The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1899-08-05
The"KnOCker"
hTHOSE people think they're all
By Kenneth Harris.

"THOSE people think they're all
three rings and the menagerie,"
said the saltwater clerk with the fiat
black curl when the elderly man had
gone out after leaving q little pile of
hand-bills on the counter among the
patent-medicine almanacs.
The little druggist with the convex
sp~ectacles looked around at his assist
ant as he came from behind the pre-
scription east and took down a bottle
labeled Iris FL. p" but made no COM
ment. The two girls who were sitting
on the rotary stools consuming ice
cream giggled, however, and looked
soda-water clerks biting wit plainly
expressed in their eyes.
They're going to jump right in and
shake up the West side till its teeth
rattle loose" continued the saltwater
clerk, picking up a handful and look
ing at it. Listen to this, will you:
Mrs. Mary Bassmore Dugan and Rev. o.
i. Narney will address. the meeting
Say. You don't want to miss that, girls.
What time shall l call around for you?"
why Mr.. V~erjoos." said one of the
girls.
I'D hate to have you get sarcastic
about me-" said the other girl.
q want to hear the chairman intro
duce our dear and gifted sister, whose
%eloquence has done so much for our
cause" pursued the soda-water clerk.
obviously gratified. You never heard
Mary, did you? Well, she's great, they
tell Inc. She amt quite got Rev. Ora
torical Blatherskite Varney's burning
flow, but it's pretty hot stuff, and it
runs easy. wouldn't want to be around
her with any turpitude on me when she
turns herself loose"
The two girls giggled again and the
soda-water clerk rinsed out some
glasses and polished them with a
checked cloth, smiling complacently.
"Me and the rest of the y. NJ. c. a. boys
are going to get up an auxiliary move
ment," he observed, when the giggling
had subsidized. Cant you girls do any
thing for the true and the beautiful"
We'll think about it and let you
know" said one of the young women
as she rose and smoothed down her
skirt.
well, o reservoir" said the soda
water clerk.
"You ought to be easy On people," re-
monstrated the druggist, emerging
from behind the prescription case
again. They can't all be like you"
Its too bad" said the clerk. I'm
sorry for people. That's no josh; I'm
sorry for EN-"
You ought to be-" said the druggist.
"But then we can't all sit on the fence
and boot; some of us nave got to do
something"
The soda-water clerk looked puzzled.
81 mean," explained his employer,
"that we've got to do something besides
turning on a tap of gas and water. You
never did anything else, did you?
Somebody's got to play ball, don't you
understand. We can't all be among the
bleachers, criticising the game. I'll tell
YOU about that, William. When i see n
boy who's a player himself and has got
W. or three crippled fingers to show
for it make a few remarks"
81 suppose my experience is limited"
interrupted the saltwater clerk, ca
ressing his curl, but as far as it has
gone | never heard a player make n few
remarks hat could be seen"
Thanks" said the druggist. 81 was
going to say that while l don't mind
listening to what a player has to shout
aboutthe gameit gives me sharp twinges
up and down my back to hear some
smart little dough-faced yawp who
couldn't run a base. and wouldn't if he
could. get gay with good men who are
doing their best. What is there wrong
with this Luxembourg hall meeting?'
There amt nothing wrong with it as
l know Of" replied the saltwater
clerk. 81 understand they're going to
reform everything that is wrong. When
Mrs. Mary-wait n minute-yes, Mrs.
Mary BasGmore Dugan and Rev. o. b.
Varnev get together in Luxembourg
hall there's not going to be much show
for anything wrong. I'm surprised at
your insinuation."
do you know anything about
them?" asked the druggist.
"Why, now you mention it, and come
to think of it, l don't believe 1 ever
heard Of them before. They're good
names, though. l don't think l ever
heard any better one"
"Well. you want to make allowances
for Them" said the druggist. They're
probably trying to do good in their
poor, weak way. Somebody thinks
enough of them to go to the expense of
having handbills printed. I don't sup
pose they're bright intellectual people