davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-01-19

The officers barber is proud The
reason therefor lies in new revolving,
dOuble-back action, full jeweled, eX-
pansion balance shaving chair with
windmill attachment, and arrangement
for putting people into 9O16 different
angles and lacking them up and down.
The quarterly meeting of the Pierian
Circle, held last Sunday, was undoubt-
eddy one of the most successful ever
held by it. y number of invited guests
were present. am, however, unable
topublish the names, on account of the
difficulties which surround reporting
for this paper.
The program follows:
Violin Solo .....................M Member Class A
sounds from Home
Paper 49,. NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. Member Glass
nExtemporaneous Speaking" .
' wan AT Manila ' 0''''' l
Song and Chorus x, Pierian Quartet
'She was Bred in Old Kentucky
Paper .................. Member Glass
Modern Spiritsm'
Mrs. Graham. Miss jerks Miss Granting
Paper Member Glass
Paper ............... o Member Class d
William of Orange"
c,e-,. The Voice from the Vest" I,.a w.,
Captain DOckerty.'
DABATE:
Resolved. That an alliance between the govern
mentslOf Great Britain and the United States
is greatly to be desired.
Affirmative .............M Member Glass ID
Negative. .............. Member Glass r
The piano trio was especially enjoyed,
and all the musical numbers were ex-
ceptiOnally we'll rendered. Among the
papers, the one on "Hidden Forces"
showed advanced views on questions
which are rapidly coming to the front.
In the debate the gentleman on the
negative side accepted the opportunity
to administer one of the most beauti-
full and effective verbal castigatfons to
our sozcalled "motherrountry" which
it has ever been my good luck to listen
to. He was given unanimous verdict.
l very much decry the effort Of the
red-headed orator of the Pierian Circle
to get gay at my expense. In his paper
on Stoves" he likened me to parlOr
stove, which is most beautiful to look
at, but cold, empty and black within
And there were quite number of
lady visitors present, too. 1t was a
mean thing to do. Especially as l was
unable to disprove either assertion
Besides have always turned my back
on the crowd when speaking, in order
to conceal my interior characterization.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-01-19

grown up boys are not in playful
mood. They are rather i'll gitaway-
full mood.-Denver Post.
The year may be young, but
that is no excuse for supposing
that it needs you for it's guardian.
Kansas City Mail.
An East st. Louis magistrate
has decided that razor is not a
deadly weapon unless fourished-
On the same principle whisky is
not intoxicating unless drunk, and
a fool is not fool until he opens
his mouth. Louis Post-Dis-
patch.
Evanston, ILL.,, has a mayor who
is certainly unsophisticated as he
thinks he can stop the blind pig
business by shutting off the water
supply. What fools these mortals
Saltwater Gazette.
Generally, if one observes a
moral crusade closely, the fact
will develop that, like the
Christmas turkey which was
thrown through the window to
the pious negro by a lot of bad
boys, the gifts of heaven often
come through Satan's hands.-St-
Paul Dispatch.
While Quay is on the rack in the
east the west came forward with
the Clark senatorial bribery case.
But Montana can't overcome the
lead Pennsylvania has secured in
matters of this kind.-Princeton
Union.
That according to report man
from the country with his jaw in
sling called upon one of our
dentists recently to get tooth
pulled and when told he could
take laughing gas if he wanted to,
went out in a huff, saying that
such toothache as he had was
no laughing matter and d" if
he wanted any ''gassin' . about it.
-Fairmont Sentinel.
CONGRESSMAN Booze is the name
of gentleman who will represent
Maryland in the next congress
If he don't live up to his name he
will be different from the majority
of congressman Zumbrota News
The gall of some people is very
pronounced. 1t pushes them
along without visible means of
support. They manage to dress
well and keep a little money in
their pockets. They pay for that
which can be got in no other way
and keep warm at the expense of
neighbors. What they were
begun for is question no one
can answer. - Preston National
Republican.
An English guide book makes
the curious assertion that large
proportion of those who have
made the assent of Mont Blanc
have been persons of unsound
mind. MelrOse Beacon.
When fellow tries hard to
make a good name for himself
there are people who don't like to
part company with him, and hold
him down to their level VIM
dom Reporter.
If you are thoughtless enough
to refer to the powder on wom-
ans face you may get blown up
Waterville Gazette.
Mr.. Kean and Mr.. Beveridge
have been named to represent New
Jersey and Indiana in the United
States senate. It may turn out
that Mr.. Kean is dull and that
Mr.. Beveridge doesn't drink
drop st. Paul Globe.
The young woman, in New York,
who imagines herself to be dead,
is evidently victim of the same
malady as the democratic party
which imagines itself to be alive.
-W1llmar Argus.
The waterworks department
! does seem to be a little long on
oilers, for fact-unless some of
them are engaged in pouring oil
upon troubled waters. Minnea-
polls Times.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-01-19
PASSING EVENTS.
BY HANS MILLER.

BY HANS MILLER.
The House of Representatives con-
tains three "prima donnas." The rest,
they say, are only "ballot dancers"
We have just received word from
Washington that our special CORE
spondent had been arrested and given
thirty days.
His jObIOts the devil must be located
in the bowels of the earth. We have
heard of men who have been assisting
in raising the devil every day.
\ man in st. Louis was given 80
days for stealing satchel. He should
have been sent to hospital, for it was
only an attack of the grippe.
Senator Quay says it is impossible
for him to get a competent and impair
tial trial in Philadelphia Perhaps he
would prefer Chicago.
In the fashionable world everything
being worn is striped. This will help
to pave the way for those who have
just completed penitentiary sentence.
The man who acts like a bear at
home will not prove success on the
stock exchange His acts will be moth
ing but succession OF bulls.
The fellow that makes most of the
"cons," is Mr.. Demijohn.
Butcher Weyler is giving banquets
galore in Madrid to the military
officers who would like to see him in
power. The only power that man de.
serves to be in is the power of the devil
n new brand of whisky is being
manufactured which is almost trans.
parent. Its best feature, which is sure
to make it popular, is the fact that it
produces paleness about the nose.
An ex prisoner in Rhode Island has
brought a $4,000 libel suit against a
newspaper which called him a profess
sional crook. He claims that this un.
called for honor cost him an additional
five years, and that he was nothing but
hobo, whose sole occupation was try.
ing to locate paradise for his profes.
sion.
The man who drinks large quantities
of champagne, rye4and brandy in the
early part of the evening, can expect to
be with congenial spirits the rest of
the night.
Although an auctioneer is always
knocking down" things, he is never
arrested.
Gov. Lind recommended the manu-
facture of dairy supplies at the prison
in his recent message to the legislature
Airships are about the only things
wherein the management could sue.
cessfully avoid competition with out
side labor.
The mattress trust is the latest fad
of capitalists. 1t wont prevent lying
however.
Soldiers in the Philippines have reg
istered kick against embalmed beef.
They say it lacks staying qualities and
that they have to give it up too soon.
England and Russia are going to
settle the Chinese question by arbitra-
ton. They are going to employ one
thousand female servants from Ireland
to continue the breaking up business.
o
The social swim in New York is on
the decline. Still there will always be
plenty opportunities to get soaked in
that city.
Charles Weinberg, whose skull was
fractured in getting off a train naar
Buffalo, N. Y, kept whistling popular
tunes until he died, regardless of the
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-01-19


ninety-five hours. he never struck up
the tune "There will be a hot time in
the old town tonight"
When you see gentleman going
along the street with his hat cooked to
one side of his head, don't imagine
that he is tough. He is either an ex.
pansionist, or else cooling off an over
worked brain.
A beautiful blond woman was dis.
missed from a court room in Chicago
for smiling at the jury. If she was al
lowed to continue her filtration no
doubt it would have been hung jury.
4 woman will never be success as
a lawyer. Her tongue is to oily and
generous.
Competition between bankers and
safe blowers is becoming as keen as the
appetite of miner in the klOndike
| who has been forced to live on four
beans day. The bankers, however, are
| still in the lead.
Ambassador Tower, who was ap-
pointed to Russia, has name that will
inspire respect. With such name as
Charlemagne Tower, diplomatic rela-
tions will adjust themselves.
| OBerne. Switzerland, has just con-
Quoted its annual onion market very
successfully. These markets, like
others of similar nature, have their
strong points.
That cOlOred minister who COM
mitted suicide in Lexington, Mo-, be-
cause his congregation were talking
about him, must have been badly neg
lected in his youth. One would mag
inc that the millennium had arrived it
all the ministers would commit suicide
whom Bob IngersOll has been talking
about.
Senator Mason is vigorously opposed
to retaining the Philippines. The ques
ton is, how can Uncle Sam let go when
both ends are loaded?
When man is in tight place, it is
perfectly proper to say that he has a
fit.
Girls depend OH their good looks to
catch man. "Coppers" also must de-
pend on their good looks" to succeed
ing how old we were. The fact is that
when we are joyful we feel young; but
when attacked by melancholy and be-
come down hearted, we feel as though
we were hundred.
An eastern paper says shat a man
who steals from another should be Civ
Ell life sentence, for the reason that
he possesses diseased BRAIN" Ger
tainly, he has diseased brain: but if ii
was kid-gloved gentleman who
robbed savings bank, it would be lack
of mental vibrations and be acquitted
with honor. Some of these theorists
would be hot stuff for dime museum
An editor in Puerto Rico was swim
died out of SO by a confidence man
He thought he was signing an endorse
ment, but later events proved that it
was a check We have always under.
stood that an editors penchant for
looking at both sides Of thing, was
irreproachable.
\ Lutheran minister in New Jersey
was summary removed because he
smoked ana read the papers. Although
that minister has been trying to save
the souls of those heartless deacOns
they too, will be smoking in the sweet
By and by.
Autograph fiends are becoming
thicker than lobbyists are around leg
islature. War heroes head the list
Our price in this line is twenty.fi five
dollars dash, including the ''pen."
The distinguished, high honorable
nobility of Cheshire, England
are being imposed upon by their ten
ants. The right hOnorables have just
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-01-19
CHURCH NOTICE.

Services in the Prison Chapel at 800 O'Clock
every Sunday morning. Protestant and
Catholic services every alternate Sunday.
Rev. j. H. ALBERT and Rev. FIR. CORCORAN
chaplainS.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-01-19

Editor Easton, of the Gazette, threw
something at the plumtree and down
came the saltwater postoffice. Long
may he wave.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-01-19
<,ao1KF X'eX|SlSESs:

Havana turns out to have been a
pantry. The blood on the floor
was that Of pigs and poultry, and
not patriots: and the dirty iron bar
whereon the reportorial magma
ton saw victims of Spanish cruel
ty hanging, was used to hang
meat on. Thus passeth another
hot story from Havana. Mime
apolis Times.
What funny things happen in
New Jersey. A policeman there
was promoted, he celebrated the
event with cold bottle, and then
he shot himself dead.-St. Paul
Globe.
The reason why men succeed
who mind their own business is
because they have no competition.
Orange Eva. Observer.
The reason why women put
powder on their faces is because
they wish to appear in the "four
Of their youth" - Orange (Va.)
Observer.
The rain came down in sheets
on Saturday, and it is thought
that the rest of the bed clothes
will come in the next shower
Orange va Observer.
Don't judge a man by the scowl
on his face: perhaps it wasn't
there before he saw you.-Alden
Advance.
The capacity of SORROW belongs
to our grandeur; and the loftiest
of our race are those who have
had the profoundest sympathies.
Waverly Magazine.
A full heart denotes exceeding
happiness. A full hand likewise
denotes exceeding misery if the
other fellow holds fours. Jackson
Pilot.
Mrs. Lucinda Reese of Brazil,
Ind, has asked for a divorce, So
600 alimony and the custody of
the fourteen children. She might
as we'll include the family dog and
make a clean sweep of it.-Denver
Post.
1t isn't every fellow that sings
in the choir and lengthens his
face out until it resembles tele-
graph pole, that is Christian.
Some Of the biggest hypocrites in
existence do these things, in order
that they may have better oppor-
tunities to swindle the people
Centralia MO- Fireside Guard
Poor old Sagasta. He has
certainly been through enough in
the last few months to break down
any man not made of cast iron.
The strain even burst Paris
sewer. Madelia Messenger.
Magistrate (sternly) - "Y ou're
a pitiable specimen of humanity.
What brough hit you to all this deg
radiation and disgrace% Pris-
oner proudly - 1t took three
policemen Melbourne Weekly
Times.
The golden calf is getting more
rope every year, and he bellows
for men to fall down and worship
him while he eats even the straw
out of their bed ticks and lets
them down on the Stats. - Water
vile Gazette.
He-''Oh, yes: when | was in
London l was enthusiastically
received in Court circles
She-"What was the charge
against your Waverly Magazine.
Two Fresh" young fellows
walking down street saw the min
lister slowly approaching them and
one of them accosted him thus
''say, Dominic, have you heard the
news?" "No, what is it?'' ''The
Devils dead" was the reply. Then
in Truth [ must pray for two
fatherless boys" was the quick
rejoinder. -Faribault Jeffersonian.
When some men bury the
Ratchet after quarreling, they 60
right out and dig up an Az
Waterville Gazette.
Just by way of having little
fun, thieves broke into the Jail at
New Brunswick, N. j., stole the
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-01-19

An anonymous letter writer has
threatened to kill Mark Hanna.
1t is hoped the wheels of our gov
eminent may never de blocked
in that tragic manner.-Denver
Post.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1899-11-15
vIROQUA'S GREATEST Pride.
Opening Of the New "f1oteI Fortney, athe Most rlagnifcent HosteI-
ry in all Western Wisconsin,,

The opening Of the new Hotel Fort
ney. Monday evening, was an occasion
of much satisfaction to the people of
this city and the surrounding country.
To be able TO boast of having in our
splendid Viroqua the most palatial
hostelry in all Western Wisconsin, is
much to glory yer. But that it is
such there can be little question. The
Fortneys are entitled to commentator
of all progressive citizens for their
enterprise. 1t is a monument 10 their
industry and push, and the best wishes
of all will be with them for future
success. Work was commenced on the
big hotel early in June and it to-day
stands completed and is the pride of
every citizen.
To describe the exterior of this mod
ern building would be superfiuous. The
picture printed below gives a much
better ioea of its grandeur than we are
able to do in a type description. In
size it is "a X ia feet, three stories high
with basement. 1t is heated by steam,
the plant being located in the base
ment. From this fifty radiators are
fed, located In nearly every room and
in the halls.
The basement Is subdivided for prac-
tical purposes. The southeast corner
room, 20 x 80 feet, is used for a barber
shop by Charles Thompson, who con
ducts three chairs and has a fine bust
ness place. The space north of this
shop, 30 40 feet, forms the sample
room for commercial men. The balance
of basement is converted into laundry
and ironing quarters, bath room for
house employees, supply room, fuel
room. vegetable cellar, etc. This de-
partinent has a nine foot ceiling, a solid
mass of concrete underneath the floors.
The ground floor, or first story, is a
beauty throughout. You approach the
office by a corner entrance, reaching
the same by three stone steps, passing
through double doors and a vestibule.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1899-11-15

south sides of same.
The second floor is given over to sleep.
ing apartments except a slightly guest
parior in the southeast corner. There are
Il. chambers. nearly all having two large
windows Every room and the hall il
provided with Brussels carpet, and are
furnished just alike with three pieces Of
furniture The third story is almost an
exact counterpart of the one below, ex-
cept thai ithaE4fYeeping chambers and
the casfessAe Aarain, furniture about
The bal fisihoht House, which !.
~supDlanted BY the new Hotel Fortnev.
W founded in 1854, by Henry Nichols,
AID was named the North STAR One
who claims to know says it has been
presided over by twenty-five landlords,
not least among the number being Gen.
eral Rnsa1 MIR Fortney pure based and
has conducted the same for the past
twelve years. 1t was the scene Of many
merry and big times in early days. 1t
was inhabited last night for probably
the last time as a public hostelry. The
cd building will be removed to Mr..
Fortney's farm adjoining toysa.
The new hotel is the property Of b,
Z. Fortney and his sons, Ncls and Tor
ger, the latter having management of
the same, Nels keeping supervision O.
Etbeir livery business, and the senior
will, as he has in the recent past, look
after his farming interests. The build
ing WIS commenced last June, "A. FL.
Mitchell of La Crosse, having the con
tact, Schinck 81 Stolte of La Crosse,
architects. The plumbing and heating
was put in by Hengel 81 Palen, OF
Sparta. The house and it's furnishing
cost no less than $50, 900. The Fortney
livery and hotel barn, three stories OF
solid stone, is in keeping with the
splendid house.
THE BANQUET OPENING.
This was a delightful affair in all res.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1899-11-15

Best fur coats and warm winter
mittens at Michaelsohn's. 4.
George johnson is again employed
in Ed. Harrington's barber SHOP:
-Luthern Aid society meets at Rev.
WesphaPs, Wednesday evening. Every
body invited.
DIR. r. w. Baldwin. dentist, success
sor to DR.. Rogue. Office in. Devlin
block, opposite new Fortne5 hotel. a
Mrs. B. F. Norris wishes to an
nounce to the ladies that she will sell
her sailor, walking and golf hats from
40c up. Also reduced prices on trimmed
hats.
For a piano or an organ you can get
the best makes at very reasehable pisces
of the GROvES-BARNEs Music Co,
BEN G. BROWN, Agent, Madison.
Viroqua.
-To-day's market prices: Cattle 50
to So. SO, hogs So. % to So. go, sheep SO. 80
to So, lambs 49, so to 81. so, wheat SOC to
SIC, oats zoe, corn 25c, butter Ice to TIC,
eggs 16c, potatoes 25c, chickens DC,
turkies &c to &c.
|ChaS. w. chase, One4O1 ane pushing
young farmers OF Viroqua town, gives
the CENSOR ssn itelu Of interest con-
corning sheep ~husbandry. On Monday
he sold his ! 80 increase from "A sheep,
consisting u 80 April lambs, which
weighed 5. $50 pounds and sold at five
cents, or 1919, 90. From the Al flock he
sold $40 In wool, or a grand total sef
S349, and we are lead TO the conclusion
that farming Jays,
Roy w. Baldwin has determined to
locate permanently in the old home
town for the practice of his profession,
after spending several years in Iowa,
much of the time as lecturer in the Iowa
Dental College at Iowa City. He has
purchased the business of Dentist Reque
and his shingle hangs from the outer
wall. second story, Of Devlin's block.
DR.. Baldwin has had valuable experience
in his life work, and merits the patron
age and confidence OF the people in bis
| old home, all of whom wish him success.
DIR. Reque will remove to Westby
about the first. os the year.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1899-11-15

aa# --A--A
M lison has q growing reputation as
a sea of learning and art. To this the
univ ,sity contributes in no small de-
gree. Wawerele led to reflections in these
lines recently when in the Groves
Barr s large piano warerooms in Pick
ney rect. Wahave known MI. Groves
from the time he lived III Viroqua, and
duri Z the fonr years he has been in
Mad on, we have observed with pleas
ure ] wv extensive his business has be-
come The house has not a few custom
ers 9 long the N~orwegians in Madison,
and s vicinity. Here the purchaser is
sure 0 hnd q high grade of pianos, or
gans md other musical instruments at
reast liable prices. We write this in
view of calling the attention of our
read IS to this interesting mrsic house,
and advise all those who are inter
este6 in music and musical instruments
to &c there and make the acquaintance
of Nj Groves and the junior member OF
thef IN, and their wares, together with
the )rice of them. 1t will cost
moth lg to do. SO, and it is possible they
arril at the same conclusion we reach
ed, t 1T if we needed anything in their
line business we should apply to the
Gro s-Barnes Music Co. To their
plan warehouses tie best musicians in
Mad on go when they wish to purchase
mus or musical Instruments.
- -
tt Groves-Barnes Music Company
is p1 pared to fill orders promptly on all
the lowing makesof pianos: CHECKER
ING. 3lasius, O. b Chase. Fischer,
Stra % Schiller Gilmore Regent and
Shut Z, at prices that VIII defy compe-
tito Write us andS will send you
pric. or call on you.
RovES-BARNES Music Co.,
$50 ] ckney street, Madison, Wis.
BEN G. BROWN, Agent.
Viroqua, Wis.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1899-11-15

| Here you are in a room 26x32 with a
reading apartment just north of it, sep
arated by sliding doors, IS by % feet.
| containing a CRATE and mantle and
numerous individual writing tables.
| These commodious rooms are handsome
in finish and well suited to the purpC5e
for which they are used. Here there
are three plate glass each nine feet
| wide and six feet high with two feet of
| stained glass above. These rooms and
all the halls on this floor have tiled
floors. They too, as well as the dining
room, have steel ceilings. Off the Office
are the baggage room, wash room and
sanitary closets, all splendid il their
furnishings. The ladies' ingress is on
the south by a hall. entering a waiting
room with toilet room adjoining. The
dining room is next west, and it is a
| cheerful, light place with six double
windows on the north and south, 80 x 80
in size. and calculated to seat rs persons.
| The kitchen is separated from this by
two pair of swinging doors. The
kitchen is 18 K 30, and adjoining are
| cold storage. pantry and China depart
ments. There is but one sleeping room
ON this floor, that next to the Office.
This story is IL feet high, finished
throughout in oak. maple floors except
the space covered by tile.
The stairway leading from basement
to garnet. is located about midway in
| the building, east and west, and close to
| the north wall, is six feet wide and easy
| of approach. On each floor are located
bath and toilet rooms, hot and cold
water; a system of electric call bells;
apparatus for fire protection and fire
escape ladders. From top to bottom the
house is lighted by electricity, handsome
clusters of globes extending from cell
ings in the leading rooms and halls.
Precaution was also taken for a system
| Of gas illumination, and pipes were laid
/ and fixtures placed for that purpose,
should it be desirable in the future
Furniture is all new and fully in keep
ing with the general surroundings. A
~ten-foot cement walk extends from
building to curb-stone on the east and