The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-08-03
IdIll||||IilIls'SlIEs

by ear?o mo. by the hour. Chicago
Daily News.
He--"What are yon two girls talking
about?" She--"Nothing; are your ears
burning Yonkers Statesman
Jones got broke OF walking in his
sleep" How His wife made him
carry the Philadelphia Bule-
tin.
How did you succeed in your
speechY" when | sat down they said
1t was the best thing | ever did. =
Judy.
He-"Was your brother engaged In
the late war;" She-"No: not until
after he came home. "-Yonkers States
man.
"Dasher didn't weigh his chances
when he went into that enterprise
"And yet he speculated ON large
scale Moonshlne.
Il saw You waltzlng around your
lawn this morning" Excuse me, that
wasn't waltz--it was a hose reel =
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Adalbert-And SO l am the first man
that you have ever kissed? Guineyere
Yes Adalbert; the others took the
lnitlatiye.-C Chicago Daily News.
DO you think strong drlng shortens
a mans lifey' ut may, but | never
saw n topper who didn't live out the full
ness OF his days Philadelphia Bulle-
Tin.
who's that horrid little man over
the wayg" oh that's my brother"
How stupid of me, dear; ought to
have known by the likeness. Ally
Sloper.
Listening to a speaker, you can tell
every school teacher In the audience
by the way they look when he mlspro-
nounces q word. Washington Demo
crat.
Surprislng-Mr Gotham Here, sir,
Is some whisky which | have had In
my cellar for twenty years" Col. X ain
tuek-"Well! How did It get lostT-
New York Weekly.
Browne-"waite bring me dozen
oysters on the half she'll" Waiter
SORRY, sab, but we'se all out Of she'll
Dish, sab. 'ceptn' algs.'- Rochester
Union and Advertiser.
Il would like a straw with this lem
onade," said the lady at the table
"HeyY calculated the walter who was
hard of hearing NO; straw, l SAID. >"
-Yonkers Statesman.
Blrdcage Bill-W'ot is a loafer? why,
loafer Is a Teller dat loafs of co,nrse!
The Bowery Chicken-Dat shows your
ignorance. A loafer is Teller t1at loafs
and has no bank account.
Maude-"You wouldn't know my
hance now II you met him. Nell
'Why, has lie changed 50 much as
thatY Maud4e-'rhat isn't IT. exactly.
I've changed him. Pick Me Up.
Mrs. Murphy-"Now, which wan of
youse byes trun that ball t'ro me base
ment windyf" The Pitcher-"All kicks
must be registered with the umpire,
Teddy. Play ball, fellers!'-Up-to-Dat
The Wife-'If you object to giving
tie money always, why don't you give
me so much year and have done with
it!" The Husband-''I do give You so
much That's just what object to-"
Judy.
Salesman-"rh is the fashiona BILE
color, madame" Mme Parvenu-
Every llkely-but can't you let me have
cloth of that local color the painters
talk 80 much abouty'-Le Journal
Amusant
Young Optician-''It seems to be 4
complication OF conjunctivities, pres
byopia and astigmatism." The patient
Say. mister. how many pairs O.
specs'll 1t take to cure 'emy-The
Jewellers Weekly.
Johnny, are your people going to
take you with them on that trip across
the ocean," "Yes'm." Aren't you
sfraidg' Nome. Amt AFRAID Of moth
In. I've been vacclnated an baptized"
Chicago Tribune.
Your voice." said the commanding
officer. ''is decidedly saspIng." Yes,
air." replied the subordinate. touching
his hat. Il have been out roughlng II
with file of soldiers all the morning"
Chicago Tribune.
II hear that Mr.. Whiffietree has Sc
cured a divorce from his wife" said
MIR. Birmingham. He has been mus
tered out OF the matrimonial army"
replied Mr.. Misunderstanding
Chronicle-Telegraph
Benevolent Stranger Ito little boy
l.. fs..at FOR nj Inc
the ground)-a are you searching
for, my dear? What have you lost r
Little Boy-"My balance sir; | tum.
bled Off er that fence Jest now. and
muyyer sed as how I'D lost 1t. so
thought I'd try and find 1t afore father
came home."-Ally Sloper.
Inyentor-Pye hit a money making
thing Mt last The preachers Will 70
wild over it. aud II will sell like hot
cakes. It's church contribution box
Friend-What good Is that! Inventor
IFS a triumph. The coins fall through
slots Of different sizes. and haif-crowns
shillings and sixpences land ON velvet
but the pennies and half-pennies drop
ON to Chinese gong.--Tit-Blss.
Golf Is such an expensive game that
| really cant AFFORD TO play sighed
Mrs. Quiyerfull. That's where you
make great mistake said Mrs
Bowser. Il found 1t great economy
/ don't have 10 keep nurse any more,
as the children are always on the links
with me; we don't have any more doc
tors bills; and besides all that. ! don't