Evening star., 1899-04-15
MEDITATIONs OF MARTIN DoOLEY.
His Opinion of the Union of Two
Great Fortunes.

FROM the Chicago Journal.
"Theyse wan thing that always makes
me feel sure iv what Hogan calls tn safety
iv our dimmycratic institutions.' said Mr..
Dooley, IAN that's tn inthrest tn good
people iv New York takes in a weddin' iv tn
milyonaires. Amy time millionaire con-
discinds to enter TIL martial state, as Ho-
gan says, an as Hogan says. make vows to
Hyman, which is tn Jew god iv marredge,
he can fill the house an turin people away
firm the dure An he does. TIL sthreets is
crowded. TIL cars can har'ly get through,
Th' polls foorce is out an hamm erin tn
heads iv tn delighted throng. Ripresinta-
tives iv TIL free an enlightened press, tn
pollutyem iv our liberties, as Hogan says,
bright, intelligent young journalists, liver
r-ready to probe fraud an sham. disgeesed
as walters, is dashin madly about maxim
notes on their cuffs. Business is suspinded.
They Sc no money in Wall sthreet. It's all
at tn sacred scene. Hour be hour, as tn
prisints ar-re delivered, TIL bank rates go
up. Th' threeasury departmint has to go
on silver basis, there bein' no goold to
mannyfacther into plunks.
Inside tn house tn prisints cast
goolden gleam on tn beauchiouS scene. Tn
happy father is seen seated at a table die
tatin millyon-dollar checks to a stenog-
rapher. Th goold chandeliers is draped
with r-ropes iv dimons an pearls. Th' hir-
Twinty firemen firm tn New York Cinthral
railroad is shovelin dimon-studded pickle
cruteS into tn back yard among tn yachts
an hor-rsas. Chansy Depoo enthers an
thrips over a box iv bonds. 'Ar-re these
tn holy bonds iv mathrimony?' he says, FIR
he is wild divvle an ye can't stop his jok-
in, aven on solemn occasions.
"Th' soggarth comes in afther awhile.
carryin d goold prayerbook, tn gift iv tn
Rothschilds, an stands behind a small but
val yable pree Doc. To tn soft, meelojous
chune iv til Wagner Palace Weddin' March
firm Long Green tn groom enthers, simply
but ixpinsiyely attired in govermint fours
an fannin' himsilf with a bunch iv first
morgedge bonds. TIL prayers f'r tn occ5-
sion. printed on negotyable paper is dis
thributed among tn guests. TIL bride was
delayed be tn crowd outside. Women
screamed an waved their haukerchefs,
sthrong men cheered an Wept, an twas not
until tn polls had dubbed tin hardy pa
thriteS to death that tn lady cud enther TIL
house where her fate was to be sealed. But
finlly she med 1t, an tn two happy, happy
childher, whose sunshiny youth represented
five thousand miles iv thrack, eight goold
mines, wan hundred millyon dollars worth
iv rollin stock. an majority inthrest in
TIL Chicago stock yards was r-ready for
tn ncissry transfers that wud establish
tn combination.
9TH ceremony was brief but inthrestfn'
TIL happy father forced his way through
imond StomacherS an they was tears in
his eyes as he handed tn Clergyman. whose
name was Murphy. but he carrid hmsilf as
well If he was used to it, handed him a
check f'r tin millyon dollars. / don't blame
him. Divvle the bit. Me own hear-rt is
hard an me eyes are dhry. but I'd break
down if l had to hand amy wan that much.
'I suppose tn check is good?' says tn
Clergyman. "Tis certyfied,' says th' weep
in father. DO ye take this check says tn
Clergyman, to have an to hold, until some
wan parts ye firm it?' he says. I do,
says tn young man. Thin says tn
Clergyman, I see no treason why We shud-
III, ,
says, an marrid they were, in tn same Of,
foolish way that peoples been narrid in
FIR cinchres. 'Tis wondher to me TIL
ceremony amt changed. Th' time is comm,
Hinnissy, whn millyonaires II not be mar
rid be Father Murphy, but be tn gov nors
iv TIL stock exchange. They'll be put
through TIL clearin house, me faith, an
securities II be issued be tn combination.
Twinty-year, goold-secured, 4 per clint
bonds iv mathrimonyi Aha, It's Joke that
Chansy Depoo might've med!
9TH crowd outside waited, cheerin' an
fightin' tn polls. In this here land iv lib
erty an akequality. Hinnissy, iv'ry man is
as good as iv'ry other man. except polls
man, an it showed how thrue tn people in
New York is to tn thraditions iv Jefferson
that divvle a wan iv thm'd move away
till tn check'd been passed firm father to
son an tn important part iv tn sacred
ceremony was over. Thin few iv thin
wint home to cuk dinner f'ratheir husbands.
who was previnted be their jootes at tn
gas house from attindin' tn function. TIL
r-rest remained an see tn two gr-reat for
tunes get into their carredge, pursued be
tn guests, to tn amount iv five hundred
millyons, peltin' thin with seed pearls.
Sure" said Mr.. Hennessy, "mebbe
'twasn't as bad as tn pa-apers let on. fe
can't always thrust thin"
"Perhaps not" said Mr.. Dooley. "Th'
pa-apers say Two gr-reat fortunes united
an if that's 1t they didn't need TIL sar-
vices iv a priest but a lawyer an thrust
comp'ny. Perhaps. with all tn certyfed
checks, twas two rale people that was
marrid an If that's so, 1t explains tn
prisiuce iv Father Murphy