The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-08-13
WHY ARE THESE THINGS?
The Chronickicker Hath Made
a Loud Noise.
SEWING CIRCLE GABLE
Strange and Wondrous Are the Bathy.
bius-Like Organisms OF the Second
airy Aggregation Now Served
III Mssoula Drinks

MISSOURI, Aug. l2.-And, behold, 1t
came TO pass in the city that was
builded by the river, even the city that
was called by the inhabitants thereof,
Missoula, that there was much noise
among the people. And this was in the
reign of Web. even of him that laughed,
ha. ha! And the people of the city
would not be comforted. Then said
Web unto his wise men. even unto
Joseph and Andrew of the Eastward
and unto John and Miles of the second
ward and unto Glib and Sid of the
thirdward. and unto Al and John of
the fourthward. even unto the men who
gave him counsel, and thus spake he
unto them: why are these things,
and why, O, wise men, are the people,
so much disturbed" And he spake
thus unto Hughes, even unto him that
carried the German vote in his pocket
And they answered him and said: 10!
are there not bacteria in the ice that is
sold by Ottosiegel, even by him who
runs the inn upside-down by the de-
pot?" And Web marveled much.
For, behold, there had been many
bacteria in the city, even the bacteria
and the microbes and the microcosms
and the filamentous cells that multi
ply by transverse tission, and they had
multiplied in the lakes on Higginsaven-
ne and in the alleys of the city. And
the wise men had made no cry. And
as Web, even he that laughed, ha, ha!
marveled within himself, he shook his
head and spake aloud, even unto him
SELF for there was none other nigh.
and said: Verify, it is strange" And
he told himself that the germs of
the smallpox and of fever and of
noisome pestilence had wandered free
in the city that was builded by the
river and the wise men had made no
complaint, nor Hughes. even he that
carried the German vote in his pocket.
And when Web asked these things of
himself he received no answer. For.
behold, it was true, even as he had
said unto himself that these things
had been and there was no complaint
And behold, there was much cry about
| the bacteria that We're in the ice, even
| in the ice that was frozen in the stream
| that flowed by the city and is called in
language of the people, Rattlesnake.
| And it came to pass that the sun that
| was in the heavens, even the great sun
| that had been placed there to give light
and heat unto the people, shone forth
| and prevailed nightly. And the peo-
! pie waxed hot in the city. Then sought
| they the cooling drinks from the bars
that were within the city. even the
mint julep, the milk punch and the
| beer For they were thirsty
But there came unto them, even unto
the people of the city who WaXed
thirsty, the chronickickers and spake
| unto them saving: Drink not of the
mint julep nor of the milk punch nor
of the beer. for behold. there are bac-
terra even in the ice that is used there
in, even the ice that is sold by Otto
siegel. And the people heard not, fo1
they We're thirsty.
| Then said the chronickickers unto
| one another: What shall we do? Be
| hold, has not Ottosiegel much ice and
| does he not sell It. even unto these peo-
pie? And they will not hear us, for they
| like Otto and they say that his ice is
good even the ice that is infected with
bacteria and germs and infusoria and
| microbes. even with the filamentOus
cells that multiply by transverse fsslon
| And the chronickickers made great
noise in the city, even the noise that
| disturbed Web and caused him to as
semble his wise men. And as they reas'
| oned one with another, even Web, who
! laughed, ha! ha! and the wise meI
| and Hughes, even he who carried the
German vote in his pocket, there came
unto them Johnnyevans, even tn
counsellor of Otttosiegel, and he spak'
unto them saying: 20, mighty wen
who rulest over the city, and ye wis
men who give counsel unto the king
even unto Web. Why hath this thins
been done in the land and to my client
For he has not trangressed the law
nor has he done aught to OFFEND thee.
And the counsellors of Web, even tn
wise men and Hughes, listened, 70
they liked their booze cooled with Ice
especially when somebody sets up IN
drinks. So.
And they said: This is not our bust
ness. We will do nothing. And, be
hold. they did nothing. For was no
this what they had done when the bac
terra had been in the land before
But the chronickckers held not thel
peace. And they made much nois
within the land. And they went unit
Bob, even unto him whom Web hat
made to look after the sewers and tn
vaults and who was captain of tn
hosts that fought the flames and VIII
herded the bacteria, and they spak
things be? And Bob answered them
saying: Verify, ] know not. For, 10
he knew not. But he went then unit
the physicians. even unto those whom
Web had placed in high authority, an
said to them: O, healers and learne
men, behold. it has been said unto me
even by the chronickickers that Their
are bacteria in the ice. even in the ic
that is frozen in the stream that run
by the city and is called the Rattle
snake, and the ice that is sold by Otto
siegel And the doctors listened.
Then came again the chronickickers
And this time came they even unto tn
bOardofhealth, for they were nue.
/ wrOth. And when they had come unit.
the boardOfhealth, even unto tn
learned doctors, they spake unto them
saying: "Hearkeu unto the supplca
tiOns of thy servants and of us thy pc
titioners, when we shall pray towar'
this place; yea. hear We. even from
your high station. For, behold, doe
not OttOsiegel run two iCewagonS
where we run but one, and does he no
sell much ice that we might sell wer
he frozen out, even as his ice is frozen
Hear us, then, we pray thee, for We ar
in a jackpot. For. behold, the chronic
kiCkers were iCemen themselves ant
they wanted a cinch on the business.
Then called the wise doctors upol
Bob, even upon him that Web hat
placed in high station. even him tina