Morris tribune., 1899-01-28
a STUDY IN PIE EATERS.
The Observing Man DiScourses ON Various
Kinds In . Restaurant.

4
observing man in a quick lunch res
.aurant, "how different people eat
pie and what prompts them to eat
It'll"
"No; can't say that l have, re-
piled his friend.
"Well, have made study of it, :
| continued the observing man, land
mighty interesting, study / have
found it.
81 don't doubt that you have"
said his friend, "but / am too busy
a man to waste my time with such
tommyrot.
"Tommyrot nothing! Do you see
that man over therei Well, he's a
rock ribbed pie eater. I'll bet hat, =
resumed the thoughtful one, "he
eats pie now because he became SO
addicted to the habit long ago that
his system will not assimilate any
stronger food. I would wager a
house and lot against secondhand
pie that if YOU talked with him he
would tell you that the American
people eat too mucn meat OF course
he realizes at times that he should
not eat pie, but his system is so
much run down that he has not
strength of mind enough to resist
the temptation. Do you see that 9th.
er man over there?''
Eyes, sec him."
"He's only an occasional custom.
er. He is comparative stranger to
beaneries. He frequents them only
when he wants a quick lunch, and
he takes pie because he has vague
idea that pie is about all they sell.
Then, again, he knows pie, and he is
doubtful about the rest of the stuff
sold in these places. Five minutes
after he has had his lunch he
couldn't tell you what kind of pie
he had eaten to save his life. Now,
that other fellow in the corner eats
pie because it is filling for the mon
ey. That man seated next to him
eats pie from the force of habit. He
really wants only cup of coffee,
but he feels that he should order
something else, too, so he takes pie.
Look at that man who has Just
come in. He eats pie because he
likes it. He has no fear of dyspep-
STA, and he devours his pie with rel
ish Probably in a few minutes he
will be drinking lager beer in the
course of making a business deal.
You can't hurt men of this kind.
There is another kind of pie eater /
have noticed. He is the man who
eats pie with apologies. He likes
pie, but he thinks that it is unmanly
to eat such stuff. Then we have the
artistic pie eater. There is one of
the latter class over near the door
now. He eats pie with the most adj
mirable self poise, neither too slow
nor too fast. He does not show Ell
Their too much liking or Indifference
for pie. He eats pie because he likes
it, and he does not care who knows
it. "
well, say, how many kinds of
pie eaters are there anyhow
'Oh, lots more than ! have men,
toned, but it would take too much
time to describe them ALL There,
look at that young fellow with tho
faraway expression III his eyes. He
comes in here to eat pie because he
thinks that he is in love with the
pretty cashier. l could tell you of
other pie eaters, butt
mo, you couldn't en- your life! |
have missed an important engage.
ment now listening to your lecture
on the tiends. Let's get out. New |
York Tribune.
Growing GRANDMOTHER.
He was a wee little man, only years
old, but very brave, courageous and I'M
complaining, more courageous and I'M
complaining than any one knew, for
though he was only a baby he had trials
to bear. The family had gone to new /
country in the far west, the mamma,
this little man, and the sister, little
older 1t was very new country, very
different from the city in the east
where they had left many friends, rela-
tives and: nearest of all, dear old
The mamma was so busy
in her new home that she had little
time for the babies except to see that
they were clean and we'll fed So they
were lonesome, sometimes, as mamma
found out one day in way that
brought the tears to her eyes
The little 3-year-old had been very
busy and very quiet making big hole
in the ground with such earnestness of
purpose that she went to see what was