News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1899-01-18

settle YOUR QlUtT6DC6 llh6 CuIlsLi2llS Vi
will you fight like baTbarians:'
1.-THE presidents listened to my speech
in very respectful way, and when 1t
was ended old Almonte, who, as L after
ward learned, was the biggest card
tharp in Torrizonia, said that he cor
daily agreed with all his excellency
the United States minister had said
and that he was quite ready to play the
other three gentlemen for the presi-
dency. The other three didn't seem very
anxious to play, but first one OF them
and then another said that while he had
perfect confidence in the justice Of his
claim he would adopt my proposal,
feeling certain that the Blessed Virgin
would see him through all right. The
upshot was that they all sat down to
some unearthly Spanish American sort
of game that l never pretended to I'M
derstand and presently they were play
ing as quietly as you and | would play
if we had little game of dra ! on hand
with unlimited stakes and straight
flush barred.
81 sat at the end Of the table smoking
a cigar and saying to myself that was
a born diplomat and had made a splen-
did be- aning as minister to Torrizonla
Say what you will Of the presidents
they were gentlemen SO far as their
manners went, and nobody could have
been more polite than they were to one
another. By and by old Almonte smiled
or1 Who'd that
inasmuch as Garcia had revoked or done
something equivalent to revoking, he
was beaten and must consider himself
out of the game.
81 never in all my life saw man
pull his gun quicker than Garcia pulled
his, but, quick as he was, he had got in
only one shot when all the other three
presidents were on their feet and blaz-
ing away promiscuously at one another.
Naturally l dropped under the table, for
it would have been contrary to diplo-
matte etiquette for me to take a hand
in the shooting. All the same | hated
to be out Of it, for it was one Of the
liveliest difficulties | ever struck. 1t
didn't last over four or five minutes,
and by the end Of that time all four Of
the six shooters were empty, and all
four presidents were lying on the floor.
Then l got up and called the landlord,
and after we had found that nobody was
killed-though every man had from two
to five bullets in him-I called up the
marines, and they carried the presidents
to the hospital in a sort of procession.
Ny little plan for settling the presi-
Dental dispute hadn't PANIED out quite
as | expected, but it wasn't my fault
saw DIR. Moreno after he had examined
the wounded men, and he told me that
they would all recover, though they
would probably have to remain in the
hospital for several weeks. He said that
the government would be carried on in
the name of President Almonte, the chap
who had occupied the presidential man
sion, until such time as all the four
claimants were discharged from the
hospital.
" Il shall take the best of care of
them and maintain strict neutrality,
said the doctor, and | shall recommend
you to do the same hereafter. You've
tried to arrange things without blood
shed, and you've failed, and now your
best plan is to let those four fellows
fight their quarrel out according to the
laws and customs of Torrizonia.
1.-THE four presidents lay in the hos
pital exactly six weeks None of them
was severely wounded, and they might
all have been discharged after ten days
or q fortnight, but the doctor said that
not man should stir until his wound
had entirely healed. went to see the
presidents every day and got to be quite
friendly with the whole gang Of them.
l found out by their own confessions
that each man was bribing the doctor
to keep the others in the hospital. You
see that if one of the presidents could
| have got out of the hospital a day or
two in advance Of the others he would
have had a free field and could have
seized the presidency without any op.
position.
According to their account, those
four men must have paid the doctor an
average of $1,000 each in brides, and
each one thought that he was getting
his moneys worth and stealing march
on his rivals. The doctor, being prac.
tical man, took all the money that was
offered him and earned it honestly by
keeping the men in the hospital When
ever one of the presidents complained
that he was being kept in longer than
was necessary the doctor would tell
him that there were certain complica.
tions in his case that made it necessary
for him to remain in bed short time
longer, but at the same time he prom.
Used that under no circumstances would
he allow any one of his rivals to leave
the hospital in advance of him.
"Being Spanish-American, with a
native talent for lying in bed, and feel.
ing sure that the doctor would keep his
word about not letting any of the other
men out of hospital too early, each
president was middling we'll satisfied
with the way things shaped themselves.
They were all SO sure of the presidency
that they constantly bothered me tc
recognize them then and there, but ]
always put them off by saying that
had written home for instructions and
felt sure that my government would
direct me to recognize the best man.
| Evprv Ona Of the fOur told mo nou6dan+