Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-10-15
VALUE or CIVIL SERVICE.
Examinations show Lamentable Ignorance
on the Part OF the Applicants.

Joe Miller's Joke Book Is funeral
dirge in comparison with the answers
to some of the questions propounded by
the Census Examining Board. Sereral
days ago prominent Representative
found fault with the Census officers be-
cause a constituent had failed to pass
the examination required. Director
Merriam listened patiently. as he al
ways does, ar.l then, With merry
twinkle in his eye-he always has a
merry twinkle--sent for the papers. He
read the applicants answers to several
of the questions, and it satisfied the
Representative that his constituent
knew nothing of the history OF his coun-
try.
"But the mathematics. Why are
they SO dificult?" queried the polite
ian.
Lets see about them" Turning to
those questions, he showed them all
and commented upon them. There was
she simple addition. Five columns Of
figures, of a dozen lines each. The
constituent had made eight mistakes
in copying the figures and six in addi-
ton. The Representative looked
bored.
Turning to the percentages, there was
absolutely not a correct answer, and in
the simple question in multiplication
such ignorance was displayed that the
Representative cried enough.
How is it? How is it, that people
fail to pass this examinations"
1t is an oft-repeated question, and has
not been satisfactorily answered yet;
for it cannot be denied the examination
is easy. 1t is thoroughly practical,
every one admits, and no one has yet
had the temerity to criticise it after
understanding it. While many fail in
mathematics, more go down in English,
and it is surprising the amount of
ignorance displayed in the answers to
the questions in geography, govern
examination cuts but little figure in the
marking of an applicants ability. Out
OF a possible 100 it is only reckoned at
20 per cent in the totals. The ques-
tion5 are simple, and for the most part,
current, and there is absolutely no ex-
cuse for failure. 1t would be.unjust to
mention any names in connection with
the ignorance displayed, so the answers
which follow will not be attributed to
any one although each one is anthem
tic
Several days ago, when applicants
were asked to tell something of Abra-
ham Lincoln, the following answers
were noticed Lincoln was a great
general, and distinguished himself in
the War of 1872"
Abraham Lincoln was a personal
friend of the colored race and was one
Of the original signers of the Declar-
alton of independence"
Abraham Lincoln was born in H.
linois, where he worked from early
morn till dewey eve as a farmers lad,
until he became President"
They knew very little Of the great
emancipation. At a subsequent examin-
alton the examiner asked them to tell
something of Jefferson Davis. One
young woman from the wild west ven
tured the statement that Mr.. Davis was
president of the United States and
wrote the Declaration of Indepen-
dence."
Another said "a famous general in
the War of 1872"
There was great divergence of opin-
ion as to the identity of the first Post
master General, One suggested George
Washington, another said Patrick
Henry, another Robert Morris, while
young man from the South thought it
was a gentleman named Bissell."
William Cullen Bryant's identity got
horribly mixed with that of the Ne
braska silverite by young lady, who
declared that:
civilian Cullen Bryant was the
Democratic candidate for President,
silver advocate and a resident of Ne
braska."
The inventor of the telegraph, Pro-
fessor S. F. B. Morse, was made to ap-
pear a general fl the United States
army, a great doctor and (shades of the
great inventory prominent politician
of the South
One wag, whose knowledge of geo
graphy was poor, said the best way to
reach the Atlantic Ocean by water from
Chicago was in boat.
Another suggested route like this:
Go by rail to New York, take a boat
and get there
One, whose appearance indicated the
possession of some knowledge, yentur-
ed the following route:
go down the Ohio river to the Gulf
of Mexico, and there you are"
When asked where the Mississippi
river had its origin, one suggested New
M =.