davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1899-08-15

The favorltc sport OF the NIikado Is horse
racing, but hc allows no betting.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1899-08-15

r. u. NalthrlIN Co.. Druggists Horse Cave.
NY" say: Htll'- Cntlrrh cure cures every
one that takes it, Sol" hy Druggist. ,lc.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1899-08-15

Chief among the melon pests are
bugs and boys. Mosquito nettingand
weak solution Of paris green serve
ctiectually for the former, but are hard
ly applicable TO the uuprincipled
youngsters who take the conceit ont of
viGilaut and enthusiastic melon grow
crs. 'What to do with emp" is in
deed a problem. Hypodermic infu-
sions have their merits and dement's.
rs the results of "doctored' frnit NAV
not he attributed TO the rightful cause
and the lesson designed in consequence
lost
\ very good plan is to incloso the
patch with strong, but invisible Irvine,
carrying 1t over the top of ton-inch
stakes, holding the same in place by
double pointed staples on the top of
each stake. Two cords should be
used, fastened at the same point, but
running in opposite directions and
brought together ut convenient point
and thence carried directly into the
owners bcd-chamber, where bell is
so attached that slight pull from the
outside will arouse the soundcst
sleeper. Side lines must also he at
toched to the main circuit and each
furnished with a rousing old sleigh or
COW bell.
An attempt to enter the patch is
likely 10 raise not only the owner but
the immediate neighborhood, and few
boys Will stop to await the results of
an unexpected chime of bells. Catch
| ing the rogues ia far less important
/ than saving the fruit, and this scheme
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1899-08-15

1t is the only cure for Swollen. Sr,art
Ing. Tired, Aching, Burning. Sweating
Feet, Corns and Bunions. Ask for Aliens
Ioot-Ease. powder To- Ice shaken into the
shoes Sold 10y all Druggists. Grocers ana
shoe Stores, 25r. Sample sent FREE Adj
dress, Allen s. Olmsted. Leroy. y. Y.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1899-08-15

Nang-Tu, China'S delegate b. the Peace
lonErcss, was Cducn TOD nl IlArNMn.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1899-08-15

Take Ctscarcts Candy Cathurtic. Ice or CSC
c. Z. {. fan TO cure, druggists refund money
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1899-08-15
Don't Tobacco Spit and Smoke Your Life Away.

To quit tobacco easily and forever, be mag.
netic, full OF life nerve and vigor take No-'To.
Dac, the wonder wor,,cr, that rnaiscs weak men
strong. All druggists, soc or q. Cure Guaran-
tecd. Booklet and sample free. Address
Sterling Remedy Co, Chicago or New York
The Able Peros has resolved 10 decline
choir. ''P"'
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1899-08-15

- cannot speak too highly Of Pi-o's Cure for
SohSumption. Mrs. FRANK MOBBS 20 w 22d
ST., New York, Oct. - lsgi
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1899-08-15

Lady Colin Campbell is one of the best
icnCeTs in ENGLAND
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1899-08-15

Or. Samuel Il. Wiuan-. the new dean of
Princeton, Is not a clergyman.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1899-08-15

., Mheh 'aptatn Coghlan was I'm command of
Ino haIelEh ne was the smallest man i'm
stature on that ship
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1899-08-15

Educate Your Bowels with Cnscnrots.
Candy CathartiI, cure constipation forever
lOc, 25c II &. c. O. fail. drugE SITS fund money
When Colonel Little. of Kansas. returns
rom the lhilippiuc- he will marry girl lac
left behind him"
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1899-08-15

No-To- Bac for Eirty Cents
Guaranteed tobacco habit cure mates weak
men strong, blood pure. soc, ~. All druggists.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1899-08-15

Mrs. Ninslow's Soothing Syrup tor children
l. cthlng, sOitcuS the gums. rcduciu. unamiun-
uch' aIlays pain, cures wind collie. 10. "a bottle
William Dean Howclls has taken to golf as
recreation.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13
APHORISMS.

The man who pardons easily courts
injury .-Corneille.
Good order is the foundation of all
good things.-Burke.
Good manners and good morals are
sworn friends and fast allies.-Bartol.
Nothing dies so hard or rallies so
often as intolerance.-H w. Beecher.
The jest loses its point when he who
makes ii is the first to laugh. Schiller.
If n man empties his purse into his
head, no one can take it from him.
Franklin.
To tremble before anticipated evils Ia
to bemonn what thou hast never lost
Goethe.
Toll and pleasure, in their nature OPP.
posities, are yet linked together in a
kind of necessary connection.-Livy.
Fate never wounds more deeply the
generous heart, than when a block
heads insult points the dart.-Johnson.
The best portion of good mans life
is his little, nameless, aforementioned
acts of kindness and of love.-Words-
worth.
1t is only an error in judgment to
make mistake, but it shows infirmity
Of character to adhere to it when dis.
covered.-Bovee.
lie who is not liberal with what he
has does but deceive himself when he
thinks he would be liberal if he had
more.-W. S. Plumer.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13

The woman had been carried bloch
beyond her corner, and as she finally
caught the conductors attention ant
got the car stopped she looked at hin
in a way which twenty men prompt,
understood. A dozen hats were raiset
and dozen men rose up, but there il
always a leader In this case he mo
toned the men TO sit down and said Il
the woman as she slowly descended:
"Yes'm, you bet | will! I've got I
soft-corn, sore throat and headache
and all wanted was decent excuse!
"Thank you" she replied.
Not at all, ma'am-happy to accom-
modate," and he worked his way bacl
to the platform and opened such flov
of cuss-words on the conductor tina
after going five blocks further the cur
rent grounded and the car came to ;
stand-still.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

The Lutheran church in Iceland has
about 12,G00 members, or about the en-
tire population,
The Dominican friars in the Philip,
pines have begun the publication of a
newspaper under the title of the Lib
ertas for the purpose of defending the
brotherhood
The instruction of each student costs
the French universities about 81
francs per anuum ON an average, There
are 10 universities, with 2J0S) students,
Of whom Paris has 12,051,
Queens university, situated in Kings
ton, is the only Canadian institution
Of higher education under the immc-
diate care of the general assembly of
the Presbyterian church in Canada,
The 90 Sunday schools of the Re
formed church, with an enrolment of
$4,000, contributed last year ST., 9S9.4j
for foreign missions and IS, 1857 for
domestic missions, besides giving
$l52.S5 for educational purposes,
\ working miner in coal pit in Sep.
TENDER, 1890, a master Of arts Of Lon
don university in June, 1s9G--that is
the remarkable record of Thomas Rees
NJ, ~, who has just been appointed to Il
professorship at Brecon college, one
of the leading theological institutions
in the principality.
There are not far from 130,000,0cC
Mussulmans under British power
making Great Britain the greatest Mo
hammedGn power on earth. About So,
COO,00O of these are in India and the
bulk Of the rest are in Africa. The Hin
docs are gradually going over TO Mo
hammedanism because of the absence
Of caste restrictions, all men being re
rarded rs equal among MohammedanS
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13
Home Seekers Excursions Via "biS
Eour Route."

To the North, West, Northwest, South
west. South and Southeast, Selling dates;
August 18th, September 9th and 18th; and
on October Sd and 18th, 1899, at one fare,
plus $500 to authorized points in the tol'
lowing states: Alabama, Arizona, Atkan'
sas, British Columbia, Colorado, Florida,
Georgia, Iowa, Indian Territory. Idaho,
Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Michigan,
Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana,
Manitoba, New Mexico, Nebraska, North
Carolina, North Dakota, Oregon, Okla
homa, South Carolina, South Dakota, Texas,
Utah, Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming
ticulars as to rates, routes, tickets, limits,
stop-over privileges, etc, call on Agents
big Four Route or address the under.
signed w, p Deppe, A. G, p, & T. Agt,
Warren j, Lynch, Gen, Pass. & Tkt Asto
Cincinnati, D,
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13
We've All Been There ,
by NJ. QUAD. Copyrighted.


When the lame aud deiected-looking
man had finally got seat in the caI
ne seemed to feel that some explanation
vas due the passengers, and he said:
81 didn't go down with a bridge, and
| wasn't blown up on steamooa ]
was simply run over by bicycle. As
none of you may have ever come 10
cortact with one of those vehicles Il
viii perhaps interest you to-"
SAY" interrupted the man on his
eight, you can't tell me anything
about It.. was run down about three
months ago, and left my cane at home
to-day for the first time. No use to
go ON and describe to me how took d
Jump about seven feet high, and then
landed on my ear on the pavement with
my legs tied in knots. I've been run
over by butcher cart, but between
Che two I'll take the cart every time"
sand don't need to be told the SEN
SationS," added the man on the left,
ITS only about month ago that J
was crossing the street at night, Along
can't Il bicy cler without lamp and he
was just humping himself The wheel
didn't seem to hit me in any particu'
AR spot, but all over. | was knocked
'oto the middle of next week and lay
there for half an hour, and I'm feel.
Ing sore and lame yet. OF course the
man on the bike didn't suffer the least
injury. They never do, you know"
II was going along, you know" con.
tnued the lame mani was going
along about my business, when"
"lieing run over by one bike amt
enough to raise fuss about" inter-
rupted man ACROSS the aisle. III
stirred you up some, of course, but you
wait until you've been struck by tan
dem going like a cannon ball! Then
you'll have story TO tell. was driv'
ing out with my wife, and l got out
Of the buggy to pick up my lost whip
That tandem came smoking around a
corner, and as l Strengthened up with
The whip in my band the heavens and
the earth came together with a crash
and midnight darkness was upon the
land. Two ribs broken, shoulder dis
located and one of my knee-caps frac.
tured, and my whole body generally
bruised. The shcck didn't even throw
the fellows off the tandem. 1t just
checked 'em for second, and as they
uap4 an nna of tbo would ha ,,,ttrd q p,
ers threw kiss at my wife! Don't &C
TO giving us any vivid yarn about being
run over by common bike, for its
nothing to brag about"
81 was knocked down by one" re
marked timid-looking woman.
"Aud so was l." added the big woman
with satchel.
"And !, too"
"And l."
In fact there was only one person il
tile ear who hadn't been made vie
tim. He seemed to feel his position
and when everybody looked at hin
askance he rose up and bowed and said
1--WE been expecting to be run dow
every day for year past, but hav'
somehow escaped. However, just be
fore | left Texas | had herd of SOL
steers run over me, and as near as
can calculate 795 Of 'em stepped OF
some portion of my body"
Then everybody looked at the LAM
man to see if he had anything more {,
say, but he hadn't, and neither did any
one sympathize with him.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13
THE GRAND BRACE,
Pathetic Plea of the Bibulous Head
of the House Next
Morning.

One of the Bohemian citizens Of the town
went home the other night after having
donned a pair of skates that would have slid
him over an Arizona desert with the mer
curry bubblng out Of the top the thermom.
eter. He had no recollection of how he got
home, and even the next morning he was
not certain whether he was on a storm
tossed Atlantic liner or making leap from
a balloon minus parachute. He went
down to the breakfast table with enough wet
towels wrapped around his head to make
a turban for the mahdi His wife met him
with reproaches in her eyes, but she did not
scold him. She wanted to inform him of his
conduct the night before however.
MY DEAR" she said, did you know that
you came very near killing us all when you
went to bed last night?'
Nope said her husband, thickly, as he
felt his hot forehead
We'll, you did. You knocked over the
baby's cradle. Then you blew out the gas
and we were nearly asphyxiated What do
you think of that?"
Her husband is usually resourceful man,
but the fumes OF many cocktails taken the
night before somewhat clouded his intellect
He made grand brace and tried to look pa
thetic.
"M'love," he said, as ray of inspiration
burst through his foggy brain, wasn't
here to die with you?'-Washington Post.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13
RenanrI,n hIe nlnnt.

4 certain Mexican cactus is eaten by
Indians during their religious cere-
monies. to incite visions. An English
naturalist. DR.. Dixon, has been testing
upon himself its extraordinary proper
ties, and reports that the air seemed
flied with vague odors of perfumes, a
halo of musical sounds surrounded him,
and marvellous display of everchang-
ing brilliant colors passed clearly be-
fore his vision.-- Chicago Chronicle.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13
STORY SOUNDED WELL
But There Was Reason TO Relieve
That 1t Was Not Wholly
True.

"When | first went west" tells retired
business man, who now does nothing in the
way Of work except to NOW the lawn and
see that the cat is in the barn at night,
",tis manned hand saved my life"
is that soy" asked the visiting neighbor;
who knew that this form OF invitation would
be sufficient to insure the story.
yes, that's right. II hadn't lost that
first finger when was boy wouldn't be
here now. Jim Dixon and me were tradln'
with the Indians. We exchanged beads, ia Ike
jewelry and bright calico for furs, All the
buffalo were not gone then and we did a
good business. One time we happened to
strike a wandering band of savages that
held us up on sight and it was plain from
the way the red devils danced around us
that we were to be put to death alter the
Indian fashion. All at once recalled that
a good many of the Indians knew me as the
'four-hngered trader who was always on
the level with those wild merchants, so |
held up the hand and kept it up till one OF
the young bucks let out significant grunt
and then hurried to the chief in command.
rHe came to me in dignified manner, ex.
amined the hand, grunted about 10 times
while celebrating, said How and released
me as well as my partner. We were treated
right up to the handle and permitted to de-
part when we wanted to. 1t was the closest
squeak and the worst scare had out IN that
country when near calls and heart'falure
frights were the rule"
Brave man" said one neighbor to an
other, as they walked away. =,
Yes, regular big injun, If You accept all
he tells. Between me and you he lost that
finger two years ago while examining hay
cutter. detroit Free Press.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13

A railroad official in recent lecture
stated that it cost his road each year
about $1,000 for pins; $1,000 for rubber
bands; $4,000 for ink; $1,000 for lead
pencils-olso that II cost nearly as
much for stationery to carry on the
business as for iron.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13
Queerncss of Men.

It's wise child that knows its own father
when it sees him out in company
1t doesn't take much of man to tell how
a thing ought to be done. The one who goes
and does it deserves the praise.
The man who goes to church may not en-.
JOY the sermon, but he generally goes home
with a good appetite for his Sunday dinner.
It is claimed by some people that badness
indicates great brain power, but the makers
OF alleged hair restorers keep on getting
rich.-Chicago Times Herald.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13
Irony.

"Dd We liver notice mon from st. LOUISE"
inquired the janitor philosopher. Twill, il
ye didn't it's worth yer whole. Up TIL
boulevard he struts wild hid Elevated. Sud.
dinly thor big commotion an he's lift.
ed off his fate by an autymobile, He picks
himsilf up, goes home an tills his frinds tn
horselss carriages av Chicago are run by
jackasses; but thot, tn jackasses are insoide.
Oh, he's bitter lobster. Chicago Evening
News
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13
VERY OBLIGING.
He Was willing 10 Give the Vol
cnnic Vocalist a Good Hard
Shove.

The young man who sings loud and long
was interrupted by tap at the door oil MS
apartment.
Excuse me-" said the tall, thin stranger
81 am sorry to ntrude. | occupy the fiat
under you, and have come up to inquire
if you are the gentleman who sings bal
lads"
Yes" was the answer, with the AIR o!
man who is modest, but cannot deny the
truth. Are you fond of music" -,
81 don't know that am what you would
call fond of it. At the same time haven
anything particular against 1t. l am very
much affected by some things ! hear"
THAT amounts to the same thing as being
fond Of it," was the answer, in a tone OF
soothing encouragement.
II have been wondering il ! caught the
words of your favorite song correctly. Let
me see:
"How often, oh. how often,
Have | wished that the ebbing tide
Would bear me away on its bosom
To the ocean wild and wide
Is that right"
"Yes; it's all right, according to my reco
lection. Is that one of the pieces you are at
fected by"
yes. | have been affected by that for
hours at a time. 1t has drawn me irreslst'
IDLY to you. 1t has filled me with yearn-
ing to do something that would make you
happier. And | called up to say that IT
you'll come down to the river with me any
evening III pay your car fare and hire
boat and give you a good start on the first
ebbing tide scheduled, And | don't mind
saving that the further out it bears YOU the
better III I've satisfied Washington Star.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13

ooh, that should have married funny
mani" she walled. "What is the matter,
lovely, dear" asked her most intimate
friend "He came home and told me he had
a sure way to keep jelly from getting moldy
at the top, and when l asked him how, he
said turn it upside down. Boston Tray.
eler
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13
The Pessimlst.

The pessimist looks in the sky,
And II cloud be there
He straightway heaves a doleful sigl
Because It isn't fair.
Or II, perchance, no cloud appear,
He gravely shakes his head
And groans: UNLESS 1t rains, fear
The crops will soon be dead"
Chicago Times-Herald.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13
Music for Nervousness.

Some scientists have claimed that music
has the power to soothe the nerves. But the
quickest way to cure nervousness is to
strengthen the nervous system. We know
of nothing which will accomplish this quick
err than Hostetter's Stomach Bitters. 1t is
the one medicine that is successful above
all others in the treatment of blood, stomach
and liver diseases. Do not take substi-
tute. See that a private Revenue Stamp
covers the neck of the bottle.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13
Mnde Part of the Trip.

Papa" asked Willie, "has Mr.. Jig.
gers ever crossed the ocean,
Never" replied the old gentleman.
"Well, how did he get back?"
Get back, What do you meanY
"Why, twice I've heard you say you'd
seen him half seas over."-Chicago
Post.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13

There's the smartest little woman
that ever took hold of this servant girl
problem" said the old gentleman,
pointing with pride to his only daugh.
ter.
"How's size going at it?'
"Gettin' up popular song to idealize
dish washin'. Detroit Free Press.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13
DOCKS IN JAPAN.

At Kobe dry dock is being built in
sand atenormous expense.
There are number of large docks
scattered around Japan, and all are
owned by japanese.
At Yokohama there is dock which
was cut out of soft rock about yeal
ago, and now another dock has jus
been finished alongside. A large engine
and boiler shop are annexed, and all
are owned by the same ship-building
concern.
The government has number of
docks, but no particulars as to their
size are obtainable, but short time ago
a large English man-of-war was sue
cessfully locked at one OF the govern
ment docks. The method OF construc-
ton Of most of them is interesting.
They are nearly all cut out of soft rock
which can be cut with pick the same
as n piece of chalk.
Nothing on earth is SO terrible as the
fear of it.
One Of woman's pet economies is say.
Ing string that she never uses.
1t is noticeable that persons with
false teeth do not enthuse over green
corn.
The ideal man is not the one that
makes the best everyday sort of hus.
band.
Babies are brought up on the bottle
and men are brought down by the same
means.
If the telephone girl became engaged
every ring she receives there would be
trouble.
Housekeepers who prate OF table but
ter could leave off the first letter and
be more truthfully descriptive.
The feminine server in cheap res.
taurant calls herself waiter girl; the
one in wealthy family, waitress.
Some of our friends are so dependable
they never come to see us but we
may be certain they want something
from us.
What's the use of crying over spilled
milk, or of sour milk, either, when the
cook tells you that the latter is just the
thing for breakfast cakes.
1t is u foolish bride who insists upon
her husbands treating her on theil
wedding trip as though they had beer
married ten years-he is so quick &c
acquire bad habits, you know.-Phila
delphia Times.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13
Not So BAD.

"How did the family come out in the mat.
ter of settling the estatey" was asked of one
of the brothers.
Might have been worse, but we finally
succeeded in eifecting a compromise with
our lawyer by which he agreed to let US
have hall. N-Detroit Free Press.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13

I,rown-I don't believe would fancy
going with a party in search of the
north pole.
.ycres-- 40; ! would feel safer with
re,ief expedition, They sometimes get
tsfl. Chic State Journal.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13
Family Pride.

The Husband-But we can't afford to keep
carriage.
The Wife-I know we can't, but / want to
show that stuck-up Mrs Brown that we can
have things we can't afford just as well as
they can.-N. Y. journal.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13

Knew His Capacity.-"Poor Bilkins is
dead He drank 4 gallons Of straight whis
ky, IA high balls and half keg of beer
night before last" us that so? What was
the cause of his deathy"-Chicago Times
Herald.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13
What He Had,

Guest-What have you got?
Waiter-Ive got liver, calfs brains, pig'a
feet.
Il don't want description of your phys.
ical pecuiarities. What you have got to eat
is what want to know. boston Traveller.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13

Fact in Physiology.-"Ihey say man
who turns pale when he gets mad is the most
dangerous" Il guess that is so. A man
rho is scared nearly out of his boots will
put up an awful fight. "-lndianapolis Jour
nal
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13

You have several dollars worth Of old
clothes that are good but soiled, Dye them
over with Putnam Fadeless Dyes and they
will be new again. Only takes one hour and
they will not stain your hands or vessels.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13

Huntley-"Funny thing, that elopement
of Miss Longwaite and Young Shipper" Au.
thor" Elopement? That was an abduc.
tion!"-Philadephia North American.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-10-13
Can't Succeed.

Some men are so deficient in the elements
Of success that they would never set the
world on fire even if the world were insured
in their favor.-Detroit Journal.