The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-08-31

- uuSt.
The Cuban insu. gents have raised
Hades long enough; now let them raise
eane.-Chlcago Times-Herald.
She-"You say you met your friend
acldentallyY He-"Yes; fell In with
him while skating. "-Yonkers States
man.
Conundrum by the Cheerful idiot:
Q.-"What Is worse than raining cats
and dogsT" A.-"Haillng cabs and
buses. Punch.
Mother drilling Teddy for his first
party)-And now, darling, what is
greedy boy? Teddy-A boy who wants
everything | want.
what kind Of tree is the hardest
to climb" asked the teacher "One that
haln't got no limbs" little Albert re-
plled.-Chicago News.
I'VE didn't have time TO stop, SO we
bought lunch and ate 1t as we drove
along" "Ah, l see-you dlned la
cart. Philadelphia Bulletin.
Shelf capital punishment must
be, certainly favor electricity" He
"ohl That Is to say, you prefer cur
rents to ralsin's. Harlem Life.
Mrs. McBrlde-"Harry, | was beside
myself at the condition you came home
in last night" Harry-"Yes; 1t seems
to me did see two of you."-Judge.
Little Willie-"Pa, why do they call
them minor poets'?" Pa-"Because
they ought to be working with the
pick and shovel, my son."-Tit-Bits.
Here's benevolent assimilation for
you," as the milkman remarked, when
he showed the can under the spout OF
the pump.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Horrified old lady-Oh, kind sir, think
of your motheri Think of your mother!
Burglar (sternly)-No use. lady; l was
brought up In an Incubator.-Tit-B Bits.
Caller-Excuse me, can | speak to
your typewriter a moment? City man
You can't; she's engaged. Caller
That's all right; I'm the fellow.-lllus-
trated Bits.
His sweetheart-I have always heard
that all Spanlards were expert at fenc.
Ing. Returned volunteer-Yes. indeed
they are; especially with barbed wire.
Brooklyn Life.
Tom-Why were you SO determined
to kiss that homely cousin of yours?
Dick-I wanted to establish n prece-
dent. She has two very pretty sisters,
you know.-Judge.
Little Mike Qn the midst of his read
lng)-Feyther, how d'yez pronounce
I-l-o-ll-o? NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. ut?
Begorra! did yez niyer hear a tur-r-r-
key gobble ?-Puck.
First tourist-That Indian seems to
have an awful load on. Second tourist
Yes. He has evidently followed Kip
llng's advice. and taken up the white
mans burden.-Life.
Have you ever read the article on
how to tell bad eggf" mo. haven't;
but my advice would be, IL you have
anything important to tell a bad egg,
why, break 1t gently."-Tit-Bits.
Dombey-How did you get that scar
on your forehead, Jones? Jones-Oh,
my wife and had an argument, and
she obeyed that mean old adage-
strike while the iron is hot.-Judge.
Toni don't know whether she
sings or not" Jack-"She doesn't
heard her."
She-"You are a conundrum." He
"But l hope you haven't given me up
yetn-Town Topics.
Hello, Swardie! l haven't met you
since you came to the city and set up
for doctor. How are you getting
along? Are you making your markT
"Er-yes, I'm doing considerable vac
chatting. "-Chlcago Tribune.
"How can you seold all the time"
was asked of the woman with five step
children and an indolent husband. II
can't Just explain 1t, but l knows that
I'm blessed with wonderful powers Of
endurance"
"A pun" remarked the pedant, sis
merely play on words" Yes" an
swered the frivolous person. They
call 1t n play; but, as rule. 1t seems
more like arduous and unnecessary
work. Washington Star.
The dear girl had been batting him
again. do you believe In love at first
sight?p she asked. "Of course" an
swered the savage bachelor. do you
suppose, IL man had the gift of sec
ond sight, he would fall in love-"
81 heard We were on shtrlke." said
Mike to his friend Pat Il was that"
answered Pat. "A shtrike for what.
PATTI" For shorter hours. Nike"
AN did We get them?" Sure we did,
Nike. It's not workln' at all | am
now"
Look here" said young lieutenant
this uniform you have made for me Is
entirely too larger That's all right"
explained the tailor, "when you get 1t
on you'll feel so big that 1t will be a
perfect fit."-Philadelphia North Amer
lean.
Farmer with wife and two children)
How much fer tickets fer the young
uns? Railway Observation-Disclosures
five and twelve. halffare. Farmer
Gosh darn It! Mandy, We'll hev tew
walt till termorrer; it's half-past twelve
now!-Brooklyn Life.
A seedy-looking fellow entered a
mercantile establishment the other day
and succeeded In Immediately making
his presence obnoxious. "Get out, sir"
snI1 tho nrnnriafor Tor I'll fhroxv yo,,