The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-10-16
WANTED THE CEhAN
But a Small Boy Thought she
Wanted Something Else.
AND SCREAMED FIRE
MANY CAME TO ASSIST THE
HELPLESS CREATURE.
SCREAMED FIRE
Explanations Were Of No Avail, Only
Complaining Matters More-I In
s the End Her Husband Was OBJ
6 1iged to Apologize to the Whole
Town and Received the Blame.
.lchicago Inter-.Ocean.Y

OI lueIIl personality lie ISM O. ilQuElNtl%
over his low status in their. esteem but
the feeling that the Rttles bald-headed
man on the corner may sue him. For
Islander at any moment, or the 200
pound six-fooIer opposite may meet
him face to face some morning and es-
say physical reprisals for certain OBJ
servations and comments made under
press of circumstances. or the entire
block may unite in a. conspiracy 70 ruin
his reputation by way OF revenge for
his deadly parallel between population
of the block and the idiatic ward in an
asylum. doesn't conduce to his peace OF
mind. and he Is thinking Of moving.
Worst of all. Mrs. Smith says that 1t
is all his fault, for not being willing to
do a few errands.
The few errands comprised visits to
most of the groceries. meat shops.
dairies and deIicatessen stores within
ten blocks radius, for Mrs Smith has
a highly specific system of marketing.
After looking the list over, Smith said
that he was sorry. but he had 20 so to
the city early, and wouldn't have time
to make the rounds, out that he would
be happy to hire half a. dozen mesSen-
ger boys and parcel the job out among
them.
"Of course, you haven't time, i" said
Mrs. Smith resignedly. "but If every
thing isn't just right you'll have plenty
of time to tell how it should be. ANY
way, can't go out this morning, for
I'm going to wash my hair, and it'll
take hours to dry. I'll have to send
Bridget"
So the list was turned over to Bird
get, and she left after having warned
her mistress to look out for the ice
man.
1--WE do be needin' twicet as much ice
tn day as he's bringln' other days"
said she, "for to last over Sunday
1t always makes Mrs. Smith angry
for Smith to hint that she has a habit
of forgetfulness, so she gave him a
look of superior scorn in response to his
suggestion that she write note and
leave it outside for the iceman, and
said:
''He always gets here about noon.
and I shall sit down in the basement
and tell him through the window
She Calls For Ice.
1t happened, however, that the ice
man was late, also that Bridget, after
sundry struggles with the market list,
had returned to the house for further
instructions and sailed forth for the
second time. Consequently Mrs Smith
was alone in the house when the ice
L
The stress of explaining matters to
Bridget had quite driven the ice ques-
ton out of her mind, and it was while
she was sitting near q SeC0Dd-ti00r
rear window, with her hair floating In
the breeze, that she heard the long
drawn call of the iceman below: Time
was lacking fer her to reach the base
ment. She ran to the front window,
threw open the blinds and called out:
'IcemanI Oh, I-i-i-i-icemanr
But the heavy wagon was already
well up the street, and amidst it's rum
bling the iceman did not hear her
voice A small boy near the corner
hea-4. He turned and looked. He be-
held a lady with disneveled hair and
agonized face leaning from q window.
Her appearance and the l0ng-drawn
''I' in her call brought enlightenment
to the youthful brain.
"Fi-i-i-irer' shouted the small boy at
the top of his voice. There's a house
afire-'
That magical process whereby urch-
ms drop down from the cloudless skies
and exude from the creviceS between
the barren cobblestones began straight
way. In fifteen seconds a dozen of the
tribe were capering in front of the
Smith house with Indicative fingers
pointed at the window and clamOring
voices. Window after window in the
adjacent houses went UP with q bang
and eager voices shouted question and
question across the street.
Men hurried up and women hurried
out from the doorways crying, oh,
isn't it awful?' and then asking what
it was. This was all very painful for
Mrs. Smith. She had hastily with
drawn her head from public view and
was wondering what was going to hap
pen when Mr.. Perkins, who lives across
the street and had just alighted from
mis- car at the corner, came dashing up
with all the speed that his 200 pounds
permitted. closely followed by little Mr..
Mears, the lawyer, whose bald head
CLEANS like a beacon on the next stoop
but one to Smiths ON moonlight even
ines when he sits out
where's the fire." the both cried.
"Therel Therel" wh0Oped the band OF
urchins. 'Iady's UP therei Fi-i-i-ireF'
Don't be afraid. you'll be saved"
shouted Jones. Where's the fire alarm
box?"
At this Mrs. Smith lost her wits.
Otherwise, as she &fterward declared,
she never would have thrust her head.
in its DISAGREEMENT, upon public notice.
At any rate, she probably would have
been more specific in her explanation
than she was. Being nettled she popped
out and cried:
Not fire; not fire. IceT'
Then she popped back again. Instant
ly the bright and shining head of Mr..
Mears' hit upon the solution.
Fire, Ice and Sunstroke.
tits sunstr0ke, " he cried ''She wants
ice. Shove some through the window u
Mrs. Smith rushed at the window to
haul it down. Several BOTTLES stood on
-
she swept them out and they fell into
the street, smashing at the feet of
Messrs. Perkins, Means and other res
cusrs. Then she lodged back and
knocked over a screen, which fell
against the window and smashed it,
Back fled Perkins, Means "a Co.
aghast. Mrs. Perkins appeared at the
aAlfred!" she shrieked. Alfred come
away. She will murder youIi She's
crazy
Instantly the street was a-buzz with
the information that q crazy woman III
the house had had al sunstroHe. and
/! after trying ID murder people bN throyS-
fling heavy eroekery at them had set III
house on fire. This was the substance
/ of what Smith learned when he aFrlVs a
at the opportune time He Started i1I
| the steps but was eorralled By. I'ss,kIn:
and Means.
I a@Dou't go in there" they cried
She'll kill you"
@Let@ne gos'' shouted Smith ''Wshdl
kill nae?'
That woman IN there, Wait for. til
! police.'t
\ Smith said something about the DO
\ lice that would have cost him a SIS fin
for lese majeste in COURT broke a5vaJ
and entered the house. 40 tile topa b
the stairs his wife fell UPON his nee
| and wept historically.
7 tried to call the icemars q. SCI
/ sobbed, sand he didn't cones >t5+