Smyrna times., 1899-06-07
YOU CAN'T BEAT EN-,
THIS WAS JOBSONS CONCLUSION
ABOUT WOMEN IN GENERAL.

II Was Prompted by "a Midnight Ex-
perience With His Wife. In which
the Revenge That He Had Planned
So Well Went Sadly Astray.
Mr.. Jobson got home from his Office
at 4:15 one afternoon not long ago and /
found a note from Mrs. JObson saying
that she had gone to hear the perform
ance of long seired pianist and that
he'd find his dinner all ready for the
girl TO serve it.
''That's a good thing, too" mused
Mr. JObson sulkily when he had read
the note 'It' .a,wonder these mattress
headed geniuses that come over here to
this country and rake in American dol
lars, hating Americans all the time,
wouldn't call their game at an hour
that 'ud permit tOiling mans wife to
be on hand at hcme to give him some
thing to eat when he wants it, >" etc.
The opportunity was too good for
Mr. Jobson to miss, so he declined to
eat any dinner when the servant put it
on the table. Instead he slammed on
his hat and went down town
He wanted to give Mrs. JObson les
son. He ate an unsatisfactory dinner at
9 restaurant and then poked around
until it was time for a variety theater
70 open its doors. He had to watch
lot of poorly played billiard games in
order to put in this time and to talk
with a lot of bachelors, from whose
ways of thinking he had departed.
He was bored exceedingly by theater
time. The show bored him still more
but he stuck it out, for he wanted to
get home as late as possible, the better
to rub it in on Mrs. Jobson. By IL
o'clock he reflected that he had had
pretty poor sort of an evening-his
evening paper unread, his favOrite pipe
neglected for lot of cigars that gave
him heartburn, a poor dinner. idle talk
with a slew of men that he didn't want
10 talk to- and finally tawdry, cheap
variety performance that might have
got a laugh out of him tel years before,
but was only so much ribaldry to him
now.
He took in a couple more billiard
games, however, after the show and
threw couple of cocktails into him
self, not because he cared to drink, but
because he wanted Mrs Jobson to smell
his breath and thus perceive the awful
consequences of her conduct.
Mrs Jobson was comfortably tucked
In bed when Mr.. Jobson got home
about half an hour after midnight. She
had not even left a light burning il
the vestibule or in the bedroom. Sht
woke up very leisurely when Mr.. Job
son started one of the gas jets going
She didn't say anything. however.
Mr.. Jobson had expected TO find he
up, fully dressed and in tears. He wa
disappointed He was more disappOint
ed that she didn't greet him with re
pinings- Mr.. Jobson saw that she wa
likely to go to sleep again and that b
wasn't causing any grief at all by be
ing naughty and keeping still. So b
cleared his throat and said:
'Did he play the buck dance concert
in q minor with his hair and how wa
itP'
There was a lot of sarcasm in I'll
way Mr.. Jobson asked this question,
Mrs Jobson didn't turn over at all.
"What are you talking abOutl" 81
inquired sleepily.
Il want to know if that Dutchma
that kept you away from your duty
serving a meal to your husband aft
his day Of grinding labor gave you yol
moneys worth; also if you think you l.
making any kind of a hit with any boo
by these methods, hey p
"Oh. the recital that's what you
speaking of. isn't it?' said Mrs. JobsC
sweetly "Well. didn't go. l had i
tended to go when l started ont sho
ping in the morning and left the nc
for you telling you so, but | thought
might annoy you to have me aw
from dinner, and so, when | cOnclud
my shopping about o clock this aft'
noon, decided not to go to the recit
The Fourteenth street car that brOug
me up town passed the car that to
you down town. / saw you on the {
and wondered why yOu were going
that direction. suppose yOu had to
back to your Office to work. It's shan
full the way they're OverwOrking "
you poor old thing" and then NJ
Jobson, who knew that Mr.. Job;
hadn't been working at his office. turI
over and subsided into dreamy slumb
"You can't beat en-, thought
Jobson when he got into bed. He '
thinking of women in general. Wa
ington Star.