davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-28
= A Conversational Subterfuse.

"No, SIR" said the man with a heavy
mustache and slouch hat. Il don't
ever associate with man who
swears; that Is If l can help It."
"But thought you were an old
ranchman," said the young man to
whom he was talking.
80 I am. But amt one Of the
kind you read about. I'm too busy
raisin' cattle to spend my time think
in up curious and amusin' things to
say"
But I thought there was always q
great deal Of profanity on a ranch"
mot necessarily. You'll only find 1t
when some special people is talkln'.
An, as I said. l never hang around
where It's goin' on"
well, there is no doubt about the
propriety Of discouraging 1t. Pro-
family Is unluestionably very demoral.
Eing."
Yes. An the meanness Of 1t Is
what hurts my feelln's. 1t doesn't
give the other feller fair shake In
the conversation. The one that uses
1t always wants to do all the talkin'.
An there's no use In tryin' to buck
against him. If he happens to run
out Of ideas he doesn't give yon
chance. He goes ahead and swears n
few while he thinks up some more and
then starts in where he left Off with
out lettin' you say word"
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-28
Church Directory.

Reformed Church-Isev. G. A Whitmore
pas or. Services bi.weekly alternating
morning and evening Services ednes.
day. z D. m, Sunday School 2p. m.
Guild each Lords Day 83Op. m, ether SER
vices announced from the pulpit.
Lutheran Church Rev. W. 8. T. Metzger,
castor. Services, Sunday 10 A. NJ and 500 P.
N. Sunday School, 2. P u Prayer Meet
ng, Wednesday, Z p. m.
United Brethren Church-Rev. William
Daugherty Pastor. Regular Services by
appointment from the pulpit.
Glass Meeting every two weeks at lO a. IN.
Prayer Meeting every Thursday evening.
Sunday School 2 PM.
Mite Society Semimonthly. "Wednesday
evening at o'clock. W. Mis-. Meeting
Monthly at Parsonage.
Morayian Church Rev. NJ. F. Oerter. Pas
tor. Sunday School every Sunday, . a. m.
Preaching services will be held every other
Sunday as heretofore. alternating morning
and evening at 10 and $3.50 respectively
Methodist Episcopal Church - Rev.
w. L. Crem Pastor. Services every alter
nate Sunday at 10 A. NJ. and 700 P. M.
Sunday School at A. M. Prayer Meeting
every Wednesday evening at 7.9G ?. M. Ep.
worth League at $50 everv Sunday.
81. Stephens Church, Protestant Episcoal
-Rev. Ernest McGill, Rector. Services
every Sunday at 400, p. M, at Walkers
Vile at 1880 a. m. at Thurmont,
Service SATURDAYS at 400 p. IN.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-28
MOST REMARKABLE LAKE.
A Strange Black Fluid That Bears No Ro;
semblance to Water.

A Strange Black Fluid That Bears NO 10;
semblance to Water.
The most remarkable body of water
in the world lies In the vicinity of the
Colorado river, In Southern California.
In this region Of ugly volcanoes, DESC
late wastes and Shiny swamps, the
strangest phenomenon OF all Is what
the naturalists call a lake of ink" No
other description fits so well.
The strange, black fluid that forms
the lake bears no resemblance to wa
ter.
The pool Of ink is situated about halt
a mile from volcano. 1t is about an
acre in area. The surface is coated
with gray ashes from the volcanoes to
the thickness of about six inches, thus
concealing it's real nature.
Experiment has proved that the
black fluid of the lake is not poisonous.
1t acts as dye, ard cotton goods soak
ed in it keep their color for months.
even when exposed to the sun. They
also acquire a stiffness similar to that
produced by weak starch. The fluid has
been analyzed, but its component parts
have not been made known. AS to the
source OF the supply of the lake, moth
ing definite has been ascertained. 1t
Is undoubtedly OF volcanic origin. but
nothing more definite is known.
This is bad land that has never
been traversed Human beings have
tried 1t, but they never return to tell
OF their experience Of their discoveries.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-28
No 25
GLADSTONE'S READY WIT.
A Few Instances In Which He Downed
tho Opposition.

bho OpposIlioh.
Mr.. Gladstone was once the victim
of a reporters curious error, either in
reporting or telegraphing, which was
that where in a celebrated speech he
declared, 1--WE have burned our boats
and destroyed our bridges" he must
have been Mortified to read, 1--WE have
burned our boots and destroyed our
breeches." The noted phrase Time is
on our side" was rendered in one re-
port as Tim is on our side"
eve are very proud of our trees"
said Mr.. Gladstone once to party Of
excursionists from Lancashire, "and
are therefore getting anxious, as the
beech has already shown symptoms of
decay. We set great store by our
trees" "Why, then" roared Ian
cashire lad, do you cut 'em down as
you do?" 1--WE cut down that we may
improve. We remove rottenness that
we may restore health by letting in air
and light. AS a good Liberal, you
ought to understand that" Lancashire
set up a roar of delight, and the dis
cOmforted interrogation came in for
many a feer from his companions.
Mr.. Gladstone dearly loved a joke,
even at his own expense, and he pos
sessed considerable mimetic powers.
He was once guilty of an amusing bull
in 4 debate on the question of disestab-
lishmont. Dilating on the hold held
on the affections of the people by the
Church of England, he said: when
an Englishman wants to get married,
to whom does he go? TO the parish
priest When he wants his child bap-
tiZed. to whom does he go? To the
parish priest When he wants to get
buried, to whom does he go?" The
House answered with a roar of laugh
ter, in which Mr.. Gladstone himself
Joined, adding. CAS- | was contrasting
the English Church with the Irish, a
bull is perhaps eXcusable. "
On one occasion two gentlemen, in
vted as guests at table where Mr..
Gladstone was expected, made a wager
that they would start a conversation
on a subject about which even Mr..
Gladstone would know nothing. To
accomplish this end they read up an
ancient magazine article on some unfa-
miliar subject connected with Chinese
manufactures. When the favorable
opportunity came the topic was started,
and the two conspirators watched with
amusement the growing interest in the
subject which Mr.. GIadstoueS face be-
trayed. Finally he Joined in the con-
versation, and their amusement was
turned into gnashng of teeth-to speak
fguratively--wh Mr.. Gladstone said,
"Ah, gentlemen, l perceive you have
been reading an article | wrote in the
- Magazine some thirty or forty
years ago"
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-28
Gave Her Husband for Cuba.

A touching little story is toiu Of Mrs
Waldeck, wife of Captain William A.
H. Waldeck, Of the Seventh United
States Volunteer Regiment Of I'M
munes. Captain Waldeck was for
eighteen years with Hollands army In
the East Indies. Eight years ago he
was given leave Of absence by his gov
ernment, and he spent some OF his play
time in trip through America. AT
Detroit he met Miss Amelia Theresa
Cousins, who subsequently became his
wife. Before accepting him Miss Cous-
lns made it a condition of their mar
riage that he should leave the army.
He complied with the condition, and
became an American. When the war
with Spain broke out the desire to
return to his old profession of war
and to serve his adopted country be-
came very strong, and his wife did
not oppose his wishes.
Mrs. Waldeck accompanied her hus-
band to Washington to procure his
commission. On meeting Colonel E.
A. Goodwin, of the Seventh Volunteers
there. she held his hand in both of
hers, and, looking earnestly at the
colonel, said: Colonel Goodwin, was
the Gauss of my husband leaving the
regiment in which he served eighteen
years, and / feel that it is my duty,
now that my country is at war with
spain, to give him back his promise
and let him follow his old profession
as a. soldier. only hope that I shall
see him in life again.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-28
Measuring an Enrthuuake.

Some interesting computations and
investigations have been made on the
earthquake which disturbed Calcutta
year ago. This earthquake was regis
tered at nineteen observatories in Eu-
rope (the most distant OF which was
Edinburg, 1870 kilometres from the
epicenter. The seismographs and mag
netographs made records of the dstur-
bance, and the average OF the results
obtained indicates that the mean sur
face velocity Of the first vibrations
was either nine or eleven kilometres
per second, according to the time ta-
ken for Calcutta. These first vibra-
tions, which lasted for twenty three
minutes, were followed by large, long
periodic oscillations whose velocity
was either 261 or 2.76 kilometres per
second. Crossing Italy the complete
wave must have been 54 kilometres in
length, and the height OF Its crest
about halt a metre.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-28
A GREAT INDUSTRY.
EMPLOYS OVER ONE MILLION PER-
SONS IN THE UNITED STATES.

Tho Various Uses to Which Electricity Is
Acknowledgment and Telephone Give
Work to Hundreds of fThousands-Froma .
Railroad Car to Fan Now Run by 1t.
More than 100000 persons in the
United States, 1t is now computed, get
their livelihood through employments
dependent upon or connected with the
use of electricity, and compared with
the United States the number Of per-
sons so employed in other countries Is
practically insignificant. The rapid
increase OF the electric business Of this
country is shown by the fact that at
the time OF taking the last national
census, that $780, no serious effort was
made to give figures showing the ex-
tent OF the use of electricity.
There are in the United States near.
ly a million miles Of telegraph wire.
and there are $4,000 telegraph Offices,
exclusive of those maintained by the
railroad companies for the conduct and
regulation of their trains. Taking into
account telegraph operators, telegraph
company employees, and those in the
telegraph service OF the railroads, there
are 100000 persons connected with the
transmission Of telegraphic messages
In the United States. There are now
100000 miles Of telephone wire IN the
United States, more than 1000 eX-
changes, and an equal number OF tele-
phone branch offices, exclusive, Of
course, OF pay stations. The number
of employees of the telephone COM
panies Of the United States is 25,O00.
exclusive OF those engaged in construc-
tion and repair work for the conpan-
les.
The gradual substitution Of the cleo
trio current for horse power on surface
railroads has added largely to the num-
Der Of employees Of electric railroads.
There are now in the United States
$4,000 miles OF electric or trolley roads,
and these roads give employment, 1t is
computed, to 100, 900 persons as motor
men, conductors, clerks, inspectors.
and electricians. Then there Is the
item OF electric lighting which is one
OF lne mOSt lupOIlhul UAduCHCo VI LILO
development OF electric service, but
likewise one the figures Of which are
most fragmentary. Nearly every i'm
portant city OF the United States, and
many unimportant cities. too, are light
ed by electricity, as we'll as private
houses, stores, public buildings, tunnels,
bridges, caves, mines and parks, ant
the use OF the electric current in man
ufacturing Is constantly on the in
crease. Machines are run by electrici-
ty, many manufacturing operations are
performed by it, elevators are run by
electricity, fans for cooking purposes
are run by electricity and as these uses
are extended the number OF persons
employed is steadily being increased.
There are still to be added to the
figures OF another branch Of the busi-
ness, one OF the most important, the
manufacture OF electric appliances,
which, it is computed. gives employ
ment to more than 100000 persons.
Taking all the figures together, 1t Is
probably not far from the truth to say
that there are l000,000 persons in tho
United States dependent upon electric
ity for livelihood.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-28

The eminent exhorter came down
from the pulpit at the close Of the
service. Many people pressed for
ward TO shake him by the hand He
accepted their congratulations with
smiling face, but his eyes were on a
certain auditor who fingered In the
aisle. The great preacher pressed
through the throng about him and ex.
tended his hand to the waiting man.
II want to thank you." be said In
his deep musical tones "for the close
attention you gave my remarks. Your
upturned face was Inspiration to me.
l am sure you never changed your
earnest attitude during my sermon"
NO." said the man, X have stiff
neck"
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-28
A PECULIAR ISLAND.
MONEY HAS NO VALUE IN LONELY
TRISTAN c'ACUNHA.

Its Queer Old Governor and the Rerssn Of
His Boing There-A Happy and Contented
People Who Know Nothing of the Out
side World.
Did you ever hear of place where
money was useless? Well, there is such
O. place. 1t is the island OF Tristan
d'Acunha, in the South Atlantic, about
midway between the Cape Of Good
Hope and the South American coast.
But you mustn't jump to the conclusion
that money has no value there because
the island is uninhabited. 1t has a
population of sixtyfour, and is the
tiniest of Great Britain's many small
colonies.
Once a year the British government
sends off ship to the island. Just
why this should be done is not quite
clear A yearly mail service is quite
unnecessary, for although the sixty
four inhabitants are British subjects
they never receive any mail. They
lead a solitary existence, knowing
nothing of the great world beyond their
shores and caring less.
Some time ago, for some reason OF
other, the King of Italy sent donation
of two hundred dollars for distribution
among the inhabitants. A gentleman
named Cane, who had visited the is
lanG, commenting on this fact, wrote a
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-28
Refuse of Photog raph Studios.


"Reflners OF nitrate OF silver for the
Use OF photographers" said a man en-
gagged in this line OF business in New
York to reporter recently, have
agents travelling constantly all over
the United States collecting the waste
clippings of sensitized paper that ac-
cumulate in every Photographic gal
lery. They buy all they can find and pay
for 1t in new nitrate, allowing the pho
tographers a good round price for their
waste
"The waste is shipped to the refners,
where the nitrate in the paper is sepa-
rated from it by chemical processes
and prepared for market again. This
re-reflned nitrate is as good as 1t was
originally, and is sold for just as much.
The refiners. of course, make a big
profit out of the waste, and the photo
grapher Is able to get a good supply
of material for the old scraps that
would otherwise be Of no use to him.
when one thinks Of the great num-
Der of photograph galleries and studios
in the country, and the fact that the
waste paper of them all Is closely
gathered by the reflners at price that
will average 81 a pound, he may get
some idea of the proportion of a busi-
ness that Is utterly unknown outside
OF the persons directly interested In
the trade. Not only the scraps OF sill
yer sensitized papers, but those OF the
paper treated with solution OF gold,
are eagerly sought by the refners, and
the photographer 10 always very will
ing to exchange his accumulation Of,
to him, worthless waste for new
stock Of valuable nitrate" |
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-28
NoNCl PhilanthrOphY.

Toronto is the scene of novel form
Of philanthropy. 1t is the care OF the
teeth of children whose parents are too
poor to employ a dentist. A local phy-
sician conceived the idea and sought
the ala of the churches. He was ready
to bear the financial burden alone, but
he desired the church people to assist
him in finding objects for his charity.
His notion was ridjculed, but he per-
sisted in it without assistance, expend-
ed much money in fitting up his dis
pensary and in employing assistants,
and last year he cared for the teeth
of nearly two thousand children. He
seeks no aid froIl any quarter, but
finds it necessary occasionally to ap-
peal to the citizens to furnish him with
the names Of people who cannot afford
to spend money on their childrens
teeth
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-28
Patents

Caoeats and Re- Issuss secured; TRADE Marks
and Copyrights registered; Opinions given as
to validity and Infringement Of patents; As-
signments, Contracts, etc, prepared and recor-
ded, and all business in the Patent Office in
the UNITED STATES and all FOREIGN
COUNTRIES promptly and carefully pros.
ecuted. Upon receipt of model or skstch or
photograph Of invention with description, l
will advise as to patentability free Of charge
Main offices directly across from the q. s
Patent Office and attention is specially called
TO my perfect and long established facilities
for the most vigorous and successful prose
cution Of applications for patent and for
tending to all business entrusted to my care
in the shortest possible time. Rejected cases
a specially. y.-F'EES MODERATE and exclu.
sive attention given to patent business. Book
Of information and advice, and special refer
ences, sent without charge upon request.
J.. r. LITTELL,
attorney &nd Counselor in Pateat Causes,
Washington, D. c.,
Opposite q. 8. Patent Otnee
F1sssion TIE Pepsr.l
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-28
THURMONT Frederick County, Maryland Thursday September 28 1893.
THE WOMEN'S CONVENTION.
One Elderly Gentleman Thought He Knew
Their Reasons for Holding 1t.

One Elderly Gentleman Thought He Knew
Their Reasons for Holding 1t.
The women Of the strong minds
were about to hold a convention, and
as a preliminary thereto committee
was moving around among the down.
town business men collecting funds
to assist in the ceremonies. The COM
mittee had been to lot Of places and
had met with very fair success, not
withstanding there wasn't good
looking woman in the entire combin-
alton, which shows how much men
think Of woman for herself alone than
for her beauty, which Is SO evanish-
ing.
However, at one place 1t was differ
ent, and the women were treated In
a manner to make them feel as II they
would almost rather not be men at all
than to be the kind Of men this par
ticular man was.
1t happened in the Office Of an ell
derly gentleman, who has nc patience
whatever with the man-lady kind Of
woman, and he was sitting in his
private office when the delegation ar
rived In the outer room. one of the
members very briefly stated the OBJ
ject of their visit to the clerk Mt the
desk.
"And may inquire" said the clerk
politely, for he was kindly man
and wouldn't do anything in the
world to hurt anybody's feelings,
"why are you going to hold q conven-
tion?"
Just as like as not the man had
wife at home and he wanted to tell
her about it, but before the commit
tee had an opportunity to reply the
elderly gentleman's rasping voice was
heard rising high over the partition
separating the two offices.
"Ill tell you why" came the words,
'its because they haven't got any
babies to hold. Tell 'em so, with my
compliments, and say tnat we give
nothing to the cause of perverted pet
ticoatism."
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-28
Proyerbed Into Shortness.


Less speed travels further than much
brag.
II at first you don't succeed fall, fall
again.
A bicycle in use is worth two In the
repair shop.
Keep your own counsel and your own
wheel.
Fine feathers never showed wheel
one foot forward.
Look before you leap; the road may
be slippery.
Answer fools and scorchers accord.
ing to their folly.
A repair in time is like to save the
price Of new tire.
It's a wise child that knows the make
of its own bicycle.
Borrowing Is the poorest method OF
making both ends meet.
A wrench left at home will not tight
en- nut on the road.
He that fights and rides away will
live to ride another day.
A miss Is as good as a mile on the
front seat Of tandem.
A father is a treasure, a brother a
comfort, but bicycle Is both.
A little saddle, like little knowl-
edge, is often dangerous thing.
A puncture In the tire Is worth two
in the oil can-to the repairer.
How everyone dislikes the rider who
L. u rnI o+ jpu
One good side slip Is more satisfy
Ing to the slipper than dozen ordin-
ary falls.
It Is really astonishing how much
patience some clumsy riders have with
themselves.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-28

The Cigarette in Europe.

The cigarette was first introduced
into this country at the close of the
Crimean War by British officers, who
had found themselves under Compul-
sion to adopt Turkish fashions of con-
sunling tobacco, seeing that there was
not decent cigar to be obtained for
love or money throughout the length
and breadth OF the Ottoman Empire.
Pipe smoking was strongly discouraged
at regimental mesSes forty odd years
ago; indeed, it is scarcely tolerated at
the present day in some of the tone
giving military and noble" clubs in
Germany
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-28

Commodore Philip has sent unique
souvenir to the Governor of Texas as
a testimony Of the LOYALTY and effici-
ency Of the battleship which was chris
tened after that State. He had taken
one of the armor plates which was
pierced by a six-inch projectile from
the guns of the Vizcaya and has
framed 1t in handsome style, to be
hung as memento in the State House
at Austin.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-28
ItaIy'S Poor.

Marvellous economy is practised by
the poor of Italy in looking after the
wants of the inner man. Coffee grounds
from the wealthy mans kitchen are
dried and resold to the poor. In sim
liar way oil is twice, and sometimes
three times used, the drippings after
each successive frying being gathered
from the pan and sold to the poor.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-28
Live without Exercise.

Most of the Chinese mandarins pass
the whole Of their lives without tax
ing single yard Of exercise. The late
Nanking viceroy Gather of the Mar
ouis Tseng) was considered remark
able character because he always
walked 1000 steps day in his pri-
vate garden. Under no circumstances
whatever is a mandarin ever seen on
foot in his own jurisdiction,
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-28
To Cook by the Snn.

An inventor in India has construct.
ed an apparatus for cooking by the
heat of the sun. 1t consists of box
made of wood and lined with rejecting
mirrors, at the bottom Of the box be-
ing a small copper boiler, covered with
glass to retain the heat Of the raya
concentrated by the mirrors upon tha
boiler.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-28
Very Think Skins.

Kongo negroes are remarkable for
their thick skins. A case is mention
ed of a black slashed with a razor in
scuMe. The hospital surgeon broke
two needles in trying to put in the
stitches and at last was driven to use
brad awl.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-28

letter to the London Graphic, which
throws an additional light upon these
strange islanders. He said in part
1T may not be generally known, but
1t is none the less fact, that money
is OF no value to these people. When
was there, in 1884. offered money in
exchange for their curiosties, but 1t
was politely but firmly declined. They
had no use for it. they said. On the
other hand, articles of clothing such as
wooilcn undervests and socks, suited to
the rigor of the climate, were received
with the utmost appreciation
The island Of Tristan d'Acunha,
which has been described as the lonli-
est British possession on the face OF
the globe, we'll bears out its reputation,
1t is a mountainous place, the highest
peak rising to an altitude of 8.236 feet
above the sea level The head man"
Of the island, known as the Governor,
is picturesque old fellow named Peter
William Green. He was shipwrecked
over sixty years ago, and when his
shipmates were finally taken off, the
kindness which he mad experienced at
the hands Of the islanders led him to
remain behind and cast his lot with
them.
I've was afterward married to one OF
the women Of the island. So great be-
came his popularity that upon the death
Of the then Governor, the islanders un-
animously elected Peter to fill his place.
and this Office he has occupied ever
since He is known to be over eighty
years old, but is hale and vigorous
His administration of primitive justice
has won him the respect and esteem Of
his followers.
Catoctin clarion., 1899-09-28
II Huus That Way.

"The man who owns the farm next
to mine is the luckiest fellow | ever
saw"
What are you talking about?
There's no such thing as luck"
There isn't, hey? Then will you
kindly tell me how 1t happened that he
bored for water and struck oil, while !
oored for oil and struck water?"