The Republican journal., 1899-06-08

belonged to myself since l am yours,
whether you will have me or no. | can
not forget you for even a moment
know that 1 can make you happy. You
cannot live with only shadows Do not
mourn the past any longer, Hope and love
are not dead. Trust in me-
mo, no, cannot.' cried Pamela. 81
am not fit to be your wife, There was
something in her eyes, passionate misery
in her voice, that came as revelation to
him.
He caught her hands and drew her
towards him. pamela, you love men'
he cried, eAultantly. Tell me; confess. ="
Eyes, | love you, in a choking voice
II loved you always, even in the days
when you never looked at the poor, shabby
girl as she passed by
why, then you are mine-mine - he
cried, in triumph How happy you
make me. Even when l thought you were
worshipping memory You loved me. Oh,
then what becomes of the lover the
phantom lover? But then, THAT is an
other story. as Kipling says. just now
our own story is most interesting. Why,
it seems that ! never saw you in the old
days, OF else YOU
Have suffered sea change
Into something new and strange.
''lt-is the dress" said Pamela, in a
low, melancholy voice.
"Oh, absurd, If you came as beggar
maid, you would illumine rags with youI
beauty. | should be like King Cophetua.
\ on remember
In robe and gown the king stepped down > -
Pamela heart beat like a prisoner as
saulting the walls. II do not deserve that
You should look at me. | am not fit to
speak toto anyone who has spark OF
honor in them. | am a fraud-the mean
est kind Of a fraud | ought to hide my
face from you-from every one. | ought
to 90 into a nuunery"' and she began to
sob again.
A very strange and unpleasant chill be
gan to creep down syduey's spinal col
umn. Something clutched at his heart
till it commenced to beat painfully and
slow. Was Pamela a woman with a past ?
But she had confessed that she had never
loved anyone else.
Tell NE ali, DEAR be said. You are
exaggerating some tritle. l absolve you
beforehand. You couldn't do anything
that | wouldn forgive, except love one
better than myself-and that you have
told me you have never done. There,
now, | will hold your hand to give you
courage; go on, darling"
The tears trembled in her long eye
lashes. They were not unbecoming, sgd
ney thought. She did not look at him. 1t
seemed as if she could not meet his eye
but she made an effort to speak calmly
Il have lied to you,'' she said 81 have
lied to every one. l will tell you all about
it-this is the hardest part of all. could
bear that the whole world should despise
me, if you did not"
sHave courage, l shall not change"
he murmured.
.sYou remember when you dragged me
out of the mill pond two years ago? /
had gone beyond my depth after water
lilies. You were my hero from that time
| thrilled with pain whenever l thought of
the spectacle that l must have been in that
old red calico)dripping with mud. l longed
SO to be pretty in your eyes. | suffered
agony when | saw you with the other girls
in their charming gowns. | had never
owned anything pretty in my life. l
thought my shabby clothes disguised me.
l felt that you would have looked at me if
/ had been dressed like the others. I was
SO miserable. l was glad to go away,
though it was to sort of mental place to
wait on a rich, miserly woman. l could
not take even my wages for dress, l had
to send it to my poor mother. AS for
presents, Mrs. Sckles never gave me but
one, and that was the black crepe dress"
what a very remarkable present. OBJ
served Sydney, vaguely.
perhaps she thought it might be use
full to my mother, | don't know. 1t saved
her making me any other parting gift. 1t
was hateful in her sight. She had order
ed it in her first grief as a widow, when
she was reckless of expense. Belechose
of Paris overcharged her, SO she said. She
refused to pay the bill, and there was a
lawsuit By the time the suit was settled
against her, and she was obliged to take
the gown and pay the bills, she had passed
out of the crepe period of her grief and
was wearing lavender. When she con-
templated a second marriage the dress
to me. 1t was marvel of elegance, and
fitted me perfectly. had never been well
dressed in my life, and sol was tempted.
| had to invent the lover to account for
the gown. l longed to look well in your
eyes," her voice broke; ''but when you
seemed to begin to care for me, l grew
more miserable. l was living lie. The
black crepe gown darkened all the world
for me- 1t shut out from me all bright
ness l seemed to look at everything
through fold of black crepe: Oh, did
not know how hard it would be for me
when l began! Now, Sydney, bid me
good by and go-you cannot want me for
for your wife!'
''But do" he cried, holding her fast.
''You are in my heart, and 1 cannot cast
you out. 1 would not if I could. You
have repented and confessed. That is all
we poor sinners can do. Who am that
l should judge you? love you! Moth
ing that you can say will alter that!