St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1899-01-18
Newspaper Waits.

"Hang it, bowl exclaimed the tender
foot from the East, as the bell boy OF
Texas hotel car bouncing in on him
without knocking, "haven't you got any
manners about YOUR
"Didn't you ring2" asked the boy
20 course rang"
Didn't you ring three times ~
at may have been three, as was in a
hurry Tor ice water, but that doesn't
excuse you for bursting in the door"
beg pardon" replied the boy, as he
backed out, "but you ought to read the
bell card. It's one ring Tor the porter,
two for the bell boy, and three for gun,
and when guest rings for gun in this
hotel the orders are to get it to him be-
fore the other fellow can beg his par
don ~ Philadelphia Press
A man recently smoked cigarettes all
day without any particular harm re-
sulting. The only visible effect was the
death Of the smoker.
THAT Youngest boy Of yours does not
seem to be a credit to you" said the
white man to Uncle Nose. mo, sah,"
said Uncle Nose "Ee is de wustest
chile has. He is mighty bad. He's de
white sheep OF de family, sab,
The Poet Observation-Disclosures you
think we would make a good couplet ?"
She (coyly)-"I'm not averse. II Brook
Ign Life.
She Knew Him.-Mrs. Potts-"It was
rather late when you came home last
night. Where were your" Mr.. Potts
why, my dear, Wednesday night is the
regular weekly lodge meeting night,
you know, and" Mrs. .Potts-"Yes,
of course, l know; but did you win or
lose p Chicago News.
1.-The railroad engineer" said the
smart boarder, "must be happy man.
He whistles at his work" Begging
your pardon" said the cheer ul idiot,
prompt to crush all possible rivalry, "he
works at his whistle. - indianapolis
Journal.
AS to Heredity -Isaac-"You do nod
pelieve dot We nherid our quvalities
from our our ioreiaders?" Cohenstein-
Surely nod II my foreiaders hat de
same peesness apility as me, would hat
to begin mitout yum cent ?"-[ Puck.
Mother-"Johnny. stop using such
dreadful language" Johnny Well
mother, Shakespeare uses it." Mother
Then don't play with BIN; he's no fl
companion for you.-Tit-B Bits.
II suppose you are still clamoring fol-
independence, said Aguinaldo's friend
"Well," was the answer, THAT is what
started in to clamor for But can't b.
satisfied with independence now. IVAN
to be naughty. Washington Star.
Dentist-"I see that shall have to xii
!. the nerve" Patient For heavens SAX
don't 1t would ruin me in my business
I'm Reinsurance agent. rid-B Bits.
An iuquiring Youth.-"It vos Nose
dot led der Israelites to der land of brom
Use, my son." "Vich Moses, pepper ~
cleveland Plain Dealer
A German actor played the role Of tn
parricide Franz in Schiller's "Robbers
so realistically in remote village tina
several indignant peasants waylaid hir
i after the performance and gave him
. sound thrashing. While the blows wer
, falling thick the actor exclaimed proudly
II thank you, gentlemen. This is tn
happiest hour OF my life. u Fliegend
, Blatter.
: A little girl, whose mother left HI
e alone ct night ai,er telling her the u
i was fusif OF affSs-s5I, was heard saying
$ her doll, Now, dollie, you mustn't
s afraid. The room is full OF angels.
beats the devil how afraid ] am OF al
1 gels. - Trained Motherhood