The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1899-01-21
A MOCK BURGLAR.

Personally" said Belts, referring to
the subscription fancy dress dance in aid
of the Woplington Mission to Inebriates-
personally, / shall go as a burglar"
"Oh, dol" said Tamplin. "Or go as the
Duke of wellington. You'd look about
as much like one as you would like the
other"
The difference between Belts and Tam
plin was largely based Oh a social question.
Both were young, married, suburban,
moral, but neither was quite sure that the
other belonged to a class from which, as a
matter of fact, both were 100 miles away.
Belts would say, "But do Q think
Tamplin-a good fellow, nc doubts
quite good form?'' And, changing the
name to Belts, Tamplin would put the
same question.
They spoke when they met, and always
unpleasantly. There was nothing in the
present occasion to cause the social ques-
ton to rankle. Both were free to go to
the dance. The charity of a subscription
dance is very, very wide. 1t is trying to
cover the largest possible multitude of
subscriptions all the time, and it general
ly does it. Nor could Belts have seen
that the histrionic difficulty was involved
either.
But Tamplin had an idea. And about
ibis time Tamplin took to standing ap-
parently unmeaning drinks to Bilson.
Now, Bilson was in the greepgrocery and
occasionally added a glory to a local lii
ner by waiting at it, and was to have the
charge of the cloakroom at the subscrip-
tion dance in aid of the Woplington Mis-
sion to Inebriates.
And in course of time Belts arrayed
himself as a burglar. His disguise had
been the subject of much thought, both
on the part of himself and of Mrs. Belts.
Originally, Mrs. Belts had intended to go
as Queen Boadicea. A flood of bright his
toricaI light deferred her from that char
acter, and finally an acute attack of hay
fever kept her from the dance altogether.
But James was to take the latchkey in the
ticket pocket of his overcoat, and she was
sure she hoped he would enjoy himself
and not wake her on his return. And
Belts did enjoy himself. He was COM
plimented on the complete accuracy of his
costume by many kindly people. At l
O'Clock in the morning he was feeling
good all over. At 2 O'Clock he decided to
end one of the most enjoyable evenings
of his life and go home. In the cloakroom
his coat was ready in a moment. Outside,
his cab drove up at once, and the driver,
though drunk, was not nearly SO drunk as
Belts, with every good reason, had ex-
pected.
Luck in my way" he said to himself
as he drove off.
But when he reached home he was by
no means SO sure that luck was in his
way, for he felt in the ticket pocket of his
overcoat, and the key was not there. He
was perfectly certain that he had put it
there when he went out, and the only pos
sible~ superstition was that Bilson, by care
lessly handling the overcoat, had allowed
the key to fall out. Well, there were sew
eral courses open to MIR. Belts. He could
throw up a handful of stones against the
window of the room occupied by Mrs.
Belts and bring her down to open the
door to him. This he thought of, but with
a shudder, and put it by as impossible.
Mrs. Belts did not like being awakened
at Q in the morning. He might have
waited yet a few hours and have got in
with the milk, but Mrs. Belts WAS a curl
Gus who asked many ques-
tions and rarely believed in any
Or he might nave returned and searched
for his key In the cloakroom, out this
would nave involved a considerable
amount of chaff. No, he could not go
back. He walked around the house twice,
like q lonely nocturnal cat, but all the
windows on the ground floor were fas-
tened, and there were shutters behind
them. The walls were just as solid as
when he had LIT them earlier that night.
He stepped back a little from the house
and looked up. Joyl The window of the
bathroom on the ground floor had, very
carelessly, been left open. He would GER
tainly reprimand Susannah severely for
this neglect of her duty, but in the mean
time be would avail himself of it. There
was a ladder at the other end of the gar
den. The window was out of sight of the
road. Once more fortune seemed to smile.
1t struck him as a humorous thing that
not only at the dance but also in the man
ner of his return, he should keep up his
burglarious character. AS he placed the
ladder in position the hulnor appeared to
him so strongly that he laughed aloud.
Then somebody slapped him on the
back, and he stopped laughing, and for
tunes smile was once more obscured.
He started, dropped his jimmy, and
turned around. A man stood there, at
tired, so far as Belts could judge, in the
dim light, in a tightly-buttoned blue serge
suit and a brown felt hat.
" 'Ello, maty!" he said in a husky
voice. you're in luck tonight Amt I
comm in on it?"
"What do you mean?" said Belts indig-
nantly. what business have you got
here?n
s.Cheese itl' said the serge man.
sWbat's tho use? My business is the
same as yours"
81 will haze you know" said Belts
with dignity, that / I'm the master of
this house"
"Do drop it, +" said the other. Don't
make me laugh out loud when a copper
may be passing down the road any min
ute. You look like the master of the house,
don't YOU. with them silver forks stickiaS
oa5 OF your poeKeJ II pnau goiu watch
chair hanging down your leg? Getting in
at the open window with a ladder at 3 in
the morning looks like the master of the
house, don't it? Now, see, l don't ask
what cribs you've just cracked, nor l
don't ask 5ou to go shares in the swag,
people about whose disagreeing thore Is
some shadow of doubt.
He Observation-Disclosures, for In
stance?
TDead silence.
She Ito herself)-The dog in the manager
~ /, Of that 7 a9n pocitiva M