The Washington weekly post., 1899-06-27

her sleeve. but ne reached Tor II an
said.
MY dear woman. do not let eny feeiins
Of embarrassment prevent you IRON
speaking your mird- You called 10 an
noCnce that owed you for several weeks
room rent and board. You nave the sxae
number down on this paper. You hav'
made no mistake about it. There is not
assure you. the slightest cause for EN-
barrassment on either side. Observe no"
calm and placid l ann
II need the money. Major"
Very likely. my dear woman-yery ike
ly-but even II you didn't the bill is cor
rect and must be paid II shall be PAID
am a man Of sentiment, bat / never le'
sentiment interfere with business. foGi
terms are reasonable. the outlook from
these windows is all that could be desired
and years hence, as l accidentally CONS
across this bill In my desk, l shall recaA
yCur many acts of kindness. Did you
wish to see me about anything in particu'
lar this evening"
"Tha-the bill
"The bill? Exactly. The bill is correct
to a cent, and l am not disputing IL
thank you for your efforts in my behalf
That is, / thank you fer bringing up the
bill / shall treasure il. / shaE SGarc
Il with jealous care. And now that We
have disposed OF il, let US turn to some
thing else. My dear woman, this is
cold and cruel world, but there is at seasi
one man in 1t who does not forget MS
friends. His name is
If you could pay me. Major" she in
terrupted.
His name is Maj. Crofoot, Grand Pro-
moter," continued the Major. as he Iaid
his hand upon his heart In dim unde-
fined way it was known TO you that
organize trusts, form syndicates, inaugu-
rate enterprises, and evolve schemes from
which millions of profit are made, but not
until this moment was it known to you
that within three months you VIII be
spoken of as one of the richest women In
the United States. In your dealings win
me as a landlady you have been strictly
Just, utterly unselfish and teetotally un-
suspicious-te-to-tally ! have not said
much about il, but your action has APP
pealed to me, and 1t gives me pleasure
TO inform you"
IF don't get the money from you
can't pay my rent"
1T gives me pleasure TO inform you, my
when / can reward you. Yesterday my
scheme-my latest enterprise was not far
enough advanced to take you in, or /
should have sent for you. This evening 1t
is perfected. You are taken in. You en-
tered this room as a landlady without
encouraging financial prospects; you leave
it as treasurer of one of the most gigan-
tic money-making monopolies in the
known world, and need not hesitate to
order 100 tons of coal at once. Do not
faint away, madam-do not call for the
police In your excitement. You look at
me in blank amazement, but lie; me make
things a little clearer"
do get my money! she asked.
'Ten thousand times over, my dear
woman-t-e-n thousand times. During the
last hour l have perfected the organiza-
ton of the Great American Fly-Betrayer
Company. and while / am the President
and general manager of the same. / here
with tender you the office OF treasurer.
/ shall take no refusal. Your duties will
be light. your salary $4,000 per year. and
the stock, which you take at ground-fioor
figures will be at a premium OF 20 per
cent. in less than three months. As you
step from your humble abode TO order
the 100 tons of coal / spoke of, kill sew
eral birds with one stone by ordering dia-
monds, seaIskins, a victoria, and ether
articles of luxury at the same time. Tushi
TushI No thanks. You stood by Maj.
Crofoot when ii would have embarrassed
him to pay a weeks board bill, and now
with millions in sight he sta Ms by you"
"Rut-MajOr-" she began as he
paused for breath.
Let me explain. my dear treasurer"
he blandly interrupted. You have seen
sticky fiy-paper, of course? II comes in
sheets Flies light on ii and stick fast
and die Good thing, I'll admit, but I've
got better. Well put up the stuff in
cans, instead of spreading II on paper.
That gives all buyers chance to use up
all the old newspapers and magazines in
the house Stuff can also be carried with
you as you travel, and shipped TO all
countries in the world. A silyerhandled
knife goes with each can TO spread with.
Can be spread on any kind of paper, or
used on the vindow-sills or doorsteps.
Three or four leaves from the family al
manac warranted TO capture 100 flies 10
the leaf. One can properly distributed on
the kitchen floor will yield a crop of 800
coekroaehes within tWenty-four hours
Makes no distinction between insects. but
captures them all. Owners Of cows have
but TO use the contents of a l0-cent can
along the spine and q thousand flies will
cease to trouble. No fear of the chill
dren-
Mai. Crofoot, must have my money"
''No fear of the children Deiag poisoned
or the house blown up, and any child five
years old can follow the instructions.
Saves putting up screens at doors ard
windows, warranted TO keep in any eli
mate, and there's cents profit on every
l0-cent can. There you are, madam, and
t-h-e-r-e you are, and we'll sell SC, 90 tons
of the BeIrayer as fast as il can be put
up. If you haven't any old newspapers
lying around, and don't want TO tear any
leaves out of your Gospel Hymn Book or
the Pilgrims Progress spread the Be-
trayer on pieces of old sheets or shirts
Worn-eut door mats and fragments cf
carpets can also be used. All Tie fly
wants is 10 get at the stuff, and the Iain-
ute he alights his doom is scale l. One
50-cent can is warranted 10 Keep any
house clear of flies for three months.
Treasurer of the Great American FIy-Be-
trayer Company, / greet yoa."
But ! can't run my house without get
my pay" persisted the pertarbed and
lady.
II greet you and l congratulate YOU"
the Major. ''I shall at once be-
gin advertising the merits Of our FIy-9e-
trayer, contracting for ingredients, cars,
printing. &C., while you must get ready
TO take care OF the cash receipts. No
bond Will be exacted. You nave :.usted
me and / shall trust you. Your salary
will be payable monthly. and the div
dends on your stock will come quarterly
as regularly as elOek-work Later en-
there viii be more particulars, Juf you
have my scheme and can begin 10 Pet
ready for the position you are 10 Ell
Salary $1,000 year-t-e-n thousand, and
quarterly dividends never less than %
per cent That's all this evening. ana
don't thank NEEDN'T do It. snoui3 NOT
have been Maj. crofoot If had no. taken
you in.
Major. ! insist"
And goodnight TO you-goli -night If's
a sudden surprise but lon't lcs 4. Unset
you. II you are out Tomorrow n ortI.r
coal and diamonds and horses yoa rrst~h,
price few residences Get the Iovse n
cash figures, and be careful that the
is eminentiy respectabIe
Exactly-I understand-not a word good
night."