Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1899-01-26
SOCIAL PRETENDERS.
Various Val Meth I'll dds Aldoptsd by rarvenu.
rs In England to Deceive the ..': -
- nsuspectimx., - - >

The ways of social prete1iders% are
always amusing and often ingenious.
The query: "''Do you know the
smythe-Hobsons?" ana thereby: "Oh,a
Intimately why, I :dined with them
only two nights ago. are common
everywhere, though they deceive no.
one. In England, however, there are
special forms and devices which: are
particularly interesting" An English
man tells of certain ingenious friend
of his who, when writing letter, in
variably begins with Dear Duchess
Through this he lightly runs his pen
and then proceeds below soberly with
Dear Smith," By means ofthis simple
device he has contrived to advance him
self considerably in. life. .'..s .;ll% = -.
in the earlier'sdays of my London
career continues the. Englishman, II
remember having been much impressed
by an individual who was apparently
acquainted with all the carriage folk
s in town. His hat t was perpetually sont
the move: No sooner had a Carriage
dashed past than he would leisurelyt
bow, at times casually remarking:
Why, there's Lady Baltimore. What
charming woman she is!' or other,
wise making some such airy comment
on the situation: AS matter of fact,
he; was every bit as complete a stran-.
ger to the lady as was myseH.::I groan
when recall the numerous dinners and
other expensive civilities 7 wasted on
this execrable old hulnbug< in those in
nocent days"
Another self-advertiser had once, and
once only! been favored with brief
conversation with a prominent royal
parsonage. Ever afterward he invaria-.
bly, addressed everyone as '''Sir,' coca
sionally, however, correcting himself
and apologizfng on the grounds OF his
long connection with royalty. Still an
other Individual contrives to enter upon
his intimacy with great people Siimme-
.diately on learning Of their: demise. No
sooner do the papers annonce that
s:..sThe right honorable the earl of Scat
termore" has departed. this life than
this fellow straightaWay adopts the
late peer as an old and much lamented
friend. He thrives on these spurious
post-nortem intimacies. ,.ss.s.r.,. {.
The most. surprising scheme accord
ing to American notions, is that Of Mrs.
Somerset Gobbles, a fascinating and
ambitious little lady, possessed Of pret--
zty. eyes and q fixed determination to
make z al her way. up nAthe world. Daily
for weeks did a smart single ,hrough,
am bearing the: royal colors: and,
stamped with: the royal crest display
itself. at her door, and daily for weeks
did the engiopss neighbors grind; their
teeth lthereat. s Some how her : secret.
leaked =sout. She had, !. it . appeared,
.sbribed the coachman into bringing his
masters carriage to do short dut y each:
day outside the door y Chicag of Even.
ing News .,ss.s. Il Y ;.y ,-;ss.
{ -: kicked All Around: 80 :<.:8sy
A correspondence isabeingsPublished
insthe Times on the subject of ssFrench
Feeling Toward Englishme Il. ''s IA Mr.
Jackson has written to that paper to.
repeat that at 7Gaen recently asstudent
went out Of his way to publicly insult
Great Britain. AS a boy I was first for,
some. years atschoo1 in Paris..sI was.
then kicked for being an Englishmah;
latersI was transferred to school in
England, where Twas Kicked for being
"a tFrenchman. Comment is unneces-
sary. London Truth. 4.s5'ss5'
$500 Ideals.
..Ahl If our youth ful IDEAS could but
be realized!''
ssTf thev conld we wn,11d ha c;ro,,.