Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1899-01-31
4 MODERN PARRHASIUS
By rRASols LYsDE.


after they had removed from New York
10 Brankville, and my eccentric friend
had been showing me an ingeniously
ccntrived electrical apparatus by means
Of which he could, without leaving his
desk, SEQ and bear everything that went
on in the sitting room below. Leonard
ia novelist and his hobby is study
Of life from models.
"what do you think Of that for a
scheme?" he said pridefully. II call 1t
my automatic human analyzer. It's
Helen's idea, and It's q brilliant one.
When want to study any particular
Brankville type. she tolls the subject TO
the house 10 tea fight, or q sewing
circle. or something Of that sort, and l
can sit here and dissect II at my leisure.
Isn't it great.''
"It is the most ingeniously abomi.
nable thing ever heard Of, ventured
10 say.
II don't deny that" replied Leon.
ard. "but necessity knows no law. I've
got TO have models IL have to spend
the last shred Of self respect In the
family buying them. but just now I'm
in fix. I've come 70 chapter In the
new novel where an insight into the
personality Of burglar is sheer ne.
cesity. and I don't know what to do.
Burglars are not kept on draft in
Brankville. and Helen can't help me
with tea party"
"why don't you 60 to Sing Sing and
study them en- bloc?"
"You don't understand That
wouldn't do at all. A burglar ceases to
be burglar when he becomes con-
vict. I've got to have the chemically
pure article for my purpose.
"Then 60 TO the city and investigate
him in his native lair"
Leonard shrugged his shoulders. not
without contempt "Suggestion im't
your forte. I might ~ well study . lot
Of lay figures in y cyclorama with .
policeman for . lecturer. No; I've
got to get q specimen and analyze it,
and I'll be hanged II I know how to do
It,"
laughed. "Why don't you put an
'ad. in the papers: 'wanted.-A bur-
glar to spend q short vacation In &
country house at Brankville.on-the-
Hudson while he II being taken apart
and put together again. Must be an
adept in his profession. Terms lib
eral.
With his usual obtuseness Leonard
did not seem to see anything humorous
In the suggestion. On the contrary, he
appeared to take IL seriously. aud when
his wife called Us to dinner few min
uscs later he said thoughtfully:
"Say, Tom, you're not 60 =anfound-
edly anserine a. you look. Let's 60
down and eat ON that last idea Of
yours"
A week later had telegram from
Leonard.
Come up." he said. "The b prob
lem is solved. and l want you TO inter.
view me"
Invent on the afternoon train. wiring
him that must return ut once. aud he
met me at the station.
GOOD boyr' he said. shaking handa
"Pinched for timer"
nodded.
"All right. You can do it In Is min.
utes and catch the next train to the
city il you have to-"
"Do whats"
"why. interview me- OF course.
Didn't you read my message!"
In view Of the fact that Leonard had
kept up running fight with the inter
viewers ever since the early dawn Of
his little day Of popularity as . novel
ist, the request was quite In keeping
with his other eccentricities, and
knew The Daily Monograph would be
clad 20 have him make his first excep-
tion in its favor.
$50 ahead" said ]. with pencil sus-
pended. "What shall ! say:''
Anything or nothing about my
work, but you must pile 1t on thick
I when il comes TO the personalities
Make me out the biggest fool Of crank
You can invent, and wind up with
paragraph ON my abnormal fear Of los
| ing the million or so dollars my book
has earned. Say that I'm too idiotically
cautious 10 invest il. Say it's reported
that keep il in burglar proof safe In
my bedroom
| "But you don't do anything of the
sort. / protested. Whereupon he cut
in impatiently:
Great heavens man! Do you have
TO be hit with clubl Cant you zee
what I'm driving at? You ought to-
it's your own suggestion, with little
necessary revision. f"
Iwrote the interview while he wait.
ed. and he read it after the down train
bad whistled.
'.That will bring me my burglar II
anything will" he said. returning the
notebook. Don't You think SOP"
"I hope il will, and also hope thai
Mr.. Michael Horrigan, or Hon. Patsy
McGonigle, or whatever his name may
chance TO be, will scare the foolishnesl
ont Of You ON the model question for
twelvemonth."
"Thanks. But II you've any sympathy
20 spare keep it for the other fellow
Pm loaded for bear-grizzly beaI q
that" said Leonard confidently a.
boarded the train. "Goodby. II yor
happen to think Of anything that vii
make il stronger, put 1t in"
For fortnight nothing came Of th'
interview. save q combined attack q
other interviewers upon the outworks o.
Castle Freakley, as Leonard called hi
small architectural folly in Brankville
4 In the meantime. however, the Brank
williams began to wonder why thsil
eccentric genius" did not use the ar'
light which be had had wired into th'
cottage at no little expense. just wh.
he wanted An arc light ut all when th
house was already aglow nightly wit,
incandeseeut globes no one could guess
but by this time Leonard's vagaries
which were many. were beginning to 3
unquestioned.
| But one curious thing which feminin
Brankville remarked was that Helel
Leonard was growing singularly nerv
Gus and distrait, and It concerned iteel
\ vainly to discover the canses The trutl
NJ this unaffer wsa that Leonard ha