Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1899-07-21
Washington Standard
YOU CAN'T BEAT EN-.
THIS WAS JOBSON'S CONCLU-
SION ABOUT WOMEN.
= was Prompted by Midnight Experience
with His Wife, in Which the Revenge that lie
had Planned so Well Went Sadly Astray
Wa-hinEtou Tar.

WI. JoiNpiI S'G ilDIlIt NUN ms Oiiite
at 1 Is one afternoon not long age
and found note from Mrs. JObson
saying that she had gone to hear the
performance OF long-haired pianist
and that he'd find his dinner all ready
for the girl to serve it.
That's a good thing, too," unused
Mr.. Jobson sulkily when he had read
the note. ats a wonder these mat.
tress headed geniuses that come over
here to this country and rake in
American dollars, hating Americans
all the time, wouldn't call their game
mt an hour that 'ud permit toiling
mans wife to be on hand at home to
give him something to eat when he
wants it," etc.
The opportunity was too good for
Mr.. Jobson to miss, so he declined to
eat any dinner when the servant put
it on the table. Instead he slammed
on his hat and went down town.
He wanted to give Mrs. Jobson a
lesson. He ate an unsatisfactory din
ner at a restaurant and then poked
around until it was time for variety
theatcr to open its doors. He had to
watch lot of poorly played billiard
games in order to put in his time and
to talk with lot OF bachelors, from
whose ways OF thinking he had de-
parted.
He was bored exceedingly by thea.
ter time. The show bored him still
more, but he stuck it out, for he
wanted to get home as late as possible,
the better to rub it in on Mrs. Jobson.
Py IL o'clock he reflected that he had
had pretty poor sort of an evening
his evening paper unread, his favorite
pipe neglected for lot of cigars that
gave him heartburn, a poor dinner,
idle talk with slew OF men that he
didn't want to talk to, and finally a
tawdry, cheap variety performance
that might have got laugh out of
him ten years before, but was only so
much ribaldry to him now.
He took in a couple more billiard
games, however, after the show and
threw couple of cocktails into him.
self, not because he cared to drink, but
because he wanted Mrs. Jobson to
smell his breath and thus perceive the
awful consequences of her conduct.
Mrs. Jobson was comfortably tucked
in bed when Mr.. Jobson got home
about half an hour after midnight.
She had not even left light burning
in the vestibule or in the bedroom.
She woke up very leisurely when Mr..
Jobson started one of the gas jets 60
ing. But she didn't say anything,
however.
Mr.. Jobson had expected to find her
up, fully dressed and in tears. He
was disappointed. He was more dis
appointed that she didn't greet him
with repinings. Mr.. Jobson saw that
she was likely to 60 to sleep again and
that he wasn't causing any grief at all
by being naughty and keeping still.
So he cleared his throat and said:
"Did he play the buck dance con-
certo in 2 minor with his hair, and
how was it?"
There was lot OF sarcasm in the
way Mr.. Jobson asked this question.
Mrs. Jobson didn't turn over at all
"What are you talking about" she
inquired sleepily.
al want to know if that Dutchman
that kept you away from your duty Of
serving a meal to your husband after
his day of grinding labor gave you
your moneys worth; also if you think
you're making any kind of hit with
anybody by these methods, hey?"
"Oh, the recital; that's what you're
thinking of, isn't it?" said Mrs. Jobson
sweetly. "Well, I didn't 60. 1 had
intended to 60 when started Out
shopping in the morning and left the
note for you telling you so, but
thought it might annoy you to have
me away from dinner, and so, when
concluded my shopping, about
o'clock this afternoon, I decided moi
to 70 to the recital. The Fourteenth
street car that brought me up town
passed the car that took you dowr
town. saw you on the car and won
dered why you were going in that di
rection. I suppose you had to g
back to your Office to work. III
shameful the way they're overworkini
you, you poor old thing" and ther
Mrs Jobson, who knew that Mr.. Job
son hadn't been working at his Office
turned over and subsidized into dream!
slumber.
"You can't beat 'em," thought Nh
Jobson when he got into bed. HI
was thinking OF women in general.
The Expert Met His Match.
Chicago journal.
At North Side boarding house ont