The Iola register. [volume] (Iola, Allen County, Kansas) 1875-1902, 1899-11-17
KANSAS CLIPS AND COMMENTS.

Fifty days more will bring down
upon this devoted people the
naughtiest year in history.
Abilene smells branch plant OF
the American Pure Food Co., ana
wants it so bad she can taste it.
A bachelor farmer near Emporia
became respondent ami killed MIN.
self, and yet men will go right along
in dangerous celibacy.
There is a preacher at FIT. Scott
named Rev. A. Jolly and he probably
finds some difficulty in laundering
he'll fire at his congregation.
a colored mon from Joplin entered
the Oswego depot sunday night and
the following morning broke out with
smallpox and now Oswego is scared
stiff.
\ travelling contortionist gave
street exhibition at Pittsburg the day
after election and people wouldn't
look at him, under the impression
that he was merely defeated candi-
date.
1t is reported that about one-third
of the twentieth Kansas will re-
turn to the Philippines either to en-
gage in war or business. This esti-
mate is doubtless greatly eX-
aggerated.
"He didn't know it was loaded"
item from the seneca Tribune: \ man
In. ksfa Ton Ia atN,Y lr..
of beer, was Knocked seuseless by the
stopper, which was blown from the
bung.
Hutchinson News: The Spearville
man who shook hands with Funston
is held in such high esteem on that
account that the people are talking of
giving him reception.
Salina Sunday Schools advertise
"iOint convention tor next week.
Now watch the bad old boys begin at
tending school as the bad young boys
do just before Christmas.
Every time the Washington patent
attorneys hear of another banquet 70
the Twentieth they rejoice, for the
govt resulting from these functions
can be laid to the war.
Emporia and the Santa Fe have
been much enamored for years but
they are about to fall out over the
price OF water. The mere mention Of
the subject has dampened loves ardor.
When the Twentieth band played
"a Hot Time" at it's Topeka concert
the audience encored the piece four
times, and yet Topeka claims to be
the center Of Kansas musical culture.
Winters will no longer terrify the
western Kansas grandmother. A Sa-
lima brick plant now turns out % 900
brick daily and there Will be a supply
sufficient to furnish a hot brick for
every foot in the west.
Jas. A. Davis, industrial commits
sioner Of the Santa Fe, is now work
ing upon plan to start q mammoth
beet sugar refinery IN the Arkansas
valley in western Kansas. Mr.. Davis
is a good friend to Kansas.
No sooner had the golf names
ceased to bring goose flesh upon the
Kansas imagination than here comes
a coursing note from Cottonwood
Falls with the statement that o. M.
White will act as "slipper."
Funston and the Twentieth have
furnished lots of copy to the Kansas
papers during the recent campaign
and now that the boys are home the
copy still comes in. 1t is now labeled
poetry" and Is inexhaustible APP
parently.
Talk about looking on the bright
side of things Gumbo Is supposed
to be the orneryiest dirt possible, but
the SalinR Union says: "The Union
Pacific superintendent has pro-
nounced the gumbO east of town
equal to any in the State"
An Independen tailor advertises
thusly: Gentlemen. The best evil
dence that / will please you with
your suits Is that please the ladies'"
He might as we'll leave town, for If
what he says is true all the men will
hate him.