The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-11-30

theless, as Sim Fletcher's boarder
says Thanksgivins the day when
poultry an cramberries Gums int
season, with pies an things. an every
BODY thanks the Lord fer havin' good
appetites an. no indigestiple scrupies.
MOST ge1er'lly the's church on Thanks
sinn. but nobody goes as amt think
in o the high-kfiutin' preparations
goin' on t home, an wonderin' all the
time the bishops taikin' whether
Sairy salted the pertaters r put too
much seasonin in the dressin. Never
worried me much, but great cracky,
how Marthy did use L fidget,
Did | ever tell We bout last Thanks
givin'? Never did? Well, sir, there
were the greatest day / ever spent. 1
recklect me an Seth Claywell had jest
sold couple o. steers t Dad Woody.
an we kind o. felt like we wuz some
thin ahead Says 1: Seth. what d. We
say goin' int town an BLOWN our
selves? an l winked. 'Marthy's been
invited over [ the bishops l says, an
nobody ii be put out much, i reckon
Jest what 1 thought, says Seth.
quicker'n wink. but he says, all
my animals is down creek
Well l says, I've got the sorrel
colt that II carry US up, l reckon, 'thout
cuttln up any NV 'er monkey Shines
says.
SO we gets started next day purity
early. leavin' word L have Chef Robin
son cum over an do the milkin' that
night When we got int town we didn't
Sc no flags flynn r much carryin' on t
all, so Seth lowed we wuz bout day
ahead. Well, says /, .they's more'n
one way o. skinnin' a cat backwards
an up ! gets an asks a young chap if
this is Thanksgivin' r if the town wuz
dead, nachurlly. He tells me L cum
down out o the trance, an presumn'
he meant [ lick me the minute | steps
foot on ground. | jest set STILL Purity
soon we see lot o. fellers TIL hair re-
semblin cold slaw, an dressed in
new-fangled kind O. thick knee pants n
Jerseys. come runnin' down the street,
hollerin' like stuck pigs bout some
thin bein' raw. Raw, raw. raw is
bout all we could ketch Nv it, the rest
soundln like a base drum. Seth got
paler a ghost an I looked at him an
thout sayin word we turned round
an driv up the street s hard s the
hlly could go. Say says Seth. fin'lly,
1 reckon them wuz cannibals. don't We?
An that thing under the feller's arm
wuz bumshell. Yep says !. figurin'
on what they wuz dom in the middle o.
town We never did learn fer shure
jest what they wuz, but q felIer told
us they was team ceiebratin' game
o Rugby, which is kind o. shiny on
yer own side TIL football. It's mighty
true that it takes all kinds o. people
I make this world, but thank the Lord
I'm not enc w 'en.
We'll. we rived at the conclusion
after while tibet we'd take in the show
They WIZ one goin' on fer the benefit
o the poor. Ye know the city gives
one o these every little spell, L which
the bachelors and widows is envited
along til the orphans an their parents.
The shows is good. tn. only it's gen
er'liy singin. Opery. they calls il.
Seth got scared at a sputterin' an r.
swish upstairs, but the usher told him
It wuz only the calcimine lights, an we
set through it, but ! could see he wuz
gettin' mighty durn'd nervous.
But comm down t the dinner. We
went int French resturent-least I
concluded t was French r somethin',
cause every word on the dern'd page
they handed us ended in a a-i-s-e 'er a
eau. Pears they tried L get all the
voweis in / says t Seth. an jolxin'
the chap in a apron. 'Soup?' he says.
not payin' much 'tention, an layin'
down glass o. water n a towel. Seth
wuz goin' t deny the insult. but l kind
o soothed i'm over. What do We want?'
asked the hired girl Teller .Somethin'
eat / says, but he didn't make no
more [ get it. thinkin' the water wuz
plenty. Finlly we got tired o. waitin'
IN he did, tn. / reckon, so we gets
right upn pays 'em 20 cents an skinned
put fer hum. We got here Jest as the
plum puddin' wuz bein' put on over t
KY Evanses, an 1 reckon we layed to
the vittals hungriern steers. No. l
didn't calculate t go L town this year"