The Vermont watchman. [volume] (Montpelier, Vt.) 1883-1911, 1899-01-18

OFF the COwcetcher. He liked to ride |
there through the tunnele, he said, and |
feel the 'hailstones and Goals of fire. |
raining around him. He was the son |
of an English lord seeing the country. |
That same day tramp was bothering |
the train folks by crawling in under
the cars and getting free rides. AT last
they combined and put him off at
water tank in the middle of forty
mile stretch without tree. AT first he
began cussiDg them for leaving him
where there was nothing to drink, but
when they pointed to the water drip
ping from The tank, he whined and said
If there was even a cracker and cheese
grocery anywhere it wouldn't be 80 in
human. Next day but one 1 saw him
talking to the English lords son on the
platform of the station of large town
thousand miles nearer the Pacific
Ocean. He had evidently caught on
successfully when the first express
came along. l asked the Englishman
what the tramp said to him. He had
monocle, and he clapped it into his eye
and answered.
"'Pon my word, ii was most extraor-
binary, you know. He asked me if 1
could give him the address of the best
hotel in the ethyl You Americans have
the name of rising from poverty to af-
6uence in an incredibly short time, but
this fellow had not even had time to
change his clothesp"
go on" said the man with the pipe.
"Tell another"
"The next one is New York brand"
smiled the Westerner. 81 saw sign
up near Central Park, too, oil Paint
ings and Table Board So l went ex-
ploring over on the east side to recover
from the shock to my Chicago culture.
l was in queer little shop over there,
half cid clio and half dressmaking and
tailoring, and little wizened-up old
man came in, peripatetic genius, who
had bundle of things to sell to the
proprietor. He had long hair, parted
in the middle behind, and combed up
over his ears in the most fantastic
way. One lock had fallen down, and
all the time he was trying to make his
sale kept feeling as if l ought to say,
Miss, your hair is coming down. and
offer him hairpin from the head of
the lady he was trying to sell his things
to. He had some old ostrich tips and
and a shirt waist and linen buster,
about the size for girl twelve years
old, which he exhibited in triumph as "a
grade bargain, whole dress for only
twenty-five cents The proprietor told
him there were no children about the
place to wear such thing, even if it
wasn't cold weather.
"'Dot's pity he said, doing the
pathetic and sympathetic. Dots a big
nitv Won too vO1lno cot little pirl Of
your own, but you no got little sister?
Dots too bad. You mooch better go
adopt girl to be your sister to get
sooch bargain as dot, a whole linen
dress for only twenty i've cent.''
"You see some funny signs over on
the east side, don't your" asked his
hosts sister.
81 don't remember any. l remem.
Der once in Chicago seeing Tobacco
and Periodicals at tombstone store
and under it Ladies and Gents Shroud,
Always on Hand But, of course
that wasn't funny. What was the fun
niest thing you saw ia Spain9" witt
polite Difference TO his hosts sister
who likes to talk about her Spanish
travels.
"Well," she said reflectively, "thert
was an old woman who was our guide
at the palace of the Escurial, vice he
, son, who was showing some other PEG
pie about. She took us to painting
which she told us represented Philil
II. washing the feet of the twelv
, apostles, and she was angry because W
, laughed at the difference in time
New York Sun.