Stikeen River journal., 1899-09-23
SUPPOSE WE SMILE.
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
 HE COMIC PAPERS.
Pleasant Incidents Occurring the World Over-Sayingst that Are Cheer full to Old or Young-Funny Selec. tions that Everybody Will Enjoy.

Positive. She wasn't even looking herself.-Town Topics.
 Madge-Why are you buying such ex- them. Mayme-Oh, I'll put them away for a rainy day.-Town Topics.
 His Honor-Young man, do you ap- preciate the solemnity of an oath; do you know what an oath is? Boy-Ye-es, sir; I caddied for you last, Sunday Life.
 "Doctor, my husband says black and red spots appear before his eyes every night. What do you advise?' 'I ad- wise that he stop playing poker. "-Chi- cago News.
 Husband-I am going to join another club tonight. Wife-I don't suppose I shall see you at all after this. Illus band-Oh. yes They have Il ladies' day.-Puck.
 Tomny-lt was a dreadful day the and it-- Mother-It 'blowrd' is not proper. Say it "blew." Tommy-lt blew and it snew awful.-Tit-Bits
 Kelly (growing pathetic,-Pity a poor, unfortunate man. Kelller, thots got to go home to his wolfe. Kelliher- be thankful ye are nc the Sultan.- . Puck.
 Hogan -SchwarZmeister was tellin' me thot Uncle Sam could never lick the Fillypanoes. Grogan-An did ye show him he was wrong? "Oi did. Oi think he will be out in about a fortnight Indianapolis Journal
 ''Is the cashier in?' No. he's not" When will he be back 7" Cant say. He skipped for Canada about an hour ago." Just my luck I'm his brother, and he took my hat by mistake this morning. Yonkers Statesman.
 What Is that old proverb about the moss and the rolling stone:" queried the Chicago girl. "A revolving frag- ment of the paleozoic age collects no cryptogamous vegetation replied her cousin from Boston.-Chicago News.
 "Seems odd, nowadays. that such poets as Moore aud all of them were always writing Lines to Fannie.'" Probably Pegasus is like other horses, and they gave the lines to Fannie so as to have their hands free. '-iIarlem Life.
 Nice Old I.ady-Win you kindly tell ne if the lady who writes the Moth CTS Page in your pa"er is in? want to tell her how much enjoyed reading her articles on The Evening Hour in the Nursery Office Boy-Thats him over there wid de pink shirt smokin' a garoot.-Tid-Bits
 Did you hear about Lucy Weston and Al Wins.ow falling out:" No. When did that happen: pshaw, it cant be true. saw them together last night Yes, it's really so. They went rowing on the pond in the park day be- fore yesterday and tried to change seats in the boat."-Chicago Times Herald.
 Tommy-Mss Tpiohn. I want to know the names of the twelve disciples. His Sunday School Teacher-Certainly Tommy. They were Peter, James, John, Andrew. Philip. Thomas, Judas and and-I can find the names of the others In a moment Tommy-No fair look in. l knowed you couldn't do it.-New York Evening World.
 Young lady-The musical conserva- tory is in this building, isn't il? Janitor No, mum. The musical conservatory Is bout two blocks down street Young lady tdubiously)-I.-I was sure heard pupils practicng vocal exercises. Are you sure the musical conservatory is not here? Janitor-Yes'm Nothin' but dentists offices. mum.-New York Weekly.
 Great Scott, man." thundered the householder to the ice man, as he looked at his bill for the month do you want to make an independent for tune in one season:" "Well,' said the man, "I read in scientific treatise that the sun was gradually losing it's heat, without the means of a livelihood."- Kansas City Star.
 "Won't you sit down in this chair, Wllie?" said the kind lady who lived next door to the little fellow who had come to pay her call. "If it's all the same to you, ma am said the little visitor, a shadow of pain creeping over his innocent face, "I'll prefer to sit in collar button yesterday morning and