West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1899-12-07

Buck wheat Co., w. Va, Nov. "a.
Dear Zeph:-Come over and
spend Thursday with me. Can't
we two old cranks scare up some
sort of competition with the cold,
unfriendly world in the Thanks
giving business !?
Your huckleberry,
JOSHUA JINGLINs.
| saw That Josh felt a little sour
and needed chirking up. Conse-
quently, | spent three hours Thurs.
day morning in trying to make one
of my feet overtake the other. The
experiment brought me to the
abode Of Josh.
The only incident Of the walk
worth special mention was meeting
a man with q COW bell round his
neck. He had gone after his COW
the evening before, and found the
bell and strap, but not the COW. So
for convenience, he hung the bell
round his own neck and walked on.
lie got to thinking so much about
how he would spend the money he
got for his turkey gobblers, that
he forgot the bell was not on the
COW and had walked all night with
out finding out his mistake. lie is
the same man who was so absent
minded on another occasion that
hc' put his um brella to bed, and
hung himself by the shirt collar on
the very nail where he was in the
habit of hanging up the umbrella.
A neighbor was on the point of
going away from Josh's. He had
been In the army and was telling
how his company was out for tar
get practice one day, and they
could find only one bullet hole
when they came to examine the
mark. Upon digging in the tree
behind it, they found all their bull
lets in one solid chunk. Josh and
felt sorry to think of the outra-
geous yarn this man was trying to
palm off on us for truth. Neither
OF us would dream of telling such
stuff. 1t would make us lie awake
all night merely to suspect we had
said something that is not strictly
so.
The dinner was AL. However,
L shall not go into detail as to
what 1T was made up of, because
there are some people who cannot
be made to believe that men folks,
especially such unfortunates as he
and l, can get mp II square meal.
But did have to grumble some at
the bread. found my teeth were
getting loose, and before | could
finish the meal, l had to white
out some oak wedges and drive
them into my jaws alongside my
teeth, so as to keep the latter from
webbing about.
"The breads all right" said
Josh. 1.-The trouble is with you.
III admit it isn't raised bread
"That may be-" l interrupted.
cit doesn't need to be raised. It'll
would lift the hair on cast.iron
goat if you give 1T half Il chance"
OH tell you how | got used to
chewing it," resumed Josh. owe
used to have some hens that grand
pap brought to che Land of Buck
wheat. They were the old stock,
and for long while, we couldn't
think of killing them off. But
finally we did, and ] always laid
claim to the gizzards. could
chew one of them "a whole day. and
they caused wonderful develop
ment Of jaw muscle. | can bite
through one Of these biscuits as
easy AS | can crunch soda cracker.
l make them out of flour, water,
salt and sugar. with some horse
radish for seasoning, and ! work
the dough till 1T will stretch out
like India rubber, aud then draw
mp like an ironclad mortgage. I
am experimenting ON yeast now.
and | can beat the women already.
The trouble is. 10 will rise too
much The last batch ] tried kent
rising afto it was put INTO the
oven, and it, blew out the oven
door"
] want to say right here for lhc
benefit Of those cranky people who
might have thc notion como into
their heads that Josh overdr.ws
things slightly: / viii ,ouch for
Josh every time Both he and I |