Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-04-14

ladder goin up the mast, maxim fun
of Sally Jane
johnson put on his devils clothes
and he was lawful. The clown and
Smith got into the helephant. for the
clown wanted something to do, and
with big burst of red and green light
we opened the cabin door and out
pranced the devil and the helephant.
''Some of the pirates leaped over
board when they see the devil, but most
of 'em stood their ground until they
see that there helephant take arter
that Henglish-speakin' pirate, climb
right up the ladder arter i'm. and
knock i'm off the cross-trees. Then,
with yelis of wild fear, they took to
their boats and few for 'ome."
MY first and only experience with
eastern pirates" said the book agent.
Selling books to the pirates?' asked
the Rhode Islander who had been in
the French navy. ''Sunday-school
books. suppose"
81 was selling books. 1t was the
Lives of the Three Mrs. Hudsons,'
which the board OF. foreign missions
recommended as an excellent thing
for eastern trade. But as the heather
hardly ever read more than the title
they imbibed the idea that Rev. Ge-
hosaphat Hudson was polygamist,
and so contracted an erroneous opin-
ion of Christianity. In the end I was
ordered to stop selling the books, and
was left stranded in Siam.
az naturally began to look about for
some way of>making money. 1t wasn't
long before I hit. on scheme. It was
to smuggle lot of fine diamonds into
the United States. Diamonds are cheap
in Siam, which is one of the principal
diamond countries of the world, and,
by avoiding the 33 per cent. revenue tax
on 'em I would make big profit on
'em in the United States.
Eve purchased a peck of uncut dia
monds and few quarts of rubies and
emeralds, and disposed of them around
inside collection of stuffed birds, and
snakes in alcohol, and plaster-of-paris
images of heather gods, made by the
merchants oldest boy on Saturday.
Then we chartered a schooner. and,
with six Lascars and one American be-
side myself, set sail for America.
eve had kept our doings a secret,
though the merchant had told his wife,
and, as we left the land, I didn't sup
pose there was a person in the king
dom of Siam outside of his family who
knew anything about our little
project. But to fool anybody who
might think our vessel was too lightly
loaded, the hold was full of empty
boxes and barrels.
but we hadn't gone far from land
when I discovered that the merchants
wife had blabbed; for Ga of the empty
barrels contained pirates They had
Struggled themselves aboard at the
wharf-an old trick of eastern pirate
and, as soon as we were away from
land, out they swarmed; tore open all
the stuffed birds, drank the alcohol
the snakes was in, ripped open the
snakes, smashed the heather gods, and
got the peck of diamonds and the sew
era1 quarts of rubies and emeralds.
1.-The crew and / were expecting to
be killed every minute, but the pirates
were only common 1and-thieyes, who
didn't know anything about running
a ship, and so they didn't. dare kill US.
They gave us orders to bout ship and
land them at little village on the
coast, and then we could go where we
pleased. We were about to do this
when we perceived an American man
of-war not far away.
''In spite of our efforts. however, the
man-of-war overlook us and sent two
boats crew aboard. 1 was scared as
could be, but was quickly relieved by
seeing those pira tes swallow the dia-
monds and other precious stones. The
sailors carefully searched the vessel.
but there was nothing wrong, besides,
- i, l. L. f-,- Il I,
a. crew of eight, and this one had ~
aboard. It wasn't the one they were
looking for, so they went away anu We
were out of danger.
''While we had been running away
from the man-of-war, we had gone so
far that the pirates had lost all reck-
oning of where we were, so instead Of
turning around. we just waved a little
and went on, my project being to put
in at some port in the East. Indies and
turn the pirates over to the authori-
ties. But the pirate chief smelled a
rat.
60 It's about. time we saw land, isn't
it?" asked he, suspiciously.
"T reckon so,' said I and just then
I perceived a dim, blush cloud lying
low on the southern horizon. That
looks like land dead ahead said L.
$50 it does said the pirate with
relieved sigh. I was beginning to think
you were playing a, trick on US and
were going south instead of north
Il was glad that the chief had caused
me to notice the cloud, for I could see
that a big storm was brewing. AS it
was. we didn't get the sails in any too
soon. In half an hour we were in
regular typhoon, and the schooner was
dancing and jumping like mad In no
time at all those poor landlubber pi-
rates were deathly sick, and the chief
and couple of others rushed to the
8; a. of the Vessel The he a nd :