The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1899-10-15
Defends Divorce
Ella Wheeler Wilcox
on the Subject.

| the utteranceS OF c!ergymen in these IN
| orthodox days has been accorded three
| prominent New York divines during the
| last few months, owing to their extensive
views on the subject of divorce.
| They might have delivered eloquent
| orations which would have embellished
| the English language and illustrated their
own deep learning in Bible lore. and their
congregations would have quietly mapped
in upholstered pews. But a strong SEN
| tence or two plainly uttered regarding
the duty of the church TO refuse a remar
riage to a divorced man or woman
brought an alarmed interest into languid
faces and drove sleep from lazy eyelids.
A few people are always ready to listen
to theories on the origin of man; a great
many people will listen to a discussion OF
mans ultimate end; but the whole world
is ready at all times to listen to anything
concerning mans relation to woman.
Sex attraction is a subject Of universal
interest
And why not, since the world Of Great
ed beings rests uponHts existence?
When marriage is based upon an at
traction that is wholly physical or f1nan-
CAdl II CdHuOL DC wondered dL Il II proves
failure as an enduring relation.
The spiritual, the mental. and the ply
steal must all unite in a perfect mar
rage, and there must be mutual sacri-
fees. mutual yielding and mutual
thoughtfulness, from the altar to the
grave.
Marriage, TO my thinking. must be either
heaven or hell; and while II requires two
people to make this heaven on earth.
one can very successfully produce hell
without assistance.
do not believe God requires any man
or woman to live a lifetime of misery be-
cause Of an error made in early youth
The next best thing to a happy mar
riage is freedom from an unhappy one.
There is no crime greater than the
crime against ones own self; land it is a
species Of suicide for a man or woman to
live in lifelong bondage with a loveless
and unloved companion.
Much is said of the shadow which rests
upon children whose parents are divorced.
Little is said of the scars which are
left forever upon the hearts OF children
reared in a discordant home
Until human nature becomes finer and
a higher thing than It is today. separa-
ton and divorce will be as necessary in
the world as marriage
But when we come to marriage after
divorce. that is another question. and
question that cannot we'll be satisfac-
torily settled for the worlds best inter
ests by the opinion Of one or a dozen
men Of the cloth
That 1t is high time something was
done to stop the present epidemic Of d.
vorces and remarriages, the whole world
realizes today as never before. When
fashion sets it seal of approval upon a
custom. it requires the combined efforts
of religion and law to counteract it.
The marriage and divorce laws in
America today need remodelling. They
have been so misused and abused by half
dozen of our leading families in the world
of wealth and fashion that general disas-
ter to the domestic system of the land
seems imminent
1t is not an infrequent occurrence to-
day to hear inferior men and women de-
Tending their positions as objects OF
scandal because the -Four Hundred
have been talked about"
ut is owing to the fact that you are
behind the times and out Of the swim"
said one man in an interior town when
rebuked for his infidelity. Look at New
York society I am only doing what The
leaders of finance and fashion do bold
""
Men with three living wives are to be
encountered almost anywhere today, and
women whose marriages outnumber their
decades.
It IS just here that It seems to me that
our legislators might improve our laws.
Why not pass a law that no divorced
man or woman should marry more than
once? and that the granting of divorce
after ten years of married life would
make any subsequent marriage Illegal.
Where there IS absolute and incompar-
able incompatibility between two peo-
pie It divulges itself before the expira-
ton Of ten years. It Is impossible for
man 10 absolutely know a woman's dis
position or a woman a mans until af-
ter living together as husband and wife.
For the surprises and disbursements
which cannot be remedied in a nine
years effort, let there be a possible re-
ward in a later marriage.
Many people marry at twenty, and re-
pent at twenty-five. To doom them TO
a half century Of wretchedness IS to de-
feat life's highest purposes.
When mature people. after many years
of marriage, become estranged, It IS usu-
ally through the intervention Of a third
party. and not through the disillusionary
process which comes TO younger couples.
Let the mistaken young have another
trial al happiness.
Let the mature to whom life should
teach the great lessons Of self-contro1 and
discretion. learn to employ these virtues
and avert the disaster they so often in
vite
There Is no fool like an old fool-male
or female There IS being more utterly
selfish than mature married man who
makes M HIS mind that he wants a
younger wife than the one he possesses
unless II is a married woman who be-
comes infatuated with another man.
How tn prevent such disasters would
be an excellent subject for series OF
sermons by our leading clergymen.
Let them impress upon their fashion
able congregations the fact that hapnl-
ness IN marriage IS a fine art, and one
worth studying and that 4 is good
form" . be IN love with ones wife or
husband. At present the contrary idea Is +
the general superstition. Young mea and
women are expected 70 make good mar
-iases." ard had husbands and Indifferent
wives result
The husband and wife who coaspicu- (
7usiy prefer each others society are
aushed a. The married bale IS admir-
- and the married osa1 : sought.
II would he wise for society q learn
hat "a good time and intense e7joy-