davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26
WHEN WEBSTER BECOMES v. p

WIEN VEDoIBH BbCOhbp ~ -
When John l.. Webster becomes vice
president, Windsor castle will be moved
to Omaha and the lion and unicorn on
the royal crest will give way to the sew
enteen-year locust with outstretched
wings displaying the symbolic letter w.
The letter w, which the Egyptian as
trologers interpreted to stand for war,
also stands for wheat and Webster.
When Webster becomes vice presi-
dent, the Webster Zouaves will stand
guard in London tower and his royal
highness, the prince of Wales, will hob.
mob arm in arm in front Of the Webster
street depot with Omaha's great snobo.
crat.
When Webster becomes V. p, the long
felt want for liveried footman and out
riders will be supplied by direct i'm
portation from the. capitals of Europe
and the court tailor of the duke of York
will set the pace for the American
House of Lords in the chromatic vests
and aromatic trousers of its presiding
officer.
w hCh NCp btCoulCS v. thC
perial haberdashers of Berlin and VI
emma will vie with each other in send
ing to America the most fascinating
neckties, and BARRIERS as well as wait
ers will have to wear dress suits when
they serve the great V. p.
When Web becomes V. p, Aladdin's
famous air castle with twenty three dia-
mond windows will be erected in verify
in Washington and champagne will flow
more freely on the Potomac than Mis-
souri, river water in Omaha.
When Webster becomes V. p, his
regal retinue and gorgeous wardrobe
will so outshine everything ever seen
at the national capital that President
Mckinley will at once abdicate in his
favor and make way for the iridescent
knight of the looking-glasses, whose halo
will be more effulgent than the midday
sun and whose colossal intellect will
guide divine providence in fulfilling the
manifest destiny of England linked to
America in the dominion of the uni
verse, with old glory planted on the
planet Mars and the union jack flutter-
ing in the milky way.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

Old Fort Omaha is already a beau
tiful spot and with care the coming
years will greatly add TO its beauties,
1t is gratifying to know that there is
no intention TO abandon the place, but
to make 1t resting ground for soldiers
brought from the tropics in which they
can recuperate. AS long as the gov
ernment needs such places no good
reason exists why II should not utilize
such fort in preference TO purchasing
new ones, which will require years TO
bring TO the perfection and beauty of
old Fort Omaha.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26
BUSINESS of the Banks.

iIuldHdSoiiS NeWS.
Within the decade the number of ndivid-
ual depositors in banks of all kinds in the
United States has increased from 670S,971 to
13153,S74, and the total deposits have
grown from s3.776, ,410,4O2 to s7,513, ,954 .36l.
That is, the number OF depositors was
doubled between 1889 and 1899 as well as the
aggregate of deposits. Still the unparalleled
growth will not prevent class of dema-
gogues from declaring that the masses grow
poorer with the passage of the years.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

Chicago people think they have turned
IA coup d'etat by persuading Admiral
Dewey to celebrate the anniversary of
the battle of Manila. May l, in their
city. They promise that he will be able
to sail into Lake Michigan as easy as he
did into Manila bay. If that induce
ment does not prove successful the
dawbrldges over the Chicago river
should be raised and &he hero given a
full sweep of those untried waters.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

The viaduct which south siders have
seen in their visions spanning Sixteenth
street is now in a fair way to become
reality. If people appreciate most the
things which require the most effort to
secure the viaduct will be one of the
choicest prizes ever landed by the peo.
pie of Omaha.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26
DOMESTIC PLEAsANTRIES.

Chicago Record: Are you sure you love
that .aIrsi, sir?" .,. H. ~ o..,.,
get a letter from her and after 1 get it l
can't work"
New Orleans Times: The Wife-I wonder
why little Ethel is so d:sobedent, John?
The Husband-I don't know. my dear, un-
less your marrying me against your par
ents' wishes has something to do with 1t.
Chicago Tribune: Anyhow" beloved
the husband. you cant say anybody drove
mol" shrieked the wife. "You persuaded
me to elope with you in an automobiles"
Somervile Journal: The average farmers
wife doesn't know how badly she is treated
for a fashion magazine that shows her
monthly all the latest styles
Chicago Post: What is there so re-
markable about her?"
why, she's a woman who never kept
house in her life and yet she doesn't think
she could settle the servant girl problem
Detroit Journal: Thy slender waist"
cried the lover in rapturous rhapsody.
Shyly she raised her eyes to his.
You talk like a, ma man who has s,,lo some, s,
In this moment she seemed, If possible
more beautiful than ever
Pittsburg Chronicle: "Yes," repeated Mr.
Beechwood my wife !s-certainly very
capable woman"
"of course, we know that" replied Mr.
Greenfield. but in what capacity is she
II was just thinking that last Christmas
!, made her present of a fountain pen
She has been using that pen ever since
and it is still in excellent order"
Chicago News: Yes" said the, .sad..eyed
passenger, my wife was the belle of the
town when courted her and had rivals
by the scoie
just the same, eh? observed the hardware
drummer.
II don't know. / don't know answered
the other. a far-away look in his eyes, but
l married her, anyway"
Chicago Tribune: The angry father strobe
into the parlor.
Girls" he said, "who are these young
men?"
Papa" replied one of the daughters,
this Is M. Young and this is Mr.. Yates"
Whereupon the old gentleman invitingly
opened the door.
"Gt" he thundered
And they got. A word to the Y's was
sufficient.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

started as soon as the crop was har-
vested and was rushed through until
the west was practically drained of its
surplus. This year the farmers are not
forced to sell at once and the ordinary
exchanges of business are furnishing
the money necessary to move what of
the crop is offered, while the usual call
for currency from the east is dispensed
NNitl
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26
Hauling Down the Flag.

The attention of persons who affect to be-
lieve that it is disgrace to any nation to
haul down it's flag in any territory that 1t
has once floated over is called to the with
drawal of the British flag from Samoa. AS
quickly as our cousins determined that it
was best for all hands that they should get
out of Samoa, they got out. No absurd senti-
ment against hauling down the British flag
had any weight with them.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26
Crowdins Schools and Colleges.

IHuldnaUOIIS JOuTnHI.
Evidence of the prosperity OF the country
comes from an unexpected source. United
States Commissioner Of Education Harris
states in his annual report that the aggre-
gate attendance in schools and colleges was
much larger last year than the year before,
the increase in schools being 432 900 and in
colleges about 1000. Thus it appears that
prosperity stands for education and hard
times for illiteracy.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

Thanksgiving day will be distin-
puished this year as usual for the many
Foot hall contests that will be decided
pn the gridiron at that time. One cause
for giving thanks will therefore be that
the day practically concludes the foot
hall season.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

The members of the State Board OF
Transportation have given evidence OF
life. They announce that In case the
change from carload to hundred.pound
rates works an increase of rates they
will interfere The announcement IS
not likely to create any uneasiness at
railroad headquarters.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

Northwestern university is about to
appeal to public-spirited citizens for DO
nations and contributions to- give 1t an
endowment of $2,OOO,0OO. We know OF
several colleges and universities that
will be glad to take up the same pro-
gram in case the appeal proves success
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

Enough candidates for the vice presi'
dencv are already in the field to supply
vice presidents for nearly every state
in the union. What a misfortune that
the country cannot maintain more than
one at a time.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26
(Seal.)

Omaha marksmen have been down III
Kansas City showing the Missourians.
Their success is attested by the iac'
that their scores are several poih's
higher than their competitors.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

While the democrats are discussing
running mates for Bryan next year
why do they neglect Fred White ana
General Weaver Of Iowa. Both OF
them have been defeated so often that
nnce more would not hurt them any.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

1t is reported that Secretary Gage is
in favor Of the establishment of ma
tional bank in Cuba. Before we can
have national bank In Cuba, however,
there will have to be a national govern.
ment. When the Cubans have enough
business to maintain such a banking in,
stltution the bank will be forthcoming
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

Geographically Omaha Is happily SIT
uated for permanent military recruit
ing station, which fact is evidently ap-
preciated by the high officials of the
War department, For similar reasons
this city is just the place for military
supply depot, which may be expected
to materialize in due time.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

The New York banks are experienc-
ing some of the benefit of the changed
financial conditions in the west. In
years past at this season it has been
found necessary to ship immense sums
of money to the west for the purpose
Of moving the crop. This movement
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

The cases against republican superin-
tendents of public institutions, which
were the outgrowth of the Beal sena-
torial investigating committee work,
having served the political purpose for
which they were intended, the attorney
general is dismissing them. They were
so weak the law department was un-
willing TO try them.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

The Filipino government is about as
hard to find as was the Cuban govern
ment in the days of Weyler and Blanco.
Mr.. Aguinaldo must be convinced by
this time that it is highly futile to try
conclusions with Uncle Sans soldier
boys. The beginning of the end Is at
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26
A SATISFACTORY AGREEMENT.

The commercial agreement recently
concluded between France and the
United States appears to be regarded
with entire satisfaction in the former
country. In the course of speech in
the Chamber of Deputies Friday the
agreement, which is snder the reci-
procity provision of our tariff law, was
referred to by the minister of foreign
affairs, NJ Delcasse, who said that it
will give a fresh impetus to the com
merce of the two peoples, "who are
united by history and similarity Of
political institutions and can never
cease to be, save by misunderstand-
ing of their evident interests" There
is no doubt that French trade with
this country will profit by the agree
ment, but 1t is somewhat less certain
whether American commerce with
France will be very materially bene-
flied, though it may be slightly i'm
proved. 1t is the policy Of France to
carefully protect the interests of agrl-
culture and the reciprocity agreement
makes no concessions to our agrlcul-
tural interests, or none that promises
to be of much value.
However, it's tendency will certainly
be to draw the two countries closer to.
gether commercially and thus to
strengthen the friendship between
them, now as cordial as it has ever
been at any time. The trade results
Of this agreement will be regarded with
interest by other continental countries,
particularly Germany, and may have
the effect to enlarge the area of reci-
procity arrangements in Europe.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26
Doing Quite Well, Thank You.
Cincinnati Tribune

Mr.. Reed knew his business when he took
up the practice Of law in New York. AL
ready he is mixed up in a suit where mil
lions are involved and with clients like the
Rockefellers. A moderate retainer in case
like this means a salary three or four
times as great as the salary of speaker of
the house. Mr.. Reeds judgment Is all
RIGHT
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26


Once again it has been proved, on paper,
that man and his wife can live on $40 a
week. and have few comforts at that, but
as the theorists have again failed to say
where the man can get the $40 the theory
may still be regarded as having at least one
fault
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

Omaha bank clearings are on the in
rrease side of the table this week. IheS
ought to be there week in and week
out and would be if they reflected the
,mnroyed condition of Omaha's busi-
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26
Horse Play Mt limitations.
New yorl IJaroIJ


Another death has occurred through acci-
dent in the initiation ceremonies of secret
society. Children sometimes play with dan
gerous tools, but grown up men are sup
posed to have common sense. Here is les
son to be learned.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26
STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.

s,ste of Nebraska, Douglas County. S.:
George b. Tzschuck, secretary or Inc Dse
Publishing company, being duly swo,ms ra
says that the actual number OF hnrrinp Inrr nu
Evaning and Sunday Bee. printed during
~ ,r,nSth Of Sctobar. 1898, was as follows:
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

DdtlnOTe american.
The Emperor William has shown that he
is meek and sweet-tempered, notwithstand-
ing all that has been said about him. When
the prince of Wales kissed him on one cheek
he turned to him the other also
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

Total ................'..,'''''' :, ono
Less unsold and returned coples.." o'eoo
,o, .761 ,S57
Net .o.ai ~ - 24,570
wv GEORGE B. TZSCHUCk;
Subscribed and sworn before me titis A''
day OF November, A. D. 1893.
oas Va M. B. HUNGATE,
,soa,, Notary Public.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26
TERMS OF suRsCRIPTIoN

Omaha: The Bee Building.
South Omaha City Hall BUILDING
Twenty-ffth and n Streets.
Council Bluffs: 10 Pearl Street.
Chicago: 1910 Unity Building.
New York: Temple Court
Washington: sol Fourteenth Street.
CORRESPONDENCE.
Communications relating to news ana eui- %
torial matter should be addressed! omdha
Bee, Editorial Department
BUSINESS LETTERS,
Business letters and remittances snou.u ,r,
be addressed: The Bee Publishing Coih-
pany, Omaha.
REMITTANCES.
Remit by draft, express or postal ORDER
oayable to The Bee Publishing Company. /.
only 2-cent stamps accepted in payment M oa
mail accounts Personal checks, except oa o,'
Omaha or Eastern exchange, not az Nv
THE BEE PUBLISHING COMPAN1'
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26
Talent Tested to the Limit.
Royalty HObsOnixinr,

From all accounts Aguinaldo appears ia
have lost nearly everything except his speed
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

Somervlle Journal: The average farmer s
wife doesn't know how badly she is treated
in the matter of dress unless she subscribes
for a fashion magazine that shows her
monthly all the latest styles.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

Chicago Tribune: Anyhow" beloved
the husband, you can't say anybody drove
you to this marriage!"
"No!' shrieked the wife. "You persuaded
me to elope with you in an automobile"
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

Chicago Record: Are you sure you love
that girl?"
well. / can't work in the morning until
get letter from her and after l get 1t
can't work"
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

Chicago Post: What is there so re-
markable about herr"
"Why, she's woman who never kept
house in her life and yet she doesn't think
she could settle the servant girl problem" >"
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-26

New Orleans Times The Wife-I wonder
why little Ethel is so d.sobedient, John?
The Husband-I don't know, my dear, un-
less your marrying me against your par
ents' wishes has something to do with It.
Mesa free press., 1899-07-21
MISS KATE DRExEL.

black veil. it made stir throughout
the country. The name of Drexel for
years has been synonym for wealth.
That one of the daughters of the great
Philadelphia house would give herself
to the church seemed hardly credible
to those who had never met her and
who knew nothing of her family. She
took the step cheerfully, and so far as
known has always rejofced in her self
sacrifice. No one save herself and q
few officers of the church know the
whole extent of her benefaction or of
her sacrifices. OF late years little has
been written or heard Of her by the
world at large. No woman who de-
ponds upon her daily labor for food
and shelter has worked more arduous-
ly than she in carrying out the great
plan to which she has devoted her en-.
ergies and resources.
Mesa free press., 1899-07-21
Air Castles.

Living in the future is living in an
air castle. The man who says he will
lead newer and better life tomorrow,
who promises great things for the flu
tu.1s and does nothing in the present to
make that future possible, is living in
an air castle. In his arrogance he is at
tempting to turn water into wine, to
have harvest without seedtime. to have
an end without a beginning.
If we would make our lives grand
and noble, solid and impregnable, we
must forsake air castles of dreaming
for strongholds of doing. Let us think
little of the future except to determine
our course and to prepare for that fu-
ture by making each separate day the
best and truest that we can. Let us live
up to the fullness of our possibility
each day. Man has only one day of life
today. He did live yesterday, be may
live tomorrow. but he has only today.
Mesa free press., 1899-07-21

'Hunting wild marsh hogs is an ex-
citing but somewhat dangerous pastime
in southern Texas, said G. L. Fielder
of that state. SIN the swampy lands
along the gulf these wild hogs have
their habitat, and to hunt them it is
best to have several companions and
numerous dogs that understand the
ways of the ferocious porkers. The dog
will find the game for you. bay it and
hold it in check until you can take
shot or two. Then everything depends
on your aim. If you succeed in pierre
ing vital part with your Winchester
bullet. all is over except dragging the
carcass to some convenient point where
it can be handled.
"But dangerous is your position If
your aim is trif1e defective and your
shot only wounds the animal Some
good and true shooting must be done
instanter then by you and your COM
rades, or else an Infatuated boar will be
rending you with his tusks. have seen
more than one of these old bears shot
through the body 90 or more times and
in that condition fight man and dog
until several balls had been fired into
his head.
''In the marshes there is no possible
way of escaping an attacking wild hog
except by killing him. The hunter can
make no Roadway through the tall.
rank grass and boggy soil. and there
are no trees that offer him refuge. For
these reasons he is compelled to kill his
game when once it is flushed or become
himself victim. In the fall of the year
these marsh hogs are fat, and their flesh
is of a very pleasing flavor. Wash
ington Post
Mesa free press., 1899-07-21
poisor In the brood of the Eel.

1t has been known for years that the
blood of cells contains highly poison
Gus principle. A dog inoculated with a
dozen drops of cells blood dies in ten
minutes. This discovery was made about
ten years ago by two Italian brothers
name Mosso. The poison is readily de-
stroyed by heat and by mere lapse of
time, wherein it differs from snake
poison, which long retains its virulence.
Moreover, eel serum is harmless when
taken with food, it invariably succumbs
to the processes of digestion. If serum
be taken from an animal that has been
rendered immune to snake poison and
injected under the skin of an eel, the
poisonous property-of the cells blood is
thereby impaired. Serum taken from an
eel is naturally about three times as
poisonous as the serum of the most
vicious viper.
Although diluted eel serum may pro-
tect an animal from so deadly poison
as viper venom, the converse does not
hold good; the serum of vipers is no
protection against the poison of cells
serum. Serum obtained from animals
gradually trained up to withstand fatal
doses of serpent venom differs from or
binary serum in the astonishing rapidity
of its action. Not only it's protective,
but also it's undoubted curative power
has. been established. Good Words.
Mesa free press., 1899-07-21
Umbrella Diplomacy.

A man with an umbrella was walking
In the rain; an umbrellaless friend join
ed him and shared the protection. The
umbrella owner noticed that now he
was getting only half protection, as the
rain and the drippings from the umbrel-
la as we'll fell on one shoulder. Seeing
another friend without an umbrella he
invited him in out of the wet, saying,
'There is plenty of room for three"
By this new arrangement he now had
complete protection, as he had to move
the umbrella to the position he carried
it when he was using it alone, and a
friend on either side protected him from
the rain while receiving the drippings
from the umbrella.-WOman's Home
Companion.
Mesa free press., 1899-07-21
ADDERs FOND OF EGGS:
Little Reptiles With. Remarkable
Swallowing Ability.


Among lot of very interesting speci-
mems of prepared animals sent to the
Museum of Natural History at Paris by
Father Guilleme. missionary in the
upper Kongo country, there is one group
Of native adders, in the act of swallow
ing eggs, which excited uncommon in
terest The most remarkable part Of 1t
Is the relative size of this snake and it's
common food. This adder is rather
small; it is seldom longer than % inch
es, and it's thickness never exceeds an
inch. Yet it feeds regularly on duck
eggs, the smaller diameter of which is
almost two inches.
How. the snake can get such an egg
into its mouth is difficult to understand,
and the aspect of these reptiles while
swallowing the eggs is most strange.
The only way to account for this Pc
culiar manner of swallowing whole
eggs is the presence in the neck, just
back Of the head. of a series of pointed
bones slanted backward and piercing
the esophagus. These not only assist
to hold the egg in place, but act like
saw. When the egg has advanced far
enough. their pressure will cut the egg;
Its contents will continue into the stom-
ach, while the empty shell is crushed
afterward and thrown out through the
mouth.
While in the act of swallowing the
egg the snake is easily caught, for it is
then almost in a state of complete in
ertia: it then looks very much like the
bulb as used by photographers for open