Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-08-11
"RopIN's RoosT."
hpblN y h'ipolt
JOHNSON CITY, Team, March Is, 1899. !


JOHNSON CITY, Team, Mareh 10, 1899,
To the Bachelors
My DEAR OLD SoLITARY-Who mends
your socks? DO you sew on Your own
buttons? How long does it take you 10
thread the needle? Why I,on't you
brush the cobwcbS out of your soul,
and straighten up, and get good wife
to do all of these things for III? What
pleasure do you find in playing the
game of solitaire? Hearts are trumps,
and you cannot play happy game in
this world without partner. 1t is not
good that man should live alone. The
world owes you rib, and you ought to
have your old ribs cracked If you don't
collect the debt.
Why don't you rig up your matrimo.
NAL tackle, old boy, and go angling for
a "frau?' Your old pantaloons look
mighty lonesome hanging there in that
dusty wardrobe without some calico to
keep them company. Your room is a
poor paradise without fair Eve to
adorn it, | know what is the matter
with you; you are afraid of grocery
bills, and dry goods bills, ana doctor
bills, and curtain lectures, and the
overthrow of your independence and
freedom of speech, or else you are
afraid to pop the question: and thus
lose many golden opportunity by
simply looking at her and grinning like
basketful of 'possum heads Perhaps
you have popped the question" and
got No for an answer, but remember
that there are as good fish in the sea
as were ever caught" and remember
that she is somewhere in this wide,
wide world waiting for thee, darling.
Comb the feathers out of your whis-
kers, and put little bears oil on your
hair, if you have any hair, and spruce
up. Don't expect her to court you, but
do the counting yourself. Press your
suit gradually; and when you see she is
determined to "kick," "kicls" first, for
then is the time above all other times
to show your independence. A true
woman loves an Independent man next
to money.
Are you accommodating fortune? II
so, for whom? Did you never hear
Private John Aliens story of the di-
vision of an old bachelors estate?
When they were dividing it out among
his liinsfolls, one disgruntlcd relative
felt that he hadn't received his Just
proportion, and complainingly said 81
sometimes wish the old man hadn't
died"
| If you are poor, you need a good
woman to help you get rch If you are
rich, you need good woman to help
you get poor. In either case she is q
success.
For a man to pass through this world
without helpmeet is n strange philos
ophy to me; and yet have seen mel
with as noble hearts as ever throbbed
full of splendid sentiment and in love
with the beautiful, live out their days
in single wretchedness.
Bachelordom is a habit; the longer
INDUCED in, the harder to break, I'M
its victim is so infatuated with it that
1t seems impossible to quit. lie be
comes 'sot' in his ways; and all tho
frills, and bangs, and bustles, ant
gaudy shirt waists, and lowered ant
| foo tbarod bate ,ybiob Tho ,,,,1I;no,,', =, -,
can fashion, and all the bewitchinG
glances and persuasive smiles which
beauty can bestow move him not
neither do they unmovc him.
One Of the attendant misfortunes O
O bachelor is Observation-Disclosures
once heard of an absent-minded bach
elor who bought pair of new gloves
and went home with them and aston
ished his nephews and nieces by throw
ing the gloves in the fire and splitting
on the bed. OF course he intended t.
spit in the fire and throw his gloves OF
the bed. The best way to cure absent
mindedness is to get live, wide-awalSe
talking wife, whose tongue will be ;
constant reminder to you, and soor
teach you to think the right way.
II all men should follow your plan o
life, what would become of society anc
civilization? All the homes that nov
glow with the light of love and rinl
with the laughter and song of children
would soon be transformed into the 81
lent and sour domiciles of old maids
and just such old things as you. ! dc
not mean to speak harshly or to wounC
your feelings, but only to show you tn,
error of your way.
If you would enjoy life, you mus
have happy home; and If you would
have happy home, it must glow witt
happy smiles and ring with happy
voices; aud happy hands must keep i
neat and clean and plant flowers at The
| door.
| Home Is not merely four square walls,
| Though with pictures hung and giIded
| Home Is where affection calls,
Filled with shrInes the heart hath bullded.
| Home-go watch the faithful dove
Sailing through the heaven above us.
| Home Is where there's one TO love;
Home Is where there's one to love us.
/ have no doubt you will turn NJ
your nose and charge me with senti
mentality. plead guilty to the sof
impeachment. am sentimental, ant
have but little respect for the mar
who is not. 1t is the soul OF religion
and patriotism; it is the lifeblood of al
society; it is the essence Of love. Every
soul that ever found its say from eartl
TO heaven was waited there on thu
wings of sentiment; every brave spiri
/ l.