The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1899-09-30
YOU CAN'T BEAT EN-.
THIS WAS JoBSoNs CONCLUSION
ABOUT WOMEN IN GENERAL.

wv Nv " 0GiNGtNHGs
II Was Prompted by a Midnight Ex-
perience with His Wife, In which
the Revenge That He Had Planned
So Well Went sadly Astray.
Mr.. Jobson got home from his office
at 4:15 one afternoon not long ago and
found a note from Mrs. Jobson saying
that she had gone to hear the perform
ance of a long haired pianist and that
he'd find his dinner all ready for the
girl to serve it.
That's a good thing. too, unused
Mr.. Jobson sulkily when he had read
the note. Its a wonder these mattress
headed geniuses that come over here to
this country and rake in American dol
lars, hating Americans all the time,
wouldn't call their game at an hour
that 'ud permit a toiling mans wife to
be on hand at home to give him some
thing to eat when he wants it," etc.
The opportunity was too good for
Mr.. Jobson to miss, so he declined to
eat any dinner when the servant put it
on the table. Instead he slammed on
his hat and went down town
He wanted to give Mrs. Jobson a les
son. He ate an unsatisfactory dinner at
a restaurant and hen poked around
until it was time for a variety theater
to open its doors. He had to watch a
lot of poorly played billiard games in
order to put in this time and to talk
with a lot of bachelors, from whose
ways of thinking he had departed.
He was bored exceedingly by theater
time. The show bored him still more,
but he stuck it out, for he wanted to
get home as late as possible, the better
to rub it in ON Mrs. Jobson. By II
o'clock he reflected that he had had a
pretty poor sort of an evening-his
evening paper unread, his favorite pipe
neglected for a lot of cigars that gave
him heartburn, a poor dinner, idle talk
with a slew of men that he didn't want
to talk to, and finally a tawdry, cheap
variety performance that might have
got a laugh out of him ten years before,
but was only SO much ribaldry to him
now
He took in a couple more billiard
games, however. after the show and
threw a couple of cocktails into him
self, not because he cared to drink, but
because he wanted Mrs. Jobson to smell
his breath and thus perceive the awful
consequences of her conduct.
Mrs. Jobson was comfortably tucked
in bed when Mr.. Jobson got home
about half an hour after midnight. She
had not even left a light burning in
the vestibule or in the bedroom. She
woke up very leisurely when Mr.. Job
son started one of the gas jets going,
She didn't say anything, however.
Mr.. Jobson had expected 10 find hel
up, fully dressed and in tears. He was
disappointed. He was more d~isappoint.
ed that she didn't greet him with re.
pinings. Mr.. Jobson saw that she wa:
likely to go to sleep again and that he
wasn't causing any grief at all by be-
ing naughty and keeping still. So ht
cleared his throat and said;
"Did he play the buck dance concerto
in z minor with his hair, and how wa
IL"
There was a lot of sarcasm In thu
way Mr.. Jobson asked this question.
Mrs. Jobson didn't turn over at all.
"What are you talking about3" sh'
inquired sleepily.
81 want to know if that Dutchmal
that kept you away from your duty o
serving a meal to your husband afte
his day of grinding labor gave you you
moneys worth; also if you think your
making any kind Of a hit with anybod.
by these methods, hey"
"Oh, the recital; that's what you r
speaking of, isn't it said Mrs. Jobsol
sweetly. "Well l didn't go. had in
tended to go when l started out shop
ping in the morning and left the not
for you telling you so, but l thought i
might annoy you to have me ava.
l from dinner, and so, when l conclude,
my shopping, about 4 O'Clock this after
noon, l decided not to go to the recital
3 The Fourteenth street car that brough
? me up town passed the car that too
you down town. saw you on the ca
8 and wondered why you were going j
/ that direction. l suppose you had to G
t back to your Office to work. It's shame
I full the way they're o~verworking you
you poor old thing" and then Mrs
Jobson, who knew that Mr.. Jobso
hadn't been working at his Office, turne
over and subsidized into dreamy slumbel
"You can't beat EN-" thought M
Jobson when he got into bed. He we
thinking of women in genera. Wa
inaton Star.