The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-02-09
The Fcvcr'S Fifth Man
BY W. L. Comfort

Il 1OGARTY was the heaviest and most
depraved man in the troop. More
over, he had the reddest face I ever
saw with one exceptional man con-
nected with political adjustments back
in my native burg. Maybe I wrong
Fogarty. It depends upon the point of
view from which one scans depravity.
Briefly, his faults were these:
He terrorized recruits. Following
each pay day, he 1irted with serpentine
combinations until broke. He was ut
terly devoid of reverence or moral con-
ception. He cursed necessarily, exc
cutting weird fourishes and introduce
ing innoyations of the most nerve
shriveling nature. Scientists would
have. called him study of degeneracy.
Cavalrymen deemed him only super
ficially depraved because he threw
away money and loved his horse. Mint
Julep was the horses name.
Now was recruit and in Fogarty's
squad. No man or boy is a rational be-
ing during his first month in the caval-
ry service. Veterans say their marked
success in life is due to it-or their
failure. A recruit has much to learn,
but first of all he must overcome the
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS ex-
preston his face is prone to assume.
He learns that. it is improbable to ex-
patiate upon the rich appointments of
his residence far away, and upon the
princely salary he threw up. He learns
to grin while his trousers are sticking
to his legs, because they are chafed and
bloody from bareback riding in the
bull-ring. He learns that the United
States commissariat does not supply
pie, silken hose or scented pillows. He
learns the peculiar devilishness of
southern army camps in sultry wealth
er. He learns to eat flies and other
strange things-and to eat them in
vicious sunshine. He learns what q ter
Tor the rainy season is for one who
can't get in out of it for several reasons.
He learns to chew holes in his tongue
when superior officer calls him dis
grace to his country and other express
sive things. He learns how insignificant
it is possible for human atom to be.
He learns to laugh at the whole bust
ness and write home how strong and
happy he is.
Some recruits never get rational.
They take things seriously. They
mutter: God help me-" and bad things
about wars and armies.
I enlisted about the time poems on
the Maine became unpopular. Fogarty
applied a system of ghouish torture to
make me miserable. concluded that
he was cunningly-constructed object
packed in ice. What concluded about
army life in general kept to myself,
thereby scoring hit.
One evening I won foot race and
found myself a friend of Fogarty's.
Old soldiers are fond of physical dem
onstrations. He was in my set of tours
on troop drill the next morning. Nat
urally, my horse had it in for me, be-
cause it was only tilty, trembly re-
cruit, and the bride did not fit. Sew
eral officers had already directed stere-
otyped call-downs at me. The troop
halted for a moment while horsemen
formed on our right. We stood at at
tention-very properly-al except Fo-
garty. To my bewilderment he slipped
down from his mount, deftly and quick
ly frightened my bride on both sides
of the curb and stepped over his horse
again, whispering:
"Give me chew tobacco, Kid"
He had risked reprimand to do me a
good turn, and the ice packing which I
pictured about his heart oozed out of
my mind forever.
We were on the skirmish line to-
gether, crawling up the drenched hill
in front of santiag', Fogarty and I.
We heard the droning death whistle
which is thrown from Mauser barrels,
and saw the punctures which the whis-
Ting things made in roots and sand and
in soldiers: We turned our faces up
when it rained, and gaped like lizards
do. We tried to cough out, the sand
which caked In our threats. We
propped up our heads with empty can
teens when neck muscles collapsed. We
burned our hands on the barrels of our
own carbines. Cartridge belts burned
our waists. We did not mind any of
these things.
We knew nothing-felt nothing but
the heat. 1t was the sunshine that we
cursed at husl1ily-the terrible sun of
Cuba. It put throbbing weight in our
heads. It made us laugh. 1t bound our
limbs. It mixed the sitting smoke of
powder, with the steaming, choking
stencil of the ground. That stencil,
which the sun made, is fever. It filled
.qur stomachs, our lungs and our brains,
When the command Rest" was heard
along the firing line, used Fogarty's
mess plate to. pile up the sand in front
of me. Mine was thrown away. And
when it was night I smoked half OF
Fogarty's last pipeful, and after that
rolled over on to half of Fogarty blan.
ket. Mine was thrown away.
THANK God, we didn't get punctured
this day." muttered. It was night and
silent about. The Red Cross men were
busy. s5 III. /;
"i'm too tired to give care, Kid
said Fogarty. .,..s &: h.
A couple Of days later I awoke in the
morning feeling stiff and tired. We
j