The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-11-24

Inc sluggish liver can ne CuTeu ny
the use of DR.. Pierces Pleasant Pellets.
Continual dwelling ON war themes
leads the Toronto Republican to re.
mark: Bread is the staff of life aud
bareback is the orowbar
Kansas has ioyfully watched broom
corn whisk up from $50 to $500 ton
for a large part OF the country's crop
comes from this State.
j. J. Hurt, OF Chanute, has an apple
tree full of good-sized, ripened apples,
the second crop produced this season.
The good example set by the alfalfa
Is being followed.
Topeka has an epidemic of chick
en-pox, the contagion having been
brought by the soldiers of the 23rd
Volunteers. Wait until the dobe
itch gets started and there will be
tall scratching.
Alter seeing the girl cadets In the
Topeka parade the Leavenworth high
school girls want to organize. BY
the time another Kansas regiment
comes home from foreign shore
these girls will all be grandmothers.
Lea venWOnh Times: When the Be.
lott girls announced that they in
tended to mold party at which each
one was to read "A package of her love
letters, all the old beauX and some
of the married men quaked until the
party was over.
The Leavenw' nth World pronounces
the "W What Happened TO Jones" com
pany IA hoodOo. When it played at
Lawrence last year j. NJ. Jones was
burned out, ana this year while it
was in Kansas City the Jones Dry
Goods company burned.
The Twentieth Kansas has been in
vited to attend the next reunion Of
Roosevelrs Rough RIners which
takes place in Oklahoma city next
June. The rough riders and the
swift swimmers ought to hitch pretty
well.
A Hiawatha man c1nfesses that he
hasn't yet paid his marriage fee to
the minister. The minister never
complained and probably hopes to
ouIlive the wretch and make up with
a few burning words at the fun eral.
AS sure as fate Ed Little will be
tlring soon of the obscurity of A bilene
and breaking into a run for Office
His campaign will be made ON the
platform, "Man wants but Little
here below"
The Mcpherson Republican refuses
to publish lists of wedding presents
on the ground that present giving at
weddings is wrong. Krehbiel's friends
must be flooding him with announce
ments.
The Wichita Eagle saye: "Agui-
naldO's secretary has been captured.
All that is left of the Filipino govern
ment now is AguInaldo, and foun-
tain Zen he doesn't know how to use
HIMSELF
Barney Sheridan expects cold
weather. He prints this: "Say,
dear subscriber, II you are going to
pay in wood, now is the time to roll
1t in when roads are fine"
The last time Kansas had worked
up good case of prosperity Okla
homa opened up and swallowed a
good bit of it and now that good
times are here again our neigh Dor Ia
arranging to become a state and draw
off some Of the supertiuous politicians.
That will square the deal.
None of the returned soldiers while
saying mean things about Aguinaldo
have said that he was not a chaste
young man, chased from one capital
to another.
An Ottawa man was fined $40 for
having his shooting iron concealed.
1t has cost many a man much more
because he didn't get his gun in evil
dence soon enough.
The Ottawa Herald in 1882 stated
that Eggs are scarce. The hotels
are full" 1t isn't explained whether
the fullness was due to the scarcity
or the scarcity due to the fullness.
Clay Center and Parsons have taken
their asylum dispute into the courts
and if they worry about the matter
much longer there will be need of
such an institution at each place.
Mrs. Bundy, Of Independence, put
a sack of flour on the we'll curb and
1t fell in and now she doesn't know
what to dough with the paste.
A railway engineer who lives in
Eldorado lie confined in a Mexican
dungeon. His relatives probably re.
fer with pride to him as spending
the winter In the south"