Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1899-06-10
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The bride-I don't want to have any
trouble with you, Bridget. The cook
Then, bedad, ma'am, let me hear no
complaints,-Life.
Dash-Don't you think Miss Sweetly
sings with a great deal of feeling to-
night? Smash-Yes; she must be feel
ing pretty bad.-Judge.
Johnny, did you take your cough
medicine regularly in school. as | told
your Nom; Johnny Rudds liked 1t,
an he gimme an apple for it,"
Miss Fox-Papa, why does a Young
man give his fancee diamond ring?
Mr. Fox-Oh, that's the forfeit he puts
up to insure light.-Jewelcr's Weekly.
Two next-door neighbors ouarreled.
and one of them exclaimed excitedlv.
call yourself a man of sensel WHY.
you re next door to an idlotp'-Ex-
change.
What time did the hotel catch fire ?'
Midnight" Everybody get out safe
w AN except the observation-disclosures.
We couldn't wake him up in time
Boston Traveller.
WAS that Straightforward mans ex-
hibltion successful, Mudge?" II think
SO; l lent him a counterfeit silver dol
TAR, and he gave me back a good one"
Detroit Free Press.
Inquirer-"When is the next train RI
LealnlngtonF Station-master AT
L o'clock, sir" nquirer--'What isn't
here one before that?" Station-master
No, sir: we never run one before the
next. "-Tit-Bits.
Miss Gay-This bathing suit is out Of
date, and | don't think mamma ought
10 allow me to wear it any longer. Miss
Primm-Well, If l were your mamma
l should insist upon you wearing it
very much longer.
Parson Featherly-De Lawd hab took
yo' husban' an lef' yo' wild six chllluns;
but 'membah, sistah, dat dar's some
good In all de Lawd oes." IL does, pah-
son. l realizes dat dar's one less fob
me to perwide foh."--Life.
Bass-I got some eggs of Mrs. Fowl.
er Tor fifteen cents dozen. l praised
her baby, you know. Fogg-That's
nothing. | bought some of Fowler
himself for twelve and half cents,
spoke in admiration of his dog.
That's a fine, solid baby Of yours.
Middleton" said friend who was ad-
miring the first baby. do you think
he's solidY asked Middleton. rather
disconsolately; ut seems TO me As IL
he We're all holler. STRAY stories.
Il am glad to say" remarked Mr..
Meekton, that | never spoke a hasty
word to YOU" NO, Leonldas," answer.
ed his Wife, rather gently, I'm willing
to give you credit for not hurrying
about anything. Washington Star.
Van Twiller-'I dreamed hat com.
mitted suicide last night on your nc
count" Miss Oldun (gushing)-"neI
he!-er-hadn't you better to speak to
mommer about it," Van Twiller-
"Oh, l wouldn't dream Of lhat!'-
Judge.
Husband handng his wife some
money)-There, dear, is ten pounds for
our birthday party expenses and it has
bothered me little TO get it for you. |
think deserve a little applause. Wife
Applause? You deserve an encore.
my dear!
Ingenious, but precise: care you the
defendant in this caser asked the
judge, sharply. mo, subj" answered
the mild-eyed prisoner; Il has law
yer hired ter do de defeudin'. rs de
man dat done stole de ahticies."--
Washington Star
Village cousin Showing his city rela.
tive around the hamlet-That fellow
loungng over there has just completed
a tabletop composed of 4,763 separate
pieces of wood. City cousin-What did
he do that for? Village cousn-Oh,
just to keep from working
"Do you think it proper" said the
man who was trying to keep his tenn
per, ITO laugh at a man who slips on
banana peel by accidentP We'll" re.
piled the spectator, apologetically, Il
laughed by accident, too. | didn't
think of such thing until saw YOU"
What to Eat.
"And you say the idiot of a teacher
told you that you had an eXtrayuyant
fool of a fatherW That's what he
meant" But what did he say?' HE
said 1t was criminal folly to waste
money on the education of such O
chump as l am."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
~ see," remarked Dedbroke. that
you advertise an up-to-date boarding
house. / suppose that refers to the
service and appointments" mo, In.
deed" replied the landlady; that re-
fers exclusively to the DOarders. /
don,t Laor, onv ono uybo ,yotv hahindo