The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-12-01

dividual who was likely to make
money. soon noticed decided change
in tho manner Of my acquaintance,
professional and lay, toward me. Be-
fore, their attitude had at least been
respectful; now it was, II not con-
temptuous, at least tinged with SUI
perior pity.
Well, put up with it all humbly
enough, but now that my position is
such that these very people who have
treated ME with contumely for so many
years, go about and boast of their in
timacy with me, and are even So kind
as to supply tho papers with the sup
posed details of my private life, will
confess that the pill was a bitter one
for me to swallow. Not that I was al
together without comfort, family fore
seeing the hour of trump that has
come.
Besides, even when We must perforce
do worship to Mammon and bow the
knee to Baal, there are yet consola-
lions. 1t is something to feel with
the Keen instinct which knows no er-
ror that the minds of those contemptu-
Gus scoffers, who think so we'll of them
selves and so ill of you, are to your
mind as the ditch-mud is to the mir
ror rejecting heavens own light; that
IN you there dwells spark CT the
glorious creative fire of which they
know nothing, and cannot even under
stand; and that they, the rich, the re-
spected, the prosperous and unctuously
happy, are as far beneath you, whom
they despise as an unsuccessful dream
er, in all that really tends to make
man divine, as their dogs and horses
are beneath them.
That was how thought in those
days, and think so still, though now
that it is showered in upon me, l do
not care much for that worldwide
praise l used to covet in my bitterer
and more lonely moments, when i'm
minent failure seemed to press me
round like the darkness closing in. 1t
is too rank and too undiscerning, and
much of it is merely tribute to sue
cess and not to the brain and work that
Won It.
In short, as will be understood with
difficulty, being human, l felt all this
neglect Of which 1 have striven to show
the color, pretty sharply, and though I
submitted, and was perfectly able to
analyZe it's causes, it gave my mind
mlsanthropic turn, from which it has
never quite recovered, for the worlds
adulation can never atone for the
worlds contempt, or even for the neg
lect of those around us who make our
world. And thus as time went on l
gradually acquired greater and
greater dislike to mixing in society,
and began to attach myself more and
mere to my studies and to Fanny, who
became by degrees the only person
that l thoroughly trusted and relied
on the world.
When my dear wife had been dead
eighteen months, it occurred to me
that there were Inconvenience attach
ing to our mode of life, and that IL she
saw matters in the same light, it would
be we'll to draw the bond of friendship
and affection yet closer by marriage.
Not that was in love with Fanny
Dennelly in the sense in which the
term is generally used. Indeed, it was
one Of her great charms in my eyes
that it seemed possible to live on the
terms of the closest friendship and
affection with her without any nonsense
OF the sort being imported into the in
timacy. either on one side or the other.
Also, as far as l was concerned, l had
buried all passion of that kind with
my dear wife, and my speculations oc-
cupied my mind far too entirely to
allow of the entry into it of any of
those degrading limitations to which
imaginative and intelligent men are,
oddly enough, especially liable if they
are not very hard worked, probably on
account of the greater irritability and
sensitiveness of their brains.
What l looked forward to in marry-
ing Fanny Denelly was a reasonable
and sensible companionship, entered
into for the comfort of congenial So
ciety and to further the end to which
We udu UOlA OOSOIcO OuE lives. ALSO
wasdesirous of giving my unfortunate
boy permanent substitute for his
dead mother, and one whom he dearly
loved. Accordingly, took occasion
one evening after dinner to speak to
Fanny about the question, before we
settled down to our nights work. This
1 did with some trepidation, for how
ever we'll you may think you under
stand a woman, it is not always DOS
sible to know how she will take mat
ter of the sort. Still 1 put the best
face on it that l could, and talked for
a quarter Of an hour without stop
ping.
All the time she sat still with her
hands behind her head, and her dark
eyes fixed upon my face, and never said
word.
'You are very curious man, Geof-
frey" she answered, with a little
laugh when at last had done.
"Why?" Iasked.
Because you have put the whole
question to me as though marriage
were chapter out of The Secret Of