davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01
HUMOROUS.

sIs your fiat crowded." stCrowd-
ed? We can't yawn without opening
a window.
"Are you still keeping up with ma
tional affairs, Mrs.. Shortfad? ?" No.
I quit long ago; my war scrapbook is.
full
Newpop-I have noticed that babies
always have very open countenances.
Oldpop-Yes; especially about mid
night.
a shoemaker has card in his win
dow reading, "Any respectable man,
wolsu or child can have fit in this
store"
Clerk-Are you going to buy new
directory? The BOSWELL, 1 guess
not! Why, the one we have isn't half
worn out yeto
He-Unless you marry me s shall
go to the Klondike. She-Therel
Papa said you were a mere fortune
hunter, and now you've proved it.
"Sorry I have no small change, -
said gentleman to q beggar. "All
right, yer honor" was the reply .Tll
give ye credit. Where do ye live2"
Hicks-Just saw Hogley. Had been
to the doctors. Doctor tells him he
is looking himself again. WicKs-Is
he really as bad as that? Poor feliowi
s'Even in China woman is rapidly
supplanting man." "How do You
make that out?' "Haven't you mo-
ticed that the man behind the throne
is woman?" 3
Rector (going his rounds) ~ Fine
pig that, Mr.. Dibbles; uncommonly
fine. Contemplative Yillager-Ah,
yes, sir; if we was only all OF US as
fit to die as him, sir!
s'The teakettle seems to be quite q
singer" said the nutmeg Crater. ut,
beats me, my voice is SO rough.
"Me, too, replied the rolling pin; 81
can't get beyond dough"
Mrs. Hiram-Dear, I wish you'd
bring home dozen HarYeyized steel
plates. Mr.. Hiram - What do you
mean? Mrs. Hiram-I' m just curious
to see what Bridget would do. with
them. q :sLls
That watch ~as IN an awful condition
Why, sir, two hands have been COM
stantly,on it ever since yau lett it.
Customer (dryiy) That's apparent on
the face of it.
"Of course" said the lady with the
steel-bound glasses, IT expected to be
called 'strong-minded' after making
speech three hours long in fayor OF
our sex, but to have it misprinted INTO
sstrong-winded' was too much"
Fenderson-Do you know, I half
believe Bass meant TO insult me yes
terday. Fogg-What did he say to
YOU? Fenderson-He advised me not
to visit the Vegetarian club, and 1t
has just come to me that he meant to
insinuate that am beat.
Charitable person to ragged and
shiyering tramp on a cold day; Well
nv man, 1 object to giving money, but
if you come home with me 1 will give
YOU an overcoat that WI last you
through the winter" "OFercoat! l
suppose you want to ruin my busl-
1,oaa - =.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01

whose banishment the Government
is considering, used his influence
with the Gar, with the result that the
persecution of the Russinn Quakers
ceases with their emigration to a far
off land. Count Tolstoi is one OF the
mightiest individual forces IN Russia
to-day, and though lie dresses in the
garb of peasant and lives upon his
farm engaged in the peaceful pursuit
of tilling he soil, the Russian Gov
ernment fears his power more than
that OF any other man.
The Doukhobors believe in the pre-.
cepts, "Resist nothim thatisgeYil, but
Glove your enemies" and they be-
lieve in overcoming evil with good.
They refuse to enter the Russian
army, believing that it is wrong to
prepare to kill neu, and tho question,
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01
rhirteen Jurors i-in: the Il Box.

s.np- -.
Mr.. Justice Bruee's court that of the
thinnest man in existence. Architects
of palaces of justice, wherever they
may be, have always held it to be D
maxim of their art that for twelve men
summoned to serve on jury space
ought to be provided ior only eleven,
and jury boxes are constructed accord
ingly. It was therefore matter OF
great surprise when one of the
counsel in case discovered, after his
leader had opened aud called his first
witness, thirteen heads in the box.
True, it was after luncheon; but as
the discoverer is teetotaller the sur
plus could not reasonably be ascribed
to the usual source of optical augmen-
tation.
Nevertheless he counted the con-
tents of the box several times to make
sure, and thirteen was the result on
each occasion. Then he ventured to
consult his leader, who called his
lordship's attention to the extraordi-
nary fact, and after Mr.. Justice Bruce
had tried his own arithmetical powers
on the jurors aud also totalled up thir-
teen, lie ventured to ask what it all
meant. An inquiry by an officer OF
the court disclosed the fact that the
odd jurymau had been duly summoned
as juror in waiting. and had strolled
into the box unobserved in preference
to standing in the corridor. The good
men and true did not notice his pres
ence, and when he was dismissed they
did not find themselves more at ease.
So thin must he have been that he
may be expected soon to become q
candidate for the attention of the
Psychical Research society.-Londor
Telegraph.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01


''penal battalions;;" and finally, as an
act of mercy, the Russian Gvernment
has consented that these mined peo-
pie may leave their country provided
that they go at their owa expense,
that they never return, and that they
leave behind those of Their -namber
who have been summoned ia military
service.
The strangest fact in this drama of
Russian life is that it w.s mainly
through the influence of Russia's
greatest philosopher, Coult Tolstoi,
that the. Russian authoritiespermitted
these people to leave tleir native
land. This fearless man of peace,
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01
EXILE'D FROM RUSSIA.
A Body of Russian Quakers Who Are Settling
in theECanadian Northwest to
6gD@0qD@a D@D@DaD@ @0DqD0g
escape Persecution

therefore, "What is to be done with
men who. would rather die than kill?''
has made it's way into practical politics.
Some $500 Doukhobors are prepar-
ing to migrate to Canada, where free
land has been granted to them. Their
new home is where the Territories of
Assiniboia and Saskatchewan and the
Province of Manitoba meet. In Rus
sia, and also in England, money has
been collected to enable them to be-
gin to cultivate the land granted them
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01
HOME AGAIN.

At last it sounds. The phrase wa longed to
hear
Is brave and glad In the triumphant cheer,
But tenderest when weary one may rest
At last with those who know and love him
best,
The feeting years bid memory efface
Life's crude and cruel lines. In Scftened
The picture, lit by hope instead OF psiii,
Shines,as our boys repeat it, "Home again. J"
And we, who co., c.t watch, the empty
chair
And pray for one' whose place was waiting
there,
Found in the oldtime haunts so sad a change,
That places most familiar grew most strange.
We, who were lingerers from the battle
With step grown lighter and with pulses
keen, &
Like wanderers hear the welcoming refrain,
For We, with you, at last are "Home again.
Washington Star.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01
A Calf With Five Legs and Six Hoofs.

One of the most remarkable cUri-
osities ever known to exist in the an
imal kingdom in Barbour county, is a
calf on the farm of e. P. Phillips,
near Phillippi, W. Va. The calf has
five legs and six feet. Four legs are
natural, the fifth, about six inches
back from the forelegs, on the right,
swings clear of the ground and has
two sets of hoofs. New York Press.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01
I<,nr Corn,s Palace.

The old world is to be given a good
idea at the Paris Exhibition of what
American corn is. 4 corn palace will
be built showing a tremendous ear OF
corn rising tower fashion from its
front, and in this palace it is proposed
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01
The onality of che Water.

Doctor-Can you get pure water at
your boarding house2
Patient-Not always. / frequently
detect just flavor of coffee in it. -
Detroit Free Press.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01
,xha.1. Some etimes Neeessar,

sspeaking of money" said the
Cheerful IDIOT.
.sBy what right?" asked the sar-s
castle boarder.
.Tt often takes round sum to
square things. indianapolis Jotf-
nal
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01
THOs. J. ADAMS PROPRIETOR.
MY AUNT POLLY.


~ ons naoAo
~ ehummed
H'"t '''1' the
Polly faithful GENTLE entered sS
Herkin
meath the churchyard swardi 49,
rsino heeast
e Sokely, Youths Companion
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01

The first expedition to the South
Pole took place in 1867,
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01

to have a corn kitchen aud restaurant,
in which corn bread, corn pudding,
corn fritters, corn dodgers, Johnny
cake, succotash and oil other forms
of this vegetable will be served.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1899-04-08

Mr. Tompkihs, who had a widt
acquaintance in his native State,
made an appeal to the parochaI
legislative bodies, known as police
juries. These bodies responded
most nobly and our treasury was
soon filled again.
The 10000, 900 contract measure
became a law and its benefcent
effect is apparent to all.
AT different times during the
past two years Mr.. Tompkins has
been under the direction the direc-
tion of President Chas. Scott, of
this Association, pushing some
very valuable and effective plans
to advance the levee sentiment and
assist the final passage of q general
measure like the Catchings bill,
the Police Juries again responding
to his appeal for funds to assis-
these plans The sequel and fit
ting climax to all of his efforts will
be this book.
This publication is certainly as
ambitious project of the kind as
was ever conceived. Certainly
no one but he would have under
taken to weld the people of the
whole Valley into a cooperative
movement to secure a support
sufficient to allow the free distri-
button of Il costly book of 1900
pages in the commercial circles of
the whole United States.
Possessed of fine executive ahil-
ity, full of energy and enthusiasm
and mentally fully equipped for
the task, there is no reason why
he should not bring to q successful
completion this valuable work on
the elaborate plans he has mapped
out.
There is every reason to believe
that, with the right effort on the
part of the people, the General
Government can be induced to
solve this important problem in
the next Congress-
Elaborate plans have been laid
for work this summer and fall and
Mr.. Tompkins' book is on impor-
tant part of them.
The press Of the Valley should
keep this matter before the people.
W. A. EVERMAN.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1899-04-08
Another Sample of Development.

The Illinois Central Railroad
will have valuable feeder in the
road which has Just been cQmpleta
sd from Moorhead to Tptwiler,
The line was composed by q syn
dicate composed of G. H. Pond
and others, and extends through
very fertile section of Missis-
sippi. The portion of tne road
between kuleville and Moorhead
has been open for some time,
Mr.. Pond, who is president Of the
company, refers to its work in de-
yeloping this section of the South
as follows:
''The road was opened year
and two months ago, and when we
ran the first train through the onIv
house along the entire lie was a ne
gro cabinr. and there was but one
/ neld of about 100 acres IN oultiva-
ton. Within the year there have
been more than fifty houses put
up along the line, and now there
are quite "a number of plantations
under cultivation. The country
then was wild, and It seemed that
an axe had never entered the for
ests; but that condition has chang
ed wonderfully, and one who saw
the couAtry then would not know
It now,
Fright now there are 20O0 car
loads of freight along the old line
waiting for the road to be opened
through to the Yazoo & Missls-
slppi Valley, and within ninety
DAYS there will be as many more
You can Judge from that whether
there are resources in Sunhower
county or not. This freight con-
sists of timber, cotton and slaves,
and of each of the three there is q
large quantity. Manufacturer
| Record.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1899-04-08
A Rook ON Our Levees.

Under the above caption oul
readers will find a splendid en-
dorsement of a proposed literary
and statistical work by Mr.. Frank
IL. TompkinS from the New Or.
leans Times Democrat. The array
/ of name5 of Presidents OF fiscal
and commercial bodies is truly in
spring and demonstrates that
these gentlemen, SO prominently
identified with the valley, appreci-
ate an opportunity to advance be-
fore Congress the cause of leyees
and the improvement of the Mis-
sissippi river.
Mr.. Tompkins' connection with
the rivers cause dates back to 1891
when the people of the valley
through the then recently organ
lied Leyee Association were max
inc strenuous efforts to assist our
able delegation from the river
States in the passage of measures
for the repair of damages to the
Ieyees by the flood of 1890.
The Inter State Mississippi Riy-
er Improvement and Levee Asso=
oIation, which had been organized
by the BIG convention which as
sembIed at VIcksburg IN June of
that year, while the flood was at
its height, was maintaining a
strong delegation at Washington,
and flooding the country with lit
erature bearing on the Importance
of the protection and Development
Of the Mississippi valley. An
emergency bill for one million
dollars was before congress and y
general measure, since known as
the ten million dollar contract bill,
was in preparation, Mr., TomnkkiiTi
conceived the idea that general
write-up of the whplo subject by
some Journal OF wide reputation
aud circulation would be of grqat
advantage to the cause. He solic-
tied the support of that able expo
nent of Southern deyeE Eopment, the
Manufacturers Record, of Balti-
more, and was sent by that journal
to the Mississippi river, and IN a
splendid outfit, bought by that en-
terprising journal, trayersed the
levee section of the river from
Memphis to the lower Louisiana
marshes. Meanwhile the Manu-
! facturers Record commenced a
| series Of introductory articles from
the mems of Catchngs, Blanchard,
Leach, Startling, Dabney and Others,
treating of different phases OF the
Question. After the investigation
Of the facts and the write-up had
completed the whole was published
in book form by the Manufactu-
rers Record for free distribution,
and secured a large circulation
About that time, with the as 1s
sembling of the new eQngreSs
which was 10 be requested to pass
the ten million dollar contract
measure, the Interstate Missls,
sippi River Improvement aho
I,eyee Association found itsen
without funds to further bear the
EXPENSE Of its delegation at Wash.
;ngton. Individual contributions
had already been made in all th'
States along the river and by th'
,pvee boards. These channels Q
resources were, so to speak, closed
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1899-04-08

A little boy in a neighboring
town was required to write an es-
say the other day. ''The News
paper was the subject, and here
is the result: q don't know how
come newspapers to be in the
world; / don't think God does for
he haint got nothing to say about
them, and editors is not in the
Bible. | think the editor is one
of the missin' links you wrote
about, and stayed in the brush
fill after the flood, and then come
out and wrote the thing up and
has been here ever since. | don't
think he ever dies. | never saw
un' and never heard of one getting
licked. Our paper is mighty
poor un'; the editor goes 'thout
undercIothes all winter, don't weal
no socks, and pa hasn't paid bis
subscription in more than five
years.-Ex.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1899-04-08
SCHOOL NOTES.

nv, It
Inc mohlhiE enfoI'lllenl mas
passed the 400 me, aooAy 70 per GI'
belonging to the l!lgh 9chooI; Inc
children ID MISS Johnson ana MISS
Nflthh > rooms 9PCnI 'uelL ~, TIou ~
recess yesterday dying eggs iheJ
enjoyed 1t as onLE eRI'dleh can
The enrolment at the coIored
schools cyceeds f60
DR., ". {. Brooke will hold
vaccination leyoos next week, be
ginning Of school No. ,. on Mon
dav
e1
The recent visit OF Dt' oaGuo-
ers and Of some OF the IruSJSe9 tS,
was much appreciated. Inc
schools could stand more frequent
visits.
rrno,rarog q mother Of y very
o.tlhos ''si'L hn,r ~ balnaJ =, tbe school and
tos,ha~.. oS'il,@ y0} ,.3r,, n,l,nb Inv .fonpino.
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1899-04-08
VICKSBURG & GREENVlLLE
PACKET co,

IARRlING O. 5, MAIL.
Steamer Belle of the Bends, Rath ana Ahhc
Laurie
ANNIE LAUREL Leaves Vicksburg Monday
2p M Leaves 6reenville Tuesday 2 ?; m
Iuesdpy -, IA. Leaves Greenyile Wednesday
at y. IN. ,,, ~
ANNIE LAURIE n caves Vicksbuug Thursday
at p. m LeaveAircenviile Friday az p NJ
BELLE OF THE BENDS Leaves NlchsDlls
Friday st2 y. m Leaves GreenYliIe SATURDAY
at3p N. 49,
ANNIE LAURIE--Lesves Eicksburg saturday
a , p m. Leaves Greenvllle sunday at . p, -, -,
Bants brilliantly lighted throughout with
electricity Llght in every stateroom, GUS
Inc unsurpassed ,
The right is reserved to pass any landins
deemed unsafe by the Captain commanding
O0lee, Elevator, Greenvllle
LYME STARLlNG, ASehs
rAATT, Hass Agt - POWERS sNp|
The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1899-04-08
BUCKLEN's AhNIoA sALVE,

The BEST SALvE in the world for Cuts
Rrulses, Sores, Ulcers. salt Rheum. Fe
Yer Sores, letter, Chapped fIands, Chill
blaius, Corns, and ali Skin Eruptions
and positively cures Piles, or no pay re-
0uired. 1t is guaranteed TO give perfect
atlsiacti6n, or money refunded. Price
95cents per box. For sale at FILAf'2'
pRUG STORE
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1899-02-15
Scandinavian Society.

The Scandinavian Society of this city
has about completed preparations for the
celebration of the fortieth anniversary of
the organizations existence. The popu-
lar entertainment will take place at Ma
tive Sons Hall on Mason street, on the
night of Saturday, March 4.
This is the oldest society of it's class
and dui1ng its organization it has dis
bursed hundreds of thousands of dollars
in sick and death benefits and in various
other ways it has contributed largely to
the well being of Scandinavian people.
Some of the best artists of San Fran
cisco have kindly volunteered their SER
vices. and the programme, which will be
in English, has been prepared by Leon
hard Georges of Sherman, Clay & Co.
The price of admission has been fixed
at so cents. Tickets car. be had at Sher-
man, Clay e. Co.'S, or from any of the
following committee of arrangements:
Captain A. c. Freese, chairman; Consul
Henry Lund, Consul John Simpson, Leon
hard, Georges, Albert Hansen, Captain
Jacob Jensen, Captain H. A. Thompson,
DIR. James A. w. Lundborg, A. W. Will
son, Charles Plambeck. Andrew Olson, N
P. Holtum, H. A. Brunnell, p. o. Aune
and Oliver Olsen.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1899-02-15
ADVERTISEMENTS
cATARRH OF THE STOMACH.
A Pleasant, Simple, but Safe and Ef-
fectuaI Cure for It.

Catarrh of stomach has long been con-
sidered the next thing to incurable. The
usual symptoms are a full or bloating
sensation after eating, accompanied some
times with sour or Watery risings, for
nation of gases, causing pressure on the
heart and lungs and difficult breathing;
headaches, tickle appetite, nervousness
and general played out, languid feeling
There is often a foul taste in the mouth.
coated tongue and if the interior of the
stomach could be seen it would show
Shiny, inf1amed condition.
The cure of this common and obstinate
trouble is found in treatment which
causes the food to be readily, thoroughly
digested before it has time to ferment
and irritate the delicate mucous surfaces
Of the stomach. To secure prompt and
healthy digestion is the one necessary
thing to do and when normal digestion is
secured the catarrhal condition will have
disappeared.
According to DR.. Harlanson the safest
and best treatment is to use after each
meal tablet, composed of Diastase, Asep-
tic Pepsin, a little Nux, Golden Seal and
fruit acids. These tablets can now be found
at all drugstores under the name of Stu
arts Dyspepsia Tablets, and not being a
patent medicine can be used with perfect
safety and assurance that healthy appe-
TIE ana thorough d1geSCon VIII IolIOW
their regular use after meals.
Mr.. N. J. Booher of 271O Dearborn St,
Chicago, H., writes: "Catarrh is a local
condition resulting from a neglected cold
in the head, whereby the lining membrane
of the nose becomes infiamed and the
poisonous discharge therefrom pass
ing backward into the throat reaches
the stomach, thus producing ca
tarrh of the stomach. Medical au-
thorities prescribed for me for three
years for catarrh of the stomach without
cure, but to-day am the happiest of men
after using only one box of Stuart's Dys-
pepsia Tablets. cannot find appropriate
words to express my good feeling. have
found flesh, appetite and sound rest from
their use"
stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets is the safest
preparation as well as the simplest and
most convenient remedy for any form Of
indigestion, catarrh of the stomach, bill
iousness, sour stomach, heartburn and
bloating after meals.
Send for little book, mailed free. on
stomach troubles, by addressing Stuart
Co., Marshall, Mich. The tablets can be
found at all drugstores.
The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1899-02-15
Incidental to the

after s o'clock last night he colIided with
John Lawson and both went down.
Pierce was up in an instant and was as
sisted on one of his spare machines.
When his competitors heard the smash
they rode like mad and gained two laps
on him. Ashinger remained on his wheel
until u:15 p. m, having then ridden
twenty-four hours and twenty-one min
utes without dismOunt, covering in that
time 469 miles and laps. Gimm and
Miller also exceeded Pierce's former rec
ord. Gimm covering 4597s miles and Miller
Throughout the day the big crowd of
riders kept up a steady grind that aver
aged twenty miles an hour. Many spec
tat0rs who witnessed the start on Mon
DAY night remained until daylight
strtamed In through the windows. There
was q continuous stream of visitors
throughout the day and all seemed to
have iaYorites whom they cheered on
..r.T way.
In the evening the spectators, the mu-
.e and the lights spurred the riders TO
greater efforts julius did yeoman duty
SIS pacemaker, pioneering the long
string of riders mile after mile at fast
pace. Gradually the men at the end of
the string began to lag and the leaders
soon gained one Of the much coveted laps,
an eighth of a mile. The petroleum go
cart of Fournier, the clever Frenchman,
created the first outburst of enthusiasm
If the night. AS he dashed past the plod-
ding riders, Barnaby followed by Pierce,
Miller and others went after him. Barn
a1y held on until he had gained two laps.
Pierce was satisfied with one, while the
others We're content to watch them in
their mad dash around the track.
Mrs. Miller. the young bride of Cham
pi0n Miller, spent the greater part of the
tUenty-four hours in the pavilion.
Dressed in red, with big picture hat,
she looked well the part of a child-wife
A. square of paper was fastenened in front
Of her seat so that her husband could To-
cate her readily.
The feeding Of the men interests the
feminine spectators. They watch the
of its consumption with eager eyes.
Frank Waller, who was the favorite
among California wheelmen, went blind
noon and was forced to withdraw from
the race. He had been riding easily and
was looked upon as the most likely man
IN the race. For several hours he guided