Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-10-24

Its q queer worl." said the old man,
when YOU come to think it over. You
know | dedicated Jim fer lawyer
Yes
An Bill fer preacher
"EXactly.'
An Tom fer one of these here 1T
erary fcllers?"
I've heard Sc
An Dick fer Il doctorE
Yes"
We'll, now, what do you reckon:
I'm adoin off,
Cant say.
We'll sir. you Tout not believe II. but
I'm a-suppvrtin' OF jim an Bill an,
Tom an Dick, an it keeps me a-goin'
from daylight to dark" '-Atlanta Con
stitutiOn.
"One Of Padelfords best dogs looks just
like him.
Did he ever enter the dog in a bench
show
Just once. The judges threw him
out. They seemed TO think he was !;
ringer. They said he looked TOO much
like some other dog they had seen some
where. cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mrs Murphy-"Oi say, Pat what
would yez do if the ould house would
tumble on yez and crush yez to death q
Her Hushand-"Faith. an Old fly fer
me loife. Ohio State Journal.
The poor country minister is often in
despair about making both ends meet
when his family is large and his salary
small. as is too many times the case.
1t was so in this instance. says the New
York Sun. Even if the salary had all
been paid. he wouldn't have felt over
burdened with riches. but the year was
nearing its end and the church treasury
yawned empty. At the close of the serv-
ice the minister addressed his flock.
rs there any brother who will donate
some straw for my horse? If so. let him
rise He waited; nobody stirred. 1T
might count toward the salary" he add
ed. But silence continued its reign. The
Lord pity the poor beast he said and
dismissed the congregation.
Harry said Mrs. Mcbride. Il want
a $500 piano for Christmas gift.
What discount will you allow me If
get it for you now:'' asked the practical
Mr. McBride.-Harpers Bazaar.
Lone day" says writer in the Bos-
ton Transcript, the mother of Il To-
year-old boy gave him two slices of but
tered bread. telling him to give one of
them to his little sister He carried out
the order. That night when he went to
bed he was evidently disturbed in his
mind and remorseful about something,
and his mother questioned him in a way
TO bring out the truth. II WASH t
nice to Peggy about that bread and but
ter he owned. Why asked his moth
er Did you take the bigger piece"
No he answered, hers was a little
bigger than mine was, but mine was a
good deal butterer.
The Amiable Plutocrat-"But riches
do not bring happiness"
The Unamiable Pauper-"But | ain I
lookin' fer happiness. All / want is com
fort. '-1ndianapolis Journal
Little Marvin Thorncroft is ) and lives
out on Pingree avenue For the last
three or four nights his mother has read
him to sleep. she has used the evening
paper for the purpose, and, of course.
the most she has read has been about
the nations welcome to Admiral Dewey.
The youngster hasn't had anything to
think about but Dewey.
Last night, just before he fell asleep.
he said: Mamma, do you suppose that
if Dewey died they'd put Welcome
sign up over the gates of DE
troit Free Press.
Suspicious Resemblance. = Johnny =
Here's a note from me father TO excuse
me for not comm yesterday Teacher
Your father writes and spells too much
like you, Johnny. Puck.
Whar the Waverlay Nova.c Have