Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1899-08-31


civil service order turning over 1000
fat offices to Republican spollsmen-a
feat that no man can accomplish. 1t
can't be defended; for, when President
Mckinley WAS inaagurated, he solemnly
assured a waiting world that no back
ward step must be taken ia the glori-
Gus and aesthetic theory of civil sery-
ice reform, and yet by his late order
he did take step back ward ii long
step so lobg indeed that FIVE or six
more such steps would absolutely OBJ
literate the entire system of civil sery-
ice reform New England transccn-
dentalists seek the unattainable. Ly-
man tried to accomplish the impossi-
BILE. hence his tears and bruises and
discontinue Mr.. McAneny made hun
the laughing stock of the civilizeI
world, and he did it with skill and dis
patch. No man can for long in this
world run with the hare and hold with
the hounds, as President Mckinley will
find out to his sorrow. A man cannot
receive the plaudits- and what is more
important to him, the votes-of civil
service reformers and at the same time
turn a wilderness of downy berths over
to the famished Republican heeIers. 1
am not saying whether the president
was right or wrong. but | am saying
that President Mckinley can no longer
pose as civil service reformer. 1
haven't the honor of an acquaintance
with Hon. George McAneny, but new
ertheless l must heartily congratulate
him upon doing tiptop job of skin
ming
So. after the slobbering which John
Bull and Mark Hanna have been doing
on each others shoulders, it appears
that one bullheaded Canadian. Sir
Wilfrid Latirier. is about to knock the
fat in the FIRE. lie really has the pre-
sumption to be in ii mood to have a
war with us over the klondike bound
airy line. This viii be awful news to
those Anglo lnaniacs who roll UP their
trousers because it is wet in London,
don't you know, but it is pleasant
reading to all those genuine Americans
who are opposed to that stupendous
folly-an English American alliance
and who from the beginning have
known that John Bulls love for us is =
hollow truce. Not that anybody with
good sense desires war, but because Sir
Wilfrid's attitude demonstrates thor
oughly what all sensible people well
understood before-to wit, that no ma
ton can be door neighbor to England
without being in perpetual hot water.
John Bull never can be cured of his
bad habit Of coveting other peoples
land On that subject he is incorrigf-
bic. But, much as he bankers after
our goldfields, we viii have no war
with him for two all sufficient reasons
ID we have thrashed him twice and
would delight to give him a third
dose, a heroic dose, of the same bitter
medicine; (2) we owe him something
like $7,0O0.000,000. In one hour after
war is declared congress, as a perfect
ly legitimate war measure, would con-
fiscate every cent of that Indebtedness.
John comprehends both these potent
aud patent facts most clearly, and he
will choke Sir Wilfrid Laurier off, and
we will have our way IN the Klondike,
unless the administration barters away
our rights on this continent to buy
Johns friendship in Asia SO think,
On the whole that the Anglo maniacs
can go on sucking the heads of their
canes, sticking monecles on their eyes,
rolling up their trousers and singing
lssGod Save the Queen" to their heart )
content We viii not twist the British
lions caudal apl,endage this summer
Lat would be too IN English, don't
you know But the time Is not far
distant when we will twist it, unless
that greedy beast learns better man
ners
Mark Hanna's CrOny.
My good Republican friend, Colonel
Charles F. Dick, member of congress
and chairman of Ohio Republican state
committee, Chesterfield statesman,
bosom crony of Mark Hanna, Journey
ed all the way to Washington appar-
emily for the purpose of assuring a
palpitating world that he had no de-
signs en- the curule chair now occupied
by Hon. J. j. Foraker, but that, ON the
contrary. he and Fire Alarm" are
Two souls with but a SINGLE thought,
Two hearts that beat as one
Now. this should be marked '.impor-
tant if true" and that ''if'' should be
printed in letters as big as those of
circus poster. If the Mississippi should
reverse its course and flow into Lake
Itasca, if it should show on the equa-
tor, if Mark Hanna should follow SEN
ator Chandler's advice and efface him
self, then it may come to pass that
Republicans in Ohio will cease to knife
each other and the goose will honk
high in Buckeyedom.
Colonel Dick is the Mark Tapley of
American politics and sees or seems to
see a great victory in store for the
Ohio Republicans this fall. That's such
cheerfulnesS as Charles Dickens never
dreamed of when he created Mark
Tapley. Colonel Dick lets the cat out
Of the bag when he comes, in his In
terview, to treat of Hon. John r. Nc
Leans candidacy for the Democratic
gubernatorial nomination and naiyely
remarks, Il really can't see why Mr.,
Mclean should consider the nomina=
tion for governor desirable unless it be
be that he is looking to its effect upon
his political standing next year and
the year after"
All! Brother Dick. you made center
shot that time and hit the bullseye
squarely in the center
That's precisely what Hon John r.
Mclean is looking to, and viii adYer-
tise you that he can see as far into a
milestone az the next one. Mclean
comes OF brainy. thrifty, ambitious,
successful race. He desires political
preferment He wants that guberna-
torial nomination because he believes
with his whole heart that the Demo
cratic nominee win win hands down
and that u vice presidential or perhaps
presidential nomination Is in sight for
the Democratic winner. hence John
RS longing and yearning for that nom
fnation And John r. is wise in his
day and generation. He viii make a
great killing il he bags that guberna-
torial nomination Individually.
would like TO see him get it. He is
fit. In the prime Of life. in fine health,
full Of vim. Of fine presence, with a
splendid home, possessed Of money
enough to nut up good fight he viii