The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1899-11-30
LOVE LETTER NO. TWO.
"ANNlE' S"REPLY TO"YOU Know"
PUBLISHED LAST WEEK.
An Expressive Missive Full OF Humor
the Two Must be Read Together to
| Properly Appreciate Them.

Properly Appreciate Them.
A correspondent of the Concord
Standard is the author OF the follow
ing answer to the love letter of You
Know, published last week.
DEAREST "YOU KNOw":-While
languidly sitting under the drop
pings of the twilight, and listeninS
to the melodious notes of a plaintive
Tom cat perched on the back fence,
what should receive but your own
dear letter, filled brimful with hon
eyed words coated over two inches
thick with sugar Of sweetness. l
can't find adequate words to promul-
gate my caloritice esoteric feelings,
as our dictionary is spending vaca-
ton abroad; but, oh. your letter
was trcat-better than a rural
pedagogue's treat the last day OF
school. 1t was chock full of the very
uuintessence of double distilled
sweetness, with large vein of deli
cious, honey-dripping love running
all through it, and sticking out in
places, like small boys head from
a window of the school house when
the circus or load of early water
melons passes by. [ was charmed
by the quaint style of humor oozing
out from your unique epistolary dis
sertation; and while Eliminating like
an unsophistictated goat on the
county-seat Of old pair of pantaloons,
my heart unconsciously capt. ulated
to YOUR elastic affections which had
surrounded it like the rubber cover
of base ball in the bottom Of an
old-fashioned frog pond. l love yor
harder than softboiled egg; my
heart leans out toward you like ;
dumping or fried tlap-jack toward
the canine cavity of hungry dog,
gone it. My love is stronger thar
the city police or boarding-hous'
butter. How | long to be with you
and bask in the moonlight of YOU
regal smiles, on dark night, afte
the old folks have retired and thu
light burns low.
Your precious eyes are like COLDER
stars of promise peeping out through
free-silvery clouds of national dis
aster. Your nose, never having
poked itself into other peoples bust
ness, has had ample opportunity t
grow, and has most wonderfully AM
fearfully illustrated the principles o
..expansion.n The incipient mus
tache, which sits under the dropping
of your blossoming nose, is soft AM
| nd n
some great event which has failed t.
occur. 1t shelters large, swee
mouth which laugheth at fear an
sputeth out immense discharges O
the liquid extract of borrowed chew
of tobacco, like melted lava from tn
turbulent mouth of an atfectionat
volcano. A bountiful harvest o
auburn hair overshadows your elias
sic forehead like a brush arbor owe
camp meeting. Your benignan
smile is like gentle ripple on tn
surface of a national lake Of home
spun molasses; and the odor of you
spicy breath brings back fond recol
lections of the fragrant smelliticatiol
of odoriferous Limburger cheese
Your ruby Ii ps with honey drips
They are like twin bulls which arts
in the morning, paw and below the
| ground, and butt each other into tn
middle of next week. Tons Of succu
lent kisses are smeared about owe
| the suburbs of your roseate face lik
| soap-grease on the interior of lart
jar filled with peas. Little cupids arr
| picking about over your classic coun
tenance, and the thrilling melody o
your stentorian voice is unequaled by
ANYTHING other than that which
| issues from an up-to-date frogpont
| after a summer shower.
One wee smack of your luscious
rubicund lips is worth a whole hogs
head of the nectar which Jupiter
sips and swig O. cider to boot
While resting my unworthy head or
| your manly breast, with arms en-
circling your compact neck like a
weary pumkin vine around an old
| stump, | am as near Utopia and the
capital of the county as when gulping
down the products of an ice-crean
factory, or disputing with the hired
man as to how long dead hen lays
Before receiving your letter, life tc
me was dreary Greenland over,
grown with ice-covered lichens OF
| affectic nal Indifference, but now it is
tropical Africa with the mosquitoes
all transported to Siberia. The
translucent flint Of your heart struck
the Opaque steel Of mine, and myriad
scintillations touched the powder Of
my affections and complexion, and s
lively explosion blasted away the
rocks Of indifference, and unearthed
| glorious fountain of blissful love
growing up as calves of the stall.
am most felicitously happy to inform
you that | do most assuredly re
ciprocate and return your affections
in a neat little package, postpaid
| l enclose half dozen kisses for you
These should be kept in dry place
| to keep them from sticking together
| Write Immediately or sooner, if yol
can, and next Sunday evening shall
sit on your knee as usual; and be
lieve me to be, your own little pet
ANNIE.