The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-12-24
EDITING KlPLING
How His Poems Are Toned Down
For Chicago Music Halls

How His Poems Are Toned Down
For Chicago Music Halls
Wallace Bruce Amsbary, the mono
logist, who is appearing this week at
the Chicago opera house in recitations
from the works of Kipling, Riley and
"Dooley," was after his first appear
ance informed by Manager Kohl that
he would have to edit Kipling's poems
or give up his engagement, says the
Chicago Inter-Ocean.
Edit Kiplingl What do you mean?'
cried Amsbary.
Come here and I'll show you," re-
piled the manager.
He led the bewildered reader behind
the stage and pointed to a placard on
the wall On this was painted in big,
black letters:
'An performers are enjoined from us
ing the words God liar damn,
hell etc"
Amsbary made a vigorous protest,
saying that Kiplng expurgated would
be "as moonlight unto sunlight and as
water unto wine"
Cant help it," replied Mr. Kohl.
"Kipling can't override the rules of
this playhouse. If you're going to re-
cite his poetry here you'll have to Sc
lect the gems with no cuss words in
them or cut them where they do ap-
pear. On me, if I'll have any swear
ing on this stage"
But" protested Amsbary, "Kipling
has made his fame by portraying SOL
der life as it is, and 1 have recited
these poems in churches, Chautauqua
circles and private parlors all over the
country, and nobody ever thought of
having them changed. The critics
won stand it,"
1.-THE critics be d-d!" roared the
manager whats the use of cuss
words in the poems, anyway? Won't
they be just as good without EN-?
Let's have an example,
''Well, take the poem of 'Gunga
Din, said the reader. 'The strong
est verses are those where the trooper
declares his religion, which gives even
Ito condemned souls the attribute of
mercy What are you going to do
with this:
He'll be sittin' on the Goals
Givin' drink to poor damned souls,
And I'll get a swig in hell from Gunga Din.
Don't you see how utterly impossible
it is to leave out the words your sign
prohibits without running the poem?"
''No, l don't" replied the manager
stoutly, "rll edit the lines for you"
And, placing a sheet of blank paper
against a wing, he wrote:
He'll be sittin' on the GOALS
Givin' drink to poor lost souls,
And I'll get a swig below from Gunga Din.
There, that is much more genteel,
and won't offend my patrons. Are
there any more lines like that?"
''Well, there's Fuzzy Wuzzy, p"
stammered Amsbary. That's pretty
strong, too. The lines are like this:
Els a daisy e's ducky. 'e's a lamb;
Els an iniia rubber idiot on a spree;
Els the on'y thing that doesn't give damn
For a regiment O British infantree."
That's easy" smiled Manager Kohl.
Just change the last word in that
third line to rap and you've got it.
See? Talk about not touching Kip
ling without hurting his stuff! Why,
I'll bet I could go through his books
and make all of them good reading for
Sunday school class-as clean as a
work Of Longfellow."
COR the Sweet Singer of Michigan -
L, y,
this won't do. Rap don't rhyme with
lamb worth a cent. Kipling is a
pretty freq lance when it comes to
rhyming, but he will never sanction
that attempt"
May not be rhyme" said the man
ager sententiously, but it's pure. and
that's what goes in my house. Co on,
now, and do your turn, but take care
that there is no swearing in your po-
etry. Kipling may be allowed privi-
leges in Chautauqua circles and church
concerts, but the vaudeville must be
kept clean: See?"
Here's another line" stammered
Amsbary. Must I fix it? 1t runs like
this:
BY the living God that made you,
You're a betterman than am,Gunga Din
Must you fix it? Well, 1 should re-
mark yes. Just knock out that fourth
word and substitute Being I guess
that will be within the rules"
| And so Kipling is being recited to the
audiences at the Chicago opera house
/ as revised, amended and corrected by
Manager Kohl When Amsbary comes
/ to hard word now, he drops it and
substitutes gosh darn" or "gast it"
or gee whiz."
/ 1t strikes an admirer of the rugged
! if sometimes blasphemous lines of Kip
| ling as rather strange to hear in the
| galloping swing of the ballad of
East and West" a voice crying from
over the footlights: Gee whiz, she has
carried a mani" But the crowd doesn't
know or doesn't care, and applauds the
mutlated lines with the same liberality
with which they applaud the ragtime
| dance the cakewalk and the girl in
short skirts who sings "II leave my
| happy home for you"
When it was announced that Kip
! ling's works We're to be excluded from
some of the Sunday schools, his admi-
rers were indignant enough. Critics
are wondering what viii be their atti-
4 tude when they learn that an expur-
| gated edition was necessary to let him
into vaudeville. And Kipling himself
| is yet to be heard from.