The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1899-08-04
MAKING HONE 4 HELL
Ella Wheeler Wilcox Tells
How 1t Is SureSt Done
by THE NAGGING WIFE
Who Feels Sorry for Her
UnappreCiated Self

self. You may have no need of my re-
marksv they may not apply to you If
they do you>wiI know it, whether you
confesstit or not. But am quite certain
you will be able II think of some one
or more of your acquaintance to whom
they will apply.
The type OF woman am writing about
today exists everywhere. She is in the ul-
tra-fashio nable circles, she is to be found
over the vrashtubs in the tenements, and
she prevails largely in the space between
the two extremes.
In the country, where women do their
own work, i have have found her num-
erously, and in villages and towns where
she keeps one or several domestics she
also exists.
1t makes no dierence whether Che is
rich or poor, fortunate or unfortunate
When a woman has allowed hersel ito be-
come apetty tyr;lnt in disposition she will
find cause and ,pcca sion to exercise her
peculiar talents to make everybody
about her miserable, no matter what her
surroundings. Of course, selfishness is
at the root Of it. ct perhaps you are a
woman who keep your family miserable
mentally, and yet, you tell me that you
are unselfish.
You do the work. Of a domestic to save
your husband the expense because he Is
not pr Jsp'rn-' in money matters, and
you do all the sewing for the children
and you deny yourself comforts for the
sake Of your fa;uilly in order that the
husband and children may enjoy luxuries,
perhaps.
But, my dear madam, how can they en-
joy these luxuries when you tell them
twenty times a week. how you have slav-
ed and saved for their sakes? Why have
not you the good sense to see that they
would be happier II you took life easily
and smiled at them and let them work
and save for you? They would rather a
| thousand times do this. and see a happy,
cheerful face about the home. and hear
loving words and cheerful talk. than to
see the despairing face you carry about
and to hear your never ending tale Of
toll and sacrifice.
on preten dto be christian. presume
but the woman who is always describing
her own good actions, and who makes ev-
erbody about her utterly wretched by her
constnat reference to her sacrifice for
their sake. is no christian. Christ will be
ashamed to own her when she gets out
of her body.
on say you want your family to ap-
preciate what you are doing. and you are
obliged to remind your husband and
children of your unselfish labors and
economies or they would take them as a
matter of course after a while. Let me
answer you, madam, that nobody ever
appreciated a favor Of which he was re-
minded every day in the week by the
doer. and talk about your favors to others
is as bad or wrose than forgetting 9TH
| ers favOrs to you.
Discontinue your labors for your family
a while If you think the members do not
appreciate you. Lie down and read, and
be cheerful and amiable and affectionate
and see how quickly husband children
will springs to your aid.
This is a far better way Of getting at
tention than by demanding II.
The woman tyrant has an idea that she
must always be first in every way In the
consideration OF each member OF the
| household. l have known her to make a
scene because her husband sat for an hour
with their daughter and girl friend who
! had just returned from boarding school,
while the mother was writing letters in
| another room!
But she was accustomed to having her
| husband come at once TO her side when
! he returned from business. and she con-
! sidercd it n slight and a lack OF proper
| courtesy when he fingered with anyone
! else. even his own daughter for an hour.
This is a poor way 10 keep q man in
! love with you. Only a weak man would
/ submit to it. The man l refer to was not
/ n weak man in any sense save that he
| lonsed for a peaceful home. He Submit
! IL To his wife's tyranny in a great degree
merely to keep peace. and he finally died
/ insane.
! 1t was small wonder. Constant ascot
petty tyrant wears she brain far more
/ than a great sorrow or tragedy.
/ The wife who makes hersa II so adorably
/ sweet ana charming that a man prefers
! her society to that of any other person
( never needs to demand his attention.
/ Il is far more hat;ering to know that a
/ man SEEKS you because nowhere else can
/ he receive such welcome. such thought
/ fulncss for his comfort, such pleasing at
( tcnd1ns, or hear such agreeable convorsa-
/ lion. than 10 glory in the thought that
| You have forced him 20 ooey you by max
/ ing a painful scene.
The sort OF a woman who is always
/ working herself to death for the phySi-
/ cal comforts OF her husband and children
and then ruins the mental atmosphere
! OF the home by her moods ana by her
arbitrary rules, is in my estimation far
/ worse than the insolent ana neglected.
mother who lets others bear her burdens
but keeps placid and good-natured
! have seen a home spoiled by a good
| housekeeper and a careful economizer
! who made the meal hour A slime 70 dread
for every member OF the family.
! II anyone CHANGED 10 be ten minutes
! late it led TO lecture upon the care and
! toll which had been bestowed unon the
preparation for the repast and the ne
cesSity Of its being partaken while
fresh and hot, and the inconvenience IL
! caused othsrs-herself or the domestics-
TO have members OF the famIl late and
so on and so on. forever, like TeunysonS
| rapture compared 10 listening.
brook. until starvation would have been
How much kinder it would have been TO
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