The Portland daily press., 1899-03-03
GAVE HIn ADVICE.
And, AZ Usual Was Not Thsnked
For IL.

Yet, Despite the Personal Remarks
of the Adviser, the other Decided
II Was More Polite to Keep His
Temper Under Control.
"If you don't mind my mentioning II, !"
remarked the cheerful passenger who was
holding on to strap as he leaned down
10 speak to a young man comfortably
seated near the car stove, you have a
very remarkable mustache."
"HeyS What's thatY" growled the young
man, looking up at him sidewise.
II say you have a remarkably peculiar
mustache
Just let Ii alone, will yous''
Eyes III let IL alone. I'm not q bar
Der. you know. Still there can't be any
harm in telling a man when he's got a
mustache like yours that It's something
worth looking at. You'll pardon me for
calling your attention to tie fact that 1t
grows straight out from your lip for about
an inch, at right angle, and then most
Of the hairs turn directly up, while the
others turn directly down. That shows
it's natural. 1t couldn't be waxed so as
to stand out that way. It's like the long
arm of the letter F. A man couldn't train
1t in that shape in million years. don t
suppose now you ever took two looking
glasses and stood SO as to get side view
of that mustache, did your"
None Of your business angrily re-
sponded the young man. "I'll thank you
to attend to your own affairs, II you have
any, and let mine alone"
"Just So" plscidly replied the other.
"Some people like TO have their peculiari-
ties pointed out to them, and some don't.
It's all in the way you look at It, You
are not asking my advice, Of course, but II
were In you place l should trim that
thicket, that chsparral, that cheval de-
frise, as we would say In French, close to
the lip, and then it wouldn't attract gen
eral attention. Most men, l dare say,
look better with q mustache, but that $
probably because It hides their mouths.
In your case, now, 1t doesn't hide the
mouth at all 1t runs right away from 1t.
It's out Of the question to-
Say, II you don't want to get your head
punched, you shut upl You've got more
blamed gall than any man l ever saw.
Mind your own bxstEessp
Certainly, certainly. That's all the
thanks a man ever gets for trying to be
an altruist in his own way. remember
once called fellows attention to a wig
be was wearing. l told him 1t was all
right, considered a. . wig, but he needn t
think it fooled anybody. 1t was SO pal
pably wig that 1t gave itself away as
soon as you looked at 1t. could see that
he thought 1t was perfect imitation Of
the natural hair, but it wasn't, and some
body ought to tell him it wasn't. That
was the position took. He got angry,
Just as you're doing, but l didn't mind
that. I'm always getting people down on
me when I'm trying TO do them favor,
Just in that way and suppose I always
will be. don't let 1t bother me as much
as used to. Still, young man, l would
advise you not to go punching heads, you
know.
why not, STRIP demanded the owner of
the bristling mustache belligerently.
what would you doY"
Notwithstanding. But some of these
women who are standing up might slip
into your seat.
Then the man who was trying to bene-
flt his fellow man Strengthened up, grasp
ed the strap more firmly. and during the
remainder of the ride said nothing, and
merely looked pleasant at the young
man, or rather through him, without see-
Ing him-Chioago Tribune.