The times., 1899-11-12

thousands Of Woodworking clerks en-
ployed within the radius of a few miles
guarantee the producer a gathering quick
to condemn, but capable Of praising. All
of this is verify beyond question: has
never been denied.
And yet, with all these consequential
truisms making matters pleasant for
everyone concerned, there are few stands
in which caterers and patrons tolerate so
many petty things from each other. Thes-
plans indulge in halfway vacations that
elsewhere would be resented instantly, and
still are not reprimanded; directors i'm
pose on their clienteles in trifiDg affairs
not worth the ill-feeling they often pro-
woke, and assemblages too frequently are
unjust either to those who are endeaYoring
to satisfy them or to individuals in their
own bodies. Invariably, the Objectionable
action or inaction is partially the result of
thoughuessness; always it might be rene
died at the expense Of slight inconyen-
ience on the side of the offender. OF
course, the utter selfshness OF the fellow
who retains his seat in a street car While
the woman opposite him is performing
the Egyptian and Spanish national dances
at the end of an elevated strap has some
share in producing the trespasses men
toned; the commercialism that prompts a
raise in prices on every possible occasion
forts to which alIusion has been made; the
egotsm that causes an artist TO resign
in preference to sUrrendering his room to
a sick colleague is responsible for FaTlOl
of the insults with which audiences otca-
sioually are called upon to contend. But
it is believed that d number of the evl S
hinted at easily could be put out Of the
question, and hence this article.
Oddly enough, the full enjoyment OF the
oft N
/ red by those liable to similar suffering,
And the misdsmeanors committed, for the
main part have been the fertile ground
from which has sprung endless argument
and discussion. Thus, newspaper condem-
nation and programme notes EotWithstand-
ing. the nuisance of big walking hats con-
tinues almost unabatsd. True. this out
landish headgear generally is worn By per-
sons of little sense or breeding. but that
fact rarely mitigates the disgust OF the
would-be playseer behind. The dark
| ages never produced a more terrible
instrument of torture and the taun-
dries never turned out more truluui
source of bad language than constantly IS
| being constructed by deyilish!y ingenious
| milliners After a man, having paid a
| considerable price for chair. has sat on
! his coat in an effort TO peer over an i'm
| posing array of ostrich plumes, has taken
a reef in every joint of his body in an at
tempt to glance under the frame whereon
they rest, and with the vain hope of find
! ing vacancy on either side. has per-
| formed contortions that would put Jerome
! and Alexis to shame he is not to be blam-
! ed for giving the recording angel cdd jobs
upon finding that he must resign himself
TO having the heavy villain enter always
from bit of black ribbon, while the hero
inc whom that gentleman is pursuing runs
I nm n oLy fpo and hides in the rear
/ Of a bunch of American Beauty roses. A
carefully engineered and scientifically con-
! structed series of egrets can be made TO
! cover stage like that of the Me-ropoi-
/ tan Opera House from wing TO wing; from
! first border to footlights. OF course, there
are masculine udviduals-reckless he
TCic daring-whO can summon the courage
/ to suggest the removal Of these ornaments,
but dreadful is the attack from ocular
] masked batteries to which such a brayado
lays himself open.
( He was a diplomat and not a warrior
/ who, last week al the Columbia, whispered
+ to his companion that he could not under
/ stand why a woman with c.anium as
/ shapeIy as that owned by the girl in front
| of him should elect to hide her charms in
/ side a hat.
AS has been said. the hair furbaiows Of
| eaoists who attend the play for the pur-
/ pose of seeing, being seen, and preventing
/ others from seeing, still form The principal
one of the discomforts mentioned. But
and this especially from the feminine
/ view-p -p0int-there is also the chap Of small
manners and wondr0us thirst, who trans
forms silk skirts into creased maps Of The
/ Transyaal after every act. and who inya-
riabIy returns with a breath warranted 20
penetrate uine-.uch agmor plate. This boOF
deserves nothing better than being placed
in the rear Of band of pompadoUrs-a
sort of tonsorial great wall of China. He
I would be extermiuated shortly were
managers willing to DO without GER
tain privilege moneys, and so keep
their houses as free from bars as
is the Lafayette On par with the
dry throasad youth. is the theatregoar
who with intelligence all but human. fore
tells the end of a drama fifteen minutes
In advance. and Immediately bolts for the
door. as though there were panic. There
is absolutely no excuse for this economy
Of moments from the person who has de-
voted hours to pleasure, and who not only
5isturbs his neighbors. but affronJs he
players into the bargain. The rustic Of
wraps and trampiHg of feet notable night
ly some time before the curtains fail sug
gcsts the advisabiIiJy Of claiming volumes
of Don't" to the opera glass boxes. as
prayer books are chained in the churches