The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-01-10
MEDITATIONS OF Mr.. DOOLEY.
On the Fashion of Literary Lion
Hunting.
Chicago Journal.

Chicago Journal)
WAN iv tn things that ye'd notice
about Chicago, Hinnissy, if ye'd lived
here as long as have" said Mr.. Doc
ley, lis tn sthrong way we've come
along on lithrachoor Whin l was
young man tn only lithry guy we had
was Tim Seaman, that wrote TIL JAG
cts Green'-ye know tn song. 1t be-
gins, 'Whin L was a maiden fair an
young'-Scanlan was an OF bachelor
an had no harlan Long John Went
worth that owned a newspaper an in
throjooced tn first steam fire milne
liver seen in tn west. l mind whin a
man be tn name iv Charles Dickens
come here-he was a Sassenach-an
thried FIR to separate us RIM our good
money an they was a ball that night
iv tn Happy Sons of tn Gloryous
West, an tn la-ad talked to tn man
that had his books on sale an the
janitor iv the hall. All tn othe pa
throns iv Htherachoor whit to tn oall.
"'Tis different now. Theyse as
NANNY authors in Ar-rchey road as
I've unpaid tabs in tn drawers. About
tn same number. ioung Hogan is
prisidint iv tn Sons iv Saint Joseph an
O'Mara Khy-am Sodality. He tells me
that this here O'Mara is an alias f'r
lithry guy be tn name iv Fitzgerald
I've knowed a few FitZgeralds. van
iv thin used to r-run a hall down be
Halsted street, an they was another
in tn wather office. but | Wudden't
name Caseys COW afther ayether ~
thin, let alone a sodality. An instead
of TIL young ladies SEWN society
they've started tn Mrs. Humphrey
Ward an Pleasure club. an Molly Don
ahue's tn head iv that. What do they
do? Well, It's this way. Whln amy
man writes so nanny pieces IT IN pa
per where he lives that ma wan'u have
TO do with him, they slnd
him a letther askin' him to come out
an r-read his pieces to thin. Thin they
give a ball FIR to pay tn iXDinses an
sind the proceeds to him. If he's a
good man, an don't dhrink. he comes
out. They put him in tn finest r-room
at tn Transit House that 81 can buy
an young Hogan gets tn raporther w
tn Halsted Street GaZoo FIR to 1nther-
view him.
" What dye think iv our Worlds
fair city?' asks tn rayoorther.
" Rotten says tn lithry guy.
"'Have We seen amy iv tn lithry
produce iv Chicago?
Il niver eat anything canned
What's ye'er opinyon iv tn Bible?
CA vastly overrated wurruk- IN
is not dhrawed IF m nature
an tn language is coorse.
Eye have poor opinyon iv Shakes
perez
9TH worst in tn wurruld- Have We
a. pitcher iv me? Well, here's twinty.
Go. now, We impydint outcast, an see
hat they're printed in ye'er scand-lous
an odjous newspaper, which despise,
he says. TIL vileness iv TIL press Nv
America he says, is beyond amy
thing / know he says. Nanny an
manny's tn time tn privacy iv me
r-room has been invaded be raporthers,
an tn secrets iv me ART an me life
firm me, an thin they didn't
print more thin half what l said he
says. Co. he says, an vent ye'er
CURSED spite on me-, he says. Tell
him ivrything about me- he says. Tell
him I'm tn gr-reatest Twin author;
ell thin I'm tn mos fashionably
man., he says. Tell thin wo-
men go mad over me- he says. Expose
ne naked to the wurruld, he says.
Yen find pitcher iv me there in
soold bathtub, attinded be tn Prince Nv
Wales he says. Alas he says, that
| man iv my standin' shud be so
hreated,' he says. An he weepS an
gives tn raporther an eight-cint seegar
IN a vollum iv his well-known thrans-
alton iv Butthricks Pattherns firm tn
original Greek.
"They had a Jew man out here tn
,ther day, the author iv a pome called
ChiIdher iv tn et-to-hell-out-of-thi
think Hogan called it. | niver give
h Jews much credit FIR bein' lithry,
IN, be hivins, they niver give me much
redit FIR anything else. But this lad
vas lithry guy, all fright. He talked !
V tn O'Mara Khy-ams, an says he: |
I'll make an ipigram,' he says. This
S tn worst town, an this audience
h wor-rst mob iv imported immigrants |
liver see,' he says. He didn't put it |
hat sthrong, but it sounded that way.
I'm surprised to see We here tonight,
lie, says, FIR none iv we look as if We |
yer armed more thin thirty cints in tn |
he says, or had brains
he says, to buy a ticket, he |
avs AS 1 said to an audience tn |
Their night. in me style that's been so |
ouch copied ivrywhere,' he says, TIL |
ca iy upturned faces befure me makes
ne want to go out an hang mesilf FIR
ear I'd be drowned, he says. / doubt |
amy Nv ven understand anything |
say he says, but I'll go ahead an
read firm tn wurruk iv tn gr-reatest
uthor that was liver foaled,' he says.
That is, he says, 'mesilf,' he says. TIL
rst selection. he says, will be 'Th'