New-York tribune., 1899-06-10
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

THE TAIN or The Dhf.
An old Bucksport (Me) sea captain thus de-
g. -ibes the way in which he dismissed an unde-
sirable sutor for the hand Of his daughter:
II Just showed him the companionway out on
the gangplank leading from my house, and gently
remarked that the wind was off shore, and the
sooner he got under way the better offng he would
get before morning. He at once took the hint,
got under way, paid off, bore away, and went down
the road under all sail with the off shore breeze. -
Right here" writes Kansas boy in the Philip
pines. rs where heard my first Mauser bullets.
They have such a mean. spiteful sound, Just like
a little girl in school turning up her nose and
saying, Take thatr
It's easy enough to get along in Germany even
II you don't know the language said the re-
turned Missourian. "One day in a good-sized VII
asG ss %prd Of nfS caed
waiter and said TO him Look here, old man. I'm
dry--do you understand that? Dry dry He
nodded, and the next minute came back with three
beers kansas City Star.
certain justice of the peace in Buffalo recently
had the following notice published in local pa
per: Il am reliably informed that some Of our
local clergy are cutting prices and thereby de-
uoralizng business. 1 will not reduce prices to
perform the marriage ceremony, but Will give time,
II necessary, or will take meat potatoes grain
in fact, any kind Of produce. and will agree not
to kiss the bride unless perfectly satisfactory
to her"
George r. williams the coored historian trav
elled great deal, and stopped at such hotels as
be q Gar9 oNce Ms Asked pe M Williams
4 taxi. bath, every morning replied the
When I go TO a hotel say at once to the clerk:
me in il? The answer is invariably in the af-
irmative SO long as | stop IN the hotel eat IN
my ROOM | have no trouble whatever
The late Blanche X Bruce acted similarly. II
IS the experience Of negroes who have risen that
sv9ded by the exercise of little tact@t Louis
Globe Democrat.
THE Boston Transcript says that the other day
on a car from Cambridge to Boston was boy
about twelve years old, very proper little boy,
with gloves and high collar He was holding
forth to two little girls on various subjects. and
presently said: II never in my life have seen
play that was really ashamed to have seen but
once and that play Secret Service"
why what's the matter with that?" asked the
girls
"Oh nothln's really the matter with tits good
enough play and all that, but II isn't educational
like Shakespeare and The Christian you know"
In Boston" remarks "The Buffalo CONNER
cia they do not lick these little monsters they
let them grow up to become secretaries OF anti
imperalist leagues"
A Necessty-There is a great deal OF excitement
in Paris" said one French official.
Yes" said the other calmly
But d5 s STy BY e PsTs were as
nothing TO get excited over."-(Washington Star
The Consistory of the Reformed Protestant Dutch
Church (CoIegiate). OF this city. has issued
booklet giving In brief the history OF this ven-
erabe corporation. which has played so large
part in the life and history of the city Of New
York. 1t Is embeshed by some excellent full
page pictures of the ancient and modern edihces
Of the parish.
Yes, monkey shooting in Borneo is great sport"
said Old Traveller as he settled himself comforta-
bly, in the biggest chair In the hotel lobby:
never forget a pair that 1 saw one day They
were in fine range. and was just about to shoot,
were we're uS'i Walking side by side like pair of lovers
awhS Fnny snd shsy en dsd e S M
AG he was sf ia s OF Monkey and Si' o
never anything more gallant than the way he
extended ED his Sn SnS HpeS bsye f he Heart to shoot O
after that"-Detroit Free Press
A clergyman, addressing a large gathering OF
children on the occasion OF festival thought TO
impress a certain truth on their minds by the en-
ployment OF a familiar figure OF speech. Chill
dren." he said. when you are having an enjoyable
and happy time we will call that a silver time and
when you are having very tresome and dlsa-
greeable time we will call that-let me see-we will
call that a copper time. Now. children, will one OF
you tell me what kind OF time you are having at
present."
The widow-Every time he kisses me he colors
up to his eyes! -
The Bud-And does he never get any OF the stun
In his eyes7-(Judge.
Two companies OF bicyclists are to be attached
TO the Sixth and Twentieth Army Corps OF the
French Army Each company will consist OF a
captain, four lieutenants or sub-lieutenants. one
sergeant major. one extra sub-officer. four ser
geants eight corporals. two buglers. four mechan-
les and hundred men, The uniform OF the
bicycllss will be the same that OF the Alpine
Light Infantry. less the cap. and they will be
armed with the artillery carbine and bayonet. The
company belonging TO the Sixth Corps will he sta
toned at ST. Michel and that OF the Twentieth at
Luneve.
What kind OF q noise did the train make before
Il struck the wagon asked the Court.
ut made doggon big noise" replied the wit
ness.
Cant you express II any better than that?"
Well. sir. I mout say II made devil OF n noise!'
Worse still.' said the Court Try again
Now, Jedge," said the witness deprecatrgly,
you air leadin' me over my eddication limits; All
] kin cay is--t made devil OF a noise which air
not quite so loud an deef'nln as a hi Of q noiser