Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-09-10

kind Of literature, and / guess I know
enough about these trains to give 'en
answers. Anyhow. I'll try"
At that moment a woebegone speci-
men Of a farmer came up to the window
and poked his head in as far as the
broad straw hat he wore would admit.
He said:
kin yew tell me now I kin git home
best?"
why certainly answered the at
fable young man, automobiles are all
the rage. and I'd try one if the roads
aren't too sandy"
What's that 'ere?" queried the far
mer.
where do you liye-at Imply
Umptyville?"
"No. stree. that amt nothin' like the
name. I want to sit tew Baekshads
Corners"
"Ahi indeed. Well. your train has
Just left. It'll be back here in a few
minutes. though. Just so in the bag
gage room and get checked"
In a dazed manner the countrym
left and the young nan ligted a cigar
cite ~nonchalantly. His smoke was in
terrupted a moment later by the arrival
OF a dusky charmer. who gave him her
-.4.~4 --,sY. 81. -. a-t-aI.
"Das nah bruver standin' out dar
waitin' TO- de uptown ar. Kin yo'
tell him whar he'll sit ito"
Eyes; he'll get it where he isn't look
ing for it if he don't get OF the track"
Then the interrogation saw the trouble
ana ran to tell her brother, who was
staring up in the air. He walked up
and said:
Whereabouts does I sit de car toe
take me toe de pos'once?'
You'd better walk up to the post
Office and take it there. Then you'll
be certain not to miss II"
Thank 20 sah.' and the pair moved
off.
We'll. I answered those questions all
right. and l hope won't have any more
Of those daffy people to contend with.
I'm beginning to get stuck on this job.
I'd as soon"
Eyes. Miss" he said to a young lady
who had just approached the window,
what can do for your"
"Td like to know If you wouldn't let
me tie my little pet Ffdo in your office
while l take dinner in the next room.
They won't let me bring him in there,
teh cruel t~hings!"
certainly, Miss; pass him right
through here"
The dog was handed through and tied
to a table leg.
Promise me on your word OF honor
that you'll treat my Fido nicely?" said
the young woman,
"Why. OF course said the informa-
ton man, "the only thing necessary
will be that I'll have to punch little
Fido's ear with this private stamping
machine to show that he has passed
through my hands"
The young lady's hands went up in
s~peechless horror, and she fairly threw
herself at the window.
"Give me my Edo! Give me my
Fido!" she fairly shrieked.
The dog was passed back to her, and
she went off kissing 1t and murmuripg:
poor little darlie; was he goin' to punch
is little carr"
"Some woman'n leave her kin here
next" said the young man with a smile,
"and then I'll resign my place"
An excited man then a UP to tho
window and threw down a $40 note.
shouting: Gimme a ticket right awayl
I've only got n minute to make the
train for home!"
REST easy, sir" said the urbane
young man., earelessly looking at the
! clock; you've got IS minutes to catch
I that train. The schedule has been
changed"
as that so?" asked the persplring
man; well, l ran all the way to the
station, and I'm well used up. Have a
cigar?"
Don't care II l do. BY the way.
where do you Liver"
"Rattlin' Racehorsesi Don't you
know"
How should II"
well. great mud-scowsl How'd You
know | had IS minutes?
Il thought you were the president OF