davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-09
4 a1,llion 11i1lion.

Prof. Wagstan. whose very name
suggests pleasing first cousinship to
@akespeare, has lately been amusing
'mse.f and his audience at Gresham
College by speculations as to what
might have happened~if the father Of
our human race had given up delving
and taken to figures. Let us suppose
that Adam had set himself to count
million million. or, in figures. 1.oo0.-
100000. We will imagine that he
could count three in a second, which,
though not exactly rapid ciphering.
will be found ample, IL taken continu-
ously. Now, II 5000 years have elapsed
since the gracious amenities Of Eden
formed the cradle Of humanity, Adam
would have been working for 1s9, 216,-
600 seconds, and have reached a total
Of b67, 64S.000,000 figures. In other
words, his task Of counting a million
millions would still have been unac-
complished by over 100000. 000.000 Of
digits.
All Of which goes to prove what?
There are many possible conclusions.
The first is, Of course, that Prof. Wag-
stan Is a very ingenious and by no
means melancholy mathematician, but
that hardly needed proof. A second de-
duction, which we advance with all hui
mil1ty. Is that II Adam had only had
haoitual recourse to harmless dissipa-
ton of this arithmetical kind, instead
OF betraying marital weakness and a
fondness for fruit, his descendants
would have been very much better off
morally and spiritually, though not,
perhaps. in material comforts. And a
third conclusion, eminently gratifying
to those who refuse to believe that
there is any serious discord between
religion and science, is that Prof. Wag-
stan, no doubt a man Of distinction in
scientific attainments, accepts without
any demur Bishop Ussher's chronol-
ogy.
According to the divine, the world
was created in 1904 B. c., and that
added to the 1898 years which have
elapsed since the Christian era, makes
~S"A uuAUcIS Iue S1A IAouSoAo
years on which the whole calculation
depends. Some hayward scientist"
have dogmatically affirmed that the
world has been wagging along a good
many more centuries than USHER sup
posed, although there is a serious diff
ference, it is true, in his matter be-
tween the astronomers and the geol-
ogists. So. after all, perhaps if Adam
had been reasonably industrious, he
would have had time to accomplish his
task, unless his brain had given way
under the strain. Most OF US have
such vague ideas as to the meaning
OF larger figures that it is as well to be
reminded by SO happy an illustration
how many units go to the making OF
a million. The only other conceivable
fashion in which such instruction could
be acquired is to become South Afri-
can boss" Of mines and diamonds, and
that process, much as we may desire it,
Is, fortunately or unfortunately, not
open to the majority Of us.-London
Telegraph.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-09

shows that but half the food Is con
sumed and that the egg production. IL
more than doubled. With eggs worth
26c . dozen at that season Of the year
and food at the ordinary prices, It
should seem that It would not only
be economy to heat the poultry house,
but would be q source Of great profit,
especially after arrangements had once
been completed 20 that it would re-
auire but little extra work"
II there ever was q more polntless
experiment than this we would like
to know about 1t. This comparison is
made with two periods Of laying, ono
from, December to Goth Of January.
and the other one from the Goth of
January, when the stove was put in, up
to the last Of April. The conclusions
drawn that all Of the extra eggs are
que to artificial heat is an absurdity.
every poultryman knows that all
through this section of the country few.
eggs are received in the period from
the LIST Of December to the Goth Of jan
uary, while about that time laying
commences, in spite Of cold weather,
and continues except in periods OF
great cold. The only fair test would
De to take two lots of poultry and keep
tnem through the entire winter under
respective conditions Of artificial heat
and no artificial heat. The conclusion
that heating by stoves will pay largely
IS not to be accepted without further
proof. 1t certainly will not pay in the
latitude Of Illinois. In the extreme
regions Of Dakota and Minnesota, it
might Day. but that remains to be
demonstrated.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-09

There was time, before dining cars
became fad, that the Baltimore and
Ohio Rail Roads "Queen City HOTEL"
at Cumberland, Nd, was noted for its
service and cuisine. In latter years,
the reputation declined, as few travel
ers partook of sustenance at the long
tables in the big dining room. But an
effort is to be made to restore the repu-
tation Of the seventies and eighties, and
the hosiery has been placed in charge
of j. N. Shattuck, who has been Dining
Car Superintendent of several big
Western roads. Considerable money
will be spent on the hotel, and it will
again try for first-class patronage.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-09

ease germs. noxtous gases, disagreeable
tastes and odors. The water, upon en-
tering the inlet pipe, IL conveyed to the
top Of the filter. where It passes through
q very fne-mesh sieve, with view Of
catching the larger foreign particles,
and. after leaving the sieve, it is
brought into direct contract and forced
to pass through two perforated metal
lie plates, both charged with the cleo
trio current. which causes thorough
loosening and precipitation Of the for
sign inorganic matter and the positive
killing and destruction Of all live mat
ter. In order to cleanse the litter It
10 only necessary to reverse the stream.
q In the ordinary types of filters.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-09
Purified hx Electricitx.

The value Of electricity as a means
OF purifying water has long been
known, but it is only recently that the
current has been applied to clearing
water, in small quantities for house
hold use. Such filter is shown here
with. The current has, it is claimed,
the power Of decomposing and destroy
ing all existing heterogeneous, dis
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-09
Literally Sneakinr-

Mrs. Secondtrip-You are just tho
meanest man alive.
Mr. Secondtrip-Well, there is one
consolation. l presume that may .D-
fer that the late lamented was meaner
than l am.-Indianapolis Journal.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-09
PATENTs.

Northwestern Inventors
John A. Anderson, Austin, Mimi,
bag holder; Samuel Desoe, Willow
City, N. D.; hay rack; Fred c. Koke,
Mankato, MIMI, purifier and roller
mill feeding machine; Charles w. NAL
lory, Flandreau, s. D., wire stitching
machine; William Pepperling, Aitkin,
Mimi, steam engine; Joseph Torker,
Brockway, Mimi, clock winding indi-
Gator; Edwin G. Washburn, Minneapo-
lis, Mimi, bolt (design.)
Aerwin. Lothrop & johnson. Patent At
torneys. 90 Pioneer Press Bldg. st. Paul
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-09
At the School Board.

1nspector-Now. can any of you chill
dren state what is likely to be the IN,
ture of China?
One maiden (after a pause)ePleaseL
sir father says China's like him.
lnspector-Like him? What do you
mean?
The Maiden-Sure to be broken By
the force of circumstances.
Class dismissed mmediate1y.-Punch
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-09
Do Your Feet Ache ana Burn.

Shake into your shoes, Aliens Foot
Ease. powder for the feet. 1t makes
tight and New Shoes feel Easy. Cures
Corns. Bunions. Swollen, Hot and
Sweating Feet. At all Druggists and,
Shoe Stores. DC. Sample sent FIRED.
Address Allen S. Olmsted. Leroy, n. Y.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-09
Read the Advertisements.

You will enjoy this publication much.
better if you will get into the habit OF
reading the advertisements; they will
afford most amusing study. ano
will put you in the way of getting some,
excellent bargains. Our advertisers
are reliable; they send what they ad-
ycrtise.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-09
! salutinr : Phonoxrsph.

B SalutinG Phonogfaph.
& Il will - remembered that Queen
Victoria spoke message Of friendship
and GOOD will to Emperor Menelek Of
Abyssinia aftsr the recent victory In
the soudan. n s43s 2
The message created 8 marked Inn.
preston on his NASTY. The royal
words wers delivered On : Sunday. the
phonograph working sxcelientiy. The
tones q her majestys voice were Efspro-
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-09
In HI, Line,

The, Conductor-I don't believe got
your fare, sir"
The Misnomer-Ah, brother; you will
not allow me to lead you from the
walks Of the Observation-Disclosures
phia North American.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-09

Turning Vino Into Water.
~ Turning wine into water is by no
means q profitable business, but it re-
quires little outlay for machinery, ETC.,
IN order to make water from wine. A
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-09

In his younger days Lyman j. Gage,
secretary Of the treasury, was an ath-
5lete. and could lift q thousand pounds.
Press.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-09

A man who looks at only one side OF
a thing imagine every other man does
the same.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-09

Without constancy there is neither
love, friendship nor virtue in the
world.-Addison.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-09

Many of our worst troubles are
those which We expect but never hap
pen.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1899-06-09

1t is wonderful how near conceit is
to vanity.-Jerrold.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1899-06-22
The Great Commoner Dead.

Thursday morning, June 10,
Richard Parks Bland, for twenty
six years congressman from the
Eighth Missouri district, died at his
home, near Lebanon.
From a dispatch to the Republic
we learn that the end was peaceful.
Thirty-six hours before his death
he sunk into a sleep from which he
never awakened. Tuesday he SEEM
ed to realize that the end was near
and he asked that his children be
brought to him. Even the nurse
left his bedside and for nearly half
an hour he was alone with his family
Whatever took place in those last
minutes of consciousness has been
held sacred by his family. All his
physicians know is that when they
entered he was asleep with Virginia,
his youngest child, clasped in his
arms.
From that time on Mr.. Bland did
not open his eyes. Shortly after
2 o'clock this morning, Ovid Bell,
his secretary, who was watching
during a short absence of Miss
Sergent, the nurse, noticed signs of
approaching death. He hastily
summoned the family and drove
into town for DR.. McComb. The
physician, upon reaching the scene,
said he could do nothing and at
4:3O O'Clock Missouri's "Grand Old
Man" breathed his last.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1899-06-22
SCHEPERVILLE.
Health is very good.

Health is very good.
Wheat harvest is about over and
we are blowing our corn.
Mrs. J, j.. Fowler is dangerousl y
i'll at this writing.
Joe e. Baker has purchased an
eighteen-hundred-dolla engine and
separator and will soon be thresh-
ing our wheat.
Rev. r. l.. Farquar preached at
the Ladd schooIhouse Sunday.
Prof. John Fl, Bess of Lutesville
visited his parents recently.
Robert F. ElIedge and Miss Sarah
Ladd were united in the holy bonds
of matrimony last Sunday. May
their troubles be all little ones.
Tom Tippett contemplates NOV
ing to Scott county this fall.
Peter Degroat is hauling bolts at
present.
Vader, q son of Henry Mansker,
% llll wv u lloul a HlhlC lCCCHUIy y
add received several wounds.
tD Our blacksmith, Mr.. Sadler, may
be.heard hammering very regularly
NOV,
James Johnson has forty acres of
very fine corn this season.
/ hearthat hydrophobia is raging
on. Cluhb's creek. Two animals
thatshad contracted the disease met
at Jess Kerns'. recently and fought
very fercely for awhile one only
getting bit.
Tom May has at last got trace of
his lost hat and l think he will
find it.
Uncle Allen Moore has been very
sick with heart trouble for some
time.
j. W. Mil of Clubb's creek was
here recently and says he will teach
in Stoddard next term.
IF this misses the waste basket |
will come again. N. S. A.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1899-06-22
High LIGHTS.

When we say that silence is golden,
we mean other peoples silence.
More men would marry if they knew
that lots of pretty girls hats cost only
95 cents.
There is too much patient waiting
done in this world. Walk up and take
what you want.
This is no world for woman; in town
she's afraid of mice and in the country
she's afraid of snakes.
Wise mothers keep their children obe-
dent by never asking them to do any
thing they don't want to do.
When a woman loves a man she puts
him in shrine which is so much too big
for him that he tumbles out.
By putting off till tomorrow what we
don't want to do to-day we get chance
to put it off until the next day, too.
1t is easy to enjoy hot weather, if you
only remember that every scorching day
brings you nearer to blizzards of next
winter.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1899-06-22
HAHN


Another Delayed letter.
We have had a few days of rainy
weather.
Farmers are still behind with
their crops and are very busy.
Wheat harvest, with an average
crop, is now at hand. Some of that
sowed early is damaged by the fly
Harvest hands are in great de.
mand and very scarce.
Rev. Healton preached at Union
Hill Sunday.
A strawberry festival turned in,
to Saturday night play party does
not tend, I think, to elevate the
morals of a neighborhood, and
especially when they infringe on
the Sabbath. Have a care, boys
and girls, especially you who have
publicly professed a faith in the
teachings of the bible and agreed
to consecrate your lives to the
service of God, that you do not for
get your vows altogether.
But what can we expect when
older church members 60 ahead
with their work on Sunday?
John Green of Marquand will
probably move to our town some
time soon.
The COUNTRY ITEM1zER.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1899-06-22
ADMIRAL DEWY declines to acce1

ADMIRAL DEWY declines to accept
the home which committee of
officials is trying to buy for him.
1t appears that he first heard-of the
compliment upon his arrival at
Singapore, whereupon he immedi
ately sent q cablegram to a friend
in Washington requesting that the
committee in charge be advised
that he could not accept any testi-
monial of the kind, but that if a
fund was raised for the purpose he
would devote it to the establish
ment of a home for sick and dis
abled sailors. The committee has
not been officially informed of the
admiral's wishes, and therefore has
given them no consideration, but
it is probable that they will con-
tinue to solicit funds and permit
Admiral Dewey to devote them to
the purpose he mentions. The
movement has not received cordial
support from the people. The fund
has just passed the $1,000 mark
and no responses except from the
eastern cities.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1899-06-22

ing nicely. Last Monday Mr..
Schultz, the architects sipernten-
dent, made his appearance on the
ground. He would have come here
some weeks sooner, but for sickness
in his family. This week people
will be getting carload of Indiana
finished rock from the railroad
station at Latin.
Anton Hulshof, John Lueke and
John Stoverink are hauling sand
from Crooked creek every few
days.
Mr. Henry Petri, a theological
student from st. Louis, is paying
his annual visit to Father Belts.
He is, besides being good scholar
and scientist, also a good mechanic
and machinist, having made real
live little engine, which is not
merely wonderful to look at, but
will actually run all day or night,
too, for that matter, if you supply
water and fuel, and what is still bet
ter, and speaks we'll for the gentle
mans skill, is the fact that it is
made entirely of such material that
many would not even think worth
looking at that is ingenuity, skill
and teaches lesson in economy.
Mr.. John Seller and family are
at home visiting his parents and
relatives. Mrs. Seller is q cousin
to Mrs. Luke of Leopold-so is
Mrs. Jacob Holweg, who was here
early this spring.
Master Ennis Clippard very near
ly came to grief trying to discharge
toy cannon. After touching it off
with a fuse and hearing no report,
he stopped "to see what was the
matter'n when it went bang! and
our Ennis was rubbing his wbiskers
But happily, he was more scared
than hurt, and claims to be vastly
wiser than he ever pretended to be
before.
AT Melchior Sellers last Sunday
was a gathering Of relatives and
friends, and all enjoyed splendid
time. The women-welI you know
what they talked about-but the
men, old and young, were talking
"ience" and some were talking it
vigorously.
Father Bettels will spend the
week at st, Louis, pursuant to the
invitation from his superiors, to
attend the spiritual exercises the
Bishop has ordained for his clergy.
That means a solid week of prayer,
fasting and very close confinement.
Mrs. Arnold Jansen died last
week and was buried Friday. The
old lady has seen more than her
share of this worlds troubles.
An old German law says: ut is
not good idea to undress before
you are ready to go to bed" You
may get chilly.
Mr.. Anton Stoveriak was quite
sick Sunday last, but is reported to
be rapidly recovering. @. 0. r.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1899-06-22

THE Bloomfield Vindicator pays
the following just compliment to
Senator Drum, our neighbor, friend,
and upright, honest and concien-
tious business man. His friends
here, who have been in touch with
him for many years, will appreciate
the kind words of the Vindicator:
"One of the most potent factors in
Missouri politics day is Senator
Robert Drum, of Marble Hill, Boil
linger county. He has been for the
last eight years state senator from
the Twenty-frst district. His long
service in the senate has given him
thorough knowledge of the public
men of the state and clear insight
into state affairs. Though quiet
and unostentious, he is close
student and careful observer ofmeD
and current topics. During his
term in the senate he has always
been to the fore front in advocacy
of all measures calculated to benefit
the people Of the state, and ever
condemns vicious legislation. Many
of the most important enactments
of the last eight years originated
and passed into laws through his
efforts. Senator Drum has ALWAYS
been a true blue democrat from
principle, He carries his demo-
cratic principles into practice, both
III public and private life. His many
friends in southeast Missouri hope
to see him continued IN public life.
And if he is advanced along the
line he will only receive the reward
due for long and faithful services in
the state senate"
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1899-06-22
LAFLIN.

There Is party making the rounds of
this county claiming royalty for using
a straight post-and-rail fence. Rails
are held in place by wire stapled to the
posts. This fence, some parties claim,
has been in use over fifteen years, very
few suspecting there ever was patent
on it. Some have paid the royalty at
once, others refuse outright to pay a
cent for the use of what they claim public
property, at least because of the long
time in which this fence has been used.
| know personally of one place where
such fence must have been surely
fifteen years standing, for three years
ago this very fence was rotted down and
being replaced by barb-wire.
What makes the thing very suspicious
is this. In several places the claimant
has said that such-a-one has paid him
the royalty, and Mr.. Somebody else has
promised to do so "next Saturday."
Butupon inquiry Mr.. Such-a-one stout
ly denies having made the payment, and
Mr.. Somebody-else claims never to have
entered into such an agreement. Now.
who is telling the trlth?
I have 8 suggestion to make.
Let the interested parties select a
man; honest, intelligent, upright and
disinterested, one that has a reputation
to sustain. This man q suggest the
Hon.Geo B. Myers inspects the papers,
writes to Washington and in short, in
vestigates this matter, the patentee
reimbursing him for his trouble: If
everything, upon this mans investiga-
tion, appears to be fair, let there be a
meeting, set a specified time and place,
let matters be explained and claims ad-
justed. think every honest man will
be found willing to do what is fair.
ETJIN FIMO
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1899-06-22

LAST Thursday morning, at $3.50
O'Clock John Headrick the murderer,
of James M. Lail, was executed in
the Jail yard at Jackson. We clip
the following from q lengthy ac.
count in the Cash-Book: At 6:24
a, m. the prisoner was led up the
steps to the platform and he walked
with a firm step. While the officers
were binding his arms and making
ready for the drop Headrick smiled
in recognition of what seemed to
be some word Of encouragement
spoken by Sheriff Gockel, He
seemed deeply affected and tears
were in his eyes, but he did not
weaken. When he reached the top
of the steps and stepped on to the
platform he surveyed the crowd
presentand babe them good bye. He
called Charles Mason, his cousin,
by name and told him good bye
and was answered with, "Good bye,
John; God bless you"
1t was the prisoners request that
Rev. Mr.. WiIlett be with him on
the scatfold. The pastor spoke
words Of encouragement and con
ISOLATION to HIM and then commend
ed his soul TO his Maker. The rope
was adjusted about his neck and
the black cap shut the light of this
world forever from his sight.
Shortly before halfpast six
Sheriff Goekel pulled the lever and
the drop fell. DR.. A. L. Franklin
of Duchtown and DR.. w. I. Ralston
Of Cape Girardeau were the attend
ing physicians, who pronounced hie
extinct within fourteen minutes
after the drop fell. The execution
was not altogether q successful one
The knot that should have broken
the mass neck slipped from some
cause and death resulted from stran.
gulation,
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1899-06-22
HUsKEY.

This communication came to hand
too late for last weeks Press.
We had one of the hardest rains
of the spring on last Friday even
ing.
Now, I will tell you about one 0.
those weddings I predicted. i
came off last Sunday at Esquire
Huskey's. There was quite crowc
Of friends and relatives in attend
ance,s Squire Huskey officiating
-FOUR correspondent will allow us
to remind him that others, besides
the squire, are generally required
to pull off q wedding.1
e. E. Robertson was the first to
cut wheat.
Harvest will be in full blast in D
few DAYS.
i. L, McGraw came up from Bel
mont, Sunday, to look after business
here.
Thomas Huskey had business al
Latin Monday.
We are having too much rain fol-
the farmers just now.
Our new postoflice is great con
venience to the people.
Corn is looking welt.
Our blacksmith and postmaster
is kept quite busy in the shop anc
Office.
Success to THE PREss and It'll
many readers. OBSERVER.
Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1899-06-22
Gems From Matthew Henry

Family worship is family duty.
Gods vengeance has leaden feet and
iron hands.
Some of our enemies are best fought
upon our knees.
Gods word will destroy either the sin
or the sinner.
We cannot expect too little from men
nor too much from God.
God is good master who likes his
servants to sing at their work.
Thoughts are as words before God.
Vain thoughts are as provoking words
before Him.
Heavenly pleasures satisfy, but never
surfeit. Earthly pleasures surfeit, but
never satisfy.
He will not always chide. How unlike
are they to God who are always chiding
and never cease!
The wicked, after alt, flourish only
"as green bay tree," which is all leaf
and no fruit. The righteous are like
the green olive, which is fat as well as
flourishing.