Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, Ramsey Co., Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1905, 1899-05-05

Mr.. EPIzOOT WILKINS,
he Writes ofHis Experiences in Wash.
tnRton and of the Obstacles That Pre-.
vented Him From Accomplish the
Object OF His Mission.
Washington, d. q.
Tu the Editur.
am nj ontu hartbroken and diskur-
eidged ginerally. I hev been sot down
on, buncoed and politically hoodooed. I
hev he'd all mi plans npsot and hoomil-
iashun heaped ontu me bi men hoo
klalmed tn be Dimicrats, but voted with
the Republicans wen their votes wus
needed. l wux originally sent heer bi
Grover Cleveland to bust the Spanish
freely and prevent it's ratiicashun. I
thankfully accepted hiz munney with
thet objick in vue, and I onestly ment to
fulfill mi part Nv the cOntrack. But
everything he1 workt agin me, and 1t
u doc tn him tibet I relate even at this
late da how it wuz that I failed tn ak
komplish the objeck Nv mi misshun. Mi
iust dooty, Nv kource, wuz tn see the
Ulmlcratic senaturs and yoose mi in
hooence tn hev them vote agin the freely
wen it kun up in execootiv session.
hurried around and introduced miself
and told 'em tibet Grover and I expected
them tn du their dooty. I wuz dubbly
surprized tn find tibet none Nv 'em he'd
ever heerd Nv me before, and tibet tina
didn't care a continental kuss about Gro
yer nor what he wantid. Wen I ex-
planned tn them the need nv a crate ma
tional issoo tn enthoose and rejoovenatc
the two wings nv the Dimicratic party
and make EN- flop tugether in harmony
l wuz larfed tn skorn and no attenshun
wuz pade tn mi advice. Sum Nv the
yunger, senaturs he'd the impudense tn
ask me where I wuz frum, and M on
'em askt me if mi muther allowed me
tn go out after dark. "Sich remarks ez
thet l kali insultin' tn a Moo Jersey
Dimicrat," sed !, land I kin punch the
snoot NV eny man tibet makes 'em. I
EN- a peeceful citizen, l en-" sed l, "but.
l don't allow no man tn tork tn me like
thet nor tn make eny disparagin' remarks
about mi friend and next door nabur,
Grover Cleveland, e sum NV yu seem in
kllned tn du." I wuz in the smokin'
room NV the senate at the time, and wen
l he'd fnisht mi bluff l thot the s%enaturs
wood sa l wuz rite. But tina didn't, and
l wuz further hoomiliated bi bein' run
out bi the kapital police.
l he'd d~iskuvvered, doorin' mi personal
conversashun with the Dimicratic SEN
aturs, tibet tina he'd bin tempered with hi
tibet dangerous yung man, Mr.. William
j. Bryan, and the time wuz tn short tn
undo all Nv his politikal intriggin. 1 be-
gun tn feel it in mi bones tibet we wuz
goin' tn git a larrupin in the senate wen
a petition sined by Grover Cleveland
and Carl Schurz and a lot of Massachoo-
sits mugwumps wuz red, prayin' fer tn
hev the Fillipinos select their W stile
nv government and run it themselves. I
he'd notist, doorin' the days Nv our par
tvs prosperity, tibet whatever Carl
Schurz and the mugwumps wanted wux
alwuz beaten. Therefore wen I herd
tibet tina wuz agin the idee NV %expanshun
I sumhow felt tibet mi MUSEUM wood
prove abortiv, and tibet %expanshun wood
probably git a chance tn expand. With
sum Nv our senaturs fallin' intu line with
the Republicans, only wun hope wux
left, and tibet proved an illoosiv wun.
l nu tibet Agoncillo, the Representative
nv Aguinaldo, wuz in town, and tn him
I went tn SET whut ade and kumfort I
Good git frum the Filipeen insurgents. I
went tn hiz hotel and told him hoo I wuz.
He sed he wuz glad tn git help, even
frum a Moo Gersey Dimicrat, for hix
koz needed bracin' up, and now wuz the
time fer action. "Yu will heer CRATE
nooze tu-morrer," sed he. II hev cabled
tn mi Superior, A%guinaldo, fer him tn
talk the aggressiv, and drive the Amer
ikins out NV Manila. Thet will enkurrii
all our trends in the senate and yoonite
EN- ez wun man agin the freely. With
the help NV SIGH Republicans ez Hoar AMI
Hale and SIGH Dimicrats ez WI repre-
sent. Mr.. Wilkins, l hev the asshoorance
tn announce in advance thet a crate VIC
tory awates u.s." In order tn establish
tibet sentiment in mi mind he ordered up
sum shampane and invited me tn drink
with him.. | wuZ not akkustumed tn
SIGH rich nurrishment. hevin ben brot up
on plane applejack, but I wuz disposed
tn be soshul. and so l TUX sevril large
drinks. expectin' each wood be the last.
Ez we progrest in the discussion Nv in
ternashunal afares / saw more and
more konstitootional reasons viii the
freely shod not be ratifde, and viii a fur
rim people hoo were reddy to go it alone
shood not be interfeered with. I also
felt fer the time bein' tibet 1 Good la
aside mi prejudis agin niggers, or half
niggers. or even quarter niggers, ez long
ez tina Good pa four dollars a bottel fer
shampane and let me drink it.
I retired tn mi virtuus couch tibet night
with the firm belief tibet the freely wuz
beeten, and tibet l Good go bak tn the
farm in Moo Gersey and feel tibet 1 he'd
dun crate wurk.
Alas! how all mi hopes wuz dashed the
next da wen we gut word frum Manila
tibet Aguinaldo's forses he'd run up aRin
the Amerikin army and gut most kussid-
" lickt, and tibet Agoncillo wus on his
wa tn Canada. 'I.cood still feel the ef-
fecks nv the latter's a%ristokratic drinks
wen the distressin' informashun wus
brot tn me. I he'd no hart tn du emmy
thing after tibet, fer it il no yoose to
argify agin akkomplisht fax. The Amer
kin flag he'd bin fred on, Amerikin SOL
gers he'd bin shot down in Manila, and