The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1899-03-10
STEVENS STORY.

There was only one real trouble with
Bob Stevens, which was that he had a
story to tell And indeed this would have
been all we'll enough If he could ever have
disposed of it-that is, if he could ever
have told it. But fate must have medi-
tatcd a revenge upon Stevens. She must
have decreed that he should never finish
his recital. The fact is he was slow. He
was too exact, and too much cxactncss is
II fatal disease. consumption when it
fastcns itself upon art. We may praise an
exact man for his pains, but we deplore
his tediousness.
A reporter told mo he would get Ste
vcns' story, give him all the time he want
ed and print the thing in Monday morn
ing edition of his paper, that being the
day when there was room for almost any
thing, and he made an appointment with
him. But Stevens got drunk before he
had entered upon his home stretch, and the
reporter found he held tailless kite
whrling in the air.
1t was California story, relating to
the carly days of that wonderful country,
and l have since discovered that life is
full of unfinished California stories. l
don't know why man can't finish u Cali
s. " or Texas story, but there is some
t.: = the matter with California story.
stevens had lived u long time in the town.
The people were pcaceable and industrious,
and for years they were disposed to listen
to his story; they had given him every
opportunity man could desire; they had
even encouraged him. but he always fell
down. No one charged the fault to him
that is directly-but every one felt that
Il man, regardless of circumstances, should
be to some extent the master Of his own
story. 1t seemed, though, that Stevens
never could be the master of his nara
tive, and it became Il joke throughout
community marked for its whimsical love
of humor. Whenever au important stran-
ger came to town it was regarded ~ wit to
introduce him to Stevens and ask for the
story. Although this was often repeated
Stevens never seemed to appreciate the
fact that he was the object of ridicule
How often have 1 seen him ''wallop" the
tobacco about in his mouth with pleasure
Mt the thought that his time had come at
last, and how familiar were his introduce
tory words:
sit may not be of vital interest, you I'M
derstand-but'you never can tell what n
vital interest is till you have heard it, for
q story is not story till it's told-but it
was in 1919. Now of course there are
thousands of men in this community who
have grown up since then certainly, for as
you can well sec am no youngster, and
they may and indeed they have not any
patience with things that took place way
back there, but we haven't the time to
take them into account. ] have begun to
gauge u mans intelligcnce-surely n
young man s-by the way he listens to
something told by older men. Well'-
But are you certain, Bob, it was in
1892" some one at this point invariably
would ask Here look of trouble would
come into the na-rntor's eyes.
"Why, of course know what year it
was. have have all my life made it
point never to tell thing that hasn't
been thoroughly verified in my own mind"
But you know man is likely to be
mistaken
"Oh, l know that as we'll as anybody,
and no one could be more careful than
ain, because IL wouldn' It mislcad child
if could avoid it,"
1.-The misleading Of q child is a graver
offcnse in the sight of the Lord than the
misleading of n man." an authority on
morals and early frosts would here remark.
THAT true" Stevens would declare.
81 know it, and whenever l talk to
children always bear that fact in mind.
r.
But your story, BobG We all want to
hear it"
Yes; oil right. l suppose many Of you
older men remember old Leatherhcad
Dawson. Lived out here ON the old mill
tary road He''-
lis he the man who owned the tw o head
cd calf"
at was two headed pig"
mo; it was n calf.
"Wcll, now, hold ON. l ought to know,
for he and l wcrc''-
I'm bet you so it was calf"
On several occasions the money was put
up, but it could never be settled, though
Stevens always maintained, and some
times with violence, that the freak was II
pig. Once he called Sam Dabney Il liar,
and any one who knows the Dabncy FAM
lily can well imagine what the result
might have been had not some one sug-
gcstCd drink all around
AS Stevens became older nc became NOR
bid. Once he armed himself and swore
some one In that town must hear the end
of the story. The mayor, as dry fellow
rs ever tilted jug, called for volunteers,
and one man came forward or PathpP
was pushed forward He was turned over
to Stevens, and the others withdrew. The
story had proceeded, as was said, past the
fifth trot through the hobblc and into
the lcisurely walk when Stevens discov-
cred that the man was "a deaf mute He
sued the mayor, but justice in that COM
munity was slow, and the case never came
10 trial. In Il whimsical community the
sleep of the law is sound, and often Justice
sits nodding i'll the lazy sunlight.
Stevens was an expert accountant, but
he was usually out of employment. 1t is
singular that the most competent man in
a whimsical community is the first to lose
his job and the last to regain it. l don't
understand why this fact has not been
treated by .he political economist. Per
haps he will take it up when it becomes
more obvious and less interesting. Well
the proprietor of large hardware cstab-
lishmcnt offered Stevens the position Of
bookkcepor. The post was accepted
Stevens worked hard, and out of this APP
plication of the mind seemed to grow q
recognition of the fact that he had been
the butt or the ncighborhood So a long
time passed and he said not word about
l. -.