davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening times., 1899-03-07
The innocent Plumber.
(From the Atlanta Constitution. }

''No" said the plumber, 81 don't take advan-
tage of the situation and make fabulous charges
for work The people to blame for that
Just read these letters, will your
He produced half dozen, some of which read
as follows:
III you will fix my pipes before you tackle
Browns, I'll give you $40 extra.
Don't fix Jenkins pipes before mine He's no
frined of yours. / inclose So and hope to see you
in the morning-early.
'P S-Jenkins hates plumbers
The evening times., 1899-03-07
A Be,viIdered Husband.
Rrom the Cleveland Plain Dealer)

(From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.)
The Medium-Do you recognize the spirit as
your wife?
The Stranger-Cant say that l do.
The Medium-That's very strange.
The Stranger-No, it amt. You see. had sew
enteen of 'em, an Brigham KEEP sealin em
to me 50 fast tibet I'll be burned ef had moren
a noddin' acquaintance with some OF 'em. That's
where we ol'-school Mormons got so badly han
dicapped. FL tn sperrit says she's my wiie Jest
as like as not she is.
The evening times., 1899-03-07
Burglary in the Future.

NrTOH tie Detfoit JoufHdi.J
Course me luck.' Kissed the burglar, and fled
into the night.
Bear in mind, if you please. that all crime was
now disease, merely, and all disease the work of
germs.
The burglar perceived in the cellar window
where he tried to enter OF the latest electric
automatic spraying devices, and endeavored TO
avoid it.
But fortune was against him.
click in the dark, and almost before he
knew it he was drenched with gerInicide and
cured of his malady.
The evening times., 1899-03-07
Waiting for Orders.

gTaphed?
Husband-How could I until got your letter
explaining the telegram
The evening times., 1899-03-07
A Thoughtful Young Man.

(From the Cleveland Plain Deaer)
''That young Beesley who calls on my daughter
Laura is strictly business. " .I
''How so?'' -----------.
''Right after the cold snap he sent me three tons
The evening times., 1899-03-07
TUESDAY. MARCH :, 1899
Christian Science Menther.

When Washington arose this morning
from dreams which seemed to have been
disturbed by the howlings OF q mighty gale
and looked out through frosted panes up
on what appeared to be three inches OF
snow. il was presented with an object les
son in Christian Science which it Will, We
think. be slow TO forget. For what said tbs
Christian Scientists in the Weather Bu'
The evening times., 1899-03-07
Our Expanded Territory.
(From the Detroit Free Press.

Mrs. Bilkins (reading)-Eere is an account,
John, of a terrible hurricane in the Cayman Isl
ands; people killed, and the country generally
devastated
Mr. Bilkins (thoughtfully)-Let me see, do
those belong to us?
The evening times., 1899-03-07
CURRENT HTM0R.
His FaVOrite Brand,

(From the Philadelphia North American.l
Wagnerite-Do you like Tsrnhauser?
Bilbus-Well. | prefer Milwaukee
The evening times., 1899-03-07
CIRCULATION STATEMENT.

The Advertisers Guarantee Company, Of Chi
cag0 hereby certiles that il has, by its expert
examiners proved ard attested the circulation oi
THE TINES. of Washington. ID. c. The dSlis
average PAID circulation for the menth oi jan
Lary. 1899. was 80. i20 copies
Tbs is GUARANTEED 10 the advertisers oi
the country by a BOND OF $4,000 in the Fidelity
and Deposit Company Of Maryland, deposited
with she Northwestern National Bank. Of Chicago.
ADVERTISERS GUARANTEE COMPANY.
BvI r. MASON. President.
The evening times., 1899-03-07
MaideuIy Logic.
(From the Chicago News.)

(From the Chicago News.)
''Millicent spent hall the night making paper
flowers. Why is she in such a hurry to finish
them?''
''Oh, she thought il she hurried hard she could
get all the paper cut before her shears got dull
The evening times., 1899-03-07
Spared That sorrow.
CFrom the Philadelphia, Recor

I
''Well, thank heaven" exclaimed the Spanish
cabinet officer, ''they can't spring an embalmed
beef enquiry We never had any beef at
any stage OF the game"
The evening times., 1899-03-07
Southern Representatives.

Southern Representafiyes.-I is un-
derstood to be the deliberate purpose of the
Republican leaders TO try TO readjust the
representation from the Southern States,
where the negro has been practically dis
franchised. in Congress and the electoral
college. The claim is set up that it is not
fair to deprive the negro of the ballot and
continue TO count him as an ''inhahitant
for the purpose of fixing the basis the
States where this is done are entitled 10.
Some new plan must be devised, Mr.. Han
ma and his friends think, to put an end to
this injustice and inequality. The first
move in this direction will be made, Il is
said at the Republican National Conyen-
tion next year. 1t is proposed in some
quarters TO arbitrarily cut down the num-
Der of delegates TO the National Conven
ton from the South 10 correspond TO the
actual voting strength Of that section
Next year" said Republican today,
who has given the matter considerable
study, will probably be as good time
as we could have TO put our ideas re-
garding the representation from the South
into practical operation There is not like
" to be any contest in the Republican ma
our candidate. Mckinley and Hobart. ac-
cording TO all present indications, Will be
renominated by acclamation, conse4 uentiy
there will be no strife in the convention
over the possession of the Southern dele
gates We will be, therefore in posi-
ton 10 pass upon the matter impartia ly,
and the action OF the convention, what
ever ii may be- will not effect the imme-
diate nominations. BY taking IS or 100
delegates from the South we will have es-
tablished a precedent and given us some
! thing 10 work upon when we bring the
| question up in Congress. We can make
| it a party matter and whip our people
| into line by aid of king caucus. | rec
| ognize the fact that il is going to be al
| exceedingly difficult undertaking to ac-
| complish what we are after. namely Il
reduce the Southern representation in The
| House to something like an equality witt
| the North and West. but if we do no
| succeed within the next two years | an
| afraid that we never will. The condition,
favor us today, and you can rest assured
| that the attempt Will be made.
The majority OF the Republicans of tbs
| North have ceased TO get excited over the
! suppression of the negro vote in the South
! but they do insist that in view OF the sup
| preston of the negro vote in that section
of the country the Southern State:
ought to be willing to accept a smaller
representation in the House and also in the
electoral college"
The evening times., 1899-03-07
how dear they are He concludes most
economically with the first stanza slightly
thns.

economically with the first stanza silgnuy
transposed, thus:
They will meet us, cheer and greet us,
Those we've loved whoye gone before,
We shall find them at the portals,
Find our beautiful immortals
When we reach that radiant shore
Observe the rhythm-tum ii tum u tum
ii tumty. tum ii tum Il tum ii tum-it is
as felicitous as a street piano and as quick
IL written as the words of a coon song.
The thoughtful reader is inclined, unless
he has but recently visited the back
woods, to wonder if any human being can
call rubbish like this poetry. If he has had
some experience with certain classes or
half educated Americans he knows that
they not only can. but do; and they may
also see wit in a pun like the "cat tale
pun. But the riddle is just here-why
should a great daily newspaper aid and
abet such things? Why should not a
mission be established so that these be-
nighted ones can learn something about
real literature, instead of supposing that
this scrt of thing is the genuine article?
1t is like serving people beans and burnt
molasses when they think they are buying
coffee
The evening times., 1899-03-07

It might be well for some enterprising
criminologist 10 study the atmospheric con
dltions now prevailing and see If there is
any cause for all the poisoning cases lately
reported. There seems to be an epidemic
of that sort of thing Possibly criminals
have been inspired by the success of the
embalmed beef coup.
The evening times., 1899-03-07

For the District Of Columbia and
Nicinity-GcBerally fair and some
what colder: brisk variable winds,
becoming nOrthwcsterly.
The evening times., 1899-03-07
GENERAL WASHINGTON
NEWS AND GOSSIP.

Census PatrOnage.-The number OF
appointments to be made by the Director
of the Twelfth Census, big and little. viii,
it is said, exceed fifty thousand. There Is
apparently no limit to the number OF
minor census employees that can be EN-
ployed by Director Merriam. This I'M
mense patronage is to all intents and pur-
poses outside of the civil service law. APP
pointments and removals can be made at
will or at the discretion of the chief OF
the Office. The temptation to use this pow
er and to make appointments To serve po-
litical ends will no doubt be very great.
An army of $1,000 or more active workers
might accompllsiia great deal for the par
ty in power, but at the same time there
is another view TO be taken of the mat
ter. Patronage has often been found to De
a source of weakness rather than an ele-
ment Of strength to the party using 1t.
Some wise statesman. once remarked that
every time he obtained an appointment for
a constituent he made one migrate and a
dozen enemies. This is believed to be
largely true, particularly as to the num-
Der of enemies as the disappointed appli-
cants always outnumber the successful
candidate, by more than ratio of twelve
to one. 1t is also pointed out that if Di-
rector Merriam should undertake to or
ganize the Census Bureau into a Republi-
can political machine and degrade It's work
the indignation 10 of the people would
result in untold injury to his party. Di-
rector Merriam has a most difficult and
delicate task before him. If he performs
1t successfully and TO the general satisfac-
tion of the public he will be entitled 10
and will no doubt receive some further
mark of recognition al the hands of the
Administration.
There is one thing that an Administra-
tion can do if it has plenty of patronage al
its disposal; it can control to a very large
extent the election of delegates TO State
and National Conventions. 1t is perhaps on
this account that Senator Hanna and other
Mckinley managers are not seriously con-
cerned over the prospective candidacy OF
| Theodore Roosevelt or any other possible
rival for the Republican Presidential nom
ination next year.
The evening times., 1899-03-07

If Secretary Alger is to be allowed to
name his successor the President might
as well keep him. Nobody wants an AL
gerian endorsement.
The evening times., 1899-03-07

The Times wishes to repeat a suggestion
made some time ago, that people who really
believe that there is no death or disease in
the world should offer their services to the
smallpox hospital. This is good time in
which TO demonstrate that Christian
Science will cure any sort of trouble. and
there is a large field in which to practice.
1t should be insisted, however, that the
scientists who thus devote their time to
the relief OF suffering should be kept under
quarantine the same as other nurses. They
may be of the opinion that there is no such
thing as contagion, but the rest OF the
community does not agree with them.
The evening times., 1899-03-07

One of the melancholy things about life
in this world is that one so seldom has an
opportunity to use hardly acquired knowi-
edge. Most experiences are rather in the
line of that of the man who climbed up
chimney. fell from the top, and broke his
back. His friends said it would be les
son TO him. TO which he very naturally re-
piled that he did not see how, since he hah
but one back to break and could never re-
peat the mistake But now and then the
wisdom bought by one unhappy experience
does come in play, and the present small
blizzard is an instance of this. 1t is un-
likely that this snowstorm will result in
any such general calamity as the great
event of few weeks ago, but it will be a
good thing for everyone 10 remember that
the poor and needy always suffer keenly at
such a time as this, and those of us who
last month experienced the discomfort of
being unable to keep warm will realize
more vividly than ever before that hun
dreds of poor people are shiyering in one
room cabins today. with the snow drifting
over their floors and the wind searching
every crack Let everyone be ready to eX-
tend a helping hand where help is needed.
The evening times., 1899-03-07

One of the things which ought TO be ia
ken in hand by theatre managers is the
disagreeable habit which many people
have formed of interrupting the per-
formance. At one of the playhouses last
night fully two-thirds of the occupants OF
orchestra chairs came in after the curtain
went up. and most of these arrived any
where from fifteen to twenty minutes late.
Almost to the very end OF the first act
people sailed serenely down the aisles and
Obliged others to rise and let them pass
This sort of thing is as great a nuisance as
the theatre hat. 1t destroys the pleasure
of nearly half the evening, and it should
be stopped. One or two noted actors have
made an infexible rule that anyone who
comes in after the curtain rises shall be
obliged to stand at the rear of the house
till the end of the first act. If this were
the general rule thousands of harassed and
weary playgoers would be thankful
The evening times., 1899-03-07

SUBSCRIPTION RATES:
Monthly by Carrier:
Morning. Evening. aad Sunday Fifty Cents
Wor1,ir.- and Sunday. Thiriy-fve Gents
Evening and Srndav. Thirty five Cents
BY Mail: -.
-. Waa;,, E,'ari,,., and s,,;dar. 800
Three Months Morning. Evening, and SUNDAY l. - -
One Year. Morning ana Sunday -.--.--------' 50
~ Mar,i 1t,r,4i- s,,d SUNDAY. -. l.25
~ ~ -. 1T g., 4a,- ~ 400
Gu = rl.; T,Sl'i,'s '''.n S,rS,, 22s
Three Months, Evening and Sunday - =
o5r- ~ I'll -, hc .,conpsnied by sub
ecriptiOr price. 40.
1elephone R:l o.4,n, lGi0
Numbers. C;rr,,'s,io- Dsn.,tmant 2GS
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-10-26
DISASTROUS sToRM ~ JAPAN.
Train Biowu Into RtNcr-Iidni
NnVc EuuuIfs n Town.

VICTORIA. Il. c.. October 25-Intelli-
genco Is brought by the Rinsa Maru,
which arrived here to-day. that the ty-
phoon which the Empress and Senator
passed proved even more disastrous on
land than on sea.
I'm Toxic and Yokohama IT ragged with
great nerceness. Hundreds Of houses We're
wrecked I'm an districts though the storm
seems 10 have been attended with less
loss of life than usual.
a train bound for Fuhushima from
Nvcne encountered a gale OF such vio-
lcnce when crossing the Hokogowa that
3D. WAS blown into the river. II contained
tan cars and two locomotives. The loco
motives. having cut of their coupling
Minis escap,d scathlcss. hut all the cars,
e,rr,inr about l00 pa 'cngers. were pre-
cip,f,fe9 from the bridge. one person
v.,s killed instantly. thirty persons We're
esverolv injured and thirty others slight
f- hurt. ono woman Is reported missing.
Fortunately. the water below the bridge
vvqs not deep. Had II been. all the pas
eourers would have been drowned.
News of another disastrous catastrophe
comes from TaEonaura between Nu
rnadzu and Suzukawa. About o'clock on
October 9Th tidal wave swept over
Tacouaura over DO houses were destroy
ed and 100 people persisted. The neighpor-
hood OF Yosohiwa Meiwa was converted
into an extensive lake. A number of boats
were engaged I'm the search for dead
bodies. Great misery and suffering Pre-
vail among the afflicted people.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-10-26
BRrMBY RETURNS TO ATLANTA.
lie is Enthusiastically Received
sword Presentation To-day.

ATLANTA. GA. October 2i.-Tle ar
rival of Lieutenant Brumby. of the Olym-
pia. here tonight. to receive his
formal welcome into the city. and 10 his
native State. was the signal for a noisy
and enthusiastic demonstration.
4 special train on the Western and
Atlantic road brought him from his home,
at Marietta. Ga twenty miles from At
lanta. where he went yesterday, TO spend
"a short time with his mother and other
relatives.
Tonight he was given reception at
the Capital city club and tomorrow the
presentation Of the sword from the peo-
pie of Georgia will take place. The cere-
monv will occur I'm front OF the state
Capitol and the sword will be presented
by Governor Gambler
Brumby and the Reception Committee
viii then go 10 the reviewng-stand, on
Peachtree street. where military
parade. made up of troops from all parts
of Georgia and many adjoining states
Will le witnessed. The Lieutenant
family are guests OF the city during his
stay here.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-10-26
CAROLINA DISpENSARY FIGHT.
Extreme Bitterncss-LcGisia nay
DO Away with state Institutions

COLUMBIA. 5. c.. October Judge
Aldrich. I'm the Circuit Court to-day
ruled that the State Board of Liquor Con
troll must exhibit TO that court the re-
cords on which the commissioner. ). b..
pouthit. was discharged without a hear
ina The commissioner can be discharged
for cause only, and DOuthit demands n
trial bv the board. His leading attorney,
Colonel George Johnston. was very caus-
tic iu his arraienmcnt Of the board.
Mir ID. a. q. QUITS. the discharged
clerk. has accused the eX-chairman OF
th, board. f. ID. HaZel6on. Of being in
nuenccd by wholesale whiskey houses,
and of receiving at his home quantities
of liquor.
Captain John Black shipping clerk has
accused QUITS OF being spy. thief. ana
"a scouuoreL
The amount Of the liquor business last
year exceeded million and quarter
Tho police provisions of the dispensarN
lazy are grated upon the Constitution
ro sales by the drink. DO drinking on the
premises ro sales AZ night, etc. but the
method Of purchasing is but statute.
The LEGISLATURE will I'm January have
an investigation. and may do away with
the State dispensary, letting each county
buy its own liquor.
There is extreme bitterness between
the factions of the board and their
friends. the development of several years
friction.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-10-26
nAsE-nALL RECORDS.
Percentages Of Leading Ten Pl"H'rS
i'm National League.

.~,. c.,7-
WASiiIN''i'.\' '''.'''
irr records of players who took part In
,,..r,,. or more championship baseball
,..,, Do,,ru.5 bv President
games nave '..,..'. 80 tho
y. J.. f"u'- "' l,i vi IN
leading t.H players "l the uiIe4'H' poSi-
lions follows o,o
frt t.- men, lafke. llllSburs; $50
.fC0Un.r ST. Louis. ">.; plHon. ny IS
'Hrr .>> iicrNI'\- 1lhcl.nall. 't' VI re-
.t.u.. BROOK rn ana washington. .N'' zee
'..l So Louis. 95. Lachance Baltimore,
... Jennings. brooklyn. gNi. Anderson,
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-10-26

officers. Including the former senior port
officer Commander Relitsky. several well
known constructors. marry every vnlel
eneinocr 81 The ships IA Russia's Black
Sea feet the cominissary oficers, ana
others.
Ii is reported that several accused have
committed suicide rather than stand tflal'
for II Judged guilty they woulu pe pan
ishod 60 Siberia.
Vice-Adm.ral Tyrtof. the Russian naval
commander iu the Black sea, - response
bio FOR che arrests He alleges 'haI~the
officials of the various goNerhmnh' nc
nart,,ents f,om SebAstop0l TO NikoiaiCv
have for n long time been engaged IN a
huge conspiracy TO msappropriate tunds
and sell government supplies, covering
their dcfaications by forgery ana sup
prcss,n,, information BY widely-di attributed
hrihes 'rhc affair has created the great
est CONSERVATION.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-10-26
schnnncr Lcrmond In Distress.

PENSACOLA. October 1.-The Ameii-
can schooner. j. 'Lcrmond. Captain Hop
per- which put into port yesterday IN
distress. is I'm q leaky condition. she Is
bound rom Paecaugla for Newport
News.
A survey was held on her. this morn
ing and her cargo Will be iightered for
d further survey. after which she VIII DO
hauled out ON The marine ways 10 nave
fer main deck Caull'ed.
Before she WAS relieved Of portion or
her dcck-lOad it required steam pump
and the entire crew 10 keep her ahoat
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-10-26
NEW YORK. TOBACCO MARKET.

NEW YORK. TUESDAY EVENING,
October 2i-The market for western leaf
is quieter in this quarter but a very good
amount of business o. being put through
quietly. and prices remain firm through
out.
Domestic cigar le9f has continued fairly
active and the market for an varieties
remains firm. without. however, any radi-
cal change in values. The sales reported
include 100 cases 1898 Wisconsin. Habana
seed. on p. L.: 300 cases 1898 Zimmers az
B015ic., and 300 cases 1895 fats at $50
2gc
Foreign tobacco has been fairly active
with prices strong. Sales have taken place
of 20 bales of Habdna az so1s3iac.. IN
bond. and ~ bales OF Sumatra al Sea
SiCj I'm bond.-New York Journal OF
Commerce.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-10-26
GENERAL MARKETS.
NEW YORK pRoDIcE MARKET

NEW YORK PRODUCE MARKET.
NEW YORK. October 2j-Flour-Ruled
firm. but only moderately active. Holders
tried without much success 10 get an
advance of &C., In anticipation OF hlgher
inland freights with November lst close
with an upward tendency Rye Hour ilrin;
buckWheat flour steady.
Northumberland.
COrnmeal-Firm.
Barley-Firm
Barley Malt-SteadN
Wheat-Spot steady: No. red. 752ic.;
options opened quiet ~ decline or Sc.
under local selling IN the absence OF
satisfactory cable and outside support.
and further declined &c. under pearlsh
weather reports and continued llquiqa-
ton. Later rallied sharply, with decided
strength ia corn. and closed strong; May
c,osedt797sc.; December 75iac
Corn-SDOt steady: No. , iOl2c.; options
auiet. aud eased off &c. under disappoint-
ing cables but rallied &c, on speculative
huving. following small receipts. and
closed firm. at "A ret advance VI AueSc.,
Nav closed 3sc. December closed 3siac
Oats-spot steady; No. ?. 29c.; options
Beef-strong.
Meats-Firm
Tqrd-Firmer: western steamed, $50;
refined steady.
nseed-0il-ouet; prime crude. 2jlp
2Cc.
PetrOleum-Firm.
ROsn-Steady.
Turpentlne-QWet
Rice-Quiet
Rufter-Firm: western creamery, l7g
2ic: state dairy, l6iaT Pc.
Cheese--Quiet: large white, i2ulic.
ggs-Steady; state End Pennsylvania.
aoisG2lc.: western ung led. az mark. lip
lSc .. o.
Long Island 81 l2iaGSL1: Jersey sweets.
81 sOfts2: southern sweets. sLl2,z0N. 70.
Cabbage Quiet Long Island, GGSS per
100
Cotton-By steam. to Liverpool, a6i4c.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-10-26
RICHMOND ToEA2Sc aARKET
Richmond. w.. UsSrbsr 23. rs

RichmOnd vs., GTscbsF s. 1N99
No sales on the Exchange to-day. Small
sales Of dark loose we've INSIDE at Cren-
shaw's. ShOCkoe and Stonewal ware
houses. The highest price Of the season.
T.2j. was received for one lot at Sh-ckoe
Private sales to-day We're: Filters. 81:
scraps, s: wrappers. !. Total. II hogs
heads
Warehouse reports show II h0gshcads
Received and % delivered.
Inspections to-day: Bright hogsheads:
dark. hogsheads. Reviews Bright, y
hOgsheads: western hOgsheads.
1nternal-revenue collections to-day To-
bacco. $e6.t4: cigars, Si.s3l3i. Total.
$S.53S7s.
Quotations to-day:
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-10-26

SUFFOLK. VA. October 2j.-(Specia0
The favorable weather this fall has rem
dered fl possible TO ship peanuts earlier
than usual Quotations for the crop Of
1900 are AS follows: Jumbo, fancy hand
picked. Virginia. 44c.; 10. 1 Virginia,
hand-picked 3fc: extra Virginia. hand
picked. &c.,: 40. / Virginia. shslled &C.; No..
Virginia. shelled. Sc; eNra-large VIZ
ginia. shelled 6izc Shelled peanuts are
c0ered i'm limited quantities only. Span
feh nuts not quoted.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-10-26
GRAIN AND corToy EXCHANGE.

Richmond. Va, October %. 1899.
Quotations: Wheat-1.ongberry 20 to
16c.; mixed. 70 10 76c.: shoribcrTy, 70 to
7gc.. No 2 red. Is 10 &c: bag lots. s. to Toe.
Corn-White. Virginia hag lots 90 to
flc.; No. white. 40 TO 40 l-2c.; No. 3
white, 80 - to DC; No. ? mixed. 4oc. !;
No. mixed. % 10 80 l-2c. OaIs-No.
> mixed. - 1-2c: No. mixed, nc; WIN
ter-seed. 55c. Rye-Gj 20 100.