The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-06-28
EPISTLES TO ST. PAUL.

The Lazy club Is not. sui generis a
st. Paul institution. Other cities have
them. The international headquarters
are at Philadelphia. A member of the st.
Paul section recently contributed-in a
sitting posture-some facts concerning
its membership. He said:
There are twenty-seven Of us. all told.
And we are toll&d often enough. This
is one of the prohibited jokes of the club.
1t requires something of an effort to see
the point L was fooled yesterday by
you newspaper folk. They told me that
there was a machine in thesGl o b e Of
I flee that set tyspes Glad to- know that a
certain amounE Of work had been done
away with, / dFopped into your elevator
and was shunteh:up into the fourth story.
The machine Was fraud Found man
working it. Was disgusted. Received a
report from our Omaha branch last
week They have just buried a member.
Buried him alifes"t,
"Alive!' !,
Eyes. You see the citizens got sore on
him because heTh8d conscientious scru-
pies against working, and were carting
him away to the cemetery. What are
you going to do with that mann asked
an inquisitive euss on Dodge street.
:" Bury him. replied the committee.
"'What for?'
" oh, he hasn't got nothing to eat in
the house.
We'll. hold on said one of the citi-
zens, L hate to see a man treated that
way
Well, what you going to do about 1t -
asked the committee, stopping the cart.
Why, III give him g. buShel of hick-
Dry nuts to live on until he can do bet
ter
Our brother raised his head, looked
over the side of the cart and inquired:
{" Are they cracked?'
No. said the philanthropic citizen,
but you can crack en-
" Drive on, boys said our truly loyal
and consistent brother. And so they
buried him. I was out to White Bear
lake to see my aunt last Sunday. but
there was too much Sabbath breaking
in that family, so 1 came away"
How sop
81 thought everything was all right,
but on going down cellar after an iced
bottles of preserved peaches. was hor-
rifed."
What startled your"
'"They were working
Say, boss,
I'm only a hoSs,
Without friend
From end to end
OF the town.
/ am turned down
With busted heart
By the autocart.
That's me,
But, hully gee4s
The times Pve5had.
Good and badNS3s
On drays and sarags,
On 'busses and traps.
Coupes and sleighs,
In russell straps:
But But I've soz had fny day.
And I've guessed
* rad IN orfxy q
But, gee wiz!
/ once was biz
On the aVenOO,
And the boulevard.
I could fling a shoe
With the best. It's hard
To be thus tossed off;
It really gives me a hacking cough.
It's the timothy hay2
Not much;
It's a regular~toueh
OF horrors I've got.
For can't tTot
In the autOcaft class.
So it's out to grass
I'll go. and alas.
For the good old days.
But they can't run sleighs
With natural gas,
And kerosene oil,
And eleetric power.
So I'll not snofl.
When the winters lower. -
And you want spin =. -
Tn cutter. I'm In
On that, you bet, -
And don't you forget =
The old bay boss
That you've given the double cross
You'll say YesS
When you want your sleigh,
And then / guess
That I'll say neigh.
.ef..:s 6gI6s - So -.
A prominent physician living on ST. An
thony hill, with his wife, was entertain
ing half dozen men friends at dinner a
few days ago, and the young hopeful,
aged six, was relegated to the kitchen;
a depressing and annoying indignity. The
| youngster insisted on peering into the
/ dining room at intervals until he was
/ finally made to understand, with some en-
I phasis, that he was to stay out perma-
| nently.i He did stay-about minute.
| Suddenly the door opened again. young
head was poked through the aperture,
and the table was shocked by the inter-
| polation: 80. 49,
| "Youse can all. go to -
| The young man fastened out them The
housewife was dismayed, but regained
her self-possession enough to remark:
IT wonder where Freddy ever learned
| such language"