The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1899-08-24
ArrERrnoUGHrs.

1t will be plain Thomas b. Reed. OF
Maine. after September Z.
!. -
n. Guerin Is still defying the police and
has saturated his rooms with petroleum
to show how very desperate he is. Some
one should apply a match and let the des-
perado run or burn. as he liked best.
- :. -
An indignant American volunteer in the
Philippines. who has evidently been read
ing some Atkinson literature, writes home:
..we're soldiers not babies" The return
ing volunteers Will preach a most instruct
I've sermon to the ants from this text
- a -
NJ Labor Is one Of the most prominent
figures before the world just at present,
and Is exceedingly well advertised. but the
situation has its seamy side. as the re-
ceipt Of two internal machines in one day
will testify. II he is permitted to live
through the trial his fortune is made.
- A -
Reports indicate that Aguinaldo Is get
ting a little nervous and inclined to shy
at the preparations being made by the
with him a little warmer than the last
As soon as he becomes convinced that his
new ally. the Tammany chieftain. Is not
coming to his aid with an armed force, he
will be ready to make overtures for peace.
- =. -
The splendid proportions Of Mayor Sam
Jones' gubernatorial boom. as outlined by
his own fervid imagination. dwindied to
the size of toy balloon and then prompt
ly collapsed when 1t was brought out at
the convention Of the Union Reform party
at Columbus Tuesday. Out of $50 votes
Mr. Jones received Is. which must convince
him that ne Is not in as great demand as
he supposed.
- - -
Tuesday was Candidate Bryan's busy
day. He ran three conventions. prepared
the platform for each. kept the unruly
members from kicking over tho traces.
persuaded the three parties to accept the
ticket prepared by himself and adjourned
them without a row. This was all done
at Omaha. and fusion In Nebraska is an
accomplished fact. 1t will not endanger
the success OF the Republican ticket. how
ever.
% % -
Things do not always turn out exactly
as planned, as a Paterson. N. j., young
man has just learned by experience. He
seized a pretty young lady on the street.
and, before she was aware of his evil in
tentions, kissed her twice. The kissing
was done in the most deferentia. and at
the same time most thorough manner of
which the conditions admitted. He was
arrested and taken before Justice of the
peace, where he found himself confronted
with a charge of assault. Now. assault Is
quite a serious offense, and visions OF the
penitentiary or, at least, the county JAIL
doomed before him. He acknowledged hav-
ing kissed the young lady, and said that
when he contemplated doing SO he expect
ed to be arrested upon a charge OF MS
demeanor and fined $; that he considered
the kisses well worth that sum and was
willing to plead guilty and pay that
amount. HIS confession as to the value
he set upon the stolen kisses should have
melted the young .ady's heart. but so far
from doing so she refused to withdraw the
charge OF assault and the unhappy young
man was bound over to appear before the
grand jury. The moral IS obvious; the
young man should have consulted lawyer
earlier In the game