Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1899-06-26
JUST FOR FUN.

own mind? She (sweetly)-Yes! Yor
surely ought to know as much al
| that!
Don't you think applause is out o.
place in church? Decidedly. Just
think if preacher should interpret i,
as an encore.
Biggs-Does Dobbs ever bring any
thing back that he borrows? Boggs-
o, yes. He brought back my snow
shovel on the first of May.
Husband Cat breakfast table )-Oh,
for some of the rolls my mother used
to make! Wife (sweetly)-pm sorry
you haven't got them, dear. They
would be just about stale enough by
this time to go we'll with that remark,
told her the fortune teller said I
would marry soon. How did she take
that. She said she would say good
word for me to any girl might pick
out.
You never saw my hands as dirty as
that, said mother reprOachfully to
her little year old girl. cause
never see you when you was a little
girl, was the prompt answer.
What do you think of modernism in
art? Well, it can be carried too far.
Think of painting Father Time push
ing lawn mower instead of carrying
a scythe.
Hicks-So you we're at Pincheley's
last night? Does he serve good din
ner? Wicks-Well, I'll say this much
for Pincheley-he served the dinner
rather better than he did the diners.
Did anybody ever try to civilize you?
asked the stranger. Once, answered
the heather, but he was near sight
ed tender foot with an out of date
gun. He couldn't shoot worth plea
yune.
Miss Dreamier.-When you stood
on the brink of Niagara, and looked
into the seetEing, surging, unfathom-
able depths below, did you not think
you would like to jump in? Mr..
Tourier-No; I hadn't received my
hotel bill then.
Of course, said the apprentice in
politics, you always look at both sides
of question before you decide. Well,
answered Senator Sorghum, I don't
put it exactly that way. I usually
endeavor to allow myself to be seen
by both sides.
What makes you so sure she will
accept you when you propose? Has
she given you any encouragement?
Well, rather. You know she's an
only child, and she told me last even
ing that her father had always want
ed son.
1t wouldn't surprise me to see
general war among nations before
long, said the man who always pic
lures out dark side to everything.
What do you think will cause it?
Well, there's no telling-this peace
conference may break up in a row.
Football Captain, (coldly)-I hear
you stood near the head of your class
last month? Half Back (faintly)-
Yes, captain, b-but- Football
Captain-Oh, I don't say but VIII at
you are all right AS yet, but it looks
bad. 1t looks just as if you were
neglecting your training.
Young heard that you were run
down by bicycle this morning. Old
boy-So I was. Young-Were you
hurt? Oldboy-Not until one of the
bystandcrs said that it was shame
to see an old man knocked down like
that.
There was disagreement, and the
mother undertook to straighten
things out. Why can't you play nice
ly, she asked. Cause he wants to
boss things, answered the younger.
He wants me to play Pm President.
Well, why don't you. Cause it's my
turn to be Dewey.
Those America rs don't know how
to run war, aid the Filipino in dis
gust. What's the trouble? They in
sist on whipping us all at once, when
they might as well have the glory of
winning battles for the next five
years.
Are you working for a salary or
commission in your present place of
IF employment? Salary. Are you
obliged to do overwork? Yes, all
he time. You see, work regular
hours for the salary, and then I'm
obliged to do overwork to collect it.