The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-12-27
ADVICE TO LOVERS.
Some People Think They Are Capa-
bic of Giving It.
/. (PrOvidence Journal.)


If love be the master passion-and
this is the unanimous conclusion of the
poets, at any rate-upon no subject is
more advice needed. Life is serious
matter, and marriage. which is the Gus
tomary end of love in these days, adds
to its responsibilities. Therefore. when
no less a person than. the author of
The Heavenly Twins lays down the
law on the nice point of the proper
marrying age of a girl, she should be
heard with respect. Mrs. Grand finds
that the world is more enlightened
than it used to be in this respect. Once
men were tyrants ana girls married
too young. But Mrs. Grand and her
friends have changed all this No girl
need be "a victim to a husband now.
She knows what men are; or, if she
is still ignorant, she can learn the truth
in the veracious pages of Mrs. Grand
Consequently, the modern girl is dis
posed to repel men, not to encourage
them. "She decidedly Objects says
Mrs. Grand, Ito marrying an extin-
guisher'-an extinguisher being a man
who would expect her TO descend to
such petty things as household affairs
and the management of children. No
she wants a husband for comrade.
He may be her superior in attachments
(can such thing be possible y but he
must appreciate her at her true value.
The Nora business is not her meter.
This, it need hardly be added, is a
high ideal. 1t is better TO remain sin
gle than to accept anything less. Many
married woman, says Mrs. Grand,
envies her unmarried friends because
they have escaped the cares of house
and home. That these cares may be
duties the new woman refuses to be-
ieve. Altruism has no part in her creed.
The duty of sacrifice is not enjoined
By her faith. Let the man she marries
make the sacrifice, and NOT complain
If he finds that her life is wholly apart
from his. Is it not honor enough that
she condescended to marry him at all?
To wish that she might be a helpmate
for himself or a mother for his chill
dren is absurdly out of date. Such
ideas belong to the Dark Ages of Holy
Matrimony. No, the modern girl is not
to be extinguished; he would be a rash
man who should venture the attempt
His only hope is to capture her before
she has had time to think. That is
why Mrs. Grand suggests that the age.
of p is early enough for a: girl to
marry. By that time. we may suppose,
she is reasonably mature, and better,
able to live her own life" Earlier
she might learn to.respect her husband,
to pay some Difference to his wishes
to consider his comforts as well as
her own, and do other reprehensible
things which no self-respecting disci-
pie of modern ideas would think of
doing.
Most girls, however, if they are at
all attractive. have many chances to
marry before they are % They must
learn to say no heroically.
Some men~are absurdly sensitive, es-
pecially if Their vanity be touched:
while some girls, on the other hand.
are too anxious for the chains and slav-
cry of matrimony to let a single chance
go by. Perhaps they realize that it is
man, not woman, who is helpless in
the married state, and who can be
governed and controlled as his wife sees
tit If il be pointed out that some men
are domestic despots, then il can only
be said that their wives were at fault
in not sharply restraining them when
they first attempted TO assert their
usurped authority.
Far worse than the would-be tyran-
ny, because far less easily overcome, is
the fickleness of men.
1t is far better to follow Mrs. Grand's
advice and wait until education in the
duties of the new woman has done its
perfect work. Girls at % would not be
so easily moved by mere outward quail |
tiles. The. handsome debonair beau
would be rejected with scorn, and a I
man with an humble mind and meek
temper, one calculated to make any wo-
man happy. would be taken instead. 1t |
IS decidedly a mistake to be too pre-
clpitouS in such a matter