Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1899-03-11
TRAVELLED ON A PASS.
And So He Thought HE Owned the Whole
Road.

1t brings JOY to my soul to see a
grumbler laid low remarked a
travelling man to reporter recent
ly, and when asked for the story
implied the following was related:
"We were making the run from
New York to Washington. 1t was a
fast train, in charge of an amiabl6
conductor. The porter in our car
had the patience of Job and the good
nature peculiar to fat men. There
we're no crying babies aboard, not
a single bridal couple and no COM
planning old maids. In fact, it was
an ideal travelling combination with
single exception.
In the face of this all around
comfort there was a well known
Washington man aboard who had
as much fault to find as if he were
passenger on one of the Four
teenth street cars going north at
the present writing. Nothing, suited
him, and the service and attention
he demanded proclaimed him moth
ing short of bank president or a
director Of the road. During the en-
tire run we heard nothing but COM
plants. The roadbed was uneven
as cobblestone street. There was
not thing obtainable in the dining
car fit to eat. The smoking compart-
ment was go small a man could not
stretch his legs, and so on, until
the rest of us would have willingly
endured wreck to put a quietus on
the kicker's disagreeable tongue, or
at least furnished him substantial
reason for his wholesale complain
ing.
It was a trying ordeal for his
fellow passengers, and our combined
sympathy went out to the contin-
ually abused porter The grumbler
made the atmosphere of the car
heavy with the most emphatic oaths
in the I'M Christian language and the
air was rendered dark blue by his
profane eloquence. A general prayer
Of thankfulness assembled heaven
ward when the grunbler finally
slept. We even endured his snoring
without murmur. The next morn
ing, which was Saturday, he was
the first person up, and he made
things lively in that car. Pretty
soon everybody else was up, and the
people were sitting in their seats
holding on to grips and umbrellas
ready to fly directly the train steam
ed into the station.
1.-The grumbler was being brushed
by the porter down in the front end
of the car and every movement of
the broom ia the porter's hand was
accompanied by Volley of profani-
ty At the conclusion of one of these
startling outbursts mild looking
old gentleman at the other end of
the car glanced toward the offender
and in the graVest manner drawled
out this innocent inquiry:
g Say, my brother, where do you
preach tomorrow
1.-THE humor OF the question was
appreciated by the other occupants
of the car, who foared with laugh
ter at the expense of the grumbler.
I never saw a man so completely
knocked out by chance blow. The
general amusement of the passen-
gers was too much for the grum bier
and he made the remainder of the
journey out on the platform.
Somebody asked who he was. |
The porter said he knew him we'll |
Dat man amt no account, any
how, spite of his airs and grurn-
blings. Der want muffin good nuf
for him, sure, and he was travelling
deadhead clean through. Barring
this nickle he just done glib me, /
guess he amt spent one cent on the
trip. ''-Washington Star.