davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-05

A majority of the ills affecting people
to-day can be traced to kidney trouble.
It pervades all classes of society, in all
climates, regardless of age, sex OF con-
dition.
The sallow, Notwithstanding people
you often meet are afflicted with kid
ney complexion" Their kidneys are
turning to parsnip color, so is their
complexion. They may suffer from in
digestion, bloating, sleeplessness, uric
acid, gravel, dropsy, rheumatism, ca
tarrh OF the bladder, or irregular heart.
You may depend upon it, the cause il
weak, unhealthy kidneys.
women as we'll as men are made mis-
cradle with kidney and bladder trouble
and both need the same remedy. Dr..
kilmer's Swamp-Root, the great kid
ney, liver and bladder remedy, will
build up and strengthen weak and un-
healthy kidneys, purify the diseased,
kidney-poisoned blood, clear the COM
plexion and soon help the sufferer to
better health.
The mild and the extraordinary effect
OF Swamp4Root is soon realized. 1t
stands the highest for its wonderful
cures OF the most distressing cases, such
as weak kidneys, catarrh OF the bladder,
gravel, rheumatism and Bright's Dis
ease, which is the worst form of kidney
trouble. It is sold by druggists, in fifty
cent and dollar sizes. You may have .
sample bottle by mail free, also pamph-
let telling all about it. Address DR. XII
mer q Co., Binghamtou, ny.
When writing be sure and mention
reading this generous offer In this ps-
per.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-05
GRA THE SOLDIER.
His Greatness Burst Forth When
Great Deeds We're Needed.
A Life History which Probably Has
No Equal-Evcr Ready for Duty,
1s He Never Neglected the
Smallest Details.

~ [Born, April q, 1922; Died, July %, 1851
Much that has been written and
published concerning the life of Grant
prior to the civil war may be
ascribed to rhetorical license. Like
every illustrious man from Moses
to Bismarck, he has been made
to suffer in the house of his friends.
In the campaigns of 1868 and 1872.
which resulted in his election, success
slvely, to the presidency, he was de-
clared to have been tanner, and, in
deed, his admirers, substituted this
name of a trade for his own, trans
parencics and the headings of news
paper articles using in big black let
tiers the words, "Grant, the. Tanner"
AS fact, he knew no more about the
tannery business than he did of the
languages of the orient. His father
owned and operated number of tan
neries, but the only connection which
Gen. Grant had with the business was
as clerk in an Office at Galena, ILL.,,
where he purchased hides for his ia
Their, shipping them to the tanneries
in Ohio.
Perhaps no great man who has lived
afforded in his life until his thirty
ninth year so few of the evidences of
dormant genius as the victor of Donel-
son and Appomattox. Born of emf
nently respectable parents, his youth
was passed with out exciting incident
OF any kind. Accident brought him an
appointment as cadet at West Point,
and so little did the congressman who
bestowed this favor know of him that
he actually made the blunder of writ
ing his name ulysses ST." instead of
his rightful one, ''Hiram Ulysses"
When the young cadet reached West
Point and learned that correction of
the error involved labor, time and
trouble, he philosophically accepted
the situation and was known no longer
as ''Hiram.'
Grant at West Point was an earnest,
quiet pupil, but was regarded as some
what dull. The only thing in viii ch
he really excelled was horseback rid
ing. In this he had no equal among
all his schoolmates. He graduated
nearly at the foot of very large class.
His career in the army was unmarked
by any event worthy of record until
the Mexican war, when he was honora-
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-05

take out half q column Of plate ma tier;
I will be back in a few minutes with
something to fill ir.' z
So saying, he rushed out, and striding
up street met by chance the lazy who
had been visiting Mrs. Herrick that
afternoon.
Heard about the wedding?'' she
asked him, as he drew near.
''No; but was just going to find out
about it," ne answered. "Young Ring.
ham and Susie Peters, wasn't it %
'Xes; I was next door during the
ceremony, and it was the quietest thing
in the way of a wedding I ever heard
Of"
:"Who married them?'' 2.
"Parson Hildreth, and he was the only
! person there outside the family. l
don't believe their nearest neighbors
would have. known ything about it il
it hadn't been for the twins. They were
on hand with the rice and old shoes and
gave the couple good sendoff.''
what was her dress?" queried
Dodge, jotting down the points as fast
as his garrulous informant brought
them out.
"White duck skirt, pink shirt waist
and plain white sailor hat. She looked
real sweet, but no one would suspec,
from her dress"
Mr.. Peters was among the first that
afternoon to get the paper, but without
stopping to look at it's contents he
wendell his way home and tossed the
sheet into his wife's lap.
| Here, mother, is the illumination, u
his favorite name for the Clipper;
"where are the twins?'
II put them to bed,'' said Mrs. Peters,
unfolding the paper, "that they might
realize how naughty they were this
afternoon, but o! what is this p
'Bingham-Peters,'" and with wide, dis
tended eyes-horror, Indignation, and
amazcment in her whole attitude, she
began to read the sews while it was
Bws and decidedly fresh.
"a pretty home wedding took place
this afternoon at the residence of our
esteemed fellow-citizen, Mr.. John f.
Peters, whose eldest daughter, Miss
Susan Amelia, was united in marriage
to Mr.. Charles Gerold Bingham, a ris-
ing young lawyer of Snowsville.
''The wedding was a quiet affair, in.
deed, only the immediate members of
the BRIDES family being present at the
ceremony, which was performed by
Rev. DR.. Hildreth, pastor of the First
church.
''The bride. one of Snowsville's fair
est daughters, was plainly but most be-
comingly gowned in a white duck skirt
and pink shirt waist, and she was at,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-05
H. ST : = ! a1lllfS
j. $
NY SHIP.

Ny ship is coming in at last,
My. ship that sailed afar:
With spreading sail and favoring gale
She's sailing Ger the bar.
She's coming in.
She's coming in,
Over the harbor bar!
She's coming in.
She's coming in,
My ship that sailed afar.
With ice-bound hull and storn-rent sail.
All battered by the sea,
With wind-swept deck, almost wreck.
She's coming back to me.
She's coming in, etc.
She bringeth not the cargo now
For which she sailed lang syne,
But treasures greater far. trow.
May yet, perchance, be mine.
She's coming in, etc.
And when she's anchored safe in port.
With all her sails unbent,
Ended the long uncertainty,
Then I shall be content.
She's coming in, etc.
o sweet content! vision fair!
Rest from the lifelong strife:
The peace of God, the Lords well done.
The joy Of endless life.
She's coming in, etc.
Run up the colors to the peak
And fire the signal gun!
My ship is coming into port,
Her voyage is almost done!
She's coming in,
She's coming in,
Over the harbor bar!
She's coming in,
She's coming in,
My ship that sailed afar!
Harriet E. Banning. in N. Y. Observer.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-05

But Grant was persistent and held on.
Many raw recruits were coming into
Springfield, and it occurred to the gov
ernor that the ex-army officer might
make a good drill master, and it was
in this capacity that Grant first served
his country in the civil war.
Yates was an observant as we'll as q
most able man, and he saw that the
men committed to Grant learned their
duties rapidly. Presently regiment
arrived which grew rebellious and
chased away it's colonel and other field
officers. Yates was in strait. Here
was rank revolt, which must, in the in
terest of discipline, be promptly put
down, but how to do it was beyond his
ken. Then he bethought him of the
quiet but efficient drillmaster, and he
asked Grant if he would take command
of the regiment. Coolly and laconical-
" Grant said he would, and his COM
mission was promptly made out.
Within two weeks this recalcitrant
regiment was one of the best ordered
and disciplined in the state of Illinois.
In effecting this wonderful TRANSFORMED
ton he INDUCED in no heroics and
melted out no severe punishment. In
his own quiet way he introduced order,
and the men appeared to know that
in him they had master whom they
we'll might honor and obey. It was with
this regiment that he proceeded to
Belmont and snatched a victory in the
face of defeat. And it was his conduct
here that indicated to the authorities
that Grant was man who might be
trusted safely with command of men.
Until Belmont Grant had afforded no
proof that his life might be in any
sense eventful. He had tried army life
and given it up as a failure. He had
assumed one civil calling after another
only to fail in it. Now, at 80 years of
age, he was colonel of a volunteer regi-
ment, as hundreds of other men were,
and the war was before him. Still his
ability had stamped itself upon the
governor of Illinois, and shortly after
ward he was made a brigadier general.
This promotion did not come, though,
until he had won it by the thoroughness
of his organization of the army gath
cred at Cairo.
And now all things changed in the
life of this marvellous man. On sud-
den, like a meteor, he flashed upon the
war sky; yet, unlike the meteor, mis-
brightness remained, increasing until
the end of the great war. He proceed
ed against Fort Donelson, and when
asked by the beleaguered generals what
terms he had to offer, replied in these
two words, which became the slogan of
all the federal armies: unconditional
surrender Fort Henry came next and
then Shiloh. Jealousy placed him un-
der arrest after Donelson and after
Shiloh, but his name had become ma
tional and the people were sounding his
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-05
A LITTLE NONSENSE.

Folks don't like counterfeiters be
cause they get bad Impressions of them.
Philadelphia Times.
Mrs. Graball-"O, I'm sure the teas
too strong!" Mr.. Mansard Innocent
ly)-''O, no, mum! It's the butter. =
San Francisco Examiner.
Ladies Courageous are the
chief heroines in modern English fic-
tion?" "The women who read the fic-
ton. Chicago Daily Record.
Teacher Did any of you ever zee
an elephant skin?" Bright Boy
please, sir, I have" Teacher Where
was it, my boy?" Bright Boy-"On the
elephant, sir. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Not His Idea of It.-"Give your testi-
mony without so much prompting"
said the judge, losing patience with
the reluctant witness. ''Speak freely"
''What! Don't get no fee?" said the
witness, becoming Chicago
Tribune.
A little four-year-old whose curiosity
extends to the great hereafter asked
his mother: Twill I have to go to
Heaven?" ''Don't you want to go, Bill
ly?" 20, don't know. It will be aw-
full lonesome with all the folks that are
dead."-Troy Press.
First Young Woman-"Let's see;
who wrote :Pickwick Papers?'" Sec
ond Ditto-''Dickens." "Of course.
couldn't for the moment think of his
name" ''He was the author of PEN
dennis and Under Two Flags you
know ''Oh, yes; know that -Bos-
ton Transcript.
Objected to the Price.-"One thing
that want to call your attention to, ~
said Mrs. Hashem, as Harduppe called
to inspect the rooms, els that my terms
are strictly in advance" II noticed it, ~
commented that youth, flippantly;
they're away in advance of what can
get board for just across the street.
Good day. Philadelphia Record.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-05

tended by her twin sisters, Pauline anc
Polly, who showered the happy coupl.
with rice as they started away on a car
rage trip.
Mr.. and Mrs. Bingham are popular
young people, and the Clipper joins thei:
host of friends in extending congratula.
tions and good wishes.''
Those wretched children" breathec
Mrs. Peters, starting to her feet, while
Pauline and Polly covered their guilty
heads with the bed clothes.
Don't faint, mother, don't. His es.
teemed fellow-citizen is going right
down to interview Editor Dodge, and
while I'm gone you can write up his
obituary. I'll guarantee that it will be
founded on fact at least. Where's my
hate"
But Mrs. Peters was dissolved in
tears, and before her husband sue
ceeded in finding his head covering,
alone and unaided, Susie and young
Bingham returned from their ride in a
| state of satisfaction that even the Clip
per was powerless to disturb. After
they had read the Clippers account of
their wedding Mr.. Bingham plucked up
courage to propose that they regard it
as prophecy and proceeded i'm
lnediately to fulfill it.
Mrs. Peters, in the awkward circum.
stances in which they. were placed, ap-
proved of the idea, and Mr.. Peters, after
a time, was persuaded to tip his hat at a
less murderous looking angle. and de-
parted in search of Parson Hildreth in
stead of the moving spirit of the press,
while Mr.. Bingham sought the town
clerk to procure the license.
At the intercession of their sister, the
term of Imprisonment was shortened
for the twins, and they emerged from
their temporary confinement ina state
of subdued joyousness that found ex-
preston in a remark from Polly to the
effect that they would play nothing
| but funerals after this:
But Editor Dodge never really under
| stood why Mr.. Bingham subscribed for
the Clipper and paid down ten years in
advance, with the remark that he liked
to encourage genius; or why Mr.. Petera
at the same time stopped his subscrip
ton and tried for a whole year to exist
by borrowing his neighbours papers,
Atlanta Constitution. ,G. - =
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-05

bly, mentioned for heroism on the field
of battle. When that war was over the
tedium of camp life bore upon him
heavily. He chafed under the mac
ton of his life nd longed for employ
ment that would call into play the
energies of his nature. He had married
and a child was born to him, and, final
~, he resigned, being then captain.
Rut his milita1 " training had unfit
eight years of trI al and privation that
never have been told. Doubtless rec
ord of them will never be made. Those
who know the facts are 10th to relate
them. In his failures there is moth
ing which reflects upon his manhood;
but they were tris tful days - days of
worry and unrest on his part, days of
privation for his devoted and uncom-
planning wife. He went to St. Louis
and tried the real estate business, in
which he was unsuccessful. Equally
unhappy was he in an insurance ven
ture. Now aud then a little survey
ing came his way. Yet money reached
him>slowly, and he had great difficulty
in providing for the needs of his increas-
ing family. Frbm his father-in-law,
Judge Dent, he received little land
few miles out from St. Louis. He set
tied upon this, bit there was in him not
one trait of the jarmer and weeds were
more plentiful than growing grain
upon his acres. Through more than
one winter he supported his family
by hauling wood to St. Louis and sell
ing it in the streets.
Finally his father came to his res
cue and tendertd him a position as
clerk and manager in his Galena Office
at the poor compensation of $50 per
month"; He was receiving this sum
when the attach was made upon Fort
Sumter.
Most quiet and reserved, he made but
few acquaintance at ,Galena. When
a mass-meeting WAS called to indorse
the administration and promote vol
unteering. some one knew him as
"Capt. Grant, la1e of the United States
army" and proposed him as chairman,
and he was SO ebcted. Elihu B. Wash
burne, member pf congress from that
district and resident of Galena, was
present, and he had never heard of
Capt Grant, having to ask who was
the presiding officer. 4
It is evident that his record in the
regular army hal made no impression
upon the authotities at Washington,
for when he addressed a letter to the
president offering his services in any
capacity in whilh he might be made
useful, and this lie did at the beginning
Of host;lities, The commune cation was
unanswered. ULYSSES S. Grant, ex-cap-
tain and then tanners clerk, was too
obscure q person that he should be no.
ticed by those s. authority.
Wearying Of whiting, he went in per-
son to Springfield and offered his serv-
ices to Gov. Yates That official had no
use for him and plainly told him so.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-05
Holiness HumOF,

The late Mr.. John Holmes, whose rep
utation for wit was not as wide as that
of his celebrated elder brother. DIR.
Oliver Wendell Holmes, was yet known
among his intimates as a man of Ready
repartee and characteristic humor. Mr.
Holmes never married, but lived by him
self in little house in Cam bridge, and
once friend rallied him on his lonely
life. You ought to marry, John, . said
he, "and have a larger house y, "Why,
yes" replied Mr.! Holmes, with quiet
smile, If should take q better half, I
would have to improve my quarters: -
Youths Companion. '., rs s.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-05
The SlamanE.

The SlamanE.
The gentle siamang is a gibbon and
no monkey. In assemblies On the tree
tops live the siamang whoopins
through the octaves, calling to their
friends from miles away, and sweep
ing off to meet them, racing steeple.
chases with the winds. I have seen,
and hope to live and see again, pack
of the siamang going through the jun
gle-a long black arm and a small
crumpled body swinging wildly from it
like a pendulum run mad, then sui
cidal fling, crash in the covering
green, and SO they are gone. Tame
they arc the gentlest creatures. The
Malays catch the young ones and bring
them to our doors, knowing that buy
we must. 1t is not among the posi-
biities for Mem to resist the forlorn
small speeches.. thing, when it winds
its long arms and fingers round her
neck, and hides it's black wrinkled face
OF an old woman, with round unhappy
eyes, in the softness of her morning
gown. Or it 1urches across the veranda
on pair of very handy little legs, bal
ancing itself with outstretched arms
But they always die. They who have
weathered torrential rains under the
open heaven die in captivity of CON.
sumption, and cough out their ill-com.
pretended souls like Christians. hud.
died in a blanket.-Blackvoos
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-05
The original Discoverer..

'~''That war Investigation said the
great grandee, seems to have caused
considerable excitement in the United
States 81
= ''War investigation?" inquired the
naughty hidalgo; what was it for?''
'.Why, the Americans claimed that
the war was not conducted as it should
have BEEN
! '.Pshaw! We observed that fact last
! summer. 81 nd ge. 49, 1855: SO: 1
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-05

| praises. But yesterday tanners clerk,
to-day the conqueror of four men-
orable battles. This, too, while federal
generals elsewhere were losing battles
to the enemy. He was released from ar
rest and proceeded on his way from
conquering to fresh conquest. He
gave Vicksburg to the nation and then
proceeded to the relief of Rosecrans at
Chattanooga.
In all these battles, succession of
victories, he made no complaints, never
called for any additional troops, and
his reports to Washington were models
of brevity. Fame did not turn his head.
He was as modest, as unassuming, as
quiet and reserved after Lookout Noun
tain as he was when a private citizen at
Galena.
The youth and earlier manhood that
were unpromising were really prepara-
ton days for the great responsibilities
of his after life. His army life gave him
experience for generalship; his priva-
ton schooled him to patience and per-
sistence of purpose. The great reserve
force was present in him and only re-
quired the exigencies to bring them out.
He failed in no requirement of the civil
war. When Lincoln gave him COM
mand Of all the armies he was as ready
for these added duties as he was for
those of simple drillmaster under. d.
rection of the governor of Illinois. The
greatness in the man burst forth when
great duties were needed to be per.
formed.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-05
Her Point of View.

Farmer Hornbeak- They say that
when we finish annexin' all the terri
tory we took from Spain the sun win
never set on the United States possess
sions. s7@ q sE
Mrs. Hornbeak-Dear me! Jest think
if it should be the same way with the
, hens.-Judge. &
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-05
Simple Addition,

A teacher at Garden City said to her
primary class the other day: IF your IA
Their gave your mother seven dollars to-day
and eight dollars tomorrow, what would
she have?" And the small boy over in the
corner replied: "She would have it,
Kansas City Journal
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-05
His Noisy Bric-a-Drac.

Blobs-Wigwag has a, collection of
beer mugs decorated with all the col
lege yells. Queer idea, isn't it?
Hobbs-Not at all. Didn't you ever
hear Of, the cup that cheers ?-Town
Topics.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-05

you can't place any dependence on
a woman's word. !" moodily remarked
the young man who had been Tilted.
."Of course, you don't believe that?"
"Oh, yes, | do, !" said the married man,
MY wife has been threatening tn leave
me n for ten years. Indianapolis Jour.
nal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-05
Whoa tn Hare

When girl graduates she has an ambition
to show the world what noble woman,
with high purpose in life, can do; but she
meets a man and marries him, and soon be-
gins to get that funny look in her eyes,
Atchison Globe.