The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1899-08-11
FACTS AND FANCIES.

TIicks-"You may laugh at Henderson,
WickS-"lll go further aud admit that
it is microscopic. Boston Transcript.
Browne-"Waiter, bring me a dozen
oysters on the half-shell.' Waiter
Sorry. sab. but Yves all out of shcllhsh,
Sah 'ceptin' aigs. Rochester Union and
ADVERTISER.
\ Literary Pursuit Hoxey-''That
young chap in the golf suit writes for Il
living, The Lady-"For the maya
father. Life.
rrotting Thomas-"l wish l could turn
myself into Il rumor for Il few moments"
Walking William-"What for?" why,
they say rumor gains currency. on
krrS Statesman.
Mamma -"SuSie, what do you mean by
all this noise? See how quiet Willie is"
SuSie-"Of course he's quiet, ma-that's
our game. He's papa coming home late
and I'm YOU. "-TitRits.
DO yer behave there's luck in a horse
shoe. DenniS?'
Not il bit. Norah hung wan over the
chiderS cradle an it fell an bruk his
nose, "-Roston Commercial Bulletin.
Laura-"rhr furtuneteller said Miss
Elderly was to be married soon.'
Flora-"ro whom"
Laura-"l don't know The poor girl
WAS 50 happy she forgot to ask.
\ Wise Woman: Mrs. Newed-"Oh,
Jack, the cook was in such an ugly
mood today thought it best to call in a
pulictman.' Newtu taStoun,ledl-"Wh at!
To arrest her?' "Oh, no, to pacify her.
Brooklyn Life.
.\u,hor--"Yeu have no idea how many
stamps l use posting my manuscripts to
Various t,liturS.
Critic-"\,ry likely. l think there
ought to be excursion tickets for manu-
scripts ut reduced rates. "-'ritB Bits.
THE WAVES ARE NOT THE ONLY
ONES.
What are the wild waves saying. Win?'
Softly inquired his sweet little peach.
Il can't just tell he dreamily unused.
But it's something about going broke on
the beach.
She-"How that woman we just passed
does hate me.
Ht--"She looked pleasant enough:
you noticed she never turned to take in
my new suit and hat. "-Detroit Free
Press.
Mr.. White" said a lawyer to Il wit
ness i'll the box. at the time these pa
p.r> We're executed you We're specializing,
were YOU not:" Yes. sir You were
in uil:" Il was" And what are you
in n"w?" bankruptcy, was the sol
.mn rcply.-Tit Bits.
It's a wise child that knows its own
father. says the New York Sun. They
her 4-year-oll boy-when the fond father
came out of the water and beckuncl tI
his little son. oh. mamma, look" he
said, That man there wants me-
AMATEUR SpnrtSman-"Wh hat did
bring down, r3t:''
pat-"Your dog, sur; blew his head all
Amateur Sport$man-"Wherc the
hirl:'
Pat -"I'i,kin' 1T the dog, ur''-Har-
lem Life.
Father 'to son. from whom he has just
accepted ciyar'-"Exrel'ent: How
much did you Iay:, Son-"rhey'rs,
content myself with two for a nickel
THAT different matter. If had as
large a family as you to support |
shouldn't smoke at all."-I.ifc.
ByrneTumber-"l heard comment
MP at the Nca,lemy today upon that
painting Of yours, The Harvesters'
N. Observation-Disclosures"
nt-Tumher-''I can't decide. \ rus
ticlooking visitor glanced at it for few
moments and remarked that it made him
red."-Standartl and Catholic Times
At Il recent party in Shepherds Bush
young lady began song: The Au-
tumn days have come, ten thousand
leaves arc falling"
She began too high.
Ten thou-ousand-'' she screamed
and then stepped.
Start her ut FIVE thousand!'' cried an
aucticnetr. who waS preSrat.-Iit-Bit
\ funny incident happened during j.:
performance of Macbeth in Dublin. II
the Sleep-walkin@ scene, when the nurse
and the doctor appear on the stage to-
gether and confabulate with one another
Il loud voice suddenly called out from the
gallery. causing Il roar of laughter in the
middle Of Il most serious scene: We'll
doctor. Is it I; boy Or girl?'-Tit- Bits
The Change She Needed-Mr. Club
man 'appearng at the breakfast tabl,
for the first time in Il month)-''You ar,
looking depressed and discontinued, dear
l believe you require change
Mrs. Clubman--"I am we'll aware O
that. John, but l can't get it without
going through the distasteful notoriety O
divorce proceedings. '-Richmond Dis
patch.
Getting Even.-"Oh, yes" said til.
sticky man with the square jaw, my
married life IS quite. a HAPPY; one
Glad to hear it, said the thin MAJ
with the thin hair. Got any particular
Sy>tem!"
We'll, yes. Whenever my wife get.
into a tantrum | go out and find thu
fellow who introduced us and give him
another licking. '-Indianapolis Journal
Children and Dirt.
The mother who would have her chill
dren healthy must not be afraid to hav,
them occasionally dirty. While cleanli
hess is akin to godliness, there is a cleal
dirt that comes from contact with tn
sweet earth that is NhneSnmp Have tn