davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-08-04

An amusing story Is told Of an Old
time soldier whs loved liquor better
than food. and was bound to have his
diet according 10 his taste. II was In
the days whea British soldiers pro.
yidcd themselves with rations out OF
their pay. TO insure the proper feed
Ing Of the men a strict inspection OF
Tie daily mess was Instituted. II was
found that unless this was done many
soldiers would go without meat In or
der that they might have money to buy
grog
Donald loved whisky, and could live
very we'll on oatmeal. Therefore he
eschewed butchers meat. But at the
daily mess II was essential that he
should have meat before him.
For long time Donald saved his
money. and yet, to all appearance,
lived up to the requirements. When
his mess before him. II was tripe
tripc, and trIpc again for change.
'.Do you always eat trIpeY asked the
inspecting officer. becoming little sus
lHcious
always. your honor" replied Don
aid.
The officer stuck fork into the dish
before him.
"Well, Donald" be remarked, II new
" Ls.f0re saw tripe with buttons on
t."
The meat proved TO be slice from a
pair Of leather breechcs. Youths Com
LMnion
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-08-04
POETRY WHICH BURNED.
The Successful Scheme of Rhyme
xter to Make Money

xter to Make Money.
"A very wealthy, sedate and enter
prising manufacturer in Pennsylvania
has brother who is trifiing, dissipat-
ed and Of course a spendthrift. But
the fellow now and then displays re-
markable ingenuity in making d
raise" All his life he has INDUCED.
among other bad habits, that of writ
Ing eXecrable verse, much Of which.
however, he has managed to get
printed.
Lately he conceived the monstrous
idea OF having all his stuff printed in
book and with the aid Of an unscru-
pulous printer succeeded in bringing
out the work" in quite handsome
shape. But in the most affcctionate
terms he dedicated" the book to his
wealthy brother, who regards his near
ana dissolute kinsmans poetry" as
really the most reprehensible thing
that the incorrgible fellow does.
But the rhymester and his 'black art'
accomplish knew their business. They
printed large edition Of the book and
sent copy to the wealthy man, who
immediately purchased the entire etli-
ton and the plates and made words
that burn" of the poems by means Of
bonfire. He also sent to his cruel
brother and induced him to accept a
salary to do nothing but throttle his
verse ficnd.
The wicked printer obtained capital
enough to go to Chicago and carry on
reputable printing establishment,
and the bad brother is earning more
money by keeping his verse fiend 81
lent than better poets do by keeping
their muses. constantly at work.-Wo-
mans Home Companion.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-08-04

DAeh \ Ha.a
Gosd stories Of William, "'' =.
told by j. w. Mackail in As|
IN, Norris = went to Jonas a's :. .
night runs a note in ,,' o.
diary, "while they We're h
nair was SO long and he loo 'le
that the servant who onon oAea
would not let him in. th,n,' .u
q burglar" A'ls
Morris had a temper !,
teeth. Once, in a fury. h. ~. -
table fork all out Of shane w
err occasion he hurled a ti,,' m
fury folio at a workman
went through the workshop =
his fits Of anger Morris Wont, y !,
head against a wall or hita
the window frame. "
Morris was honestly a soc,.,.
his workshops and their COM
worth $4,000, he surrende,as
Its and took foreman's wages i
aiding the business. to nav ~
week better wages to each NV
Morris began designing w.s
End decorations by accident
pc couldn't find any fit to T.!
did he use in designing. excem
sad colors. Once lie showM
customer some bright Ham
carpets.
"Are these all?" asked ~.
"But l thought your colors y
dued"
IF You want dirt" said Mo.I
can find that in the street"
And to the street the custom.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-08-04

" yen Wish 10 make u foaa,ain pcn.
ssAe two ordinary steel peas ef the
same pattern ana insert ,ucm IN The
common holder. The inner pen viii
~ the writing ren. B.swesn this aud
the outer pen Will he held a supply OF
hk when they are once dipped into
IN" snks'and that viii last To writ.
s'stai pages Of manuscript Il /. uos
HTrssary that the points Of the two
Rns should he rsry near together. but
the dow os snk Is not rapid ene.:.:h
Tr Points may he brought nearer hy 4
af " thread or minute rubber band.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-08-04
..,His Henson For Rcmorse.

DIR. foundtext-You say, my friend,
that You killed man in n duel?
Moonshine .jim-Yes. sir: he wus NV
rival fer the hand o. the ole CONAN
wot | married
1T founslteNt-Tha was terrible
deed. sir. hope you are sorry for 1t.
Moonshiue Iim-Sorry, You bet your
HE I'm sorry. parson. Ii | hadn't kill
Ell him, mebhe he'd n married the ole
ooman.-kansas City independent.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-08-04

pia that man 10 whom You were
l"st talking say your affairs were mis-.
h'anaged! asked Mr.. Meekton's Wifi
severely.
Now, Henrietta. that was simply a
'ti'e aside. IL wasn't intended for
your ears at ALL
Il insist"
oh, well. IL you Insist. he didn't saw
my ausirs We're mismanaged. He sai,,
thes were Mrs. managed" -washinr
ton Star.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-08-04
~. WAY Ou,.

A certain Irish member OF parlla.
mcnt. popular and n bachelor. had been
very polite to the daughter OF the
house where he was visiting. When
the time came for him To- go. the toe
anxious mamma called him IN for a
serious talk. Tin sure don't know
what to say" She went on. Ills re-
ported MI around that you are 10 mar,
ry Letitia."
Just say that she refused me.
quietly advised the parlianicutariau.-
San Francisco Argonant.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-08-04

During trial Tor assault In Mel
bourne. n club. rail, nm as handle, a
knife and shotgun wcrc exhibited a,
The Instruments with which the deed
VAS done.
II Was also shown that the assaulted
man defended himself with a scythe. Il
rrNolser. IA pitchfork. a chiscl, "A ham.
saw and n dog.
The jury decided that they'd have
given sovereign apiece to have seer
the Hight.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-08-04
Wesley q yegetarias'

John Wesley. the founder o
diSm. seems to have been W.
pioneer of the Temperance ins
bit also an apostle Of vese's
He states in one of his serns
for several years he subsistea
toes and found that doing 50 :
largely to promote that splstl'
which he enjoyed.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-08-04
While Toafh Coin.

Whales teeth form the COZ
the Fiji islands. They ere
white and red, the red TIE.
worth about 20 times as muci
white. The native carries hf
round his neck. the red and
his coinage forming n brilliant
to his black skin. 4 common
Gus sight In the Fiji islands :,
married wife presenting her
with a dowry Of whales tcetb
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-08-04
No Alternative.

Prison Visitor Wasn't 1t rather n
cold hiootcd thing to do-shootiny the
man down while he was praying?
Mountaiueer | had to do il nodper
II III let i'm pray n little while longer.
Ne mougat o won the Lord over to his
Side. IN then whar would I of hem
indianapolis Journal
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-08-04

Mike" said rlodding Pete. "derc's
cni, Que time when envies ,ic rich
I'm ashamed Of yer Weakness
II don't blame you Hue when mad
about desc sweils couiin all dc way
from Europe rs saloon passengers /
cant help feelln pang o jcalousy.-z
Washington Star.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-08-04

The forest area of all the British DOS
sessions In America Is estimated Mt
about Sneoo,c coo acres. The settler ba :
cut MS Nay into the fringe of the vast
Woodland, but his depredations are
nothing as compared with the terrific
scoufge of fire which has ramnor..,
through ii at different times.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-08-04
Anather View of the y

II firmly believe" she ssl'
woman should have the risns
pose"
"Of course" IL woman prop
replied. "she would give al
ment ring and other presents
of receiving them"
On second thought" she ~
perhaps it would be better
change existing conditions.
Post.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-08-04

Did you ever notice how tho man
MHo IS TOO lazy to knock the ashes
from his cigar will have to spend sew
ef,ii moments later in brushing them
or his clethess -Cambritye Press.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-08-04
Her Dear Friend,

Emma Charley asked me to marry
Vim last evening. aud had To refuse
him. the dear fellow.
Ella How did il happen?
Emma course like Charley. but
rs 10 marrying him
lila mean how lid 1t happen that
he asked you p Boston Transcrint
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-08-04
An 4 Ms ustnx ErenI

INC RAJ Woman--rhat living skelc-
ION Is great hunerlst. isn't her
he Dog Faced Boy-Yes. he's got
TOT OF funny bones.-Kausas City In.
dependent.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-08-04

we apprchcnd that black eats. take
'hem rough and running. have brought
more tieas than good luck.-Desroit
Journal
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-08-04

New sougs always sell well. It's
sneh r"tsef to get rid ot the last one
o.as ANYTHING new will so.-ports.
mouth Chronicle.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-08-04

fendnlrIns are affected by variations
o. density Of the air. as we'll as by
changing temperature.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-08-04

\ man can borrow trouble without
putting mp any seeurity.-New Orleans
Picayuue.
Kootenai County Republican. (Rathdrum, Idaho) 1899-1903, 1899-08-04
WOES OF BIG STORES.
LOST. eABy AND FRANTIC MOTHER 4
COMMON OCCURRENCE.

0oss That Have Eisd~d Their Own
ere. and Ev~n Cats and Birds That
Have Gene Astgsy. Have to De Cared
For In the .MOEgue."
The times., 1899-10-15
Next Week,

counsel and swears that he will make the
play the curse of the Davidson Stock Com
pany.
Willard Holcomb has left for Boston,
and Will Page will be brought on from
New Haven to assume one-half OF his for
mer position. The other half has not yet
been assigned.
Louie Freear, the English comedienne,
who recently visited these shores, is being
starred in London in piece called Boy
Bob" Despite this, London continues
normally peaceable.
Jessie Bartlett Davis new opera is the
work of a certain DR.. Sterrett, a physician.
Nervous persons who look for mercenary
motives in all things may view this Cir
cumstance with suspicion.
Eugene O'Rourke is seriously Ill at the
Jewish Hospital, Philadelphia. ANY indi-
viduaI named O'Rourke must have been
unconscious when he permitted himself to
be taken to a Jewish hospital.
A dress rehearsal of "She Stoops to Con-
quer' viii be introduced in one act of
Stuart Robson's new vehicle, "oliver Gold
smith," which promises to be an even
greater failure than was 'The Gadfiy."
At a St Louis music hall illustrated
songs are being delivered by a phono-
graph, which does away with the usual
coarse looking individual with the numer-
Gus gestures. Lillian Jerome please no
tice.
The Pride OF Jennico,' the new drama
TO be presented by James X. Hackett, is
the work OF Grace Livingston Furniss and
Abby Sage Richardson, who make spe-
cialty of providing settings for stage
duels.
No one seems certain where or when
William Gillette will begin his tour IN
Sherlock Holmes IT. is probable, how
ever. that he will ultimately open at the
National Theatre, as was originally in
tended.
Minnie Maddern Fiske's New York sue
cess in Becky Sharp will delay her ap-
pearance in Washington about three
months. Which almost tempts one to wish
that Langdon Mitcheil's play had been a
failure.
Digby Bell, of New York-who. how
ever. is not THE Belle of New YORK :
is going into vaudeville. Lovers OF rea
art in the drama must be few when al
actor OF Mr.. Bells ability is forced into
the continuous"
The wife of Boiossy Kiralfy the famous
producer, has secured a divorce from mel
husband after a suit chiefly notable IN thai
IL proved how easily even one used le
making spectacles fer others can make
a spectacle Of himself
Cissie LOTUS. who, within three weeks
/ was twice engaged to be married, twice
| secured for different theatrical companies
and onee about 10 be sued Tor preach u
contract, has been taken so IL tEat Sn'
has been obliged to resign from RieharS
| Mausfeid's Organization. No soader.
The times., 1899-10-15
BRIEFLY TOLD.

Julia Arthur's More Than Queen" is &
failure.
Dorothy Morton will be starred in THE
Greek Slave
Robert Downing is to establish a school
OF acting in this city.
The new Empire Stock Company play is
entitled, MY Lady's Lord"
James Paxton Voorhees,, of this city, has
made an unsuccessful attempt to get into
vaudeville.
A picture Of Katherine Mulkins occu-
pied space on one of the pages in last Sun
days New York Telegraph"
Ludwig Englander. the composer. has
been bequeathed fortune 1t is TO be
hoped that he wiz retire on it.
Naughty Antony" the new David Be
lasco farce. will be given its first produc-
tion on any stage during December in this
city.
George II. Hayden, an uncle of Nat c..
Goodwin. is said to have been chartably
buried By his employer last week in New
York.
"A Little Ray of Sunshine" a farce
mentioned among the English importations
for which The Times predicted failure,
has closed. One,
American rights for Hearts Are Trumps. -
Drury Lane melodrama containing more
sensations than speeches.
The Davidson Stock Company Is said To
be pirating Tine Curse of Cod a melo-
drama written by Whitman Osgoed. of
Washington. Mr. useccd les employed
The times., 1899-10-15
A rustic Of skirts on the stair,

And Jewel on h-Eh--ln her lSlr-
There was neither jewel nor scent when
Efie Shannon came into the parlor OF the
Gordon on Tuesday last and seated herself
opposite a Times man For jewels and
scents are not worn in the morning nova
days. and il is not probable that this clever
player ever wears them. "A quiet, sedate.
refreshing little woman is Miss Shannon
and pretty Perhaps il is because she is
pretty that there were neither diamonds
nor scent Perhaps il was because she is
pretty that her callers first question was
this.
Is beauty essential to the success Of a
girl in your profession"
Well" replied Miss Shannon, dubi-
Ously i don't know. Beauty, after ALL is
a thing hard to define. A face fun OF
character may seem beautiful without be-
ing SO. A magnetic person may appear
beautiful. Really homely women often
have expressions that make them charm
ing. And, Of course, pair OF bright eyes
and a pretty mouth is 4 great handicap.
IN plain, everyday life one takes most
quickly 10 those so favored-Ehy not on
The Etage2 The manager realizes this,
and naturally. is eager 10 engage players
whose features and figures are attractive.
But do not think that Venus could sue
ceed without some talent, and ! do rot be-
iieTe that the piainesf OF geniuses can be
kept cut OF sight. Caroline Miskei Hoyt
despite the fact that she was the wife OF a
famous author and a well-sdvertised
beauty. too. never was profitable ven
ture. Without being In the least striking
Mrs. Fiske has won an unapproachable
place on the boards"
Speaking OF the new Kelley Shannon We
hicle, the star said: 1T is not probable
now that M Kelley and I VIII do our
latest acquisition IN the dramatic line be-
fore next season. The piece must needs
be carefully produced and our dates with
The Meth and the Flame viii prevent our
taking the necessary time The Offering is
an adaptation Of Lorna Doone.' made by
Mildred DOWling, who wrote 'Daingerheld
so for Annie Russell, and whom / met at
he Lyceum- The first act OF her version
IS almost original in its matter, the second
takes one to the sequestered shades of
I15sla's bower, in which occurs the su-
preme love scene of the play, the third
shows the manner in which John rescues
Lorna from the bandits, and in the fourth
is the fatal marriage with the struggle be-
tween the giant OF Dartmoor and the mur-
derer. ] have unbOunded faith in the pre-
sentation. and, somehow. feel that after IL
is done ] shall have 10 act no more"
Miss Shannon made no mention OF the
trouble occurring over the rights Of the
novel in England. and, indeed, seemed 10
know nothing OF the affair.
The times., 1899-10-15

rector is usually either q well-known au-
thor or an actor Of wonderful ability Each
must be possessed Of that power which
gives some men the privilege of teaching
Others. and both must be perfectly sure OF
what they do II a point is disputed the
question is discussed and argued until
manager or managed is convinced. Pos
siblv q third party is called in before the
matter is definitely settled. Over here the
stage director Is an autocrat who viii
brook no interference or suggestion, save
from star or employer. In America more
attention Is paid 10 startling scenes and
brilliant costumes than 10 acting. This
is
A Few words Of at the White Horse
Tavern" loated through the partially open
door Mr. Deitrichstein paused and pricked
up his ears "Mein Gotti" he exclaimed.
IF I had waited another instant / should
have missed my entrance" Then he
pushed past party Of gossips standing in
the hall "Gueten ab-eood night" he
shouted. and disappeared
Like all creditable IDEAS remarked
John gansome yesterday, while standing in
the lobby Of the Regent-''like ali credi-
table ideas. my scheme for the csricauring
OF celebrities was an inspiration. One
evening ] was making up after the style
OF Old Hoss' Hoey in A Parlor Match,
when II occurred TO me that slight change
OF lines would turn me into a very ade-
quate representation of Richard Croker.
The Boss was then. as he is now. one OF
the mOst-talked-of men in New York. /
had seen him and had had several oppor-
tunities of noting his characteristics. So
/ began thinking that a moEologist who
made his appearance in such a guise and
then told only consistent jokes would be
introducing novelty and might make
hit The plan was tried only few days
after and one could not have asked FOR
greater degree Of success. Since then
have fmpersonated a number OF public
lights I usually send ahead to house man
ayers for suggestions regarding local con-
diuons and try 10 iit these into the type
introduced. For the correctness OF the
portraiture-well, ] make a point OF Sc
curing photographs Of the subject, and in
variably ] interview him in order 10 catch
a few mannerisms. No one Of them has ever
objected-neither Mark Hanna nor David
B. RiIl. In fact, generally trey seem bit
fisttered. or, at worst, amused Mr.. Croke.
sat in a box at Keith's the other night and
laughed heartily al the jests l told from
behind his whiskers-or some very like
them. The scheme has the merit OF being
unique. and has been profitable. ! shall
not have to search for another in some
time.
The times., 1899-10-15
PRESS AGENTs ROUND TABLE.


Many are the tales-clever and otherwise
that are told on absent-minded men. No
reader Of the comic papers is wholly IN
familiar with the individual who during
2 rainstorm goes down the street with
his cane elevated above his head, or with
the equally we'll known parsonage who left
his ONCE with ''will be back at I2' sign
on the door. returned al II, glanced at the
plscard, and sat down on the steps TO wait
for himself The yoluble press agent OF
''Pspa's Wife" has new story relating 70
this malady. and the yarn concerns Charles
Bigelow. There Is no necessity for add
ing that the comedian is now supporting
Anna Held in the piece mentioned. II this
were not true. someone else would be the
hero Of the anecdote.
The publicity promoter Of '.Papa's Wife,
says that he was walking past Mr.. Bige-
lows New York lodgings one afternoon last
month when il occurred 20 him that be
would drop in and escort that gentleman 10
rehearsal He found the bald waiter OF
The French Maid" smoking refsctiveiy
before 2 grafe are. He had forgotten every
thing about the work OF the day. The call
ef spoke OF what had 10 be done, and fair
~ bundled his quarry into hat and coat
They had reached the downstairs door,
when Mr.. BiEeloE proclaimed that he had
le1t something. and rushing Up again,
soon Eeappeared, wearing 8 heavy mackin-
tcsh- The press agent wondered, but
made no remark until the Manhattan was
caly block away. when Mr.. BigelOw be-
gan complaining OF the discomf0rts OF the
weather. -Of course It's warm" said his
companion. You've been perspIrsng like
a race horse. But why did you put on
that rubber arrangement IL hasn't been
raining fof an hour
I know" replied Mr.. Bigelow. In all
seriousness-@I know. But. unfortunately.
] couldn't leave the Thing behind. My
part WIS IN the pocket"
There are several varieties OF absent
miRdedncss and they are produced Ia sew
sral ways A quart OF keatucky dew win
make the average man forget to remesn-
her number of things Tine ahead" in
diTiGaal with Hyde's Comedian recalls
The times., 1899-10-15
COMING EVENTS.

A study Of the headlines printed over
the criticisms of In Paradise" when that
risque and racy play was done in New
York viii be Interesting to those who ex-
pect TO see the piece next week al the
Columbia These first words generally
cover the entire field of review and.
therefore, are labor saving reading. The
article in the Herald" for example, is
said to have appeared under the title, In
Paradise Scores a Hit-A Genuine Palais
Royal Farce Well Played" while that in
the Press" came beneath the caption,
The times., 1899-10-15

In Paradise Like a Warmer Place
New French Farce outdoes All It's Pre-
decessors-Pr Produced at the Biiou 1t
Amazes Even Callous Audiences by Its
Audacity." Then Agent Dunn quotes from
the Mail and Express - g In Paradise is
a Funny French Farce-Minnie Seligman
Scores a Hit,' and from Jessie Woods
column in the Journal" at the Bijou
last night there was presented short,
sharp but biting comedy in which the prfn-
eipal scenery was a bed and the principal
costumes paiamas. In Paradise is a dis
tinetive bedroom farce and gives the mind
no time TO reflect On its loOseness." II
these extracts may be believed the Offering
should provide something of a sensation
here In Paradise" viii be done at the
Columbia with what is mentioned as being
the original company-an organization
which includes Richard Golden, Minnie
Seligman, Hudson Liston, and others.
Excepting only Mrs. Fiske, who is with
out an equal in this country, no woman on
the American stage has created such a
sensation within the last decade as did
Mrs. Leslie Carter, when, after producing
the drama and introducing the star in
Washington, David Belasco took '+Zaza'' 10
New York. The piece ran at the Garrick
from December TO June and was again
staged in September with the most agree-
able results. Bookings on the road. how
ever. made necessary the interruption of
the engagement in Gotham and Mrs. Car
ter will be seen again next week at the
National. Seats go on sale Thursday
The Milton Aborn Opera Company, for
which many complimentary things have
been said in advance. will hold the boards
next week at the Lafayette. The standard
works are 10 be given, and-if report may
be belieyed-well given. Seats for the en-
gagenlent viii be placed on sale next
Thursday morning.
Still another premiere, On the night
OF October 30 at the National Theatre the
playgoers of Washington will be given
an opportunity OF passing on the much
tafked-o production of Chris and the
Wonderful Lamp" This piece Is a decid-
edly promising one. It's music having been
written by no less a parsonage than John
Philip Sousa and It's book by George
Broadhurst, author of What Happened to
Jones" aad other farces. The excellent
cast engaged includes Edna Wallace Hop
per and Jerome Sykes.
The times., 1899-10-15
FlNNIGAN'S BALL.
LAFAYETTE AIn9eRd1F. Ans15BG5Er

Electric Elevator to Balcony and Gallery.
Week OF Oct 10, Wednesday and Saturday Matt
nees. Popular Prices: 81, 75c, 5Oc, and 25e
The times., 1899-10-15
GO7HbN'S DULLES9 Week
The Past Six Days Have Brought
Nothing of Note to New York.

u. III. Sothern Has Postponed the
Production of ssThe Song of the
Swordv for the Manyeth Time, and
No New Effort Is Promised Be-
fore children of the Ghetto"