Semi=weekly graphic., 1899-09-30
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 ; SALAMAGUNDI. , By wALrHAM wINKER. , @N~N<<-~<<N<~N>A
ITS A FACT THAT
By wALrHAM wINKEH

We are to have press club. No ladies, however, can join. Sad! Of course it is, but then what is the diff" they know the power of the press-as well as anyone.
 We have not heard lately from our old maids club, Are they wait ing the organization of bachelors club? Truly, it would be two clubs with but single thought.
 No thanks, Pm not member of any club. l expect 10 join one, how ever, when l get taken in"
 Bag pardon. but how are you Miss Vallahalla? Why, there is our old friend, Mir. Elk. Looks like he's got the horn of the dilemma. Deer me it's sad, but how would you like to be the Little Minister?n
 When the pugilist trust is formed and completed it will be knock out" blow to its predecessors.
 -I can deal with anything please in this column-axcept a deck of cards.
 -I was interrupted in my work yesterday by dainty figure gliding by the window around which was nice, neat blue dress, red belt and collarette and beautiful shirt waist. If could only see that smile az ain.
 -I saw ice shooting the chuteS" and:a man with shooting pains"
 The newest thing in hats-is feather.
 "Dust is mud with the juice squeezed out" How would you like to be the rain?
 A certain Chesterfieldian gentle man left our city the otLer day with charming belle who lives ITO miles away. de Clara, if this 'aint the truth. I'll tell you Mo anon about it.
 Last night at one of the hotels there was "boarder-ro The landlady is still making biscuits. This may be a roomer for all I know.
 Politics in Jefferson county is be- ginning to peep OCT the horizon. There is no use in feeling for voters; they'll all be out at the next election so will some of the sure-to-he elected candidates.
 -I heard chicken laugh in front of certain 5 ain street grocery the other day. Wouldn't that cackIe you.
 Our girls are good looking at any old tiDle-for sweet heart. My hours are from 50 minutes after F o'clock to l o'clock. 1 make this mention not that any one is looking for me. but merely to let my friends know when I'm atlesure.
 We have no bicycle boomers at present. Is the Sulphur Spring road punctured?
 We are soon to have tLe kind Of weather that will cause us all to sing, He never cares to wander from his own fireside
 Kentucky, politically, is being court martialed by the press throughout the country. When she is convicted we will then grant her a pardon, conditionally; i. e., if she will release herself from the present political pigmies andother ''extenua- ting circumstances" over which citI- zens have no secret dossier of ballots on the people of KeL lucky.
 The weather is getting like some of my acquaintances-p -pleasanter as each day passes around.
 Dewey arrived at Sandy Hook at day light. Tis well. Had he arrived by night light or electric light or electric light, some fellow in his anxiety to shake the AdmiraPs hand would have either had the daylights knocked out of him. of him or knocked them out of somebody else.
 How would you like to be the gir who adorns her hat with that small proiecrile known in Millinerydo m as feather?
 We can hear almost every day now the silver voices of the youngsters, just out of school-but not out of 
 Keep your weather eye open