The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1899-12-16
OLD DARKY'S TRICKS
DADDY HAD THE GENUINE
/. PLANTATION TRAINING.
How He Goes Dry mming-Having
Received Peremptory Order to Take
q Bath at Once He Follows Directions
But Doesn't Get Wet.

i Bath at Once He Follows Directions
But Doesn't Get Wet. :
\ There is a genuine old darky of
plantation training, "befo' the wa"
that serves as cook on the handsome
private yacht of Detroiter, says the
Detroit Free Press. Hes the greatest
that ever came down the gangplank,"
laughed the owner Of the boat.
'Look at that walk, will you? Isn't
that the real thing? Big, fiat left foot
turned out at pretty near right ankle
and boot slit at the sides to accommo-
date CONS and bunyings.' Favors the
foot, too, by letting down at the knee
every time he steps. Got head like
a cottonball and eyes that laugh when
the rest of his face is as sober as a
deacon. I don't care where we're cruis-
ing or how monotonous everything else
may become, that old daddy is con-
stant source of enjoyment to me. He's
a genuine son of the tropics, too. I've
stepped into his kitchen when it was
hot enough to curl paper or wither
leaves and there he'd sit with beatifc
look, either singing some hymn as they
used to sing it at one of those southern
camp meetings or mapping like cat on
warm hearth. It was a regular in
ferno to me, and yet he'd put on his
coat and turn up his collar if he ven
tured on deck, thing that he seldom
does Unless I urge it as a precaution
against scorching his lungs. Gotta
watch fer dis rheumatic, boss he in
sists 'Dey's de debil in dat lef' leg,
shuah, an de only way to chas' him out
is to cook him out I tell him that the
devil has nothing to do with it, and
took special occasion the other day
to inform him that his affliction was
the result of old age. Beg pa'don,' he
replied, with a flourish of both hands,
dat lef' laig hain't no oldah dan de
right one, boss, an dey's no rheumatic
in it, sab. It am de debil, boss, jes' I
done tole you, an de way to fight de
debil is wifi fab, sab. Lemme git down
side dat cookin' stove an I wouldn't
glib cent a bottle TO- all de med'cin
ebeh concoctified, sah.' Daddy's an
to cool air. I urge him to go in bathing
frequently, just to watch the cunning
with which he will avoid following my
advice. He can look the picture Of
health when advise him to take a
plunge and inside of three minutes
have a pronounced case of fever and
ague that would fool any doctor who
did not know him. He will shake at
regular intervals, complain of racking
pains, and take quinine with avidity-
also with a slight allowance of whisky
and go to bed Stimulating the weak
ness of baby rather than jump into
the water. He alternates these ague
fits with 'neuralgey,' 'toofaohe,' gone
ness in de stomach and a ringin' in
de head like sawmill way off, One
night when we were anchored off Au
Sable I told daddy that he must take
a swim. The peremptory order gave,
him all his ailments at once, but l in
sisted, and the contortions through
which he went while going below sug
gested acute pain in every atom of his
being. Presently I heard great
splash in the water. Quickly there
floated in the air, in daddy's unmistak-
able tones: Laws massy, but dis am
fine! Jes' like de watah in de ole
James ibber. Reckon kin dibe yet,
and there was another commotion,
which suggested that daddy was turn
ing turtle as he went. A brief silence
was followed by sputtering, CUR
Cling, and a final wow which indicat-
ed that the 'dibe' had been successfully
accomplished. All this puzzled me, for
I had long since decided that I could
never get daddy into the water unless
I threw him in. slipped down the
passageway, through the cabin and
into the cooks domain. How I ever
restricted myself to internal laughter
without sufrocating is more than 1 will
ever be able to explain to myself. There
was daddy with his head out through
bulls-eye. Tied to the end Of rope
he had a block Of wood. With this he
had made the plunge and the dive.
With this he had kept up the noise of
some one padding about in the water.
Daddy's ready tongue was doing the
rest He would make the noise of blow
ing out water, puffed, announced to
the night air that it was funny he
could swim better On his left side than
on his right, despite his rheumatism,
and made a noisy dive about every
8 minute, always giving forth the appro-
pirate sounds afterward. But what
caused me to retreat with rush was a
balf-smothered scream, followed by a
4'wagh! wagh! Wagh! Dat wah crab
got me by de toe, shuh.'' Have nice
swim, daddy?' I asked a little later, as
Isfound him rubbing his dry head with
a big towel. tMagnif' cent, sab, mag
nif'cent! wah jes' sayin' to NAH
i self dat it minded me oh de ole James
ribber, whar ulster swim when / wah
"a, 5sjninkaninnY sah r 'snect tI'l1 he