The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-01
AGE OF THINGS THAT ARE NOT.
COwless MIX. the HenIess Egg, Melt
less Ice and the PIayIess Piano.

less Ice and the PIayIess Piano.
From the Kansas City Star.
Now that the minus craze has started
there is no telling where it will stop. OF
course there are so many things in which
so many of us are minus that it is really
not novelty, but we do not think of it
that way. A great many of us are sense
less and luckless and loveless and peniless
but these will never become fashionable
or popular. The really fashionable things
in the less" line just now are wireless
telegraphy, of which we only read in the
magazines, and the horseless carriage, the
chainless bicycle and sleepess nights,
which have arrived.
But there are endless possibilities in the
minus line, and it only takes a few tai
ented and imaginative inventors 10 get
them here. Take, for instance, the di-
vorceless marriage! What a magnificent
curse or a blessing that might be, accord
ing to circumstances. Or the marriageless
divorced There is a possibility TO make
one wish he was alive when the inventor
of II gets il perfected.
Not long ago the newspapers contained
a very plausible article which told of
man who had invented meltless ice. AS
soon as a cake of ice was frozen IL was to
be dipped in a vat of some chemical that
coated it with thin skin, like that inside
an egg next to the shell. This skin woula
not prevent the ice from giving forth it's
GOODNESS, but would keep the heat from IL
so that il would never melt. Fifty cents
worth of ice would thus last whole sum-
mer When winter came IL could be thrown
into the coal shed and when spring arrlV-
ed again il could be sent down to the rae
tory and given a new skin for the sum
mer and SO last indefinitely. This is In
.1., ,lya1a
most true. but ii will have 70 be burnless
as well as smokeless before il can ever be-
come truly popular
one Of the very first less" things origi-
mated in Kansas. 1t IS remarkable how
Kansas always beats the nation to new
things by neck. ms was soeKless
sinpson. afterward PoDulist congress
man. " no won his scat because he was one
OF the FIRST fashionably minus
E.iram j. DOdds, one of the best inventors
in the country he is one OF The best be
cause he can tel you of hundred paying
things he has invented which were taken
from him because he had not the money
"a gel Them pateated. For instance. he
was the inventor of the thermometer, The
Corliss engine, the Pullman car the steam
boat. the bicycle, The stein, the nickei-in-
the-slot machine, the stogie and the wa
terbury watch. nut someone else always
yot he benefit Of H. Mr.. Dodds is an en-
minus, and he says that in few years
The thing that is not less something or 9TH
er win not be worth having. He is working
on several fire inventions, winch, he
claims. will be a boon 10 mankind and Is
looking for a genial cap tallst VINO VIII
advance him money TO carry on ms WORK
and lake out his patents. one OF the finest
tbines that Prof. Dodds Is engaged on is
he Ioadless gun. This is a contrivance
much in use just now by small boys, who
accidentally shoot their little sisters, be-
cause they did not know the gun was
loaded" Dodd's gun VIII be absolutely
ioadiess. so that the fool boy may Doint
II al his sister or another and pull the
trioeer and they will come forth alive.
Another invention that Is likely to cause
,o,,ch satisfa ction, and Prof. Dodds thinks
he has 1t approaching a possibility, is mis-
srendless money. This money II he is
ahIe TO perfect his scheme, will enable
those who own 1t to go on buying things
with it and yet always have It. He ex-
nects the Populist party to become inter-
ested in this and help him to push ii
tbroueh. Congress would have to take
the matter up, but that part of it could,
of course be easily managed
Col Pat Conner Of the weather bureau
a. verv much interested in an invention
inst now to produce heatless summers.
Sbese will be easily adjustable. Where
there IL a crop Of wheat or corn to be per-
fected the weather will remain unchanged.
Int where it is desired TO have cool.
oouable temperature, Col. Conner will ap-
Nv his invention and summer resort
nh he the result. Col. Conner is so bust
~ engaged on his invention just now that
he has been compelled to neglect the
astber which accounts for the unsea-
sonable GOODNESS of the past two days.
A well known bartender is working ON
an invention that will be a boon TO the
humen race 1t is odorless and drunkless
,,htgxev This may be consumed by any
one and his wife will not detect the fact,
ana he will have spent his time and his
money over the bar just as ne does now
This whIskey will produce what is known
as the jagless drunk. Its advent is eager
lv watched for by a large number of Glove
eaters.
Word comes from the University Of Kan
sas that the janitor of Snow Hall has dis |
covered a remarkable species of the tailless
comet This comet was for long time
thAnsht by the leading astronomers OF the