The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1899-10-27

At an assemblage of noted men
year or two Ggoa lawyer who conducts
the legal business OF great railway
system tried to guy the parson" In the
person of the late Bishop Williams Of
Connecticut by malicious quizzing. At
last he said: "Why won't you get these
railway managers TO give you a pass
over their roads, BishOp2 You can pay
for 1t by giving them entrance tickets
into heaven" "Oh, no." gently replied
the bishop II would not part them so
far from their counsel in the other
world"
Perhaps the worst recorded attempt
at an escape from conversational diff
ficulty was made by London East
End curate, who specially cultivated the
friendship of the artisans. One day a
carpenter arrived In his room, and, pro-
ducing photograph, said: "Ive
brought you my boys likeness, as you
said you'd like to have It," Curate rap
turously)-HOw awfully good of you to
remember! What capital likeness!
How is he? Carpenter-Why, sir, don't
you remember? He's dead. Curate-
Oh, yes, of course, know that. mean
how's the man who took the photo
graph2
Judge Waddy, Q. c., Of England,
while on a circuit would sometimes
Occupy local Wesleyan pulpit. On one
occasion the late Sir Frank Lockwood
arranged with a few kindred souls to
attend local chapel where "frlend
Waddy" was to lead the service. They
entered and occupied front seat un-
der the very nose of the lawyer preach
er, who, eying them askance, sOlemnly
gave out hymn and concluded by an
nouncng, after which Brother Lock-
wood win offer prayer" During the
singing, however, the learned Junior
recollected that he had an important
engagement elsewhere which doubtless
saved both the congregation and him
self trying quarter of an hour.
Roy Bean, at one time justice of the
peace In Langtry, Texas, administered
the law according to his own lights. He
held court in his saloon, and 1t was his
custom In minor cases 10 fine the de-
fendant drinks for the crowd" and ad-
journ court till the fine had been col
lected. One day he acted as coroner In
the case Of an unknown man found
dead ON the outskirts Of the town.
Nothing was brought out by examina-
ton beyond the fact that revolver and
two twenty-dollar pieces were found on
the corpse, whereupon Bean pocketed
both weapon and money, declaring that
"the deceased came to his death through
some unknown means, and, inasmuch
as 1t was guilty Of carrying concealed
weapons, against the peace and dignity
Of the State of Texas and this commu
nifty, the court fines 1t fifty dollars"
Justice Hawkins was on one occasion
presiding over a case In which tb,
plaintiff was giving evidence against {
man who had stolen pair of trouser!
from his shop. "HOw much were tht
trousers "1queried Hawkins. We'll,
replied the plaintiff, lit depends wh'
wants to buy them. j sell them TO ON
man for thirty shillings, to another fo
. twenty-five, but you can have them 70
twenty-three and six" "Sirw erie,
Hawkins, angrily; Il want you to tel
me how much those trousers ar
worth.s "Well," replied the plaintiff
"shall we say twenty-five shillings fo
your" Look here" Numbered Hav
) kins, ''if you do not Instantly tell m
e what those trousers are worth, I'll sen
you to Jail for fourteen days for col
Y tempt of court" "Well, well" replie
( the frightened plaintiff, conciliatingl!
"you may have them for guinea. II
,. giving them away; still, you may hav
d them at that price" Even the ster
e aspect Of Justice Hawkins could NJ
s stop the roar of laughter which brok
o out ON hearing the reply, roar
/ which Hawkins Joined himself.