Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1899-08-03
ABILENE WEEKLY REFLECTOR ABILENE KANSAS AUGUST s9-TE PAGES
The Absent Sunday School Boy,
Wtirpr II IIro
WHERE IS EE7

The following address was deliver
ed by Hon. J. H. Atwood, the well
known Leavenworth orator, at . re-
cent church dinner:
In rising to respond to this toast
and in this presence, ! feel like saying
with an Irish friend who, under SINH.
lar circumstances, exclaimed: II am
not much Of speech maker, but for
honesty, decency, chastity and virtue
the devil himself couldn't beat me,
and while am fully aware that my
tendencies toward evil unfit me for
my present surroundings, my only
justification is that in spite Of them
all can seriously contend that there
is at least one contained in the econo-
my Of the universe who cannot excel
me in the virtues, even II that one is
but the gentleman in black.
When your worthy pastor, being
guided by his good nature rather than
his good Judgment, bids me to your
feast, | felt as have felt when a
prize witness reversed the evidential
shield and left me hopelessly daSed;
and when he asked me to repond to
the sentiment, 1.-THE absent Sunday
School boy, where is heP" the only
answer to that rather puzzling query
that could think Of was, that unless
he had improved since |. used to
know him, he had probably gone
a.fshin'; and, do you know that land
| trust you will not deem me ire
deemably wicked for saying ~ l find
it very hard to condemn the piscator-
ial youth when I think Of the Sunday
school that l used to attend, which is
at once away back in Massachusetts,
and away back in the past
In my youthful day and locus, the
Sunday school was sort Of adden.
dunn to the morning service; and to
insure our attendance on the former
we we're dragged willy-nilly to the
latter, where we were compelled to
listen to ponderous texts and still
moreoponderous sermons. Too &C.
tive to sleep, blessing not denied to
many Of our elders, we could only
twist, squirm, scratch and be miser-
able. Did you ever notice when you
were expected to be especially quiet,
in how many places you would itch
at onceP Surreptitiously at least
you must scratch and do so only to
find that some other place was the
place you should have scratched; and
then the Sunday boots-for in those
days and cline, boots with good long
legs and most assertive squeak were
the mode; they were Of course new,
and accordingly stiff and uncomfort-
able; discomfort that could be borne
when the mind was occupied, but oh!
how hard to be endured when digest
able food for thought was lacking.
Old parson Nightingale, heaven rest
him, was a trihe deaf, with a voice
pitched key or two too high for
euphony and with style that one
would ever have accused Of being
Addisonian. My friends, look upon
my youthful churchly experiences
with fearful self pity. But though
the parson was in some things slight
ly deficient, he never permitted any
one to complain Of the length Of his
sermons; as the "wounded snake
dragged his slow length along" so
crept his two hours and half OF dis
course. The parson was conscien-
tious man; he was determined that
every one should have his moneys
worth; and that was right and proper
for those who had paid, but how
about the Sunday School boy who
had not paid' Being an honest lad,
he felt that he was getting more than
he was entitled to and perhaps it was
to avoid being obliged to take what
he had not paid for, that caused him
sometimes to give bis parents the