The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-02-20
7 opic5 81
The T own

is cook who has a habit of whistling
whenever the waiter gives him an or
der. The boarders enjoy the music of
the warbler, and those who have eaten
at the house for any length of time
have translated the musical code so
that now they know the nature of the
order as soon as it is given. although
it is not heard to issue from the healthy
lungs of the waiter.
Patient study and observation have
taught them that each and every order
calls forth a different tune For in
stance, If the boarder orders a sirlcin
steak, the cook, as soon as he receives
it, whistles ION the Banks of the
Wabash" Ham and eggs call for the
Washington Post" fried oysters Life
is a clue for yankee Doodle" roast
beef Just One Girl liver and onions
"All Coons Look Alike to Me- fish
changes the tune to columbian cheese
and beer I'VE Went Go Home Until
Morning" corned beef and cabbage
Down in Coal Mine hotcakes
"Grandfather's Clock" midnight sup
per OF fried chicken. oysters. truffies.
lmberger, celery and wine II Wonder
Why
Yesterday afternoon a man walked
| into the office of the Standard He was
as warm as a smelterman on duty. He
stepped up to the counter, and, laying
a big A bulldog on it. said to the clerk.
whose hair stood erect:
DO you see that gun? You see it.
DO you?"
"All of it, every foot of it," replied
the clerk, who was trying to forget his
past.
Il bought that gun for purpose, and
by the crackety jumped up gee whilli-
kers, I'm going to bring somebody to
time. see if I DON'T" Numbered the
irata visitor, while the clerk tried to
conceal himself behind the ink WELL
Il guess-pardon me, l believe-think
you are in the wrong place. The police
street, please sir Maybe l can be of
some assistance to you, sir. Just ex-
plain
Il don't know about that" broke in
the man with the terrible weapon.
I'm going to fix the sneaking. thiev-
ing son of a whipper snapper and that
pretty, awful quick .....
The clerk rushed past the Infatuated
man and had reached the key hole in
the door and was trying to crawl out
through it, when the visitor turned
around and assured him that he was
not the man whose scalp he wanted.
II just wanted to explain in the pres
ence of a competent witness that I'm
heeled for the chean rascal who has
been stealing my Standard from my
door. I'm positive that you deliver it
all right, but some measley miser steals
it about three times a week and every
Sunday morning. | just want to put
you next SO that if you hear anything
drop. just come down to my house and
you'll learn the facts. That's ALL
.at Cilvo,, tho LITTLE hnvc
won't allow themselves to think that
warm weather is here on visit There
are two large ice ponds there which af-
ford the finest kind of skating when the
Thermometer orders that kind of wealth
er. Yesterday two or three inches of
water covered the ice on the ponds.
With skates strapped to gum boots
about a dozen lads enjoyed the novel
pleasure of wading and skating at the
same time. And there has not been
case of serious illness among children
in Silver Bow this winter.
The proposition to establish the state
fair in Butte is favorably looked upon
by business men and other citizens
here. 1t is argued that it would prove
beneficial to the entire state as we'll as
Butte. Said a gentleman yesterday:
Butte, Of course. is thoroughly
equipped to take the initiative in
move of such vast Importance. In the
very nature of things it would be diff
cult to advance and sustain an argu-
ment against the proposition. Montana
must sooner CT later foster an institu-
ton of this character, and why not now
take the step? The exhibits which
would necessarily be made would alone
draw thousands of visitors from other
states. I would like to see every feat
ure proposed in the articles of incorpo-
tow rl,f ,tr,r,,, 4
There is a married man in Butte
whose authority is greater at his place
of business than it is at home. where
he has always INDUCED his pretty wife
in all of her whims and fancies. Re-
Gently he suggested that they repaper
and paint the house so as to keep pace
with the seasons.
mo, John, I'm not going to spend a
cent on improvements this year. You
know that I am going to Spokane on a
visit this summer and I will want a
few dollars
John wanted his wife to make the
trip, but he figured it that she could go
and not distress the cash account even
after the house had been renovated.
He argued in vain.
If We paper the house l won't visit
mother, there, now
John sat in his Office and thought. It
came to him. He spirited the house cat
away. His wife missed the cat and
feared that it was dead, possibly poi
soned. John thought it was noisoned.
Days passed. One night John went
home, carrying several bits Of Timber
ger cheese. He spread the odoriferous
substance over various parts of the
house and retired
John. smell queer kind of a smell,
don't you?'
Yes. dear. what can it be? That
cat! I'll bet it crawled in between the
partitions and died"
'Oh, my, John it did, sure as fate.
Kitty was complaining when last saw
it, Whew. that's it. We must search
the premises in the morning."
John slept scundly and peacefully
that night just like a little boy who
has just won all of his rivals mar
bleS.
The search failed to find the cat. but
it developed more smell. Consultations
We're held. Carbolic acid didn't over
come the awfulncss of the atmosphere.
Johns wife wept John went out to the
wOOdshed to smile.
The house was thoroughly renovat-
p6-Do iDte6 in side and pnt and ,o,,ara1