Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-12-28
THE COOK WHO
NEVER CANE,

Jul" "uun"u thc inrHnlsc Phrk WIS
club was formed. 1t was notable feast
bus more hilarity was contributed to tn,
occasion at Mr.. Judson's expense than
he altogether relished And there was
more or less constraint between Mr. Jud
son and Samuel Parker, although Mr
Parker did his best to be conciintory
and signed his affidavit that the pcxt
time he was caught at large without his
spectncles he would submit to arrest as a
public nuisance.
MIR. Parker Is nearsighted almost TO
blindness. and II was the breakage of
his spectacles. in combination with his
deafness, which nearly caused a rupture
in his friendship with Mr.. Judson.
Without his spcctacles all coons look
alike to Mr.. Parker. and likewise any
form clothed in skirts represents a fe-
male person OF undoubted loveliness-
which, when you come TO think Of 1t, Is
more In the nature OF blessing than of
an aflliction.
1t happened that the Judsons' colored
cook left suddenly on the morning of the
whist club dinner party. and Mr. Judson
found himself obliged to select another
cook at the intelligence bureau and to
bring her home with him. That was
Mrs. Judson's strictest injunction-to
bring her home with him.
Mr. Judson took great pains In the Sc
lection of the new maid, who was Irish,
and he rather tiattered himself that he
had acquired the real thing in the cook
line.
| Paradise Park is reached by the Har.
| lem railroad. and Mr.. Judson and his
jewel were obliged to board a crowded
trolley car on their way to the station.
In the push he discovered his friend Mr..
Parker comfortably seated and sauint-
ing vacantly ahead because of having
smashed his special spectacles that
morning.
Hello. Parker!" said Mr.. Judson loud
ly. tapping his friend on the shoulder.
why, Judson, how de do?" replied
Mr.. Parker genially. Then Mr.. Parker
realized that Mr.. Judson was accom-
panied by female. She wore tall, black.
waving plumes and most impressive
white front md was typical to all eyes
but Mr.. Parker's blind ones. He gal
lantly arose and offered her his seat.
Then he looked inquiringly at Mr.. Jud-
son.
"She is my new cook" explained Mr..
Judson as quietly as possible into Mr..
Parkers nearest and deafest ear.
:" beg pardonY' said Mr.. Parker
blandly.
This is my cook, Parker" repeated
Mr.. Judson hurriedly.
"Oh. yes. yes. Mrs. McCook," returned
Mr.. Parker, politely raising his hat.
Pretty bad weather for ladies' to be
out" he continued amiaby. "You must
ba ri tp,n
silk lined skirts In order. But perhaps
you belong to Don't Worry club and
are really true philosopher, like most Of
the ladies' these days"
MIR. Parker's department would have
been marked ten in any class in man
ners. and plainly the cook was somewhat
stupefed. though aattered. In the con-
fusion of taking the seat she hadn't no
ticed the error made by Mr. Par |
ker as to her name, though the
nearest passengers were delghtedly |
aware of the blinking gentleman's blum
der. She vaguely moved her lips as Mr. |
Parker looked to her for reply, and that
gentleman, loath to admit his afFiiction,
affected to understand and went right
on talking.
MIR. Judson nervously tried to divert
the conversation.
I'VE hope to see you at the dinner to-
night" he remarked.
"Eh?" said Mr.. Parker. "Oh, yes, yes;
we'll meet ut the dinner tonight. Charm
ing! presume that Mrs. McCook Is in
terested in the new club, then, and is
going to join?" He beamed on the cook.
And Mrs. Judson gives such delightful
he continued coniidentially.
THE goddess of her kitchen is n black
! think myself that Judson
here must make love to her to keep her
interested, don't you know? Ha. ha!
But there's no cook like the old southern
darky. Your Irish girl has a much bet
ter opinion Of herself than is usually JUS
lined, don't you know. And, besides, the
Irish girl always develops such shock
ng bad temper at the most unfortunate
lines. Ha. hap
Now, the cooks ideas had been con- .
sealng slowly. At first she had been
immensely by the polite gentle
mans condescension; then, when he
poke of her joining club, she grew sus- :
'icious. Was he making game Of her. or
we're these respectable people? But there =,
ould be no doubt whatever about Mr.. ,
'arker's sentiments as to Irish cooks. !,
low dared he insult her! The likes of ,,
i'm
A wild CLEAN came into her eye. "An
1t to compare an honest Oirish gurl :.
With nagur! How dar' ye! An tim !.
er, is 1t? Shure. divil's moilder TIM '
err this side O. the wather thin ME own,
hough Oh say 1t that shouldn'tw =
Mr.. Judson longed horribly to stran-
le his friend Parker. Everybody was ',
stening and smiling. Mr.. Parker look :.
as IL he had been robbed of his con- "
ciousness. almost, by the lady's sudden \
nd violent outbreak. " "
why, Mrs. McCook''- he began. -
What dye name be calin me out o. a. a.
lie name" she broke in. me names =,
atherine Roilly, an Oi'm no cuke whin
Pm out O. the kitchen. an be the same =,
'ken it'll not be in yer kitchen Oin ~
ltep me fut. sir, to be insoolted be yer "
i'nds," she wrathfully finished. looking y,
the helpless Mr.. Judson. ~ -,
She bounced up and pushed her way ~
the door. Everybody laughed. Mr.. T.,
idson gazed stonily out of the window -
II minute. ignoring poor Mr.. Parker, N
ho was in that state of collapse you ",
'uld have bought him for a copper. h,
hen, with scorching look at his dis 81
essed friend. Mr.. Judson broke away IL,
ID left the car. m IN
That night caterer served the din in
II. Mrs. Judson hcartlessly told the 90
Dry to her guests. adding much there hi
to the success OF the entertainment
ID to the discontinue of Mr.. Judson.
nd MIR. Parkar nrnmised IN 10 into col