Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1899-07-27
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"hcic Sot acquainted with NM.
The summer garden: Jaggles -
Nv hat have the theatrical managers
done to elevate the stage"' Waggles--
Moved it up to the roof. Judge.
The novice-"Do you find it hard
work, my boy?" The caddie-"Well. de
hardest parts keepin' from laughin'
when de guys miss de bal!."-Puck.
'Dld that woman give any reason for
attempting suicide?" Eyes. your hon
orr What was it?' "She says she
wanted TO kill elf"-Chicago Rec
ord
Erowne-'Waiter bring me a dozen
oysters on the half-shell." Waiter
Sorry, sab, but ives all out of she'll
fish, sab. 'ceptin' aigs.' Rochester
Union and Advertiser.
She (coquettishly)-"I read the other
day. Cousin Charley, that marriage is
declining He duspircd that's
quite wrong. Marriage is accepting"
(Seizes the opportunity and proposes)
Punch.
What are You signing for:" asked
the Registry Department OF the Dead
Latter Office $40 ana ho. 50 ,nonr
rejected addresses ne 7" u,os tho sor.
rowful renlv - pittshurr Chronic,o
Telerr,Dh
,ri,;..
Mlhlster-"My poor woman, you must
be ful. OF regret for the awful crime
Won con,mittod, cnndnn,rn.i ,,,,r,,,n
ess-.y.s shor,d n,,.,, 1,.,,,, Il +,,.o,,
tv ve,rs ,ro rhnr v.. yonra ana
heontifnI "-Irdmo
-. w. nus '''''iN'' S"''' MIS- -'"i'pioP'
. ., 100 N'''1'' o'Vi 'ii' "itH"i9 " ''ic
i'9i''i9 se"Soi' re CAN '"thN "I '"'N
il hn =. oel,od 1,o. r,d,r1 .X,.,u
s,o,,ld COW 90, ua.. ,.',,.,,au ,,.'r,o
m,ni,cn '''''
NJ >, '"chSo"- NpeHNlh CD your NUS
'"" MIS- 'n'l''' "iu lie evan convey
~ Sou VA ~ uo'e propoSc TO me oelo
nc mar ileu YOU MIS- Illil'le-
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All eNchiiige OF sho's: MI Nedd
'sp''clu ii! - lou iook lis II you hdu
oeeh i"""ihs !"ui lace an over we III
si"e ol poWoer-l"c'orE' MIS-. "e"u
,H"cc.'' ii''i'oio"'' c'""ps INV,
;, -, II" Wv 49,"
N'i'' oH' iil''"' guess "ei'Pt -
iioil'e' wy NHe VIII r'tlFe Il noll row.
even rs IL Is. wv ny oo" you 90 Is l
no Niel you III" E'" nave StaEeU "u'
700 nue. 'i"t oo you 90! l'lst
NVP vi ''"' ne '"' "i'''i Mo" H"r IN
a,. 'S
'n 'iie Sp'lrG young hiah l"HcS
iISn'Ia ''i us I" '"ou2h'S ~ loNe' ne
salu' ''hc 9'HHVu """ s'l"oh hfr uo"u.
nat 'he trouble she reih'eu; ihev
turn llsA'iH 'is'e"u OF SERIOUSLY for
she WIS GIN VIM Ia" "e'h through
"a spins ''''
'e''
tommy salo idther 10 MS pre-
cocIous o-!eaF-old son ana heiF' your
mother tells ne Sh" gives you pennies
to be good. no you tA!hN 'h"t IS r'Gh' Z!
"of course II IS ftpIleu tommy YOU
certainly don want me 10 crow MP ana
be goou lor no'A'As' II" 'ou' N"''"so
News.
4 young hopeful sat i'll the window
long time the other night during Il
Thunderstorm. and contemplated the
scene with wise look on his face.
Then he turned to his mother. ana sad:
"Mamma, the angels are scratching
matches On the SKY. household
Words.
A different commodity: Mrs. Newly
wed-"I don't see why you are in such
hurry to get to work, mornings. You
used to say that you could love me
through all eternity" Mr. Newlywcd-
"And so | can and will. dearest; but
time on earth is more valuable, you
know.'-Judge.
Mr. Courtney c,ottcrinplv, az had
the blues awfuliy when came here to-