davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-03-30
CONFIRMATION ut barton Heights.

There will be a confirmation service at
Epiphany church. Barton Heights to-
night Bishop Gibson will officiate, and 4
large class will be presented.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-03-30
MAINS ARRIVE RICHMOND.

3.23 A. NJ, Daliy' from JScksohViiIe'
ianta. Macon. Augusta, and
all points South.
o,rA NJ. Daily, except Sunday, At
o." - lanta Athens, Raleigh, Hen
derson, LyncnburS. and the
West.
eng NJ. Daily. Petersburg local.
$40 s. NJ, Sunday only, from Atlanta,
kthens, Raleigh, Henderson,
Lynchburg, and the west.
s.55 4. NJ, Daily except Monday,
Tampa. ST. Augustine, Jack
sOnylllc, Savannah Charles
ton.
Petersburg.
,.s,P NJ. Daily. except Sunday, from
Petersburg. Stops Chester,
Centralia. Drewrys Bluff,
and Manchester on signal
1.2O p NJ. Daily Jacksonville, Savan-
rah, Charleston, Whining.
ton. Goldsboro', and all
points South.
Xxx p NJ. DAILY Norfolk Suffolk.
yVavery, and Petersburg.
s.SS P. NJ, DAILY. Ie.srsburg. Lynch
J. +. KENLY, n EMERSON
General Manager. Traffic Manager.
H. NJ EMERSON.
General Passenger Agent.
c. s. CAMPBELL.
ta15 Division Passenger Agent.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-03-30
NEW NAMES BEING ENROLLED.
Membership OF the Public Lyceum
Now Growing Every Day.

Now GROWING Every my
The rolls OF the Richmond Lyceum
we're thrown open yesterday to new
members. all old members who desired TO
renew their subscriptions having been
enrolled previously. Blank applications
for membership can be obtained at the
Office OF the J. l.. Hill Printing Company,
- north Twelfth street. All who hand
in their names at once will be placed on
an equal footing with old members in the
selection OF seats. The first twenty who
sign applications to-day viii be given
free ticket of admission TO the lecture
of Professor Otis +. Mason, which takes
place on next Monday night.
The following new names have been
enrolled:
r.. c. Garlick. l.. II. Barns,
r. r. Glasgow. Henry Block,
X. g. Mewb0rne. w. Gary Bragg.
r. l.. Meagher. Miss Ella Kraker,
Moses May, Miss Katie T. Buford
Robert c. Nelson, W. c. Boyd,
p r. Purcell w. b. Chesterman,
Il. ID. Taylor Chris. II. Clarke,
George f. Ullman, J. Preston Carson,
Howard winston. Christie. c. Cousins.
Mrs. Eliz ). Wilson. Mrs. JAS. NJ. Donnan,
seldom Wake, Henry }. Eppes.
Ed. Whitlock. MIS-. L. Fellhimer,
X. A. Lancaster, Leroy u. Grant,
j. b. Jeifress, Saml l.. Elchel,
John L. Grubbs ). c. Levitt,
h. ID. Beveridge, Miss Lilly Rosendort,
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-03-30
D z & D Richmond, PFe18'
Az Il " 4 riCkSburs & Potomac
scAS"aAe In Eject Janunry 10, ISOO.
LEAVE BYRD-sTHEET STATION.


1888 A. NJ, Daily, Tor Washington ana
points North. stops only at
Milford and t'rederlcKsburg.
Pullman Sieepers 70 New
$40 A. NJ, Sunday only for Washing
ton and points North. stops
a Eiba, Glen Allen Ash
iand, TaylOTsylle, boswell,
Ruther Glen, PenOla, NIL
ford. WOodslane, Guinea,
, ummIt. tredericKspusS,
Brooke. ana Whitewater.
$40 A. NJ. Daily except Sunday. for
Washington and points
North. Stops at Elba Ash
and, TeylOrsvlle. boswell.
Ruther Glen, Penola, Mil
ord, Woodsane. Guinea.
$ IN m [. Fredericksburg.
Brooke. and Whitewater.
Pullman car.
COS A. NJ, Daily except Monday, New
York and Florida Special.
Solid yestibuled train COM
posed exclusively Of Pull
man cars. for Washington.
Baltimore. PHILADELPHIA, ana
New York. No local stops
100 M. Iaiy. except Sunday, Tor
washington and points
North. stops At Eliza. Glen
Allen. Ashland, boswell.
MILFORD. Fredericksburg.
Brooke, and Whitewater.
Parlor car. Also. connects
win Congressional Limited
al Washington
TAO T. NJ, Daily for Washington ana
points North. Stops at Elba.
Ashland. boswell Milford.
Fredericksburg. Brooke. ana
Whitewater. and other sta-
lions Sundays. Sleeper Rich
roond % New York Sleeper
Washington - phiadofnhia.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-03-30
IN SOUTHERN
4l''' cSN RAILWAY.
Schedule Effective March ~, 1-DO
TRAINS LEAVE RICHMONDsgA.

TRAINS LEAVE Hlt : -
400 l.. a.. 80. "a, Southern EXpresF,
daily for Atlanta, Augusta, and
points South. sleeper for DanyiDc
greensboro. Salisbury, ana that-
Lottc open 40 Richmond $3.50 T. ~.
stops for passengers az local sta-
lions.
Connects az Damvile and Char
lOtte with New York and Florida
Express no. 49,. carrying through
seepers between Sew York ana
Aiken and New York and Tampa.
with connections FOR an Flor'.t
points. Also, connects az DanEi.le
and Charlotte with Washington
AID Southwestern Limited 90. s1.
carrying through sicepera between
New YORK and Nashville; Sow
York and Memphis, anc New York
and New Orleans. with connections
for an points II texas. Mexico. and
California.
1901 I. NJ. NO T. so.h train daily FOR
Charlotte. y. q. Connects 40 Nose
ley with farmvlle and PoWhatau
railroad. At KeysyiIe FOR Clarks-
yi'c oxford, Henderson. and DIr-
ham. and az Greensboro FOR Iur-
nam. Raleigh. and WinstOn-Saiom,
al Danviile witb 80 3j. United
states fast .nai. j0lld train, dtIy
ICr New Otican pnd points south.
which carries sloepers New YORK
70 New Orleans. and New York fo
Jacksouvlile and Miami for Nassau
ana hanana. Through sleeper sac
lisbury - Memphis. also. Pullman
tourist sleeper every wednesday
ana saturday Washington 90 san
80. Francisco. without change
o.oo J.. ". No. II. local daily EXCEPT
sunday for KeysVille and inter-
mediate points
TRAINS ARRIVE ~ RICHMOND.
600 a. AI)
I'D +. Nj From Atlanta, Augusta,
Asheyille
$40 a. NJ, from Keysyilc and loca!
stations.
LOCAL FREIGHT TRAINS.
Nos. 81 and -. between Manchester ana
Noaoolis.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-03-30
RAILROAD LINES.
a M 2R @ 2sssssa
4 n I ATLANTIC-C0AST
IL VI Ia LINE
schedule In Eject December IS, 1sos.
TRAINS LEAVE DECENTRALIZATION
DEPOT.

DEfoIs
:, DalIy. Arrives Petersburg
9:5l "a. M; Norfolk LIB n.
81. stops only at Petersburg.
Waverly. ana suffolk, VI
:, Daily. Arrives Petersburg
so A. NJ, Weldon u:&
A. M, Fayetteville AIS /
NJ, Charleston 1870 Il. NJ,
savannah 12.JD q. NJ, Jack
souville 1:JO y. NJ, Port
Tampa 6:20 i. NJ. Connects
at Wilson with No. ~, ar
irving GOldsbOrO' $40 K. NJ,
Wilmington 5.4J Il. NJ. Pull
man sleeper New York to
Jacksonville.
-, Daily, except Sunday. AR
rives Petersburg 100 Z. NJ.
Stops Manchester. Drewry's
Bluff, Centralla, and Chester
On signal.
Daily. Local. Arrives Pc
tersburg 4:l5 p. VI. Makes
ali stops.
=, Daiiy. Arrives Petersburg
GO L. N. Makes ali local
stops Richmond and Peters
burg railroad.
E, Daily. Arrives Petersburg
S:04 L. NJ, connects with
Norfolk and Western for
Norfolk and intermediate
points; EmDOria 9:l0 (cOn-
meets with \. and ID. FOR
stations between Emporia
and Lawrenceyille), Weldon
9.i2 L. NJ, Fayetteville 1901
A. NJ, Charleston 6.92 a. NJ.
Savannah 500 a. ~, Jack
sonville p. NJ, Port Tampa
9:45 z. NJ.
NEW LINE TO MIDDLE
GEORGIA POINTS.-Arriy-
ing Aiken rs A. NJ, Augusta
$40 A. NJ. Macon II \. NJ,
Atlanta l2:lJ l.. NJ. Pullman
Sleepers New York 10 Viii
mington. Jacksonville. Port
Tampa. Aiken. Augusta, and
=. Daily DAILY Arrives Petersburg
9.39 =. VI. Weldon 11:20 =.
NJ. Makes local stops be-
tween Petersburg and We'll
don. Arrives Lynchburg 2:l5
a. NJ; Roanoke. Va. 40 A.
NJ: Bristol, Va, 1870 4. NJ.
Pullman sleeper Richmond
10 Lynchburg.
=, Daily. except Sunday. THE
NEW YORK AND FLORI-
UA SPECIAL. Arrives
Charles 7:f5 \. NJ, Sayan-
nah 9:Ol a. NJ. Jacksonville
40 +. NJ. 81. Augustine 2.2J
L. NJ. Tampa S:l5 L. NJ.
=. Daily. Arrives Petersburg
1870 p. NJ.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-03-30
N NV 3 w Nar'aia0 8sdga
y " - - ~ 49, !
March 13. 1880.
LEAVE RICHMOND, BlRD-STRELP
STATION.

n.oo A n El,na,.,D AM hJl..
FOLK NESTIBJLE LIMil-
I'D. Arrives Norfolk l.D
a. NJ. stops only &C Peter
burg, NaVerly, and suffolk
SecOnd-class tlchcts not uC-
cepted on this train
DOS A, NJ. THE CHICAGO EXPRESS,
for Lynchbuis, Roanoke, Co
lum6ua. s1f ''l a.Au. Pull
man SCOPE Roanoke 20 CO.
'uWFcs, also, for Bristol,
Knoxville, and Chattanooga.
.L4Andn sleeper kOauONe -
Knoxville.
7:3O I. Al. For Suffolk. Norfolk. and in-
termediate stations, arrives
at Norfolk at 1870 L. NJ.
900 T. NJ, for ByncnDurg and koa-
noke. Connects 40 Lyuchbulg
with Washington and CHAT
tauOoga Limited. PA luan
5 eepcrs Lynchburg t0 Menu
phis and New Orleans. pul-
gan Sleeper between RIOl-
moDd and Lynehburs and
a. =. 81. Also PuI-
R-anoke
Trains arrive Richmond from Lynch
burg and the We. daily at o13 a. a.
ard $50 =. NJ; t-cn Norfolk and the
East a. nos A. ~ md NESTiBULED
LIMITED at 6.55 = =.
Office: S38 Main sta %
r. ~ COURTNEY,
District Passenger Agent
w b. BEVTIL.
General Passenger Agent.
General Office: Roanoke. Va. "a u
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-03-30

A woman who.
takes chances with
her health is sim
ply gambling with
the Black Devil of
Disease. Ii she has
any weakness OF de-
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-03-30

Don't swallow Sauseating Capsules.
but take Groves Tasteless Quinlne Pow
ders. Absolutely tasteiegs. Endorsed b.
chemists % cents.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-03-30
TRAINS ARRIVE IN RICHMOND.
YORK RIVER LIRE VIA WEST POINT.
THE FAvOaITE ROUTE ScRTH.
LEAVE RICHnOND.

go J.. Al. so. ~, .,v......D-l -..i-.. b,
oaily. except Sundays. iQr nt.l
Point ana intermediate stations,
making close conecuOn at N,sl
POINT on Mondays WcdncsdaI
ana fFddys With steamer lUr l--
tlmorci also, with Stage al l.f
.htNyf Tor Nakerton dnu L..lt-
hatnock on tuesdays. Ihureda.s,
and Saturdays.
2:3O l.. NJ. No. 10. local express l.l.
Gays, NJ edncsdfNs anu fr q
Stations s9a Ms-' t5 S,n aHo Win Intern Ts <
Lesser Manor .of 81 alkcrt0n a1t
Tappahannock; also. at West ~ :
with steamer Tor Baltimore sfons
AZ All stations.
300 4. NJ. No. As. local mixed Lcafa5
daily except SUNDAY from Vlrsinia.
Street station FOR West pom, ms
intermediate stations. connecting
with stage - Lester Manor Tor
Walkcrfpn arf 'Nelsia farnn.r
TRAINS ARRIVE AT RICHMOND.
oar a. Al. daily.
1910 =. NJ, Wednesdays and fridays
only.
GAO r, H.. daily except Sunday. from
West Point and Intermediate stA-
tons
Steamers leave West point az q L. NJ.
Mondays. Wednesdays. and Fridays, ana
Baltimore at T.. NJ. Tuesdays. Thurs
days, and Saturdays. ,
Ticket Office al station, foot OK VIZ
GINA street. open from . 4. NJ % =
81. and from go + ~ 20 =. a. NJ. cry
ticket ONCE 90 cas-; Main street,
c. w. WESrRrRN Tray. Pass ASen.,
40 az sart Mail stree,w X. h; Ii'Rk .
frame Manager. Gen Pass. Agent
+. $. CANNON. Third Vice Presic.n' ana
General Manager Washington. ID. =.
Ca I'D
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-03-30

TAO F. NJ
ARRIVE BYRD-sTREET STATION.


SAC \. NJ, Dauy. otovs al Whitewater.
BROOKE, treleucks Durg, mi.
ford, boswell. AS ID ana
Ella, and other stations
Sundays. Sleeper New YORK
70 Richmond
$50 p. NJ, Daily, except Sunday seems
az W q g " err Brooke
Fredericksburg, summit
Guinea, WoOdslare Milford
Pcnola, Ruther Glen. Dos
well, Ashland Glen Alien.
and Elba. Parlor car from
Washington.
71OP. NJ, Daily. Stops orly at Erede-
ricksburg. boswell Asn-
land. and Eiba. Pullman
ears from New York
gao p. NJ, Daily. Stops az Whitewater.
Brooke, Frederlcksburg'
summit. Guinea Woodslane.
Milford, PenOia, Ruther
Glen. boswell. Taylorsville.
Ashland; Glen Allen, and
Ella. Sleeping oar.
$50 z. NJ, Daily. except Sunday. New
York and Florida Special
Solid vestibulCd train com
posed exclusively Of Pullman
cars. from New York. Stops
oniv ~ -r'rofnoi 0i,foe
FREDERICI<sB'G ACCOMGODATIoy.
DAILY except sunday
4 90 =. NJ. Leaves Byrd-Street Station.
$50 A. NJ, Arrives Byrd-Stroet station.
ASHLAND TRAINS.
DAILY except Sunday)
ga \. Nj, Leaves Elba.
80 Z. NJ, Leaves Elba.
q 40 A. NJ, Arrives Elba.
800 z. NJ, Arrives Elba.
". Il. TAYLOR Traffic Manager.
4. 7. ID. Myers. Presl lent. ia IL
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-03-30
6. ULIWAN'S SONS
GROCERY BARGAINS.
GUARANTEE 10 SAVE YOU 20 PER CENT.

Orange County Creamery Butter, -
per pound ............ .......'''.''.'' 10
Pure Lard ............,, .....''''''.'''' %
Best Hams, per pound ................ ~
Fine Lake Fish, per dozen.......... i
Hotoff's Finest Virginia Clhet 49,
quart bottles ............'....,...;'' -
Java and Laguyra Coffee, posnd... 10
Best quality Oats. per bushel ..... %
Carolina Rice. per pound. :.............
Pure Old Country Cider Vinegar per ~
gallon ............ ...............' ~
Small Genuine Sm!thfeld Hams,
per pound ................ ...........' -
Fresh Country Eggs, per dozen..... 12ls
HOMEMADE Apple butter ana Jeily,
per pound ............ .-....-....
Try our Jefferson Spring Wheat
Patent Flour per barrel .......,... 70
Shoe Polish, per bottle ...............
Good Catawba and Blackberry -
or. Der gallon zine drink)........... 10
Boston Baked Beans, per can........
Jefferson Coffee. l-pound papers,. 10
Best Sugar Corn, per can ............ z
or. for ............ .................. 70
Genuine Smthheld Hams pound. 1917
4-year-old Rye Whisky, quart. 80
Snowflake Patent Family Flour, per
or or7 per barrel ......... .............. 100
Small Country Jowls. per pound....
Large cans Thistle TomatOes.....
pound box Baking Powder .......
Halt pound box Baking Powder. 3
Matches Der dozen ................... 3
9-pcund-can Assorted Jell~ .......... 10
Home-Made Preserves, all assort-
ments. per pound ....................
3-striug Broom ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. u
s. ULLIAN's SON.
1870 AND 1872 EAST MAIN STREET.
Uptown store. 500 east Marshall.
Both phones at both stores
It will pay you TO write for one of our
complete price-lists It's a regular money
saver.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-03-30
AIMS LEAVE TTGHTH-sTHEEr
gTaTTDH

Daily, for Lynchbllg. LIZ.
ingtOn. Va, and clifton
Forge. Connects. eXctut
SUNDAY. wiki bucknsn n
and Alberine branches. anal
at Clifton Forge with Nr
Z for Cincinnati.
Except Sunday. for Co'um-
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-03-30

1000 p. NJ,
I0:45 +. NJ.
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-03-30
ARRIVE EIGHTB-sTREEr

% A. NJ, Exc ~ sunday, from CO.
lumhia.
o p. NJ, Daily. from clifton FORGE
Lexington Va. and Tyn.h.
burg; and. except sunday
from New Cast. and Ros-
nev. JOHN u. POTTS
assistant General Passenger AGENT
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-03-30

General Passenger Agent.
General Office: Roanoke. Va. ia u
Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-03-30
TRAINS ARR = at RICHMOND
yROAB-sTREEg STATION,

Except sunday, llOM Dos.
well.
Daily. from Cincinnati
Daily. from Norfolk and OH
Point.
Daily. from Cincinnati and
Louisville.
Daily. frcm Norfolk ana GA
Point.
Except Sunday. from clifton
fnrga.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1899-04-22
AN EXPERT
The Captive Fish shows skill md
Judgment in Fencing with
n Frenchman

Hank CarrutherS. of Block Island. r.
l.. an old-time fisherman. last year
caught Il young s~worGiish. not more
than w feet long. which had refused
TO leave the dead body of its mother,
which he had h]arpooncd after an eN-
citing fight. Fine young fish survived
the transportation to a tidal pond be
hind the Carruthers homestead. and the
entrance to the pond was closed with q
net to prevent his escape. Since then
Mr.. CarrutherS has tanned the fish so
that it will feed from his hand. and the
Teighbors had become so accustomed
to the sight that they did not notice it
any more. Last month Il French gentlr-
man engaged boar with the Carruth-
ers family. and he tool delight in
watching the antics of the graceful
fish. which row is more than fOur feet
long. Soon h. managed to gain its con-
tideuce. ard one day lately the neigh
borS were called in to witness Il most
amusin" spectacle. The French gentle
man. who is Il well-knOwn New York
fencing teacher. NJ. Tirrcc. had been
training the fish f~urtiveiy. He had
made a soft pad of leather. which he ad-
iustei OF the tip of his sword like he
button on n foil. and the TWO gave an
exhibition bout of fencing which could
not be caualed for nicely of action and
correctness urdash in the Fenccr's club.
The fish apparently knows all the rules
ofthe game. and carefully refrains from
committing fouls. He cuts and slashcs
swiftly. and several times he caught NJ.
Tierce and nearly transfiXed
him. The Frenchman has offered Mr..
Carruthers 4 large sum for the fish.
which he wishes to eXhibit.-N. Y. Press.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1899-04-22
AN UNWELCOME SINGER.
How a Musical Donkey Inferfcred
with the Recitation of
n Poet.

Opic Read. the novelist. and Charles
tOur together in Arkansas. giving read
ing from their own work. One even
ing IL = certain town just as Banks had
started to rCCitc Il favOrite and touching
pOcm-his own-a donkey in a shed
Just behind the opera house lifted up
his mighty voice. and braycd as hoarsc-
" and v~ocifcrOuslv as eve donkey did.
The partition wall between the opera
house and the donkey shed was so thin
and open that it seemed as if the donkey
was at Banks elbow.
The poet managed to get through
his verses despite the discordant ac-
commandment. and then Reads turn
came. He went o N and told Il story, and
the donkey was respectfully silent. But
when Banks went on again the la
laamite stecd broke forth with renewed
yipor. The audience Uttered. and
Banks Was indignant, but pulled
through.
Again Read told a story without him
drance. and then again the donkey
started in with Banks. A rude boy in
the gallery shouted:
"Onc at Il time down there"
Read. moved by pity for his associate,
bribed a stage hoy to lead the donkey
afar off, and detain the unwe!come
singer until the entertainment was
over William Lightfoot Nisscher, IN
Woman's Home Companion.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1899-04-22
A WOULD-BE JOKER.
He Has n Hard Time Getting Some
One to Listen and Then Gets
BADLY Left.

lie had a new Joke. and he intended to
spring it. no matter what the result,
and he looked about for Il victim.
The street car conductor smiled after
he asked the ccnundrum. and shook his
head. Il know it," he said. The man
sighed.
The .~ianitor of the building was no
better. 80 on wild yeZ foolin'." he re-
marked. I'm not the sucker t bite
at YOUR bait, Misther Smith. | don't
ARE what the S~panyiard wor, sor."
The office boy was too dignified an
individual to even attempt such Il thing
upon. and the man with the joke passed
him with only his customary Good
morning, John His typewriter was
busy. but he began:
"Er-by the way-Miss Jones. what
would a Spaniard be if he ate his mother
and" Just then the telephone rang
v~iciously. and Miss Jones skipped away
to answer it. The party" at the other
end of the line was doubtless her beau,
for she answered pleasantly and stayed
for 20 minutes talking. The man with
the joke sighed again and went into
his private office. I'll try it on the
first one who calls. no matter if he is
Fitzsimmons or Corbett,' he declared.
1t was neither. 1t was a ~slow-Going,
quiet old German, who was used to TAX
ing jokes as he saw fit, and not as the
originator meant them.
Good morning, SchOnermeister,'
said the man. as hiScallerentered. Fine
morning after the snow. Don't have
down south. in Cuba. do they
BY the way. speaking of Cuba, I've go
= question to ask you. What would
a Spaniard be if he ate his mother and
father" And he leaned back, ready
to fire the answer at the first sign from
his victim. The victim smiled slowly.
Veil. Mister Schmidt" replied
Schonermeister. "vrOm vat hat read
aboud dose Spaniardts. | t'ink he would
be breddy sick mid his STOMACH. yet
once"
And the man who wanted him to say
a cannibal." so that he might remark,
triumphantly. NO; an orphan" gave
the thing up as a bad job.-Cincinnat
Commercial Tribune.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1899-04-22
HUMOROUS.

Caller-"Excuse me, can / speak to
your typewriter Il moment" City Man
You can't: she's engaged" Caller
That's all right-T'm the fellow
Illustrated Bits.
At the Browning Club.-Member-
Drowning, you know, is like Wag-
! ner-" Friend-'I see. At first you
don't understand him. but after awhile
| you think you do."-Puck.
The last thing l sent to this paper"
| said Melancholis, was accepted imme-
diately." What" cried Scribe, in as
| constituent. What was it?" a check
for an annual subscription" Spare
Moments.
Fuddy-"Heckle complains hat after
| all his labor in behalf of the public he
| gets nothing for it," Duddy-''And
| that's more than he deserves. Nothing
is too good for him. l have heard him
| say so himself."-Boston Transcript.
Enforcing the Rulcs.-'The gentle
man from Squedunk is Il thief. a liar
| and" Bang" went the gavel, and
the presiding officer exclaimed: The
| gentleman will address his remarks &c
the chair."-philadelphia North Amer
icaE.
Are you related II each other?" in
quired the probate judge at Oklahoma
City of Il German bridal couple bearing
the same name. And the groom re-
piled. Nein. Das is watts de matter.
We wants to be alretty."-Kansas City
journal.
Why asked the observant boarder,
"arc the special government reports of
England. France and other countries
called blue books, red books. yellow
books and the like" Il think" replied
the cross-eyed bOarGer, that the idea
is to give color to the rcports.1-Pitts-
bur%h Chroniclc-Tele@raph.
Mr.. NicefcIlow ito adored ones little
brother)-"Thcre, You did that er-
rand very nicely. Here's q penny for
you" Little I;rother-"Oh. ma. MIR.
Nicefellow gave me a penny" Ma
well, my dear. you should say"
Little Brother-"Yes, I know | should
say thank you.' but l was so 'sprised
] forgot. You said he hadn't Il cent to
call his own."-Stray Stories.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1899-04-22
Highest Stnge for Several Years.

Sioux City, Ia, April 1s.-Dispatches
from Pierre, S. D., say: The Missouri
river is nearly out of its banks, and is
rapidly rising. At Chamberlain it has
overflowed, and many people have had
to move to the bench lands. Here the
water is at the highest stage for sew
eral years, and its rise is rapid. Much
damage is being done to the banks in
this city and to farm lands below, de-
spite the government work, which
seems to be of little avail against the
swift current.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1899-04-22
DREAMING BY THE FIRE.

Nhen, alone with my soul, I am sitting
In the firelisht's golden CLEAN.
Sadly watching the shadows fitting,
seem to siumber and dream:
A thousand deep fountains of feeling
Gush forth with meIodious flow
Like th- music OF windharps stealing
Through the twilight, sweet and,low
Afca on swift tides OF emotion
As bitter with tears as The seas.
drift through a measureleSS ocean
OF sorrowful memories;
And out of the misty sea spaces
talr~ ph3ntornS around ne rise
How wel | remember their faces.
The Light of their soulful eyes,
Affair.", through the nebuIous distance
A spiendor shines like a flame.
And voices, with tender insistence,
Lovingly call me b. name.
From mist. and from foam. and the hollow
Sad sound Of this sobbing sea.
Thess phantom forms heckon and follow.
These voices whisper to me.
] know that these misty sea spaces.
These shapes. are not what they seem,
That the voices. the eyes. The faces,
Are only ghosts % a dream.
Long aSo n strange guest came unbIdden.
An angel. out of the skies.
And n graves are these faces hidden
And dark are the shining eyes.
But stn.-when alone I am sitting
II jhe iir"-i=ht's golden glsam
Sadly watching the shadows fitting
They haunt my soul in my dream.
-Cnar.ss W. Hubntr. in Atlanta Constitu.
ton