davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Ind. Ter. [Okla.]) 1898-1902, 1899-01-24
A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY.
That Was what the Jury Thought II
WAS, but Ii Turned Out
Differently.

The old Texas judge was perturbed.
He had given the case of Sam Harris,
charged with horse stealing TO the jury
AT nine o'clock that morning, and now
it was close on TO ten at night, with
no sign of the ~ men. With the weak
defense put up there was every rea-
son 10 expect quick verdict, and his
honor was about TO investigate the
matter when the jury filed into the
courtroom.
wall. hev ye fellers really reached a
verdict?" queried the judge, sarcas-
ticaIly, as he took his seat and prepared
FOR business.
"Ye bet, jedge!" was the hearty reply
of the foreman. We've reached 80 or
40 of EN-"
Thirty or forty of emp" echoed bis
honor, in astonishment.
That's what we hev," continued the
foreman. We've got vardicts agin harf
the town, an if we hadn't got so tired
and dry we might hev found few
more"
"But-but l don't exactly understand
ye."
wall, it's like this, jedge. When we
got sot down we fggered it wuz a
mighty good time TO git squar' with
sartin bad folks we knew of. an we
purceeded TO do it. We found Jim
Perkins, who owes me $50 an won't
pay it, guilty of fraud; we found Bill
Bangs, who shot Juryman Smiths
dawg last week, guilty Of"
"Stop right .har'!" broke in the
Judge, as ne pounded with his fist until
the windows jarred-"stop right thar!
Don't ye know ye hadn't any right to
find vardicts agin anyone but the prls-
oner?"
"And-and can't ye do nuthin' TO
those fellers we found guilty?"
"Sartinly not--sartinly not! Now,
render yer vardict in this case afcre
I'm tempted TO fine ye all 500 fur
takin' up the courts time!"
"Come-come TO think of it. jedge,"
stammered the foreman, looking
around, sheepishly. 1--WE wuz SO busy
argerin' the other cases that we clean
furgot this. Come on, boys. an we II
go back agin."
And back they shuffied to the jury
room, leaving his honor too dumfound-
cd TO speak. He didn't fully recover his
voice again until ten minutes later,
when they had brought in verdict of
conviction and been discharged. Then
he ground his teeth together savagely
and exclaimed:
, "Wall. We kin shoot me fur Chiney-
man if l ever sot eyes on bigger
passel of idjets than those 10 critters!
Yere they've wasted nearly Is hours
of my valuable time and made me miss
two dawg fights and game of poker!
Whoop! if l ever get one of them be-
fore me I'll make his ha'r riz right up
through his hat!"-N. Y. World.
The daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Ind. Ter. [Okla.]) 1898-1902, 1899-01-24
Rad a Roaring Old Cine
Hnd His crapslIas Csmpanisn Was liiseb lister
tsfsd In Els Experiences.
Copyright. 1895. BY M. QUAD.
Copyright. 1895.

One could tell that he was a good
hearted man by glance at his face.
He seemed to think the old lady who
had a seat all by herself in the passen-
gsr coach must be lonesome, and so he
sat down beside he and soon struck
up a conversation. In casual sort of
way he mentioned that he had been in
Europe, and she said:
"Why. you must have crossed the
ocean to go to Europe?"
"Yes'm. did,"
"And you were out of sight of land
half the time, Is'pose?"
about five-sixths of the time.
ms'am."
"Wall. declar'! never got out o.
sight O. land in oil my life, and l
reyer mean to. s'pose the waves
run mountains high. didn't they?"
ayes. saw some pretty big waves"
"And there was roarin' as if hull
drove Of cattle was bellerin' at once?
had a brother cross Lake Erie once,
and be said the roarin' almost skcart
him to death. 1t jest roared and roared
and roared, and he thought Of every
mean thing he had ever done. Is'pose
II was the same with your"
II hadn't q great deal TO think Of in
that direction" he replied. with a
laugh. "The ocean Is grand sight in
q storm"
"Yes, I've heard it was. I'm allus
thankful that our orchard amt out in
the ocean. II 1t was we'd have nuthin'
but wind-fall apples. So the waves
iest roar and roar and roar, do they ?
II / should stick my head into an
empty bar'l and let some one drum on
the outside with an ax-helve, would
that be as loud as the roar Of the
sea?"
Hardly, ma'am."
"Jest goes right in for reglar roar
In old time. eh? l s'pose a beats a
circus lion all to pieces, How long does
the roarin' keep up?"
"Fer days and days, somctin<a ="
The daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Ind. Ter. [Okla.]) 1898-1902, 1899-01-24
II Pleased the Family
cbs Strangers rInimenf Proved 10 Be an Hsssvi.
able Beverage " HIS Best
Copyright. 1888
ny NJ. quad.

=
AT the little .own OF Wheatley the
druggist made Inc up iriment for Il
sprained ankle, and there was enough
hartshorn In ii to raise blister. 1
had nearly pint of it left as ! went
up the mountain, and it was packed
away against future contingency.
A week later ! put in couple OF days
at the cabin of monntaineer; and
coming back one day, after visit TO
cave, found the man and his wife and
five children all seated around the door
and waiting for me. They were all
looking very serious, even to the young
est child, and as | came up the man
said:
stranger, these yere young 'uns was
full O curiosity to know what was in
that pack o yours, and while you was
gone they dug into it. They didn't mean
no harm, but I'll lick the hull bilin' OF
'em If you say So"
replied that no harm had been done,
and that there was no call for punish
ment, and he continued:
This boy Joseph found that bottle
O. yours and took nip. Then of CO sc
the rest of 'em he'd TO hev nip. The
old woman she cotched em at it, and
bein' the stuff tasted so pearty, she
took nip herself. 1t wasn't sich
very big nip, but she's powerfully
ashamed of bein' tempted"
taINhara ;e ha Ia 7 o~t.
dering II any of them had really tasted
of the fiery contents.
"And now this is where | come in"
replied the man. THE old woman was
nippin' as come along up, and she had
sich a grin on her face that says:
"'What you got there. and where did
you git it?'"
Its sunthin to make your ha ;url,
and the children found it, says she.
Then she handed it over and
nipped. Then the children begun howl
in fur more, an let 'em hev taste all
round. Then sorter felt dry in the
throat, and L"
"You took powerful long nip" W
tcIIuptcu tuc Niit, anu IL was tNO
minutes befo' you could git your feet
down on the ground agin."
but have you drank it all up?" i
asked.
ITO the last drop, sab, and when
was smellin' of the bottle it fell and
broke. I'm ashamed TO look you in the
face. sab. but mebbe that coon-skin out
there on the smoke-house doah will
even us up"
looked from one to the other, won
Gering that they were not rolling on
the ground in agony. but there had
been no i'll effect / told the man il was
all right. and he needn't worry about
the pay; and as he cuffed the children
off the step and filed his pipe for
smoke, he reached out hand to me
and whispered:
"Them's the words of a white man.
them is. That was powerful good
stuff, sah-never seen none TO come up
TO it, and befo' you go away you write
down the name of it and I'll git bot
lie fur myself. Land. sab, but it do
prevent man from thinkin' he is pore
and downtroddcn and the hull world is
agin hm!"
The daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Ind. Ter. [Okla.]) 1898-1902, 1899-01-24

Mrs. Hobleigh-No, indeed! 1
wouldn't allow my husband to employ
a woman typewriter under any circum-
stances.
Mrs. Sarsfeld-Oh. don't blame you.
As for me. of course, don't care. Be-
ing young and beautiful myself, have
no fear that my husbands love will get
away from me.-Cleveland Leader.
The daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Ind. Ter. [Okla.]) 1898-1902, 1899-01-24
His Conundrum.

Merry Andrew-Can you tell me the
difference between a man and mon
key?
Busy Man-How much do you weigh?
Merry Andrew-A hundred and forty
eight pounds.
Busy Mana hundred and forty
eight? weigh a hundred and sixty
three. The difference is just fifteen
pounds.-Cleveland Leader.
The daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Ind. Ter. [Okla.]) 1898-1902, 1899-01-24

Banger-I tell you, when man has
been married awhile he learns to let
well enough alone!
Toots-Indeed?
Banger-Yes; I used to wake up my
first baby to see him smile. Now, when
hear my second snore. take my shoes
off.-Brooklyn Life.
The daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Ind. Ter. [Okla.]) 1898-1902, 1899-01-24

Nearly everybody smokes in Manila.
1t is common sight after sundown to
see father out for strnll with his
wife and children, and every one az
them over the ageof five yeafs smoking
= cigarette.-Chicago Inter Ocean.
The daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Ind. Ter. [Okla.]) 1898-1902, 1899-01-24

Jack-Retribution has finally over
taken that talkative Miss Chatterton.
Tom-Indeefi How. pray2
Jack-She was married to pngilist
last week. Chicago Daily News.
The daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Ind. Ter. [Okla.]) 1898-1902, 1899-01-24

y After suspicion Is once directed to-
ward man 1t Is difficult to side-trsek.
". Chicago Daily News.
The daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Ind. Ter. [Okla.]) 1898-1902, 1899-01-24


An amusing account is given in the
experiences OF AN American in Mad
rid During the War" The writer, Mr..
Edmond Kelly, was called from Paris
to the Spanish capital at the outbreak
of the war on business of urgent i'm
portance. Fortunately, as he thought,
he spoke French auently and had
Paris address; and his principal dis
guise was "a foulard cravat, which
Frenchmen tie in loose bow like that
in which our grandmothers tied their
bonnet strings so years ago" The Span
ish charge d'affaires at Paris gave him
no encouragement. There was risk Of
being arrested as spy, and treated ac-
cordingly. Mr.. Kelly found his invasion
of hostile territory so easy, however.
as to be positively humiliating. He
spent seven weeks in Madrid. suffering
little or no annoyance. and with his
eyes wide open; and he writes dispas-
sionately of the situation of affairs
there, his comments being of sub
stantial interest and value. Century.
The silver star. (Dolores, Colo.) 1897-1901, 1899-08-18
JUST WHY WE LAUGH
LEARNED DEDUCTIONS ON this
IMPORTANT SUBJECT.
Originality Of Laugh Msant Grow Of
Triumph Over the Fallen Zoe
sss.ses Laugh when They sss Rsia
Inaictsd.

Why we laugh IL u question that has
always puzzled those who are accus-
TONED to think deeply. The laugh,
which 4 now 80 closely associated with
good humor and kindly feeling, orig
inally expressed the exact reverse. II
was the crow Of triumph over fallen
Zoe. Such is Its nature still among
savages. and its unexpected mauifesta-
lions are occasionally very startling.
Dancing ON the body of q PROSTATE
enemy Is. in fact. to them hilarious
fun.
Any new device for torment is a
clever Jest. The INJECTING Of a CHASTITY
wound as some poor wretch runs the
gantlet makes them yell with glee. The
things that shock or horrify or dis
gust the civilized man are about the
only things worth laughing at from q
savase's point Of view. With the ex-
ception, therefore, Of rough practical
Jokes, which may possibly wrinkle his
stolid features with a momentary grin,
the barbarian has NO appreciation Of
civilized humor. Even the knowledge
that he himself Is to be the next VIC
tim does not spoil the fun Of a cruel
spectacle for barbarian thorough
bred.
Some Siamese who had been engaged
in a revolt were captured redhanded
and sentenced to military execution.
"A company Of soldiers had been drawn
up with loaded muskets, before whom
the doomed men we're led out In squads
OF hve or six to be shot. while these
who were waiting their turn stood by,
under guard. looking on. When the
nrst volley was fired the victims, torn
by the storm Of bullets, leaped into
the air with violent contortions and
fell dead. And this to the poor
wretches whose turn 1t was to next 70
through the same experience seemed
80 fine show and so overwhelmingly
funny that they were fairly convulsed
with laughter.
Such Is the humor OF the uncivilixed,
and such doubtless were the begin
nings Of mirth the world over.
Strange as 1t may seem, there are
many hints of this barbarous origin
in the fun Of the most highly civilized.
We no longer laugh at really tragic
occurrences. 1t is true, for other and
more humane emotions are too strong
ly excited. But II we chance to see
q ridiculous mishap which does not
quite rise to the dignity Of tragedy
an accident by which some one Is
greatly Inconvenience and annoyed
without being seriously injured-the
remnant OF the savage breaks loose In
~. and We laugh. sometimes until the
tears come.
The silver star. (Dolores, Colo.) 1897-1901, 1899-08-18
poIsoM pRoor.

Tsek Eaoush Morphine Daily - KIN
0ns Hundred aad Twenty lGss.
From q medical standpoint the case
Of Harry Friedman. recently dis
charged from the Good Samaritan hos
pitai. is the most unique of it, char
acter in the history Of medicine. 1t IL
only necessary to briefly recapitulate
the circumstances which made Fried
man . patient. It will be remembered
chat on June 20 year ago he was shot
BY Policeman Bogart In the lumbar re-
gion Of the spine while he was trying
to escape arrest. For many days he
lowered between life and death At the
city hospital, and every surgeon ON the
stan declared the boy could not live.
The heavy-caliber bullet crushed the
spine terribly. AND a. a result Of the
injury he was paralysed from the hips
downward. losing all control Of the or
gans below It. The survival OF the boy
under these circumstances is not the
most remarkable feature of the case,
but the fact that he is now practically
poison proof is most unique phase.
This result occurred through the me-
cessity OF keeping him almost constant
" under powerful narcotics to relieve
him from his terrible sufferings. The
start was made with one quarter grain
OF morphine injected hypodermically,
Increased daily until 1t reached the
enormous quantity of thirty grains per
day. After two weeks there were
added doses Of choral. beginning with
'five grains and ending with twenty,
and cocaine. increasing from one-eighth
to nve grains daily. The computation
OF the amount Of poison taken by
FRIEDMAN during his stay at the city
hospital Of 900 days is interesting, as
also the comparison of the number Of
ordinary individuals 1t would have
killed unprepared by the gradual in
crease Of the doses. Thus, allowing
twenty days during which he became
gradually accustomed to the drugs, he
took for 80 days thirty grains Of NOR
prime. twenty grains of choral and five
grains Of cocaine daily. making a grand
total Of 500 grains of morphine, $500
grains Of choral and $50 grains Of CO.
caine. The maximum dose of NOR
phine Is one quarter grain, of choral
fifteen grains and cocaine two grains;
hence In one day he took enough Of
morphine to kill 100. Of choral one and
cocaine two men. Multiplying these
figures by the number of days In which
he took the quantity of poison, he alb
sorbed enough to kill as many men as
fell in the three days battle of Chick
amauga. namely. 1920. and this does
not include the doses of morphine,
choral and cocaine he swallowed dur
Ing the twenty days in which his sys-
tenn was preparing for the immunity.
and wherein the doses varied. Fried
man was discharged from the city hos
pital on March II As incurable, and
after . few days at home was trans
ferred to the Good Samaritan. whore
the drugs were cut on. and he thrivsd
without them. He has no craving such
~ makes the morphine. choral or o.
caine hend pitiable object, and, a.
though his lease on life IL prscarious
and he IL = helpless cripple, he 10 daily
gaining In weight.
The silver star. (Dolores, Colo.) 1897-1901, 1899-08-18
FRUIT STAINS

Nay Easily n Rsaovsa frsn Iass.
when Fresh.
Fruit stains may easily b removed
from linen when fresh. Put the stained
portion over . bowl in cup shape. 20
the liquid will readily run through. and
pour over 1t boiling water until the
stain disappears. This must be done
before II has been in contact with cold
water or soap. Fresh tea stains are
removable in the same manner. Where
stains are dried make a solution Of one
teaspoonful Of oxalic acid and one tea
cupful Of soft cold water. Dip the
stain In this, rub and at once thor
oughly rinse in clear water to prevent
the rotting Of the fabric. When It II
inconvenient to procure oxalic acid,
rub the fruit stain with soap, plaster
II with wet starch and hang in the
sun. Apply these again and aSain un-
til the linen 10 bleached. Nildew 10
usually removable by the same moth
cd. or By an application Of lemon Juice
and salt. followed by exposure to the
sun. To bleach the worst mildew It
may be needful to make thick paste
Of half cupful Of soft soap with pow
dered starch. half Is much salt a.
starch. and the Juice Of one lemon.
Wet both sides of the cloth with this
preparation and let II lie on the grass
over night. renewing the paste two or
three times.
The silver star. (Dolores, Colo.) 1897-1901, 1899-08-18
Pain Conquered, Health Re.
stored by Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound.
fL.rr.. TO mrs. ,1nrHxx NO. s.,s.eI

kL1IIkk TO hhs. ftNkHA4 NO. e1vo4oJ
81 feel it my duty to write and thank
you fog what your Vegetable Com
pound has done for me. 1t is the only
medicine have found that has done
me any good. Before taking your msdi-
cine, was all run down, tired all the
time, no appetite, pains in my back and
bearing down pains and a great suf-
ferer during menstruation. After tax
ing two bottles of Lydia e. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound felt like new
woman. Iam now on my fourth bottle
and all my pains have left me. I feel
better than have felt for three years
and would recommend your Compound
to every suffering woman. Ihope this
letter will help others to find . cure
for their troubles. - Mrs. DELLA
REM1cKER, RENSSELAER,, IND.
The serious ills of women develop
from neglect of early symptoms Every
pain and ache has a cause, and the
warning they give should not be disre-
garded.
Mrs. Pinkham understands these
troubles better than any local ply
stefan and will give every woman FREQ
advice who is puzzled about her
health. Mrs Pinkham's address Il
Lynn, Mass. Don't put off writing until
health is completely broken down.
Write at the first indication of trouble.
The silver star. (Dolores, Colo.) 1897-1901, 1899-08-18

Il Il the proud boast Of Archie Bruce
that he 10 . lineal descendant Of the
great Scottish hero. and. ~ becomes a
man Of his blood. he prides himself on
his courage. says the San Francisco
News Letter. For several months
there has been In his family . servant
who hes completely terrorised bis wife,
the latter being the victim and not the
commander Of her nerves. There was
. terrible row between mistress and
maid last Saturday. and on Monday
morning Mrs. Bruce said 10 her hus.
band:
Archie. I cannot stand Mary Jane
any longer. Won't you please dis-
charge her before you 20 10 businsss
this morning? You know how afsaid
Of her am"
''Csrtainiy." replied Mr.. Bruce, viii
suavs courage. certainly. The crooseel
creature that ever cracked Z Gun o.
cleaned kettle cannot COW me-"
The valiant Archibald sometimea
SURPRISES himself and bis friends b.
floating along on . stream Of ailitsra.
tioa. Procuring his hat aad coat. b
descended TO the basement kitoAea
and n stsntorian tones bfavely q,
dressed the servant.
Mary Jane. ahemi must hurry a
nov. but. ahe0i-Mrs. Bruce aslne6 n
70 Nv ~ Inst she waals. aheml-ts
aeeak = yes astss have ooae y u,
The silver star. (Dolores, Colo.) 1897-1901, 1899-08-18
LOST WAGER.
OF $4,000 Because the Wife He married
Deserted Hin.

OF 5000 Because the Wife He married.
Deserted Hin.
st. Louis Globe-Democrat: d. H.
Lee. the king Of tramps. who has OBJ
tanned . statewide notoriety because
Of . peculiar wager which he entered
into with = Minneapolis man . year
ago. has again come before the public
BY alleging that 1t was the inconsist-
ENJOY Of woman that caused him to
loose the wager. The wager was that
Lee should walk 5000 miles, earn $500
and marry = wife all within the period
OF year. The Last proposition present
ed the greatest dimculty. but Lee
started out blythely to accomplish the
task. After several romantic advent
ures. in which young girls showed .
strange willingness to wed the royal
hobo. Lee managed to marry Q girl
from Cedar Rapids. who occupied q
fairly prominent social position. Her
parents were aghast At the procssdins
and induced her to 20 to Dakota where
divorce was recently secured, Lss
tried In the shsrt time remaining TO
win another consort. but the effort wa
unavailins. and the king Of tramps
lost his wager. which was for 5000.
The silver star. (Dolores, Colo.) 1897-1901, 1899-08-18
Colorado =. . sugar state.

"The more beet factories there are
In the state, the better it will he for
Colorado" says NJ. L. Allison OF the
Grand Junction Improvement Com
pany. ''Of all the states where the
sugar beet has been raised, Colorado
and Utah have proved most successful.
Deep, heavy soil is responsible for this.
In time Colorado will be one of the
greatest sugar producing districts in
the world. If the matter is taken up
in time she might be the greatest.
There will be eventually dozen sugar
factories in the state. Why not he on
the ground first, with our factories
built, instead Of stringing their con-
struction out over ten or twelve years?
l am glad to see the factory Mt Love-
land is well under way. They have
good ground there and ought to get q
good beet. At Grand Junction every
thing Is In good condition. The beets
that were planted In April are almost
ripe. They need no more care. There
were contracts signed for 5000 acres Of
beets, when only $500 were raised. II
Is hoped that the factory can be started
by September 18TH"
The silver star. (Dolores, Colo.) 1897-1901, 1899-08-18
FARMING MATTERS.


- 0880E 0ODt8s
We condense from recent bulletin
OF the Idaho Experiment Station the
ioi!0wlng relative to the insects likely
to trouble beet growers:
Out Worms-These burrow in the
ground by day, come out at night.
climb the plant and eat the leaves.
When they reach full size, they are
transformed Into the plain, brown
moth we know as "millers." Remedy
Tie up little punches OF alfalfa, ETC.,
dip IN Paris green solution, /. ounce to
= gallons, and scatter where worms
are troublesome.
Flea Beetles Small. shining, black
or with two light stripes. They eat
small holes In the leaves Of beets and
other vegetables. Spray with one
pound Of Paris green to one hundred
gallons Of water II injury seems seri-
GUS. Usually these do but little dam
age.
Blister Beeties-Large. elongated,
soft-shelled; brown, black, gray or
green, according to the species. occur
ring usually in large numbers together
and rapidly devouring the plants they
reed upon. Immediate spraying as for
flea beetles necessary.
Garden Web WOrms-These are said
to be quite troublesome where beets
are raised on a large scale for facto-
ries. 1t Is yellowish or greenish cat.
erpillar, reaches length of about an
inch, and spins web wherever 1t Is
working. 1t grows rapidly and ma
lures quickly, 10 there are several
broods in season. 1t keeps principally
on the under side of the leaves. Spray
with Paris green, one pound to one
hundred and fifty gallons of water.
Wire Worms-These are elongated
yellow. worm-like larvae, destitute of
legs except close to the head. The ma
ture form Is an elongated brown beetle,
that has the power of throwing itself
In the air with a swapping sound when
placed on its back. No satisfactory
remedy is known, though the subject
has received great deal of study.
Our local growers have not been
troubled great deal as yet.
The silver star. (Dolores, Colo.) 1897-1901, 1899-08-18

de and navigation returns lust
We evidence that British trade
ing. The imports for the
bowed an increase Of more
10000. The increase during
preceding months was trffling
with that seen in July. tx
, show a large increase-m0re
%, 900. The largest increase
Prts OF articles Of food and
oh are duty free. The In
well distributed except in the
Deat, which shows a decrease
and value.
It's the greatest increase 10 In
ext comes textiles and raw
! In the case Of metals the In
value greatly exceedA the In
! quantity.