The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-08-22
HOME TREATMENT

Uncle Hoppy's career II Is so weird and
picturesque that 1t trespasses on the un-
real The trouble with Uncle Hoppy was
he got 20 going home nights loaded to
the waters edge with wine. The fact of
the matter IS. he got TO be a regular old
topper. ono night he started for home
more than full He had a beauty of a
jag on. The next day he didn't show up.
Along in the afternoon | went up TO the
spring to see what was the matter There
was "A great, big messy rock on one eide
of the spring, shaded by some tall bushes.
Uncle Hoppy was stretched out on that
rock. He had bound "A broad strip of rib
bon grass around his forehead, and his
head was resting on one hand lie OPEN
ed his eyes and looked up at me, shook
his head feebly, and put his other hand
uIto II. ! saw how il was at once.
Uncle Hoppy had a head on him. | went
right back to the cellar got a small bot
tie. some sugar and some bitters, and
returned TO the spring. l made Uncle
. Iioppy cocktail and | know Just what
he a We said if he could have talked.
He "a We said old man, you've saved
my life Uncle Hoppy didn't say it, but he
looked It.
But Uncle Hoppy was never the same
after that. lie seemed kind of downheart-
ed and ashamed Of himself. But he kept
on taking on his toad and going thome
| Just the same. He seemed to feel that he
| was a confirmed drunkard and that II
couldn't be helped. That was the time
| temperance crusade was booming
| through old Steuben. Everybody was
talking temperance and business got kind
o dun. one day they advertised a tenn
porance meeting at Hammondsport Billy
| Maxwell Of Elmlra, was to speak. Know
| ing Billy when there wasn't red paint
| enough In the country for him to paint
| the southern tier towns in a manner that
wa laf 10
made up my mind 20 go and hear him paint
| things white once. IL was an open air
! meeting. sat off in one corner when
| suddenly something came kerplunk In an
| empty seat next to me. It startled me,
| but. looking down, who should / see but
| Uncle Hoppy He looked up at me so
! blamed serious that / felt sorry for him.
| / saw that Hoppy wanted TO reform.
| BILLY Maxwell made things hum at that
| meeting. People went up TO sign the pledge
| in crowds. BY and by there was a lull in
the proceedings. | looked down, and Hoppy
| was gone A minute later, ! heard a wo-
man. scream and saw her jump back from
| the table where she had just signed the
| pledge. There was Uncle Hoppy He
| had jumped on the table Before the au-
| dience had recovered from It's surprise he
| jabbed one hand in the ink bottle and set
| il square ON the paper. Then he iumped
| down and disappeared ! went up TO the
l
| what the frog had done. There, on the pa
per at the bottom Of a long line OF sigma
lures, was the imprint of Uncle HoDpys
right hand. lie had signed the pledge. AZ
| ter that"
| Col Jim Jones and Counsellor Hassett
walked rapidly from tank TO tank, leaving
| Mr.. Switzcr standing alone, hurt deeply
| But he hid his feelings and overlook the
colonel ana the counsellor. They were gaz-
| ing In at a tank where a oueer-looking
| fish was lying on the bottom, motionless
and contented as a pig in a mud puddle
Just as Mr.. Switzer came up Col Jim
Jones. referring 10 the fish, said TO Coun-
| sellor Hassett:
| did you ever see anything lie easier or
| more comfortably than thatY'
| Not unless 1t was Jack Switzer," said
the counsellor. and Mr.. Switzer must have
heard him. for he has since declared that
he win never tell the tale of Uncle Hoppy
| again.