The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-03-31
H00D00 TANK AS
A PUBLIC READER.
His Experience as a Student of The
oIOgy in Arkansas.
HE WENT BROKE IN LITTLE ROCK
But Money Game Too Fast When He
Took the Platform Under Church
Auspices. ana lie Could Not
aud So Much Prosperity.
HE WENT BROKE IN LITTLE ROCK

and 50 Much Prosperity.
Ex-tank Oloodoo) No. 10 OF tho club OF
Former Alcoholic Degenerates went down
60 Washington 90 see the wlud-up Ok
Congress March 4tn.
1T made me lonesome said he IN talk
ins about IL after the regular order OF the
CLUB had been concluded tho other night.
Not that ] hdukered 10 be down on the
moor in tine middle ot tho bunch. IN WASH {
that. But % made me think OF the term
i put in when 1 Was % in the lower house
OF Ncb-Wel. what politics did 10 me was
a heap. Say. just ono month after my
stretcn 49, legislator was out / found
I myself standing ~ 90 tia waist ln the
water OF Colorado mine. f0Jhing WIN
q drill for wages That's what politics
aided and allotted by tho stun that flows
and unally throws, and tnat made the
organization OF the club pO5sib.e-that 8
what politics etc. did Tor me.
But II gave me some nerve. Before
l did that legislative stunt 1 could no
more turn d win-Out trick than duck
who 5 got q governor 10 telegraph To for
funds when 40 has slung down his last
card. After that, th0ush-well, had n
rOpO around my neck once and II didn' (
chuck any particular scare into me. Prob
ably J considered that a man might as
well be hanged as live around the Red
river district " Arkansas any longer.
Ihat was a queer game After the
Colorado mining job had held mo waist
deep IN water for n couple of months
kceied over with the tiELv- wizzy or some
thing. went OF my head for two or three
weeks, and the boys were fixing 10 send
me back home with proper escort and
me so the baggage car IN ii box. 1 fooled
en- on that. but the mining people
wouldn't give me any job back when
was able 10 get on my teet-said they
didn't think 1 could stand the gan. and
they didn't want 10 be held liable FOR
damages ir ! cruakcd from the gas Ia the
pit. 30 1 jabbed n pen-knirs into a map
after closing my eyes, and the point Of
the blade stuck in the Little Rock coun-
try Of Arkansas.
Ills EXPERIENCE IS LITTLE ROCK.
Now, when ] got into Little Rock one
October morning for the FIRST time the
sun WAS shining the town about as
diuky as usual. and / had alons with me
about SIS and the whole wardrobe with
which 1 had dazzled EN- when I was
serving my term lu the Legislature Tn
the State OF NeO-when / WAS ln politics.
This al seemed so unnatural that took
few then and there before breakfast
10 sort 20 bind the bargain. Then ! for
got ~ eat any breakfast. I forgot TO cat
my breakfast for about three weeks after
that. Now. any man that can stand Little
Rock red stun without eating anything
for two days much less two weeks. has
got 90 have had a whole big future be-
hind him az that kind of work. or itll
stop him Tor good and all. 1 was most
stopped AZ the wind-up Of the three
weeks. Also / was most broke. / woke
up one morning lu my room az tho MGR
chants Exchange Hotel and there was
"a pretty good locker OF duck sitting
in tho chair by the window reading the
morning paper and smoking pipe. only
remembered him vaguely and so / asked
him wherefore and how. Well. n seems
that he had been ms bosom pal and
chum during those three wteks-that ne
had run into me almost from the go-ol.
and that Wo had just burnt mp Llkile
Rock on that 50 OF mine and bunch
or so that he had become possessed OF
somehow or another himself. lie. now
ever. had snapped himself right about %
week before, and was when / mus made
his acquaintance nationally. feIing Ike
"a fOur-time winner while I saw charts
OF the ichthyosaurian period all over the
room. He sat around nv room Tor
couple OF days. getting me right ana
A FRIEND IN NEED.
" You're broke. ain yOuF said he T.
" Yep said l.
som L. said he so Wen have 10
hitch up and DO something. That rightT
81 told him that was about right. and
/ soon discovered that he had q whole
lot OF head on him. He'd been every old
tning-leather renOyatOr lawyer, book
agent. lobbyist. He had an idea.
" say he said 20 me- while I've been
sitting here listening 10 you talk bug In
your sleep It's struck me that you're all
right as "a reader. You didn't hurl any
"Curfew Shall Not Ring Tonight or
stuff like that at me. but you worked
OF "a lot of Mark Twain and Jim WHIT
Riley and Eugene Field sDiels when you
didn't know h. and 1 guess YOU must
have had some amateur nractice some
where al that game. How about IT,
81 told him he was about right and
then he sprung his graft.
FL s.rrF 81 q
Won and bin a. few towns announcing
YOU as a reader. I'l work up the church
end OF n. You can give your readings
IN the churches. see, and TN spread u
around that YOU re- young. brilliant and
promising theological student eudedN0r-
Ing 10 raise funds by reading sufficient
- enable you 20 complete vOur studies
We won't make any charge for admis-
sion. bur when we've got en- planted IN
the churches we'll pass around the plate
and I guess Wen get enough out of D.
that way Tor a meal ticket or 80. How
Il told him to 50 ahead and he did
lie had a pretty good front and alto
gether he was about as hustliug pal
10 tandem nap with as ever met. don't
know how he ever got the price or
ticket down 10 Arkadelphia- but ne got
There and hired a church for my nrst
reading. Then be spread himself around
among the population and threw 10 into
'em what n great man was going 10 APP
pear On their midst 20 read things 10
Them. [ got telegram from him TWO
days after he struck Arkadelphi@. 10
put one OF those overcoats In for
81 and come down here az once.
EASY TINE IN ARKADELPHIA.
Il followed copy and landed In ArSa-
delphla that same night, wearing my leg
sative black brOddcloth suit "a SILK hd.
ruined up to make 1t look Ike the toppets
OF theological students ought 90 look
when they're struggling Tor chance 10
pun sue their studies and "a pair Ot PLAIN
glass eyeglasses that 1 got for 50 cents
10 throw studiOusness into my makeup.
" You're good. AN right outside, SAID
my pal, when he met me al the Arkadel-
phia station. sizing me up. but you won Z
do. You're up against II. | made mis-
take this morning. and It's queered mo
dice. I'm afraid. Called on the old Pros
byterian minister here-Oue OF 'cm. Tor
] believe there are twO-and tried 90 en-
list him IN the game AMI succeeded.
mat the dickens Of Il. / succeeded. tie
wants 70 see you as soon as YOU get IN.
Now, he's sharper than a steel trap. and
he's got an eve like an eagle He's one
OF the Snrewdest old gentlemen | ever
met, and he's bound TO get next. He'll
run you into a corner before you've been
alongside OF him two minutes. And the
minute ne sees there's anything phOap
about Nou. ths reading business iockini.
ihe Weights, goes right up IN tho air
I'm afraid It's ali up. chum. He'll expect
you 20 talk Greek and Latin and when
you funk on that hell wonder