West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1899-08-10
BowSER S TROUBLES.
AND DESTROY THE HOUSE.
HOLD PEACE.
The Old Man Got Soft and Gentle as
Lamb, Butt Didn't Last
Long.

-
scr read his newspaper and smoked hls
Cigar aud now aud then uttered n
gruut OF satisfaction, and Mrs. Bowser
Interested herself in book and
stroied tho cat purriug on her lap.
Bv and by Mr.. Bowser kicked off one
slipper, cracked his toes aud observed
"ltevery man had a quiet, peoccfu
home like th's the world would bo ten
times better than IL is"
II am glad YOU are satisfied" re.
plled Mrs. Bowser as she looked up
Il am not only satisfied" replied
MIR. Bowser AS she looked up: ~ am
not only satisfied, but ashamed OF my
sc I, expect I'm the worst kicker on
h, and how you manage to put up
with me is matter Of wonder Every
time we have n row
But we have no rows she inter
rupted.
We don't Why wo have EN- by
the hundred. It's Awmuy good OF
you To pretend To the contrary, but
I'm not going To spare myself As /
was saying, every time we have "A row
feel mean and conscious stricken
over it and make IA solemn vow not to
do so again. | wish | were "A different
man
you are good enough husband
for any body. Lots OF little thugs
happen TO put you out, and at such
times you say moro than You mean.
/ guess all husbands are that way"
MIR. Bowser began TO grow soft. His
heart swelled, "A lump worked into his
throat aud there was IA tear in either
eye AS he PatheticallY exclaimed
"Dnrn my hido. but I'm an old
reprobate on wheels / wouldn't have
blamed you in tho least II you had an.
plied for u divorce long ago. There
are times when ought to be taken
out aud kicked around the block for
the way ! talk to you
Mrs. Bowser went over tn him and
Patted him on the head and kissed him
and told him he was as good as pold.
and when lao could control his voice
again he replied;
you are the best wife man ever
had, and II / ever kick up another roa
around this house hope to bs blown
over the back fence by a tornado" "
Then sweet-cider calm settled
down over the household again. nnJ
the cats purred, and the clock ticIsei
and the cook downstairs sang II Want
to he an Angel When bedtime cam.
Mr.. Bowser looked as soft and humble
as 6.Yenr old boy after a sn,nki,,,
and Mrs. Bowscr was thankful dow,
to tho bottom Of her heart TINT his re-
pentanco hadn't ended in a row Ry
And by tho lights were turnod out. the
doors locked and tho Bowsera slont
As Mr. Bowser lay on his back viii
ms nose pointed TO the ceiling and his
ia )uth partly open, tear forced itself
ons OF his right ego and stood glistcn.
ing on his cheek as Il living proof that
ne was done with kicks and rows
And tho policeman on that beat leanod
mp against the fence and took n nan
ana the crickets came out OF their
Iairs and sang sweet melodies and
thore were whispers in the back ward
as dozen or more guardian angela
gathered in convention. OF sudden.
aud with no more warning than the
coming Of a cyclone, Mr. Bowser
jumped out Of bed As he jumped he
yelled. and after his yell no added:
Thunder and blazss and lightning.
but I'm dead man! Wake up Mr..
Bowser-for heaveas sake, wako up!"
"W-whats tue maJter2' she asked
AS she was aroused from her dreams.
I've been stabbed or shot or some
thing! Where's the matches2 Where's
the gasp
In his confusion Mr. Bowscr made "a
dash and the edge Of the open clothes
press door came into collision with his
head. He went down with yell. and
was badly mixed up with chair and
bedstcad as Mrs. Bowsor struck "a
match and turned on the gas
For the iuud's sake. but what is ali
ihis aOout?' she demanded a. She
turned 90 him.
5truct down bY o sand bag ip lb.
hands OF burglar'' hc Va.ppI as fac
untaugIcd nimself
"Nonscnsc. no burglar has been Zoo
the house You must have had uigh
mare
"but got crack on MY hcad" bee
protested as bio hand went up to the
lump
"You must bayc run against that
closet door. What were you dreaming
OF as you woke up?'
"Not blamed thing. The first
knew frlr'.-
hr bowser's hand went up 60 bis
chin and he walked over to tle
To- the dresser oni looked into The
glass Then he turned aud holrscly
whispered.
90 knew it knew BOO Woman. rm
o dead man unless W. eau geta doctor
here inside OF l1 minutes"
"Nnat is it, what do you meau2'
I've been bitten bv KISSING nu 2
There's the mart! As slept bo cam.
stealing ,o here aud set bod. teeth into
my chin We must have the docto. az