New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-03-10
THE TALK or THE DAY.

THE Army and Navy Journal tolls story OF
a warrior from a Mississippi town. The women
organized Red Cross Auxiliary Society. and
among their contributions to the comfort Of their
absent heroes case OF home made pajamas.
The box containing these was sent to camp. but no
acknowledgment OF its receipt returned. SO the
good women telegraphed. Anxious TO know II you
got the pajamas last week" Now. the captain had
been sitting up with the boys the night before.
and when the dispatch handed him he was
trying TO reduce his swollen head with wet towel,
and his mind somewhat confused. So the
women OF the relief society astonished by the
receipt of this dispatch: STORY is a lie out Of
whole CLOTH probably made up by my enemies TO
ruin me politically. Admit not total alb
stainer, but never had tho pajamas last week or
at any other time"
AN ELECTROSTATIC PAIR
He was the gallant engineer
OF giant dynamo;
She sang to the wires the whole day long
With a chorus OF 'Helo?'
He loved this telephone maid,
TIL his hearts vibrating plate
Was maSnetized and polarized
At a milliamperc rate
His love he well expressed in ohms.
And amperes. even In volts
In voltac phrases and dynamo figures,
Or currents. arc lights and bolts.
Said he: by the great broken circuit.
or more. by the Ruhmkorff coil.
Your negative answers Will drive me
To some subway under the sol.
Not a spark of inductive affection,
I'm afraid the wires have grounded
In favor or some other lad
Then regret like a galvanometer
or an astatic needle. 1t smote her.
And she said cor love have ions
AS strong an Edison motor"
So he opened the circuit and clasped her
In arm-ature. and held her there
And she the belle electric
or this thermo-electric pair.
-(Hardware
'In the Senate restaurant" says the Washing
ton correspondent OF THE Chicago Record" pie
costs 10 cents and the walters levy tip tax equal
to 80 per cent OF the cost Of the food consumed.
Cigars are sold two for quarter and upward, and
II is regarded as evidence of low breeding 10
accept change. Into this arstocratic environ
ment came the other day Associate Justice John
NJ Harlan. of the United States Supreme Court.
With all the impressveness of his six feet five
inches and his 200 and odd pounds weight. he
walked up 10 the cigar counter and laid down
bright new dime. Then in that deep full voice.
which his son and namesake in Chicago has found
such a valuable legacy he said: Give me mild
hye-cent cigar Whereupon a poor committee
clerk who had just exchanged his last quarter for
two Cabbasios. went away 10 ponder on the
OF American institutions"
80 you have no House Of Lords IN this coun-
tryY' said the visiting Englishman: ,,
mo we haven't" replied the American: this
IS a nation without a peer Iarper's Bazaar.
THE Cleveland Plain Dealer tells story to
show that there Is sometimes great deal In the
way OF putting anything: 81 understand that you
said my eldest daughter homely as a mud
fence professor" You are quite mistaken. my
dear madam What I said that your
teemed child reminded me OF a mixture Of terra
hrma and aqua pura combined in practical
boundary line" "Oh is that all? Dine with us on
Sunday. professor"
Mrs. Bmm-'The Dobsons at last have girl
they hope keep.
Mrs GrImp-Absurd Where is such girl to be
found?
she was born to them sterday."-Philadelphia
North American