The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1899-08-30

Bert Howard, the Comedian, Had One
In White Mountains,
His Playing Set All The CuIor,d Walters TO
Doing a Cake Walk.

L feiy
weeks ago said Bert Howard, the &c.
centric character comedian. whose in.
imitably comical piano playing Is max
ing such hit at Keiths this week
MY wife and 1 We're staying az a
summer hotel in the White Mountains
where the employees were all of sahIe
hue; and with some OF them I tbinls T
scored the biggest hit of my career. AT
any rate We went in TO dinner az soon
as bhe dining hall doors were opened
one, evening, and when we came on,
we adjourned to the parlor, where be-
ing quite alone, sat down at the piano
and began To play some Of the rag
time coon melodies that are 30 popu-
lar.
well. sir. 1 hadn't played more than
seven or eight minutes when I'm walkel
"a bright young colored bell-boy. and
apologizing for interrupting me. said:
Veg your pardon, sir; but the head
walter said would you please wait tin
after dinner was served before YOU
played the plano
You can imagine my surprise. bor-
dering upon Indignation; but without
showing any real feelings. / said: The
does IL make TO the head waiter when /
play. or whether | play at all or not?
Does the head waiter lay out the plans
OF the guests OF this house?
Oh, no. sir said the boy: but you
see, the walters can all hear YOU and
they are all out in the kitchen doing "A
cake-walk 'cept when they are obliged
10 be in the dining hall, and they even
do the cake-walk on the way from the
Klf(hpn n ha 1fytp 1,aI
waiter says its no use. that rag-time
has got 10 stop
Il nearly fell off the piano stool, while
my wife nearly went into fits with
laughter; but never touched the piano
again as long as we were i'm that hotel,
ana | qu9t rag-time altogether during
the remainder OF our vacation"
Little Charlie Rossow, one OF the two
entertaining ''midgets" who are de-
lighting the ladies ana children in the
same program with Bert Howard this |
week. was one of the listeners while |
Mr. Howard recounted his experience. |
for he is especially fond OF n good story |
and is himself "A very clever story |
teller
Pshaw"" said the little pocket-edi-
ton OF an acrobat. when my brother 4
and Iwere over i'm Europe this last sum-
mer, with my big cousin he tried 10 hire /
a cottage near Lake Lucerne in Switz-
arland. where we were going TO take a
months vacation, but when the owner /
oOked at Frank and me, he said my
cousin couldn't have il because he -2eX=
n let his house TO anybody who had
'oung children. The idea! And then in |
New York, the other day. a street car
conductor told my cousin he'd have 10
AXE me up I'm mis- lap. because they
iidn't allow children to occupy seats
leedsd for grown-up people The idea
3ut the best one was when a lady in Il
Boston picked me up in her arms and, |
fter kissing me. said: What ever in
uced your mama to put you in trous-
rs so young?'
That's all right: but your speaking
4 hotels reminds me of the time. last
bring, when we were at fine hotel
nd had 10 leave because they wouldn't
elieve we were men. IT'S a rule of the
ouse that children and nurses must
at i'm separate dinning hall: and. do |
ou know the head waiter insisted that |
'e were kids and wouldn't let us go in
, the dining hall, and my cousin got
rad and we won't to another house.
he first night we were there my
rother and l ordered bottle OF beer
ich To our room. and when the boy
rought them up and saw US open them |
nd begin TO drink, he went hack to
he office and reported that there were
Vo kids in a room up stairs drinking |
aer, and the proprietor rushed up to |
op the terrible scandal. AS soon as | !
; saw who we were he burst out | I
ughing, and he wouldn't let us pay
r any beer during the whole week
e house was ours. oh. it's lots of fun |
be Kid all your life. even when
'u're % years old" and the little fell
W put his hands In his trousers pock-
: and strutted up and down the stage
oby in tragic way that produced a
ar OF laughter. while Amelia sum
ervllle. once the merry little noun
In maid and now the ponderous and | n
ituesque, Capt. Kfdd's bride" sud
My grabbed up the little fellow and =
icker than a flash putting him over
r knee proceeded TO administer pa
ntal discipline in the locality where
is supposed to be most salutary. at
same time saying: "Oh, it's lots OF ~,
? TO be kid. isn't it,"
No one joined more heartily i'm tho
oue-n Laughter followed than -
diminutive victim OF the Joke. .Just :
IN the stage manager emerged sud- m
NY from the stage and In a com Il
Inung whisper said something thar i
lsed instant quiet 20 reign. while
re was hurried scampering for m
ssing rooms that would have made T,
pectator think there was more than 10
Kid In the party. ho
'erily, actors are a merry Iot ana an
y 90 nave some jolly times-when ms
stage manager is busy Nj