davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-11

MISS NeENeS- OOClOI, Ill III COuSldul
dread of getting into a trance or some
thing, and being buried alive" Dr. Pylls
Nonsense! You take what | prescribe,
and drive such foolish notions out of your
head. Such a thing as being buried alive
never happens to my patients. -Bazar.
'Now, who's little boy could this be?
asks the New York Sun. His father is
an actor, and from all accounts the g.
ycar-cld youngster is a chip Of the Old
block III more ways than one.
The child was sent to a kindergarten
the other day, and that evening he was
returned to his dOting mother with brief
note from the teacher stating that for the
present, at all events, Johnnie would
shine to more advantage in the bosom Of
his family circle than in the seat of learn
ing.
"Johnnie," said the actor. sternly, when
the matter had been laid before him,
what did you do to the teacher that she
was obliged to send you home?'
Il didn't do nOthin'."
Nothing"
"No, father. She gave me siate and
a pencil and told me to sit down and draw
a house for her
"WeI. did you do il? %
''No, father: | couldn't. SO l just said
to her quite politely: What the - do l
know about 4 house,!
At the Burlesque.-Mr. Jack-"Isn't
that skirt-dancer a peach?" Mrs. Jack
Il should say she was more like brown
sugar; very sweet, but coarse; a little off
color, and decidedly unrefned. Life.
Seeker-'YOu know young DR.. Cupper;
doesn't he impress you as being the most
inert, spiritless fellow of your acquaint-
ance?" Sageman-"That depends on his
surroundings; in the dissecting room he
cuts up awfully. Boston Courier
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-11

The largest sewing machine in the
world is said to be in operation in Leeds
It weighs $500 pounds and sews cotton
hpltino
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-11

Switzerland annually exports con-
densed milk valued at over 100000
pounds, nearly, all of which is sent To-
Great Britain
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-11

rs that young man fond of work?"
Il guess so.' answered the man with
a pen behind his ear. when I give him
any he doesn't make the slightest effort
to get rid of it."-Washi,Ig ton Star
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-11

The nails Of the Chinese nobility
sometimes attain the length Of eighteen
inches, being protected by long silver
cases.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-11

Mrs. WiEasIOW;s SOOTHING SYRUP for children
feething, sOftens the gums, reduces ipfaHm ton,
allays pain, wind collie. 25c ! bottle.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-11

Apparently the only way to get the
Maria Teresa into American waters is to
annex Cat island.-Buffalo Express.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-11

TO Cure a Cold in One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. AL
druggists refund the money if it fails to cure
25c. The genuine has /. B. 0. On each tablet
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-11

Small nostrils are said by physiolo
gists to indicate small and weak lungs.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-11
SPINNING WHEEL.
WHAT'S A STAGE KISS, NOW?

WHAT'S A STAGE KISS NOW?
Calye was first in the kissing game;
Dark girl with q cigarette.
She did not care if the SmOldeTing lame
Burned holes in his face or in her fame;
Ger such a thing as q nice, sweet name
Miss Carmen did not fret.
Nethersole entered the kissing bee
With sensuous lips a-curl:
Q girl Of girls in the world was She
Spanish of Spanish in deviltry-
She played Jose in every key,
This kissable kissing girl!
De Lussan sees her cue right now
And never a chance she'll miss;
She SmackS Jose on his manly brow,
She kisses her ToreadOr anyhow.
O the house conducted by Mr.. Grau
Is the House of the Zelie kiss!
Women avaunt! Here's HobsOn true
With him you cannot vie,
He'll kiss De LusSan with lips OF dew,
He'll kiss Calve and Nethersole too;
In fact, he'll kiss the whole sweet crew
And call for fresh supply:
John OKeefe in New York Press'
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-11

Hamlet. has made more money than
any other play in the language.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-11

THE AMATEUR HUNTER.
Ills now the hunter roams the fields
With several barking TOwSers
And finds when night time settles that
He's only bagged his trousers.
Baltimore American
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-11

WANTED-Case Of bad health that RIP 4 Ms vvil2
not benefit. Send 3 cents to Ripans Chemical Co.
New York, for 10 samples and $50 testimonials.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-11

Il wonder what made that girl scream
so when she found she was under the
mistletoe?"
Il don't know" replied Miss Cayenne
Possibly here whereabouts was in dan
ger of being unnoticed. ashington
Star.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-11

The tea cher had been trying to explain
TO the class the instantaneousness or
thought, if the term may be used.
Thought is the quickest thing IN the
world she said.
And turning toward the head OF the
class, continued, clarence Fitzgerald, do
you know of anything quicker than
thought?''
''Yes'm,'' was the quick reply.
The teacher started and squinted over
her glasses.
"What?" she asked.
'Laffin.''
"Why, Clarence Fitzgerald, what do
you mean?''
''Well,' went on the youth. Il know ut
is, fer tn other night my pa asked tn
blessin' at supper an said, ooh, Lord,
bless this meat before Us, when they
wuzn't nothn' on tn table but beans n
tea, n l LATED before | thought. De
trOit Fress Press.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-11

How did this happen?" asked the sur
geon, as he dressed the wound in the
cheek and applied Il soothing pouItice to
the damag ed eye.
Got hit with Il stone," replied the pa
tient.
''Who threw it,"
''M-my wife," was the reluctant an
swer.
Hum! It's the first time I've heard
of woman hitting anything she aimed
al" muttered the surgeon
"She was throwing at the neighbours
hens explained the sufferer. Il was
behind her.'-Tit-Bits.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-11

"A letter travels from Khartoum to
London in seventeen days.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-11

Il always like to write with soft
lead pencil, remarked the young man.
Have you ever given any study" in
Quired the cruelly-thoughtless girl. Ito the
manner in which PERSONS character will
manifest itself III his handwriting?''-
Washington Star.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-11

Mr. Isolate (of Lonelyville)-"Wh is
the matter Amabel? You seem agitated."
Mrs. Isolate (distractedlyJ-"Oh. Fer
dinand! Hurry into the kitchen and calm
the cook! There's an eel coming through
the cold water faucet and she thinks she
has the delirium tremens.'-Puck.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-11

SEAL A. w. Gh EossGg puddle
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-01-11

The Sultan was in the midst of q game
of parchesi, but graciously desisted when
the diplomatic corps entered.
THE Christian powers" announced the
ambassador solemnly, have decided to
actr'
''Ah, indeed exclaimed his majesty,
appearing much Interested .! hope they
will favor Constantinople with early
boOkings!'
The Sultan moreover inquired some
what infinitely into the matter of man
agement confessing Il strong feeling
against the theatrical trust, smaclng, as
it did, of espOtism.-DetrOit Journal.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1899-04-28
TEACH BOYS TO SEW.
There Are Some Arguments in Favor
of This Practice and Others
Strongly Against 1t.

at would be a good thing If every
woman would teach her boys to sew
as well as her girls" saysa woman who
does clever things with her needle and
has great faith in the little steel spear.
81 knew one mother who had a large
family who gave her boys sewing just as
she did her girls, and they enjoyed it
thoroughly. There were times, she
said, when the boys had to be in the
house, and then they didn't know what
to do with themselves. So they took up
fancy work, just as the girls did, and
the mother and all her family were fire.
quently engaged in the same kind Of
work. And the boys were always as in
terested as the rest.
81 was at the house one time, since
the boys have grown up, and one Of
them, who was dressed for the evening
discovered that a button was off his
coat. Shall 1 sew it on for you" I
asked. Thank you,' he answered, but
1 think perhaps can do it more quick
ly myself And he certainly did, for
his eyes were better than mine. Eff
Terminate? Not at all. The boys were
only capable, and it saves them great
deal of trouble to be able to sew on a
button neatly without having to walt
for some one else to do it..
YES" said the man, "but those fell
lows are going to be much more partic-
ular about what their wives can do, and
If thew are not also caDable what Is
going to happen?"
No one answered that query, for
there are so many queer combinations
in domestic life-and those who would
naturally be supposed to be happy are
unhappy, and vice versa-that no one
could tell what would happen if the
young man who could sew on his but
tons should marry ayoung woman who
could not.-N. Y. Times.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1899-04-28
HOW TO WEAR SHOES.
Hut Few Know How to Get the Most
Service and Comfort Out of
Their FoOtgcar.

Considerable difference will be found
in the wearing qualities of two pairs
Of shoes of the same quality and make
worn by different persons. No shoes
worn continuously in the house and in
doors will give as much wear as pair
of shoes worn one day and then left to
rest a day. 1t saves money to wear
cheap house shoes within doors and let
the shoes worn outdoors rest and get
back into shape while the owner is
within doors. Keep an old pair of shoes
to wear under india-rubbers. The per-
SEPARATION of the feet which india-rubber
excites ruins good leather. Select strong
calfskin, and keep it well oiled in win
ter for outdoor shoes. Low shoes are
better for house wear, because they
give the foot a chance to be ventilated
as the hand is. In spite of its con-
tinual exposure, the hand is not atflict-
ed as the foot so often is with corns,
callous places and chilblains. This is
because it is continually exposed to the
air. Even when kid gloves are worn
they do not compress the hand so much
as the average boot does the foot, and
they are not worn continually as boot
is.-N. Y. Tribune.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1899-04-28

the Confederacy. At first it seemed a
difficult undertaking. a great monu-
lnent to Jefferson Davis was already
awaiting the raising of funds for its
construction, while proposed monu-
ment to the women of the south had
been temporarily abandoned. But the
women sent out a circular to confed-
crate organizations, suggesting that
they contribute as they saw fit to this
work of love, and contributions soon
came pouring in.
The Winnie Davis monument commit
tee soon had $1,000 in hand, and de-
signs for a monument to cost that
amount were asked for. Many were
submitted, but the New York camp of
Confederate Veterans desired particu-
larly design by Zolney, a New York
sculptor. This was an angel in Italian
marble, the price of which was $4,000.
The sculptor's friendship for the Da-
Wis family caused him to reduce the
amount to $3.50, which included the
81 900 raised by the women and $3.50
given by the New York veterans.
ZOlneyS design was accepted as soon
as Mrs. Davis expressed her wish for
it. The sculptor is now at work on a
bronze statue of Jefferson Davis, to
be placed at his grave in Hollywood,
and is also designing the Winnie Davis
memorial tablet of bronze, to be placed
in ST. Pauls Episcopal church, in
which Mr.. Davis received the news of
the virtual fall of Richmond.
1t is the purpose to unveil the Inonu-
ments and memorial at the annual
meeting of the Daughters of the Con-
federacy next fall. The design for the
Winnie Davis monument is seated
angel. 1t will be carved in Italian mar
BILE and mounted on a hammered gran
lite pedestal with a coping in front. The
statue measures little more than
seven feet. The granite pedestal is IN
feet high, 31s feet wide and 21a feet
deep. The coping is six feet long, two
feet wide and fifteen inches high
Richmond (Va.) Letter.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1899-04-28
MIsDIRECTED LETTERS.
Most of Them Pass Through the Hands
of the "BIind Reader" of the
Dead Letter Office.

Among the hundreds of women in
the government office in Washington
some stand preeminent in their line
of work.
Mrs. Patti Lyle Collins, the expert at
the dead letter office, is perhaps the
best all-around woman In office.
In the first place nature gave her
brave equipment add to this a liberal
education, great linguistic ability, wide
knowledge and years of experience, and
YOU have before you the little southern
woman who is called the blind reader
of The dead letter office.
This is because there is nothing writ
ten SO blindly, but she is able to de-
cipher il.
The mail matter which finds its way
10 the dead letter Office is of several
kinds, but the only kind that comes
into Mrs Collins hands is that which
comes under the general head of "mis-
directed"
This means letters which are wrongly
addressed or those which bear an illegi-
BILE direction.
1t is curious to note that there were
received during last year 29,09s letters
which bore no address whatever. The
general appearance of these envelopes,
as we'll as the nature of the contents.
indicates that by far the greater por-
ton of these errors of omission were
not made by casual and infrequent
users of the mails, but were the result
of haste and want of elaboration by
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1899-04-28
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

st. Petersburg has the largest bronze
STATUE in existence-that of Peter the
Great, which weighs 1000 tons.
A good Arabian horse will canter in
the desert for "a hours in summer and
4S hours in winter without drinking.
The assessed valuation of Boston is
$1,036, 690,57S, and the value of the prop
erty exempt from taxation is S172, $780,
CTS.
The depth of water affects the speed
of steamers very considerably, the YES
sells moving more slowly in shallow
than in deep water.
Cider has been discovered by French
Investigator to be fatal to the typhoid
fever bacillus. 1t is the malic acid, he
believes, that the bacillus cannot digest.
A telephone girl in greensboro, KY,
was recently cowhided by an enraged
patron, who charged her with having
disclosed an important conversation she
had overheard over the wire.
A rare experience is that of Miss
Mary Spooner, of Acushnet, Mass. She
has lived in three different towns with
out changing her residence. A change
of the boundary lines removed her
dwelling from New Bedford to Fair
haven, and then to Acushnet. Her age
is 105 years.
A malady puzzling to the doctors
Frustrated William Dickerson, of Ches-
ter, Pa. After three days suffering he
lay helpless on a lounge, when in a
coughing fit he elected lizard from
his mouth. 1t is thought that while
drinking from a spring he took the rep
tile into his stomach.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1899-04-28
How to Cook Kidneys.

In cooking kidneys it must be re-
membered that they should be cooked a
great deal or very little, the golden
mean in this case being out of the ques-
ton. Kidneys are like eggs. Cooked
beyond q certain point the albumen and
fibrine hardens, and then long, slow
cooking is imperative to bring them
back to digestibility. To prepare a
lamb kidney saute in the chatting dish,
put two tablespoonful of butter in the
outlet pan. When hot add a small
onion minced fine, and cook for mo-
ment or two, taking care that it does
not blacben. Then add the kidney cut
in thin slices. Cook five minutes, turn
ing often. When Drowned add one
tablespoonful mushroom catsup and
either one tablespoonful of stock or one
dessertspoonful fluid beef dissolved in
little cream, and serve at once on hot
plates.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1899-04-28
Why the ned WINS Rough.

Archbishop Temple, of England, on
one occasion stayed all night at the
residence of clergyman whose wife
was absent. On leaving, the host po-
litely expressed the hope that when
next his lordship honored the house
Mrs. Temple would accompany him.
mo, thanks" said the archbishop,
shortly. Mrs. Temple doesn't like to
rough it," The clergyman's feelings
were deeply hart and he complained to
his wife on her return. Surely, you
didn't put the bishop in the pink bed
room ~ she cried, The clergyman adj
mitted that he did. "Oh, then, that's
it! l put all the silver in the bed. No
wonder he called it rough!"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1899-04-28
One Minute Cough Cure, cures
That Is what 1t was made for.
THE DREADED CONSUMPTION.
T. A. SLOCUM, M. c., THE GREAT CHEMIST
AND SCIENTIST. WILL SEND FREE, TO
THE AFFLICTED, THREE BOTTLES
OF HIS NEWLY DiSCOvEREDREM-
EDIES TO YOU'RE CONSUMPTION
EUIGS TOCURE CUNSUMPT ION
AND ACLLUNGT ROUBIES.


EDIES TO CURE CONSUMPTION
AND ALL LUNG TROUBLES.
Nothing could be fairer, more philan-
thropic or carry more Joy to the afflicted,
than the offer of T. A. Slocum, NJ c., of
IS3 Pearl street, New York City.
Confident that he has discovered an alb
solute cure for consumption and all pull,
monary complaints, and to make its great
merits known, he will send, free, three
bottles of medicine. to any reader of The
Midland Journal who is suffering from
chest, bronchial, throat and lung troubles
or consumption.
Already this new scientific course of
medicine" has permanently cured thou
sands of apparently hopeless cases.
The Doctor considers it his religious
duty-a duty which he owes to humanity
to donate his infallible cure.
Offered freely, is enough to commend it,
and more so is the perfect confidence of
the great chemist making the proposition
He has proved the dreaded consumption
to be durable disease beyond any doubt
There will be no mistake in sending
the mistake will be in overlooking the
generous invitation. He has on file in his
American and European laboratories ties,
timonials of experience from those cured,
in all parts of the world
Don't delay until it is too late Address
7. A. Slocum M. C., oS Pine street, New
York. and when writing the Doctor, please
give express and post Office address, and
mention reading this article in The Mid
land Journal.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1899-04-28
NEW CHIFFON YOKE.
A Back View of the Fancy Little Waist
Decoration Now in Such
Popular Favor.

"Yokes will never go out of fashion"
said leading New York modiste with
remarkable certainty to your CORE
spondent a few days ago, they are too
serviceable, and serviceable things are
always stylish. Often they are changed.
being made fancier or palmer, as fash
ion dictates, but useful article is al
ways the mode"
Fashion dictates" that yoles shall
be very elaborate this year and one sees
them on the fancy articles counter got
ten up in exquisite design.
Very dainty colorings are seen in
these yolles and they are made out of
chiffon trimmed with narrow ribbon
velvet. Where one does not care to
have more than one yoke, however, it is
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1899-04-28
RAGPICKER HELPERS.
New Waste Paper Boxes Placed About
the City Tighten His
LabOrA.

The day of the lowly ragpicker has
come at last. For years he has been
despised and spat upon, fguratively, at
least. His calling has been synony-
nous with all that is low and despica BILE
and unworthy. He has been used as
bugaboo to brighten unruly babies.
He has had bricks and snowballs thrown
at him by bad boys, and in short he has
been getting the worst of it all around
for these many years
Now it is his turn, and he has every
body working for him. Unconscously
perhaps, but none the less faithfully,
thousands of reputable citizens have
been acting as first assistant rag and
paper collectors, and if the unwashed
gentleman with the big sack on his
shoulders does not appreciate it, he
should. All this came about through
the introduction on downtown corners
of the "clean the city" boxes, intowhich
stray pieces of paper, newspapers that
have been read and other fotsam of
the street are thrust by the careful cit
liens who want clean city.
III the course OF Gay IneSe Mandy
boxes accumulate whole lot of waste
paper, and that is where the festive
rag picker gets in his work. Every
Gay he makes the rounds and cleans
outofthe boxes the papers which every
body else has been carefully gather
ing in convenient places for him. The
papers in these for the most part are
clean and dry and far more acceptable
than those he was accustomed to CLEAN
from the cutters and alleys. These lat
ter he now passes scornfully by as he
strides from one box TO another and
gathers in what the merchant, the
banker and the shopgirl have been
slowing away for him all day long
Chicago Chronicle.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1899-04-28

persons more or less completely alb
sorbed in business.
Money orders, checks and bank notes
are frequently mailed without the
sender's name and address within, and
in an envelope with no address what
ever. After making every effort to dis
cover the owners of these, the United
States treasury finds itself the richer
annually by $4,000 from this source.
Letters bearing imperfect directions
come directly to Mrs. Collins, who has
become SO expert in her work that
there is seldom anything too "blind'
for her to read. When it is remembered
how many foreigners who are totally
unaccustomed to the language write
in it, and how many illiterate who are
able to do little more than tc make
their mark, use the mails, one is not
surprised at the great number of let
tiers which come into this department.
But these are not the worst people
Mrs. Collins has to deal with. The
writer of the ultra fashionable hand
gives her, as a rule, more trouble than
the illiterate or the foreigner.-St.
Louis Republic.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1899-04-28
Women ON Artists. Juries.

Nine. Demont Breton received 234
votes at the election of the painters
jury for the Champs Elysee salon, be-
ing the first woman honored with a
nomination. She was not elected, the
persons chosen being NM. Bonnat, Cor
mon, ]. p. Laurens, Detaille, Henner,
Jules Lefebvre, Benjamin Constant,
Bouguereau, Harpignies and Gerome.
In 1897 the sculptors not only NOM
mated but elected woman, Nine. Leon
Bertaux.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1899-04-28
THE BACK VIEW OF A YOKE.

advisable to have it of white and black.
These two colors are becoming to any
the most brilliant or sober colors. They
have rather peculiar quality of modi-
flying the one and bringing out the
other.
A pretty white yoke is one OVERLAND
with narrow bands of cream insertion
on either side of which are tiny bands
of black velvet ribbon. The yoke is
square and finished around the edge
with double frill of chiffon sewed I'M
der heading of velvet.
The collar is high and covered with
shirred chiffon.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1899-04-28

Little. neglected scratches and wounds
frequently result in blood poisoning
Better heal them quickly with DeWitts
Witch Hazel Salve, thoroughly anti
septic application with record of always
curing piles, old ulcers, sores, cuts,
wounds and skin diseases. Eli T.
Reynolds.