davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03
Ingersoll and Delaware.

''The late Colonel Ingersoll had but
little use for the state of Delaware
said Mr.. E. v. Turner of Wilmington.
s'His aversion had it's origin in
statement made by Chief Justice Jo-
seph P. Comegys, now deceased. Some
years ago Ingerson delivered in Will
mingtOn one of his most scratching lee
lures against Christianity. Its delivery
stirred up the preachers and the reli-
gious people mightily, and the chief
justice, who was man Of deep piety,
made a public statement that if the
great agnostic came there any more he
would arrest and try him for bias
phemy. The Justice also called the at
tention of the grand jury to the lee
lures.
"Ingersol was, of course, ready with
his retort when he heard of what the
jurist had said. He stigmatized Della
ware as a state that had but three
counties at low water and only one at
high tide; that it was inhabited chiefly
by oysters and CLANS, whose only rea-
son for not migrating was that they
had no legs. But, all the same, Colonel
Bob didn't come to our town to lee
ture again. Washington Post
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03

A tall, solemn looking young man
entered the restaurant with a mild.
apologize air and seated himself at
a vacant table near the middle Of the
room. 1t was evident that he dreaded
to intrude. He wanted to get as far
away from other people as posi-
BILE. He even blushed painfully when
he gave his order, and the most casual
observer could have told that he was
bashful.
Just as his dinner was brought to him
a buxom looking woman with seven
small children entered the place. The
head waiter swept the field with his
eye, pounced down upon the table
where the young man had sought soli-
tude, motioned to the mother, who
clucked to the chickens, and a mo-
ment later they were all around that
one table.
That young mans face was a serial
story
Other people entered the restaurant,
glanced at the group, smiled signifi-
cantly, and seated themselves.
''he doesn't look it, does he?" queried
a pleasant faced old lady in an audible
whisper.
"She looks at least ten years older
than be-" murmured girl at the
next table.
He few to the hatrack, tossed a half
crown to the waiter and tried to go
through the door without opening it,
London Telegraph.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03
A nride WIN Some Good Points,

Some years ago in an agricultural
district there lived farmer who want
ed to sell one of his cows. There was
not at that time a weekly paper in
which he could advertise, SO he resolved
to follow a local custom and ask the
vicar of the parish when giving out his
notices at church to advertise the COW.
Eyes. farmer" said the vicar, 81
should be willing to oblige you. but
you don't attend my church. y
Presently. however. they struck a
bargain that the vicar should advertise
the COW, and the man in return prom
Used to go to church.
Now, unfortunately the man was
deaf, and on the Sunday following when
the vicar gave out the banns of mar
rage between Joseph So-and-so, bach
elor, and Sarah So-and-so, spinster, the
farmer took it for granted that the
vicar was giving out particulars of his
COW and shouted out:
''You might as well say while you
are about it that she is q most gentle
creature and entirely free from vice. "
STRAY Stories
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03

Sir Joseph Prestwich had bought in
1864 small estate near Sevenoaks, on
which he built residence, but it was
high up on dry and treeless chalk
down. Where was water to be found?
80 confident was Prestwich in re-
spect of water supply that he at once
engaged an old well digger to sink a
well 1853 feet deep The boring pro-
ceeded, but when depth of 166 feet
was reached the two workmen went to
the city and sought an interview with
their employer, whom they found at
his desk They explained that there
was no sign of water and that in their
opinion it was useless to bore to a
greater depth. Go on, was the quiet
rejoinder, you will come upon water to-
morrow. You are within two feet of
it.
Next day it proved exactly as Prest-
witch had foretold. And ever after,
among many of the denizens Of the val
ley, he had the reputation, much to
his amusement, of not being quite
'canny' Life and Letters Of Sir Jo-
seph Prestwich.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03

Too many people are accustomed to
think of politeness in address as ap-
propriate in company. but quite out OF
place in business. An engaging man.
ner is useful everywhere.
This axiom is amusingly illustrated
by story which Justin Mccarthy
tells. Soon after the civil war, he
says, 1 happened to be standing on q
bridge in New York amusing myself
by studying the crowd when shrill
youthful voice accosted me with
"Cap'n, shine yer boots?"
The chance distribution of military
titles was ready and liberal at the time
when so many soldiers were returning
to civilian life, and 1 paid no attention
to the invitation.
Just then a rival bootblack passed
and, imagining where the cause of my
Indifference lay, he advanced, and
pushing past the unsuccessful claim.
ant. he gave me a military salute and
appealed to me with the captivating
words:
''Brigadier general, shine yer boots p
l had my boots shined on the spot.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03

Every time Russian minister leaves
town his colleagues are notified of the
journey, besides tile council of the en-
pire, the cabinet of the emperor, the
empires controleur and secretary, the
sacred synod, the emperors military
secretary, the empress, the governors
of Moscow. Varsovie, Kieff, ETC., ad
intinitum, to all appearance. When
he returns, the same minute notifica-
ton performance is gone through. So
each ministerial departure from and
return to st. Petersburg involves an
issue Of some 200 notices. There are
Is ministers, and taking three journeys
as the average for each, we have at
the end Of the year a grand total of
some 10000 official papers.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03
The Macavv and the Portratt.


While Northcote was studying paint
ing with Sir Joshua Reynolds he paint
ed the portrait Of one Of the housemaids
and placed the picture on the parlor
floor, resting against a chair for the
family to see it. Sir Joshua had large
macaw, which he often introduced into
his pictures. Between the bird and the
housemaid there was no little hostility,
as she had to clean up after him and re-
sented his roaming habits.
When the picture was placed against
the chair, the mscaw, being in a dis
tant part Of the room. did not see 1t,
but on 1etracing its steps the bird saw
the portrait of its enemy and, with out
stretched wings furiously rushed at the
hated face and even tried to bite it.
Discovering that the face did not
move. the macaw attacked the hand in
the picture. AS itmoved not, the bird
marched round the picture, as if exam
lining what the thing was, and then
walked away. Again and again the
macaw repeated the advance. the at
tack and the retreat
The singular story was noised abroad,
and Edmund Burke, DR.. johnson and
Goldsmith visited Sir Joshua s parlor to
see the exhibition What made it the
more remarkable was that when the
macaw was tried with any other por-
trait it took no notice Of the picture. =
Youths Companion.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03
Dangerous Trading.

Upon returning to camp we found
that John, the driver, had purchased a
load of pumpkins, which the native
men and women from the Mazoe val
ley had brought to the wagon to barter.
At first l was pleased, but when l
found that John had traded away
about 20 pounds of preservative, con-
sisting of alum and arsenic, which he
had mistaken for salt, l was filed
with dismay! We knew not the villages
whence the natives had come, nor
could we explain the mistake, as we
were ignorant of their language; and
before my scared mental vision rose
piles of dead Mashonas, pestilence and
war on the whites-provided there re-
manned enough live Mashonas to make
it.
Hence it was that before daylight
the next morning we left for the fort.
We made no mention of the matter to
any one, but a year later, when visit
ing the Mazoe valley, l inquired Of
the natives if there had been any dis
ease among them about the time when
the white men arrived in the country.
They said there had been an epidemic
of stomach aches, but, fortunately, no
one had died from it; so my conscience
was profoundly relieved.-"On the
South African Frontier"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03
ESTABLISHED 1879.
Eddie INIT stenIern.

There is a reason why the Adiron-
dack forest fires should become more
destructive each succeeding year. Most
of the timber there is spruce. While
spruce is used for various purposes it
it valued chiefly as material for the
manufacture of sounding boards for
all kinds of musical instruments.
That part of the spruce tree which
is free from branches, extending to
from 20 to 80 feet above background,
is known as fiddle butt. AS there are
no branches In that part Of the trunk
there are no knots, and when the lum-
Der is sawed it presents a smooth sur
face, an essential in the making of
sounding boards.
The stealing of eddie butts is carried
on as regular industry by hundreds
Of men who own small farms on the
outer edges of the forests. These men
go into the woods in winter and cut
down thousands of great spruce trees.
They take from each tree only the
base log, which they sell at the nearest
sawmill, allowing the remainder of the
tree to lie where it falls. The branch
es become dry as finder In time, and
when fire is started by a careless
hunter or woodsman they furnish an
abundance Of fuel for the spread of
the coniagration.
Many efforts have been made to pun
ish the fiddle butt stealers, but it is a
fact that no jury has ever been got to-
gether that would bring IN verdict Of
guilty. It is claimed, with much evil
dence Of truth. that jury has never
been selected in that section that did
not have a fiddle butt stealer among
its Observation-Disclosures Record.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03
Curds md Cheene.

The rough outlines of cheesemaking
are probably familiar to every one.
Fresh milk is taken and curdIed with
rennet The curd is then broken up
and the liquid whey drawn off; the
breaking up Of the curd, it's straining
and the subsection of it to pressure are
processes repeated several times until
eventually the curd has become Of the
necessary consistency and solidity. 1t
is then set aside, usually for some con-
siderable time, to ripen, and during
this time great changes are subtly TAX
ing place In it's substance, so that the
curd, which at first was an uneatable
solid, becomes gradually transformed
into palatable cheese.
Suitable external conditions, chief
among which is proper temperature,
are, of course, necessary to bring this
ripening of the curd to successful is
sue. but the real reason Of the trans
formation Is the presence of nlyriads
of bacteria, which find In the curd a
luxurious dwelling place, where they
can live and multiply. That in so Iiv-
ing they must abstract foodstuffs from
the curd around and give out in turn
new substances is merely the natural
course of their life, but it makes all
the difference between curd and
cheese-Good Words.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03
Politics.

Mr.. Ward Heel-Booze has, promised
me that if help nominate him he will
give me a job
Mrs. Ward Heels this man Booze
sure of getting it7
Mr. w. H-Not by any means Old
Slydog is running against Booze.
Mrs. w. H.-And if Slydog gets it,
Mr.. w. Hill be all right anyhow.
I'm under contract to help nominate
both of them on the.same terms. Ohio
State Journal
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03
sandy,s Explanation.

A Draw son of Scotia accepted an in
vitation to spend fortnight with a
friend in London, whose quarters were
in the dense purIieus of ClerkenwelL
On joining his host at breakfast the
morning after his arrival the following
colloquy took place, much to the an
noyance of the mistress of the house:
Host-Well, Sandy. old man. how did
you sleep2
Sandy-Aweel, mon, to say truth, ma
so vara weel.
Host-I am sorry to-
Sandy Gnterrupting) = All, dinna
fash yesself, mon! l was better aft
than the fieas, for they never closed
a blessed e'e the whole night"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03
wanted a Haunted Houue,

The following curious letter was re-
Gently received by house renting
agency in London:
"Have you reputed haunted house
on your books am not afraid Of
ghosts do not as a matter Of course
believe in their existence, and am
willing to live in house for long or
short term by arrangement Of course,
rent free. Should there be no ghost,
then, if you wish it, / shall be willing
to testify on oath to the fact. But
should see an apparition l will keep
the matter secret and only acquaint
you with the circumstances will
pledge myself not to pander to local
gossip. have a small income on which
I can subsist My sole object in thus
applying to you is to be allowed to live
in a place in which do not need to
pay any rent
The inquirer was informed that the
firm had no haunted houses on its list,
but would inform him when it had
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03
Beeoming n british subject.

1t is an easy thing TO become n Brit
ish subject. All that an alien has to do
is to declare his intention to reside
within the British dominions on leav-
ing his own country, and forthwith he
takes out his naturalization papers, is
sued to him by the secretary of state
upon his taking the oath of allegiance
These papers invest him with the
rights and privileges of Britisher, ex-
cept that he is barred from becoming
a privy councillor or member of par
Lament and also barred from accepting
Office under the crown But If an alien
be naturalized by special act of par
lament passed for his own benefit
then he becomes as much a British
subject and has all the rights and
privileges as though native.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03
Kate Fields Love Letter.

If that charming woman, the late
Kate Field, did not marry, it was as
suredly not because she did not have
many an admirer. A Washington lady
has in her possession a little old bit of
yellow paper upon which is penciled a
boyish scrawl. 1t was preserved by Miss
Field from her little girl days. The
scrawl runs thus:
won't yue mete me down bye The
Gate after school Yue move Luv
yue
On the other side of the bit of paper
is the address, thus
''Miss Kate Field, Esq. last Seat mex
to the Door goin out. T"
1t must have been like breath of
the forgotten perfume of yesteryears
when the clever. kindly woman hap
pened upon this little old piece of yell
lowed paper on rainy afternoon of
rummaging.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03
trapped by Its portratt.

If an old English writer be true in
his observations. the pheasant must be
a very simple bird, for he declares that
it puts its head in the ground and
thinks that all its body is then hidden
This is just what our old friend the os-
trich does in the African desert The
same author says that it was also cap
tured by another curious plan. A pic
ture of the bird was painted on cloth
and then placed in spot where it was
sure of being seen. By and by silly
pheasant coming along catches sight of
the portrait and gees up to have close
view of the new neighbor. While en-
gagged in inspecting the canvas the
fowler draws near from behind and
throws his net over the unwary art
student
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03
wash,nrton,s Sea veyare.

AS the companion of his invalid elder
brother, Lawrence. then in rapid con-
sumption. George Washington sailed
from Virginia on the 2sth of September,
1851, arrived at Barbados on or about
the Sd of November and sailed thence
on his return to Virginia ON board the
Industry on the 22d of December. His
passage each way was rough one and
prolonged to five weeks. The methodical
young Virginian kept diary during
his trip, extracts from which were pub
ished by Jared Sparks in his Writings
of George Washington. I" This was the
only time George Washington ever
went outside the territory that became
the United States Note the fact that
five weeks were occupied in making
this little trip to Barbados Buffalo
Commercial
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03
PENNSYLVA RAILROAD.
The Standard Railroad Of 1Ameyica. Pro.
tected throughout by Block Signals
and LuteyL0ckimg .SWitches.
IN EFFECT JUNE IS. 1899.

For Philadelphia. $50. 500. 65s, ITO, 7.4s
76i, $50, $40. ILL A. M, 1882. (l.l5. Mondays
oniy), 235, 4.55, Is, 6.1s. TIA. s.37, lO.5OP NJ
On sundays, s.O2 NJ, 100. els. 7.34, $50 I'M
5.43, d.l6, 729, P. N.
On sundays, BIG, 1925 A. M, 7.00P.M.
For B0rdentown, Trenton and New York, 62S
749 9.ls, lo.I5, ll.05. A. M, 1890. 800, 340 447
1858. 7.26 P. M.
on Sundays. s.25 A. M. 2.o5. Z05P.M.
For East Burlington, 8.2s, TBS, 7.49, So, $3.50
s.ls 1918. ll.o5 A. NJ, 1890, dis Saturdays
only, 800, $40, AL $40. 5.5S. 6.2s. 7.26. s45
On Sundays 725, $50, s25 A. NJ, 1900, 2o5, $50
sl5, s.4l, 40. 500. 5.s5. $40. zO5. 7.s6, $50
FOR Lewistown. Columbus. Kinkora. etc.,
7.04 A. M, 2.09. 440 P. M.
On Sundays, 100 P. NJ.
For LumDerton, Medford, Marlton and Had.
dOnfield. 9.35 A. N.
For vincentown, 1876, 6 l6 IN.
For Toms River. s.26, s.5l A. NJ, 200. 40, 64s
Pm.
For Sea Side Park q Point Pleasant s.5l, A. NJ
For Tuckerton, Beach Haven ana Barnegat
City, 9.5l A. M, 4.40P.M
For Asbury Park and Long Branch, 9.5l, A. n,
For Toms River, Sea SIDE Park, Sea Girt, sun.
day S.l6A AN.
Ttr ins Leave for Mount Holly as JoIlows.
From Philadelphia, 500, 6.35, $50, $40, 1000,
H;s0 A. H., 1910, 4 30. Saturdays only, $40,
400, 4.30, 600 520,6l TO- $50. $780, $780, IL As M
On sundays, 730, $40 A. M, LOO. 800, l0.30P. M.
from New York. iaTrenton and Burlington,
300, $50, llO0 A. NJ, LOO. 2.l5. AGO. 800. 500
Pm.
On Sundays. 1000 A. M, 7O0P.x
From Trenton, 6.45, TAO. $780, IL 10 A. NJ, 2.55,
3.47, Az, 5. 20, 100, 9.55 p. NJ.
On Sundays, ll.50, A. M, 4.05, 9.0S, Pm.
From East Burlington. 100. 7.53, $685. S.4S, 9-2S.
1913. 1915. llN A; M. LOB, Cos Saturdays
only. $3.50. 4.l6. GIG. 5.5s, $50. 7oo 100, $50.
On Sundays, 755, 800, 1890. A. NJ, 1880. 2.s5,
so5 3d. 4s0. 4.55. $50, $40, 100, $780, 800, s.55.
l000P.M.
From Toms River. sS4. 1853 A. NJ. 1925. s.4s,
On Sundays. 6.2S P. NJ.
From Aspury Park. $40. lib A. M. 223 SIS
p
From Medford. Il.b5 AN.
FROM Long Branch, 623, 1855 A. M, 2.05 500,
6.33 P. N. Sundays, 500 P. N.
From Pemberton, lnorthl 1.3s, .122, 7.29, s.s4.
S.55, HOO A. NJ. 1881, lO0 4l0, 4.23, 822 p M.
On Sundays, 72s A. NJ, so 0, 7.00P. M.
From Pembert0n tsouth), 1888 A. M, ABA P. NJ.
On Sundays, 7l4P. M.
from vincentown. $50 A. M. 142P. NJ.
from Sea Girt Sunday, Az P. N.
Medford, Marlton and Philadelphia.
Leave Medford for Philadelphia at 625, 1912
A. NJ, 2l3, 5.24, Pm.
On Sundays, 6.l5 A. n, $40 p M.
Leave Marion for Philadelphia at 6.39, 1925
A. NJ, 235, 5.35, P. n.
Leave Philadelphia, Market Street, for Med
ford and Marion at 6.55, 1880, A. NJ, $50. $780,
Pm.
On Sundays, 900 A. NJ. 6.4OP.M.
Leave Marion tor Medford, 8.07, 1l.SS A. NJ,
4.l2, $50, P. NJ
On Sundays, 9.52, A. NJ, 7.3l p. II.
For further particulars apply to the ticket
agent at the station.
J. B. HUTCHINSON, j. r. wooD,
General Manager. Gen. Pass Agent.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03
A victim Of Overconfidence.

-This bill isn't what l had right to
expect" grumbled the man who had
stepped up to the cashiers window at
the gas company's office.
1.-TWO dollars, heyY said the cashier,
glancing at the bill. THAT doesn't
seem SO very exorbitant What was it
the month beforeT
-Four dollars"
you didn't kick on that, did your"
s'No."
"Why is this so much smallerY
THE house was shut I'D half the
month"
"Then what are you complaining
about? Isn't 50 about right?
Eyes; but, blame it, l made bet Of
S. the other day that the bill would be
as big as lv-Chicago Tribune.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03
ALittle Mistake.

Some time ago a well known and
popular Congregational minister re-
ceived basket of champagne from one
of his worldly and wealthy parishion-
ers. A few days later the minister's
little. son was called up in his geog-
raphy class to answer the teachers
question, Where is Lake Champaign
II don't know where it is" said the
small boy, "but I've had some Of the
water, and it is real nice. Boston
Herald
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03
ERrly Clocks.

Many clocks with weights and wheels
were in use in England during Chau
GERS time, and most Of the monasteries
Of the fourteenth century possessed
clocks, though these were used to show
the astronomical movements. as well as
the passage of hours Throughout the
fifteenth century clocks were made
mostly by armorers and blacksmiths as
they were constructed of iron ana steel.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03

The Pittsburg Times is responsible
for this tale of black snakes who loved
music not wisely but too well. One Of
the ophidians became 80 proficient in
musical knowledge that he crawled into
a church with number Of companions,
wiggled up on the organ bench, pushed
up the lid with their aid. grasped with
his tail the lever that started the water
motor and proceeded to play the organ
with his head, varying the performance
by crawling over the keys. He scared
the choir nearly into fits one Sunday by
entering during service time.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03

A mother, indignant to find her lit
tie son very low in his class at school
exclaimed wrathfully:
II am out Of all patience with you,
Jackl should just like to know why
George Jones is always at the head Of
his class while you are always at the
footP'
Jack hesitated for a moment, and
then, looking his mother squarefy in
the face, he said innocently:
"You forget that Jones has very
clever parents Tit Bits.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03
Horseback Riding.

Horseback riding possesses, according
to some physicians. the faculty of both
increasing and reducing weight If
meals are taken Immediately after rid
ing, additional flesh ia gained. other
wise decrease Of flesh results.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03

''What made you break off the argu-
ment so suddenly"
Didn't you hear what he said?' ask
I'd the cautious citizen.
Yes. When you left, he had just
said, Let us talk this over calmly and
reasonably.
That's why I went. Whenever a
man says Let us talk it over calmly
and reasonably you may depend on
his being so angry 1t won't take more
than three words to make him fight"
Washington Star.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03

There is nothing" says Seneca,
however difficult or arduous. which
the human mind cannot conquer and
Rssiduous meditation render familiar.
Whatever the soul demands Of itself it
obtains.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-10-03

"Your experience in vaudeville, then,
was not very pleasant Hi Tragerdy
was saying.
''No," replied Lowe Comerdy; sal
Oshkosh they threw rocks at each one
of us as we came on for our acts.
pretty severe way of showing their
disapproval "
Eyes; in their efforts to impress us
with their utter disgust they left nc
turn unstoned. Catholic Standard
and Times.