davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-23
fl PRETTY GIRL G1ANGED IT ALL
BY CHARLES B. LEWIS

THAT'S purity good, that isl" chuc-
killed. the man with the double chin,
who had been seriously thinking OF
picking fuss with a mild eyed .passen-
ger carrying cheap umbrella.
IF anyone talked to me like that
I'd have the conductor break his neck!''
exclaimed the fat woman with the bun
dies.
II say we couldn't have licked Spain
in 90 years if it hadn't been for Dewey
and Schley!" shouted a man way up in
the front of the car.
Who's that idiot" cried five or six
voices in chorus, and everybody caught
his breath and felt that bloodshed was
| near.
Lord! Lord! but if she'd only APP
| pearl" groaned the conductor. "Ah!
but she's ON the next corner, and we
are saved! If can knock down dol
lar to-dayI'll give my share of it to
charity and be thankful into the bar
gain"
The beetle-browed man was about to
ask who "she" was, but the ear stopped
and girl with blue rain-coat and a
Inatty umbrella to match stepped
aboard. She was daisy of girl, and
she knew it, and was smiling over the
fact. She half bowed 10 the conductor,
half-smiled at the beetle-browed man,
and danced into the car. Seven differ
ent men were jawing and gesticuiating,
and 20 other men and women were hop
ing there'd be clean knockout before
the row was over.
"It's luck of the luckiest sort!"
chuckled the conductor as he rubbed
his hands together and forgot to ring
up the fare. Now, then, observe the
sudden and wonderful change, and
after this be prepared to bow to the in
fiuence of beauty"
No sooner had that daisy of girl en-
tered the car than Il wonderful trans
formation took place. The seven men
ceased to jaw and gesticulate; the big
man who had been called hog bobbed
up to offer her a seat; the fat woman
with the bundles dug the next passen-
ger with her elbow and tried to create
an inch of space, and the man with the
big feet smiled blandly down on the
pug-nosed woman and freely forgave
her. Every body grew good-natured and
accommodating in moment, and even
the man who was ready to fight for
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-23
Hard-working sovere,rp..

The king and queen of Roumania are
doomed to live life of incessant hard
work. The customs of the country re-
quire that the sovereigns should al
ways be visible and at the beck and
call of anyone who likes to ask for
them. They are often obliged to walk
for IL hours at stretch, AMI it was
owing to this that the queen once tenn.
porarily lost her voice. Her majesty
usually rises at four and works until
eight, the only time, she declares, when
she can be woman and aathnr."
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-23

fat old buffers who are taking up the
room required by ten ordinary passen
gers. Either bounce 'em out or make
'em pay double fare"
'Yes, sir"
And that 300-pound woman in the
corner with two bundles and a basket
what right has she to occupy IA seats
for one fare? You. conductors or this
line run things as if you were in the
hog business, and no decent man will
take one of your cars unless driven to
it by dire necessity. I'll make it my
business to see some of the newspapers
and have things written up"
Good man-first-rate man, but it's
all owing to the weather." said the
conductor to the beetle browed man in
explanation. ION pleasant morning
I've crowded that man into a car with
5S others, and he was as good-natured
as clam over it. Take your own case,
for instance"
Yes, I'm getting ready to kick. In
fact, 1 do kick. l say the man who
designed a car with roof just long
enough to let the rain pelt down on a
feller's feet and knees as he stands
out here ought to be boiled in oil.
There are so other Tom-fool things /
could mention"
But save 'em up till next time. All!
the fat man and the lame man have
got at it in there. l expected row be-
tween EN-"
The lame man had been hanging to
strap for nine blocks, while the fat
man occupied seat and half and
had his elbows in the ribs of Ae pas
sengers right and left. The lame man
was mad from the start, but he con-
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-23

The beer which is consumed through
out the world in a single year would
make lake feet deep, 81 miles long,
a mile wide, or 1919 acres in area. In
this vast lake of beer we could easily
drown all the English-speaking people,
to the number of 12o,oO0,O0O, through
out the entire world; or we could give
a beer bath to every man, woman and
child at the same time in the entire
continent of America; while all the peo-
pies OF England, Scotland, Ireland and
France could find standing room on its
bed.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-23
CULTIVATED DOGS.
Retrievers That Carry Birds So Gen-
thy They Scarcely Rume
a Feather.

A writer on breaking dogs gives sew.
| eral instances of pretty behavior in GER
tain very good pupils. One beautiful
retriever is madly anxious to start aft
er the birds, but will never stir until
her master gives the word. Till then
she stands. looking up in his face still as
a stone, but at the whispered command
she is off like the wind.
She has beautiful mouth" that is,
she can bring in the dead birds without
ruffiing feather. This accomplish
ment evidently gives her pleasure
equal to that of her master; for when
she is out for a run, she mischievously
"retrieves" the domestic ducks by the
side of the pond.
At first the owner of the ducks was
somewhat indignant over that liberty,
but he learned to feel only amusement
as, no doubt, was true of the ducks also.
One bird, to the writer's certain knowl-
edge, was retrieved three times; and at
last, when released from the somewhat
embarrassing position, she gave her.
self shake, and walked off not a bit
tue worse.
Another dog had so perfect mouth
that he seemed incapable of hurting
anything with it. One day, when he
was at play in field with some friends,
his master noticed that he was carry
ing something in which the other dogs
were greatly interested. Presently it
became evident that birds head was
protruding from his jaws; and calling
him up his master took from him a
young thrush, entirely uninjured.
Notwithstanding the excitement of
the chase, and the efforts the other dogs
had made to catch him, he had carried
the bird with the utmost tenderness.
never once closing his jaws.
The writer of the article goes ON Tn
say most emphatically that these use
full and taking ways were taught with
the aid of kindness and patience. and
that the cowardly brute who has to cali
IN the lash, during training, is USUALLY
far less intelligent than the dog he
abuses.-Blackwood' Magazine.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-23

''Slow, amt it?' growlingly queried
the beetle-browed man, who was smok-
ing his cigar on the rear platform and
looking out upon the rain with dis
gusted expression.
"You bet!' replied the conductor as
he glanced into the crowded car "Yes,
1 hate day like this, and am always
sure of trouble before it ends. There's
~ passengers inside, and every one is
on edge and ready for a row. There's
a cock-eyed man hanging to strap
who'd give ten dollars to pick quar-
rel with me. Lands alive, but here he
comes, and he's got blood in his eyeI"
Look here, now!" began the cock
eyed man as he reached the door, "is
this passenger or hog carp"
Passenger, sir" mildly replied the
conductor.
"Then, why don't you turn out the
Is or 20 hogs in there? There's six
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-23

Just wait for me come back here again.
can prove you + I'm lie or YOU. /
prove you, too, ah!" and without anoth-
er word Tomah pitched the dunnage
from his canoe, pushed off and was
soon skimming back in the direction
whence he had come.
In the bottom of the canoe was a coil
OF rope which the Indian had agreed
to deliver to MERGERS river drivers at
Grand lake stream. This was the only
thing In the way Of weapon he had
with the exception Of the paddle, and
with this he proposed to capture one
OF the moose. When within sight of
the island he noticed that both animals
were In the shoal water feeding on the
eel grass, and as the wind was blowing
from the island toward the approaching
canoe and the moose were both headed
IN the opposite direction he felt himself
sure of q successful job. He made slim
moose at one end of the rope and started
to get near the moose. The moose
while feeding would plunge their heads
under water for nearly minute at a
time while pulling the grass. Then thew
would raise them and chew the grass as
contented as could be. Tomah padded
along while their heads were under
water and when they were raised would
lower himself in the boat and remain 81
lent, letting 1t float. In this way he was
enabled to make fair progress without
being detected The moose goes by
smell more than by sight or hearing.
and so the guide was sure that his
chances were good.
When within so yards of the moose
Tomah laid his paddle away and
srstched down in the bottom Of his
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-23
A Daisy Of a Girl.

Dewey and Schley touched his hat and
said in less aggressive tones:
"Of course, you will understand that
I'm not saying word against the
brave fellows who made up our army
and won the admiration of the world
at large"
"Di.ln't tell you SOL" laughed the
conductor at the beetle-browed man.
"You did,"
"You-you feel better yourself?"
Hanged if / don't! She's a Jim.
dandy, amt she?"
You bet! Say, old man, this road
ought to present that girl with $1,000
worth of stock. She's saved every
conductors head over and over again.
1t any of us can get load of kicking,
Jawing, scrapping passengers down as
far as her street we feel that we are
saved. See that old duffer brushing up
his hair to look purity for her sake?''
And the man with the double-chin
is offering to hold her wet umbrella"
"And the red-headed man is Offering
her his morning paper. Ah-um! If
purity women only realized what a won
derful influence they possessed they'd
they'd"
They'd make it duty to be out on
beastly days." finished the beetle
proved man. you won't mind if L
whistle Yankee Doodle will you? I'm
feeling so lively and good-natured that
I've got to blow of steam some way.
Daisy OF girl-regular Jim-dandy!"
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-23

trolled himself until the fat man pushed
out foot against him by accident.
then he suddenly roared:
"You blamed old hog, but do you
want to walk over everybody in this
carl"
"Who are you calling hog?" fiercely
demanded the fat man as he looked up.
"You, sir! If nature hadn't grown
bristles on your back you'd have. got
up long ago and offered one of those
women seat. No wonder the Span
ish called us nation of pigs!"
If we were outside I'd knock your
head off"
Come out and try It'll"
Its the weather that does it-noth-
ing but the weather." sighed the con-
ductor to the beetle-browed man as he
turned from the door. "Now, then, The
pug-nosed woman and the red-headed
man are getting ready for set-to."
The pug-nosed woman was sitting on
about an inch of seat, and had been
mad about it all the time. The red
haired man was standing up, and he
had been swearing to himself for ten
minutes. A jerk of the car caused him
to lift one foot, and when he put it
down the pug-nosed woman uttered an
"Oh-oh!" and added:
IL there isn't room in this car for
your feet, why don't you go out west!"
You might go along and help me to
cover everything beyond the Missis-
sippil" replied the red-haired man.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-23
A FAIR DEMONSTRATION.
They Were Satisfied the Thing Could
he Done, But by Some
One Else.

Mark Twain and his friend, Rev. Joseph
Fl. Twitchell, once planned a bicycle ride
from Hartford, Conn. their home), to
Boston, and wrote beforehand to an &C.
quaintance in the latter city, telling him
their line of route and what time he might
expect to see them arrive. The appointed
time was an ideal one Tor a long run, and
the two friends started quite early in the
morning But neither of them was accus.
toned to long rides, so after IL or Is miles
had beer. ridden, it became apparent that
each of the riders was waiting for the 9TH
er to say something. Finally Twain said, a.
they came in sight of the railway station in q
small town they had entered: Let's take
the train the rest of the way"
Of course Mr.. Twitchell agreed, and 80
the acquaintance in Boston was surprised
by seeing the two friends walk up to his
door about one o'clock in the afternoon. He
had not expected them till evening, but he
greeted them warmly, and addressing Mr..
Twitchell, said: well, you made pretty
good time, didn't your"
."Oh, fairly good time for novices," was
the reply.
'What time did you leave Hartfordw he
asked of Mr.. Clemens.
about seven a. m"
"What, you don't mean to say that you
have ridden all the way from Hartford to
Boston on your bicycles!"
NO." replied Mark Twain, "but we rode
far enough to demonstrate that it could be
done."-Detroit Free Press
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-23
Tomah a Truthful Man
But He Had to Catch @ Bull Moose
With Rope to Prove II.
NABRIEL ToMAH, a member of the

GABRIEL TOMAH, member of the
III Princeton (Me.) branch of the Pas
samaquoddy Indian tribe, is guide by
profession. On Monday, June 5, while
he was padding in his canoe up through
the Dobsis Lake thoroughfare bound
for his camps on the upper lakes, he saw
q very large cow and bull moose quietly
feeding on a small island in the center
of the stream. The island covers less
than five acres, is near the mouth of the
lake, and in some places is less than
five rods from the shore. Tomah had
waiting for him party of hunters who
had sailed up as far as the white house
in the little naphtha launch Muriel to
avoid long lake journey. So he spent
but little time in watching the move
ments of the animals. He was obliged
to pass the island quite close to where
they were grazing, and expected that
his presence would brighten them away,
but in this he was mistaken. Jas he pad
died along noiselessly the big bull raised
his head, and, after shifting the air a
few times as if to identify something,
walked down to the beach and out
among the reeds straight toward the
canoe until it was less than 20 feet away.
There he stood like q statue and
watched until the intruder had passed
around the bend out of sight.
When Tomah arrived at the White
house landing he found his party with
their canoes and luggage on the shore.
While the dunnage was being placed
In the canoes he began to tell tine story
of his meeting with the moose. Some
members of the party expressed de-
sire to see real live moose running
wild in the woods, and one of them,
Paul Hardiman, of Montreal, ventured
to ask the guide to place him within
rifle range, offering to pay $s5 for the
chance and to take his chances as to the
law. Tomah believes in the Maine Jaw
for the protection of game animals and
refused to guide the party to the spot,
except on the condition that they
should leave their arms behind. His re-
fusal caused the hunters to murmur and
exchange winks. At the same time they
proceeded to make uncomplimentary
remarks about Maine guides and the
big lies they have learned to tell.
II don't believe that there's moose
within so miles of here" said John Nc
Donald, of Boston. 1--WE been in the |
Maine woods two weeks every season
for the past 16 years, and no guide can |
fool me with gush. I've come here to |
fish and not to hear fairy tales. Get |
move on! Let's get started"
Tomah was vexed at this remark, as |
he prides himself on being truthful
man. Q
ugh? All! fairy tale. Me lie!
Ali" he said. "You say I'm not see it?
You do, all? You call me liar. amt
yer? You stay where you are and you
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-23
Misdirected zeal.

'Why the dickens don't you stop?''
asked the angry householder. 1.-The fire
is all out"
II allow it is" admitted the leader
of the village hose company, but they
is three winders not broke yet."-In-
dianapolis Journal.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-23
A Profane silence.

A story is going the rounds of golf match
between Rev. DR.. Sterret and Justice Har-
Ian of the United States supreme court. The
incident occurred at Chevy Chase Golf
club, one of the prominent organizations
near Washington, during meeting be-
TWEEN these two ardent golfers The doctor
discovered that his ball teed up in tempting
utmost 6eliberation, he went through with
the preliminary "waggles," and with a SUI
preme effort-missed the ball. For fully q
minute he gazed at the tantalizing sphere
without uttering word. At length JUS
tice Harlan remarked solemnly: Doctor,
that was the most profane silence ever
listened to."-Pittsburgh Dispatch.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-23
An Excellent Combination.

The pleasant method and beneficial
effects of the well known remedy.
SYRUP OF FIGs, manufactured bv the
CALIFORNIA Ere SYRUP Co., illustrnta
the value of obtaining the liquid laxa-
tive principles of plants known to be
incidentally laxative and presenting
them in the form most refreshing to the
taste and acceptable to the system. It
Is the one perfect strengthening laxap
tive, cleansing the system effectually.
dispelling colds, headaches and fevere
gently yet promptly and enabling one
to overcome habitual constipation per-
manently. Its perfect freedom from
every Questionable quality and sub
stance, and its acting on the kidneys.
liver and bowels, without weakening
or irritating them, make It the ideal
laxative.
In the process of manufacturing firn
are used, as they are pleasant to the
taste, but the medicinal qualities of the
remedy are obtained from SIENNA and
other aromatic plants, by q method
known to the CALIFoRNIA FIe SYRUP
Co. only. In order to get its beneficial
effects and to avoid limitations, please
remember the full name Of the Company
printed on the front of every package.
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP co.
SAN FRANoIsCo car.
LOUISVILLE. Ky. NEW YORK n. =. :
For sale by AL Drugsista-Prioe 500. per bottle.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-23

One of the most remarkable things
on the North Pacific coast is the large
number of halibut in Alaskan waters.
Small steamers catch cargoes in few
hours time, aud it is no strange thing
to see 100000 caught in from two to
three daya
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-23

To Cure n Cold In Ono Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund money If it fails to cure. $50.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-23

Pisc's Cure is the medicine to break up
children's Coughs and Colds.-Mrs. M. G.
Blunt, Sprague, Wash, March 8, '94.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-23

The average man spends lot of time
searching for what he hopes he won't find.
IN. Y. Herald.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-23

The English language is not a dead Ian.
guage.. yet it is frequently butchered. Chi
eago Daily News.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-23

The more faults a man has the louder he
demands perfection in others-Atchison
Globe.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1899-09-23

Halls Catarrh Cure
IL taken internally. Price 75c.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1899-04-11

to the sad hour of his death he re-
NAMED "in the, harness" enjoying
lucrative practice and the conf
dence of all men regardless ofparty
affection.
"He possessed a mind of great
depth and analytical power. The
puzzling problems of law ambiguity
dissolved in the light of his learning
and research like mist before the
sun. So even was his temperament
and so we'll poised was his mind
that signal victories never elated
him ard misfortunes never rem
dered him respondent. In his re-
lations with hts professional breth-
rem he was universally courteous
and gentle and to the younger men,
bers his kindness and sympathy
made him stand in the relation of a
father. BY none Nil his genial
presence and his pleasant welcome
be so missed as by those who have
been closely associated with him in
professional activity"
Judge Petree leaves only one
child, Mr.. Luther II. Petree. Three
daughters, Miss Bette Petree,
Mrs. J. w. Downer and Mrs. John
p. Burnett, and his oldest son, Mr..
Thos. n. Petree, have passed away
since their mother died Is years
ago. Mrs. Downer left a little girl
and his deceased son left a little
boy. These with Lutte, as the
younger son is called, are all of
his descendants who survive him.
Hon. H. G. Petree, of Elkton, is
his brother, and he has a large
number of other relatives in this
county and Todd.
The Bar held meeting Saturday
and passed appropriate resolutions.
In order to give his son time to
arrive from Denver, the funeral
was not held until yesterday morn
ing at 1880 o'clock. DR.. Nash, his
pastor, preached feeling and very
appropriate sermon, and a large
procession of Borrowing friends fol-
lowed his body to Hopewell Gene
terry. Judge Petree leaves Il very
handsome estate.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1899-04-11

egates until Garnet Graves came
in and made his sensational expos
ure OF Somers and laid down the
money. Fifty game men accom-
panied Graves TO the Convention
hall and stood behind him on the
stage, from which he spoke. He
gave a circumstantial account of
how Somers commenced working on
him last midnight. He went and
and woke up McChord's managers
at once and they told him to trap
Somers. 1t was finally agreed be-
tween them that SOmers was to pay
the money at 2:45, he to sign
proxy authorizing Ben Smith, an
Alexander man from Pulaski, to
cast the vote for his CTaylor) coun-
ty, he being the only delegate hen
from Taylor and instructed for Nc
Chord. 1t was further agreed that
they were to leave together on the
3 o'clock train.
McChord spies watched the en-
tire transaction. Eph LilIard and
another game man went to the train
also and engaged Somers in CONVEX
sation while the train was pulling
out, and Graves slipped off, ran to
McChord's headquarters in the
Capital hotel and counted out the
money to McChord s'friends. They
then took him to the convention and
the exposure followed as stated.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1899-04-11
OPINIONS DIFFER.
Some Think the Saunders Chill
dren Died From Poison.

1t is claimed by some that the
deaths of the two children of w. J.
Saunders near Guthrie were not
caused by spotted fever, but that
they died from the effects of having
chewed poison oak, which they
found at the wood pile. The third
child affected is still very low, with
little hopes of recovery. The rest
of Mr.. Saunders children are in
good health and the public school
at Tate :. which was closed on ac-
count of the meningitis scare, has
resumed.