Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1899-05-10
DOG THAT GETS DRUNK

DOG THAT GETS DRUNK
There is a saloon keeper in south
west Washington who has dog
that is a confirmed drunkard, and
who has as many questionable ways
of getting his drinks as the aver
age bar room hanger-On. The dis
penser of family disturber tells
some peculiarly funny stories of his
booze loving canine, who first be-
gan to love the taste of whisky and
beer when he was only puppy
and began to loaf around the sa-
loon. ga few days ago." said the
mixer of drinks, "BOunce, the dog
there licking the barrel, came in
looking SO nervous that he could
hardly walk. He was all broke up
and detected, and I gave him big
'sniffer' in pan. You ought to
have seen him. He chucsled and
shook himself with thankfulness,
and came back and whined for
more. | thought I would play a
Joke on him so / mixed his drinks.
Then he got bowling, uprOariOusly
drunk, and went out into the street
to try to raise row with every dog
he saw. A dog without a tag, and
evidently from the country, came
along, and Bounce walked up and
stood in front of him. The coun-
try dog looked meek, kept quiet
and walked around. \ dog won't
resent an insult very quick when
he's in a strange place, SO Bounce
walked up in front of him again,
and again the other dog walked
around. Bounce was spelling for
fight, and he rubbed up agai st
the strange dog when suddenly the
country looking dog hauled off and
knocked Bounce sky western crook
ed and rolled him shamefully.
Bounce as soon as he recovered,
staggered into the saloon and beg
ged me for another drink. / let
him rave awhile and then gave him
a stiff one. He walked around
little, knocked over a few chairs,
and then made dive for the street.
l watched the tricky rascal and
saw him size up the strange dog
and then back off. After a time
Bounce came back into the saloon
with large piece of hair in his
mouth and put it down ut my feet.
l knew it was not the strange d g's
hair, and told my dog so. Well,
sir, he was the most sheepish look
ing dog you ever laid eyes on, and
left the saloon and l did not see
him again until the next morning,
when he came in and worked me
for an eye-opener.
.'One time he got on IL spree
which lasted until he had the jim
Jams. l saw him stepping over
streaks of sunlight and starting
nervOusly, and l concluded to play
a joke on him. He laydOwn and
tried to sleep, but every now and
then he would jump as if some one
had put a cannon cracker to his
tail. While he wasn't looking,
slipped up and put "a long piece of
black cord by his side. When he
saw it he jumped about ten feet
and hOwled for dear life. He came
around to where / was and seemed
to be asking my opinion of the af-
fair. l walked out and pretended
that l didn't see anything. That
puzzled him even more, and finally
he concluded that he must have
been mistaken, so he went to the
far end of the house and lay down
again. l took up the black cord
and tossed it to him. Well, sir,
you could have heard him howl
for a mile away. After this he
swOre off. I'd ask him to take a
drink and he'd walk away. He
held out for about two weeks and
fell again. He came limping in as
though he had the rheumatism
He looked at me and | understood
what he wanted and gave him a
drink. Pretty soon he came back
with something the matter with
one of his eyes. | gave him anoth-
er drink, and after awhile he came
back with his tail all twisted out
of shape. He can put up more eX :
cuses than any dog or human ev-
er saw. III would give him the
stuff he would be full all the time.
He's not only ruined himself, but
he has pulled several respectable
dogs down with him. The dogs of
the community have lost all conf
dence in Bounce, and none of them,
except the very bad ones, will as
sOciate with him. Washington
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