Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1899-11-24
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YES" he said, when I was
was eagerly sought after" "WSg TSuugl
ward was offered?" asked tho 1u' re
young girl. ' sweet
She-This is too much! I won4,
1t any longer! Tomorrow shan T'a' %
turn to my mother! He-My dan,
that threat-or promise?
Uncle, what bred of cbickens
best?' "Well, sab, de white ones - !s @
mo- easiest found, and de dabk on",i ~
de easiest hid arter yo' gets 'em D,n
dianapolis Journal. '|
First cook reading)-Wanted to .,
to connecticut, tirst-class cook CosS
wages. Second cook-Niver on vpr Tsa loIS.
Sure, isn'tthat where they make ala,nS
clocks!-Jewelers' Weekly.
81 hear that you assisted at tbo ro..
mortem examination of your old ano
N.Y." said Gaswell to a surgeon Of HI.
acquaintance. "Yes; l cut him deadn
Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
Mrs. Hornbeak-What is this gameO
golf that's in the papers so much anv.
how? Farmer Hornbeak-Wal 50 fr,
as kin make out, it's nothin' but q
kind of solitaire croquet.-Puck.
"Have you given Mr.. Etaleight onv
encouragement" asked the impatient
mother. NO, mamma" replied the con.
tdent daughter; 80 far haven't found
1t necessary. ."-Brooklyn Life.
Mrs. Dash-How dreadful about your
uncle drowning himself in YOUR hath
tub! Mrs. Cash-Yes; wasn't it bardP
1t scared the cook so that we had TO
move into another house immediately,
Mrs. Naborly-Is your aunt on your
mothers or fathers side, JohnpyP
Johnny-Oh, sometimes on one side and
sometimes on the other. Depends on
who's getting the best Of it.-BroOklyn
Life.
Angy New-Yes, I quareled with the
leading man, and, as all the Others in
the company sided with him, resign.
ed. Sue Brette-But didn't anyone take
your part? Angy New-Only my under.
study.-Town Topics.
"Mr. GiZzley seems to be q very deep
thinker" remarked the impressionable
young woman. YES" replied Miss
Cayenne; "he can't talk five minutes
without getting away beyond bis
depth."-Washington Star.
what! A man with nose the color
of yours expects me to believe that he
has lived on water for three months%
said the lady at the door. "Yesm," said
the tramp; you see, I'm a sailor just
hore."-Yonkers Statesman.
Cripple Greek is great on etiquette. A
man out there met a little girl with
whose family he is very intimate, and
said: Hello, Edith! How are your
The little miss drew herself up and re.
piled: Use very well, but amt no tel
ephone. Reporter.
"Who lives in that little shanty
across the street?" '"That is where
Meterkin, the celebrated poet, lives"
"Ah! And who lives in yonder mansion
on the hill?" "That is the home of a
fellow who once wrote some fool verses
of popular song."-Cleveland Leader
Miss Smart-Oh, yes; we had lovely
time at the ball, Dr.-Dr.-Dr.-oh
dear, l always forget your last name
DR.. Smythe (patronizingly modest
oh, never mind! just call me simple
doctor" Miss Smart (quicklyi'-All
right, simple doctor. (Total collapse OF
Smythe. Judge.
He-What sort of a footstool was
that you gave your husband? She
What are you talking about? l dldnI
give him any footstool. | gave him
a beautiful hand-worked cover for the
mantelpiece. He-Oh, that was it.
know he told me it was something he
could put his feet on.-Yonkers States
man.
"This here last war;" remarked the
old lady, "has been a blessin' to my
family; Johns drawin' of big pension
fer one ear an three fingers; the Ole
mans writin' a war history; MolPs Ell
gagged to a sergeant; an Jennie's gwihe
to marry feller that come within al
ace of bein' ginrul!'-Atlanta Consli
tuition.
Deacon Hardacre-And so you seer
that ere spectacle show that they're al
talkin' about, did you? Elder Nipper
son-Yep. Deacon Harda cre--How dc
you come to do it, LigeT Elder Nipper
son-Well, Rube Handy, he said
wasn't fit for a decent person to look al
and l wanted to find out whether III
knowed or not. I've always had M
suspicious Of Rube.-Cleveiand Leader
There Is cat sits every night on ou
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