The times., 1899-03-02
The story of an ob.truct,oui,t.

There an Unusually Intelligent Hog
who made up his Mind that he would be Famous.
He had heard Of Fame ever since he was a Little
Pig, and the children used to come and study
their lessons the Bench outside the Barnyard
He Gathered from what they said that to attain
Fame one should Restrain ones animal Appe-
tites and try TO Improve.
In addition to this the Pig Knew that those
who eat all they want grow Fat and eventually
become Pork. And he said, will not he Pork.
will restrain my desire for Food and Improve
Myself. Then | shall be Famous
So he lived Army Rations for some Months
and Trained himself down to a skeleton; and all
the people from Three Counties came to See Him.
And he said. am becoming Famous. And the
Farmer told his Boys that that pig would never
be any uae to the Butcher and they could have
him for Pet. So the boys taught him many
Tricks, and exhibited him at the County Fairs.
And the Pig grew Wiser and Wiser.
One day one of the Boys said: This Pig knows
enough to Run for Congress" Su they took him
to Town-Mccting and Suggested the Idea And
wealthy Sausage Manufacturer endorsed the
Hog because he said that was Candidate he
could Understand. The Hog did not Love the
Sausage Manufacturer. but he wished to Go to
a.
tions and was Elected.
Now. one oi the Tricks that the Hog had been
Taught was 10 Lie down across the Road and re-
fuse to Get Up when people came along And
as few persons wish TO Step a Pig or dislo-
cate their Carriage Wheels, the travellers Turned
out into the Mud and left the Pig in possession
using bad Language the while. So the Pig said
Il Control tine situation But when he tried the
Trick in Washington he found that he did
not Always Control the Situation. Sometimes
people walked Around him. for the road was
Wide. and sometimes Policemen came and Clubbed
Him. 80 he gave w That Trick, but he still
Wished to Control the Situation, so he became
an Obstructionist. When there anything
that Congress Wished to do he would Vote
Against it, no matter what it Was. And he he.
came the most Famous Obstructionist in the
Lower House Also he Jared sumptuously Six
Times Day, and grew enormously Fat for he
said: There is no danger that anyone will make
Pork of Ne now am too expensive. 1t Cost
Thousands OF Dollars to Put me Here, and |
might well have Good Time. | am so Great
that Even the Sausage Manufacturer Dare not
Touch me. l shall never be Pork. am not
Pig any More. am Statesman"
But one day the Pig happened to be Crossing
the Railroad Track, and he saw i Construction
Train Coming. And he saw that the Track was
Narrow and that Policemen were about and
he seized with Sudden Porcinc Impulse TO
lie Down, for lie said, Ii | Lie Down here on the
Track they cannot Run the Train. and il they
do not Run the Train they cannot Build that
Canal they talking about. and if they do
not Build the Canal the Imperiaist Policy will
he Defeated, and it will be All My Work This is
the Chance OF my Life. | will show them that |
can Influence even International Politics ii |
choose. So he Lay Down the Track
When the Construction Train struck him il
shuntcd him of into the Ditch and went on
When they Picked him Up he was Deadcr than
Moses And they telegraphed the Sausage Manu-.
facturer. They did not have 4 Funeral for the
Deceased, because lie only 4 Pig
When the Sausage Manufacturer Came he had
the Body Weighed and said, This is Good Fat
Pork. IL would be Pity to Lose it. [ will
have it Made into Sausages. And he Did So
the Learned Pig turned into nothing but Pork
After AL.