The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-01-26

at holiday time lost patience. or perhaps
ne was reminded by the photographer that
this deleW would entail an expenditure of
extra coi9pers. 'Urry up with the nipper
Maria! Ere's the bloke a-waitin' with the
chimaera"' Hymeneali Chimaera! Sure
~ 1t is rather curious that classical words
such as these should be known, however
indistinctly, to the lower classes.
Want of Sufficient courage TO rise TO an
important occasion is frequently a cause
of word plumbers, happy or otherwise,
while absentNminded fits are responsible
for many more, In a certain ancient bor-
ough the aldermen met one day at the
Mayors house with the object of present
ing a silver cradle to the Mayoress. who
had been blessSed with a son during her
husbands year of office. The alderman
who was 10 make the presentation was
rather nervous man-just the one, in
fact, who might be relied upon to say
something out Of the way. He succeeded in
doing so in his opening words I'VE have
met toge Their here" he began, ION this
suspicious occas lon" One of his con-
freres pulled him by the coat tails. He
looked around ard went on more Hurried
than ever: Il re peat, on this very suspi-
cious occasion" Here the laughter that
could be no longer restrained drowned his
utterance. Il was rather hard upon the
Mayoress, for he emphasized the very"
in so pronounced fashion; but the affair
ended, of course, quite pleasantly A
country parson found himself called upon
to make an after-dinner speech-for him
an almost unique experience. The assem-
bly, were well-nigh convulsed when, after
the preliminary clearing of his throat he
led Oft mildly with: My dear brethren"
He repeated the phrase several times
throughout his speech, and when he had
finished. sank back into his chair, perfect
ly oblivious of having done anything ''out
of order better instance of absence of
mind occslrred in the case of a gentleman
who had written most scholarly and cru
dite letter to one seeking for information
concludinsg with the words: Il have the
honor to be yours very respectively 1t
was, of course, mere pen Slip, but the
mistake lopked strangely out of place
after so mu ch that was clever and correct
The Appar or General, who received a
communicate ON addressed in most unmis-
taxable fashion to THE Apparition Cen
eral," must lave felt little fiattered.
maid happened to overhear her mis-
tress talking with her 15-year-old daugh-
ter. She could only catch a few discon-
nected scraps OF the conversation that was
| taking place, tut she gathered from the
| lips of her mistress some such phrase
as this: ITS only a matter of money,
| after ALL Just thinkr she announced
| later on, when she had Joined the ever
curious company below stairs, "Missus
was attacking 70 that child already about
matrimony" This gives us some idea how
| lying reports ana scandal originate and
| are circulated. Servants naturally listen
| to dining and drawing room conversation
| but unfortunately they cannot repeat what
| they hear, and their own version is a thing
altogether new and strange.
| A gentleman in a rural district drew
| down upon his head a storm of adverse
criticism by marrying a second wife short
! ly afber the demise of his first. Two If
those good ladies who look generally unon
the surface of things. and who are over
ready with condemnation, were discussine
] the disgraceful affair. "Why. nv daar
there's his poor wife hardly cold in her
grave, and he goes and marries another. /"
! "Dreadf ulH' declared the other; ''I never
heard of such a thing" Il should think
not, indeed went on number one angrilv
'Marrying wife after wife like that-whv
the mans regular polyglot!"