St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1899-08-12
DorApARr1,s buRpRr.


II wasn't born cross-eyed nor club
footed" said the man from Montana.
n he made . vicious bite at the end
of fresh cigar. land things have gone
fairly well with me in business way,
but yet there il one thing which never
comes up to me that don't feel like
committing murder. My father named
me Bonaparte. Az child / was, OF
course, called Bony, but rs soon AZ old
enough to get out into the street the
boys shortened that to Bones and
Bones I am to this day. I'm telling you
that NO man who in Bill or Joe or Tom
ever gets up in the world beyond Ger
tain point. He may be known AZ .
good fellow, but your familiarity with
his loses him your respect and you UNI
dervalue him. Let . man get nick
name after he has conquered fame and
it helps him. but people are not helping
Jacks and Jims and Petes to congress
sional honors or governorships. That
name of Bones excited ridicule and
contempt. / licked so different kids
for loading It onto me, but it stuck.
went to Sunday school and day school
rs Bones. I went to college and to
business rs Bones. II my name had
been George or Reginald or Harry peo-
pie would have considered that had
feelings, but as It was any old thing
was all right for Bones. No introduce
ton was considered necessary. Being
named Bones must be q good fellow,
~%oxnA
mony. The name kept me back at
school and college, and though l fell in
love with dozen different girls before
I was %, they all gave me the shake ON
account Of the name.
Il finally packed up and took skip
Of thousand miles for the sole purpose
of getting rid of Bones. simply used
the initial, and after three months ]
was way mp IN the new community.
1 opened . store, began to court a girl.
and the people insisted that take the
postmastership. I'd have had 1t and
probably q wife ut the same time. butt
for the advent Of one of my old &C.
quaintances. He dropped into town
and called me Bones, and it knocked
me into the middle of the last century.
Nobody had any use for man with
such name. There was no weight, mo-
dignity to It. It would have been ali
right for Digger Indian or China
man, but even the Hanks and Sans
and Abes scohed ut it. As matter Of
fact, it was = man known to every body
~ Snub-Nosed Bill who started the
move to freeze me out. In 60 days
took another jump and settled down in
4 new place. was almost Immediately
asked to run for the state senate. had
accepted, and the campaign had opened
with certainty Of my being winner
when I was given away again. ! knew
how it would be. Within "a hours ]
was asked to withdraw, and another
candidate was put up. The local papers
even tried to make 1t out that was .
villain for having played the public.
my third skip landed me in Montana.
Tim there yet. I'm Bones to every man.
woman and child for hundred miles
around. I'm Bones to my cowpuncheI
and Bones to every tramp who comes
along, and I'm given the throw-down
for no other reason. For the last
month I've been working political
racket which was designed to land me
in congress after awhile. 1t has cost me
q good deal of thought and considerable
money, and this forenoon ! was dead
sure Of success. But I'd forgotten my
hoodoo, you zee. An hour ago re
ceived this telegram from one of my
workers. See what he says: No use.
They got on to Bones, and the deal il
on IN. Y. Sun.