Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1899-01-21
THE FLYING DOORS
AT THE POSTOFFICE'

The front of our postoffice is ornament
ed by two square wooden boxes, fitting
flush against the two main entrances.
Some call these c-ontrivances storm
DOORS An architect might call them
flying vestibules."
These doors are equipped on each side
witt doors that are reversible in move
ment, that is, they open both out and in.
Leading into the postoff.ce proper are two
more doors which act in the same manner.
There are two doors in each vestibule, and
the two opening into the office make four.
Hence the patron when going TO or from
the postoffice, when he forces his way
into the v~estibule, is confronted by four
doors, often moving in all directions at
the. same time-all this, too, in a very
small space. He is confused and slightly
bewildered, but there is no time for re
flection-if he pauses he will be knocked
back into the postoffice or knocked out
on the pavement. OF course this is during
the hours of ordinary traffic-in the silent
night time he might be able to steal in and
mail his postal card with but little danger.
But to go through this series of flying
doors at reasonably busy hours is like
shooting the chutes." 1t also reminds
you of running the gauntlet. and you
think of rows of Indians and swinging
war clubs.
When you notice a fellow button his
coat and resolutely wade into these way
ing doors, his hands darling quickly back
and forth, to ward off this door and to
open that one. you can scarcely keep from
thinking that he is in the prize ~ring-that
he is making a Sullivan rush on his an
tagonist, e-ndeavoring to beat him back
into his corner. OF course this illusion 5
lost when you see him VIGOROUSLY emerge
on the inside and with a look of just
pride, march up and purchase his stamps.
On his exit his pantomimic pugilistic en-
counter is repeated.
The person is very unfortunate who
gets in the vestibule at the same time
that another is entering from the other
side and another coming from the office.
He reaches for the main door-biff! the
other door opens and he gets a body blow.
He steps ~back-bang, The side door lands
another body blow. Realizing his position
he clinches his teeth and desperately
forces his way in or out-then says a few
soft words, smoothes the dents and dinges
of his hat and goes merrily about his
business.
A few evenings ago a diminutive jovial
gentleman, who had evidently been doc
toring his grip with the old reliable
remedy, started into the postoffice. A
friend with him waited on the outside.
The little fellow had no sooner entered
t~han-whack! one main door opened and
striking him about amidships, he toppled
against the side doors, which of course,
being reversible, let him fall out on the
other side of the vestibule, minus his hat.
It's a foul, a dirty foul" he shouted. as
he scrambled to his feet. His friend ran
to his assistance and enquired the cause
of the trouble
when l went in the box, I was no more
than in, when some one pasted me an up
per cut-yis, an he uppercut me below
the belt. An | didn't even see the bloody
pugilist, whin crack, he swiped me wild a
club-and where's me hate
Just then another sweep of the door
brushed his hat out.
me hat OUT"
Several persons had assembled around
the pair by his time, and one en-
quired, Did you want to get some
stamps?"
mo, l didn't want no stamps" said the
little fellow, what l want is stickin'
plaster, then I'm goin' to get a base ball
bat and l will lay for that son-of-a-gun
in that box He wiped the blood from
his nose. and then the two friends went
up the street. B. JONES.