The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-07-06
THELAW'S SENILITY.

how the legal profession clings to absurd
technicalities which have survived their
use if they ever had any, The man
who stands at the door of the Engilsh
parliament house and calls out the oil
rections for the honorable members as
they dispense, is an instance OF old Gus
tom existing long after its occasion has
departed. In the early day members
went home in company so as to be Sc
cure against footpads who were on the
lookout for those who We're unaccom-
panied TIE crier remains sign OF
conditions of the olden past.
Tae law. criminal law particularly, n
and practice in the courts are studded
with anachronisms Circomlocution IN
language 10 an extent that is mystifying
is preserved, with devotion fanatic IN
its intensity, for the sake of lucidity. a
legal document must be accepted for
what it purports to be rather than from
its phraseology which is SO involved, so
burdened 10y repetition and clumsy IN
expression that to gather its sense from
the text is next to impossible, Clearness
is sought through the medium of repeti-
ton, endless reference, ENHANCEMENT,
obscurity. concealment inelegance and
a mass OF verbiage The lawyers gov
into it; the courts approve 1T because
they have been lawyers, and antlquateG
expression and absurd forms are made
the cherished characteristics of profes-
sion which prides itself upon its progress
and erudition
The teacher who would require ex-
actness by the following statement would
be as lucid in his language as "a lawyer
in his: If John had apples and gave
foul OF these apples which he had to
James, how many apples did john have
left if he had only seven to begin with,
that is at the precise moment at which
he gave the aforesaid James the said four
apples, and if subsequent to the giving
of the said four apples to the aforesaid
any person directly or indirectly. or in
any manner add to the number of apples
he, the said John had at the time he gave
the apples to James as hereinbefore
stated nor reduced the number of apples
which he, the said John. had in his pos
session, keeping and charge subsequent
,l.s,F, -, +,.l
between the said John the donor and the
said James the donee. wherein the APP
pies We're then and there transferred from
the said John to the said James, with or
without valuable consideration, the ques-
ton of want of consideration not to af
feet the validity of this transaction. as
affecting the determination of the nnm-
Der of apples in the possession OF the said
James after said transfer, by purchase,
gift theft inheritance or in any other
manner in which property is acquired
legally or otherwise, by the operation of
a tariff, result of trade combinations,
conquest, treaty, barter, spoil, industry
sagacity, toll or any process known in
the heavens above, the earth below or
the waters under the earth, y
That would be "a legal statement to the
small boy with bare shins suffering from
wind cracks The answer no doubt would |
be 'huh?' and fitting one too
Albert Becker the sausage man who |
earned fame by making sausage Of his
wife, had the Indictment against him
nolled Why Simply because the in
dietment stated that the name of the |
woman boiled to pulp was Theresa
when it should be Elizabeth That is |
Dogberry justice. There was no Eliza
beth Becker boiled in vat. There was
a Theresa put through the process of
sublimation and Becker was the master |
of ceremonies at the performance. But |
it does not matter that a woman was
converted into pulp. There is IA mistake
in the name and the substitution of the |
word Elizabeth for Theresa destroys |
all legal presumption that any one was
boiled because Theresa was not boiled. |
The names the thing That's the
whole essence, the act of the brutal hus
band who hacked his wifes body into
pieces put them into pot and boiled all
down to pulp is outweighed by the
clerical error of writing Elizabeth for
Theresa Justice would totter if the
common sense question We're PROFOUND
ed what in hells difference does it
make if she was named Theresa or
Elizabeth The fact remains she was
boiled Call her Mary Jane or Cinder-
ella, but punish the devil who boiled
her
But no The law says he did not boil
Elizabeth and he should not be punished
for a crime he did not commit. And
lawyers will approve and go ON hugging
an absurdity as if il We're a palladium.