Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1899-05-05
POPULAR PROVERBS.
SOME THAT ARE FAIRLY BRlM-
Full OF ABSURDITY.
Maxims Often Qnoted and at Times Advanced
as Argument which Have Neither Wit nor
Wisdom to Commend Them. Contradictory

as Argument which Have Neither wit nor
Wisdom to Commend Them. Contradictory
Sayings.
There is mistaken notion abroad,
says writer in London Tit Bits, that
proverbs are epitomes of wisdom, the
concentrated experience of genera
tions, and that to quote one OF them
in discussion is to advance an unan-
swerable argument. And yet what is
there to recommend many of them be-
yond their jingle? Take our familiar
friend
Early to Bed and Early to Rise,
Makes Man Healthy, Wealthy and
Wise.-Obviously, the main idea was
to find word to rhyme with "rise," !"
and "wise" was the unfortunate word
chosen. And now, trustful little boys
are persuaded to 60 to bed at unrea-
sonably early hours in the hope of be-
coming sort OF Sandow- Rothschild-
Solomon, though we all know milk
men and market gardeners who get
up at 5 A. NJ. and are neither rich nor
clever, and members of parliame mt
who go to bed late and are, if not
clever. at least not poor end infrm.
Since the invention of gas and electric
light this ridiculous old proverb has
outlived its original modicum of truth
and proves we must not venerate
proverbs on account of their hoary an
tiquity.
! The Early Bird Catches the Worm.
The mistake made here is that it
assumes We are all birds. But some
OF us are worms. If we were not,
what would become of the birds?
And, therefore, while the birds do well
to be early, let the worms be late-the
later the better.
The Pitcher that Goes Oft to the
Well is Broken at Last.-Note, it does
not say, I" is broken first" but ais bro
ken at last" Of course, every pitcher,
whether it goes to the we'll or stays on
the shelf, is broken at last, and the
only result of this absurd proverb is to
encourage lazy folk to do rs little
work as possible and unnecessarily
keep out of harms way.
If You Want Thing Well Done,
Do 1t Yourself.-There's shocking
bad advice with which to start youth
ON life's journey. If he wants but
ton we'll sewed on, he's to do it him.
self !; If he wants his hair we'll cut, he's
to cut it himself. He must mend his
own chairs, shoe his own nag, darn his
own socks. In short, from buying a
horse to blacking his boots, he must
do it himself. Poor fellow!
A Contented Mind Is Continual
Feast.-Can any one say what that
means? Does it mean that the owner
continually feasts on his contented
mind or that the contented mind is
continually feasting? Probably the
latter, as we sometimes hear that "a
hungry mans an angry man." and we
all know that satisfied appetite is the
source of contentment. Hence it is
not the contented mind which makes
the feast, as the silly proverb implies,
but the continual feast which produces
the contented mind.
There's No Rule Without an Excep.
tion.--This is not only a proverb; it is
also rule. But obviously there is no
exception to this rule, because if there
were a rule with an exception this
proyerb would be untrue. But the
proverb is q rule which has no excep-
ton, which, as Mr.. Euclid would say,
is absurd. Which was to be shown.
Where Ignorance is Bliss, 'Tis Folly
to BE Wise.-For oracular stupidity
this prOverb may be classed with the
one about the pitcher. Granting it
true, the difficulty is to know where
ignorance is bliss and OF course the
proverb gives no assistance where it is
most needed. Most people quote it as
Ignorance is bliss" in their blissful
ignorance, but if q proverb gives rise
to error it is not only absurd; it is
also dangerous. When people say
A Little Learning is a Dangerous
Thing-They make that reason not
for learning more, but for learning
less.
Love Me. Love My Dog.-If / go
accounting, and my lady love bids me
love her scented, dyspeptic poodle,
which is not necessary to her health
and comfort, must not much more
love her glass eye and false teeth and
hair, which are? Yet common sense
revolts at the notion, and 1 therefore
assume that a proverb which, logical
ly treated, makes such unreasonable
demands on my affections, is wrong
and absurd.
Seeing Is Believing.-How can any
rejecting person repeat these words?
For very often we believe we see what
really we do not. If q conjurer were
to take this proverb as his motto,
every one would see its absurdity. A
straight stick half submerged in
water looks crooked. Fortunately,
another proverb says, "Trust not to
appearances" And this brings us to
! the exquisite absurdity of popular