davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05
lie Wasn't Joking.

Baltimore Herald: 81 had four days
growth of beard on my face when
struck Il little town in northern Mich
igan,' said the civil engineer. 81
found Il little coop of a barber shop
near the depot, and | entered it to dis
cover the barber sitting on a bench
with his head in his hands. As he
reused up | told him to get to work
on me, but after looking me over he
replied:
IF l shave you you'll have to take
the chances!'
"'What chances?' / asked.
"'Wcll, I've been on a drunk for the
last week, and am just on the point of
seeing rats. / may get through with
it all right, and may cut your head
OFF,
"The man had a wild look and was
all a-tremble," continued the engineer,
land though he smiled as he talked,
| saw that he wasn't joking. ! went
away without getting shaved, and for
the next two hours vas busy making
purchases. As ! returned to the de-
pot ! looked in on the barber to see
how he got along, and found him
hanging dead. Just what would have
happened had he started to shave me
| don't know, but I've always felt
much obliged to the man for putting
the case as plainly as he did"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05
SOCIETY WON EN- IN BUSINESS.
Whose Patronage Is Not
Entirely Desirable.

The society woman has TO make her
first start in business depending upon
her friends patronage and their rec
~ommendation. This may bring a gigan-
tic influx of orders, which means ex-
penditure, but, says the London Mail,
it may all end in long, unpaid accounts
against The good friends who playful
ly warn their young proteges with
Now, you mustn't bother me about my
bill, because ] can recommend YOU TO a
lot of people" The head of one estab-
lishment whispered TO me that she had
nearer 100000 than & 10000 worth of
debts on her books, of which she could
not hope TO get a penny. The friends
who rally round one of these n~ovices
starting In business are found to be of
two classes. There is the friend who
will buy for friendships sake some
thing that she does not want and is
not satisfied with, and there is the
friend who goes TO the dressmaker's,
has everything in the rllce sr~wn to
her. tries on o of t. nents,
and after wasting two f her
friends time departs WI out buying
or ordering even one small article.
This she would not dare 10 do at an or
binary business house, and no one
Knows ii better than herself.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05
German Socialism,.

St. Louis Globe-Democrat: Social
ism, Of course, as understood in Ger
many, is a protest against the repres-
sive legislation and spirit of the gov
eminent parties. Some American
papers compare the socialists of Ger
many to the populists of the United
States. This is grossly unjust to the
socialists. The socialist leaders are
among the most scholarly and practi-
cal men in the empire. The abuses
which they fight are real. Their pro-
gram is far less extreme and subver-
sive than is commonly supposed in
this country. Many Of them are re-
publicans in sentiment, though not
all of them. Their program is not
Utopian. intellectually and morally
the socialists Of Germany stand inn
measurably above the Donnellys,
Wharton Bankers, Aliens, Cyclone Da-
vises and the rest of the American
populists. They are n growing po-
litical sect in nearly every European
country. Wherever they exist they
are the resolute foes of prerogative
and reactionism. This is particularly
true of Germany. Apparently, too,
they are destined to be a powerful fac
tor in the politics of that country, not
withstanding the great number of
parties which exist in it, and the ten
dency and temptation of the parties
on which the government relies to
make combinations against them.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05

Don't talk like that, Valerie" said the
other, her eyes full Of tears. my happi-
ness can't make me indifferent to your un'
happiness"
Valerie turned aside; her bosom heaved.
"Why do you care so mtch" she said.
"You know what I am; you know how lit.
tie / am worth anyone's love-"
"You are not unworthy Of love, Valerie;
you hate the very part you play; you have
not the courage of your intentions"
II know what you mean, Amy; and ID
would be no good il ! had. You are think
ing of-of Colonel Beauregard."
"Yes-forgive me, Valerie"
"There's nothing to forgive; you can only
Judge, like the rest, by what you see. And
yet, after all, ] am q failure. l have not
the courage Of my intentions, you say, or
what seemed my intentions"
"Were they not, valerie' Were you
not. at any rate, consentingi'
(Which is the same thing, isn't ti What
does 1t matter what I intended, or appeared
to intend' There will be m end of 1t all
soon-very soon," she said, clasping her
hands above her head.
''Yalerier' said Amy, startled. "You are
talking very strangely" .
you'll understand me in a few days
time. Don't ask me any more questions.
/ couldn't answer them"
81 must ask one or two, Valerie. An
gela said you had heard from Aston Law
ford"
"Who told herr"
"Lady Elinor. Did he write to renew
his offer, ValerieG"
yes"
"And you-you won't dream Of marrying
himf" said Amy, earnestly.
mo; | won't marry Aston Lawfor5. |
haven't answered his letter, and l don't
mean to-
IL am so glad to hear you say that, Va
lerie. But Mrs. Lan2leyH"
81 have never followed aunt C~onstance's
lead" returned Valerie, coolly, land | am
not likely to begin now. You open your
eyes-mentally ! mean; you think she had
planned, and / have consented. Have II
You will know soon, Amy. But l have
followed my own lead from the beginning,
and | shall follow it to the end"
81 don't understand you, Valerie; you
are talking in enigmas," said Amy, putting
her arms round her friend again. 81 must
try and be patient; but this l know-that
you are not happy"
Never mind, ".said the other, restlessly,
"let mt live in your happiness, Amy; talk
to me about yourself, and your dear old
Hal. When are you going TO be married,
and where will you live? and tell Inc every
thing you can think Of"
So Amy obeyed, and stayed with Valerie
till tea-time, when she was dismissed, Va,
lerie herself having tea sent up TO her; she
would come down to dinner, she said; but
she wanted to be alone for awhile.
And she lay still, in a kind OF dull agony
There was nothing to be d~one-nothing
The miserable misunderstanding must &C
on to the end. How was she to live the
life that lay before her? Truly her life
hitherto had been a failure, though not us
Constance Langley would understand the
word.
And Amy, running down to the drawing
room, greatly d~reading the chat, met Max
Beauregard.
Fairly caught" he said, holding out hi
hand, and smiling at her heightened color
"Why you are not afraid Of me, are you?'
folding the girls hand in both his own.
mo, indeed, not of YOU" she said. 90
wouldn't mind even if you chaffedY'
Continued Next Week.)
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05
An Excellent Combination.

The pleasant method and beneficial
effects of the well known remedy,
SYRUP OF FIGS, manufactured by the
CALIFORNIA Flo SYRUP Co., illustrate
the value of obtaining the liquid laXa-
tive principles of plants known TO be
incidentally laxative and presenting
them in the form most refreshing to the
taste and acceptable to the system. 1t
is the one perfect strengthening laxa-
tive, cleansing the system effectually,
dispelling colds, headaches and fevers
gently yet promptly and enabling m
to overcome habitual constipation per-
m%anently. It's perfect freedom from
every Objectionable quality and sub
stance, and its acting on the kidneys,
liver and bowels, without weakening
or irritating them, make it the ideal
laxative.
In the process of manufacturing figs
are used, as they are pleasant TO the
taste, but the medicinal qualities of the
remedy are obtained from SIENNA and
other aromatic plants, by a method
known to the CALIFORNIA Flo SYRUP
Co. only. In order to get its beneficial
effects and to avoid limitations, please
remember the full name of the Company
printed on the front Of every package.
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO.
SAT FRANCISCO. CAL.
LOUISVILLE, ky. NEW YORK. ". Y.
For sale by all Druggists.-Priee SOC. per bottle
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05
is DEWEY AN OLD MANI
How His Age Compares with That
of Other of The World.

vi ohI0E Va VIZ
Brooklyn Eagle: Admiral Dewey has
lately been calling himself an old man.
and so some of the papers which nave
been commenting on the proposition
to give him a home in Washington have
said hat a man Of his age would prefer
TO live away from the eXcitements OF
the national capital. The fact is mat
the admiral is not old. He has reached
what the naval regulations call the re-
firing age, and his characterization OF
himself as old is, doubtless, the sur
viyal OF an impression which he re-
ceived in his youth that a man did not
go ON the retired list till he had passed
the days of his usefulness and was IN
capacitated for active service.
If Admiral Dewey will recall the age
of many well known and active men he
will cease calling himself old. lie is
only n year older than John Hay, the
secretary of state, who is commonly
regarded as n man just in the fullness
Of his powers. James Bryce and John
Morley are also 60 years old, the same
as Secretary Hay; Grover Cleveland
Whitelaw Reid, Horace Porter, William
Dean Howells, President Angel and
Justices Brewer and Peckham are q
year older, the same age as :he admit
raj. Generals Merritt and Joseph
Wheeler are 81 and SO are Rear Admiral
Sampson and Joseph Chamberlain
Rev. DIR. Lyman Abbott, Bishop Potter,
Andrew Carnegie, John q. Carlisle and
General Shafter are 90, or two years
older. President Eliot, Of Harvard, is
"a, and Chauncey NJ. Depew is 65. EN'
President Harrison, Chief Justice Full
Ter and Justice Harlan are a few
months older than Senator Depew
Andrew ID. White is 66, and so are
Senator Quay and Lord Roberts, of the
British army. President Gilman, oil
Johns Hopkins, is ca; eX-Secretary
Tracy is 6S. There are scores of Other
famous men in the United States anc
Europe who would call Admiral Dewey
still young, for they are from five I,
twenty years older than he. When h'
gets back TO the United States and re
covers from the strain of the RESPONSE
. bility of the last year he will discover
how young he is.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05
ALL THE FAULT OF A FoLplNc.BEp.
The Handsome Young Doctor Loses .
Profitable Patient.

any dear, there's a guilty look in
your eye" remarked the young woman
in the lace and jet bonnet. tell me what
you've been doing now
We'll, for one thing l"o been decid-
ing to become n Christian scientist and
never to sleep in "a foldi g-bed again
while | retain my senses, replied the
girl with the dimplo in her chin.
"Humph; ] didn't expect you to tell
me right ~away-just take your time,
my dear. BY the way, have you sue
ceeded yet in attracting the attention Of
the handsome young doctor across the
way"
81 have, but not in the way / intended
to-. ! was born under an unlucky star;
| once broke a looking glass and l have
an opal ring in my possession, SO | can't
expect much of Fate, but really the last
blow she dealt me was the unkindest
one of all"
Don't trouble yourself to tell me
about it, dear. If it is anything un.
pleasant Grace will give it to me with II
wealth of detail such as you could
never lend it. ] shall call upon her as
soon as leave you. Lovely day, isn't
itP"
Look here, Cora, if you so much as
whisper this to Grace Ill-Ill tell your
husband just how much you paid for the
gown you are now wearing. I'm dy-
ing to tell you all about my misfortune,
however. This Is how it h%appened:
You know I've been dying to meet that
young doctor ever since he moved into
our n~eighboThood, but never could ar
range it. He seems to look upon girls
merely rs anatomical specimens or pos
sible patients, but / just knew If / could
one meet him | could teach him some
thing very different. O,dear, ! wonder
why heaven ever wasted such a pair Of
blue eyes upon himl"
Perhaps he wouldn't be able to
practice his profession if he had none,
dear"
well, our old doctor is off on a brief
vacation and / caught n horrid cold out
skating the other night. Don't look
that way, Cora, l assure you | did"
and she coughed pathetlcally; "the
next morning | was as hoarse as a frog.
Well, perhaps ] wasn't as III as mam-
ma seemed to think after | bad groaned
for her a few times, sill / did feel bad
ly."
$50 you frightened her into sending
for the nearest physician, who happened
to be the blue-eyed one, ehP"
"She sent for him Of her own accord
and then put me to bed. Pretty soon
heard him come in and stop to speak to
mamma in the hall. | hadn't q mirror
within reach so / sprang out of bed tc
see if my hair was all right and to put 9
dab of powder on my nose just as
bounced back l heard mamma saying
Yes, her voice is just the meres'
whisper when, o. Cora"
HE came into the room, blue eyes and
all-wellP"
"When the folding-bed few up with
jerk and closed on me. 1t didn't seen
to me that I screamed very loudly, bu
the people next door sent In to see il any
II was being murdered"
"And the young doctorp"
20, he helped mamma to extricat'
me, and then he remarked dryly: 'Oul
patient seems to have ~miraculously re
covered her voice; il seems that my pro
fessional services are not greatly needed
after ALL Cora Coldsteel, if you dom
stop laughing in that idiotic fashion II
never speak to you again as long as
live!"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05
She made of marriage a mere game OF

She made of marriage q mere game OF
shuttlecock, let love say what 1t would.
II he-Max Beauregard-would not low.
er his colors to her, she would not wear
the willow. Why should shet
The game went on, Max gaining surely
on his opponent, till by-and.by she glanced
up.
mo use going on" she said. II may as
we'll resign. The game is yours"
~ think it is" But he said It coldly.
Valerie looked at him again. covertly this
time, and with a sudden, impetuous move.
inent, swept up the game. There was no
need for that said B~eauregard, coolly,
''since you had resigned"
Valerie leaned back on her cushions, a
little ashamed Of her outbreak, but the fact
was her whole mental atmosphere was
charged with electricity, her nerves were
at a tension that would not bear much
more straining.
Beauregard put the chessmen In their
box and rose.
AZ am sorry I asked you to play, I" he said,
in a changed, a softened manner. II don't
think you were in the mood. Can / fetch
any book for your"
mo, thanks. / was as much in the mood
for chess as for anything else. I am not
good company for anyone just now" she
added, a little confusedly, feeling that
some explanation was required, but assLr.
eddy not making it very happily.
You shall not be troubled with mine,
then, Valerie; but ! don't think you have
much chance of solitude here, If that is
what you wish"
81 didn't mean to be SO rude as Iseemed,
Colonel Beauregard, - said the poor child,
biting her lip hard. II know | can't be
alone, and | don't wish to be either. Ihave
been worried, that's ALL"
~ know 1t, Valerie" said Beauregard,
in q low voice; land l think l know-l
wish"
He stopped. and turned away abruptly,
crushing back the worSs on his tongue.
he must not say them, he had no right TO
say them-and how c>uld he trust himself'
II wish you would be true to your better
nature; cast off the dross, and let the pure
gold come TO the surface"
No; If he spoke like this how much more
might he not sayY And he could not coun.
sci Valerie as n friend, for 1t was not as a
friend he loved her; not rs a friend she re.
garded him.
The girl half OWNED the unuttered
words, and held her breath, trembling in
wardly as she watched Beauregard cross
the room.
He turned back in a minute or two, and
paused by the couch, looking down on the
girl. Her head was dropping; she dared
not raise her eyes to his.
al have no power to help YOU" he said,
after a moments silence, and his voice
shook; lit is too late for that. And per-
haps l may be %wronging you, but II moi
--n
Steps sounded without. Beauregard bent
down and laid his hand OF the bowed gold,
en- head:
"Oh, Valeriel'-what passionate pain
there was in his ~voice-"you cannot blot
out the past, but you might live n noblel
life in the future!'
He vent out through the window on to
the terrace as Angela opened the door and
ran into the room.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05
Twa,n's UncompIimentary Reply.

Philadelphia Evening Post: A new story
of Andrew J. White, ambassador TO Ber-
lin and Mark Twain has just reached
This side. The humorists aversion to the
German language is well known. His dia-
tribe against 1t is a classic. Now, Mr..
White while an excellent German schol-
ar speaks the language with a noticea-
Bile accent. The story hinges on these
points. 1t was at a reception, and Mr..
White. partly in sport, confined his con-
versation with the author wholly to Ger
man.
II am glad to see," interrupted the nov
elist, that you appreciate German"
81 did until / read your abusive article
upon the subject" returned the ambas-
sador. II am now thinking of returning
to English" i.
How grateful the Germans must be-"
was the reply.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05
New York Commercial Advertiser.

New York Commercial Advertiser:
A story is told Of a trick that was once
played on ~Chauncey Depew before a
public gathering. Mr.. Depew was
about to deliver a speech when a large
volume labeled 'Depew's Old Jokes"
with a striking portrait of the author
on the cover, was hoisted at the end
of the table and an assurance was
demanded that none of the supposed
contents would be served up again.
Mr.. Depew, commercially free from
embarrassment, was about to proceed,
when a photograph concealed in a cor
ner of the room-a "babble machine"
as II. G.. Wells calls it in his romance.
"When the Sleeper Wakes poured
out a long string of anecdotes told by
Mr.. Depew, or fathered upon him, for
a considerable number Of years.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05
Rich--Yet Starving.

Doctors frequently have very veal
thy patients who are starving. They
have money to buy food, but their
stomach has not the strength to digest
it. 1t lies there a heavy, fermented
mass, the sole cause of dyspepsia, ner-
vousness and biliousness. The surest
remedy to cure a weak stomach is Hos
tetter's Stomach Bitters.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05
r e o 10 DAYS.

e1D@ BY sending 4 cents in postage
nXf1eN- we will, by return mail, send
NkNAN you a Sample Bottle of our
VI famous Remedy, 80 Drops"
,RipT r,pr for the positive cure of the fol.
lowing diseases: RIIEUMA.
TISM, SCIArlCA, NEURALGIA,
Asthma, Hay Fever, Catarrh, Toothache,
Nervousness, Neuralgia Headache, Heart
Weakness. Earnche, Malaria. Dropsy,
Creeping NumlnrSS. BRONCHITIS and
LA GRll'l.E. Don't fail to avail your
self of this great opportunity, and RE.
MEMBER ii is only for 10 days from
issue Of this paper. Large Bottles 800
doses $l.00. SWANSON RHEUMAT.
&c CURE CO., 1Gc-1G4 L. Lake street,
Chicago, iii.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05
Came Home to Him,

Columbus (O) State Journal: William
son-What do you think Of this newspa-
per story of a woman being hypnotized
by a book agent into subscribing for a
book she didn't want?
henderson, believe every word Of 1t.
/ was just looking over my library yes
terday,
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05
The Man With the Hoe.
"Greater than priests or kings
cafAlnr Ahn N oinn

"Greater than priests or kings
Softly the zephyrs sing,
Evening and morn,
Helping dame nature bring
Growth to the corn.
Look at it! See how clean
Down every row;
Think you he's very green
THE man with a hoe?'
What though his back is bent
Slowly he goes
Fen till the day is spent,
Down through the rows?
Softly the zephyr sings
Let the world know
Greater than priests or kings
THE man with a hoe
Listen, we learned and wise,
Hearken today;
Men of the soil shall rise
Boast not your sway,
List while the zephyr sings
"Let the world know
Greater than prlests or klnes'S
THE nan With a hoe"
IN CT Lyenj IN PES Mplhes News.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05
Ladies Can Wear Shoes

one size smaller after using Aliens Foot.
Ease, a powder 10 be shaken into the shoes,
II makes light or new shoes feel easy; gives
Instant relief 10 corns and buulons. It's the
greatest comfort discovery of the age. Cures
swollen feet, blisters and Gallons spots
Aliens Foot Ease is y certain cure for In
growing nails, sweating, hot. aching feet
At all druggists and shoe stores pc. Trial
package FREE by mail. Address Allen 5.
Clmsted. LeIioy, n. Y,
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05
Mrs. Barnhnrt Enjoys Life Once More

"DEAR Mrs. PINKHAM-I had been
sick ever since my marriage, seven
years ago; have given birth to four
children, and had two miscarriages. 1
had falling of womb, leucorrhea, pains
in back and legs; dyspepsia and a
nervous trembling of the stomach.
Now l have none Of these troubles and
can enjoy my life. Your medicine has
worked wonders for me."-MRs. S.
BARNHART. NEW CASTLE, PA.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05

President Gilman, of Johns Hopkins,
has to do a vast amount of writing and
1T is, he says, a consequence of this
that his hand is the despair of CORE
spondent and typesettersh He die
tates very little, being more at home
with the pen in his own hand.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05
Eyom HRS. Sumter
to Mrs. DmAAam.
LETTER TO MRS. rISxuAM NO. 76,a44l

LETTER TO MRS. PINKuAM NO. 76,a44l
"One year ago last June three doc
tors gave me up to die, and as / had at
different times used your Vegetable
Compound with good results, | had too
much faith in IL to die until l had tried
it again. / was apparently an invalid,
was confined to my bed for ten weeks.
Il believe my trouble was liberation of
womb).
after taking four bottles of the
Compound and using some of the Liver
Pills and Sanative Wash, Mt the end Of
two months I had greatly improved
and weighed 1876 pounds, when ! never
before weighed over 1913. Lydia L.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound is the
best medicine ever used, and l recon-
mend it to all my friends. -MRs. ANNA
EVA GUNTER, HfGGINsvILLE, Mo.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05
Call for Beef Tongue,

st. Paul Globe: If my critics can
point to n thing in my official ca
reer that | have done that / ought not
TO have done, or that | have not done
that | should have done, / shall be
very glad to surrender my present of.
fetal duties.-Russell A. Alger.
Oh, beef, where is thy tongue?
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05
WHY Funston InileI.

Augusta, Ga, Daily Tribune: Fun
ston, of Kansas, could swim rivers,
but he could not climb trees. Funston
failed to catch Aguinaldo and is COM
ing home, and Wheeler is going over
to try the job. Aguinaldo's reign is
nearing its end.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05
Another Chamnion.

indianapolis Journal: What is that
there medal, friend" asked the
sociable barkeep.
81 win that" asked the man who
was leaning against the bar, for beat
in ~r~c-yh~dy ant-hB l~istenin,- tna
piano for thirty-eight hours"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05

The Whitlett, Ga, Courier has this
unique announcement: "When we started
this paper we said, as all editors say,
We are here to stay But, having made
$40, by the blessing Of God, we are now
prepared to move!"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-08-05
Hall'sCatarrh Cure
taken internally. Price rs cents.
accommodating.

Harper's Bazaar: What a very obliging
man the professional at your golf club
Isl said WILDER.
Yes. indeed" said Larrabee. He even
offered to change his name TO Willie If it
would suit us better"