Mesa free press., 1899-10-13
hA}Hla|||;la5EF.'l
- ~
~OO~~~~%

aunce at your lessons, Tommy? Tom.
MY expect it's neutrality-suspicious.
Traveller.
He-So you give me the mitten? She
Yes. He-And this is all? She-l
might throw in n few moth balls
Chicago Record.
Tommy-Paw, why amt prophet
honored in his own country? Paw
Because people grow so tired of hear
Ing him say, II told you so."-Puck.
She-He says he loves me; yet he has
only known me two days. Her Friend
Well, perhaps that's the reason,
dear.-Philadelphia North American.
what Is his name?' That's a Sc
cret." "a secret? What do you mean?'
Hes Russian, and no one can pro-
nounce 1t but himself. Town Topics
"Mrs. Jorkens, l saw you going into
Mrs. Brash's house to-day" ''Yes; but
have no acquaintance with her at all;
[ just use her telephone" Chicago
Record.
"Did you know our horse baked yes.
terday?" Gracious! What did you
do" "Hitched an automobile to him
and dragged him home. Indianapolis
Journal.
"Was that sleight-of-hand mans ex-
hihition successful Mudge?" Il think
SO. l lent him a counterfeit half-crown
and he gave me back a good one."-
Tid-Bits.
"How happy the Dabney-Joneses
look this evening. 1t must be their
wedding anniversary" mo; they've
got their old cook back. detroit
Free Press.
"What is your definition of the word
'fadT" !" "a fad," said Miss Cayenne
candidly, sis something which some
body else enjoys and don't. t."-Wash-
ington Star.
"How gray your hairs getting, dear!
1t used to be such pretty black" ;"
"Yes, dear; and how red yours has
got! 1t used to be such pretty black
too!'-Punch.
Mr.. Penn-One physician says that
the tramp instinct is disease. Mr.
Pitt-Does he recommend a change Of
scene as the remedy ?-PittSburg
Chronicle-Telegraph.
Little Clarence-Pa, money talks
don't it? Mr.. Callipers-I guess so, my
son. Little Clarence-We,l, then, pa
gimme penny, SOS l can hear it whis
npr to mo LITTLE Punch
Bramble-So Jim Slopay is dead
Well, we must all pay the debt of ma
ture some time or other. Thorne-
That's true. Slopay would have
lodged it if any one could.
"That hammock has a hoodoo his
tory" "What Is itY" 1T has been
through six seasons a the seaside with
the Upjohn family, and not one of the
girls is married Chicago Trib-
une.
"She scorned all her wooers so long
that now she Is doomed to be an old
maid for the rest of her life." We'll
that seems like a just sentence for
such contempt of court. t."-Philadelphia
Bulletin.
Parent-Don't you know that the
great King Solomon said, "Spare the
rod and spoil the child?" Bobby
Yes, but he didn't say that until he
was growed up.-New York Evening
Telegram.
Mrs. Stubb-I believe this is a bad
quarter, John. Mr.. Stubb-Think So
Maria? Well, then, guess we'd bet
ter drop it in the church box. Perhaps
good company may reform it.-Chica
go Daily News.
A young hopeful sat in the window
long time the other night during q
thunder storm and contemplated the
scene with a wise look on his face
Then he turned and said: "The an
gels are scratching matches on the
Words.
The Suburbanite's Limit.-Mrs. Her
mitage (on the evening train) Il Won
der why the city department stores
won't deliver an order Of goods free in
the suburbs unless 1t exceeds $5 worth ::
Mrs. Isolate (ditto)-Well, they know
that a suburbanite can easily carry $5
wOrth.-Puck.
"Theres no use talking" said the
man who sat on the piazza looking
over his hotel bill, Grip Van Wrinkle
failed to appreciate his luck" Luck"
eyes. Fancy a mans being allowed
to stay twenty years in the mountains
without it's costing him a cent?
Washington Star.
81 guess I'll go to Washington" said
Meandering Mike. what fur? "Oh,
jes' to show myself and make things
cheerful. l reckon mebbe the folks
that examine applications for employ
ment in the census would be kind O.
happy to see somebody that wouldn't
have work even If he could get it,
Washington Star.
Old Foozle-So, my son, you have
laid aside your studies and are about
to enter upon the active duties of life!
Young Foozle-Yes, dad; but since
,o+ NV choopskin and have had timo