The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-07-09
MR.. CHOATE'S JEsTs.
The Book That Did Not see the Light
in London.
From the Speaker.


don publisher 1900 copies of a work en-
tilted The Choate Jest-Book' presumably
compiled from the recorded hufnor of the
American ambassador. Higher powers have
interviewed and suppressed it. There is
rumor that it has appeared on the other
side of the water, though credible Amer
leans we have consulted, men wen versed
in the jests of a country rich in this par
ticular commodity, assure us that ii is UNI
known to them. One specialist said, NO
l have not come across any such book
But you must understand that my coun-
trymen have a faculty for inventng jokes
and attTibudng them TO well-knOwn peo-
pie. a practice not unfamiliar over here,
/ fancy. The ghosts of Sheridan and sgd
ney Smith must be unhappy over a good
deal of the fun they are alleged 10 have
made in the flesh. Pity that so many of
your jokes hide behind the dead instead
of coming out into the open, Have 1 ever
heard Of any story ascribed to Mr.. Choate?
Oh, yes! There's the story of the man who
inti oduced a friend TO HIN just after he
had been appointed ambassador to Eng
land. Let me Introduce YOU said The man,
to Mr.. Joseph II. Choate' Wait a mo-
ment,' said ChOate. AS l am going 10 Eng
land, I've dropped the H " We asked our
informant whether he thought this bril-
liant sally was pining unpublished among
those two thousand suppressed volumes,
and he said it was not unlikely. Did he
think that its publication would endang2r
the peace of the Angio-Saxon race, or, al
any rate, the settlement of the Alaskan
boundary question: He said that was
point for the higher diplomacy, and refus-
ed to commit himself.
The American public has an incredible
appetite for anecdote, which VeXes public
men more than the prOverbial want of
] v.E. ats-Fsa
there was some talk of Chauncey Depew
as ambassador Mr.. Depew has the repute
| of having made more jokes after dinner
| than any other railroad president of his
| time. This brings the inevitable penalty
| There are cynics who say that Mr.. DepeW
| repeats himself. AS he has been telling
/ stories for a generation, and as the news
papers of his country have been telling
/ stories and putting them down to him, il
/ is not surprising that his public suffers
! occasionally from a malady of WEAKNESS
! and calls it Depew. Capt. Boycott con-
! tributed an imperishable word to the Eng
! lish language; why not a too fluent and
| affable president of an American railroad?
! When an audience is overcome by the te-
| dious iteration of a speaker, will some
| daring reporter say that everybody was
depewed? He viii hang upon him like a
| disease" says Beatrice, when she hears
| that some man is giving ear to her arch
caught the Benedick!" VIII such a prayer
be offered up for the after-dinner listeners
! who have caught the DepeW? We ask this
! question because our American informant,
who disclaimed all knowledge of the
| Choate Jest-Book, proceeded TO tell US a
story of the Depew textbook, which, he
said, was once laid before a public gath
| ering. Mr. Depew was about to deliver a
! speech when a large volume labeled De
! pews Old Jokes" with a striking portrait
of the author on the cover, was hoisted
at the end of the table, and an assurance
was demanded that none of the supposed
| contents would be served up again Mr.
| Depew, commercially free from embar-
rassment, was about to proceed, when a
photograph concealed in a corner of the
room-a 'babble machine" as Mr.. H G.
! Wells calls it In his romance
When the Sleeper Wakes-poured out a
long string of anecdotes tod by Mr.. De-
pew, or fathered upon him, for consider
able number of years. We decline to be-
lieve that the suppression of the Choate
, Jest-Book was prompted by a dread of any
| such revelation, aud that the publisher
| means to absent himself from the felicity
| of public dinners, enlivened by the ambas-
sadOr's elOquence, lest he should listen to
stories which are sleeping upon his shelves.
| Whatever treasures of humor Mr.. Choate
| may have beQueathed to his countrymen,
we cherish the hope that the English at
mosphere does not weigh heavily upon his
invention. We are said to be a phlegmat.c
! people; but we are not wholly devoid of
| humor, and of the desire to encourage hu-
NOR in others. 1t may be land this is
a serious contingency that Mr.. Choa,e is
| oVerawed by his new post. He may have
looked into the traditions of his pIedeces-
sors and found that they were not contrib
utors to suppressed jest-books. Mr.. Bay
ard never made a joke in his Sife. You
es and not find single laughter" though
it is we'll known that a reporter will inter
ject that tribute in his copy" on the
smallest provocation If anybody witches
an eyebrow at a point in a speech which
has the slightest humorous suggestion,
down goes daughter in the short
hand note Mr.. Phelps seldom. If ever.
joked. Mr.. Lowell did indulge in With
cisms; but they were too subtle to be
compiled by publishers on either side of
the ocean. In America, public opinion
was inclined to regard them superclious-
ly as adapted to the intelligence of the
| Britisher. So we suspect that when Mr..
! Choate took up his official residence in
! London, and consulted Henry White as to
the proprieties which must be observed by
| virtue of precedent, he was staggered to
learn that not a solitary joke fingered in
| the archives Of the embassy Imagine
his feelings, on looking into a morning pa
| per, 10 ma ne OuOdle JeSt-BOOk' SWag-
| gering hilariously in the publishers adver-
| tisements! For a while there may have
been a desperate hunt for some authority
behind which this publication might take
| shelter There was Joe Miller, but he was
not an ambassador. Probably Mr. Choate
| rushed down to the British Museum, ask
ed for American chestnuts, and was re-
ferred 90 Forestry in the catalogue. AT
last the fatal truth could no longer be re-
sisted; his was the only jest-book with
ambassadorial pretensions, and the sa-
gacious Henry White was compelled to
tell him that 1t would never do!
Now, with every desire to respect Mr..
Choate's privacy, we have a dreadful
hankering after one of those suppressed
copies. OF course, the publisher would not
sell it for its weight in gold, but he is an
Englishman, and we are tempted 10 ad-
dress to him this insid.ous argument.
'Iike the rest Of us, you are in favor OF
the Anglo-American understanding; you
wish to see permanent amity between The