davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-01
VOL. XLIV---NO rs
FAMOUS TAKERS,

johnson, perhaps, set the fashion Of
estimating the capacities of man by
his colloquial powers. His opinion OF
Burke was, that you could not talk
with him for five minutes without saw.
ing, "This is an extraordinary man.
johnson honored man who fairly
put his mind to his. If we pass in re.
view the most eminent of those who
are remembered as conversationists, 1t
is doubtful whether we shall find q
single name that can be for a moment
opposed to Johnson. Curran, as a CON.
verser, was infinitely Burke's superior.
AS converter, Curran was, indeed,
the first man of his day-of day Of
intellectual giants. Horne Tooke,
with all his respect and friendship for
Grattan, allowed Curran to be superior
in wit to Grattan. "Curran's the man
who struck me most" wrote Lord
Byron. 1.-THE riches of his Irish imag-
ination were exhaustless. have
heard that man speak more poetry
than ever have seen written.n George
Selwyn achieved his reputation as q
wit rather than a talker. AS wit, he
stood in the first rank. If he was not
always as sparkling, he was always
less premeditated than Sheridan.
Walpole, who praises nobody but him
self, praises Selwyn. The pearls that
Selwyn carelessly threw from him
Walpole carefully collected and reset
in his cOrresDondence
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-01

| Cissy, land even if Ethel is nv sister
| don't think you ought to put all OF
the blame on her. She felt awful bad
| about it. l slept with her that night,
cause Aunt Laura came to see us, and
l heard her crying. And yesterday
we'll you know there's a basket of
| photographs on the piano, and ma
| expects me to keep the piano busted,
| and sometimes forget it, and sneak
| ed in the parlor, and there was Ethel
looking at your photograph, and
! when she saw me abe showed it in the
pile and walked away, and / looked
on the top of the piano and there was
four big teardrops in the dust. Say
what was it you quarreled about
Annie Pleasanton?'
II believe her name was mention
ed" said George.
Somebody told Ethel that they saw
you and Annie riding together in the
park, didn't they?'
81 believe so, admitted George.
YES" said Cissy, calmly. THAT
was me-"
"You told her that2" cried George.
Yes" said Cissy sweetly, II told
her. She wouldn't let me wear her
second best hat"
George looked black for q moment,
then his face cleared. He turned alb
ruptly and stepped to the phone.
az. 1901 L." he called.
Knows it by heart" murmured
Cissy.
us Miss Ethel thereY" inquired
George. "Yes, wish to speak to
her.
George" cried Cissy, don't you
forget that the girl at the exchange is
listening to every word you say"
"Is that you Ethel2" inquired
George at the phone. Eyes, it's
George. 1 wanted to tell you that
Cissy is here with me. Yes, she's all
right, and hope you didn't worry
much. Yes. She came on business.
She had little confession to make"
George Henderson," cried Cissy.
II will explain it all to you when l
come up. Yes, Pm coming to dinner
if you will let me. Cissy is going with
me to matinee and then we'll come
up together. What's that3 Cissy
isn't dressed to go anywhere2 Why2
Why, l fancy she's got on her best
Clothes"
Much you know about it," snorted
Cissy.
anyway, she is looking charming"
Ring off" cried Cissy.
I'll think that's all until we meet,
goodby." And George reluctantly
rang off.
''If hadn't been here" said Cissy,
you'd have most likely melted that
wire"
"All ready2" queried the smiling
George as he took up his hat.
"All ready" said Cissy with great |
alacrity. And my stock-the books,
you know"
'I'll take care of them," said |
George,
Two more excuses for coming up"
giggied Cissy.
Come along" cried George.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-01
NURSERY RAGGING.

That blessed youngster of yours,
writes a woman to mothers, will be q
a baby but short time, and oh the
happiness of living without everlast.
ing "don'ts" and mustn'ts" hurled at
you. Iye seen children that have
been watched and "don'ted' and
scolded so much that they are abse-
lutely without interest to anyone,
having the general air of kicked pup
pies, and always on the lookout for
verbal blows and cuffs. Teach the
little girl or little boy to be neat and
tidy, but for heavens sake don't make
an old maid or finicky old man Of
him or her.
Remember that the child's mind is
bent upon its own pleasure and enter
tainment, and it can't be expected to
know that a certain sofa cushion
must be always at certain angle or q
chair set exactly in one spot. In fact
that mind has not reached the grown
up stage Of understanding details. 1t
is just q sweet, dear little baby mind,
and the blossoming Of the bud can
give more holy, sublime Joy to the
mother heart than anything else on
the face Of the globs-or in heaven
either, for that matter.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-01
AFLOR1DA "HOME FOLKSF.,

A New York club woman tells of q
remarkable dinner called "home
folksy" which her daughter recently
attended at the home of a school friend
in Florida.
The unique feast was arranged in a
large Niagara grape harbor; all the
viands were served upon shells of diff
ferent shapes; the drinking cups were
gourds; the forks were cut out of
small orange branches. The table
mats were of wire grass sewed with
blue cotton, and the napkins were of
dishrag gourds. Everyone sat on the
ground in true picnic fashion. While
the whole effect was outre, it created
much merriment and will not soon be
forgotten by the participants.
Soon after the guests arrived they
were sent to the garden and grove to
pick the vegetables and oranges for
the dinner. Returning with their
spoils to the house they were seated
at one end of q long gallery, big aprons
tied on. each guest and bowls and
knives given them. Then came the
fun of actually peeling and preparing
their own vegetables while watching
the barbecuing Of the meat.
After good part or the dinner had
been cooked under the direction of an
old black auntie, she sent the young
people off to the shining lake at the
foot of the orange grove Ito wash
their hands and faces like good child
ren." On their return they found
this wonderful dinner spread out in
such novel fashion that their enthus-
iasm knew no bounds. Never was a
dinner eaten with such a relish.
Among the novel dishes noted were
scrambled eggs with mustard dressing
poured over them, and regular sponge
cake baked in waffle irons and served
with guaya ice-cream.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-01
THE OLDEST BANKNOTES.

The flying money" or convenient
money" first issued in China, 2697 B.
c., are the oldest banknotes. The
early Chinese notes were in all essen
tials similar to the modern banknotes,
bearing the name of the bank, the date
of the issue, the number of the note,
the signature of the official issuing it,
indications of its value in figures, in
words, and in pictorial representations
of coins or heaps of coins equal in
amounts to it's full value, and a notice
of the pains and penalties for counter
feiting. Over and above all was q
laconic exhortation to industry and
thrift: produce all you can; spend
with economy" The notes were print
ed in blue ink on paper made from the
fibre of the mulberry tree.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-01
A GOOD MEMORY.

One rainy day in the spring, says
Stray Stories, an old Yorkshire fisher
man returned to his native village after
an absence of fifteen years, and fear
fully sought the house which sheltered
his deserted wife. Entering without
knocking, he seated himself near the
open door, took a long and vigorous
pull at his dirty clay pipe, and nodded
jerkily to "t'owd woman" "Mornfn',
Maria" he said, with affected uncon-
Germ. She looked up from the potatoes
she was peeling, and tried to utter the
scathing TRADE she had fully rehearsed
since his departure; but it would not
come. Ben" she said, instead, once
more resuming her work, 'bring thesen
DER to t. fire, an Ah'll darn the hole
i thy jersey. All meant doin' t day
tina went away, but summat put me
off ~
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-01
An UNsAvoRY INTRODUCTION.

"This is a new business for me-"
whispered the chairman of public
meeting. What shall say in intro
ing you to the audience ?"
"You might describe me, II you
choose" replied the principal speaker
OF the evening, 'as the Nestor OF the
legal profession in the community.
That is what have been called some
times" The chairman looked some
what puzzled, but he rose bravely to
the occasion.
Ladies' and gentlemen" he said, 'ft
affords me no ordinary pleasure to
present to you Hon. Jabez Hornaday,
the nest egg Of the legal profession in
this community"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-01
CENTRE OF GRAVITY.

Two London urchins of about ten
and eleven years respectively were
were going by Chelsea barrack, when
one of them stopped in front Of q very
tall soldier on sentry duty. Calling to
his mate, the lad said, with bated
breath, "Just look at lis feet, Bill.
Amt they a size ?" Bill, in that tone
of contempt which comes of superior
knowledge. replied, "A corse they Is
Don't yer know WY that is 2" mo,
and no more do you" "Yus, 1 does.
Don't yer see, if lis feet wasn't bloom
ing yards, g centre of gravity 'ud fall
ahtside of 'em, and ed overbalance
hissel'. It's just like that Heffel
Tower what teacher was a-telling US
abaht,n
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-01
VALUABLE ITALIAN PAINTINGS.

The works Of Titan, Michael Angelo,
Raffaelle, or Holbein are worth i'm
mense sums of money. This is especial
ly realized by the Italian Government,
who passed law enjoining that no
picture, even though 1t be the proper
ty of a private individual, shall be sold
and removed from Italy by an alien
purchaser. A short time since pic
ture was sold for $50. 900, and now the
man who bought it cannot take his
purchase from Italy. 1t is an almost
impossible thing for private individ-
ual to start, or buy, a gallery of old
pictures which would be in any way
truly representative.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-01
WHAT TO PUT AROUND A TRUNK.

"Good," said a baggage man, touch-
ing as he spoke rope that was tied
around a trunk standing in a railroad
baggage room. It was a stout rope
and securely tied 80 far as the knot
was concerned, but it did not bind ON
the trunk and it would have been
difficult, If not impossible to draw it
close without some mechanical means
to help. AS it stood with the rope
loose about it, the trunk could have
been as easily broken by careless
handling as though there had been no
rope around it at all.
IA strap is the only thing" the
baggage man said, "to put around q
trunk"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-01
BOYS COMPOSITION ONPOETRY

Here is a Georgia boys composition
on Poetry"
"a poem is thing which has
rhymes at the last end. A poem also
has feet, but some poems don't stand
steady on 'em. Poets mostly has long
hair, because times is hard, and it's
cheaper to let it grow. Poets used to
live In garrets, on crust of bread
when the baker would credit 'em.
Now they live on the ground floor,
where they can escape easy when the
bailiff is after 'em. My father says
poetry makes the world better, but
my mother says it amt the kind he
writes. Poets have a monument when
they die, as people want to weight
'em down SOS they can't come back"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-01
AN ORCHESTRAL CLOCK.

One of the masterpieces of musical
clocks has just been completed for the
Emperor of China, in whose palace,
besides pointing out the correct time,
it will play selections with fully
equipped automatic orchestra. 1t is
pronounced the most complete must
cal automaton in the world, having
eight divisions, each Of which mad q
repertoire of eight melodies. All OF
the pieces played by this musical
clock were selected by the Emperor
himself, and consists of 40 foreign and
"a Chinese recitals. The case of the
clock is made of rosewood, in Chippen
dale, antique style.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-01
MISCELLANEOUS.
.HOICE Vegetables

At AkoA VI - 0OA>S
~ will always find a ready
market-but only that farmer
can raise them who has studied
the great secret how to OBJ
tain both quality and quantity
by the judicious use of we'll
balanced fertilizers. No fertil-
izer for Vegetables can produce
a large yield unless it contains
at least so Potash. Send for
our books, which furnish full
information. We send them
free of charge.
GERMAN KALI WORKS,
9, Nassau ST., Nov York.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-01
The Henry Watson Aid Society,

An Auxiliary Committee of the Henry Wat
son Childrens' Aid Society has been formed in
Bel Air. The duties of this Committee are:
First to look after children who are proper OBJ
jects of charity; I'd, to find homes in the coun-
for children under the care of the Society.
Full information upon application TO
REV. K. 4. CASTLEMAN, Secretary, or
WIN Fl. HARLAN. President. 24je
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-01
EASY WAY TO BE GENEROUS.

In the Baptist church of New Eng
land village was an old man who had
all the Christian graces save one, and
that one was liberality. He would do
anything in the world for the cause of
religion but give up his money. At
the close of the financial year of 1869
the church found itself $400 in debt.
A church meeting was called, and it
was voted to circulate subscription
paper on the spot, and endeavor to
thus raise the sum needed. This was
done, and the old gentleman did not
put his name on the paper. The re-
suit was rather disheartening, $500
only having been pledged. Silence
reigned for moment, when one of the
most generous men in the church
moved that 1--WE double our subscrip-
TONS" instantly the old gentleman
was on his feet, and with extraordinary
fervor cried, II second the motion"
He evidently felt that he was thus
doing his part in fastening a most de-
sirabie result. Round Table.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-01
YARIETIES.

-Jack-Do you know 1 always like
to converse with spinster at a social
gathering. Tom-Why do you-Jack
She never bores q fellow to death by
talking about old times.
Mrs. Sentimental (watching her
sleeping child)-How true it is that
heaven lies about us in our infancy"
H er ld-Blocded Husband-Yes, and
somebody else keeps it up afterwards.
Clara One can't believe a word
the men say any more. Maud-Why
not9 Clara--Well, there's Jack; he
promised faithfully never to tell any
one if l would permit him to kiss me
just once, and in less than minute he
had repeated it.
You need exercise" said the
doctor to a dyspeptic patient, land
particularly walking. What is your
occupation p 81 am postman, sir"
answered the patient.
81 must tell you a secret old man.
/ am going to elope and l want to wear
the correct suit; what is proper ?' "a
GETAWAY coat, OF course"
--"Oh. wirra, woTra2 To think that
only yesterday Oh wur batting him over
The head wild er flat-iron, and him q
hCllering thot strong and vigorous,
and now he lies dead !"
"A man who suffered badly went
TO consult a specialist about his afflic-
tion. The expert asked: do you
stutter all the time ?" "N-n-n-no,"
replied the sufferer, 81 s-s-stut-t-t
chilly when TT talk"
-.Customer-Your remember you sold
me this coat yesterday You said you
would return the money if it was not
satisfactory. Clothing Merchant
But, my dear sir, it was quite satisfac-
tory; never had peter money as dot
in all my life.
Ably wife says she saw the lights
all burning in your house as she came
home from the ball at 8 O'Clock in the
morning. She thought it a little
strange. B.-A little stranger It
was little stranger.
-"Do you think that constantly
wearing a hat has q tendency to make
a man bald ?" mo; but when a man
is bald I've noticed that it has a ten
dency to make him constantly wear a
hat"
but, papa, things have changed
since you were young" "Yes; they
have. Folks used to wait fifty years
for golden wedding, and now they de-
mand 1t at the START
Mrs. Strongmind--"Whyd don't you
go to work 3' Tramp-"Please, mum,
l made solemn VOW twenty years ago
that I'd never do another stroke of
work till women were paid tn same
wages as men,"
Young Wife: II got beautiful
parchment diploma from the Cooking
College todaY,-and I've cooked this
for you. Now, guess what it is"
| Husband with a slab Of omelette be-
tween his teeth): "The diploma"
Mrs. Brown-Our language is full
of misnomers. For instance, / met a
man once who was perfect bear, and
they call him "civil engineer" Mrs.
Smith-Yes, but that's not SO ridicu-
lous as the man they call teller" in
a bank. He won't tell you anything.
/ asked one the other day how much
money my hus band had on deposit, and
he just laughed OF me.
| Mo man ever obtained anything
worth having without working hard
for it," said Mrs. Bickers to her hus.
hand, who was in a discouraged mood.
THAT'S so, "replied Mr.. Bickers refiec.
lively, 81 remember that obtained
| you without the slightest difficulty
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-01
Gnstfcal.,
PERPLEXED MUSIC,

PERPLEXED E[USIC.
Experience, like pale musician, holds
A dulcimer of patience in his hand,
Whence harmonies we cannot understand
OF Gods will in His worlds, the strains unfold
In sad perpleXed minors Deathly cold,
Fall on us W nile we hear and countermand
Our sanguine heart back from. the fancy
land.
With nightingales in visionary worlds.
We murmur-"WhCre is any certain tune
Ofmeasured music. in such tones as these ?"-
But angels, leaning from the golden seat,
Are not so minded ; their fine ear hath won
The issue of complete caderces,
And. smiling down the stars, they Whisper
S1geet.
ELIZABETH BARRETT BROWNING.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-01
A MAORI DANCE.

There is nothing the natives of New
Zealand enjoy more the dance. They
throw their whole souls into it. What
they call love dances are quaint, If not
exactly pretty. Some of the women
would be most comely had they not
tattooed their faces, generally about
the lower lips. Each bearing a f1axen
toy called a poe in their hands, they
dance swinging them to and fro in a
rhythmic unison which is very taking.
The war dance in which the men join
is strange and repulsive affair. Al
most stripped of clothing, the braves
dance with the untiring energy of wild
dervishes. Facing each other in SER
ried lines they alternatively advance
and retreat. Faster goes the music,
and faster moves the limbs. The dark
faces grow fiercer every moment.
More and more ferocious become the
gesticulations of the frenzied and leap
ing danciers. Vertically they look as
if they would not only destroy but de-
YOUR their imaginary foes. AS the
physical excitement heightens, the
perspiration rolls in great drops of
sweat from the swarthy bodies, and
the reverberating beat of their feet
fairly makes the ground sake. For
the time being, in imagination at least,
they are once again the lascivious and
blood-thirsty cannibals that their fore
fathers were only generation or so
ago. One feels not little relieved
when the end of q somewhat horrid
performance is reached.
"MAKE ME A CHILD AGAIN"
"I'd like to be boy again, without
@ woe or care, with freckles scattered
on my face and hayseed in my hair.
I'd like to rise at o'clock and do q
hundred chores, and saw the wood and
feed the hogs and lock the stable doors.
And herd the hens and watch the bees
and take the mules to drink, and teach
the turkeys how to swim, so that they
wouldn't sink, and milk about hun
dred cows and bring the wood to burn.
And stand out in the sun all day and
churn and churn and churn, and wear
my brothers cast off clothes, and walk
| four miles to school, gets licking every
day for breaking some old rule. And
then get home again at night and do
| the chores some more, and milk the
cows and feed the hogs and curry
mules galore, and then crawl YEARLY
up stairs and see my little bed, and
hear dad say, That worthless boy-he
isn't worth his breadp I'd like to be
boy again-a boy has SO much fun !
his life is just o round of mirth from
rise to set Of sun. ] guess there is
nothing pleasanter than closing stable
doors and herding hens and chasing
| bees and doing evening chores"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-01
-U--az1U,r....z.sz
PARXER'S


G. A. Snow & Co, one of the oldest and most
successful firms of Patent Lawyers, whose
offices are opposite the United States Patent
cured patents for more than II, 900 inventors,
SAYS that, owing To the improved conditions in
the United States Patent Office, patents may
previous time in their experience of twenty
five year
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-01

Dent Tobacco Spit and Smoke Your Life Away.
To quit tobacco easily and forever, be mag.
netic, full OF life, nerve and vigor, take No-To-
BAG. the wonder worker, that makes weak men
strong. All druggists, SOC or 81. Cure guaran-
teed. Booklet and sample free. Address
Sterling Remedy Co, Chicago or New York
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-01

wOld Town Merchants can
SAVE MONEY for you.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-01

Use Hopkins Dyspepsia Tablets. 25e.
Iron County register., 1899-12-21
Obituary.

Caroline Matilda Martin, (colored, }
was born December 25th, 1924, ia
Salem, Tennessee. and died December
18th, 1899, at the age of "A years. II
months aGd "a days. She had been
sick for some time. She suffered brave
ly and patiently waiting for the beck
oning call, till at last those beautiful
portals were swung open for one mo-
ment and she gladly passed through to
join her friends who had gone before.
While in Tennessee she gave her heart
to the service OF the Master and united
with the Methodist church in that
place. She leaves seven children; four
daughters, three sons and a host OF
grand children and great grand child
reu, besides host of friends to mourn
her loss.
We sympathize deeply with the be-
reaved ones and entreat them to look
to the Divine One, for we know that He
doeth all for the best, and sister Martin
is only sleeping to await the resurrec-
ton morn. Let us realize that we may
be next; should we be, let us be pre-.
pared to bow our head and it is finished.
The funeral took place at 3 O'Clock
Tuesday from the NJ. E. church, Rev
c. NJ. Tony, the pastor preaching the
funeral sermon from the book of Num-
bers, 23d chapter, 10th verse. After
the service large concourse of friends
followed the remains to the cemetery,
where sne awaits the resurrection
morn. MRS. n. G. Tony.
Iron County register., 1899-12-21
Bellevue Collegiate Institute.

Ed. Register-As the holiday season
is approaching, which will make a
hiatus in school work, [ wish to make
brief report of the present condition
of Bellevue Collegiate Institute.
have never known the school work to
proceed in more systematic and Or
derly manner than now. Our senior
class is making most commendable
progress. The examinations in Biolo-
gy and Plane Trigonometry gave proof
of thorough work. and the class in
Stenography are now in dictation work.
and will be ready for positions in
March. We will have quite class OF
teachers, and others preparing to teach
to these worthy young people we will
spare no efforts to equip them for their
work. The classes in Latin and Ger
man languages are enthusiastic in their
studies, and now they realize that their
teacher is a complete master of the
work to be done. and they have caught
his zeal for thoroughness. We have
had quite number of visitors, but we
will be glad to welcome any who will
favor US at any time.
Respectfully, yours,
FL. A. SMITH.