Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1899-05-27
Don't you come a-nigh
When Tommy is a-playin wild the baynit an

When Tommy is a-playin wild the baynit an
the butt.
-Barrack Room Ballad.
Ny friend Private Mulvaney told me
this, sitting on the parapet of the road
to Dagshai, when we were hunting but
terf1ies together. He had theories about
the army and colored clay pipes per-
fectly. He said that the young soldier
is the best to work with. ION account
av the surpassin innocence av the
child
"Now. hsten!' said Mulvaney,
throwing himself full length on the wall
in the sun. "I'm a born scutt av the
barrick room! The army's mate an
dhrink to me, bekaze I'm wan av the
few that can 'tquit ut. I've put in siv-
inteen years. an the pipeclay's in the
marrow av me- If cud have Kept out
av wan big dhrink a month, I wud
have been a horny lift mint by this
time-a nuisance to my betthers, a
laughin shtock to my equils an curse
to mesilf Bein fwhat am, I'm Privit
Mulvaney, wild no good ceuduc' pay an
a devourin thirst. Always barrin me
little fri ind Bobs Bahadur, l know as
much about the army as most men.
/ said something here
"Wolseley be shot Betune you an
me an that butterfly net he's ram
bin, incoherint sort av divil. wild wan
OF on the quane an the coort an the
other on his blessed silf-everlastin' ly
playin Saysar an Alexandrier rowled
into lump. Now, Bobs is sinsible lit
tie man Wild Bobs an few 3-year-
olds, I'd swape any army av the earth
into jhairum an throw ut away
aftherward. Faith, I'm not jokinl IT'S
the bhoys-the raw bhoys-that don't
know fwhat bullet names. an wudn't
care if they did-that do the work
They re crammed wild bull mate till they.
fairly ramps wild good livin, an thin,
if they don't fight, they blow each 9TH
err bids off 'Tis the trut' I'm tellin
you. They should be kept on dalbhat an
kijri in the hot weather, but there'd be
a NUT ny if twas done
did you liver hear how Privit Null
vaney TUX the town av Lungtungpen?
thought not Twas the lift mint got
the credit, but ut was me planned the
schame. A little before was inviladed
from Burma me an four an twenty
young vans undhsr a Lift mint Brace
nose was ruinin our dijeshins thryin to
catch dacoits. An such double ended
divils niver knew Tis only a dab an
a Snider that makes Aacoit Widout
thin he's a p aceful cultivator an felony
for to shoot We hunted an we hunted
an tux fever an elephints now an again,
but no dacoits. Evenshually we puck
arowed wan man 'Trate him tinderly,
seq the lift mint. So l tux him away
into the jungle, wild the Burmese inter
prut'r an my cIanin rod See | to the
man, My p aceful squireen, SEE l, you
shquot on your hunkers an dimonstrate
to my friend here where your fri nds
are whin they're at homer Wild that
[ INTRODUCED him to the cIanin rod, an
ne COMMUNIST to jabber, the interprut'r
nterruptin in betunes an me helpin
5he intelligence departmint wild my
Il amin rod whin the man misremim-
oered
''Prisintly learned that acrost the
river, about nine miles away, was
town just dhripPin wild dahs an bohs an
arrows an dacoits an elephants an jim
yles. Good. SEE l. This office will
1ow close.
''That night went to the lift'nint
In communicates my information.
never thought much av Lift mint Brace
nose till that night. He was shift wild
hrimmin's no manner av use. Town,
lid you say?' SEE he 'Accordin to the
he-ouries av war, we shud wait for |
e-enforcemints. Faith, thinks l, |
we'd better dig our graves. thin, for
he nearest throops was up to their
htocks in the marshes out Mimbu way
But, says the lift mint, since tbs a
peshil case I'll make an excepshin |
Ven visit this Lungtungpen tonight
"The bhoys was fairly void wild de-
oight whin I touId EN-, an, by this an
hat, they whit through the jungle like
IuCh IdUU4US. AUOuI uluAlSuG W0 /
:ome to the shtrame which y had clane /
;orgot to minshin to my OFFICER. was
N ahead, wild four bhoys. an l thought
hat the lift'nint might want to the
,urize 'Shtrip, bhoysl' SEE | 'Sthrip
o the buff an shwim in where glory
vaitsr But can t shwiml seq two
" thin. To think should live to
rear that from a bhoy wild board
chool edukashinr' SEE Take lump
" Timber an me an Connolly here will
erry you over, you young ladiesl
Eve got an ould tree trunk an pushed !
IF wild the kits an the rifles on ut The
light was chokin dhark, an just as we
vas fairly embarked heard the lift mint
,ehind av me calm out. Theresa bit
" nullah here, sorr. SEE |, but
an feel the bottom already. So l cud.
or was not yard from the bank
" Bit av a nullahl Bit av an esh-
uaryl' SEE the lift mint 60 on, you
mad Irishmanl Shtrip, bhoysl l heard
i'm laugh, an the bhoys begun shtrip-
lin an rollin a log into the water to
nut their kits on. So me an Connolly J