The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1899-12-22
AtEGDOTE
NND
lNeg!pEN7r

On one occasion the Prince Of Wales
visited a Hindoo school In Madras. The
youngsters had been drilled Into the
propriety Of saying Your royal high
ness" should the prince speak to them.
and when the heir-apparent accosted
bright-eyed lad, and, pointing to a pris-
matte compass, asked, ''What Is thlsT
the youngster, all in a futter, replied;
tits royal compass, your prismatic
highness."
Robert Hilliard, the actor. brought
young Engllshwoman to see "El Capt.
tan" She was much impressed with
De Wolf Hopper, and remarked: What
charming man your Mr.. Hopper Is.
Tell me, is he marriedT "Been mar
ried three times" was the reply. Three
times" she repeated; "and they are all
dead7' "No," was the answer; "di-
vorced." "Ahr' she rejoined, II see;
he is a Grass Hopper"
A young lady, who had greatly en-
joyed John KendrIck Bangs House
boat on the Styx," thought 1t only Just
to write few lines expressing her de-
light. She ended her letter with: II
did so much enjoy your 'Houseboat on
the Sticks" Mr.. Bangs politely an
swered: Dear Miss: If you have stud
led mythology, and without doubt you
have. you will realize that considering
the ungodly heat where those StyX are
supposed to be located, 1t would be I'm
possible for them to support the house
boat until my lines were finished. Yours
truly, ]. X. b."
The late Hall McAllister some years
ago entertained visiting scientist at
the Union Club, before its amalgama-
tiOn with the Pacific, and during the
evening-a particularly foggy one
made some whimsical remark convey
ing the idea that fog was an excellent
conductor of sound The scientist took
exception to this novel theory and asked
Mr. McAllister on what 1t was based.
"0n phenomena which we have all OBJ
served" returned the ready jurist; ION
an evening like this we hear the fog7
horn quite distinctly, but when there is
no fog we cannot hear 1t at ALL"
An Iowa judge recently related an
amusing incident that had occurred in
his court when a colored man was
brought up for some petty offense. The
charge was read, and as the statement,
"The State of Iowa against John
JONES'" was read In loud voice, the
colored mans eyes bulged nearly out of
their sockets, and he seemed overcome
with terror and establishment When
he was asked If he had anything to say,
or pleaded guilty or not guilty, he
gasped OUT well, yo' honah, eff de
whole State o. Iowa is agin this one
pore niger, Use gwine to give up right
now"
An English police inspector being In
formed that hotel-keeper was serving
game out of season, visited the restau-
rant In plain clothes and ordered dinner:
Waiter, partridge for me-" The inspec-
tor finished his dinner leisurely, and
then said to the waiter: ASK the pro-
pIlCloI " slcp tulS way lHluule.
what for?" II wish to notify him to
appear in court tomorrow and answer
for selling partridge out of season. I
am a police officer and have secured
the necessary evidence against him."
Waiter-"It wasn't partridge you had"
Police Inspector (uneasily)-What was
1t theng Waiter (cheerfully)-"CroY."
The inspector swooned.
Dlsraeli, 1t is said, laughed only once
In the House of Commons. Gladstone
had made an impassoned speech In
favor of the union Of Wallachla and
Moldavia. Dlsraeli pointed out that the
result would be the extinction of the
independence Of these people, and the
only thing left would be the remorse
(which would be painted with admira-
BILE eloquence by the rhetorician of the
day." In reply, Mr.. Gladstone said that
he would not be guilty of the affected
modesty Of pretenting to be ignorant
that that designation, "the rhetorIcian
Of the day." was intended for himself.
Mr.. Disraeli interrupted with the re-
mark: II beg your pardon; really did
not mean that" Gladstone's face ex-
pressed amazement and Indignation,
and Disraeli sat down with a satisfied
smile that told of his enjoyment.