davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-09-19
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

my only objections to the chainless
wheel and the horseless carriage is
their responsibility for such an awful
lot of pOintless jokes was the remark
of the Cornfield Philosopher at the close
of the grocery ymposium.-Indianap
lis Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-09-19

Up to the New Standard-"I under
stand you are looking for a servant, -
said the girl. "Oh, dear, no. answered
the lady of the house. when I was
first married I was foolish enough to
occasionally look for a servant but I
got over that. I'm looking for a gener-
al supervisor of the household now
Chicago Evening Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-09-19
CUSTOMERS.

Motors sold and current furnished at
very moderate and attractive prices
Let US tell you about it. A little time
spent in examining our facilities for
serving you Will not be thrown
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-09-19

Reason for It.-"Why is she only in
half mourning? OF course she married
old Skinphlint for his money. but she
ought to respect MS memory now that
he is dead ooh, she thinks she's do
ing all that is required under the cir
cumstances. He only left her half his
fortune ''-Chicago Evening Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-09-19

Mrs. FIynn-Is Alderman Clancy a
friend of your family2
Mrs Grogan-He is not. Befoor cleo
ton he promised to git me boy Patsy a
government job, and after election he
directed me boy to a recruiting office
Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-09-19
AWAY

If you can't come, postal US and our
representative will call on you.
EDISON ELECTRIC ILLUMINATING co.
Motors and Power for All Purposes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-09-19

The Word Splitter Squelched-They
were gazing across the lake 1T looks
like rain" said the man who is reckless
with his English. What tlool1s like
rain" cOldly inquired the word split
ter Water" said the reckless man.
Cleveland Plain Dealer
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09
LONG MESSAGE FOR HIS PIPE.
Telegraph Operator Wired Through
Four Countries.

The telegraph office of the London
Brussels and London-Paris cable COM
paneS are directly opposite 10 each 9th
er in one of those narrow streets OF
London where one hardly has room
enough 10 change his mind.
The operators are good friends, and
often when work is slow cross to each
other TO have Il friendly chat.
1t happened during the English Sou
dan war that the operators were kept
constantly at their Instruments. not
having time for calls. The operator of
the Paris cable discovered that he had
left his pipe on the table of his col
league across the way the night pre-
viorS.
To 90 over for ii was an impOsSibility.
The clicking OF the instrument would
not permit even rising from his chair.
He could not catch the eye of his friend
10 communicate to him by signs
He called the Dover office to connect
him with Calais, across the channel
then the operator there put him on with
Paris, thence with Chalon. Coblentz,
Brussels. Ostend and back to England
with his comrade across the way.
Then he sent the following mesSa ge:
If it is possible for you to return my
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09
Sea Water of Hany Colors.

On Il bright. sunny day visitors are
often puzzled ut the uuH1rou> colors
visible on the surface of the sea There
will. perhaps. he some four or five
strrakS of green. blue, yellow. black
and So forth, making tn. water appear
as though it were painted in color
stripes of mathematical precision. To
the initiated these several stripes have
their meaning. They are nearly all pro-
duced 10y the character of the ocean
ted, and rs Il rule are only seen in close
proximity To land. If YOU see a dcop.
blue or green patch, you may label If
deep water. The blue usually being
deeper than the green. \ yellowish tint
signifies a sandy bottom. and. if If is
very pronounced. Indicates Il shoal or
>anlhank. Black indicates rocks. al
though ScaWeti or cloud shadows will
sometimes produce n similar effect. ON
the east coast it is no uncommon thing
Ia see Il patch of bright red where the
sun has reflected the color of tho doom
brown sand on the surface. Where rho
bottom is muddy. a> on the Essex
coast. streak OF bright silvor-rrov is
often seem Many people who cannot
claim intimacy with tile sea- imorine
these color> are in the sea water itse,f
whereas its intrinsic tint IS bluisb.
green.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09

with air breaks. but the old way of
risking crushed hand in coupling
with link and pin 5 i'll continued. Great
skill was shown 10y experts in naA-
ipulatiug these So rs To fall ALWAYS ut
the right tilt. Suprrintcndents finally
made each man carry Il short club 10
help in this work. 1t operated well
and reduced the risk. and here was the
start of the automatic coupling for
freight ears.
With the passage of the interstate
commerce law. the matter of the pro-
lection for employees was taken up in
earnest. The industrial unions agi-
tatcd the subject. and forced the roads
TO act. experiments were made. March
,. 1888. the law was passed that put n
new system into operation. and with
the present year uniformity Of action
with the various roads has gone into
effect This measure throws all the
known safeguards around all classes
of railroad employees. especially those
who handle the commerce OF the coun-
try by its restrictions no rolling
with air brakes aud automatic cOu-
plnws. No man need now 80 behind 4
moving engine and make Il coupling
The fact that the great lines could not
all At once equip their engines ana
ears is the reason why six years have
been given to gradually perfect ar
rangemcnts \ violation of this law
10y an average road running 4u.OOD
ears would cost a couple of millions,
the fine for each violation being SlUO
Still. some roads are not, yet entirely
ready. and Congress is being petition
ed to extend the time for five years
additional in some instances where the
adoption of the new devices will have
10 be slow and gradual.
The total equipment. locomotives and
cars last June. was l.333;ii. go. OF this
number but 44S.>:l4 We're fitted with
train brakes. and 545.5Si with auto
matte couperS The increase durin.
the year lS9> was 21.33i9. In 1851, out
of every l52 trainment employed one
WAS killed, and only Isl passengers
suffered similar fate. or one ont Of
> .>21.414. This indicates the terrible
risks a>>ailing a railroad employee be
fore safety appliances We're adopted
As has been said. the chief calSe
of delay in forcing these improvements
WAS the lack of uniformity. Some
cars have their draWheAd> we'll up on
the platform. others drop under. leg
islation has established popular
plane 1t has not taken long To >ift
the devices down to one that possesses
the requisites of universal interlock-
ing couplerS that unite automatically
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09

An Austrian scientist found unon Tho
body of a prle>teSS " hu WAS Anh,In,o.,
in the eleventh pyna> yy-about 3ooo
years r. C.-liuca, blue marks which
H. 1T fr>t supposed were Tor oruonen,
hut which he afterwards concI,d,I
We're the result nj some virorous ,nuli
cation of remedies. The marks ,,o,,
hpth below and above til. unhili,,,,
tAoSe below running alinu>; horjvon,,l
~ White thos" above it ran in = vnrti..,,
direction. The surgical measures wow,
evidently taken Il long tine before ,ba
t'dtH ~ NE woman, and Ncr, perhau.
intended to cure hes of SOM, n.lri.
trouble chronic pelvic peritonjtis nr
what not. This method Of Iot~odr......
uIu-S into the body is SUN ur,.,t.n'7
IL Egypt. and the writer was oh,a -
collect details a. ninety->eyeu ,nsa. IN
"hIcn 1t was employed. In ro., -
them tho tattooing was done ,,n,,, ,N,
temples for tho relief of headach, 'n
neuralgia. but lit ether cases th,. sca,,
-e"'-oA was made rpou The hands fast
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09

the progress of the times. and railway
employees and the general public alike
have been Intensely interested in the
investigation and adoption of appli-
anceS that place risk To life and limb
at the lowest possible minimum.
Fifteen Years ago the man who de-
voted himself to Il career on the hurri-
cane deck of Il freight car took his life
in his own hands. He was forced To 20
in between moving ears, take out cor-
ping pins and put them in with his
naked hands. On the road the brake
man WIS also Switchman he had 10
maintain his position on top Of the ear
while In motion. set brakes when sig
nailed. take the ground ana make NY
Ing switches. rut ont ears. rrcruplc
and risk all the possibilities of fatal
accident which no care nor skill could
overcome. He WAS exposed To all kinds
OF weather. II might rain 50 hard that
he could mo- see the lights fifty feet
away. Ii might 50 Slcet thar his lofty
perch was slippery rs glass. \ slide
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09
Getting Even,

II II not always easy 10 punish a hoOr
without losing ones temper. but a Lon.
don paper tells how a boat-luad of sail
or>. on >hore-lcave from a man-of-wa
did 1t sood-naturedly and without VIC.
lence.
As they tourneyed up the roadway
into the Cornish village. a geutleman's
Wa-onette passed One of the rorS
thouehtlessly jumped on the step be-
hind.
Git OFF there shouted the coach.
man, and being a churliSh SORT of fell.
low. he dashed the sailor viciouslv
across the face with his whip. That
was enough.
In an instant the other eleven blues
had closed round and stopped the iran.
the h0atswa.n'S mate in comment
" Ten'ion"" cried he, and 'renriop rhars
was. "bi>mounJ Tho gun" he sboutal
AMI il >eelned a. If every bluefackat
carried Il whole carpenters ou-ti-
In three minutes they had taken rhA
v lgon"tte into one hundred and seven.
fy-two pieces. AMI that without -
much ~ scratching one hit Of pain- -,
losing solitary screw. They laid -ba,,
all out neatly on the stony road ami
the boat>waiu'> mate. after ,nSnac-i,,,
the job. cried Good, pism!s,"'
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09

ihe revolution. and four of Col. Wal
aces brothers We're associated with
him in the service.
VIM. A. Wallace grew up a quiet
country boy of huge frame and great
strength and was Il close associate or
the pleasant set of Lexington youth of
whom but one is now living. eX- Mayor
John w. Haughawaut. His quiet life
was Interrupted in the fall Of 1897 by
the news that his elder brother samuel
Wallace. who had some years before
emigratei TO the Texas frontier. had
been killed in the Fannin massacre 10y
the MeXican>. The news aroused in his
breast a stern determination To avenge
his brothers death. and in few weeks
accompanied hy two other youn. meq
Of kockbridge. lie Set OFT for Texas 10
carry out his purpose. He brought Il
valuable volunteer To tn. army of Tex
as. and the testimony of his story is
that the death OF his brother was
avenged many times over in Mexican
blood. He was one of thu famous band
OF Mexican and Indian fighters known
as Hays Rangers from the name Of
their commander. himself Roc kbridge
man from the family who named Hay ;
creek. stream in the county
Wallace'> record j. attestei by the
fact that though he never enjoyed a
higher rank than lieutenant. his name
+ houorel among Texans a one Of
the most famous IL the military history
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09
Credit-Stopping N0tihc

ITS no uncommon thin
New Orleans business man,
nothing in particular. FOR 4
chants to receive private ID
from the heads Of families n
some female member of the |
and such cases are. mighty
handle. As Il rule the lady
Il GOOD customer. and II We
matter how Automatically,
derS. we are almost certain
future trade. Chagrin, II no
viii keep her out of the hOuS
Will 20 to some store that v
scene of 50 nlortIfying an eI
on the other hand. we say d
run the risk Of losing the B
however. i generally the col
sue. l trust To luck and tOl
to Wheedle the Indignant
into footing the account. AZ
is simply eXaSperated Ovei
trava gancp of the hour. ana
coolS off there is no furtherir
the same. | wish 10 heaven
would run their domestic an
selves without calling on tbel
10 give Them assistance. !
ceiVe Il credit-stopping notln
| heave a sigh and make a fe
that wouldn't sound well a
meeting. New Orleans I'll
crut.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09
B'G FOOT WALLACE.
Adventurous Career of the Most ne
markabie Man in Texas.

"Rirfoot" Wallace is dead. Nhen he
gave I'D the ghost on his ranch near
Bevine the most remarkable man Ill
Texas had ceased to live. He was 81
years old
All the romance of sixty years OF Dor
der life was crowded into his adNeh-
turous career. At the age of 20 he lett
his home ut Lexington. Va. and went
to Texas for the express purpose o.
avcnSng the death of his brother. who
was captured and slain by MeNicanS In
1886. He was Il participant i'll the re-
marllable struggles on the Texas border
before the war with Mexico. and was
everywhere known as fearless fighter
and an impacahle foe. His name was
for more than fifty years Il household
word in Texas.
In the gloomy dungeons of Pcrote it
took seven giant MeNicans To throw
this struggling Texan to the earth ana
bind him. After he had lain fourteen
days chained hand and foot face down
ward to Il rock. without food or water.
when the thongs We're cut and the riv-
cts forced apart his first act was to
spring AT one of his tormcntors and try
To throttle him.
His Christian name was William An
derSon Wallace. and he was the third
son of Andrew Wallace of Rockbridge
County. Virginia. and was born nearly
81 years ago in the brick house now oc-
cuped by his grand nephew. W. b.
Wallace. who res DIES about Il mile from
Lexington. Va. w. A. Wallace was of
evolutionary stock. His grandfather.
FOL. VIM. $. Wallace. was soldier of
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09

pilgrims pass going around the sarco-
nh,yi In niche is a scroll of the law.
and an ostrich egg is suspended beneath
the dome. as is the custom in all FER
sian tombS.
The sarcophagi are made Of dark
wood. evidently of great antiquity. ana
are covered with inscriptions In He
brew. Fac SMILES of the inscriptions
have been taken from plaster impress
sionS now in the possession of DR.. IA
doe Kahn. chief rabbi of France.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09
BOON TO BRAKEMEN.
SAFETY APPLIANCES ON RAJ.
ROAD CARS.
Interstate Commerce Law Has Conn
PEELED III. Great Trunk Lines 10
Equip Freight Carsand Engines with

With the beginning of the new year
there was signalizcd the execution of
a law that gives 10 railway employees
vastly superior degree of safety and
protection than they have hitherto en-
Joycd. \ visit IL the various railroad
repair chops during the last month OF
1S9S would have Witnessed unusual
hustle and preparation. for many in
terState lines were striving To complete
the equipment OF their freight rolling
stock. with security appliances required
Ivy legislation. These efforts indicate
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09

y Clergyman one day yisltE|
pariShioner inquired of herA1
LARRY read her Bible. TO whel|
lady replied In the attirnlal'|
Soon after. a, he minister W
To depart. he suggested fea7
evening chapter, 10 which y
add his blessing. After a wv
the Bible was presented 10
ter. who looked at its dusty CIV
establishment: but tile OLD IVY
muring something about uu'
ing" wiped the book win W
her apron.
The minister taking the H'
fell open where a pair OF y
had been left in il. The GU =
denly perceiving the specs "
AMI cried:
Bless me. there Is my spy
lost a year ago" Spare Ao'
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09

sage. To the left IS the tomb Oh Noi"'
ancient savage. and to the right NV
tomb of an old physician. with S'ahu
hearing lamps and oil in front OF IT, y
wall separates the sacred part iron,
This outcr section. At the western '''"
=, door leads tn the principal part OF 'iie
tomb 70 the right is MordecaiS TOMB
and to the left Esthers. separated from
each other by Il corridor, along "ii''"
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09
How He Came to Tread tOe

1t is probable that had foi'
ert>on not become an ACTOR :
have been an artist. Alnons Z
urcS at home are the var'ou'
which he made when a stuu''
academy schools. PrObaDi! y,
most interesting of these ~,
that of a little girl some o~,
of age. who was a mOdel ~
but her beauty in later yea',
for her some time ago 'n'
heart of Il young peer.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09
Remote.

Here is a new story OF MP
evening a young lady sang q !,
"Barrack-Room Ballads -
heat of her emotion she s.'pI
from the piano and alighleu !,
She blushed and stammefe'
Ogy. M
"Oh. don apologize" ne .e,, W
the corn WAS four toes OIL
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09
Thc Inrn.Eed Phil0soF

There are three express h
the coru-fed nhilosopher' wi
for the artist 10 seize; 'ne \
mother watching over 'ne I,
frs, born: a young mans =, \
as lie meets the one wop'a, N
world. and an old man
good diurAr.'- lndinnapOiD
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09

pipe without its being compelled to fol-
low the route Of my dispatch. please do
50 immediately" His friend happened
70 have an assistant. who took the pine
over al once.
This message travelled through Eng.
land. France. Germany, Belgium and
England.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09
TALK BROUGHT
Smart Young Man whor..
Frailties of Hn-.

"Somctimes 1t pays h
mouth shut, and then A. I
stances Of profit when II /,
run at large" remarked 4
"A couple of weeks ago N
crowd of us in the smosI,
ment Of a sleeping car ON
for st. Paul. Among tho u
a loquacious young En,lslI
lost no time in informing NJ
companions that he was On,
make a bid in Minnesota M
tract about to be awardedkl
company, He knew Just n
going To do. even to the All
bid on 10000 ties, and no ~
fully as he told us. Final,
his own loquacity, be lett 1
and was presumably drsu,
tie contract. when a Qujet
had been sitting over IN 1
threw down his cigar and
" That just goes to sbo,
unWiSe some of these imD,
ciers are. II happens thatI
way to Minnesota to bid a
tie contract that young N.
His was the only firm va
but now that he's given me
we'll. it seems almost too {
"Olher members of the "a,
instances of similar busipe,
sihilities. and | must c0Dfg
of lis had Il very fiatterin:
English agent. Last wees
to Chicago. | met the youu
my homeward trip. He SCI
| asked him, somewhat pit
the tie contract came out.
ON. | got it, he replieI
there was only one Other
way. and they sent an ag
last week. | knew him !
on the train. and out there
in"-room talked a lot at
tract ana what my firm "
bid. OF course he underl
figures. but not the actV
yes: we got the contract.
And that's why | belle
talk sometimes. "-ChicagO
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09

He-Why dill YOU fail to recognize
No on ne street today: >he-I dldn,,
SCI yon- He-That's strange. saw
Won twice. She-oh. that probably az.
counts fHr il. l never NOTICE a man IN
that conditio1.-Chicago New.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09
shoulders, knees. bu,..

shoulders knees, butts.'
abdomen. The techpiou. !.
Ihrh' IS AS follows: Prom y !
on needles, which are hon.,
u bunch. are thrus, ob,,asI
skin. When blood beaIns :, !
III" punctures thus mad =
milk ANA SCOT. to whios
various plants has h.,
rubbed into the wound, w
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09

When 4 ri drinks She i better loot
ing than >An really !. it spoi.> her for
what little good looks Sic has.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09

ola--''Th
en-, had Il
tpela,s vi
and itchi
Z. Several
IN month |
((h Hood
well. VI
Mas. DAvl
B(De --''Vol|
Cstration
5euralgia, g
Ny age wa
sEilla cure
Increased |
a nlotl,er 4
we'll and 81
bI,ow. M
EWasllillgto|
pl1sa
tWO-yPar-|
y on face a
<Dlpel until
|hich sOOi |
fM Mni,fptI
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-03-09

|pte nted I
fInusical
|iysi, b
TO, alb
The note
OOW IN
tiles Of
me Of
j, Prime
lR3snthse q
ose,l til,
llh the Ul1
III ------
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1899-12-06

Despite the persistent denials Of the
inspectors who passed upon the sea-
worthiness Of the rotten old transport,
the "Manauense," that she was in bad
shape for a long voyage, the truth still
eclipses their transparent attempt to
extenuate the non-performance of their
duty. The horrors to which the brave
four hundred volunteer soldiers were
subjected by the criminal carelessness
Of these same inspectors who were paid
to examine the ship and failed to doso,
is entirely too frequent in country
harboring roseate aspirations to foreign
imperial possessions. The country
will not soon forget the infamous
canned beef scandal and the govern
ment's justification oft by its soothing
reward to ole Eagan-nor will schem-
ing ship owners forget soft snap
when they have an old worn out hull,
fit only for kindling wood, which they
want to palm off at a profit on it's orig
inal cost. Remember the Mer rimac," !"
and also remember the "Manauense,"
a hull originally costing $4,000, and
for which it's owners had the cheek to
demand of the United States $3.50, 600,
was rented by the government for
$500 a day for a 33-day's voyage.
Wanted-By the government, box Of
sawdust, secondhand insurrection
or any old thing. Good prices to gen
tlemen of political influence.
The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1899-12-06
4 Family Reunion.

MIR. EplroR: We spent Thanksgiv
ing Day very pleasantly at fanny
reunion at MI Nimrod Hays. All OF
his children were present except one, Il
son, who lives in Texas. His children
and grandchildren present numbered
seventy, and those absent numbered
fOrty-four, making total OF one hun
dred and fourteen descendants. 1T
was mother kay's birthday She was
73 years of age, and seemed as Jovlal
and pert as her daughters. Every one
present was happy and joyful:
About 10 o'clock grandfather. Kay
called the little ones around his knees
and treated them to fruits and candy,
which they appreciated very much.
at 10 o'clock we all assembled at a
long table, which was loaded down
with almost everything good to cat.
Mother Kay is a good cook and has
raised four good ones. and you may
rest assured the food was well prepared.
There was an abundance OF everything
more than all of us could consume
and in the afternoon baskets were sent
to the absent ones and to nclghbors.
1t was a grand sight to see this large
family gathered around the aged par
ents, and our prayer is that when we
all pass from this earth we may be
gathered around Gods throne. 1t was
the intention Of father Kay to- have u
picture of the group made, but the
photographer failed to come.
We will ever look back to this happy
occasion with the most pleasant rccol--
lections. May God bless each and
every member of this household and
spare their lives &c meet again.
ONE WHO MAS PRESENT.