Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1899-11-10

lave the dead walk? Mcl.Mbberty-Av
coorse! Dyes s'pose they can afford to
lie ro.din' ahl the to~.lne:-Judge.
My daughters music" sighed the
mother, has been II great expense"
"lndeea?' returned the guest; some
neishbor sted you, l slppose:'-l;os-
ton Traveller.
Uncle Boutwell,. frankie. what are
you going TO do this vacation: frankie
Last year l had humps and chicken
poX. This year ! don't know; what I'm
going to do.-Bazar.
Little Clarencc-pa, money talks.
doesn't it? Mr.. Callyiers-I guess so,
my sol. Little Clarence-Well. then.
pa, gimme u penny. SOS 1 can hear it
whisper to me Il little.-punch.
IN splendid stroke. Did you follow
the ball. caddie:" mo, sir. but | think
that gentleman with the red coat can
tell you where it struck. L see him
feeling of his head."-Tit-B Bits.
First Sailor-So you lost YOU wife
last month? Wasn't it II terrible blow:
Second Sailor-lt wor "a regular torna-
do. She cleaned out everything in the
house before she eloped.-JuLgc.
Freddie (agc six) was seated in IL
BARRIERS chair. We'll. my little man,"
said the barber. "how would you like
your hair cut:" Like fathers, with
II round hole at the top."-Woman's
journal.
"Do you dahnce on your toes, Miss
Quickwit?" Never. MIR. Clumsry.
Other people do that for me-" And
he didn't krow just what she meant
until he tried to get another dance
with hcr.-Colorado Springs Gazette.
Tommy's mothes-Why is it. Tommy.
that you are always fighting Will, w lie
%Simpkins: ] never heard of you uuar.
rellng with any OF the other boys in
the neighborhood. Tommy-Ile's TIL
on'y one ! kin .ck.'-lIdianapolis State
Journal.
Tomwell-lt's Il wise man who knows
When lc is; we'll off. rage-Yes: Tom.
wc~ll-Jackuld told mo that everybody
was talking about my new book. Page
And what then: To:nwell-l w:ls
foolish enough to ask what they said
Boston Transcript.
"Of oursc Nor:lll. you know that
marriage is Il very serious thing" said
Mrs. rockingham to her cook. who had
told her that she was about to set u,
housekeeping for herself. Yes. m. l
1.,a,,- fl,rf ~ ,.nt,1fn.l Nn,..1A. s.I,,rf ~ i.,'.
half SO serious as bci:s siagle.'-HaZar.
.Iudge-Did you steal the hog. or did
you not? Prisoner-No. Judge. | did
not: hut if yo' kind oh thinks Use LYNN
auout it. and am gwine to give me six
months for LYNN, l'l.sooacr lie about it
and say I did steal de hog. and get Two
months for ste:llin' de hog didn't
s;o,e:-Puck.
II would like to know." said the graft
old father to tie young man who n:.d
been calling with considerable fire.
uneicy. whether YOU are going 10
marry my daurhtcr?." $50 would H.
answered the ditlident young man.
would sou mind asking hcr:"-Chi-
cago Evening Post.
That's the best ! can do for you.'
said the theatrical manager. "You'vc
been Idle all season. 50 far: now. will
you stay idle the rest of TIA. season. oil
take this small part:' 'l'll take it,
said Lowe ComerGy: ''in this case Il
small role is better than :: whole loaf
Catholic Standard and Times.
First American corresp 9naent-l have
Just wired home for ten thousand dol
lars. Second American correspondent
What do you want of such Il: sum us
that! First American correspondent
l Only wanted one hundred dollars. .pu,
WAS afraid if l asked for that it would
be censored down to one dollar.-Chica,
go Tribune.
Guest-You charge more for Il porter
F, house steak than you used to. Why is
1T: Proprietor of rc%staurant-l have
| to pay more for 1t. The price of beef
I has gone up. Gucst-rhc steak i:
| smaller than it used to be. too. Pro
! rietnr of rpstiurant-TLat. of course
| is o. account of the scarcity of beef
Chicago Tribune.
To-day l am assailed fer buying /:
seat in tie Unit, d States Senate quotl
the ricl, MAJ bitterly. yesterday
was assaulted fer buying Il titled son-in
law! The day before yesterday l wa.
assaulted for buying Il family crest. II
l had Kept my money and bought moth
/ ing. l should still be assaulted. l dare
say.-Ietrnit Journal,
III you can help it," said the girl ii
Mlur. never let any u buy your littl,
brother Il drama" why not.' ..Well
just as Lieutenant Brown seemed to b.
reaching the point of proposing las
night" explained the girl in blue, "Wil
lie. who was in tile next room. sounded
taps OH his drum. and the lieutenan
took j; as 3: hin..'-Chicaso Post.
a s.:l os s..tcsn thinks it is TIL
proper t!.iaT;: To get shocked IL he
l eurti,Ni. S:tS Ar A. %s,n r,.N,,< ,,n,,,l, ,,,t<l