The daily morning journal and courier., 1899-05-08
MR. Doo1EY,s BOOK.
A New Haven Writer Describes It's
 PreIlminnrtes.

pares to Write a Book" gives an &C., ] count of the preparation for a noted book which is as witty as the book it. | self, and that is saying much. For the | benefit of our readers who have not seen | the acute and brilliant article we repro | duce it as follows:
 T wants to write book" says MT.
 Dooley to himself; 'I do be deathly sick
 of Writin' for the noosepeppers and tis | no sooner done than 'tis done for, and | the pay sthoppin whilst book is al-
 ways a-sellin', fetchin in money sleepn'
 or wakin'; ye sets yer prare-wheel run
 min, like the haythen in the teepid coun- thries of the East, and the sthream do
 be doin' the rest. And 'tis but the same
 thing sure, as writin' for the noosepep-
 pers-no more thrubble at all at all--ye
 writes a piece or two livery day, and thin ye pastes thim together" says he,
 "and ye has book. The moneys glori-
 ous; fifty thousand copies at dollar
 no, dollar fifty each, and thin all the other additions that'll be called for
 sure one book'll do me we'll" says MT. Dooley, says he, but thin they do say
 that ye cant sthop the writin, wanst
 it's begun, no more'n a fire, less t the
 public turns the hose on. (An' thin
 sometimes it busts; ye gifts yer own headway for a time, despite of 'enh)
 But the rale object is the batin' livery
 other book, and dhrawin' the biggest
 name an glory in the world onto yer
 self The book that sthands in the top
 says he, lis the Bible, an there's small
 likeness yell beat it out on it's own
 grounds" says he to himself ESQ go to
 the appisit exthrame and make it the
 biggest difference ye can; let it exalteth
 the proud and thrample down the low
 ly," says he, land so that away, till yell
 hit it off be comin round to the ither
 end of it just the same.
 ''But to get the biggest name do both
 CT me. Some folks writes the book fur
 rust and gets the rippitation later, but
 that 'ud niver do for me-" says he, Tit
 misgives me I'd miss it that way. I'll lay hold of the rippitation furrust and
 thin I cud sell the book hundther times
 betther. Cud I get but some grandee to underrite for me. so that whin I say I'm
 famous. over me own signature, they's
 believe it, 'twould fix it! Who is the biggest man, to lay his name along in
 betuxt mine here and there, to read more historical like? I'm no Chinaman," says Mir. Dooley, says he, "to put in Confusions," says he. 'Twould be bad omin for the shtart, too, morebetoken. Imp roar Villain-Dry-fuss- -Cavair- there's millions of 'em. famous ones, but me head is packed that tight wid 'em that I can't pick 'em out. Well-give 'em all the boby-they're a herd of fur riners, that's all. George Washington's good enough for me And them that'll read me book is most likely the edgey- katid, so they's heard of him. And if so be that his name isn't shtrong enough to bear up struchture so mitey as me book, then let them go down gloriously together" says MT. Dooey, and I'll have no aspeeratons beyant me coun- thries veal; for I'm thru Pat riot says he. And I cud prove 1t, if so be had the chance; (war an fightins no chance" says he. they're but mis- chance.') So then I takes George Washington into company, and furrust l must begin be hirin some fello'-littery- turr (not so sharp as meself be an edge or two) to make parody of me writins before I shtart or twill be work lost, for no man can be great till he gets his immytates to workin,' says he An thin kape 'em we'll a-workin'," says he, If so be ye has to immploy an overseer, and thin the night-help to spell him.
 But the next thing is to thry for writin the first airtickkle," says he; that's the worst of it, but ye can't shkip that part-i's indlshpinsibull," says he, "and the Pope himself cuddent dishpinse ye from it, if ye want to have the book, more's the pity, for I don't know at all what I'd be wishin to tay, barrin' the general anne. Me general anne is good,' says he, but when ye come to talk of hittin' the bullzi, ye must have practice.
 ''Me anne, then, in general, is mostly to be twin to George Washington in fame | an glory So I cuddent begin be hidin' me own name in private, as me muddes- ty wud dctait. Down wid diktators, No; I have a plahn. People l must get used to seen' you many's the time in good company before they'll be- lieve word of it. So I puts him on the | title page, and on all the tops, and thin I divides up the book into sections, | (same as when we wurrucked on the road) and in livery section I prints up f Mike Dooley, section '--no--away wid Chicago manners-Tll be more pa Iite-I'U write it MT. Dooley'-never mind the boss. Lave lem find that out . sure enough, whin they reads-Ill do that same. 'Tis fixed apawn!
 But maybe some of 'em 'ud pass it by too swift, not readin' careful enough, oelil1e, and so be the same token I'll make the sections very shmall indeed" says he. And I'll print MT. Dooley in every one--that is, in livery second line, md thin, if the anne do be growth more famous, thin I'll print it in livery line; twill inhanse the value and maybe sell 1igher," says he. "Leastways they gets nore for their money that buys it, for I'm no skinfint," says he, Ito keep back part O the value.
 "But thin how to fill up betwixt? I lave to think upon that. Mayhap I'll work in what I'll hear somebody sayin; he fruits of observation they calls that. )r belike I'll put down something I'll zee. I think I'll go out now and take a lhrink in some other body's saloon, nayhap I'd pick up his idea along wid it. O put in. Or mayhap somewhat would ccur to me, though there's not much hats up to me level here in Chicago; tis low-life intirely," says he, 'wid the ,1eben rich mixed in 1t and a-thryin' to