Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1899-05-04

in-Iaw during the reminder of his life
The accident had been Immediately
fatal TO both the au.maiaud its master.
No spark Of life liu-.red in either
when they were raised from the spot
II need not dwell upon the extent Of
my despair ana grief 1t is only uaces-
sary 10 say thar tAa sH0ck precipitatcd
an event which ~aS Haar at hand.
and within twvuTE-t5-.c hours | passed
from one of the hapupiest, one of the
most joyous and hopeful young Great
ureS upon whom ths sun or love and
prosperity ever shown into a state Of
wrctched and desperate widow and
motherhood which /; so gloomy. even
in retrospect that | cannot bear to re-
call il.
oh my child. I have fallen short
Of the standard which esd required
Of me, / have failed 10 fulfil the ie-
mauds His infinite wisdom has laid
upon me. | have erred iaWCIjlhly.
ana have been weighed i'm the balance
ana found miserahly deficient BUT a
little. little plea ! must offer in eN-
tenuation, founded upon the awful
agony of that period. Dorothy. it was
4 sudden and terrible call to arms ia
a life that had never dreawt of war
weapons Of defence: iii-tquivuel. I'M
prepared | knew not how % meet the
emergency Bred il the lap Of peace,
sheltered from even Il rHtle breath. ig-
nOraut even Of the meaning of stress
and conflict. how could BE- expected
10 valiautly face and defend myself
from the enemy! Ana. alas, ! did not
| proved myself n coward; yes. even
more than that-a cruel coward
MY baby. who should have been
welcomed as a solace IN the bitter hour
Of nv bereavement became an object
IF aversion to me. SO associated was
he with my grief that his presence
grew TO be iusIup5gt3ble. | delivered
him over almost entirely TO the care of
his grandmother and nurse. and avoid
I'd him whenever il Was D.r=ii.i, for
me TO do so. 1t was all but q. crime jiat
I committed against my nr-t1urn in
NV wicked Selishuess. and / SONG
times think that Gcd has seen 81 to
punish my sin by laE;ie- Ills ola
ing Hand. heavy with rs.i.hu;io.. up
on the heart which coldiy neglected
one child to make an idol of another.
Il was removed to The Ivies Here
| passed ten quiet, uu-ventful Years
beneath the roof OF - husbands :
father and mother Tendnrly they low
ID me. and no dau-htyr WIS ever more
carefully watched over and admin
istered unto than was their daughter
ln-law. During those years my attach
ment for the child grew no stronger.
| could not bring myself talaS, ! fear
| made slight effort to do Sol to over
come my coldness towards him. And
vet he was Il good little lad and gave
me almost no trouble. Through the
.ong perspective of my advanced years
/ now look back upon the childhood
Of my son Darracott and the vision
# its loneliness and drearincss fills
me with yearning pity and ceaseless
-emOrse | was obliviCus of its pathos
then. Thank God, the boy had his
grandmother to lave and make much
IF him. Her devotion in some measure
repaired my unpardolablc fault.
Finally, the old people died. |
found life at The Iyies unbearIble
without them, and determined upon
placing Darracott 2t school and Great
ing "a new existence for myself by Il
long sojourn abroad. For three years
I devoted myself to foreign travel,
greatly enjoying the variety and eX-
element of constant change aud
movement after the extreme quiet
and monotony Of my homa-life. | was
furnished with excellent letters Of in
PRODUCTION, and found ample oppor-
tunities afforded me for the Indulgence
Of my natural inclination for gaiety,
which had long been Fept under re
straint.
zone evening, at a ball At the British
Embassy iii Madrid. | met Mr.. Ed
redge, man who was many years my
senior but who was a man of finest
endowments and most finished cult
nre. and who interested me, extremely
by his brilliant conversational abilities
[ experienced a keen delight in his
society We met again frequently
and saw much OF each other; and
when. few months later, he asked me
to become his wife, | accepted him.
| had never thought to feel again rs
happy as | did in my marriage with
Mr.. Eldridge. He was man Of slend-
ar means, and had frankly explained
TO me before asking me to marry him,
that he had IN income only sufficient
for bachelors moderate require
ments. But | lad ample wealth at
my command. My Widows iointure
was handsome ole, added to which,
rs guardian Of my sons minority, |
mad control of a very large amount
of income from his estate. After a
tew months NOR" o. travel Mr.. Ed