davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-04-18
Humor of the Insane.

I was sitting in my office the other
day. said the superintendent of the IN
sane asylum at Parlor City, according 10
the New York Sun, when one of the na.
uents, harmless fellow, who is allowed
to have the freedom of the building and
grounds. came in, pale with indignation
and said that he had a complaint to make
What is it, your highness?' 1 said. for
II was the Prince of Wales 1 was talking
to-
" Are the rules of the palace to be oh.
served or not?' he demanded. L want 10
know whether our rules can be broken
with impunity'
" Certainly not, your highness,' 1 said;
what is az?
I was coming down the corridor this
morning. he said and in a rack on The
wall saw dozen red pals. marked For
fire only" Now, is that right or not?'
1t is 1 said. The sign is correct
Well, then, he said, John (referrine
to a Keeper must be punished. AS 1 stood
there he came along and filed the pals
with water
" He shall be executed at once said
and the Prince bowed with great serious
ness and walked out of the room
This incident illustrates a trick which
few people know anything about" con-
tinued the superintendent That is that
there is more unconscious humor about a
lot of lunatics than there is genuine hui
NOR among sane people. Some of the
things that my patients say and do are
funnier than any of the things l read or
hear from the outside world I tell YOU
life isn't so prosaic as you'd think in an
insane asylum"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-04-18
Ii Hung Chang so Patriot.

Il regret to say that I may nave to
shatter a possible American idea," says
Admiral Lord Charles Beresford, according
to the New England Magazine. Iii Hung
Chang is no patriot. He is nothing but a
selfish old millionaire, anxious to make
money at the expense of his country's
ruin.
1t doesn't make any difference what
his political sympathies are, whether he is
the friend of Russia or England He is
cipher, without Office and will out in
1uence.
His successor as Viceroy of Chile is
Jung Lu, now the diplomat of highest rank
in the empire. He is friendly TO the open
door, though il be held open with the
iron hand. The Emperor of China is still
alive reports of his assassination to the
contrary Notwithstanding. He was a re-
former, but he tried to reform too fast
Y gu can't alter the system Of 1900 years
In few months and, as he tried, he was
asked to step down. The Dowager EN-
press, who has been a power in Chinese
palace politics for two generations, rules
as regent In the name of the Emperor"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-04-18
THE sECuRITY MARKET.

The question is being very generally
asked in the money centers whether the
present high prices of securities, especial
ly those which are now selling for more
than what they seem to be instrinsically
worth, can be maintained for any consid-
cradle length of time. A week or so ago
there was a pretty bad break in the stock
market, owing to the refusal of the banks
10 loan any more money on what are
called industrials. The banks, it seems,
had come 90 the conclusion that they had
loaned all the money on those stocks they
| cared to risk on them. About all the
stocks, however, have regained what they
lost, and now. among spectators. the
question is, will another, and even worse
break come soon.
1t Is undoubtedly true that there are
now stocks dealt in on the stock exchanges
which are selling for more than they are
worth. There are stocks bringing more
than their par value which have never
yet paid dividend. The hope is that
they win be dividend-paying stocks as
soon as certain combinations of properties
which they represent can be completed. In
other words. the high prices of these
stocks are purely speculative.
There are several reasons therefore for
thinking that at no very distant day there
will be a downward movement in prices
The movement may not be caused by a
panic and may not produce a panic, but
it is pretty certain that the present high
prices cannot be maintained very much
longer.
One reason for this view Is that the limit
of high prices has about been reached
When spectators become convinced that
prices are not likely 70 go higher they will
want to unload because it is expensive to
carry stocks on margins. When they be-
gin to sell, and buyers are not plentiful.
prices win drop rapidly. Another reason
for thinking that lower prices may soon
be expected is that a boom market sell
dom lasts very long, and high prices are
succeeded by low prices. 1t is true there
is nothing at present to justify the opin-
ion that a fall in prices is close at hand.
except the furry a few days ago. show
ing how really weak the speculative stocks
are, but that is sufficient to indicate that
any disturbance in the financial affairs OF
the country would be followed by a heavy
drop in the prices of that class Of stocks.
Railroad stocks will no doubt command
fair prices as dong as the roads show good
earnings, and they are likely to do that
as long as the country Is reasonably pros
porous. but even these stocks are. in
many instances, higher than they should
be. As soon as the speculative fever is
over il is probable that they win show a
tendency TO drop to a permanent invest
ment basis. one thing is certain, and
THAI is that those who are buying the
speculative stocks with the expectation
that they will go much higher before
showing a decline are Likely to be disap-
pointed.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-04-18
victorin,s BeneroIence.

The Queen has given two additional in
stances Of her womanly feeling this week
which have made a very pleasing impress
sion in Southern France. relates a cable
dispatch. While out driving at the be-
ginning OF the week she overlook a peas
ants walking funeral. and had no room
60 pass The mourners stopped and stood
aside, but the Queen requested the cor
tege to proceed. and her own carriage fol-
lowed respectfully at a walking pace for
half mi.e, until the roads diverged.
Again, while driving through Nice on
Wednesday, the Queen passed a child
which was crying bitterly. She ordered
her carriage to be stopped and sent a
member of her suite 20 inquire the cause
OF the child's distress and to give it a few
coins, which had a magical effect. The
httle face frightened up and the Queen
drove on, smilingly remarking:
AS long as nothing serious is the mat
ter, 1 thought few sous would make the
little one happy"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-04-18
Personal.

Admiral Sohley was brought up on a
farm, and his inclinations have always
been toward such life. At one time he
bought ranch in Wyoming, and seriously
thought of giving up the navy
Maj. James NJ. Pollard, who died in
Washington the other day, was consider
ed the best authority on explosives in the
service of the government. AT Wimble-
DON England, he once made the world S
record for long-distance rife shooting.
Richard Croker now wears clothes
made in England almost exclusively. One
of the suits he bought from that country
proved 10 be uncomfortably tight when
he wore it a few evenings ago, and he
remarked to some friends at the New
York Democratic Club. "Well. Mr.. Gro
kerr" said one of them rather sharply
you are a bigger man here than you are
In London" The Tammany boss laughed
more loudly than any other person pres
emit
One g 'ening recently the Queen of It
ally, accompanied by her mother, the
Duchess of Genoa, witnessed one of Ere
COILS performances, in the course of which
he carried out the audacIous idea of imi-
tatlng King Hunbert 10 the strains Of
the Royal March. AS usual, Fregol's
imitation was so good That not only the
public, but the Queen and the Duchess of
Genoa also were convulsed with laugh
ter. The audience, recognizing her maj
esty's good sense. rose TO its feet and
gave ner majesty an ovation which must
have been convincing proof that the
evenings amusement lad not affected its
lOvaltV
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-04-18
A Parrot Story,

A parrot that had grown old and gray
and wicked was the property of a man
who was delighted by the birds uncanny
speeches. and yet was often annoyed by
their rudeness, says the Cleveland Plain
Dealer. One day the rector of the parish
came to cali on the owner, and the bird
happened to be in the room. The pastor
was short, fat man, with a smooth face,
clerical coat and white tie.
For time the bird was quiet, but sud
denly, after some personal experience re-
lated by the clergyman, the wretched
creature squawked out, "Oh, what a liep'
OF course, Polly was punished. and Sc
verely, too. and for a time seemed to
mend her wicked ways.
One day friend of the family from
out of town came to make a visit. As
soon as he caught sight of Polly he al
once tried to make friends with her. He
was short. fat man, with a smooth face
and Polly looked at him with her head
cooked on one side in a decidedly wicked
fashion.
But she didn't say a word.
Finally he turned away, and then that
naughty parrot shrieked after him:
You can't catch me, YOU old fool
Where's your white necktie?"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-04-18
MHAT wAs GOMEz,s MEANING.


In MS address to the military chiefs OF
the Cuban army the other day, when he
accepted from them the trust to superin-
tend the payment and disarmament Of the
! Cuban troops. Gen. Gomez said: we must
recognize that the only power in Cuba is
the power Of those who have iHtervened.
and therefore. for the present thoughts
Of a Cuban Independent government can
he no more than dreams"
/ This would seem 10 Indicate that in the
! opinion of Gen. Gomez it viii be a long
! time before the Cubans viii have control
I Of their own political affairs. He must
! have meant that or else he was talking at
! random. 1t may be a year or two before
| il will be possible to inaugurate plan for
establishing an independent government
| and couple of years more before Il will
| be advisable to let the people have entire
control Of their own affairs, but Gomez,
when he tells the Cuban chiefs that they
must not even dream of Cuban independ-
ence at present, seems TO have the idea
that Cuba win be subjected to many years
OF military rule. Otherwise there could
be no objection to their INDUCING in
dreams OF a republic.
1t is doubtful if there Is anywhere IN
this country a desire 10 rule Cuba with the
military arm for any considerable length
of time The people don't want military
rule TO last any longer than is absolutely
necessary TO bring about a condition Of
affairs that will permit of the establish
ment Of stable and enlightened govern
ment They prefer that the Cubans shall
be given control of their affairs al once If
they can demonstrate their fitness for the
trust, Sc they are to have an independent
government.
It is probable that a majority would like
10 see the island annexed 10 this country,
but no opposition will be raised to allow
Ing the Cubans to set up a government of
their own. What Gomez had in mind prob
ably is that there is so much opposition In
Cuba to an independent government that
a government of that kind will necessarily
be delayed. 1t is a fact that the great
majority of those who have property and
business interest in the island are against
Cuban government. They want annex
alton. The reason is that they want
strong and stable government at once.
They understand very wen that at present
the Cubans could not uphold the law and
maintain peace and order. In fact. many
OF them doubt that self-government is pos
sible in Cuba. Their influence therefore
will be against any movement looking to
the removal of American troops from the
island at an early day. And there ara
reasons for thinking that the longer the
establishment of republic is put off the
stronger the sentiment in favor of annex
alton will become. 1t is not improbable
that Gomez had that view Of the situation
also in mind when he advised them to
waste no time in dreams of republic in
the immediate future. The fact that the
Cuban chiefs received what he said with
out protest indicated that they didn't re-
gard the outlook for the early establish
ment of a republic as very promising.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-04-18
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

Meetings-Savannah Lodge No 1s3. b.
p o. Elks; Lafayette McLaws Camp No
BOG, U. c. V; Calanthe Lodge No. Is, X
of P.
Special Notices-Groceries at Cost
Shearouse, Hutchinson & Co; Notice of
Closing, Charles Marks; Some Low Priced
Canned Goods A. NJ. & c. W. West; Ship
Notice, Strachan Co, Consignees; Mems
Clothing, Leopold Adler; Notice of Disco
luton. Joel Bros.
Business Notices-E. & W. Laundry;
The Prettiest Girl in Town Rides a Ster-
ling Wheel R. D. & VIM. baltimore.
New Departure-Leopold Adler.
ts-Barlow- Baker Stock Com
pany. at Theater Thursday. Friday and
Benefit to Manager David A. Weis by the
Hogan's Alley Company, April 10. at The
ater.
Roofing Paper. Etc.-Palmer Hardware
Company.
Condensed Nink-Gan Borden's Condens-
ed Milk
Postum Cereal Conee-Postum Cereal
Company.
Medical-Johann Hon's Genuine Malt
Extract; Hoods sarsaparilIa; S. S. s.; DR..
Slocum; Erie Medical Company; Casio
ria; Worlds Dispensary Preparations;
Ayers sarsaparilla; Cuticura Remedies.
Cheap Column Advertisements
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent;
For Sale; Lost Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-04-18
- MoKNING NEWs IS publlshed

Tho MORNING NEWS is published
every day in the year. and is served to
subscribers in the city. or sent b. mail,
vi $40 a month, 500 for six months, and
UO.oO for one year.
The MORNING NEWS. by mail, six
dmes 2 week without Sunday issue.
three months. $50; six months, $780, one
year, $50.
The WEEKLY NEWS, Issues week,
Monday and Thursday, BY mail one year
sl.OO.
Subscriptions payable in advance. Remit
by postal orders, check or registered let
ter. Currency sent by mail at risk OF
senders.
Transient Advertisements. other than
special column, local or reading notices,
amusements and cheap or want column, 10
cents a line. Fourteen lines Of agate
type-equal to one inch square in depth
is the standard of measurement. Con
tract rates and discounts made known on
applca ton at business office.
Orders for delivery Of the MORNING
NEWS to either residence or place OF bust
ness may be made by postal card OF
through telephone No. 30. ANY Irregular
fly In delivery should be Immediately re-
ported to the Office of publication.
Letters and kilograms should be ad~
Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE o Park Row, New
York city. C. S. Faulkner. Manager.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-04-18
oEE or VA. nnYAN,s sTATEMENTs.

| ONE OF MR.. Bit1AN'S SIAIEhENI>'
one Of the statements made by Mr.. Bry-
/ an. IN the speech which he delivered at
the Dollar Jehersouian dinner in New
! York last Saturday night. could hardly
! have made ri nds for the Chicago plat
form among the class Of people who were
at the dinner, and the class Of people
! they represented. The understanding is
that people present were mainly working
| people or representatives of working peo-
pie. They were interested in labor rath-
er than the products OF labor. In the
course Of his speech Mr.. Bryan. referring
to the Democrats. is reported TO have
said: why did We oppose the gold stand
ard? Becase it has raised the purchas-
ing power Of dollar and lowered the
price of the products of labor"
It Is admitted that voters in casting
their ballots are largely controlled by
self interest. That being the case why
should workingmen-the men who work
for wages and salaries-vote against the
gold Standard 1t is a notorious fact that
wages are not lower now than they were
when the mints were open to the free and
unlimited coinage Of silver. For many
kinds Of labor there has been a pretty
steady Increase in the price. Salaries and
wages. on an average. are better now than
they were fifty years ago. and recently a
great many factories have increased the
wages of their operatives.
II, as Mr.. Bryan says. the gold standard
ha haa fr,uv Of
a dollar and lowered the price of the prod
ucts OF labor-such things, for instance
as food and ciothing-why should any wage
Garner ind fault with the gold standard?
That is a question which wage earners
in all parts of the country would like to
have Mr. Bryan answer.
If the Democratic party is to win In the
election of 1900 it must have a pretty big
share of the vote of those who receive
wages and salaries. 1t will get a big
share of those votes in the event that 1t
reaffirms the Chicago platform, provided
Mr. Bryan and other Democratic leaders
convince them that the gold standard OPP
crates against their interest. But to con-
vince them, must not a statement respect
ing the effect of the gold standard differ
ent from that made by Mr.. Bryan at the
dollar dinner in New York be made? The
men who work for wages and salaries are
anxious that the dollar they receive shall
have the greatest possible purchasing pow
er and they do not complain when the
prices of the products OF labor fall. They
want to get the necessaries of life as
cheaply as possible.
We cannot see. therefore, how Mr.. Bry-
ans statement respecting the effect Of
the gold standard will make votes for the
Democrats, if they insist upon the 16 to
l idea of the Chicago platform. II may
be that he can show how that standard
is against their interests, if, as he says,
| it increases the purchasing power of a dol
lar and lowers the price of the products
of labor. If he can. he ought to do so,
because 1t as probable a great many Dem
ocrats who are wage earners are already
| inquring about II.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-04-18

Senator Clark of Montana. who is at
present IN Paris, is astonishing and de-
lighting the artists and art dealers by
his lavish purchases of pictures. 1t is said
that the senator has spent 100000 for
paintings already during his present visit
He is credited, by the way. with being an
sdept IN picture buying and art criticism
Some dealers have tried to sell him copies
q pictures, but he has been quick to de-
tect The copy Of the original; and 1t IS
tae original that he wants every time. or
BE- VIII have none.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-04-18

Delmonicos famous restaurant at the
corner of Fifth avenue and Twenty-sixth
street, New York, was closed last night
The establishment does not cease to exist,
of course. but merely moves further up
town, to make room for the constant en-
croachment of the commercial element
'Defs" old place was probably the most
famous restaurant in the United States.
Pretty nearly all of the great men of this
country of late years and many distin-
guished foreigners have been entertained
there.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-04-18

i-acn state is 70 be represented in the
navy by a splendid snip bearing its name.
why should not each state be represented
IN the regular army by a regiment bearing
i'A name IN European countries the reg
ihen's' or some Of them, bear the names
OF 'he sections from which they ere ro-
erulted' thus the men are TO a decree
identified with their homes. and nave local
piiHe as wei ass patriotism to animate and
iain them. ~ something of The same
sor' were adopted IN our regular army. the
army would ROT oc So completely spar,
from tne people. ana local Interest would
strengthen the military spirit Under tbe
present system. The Georgia boy who en-
~" with the regulars Immediately loses
"a Identity ana the stimulus OF r,,,.
ii''e. 2. be- were 1s.iened To- tho "F.-.,
Georgia heeuara," he woui4 no do,b,
i'ri teiir satisfied ana render beuer
ter4ae.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-04-18
More Lines to Spring.
From the Baltimore America

From the Baltimore American
Hello Spring!
Did you bring
Your trunk
Or did you simply grab a chunk
OF Summer and come to pay
Us visit, Ell?
Saw
If you've come TO stay
Wen be yelling for frappe
Weather in about another dayi
It's real mean TO act this way;
You shouldn't stray
Into town so abruptly and get gay
When we are winter-shod-nay!
This business of giving us May
All of a sudden makes us hot
Around the collar-that's what!
G. Scott!
We never thought
You'd trot
Out lot
OF humidity so soon You ought
Not
To do it, Spring.
Is it your purpose to make us fling
Our flannels away and then strew
A few
Freezes
In the breezes,
So that we can shake
And ache
And moan
And groan
And fret
And get
The pneumoneyeeh?
Is it your plan to weigh
Out a few thousand pounds of heat,
And then beat
A retreat,
90 let a blizzard biz
The giz
Out Of us ?-oh, Spring.
You are such dreadful thing!
Smiling blandly, you bring
Summer around and before we can say
How dyer away
Goes
Summer, and the SHOWS
or Winter fall upon our outstretched hand
You're grand
Old humbug-that's what you be,
Seel Hobart.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-04-18

The claims of Dewey and his officers
and men for prize money have been filed.
Should the Court of Claims allow the
claims as presented Dewey would receive
something like $4,000 as his share. There
is, however, a question as to whether or
not he met and vanquished a superior or
an inferior force. In the former instance,
he would get double the amount of prize
money as in the latter instance. And then,
too, there is question regarding whether
or not the Spanish ships that he sunk and
afterwards raised and put into commission,
should be regarded as prizes as well as
craft destroyed. in the settlement.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-04-18

The Chicago Times-Herald learns that
President Mckinley contemp,ates making
en- appeal TO the volunteers in the Phil
ippines 10 continue n the service another
six months if necessary. He recognizes,
1t is said that the men have the right
under their enlistment to demand dis
charge, now that peace with Spain has
been proelaimed: but the President
viii put il before the volunteers
as matter OF national honor
whether they VIII quit now. with
American supremacy menaced, or il
they will continue in the ranks until the
national purpose has been achieved Hav-
ing presented the proposition in that light,
the President will permit each man to de-
eide for himself. Should the volunteers
decide to quit and come home, the war in
the Philippines would be extended over
longer period of time. in all probability,
but the final outcome would be the same.
Should direct appeal TO they patriotism
be made the probabilities are that a great
many Of them would re-enlist for six
months. as the President desired.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-04-18

The mere rumor that Reed is to retire
from Congress has flushed a whole
covey of possible candidates for the
speakership among them being Sher-
man Of New York, Grosvenor of Ohio,
Hopkins of Illinois, Hepburn of Illinois,
and several others. Any one of those
mentioned might indeed take Reeds
place, but none of them could I'LL 1t.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-04-18

The Presbytery of Boston has refused
to make total abstinence from tobacco a
condition precedent TO ordination in the
case of young licentiates under it's care,
and of elders-elect.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-04-18

Sir Henry Irvius's new play Robes
pierre" is said TO be extremely harrow
ing Then Sir Henry must have been at
his best la playing a. Those who saw him
10 'The Betsy In this city a year or two
ago VIII remember the occasion pretty
much az % IL were a lobster salad night
mare suffered IN al insane asylum.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-04-18

The new Americas cup defender has
been given a good name. Columbia" is
euphonious, patriotic and satisfying. 1t
is business-llke name there is nothing
weak or childish about it. 1t is far bet
ter than the name of any flower 1t had
been suggested that the craft should be
called "Goldenrod," or "Columbine," or
something of that sort. because the chal-
lenger is to be the Shamrock" Now,
Shamrock means something for an
Irish boat; but no plant or flower has spe-
cial significance in America. We take
them all in. 1t is to be hoped that the
Columbia" will prove to be the gem
of the ocean," and that next October she
will pluck the Shamrock for her cor
sage.