Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1899-07-13
ROCHESTER TONIC MAN.
What COhn Has to Say Ex-
planning the Question.

IL tel YOU mine lTlen, Salu
Louis Cohn, to d Chieftain report
er the other day, tits the men
who sell it and not the stuff that 5
sold, witch gets US into trubble. "
"How's that" the reporter asked.
well, now for instance, take dat
fellow Deck Title, of your town,
un dat tam rascal Ward, of Clare
more. Vat de do? Veil, dey
would sell any kind of stuff, un all
kinds of stuff, cal! it "tonicl"
"tonic!" "tonicl" an of course,
ven de people get drunk, dey say
it vas Rochester tonic dat made
dem so. I'll tell you, if dey vas
all honest like Cohn dere would
be no kickers on dis Rochester
tonic, and a man could make an
honest living in dis territory"
"Oh, yes, the people say" with
characteristic shrug OF the shoul-
ders, "dat Cohn's getting rich on
dis business. Mine Got have dey
lost their senses? Amt | been
burned out three times? Tn /
leave it t. any honest man if dere
is any money in being burned out
without insurance? Eh! No, it
dom take Jew to know dat. Why
my frien"patting the reporter con-
fidentially on the back. I'm
actually, so sure mine Got in hea-
ven, I'm in debt up to mine neck
un give you mine word as an
honest man If vas out of dis bust
ness l would not even dink oft
again" "
why is it, Mr.. Cohn," asked
the reporter that you never came
to VInita and started a place.
"Vinita!" shouted Mr.. Cohn,
drawing back as if afraid of some
thing, "dat is the dryest tam town
in the world. Wy do you know
watts a fact, | bet you hundred
tollars | can 60 to YInita, put some
water IN beer bottles, color it
brown and in two hours haye fif-
teen men swear it made dem
drunk, un get arrested mine self.
Take de bet? OF course you Won't.
You know de old saying about hit
ting a man with a sour apple un
making him drunk, veil dat's so
true as gospel, un there are others
who walk into a Joint as dey
call 'em, not take ting, turn
around un walk ont reeling, crazy
drunk un proud OF it. Times is
different from ven | vas a young
man. In dose days ven a man
would get full, de next morning be
vent around to his frien's un tried
to hush it up. Now ven a feller
gets drunk he's not only proud OF
1t, but disappointed if he don get
in de papers.
"What do you think of the in
diclments pending against you
Mr.. Cohn," "Dey are a tam out
rage. Wy, mine frien' | give $500
license every three months TO the
town OF Muskogee to sell this
harmless tonic, vile de drug stores
in dat same town sell whisky un
beer, Budweiser beer, too, un
don't pay tam cent un are never
indicted. Tn l give a thousand
tollsrs every year to the poor,
sick and suffering in dis territory,
un a beggar never leaves my doof
hungry. How much did you ever
hear the druggists of Muskogee
giving to charity. Not tam cent,
un dey are still selling. 'Ny don't
dey get Indicted?" III tell you
mine irien' dey do deTe business
in de back room un ven man gets
full dey fire him out un say, %
down to COhn's, un If you get
pulled squeal on him. Don't give
US, your friens' away. Den again,
de put druggists and dere frien's
on d grand juries. | heard OF
case from ChecOtah where dey
found three sales of whisky and
de grand jury turned him loose
cause he vas a druggist. | don't
clam to be an angel, few of Us are.
but / say | am honest IN my busi-
ness. Wy don't dey put Rochester
tonic dealers on the grand jury
once in a while?"
Then Mr.. Cohn entered into a
TRADE upon the grand juries who
indicted him "un te dam buns
who swore TO lies" and expressed |
as confident he would |
never be convicted. mot on your
life mine frien. | have fully |
made up my mind on it. | am I
like dat Irishman who said he |
would like to visit every place in
De United States except de Jail un |
dat vas one place he would not go |
Neither will Cohn."
Be careful how you speak of
voman's character. Think how |
many years she has been building |
It, OF the toll and privations en-
lured, of the wounds received,
and let no suspicious follow her
lctioHs. The purity Of woman l.
he salvation OF the race, the hope
,f future greatness and the re-
iemption of man. Wipe out her
purity and man sinks beneath the
wave of despair, with not a star to
guide his lite into tho channel Of
safety. Think, then, before you