The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-02-12

| else would run away with me the nTSt
time went out to drive. theoretically
! know whole lot about horses, but
| practically l am very ignorant. /
thought that If could buy a small
! horse that was just sproutlng, yon
know, l might study his Characteristics
and bind him to me by many little acts
| of kindness. No, I would not attempt
full-grown horse
| The dealer left Mr.. Rays with part
ing suggestion that he buy donkey.
Mr.. Rays stopped three commuters in
succession as they were hurrying for
their trains next morning to ask each
What do you know about donkeys?'
Humor and profanity were SO mixed
IN their replies that the total 1nIorma-
ton collected did not amount to much.
MIR. Rays was persistent. however, and
at the end Of week every sewing cir
Gle in town held an extra meeting NOM
inally to make wooden underclothes
for the Cubans and really to discuss
the report that Mr.. Rays intended to
buy donkey.
My husband tells me-" said the
president Of the Every Other Week
club, that all donkeys bray at night.
terrible. just think of being aroused
each night by donkey's bray. We
must protest."
When I was South" said the secre-
tary, Il heard donkeys bray, and can
assure you that a sea lions roar Is
music compared with it. Now is the
time for us to act and act quickly If
we would save Lancaster Knoll. Mr..
Rays is reasonable. Let us argue with
him.
The delegation which called on Mr.
Rays two weeks ago was composed OF
the president OF the village, one MEM
Der from each of the sewing circles and
tf1t1l n mol 1y1Sr
society. They found the literary man
deep in recent report of the secretary
of agriculture.
Come right in," said Mr.. Rays hos
pitably.
Our errand, Mr.. Rays" said the viii
lage president, lis unpleasant. We have
heard that you propose to buy dom
key"
BY gracious, I wonder how you
knew" said Mr. Rays, dropping his
glasses in surprise.
1T is true, them"
Yes, to be sure it is. Have you come
to tell me where 1 may buy one?'
I'VE have come to protest" said the
president, ION behalf of all your neigh
bors. A donkey's bray is terrible
noise, and it would be great detri-
ment to Lancaster Knoll to have one
within the village limits"
Mr.. Rays thought of several smart
replies to make to this statement, and
while he was hesitating which one to
use the president asked:
| Have you ever heard a donkey bray,
sir?''
You mean the real donkey?"
Yes. sir"
well. no, I haven't" said Mr. Rays,
''but if I buy one will take such care
of him that he will never bray"
The visiting delegation, individually
inf r
Rays what donkey's bray was like
and they cautioned him against import
ing any such nuisance. Mr.. Rays list
ened politely and then informed his
neighbors that it was not his intention
| to injure the fair fame of Lancaster
Knoll, and that if he found that science
| had provided no cure for a donkey's
bray he would not buy one. The dele
cation departed, satisfied that they had
| accomplished their purpose, and Mr..
| Rays returned to his agricultural re-
port. Shortly before midnight Mrs.
Rays and the little Rays were aroused
by loud whoop FROM papa'S library. It
sounded like an exultant cry, but Mrs.
Rays hurried into the room to discover
the occasion of 1t. Mr.. Rays was dane
ing around the roomHWaving a report of
a former secretary of agriculture.
I've got it! Whoop-ee, I've got it.!
We will have our donkey after all, my
| dear. Hurrah for the secretary of agri-
culture"'
What has he got to do with our dom
key, Jacob?' asked Mrs. Rays.
/ TELLS how to prevent donkey from
braying. Now, don't ask me any more,
for l want to keep this remedy as a
surprise. They have made fun of my
garden, and I'll teach them a trick
about donkeys that will surprise them. "
| Mr.. Rays announced the following
day that while he appreciated the pub
| lie spirit of his neighbors he intended to
buy a donkey, and he would guarantee
| that it should not disturb any one by
his braying.
''If l can't raise vegetables T will
raise donkeys," he added, land that
will be just as truly rural"
| No argument could move Mr.. Rays,
and hence the intended action of the
Lancaster Knoll Temperance and De-
batting society. Mr.. Rays has asked for
the privilege of speaking against the
| resolution, and he is already gloating
over the crushing blow which he is 60
| ing to deliver to the Lancaster Knoll
| anti-donkey party.
Il have an unanswerable argument
in favor of the donkey" said Mr.. Rays
land its only weak point is the fact that
| my authority is a report of a secretary
of agriculture. 1t sounds fair and I
| want to tell it to you because you don't
live in Lancaster Knoll. By making
a few guarded inquiries you may be
able to get the additional information
on the subject. The only objection to a
donkey is it's bray. In other respects it
is above reproach. Now I have found
a preventive for braying which is
vouched for by cabinet minister and
it will knock the opposition dead. In
this agricultural report | find the state
ment that when donkey brays he in
variably raises his tail. Do you catch
my idea? No? Why, it is simple.
IF l can only prevent my proposed
donkey from raising his tail he will bs
unable to bray. won't he? Now. my
plan is this: Every night when I put
my donkey in his stall I am going tc
hitch a weight on his tail. There yor
are! When his tail is weighted he CAM
bray. Let them get around that If they
can. Donkeys only bray at night. Ny
donkey won't bray at all. unless I forge
to put on the weight. Isn't that dis
covery. Just wait until the Debating
societys January meeting and I viii
teach a trick worth knowing"
| ''Rnt 6onkPVtS tail iS near his heals