afternoon the building
was on fire. Experts think the sun did
it. Anyway, there was fire enough, and
the tramp dug up an old tin bucket,
rushed water from the lake and fought
like a demon. But be extinguished
the flames. Then the man with the gun
came running. He was watchman'f for al
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-10-01

especially Of animal food. should be
taken Immediately before bed time
The crossing. recrossing and touching
Of these thought channels. brought
about in this away, produce the absurd
mixtures OF fancies that otter come ia
US when we sleep.
The stomach. too, is a mill which
keeps on forever grinding. the walls
acting as the grindstones. When, there
fore, there is nothing between them, or,
in other words. when the stomach is
empty. one. wall grinds upon the other,
causing an irritation Of the nerves
which produces that peculiar sensation
OF falling from some great height.
To understand how external action
will affect the dream of a sleeper it
must be borne in mind that those
dreams which seem to take hours, and
even days, in passing, really occupy
but minute fraction of second. If,
therefore, We are awakened by some
loud. strident noise, say by the crack
ing of whip, then between the time
that the sound. strikes the ear while we
are yet asleep, and the time that we
are fully awake to realize what has
caused the sound. few moments only
have elapsed, but those few moments
were sufficient to allow of a dream OF
apparently several hours duration.
AS an example: A milkman, driving
up beneath an open bedroom window,
cracks his whip smartly. Immediately
the thought produced by the sound
causes a dream. The sleeper imagines
himself soldier who has fallen into the
hands of the enemy. He is led out to
be shot. He stands blindfolded, with
hands tied, before the platoon of soi-
diers. He hears the click-click-eliclS
as the rifles are cooked. He hears the
word given and the noise of the yolley
rings out on his ears. Then he awakes
with start, to hear the rumble of the
milkman's wagon as he cracked his
whip and drove off over some rough
cobblestones.
A blow, cut or a sensation of pain
will operate in the same way, and
awaken certain channels OF thought
connected with pain just as the noise
awoke those connected with sound.
For instance, a sleeper dreams that
he is closed up in some close travelling
carriage and is being driven rapidly off
in an unknown direction by a man who
has designs upon his purse and life. He
: tries to shout, in vain he struggles to
get free, and in the tussle drives an
arm through the glass window OF the
carriage. The hand is cut and bleed
ing. 1t smarts fearfully, and he
awakes to find that in his sleep he had
carelessly thrown out an arm, and his
hand has smashed some fine medicine
glass on a stand by the bedside. The
whole dream passed between the time
that the hand first struck the glass,
creating the sensation OF pain, and the
moment that the sleeper awoke TO real
ize the fact.--Chicago Record.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-10-01
ROLLED INTO PARADISE.

Tramp Experienced Unexpected Good
Fortune.
Cal O'Brien, one Of the old conduc-
tors on the Monon, tells a good story
OF the tramp that he put off his train
the other morning about 10 o'clock
down in Indiana, and whom he met as
cash fare passenger day or two
later.
The morning was one of the hottest
that ever fell on the Hoosier State.
There was not breath of cool air, and
when the train stopped the conductors
and porters were nearly sunstruck
walking along the platform and put
ting their passengers aboard. At Mo-
non a tramp climbed on just as the
train pulled out and lodged himself
back of the tender, on the front plat
form of the baggage car. 0'Brien saw
the act, and waited till he reached the
middle of that shadeless waste, that
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-10-01
THREW AWAY $4,000.
Adventures of a Man Who Pasted HIS Mon
ax In His Shirt

Adventures of a Man who Pasted HIS Mon
ely In His Shirt.
One CT the happiest men that has been
in st. Louis for many day is Zenas
Martin. He left for Texas yesterday
morning with a nice roll that contained
over $4,000. The story Of that same
bunch Of money is most remarkable
one.
About three months ago Martin sold
out his business in a small Texas town
for $4,000 cash and came to this city.
He had three $1,000 bills, and nearly
81 900 more in greenbacks of other de-
nominations. After taking in the sights
for a few days he proceeded to load up
on st. Louis tanglefoot and do the city
in true Texas style. Cab rides, cold
bottles and all their accomplishments
were right in his line.
One. night he became solicitous fer
the money, and before starting on a
prolonged spree he pasted the three
$l,U9O dis on the INSIDE OF MS snlrt
front. When he reached his room at
dawn the next morning he disrobed
and tossed the shirt on the floor, taking
it. later on, with some collars and
cuffs to laundry. forgetful or the
$1,000 bills which decorated It's inter-
Tor surface
It was not until the next day that
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-10-01

my life I quietly said that 1 reckoned
l wouldn't play any more. Then en-
sued a rather exciting scene. All the
men in the room made combined as
sault upon me. was a lusty, active
youngster in those days, and succeed
ed in reaching the street with only a
few scratches as the result of the en-
counter. But l still had the one thous-
and dollars. You see, they were bunco
men. l did not know it then, but |
know it now. They had witnessed the
strawberry incident and thought 1 was
an immensely wealthy young country
man. l kept the money | had obtain
ed from them, and it was the founda-
ton of my fortune.
so, you see, my mother was wrong
about this stomach of mine. which l
have treated kindly ever since in CRATE
full remembrance of what it did for
me-"
Which goes to show that some men
have fortune thrust upon them.
MEGARGEE.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-10-01

the clouds passed out or Martins brain.
and then species Of insanity seized
the unfortunate man. He could re-
member everything but the name and
location OF the laundry where he left
that valuable shirt. In a frenzy OF
despair he drank more and harder, and
for two or three days he wandered
about until he landed at Union station
one night, got ticket for Baltimore,
where he had had relatives. and left
the town without notifying the police
or anybody else. He was taken SER
iousiy i'll in the Monumental City and
fingered for two months in an almost
hopeless condition.
Finally he recovered. when like
fish came the memory of the laundry
where he had left his linen in St.
Louis. 1t was on Easton avenue, near
Webster. As soon as he could get
there he came. On Saturday he quiet
~ walked into the Home Laundry and
made himself known
$50 you're Mr.. Martin. are you?"
said Theodore Kfages, one Of the pro-
prietors Of the laundry. well, I'm
glad to see you, for I have been waiting
a long time for the man who papers
the inside of shirt fronts with $1,000
bills"
Poor Martin nearly tainted when
Klages referred to those long-lost bank
notes. so you found them?" he
gasped.
Eyes; found three $1,000 bills past
ed on your shirt BOSOM by the merest
chance on earth. The bundle of linen
was thrown in pile with other things,
and as was passing through the wash
room l caught sight of your fortune
through the opening in the back of the
shirt. / steamed the bills loose and
put them away, expecting you to call
any moment. But as you did not put
in an appearance nor leave any ad-
dress l was greatly puzzled. Last
week my partner and had determined
to advertise for the man with the 3d.
600 shirt if something was not heard
from him by September l. Now you
are here, and l guess we can fix you up
all right"
Martin explained all that happened
to him, and was eager to. have the laun-
dry take at least $500 of his recovered
fortune, but the gentlemen of the laun-
dry would not receive the money.
"I'll never do such foolish thing
again." said the man from Texas. "Tn
just get a porous plaster and stick it
on my chest, with those bills under it,,
after putting some paraffine paper
about the precious mementos of that
long and disastrous jag. st. Louis
Globe Democrat.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-10-01

the ice houses along the Kankakee fats
and a hunter of ducks in odd moments.
He gave the tramp due and proper
credit with the company. and these
gentlemen contributed suit of clothes
for the wanderer and a ticket for
Louisville, where he said he could get
job. With the ticket was little roll
of money; for the ice he had saved
was worth thousands.
"He offered me cigar" said o'Brien.
in concluding the story. "and told me
to call and see him. And when he de-
scribed his day in the icehouse he made
me wish was tramp. Chicago
Post.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-10-01
DOOLEY ON THE SIEGE OF JULES GUERIN.
BY r. p. DUNNE.


like to be sure they'll be no disor-
dher he says. We'll" says tn
chief. twill not be aisy,'' he says.
'sYe see. tn president. | frget his
name, has been asked to go to tn
traces with some friends" he
says, an they will prob'bly thry
to kill him." he says. 1--WE cant
play amy fav'rites here" he says.
I'VE have to protect tn low as well
as TIL high" he says. IF amy
thing happens to this man tn case
is li'ble to be taken up be tn ex-
Presidents association an they're
NUMEROUS enough to make throuble
f'r u.s." he says. But" he says,
Ell do what | can FIR We, me OF
frind," he says. Give us tn best
ye have" says Jools, @an' if we've
nawthin' to do afther We close up
We might dhrop in" he says, IAN
have manifesto with US, he says.
Come just as We ARE" he says.
"Tis an informal riv'luaion," he
says.
An away he whit. At sharp five
o'clock tn revolution begun. TIL
sthreets was dinsely packed with
busy Journalists, polls, sojers an
fash 'nably dressed ladies who come
down firm tn Chang's All Easy in
motorcycles. There was great ex-
element as Jools come to tn windy
an pinned copy iv his vallyable
journal on tn sill-accompaniea be
a thrusty liftnant wayin' a state
ment iv the circulation iv tn Anti
Jew. Jools at this moment was a
tur-rble sight. He was dhressed
firm head to foot in Harveyized,
bomb-proof steel, with an asbestos
rose in his buttonhole. Round his
waist was strapped four hundred
rounds iv ca 'tridges an eight days
provisions. He carri'd a Mauser
rife on each shoulder, a machine
gun undher wan arm, dynamite
bomb undher another an he was
smokin' a cigareet. ladies an
gintlemen," he says, I'm proud an
pleased to see We prisnt in such
large numbers at tn first riv'lu-
ton iv tn prisint season. he says.
with tn kind permission iv tn
hated polls undher tn direction iv
me good frind an fellow journalist
Loot Franswoo Coppere an tn ar
rmy, FIR whose honor livery FIR
renchman'll lay down his life, tn
siege will now begin. We will not"
he says, lave this house till we
have driven ivry cur-rsed Cosmy-
pollitan or Jew" he says, firm
this noble land iv tn brave an
home iv tn fea,'' he says. "Veey
Fr-rance," he says. "Veev Jools
Guerin," he says. "Conspuez Roths-
cheeld," he says. cts ye're move,
Loot" he says, to tn polisman.
81 defer to tn ARMY whose hon
or. is beyond reproach," says tn
polisman, "or reconition," he says.
''Veev farmy," he says.
Thank ye," says Gin'ral Below,
salutin'. Il will do me jooty. Man
can do no more" he says. "Jools,"
he says, "surrinder," he says. Eye
cannot longer hoP out" he says.
''Ye have provisions only FIR eight
years.
1--WE will remain till tn last wan
iv us perishes iv Indigestion" says
Jools.
Thin l must take sthrong mea-
sures," says tn Gin'ral. ''At a
given signal we will storm tn
house, bate down tn dures, smash
in tn roofs, cut off tn gas, poison
tn water supply, back up tn sewer,
break tn windys an r-raise tn
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-10-01
WHAT Yo Gw1NE TELL DE LAwpr

When de trumpet am tootin' an de stahs
dey am a shootln an dc owls dey -
a hootin' in de trees.
When de earf II am qnakin' an De dead
dey am awakin an do people am a
shakin' In de knees.
When yo' hea' de roliin thundeh an dc
rocks am rent asundeh an de hosts
am IN DER wondeh standin awed,
An YOU fin yoseif a trembln while dc
nations am assemblln o slnnah, what
70 gwine to tell de Lawd2
When de planets git knoclSln' at each
udder an rockin' an de tenpests
seem a moekin at yo' woe,
When de da' kness am fallin an do buzz
za'ds am a sqUallin an de angel am
When de sun hab quit It's shinin' an do
brack wolves am whinin an 90
mou'nehs lay repinin' on de SOD,
An yo' asked to tell de story wnat yo.
doin up In glory, o sinnah, what go
gwine to tell de Lawd2
When yo' see de righteous swingin' Up de
road an all a singin' twell be earfii
be rlngln' VIII de psalm,
When dey fold DER wings an rally In do
golden riveh valley singtn' haileluyah.
hally TO de Lam
When de hills dey am cTashin an do
sulphur flames a-fashln' an 80 feel do
cuttn' lashin' ob de rod,
When de sheep am bein' chosen from de-
goats what yo' supposin, wicked sim
nah, you'se gwine TO tell de Lawd2
o! befo' de Walls broken an de wrathful
fiery token with its awful flames 10
chokin' up de sky,
'Fo' de dragons git a barkin' an de cart
begins 10 darksn, ask de Mastah TO
TO hearken to 20 cry.
Stop yo' sinnin an transgressin,' Iissen to
de wahnin lesson git 20 wicked
knees TO pressln on de sod
When youse at de bar an Satan am a
eyein yo' an waitin'. treInbiu' sin
nah, what 80 gwlne to tell de Iawd1
Denver Post.
Cholly searched his pockets vainly,
Sadly murmured, Il am broker
DIdn'a have the price TO get his
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-10-01

1889. by Robert Howard Russell
While til thrillin scenes I'm
tellin' We about is goin' on, Hin
nisey. worse is bein' enacted in
beautiful Paris. In that lovely city
with its miles an miles iv spark
lin resthrants.-la belly Paree, IS
Hogan'd say-th' largest American
city in tn wurruld. rivolution's
begun. If we don't believe it r
read tn papers. They've arrest
ed pote. That was all fright
FIR France is sufferin' firm too
much pothry that'll scan, as Hogan
says, an too much morality that
won't They ought to be rule
f'r tn polls to pinch amy pote
caught poting between tn hours iv
twelve an twelve. But tn mistake
tn Chief iv tn polls made was to
r-run in butcher at tn same
time. What tn Nbutcher'd done, l
dinnaw, but anyhow, they accused
him iv wantin' to pole axe tn gov
er'mint an they thrust him into a
cell. Now tn butcher he had a
friend be tn name iv Guerin-an
Irish name it is, but this la-ad don't
appear to be wan iv us-Joois
Guerin. He was wanst in tn
thripe business, but he is now
r-runnin' a newspaper like most iv
tn people iv Fr-rance. AS a thripe
butcher his circulation was larger
an among a betther class than his
newspaper. Bein' la-ad with a
fine sinse iv gratichood an havin'
been wanst fed an clothed be a
Jew man, he calls his pa-aper tn
Anti-Jew an its principle is whin
We see a Jew hand him a crack in
tn jaw. IT'S a good principle,
though / wanst knew a man be tn
name iv Solomon Felsenthal, that
was known in tn ring as Mike Gal
legher, tn Tipp'rary Cyclone, as
thribute to tn feelins iv tn path
rons iv sport; an if Jools had
thried to carry out his platform
with Solly they'd be no siege in
Fort Chabrool. Not amy. That
Jew man'd been Champeen iv tn
wurruld if all iv him cud've kept
out iv close quarthers with tn man
again him.
I don't quarrel with Jools feel
ms, mind We. IT'S tn history iv
tn wurruld that tn Jews takes
our watches firm us be tin per clint.
a month an we take thin back be
means iv a jimmy an a piece iv
lead pipe. They're on'y two known
methods iv finance-bankin' an
burglary. TIL Jews has tn first
down fine. but all tn rest iv tn
wurruld is at home in tn second.
So Jool's all fright as far as he
goes. But he don't go far.
Well, whin Jools hear-rd that
his frind tn butcher was sloughed
UP he wint fairly wild. He says to
himsilf, he says, I'll go home" he
says, IAN defy tn Cover mint" he
says. 'I'll start a riv'lution." he
says. But" he says, Il must first
notify tn polis,' he says, SOS to
prevint disordber," he says. So he
wint to tn chief iv police, who was
an old frind iv his-they was in tn
same newspaper office or thripe
dairy or somethin th' chief
kissed Jools. an asked him what
he cud do FIR him. 81 wish, said
Jools, "ye'd sind down tin or a
dozen good men in uniform an a
few detectives in citizens clothes"
he says. 1--WE asked some ladies an
gintlemin to a five o'clock riv'lu-
ton at my house." he says, IAN I'd
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-10-01

In view of the existing condition
panyng illustration of
the latest model army great
the Transvaa warcoud war oce
London rushed for
death dealing machines Military strategist
toward the known
large number the Philippines v the
forces
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-10-01

rint."
DO ye'er worst" says JOols.
proudly.
"Thin,' says tn Gin'ral impris-
sively. IF these measures do not
suffice, will suspind tn deliv'ry
Nv tn mails he says.
"Miscreant!" cries Jools tur-rnin'
white. AN this is called merci-
full COVER mint" he says. '.Mong
doo," he says, what GRIMES will
not Fr-rinchmen commit again
Fr-rinchmen," he says. But" he
says, we little know US if We think
we can be Quelled be whence" he
says. 81 have a last card" he says.
II refuse to give tn signal" he
says.
Thin says tn Gin'ral tur-rnin'
away with tears in his eyes, I'VE
must adopt other measures"
Very WELL" says Jools, "but
mark wan thing-that if We at.
tempt to make me ridiculous, We
shall suffer-
Il assure we Mong Editor" says
tn Gin'ral earnestly, that tn
Gover'mint will not make We amy
more ridiculous than it makes it
silf," says he.
me honor is satisfied" says
Jools. do ye'er worst" he says.
AT eight o'clock tn minister iv
war arrived an took command.
He ordered up twinty rigimints
iv cavlry, tin batthries iv artillery,
an two divisions w fut sojers. 1t
was his intintion to sind tn cavl-
nv in over tn roofs while tn army
carried tn front stoop, protected
by fire firm tn heavy artillery,
while tn Fr-rinch navy shelled tn
back dure. But this was seen to
be impossible because tn man that
owned tn wine shop next dure, he
said 'twud dhrive away custom. All
thu sthreets FIR miles ar-round was
blockaded without effect. TIL
fire department was called to put
Jools out, but wather niver touch
ed him. TIL sewer gang whit down
an blocked tn dhrains, an Jools
soon had inspiration FIR a years
writin'. At last accounts tn gar,
rison was still holdin out bravely
again a witherin' fire iv canned
food, Holsters, omelets an hams.
A brave gossoon in tn sivinth ar
till'ry did particularly effective wur-
ruk, hur-rlin' a plate Nv scramble
ed eggs accrost tn sthreet without
spillin' a dhrop an is now thrain-
in a pie like mother used to make
on tn first windy iv tn sicond
flure. 1t is reported that tn min
lister iv war at four o'clock tomor-
row mornin' will dhrop a bundle
of copies iy Jools' paper through
tn chimbley. Whin he opens tn
window a pome be Paul Deroulede
III be r-read to him. This is again
tn articles iv war but tn case is
desperate.
But l was thinkin' Hinhissy, as
/ walked down tn Roo Chabrool,
how I'd like to see Chicago polls
man come sthrollin' along with his
hat on tn back iv his head. don't
love Chicago polismen. They
seem to think ivry mans heads as
hard as their own. But I'd give
forty-three francs, or eight dollars
an sixty cints iv our money If tn
Fr-rinch gover'mint d sind FIR
Jawnny Shea an ask him to put
down this here revolution. TIL
mex day they'd move tn office iv
tn Anti-Seemite Society to tn
Morgue.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-10-01

Cholly searched his pockets vainly,
Sadly murmured, Il am broker
Didna have the price TO get his
Autumn top-coat out Of soak.