davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

Could the funny sayings and Incl
dents at the tenants dinners in Scot
land be collected they would make an
unrivaled book of humor. Mistakes Of
amusing and sometimes embarrassing
nature occur frequently at such func-
tions. One story is told of guest at a
Scottish tenants dinner who tasted ice
cream for the first time on that occa-
sion. He pushed large spoonful of the
frozen mixture into his mouth and
jumped from his chair with agony ex-
pressed on his face. He let ont a yell
and cried out. low, ow, ma rotten
tooth !" and could not be induced to eat
any more.
At another Scottish affair of the kind
a good old farmer was seated next TO
the hostess. She served him a bit Of
sayory omelet. which seemed to cause
the old man deep disappointment. His
idea of an omelet had always been a
dessert with sugar, or fruit or jams.
and after tasting the sample before him
he turned TO the hostess and said
"Weel, ma lady, l Gamma compliment
you on your puddin's p"
The late Duke Of Buccleuch told a
story of tenant at one of the farmers
dinners on his estates who was asked
by the duchess if he would take some
rhubarb. a dish she was fond Of The
farmer was surprised. but answered
politely. "I'm muckle obleeged to your
grace, but | dinna' need it. g"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

A bright chap who has Travelled much
told me that some years ago he met a
man where he had camped. in the min
ing districts of California, who could
make the New York doctors ashamed of
the regular practice in a case of pneu-
monia Said he: at stands to reason.
The claim of the man il this; Unless
some Part of the digestive process is
clogged pneumonia is impossible. and it
is even quite difiicult 10 take cold if the
circulation of the fluids of the body is
free.
His method is simplicity itself In
the first place, to start with. he gives a
Zig dose of physic and puts his man into
lots of blankets, and then he gathers
all the bottles he can find in the camp
and fills them with hot water and heats
every part of the man but his head. As
soon as he thinks the physic is out of
his stomach, he makes him sip hot wa
Ter. just as soon as he sees drop Of
perspiration on his forehead he will say !:
I've got you. old man. Keep the heat
going until the pills operate freely, and
don t let him take cold. l have seen
bad cases where they would have choked
to death in less than an hour out and
at work in two or three days He didn't
consider ii question of constitution at
all 1t was only question of cleaning
the man ont and keeping him warm. .
New York Times.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

General Benjamin F. Butler was one
Of a commission to examine young ap-
plicants for admission to the bar. and
before him came a youth who failed
miserably ON all that pertained to juris-
prudence, case law, civil law. sumptu-
airy law, unwritten law and due process
of law. Finally Butler, who rather liked
the chap and wanted to see him
through. asked: "What would you like
to be examined in2 You have failed in
everything we have suggested.
The reply came. "Try me on the
statutes; I'm up on them.
Butler shook his head solemnly. "My
young friend" he said, "I'm afraid
you won't do. You may be ever so ia.
miliar with the statutes, but what i.
to prevent a fool legislature from re-
pealing all you know %
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

ence. Itrelieves the condition that pro-
duces so much discomfort and robs men
situation of its terrors. Here is proof;
DEAR Mrs. PINKHAM:-How can
thank you enough for what you have
done for meP When l wrote to you
was suffering untold pain at time Of
menstruation; was nervous, had head
ache all the time, no appetite, that tired
feeling, and did not care for anything.
| have taken three bottles of Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound, one
of Blood Purifier, two boxes of Live r
Pills, and to-day | am well person. |
would like to have those who suffer
know that am one of the many who
have been cured of female complaints
by your wonderful medicine and advice.
Miss JENNIE r. MILES. Leon, Wis.
Ifyou are suffering in this way, write
as Miss Miles did to Mrs. Pinkham at
Lynn, Mass, for the advice which she
offers free of charge TO all women.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

Some curious submerged forests exist
in England. Midway between the estu-
aries of the River Mersey and the Dee,
along the shore west of Leasome, Is a
long stretch of forest growth, which
through the encroachment of the sea
is being rapidly washed away. At one
time the forest was completely covered
by sand, but as the water is gaining
very rapidly on the land, the forest be-
comes more and more exposed to view.
Many proofs of a submerged vegetable
accumulation. with stumps of trees In
the position in which they grew, have
been traced round the shores of Devon,
Cornwall and Western Somerset. A
submarine forest occurring Mt the
mouth of the Parrot. in Somersetshire,
on the south side of the Bristol Chan
mel. was described by l.. Horner in 1915.
and Its position attributed to subsl-
dence. Charles Harris discovered in
1881 evident traces of fir wood be-
Meath the level of the sea at Bourne
mouth, in Hampshire, the formation
having been laid open during a low
spring tide.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22
NO CIGARETTES WANTED.
But the Worst in the Lot Got Place
After All.

buA AhE hoAsN VIC A4pI oON "a
After All.
The boss inserted an advertisement
in one of the newspapers for an office
boy. and he got down TO the office half
an hour earlier than usual TO receive
the applicants for the place.
There was long line of them In the
hallway in front of the office. lie call
ed the boys into his Office one by one
and subjected each of them to a search
ing examination as TO experience, fit
ness, etc lie invariably finished up
with the questions: DO you smoke
cigarettesf' The boys invariably de-
clared that they did not.
"Neyer smoked one o Their dope sticks
in me life," declared the first boy called
in
Didn't, eh?' replied the cold man.
LET me see your fingers" They were
stained a deep, dirty yellow. lie was
told that he was not wanted.
Oats not cigarette stain. dat amt,
insisted the second boy. Oats paint
off me fader's house."
The excuse didn't work. and he was
ushered out. as were several more
young aspirants for office honors.
Finally. brlght-eyed, red-headed
yonngster entered and answered all
the questions propounded to him In "A
satisfactory way.
"Now my boy" came the final test,
tell me truihfully, do you smoke cigar
cites :"
whats them? Those little paper
cigarsY answered the youth.
Yes. exactly"
"Nope; neyeh drew one uf them Inter
me lungs In me life
Let me see your hands"
The boy poked out n chubby fist at
him. The man examined 1t critically,
but failed to detect the slightest evil
denee of tobacco stain.
You're engaged" he finally said.
"Bully for YOU" said the youth. 80
long: I'll be ter work in de morning"
Only one Girl In the World for Me"
and Joined his anxious comrades in the
hallway.
"iouse fellers can all go home" he
said.
what yer givin' us? Did yer get
der jobf' piped half dozen voices.
Bet yer life." replied the urcbln.
There was a loud murmur OF surprise
from the crowd, and finally one Of the
youngsters exclaimed:
How'd yer do it, Chmmie? DE oil
man said that he didn't want no dope
stick smokers, an yer knows yer de
wurstest dope tiend In der push
"Oh, youse fellers was so slow dat
yer make me tired" replied "Chimmie"
in n Disguised tone Of voice. Course
hit de dope sticks. but dye tink
wasn't cute 'nough TO keep 1t from de
OF man.
Guess yer had pull or yer wouldn't
have fooled his joblots." said one of the
youngsters.
Easiest ting in de world" answered
"Chimmie." "As soon as read his al
vertlsement in de papier kuode dat
he WIS agin dope-stcks, so what does
| do but soak me fingers In terpentlne
all night. an In de morning dey wus
rs clean as newborn babe 5. New
York Tribune.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

1t is not always safe to talk in para
bles to the young, as the following
school board story shows: A correspond
ent states that one Of his pupils caused
him some annoyance by uneouthness of
speech, dirty boots, and SO on, 50, says
our correspondent: II drew verbal
portrait for the class of the man who
did not shine in the world of polite So
ciety. You cannot fail to know him.
said I. for he never cleans his boots
nor washes before meals. He speaks
and drinks when his mouth is full and
generally uses his knife in place of his
fork.
Gradually the lad whom this story
was designed to profit showed an awak-
ening interest and put out his hand to
speak In reply to my query, 'WellT 4
know him, said he. He's our lodgerl' "
London Chronicle.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22
An Ancient Town.

The ancient town of Rye, In Sussex,
proposes to celebrate this year the
6O0th anniversary of Its municipal ex-
lstence. The little borough must have
possessed the privileges OF local self
government for much more than six
centuries, for It has been Cirque port
since the time of Henry ILL.,, and some
of It's charters date back to Edward the
Confessor. Hut the possession of a
complete list of 600 mayors has prob
ably induced the burgesses to rest their
claim to Incorporation upon no earlier
grant than THAT of the twenty-seventh
year of Edward |. Rye has struggled
plucklly against difficulties before
which many communities would have
suceumbed. The sea has retired and
left it high and dry, and II has lost Its
parliamentary representation. Yet the
little red-brick town still looks CHEEKY
and NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Chronicle.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22
Emneror william as a Rohh r.

Emperor William never plays cards
except for very low stakes. Yet in a
game with a Leipzig lawyer. once upon
time, the latter lost twenty marks.
He laughingly exclaimed; Il have got
into a regular robbers den." Every
body roared with laughter, the Emperor
as heartily as the rest When his ma.
jesty was staying. the following year,
at Barby, and noticed the lawyer, he
went up to him. handed him twenty.
mark piece set in diamonds. in the form
of a scarfpin. and said: Restored by
the robbers"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22
welcome Punishment TO Bobby.

A little boy went to church with his
mother. The service was somewhat
long and utterly incomprehensible to
the child. Consequently he fidgeted.
His mother reproved him several times.
AT last she leaned toward him. Bob
by, she whispered. "if you act badly
I'll never bring you to church again.
A CLEAN of hope dawned in Bobby's
weary eyes, "Mamma, he said eager
ly, chow bad will have to be f"-Ex-
change
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22
Kerosene ON the Carpet.

If You spill kerosene on the carpet.
don't leave it to "eyaporate. " Cover
the place an inch deep with bran or
cornmeal. and set enough hot irons to
cover the spot. Let stand until the
irons are cool, then sweep off the meal,
and usually there is no trace of the
spot. If there is, repeat the operation.
Unless the oil is removed the dust set
ties into it and makes bad looking
place in the carpet.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

Lewis Carroll. the author of "Alice
In Wonderland, =" was fond of puzzling
his friends with curious problems. One
of them was the question, When does
the day begin2 If man could travel
around the world so fast that the sun
would always be directly above his head,
and if he were to start travelling at mid
day on Tuesday, then in "a hours he
would return TO his original point of
departure and would find that the day
was now called Wednesday-at what
point of his journey would the day
change its Manner The difficulty of an
swering this apparently simple question
has cast a gloom over many pleasant
party.
Another problem was as follows; A
rope is hung over a wheel fixed to the
roof of building; at one end of the
rope a weight is fixed, which exactly
counterbalanees monkey which is
hanging on the other end. Suppose that
the monkey begins to climb the rope,
what will be the RESULT 1t is very Curl
ous the different views taken by good
mathematicians. One says the weight
goes up with increasing velocity; others
say that il goes up at the same rate as
the monkey, while another says it goes
down.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22
Ask for Kleeno Washing Powder.


Justice Laughlin, in Supreme Court
Buffalo, has ordered permanent inlunc.
ton, with costs, and a iull accounting Of
sales, To issue against Paul b. Hudson, the
manufacturer OF the foot powder called Dr.
Clarks Foot Powder. and also against a
retail dealer Of Brooklyn, restraining them
from making or selling the DIR. Clark's
Foot Powder, which is declared. in the de-
eision of the Court, an imitation and in-
lringement of Foot Ease" the powder for
tired, sching feet TO shake into your shoes,
now so largely advertised and sold all over
the country. Allen s. Olmsied, OF lie Roy
New York, is the owner Of the trade mark
Foot Ease, and be is the first individual
who ever advertised a foot powder extensi-
vely over the country. lie will send sam
pie Free 10 any one who writes him for it.
The decision in this case uphOlds his trade
mark and renders all parties Liable who
fraudently attempt to profit by the exten-
siye Foot Ease advertising, IN placing
upon the market a spurious and similar APP
pearing preparation, labeled and put up IN
envelopes and boxes like Foot Ease. SINH
lar suits will be brought against others who
are now infringing on the Foot Ease trade
mark and common law rights.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any
case OF Catarrh that cannot be cured by Halls
Catarrh Cure.
y. J. CHENEY 4 CO, Props, Toledo, o.
We, the undersigned, have known n j.
Cheney for the last is years, and believe him
perfectly honorable in all business transactions,
and financially able to carry out any obligation
made by their firm.
WRsT ATRuAx, Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, o.
WALpIRe, KIENAs 4 MARVIN, Wholesale Drug
Rists. Toledo, o.
Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken Internally acting
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces oil
the system. Price, 75c. per bottle. Sold by all
Druggists Testimonials free.
Halls Family pills are the best.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22
Forest Reservations.

The 80 forest reservations of the
United States embrace an area OF 40,-
600, 900 acres in 10 states and terrific
ries. Seven are in the state of Califor-
mia, the largest of which. the Sierra
forest reserve. includes 4, 006, 900 acres
Within the past 80 years it is estimated
that II 900. 900. 900 feet, board measure,
of timber on public land have been de-
stroyed by forest fires
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22
PEOPLE WANT SOMETHING BETTER.

How many women are saying just nov;
'Oh, want q change in my wall deoora-
tions, am tired OF wall paper.
How many dealers are say ing "Oh,
what "A nuisance the wall paper business
has become. how much time and invest
ment IL taxes and how little the profit2
How many painters and decorators who
have lent their influence TO push forward
the wall paper craze now find their oceupa-
ton gone.
TO all such we would say. Use. sell and
advocate the durable cold water Aiabas-
tine
Alabastine can be used on either plasiered
walls. wood ceilings, brick or canvas. IL is
absolutely lire proof in its nature, is dura-
BILE, and any one can brush it on, Alabas-
tine is sold by paint dealers everywhere.
Ask your dealer for card Of tints
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

"And you say the idiot Of teacher
told you that you had an extrayagant
fool of father -
THAT what he meant.
"But what did he say
He said it was criminal folly to
waste money ON the education of such
chump as | am. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

Aliens Foot. Ease, powder for the feet.
1t cures painful, swoolen smartlng feet and
instantly takes the sting out of eofns and
bunons. It's the greatest comfort diseoy-
cry of the age. Aliens Foot-hase makes
tight.ftting or new shoes feel easy. II is
certain cure for ehilblains, sweating damp,
callous and hot, tired aching feel. We
have over 10000 testimonials Of cures. Try
it today. Sold by all druggists and shoe
stores. BY mail for Doc in stamps. Trial
package FREE. Address Allen 5. Ohm
sled. Ie Roy, N Y.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22
Hon. J. II. Caldwell.

81 have used Pe-ru-na for a number
OF years with the very best results for
catarrhal diseases. | shall never be
without it. never fail to recommend
it when an opportunity presents it.
self. u. II. Caldwell, Robeline, la.
Gilbert Hofer, Grays, KY, says in a
letter dated March 9TH, 1894: ~ have
used four bottles of Pe-ru-na and am
well of my catarrh, and it cured my
Bright's disease. had been troubled
for two years. ] weigh twenty pounds
more than | did before was taken sick
| shall never he without Pe-Tu-na.
Send for free catarrh book. Address
DR.. Hartman, Columbus, o.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22
Financial Advice.

"Here's a man, said the old citizen.
"who lost S., 900 in a bank whar he
put it fer safe keepin. Bill. don't you
ever take no risk like that. Eff ever you
gifts hold of any money, do like your ia
Their before you done-bury it, an spen
the rest of your life settin over it with a
shotgun r'-Atlanta Constitution.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

Mr.. Characterization never heal
me growl nj the table.
Mrs. OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES, then, were
You doing at breakfast today?
~ wasn't growing at the table. but
at your biscuit" -Yonkers Statesman
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22
FRANCES NEW PRES sNT.

The new president of France is calm,
sane and trihe bourgeois. He looks like
a man who would inlnso into French poll
lies as much yigor as Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters will into the rundown system OF
anyone who uses i. is am absolute cure
for all stomach di sorders.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22
The Loniest Inhabited Place.

The loftiest inhabited place In the
world is the Buddhist monastery of
Halne. in Thibet. II Is about 1900
feet above the sea.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

at is said that II man were to live
as long as the sun endures he would
at the end, be learning STILL"
Yes. and the office boy would prob
ably think he knew more about the
business than the old man did, even
then"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22
PERIODS OF PAIN.

Menstruation, the balance wheel of
woman's life, Is also the bane of exist
ence to many because il means time OF
great suffering.
While no woman is entirely free from
periodical pain, it does not seem to have
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

For % days, sugar beet, alfalfa, and fruit
lands, $500 to $500 per acre, easy terms,
waiered by the largest irrigation system in
America, annual water rental Si.25 per acre.
Climate equal to California. Address, h.
e. Tracy, Eddy. New Mexico.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22
SHAKE INTO Your SHOES.

The man who has a cold heArt sh III d
mol com pain if his vile has cold teef.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

EiTe Permanently Cured. No fits or nervous
lilo ness after first days use OF Dr. kline's
Great Nerve Rest0rer send for FREE $500
trial bottle aud treatise. DIR. X. IL. KLINE Ltd
$50 Arch st., Philadelphia, Pa.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

Careful estimates show that each
year there are inferred within the limits
of the city of London about 1870, 900
human bodies.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

Most difficult to eufe-chronic constipation.
Yet Cascarets Candy Cathartie are guaranteed
To cure any case or money refunded. Druggists,
l0e 25c 50'
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

The bIoomer girl is living illustration
that tho clothes does not III AXE the man.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

We do not believe it is fair to find
fault with doctors because they don't
know much. Nobody knows much
Atchison Globe.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

Mothers will find Mrs Winslow's
Soothing Syrup the best remedy TO use for
their children during the teething period,
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

The term "infantry" soldiers origi-
mated with the Spanish and was first
applied to the military force employed
by an infante, or young Prince of Spain.
to rescue his father from the Moors.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

There was young man from Lenore,
Who boldly went of to the war;
The beef made him sick,
He recovered quite quick,
By the prompt use OF old Jesse Moore.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

Betting on straight tips has caused
many "A confidential clerk 10 go crooked.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22
KIDNEY DISEASE,
Caused by Internal Catarrh
Promptly Cured by
Pe-ru-na.

Hon. ]. II. Caldwell, a prominent
of the Louisiana State Legis-
lature, says the following in regard to
Pe-ru-na for catarrh:
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

All the land above the sea level would
not fill up more than one-third Of the
Atlantic ocean.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

A great many men change their opinion
as often as they do their shirts.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-22

The effort to make sugar from beets
dates back as far as the year 1747
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-28
GLUCOSE AND Strip.
New Refining Company Is Proposed
by Grocers N ! o wa and Nebraska
with $1,000, 900 Capital.

A movement was started by the Iowa
and Nebraska wholesale grocers at
tending the convention in Des Moines
TO form glucose and sirup refining
company with $1,000,000 capital, $780,
900 to be paid up stock. This has grown
out of the spirit Of antagonism by the
jobbers to the Glucose Sugar Refining
company, of Chicago, which now sup
plies the western market.
Owing TO the alleged monopoly which
this company has it has eXacted from
the wholesalers much that they object
to; for instance, a recent announce
ment that it would discontinue dis
counts for cash on its bills. The job
bers have been accustomed to paying
cash and getting discounts. 1t is also
charged that the schedule of prices
charged by the company is higher than
the time warrants and there has been
for some time a need of competition
which the grocers plan to provide.
Samuel Maher, of Ottumwa, was
elected president of the association.