The Winslow mail., 1899-02-04
NOT THE REAL THING.
The MaD in the Uniform Was Made
Uncomfortable by Sarcastic
Remarks.

A young officer of one of the local
companies is home.ona furlough. Nat
urally he is the herecipient Of a great deal
OF attention. I his comes not alone
from his numerous friends, but from
the general public. which still-al-
though the novelty is wearing off-re-
CARDS the returned soldiers with spe-
cial eye. This applies with special
force to the feminine public
Well his particular cll,1l1n is a loud
youth whose soul is fl1et VIII 4eeret
every time he thinks of his lost mil
tary opportunities Nevertheless he
chairs his soldier friend unmercifuI1y
over whatihe calls cheap notoriety.
Il tell you" he said. SITS thine. but
the uniform that they care fer. 1t isn't
the man by any means. If they devised
cornfield scarecrow in soldier clothes
you'd find pretty girls by the score
throwing kisses at it across the rural
fence"
NO said the soldier. stoutly, you re
wrong. It's a mixture Of man and uni
form. The man alone wouldn't be run
after, and as for the empty uniform,
WELL there wouldn't be anything al
tractive in that either, but take the
man and uniform together, and there
you have it"
Wouldn't any man do?'' asked the
sarcastic youth
''No. he Wouldn't retorted the sol
der; cit takes man who looks as if he
belonged in the clothes to draw the
right sort of attention"
Nonsense said the chum; 'any old
masculine would Go. and I'll bet on it. .
"How much?' queried the soldier.
'1lil bet you spotted fall necktie
that L can put on your uniform, so
down town and attract the very same
kind of attention that you do.''
The soldierrefiected moment.
Its a go,' he said. TRY it this
evening. Put or the clothes and let
me know the result"
So the confident youth donned the
natty suit. ard trimmed down the flow
ing mustache, and put On the jaunty
cap.
"You makeea veTysweet-looking war
rior, said the real soldier
Don't ~ flippantly returned the
youth. as he gracefully touched his car
and pirouetted through the door.
With his shoulders squared and his
cap pulled down over his eyes, he start
ed for the nearest car. He swung him
| self aboard and took a seat Immediately
in front Of two pretty girls.
He noticed as he came in that every
body on board turned to look at him !:
and this filed his heart with delight
He sat belt upright, wondering what
the pretty girls would think Of him.
He didn't really expect to be kissed,
but he was prepared for almost any
thing.
Pretty soon ne realized that the girls
were whispering about him.
A word or two came to him above the
smooth roll Of the car. His ears were
strained to the utmost and his hearing
is abnormally excellent.
Pretty, isn't he?" murmured one
girl
YES, quite too pretty" giggled the
other.
Just out CT the bandbox," whispered
the first girl.
"or the moth bag" said the other
girl. r
why, sylvia!" Then a soft duet of
giggles. 74 s0~A*
Hasn't he lovely complexion?''
Hasn't he! Not.a mite of tam"
perhaps he wears aveil?"
why, Laura!' More giggles.
Cant be a real soldier, can he?''
"No-o-o. The idea!'' - -.
But the uniform?"
perhaps the real soldiers went away
and forgotghim
Prolonged giggling. j.
ooh, Laura, I've guessed it."
"Well, what is it?"
"He isn't a soldier
81 guessed that =,
"He's a recruiting officer"
A few moments later the make-believe
soldier stopped the car and alighted
Then he walked back.
"Jim," he said, as he flung the cap on
the chiffonier, ''you've won!'-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.