Chariton courier. (Keytesville, Chariton County, Mo.) 1878-current, 1899-03-24
The Signals ProbosciS.

III lIllO cAS q $e%h C4So JCEN(r
a comedy of errors, a murderous
butcher of the kings English-in
fact, a travesty on a newspaper-and
1t represents more and more, with
each succeeding issue, "a diarrhoea
of words and constipation of ideas"
1t falls blindly, hopelessly from one
error into another, and if it were
called upon to correct Its egregious
mistakes its explanations or apologies
would be worse, if possible, than its
original offenses.
People who are misrepresented in
the Signal, and who have no news
paper of their own in which to defend
themselves against the SignaPs as
saults, are taken at a helpless dlsad-
vantage. But this, fortunately, is not
the case with the editor of the CoUR-
Ter.
When the Signal goes stumbling
and blundering along the verdant
vista of its mystic career, and weaves
the editor of the COURIER and his
family affairs into the erratic chain of
its Thoughts on paper" we propose to
defend ourself as best we can.
This is why we spanked the Signal
two weeks ago. 1t made US and our
good wife the butt of one of its unkind
cuts, such as the editor of the Signal
INDUCES in for want Of good sense
and lack of regard for the truth,
although he assured US he was not re-
sponsible for the untruthful article
concerning the adoption" of young
lady into our family, but said that
Jim had told him."
Of course, owing to .Jim's" hav-
ing impaired the information upon
which the SigHaPs Misrepresentation
of our family was based, we held Edi-
tor Dameron blameless, and, under
the circumstances, we did tell him
that we were satisfied he had intended
no offense.
We demanded no apology, and said,
too, that it didn't make much differ
ence whether a correction was made
or not. Still, We supposed, in justice
to its readers and proper considera-
ton for the truth, the Signal would
make the ameHae HOHOrabe.
But instead of doing so, and after
the COURIER had made the correction,
the SignaL oh, horror of horrors! &C
cuses us of having equity knowledge"
We had no such knowledge at the
time, Mr.. Dameron, but since you
have practically confessed it we now
believe that you maliclously adopt
ed'' young lady 70 years of age into
our family; that her health failed On
your mind), and that although she was
our adopted" daughter she was re
quired to find another home on &C
count of impaired health"
Yes, indeed, Humpty Dumpty
Dameron, we now have knowledge"
that you were guilty of a malicious,
willful falsehocd when you made such
statements, and we d0 feel "guilty"-
because we did not tell you so then
and there.
We are not disposed to continue a
quarrel with our contemporary, but we
take grim pleasure in informing those
who are most interested in the Signal
that we are loaded to the muzzle, and
we do not intend to be held response
bic for the consequences if the Signal
gang keeps striking matches on the
CoURIER's powder magazine.
Another thing the Signal can ab-
solutely depend on is that it will al
ways get its proboscis dishgured when
ever If stiG6st ftPeeleG~can,in," R0r
home near Rock Springs chu
week.
Geo. Ashcraft and John Wi
arraigned in Justice Thomson
at Glasgow last Monday,
with stealing chickens. They
guilty to petit larceny and W
Cnivers. and X. Dc sFRtenfe OF 29,d
miles north of KeytesvtIle have cherry,
plum, pear and peach trees in bloom,