River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-08-31
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, Jones' Surprise Party !
8 Mrs. Jones Gained Glorious
y Victory
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wv genuine diplomat you'll always
find her in the excelsior class. 1t is the
privilege of her sex to go TO extremes
and when she sets out to attain an end
she holds the possibility of death
much more lightly than she does that
of defeat.
This charming little lady, who would
prefer to be called Mrs. Jones under
the circumstances, lives within a block
of Woodward avenue in one of the best
sections of the city. She has been
married for eight years, and during
seven years, eleven months and three
weeks of that time there was one great
drawback to her happiness. 1t is read
lily figured from this statement that
her release came but one short week
ago.
Jones must be classified as a good
fellow. In few years more he is liza
BILE to be called "Old Suayity," "Old
Smoothology," or by some other mod
ern designation equally expressive and
irreverent. His voice has native note
of cordiality and is unctuous. His
laugh is a contagion, his handshake
suggests wise and he at once impresses
one with a desire to do something
thoughtful and agreeable. The i'm
preston is not misleading. and one of
Jones' favorite ways of showing his
generosity was to invite people home
to dinner. Where the average friendly
man would say TO Take cigar" or
"Come in and have something" Jones
would smile his genial smile, laugh his
happy laugh and insist that you go up
and have dinner with him.
There is a commendable feature in
such display of hospitality, but what
was to be condemned in Jones was the
fact that he never told his wife of these
sudden invasions. She repeatedly asked
this consideration, but Jones is a busy
man and forgot. He would promise
volubly and kiss his wife by way of
acknowledging his shortening, but
three days would not pass before he
would surprise the patient little ma
iron by suddenly landing in with from
one to four men for dinner. He always
told them in his hearty way that they
would have to take pot luck, but no
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is going to set out stingy little spread
for her husbands friends. She would
suffer from it as a reflection bordering
upon the shame of being niggardly and
improvident. So she hustled, planned,
stirred the maid to prodigies of eXer-
ton and gained temporary accommo-
dation from the larders of her imme-
date neighbors. Frequently il was a
close shave, but never did Mrs. Jones
feel that her guests had been misused
or that her dinners were not at least
passable.
Her mother frequently urged that
she set these predatory birds of passage
down to short rations and let them go
away hungry for a few successive
times. '%rhat1I bring Jones to his
senses" declared the elder lady. HE
needs a lesson. and that's the way to
give il to him. I'll show him. Do you
expect to go through life feeding a lot
of strangers on short notice? The I'M
certainty in itself is torture. Have some
spunk about you and give Jones such a
setback that he'll give you due notice
from nov on. | would.
But that is not the way of young
wives. Mrs. Jones even rebuked her
grim mother for such advice, and things
moved along in the same uneven
groove. But last Sunday there came
crisis. "Saw Jones down town." said
friend Of the family as he was pass
ing. Lot of fellows he used to know
in the east are here with the Christian
Endeavorers. They are having a pic
mic talking over old times, and ] heard
him invite half dozen or so OF them up
to dinner. Did he send you word -
80, we know they're coming" she
answered Loyalty, though she had just
heard of 1t. and the finest expert could
not have detected that her smile was
counterfeit. She was in the kitchen
before her informant had gone block.
She impaired her enthusiasm to the
girl and the whole culinary department
ratified with activity. 1t was hot, but
a full head of gas was turned on in
the big range and there was cooking
utensil in commission wherever there
was room for one. Tribute was exaeted
from all the people who were in reach,
baskets and brown paper being used
in the delivery of plumber. Two or
three women of the neighborhood were
enlisted as assistants. and the hilarity
maintained through such a stress of
work was something to he wondered at
\ little later four young girls in wash"
dresses and becoming aprons put in an
appearance and one of the women de-
voted her entire time drilling these
young recruits to wait on the table
without staggering.
Jones and his friends arrived With the
noise of team of horses gathering
over the front porch. "Whewr' he be-
gan, as soon as he had introduced his
wife and could get her by herself.
'what's the matter here2 It smells
like a pickle factory with half dozen
imported odors thrown in. Its some
thing horrible. An oil refinery and a
tannery in the neighborhood would be
a decided Improvement. Anybody been
burning junk or garbage? What in
creation is it?'
"0h, why didn't you tell me. dear,
that you would bring company to din