The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1899-07-15
BoNApARTE's BURDEN.
Much suffering sprRnE from u Name
Inflicted by "a ThOuEhticss Ia
ther Upon His son,

81 wasn't born cross-eyed nor club
footed" said the man from Montana,
ais he made vicious bite az the end
OF a fresh cigar, land things have gone
fairly well with me in buriuess way
but yet there is one thing which never
comes up 10 me that ! don't feel like
committing murder My father named
me Bonaparte. As a child ! was of
course, called Bony, but as soon as old
enough TO get out into the street the
boys shortened that 10 Bones and
Bones am TO this day. I'm telling you
that no man who is Bill or Joe or Tom
ever gets up in the world beyond GER
tain point He may be known as
good fellow, but your familiarity with
his loses him your respect and you un-
dervalue him. Let man get nick
name after he has conquered fame and
it helps him, but people are not helping
Jacks and Jims and Pctes 10 congress
sional honoTs or governorships. That
name Of Bones excited ridicule and
contempt ] licked 30 different kids
for loading II onto me, but il stuck.
went to Sunday school and day school
as Bones ] went 20 college and 10
business as Bones. If my name had
been George or Reginald or Harry peo-
pie would have considered that / had
feelings but as ii was any old thing
was all right for Bones. No introduce
ton was considered necessary Being
named Bones ! must be a good fellow,
and good fellows never stand on cere-
mony. The name kept me back at
school and college, and though fell in
love with a dozen different girls before
was %, they all gave me the shake on
account of the name.
81 finally packed up and took a skip
of a thousand miles for the sole purpose
of getting rid of Bones. ] simply used
the initial. and after three months
was way up in the new community.
! opened a store, began TO court a girl,
and the people insisted that I take the
| postmastership. I'd have had it and
probably a wife at the same time, but
for the advent of one Of my old ac-
Quaintances. He dropped into town
and called me Bones, and il knocked
me into the middle of the last century.
Nobody had any use for a man with
such a name. There was no weight, no
dignity to il. 1t would have been all
right for a Digger Indian or a China
man, but even the Hanks and Sans
and Abes scoffed at it. As matter Of
fact, il was a man known to verybody
as Snub-Nosed Bill who started the
move to freeze me out, In 60 days ]
took another jump and settled down in
a new place. | was almost Immediately
asked to run for the state senate. had
accepted. and the campaign had opened
with a certainty of my being a winner
when | was given away again. knew
how it would be, Within 81 hours
was asked to withdraw, and another
/ candidate was put up. The local papers
even tried to make it out that l was a
villain for having played the public.
MY third skip landed me in Montana,
! I'm there yet I'm Bones to every man,
woman and child for a hundred miles
| around. I'm Bones to my COwpuncher
/ and Bones to every tramp who comes
! along. and I'm given the thTow-down
for no other reason. For the last
meath I've /. en- working a political
racket which was designed to land me
in congress after awhile. 1t has cost me
a good deal of thought and considerable
money, and this forenoon l was dead
| sure of success. But I'd forgotten my
hoodoo. you see. An hour ago | re-
ceived this telegram from one of my
workers. See what he says No use,
They got on to Bohes, and the deal Is
of. IN. y. Sun.