The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-01-26

what we might call a double confusion,
but the following is far better example.
A gentleman was burdened with very
profligate son. Speaking to his vicar con
corning him on one occasion, he used some
such words as these: q wish you would
speak to my son, and see if you can in-
fiuonce him in any way. He's turning out
a regular serapegoat" The clergyman,
who was keen etymoogist, was far more
pleased with the expression than with the
idea of retaining the prodigal. The word
intended was scapegoat, the meaning OF
which the speaker confused with scape-
graee-the word he should have used. He
was acquainted with both words. For
proof notice how the of scapegrace en-
tiers into the meaningless expression
scrapegoat while no such letter occurs in
scapegoat--a very curious instance of
mental inversion.
Quite as strange an instance of word
confusion owing to derivation was given
by an Italian gentleman who was not very
conversant with the English language.
friend called upon his host, and when he
had left the foreigner sat for some time
in silence. evidently deep In thought. At
length he remarked that the gentleman
who had lust departed was a doggy
man. He was asked for an explanation,
as no association of genus homo with ge-
nus CAMS is accepted in this country as
a commitment Thereupon it transpired
that the meaning intended by the Italian
was cynical" He had heard the word
used in its proper sense, but when ne tried
to recall it, nothing but the delNauoii oc-
CURED to his memory.
Two men, after serious quarrel We're
not on speaking terms. The kindly third
party. who is seldom wanting on such oc-
casions. eventually brought them together,
and led off with the words OF Cancellation,
sPm here to mediate between YOU His
mistake was fortunate one, as the enc
mics were so tckled by this unconscious
use of the wrong word that they shook
hands and became friends again. Less
bappy in expression was Canadian lady,
who, on being questioned concerning her
views upon the subject of fire versus earth
| for the human body after death, gave ut
teranca 10 a remarkable seutiment-she
was rather absent minded be II salu
"Weu YOU see one only gets buried once
| in lifetime! Cremated? Yes, l think l
| should prefer 1t, If there was only
| creamery handy" Creamery, we may OBJ
serve. is the equivalent in the dominion
| for the English dairy. Apropos OF TINS
last word how frequently it is spelt as
| diary by some people, and even pronounc-
| cd as such! In this respect 1t closely re-
| eonbIes the Latin word omina. Get sew
| eral people 10 read quickly any heXameter
| line where this word occurs. The chances
| are that the majority will pronounce II
omnia.
| A schoolbov wrote confidently in gram
mar paper: There are five bowels In the
| English language, with w ana y. An
| other boy, who together with lrlelo ~as -
| hauled before the headmaster, accused OF
hreaking boundaries, made a similar
| transnosition. His chum offered the usual
| scbooIbov plea of ignorance-it is mar
| ,,elous bv the way, how Ignorant the
sharpest boy can be of regulauons-and
| further protected himself by the assertion
that they had only traversed a rev yaIos
| az the forbidden territory, The master
| ,nrned 10 the other with the question,
| 80 n,hat have YOU to say?" The lad,
,yho had a penchant for the dangerous
bahit of using long words, replied;
s.plsase sir. Smith has made perfectly
,,racious statement" A certain noVel
anneared. containing the following re-
markable sentence: He struck his Knee
heavily with a great fish" The mistake
passed the notice of proot-reader ana au-
thor. while probably very Few readers no
ticed II.
Tho two following COMMISSIONS Of meaning
are OF the bank holiday order. Errors De
longing 60 this class are sufhciehHy hu
,nerous. for most people must have no
+ico5 mar the average costermonger OF
| lahorer never seems TO care what Wofd'
he may use in expressing himself, SO Ions
as his meaning is grasped. In the gardens
Of the Zoolosical Society couple wer
standing before the cage of the hyenas
while the man was commenting upon th'
habits of the beast for the benefit OF tbs
woman who hung 10 his arm. Inspired by
The knowledge and eloquence of her swain
she Young woman began 10 rack her brains
for original ideas with which to confron
him. Presently oue-the natural feminine
idea-came. Bill" she exclaimed, 'wha
ave these ere to do with marriage 2
.'Why. naught. you silly" retOrted Bill
unpolitey. They ave" she returned, tri
umphautly. when a couple are bein
spliced, we ears 'em talk of the hyena
| altar The sands OF Margate are indirect
ly responsible for this: Father, mother
and family were about to be photographs
by one OF the ittinerant beach hends, wher
one of the olive branches, an fear perhap.
Of the machine, He'd away with mother II
hot pursuit. The chase waXed long, for thS
urchin was blessed with sturdy legs, anC
mothers skirts impeded her. AT length
even father who was indnlvenf 10 q fault