Little Falls weekly transcript. (Little Falls, Morrison Co., Minn.) 1894-19??, 1899-06-20
COMPRESSED AIR TANK SPREE.

COMPRESSED AIR TANK SPREE.
ten, so that a man who drinks gill will
be as hilariously happy, as maudl'n ana
incapable as he used to be when ne
drank a cask.
DR.. Corning found by experiments that
men who work in caissons under COM
pressed air are peculiarly susceptible to
the effects of rum. A man who takes
perhaps one cocktail and then climbs In
to a caisson where the air is at about SO
pounds to the square inch finds himsel:
intoxicated, thus cheating the saloon
keepers ont of the price Of many drinks.
The physician who discovered all this
at his laboratory thinks it is entirely
feasible to- build compressed air parlors
In every saloon. Here are the advan-
tages of such an Innovation as explained
BY 4 well known drinking man. '@H'. =
1.-THE great beauty Of the thing," said
he, lis its 'instantaneousness.' There
may not be any such word in the diction-
ary, but it describes the situation.
"a man with! a desire to get q COM
pressed air jag takes one drink and en-
ters the tank. At once he is very drunk,
/ condition he has reached without any
great tax upon either his stomach or his
purse. a.: '.' -
"While In the tank he can sing and
dance and tell funny stories and say all
the idiotic things that drunken men make
4 specially of saying. he can talk about
himself, denounce his enemies, tell his
grievances, give vent to his bottled up
patriotism and have glorious time gen.
orally.
'But the beauty Of the air tank comes
T. H. In
has to do is to emerge from the tank,
and he IL sober at once; pay his modest
check for one drink and go about his
business.
"None of the time spent in SOLDERING up
will be wasted when the air tanks are
inserted in our saloons. They can be
made as large as you like, with electric
lights, choice reading matter and free
lunch. It wont be necessary for the
waiter to enter the tank to serve drinks,
tor the client takes only one, and that on
going in himself.
"No doubt the tank idea will be op-
posed BY the distillels, but just al soon
as one saloon builds one all the rest Will
have to follow suit. It will be glorious
day for the American wife when every
drinking place has one.
"Why? Because it will abolish drunk
enness. All the intoxication there. will be
occurs in the tanks. No man will ever 20
home inebriated to bore his wretched
better half with his long dissertations on
his own abilities, on his talents so great
" underestimated by the populace, with
bis persecution mania or the silly anec-
dotes which, when unsober, he imagtnes
are funny.
1.-THE first tank should be built by pub"
lie spirited wives. A small admission fee
might be charged to provide for interest
on the bonds, but the drinking man
could well afford the fee, even il it were
4 dollar, as the tank would save him so
many expenditures.
In the big building operations down
town, icaissons are used to exclude water
and quicksand. u The contractors have
only slight accommodations to offer to
transient guests, as the men sitting
around tables In caissons interfere with
the building operations. 49,
"You cannot blame the contractors for
not admitting those who wish to expert
ment, for they really haven't the room.
They are forced to guard their own inter-
ests. ~. .'''.' >.'..
"Compressed air is very much more
healthy than rum and considerably cheap
er. It cannot be cornered or hogged by
4 trust rs whisky can"
DR.. Corning admits his discovery, but
refuses to indorse its application to ga:
looms. He says he made 1t purely for