Omaha daily bee., 1899-05-17
HE HAILED FROM TEXAS.
Loaded with Weird Tales of Condi-
tiOns in the Lone Star State


He was registered from Texas, and the
/ Washington Star reporter, being anxious
| to see Texan from his native heath asked
| the clerk to point him out and at once
proceeded to interview him.
You are from Texas, | believe?" he said
| in his winning reportorial manner, as he
| stood in front of him.
II beg your pardon" responded the gen.
| tleman, with a slight frown
Il am a reporter" hurredly explained
| the interviewer, somewhat abashed land
would be glad to have a little talk with you
| on Texas matters. How are times down
| there?"
'Oh, ah, | beg your pardon" said the
Texan. Il did not thoroughly comprehend
the purpose of your approaching me, and
being somewhat apprehensive of strangers,
| | felt a natural hesitancy, don't you know,
in greeting you with that bonhomie, not to
say comaradieri, so characteristic, l be-
| lteve OF the gentlemen of your profession
Now that am apprised OF your identity l
shall be pleased to communicate any infor-
| nation l may possess, and in response to
your eminently pertinent inquiry l may
say that as far as my knowledge extends
! the times in my political division of the
union are notably salutary"
The reporter wondered if the clerk hadn't
| made a mistake.
Business, presume" he said, is good?"
THE commercial industries of Texas
| responded the gentleman, exhibit most
| encouraging absence of those phlegmatic
conditions which certain individuals, who
are prone to look upon the Tartarean side
Of every entity, have persisted in prophe-
| sying would necessarily follow certain po-
| litical coalescenCes with capitalistic combi-
nations, which it is not eXigent at present
| to designate or discuss. 1t is sufficient to
say that the calamitous climacteric which
they were so bombilatlous IN Illuminating,
has signally failed Of eventuation in my
own or any contiguous communities"
Il am glad to hear it," gasped the re-
! porter. "How are the crops?"
| "As the duties of my vocation are rather
subtegulaneous than eXtraforaneous," an
swered the gentleman from Texas, with
cautious discretion, possibly ] am not en-
| tirely competent to become conclusively
respondent to your indagatons in that di-
rection. However, from the presentments
! Of responsible and reliable delators | am
constrained to believe that our agronomi,
conditions are impeccable, and that predial
profits are no less sure than they will be
/ superlative Indeed, ! am profoundly i'm
! pressed by the resultant efforts OF every
| Triptolemus of Texas of whom it has been
my fortuitous fate to have cognoscence
that agriculture and its concatenated col
/ lateralities in our state is destined to WELD
a plenpotentiary puissance in politics as
well as in all pragmatic and professional
pursuits / have predicted upon this" a
! bell boy here announced that the gentle
man was wanted at the telephone. Par
don me moment" he said, rising to go.
Certainly, certainly" said the reporter,
and as the gentleman disappeared in the
box the reporter disappeared through the
nearest street door. Gee whiz," he ex-
claimed when he reached the open air,
what has ever happened in Texas? Won
der If Boston has slipped cog and dropped
| down that Way?"