The Newtown bee., 1899-09-01
were safe at home with their Mas, who
vowed their boys must be home at 8
in the evening hereafter.
A Tip BY Telephone.
pooDLEKINs TALKS OVER THE WIRE
ABOUT MATTERS INTERESTING
TO NEwTowN PEOPLE.

Doedlekins rushed into the telephone
pay station and ringing wild alarm on
the bell, shouted:
"Hey, there. Hello! Central"
"Hello," said Central, calmlu.
"Gimme Smith, NRwTowN BEE man,
quick"
what number?"
Number! Get out You know Smith
well enough to make the connection
without any number, don't your"
Certainly. Excuse me-"
BIZ III 2ZZ sang the instrument.
''Aii right" said Central.
"Hello,'' shouted Dooklekins, isis this
Smith, presiding genius of the sanctum
sanctorum of THE BEE?"
"You beG," came blithesome voice
over the wire, "what do you wantp"
"Say, just want your close attention
for few minutes. l want you to en-
large on one fact in the next issue of
your paper that will prove mighty inter
esting to che voters and taxpayers of
your quiet, steady going town."
"Yu cure the man we're looking for.
It's news we want. Gently carol your
lay"
IL will, in dulcet tones. It's about
bfidges. Catch on?'
"Linger longer, Lucy; guess L do.
That's mighty interesting theme round
here just now"
al guess that's right. Say, I want to
give you people up there straight tip
on that bridge question. Are you
listening?"
"With both ears"
"Good. Now you people don't want
any mere iron bridges right away. See?"
"Why, dear boy, we found that out
week ago, all by ourselves. We did,
really"
"That's all right. I'm not through
yet. You're Just reading the preface, so
to speak. You don't want any more
wooden bridges, either. You hear me
MARBLE ?'
"Of course 1 hear; but your wrong.
That's just what we do want"
"No you don't. And / never make
statement l can't prove, either. Seer"
"Well, I'd like to see you, or hear you,
bolster up that statement with your
proofs"
THAT'S what 1 will. Say, by the way,
caught on right away when l read that
criticism of yours, last week, about
notices of new bridges being published
in The BEE, before being contracted for.
You were almost right. But 1t should
have read sixteen instead Of fifteen years.
You know those advertisements COM
mepced sixteen years ago"
"Rold on, don't"
''WhatI Hasn't the Boston Painless
Dentists, of 400 Main Street, Bridgeport,
been advertising with you for sixteen
wears, offering the most elegant gold
bridges at unhesrd of low prices? And
they are just what you Newtown PEG
pie need, too. If you buy these
bridges there are no deals to beat
the man who paws the bills, and you
can'G say that of some other bridges.
[ know and you know. I'm right and
everybody else is wrong, unless they
| sgree with me. But you don't need
wooden bridges-you need a wooden
bridge. Singular vs. plural, sir. That's
the proof. You acknowledge / was
right. OF course you do. I'm aslogician,
sir. Juet you fix up what I've told you
and print it in the next BEE, sir, and the
logic of the thing will convince your
readers that when anybody in Newtown
needs bridge, they can get the finest
ones made of gold or rubber, at the most
absurd prices conceivable, sir. Good
bye, air." Fifteen, sixteen-sixteen.
fifteen; wood bridges, iron bridges, gold
bridges; plural, singular-verY singu-
lar" came meditative, dreamy solilo-
guy over the wire from the classic pre-
cincts of the editors s8nctum. but Doc
dlekins heard it not. He had rushed of
to order gold bridge of the Boston
Painless Dentists.