davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15

At North Side boarding house one
Of the newly arrived boarders, named
Burton. il an expert accountant. The
first evening after his arrival he began
boring the other boarders by talking
"shop' and relating the great feats of
mathematics that be had accomplished
in his time. Smith. one of the star
boarders made up his mind to rid the
parlor of shop talk. at least for that
night.
II have little piece of addition
work that think yon would have
hard time in doing If you can add it
without o. aid of a pencil and paper.
you are a good one
"Name each item. and l will add.
said Burton.
Five barrels of cider at 81 56 bar.
rel Have you got that down."
Yes.
-Four bushels of bran at 80 cents
bushel Have you got that down."
"Yes.
Fifteen kegs of horseshoe nails at
81. 80 and two strings of garlic at 80
cents a string. Have you got that
down %
Eyes; go on. =
"Six gallons of castor oil at 81 %.
Have you got that down."
Yes
Sure you We got il all down."
"Sure, l have" said Burton.
"H-ml How does it all taste %
Chicago Journal.
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15

The writer in describing the perlous
journey over the st. Bernard pass in
part says:
we see a little trickle of water start
from a snowbank and swell, fed by
dashing streams great and small
Some of these fall from heights a mile
above us, tinkling and spa ng and
hiding here and there, but finally
reaching the valley Pink crocuses
star the fields. and barberry bushes. ON
fire with berries, line the wayside. The
scenery grows richer; there are more
cultivated fields; houses begin to ap-
pear on every ledge, now and then "A
fine tower of some medieval castle
rose above the trees, then the silvery
gray olive the fantastic vineyards;
the swarms Of black eyed. dirty chill
dren begging; all tell of Italy. Under
a burning sun and covered with dust
we reach Aosta. tired and hungry, but
rich in elevated thoughts, aspirations
and pleasant memories of our varied
and interesting experiences. National
MagaZiuc
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15
For Cisbuomsn 10 Ponder.

An irate man returned from a stere-
optlcon lecture lately with l1Osed
and raging tongue. Usually he vas Il
calm aud reticent person, but he had
sat during the whole evening behind
Il large hat aud he was rlghte0usly
mad" And then" he went on. with
Increasing choler. there was dead
bird On her hat, aud an aigret be.
sides. What Is the use " your vaunt-
ed women's clubs| be rallied. You
talk about the ciyillzlng effect they
have Oh the womcu-hOw they inform
and broaden tie mind. and all that
/ grant the hats are broadened. That's
the chief effect seen
LECTURERS aud writer. aud even
legislatures are constantly relterating
the truth that our song birds au1 pin.
mage birds are being EXTERN mated.
and TINT insects are destroying the
crops in consequence but not bird
less do we see on the Women.s hats.
Mrs. Olive Thorne Miller brings tears
to the eyes of her audience whenever
she tells the story Of Tho algfet yet
most Of the we'll bred and cultured
women still wear aigrets
THIS matter OF the wearing d birds
on their hats seems 10 be an especially
hard ole for our women - eeupre-
hend. one gentle charming laay mei
friend on the street one day not long
ago and said I'm in an awful hurry
am on my way to As. They arc
selling humming birds there for 81 a
pair perfectly lovely and I'm afraid
they'll be gone There's a terrible
rush for them"
You don [ mean 10 say that YOU are
going to have pair Of dead hummin4
birds on your bonnet?" stammered her
shocked friend
Certainly. It will be just as becom
ing and as stylish as 1t can be Dom
look SO. If don't get them, somebody
else will. They are dead anyhow and
l might as we'll wear them as any
body
With this ridiculous bit Of logic She
passed on. The next time her friend
saw her she had pair Of pathetic lit
tie humming birds just above bel
bright merciless eyes.-kate Upsor
Clark In Woman's Home Companion
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15

A coquette is being who wishes to
please. Alas coquettes are too rare.
IT'S career that requires great abili-
ties, infinite pains, gay and airy spirit.
IT'S the coquette that provides all
amusements, suggests the riding party,
plans the picnic, gives and guesses
charades, acts them. She is the stirring
element amid the heavy congeries of so
cial atoms; the soul of the house, the
salt of the banquet. Let any one pass
very agreeable week. or it may be ten
days, under any roof, and analyze the
cause of his satisfaction, and one might
safely make gentle wager that his so
lution would present him with the fIolic
phantom of coquette. Lord Beacons-
Hald
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15

There was "A man hanged fer murder
in Sydney, Australia BY his widow $
consent. his figure was exhibited in a
local waxworks show Every sunday
for six months the woman, dressed in
deepest mourning called and put a
clean shirt on the unresisting form If
the WAX man Then her visits stopped.
Some time after happening to meet the
manager of the show the lady explain
ed, with many bushes. that she had
married again, and heI new husband
theoretically objected To her wlfely at
teution to the toilet of Ne. /, Rlayen
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15

At friendly dinner at Gore House,
when it was the most delightful Of
houses. his dress-say, his eravat Of
shirt collar-had become slightly dlsar
ranged on "A hot evening and Count
d'Orsay laughingly called his attention
to the circumstance as We ro-e from
table. Lander became flushed and great
ly agitated. My dear Count q 'Orsay,
| thank you My dear Count d Orsay,
l thank you from my soul for pointing
out To me the ahominahle condition u
which am reduced If | had entered
the drawing room and presented myself
before Lady Blessinstou in 50 absurd a
light. l would instantly have gone
home, put a pistol To my head and
blown my brains out ID Lander Let.
tiers
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15

Rossettl insisted on everybody paint
Ing. Books. he said. We're no use to "A
painter except to prop up models upon
in difficult positions and then they
might be very useful" IF any man
has any poetry in him" WAS another
saying of Rossctti's, he should paint
for it has all been said and written
and they have scarcely begun to paint
it," saying, by the way. which may
be found also in the third volume Of
"Modern Painters Morris obeycd
the master and took TO painting. Even
when Morris took 10 making furniture
that craft WAS ut first regarded under
Rossetti'S Influence as merely a means
of providing spaces for pictorial deco
ration. Norris built some enormous
chairs, "such as Barbarossa might
have sat in said Rossetti, who pro
cceded TO paint their backs with sub
iects from Morris poems.-London
News
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15
WOMAN'S WORLD.
THE YOUNG WOMAN CONSTABLE WAC
oATnc4S A11EcHAh<Y

For CIubwomen to POnder-seven
sisters HoteI-Why Woman should
support HerseIf-Women of Kip
unR's Stories.
The woman constable has risen In
her official might at Allegheny and de-
clares that she Is as good policeman
us any bluecoated guardian of the
peace who ever swung a club. Her
name is Florence A. Klotz, and she
promises to become a model for the
whole constabulary, from Maine to
California. Miss Klotz was appointed
to the position she holds that she might
act as constable for her father, Alder
man Edward klotz. Being pretty girl
and only Is years of age, those with
W HON her Official duties bring her In
contact find the unpleasantness of
their situation tempered by the agree
able association of the city's official
representative.
Miss kletzs attitude marks the DIS
ciple of afManced womanhood, al
though she does not wear boomers and
is not partial to cold tea parties. She
believes that no sentiment justiticS n
girl making spectacle of herslf When
she accepted the position of constable
Miss Klotz made it understood that she
had no intention of experimenting per-
sonally to solve the problem whether or
not women are natural policemen. She
says:
Il have never been able to see why n
woman should not help herself. Bible
students know that the Lord will help
those who help themselves and what
better authority can anybody need than
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15
CIenning the Chimney

Az easy way to clean a chimney of
SCOT has been discovered by Maine
man. Instead of going to the top Of
the chimney and probing with rods, he
begins at the bottom There an open
ing is made, and he fires upward re-
volver charged with a blank cartridge
The concussion it is said, will clean
out the SCOT He also claims that the
burning of piece OF zinc in stove
will clear the stove and its funnel OF
Root
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15
A Story of Sterility,
SUFFERING AND RELIEF.
[Lnrrss TO mas. rrsrHAn NO. eo,rs6I

DEAR MRS PISKHAM-Two years
ago l began having such dull, heavy
dragging pains in my back, menses
were profuse and painful, and was
troubled was leucorrhea. | took
patent medicines and consulted ply
sician, but received no benefit and
could not become pregnant. Seeing
one of your books, ! wrote to you tell
ing you my troubles and asking for
advice. You answered my letter
promptly and followed the directions
faithfully, and derived so much benefit
that cannot praise Lydia f. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound enough.
l now find myself pregnant and have
begun its use again ] cannot praise
1t enough. Mis-. CORA gibson, YATES,
MANIsTEE, Mich.
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15

WAS my sermon long tins MORN
ing asked a preacher who hH3 .au
taken 10 task for running ovsf time
and who had carefully kept within Il
half hour
No. dear doctor. was the rep,v -
the parishioner 1t WASP long II
only seemed So Boston Waterman
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15
S. S. S. Is the Only
Remedy Equal TO this
Obstinate Disease.


The serious consequences which crofua surely leads
should impress upon those afflicted with it the vital i'm
portance Of wasting time upon treatment which
not possibly effect In many where the wrong
treatment has been relied upon, complicated gandular
dwellings have resulted for which the doctors insist that
q dangerous surgical operation is necessary.
Mr. H. E. Thompson, of Eilledgeville, Ca writes: "a
bad Of Scroua broke oat the glands of my neck
which had to be lanoed and caused much suffering
was treated for long while bpt the physicians
able to me, and my condition bad when
began their treatment Many blood remedies used
but without effect. Some recommended g. 8. s., and
began to improve had taken few bottles
Continuing the remedy, was cured permanently,
and have had sign Of the disease return Sw
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15
s. s. S. FOR THE BLOOD

which promptly
and experimenting
of enduring suffering which
purely vegetable
Scrofua rheumatism
blood
Swift Specific Company, Atlanta, Georgia.
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15
FARM FOR SALE.

~ PALMYRA, a farm under good state 81
l cultivation. containing about 2se acres di-
ylded into ulla9e. pasture, wood and timber
land. Large orchard. House and ell has
eleven finished rooms. split stone cellar.
basement kitchen Large barn, stable, car
rage and wood house, Figgtry, sheds. hen
house Buildings al IN good repair, painted
and blinded. Living water in pasture. ClsteIn.
we'll IN yard Reason for selling falling
health For farther Information cal or write
c. NJ. JEVrrr Pslmyrs, Haiue or NJ A. L.
CHASE 81 Main -. Bangor. Maine sw2l
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15

Quinn-Are you fond of Welsh rab-
Bit
Topliff- Before eating, while l am
eating and for very short time after.
Boston Transcript.
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15
"Your Medicine worked wonders.s

"Your Medicine Worked Wonders"
q had been sick ever since my mar
riage, seven years ago; have given
birth to four children, and had two
miscarriages. l had falling of womb,
leucorrhpa, pains in back and legs;
dyspepsia and a nervous trembling Of
the stomach. Now l have none of these
troubles and can enjoy my life. Your
medicine has worked wonders for
me "-MBs. 5. BABNHART, NEW CASTLE,
PA
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15
SUNSET

SUNSET.
Lift up glad eyes from sordid things
Lu beauty flames ATARI
Before the sunset glory pales
The brilliant evening stan.
The autumn dyes have touched the hills
And kissed the valleys sweet,
And line on line in coming days
Their magic will repeat
The sunset rays in rapture blaze,
The landscape glorify,
The gorgeous light deters the night
That day in hope may die.
OF roseate tints and colors rare,
OF blended shade and light
Lo, gorgeous draperies decline,
Withdrawn by holy night
So be my suns decline at last,
When mortal strife il DER,
To rise in radiancy of hope.
On life's immortal shore.
&C. b. Botsford in Boston Transcript.
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15
Mercantile Agency Solicitor.

a smart reliable man. experienced in
the business wanted at once. Good pay,
and chance for advancement, Apply
giving experience and references. Imos3
Lock Drawer s. Bangor, Me.
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15
ONLY ONE CURE
FOR SCR0FULA,

There are dozens Of remedies recommended for
Scrofuls some of them no doubt being able to
the only remedy which completely cures it.
Sorofula is one of the most obstinate, deepseated
blood diseases, and is beyond the reach of the
many so-called purifiers and toncs because some
thing more than mere tonic is required. S. s. 5.
lie, and never fails to cure Scrofua, because il
e disease, thus permanently eliminating every
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15
DOES COFFEE AGREE WITH YOU /?

II not, drink Grain o-made from pure
grains A lady writes. THE first time /
made Grain o did not ike il but after US
ing 1t fer one week nothing would induce me to
90 back TO coffee" II nonrishes and feeds the
system. The children can drink II freely with
great benefit 1t is the strengthening sub
stance Of pure grains. Get a package today
from your grocer, follow the directions in
making II and yeu will have a delicious and
heslthful table beverage for old and young.
l5c. and 25c.
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15
" JENNESS MILLER" SHOES

in style Of finish, but they are
bound to lack the inherent
qualities. Of the genuine.
The perfect fit that means
SO much ease to the feet is
peculiar to the anatomically
correct "Jenness Miller"
Shoe. 1t is the only shoe
that fits the foot as nature
intended.
We invite you to examine
"Jenness Miller" Shoes and
OXfords. We know you will
be satisfied.
Only to be had OF US in this
city.
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15
DR.. Humphreys

Specifics act directly upon the disease,
without exciting disorder in other parts
of the system. They Cure the Sick.
40. CURES. PRICES.
i-Fevers. Congestions, Infiammations. .25
2-Worms. Worm Fever. Worm Coc... .25
3-Teething. Collie, Crying. Wakefulness rs
A-Diarrhea. of Children or Adults. rs
7-Coughs. Colds, Bronchitis ............. rs
S-Neuraigia. Toothache, Faceache..... rs
9-Heada che. Sick Headache. Vertigo. .25
10-Dyspepsin. Indigestion, Weak Stomach. 25
11-suppressed or Painful Periods. rs
12-Whites. Too Profuse Periods ........ .25
13-CrOup, L8ryngitis. Hoarseuess. .23
14-saIt Rheum. Erysipelas, Eruptons. .25
15-Rheumatism. Rheumatic Pains. -. rs
16-Maiaria, Chills, Fever and Ague 49,. rs
19-Catnrrh. Influenza, Cold In the Head rs
20-WhOOping-Co ugh Observation-Disclosures. rs
27-kfdney Olsen SEES ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. ID
2S-NervOus Debility. ...-...,...=s.....,1.0 90
3O-urinnry Weakness. Wettlng Bed. rs
77-Grip. Hay Fever .#.............4#.# ..... rs
DR.. Humphreys Manual OF all Diseases at your
Druggists or Mallei Free.
Sold by druggists. or sent on receipt OF price.
Humphreys Med. Co. Cor William l Jonn Sts.,
New York
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15
Get the
Genuine!

Don't be fooled by the Gust
as good" when you've made
up your mind to try "Jenness
Miller" Shoes.
Remember this one fact,
that appearances are some.
times deceptiye.'
Other shoes may resemble
the lannon's
The Somerset reporter., 1899-06-15
JoHN$;!e!4!;s'L|N|!4!!!l:!H!'!!5!:!::||

Dropped on sugar 1t is pleasant to take for collie,
cramps cholera -Inorbus, all summer complaints,
pains In the stomach. bowels or Kidneys For bites,
burns, bruises, sunburn, sprains or strains y Is
the sovereign cure All who use 1t are amazed at
Ats power and are loud in Its praise for ever after
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-01-18
Chicago nedical Institute, Topeka, Kansas.

rapid transit automobiles, otherwise the
convenience and low price which will
follow the introduction of these car
riaSes will cut heavily into the receipts
of the street railway company.
1t is even now proposed to establish
licensed automobiles, which are to run
with some regularity to different parts
of the city, and which will have advant-
age over the street cars with ability to
land passenger at his own door, and it
is asserted that this service can be
profitably performed at a rate of fare
not exceeding 10 cents.
The use of compressed air which it Is
believed will be adopted for the pro-
pulSion of the greater part of these We
hicles, has already added to fncorpor-
ate capital of this city several millions
of dollars, and the incorporation of the
auto-truck company of itself adds three
millions more of new capital, while the
impression is that within the next two
or three years the amount of capital in
vested in apparatus employing COM
pressed air for commercial purposes
may be as high as $40, 000 900. These fig
ures alone would be sufficient to Sug-
gest that this force or energy has now
been mastered by the scientists and in
VentorS in such a manner as to be capa-
BILE of vast commercial uSa, thus Gre
ating new wealth. 1t is said that the
American apparatus by which com
pressed air is utilized meets with the
same favor in other parts of the world
that all American electrical apparatus
does, and representatives Of manufac-
rope and in fact all over the eastern
hemisphere seeking markets for this
new development of science and inven-
tive skill
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-01-18
NO MONEY FOR TUBES.
Congress Does Not Favor System in
New York Postofice.

New York, Jan. 1S-The house COM
nittee on postoffices and post roads has
refused to renew the $225, 900 appropria-
ton for tubular mail service in this and
other cities and it is therefore likely
that this method of carrying letters will
be discontinued. The system has been
in operation here over a year The
house committee does not think the ex-
pertinent successful enough to justify
the large expenditure involved.
Z The company. was organized by John
E. MilhOlland, who was for some time
it's president. He resigned that office
last October, however, and his place
was taken by Howard Gould. who had
bought large interest in the company.
Mr.. Gould, it is said, was Influenced to
invest his money because he believed
a United States government contract
running four years was a good thing to
have an interest in.
Mr. Milholland said today that he
thought the action of the committee
would be revised. 1.-The company has
four years contract with the govern
ment at $225,0O0 year." he said. "Only
two years of this time have expired. I
think we may safely assume that the
government of the United States is 60
ing to live up to its contract"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-01-18
HE BOUGHT DYNAMITE.
Evidence Against "Quail Hunter p"
Kennedy of Cracker Neck.

Mansfield, Mo-, Jan. 18.-"Bilr' Ryan
alias Jennings, alias Evans, and Dutch
Weber, alias Shepherd, charged with
completely in the recent Memphis train
robbery at Macomb, Mo-, have been bound
over to the grand jury and taken to the
Springfield jail to await trial Weber
says that his home is at $40 Vine street,
The preliminary trial of John equal
Hunter'') Kennedy of Kansas City, the
alleged leader of the gang, was begun
but not concluded: He was identified as
the man who had bought the dynamite
for the robbery.
Before he had been bound over Ryan,
gang, admitted his identity. He was
Confronted by Wing Keshlear of Kansas
City, a deputy county marshal who had
helped to convict Ryan in his earlier days
replied:
years ago. am ready to quit now"
In the course of a conversation, in which
Ryan became reminiscent, he said: You
fellows wanted Jim Cummings, but you
never got him. He is in Kansas City
now under an assumed name" Cummings
was a member of the original James gang
and and, was wanted for the the \, Northfield MINI.
brothers are now serving life SENTENCES.
Bill Ryan was with the Jesse James
gang in the robbery OF a Chicago and Al,
later Ryan was arrested while drunk in
Nashville on a charge of holding up and
SG9eie shoals nte ae s Na baek 6
Independence, Mo, tried for the Glendale
robbery and sentenced to Is years in the
yhe games gang ei fr held at up 5n an
other Alton train few miles from indie
pendence. Ryan served only seven years
doned him in 1889 and gave as a reason for
it that Ryan was dying of consumption.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-01-18
JERSEY COWS DANCE.
A. Lecturer Tries to Prove the Value
of Wide Bovine Heads.

New York. Jan. 1S.-ReaI live cows.
with crumpled horns. posed on the
stage in the Young Mems Christian As
ISOLATION hall today before the New
Jersey state board Of agriculture.
1t was the first time that the sacred
precincts of the hall had ever been in
vaded by a four-footed beast of the
size of a COW, and, as the show was
free, a good many persons dropped in
from the street to listen to the lecture
of the man who had the COWS in hand,
which was for the purpose of proving
that COWS with wide heads give more
milk than those with elongated cram
iums.
The bovines didn't take kindly to the
publicity given them at first, and waltz
ed around the stage with the airs of
skirt dancers until they were anchored
to the stage with strong cables.
With a stick in his right hand and
good deal of talk the lecturer undertook
to prove that the relation between the
cows head and the milk pail was ex-
tremely close. The demonstration was
listened to quietly enough by the agri-
culturists, but the cows entered fire.
quent protests in the shape of vocal
outbursts that made the building as
well as the women tremb1e.