The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-08-27
TRICKS OF run mnADsToNE MAN.
Education of Philosopher by n
HcWer OF Marble.

Hcwer OF Marble.
From the New York sun.
There are tricks in al trades but ours"
said the broker who had just finished a
Wall street story
Wei. don't know" replied the philoso-
pher, reminiscently. "Were you ever in the
maidstone business?"
The head-stone business? Never heard
of il, unless you mean marble-cutting"
There is a great difference one is a
trade; the other is science The head
stone business is the limit for tricks. When
was out of my apprenticeship, l tramped
West through New York state. At East
Aurora l came 60 a marble-yard where a
man was cutting inscriptions on head
stones. | was somewhat hysterical from
.dtigue and l leaned over the fence and
chaffed him. | told him things about mis-
work that must have surprised him.
Among other things l said | could do il
much better than he could. He looked at
me curiously but without speaking for
awhile, then he laid down his tools. took
off his apron, ana said quietly:
Wen, climb over here and do ID then
That man was a mindreader. He is a
rich man to-day. He had sized me up. or
course / could not back down, SO l jumped
over and went TO work, while he sat down
and said plying things about the result.
l soon found l was turning my own grind
stone 10 sharpen the strangers AK. like the
little boy In the McGuffy school-reader,
and il would have served me right If in the
end he had told me to go about my bust
ness but, as l say. he was a mndreader,
and he ended by engaging me to work for
him. 1t was then l learned the tricks OF
| the headstone business.
THAT man used to make quarterly trips
| around the country in a buggy. He took
Il a. IA ~ 90
scriptions. and blarneylng tongue that
| brought him work enough to keep the yard
| going for three months. He was in with
| the doctors and the undertakers. and he
| was apparently the most heartbrolen
| mourner at every funeral for miles around
| To the Protestant minister he was "A
| stanch Christian Endeavorer, while TO the
| Catholic priest he took Off his hat, address
ed him as Father and spoke in the
sweetest reverenual tones. / never really
| knew what his religion was, but he got the
! trade Of both churches. 1t was a treat 90
| see him conduct sale.
| "A counttywOm9n would drive up to the
yard to buy a small monument He would
| size her up instantly. What did she want2
| monument? Just 50. He had what she
wanted exactly. She was Mrs. Smith Of
JoshtoWn Yes, he knew her. He had
sold Mrs. Jones OF that place monument
| not long before n little thing such as
his foot oh, yes; but che would wait
a much larger. and finer one. lie would
end by selling her a stone big enough 20
top the grave Of the village magnate. He
always put the highest price on the cheap
est stone. while the most expensive stone
he quoted sueelirgly far down on the list
| Natural pride thus prevented most Of his
| customers from taking the finest stones
at cut rates so that his profits always
were great. When his customer had Or
dered the shaft, he would ask what kind
| of base she wanted. This always sur
| prlsed the customer, who would want to
| know If the base was not Included in the
price. 1t was not by any means. SO he
would get an extra profit on the base.
| Then he would ASK what kind of sub
base she wanted, at which there would
be more dickering. This surprise in It's
turn would be heightened when fouuda-
| ton was mentioned. This generally would
bring matters to a climax, but / believe
he would have found things to charge
| for beneath the foundation, If he could
| have had any excuse for doing so. Some
times, If the priest or the minister had re-
| commended her he would condescendingly
| erect the stone for nothing, but not often
and II the customer was particularly easy
he would charge for polishing and other
things OF like nature Again, If he had a
| particularly closehsted Old farmer to deal
with and knew before hand he would
mention all these accessories with their
prices. at once, and then gracefully give
them away for the cost of the shaft alone.
| You see. II was the contrast between his
| off-hand method and the serious charac-
ter of his business that appealed to me 50
| strongly.
81 stayed with him six months, and
then when found | was doing a Journey
mans work for half a journeyman's pay
! / concluded | had turned his grindstone
| long enough. SO ! left. Once only did I
see him nonplussed by a proposition. He
had cut a headstone for an old Irishwo-
man. While it was being finished she
came into the yard to look at IL. She
gazed moment, and then, cooked her
head on one side. critically said:
81 say misther. I woudn'e begrudge
we fifty cents extra, If yed cut a couple of
! little angels on top of that
Little angels were worth about SIS
apiece, and the proposition fairly stag
CARED the headstonc man. Yes, there are
tricks in the headstone business"
And the philosopher turned again TO his
morning paper.