The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-07-28
THE CRAFTY "GRAFTER."
Is Good Judge of Human
Nature
washington Star.)

1AAS 1IdSeu, ruln-OQOrllerOuS, young
old man, with the spreading. outstand-
ing ears and the beady. alert. clese- set
eyes, was working the transfer station
graft at the southwest corner of Penn
sylVana avenue and Seventh street the
other evening His employment of his
large and carefully rehearsed repertoire
was mastery. The first man he edged
up TO was fat and florid and of the gen.
eral appearance of a butcher with a
stand of his own
Hey, Cap" hoarsely whispered ths
CRATER with a repertoire, don't look
straight at Ms, FIR de cop on de corners
a rubDernecl, an he's liable to git next.
l bin up agin a hard game Just got
de run from an ice boat dat shipped
on up in Maine for dis port. and dey
dldn pay me no wages or not'in'. Tried
TO git de skipper pinched, but dey gives
me de chase out o. de station house.
Amt had not'in' Z eat FIR tree days
How's il FIR dime?'
That's a good con you got, Bill and
l guess it's worth a dime" said the
man who looked like butcher, and he's
produced The CRATER with a reper-i
toire ambled across the street and,
measured the dimensions of one of the
schOonerS (the only short schooner,
probably. that he ever had measured) 4
and then he took up the station on ths
corner again. Then he tackled a tall,
thin man, with a crepe band around his
hat
Sir said he. ''I trust You VIII over5
look the liberty L take in thus address,
ing you. but have just arrived in this
city, over the Pennsylvania. railroad;
and I am DESTROYS of repairing to the
home Of some relatives OF mine (whouj
| have not seen for many years., living.
in suburb called Tenleytown, or sone-I
thing like that. Unfortunately, whila
was asleep on the smoking car. somes
miscreant went through my clothing
and deprived me of the small sum had
slowed away for small expenditures
and L find myself without the necessary
two car fares which 1 am told are ex]
acted for the journey to Tenleytown.
Might L make so bold as to ask you to
accommodate me to that small EXTENT
until have an opportunity of repaying
vou?"
The tall, thin man had been smilinga
drearily while this yarn was in pro-
greSS.
For your ingenuity of imaginationi
as we'll as for your righteousness Of
narration, my man." he said, and he
passed a quarter into the outstretched
paw of the CRATER with a repertoire
The emporium of schooners was revisit<
ed, and then the spieler of many songs
mot to mention dances) resumed his
stand.
The next one he edged up to with
furtive looks about for the cop at the
crossing) was a puffy-faced young man
in a chess-bOard suit. red-rail-fences
shirt, and straw hat lightly hung on
his left ear. and the look of hot rags
and "spote."
Say, Pittsburg Phil" whispered the
CRATER. look at what de ponies has
done to me, an pass 'em up 1 kin tell
by de cut o yer jib dat EOuse are one
o. de boys bat back de horses off de-
boards. But youse has got de luck wild
youse, whereas de skates has put me on
de hog. Lost de last 5000 I had on Ban
aster, and den I had to skin out from
New York to escape me creditors. Kin
youse make good for de price l got a
lime-kiln first on, an nary de piece o.
silver"
And so you play me for a good thing.
hey?" inquired the young man with this
steeplechase shirt 'front.'
We'll. You win. just because you've got
a line O. spiel" and he separated the
three loose nickels from his change and
handed them to the CRATER.
1T anks." said the Spieler with a rep
ertoire: III put de whole bunch on a
t'Ousand [ one shot. an run de shoe
string into a tannery."
AS a preliminary to which he walked
across the way and incloSed another
schooner or two.
His next was well-groomed. middle
aged man. with gray mutton chop side
whiskerS and a pair of keen gray eyes,
MY friend said the CRATER, a sort
Of shame-faced candor sticking out all
over him. Il confess with humiliation
hat while l am in the most urgent need
Of a drink of whisky. l have not the
money wherewith TO buy the same. DU
endanger my liberty by respectfully.
il abaShedly, asking you to supply my
need?'
Not in the least" replied the we'll
man with the mutton chop
Yhiskers Your monumental gall is
1iverting and rather out of the common
IN a city composed of conservative peo-
pie Moreover a man who will so far
cheaper his manhood by begging for a
drink of whisky on a public thorough
fare. if for no other purpose than be-
cause the drink of whisky may tempo
-ariIy fool him into believing that he is
human. Here's 10 cents. Absorb it,
and he, too, gave up
You bring me to a realizing sense of
ny sorry condition, sir" said the graft
er with a repertoire, and then he cut
across the street and embodied two
'oaming schooners without any grief
manifeSting itself in the ex-
preston of his countenance.
After this malt reflection the spieler
good thing of the evening happened
along then. He was a stout man, clad
n good. but very much disarranged
clothes. in need OF a shave and with a
general look of a man who had been
giving his wife good search for him.
Boss" said the CRATER, moving up
% the real good thing. look at de COM
-ortable way youse fixed and den size
ne up for a case o de emptiesi Bin
littin up dis burg for two days wild
,ut airy drink an none in sight.
iOn't purtend to be up TO youse class
ZAP. but 1 wouldn't do ting if l had
le price o. a pint o. de hard Stuff
The real good thing eyed the CRATER
With mellow, alcoholic sympathy BEAM
ng from his blinky gaze.
Nary Zhrink in two daySh. YOU
hay?'' he inquired. "Po boy. % boyi
;had-ver' shad-zhat's what l call it,
come on wish me and III fish you out
20 slob, Hard to be 'iZshout zhrink,
,etcher IL 1 know THAT; come Onr'
The CRATER with repertoire wlnked
agely TO himself, and then followed
he deviating footsteps of the real good
hing across the avenue. The real good
hink ambled unsteadily up to the steps
f the weird architectural mOnstrosity.
allied drinking fourtaip. that stands
lnder the trees at the northeast corner
f Seventh street and the avenue. and
waved the CRATER grandiloquently
hereto.
Now zhrink. po' boy. an heaven
,lesh your he said.
Conduct Accounted For.
Fundamentals Journal)