New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-10-04

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eyes" was the impatient answer.
"What do you want2 Who are your
"Gwilliams, 1895 Pumpernickel
street. want to enter complaint. >
"What about3'
II bought an icebox at your store a
few days ago, and''-
''Call up the household goods depart
ment, confound you! have no time to
spare to look after such things
you've got as much time perhaps,
as have. haven't any complaint to
make to the household goods depart
ment The head of the firm is the man
I want to talk to. bought an icebox
at your store few days ago for $16.75.
might have got it cheaper somewhere
else, but that isn't the point. Having
bought it and paid for it, had a right
to expect it to be delivered within a
reasonable time and in fair condition.
It didn't come for four days, and when
it did GOMEZ
"Say, you, I employ men to hear
complaints Of this kind
II have no use for them. Your the
responsible man Of the house. The sys-
tenn is yours. IF it doesn't work smooth
~, it is your fault When that icebox
came four days after purchase, one Of
the castors was missing, the varnish
was scraped off the outside surface in
more than dozen places, and it looked
as if it had gone through a hard season
at cheap boarding house,
If there's anything wrong with it, -
reared Mr.. Spotcash. send it back,l
can't take up my time"-
'Stand a little farther away from
the phone, MI: Spotcash. Your voice
sounds as If you had your mouth full
Of mashed potatoes
"Who the devil are you?''
II think I gave you my name and
address-Gwilliams, 1 195 Pumpernickel
street. next door to Lazarus J. Spill
horn. You don't know me from a
stuffed alligator, but you may have
heard of Spillhorn. Don't you allow
yourself to get hot, Mr.. Spotcash, over
an icebox. The incongruity of such
thing ought to be apparent even to the
head of an overgrown junkshop''-
IL JOu "O4O hO1 q. 0A1, L O11Ou1A MIN
you out Of my ofice''--
You would probably need some help
IF that icebox had simply been defaced
a little, shouldn't have made any fuss
about it, but the stupid ass you sent to
deliver it,
Haven't you sense enough, you in
fernal idiot, to know that don't look
personally after the little details Of a
business amounting to millions Of dol
lars a year2''
eff you don't grasp every detail of
that business, you Cheap John notion
peddler in a gilt binding, you are not
fit to be the boss of It'll Don't try to
crawl out Of the responsibility by
throwing the blame on some boy. If
that icebox had simply been defaced a
little, I repeat, I shouldn't have made
any fuss about it, but the fellow you
sent to deliver it didn't have any more
sense than to tumble it on the side
walk
Bring it back, blank you''-
''Look here, Spotcash, that won't do,
you know. You are not allowed to talk
in that style over the telephone. Exer-
else little common sense, Spotcash.
You know it isn't my place to bring
that icebox back. The proper thing to
do, you thirty third degree haberdasher
and toy vendor, is to send me new
icebox and take the damaged one
back
"You blank fool, do you think you
can tell me-
''Again let me tell you, Spotcash,
not to use such language over the tele-
phone. Some remote ancestor of yours
may possibly have been gentleman.
Try to emulate him, Spotcash. In the
meantime please accept the assurances
Of my distinguished consideration, and
the icebox will remain in my dwelling
subject to your order: If it is replaced
properly and within reasonable time,
you will not hear from me again. If it
isn't, shall call you up, Spotcash, per-
sonally dozen times day through all
the public telephones in town. I have
not the patience to call at your store to
make the complaint. Your system Of
making exchanges is too complicated,
and I believe in going to headquarters
with all kicks anyhow. Never allow
yourself to think, Spotcash, that you
are too big man to listen to COM
plant from your meanest customer. I
think that's all Good morning, Spot
cash l"-Chicago Tribune
Good Lesson EARLY Learned.
twenty-five cents was the founda-
tion Of my fortune"
''Who gave it to your