The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1899-12-29
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Proud Father (survevlnv ri,
born)--"Don't you think be Ina,.. nes'
mef Jealous visltor-'Yes. noor Inv II.
tie thingw-Tit-Bits. p'O' NJ
Myrtle Cushion writes that 81. :,
now living surrounded bv snionas,
i suppose she's got new silk nett.
coat."-Chicago Record. pS's'
Hard to catch: First cItIzep.-arh.
Bilipinos are an inferior race g.
ond Cihzen-"That may be, but the,
can put up a superior race."-Puck
ITO our silent heroes" little WIN,
read from the memorial bronze: epon
per, what are silent heroes?5 "ytarrgsd
men," said popper.-IndianapolIs Jour.
nal.
Why they no longer speak: She fro.
mantically)-"What would you do II we
should meet in the hereafterYn II.
(earnestly)-"Td go through fire 70,
you."-Judy.
The amiable plutocrat-But riches do
not bring happiness. The unamiabe
pauper-But l amt looking fer happl.
ness. All want is comfort INDIAN.
apolis Journal.
Wheels: Il feel as If l had wheels IN
my head| groaned the man. tim
be the truck you ate for dinner" re.
joined his wife, innocently enough
Detroit Journal.
"a self-opening and closing umbrella
has been invented" That's no good;
what the world wants is an umbrella
that will find its way back home when
stolen. Detroit Free Press. g.,
Il wonder why it is" said links,
that most authors are snobsE ''Wen,'
said Binks, Il suppose it is because
royalties pay their expenses, and their
titles are copyrighted Bazaar.
Weary Watkins-Dusty, suppose you
was Dewey? Dusty Rhodes-I won't
do nothin' of the sort. I'm hungry, but
l amt a-goin to ruin my stummick by
thinkin' of the things he's got to eat
Bazaar.
"And this,' said the enthusiastic
traveller, as the train entered Boston,
sis Americas intellectual holy Of
holiesw "ShucksP' exclaimed the 9TH
er traveller; its only the ante-room. -
Chicago Tribune.
Hello, Smith; suppose a man marries
his first wife's step-sister's aunt, what
relation is he to her?v "First-wife-
um-step-au me see; l don't
know" Bright fellow-He's her hus-
band.-Exchange.
$50 you want to write war newsY''
said the enterprising exponent of emo
tional Journalism. Yes" said the
young man. DO you feel that you are
equipped for that kind of employ
mentT' Il do; I've got a map and an
imagination. "-Washington Star
Peacemaker-"I wouldn't fight, my
good men," First Combatant-"He
called me a thief. sir" Second Com.
batant-"An' he called me a lazy
loafer." Peacemaker-"We would
MT fight over difference of opinion;
you both may be right. Tit
Il must say" said the Filipino gem
eral, that we seem as far as ever from
a solution of this race problem Have
you a race problem?" Il should say so.
Even the army is thrown into constant
confusion by this wild desire of indiyid-
uals to come out first in every retreat'"
Washington Star.
Dobley-'I understand that young
Spendling.is being pushed for money"
Mrs. Dobley-"Why, l heard that he
was spending a gay summer at ATTAIN
tic CITY" Dobley-"Yes, that's IT, lie
takes a constitutional every morning
on the board walk in one OF those
wheel-chairs. "-Criterion.
Parent Qeft in charge)-"No, you can
not have any more cake" Very serl-
ouslv) DO you know what shall nave
70 do If you &c on making that dread
full noiseY" Little girl (sobbingl- les,
Parent-"Well, what is thatF Ll'ue
girl-"Giye me some more cake: 'Anu
She. was quite right)-Puneh.
Nissionary-"Was it liquor that
brought YOU to thisT Imprisoned
Burglar-"No, sir; it was house-cl .,,
in'-spring house-eleanin' SIR, Ms
s,onary-' h-house-cleaningf bu's
lar-"Yes. sir; the woman had Oeen
lbouse-cleanin' an the stair-earpet was
mn. an the folks heard me.'-ii'-oi's
-.be golf language, We'll, Mabel it.
how was the musicaleY "ferIect
foozlel Miss Virgins made DRIVE N., Il.
Nfozart. and sliced every bar. W u. -
left Jennie. Lathers was trying ~
.tvmie Helen Waterbury in duet S,
WAS it nearly overT' Yes rOn, s.,
dawson |" didn't come. so there were ere
three up and only two to play Oh 'l'
SroSram IN when I putt out''-BazaF'
pc semetb,pr to be considered: Pros.
no S Tourist mt boOking-otiiee OF
areat ocean liner)-"That stateIeom is IS
essr tbe, stern of the vessel Ism ~, ~ :
Agent-.Yes. sir" Prospective I9 our,
,st~.You ought not to charge me .G ~,
n 'us for it." Agent-''Why nor nor.
PTosneetive Tourist-"Beeause wi'e ti
the steamer comes to land III aaV CIV, ~
walk 6alf a mile to get nsh0re' ~ NJ
cago Tribune. .not the
Cninese PREMIER see - rev.
nroy,nee of Wing Wang yields no rev rev,
enne" chinese Secretary OF 1reasu l,,.
NNNN- -. ,ra very poor lNo