The Winslow mail., 1899-07-27
EI1NNY SLIPS OF THE TONGUE.
Some UnintentiOnal TranspOsitiOns
of Words That Made Serious
Remarks LaughabIe.

A fashionable congregation was once
startled by hearing the reverend gentle
man announce that they were about to
sing Hymn No. 36S-From Iceland S
Greasy Mountains After this they
listened with equ.nfmity when they
were reminded that they should not
-covet their neighbor's house, NOR his
'oss, nor his AK" Preaching before a
varsity congregation on the queens
diamond jubilee, he remarked i'm
pressively: ''Now, my brethren, you
have a queer dean, very queer dean,
"a very queer dean indeed
As it was widely known that he had
recently serious difference with the
dean of his college, the slip was IN
tensely enjGed.
The same reverend gentleman once
assured his hearers that they all knew
what it was to have "a half-warmed
fish" within them. "A half-formed
wish" he meant. On another occasion
he referred to bon the baptist" Feel
ing dimly that there was something
wrong. he tried to correct matters:
NO, no; mean the baptist Bon
Another dear old college gentleman
had occasion to reprimand an under
graduate who had wasted two consecu-
tive terms in youthful follies. After
lecturing the delinquent severely in his
-queerly high-pitched voice, the dean
finished by saying: 81 am sorry to have
to speak so severely to you, but l am
credibly informed that you have broken
many rules of the college; you have
been incorrigibly lazy, and, to cap it
all, you have deliberately tasted two
wormsi"
''Are you fond of music, Mr.. -?'
''Yes," was the divines answer, "but
L don't know very much about it. l
don't think L have very good ear; in
fact, the only two tunes really know
well are God Save the Weasel and Pop
Goes the Queen!'"
What will you have?" was once
asked of a nervous clergyman at
Widespread luncheon table, as the time
came for the second course. Thank
you," murmured the embarrassed cler-
ic, with his eyes fixed on a seductive
looking strawberry cream in front of
his hostess, 81 think will have little
of that stink puff"
And this reminds one of another din
rner tale. The stage was dessert. Host
ess-"What will you have, Mr.. Jones?
There are nuts, oranges, figs. Mr..
Jones Pigs, feas!"
At the licensing session held in a GER
team west country town recently the
chairman, dealing with the statutory
limit for bona fide travellers and get
ting his expressions little mixed, re-
ferred to it as being three miles as
the flow cries." A limb of the law
who was engaged in the case ventured
to correct his worship. With defer
ential smile this exponent tried to
amend the phrase: Your worship
means as the fly crows'-or, rather"
he added, hastily, "as the cry fiows!'" 3"
No one was sufficiently rash to mike
a further attempt.
1t would not be fair to mention the
name of the modern Mrs. Malaprop.
who recently made the quaintest faux
pas. The conversation turned on
forthcoming fancy dress ball, to which
all the house party was going. She
was asked what dress she proposed to
wear. Pm having dress copied from
an old French print. It's the period of
the revolution. The picture is one of
Marat being murdered in his bath by
Charlotte Brontei" 1t would have been
most impolite to correct her, and no
.one ever knew whether it was mere
ignorance, confusion of ideas, Or abb
.sence Of mind "-Mainly About peODle |