The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-07-12
A SWELTERING AFTERNOON
WITH TIMNONYS HObOS
Lawyer Tramp Conducted His Own Case and Got
Fifty Days.

Judge Timmony was the most dis
gusted citizen in the city yesterda.
afternoon at the close of police cour
session of four and half hours. Listen
ing to Judd Trampley Smith and sew
eral thousand authorities at the bat
tered Blackstonian's elbow was a pre-
eminent cause, and this, with the su
perinducement of a jury vag trial, t
! say nothing of few dozen others cal
culated to bring comfort in hot weather
his honor was simply won to wills
pah." Diehl stood it, because he cinch
ed everybody.
'See here" the court said to Ralph
Martin, the police say you have beer
begging. You don't look good to me
either What have you got to Say?"
THE snow is deep in Cottonwood,
Ralph responded, 'or 1 should have
been at work.
"Snow-snow," unused his honor
Yes, ! have heard of it somewhere
We only have street sprinklers," with
a sigh, and an order to lower the west
blind.
Il was going up there" resumed
Ralph.
were arrested, eh?"
Certainly"
You're a nuisance, 1 believe. Thirty
days"
Encouraged by such success. Diehl
raised his voice in accusation against
John Goth for ordinary vagrancy.
'I am suffering from cancer" said
Goth. DIR. Witcher removed it, and !
cant work YETI
but the doctor says that isn't So
replied the court. He says you are
healthy enough"
'Ah, but my great trouble is curva-
ture of the ampOSio 6ervaniaux listen
erino mentlixologium."
Diehl gasped once at this-so did Sol
Kimball-and twice when Goth asked
for a Jury trial The venire was Is
half hour or so, ]. w. Sewer, Z. L. Tai
bot, D. l. Levy and Louis Kolitz were
sworn to act.
Goth looked harmless, as he blush
ingly confessed: I'm not bright enough
to examine the jury" The court came
to his rescue, and the band played on.
Goth's standby was his tale of woe
concerning cancerous growth and
spinal ailment He was an adept at
explaining how the disease affects a
child and grows up with the victim,
but was frequently sat upon in the
midst of his dissertations by the prose-
cutor. DR.. Witcher denied the trouble
story, and Detective Sheets made things
hard for the tale teller.
"Oh, judge, 1 don't know anything
about law" said Goth, looking upon
his fellow mourner, Smith, with envy
painful to behold.
1T seems not" volunteered his honor,
''who put you on to getting a jury
trial?"
Again Goth rolled his eyes in vir-
ginia Judd's direction.
You're not so big fool as you pre-
tend to be- said the court finally, ex-
asperated bevond limit.
I'm not a fool when my MIND s
right theoriZed Goth, asking that the
keeper of his house be sent for.
But this is one of your off days,
presumed"
At any rate, Policeman Davies
mounted his wheel and hustled the de-
PENDANTS landlady from 1872 West South
Temple. While he was gone, Goth adj
vised the court on wholesale and re-
tail prices of plaster paris braces.
The landlady, Mrs. Sholbert, testified
that Goth slept on the floor because the
bed was too hard for his back!
rs that your case?" asked the clerk.
II would like some expert testimony
on my back" replied Goth, meekly.
We'll, great - exclaimed the
court, quite involuntarily, do you
think we are open for the summer"
We'll" responded the defendant, 81
ought to have some one see my back. -
You can prove anything on Gods
green earth by expert testimony" con-
tinued the court. I'VE will take it for
granted that your back is in sections"
Diehl then began his argument, claim
ing to have proved the defendant an
imposter and fraud. Goth argued that
he was no 'impositor," and was sick.
A verdict of guilty was returned.
ct believe the verdict a righteous
one" said the court. You fellows do
infinite harm to honest poor people
From your own statement, I take 1t
that you are what the prosecution
impose a sentence of sixty days.
Carl Schneitter is more at home on
a hayrack than in court. He owns a
house at~S50 Ninth East, which he re-
Gently leased to A. Barnden, but the
other day the lessee's mother-in-l law
came to visit him, approaching in
horse and buggy. The steed was tied
in the back yard, and Schneitter liked it
not a little bit. He proceeded to order
it off the premises. but with devilish
neigh the brute responded. Barnden
objected to the animals removal, and
threatened Schneitter with slap if he
ventured inside This was pretty hard
on the deutcher, who didn't believe
Barnden meant it. With surprising
alacrity he cleared the fence, just as a
picket wrested itself from Branden's
grasp and ran against the old mans
arm. Result-assault and battery.
Said Schneitter: Nit out de yentle-
mans tam tempre dere would no trouble
been. We agreet to a certain ting So.
Veil, he hat rent house to lif in, but vas