The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1899-06-30
A LETTER FROM A W0ULD.BE
POSTMASTER.
SAssAFRAs JUNGLE, which is
betwixt Hickory Grove and :
Hooppole township, Ind.

Mr.. NEWsPAPERMAN:-l notice
that you are the same kind of a
sucker you was when we went to
school together at the beginning OF
this century. You got a puff in
your last weeks newspaper which
is to boom Mr.. Cox for congress,
and help him along to oil his cam
paign to sacrifice himself on the al
tar Of his country.
Don't you remember, you old
.tokie, how you did that very sane
thing several years ago for the rural
statesmen. What nice article
YOU had in the newspaper about
him and what nice congressman
he would make and what glorious
career he would run into.
What came of it now, you dear
old duffer?
And, what will come of it again? ?
Nothing.
Don't do it any more. There
are two many able bodied citizens
in Dubois county hankering after
that salary which the congressman
l. supposed to draw every thirty
days. And by booming one you
make the Others sick and despond-
ent.
Now there is that white haired
democratic wheel horse. who can
lick the Jasper ring with one hand
and the republican party with the
other, he has been kinder feeling
empty below the belt lately because
YOU sIighted him when you was
doleing out that encouragement to
the log roller from Birdseye. See,
you cause entanglements in the
smoke house ring by your doings.
Then there is Aleck, how about
him, seeing as he has been a stand
ing candidate for something big
every since the seventies. Are you
going to turn your back on him
who was our friend in times back
and who considering everything has
been kinder good anyhow. You
know he orter went TO congress
when the rural statesman went,
and maybe you didiim a terrible
Injustice by blowing the horn Ct
the Other one years ago, AMI there
by bringing him into the notice of
the diSpusfei public
Say, Mr.. Newspaperman, don t
You think the feller who runs the
schools Of this county orter have a
fair show at that place in congress?
Considering everything that will be
about the only way to get him out
of the school question. And he
would make good rural statesman
No. ,. Don't know but what that
still, bright-eyed cuss would make
rather good congressman.
And how about Dutch Gus? If
Dutch Gus can beat the senator in
a horse race for auditor, don't YOU
think he would be entitled to a free
show at running for congress.
And the e are Others too numer-
Gus and prodigious to write about,
but | will mention 'em little.
There is the gold bug, how about
him? Maybe he would send Us
liver pills by mail instead Of flower
seed, if he got to the halls of con-
gress, and then we could have our
livers renovated free Of cost.
And there is the doodle bug,
don't slight him. He could sell
thrashing machines when the balls
of congress were closed for repairs
during The intervim, and besides
he would send you grass seed to
sow on that street the town dads
want you to donate to them. Say,
amt them townlawvers getting rich
on fees received from their town to
defend their legal documents they
dent know how TO write up?
And how about yourself, Mr..
Newspaper mao? If any man in
the town Of Jasper deserves a re-
ward from the Democratic party,
you are that man. For forty years
you have labored, written and talk
ed for the party; when Others falter-
ed you went ahead, when 9th srs
doubted you shouted, when others
crawtished you advanced, when 9TH
ers scratched their ticket you voted
her straight. Now then, knowing
you a | do, since we went to school
together years ago, | swing your
flag for congress to the breezes and
nail it to the mast.
Next week | will write YOU anoth-
er letter, Mr.. Newspaper man, about
other "reminiscences.
Yours Truly and Affectionately,
hoping when you get to congress |
will get the r. o.,
Yours Once More,
and hoping you will get there,
Ionrs,
PETER LoNGsHoTr.