Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1899-02-09
POPULAR PROVERBS.
SOME THAT ARE FAIRLY BRlMFUL OF
ABSURDiTY.


There is mistaken notion abroad,
says writer in London Tit-Bits, that
proverbs are epitomes of wisdom, the
concentrated experience Of generations,
and that to quote one of them in dis
cussion Is to advance an unanswerable
argument. And yet what Is there to
recommend many of them beyond their
Jingle? Take our familiar friend:
EARLY to Bed and Early to Rise, Makes
q Man Healthy, Wealthy and Wise. ---
Obviously, the main idea was TO find n
word to rhyme with "rise, and "wise"
was the unfortunate word chosen. And
now trustful little boys are persuaded
TO go to bed ut unreasonably early hours
in the hope Of becoming sort Of San
dow Rothschild- though we
all know milkmen and market garden
ers who get up Mt 8 n. IN. and are nei-
ther rich nor clever, and members Of
parliament who go to bed late and are,
IL not clever, Mt least not poor and in
firm. Since the invention of gas and
electric light this ridiculous old proyerb
uitB OubllfGi lbb oiiBihuI iiouiNhbi VI
truth and proves we must not venerate
proverbs on account Of their hoary an
tiquity.
The EARLY Bird Catches the Worm, 49,
The mistake made here is that 1t assumes
we are all birds. But some OF us are
worms IL we were not, what would
become of tho birds2 And therefore,
while tho birds do we'll to DO early, let
the worms be lato-the later the better.
The Pitcher That Goes Oft to tho Well
IL Broken Mt Last. Note, 1t does not say
sis broken first" but sis broken at
last. !" OF course, every pitcher, wheth-
or IL goes to tho well or stays on tho
shelf, is broken at last, and the only re-
suit of this absurd proverb IL to cncour-
age lazy folk to do ns little work as pos
siblo and unnecessarily keep out OF
harms way.
If You Want Thing Well Done, Do
1t Yourself. There's shocking bnd nd
vice with which to start n youth on
lifo's journey. IL ho wants II button
well sewed on, hos to do it himself; IL
he wants his hnir well cut. he's to cut
it himself He must mend his own
chairs, shoe his own nag, darn his own
socks In short from buying horse to
backing his boots, he must do ii him
self Poor fellow
A Contented Mind liz Continual
Feast Can any ono say what that
means2 Does it mean that the owner
continually feasts on his contonted mind
or TINT the contented mind Is contin-
ually feasting2 Probably tho latter, rs
wo sometimes hear that IN hungry
man nm angry man, " and we all know
that satisfied appetite ia tho source OF
contentment. Hence it Is not the con-
tented mind which makes the foast rs
the silly provorb implies, but tho con-
tinual feast which produces tho con-
tented mind.
There's No Rule Without nm ExCep-
tion. This IL not only II proverb; 1t Is
also rule. But obviously there Is no
exception to this rulo, because IL there
were u rule with IN exception this
probcrb would bo untrue. But tho prov
erb is n rulo which has no exception,
which, m Mr.. Euclid would say, il ab-
surd Which was to DO shown.
Where Ignorance IL Bliss. IT'S Folly
to BE Wise. For oracular stupidity
this proverb may DO classed with tho
ono about tho pitcher Granting 1t true,
the difficulty IL to know where igno-
rance IL bliss and Of course tho prov
.rb wi tutn Hxl,h Ia
most needed. Most people quote it as
IGNORANCE il bliss, in their blissful
ignorance, but If IL proverb gives rise
to error 1t IL not only absurd; 1t Ii also
dangerous. When people say
A Little Learning IL - Dangerous
Thing They mako that u reason not
FOR learning more, but for learning less
Love Me, Love My Dog. If go
Accounting, and my ladylove bids me love
her scented, dyspeptic poodle, which is
not necessary to her health md comfort
must not much moro love her glass
eye and false teeth and hair, which are
Yet common sense revolts Mt the notion,
and therefore assume that n proverb
which, logically treated. makes such
unreasonable demands on my affections
Is wrong and absurd
, Seeing Is Believing, How can any ro-
aecting person repeat these wordsS For
very often we believe we see what real
ly we do not If u conjurer were to take
this proverb as his motto. every one
would seo its absurdity A straight
stick half submerged in water looks
crooked Fortunately, another proverb
says, Trust not to appearances, " And
this bring us to the exquisite absurdity
of popular proverbs which run in con-
Trajectory pairs and support both sides
Of an argument. Thus one provcrb says,
"Look before you leap" another,
"Who hesitates Is lost. Sometimes wo
hear that "Second thoughts arc best !"
Mt other times that delays are danger
Gus. The desperate man relies on
Nothing venture, nothing havo;' the
cautious man on Never venture out of
your depth till You can swim. The
impatient matrimonial candidate be-
lieves that "Happy's the wooing that :
not long a-doing;' the tardy one that
one may MARRY in haste and repent al