The times., 1899-03-06
A NeXY .inrscX NnrnIist.

IeTnapS, II tne truth COulu be Known. IL
would be found that the first museum in
America had its origin in New Jersey.
Certainly the Mosquito State seems TO be
the special home of freaks The latest in
stance of the congenital queerness preva-
lent in that region comes from Paterson
There is hall in that town owned by
the Paterson Young Mems Christian Asso-
citation. and when they are not using it
they occasionally rent it to secular indi-
viduals and organizations. few days ago
! the secretary of the Association one Mr..
Hoagland. was approached by the executive
committee of the Clan Macdonald and
asked if the Clan could have the hall for
an entertainment. The committee was
headed by an eminently respectable judge.
Imagine the astonishment of these worthy
| gentlemen. NEST of whom were men of
family, when Mr.. Hoagland said with the
particularly virtuous air which some per
sons can assume on occasion:
The last time YOU Ind the hall there were all
sorts Of goings on. of which Christian man
could approve. The affair." as described to me-
was simply disgraceiul.
What exclaimed the chairman of the
committee. Some of the others said
what and some merely gasped. But
Mr.. Hoagland was not disturbed. He went
on TO explain that kits were highly i'm
proper, and the Association could not afford
to risk its good name by being connected
with men who wore them He called the
committee you people" and assured them
that they couldn't give any such indecent
exhibitions that in Association Hall.
Then the committte got their breath. anc
TO anyone who understands the Scottish
character it is unnecessary to explain that
there was fuss. When you tell a Scotch
man that the national dress of his country
is improper and that he himself is unfit TO
be connected with an association OF good
young men in Paterson, New Jersey you
must expect him to say things. And that
was what the committee did To their
everlasting glory be it said that they did
not try to introduce sense into the secre-
tarys head by the simple operations Of
breaking it. He had insulted them, but
they tried to be just TO him. Al first they
reasoned with him. or rather, 10 him.
They said:
''The servants Of the Queen OF England wear
kits
"Thcn,' said Mr.. Hoagland loftily. AL I've
got to say Is that the Queen Of England is in
a pretty bad business and ought 10 know bet
ter"
[some one ought to pay Mr.. Hoagland's
expenses 10 England and introduce him at
court just to see what Her Majesty would
say when he told her that.l
Then the committee, exclaimed, growing
warm:
Knox and Cinlmcr> wore kills 0nd they were
better men than you.
This also failed 10 move Mr. Secretary.
He probably never had heard of either
Knox or Chalmers. Perhaps he thought
they were barbarians of the time of Ossian.
Bobby Burns. the poet" they said,
all together. 1t was something like casting
pearls before swine to mention that name
under such conditions, but they were ex-
cited
The secretary said that Burns was
roo"
What happened then is not definitely
known. The committee of the Clan Mac
donald did not kill th-~secretary, and for
that they deserve great credit After they
left the building they came to the con-
clusion that what Mr. Hoagland really
meant TO say about Burns was that he was
roue He is the sort of man who would
naturally pronounce it roo
This episode is not in itself important.
for it is unlikely. after ALL that il will
lead TO any deeds of violence. Members OF
the Clan Macdonald will not care to take
very much trouble TO convert a person like
Mr.. Hoagland. But it suggests a problem
which is of some importance in American
life. \ class of people does exist in this
country of whom the Rev Mr. Hoag-
land is type; and occasionally they get
control of things which they ought not to
be allowed TO touch. They have been
known 10 prevent poor people from taking
innocent pleasure on Sunday, and they
often give a gorgeous reputation 10 a bad
book. while forbidding perfectly harmless
amusement on the ground of immortality
Their sense of beauty and culture is about
on the level with that of an inhabitant of
Tibet. and their notion of religion fire.
quently much the same. Attention should
be paid to them. and their zeal restrained