davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17

Over 1000 men are now employed
working on the streets of Santiago and
its suburbs, and the consequence is
the city is losing what may have been
one of its most picturesque features,
but which was certainly very unpleas-
ant for those who We're DESTROYS of rid
ing or driving-that is the c~obblestones
of the streets. These cobblestones may
last longer by 100 years or so than q
good ~macadamized road, but there can
be no question that 500 people out of
every 1000 would be in favor of the
latter. Three months ago a light buggy
of American make stood a poor chance
of existing more than a few weeks over
the surface of Santiago roads, and.
though it has been impossible to widen
the streets, still there are many miles
of good roads for driving. The Wood
boulevard around the city is nov q ia
vorite resort of an evening, and be-
tween four and six o'clock at night one
can see thereon several hundred car
riages, men on horseback, and ever BIZ
cyclists, for the impossibility of riding
III prior to the past three weeks was
palpably apparent to the most enthu-
siastic scorcher.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17
After years Of patient attention q

After years of patient attention q
Boston woman has acquired a scrap
book of fashion that is truly unique
and amusing. Ir the early days Of the
civil war she began clipping plates and
fashion paragraphs from mode journals
until her proposed volume has now
formed several. 1t is wonderfully odd
to review the fads and fancies that
flashed like so many meteors through
the skies of the past IS or 40 years, says
n Hub exchange. There are the Grecian
bend. the chignon, the waterfall, the
pullback, the c~rinoline. the tiny bon
nets and the pokes, the large bustles,
hoops and the large sleeves. Only
tremes of style and oddities are used, or
the collection would swell beyond all
proportion. AS it is, it is the. source of
much mirth whenever she brings it out
as a company trap"
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17
M. QUAD'S HUMOR
Copyright. 1889
AN

Just beyond the town limits of
Rocky Gulch was a shanty in which a
man called Uncle Pete lived all alone.
During the day he was employed at the
shaft Of No. 4 silver mine, and q great
share of his earnings was spent at the
Red Bird" saloon. At midnight one
night there was a landslide on Dog
mountain and Uncle Pete and his
cabin were buried 80 feet deep. When
daylight came a few men gathered
to see what could be done, but aft
er a little talk concluded that the old
man was buried for good, and it would
be useless to try to get him out. Days
and weeks went by, and one night, six
weeks after the landslide, a man walked
into the "Red Bird" and asked for a
drink. The proprietor looked him over
in a puzzled way, and finally said:
Say, old man, thar used to be q
critter around yere who looked jest
like you. You amt no twin brother to
Uncle Pete, ar YEP"
"None o. yer bizness!" was the blunt
reply.
Eye needn't be SO mighty pert over
1t, old man. It don't cost nuthin' to
answer a civil queshun. say you look
like Uncle Pete"
"And what became of that Uncle
Pete?" asked the stranger.
Buried under a landslide"
Chow deep2"
"'Bout 30 feet, they said"
"Purty good man, was hep"
"Yes, purity far. Never heard nobody
complain of him. Hang me if you
amt as nigh like him as two peas!"
"How fur did they dig down before
they gin up tryin' to git the ole
man out?" carelessly asked the man at
the bar.
"Not q blamed inch. In the first
place he was buried under 30 feet of
rock and sile, and in the next he hadn't
left no money to pay fur diggin'. II
[ didn't know he was dead I'd say you
a him."
"And they jest left him thar'?"
eyes, jest left him thar"
"And nobody al worried nor
grievedY"
Not as I've heard Of"
"And he's thar yit?"
II reckon he ar, and will be till Ga
briel toots his horn.'
"Then you III a liar!" shouted the
old man, as he pounded on the bar with
his glass; I'm the Uncle Pete that
was buried under the landslide, and 1
jest got through diggin' my way out
an hour ago! So they didn't dig fur
me nor worry o grieye? They jest
let me stay thar and didn't even put
up a grave-stun? Steve Williams"
Good Lord, but are you really Uncle
Petel"
"Steve Williams, l won't abide it!
You go to-and old No. 4 kin go to-
and the hull town of Rocky Gulch kin
go to-and I'll go over to Sandy Bend
and stay thar the rest of my days!"
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17
Hreakine II Gently.

"Are you Mrs. Timmins?" enquired
a looking little a
YES" replied q tall, robust, not to
ny raw-boned, female.
"Your husband was called Alfred? 2"
"Yea"
HE used to work at Brown & Green's
sawmills2"
"He does now"
mo, he don't"
What are you gettin' ats" asked the
woman, threateningly.
I'm a-breakin' the news" answered
the little man.
Eyer needn't break 1t in such thun-
derin' little pieces" observed the new
~ appointed widow as she went in and
shut the door.-Ally Sloper.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17

Every town has a liar OF two, a smart
Aleck, some pretty girls, more loafers
than it needs, a woman or two that
t%attles, an old fogy that the town
would be better off without, men who
stand on the street corners and make
remarks about the women, q man who
laughs an idiotic laugh every time he
says anything, scores Of men with the
caboose of their trousers worn smooth
as glass, men who can tell you about
how the war question should be set
tied, the weather and how to run other
peoples business, but who have made a
dismal failure of their own.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17

show man the way to a long and healthy
life.
Common sense teaches that a man should
not over-work or over-worry; that he should
take ample time for his meals, for resting
and for recreation and sleep; that he should
not neglect the little ills of life, because
they are the precursors of serious and fatal
maladies. Chemistry has enabled men to
make combinations of drugs that were i'm
possible in the days of the alchemists.
Medical science has taught when, how and
why these combinations of drugs should
be used. DIR. Pierce's Golden Medical Dis
covery is the most valuable of all health
restoring medicines, and the most effective.
Its first work is upon the fo~untain-head Of
life-the stomach. A man who has a weak
and impaired stomach and who does not
properly digest his food will soon find tha
his blood has become weak and impover-
ished, and that his whole body is improp-
erly and insuficiently nourished. This
medicine makes the stomach strong, facil-
itates the flow of digestive juices, restores
the lost appetite, makes assimilation per-
feet, invigorates the liver and purifes and
enriches he blood. 1t is the great blood
maker, fesh-builder and nerve tonic. It
makes mel strong in body, active in mind
and cool in judgment.
It does not make fabby fat, but solid,
muscular flesh, nerve force and vital en-
ergy. All medicine dealers sell it.
j. W. Jordan, Esq, of corbin. Whitley Co.,
was taken with severe pains in the chest, be
gan to spit up blood, was troubled with night
sweats and was so short winded that I could
hardly walk half a mile. Tried DR.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery and have improved
both III strength and weight"
The medicine dealer who urges some
substitute is thinking of the larger profit
he'll make and not of your best good.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17
Hi wish.

Mrs. Peck-Yes, they missed some
thing from the counter where I had
been making some purchases and as l
was leaving the store a detective halted
me and led me back to the Office, where
they told me that I was suspected Of
being q shoplifter.
Mr.. Peck-Well, that wa awkward,
to say the least.
Mrs. Peck-Awkward2 For about o
minute l was simply %speechless with
indignation.
Mr.. Peck (regretfully)-oh, I wish
I had been therel-Chicago Daily News.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17

Bird lovers are rejoicing over the
first fruits of their labors for the pro-
lection of the feathered race, and much
is 10Y expected of the fish commission.
This body has been given the title of the
commission of fish. fisheries and birds,
and its powers have been enlarged so
that it has the authority to propagate,
distribute and restore such game birds
and in~sect-eating species as are useful
to man, and to bring species from other
countries that are likely to be of adj
vantage to this. The fish commission
has protected the fish in the rivers and
ponds, and has stocked many streams
that pot hunters" had robbed in UNI
sportsmanlike ways.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17
A LESSON IN


room of the White Wolf hotel, with the.
big stove red hot to make the place
comfortable, when a prospector named
Bill McKeever casually remarked that
sit was upon just such a night three
years ago that four Cinnamon friz to
death at the Silver Horn mine"
"They friz to death, did they?" asked
a man in the far corner OF the room.
"Friz to death fur suah!" was the
reply.
~ don't think they did. If them
Chinymen didn't git drowned or bur-
led under a landslide they froze to
death. l amt much on grammer, but
when a teller freezes to death, even if
he's a Chinyman, faint no use to make
things wuss nor they ar"
What ye tryin' to git at?" asked the
first speaker.
"Tm sayin' as how 'frM' is wrong"
"And I'm sayin' as how 'friz' is
k'rect. Them Chinymen friz to death,
and thar is them yere as seen 'em
lynn thar as stiff as pokers."
81 amt sayin' as they didn't freeze
to death" said the grammarian. What
I'm shootin' at is the word fritz"
"Ar' ye ackin' fur a fuss!" demanded
the other, as he rose up.
"Not in pertik'ler, though l shan't
dodge one if she Them blamed
Chinymen froze to death"
"And I say they friz!"
The two men stood glaring at each
other over the heads of the s%itters,
when a third man spoke up:
Thar needn't be no shootin' yer
this thing. Let's see what the crowd
says. I'm sorter in favor Of 'friz' my
self"
"And I say ~.froze'," put in another.
Every man but one gave his opinion,
and the majority favored ~"froze." In
this emergency the "friz" mar appealed
to the exception for his opinion, and
after a minute the latter stood up and
said:
"As l take it., four Chinymen were
found dead up at the Silver Horn after
a mighty cold night?"
THAT'S it, colonel"
They hadn't bin killed by Injuns,
clawed to death by bars or smashed
by rocks. They had jest died Of the
coldp"
eyes, jest died"
ST we was in Boston, continued the
colonel, as he looked around, 'we'd
say that they froze to death. II we
was in St. Louis we'd say that they
friz to death. If we was in Chicago
we'd say they suc-cumb-ed to the cold.
Bein' as we amt nowhar else except
right yere, and bein' as it's left fur
me to decide, I shall remark that them
four blamed heathens persisted fur the
want of a red-hot stove and plenty of
whisky, and if any critter wants to
deny me let him speak up and say sol"
No critter did, and the "friz" man
and the "froze" man combined their
capital and order a drink all around.
Circumstances Alter Cases.
Lady (excitedly)-Have you filed my
application for a divorce yet?
Lawyer-No, madam; but l am at
work on the papers now.
Lady-Thank fortune, I am not too
late. Destroy all papers and evidence
at once, please.
Lawyer--A reconciliation has been
brought about between you and your
husband, l infer?
Lady-Gracions, no! He was run
over and killed by a freight train this
morning, and / want to retain you in
my suit against the company Tor dam.
assss'chisago DAILY E&yss
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17

We the undersigned druggists of the
Upper Peninsula of Michigan unite in
saying that Warmers White Wine Of
Tar Syrup has no superioras u throat
and lung remedy. 1t has given entire
satisfaction in this part of the coun
try and is one of the very best sellers
STAFFORD DRUG Co. Marquette, Mich
H.J. ATKINSON. Harbor Springs, Mich
j. M. PERKINS s. Co. Negaunee. Mich
II. NJ. Powers, Ontonagon. Mich.
D.. I. MACDONALD, Calumet, Mich.
Il. p. TILLsoN. Ishpeuiug, Mich.
A. j. SCOTT. Hancock, Mich.
RUDHLL& CONWAY,
Sauit st. Marie, Mich,
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17
SYNOPSIS.

CHAPTER I.-Donald Thorndyke, as cap
tain of the schooner Phantom, leaves Nor
folk for New London with a cargo of lead
for continental armies. His mate, John
Lounsbury, proves treacherous after they
get TO sea and threatens to reveal the char
actsr or the captain and cargo to British
could not escape. Thorndyke strikes him
and renders him insensible, apparently
dead. One of the other two members Of
the crew attempts T~horndyke's life, but he
bests him and throws him into the sea.
The other. a negro. he scares into silence.
He determines to impersonate the APP
that he has taken the ship as a prize and
has killed the captain and all of the crew
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17
An Oregon Minister.

received the bottle of White Wine
of Tar of Syrup. Que of my children
vas very sick with Group, and as your
medicine a pleasant to take l gave
it and it gave almost Immediate relief
| would not be without il, and | also
recommend it as a medicine that
should he at all times in every family.
West Union Oregon.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17
Love Of Their Country.

Talking of patriotisn," said Asbury
Peppers, "the south furnishes the only
genuine article"
",What?" shouted the boarder from
Connecticut.
"Fact. Think Of the clay eaters down
in Georgia. Just think of how they
love their native soil!"-Cincinnati En-
Suirer.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17
More E%xtortfon.

Oculist-There, it's out. 1t was q
grain of sand.
Victim (winking his eye rapidly
Yes, I guess it's gone. How much?
Oculist-Fve dollars.
Nictim--If it had been a bird shot
you'd have charged me a hundred, l sup
pose. You're a blamed swindler!-Chi-
cage Tribune.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17
Scrofula, a Vile
Inheritance.

Scrofulais the most obstinate of blood
troubles, and is often the result of an
inherited faint in the blood. s. s. S.
is the only remedy which goes deep
enough to reach Scrofula; it forces out
every trace Of the disease, and cures
the worst cases.
Ny son, Charlie, was afflicted from infancy
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17
In Operation.

"Ihat motor you are interested in
never worked, did
"Of course it worked" was the indig-
nant reply. ut never pulled any cars
or moved any machinery. But it made
money for its owners, and that's more
than most inventions do."-Washing-
ton Star.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17

The smallest things may exert the
greatest Influence. De Wits Little
Early Risers are unequalled for over
coming constipation and liver rroub-
les. Small pin. best pill. safe pill.
Lners y Lowry Drug Co.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17

Mexican pulque and Hawaiian pei
have appeared in the list of beverages
in New York. The pulque is described
asresembling buttermilk, with a mawk-
ish, disagreeable taste. Poi comes in q
paste to be diluted with milk, and sugar
or salt added according 10 taste. Pic
turesque pulque and poi iags will now
be in order in gay Gotham.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17
OF Courre It Is.

Yeast-1 suppose some kinds of light
ming are quicker than others?
misunderstanding.
(Which do you consider the fastest
lightning?",
II should think chained lightning
would be the fastest."-Yonkers States
man.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17

Parent-of course, as my daughter
is of age she can suit herself as to mar
rying you, but the day she does, I will
cut her off without q penny.
Suitor (after a pause)-Well, under
those circumstances, SIR, we will break
our engagement. / could not think of
depriving a young lady OF her inner
itance.-Harlem Life.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17

William Endicott, of Beverly, Mass, a
witness of the famous battle between
the Chesapeake and the shannon in the
war Of 1912. died a few days ago at the
age Of 90 years aud 10 months.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17


impossible to dress him
for three years. His
head aad body were a
mass of sores, and his
eyesight also became
affected. No treatment
was spared that we
thought would relieve
him, but he grew worse
until hfs condition was
indeed pitiable. I had
almost despaired Of his
ever being cured, when
by the advice of o friend
we gave him S. S. S.
tSwift's Specifc). Ade-
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17

Hetty Green's inside pocket is al
ways lined with lucre, and she has
more available cash at her disposal
than any other in the United
States. She recently loaned Il little
wad of / 1000, eco to the city of New
York at two per cent. interest for three
months.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17

The manufacture of rattlesnake oil
is said to be a growing aud profitable
industry at Valley Center, San Diego
county, Cal. 1t is not at all likely that
the law will interfere with the destruc-
ton of the reptiles.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17
ArduD,

"Along the cool. sequestered vale OF life
He keeps the noiseless tenor OF his way
'He also keeps. afar from worldly strife.
The tenner that l lent him t'other day.
Chicago Tribune.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17

Constant coughing is not only very
annoying, but the continuous hacking
and irritation will soon attack and in
jure the delicate lining of the throat
and air passages. A simple cough is
bad enough; but a chronic cough is
really dangerous. Take advice and
use the celebrated DR.. BULBS Cough
Syrup at once and be cured.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17

To Cure a Cold in One Day
Take Walncr's White Wire Of Tar
Syrup, the best cough remedy on
earth. 25 and SO cts. All Druggists
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17
Not an Expert.

"a strong picture, indeed! The calf
drinking from q pail is handled with es-
pecial skill"
We'll, 1 confess 1 don't agree with
you"
"Oh, you don't know how hard it IL
to make a calf drink."-Town Topics.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17
The U.tutorea saraa.

Moneys the root of all evil,
AS the civilized person agrees;
1t Is only the savage who thinks he
May find the stun growing on trees.
Chicago Daily News.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17

The inyatev
life and
death has pug
zled many a
wise man. The
alchemists of
old searched in
vain for some
combination of
drugs that
would prolong
life indefinite
ly. Common
sense, chemis-
try and medical
science have
combined in
this a0e Tn
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17
Not Eligible,

AT . union ministers meeting la
Cleveland recently a petition was
formulated and adopted for general
circulation to be signed throughout the
country and forwarded to the Unitel
States house Of representatives, car
nestly praying that body 10 refuse req
ignition of Brigham H. Roberts, elect
ed as representative from Utah, on the.
following grounds: That the said
Roberts "is at once a high member In
and an instrument OF the Mormon
priesthood, An organization professed-
ly religious, but actually controlling
the politics of Utah." rendering q FREQ
and fair vote impossible; that he "is .
s~elf-confessed polygamist. now living
with two or more females besides his
lawful wife, and these have recently
borne him several children" that ut
is almost beyond doubt that he is sent
to congress as an overt act of covenant
breaking and defiance against the
United States by the Mormon leaders,"
that If Mr.. Roberts is seated ut will be
taken by Mormonism as a great VIC
tory ever congress, a notice that Nor
mon political methods and social scan
dal are safe from national interference,
and as a recognition of the power and
in some measure of the rightfulness of
the 'polygamic t~heocracy.'" 1t is most
earnestly urged by the COMMITTEES
drafting this petition shat every
church, club and other adult organiza-
ton OF suitable character in the United
States adopt these OF similar resolu-
tions by vote and send certified copy,
stating number of adults voting (male
and female), to their representatives
in congress-" and that the matter be at
tended to without delay.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17

cided Improvement was the result, and after
he had taken a dozen bottles. no one who knew
recognized him, All the sores on his body
have healed, his skin is perfectly clear and
smooth, and he has been restored to perfect
health. MRS. 81 s. MABRY,
800 Elm St., Macon, Ga.
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17

lro BE
Twice-a-week plain dealer. (Cresco, Howard County, Iowa) 1895-1913, 1899-02-17
Words of Truth.

REV. H. STAUP.
The age-herald., 1899-01-19
HE LOVES MORGAN

From the Anniston Index.
 ''As long as John T. Morgan is alive and wants to remain in the senate, I'll never contest with him for the honor." These were the words of brainy, brave and bril- liant John B. Knox recently to a party of friends. They do great credit to the man who uttered the sentiments, and still great CT honor to his love and respect for the great exponent of the nations laws and constitution. Senator Morgan is loved, rev. erenced and respected in Calhoun county as a part of it's being, and the fact of his once having lived within it's borders but cements the tie that binds her to the grati- fication of his every ambition.
 If that ambition be 'to die in the har- ness" it goes without words that no son of hers, even though he be the strongest man of this grand commonwealth, will enter the lists against him nor disturb the serenity of his well-rounded career, fraught as it is with the glory of an exalted history to the credit of the state he has so long and so ably represented. Calhoun may name a successor to the grand old man of the United States senate. but supplant him in the eventide of his life, never