The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1899-11-03
81 WAS A sCHENER
ne Generally Got the Best OF q Bar
gain But once He Got
Left.


gain But once He Got
Left.
This is the traditional tale Of mean
old cuss who once lived in a neighboring
town. 1t was written In the archives
Of the village that he didn't care no
more for q nickle than he did for his
life" and some Of the antiquarians Of
to-day maintain that he was the origi-
nal hero Of the famous doubIe-yoIk egg
and needle swapping incident which
has long been celebrated in song and
story.
Fame did not wait until after his
death to come to him, for his name was
great in his own day and generation,
and in consequence when rs went into
the general store TO 60 some "tradin'
the group about the stove would cease
discussions of living questions Of art
philosophy and finance, and would lis
ten eagerly to learn his new device
for getting the better Of the store
keeper. He always had a new one.
His name was 81. The story goes
that one day he approached the dealer
on a matter of pipes and matches, while
the kLOAD dDOlA A44G sANh 2 --sAN-AIN4 wa
ezpectant grins and many nudges, all
Of which were entirely unnecessary.
"Say, Lemuel," said old 81, ''What'r
ye gettin' fer them pipes?"
1.-TWO cents apiece said Lemuel, with
a look in his eyes like that in the eye
Of wrestler who spars for hold.
"An' how much be the matches"
Scent a bunch, three fer two" said
Lemuel.
wouldn't sell two for a cent?" asked
old ST.
Nope" said Lemuel.
''Wuth a cent apiece to ye, be they7"
''Yep."
TEL yer what" said the bargainer,
throw in a bunch Of matches 4 buy
three Pipes?"
Nope"
Wouldn't anyhow, s'pose?"
Nope" and the group about the
stove Rugged themselves with silent de-
light.
"Weu, les see,'' said 81, calculating.
ST s'pOse f a customer wants to return
goods that amt damaged you'll com
modate him?"
yep"
AN three punches matches, that's
two cents"
yep"
The transfer was made and old 81
/ started for the door. The group at ths
| stove opened their mouths to cOngra+-
/ ulate the storekeePer when they saw
/ the customer turn again.
81 dunno what I'm thinkin' Of, get
tin all these matches" take back two
/ punches an gimme two cents. That'l
make Us square"
The flush of victory had made Lem
ueI careless. "Jes' you say" he re-
/ marked, and the deed was done
well, now, I guess III take another
! pipe said the bargainer, and he passed
over the two cents again and got 1t.
''Took 'em a long time TO clean out
that road down to the center, didn't
I it?" said OF ST. Looks like more
snow, too" and he went out.
When the group about the stove had
| finished Shaping their knees and wag-
| ging their heads and saying ''haw-haw'
and "ygosb," the storekeeper allowed
that he would get even with OF 81 If
/ It took a five dollar note. One day he
did, although they had several encOun-
| tiers which ended with honOrs even in
| the meantime. OF Sis Waterloo was
! concealed In a pair Of boots
The stOrekeeper picked out a shop
worn pair, which were worth much
money when they were new and told OF
ST that they were worth four dollars.
( OF 81 felt that II was bargain in spite
| Of the shOpwear, but he knew better
/ than to pay four dollars for the pair.
The group about the store pricked up
their ears when the old man said:
''What'd you sell one fer?"
The stOrekeeper saw means Of sue
/ cess beyond his dreams. It came on
him like fash: 1.-TWO dollars"
'Wel," said OF 81, my Ief' boots as
good as new. I guess if you gimme the
right er that pair, III be all hunky."
Take it." said the storekeeper, and
Of 81 undid the string on his wallet and
counted out the two.
The storekeeper had not traded with
OF 81 for nothing. He knew what was
coming. The old man reached the door.
Then he turned again.
Say, LemueI," said the old man,
with a great air Of indifference, AZ
dunnO's that other boots any particu-
lar valyer to you, is it?'
Nope" said Lemuel, now that I
come to think ont, guess faint" He
opened the stove and popped the other
half Of the pair into the blazing fire.
Dye find many drifts on the way over?
Seems If 1t couldn't do nothin' but snow
lately" The boot was on the other
leg.-Worcester Gazette.