Delaware gazette and state journal., 1899-11-02
EVENING .EcBoEs

es, i see you look sick. What
the matterY' i ate too much nf II.
health food. "--Chicago Tribuno WI
Stern Parent Ito young applio,,
for his daughters hand )-Youno M. ,.a
can you support family? Young NJ
lmeekly)-I only wanted Sarah sir IL
lid Bits. ."
Stranger-Why did they lyucb tb1
many Lop-eared Lem-1'hey ketcho
him stealth the plug out of the mot,
OF knockkneed Kits hossless kerridga
Chicago Times Herald.
Williamson - DR.. Squills seems
take life easy here of late. Hendorsa
i should say he does. Three of II
patients died last oek.-Ohio Sta,
Journal. ''''
How much is James new husbarI
worthP Oh, suppose she could realig
50. 600 for him il she could aet bi
Killed by the cars. --IndianapoliI
But, sir, what has your candidatI
ever done 10 deserve the support of tb
people? Well, for one thing, this
the firstatime he has ever run for otiic,I
indianapolis Journal.
Jones is an ardent expansionist, ISM
he? Yes, indeed Jones would be
favor of annexing the rest Of the worldH
only then there would be no foreianer
to regard with disdain. Puck.
Yes, that's Guggenthrop. lie mad
a fortune once by inventing roa
scraper. J" What did he do with hi
money!" He sunk it in a sk{
scraper. "-Chieago Tribune. /
"That was crazy thing for thos
three. wise men of Gotham to 90 TO Sc
in a bowl" "Oh, / don't know. NIL
were wise enough to want to get out d
Gotham. Boston Transcript.
How is the earth divided? asked IN
confident teacher of his class beforJ
the examiners. BY earthquakes, sirI
was the prompt answer from one Of ,hl
most eager of pupils. lid Bits.
Bobby, you must go to bed now
But, ma, it isn't time. Yes, il is I
your Uncle Robert and your father ar
going to tell what bad boys they used
to be at school. Chicago Record.
A man must be creature of irorI
will, said Mr.. Blykins, loudly. Eyes,
answered his wife, and a womati
ought to know o thing or two about
blaoksmithing. Washington Star
What an embarrassed conversation
you and that other woman seemed N
be having. Goodness, yes: | had forl
gotten her name, and l think she had
forgotten mine. Detroit Free Press
Ma, said the young fly, lis it tru@
that some folks are so gentle that thej
wouldn't harm a fy?" II wouldn't
trust the best of them, my dear. Don
buzz around any of them too long ~
Puck.
Customer-You are q waiter, aren
YOU? Waiter--Yes, sir. Customer
Well aren't you afraid YOU will losd
your job? I've been waiting herd
longer than YOU have. New YorI|
World.
"Did You hear the music, Ediths'I
"Oh, yes. ''Can you tell me how
it sounded?" "It sounded-it sounded
like an ice cream soda tastes, mammal
Just after one has been to funeral."-
Judge.
Bride Throwing her arms about thd
brideeroom's neck k)-Your are mJ
prisoner for life. Bridegroom It'd
not imprisonment for life, love it'd
capital punishment. Sydney Tow1
and Country journal.
Long bearded Party (examinind
specimens tackled ON walll-What fua
kind of beast is this? Museum
Attendant--That is an OCTOPUS. sir.
Long bearded Party That littd
thiDg?-Chicago Tribune.
Jones-I actually believe, my dear
that you think more of my dog than
you do of me. Mrs. Jones-I'd like I'd
know why you think so. Jones Well,
you never allow him to cat anything
you cook. = Chicago News.
Mrs. Flynn-Is Alderman Clanc, d
friend of your family? Mrs. Grogan-
He is not. Befoor election he promised
to git me boy Patsy government job
and after election he directed me boy
to recruiting Office. Judge
She--Where arc you going to spend
the summer Helm not going I'd
spend it at all. I'm going to save il
till next winter and see If | can't get
the janitor of the fat to use it in the
rooms occupy. Detroit Free Press.
is cannihalism common among
your" inquired tho stranger, appreheli.
sively. Common?'' said the Pacific
island belle as she coyly dug her toes
into the sand. Not at all. We con,
slider it very recherche. - = Boston
journal.
Weary Watkins--But wouldn't you
like to see prosperity comm on so
strong that every worlin' man would
have a full dinner pail? Hungry Hig-
gins What's the use? He'd take il in
and set it sommers where / couldn't git
at it. Indianapolis Journal.
1t appears that Charlie asked her
to marry him. +" "Yes?" "And she
hesitated before she said yes Then
Charlie said; Take little time to
think it over. " .'Well?" "And
Charlie has nevsr said anything more
about it, "--Cleyeland Plain Dealer.
Flossy--I don't caro-, l think Jacl;
Townley is real mean! Annette Why,
Elossy? Flossy-He wrote to me from
Florida, saying he had shot an alliga'
tor seven feet long, and said when he
shot another he would have, pair Of
slippers made for me. Harlem Life.
Cassidy Whom Dick Croaker was
over in England he done all he cud to
increase the good feeling thot England
has for Amerikay. Costigan--H How soS
Cassidy-Whoy, he hasn't had horse
win yet, and has lost five Thousand
pounds. Judge.
whats thisn' exclaimed the Fiji
pino commander; Captain WoKwoli
reported as woundedr 70 "Yos, gen
eral. u why, no hasn't been within
gunshot OF the enemy for days. "No,
general; but he got rightful stone
nruise IN yesterdays retreat. Wash
ington Star.
Il beg yo' pawdon, suh," setting
down his glass after the ceremony,
but did undahstand yo' to say this