The Irish standard., 1899-11-25
the CHURCH CARICATURED
Continued from page ~

and he is asked to specify the country,
| the village and the convent. If ever he
specifies any place he is gone before
| the rciutation can concluded, he al
ways takes good care TO be a couple OF
days in advance OF the rclutation.
| ULaughter.) We bear such man no
malice. The money he earns he earns
well, and he gets the money OF none
but oil those who richly deserve to lose
1t. Cloud aDpausc.) To such a man,
really. almost wish success. (Lausl1
ter and applausc.)
The sixth and the last is rather the
plum OF the whole collection. He is the
choice gem OF all. One hardly knows
what name to give him. but perhaps the
best would be The Arabiaa Nights En-
tertaincr. (Applause) He is exceed
in@ly moral. He always bears about
him a sort OF religious lalo--thc sort
OF glow that you find on a bad oyster
i'll the dark Uaugllter) He is the
man who converted whole villagc--in
Spain. He was travelling in Spain. and
he happened to meet a poor carpenter,
and lie spoke to the carpenter and said
DO you know Christ" The carpenters
being Catholic. oil course had never
heard WHO Christ was-("Oh!" and
laushtcr)--so he takes good care to
instruct him. The tears OF gratitude
iow down the checks OF that cnlahl-
encd carpenter so he presents him with
a New Testament. tLau@h>er) OF
coursc the carpenter cannot read it
| [laughtcrl but he generally takes it to
the village schoolmastcr, and when the
village schoolnaster has read a page or
two he says: This is dangerous book:
| we must take it to the priest. SO alter
the village schoolnastcr takes the New
| Testament to the priest thea comes the
tragic touch. (Laughter) The priest,
instead OF being iuriously indignant at
the schoolmastcr-witll view to con
tinuancc iii Office cNpectcd-instead o!
being iuriously indignant. the priest is
melted straight away and, carried along
in stream OF religious ecstasy. I did
not know he says. that such book
existed Loud laughtcr.) Oh course,
then there is the embrace between the
moral character and the priest, and tn,
priest undertakes to read bit OF the
New Testament to his congregation
every Sunday. Uaushtcr) The story
finishes will, the hope that the poor
man will not fall into the hands OF tho
inquisition. 1t is the same man who
describes with carelulncss OF detail hi:
interview with Her Majesty the Queen
He is the man upon whose head Her
Majesty laid her hands and said, Yes
know the greatness OF England de
ponds on the fact that my subjects rea;
the observation-disclosures this know
and this I feel that my throne and tho
British Empire are safe SO long as there
is only one moral man like you in M.
dominions. daughter and applause
but the Arabian Nights Entertainer
goes on to speak further. Sometime:
he has had an interview with Our Hol,
Father the Pope. How the interview
came about we do not know. but h
knows everything that passes between
the Pope and the Cardinals as though
himself had been born and bred in tn
Vatican What the Cardinal whispered
to the Pope and what the Pope wills
t pered back to the Cardinal he know
perfectly we'll, but one day he got
: chance OF saying few serious words t.
; the Pope about the state OF his soul
cloud and continued laughter.) H
said to the Holy Father, DO you fee