davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Portland daily press., 1899-03-02
THE READY REASONING BOY.
Some Sweet Samples of the Satisfaction
He Gives.

NO Oistss
Hc was in his mothers room the other
day when she was showing friend some
handsome napery that her own maternal
relative had given her on her marriage.
He was impressed by the conversation and
laid 1t by for future reference. That even
ing there were guests at dinner, and for a
long while he was deeply interested in "a
study of his own domestic economy, with
special reference to whether turkey was a
good single standard for the human circu-
lation, and concluding that 1t was en-
deayored to get q monopoly. Later on he
began to regard the festive board with an
interest that was not strictly dietary, and
finally electrified the company by the in
quiry:
Mamma, is this the tablecloth you
were married IMP"
Grandpa came to call not long ago, and
papa had him up In the smoking room,
discussing the subject of masculine head
gear.
Run down stairs, son, and get my
new derby It's hanging in the hall, -
said papa.
The messenger was some time away,
and when he returned with the hat he wa.
carrying 1t ON the end Of a cane.
Inc owner TOOK III on anu peSun 10 OK
patiate on its beauties
"Now, here is a latest shape, and ] got
it for song. You ought to wear derby
father. It's more comfortable than boa
yer and more stylish.
The old gentleman secretly resentet
these remarks, but said nothing. I'll,
younger gentleman placed the model shap
on chair and forgot all about it. he,
minutes later he calmly sat on that stylis
hat and remodeled it SO that its make
would have denied 1t.
Grandpa was tickled almost to death
Best have a beaver, after all, my boy
he said. "a beavers so big you are prott.
safe not TO sit down on 1t. "
When grandpa went to the hatrack Il.
get tho immaculate beaver, he was smitte,
with horror. A catastrophe of some kim
had occurred, and it was evident that tn
hat had been involved. A committee
investigation at once interviewed the SINAI
boy. He explained matters with charm
ing candor. why, you see, papa, " said
he, ct had to stand on grandpa's hat tc
reach yours; it hung SO high up. Wash
;potOn Post
The Portland daily press., 1899-03-02
Our Philippine roes.

A Kansas soldier in the Philippines,
writing home some time ago, spoke thus
OF Aguinaldo's cabinet: MANY of them
arc ignorant and greatly in need of etuca-
tional ability, most of them are honest,
some are rascals of the worst type, and all
need to learn something Of the art and
science of war. If they are ever engaged
in Il deadly conflict, they viii be found
wanting In the commonest class of mill
AIRY movements and will have their fol-
lowers slaughtered like sheep in butcher
oen All they know about war is what
they have learned in resisting the Span
lsh, and that was nothing more than n
guerrilla warfare Of the poorest sort. To
come out and meet foe on an open bat
tlefield would be new experience for
them, and they are not inclined to face
that kind Of music
The Portland daily press., 1899-03-02
Moody Coaxed Them to stay.

"The Chicago Avenue church Of Chi
cago," says correspondent, rs common
ly known rs Moody's church Some few
years ago it's officials were accustomed to
distribute cards on the streets earnestly
urging people TO come to the Sunday serv-
ices even If they could stay only ten min
utes
Crowds accepted these invitations and
often staid only ten minutes, SO that there
was a constant coming and going, espe-
cially at the evening service, much to the
annoyance Of the speakers and the discom-
fort Of the regular worshipers. Even
Mr.. Moody's attractiveness did not break
up the bad habit OF the disturbers At
length he determined on heroic measures
Coming forward to tho edge of the pulpit
platform one Sunday evening, little be-
fore he was to begin his sermon. he took
tho audience into his confidence in this
way:
My friends, we all know that bellboys
and cha,nbermaids who work in second
and third GLASS hotels have TO be up very
early in the morning, and they are there
fore obliged to go TO bed in good season
So you viii excuse them If they leave the
church before the service closes, but If any
of them are Obliged to go tonight will they
please Just go while we sing tho next
hymn, and then they won't disturb the
sermon!
1T is needless to say that there were ap-
parently no bellboys or chambermaids in
the congregation that night nor ever after
And the unfortunate invitations were
withdrawn "
The Portland daily press., 1899-03-02
MONKEYS PICKING COTTON.



In 1896, at the vioksburg fair, Professor
Tracy and W. W. Msngum, the latter n
wealthy cotton planter Of Smedes, that
state, were watching some trained mon
Keys perform their various tricks Pro-
lessor Tracy suggested that there was no
reason why the monkey should not BIO en-
ployed In picking cotton and supersede the
negro In that work The plan was dis
cussed, and Mr.. Mangum bought in New
York city dozen monkeys In 1897 and,
with a trainer, put them to work. Tho
monkeys belonged to the race known to
scientists as Sphagtalis vulgaris, and the
males weigh about / 10 pounds and the fe-
males about 90 pounds each. Bags were
made for each monkey which would hold
about 20 pounds of seed cotton and bag
placed over the shoulder Of each
1t IA surprising how rapidly the trainer
taught tho monkeys to pick the cotton.
Baskets to hold the cotton were placed at
the end of tho rows, and one man, over
and above the trainer, was necessary to
take the cotton out of the sacks and put it
In the baskets. The females proved much
better pickers than the males, for they not
only picked cleaner cotton, but they would
also pick more Of 1t In day. In less than
month after the monkeys were started
at the work they could pick on an average
$50 pounds day. The first experiment.
although on a small scale, proved to Mr.
Mangum that monkeys could be used with
great success as cotton pickers, so in,June
of 1898 he gave an order for 300 monkeys
OF the same breed to an exporter of mon
keys from Africa, with the understanding
that most OF them were TO be females
About Sept l last the new batch Of
monkeys arrived and the services of the
old trainer were engaged to train this new
lot. But this was not such an easy mat
ter as was at first thought, for many Of
the new monkeys were still wild. But
the trainer thoroughly understood his
business, having served for long time
under Barnum as a trainer OF monkeys
Finally, with the aid of ten old monkeys
who were of great assistance and great
deal of punishment and rewarding the
new gang were pretty well trained by the
middle OF October Mr. Mangum is great
ly pleased with the result of his expert
ment. Speaking of 1t recently. he said;
II consider the day that Professor Tracy
suggested to me the training of monkeys
as cotton plckers as the most fortunate
day the south has seen In many years Ii
means more to the south than a cotton
picking machine, for the monkeys are a
success as pickers, while the machines
have been failures. l believe that it is
the greatest discovery that has been made
to tho cotton planter since Whitney in
vented the cotton gin. People laughed at
me at first when tried this thing, as they
always do when man tries anything new,
but now that it has proved u success all
my neighbors are wild about 1t. "-Jeffer-
son City Tribune
The Portland daily press., 1899-03-02
woman's Trick to Draw a Pension.

1t was briefly recounted in the kilograms
the other day that Mrs. Harriette d.
Mealer, a wealthy and prominent woman
of Rush county. had been arrested on the
charge of defrauding the pension depart
mcnt A most singular story is revealed
in this affair. Mrs Mealer came to Rush
county about is years ago with a family
Of grown up children. She had been a
widow ever since the close of the civil war,
her husband having been killed in battle,
She at once took a prominent place in the
best society and was regarded as leader
in church affairs
Commencing about two years ago, she
would go to Missouri for weeks at time,
and 1t was tho supposition of her friends
that she was visiting kinsfolk But in
some manner the United States authorities
got an intimation that something was
wrong, and they placed IA detective on the
track of the woman with the result of
finding that she was married to "a Missouri
man and that Der visits were to him in
stead of to other kinsfolk.
When arrested at Lacrosse by Deputy
Marshal Trigg, she had just returned from
a six weeks stay with her husband Her
own children were shocked and astounded
when they found that their mother had
married again. and it il needless to say
that Rush county regards the affair as
great sensation. Mrs. Mealer's crime con-
sists In having drawn a pension after she
had married again. Kansas City Journal.
The Portland daily press., 1899-03-02
Standing Up For n Principle.

Chow much does IL cost to send letter
from here to San Francisco?" asked a tall,
angular woman with a masculine voice
and somewhat hairy chin as she stepped
up to one OF the stamp windows at the
postoffice.
1.-TWO cents, ma'am."
"And how much to send a letter to
Bethany, Mizzourya"
1.-TWO cents"
81 won't pay it"
Every well, ma'am."
81 didn't suppose you'd throw of any.
thing on account of the shorter distance,
but thought I'd ask you, anyhow. When
you carry a letter 10 San Francisco for
cents, you ought to carry four TO Bethany
for cent. It's shame. / don't have
to send my letter through this postoffice,
and won't. There's a neighbor of mine
going to Bethany next week. and she'll
take ii for me and be glad to do it.
don't care for the Q cents, mind you, but
I'm not going to be swindled. I've been
reading up on these things, and I'm
That's all right, ma am, but I'm very
much occupied, and
"You amt occupied any harder than
am, young man, but I've got time to tell
you that this government cheat and a
swindie and It's founded on wrong princi.
pies and I'm agin it from the word &C
and it's never going to get any money out
Of me when can help it, and generally
can. You dom get any cents out Of me
for taking . letter to Mizzoury. Under
standf"
With took or lofty scorn she turned
away from the stamp window and went
out of the Office. chicago Tribune.
The Portland daily press., 1899-03-02
STRANGE STORY oFAMsTEoR.
IL Was Manufactured by q Desperate
Editor and Il Now Regarded - Truth.

Speaking Of shooting stars" said an
old reporter "if you will turn to any
encyclopedia Of the great aerolites that
have bumped into the earth you'll find an
entry something like this: Huge meteor.
10 stone, weigh approximately ton, fell
near Fort Stanton, Tex, 1884, I happen
to know som sthing about that meteor
myself. II didn't land In exactly the
vicinity Of Fort Stanton, but fell one hot
| night In July at about II p. m. in .
little newspaper Office not 200 miles from
the Rio Grande. The phenomena CO.
CURED In this way. News WAS dull that
night, the foreman was bowling for copy,
and the city editor, who was also the local
staff reporter, bull fight historian, aud
other things. was Of on his regular semi
monthly jag. The night editor, who
comprised the balance Of the staff. was a
truthful man normally, but Circumstance
es aud jags over which he had no control
had rendered him desperate, so when the
foreman bawled 'oopyi' TOR the 'steen
hundredth and sixth time, he grabbed
pad Of paper, and the meteor, which
afterward became SO celebrated, began
falling at the velocity of about page
every four minutes. 1t fell on the cabin
Of an humble Mexican herder. smashed
the whole family rs fat as pancakes, and
Oiled the heavens for miles around with
what the night editor called q "baleful
illumination The story made q full
column, pulled the paper through that
night, and scored a wild, uproarious. un-
dreamsd-of hit 1t was copied all over
the country, was discussed by the yard in
scientific journals and after raising a
tremendous row in learned societies in
every corner of creation, settled down to
respectable Immortality In the encyclope-
dias and text books. Meanwhile the
office was inundated with flood OF let
tiers from astronomers, biologists and
savants high and low from Yokohama
to Kalamazoo. The night editor saved
the foreign postage stamps on the enyel-
lopes and they made the finest collection
in the Lone Star State. The letters he
used for pipe lights. That's the true and
authentic history Of the huge meteoric
stone W hich weighed approximately a ton
and fell near Fort Stanton, Tex, in 1888.
Don't tell any body gave it away
New Orleans Times Democrat.
The Portland daily press., 1899-03-02
THE SUNDlAL.

Shadow OF the dial plate, deigneth scarce to
stir.
Faster, time All, why so slow, while 1 wait
for her?
Sunlight on the dial plate. How the moments
racei
Slower, time Ali, why SO fast while I see
her face?
Darkness ON the dial plate when the red sun
sets.
Time, what need of you at ALL since my love
forgetsT
in John a Dreams.
The Portland daily press., 1899-03-02
A Little Learning.

The Cleveland Plain Dealer tells of a
,olored man who noticed board displayed
In front of building in course of erection.
1t bore these words Keep Away. Dan
gerl" The colored man walked up close
to the board and traced the letters Win
his finger. His lips moved as If he were
spelling out the words. Before ne naa
finished the keep away brick fell from
The Portland daily press., 1899-03-02

an upper story and struck him squarely
on the head. Without even looking up no
backed across the sidewalk and examined
the big cash In his hat. As he smoothed
u down he sadly remarked, "Dat's one O.
de drawbacks to . inherited edercationl"
The Portland daily press., 1899-03-02

Australia could be made to support 400,
900, 600 inhabitants of the black or yellow
races, ablo to endure the climate. The
present population is only 5000, 600.
The Portland daily press., 1899-03-02
bullets.

Bullets, partially hollow, which expand
in the wound, are sometimes used foi
shooting deer, while hollow headed ex-
plosive bullets are in request for dispatch
ing tigers elephants ana other big game.
The Portland daily press., 1899-03-02

More than hundred tons of gun cot
ton are manufactured in England every
year
The Portland daily press., 1899-03-02

In tH Freneh-Gerinan war 4,o0o He
brews Mere in the German army, Of whom
8a7 CARRIED the Iron Cross for bravery in
the iieh.
The Portland daily press., 1899-03-02
SPECIAL.

In getting ready to remodel our store
we find we will be cramped for room for
. few weeks Therefore in order to
reduce our stock and make ready for our
New Spring Goods we have decided
to cut the prices on all our Winter
Goods. We can show some genuine
bargains never before offered BY any
tailor in Portland for first class custom
work.
The Portland daily press., 1899-03-02

MI Geo. II. York, we'll known to the
tailoring trade, can be found with me-
where he would be glad to serve all his
old customers and friends.
The Portland daily press., 1899-03-02

q Journal That Exists In Optimism and
Devotion to . neseste Cause.-The Paper
oratuitously Distributed, but 1t and the
Editor Are Sustained by Donations
The Portland daily press., 1899-03-02

70 Time to Bury the Dead, Who Lay So
Thick - TO Cover Large Areas Of Ground.
Blue and Gray side BY sids--Ths Letter
20 somsbody's "Daar Jack"
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1899-03-18
LATE NEWS ITEMS

Joseph Chamberlain, British secre-
tary of state for the colonies, intro
duced Il bill. on the 18th, empowering
local authorities to advance money TO
small occupiers to acquire ownership
OF small houses. on the principle of the
Irish land act and the Small-hOldingS
act. He said he believed such Il measure
would make better citizens and pro-
vide a popular form of thrift.
Arrangements are now perfected at
the treasury department 10 restore the
Patrol of the Eehring sea Ky fuu- ships
OF the revenue cutter service. The VCs-
|sriS.t he assigned to this duty are the
Rush. the COrwin. the Perry and the
Grant. all of which are now on the Pa
c;tic coast. The fleet will sail north
about May /. and remain on duty until
September L..
Ali men appointed scconIlicu.rnants
in the army. on the 18th, will have 10
pass examinations before tnry are com
misSioncd. They will take rank ac-
cordiu@ TO the examinations which they
pass. the men from the regular army
taking precedence over those appoint
a. from civil life.
Mai. Henry St0ncStrcct died at the
home of his daughter in KANSAS City,
Mo. 81 the 14th. Mai. StoncStrrct
was born in Lexington. Nv. in IN22.
and won his title in the confederate
army. serving through most of the war
As quartCrmaStcr of Gen. Joe Shclby's
brigade.
Motto" has been posted in the Fisk
dale tNIasS.) mills that on and after
April l the wages of the operatives Will
be raised To their former standard.
which means practically IN increase of
about II IL pr cent. About 800 hands
are Affected.
Secretary .\lgcr has issued an order
quoting the paragraph in The army law
aholi>hing the canteen and prohibiting
the sale of liquor on army reservations.
1t is stated the provision Of the law is
published for the information of all
concerned.
Fighting was renewed 10y Gen. Otis
troops under Gen. Wheaton,. on the
18th. when the insurgents were driven
back. firing the town of rasig is they
retreatcd. The American troops after
wards captured and burned Pateros.
NJ. Urbainc Gonicr. author of LAR
NEE Contra la Nation" t"Ihc Army
Against the Nation"D. who was placed
trial in Paris. on the 18th. on charge
of having insulted the army. was ac-
quilted. on the 18th. on all counts.
The president has appointed II. IL.
Eiddell postmaster at The DaiicS. Ore.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1899-03-18
The Work of n Mob.

Shortly after two o'clock the other
morning Il mol of about 60 men. all
masked, and some wearing false
boards. rode in to Missouri City. and
after tying their horses and holding u
whispered consultation, went to the
Jail.
They battered down the Jail door with
a sIedge hammer. and seized Odii Sum-
mers. alias Reuben Blue who was
locked up on a charge of V~dSrancy. They
marched him TO the public school grounds.
a block or two away. where they compelled
him II strip. Then, tying him 10 Il tree:
they laShcd him 10 times with Il twisted
grass rope an inch in diameter. When he
WIS released. WAS warned 10
leave Clay county and never return, un-
der pain of lynching.
After Summers had been disposed of.
the mob went 1" the home of Perry
CLANCY, 4 teamStcr. and demanded of
CLANCY that his nephew. Jim jackson.
be surrendered To them. CLANCY. whose
daughter WAS very Ill OF
Sough 10 reason with the mob. urging
them to h" quiet, but some one struck
him over tn" head with a revolver. and
forced their WAY into the house. CLANCY j
son. Lee. tried to prevail upon tn" mob 10
depart. hui he was forced to stand OuL-
side in the snow in his bare feet. jack
son. th">mIn wanted. SURRENDERED To the
mob. which then went. successfully. 10
the homes Of Jesse Yates. Jr.. J"" As
bury. Dennis Stevens and Ben Monkrrs.
ikin@ each with them as the went. Al
ter all had been gathered they were tied
together ana taken 10 an old IuCk quarry.
Stevens WAS stripped. and 20 l;t&h"S with
the same roi" Were given him. Jackson.
who is unIy Is. got 10 lIShcs. and each Of
tn" others -. After the whipping alt
We're notified that they must leave Clay
count within three, DAYS. hSbuTy. who
owned some property. WAS told that he
must disp.s" of il and depart with the
Others. ASbury sold his property and
started for Denver. -Four OF the men who
were whipped had families. They declare
hat they do not know what they We're
punished for. Some of them. it is said. are
suspected of stealing hogs and chickens,
frGn which th"ftS the farmers in the vi
cinity have suffered for Il considerable
time. The identity Of the men who COM
posed the mob is not known.
Perry Chaney'S daughter. who was sick
when the mob invaded her fathers home,
dieu in Il few hours.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1899-03-18

The retirement of Admiral =oA
Knorr has brought out the fact that
the German kaiser personally sem
what has been described a: an i'm
pulsive telegram TO Admiral Won Died
rating him harshly for making
trouble at Manila, and directing him
TO get out.
The Cuban military assembly, il
session, ~impeached Gen. Maxi
mo Gomez and removed him from his
as general-in-chief of the Gu.
ban army, the first ballot taken result
ing in 90 votes being cast in support
of the motion TO impeach and remove
Gen. Gomez against + in opposition.
According to a dispatch to the Lon
den Daily Mail from St. Petersburg.
fallen Wan, the Russian fortified port
i'll the Liau-Tong peninsula, will be
opened as n free port on the compile
ton of the Manchurian railway in 1902.
Billy Mack, who was recently adj
judged insane, at Wichita. Has. has
been cured by %hypnotism. Cure was eff.
fccted in one week. 1t is the first case
OF the kind known.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1899-03-18
THE LIKE NEVER SEEN BEFORE
Soldiers Remains to be Sent Home
and buried by the Gov
eminent.

Washington. March 15.-GcH. COrbin
has beer making arrangements for the
return of the dead soldiers in Cuba and
Porto Rico with Il view of providing for
their intcrment ut such places as the
relatives and friends of the deceased
may desire. Many applications have
already been received ASKING that the
remains he sent To the former homes
of soldiers. and all these requests will
be complied with. The department de-
sires to know in each instance where
the friends of tine dead soldiers desire
his remains to he sent. The name of
the soldier and the address to which
the body is 10 be sent ;fre cahled to
the commanding officers in Cuba or
Porto Rico. and as soon as il is received
the casket is marked accordingly. AS
soon as the Roumania arrives in New
York, which. however. is not expected
for a month. each casket will be for
warded to the place designated with
out difficulty or confusion.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1899-03-18
THE STANDARD OIL INQUIRY.
Some of the Workings of the Ccrpor.
ton shown Up by Witnesses
Refused to Identify.

Columbus. o.. March 1i.-Thc taking
of the testimony in the suits against
the Standard Oil Co. was resumed YES.
tCrday. Il. y. Matthews. the local man.
agcr of the company. was on the stand.
Letters which had beer written tc
agents in Ohio towns asking for names
OF competitors and information con
corning them were presented to the
witness. and he was asked 10 identify
his. signature. attached to them. The
most he would say was that he thought
the signatures might be his own. Ed
Fright. an employe. testified that while
the fight against the Paragon Oil Co.,
was il progress the price of oils was
reduced three cents on the gallon. He
also stated that oil taken from one
tank was sold as different brands.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1899-03-18
OUR IMPORTS AND EXPORTS.
Nearly of Imports Duty
Free-COnparntive Statement
for February.

Washington, March 15.-The Febru-
airy statement of the imports and eX-
ports of the United States. issued by
the bureau of statistics. shows as fol-
lows:
Imports of merchandise during Feb
ruary. 1899. $50 6O.O32: of which S2s.-
G14.119 was free of dmry. Increase
over February. 1898. about Si.1SG.O0O.
Exports of mcrcandise. $~93.SSi.Il9: lie
crease. $1,000. 900. Imports of gold. So
1iS.9O6: decrease. $1,000. 900. Exports
of gold. S324.S40; decrease. 100000
Imports of silver. $1.i21.G21. decrease.
SG5S.0O0. Exports of silver. $i,5c2.I 1886;
increase, $N00.000.
For the eight months caded Fcbru-
airy -. 1S9S. there was an increase in
the imports of merchandise. IL com
pared with the same period in 1S9S. of
S33.5l2.234. Increase in the exports of
merchandise. S3O.195.j6O. Increase in
the imports of gold, $36.G51.433. De-
crease in the exports of gold. SS20.2lf.
Decrease in the imports uf silver. ST.
Stills. Increase in the exports of sill
Yer. S537.O76.