The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-09-17
THE BANKER WATCHED ROSIE o'eRADY.

ing the midmorning hours you may
have seen the king a hundred times as
he stalked down town to nurse his royal
sinecure. He is a thickset man of 30,
immediately groomed from the gloss
Of his hat TO the gloss of his boots. He
has close cropped, sJeel-gray hair,
small, hard. steel-gray eyes, and a
square, Clean-shaVen face, so infleXible
in expression it might have been forged
from the same metal. His bearing and
walk are infused with equal rightly,
and his voice resembles the clang of a
hammer upon a section OF armor plate.
He. would make an imposing hgurehead
for a first-eJass battleship.
Every morning the king stalks south
ward figure erect and eyes front. If
he doesn't know you. he doesn't see
you; if he does. you may or may not
receive q. steely nod, according TO his
royal mood. You must bow and scrape,
in any case. He expects and receives II
all the way down the street; then the
doorkeeper scrapes. the booUbsack
scTapes, the elevator boy scrapes,> and
the entire court Eises up and makes
profound oheisance. The day over, sa-
iaams are repeated, and he stalks
northwar6 10 his great, handsome, lone
~ bachelor apartments, and spends his
evening-heaVen knows howl Certainly
not at concerts. He hated music of
every kind save the harsh jangle and
roar Of down town traffic. He might
have replaced the pipe and bowl of that
other monarch. by a drink and q cigar;
the folders three he would certainly
have straugled.
Which brings me to a certain morn
ing when he stall1ed stiffly. southwark,
with an ugly look in his eye and stran-
gulation in his thoughts. And he didn't
allow anyone to divert his attention
from ii, either. The doorkeeper, the
boon black and the elevator boy bowed
and scraped IN vain; and the entire
court rose up and saladmeu to utter
vacancy. He ascended his throne,
pressed a button and stared his calen-
Oar out Of countenance until the I'M
perial stenographer arrived, when ne
sunk lower in his seat, thrust his fists
deep in mis- pockets. scOwled ferociousdy
at the toe OF his boot and dictated as
follows:
Editor of the New York -:
.Sir-While heartily applauding the
complaints published in your columns
from time to time against petty nui-
sances. ! regret that the most abomin
able outrage pracuced upon New York
ers has so far escaped censure. I al
lude TO the Matchmaking practices of
those Italian vagabonds who, until the
necessary bride is eXtorted, grind out
their ear-splitting discords beneath
their victims windows. l am NOT an in
valid nor a crank; on the contrary,
normal and gOod-tempered-" (Here the
imperial stsnographer felt his eye
turned on her. and moved not mus
cle) But. sir, could the inventor of
the piano organ be found today, /
should unhesitatingly say strange
him. and as for these mendicants and
their equally criminal supporters, moth
ing short Of slow torture would do them
Justice. / was racked all last evening
by one of these hideous instruments.
and the neighbOrhood of my Office is
positively haunted by a certain rascal
" Italian backmailer. who renders
work absolutely impossible by the repe-
tftion Of maudIin ballads. / allude es-