Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-05-25
DlNkElSPlEL- ON DEWEY
The German Philosopher Talks Interest
iDgly of the Hero of Manila.

Vot wonderful ding skence vas. yet.
Nit der assistance of skienCe Herr Maca-
roni hat invented der wireless telegraph,
vch id is a invention to make messenger
boys walk fasder midouid reading notes
vile you wait.
Macaroni vunce. He vas making experi-
MEETINGS at dot time init wireless politics.
Abould fifdeen minutes afterwards he vent
broke.
Veil, anyhow. 1 hat yust been using
Herr Macaronl's wireless to govensation d
shord dalk init my oft college chump
Chorge Dewey, vich he is der man der
whole Onion Shades is Wiling to be his
free boarding house undil furder orders,
yet.
l will repetition der dalk vich We hat over
Herr Macaroni's wireless.
"Guton morgen, Chorge" I set. OK
COOS me vot 1 INTERRUPTION you-vas you
busy. alretty?"
Vel, veil! Hello Dinky," set Chorge,
making smiinss Offer der wireless. "Nen,
vas nod busy. | vas yust blinking aboud
Imaginable. | hat yust figured ouid dot
If der Specific Ocean was dry land be-
dween der Phllypeanuts Islands und Sam
F'rumslsco, und If Naggynaldo could keeb
up his gait und dodge der police, he would
be able to choin his goot friend Wilkinson,
in Boston, abould twendy minutes alder
sefen nexd Toostay efenirg"
"Nitknson!" | set who vas Nitkin-
son? l know Imaginable FREDDY veil. bud
hat meier med up NIT Wilkinson"
Wilkinson" set Chorge he is der chen
tleman in Boston vot Ifs on baked beans
and treason. und drinks der Union Shades
Guffernment is a tam foolishness because
id will not atmit dot he is der only people
on der board walk In der Phillypeanuts
lankvitch Wilkinson means a chackass
mool."
Chorge" ! set. "He moofs in der mosd
exclusive set in Boston, aind i'd"
How dit you make dot oud? set
Chorge
"Vell," I set, 'he moofs so exclusion
ingly dot der Union Shades Guffernment
has exclusoned him from der mail bags,
und der ledder carriers hat insdructios 5
to put der thumbs to DER noses ind Wig
gle dem ven dey pass him py. | am going
to sbeak to Mike Hanna aboud Wilkinson
neXd week. l dink | will ged Mike Hanna
to nomination Naggyaldo und Wilkinson
as der tigget for 1905. Der platform viii
be, BE sure you write, den run ahead
CHion Shades. Haf you got any ENGAGE
mcnts ven you come home to dinner.
Chorge?
We'll. yust few. Wy dit you make in
quirings, Dinky?'
We'll, Chorge," l set, II hat yust been
appointmented cOmicky Ply der Cidzens
of Hackingsack to invitation you to have
some strawberry shordcake nit dem on
der sigsteenth uf Chuly. Could you
Chorge?'
Veil" set Chorge lied me consultation
my notebook vunce. on Chuly der fairst
! am invtaticned to took breakfast nit
der cidizens uf Denver, Callinerado. Id is
marked ffdeen cends a cup and sisser. AID
two O'Clock in der p m, part uf der same
4fIprnOOp | q m "a n "A IL
lunch NIT der cidizens uf Portland, Maine
Id is marked twendy cends spoon. On
Chuly der second am inVtationed 10 took
subber nit der cidizens uf Pckeepsome
New York. Id is marked twenty-five
cends a napkin ring. Der next morning
am invtationed to pink tea NIT der lad-
les IF Seattle. Id is marked abouid TWEEN
dy-fife sends pink. on Chuly der fourth
l hat been inVitationed to took breakfdst
dinner, subber and fireworks nit PRESIDE nj
Nillum Mckinley und Mike Hanna. II
der fireworks sif ouid Ruzzle Alger viii ex-
plode for my benefit Id Is marked eighdy-
nine cends worth to efery meal ind he'll
yourself to coffee zwe dimes if ncces
serary. On Chuly fifth | am invitatonet
TO took breakfast NIT der Var Deparl ment
Id Is marked eighdeen cents a can, NIT del
ambulance Waiting at der corner mIdouic
eXdra charges. On Chuly sigsth | am in
vitationed to spend der efening und took q
DlNkWet nut der ClllZeHS VI MODIe, 1tllON
bama, ware der naughty mobile hors les:
wagons come from. Id is marked thirdly
nine cends a vneglass. Der next morning
l am invitatoned TO took crullers und sis
sage nit der cidizens uf Chicago. Id il
marked eight ceuds fork. Dem vot d0an'C
use forks Will be admitted for five Cends
Ven dit you say you want me, Dnky?
"Ad Hacking sack, Chuly der sigsteenth
Strawberry Chordcake und peach ice
creamings ad abouid twendy-two cenIs
grab. Viii you do id Chorge, viii you?'
YELL" set Chorge, II will try to be hun
cry nit Everybody, bud ! hat only Nur
stummlcl, und ] am afraid id viii got del
!, dyspepsums in der fairst round Howefer
. led us hope for der besd ! will vent int
draining ind eat nuddings bud piggles unc
peanut brddlc for der neXd month"
IND den der insureingnists cut der wire
less, und vas separatoned from Chorge
DIEDERlCH DINKELSPlEL.
(From the Baltimore Americar--Cory
| right, 1899, by George V. Hobart)
PERSONAL AND GENERAL.