davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-02-03
What the Prisoner safd.

A celebrated Judge was once trying q
case where the accused could only I'M
derstand Irish, and an Interpreter was
accordingly sworn. The prisoner said
something to the interpreter, aud the
latter replied.
What does he say?' demanded the
judge.
"Nothing, my lord.
"How dare you say that when we all
heard him? Come, sir, what was it?''
my lord, said the interpreter, be-
ginning to tremble, sit had nothing to
do with the case"
IF you don't answer, I'll commit
you, sir. Now, what did he say?''
well, my lord, you'll excuse me,
but he said, Who's that Guild woman
with the red bed curtain round her sit
ting up there?'
At which everybody present roared.
"And what did you say?' said the
judge, looking a little uncomfortable.
II said: Whist, ye spalpeenl That's
the old boy that's going to hang you. ="
London Answers.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-02-03
A Man Of Many Parts.

Here is an amusing old handful
printed and circulated in Cumberland
early in the nineteenth century:
-, James Williams. parish clerk.
saxtone, town cryer and bellman, make
and sells alY sorts of haberdasharies,
groceries, etc, likewise hair and whig
drest, and cut, on the shortest notice.
Also
IN. b keeps an evening school,
where | teach at reasonable rates, read
ing, writing, singing and sums.
IN. b plays the Loobny OCCASION
ally. if wanted.
IN. B.-My shop is next doore, where
l bleed, draw teeth and shoe horses. ali
with greatest soil.
IN. B.-Children taut to dance. if
agreeable. at six pence per week, by
me. J Williams, who buy and sell old
iron and coals-shoes cleaned and
mended.
IN. B.-A hat and pair of stockings
to be cudgelled for, the best in 5, on
Shrof Tushday. For particulars INQUIRE
within, or at the horse shoe and bell.
the church, on tother side of the
way.
IN. Book over the door for the
of the 8 pigeons.
IN. B.-l sell good ayle, and some
times cyder-lodgings for single men"
London Sketch.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-02-03
Raising His Fare.

A certain board school teacher is re.
sponsible for the following little story,
which is not without it's pathetic side.
He was e%ndeavoring to explain the
term "%booking" as applied to our rail
way system.
Now" he was saying, "can any Of
you tell me the name Of the office at
which railway tickets are sold?"
"Tbe booking office" replied one of
the lads.
Fright responded the teacher.
At this moment his eye fell on a
small boy at the end of the class, who
was evidently paying very little atten-
tion to what was said.
"Did you hear that, Dowser?" he
demanded.
"Wot, sir9" asked that youth inno-
Gently.
"As thought, You were not listen
ing. We will suppose that your father
decided to have a days holiday and
visit the seaside. What would he have
to do before he could take his seat in
the train?" !.
Without q moments Thought the
youngster electrified his teacher by re.
"Pawn his tools. london
Standard.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-02-03
He Obeyed Orders.

Years ago, when ~Clemenceau was the
mayor OF Martre and at the same time
2 deputy. he opened a dispensary in the
quarter, where advice was given free,
Tor Clemenceau is a specialist in skin
diseases. One day he noticed that he
aad just n hour in which to get his
luncheon and go down to the cha amber,
where ne had to i~nterpellate the gov
eminent. He called his assistant and
said, How many more patients are
there waiting?"
Six replied the man.
one after the ether had his case dag
nosed, and Clemenceau, after another
glance at his watch, said, "Tell the
other two to urdress at once, as I have
only two more minutes to wait" One
entered, and Clemenceau wrote out a
prescription in TIE twinkling Of an eye.
The last man came in as naked as the
day when he was born. Clemenceau
eyed him for a minute and then said
"You are suffering from no skin dis
ease. What have you come here to
worry me for?'
Ihe man looked at him aghast for a
minute and replied: ''Skin disease? l
never said l had a skin disease. Your
man came in and told me to undress,
NJ. le Depute, and l did SO. All I want
cd to ask you was to use your influence
TO get my sister a place in the post
offices in Algeria"
Clemenceau smiled, took his name
and did use his influence. To-day.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-02-03
Indian Territory Triples.

Anything which. has q basis of alcohol
is IN demand in this Indian Territory.
INVESTIGATION is craved, and the stomach
of the Indian Territory drinker does not
quarrel with ths form in which it comes.
Wood alcohol, accounted poison in most
parts OF the country, is consumed in
considerable quantities. The peddlors
buy it in Oklahoma, dilute ii with wa
ter aud sell it by the pint OH this SIDE
of the line.
One way of bringing whisky into the
Indian Territory is to have a barrel
witt, a false botton. Freighting across
the Jorder is common. There are in
terror stores which draw their stocks Of
goods from cities and railroad points
outside A barrel with a false bottom
is a device by which a storekeeper may
ship in a considerable quantity of
whisky, while the contents, to all or
binary examination, seem to be coal oil
or some other legitimate article.
Ingenuity in evasion of the territorial
prohibition probably reached its high
ost form of development when one Of
the dealers got up a good imitation of
an egg. Each egg was filled with
whisky. The eggs were shipped here
openly in cases. They were sold for Is
cents each to those who knew the SCI
oret. The purchaser Clipped a hole in
the artificial shell and found in each
egg what was enough for a moderate1
drink. The eggshell was of plaster OF
paris in a fair imitation.-St. Louis
Globe Democrat.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-02-03
ON THE OPEN TRAIL.

This paltry earth and the low hung sky.
Like a little tent around it.
Too cramped | find to feel at home,
To- cramped ] always found it.
Since ! was ever a vagabond.
A vagrant-foot and rover.
Oh. give me the width of the skies to roam
When my earthly days are over!
Let mr. out where worlds the milestones
are.
Where the unresting stars walk my way
Gut, out. where a man has elbow room
To travel his old time highway.
ASd when the journey is lone God grant
That enc lone inn I find ne
Where | may enter and greet but her
And close the door behind me!
Arthur J. Stringer in Ainslee's Mags-
zine.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-02-03
A LAKE o LEG.
How 1t Solved the Mystery of The
Wreck of a Steam Propeller.

HOW 1t Solved the Mystery Of the
Wreck of u Steam Propeller.
I'VE are never amazed when vessels
go aground and kre wrecked on Lake
Erie during the gales that are common
on that ~treacherous water, for we ex-
pect such things them" said a lake
skipper, "but when one is grounded on
q clear day and wrecked on a course as
clear as the day in the hands of q pilot
that knows the ground like a book we
naturally wonder a little and want to
know the why's and wberefores. Such
was the case of the propeller Susan E.
Peck that went aground near Bar point
and was lost with a $40, 600 cargo.
1.-THE captain of the Susan E. had
sailed successfully hundreds Of times
between Point Pelee and Bar point and
in all kinds of weather, and this time
he had a wheelman who was known
from one end Of the lake to the other al
one OF the most expert navigators in
the lake business. He had been lying
up a long time, for the very good reason
that owing to an accident to one Of his
legs that leg had to be amputated to
save his life. The lost member was re-
placed by an artificial leg, and then the
pilot was ready to take his post at the
wheel again. His first service after his
misfortune was this trip Of the Susan
=. Peck, and he ran her aground.
"The puzzle to everybody was how
it was possible for the propeller, han
died by a man Of such skill and expert.
ence, on a straight course only 40 miles
long and with every sailing condition
favorable, to leave her course. The pilot
was the most puzzled and astounded
person of all. He soon got another yes
sci, and this one he ran in such an err
ratio manner, but fortunately with no
disastrous result, that he was compelled
to give her up, and his usefulness as a
pilot was gone. He and others went to
investigating to see if they could dis
cover what was wrong with his sea-
mansDip.
after awhile they discovered what
they believed was the trouble. In the
artificial leg a great deal of steel
had been used in the joints and other
Sitting close to the pinnacle, as
he did while steering, this steel derang-
the compass go that it threw the
way off his reckoning and
ed to the wrong plotting that had
wrecked the Susan e. Peck and endan-
gered the other vessel that the wheel
nan navigated subsequently,. This was
What they argued, and to demonstrate
he correctness of the theory the pilot
ook charge of a vessel without wear
ne bis false leg. Everything worked to
charm. The mystery Of the Susan E.
Peck was solved, and the pilot was re-
tored to his old place in the confidence
! Lake Erie shippers and vessel own
rs. New York Sun.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-02-03
south Americas suicide wind.

In Brazil and other parts Of South
America the natives know and fear a
certain condition Of the air which they
call suicide wind. 4.
1t is not a superstition, but an actual
condition of the atmosphere which
seems to drive the people to madness,
and during it's continuance self inhiot-
ed deaths are numerous.
Criminologists and scientists all over
the world are interested in this peculiar
atmospheric influence. which is indi-
Gated by a soft, moist. warm air that
settles heavily on the earth.
The climatic condition known as the
suicide wind" is greatly dreaded in
that part of the country.
Statistics prove that suicides and 9th
or crimes occur together or in waves as
they are described.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-02-03
A Correction,

I'VE stated. says the Plunkville
Bugle, "shat the gent now playing
Othello at the opera house let his hands
hang around like a couple of miniature
hams. He called on us yesterday in re-
gard thereto. With assistance OF the
pressman and the shoemaker who occu-
pies the room adjoining The Bugle
office we ejected him, but not until he
had landed on rs with y hand that
showed the use of the word miniature
to have been a serious mistake. '-In.
d~ianapolis journal.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-02-03
How a Frog Hibernates.

According to Simon Henry Sage. the
frog does not hibernate in leaves or the
trunks OF trees, but in a dry hole in the
ground not likely to freeze. He scratches
the hole with his hind feet and enters
backward. Once inside. there ia appar-
emily no trace Of the fact outside. Frogs
found under frozen leaves are still able
TO move about, Mr.. Sage has found
alternating frogs with their extremities
and akin frozen. but their vital organs
were still intact, and they recovered
their activity ON being liberated
don Globe.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-02-03
An Odd ~Collection.

One of the most remarkab BILE oolleo-
lions of souvenirs ever made lisa colleo
tion of male opera hats by one Of the
actresses OF a London company. She
owns no fewer than 216 of these arti.
cles, for it was her within to make every
young man who was introduced to bel
give her his opera hat as a souvenir.
She not only keeps them in their pris-
tine condition, but converts them into
all sorts of other things, such as photo.
graph frames, w~orkbaskets, and some
are even used for the purpose Of holding
dOWerpots.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-02-03
He Wsa slow.

They had been keeping company"
for eight years. and. when he finally
proposed and was accepted. In the ardor
Of his enthusiasm be exclaimed, "Dar.
linR. you are worth your weight In
gotd"
With almost cruel faostiousness she
replied. "That 10 saying Q good deal.
Tor u was an awful long wait. "-Rieh.
mond Dispatch.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-02-03
Golden silence,

A man who once met Ralph Waldo
Emerson at the house Of a friend telIs
of the characteristic way in which the
Concord philosopher blunted the edge
Of a compliment.
"Oh, Mr.. Emerson" said a young
woman Of the party. sit must be SO de-
lightful to know that people all over
the country are grateful for the things
you have said!"
"Thank you," said Emerson slowly.
"but it is for some Of the things I have
not said that ! feel most grateful"
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-02-03
A story OF George

In Lady Gregory's newly published
"reminiscences she says Of George wi
trip to Ireland In 1891: 1.-THE king ar.
rived after q good passage. during
which much goose pie and whisky had
been consumed. Word had inst come OF
the death Of Napoleon at 81. Helena.
The story goes that Sire, your enemy
IL dead. were the words be was greeted
with. When did she dis9' was bis no.
sponse. But the queen was indeed also
dAaA.u
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-02-03

enisslston,-l'm In trouble. Nv lanA.
lady told me I'D have to ssltls up o.
leave.
0ia9lston- Why, you're In iuek. did
eellow, I'm IN b wesss Haa thasa tkAl.
ny lssdlady told ma Ia have 10 ssells
" before I eoald leave.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-02-03
Tell Your Sister

a beautiful complexion is an impossibili-
y without good pure blood, the sort
That only exists IN connection with good
digestion, a healthy liver and bowels.
harIs Glover Root Tea acts directly on
the bowels, liver and. kidneys keeping
in perfect health. Price % cts.
and 5o cts. Sold by Chapple Drug Go.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-02-03

6ueeesssul sports know that In the
Highways and bywsys are countless
idiots who skimp their families. borrow.
beg and even ssssl In order 10 bet ON
horse races ~ Odds og I 10 against
them IN the long ron. on sloehs q 20 70
I, on slu9sing matahss sl svssythins
- no,hina. The saiahliss hssillus 10.
isses every legitimate spost AnA seoa
Vots 10. s-Osttesiou.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-02-03
DO YOU
KNOW
THAT
The Gazette
Job Department

Turns out a better class of
work than any otl er printing.
establishment in The Yellow.
stone valley.
we are prepared to do any
class OF printing on short
llollce..
We employ only frst-class
workmen, and consequently
can guarantee
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-02-03

A Heroic Feat mt Muscat by Some
of Uncle Sans Old Time Jack Tars
That Thrilled the Hearts of a Whole
Ships Grew.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-07-14
ABNER M'KINLEY
LOST MONEY
And Nos Sues . Wall Street.
Broker to Recover.

NEW YORK. July ia-Aener Me-
kinney. better known IN his capacity
NJ brother 81 the president. 10 again
10 the fore with financial troubles
troubles which recall army contract
days.
He has shr~stenef 20 bring q suit
against q Wall street broker In tn.
sum Of $1,000. which the presidents
brother says u cost him 10 try to
turn an homes, penny In Cleveland.
Lorain and Wheeling
Half the amount. according to his
chaifn. represents the check Mr.. Nc
kiniey rave To- the broker The 9th
er half represents the prom, he err
pccied to make.
The stock rose after the purchase
and was not sold. II fell and was
sold.
There was q ro-eetwsen In the
Wall street speculation.
The broker In this case was De
Huytcr NJ. HollinH Of No. n Wall
street. lie explained today that the
stock was bought foe Ahner McKin-
ley. with the SPECIFIC understanding
that ~ was 10 be soid on the 7-polnt
rise. When n has risen In value
less than two points the go-betwcen
appeared on the telephone and ord
cred the stock sold for Mr.. Mckinley.
The broker ascsrtained that the pre-
sident's brother was out Of town and
refused 10 accept the order 10 sell
as authentic. Then the stock went
down and Mr.. Mckinley lost money
on the deal.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-07-14
WHISKY TRUST
IS NOW FORMED

NE wyoRK. July 1.-THE organ
nation % the bix whisky trust. 90
be kncwn as the Distiliinr Company
Of America, has been assured by the
deposit % stock for the formation Of
the new company. The last one Of
the company's TO hold out against the
terms of the new combination has
given In. This company was the
American Spirits company.
The big distlileries In the combln-
alton are the Kentucky Distllleries
and Warehouse company, the stand
ard Disabling and Distributing COM
pany and the American Spirits Man
ufaeturing company.
The whitney widener- EikIns syn
dictate brought about the amalgama-
ton Of the interests. The new COM
pany viii have n capital % si25. 600. =
900. The extent Of the new concern
IL shown by the fact that OF It's con-
stituent companies the American
Spirits Manufacturing company con-
sists OF sb separate concerns, the
Standard Distillery and Distributing
company consists Of Is concerns and
represents combination OF indie
pendent distillers. and the Kentucky
Distilleriea and Warehouse company
consists OF So concerns.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-07-14
WILL FIGHT
STEEL TRUST

ST. LOUIS. Mo. July "a - The
money which has been paid out to
~. Louis men BY the Brown bros
syndicate for street railways II 20
be used In iEhtiag the iron and steel
trust Incorporation papers were
fisd today for a steel company With
a capitalization OF 500. 600. In which
the chief stakeholder 10 John Heuls
ila. the former % ner ~ the Union
depat street ear tines ~ this city.
The next largest holder 10 r y. oai-
laEhsr. for ysafs superintendent %
the shiekie. Harrison a Howard
plant. recently moved from 81 Louis
across the rver While the capital IL
sFnali the promoters ssy that " will
be increased as aaan as the plant ls
built. ard frat the company ~iii b.
entirely INDEPENDENT of the trust. IL
IL the intention Of the company %
erect quarters Tor ns workmsn and
ID similar things - snake the con-
csfn an independent one.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-07-14
THE JAPANESE
ARE CAUTIONED

YOKOHAMA. July it,--in view Of
the coming into operation 81 the
new treaties between Japan and GER
tain sorslsn powers. the emperor has
issued rcpcFipf entvining the people
to the Observance Of courtesy and
tact IN their intercourse with forelE
efn. The general effect % the new
treaties 10 10 abolish the extra-terri-
toriai rights Of foreigners and auh-
jecs them 20 the Jurisdiction % ordln-
AIRY Japanese courts. ny these treat
les the United States and other for
sign powers recognise that Japan II
a civilized state. capable Of doing
justice 20 alien residents without the
intsrference Of the consuir represent
ing the governments % such rest
dents Japan thus rises IN ln,srna-
unnsl affairs from the class Of Tur-
key and Persia 90 that % the west.
srn nations. Foreigners committing
o1enses In Japan vii no longer be
hsnded over 10 their consuis for trial
bu, win he taken before the local
courts. iust AZ they are In the Unit
81 States
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-07-14
WANT CENSUS
BUREAU JOBS

WASHINGTON, D. C.. July IL
About 10000 applications for position
In the census bureau have been re-
ceived by Director Merriam. or the
number thus far examined. accord
ing to civil service regulations. there
are about four hundred applicants on
the eligible list. The greater mum
Der Of those examined come from the
District OF Columbia. The remand
er come chiefly from Massachusetts.
New York and West Virginia. Di-
rector Merriam said today that the
work Of examining applicants In
Washington would be continued at
least until September 20, and may be
carried on as late as October 1. It
II impossible at this time. he said.
to determine definitely the time Of
the departure of the examining
board, AZ there iH still a large num-
Der OF applicants from states east
Of Ohio to take the tests.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-07-14
Another Advance In Stoves

CHICAGO. July ~. - general
meeting OF Westefn stove manufae
turers was held yesterday AT the Au-
ditorium for the purpose of consider
Ing the trade outlook for the pres
snt year. The meeting was held be-
hind closed doors. but President =.
Boal OF the National Association OF
stove Manufacturers. who presided.
said that the general advance In the
raw materials used IN the eonHtrue-
ton Of stoves was thoroughly dis
eussed and the Western manufactur-
ers agreed 20 an advance OF per
cent. 10 take effect Immediately. on
all stoves and ranges.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-07-14
The MEETING
AT MADISON

MADISON. wis. July 1.-THE btn
annual session Of the Columbian
Catholic Summer school IL being held
here. n commenced yesterday and
will close Thursday. August .
The territory for which this school
provides embraces SIX ecclesiastical
provinces nearest TO Chicago. COM
prisins 20 suffragan dioccses. and
stretching over is western states;
Illinois, Indiana. Kentucky. ohio,
Tennessee. Michigan. Iowa. Nebras-
ka. Wyoming. Wisconsin. Missouri.
Kansas, Minnesota. North Dakota
and South Dakota.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-07-14
WAKE UP,
SENIOR DON
Sleepy Old Don,
Wake Up.
And YOU ALSO. Mr. PRExCHMlN
And You Jehssy saii. Tor the vsets
Are prspsring 10 scoop IN the
Phiiippiss Trade.

WASHINGTON. u. c. July is--
A good illustration Of the view for
elgn nations are taking % the future
Of the Philippine islands under the
American occupation IL contained In
a dispatch recently sent TO the gov.
eminent BY its consular representa-
tive AZ Manila. and transmitted TO
10. state department by John G. CO.
vert, our consul at Lyons:
II contains a long list Of enterprise
ss which Americans are establishing
in the archipelago. aud warns the
French people that they must he up
ana doing n they would not be left
far In the rear. ana adds
The appearance Of Manila 10 des-
tined 90 change In a short time. The
introduction Of a new and powerful
factor In the commercial problem Of
this country will compel Spanish
merchants to close their houses or
entirely Go change their business
methods.
American competition has COM
msRe~d. In fact. 10 assume alarming
proportions What will be the I'm
poftance of this current when these
new comers are free 70 direct the
commercial dsstinIss Of the Philip.
pinss--to Hood this mark., with all
tire products Of their inius,rirsT
The English and German mer-
chants. formerly masters In this coll
eay. watch with keen interest the
events nov IN progress. and await.
uHh unfisguissd Impsiisnce. the ter.
uination % the struggle between the
Americans and the insurgents that
tkry may observe the turn things
siii take. No enc. however. doubts
that a strong rivalry 10 about to
arise. and they regret the past con-
dillon Of Affairs and the advantages
they then possesssi
1T IL probable that under the en-
terprissnx and energetic method. Of
American bushes. man a new and
richer market will soon be opened
on these islands. both in imports and
exports"