Evening star., 1899-03-18
HOW A NAN KEPT. HOUSE

This young man had never told his wife
that he had DONE five-year stunt in the
regular ARMY OF the United States. With
out any particulars reason for it, some men
feel bit shy about mentioning their serv-
ice in the raguiaH Perhaps the fact that.
up to about ten Years ago, the army was
looked upon the last resource of the
ne er-do-well may have something TO do
with 1t. Anyhow this young War Depart
ment clerk didn't happen to mention it to
the girl when he Dame along here a couple
OF years ago and courted and married her
that he had spent almost a five-year stretch
among the yellow, bbasted-looking noun
taans of Arizona, helping his troop to hunt
Tor the elusive Apache Kid. He told her
that he had been jamming around down
IN the southwest, and he told the truth, for
II hunting THAT red devil of an Apache
wasn't Jamming around the southwest then
nothing is She considered it odd that he
hhe" SO much about soldering, that he
went around the house on Sunday mornings
idiy Whistling the trumpet calls, and that
ne knew how to spiel Indian talk that In
dfans understood. Of course, she never
stopped to wonder over his habit of going
down sta4rways sideways. She never
thought of him as a soldier, and so she
could not know that all men who have been
caVaffyamen invaEiably go down stairs side
ways LOT the remainder of their lives. 1t
Is a habit born of their service fear of
tripping themselves on stairs with their
spurs.
Ihey Keep house in a pretty little place
OUT IN Mount Pleasant. They have had
considerable difficulty in keeping serv-
ant, as good many Mount Pleasant folks
do. Their last servant wearied of the
lonesomeness' ssere evening last week,
packed up the things that belonged to her
and probably few things that did not be-
long 10 her, IN accordance with the rule
app1 IaaoNnr Tod ~,
that she was not to return. The young
wife wept disnally after the servant s de-
paIture, and her husband, syGnpat thizing
Wlth mis- Wife's red nose, endeavored to as
suage her grief.
Let 'er go" said he "I'M stay home
from the office tomorrow and you can
btndie OF bright and early and get an
other one. Don't rush yourself to death
over it, either. 1 can run this shack for
one day, guess"
But If / am away after the noon hour
what will you do for your lunch, you poor
old monkey thing?" she asked him. solic-
boously affectionate
Never you mind me- he said. ''Tll get
along. You watch me-"
SO, on the following morning, directly
after breakfast, the young wife, with many
forebodlngs as to the rack and ruin she
would ind, and not a bit of her work done,
when she returned, set out for the down
town district to beg, borrow or steal
house servant.
"Itll be give-away, all right" mur-
INJURED her husband to himself after she
went, but III do it all the same"
So he set to work. First he washed the
dishes. Soldiers of the regular army of the
United States wash dishes with a practced
skill and thoroughness such as few wo-
men, With all due consideration, exhibit
He made nice job of the dish washing
and then he took a pair of shears and cut
a lot of scalloped borders out of old news
papers for the china closet. Then he put
the dishWaN away all neat and orderly.
Inen he staftsdfi in at that kitchen. He pol
lshed the stove first, that the kitchen
cat raised her back at her own image in it.
linen ne got at the pans, pots, skillets and
so on and matte them look like new. Then
he swept outline Kitchen, after which he
got down on has marrow bones and gave it
the most businessriike scrubbng it had
ever had-a military scrubbing. Thus the
kitchen was dfl fixed.
Then he went UPSTAIRS to their room ana
made the bedG A 4nan who has made up
his bunk in quarters in the United States
army for any spaCH of time doesn't need 10
get any pointers ffdm the women folks as to
now that job2 ShGMld be done. Then he
sprinkled tea leaves around and swept the
whole upstairs portion of the house after
which he busted 1t thoroughly. Then he
descended the eJstaies and began the policing
of the dining rpoIng sitting room and parlor
He changed the furniture all about changed
the location of some of the pictures adyan-
tageousiy, gavBctfle piantj a better position
and cleaned ,and3 3swabbed the whole outfit
until 1t looked as If half a dozen (brdihary
servants had been policing it.
Lunch hour had rolled around by this
time, ana 50 he went to the kitchen. neatly
fried himself some bacon and eggs and
made himself cup of coffee on the gas
stove. after which he cleaned up the dishes
he had used and smoked a couple of pines
full of tobacco and reflected. He had ex-
pected his wife back by that CINE, but she
didn't come. He began to think of how
hS
ner them and SO he decided to get the din
ner himself. He put on his coat and went
out to the market to buy the dinner He
picked out fine, thick steak and the
the marketman with his workmanlike man
ner of buying. Heretofore, he had simply
been the bill payer at the market store.
he had a fine dinner a-going by half after
j. He knew that his wife would not be
gone later than 4 O'clock, SO at a quarter
To 4 he put the steak on to broil Then he
set the table with whole lot of neatness,
not forgetting the bunch of flowers that he
had bought at the market for the purpose
of adorning the table.
His wife walked IN, weary, foot-sore and
raVenous, at two minutes past 4 o'clock.
She paused at the threshold and looked
about her. The hall had been policed with
great thoroughness and she could not un-
derstand.' Then she walked into the par
lor. ELer face assumed a dazed expression
why Jack" she said "have you en-
gagged servant yourself?'
Nope" he replied. Just been passing
the time myself bit, that's all"
When she saw the set dining room, the
spotess and shining kitchen with its gls-
tening utensils, the broiling steak and when
she went upstairs and saw the miracle that
had been wrought there too, she simply
sat down in a rocking chair and stared at
her husband. She was able to speak after
a while, and then she inquired:
But where did you learn to do it aIl?"
He grinned. and went to little old trunk
of his that was slowed away in the spare
room. He dug into this for a while. and
then he brought out parchment paper
He took it over to his wife and handed
it to her. 1t was an army discharge The
space otter the word Character was filed
in with the word excellent" There was
an Endorsement at the bottom of the dis
charge. signed by the colonel of the regi-
ment, saying: This man Is a fine soldier,
both in garrison and camp"
81 had to take my turn as cook of my
outfit YOU know he said after awhile,
'tand all of us have got to know how to
police up and keep things clean"
"But why did you never tell me you were
a soldier? Don't YOU know I perfectly adore
and idolize soldaers?" she asked him, and
he could only grin, and look sheepish.