davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20
strung, frail-looking modern profess
sional man."


The London daily newspapers are
famous for queer advertisements-it
for nothing else. y personal which
appeared recently in one of them reads:
"Wanted-A respectable gentleman
widower preferred-to marry the house
keeper of an aged gentleman, who has
been an invalid for years, and who re.
spects her as q good and true servant
whom he would like to see in the happy
state of matrimony before he dies. She
has had three husbands, but is willing
for n fourth
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20
Fried Stuffed Eggs.

Boil eggs 20 minutes; put them i'm
mediately into cold water; when cold
remove the shell; cut them in half
lengthwise; carefully remove the yolk
rub them very smooth. To six boiled
eggs add one teaspoonful of melted
butter, one and half tablespoonfuls of
very finely chopped ham or tongue, salt
and pepper; fill the hollow of each
white, having the surface level; press
one half to another; dip in egg, then in
crumbs, then in eggs, then in crumbs
again; fry in hot deep fat; remove,
drain on a piece of paper, arrange on a
hot platter; serve with a cream sauce
made with one tablespoonful of butter
melted, one of flour; cook together; add
one cup Of milk, salt and pepper; let it
boil five minutes-St. Louis Republic.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20

afraid it might go Off All right said
Cannon, and with that he stuck his left
hand in his trousers pocket and began
to speak. Just as Cannon got warmed
up he got excited at the sound of his
own voice, and out came his left fore
finger, and instantly he was pointing
it with deadly emphasis at Cox. Mr..
Speaker said the latter, breaking into
Cannon's speech, the gentleman has
broken his contract, and [ refuse to
yield him the floor any longer and
Cox went on in his best vein and gave
Cannon pretty lively faying. The
house burst into roars, and it was a
good joke for a month"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20
Elasticity of English.

Where does the slang of the day originate ?
When new verbal monstrosity comes into
currency its origin is as mysterious as its
effect is startling. On a roof garden list
night. weary looking youth in straw nat
puffs beneath his eyes, released two strsws
from his mouth long enough to remark, hn-
guidly, that he was suffering from horrible
case of the ding bats" His companion,
who looked like vaudeville Lady, had just
remarked in tone loud enough to be heard
by her neighbors, that one of the performers
was "a useless bunch of trousers" G..e
the object of her criticism was professionally
incompetent. It's great language.-N. Y.
Commercial Adyertiser
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20
Slightly Mixed.

Nellie" said mother to her little
daughter, Il wish you would run over
and see how old Mrs. Smith is. She has
been quite ILL.,"
In few minutes Nellie came running
back and reported. "She said to tell
you it was none Of your business"
why, Nellie said the astonished
mother, what did you ask her?'
Just what you told me to- replied
the little innocent. Il told her YOU
wanted to know how old she ,fas.n.-
Baltimore Sun.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20

enter the car and lock the door. Tay-
lor rose Immediately to his feet and
demanded to know why they were being
locked in like lot of prisoners.
Everybody keep their seats!" cried
the brakeman.
unlock that door Immediately" de-
manded Taylor.
"Pa-ardner, you'd better unlock that
door immeiitly," drawled out the cow
boy, emphasizing his request with
flourish of an immense siX-shooter hav-
ing an 1s-inch gun barrel.
Tell us what's the matter" said Tay-
lor, who was looked upon by common
consent as the spokesman for all the
passengers in the car. "Tell US what's
the matter, and don't keep us here like
a lot of boys at school. We will do
what you want us to do If we are in
danger, but don't lock us in"
Tell us wha-at's the matter, pa-ard-
ner," echoed the buckskin-clad giant of
the plains, without showing enough
concern to remove his cigar from his
mouth or rising from his seat, but still
toying with his miniature cannon.
well, you see" explained the brake
man, were in a food. There's been
washout around here and the track is
under water. The conductor ordered
me to lock the doors so that the pas
sengers wouldn't crowd out and make
matters worse"
''WelI, you tell your conductor" re-
piled Taylor, that the passengers on
this train will take care to be orderly
and will not upset the cars, but we
won't be drowned here like rats in
hole, so unlock that door Immediately,
do you hear?'
The brakeman hesitated between a
desire to obey orders and fear of the
battery trained upon his anatomy.
unlock that door immejetly, pa-ard-
ner," put in the armed echo.
So at last the door was unlocked.
II think you'd better be committee
o one, pa-ardner." said the cowboy to
the deputy sheriff, ito prospect along
to'ards the front an see what kind of
deal they have put up on us. But be
car'ful not to upset the car, pa-ardner,"
he added, with Il merry twinkle in his
gray eyes.
When Mr.. Taylor got to the platform
he found that they were indeed in
flood, and flood of no mean proper
tons, although there was no current
and no immediate danger. The water
was deep enough to reach the level of
the car floor, and as far as the eye could
reach on one side and for mile or more
on the other side there was lake of
water without sign of habitation, or
even a tree or hill to give variety to
the scene. They were at sea in a rail
way passenger coach. The conductor
announced that there was nothing to
do but wait until they could send a
man ahead to the next station, eight
miles further on, from which place an
other locomotive would be sent back
to pull the shipwrecked train out of
its bath tub, for the waters had eXtin-
guished the fires of the engine which
had hauled them thus far.
But what made the incident most
noteworthy, increasing the ludicrous-
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20
Pink Gooseberry Jelly.

With this recipe the fruit is divided.
Gather when as near ripe as can be TO
keep the green color. Take half, and
mash the gooseberries with a spoon
while cooking as for fruit jelly. Strain
and let it form rich pink jelly. 1t is
very pretty, either with the green bcr-
ries Embedded, or alone. BE sure to use
enough sugar, as the fruit is so tart or
acid. The breaking of the skin seems t.
cause the difference in color.---Ladies
World
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20
Gorgeous Check Books

One of the New York banks where
most Of the fashionable ladies keep
their accounts issues most gorgeous
check books 10 its depositors. On the
cover is the owners monogram, while
the checks are printed in void from ex-
quisitely-engrayed plates
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20
Makes That n Business.

Pilson-Are you going to take part in that
guessing contest?
Dilson-Oh, no; they'd rule me out as a
professional"
professionally
"Yts; you know | am connected with the
weather bureau. Ohio State journal.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20

ness of the situation by many degrees,
was the sight of n large sign which
was fastened to pole near where the
train had come to standStill and which
appeared as the only thing living or
dead which held its head up out of the
surrounding waters. The sign read:
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20
Your Vacation

strife of the dirty city. A week or two at
one of the beautiful country Lakes easily
reached via Wisconsin Central Lines will do
you world of good. Send for Rambles in
Summer Land which tells you how TO gain
rest and comfort. Jas. c. Pond, Gen Pass.
Agt., Milwaukee, Wis.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20
Oklahoma

Offers splendid inducements to homeseekers.
The Frisco Line reaches the most important
localities in the territory, and takes you
through to Oklahoma City without change
OF cars. 1t is the shortest and most desir-
able route, Write for descriptive literature
to Bryan Snyder, G. p. A, st. Louis, Mo.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20
A New Game.

McSwatters-I hear that you put a stop
to your wife's going through your pockets.
McSwitters-Yes.
How do you work it?
.Put tacks in your pockets. berlin
Md Herald
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20
Afraid of AmeriCnn

Ever since the Wild West show APP
peared in Buda-Pesth the citizens be-
lieve that every American carries re-
volver. Not long ago three Americans
were sitting at table in music hall,
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20

Bacon--T can't understand why your
wife calls that Wagnerian stuff heavenly
music" Egbert-"Because it sounds like
thunder, l suppose -Yonkers Statesman.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20
April sd. 1890.

April sd, 1899.
Pe.ru-na Drug Mfg Co., Columbus, O.:
Gentlemen find Pe-ru-na to be an
excellent remedy for the catarrhal af-
fections of spring and summer, and
those who suffer from depression from the
heat of the summer will find no remedy the
equal of Pe-ru-na.
Judson w. Lyons.
No man is better known in the financial
world than Judson W Lyons. His name
on every piece OF money of recent date,
makes his signature one of the most familiar
ones in the United States. Hon. Lyons
address is Augusta, Ga. He is member of
the National Republican Committee, and is
g prominent and influential politician. He
is particular friend of President Mckinley.
Remember that cholera morbus, cholera
infantum, summer complaint, bilious collie,
diarrhoea and dysentery are each and all
catarrh of the bowels. Catarrh is the only
correct name for these affections. Pe-ru-na
is an absolute specific for these ailments,
which are so common in summer. DR.. Hart.
man, in practice Of over forty years, never
lost single case Of cholera infantUm, dysen-
terry, diarrhoea, or cholera morbus, and his
only remedy was Peru-na. Those desiring
further particulars should send for free
copy of Summer Catarrh." Address DR..
Hartman, Columbus, o.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20
Slightly Mixed.

Mrs. Henpeck-The Episcopal funeral
service is so beautiful! l want it read over
me when | die.
Mr.. Henpeck-Certainly There's some
thing in it about Here endeth the first
lesson" isn't there kansas City indie
pendent.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20

The man who doesn't believe in signs il
liable to get fresh paint on his clothes.-
PHILADELPHIA Record
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20

The man who goes through life alone gen.
orally has poor ompany.-Chicago Daily
News
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20

So much of the happiness of life depend.
on whether you will give up your solo for q
part in the chorus Rams Horn.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20

Keeping at it" is a mighty good substi.
tute for real genius.-L. 4. w. Bulletin.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20

The scarcity of men should never result
in making poor one more desirable. but it
unfortunately does.-Atchison Globe
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20

After physicians had given me up, was
saved by Piso's Cure.-Raph Erieg, Will
Transport, Pa Nov. %, 1893.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20

1t is good thing to be man of one idea,
providing the idea is big enough.-Ram 5
Horn.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-20

To Cure a Cold in One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. AL.
druggists refund money if it fails to cure. 25c.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1899-03-17
Ills Denomination.

Al the close Of services one Sunday
morning the pastor of a city church
went down the aisle. as was his Gus
tom. TO greet the strangers IN the con-
preration. You are not q member 81
oar church" he said to one Of them.
NO. sir" replied the stranger
do YOU belong any denomination
may ! ask"
Well responded the other. hesitat-
irrly. I'm what you might call sub
merged Presby terrain.
"Ilow j. that?'
II was brought up Pres byierlan'
my wife is Methodist. my eide 81
daughter Is Baptist my son i the
oroanist at Iniversalist church. my
second daughter sings in an Episcopai
choir. and my youngest goes 70 on
grepational Sunday school.
"nut YOU contribute. doubtless, 10
some one church?
~Ycs. contribute. to all OF them
That * partly what submcrges me. =
Youths Companion.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1899-03-17

and his advertising appropriation was
five dollars. Three years ago he orig
mated the now familiar Cascarets that
work while you sleep" and this year
he employs over 200 people, including
tw, aty stenographers and typewriters
and a system of ten graphophones. HIS
new paper advertising investments
are over 100000 year, and he IS
counted as one Of the greatest
practical because successful. au-
thoritics on the science Of adNer-
Using in the world. His delight is
40 see the working Of the enormous adj
yertisiAg machine which he set in mo-
don few years ago. ana his ambition
is best illustrated by an expression
made use Of TO friend recently lie
said: My boy. Wen get rich wheh we
make money faster than we can spend
IL for advertising"
Besides his proprietary enterprises,
MIR. Kramer scored another great BUSH
ness success In the Magnu-Mud baths OF
Indiana Mineral Springs. Ind. where
treatment for rheumatism i obtained
The place was mere wilderness IN The
hills 81 Indiana q few years ago. bat ma
ture had provided the material. mud
and lithia water. for the cure. and Mr.
Kramer appreciated its possibilities al
first sight To-day there i AZ the lndi'
ana Mineral Springs Sa5o.0eo plant a
hotels. lighthouses and cottages. elec-
tric-lghtcd. steam-hoaicd. with beau
fifttl mark surroundings.
MIR kramer y only thiriy-siN years
cid ana his energy and vitality have not
Vet reached their climax. Many lead
inc business men Of America have oeen
rlad to Join in his enterprises. display
ing the highest confidence IN q great ~
ture which This mans remarkable ad
vcrtising genius and capacity for worl
will bring forth.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1899-03-17
pARAGRA PHIC POINTERS.

The gist Of the report Of Mr.. Nc
Kinley's late war inquiry board was:
There was very bad management, but
the managers were not to blame. st.
Louis Republic.
1t is the opinion Of the war inves-
tigators that the war department
lacked the requisite grasp during the
war with Spain. Still, the head of II
has somehow managed TO hold on ever
since. There are grasps ard grasps, 1T
would seem.-Boston Herald.
President Mckinley ascribes our
present perplexites in the Philippines
TO Providence. lie must be lineal de-
sccndant Of those plausible folk Of an
earlier time who always found IL con-
vencnt and soothing to attribute ev-
crything trying and Disappointing TO
"specrits." a short stroll in memory's
ases will call up some things that do
not entirely confirm the chief execu-
tive's explanation of the unforeseen
extending Of the scope Of the war. and
Of the painful developments OF the
present month In the distant Philip
pines. Detroit Free Press
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1899-03-17
nv AUNT POLLY.

...nest grass. the sweetest Mowers.
IN 4t Aunt Polly Is door.
.r.,lrs. miles around. Aunt Poi
s orchard pore' a,,, ,or
A'' .ks "A wondrous size.
t.l.z smith the hired man, was WHY
.,tt and wise.
$500 Al go with Jabe al hikh'' Win c'nA-
Irc pals 10 milk.
l.,r,. he'd lct me ited the COTS anu
rtni hcir coats OF SILK
,,non that rose In those days, just
mind the cattle bars.
D.as large as II is now-with twice
many stars
DAM, was a quaint old soul-a busy
In. honey up for all. with never
thought OF pay ,, 49,,
.,..av dawns we watched the SUM- up
rising ia the east
-te away the mist
,.re.d arrows pierced the gloom OF
N,v. wood and nook.
rt Cocks of crimson rode the CLOUDS
I'D tumbl,d in the brook
l.k win cheer the apples hue, the
rpkins and the squash,
AUNT POLLY would eNclaim. What
rfs cl day TO wash!
Au II incense then would rise
n,I.ar Aunt rolly's tub.
MIS- sky her heart gave prais' with
l-ei,ansiug rub,
note. no poets sons more
fal than the tune
anu while her linen white upon
IrI4s laA strewn
faithful. gentle. entered long
l reward
s face has slept for years be.
H. churchvard sward
vntI another day more per.
riehf and glad
ne rubbed the snowy clothes
stood bN--a lad.
SuNrN. iu Youths Companion.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1899-03-17
COMING GENERATIONS.
Questions Which VIII Naturally Ocs
cur to Thinkers Few
Years Hence.

Why did the industrial classes allow
themselves 10 lie exploited.
By what process were the laboring
classes kept in ignorance Of their con-
dition so long?
Did Americans think country ruled
by putocracy was government of the
people?
Why did the succeeding generations
Of America ignore the objects for which
a preceding one neutrality-suspicious..
life and liberty?
Why did they not make the declara-
ton Of independence practical fact
and realize the possible blessings OF
self-governmcnt?
Why were they so interested in the
welfare Of Cubans and Armenians and
so blind to the iniquities and injustice
practiced in America?
why were the working classes so
ungrateful to those among them who
championed their cause?
WHY did the working classes elect
capitalists and professional office seek
err TO represent them in legislative
bodies?
What kept the industrial classes so
ignorant Of the science OF political
economy in the schools?
Why did the working people vote
such magnificent salaries TO their rep
rescntatives in Office and accept such
pittance for their own services?
Was the condition of the wage slave
better than the condition Of the chat
tel slave?
How did the millions of unemployed
those in condition of enforced idle.
ness. live?
Did the poor compete among them
selves (for places to work. by offering
to work for less wages than Others re-
ceiyed ?-Clarence G.. Allen.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1899-03-17

Y ~ swinmn'. II YOU tumble
nard some bndy'll throw a line an
an there is to it, Now. the best
aANmrrS ever knew al'us got
sr ANed They ret foolhardN when
kuow how ter swim. an then some
ihey 90 down aud don't come up
don't swim. an they al'us get
out ter me in 4 hurry. I've been
board in about every port YOU can
inn. an amt dead yet. The boys
Keeps watchful eye on me, know
nN iailin'. an when they see me
lcA up an stariin' fur the wafer
ies' shy: There goes Mac; get
ope ready Then they let IN,
ale in fur the sake Of hauln' mc
itr warming up with the beverage
q salt sea sailor considers essen.
~ health after dousng in the wa
Nackey and his friend wandered
hN the water front.
sw. on the last trip with the Mary
tumbcd overheard three times
half--oncc in Boston harbor. 10th
ny AZ sea. an the last time down
oai Ics' afore We got up to Guvnors
t"t.' Mackey continued. An the
Oh. that was Off Cape Cod. II
cold night jes' aforc Christmas
y my watch had to take 4 drink ic
warm. | guess must hev taker
fup too much. ies' had sens,
gl 10 know that was startn' ful
water. | knew then | was lost |
fh'noay didn't see me. So les LEI
o'l Wild yell that could be heard I
' away. couldn't stop. so strong
III he fascination Of the water fur me
les' tumbled overheard as hecrt
-! mates come runnin' up the compan
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1899-03-17
THE ISSUE FOR NEXT YEAR
Gold standard Democrats VIII pnvs
10 Vote for n Republican
Again.

The views OF Senator j. n. Jones,
chairman of the national democratic
executive committee, are simply in
the line OF national development.
The great issue before the people OF
any country is that OF the greatest in
sernal importance. In the shrinkage OK
values which have taken place in this
country during the last 20 years the
people have recognized the hand OF ad-
verse financial legislation. According
as the currents of money supply were
cut of. paralysis spread into every line
Of business, first attacking the produc-
tive industries and the farm. and finally
destroying the prosperity of cities and
large financial institutions. Spurts OF
prosperity have come TO the country be-
tween times, owing TO the wonderfully
recuperative character OF our country,
but still, in spite of abundant nature
and intense individual industry, no per-
manent prosperity has come.
The political parties which started
out Handicapped by the leadership OF
Wall street on both sides have finally
taken position as to what the remedy
must be. The republican party, after
|. period of lodging under the cover OF
international agreement, has finally
drifted away into the extreme gold
standard policy. The democratic
party. having effectually shaken or
the "old men OF the sea-" who were
weighing i, down, has declared for a
wholesale and thorough financial re-
form. which can only be brought about
bv a return to the money OF the consti-
tuition. Notwithstanding the ntrench-
Z ments OF the money power within It's
ranks. il succeeded in casting them
out and polling nearly 100000 votes.
That such fight as this should have
been waged, with the result Of attract
, ing so large vote, is evidence Of toe
! strong a position to be surrendered at
7 the bidding of the enemy, or IN con
sequence OF bogus issues set up by the
enemy. and is not for one moment TO be
f, considered. The democratic party, IN
I national convention, has declared its
, faith, which has been Endorsed by
{ larger vote than was ever cast for !
e democratic issue before. When the PEG
y pie meet agail. II rational convention
they will meet witt mil knowledge o
e their strength and Of Tie r'ghteousnes
( Of their cause, and it is safe to say tina
e they will meet the enemy in the cam
e paign of 1900 on the same ground upol
y which they were met in 1896, and tina
Il they Will win
q Chairman Jones. therefore. in max
e ing the statement which he does, doe
D. not need the gift of prophecy for so de
e. claring. because the issues are nov 5
o fixed as TO be beyond the power OF an
il man 10 change them. Those who wan
d the gold standard will have TO vote fo
~ the republican nominee to get il. Will
the democratic platform will stand q
e. already written.-Atlanta Constit'
ne tion.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1899-03-17
AN ADVERTISING GENIUS.
Harry l.. Kramer Invests a rbousnno
Dollars Every Day for News
paper Advertising.

The young man whose portrait is hero
printed is living. breathing illustra-
non OF the success which can he OBJ
tanned by practical faith and persistent
and judicious investment in newspaper
advertising. Mr.. Kramer only few
years ago, without capital. started in a
most modest way, advertising in news
papers the merit OF tobacco habit
cure. building up an enormous mail or
der business for that successful specific.
His original line, Don't tobacco
spit and smoke your life away
through the medium OF newspa-
pers became known throughout
the English-speaking world. and
brought in unprecedented results. The
secret Of his advertising method is RE
Investment" When Mr.. Kramer ran
his first little advertisement ten years
ago his capital was less than one hum
dred dollars. lie wrote the order on .
rented typewriter operated by himself