West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1899-12-14
IN HIS SEARCH FOR TRUTH
Mr.. Brooasedge Inquiries Into Amcri.
can History He Runs Across n New
Version OF the Story OF the Immor.
tai George and His Hatchet

American people have been told
that the Father of his Country.
whom q boy, tried the edge Of his
new Ratchet on cherry tree In
his fathers yard. The old folks
were gone to church. When the
head of the family returned, and
saw the scene OF destruction, he
uttered short but fervid grafton.
composed chiefly of interjectlons,
and looked around for his carriage
whip to shake out the extra dust
from Georges trousers.
But George knew the old gentle.
man. He drew down his face
until it was as long and narrow as
the Ratchet handle itsel::, elevated
his eyebrows until they ran into
his hair, and delivered himself
thusly: "Daddy, l can't tell "a
lie. Decd l can't. It's against
the principles you have so assidu-
ously instilled into me. / caused
the cherry tree to assume a recum-
bent position with the edge of the
little Ratchet you gave me. Boo
hoo hoo" And the tears ran
down his dirty face like droops of
rain down "A rusty shovel blade.
Then the wrinkles vanished from
the old mans face like unto grass
hoppers from before starved tur.
key gobbler. "Spoken like chip
OF the old block" he shouted.
"George, my boy, you're all
hunky." And the fond father
wrapped his arms around the boy
az boa constructor throws his
coils around calf.
This story is very pretty and
pathetic, bat the trouble is, it is
not fast color. 1t will neither
hold water nor stand washing. A
musty letter, found at the bottom
OF a musty trunk, affords the
materials for the following account:
George was sitting in the open
Kitchen door and his mother asked
him to climb a certain cherry tree
and pick gallon of fruit.
"I'm tired" whined the boy.
"'ll take the tired out of
you," said Mrs. w. you've
been running about ever since
breakfast with the neigh
oor's boys and dogs. try
ing to catch woodchuck, when
you might have been doing some
chores. You are never too tired
to tie tin can to dogs tail or
throw nestful of rotten eggs at a
calf in the pasture. Now 90 pick
those cherries, or I'll knock YOU
plumb through the side of the
house. I'll have no lazy kids
round me-"
George got up as though every
Joint were full of rheumatism. took
the pail and went out. Presently
his monisr heard it drop, and she
went through the door immediately.
II not sooner, and caught him be-
fore he was ten yards away.
"You needn't go to showing off
you temper" she said. "You 90
pick those cherries, or I'll pound
you till you're black and blue"
The cherry tree was behind the
barn. The cherries we're few and
were on the extreme ends of the
upper limbs. Moreover, they
were sour.
George looked, and the more he
looked, the less he felt inclined to
go up the tree. His face was sourer
than the cherries themselves. If
he had looked into a pan of milk
just then, it would have turned
into slabber in ten seconds. He
went into the barn, got the corn
knife, and went to hacking at the
tree until he had broken the knife.
His mother now came around the
corner with single in the hand.
and after administering sound
spanking, she exclaimed
Now you money up that tree.
aud II you don't have the pail
filled in less time than it takes
COW to switch her tail ten times.
III give you another when Won
come down"
George suddenly found out il.
was no trouble al all to climb out
on the limbs ond pick the cherries.
And when HE father came home.
M whslsd him again for breaking
Tho aora kpffo