Omaha daily bee., 1899-02-18
BEE LINES

A story comes from San Francisco OF an
| Iowa man that marks the Klondike as pos
sessing wonders equal to any experienced by
| sinbad the Sailor or the narrator only
second in his line to Baron Munchausen or
Colonel Tom Oehiltree 1t appears that more
! than year ago this Iowa Jason, arming
himself with stern resolutions and bounti-
full grubstake, after exploring the wilds OF
Seattle, set his face toward the land of
the diminishing sun in quest of the
golden fleece that at that time was sup
posed to be so plentiful in the Klondke that
the Chilcoot boys played marbles with pure
nuggets OF the wanderings of the ad-
venturer the historian Is silent until he ar
riyes with his friends one fine afternoon
beside a rapid stream beyond the White
Horse rapids, where they stopped for rest
and refreshments. In dipping UP the water
he discovered that II contained millions of
grains of a yellow substance, which upon a
closer examination proved to be pure gold.
Here was wealth compared to which the
golden sands of the old Pactolus were as
the gaudy sheen of stage diamond to the
luminous sheen of the Kohiuoor and It
is unnecessary to say that this argonautic
expedition set stakes and prepared to stay
with it, Bailing utensils were called into
requsition and while some boiled the water
down the Others and amoag them Jason,
dragged the bottom for nuggets. AS the
days went by a stiffness seized upon his
limbs which in his enthusiasm he failed
to heed, until waking one morning he found
himself unable to walk or move. Appar-
emily he was rapidly entering that state
petrefaction-which the saffron Sunday pa
pers occasionally discover some gentleman
who lived in aboriginal days to have been
afflicted with, and this induces his COM
panions to hire some Indians to sled him
back TO Skagway. Finally arriving at San
Francisco, eminent physicians were called
in consultation, who, as doctors will some
times do, thought some, talked more and
finally disagreed, each one holding that only
donkey could prescribe the treatment
recommended by any of the others. Finally,
however, one old physician decided to try
Turkish baths on the strange case and the
living petrifed man was placed in the hot
air chair. After time the perspiration
began to flow and with view to analysis
1T was saved. Gradually the use of his
limbs returned to our Jason and at the end
of several hours he had entirely
recovered. The perspiration was then
reduced and was found to have yielded
just $242.1S in gold. That is probably the
richest gold field in all the Klondike, but
strange to say the historian is silent as to
the fate of the companions left on the shores
of that far-away Pactoian stream.
The Hastings Tribune, in discussing the
general prosperity now prevailing in Adams
county, takes the position that most Of
the farm Indebtedness has been cleared UP
and says:
The only reason that some of the popu-
lists in Adams county don't pay off their
mortgages is because they are afraid they
won't have anything to howl about in the
next presidential campaign.
That is certainly heroic devotion to the
lost cause" but it is to be doubted that
even If the mortgages were released
gratuitously that the calamity howler would
quit the evil of his ways. To paraphrase
the nursery rhyme calamity howler howleth
long because it is his nature SO to do.
The fourishing town of Bradshaw has,
among other prosperous and progressive in
stitutlons a debating society that is helping
to train the young idea how to shoot and
in that way is undoubtedly helping to
eventful career, decided that intemperance
is a greater evil than war and vice versa
that the pen is mightier than the sword
also both ways, and several other burning
questions of the day. In the report of its
last meeting the Republican of that place
gives the following:
The question before the debating society
last Friday night was ably debated The
question was in substance, that man en-
joyed more pleasure in married life than in
q bachelor life. Three charming young
women were chosen as Judges, and the Ques-
ton was decided in favor Of the affirmative.
II that was not a case of a packed jury
then it would be hard to find one. There is
little doubt but that these charming young
women would be competent to pass correct
judgment on the pen and sword issue as
would any three judges in the state, but
when it comes to the question at issue it is
impossible not to feel that the arguments
of the negative were, perhaps, not weighed
strictly according to their merits. The So
ciety is to meet every Friday night during
the winter and no doubt great benefits will
be derived from 1t, but SO long as the judges
stand constituted at the last meeting it
will be useless for the defeated orators to
move for a new trial with the hope of any
different results.