The record-union., 1899-04-01
CAILDREN's FRIENDSHIPS.
POINTS TO BE CONSIDERED BY
"GROWN-UPS."
Children Like People Who Are
Nice, Not Those Who
/ Are Clever.

| like Alice herself He began, as We
read, by being serious and polite; his
manner, as all who knew him will re-
member, was composed, even to GER
| tain primness OF demeanor, and the hu-
NOR which lay under the surface was
reserved for the hours of matured con-
fidence, and never exhibited as means
of attraction in the early stages OF ac-
quaintance. "Grown-ups," and espec-
| tally men, are at a great disadvantage
in winning the affections of children,
for the latter are critical over wide
range, and only appreciate over mar
row one; wherefore those who seek
their regard, and ultimately their al
fection, have ten chances OF making
blunder which will be remembered
/ against one of scoring success OF the
positive kind The greatest mistake OF
| all, perhaps, is to try to be amusing.
An error in all cases where the speaker
has not got the social measure OF his
company, it is nowhere more coldly re-
ceived than by children, who have IN
perfection the art of being severely lib
eral when they disapprove OF a joke,
are intensely sensitive to being laughed
at, easily interpret what they only half
understand. as ''chaff," and only like
never because they are clever.
They are, as a rule, shy of accepting
services. partly because they do not like
it to be thought that they cannot do
things for themselves, and are vastly
careful, if they do, that it shall not be
locked upon as involving a claim for
their regard When they discover for
themselves that a grown-up person is
not only friendly but useful, founda-
tions for solid affection are often laid
But the benefits conferred must come
! Unreasonable And those who can carry
this atmosphere of good will and SER
vices as part of themselves, and insep-
arabic as the shadow under a tree, find
that children unconsciously gather to
| them. Then, if they pass in the final
examination which the closer relations
render possible, they may be rewarded
by warm, and even adoring devotion,
which lasts sometimes beyond the time
| when stream and river meet.
Though it often passes away after
childhood, the affection of children for
their elders outside their family circle
has an advantage over that between
| maturer friends. Once won, it is cas-
lily kept Little hearts. once unlocked
are ever open to the magic key, ana
eager to see and to add spontaneously
fresh merits to those who have en-
| gagged their love. They are perfectly
true, and distance does not diminish
affection Surprise and joy will almost
| overwhelm them when the object OF
this uncovenanted affection reappears
suddenly after absence. The signs and
| tokens of emotion are perfectly spon-
| taneous, and often most prettily ex-
pressed, and the chances are in favor
| of this deep affection having for its OBJ
ject some grown-up friend, and not
child Its my beloved Uncle Tom.
exclaimed one little girl, her face quite
flushed with emotion, as the happy OBJ
| ject of this attachment (who will never
see 80 again), suddenly presents him
! self to an adoring little niece.
| POWER OF THE STORY-TELLER
Women have an advantage over the
| other sex in the general competition Tor
| the liking of children. They are gentler
| they are more attractively dressed; and
| children are particularly sensitive TO
| color and texture in dress, hating things
harsh to touch: and women are much
| easier to make companions of-at the
start-and do not seem to be doing II
| ION purpose Later, men friends have
perhaps equal chances; for they are ac-
| knowledged to be almost the best chill
| drens story-tellers, and this is
mighty power, potent over their minds
| and affections. For the really gifted
| child's story teller, master of his art,
| will provide all the material for their
| fancy to play with daily and improve
| upon. He will create a whole world,
not necessarily a large world, but one
! which will satisfy all their powers of
| Imagination, people it with other chill
| dren, and animals, who do as he wishes,
| think as he desires, and are identlfled
| by his hearers with themselves and
| himself in a way which must create the
| closest bonds of mutual interests and
responsibilities. These are not fieetinS
| impressions. Greater On their world)
| than those who make the songs Of
nation are those who provide the stor-
| les for their children friends. For these
| stories, once made, are never forgotten
| They are repeated, by request, as often
as the maker will provide them; the
| characters may develop, but must re-
main the same, for good or bad; and
| the best-beloved children, animals or
others in these epics of the nursery may
be as edifying and didactic as the teller
| likes to make them. If their united eX-
ample tends to incline his hearers to re-
gard the author as a person deserving
OF their affection, who can blame his
artful rhetoric? Its object is to please,
and by pleasing to gain its reward, the
liking of the listeners.
The love of children won by elders
who are neither parents nor close rela-
tions is a special compliment, because
they cannot compete with children IN
that physical beauty which has SO
great an attraction for other children
This is the direct and spontaneous mo-
tive which induces love, almost at first
sight between young children them
selves. Yet, except in the case or
young and lovely women, we can hard
ly believe that children see much
beauty in their female elders, or in
men at ALL The point of view from
which they see us is against this sup
position. Those who are blessed with
good looks are too tall, in comparison
with them, ever to be seen to ad-
vantage To be looking up at giants,
seeing their features foreshortened from
below, the least becoming of all points
for the human face, cannot give them
pleasing impression Neither do we
see the beauty of children to the best
advantage as we look down IN their
faces foreshortened from above. That
is why the. beauty of pretty children
always appears irresistible. when they
are in bed, and their faces seen as they
lie on their pillows, or even in sleep.
The astonishing beauty of some chill
dren at such times passes that of any
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