The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-05-11
Sforyeffes.

A tall Missourian called at the dis
trict school, and, eying the teacher
sternly. said:
"My boy Henry tells me you whipped
him last evening"
eyes," assented the teacher, edeing
towards the door, "but he deserved it, l
assure YOU"
"And he says you used rawhide on
him."
Eyes sir, but"
"And you slapped him with your
hands as we'll ?"
IL did, but l assure YOU"
Assure nothin'. Let me give you a
pointer. When you have to punish that
boy use a club; he doesn't care darn
forrawhides." Nebraska State Journal.
The captain of ship was absent
from it one day, being on board anoth-
or vessel. While he was gone, a storm
arose, which in short time made an
entire wreck of his own ship, to which
it had not been possible for him to
return. He had left on board two little
boys, the one four years old, and the
other six. under the care of young
eolored servant. The people struggled
30 get out of the sinking ship into a
large boat; and the servant took the
captains two little children, tied them
into a sack, and put them into boat,
which by this time was quite full. He
was stepping into it himself, but was
told by the officer that there was no
room for him, that either he or the
children must perish, for the weight of
all would sink the boat. The heroic
servant did not hesitate moment.
"Very WELL" said he, give my love to
my master, and tell him beg pardon
for all my faults" and then he went to
the bottom, never to rise again till the
sea shall give up its dead. - School
Education.
Tod Sloan was once stopping at a
certain hotel and, as usual, had the
best suite in the place. Mr.. Belmont
arrived few hours later and wanted
the same suite.
"How much is it?" asked Belmont.
Fifty dollars replied the clerk.
Great Scott" cried the millionaire.
81 want something for about ten
He was accommodated
by the way" remarked Belmont,
"whoS got that tifty-dollar suite:'
Your jockey, Tod Sloan,' responded
the clerk with grin-Fun.
"a Boston mother" says the Boston
Herald, "was instructing her little
daughter how to behave when she went
TO luncheon at the bishops house.
Now, dear, when the butler hands you
something the first time take little
on your plate. When he comes the
second time you may help yourself to a
little more, but the third time you
must say, NO, thank you, just as YOU
always do at home. So the little Bos-
ton child went to the Bishops house to
lunch and came home much delighted
with her visit. Did yOn do just as ]
told you, darling?' inquired mann ma,
anxiOusly. Il took something very J ice
when it was handed to me the first
ame, and then when the butler came
again l took little more, but the third
time l SAID, "No, thank YOU But
when he came the fourth time you
hadn't told me what to do, So just
thought of papa and said, "No, damn
your"
81 think it would be WE'LL" said the
decorator, ITO have your dining room
oordered by frieze."
"NO, no." demonstrated the man who
bad only recently struck it. 81 want
fhat room, above all others, to have a
warm, cozy appearance. philadelphia
North American.
Mr.. EiSenstein got tired Of making
pants for a Charities street firm for ten
sents a pair, and, struck by happy
shought, sought out cloth house, and
when he was admitted to the presence
of the head partner, stated his case:
81 want to puy couple of hundret
collars worth of cloth, den I'll make 'em
mp. into pants and sell 'em, and 1 pay
you de money!
"How is your credit?"
"My vaJ?"
"YOur credit? If we take your note
San we sell it?"
"Sell i'd? Sell i'd ?" shrieked the He
brew. do you suppose if could sci
my notes would stay home and MAKE