Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-11-12

amy wife; We. Hinnissy. ar-re salts
lied not to say con-tint with wan:
another la-ad feels that he'd be lone
some without tin. IT'S a matther iv
disposition If iver I got started tn
Lord on'y knows where I'd bring up.
/ might be like me frind an fellow
sultan, Hadji Mohammed. Hadji has
wives to burn, an wanst in awhile he
BURNS wan. He has betther job
thin congressman.
TIL best congressman can get is
forth-class postmaster an a look in
at tn white house on visitin' day.
But Hadji, tn popular and Eloquent
sultan iy Sulu an Bazeen iv Ohio iv
tn Passyfic, owns his own palace an
distributes his own jobs. No man
can hold tn office iv bow-sthringer iv
our impeeryal domain without a GER
ty-flcate firm Hadji. Firm tn highest
Office in tn land to tn lowest. firm
tn chief prizener to tn throne, to tn
humblest ixicutioner that puts a lady
in bag an dumps her into tn lake
iv tn nine millionith ASSEMBLY dis
trict they look to Hadji Mohammed
FIR their places. He is tn High Guy,
tn Main Thing. He's ivrybody. Whin
he quits wurruk tn governmint is over
FIR tn day. An does annywan thry
to interfere with Hadji? Does amy
wan say, 'Hadji, yell have to aband-
on two or three hundred iv ye'er fire.
sides. Ye ARE Twin JUS inside tn
left field fince iv our domain an It's
a rule iv tn game that we've taken
We into that no wan shall have more
thin wan wife at time that annywan
knows of. In behalf iv the comfy iv
tn Society FIR tn Supprision iv Poly
gamy, | request We to discard Nora an
Eileen an Mary Ann an Sue an BIN
bi an tn r-rest iv til bunch, an cleaye
on'y to Lucille. judge be her looks
that shes tn first Missus HATCH
No, sir. If he had he'd reached tn ship
that runs between our outlying wards
without a hair to his head. Instead iv re-
proachin' Hadji with his domestic habits,
wan iv tn ENJOYS that ARE Employed in
carryin' messages firm tn Prisidint to
his fellow citizens, proceeds to tn pretty
little American village iv Sulu, where he
finds Hadji settin' up on high chair sur
rounded be wives. Tis domestic scene
that'd make Brigham Young think he was
a bachelor. Hadji is smolin' a good see
gar an occasionally histin' a dhrink iv
cider, an wan iv tn ladies is playin' a
guitar, an another is singin' L want We,
my Sulu, an another is maxim a tidy an
three or four hundred more ARE SEWN
patches on tn pants iv the Hadji kids.
An tn Ambassadure says: Mos rile an
luminous citizen, here is a copy iv tn An
nual Thanksgivin' proclamation he says
It's addressed to all tn hearty hus-
bandmen iv our beloved country, man
in you among Others he says An here
he says, is tn revised constitution he
says. TIL original wan,' he says, was in
tinded FIR OF stick-in-th -muds that wud-
dent know tn difference between a harem
an a hoe, he says. This wan, he says
is more suited FIR tn prisint gay an ex-
PNttA7ANO t4AAASos lie Says II permits a
man. he says, to cleave to as nanny
wives, he says, as his race color an
previous condition iv servitude will per-
NIT, he says. Thank We, kindly says
Hadji. III threasure these here papers as
vallyable meminto firm that far distant
home iv mine which l have nivver see he
says. I'd Introduce We to Mrs. Hadii
wan by wan he says, but 'twud be bet
Their he says, FIR to stand up here an be
prisinted to her as a whole he says, 'fr,'
he says, It's growing late an / want We
to come up to TIL house, he says, an pick
a mission'ry with me. he says "A Bap-
tist,' he says, raised on tn farm he
says. An Hadji holds his job an looks
for ard to tn day whn we have female
suffrage an he can cast the solid vote iv
Sulu FIR himself FIR Prisidint."
Thin" said Mr.. Hennessy ''ye'er frind
Roberts ought to move to what-d' ye-call-
th'-place"
That's what I'm thinkin'," said Mr..
Dooley- But tbs too bad fr him he was