The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-03-27
Capt. PheIan's Narrow Escape.


state of Arkansas-or, rather. the Rev.
Mr.. Bates. its worthy exponent-met with
one Overwhelming defeat. Indeed, the
bride and the minister were at the altar
and the groom was at the threshold, and
even then the institution was cheated OF
its dues says the Kansas City Star. II
was no moth and the flame" tragedy,
but rather a comedy that might be called
''Alls Well That Ends Well"
Capt. Thomas Phelan, big, open hearted,
grizzied Capt Phelan is a man with ideas
and the dearest brogue that ever emanated
from Kilkenny. When he has an idea he
acts on it. The ideas do not always pan
out, but that only adds a bit of expert
ence TO life" as the captain puts it. SO
when the Pittsburg and Gulf Railroad sur
veyed for rails between Meua, Ark, and
Hot Springs the captain heard of it and
evolved an idea.
There's timber there to burn" says the
captain, an, bedad, IN be prisint at the
stTikin ov the match"
The captain went about twenty-five
miles from Mena and bought thirty-five
acres of the best timber land in the coun-
try alongside the proposed tracks He
squatted on 100 acres more and spent the
time in counting the trees and figuring up
how much the railroad would pay him for
bridge and tie material. The captain had
dreams of wealth that troubled him be-
cause the nearest bank was twenty-five
miles away. There was a settlement sew
eral miles away, with a school house and
such modern conveniences The only
drawback to the country, so far as the
captain could see, was the fact that most
OF the women dipped snuff" He couldn't
stand that
Wan day." says the captain, when l
was windherin in the settlement a minis
tier named Bates aidges around me a lit
tie whole an says: Say, cap'n, don't We
liver get lonesome out in yer cabin thar SO
far away?
Nary bit av it, says I. with all
them snakes and bears fer compny.
Ia think you'd git married and have
some human comp'ny.' says he.
Aw' go on l says, there amt a CUR
rel in tn settlemint thatd marry the likes
av me I'm gettin' purity gray loike.'
You're mistaken says he like kit.
ten. IN bet there is plenty av gurrul.
that would jump at the chanst
have it,, says I, winkin; you fine
the gurrul and I'll give you tin dollars t.
marry US. But, moind, ye, says I. she
mustn't chaw snuff. can stand anythine
but a woman that chaws snuff
The ministher says he can fix it. an
goes away. In couple o. days he come.
TO me an says, says he:
'Cap'n I've got the very gurrul, an
she's wllin'.'
Does she chaw snuff?'' says I.
g I was lookin' out for that says he
an l made sure about her. She niver ever
saw snuff. Shes beauty
An right says I, bring her on. IL
take her. She's nome
Wen be waitin' for We at the churcl
tO-mOrrnV he
well, as I was goin' to get married mex
day. continued the captain Il stopped b,
the school-house and tipped it off to tn,
teacher. l tould him who it was am saw
| l, she's a wondher for she don't chav
snuff
Whatr says he, don't chaw snuff
Have We seen her yit?"
Nav, l says, but the ministher go
her for me and recomminded her.
Why, she's notorious" says the school
master She don't chaw snuff-she eat
It. Besides that, she chaws a plug of to
bacco livery dayr
! Faith l tell We, it nearly knocked M
of me pins TO think how close was to tn
| awful brink | niver said nothin'. but wen
! whstlin' toward the church There wa
| tn m!nisther in top boots an a whoite tie
am the unb}ushng bride. think she wa
! chawin' snuff at the tonne.
/ HuHo, says Misther Bates, here v
| are
Yis,' I says, L just dhropped over t
! say that the jig's up. There won't be n
| weddin' to-day, oDless We git new groom
Ye tried 10 pawn off a snuff -eat.n' tobacco
/ chawin gurrul on me, didn't We? But Tn
/ too smooth. looked up her character, an
found l had been decayed'
! What about me tin doIlars?" cries tn
| ministher
'Ye can git them at the tinshop.' say
l. and l whit away whistlin' The Wearip
av the Green
An what dye think the feller done &?
SAID the captain, spreading his eyes opeI
and fitting back his hat '"The mkt de,
he sued me for the tin dollars on a breacI
! av contract, an, bedad, had to give hin
foive to compromise the thing?"
Shortly following this event the Pitts
burg and Gulf Railroad made a secon,
survey of the branch to Hot Springs. an.
moved The read thirty miles away from
| Capt. Phelan's land. He returned to Kans
as City not the least discouraged. He will
leave for Little Rock, Ark, soon to worl
out new idea.
| But We can say I'm not fur gettin' mar
/ TleQ, saws he with y{r,IxI