Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1899-10-12

shaved = iubber with BARI hoop Je6
as we crossed tn line. We was havin'
great time, tell We.
"Wa'al. one day when we got bout
fifty miles north o. Ascension Island
we struck tn doldrums, an thinks /
here is good time ter send tn men
over tn side fur a swim. Over they
went. but they came out ag'in quicker
nor they went In. Lord, Harry sails
/, 'wot's tn matter, my hearties? Git
back inter tn ocean, every man Jack
o. YER But they didn't.
"'Cap'n,' sails one o. tn men, EFF
that amt the most remarKablest sight
ever seen, may be keelhauled.'
"'Wot isr sails l. Look fur your
SELF sails he.
"wall, as they all stood there look
In like u passed. of fools, / strung my
self down over the side In n bowline.
an then 1 guy gasp, an purity near
tapped into tn water. Mates, We may
not believe me, but tn side o. that
ship was sproutin' buds like a bass
wood tree in April. Buds, do 1 say?
Nay, they was mostly small sprouts
an branches, an, moreover, they KEEP
CROWN so fast that could see 'em
shootin' outen tn planks like fire Outen
a bar'l.
II promptly ordered all tn men over
tn sides with axes an saws an knives
an set 'em to work cuttin tn branches
out. But, lor', 1t did no good. Fur
every branch we cut out at least five
came in its place. 1t grew to be one
an two days, an tn old ship begun
to take on tn appearance O. one o.
these fioatin' summer gardens We see
goin' down tn East River. TIL masts
looked like May poles, an I'll be chin
wanged eff big rose bush didn't
head. AS fur tn yards, all festooned
with hangin' vines-wa'al, mates, all
/ got ter say is that if 1t wasn't tn
most remarkable sight ever seen by
man or Neptune l strike my r'yals.
that's all. Course tn ship wouldn'
make no impetus with SIGH impedi-
ments hangin' onto her, an she be-
come as unmovable as the rock of
Gibralter.
I'VE finally guy up tryin' to make
port, and guy ourselves up to fruit
raisin' an flower gardenin'. TIL apple
trees raised as fine a cargo o. apples
as We ever seen, an as fur grapes an
roses an cherries, why you didn't have
to LUX twict ter see that we had tn
richest agricultural craft afioat. Wa'al,
things p CROWN, an tn ship begun
ter look like one O. them fioatin' ISL
ands We see in tn Indian Ocean. But
we didn't mind; we were Twin a quiet,
happy life, tossin' about on tn ocean,
an we didn't keer If we never got
back, az l heered some women in
short skirts sing at Coney Island last
week. We even named tn ship Smith
Island.
1.-The funniest thing ever was ter
see tn effect tn tropics mad on tn
temperate zone fruits that grew on
tn ship. Pears an apples grew big
ger nor swash buckets. One apple
would make five pies, an as fur grapes
why when the vines was in full growth
they'd weigh tn ship down tell tn
water come nigh up to tn berth deck.
Ships ulster stop and buy fresh fruit
off us.
But like all good things l ever
dropped inter, this life came to an end.
1t was this way: We was all asleepin'
in tn pear grove one day, when all O.
n sudden we was awakened by pc
culiar sensation. TIL ship seemed ter
be movin'. Up l jumped, an sure
enough we was cuttin' through tn
water like a whale with both fins an
his tail agoin'. l soon see wot made
us move, howsumever. 1t was Brit
ish ship-o'- the-line. She mad come up
while we slept, got a line around a
cherry tree an was TOWN. us ter beat
all creation. l hailed til Captain an
tot inn to cast off or I'd cut TIL rope
In reply he said / could be bowed.
He said he wanted tn island an he
calklated ter take It, An in conclu-
sion he said that If l cut tn hawser
he'd be blamed eff he woulden' blow
tn hull shebang outen tn water.
"Wa'al, raved aroun', but it did no
good, an tn frigate kept town us
along. We finally made the island o.
al tntn WI VI yC tlllhh
old British duffer did? He tied us up
on one end O. tn island, raised tn |
British flag on one o. tn pear trees, an |
proclaimed it British territory. How |
was that for brass? But tn wustest |
part came when they evicted me an |
my crew for non-payment Of taxes. |
Think o. that, mates
II TUX passage fur hum soon after, |
an laid the matter before tn State De- |
partment, but / got no satisfaction. |
TIL Secretary o. State said that l was |
tn best liar he ever seen, an ter go
home an stop drinkink' That's |
where he was wrong, fur We all know,
mates, l amt no drinkin' man, an as |
fur lynn, eff there Is a more truthfuller |
man than l am I'd like ter see him; |
ell, matesT
The mates agreed in a half-hearted |
manner.