The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1899-03-02
III RNEp THE TABLES.
A STORY CT ARTEnUS WARD AND
HENRY j. BYRON

The Fnmoua Nit started In 10 Have
some Fun With the Drnmati.t. hut |
Found In the End That lie Had Met
His Match Mt thniHnG.
What follows relates tn the ilrst
meeting of the late Henry J. Byron
and Artemus Ward. Ii was at the say
age club after one Of the Saturday din.
ncrs. and Tom Robertson suggested to
Artemus to have iItwith Byron aud,
II possible. draw him out. The genial
Snowman had only been in England a
few days. but he knew Byron's me
tier and went for INN in this fashion:
II fancy have seen "a face like yours
before. Did you ever have brother
Alonzo:" ROBERTSON was behind Ar,e-
mus and winked at Byron.
Alas, l had replied the drama
tist. instantly catching the situation.
He was "A mariner. engaged On the
deep
That's SO.
"You haven't heard Of him for five
years
Byron affected to be lost in reflection
and deliberately replied: Its five
years ago this very day. How curious
YOU should mention it. sir"
"Well, sir replied Artemus. taking
out his handkerchief and pretending to
wipe away Il tear II sailed the salt sea
with your brother. We were wrecked
together in the gulf of Mexico. and be-
fore help came | killed and ate him
The moment l saw you recognized the
likeness He was good fellow, full OF
tender feeling.
Il am glad you found him tender. '
interrupted Byron. also pulling out his
handkerchief.
But, sir. I am awfully sorry ate
him. said t.rtemus in the most imper
| tnrbable fashion. Had l known
should ever meet his brother am sure
I'd have gene without food some weeks
longer. But was driven to it, and you
will forgive me- won't you: l liked
Alouzo." and he offered his hand t.
Byron. which the latter shook with cor
dalitv.
Excuse my emotion, won't you:
yssped Byron in his handkerchief He
never wrote and told me what had be
come Of him. hope he agreed with
you.
"A slight indigestion afterward. HI
was n little tough" replied Artemus
but we'll not speak of that. We bott
suffered. He suffered most But renem
bcr, sir. the law can't touch me now
1t was stern necessity. and necessity. al
YOU may have heard. knows no law
But l am willing to pay you damages
for the loss. About what would 20,
think u fair compensnfion:
Don't mention it, " said Byron, wh'
now thought 1t time to turn the tables
II think your name is Ward: SAID he
Eyes"
"Artemus Ward:"
"Quite SO. ;"
lyon had father?"
II had."
"He was Yankee peddler in his OWL
country. was he not? Sold bug pizs'
: aud fine tooth combs:'
"You 80 hit the comb-I mean tn
nail-on tho head.
"He died in the black country G
England, did he nOt?'
HE did.
"Well. 1 killed him. I knew yc'
were his con the moment ] laid eyes o.
Won. He was . nice old gentleman. ant
/ made his acquaintance in Stafford
shire. He wished to 60 down dee
; coal mine; 10 did /. and We went dow
together, had q good time. explored
iunched with the miners, drank NOR
. than was good for us and proceeded t
return to Mother Earth's surface. Afte
YOU have been down . mine you ar
fond OF your mother. assure you. Tn
prodigai felt nothing 70 what expe
rieuced. We entered the huge baske
: and were being slowly drawn towar
the mouth Of the pit when saw tn
: old rope was about to snap under tn
s.r.in. Il was periloas = horrible.
,-;t;c.l moment. The weight oe ew