The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1899-04-30

composition was not printed as 1t was
sent in. The notice reads:
next and last but not lest on the hill oferd ia
amy mart siri that sings and represents boury
uPes OF an exentrik karaktcr she is Well none
to washingtoneans Bekus she has sung hear very
omen ameelea Glover which is well none in the
citty drektery and is cauld the Littel fam will
appeer to with Bell-lvinstun the hans,u,est
wumane on the amurcan staig
The genius who penned this contribution
TO the gayety of nations stirred I'D con-
siderable trouble in town by means of his
anxiety to get into print. His career vas
BRIEF, however. and so he can hardly be
ciassed as contemporary or any other
sort of press agent,
Strange as it may seem no oddity of the
INK Is becoming SO usual OF late as the reli-
gious IMAM ahead" This parsonage is
generally in advance Of some drama which
Is intended to cater almost solely to
church people. but occasionally he strays
out OF the fold. In any case and under all
circumstances the representative of his
type is ludicrous. The most pronounced
sample of such work recently seen here
was forwarded to The Times by the pub
licity-promoter in the employ of Denman
Thompson. A large portion of the screed
was given to proving that when Mr..
Thompson died he would go to heaven be-
cause of the good he had accomplished
with THE Old Homestead" A like argu-
ment for patronage came from an unex-
pected source within the fortnight. 1t was
sent from the Academy OF Music and stated
Of Jean Mawson that I'm her new war
drama, "A Daughter of Cuba she plays
the part of heroic Red Cross nurse, which
is said to be perfectly suited to her nature,
being in true life the patient Christian
worker the part calls for Queerly
enough this author was probably abso-
lutely correct. The woman who could
have turned out "a Daughter of Cuba"
must have been both patient and Chris
tian.
The wary and knowing editor soon learns
from experience not to trust to quoted
criticisms OF coming plays unless the mat
ter alleged to have been taken from an
other sheet" is printed. Even then hasty
action is not always safe. While on
New York periodical the writer OF these
remarks received an envelope one night
in which was a clipping pasted to bit
Of Irish linen and purporting to be an
extract from the Chicago Tribune" The
issue OF the dramatic weekly was about
to go to press and so the contribution was
hastily headed and sent TO the compositors.
The next morning its reader noticed that
the style was not that of II. ]. WhiSham,
the Tribune reviewer. and hunted up
the copy. Upon tearing away the clipping
he discovered that tue SOppOoCd hOtiNS was
reproduced on a bit of paper the other
side of which was blank. This was, OF
course, conclusive evidence that the praise
was not from journal.
Frequently typewriter extracts from
resumes supposed to have been published In
great dailies are manufactured from whole
cloth, though the necessity OF this has been
avoided by the clever press agent. Any
condemnation may be so adroltly twisted
hty-
sundry well-known reviewers have been
credited with commentator they never in
tended. For example, imagine roast
which read: 1.-THE performance was worthy
only as an example of just how poor
play may be. Never in the history of local
theatricals has such a faulty production
been seen here. The company is bad. the
piece is worse, and scenery could not have
been more miserable had the whole been
put together for a Bowery museum. Better
that such had been the case. II it is
destined to last long in this CITY,"
Surely nothing could be more scathing
than this, but a modern man ahead"
would have little difficulty in quoting 1t
honestly and yet with distinct advantage
to himself AS amended the story would
probably read: THE performance was
worthy Never In the history of local
theatricals has such production
been seen here. The company the
piece and the scenery could not have
been i. better. 1t is destined to
last long in this city.-Gotham Growler."
The average theatrical representative
has at the end OF his pen a number OF ad-
jectives that may be either out of use or
never have been in use. These he eX-
ploits without the slightest conjunction,
and the results are often disastrous to the
copy-reader. An enthusiastic envoy with
76-gear vocabulary can create more
havoc in the mind of an editor than would
raise of salary Frank Wilstach has be-
come famous in newspaper circles for a
eulogy of De Wolf Hopper, which was
written in a spirit Of fun and printed in
The Times about year ago No better
specimen OF word-throwing could be Sc
lected. In part it follows:
When De Wolf Hopper comes to town nature
seems to put on a smiling glance, care takes
wing and joviality rcigns in its place. Barnum
attracts crowds to the sidewalks, Hopper brings
cheerfulness to the heart of man.
When Hopper comes to town iaundice-eyed,
morose, and superiority sour-spirted, splenetic.
sullen men appear to throw of their humors and
enter into the frisky frivolities OF life with un-
dresmed-of interest and fervor.
When Hopper comes to town his smile cracks
the shell Of the reserved. ticles the ribs OF the
grave, eiectrifes the glum sends warm glow
through the veins of the frigid unbends the
naughty and diyerts the dignifed.
When Hopper comes to town neighbors cease
to quarrel and talk Of pleasant things wives well
come home their husbands as joyfully as does the
watchdog. while the contrary become softly
yielding and the contentious and peryerse grow
amiable and indulgent.
When Hopper comes to town he serves as a
human sugar bowl that sweetens the acerbitous
ambroslates the acrimonious, candies the grabbed
saecharnes the sour, confectionaries the vinegar
ish, treacles the styptic palatables the peppersh
and homes the hungry.
And so on ad infinitum.
The publicity promoter from whose peg
nant brain once came valuable variety of
fake" stories has become a thing of the
past. Dramatic editors still give space
to humorous lies which are sent In with
out pretence of seriousness, but the human
fib foundery in all his glory has been
practically relegated to New York. where
the dailles are so fearful of being beaten
by their rivals that they will accept any
thing that turns up. No one who follows
things theatrical can have forgotten the
famous milk bath anecdote which was re-
lated on Anna Held and has been claimed
by every agent in the country. Gotham
capitalists were nearly touched by the
clever syndicate that was formed In the
mind OF an insurance company's man with
the purpose of stimulating bids for Ham
merstein's Olympia. George Conn, OF this
city, first experimental with the stolen
jewel falsehood when he was in the pay
of Pauline Hall, while certain drowning
episodes at Far Rockaway, Tim Murphy's
last-year adventure with thief and Sam
j. Ryans curious horse will be handed
down in histrionic history as the work of
individuals who might have been bloated
brokers had their singular talents been
turned in the right direction.
A thoroughly able representative of this
day uses his imagination to better advan-
tage than in trumping up these tales-he