St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1899-03-25
AT Cross Purposes


Mrs. Crushington "a widow. 50: Flor
ence Crushington (her daughterD, IS. Tit
tums (her kitten. s months; Hon. George
Hilton. IS.
Scene: Mrs. Crushington's drawing
room. Mrs. c. and her daughter are chat
ting.
RS. Gle hasn't called yet. He
lyl can't be going to disappoint us.
And / told them TO say | was not at
home to anyone else.
Flor.-How nice of you, mother dear.
Mrs. C-My dear child, you are very
good to say SO, even when there is dan
ger of our notadmitting Frank Romer.
Flor.-I don't care for Frank Romer.
Mrs. C.-Don't you. really: Then you
needn't have given him four dances at
the county ball.
Flor.-Now, Madame Propriety. don't
throw stones, or shall bring YOU TO
book for dancing two sets of Larcers,
and-yes, actually-one waltz with the
Honorable George at that self-same
ball. At your age, too! I'm quite
ashamed of you. When he calls this
afternoon l shall give him a good
scolding.
Mrs. C.-Florence, you are too flip
pant.
Flor.--So is Tittums, and so are you.
We're all fippant? Aren'twe. Tittums?
Tit.-Mew! NEW.
Mrs. C.-When George Hilton arrives
perhaps you would not mind leaving us
I alone for few minutes?
Flor.--I was just about to ask you
whether you couldn't find some p-eteNt
for being called away.
Mrs. CT?
Flor.-Well, you know, it's difficult
when the dragon is present.
Mrs. C.-The dragon-difficult. What
on earth do you mean?
Flor.--I mean that he nigh, feel awk-
ward even before you, dearest. Give
me ten minutes.
Mrs. C.-You absurd child! Ha. ha,
begin to see. And so you actually hare
the effrontery TO presume that our ex-
pected caller is coming here to propose
for your hand?
Flor.-Well. what else could ! as
sumo? If not, why all this planning
and scheming TO get him here alone?
Mrs. C.-Florence, am a widow.
Flor Yes. and very respectable
one. Yoa'll be antique presently.
Mrs. C.-I am on the sunny side of
forty.
Flor.-The days are getting terribly
short, don't You thinks
Mrs. C.-My glass tells ME that am
still not devoid of attractions.
Fior.--Matronly attractions.
Mrs. C.-You yourself need fathers
advice and counsel.
Fler.---A husbands.
Mrs. C.-No. fathers. / hope to lie
able to present you with such father
in
Flor.-Ge orge Hilton?
Mrs. C.-The same.
Flor.-You absurd mother: Now |
begin tc understand. And so you ac-
tually have the etfrontery to assume
Mrs. C--Silence. will you!
Flor.--No. won't!
Mrs. C.-To have ones child turn
upon one! It's unnatural!
Flcr.-That mother should try to
mar her. daughters prospects-it's
abominable.
Mrs. ca mere chit like you.
Young enough to be his daughter!
Flcr.-And you might have been his
mother.
Tit.-Mew. new.
Flor.--What does it want, the dear?
Mrs. C.-Your kitten thinks it, near
tea time. You can have yours III the
breakfast-room.
Flor.--I shall have mine here.
Mrs. Csc you insist:
Flor.--I do insist.
Mrs. C.-Iou will spoil the game for
us both.
Flcr.--I didn't know Mr.. Hilton was
a pheasant.
Mrs. C.-Nery well! shall tell them
not to admit him.
Flor.--You are too late, my lady. He
is coming up the stairs.
Mrs. C.-Those electric bells!
(A servant announces THE Hon.
George Hilton.'0
Mrs. C.-My dear Mr.. Hilton, how
good of You to keep your promise.
Flor.--And a promise made in the
park. too.
. Hil.-i am most pleased to find YOU
in. All, that beautiful Persian kitten,
(Coaxing IT'D
Tif.-Mew, new!
Mrs. C.-And you love kittens?
Hil.-Well. love is rather stranp,
word.
Flor.--Of course it is. How absurd
you are. mother dear.
Mrs. C.-Yes, love is a strange word. /
Mr.. Hilton.
Hil.-Few people seem to think so |
nowadays. The modern equivalent is |
too often caprice or fancy.
Mrs. C.-Florence, dear. would Won
mind fetching that photograph Of Tit
tums which Mr.. Romer took for YOU?
Fiur.-l viii ring for it, dearest. |
docs so.l ! caught nasty cold, Mr.. |
Hilton, AZ the county ball.