The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1899-09-08
- or INK nEADsI mi NAN



xdue.stou Of philosopher by He~er
! Of marble
There are tricks In all trades nut
| ours" said the broker who had just
! finished a Wall street story.
well. I don't know" replied the PHI
! losopher. rsminiscently. Were you
ever in the maidstone business"
The headstone business! Never
heard Of Il, unless you mean marble
cutting"
There Is a great difference. One Is
, q trade: the other Is q science. The
tricks. When I was out Of my appren-
I sceship. I tramped West through New
! York state. At East Aurora / came TO
. a marble yard where a man was cutting
| inscriptions or headstones- / was
| somewhat hysterical from fatigue and
leaned over the fence and ATE
! him. I told him things about his work
that must have surprised him. Among
| other things / said / could do Ii much
better thar he could. He ooked at NE
! curiousiy. but without speaking for
awhile; then he laid down his tools.
took of his apron. and said quietly:
well, climb over here and do IL.
then
That man was q mindreader. He IS
a rich man today. He-had sized me up.
OF course / could not back down, SO /
Jumped over and went TO work, while
he sat down and said plying things
about the result l soon found l was
turning my own grindstone TO sharpen
the strangers ak, like the little boy IN
the McGufy school reader. and IL would
have served me right IL in the end he
had told me TO go about my business
but, as / say, he was a mindreader.
and he ended by engaging me to work
for him. II was then / learned the
tricks OF the maidstone business.
That man used TO make quarterly
trips around the country in a buggy.
He took with him samples OF stone, n
book or inscriptions, and a blarneylng
tongue that brought him work enough
Id keep the yard going for three months.
He was in with the doctors and
undertakers. and he was apparently h
most heartbroken mourner at every
funeral for miles around. To the Pro-
testant minister he was a stanc Chris
tian Endeavorer, while to the Catholic
priest he took of his hat, addressed
him as Father and spoke in the sweet
est reverential tones. j never really
knew his religion was, but he got
the trade OF both churches. 1t was a
treat to see him conduct a sale.
"A countrywoman would drive up TO
NAAI y AAo ~ 1et - tsAtS%@s AAN
would size her up instantly. What did
she want? A monument? Just SO. He
had what she wanted exactly. She vas
Mrs. Smith. OF Joshtown. Yes, he knew
her. He had sold Mrs. Jones. OF that
! place, a not long before. a
little thing, such as the one he kicked
contemptuously with his foot oh, yes,
but she would want a much larger and
finer one. He would end by selling her
a stone big enough TO top the grave
Of the village magnate. He always put
the highest price On the cheapest stone,
while the most expensive stone he quot
| ed sneering1y far down on the list. Nat
ural pride thus prevented most OF his
J customers from taking the finest stones
at cut rates, so that his profits always
were great. When his customer had
ordered the shaft, he would ask what
kind Of base she wanted. This always
surprised the customer, who would
want To know If the base was not in
Guided in the price. 1t was not. by any
means. So he would get an extra profit
on the base. Then he would ask what
kind of subbase she wanted, at which
there would be more dickering. This
! surprise in its turn would be heighten-
! ed when a foundation was mentioned.
} This generally would bring matters 10
a climax, but / believe he would have
| found things to charge for beneath the
| foundation, If he could have had any
! excuse for doing so. Sometimes, IL the
priest or the minister had recommend
ed her, he would co~ndescendingly erect
the stone fo- nothing, but not often.
and II the customer was particnlCr..
easy he would charge for polishing md
other things of like nature. Again. II
he had a particularly closefsted old
J farmer to deal with, and knew before
: hand, he would mention all these ac-
cessories, with their prices, at once, and
/ then gracefully give them away for the
cost Of the shaft alone. You see, It
was the contrast between his h
method and the serious character Of his
business that appealed to me so strong
ly.
Il stayed with him six months, and
then, when l found L was doing q four
neyman's work for half a journeyman's
pay, / concluded I had turned his grind
I stone long enough. So / left. Once
only did l see him nonplussed by a
proposition. He had cut a headstone
for an old Irishwoman. While II wa
being finished she came into the yard
TO look at II. She gazed a moment and
then, cooked her head to one side, criti-
cally said:
II say, misther; / wouldn't be-
grudge we fifty cents extra IL ye'd cut
a couple OF little angels on top Of that
Little angels were worth about SIS
apiece, and the proposition fairly stag
gered the headstone man. Yes, there
are tricks In the headstone Business"
And the philosopher turned again 10
MS morning paper.-New York Sun.