Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1899-10-19
tWrittea for ne Beacoa.)
MRS. BlGBEE'S TRIBULATIONS

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mrs. BlGBEE'S TRIBULATIONS
Mebby, Uncle Ned, You never
heard of Finnigan's goat. If ever
you've been out to Carr's Cross
Roads you must have heard the |
critter mentioned; but if you've
never bin this way, why mebby You
don't know about her. She be-
longs to Mrs. Finnigan, Is Of a fe-
male sex. and they keep her to give
milk for the Finnigan twins. Be.
fOrv ut rrrrrs
stand that she amt gdat to be
sneezed at.
A spell ago Sarah Jane, khe got
her Young man. She's been try
ing to fix one so he'd stay lsPatp
for quite awhile-one that would
take her to parties and pay for ice.
cream and sody. She haint seemed
to have much luck that way until
she went to visit her Aunt Pitman
in Boston, and there she got ac-
quainted with Mr.. Clarence Eustis
Fitz-Jenkins. Land sake When
was a girl | never had to look
twice at Teller. had all the
the beaux could attend when | |
agreed to take Abram Bigbee for
better or worser. There were three
strings to my bow at that very iden-
tical time, and some times I've
thought that | took the very weak
est one of them all. But law, YOU
can't begin to see ahead of you as
you can behint you. If my behint
sight had been as good as my be-
front sight, mean to say, that If
my befront sight hadn't been no
better than my behint sight-good
gracious I'm all tangled up in my
nterlects today. What ] want to
iay is that II | could have looked
INTO the future as well as can look
INTO the past,{ mebby ! shouldn't
rave took Abrah BiehaA
i vorser I'LL me 0uIi
'0uid hsv als~ss
Sarah Jane was awful lsekled 10
hink that she'd got young man :
t last, and she wanted to invite
i'm right out to spend a few days !,
t our farm. He's a skyropodist
y trade. A skyropodist. as mebby
GU know, takes out corns and cuts
our toe-nails for you at twenty .
We cents apiece, and warrants not
o hurt you, and after week or !,
wo them things that he took out !,
ill come back again jest as pert
nd good as new, aud then he'll
AXE them out again on the same
erms. It's sertain sure way to
make living, Mary Jane says, be-
ause you are always sure of crop .
'ithout regard to weather. Abram ,
nd j, we consented to have him :.
ONE to our house, and Sarah Jane !,
be used up all the eggs that Abrams
ull pedigreed hens laid in three
'eeks amaking cake for him. She
urned the house all upside down !,
nd hind part afore, and trimmed
II creation with evergreen and
parrer grass and spruce boughs.
guess you never seed such fuss !,
lade over one corn doctor afore.
l had to put on my black ally :
acker frock and Abram he put on I
is new six dollar suit, marked down :
rom twenty-five dollars, and war
anted yard vide, all wool, and fast
ye, and custom made. lie hated :
wfully to do it, for Abram had J
bout as live die as git off his old q
lothes, but | told him he could :.
urn up his panterloons when he !.
lilked, and put some old stocking !.
,gs on over his shoes, and one OF
~ bingham aprons to keep the :.
ront of him clean. Beats every ,
hing how a man does hate to shift !
is clothes. Sarah Jane she walked
own to the depot to meet him. .
he wanted to take the old mare !,
nd the shay, but Abram said the
Id mare had showed some signs
itely Of having one Of them balky :,
pells Of hern and he was afraid she !,
night be took .and they wouldn't :
it back to the house in time for
upper. That are boss has some .
wful tantrums every time she's /.
,een harnessed ever since that are
fair NJ Cnipo0tta. and that makes