Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1899-09-08
FEARFUL CATASTROPHE Al
RENNES.

Rennes, Sept. 1.-(Special Cable
gram.)-A'bas Dreyfus! Conspuez!
Colorado Maduro! Macaroni du
Diable! Vive lie Absinthe!
Dreyfus is guilty. There can no
doubt further remain. Billybedam!
CcnspueZ!
The secret dossier exploded today
while it was being wheeled out Of the
court room in a barrow.
The scene was %frightful! Chance
revealed the mysteries of the dossier!
With a fearful detonation which
shook the Lycee to it's foundation the
explosion came.
The cause of the explosion is not
settled. NJ. de Jingwhiz, the ex-
plosive expert. thinks it resulted from
the decomposition Of Il dead goldfish
that was seized with Dreyfus' effects
in 1894. Can any doubt further
remain that Dreyfus was making
explosive Goldfish balls for the Ger
man army? Nit! Again, %conspuez!
Dreyfus seeks to show that the cod
fish was inserted in the dossicr just
for a cod! Shall it be believed? BY
my soul and body and three gallons
Of abSinthe. it shall not!
The contents of the dossier were
blown violently in all directions by
the force of the explosion. An old
h%O0pskirt of Madame de DiZZyfuZz
shot through the air like lightning and
cnveloped the president Of the court
in its folds.
Does it not show the guilt of the
prisoner?
When three genlarmes rushed to
hjs 1spsHIIn fhnI- Ix-0o.O ,nrrcfVof tod I&. -
blow from Il huge pretZel, which was
taken from Dreyfus' person. Does
it not show that he was in commune
cation with Germany? A'bas! Sweet
Marie. yes!!
NJ. de Blowhard was tlattened TO
the floor by a cheese sandwich which
bears a German water mark Of 1913.
Shall we need more proof of Dreyfus'
guilt?
The hcllish proofs of the guilt of the
prisoner We're everywhere. Did
not three sheets of tanglefOot escape
from the dOssier and plaster Them
selves on the brow Of Maitre LaDori:
Did not Maitre Demange get a paste
in the eye from a buckwheat cake that
was stolen from the French war
office?
buL tIlS VAS IOl dill.
a teething ring of the great Napo-
leon was shot down the open throat
of General Lianswear, who was tasti-
flying that Dreyfus wore Il pink Shirt
in 1893. Does it not prove that tile
shade of Napoleon is against the Dris.
oner. Of Corsica! Wat t'Elba?
General Flithecoop rushed to the
relief of General Lianswear and
plucked the teething ring from his dis.
tended throat on the point Of his
naked sword.
In the midst of the confusion, q
whole limburger cheese exploded il
midair. Shall we need stronger
proofs? Did not the smell warp the
doors off their hinges?
With gaping %apertures in it's side
the dossier lay there like an overripe
pumpkin. Up from it's interior sho,
the contents, tizzing like the explosion
Of a Roman candle.
1t was sublime! Terrified! Grand!
A can of Russian caviar exploded
in it's flight and plastered the brow
of the marble statue of justice will
huge black freckles. Does it no
show that justice hides its eace from
Dreyfus? The president of the cour
e~Xtricated himself from the hoopskir
only to receive a stunning blow from
Il slab of yellow gingerbread full il
the left eye. Three dead cats slo
out of the dossier and filled the al
with Il pungent odor. Can it b,
blamed that the officers of the cour
have guarded the dossier with zeal
GUS care?, An old satchet bag ex
ploded and filled the air with dens,
white clouds. Madame de DiZzyfuz
sneezed her false teeth down Mon
sieur de Jingwhiz's throat. Maitr
Labori coughed up the bullet from hi
back! Dreyfus coughed violently in,
raised ten cents for an absinthe cock
tail!
The prisoner rushed frantically t
and FRO He shouted. He screamed
"The dossier has been doctoredv' IL
shouted. 1.-The ballot box has bee,
stuffed against me! Wait till til
returns are all in!''
But it shall not avail! The revela
ton of the dossier is enough! I'll
prisoner shall be guilty! The Judge
are even now writing the verdic
which shall seal his fate.
Vive la France! Vive Ia Armee!
The entire nation shall be wild wit
absinthe jags!
A'bas!
YTnVHy VTyHTYY ~ Yry