Ottumwa semi-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1899-1903, 1899-12-07
IHE FOUR PRESIDENTS.
By W. 1. ALDEN.

copyright. 1885, by the Author.l
ut was along back in the year 1851
said the American ambassador, "that
was appointed American minister to
Torrizonia, which, as you probably
know, was at that time an independent
Central American republic, though since
then it has been annexed by one Of its
neighbors There was only one town in
Torrizonia of any size, and that was the
capital and principal seaport. The gov
eminent sent me out in a frigate, and
when we arrived at Porto Nuevo and /
was on the point of going ashore the
captain, who was a particularly good
fellow, said he'd lie at anchor for "a few
days, SO as to be ready in case Ishould
need any protection. You see, there was
most generally revolution in progress
in Torrizonia, and the captain. being
thoughtful man, calculated that in case
/ should be accidentally shot he could
|, bon bard the town and make big rep
utation at home for energy and patriot
ism.
81 was put ashore in one Of the frig-
ate's boats, and after I had convinced
an Indian custom house officer who
didn t wear shoes and who couldn t read
my passport that 1 wasn't dangerous
gave my trunks to a couple of porters
and walked up to the hotel. There was
only one hotel in the place, and that
was kept by man who had been a
waiter at San Francisco hotel and
spoke English pretty near as we'll as
or you. 1t was small hotel, and ! had
it all to myself except for the barroom,
where part of the Torrizonian army was
| always drinking itself crazy. I had a
tairish sort Of dinner, and after / had
started in to smoke the landlord came
in and talked with me in sociable sort
of way, though he was very careful not
to sit down in the presence Of great
man like myself.
~ told him / was the new American
minister, and asked him if the presi-
dent was in town, for wanted to pre-.
sent myself to the president as soon ea
possible SO as to get to work, providing
there should be any work for minister
to do.
President Almonte is here,' said
the landlord, but the other presidents
are in different parts of the country
How many presidents does this
country require?' said /. The United
States is a middling big country, but
we contriye to get along with one presi-
dent at time.
g There are four Of them just now,
sir, : replied the landlord, but of course
they'll be thinned out considerably
when they get to fighting. There's
President Almonte, whose term expired
six months ago, but who is holding on
to Office till he can collect some more
taxes. He's got 500 men and all the
artillery in The grounds Of the presiden-
tial mansionsand he III make good fight
for it before he's turned out.
Then there's General Garcia, who
was elected president at the last cleo
ton, but has never been able to get in
to the presidential mansion. He's got
about l, 500 men with him, and he's in
camp about fiveIniles from here.
| Then there's President Alvarez,
who was vice president under Almonte
and considers that he ought to have
, been elected in place Of Garcia. He is
supposed to have 1000 men in his
camp, which is, suy, ten miles north of
here.
President Del Vale has about the
same number Of men with him, and
he's somewhere to the south Of us,
though / can't say precisely where. He
was the senior officer Of the army, and
he set up as president because he said
that neither of the three other presi-
dents was justified in starting revolu-
tions and that it was his duty as a pa.
triot to punish them. Most people here
think that old Almonte, having all the
artillery with him, has the best right
to the presidency, but nobody knows
how the thing will end when once the
fighting gets fairly started
Now, this news didn't suit me at
! all. You see, had to present my creden-
! tials to the president Of Torrizonia be.
! fore could act as minister and earn my
salary. But how was to know which
of the four rascals was the genuine and
only president? Moreover, it was a tic
hllsu Uuslu6SS LUZ ll6 III eel0CC d pTSblu6ut
i and stick to him. By SO doing I recog-
nized his government and became, SO to
speak, responsible for him.
SAT first was inclined to-recognize
Almonte, who was within handy reach,
and who had certainly been president
up to the time Of the last election, what
ever might be the legality of his pres
emit position. But, then, in case called
on Almonte and presented my papers /
should be treating the chap who had
been elected president with gross injus-
tice. There would have been no use in
writing to Washington for instructions,
for the mail for the United States left
Torrizonia only once in two months,
and it had left the day before arrived.
saw should have to act on my own
responsibility, and didn't like it at
all.
"You see that I couldn't afford to
spend three or four months waiting for
the presidents to thin one another out,
for my salary didn't become due until
| had been regularly received by the
lawful president. OF course, being a
practical man, I knew that any one OF