Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1899-08-10
HUMOROUS EXPERIENCES.
PARSONS LIFE IN ENGLAND HAS
ITS FUNNY SIDE.
Bishops Fashionable Life was Too Much
far the simple old Clergyman
from the Country--An EN-
barrassing Mistake.

from the Country--An Em-
barrassing Mistake.
once asked a district nurse how
the various sick cases had been going
on during my absence from the par
ish, says the Cornhill Magazine. AT
once the look which | knew so well
crossed her face but her natural pro.
fessional pride strove for the mastery
with the due righteousness which she
considered necessary for the OCCASION
AT last she evolved the following
strange mixture: 'Middling well, sir;
some Of ems gone straight to glory,
but am glad to say others are nicely
on the mend"
On another occasion a man who be-
longed to a workingmen's club in the
parish was telling me the strange his
tory of his life. He had been deserted
by his father and mother and more or
less dragged up by an old aunt who
had taken him In. From the age Of II
lie had had to fight his own battle and
uncommonly well he had fought it. l
could see how proud he naturally
enough was of his success. But IN
the midst of his Boosting he seemed
suddenly to realize that perhaps he
owed something to a higher power, or,
at least. he ought to say so; so he
went on: You see, sir, ave always
'ad to fend for mysen liver since | was
scrap of a lad"-then a pause
"leastwise. in course, wi bit o. 'elp
from tn Almighty" 1t was certainly
quantity put, but l believe genuinely
meant
Speaking Of the undue stress often
laid on little things, the local papers Of
our country towns are at times de-
lightful in this way. OF course, they
always contain full accounts of knife
and-fork teas held at the Fothering-
by-scum-Slce 81 Primitive Method
list New action Mission room,
with a cc.,l list of the 'teamak-
ers"-Miss 0. llyIaster I. Jones, the
Misses + L. tAdFEs Gmyths, etc, and
how the guest H&&Sry partook Of the
good fare kid 1lp &Esfided by Mr.. and
Mrs. Kni' ut, et-y ~ local paper, how
ever, which ! Happened to see the
other da. ,Tbassed itself in its
''News fro. 7 Village" | suppress
the name le village, but cannot
withhold I nature of the news.
1t ran somt nat as follows: Last
Thursday Mr.. Thomas -, farm la
borer, killed sow weighing stone.
She was, indeed a splendid specimen
Of the 'porcine' species; we are in
formed that in spite of her great size,
she was able to walk in and out of her
sty to the last"
An old clergyman who had held a
cure in the depths of the country for
the greater part of his life had oc
casion to consult his bishop on GER
tain matter and, in answer to his let
ter, received an invitation to sleep the
night at the palace. For forty or fifty
years he had practically led the life of
recluse and it was after many cogi-
tations that he decided to take the
journey to the other end Of the do
cese, where the bishop lived. He ar
rived just in time for 8 o'clock tea, a
meal to which he was a complete
stranger. After tea the bishop asked
him to accompany him to evensong
When they returned TO the house. the
bishop, remarking that it was quite
time they went upstairs, lit a candle
and showed his guest to his room. 1t
was then just O'clock and, though
The old clergyman thought it was
rather early to retire, still, admiring
the bishop for such simple habits, he
prepared for bed. He had just put
out the light and lain down to sleep,
wishing he had eaten a little more at
tea. when booming noise rang
through the house and smote upon his
ear. Quick as thought he sprung from
his bed and shouting "Firew at the top
of his voice, rushed out onto the land
ing just in time to meet the bishop,
with lady on his arm, going down to
dinner The sequel to the story has
never been divulged and, as | have
said, this is not personal reminis-
cence