The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1899-01-06
SNAP SHOTS.

And CssteIlanos WePt.
New Years calls are out Of date.
The swearofs have swornOn already,
NortOn's telephone exchange is in
operation
The railroads pay % per cent Of the
state taxes Of Kansas.
Dame Fashion has nodded her head
and the pettieoat must 60
The lay Of the helpful Kansas hen is
now worth two bits per Dozen
Scotch whisky is to be cheaper, which
bringeth joy to the lover Of the shot
drinks"
Boston has come to the rescue. It is
Eel-o-eel-O (IlOilO) in the island Of Pan
Ugh (Panayl.
Swedish doctors fix their charges
according to the ability OF their pat
tents to pay.
There we're many calls made in Good
land New Year's-bOth socially and at
the poker table.
Committing murder by mail is get
ting so common the next thing in
order viii be assassination by wire.
A Goodland woman has remarked
that q neighbOr's wife was lazy for let
ting her husband get up and build the
ere.
A Douglas county man while doing
some trading in Topeka clothing
store was locked in by mistake by the
proprietor.
An enterprising railroad man with
nothing else to do has figured that a
locomotive travelling 80 miles an hour
gives out 81, 500 puffs-
The packing houses demand that
Gen Miles eat his words, but he de-
clarss he viii neither eat his words nor
any Of their embalmed beef
As a rule men laugh and women
weep at a wedding. The fact that they
are net the principals in the affair
probably has something to do with it.
"What have you got to eat, said the
hungry man to the waiter. Every
thing was the reply. "Give me sOmeI"
be hastily exclaimed "One order OF
hash shouted the waiter.
The portrait of DR.. A. A. Shelley, rep
resentative-elect from Sherman cOun-
u, appeared in a recent Issue OF the
Topeka Mail and Breeze, as one OF
four strong men in the lover house
Conner Davies: The fellow who can't
aff8rd to buy steak for his family be-
cause it is q shilling a pound is gener-
ally the one who can tell you which
joint makes the best Tom and Jerry.
The bank commissioner has notified
the banks that In the future that list
Of the names Of those who OTerdraW
their accounts must be required to be
published with the bank statement. as
It is unlawful to OverdTsw and unlaw-
ful for the bank to permit same
A Clay county man shot his neigh
boris hog when it came over to his
place to visit and the carcass was left
where It fell. Later developments
proved that the hog had the cholera.
The germs got into the pens Of the
shooter and 800 worth Of his hogs
died.
There is no despair so deep as that
Of 8 homeless man or woman. To roam
the roads Of the country or the streets
OF the city, TO feel that there is no rod
OF ground on which the feet can rest,
to hauIt weary and hungry outside
lighted windows and hear laughter and
song Within-thess are the hungers
and rebelliOns that drive men to crime
and women to shame.-Hamlin Garland.
The uprOar was terrific. There we're
Is people talking at once. Men were
shaking their fists at one another and
women were trying to make themselves
heard by shouting. 1t was not a con-
vention OF prOhibitiOnists; neither had
they gathered together for the pur-
pose OF protesting against the seating
OF the new congressman from Utah.
Mol They had just got through play
ing whist aud, while waiting for re-
freshments, we're explaining to one an
other how more points might have
been made if their partners had not
led SIS they did.