Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-09-03
ENJOYING HIMSELF.
THE IDLER ILLUMINATING AT FUR
PIE SULPHUR SPRINGS.
THE DAILY WATERMELON FEAC1S.
The "GcniaI Proprietor" Has nm OBJ
Ject in Serving Them-A Vivid De-
scription of the Spring and Life at
This ResOrt--A Literary Man.
Purple Sulphur Springs, y. W,
September !, 1893.
Denr Editor:

September !, 1899
Dear Editor:
To give you an accurate description Of
tho beauties Of this resort would consume
at least two sides Of your paper, and as
I see no compensation in such an under
taking for my worthy self. l therefore
boil down" my enthusiasm. II. occa-
sonally. I'm the perusal of this letter, you
detect little bits Of gush, you can put
them down as the crackiings which re-
main after the lard of my inspiration has
been thoroughly strained and purified.
But despite this brevity on my part, l 90
not concede that the purple sulphur
has ever been surpassed as a summer re-
sort. Were l sweet girl graduate. or
even a girl graduate who wasn't sweet,
/ would say that this place is perfectly
lovely" That expression, you know. is
the superlativo Of everything that's grand,
and pure. and noble, and inspiring. We
have here all the Injuries that so
month children and nurses, half-prlce)
can command, provided, of course, the
SO do not get in the habit OF commanding
too much.
In my plain, unadorned Hanover Eng
fish l shall eud6avor TO give you an IDEA
OF the life We lead here, though you
needn't expect any rhetorical ~ufiies,
grammatical frills, or point desprit
styles OF composition. To the lady cor
respondents who use the adjective
charming forty-hve times on every
page Of their manuscript, 4 leave the duty
OF weaving the garlands bouquets fune-
raj designs. &c, which make their letters
so irresistible.
The mountains hereabouts are Grim
soned with autumn-kisscd- sumac anG
look as red as the face OF a man who
won't let liquor alone. You have doubt
less noticed that all the springs CORE
spondents allude 10 the sumac and to the
autumn tints. but l wish TO put this
place on record as having more noun
ta.ns. more autumn tints, more sumac.
and rodder reds than any resort which
has hitherto been discovered by Column
bus. Our genial proprietor" when at
leisure-that is. when not adding unlock
editor items 10 our bills-spends all his
time calling attention to these blessings
and leading us TO think that he is re-
sponsible for them. If the heavens hap
pen 10 be particularly blue during his
periods Of idlencss ne will come out on
the verandas. and. smilingly rubbing his
hands together, say: 'Wen. how do You
like our blue sky today or Hasn't
the Purple Sulphur got cinch on me
weather." or words TO that effect. Az
ter the dclivorlnce Of these utterances
we feel profoundly and overwhelmingly
grateful TO him. We picture him getting
up at I A. Nj. and ordering a fine day, or
blue sky. or a bracing atmosphere just
as a man who had been out an night
would order a pitcher Of cracked ice or
a vial Of bromo-seltzer. Some Of as
however. are a little chary about gushing
too much i'm his presence over the eNcep-
tional advantages Of this place. We fear
that when we 20 to settle up we sna!l
find such items as these: For enjoyment
Of fine weather August 9th. s. LOT
breathing pure aii August 18th, 20 cents
"for enthusiasm over blue Sky, IS cents.
one has 10 be cautious at such places as
these. You are supposed 20 pay FOR what
you GET quite frequently, also, Tor WHAT
you don't get. Nly movements mere are
as cautiously and as stealthhy mace Us
those of a cat walking over a glacier IAe
least frivohty means half dollar OF SO.
I never get gay. except when l 90 10 Deu
at night aud am unseen
From the perusal Of eighteen summer
resort letters sent your paper from va
rious parts OF the state. / observe that
"entertainmehts have crowded upon one
another so rapidly that 81 is Impossible
To chronicle them That's not the way
of il here. At the Purple sulphur we
give one entertainment -ime 10 eaten It's
breath before We trOt ont another. Al
though we are gay and glddy, we 90 not
believe I'm gormandiz!ng fun nor are we
ike that unclean. twist-tailed animal
who doesn't know when ne has got
enough. And then, too, suspect that
many affairs which assume colossal pro-
portions in type are decidedly one-hofsey
ANA bob-tailcl in reality. We aris-
tocracy at this haven Of rest don't
expect To- rush into print every time we
plav anne OF cards or have "a wine
supper the cafe. or so horseback riding
AT y al hour, or dance the german,
nor do we wish our watermelon
feqsts to be described with that accuracy
and minuteness of detail which have
characterized the reports OF the DreyIus
trial. As "a matter Of fact, We DO nave
watermelon feasts ON the lawn every
day. II happens I'm this wise: Our genial
proprietor" is splendid mathema-
tician and close Of observer or human
nature and pOcket-bOOks. He knows from
his own experience that man who
eats watermelon at T. NJ. isn't going TO
bee much i'm a humOr for dinner ar i.
al. Furthermore be has ascer,alned that
il is cheaper 10 tender watermelon fcasts
10 his company than TO feed them on the
ordinary edibles which are expected o.
hotel proprietOrs: ergo. we ear melons