The Virginia enterprise. [volume] (Virginia, St. Louis County, Minn.) 1893-19??, 1899-10-27
VOWS OF MARRIAGE AND THEIR
MEANING

paulou.
VOWS OF MARRIAGE AND THEIR
MEANING.
Are ycu not afraid that, in educating
girls to the ideas of personal independ-
encc, you will lessen their regard for
marriage and cause them to look lightly,
if not slightingly, upon the family life,
that life which, after all, is the best for
Il woman and the one in which she finds
her truest and most lasting hapiness?'
OF course, it was Il man who asked
that question. But it was not an Ameri-
can. 1t was foreigner, who had been
surprised at the attitude of independence
which the women of this country as
sumed From the standpoint of the
man. it was Il legitimate question, as
we'll rs Il serious one, and he listened
with interest to the reply. Whether he
though he seemed to see the sense OF
the arguments brought to bear on the
subject.
This is the attitude which many we'll
intentiuned persons take toward any ef-
fort to train girls to become bread-win-
ners, seemingly ignoring the fact that the
family life being the natural one, the
simply because she becomes working
factor in the world, but that she will
come to her kingdom all the more royal
ly for the very reason that she comes
voluntarily, and does not assume the du-
ties of wife as Il means Of support be-
cause no other way is open to her.
1t will always remain true that, no
matter how many women become self
supporting, the majority will still marry.
1t is the most natural thing in the world
for them to do. and it is the life for
which both men and women are. intended.
But the wage-earning girl, the perfectly
independent one, has it in her power to
be sure that she is taking the right step,
and can give more thoughtful care to the
matter than can the one who is hurried
into it from motives of convenience.
And marriage is worthy of Infinitely
more thought and consideration than is
often given it. 1t is one of the most
solemn Of the SacramentS which the
church has ordained, and it holds within
itself the possibilities for the greatest
happiness or the most abject misery. 1t
carrlessly, but reverently, and should not
be baSed-although it too often is-upon
mere physical attraction, but upon the
higher plane of mind and chara cter.
Marriage is Il divine partnership, in
which each partner has equal duties and
equal rights. When in the beginning
God made man, and saw that his work
meet for hinl-not as Il subordinate, bu:
as fellow worker, sharer of the bless:
ings and burdens, Of the sorrows as well
as the joys, whose task III life is to sup
plement his, and together they were to
work out the salvation of the new world
into which they had been placed. They
were to travel through life side by side,
hand hand n S.inuIo flo tho
striking on ahead, while the other painted
and struggled i'll the effort to keep up in
Il forced march.
There has been 50 much nonsense
talked and written about marriage that
the common sense and the sacredneSs OF
it have been in danger of being entirely
overlooked. Very young persons, of both
sexes, invest it with Il halo of romance
that is as unreal as it is unhealthy, and
if they marry before they have given
sense time to moderate romance, they are
likely to find the reality quite different
affair, and then comes the painful awak-
ening, and the days of unhappiness. The
hero of the girls dream is no hero, after
all, but Il very human sort of fellow,
just as she is herself Il human woman
instead of an embryo angel. He may BE-,
no doubt is, nice enough sort of fell
low, Just one of the everyday sort, who
make up the world of average men, hut
ohC AAA WI SAIpSu I'LL lucdl " W uOHI size
had given his face and figure, and h.
simply could not live up to her ideals. 1t
was not his fault He had done the best
he could, and no one would have been
more surprised than he could he have
known what it was that she had worshipetl
and called by his name: He had not de.
ceived her, she had deliberately deceived
herself. Deliberately, yes, for had she
exercised her powers of perception, and
her common sense, she would have
known him for just what he really was.
and not for an impossibly perfect speci-
men, whose very perfections-had he pos
sessed them-would have made him I'M
bearable as a constant companion. I'm
perfect humanity has not yet reached the
point where it can consort with perfec-
ton without a degree of discomfort.
Girls are much more to blame than
they imagine for the attitude which
young men hold toward them. When Il
girl akes one day to the knowledge that
there is one special face in the world
which makes all the sunshine for her,
one person whose presence makes her
pulses beat, and brings Il strange new
happiness to her heart, her first impulse
is toward self effacement. She desires
only to echo his opinions, to model herself
by his ideals. This may be all very
sad mistake in practice. 1t is putting
direct bid upon cOnceit and selfshness,
and Il man must be more than usually
level headed, and have more than the
average amount of common sense, who
does not become 4 prig and tyrant
under such inducements.
He certainly has every temptation set
in his way, and if he has not head
enough to stand this degree of servilc
worship he cannot be blamed if he de-
velol's Il propensity for having his own
way absolutely, and for insisting upon
it. Certainly she who has drilled him
into the habit should be the last one to
complain of it. She is reaping the har-
vest of her own sowing.
In making up your mind regarding the
man whom you will marry. the one whom
You will honor by trusting in his hands
your life's happiness, look first of all at
the character of him who asks the gra-
clous gift from you. If there is anything
which you fear may develop into some
unpleasant trait which shall sadden your
life and shadow your home, be firm and
steadfast in your refusal. There is no
more dangerous thing in the world than
marrying man who has the slightest
Indication Of depraved taste or the hint
OF Il quality that may degenerate into
un'oveliness. You may think that YOU
can keep and hold him, but not once in a
thousand times is such ali experiment -
successful one. You may deem it hard
snip almost too great to be borne to give
him up. but what you will suffer in do
ing so is right and wise and tho h..+ for