davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02
OFFERS A LITTLE SQUEEZE.
Enelishman's Attentions on Ship
board ENcites Chicago WOman's
Laughter.

They were speaking of the trivial
thing it requires to create mirth when
mirth is eminently unbecoming the
situation, says the Chicago Chronicle.
Il crossed the ocean once with an
Englishman for my neXt-door neighbor
at dinner began lady in the group,
'or. rather, | started out with him as
dinner companion, but after the first
meal so disgraced myself with uncon-
trollable laughter that | never ventured
near the dining-room all the rest of the
voyage"
What could it have been to merit
a penance like that?" asked one of her
interested audience.
We'll, I'll tell you," began she, laugh
ing again at the recollection. He was
an awfully solemn, pompous-looking
man, with Britain stamped all over him.
We had noticed him and ioked about
his checks and his accent when we first
got Oh board, and when found him
next me at dinner | was in a dangerous
state of effervescence, anyway. And it
began with the very first course. had
kept turned away from him as much as
possible after being seated, but when |
looked at my oysters discovered that
mine was the only plate that did not
contain the half of a lemon. l was
looking about for a waiter when the
Englishman leaned over me with his
piece in his fingers and asked, politely:
Can't | give you little squeeze?'
Il snickered and laughed and gurgled
and choked and did everything else
that was digracefully i'll bred. But ]
couldn't have remained sober to save
my head. Do you wonder l stayed on
deck for the rest of the voXaCe?"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02
LETTERS COME TOO OFTEN.
Georgia Country Folk who Object to
Modern improvements in Mail
Delivery,

The new revision Cf the star routes
SOUTH remarked Chief Clerk Day of
the railway mail service to New Or
leans TimesDemocrat man. "and en-
abling lots of country folks to get their
letters and daily papers where they
formerly received them only once or
twice a week. Strange to say, however
the change is not always hailed with
joy.
Over in Gilmer county, Ga, star
route agent juggled things around so
as to get Il siX-day RAIL into a weekly
town, and was chuckling over the idea
that he had been a benefactor to the
whole district, when the postmaster
hunted him up, with face as long as
a backwoods sermon.
81 wish you all would fix it to change
that thar mail back agin like it was,
said the old fellow, earnestly. What
exclaimed the agent, in amazement.
Why, what on earth is the matter?'
Well, it's like this said the postmaster.
Our folks has been used to comm fer
their letters every Saturday an was
well suited. Now, this here new scheme
has been started. and it breaks 'em all
up. They feel kinder uneasy like on
less they come in every day. and they
just can't do no work. The crops is
gettin' plump neglected. We all want
you to switch her back agin as quick
as you kim
The agent went away deeply q
gusted ard sent in a special report in
which he intimated that an annual mail
would about meet the needs of the
county. At last reports. though, it was
standing at the six-day schedule"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02
REBUKE OF A WOMAN.
She Told a Crowd of SIiEgshOoters
They Would BE better Employed
with Big Game.

In slingshot time a number of small
boys armed with the implements of
torture that proved so disastrous to Go
Hath in the days when David fought
his fortunate duel. were congregated
in one of the tiny triangles OF the city.
dealing death and destruction to the
focks of English sparrows resting in
the trees surrounding the small park.
Several shots had had a disastrous eff
feet upon the little winged creatures
and the boys were preparing to slay all
the others when the scornful voice of
a woman made them miss their aim and
turn around in guilty haste, says the
Chicago Post.
You are nice sort of boys, you are,
she exclaimed, disdainfully. Ito kill the
poor little birds. Why don't you choose
something of your own size to fight.
and not touch something that is small
er than you are. That isn't the way to
be manly at all. If you must shoot
something just go up to Lincoln park
and pepper the lions and the tigers"
and the woman tripped away.
At the corner she turned again to
watch the effect of her suggestion and
found the boys quietly crossing the
street toward home with sunken heads
and no suspicion of the presence of
slingshot. The advice had saved the
birds.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02
DENS OF HORROR.
such Are the Disease Infested Pris-
Ons of MOrOccO-A Vile
System.

The prison system and treatment OF
prisoners is worse in Morocco than in
any other country in the world.
Men are arrested-often merely &c
spite some one whom they have been so
unfortunate as to offend.> .>and who pos
sess some power-and flung into pris-
on, where they would be left to
starve did not their relatives or friends
bring them food, for no arrangements
whatever are made by the authorities
for the feeding of prisoners. All that is
provided is prison, generally crowded
with prisoners dying of the most loath
some and infectious diseases. dark and
unventilated; and custodians who are
quite as brutal and savage as the prison
system itself.
Prisoners are east into these hotbeds
of disease, generally without the most
farcical pretense of trial, to die and
rot if their crimes are light, or their
enemies impotent. Otherwise they are
probably tortured in some way or an
other. Starving merely is too good for
them in the opinion Of the authorities.
Not long ago merchant who had
dared to claim payment for goods sup
piled to a friend of one of the court Off
cials was cast into prison without trial,
and after suffering torments in the
midst of a mass of diseased humanity
for months was taken out, showed into
a barrel fitted with long spikes and
rolled down high, steep hill. The bar
rel eventually plunged into the sea
with its torn and mangled cargo. I'm
prisonment, torture and death for dar-
ing to present his billi
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

Health and strength carry us
through dangers and make us safe in
the presence of peril. A perfectly
strong man with rich, pure blood, has
nothing to fear from germs. He may
breathe in the bacilli of consumption
with impuuity. If there is q weak
spot where the germs may find an en-.
trance to the tissues, then the trouble
begins Disease germs propagate
with lightning-like rapidity. Once
in the blood, the only way to get rid
of them is to kill them. This is what
DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Discov
ery is for. 1t purifies the blood. That
means that it kills the germs, but
that is only part of what it does. 1t
assists digestion by stimulating the
secretion of digestive fluids, 80 pro
noting assimil ,tion and nutrition;
pnrifies and enriches the blood and 30
supplies the tissues with the food
they need Ii builds up strong, healthy
I esh and puts the whole body into
a disease resisting state.
Send II one cent stamps to cover
cost of mail ng only, and get his great,
The Peoples Common Sense Medical
Adviser, absolutely FREE. Address.
Worlds Dispensary Medical Associ-
alton, No. 663 Main Street, Buffalo, N.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

One of the wealthy women on the
South side teaches a Sunday school
class composed of street urchins. She
lost an Angora kitten last week, and on
Sunday told her class she wonld give q
reward to any boy who could find it. The
next day small redheaded boy rang the
front door bell and WAS uehered into the
presence OF the Sunday school teacher
The boy carried dirty bundle done up
in burlap.
"Hereth thoo thitten," he said holding
out the parcel.
The woman did not understand the
topgue-tied remark and drew back from
the untIdy bundle.
my child don't know what you are
talking about" she said, in tone of Of
tended dignity.
"9ereih thoo thitten," l thaw him
tbkIppin' up the threet, replied the boy.
Il don't understand you," declared the
woman. Don't try to give me that hor-
rid looking bundle, for don't want it,"
The bow gave her one keen look. Then
he seemed to be carefully framing up q
sentence.
"Hereth thoo tam old tat" he sald ::
"Lbe thratched me, and / want the mcn-
ey."
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02
TRAINED DOGS.
Are Said to BE the Most Profitable
Attraction in the Naude.
Vile Line.

'Considering the investment. trained
dogs are one of the most profitable at
fractions in the vaudeville line" said an
oldtime Snowman recently. Il suppose
there are at least - or Is troupes of
them scattered over the country" he
continued, and the good ones easily
average couple Of hundred week and
expenses. As there are no salaries to
pay Tor the dogs and no hotel bills for
anybody except the proprietor and one
keeper the returns are rather hand
some. Nowadays they have the busi
ness down to such a fine point that the
sudden death Of any of the animals can
be readily remedied by telegraphing TO
New York, where several men make a
speciality of keeping standard trick
dogs in stock. A dog troupe usually
consists of five performers. one of
which is star. The star proba bly, cost
$3.50 and the others about $50 apiece
Mongreis of no intrinsic worth are gen
orally selected for training purposes,
because they learn as quickly as the
thoroughbr and if anything happens
TO them the loss is SO much lighter.
There is a standard series of tricks
which they are taught to do. so that one
can easily replace another. and little
ingenuity on the part of the Snowman
supplies the variety to the programme.
1t goes without saying that the star
performer has his special act, which
some of the rest attempt. | am speak
ing now of the general run of such en-
tertainments. There are few collec-
tions of finely bred dogs that have been
most ella borately and marvelously
trained by their exhibitors and, of
course, they are unique. One such
troupe is at present coming money by
the bushel in Cuba"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02
UNFORTUNATE MISTAKE.
Dramatic Incident of the Cuban
Blockade Between the Porter
ard the Wiaslow.

Frequently in the anxiety TO discover
whether the strange craft were friend
or foe without betraying her own pres
ence, a torpedo boat was fired on by her
own friends, says Harper's Magazine.
The blockading squadron was taking
no chances of any kind of approaching
dark little craft and used the western
method of shooting first and inquiring
afterwards. In the excitement conse-
qnent on the signal "Enemy's torpedo
boat sighted" even torpedo-boats en-
gagged each other. This happened one
of the first nights off Havana. The mo-
ment the signal was made. all the scout
ing vessels in the vicinity converged at
full speed toward the point where the
signal stars had been seen. Suddenly
out of the gloom of the night and right
across the bows of the Porter rushed q
dark object, the sparks from its fun
nels and the dim outline marking it dis
tinctly as torpedo-boat. No ques-
tions were asked by the Porter, for We
knew no other torpedo-boat of ours
was on that section of the blockade.
There was a heavy sea and dense clouds
of black smoke were sweeping down be
tween us from our tunnels. This
fortunately caused the first shots TO
go wild, and instantly, in answer to our
fire, the night signal was shown. II
was one of our own boats that had
come from Cardenas with dispatches.
and she was looking for the flagship. A
joking apology and hearty laugh from
us all ended our little encounter and the
two boats parted, not to meet again for
weeks-not until the Porter. returning
to Key West from her cruise to Porto
Rico. found the Winslow battle-scarred
and torn by the enemy's shell. her cap
tain wounded and her executive officer
and five of her crew dead. II was no
lauphinU matter this time
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02
Fer Sale or Trade?
Box 2O6.

English Spawn Llnlment removes
All Hard, Soft or Calloused Lumps
and Blemishes from horses, Blood
Spavins, Curbs, Splints, Sweeney
Ring-Bone Stiles, Sprains, all Swo.
len Th-oaJs, Coughs, etc. Save $50
by the use of one bottle. Warranted
the most wonderful BlemisL Cure
ever known. Sold by &c. Buerstatte.
Druggist, Manitowoc. Wis
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

For frost bites, burns. indolent sores
eczema. skin disease, and especially
Piles, DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve
staDds first and best. Look out for
dishonest people vino try to initiate
and counterfeit it. It's their endorse
ment of good article. Worthless
goods are not initiated. Get Wits
Witch Hazel Salve. Henry Hinrichs.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

LaGrippe is again epidemic. Every
precaution should be taken to avoid it.
its specific cure is One Minute Cough
Cure. A. j. Sheperd, Publisher Ag
ricultural Journal and Advertiser.
Elden, Mo, says: No one will be dis
appointed in using One Minute Congh
Cure for LaGrippe." Pleasant to
take, quick to act. Henry Hinriche.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

The latest application of nickel steel
is for the construction of racing yachts
a German firm IS to supply the nickel
steel plates for the construction of the
Shamrock, the yacht which is being
built to sail for the American cup tits
being designed by William Fife, of
Fairlie, and the work upon it has be-
gun already.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02
Wanted to Bottle the Bahy.

The naturalists wife had gone out
for a few minutes and left the ba by in
charge of her absent-minded husband
When she returned she was not little
disturbed TO discover the baby crying
dismally, and its father. with collec-
ton of his largest bottles of alcohol be-
fore him, evidently at his wits end.
why, David, David." cried the good
woman. snatching up the child, what
is the matter?' "Welf. my dear" re-
sponded the great naturalist. simply,
gazing at the baby, Its very strange,
but can't find bottle large enough to
bold him anywhere"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

As that gallant can best affect pre-.
tended passion for one woman who
has no true love for another, 80 he
that has no real esteem for any of the
virtues can best assume the appear
ance of them all.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02
IufaIffble.

An eloquent Detroit preacher tells
this among his early experiences in a
rural parish. One of his parishioners
was very i'll. and finally sent for the min
ister. who found the man rather reti-
cent, and Anally asked if there was any
thing ne could do.
"Parson." was the answer, sleep
would make me well, but the doctor
can't make me sleep. | wondered If
you'd preach me that long sermon L
heard last July."-Detroit Free Press.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

''You say your country consists of a
great many islands!" said the Ameri-
can politician.
Yes. answered the Filipino.
And these are all separated by
channels of water, of course?'
Yes"
And you don't want to come into
our country? Why, you're foolish.
Think OF the chance you'd have at a
river and harbor bill.''
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

In the nature of man, the humblest
or the hardest, there is something that
lives in all of the Beautiful or the For
tunate, which hope and desire have
appropriated, even in the vanities of
childish dreams.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

Mental recollt ctions are .quired by
reading; those of imagination are born
of more immediate impression, such
as give life to thought, and seem to
render us the witnesses of what We
learn.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

Not one child dies where ten form
erly died from Group. People have
learned the value of One Min lte
Cough Cure and use it for severe
lung and throat troubles. 1t imme
diately stops coughing. 1t never fails.
Henry Hinrichs.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02
Some Went to Glory.

l once asked district nurse, says
writer in the Cornhill Magazine, how
the various sick cases had been going
on during my absence from the parish.
At once the look which knew so well
crossed her face, but her natural pro-
fessional pride strove for the mastery
with the due righteousness which the
considered necessary for the occasion.
At last she evolved the following
strange mixture: "Middling well, sir,
some of ems gone straight to glory.
but ! am glad to say others are nicely
on the mend"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

These are dangerous times for the
health. Group, colds and throat
troubles lead rapidly to Consumption.
A bottle of One Minute Cough Cure
used at the right time will preserve
life. health and a large amount OF
money. Pleasant to take; children
like it. Henry Hinrichs.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

The individual, in relation to the
multitude of human influence that act
upon him. is as spring to many rain
drops; but IN relation to another in
dividuaI mind, as a rain-drop to a
spring.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

j. Sheer, Sedalia. Mo-, conductor on
electric street car line, writes that his
little daughter was very low "ltn
Group, and her life saved after al
physicians had failed, only by using
One Minute Cough Cure. Henry
Hinrichs.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

"Now, children" said the Sunday school
teacher, ''can yon tell me OF a greater
power than a king?"
"Yee, na'am," cried little boy, eagerly.
What, Wlllle?" asked the teacher, be-
nIgnly.
IAN ace, ma'am," was the unexpected
reply.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

When genius is united with true
feeling, our talents multiply our woes.
We analyze, we make discoveries,
and, the hearts urn of tears being ex-
haustless, the more we think tho more
we feel it flow.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

If you have cough, throat irrlta
ton, weak lungs, pain in the chest.
difficult breathing, cream or hoarse
ness, let US suggest One Minute Cough
Cure. Always reliable and safe. Hen
ry Hinrlchs.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

Of all learning the most difficult de
partmentis is to unlearn; drawing a mis-
take or prejudice out of the head is as
painful as drawing a tooth, and the pa
tlent never thanks the operator.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02
Henry Hinrichs. druggist.

did you fall?" sked the officlous one
of the man who had slipped on the ice.
Fall" roarad the man, witheripgly;
"no! merely sat down to think over this
expansion question"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02
FOR SALE CHEAP.

A farm of 40 acres, In the town of Cato,
with good buildings and 4 ice orchard.
For particulars, inquire OF r. w. Burke .
Manitowoc, Wis. This is rare chance
to get nice home cheap. 2
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

Chamberlain's Eye and Skin Ointmen
Is unequalled for Eczema, letter, Sab
Rheum, Scald Head, Sore Nipples, Chappe'
Hands, Itching Piles, Burns, Frcst Rites
Chronic Sore Eyes and Granuiated Eye Lids
For sale by druggists at % cents per box
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02
TO HORSE owHERS.

For putting a horse in fine healthy con
dition try DIR. Cady's Condition Powders
They tone up the system, aid digestion, cure
loss of appetite, relieve constipation, correct
kidney disorders ard destroy worms, gil ;ne
new life to an old or over-worked horse. 25
cents per package. For sale by druggists.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

Before the discovery of One Minute
Cough Cure, ministers were greatly
disturbed by coughing congregations,
No it excuse for 1t now. Henry HIN
richs.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

The greater a man ID the less ne
necessarily thinks of himself, for his
knowledge enlarges with his attain
ments.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02
Temple of Servants,

The small town Of Werda, in the king
dom of Dahomey is celebrated for It's
temple of serpents. long building in
which the priests keep upward of 1,006
serpents of all sizes. which they feed
with birds and frogs brought to them as
offerings by the natives.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

'Give me liver regulator and l
can regulate the world" said genius.
The druggist handed him bottle of
DeWitt's Little Early Risere, the
famous little pills. Henry Hinrichs,
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02
RELIEFIN NIX HN;RN.

Distressing Kidney aud Bladder als
eases relieved in six hours by the "Ne9
Great South American Kidney Cure
This new remdy is great surprise OIL
account OF its exceeding promptness II
relieving pain in the bladder, kidneys,
back and every part of the urinary pas
sages in male or female. 1t relieves re-
tentiop of water and pain IN passing 1t
almost Immediately. If you want quick
relief and cnre this is your only remedy
Sold r" T. @. Buerstatte. Druggist, Mani
towoo. Wis.
"D) yon know. | can't tell lie with
ont blushing?" HIN. You are net
blushlng now"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

He who searches for words to clothe
his thoughts does not know exactly
what he wishes to express.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

There is thought to be very little
use in a mans meaning well, II be
cannot express his meaning by MS
acts.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

"But would give the world for you"
IF you had the world you might have
nee"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

Sincerely to aspire after virtue is to
gain her; and zealously to labor after
her wages is to receive them.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02
WISCONSIN CENTRAL TIME TABLE
PASSENGER TRAINS,
q M

PASSENGER TRAINS,
Gong West.
Leave Manltowoc ..-......9 dU a. m. 2:50 p. m
Menash6 ~ = 4:45
:" Neenah .......s. 200 4" 500
Arrive Ashland 9:i5 p. IN. 1855 a.
: st. Paul ...,.... ...... ABS S:l5 "
= Mnneapolis.-..... 500 = $50 Z"
500 a, n, train out of ManitOwnc makes con
nectIon at Neeuah AT 200 a. m. with train for
Oshkosh Fond du Lac and other poiuts south
thus giving ManItowoc people chance to go to-
Oshkosh and Fond du Lac the same day-2:5A .,
III train also makes connection at Neenah at 5;lb
p, m for south.
Gong East.
Leave Minneapolis. ..........7:20 a. m. 1908 p. m
" st. Paul .... ...............SOO I4O
= Ashland ....... 90. $40 " 1:25 =
= Neenah u. -.........z;I5 D. IN sos a. m.
= Menasha .-...-...... ..5:25 1i5 "
Arrive Manituwoc. ...........I I:i5 eal5 ="
7:05 a. m. train ont of Neeuah gets connection
from North and South at 1909 4. VI. 5;l5 p, m.
train gets connection from South at $40 p. IN.
w. H VANpEGRIFF. Agt.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

The attachment of brethren in dis
tress surpass es that of brethren by
birth.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

LADIES: Only so C. per month. 10 day e
treatment free, OF best remedy in the
world for ailments of our sex.
Address, Mrs. E. Hemenway,
3mapr13 CampbelIsport, Wis.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02
FOR SALE AND RENT.

Five dwelling heuses with modern i'm
provemente, conveniently located. For
information apply at Office of A. j. En-.
dress, agent, 815 Quay St.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

N ira I'D you make an impression
on hirn?" L nth Yes, but It did not
last: he was too soft"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-03-02

MRS. LOUISA HAGENSTEIN.
FORTUNE TELLER.
Northeast corner of Marshall and 18th
Str, Manitowoc, Wis. 2t2