davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-06-04
SOME GOOD SHORT STORIES
Senator Quay's Joke.
New Orleans Times-Democrat.)

New Orleans Times-Democrat)
81 don't know anything about Senator
Quay as a statesman or a stock spec
ulator," said gentleman who resides
at Jacksonville, Fla, but l can bear
witness he's mighty good company. L
met him down on the Indian river sew
eral seasons ago, and we were thrown
together good. deal for upward of a
month. He was the life of the party
and the best story teller 1 ever lis
tened to.
Zone of his favorite yarns was about
a wicked drummer, who used to fiirt
with the girls in big dry goods store
His wife found out about II, and went
over to warn the young women to have
nothing to do with him. If he speaks
to you,' she said to the first clerk she
encountered, just take a hat pin and
jab him-like this.'
when Quay reached that part of the
narrative he would extract a pin from
his coat and prod his listener. Then
she went on to the next girl he would
continue, and told her to grab the
trifling rascal by the ear-like thiS-the
first time she saw him, and if he blus
tered to give it twist-like this-and
lead him to the door,
AS he spoke he would suit the action
to the word. OF course, the whole point
of the story was the torture that was
inflicted on the hearer under the pre-
tense of illustrating the suggestions of
the unfortunate wife. AS a rule, a man
wouldn't catch on until he had been
half murdered. The story lasted as
long as the victim would stand it, some
new indignity being described as each
clerk was interviewed.
Il have known Quay to tell it to
thick-headed Floridians and get the
wife up to the fourth story of the dry
goods establishment before they real
lied that all the sufferings of the ras-
cally drummer were being reproduced
on their own persons. The rest of US
would stand back and nearly die
laughing, but the senator would never
whom he told that anecdote will greatly
regret his acquittal. They think he
ought to be hanged"
Illiterate, But Quick-Witted.
P'lemingsburg Ky) Times-Democrat.)
Reuben Fields is certainly an unique
character. The editor first knew him in
Johnson county, Missouri, over thirty
years ago. He was then just about
grown, and possessed wonderful gifts
in matters of mathematics, and it was
said you could never put a question to
him for which he would not have an
answer at his tongues end. On one
occasion two travelling men were dis
cussing his case and one bet the other
he could not spring d question on
"Rube" which would puzzle him for an
answer. The first time he met "Rube'
he said in an abrupt manner: "Rube.
if an Indian should come along and
cut off the top of your head and take
your brains away, what would you do?"
Quick as a flash "Rube" replied: go
around without any, like you do" 1t
is needless to say he paid the bet, with
probably the cost of a western irriga-
ton for the crowd. Fields is native
of Bath county; he would never ego to
school and is wholly illiterate.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-06-04
He Moved Up.
Qrish independently

A little black-eyed and nimble-
tongued Irish street car conductor in
Dublin came into the car and called
out, in his peculiarly penetrating voice:
Wan seat on the roight! Sit closer
on the roight, ladies and gintlemin. an
mex room for a Teddy phwat's stand
in"
A big. surly looking man, who was
occupying space enough for two, said,
sullenly:
I'VE can't sit any closer"
Cant yez?" retorted the little con-
ductor. "Begorra, you niver went
cortin, thin
1t is needless to say that room was
made "on the. roight" for the lady.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-06-04

In a well written, profusely illustrat-
ed article on Utah Newspaper Men
in the Philippines" the Deseret Evening
News credits Isaac Russell, The Herald
correspondent, to a New York paper
This will doubtless please the Journal.
but it is apt to offend Mr.. Russell.
whose contributions to these columns
have been enjoyed by his many readers
in Utah for several months.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-06-04

My Dear Mr.. Skaggs-I would be very
glad to return the hatpins you ask for.
but l cannot tell which ones they are.
They are all so alike that am not at all
sure which ones you gave me but I send
you what 1 have, and you can pick out
yours. Very sincerely-FranceS.
And that's why the soldier boy scowied.
Being a mere man. he didn't even dream
that six of the hatpins were borrowed.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-06-04
THE MOTHER OF A SOLDIER.

(Folger McKinsey in Baltimore News)
The mother of a soidier-hats off to her.
sayi
The mother. of soldier who has gone to
face the fray;
She gave him TO her country with a bless
ing on his head
She found his name this morning in the
long list of the dead:
'Killed-Sergeant Thomas Watkins, while
leading on the rest,
A Bible in his pocket and a portrait on
his breastp'
The mother of soldie0she gave him to
her land:
She saw him on the transport as he
waved his Sun-browned hand;
She kissed him through the tear drops
and she told him to be brave;
Her prayers went night and morning with
her boy upon the wave.
The mother of soldier-her comfort and
her joy,
She gave her dearest treasure when she
gave her only boy;
She saw the banners waving, she heard
the people cheer;
She clasped her hands and bravely looked
away to hide tear.
The mother of a soldier-Ah, cheer the
hero deed,
And cheer the brave who battle meath
the banner of their creed;
But don't forget the mothers, through all
the lonely years,
That fight the bravest battles on the sun
less field of tears.
Nay. don't forget the mothers-the
mothers of our men,
Who see them go and never know that
they'll come back again:
That gave them to their country, to bat
tie and to die,
Because the bugles call them and the
starry banners fly.
The mother of a soldier-hats off to her.
l sayi
Whose head is bowed in sorrow with its
tender locks of gray.
She gave without regretting. though he-'
old heart sorely bled
When she found his name this morning
in the long list of the dead:
'Killed-Sergeant Thomas Watkins,
while leading on the rest.
His dear old mothers portrait clasced
upOn his hero breastn'
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-06-04
Expensive Fish.
(C,hicago Tribune.O

IOHICdbU IIIUUIIC.J
How much did those fish cost vou?"
asked the friend who met him at the
pier
.'They have cost me dollar and half
in boat hire. half dollar for minnows.
half a dollar for the fish, a quarter for
hush money to the chap who sold them to
me. a suit of clothes and probably my
church membership" replied. the Sunday
fisherman. with a hunted look in his eye.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-06-04
Cigarettes and Crime.

Superintendent z. George Terrence Of
the Illinois State Reformatory says that
cigarettes are destroying and making
criminals of more boys than the saloons.
In his reformatory there are 27S boys, 90
per cent of whom were cigarette slaves
at the time of committing the crime for
which they were sent to the reformatory.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-06-04
A MoNsTRoUs PROSPECT.

Chicago News
If people never had complaints,
If no man ever frowned:
If no one ever had a grief,
If no one moped around.
If no one ever suffered FOR
Some other persons sins,
How sick we'd get of people and
Their 'idiotic grins."
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-06-04
Not To Blame.
(Chicago Trihune.l

(ChicagO Tribune.)
zone of those little chickens won't mind
the old hen at all. 1t runs about by itself
and doesn't pay any attention to her
clucks."
IT don't really blame the poor little
thing. It's the one that was Matched in
an incubator"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-06-04
STOCKS AND INVESTMENTS.

Utah Bank and Commercial Stocks and
other High Grade Investment Securities
bought and sold.
Loans on Stocks.
Dividend-paying stocks bought and sold
Investment orders from institutions.
trustees Of estates and capitalists will
receive the best of attention.
JOHN c. CUTLER, JR.,
Tel. 1T 36 Main Street.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-06-04
Imports of MERCHANDISE.

New York, June 9.-The imports OF
dry goods and merchandise at the port
of New York for this week were valued
at $9.067. IA.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-05-31

Porto Rico, there viii be only 1900 rsgu.
lars loft IN tho United States The q0ee.
ton, therefore. hinges on whether Il
VII BE- prudent 70 further draw on the
regular forces IN the United States IN
order 10 augment General ous' forces In
tho Philippines
Those opposed TO organizing pfoyl-
si6nal army favor sending moro regulars
70 the Philippines, and also cnlisnng
some oi tbe peaceful F1lipinOs But an
diher element IN the war depnrimentiis
opposed to half way measures In dealing
with The situation. Tney'ars urging the
president al once 10 issue call for at
lsast 2O.00 Of the provisional army. 10
that Il may be organized. trained and sent
70 the Philippines IN time 70 begin az
aggressive campaign IN the early a..
tumn II ,s expected that the president
will discuss iall phases with the cabinet
IN Tuesday ana reach an early decision.
Secretary Aiger hiss been advised by
Genera, Otis that hs has appointed ~
1 board 10 pass upon aii'elaims againzf
.he United StntcH COlonei T.. n Crow
ler. Judge advocate, Major G. U. Can
enbcin. Second oregon volunteers, and
Captain II. a. Greone, Twentieth in-
ant This board ig also - meet com.
mission representing the Spanish goy'
,rnmont. 10 expedite the se,tlement Of
no claims Of spain IN the Philippines
L Is expected that the join, commission
sll consider the question: Of ths com.
for the armament and fortih-
,ati0ns around Manila that should be al
owed 20 Spain under tho terms OF the
rnnIY OF ncaca
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-05-31
THREE NOTABLE EVENTS.

Copyrighted 1880 by the Associated Pres9
PARIS. May 3O.-M-5. Crawford re-
views the situation: Three events have
taken place today. each OF which without
other would have sufiiced TO eiectrify
France. All coming together. interest
was dlnused aud no convulsion thus far
Is apprehended. one was the landing Of
Major Marchand at TOulon. The second
vas the speech of General Herye and the
proceedings generally In the Paris court
Of asslzes where the de Rouede-Habert
trial is going on. The third was the
conclusion Of Judge Ballot de Beaupres
report on the Dreyfus case read BY him
before the court OF cassation.
Major Marchand is hailed as hero
by all enemies OF the republic. ". Ballot
de Beaupre's summing Up in the court Of
cessation In favor OF Dreyfus has not
disturbed the town. II was a foregone
conclusion, but as the judgment is to
be revised and not quashed, there will
be a new trial before court martial.
with every probability OF a. fair trial and
II is hard to doub, that the result will
be acquittal. there being no proof against
Dreyfus
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-05-31
Personal MENTION.

John l.. Carlson left on brief business
~ y to Portland last night
W, C. Laws left by the Telephone last
evening for Brookheld on short business
trip,
Al Anderson. well known Westport
logger. was in the city yesterday, regis
tered at the Parker house.
p, ]. Meany Nas reported to be seri.
ousl yil yesterday He Is suffering from
hemorrhages of the stomach.
Rev. ]. McCormac, OF the Seamens
bethel, has removed his residence from
Bond and Fourth streets to 7Ss Franklin
avenue his residence being one block
back and one block up the river from
St Marys hospital
Richard Carruthers. who was recently
mustered out OF the engineer corps in
San Francisco, is now IN Los Angeles on
n visit He expects to return to San
Francisco IN a few days, and will leave
for Astoria about June Is,
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-05-31
Russian, British and Amerlca
schemes for AfblifatknI#
Meets With Favor.
DREYFUs CASE OPENED
Debaupre ASKS for Revision Of Yer.
dict Of Condemnation Three
Notable French Events.

LONDON. May U.-The correspondent
Of the Standard al The Hague says: An
important advance was made today in
the direction Of a scheme Of arbitration
combining Russian, British and Ameri-
can proposals. The Representatives OF
these nations arrived AZ an agreement
which seems 10 find general acceptance.
Sir Julian Pauncefote conferred this
afternoon with Seth Low and Mr. Hollis
and both the British and American pro
potals were examined. with the result
that the United States will support the
Pauncefoie scheme for a permanent trls
bunaL In all practical and essential fea-
tures ne British and American plans
are identical. but the American delegates
have gone further covered the whole
field Of arbitration and drafted provisions
Tor re-hearing In the event Of disagree
ment
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-05-31
a TREAT FoK AsfoRIANs.

/, Is with pleasure tha, the announce
ment is made Of the return Of that ever
popular and always welcome attraction,
The Shaw Company"
Aslorians viii remember this clever
company and It's well deserved success
here one year ago
Since that time this company has been
reorganized and strengthened until today
Vt stands a, the head Of Pacific coast at
fractions.
Their repertoire is composed Of bright.
new. up to date plays. which are produced
with that careful attention which In.
sures the success OF the same from the
beginning.
The eompany's orchestra, which made
;ch a favorable impression curing their
> ay, has been increased TO nine pieces,
Rad today leads the procession In It's
liae. Remember the date. Monday, June
5,h and week.
Sale of seats opens Saturday morning
a, Griffin 4 Reeds.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-05-31
SHAKE INTO YOUR SHOES

Aliens Foot-Ease. a powder for the
feet. 1t cures painful. swollen. smarting
nervous feet, and instantly takes the
sting out OF corns and bunlona It's
the greatest comfort discovery OF the
age. Aliens Foot-Ease makes tight or
new shoes feel easy. 1t Is certain cure
for sweating. callous and hot. tired. aeh-
Ing feet. Try It today. Sold oy ali drug
gists and shoe stores By mall &c. 10
stamps. Trial package free. Address
Allen 8. olmsted. lie Roy. n. Y.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-05-31

consider It not only a pleasure but a
duty owe TO my neighoors to tell about
the wonderful cure effected in my case
by the timely use OF Chamberlain's Collie.
Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy. was
taken very badly with fiux and procured
a bottle OF this remedy. A few doses OF
1t effected a permanent cure. take
pleasure in recommending 1t to others
suffering from that dreadful disease
]. w. LYNCH. Dorr., W. Va. This remedy
Is sold by Charles Rogers.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-05-31
NBALL FOUND GUILTY.

SAN FRANCiSco. May MA special
from Washington states that the findinss
Of the cour, martial watch tried Captain
J. 81 Neal. q the Fourth cavalry. have
been received by the Judge advocate gen.
cral. that he WAS found guilty and that
the sentence Is dismissal from the army.
General Shafier IL said 70 have made a
plea for ciemency II Is also reported
that John W. Mckay. who Il a friend OF
Captain Neal. will intercede with Pres
dent Mckinley in his behalf 70 he may
be- permitted 10 leave for the Philippines
with his command
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-05-31
CARD OF THANKS.

Believing that It would BE- impossible
to personally thank every person and or
ganlEatlon who extended their patriotic
sympathy and coincidence to my family
and myself in our bereavement, l extend
to all through the press our heartfelt
thanks. ANDREW YOUNG.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-05-31
DREYFus CASE OPENED.

PARIS. May O.-There were few lnd.
cations Of excitement in the vicinity OF
the palace Of justice when the court Of
cessation resumed its slttings for the
hearing Of arguments In the Dreyfus
case. 81. Blllot de Baupre resumed read
Ing his report on Dreyfus. DeBaupre con-
cluded the report on the Dreyfus case
by asking for a revision Of the verdict q.
condemnation ard me retr4al Of Dreyfus
by court martial.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-05-31
CHESS MATCH ARRANGED

SAN FRANCISCO. May 3o-A chess
match between players between San
Francisco and Seattle viii take place 70.
morrow. the various moves belAg trans
ml,ted and the results announced by tel
egraph The details OF the frsi move viii
so over the wires at 10 a. m, and the
play viii be- continued throughou, the
day. Ten games IN all will be contested.
TWO ~ which will be by consultation.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-05-31
AMERICAN RULE a FIAsco.

Spain believes that American rule in
the Philippines will prove a tlasco. Spain
also believed It utterly impossible for
America to whip her. After a vigorous
argument Spain changed her mined on
one point. and she may yet on another,
There 10 no more chance of Americas
calling to do what she has made up her,
mind TO do than there is of Hostetter's
stomach Rltters failing TO cure any
stomach trouble, or any disease arising
from a weak stomach. The Bitters is
an American remedy 'which never has
faled-which cannot fail, 1t has cured
more cases Of constipation, Indigestion,
malaria, fever and ague, liver and kid
rey troubles than any other remedy, All
druggists keep 1t. II wln cure you
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-05-31
BIRTH RECORD or FlTzslMMoNs.

NEW YORK. May 0o-sporting men
have obtained a copy Of the record OF the
birth Of Rober Ftzsimmons nled AZ
liclWon. Cornwall. England According
10 thr record the pugilsi was born May
D. ls3. and Consequently he has Just
passed his tlhrty-dxth Birthday. Fiez-
simmons has stated ...s age az a year
more. and has never contradcted state
,mn,S that made him severa: years older.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-05-31
NOTICE FOR PUBLICATION,


Land ONCE at Oregon City, oregon,
May o 1899,
Notice Is hereby given that the follow
lng-namcd settler has filed notice OF his
Intention TO make anal proof In support
OF his claim, and that said proof Will BE-
msde before the county clerk OF Clatsop
county, at Astoria oregon on June 9ith.
1890. vlg Thomas Bush; II, II, 9902, for
the ~ Il, 4 OF Section l. Township T.
N, II. sW
IIo names the following witness TO
prove his continuous residence upon and
cultivation OF .spid lanG tSig: Abram
Carlson or sksgspn oGFon; Jacob
soles OF Knappp Oregon; Reeoher D.
sloop, Of Astoria, oregon and Grant
sIqop, o. Aslesa, Qrsg9a,,, f
" - daAIdsias RsSMooREs,
a wnR hym Saqs,5 Register.
n Falf1. d.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-05-31

The ancients believed that rheumatism
was the work OF demon within man,
Any one who has had an attack Of sciatic
or infammatory rheumatism will agree
that the inhlctlon is demon!ac enough to
warrant the belief, 1t has never been
claimed that Chamberlain Pain Balm
would cast out demons, but 1t will cure
and hundreds bear testi-
mony to the truth Of this statement. One
application relieves the pain and this
quick relief which /; affords is alone
worth many times It's cost, For sale by
Charles Rogers.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-05-31
ANY change from a routine Is pleasant,
PROPOSALS FOR 2UE;.

once Of c. @. NJ, Vd'icoaver Bqrracks,
Wash, May 2, 1899 Sealed prop6sa's, in
trlpllcate. will be received here until
Ii o'clock a. M, June g. 1899 and then
opened, for furnishing fuel at the sew
eral military pests IN this department
for as6ai'year cornmeatiasSJuly ts9 1892
IrformatIQn furpsbed, here or by quar-
iermasiers a, Tposts. Z. S. reserves right
to reject or accept any or al, proposals
or any part thereon Envelopes contain
ing proposals should be marked; "Pro-
posals for Fuel at ---," and addressed to
undersigned ]. w.SJACoBs. C. Q. M,
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-05-31
BOGUS DOLLARS.

SAN FRANCISCO. May So.-The Ca!l
asserts that large quantities OF bogus
dollars are In circulation here. and that
the work OF the counterfel,ers has been
80 well done as ia almost defy detection.
The CONS are said to be made OF Mexican
silver and to have the true weight and
ring. tr fT 80 p;
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-05-31
MORE MEN ARE NEEDED.
Obs Has Not Sufficient Number TO
whip the Flllpnos,

/ NHlp Au' NAAAi'hN9'
| NEW YORK, May @.-A special to the
Herald from Washington says: The sit
uatlon in the Philippine Islands as de-
scrlbed in recent dispatches Is such as
to make almost nesessary the raising OF
at least part OF the provisional army
authorized by the last congress, II the
United States expects to secure complete
control o. the archipelago, The admins.
'tratlon has been brought to realize that
/ It Is no longer war and dplomocy In deal
Ing with the Insurgents, but plain war.
Diplomacy and the peace commission
must take back seats until the enemy has
been completely whipped and forced to
surrender
General Otis has not a SUFFICIENT numbo.
Of men to accomplish this end. II Is S,-
lIeved that he has so informed the war de-
partment, but the officials will not ad-
nit It,
They do admit, however, that the outs
look FOR an early peace is very g'oomy.
and that more troops are badly needed In
the Philippines,
Just how to meet the situation is a
question which confronts them apd de-
mands prompt attention, Although Gem
cral Otis states that he will continue
an aggressive campaign during the rainy
season It Is appreciated that he VIII le
able to 90 little more than to garrison
some Of the points which the forces un-
der Generals Macarthur and Lawson
Nave tskeh, and hold then until The
,.ialny season Is oveEp 4 is also PAIN
that there win be more or less Illness
during this period Of bad weather and
that WHEN the campaisn is resumed the
force capable of actlte warfare will be
materially reduced "at aN
/ 1nc,hdlng the 1000 troops now oR.their
way or under orders for sserwice' in the
Philippines, General Otis viii have only
! q oO0 regular troops under his command.
With 2lOOO regular troops in Cuba and
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-05-31
PBEPANATloNs FOR, ,EXAAIINA-
So tTfONS. '@et@

Special preparations for the state and
county examinations will be given at the
sumfrier term Of the state normal school
at Monmouth, beginning Tuesday, June
26. Regular work by the Normal faculty,
Grades credited toward graduation. Ex-
penses from sS5 to $40 for ten weeks.
Full information sent on application to
the secretary Of the faculty, Normal
School, Monmouth.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-05-31
SeOIL'S FMuIsLOn
You will find Il Just as useful In summer
as In winter. and u you are thriving upon
II don't stop because the weather b warm.
sos. and tIoo, all druegs,A
SCOTT & BOVINE, Chemists New York.
FORT STEVENS BUILDINGS.

Proposals Wanted For Construction,
Once OF c. Q. NJ, Vancouver Bar
racks. Wash. May IS 1899, Sealed pro-
posals, In trlpllcato, will be received here
unul II a. M. May 81. 1899, and then op-
encd. fer the construction OF the following
buildings at IT, Stevens, ore; barracks,
. double sets OF officers quarters admin
IstrNilon building, Q, II. stable, N. e. .,
quarters, bake-house, hospital, hospital
stewards quarters. workshop, q, NJ, and
subsistence storehouse. Information FUR
nIshed az this office, U, s. reserves the
right to reject or accept any or all pro.
posals or any part thereof Envelopes
containing proposals should be marked:
Proposals for construction OF buildings
at Fort Stevens, oregon" and addressed
to undersigned. j. w Jacobs, c. Q. NJ.
Note-The date OF opening the above
proposals is extended to June Is, 1899,
j. w. JACOBS, c. Q, NJ,