The Washington weekly post., 1899-06-27

noUnce that Cwed you for several weeks
room rent and board. You nave The exac
number down on this paper. You nav
made no mistake about it. There Is not
/ assure you. the slightest cause for EN-
barrassment on either side. Observe no"
calm and placid / amH'
Il need the money, Major"
VERY likely. my dear WOman-very ike
-y-but even if you didn't the bill Is cor
rect and must be paid. 1t shall be pal1
I am a man Of sentiment bat / never Ie
! sentiment interfere with business 1oll
terms are reasonable. the outlook IRON
! these windows is all that could be desired
and years hence, as l accidentally com'
across this bill In MY desk, l shall reca-
your many acts OF kindness. Did yo'
wish TO see me- about anything in paraeu
lar this evening""
"The-the bill"
THE biH2 Exactly. The bill is corree
to a cent, and I am not disputing IL
thank YOU for your efforts IN my behalf
That is. l thank you for bringing up th'
bill. / shall treasure il. / shall guar
| il with Jealous care. And now that W.
have disposed OF il, let Us turn 10 some
| thing else My dear woman. this Is
cold and cruel world. but there is at leas
one man in it who does not forget his
friends. His name is
If you could pay me, Major" she IN
| terrupted.
His name is Mai. CrOfOot. Grand Pro
moter," continued the Major, as he iaiC
his hand upon his heart. In dim, unde
fined way it was known to you that
organize trusts. form syndicates, inauSu
rate enterprises, and evolve schemes from
| which millions of profit are made but no
until this moment was it known 10 yot
| that within three months you VIII De
| spoken of as one of the richest women II
the United States. In your dealings VIII
me as a Iandlady you have been strictly
Just, utterly Unselfish and teetOtally un-
| ENTHUSIASTICALLY. l have not saic
much about il. but your action has ap-
! peaIed to me, ana il gives me pleasure
| to inform you"
If l don't get the money from you
| can't pay my rent
1T gives me pleasure TO inform you, my
! dear woman, that the time has come
when / can reward you Yesterday my
| scheme-my latest enterprise was not faI
| enough advanced 10 take you in, or
| should have sent for you This evening II
| is perfected. You are taken in. You en-
/ tered this room as d landlady without
/ encouraging financial prospects. you leave
4 it as treasurer of one of the most gigaR
| tic mOney-making mOnOpOlies in the
| known world. and need not hesitate Ia
| order 100 tons of coal at once. Do not
! faint away madam-dO not call for the
! police in your excitement. You look al
nae in blank amazement, but let me make
| things a little clearer"
do i get my money!" she asked.
! Ten thousand times over, my dear
| woman-t-e-n thousand times. During the
/ last hour l have perfected the organiza-
/ ton Of the Great American Fly-BetrayeT
| Company. and while l am the President
/ and general manager of the same, here
! with tender you the office Of treasurer.
| / shall take no refusal. Your duties will
| be light. your salary $1,000 per year, and
| the stock. which you take al grOund-tioor
| figures will be at a premium of 200 per
| cent in less than three months. As you
| step from your humble abode TO order
! the 100 tons of coal l spoke of, kill seV-
eral birds with one stone by ordering dia-
| monds, sealskins, a victoria, and either
| articles of luxury at the same time. Tush!
! Tushl No thanks. You stood by Maj.
! CrOfoOt when ii would have embarrassed
! him to nav a weeks board bill, and now
| with millions in sight he sta xs by you"
| "But-Maior-" she began as he
| paused for breath.
| Let me explain. my dear treasurer"
| he blandly interrupted. You have seen
| sticky fiy-paper, of course? 1t comes in
/ sheets, Flies light on it and stick fast
and die Good thing, I'll admit, but I've
! got a better. Well put up the stuff in
/ cans, instead of spreading IT on paper.
! That gives all buyers a chance TO use up
all the old newspapers and magazines IN
! the house Stun can also be carried with
| you as you travel, and shipped 70 al
| countries in the world. 4 silver-handled
/ knife goes with each can to spread with.
| Can be spread on any kind of paper, or
used on the Vindowsills or dOOrsteps.
! Three OF four leaves from the family al
| manac warranted TO capture 100 flies To
| the leaf. One can properly distributed on
| the kitchen floor will yield a crop of 800
! cockroaches within twenty-fOUr hours.
| Makes no distinction between insects, but
/ captures them all. Owners Of cows have
! but 10 use the contents Of l0-cent can
along the spine and Z Thousand flies will
| cease 10 trouble. No fear OF the chill
dTen-"
| Mai. CrofOot, must have my money"
mo fear OF The children being poisoned
or the house blown up, and any child five
| years old can follow the instructions.
| Saves putting up screens at doors and
| windows, warranted to keep In any cIi-
| mate. and there's cents profit Oh every
! l0-cent can. There you are. madam, and
/ t-h-e-r-e you are and wen sell 5G,eJJ tons
( Of the Beyrayer as fast as il can o. pat
up. IL gu .Iyen't any old neWspa prs
] 1gFfR L - o.
| leaves .. o Jour Gospel Hymn Book OF
/ the Tisrims Erogress,' spread the Be
/ trayer on tiec-s OF old sheets or shin IT'S.
/ Worn-ouJ door mats and fragments f
| carpets can also be used. All Ike fiy
wants is To get al The stun, and the Ilin-
ute ne glighIs mis- doom Is seIieI One
/ 50-cent can is warranted 10 keep any
/ house clear of flies for three months.
| Treasure of the Great American FIy-Be-
trayer Company, l greet yol."
But ] car I run my mousse without 7 get
| my pay" persisted the oertIrbed and
| lady.
II greet you and ! congratulate YOU" 4"
continued the Major. Il shall At once be-
| gin advertising the merits Of our Fly-B--
| Jr4yer, contracting for Ingredients, cars.
| printing. &c, while you must get rcrdy
( 10 take care Of the cash receipts. No
I bond viii bA exacted. You nave ;.usted
NE and | snail trust you. Your salary
Will be payable monthly, and the div
Gends on your stock viii esme euar,erI,
as regularly a. clOck-wOFk Later On
| there viii be more particulars. Jut Won
| have my scheme and can begin ID est
ready for the position vou ere 20 fu
| Salary $1,000 a year-t-e-n thousand, and
quarterly dividends never less than -
per cent. That's all this evening. ana
| don't thank NEEDN'T do It. I snOuli not
| have been MAJ. CT0fo0t II had no. taken
| you in"
Ma iOT I insist"
| And goodnight 10 yOu-gO3i night Itrs
I a sudden surprise, but don't Ia l. unset
| YOU. II you are out Tomorrow d oder
| coal and diamonds and horses ypa rn;rhr
! price few residences Get The Ioy,s-r
cash ngures, and be careful that he
neighbcThO0d : eminently respectabI.
ExacIly-I understand-not a Word good
night
II Was Discourapinp.