Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-08-06


"Now Is the time TO be coy" quoth /
to myself; Il feel as pulfed-up as a
bicycle tire or a turkey gobbler, but 1t
will never do to let on. Remember, sir,
you are Indifferent TO public appreciation.
Carry a stiff upper lip and act Ike you
don't think any more OF sinking ships
than OF exterminating oysters on the
half she'll"
The reporters, conducted by some Of
my subordinate officers, approached my
cabin door, and after many preliminary
raps, and many bows and scrapings 1
found myself face to face with the visi-
tors.
who are these persons"" I asked one
Of the subordinates. emphasizing the
word persons" I'VE are journalists,
said a dapper young man, come to give
YOU the greetings of the World and the
Herald and the Journal and the Sun and
the Times and the Press and the Boston
Herald and the Chicago Record
Il have nothing to say" coyly replied
Admiral Dewey. II decline to be inter
viewed. This intrusion is most distas, e.
ful TO me-" and with that / gathered up
my doll rags and retreated into the cabin
with an aggrieved look only equa He'd
by my delight in my own Importance.
They ali stood awe-struck. except the
special artist who began drawing a pic
ture of the way l should have looked
on once more seeing my native land.
| tell you the sensations produced by
my Importance We're unspeakably de-
licious; l felt like a man on the outside
Of an ocean OF champagne, with red
pepper and hOrseradish in his bones and
a pocket so full OF lO-cent pieces that
he hadn't even taken the trouble TO
count them.
When these obtrusive persons-these
human mosquitoes known as reporters
had discreetly repaired 10 another end
of my flagship, l put a little dab OF face
powder on my checks with a chamOis-
skin pun, smoothed my moustache with
a patent comb / carried In my vest
pocket, chalked up my white shoes,
brushed my hair, manicured my nails,
and pulling down my vest and Wiplng OF
my chin, sauntered O6t on deck as If
nobody had been looking at me. In fact.
| had the air Of man perfectly indiner-
ent TO fame-of man who didn't so
much as expect to ever have his name
carved on a tombstone.
And oh. the way the people did whoop
and hurrah and raise Cain, ana the way
the brass bands did bow themselves and
the tooters did foot and the whistles ala
whistle-why, Great Scott I've never seen
any three babies who could equal the Iuss
that WAS made. 80
1 went up on the bridge Utterly obi
yious of the fact apparently utterly oo-
livious) that l was the cause OF me
rumpus, l took tight line out Oh NY
pocket and threw it overheard alter cat
fish. This act Of virgin simplicity "oulu
get me columns in the newspapers.
no NJ Nl-l
bows. and knew they would soon Try 20
interview the catfish. the line, and every
thing about me. 4 love OF nshlng aI"ays
indicates simplicity Of character
Then the Municipal Committee and the
public functionarIes and the government
officials came aboard and greeted mo
with little speeches which they had care
fully rehearsed before their wives ana
children. With a cain dignity snihhS-
ly accepted these graceful offerings
though once, IN quizzical way, L said'
Really, gentle men. my boys behlnd .no
guns VIII have their heads turned by this
fattering reception You tender them. Anu
yet sir, my bosom glows with pride, as
do yours, when / recall their yalorods
work"
| said this loudly and distinctly. so that
the newspaper boys could catch 1t ami
quote me correctly.
Yes" SAID the committee, the boys
behind the guns have done valorous work.
but IL was the master hand of a Dewey
that guided them"
At this / was again coy and emnar-
raised. In my heart OF hearts | was ois-
gusted that this committee conceded thal
wasn't The whole show; that the boys III
the business end Of the fireworks had IN
any way helped TO wipe out the Spanish
feet.
But enough no one can say that 40
rniral Dewey was not the perfect man Oh
that occasion; that he wasn't dignity and
themselves; that he wasn't
thing 10 be proud Of
Admiral" said the committee, bowling
and scraping and showing over each other