The record-union., 1899-06-06
A JEALOUS REFORMER.
But the Young Woman Failed to
Appreciate Him.

|
But the Young Woman Failed to
Appreciate Him.
| The long, timber, loose jointed indi-
vidual who was riding leisurely along
the boulevard on a bicycle quickened
his pace slightly and drew alongside a
young woman attired in divided skirts
and riding a mans wheel.
IF you will not think I am taking too
great liberty, miss" he said, raising
his hat, Il will venture to tell you that
you ride pigeon-toed.''
"Sdr"
"oh. most decidedly. Pigeon-toed
Nobody, perhaps, has done you the
kindness to call your attention to it..
The effect, as one may say, viewed from
the rear"
Il don't think you're much of gen.
tleman, anyway"
Yes but l am. I'm a gentleman old
enough to be your father, young lady
That is why I took it upon myself to
speak to you. Wouldn't you rather"
I'D rather not have anything to say
to you, sir!"'
I was going to ask if you wouldn't
rather I spoke to you about it than to
wink at somebody on the sidewalk and
point at you, and let you ride on in
| ignorance"
There isn't any need of your doing
either, SIR -
Il beg your pardon, but think there
is. l couldn't be gentlemanly enough
to jeer at you behind your back, and
from my point of view
Besides, have never been intro
duced to yous sir..''
Then allow me to introduce myself
My name is Civilians. Have a wife, but
no children. Hence, I have plenty of
time to go about doing good"
Sir, Il
And from my point of view, as
was about to say, it would be almost
equally ungentlemanly to see a young
woman unconsciously riding along in
a highly pigeon-toed manner and give
her no intimation that she is making a
bewildering spectacle of herself"
Il don't believe it, either.''
BE it far for me to dispute with you,
miss, but you will pardon me for OBJ
serving"
Il won't, either.''
For observing that you are not rid
ing the least bit pigeon-toed now
How dare you, sir!"
ut does take a good deal of courage,
that's fact But it's sort of duty.
am always getting into scrapes, even
when I am trying the hardest to be a
public benefactor Great Scott, young
woman! Do look like a man who
would go around poking his nose into
steel traps merely for the enjoyment
of the sensation?"
Il was going along here peaceably,
sir, and paying no attention to you, ana
1t does seem to me"
Il beg your pardon, my dear Miss
Miss
Never mind, sir!"
Miss observation-disclosures you-why
will you persist in refusing to look at
the case from my point Of viewa Just
because nobody has ever told you CT
your pigeon-tced form of riding it
doesn't follow that nobody ever ought
to tell youa and who can do it so an
propriately as some old. withered-but
still active, young woman, still active
hunks like me? Pigeon toes generally
accompany-steady, now-they gener-
ally accompany bowlegs-"
Sir, think you are
"They do, indeed, miss. They do, in
deed. I wouldn't deceive you in mat
ter like that They don't always go
together, of course, but the presumption
is strong. Now, my wife rides out &C.
casionally on her wheel but I do as
sure you that if she rode pigeon-toed,
or had dropped handlebars and a hump
or wore the Jenny Miller style of gear
am not sure whether that's the proper
name for it,
well, it isn't"
Probably not. But if she did all
that and rode a mans machine, besides,
1 should say to her: My dear, I have
position in society to maintain. I owe
something to my family name. There
is no blot, I believe, on the name Of
Civilians Therefore, my dear, if YOU
insist on going out in that style I
shall hire some trusty policeman to go
along to take care Of you. There are
machines made for women to ride on,
and there is no more need OF their
mounting mans wheel than there is
for their riding in a smoking-car of a
railway train because there happens to
be a, srnoking-car. And short skirts
look better than short skirts and Jenny
Miller. style combined That's the
way I should talk to my wife, and If
you knew her as well as do you would
know 1 was taking a fearful risk, young
woman
IT don't care what you would say to
your wife, sir I think you are tha
most impudent old"
q beg your pardon. miss, but you are.
riding pigeon toed again."
''Winsyou please go on ahead, sir?"
r"I would like to oblige you, miss,
bHt this is4 about as fast as I can ride.
I'm no seorch en- However, this is where
4 turn OF Il wish you good afternoon,
Miss Neverfnind I have enjoyed our
EE3fttie conversation very smurh.'sS
He lifted his hat, turned down a side
street and rode away with his head up.