The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1899-08-13

Jakey sontAelner's 0sllcitous Ignor-
ance Spelled HIS Coed Locks.

Jakey Sontheimerss Solicitors Ignor.
ance Spelled HIS Coed Locks.
r TITLE JAKEY SONTHEINER IL 80
l. good natured. SO innocent. 50 oblig-
ing, SO popular, that one Of his
customers. on entering his place for an
early forenoon beer the other day. was
amazed to fnd him with his lips swollen
70 twice taeir normal size. . badly skim
ned upue and a spacious dsscoloration sur
rounding his left eye. disfguring his US
ually smooth and jolly features.
Holy smoke. Jakeyr' exclaimed the
astcnisAed customer. 'swho pushed you
on the trolley carr
"Somepotty vos net bush me der dvoa-
ley gar. or" replied Jakey. meekly and
sadly: ''but shall swell tollar pooty
gwick gif somspotty II he shall dalEe me
alretty und bush We der dock OF wunst!
bet you. yes."
Jakey?" the customer Inquired further.
'.Sentglubbcd.' responded Jakey con-
temptuousiy "Foofsy dimes via / der
beer sot up. py chimineddy, for der sent
glubber vot can do mo like desc upl
Sure.''
And Jakey felt his swollen lips tender
~. stroked gently his skinned nose. and
gazed in the bar mirror dolefuliy at his
black eye.
y
sisted the customer.
dit you somedinks py der noosbabers
reat sometimes. ladely?" asked Jakey.
..Somedinks oful!'
The customer saad that he had read
about many awful things IN the news
papers lately-murders. disasters and the
like-but that he hadn't seen anything
about what had happened to Jakey.
.You hat not py de noosbAbers some
drinks oful ret alretty of an inseg?" con-
tinued Jakey inQuir1ngiy.
IAN irsect?" said the customer.
"surer' exclaimed Jakey. IAN inseg.
A puck 49,.
kind Of a Dug?'
vot yust a leedle chew you py der I'D
wunst, and MAYBE der nose sometimes
all Offer, vet, so pooty quick you shall
yust svelI und svelP'
"Oh." exclaimed Jakey's friend ''yoa
meant the kissing bug!'
81 bet you swei toilar. yes!" replied
Iakey. sDer keesing puck. You vos some
cinks Of him ret sometimes iadely py der
noosbabersy
all about him. Jakey.
Jakey stepped back a pace or two. gased
"a impressively at his friend as ms
changed countenance would permit. ana
With a comprehensive point with all the
fingers OF one hand At his face. said. slow-
~ and solemnly:
Dose vos him!'
The situation and the conditions were so
comical that Jakey's customer couldn't
contain himself. He laughed long anc LOUD.
ana Jakey waited patiently until he ses
through. -.
the customer, controlling his haarfty AZ
last. THAT you expect TO work that mug
Of on me as the result Or q touch Of the
kissing bug? Why, It's job worthy OF
Jeffries-that face Of yours ISL!
"surer assented Jakey But der KEGS
ing puck vos done It, una bet You doti
Listen! I dell you son1edinkS ! py ger
noosbabers 1 whole rot ~ OF dot keesing
nnck been reating, and ctnk me shall
hedder look q leedle oud. alretty. SO !
All der dime watch me for dot puck. ana
shyear me ven I see him I shall snetch MN
SO quick balt-hetted he VII visn ne vos
ch,mineddy. Listen I dink me westerly
I shall on Afnoo walk q leedie. undt DOT
xou belief? On der shoulter plade or
rouns laty's silk waist up der afnoo waking
NIT young chent yet, was DUCK foos.'
ing! Sure
=. .py chimineddyv say. 4 bet xwei dol
lar dot inseg keesing puck is, unde ne
aIretty. und chew her py der lib! l snah
snetch dot puck SO palthettet as clam,
DE- chimneGdyv
.aInd / sneich dot puck on dot silk waist
shoulder p!ade. und dink me hai . VIA
cat shotten!
CHIMNEY dot young laty she vos
so,Ieel out, dot IoAfer my stick-pin PUCK
a swip.ng iss! -. 49,.
/ fatNf yOadT lib ne00
"po, young chent he crab me und he
"a keesIng puck. Well. I win der kint
az a Messing puck show you vat am!
.Iynd he smesh me on der chaw 30 Cink
ma II NV boots / shall take of VII my
teeth find in my stockings. py cnimneody.
ind den he say. Now let me for his mud
err Was him wunstv and he smesh me on
der NOSE tin I swear I can two blocks away
hear IL, J,nd den he say. 'Yoast one more
Kiss before We bartr und he smesh me on
der eve. uns, a dorchlight PROCESSION on
Afnoo A in der daytime see alretty.
DOT yos der kint Of . keesing puck vot
I ann dot young ehent shpeak himself
oudt, undt init der young sady away No
vented"
Jekey paused m hts recital q moment.
then rave his face the comprehensive point
with his finger and said:
Der ke~sang puck. Dose yos him. NOT
Jakey's friend admitted that the kissing
hug was responsible. and Jakey proceeded
..Idsfenr" said he. "if you shall tain
,o.iar want, yust der man get me vot ma
do, keesing puck und py der noo=oaoers
brlnt him. Pring me here dot man. nnd
7 viz snetch him und snefch him. und Ger
shall for his widow send to come snd
IN. shp.insers shweep ouds. or shall law-
.ula her nit damages like efryding! Dot
vos der KNIT Of 4 keesing puck am. ~
chsmsneddyr'
And Jakay shook his head dsrcely aod
Sc, IN the beer-New York Sun.
rourth Ra~helop - the LAST.