Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1899-09-21
Che Prank& of Napoleon.


bite. Has Mt got enough sense to-
He's all bark, and how can you expect
anything that is all bark to bite, eh?"
The scene is a country print shop
The editor is little care-worn individ-
ual, with a bald head and melancbol-
ly expression. The person addressed is
Of the genius farmer tall and broad
shoudered, with the happy look that
characteristics one Of his occupation.
The dog is Of mongrel breed and from
behind a press is exhibiting savage
row of teeth and emitting terrific barts.
"Shut up, Napoleon!" and thus ad-
monished the dog subsidized into growls
very similar to the rumblings Of a dis
tAnt thunder storm.
"Sit down" said the editor to his
guest, at tho same time pushing chair
towards him, "glad to see you. How
are the crops up your way? Wheat
much damaged by the overflow Plow-
ed all your land yet? Any births,
deaths or marriages in your neighbor-
| hood?"
No" said the farmer, comfortably
settling himself in his chair, there
Amt no weddings up there. Folks s
most too poor to get married, and some
of em is too poor to die Haw, haw,
haw, So everybody keeps dragging
along somehow. But what do you want
with such dog as that, anyhow"
"Well, you see, said the editor, "we
raised MIN from pup and consequent
ly feel sort of attached to him, and OF
course that has great deal to do with
it, l believe he's the worst nuisance
we over had, a regular pest Keep maxi
ing resolutions to get rid of him, but
never do it. Makes me mad as fire
sometimes, but still he boards at the
same old place. The other day a tramp
came in here-the raggedest, drtiest,
fllthiest specimen you ever laid your
eyes on--and that miserabladog fawned
upon him as if he was an old acquaint.
ance that he had MT seen for years 1t
made me feel absolutely ashamed Of
myself to see how joyful that dog was
to meet that dirty, lousy tramp. Itap-
peaged to be case OF mutual relation
ship.
THE other day Col W came into
the Office. Ihad noticed him coming up
the street, and tell you was mighty
glad TO see him coming for knew from
the resigned expression of his counte-
nance and halting footsteps that be bad
about $1,000 in legal fees for me. Well,
sir, that dog sprang up the minute the
Colonel entered and tried to make
mincemeat of him. Somehow or other
in the melee the brute got between the
Colonel and tho front door and he had
to make his retreat by the back door.
had a vision of him as he passed tha
disturbed me to the soul The Colonel
sped for the nearest apple tree, the in
fernal boast nipping hitn at every juml
and by the time he was safely enscon
seed in the branches Of the tree haC
torn his brand new 1O-dollar velveteel
pantaloons to shreds and tatters,
took piece of iron and pounded th
dog into submission, but the Colone
was so mad that he said the ten dollar
would just pay for his pants and h
walked off with it. tell you it abou
broke my heart"
"Pshaw," said the farmer, "I'd xii
him, In fact I'll do the job for yo
with the greatest of pleasure,
NO" said the editor, 81 don't wan
him kined-not for the present at leas
for find him mighty handy som'
bimes. You know young B.? Nc
? Well, he is the most persistent dunno
Il you ever saw, l owed him four dollar
and the other day spied him maxim
for this office. Immediately discove
ed that had business that require
me to leave by the back door at ono
and went out leaving Napoleo
inside went we'll out of hearing an
did not return for half an hour. Ever
thing was lovely, There we're fe
chairs knocked over, and found a bu
ton or two lying on tho floor, but the
we're no signs of B., not even no
scribbled on my writing pad orderir
me to settle up at once or be sued. N
" poleon licked his chops in selt-sau
Y fed manner, and noticed that he seer
n ed somewb at distended about the reggie
u Of his dinner but, sir, beyond the
n suspicious circumstances there W
nothing to indicate whittier young B.
had gone. Do you suppose that NapC
con ate him2 Sometimes / think th
J Napoleon, acting contrary to the Gu
tom Of the magazines, did not wish
refuse bis manuscript even If 1t was
u bill, and in his haste to accept il &C,
dentally swallowed the collector. b
is not very large, and it may have iu
J. possibly happened It was an uniort
nate occurrence but that dog had gre
head on him that daY."
The farmer had listened with int,
est. lie thrust his hand into his poe
.a ct and brought forth 8 greasy-looki
purse, from which be slowly abstract
a 2-dollar bill.
Here, said be handing il 70 the 4
itor, II came in to-day to pay my 81