St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1899-10-04
,raying and talking with a little group

evangelist with personal helplessness
that made it as impossible for him to
leave them as if they had been depend
ing upon him to save them from phys
ical death. Among these converts was
Rollin Page.
Virginia and her uncle had gone
home about II o'clock, and Rachel and
Jasper Chase had gone with them as
far as the avenue where Virginia lived.
DR.. West had walked on little way
with them to his own house, and Rachel
and Jasper had then gone on together
to her mothers.
That was little after II. 1t was
now striking midnight and Jasper
Chase sat in his room staring at the pa
pers on his desk and going over the last
half hour with painful persistence.
He had told Rachel Winslow of his
love for her, and she had not given her
love in return.
1t would be difficult to know what
was most powerful in the impulse that
had moved him to speak to her tonight.
He had yielded to his feelings without
any special thought of results to him
self because he had felt SO certain that
Rachel would respond to his love for
her. He tried to recall now just the i'm
preston she made on him when he first
spoke to her.
Never had her beauty and her strength
influenced him as tonight. While she
was singing he saw and heard no one
else. The tent swarmed with confused
crowd of faces, and he knew he was
sitting there hemmed in by mob of
people, but they had no meaning to
him. He felt powerless to avoid speak
ing to her. He knew he should speak
when they were once alone.
Now that he had spoken he felt that
he had misjudged either Rachel or the
opportunity He knew, or thought he
did, that she had begun to care for him
1t was no secret between them that the
heroine of Jasper's first novel had been
his own ideal of Rachel, and the hero
of the story was himself, and they had
loved each other in the book and
Rachel had not objected No one else
knew. The names and characters had
been drawn with subtle skill that re-
vealed to Rachel, when she received a
copy Of the book from Jasper the fact
of his love for her. and she had not been
offended. That was nearly year ago
Tonight Jasper Chase recalled the
scene between them, with every infec-
ton and movement INCREASED from his
memory. He even recalled the fact that
he began to speak just at that point on
the avenue where few days before he
had met Rachel walking with Rollin
Page. He had wondered at the time
what Rollin was saying.
"Rachel, Jasper had said, and it
was the first time he had ever spoken
her first name, II never knew until to-
night how much l love you. Why
should try to conceal any longer what
you have seen me look? You know l
love you as my life. can no longer
hide it from you if would"
The first intimation he had Of re-
fusal was the trembling of Rachel's arm
in his own. She had allowed him to
speak and had neither turned her face
toward him nor away from him. She
had looked straight on, and her voice
was sad, but firm and quiet. when she
spoke
"Why do you speak to me now3
cannot bear it-after what we have
seen tonight ="
"Why-what' - he had stammered
and then was silent.
Rachel withdrew her arm from his,
but still walked near him.
Then he cried out with the anguish
Of one who begins to see a great loss
facing him where he expected great
joy.
"Rachell Do you not love me9 Is
not my love for you as sacred as any
thing in all of life itself2"
She had walked on silent for few
steps after that They had passed a
street lamp. Her face was pale and
beautiful He had made a movement to
clutch her arm, and she had moved a
little farther from him.
mo, she had replied. "There was
a time-I cannot answer for that. You
should not have spoken to me tonight.
He had seen in these words his an
swer. He was extremely sensitive.
Nothing short of joyous response to
his own love would have satisfied him.
He could not think Of pleading with
her.
"Some time, when l am more wor-
thy9" he had asked in low voice, but
che did not seem to hear, and they had
parted at her home, and he recalled
wildly the fact that no good night had
been said
Now as he went over the brief but
significant scene he lashed himself for
his foolish precipitancy. He had not
reckoned on Rachels tense, passionate
absorption of all her feeling in the
scenes at the tent which were SO new
in her mind. But he did not know her
well enough even yet to understand the
meaning of her refusal. When the clock
in the First church steeple struck l, he
was still sitting at his desk, staring at
the last page Of manuscript Of his un
finished novel
Rachel Winslow went up to her room
and faced her evenings experience with
conflicting emotions. Had she ever
loved Jasper Chaser Yes-no. One mo-
ment she felt that her life's happiness
was at stake over the result of her &C.