davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23
LECTURES OF LONG AGO."

A number of amusing stories can be
culled from Kate Sanborn's quaint
book, my Favorite Lectures OF Long
Ago" Here are some of the witty
items selected at random from its at
tractive pages:
+! At supper party the conversation
turned on talking shop. Some one de-
clared that an actor or musician was
never happy unless allowed to talk
shop by the hour, and then 1t was
pointed out that doctors and barristers
were just as bad. A witty lady pres
ient laughingly added: Eyes; phil
iosophers talk Schopenhauer, ladies
shopping, tipplers schoppen. musicians
Chopin, and actors shop" Although
they make no pretensions to wit. there
is much genuine humor among the
women journalists of Boston. do
you live on the Back bay?" said lady
once to Miss Jenkins, whose home
then was on a narrow, little street up
town. Rather the small of the Back
back" she answered instantly. Dr.
Talmage's youngest daughter was fond
Of evening gayeties, and often slept
late in consequence. Coming down
about 9 o'clock one morning, she met
her parents stern gaze, and received
the very depressing greeting Of Good
morning. daughter Of SIM" Good
morning, father" was her response.
Sophie Arnould, fascinating young
actress, about 1744, was noted for her
wit. Benjamin Franklin said he no.
where found such pleasure and such
wit as in her company. What are
you thinking of" she asked Bernard
in one of his distracted moods. Il
was talking to myself" he replied. BE
careful" she said. you gossip with a
;natterer." Hearing Of the grace and
agility of pretty Scotch lassie, who
had danced the sword dance for some
of her officers, Queen Victoria COM
manded the same diversion for her
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

den to myself. Was troubled with
smothering spells. also palpitation of
the heart and that bcaring-tlown feel
ing. ard could rot be on my feet much.
Il was growing worse all the time,
until l took your medicine. -
After taking three BOXES of Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
Lozenges, the tumor passed from me.
my health has been better ever
since, can now walk quite distance
and am troubled no more with palpita-
ton of the heart or bloating. j rec
ommend your medicine to all sufferers
from female troubles"
, 1t is hardly reasonable to suppose
that any one can doubt the efficiency
of Mrs. Pinkham's methods and medi-
cine in the face of the tremendous VOL
ume of testimony.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23
IN CANADA'S FREEHOMEsTEAD
LANDS.

Wetaskiwin, Alta, April 5th, 1898.
w. F. McCreary, Govt immigration
Commissioner, Winnipeg. Dear SIR
l like the country very much so far:
have seen great number of farmers
from the states and every one seen
so far says they have done we'll and
like it here far better than where they
came from, and all claim it to be the
best country for poor man that they
were ever in, and with good crops this
season l predict great rush. There
are some nice claims to be had yet, but
will not last the summer through. l
do not find it any colder than in Iowa
and am feeling much better than when
/ left there March LIST. I think this a
great country for those who are suf-
fering with throat and lung troubles.
have seen men that had as high as
51h bushels wheat per acre and near
100 bushels oats. but they weigh from
IS to 81 pounds per bushel, but the
general run is Is to so wheat, so to
Is oats. and stock looking fine; some
cattle running out were nearly in mar
ket flesh. expect to return to the
states late this fall for stock, ETC.: will
write you when I want to 60. Thank.
ing you all for past farors, remain.
most respectfully yours,
(Signed) DR.. ID. E. Strevell.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

Hon. Thomas C. Fletcher, the noted
war Governor Of the State Of Missouri.
is a great friend of Pe-ru-na. He
writes:
The Pe-ru-na Drug Mfg Co., Column
bus, Ohio.
Gentlemen-For years I have been
afflicted with chronic catarrh, which
has gone through my whole system.
and no one knows the torture and
misery l have passed through. My
doctor has prescribed various RENE
dies, and have never found any relief
until 1 was persuaded by a friend to
use DR.. Hartman's Pe-ru-na. After the
use of one bottle l feel like a new
man. 1t also cured me Of a dropping
/ had in my throat, and built my sys-
tenn up generally. To those who are
suffering with catarrh I take pleasure
in recommending your great medicine.
Very respectfully.
Thomas c. Fletcher.
Everything that affects the welfare
Of the people is a legitimate subject
of comment to the real statesman.
The statesman is not a narrow man.
1t is the politician who is narrow. The
true statesman looks out on the world
as it is, and seeks, as far as is in his
power, to remedy evils and encourage
the good.
Catarrh in its various forms Is rap
idly becoming a ua.iLnal curse. An
undoubted remedy has been discov-
cred by DR.. Hartman. This remedy
has been thoroughly tested during the
past forty years. Prominent men have
come to know of its virtues, and are
making public utterances on the sub
ject. To save the country we must
save the people. To save the people
we must protect them from disease.
The disease that is at once the most
prevalent and stubborn of cure is ca
tarrh.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

Baltimore. Feb. 1S-The story sent
ont from Chicago that General Pas
senger Agent Austin of the Baltimore
and Ohio Railroad. had reported rate
cutting on the part Of rival lines. -
the Receivers. is strenuously denied at
B. & o. headquarters. Mr.. Austin. in
a letter. absolutely denies that any
such cases have come under his notice
and denounced the report as fake"
pure and simple.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23
Beware Of Ointments for Catarrh That

Beware Of Ointments for Catarrh That
Contain Mercury,
AS mercury will surely destroy the sense Of
smell and completely derange the whole system
when entering 1t through the mucous surfaces.
Such articles should never be used except on
prescriptions from reputable physicians. as the
damage they will do is tenfold to the good you
can possibly derive from them. Halls Catarrb
Cure. manufactured by F. j. Cheney s. Co.,
Toledo. O., contains no mercury. and is taken
internally. acting directly upon the blood and
mucous surfaces Of the system. In buying
Halls Catarrh Cure be sure you get the genuine
It is taken internally, and made in Toledo. Ohio
by +. ]. Cheney & Co. Testimonials free. Sold
by Druggists. price &c per bottle.
Halls Family Pills are the best
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

self and was equally entertained. At
the close OF the brilliant performance
the girl advanced and courtesied pro-
foundry. What can do for your"
asked her majesty. Give me the head
OF Gladstone" said the modern Hero
dias. Il would gladly do that, my
dear. but he lost it some years ago."
retorted the Queen.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

: For many years all the quinine OF
commerce came from the wild trees
OF Peru. but with the present great
demand the refined product obtained
from the wild trees Of its native hab-
itat would supply but q small propor.
ton OF the worlds requirements. Al
the present time two-thirds Of thu
quinine used is produced In Java. a
island Of the East Indian archipelaso
corresponding closely in she to Cub,
and having with Il many features a
ool and climate IN common.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

That's what this new corn cost. Yields
s13 bushels per acre. Big Four Oats go
and cattle at 25c per acre yields so tons:
potatoes $l.2O per Dbl. Bromus Inerms
the greatest grass on earth; Heardless
Barley 60 bushels per acre; 10 kinds
grasses and clovers, etc.
Send this notice to JOHN A. SALZER
SEED CO.. LA CROSSE. WIS. with 10c
stamps and receive free great Catalogue;
5000 Corn and 10 Farm Seed Sam
pies. [wn.1
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

The Farnham Home Sanitarium.
Lincoln. Neb. has made some miracu-
lous Cancer cures. DIR. Geo. o. w.
Fa-nham. at the head of the institu-
ton. has few equals in his line.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23
The trouble with the oore Il that he
never troubles himself.

No matter how much q man wants
he is compelled to put mp with the lit
tie he gets
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

You viii enjoy this publication much
better if you will get in the habit Of
reading the advertisements; they will
afford . most interesting study and
some excellent bargains. Our adver-
tisers are reliable, aud send what they
advertise.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23
CRESCENT HOTEL,
EUREKA SPRINGS. ARKANSAS.

Opens February 2Srd. In the Ozark Noun
tains. Delightful climate. Beautiful seen
cry Urequaled medicinal waters Cheap
excursion rates. Through sleepcrs via
Frisco Line Address ]. o. Plank. Man.
ager. Room H. Arcade, Century Building,
or Frisco Ticket Office, No. l02 n. Broad
wav ST. Louis.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

The praying heart makes the willing
hand.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

When a man does something mean
to you that you had thought of doing
to him it warps the golden rule.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

Persistent itching is . symptom Of
ny diseases OF the skin. but it may
o. be sign Of disorder Of some Of the
Deernal organs, more particularly. OF
- liver or kidneys. Sometimes, how
oSef, It occurs In persons who appear
= Be otherwise in perfect health. and
Who have no visible affection Of the
olk1n
Temporary itching is often caused by
the eating Of certain articles of food.
especially shell-fish; even fruits, such
.as Strawberries, are eaten by some I'M
fortunate individuals only at the ex-
pense Of a most annoying itching of tho
entire body for an hour or two.
A very common form of pruritus 10
caused by cold acting upon the skin.
and is called for this reason winter
it," 1t is felt chiefly on the insides
Of e legs and thighs, although it may
occur on the upper extremities. or even
over the entire body. 1t gives no trou-
bic In summer, or even in warm days
in winter, but in frosty, snappy wealth
er it is intense. Coarse undertaking
may aggravate it, but it occurs even
when the finest and smoothest silk is
worn. 1t is usually worse at night
when the sufferer is undressing, but
gets better as he warns up in the bed.
The treatment of itching varies with
the cause, but some form of external
application is almost always used,
whatever may be the underlying trou-
BILE. In case Of general itching m-|
relief is often afforded by an al } me
hath made by dissolving three or four
ounces of borax, or five or six ounces of
bicarbonate Of soda in thirty gallons Of
water.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23
an now ready to sound

-
its praises. 1t
has done won
ders for me in
relieving NE
OF n turor.
-" My health
has been poor
forthree years.
Change of life
was working
\ upon me 4
a was very
" much bloated
nj was n l,ur-
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

Some tailors give customers fits and
Others give them commissions
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23
TUMOR EXPELLED.
Unqualified Success OF Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.

Mrs. ELIZABETH WHEELock. Macno-
liza, Iowa. in the following letter de-
scribes her recovery from very cr;t-
cal condition:
dear Mrs PINKHAM:-I have been
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

Bad luck in small quantities makes
good fortune more palatable.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23
Our Policy ON Territorial Expansion

Annexatlonists are advocating the
addition of Canada to this country. and
think 1t can be accomplished in a
peaceful manner without exciting a
quarrel withrEngland. Such questions
call for the wisest craftsmanship. Just
as dyspepsia. constipation liver and
kidney diseases call for reliable rem
edy like Hostetter's Stomach Bitters.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

The train boy books more passen-
gers than the general passenger
agent
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

lois the black life that makes death
look dark.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

Every community has customs Of it.
own that would not be tolerated il
other communities
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

The height of knowledge is to know
what you do not know.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

There are two women in every mans
life: the one he married and the one he
thinks he hight have.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23
Read the Advertisements

Some silly people have the active as
sistance of lot of silly kin.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

One little trouble will make us for
get dozen things we ought to be
thankful for.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

A cat may have nine lives, but for.
tunately it has no biographies.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

6rst days of DR.. Kline Great Nerve Restorer
Send for FREE $500 tria, bottle and TREATISE
HR K ID. KLINE. Ltd. 93l Arch St. Philadelphia. Pa
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

You must fix up your own good adj
vice; SO much that others give you lie
not applicable in your case
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

Piso's Cure for Consumption has saved
me large doctor bills-C. L. Baker, ~
Regent So, Philadelphia. Pa, Dec. 8, 'Q@
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

A man loses his appetite for lot o.
things while waiting for them.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

An old maid is the only woman fit
to live with, and the reason is because
no man lives with her.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

When folly is pretty and we'll dress
ed it easily makes fool of wisdom.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

With the Filipinos naked, and armed
with bows and arrow, We should think
our troops would feel as if they were
fighting Cupids.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

Talebearers furnish the fuel for the
fire of strife
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

Help . man ont of trouble and he
will remember you when he gets in
trouble again.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

Here is a good memory test: Cal
you recall how it felt to be too warn
last summer?
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23
mrs. yvinxlow.s Soothing s,

When the hens stop laying, try ;
change of feed.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

Drink is noun that many men arr
unable to decline.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

They only who live for others are
alive to themselves.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

Law can only condemn; love car
save
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

Chi ldren are like jellies: as they are
moulded so they will turn out.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

The flower Of holiness blooms in
swamp as long as the sun kisses it
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23
I9uuvLLEKn. NV yopK.x,

Is variety which brings from to cents per
6uShel more than any other variety grown.
It is on the wheat fields of Western Canada
that such . grade is grown. and farm OF 100
acres is given free to everys bonafde set
tier. For particulars apply to the Depart
ment Of the Interior. Ottawa. Canada. or to
J: s Crawford, pa West Ninth St, Kansas
City Mo.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

Filling the church is q more common
aim than filing the congregation.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

A Kansas man has genuine courage
he married ON a salary of six dollars I
week.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

The fools advice may be poor, but il
II at least sincere.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

A capital idea for writer is to have
money enough in the bank to enable
him to write checks
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

A man is apt 70 have decided views
when his wife decides them for him.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

Light thoughts are often heav,
enough to drag men down.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

Health for Ten Cents.
Cascarets make bowels and kidneys act
naturally, destroy microbes, cure headache,
billiousness and constipation. All druggists.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23
TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY.

Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets Al
druggists refund the money if it fails to cure.
CSC. The genuine has L. B. Q. on each tablet.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

The poorer the piano player. the
louder she plays
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23
$1,000 for . New Corn.

Any man of sense would rather have
q woman respect than love him.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

For children tcethr softens :he gains reduces n'ar
alton. aays pain. win collie - cents bottle
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

Evil cannot harm good woman be
rause it dare not come near her.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

<he arguments Of the loquacious In
]f.yiduals ere mostly sound.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

After the honeymoon blushing il
only perfunctory.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23
Suggestions for Women a. to the Care
OF Dainty Underwear.

1t is one thing to have pretty belong.
ingS. and another to keep them so. Or
nothing can this be more truly said than
ruined in was Ig with strong. impure
SOAP and by hard rubbing. Silk and
wooden underwear should never be washed
on cloudy day. When ready to do the
work half fill a tub with warm water.
in which dissolve fourth of a bar OF
Ivory soap. and wash the articles
through it with the hands. rinse in warm
water and squeeze. but do not wiring.
Hang on the line and press with hot
iron while damp.
ELIZA r. PARKER.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

Fine feathers do not make fine birds
for potpie.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

Turkeys, to be most profitable, must
have a good range.
The Globe-republican., 1899-02-23

and was q bur-
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-12-01
Unchecked Brutality.

1t is very different, the treatment Of
domestic animals in Paris. There, if
you live in hotel on one of the mar
row streets Of the Latin quarter, you
will be kept awake all night long by
the never ending cracking Of the whips
and the whitening cuts as they are laid
hard and singing over the backs Of the
limping, half starved horses that draw
the voitures and fiacres.
If q cab horse stumbles and falls to
his knees in Paris. the driver does not
run to the nearest apothecary's for 25
confines worth of liniment to battle
the scratched knees. as the London
cabby does for tuppence worth. He
simply gets down from his seat and,
taking the butt end of his whip, beats
the horse over the head until he clam
bers to his feet: then. after administer
ing a couple of kicks from No. Is
hobnailed boot, be mounts his box and
drives along.
The tram horses are constantly bella
bored with a whip and sworn at in the
argot of Paris, and the result, strange
as it may seem, is that 1t takes you
longer to go mile in a facre in Paris
with the horses being whipped all the
time than it does the same distance in
London when not once during the drive
will the animal feel the touch Of the
lash.-DetrOit Free Press.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-12-01
UnapprecfateL.

The teacher of a district school in
Maine tells a story that reminds me Of
Mary and her little lamb, only it is Of
Joe and his little dog.
Joe was boy about years old and
was devoted to a small, lank puppy.
Out of school hours boy and dog were
inseparable, and Joe apparently could
not reconcile himself to the necessity
of leaving the dog at home. For sew
eral mornings the teacher allowed the
puppy to remain at Joe's feet under
the desk.
Then there came a day when the
small dog could not be kept quiet, but
frisked about, to the delight of the
school and the dismay of the teacher.
"Joe," she said firmly, you must
take that dog out"
Joe looked at her mournfully, but
picked up the pup and, with it's head
against his cheek. started for the door.
The boys feelings were evidently hurt,
but he said nothing until he reached
the door; then, giving his teacher re-
proachful look, with plying glance
toward his dog, he said slowly, "And
he's named for you'll" "'-
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-12-01
His Little Contribution.

One Of the many stories told Of the
late DR.. Wallace, M. P. is to the effect
that when the editor of local paper
in the north asked him "if he would
kindly furnish an article on a light
theological topic" Wallace responded
with one bearing the title 1.-The Rela-
lions Between the Presbyterian Church
and Modern Thought" When set up
the article made 40 columns, and it be-
came puzzle to editor and printer
how to get rid Of it. They began by
using it in pieces. and whenever the
printer said to the editor. We've got
no leader the reply was, 'Eh. mon,
just sneck off about a column and a
quarter O Wallace" In this way the
contribution was used, first working
down from the beginning. then up
ward from the end.-London Academy.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-12-01
How to Kill Them.

Although every hcusekeeper may not
be member of band of mercy Or hu-
name society, she can help on the good
work if she will practice some OF the
society's rules. For example, let her
bear in mind that crabs to be properly
killed should before boiling be thrust
through the mouth and body with a
sharp steel at one blow.
When a lobster is required, insert a
narrow bladed knife into the third joint
of the tail, severing the spinal cord.
This will cause instant death and is
much less cruel than to put it into the
water alive. especially if it is not boil
ing, as the lobster then suffers slow.
lingering death.
Terrapin also should be mercifully
killed before being cooked.
The eel tribe is said to be terrible
sufferer from mans inhumanity to fish.
So difficult is it apparently to kill cells
that people have even ceased to try to
kill them at all. If their heads were cut
off before they were otherwise handled,
they would at once be out of miserv--
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-12-01
King Solomon an Egotist.

And yet this king (Solomon) with his
magnifcence and unrivaled power, this
shrewd judge, this skillfui statesman,
this scholar with his wide culture, be-
came a pessimist. and stands forth one
Of the saddest figures in all the his
tory of melancholy. But if we analyze
his misery we find that he was pessi-
mist not because men are disciplined
by conflict and trouble, but because he
was confirmed egotist.
Had men used printing presses in
those faroff days the first letter to be
exhausted in setting up Solomon's
copy would have been the capital letter
81" II" builded me houses. 'I' got
me soldiers, ~ wrote proverbs. It"
had manseryantS. ST. had maidserv-
ants Through Unsuitable egotism Solo
mon lifted up this ~ as a coiumnar
hitching post. and asked all creation to
stand around and admire him, But
simplicity is to a great man what
sweetness is to rose. A bloated and
overweight egotism makes happiness
mpossible.-Rev. Newell Dwight Hill
lis, D. d., In Ladies' Home Journal.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-12-01
Railroad Ties.

A fact of some interest in railroad
construction is the great diversity in
the number of ties used to the mile on
different lines, as well as in the size
and quality of timber. Thus, accord
ing to the construction details of the
New York, New Haven and Hartford
railway, the number of ties used on
that line is $500 to the mile. three
quarters of these being chestnut and
one-quarter oak, while some roads use
1000 only, or $500 to the mile. More
than 60 per cent of the ties are cut 8
feet long, IL per cent 8 feet and the
rest S1a feet long; the nine foot ties are
used chiefly by the southern and gulf
group of railroads, where pine timber
is very abundant and cheap. The New
England roads have their ties cut from
five to six inches in thickness. while
the southern roads seem to prefer sew
en- inch ties; the width of the ties like
wise varies from five to six inches in
New England to eight inches in the
central northern and the southern
roadS.-New York Sun.