The times., 1899-03-06
AGUINALDo's MISTAKE.
Mr. DooIe, Thinks Ec Didn't Hear
the Whistle Blow.
hrnm lI,.- Cmclso Journal.l

Hrom ,lr, Chicago Journal)
We'll. sir. said Mr.. Dooley, lit looks
now as il they WAS nothing left for me
young frnd AEgynaidOo 10 do but time
Like as moi year FIRM no~ he'll be IN
Jail. like Napoleon. tn ImproT iy III
Fr-rinch. was in his day. an Mike the
Burglar an other pathritss. That's what
comes iv bein' a pathrite too long. 'Tis
good job whin they Sc nawthin else TO do.
but It's not tn thing to wu-ruk overtime
at -Tis a sort iv out-iv-duTe spoort that
ye shud engage Ia durin the summer yaca-
tion, but whin man carries it on durin
business hours people begin to get down
Cn him, an after awhile they're ready to
hang him 10 get him out iy tn way. As
Hogan says. Tn las thing that happens 10
pathrite he's 4 scoundhrel-'
Las summer there wasn't a warmer
pathrite anywhere in our imperial do
miniOns thin this same Aggynaldoo. ! was
with him mcsilf. Says /: 'They'se a good
coon ! says He'll help US fT to make
III Philippians indipindant on us f'r sup
port | says an whin tn hlessin's il
civilization has been cNtndcd TO his be-
loved country an | says. they put up
intarnal riviuue offices an postoftices l
says. wen give him a good job a let
ter carrier. / SAYS. where he won't have
anything to do ! says. but walk, ! says.
An so III Consul at Ding Dong. tn
man that r-run that ind iv III war, he says
10 Aggynalddo Go he says where glory
waits ye.' he says. Go an sthrike blow
he says. f'r yre country. he says. Co
he says. I'll stay. but you go he says.
'They'sc naNthin in sthayin an ye might
get hold iv tyrannical watch or pocket
book down beyant' he says. An OFF wint
III brave pathrite to do his joOty. He
done it. too. Win Cousin George was
pastin' tn former hated CASTLES who was
b CHI in, hi hpNr an
arrow into III sky but AggyRaldoo? Whin
me frnd Gin'ral Merritt was ladin' Il gal
liant charge again blank cartridges who
was it ranged his noble ARMY iv path
rites behind him f'r 10 see that no wan
attacked him fr'm III SEA but Aggy-
naldoo; He was good man thin-a good
noisy man.
The thrubIle was he didn't know
whin 10 knock oil. He didn't
hear til wurruk bell calm him
10 come in firm playin bail an get
down to business. Says me Cousin George
Aggynaldoo, me buck, he says. III war
IS over he SAYS. an we've settled down
TO tn oil game. he says. They're no
more heroes. All iv thin has gone to
wurruk fr th magazines. They're no more
pathrites. he says. They've got jobs as
gov'nors or ar-re lookin' fr thin or any
thing else he says. All III prom mint
saviors iv their country he says. but
mcslf. he says is busy preparn' their
deflnce, he says. 1 have no defnce. he
says, but I'm where they cant reach me-
h. says. Til spoort is all out iv tn job
an II We don come in an jinc tn tillin'
masses iy wage wurrukrrs. he says 'ye
wont even have III credit iv bein licked
in a gloryous yichtry he says. so to
IN wood pile with We. hr says. -f'r ye can't
80 on ciliybra1in' tn Foorth iy July with
out bein' took up f'r disorihly conduct
he SAYS.
An Aggyanldoo doesn't understand it,
An he gathers his archery club ar-round
him an says he: Fellow pathrites. he
says. we've been betrayed he says.
We've been sold out without he says.
gettin' III usual commission he says.
We're still heroes he says. an our pitch
ers is in tn paspers. he says. Go in
he says. an sthrike q blow at tn gay de-
ceivers he says. IN sell ye're lives dear
he says. An III archery club wint in
Tn pathrites went up again a band iv
Kansas soiers, thai was wapst heroes be-
fure they larned tn hay ot-sthra " foot,
an is now aTnin Tn wages iy a good
harvest hand all m year ar-round an d
rather fight than ate tn ARMY beef. an
" know what happened. Some iv IN poor
divv!es IL heroes is liberated firm tn cares
iv lie. an III r-rsst IL thin is up in
4nrees an wishin' they was home smokiu'
= good seegar with mother
An all this because Aggynald0o didn't
hear IN whistle blow He thought tn
boom was still on in ID hero business if
he'd come in ye'd he hearin' that James
Hatch AEgynaldoo'd been app'inted
foorth-class postmaster al Hootchy-Koot-
chy. but now tn mex We know iv him II be
'a IN blotter at tn polls station James
Hatch. carryin' concealed weepins an ray
sisiin an officer Pathritism always dies
wnin ye establish polls foorce"
Well. said Mr.. Hennessy, I'm kind IL
sorry :'r n Ia-ads with IN bows-an, n,-ar-
iows- Maybe they think they re pathrites ''
-Divy!e tn bit iv difference il makes
what they think so long as we don't think
50, said Mr. Dooley. It's what Father
Kelly calls q case iv mayhem ct chew EN-.
That's Latin. Hinnissy an it names what $
wan mans food is another mans pizen.'