davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-09-28
THE KAISER'S SERMON.
1t Put a Sailor to Sleep, But His
Royal HiEhness Let
Him on.

A good story about the kaiser comes
from Berlin. 1t is well known that his
majesty, through his annual trip on
board the Hohenzollern to the Nor
wegian fiords, is in the habit of con-
Quoting divine service every Sunday
morning. He usually reads a short
liturgy and follows the prayers with
a sermon, not of his own composition,
but from the collection of some WELL
known German divine. During a re-
leent trip the officers of the Hohenzol-
lern noticed that sailor, during di-
vine service, either overcome by the
heat or from some other cause, had
fallen fast asleep. Their CONSERVATION
was great, and they were relieved when
the imperial sermon came to an end
and the sailor wakened with a start.
A1ter the service the captain called
the sailor before him, gave him a sound
rating, and sentenced him to two days
arrest Now it happens that on Sun
day afternoons on board the Hohenzol-
fern 1t is the kaiser's custom to hear
the captain's report of the events of
the preceding week. If any sailor has
dlstlngulsh himself, the kaiser shakes
hahos WIN him or says a few kindly
WORDS; IL sailor has been punished
the KAISER hears the details. The cap
tam reported the incident of the Sleep
ing sailor anathe punishment inflicted
on him.
WAS he on the watch the night be-
fore?" asked the kaiser.
He was, your majesty
men let the Poor devil off. Besides.
1t WASH much Of sermon, anyhow"
Christian World.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-09-28
SOLD.

''That was the last crime 1 ever com.
mitted, or rather tried to commit, and
l still think planned the whole thing
remarkably well. It was simply and
solely due to a series of the most I'M
lucky circumstances that the scheme
didn't come off.
IF The Elms' hadn't been sold that
day the house agents son (for it was
he, found out afterwards) wouldn't
have been bringing along that con-
founded board; and if it hadn't been
such wet night the old thing wouldn't
have been done up in brown paper,
even although it had just been painted
and was hardly dry. And if it hadn't
been a ridged board-but, there, L
needn't go into all that; anyone can
see that the fiasco was in no sense my
fault.
Anyone but Clumber, that is. He
straightway dissolved partnership
with me, and a short time afterwards
made an attempt to burgle The Lin
dens' without aid. He didn't succeed
in getting the picture, but he did in
getting five years, and that is why, as
[ said at the beginning, I'm not sure
that in criminal enterprises the old
fashioned methods are, after all, any
sounder than the new."-Tit-Bits
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-09-28
SHE WILL MARRY A BRAHMIN.
Miss Virginia Tyler Hudson, a KEN
lucky Girl, Engaged to Wed a
wealthy East Indian.

Chicago, Sept. 24.-When Anand A.
Advani, a millionaire indigo merchant
of India, who has been in Chicago for
week, leaves for ST. Paul, Sunday, he
will carry with him the promise Of
Miss Virginia Tyler Hudson, well
known, especially in Louisville, as a
newspaper writer, for a marriage in
either Germany or London next June.
This is the first known instance Of q
Bramin seeking an American wife in
this country.
Mr.. Advani has been touring America
and Canada for pleasure, and came to
Chicago week ago.
He is the oldest SON of Ajeetsing Adj
vani, a millionaire banker of Bombay,
and liberal member of the council Of
that city.
Miss Hudson is the daughter of Rev.
d. T. Hudson, of Kentucky. She is q
direct descendant of President Tyler.
London will be their future home.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-09-28
scotIELD VERSUS Mckinley.
WiscOnsin's Republican Governor Is
Not in Accord with Inn
perialism.

Gov. Scofield, of Wisconsin, is not an
fmperialist. He is not in accord with
the recent declaration of President Nc,
Kinley. In his address at the Wisconsin
state fair Gov. Scofeld said: IF the
papers have quoted the president cor
rectly as saying that the Philippine is
| lands belong to this country by right of
purchase, and by this is meant that
when the insurrection is suppressed
these islands shall become part of the
United States territory, and if the pol
icy of the war while it is in progress is
to be shaped to that end, I believe a very
serious mistake may be made. do not
think that this country should attempt
to attach to itself territory thousands
of miles away and an alien race that it
would take centuries to amalgamate
with ours"
Proceeding, the Wisconsin governor
added: I've are under sacred obliga-
lions to those people growing out of the
progress of events up to this time, but
1 cannot believe that these involve the
attempted assimilation of a people and
territory with whom we have nothing
in common
This is exactly the position of leading
democrats and of a vast number of
thoughtful men in the republican party,
including Senator Hoar and ex-Speaker
Reed. We have had enough trouble
with colored race. The trouble is not
yet ended. 1t would be idiotic to bor-
row more trouble.
Gov. Scofield is radical republican
and has always appeared on the front
lines in party campaigns. But in sepa-
rating himself from the policy of Pres
ident McKinley's administration no
doubt he represents the opinions of
many republicans, though they are a
limited minority, in the state of which
he is chief executive.
Wisconsin is largely settled by Ger
man population. For many years past
the German voters have given their sup
port to the republicans on financial
questions. They opposed the local dem
ocratic adoption of a greenback plat
form 20-odd years ago, and they are
hostile to the silver platform of sixteen
to one. They are now arrayed against
Imperialism and the policy of establish
ing an American imperial colony in the
tropics on the other side of the globe.
In this respect they will find themselves
in harmony with Gov. Scofeld. But he
is not likely to be followed by the re-
publican party of that state, which will
adopt a platform supporting McKin-
ley's policy.
This is the democratic opportunity in
Wisconsin. When the Germans support
ed the democratic party on the school
question in 1890 George w. Peck, the
democratic candidate for governor, was
elected by 2S,32O majority. By the aid
of the German vote Grover Cleveland
had 6,544 majority in the state in 1892.
On a platform that will meet German
opinion on financial subjects and on i'm
perialism doubtless the democrats could
carry Wisconsin in 1900. - Chicago
Chronicle.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-09-28

nuciations of trusts. They beng re-
publicans, it would have been more APP
preciated by the democrats, and no
any politics which they might have
woven into their addresses.
"As democratic governor of DEM
ocratic state, / could not have made
anything else but talk from DEM
ocratic standpoint, and all this talk OF
republican governor of Iowa and the
republican attorney general of Indi-
ana, encouraged by the republican
press of st. Louis, about my violating
proprieties, is simply rot. do not go
to the republican governor of Iowa for
political advice or instructions along
any lines. The democratic governors
and attorneys general present told me
that they Endorsed every word con-
tanned in my address. Gov. Pingree OF
Michigan, being a republican, could
not indorse all the sentiments ex-
pressed by me, but said that he en-
joyed the address, and had no fault to
find with it; that he himself was in
the habit of speaking very plainly;
that he favored free speech, not only
in himself. but in everybody else. Gov.
Thomas of Colorado took no offense,
and was annoyed and embarrassed at
the unfair reports of the republican
newspapers and the charge that he left
because we had injected politics into
the conference.
THE Texas and Arkansas people
present were appalled, at the holiness
of the republican press of st. Louis.
many of them told me that they knew
now for the first time in their lives
how to sympathize with the Missouri
democrats in the fight they had to
make against republicanism for the
honest and clean government of Mis-
souri,.
'.The Worlds Fair executive commit
tee, the Business Mems league, the
Exposition association and other or
carnations of ST. Louis showered the
vititors with invitations of all charac-
tiers, and left nothing undone to make
their stay in the city pleasant from
the moment they arrived until they
departed. They will not soon forget
ex-Gov. Francis, Mr.. F. w. lehman,
Secretary Cox and others for kind
nesses and courtesies extended tc
them"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-09-28

anticipated, the matter wa. effected
without much difficulty.
''Then Joseph crept into the garden
of The Elms' (Which had just. been
transformed into The LindensO while
j kept watch without.
There were two risks we were bound
to incur; the caretaker might come out
of the house, which was lighted as on
the previous evening, or some one who
knew the houses might observe the
transposed gates.
stBut though two or three people
passed me none even glanced at the
gates. nor did the caretaker give any
sign whatsoever. And at last, just as
I heard the church clock striking the
half-hour, I saw what caused me to
hurriedly join my partner in the gar
den.
"'Now's the time I murmured,
hoarsely. The chap with the pictures
coming along. and he's alone. Get the
handkerchief ready
'Clumber nodded silently, and we
crouched down behind the hedge close
to the gravel path leading from the
gate to the house.
1.-THE mans footsteps came nearer
and nearer, and eventually he stopped
outside. There was a moments pause,
and 1 began to fear that for some rea-
son or other he was going to pass by,
and so avoid our trap after all. But,
no; another moment, and swinging
open the gate he strobe up the path
way.
What next ensued I need not de-
scribe. 1t is enough to say that Clum-
Der did his work noiselessly and in
simultaneously, and that in something
under so minutes we had borne our
prize in triumph to Liverpool street.
Fifteen hours later, having landed at
Antwerp, we stood with our luggage
awaiting the customs examination.
I'VE had never taken the picture
from its brown-paper covering, and had
certainly no wish to do so now. But the
customs officer insisted on looking into
every package, and, of course, it
wouldn't have done to oppose him. So
1 cut the string, undid the paper, and
exposed to view a handsome house
agents notice-board with a frame-like
ridge, the principal feature of which
was the word:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-09-28

On one occasion Lord Norbury. o.,
England, observed an attornsy Of jo,,L+-
full reputation prospecting in the dock
for business, and detercn;,o5 +o,,,,l,a
an example of him. Just as the attorney
was climbing over the rails of the dock
into the court his lordship called ont:
"Jailer, one of your Prisoners is es-
Gaping. Put him back"
Back the attorney was thrust and
the following colloquy ensued:
My lord, there is mistake here. I
am an attorney"
Il am very sorry, indeed" said Lord
Noroury. Ito see one of your Profession
in the dock"
But, my lord. am inaocent."
"Yes. they all say that" was the
judges reply. "A jury of your own
fellow-countrymen must settle it,
but, my lord" exclaimed the now
desperate man, "there is no indictment
against me-
Then" said his lordship. You VIII
be put back, and if no one appears to
prosecute, you will be discharged Dy
pubic proclamation at the end OF the
assizes."
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-09-28
RIDING ON THE HAY.

D. gliding in palace car is pleasant all
the time,
And rolling on a tally-ho is just about
sublime,
But put me on load of hay along with
Annie Brown,
And you may have the finest coach there
is in all the town.
seem so when
I close my eyes to think about those happy
days again,
When 1 was running barefoot in a hat with
half a crown,
And little trousers bravely patched, along
with Annie Brown.
There in the fragrant meadows where the
men were making hay,
And birds were sweetly singing, to the
hedges we would stray
And find the ripest black-caps. would
pull the bushes down
So not to let the briars scratch my sweet
heart, Annie Brown.
A calico sunbonnet nearly hid her laugh
ing face:
A mother-made bib-apron couldn't hide
her fairy grace;
But never any princess in a royal siken
gown
Could look to me so lovely as my darling
Annie Brown.
We gathered .'black-eyed susans" and
bright daisies IN the lane,
And then within a nest of hay we wove
them in a chain,
And when our fingers touched ! felt as
bashful as clown,
Because-the birds all knew It'll loved lit
tie Annie Brown.
Gay butterflies were fitting where the wild
rose was in bloom;
The new mown hay had filled the air with
sweetest of perfume;
White cloud ships sailing in the blue were
chasing shadows down
But all the beauty 1 could see was little
Annie Brown.
AT last the load was ready and old Uncle
Hiram cried:
Come, tots, Don't keep us waiting, if you
want to have a ride
Away We flew across the field. / never
showed a frown,
Although the stubble hurt me. for loved
sweet Annie Brown.
High on the hay and hand in hand fol
fear that one might fall,
And decked with daisy chains, we took
that dearest ride of all,
And from our perch we saw the lake and
steeple in the town,
While no wild bird sang sweeter than my
playmate Annie Brown.
Too soon we reached the old red barn with
big doors opened wide,
And holding tight and bending low we
through them drove inside,
And then, o joy! / stole a kiss and, blush
ing, clambered down
To catch right in my chubby arms my
precious Annie Brown.
Twas long ago-I know it-but it doesn't
seem so when
close my eyes to dream about that hap
piest day again:
And oft 1 make pilgrimage back to my
childhoods town,
To see where oEce upon the hay / rode with
Annie Brown.
H. c. Dodge, in Chicago Daily Sun.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-09-28
OPINIONS AND POINTERS

Mckinley is reported to have de
termined that Otis shall stay at Manila.
But the people are in no wise deter
mined that Mckinley shall stay at
Washington.-Chic Democrat.
The democrats need not worry
about the outcome of the next presi-
Dental campaign. just give the re-
publican imperialists rope enough and
they will hang themselves. = Illinois
State Register.
The Sulu sultan is said to desig-
nate President Mckinley His High
Mightiness of the Rising Sum-" His
high mightiness pays his annexed
polygamous and slaveholding majesty
the subsidy; but the American tax
payer has to raise the wind.-Albany
Argus.
Senator Hanna was a very sue.
cessful boss for a short time, but he
ran the business too hard and made
too early an exhibition of all his meth
DDS. He has not that prominent quail
ity that enables a man to sustain him.
self as a director of politics through the
year. He is not satisfied to win with
out having it always appear that he is
the inspiration of victory. He is con-
stantly making display of his owner
ship of the patronage.-Cincinnati En-.
quirer.
1T is said that Secretary Gage.
who knows the absolute emptiness OF
TIE administration financial policy,
ard who was reported to be thoroughly
opposed eight years ago to the absurd
tiles of the protective system, should
be WOE over by mess of pottage also
to the defense of imperialism and Ingo-
ism, and all the other constitutional
heresies with which the administration
is beguiling the people under the guise
of patriotism in order to gain the votes
of honest but supplemented citizens
who love their country - Pittsburgh
Post.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-09-28

hsHRIMINALS,' said my friend James
Rotherby, on one of those rare
occasions when he allowed himself to
refer to "past" which was not entirely
creditable; Criminals are divided into
two classes very much like other people.
There are those who believe in sticking
to the old-fashioned methods, and those
whose taste lies in the direction of inno-
walton and reform-conservativ and
liberals, so to speak. Joe Clumber, for
instance, chung tenaciously to the views
he had inherited from father in the
same line of business, and couldn't see
beyond the jimmy and the life-pre-
server, and so forth. l, on the other
hand, perhaps because I'd merely drift
ed into crime and hadn't been born to
it, shrank from the use of such nipple
ments, and preferred stratagem to vio-
lence. And, in spite of what I'm about
to tell you, I'm not going to admit that
I was altogether wrong"
He paused, slipped his whisky and wa
ter, gave short laugh, and proceeded.
well, you see, Clumber and hadn't
had much luck for long time, when
one day 1 happened to spot an advertise
ment of big picture sale to be held IN
Bond street the same afternoon.
showed the newspaper to Joe, and after
some discussion it was arranged that
should go, on the off chance OF getting
wind of something to our advantage, as
they say. Accordingly, L dressed my
self in suitable toys and went, having
told Clumber 1 should expect good
feed when returned at six. Joe, may
mention, never took odd jobs requiring
a swell get-up. Frock coats and light
kids didn't become him, and he knew his
limitations.
but Joe did understand how to cook
a niece of steak to turn, and couldn't
find any fault with the meal awaiting
me when 1 got back from the sale. On
the contrary, / enjoyed it so much that
it was some minutes before l could
spare time for conversation. Then
said, magnanimously:
Now, Joe, I'll crafty your curl,
.osity:'
Its about time you did, grunted
INV partner; but ignoring the observa-
ton, continued:
.s.Most of the things sold to-day were
more or less rubbish, but there was one
-uuite a small picture, about three
feet by two feet-that went for 5000.
..Clumber's eyes sparkled. Three
thousand quid?' he echoed.
"sYes. 1t was Gainsborough.'
"a what?'
ga Gainsborough. That's the name
of the painter, you know
"sOh-well?
Jewell, Joseph, do you think if we
could get hold of that picture, the re
.ceiyer, or fence, as you call him, we've
dealt with before would take it off Oul
hands?'r
".Do you mean the Antwerp bloke ?
"sYes.'
.He'H take most things. We might
try him.
awe might; for we've just got money
enough to pay our fares, and the trip'e
do us good, Ell, Joe?'
.sBut amt this all little previous
Rotherby? We amt got the picture
vet, ave we?'
Not yet, certainly, but Ipaused
and added, impressively: 4 know
who's bought 1t, and when it's going Il
be sent to his house. I managed to over
hear what he said to the auctioneer''
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-09-28
visited by am Earthqualxe.

Constantinople, Sept. 25.-The dis
trict of Adm, in Asia Minor, was visit
ed by an earthquake on September 20
and, according to the latest adyices,
over two hundred persons persisted. .
The chief cities of the valayetor prov
ince of Adm, are Smyrna, its capital.
Maneesa and Adm. The city of Adm
is about so miles southeast of Smyrna.
1t is the residence of pasha and the
focus of fiourishing trade in grain,
carpets, figs, opium and sponges.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-09-28
Amnlx Cnmnefent.

"Help. help." cried the man who was
being relieved of his valuables-
Calm yourself, my friend, SAID tne
easy-going footpad, Il can take care Oh
this job without any assistance. -onio
State Journal.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-09-28
New York Carpenters tn strike.

New York, Sept. 24.-Strikes of car
penters. affecting in all, it is estimat-
ed, about $500 men, and which may In
volye many thousands of men in other
branches of the building trades In
sympathetis strikes. will be ordered at
once, to enforce the demand OF the
rorpenters' union for wages Of "a .
dav. and Saturday half holiday.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-09-28
GOV. ROOSEVELT I'm OHIO.
New YorI<'s Executive Goes tn Help
Open the Republican Campaign
mt Akron. q.

Open the Republican Campaign
mt Akron, O.
Cleveland, o., Sept. 24.-Gov. Roose-
welt of New York arrived here from
the east, en- route to Akron, where he
will be present at the opening of the
republican campaign. The governor
was met at the station by a committee
Rom the Tippecanoe club, and escort
ed to Hollenden hotel, where he took
breakfast. After an informal recep-
ton, during which many shook hands
with the New York executive, he left
for Akron on a special car, accompa-
MED by Senator Hanna and large
party of friends, the Tippecanoe club
acting as escort.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-09-28
Some republican organs Il

-oUHIS e PuDIIC1lI OI CAMS tIIIIIh
they are having fun in recommending
Aguinaldo for second place on the DEM
ocratic ticket. They might consistently
support the sultan of Sulu as their own
candidate for vice president, running
gith Mckinley on platform of inn
perialism, polygamy and slavery
Concord On. H. People and Patriot.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-09-28
The president has been unfort

The president has been unfortu-
nate from the first in the class of men
who have exercised the part of advisers
about him. His friend from Ohio and
his first secretary of war, so different
in character from the men whom the
president has called into diplomatic
service, have been types of political
leaders that can never have the conf
dence of the people. The presidents
pledge-breaking civil service order ,
which offended every independent and
religious journal in the country, in adj
dition to the leading republican jour
nails, under other circumstances, would
have given to rival a strong issue.
The presidents timorous and slow-go-
ing methods in dealing with Alger and
Eagan and Carter have done him no
credit, and might give the opposing
party much campaign capital.-Provi-
Hence Journal Qnd. Rep.).
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1899-09-28
DEWEY ANTI-IMPERIALIST.
The Admiral Holds Views Which Are
at Variance with the Nc
kinley Policy.

The New York Tribune says that 1.-The
lnti-imperialists are not likely to ask
for place in the Dewey procession, but
may get up one of their own, carrying a
wax figure of Aguinaldo in front, with
Atkinson bringing up the rear and dis
tributing pamphlets
We should like to know why the anti
imperialists might not ask for place
IN the Dewey procession? The attitude
of Dewey in reference to the Philippines
is all that the anti-imperialists could
ask. 1t is in line with the ideas of our
two living ex-presidents, Harrison and
Cleveland, and in line with our best
craftsmanship. 1t is in harmony with
the desires of millions of our citizens
who want to preserve this republic as
our forefathers established it and hand
it down to future generations with its
record unsullied by war of conquest.
Dewey emphatically opposes imperi-
alism when he says: Rather than
make war of conquest on this people
I would up anchor and sail out of the
harbor." Again he said in an inter
view which has not been denied:
at have never been in favor of violence
TOWARDS the Inc lSldIOS are at
this moment blockaded by fleet, and war
reigns in the interior. This abnormal state
of things should cease. 1 should like to see
autonomy first conceded, and then annexa-
ton might be talked a"out. This is my
opinion, and 1 should Ike to see violence
at once put stop to- According to me, the
concession of self-government ought to be
the most just and the most logical solu-
ton
Is there anything in these remarks
that does not appeal to the hearts of the
anti-imperialists? Isn't that the doc
trine that the anti-imperialists have
been preaching right along? Why
should not the anti-imperialists march
in the Dewey procession if they choose?
The anti-imperialists are the only ones
who believe in Dewey's theory of treat
ing the Filirinos.
But what shall we think of Roosevelt
and other ''bloody brides officials
marching behind Dewey? They have
been calling the people who believe as
Dewey does traitors" And now they
propose to be the chief worshipers of
the most distinguished anti-inperialist
of all.-Utica Observer.