The times., 1899-03-27
FREE DISCUSSION
SOCIETY A FAILURE
An Audience of But Five Per-
sons Assemblies.
The Founder of the Organization
the Only Speaker.
The Scheme Did Not "Pan Out.n But
the Hall Rent Was Prompt
Iy Paid.

The Free Discussion Society" made its
debut in cold, calculating, suicidal world
yesterday afternoon. and after two long,
hopeful hours of life died at the hands of
its promoters. And the cold, calculating,
suicidal world still manages TO keep right
on moving.
The Free Discussion Society had great
hopes 1t was such an institution as Mr.
| Micawber might have had pleasure III
booming. The prospectus of the society
stated that the order of business would be
Music and free speech, but ONE at a
time" Furthermore, there were no fees
| and no dues. but voluntary contributions
for expenses. Strangers were to be rec
ognized first in debate and the audience
was to choose its own chairman. All this
SO long as free speech prevailed with but
one at time
The society opened for business at 3
o'clock yesterday afternoon in the ladies'
cloakroom at Sheldon's Dancing Academy,
founder of the society, and its president
and secretary, was present to bid the COM
ing audience welcome and to state the OBJ
jects of the society. Following Mr.. Cow
den came Mr.. Augustine, treasurer of the
society. These officials sat them down
and joyfully discussed the glorious protest
The people were certain to come and take
advantage Of the offers made by the
society. The prospectus read: Everybody
invited, ladies especially" But alas for
the hopes of Founder Cewden, the afore-
said prospectus also emphatically stated
that but one could speak at time.
And the hopeful twain waited. And
pale cid gentleman with magnificent head
ventured up the sair.ay and was me- with
such reception as no prodigal son ever
received. deadly half hour pass d and
stray newspaper man wandered in.
"Ah.'' said Mr. Cowden, they are com
ing. They are coming.
They are coming" added Mr. Angus
tine.
But they refused to come. The old
gentleman with the magnificent head fell
asleep and Mr.. Cowden renewed his hope
full hymn of they are coming"
Gentlemen" said Mr.. Cowden, ad-
dressing the newspaper man, this is the
Free Discussion Society. Just make your
self at home and we viii have an audience
in few moments. Mr. Augustine will
talk to us about Cuba.
Mr.. Augustine thereupon entered into
long discourse on how a friend of his made
money by shipping chickens from Jamaica
to Cuba. Mr.. Cowden took exception to
the number of crates of hens, while Mr.
Augustine persisted In his statement
All this was very interesting and two
very bashful young men entered and were
received with open arms. After another
long wait the proprietor OF the hall entered
and informed Mr., Augustine in a loud
whisper that 1T is not going to pan out"
Mr. Augustine looked nervous but said
nothing. The proprietor wanted the money
for the rent of the hall.
"Ah, gentlemen" said Mr. Cowden
while waiting for the audience / will
just read you few splendid articles from
magazine. The editor is a friend of
mine and he mentions my alrship several
times just to please me. You know | have
built an airship and some one will yet be
surprised. This is a religious magazine
but / will skip over the religious por-
tions"
Mr. Augustine nodded approvingly, the
old gentleman with the magnificent head
woke with a start and the two nervous
youths looked eagerly at the door.
This article" said Mr. Cowden, "is
about the development of the world during
the closing century" He then read and
reread long screed on Alexander, Pom
peii, ancient Egypt. the modern telegraph
and the airshp. The latter invention was
evidently guilty of the incentive TO read
the article. Mr.. Cowden would read sew
eral extracts about the airship and then
illustrate with statements of his ship.
And" read Mr.. Cowden from the ar
ticle, when man sees a great machine
afioat in the air and flying about, the cry
will go up, What wonders God hath
wrought
Now listen to that again" beamed Mr.
Cowden. Explanations were then in order
showing that Cowden himself was to be
the cause of all this commotion.
At this point the proprietor of the hail
again entered and again remarked in a
loud whisper, at is not going TO pan out"
Whereupon Mr. Augustine, the treasurer,
produced some money and sat down with
sigh of WEAKNESS.
All" said Mr.. Cowden, 1T is no use
They are not coming. II is indeed strange
that the people Will be satisfied in their
present condition. When we wish to aid
the people they disregard us and are will
ing to remain in their misery 1t is
strange indeed.
1T is strange" said Mr.. Augustine.
And the Free Discussion Society ad-
journed.