The daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Ind. Ter. [Okla.]) 1898-1902, 1899-02-16
PARLIAMENTARY oRAToRY.
some Pertinent Hints Given by an
isx-Doorkeeper OF tho nouse
of Commons.

When Simpkinson had been in retire
ment some six months or so strange
rumors began TO be whispered about
among those members who had known
him best. When his name was men
toned men would look at each other
searchingly, as if asking: Are you
in the know?" Or they would retire
mysteriously TO secluded corners,
where they raised their eyebrows,
whistled softly, and, in word, signified
their surprise in the usual manner.
The fact is, Simpkinson had
begun to give private lessonsNn parlla-
mentary oratory to new members and
TO others VINO had never acquired the
art. No mere candidates were received
on any pretext whatever. Indeed, his
pupils had to produce evidence that
they had signed the roll and taken their
seats before they were admitted 10
the Simpkinson sanctum. When once
these preliminaries had been satisfae-
torily settled Mr.. Simpkinson well
coined his honorable friends with a
courtly urbanity worthy of Mr.. Speak
er himself
From repeated conversations l have
had with a few of those who do not
m.nd owning that they have sat at the
feet of Simpkinson, it is evident that
his course of instruction, followed fixed
and definite lines and varied but little,
He would begin: Youwill soon hnd that
il matters but little what you say in
the house of commons, while every
thing depends on how you say It. Ac-
quiring what is known as the house OF
commons style is more than half the
battle. Give 'em plenty of hum and
'haw; to 'er, 'er,' is human, you know
he would invariably laugh at this an-
cient little jest, though he had made II
a hundred times. He had great success
| in this part of his tuition, and the one
instruction which all his pupils faith
fully carried out was contained in the
hint that the house of commons was al
ways impressed when speaker did not
appear to know what he was talking
about, and had no notion what to say
next.
Having thus grounded the beginner
in the first principles Of house of COM
mons oratory-hesitation, little stam-
mering, endless repetition, a reason
able amount of self-contradiction and
any amount of hun" and "haw"-Mr
Simpknson would proceed to teach a
few of the more necessary formulae
How and when to remark: Il venture
to say" or II have yet to learn lead
ing up by many subtle gradation to
that final climax reserved for very spe-
cial occasions: II even go so far as to
venture to think"-all this was care
fully explained. "All this sort Of
hing" he would say. may seem triv
ial to stranger, but it makes all the
difference between success and fail
ure in the house. For instance. If yor
were to ask point blank: VIII any
man affirm that two and two make
four?' most likely some member wou.t
call out: Yes But if you put it like
this: VIII any man come down to tht
house. and stand up N his place anC
venture to say that two and two make
four" they'll all sit mum. 1t impresse'
'em: I don't know why. but IT does
Again, supposing you say something
which is not quite accurate-you know
what | mean-and the other side call
out: oh, OH all you have to do is tt
turn to your men and say very indig
nantly: 4 am within the recollection
of the house. and if your side knows IL
business ii will cheer like mad
Windsor Magazine.