davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08
An Old Timer.

A crowd of young men were seated
In one of the steamboat offices in the
city the other afternoon while an old
steamboat veteran RECALLED them with
stories about old times ON the Missis-
sippi and "reminiscences Of old time cit
liens.
did you know old Bill Jones?" ask
ed one Of the men, after the captain
had finished relating how he ran a
gantlet Of Indians with his boat way
back in the forties.
"'Member Bill Jones? Well, guess
I did" replied the captain. Lets see,
he died just after the war. He was a
good old fellow too. l knew his father
before he was married to Bills moth
err"
One of the boys thought the old man
was doping" and by way Of tripping
him up on his dates asked, Cap, how
long have you been running on the riv-
erY'
"Who. me? Why, 1 started on the
Mississippi when 1t was nuthin but a
creek!"-Memphis Scimitar.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08
GLASSES FOR THE EYES.
The Reason They Are Worn by So
Many Persons Nowadays.

The Reason They Are Worn by So
Many Persons Nowadays.
The question is often asked, particu-
larry by those who can recall the GUS
toms and experiences Of % years ago,
"Why do so many persons nowadays
wear glasses" The answer is easy.
''The increase in the number Of spec
tacles worn is not to be regarded as
an, evidence of modern degeneration
of the eyes, but rather that long felt
necessity has been met" For it should
be remembered that within the past
quarter of century much has been
learned about the value Of glasses, and
the range Of their application and use
fulness has been enormously extended.
OF course the eyes need more help now
than formerly, rs the amount Of work,
they are required to do is much greater
than at any previous period In the
worlds history. The sewing machine
and many other inventions of its class
save the labor of the hands only to
add to that required of the eyes.
New employments, new amusements
and new fashions are continually be-
ing introduced to increase the exac-
tons laid upon these sensitive and
delicate organs. The steady decrease
Of illiteracy, together with the general
cheapness of literature and n spread
Of a taste for it, the enormous circula-
ton Of novel, magazine and newspa-
per, the ever increasing use of artificial
illumination, all combine to overtax
the eyes and to weaken or possibly de-
stroy the sight unless the required aid
and protection be supplied through
every means at our disposal. Thus it
happens that the some time luxury of
properly adapted glasses has come to
be recognized and understood by very
many Of the present generation as one
Of the real necessities Of their lives
IiDDincott's
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08
Ground Floor Bedrooms.

There is danger in the porous charac-
ter Of plaster ceilings. which are
often very thin indeed. The ordinary
ceiling is ''only porous diaphragm
permeable by gases with considera BILE
freedom" The yitiated air Of sitting
rooms therefore frequently finds its
way through into bedrooms. The Brit
ish Medical Journal asks any skeptic
to compare his bodily and mental SEN
sations after sleeping in such n room
and in one situated over a similar room
well ventilated and not occupied or
Illuminated by gas during the even
ing" The remedy. it says. is to have
bedrooms on the ground floor and liv-
ing, working and cooking ROOMS up
stairs. But how about noise?-London
Chronicle.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08
TWO MEAN TOWNS.
The Stories That the Travelling Men
Told About Them

The Stories That the Travelling Men
Told About Them.
They were talking about bad towns.
1.-THE meanest place I ever was in"
said the man who travels for Chicago
house, sis down in Massachusetts. Say,
do you know what happened while !
was stopping there once? A man had
fallen through hole in n sidewalk and
sustained injuries that resulted in the
loss of his right arm. He sued the city
for damages, and the case was tried
before jury. which, the papers said.
was composed of representative citi-
zens. Well, what do you suppose they
did to him? Brought in verdict in
favor Of the city, holding that mas
much as he was left handed his injury
didn't amount to anything"
"Yes," the cigar man said, that's
pretty mean town, admit, but know
Of a worse one. This place Is in Penn
sylvania. An acquaintance Of mine
in pretty much the same way the man
you mentioned got hurt. He fell on a
bad sidewalk and lost one of his legs.
He sued the city, and didn't get any
thing. l never heard just why, but
probably because the jurors didn't be-
lieve he needed more than one leg in
his business, seeing that he was bar
Der and couldn't hone a razor or shave
a man with his foot anyway. But
wait, I haven't come to the point at
which the real meanness developed.
Being a poor man, he couldn't afford to
buy a cork leg, so he had to get along
with n wooden peg, and one day while
he was crossing the principal street
this peg in some way got wedged be-
tween q couple Of paving stones right
in the middle Of the street car track.
1t took them nearly an hour to get him
loose, and what do you suppose hap
pened then? Blamed If they didn't go
and fine him $40 and costs for obstruct-
ing rafficw-Chicago Times-Herald.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08
The Sdh's Journey Through SPACE.
By ineahs Of the spectroscope we can

I The S0h'S Journey Through SPACE.
By means Of the spectroscope we can
obtain probably more accurate deter.
mination of the suns velocity through
space. AS Is we'll known, the velocity
Of star in the line of sight can be
found by measuring the displacement
of the lines visible in the stars spec
trum. Now, the stars near the position
of the solar "apex" should be ap-
preaching the earth on account Of the
solar motion, and those at the opposite
point of the sky, called the "ant apex"
should be recsdlng.
This method has been employed by
several astronomers, especially by Vo-
gel at the Potsdam observatory. This
able astronomer has found from an ex-
animation Of 40 stars that the suns
velocity through space Is about w
miles q second, but an examination of
a larger number of stars would be nee
essary before we could consider this
result as thoroughly established.
From an examination of the spectra
of IA nebuln Professor Keller of the
LiCh oUseINdIoIy las louAu NeioCiliCo
In the line Of sight, and from these the
French astronomer Tisserand has de-
duced velocity of about 8 1-3 miles
for the solar motion, result which
does not differ widely from that found
by Vogel. We may therefore perhaps
conclude that the velocity Of the suns
motion through space is between 6 and
IL miles per second.-Gentleman'
Magazine.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08

Coined words! have made q little
study Of them myself. always with
disappointing results. always run
across them, after discovering them,
somewhere about 100 years before the
birth of the inventor. once coined q
name, away back in 1876. for one Of
my 50 called humorous characters
Bilderback. put the Bilderback fam
lily In jocus print for several years.
One night, about 1887, lectured in Sa-
lem. N. J.. and told one Of my Bilder-
back stories. The audience was con-
vulsed with more mirth than the story
called for. After the lecture I was in
PRODUCED to about dozen Bilderbacks,
who enjoyed my story more than any
one else.-Robert ]. Burdette in Chau-
tauQuan.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08

"Atter dis" said the old colored
farmer, II amt gwine tex nobody's all
vice bout whar ortcr keep my money.
You know, Br'er Williams toll me dat
banks wuz onsafe-dat dey all time
failin en- swallerln up what yo' puts
In Jump
"He dld?"
dat what he done! En- he say, wen
yo' sells yo' cotton, TEX yo' money en-
dig hole in de ground en- bury it,"
"En yo' done lax he say?"
81 did. fer sho'! En- what yo' reckon
Br'er Williams gone ter bed dat night.
en-. please God, he see money in his
dream, en- whilst he wuz in a trance
Ell walkin in his sleep de sperit what
wuz a-movin er i'm led right whar dat
money wuz, en- TO he knowed 1t he had
done digged 1t up en- lef de state wild
it"'-Atlanta Constitution.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08
NOT ON THE TIME TABLE.
The cufious Reason Far Which. .
Train Was side Tracked,

In the rarefied atmosphere of the
high tablelands of Mexico objects that
are really a long way Off appear to be
close at hand. This has led to many
ludicrous mistakes on the part of tour
lists, and even on the part Of those hay
ing a knowledge of the popularity of
the country.
The Mexican Central railroad has a
tangent (section Of track in which
there Is no curve) that is said to be the
longest in the world. 1t is over GO
miles in length, and locomotive head
light can be seen, Of course, for a very
long distance.
One evening a train rounded the
curve approaching this tangent, and
as it entered on the straight track its
brakes suddenly began to grind. 1t
soon came to n standstill. and the con-
ductor, fearing that an accident had
befallen the engine, hurried forward,
and was shown by the engineer light
that was twinkling and dancing on the
track directly ahead.
"a headlight, sure" the engineer
said. Must be an extra and the dis
patchers have overlooked it. for orders
10 not mention It."
"Guess you are right" the conductor
replied, @but I never knew the dis
patchers to be so careless before. Any
where but on this tangent there would
have been a collision and somebody
killed. We'd better move ahead slowly
to the next side track. We can't tell just
how near that train may be, and we
will wait for it to pass us there"
They reached the side track in safety,
and, drawing in on 1t, awaited the
coming of the other train. Half an
hour passed. and the engineer was
Tuning, wondering how much longer
he was to be delayed, when the con-
ductor called him to step out to the
main line.
"What do you think of that head
light, now" he asked, when the engi-
neer had Joined him. Seems to have
got clear up and of the road"
The engineer gazed at the twinkling
light, then, Venus, by Jupiter" he ex-
claimed. BILLY. we've side tracked to
let star 60 by. or my names not
Smith!'-Youth's Companion.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08

"You haven't any smokeless tobac-
co, have you" asked the smart young
man.
"Lots Of it." said the matter of fact
person behind the counter. producing a,
box of snuff. How much do you
want?"
1t Is said that cowbelIs are produced
in only four factories in the United
States and are made just the same as
they were 100 years ago and sound the
soRe. ---.---.---.---------...-.---
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08
SHELvED HIS INVENTION.
An Experience Which Taught the
Mechanical Exnert n Lesson.

An Experience Which Taught the
Mechanical Expert q Lesson.
One of the best mechanical engineers
in New Orleans told an interesting
story apropos Of the POPULATIONS Of H.
ventors. about three years ago." he
said, Il got up little device that
greatly simplified the working Of q
certain type of pump. took out
patents that cost me in the neighbor-
hood Of $500, including attorneys fees,
and finally submitted the thing to
big manufacturing concern In the
north. The proprietors at once con-
ceded the merit of the invention and
offered me $500 down and royalty of
$125 on each one used. The cash pay
ment amounted to nothing, for it really
fell short of covering my time and ex-
peuses, but the royalty was generous,
and figured it out that 1t would yield
me an income Of $1,000 or $4,000 for
several years-perhaps longer. 1t de-
pended on how soon something better
entered the field.
Accordingly, accepted the PROPOSE
ton and transferred all my right. Now.
how much do you think actually re-
ceived? Not penny! No, l haven't
been cheated; at least, all the accounts
have been perfectly straight. The
trouble is they never put the device on
the market. They simply stuck the
patents and drawings in a pigeonhole
and there they remain to this day.
"Why did they do it, did you ask? To
save money. The public is very well
suited with their pump as it stands.
and it is doubtful If they could get any
more for it with my improvement add
ed. Such a step would merely cut down
the net profit, so they prefer to let well
enough alone. 1t was necessary, of
course, to get my invention safely
shelved, or it might have been taken
up by some enterprising rival, and the
only earthly reason for spending $500
on the thing was to put it out of the
way. 1t was rather rough on me. to
be sure, but the experience was valu-
able, and 1 won't get caught that way
again." New Orleans Times-Demo-
crat
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08
THE EAST WIND.

Tou're coming, coming. like the light
And spreading DER the lea.
know there's death for some tonight,
But life and joy TO me,
For you're the east wind,
East wind that love, 1
The east wind Of the sea.
!. nurtured on our sea grit coast,
Round roof and rock and tree,
Drank in tho food loved the mos
The east wind of the sea-
And midst the spray on oceans breast,
While you whistled wild and free,
I've kissed your cheek and sunk to rest.
o east wind of the sea!
80, though pray for those you harm
And wish it might not be,
Sweep in and bring the old, old charm
Oh, bring it back to mel
For you're the east wind,
:, East wind that l love,
The east wind of the sea.
/. Boston Transcript.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08
When Henry Irving Was Kissed.

81 was Kissed every night for a week
when l was playing the provinces
about 35 years ago" said Henry Irving
to writer In Ainslee's. II was given
aE engagement as leading man In q
very small theater, and before | made
my bow to the audience 1 learned that
the man whose place l had taken was
very popular in the vicinity and thai
the people strongly disproved Of the
way in which the management had
forced him to retire. so that when l
made my appearance the audience
showed their disapproval Of the mana,
ger by strongly kissing the successor,
to their favoritc, and they kept it VI
for a week. 1t was n very unhapr!
week for me-"
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08
THE ECISAND INTELLIGENCE
sEI HIR ms: pfcEMsEKs 1899.
A BULKY RECEIPT,
The Bank Deposition Had S0methin
to Show For His Money.

The Bank Depositor Had Something
to Show For His Money.
A man with n German accent and
fierce red mustache walked into one of
the banks the other day and announc-
ed that he wanted to open an account.
He was directed to the proper official
and from q well worn belt extracted
$500. This sum he handed through the
window.
The bank official showed the big sig
nature book toward the depositor for
his signature. Just then the officials
attention was attracted In another d.
rection. When, a second later, he turn
ed around, the man with the red mus
tache was coolly walking toward the
door with the book, which contained
the signatures of all the depositors in
the bank, tucked under his arm.
The assistant cashier yelled:
Hold on, therew
But the Teuton pursued his even
course toward the street.
The official rushed from behind his
counter and caught the new depositor
Just as he reached the door.
what are you doing with that
book" demanded the bank official an
grily, laying hold of the precious vol
ume.
"Why, thought that was the receipt
for my $500" answered the German,
completely bewildered
In the same bank a well dressed wo-
man called to deposit $500.
The assistant cashier pushed the sig
nature book toward her, after receiv-
ing the deposit.
"Sign your name there" said the off,
cial, indicating the proper place.
The woman took up the pen and
made show of writing, but the steel
point never touched the paper. After
few more fancy fiourishes in the air
the woman handed back the pen, say
ing:
Last summer 1 used to write my
name all right, but for some reason
can't do it now"
The bank official directed her to
make an "X" in the book.-Chicago
JournaE
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08

The senate has always been con-
trolled by lawyers, who are the aristo-
cratic class In the United States, and
Blaine was at disadvantage because
he did not belong to the profession.
The law lords were disposed to dis.
parage and fout him, but he was dis
respectful to the verge Of irreverence.
docs the senator from Maine think
/ am an idiot" roared Thurman, in
reply to an interrogatory Blaine put
to him one day in the Pacific railroad
debate.
"Well." beloved Blaine. that de-
ponds entirely on the answer you make
to my Question"-Saturday Evening
Post
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08
English oflcers Wear Ar,nor.

Many officers of the British army
are wearers of armor. AS a general
rule the mail is inclosed in a leather
casing, which Is sewed inside the
tunic, so as to be invisible unless the
garment is picked to pieces. And the
same with helmets-a similar device is
fixed in the lining. so as to give addi-
tional protection in case of need. Some
officers are not above wearing mail
vests underneath their tunics and per-
fectly oblivious of their comrades, who.
although they may scott in times Of
peace, would only be too glad to don
one themselves when in the middle of
hostilities. The majority Of the max
er's customers are officers. because the
suits are very expensive. costing about
10 guineas each.-Regiment
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08

There ia large expanse of rolling
sward on Governors island kept at all
times in the pink of condition. This
little island off Battery park Is con-
ceded to be the best kept army post on
the Atlantic coast. There are two
reasons for this. Fort Columbus Is the
headquarters of the department of the
east. 1t must assume all appearance
in keeping with its high standing In
the department.
1t also has military prison. and the
convicts sent there for terms Of months
or years are sentenced to hard labor.
Under the supervision Of sentinels
these men keep the walks and prone
nades scrupulously clean and the
sward closely clipped and free from
falling leaves and other litter. They
also give proper attention to the vari-
GUS buildings and their immediate sur
roundings.-New York Press.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08
Pararuay,. ParticuIar Flea.

Perhaps the plague in Paraguay is
merely an attack Of pigue, or sand flea.
This insect is called nigua in the native
language. In 1870 it killed a whole
colony of Englishmen, consisting of
200 families, turning the colony, which
was at Itape, into a cemetery. A Ger
man colony at Acegua was driven ont.
The pigue causes buboes and attacks
the warmest parts Of the body-that Is,
the cavities and the groin and armpit-
just the same spots as the eastern
plague. 1t attacks Englishmen and
Germans preferentially and avoids
those that use but little soap. Soaps
clean the body, and the pigue likes
clean persons to eat. 1t also avoids
people who eat more or less poisonous
food. A man saturated with alcohols,
Bcca gin, nicotine and Paseo de Julio
cookery Is pretty well safe from the
sand 6ea.-Buepos Ayres Herald.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08

A very simple statement proved
very unfortunate to savings institl.
ton in the rural district recently. AD
editor. in writing Of the institution In
his paper, said:
1.-THE president is a very tall man
the cashier Is short"
And in less than an hour the excited
depositors were asking. "How much
Vow MUCH T-Atlanta Constitution,
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08
Why n Cemetery Fence.

It was a Maine graveyard. and the
fence thereof was in most disreputa-
BILE condition.
Some of the neighbors were trying to
start movement to put a new fence
around the cemetery, and it was meet
ing with general approval till the caus-
tic wit of Darius Howard was aroused.
"What for?" he inquired. whats
the need Of fencing the graveyard
There amt no one inside that wants to
come out, and I'm darn sure there amt
any one outside that wants to get in.
So what's the need Of the fence"
And the fence was not built till folk
had ceased TO chuckle over the thrust
of Darius.-Lewiston Journal.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08
A Curious Battle.

An interesting spectacle was wit
messed the other day on the banks Of
the river Soar, near Hathern, by n gen.
tleman resident In the district. Being
attracted by peculiar cry, he turned
aside and came upon a young otter and
a huge eel engaged In deadly strug-
gle. The otter had evidently caught
the eel, which had retaliated by wind
ing itself tightly round the formers
neck. The fight lasted several min
utes, the otter eventually freeing itself
and making off with a part of the eel.
which it had bitten in two.-London
TelepraDh
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08

the man who turns to Nature and lets her
help him may yet save himself Medical
science knows this, and its highest authori-
ties affirm that the utmost medical skill
can do is to help Nature.
The great success of DR.. Pierce's Golden
Medical Discovery in curing wasted bodies,
weak lungs. and obstinate and lingering
coughs is based on the recognition aof
this fundamental scientific truth. Golden
Medical Discovery" supplies Nature with
body building, tissue repairing, muscle
making materials, in condensed and con-
centrated form With this help Nature
supplies the strength to throw off diseases
of the lungs, heal the sick stomach, re-
establish the digestive and nutritive organs
in sound health, purify and enrich the
blood, and nourish the nerves.
If your dealer offers something "just 40
good ;" it is probably better fer him; !, it
pays better. But you are thinking of the
cure not the profit, so there's nothing Just
as good " for you. Say so.
In letter received from A. D. Weller, Esq,
of Pensacola, Escambia Co., Fla. (Box $40, he
states: II have, since receiving your diagnosis
of my as stomach trouble and liver conf
plant, taken eight bottles of the Golden Medi-
cal Discovery and must say that am trans
formed from walking shadow las my friends
called mel, to perfect health. value your
remedies very highly and take pleasure in
as did. -Four months ago 1 did nat think to be
in shape to assist Uncle Samuel in of
hostiities, but thanks to you am now ready
for the Dons"
DR.. Pierce's Common Sense Medical Ad.
wiser, In Plain English; or, Medicine Sim
paper-bound, sent for 81 one-cent stamps,
to cover cost of mailing only. Cloth bound
ten stamps more. Address DIR. K. v.
Pierce Buffalo, N Y.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08
wherein They Differed.

neers of her sex in medicine. heard
young physician deliver a fierce dia-
tribe against opening the doors of the
profession to women. When he ceas-
ed, she asked:
"Will you please tell me one reason
why they should not practice medi-
cine?"
Certainly. madam. They haven't the
muscle, the Drawn, the physical
strength"
81 see, sir. Your conception of
sickroom is a slaughter house. Mine
Is not."-San Francisco Argonaut.
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-12-08

One of the regular army officers tells
story Of how the old stringent army
regulations once went against General
Scott. One wet afternoon that soldier
was caught in the rain in Washington.
He was in full uniform and was well
known, so, no cab being mar. he bor-
rowed an umbrella. Arriving at his
hotel, an under officer approached him
and calmly remarked:
General, you will consider yourself
under arrest for eight days for carry
ing an umbrella while in full uni
form"