Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1899-01-27
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SsA ~ Va enSS RA0
:a~lity. Star.
'sWonders will never cease. I just
Jaw a stone walk" "Pooh! That's
aothing. 1 have often seen a brick
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Times.
Miss Totling-"Miss Sincoe was born
With a silver spoon in her mouth" Miss
Dimling after a glance at the MOUTH
Observation-Disclosures Life.
First doctor-I've got to make a trip
cut Of town tomorrow. Second doctor
Business or pleasure? First doctor
Both. I'm going to operate on a wealthy
patient.-Life.
''This," said Mr.. Filter, sis a picture
If the only girl l ver loved" "How
.leverly," said Miss wyse, as she look
I'd at the portrait, "they do get up these
composite photographs"
stranger-Is your society here very
select? Arizona Al-See them graves
over thar? They was all filed by fellcrs
who came to u dances without invi-
misunderstanding Eagle.
You look dreadfully battered; how Is
hat:" "Wife has been pelting me with
lowers" "Why, that wouldn't mark
Tou in that fashion, ooh, they were
n the pots.''-London Judy.
what became Of Hyfiier, who made
30 much money manipulating stocks
asst year?' Hes still manipulating
stock. He's currying horses in a West
Side barn.''-Chicago Tribune.
Mistress (angrily)-"See, Bridget, I
AN write my name in the dust on this
Nantel-piece." Bridget (admiringly)-
There's notllin' like %cldication, after
Ill, is there, mum?'-Roxbury Gazette.
Mistress-"sarah. bow was 1t that l
saw you entertaining friends in the
kitchen again last night?" Sarah-
I'm sure l don't know, unless you
ooiied through the keyholc."-The
Windsor Magazine.
Mills-1 have great admiration for
he colors in the Spanish flag. Brills-
Wing so? Mills-Because they are the
,nly things in the Spanish army that
didn't run when our boys soaked EN-
New York Journal.
Jill-You puckcred up your lips so
then that l thought you were going to
kiss me-. Jack-No; l got some sand in
my mouth. Jill-Well. for heavens
sake, swallow it! You need it in your
system.-Troy Times.
Your mother seemed very much
amused at the little story l told last
night" lie said, self-approvingly.
YES" she replied. 'ever since l can
remember, mother has laughed when
.ver she has heard that story"
Did you End the snakes pretty thick
Town there?" Not very thick, but
some Of them were pretty long," "Oh,
You know what l mean! Were there
many round!'' "'Cylindricar would
De a better ord."-Boston Transcript.
First swell (prctending to mistake for
Z waiter q rival whom he sees standing
N dress clothes at the cloak-room Of the
theater)-Ah! have you a program7
Second swell Cup to snuf)-Thanks, my
man; l got one from the other fellow
Tit-Bits.
Cumso-Well, Cawker, did you name
-FOUR new baby George Dewey? Cawk-
EMO. Cumso-You told me that was
your intention. Cawker-Yes. Cumso-
Then why didn't you? Cawker-We de-
cidcd, upon second thoughts. to name
her Elizabeth.-Bazar.
Customer (severely)-'Do you sell
diseased meat here?" Butcher (bland.
;y-"Worse than that" CUSTOMER lex
.itedly)-"Mcrcy on us! How can that
be possible?" Butcher (confidentially)
-"The meat I sell is dead-absoluteiy
lead, SIR" Customer (s%heepishly)-
.Ohw-Tid-Bits.
"rluggcr's dramatic school is max
ing a winning, l hear" q" should
:ather guess. 1t is the most complete
plant for the manufacture of actors
,ver installed. Why, he even has q
hundred feet of genuine railroad tracks
% teach them the true dramatic Stride"
indianapolis Journal.
"Say, pa" qucried Willie, the other
morning while preparing his geography
lesson, chow many motions has the
>arth?" II don't know, Willie," re-
Piled the fond parent, as he bound a
towel soaked in icewater about his
throbbing brow; "but they're numcr-
,us, quite numerous."-Chicago News.
Say" said the bookkceper, address
ing the cashier, and winling knowingly
at the office boy, do you know any
thing about this stamp-tax"
Sure" replied the cashier; "what do
you want to know?" Suppose" con.
tinued the bookkeeper, "that I wanted
to express my opinion, would I have
to stamp the express receipt?" "Un-
doubleday" answered the cashier; "but
IL you will allow NC, l would suggest
that you forward your opinions by
NAIL" "And why by mail?" asked the
autocrat of the ledger. Because" re-
plicd the cashier, nj they have no
weight, it would he much cheaper."-
Chicago News.
This is Mr.. Pncer, Is 1t noty' "Ycs,
SIR" You have rented u house 'front.'
aA-.