davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
He Is Learning Now.

Agent-The Barows haven't asked for a
cents worth of repairs this spring. What do
you think of that?
Landlord-Im not surprised Barlow got
a house through trade few weeks ago and
is so busy filling the wants of tenant of his
own that he has forgotten about bothering
us.-Chicago Evening News.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

Mister" said Wandering Mike, will
you gimme something SOS ! can 60 some
where's and eat?" The politician looked at
him thoughtfully and exclaimed: "Ihat
shows how we all have our troubles. Here
you are with no place to go and eat, and
here am half worried to death because !
can't keep my invitations to banquets down
to anything like a reasonable limit. Wash.
inCtop Star
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

eyes, sir, | have come to ask you for the
hand of your daughter" 'For Isabel s
hand?" eyes, sir. 1t is a mere formality,
know, but we have thought it would be
pleasing to you to have Inc go through with
it," What, that? A mere formalityy'
"And may inquire who suggested that ask
ing my consent to my daughters marriage
was only mere formality" 1T was lisa
bels mother, sir" "lsabel's mother? Then
! have nothing further to say."-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
An ImpressiOn.

"Of course" said Miss Cayenne, "you
saw the show places of the French cap
ital, as all tourists do. But did you
mingle with the people there, and get
really acquainted with the city? Did
you see Paris proper?'
"No;" answered Willie Washington.
"To tell the truth, didn't think Paris
ever was that way.'-Washington Star.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

A model young mans characteristics are
honesty OF speech, responsibility Of carriage,
industry of mind and consideration for 9th
ers. With these young man is as model
as it is given for IN earthly being TO be-
Ladies' Home journal.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
ingenious. INT PrecIre.

"Are you the defendant in this case?"
asked the judge sharply.
mo, subj" answered the mild-eyed
prisoner. 81 has a lawyer ter do de de-
fendin, Use de man dat done stole de
,hticles. Washington Star.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

mo man who has ever seen the light
ming flashing across the sky observed
Uncle Allen Sparks, coming out of his
reverie, twill wonder at any crooked
ness in these electric lighting COM
panies. Chicago Tribune.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

"You will regret this" he said, when
she refused him.
Possibly" she replied, but it will
be only one of bunch of regrets"
Thus was the blow softened.-Chi.
earn Post
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

Perpetual Notion Here is the phil
osophy" of perpetual motion, as solved by
an up to date philosopher; Rags make pa.
per. Paper makes money. Money makes
banks. Banks make loans. Loans make pow
erty. Poverty makes rags. Rags make
well, just keep on repeating the above
Boston journal.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

She has made her own hat; and she looks
In the glass,
While the anxious frown on her brow in
creascs.
She has carefully put 1t together, alas
For the other women to pick 1t to pieces.
-IudCe.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
Punishment.

Smith-What do you think of this
Cuban land scheme of Browns? He
says things are booming and the peo-
pie there already speak of Cuba as the
future state.
Jones--I guess they've got it about
right. was there once in August-and
! saw the people, Hope won't go there
when | die.-N. Y. World.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
Pretty Strong Evidence.

what do you think she married him
Tor? For his money!"
He was the man who cast the decid-
ing vote in favor of that 99-year fran
,hise, wasn't he?" - Chicago Daily
News.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
ReyengefuI Comment.

Think of the impudence of that lee
turer in requesting the women to re-
move their hats"
well, ] suppose he wanted every
body to see that he is bowlegged."-
Chicago Record.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
Depended on circumstances.

How many persons can you crowd
into a carr" | asked the conductor.
THAT depends on whether they are
married folks or couples thinking
about it," he replied. - Philadelphia
North American.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
Quoting Scripturc.

Mrs. Dorcas-Why do you think the
new women will never be successful in
their attempt to get the earth?
Dorcas-Because, my dear, the good
book says the meek shall inherit the
earth.-Judge.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

Mendicant lin disgust)-Them edi-
tiers is liars, every one o them. Here's
two columns in this paper about tn
good times an tn piles O. money layin'
idle, an | haven't taken in a cent this
mornin'. -Harlem Life.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
Not Very Much.

Miss Oldgirl-Do you think Mr.. Sniff
kins is sincere when he writes that he
loves me more than tongue can tell?
Miss Peachblow-I dare say. He's
tongue-ticd, you know.-Kansas City
Independent.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

There is an ancient and dreadful sword in
China. 1t gives to the man who happens to
hold it the power to cut of the head of any
one he wishes without danger of punish.
ment All people flee from this sword as
fearfully as stomach ills flee before the APP
proach Of liostetter's Stomach Bitters.
This famous remedy cures all forms of stom.
ach troubles, beginning with constipation
and ending with liver or kidney disease. It
will be found in all drug stores and it al.
ways cures.
We cling to our faults with frmer grasp
than we do to our virtues.--L. A. w. Bul.
letn.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

"And when I'm gone" he, trembling, cried,
"Will you remember me?"
II WILL" the weary girl replied
Just try II once and see."
Chicago Daily News.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
Poetling-Now Id like to read you
my latest poem.
Girl-You're mistaken if you think
can't neutrality-suspicious. Blaetter.
Illusions.

Before you praise youths industry
IT'S prudent now to walt
And see which he is digging for,
a garden crop or bait.
washington Star.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

The service of the Nickel Pate Road to
New York City and Boston is a demonstrat.
ed success. The demands of the travelling
public are met by providing three peerless
fast express trains in each direction daily,
These trains are composed of modern, first,
class day coaches, elegant vestibuled sleep.
ing cars between Chicago, New York and
Boston, and unexcelled dining cars. Solid
through trains between Chicago and New
York have uniformed coored porters in
charge of day coaches, whose services are
placed at the disposal of passengers. II you
want to travel comfortably, economically
and safely, see that your ticket is routed via
the Nickel Plate Road
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
The BENEFITS.

Opdyke-What's the use of arguing
with woman? You can never con-
vince her.
Depeyster-True. But think of the
pleasure it gives the woman.--Brooklyn
Life.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
unused.

"Life's all Joke" some will contend,
And gayety intense reveal
Whenever an unwary friend
Has slipped on luck's banana peel.
--Washington Star.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
Drawing the Line.

Young Lady-Do you think it immod.
est for ladies to ride bicycles?
Bicyclst-Oh, the riding is all right
enough, but-er-I don't think they
ought to take headers.-N. Y. Weekly.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
Wa. in the Wrong ONCE.

Agent-My dear sir, do you know how
much time you lose dipping pen into the
ink? Ten dips minute means 600 dips al
hour or 5000 dips in ten hours, and eacl
dip consumes
Business Man-Yes, l know; l hav,
worked it all out.
and yet | find you still writing in tn,
old wayy"
yes, am using the fountain pen you sold
me about month ACCUSING it in the old
way because it won't write any other way"
Beg pardon; I'm in the wrong office.
Good-day. "-Pearson's Weekly.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
The Ruling Passion.

Janet do love the spring! Doesn'tit
bring to mind all the best and loveliest
things of life?
Estclle-Yes, indeed; ] haven't done
a thing this week but shop for shirt
waists.-N. Y. Truth.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
Do Your Feet Ache and Burnt

Shake into your shoes, Aliens Foot-Ease,
powder for the feet. 1t makes tight or New
Shoes feel Easy. Cures Corns, Bunions,
Swollen, Hot, Callous, Sore, and Sweating
Feet All Druggists and Shoe Stores sell
it, Csc. Sample sent FREE. Address,
Allen s. Olmsted, LIE Roy, N. Y.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
Gone Forever.

Take back your gold" the singer cried.
at was not gold" the man replied,
TWAS copper, and It's lost, ween,
For dropped It In slot machine"
N. Y. Evening Journal.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
No Genius There.

HAS your son hobby of any kind?"
mot that know Of"
"Then l am sorry for you and him.
He will probably never succeed in be.
ing singled out from among the crowd"
cleveland Leader.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
For His Health.

He goes to his club downtown,
He boxes, and he bowls,
And leaves his wife to split the wood
And carry in the Goals.
Chicago Tribune.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

snow, look here, my man, was pass
ing this way yesterday, and saw you
with crutches and a placard saying you
were lame"
quite true, sir, but business is bust
ness, and you know the public must
have variety."-Judy.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
On Hone.

Men paint Hope as an angel in thin clothes
But It's not so;
Hope is the hay tied DER donkey's nose,
To make him go.
= Mica on Record
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

Shopper-What is the real difference
between these two materials?
New Clerk-Fifty cents a yard.
That's all.-Harlem Life.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
Evidence.

Mrs. Witherby-Th say that husband
and wife grow to look like each other more
and more all the time.
Witherby--I have noticed how handsome
you were getting TO be-Detrot Free Press.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

Actor-When ! stand on the stage |
see nothing and am conscious Of moth
ing but the role am playing. The au-
dience disappears entirely.
Friend-Well, can't blame the audi
ence much for thatl-Unsere Gesell-
schaft.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

He was caught redhanded, but that made
no difference. He might just as well have
been caught blue handed or green handed.
as indeed he often had been. lie was dyer,
you SEEN. Y. journal.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

"Tetterine cured me of very annoying
case of itching piles in few days. IT. l..
BEDSIDE, Tallahatta Springs, Ala. Soc at
druggists, or by mail for cash or stamps. j.
I. Shuptrine, manufacturer, Savannah, Ga.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

"Pa," said little Willie, asking his six.
teenth question. "Well, my SOM" PA,
how'd the man who named the first bicycle
know it was bicycle ANSWERS.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
smart nv Ab.orrt,op.

Bill--The fellow has some very good
ideas.
Jill-Yes; he must have lot of bright
friends.-Yonkers Statesman.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
A Misft.

The young man who prefers to owe tailor
rather than to wear a suit which has been
taken from the counters of clothing store,
says that he never cared for a counter fit
anyway Advertiser.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
After His Defeat.

Are you politician, sr?"
A shadow crossed his brow.
81 thought was one" he exclaimed,
But ! know better now"
Washington Star.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

II woman really loves her husband she
keeps him holding his tongue out all the
time to see if there is a coating on it,
Atchisou Globe
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

Piso's Cure for Consumption is an A No.
| Asthma medicine.-W. r. Williams, An.
tioch, ILL.,, April IL, 1894.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

A Kansas medical student recently shot a
patient. The mere fact that he resorted to
firearms proves conclusively that he wasn't
a full.hedged doctor,-Chicago Daily News
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

~ have here" he began, "a little poem,
the child Of" I'm sorry" interrupted
the editor, but couldn't think of taking a
child away from its parents. Answers.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

HCIIeS tUuHt TOT HtlIe, IHey lIlust
keep going or lose their place.
To these Mrs. Pinkham's help is
offered. A letter to her at Lynn,
Mass, will bring her advice free
of all charge.
Miss NANcIE SHoBE, Florence,
Col, writes letter to Mrs. Pink
ham from which we quote:
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

CNALESWOMEN understand what torture Is
- Constantly their feet whether wellorill Compelled
~ TO smile and be agreeable to customers while dragged
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

Sprockett-"Do you have to be examined
by physician before you join the wheel.
mems club" Wheeler-"No; afterward."
-Yonkers Statesman.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
Cheering Him Up.

at very seldom happens" said Mr..
Stormington Barnes, that we are per-
mitted to adopt the career for which
we are ambitious in youth. always
wanted TO be a comedian and make peo-
pie laugh"
Dear me-" said the sympathetic
young girl; you ought not to be so
disappointed. I'm sure you make peo-
plelaugh very often as il is. Washing
ton Star.
LIES Tragedy.
Far from the madding crowds ignoble
strife,
They walked at eve beside the moonlit
bay.
The tenor asked her would she be his wife,
And the soprano shilly answered may"
Chicago Tribune.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

Adam was not born. Probably that's why
he never wrote poetry.--Chicago Daily
News.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

Where Ideals Are Cheap is you
notion OF an ideal woman" Zone who CAP
look like princess in three dollar suit
Indianapolis journal
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
Chance for Her,

"She says her face is her fortune"
"Well, she certainly ought to take ad.
vantage of the new bankruptcy law. Chi.
cago Post.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

You cannot always tell whether your
goods are all wool or mixed goods. II makes
no difference if you use Putnam Fadeless
Dyes. They color everything.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

Bill-Don't you think that man Daubs
is clever artist?
Jill-He's the worst that ever hap
pened.
"Oh, yes; know he can't paint any,"
"And yet you call him clever?"
"Why, yes; he sells some of his pic
lures. "-Yonkers Statesman.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

People would undoubtedly be more law.
ess if there were less law-Chicago Daily
News.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

The Best Prescription for Chills.
and Fever is bottle Of GROVES TAsTELEss
CHILL Tonic. 1t is simply iron and guinine in
tasteless form. No cure-no pay. Price SOC.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

All things come to him who waits-bad
luck included Chicago Daily News.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16

m LABASTINE Is the original
and only durable wall coating
AA entirely different from all kali
somines. Ready for use in
white or twelve beautiful tints
~ VA by adding cold water.
"a AIDES naturally prefer ALA
BASTINE for walls and cell
ings because IT is pure. clean,
durable. Put up In dry pow
dered form, in 1ye-pound pack
80 ages, with full directions.
A IL kalsomines are cheap tenn
M porary preparations made from
AW whiting, chalks, clays, etc,
A and stuck on walls with de-
caying animal glue. ALABAS-
- Va TINE is not kalsomine.
RA EwARE Of the dealer who
says he can sell you the same
49, thing as ALABASTINE or
something just as good" He
A Is either not posted or Is try
e&E4V ing to deceive you.
A ND IN OFFERING something
IA he has bought cheap and tries
AW to sell on ALABAST1NB'S de-
mands, he may not realize the
1A damage you will suffer by o
~ "a kalsomine on your walls.
~ ENSIBLE dealers will not buy
eva q lawsuit. Dealers risk one by
ESr> selling and consumers by using
infringement Alabastlne Co.
own right to make wall coat
ing to mix with cold water.
gEYu0 HE INTERIOR WALLS OF
every schoolhouse should be
coated only with pure, durable
ALABASTINE 1t safeguards
health Hundreds of tons are
E used annually for this work.
m n BUYING ALABASTINB, SEQ
k that packages are properly la
M beled. Beware Of large four
M pound package light kalso-
Ia mine offered to customers as
"a flve-pOupd package.
rvM "a UISANCE Of wall paper ls OBJ
ES3A b waited by ALABASTINB. 1t
MVA ~ can be used on rlastered walls.
"a #&W wood ceilings brick or can
E ~ vas. A child can brush It on.
IA V4 1t does not rub or scale of.
ryvrzsu ESTABLISHED IN favor. Shun
Escf4 all limitations. Ask paint dealer
e. or druggist for tint card. Write
sM for "Alahastine Era" free, to
ALABASTINE CO., Grand
:$3S3 Rapids, Michigan.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
WOMEN
WHO EARN
THEIR LIVING

~ had been poor health for time troubles hav-
ing been brought by standing physician said caus
ing serious womb trouble had to give up work was
just bundle of and would have fainng spells at
monthly periods doctored and took various medicines but
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-06-16
TOOK HIM LITERALLY,

Ethel don't think johnnie can bs
fond of fruit, Miss Trainem.
why not, my dear?"
because he said the other day hi
didn't care fig for you."-Fun.
Daily inter mountain., 1899-08-12
TIVE ACES.

Ancient history speaks Of the Dark
Ages, the Iron Age, the Stone Age and
the Age of Chivalry. Modern history tells
Of the Middle Age the Age of Barbarisn
and other Ages, of which we all think
something is known. But current history
adds to them all the Rubber Age" Com
paratively little is known Of it by the
| average newspaper header but we are
passing through it all the same.
! Nearly all the rubber used in this coun-
try comes from Brazil. A few years age
only fifteen or twenty million tons We're
imported. Last year the amountiimport-
ed was fortyfour million tons; this year
| it will run up to double that amount
Last year this country paid to the Para
| rubber importers $37, 100000. This year
| that sum will be doubled. Now,2 where
| does it all go to? Can it be located
Some of it can. The automobiles, the new
| industry. use large amounts of it. The
thousands of rub ber- tired cabs. wagons
and bicycles which noseessly pass over
city streets and country roads consume
vast quantities Of the yielding material.
1t is largely manufactured into rubber
coats, which are now so artist:cally made
that they resemble silk, and into rubber
chair seats and blankets. 1t enters into
toys and tents. Boots and shoes are made
of it. and many other articles too numer-
Gus to mention owe their beauty and use
fulness to rubber.
Rubber may be credited with producing g
thousand and one most useful things,
while it can be justly charged with enter
ing into but one discreditable object: that
is the necks of unmanly, inquis:tive, i'm
pertinent street corner "mashers," and
those of the buns and blackguards who
twist their tongues to make uncouth,
brutal remarks about nearly every lady
whom they rubber neck" to follow with
their watery eyes. Aside from that rub
her has become one of the most useful
materials of the time. and has opened to
the labor of the county industries that
furnish Drawn and muscle bread for
thousands of women and children in the
land. Truly, this is the rubber age, and
next to copper cotton and wool, is sought
for the many economical uses to which it
~
may be put.
Daily inter mountain., 1899-08-12
THE HURRICANE SUFFERERS.

Telegraphic advices from Porto Rico
state that fully 100000 people there are
on the verge of starvation, being reduced
to that condition by the effects of a de-
structive hurricane which swept over the
island last Tuesday, the Sth inst. The
loss Of life and destruction of property
are appalling. The war department. at
Washington is taking prompt measures
to relieve the unfortunates as far as pos
sible, but in the absence of an appropria-
ton to cover the cost of necessary sup
plies, it has issued an appeal to the pa
triotic, humane, public-spirited people of
the United States to step forward and re-
lieve, as far as possible, the unfortunate
Porto Rican sufferers. The appeal will
doubtless, meet a generous response. In
the meantime the army officers at the
island are requested to furnish rations to
the needy to the extent of their ability to
do So The government will furnish trans
ports to send contributions to the suffer-
Daily inter mountain., 1899-08-12
SHIPS IN THE PHILIPPINES.

Two hundred miles to the north of Man
la, on the west coast Of the big island of
Luzon. is Lingayen gulf, large arm OF
the sea. AT its head is the town of Dagu-
pan, the northern terminus of the Manila
& Dagupan railway, which traverses the
rich lowands Of the Pampanga and Agno
rivers, the great rice growing district Of
the island. This territory is the strong
hold and hotbed of the Filipino insurgents
and it is along the line Of the railway that
our troops are advancing.
The position Of Lingayen gulf, near the
China coast, and at the head Of the rail-
way which has been largely controlled by
the natives since the insurrectiOn, has
made it an ideal place for the filibuster-
ing expeditions from the China coast and
the adjacent islands OF the East Indies to
land cargoes Of arms and munitions for
the insurgents. To stop this the ships OF
Daily inter mountain., 1899-08-12
THE WEARING or MOURNING.

The correspondent of an eastern ex-
change asks, in all seriousness: 'Is
there any possibility of getting rid Of
the cruel custom of society which con-
demns the relatives and survivors of
death to wear mourning?" This question
was evidently prompted by the fact that
the widow and daughter of the late Col
Well, they have an undoubted right to
do as they please about it. Others may
also do as best suits them and wear
mourning. The "cruel CUSTOM as the
correspondent puts 1t, is not so binding
upon members of society that it may be
violated without subjecting the violator
to ostracism from his or her circle. The
custom is simply a matter of taste, not
so inviolable as the laws of the Medes
and Persians.
The Anglo-SaXons generally wear black
as a symbol of mourning. Four hundred
million Chinese pagans costume them
selves in white to evidence their SORROW
over the death of a friend or relative.
Some tribes or people, who can afford it,
pay professional mourners to wall and
cry aloud for them. while the more in