The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-09-30

The reunion brought out story on
Topeka old soldier which is not told in
his presence.
The certain old soldiers name was
Tim and he was Irish. He never lost
chance to run and to run to the rear
when the regiment went into battle
Just before a battle the colonel of the
regiment stopped him and said; Tim
if you run during this fight, I'll shoot
you in the back"
Sure and I niver rum said Tim
But you do said the colonel, and
some day you will stampede the whole
regiment"
Tim.
when things were getting pretty hot the
colonel gave the order lie down"
That left no one standing in front of
Tim and he ran for the rear as fast as
he could go. He came to a big stump
and threw himself behind it. Later the
regiment retreated and there was Tim
behind the stump.
What did you run for. you coward"
Sure, colonel said Tim, you said
light out and everyone laid down but
me-"
The old veterans who have been here
this week told many good stories at
the camp fires of incidents of the Civil
war.
One of the stories was that of a fam
GUS foraging expedition in Missouri.
The corporal of a company took half
a dozen men one night and started after
eatables. They took a big wagon with
four mules intending to bring back a
load of corn. Corn was scarce and the
farmers hid it. At the first farm no
corn was found. The cribs were empty.
There was a large hay stack, but they
did not need any hay. One of the men
was rummaging through the barn when
a savage bull dog took after him. The
soldier ran for the hay stack to climb
Id
he gained the top he found it unusually
solid and upon investigation, found
that the hay concealed a crib of corn.
The wagon was appropriated and the
bulldog shot.
Butter was a luxury and when the
squad started out it was agreed that
the one bringing back the least amount
of butter should take a turn cooking
back the largest supply of butter the
regiment ever had. After the corn was
loaded each of the soldiers picked a
light in a farm house and started across
the field for the light.
The corporal took what he thought
was the nearest light, but he was ready
to say when he got back that he walk
ed three miles. When he came to the
light he found that it was a school
house with a dance going on He made
for another light and found a farm
house. He crawled into the spring
house without being seen. He was
afraid to strike a match for fear the
light would attract attention. He felt
around and found a large crock. He
took the cover off and stuck his finger
in. 1t was filled with butter. He lifted
it and found it weighed about thirty
pounds. A rich haul. Butter enough to
feed the regiment for a week and he
would not have to cook, for no one else
would find that much butter.
He started back to the wagon with
the butter. 1t was heavy. His arms
ached and he had to stop and rest sew
eral times. He was the first to reach
the wagon and hid the jar of butter IN
der the corn. Soon the other foragerS
returned with butter in all kinds of
dishes, coffee pots and even flour sacks.
When the camp was reached the cor
poral told the rest to wait till he dug
his jar of butter out from the corn. He
did. The soldiers saw the size of the
jar and sent up shout. The corporal
took the cover off. 1t was soft soap.
ct went down to the Emporia street
fair said Ananias Fisher last night.
as he sat on a bushel basket and
mended his harness with a piece of
wire. I'm not go to any more sech
things" he continued.
why, I most got killed. A mans life
isn't worth 20 cents at such places. I
was walking down street to find place
to see the parade. 1 saw a nice looking
carriage standing near the sidewalk
The horses had been unhitched and ia
ken away and the people We're sitting
in the carriage to see the parade. I
leaned up against the front end Of the
vehicle to rest.
Pretty soon the thing slipped It
was standing on down grade and was
just going to run down hill with all
those people in it I grabbed it to stop
it. could not hold it So I put my
shoulder against it. It was too much
for me- I holered for help.
THE fellow in the front seat had a
dinner bell with him and commenced
ringing it to call a policeman. I braced
myself but the gol darned thing was too
heavy and I could not stop it. A police
man came running up.
" Come here and put a stone under
the Wheels I yelled.
me.
like, not when that thar young woman
is about to be dashed to death when
this thing reaches the bottom OF the
hill
1.-THE fellow in the seat kept ringing
his bell and hollering for me to get out
of the road and I kept a showing back.
The policeman grabbed hold of me to
pull me out of the way but I hung on
Another policeman came and the two
just dragged me away and that thar
carriage went on down hill and the
crowd laughed. When the blame thing
got to the bottom of the hill it turned
around and came back. 1t was one of
them horseless carriages and thought
it was running away. III stay at
home"
It was during the reunion that an old
soldier from the country went into a
restaurant and perched on one of the
high stools
"Pork. roast beef, mutton, baked
heart. chicken stew. boiled ham, baked
beans or pot roast?" yelled the waiter
al him as he slid the ketchup toward
another ''mealer.'
.'Eh. not so fast" said the soldier
The waiter called the roll again and
added picked pigs feet and calves
brains.
4 reckon I'll take roast beef" said