The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-01-26

IdlCnIul 10 Ills Vile. AS SItO oN Jug
her arm forward every man in the
church but one ducked under the seat.
After giving the man that stood the
test without fiinching good puff, as
the newspapers call it, the preacher
learned that he was deaf mute. The
revelation was little discouraging
until the dodgers explained that they
had seen woman throw stone at a
hen and knew mighty we'll that she
would not hit the fellow she was throw
ing at, and lodged as precaution, not
from conscience.
Father Staunton, the well-known
London ritualist, once entered into con-
versation with visitor to st. Adams,
Holborn, who had attended the service
for the first time. Mr.. Staunton asked
him what he thought of the service.
The stranger replied that he liked it
very we'll except the incense, to which
he objected very strongly.
81 am very sorry for you, my friend"
said Mr.. Staunton.
"Why ?" asked the other.
swell, you see," said Mr.. staunton,
"there are only two stinks in the next
world-incense and brimstone-and
you'll have to choose between themw
"Jube" Posey, constable of the town
of Claiborne, Texas, was recently sent
to levy on some calves in a stable, but
his mission was unsuccessful for the
reason that is set forth in the follow
ing memorandum, which he jOtted
down on the levy before returning it to
the court: "The above calves were see-
able through the kraks, but not gitata-
BILE, as the door was locked"
The other day a lady visiting here
stayed behind as the crowd she was
with passed out of the Office Her Gu
riosity wanted some satisfaction, prob
ably. First she asked Hans whether
he was saved.
"Yas, vas safe all right, guess"
said Hans.
"You poor boy, what are you in pris-
On fOr?"
81 but some of dose ire-crackers on
the street car track, already" said
Hans.
"And how long must you stay in
PRISON."
Life" said Hans sententiousIy.
Dear me-" Then in whisper: "who
is that fellow over there?"
"Dat vas de editor"
"What's he here for?"
writing boatery."
"Dear me is that So"
"Yas, he vas one of dem fellows vat
write SMOKES for Buck und Shudge und
he loose his shob by being DISPLACED
NIT lab or:saving machinery"
OK o
There is married couple living in
Harlem whose relations are not always
harmonious. During heated discus
sion the other day he said:
eve have been married five years.
wish l had chance to go through that
ceremony again with YOU"
81 know what you would do. You
would say no, and disgrace me before
everybody. That would be like you for
oil ho
temptible sneak on earth, you are the
one"
"Hold up minute, will you," said
he. "The only reason I'd like to have
that marriage ceremony over again is
to hear you make one more short talk.
All you said on that sad occasion was
yes"
An Arkansas farmer who was a del
egate to recent convention in Little
Rock was greeted by fellow.farmer
and delegate the morning after his ar
rival and asked how he felt.
"Mighty poorly" was the reply.
"Didn't sleep wink the whole night
through"
"Why, what was the matter? ?" asked
the other.
"There was goldarned light shining
right in my eyes all night long,"
"Why didn't you get up and blow it
Out?"
"Blow it out?" was the reply. "How
could blow it out when the blame
thing was shut up in bottle?"
OKO
The rule that no person shall smoke
in a street car is enforced strictly by
the conductors on all Memphis lines,
but an exception is made in the case of
one passenger, namely, the Hon. Jno.