New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-12-22
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

The Rev Charles S. Morris. a missionary from
this country OF the African Methodist Episcopal
Church at Port Elizabeth. Cape Colony writes thus
in THE Voice OF Missions" of Atlanta. Ga: THE
government Is infinitely better than the government
Of any Southern State. I have travelled hundreds
OF miles both by land and by sea, have eaten at
restaurants have slept at hotels. have talked with
all sorts and conditions of men. and 1 say DELHI
erately have been treated thousand per cent
better than / would have been treated anywhere
south Of Mason and Dixons line. I have not been
refused a single thing could pay for. SO much
for my treatment I'm the Queens dominions. God
bless her; don't wonder that her African subjects
loyal TO her"
Little Bobby Snow doesn't think teachers know
much and he says they don't remember nothing
either. He heard Miss Hornbook ask Johnny Bates
how much two and two was, and Bobby says II was
only the day before that he told her-(Boston
Transcript.
well known member of the English House of
Lords was recently chatting with his little grand
daughter. who snugy ensconced his knee.
What makes your hair white. grandpa" the
little miss queried II very old, my dear was
in the ark" replied his lordshp, with a painful
disregard OF the truth. "Oh! Are you Noah?
NO" Are you Shem, then?' mo, l am not
shem" Are you Ham?" NO" Then" said the
little one. who fast nearing the limit Of her
biblical knowledge, you must be Japhet" mega
tive reply was given to this query also, for the
old gentleman inwardy wondered what the outcome
would be. But grandpa. IL you are not Noah or
shem Ham or Japhet you must be a beast
Smlthers|T am going to have my picture taken.
good deal depends upon the pose don't you
know. Now, what kind OF position do you think
would be the best for me?
say with your back to the camera but then your
hair IS rather thin Standardization Transcript
THE Chicago Tribune" says that James A. Allen.
Of Palmyra, Wis. who is finishing his fftieth
consecutive year as Justice Of the Peace In that
city is entitled TO wear the belt as the champion
ofceholder. Until the Grant administration Mr..
Allen was a consistent Republican. Since that
time he has voted the Democratic ticket, but the
change I'm his politics made no difference in his
success at the polls In fact he Is popular that
for years he has been unanimously nominated by
both parties.
Edsons carly wanderings brought him at
enteen years of 10 the Cincinnati Office OF the
sorpuon in electricity and predictions Of It's future
power confirmed the sobriquet "Luny," which
chung to him until his fame established
we have the craziest chap In our office" said the
telegraph manager TO the Editor OF The Cincn-
queer things. l wouldn't be surprised II he should
turn out genius some day Let tell you
time by cockroaches. They infested the sink They
don't now. Luny fixed them. He just ran two
with negative and the other with positive electric
ity Bread crumbs were then scattered, and when
on the wires ashes were ali that were left to tell
the tale."-(Collier's Weekly.
The following curious advertisement appeared the
other day I'm the local paper OF Sudbury Suffolk
County. England: MY home has been broken I'D at
l.. I regret that cannot speak In such terms
I should be pleased TO do with reference TO the
Salvation Army need say more on this sad
subject. r. R."s
\ servant girls trades union will soon be as nee
cssary IN England as In Illinois, II may fudge
from the following want ad." I'm The London
Telegraph: Required, good. strong girl. Used to
housework and make herself generally useful In
business house. Must be able TO vamp or play
from music fl3. Comfortable home. No chidren
address c.. Box %'. Postal Department. Daily
guided creatures who say England IS not a must
cal country! All the lady sayey filings back with
scorn so unworthy suggestion. Picture the little
drama. Somewhere In the dim recesses OF the
basement this girl IS polishing the broad surface
Of the ''marster's' boots; Suddenly the voice OF
Mr. Yelowplush is heard I'm strdent tones from
finished a-brushin' them there boots tumble m
and walop the music room pianner while the mars
ter takes is nap Not n musical country In
deedi-Phadephia Press
II IL understood that the German Government will
at take steps to make the islands coded 10 II
under the Samoan agreement a strong naval and
base. Special officers have already been
to go out to organize system OF de- |
fensive works. to prepare plans for arsenal and
n coallng and ship repairing depot: and 1t Is be- |
eyed that $4,000 will be expended I'm the course of
the coming year.
Teacher-Tf one man perform piece OF work |
In six days. how long will II take six men to do IL?
Wille-About six weeks
Teacher-How do you get that?
Willie-Six men would get up a strike-(Tit- Bits