The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-01-31
MEDITATIONS Of Mr.. DOOLEY
Another Characteristic Discourse On
the Expansion Question.
(ChicaCO Journal

| 'Whin we plant what Hogan calls tn
starry banner " Freedom in tn Philip
/ peenes," said Mr.. Dooley, an give III
/ sacred blessin iv liberty to the poor,
down throdden people iv thin infer
tunate isleS-dam thim-we'll larn them
a lesson"
Sure" said Mr.. Hennessy, sadly, I'VE
have a thing or two TO larn Ourselves
But it isn't FIR thin to larn us said
Mr.. DOoley. ''Tis not FIR thin wretched
an degraded crathers, without q mind
or a shirt iv their own, FIR to give les
son in politene5s an liberty to a nation
that manyfacthers more dhressed beef
than amy other imperyal nation in TN
WurTuld. We say to thin: 'Naygurs,'
we say, poor, dissolute, uncovered
wretches,' says we, 'whin tn crol hand
iv Spain forged man cies FIR ye'er limbs,
as Hogan says, who was it crossed III
say an sthruck off tn cOme-alOngs?
We did, by dad. we did. An now, ye
miserable childish-minded apes. We
propose f'r to larn ye tn uses iv lib
erty. In ivry city in this unfair land
we will erect school houses an packin'
houses an houses iV correction, an
wei larn We cur language, because It's
aisier TO larn We ours than to larn our
silves yours. an We'll give We clothes if
ye pay fr thin, an if ye don't We can
x
can go to tn morgue-we name tn res
th'rant-an ate a good square meal iv
ar Tmy beef An we'll sind tn gr-reat
Gin raj Eagan over FIR to larn We etiket
an Andrew Carnegie to larn We pa
threetism with blOw-holes into it, an
Gin'ral Alger to larn We to hOuld onto
a job, an Whin we've become edyeated
an have all tn blessings IN civilization
that we don't want. thatn count We
cause we haven't more thin enough to
go round now. but we'll threat We tn
way a father shud threat his children
if we have to break ivry bone in ye'er
bodies. SO come to our ar-rms,' says
we.
But, glory be, tbs more like a ras-
slim match than a fathers embrace. Up
gets this little monkey iv an Aguenal-
doc an says he: Not Tor US ne says
We thank ye kindly. but we believe, he
says, in pathroniZin' home industhries,'
he says, an he says, I have on hand
he says, an f'r sale he says, "a very
slpeTyor brand iv homemade liberty
like yeer mother used to make he
says. 'Tis a long way firm ye'er plant
to here he says, an be tn time a
cargo iv liberty he says, got out here
an was handled be tn middlemen, he
says, 1T might spoil he says. We don't
WanN stIiAy COL SllIaSe OF S1DDdlmeQ
liberty he says. What we want an
what tn OF reliable house Of Aguenal-
doo,' he says. supplies to tn thrade,'
he says, is fr-resh liberty, Fright off
tn far'rm,' he says. I can't do amy
thing with ye'eT proposition he says.
I can't give up he says, tn rights FIR
which f'r five years I've fought an
bled ivry wan / cud rTeach. he says
'Onless,' he says, 'ye'd feel like buyin'
out tn whole business he says. I'm
a pathrite,' he says, but I'm no bigot,'
he says.
An there it stands, Hinnisy. with tn
indulgent parent kneeiin' on tn stom-
ach iv his adopted child, while a dilly-
cation firm Boston basted him with an
umbrella There it stands, an how will
it come out l dunnawi I'm not much
iv an expansionist mesilf. FIR tn las
tin years I've been thryin' to decide
whether 'twud be good policy an thrue
to me Traditions to make this here
bar two or three feet longer, an man
nys tn night I've laid awake thryin
to puzzle it out. But don't know what
to do with tn -Ph'lippeens amy more
thin l did las summer, befure l heerd
tell iv thin. We can't give thin TO
amy wan without maxim tn wan that
gets thin feel tn way Doherty felt to