Omaha daily bee., 1899-03-07

clean velvet
IL started out with a bunch OF the cal
endars under my arm and put in whacking
days work. The printer gave me 81 that
night l got a room for a half and meal
for two bits. and had Sl.25 velvet. The rum
was cut out. for II was up to me TO turn Il
win-out trick then. | finished the calendar
distributing Job the next day and got another
81. The printer asked me what l was going
to do
"'well, III tell you" he said, there's
one Of these here travelling mesmerist fakirs
here that I've printed a lot Of bills for, and
he wants them scattered around right, He's
going up to give his show at the hall here
tonight. Want to stack up against him?"
81 met the long bearded mesmerst and
made a SO arrangement with him to scatter
a couple Of thousand handbills over the town.
When / went to him that might to get my
SIT was just before the show was to begin
and the hall was rapidly filling up-the
mesmerist looked me over carefully as he
handed me my pay They he told me that
his chief assistant had gone off to Omaha on
toot and asked me II l thought l could go
on and do anything as mesmerists helper.
or course | could.
" I'm going to fire that fellow, anyhow
the mesmerlst told me. He's good helper
most as good con man as am myself, but
hos getting too chesty, and he's untrust-
worthy besides. If you pan out any tonight
maybe I'll engage you right along. Can you
play any stringed instrument?
81 told him that the banjo and guitar were
my particular graft and this delighted him.
So | went to one of the dressing rooms
stripped, and put on the gutta percha under
suit that mesmerists' assistants wear to pro-
tect their hides from the pins and needles
that are stuck into them, and resumed my
clothes, while the mesmerlst sat and gave
me directions as to what I was to do
smooth Business.
THAT was a hot nights work but | don't
think L depart from the truth when | state
that l made an emphatic hit, both with the
| audience and the mesmerist. who was a
pretty smooth old guy. All l had to
do was to act dense and obtuse be-
fore l was plunged into the hyp-
MOTTO trance, and then to liven UP and
do whatever the mesmerist told me to do.
The worst end of it was the onions, turnips
AMI candles that had to eat with apparent
relish, and the kerosene oil that | had to
swallow with the gusto of a hypnotized
man. l also found that my gutta percha
suit was vulnerable in two or three places
especially when big jays from the audience
| borrowed hatpins from their girls and prod
| ded me with them. ! managed to get
| through this end of it without giving the
snap away, however, and the mesmerist
warmed up to me heap as the show went
| on. When, after l had finished a candle
| chewing performance and he snapped me be-
| hind the ear and brought me to, he asked
me If 1 could play any musical instrument
all L had to do was to look yokelsh and say
| no. Then he Svengaied me again and
| handed me banjo. l began to rattle off
| The Marriage Bells Are A-Rngin',' and this
| like to have driven the Council Buffers in
the audience wild with enthusiasm After
| l had played repertoire of banjo music
| under the hypnotic influence the mesmerist
handed me guitar and asked me If
could do anything with that; this after he
had snapped me out OF my banjo playing
trance. l did the sheepish act over again all
right, and then, when he had put me into
trance some more and handed me the
guitar, l went at it and played 'Silvery
| Waves with variations, and then sang
| Down on the Farm, with accompaniment.
| Then the mesmerist snapped me awake and
| shambled down among the audience and
| resumed my part of looking OPAQUE and
! imbecile.
After the show the mesmerist beamed
upon me, told me that l double discounted
his chief assistant, handed me a fve-dollar
bill, ana told me 1 was engaged for the
middle western and southern circuit
win out in Council Bluffs? | left Coun-
Gil Bluffs wearing bells and smoking two
for-a-quarer cigar, and month later when
our show was down in Little Rock, the oily
old mesmerist fired his treasurer and in
stalled me as house counter, in addition to
my duties as assistant fakir was with
him five months, and when I quit him in
New Orleans to take job Of sheet writing
with friend of mine who was making a
book out at the Crecent City track, l had
$1,000, all the gig-lamps out of hook, and
the sassest gait of any man within four
teen miles of the Gulf of Mexico.
Council Bluffs is all right for the variety
show knockabout people to abuse but ii S
| an ace with me-"