Evening journal., 1899-02-22
VESTS GREAT SCHEME
Wants to Sidetrack Addicks
On the Expansion Theory.
BILL JONES DOES NOT APPROVE

BILL JONES DOES NOT APPROVE
THE STATESMAN FROM SAND
TOWN HAS EVIDENTLY BEEN
DOWN IN SUSSEX. FCR HE
TELLS SEvHRlAL TABLES OF THE
FEOPLE CT THAT FLACE.
This is the latest letter of william
Jones to Lis wife, which has fallen
into the Wayfarer's hands:
My Deer Mary. ANN
l met mi ole friend Tomas n. Staten
In ghe Senit chamber to-day, an l sed
to him. "Tcm, wotre you doin' down
here?" He sez, I'm maxim a still hunt
fer sumboddy's scalp" sez, 'HOols
The indeIvidyal is Likely to lose his
hare?' He eez, "Barnee Mackyay." =" i
sez, "Wot hav you got agin him?' He
SCI, wen i wuz runnin' fer stait sem
tier him an John Dolin an John Pile
got together an licked the life outten
me, am hits the furst chance I've
had of gittin' even" l sez, ''WIotls
yer charges?" an he sez, Offensive
{partysanship NV the wurst kind. Bar
ney hadn no rite to go back on me in
that fite. Ef he hadn' a dun that
mts' certenly wOuidn' a-bin down yere
lncw." That's wot he sed, Mary Ann,
an vile he WIZ spekin' he KEEP runnin'
his finger up an down the edge Of his
scalpin' knife. HIT certenly wuz a
Iterryfyin' site, an no mistake, Mary
Ann.
Representative West Is long-heded
lfeller. He's got a skeme new to side
track our Mister Addix on the expan-
shun Theory an were agin hit. Ef l
hain't mistall1n hits his idee to inter
docs a ressolushun petltshenins the
Federl government to set apart one Of
th5m Fi,.ypene Glans fer Mister Addix
an allowin' the Legislature to elect
him king Of hit fur life an to Civ him
crown with one big dimund star in
hit, provided as how Mister Addix II
pay fer the dimund star.
Mary Ann, there hain't no end to
1.-THE trubbles between Recorder Of Deeds
Joe Hern an Prothonotary Jake
Adams, Of Sussix county. Durin' the
b.izzerd a buzzerd walked into the Cori
, House at Georgetown. Hit wuz hungry
am lookin fer sumthin' to etc. Hit
wen into ice Hern's offs, an Jake
Adams hearn tell Of hit, an sense ther
he hahn dun thing to Hern but mail
life mos mis5erabul fer him. Wen th'
hrzzerd .ef Joe Hern's offis hit wen
over to the Egle Hotel to hunt fer th'
egle.
You no Bob Davis, Of Georgetown
Mary Ann. Wen the blizzerd strucl
him he wuz home an he hung aroun
. his own freside until he fcun hissel
y showed in. Then ne begun readin', al
went over everything but the Bi
bel. After ne had dun that he go
hungry fur sumthin' to rede. His Bibe
tel him as how Peter walked on tn
n water. He sed to hisself, ''Ef Peter Gu
walk on the water / CESS kin walk oil
the snO. He bilt hisself a pare Of horse
D. shoes, put 'em On an set out on
. lstiq,-hunt fer redin' matter. Sumho'
4 he got them shoes Of hissenl crosse
= an his frens an nabers had to dig hiI
q outten the snow. Wen they got his he
lc,ere he spit the sno oulben his mout
IL an sed: "Fellels, Peter mita Wake
on the water but, ef he dun hit, ther
n mustalbin three or fore inches Of is
a on hit" I allow as how that feller
practikal theeolojin, Mary Ann.
I'm afeerd as how cur felIer Sher
re- Warton is a-goin' TO git hisself int
= trubb.e ever that Niger preecher Co
n Nns, of Frederlcky. He wuz convicte
n of yio.atin' the registrashun laws al
the jedges toB the shereff to kepe Co
Tins in jale fer six months. l CESS the
didn' speke loud enuf fer the shere
F. to here, fer insted of putin Collil
,r in jale he's lettin' him run aroun' tow
st an do jes wot he pleses. Sum
Of them jedges sez as how they're agoi
a to bi the shereff a speal1in' trumpet a
no tell him over agin wot they tor him
: the furst place about there intenshw
ID with regard to this fe.ler.
r. Yore risin' husban,
- BILL JONES.