Evening star., 1899-06-03
WORDS OF WISDOM WASTED

NO" saidf the ppnderous, heavyj jawed
man, as he stepped into a chair In a bar
Der shop off his regular beat, Il don't think
We are making a mistake in dealing with
the F'ilipinos this way or that way. I
haven't any thinks whatever on the sub
ject. 1 don't think If Germany is sore on
US I'm sorry, but can't help it. If Can
ada wants hunk of Alaska she can have
it, for all of me. I'm not hunting for trou-
BILE, but peace. The weather is getting
bit warmer. for fact, but the fact that
carry considerable fat does not, as you
efroneously suppose, cause me TO despise
hot weather. On the contrary. L like it.
haven't tried DR.. whadycucallem's reduc-
ton pills, and don't intend to. They may
be good and great for the purpose. hut
don want 'em. People are as You say,
beginning to leave the city for their sum-
mer vacations, but that doesn't worry me
q little bit. All the more room left for NE.
1 don't pay any attention TO base ball
scores any more. thanks. I've lived too
long in Washington for that No, / haven't
read that we've signed a new shortstop.
We've been signing new countsrfeits ever
since Job was a gosling. and the final re-
suit has always been the same L am not
posted about the census office examjna-
tions, and am not bunting for Information
on that subject. I'd like to see 'em all get
jobs. My beard is hard and coarse. l know
that I'm hard and coarse man, and If l
mad soft and fine beard I'd be 4 freak
I've been aware for some time that my
hair is thinning at the top, but thatl give
my brains a chance to cool off. The razor
coesnt hurt. l did read about Coney ISL
ana burning down, ana l was glad OF 1t
I've often felt like burning it down myself.
dont ride wheel and therefore L don't
know anything about the respective merits
OF wheels. l have heard that the Pres
ldent is getting stout. l don't know wheth-
er Bryan is going to stand on the l6-to-l
~ low. dr. hAtI
me a little bit. I haven't ridden on the
new electric line of cars. Maybe I'll go to
the Paris exposition, If the walking's good.
J haven't wasted any thought on the lynch
ings down south. The winner of the
Brooklyn handicap wasn't any kin of mine.
and so l didn't bet on the race. l don't
know whether the Cubans are jays or not
10 refuse those three millions. l did read
something about Queen Victoria going
blind. If they're going to give Dreyfus
new trial they'd better get move on,
that's all I've got to say about that. No, l
haven't got any personal grievance against
those two people for getting married 50
soon after one of them was divorced.
That's their own individual business, and
there's d whole lot too much busybodyng
In this country already, at that, without
my Joining the bunch of croakers. l
haven't a glimmering of idea whether
Roberts is going to get his seat in Con-
sress or not but l hope he does 1 haven't
read the newspaper discussion on the re-
moVal of warts. l don't want a close, but
just a clean shave. Perhaps the other bar
ber that shaved me last did shave against
the grain. With these few remarks, l beg
that yOull-'
At this point the boss barber stepped up
to the chair occupied by the ponderous,
neavy-jawed man, and said:
Beg your pardon for interrupting you.
sir, but you are wasting a lot of interesting
conversation. The barber who is shaving
you has Eeen deaf and dumb for the last
twelve years.
Then the ponderous. heavy -jawed man
leaned back, looking cheap and small, and
mutterins something about not icing so
darned funny as he thought he was.