The Forrest City times., 1899-08-25

expect to go through life feeding "a lot
Of strangers on short notice? The un-
certainty in itself is torture. Have some
spunk about you and give Jones such a
setback that he'll give you due notice
from now on. would"
But that is not the way of young
wives. Mrs. Jones even rebuked her
grim mother for such advice, and things
moved along in the same uneven
groove. But last Sunday there came
a crisis. Saw Jones down town." said
friend of the family as he was pass
ing. LOT of fellows he used to know
in the east are here with the Christian
Endeavorers. They are having a pic
mic talking over old times, and heard
him invite half dozen or so of them up
to dinner. Did he send you word?"
20, we know they're coming" she
answered loyalty, though she had just
heard of it, and the finest expert could
not have detected that her smile was
counterfeit. She was in the kitchen
before her informant had gone block.
She impaired her enthusiasm to the
girl and the whole culinary department
ratified with activity. 1t was hot, but
full head of gas was turned on in
the big range and there was a cooking
utensil in commission wherever there
was room for one. Tribute was exacted
from all the people who were in reach,
baskets and brown paper being used
in the delivery of plunder. Two or
three women Of the neighborhood were
enlisted as assistants, and the hilarity
maintained through such a stress of
work was something to be wondered at.
A little later four young girls in wash"
dresses and becoming aprons put in an
appearance and one of the women de-
voted her entire time drilling these
young recruits to wait on the table
without staggering.
Jones and his friends arrived with the
noise of team of horses clattering
over the front porch. "Whew!" he be-
gan, as soon as he had introduced his
wife and could get her by herself,
whats the matter here? 1t smells
like pickle factory with half dozen
imported odors thrown in. It's some
thing horrible. An oil refinery and a
tannery in the neighborhood would be
decided improvement. Anybody been
burning junk or garbage? What in
creation is it?"
"Oh, why didn't You tell me, dear,
that you would bring company to din
ner?' and there was world of troubled
solicitude in the face OF the demure
little Mrs. Jones. "But Wen get
through with it. 1t happens that we
have real surprise. I've heard you
tell so often of the merry Dutch lunches
you have had down town that thought
I'd get up something warm in that
line, with a few other foreign dainties
thrown in"
"But the house reeks with garlic
and"
That's Spanish, you know, dear.
They're all old chums of yours, aren't
they, Jones? twill be lark for them.
It's the pot roast that gives forth the
variegated and pungent aroma. 1t is
regular vegetable bouquet, and IL you
and your friends are at all analytical
you could name most of the ingred-
tents. There are onions, turnips, car
rots, cabbage-red cabbage, dear
| rutabegas-"
Thunder! Abbreviate by telling me
what there isn't in it. l told them they'd
| have to take pot luck, but pot roast!
It's enough to drive them out of the
house on the dead run. What kind of
meat have you with this agricultural
medley?"
Don't be cross, dear. I know that
it's beef, but l can't make out just
what part, and then we have a few
German meats. If you had only sent
me word! But we must make the best
| of it uow.''
Jones groaned and nearly fell off
his chair with surprise when the young
ladies filed in to act as walters. His
companions also looked perplexed and
recognized distinct jar in the domes-
tic machinery. Jones swore in loud
whisper when the round-faced girl
from three doors below asked the gen
tlemen whether they would prefer
roggen brod or pumpernickel. The
others were dazed and stammered as
assurance that they had no choice.
The fearfully and wonderfully con-
structed pot roast lost none of its
| fragrance by being loaded ON the indi-
vidual plates, and as no one liked all
the concomitants there was an osten-
tatious pretense with scarcely any eat
ing.
The guests made a gallant bluff at
weinerwurst, ceryelet wurst, kippered
herring, lodged the limburger, which
Jones declared with savage emphasis
| was a relief from the denominations of
the other odors, took kuchen on faith
and came in unanimously on Elm beer.
Little Mrs. Jones had fiuttered about,
chattering merrily and trying to ami
mate her guests, but Jones was as grim
as craven image. intimated that he
would have the house fumigated be-
fore he slept in it and finally so far lost
self-restraint as to want to bet his wife
ten millions of dollars that it was all
put-up job. She only smiled angelic
ally and said she was afraid Jones had
lost his appetite because of the hot