Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-11-26

walters. Thirty old ladies' ''bossed''
things, twenty more served as cooks and
bottle washers. Two hundred business
men were disturbed during Office hours
by the loyable pirates with tickets
Forty Young men. who always do every
thing their sweethoarts order them TO.
attended the affair and dutifully bought
supperss For fortnight I surrendered
my home TO committees and took my
meals down town.
But ] am happy TO say the occasion was
bowling success though the entertain
mcnt wasn't the most exciting thing /
ever attended. We cleared $G.a2. When
1 reflect upon the labor expended. the
talking done, the feminine excitement
the numbers employed. the general sus-
pension OF downtown business. and my
own seli-denial L rejoice and crack my
hecis with delight al the profits. The
Nominander-iu-Chicfs says that I'm her
most sanguinc moments she hadn't hoped
to make over $50 All OF which goes to
snow mat women are the most unso.fsh
things Ia the woIld-that is. providing you
let them think they are bossng whatever
they undertake.
1t has happened just as / expected.
Know George Dewey was going TO put
ing hero. That business whereby ne
unkered SO fo0lshly with the house
given him by the public has knocked him
out. No man can bee hero when he lets
people get so close TO him that they can
see the warts and frecNes on his face.
To be great one must be exclusive. As
long as the Admiral kept in tho Pacific
Ocean no was an right. That was q
good safe distance from the public
After no returned To- America he should
have staid only few days and then
snw himself orr from communication
with the world by hiding on Devils
Island or some obscure SPOT beyond Oh.
reach OF newspaper reporters.
AS a matter Of fact no matter how
smooth your complexion may bee or how
well your clothes and shoes 1T you, one
can't hope 20 wear the championship bel
Of hcrolsm mOre than sixty days IN thcs
degenerate times. You are bound 10 pu
your loot in it if you attempt 10 hol,
on longer In TWO months you ger shop
worn and all the enamel rubs off you
First, you lose your head and do some
thing you ought not 90. Then the news
paper boys swoop down and the editoria.
par0sraphers write sQuibs about you am,
people discover you are just a plain
everyday cEump Ike themselves anC
they even refuse to peep at You Ourin-
prayers at church. II is pitiful anl
pathetic From the bottom Of my hear
1 sylnpathize with the grief-stricken Ad-
miral When last heard from he was al
most wishing he hadn't gone into Manila
bay. but he'll get over that when ne
thinks dispassonately Of Ais increased
salary, his joweled sword, and the 1.-The
raj space 70 DO hencelorth allowed hin
by historians.
The roundabout way by which Dewey
aimed 10 transfer his gift house TO ms
son is not yet clear TO my mind. IL looks
10 me Ike the wilder was bOssing the
Job, and IL that be the case the good
man should bc excused. When mans
wife gets TO nageing at him he's liable
10 10 most anything.
The editor of this paper, in writing Of
the sad affair. very harshly says. "Ihe
real trouble, we suspect. is that he has
been making the same sort of goose
of himself that most aged lovers co.
Could anything be more cruel than these
words? AS If any old man ever made a
goose of himself when DE fen in love.
Why, by Joye. / amt chicken myself,
but I'd like TO know where IA be maxi
ing a goose Of myself II i were matri-
mOniauy untrammclled and sought TO
marry some plump little l1-yeJr-old
partridge. bless my SOUL uoi tH"ilh
that editor for saying "a thinB Ike that.
We old feIlows-or rather mature fell
lows-are the most discreet persons in
the world and not apt to lose our heads.
Now its AN very well 10 rdicule men
when they get along up towards 80 or a
100 and fan in love, but q chap OF sd or
20 oughtn't Doe counted out amy more
than lad Of I'D.
II Dewey Will take the advice Of an
ex-horo myselO and twirl his thumbs
little while it won't be many months bee
fore hen see some other hero just as bad
off as himself Meanwhile he can enc
gage i'm conversations with his wifo's
parrot and help hang up the pictures and
DO chores about the house.