Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-12-21
The $1,000 Bill.
LRy Leonard Oatman.l


They were out on the veranda in
the cool of the evening, old Caleb Lor-
ing in a rocking chair, smoking MS
corncob pipe; Bertha, his daughter,
swinging in low hammock, and her
husband, Edmond Hackett, who was
perched upon the wooden balustrade.
Wilton Loring was there, too loung-
ing in canvas chair and smoking a
domestic" cigar. The yeranda ran
around three sides of modest frame
house. all painted white with the ex-
ception of it's bright green shutters.
Edmond and Bertha, recently married,
lived there in the outskirts of Wash
ington with the head of the family.
Wilton had run down from Phila-
delphia, where he was cashier OF the
Ranchers National Bank. They We're
all grumbling over their meagre in
| comes.
Uncle Sam" remarked Edmond
| Hackett, quiet, steady-going sort or
| fellow, well advanced toward middle
life, Uncle Sam is not generous to
us boys and girls of the civil service.
| We handle between us nigh upon a
million dollars every working day, and
give our lives to the mill-horse bust
ness for bare existence"
Since I've been cashier Of the
Ranchers' National" said Wilton Lor-
ing, I've had enough money pass
through my hands to make me crazy
with thirst for it. It's like being
Don't like to hear you talk like
that, Wilt, my son, remarked old
Caleb, with quick shake of the head,
as if a mosquito had settled on him.
Thoughts of that kind sometimes
materialize into deeds you'd be sorry
for"
"Humph! I'm not so sure | shan't
one day try to pinch something" pur.
sued Wilton, with a wink at his sister
But big steals are the sort to sue
ceed nowadays. To make a corner in
something or other; to float salted
mine or a bogus building society.
That's the game"
"Tut, TUT" protested the elder Lor-
ing, with fierce expectoration; but
Bertha mischievously took up her
brothers humor.
There's a fine chance now I've got
into the counting division at the
Treasury" said she. Say, now, why
not make up a fa;aily combination
You, Wilton, are cashier at the Ranch
ers', and you're constantly having old
bills to send into tiie Treasury for re-
demption. You 'p!ach,' as you call it,
. a thousand-dollar greenback, and for
, ward the packet to the Treasury in
dorsed as containing one more bill
than it actually does. That packet
, comes to me to be counted and ex'
amined. | just pass it as containing
the number of greenbacks specified
On 1t goes to Edmond, my husband
3 whose duty it chances to be to check
my count. Smart Edmond finds one
bill short; but, seeing his Bertha's
: initials on the wrapper, he just winks
q a little, and the packet, with, say, 9e
bills instead of 100, goes into the
u macerator, Uncle Sam thinking he de
$ stroys 100 bills against the new ones
:, to that value which ne sends back il
y exchange to the Ranchers Banl
II through the Division of Issue. See?'
d "IIa, ha, hal" laughed Edmond
Hackett, disposed to enter into an!
e Joke conceived by his adored littl,
wife. How we could bleed Uncl'
3 Sam, and help ourselves to tn,
salaries he ought to pay us!"
IL Have done! Have done!" burs
/, out the old man. IF l believed m.
Il son and my daughter and my daugh
ter's husband we're capable of sucl
II roguery I'd fetch out my gun and fiji
l. you full Of holes, every one!"
=, He meant it. His usually placi
) features were distorted and purple
J. with indignation, and the stem Of tn
n pipe he held snapped in the angr
-. grip of his fingers. Wilton flung hin
~ self back in a fit of hearty laughtel
but Bertha perceived that the jok
7 had gone too far.
Father! dear father!" she exclain
oil ed, soothingly, You know us all be
in ter than that, sure. We were ju!
IL poking fun; weren't we, Edmond
Besides, such a combination as
i'd figured out couldn't be, anyway"
d, quite impossible!" averred Wilto
-. getting over his mirth.
"' well, l reckon it's impossible
ry the last degree" said Edmond Hac
EFT.
so, as opportunity makes the thie
n and we shall have no opportunity
sr- added young Loring the whole thr,
Id Oh US IL nave 10 De nonest' Will We
~, won't We"
TIL You know, father" urged Berth
.ly to calm the old man, who mutter,
its and protested still. and seemed
'U' have taken fright at the very thong
ID; of a breach of trust, there are nj
ladies in the Counting Division besid
myself, and Wilton's imaginary she
packet might go to any one of the
instead of to me-"
And if Bertha did get it and pa
he it." remarked Hackett, to clinch t
,od argument, there are plenty of f
lows in the Secretary's office W
Gil check the counts besides me, and o
AP hon toll