The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-10-29
STORIES FROM THE COMEDY OF LIFE.
On the Street and by Fresde
at

council, to expose Villa1ny and de-
nounce fraud is not exactly the province
OF d criminal lawyer like myself. 1 ad-
nit this to be true. But, gentlemen, no
man can own so much as one of my
thumb nails. If the man or corporation
own piece OF me, they own all Of me.
body and soul. No man ever has done
that yet; no man ever will. The corrupt
lobbyists Of this and all other similar
franchise-g grabbing corporations should
be driven cut of town. They should DO
routed foot, horse and artillery They
should have no foothold in any well-gov
erned moral community. l trust that the
authorities will take steps to prosecute
these scoundrels, and 1 will aid them in
every way possible. Mr.. President. l
vote No on this Infamous ordinance"
Then MIR. Dixby sat down. For min
ute there was breathless silence. Then
cheers and hand-clapping came In great
shape, and a large number Of people
flocked in the vicinity OF Mr.. Dixby's
desk, eager to grasp the hand of the I'm
possible Man.
There Is nothing that would have
given me more pleasure" said the man
with the Vandyke whiskers and opal
stud, than to have attended the recent
yacht races off Sandy Hook"
You are fond of the sea?" inquired
the elderly gentleman who wore a plaid
muff1er and carried a small silk umbrella
with an deliberately carved handle.
II love old Neptune with all his salty
dash and spray Like Byron, I long to
lay my hand upon Old Oceans name.
There is no sport like yacht racing-the
king Of pastimes. True. it requires
princely purse to pursue It, but it IS
worth all 1t costs and more, too
Are you familiar with the technicali;;
ties of practical yacht racing?' asked
the elderly gentleman
Am I? Well, l should say yes. have
owned a number of Yachts myself Not
ninety-fcoters exactly, but smaller sing O.
stickers some in the twenty DOT class.
Take it some glorious October morning,
when old Sol Is just climbing ever the
horizon and spreading his carmine ti7ts
across the silver tips of the white caps,
what can be more Glorious than to
break cut the mainsail, topsail, jib, jib
topsail. baby jib and spinnakcr. c.ew Up
the forecastle douse the binnacie, ciew
mp the cooks galley, put stcpp rs on the
cooks mouth, up with the nludhook be-
lay the lee scuppers, burst the balloon j.b
out Of the bolt ropes, sluSh down tfe
bulkheads. haul the keel in on ok.
lower away the cardboard strake and
pipe all hands to the capstan for cock
tails? What sport SO rare as this?'
You are sure you have not got your
wires crossed on some Of your descrip-
tion?" inquired the elderly gentleman
with no small degree of curiosity.
Not in thousand years" replied the
man with the Vandyke heard. II have
sailed in all waters and in all wealth rs.
Commanded a steamer once, one Of the
compartment or bukhead steamers which
are built so that 1t is Impossible for
them to sink. The first officer and myse
didn't hit 1t off very we'll together from
the start. He seemed to have the ca
that I didn't know enough about ship
to put in tea. But l showed him some
thing. He really wanted to do all the
commanding, and carry on steam and sail
when there was really no necessity for
it. we had time enough 10 get home in.
but he had iTnbibed- the idea that exp .nse
could be saved by quick trips without
taking into account the extra coal used.
We'll, I'll tell you how got even with
him. One day we were caught in a gale
off Gibralter. The first officer was for
ward cussing the men In the vicinity Of
the anchor chains, and 1 was aft. swear
ing at the helmsman for letting the
steamer fall off six points from her
course. Suddenly big Cunnarder
crashed right into US, cutting us S .uace
in two amidships, and going her way just
az if nothing had happened. Ard there
we were. AS I said before the steamer
was one of those compartment affairs and
couldn't sink. Neither end of her. My
first officer was on the front end and [
on the quarter deck. We began to drift
rapidly apart. [ grabbed a spea kiry
trumpet and yelled to the first officer to-
take in sail. slew his end of the craft
around and we would contrive to lash
them together" ---.--s.F
ooh. you sc to the DEVIL he shouted
back. I've got you now just where 1
want you'll have long wanted to SAIL
this ship and now I'm dinged If / don't
sail a piece of her home"
You mean that, do your I cried.
That's what 1 said" he shouted back.
"1'll save this much of her for her own
ers an you may drop down to Davy Jones'
for al [ care Good evening""
well, he had one engine aboard Of his
end of the ship and an extra propeller in
the forward hold. which he managed to
rig up. and with what sail the foremost
and jib gave him he could creep along. I
GCft think he had any. compass, how
ever, but he had sextant, while had
the chronometer and all the charts in nv
cabin. In one respect he had the ad-
vantage of sharp bows while I was
obliged to bump into the head seas with
the square end of the bulkhead We ware
bound for New York. Well, I carried on
all sail possible, and burned ND the
furniture and lot of Oil barre:s when
we ran out Of coal, but let me tell YOU
got into New York three days ahead of
my first officer end when he landed. had
him put into irons and tried for mutiny.'
You cid have quite a thrilling ex-~
perience.' replied the elderly gentleman
Gould have read anything about this
singular affair.""
Guess not; you see I went around TO
all the papers and had it suppressed,
What might your occupation be, II the
question is not intrusive?"
Me, oh, I'm sailing master and navi-
cato: of the Olympia. She is out of COM
mission now in the dry dock and I'm on
shore leave"
1t seems to me that 1 am prepared To
offer superior inducements for an ex
change of personal property. Those who
have the capital to carry over such stock
as l have on hand will find profit in open
ing up correspondence with me. In in
Voicing my property l learn that 1 can
dispose Of one set of golf sticks, as good
as new, one red coat and a wide-striped
sweater one red coat-short, one Tam