The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1899-05-17
All Sorts or Paragraphs.

All Sorts OF Paragraphs.
- The gentle quiver in a girls voice
often holds her beau.
But few men object to being
treated by physicians-at bar.
= Padlocks aud chains are not
classed as good securities for loans.
Many man is compelled to take
married life according to directions.
The great trouble with the worlds
idols is that they are all more OF less
cracked.
= Probably Lots wife passed some
other woman and turned to see what
she had on.
Before the discovery Of One Minute
Cough Cure, ministers were greatly
disturbed by coughing congregations.
No excuse for it now. Evans Phar-
macy.
= The lower house Of the Tennessee
legislature increased the appropria-
tion for pensions for Confederate sol
diers from $50, 900 to $1,000 for the
next two years.
For quick remedy and one that is
perfectly safe for children let us re-
commend One Minute Cough Cure. It
is excellent for Group, hoarseness,
tickling in the throat and coughs.
Evans Pharmacy.
Johnny-"Pa, why is it that so
many marriages come of just after
Easter ?'' Pa-"It would be rash
man, my son, who married before his
intended had bought her Easter bon
net.
she-sNo, John, I can only be
a sister to you He-"Not much,
you.wont I've got two sisters now,
and it's all I can do to keep them sup
piled with ncckties.
"Give me liver regulator and | can
regulate the world, said a genius
The druggist handed him a bottle Of
DeWitt's Little Early Risers, the
famous little pills. Eyaps Pharmacy.
= Japan, SO the newsmongers say,
wants new language. one that will
better fit its advancing civilization.
As matter of fact, the japanese Ian
guage as she is spoken does not con
tain a single cuss word.
Happy is the man or woman who
can eat good hearty meal without
suffering afterwards. If you cannot
do it, take Kodol Dyspepsia Cure. It
digests what you eat, and cures all
forms Of Dyspepsia and Indigestion.
ans,Pharmacy.
There said the laudlady as
she handed the kicking boarder a
rather slender piece of real porter
house. II guess you cant say any
thing about that steak being fit to sole
shoes with f'No, said the boarder,
wrapping the meat around his fork, II
should guess it were more fit for shoe-
strings.
If you have a cough, throat irrita-'
tion, weak lungs, pain in the chest,
difficult breathing, Group or hoarse-
ness. let US suggest One Minute Cough
Cure. Always reliable and safe.
Evans Pharmacy.
-"Come here, my lad, said an
attorney TO a boy above nine years
old. TIE bog came, and asked what
case was to be tried next? The lawyer
answered: sIt isa case between the
people and the devil-which do you
think will be most likely to gain the
action?,' II guess it Will be hard
squeeze, said the boy: 'for the peo-
pie have the most money, but the
devil has the most lawyers
j. Sheer, Sedalia. Mo-, conductor
on electric street car line, writes that
his little daughter was very low with
Group, and her life saved after all
physicians had failed, only by using
One Minute Cough Cure. Evans
Pharmacy.
= Prisoner-As my counsel has
failed to put in his appearance. |
would ask your honor to adjourn the
case Judge-Why, you were caught
in the act Of stealing gold watch
from the perssn Of gentleman. Be-
sides, you admitted the charge. | am
curious to know, what, under these
circumstances, your counsel could
have to say iu your defense. Prisoner
SO am |, your honor; and. therefore,
[ should like to hear him.