The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-11-05
STORIES FROM THE CONEDY OF LIFE.
On the Street and in the Office in the Car
and by the Fireside at Home.

Among The various articles of "vertu'
brought back by returning members of
the Thirteenth regiment from Manila
were one or two simian specimens in the
shape of Luzon apes. 1t Is a singular
thing how a soldier will guard. protect
and personally conduct measely white
faced chimpanzee across 10000 miles Of
blue water and $500 miles Of mountain
scenery and railroad right of way. and
then suddenly experience a rabid desire
10 get shut of the brute" at the earliest
possible moment. This Is only to be ac-
counted for on the hypothesis that in a
far off foreign cline the lonely soldier
seeks companionshiD with which he
would not associate at home.
However this may be, one of these
monkeys arrived in st. Paul to tho
Hare of brass bands and the whoops OF
the multitude lined up on the streets
From that time out his lie was one
series of startling episodes. Before
noon he had been offered for sale to
about fifty people, none Of whom had
Tor an instant imagined that life would
prove one long. unavailing regret and a
vale of tears without the swest boon OF
monkey. But at last q boy was dis
covered who had imbibed the idea that
an ape in the house would be q we'll
spring of pleasure. If the returned SOL
der would trust him a week he would
- purchase the animal for So. The bargain
was struck. A monkey government
rations and a monkey who must be
boarded on private account are two DIFF
ferent animals.
Now the little B:llingsley boy DID not
come into possession of his new purcha g
until evening and when he arrived homs
with the animal he found that the fam
lily had gone to the Auditorium to extend
the glad hand TO Mr.. Mckinley and sit
under the drippings Of patriotism. The
Billingsley boy carried the ape into the
house, fed it some bread and milk and
proceeded to strike up an acquaintance.
But the monkey was tired. dull and. for
the time being, decidedly uninteresting.
neighbor's boy happened to drop in.
and this relieved the monotony of the
evening.
Finally the neighbours boy went hcme
and the little Billingsley chap fell asleep
in the kitchen. The ape proceed ed TO
make a tour of the premises and To-
calize himself. At 1920 p. m. Mr.. Bill
Kingsley, Mrs. BilHngsley and Maud d
Charlotte Billingsley returned from the
Auditorium. They were tired. The lit
tie boy was shaken up and bundled Oh
TO bed. Mrs. Billingsley put things to
rights about the house. Mr.. Billingsley
gas.
Suddenly he shot through the dining
room, with face like corpse and
slapping vigorously with both hands in
the vicinity of his shoulders.
For heavens sake. Billingsley, what's
the matter?" cried the wife Of his bosom,
as she put away the tablecloth on the
sideboard.
Maria" replied Mr.. Bilingsley. SIS
there anything on me, cat, or vam-
pire. lynx or anything of that sort?"
Not a thing, Billingsley Why?"
There was; something hairy with
cold, clammy nose. Ugh!'
did Xpy oh In he mar
lor?''
Didn't have time to light anything
only light out. Didn't see it, only fe t
tt"
''Mebbe the house is haunted" said
Mrs. Billirgsley.
Nonsense"
"Oh. Biningsley. I'm afraid" cried the
poor woman. Where's Maud and Char
lotte?"
Just then there was a loud crash in
the Darlor.
There goes the clocky' said Mrs. Bl.
Kingsley.
w. mo, I think 1t Is the globe of gold
fish. Thought I heard water splash
"Oh dear, where are Maud and Char
lotte-and Tommy. Billingsley, let's get
the family around US and die together.
Oh, know its burglars
Charlotte, where are you? Come
here" yelled Mrs. Billingsey. Are you
coming?"
There was a rush heard on the hall
stairs. and female figure shot down
ward with all the impetuosity Of waiter
IN a 10-cent restaurant.
II should say I was coming!" shrek
female voice, and Charlotte burst into
the dining room. tipped over flower
stand and threw herself prone on
leather cover ed lounge.
Throw some water over her." cried
Mrs. Bilingsley. She's tainted"
mo, I'm all right, mama, but 1 have
been attacked by a monster
81 told you there were burglars in the
house, Billingsley. Go into the bedroom
and get your pistol"
NO no, mama, It was not a monster
In human form; it was a brute-inhunan
beast"
Same thing that got me-" howled
Billingsley. did it have a nose like
q raw oyster and hair on it's teeth?
Where's Maud?"
why what is the matter with you
people?' demanded the younger sister,
appearing in the door way. Are YOU
crazy-ouch murder! What am I STEP
ping on?' and Maud bounced on TO a
chair, and from thence into the middle
Of the table.
A seal-brown animal whisked back into
the hallway and disappeared in the g oom
of the parlor-
PERHAPS the animal has killed Tom
my" suggested Mrs. Biflingsiey. Surely
a racket Ike that would wake him up
Il am awake" said the interesting
youth, appearing at The .loor and rubbing
his eyes What's the matter with you
people?"
I'm going back into the parlor and
light that gas" exclaimed Billingsey,
vigorously. Gimme my gun
Mrs. Billingsley stepped into the bed
room and emerged with a revolver. wish
she handed over to her husband ginger
iy.
Now, hen, I'll lead the way. Perh:p )
I'd better go alone"
But what are you going to do?' de-