Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1899-02-09

Sues want TO git out, he SAYS. An he
TOOK some other la-ads--I f'rget their
names-~they wasn't heroes. annyhow,
out was wurrkin' be tn day--~an' he
Went IN in his underelothcs. SOS not
TO spoil his suit, an tn CASTLES hurled
death an destruction on him an il
niNer touched him no more thin Ii aid
amy wan else, an thin they rescued
him frm himself an locked him up In
IN polls station an fed him tn best
thes knew how, an he wlnt on lee
teher tour an here he is. Be nivlnS,
think he's moro iv 4 hero now than
liver he was. Id stan UP beSurr n
cross-eyed Spanish gunner an take his
shootin without u mask mosilf. but
Id shy hard ~ amy OF heifer come
up an begun t nose around " me.
On tn tlnre iv tho Merrimae. in his
light undhcrclothes. Loot Hobson was
a sthr0ng, foolish man On tn stage
" the AudHtoroom. Jein' eareSsed be
wtmen that'd kiss tn mnn In tr~ront
iV see gar sthore ii he didn't carry
a tontmyhawk. he's still foolish, but
not Sthrong. Ills ST. with all heroes.
Napoleon Bonypart, the impror IL III
tr-rinch, had many carlYin's on, I've
heerd tell, an ivry man knows that
Mhin lawn sullivan wasn't IN the
FIRING he was no encyclopedia f'r in-
telligenee, No wan thricd 10 kiss him.
though, They knew betthor.
An Hohsonll larn. He's young
yet, the Loot is, an he's goiu' out 10
tn Ph'lippeens To wurruk f'r Cousin
George. Cousin George is no nero, an
tiSn't on record that amy wan liver
thrled to Scandaliae his good name be
kissin him. Ia as lave, il was a
foolish woman, which. thanks be, I'm
not, hug Whitehead torpedo as CouS-
i'll George. He'll be settIn' up ON III
roof ~ his boat Smokin' good see
gar, an wondhrin' how nanny " tn
babies named afther him'll be In tn
pinitinchry be tn time he gets back
home. Up comes me br.rave Hobson
Who ar-re We, dtsturhin' me quite?
says Cousin George. I'm hero
says the loot 'Ar-re ye, faith?' says
Cousin George. Well, he says, !
can't do anything fr We in that line,
he says, All tn hero jobs on this
boat. he says, is completely filled, he
says, lie mesilf he says, l like 10
see tn wurruk we'll done he says,
so, he says, i don't thrust 1t to amy
wan he says. With tn aio ~ a
small hoy who can shovel more love
letthors an pothry overheard than
amy wan | ever see, he says, I'm
able to clane up me hero business %
fure noon iyry day. he says What's
io're name he says. Hobson, says
the loot Niver hCcrd il ye,' says
Cousin George. 'Whctc'd We wurruk
last?' Why, says the loot, I'm tn
man that sunk TIL ship he says, an
I've been kissed be hundreds " wo-
men at home. he says, Is that so"
says Cousin George. Well, don't be
liove in sinliin' me own ship he says,
'Whiu I'm lookin' fr a diNarsion "
that kind | sink somebody else's, he
says. "Tis cheaper, As FIR tn other
thing he says, tn less We say about
that tn hctther he says. II some "
these beauchious phlippeen bellies at
round here hears, he says. that ye're
In that line, they may call on We to
give We a chaste salute. he says, an,
he says, 'f'rget,' he says, to take tn
see-gars out Nv their mouths, he says,
'Ye destroyed a lot Nv coal, ye tell
me-, he says. DO ye, he says, go
down stairs now an shovel up ton
or two Nv It,, he says. 'Afthcr which,
he says we can roll kag " beer into
me bedroom, he says, 'f'r It's dhry
wurruk settin up here watchin expan-
sion expand, he says.
That's what Cousin George'l say
to In Loot. An whin tn Loot comes
back he won't be hero amy more,
an If amy woman thrcs to kiss him
he'll climb a three Cousin George'll
make a man Nv him. Ills kicks, not
kisses, that makes men heroes"
We'll, maybe ye're fright" said Mr.,
Hcnnessy. Hes nawthln but n kid
anyhow no older than my Oldest
boy, an ! know what fool he'd be II
amy wan asst him to be more " a fool
thin he is. Hobson'l be famous, no
matther what foolish things he does. "
Il dnnaw," said Mr.. Dooley. ut
was headed f'r him, but I'm afraid, as
the bullyard players d say. flames
been kissed off. Chicago Journal.