Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-01-09
THE BoWSERS' TROUBLES
Spartan Courage and FortItude rs Exom
pllfied by the Head OF the Family.


When Mr.. Bowser came home the
other evening and found his wife lying
on the lounge with a bandage around
her head, he was sorry for her, Of
course-Just as sorry as the average
husband. And, like the average hus-
band. he stood and glared at her for
moment and then blurted out:
well, I've been looking for it every
day for year past, and it's here at
last! Finally got yourself fiat down,
eh?"
lts nothing she family replied.
on! it isn't? Nothing for wife to
flop down and upset the whole house, /
suppose! Well, I've been looking for
some sort of racket, SO I'm not sur
prised. Mrs. Bowser, it's a wonder to
me that you or any other woman in
this town is out of her coffin!"
Its only-only headache, dear"
Yes, only headache, but what do
headaches lead to? If you are not
dead woman before Saturday night you
may consider yourself lucky. Didn't |
warn you not to sit in draught-not
to wear thin shoes-not to eat too much
truck? Little good it does to talk to
woman. Shed go her own way if she
knew that it must end in a broken
neck. If men were as reckless as your
sex the country would go to the dogs"
"One can't help feeling bad OCCASION
ally" she replied as she got up to wet
the bandage around her head.
"Oh, they can't, eh? Mrs Bowser,
look at me! When am l ever ailing?
When do you hear me complain? New
er! And why is it? Because, Madame
because / don't cram my stomach with
watermelon, buttermilk, gumdrops,
custard pie, sweet cake, ginger ale and
all that. Because l don't go around
with my feet sopping wet. Because I
know enough to come in when it rains.
Because | exercise a little common
sense in taking care of myself"
81 think I'll be better by morning"
she replied.
Il hope SO, and l hope this will be a
lesson to you for the future. tell you
that no woman can slosh around the
way most of you do and live out half
her days. How many cocoanuts and
green apples and bananas did you eat
to-day?"
Don't be foolish, Mr.. Bowser!"
But forty-eight hours later the ta-
bles were turned. Mr.. Bowser came
scufiing along home with his shoulders
bumped up and his face the color of
flour, and it was plain to see that some
thing had happened.
Whats the matter?" asked Mrs.
Bowser as soon as he stepped into the
hall.
Got a sore throat and l feel feverish.
II think | am going to be sick!"
Everything about the house was or
dered to go on tiptoe, and even the cat
was put out and the clock stopped. AZ
ter his throat had been tied up, his
shoes taken off and quilt thrown over
him, Mr.. Bowser plaintively inquired:
Don't you think you'd better send
for a doctor?"
Not just yet, dear don't think is
serious
"Ah! how l suffer-how I suffer!"
he groaned you may be widow be-
fore the week is out. | hope you will
always be kind to our child. l have
tried to be a good husband and
and"
Mrs. Bowser laid her hand on his
forehead and the tears came to his eyes
sobbed like BOBBY. She sat down and
held his hands until he finally fell
asleep, and though she might have
charged him with doing a score Of i'm
prudent things to bring on his illness
she didn't mention a single one. After
a couple of hours he woke up feeling
better, but he wanted tea, toast and
jelly, and sympathy, and was as petu-
liant as baby until put to bed. He was
a new man, however, when he woke up
next morning, and when she asked af-
ter his throat, he replied:
"Throat-hump. Mrs. Bowser, for
about five hours yesterday l was hover
ing between life and death. Had it been
you, you would have died ten times
over, but grit pulled me through"
"Grit?" she Queried.
Yes, grit - sand - pluck - Spartan
courage and fortitude. l let none of
you know how badly l actually was,
but just shut my teeth and determined
to live, and here is the result of it. All!
Mrs. Bowser, if you only had the hun
dredth part of my courage and will
power you'd be far different woman
from what you are nova far different
woman!"