Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1899-07-08


What do they mean by teaching the
young idea how to shoot%" why, .
showing them how to have some aim in
life, of course. Philadelphia Bulletin. |
Tommy-Grandpa, are kings and
queens always good? Grandpa-Not
always, my boy; not when there are
aces out against them. Brooklyn Life, |
Mrs. Gotham-So your marriage was
a failure! Mrs. Lakeside-Yes but I'm
the preferred creditor-all my hus.
bands property is in my name.-Town
Topics.
Primus-Dynamite is the most won
derful invention of the age Secundus
Why? Primus-There's nothing IL
the world can hold candle to it.-Yale
Record.
Mrs. Styles-Do you read much fic
ton? Mrs. Myles-Well. yes; | get
letter nearly every day from my hus.
band when he's ON the road.-Yonkers
Statesman.
He-Be mine, darling. You are the
lamp that alone can light my existence,
She-Ies, dear; but papa doesn't think
you are good match for me.-Jewek
ers Weekly.
FacetiouS Cent can tell from youl
looks that you believe in spiritualism
Am / right? Solemn Waiter-Wen, ]
do have some faith in table tipping
indianapolis Journal
First Negro hea Sam Yallerby
has eloped VIII white mans wife
Second Negro-Yais; de patriotic cuss
has took up de white mans burden
as kipling says.-Judge.
Won Blumer-I am afraid we haven't
much for dinner, but such as it is
Cllnker-Don't make any excuses, old
man. Remember that | have dined nj
your house before.-Detroit Free
: Press.
One Sort-"You sold this dog to m,
) for bird-dOg. lie doesn't know
bird when he sees one. | took him ou'
yesterday and he wouldn't look ut s
bird" "Well. how was the bird cook
edY-Brooklyn Life.
Teacher ito new scholar)-What II
, your name" New Boy-My name Is
julie, sir. Tcacher-You should have
said julius, sir And now, my lad"
turning to another lad, what is you
, name? Bilious, sir."-Tit- Bits.
isn't San Tomas an English town 2"
! asked Van Braam. "Of course not
| replied Dinwiddie. ITS Philippine
town. What made you ask if it Were
Englishf' Il noticed that the n hat
+ been dropped. Chronicle
> Telegraph.
He-Oh, by the way, the doctor adj
vised me to eat n water cracker before
going TO bed; said it would prevent my
I insomnia. Are there any in the house,
e She-The only thing in the house ap
= preaching a water cracker is the ice
: pick.-Indianapolis Journal.
+ Brother John-And so the baby /,
n four days old, is it? Pears like it's q
o pretty bright little thing for its age
s Sister Mary Observation-Disclosures! That's
+ not the word; it's a wonder. Why the
0 little precious breathes as natural and
g regular as an adult fifty years old
e Judge.
"What's the use of keeping on asking
: all these questions, when the witness
: insists on saying, i don't know
perhaps there isn't a great deal OF
e use," answered the investigator. "BuI
s 1t is something of a luxury to find 8
e man in this town who is willing to adj
e NIT there is anything he doesn't know
l Washington Star.
> Mr.. Meeker stepped out into thu
kitchen a moment to speak word tt
the new girl. "Verena," he said, 'wher
. you bring the turkey to the table place
=. 1t before Mrs. Meeker. She will tel
you to take it to me, and you can dc
So This will start things right ant
you'll get along with Mrs. Meeker with
out any rouble."-Chicago Tribune.
There is a cat sits every night on
our back fence" he explained to the
:, lawyer land he yowls, and yowls, ant
yowls. Now, l don't want to get into
any trouble with my neighbor but ]
> would like to know If | am not jueti'
fed in putting stop to IT," Certain
ly," replied the lawyer. ~ am Wen
. within my rights if | shoot the cat
then" he inquired, gleefIlly. "Um
well, l would hardly say that" an
swered the lawyer; 1.-The cat does moi
belong to you, as l understand itT
NO" "And the fence does" yes
"Well, then, | think 1 may safely say
that you have q perfect right 20 teal
, down the fence."-Chicago Post.
. Grocer Ito shopman)-Peter. l owe
about three hundred pounds" Yes
SIR" 81 have two hundred pounds In
the safe, but the shop is empty;
4lir,l. IL. r.icrlt AirI1n % knIl n