Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-03-17
WIDOWS AND BACHELORS.
Eidowers Marry Spinsters and Bache-
Iors Dodge Widows, Says
This Informant.

Men and women have such different
siews on some subjects. Take matri-
mony, for instance. When a widower
chooses second helpmate he looks
about him for a spinster, but widow
doesn't care two straws for a bachelor.
She prefers a widower with a fund of
domestic experience to draw on. These
are facts. Statistics prove them. As a
general thing the man who spends one
half of his time in memorizing statis-
tics and the other half in firing them at
his friends-or. rather, his enemies, he
has no friends-is an unmitigated nui-
sance, but he is, withal. a useful and
even necessary evil, and we tolerate
him with resignation. There are GASES
in the desert of his tiresomeness. Once
in awhile when fioundering in the
depths of his varied information he
tells us something we would never have
known, or perhaps would not even have
thought of had we not been blessed by
his untiring diligence.
One of the choice morsels of informa-
ton recently CLEANED is the obov e-men-
toned popularity of the sexes when
hunting substitutes for lost partners
Statistics do not explain why this con-
dition exists, but the statistician does
In fact, he offers several explanations.
Like the man at the show. you can pay
your money and take your choice. In
the first place, he says, man who has
lost his other half is much more anxious
to marry than a woman. Indeed, so
enamored is he of the matrimonial
state that he is willing to give it not
only second, but even a third or fourth
trial if necessary. and each time he
chooses spfnster. This the statisti-
clan partly accounts for by stating that
as the female population greatly ex-
ceeds the male, each man feels that it
is his bounden duty to assist as many
women as possible into their true
sphere of the home circle.
To dissenters from this phiIanthropic
view the statistician offers another sug-
gestion to. the effect that a man likes
TO DE "boss" in his own home. and, hav-
ing learned from experience that after
a woman has been married few years
she is pretty apt to take the reins of
the household in her own hands. he
prefers some one who is still uninitiat-
ed. so that he may enjoy at least few
months of 4ortiing 1T before she gets
broken in. Whether either of these
hypothesis is correct it would be i'm
possible to state positively. but certain
1t Is that widower fights as strenu-
ously against an alliance with a be-
reaved representative of the opposite
sex as did Mr.. Pickwick when threat
ened with matrimonial ENHANCEMENT
with Mrs. Barden. and quite frequently
with less gratifying success.
Widows are shrewd Men who have
been managed once can be managed
again. Widows know that. and infinite
~ prefer taking up a mans education
where somebody else left it off to train
ing new consort; hence quite num-
Der OF protesting widowers are lassoed
annually in spite of their resistance.
During the year 1897 the statistician
studied matrimonial reports of the most
pcpulous districts of the eastern and
middle states and discovered that in
that section and during that time 46.-
343 widowers took &C. 343 spinsters unto
themselves to love- cherish and protect,
while only 6.325 widows were so hon
ored. As that arrangement disposed of
but a small proportion of the lonely fe-
males, 10,625 of them were forced to
find solaee by taking as many single
gentlemen from the realms of bachelor
hood and Transforming them into ODE
dent benedicts.
Whether these facts will be of any
special benefit to anybody. neither the
scribe nor the statistician pretends to
say. They are merely given for what
they are worth as conditions of life
Chicago Times-Herald.