New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-05-14
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

THE TALK OF THE DAY.
| Here Is a marriage notice that recently appearea
| in 1.-THE Stockton (Kan) News': miss DeHa mn 10
| married Her husband Is travelling man OF con-
siderable means and she does not nave ~ iaso.,
| no, even to make her own bed Her huspano -
son,e year. Older than she Is and weighs &6
| pounds"
Don't you think write with great de eS o,
| dash?" inquired he new woman reporter res,
responded the city editor and "a much P Ie,elt
| have Won use commas and senicolons. -(CleVeidhu
| Plain Dealer.
| Every American and Engishman whom met IN
| constantinople went TO the trouble to assure me
| that the Turk was not as wicked as some persons
| would have us believe" writes the Constantnope
| correspondent OF 1.-The Chicago Record, ana ne
continues: There was no denying that the TURKS
| had slaughtered several Armenians now ana then'
hut this pasiime was not wanton and malicious, but
! had been provoked My informants did not pretend
to Justify the killing Of Armenians' Dut they u'u
| say without exception. that, taken as ciass' .e
| Turks were better than the Armenians. Ihey saiu
| that the religious prejudice In favor OF Inc Ch''s
tan Armenian as against the pagan Turk had COL
| ored the opinions of Europe and America AS an
| instance OF Turkish tolerance the attitude oi '"e
| Government toward the American Cohese was
cited Here is an nstitution seeking 10 dspace the
religious belief OF the country and put Christianity
|
Of the Sultan and has received presents. favors ana
concessions OF every sort from the Government OIL
| Gals IL the Mahometans founded colege III
| America and began to teach the Koran would they
| he as well treated? They would be tolerated OF
! course, but would they ride haf-fare on railroaos
| the same as Christian minister's
When little Billy the pastors saw the chick;
ems that were suffering from the gapes he yentured
the opinion "P'raps. pa. they've been SAYING over
| ton Transcript
When the statue OF Benjamin Franklin in front
~ tho PHILADELPHIA Post Office Is unveiled says THE
| PHILADELPHIA Record" numerous kites Of huge size
| will he attached to the canvas covering or the
statue and through the agency or these Kites ana
| nv means of intricate electrical appliances the
statue will be unveiled without any apparent human
| or mechanical assistance Justus c. StrawDriuge,
who hears the entire cost OF the statue. SLIGO and
m present II 10 the city conceived the idea several
wears ago at a dinner, after listening TO speech
| in which 1t pointed out that there was no me
mortal In bronze to Franklin In this city Inc POST
office pavement selected as the site because ira
dIon saws that on that spot Franklin maze MS
| memorable experiment in kite-fylng and In later
years the University OF Pennsylvania or which ne
| was the founder. erected there
| An agsd rural citizen engaged the local town
| poet to write obituary on his brother AFTER
numerous failures, the poet submitted the Ioio"
i"S' orfe left this world OF sorrow
| And entered heavens gate
| With a spotess robe of glory on
AT twenty minutes to eight
Well said the old man. as the eort was ecr TtaS
! when he got thar, cordn ter my tmepiece nu t'
ANYHOW he wuz such liar hit don't make no ar
rr1nce' Let her go at twenty to S"-(Atanta Con-
| stituton.
Here are a few bits from Mr.. Macdonaghs book
on Irish Life and Character: Ibid you call your
| husbands uncle Carey the informerT NO SIR l
didn't 20 that far. 1 called him antichrist There
1 ofO nj
was consoling her nelghbor under an injury ana
| deprecating revenge Lave the villain 10 Almighty
God" she said IAN He'll play the divil with him.
Here too is flower OF speech that rings gen
| une An Irshman was asked In America now ne
| was getting on "Middln'," he said "mddlin; but
| faix I'd rather be gas lamp In Duohh hor
| President in the United States An irish navy
on the Hoyhead boat was complaining OF his fore
man. He'd stir finger himself 10 lltt reu
herring OFF the grdlron. but he'd ask you 10 shilt
the rock O. Gibraltar" People laughed at the iate
| Major O'Gorman but they also laughed with him.
why are Irishmen always laying bare the wrongs
of their country" asked some in the House
Because they want them redressed." Numbered
the Major.
Two Views.-Mrs. Plunkett-There's nothing
peases man so much when he Ieacne ,s nome meat at
| night to DO met ~ wife with smiling couh-
tenance ,r 49, 10 ,,or. rorsonai ex
| the matter. that nothing pleases man SO much
when he reaches nome AT ilbit Us " nav an VI.
good-lookng women in the neighborhood sitting out
| on the front porches where nell nave 10 stop ana
| gossip with them.-(Chicago News.
The Greenup (Ky) Democrat observes that
there's no place like home" and In proof OF the
| statement 1t relates a story about man In Iron
ton Ohio who bought a cow In Kentucky. For
few DAYS the COW was stabbed. believing dismally
and at length was released from conilnement NOW
every morning she walks down TO the ferryboat
takes massage and crosses the river; when arrived
on the Kentucky shore she goes down 10 the waters
edge TO take a drink. and then feasts all day on
tentuckys green pastures, returning to Ohio the
ferryboat in the evening.
THE CHINESE NURSE.
well who'd a thought" said Trooper Lee,
AS he lay in the ambulance ,nSi,..
''If here amt n Chinaman tendin' me
I'd like TO git up an dance!
"Howdy. John? Yer a welcome find
Here was a-feelin, rum;
Don't make me feel ter hum!
Holy smoke. Yer the same old Chlnk
Yes you are the very same Chink. think
Nursn' "A soldier boy.
How'd yer come to Their Philippines?
Aus been here, you say
Well msbbe tha tr;s So ou, among these scenes
philadelphia North American.
club and each member is pledged to marry
widow Fines, penalties and explosions are pro-
vided for n violation of the rules There In no age
limit on the widow. and where a member marries
a widow with children he IL given n portion OF the
fund accumulated through fines.
what" he cried. have you lifted me again?
Here I've been gone but two months, and come
back 10 find you engaged TO another fellow
1T seemed so long. you know, George" she coyly
explained: 'and life was, awful dull"
well. I'll tell you what I'll do next time YOU ac-
cept me-In marry you on the spot. Wen stop
this Filipino town business"
What do you mean by that?"
You'll be earrisoned just as soon as you're
captured. "-(Cleveland Plain lAesler