davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-04-05
The Sea Gull and the Fisherman,

In the fishing village OF Auchmithie
(the Musselcraig of Scott's Anti
quary'') you may frequently witness
sea gulls flying into the houses Of the
fishermen and partaking of food from
their hands. One of these sea birds was
in the habit Of staying in fisherman's S
house all the year round except at the
breeding season, when it left. Quite re-
Gently, while the gull was away, the
fisherman removed his home from
Auchmithie to Arbroath (the Fairport
of Scott's Antiquary"), distant some
80 miles from the former place, taking
up his residence in South street of Ar
breath. The fisherman never expected
to see his old friend the gull again. 1t
was therefore much to his astonishment
that he beheld fortnight later the sea
bird come walking into his new resi-
dence with stately steps to resume his
old familiarities aud household ways
With his housekeeper.-London Lady.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-04-05
Raising His Fare.

A certain board school teacher is re-
sponsible for the following little story,
which is not without it's pathetic side.
He was endeavoring to explain the
term "booking" as applied to our rail
way system.
"Now," he was saying, "can any Of
you tell me the name Of the office at
which railway tickets are sold?''
"Tbe booking Office replied one of
the lads.
"Right," !" responded the teacher.
At this moment his eye fell on
small boy at the end OF the class, who
was evidently paying very little atten-
ton to what was said.
"Did you hear that, Dowser:" be
demanded.
"Wot, sir?'' asked that youth inno-
csntly.
"As 1 thought, you were not listen
ing. We will suppose that your father
decided to have a days holiday and
visit the seaside. What would ne have
to do before he could take his seat in
the train?''
Without a moments thought the
youngster electrified his teacher by re-
plying, "Pawn his tools. London
Standard.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-04-05
A kissing Nation.

In no other Part of the world is kiss
ing so much in vogue as in Russia.
From time immemorial it has been the
national salute. Indeed it is more of a
greeting than a caress.
In public affairs, as in private, the
kiss is an established custom. Fathers
and sons kiss, old generals with rusty
mustaches kiss, whole regiments kiss.
The emperor kisses b;o officers. On a
reviewing day there arc almost as many
kisses as shots exchanged. If lillipu-
tian corps of cadets have earned the i'm
perial approval, the imperial salute is
bestowed upon the head boy, who passes
it on with hearty report to his neigh
Dor, he in his turn to the next, and so
on, through the whole Juvenile body.
On a holiday or fete day the young
and delicate mistress of house will
not only kiss all her maidservants, but
all her menservants, too, and II the
gentleman does not venture above her
hand she will stoop and kiss his cheek.
To judge also from the number OF
salutes the matrimonial bond IN these
high circles must be one of uninterrupt-
ed felicity. A gentleman scarcely enters
or leaves the room without kissing his
wife either on her forehead, cheek or
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-04-05
FlNERTY'S SERMON.
It Brought Praise From the Preacher
Who Didn't Deliver 1t.

Before ex-Congressman John Finerty
became famous as the great American
British lion tail twister he was one of
the best reporters in Chicago. He was
on The Tribune, and one day certain
city editor (best known to fame-as the
man who always wore straw hat and
smoked corncob pipe) decided that
Mr.. Finerty should be disciplined
It was Saturday, and some time after
midnight. Mr. Finerty was assigned to
report the morning sermon of an OBJ
scure minister way down on the South
Side. Finerty was the senior, and his
associates were thunderstruck They
expected an explosion. at least but
Finerty remained calm and dignihed,
although a trife pale. Then he will
resign" they thought but Finerty
walked out and made no sign To the
surprise Of every one he reported the
next day as usual and turned in an abb
stract of the sermon Every one read it
on Monday morning. and it was GER
tainly an eloquent and carefully report
ed sermon.
That afternoon man of clerical cut
called on the city editor and asked to
see the young man who had reported
his sermon the morning before. Mr.
Finerty was introduced The man of
the clerical cut would Like to see Mr.
Finerty alone for few moments. Out
in the hallway he asked. "Of course,
you were not at my church yesterday
morning2''
''No, replied Finerty.
''Well. | simply stopped to thank you
for the sermon 1t was far more elo-
uuent than the one preached.
Finerty had composed the sermon in
a neighboring cellar beer saloon on
Saturday night. .-Lippincott's Maga-
zine
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-04-05
Rank In.uertinence.

The Philadelphia Record tells of an
old Pennsylvania farmer who recently
came into possession Of check for
5000. 1t caused him great deal Of anx-
iety, and for long time he could not
muster up the courage to have it cashed.
Finally, while on trip to town, be
summoned up nerve enough and, stroll
ing into the bank, presented the check.
The teller glanced at it hastily, and
then, after the fashion of his kind,
brusquely asked, ''What denomina-
tion:''
Lutheran, gol du-n it! But what's
thet got tew do with it?" as brusquely
replied the old farmer, to the great as
tonishment of the bank official.
1t required several minutes explana-
ton before the teller could get the old
man to understand his question, and
then the latter took his money and de-
parted, with sundry growls derogatory
to banks in general.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-04-05
MYSTERIOUS LIGHT AT SEA.
Three Steamers Didn't Understand
1t, but the Prince of Monaco Knew.


1t, but the Prince of Monaco Knew.
The Prince of Monaco has been known
since 1885 as an enthusiastic student
of the sea and it's various forms of life.
He usually spends his summers IL the
study of oceanographic problems, and
his cruises have on some occasions been
extended almost to the coasts Of Amer
lea. He delivered a lecture before the
Royal Geographical society in London
in which he told this incident:
One afternoon, while in the bay of
Biscay, he sank the trap in which he
collected specimens Of sea life. 1t went
to the bottom in over $4,000 feet Of
water, and as night approached he fas-
tened to the wire attached to it an elec-
trio buoy and then stood off mile or
so. It did not happen to occur to him
that he was right in the track of steam
ers plying between northern Europe
and the Mediterranean, but he was re-
minded of the fact later.
AS he and his II sailors were watch
ing with good deal of satisfaction the
swaying buoy with it's brilliant illu-
mination a steamers lights came into
view. It was soon evident that the
steamer was curious to know the mean
ing of the illumination, for she altered
her course and made for the light. She
knew that no fishing boats came out so
far from land and so determined to
solve the mystery Up she came to
within a quarter of mile of the buoy.
slowed up for minute, and then start:
ed ahead, perhaps little disguised at
the incident that had lured her several
miles out Of her course.
She had hardly got away when Sec
ond steamer came into view, and she,
too, bore down upon the lighted buoy
The marines on the princes vessel un-
derstood by this time that the illumina-
ton was probably believed to be evi-
dence of a disaster Just as the prince g
steamer was moving up to explain mat
ters she was nearly run down by one OF
the large liners in the oriental trade
which had also left her course to render
what assistance she could
The swell was very heavy, and the
prince feared collision as the three
vessels approached the light like moths
around candle He therefore veered
off and the other vessels, after standing
BY for few minutes. went on their
way and probably never learned the
co1so of that NIGHTS Illumination at
sea.
But the incident gave the prince a
pointer. lie carefully refrained there
after from exhibiting his electric buoy
on any of the much Travelled ocean
routes. New York Sun
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-04-05
ANOTHER BIG ITEM.

Oar var with Spain is said to have
cost us 10 round plumbers about $780,
600. 900, half as much as the money
indemnity which Germany exacted
from Fraoce after the crushieg defeat
OF the latter in 1870
But We are nos by any means
through with the expenses incident to
this war aud the resultant from 1t.
There is no telling how much the
Philippine struggle will cost Us before
We are through with it. TIE S20.OO0.~
900 We paid for those islands vas oae
OF the worst investments any nation
ever made, but it is bagatelle 10 coca
parison with what We will probably
have to pay to lassen our hold and to.
contioue it upon ten OF eleves millions.
OF people Uao are resisting US despe-
rately
The fghtiDg 10 Cuba and the
Philippines will cost us many nillione
10 pensions. to sag nothing of the lives
Of our citizens. The death roll In the
var With Spaio went up to pearly
5000. about $500 Of our soldiers
having died io that campaign of disease
We have lest almost 1000 neu iu
tie Philippines 10 less than three
;1oD,hs. and now the worst season Of
the year and The fercest fighting We
have yet confronted there are both upon
us.
There is another item that will iu
crease the cost Of our new policy Of
miltarism. The peace treaty which
both the Uoited States and Spain have
ratified contains this provision.
"The Uuited States and Spain mu-
,nally reliuquish all claims for iDdemn'-
ty, natioDal aod individual, of every
kind, eiher government or Of it's
citizens OF subjects, against the other
government that may have arisen since
the beginning OF the late insurrection in
Cuba, acd prior to the exchange Of
ratifcations Of the present treaty, 10.
Guiding all claims for indemnity for the
cost Of var. The United States will ad-
judica,e and settle the claims OF its citi.
zens against Spain relirQuished 10 this
article"
1t will be remembered that during
the Cubao insurrec.ion and after We
took hand iD Cuba the number of
persons in that island who claimed to
be citizens Of the Uuited States became
remarkably large Claims against our
governments 70 the amount $40, ,000,OO0,
have already been fled ir Washington
and they are still coming.
We may have to plauk down $25.-
900, 600 or $50, 100000 more 90 this.
score
We will pay very dearly fer recent
war experience before we are done
with it.-As.anta Journal.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-04-05
Heroea the Pen.

The intensity of application with
which the mind follows whatever 1t
laws hold of in literary pursuits is ex-
emplifed in the case of Robert Aims
worth, a celebrated writer and anti
ouarian of the seventeenth century. He
had been for years engaged in voluml'
nous Latin dictionary, and while fas-
cinated with this beroic work gave so
little time and attention to his wife
that be incurred her bitterest jealousy,
and before the work was quite complete
she committed the whole to the famea
Instead of abandoning himself to de-
spair, Ainsworth set to work and re-
wrote it, accomplishing the entire work
in time The same bitter disappoint-
ment was endured with similar herolsm
by Carlyle when the manuscript OF his
"Frederick the Great" was destroyed
nv fire
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-04-05
STROKES OF A RAZOR.
How Many Do You Suppose 1t Takes
to Shave q Man:

How Many Do You Suppose 1T Takes
to Shave q Man:
"Now that you've finished shaving
me, how many strokes of the razor did
it reQuire?" asked the man in the chair,
as he Strengthened up to have his hair
combed.
'tThat's pretty hard to tell, - said the
barber.
"Of course it is. But you've been in
the business how long?''
Fifteen years.
You ought to know by this time
about how many strokes of the razor it
requires to shave man, supposing that
you go over his face second time.
''I might make guess at it..
"A1l right. WHAT'S your guess? Re-
member that have hard beard. :"
"Weli, should say about 1875.
aYou're a good guesser, don't
think. Some time ago got into the
habit of counting the strokes of razor
every time was being shaved. It's a
good way to employ your mind. In
shaving me- You just made 732 strokes
with the razor. -
.sI wouldn' have believed it. y
''No man believes it until he takes
the trouble to count. In my case never
knew the number to fall below 500.
and it has gone more than 800 at times.
call it stroke every time the razor
is brought forward and then drawn
back. should judge that there are no
fewer than 500 strokes in first class
shave. You remember that, and proba-
bly, you can win few bets. New
York World.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-04-05
FOOLED IN A HORSE TRADE
This Animal Possessed Several Re-
markabIe Traits.


A prominent English landlord was
one day riding across a common adj
jacent to his preserves when he over
took one of his tenants, who was also
mounted After the usual salutations
they rode on in silence for some min
utes, when the tenant slightly spurred
his horse. balky animal whereupon
it dropped to its knees
whats the matter with your
horse?'' asked his lordship. The en-
barrassed tenant remarked by way Of
explanation that his steed always acted
that way when there was game to be
found
A moment later, to the tenants sat
isfaction and surprise, a frightened hare
Jumped out of some bushes near by.
This so impressed the landlord that
he at once drove a bargain by which he
secured the tenants barebacked beast
in exchange for his own fine mount.
perfectly saddled With much agility
the tenant leaped to his new horse, and
all went we'll until they came to a
small stream. whereat the landlord s
new nag Immediately baked 4 drive
home with the spurs brought it again
to its knees
'Hello. what's up now? There's no
game here, said his lordship.
"True, my lord was the ready re-
ply, "but forgot to tell you 'ee's as
good for fish as ee is for game. San
Francisco Argonaut.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-04-05
CLOTHES SPECIALS.
Queer Pockets and Things Tailor.
Have to Put IN Garments.


'tNo sr.ecial. .
With That remark to the assistant
who took down the measurements the
tailor dismissed his patron and said
that the suit would be finished ''sure'
on certain day.
'What did you mean by saying no
special to your clerk?'' asked the Gus
toner.
sWell, that means that you want
your clothes made all right and without
any crank things about them. Pockets
are the great specials We have Gus
toners who want. besides the regular
pockets, places in their waistcoats for
pencils. eyeglasses and all sorts Of
things. Some pencil pockets are made
to hold only one pencil and some for a
bunch. Eyeglass pockets are also or
dered in keeping with the shape and
style Of the glasses, and pockets for
cigars are ordered for all Sizes from the
little half pencil shape to the great
big perfecto. Freak pockets, inside Of
other pockets, are also in demand, and
chamois lined pockets, which we usual
ly make for the watch side of the waist
coat, are ordered often for trousers by
men who carry silver trinkets in them. >
Another class of special customers
are those whose garments are made
with view to the wearer's health.
Many men have an inner band of red
flannel put on the waist of their trou-
sers as cure for rheumatism, and some
driving coats are made so that sheets
of stout paper may be slipped between
the breast lining and the cloth when
driving against the wind
"On the whole, said the tailor, "a
man in my business has the best oppor-
tunity to find out the kinks and queer
points about men, not only as to their
persons, but their minds. New York
Tribune
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-04-05
Cuban Assembly's
Special Committee.
Two of the Mem bers Have
Arrived ct Washington.

Washington. March 28.--Senors
Jose R. Villalcp and A. Hevia. who
we're appointed by the Cuban assembly
to present to the Washington authorities
the resolutions of that body. have
arrived in this city. The mission in
addition to the presentation OF the
resolutions is to explain 10 detail the
situation With reference to the insurgent
arny. While the assembly did uos
reject the S3.000.000. which Gen.
Gomez arranged with Mr.. Robert T:
Porter to receive aud pay off the Crban
troops, they believe it to be entirely
inadequate to meet the situation They
desire at least SO. 900, 900. and as muet
more as can be obtained
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-04-05
BABY's PHOTOGRAPH.
An Example of What the Man OF tina
Camera EndEres.


A young photographer, when asked
what sort of subjects presented the
greatest difficulties to him, replied
without moments hesitation, "Ba-
bies.
ssEor instance, he continued, II
took photographs Of little 1o-months-
cid fellow the other day in six different
positions Yesterday sent proofs to
his mother, and today she brought them
in.
IS I'm sorry she said, without any
obvious grief, shut none of these mega
tives will do.
g Not one of the six:' I inquired,
though was prepared for what was to
follow.
.ssNo,' she said, Tim afraid not
You see, I like this one very we'll,
though, of course, it doesn't do baby
Justice, but his Aunt Ellen says it's an
absolute caricature of the dear little
fellow. The one she likes don't care
for at all, and his papa says ne should
never know for whom it was intended.
it looks so cross, and baby is such a SUM-
shiny child.
IS 'The one he likes, this smiling one,
shouldn't consider for moment, for
it makes baby's mouth look so much
larger than it really is.
His grandmother chose that one,
but as Cousin Fanny said, there's
very queer look to the child's eyes in it
very queer! However, she likes that
one where he's almost crying, that So
ber one. You ought to have heard ba-
by's grandfather when she said she
liked it.
he really decided the thing, for
what he said seemed so sensible. He
asked me why didn't have scme more
taken and see if there wouldn't be at
least one that would really look like
baby. Now, when can he sit again? It's
hard for me to spare the time, but you
see it is the only thing to be, doneP -
Glasgow Herald.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-04-05

Sugaripg Mark Hanna and Presi.
dent Mckinley and party beats print
ers' ink in advertising the South.
Can't those Georgetown fellows get
Mr Mckinley to try weeks hunt
ing at Pawley island.
A Meeting of the Stockholders OF
the South Carolina and Georgia Rail-
road Company will be held in Char
lesion, S C, on the 29th of April.
1t is proposed that the Campany
should guarantee the payment OF the
principal and interests of First Mort.
gage Gold Bonds Of the par value OF
One Million Eight Hundred Thou
sane Dollars 81. 800. .c00) of the South
Carolina and Georgia Extension
Railroad Company, said Bonds to
bear interest at four and a.hslf per
cent, and it is also proposed that
the Company should guarantee the
payment of the principal and inter-
ests of First Mortgage Gold Bonds
of the par value of One Hundred
Thousand Dollars ($l00,000) of the
Sumter and Wateree River Bailroad
Company, said Bonds to bear Eve
per cent interest, payable semi-au'
nually.
Singapore. March 2s-Trouble is
brewing in the island of Negros.
where the inhabitants repudiate the
self constituted authority of Aniseto
Lacson, President of the Provisional
Government, to arrange affairs with
the Americans The censor at
Manila suppressed the details
The insurgents in Luzon sent mes.
sage to Lieut. Commander Cowpee,
of the British gunboat Plover, when
the latter endeavored to effect cosf:
promise, suggesting that they were
ready to treat for peace though a
neutral great Power.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-04-05
An odd Collection.

One of the most remarkable collec-
tions of souvenirs ever made is a colleo-
ton of male opera hats by one of the
actresses of q London company. She
owns no fewer than ZIG of these artl-
cles, for it was her whim to make every
Young man who was introduced to her
give her his opera hat as a souvenir.
She not only keeps them in their prls-
tine condition, but converts them into
all sorts of other things, such as photo
graph frames, workbaskets, and some
are even used for the purpose of bolding
fowerpots.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-04-05

Chicago, March 30.-This after.
noon and evening Chicago was visited
by a heavier snow storm than pre-
vailed at any time during the regular
winter months The snow fall. al
though not over four inches on the
level, was badly drifted by forty
mile wind, which drove it though the
down. town streets in clouds The
storm was general throughout the
Northwest, the reports showing that.
while grea. inconvenience was oc-
ca.ioned out little damage was done
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-04-05
Some Clerical Jokes.

"Do you have mathis IN your
.church?'' ''No, we prefer linoleum. "
Another clerk gave out in church, "Let
us sing to the praise and glory Of God
q hymn of my own composure. - A
lady asked the dean to read at her bed
side "that beautiful lesson - there
was summat about greaves in it.. Tho
dean read her / Samuel, xvii. "She
listened with arms outstretched and
made 20 comment until came to the
verse, He had greaves of brass upon mis-
legs At this she raised her hands IN
ecstasy and said, 'Ah, them greaves,
them beautiful greavesp "-"Phases OF
NV Life" by Dean Pigou.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-04-05
Tragic.
Scene-A railway carriage.
INpff fF

6cene-A railway carriage.
First Artist-Children don't seem to
me to sell now as they used.
Second Artist lin hoarse whisper)
Well, / was at Stodge's yesterday.
He had just knocked off three little
girls heads, horrid raw things, when
dealer came in, sir, bought 'em direct
ly, took 'em away wet as they were on
the stretcher and wanted Stodge to let
him have some more next week.
Old Lady quitting her head out OF
the window and shrieking) = Guard,
stor the train and let me out, or III be
rdered!-London Tit.Bits.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-04-05
Successful Physicians.

We heartily recommend DR.. Hathaway s CO.
Of :2fa S Broad St., Atlanta, Ga. ss being pes.
fectiy reliable and remarkably Successful II th9'
treatment of chronic diseases Of men and women.
They cure when others fail. Our readers If u
these eminent doctors and you will receive freq
and expert opinion of your case by return may
without cost.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-04-05
ANY PERSON

Wishing to know the truth in regard to thel!
health should not fail to send for a valuable anG
new e4-paee Booklet which will bo sent FREE
for M short time to these who mention this paper
This book is published by the celebrated physi..
clans and specialists- Hathaway al 60 OF
22,a S. Broad ST.. Atlanta, Ca. whom you should
address, Write to-day.
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-04-05

A man who is overshrewd in his
business relations is pretty sure to learn
in the course Of time that the world IS
shrewd enough to protect itself against
him.-Somerville Journal
The watchman and southron. [volume] (Sumter, S.C.) 1881-1930, 1899-04-05
TO Be Avoided.
by fire.

Mrs. De Sour want you to keep
your dog out of my house. It's full OF
deas.
Mrs De Smart-Mercy on mel Fido.
come here, sirl Don't you go into THAI
house again. It's full of feas- s--Jewlsh
Comment