The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-07-23


natured condescension to the crowd,
and no one thought any the less Of the
orator because his effort was a success
full attempt to please the audience rath-
er than vigorous attempt to enlighten
the court.
Shortly after this incident, A. C.
Wftter speaker of the house of repre-
sentatives, died. leaving a wife and
two small children, and within As hours
after his funeral the wife was buritd
beside him. A committee from the leg
islative body, then in session, waited
upon Colonel Ingersoll, total stranger
to all parties, and asked him if he
would not deliver lecture fer the
benefit of the orphan children. Colonel
Ingersoll said he would. He said he
would not only deliver a lecture, but
would buy $50 worth of tickets. The
lecture was given, something like 1880
was realized and as a consequence the
people of Helena were the first to listen
to Ingersolrs masterpiece en- Shakes
peare, which he had just then finished
preparing for delivery before the New
York Press club
During the trial of the Davis will
case" continued Mr.. Connolly, Colonel
lngersoll got off a good many good
things. One may serve to give an idea.
Colonel Ingersoll had a mind that
worked with the rapidty of an electric
IidSIi. bul accompanying tHe expression
of his thoughts was a slight drawl
which lent an inexpressible charm to his
witticisms and good-natured sarcasm.
One day while cross-examining a wit
ness, retired paper manufac turer, who
was testifying as to the probable age
of the paper on which the alleged will
was written, Colonel Ingerzoll asked:
What kind of paper is that will writ
ten on? Is it good, bad or Indifferent?
Well. said the witness, it is what |
would call medium quality. / have
seen worse paper than that: in fact. I
have made worse paper. Is that the
reason you went out of busness?' asked
the colonel. with the suggestion of a
good-natured twinkle in his eye. Eager
to protect his witness, Colonel Sanders,
opposing counsel. Immediately object
ed and called the courts attention to
the fact that Colonel Ingerson was
seeking to take unfair advantage of the
witness. 1t seems to me- said Judge
Mediation, that Is improper, and is a
reflection on the Witness No, said
Colonel Ingersoll, somewhat brusquely,
it is nothing of the kind it is little
joke between myself and the Witness
Well, said Colonel Sanders, this is
no place for jokes or street remarks
L make just as good remarks on the
street as you do in the court house,
replied the irrepressible colonel, quick
as a fash.
I'm 1891, after Senator Thomas III.
Carter had been appointed commission
er of the general land office by Presi-
dent Harrison, the people of Helena
rendered Mr. Carter a banquet, to
which Colonel Ingersoll was invited.
and asked to respond to a teas. The
toast. by the way, was Our Absent
Brethren but it is unnecessary to say
that the colonel talked upon every con-
pi cI1hi hui
was getting much, politically, in those
days. Tom Reed had been petting Tom
Carter; the republican house of repre-
sentatives had come to Montana for a
postmaster of the house; several Mon
tanans had been loaded with Washing
ton honors: and finally President Har-
rison had appointed Mr. Carter COM
missioner of the general land office.
Naturally, the post-prandial speeches
at the banquet were in a laudatory and
gratulatory vein. Montana, so all tire
speeches ran, was the land of sun
beams, if not Of flowers. of thorough
bred horses, of golden treasures of
beautiful climate, Of great men, of sue
cessful politicians-in short Montana
was the garden of delight. Colonel
Ingersoll listened to it all, while the
smoke from his cigar curlrd above his
head in fantastic shapes, from which
he seemed to draw inspiration. When
he rose to respond to his toast. this is
the way he caricatured Montana patri-
otism:
LIT has been said that conten tment
is the greatest possible wealth, and I
suppose that next to absolute content
ment, and nearly the same thing, is
perfect self-satisfaction. I think I
have found it here. 1t has been said
that an old minister in Kentucky, en-
deavoring to impress upon his hearers
r.
were to go, provided they Joined his
church, after exhausting all the super
latives of which he was master, wound
up by saying, I'm short. brethren and
sisters, it's a regular old Kentucky
place" I suppose you are expecting
in another world simply another Mon
tana. Well, it's delightful to see a
the middle of the regained Eden and
to have the feeling not only that he
lives in the right place, but
that everything he does is right, and
that he has all the information neces-
sary. few years ago fellow from
Massachusetts was down in South
Carolina. and as he walked the streets
of Charleston, after he had been there
some time he saw an old fellow mai ing
a sign upon his house, For SAIL and
this Massachusetts fellow looked at the
old man and said. THAT isn't the way
to spell sale" and the old fellow. with
a great deal of contempt. turned to him
and replied, How long have you lived
in Charleston" WELL" he said. Il
have been here about a year well,
young man." said the Charlestonian, Il
was born here. l guess / know how to
spell sale" There is nothing so beau
tiful as confidence in the place in which
you reside
Like all great takers, Colonel Inger-
soil suffered more or less from en-
when opening his ad-
dresses, and this was so marked in his
address to the jury in the Davis will
case that one of the opposing counsel,
having objected to the exhibition before
the jury of Photographic copy of the
alleged will which Colonel lngersoll
held in his hand, instead of the original,
Colonel Ingersoll replied that he used
the copy because in his agitation he
might tear the original to pieces
Every evening after the trial Colonel
Ingersoll used to invite a small COM
pany of friends, mostly young folks, |
and together with his daughter repair
to a stall in one of the Butte restau-