Daily inter mountain. [volume] (Butte, Mont.) 1881-1901, 1899-03-18

man sinners in Missouri. In one of her
addresses the other day she said:
There is a man in this house who is
untrue to his wife! l am going to throw
this hymn-book at him."
She raised the book as if she was going
to throw it, and every man but one in
the house ducked his head to avoid the
book. Then she blistered the dodgers
and lauded the one true man. 1t was
afterward learned that he was deaf and
dumb.
A Difficult S~ituation.-"It's too bad!'
said Sagasta, in a tone of deep pathos.
Il wish they wouldn't send such unreas-
enable people to the c%ortes.'
whats the trouble?"
You can't get anything through their
heads. A number of them won't vote for
the treaty unless they are paid in adj
vance some of the money which we can't
collect from the United States until after
the treaty is ratitied."-Washington
A geographical is to be held
in Berlin in September, and among the
subjects which it will consider the fol-
lowing may be mentioned:
THE proposal to introduce internal
tiona uniformity in the methodical treat
ment of various subjects, such as the
problem of the tides, the conventional
signs of maps, the nomenclature and de-
limitation of oceans and seas, the attach
ment of the scale of every map, and the
mode Of arranging meteorological tables.
There will also be suggestions for joint
International work in collecting materials
of every kind relating to floating ice, to
earthquakes, to the utilization of arid
lands, to the exploration Of the Antarctic
regions, and to the systematic explora-
ton of the oceans"
"Bredren,' cried Deacon Johnsing, "de
politician what talked in dis town las
night say de Philippines were poor dogs
what ought to be helped. But 1 tell you,
go to de Book to settle cherry question.
An what do yo' fin dar? Beware oh
dogs An whar dye fin dat? Why,
yo fin 1T by a man dat knew desc peo-
pie better'n we do. Yo' fin it in de
Epistle Paul to de Philippines!"-Pitts-
burg Chronicle.
In one of the lower counties of Ken
lucky recently a ragged, dirty, d~isreputa-
bic tramp stole a pair of oxen and sold
them. A shrewd young lawyer under
took his defense, and when the case was
called a well-dressed, clean-shaven, good
looking man took his place in the dock.
The change was so great that none Of the
men who had seen him with the oxen
were abole to identify him, and he was
| acquitted.
"Oh, yes said Miss Flyppe, "Mr. Gay
son is a nice enough fellow, but he ought
to have his clothes made by a tailor"
'tHow do you know he doesn't?" asked
young Throggins.
'How do I know? I can tell hand-me-
downs on anybody by the way they fit"
THAT means" bitterly soliloquized
young T~hroggins, as he wendell his way
homeward an hour later, that I'll have
to pay $35 instead of SIS for my next
suit.'-Chicago ribune
The following curious advertisement
recently appeared in 9TH London Spec
tator:" Thousands of people would be
glad to know of a religion without super
%stition, a faith without c%redulty, and a
worship without idolatry. Apply for
theistic literature to Mrs. Laing, the The
istic Church, Swallow-st., Piccadilly,
London"
Kissing, eac,-"Your name will be a
kissing and a byword!' exclaimed the be-
trayed lover, with a terrible look.
Tess of the De Tubervilles trembled
violently.
NO" she protested, Everybody does
not put u quantities of whiskers on his
SIS as do you!"
For, while she detested him as a man,
she could not deny his dramatic art
Detroit Journal.
II SHdIIeSuOu NEWS dIiu Courier
says that IF. Hopkinson Smith worked
the same gag in Charleston that he has
been accused of in different western cities
of appearing on the stage in business
clothes and explaining that his trunk had
gone astray."
Fuddy-I guess Chaplain enjoyed the
opera last night supremacy. He applaud
ed nearly every number.
Duddy-It wasn't because he enjoyed
the music. He saw Rural in the house,
d and he was bound that Rural shouldn't
hear the whole opera, so he managed to
! get enough encOres to cause Rural to
rush for his train before the last act was
half finish d.-Boston Transcript.
When Hull House, Chicago, opened its
public kitchen one woman strongly OBJ
jected to eating the food cooked in it. 81
don't want to eat nutritious food" she
said. 81 van to eat what I'd ruther."
IF I had money, said the major CON-
templatively, (which I haven't and never
will have-I'd build a lot of big dancing
pavilions all over the poor districts of
Philadelphia and nave free dancing there
three times a week. It's the chance of a
lifetime for a millionaire. Any one who's
gone through those districts on a clear
night will appreciate what l mean. The
street pianos make their living there,
One is running on every block or SO. and
a hundred children, from two to twenty
years, are dancing about them. It's good
dancing, too. I wonder what becomes of
them. They certainly DON 60 on the