davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25
HAT WAS PASSED.
TO nuy Sailors a chri.tma. Din-
ner Movement squeIched
by Dewey.

An American dentist in Manila, in a
happy OF unhappy moment, conceived
Aeidea of providing by public subscnp-
Won grand Christmas dinner for the
United States soldiers garrisoning the
aty, in the same manner as paupers
1t home are RECALLED with all the good
things Of this life on that day, says the
st. Louis Post-Dispatch.
The idea took beyond all expecta-
tions, for when the hat went round the
money flowed in so freely that in q
couple Of days over So, 600 was collected.
The soul Of the movement waxed en-
lhnsiastic. And so did the whole Amer
ean community.
Consul Wildman, in q thoughtless mo-
ment, also allowed himself to be caught
BY the fever. Committees and subcom-
nittees were then appointed, and prep
arations began to be made in right
earnest and on most elaborate scale
Tor the grand spread.
But the American would-be patriots
sounted without their host, who, In the
person of Admiral Dewey, issued gem
sral order quashing the whole thing
and ordering the refunding of the
money to the subscribers. Admiral
Dewey very sensibly says that the ac-
:eptance of public subscription din
uer is incompatible with the dignity of
IN American sailor, and that the United
States government may we'll be trusted
to look after his comfort. The Ameri-
san dentist is sad. Consul Nildman is
sadder, and the saddest Of all were the
troopers and bluejackets.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25
BABIES OF THE WORLD.
statistician Make. Un,aue calcnl..
ttoA of the Boys and Girls
Dora Every Year.

1t has been computed that about
Bs,OooyOoo babies are born into the
world each year, says Woman's Life.
The rate of production is, therefore,
about 20 per minute, or more than one
for every beat Of the clock.
With the one-a-second calculation
every reader is familiar, but 1t is not
everyone who stops to calculate what
this means when it comes to wears
supply. 1t will, therefore, probably
startle good many persons to find, on
the authority Of n well-known statisti-
clan, that could the infants of year
be ranged in line in cradles, the cra-
dies wouldextend around the world.
The same writer looks at the matter
in a more picturesque light. He i'm
agines the babies being carried past a
given point in their mothers arms, one
by one, and the procession being kept
up night and day until the last hour
in the twelfth month had passed by.
A sufficiently liberal rate is allowed.
but even in going past at the rate of
20 minute, 1900 an hour during the
entire year, the reviewer at his post
would have seen only the sixth part of
the infantile host.
In other words, the babe that had to
be carried when the tramp began
would be able to walk when but mere
fraction of its comrades had reached
the revieweri,gpost, and when the years
supply of babies was drawing to q
alose there would be rear guard, not
OF infants, but Of romping six-year-
old boys and girls.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25
HATE THE GERMANS.
Expulsion Of Danes from North
schleswig Arouses Bitter Feel.
ing In Scandinavia.

Prof. George Brandes some time ago
agreed to visit Berlin and deliver an
address before the Press association Of
that city, but later on declined to keep
his engagement on account Of the ex-
pulsion OF Danes from North SchleswiR.
In an explanatory letter he says that
the Germans do not seem to realize the
bitter feeling which the expulsious
have excited through Scandinavia gem
orally. He then writes: ut 10 precise
ly because our government preserves
silence that the wounds caused to the
national feeling by these measures
burn the deeper into the hearts Of the
people. The theory that an agitation IL
being conducted from Copenhagen TO
restore, by force II necessary. North
Schleswig to Denmark is too absurd to
require serious notice. In all Denmark
not q single man thinks Of such a thing.
But to-day one cannot denationa1ize a
people by force" The Danish inhabit-
ante Of schleswig, he goes on to say, do
not intend to give up their mother
tongue even should their children re-
ceive no instructions in 1t, nor do they
intend to renounce their right of free
ly conversing in Danish with their
brothers and sisters across the frontier.
Germans must also learn to understand
that just as they invoke the sympathy
OF Europe In view Of the hard measures
enforced against the German tongue 4.
bohemia and elsewhere, 80 too the
Danes, under similar conditions, plead
for the right of preserving the Danish
language, even though those who speak
It may be living in = strange land.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25
HISTORIC WINE CELLAR.
Important Diseoveries Made sy rw.
German Explorers IN
Asia Minor,

The explorer, DR.. Belck, who was at.
tackled In September last while prose.
cutting his studies in Asia Minor, has
made some interesting discoveries near
Lake Wan. He and Dr. lehman are
searching for Chaldean inscriptions,
and the cost of their expedition IL be.
ing betrayed from fund to which the
principal contributors arc tho kaiser
and the Virchow institute, says a Ber-
lin Dispatch in London Mail.
According to letters dated Tiflis, No
vember 20, the two explorers, In ex.
cavating among the ruins of o palace
of the old Chaldean king Argastes H.
came across this monarch's wine eel.
lar. 1t was filled with colossal esrth.
enware vessels, few Of which have
been secured for the Berlin museum.
OF far greater Importance. however,
is their discovery Of inscriptions on
tho drains VI the palace; whioh furndsh
complete chronology to the time Of
the Assyrian king Tizlat phalasax
(about the eighth century before
Christi. The Armenian patriarohs have
been very gracious to the two German
explorers, and have even allowed them
the unwonted privilege Of taking away
an extremely interesting inscription
from the wall OF an old monastery.
DIR. Belck and his colleague intend
now to visit the upper Tigris, Mossul
and Nineveh, and to continue their In.
vestigntions In what Is probably the
home OF the earliest civilization, the
district between Mount Ararat and. the
upper reaches of the Tigris and Eu-
phrates
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25
GUARDING THE TRANSPORTS.
Uncle SANS Ships of War In the Won
derful Sapphire Seas of the
West Indies.

In the afternoon the great fleet
steamed southwest until Tampa light
sank in the distance, says Gov. Roose-
velt, in Scribner's.
For the next six days we sailed
steadily southwark and westward
through the wonderful sapphire seas of
the West Indies. The thirty-otld trans.
ports moved in long, parallel lines,
while ahead and behind and on their
fanks the gray hulls of the warships
surged through the blue waters. We
had every variety of craft to guard us,
from the mighty battleship and swift
cruiser to the converted yachts and the
frail. venomous looking torpedo boats.
The warships watched with ceaseless
vigilance by day and by night. When
Z sail of any kind appeared, instantly
one OF our guardians steamed toward
1t. Ordinarily, the torpedo boats were
towed. Once a strange ship steamed
up too close, and instantly the nearest
torpedo boat was slipped like grey
hound from the leash, and sped across
the water toward it; but the stranger
proved harmless, and the swift, deA-
cate, death-fraught craft returned
again
It was very pleasant, sailing south
ward through che tropic seas toward
the unknown. We knew not whittier
we were bound, nor what we were to
do; but we believed that the nearing
future held for us many chances OF
death and hardship, of honor and re-
nown. IT we failed. we would share the
fate OF all who fail; but we We're sure.
that we would win, that we should
pcore the first great triumph in
mighty world movement.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25
A FEAT IN GLASS BLOWING.
A. Unpretent.ou. Russian p....,,
Shows Experts . Trick IN Their
Own TRADE.

Emperor Nicholas wished to illumi.
nate tho Alexander column In q grand
style. The style Of the round lamps to
bo used for the purpose was indicated,
and the glassea ordered at the manufao-
tory. where the workmen exerted them
selves In vain, and almost blew the
breath out of their bodies In the en-
deavor to obtain the desired size.
The commission must be executed
that was self-evident; but how?
A great premium was offered to tho
one who could solve the problem. Again
the human bellows toiled and puffed.
Their object seemed unattainable:
when ut last q long-bearded Russian
stepped forward and declared that he
could do 1.-The had strong lungs, he
would only rinse his mouth frst With
a little water to refresh them.
He applied his mouth to the pipe,
and puffed to such purpose that the
vitreous ball swelled and puffed nearly
to the required dimensions, up to them,
beyond them.
Hold! Hold!" cried the lockers on.
You are doing too much; and how did
you do 1t ALP"
''rhe matter is simple enough" an
swered tho long beard, but first. where
is my premium?"
And when he had clutched the prom
ised bounty, he explained.
He had retained some Of the water IN
his mouth. which had passed thence
into the glowing ball, and then becom-
ing steam had rendered him this good
service.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25
ON A JOCKEYS BADGE.
He was si1 Feet tail ..a we,rh~n
200 Pounds, Bst Has Nerve
Was Coed.

In ono Of the newspaper composing
kooms In this city there Is a typesetting
machine operator who is great lover
Of horse racing. A good share Of his
wages goes to the boolcmakers at the
local tracks during tho racing season.
although for some reason ho never ac-
quired the poolroom habit, and has al
?Fsys refused to put down bet unless
he was there to see how the dogs ran. !"
1e 10 fully six feet tall, and weighs
shout 200 pounds His size suggested
. Joke to one of his friends during the
Acing season last summer. saws the
New York Sun.
Going to sheepshead Bay to-day p
the friend asked.
I'D like to. but II go I won't have
much left to bet with"
'Ican giveyou q Jockeys badge" /" said
the friend.
"Gimme it, replied the printer, eaa-
srly, never realizing the ridiculous con
trast between his size and that of evan
the heavy weight Jockeys. Armed with
tho jockeys badge, he presented him
self at the racetrack gate and showed
bis badge. The ticket taker looked AZ,
him in establishments
For heavon's sake" he finally blurt-
out, "wot do you ride-the ele-
fhantT
There's ono entered in the flfth
Nce. was the reply, and his nerve so
paralyzed the gatekeeper that he was
admitted.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25

Nonparetl, %: Although there has
already been some track laid at this
end of the new Illinois Central line
the officials of this railroad and plan
ming on somewhat elaborate cere-
mony for the driving of what will be
known as the first or golden spike of
the new line. No definite announce
ment of the program for this occasion
has yet been made but it is understood
that the affair will come off Wednes-
day of this week 1t is also stated that
Mrs. Dixon, wife of Superintendent
Dixon, has been selected to do the
hon0rs and WELD the hammer in driv-
ing the spike. Many of the officials
of the company will be here for the oc-
casion. Just at present the engineers
having charge of the construction of
the new line feel little blue about the
weather, but they are looking forward
to greater activity when the spring
rains are over.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25
The McKinley-Alger Master
piece.

The report of the Court of Inquiry
into the beef scandal, as shaped and
edited by the President, may fairly be
called the Mckinley Alger master.
piece
II censures only the General who
discovered and reported the facts,
mildly observes that ''in some instances
certain individuals failed to perform
the full measure Of duty OF to observe
the proprieiies which dignity high
military command" and ends with the
lame and impotent conclusion that
"The court is of the opinion that
the mere statement in the official re-
port of the facts developed meets the
ends of discipline, and that the inter-
ests Of the service will be best subsrr-
we'd if further proceedings be not
taken"
"Nobody to blams"-except Miles!
Nobody to be punished-n even the
contractors who supplied the rotten
rations," gathered from old stocks at
the four corners of the earth, and who
in any other country would have been
Shot! Not even u scapegoat is selected
and sent forth into the wilderness of
odium for the crime of poisoning our
soldiers!
Alger is to stay in the Cabinet to
serve as a member OF tie secoud term
syndicate. Eagan, who bought .'near-
ly seven million pounds" of "unsuit
able ratlons" when 'two million
pounds would have been amply suf
ficient," is to enjoy six years vaca.
tion at full pay. The contractors
(who are also campaign contributors)
get big advertisement in the report
Our sanity President goes off to rest
his nerves, after approving the shame
less recommendation of the court that
further proceedings be not taken"
Fortunately IN this country there is
still "court of last resort" at the
pol's.-N. Y. World
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25
Gentlemen of the jury, have you
agreed upon verdict?" asked the

Gentlemen of the jury, have you
agreed upon a verdict 2" asked the
judge.
ave have not, replied the foreman,
and what's more we never will be able
to. "You see judge, he added con.
tidentally, tits just this way: When
the lawyer for the defense got through
talking we were unanimously of the
opinion that his client should be ac-
quilted and the prosecuting attorney
disbarred, il not hanged, and when we
had heard the prosecuting attorney
we decided that the prisoner was
guilty and his lawyer ought to get
twenty years in the peniteqtiary as
we'll. Then you gave us about forty
five minutes of instructions and we
were up in the air, so to speak, and so
confused that we have been unable 10
agree upon anything except that both
attorneys aught to be convicted"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25
BY SURGERY.
Any crininal ca. 30 Alter Ham.els
In Stature ~ to Entirely Defy
Recognition.

One Of q party of gentlemen lounginr
In the Office Of well-known New Or
leans physician few evenings ago
propounded = curious question, apro-
pos OF Q conversation which had taken
. turn toward the bizarre, says the New
Orleans Tmes,Democrat.
Doctor" he said, "wouldn'tit be pos
Able for . man who had committed
some crime, for instance, and. who had
strong motives for concealing his idenr
ttty. to permanently alter his whole ap-
pearance by modern surgical meth
ods7"
Certainly" replied the doctor. "11e
could easily reduce his height, to begin
with, by the removal of q couple Of sec
tions Of bono from his legs. The opera
ton is often performed In ordinary
surgery. and q man who was, say five
feet eight, would look very different
when only five feet six. But he could
be changed beyond drecognitionb by work
on the face alone. His forehead could
be made high aud bold by the electric
needle. His cara could be made to
S>~e Wv " aAo A~Sy JuSt us uo ueS1TSU,
and his nose nodded into any shape
from pug to a high Roman. The en-
tire expression Of the mouth can be
altered by putting deep wrinkles in
each corner, and the eyes equally trans
formed by modifying the general direc-
ton OF the brows. All the operations
would be Of a minor character, and, two
months would be sufficient for the lob.
At the end OF that time a mans own
mother wouldn't know him, and he
could revisit the ssone Of his crime with
impunity. The thing is perfectly feasi-
bic. theoretically, but fortunately a
few little things stand in the way Of
its practical operntion-such things as
time and money. and the difficulty of
finding secluded quarters and a sldllful
surgeon willing to lend himself to the
scheme"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25
The QUEENS WEALTH.
Hlotorls wall No tho First Enrl,.h
Sovereign to Leave Any
PROPERTY,

Her majesty, Queen Victoria, will be
the first sovereign of England who ever
had any money to leave to her family.
All of her predecessors on the throne
lcqueathed q choice assortment of
ebts to their posterity, which parlia-
hent was called upon to make the peo-
pie pay. But while our queen permit
ted us to be taxed for tho private obli-
CATIONS Of George ". and William w,
abe herself paid oil tho debts OF her
father, tho duke of Kent.
There is food for much speculation as
to the disposition of her 1najcsty's inn
mense property. The bulk of it will, of
course. go to the prince OF Wales, and
10 has been asserted that the best es
tates are entailed upon. the queens sue,
cessors with tho condition that they
shall not be mortgaged OF alieniated in
any way. Tho palace at Osborne will
probably be given to the queens fav-
orits daughter, Princess Beatrice, who
Is also expected to inherit the fortunes
OF the Empress Eugenie.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25
A Di.4.rbins photoxr.ph.

4 remarkable story is agitatinga sec
ton Of society just now, says the Lon
don Daily Chronicle. A young lady of
rank. who 10 engaged to be married to
an officer serving In India, recently had
her photograph taken by q leading LON
don photographer before going out to
India to be married. To her horror,
when the photographs were sent home,
thes was plainly to be seem standing
behind her in very menacing attitude
tho phantom image Of her fancs! The
young lady was photographed no less
than three times under apparently or
dinary circumstances, but each time the
same form is said to have appeared or
the negative. The prospective bride
has postponed her departure until ip-
quiries can be made regarding this
singuler affair.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25
Brides Worth More Than
Their Weight.

Several brides have been presented
with marriage portions far exceeding
their weight in gold. The average
weight of bride will not exceed 1870
pounds, or 2,O80 ounces, and this at
800 per ounce is Sal 600. The marriage
portion of Miss Pauline Whitney,
daughter of ex-Secretary Whitney.
was 81 100000, or more than twenty
four times her weight in gold. Miss
Margot Tenants marriage portion of
$4,000 year was more than twelve
times her weight in gold, while the
marriage portion of Miss Mackay (now
the princess of Colonna) of s2,5OOOOO
was more than 300 times her weight in
gold.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25
patho, 4. Pohna.

What is sadder, says the New York
Times. than the way in which the Poles
Of Polish Russia were forced to greet
the coming centenary Of their great
poet, Micliewicz. They were permitted
to give money for the erection OF mon
ument which was to keep alive tho
memory Of Mickiewicz, but were not al
lowed to print or mention in any way
his name. Tho day the monument was
unveiled speeches were prohibited, and
NO applause was heard. What the
crowd did when the monument was
seen was to keep dead silence. but
every head was uncovered.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25
Pocket Picking In London,

Pocket picking is an occupation that
admits of q vast display of ingenuity.
While dtsclaiming any particular merit
for that country, says London paper.
it is an indisputable fact that again
England is in the van of all nations in
that her piekpocAets hold their own
against all foreign competition. In
London alone over 100000 men, women
and children gain their daily bread en-
tirely by this unscrupulous mode of
living.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25
Pointed Parag raphs.

Women appear natural only when
they don't try to-
Any dentist can extract teeth with
out pain-to himself
Paradoxical as it may seem, an odd
genius is genius who isn't odd.
A word to the wise may be sufficient
to get the speaker into trouble.
Still water may run deep, but some
men who talk but little think still less
Always tell the truth-even if you
have to make use of q long distance
telephone.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25
Increasa In she.n.

The number Of sheep IN the country
has increased over 100000 in two
years. Between January 1, 1893, and
the same date In 1897 the number Of
sheep declined from q. .273. .653 to sG, ,s1s,-
643. and their value receded in the same
period from Slas. .ooe, ,2e4 TO se7O2o, ,e42,
pless q lsl,R1 e,AaQ,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25

The Philadelphia Bulletin declares
that Congressman Hull, of Iowa, has
stated that he will not endorse for q
cadetship at Annapolis any young man
whose father is not republican. If
Hull has so stated it is time for the
Des Motnes district to remove its
Hull and elect q man capable of CATCH
ing up with the rest of the country.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25

Mr.. and Mrs. G. b. Russell. Of Au.
dubon, who have been in the city for a
few days took the Northwestern train
for home Sunday morning. G. B.
Russell is the postmaster of Auduban.
and former merchsnt of that CITY.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25

Miss Jesslca Pond leaves wednes.
day, for Topeka, Kan, where she goes
to enter stock compsny which will
play the Crawford circuit the coming
summer season.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25

"Whst are yon doing, Tommy"
standing before the lookin' glass, u
said Tommy, II wanted to see how
would look if was twins.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25
To Float stranded vessels.

Vessels can be easily removed from
sandbars by q new apparatus consist
ing Of an endless chain of buckets to be
attached to the sides Of the vessel and
driven by engines to excavate the sand
from around the hull until the ship
Goats tree. .---..-----------
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25
Mrs. Henry Hargens brought to our

Mrs. Henry Hsrgens brought to our
Office this morning for exhibition, q
most beautiful East India cactus with
bloom some three inches in diameter.
9 beautiful red in color, with q neat
tassel In the inside of the flower. The
cactus has been cared for by Mrs Har.
gems for six long years, and now she
has her reward In q beautiful bloom.
with four others just forming. tire
quires patience, care, and good taste
in any lady, to succeed in raising an
East India Cactus. Mrs. Hargens pos
sesses all these requirements IN q
large degree.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25
Excursion Tickets to Des
Moines,

Via the Northwestern Line. will be
sold at reduced rates, from stations in
Iowa, May 25 and 26, limited to May
20 inclusive on account of State Field
Meet, etc. Apply to agents Chicago &
Northwestern railway.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25

They Ticket japanese worknen.
Every workman in Japan is ticketed,
labels, attached to his cap and back.
bearing his name, his business and his
employers pane.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25

Saturday night during the wind
storm, huge cottonwood tree grow
ing within few feet of Theo. Myers'
residence on First street was broken
of near the middle of the trunk, The
tree fell across the house breaking in
the roof, but injuring no one.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25

Died, Saturday night, the Eve months
old son Of Mr.. and Mrs. N. H. Rcyer.
Tho funeral occurred from the honsa
ct 9 p. M, this afternoon.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25

Mrs. A1lIy psHhtti .!etqsns, this. even
Ing .fteS3 Aantha' bs .yiatt With friends
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-05-25

NJ. O'Connor and ". D. Cody we're
in Loveland yesterday, looking over
the work being done by the Illinois
Central company in that place,