The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1899-05-05
A Clever Set.

and really deserving most of it, too In
fact, he is really a clever fellow in many
ways and often surprises his friends with
the diversity of his talents.
They all believe in him except his wife,
She's like the valet in the familiar aphor-
hero So she laughs at his nonsense,
and punctures his wit, and makes him
feel as much as possible, TO quote his own
expression. like 30 cents"
Wen, the East Ender has a great hk-
Ing for amateur entertainments, and is
quite clever actor and mimic. Some
time ago, he, in company with a friend,
began the preparation Of vaudeville
character act. OF course he told his wife,
and she, as usual, laughed at his histrionic
pretensions.
Everybody will see through your dis
gUiSe," she said, "and you'll just be
general laughing stock
I'm chance it," said George, and he
went on with his rehearsals.
One day last week his wife was busy
with her housekeeping, and had emptied
half the contents Of the attic into the
basement. George didn't like houseclean-
ipg-strange to say-and so he made as
early a start for the office as possible.
His wife called good-by 10 him from the
furnace cellar, and a moment later she
l6dIQ the front door SIAM
1t might have been fifteen minutes af-
ter this that a form darkened the out
side doorway of the basement. The mis-
tIess of the house looked up and saw
it was an old gray beard in a decidedly
obsequious way as he advanced with his
rough bag.
ANY oldt garments today, ma'am? I
pay der highest market brice, so helb me,
said the stranger.
why, yes" said the lady, 'I have some
old garments right here. What do you
pay?"
1T depends on vat 1t ees." said the
stranger. I've got TO go Ply der rules OF
der trust
Have the old clothes men a trust?"
cried the astonished lady.
ITO be gwite sure they hat" said the
stranger, ''and we've got to standt to-
gedder Vat you got?"
The lady brought forward several gar
ments and the stranger shook them, and
stretched them, and smelled of them, and
finally offered a ridiculously low price.
The lady PRESENTLY yielded and the gar
ments were. placed in the bag.
Amt you got Something's lettle pet
ter, may be-" said the stranger as he
rubbed his grirny hands together. 81 pay
you veil you bring me Something's nice"
house. There's Georges summer suit in
the front room closet don't think HEN
want it any more. and this will be a capt.
tai chance TO get rid of it. Wait a mo-
ment," she said to the stranger. "Tll see
what can find" And she darted away.
When she came back she had the gray
suit over her arm. The stranger seized
the garments and ran his nose along them
with his face screwed up in a quizzical
way.
"ven,'' he said, "dot's all right. will
puy them" And he forthwith began to
thrust the suit into his bag
wait, wait" cried the mistress You
haven't settled on the price"
The stranger paused.
'T gif you one tollar seventy-fve," he
said as ne spread out his hands.
80. that isn't near enough. The clothes
are as good as new" cried the mistress.
The stranger rolled his eyes toward
heaven.
"Crashus me-" he cried "As goot as
new! Wy, dose clodings vas chust alive
by mots"
by what?"
''By mots, mots. mots! Ton't you know
mots?"
Moths! Why, there isn't single moth
in the whole house" cried the indignant
mistress.
Maybe not" said the stranger. "All
desc mots vas married and hat pig fami
lies"
1t was a moth-eaten joke, but 1t went.
You don't offer enough" said the mis-
tress decidedly.
II dell you vat do" said the stranger
in a burst OF benevolence; At gif vun
dollar eighty und dasce der czardas for
you"
What's the czardas?' inquired the mis-
tress-
'Vot! Don't you know der czardas?"
cried the stranger in great establishment.
Watch me-"
And he danced the czardas on the base
ment floor. 1t was a wild dance, and
he threw into it an amazing exhilaration.
He stamped, he leaped, he whirled about
his ancient garments f1uttering and his
hair flying. And the mistress sat on the
basement stairs and laughed until she
cried
Presently, with a final flourish of his
nimble legs, the stranger paused count
ed out with great deliberation the requi-
site number of silver pieces, and with
a blessing on the head of the mistress de-
livered with outspread hands and rolled
up eyes and in some strange tongue, de-
parted with his bag through the outside
basement door,
When George came home that night he
went upstairs and his wife heard him
rummaging around in the closet
Anna" he called from the upper hall
way. have you seen that light gray
summer suit of mine?"
'Wh-what suit?" stammered Anna
why. that light gray suit 1 wore for
a few weeks last summer" said George
1T was in the front closet last night
but can't find it anywhere now"
What do you want of it?' queried Anna
in q weak voice.
why, I wanted 10 have 1t pressed and
sponged up. It's almost as good as new.
Besides that, I was looking for safe
hiding place for a few hundred dollars
in bills that I brought home last night
and fancied the inside pocket of the gray
vest was as safe a place as l could find
Eth, what's the natter" He had heard
a hollow moan from the lower regions,
and down stairs he came flying. There
was poor Anna, limp and white, lying
back in an easy chair.
Here, Anna" he cried, wants the
matter with you?" He was genuinely
scared he stood back little. He
stretched out his hands with the palms
upward He tipped his head 10 one side
with comical leer.
Watts ali dot foolishness apout?' he
cried. Dose clothes vas no good no more
alretty I tolt you dey vas fun OF rnots!"
what" shrieked Anna, springing up.
was that you? Wei, OF all the mean,
contemplate tricks I ever heard Of that's
the worst,'
Yes" he iubilantly cried without heed
ing her criticism, Il sneaked out OF the
front door without your hearing or see
ing me. and sneaked back again And
now" ne added with an uxuberant shout
row vii you say I cant act
But she was so mad over hsr oiscou-