New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-09-15
LIGHTS AND SHADOWS.

4
shs vas on bor first visit TO this city having
| come over from ireland 10 soe some OF he' r''"
| tivrs in the New World. one day she came "o'''
| extremely weary and when revived oy '"p .t
| tea described her experience with inc c'''
railroad ,,,uA,
81 had been shopping said she In her deheh'-
fully soft Irish voice. with its quaint ton'h Oh
hrogne and thought would come 5Hck ny a ,rs
AT Twcnty-thid-st. and asked me mn ~ 'e 70
glass cupboard for ticket to rSng ST.
lion and ihcn he told me to go doT ,be ober ldc
rbis T did and after toiling up that lone n.gnl ua
stairs what should find at the top 9 Sn hrst out
| laughing and went downstairs an" came HUM
IN rnnvnsigofon showed that she had crossed TWEEN
ty-thrd-st instead OF Sixth-aVe'
LIKED THEM IN GROUPS.
Albeit an attractive young miss In most ways
like many other young animals It was hcr h""l' -
wolf her food OF this her mother tried 10 "i'"N
her and on this particular occasion was refno"-
strating because Of the number OF peas Alice
seemed 10 think It necessary to consume al
mouthful .o,~ to~k Alice Why
should YOU want to take so many nj ono time .
The, taste SO much better when ,, care" ]"
HE pID NOT LIKE THE HINT
no had ~ occasional genial weakness for -
glass that cheers fact well known TO hts trlendS
As he sat down to dinner the butler said:
Peg pardon sir ont some who wanted 10
sneak to you most particular called you ap this
afternoon"
Who was ~" he asked -. euro
and tel You to cali up s. White Plans as soon as
somcW hat my stided. he went to the phone.
rs this White Plains"
"WeI:. I'm John Doe"
He said aftcrward he heard SUPPRESSED ch CHI.
al this point but the voice only answered, NO
Nov ,93! somewhat irriiated5 he demanded:
The Kcelcy institute" came the reply, ,.u
Then he saw it all and his language Tor r"
moments painful and frequent and free.
DIOGENEs on A NEW QUEST.
4 street scene In Athens about 3oo p. e. Time
evening. Diogones enters. swinging his lantern
Stranger coming from opposite direction meets
Dlogenes and greets him with.
For whom art thou looking friend?"
Diogenes-For honest
Same scene two hours later in the dark Same
Diogenes. this time without lantern. bumps into
straneer~For whom art thou looking friend.
Diogenes-For the bankety blank thief that stole
my lantern,
ROMAN FROM THE BOWERY
once upon a time when the late John McCul-
Tough vas playing IN Washington a member Of his
company was taken suddenly III. The play for that
evening was "Spartacus" and this particular
actors part was that OF messenger who PUSHES
breathlessly on IN scene and cries OUT The
camp IS taken! Fly for your llfe." Mccullough. as
spartacus. asks. Whose camp The messenger
PUSHES from the stage.
The only person whom Mccullough could use In
place Of tho actor who sick was his dresser a
person nomed Bob who albeit clever in his
chosen profession. was not an actor and the accent
| and swaEger Of his native heath, tho BoWery,
chung perslstently to him. Mccullough spent the
entire afternoon putting him throuEh a. me oI rev. hS
had Bob at Least letter perfect IN MS part
Tlf AMIR lrfla
made Il with shoulder thrown forward and win
exact SPOT pointed out by Mccullough a. his stop
ping place the afternoon rehearsal h" nNed his
mser win sii'eTns eye y ana I9foi out! WHOSE nose
camp" rejoned Mccullough. "You'se camp" was
saxon On m with which Mccullough greeted tho IN
formation could be heard throughout the theatre.
JUST OFT OF THEM
lie had turn for a merry test. and so. when
the young woman behind the neckte counter H.
! enc Of the great department stores told him. in
answer 10 inquiry. that he could purchase anything
within its walls he promptly asked to he shown
Without hesitation or change Of countenance thu
salosgir replied:
"o6 hats 100 bad for We are Just out Of them,
| and Of family Jars as well
THEY HAD NONE OF IT
As he strolled into the restaurant ebon faced
walter drew back a welcoming chair for him at
convenient table After seating himself, he turned
to the grlnnng attendant with. well what can
Anything. sab" the reply.
what do you mean by anythngY he demanded
| Jest what says san anything al all"
Very well. then" said he. bring me some
| humming birds tongues on toast.
| without n word Of comment tho African serVitor
| picked NJ HE tray and departed.
In couple II minutes he returned and sadly sai1;
Use very sorry sab. but Dc cook msinforms me
dat is lust out Of toast
4 LESSON IL ENGLISH
a physician Of THE CITY recently got iffl' les-
son IN the use of English from German patient
| ~ ,hrr rTa v.qc
tho nationt "a ~ her history" in the way doctors
| do before diagnosing case I'm order 70 have SOLID
foundation for their Investigations. In the course
| Of his cross questioning he came 10 the matter ol
| the patients parents and asked 49,
| Are your father and mother alive YETI -
| Onita simply and naturally with the confidence
| that I'm following the Doctors form Of speech the
| correctness ~ her own English diom vac assured
| she answered;
| "Not yet,