The record-union., 1899-05-08

company with?'' asked the Alderman,
seeing the end in sight.
Twas NOME" exclaimed each wo-
man.
We'll, bring them both to court this
afternoon" ordered the Alderman.
| The women protested.
You wont?' said the Alderman.
then l WILL" and he issued a sub
poena for each gander, and in due time
they came in, borne by two triumphant
constables.
The Alderman ordered everybody out
to big field and the crowd that gath
cred there numbered about five hum
dred. Donohue sent the two gamblers
| to separate corners of the field, in
charge of the constables, alld he stood
with the goose in the middle of the
field, with the crowd behind him. When
all was ready His Honor released III.
goose. The disputed bird ambled slow
/ ly to one gander, examined him for a
moment, and then went over to the
other. After a few cluckings they
waddled down under the fence together
and padded into a brook.
That settles it, cried the Alderman.
Whose gander is that?''
|
constable
Case decided in prosecutors favor;
defendant will pay all COSTS" said the
Alderman. and the crowd cheered.
On another occasion twins We're born
in a family supplied by milkman with
a quart of milk a day. 1t was a re-
mote route and no other milkman went
near it. The supply of this particular
1 doc low, fl,O 70,
lily required three pints extra for the
| twins he would not supply it. The
father complained to the Alderman.
Donohue had him swear out a warrant
for the milkman. When that worthy
appeared His Honor said: You'll sup
ply that house with milk if you have
to build pipe line, or you'll deal with
me-" The milkman, rather frightened,
said he would try.
There will be no try about it, ex-
claimed Donohue. Those babies must
be fed, and, what is more, you'll make
a daily report to me that you've de-
| livered the milk And the milkman
did
THE COAL WAS SLATY.
A coal company was sued for docking
a miner on the charge that the coal
he sent to the breaker was dirty. The
coal company's lawyer claimed that the
coal was not marketable if it had more
than . per cent of slate, and the COM
pany never sold any having that
amount. The Alderman interrupted
the lawyers argument after this state
ment and sent a constable out for a
big wheelbarow full of the company S
coal and a pair of scales. When the
| coal came in it was dumped on the
floor, and the Justice, who had picked
coal in a, breaker When a boy, carefully
separated the COAL from the slate, de-
spite the protests of the lawyer that it
had nothing to do with the case.
| ''You can sing the whole opera of The
Mikado' if you like" said Donohue,
but this has very much to do with
this case. It's your turn to hedge
he said, as he piled up lot of slate
Then he weighed the slate and the COAL
You made a little mistake he said
to the lawyer; there's 81 per cent of
slate in that coal.'' Then he mounted
his bench and exclaimed: THE defend
ant will return the amount of wages
locked and pay the COSTS and if this
miner is discharged because he has
won his case-weil, there will be an
other case. I know a thing or two
about mining laws"
| At another time an aged and poverty
stricken widow was shut out of her
house by the landlord for nom payment
of rent. He put padlocks on the door.
| When the woman complained to Alder
man Donohue he hired a locksmith.
had the locks removed and sent the
woman back to her house. Then he
had the landlord arrested fined him for
trespass, made him pay the locksmith
and present the locks to the widow.
| Perhaps the most remarkable in
stance of Alderman Donohue's eccen-
tricities is the following instance, which
caused quite a Juror in the courts of
| Montana. On the night of Cleveland s
| first election to the Presidency the AL
derman was standing in front of a
newspaper office watching Cleveland
majorities being buletined He was
approached by a man and woman whom
he knew.
I'VE want you to marry us, Squire, -
said the man.
go away; don't bother me-" ex-
claimed Donohue; I'm busy
But We want to get married. Come
over to the office"
go away, will your" Donohue cried
angrily, figuring up the majorities and
calculating the amounts he'd win
The man pleaded SO persistently that
Donohue finally exclaimed:
We'll. if you want to get married.
I'll marry you right here, but not a
step I'll STIR
THAT will do" they cried, and they
were married forthwith Donohue had
no paper. so he made a record of the
marriage on the white silk lining of his
hat and forgot all about it until years
afterward. Then there came a letter
from the woman, who was in Montana.
Her husband a railroader, had been
killed; would Donohue please forward
the record Of her marriage so she could
get the insurance from the Trainmen's
Union?
Donohue was quite willing to do so,
but search through his docket failed to
reveal it. He hunted high and low for
weeks, in the meantime corresponding
with the woman, and at last he had to
give it up. The woman wrote that she
needed the money. and that she could
not get it without proof of her marri-
age. Donchue replied that he was sor-
ry, but he'd done his best.
Some months afterward he was Mt
home during the spring cleaning His
wife came to him with pile of hats.
Are these any good?" she asked. "or
shall throw them out? They've been
in the garnet for years. Donohue Sc
lected a couple as worth keeping and
brushed them. On the lining of one he
saw some writing. 1t was. the long
lost marriage record. He recalled the
circumstances of the strange wedding