The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-03-09

'
Drinkhorn-Huh Stars that-goes, l.
see two of you this minute. ~Cincinnati
Enquirer.
Virgins was n close shave
General Miles had. wasn't il? Higgins
Why, was he shot at? Wiggins-No,
he had his mustaehe cut olf.-New
York journal.
Eyes. sir said lie man in cell I'll;
"tme was when | WAS admitted to the
very best houses And what brought
you here!n They caught me coming
out. "-Tlt-Bits.
Doctor. don't you think the Illnesses
Of most women are caused by imagina-
tion?' We'll, the cut rates on patent
medicines are responsible for good
many of them"
-year-old4 Pretty useful, amt /,
mamma? Yes, dear.n almost as'use-
fnl as a MANI I'm, yes Il don't
mean Santa Claus or God, but-any or
binary n.n1Harlem Life.
II s'pose you noticed that the war
had quite religious flayorY NO; in
what wayY" "All the yachts were con
verified and many of the rumors were
confirmed. n-Gleveland Plain Dealer.
A Kansas woman says: "Hard-tack
nicely Drowned over a slow fire, and
served hot With melted cheese, is ex-
cellent" Pshaw. Why didn't our sol
der boys think of Richmond
Times.
"And you wouldn't begin a journey
on Friday 2" Not me" Il can't under
stand how you can have any faith in
such a silly superstition" NO supersti-
ton about it," Saturdays payday
Pick Me Up.
Jack-I don't see why you call her
queer girl just because she told you to
see her papa when you proposed. Algy
-Ya-as; but perhaps You don't know
that her papa has been dead foh five
yeahs.-Jndge.
Gerald Would that | We're glove
that l might hold your hand. Gerald
ine-You would make IA good glove,
that's n fact. Gerald-What do you
mean? Geraldine-You are a regular
kid.-Bazar.
Now" said the attorney for the de-
Tense, there is n skull. Can you tell MS
TO what species it belongsT' ITS the
skull,o lawyer" replied the expert
witness. How can you tellE' by the
cheek bones. Rural Home.
She But how can you think I'm pref
ty when my nose turns up 50 dreadful
ly? He-Well, all | have TO say is, that
It shows mighty poor taste in backing
away from such lovely mouth. liar
lem Life.
Philanthropist-Do you believe in
capital punishment may ask? Cynic
i certainly don't. why, how's that"
because l never yet met Il man that
l thought it worth while hanging an
other for."-Exehange.
Customer-Do you think this medl
cine will have the desired effect? Drug
gist-Oh, yes; Ill guarantee it to work
like charm. Customer-But | have
no faith in charms. Druggist-Neither
have l.-Chieago News.
Il tell you" cried Nupop, enthusiast
tlcally, that baby of mine is a wonder.
Think Of it, only eight months old and
can TALK "Pshaw," remarked his
friend, carelessly. I've known some
men that cursed the day they We're
born. '-Brooklyn Life.
"Oh, you needn't talk" said the indig-
nant wife; what would you be to-day
If 1t weren't for my money, I'd like to
known II really don't know, my dear, y
calmly replied the heartless wretch.
but I'm inclined to think | would be
n bachelor. Chicago News.
Mr.. Hayseed arriving at city hoteD-
/ spose kin hear the gong here when
It rings for dinner, can't |? Clerk-We
have no gong. We have breakfast from
six to eleven, dinner from twelve to
six, supper from six to eleven. Mr.
Hayseed- Jehoshaphat. How am l tc
git time to see the eity?-New York
Weekly.
"You didn't fasten your essay will
n due flDDOu, us NOu usually NO. SdlN
1.-The editor of the magazine. mo" an
swered the contributor; my sense OF
harmony wouldn't permit it. This Il
an article on the management of th'
war. tied 1t with red tape. MASH
ington Star.
Casey-Phat? Yez bes hero iv tn
war? Ply, yez niyer lift home. Hen
nessy-Thrue. When OF see thin al
a-rushin' t tn front, cyther fer glory e
fer Doodle, sez OF TO mesilf "Hinnisy
me boy, thrue herosm consists in self
denial. Twill be t yer honor { shta.
nt home an lit tn other FELIX'S reap til
rewards" An so l sthayed.-Life.
Barber Cishlng for "A complimenb-
Did Mr.. Stubbles say anything abou
his visit 10 my place? Nictim-I thin
he did; he said there was somethln
unique about your shaving. Barbe
.,delighted)- he now? Nictim-I Yes
he said that while in the chair 1t wa
borne in upon you in the stronges
manner that you We're. being shaved
after you left 1t was impossible 10 rea
lie that you had been shaved Bosto
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