The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1899-09-03
DEDUCTIONS FROM SHOES.
CHARACTER As READ By THE SLEEF.
NO CAR PORTER.

The StinEy Man, says sambo, Doesp't Rus
Over the Soles Wear Out in Spots, 81
Give Him Passenger who Rubs Off tn,
Heels and. Toes and Leaves the Solss Fiat.
Yes sah yes sab" said the porter a. we sped
along in tho smoker at midnight "sho's you bawh
kin always tell er man by de way he wears our
his shoes been shinin shoes on dis run TO-
yeahs an yeahs, an nevah make mistake
bout any man" And the old fellow gazed Al
the long row Of footwear in front Of him.
dis heah gemman, 70 instance" he said, piolc-
ing up a neat looking tan, dds heah gemmen.
he been wearn dis pah O. shoes 70 er long time.
but doy is won bout de same all roun'. You dom
sec any runin' ovah heah and weafn' out das
Dey jes do same all roun'. Now dat Eemmen,
he gave me mo trouble den all dc res OBJ de cyah
all togcder. He want everything les 90. an Il
git de leas' thing he be rinEin' mo up 70 kin
git back TO where started. Mex mawnin' Of
give him er brush of he keep me busy dom dis
and doin' dat tell don have time TO pay IGNITION
TO tother semmen. an den he gives mo ten conta'
Tho old man was silent for a moment a. he
contemplated the viainous tendencies OF such
a character
AN den. ef he makes regular runs, no dom
even give mo ten cents but he say Mex time.
Sam. Civ you quatah. but don git no quatah.
sho's yer bawn. tell he makes sev'rul mo- trips.
No. sab, don you talk TER mo bout desc mon
what woah dey shoes out de same all 'roum- Dog
am pow'ful mean men. an no mistake
"Now, heah am dc kind O. shoe like You soe
dis one. hit am worn out at de heel an at do too.
an worn fiat in de centah OBJ de hoof Now dat
gemman. he's all right He call mo an no say
ole man. make down my bed de fust chance you
git an den he 60 an loaf roun in do mokah
tell tole him his bed made down, an den ho
swing in widout sayn anything. an fust thing
you know he SCUM sleep. No. sab. he dom go
tearing roun bout dis thing and dat thing. FL
faint les right he jes' say. in his min. you know.
Dam de Offence an of he 60 to sleep.
"Dis gemman, he all right too. He ain ne
cahluss man. but he ies' 60 long and tend his
business widout raisin' much cain, an ycs
he do mo- in err day den dat yam Teller no do in
er month Mex day brush him of an get
done an he not say er word an den he re'ch
down an han me or quatah while he finish readin'
his papah Dat am er nice gemman. sho's yoh
bawn.
AN den heah's CT mother kind o. semman.
which sometime like an sometime dom like.
You see his shoe, hit am worn all kinds O. ways
Dey am hollered out here and turned OF dar an
have all sorts O. cu'ous bruises Now dat fellah
he don give er dam whether he go ter bod or not,
sometime. an den agin he apt to sleep all day.
Sometime like TO watch an see jes' whut he
gwine do mex TO he certify curious white
man Fl he got any stuff he les apt to give yeh
a dolah as er quatah. but den sometime he broke
an yeh don get nothin'. but all de Same like
dis gemman Ef he git mad he maddcr'n de
debbil hisself, but gently he don care how dc
win blow
"Dis gemman I dom like neither. No sab. I
don like dis gemman." said the old man. picking
up another pair OF tana "Yeh see dis heah ahoef
Hit am worn out mo- at de toe den anywhar elsa
Dat man he a pow'ful lot O. trouble He am
fdgity, an er fidgity man am wose'n OF fussy
woman, an er fussy woman-may de I-awd sab
me
dis man he always in er hurry. He ask mo
er thousand questions He want his bed made
down bcfo' anybody else an he want hit made UP
befo any body else. an all enduin OBJ dc night he
ringin' 70 de potah. Dere he go now. heah himf
Let him ring. l done been dere sevI times an
he don want a Gawd's blessed thing wuth no
ticin. De wus thing bout him. he got or bad
mem'ry. When he get nigh whhh he goin' he
SO hdgiy TO get off dat he fogit evrything else.
70 git his grip an his walkin' stick an he neveh
fails ter disremember dat you done wait on him
like er dawg all night OATS de meanes' thing
bout dis heah fidgity gemman hope he doan
git on my cyah no mo dis summah
But heah's sompin don like Hcah's one oh
dem Jonah shoes You ask any po'tah an he
er wreck er sompin wuss ov'ry time Now look
at dat shoe sab See dat lef' heel. Evah SEQ
anything like il Hit am worn right of n ono
side How you spose dat gemman evah weah he
shoe of dat way? Don know? Cose you dom.
nobody else Dat man am Jonah man, sho's
yeh bawn, an / been fcelin' oncomftabu evah
since see dat shoe l say TO myself Sam ych
bettah be powful cahfu tenight case dat Jonah
man am on de cab, an l am still pester'd bout
hit Dat man he GU Gus sho' huff He nevah
say nuthin all de time He sOt still an look out n
de winder, an now an den when You pass by, ho
roll dem eyes o. his roun at you an il make youh
blood freeze dat what he do plum 'fraid O.
dat kin o man. an nevah do anythin' mon
kin help 70 him. No sab, l wouldn' touch dat
man wild my broom 70 sew 'nty- five cents, no sab
"Hcah am mother kin O shoe don lika
Look at it. Hit am Mario all er long an fiat az
or pancake, wild short toe, an hit am worn down
on de inside oh de from sole Dat man am er dude
Anybody kin dat He Glib de potah heap
o. trouble an pow'fu ittle OBJ anything else. lemme
tell you He call me In de mawni'n an he say1'
Potah, pc tab did you polishhs allers say ~
ish did you polish my shoes?' lien gins te1'
git mad but keeps polite an say: Yes sab.
shined EN-" but he say We'll, dey dom loolrnfe,
hit / wish you would take them hack an go
ovah dem agin An den take dem back an 80
dem down In de conan 70 er few mints widout
80 much as touchn' dem, an when take dem
back he look pow'ful pleased case he think no
goin' ter look hner'n anybody else. He take up
mo- room in de smokah dan anybody, an he fool
eroun an com his hair an fix his tie tell de dinin'
ca am pulled off an den he aimos break his heart
case he miss his breakfas'