Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1899-08-24
JADE WON THE BELLE
fET HIS FACE WAS HoMELY ENOUGH
TO SCARE CHILDREN.

lie Had Given Up All Hope of Ever
Getting a Wife Until lie Acciden-
tally Learned His Power. and Then
He Got Mighty Particular.
Il reckon Jabe Hawkins was about
the ugliest man the Lord ever let live"
said Uncle Ben as he mcditativeiy
whetted his knife upon his boot leg.
I've knowed strangers to foller that
man around for half hour jest to git
another look at bis face an then go
right off an take a drink o Ticker.
Seemed to kind o. give 'em relish for
it. I've knowed fool women to scare
their children into spasms by threaten
in to give 'em to Jabe. an they do say
he's been the cause O more than one
runaway. He was jest pizen ugly, an
that's all they was to 1t. 1t was durn
pity. too. because he was mighty nice
man If you happened to meet him in
the dark, an he had money in the
bank at Maple Run an so acres O as
fine bottom land as ever felt a pillow.
Well in spite O him bein SO blame
homely that he dassent look a woman
in the face. this yere euss was always
wantin to git married. but. O course,
they want no way TO get at ii. He
advertised some In the city paper an
writ letters to lots O. women that way.
but he was honest TO the core, an when
the thing got along fur enough SOS
they might anything come O. 1t he al
ways sent his photograph. an that end
ed it.
.'Oncet they was Il mighty likely
widow from way back east that got to
likin .Tabe purity well through his let
ter writin. an must say he was q
good hand at that. before he sent his
pickshur. After studyin over his line
ments for couple o. mouths she made
up her mind to come on anyhow. but
when she ACCESSIBILITY saw Jabe in the
flesh she backed out an married 81 Pc
ter, an she made him a mighty fine
wife. barrin the fact that she had a
20-year-old son that bobbed up after
the ceremony an turned out to be as
shiftless as it's possible fur man TO
git an live.
Then Jabe gifts desperit, an he up an
offers hundred dollars reward to any
body as will git him a pardner. But
that didn't amount TO much. Ole Dud
Harris lowed he'd make his Oldest
girl, Mirandy. the one that had the
harelip. jine him. an .Iabe. KNOWN
his own Shortcomings. was satisfied to
git anybody most. but Mirandy took
epileptic fits an died before the weddin
come off. an folks all aroun said 1t was
a judgment on bud.
'sThen Jim Damn brung aroun his
half witted girl. an Jabe studied a
long while over it. thinkin mebby that
If they was goin to be children come
with his uginess they'd better be fools.
too, SOS they wouldn't realize it. The
girl seemed to take fancy to .Iabe
right away an wanted to kiss him, but
he changed his mind right off. properly
decidin that he couldn't stand anybody
that was as big fool as that
Things was this-a-way when there
was hypnotizer come through Maple
Run an give a show, an he asked for
people to come up on the platforms an
be hypnotized. Everybody most was
afraid to go till Jabe made the break,
sayin 1t didn't matter much what be-
come o. him nohow. an then five more
went up like they alluz do.
We'll. the mint this here hypnotist
took hold O. Jabe's head an tilted 1t
back to git good look In his eyes he
give funny little jump an says:
"'I can't do nothin with you. Why.
man. you may not know it. but you
got more power than have II you
fix them fine blue eyes o your'u on
anybody. they just nachelly have to do
what you say
"rhen be let Jabe 90 an made Wash
Diffils fight bunlblebees an preten' he
was dog an do the most ouilandish
things you ever heard of. gosh. it
was funny. an he made some o the
others act up, too. but none so much as
ole Wash. an the next day be went
away.
"But he made mighty big change in
Jabe's life. Y'see up to this time .Iabe
allus dropped his eyes every time he
see woman comm, an the woman allus
looked the other way But now Jabe
made up his mind to try it. an so he
looked. an all the women knowed
about it, so they looked, an they found
out that them eyes was mighty fine if
you looked at 'em so keen you couldn't
see the rest O. his face. They was
mostly scared. too. since they heard
as how Jahe was hypnotizer if he
only wanted to be hathaway: but, o.
course. that only made 'em look all the
more.
First off. .Iabe didn't have the sand
to look at the best lookin girls, but only
the homely ones, an it wasn't two
weeks till he could o. had his choice O.
dozen girls. You see. they got TO
| talkin to him an studyin them eyes O.
hiss'n. an fust thing they knowed they
was hankerin after EN-. But .Iabe got
particular They was time when he'd
been tickled to death to have any girl
that wore dresses keep comp'ny with
him. but be KEEP raisin his idees every
day till fin'ly he sot his mind on winnin
Hetty Allen. that was the blamedest
purtiest girl in the whole country an
had a dozen fine lookin fellers with
good horses an buggies an some land
tryin to court her. an blame II he didn't
git her An the funniest part Of il all
is that there amt no purifier young
uns anywhere than them seven chill
- LII oil hlIln
eyes, every one of EN-, an the rest Is
like their mother"
The sun Is Biae.
Professor S. p. Langley, secretary OF