The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-01-12

so seldom applied in practice, that the
chief duty in life of a good natured
man as to permit himself to be useful,
1 address you this communication in
the line of your duty. am not a SEN
ator; upon which circumstance you
will perhaps feel like congratulating me
at this particular time. Not being
senator, do not see my way clear to
cutting any ice as a member of the
senatorial caucus, which 1 understand
from some people who have lied to me
so often that 1 feel almost sure it is
time for change, and that they are
telling me the truth this once, will be
held tonight. regret this very much;
1 mean that can't get in on the ground
floor; for am in hearty sympathy with
the patriotic object for which the eau
Gus is to be held, and if I were given
the opportunity 1 would show my SYM
pathy in a more substantial manner
than by mere words, and ask for one
of the jobs myself. AS 1t is, can only
play Moses on PiSgah and look from
afar upon the promised land; hoping
that good friends may bring me back
some specimen of the good things which
abound over there. To be brief as a
lawyer can, have a candidate. have
been too busy helping on jobs, without
which future jobs might be mongolia
able. to bore senators over the matter
of distribution of jobs in sight; but I
trust delay so caused will not work to
the prejudice of my candidate
Mr.. Clemens then explains that his
candidate is a lady. Hers is an Irish
name. Mr.. Clemens then says:
mot foreseeing the exigencies of the
present occasion, she thoughtlessly
neglected to be born a boy so she might
have been one of the voters upon whom
her senator must rely, and so he has
a masculine candidate for something
else. Is that rule cast-iron one, or
can not at least one candidate be a
candidate at large-nOt to be charged
up to anybody in particular? I pre-
sumo it can be as the caucus shall
choose; hence this epistle. 1t would be
a kindness and a compliment I should
never forget if the caucus could do
this thing; whether I deserve it is Of
course another matter.
MY candidates name indicates that
1t is not of French extraction, but when
I reflect that, except Farrelly and your
self, there is scarce a fusion senator
who does not, either by his looks or
by his pugnacity, betray a Celtic origin,
and that at times even you and Farrelly
have been suspected of a latent ten
derness toward the shamrock and the
pieties of st. Patrick's day, I can not
believe that nationality will, especially
in these days of expansion, be a bar to
the consideration of my candidate.
Neither should her religion be a bar.
I know little about this subject, how
ever. l was religious once myself, but
I have not worked at it for so long
that remember nothing of it, except
that it is due to my early piety that
have remained good through all the in
tervening years. Neither should it be
a serious objection that she is related
to me. 1t is not her fault; she was not
consulted. Upon my head alone rests
all the blame for that wickedness. It
can hardly be called nepOtism for me
to ask this appointment; for, in the
interests of harmony and for other pa
triotic reasons, I am about to vamoose
the only public job 1 have ever been
able to light on in all my fifty years,
and this epistle is more in the nature
of a teStamentary request.
81 know you will do what you can for
me, and believe the senators as rule
are kindly disposed toward me. Some
of them, perhaps, would certify for me
as Goldsmith's teacher did for him:
HE is a good deal of a fool, but
find no harm an him. I don't care on
what ground they put their support If
they rally to my lonesome assistance.
Yours from the outer darkness,
&c. C. CLEMENS