davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30
BILLY TOOK IT UP AND SHOOK
OUT THE CRACKERS.


OUT THE CRACKERS.
a minute didn't know what to do. I
ran, but the crackers ran with me,
and the faster went, the harder they
popped. Then all at once l saw what
to do, and l pulled off my jacket and
threw it on the grass. Luckily it was
my Jacket, and not my trouser-pocket!
Billy took it up and shook out the
crackers, and then he turned out the
pocket, but there wasn't much left to
turn. 1t was just black rag, and it
dropped into little pieces. Then there
was big piece that looked as If it had
once been white, and that, they said,
was my handkerchief, but l should
never have known it..
Well, Of course they all laughed at
me good deal, but I didn't mind
much, for it really was very funny,
suppose; but my advice to other boys
is: Don't carry crackers in your pock-
ct, and if you do, don't put a lighted
slow-match in with them!
Laura E. Richards.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30
Hirsute statistics.

Blonde hair is finer than that of any
other color. By actual count it has
been ascertained that 400 hairs to the
square inch grow upon the head of a
blonde beauty. The brown comes next
with $50. then comes the black with
1926, and the red with $50 or 26O. After
counting the hairs growing on an inch
square it has been estimated that on
the head Of q blonde there will be
about 149, 900 hairs, while brown suit
Of tresses will have 100000. black
1O2, 900. and red 10000.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30
i DRAINING IN NORTH DAKOTA.

Contracts to BE Let Mt Fargo to the
Old Contractors.
IS Fargo, N. D.-The drainage board is
arranging for some large contracts at
I'M early date. Some parts of the coun-
try are too low for safety. and were
ordered drained before 1.-THE old law
was deciared unconstitutional. Some
work had been done for which the con-
tfaetol'ss receiyed no pay, and the new
board Will attempt to use the old exca-
5yntions and give the contractors the
Job at the Old price. 60 they will lose
3rOthing.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30
CAUGH REDHANDED.
Good Work of Northern Pacific Ex-
press Agent.

Cooperstown. N. Dan attempt was
made to rob the till Of the Northern
Pacific Express company at this place
The 5:45 train had just left and Assist
ant Agent r. q. Lane had retired to
his room off the office, when he was
aroused from his sleep by some one
trying tosOpent the money drawer. He
rose quietly and cornered Mr.. Burglar
with his revolver, Just as hee was in
the act Of filling his pockets with the
change. He was promptly marched
up town and delivered to the sheriff,
where he Will remain until his trial
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30
OUR CELEBRATION.

The birds have been practicing glees,
but today
They gave up their concert and flew
away;
And the locusts and grasshoppers,
noisy and shrill,
Could not make themselves heard and
SO they kept still;
And the clustering wind went off in a
huff,
Since nobody noticed how loud he
could puff.
And the clouds rolled up from the west
For they thought that the noise in the
world below
Was the voice of the thunder to call
them together,
And so they began to make showery
weather.
And the Man in the Moon, being great
ly perplexed
To know whatever would happen next.
Wished for hands or feet, as we'll as
face.
To cover his ears up, or run from his
place.
And the baby stars opened their bright
y little eyes,
And stared down below with the great
est surprise
To see how the rockets shot up in the
sky
But they never guessed out
What it all was about,
That we were just keeping the Fourth
Of July.
-Peresis Gardiner.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30
wanted His stud.

"Mrs. Joy-Oh, John, run for the
physician. The baby's swallowed your
diamond stud"
Her Bachelor Brother-Physician be
hanged! I'll bring a surgeon.-Jewel-
els Weekly.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30

Mrs. wlnslow's soothing Syrup.
For children teethng, Softens the gums. reduces In
nammation Ilays pain. cures wind collie. CSC bottla
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30

I know that my life was saved by Piso's
Au Sable, Michigan, April 81, 1895.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30
The Only One.

Robbie" said the visitor, "have you
any brothers and sisters%'
'No," replied Robbie. "I'm all the
children we've got."-Cincinnati En-
qulrer.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30
His Experience.

Mrs. Waff1es-What is the longest
time you ever got along without foodY
Professor once lived three days ON
my wife's cooking.-Leslie's Weekly.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30

FITS Permanently Cured. No fits nervousness after
first days use of DR.. Knnes Great Nerve Restorer.
Send for FREE $500 trial bottle and treatise.
De. r. H. KLINE, Ltd sSl Arch ST., Philadelphia, Pa.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30

To fasten lie upon a person, you
must nail it.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30
Tonmy,s Retort.

Tommy-That church is over 2OO
years old.
Cissy-My auntie says it's only 100.
Tommy-Oh, we'll, suppose that's as
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30

Poverty is no disgrace, but it is sell
dom used as q testimonial Of ability.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30

Was there ever anything in life Just
as you'd expected it to be?
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30

How many women are economical in
the matter Of pins.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30
Life to a Lazy Liver,

Lazy. leaden livers cause nine tenths of all
deaths. Give your liver life with Cascas>ts
Candy Cathartic and save your own life! All
druggists 1Oc, &c. Soc.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30

1t is as hard to kill real love as it is
to find it.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30

What some public speakers need Ii
better, terminal facilities.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30
Exhibita at Parls.

There will be a large exhibit from
this country at the Paris exposition In
1900, which will prove very interesting
to all, but no more so than the news
that the famous American remedy.
Hostetter's Stomach Biters, will cure
dyspepsia, indigestion and constipation.
To all sufferers trial Is recommended.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30

Lugubriously CAesrfsl.
Miss Ethel-Muslc always makes mo
feel sad; doesn't 1t you, Mr.. Studs?
Mr.. Suds-Yes; but like tits aw.
fully jolly to feel sad, don't y KNOW
Brooklyn Life.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30

Halls Catarrh Cure
Is constitutional cure. Price, 75c.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30

Cause and Eject.
'My wife's got cold again, DOCTOR"
he said,
Like a man who for grievance has
cause;
despite all my protests, she would
go last night
To the ball in a dress made OF
gauze."
Though the doctor tried hard to look
grave, on his face
Was a smile not so hard to detect,
As he answered: "That settles the
matter at once,
It's plain case of gauze and effect"
Buffalo Courier.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-30
Are You Using Allen. Foot-Ea,e,

Arc You Using Aliens Foot-Eases
1t is the only cure for Swollen,
Sinarting, Burning, Sweating Feet.
Corns and Bunions. Ask for Aliens
Foot Ease, powder to be shaken into
the shoes. At all Druggists and Shoe
Stores, Csc. Sample seat FREE Adj
dress, Allen s. Olmsted; Leroy, n. Y.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01
QUAINT AND CURIOUS,

Horses in the Philippines are Curl
osity. The few that are raised in the
islands are too small to brand.
There is rosary in the British
museum made of the vertebra of u
snakes backbone. Another is com.
posed of rats teeth.
The Dutch fishermen kill the fish
caught as soon as they reach the shore,
while the French fishermen leave their
booty to die of suffocation.
In England the year formerly began
with the 25th of March. 1t was not
until 1852 that the first of January
was made the beginning of the legal
year.
The Clarendon Street Baptist church
of Boston has a Chinese Sunday
school whose average attendance is 200.
This school supports two native mis-
sionaries in China.
Untamed camels are not the docile
creatures they are taught to become
after months of breaking. In the wild
state they are extremely vicious, and
can kick harder, higher, swifter and
oftener than mule, and sometimes
seem to use all four feet at once.
Mrs. Ann Smith of Worcester, Eng
land, 11O years of age, has spent over
hundred years of her life in trav-
cling from fair to fair in van. She
has had sixteen children, and one of
her daughters, now 80 years of age,
has also had sixteen. Mrs. Smith
eats four meals day, drinks sparingly
of intoxicants, smokes clay pipe
steadily, and attends to oil her house
hold duties herself.
Begun twenty-five years ago, the
British Museum catalogue of birds
has just been completed, in twenty.
seven large volumes. 1t attempts to
give list of every kind of bird known
at the time of publication, and de.
scribes 11,6l4 species, belonging to
2255 genera and 124 families; 400, 600
specimens, $50, 900 OF which are in the
British Museum collection, are re-
ferred to in the work.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01
ago, banished to Lapland. It was a
matter of political expediency."

ago, banished to Lapland. 1t was a
matter of political expediency.'
1t is customary for tho inhabitants
of the Caucasus to possess arms, but
the Doukhobors feel THAT so long rs
you possess weapon tits difficult to alb.
stain from usingit when any one comes
to steal your horse or COW. So to re-
move temptation and to hold fast to
the rule "Resist not him that is evil, !"
they resolved to destroy eli their arms.
This decision was carried out stimuli
taneously in the three districts they
inhabited, on the night of 2Sth OF
June, 1895. In the Kars district the
affair passed off quietly. In the gov
ernment OF Elisavetpol the authorities
made it nm excuse for arresting forty
Doukhobors, who were kept in con6ne-
ment more than two years. But it
was in the government of TiAis that
the most amazing results followed.
A large assembly of Doukhobor men
and women attended the ceremony OF
burning the arms, and accompanied it
by singing psalms or hymns. The
bonfire was already burning down,
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01
PithY Retorts.

"Oh, don't that hay smell delight
fully!" exclaimed the summer boarder
somewhat ungrammatically, as the
New Hampshire farmer drove her near
a field CT mown grass.
'<Humph!" retorted the farmer, sit
smells of hard work.
The answer illustrates the grim
humor of the New England farmer of
the olden time, whose hereditary sem.
tentiousness restricted him to brief
but strong expressions. Another IL
lustration of this grim, pithy humor is
given in the history of the Massachu-
setts town of Pelham.
John Harkness, a farmer OF that
town, while plowing a gravelly knoll,
one autumn day, had halted the oxen
to rest just as a gentleman, driving q
rair of horses, passed up the high hill
road near by. The gentleman, stop
ping his turnout, bade the farmergood
morning and added:
'.May I ask you.one question"
sWhat is it?' answered the farmer.
"What will such land as you are
plowing bear?"
i'It will bear manure, sir, answered
the farmer; and laying hold OF the
plow handles, he started up his cattle.
Youths Companion.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01
Literary Men and Honors.

Honors for literary men are rare.
There was Scott's baronetcy (he want
ed it as man of family with feudal
principles, not as a man of letters),
and he got it. The sheriff was knight
ed by nature, and they gave him his
spurs. 1t is probable that, several
men of letters have managed to de-
cline official honors. When Lord
Tennyson accepted gracefully what
his sovereign gracefully and CRATE
fully gave, some literary persons
"booed'' at him. The great poet
neither coveted nor churlishly refused
official recognition. To him the mat
ter, we may believe, was' purely in
different. And it really is Indifferent
to most men of letters. Knighthoods,
rs a common rule, come to The be-
knighted because of their much ask
ing, except when they come in an
official routine in the public service.
Having nothing official about as, hav-
ing no routine, we cannot look to re-
ceiving ribbons and orders. And, !
hope, we cannot be expected to sue,
and poster, and hint and intrigue for
bits of ribbons! Is it not agreeable
to be out of that kind of work, to pull
no strings, to solicit no academician
for his vote and interest? Am | to
envy my college contemporaries, who,
being of certain seniority in the pub
lie service, blossom into K. G. B. 8.
North American Review.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01
A Reign of Terror.

A sort of reign of terror prevails in
the neighborhood of Candlewood hill,
in Groton, Conn, because of the
gathering in the dense wood at the
foot of the hill, in consequence OF the
wintry weather, of three lyn1es:
People living in the neighborhood
have become so frightened at
the sight and sound of these
animals that they dare not venture
far into the woods. Several per-!
sons have seen the lynxes, which
are very large and ugly. One nan
with gun in his hand was SO fright
ened by coming upon them unexpect-
edly that he ran like a madmau tor
half mile to neighbours house with
out stopping, ng,-New York Sun.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01
in the country of their adoption. and
in the United States also, a "Tolstoi
Fund" has been raised with the same

in the country of their adoption. and
in the United States also, a sTolstoi
Fund" has been raised with the same
object. =
ieaaseis 2R Refaf e effgfh Ge sis oaageF
days he is said not to have been as
steady MS he should have been. Those
were days when the Doukhobors, hav-
ing been exiled by Nicholas I. to the
Caucasus, had settled on the lands al
lotted to them, bleak as those lands
were. Conscription had not as yet
been introduced into the Caucasus to
trouble them, and they waxed fat, for
got to obey the precepts of their
fathers, smoked. drank strong drink,
ate meat, accumulated private prop
erty, discussed their religion as q
matter of intellectual interest, and
eased their consciences by being very
Charitable. They founded ovid
ows' House." for the aged, the or
phans, or such as by any misfortune
were in want. Their widows He @se"
accumulated capital of some $780,
600; and with so much property they
were dragged into the net of the law,
to have recourse to which was contrary
to their principles.
On the death of the woman who had
been regarded as their leader for many
years, and in whose hands the disposal
Of these charity funds had rested, the
courts of justice decided that the
money should be regarded as the per.
sonal property Of her heirs. This led
to q split among the Doukhobors, who
nun bered about 10000 at that time.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01

A large body of sturdysmen and
women, exiled from their native land
on account of their religions opinions,
consisting OF 1000 of the 1880 Russian
Quakers, known MS DoukEobors. or
''Tolstoi's pets" who are asttling in
the Canadian Northwest eriYed at
st. John, N. B., few dayg ago and
Immediately proceeded byral to their
new home.
When the Doukhoborg iahded on
Canadian soil they were crested by q
party of their representatives in
America, among them being the Rus
sian Prince HilkoH. Their arrival
was made the occasion ofta service
consisting of prayer and snpplication
in which they gave thanksP God for
having brought them safely e land
of freedom.
Prince Bilkoff said the Fselch Gov
ernment had offered free Ita1sporta-
tion to the Doukhobors to- settle in q
French colony. The offer vas de-
clined, as the people preferred to set
tie in Anglo-Saxon dominiohs where
they would not be subject tof2nscrip-
tion.
The Universal Brotherhopd Chris
tians, as the Doukhobors q. b, Spir-
it-Wrestlers") prefer to be c4hd, have
suffered terrible persecution, Especially
since June, 1895, and many q them
have died for their faith.
The Russian Governmentfhss ban
ished the men of these Petple By
scores to distant parts of SiPeiia. 1t
has used its arbitrary powSFEo send
Cossacks to attack and foglsrse num-
bers of unarmed and unresithg men
and women; to quarter Cesscks on
villages where they outraged women;
to uproot an industrious settlement of
peaceful people; to obligeItlem to
abandon their cultivated la1ls; to re-
duce many of them to th{ verge Of
starvation; to confne ppllation,
accustomed to the cold climate of a
district lying 5000 feet aboyI tie sea-
level, in hot and unhealthy alleys,
where ont of 1000 people about 1000
perished within three yeaig;;to do
men to death by fogging, nhdrfeed-
ing, and physical violencs5 y the
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01
MASCOT ATE THE SHIPS PAINT.
Sailors of the Gloucester Make Capture
and Rue IT.


and Rue IT.
It was seven bells in the forenoon
watch of the blistering July day when
the auxiliary cruiser Gloucester sent
ashore landing party at the quaint
Porto Rican seaport Guanica. The
party had landed three hours earlier
and had done its duty with the regu-
lars of Miles army in sending the
Dons skedaddling into the heavy
tropical forests which fringe the foot
hills of the Porto Rican coast.
1t was now IN hour of relaxation.
In an unlucky moment Spanish BAN
tam cockerel emerged from under a
house and emitted lusty cro~. Then
it was that Lieutenant Norman gave
his historical order: "All hands chase
chickensw The line of excited men
o'-warmen scattered in untactical dis
order, pursuing the gallinaceous
enemy.
'It was more work to capture one
of those clipper-built 25-knot chick
ems than to sink the Pluton, said Mr..
Chapman. ..'I Thought I had the fowl
foul when she tackled ship, leaving me
in stays: In minute she was hull
down on the horizon. I ran across the
bows of rooster by pure luck and
put him out of commission. Later /
grabbed anotherby his tail, and wrung
his neck"
Paymaster Down had his sport also.
Proceeding ON a private expedition,
he sighted goat with progeny around
her to the number of four. He took
her in tow in triumph. Following
the instincts of good Mother Nature,
the four little goats, who split even,
two being Nannies and two. Billies,
trailed along behind. One of the
Billies was drafted as mascot for the
battleship Massachusetts and tue
other Billie was retained as the
Gloucester's special mascot. The lat
ter Immediately distinguished himself
by eating the saddle of the Colts
automatic gun.
After he had got his sea legs on
things would disappear as completely
as if they had been thrown into the
lucky bag. One fine morning the
ships painter was coming on deck
with pail of red lead.
clay aft, McGeer' sang out a
weather beaten bos'n's mate.
Dropping his pail, the painter
obeyed this order. Returning in ff-
teen minutes, he found that the con-
tents of the pail had disappeared.
Billy had also disappeared. He was
found leaning against the armorer's
chest in highly suspicious condi-
ton. His whiskers were Us crimson
as Harvard football players sweater.
Hospital Steward Cox gave him emetic
after emetic. 1t was in vain. The
animal grew "dopier" and "dopier," "
and was put ashore finally. Undoubt-
edly he would have made a satisfac-
tory deep sea lead if he had been kept
on board day longer.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01

A considerable majority of them re-
garded Peter Verigin as the new leader.
His conduct at this trying time ap-
pears to have been remarkable. He
refused advantageous offers made to
him, and set himself energetically to
work to revive the old faith and the
old custom of the Doukhobors. He
and they returned to vegetarianism
and total abstinence from intoxicants.
They left off smoking. They redivided
their property voluntarily, SO as to do
away with the distinctions between
rich and poor, and they again began
to insist on the strict doctrine of nom
resistance. The Government felt that
Peter Verigin had better be removed,
especially as the conscription was then
being introduced into the Caucasus.
He was therefore, about twelve years
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-03-01

and day had already dawned, when
two Cossack regiments arrived upon
the scene and were ordered to charge
the Doukhobors. The Cossacks charged
and Isl peasants, sfsy 81
stinctively stopped when close upon
them, and only when the order to at
tack had been repeated did they again
advance and begin to fog men and
women indiscrininately with their
whips. They struck right and left,
cutting the heads and faces of the
people; and when the lashes of their
whips were wearing out, orders were
given to attach fresh lashes to the
whips, and the hogging recommended
Few stranger scenes are recorded in
history. Here were some thousands
Of people bent on carrying outthe die
tates of their religion, which was the
Christian religion professed by
their Government. And here were two
regiments of Cossacks cruelty Though
in some cases reluctantly beating men
and women, till clothes and ground
were stained with blood, and their
psalms were turned into cries for
mercy and into groans Of pain.
Why this was done nobody seems
to know. No one was tried for it, and
no one was punished for it, nor has
any apology OF explanation ever been
offered to the Doukhobors. The au-
thorities in st. Petersburg depend for
their information on the local authori-
ties who committed this blunder or
perpetrated this crime. The news
papers have strict instructions not to
make any reference to such matters;
and three friends of Leo Toletoi's,
Vladimir Tchertkoff, Paul Birnkoff,
and Ivan Tregonboff, who went to ST.
Petersburg with carefully worded
statement of what had occurred. and
who wished to see the Emperor about
it, were banished, without trial and
without being allowed to make the
matter public.
Punishment fell not on those who
had done the wrong, but on those who
had suffered it INTERESTINGLY. Co.'S
sacks were quartered on their village,
and there outraged women and stole
property. -Four thousand people had
to abandon their homes, sell their we'll.
cultivated lands at q few days notice,
and be scattered in banishment to un.
healthy districts, where about 1000 Of
them perished in three years of want,
disease, or ill-treatment.