The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1899-05-24
Colonel Wrinkler And the Goat.

About 2 o'clock the other morning
Colonel Bobby -Wrinkler, who resides
in West End, was awakened by his
wife.
He turned over, rubbed his eyes,
yawned, and inquired
EsWhats matter, wife ? What 8
matter ?"
ssMatter enough = replied the lady,
who was wide awake s'That COW,
man! She's just eating up all my rose
bushes-the yard-don' t you hear her?
Get up, man, and run her out-quick,
Wrinkler-now, please do go at once!'
The colonel arose languidly, and
slipping on his slippers, made his i'm
mediate exit at the front entrance in
his night robe. Picking his way eau
tiously upon the lawn and peering into
the darkness, he heard peculiar
snifle.
And the next moment the dim out
lines.of large, white male goat ap-
peared before him. Without the
slightest hesitation the goat reared on
his hind legs aud made lunge at the
colonel, who just had time to throw
up both hands and grab the animal by
the horns.
The goat pulled back, swayed for
ward, threw his body in the air, sniff
fed and snorted and finally began a
series Of jerks which made Wrinkler
dance around with intense alacrity.
The unhappy colonel frightened his
grip at every jerk, which made his
hands tingle and burn as though clasp
ing live wire.
eye gods!' muttered Wrinkler be-
tween his teeth, "but amt this the
devil Of fix? I'm afraid to,turn him
loose. He'd stab me in the back with
his horns before I could make the
door. Guess I'll have to hold him.
At times the animal would become
quiet. He then reared back and jump
ed forward in such rough and reck-
less way that Wrinkler kicked his
i
slippers off in the effort to hold him
down and was finally landed in his
bare feet on the graveled walk, putting
| and blowing, while the goat stood at
bay, his horns still firmly clutched.
Just then The voice Of his wife call
ed from the house:
"Why, man, haven't you driven
that cow out yet p
sCow, the very devil ! It's no COW
at all It's an internal goat, and we
are having the h-of a time out
here-but I'll conquer him yet-see if
I don't y
/. Here the goat landed his hind legs
in midair and tried to stand on his
head on the colonel's bosom.
Conquer him. responded his wife
in high soprano, 'swhy don't you run
him into the street ?''
"Shncks, woman" yelled Wrinkler,
"you must be wild !! Run him into
the street, the devil Just come out
here and look at US =
Mrs. Wrinkler at this time poked
her head out Of the window and hold
ing lamp to the front, looked.
"Well" she cried, "if that don't
beat the Eh eh! ! Why don't you
let the brute go and kick him out Of
the gate p
IT say it, woman Do you think ]
want to be murdered in my own
yard ?"
Here the goat beloved and showed
Wrinkler about ten feet over the SHARP
gravels.
"But you can outrun the old ras-
cal !" suggested the lady.
II tell you I can Il wouldn' t risk
turning him loose for million dol.
lars Dress quick and come out here
and throw something over me. I'm
about to freeze to death, aud besides
it will soon be daylight and people
will be passing.
Mrs. Wrinkler said ''All right.
She spent little lifetime adjusting
her apparel, and meantime Winklel
had his hands full, for as day began to
break the goat, shifting the fresh
morning air, became friskier than ever
and in addition to pulling and pushing
the old man up and down the gravel
walk, began to below.
This attracted the attention of a
policeman, who walked leisurely up to
the fence and after splitting on the
sidewalk, looked over.
"You see my position, said Wrink-
! ler.
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