The times., 1899-11-05
LIGHT LITERATURE.
\ FabIe by Georgc Ade.

btfUiu lne lAlcagG hecCTo.)
Once there was blue Dyspeptic who at
tempted to XIII Time by reading Novels
until he discovered that all Books Of Fic-
ton were a Mockery.
After a prolonged Experience he came to
know that every Specimen Of Light Read
ing belonged TO one Of the following Divis-
ions:
/ The Book that Promises well until you
reach the Plot, ana then you remember
that you read it Summer before last.
?. The book with the Authors Picture
as q FTontispiece. The Author is very
Cocky. He has his Overcoat thrown back
SO as TO reveal the Silk Lining. That Set
ties 1t.
;. The Book that runs into a Snarl of
Dialect on the third Page and never gets
out
4. The delectabIe Yarn about Door
Mat Thief who truly loves the Opium
Fiend. Jolly Story of the Slums.
;. The Book that begins with a twenty
page Description Of sloppy Weather
Long swirls Of riven Rain beat somberly
! upon the misty Panes." etc, etc.
You turn TO the last Chapter TO see il It
Rains all the way through the Book This
last Chapter is Give Away. 1t condenses
the whole Plot and dishes up the ConcIu-
sion After that who would have the
Nerve 20 wade through the 240 intermedi-
ate Pages
g. The Book in which the Pictures tell
the Story. After you have seen the Pic
lures there is no need TO wrestle with the
| Text
= The Book that begins with Murder
Mystery charming Picture of Grey Hair
ed Man discovered Dead IN His Library
Blood Splashed all over the Furniture
Knife Of Curious Design lying on the
Floor.
You know at once thai the most Respect
ed and least Suspected Parsonage in the
Book committed the awful crime. but you
/ haven't the Heart TO Track him down and
compel him to commit Suicide.
s. The Book that gets away with one
Man asking another. BY, Jove who is
that Dazzling Beauty in the Box"
The Man who asks this Question has a
Name which sounds like the Title of a
Sleeping Car.
You feel instinctiyely that he is going
10 be all Mixed Up with that Girl in the
! Box before Chapter xii is reached, but who
can take any real Interest in the Love Al
fairs of Man with such a Name?
g. The Book that tells ali about Society
and how Tough il is. Even the Women
drink Brandy and Soda. smoke Cigarettes
and Gamble. The clever Man Of the World
( who says all the Killing Things is almost
Z a. -A4AAe - .AAts s&SEtA All iLdDtE ItI-
son, after reading nine Chapters OF this
kind of High Life. would be ready to go
! Home and throw his Grandmother into the
Fire
10 The duh grey Book or the Simple An
nails OF John Gardensass. A Careful Study
Of American Life.
In the first Chapter he walks along the
| Lane. Stepping first on one Foot and then
on the Other, enters q House by the Door
and sits in a four-legged wooden Chair,
| looking out through d Window with Glass
in IL. Book denotes careful Observation.
| Nothing happens until Page 150 Then
! John decides 10 sili the Cow In the Final
| Chapter he sits on a Fence and Whittles.
! True Story. bat What's the Use?
Why continue2 The Dyspeptic said that
when he wanted something really Fresh
and Original in the Line OF Fiction he
read the Prospectus Of a Mining Corpora
1 ton.
Moral: Only the more rugged Mortals
! should attempt 10 Keep Up on Current
| Literature.