davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20
rhc nottIe nt ship Launehes.

Down 80 Charles IFS time il was Gus
tomary 10 name and baptize a ship aft
er she was launched, sometimes
week or two after. The old Tudor
method used for men-of-war was still
in use. Pepys' "DiaTy" shows that
The ship was safely got afioat. after
which some high parsonage went on
board with a special silver standing
cup or "faggon" of wine. out Of which
be drank. naming the ship. AID poured
n Iihation on the quarter deck. The
cup was then generally given TO the
dockyard master shipwrisht as me-
mentO.
When did the present usage Of nam
ing and baptizing q ship before she is
sent afioat come in: l trace the last
explicit mention Of the old method to
1854. when the Royal Katherine was
launched (See Pepysl. The first men
ton of smashing n bottle Of wine ca
the bows Of a British man-of-war that
] have found is in a contemporary
newspaper cutting Of May, l7So. de-
scribing the christening Of H. NJ. ).
MIagnaBimc At Dcptford. bet nothing
is limited that it was then a new Gus
tom.-No:es and Queries.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20

A good story is told by an English
tourist who staid for a week in apart
meEts in Aberdeen. the Granite City"
Il had heard he says. .'of the canny
folk Of Aberdeen. and my experience,
short though il was. proved that rumor
lad rightly estimated the character Of
fle people. The streets are granite.
rhe houses are granite. and the inhab-
ItantS are granite. and when they have
4 granite baby they give it bali of
glaniie for fear il should break any
other toy.
Il had a granite landlady. aud one
day when | was goi;;g fishing her
son volunteered 10 accompany me-
provided the lunch. the rods and the
lines: he provided the worms-dgg
them up in neighbsr's garden with .
borrowed spade. ! caught l6 trout: lie
ate the lunch and broke my best rosl.
When we got home. made a present
Of Il OF the fish 10 my granite landLtdy
and asked her 10 cook the other two
Tor my tea. She did ami charged me
threepence for the dripping in which
they Were friedy'-LOndon Answers.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20
= .ove, In Il Nutshell.

Met him.
Met him agaln-in love with him.
Met him aEain-no longer in love
with him. but he in love with me, be-
cause am so beautiful
Net him again-he is still more in
love with me. not only because ! am
beautiful. but because | am also good.
Sorry for him.
Again / met him-he is colder than
he was. Think he has forgotten my
beauty and my goodness. I. however.
am inclined to think that | an in love
with him after all. How lucky he is,
and how angry mamma win be.
Mamma proved to be strangely
pleased. Makes me angry, for know
she is not a good judge Of a Young
girls heart.
Flirted with him outrageously 10
make mamma mad-didn't succeed.
Engaged 10 him-glad.
Married 10 him-sorry. London An
sWeFs
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20

A local sportsman. who has the repu-
tatiOn of being very bad shot. recent
ly invited some of his friends TO dine
with him. Before dinner he showed
them target painted on the barn door.
with bullet in the bullS,yr. This hc
claimed to have shot at I.CJO yards
distance. AS nobody believed him. be
offered to bet the price OF an oyster
supper on Il.
On one of his guests accepting the
wager. he produced two witnesses.
whose veracity could not BE- pucs-
toned. to prove his assertion. AS they
both said that he had done what H.
claimed he won the bet. At dinner
the loser OF the wager asked how his
host had managed to frr such an e.
cellent shot. The host an swered. Il
shot the bullet NJ the door at "a distance
of l.OO0 yards and then ! PAINTED tie
target around tr-Cincinnau En-
Quirer
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20
An old Timer.

A crowd of young men were seated
in one OF the steamboat offices in the
city the other afternoon while an old
steamboat veteran regaled them with
stories about old times on the Missis-
sippi and "reminiscences OF old time cit
liens.
Did you know old Bill JonesF" ask
ed one of the men. after the captain
had finished relating how he ran a
gantlet OF Indians with his boat way
back in the forties.
Member Bill Jones? Well. l guess
| cid" replied the captain. Lets see.
be died just after the war. lie was a
good old fellow too. knew his father
before he was married TO Bills moth
err
One Of the boys thought the old man
was doping" and by way of tripping
him up on his dates asked. "Cap. how
long have you been running on the riv-
erg'
who. ne? Why. | started on the
Mississippi when il was nuthin but a
cree2r alenphiS Scimitar.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20
GLASSES FOR THE EYES.
The Reason They Are Worn by So
Many Persons Nowadays

The Reason They Are Worn by So
Many Persons Nowadays
The question is often asked. particu-
larly by those who can recall the Gus
toms and experiences OF % years ago.
why do so many persons nowadays
wear glasses?" The answer is easy.
''The Increase in the number OF spec
tacles worn is not TO be regardedl as
an evidence of modern degeneration
Of the eyes. but rather that a long felt
necessity has been met" For il should
be remembered that within the past
quarter of century much has been
learned about the value OF glasses. and
the range of their application and use
fUlness has been enormously extended.
OF course the eyes need more help now
than formerly. as the amount of work
they are required to do is much greater
than AT any previous period in the
worlds history The sewing machine
and many other inventions Of its class
save the labor of the hands only TO
add to that required OF the eyes.
New emp!Oyments. new amusements
and new fashions are continually De-
ing introduced to increase the exac-
tionS laid upon these sensitive and
delicate organs. The steady decrease
Of illiteracy. together with the general
cLeapness Of literature and a spread
of Il taste for ii. the enormous circula-
ton of novel. magazine and newspa-
per, the ever increasing use of artificial
Illumination. all combine TO oyertax
the eyes and TO weaken or possibly de-
stroy the sight unless the required aid
and protection be supplied through
every means at our disposal. Thus II
happens that the some time luxury of
properly adapted glasses has come 70
be Recognized and understood By very
many OF the present generation as one
Of the real necessities of their lives
LiDDincott's
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20
English omcers wear Armor.

Many officers of the British army
are wearers of armOr. As a general
rule the mail Is lnclosed in a leather
casing. which is sewed inside the
tunic. so as to be invisible unless the
garment is picked to pieces. And the
same with helmets-a similar device is
fixed in the lining. so as TO give addi-
tional protection in case of need. Some
officers are not above wearing mail
vests underneath their tunics and per-
fectly oblivious of their comrades. who
although they may scoff in times of
peace. would only be too glad to don
one themselves when in the middle Of
hostilities. The majority of the max
er's customers are officers. because the
suits are very expensive. costing about
10 guineas each.-Regiment
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20

There is danger in the porous charac-
ter of plaster ceilings. which are
often very thin indeed. The ordinary
ceiling is only a porous Diaphragm
permeable by gases with considerable
freedom" The vitiated air Of sitting
rooms therefore frequently finds its
way through into bedrooms. The Brit
ish Medical Journal asks any skeptic
to compare his bodily and mental sen
sations after sleeping in such a room
ana In one situated over a similar room
Well ventilated and not occupied or
Illuminated by gas during the even
ing. The remedy. il says. is to have
bedrooms on the ground floor and liv-
ing. working and cooking rooms IN
stairs. But how about noise?-London
Chronicle.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20
Coined Words.

Coined words. have made little
study OF them myself. always with
disappointing results. | always run
across them. after discovering them.
somewhere about 100 years before the
birth OF the inventor | once coined O.
name, away back in 1876. for one Of
my so called humorous characters
Bilderback. put the Bilderback fam
lily in jocus print for several years.
One night. about 1887. lectured in Sa-
lem. y. j.. and told one OF my BfdeF-
back stories. The audience was CON
vulsed with more mirth than the story
called for After the lecture | was in
trodueed 10 about dozen BiIderbacks,
who enjoyed my story more than any
one else.-Robert ]. BuFdette In Chau-
tauquan.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20
when Henry Irving. Was Kissed.

Il was hlssed every night for week
when was playing the provinces
about % years ago" said Henry Irving
10 writer in Ainslee's. 81 was given
ar engagement rs leading man in a
very small theater. and before | made
my bow to the audience learned that
the man whose place had taken WAS
very popular in the vicinity and that
the people strongly disproved of The
way in which the management had
forced him 10 retire. so that when
made my appearance the audience
showed their disapproval OF the mana
ger by strongly kissing the successor
to their fayorite. and they kept it up
for a week. II was a very unhappy
week for me-"
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20
The Actor, Card.

Il showed them my card at the
door" the actor was complaining. "and
they referred me TO the manager. And
what do you suppose he said? He said
he was sorry. but the demand for seats
had been so great that he had decided
TO discontinue the professional free
list"
We'll" said his friend the sharper.
did you expect 10 beat a full house
with single cardy"-New York Com.
mercial Advertiser.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20
Up TO Dnte bobby.

Robert has positively declined to
learn to spell. WomanIy intuition ad-
monishes Roberts mamma that Robert
will doubtless say something very
bright II pressed. and she accordingly
argues with she boy.
"All great men learned TO spell when
they We're little boys" she says.
We'll. that was before you could hire
a stenographer for So a week" replies
Robert.
OF course Roberts mamma loses no
time in telephOning for the newspapers
a brief outline of what has happened
and bidding them send their best re-
pOrters right up.-Detroit Journal.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20

4 curious barren mound is TO be seen
in Montgomery churchyard- What
ever the cause. there is plainly to be
seen a strip OF sterility in the form of
n cross among a mass Of verdure. With
the mound a melancholy legend is con
nectcd. II is called Roberts Grave
ard the story is thac beneath this bar
ren hillocl. lie the remains OF an in
nocent man who was hanged on mis-
taken evidence. II is said that while
the man stood on the gallows with
the rope round his neck he solemnly
declared. rs a proof Of his Innocence.
that grass should never grow en- his
grave. And even so il was and is.
ANY one who attempts 10 frust@ate the
fulfllmeEt Of this prophecy by sowing
grass on this spot pays the penalty
with his He Instances are given OF
individuals who have been rash enough
TO do so and have met their doom soon
afterward.- Cardiff Western Mail.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20
ADVERTISING.
IA ffa. RevoIutiOaiEed BuSines. ana
Benefited Humanity.

Benefited nuutbuttgs
Advertising is indeed one of the great
developments Of the age. II has reVo-
lntionizetl business and made II possi-
Bile to accomplish in few years what
otherwise would have taken genera
tIons TO compass. Today the adVeftls-
er. through the medium Of the pubic
nrass can Introduce his article 10 the
eptire public almost literally at a
hound Such servant at the seller ;
elbow has naturally made business
Vastly different from what Il was seF-
eraI hundred years ago.
II is no Longer necessary. as II was
in previous generations. TO coniine
ones commercial transactions to mn
tied area. In fact the manufactures
of today regards the world as his neid.
and there are quite a number OF pro
p~ietary articles. widely and faVorably
known in every quarter Of the civilizeh
world. which have been introduced dur
iug the lifetime OF their present pro-
prietors. who are men only in the
prime of l;fe.
Without advertising. by which Il Is
possible TO reach and influence hun
dreds OF thousands Of persons simulta-
neously. such result could not be 'le-
complished in several generations. II
indeed it could be accomplished at all
Nor has this advertising benefited the
seller only. II las brought 10 the
knowledge Of the buyer the hundreds
OF improvements and articles ny which
life can be made more pleasant. hy
which the health can be preserved. the
palate gratified. the intellect fed and
satisfied.
II is no exaggeration TO say that no
force has conduced more 10 knit the
world closely together nor made our
mutual interdependence more apparent.
1T is but The simple truth 10 assert
says n recent writer. that the loss OF
the information which the advertise
ments furnish would be one OF the
greatest imaginable misfortunes TO civ
ilization. Self Culture.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20
General Lee. sIodesty.

\ month or so after his surrender
General Lee went one day TO the store
uear his home In Powhatan county,
Va. which served also rs the post
office. Everybody in the town was
instantly eager to see him. and in 4
few moments the store was crowded.
The general was talking with the pro
prietor about crops and other matters
and appeared utterly unconscious Of
the fact that the gathering Of the resi-
dents was due solely to his presence.
Suddenly lie realized that everybody
was watching him and modestly said:
But see | am keeping you from your
many customers. Pardon me-" and at
once withdrew.-Ladies' Home Jour
nal
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20
Sfnrfed n Run.

A very simple statement proved
very unfortunate TO a savings institI-
ton in the rural district recently. An
editor. in writing OF the institution in
his paper said:
''The president is a very tall nan:
the cashier is short"
And in less than an hour the excited
depOsitors Were asking. How much
how much ?'-Atlanta Constitution.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20
RniIrosd slang as Traa.lated.


Extract from report made by hea'
brakeman:
The con was Tipping the tissues il
the dCghcGsc. -e hind shack wa.
freezing a hot L.-S near the bind end
Tallow Pot was cracking diamonds il
the tank Eagle Eye was down greas
ing the pig and was ben1ing the rail
when they hit US.
1t was translated by an old timer il
the Office as follows;
"The conductor was examining thl
train orders in the cupOla. The rca
brakeman was cooling Journal Th
fireman was breaking coal. The en-
gineer was oiling the engine. AMI tn
head brakeman was throwing n switcl
when the traias came together -
Maine Central
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20

Satirisis are not able Ia percpi-e
sheir own absurditieS. Thsa is weH
Known falling and as old as fls. hills.
The first great English writer 10 eou1s
over here and create farore was
Charles Dickens. and certainly ~ man
ever lived who had a sharper eye for
fbe sroiesqEe in personal appearance.
especially "a dress. According TO an
accounts. his make MP was something
apraliins. My old uncle saw him IN
sew Orleans and used TO swear he
looked more Ike caricaiure than a
huiaan Being He curled his beard.
used corseis. sported red waisseoats
with lavender pantaloons. carried two
watches with gold chains around his
neck and wore rings outside his gloves.
inst think Of II.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20

A fire in Japan is exciting. The lap
anese seem 10 lose their heads com
pletely in tine presence of the fire de-
mon The people move from the houses
where the fire breaks ont into the next.
then to another. and SO on. until the
fire is over. the united families moving
from house to house with great non
chalancr. y man dancing on his roof
with a paper fire god is supposed 70
avert tile danger. and no man is more
surprised than he when. in spite Of the
fire god. the house iglites. and in a
moment roof and man fall together.
In three days the hoGses are rebuilt
and all traces of Ere removed
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20
sAELvso HIS INVENTION.
An Experience which Taught the
Mechanical Expert n Lesson.

Mechanical Expert n Lesson.
One of the best mechanical engineers
in New Orleans told an Interesting
story als.5pos of the tribulations of in-
ventors. About three years ago ne
said. Il got up little device that
greatly simplified the working OF
certain type OF pump. | took out
patents that cost me In the neighbor-
hood of $500. including attorneys fees.
md finally submitted the thing to
big manufacturing concern in the
north. The proprietors at once con
ceded the merit of the invention and
offered me $500 down and a royalty OF
S125 on each one used. The cash pay
ment amounted TO nothing. for 1t really
fell short OF covering my time and ex-
penses. but the royalty was generous,
aud l figured il out that it would yield
me an income OF $1,000 or $1,000 Tor
several years-perhaps longer. II de-
pended on how soon something better
entered the field.
Accordingly. accepted the PROPOSE
ton and transferred all my right. Now.
how much do you think L actually re-
ceived! Not a penny, No. ! haven't
been cheated; at least, all the accounts
have been perfectly straight. The
trouble is they never put the device on
the market. They simply stuck the
patents and drawings In a pigeonhole
and there they remain 10 this day.
"Why did they do il. did you ask? To
save money. The public is very well
suited with their pump as 1t stands.
and il is doubtful IL they could get any
more for ii with my Improvement add
ed. Such a step would merely cut down
the net profit. SO they prefer 10 let well
enough alone. Ii was necessary. OF
course. TO get my invention safely
sheived. or it might have been taken
up by some enterprising rival. and the
only earthly reason for spending $500
on the thing was to put it out OF the
way. Ii was rather rough on me. TO
be sure. but the experience was yalu-
able. and | won't get caught that way
again" - New Orleans Times-Demo-
Graf
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20

Friends: ! should say so. Never
suspected that had so many. Have
TO LET them in one door and out the
other. Best lot OF fellows you ever
saw. Give 'em a big stag party to-
night
Then the misguided youth sat down
and drew a check against the gpneI-
Gus legacy he had received within the
month and resented an insinuation
that his anish was visible.-Detroit
Free Press.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20
wbnt yyomrn Dont Ixnoy.

"One of the mistakes Of women. q"
said a woman's lecturer the other day.
''is in loving too much. They can new
er make mistake in loving. but they
ought TO be careful in picking ont the
man. They are rather apt to do it on
the grab bag principle. Another Of the
mistakes of woman is not knowing
how to rest. AMI still another is not
knowing how To eat. What women
don't know about both has built 10000
hospitals. Consider the way of man
and be wise Women worry toe much.
They are misers to jollity. and they
nearly always die leaving a large ac-
count i'm the Ban; of Merriment."
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20

Irishmen are inclined TO word per-
version: but. says a writer in The Nine
teenth Century the following descrip-
ton Of slow speech which often de-
generated into a stammer shows that
occasionally they use the best words
possible in explaining a thing:
ITS a quare sort Nv way Martin
talks" said Pat. Its as if he TUX the
wurds out NV his mout' an lu,.ed AZ
EN- before he gives 'em TO yez."
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20

The senate has always been con
trolled 10y lawyers. who are the aristo-
cratic class In the United States. and
Blaine was at disadvantage because
he did not belong TO the profession.
The law lords were disposed TO dis
parage and fout him. but he was dis
respectful to the verge of irreverence.
"Does the senator from Maine think
am an idiotT roared Thurman. in
reply to an interrogatory Blaine put
to him one day In the Pacific railroad
debate.
We'll" beloved Blaine. that de-
pends entirely on the answer you make
to my question.-Saturday Evening
Post.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20
A Curious Battle.

An interesting spectacle was wit
messed the other day on the banks Of
the river Soar. near Hathern. by a gen
tleman resident in the district. Being
attracted by peculiar cry. he turned
aside and came upon a young otter and
a huge eel engaged in a deadly strug-
gle. The otter had evidently caught
the eel. which had retaliated by wind
ing itself tightly round the formers
neck. The fight lasted several min
utes, the otter eventually freeing itself
and making off with a part Of the eel.
which it had bitten in two.-London
Telegraph.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20

Two little folks went to church alone
1t was only around the corner from
their home. and their mamma knew
they would be safe. During the long
sermon they got tired, and the older
one. supposing that the school rules
held good in church. led his sister up
in front of the pulpit and said. Please
may we go homeE" Much surprised
the clergymen gazed at them over his
spectacles. Then he understood. and
said. Certainly. my children" And
the two tOddled out while the congre-
CATION smiled.-W Weekly Bouquet
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20
Mixed.

On one occasion the Prince OF Wales
visited a HindoO school in Madras
The youngsters had been drilled into
the propriety of saying Your royal
hlghness' should the prince speak to
them. and when the heir apparent ac-
eosted a bright eyed lad. and. pointing
to prismatic compass. asked. What
is thisy' the younGs;er. all in a fiutter.
replied. Its royal compass, your
prismatic highness."
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20
Frnnce. wlllnra.r Emptr rur.e.

1t was characteristic of the late
Frances Willard that she never had
any money. Miss Gordon attended 10
her finances. and IL was found on -he
whole best to leave Miss Willards :
purse empty. because if she started
out In the morning with full pocket
book she came back pennileSs in the
evening. One night she told in her in
imitable way of having gone to Chi
cago and reached Rest Cottage again
on the capital Of a postage stamp. At
the station she turned her pockets out,
but not bit of change was to be
found. She had forgotten all about il.
''What am to do about it:" she asked
the agent perplexedly. Anna is out.
think. and | haven't a cent of money"
I'll give you "A ;icKet, Miss Willard.
said the clerk.
when / got into the bus | remem-
bered again." she said. land told the
driver. Il think I'll have TO walk. for |
haven't any money ''Oh. that's all
right. Miss Willard" said the driver.
And so ali day. greatly to her amusc-
ment. she went on getting in debt TO
the railroads, cabmen and restaurants.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1899-12-20
Making Ducks Lay Black Eggs.

According to writer in a Frencl
scientific paper duckS fed on acornS
which they will eat ravenously. no.
unfrequently lay black eggs. The rea
son is that their eggshcl is naturally
rich in iron. and this combines wit
the tannin in the acorn TO produce I;
good. fast black. The same pape
states that If fowls are fed on boile,
lobster shells they viii lay bright re,
nrrr..