Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1899-01-14
TOPEKA, Kan, January 4, 1899.

A, hdn., january 4, 1888.
Seein' as this is the beginnin' OF
new year, the time fer putin off the
old and putin on the new; the time
fer turnin' our backs to the PASSED
thow that words grinds me) and the
time fer maxim higher resolves fer
the fucher, l got to thinkin' about
all the noble and grand asperations
which has actuated our party sence it
wuz organized. 1 recalled the Sub
Treasury Skeem--that feeasko. Then
there wuZ the mummy mill with its
toOpersent and perkapiter lectures,
but they are gone-all gone: all feeas-
koes-ignominious feeaskOes and fail
ures. Then there wuZ free Homage of
silver but with the Mckinley Bill and
then Bill Mckinley it wuz knocked
into a cooked hat or Fools Cap or
sumthin'- The race of SurfS didn't
senm to have any silver mines and
didn't take to it well. The rankinfile
of our party is honest men-Same as
other rankintiles-but I'm afeared
some of our feeders hev got a little
tech of sumthin' else. From Dimmy
John to Dimmy Gogg amt very fur
and / kin see SineS of both which eX-
plains why we hev made so menny
feeaskoes. This is confidenshal.) J
Then comes the Dimmy Krats.
Take our last effort-the speshul
seshun: 1t is failure; / haint made
a cent out of it. (This is both conf
denshal and private.l OF course we
passed the rail rode bill but the raid
rode fellers and the attorney-solicit-
Gus hev got it all betwixt themselves.
One of our latest offerin's fer the
releef of a race of surfs was the rec
ferendum, which seem to have been
profeuickal. Leastwise it comes near
bein' the end of the party when we
must take reef in our sails-take
new name and steer forth on new
tack to catch the vote of The down.
trodden people.
In this remmyniSSent frame of
mind i went up to the old alliants
headquarters this morning, jist a
maxim some arkylodgical investiga-
tions. The place has not been kept
open fer some time and seems sorter
deserted and haunted by the ghosts of
departed skeems. Even the cote is
ded. He wuZ ravenouS critter and
ct most anything that come handy.
His deth wuz tragic, melancholic and
awful and came about as follows: In
the arkhives of the lodge wuZ copy
of the Omaha Platform printed on
muslin for better preservation. At
first the brethren wuZ very keerful of
the dockyment but later they ap-
peered to lose interest in it and when
last seen alive the cote was chawin'
the old rag. Hunger may have forced
him to this dire extremity or it may
hev bin habit keerlessly contracted
through association and example
Howsumever the cote dide. Some
think he tried to swallow the plat
form and got choked and others say
he did get it down and afterward dide
of sour Stummick. Either way his
death was ominous and symbOllickal.
While rummagin' and projeckin'
around in the arkhives of the lodge,
found among the dockyments and
reckords a little book or pamfiet
which had an old famillyer look al
though / he'd not seen copy of it
fer quite spell. 1t was published
nigh onto or about yeers ago and
wuz called the Manual and Secret
Work of The Farmers AlliantS-by 1.
Ronnick-the author and compiler.
Seein' as how the lodge has ackom-
plished the reel objeck of its noble
and far-seeiu' founders and further
seein' as how it can be of no more
servis to our crate party. tboth bein'
dedl L deem it no sackrylidge to give
TO the publick some inside to the
reel work and ojek of our defunked