Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-10-05
TWITT IN TROUBLE.
M'NAGGETT GOT HIMSELF IN VERY
HOT WATER.
II Happened Through No FauIt Of
His own. but Was Really Only "A
Case of Mistaken Identity on the
landlords pDrt

| Ills own, nut Was Really Only
Case of Mistaken Identity on the
Landlords Part.
Mr.. Twitt McNaggetts fitting for the
summer brought him to the little village
Of Noseyvlle, which his wife declared to
be perfect love of a place.
As there was no ocean, bay, river or
lake in its vicinity, she felt reasonable
confidence that her unfortunate husband
could meet with no mishaps.
There were dogs there, to be sure and
hammocks, but Mr.. McNaggett was now
caution itself in regard to these danger.
Gus articles.
Nothing short of a railroad spike was
large enough to hold up his hammock,
while he kept his pockets full Of stones
to throw at any canine that came in
sight.
On the second night after their arrival
Mr.. McNaggcd returned from a two
hours bicycle trip-trip was the word-in
rather a bad temper.
His suit was torn and dusty, his face
inhamed and persprng, and he had tast-
ed every road in the vicinity.
SO he received Mrs. McNaggett's first
remark with some asperity.
why, Twitt, dear, have you been BIZ
cyclingT"
NO he rctorted, 1--WE been up in q
balloon. Where's the arnica?"
When he had settled down upon the
porch, from which they were soon driven
by the mosquitoes. Mrs. McNaggett said:
'"Twitt, dear, they're so inquisitve
here. They want to know who we are
"Oh, they do Ell Z" retorted Mr.. Nc
Naggett. And what did you tell EN-? 2"
York business man, esteemed by every
body"
"Wcll, now, you're getting little sense
in your old age" remarked her husband
more cheerfully. That's as good de-
scription of me as any one could ask"
"Well. it didn't suit them" said his
wife, with sigh.
who's t.h-e-m?" echoed her husband
contemptuously.
"Oh, the landlord and his wife and
some of the natives" said Mrs. McNag-
gett They wanted to know what BUSH
ness, and whore it was and when we
were married, and how much you were
worth, and If we had any children, and,
if not, if we ever had. and if we kept
house or boarded, and where we were
born, and what you were worth, and
how old you were, and lot more"
"Not a word, not a word" Kissed Mr.
McNaggett, mot if they all choke to
| death with curiosity,''
His red face took on the old ferocious
eggplant hue.
They're lot OF meddling vipers" he
cried. "Of course you told them to go to
the deuce?'
"Of course didn't" replied his wife.
81 couldn't tell them anything. You
know, you forbade me to mention your
affairs at all. So | don't know what they
think"
And l don't care" retorted her hus-
band as he plucked an assorted handful
of mosquitoes from his face and rushed
indoors.
But they made him care.
Noseyville is one Of those little commu-
nities-alas. too plentiful-where the GU
riosity Of the inhabi nts rises to point
that is almost criminal and a man or wo-
man who will not unpack the most pri-
vate matters for village inspection be
comes an object for immediate suspicion.
Thus the obstinate McNaggetts suffer
ed through weary week, the climax be-
ing reached when their landlord visited
them and said as he unfolded New
York evening paper:
You'll excuse me. Mr.. McNaggett, but
our folks are pretty we'll het up about
you. They think that man who's so
secret about himself must have somethin
to conceal"
well, you know what you can do,
don't you?" howled the Infatuated Nc
Naggett.
Yes, I s'pose | do" replied the land
lord calmly. But want to speak to
you bout this paper fust"
He unfolIed it and displayed the por-
trait of heshy man of middle age with
a bald head and suspciously black wills
kers.
Folks down to the postofice think
that looks like you" he said. ITS
runaway bank cashier from New York.
OF course | don't say
He didn't say any more because Mr..
McNaGgett hit him with an ottoman
made of a cracker box-it proved an ex-
celent weapon-and then fell to madly
packing his trunks.
Hes gone for n warrant" said our
hero as he tumbled the clothes in and
jumped on them. I'VE can catch that
800 for New York if we look sharp.
where you can live 90 years in the same
house with a man and he wouldn't know
you from a side of sole leather or want
to-"
They hailed n passing rig" got thcir
trunks aboard and caught the train NOV.
ing out just rs the landlord hove in sight
with the village constable and a warran.
for assault and battery-New York Her
aid