Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-11-03
WADDLES' HOLIDAY.
WAS MARRIED BY THE EXPENSE OF
LIFE AT A HOTEL.

So Mrs. w. Decided to Better Thing
by Taking Meals at n Restaurant
With Results Not the Most Satisfac
tory In the World.
Now, William, this here livin at OK
pensive hotels is all foolishness. w
can't afford it, We get more to eat thai
we need anyway"
Its most supper time now" replied
William Waddle meekly.
"Yes, an right now's a good time Il
. begin bein sensible. Wen go over II
that RESTRAINT an have some nice tei
an toast Doctors say folks oughtn
to eat much before goin to bed Tel
an toast is light an healthy. If it WASH
for your wife, William Waddle, you't
get to be a reg'lar gormandiZer, like
that fat man as sits at our table ar
eats two meals while decent folks il
only gettin ready to begin on one"
So the Waddle procession moved
over to the restaurant and pre-empted
two seats at the best table.
Some tea an some toast" ordered
Mrs. w.
"Yes'm. What elseg' said the wait,
ress.
"Nothin else. Tea an toast is enough
supper for anybody. Folks do toe
much eatin nowadays
In due time the toast appeared-two
thin pieces for Mrs. Waddle,. two thin,
ner pieces for William Waddle. \
chunk of butter kept guard between
each two pieces and refused TO soften
in honor of the occasion. Likewise the
tea arrived. nice and green, nice and
cold. and with the cups only half filed.
What next?" asked the girl. with a
faraway look in her eyes.
.'Nothin next snorted Mrs W.. with
her eyes on the tea. She detests green
tea. The girl went away.
pitch in, William. This here toast is
good. an-an-dry." she added. failing
to find any other point of excellence.
-'So's the tea. Have some sugar-an
milk?"
Mr.. W. had some accordingly, mean.
while eying the pickle jar and the
cdtcnup DOClle uuuSrllS.
The toast vanished The tea disap-
peared like dew under the hot morning
sun. Nothing remained but two unre-
pentant chunks of butter.
Mr.. Waddle looked at Mrs. Waddle,
but her eyes were on the bottom of the
cup. He reached for the cracker jar
and helped himself to that, too, season
ing up the crackers to fteety and add
ing a pickle by way of an appetizer.
Still Mrs Waddle made no remark.
The girl with the faraway look in her
eyes came back.
Anything else?'
Some more tea an toast, please"
said Mrs. W. carelessly. William won
dered. but said nothing. He knows a
thing or two, does William.
Whats the bill?" asked Mrs. Wad-
die in well fed. unconcerned tone of
voice. William, wipe that catchup off
your whiskers" William did SO
promptly.
Tea. 10 cents cup, is 40 cents;
toast, 10 cents a plate Is 40 cents;
crackers, 10 cents-90 cents, please"
Mrs. Waddle paid. and Mr. Waddle
pondered. As they passed out of the
front door he noticed a sign reading
thus: Regular Supper, 30 cents" Then
he did little mental figuring and pom
dered some more. Mrs. Waddle said
not a word. but led the way back to
their hotel
The porch was empty, The guests
were inside, comfortably eating their
fill in plain sight of the Waddles' camp
ing place. The walters inside passed
the second course. An appetizing Whit
of well cooked fish stole on to the porch
and landed fairly upon Mrs. Waddle's
nose. She is particularly fond Of fish
William picked his teeth cautiously,
yet hopefully.
and forth in her porch chair. The Bay
View train, just passing by. seemed to
engross her entire attention.
William grew more hungry with ev-
cry passing moment. His stomach felt
empty and heavy and queer. But hope
was not dead.
As the Bay View train faded out of
sight Mrs. Waddle stopped rocking, sat
up straight and calmly announced:
William Waddle, it's supper time.
There's our table. an there's our wait
er. Do you mean to sit out here
a-moonin all nightF'-Detroit Journal.
1t Went Into the Waste Barrel.
Your meter in this poem limps a
little" replied the editor.
''Ab" replied the poet. But please
observe that it is about the wooden leg
ged hero of the street cleaning gang
Philadelphia North American.
No Bedc1othes Trust.
"ThoSe coal barOnS can't squeeze