davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1899-08-10
IPnlnski News.Rcylew.l

Some of our Martin exchanges nre
quoting Senator Daniel as saying ;ha;
Martin was a better Senator than DC
DanieD. Ii Senator Daniel made such
II statement he evidently doesn't rate
his own services very high.
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1899-08-10
bethel MILITARY AcAbEMY

Bethel Academy, yIreinIe.
Thirty -Hecond 8esson opens Sept. Al. Patronage
rom 70 states a.s prepared more soldiers aud
South. Illus catalogue. r. L. Ncfntyro, Supt.
au10-eod-26t
Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1899-08-10
THREE CENTS PER- CORY.
sUsscRlPTIoN RATES :

UBSCRIPTlON IA rs.
The vIRGINIAN-PILOT is delivered to
subscribers by carriers In Norfolk and
vicinity, Portsmouth. Berkeley suffolk.
West Norfolk Newport News. Tor 10
cents per week. payable to the carrier
BY mail. to any place in the United
States. postage free:
DAILY, one Jcnr $500
- elk montbs BOO
tbrce mouths I.oO
I" 0sic month 80
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
Presbyterian Notes.

The new church will be dcdieated the
nrst Sabbath of November. The SER
mon will be preached by Rev. Willis G.
Craig, d. ID. L. l.. d., of Chicago.
"A series OF evangelestic meetings are,
contemplated following the dedication,
exercises.
Inc Sacrement of the Lords Supuer
Will be celebrated the second Sabbath
of October.
Inc following officers of the Endeayor
society were chosen for the coming six
months; Pres, Myrtle Brown: Vice
Pres.' Lucy Davis Recording Secretary,
Lizzle Davis; Organist, Florence Kel-
ley; treasurer, Will Kelley. The So
ciety is in prosperous condition so has
raised nearly $4,000 the present year.
The subjects for next Sundays ser.
mons will be of special interest. Tn the
morning it will besOur Church" the
topic OF the young peoples society.
In the evening it will be "The CONQUER,
ing Hero. Suggested by the home cow
ing OF Admiral George Dewey.
The ladies Of the church are wrest-
ling with the problem of new carne.s
and organ for the church. We are ALI
anxlously awaiting their decision with,
reference to the new organ.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
Anti-Saloon League.

Ihore was large and antbusiast;c
gathering OF the temperance people at
the M. T.. church last Sunday evening
oelng brought together for the purpos,,
OF perfecting some kind of n temner-
ance organization. After devotional ex-
erclses Rev. j. F. Hinkhouse was chosen
chairman. Addresses were made nv
Revs. Shipman, Smay and McSparran
and W. q. Elliott,
heV Shlpman, A. H. Roberts, w.
Burnside and f. ID. Blackman were nm.
pointed as committee to nominate
officers. They recommended the fol-
lowing who were chosen: Pres. W. G.
Elliott; Vice Presidents w. H. Kelley.
e. ID. Blackman, W. Burnside. |. w
Baker; Sec. E. B. Cousins; Treas, H.
A. Arnold.
Executive committee: j. II. Hnk.
houe, L. U. j. Smay, Rev. Nc Spar
ran, r. W. Matheny, o. A. Nichols, H.
M. Talbot and Thos. Oliver.
Advisory committee: Mrs. Hurd
Mrs. Lois G.. Stuart, Mrs. Agnes Cole
Mrs. John OFT. Mrs. w. w. Smith and
Mrs ID. G. Mott.
IL Is the purpose of this antisaIoon
league to perfect county organization
and make campaign OF the county en-
forcing total abstinence for the indi-
vidual and the enforcement of all Inv,
against liquor selling.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
OCEAN DERELICTS.
Necessity for n Patrol syaten to Find ana
Remove Them.

New York Sun: The French steamer
Iouralne. which recently arrived
from Havre, reports sighting the aban-
doned wreck of the bark Siddartha,
%aterlogged and almost awash. The
hapless craft had been deserted three
weeks earlier by the bark Cape Race,
and, being afloat in the transatlantic
steamship lane. she Is peril to navi-
cation. The Touraine passed close to
her In broad day, but the thought of
a collision on dark night or In a
dense fog was not agreeable. This Is
only one more of list Of experiences
which have become familiar to ocean
ravei, but not on that account the less
disquieting or the less urgently de-
handing relief. While maritime eoun-
tries pay some attention to wrecks OF
their coasting vessels, especially when
within home waters, there Is no provi-
sion Of clearing the ocean of danger
Gus derelicts. Besides, even coasters
often drift through the action of the
Gulf Stream, or are driven by winds.
across the travelled paths of the trans
atlantic steamers. Again and again
efforts have been made to bring about
some international system of policing
the seas.with view to removing these
sources of peril. 1t Is evident that
such a system is needed. because apart
from the expense involved in finding
wrecks and blowing them up, authori.
ty to do SO wauld need to be conferred
by the agreement Of nations, for pro-
lection against claims for damages.
Thus far. however, no practical prog
ress has been made toward such an
agreement. Our country has been
prominent in u.ging it; and, indeed
the thought that some of those lost
vessels of many years past, whose fato
has remained mystery. may have
gone down as the result of striking
such waterlogged derelicts, is enough
to stimulate efforts to clear the seas
of these perils.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
A Blind Mans Calculation,

When Gauss became blind, his only
amusement consisted in making calcu-
latiOns of curious and somewhat Pc
culiar nature. These sometimes lasted
for days. When more than so years
old, Gauss computed the amount to
which 81 would grow if compounded
annually at per cent interest from
the time of Adam to the present, as
Stunning this to be 6,OOO years. This, If
in gold, would make cubic mass so
large that it would take ray Of light
travelling almost 1000 miles a second
more than 1,OOO,OOO,OO0 years to jour-
ney alongside of it. This mental COM
putation is so startling as to be almost
beyond belief, yet the conclusions Of
this eminent mathematician are cor
rect.-St Louis Democrat.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
FIGHT FOR YOUR BAGGAGE.
That Seems to BE the Proper Caper
on English Railways.

That Seems to BE the Proper Gamer
on English Railways.
"NO American can ever travel on the
railways Of England in comfort" said
the New Yorker, who had crossed the
Atlantic score of times. "In the first
place you've got to play hog if you
get compartment by yourself, and in
the next It's an even question whether
you get your baggage at the end of
your journey. Everything is piled
upon the platform, and every passen-
ger must pick out his own. If you are
two minutes late, there is nothing to
prevent somebody claiming your bag
gage. l never arrived at a terminus
without Witnessing big row between
passengers, and l never talked with q
fellow passenger who had not lost
trunk or satchel at some time or other.
In three months of travelling about I
saw my trunk claimed by others at
least 20 times for assaulting the
porters. This assault consisted solely
in abusing the railroad companies
about the baggage system. I finally
got so mad about the thing that spent
two days in securing an interview with
a railway magnate at his office in Lon
don. straightway asked him if he
had never heard Of baggage check.
~ have, sir he replied,
"'Don't you think 1t a good sys-
temp
81 do, SIR
"Then why don't you adopt it?
"'Because it's Yankee idea, sirv
II told him it was also Yankee idea
to eat oysters and asked him why he
followed suit, and he was as serious as
a judge as he replied:
"'Oh, but that's different, you know.
You Yankees swallow your oysters
whole, while we always halve and
sometimes quarter themv "-Exchange.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
"PoOr Excuse" Etc.

"That Sims Is the most resourceful
fellow you ever saw. His girl has a
pretty cousin stopping with her, and he
told his particular that he had hired
an orchestra to serenade them Thurs
day night AS he had done nothing Of
the kind and forgot all about it, and as
she had made arrangements to treat
the serenadcrs, Sims caught it hot and
heavy when he next called. How do
you suppose the rascal squared him
self"
Haven't the slightest idea"
"Told the girl that the orchestra
struck on him because she sang in
church and didn't belong to the union"
Detroit Free Press.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
Pills OF Perfume.

Discriminating London fen,inlnity
has sealed the doom OF sachet powder
so far as its application to personal
attire is concerned. Most of the
apo;' e"rries in the fashionable west
end 1a!l perfume pills now instead of
the powders. in consequence of the
new demand. The pills are FRAGRANT,
scented with violet, heliotrope. lilac
and rose, and they are sold in fittso
round boxes like tiny honhonniera.
AS to the methna Of using them, they
certainly are not swallowed. The
woman OF fashion slips one into hcr
pocket, another in her glovo, and
third is tucked away In her eorsaga,
The uniritiated might take her for
walking homeopathic medicine chest.
but the up-to-date girl knows better.
She understands that the pills are not
sugar coated, but sweet scented. AID
that they are the proper substitute Tor
the sachet bag. They give just THAI
faint, delicate suggestion Of fragrance
desired by the woman of refinement.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
GOT HIS CLEAN CLOTHES.
He Hna No Money, but Had Nerve and
an Easy Chinaman.


That there arc more ways than one
to accomplish thing If man only
has the necessary nerve is illustrated
by the experience of young man.
The young man tells the story himself,
so there is no betrayal Of confidence
In printing it.
1t seems that he had big bundle of
collars and cuffs and shirts at Chi
nese laundry night or two ago, some
articles in which he needed very much.
The night was the furthest in the
week from his pay day, and he was
'broke." Still he had to have clean
linen in order to keep an important en-
gagement.
II didn't know what to do" he said
in relating the incident. II felt sure
that the Chinaman wouldn't extend
credit to me, for it is well known
thing that Chinese laundrymen never
trust At last l hit upon scheme
Going to my room, bundled up all
the soiled linen 1 possessed. Hurry
ing around to the laundryman's, pro-
duced the bundle.
'Sixty-five centsv he exclaimed
blandly, holding out his hand for the
coin
II picked up the clean linen and, de-
posting the bundle of soiled on his
counter, started for the door as If my
life depended on my being half a mile
away within five minutes.
""That's all rightv 1 shouted back
in reply. Just mark it on that bundle,
and I'll pay you for both togetherv
"Then l was gone, but not before l
caught a glimpse of the laundryman
hastily unwrapping the bundle I had
left, as if he was. anxious to see wheth-
er or not the contents were worth the
65 cents | had hung him up for. He
was evidently satisfied, for he didn't
yell for the police or make any COM
motion, as l was afraid he might do,
and had all kinds of freshly launder-
cd collars and cuffs and shirts to wear
that night. And all on account Of a
bit of nerve. "-Philadelphia Inquirer.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
HE WAS A MASON.
Set the Unfecling Inner Guard Gave
Him the Grand Laugh.


Him the Grand Laugh.
a we'll known Chicago publisher,
speaking of scenes and incidents in
that city in the trying days after the
big fire, said: "The great fire was a
thing of the recent past and the down
town portion of the city a scene of the
greatest confusion. About 8 o'clock in
home in the west division, was ac-
costed by man of respectable appear
ance, who asked me to give him the
price of a lodging.
"I'm not q beggar,' said he, but
Pm in hard luck. A man told me that
some Masons were in session over this
way. If could find them, I'd be all
right
81 happen to know a lodgeroom on
Canal street, where there is a meeting
tonight said |. Come along, I'll take
you there
'"The place reached, l conducted him
up q long flight of stairs and knocked
at door.
I'm not a Mason said to a man
who seemed to be acting in the ca
pacity Of guard, but I've run across
one of your fraternity who seems to be
in hard luck. take it you'll be glad to
do something for him.
"Congratulating myself on having
done good act, I pushed my chance
acquaintance forward and retreated
toward the stairway. A whispered con-
versatiOn ensued, when the guard ex-
claimed:
YOU'RE not a Freemasonv
ono replied my late charge, but
I'm stone mason out of a job
"The roar of laughter that issued
from the half open door made me wish
myself a Mason. AS it was, hur-
riedly quilted the place."-Chicago
Chronicle.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
lie Snyy Her HOme

On a rainy afternoon not long ago
one of the pretty young matrons of
Connecticut avenue left the car from
which she had ridden up town and
darted through the driZzle toward her
home, few doors from the corner. She
had no umbrella. A Willie of the char
acteristic type, who was riding in the
same car, noticed that she had no UNI
brella. He was right after her with his
own umbrella up and extended.
May see you home, missw he in
quired languishingly, stepping up
alongside of her.
She turned to him with a dazzling
smile.
Certainly" she replied. watch
me-" And she ran up the steps of her
home and entered the vestibule door
without looking back.
THE rude thingw muttered the Will
lie, blushing to the roots of it's wavy
hair, as Laura Jean would say, and
then it took the next car.-Washington
Post
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
Little Sunnah.

When little Mrs. Sunfish is laying
her eggs she will fight anything that
comes near. Down in a sheltered place
she hovers over her nest until by-and-
by big, ugly carp comes along and
makes up his mind to make a meal Of
fish eggs. Then the plucky little sun
fish darts out, and, with a rush, runs
square under the big carp, trying to
cut it with the sharp fin on its back
Two or three sharp cuts Of this kind
makes the clumsy carp change his
mind about sunfish eggs and he leaves
in hurry, being lucky If he gets away
with a whole skin. Then the little
sunfish goes back to its nest to watch
for the next hungry enemy.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
POET BURNS AS A PUGILlsT.
A Masonic Souvenir of His Fig b ling
Ability Owned In Chicago.

n
Ability Owned In Chicago.
A part of the Masonic altar that once
brought the Scottish bard, Robert
Burns, in dire disgrace before his
lodge Is now in the possession of a
Chicago woman, Mrs. w. Il. Punch of
1880 Sidney avenue, and is treasured
by her as family heirloom.
Mrs. Funch is by birth a Canadian
Of Scotch origin. In the days when her
grandfather, George MacRae, was
young he attended the same lodge as
did Bobbie Burns and was one of the
"lichts" of the town. One night before
lodge meeting the poet and MacRae
sat long together
Bousing at the nappy,
And gettin fou and unco happy.
And then arm in arm they sauntered
slowly to the room where the Masons
were wont to assemble.
All would have gone well had not
Burns desired to show his Masonic
brethren how good pugilist he was,
and he let go heavy undercut at Mac
Rae, arousing the latter's fighting
blood, and the bout began, which re-
suited in MacRae being felled to the
floor and Bobbie Burns throwing the
four legged altar, or stand, at him as
he attempted to rise.
Luckily he missed him aim, and the
stand struck violently against the wall,
SCATTERING completely one Of the legs.
At the following meeting the two
friends were brought before the order
for trial. A fine was imposed on them,
and they were made to replace the al
tar. The broken one was thrown out,
and as MacRac went home he carried
the stand with him.
1t is about two feet high and is Of a
style out Of use today in the Masonic
order. 1t has since been preserved in
The family as an heirloom.-Chicago
Tribune.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
Romance just Ended.

The Hawesville Ky.) Clarion says
that Uncle" Jim Scott Of that place,
who has just died, was married. while
a slave, to the wife who now survives
him. They were sold and sent to Diff
ferent sections of the country, and
were lost to each other for more than
fifty years. In that time each had
married and buried another partner.
Four years ago was brought to light.
in his endeavor to secure a pension.
the existence OF the wife Of his young
manhood, in Louisville. A reunion fol-
lowed, the pension was secured. and
the old couple lived happily together
until his death.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
Rrave Men Fall

Victims to stomach, liver and kid
ney troubles as well as women, and all
feel the result In loss of appetite, pois-
ons in the blood, backache. nervous.
ness, headache, and tired, listless. run.
feel like that. Listen to J. ~ W. Gard d.
ner, Idaville, Ind. He says: Electric
Bitters are just the thing for man
when he is all run down, and don't
care whether he lives or dies. 1t did
more to give me new strength and good
appetite than anything could take
l can now eat anything and have a
new lease on life" Only 80 cents, at
A. III. Roberts Drug Store. Every
bottle guaranteed.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
Some Good Anagrams.

The following is list of very re-
markable anagrams:
Astronomers, no more stars; cata-
logues, got rs q clue; elegant, neat leg;
impatient, Tim is pet; matrimony,
into my arm; melodrama, made moral;
midshipman, mind his map; old Eng
long, golden land; parishioners, hire
parsons; parliament, partial men; PEN
itentiary, nay, l repent it; Presby-
terrain, best in prayer; revolution, to
love ruin; sweetheart, there we sat;
telcgraphs, great helps.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
Missing Time.

What do people do with their sur
plus time? They used to weave the
cloth their garments were made Of and
make them by hand. They now get
them ready made at the stores. 1t
takes less time to do every act Of
drudgery than it used to take. What
becomes Of the surplus time? If we
have gained an hour over our ances.
tors, what becomes Of it?-Atchison
Globe.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28

The great success of Chamberlain's
Collie, Cholera and Diarrohea Remeny
in the treatment of bowel complaints
has made it standard over the greater
part of the civilized world. For sale
by A. III. Roberts, druggist.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
FOrcibIe PROOF.

What was your father whipping
you for last night?" asked one small
boy of another.
"Oh," replied the other, I'VE had an
argument about my Sunday school les
son, and he was proving to me that the
whale actually did swallow jonah
Troy Times.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28

English SPAWN Liniment removes all
Hard, Soft or Calloused Lnmps and
Curbs, Splints, Sweeney, Ring Boz =
STILES, Sprains, all Swollen Threats
Coughs, etc. Save $50. by use of one
bottle. Warranted the most wonder
full Blemish Cure everknOwn. Sold by
A. Ell. Roberts.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
Pnrricd.

G"imes-Look here, Smith, why didn't
you call last night? told you my
daughter was going to sing some Of
her new songs. and you appeared de.
lighted.
Smith, was delighted-to know sho
was going to sing.-Boston Transcript
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28

Small kindncsscs, small courtesles,
small considerations, habltually prac-
ticed in our social intercourse, give a
greater charm to the character than
the display Of great talents and accom-
pllshmCnts.--M. A. Kelly.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
illustrated Stories.

Bob Uricho the barber)-Men of my
profession are very good story tellers
Customer-Yes, and they usually IL
lustrate their stories with cuts.-Cin-
cinnati Enquirer.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
Red Hot From The Gun,

Was the ball that hit G.. b. Stead
man of Newark, Mich, In the Civil
War. 1t caused horrible Ulcers that
no treatment helped for 20 years
Then Bucklen's Arnica Salve cured
him. Cures Cuts, Bruises, Burns
Boils, Felons, Corns and Skin Erup.
tions. Best Pile cure OH earth. 25 cts
box. Cure guaranteed. Sold by A
Roberts, Druggist
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
Millions Given Away.

1t is certainly gratifying to the pub
lie to know of one concern in the land
who are not afraid TO be generous to
the needy and suffering. The proprie-
tors of DR.. Kings New Discovery for
Consumption, Coughs and Cold, have
given away over ten million trial bot
ties of this great medicine; and have
the satisfaction of knowing that it has
absolutely cured thousands of hope
less cases. Asthmus, Bronchitis,
Hoarseness and all diseases of the
Throat, Chest, and Lungs aIe surely
cured by it. Call on A. Fl. Roberts,
Druggist, and get a free trial bottle.
Rcgul,r size SOC and 81. Every bottle
guaranteed. or price refunded.
HALF RATES TO SEM ON SEQ CARNI-
VAL, Dies MONIES, IOwA,-Via the North
Western line. Excursion tickets will be
sold ut one fare for the round trip, with
in $50 miles, October 5 to 7, inclusive,
limited to October 9. Apply to agents
Chicago & North Western Ry. 39-2
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28

See j. Il. Carmichael for pianos, plan
olas and organs at Blackman's shoe
store. If.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28

S0me People like to be generous just
to brag about it.-Cleveland Leader.