Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1899-08-02
ms A MEAN YANKEE TRIoK'
The Way Perkins overworktd his
Hens and How "The Committee"
Found Him Out.

man from Long ISlhnu, as no A@n0" A'e
chin whisker with his fingers. ut ri
tale of deception and the betrayal es|
the condolences Of faithful hard work.
ing creatures. -..
"Well, to boil it down, it was this
way: A thin faced Yankee moved
over from Connecticut, bringing with
him about Fifty hens. BE fixed up the
old barn on the place next to mine,
which he bought. and he installed the
ponltry, with three or four arrogant
boosters, in this here barn. He gave
out, although he didn't talk mach, tha
he was a'goin to run an egg farm. be
called it an egg ranch. Az he wasn'
soeiable TO any large extent and was
in the habit of drinkin' by himself no.
BODY paid mach attention to him. We
let him potter around and just formed
the conclusion that he was = mighty
mean man. And by ginger spruce! ne
was the meanest. low-d WIDEST cussI
that I've ever run up against, and We
have some purity mea' members OF the
tribe over in Long Is and, ,|
"Well, things went along, and shis
fellow-Perkins wGs LIS name-went
down to the railroad station every DAY
N shipped his eggs TO N'York. One
day Sam Martin came to me and ssz,
sezzee:
";Joe, how many hens bas that ere
Perkins fellow gotlayin' for him1
"Well 1 don't know edzacily, but
the postmaster who k cps q grocery
store, as q Size sh w to his business
with Uncle Sam, he Clipped in m says
why he's only got fifty hens, ! count
cd EN-
THAT'S jes' what ] thought says
Sam, and that's why ] asst ye. Yssse
that fellows sending about twelve
dozen eggs TO cher city every day. He
can't make eggs, M he don't steal 'sm,
for nobod'y's missed Aons. 50 wbsr'n
thunder does he get emp
"To tell the truth, we oil thought
Sam Was mistaken, but She next day /
was down ct the railroad station and
30 were lot OF others. Sure enough
Perkins shipped about twelve dozen
eggs to the market.
"Now, you folks that live up here
can't think how that Perkins egg Situa- |
tion bothered up. We stopped talkin'
politics, church squabbles were lost
sight Of, n we didn't do anything but
talk about the Perkins egg output day
time and in the psstofise at night.
Bineby it came to crisis. The strain
was agettin too heavy. We were losin
sleep over the matter. 1t was decided
that we must investigate. We appoint
ed a com mittee and went out to Per-
kins's place. But do you think he'd
led us get within ten feet Ct that bsrn'
Nary.
1--WE felt bad over our throw.down
for day or two, till someone suggest /
ed that Perkins had east spell on the
hens. The thing looked supernatural,
uncanny you know; so, to get at the
gist of the whole thing, we decided to
sneak out to that barn some night
abont midnight. Well we did a I'll
never forget that night till my dying
day. We sneaked up to the barn.
Everything was quiet, n We didn't
notice that he'd run electric light wires
from the big hotel into the barn. How
somever, we got bold. n one OF our
gang thew open the barn door.
'Say gentlemen it was the asddest
sight of my life. I've seen deceived
women and such, but this bsst'em all,
for those hens were dumb creatures.
Whatier think this mean cuss Of
Perkins had doneG Well, he'd hung up
painted scenery. like 70 SOC in thoe-
ayters, all around the sides Of the barn,
to look like landscape. Then from the
middle Of the roof hung down dozen
electric lights. Around the sides OF
the barn, in their boxes, set the most
woe-begone, detected, vermont set OF
hens you ever saw. II you ever saw
agony in hens face it was there. ]
Why, they had almost human lines OF
care writ in their faces. you see the
game of this Perkins party vas ashek !
one, 1t was this way. He'd torn on
the electric lights for four hours q /
the hens would do their duty n layl
their usual eggs. Then he'd turn Of |
the lights, n the hens would think it
was night n 60 to bed. He'd lot EN-
sleep for..iour hours m then slap would |
go the lights on again full glare. tn