New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-09-12
on. cow AND BE 4 HARQT Ell!
NOW IS THE TIME TO BUY AN UNEASY FIT
TING CORONET

Walk mp. gentlemen who Is the next bidder
for Brazilian title which abolished only
few years ago II II ever existed Stand back there.
boys. only noble gentlemen allowed to bid at
this sale The title is good new-not in the
least damaged. except that it has been abolished
II II ever existed. What am offered? Understand.
this title is unincumbered YOU need not marry
anybody. your daughte- need not marry anybody:
You are not asked to become the father-in-law
of the Marquee notice the spelling) ia notice the
spelling again Aguia Branka. and pay your money
in untold sums for the rest Of your life. YOU will
pay lump and he the Marquez da (keep no.
ucne the interesting spellrgl Aguia Brancs your
self The present incumbent would part with the
title If he did not need the money. And you will
A. once he = relative Of Pedro II deposed Emperor
NJ Brazil who helped President Grant start I'D tho
Corliss engine and open the Worlds Fair in Phils-
delphis I'M 1875 All that is thrown I'm What am
offered nov for this title. good IT was thA
dav that II ahoshei' What's that sir?
Twenty-Five dollars Have YOU your family tree
with YOU sir What sr7 Your family tree Is
only soose-herrv bush Please stand aside cir
This sale - only for gentlemen who have tall fam
V trees Well well nobody here with the money
and the tree BOTH Well. money doesn't grow on
every tree. The sale is adjourned till next Satur-
day II ANYBODY is here then with a tree standing
mp and cash down he NIL get the title and il f.
guaranteed that II will never he any more ahol-
shed than n "a now
Thoatresoers of eighteen or nineteen years
standing remember the pathetic scene in the ruined
chapel. IN the estate of Major General STANLEY
Where the Major General hewailing that he
had brought disgrace on his ancestors who were
buried in The chapel by telling lie and saying
thai he was orphan 20 save himself from the
Pirates OF Penzance when in reality he was not an
orphan and never had been The libretto is not at
hand az this moment Of writing, but the Generals
prospective son-in-law said something like this:
Cheer mp. they not your ancestors you
he DIoc
the heartbroken General replied Frederick in
this chapel there are ancestors YOU cannot deny
that I bought this chapel and contents, know
not whose ancestors they were, bur 7 do know
whose ancestors they are
Now Is tho chance for any American with
family tree equal MS bank account, and both OF
them irreproachable 10 buy an abolished title and
doubtless all the ancestors that naturally &C with
IT. Dom Eugenio Fara da Teixera who owns the
title now. came here In 1896 with $50 ococN Losses
of $4,000 are satisfactorily accounted for, and so
he wants 70 sell his title 10 raise money. But the
buyer must he n gentleman Of good family. who will
be kind 70 the title Doubtless the buyer will be-
come an artist too for Dom Eugenio Faria. etc Is
one He saws he is relative Of Dom Pedro H. who
was Emperor u 3razil ull the people OF that
country decided that they could get without
any Emperor Therefore, the buyer Of the title will
become relative of dead and deposed Emperor
as we'll But don't forget that YOU must be
gentleman John Doe cannot guy tnS ult, TO
matter how much dough he has.
But a gentleman by paving his money IN Dom
Fugenio etc can be Just much Brazilian no.
bleman as Dom Eugenio. etc is now He can at
tain the same result without paving any money 70
Dom Eugeno etc. For the silly Brazilian people.
never thinking of The future commercial value Of
titles abolished all Of them when they deposed
their Emperor They dii NOT even leave them as
courtesy tties for social use. AS the thrifter
French people I'D Possibly Dom Eugen.. etc.
thinks that he saved his title by bringing II away
with him before Il abolished But n he really
had r. AZ ALL and n valid. he could no more
sell Il than he could sell his liver complaint He
might bequeath It TO his son. Just as he could MS
liver COMPLAINT or II he were old and heiress. ne
might adopt somebody a son. for any consiiera-
ton that they might agree on. and leave his title
10 him but n titles he sold I'm the open mar
ket the "Almanach de Gotha'' will have 10 enlarge
IFS STAFF m reporters and publish a semi-weeky ed-
ton.
Really Dom Eug. etc. ought 70 meet queen La
vinia In a variety sketch popular few seasons
ago one Of the actors said. "Oh. kind sir. l have
no home" and the other reJoined. Then come with
mo. 7 have no home either" n Dom. etc, should
lust say 70 Queen I.avinia. Alas. have no title
she would probably answer. Then come and be
one Of my knights have no title either