The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1899-09-22
By ELDER PERRY, NJ. d.,
oi sassafras jungle. Hooppole Township
DUBOIS COnntN, IndIAnn.


Most people choose their doctors
as they do their sweethearts. They
know not why, but they follow a
prompting, and before they know
1t, they have a sweetheart or a doc
tor. Some choose a certain doctor
because he talks enough TO run a
clapboard-tactory, others choose
another because he don't talk any
thing. One doctor is chosen be-
cause he is dressy and stylish, an
other because he is as common a.
an old shoe; one doctor Is chosen
because he has such nice beard
another because he il clean of face
and carries no microbes or bed bugs
around in his beard one doctor
has long hair and is l,vely on that
account, and another has a pretty
bald pate, and 50 on. Wisdom and
Learning don't count for near as
much as tact and quackery.
! heard an old doctor say one
time, that no doctor would make a
great success in the practice of his
profession, unless he was somcw hat
OF quack himself. Barnum knew
what he was saying when he said
The people want to be humbug-
ged.'
Years ago | had a friend who
could express his wants in five diff
ferent kinds of languages, and he
had the reputation of being very
smart man. But he was not near
so smart as people believed him to
be, only he could make people be-
lieve he was very smart, and that
amounts to the same thing. 1t is
not what you are, but what YOU
can make people believe you are,
that counts. / know OF several peo-
pie who have skeletons locked up
at home in their closets, and vet
pass as model people.
In a conversation concerning rep
utatlon, which by the way it seem
ed to be the sole aim in life of this
friend of mine to acquire, he asked
me, how |, Elder Perry, Nj. D., of
Sassafras Jungle, would like to
have as great name as a physician
as DR.. Aver, of Cherry Pectoral
fame, had.
Upon my telling him that Ayers
fame depended upon his adver-
tising his wares in the newspapers,
and was one CT the same kind as
A. j. Stewards, the merchant
prince, our friend remarked, "well,
would you not be proud to have as
great name as DR.. Newman?n
DR.. Newman was notorious
quack, who had acquired his motor
lety by audacious lies and falsifica-
tlons.
Not long after this learned that
the same person, who posed before
the people as highly educated
man, had taken his little child, who
was afflicted with sore mouth.
called thrash, to an old woman, who
il was said, cured such things by
means of SYM athy. The fact is,
an educated man, whose mission on
earth was to enlighten other people,
should have known better than to
treat physical complaint, which
may have been caused by his ig-
norance of the simple laws of com
mon sense hygiene, by means of
Now, if that is an educated man IS
idea OF the reputation Of a doctor
what can one expect from the com
mon people?
Not long ago was called to treat
A child that had been badly burned,
and on proceeding to apply the
necessary remedies to the burns |
was requested to wait a minute, as
hey had sent for woman in the
who had the reputa-
)f being able to stop all pain i'm
burns by means of blabbing a few
words and making few motions
over the crying victim of the acci-
lent. was surprised at such nine
.e,nth century foolishness, and the
reader may be sure | made some of
those ears tingle concerning such
superstition. But it did no good,
and the old woman came. She did
40 good, of course, and it was the
asst heard of witchcrait in that
'amiiy.
Ii one takes into consideration
lhe patent medicines, whose fame
covers the newspapers and the
fences, the old women, whose no.
Ioriety covers the neighborhood
with teas and foolishness, the
luacks, the faithcurers, the chris
ian scientists, the witches, the sym
pathy-doctors, and everybody
knows-something about medicines,
{ is hard to tell what a Doctors
reallv cnnsists of