New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-02-08
A Little Nonsense Nox, md her,
is Reiislssd BY tile Best of Men.


a Little Nonsense Nov and Taen sssS
Is Reilshsd ~ tie Bsst of Men.
This essay on 'Heads 3 iis accIe dited1
10 an s year old boy There ! q otaof.
kinds Of beds red beds, wooden heds,
soft heds, cabbage beds, l,awld beds and
so 4th. PAS got one, it's bawld ma
she's loag headed and pc, he's bull he'd
ed but I'm red NEEDED and level headed,
100. The smart end Of 4 boy Is he's, ex !
cept when he gets spanked, but the smart
end Of q bee is not there oh no. Pa says
il afeller has head he will get he'd
in the world, but / don't want no he'd
like he gets when he gets out with the
boys IL
a travelling man tells Of q tombstone
in illinois which bears a peculiar inscrip-
ton. Among the things q bereaved hns
band had carved upon the headstone was
the following: .sII1ord, she was Thine.
Remorseless time has wrought havoc:
with the slab Of marble and the letter
s.sste'' Of the last word is entirely effaced,
so that the reading of the sentence ls now
hardly complimentary to the departed.
a gentleman who IS very much inter
ssted in the raising Of hogs, and who
has become quite well known through
his introduction Of an excellent variety
among the farmers of the Northwest, is
said to have received letter recently
which looks SO many ways that he does
not know whether to be pleased with it
or not. 1t began 81 went yesterday to
the fair at A.. I found several pigs Of
your species. There was a larger variety
than usual and was surprised at not
seeing you there.
An Irishman made date with his
sweetheart, who failed to keep her word,
and this is. what he wrote her: y,. IA
My darlin Peggy met you last
night, and you never came! I'll meet
you again tonight, whether you come or.
whether you stop away. + I'm there
first, sure Til write my name on the. gale.
to tell you of it; and fits you that's
first why rub it out, darlln and no one
will be the wiser. I'll never fail to be
at the trystin place, Peggy; for, faith, ]
can't keep away from the spot where
you are. whether you're there or whether
you're not Your own Mike.
+ 4 +
An exchange says: It makes all the
difference in the world what kind i of q
burden man carries as to how he COM
plains. Twelve pounds of baby makes
some men tired unto death in less than
two hours, whereas $50 TBS. OF sweet
heart used to sit in the same lap from 8
%. m. to 1915 a. m, without q murmer
from the owner of the lap. Half mile
to church is long walk when q ten
mile tramp around a billiard hall is a
recreation, and it's quite q burden to go
back up town after supper on an erfan ran
for your wife, but it is refreshing to
stand on a street corner and talk politics
for couple hours.
The girl who fiirts with5a Whlskerless
goslin till he doesn't know whether he;
is floating in a sea Of champagne to the
sound Of celestial music, Sliding down a
creased rainbow or riding down the
ridge pole sof an aurora borealis, then
tells him she can only be a Christmas
present, opera ticket, ice cream sister to
him, who steals his unripe affections and
allows them to get frost bitten carrie r 8
him into the empyrean Of happy love e
only to drop him with q kerplunk { that q
fills his callow heart with compound
fracture well, she cannot be prosecut-
ed for petit larceny nor indicted for ma
licious mischief, but the unfortunate fel-
low who finally gets her will be g t 2
M ia heaven where there is neither mar
rying nor giving in marriage Ez.
DON'T Tell Them Where You Found Me.
The above lis the name of a new song
issued on the following incident The
Rev. 'rhos. Delaney, when Chaplain Of g
large State P enitentiary, while passing
through the Hospital Ward was called
TO the bedside Of d ying convict The l
last few words of the unfo .unase youth
were seFafher I see Won do not k now