The times., 1899-02-19
PRESS AGENTS ROUND TABLE.

There are few better raconteurs than
Bert Thayer in the dramatic profession
a fact to which all his friends in The
Circus Girl company will cheerfully sub
scribe. Mr.. Thayer's latest story deals
with summer vacation. According to the
comedian. there is an old-fashioned farm
house up in Vermont. and 1t is kept by a
typical New Engiander, whose wife has
face that would never be mistaken for
her fortune. Mr.. Thayer has spent his
holidays with this family for many years.
One night during his last visit. on return
ing home rather late, he discovered
good-looking country swain with lantern
under the kitchen window. The proprietor
of the place noticed the man at the same
time and asked him his business there.
why. I've been a-courtin' Mary. sir.
replied the young chap with the light.
Well" said the farmer, what do you
want Of 4 lantern? | never used one when
| was courtin'.''
mo. SIR answered the amorous gen.
tleman. without hesitation, II don't think
you did-judgin' by the missus.''
But Mr.. Thayer does not relate the Sc
quel. Perhaps it is too sad for words
Z. II. Sothern's press agent is of an en-
| quiring turn OF mind. and so it is that
while in Chicago recently he managed to
oyerhear an entire conversation held in a
| street car. The talk was at first general
between three newsboys. but it finally re-
solved itself into a monologue, and the
representative discovered that one OF the
| lads was describing his stars new version
| OF THE Three Musketeers." This narra-
tive is reported as follows:
We'll. dey got guy here now dat | see
de oder day uptown, an he's a corker.
coughed up a quarter ter get mex ter him
l an | 0in't prCf NJ LicE lin IL
ten cents-nixey. Talk O. ". S. Woods.
why. dis geezer truns it inter him in great
| shape: makes reglar doose o. him His
name is Eddie Suddern, an de ole loafer
what set mex ter me was a-teiIin' his dana
dat Eddie's dad was one o. de best acters
IN de worit, an, thinks / ter myself. he'd
be mighty glad If he could only see how his
! son was a-keepin' up de ole mans record
an settin' pace fer de rest ov de push.
Wy, honest, he lays all over dat bloke
what was in de burg last week an made
1oiks knock out two plunks ter see his
| beak.
| DE play Is daisy-full O. fghtin',
aidough dey might trun in a bowieknifs
scrap widout hurtin' de show any Eddie
has de part ov young jay from de coun-
try at comes ter Payris lookin' Ter q
| Job In de army. In de first act he's a
reg lar farmer-a cinch fer de green goods
men-but he's a dead game sport JUS de
same an wen de gang gives him kid
about de skate he's straddlin' he pulls
his sword an sails inter 'em like Fitz-
simmons would do ter lot O. dead uns
Hes allus scrappin an he don't caro-
| who he goes up against. neidor. Dere's
tree big guys-dey belongs ter de Mos
quito Guards-an' I'm damned if his Jay
lets don't buck de hull tree an wants ter
| lick EN- wun after de odder- Wun ov ems
big yap wild phoney belt. It's all gold
in front but he didn't have enough ter
make decent bluff wild. so he went an
| cut de trimmin' OFF de back SOS ter put it
| ALI were de DANES could get peek at ii,
| Eddie gifts mex an de big stiff plays sore.
| Dere was annuder bloke. sort O. lady
| killer. his name waS-lemme see, / got il
| on de programme here-A-ram-us; dat's
de guy.
| Well, Eddie makes a break about some
| girls wipe wat de dizzy geezer drops on
| de floor an dat makes annuder row-Eddie
bein' right in it all de time an Iookin' fer
more. De odder soldier-he's built on de
expanshun plan; one ov dem proud guys:
| lots ov dig. yer know. He's been scrap
| pin, too. an some ones uppeT-cut him in
| de shoulder; so wat does Eddie do but
| run ap agin him an soak him on his sore
spot De sick guy-his name is A-thos an
| dat's Dago fer somethin cause it amt
his real handle-he starts in ter trow a
| bluff at Eddie, but il don't go an Eddie
makes a date wild him. Den de hull push
meet ter fight it out-naw. not wild de
| gloves, but wild swords Den Richieloos
blokes come in like n gang ov coppers ter
| spoil de mill an before yer know it Eddie
! says ter de tree guys he was goin' ter
| scrap Come ahead. fellers. an we'll lick
! de stuffin outer dis pushi' Well, mebbs
I dey don't. Wy. dey clean out de peelers
| in great shape an wen de tree guys see
/ wat q serapper dere up against dey say:
! Leave us be friends an Eddies havin'
taken q likin' ter dem hisself. says: I'm
| wild yer ter de finish. Den dey grab
| lunch hooks an from dere on dey works
/ de same side Ov de street togedder.
We'll. de game gifts putty fast. Eddie
| goes an gifts stuck on a dame wat works
| fer de queeH-an mebbe she amt queen.
neidori Den he goes an gifts mixed up
| wild a diamond deal an t'rows down de
| cardinale, an ole guy in a red skirt. de
worlt like de apple woman in Alone in
| Moo York Well. it's hot stuff all troo:
yer don't git no time ter t'ink afore Ed
dies outer one scrap inter annuder. Ed
dies an acter. He beats n. s. Woods.
Ward an Vokes. Ralph Cummin's. and de
| hull mob. Eddies a wonder. He can have
my dough every time, an 6s.s no lie