New-York tribune., 1899-07-26
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

William Willard Howard. general manager OF the
Cuban Industrial Relief Fund. has written letter
10 President Clark Of the Christian Endeavor So
ciety IN which he says: I'm the work OF the CUBAN
Industrial Relief Fund there is Just one hard task
70 refuse TO give work 10 the gaunt, hungry eyed
reconcentrados who come asking for H. All or the
rest OF the Industrial work is by comparison easy.
II IS AT least no more difficult than the manage
ment Of any Industrial business enterprise under
similar conditions. But TO be compelled 10 watch
these hungry creatures come each morning full OF
hone for a DAYS employment that means food for
children or helpless old folks at home, and then re-
turn. detected and disappointed, Is heartbreakins.
We do the best that we can. We employ from day
N dav all the men, women and boys that our funds
will permit When have reached the limit or
our capacity for employment we are compelled 10
refuse the applicants who come after no matter
how urgent their need or how anxious we are 10
help them"
willie. didn't tell you to stop that noise. Now
uo This is the second time now, ma" a."-(Chicago
News.
Some advertisements are funny enough TO deserve
rratuitous circulation Tho following are from
England but they will be appreciated by readers
in this country:
TWO menageries recently arrived In a border town.
one OF which was under the management OF Sisnor
- and the other under that Of his wife, trav-
elling respectively their own account here
they decided 10 unite their forces and the 1act
was intmated the bill thus
"o1,,na 70 the arrival Of my wife my collection
=, ferocious wild animals is considerably aug
mented"
This was the work OF foreigner. It Is thought
- have been fairly outdone by native who hung
or, the following from a travelling exhibition OF
waxwork:
",rhe public Is invited to see Her Most Gracious
Majesty Queen Victoria. in waxwork' as large aS
life. and other curiosties"
The Hyphen-"Mght ask what your nationality
is?" inquired the man who mad oeen taking poi-
"Certainly My ancestors came from, various
countries I am German-lrish- French- Dutch-
Swndish- American. I have no patience with man
Who limits himself to merely one hyphen '-(Wash-
ington Star
Hutchinson KAN seems to be the home OF the
most accommodating people IN the world. a young
couple out there got up at midnight and were mar
ried a week ahead OF the announced time In order
TO accommodate some friends who had been sud
denly called away, and who didn't want TO miss
seeing the wedding.
Drawing a Comparson-"Dont talk like a fool
Joshua" said Mrs Harix; TO hear you tel II tolHs
goodness knows never ran after you fer minute
Well haIn't sayin' you arter me. Melinda"
replied the old man, but that don't prove nuthin
nohow reckon ION 5he tap II psrs tn gather hm
in list the same."-(Chcago Record.
LAWYER was recently called TO salina, Mo, in
Tho interest OF certain heirs OF the late Nathaniel
Head a rich old bachelor who died there month
ago Among other "reminiscences OF Mr. Heads
carly life this lawyer relates that he was once the
ardent lover Of Lucy Webb. the girl who later be-
came the wife OF President Hayes. Mr. Head lived
and died a bachelor. and perhaps II due to this
disappointment in his youth.
A. the Mountain House.-"Isnt It magnificent"
exclaimed the enthusiastic boarder I've always
wanted to see storm in the mountains. You re-
member Byron's lines, OF course?
. FROM peak to peak. the rattlins crags among.
Leaps the live thunder
III sort Of worries me-" replied the other party.
''Whv? Are you afraid OF lightning
.'Rather. l am afraid the landlord may charge
for this storm in his bilL"-(Puck
sympathy and affection for a certain insect pest
we're openly expressed at recent meeting OF a
tbeosophical club in Philadelphia One feminine
sneaker declared that It sinful to kill the
nopular hedbug She said: II caught two bedbugs
hiring ne behind the ear. took them gently in my
aresrs plaeed them outside the window and ex-
claimed. Dear little bedbugs love you. but you
,nust 60 home to return more" The bedbugs
danarted and never came back. Another speaker
made an appeal for the mosquito, which, she said
lied at best brief and painful existence signing
re death warrant when It took its first taste OF
human blood True Esoteric Buddhism required
,ba, all windows and doors should be screened so
that the sum total OF animal suffering might be
Iessened" A giddy girl sitting behind the speaker
.tcLIod her neck with the tassel OF a parasol and
the vicious slap this broad philanthropist gave at
the supposed insect drew forth ripple OF laugh
tar from the rather unbellevlng part OF the au-
dience.
pedAgorue (severely)-Now. sir, for the last time,
what's the square Of the hypothenuse OF right
sngled triangle equivalent TOT ,,.
Boy (desperatelyl-lts equivalent 10 a nckin fer
me sir Go ,ahead--(Boston IraVe!er.