Mexico weekly ledger., 1899-06-15
CHAMP gLARKS LETTER
Republicans Need an Ant
Exterminator.
WANTED IN PHILIPPINES
Bad News For Hugh Hanna's
National Bank Ring.
WANTED IN PHILIPPINES
INSECTS DEVOuR PAPER HOEEY.

Beeaier. and Jehbers ssem nj Last
60 Have Rsn Up AEalass samethIae
which they cAnnea Cenfrel-Fighs
Fer Reeds shees-Many Candidates
In IN Fsela-How Hopkins Turnea
fAe f~zEh en- dee wAseIer.
Especial Washington Lasterl
What the Mckinley administration
is in surest need Of Is an ant extermi-
nator. The mar who can furnish one TO
do the work aEectuaEly win deserve 10
be premier duke in Marx HAnna's peer
age when the nobility Of the new en-
rire is established. and win pile up
fortune that win pat to hlush the one
which Colonel Sellers saw in the future
sales Of his eelehrated eye aalye The
illustrious colonel proposed 20 pile up
his dueats in Asia. where. 80 be alleged.
everybody had sore eyes Byia strange
and happy coincidence 1t is also in
Asia that the patentse OF the ant en-
terminator win rake in the ehekeIs-
that portion of Asia. fer the most
worthless Of quitclaim deeds 10 which
we paid So. 000. 600 A recent dispatch
conveys to rs this melancholy intelli-
gence.
Paper money cannot be used in the Phil.
ippines- The islands are infested with
ants which eat almost everything and
are particularly fond Of paper. In a re-
cent shipment OF money for the troops
was N.o0.eoo in paper money Of xsaall de-
nominations. and preparations were being
made 70 send mere paper IN the next ship
ment when a warning was given that
hereafter nothing bat gold and silver coin
must be sent to the islands. 1t was stated
that ants got into the boxes and attacked
the packages OF hnis. which were saved
from destruction only by the greatest
sare.
Had For National Bank Ring.
There you are. 'sThe islands are in
Tested wish ants. which eat almost ey-
erything and are particularly fond of
paper" How Hugh Il. Hanna's ma
tional bank ring win cuss when they
rad that. for. were not those islands
annexed BY purchase for the express
purpose inter ALA of furnishing that
precious gang Of patriots for revenue
only a larger field in which to loan out
the currency which the government
losns to them without INTEREST," And
how the exuberant jingoes will swear
at the Manila press censor who permit
ted that ugly fact 60 slip into the dis
patches. 1t really appears that the boo
dlers adventures and jobbers have at
last run up against something which
they cannot control-and that some
thing is great fact in nature-name-
", that the Philippines s'are infested
with ants which eat almost every
thing" / am neither the spiritual MOI
legal adviser Of Mark Hanna and his
plHndering crew. But in their search
for q Philippine ant sxterminator /
make bold to suggest that they induce
Mr.. Secretary Alger to send to the in
fected districts a quantum suficit Of
the embalmed beef, which General
Eagan said he would make our soldiers
eat, nolens yolens. II that beef does not
exterminafe the pestiferoue and omniy-
orous ants. than the case IL hopeless.
But what becomes Of our new Philip
pine paradise, for. haven't we all been
assured that we had secured a paradise
here on earth. where every prospect
pleases and only man Is vilef
Seriously. o my countrymen. are
we notpsying too dearly for the whistle
when W. send cur boys. the very flower
Of The land. in an endless procession 70
die in the conquest Of faraway Islands,
80 untitled for cur civilization, habits
and institutions that even paper money
cannot be usedf The ants "eat almost
everything and are particularly fond of
paper" What an awful blow that win
be 10 the $50 editors of The Congress
sional Record. As soon as congress
meets / win, as in duty bound, offer a
resolution to print a special edition of
that great daily on sheets Of iron, steel,
copper. zinc or brass for the delecta-
tion Of cur yellow bellied fellow citi-
zens of the Philippines, who are our
fellow citizens By right of purchase at
the low figure Of s. per head, OF ~
cents per pound. unless peradventure,
/ should discover in the meantime that
these Philippine ants eat iron, steel
copper, zinc or brass
Perhaps, with an eye of prophecy,
King Solomon was thinking of cur new
Asiatic empire when he conjured the
sluggard to observe the ant and be wise.
Republican Retsenness In ohio.
The following editorial from the Gin
etnaati Commercial Tribune, Republic
an organ. Shows the utter r~ottenness of
Republican politics In Ohio.
Announcement h made In official way
by the chairman that for two hours to- /
morrow afternoon the Republican COM
mittee Of Hamilton county named to Sc
lect delegates to the Columbus conyen- /
ton will meet TO receive recommends
tons for appointment as such delegates
By way Of adding Insult 10 injury there /
Is appended this invfdious invitation:
loyal Republicans who will commit them |
selves to the Republican cause are Invited
TO attend"
What 4 farcieal proceeding Is this gra- |
tuitoUs juggIe with popular intelligence! |
Does George B.. Cox imagine for q mo-
ment that this pretense at eznvassfnE
public opinion deeaives the most simple? |
1t i the outrage of braxen efTruntefy add |
ed 70 the outrage Of foFcibts ~usurpatIon
af tha uannsafa an4ra~a t - fu-ek.~-u |