Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-11-05
THAT TERRIBLE DAY.
THE IpLER AND HIS FAMILY AT
THE LAUNCHING.
his REPREHEESlBLE CONDUCT.
He's More 10 he Pitied Than Gem
sured, for a Wom"" WINS
c. o,u AiI-In the Midst of the
Push and jam.

Even 81 live 10 waliow In wealth. anu
10 walk in streets OF milk and Money
shall never forget last Tuesday "heh'
rpder the supervision Of the Commander
ln-ch,ef the Shubrick was launched In
driving rain. To have followed that wo-
man I'm the vast crowds. and 10 nave
hurried in her wake through mud ana
slush. is TO have accomplished a feat lar
noblcr and more difficult than winning
battles. or being elected 10 presidencleS'
While there is nothing particularly re-
markable in pushing through crowd "
Is indeed. a feat 10 carry Win you
covey OF youngsters ranging IN age from
the Notwithstanding size 10 the IopDei-
ing infant which chcws its veil no
Is what we did. or. rather. what she ana
for l. a. usual. was a mere grease-spol
on Natures face. and was entirely over
looked. 81 ? L. n. I was compelled 10
fy TO our packing-room, and there resu'-
rect many and divers juvenile overshoes'
into which we're inserted as many little
feet after which the facc-lubric1ting
process was begun. When We had shined
all the expectant little faces, ana nad
satisfied repeated demands FOR SNACK ana
had DEPOSITED several biscuit I'm our p0ch-
cts We started forth 10 battle with the
rnultjuldc. The streets were lined WIN
reople-city folks country folks, auDuIo-
an folks. and folks who belonged nowhere
fn particular. They were all hurrying
and scurryi ing down Main street ana
"cussine' The rain and apolosi4ns 10
their visitors for the weather, ana INSIST
ing that We don't have such storms once
In a hundred years.
As far as eye could reach we beheld
drovcs Of women. and every bieSscH one
az them big and little. had one hand be-
hind her. holding up her skirt ana max
ing herself look as ridiculous as possible
Naming on this green earth could pos
sibly cause a woman 90 appear so inue-
scribabiv awkward as the attitude she
strikes when she looks 90 the safety OF
her petticoats. pushes her left elbow iar
In me rear. and elevates her skirts. a
wet hen Is beautiful In comparison u
such a picture. and. yet. 1 have stu 10
see the first woman who doesn't fairly
luxurate I'm thus assuming the pose OF
tack-knife with partially opened blades
Wet weather Is particularly conducive 10
this phase Of femininity. but We see
quite enough OF IL on clear days, when
there is no possible excuse for it. why
skirts couldn't be made to meet such con-
tingencies 1t more than ] can see. II
they will persist in sweeping up the O.
gar stumps. autumn leaves. ana hahu-
bills. why aren't they shortened before
hand? Certainly, short petticoats are
far more beautiful-Or less hideous-than
the contorted figure Of a woman padding
one elbow projecting TO the rear, her body
twisted. and that striding, grane-like
pose which always accompanies these ef-
forts TO save the dress from contamina-
lion By contact with the streets.
But, be this as it may, there were the
ladies on all sides, and each anu every
one a monument Of awkwardness. stalk
inr. and striding and skipping. and seam
pering over mud puddles. while the dreary
drizzle dreadfully drenched the dilapidated
decorations. and dolefully doused the de
spondent mutitudes. Conspicuous among
the petticoat-lifters was she who bossed
the whole affair-the Incompatible, IRE
pressible, and 10 my mind lTeslstlDle
Commander-in-Chi After her came our
ducklings and goslings and last, but not
least. that humble nonentity, myself. Inc
Juvenile string. with that discernment le'
culiar 10 childhood. found every deep mud
hole on the streets and. II they failed TO
step in one when their mothers head was
turned the opposite way, my powers Oh
observation are very deceiuul.
Down on the street by the dock the /
throng was immense. IL all the liars IN
this country had been assembled there !
the crowd couldn't have been 50 awfully
much larger. A sea Of umbrellas undu-
lated before our vision. while ever ana
anon the squirmiDg mass surged PACK
and forth or jostled the weak and help- !
less All kinds of rain poured down. the
sun never got chance TO wink his eye,
and the feminine portion of the multitude
were perpetualy compelled to twist them
selves into corkscrew shapes 10 look al
ter their -an-instant-forgotten
petticoats.
No IL was not a crowd in which little
children. or big children either should
have been taken and ] said as much. The
Commander-in-Ch Chief listened attendvely
30 this suggestion on my part, and forth
with resolved that she would penetrate
g. In other words. she Immediately re-
solved TO carve her way through OOOO
citizens and 10 acquire by force the best
POSSIBLE place from which to view the
launching That resolution meant mat l
should be held up as scapegoat Tor
hundreds of citizens to abuse wpie the
good woman accomplished her purpose
When the people saw her stern lace peer
ing forth beneath her artificial frlzzes,
and beheld the string of urchins Whlch
followed In Indian file. like horses driven