davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07
MEXICO! MEXICO!
FREE SILVER COUNTRY ROLL
ING IN RICHES.
American Capitalists Go There In Pur-
suit OF That dishonest Fifty-Cent
Dollar"-Some Conundrums Made Plain
for the People.

It ought to be plain that II Mexi-
can dollar is only worth half as much
as an American dollar it will only take
half as much of labor or produce to
get the Mexican dollar. II Mexican
peon is working for $3.50 day in the
silver money of his country, the adop-
ton Of the gold standard there would
reduce his pay to seventy-five cenA
Would that improve his condition any?
If so, how? So far from being bene-
fit to him it would be most grievous
injury. 1t is true thai other things
might fall in price also. and thus en-
able him to keep even," but If he Just
keeps even" how does the gold stand
ard improve his condition? The gold
tie cannot defend his pet system by
simply showing that man can keep
even" under it, for the claim Is that
the gold standard is the best, and he Is
bound to prove it, Nor can he do SO
by showing that American working
men are, as rule, better off than the
Mexican, because the former has many
advantages over the latter entirely
separate and apart from any difference
in the monetary system. He must
show how the adoption of the gold
standard by Mexico would improve the
condition of labor there. He cannot do
it. The most he can do is to show that
the Mexican would lose nothing, be-
cause fifty cents in gold would not pay
as much debt or taxes or fixed charges
as would one dollar in silver, unless
they be called pro rata. This is con-
trary to goldite's religion. No mat
ter how much the dollar is increased In
exchange value, the creditor and the
tax-gatherer and the tax-eater must re-
ceive Just the same number OF dollars,
and to deny it is Reputation" But
this does not state the entire case.
The gold standard has carried long
train Of evils into every country adopt
ing it and has benefited none, so far as
the masses of the people are concerned.
There has been unceasing complaint
in every gold-standard country from
1873 right down to the present day.
No sooner did India take a step in that
direction in 1898 than the clouds be-
gan to gather upon her industrial hori-
zon, and the whole aspect of her bust
ness affairs was changed. The same is
true of Japan, and the same will be
true Of Mexico If she ever tries the
experiment. The silver standard in
creases her profits on exports. because
she sells for gold, and when she ex-
changes it for silver she gets two dol
lars for one. 1t stimulates her manu-
facturers, because when she buys in
gold-standard country she has to give
two dollars in silver for one in gold,
while the goods she desires have not
fallen SO much. Hence she builds fac
tories and prospers. Poor Mexico!
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07
A PREDICAM EMIT.

The plight in which the administra-
ton finds itself is embarrassing, If not
| distressing. Soldiers are sorely need
ed to carry out the policy of war and
subjugation in the Philippines. The
volunteers in the Philippines who en-
listed to fight against Spain and whose
| terms expired with the exchange Of
treaties with that country have been
detained and literally rushed into the
Jaws of death in an ill-considered cam
paign that has resulted in practically
disabling our army without accom-
plishing any permanent gain. The lib
eral bounty offered to these volunteers
to re enlist for further term has
been rejected by all but an inconsider-
able number, and they are about to be
returned to the United States. En-
listments to complete the quota of the
regular army have been so slow as to
cause apprehension regarding the re-
Spouse that would follow a call for fur
Their volunteers if such call should be
made. s.
There is to be a state election in
Ohio this year, which, if it should re-
suit unfavorably to the Republican
party, would be a severe blow to the
administration, and might have
whitening effect upon Mr.. McKinley's
chances for a denomination. A call
for volunteers before the Ohio election,
therefore, might prove to be bad poll
tics. 1t might demonstrate that the
country does not approve of the presi
dents policy in the Philippines, and
Algerism, Eaganism, and the contempt
for the testimony of our soldiers be-
fore the beef court, would be sure to
be made manifest in the dis!nclination
of the youth of the country to offer
their services as soldiers.
If 1t should be demonstrated that tho
comparatively small number Of SOL
diers required could only be obtained
through the means of a draft, the eff
feet would be to eliminate Mr.. Nc
Kinley from the list of presidenta al
possibilities. Therefore there is 10
probability of a call for volunteers TN
til after the Ohio elections. if there is
any possible way Of bridging over the
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

The plans for the reception of Ad-
miral Dewey on his return home al
ready promise a severe test Of his en-
durance. He is represented as dread
ing the ordeal. Hospitality ought to
exhibit it's merciful side. Welcoming
speakers might be given leave to print
their remarks. A misunderstanding
league ought to be formed forthwith.
The hero has earned the right to see
his native land without paying the
penalty of fatiguing experiences. But
what tribute to him is the fact that
precautions need to be taken lest his
countrymen overwhelm him with ex-
pressions of affectionate admiration!
Public men are not often interested in
plans for the suppression of applause,
or solicitous because the people seem
too glad to gaze upon them!
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

Polands rehabilitation as a nation,
the plan now suggested by an able
Russian general, would be an act of
justice so colossal that the world in
lifting its hat to the white car would
forget that cold hard reasons lay be-
hind it all Russia, with Poland in
torposed between the Muscovite from
tiers and the borders OF Austria and
Prussia, could withdraw her enormous
garrisons and could turn all these
myriads of soldiers unchecked on east
ern Asia, while Germany could like
wise so concentrate her troops as to
effectually overawe the ever-chafing
and revengeful France. The Poles, a
strong and able people, would govern
themselves with wisdom, and Nicholas
of Russia could carry to the grave the
memory and consciousness of an act
as great and noble as that of his father,
the liberator of the serfs.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

France followed the English consti-
tuition rather than the American in
regard to its premiers and cabinet; but
l. a Belle France gets more amusement
and more interesting conversation at
the cafes and on the boulevards out of
a cabinet in a week than England does
in a month. A cabinet crisis seems,
in fact, to be peculiarly pleasant and
stimulating to Frenchmen, who are
never quite so sure that life is worth
the living as when hanging on the edge
-. crisis at the Elysee.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07
PATENTS.

Higdon, Fisher and Thorpe (Rcgis-
tration No. 2O37), Patent Lawyers, Dia-
mond Building, Junction Main and Dell
aware Sts., Kansas City, Mo-, report
the following list Of patents for the
week ending June ~, 1899, toinvent-
Drs living in Missouri, Kansa, AMI Ne
braska Tel 1912.
MISSOURI
Edward P. Becker, st. Louis; fire.
mans ladder
j. II. Brookman and c. S. Blackmar,
New Franklin; nut lock.
Albert Brouls, House Springs; COM
bined roller and pulverzer
Harry " Estill, Moberly; meter-box
and meter connection herewith
Al. II. Heron, st. Louis; can
opener.
Louis j. Klein, Bairdstown; auto
matte wagon-trake.
NJ ii. Littell, st. Louis; blower.
William Long, jr., New Franklin;
nut-lock.
H. j. Mark, St. Louis; corrugated
wood veneer.
d. H. Moore, St. Louis; telephone
writing.desk.
A. f. Nathan, Kansas City; appara-
tus for marking and smoking meat.
E. c. Sooy, Kansas City; baling-press.
H. w. Wichman, st. Louis; wash
ing machine.
II. w. Wichman and A. Fl. Heron,
St. Louis; washing machine.
j. Zellweger, St. Louis; roasting
kiln.
L. P. Baitinger and T. H. Berkeley,
St. Louis; hinge-member. Design.
u,n1I,, Mate. fapna-pnst Oa-
sign. ~
c. II. Tucker, St. Louis; lead-pencil
Design.
o. G. Alspaugh, Newton; passenger
register.
W. j. Dawson, Linwood; potatoe-
digger.
Samuel Citizens, Randall; device for
use in poultry culture.
T. R Godbey, GAINESVILLE; check
row corn-planter.
L. R. Mead, Fort Scott; baling-
| press.
John Roden berger. Friendship;
| grain-drill.
Carl v. Shultz, Ottawa; button-.ol
cutter.
b. C. Smith, Kansas City; cultiva-
tors.
NEBRASKA
Henry E. Koch, harrington; bridge.
George A. Marsh, Ong; pillow.
George R. Sherwood, Kearney; ma
chine for pithing stalks
George F. Uebel, Harlan county;
ruuning.gear.
Issue of June 81, 1890
Designs ................... Sc
Trade Marks. .............. 60
Labels. 10
Reissues ................... .......'
Total issue. NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. .633
Acopy Of any patent in the above list
will be furnished on application for Is
cents
Send for price list and catalogue fres
plaa CO mautiOn this nanar
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07
Issue of June 81, 1899.
THE HOME FORUM BENEFIT
ORDER.
New Laws Adopted-Grand Lodge ses.
sion at st. Louis.

New Laws Adopted-Grand Lodge SEES.
sion at st. Louis.
The Home Forum Benefit Order of Chi
cago, Illinois, has just held its Biennial
Session at st. Louis, Mo-, delegates being
present from twenty-five states and terri.
tories. The order reported an increase OF
over 10000 in the past Biennial period in
growth of membership. Some changes
were made in the bylaws Of the Order pro
viding for more general representation in
electing officers of the Grand Forum. They
provided for increase in assessment rates
which has proven very popular in the or.
ganization in order they might accumulate
reserve fund for protection of their policy
holders in the future. These assessment
rates have received the Enforcement of In.
surance Commissioners. The action of the
Grand Body was very harmonious, the en-
tire laws being passed unanimously. The
fciaries and the growth of the order extend
ed into new fields and increasing steadily
in the older states where the order has been
established for the past seven years.
The officers elected to the Grand Lodge al
ST. Louis were as follows: DR.. p. L. Nc
Kinnie, Chicago ILL.,, Grand President; Rev
G. e. Thomas, Sturgis, Mich, LIST Grand
I'd Grand Vice-President; Frank Clendenin,
Joliet ILL.,, Grand Secretary S. ]. Caswell
Rockford, ILL.,, Grand Treasurer; S. w.
Heath, Brooklyn, Iowa, Grand Orator. r.
s. Ware, Chicago, ILL.,, Grand Assistant Ora
tor; A. B. Harriott, Grand Island, Neb.,
Grand Historian; A. E. Shuafer, Atlanta,
Ga, Grand Guard: P. Meerscheidt, San
Antonio, Tex, Grand Assistant Guard
Rev. W. G. Lacy, Heyworth, H., Grand
Chaplain: ]. w. Morgan, Moline, ILL.,, Grand
Medical Examiner; Jas. j. Healy, VIM.
Brockman, NJ. L. Gebhart Auditing Com.
mittee.
Since the adjournment of the Grand
Lodge, May 5th, up to June 23d, over 2,0N
new applications have been written on the
increased assessment rates. The new Ger.
tificate also provides under the new law fof>
an old age disability benefit at 20 years,
and other improvements on the advanced
lines of fraternal insurance.
The main offices of the Order are located
at No. Sc Fifth Avenue, Chicago, Illinois,
DR.. P. l.. McKinnie, President; Franz
Clendenin, Secretary.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

YES" said the ford lady, II made
my will several years ago, and 1t was
one of the wisest things l ever did,"
"Why?" the meek-looking woman
asked. do you expect to drop off
suddenly"
mo, but it's such satisfaction to
go and change it whenever I get mad at
any of my heirs. "-Chicago Times
Herald.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07
Up.to-Date Nursery Rhyme

Up-to-Date Nursery Rhyme
Hush-a-by, baby, and leave all to me;
That you're well married, mamma will
see.
Sleep then in peace, for my baby girl
Shall some day wed lord. duke OF
earl.
Rare pearls and diamonds for bosom
and ear,
An income from papa OF million a
year;
All these shall be yours, without a
doubt,
So slumber in peace while mamma
looks out.
Chicago Daily News.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

A Chicago man who wanted money
went to Boston for it, reached for It
and acquired it, making $4,000 clear
profit in seven seconds working time.
The fact that he got it by grabbing
it from the teller's window of bank
and that he was caught half day
later and will serve several years for
a few hours possession Of the money
does not detract from the fact that
this mans way of gaining wealth dis
counted the methods of all the Wall
street financiers for speed and limit of
capital involved,
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07
If We But Could.

II we could thrash our own trusts as
easily as we did Spain, and if we could
slaughter our monopolies as we do
Filipinos, we would prove ourselves a
power" worth Dragging about!-Farm.
Stock and Home.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07
Now She Is Mrs.

Mr.. Singleton-Miss Willing-er-
-Nellie-you don't care if l drop the
Miss and call you Nellie, do you?
Miss Willing-No, indeed! Why,
only yesterday I remarked to mamma
that I was getting awfully tired Of
being called Miss"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

The Chicago river was officially in
spected again last week. When not
deciding which way it would prefer TO
flow for change, the river manages
to put in the time pleasantly invent
ing new surprises and odors for the
benefit of adventurous explorers.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

Mrs. Younghusband-You never real
ly know man until you are married
to him.
Mrs. Muchwed-You don't then; you
never really know a man until you are
divorced from him and your friends
,ome round and tell you lots Of things
ou never even suspected.-Leslie's
Weekly.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

From the Minneapolis Tribune: If
the United States senate does decide
that Quay is entitled to his seat by
gubernatorial appointment, 1t will tend
to hasten the day of the election of sen
ators by direct vote. Otherwise legisla
tive deadlocks at the instance of q
state machine will be the rule instead
of the exception.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07
Tell Us Why.

We see the fielder on the plot
Catch every whizzing ball;
High ball, low ball. grounder, hot,
He'll catch 'em one and all.
But then it's strange, we do declare,
This self-same catching star,
Will chase himself full half a square
And fail to catch car.
Chicago News
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07
He Knew.

freddie, do you know what the
Bible says about a lie?" asked his
mother with feigned severity.
"Yeth, ma am" lisped Freddie, "a lie
is an abomination unto the Lord and
a very refuge in time of trouble
Kansas City Star.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

The courts should show considerable
liberality to those persons who apply
to have their names changed. Some
parents are very cruel in naming the
babies.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

The German reichstag is also get
ting ready to hand over the neat sum
of 100000 marks to Spain. AS a
real estate broker Spain has had 4
good run of business lately.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

Gen. Fred D. Grant has arrived at
Manila. For the first time since the war
began he is in a position to demon
strate whether or not he is "a chip Of
the old block"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

Doubtless the Costa Ricans are aware
of the fact that by licking Nicaragua
they would stand chance of acquir-
ing a fine canal site.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07
Exchange of Courtesies.

Prison Warden Ito prisoner on hM
discharge)-Andn now hope that you'll
lead a respectable life and become a
useful member of society.
Discharged Convict-Thank you, sir;
I wish the same to you!-Unsere &C.
sellschaft.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

The overproduction Of Cuban colon
els is by no means strange. The same
thing has happened in Georgia and
Kentucky.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07
Has Had Hard Usage.

Smith-Your wife has a fine voice.
Jones-Yes; one of the best In the
world. Otherwise it would hare been
worn out several years ago.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

things as they are sometimes drives
her husband to seeing things double.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

Little girls have to be introduced to
each other; but all small boys are ac-
quainted.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
SOME GOOD JOKES ORIGINAL
AND SELECTED.

A Variety of Jokes, Gibes and yrOnics
Original and Selected-Fl0tsam aud
Jetsam from the Tide of HuAsr-
Witty Sayings.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

Ambition is feeling that you want
to do something that you know you
can't
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

A little flattery tastes sweet to a
wise man and a good deal of it tastes
sweet to a fool
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

A dog kennel should be bui.. of wood
with the bark on and lighted by bay
window.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

The only thing that gives weight to
q fish story is the scales
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

The first postoffice was opened in
Paris in 1912. in England in 1851, in
America In ITO.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

Our pride looks suspiciously like the
vanity of other people.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07
AGlTATOR. GARRETT. KANSAS.

oppressor, and it will make no differ
ence how many unjust laws may be
previously passed.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

BY throwing a thin man out Of the
window he would come down plump.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

Troubles and cyclones cause lots OF
worry, but they soon blow over.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

Civilization enables some men to
realize the fact that they are savages.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07
difficulties in the Philippines until that

except those who live on the spoils OF
Office. His conduct in regard to the
beef investigation, the retention Of AL
ger in the cabinet, the furloughing OF
Eagan on full pay, his subserviency to
Corbin, and his refusal to call congress
to deal with the Philippines, does not
meet with the approval of the Ameri-
can people.
There is a way cut of the difficulty,
however, which II adopted now will
relieve the situation so far as the Phil
ippines are concerned and go a long
way toward restoring to the president
his lost prestige with the people, which
Is to proclaim to the Filipinos that
they shall be given their independence
so far as relates to the domestic gov
eminent of the archipelago and that
the United States will reserve only a
naval station and maintain a protec-
torate over the islands, or an an
nouncement by the president OF the
Filipinos their independence, promis-
ing to secure a concert of the powers
and make the archipelago neutral ter
ritory, the same as Belgium is now in
Europe. A proclamation embodying
either Of the foregoing will bring the
Philippine war to an end Immediately
and dispense with the further need OF
soldiers.
Such action on the part OF the adj
ministration would comport with the
dignity of the United States, accord
with its traditions and meet a hearty
response from all of our people except
the privileged classes who have out
grown any desire for the perpetuation
of a popular form Of government and
can only see in militarism the means
Of perpetuating their reign of plumber.
It is unpleasant to realize the pos
sibility of an American administration
getting into the predicament in which
ours is found today, but there is some
compensation in the assurance 1t fur
nishes that the people are yet superior
to any administration. 1t emphasizes
the wisdom of the fathers In making
the tenure of Office of short duration,
thus causing return Of all power
back into the hands Of the people az
ter a brief period, the duration OF
which is not sufficiently long to en-
able an administration to successfully
pervert the objects and purposes OF
government.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07
She Always Has 1t.

Willie-Say, pa, is every word in the
dictionary"
Pa-No, guess not, my son. Every
little while new one comes into USE
Willie-What's the last word, then,
pa?
Pal don't know. Go ask your
mother
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

The sexton makes a grave mistake
when he digs it in the wrong lot.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

"Why, Fritz, what has made you.
cheek swell up so?"
Teacher cuffed mel"
But you look as if you were actually
pleased over It,"
20, teacher sprained his wrist doing
it, and had to dismiss the school!"--
Unsere Gesellschaft.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

The abuse of health is q slow
method of suicide.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07

1t is far bette TO fail in good
cause than is fail in bad cause.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1899-07-07
Shirt BOsOms

Sh1rt BOSOhS
Should always be dried before starching
Apply "Faultless Starch" freely to boti
sides, roll up tight with bosom inside and
lay aside twenty minutes before ironing
All grocers sell 'Faultless Starch" loo.
The Daily Texarkanian., 1899-04-05
to get out of towA.

We have asked several of our
leading ministers if they were the
author of the letter published in
the Courier several days ago, advo-
eating lynch law and shot gun
policy if such conditions should pre-
vail as cited in the letter, They
replied: eve never hand in for
publication any document that we
are afraid to sign our name"
There has been, and is now many
guesses being made as to the
preacher who wrote the production.
We would like to know who the
freak really is, that wrote so reck-
lessly without informing himself on
the subject before he started out,
AS the Courier said, the note sent
along with the letter stated, "If
you are not afraid, you can publish
this" Now, that the Courier has
shown its bristles in the pnblica-
tion, and the preacher showed he
was not afraid by writing it, now
let us all know the preachers name
The Daily Texarkanian., 1899-04-05

Henry Hannigan, Texarkana
boy, who enlisted in the U. s.
regular army four or five years ago,
and who had worked himself up to
nou-commissioned officer, and re-
signed and was appointed captain
of a volunteer company gotten up
here and elsewhere, has been APP
pointed second lieutenant in the
regular army. They say all things
come to those who wait, and Lieu
tenant Hannigan is no exception to
the rule. He has waited and in
waiting applied himself to army
tactics and was worthy of the pro-
motion he received, May he get
to be a major general, is our wish.
The Daily Texarkanian., 1899-04-05

Now that the election is over on
the West Side, the fighting par
son" can lay aside his shot gun and
halter and rest easy for a time We
are really glad that the conditions
of the elections were such as to not
cause him to call out his 200 armed
crusaders and make the streets Of
our city run with blood. If we
knew who this minister" was, we
would recommend him for a chap
laincy in the army in the Philip
pines. He could look upon the slain
and wounded with composure, while
he preached the gospel to the boy
in the rifle pits,