The Dalles daily chronicle. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1890-1948, 1899-04-05
eREENHoRN's OPINION.
Concerning tho Blue Jay. the Embalmed
Beef and other Matters.
THE GREENHoRN, March 20, 80.

EDITOR CHRONICLE:
Spring commenced here a few days
ago, according to the almanac and some
other signs and tokens, but it doesn't
look much like it. Just outside our
parlor window the snow lies seven or
eight feet deep and the thermometer is
down in the twenties. If spring is really
here, old winter is still lingering on her
lap so heavily that he hss mashed her
out of sight. 1t is astonishing how life
less the woods become where the winter
lasts for seven or eight months, and the
spring is late and autumn early. A big
saucy blue jay or two, and stray
mountain magpie now and then, con-
stitute the sole living creatures, if 1
except a little blue gray snow bird, that
has the temerity or lack of sense to stay
here. The snow bird is, 1 really believe,
the same fowl that in the summer time
we call mosquitoes, only it has grown a
crop of feathers for the winter, and has,
like ''Poor Uncle Ned, hung up its
fiddle and its bow" likewise its mando-
lin. The blue jay stays, think, for no
other reason than that it thinks it may
be able to steal something. and the mag
pie remains go that he will not miss the
chance to rob the blue jay if the latter
steals anything. They are for all the
world like miner and mine "pro-
moter." 1 have watched tho blue jay
hutter down when our table cloth was
shaken, or when the cook would throw
out scraps, and just as sure as the top
knotted idiot found something to make
meal of, he would set up squall that
could be heard a quarter of a mile, and
instead of enjoying his find he would
hop around and squawk: Meat! Meati
and it wouldn't be half jiffy before
from the big white fir tree near the
house you would hear the magpie laugh
Hal Hal and in the other half of the
same jiffy he would be in possession of
the piunder and the blue jay would be
kicking himself with his hind feet.
And then at the next chance the blamed
fool would do it oyer again. have tried
to find some excuse for the jay birds
actions--to discover some reason why
he made such perennial and continuous
fool of himself, and l have been unable
to satisfy myself beyond a reasonable
doubt. At present I incline to the
opinion that 1t is because his mother
cuts his hair "pompadour," and so he
can't help himself. This conclusion is
fortified by the fact that the magpie
wears his hair "close- cropped" He
doesn't look so pretty that way, but he
eats the meat while the jay with the
muIe.roach cut dances two.etep on the
snow to appease his hunger and warm
his toes.
This is to be great year for the
Greenhorn Il mean the Campo Many
mining properties will change hands
and much development work will be
done. That is, of course, supposing
that the snow will go off before next
winter sets in. At present it does not
look as though this would happen. In
spite of the snow. however, We have
been able to keep some political matters
III sight, among them the commission
appointed to investigate General Miles,
and, incidentally, the beef furnished the
soldiers in Cuba. The commission have
found there was something IN the beef
question. also in the beef, and Secretary
Alger has gone down to Cuba. It is to
be hoped that he will get nothing but
some of that same beef mixture to eat;
while on his visit. It is also to be
hoped that the commission will return
to Washington before the people put
into visible form the wish that 1t be
treated to the mbalming process. It
certainly needs it,, Tor the way it has
conducted its proceedings smells as rank
as the ranking officer who plesides over
it. About the biggest piece of what
Josh Billings called phoolishness'
was the notifying the beef Gamers and
packers that the commission wonld
investigate their plants on a certain day.
This showed wisdom equal to detective
who notified suspected parties that on
a certain day he would search their
houses for stolen geo is. What the
country wants noS is for the commits
sion TO report, then for the judiciary tc
move, and put every greedy, murderous
scoundreI who furnished the vile stuff
to the government where they belong
and that is where the spring comes
earlier and the Climate is warmer than
this.
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