The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-04-17
Topics Of
the T own

"'iA pNAo "SlS loO DuSS " ldih. Iue
waiting bench was full of Saturday
night customers and the porter stood
In the middle of the room wearing the
air OF proprietor of one-ring cir
Gus. In stalked a. long haired, big
boy from the ranch. He inquired Of
first chair: DO you cut hair here?"
ana received polite affirmative. Then
he took the seat of man who had Just
stretched himself out on a recliner to
be operated upon. The porter hand
ed the young man a copy of the Po-
lice Gazette and the young man went
to work on the illustrated pages. He
finally lodged on a pictorial account
of wholesale hanging bee in the South
and was soon oblivious of all that sur
rounded him. He read about the out
RACES, the lynching and then cast his
eyes on the dangling forms depending
from railroad trestle. 1t was deep
study IN ink. He wondered if such
things were actually a part of civiliza-
ton and in his own mind he marveled
at the awfulness of it all. A look of
horror spread all over his strawberry
complexion and there was pity in his
eyes. He read the sensational and
graphic description of the hanging of
three men. and just as he absorbed the
concluding paragraph of the intensely
interesting narrative, one of the bar
bers motioned to him, saying, You're
next"
mot by CAD blasted sight, smarty.
I never done nothin' like that" And
the barber was carried out into the
fresh air.
Some women know so very much that
they regard as utterly useless the task
Of thinking, depending wholly upon
their instinct to guide them safely
along any path they choose to take.
The other night a woman living up
stairs in large block on Park street
filled her three lamps with gasoline
Just because the gasoline happened to
be in can that resembed coal oil
can The coal oil can stood alongside
OF the gasoline can, but as the woman
was positive in her own mind that she
could not make a mistake, she took
the oil from the can that her infaili-
Bile instinct directed her to take it
from. 1t happened that a policeman
happened along and happened to in
form the woman of the mistake that
her instinct had happened to make
and told her that something would hap
pen if she happened to apply a match
to one of the lamps. 1t happened that
the woman listened to good advice and
the next thing that happened was the
emptying of the lamps. TT was lucky
for her that I happened along that
night" said the vigilant cop.
1t pays to be square, even with the
tickle slot machine. Last night GUS
toner dropped a nickel in the slot and
flashed up four clubs. The customer
called the cigar mans attention to his
game and said that he would try to
bring up another club in the center
row. He dropped his nickel and UP
came the club in the center row. 1t
was the ace of clubs and there were
also two other aces in the bunch. The
cigar man repudated, claiming that
the customer designated the end row.
The flush entitled the player to five
cigars. A controversy arose, and fin
ally the cigar man agreed to give the
customer his nickel back. This was
done and column Of rag was chewed
Ihen the customer said that he would
try it again and the cigar man looked
on. The nickel slid down the hole and
up flashed royal fiush-1O0 cigars
Mr.. Customer took two boxes of the
best bit cigars in the house and re-
tired, and the cigar man kicked his
dog out into the street.
Recently a party of tourists from
the East visited one of the big mines
I'LL lliV llIll. Hl6H anu women
were shown the great boilers and hoist
ing engines, the ore bins and the other
things which strike the average tour
list as being strikingly out of place.
1t was the noon hour and the visitors
saw large cageful of miners emerge
from the depths.
Indeed, do they provide elevators
for the workmen? calculated one
of the women.
More than that" interposed one of
the men, they are furnished with
steam heating facilities. See the steam
pipes going down to the e mbers"
And hot and cold water, added an
other surprised man as he noted the
big water columns.
DO the men sleep in those cham
bers?" asked a brown-eyed miss of
the foreman who FASTENED to reply:
mot if they think the shift boss is
around" And the little miss turned
away with a panied look of misunder-
standing of the whole situation. She
got back at the foreman as they all
stood on the dump and viewed the sur
rounding scenery by suggesting:
anyway, it would have been more
your mines down on the level ground,
instead of away up here in these al
most inaccessible heights"
The restaurant man in Butte who
inaugurates a perpetual system Of
completely cutting the slices of bread
from the loaf is going to erect over
his grave a marble shaft 40 cubits high.
1t is not an uncommon sight to witness
a struggle between man and an
elastic loaf of bread that has been
partly severed into slices. The knife
goes two-thirds of the way through
the loaf; the customer is required to
break off the slices as his appetite sug-
gests. 1t is a tedious operation, and as
stated, the restauranteur who makes
a speciality of severing bread in slices
is sure of any office to which he may
aspire.
The next bazaar that comes off in
Butte will probably make a special
feature of killing on the spot the big
rutfian who delights to step on every
woman's feet in the room just because
there happens to be a crowd. Some
men who visited the fair last week
seemed to forget that they 'ere SUP
posed to be human and possessed with
a conscience. In the jam they avinCed
a bout as much regard for a woman as