The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-07-07
VOL. XLIV---NO rs
VA RIETIES.

The faults of a good man are more
dangerous than the vices of a thor.
oughly bad one.
One of the notices in Chauncey
Depew's house is this: UNLESS what
we do Is of us glory is of no account"
GLORY won sellishly is no glory.
-Boy--Ain't it time to eat the good
things? Enthusiastically not. You
must wait until your friends come.
Boy-l guess they won't come, cause
l didn't invite them. | thought I'd
rather have it entirely exclusive.
do you think man has a right
to open his wife's letters - "WeIl. he
may have the right; but | don't see
how he could have the courage"
Here will pledge thee, dearest
one, sang the tenor, as he left his
watch for safe keeping.
When a man becomes famous it
would seem that every man in the
country VENT to school with him.
1t is a wise child that knows
enough to keep its face straight when
its father is learning to ride IA wheel.
Jack: II wonder how it was first
discovered that fish was brain food?"
Jill "Probably by the wonderful
stories that men tell who go fishing"
-Irascible Lieutenant down engine
room tuba): rs there blithering
idiot at the end of the tube?" Voice
from engine room: Not at this end,
sir.n
parts of themselves in different
places?" Ma: No; don't be ridicu-
Ious." Willie: well, Mr.. Jiggs said
he was going to Colorado for his
lungs"
Ma" said Tommy. suddenly
CHANGING up from his novel, what's
THAT, =" replied his mother, with a
what your father usually brings home
from fishing excursion"
HE who knows right principles
is not equal to him who loves them"
says Confucius. 1t. is by what we
love, not by what we know, that we
make ourselves.
"A little girl ran into drug store
and asked for five cents worth of pills.
"Antib;lious?" asked the clerk. No"
said the child, ''uncle's bilious"
Tom: why so moody. old chap?
Thinking of the future?" Dick: mo;
my wife has birthday party to.
morrow. and I'm thinking OF the
present"
Mrs. Watts: MARY Ann, these
banisters seem always dusty. l was
at Mrs. Jobnson's today, and her
stair-rails are clean and smooth as
glass" Mary Ann: "Yes'm. She
has three small boys"
The other day gentleman and
his wife were fined for riding without
lights attached to their bicycles. They
told the magistrate they had taken
up cycling for the sake of their livers,
and thought it hard lines to be prose
cuted for having no lights.
-Spinks MY wife suffers from a
mental disease, doctor; she exag-
gerates everything, she multiplies all
she speaks of by twenty. How can
she be cured?" Doctor: Him.
Well, you might turn the converse
ton, whenever possible, on to the
subject of her age"
"A joker offered to bet five dollars
with gentleman that he would ask
sixteen persons one and the same
question, to which he would receive
the same answer. The bet was &C
,epted, and the joker asked each one
Of the sixteen this question: Ibid
you hear that Smith is bankrupt"
Which Smith?' was the stereotyped
'eply.
Mrs. Gush well--Of course you
owe children, Mr.. Syunick2 Synnick
Mrs. Gushwell--
And which do you like the best, little
Boys or little girls? nnick-That
depends. When there are little girls
present l think prefer little boys;
Jut when am in the company of little
boys, my heart goes out to the little
girls.
-He--What would you say, if
we're to steal a kiss from you? She
But that is impossible. He-Impos-
ible! Why SO, pray. She--Because
you can't steal anything haven't got
md no one has ever given me kiss
ee