davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03

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The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03
Not to Be Caught Tha. wav.

Tommy" said the teacher, how
many is the half of eighth" ION top
or sideways?" asked Tommy. What
do you mean by on top or sideways?"
"Why, half from the top of 8 is 0, and
half of it sidewas is 81"
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03
The Mecca OF Pussy Agitation.

All the emissaries from foreign lands
who come to the United States on a
questionable errand are careful to
bring with them correct map of the
shortest route to Canada.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03
He rOund 1t So.

Pupil-What, in your opinion, pro-
lessor, is the most difficult mathemat-
zeal problem? Poor Professor grim
ly)-Trying to make both ends meet,
my dear sir.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03
EllghtIY DIneront.
woman.

"Then you regard marriage as q
civil contract" asked the Sweet
Young Thing. NO" answered the
Savage Bachelor, cts rather a con-
traction of civility."-Indianapolis
Journal.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03

The truth is probably never known
during a woman's whole life if she
cats certain things because she likes
them or to be polite.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03

+. j. CHENEY q CO., Ioledo, "
We. the undersigned, have known Il: j..
Cheney for the last Is years and believe him
perfectly honorable in allbusincss TRANSACTIONS
and financially able to carry out any obliga-
lions made by their firm.
West g. Truax. Wholesale Druggists, Toledo,
O.; Walding, Kinnan & Marvin, wholesale
Druggists Toledo, Ohio.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally, act
ing directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces
of the system. Testimonials sent free Prlce
Csc per bottle. Sold by all druggists
Halls Family Pills are the best
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03
The beginning of Her Rule.

Susie-Papa, what makes a man al
ways give a woman a diamond en-
gagement ring? Her Father-The
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03

No one seems to have enough sense
to eat just enough watermelon to bet
ter his kidneys, and stop before he in
lures his stomach
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03

Men do not propose marriage outside
of novels, though the result of calling
on girl and treating her to soda, Is
Just the same.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03
Moving Clock Dlals.

In China, which has long been
known as 1.-The land of opposites," the
dials of clocks are made to turn
around, while the hands stand still.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03

When man who was worth as
much as five thousand dollars dies, the
women sigh and say, "Well, his
wealth couldn't save him"
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03
The ArtIess Maid.

Hunker-I asked Miss Kittish for a
kiss last night. Harkins--She turned
you down, suppose? Hunker-No:
she turned the gas down.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03

Probably if the women weren't al
lowed to cry at weddings they would
laugh at funerals.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03
1t Was Worth While.

Governess-Now, Linsley, you
mustn't have any more pudding; it'll
make you i'll. Linsley-Never mind;
it's WORT it!
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03

shall recommend Piso's Cure for Con-
sumption for and wide.-Mrs. Mulligan,
Plumstead, Kent England, Nov. s, 1895.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03
Health for Ten Cents.

Cascarets make bowels and kidneys act
billiousness and constipation. All druggists.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03

Woman may be. the weaker vessel
but man is oftener broke
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03

A man often boasts about wearing
no mans collar, but there are some
women who think it smart thing to
do
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03

The first and worst of all frauds is
to cheat oneself
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03
Oh That Delicious Coffee,

You can't prevent the sun from sit
ting by stopping your clock.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03

Some men marry for money, and
get nothing but love.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03

There can be no course of true low
if true love never dies.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03
mir enc NERVE AVN RRiIN PILLS.

zoe NERVE AND BRAIN PILLS. ae aa s? hifhs qss
hey r us Ii YOU
j d. y. D j ! !
slc
DIR IND Bai and
es 0a
n any
xoTes6yr
wBeesta
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03

Mercy to the guilty is often cruelty
to the innocent.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03

Frugality is fair fortune; and hab-
it's of industry good estate.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03
CRESCENT HOTEL,

Man is the only animal with chron-
ic longing for the unattainable.
The Chanute times. [volume] (Chanute, Kan.) 1897-1913, 1899-03-03

"' +. j. CHENEY 8 CO., Toledo, Q:

We offer One Hundred Dollars reward for any
case of Catarrh that cannot be cured by Halls
Cntarrh Cure.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1899-05-24
1 DTTISTON OF OpTNTON

The surrender of Rosario, a rich Fili- pino congressman, and formerly Agui- naldo's commissary general, is an indi- cation of the way the wind is blowing In the Philippines Rosarios story is interesting. He says that General Luna, and not Aguinaldo, is the head Filipino man, and that Aguinaldo fears him. He also says that every Filipino leader suspects the others of treachery.
 There Is undoubtedly a division of opinion among the Filipinos, and there is more than a hint that there is divi- sion of opinion among the United States commissioners as to the best method of dealing with the insurgents at this crit teal stage. Probably it will all come out right It would be pity if after what has happened there should be a weak and inadequate settlement.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1899-05-24
NOT VERY PEICEFET.

| While the Czar's peace conference Ia
 at work the advocates of German naval expansion are busy. One of the most energetic among them, the Neueste Nachrichten of Berlin. declares that the
 considerable naval increase sanctioned
 by the Reichstag last year is not half
 sufficient to protect Germany's com
 mercial and political interests in the
 emergencies which might possibly arise. Germany's weakness at sea constitutes
 gap in the national armor which must be closed up at the earliest possible moment. At the present moment, it says. Germany is not in a condition to meet the United States at sea, quite apart from the possibility of English in- tervention. It holds, therefore, that the government acted wisely in abstainng from any attempt to influence the course of diplomacy by a naval counter dem German Navy League is growing at great rate. It was founded originally by forty-four gentlemen assembled in Berlin on the invitation of Prince Will helm of Wied. By the end of May last it numbered S35 members, in August there were 5,290, in December 12,234, and now there are 31 ,345. Connected with it are 47 branch societies with mem- bership of S3,000. The movement is helped by the favor with which naval expansion is regarded by the emperor, and has been pushed by retired officers. In a recent issue of the Journal the League reviews Germany's financial po- sition in order to prove that the coun- try could now easily bear the burden of a largely increased fleet.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1899-05-24

mittee and have the power to call the caucuses. No two parties shall hold their caucuses on the same day. Nomi- nations must be made by ballot, the polls must be open from D. m. to 9:30 D. m. and the city must provide the polling places, to be not less than one for each ward. No person having vot- ed in the caucus of any party, or hav- ing signed any nomination paper, may participate in the caucus of any other party held within ninety days thereaf- ter; and no person, having participated in caucus, may sign a nomination pa per containing the name of candidate to be voted for at that election. The penalties are fines or imprisonment.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1899-05-24

a necessity The gown the artist sketched was biscuit colored cloth self trimmed with folds, the high collar lin- ed with white satin. White would be a good color for the inner bodice, which should be along shirt waist lines even if made of fine stuff. This rig may be altered in any desired way that does not elaborate it greatly, but is worth copying as it stands.
 Now that light colors in cloth are SO much used for dress-ups, a dust cloak becomes an important feature of the wardrobe. No matter if you go and come on wheels, even your own private carriage, you are almost sure in short time to mar delicate cloth gown, and as for street cars, the passing by of a well dressed woman whose gown is dusty from a half-block walk will in- jure a dress of delicate gray. A dust cloak protects from these injuries. It should be made as full as possible with out being unbecomingly baggy, fiat double breasted and with very wide sleeves. It should come to the tips of the toes and be made of natural color pongee or of black India wash silk or .affeta. A big loose hood is a useful feature. A pretty finish for a pongee cloak Is bordering of the natural salv- age, which, as rule, is fringed and lined with dull blue. Not every one is clever enough to realize the artistic value of such finish, so it is usually easy to induce the clerk to let you have the cut off ends of prices sold to others. FLORETTE.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1899-05-24
LIFE IN CHICAGO.

Chicago's health department is an able organization. It has apparently proved that the more Chicago is lived in the healthier place it is to live in It has collected and arranged facts which seem to show that while the average duration of life in Chicago in 1872 was 15 years 2 months and 10 days, in 1898 it was 29 years months and 16 days
 In other words, within less than thirty years the average duration of life has nearly doubled. The fact that the young children are the great beneficial ries of this improvement makes the showing all the more gratifying. Be tween the ages of and years the per- centage of mortality has been immense ly reduced. In 1898, for instance, the percentage of deaths among children of 1 year was 30 per cent. less than it was in 1872; the percentage of delths amorg children from 1 to years had been re-
 duced over 55 per cent, and the per
 centage of deaths among children from
The daily morning journal and courier., 1899-05-24
FASHION NOTES.
It Need Not be ITorsey.

Get-ups like that pictured below are coaching costumes if they accompany swagger turnouts, but driving suit fits them just as well if instead of a coach and four prancers there are democrat ic cart and placid pony. The fash ion for characteristic gown for driv- ing is based in good sense so should be followed reasonably even by those who are not ambitious of being considered horsewomen. Besides what is gained in ease and comfort by the use of such, there is a vast difference in the matter of ap- pearances. The suit need not be ex- pensive or mannish, but as severity is an essential, tailor finish is practically
The daily morning journal and courier., 1899-05-24
IfIJIS.

Snodgrass-"The world has a place for everybody" Micawber-"Yes; the only trouble Is, there's generally some body else in ."-Tit-Bits.
 ITO what do you attribute swellham's failure in life? Didn't he aim high enough?" "Oh, yes; but he didn't have the ammunition!"-Puc
 More n.-Tommy-"Paw, what do they put water in stocks fcr?" MT Figg-"To soak the investors with, my son. n.'--Indianapolis Journal debts?"
 Hardly any. I can almost marry you for love. "-Fliegende Blatter
 Reverse Effect.--"So they finally froze Johnson out of the company, did they?' Yes. And I never saw hot ter man in all my life. e."--Indianapolis Journal.
 Sometimes the Casa.--Mrs. Newbride "A woman never knows what she can do with a man until she tries, does she?" Old Aunt Broadhead-"No and then she is often sorry she found out" Puck.
 Perils of Commercial Henry came home furious last night" What was the matter, daughter?" "Why, mamma, I had put two eggs in his luncheon and forgot to cook them. "-- Detroit Free Press.
 College Student-How did you come to lose the game? Captain Cvarsity nine)-Why, their pitcher and catcher had a set of signals that we couldn't possibly understand CT get on to-they kept calling out to each other in Latin Puck.
 The Tall One-"Speakin' ob your hus- ban, Mrs. Winple, dd he evah convey to you dat he done propose to me befo he married you?" Deed he didn't!
The daily morning journal and courier., 1899-05-24

that makes a hit and he is content to
 play it year after year. Now look at the 1 Russell brothers, for instance. They are
 playing the same sketch that they were
 playing eighteen years ago. It's a good
 sketch, l admit, and their excuse for still playing it is that they cannot get anoth- | CT one as good. But do you mean to tell
 me that if the Russell brothers were a 1 Hebrew team of comedians they wouldn't have matched out something
 new and funny in all these years? Now there's one Hebrew team which plays in my theater quite often and always l scores. There are four of them, and the youngest one, boy still under twenty l in addition to writing all the material which they use themselves. has written | no Jess than eighteen successful sketches | for other variety actors. He has made such name for himself in this line that all the big variety stars who are too lazy to think for themselves come to him to be measured for their sketches as they would for a suit of clothes. It amuses
 me to hear people express surprise at the success which a certain team of va riety actors has achieved as managers of their own company. Those boys have worked for me on and off for twenty years, and the very first time they played with me I realized that they
 were going to achieve whole lot. TheN were witty, and they never missed
 chance of introducing some local allu-
 sion that would make a hit with the
 house. When a variety actor gets popu- ar he can feed his audience on old jokes
 fn,, s,,a& 1>,, hi ,a1 can carry him. Then suddenly one day he awakes to find himself a back num-
 ber
 Irish sketches have been so done to death that unless they are exceptionally good, audiences don't take to them now. The negro sketch is not dead, it's only sleeping. I would rather have a really good coon sketch for my theater than any attraction could find, but they are hard to get, as many of the old-time mlnstrels have grown so high toned that they prefer to take less money and ap- pear in white face.' The rage for Jew specialties will not last, although Jew stories on the stage will always be pop ular. Funnily enough there is no one who enjoys Jew story more than the Jews do themselves. As a class they are much more ready to laugh at themselves than the Irish are. But the chief reason why I think there will be a revival of the old-time speciality Is the fact that in all parts of the country music hall au- diences are rebelling against the Ger man dialect performers. There are three or four men in the business who are successful in this line, but the great horde of imitators has driven this par ticular dialect into the ground.
 And then another thing. You mustn't forget how the women are conn., ing to the front in the variety business. If that friend of yours who says he can't find any genuine American humor had gone to see By the Sad Sea Waves I wonder what he would have thought of Rose Melville's sketch of Sis Hopkins Now there's a genuine bit of American humor for you, and the woman who acts | it also conceived and wrote it."-New York Sun.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1899-05-24
A GhiId,s Plea.
I think the world is really sad, ] can do nothing but annoy; For little boys are all born bad, And 1 am born q little boy.

I think the world is really sad ] can do nothing but annoy: For little boys are all born bad, And 1 am born q little boy. It doesn't matter what's the game, Whether it's Indians, trains. or ball l always know 1 am to blame, If l amuse myself at all, !. l said one day on mothers knee. 'If you would send us right away To foreign lands across the sea, You wouldn't see us every day, I've shouldn't worry any more, In those strange lands with queer new
 toys; But here we stamp, and play, and roar, And wear your life out with our noise "The savages would never mind, And you'd be glad to have us go There, nobody would be unkind For you dislike your children so.' Then mother turned, and looked quite rec, l do not think she could have heard; She put me off her knee instead Of answering me a single word She went, and did not even nod, What had I said that could annoy? Mothers are really very odd If you are born little boy.
 The Spectator.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1899-05-24
STRAIGHT STORIES

The insurance hearing at Hartford
 yesterday wasn't as sensational as the
 hearing last week, but it was decidedly interesting. Attorney John w. filling made 8 statement in which he pointed out that the ultimate settlement of the case against the Aetna was along the same lines which governed in the insti- tuition of the proceedings. He also pointed out that it is incredible that, personally conducting the negotiations as he did, continuous as such negotia- tlons were, with no suggestion of their breaking up, Governor Bulkeley as Pres 1dent of the Aetna Life Insurance com pany should have corruptly used any money in bringing about settlement of the case, for there was no occasion for such use. Commissioner Betts made a statement in which he went over the steps taken in the suit and it's settle ment and made the following declara- ton: II wish to state to the committee that this settlement was made in good faith, and I was never approached by any one directly or indirectly with ref erence to the suit, and no offer was ever made to me and I know of no offer be- ing made to bring about the settlement of the suit" MT. Alloway denied all the stories told about him.
 Nobody has told why Governor Bulkeley paid s50,OOO to get suit set tied that he knew was already being settled, and the present indications are that nobody will tell.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1899-05-24

He was so ashamed of some ob de fings he did dat I nevah insisted upon con fession. Life.
 "Taint only English people drops their aitches," said little boy to the American teacher. II never heard no American pronounce the ditch in my name" What is your name?" asked the teacher. Johnny" said the little boy.-Harper's Bazaar.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1899-05-24

to years had been reduced nearly 50 per cent.
 Wonderful indeed. And when the new drainage canal is working there will, we suppose, be yet more health in Chi cago. Meanwhile St. Louis is afraid that what is Chicago's gain in the drainage canal will be her loss.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1899-05-24

The Supreme court of Massachusetts has decided that where baggage is dam aged by a railroad and the owner can not fix the responsibility for the injury done his baggage the last road which has charge of it shall be held respon- sibIe for its condition. This will make the railroads more careful about the condition of baggage when it is re- ceived.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1899-05-24
 AnVERTISIN RATNS

ADVERTISING RATES.
 Situations, Wants. Rents, and other small advertisements, One Gent a Word each h. sertion. Five Gents Word for full week (seven tlmes,.
 Display advertisements. per inch. one in. sertion, $1.20; each subsequent insertion. 40 cents; one week, $3.20; one month, Sl0; one year, $40. Obituary Notlces In prose or verse. 15 cents per line Notices of Births, Mar riages Deaths, and Funerals. 50 cents each. Local Notices. 15 cents per line.
 Yearly advertisers are limited to their own immediate business (all matter to be nnobJectionable). and their contracts do not
The daily morning journal and courier., 1899-05-24

Chicago estimates its loss of trade so far on account of the Buffalo strike at $15, 100000.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1899-05-24

Henry Probasco of Cincinnati has been generous enough. It is estimated that he has spent s7oo,ooO in charity and philanthropic work, and he is now liv- ing in a rented house and supporting himself on meagre salary as an off, cer of cemetery company. Among his gifts were a s12OO 900 fountain for Cincinnati, a $1O,000 fountain for Cliff ton, suburb of that city, and sS0OOo to an Episcopalian church in that sub urb.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1899-05-24

DELIVERED RY CARRIERS IN THE CITY, 15 CENTS WEEK, 50 CENTS A MONTH, $3 FOR SIX MONTHS, $6
The daily morning journal and courier., 1899-05-24

The Canadian government will make experiments with wireless telegraphy. The lines will be established for imme- diately practical purposes. First of all an attempt will be made to connect Sa- ble Island with Nova Scotia. The dis tance is little more thnn a hundred miles. For a long time the Canadian authorities have been considering lay less telegraph can be used to communi- cate with the mainland, however the government will not lay the cable, which will be expensive, both in con- struction and maintenance. There are so few inha bitants on the island that they will not be able to make that sys- tenn of communication pay, whereas if the Marconi signals can be readily transmitted they will have all the ad- vantage of cheapness and sufficiency.
 A caucus act, adopted in Rhode Is- land, and applicable, except in d few general provisions, to Providence and Pawtucket only, defines political par ty as one which, at the preceding cleo
 tion for governor, boiled at least per cent. of the entire vote. Every such party is directed to annually elect State committee, and this committee is required to file with the Secretary of bers. Then follow the provisions as to the two cities named. The electors of each political party in each ward in these cities are directed to annually elect a ward committee, the members of which shall constitute a city conn
The daily morning journal and courier., 1899-05-24

The Philadelphia Record says: In moving the $6OOOO,0OO in silver dollars from the mint and the postoff1ce vaults to the new mint Superintendent H. K Boyer has just made the discovery that $2,000,0O0 of the silver cart wheels are unfit for circulation. They are rusty and mouldy, having been wet by water which percolated through the vaults of the mint years ago, and caused the bags in which they were slowed to rot. This might seem serious matter if it were not for the fact that the dollars are not really intended for circulation. They are simply held to give value and se- curity to the silver certificates issued against them, and for this reason they will not be cleaned, not being needed for circulation; but will be allowed to con- tinue to rust and grow tarn!shed in the splendid big vaults of the new mint.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1899-05-24

Tn Stearns county, Minnesota, school children have to cross the Great North ern tracks four times a day. A hand- car crew ran into little Bertha Sloniker at the crossing, crippling her for life. Her father sued the company. The jury awarded SIP, ,0O0 damages The company appealed. The Supreme court of Minne- sota afflrms the judgment. An award" says the court, "of s12,000 damages to a girl six years old for the loss of her right leg is not so excessive as to indi- cate that it was given under the influ- ence of passion or prejudice