The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1899-09-24
AN UNCONSCIOUS HUMoR1sr.
[Ainslee's Magazine.l

f1au IguWHTu NOSeS w eSlGotl NOT rel
ished a funny story, David Harumn
would not NOW be making America laugh
from ocean to ocean. Rustic folks al
ways appealed to hinlthe funny side of
them. He was especially fond of telling
of the people who lived near SkaneatC-
les Lake. particularly of certain hotel
keeper at Glen Haven, at whose house
Mr.. Westcott and his family Often stay
ed in summer time.
This mans table lapsed into such
condition that no ONE could look upon
the viands and eat thereof. The guests
complaints slipped innoclGusly from the
landlords back because of his impene-
trable conceit. His constant and irri-
tating brag was to the effect his hotel
was cine of the best kept and most lux
trious in the country. Vt pleased GER
tain guests, Including the Wescotts, to
stay there, ard SO plan was init upon TO
better it's matters All would club to-
gether and send the self-slatisded land
lord on little journey into the word,
SO that he might be educated into rea,iz-
ing what a good hotel should be. While
he was gone the guests ate with paf!cdee
the stale tanned food, knowing THE time
OF deliverance was at hand. tamatly the
man returned from ms "trip, and was mel
hy an expectant throng on the piazza.
which seemed to be saying breathleSsly,
WenT'
"Wa-al." said their host, thrusting his
hands deep i'll trousers pockets and teet-
ering on his toes. I've ben away, Eve
hen to yer Firth Avenue Hotel, I've ben
To YER Thousan' Islands, and all the rest
OF en-; but | can tell you what III bet
this is the only hotel from Maine to
Gcorgy wher you ken get seven kinds of
ME fen dinner!" And so saying, he puff.
ed h!nlself still larger with impregnahle
concet and the crcstfallen boarders went
back to their mtSks.
Children, with his own, and all 9th
ers he regarded with a tenderness in.
termixed with the awe that comes from
an utter failure to comprehend. lie
felt keenly the responsibility of father
hood but also felt his hand stayed from
timorousness because of the injustice Of
having caused their being. The death
of his wife left him i'm q condition OF
helplessness until his sister assumed the
place of mother TO the three growing
children. or the youngest. Philip he
once said, 'FI'he dear child is rs peril
nacous as n fly in his inquiries. | had
no idea child could ask so many ques-
tions. and find it easier to settle munl-
cipal affairs than to give an answer TO
sucn questions as, Papa, nalst l Wear
my rubbersY or. Papa, how many app
pies may ! eat a dayT
In speaking again of Philip at the age
of nine or ten. he says Isl a letter. On
Sunday morning j get the spnall hoy
dressed and set him ON the straight and
narrow pathway, push him before me
down it's dreary way to church seryice,
OF mother. Edward Moves Westcatt
said: ''She has a baby, a most persuil-
sive one, which permeates and colors Ter
conversation so that she sees adj things
through a baby darkly.' $50
AT one time he wrote: Il have come
to think that the thing / most desire
shall never have. so with supersti-
tious dread try to cheat fate by refrain
ing from setting my heart on anything.
lest ii escape me. 9g
Again he writes IF | were ten wears
yolinger''-that phrase was almost habit
lpal with hnrll--"I might find an interest
in flowers here" Asheville. April. 1894
'sbut all the flowers that have cared for
or ever snail. bloomed long ago. IL there
glad and thankflrl--and God bless the
person who keeps 1T for my sake.
But what is consistency? 1t is mere.
" living up to others conception of our
natural course of conduct. We say If
one: Wen. he is the last person
should ever have Thought would do
that whereas the mental progress or
retrogresgsion of that man. going on
80 Il Ii Il III lner IlNY RI.
the sequence SO unexpected TO others
Now what could you expect of me! ne
surplemented whimsically. "a man whose
name is No--Yes," and then he laugh
cd in the seif-humorfng way of one who
repeats a joke oft told before. Look
Mt my hands, too he added, holding
them ont frankly for inspection, zone
* strong. we'll developed, capable; lie
other is almost effeminate. Could any
thing be more inconsistent
Heaven is full of days. all coming this
way!" lie wrote this once in birth
day book opposite his own date. Sep
tember "a, with an air of victory and de
fiance of the future-although such
moods were rare.
He was more prone to say, "Let us
enjoy ourselves, and let nothing get
away, for when we are dead, we are so
very Dead and then would follow a
gentle laugh Mt his own philosophy
.sYou are old enough to know better"
is the way friend once reproached
him.
Old enough to know better" ne re-
peated, "are we ever old enough for
thatg"
OF death. ne said:
death is a hard fact to face and does
never look like our imag:nings. Tears
will overflow philosophy. All love in
wolves and ends in Them; but we weep
fer the most part, and, in one view CT Ut,
always for ourselvs.'
1.-THE MAN WITH THE HOE"