Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-10-12
Mr.. DooIey has tn. "Lah Grip"

fifteen parts strong waters,
Whats the matter?" asked Mr.
McKenna, blowing his nose and wip-
ing his eyes. bad cess to it, Oh,
me poor back 1t feels as if dhray
had r-run over it. Did ye iver have
it? Ye did not? Well, yeer lucky.
Ye'er lucky man.
Il wint to McGuire's wake las
week. They give him dacint sind
off. No pother. An himself looked
natural-as fine a corpse as Gavin iver
laid out.
Gavin told me so himself He was
as proud iv Mcclure as if he owned
him; fetched half tn town in to look
at him, and give ivry man iv thin his
ca-ards. He near frightened ol man
Dugan into faint Misther Dugan,
how old a-are ye?' 'Sivinty-fve, thanks
be, says Dugan. Thin, says Gavin,
take wan iv me cs-ards, he says, 1
hope yell not forget me, he says.
" 'Twa. there I got tn lah grip,
Lasteways tbs me opinion iv it, though
tn doctor says swallowed a bug. 1t
don't seem right, Jawn, for tn Nc
Guires is a clane family, but tn doc
tor says bug got into me system.
What sort of bug?' saysf. "A lah
grip bug, he says 'Yez have mick
robes in ye'er lung, he says. What's
thin {? says I. Trims tn lsh grip
bugs, says he. 'Ye took wan in an
warmed it, he says, AN it has grOwed
an multiplied till yeer system does
be full iv thin, he says, millions "
thin, he says, 'ma-archin and coun-
ther-marchin' through ye. GLORY be
to tn saints, says l, Had l betther
swallow some insects powdhre?' l says.
Some iv thin in me head has had
fallin' out AN is THROWN bricks.
Foolish man, says he. GO to bed,
he says, an lave thin alone, he says.
'Whin they find who they're in, he
says, they'll quit ye.'
$50 wint to bed an waited while
tn mickrobes had fun with me. Mon
dah all iv thin was quite but thin in
me stummick. They stayed up late
dhrinkin' an carousin' an dancin
iigs till wurrads come up bechune tn
Kerry micklobes an thin firm Wix-
ford, an tn whole pa-arty wint over
to me lift lung, where they cud get
tn air, an had it out. TIL mex lit
tie mickrobes made toboggan slide
iv me spine, an manetime some mick
robes that was wur-rkin' fr tn tele-
phone comp'n got in their heads that
! me legs was poles, put on spikes an
climbed all night long
"They was tired out tn mex day
till about 5 o'clock, when thin that
was in me head flushed out tn rooms
an knew thre was goin' to be do
in S in the top fat. What did thin
mickrobes in me head do but invite
all tn other mickrobes IN fr tn avnin.
They all come. Oh be gar, they was
not wan iv thin stayed away, At 6
o'clock they begun to move firm me
shins to me thrawt. They came in
platoons an squads an dhroves. Some
iv thin brought along brass bands, an
more than wan hundred thousand iv
thin dhrovs through me pipes IN
dhrays. A throlley line was started
up me back an ivry car r-run into a
wagon-load iv scrap iron at tn base iv
me skull.
9TH mickrobes in me head must've
done thimsilves proud Ivry few
minyits some wan iv tn kids d be
sint out with tn can an I'd say to
mesilf: There they go carryin' tn
thrade to Schwartzmeisters because
In sick an can't wait on thin. |
was daffy, Jawn, dye mind. Tn
likes " me film pitcher fr a little
boy bug Ho! ho Such dhreams.
An they had a game iv forty-fves,
an there was wan mickrobe there that
larned to play tn game in the Coun-
ty Tip-p'rary, where tbs played on
stone, an ivry time he led thrumPs
he'd like to knock me head off.
Who's thrick is that says tn Tip
p'rary mickrobe. Tis mine, says
little red-headed mickrobe firm the
County RoscommOn. They tipped
over tn chairs an tables an in less
time than it takes to tell tn whole
pa-arty was at it. They'd been a
hurlin game in tn back iv me skull
an tn young folks was dancin break
downs an havin' leppin-matches in
me forehead, but they all stopped to
mix in. Oh twas grand shindy-
tin millions iv thin, min, women an
childer, rowlin on tn fure, hands an