The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1899-12-09

before being admitted to the club, was
obliged to take solemn oath never to
marry and to forswear all intercourse
with the gentle sex. For about two
years the "Bowlers," as the town peo-
pie dubbed them, thrived, and the dear
est wish Of each sprouting adolescent
was to become member of this cele-
brated organization and thus enjoy the
luster which it lent to all who belonged
to it.
All went well with the ''Bowlers'' un-
til one day an awful event occurred, an
event which brought blush of shame
on the unsullied brow of every men,
Der. This blow came wrapped up in
pure-white envelope and read as fol-
lows: "Mr. and Mrs. Samuel Sweet
youth invite you to the marriage of
their daughter, Susan Sweetyouth, to
Mr.. Buncombe Bowler, Feb. II, 188-."
Buncombe Bowler to be married! Be-
trayed by their PRESIDENT! Such were
the thoughts that traversed the con-
fused minds of the Bachelors, each one
of whom had received one of the hand
somely engraved invitations, and one
and all they hurried to the house OF
the founder of their anti-marriage
club.
Here tumble of reproaches, appeals
and threats fell upon the dazed head Of
the Bowler" chief, but all in vain. I'm
der the hypnotic spell of Susie Sweet
youths mystic charms Buncombe Bow
Ter remained steadfast and persisted in
staining the fair name of the organi-
zation which bore his name.
The Bowler-Sweetyouthn nuptials took
place with great eclat and the dishon-
ored Bachelors attended in a body.
After the ceremony they betook them
selves to the clubrooms, where they
held a solemn autopsy over the remains
of the Bowler Bachelors club, now on
ly an all too prominent mark for the
Jokes of the village wags, and dis
graced in the eyes of the world. The
club only survived the blow for a pc
riod of two weeks, when the treasurer
eloped with a deacon's daughter, TAX
ing with him the funds of the club,
amounting to $6.75, and all the table
linen, which shortly afterward graced
the table of the happy pair.
The Bowler Bachelors club was no
more. Gradually and without appar-
ent heed to the solemn VOWS they once
had taken, they succumbed one by one
to the charms of the maidens of Low
down Heights, until finally they had
all united their budding destinies with
some one"-of the sex which they had
previously feigned to scorn.
1t was at this critical juncture that
Buncombe Bowler again rose to the
occasion and suggested reforming the
old club On new lines. Forgetful of the
perfidy of their former chief the now
staid benedicts allowed themselves to
be induced into joining the new organ
ization, which was called the Hearty
Eaters club" in honor of their presi-
dent, Mr.. Buncombe Bowler, whose
talents in the astronomical lire were
without rival. There was one thing.
upon-and that was that their old
treasurer, who had lately returned to
town, bringing with him his wife and
the table linen, be black balled, for,
while they could pardon a man for
running away to get married, they
could not overlook his using the sacred
anti-marriage table linen of the Bow
lers" on his bridal table, and Mr..
Quickaway was therefore refused ad-
mittance to the new club.
All these thoughts came to Mr.. Boo
bingle as he meditated over the ulti-
matum of his wife, and he decided fin
ally that, rather than abandon the
Hearty Eaters" he would yield his
point and allow his wife to have her
new bonnet.
my DEAR" said he, wishing to appear
magnanimOus rather than beaten.
while it will be quite struggle, I feel
that must keep up the reputation Of
my family in all matters, therefore you
may have your hat"
"Oh, you dear, good Blodgett" cried
Mrs. Boobingle, rushing into his pudgy
arms and embracing him. II knew you
would let me have my bonnet, and I
promise you it will be a 'dear.'''
And it was dear, as Mr.. Boobingle
learned to his sorrow. When on the
following Sunday he accompanied his
wife to church, his breast swelled with
conscious pride as he observed the ef-
feet of Mrs. Boobingle's "creation" on
the female portion of the congregation,
but his pride turned to dismay when
he received the next day a bill thus
worded: For one hat, $50; paid on ac-
count, $35. Please remit balance"
And that evening, after a rather
stormy interview with his wife, as Mr..
Boobingle slowly wandered toward the
Hearty Eaters club, he thought to him
self that everything was costly in this
world, even dear of bonnet