The evening times., 1899-09-26
THE LADIES' MAN.
A sympathetic Study of m Individ-
uai Not Fully UnderstoOd.
From the London Globe.)

From the London Globe.)
On fine day in June he is seen at his
best He has his happy moments in win
ter no doubt. wheB he is gracefully ham
ing tea to smartly dressed girls in cozy
boudoirs, or when in a crowded ballroom
ne helps his hostess to arrange the giddy
cotillon, but in order TO display his best
points he needs fine day, splendid but
tonhole, and large garden party, with
not too many men present. Given these
conditions, and how he does sparkle, How
he docs sway! 1t is probably the warm
sun that makes him so light hearted, frol-
icsome. and gay, for breathe it softly) he
is very, very old. He does not look his age,
no one would guess it, and be sure he is
uncommonly careful not to give ii away.
The fact is, the complete ladies man is
bound to be aged, he takes such long
time to develop. In his youth ne was ter
ribly afraid of women. and wanted not 10
De; he wanted TO be young dog so he
practiced hard, with the result that he be-
came not, indeed. young dog, but mid
dle-aged ladies man. He has never mar
ried. for he is absolutely welded to the
whole sex, and very nobly he comports
himself in that trying position. He is COM
petent TO give valuable opinion on gowns,
he constantly designs hats, and on an
emergency he is even able to trim one. He
is spruce, he is clean, he has the prett;est
shade of tie. the g!ossiest hat, and in mis-
frock coat he looks positively slim. Ordi-
nary men rather laugh at him. Look
at that old ass Binks," they cry. VIII 10
one go and spill iced coffee on his white
waistcoat?" They rather like him, though,
he is such harmless old blade, regular
property sword, a great deal OF glitter, but
not dangerous. He could be trusted 10
convey Venus across England or 10 take
Eebe back TO her boarding school. Not
but what he can say pretty things now
and then. but he only fires of his compli-
ments DIT Gowagers, ard that IN the pres
ence of third party. He has an I'M
mense amount Of small talk, has been TO
the Academy, knows which picture TO
praise, and how TO slate all the rest 10
him must we go to learn what play TO pa
troniZe with our youngest daughter, Wnat
with our maiden aunt.
The ladies' man is no new product Mai
volio was perfect specimen till taey spol!t
him by treating him so scandalously. Poor
chap, no one can help sympathize with
him. especially when he makes his last
passionate appeal to Olivia, who, 1t must
he confessed expresses very little regret
for what has happened. That, unfortunate
ly. is generally the way; your Malyolio, or
Mr.. Binks. devotes himself to the fair sex,
and the fair sex suffers him, makes use OF
him, but the moment genuine man comes
marching along, il sends the Wretcheu
chattei about his own business. or to buy
a particular shade of green silk that can
only be obtained at So and Sos and You
will make them send me the right sort,
won't you? 1t is an awful shame TO ask
YOU to go. but know you don't mind, and
you are the only person l could trust.
Goodby. Thank you so much and then
to the other one Poor, dear Mr.. Binksi
but he really is most useful.
Men, who-whatever some very clever
ladies may say-are far less Intellectually
cruel than women, are very seldom brutal
to the finicky elderly ladies man. He may,
perhaps be told to go to the dickens when
he wants TO rout a man cut CT eomforta-
BILE corner. where he is ambushed with his
.cnIiest only" to make up set of lancers.
He may, perhaps, get little chaffed in the
smoking room but there is always some
one ready to take his part. His only inveter-
ate enemy is the rank outsider. who would
give his head to enjoy the worthy fellow S
privileges, but which he will never obtain,
charm he never so wisely. The outsider
may capture some little conhding heart,
may possibly break it, but he will never
be on confidential terms with women as a
class.
The philogynist-were there no ladies'
means an athlete. He does not disport
himself on the lawn tennis ground, far less
in the cricket field, and though he rejoices
to observe that croquet is once more in
vogue it must be confessed that even at
this pastime he is but poor performer
The agonies the gentle creature suffered
when he found that he really must learn
to ride bicycle to keep pace with his lady
| friends were most poignant. He almost
tHa n yrh ho hrtric ico5
his shin on that disgusting little STEP but
his heart was much more bruised when he
was seen at his ungainly exercises by a
! bevy of beauty deftly poised on docils
Numbers Even after he could laboriously
| wabble without assistance 1t was artemi-
sia absinthium (ahem! wormwood) to him
| to be unable to take off his hat to his
| friends as he met them, but to remove 6
hand from the handle would have invited
| chaos At last he became the master Of
his mount, alas! too late; the days of de-
licious twirlings round Battersea Park are
no more for no one now rides bicycle a:
| an end, but merely as a means of getting
| about.
| 1t must not be supposed that anyone
| can become a ladies' man. Not at all. II
needs much perseverance and some small
| private means. An eye for color and
pretty trick of gesticulation are useful. Sc
| are good thick hide and placid tenn
per but ripe old age that looks like
| twenty-five to short-sighted eyes is the rea
sine qua non The ladies' man will be founi
to occupy delightful chambers, TASTEFUL!
furnished and decorated; a bit too mucl
chiffon and joss stick for the absolute man
but well enough on hot afternoon. HI
has nice taste in engravings, is judg
| of liquors, but none will willingly try twic
his whisky or his weeds: he probably onl
keeps them to say so. With all his affec
| tation and idiocy one cannot help likinl
the fellow; he is so good -natured and s
simple. He is dreadfully afraid of sick
ness but he will go and cheer up an in
fiuenza patient when a much more cour
ageous person forgets the stricken friend
very existence. He spends large porto
of his wealth in buying flowers and fam
merry for people who are far better off tha
J himself, and now and then one catche
him out, to his great confusion, in doin