The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-06-06

only one time when I envies de rich"
Pm ashamed of yer weakness
Il don't blame you But When reaa
about desc swells comm all de way
from Europe as saloon passengers,
can't help feelin' a pang O Jealousy
Washington Star.
Little Freddie-Pa, what are the
spoils of war.
Pa-The money the heroes get for
writing magazine stuff that was con-
tanned in newspaper articles published
months before News.
First Statesman-Did you know that
over $19, 600. 900 a year was the amount
stolen by the Spanish customs officials
in Havana?
Second Statesman-Say, it will never
do for us to leave people who will
stand that in the hands of some one
else.-Indianapolis Journal
81 thought I wouldn't propose to her
until 1 had seen her in wheel suit"
''WeH?''
After she had seen me in my wheel
suit she wouldn't have me."-Chicago
Record
What is the name of that United
States ship after our money!" asked the
sultan of Morocco.
THE Chicago, SIRE" was the reply Of
the underling.
In that CASE said the monarch, sad
ly, there is nothing to do but separate
ourselves from our sequins. Indian
apOnS journal.
Whilst Johnny on his wheel would roam,
His muscles for to harden,
His tyrant father keeps him home,
A-digging of the garden.
She: Henry, I want some money"
He: Money? What for?"
I want to buy one of those baseball
fans. They must be all the rage; the
papers have SO much to say about
them. "-Indianapolis Journal.
Widow FarrelIy: DO We moind the
beautiful bookay Mr.; Googan PRESENTED
his wolfe died jist tin days ago.
well, didn't they eHarper's Weekly.
He knew what they always say, so he
thought he would forestall her.
Il suppose you've never been kissed
by a man before?" he said.
DO I look as homely as that?" she
demanded, neutrality-suspicious..
Il wonder how Sinbad the sailor.
came to. tell such outlandish and i'm
probable yarns" said the man with the
practical mind.
Il suppose" said the man who was
reading the newspapers, that he want
ed to make sure he was on safe ground.
where there would be no risk of saying
anything undiplomatic. Washington
Star. -"E
want a situation as errand boy, do
you? Well, can you tell me how far the
moon is from the earth, eh?"
Boy: well, Guv'nor 1 don't know,
but reckon it amt near enough to in
terfere with me running errands.'' He
got the job.-Metropolitan.
He: IF you should suddenly discover
that I had had-had had, we'll that I
had had past, would you love me
still?'
She: ooh, Edward, how you frighten-
ed me; 1 thought you were going to say
that you had-had-well, that you had
lost your fortune. Chicago Times
Herald.
Penelope: ct hear your engagement
with Paul is broken; is that right?''
Patience: yep"
Have you returned his ring yet?"
mo; told him he'd have to come
around and pick it out: 1 really don't
know which is s."-Yonkers States
man.
1.-THE cashier informed me-" said the
president that he was strongly tempt
ed to skip with the funds, but that he
locked himself up with them and pray
ed over them all night and overcame
the temptation
Il know it, said the chief director. Il
had a detective at his door. one at each
window, and one on the roof-at the
chimney .f1ue-while he was praying -
Atlanta Constitution.
us this seat engaged. miss?' asked
the f1irty hat drummer.
NO. sir: but 1 am; so you haven't
any show"
Then the drummer drummed his fin
gers and gaZed out at the flying scenery
Chicago News.
Cant you children play without ring
ing the doorbell SO much?"
mo, mamma; Edith and 1 are play
ing house, and Willie is the collector
Truth.