Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1899-06-29
UNAPPRECIATED REFORMER
He WAS TAKING A GREAT DEAL
ON HIMSELF.
The Man With the Side whiskers Did
Not Take Kindly to the Re-
marks Concerning
Them.

Them.
The passenger who was holding to
the strap in the crowded street car
had been regarding with interest for
several minutes man seated near the
heater.
You'll excuse me, my friend" he
said, bending down and speaking in n
tone of voice calculated to win the
others confidence. ''if | venture to sug.
gest that sde-whiskers are not becom-
ing to your peculiar cast of counte-
nance and style of manly beauty
"Who are you?" demanded the seat
cd passenger, with an indignant EN-.
phasis on the you"
Nobody worth mentioning. Stnl.
l."
Then you will have the goodness to
attend to your own businessY'
Certainly. That's what I'm doing.
I take the Ground that man gets
himself up principally for other peo-
pies inspection. If everybody else was
blind nobodr would take the trouble
sa 80.
of wearing his hair or his beard in any
particular style. 1t wouldn't be worth
his"
Who's asking you for your opinion,
sir? 1t strikes me you're taking
good deal on yourself"
81 know | am. But somebody ought
to do it. am part of the great pub-
lie. When | see thing that's got up
for my inspection | have an inherent
and inalienable right to say whether It
pleases me or not. Still. don't put IL
on that ground In calling your atten-
ton TO the fact that your style of wear
ing your whiskers is not becoming to
you | claim that | am doing you
favor"
20, YOU do, You meddlesome. long
nosed, prying. impudent, insulting pud-
ding head. do you know what | have
a great mind to do with youT'
Eyes. presume you have an impulse
to throw me off the car. I'm used to
that sort Of thing. | am always get
ting into trouble because | take it up
on myself now and then to point ont
TO some man the fact that he isn't
making the best use of his opportuni-
ties to get himself up in good style
narrowly escaped n fight with a fellow
once for simply asking him if his at
tention had ever been called to the cir
cumstance that he looked like John L..
tnnfhpr I
ened with violence because | took the
liberty of telling a man how his mus
tache stood straight out like the bris-
ties of paintbrush and marred his
profile view. There are persons who
don't like to be told that they dive their
beard, but .hay ought to know they
can't hide 1t. Nature never makes auv
mistake in cOloring the beard. When
1t ought to be red. TO be i'm harmony
with the face, nature makes II red
When the hair or beard turns gray it
makes = look a thousand times worse
to color 1t. | suppose if | should tell
the policeman at the public library
that he'd appear a hundred per cent
better If he wouldn't dye his mustache
he'd put me out of the building or ar
rest me for lese majesty. SO il goes.
You'd be surprised, dare say. if Won
would look it up. to find how few peo-
pie with gorgeous side-whiskers Ike
yours ever become great men II takes
so much of their time to cultivate and
admire them that they haven't any left
for improving their minds. They abb
sorb ones vital energy. And when, as
in your ease"
IF you don't shut that darned fool
mouth of yours I'll"
I've nearly finished. | get off about
TWO blocks further on | was going
TO say that when. as in your case.
such long appendages are not only an
inconvenience and steady strain on
the vital forces but positive detri-
meht 10 The appearance"
Take that you blamed IDIOT
The eNasperated man made a lunge
at him with his fist as he spoke
The Self-Sacriticing philanthropisr
lodged 1t with "A celebrity acquired per-
maps by much previous practice and
went on imperturbably:
IT would seem to he the part Of
wisdom, in such a case, | say. to give
up the struggle and content ones self
with less intricate plan of facial mp
hos tery. That's all. You haven't been
as attentive rs some men I've talked
to- but | think youll remember my re-
marks. Good evening
He easily lodged another swinging
blow, nodded To the conductor. and got
on the car with his head erect and
smile Of cheerful resignation on his
face which was beautiful to see.