The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-01-12
PASSING EVENTS.

PASSING EVENTS.
BY HANS MILLER.
One of the members Of the Kansas
legislature used to run hay press
some years ago. He is in great demand
by capitalists to press measures through
without friction.
Because man was partly deaf and
had poor memory, a Chicago Judge
decided to impose short sentence on
the man who was convicted of grand
larceny the other day. There is no mis-
take about that Judge not being phil
anthropist.
There are few papers in this state
who are incapable of deriving any
pleasure from life unless they can be-
little the men of this place. The class
of papers we speak of, delight in draw.
ing parallels smacking of an odious ma
ture. Such opportunities occur quite
frequently, and when they do happen
these moulders of public opinion cough
up the walls of their wrath as quickly
as the vulture pounces upon the travel
err in the desert when he becomes hors
de combat. When they wish to bowl
over their opponent with last desper-
ate lunge, they speak Of their
honor and character as being on par
with that held by men of this institution.
Our character and honor may be some
what Spanish and transitory for the
time being, but it it was to be placed
upon the stock exchange along side
with certain pillars of society, ours
would be demanded for loudly, While
Father Time and the deadly microbe
would have to dispose OF the other
commodity. AS we said before, this
abuse is only confined to a few half
witted, pin.headed editors who wallow
in filth and Misrepresentation. If
their dirty rag indicates that they are
men of honor and character, it was
high time for the board of health to
call in the fire department and give
them respectable appearance.
There is one redeeming feature about
such slime as this-one which is very
gratifying-and that is that they al
ways emanate from some half -weaned
calf, running fifth rate paper, whose
sole income is potatoes, cabbage, cord.
wood and vote of thanks for publish
ing church notices.
Prof. Weld, superintendent of the
prison night school, is a stickler for
dignity in the prison school work: he
demands from both the teachers and
pupils that they act with courtesy in
their intercourse with each other In
passing through the school the other
evening the professor was shocked to
hear one of the teachers address a
pupil as Badly, and Immediately after
ward address another as COrns. Cali.
ing the teacher to him he requested
him to explain his conduct, and was
told that he called one Badly because
he was always at the HEAD of the class
and the other Corns because he was
always at the FOOT.
One of the newly appointed Judges
in New York weighs 500 pounds.
This is a rank injustice. Just think
how easily that man can handle a
heavy sentence.
Dealers in cut glassware expect a
raise in this commodity. There is no
cause for alarm, for beer glasses are
continually on the raise.
Between we'll driller and a lawyer
there is very little difference. They
both bore into mans property.
When man gets married at high
noon it is potatoes to doughnuts that
his wife will rule him with "high
hand;" and in despair, he will eventual
ly become a "high roller
0 o o
A man never knows when he is well
Off-that is-Off his base.
o D o
Considering that policemen are al
ways looking for revelations, they
ought to be good Christians.
o 0 o
Young men of the present period