The Hawaiian gazette., 1899-01-03
A Few Anecdotes Tod II lll
Great AdniraL
CONFERENCE WIN MtRalrI
Simple soluuon on Jurisoio,ion
A suesis, on orsss-p1is
Lite JOKE.
tChicago Timcs.rieraldJ

Soon after MAJ. Gen, Merritt roacnu
Manila he began TO experience trosbls
with the insurgents Aguinaldo wa
not disposed To pay much heed 10 th.
Generals orders. and the General com.
plicated matters more or less by en-
deayorine to avoid any clashing of Tho
American with the insurgent forces.
The situation was becoming somewhat
strained when Gen. Merritt sought a
conference with Admiral Dewey on the
Olympia. The General and the Admir-
al discussed the situation at great
length, the former giving special atten-
ton to the question Of jurisdiction -
the Philippines. At last Gen. Merritt
put this question to the Admiral:
Admiral, how far, In your opinion,
does your jurisdiction extend on the
island?"
Admiral Dewey took two short turns
on the quarterback before answering.
Then he said:
General. my Jurisdiction extends
from as close TO shore as ! can move
these fiatirons," pointing TO the Ameri-
can fleet. Ito as far into the island AS
can throw a she'll
II there is any one thing which
pleases Admiral Dewey 1t Is neatness
in dress. He has never been known TO
set a bad example in this respect and
IL regarded by his subordinates as a
fashion plate for the American Navy.
One of the standing orders following
the establishment OF routine duty 10
the fleet when there We're no more
Spanish ships to fight was one requir-
ing all officers to wear their white uni
forms.
One day a certain paymaster named
Martin, who is afflicted with an aOnor-
mally bushy growth of red whisksrs
and a figure of pronounced rotundity,
visited the Olympia on business con-
nected with his department As the
paymaster mounted the gangway he
was seen by Admiral Dewey. and .
frown gathered on the brow Of the
autocrat of the feet. Paymaster Mar
tin was sight to provoke a laugh
from ships fgurehead. He was ar
rayed in a dun-colored suit OF duck.
loosely woven undervest resembling
sweater showed beneath his jacket and
on his head was one of those enormous
nelUltls Win u
equal to that OF an umbrella,
Orderly. tell Paymaster Martin !
wish to see him at once" said Admiral
Dewey, and the orderly sought the
paymaster with a grin on his face. A
Jew moments later and the paymaster.
very much pleased with being accorded
the honor OF visiting the quarterback,
stood before the Admiral and executed
of la.
"Paymaster Martin" said the Ad-
miral in his chilliest tones, II think
YOU are drunk"
Il beg your pardon, Admiral as
sure you ! am not drunk-l-l am per-
fectly sober" stammered the paymast-
er, staggering under the blow his com
plaisance had received.
Il still think you have been drink
ing" continued the little man in spot
less white, for ! can't believe you
would come aboard this ship sober,
wearing such an outlandish uniform.
Go back to your ship, sir, and don't let
me ever see another violation OF orders
like this"
Among the volunteer officers of the
army is Captain in California reg
iment whose mustache rivals the
whiskers of Paymaster Martin in its
business. II spreads over mis- face
from his eyes TO his lower jaws and
reaches back TO his ears. While
ashore one day the Admiral saw this
captain at short range and his keen.
gray eyes shone with unusual brillian-
cy as he turned TO brother officer and
quietly remarked:
1T isn't fair to fight the Spaniards
with that officer"
why do you say that. Admiral
Hes in ambush all the time" was
the reply, and the Admiral's joke had
circulated throughout the whole fleet
before night.