davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
WOunded.

Governor Lind received a cablegram
from Manila stating that James Bar
ret, of Company H, Thirteenth regi-
ment, and Fred Buckendorf, Company
slightly and the latter severely. James
Barrett is registered on the muster roll
as clerk at South St. Paul, single.
His nearest relative is Mrs. Mary
Barrel, Kenosha, Wis. Fred Buclzen-
dorf is registered as florist of Mime
apolis. His nearest relative is w. F.
BuckendQrf of Miuneapolis.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
Five Cakes,

Il wish to pay you for five cakes"
said traveller to railway restau-
rant keeper.
But you had only four-a sponge
cake, cocoanut cake, an almond cake
and a currant cake'
"And a stonnach-ake," added the trav-
eler.-Brooklyn Eagle.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
A Wife,s PRIVILEGE.

"How did you get this injury 2" asked
the doctor, as he was dressing . scalp
wound on the mans head.
she broke dinner plate over my
nead," was the reply.
"Your wife,"
"Of course. You don't think I'd let
any strange woman come into my house
and knock me around this way, do
you?"-Chicago Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
EVERYBODY In.

1.-THE government advertises," re-
marked Jason, ''that it will require 49,
900 employees to take the new census,
and applications for appointment ara
coming in at the rate of II, 400 day"
$50 I see. Awful cute way of the gov.
eminent, that, to take the censust"-
Puck.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19

Now" said Mrs. Cumrox, I'VE muse
have few handfuIs of rice on hand for
the bridal couple"
"A few handfuls of rice." echoed her
husband. ''Nonsensey Find out where
they are going to set up housekeeping
and send 'em around a few hams and q
barrel of -four"
Which is why Mr.. Cumrox got anoth-
er of those whitening 1ooks.-Wasbing-
ton Star.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
] ROSWELL p. FLO WER, DEAD
Former Governor OF New York suc-
cnmbs TO Heart Failure at
Passport. l.. I.

New York. May Ia. Former Gov. Ros-
well P. Flower died Friday nightat 10: 30
at the Eastport Country club, Eastport,
L. l. Mr.. Flower asstaken i'll early in
the day with a severe attack of acute
indigestion. In the afternoon symp-
toms of heart failure snpervened and he
grew steadily worse until the time of
his death. The attack Of heart failure
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
Circumlocution.

Mother-For mercy's sake, Harriet,
what do you and Mr.. Dumleigh find to
talk about? TWAS buzz, buzz, the whole
evening.
Harriet-We were talking about
trusts and combines, ma, but it was not
profitable conversation, after all. Mr..
Dumleigh talked about all the co1nbina-
tons he could think of except the mat
rimonial combine.-Boston Transcript.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
On the Fence.

Higgins-1s Barrows an expansion
list?
Wiggins-He seems to be divided be.
tween expansion and contraction.
Higgins-His political views must be
queer.
.Wiggins-Oh! I refer to his ideas of
finance. His sole ambition is to ex-
pand his Indebtedness by contracting
more debts.-Catholic Standard and
Times.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19

when I went over to France I
couldn't make anybody understand me.
and yet my French teacher had told me
I spoke the language like native
did he say you spoke It like a native
of France?"
"N-no.-Chicago Tribune
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
The Horrors in II. Train

Warwick-If we conclude to ally our
selves with England in enforcing a Chi.
nese policy we can expect several
years war with Russia. 1.,. IT,.
Wickwire-Several years. war! Great
Scott! What an investigation there'd
he after that!-Puck,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19

department and at various times have
taken an inventory Of the unique things
that have found their way there. !
have seen set of false teeth, neatly
done up in package bearing no ad-
dress, awaiting Identification. Near by
were couple of fret saws, wig for
an actor, pair of hair switches, a
Kansas grasshopper, a pretzel attached
to tag directed to somebody in New
York, can Of soft soap, box of red
pepper, grapes, candies, toys and al
most everything imaginable. Among
the unavailable matter I once saw a
piece of wedding cake, presumably sent
to some friend to dream upon. One
Notwithstanding little parcel con-
tanned piece of pie addressed to an
employe at the city hall. He was duly
notified that such a package awaited
his orders, but he evidently did not
care for pie, as he never called for it.
Another package had printed on the
top of it: ''This side up with care.
Ink" The sender evidently took the
United States mail service for an ex-
press company. Sometimes there
seems to be method in the madness of
those who are bent on evading the
postal regulations. Not long ago. a
loaded six-shooter was intercepted, and
the next day box of cartridges was
sent on by the same person.
1t keeps the superintendent and his
assistants pretty busy attending to
the unavailable articles, but this is
only a part of the business. Although
the people have learned to be more
careful in the transmission of mail
matter, and are better informed in re-
gard to the rules regulating this branch
OF the service, queer mistakes happen
very frequently. In addition to in
tercepting the unavailable articles the
inquiry department is expected to I'M
tangle all the snarls and rectify all the
blunders that come into the post Of
fees. Some of these blunders are
amusing.
Not long ago an unstamped letter
was found in the city drop. 1t was
sent to the inquiry department. A few
hours later a nickel pasted to piece
of cardboard was found in the mailing
box. On the cardboard was written:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
Marry in Minnesota.

Wisconsin young people now come to
Minnesota to get married. Bert Jones
and Miss Maggie Koonsheen, both of
Jackson county, Wis, were married by
Judge Buck at the court house at Wi
mona, being the first Wisconsin couple
to come to be spliced. The groom
stated that they came to Winona be-
cause they did not care to wait the five
days now required in Wisconsin after
taking out a marriage license.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
The Proud Father.

my boy says his ambition is to grow
up to be man just like his father
II wouldn't let that worry me. When
I was your boys age had burning
desire to be pirate."- 1ndianapolis
Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19

my husband tells all his friends thst
he drew prize I'M the matrimonial lot
terry" she said, proudly
"He probably refers to your bank ac-
count" returned her dearest friend
Chicago Post.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
Not Light.

Mudge-Yes, I do take few drinks of
an evening, but none during the day.
I am no daylight drinker.
Yabsley-No one ever accused you OF
being any kind of light drinker.-In-
dianapolis Journal. =. s,<5,.@z
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
Very AnnOyiux.

"How did it feel?" was asked of a
man who had been cut down after the
lynching party had left him for dead.
1.-THE suspense was very trying" re-
piled the lynchee, briefy.-N. Y.
World.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
Dispatch from K.utx.

Washington, May II. = The follow
ing cablegram was received at the navy
department. Wednesday from Admiral
Kautz on board the Philadelphia:
Auckland, N. IL, May 10. Apia, May 81
Secretary Navy. Washington: Brutus ar.
rived April 20. All quiet at Apia. Condi
ton of efrairs much improved. I havj
withdrawn marines from the shore al
presence be required no longer. I.
(Signed) ''KAUTZ."
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
:. AnhsExaeutior,

q Remember" said the good man,
that there are sermons in stones -
.'Not in those that you run against
with your bike. J" retorted the cynic, and
the argument was necessarily at an end.
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19

Mother-Did you meet many strang-
ers at the reception?
Daughter-Only one, sea captain,
and he made me very tired.
Mother-Did he talk shop?
Daughter-No; he talked ship-N.T.
Weekly.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
THOUGHT HE WAS MEANT.
But His Supposed Insulter Was Only
Talking Through a
Telephone.


Atlanta seemed long way from the
South Georgia town in which I was
compelled to stay several hours. I
curled up on a bench in the little wait
ing-room and went to sleep. Voices
awakened me after awhile. Then 1
found that some of the men from the
village had come in to spend sociable
evening around the stove. A big, broad,
red-haired young man had the floor,
and he was relating an experience,
which, as I judged, had recently be-
fallen him.
eyes, sir" he was saying, when I
was in Atlanty to'other week, I jest
thought I'd take in the town; so I went
into one of them big, tall buildings that
reaches most to the sky to get a good
sight of the whole thing at once. Jest
as walked into an Office to look out
of the window heerd bell go t:ng-a-
ing-ling, and mans voice say: HUI
lo!'
II looked all round, but didn't see
anybody, so I amt saying nothing. The
voice says again: 'Hullo!' This time
I answers, 'Hullo!'<
:''Who is it?' the voice says. Abe
Turnipseed,' says. Then it tells me:
Speak little louder, can't hear I
noticed the voice seemed to come from
little Closet in the corner of the room.
I yelled out loud: Abe Turnipseed!'
1T was quiet few seconds, then:
Yes, you owe me five dollars
II was surprised, but I only yelled
back: L don't no SIGH thing
"'Yes,' said the voice.
"No!' said I, as loud as coul,l holler.
~'You don't say!'
ayes, I do say; and, what's more,
I'll say it, if you don't shet up yelled.
81 would like to see you,' the voice
answered.
''By that time I was mad, so I called
at the top of my voices. We'll, jest walk
out and take look at me, you idiot!'
$50 you will settle with me, will
your he asked.
my, was mad! Yes, I'll settle with
you'll says. And with that jerked
that door open, and there stood man
with something up to his ear, an ear
trumpet, I reckon. Ijest grabbed that
man out O. there and kicked him clean
to the other side of the room. You
oughter heerd him. 'P'lice! Murder!
Murder!' he bowls. A lot of men
rushed in and nabbed me.
Turn me loose I says. There's
your crazy man. But they 'peared to
be friends of his'n, and hustled me out
into that alligator thing that runs up
and down the buildin', and fore l
knowed it was at the bottom, and a
policeman took me off before could
say a word.
"They kept me locked up all night.
Next day that man came, with his head
nll tied up, and told the jedge he was jest
a-talking to friend (blamed if could
see any friend), and that jedge made
me plank down ten dollars and seventy
five cents. I kinder felt the town did
me."-Youth's Companion.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19

TT IL sid that an average Of only
one widower out OF eIeyen mazrses .
widow.
sT suppose that must Be because slso
widows prefer TO 60 SITTER shs younG
felIowxr Chicago Record
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
How He won Her

'Would / were a bird, . she sung, with
IN appropriate accompaniment on the
piano.
You are, " he broke in, rapturously.
Thus he won his suit Chicago Post.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
His Crop,

He had little garden and
His neighbor had some chickens;
The only thing raised whereabouts
At present is the dickens.
Chicago Daily News,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19

Old Lady-Where will the NEXT ear
take me, sir?
| Conductor-It is likely to take yoU
most anywhere IL you stand there IN
the middle of the tTack--Bostou
CnuYier
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19

Butchers Boy-Tomson's eat has just
caught a big rat DOWN our cellar
Butcher Charge Tomson five CENTS
for eat meat. We can't afford to feed
his cat for nothing. - Boston Tran
script.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
Clericus-Here is a penny, my little
How II seems.

Here's to the man who knows Il all;
His ardor none can Quell.
He learns things in two seconds which
It takes him hours to tell.
-WaShiuHton Star.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
1nternat conaplinent..

The Tenor-That COMPOUNDED dog Of
yours, madam, bowls every time IsingI
The Typewriter--So he does, poor lit
tie fellow. His nerves are gradually be-
ing ruined.--Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
M Won der
tie for his store,

He ordered statuette for his store,
The style in gloves to display;
They sent him the Venus of Milo, and now
He swears in horrible way.
IN. Y. World
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
Startling.

Il have come" exclaimed the large
framed, athletic young woman, rolling
up her sleeves, Ito clean out this
ROOM"
Which, being the scrublady, she i'm
mediately proceeded to do.-Chicago
Tribune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
The Place for TaIkfn1

The Place for Talking.
Mrs. Madison-I heard that that Mrs
Beacon, from Boston, is a brilliant con-
versationalist.
Z Mrs. Upton-Well, she isn't. I met
her at musicale yesterday, and she
hardly had word to say-Brook1yn
Life.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
A Reflection.

We denounce grammatic errors =
With much emphasis and vim;
But were pleased to hear the crowd, wheD
We're approaching, cry: That's him.
Brooklyn Life,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19

"Who's that horrid little man over the
.way?"
"Oh! that's my brother"
"How stupid of me, dear; ought to
have known by the ikeness."- ALLY
Sloper.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
1t Always Does.

often wish some man or men
OF psychic lore, would tell
Just why ones toothache leaves him when
He rings the dentists bell.
L. A. w. Bulletin.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
No OIeO for Her

"The horseless carriage approve"
They heard the housewife mutter
But argument cannot remove
My hate for cow-less butter"
Washington Star.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
Passed Bad Coin.

Joseph Zopp was arrested at Red
Wing by Chief of Police Lee for pass
ing counterfeit dollar in Axel Erick-
sons confectionery store. When
searched another spurious dollar was
found. The authorities believe Zopp
is connected with a gang operating a
mint in that locality.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
A Brevet Deacon.

"And you have made Jim Jackson q
deacon in your church,"
Eyes, sab. Dat is, he's brevet dea-
son, sah."
"And what's brevet deacon.
George?''
Hes a deacon dat don't handle no
money, sab. "-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
Important Invention.

Efforts have been made by lumber
operators and woodsmen of an inven-
tive turn of mind to devise a sort of
steam machine that would work as
traction engine on snow roads through
the northern forests, and as result a
machine was built the past winter in
the woods of northern Minnesota by
F. 8. Farr of the A. c. Akeley Lumber
company of Minneapolis, that bids fair
to work as complete a revolution in
woods operation as the use of steam
has already worked in the hauling of
logs by railway. This machine has
hauled over an ordinary snow road in
the woods eight loads of 10000 feet of
logs, and its capacity is only limited
by the power of the machinery. It was
built in the woods and is very crude
affair, but better one will be ready
for the coming season. Its unique de-
vices are all patented and lumbermen
in all the northern country are on the
watch to see it's operations with deep
interest.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
Must Have Left Some

Billings-I understand that many of
the vultures in Cuba persisted during
the war?
Bulette-ProbaNly they did. Our
boys didn't eat all the embalmed beef.
IN. Y. World.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
Not Enough.

MOI EnOu8h.
He observation-disclosures kiss before
go.
She (disgustedly)-Well, if you do
not want to kiss me more than once
you need not kiss me at an.-Harlem
Life.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
Badly Mangled.

Henry Dengel, aged 20 years, was
caught on a shaft at Porter's mill Buck.
man. His left arm was torn from the
body, all but small strip of flesh. His
left leg suffered compound fracture
below the knee. One bone in the right
leg was broken
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-05-19
MINNESO NEWS.
A Desperate Decd

4 young woman walking along the
street in front of the Guaranty Loan
building in Minneapolis astonished the
pedestrians by running up to Judge
Gilfllan and asking for protection
from a young man who was close be-
hind her. The young man came up,
and placed a revolver at the girls head.
Judge Gil6llan knocked the weapon
up just as it exploded, the ball hitting
the building and the powder. burning
the woman's neck. He started up the
street and meeting policeman, fred
at him. The officer dropped and the
ball went wild. The young man went
to the middle of the street and shot
himself the head, causing death.
The youth who committed this des-
perate deed was Bernhard Golling.
For eight years he had been faithful
employe in the Model clothing store.
He was 10 years year of age. About
year ago he met a girl named Julia
Vettar, at a resort on First street. He
became infatuated with her, and last
September they were secretly married.
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1899-02-08


'ducai'on 10 the district scn,ols A.
the ace OF IS he hecame clerk IN f.,
general store, and was next emplo,e,
10y the Rio Gmnde Western rnllS,n,
company At hc age Of 20 he com,
me"crd business for himself in The
wholesale fruit, produce and grain bus-
lness, In WHICH he has been engaged
ever ce.
Mr.. koyi nee was eleced one of tho
fr't Democratic con- cilmen OF Spring.
Vile, in 1891, and also served a ERIN os
city recorder. lie has declined the
nomination Of mayor of his city. That
Springvllle is considered one OF the
strong Democratic towns OF the State
Is In u large degree attributed TO the
energy OF NJ Roylance. who Is con.
sidrred Ivy all who know him as a
leader and organizer He served in
the Second stae Legislature.
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1899-02-08
NOTICE OF TRUSTEES SALE.

Notice Is hereby given that In accordance
with and under the power and authority grant
ed by that certain trust deed made March :;
1895 by Charles Brash and Rosa Brimhall
Brash, his wife, TO the undersigned trustee for
The Middlesex Banking Company, corpora
ton, and recorded In The ONCE OF the County
Recorder OF Utah County, Territory (now
STATED of Utah, In book "a Of mortgages at page
423 OF said records, the undersigned trustee
will offer for sale aud sell, ~ public auction, 70
'front.' door OF the county court house OF said
Utah County. In Provo City, state OF Utah, on
the End day OF March, 1893. at " o'clock noon OF
said day, all the real estate and water rights
hereinafter described, or so much thereof as
will be necessary TO pay and discharge the IN
debtedness secured by said trust deed and
amount paid for water assessment in accord
anee with the terms OF said trust deed by said
The Middlesex Banking Company, the owner
and holder Of said indebtedness ana interest
thereon and reasonable attorneys fees and
trustees fees and other costs as therein pro
yided, reference TO which trust deed - hereby
made for greater certainty and the same rs
hereby made a part OF this notice. Said sale
viii be made at the written request OF said The
Middlesex Banking Company aforesaid anu
because OF default In the payment on interest,"
and instalments OF said indebtedness which
have accrued on and subsequent 10 the LAT ahy
of April, 1898, and because OF default ~ the
payment OF assessments on water stock hereln
aftet dceeribed as provided by the Conditions
~ ~ said tr,ist deed. Said The Middlesex Bank
ing Company having elected 70 declare tne
whole OF said Indebtedness, principal ana n
terrst, 10 become az once que anu paSapip w
reai on OF such default 80. J. :.
Said property is particularly described as
follows: Commencing twenty l2Ol chains west
OF the southeast corner OF the northeast quar-
ter Of section seven "a, township eight, south
~ range two east OF salt Lake meridian, In
Utah County, State OF Utah, and running
thence north forty chains, thence west ten
ceains thence south forty chains, thence east
ten chains TO the D ace OF be ginning, also al
vyater rights thereunto pertaining or W any
way belonging, together win twenty shares o.
49, etock certificate No. 80, In what -
"ndt21n as Lake shore Irrigation Company"
and an right, title, interest benefit ana equity
| ~ reaemptlon OF said Charles Brash ana we,
| their heirs aud asslgns' IN OF 70 salo P1VpeiS
| ara every part thereof
hated luis 2jth day Of January, 1899:
WILLIAM II. DALE, Trustee.
Chas w. Boyd, Attorney.
(Firsf publication Jan, e. 1921
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1899-02-08
Dissolution of Partnership.

Notice is hereby given that the CO
partnership heretofore and now exist.
ing between p. p Hindmarsh and g.
l.. Grier is this 10th day OF Januar,
dissolved by mutual consent. The bus
mess Hereafter VIII lie conducted by @
l.. Gricr; he assuming all debts owing
by the co-parinersllip. and collecting
all outstanding accounts.
G. l.. GREER,
p. p. HINDMARsH.
Provo City, Utah *42
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1899-02-08

'esnoqeIuM 7 W'OZ
10 ulIou 6l9luIpsmm, plB& puB aoWO
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1899-02-08

In the District Court OF the Fourth Judicial
District, State OF utah, County OF Utah.
Estate of Walter IL. TIuish. deceased
Creditors will present claims with vouchers
TO the undersigned at her residence in Payaon,
utah county, on or before the Both day OF No
vember, 1899 CHRISTIAN HUSH,
Administrative OF the estate OF Walter II.
Hush, deceased.
f. s, Richards Attorney.
First publication Jan. 2S, 1895.
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1899-02-08

WE understand that M. L. Snow Of
the Brigham Bugler is intending
shorty to start Democratic paper In
Ogden, to be known as the Weber
County Times. Brother Snow has
been with the Bugler for a good many
years aud has male II a representative
paper OF Box Elder county. We wish
b i'm success in the new venture,
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1899-02-08
SU M M ONS.

In the District Court OF the Fourth judicial
District Of the State OF Utah, sitting In and
for Utah County.
Christina Hansen, plaintiff.
VS. , SUMMONS.
Chris Hansen, defendant.
The State OF Utah to the said defendant:---
You are hereby summoned TO appear. within
twenty day alter the service Of this summons
upon you. II served within the county In which
this action is brought. otherwise. within thirty
days after service, and defend the above en-
titled action; and IN case Of your failure so TO
do, juc gment will be rendered against you &C.
cording to the demand OF the complaint, q copy
OF which Is herewith served upon you.
CHRIsTEHA HANSEN,
Attorney, per Sc.
Postoffice address: Provo City, Utah County,
State OF Utah
(First publication Jan. is. 1897