davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1899-12-21

Hicks-It is hardly possible that
marriage should come out of it between
two such persons.
Wicks-I don't know. He is a regu-
lar stick, and she has got enough brim-
stone in her to make a match.-Boston
Transcript.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1899-12-21
Knew What Was Coming.

She-Reggie, dear, there is some
thing of the old-time love light in
your eyes to-night-something about
you that reminds me of those sweet
days of long ago. I hope you have
He-Yes, ! have a little left. How
much will let me out this time-ten
or twenty Globe.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1899-12-21
A phiIosDUher.

Hopewell-I expect to make $4,000
out of that deal within six months.
Glumbird--I wouldn't count my
eggs before they're hatched.
That's poor maxim. II you can
get any fun out of counting them,
it's so much gain. What you don't
want to do Is to discount them
BROOKLYN Life.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1899-12-21
His Way Out.

Old Man-Don't you know that 1t is
good deal more economical to buy
ready-made clothing than it is to pay
the prices charged by fashionable
tailor?
Young Man--It is, of course, if you
paw the tailor.-Somerville Journal.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1899-12-21
For Almost Nothing,

Native-Ye wanter keep purity
straight in this here town, stranger,
fer the citizens lynch q man on the
slightest provocation.
New Arrival (smilingly)-Would yer
lynch feller fer KILN dog?
Native-Would we? Why. say, I've
lnowed a feller TO be lynched fer kill
in a Chinaman.-Town TOPICS.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1899-12-21
Where They Duy Them.

"I have resurrected what / think is
the oldest joke in the English Ian
guage."
'What are you going to do with it?"
sell it to a magazine for its depart
ment of humor, of course."-Chicago
Post.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1899-12-21
Proved His Innocence.

Mrs. Crimsonbeak - l understand
they found shirt button in the con-
tribution box, to-day. I hope you didn't
put it there, John?
Mr.. Crimsonbeak-Me? You ought
to know haven't had a shirt button on
a shirt for six weeks.-Yonkers States
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1899-12-21

"There are only two types of
feminine beauty that ! really admire"
Indeed" exclaimed Miss Cayenne.
"Yes, only two"
"And which are they"
BLONDES and brunettes." Washing
ton Star.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1899-12-21
Vast Wealth of Hindoostan.

In India there is more wealth than in
any other country in the world. Gold
fabrics, jewels sand spces-forages these
have been produced and found in this
land. One of the Indian princes owns
jewels valued at $4,000 900.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1899-12-21
similar But Different.

Mles-Where is your friend Jaggs
now?
Gilcs-1le's gone to the spirit land.
Niscs-1ndeed! It's strange ! never
heard of his demise.
Giles-Oh, he isn't dead. Hes visit
ing relatives In Kentucky.-Chicago
Daily News.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1899-12-21
Slightly wrinkled.

Isaacs-Shust look at dot, now; dot
coat fits like der baber on de vail!
Smithers-Yes, so it does; like some
paper ! put on the dining-room, the
other day.-llarlem Life.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1899-12-21
what Every Army Needs.

No army is complete without a press
censor says the Cincinnati Enquirer.
He gains more victories and reports
fewer losses than any other sort of an
officer or soldier.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1899-12-21
Connictinr Recouections.

"Never talk with more than one old
settler on a subject
"Why?"
"They always contradict each other"
Chicago Record.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1899-12-21
Tobacco Aroma Microbes.

A well-known German scientist has
discovered that the aroma of tobacco is
due to microbes, and il is said he will
patent, if he can, process for making
cheap cigars smell like expensive ones,
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1899-12-21

Sue Brette-You see that girl over
in the wings? She promised her IA
ther she'd never be an actress.
Foote Light-Well, she's kept her
word, hasn't stockholders States
man.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1899-12-21

Patience-Miss Styles was speaking
about her wealth of back hair.
Patrlce--Yes; she referred to the hair
she had some time back. - Yonkers
Statesman.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1899-12-21
Kent His Word

Whene'er he said he'd do a thing
He never hedged nor tarried,
So when he said he'd go TO war
He went straightway and married.
N. Y. Evening Journal.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1899-12-21
Her Now Cont.

She is charming in her natty golnng suit,
She is charming in her graceful evening
gown,
But I'm candop I must say
That her charms had fed away
When | saw her yesterday
In box coat that was cut straight up
and down.
Chicago Times-Herald.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1899-12-21
Icnrped Inv Experience.

Daughter-What is the dead-letter
Office, mamma?
Mamma - Your fathers pocket
t.rooklyn Life.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1899-12-21

Ralph-Suppose a fellows best girl
gets mad when he asks for kiss?
Curtis-Take ii without asking.
Raiph-Suppose she gets mad then?
Curtis-Then he's got some other fell
lows girl,-Harlem Life.
Wadsworth semi-weekly dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1899-10-25
STATIONERY
CONFECTIONERY

Have just received a Choice Stock Of
Fresh Candies and Nuts. ! also have
a First Glass grade Of Cigars, Tobacco,
Stationery, Etc.
Call. "for your mail" and see the
sweetest things in town.
A. w. MACPHERSON,
z .. Building, Wadsworth.
Wadsworth semi-weekly dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1899-10-25
NOTICE.

Hunte- IS are hereby notified that they
are forbidden to shoot on my ranch and
persons will be prosecuted if caught do
ing so. JOHN GARAvANTA.
Wadsworth semi-weekly dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1899-10-25
THREE DOCTORS IN CoNsULTA.
TION.
From Benjamin Franklin.

From Benjamin Franklin.
"When you are sick, what you like
best is to be chosen for a medicine in
in the first place; what experience tells
you is best, to be chosen in the second
place; what reason ii. e., Theory says
is hest to be chosen in the last place.
But if you can get DIR. Inclination. DR..
Experience and DR.. Reason to hold a
consultation together, they will give you
the best advice that can he taken"
When you have a bad cold DR.. In
"clination would recommend Chamber
lain's Cough Remed, because it is pleas
ant and safe to take. DR.. Experience
would recommend it because it never
fails to effect a speedy and permanent
cure. DIR. Reason would recommend it
because it is prepared on scientific
principles. and acts on natures plan in
relieving the lungs, opening the Sc
cretions and restoring the sys.em TO a
natural and healthy condition. For sale
by all druggists and Lovelock Com
mercial Co.
Wadsworth semi-weekly dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1899-10-25
ADVERTISING.

Advertising is the means Of COM
munication between the dealers and
their customers. Each separate line
Of articles need special ideas. therefore
the merchant who makes a success at
advertising never promiscuously tum-
bles a dozen and one different articles
into his advertisement. The progressive
merchant would not think Of making. a
c%razy-quilt display Of articles in his
show window, nor would he be guilty of
Gripping his advertisement by crowd
ing the limited space.
There are several different styles Of
advertising and various channels
through which the merchant can reach
the consumer, but the choice route to
the latters pocket book is through
the medium of the newspaper.
Printers Ink is. considered an authority
on advertising and that publication de-
claratively asserts that the news paper
is the only channel through which a
dealer who deals exclusively with the
consumer al expect results to flow.
Advertising cannot justly be called
an expense, although 1t is an expense
when ignorantly handled. Advertising
is al investment. Dealers in articles
where the profit in less than Is per
cent figure 2 per cent of their sales as
the proper proportion to be devoted to
advertising. There are lines where
the profit runs up as high as 300 or
400 per cent. These lines demand a
a much higher per cent devoted to adj
vertising. as the daily sales amount to
much less than where the profit is
smaller.
If you have anything to sell never
allow yourself to argue that there is no
need for advertising. Your friends
even, after awhile won't ask you If
you keep certain articles. They be-
come tired Of continually asking you
what you have in your store and grad
ualIy drift yer to your progressive
competitor who advertlses persistently
and continually,
Wadsworth semi-weekly dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1899-10-25

Judge Hawley passed through Reno
Sunday morning on his way from San
Francisco to Carson. He regretted very
much that time would not permit him
to remain for the funeral OF Geo. NJ.
Humphrey. He said this, with tears in
his eyes, Of the dead official; "Never
was the office of United States Marshall
80 well conducted as by Geo. Hum
phrey. He was fearless and efficient to
the last degree. journal.
Wadsworth semi-weekly dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1899-10-25
TELL YOUR SISTER

A Beautiful Complexion is an impos-
sibility without good pure blood, the
sort that only exists in connection with
good digestion, a healthy liver and
bowels. Karl's Glover Root Tea acts
directly on the bowels, liver and kid
neys keeping them in perfect health.
Price % cts. and so cts. for sale by f.
Griswold.
Wadsworth semi-weekly dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1899-10-25
on E BOTTLE

OF Shiloh's Consumption Cure is this
guarantee; IAN we ask OF You is to
use t%wo-thirds of the contents of this
bottle faithfully, then if you can say
yoG are not benefited return the bottle
to your druggist and he may refund the
price paid" Price 25 cts, so cts and
$l.00. For sale by 4. Griswold.
Wadsworth semi-weekly dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1899-10-25

A committee OF fifteen teachers from
the various schools of Nevada has been
appointed by the Washoe County teach
ers convention, 10 In progress, to re-
wise the text book list now in in use and
to report TO the State Board OF Educa-
ton.
Wadsworth semi-weekly dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1899-10-25
0 is YOUR MIEE2

Has she lost her beauty? If so, Con-
stipation, Indigestion, Sick Heaeache
are the principal causes. Karl's Glover
Root Tea has cured these ills for nall a
century. Price 25 cts. and 30 cts.
Money refunded if results are not salts.
factory. For sale by Il. Griswold.
Wadsworth semi-weekly dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1899-10-25
DO O KNOW

Consumption is preventable? Science
has proven that, and also that neglect is
suicidal. The worst cold o; cough can
be cured with Shiloh's Cough and Con-
sumption Cure. Sold on positive gnar-
antee for over fifty years. For sale by
+. GriswOld.
Wadsworth semi-weekly dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1899-10-25
DOES THIS STRIKE YOU?

Muddy complexion, Nauseatinp
breath come from chronic constipation.
Karl's Clover Root Tea is an absolute
cure and has been sold for fifty years on
an absolute guarantee Price % cts.
and so cts. For sale by E. Griswold.
Wadsworth semi-weekly dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1899-10-25
Water Filthers.

The Little Brown Jug is the best
and cheapest germ-proof water filther
in use. A sure preventative for typhoid
and material fevers. This simple
and effective invention can be seer in
operation at the residence Of
MRS. c. H. GRIFFEE
Agent.
Wadsworth semi-weekly dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1899-10-25

For SALE-House Of eight rooms,
cellar, well, electric lights, lawn. In
quire Of Mrs. J. r. Forrest at Theo.
Wetmore's.
Wadsworth semi-weekly dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1899-1904, 1899-10-25

Kodol Dyspepsia Cure is a scientific
compound having, the endorsement Of
eminent physicians and the medical
press. 1t "digests what you eat and
positively cures dyspepsia. NJ. 4. Ket-
ron, Bloomingdale, Tenn says it cured
him OF indigestion Of ten years standing.
Sold by @. w Kinney & 90.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1899-02-10

While Vermont has not trken the de-
gree of interest in the beet sugar problem
that has prevailed in many other states
owing in part to the extent to which the
production of maple sugar figures
among our industries, the fact remains
that the cultivation of the sugar beet
has been found to be commercially
profitable as well as possible in our
latitude; but even if the production o:
beet sugar is never introduced in our
state our maple sugar men must face
the competition which result from its
introduction in other sections of the
country.
The surrender of Spanish sovereignty
In Cuba and Porto Rico and the certainty
that both of those islands would event
ually become part of the United States
have led many people to suppose that
the opening up of those fields for the
free production of cane sugar would
initiate against the infant beet sugar
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1899-02-10
THE MORGAN REGISTER.

All ANIMALS to be registered in Volume
I'd of American Morgan Register must
be forwarded at once.
Any animal in any of the following
classes is eligible to registry in the
American Morgan Register:
l. Any merltorlous stallion or mare
that traces in direct male line to Justin
Morgan and has at least one siXty-fourth
of his blood. Provided the dam and the
sire's dam be of approved speed or road
ster blood.
2. Any meritorious animal having one
thirty-second or more of the blood OF
Justin Morgan. Provided the dam and
the sire's sire and dam be of approved
speed or roadster blood.
3. The produce of sire and dam
both regis tered in the Morgan Register.
The fee for registering stations one
year old and over will be 81 each, and
mares, geldings and colts under one
year, 81 each. JOSEPH BATTELL,
Middlebury, VT.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1899-02-10

industry; and few months interest in
this project plainly languished. Judging
from present indications, however, 1t
will be some time before sugar from
Cuba and Porto Rico can have free
scope in this country, even though ex-
ports from the latter should be admitted
to this country free duty; for the ex.
penses of the local government in those
Islands must be met In part by export
duties. Moreover it must be many
years before sugar can be admitted free
to this country from Cuba, and much
less from the Philippines. The duties
on that product when imported will en-
nance the cost to the producers, and the
product of beet sugar will in the mean
time have an excellent opportunity to
develop.
1t is significant in this connection that
legislatures of various states are taking
active measures to increase the produc-
ton of beet sugar. The Illinois senate
and house have simultaneously received
received bills providing for the payment
of bounty of one cent pound on all
sugar manufactured from sugar beets
grown in the prairie States, and Judging
from all account law to this effect will
he enacted. In Michigan it is said the
new bounty on beet sugar is causing a
vast expansion of the industry. In
Minnesota ii is reported that the bounty
on beet sugar will be continued by the
legislature for two years more; and in
various other western states, especially
in Nebraska the industry is thriving.
Turning to New York we find that the
experiments in that state have been a
established in different parts of the
state, and the experiments conducted
have been so satisfactory that the legis-
lature at Albany is seeking to enact
legislation to establish the industry on a
permanent basis. That confidence in the
future Of this industry is felt is shown
by the fact that one firm engaged in the
manufacture of machinery for the beet
sugar mills announces that it has APP
pications from many parts of the
country for plans and estimates for the
establishment of factories. When one
recalls that this country consumes
5000 900 tons of sugar annually, it is
not surprising that this feeling should
prevail. Wa shall be surprised in view
of all the circumstances if beet sugar
production does not become one of our
most flourishing and profitable industries
during the coming decade Burlington
Free Press
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1899-02-10
Women Should Know 1t.

Many women suffer untold agony and
misery because the nature of their dis
ease is not correctly understood. They
have been led to believe that womb
trouble or female weakness of some sort
is responsible for the many ills that be-
set womankind.
Neuralgia, nervousness, headache,
puffy or dark circles under the eyes,
rheumatism. dragging pain or dull
ache in the back, weakness or bearing
down sensation. profuse or scanty sup
ply of urine with strong OdOr, frequent
desire to pass it with scalding or burning
sensation, sediment in it after standing
in bottle or common glass for twenty
four hours, are signs of kidney and
bladder trouble.
The above symptoms are often attri-
buted by the patient herself or by her
physician to female weakness or womb
trouble. Hence, so many fail to obtain
relief. because they are treating, not the
disease itself, but reflection of the
primary cause, which is kidney trouble.
In fact, women as well as men are
made miserable with kidney and bladder
trouble and both need the same remedy.
DR.. Kilmer's Swamp-Root is the great
discovery of the eminent kidney and
bladder specialist, and is easy to get at
any drug store for fifty cents or one
dollar.
To prove its wonderful merits you may
have sample bottle and book telling all
about it, both sent absolutely free by
mail. Kindly mention REGISTER and
send your address to DR.. Kilmer & Co.,
Binghamton, n. Y.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1899-02-10
Pain Conquered; Health Re-
stored by Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound.
[LErrER TO MRS. r1NKHAM NO. oa,64oI


81 feel it my duty to write and thank
you for what your Vegetable Com
pound has done for me. 1t is the only
medicine | have found that has done
me any good. Before taking your medi-
cine, was all run down, tired all the
time, no appetite, pains in my back and
bearing down pains and a great suf-
ferer during menstruation. After talk
ing two bottles of Lydia e. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound l felt like a new
woman. / am now on my fourth bottle
and all my pains have left me. feel
better than / have felt for three wears
and would recommend your Compound
to every suffering woman. hope this
letter will help others to find cure
for their troubles" - Mrs. DELLA
REnCKER, RENSSELAER,, IND.
The serious ills of women develop
from neglect of early symptoms. Every
pain and ache has a cause, and the
warning they give should not be disre-
garded.
Mrs. Pinkham understands these
troubles better than any local ply
stefan and will give every woman free
advice who is puzzled about her
health. Mrs. Pinkham's address is
Lynn, Mass. Don't put off writing until
health is completely broken down
Write at the first indication of trouble.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1899-02-10

than when she retired at night. She
had terrible deathly sensation worse
than any pain she ever suffered. Her
stomach and digestion were bad, for she
was completely Frustrated. We saw DR..
Greene's Nervura blood and nerve remedy
advertised and determined to try it..
She is now healthy woman, able to do
her ordinary work, with good digestion,
good sleep and is cheerful. This is what
Dir. Greene's Nervura has done for her.
l will cheerfully answer any questions in
regard to my wifes cure"
You can consult Dr. Greene, "a Temple
Place, Boston, Mass, free of charge,
whether you call or write.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1899-02-10

influenced by its spirit In so far as
kiplng speaks for tbs helpful and CO.
operative assumption by a strong nation
of the burdens of weaker and less en-
lightened peoples the philosophy of his
poem is wholesome and sound. That
was precisely what the United States at
tempted to do in interfering for the
liberation of. the Cubans from Spanish
misrule. Moved by a desire for the
uplifting of a people struggling for
liberty. this nation tuCk up the burden of
Cuba. After helping the inhabitants of
of that island to a position of independ-
ence we shall leave them to work out
their own destiny, with the offer of such
assistance as they may care to receive
from US.
But Kipling's idea of "the white mans
burden" seems to go further than this.
Apparently he would have the strong
force their unwelcomed benefactions
upon the weak and the backward.
He says:
"Take up the White Mans burden
Send forth the best we breed
Go, bind your sons to exile
To serve your captives' need;
TO wait, in heavy harness,
On fluttered folk and wild
Your new. caught sullen peoples.
Half devil and half child.
"Take up the White Mans burden
And reap his old reward
The blame of those ye better,
The hate of those ye guard
The cry of hosts We humor
(Ah, slowlyD toward the light:
why brought ye us from bondage,
Our loved Egyptian night"
The trouble with this idea is that it is
so easily abused. No persons are so
open to self-deception as those who
claim to be ruling others for their own
good. SPANS plea always was that the
Spaniard in Cuba and the Philippines
was bearing the white mans burden in
governing an inferior race. contrary to
its wishes, for its own good The native
man was kept in a state of slavery like
wise for his own good. The main propo-
sition embodied in Kipling's new poem is
wholesome. The United States should
shirk no duty or opportunity for helpful
assistance to those in need of the white
mans aid. whether in cuba or the Philip
pines. The implication running through
the poem that the United States should
force upon those islands such rule as it
thinks fer their good is dangerous and
deceptive doctrine, in consistent with the
spirit of American institutions. So far
as our relations with Cuba are concerned,
that doctrine has been specifically dis
claimed. 1t should be with regard to the
Philippines. From the Americans point
of view the white mans burden should
be one of patient and helpful guidence
and assistance in the directinon of prog
ress ano liberty, not forced molding of
"new-caught sullen peoples" according
to our ideas of what is good for them
Chicago Record.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1899-02-10
DOES COFFEE AGREE WITH Your

IT not, drink Grain-O-made from pure
grains. A lady writes: "The first time
made Grain-O did not like it but after
duce me to 90 back TO coffee" 1t nour-
ishes and feeds the system. The chill
dren can drink it freely with great bene-
fit. 1t is the strengthening substance of
pure grains. Get package to-day from
your grocer, follow the directions in
making it and you will have a delicious
and healthful table beverage for old and
young. l5c. and 25c.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1899-02-10

These are dangerous times for the
health. Group, colds and throat troubles
lead rapidly to Consumption. A bottle
of One Minute Cough Cure used at the
right time will preserve life, health and
a large amount of money. Pleasant to
take; children like it, Isaac Storms,
Middlebury; b. G. Peck or Day Bros,
East Middlebury; C. w. Sowle, West
Cornwall; ID. II. Bennett, Bridport; C.
b. Kendall, Shoreham; F. c. Dyer, West
Salisbury w. B. French, Orwell.
Middlebury register. (Middlebury, Vt.) 1886-1937, 1899-02-10
THOUGHT SHE MUST DIE.
Complete Nervous PrOStratiOn
and Unable to Work.
Slecpless, and Mornings was More
Tired than When She Retired.
DR.. Greene's Nervura Has Made Her
Healthy, Cheerful and Able To Work.

B. ]. Stockwell, Waitsfeld, VT, says /:
"MIy wife was down for two years, being
for the most time confined to her bed.
She had complete nervous prostration.
She was unable to do any work during all
this time about the house. There were
times when for a week at time she did
not sleep hardly any. When she got up
she would say that she was more exhausted