Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-12-27


lutely nothing in it.
rs your new play comedy or trag,
edy?" I can't tell until see how the
audience takes it.'-Chicago Record.
''she goes in for realism doesn't she?'
Yes. indeed, Even the clocks on her
stockings are striking" Philadelphia
Record
Dewey believes in short engage
ments,' remarked Mrs. Snaggs yes,
the Spaniards who were at Manila last
year can testify to that.'-Pittsburs
Chronicle-1eleGraph.
Hatte-So Jack is engaged TO Fannie.
Ella Yes. poor fellow He'll probably
never know what he missed. Hattie
Why. what do you mean? Ella-That
lie could have had you for the asking.
What" asked the sentimental young
Woman was the most touching Incl
dent you ever witnessed?" And, after
some thought, Senator Sorghum an
swered with emphasis. An election
Washington Star.
Physieian-Y should repose on the
right side only in order TO enjoy a good
nights rest II is positively injurious
to lie on both sides. Patient-But how
can help 1t, doctor? You seem to have
overlooked the fact that l am lawyer.
Chicago News.
Couldn't Decide.-"Hark, do you hear
that man on the front seat? What I'M
der heaven is that gibberish he's talk
ing?' Hes reading list of Beer
words and their definitions" well.
Thought it must be that orgoif. "--Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
Jack-You won't let me have a v?
Why. you loaned an \ to Jones, and
he's almost a perfect stranger to you.
Toin-Well? Jack-Well, I'm an old
friend of yours Tom Exactly, Jack,
and | don't want to lose you.-Catholic
Standard and Times
'These sky-scraping flats have
knocked the stuffing out of romance
said the young man. Yes" said the
other young man. they have. Fancy
serenading a girl who lived in the fifth
story. with brass band and mega
phone" -Indianapolis Journal.
Teacher-Now, little girl | have told
the class about the wicked place being
what do you suppose heaven is paved
with? Little Girl with delightful rec
objection of fresh-air picnic)-Ham
sand witches, bananas an pie.-Harlem
Life.
Mrs. Stubb--John, what in the world
are you doing with those boxing gloves
in one hand and the remnants of dinner
in the other? Mr.. Stubbs--Maria, there
lis a tramp own-stairs who says he is
looking for scraps. l want to be GER
tain which kind he means.-Chicago
News.
Don't you wish you had minded
me?' said the stern mother as she piled
the paddle to her erring son with mon
otonous frequency and vgor. Il wish"
said Johnny, as he tried to twist around
so that the paddle would strike him
slantingly, 81 wish | wuz orfing."-
Ohio State Journal.
81 wish now shrieked the angry
Young wife. Il wish now, Frederick
Harrison, you had married Edith Mac
mahon instead Of me! That's what l
wishr' Il would have married her."
yelled the Infatuated husband, ''only she
wouldn't have me and you would
Cincinnati Enquirer.
They babe each other an affectionate
farewell at the door. Where is he
goingY" asked neighbor. For little
Haunt on the bouleyards with his auto
mobile" replied the wife, but one Of
the crank pins seems TO be little loose
and there is no telling when he will get
back" Chicago Post.
1T dunno how Bills a-goin' to vote
in this election" said the campaign
worker; I've heard tell he's on the
fence" He wuz thar" replied his
neighbor, ''but one O the canderdates
let fall dollar on the off-side o the
fence. an Bill got dizzy. an fell over"
Atlanta Constitution.
! when my wife gets to jawing," said
the man with the frayed cuffs, IT pre-
serve dignified silence" Yes, / heard
about it." said the man with the blue
Ioveralls. II heard your hired girl tell
ing our hired girl that you was the best
hand at settin' round an sulking she
ever seen."-Indianapolis Journal
Now, General Aguinaldo," inquired
THE interviewer, do you think that the
Filipinos can possibly get the better OF
the Americans? In the long rum
yes," And the Generals eyes danced
as he watched his army preparing for
a ten-mile dash into the deeper recesses
OF the forest.--Detroit Free Press.
She-Harry, Kate Snowfall has dia-
mond ring that her lover, Fred Stilton,
gave her. Funny that you never gave
me any diamond ring. He-Nelde, It IL
only girls who are not precious in them
selves who require the establishment
lof precious stones. She-Oh, Harry,
what a dear fellow you are!-,Boston
Transcript.
manly hoy of TX entered the off1ee NJ