davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
THE JOKERS' BUDGET.
Perennial.

Perennial.
We weep for the past, the dead, dead
past,
With many a bitter tear,
But we never inquire, oh, where, oh,
where,
Are the jokes of yesteryear?
For yesteryear, and the year before,
And the years to come. if you please,
The years of time. that unnumbered
are
They are all as one to thsse!
Detroit Journal.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
Feeding Crops ait Home.

Edward Atkinson has advised the
farmers to compress their cornstalks
into bales for market as they do their
hav. A writer in the New York Trib-
me suggests that they had better COM
press their hay, stalks and grain into
milk and market them in that form.
Rut cannot that be improved upon?
why not compress the milk into butter
and cheese. and the balance Of the fod-
der and grain into beef, pork and NUT
ton or good, well-trained young horses?
Then they would be selling less of the
fertility OF the farm, and more of their
labor and skill, and paying less tribute
to the railroads and other ransporta-
tion companies. When it takes the price
of a bushel of grain or Of two bushels
as it did few years ago to pay for
carving another bushel to the con-
SINNER. or when the farmer can get for
his hay but one-half what the consumer
has to paw, he should look about to see
how he can compress his products into
packages Of less weight and bulk, that
he NAV receive more Of the proceeds for
If. and the railroads less. And when he
flnds that of every dollar he receives for
PRODUCTS one-han must go to restore
to the soil that which the crop has taken
from it, he should look to see il he cam
not manage to retain at home some Of
the nitrogen, potash and phosphoric
acid that he is sending away, and which
he replaces from the mines of Chile,
Germany and South Carolina
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
The Ruling Passion.

s'This morning"
The gent in the arrowed suit looked
very much pleased as he soliloquized.
''The guard told me that | was be-
ginning to be a model prisoner"
His singularly acute face frightened.
II trust" he went on, chat | shall
soon be chainless model"
Once more he began to file away at
the manacles that adorned his we'll
shaped ankle.-Pearson's Weekly.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
A Severe Summary.

sIt's wonderful" said the man with
the solemn air of erudition, what a
difference slight matter will make in
the worlds estimate of a man.
1T isn't SO in literature, = was the
answer. "a man must have merit
there =
Not necessarily. # he gets his
spelling wrong that's plain ignorance.
But if he gets his facts and logic al
twisted that's plain originality. 8
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
Baby Was Justified,

Teasing Friend-What makes that
new baby at your house cry so much,
Tommy?
Tommy, Indignantly don't cry so
very much, and anyway, if all your
teeth were out, and your hair of, and
your legs SO weak You couldn't stand
on them, / guess you'd feel like crying
yourself. New Orleans Times-Demo-
crat.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
At Bay.

Mr.. Meeker had stood it longer than
usual this time, and he decided to as
sert himself.
my DEAR" he said to Mrs Meeker,
as she paused for breath, IF there is
any truth in this idea of reincarnation,
/ know what you were before you be-
came a human being. You were a
powder mill. Chicago Tribune.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
Merely His Opinion.

Mr.. Skim Flint, Sr.-No, sir; will
not add another penny to your allow
ance. You do not seem to appreciate
the value of money. / would have you
understand, sir, that money makes
the mare 60"
His Son (sulkily) -Judging from the
amount you give me you must think
I'm running an automobile. -Harper's
Bazaar.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
al Cast off,Name.

What are they going to call your
new brother, JackY'
ooh, l don't know-Jack, | guess"
.'But that's your name"
'.That doesn't make any difference.
1t was papa's before had it. Pa and
ma have way of maxim us boys use
up their old things
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
Our Elastic Language.

First Customer wish to select a
vase.
Floor Walker-Yes, madam. James,
show this lady to the crockery depart
ment.
Second Customer wish to select a
yaWZ.
Floor Walker-Yes, madam. George,
show the lady to the bric-a-brac de-
artment.-New York Weekly.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
A Non Suit.

my entire future depends upon the
favor you show my suit, )" he pleaded.
Yes, Mr.. Sharp" replied the beauti-
full young heiress, coldly. II have
heard that you refer to me as your
long suit. "-Philadelphia North Amer
lean.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
IIsefu1 Food Hints.

Plain tapioca boiled in water with
stick Of cinnamon and a pinch of salt
and served hot with sugar and cream Is
a simple and wholesome dessert.
Vary your salads from day to day,
and when you reach the end of the COM
mon varieties try an onion salad with
mild, fresh red peppers chopped fine
and the seeds removed, and with cress,
parsley or cheryil chopped fine and
strewed over the top.
A Chicago baker has acquired pop
ularity through steamed bread, which
is white bread cooked like our we'll
known brown loaves, which appear
with baked beans. The crust is tender
and the round shape is very nice for
either table use or sandwiches.
Chervil, which is used like parsley for
garnishing or favoring, can be raised
in a window box in the Kitchen, for 1t is
hardy little plant.
Eat bananas, canteloupe, mushmelon
and watermelon with salt, instead or
sugar. and pepper, if you like, and note
the improvement in favor
When making jelly wet the bags in
water before putting in the fruit and
prevent the waste of the Juice, as well
ease the process Of straining.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
Nearly as Good.

MY good woman said the clergy
man to the sorely tried matron, did
you ever try heaping Goals of fire on
your husbands head?
No, yourriverence, but Owe thrown
a lighted lamp at him once or twice. -
Tit-Bits.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
ACorrect Statement.

'sWell, / never thought that Jonesy
would de NATURAL DEATH" said
Snaggs, when he had been told of the
passing away of man he had known.
Il didn't say he died natural
DEATH" said Dinwiddie.
''You told me he died in bed.''
But it was folding bed" Pitts
burg Chronicle Telegram.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
True to Nature.

She-What good picture!
He-No, it isn't. was not we'll, and
looked like an idiot that morning.
She Gntently studying the photo
graph WE'LL it looks exactly like you,
any way.-Judge.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
Uncertain.

rs this the beginning of the end?
asked the casual churchgoer, as the
minister seemed to approach a perora-
alton.
Il don't know whispered the reg
ular attendant. 1T may be only the
end of the beginning. PUCK.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
AS to the Rooters.

Think they are college menY'
II don't know. There are some col
lege men whose lungs are more vigor-
Gus than their brains. Puck.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14

being an unneces-
sary piece Of cruel
ty. Use a bit Of
canvas cut and fit
ted In the manner
shown In the cut,
with rings to slip
over the horns and
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
The Old-Time Kitchen.


A song of old-time kitchens and their
joys,
A song Of old-time kitchens. and song
of diaries, too,
When great-grandsires were only little
boys,
And great-grandmothers played and
romped as children used to do.
A peep within old-fashioned dairies,
where
The generous shelves were always
heaped with goodies, row on row;
A glance within old pantries, white and
fair,
And wholesome cupboards, with their
sparkling dishes all aglow;
For o, the kitchens then were fairy land,
And all the children thought the cooks
must fairy people be,
When, as it seemed to them, at their
command,
The ovens were opened, and the feasts
were such sight to see,
And there, the great boar's head, all
roasted brown,
Stood ready on its mighty platter
plenty and to spare,
A little later with it's holly crown,
TO lead a long procession loaded DOWN
with dainties rare.
And here, a vast plum pudding, round
and tall;
A pudding such as only old-time chill
dren knew about:
And heaps of cake, and home-preserves'-
and all
The riches of the larder, that no teast
was full without,
And happy, smiling faces, everywhere
The faces of the grown-up people, ana
the children, too,
And bygone melodies, as sweet mad rare
AS joyous laughter, echoing the dear
old kitchens through.
A song of old-time kitchens and their
joys,
A song Of old-time kitchens, and song
of dairies. too.
When great-grandsres were only little
boys.
And Observation-Disclosures played and
romped as children used to do.
Boston Courier.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14

strap to fasten beneath the jaw. Let
the rings slip on the horns far enough
50 the cloth will not easily come off,
American Agriculturist.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14

Hereafter bells that can be heard
a;stance of 500 feet must be attached
70 ali scayenger wagons in Chicago
ana those bells must be rung continu-
ously while the wagons are N service
which NAV be between sunset and sun
rise.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
B1indfo1ding am Animal.

Breechy cattle are often forced to car
ry heavy board binder upon their
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
Porto Rico Guano.

It's reported that samples of Porto
Rican guano, or something called BY
that name, have been sent to this c0un-
rywith q view OF selling it here for fer
tiiizing. 1t is said to show an analysis
Of about IL per cent. Of insoIuble phos-
phoric acid, nearly "a per cent. potash
and less than / per cent. OF nitrogen.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
Ingenuity of Ants.

A naturalist found that black ants
were deyouring the skins Of some bird
specimens on table, so he made tar cir
cles on four pieces Of paper, and put
one under each leg Of the table. Ants
VIII not cross tar. Pretty soon he found
the ants busily at work again, and,
looking at the tar circles, found each
one was bridged by bits Of sand, which
the clever ants had brought in from the
street.
Protecting Apple Trees from Rabbits
Put an old cloth mitten on one hand;
take box of axle grease In the other
hand. Then take . little grease on the
mitten and rub up and down the tree
TIL you get little all over as high as
the rabbits can reach. Do not put too
much on, Just little all over. Don't
be afraid to use 1t for fear u hurting
the trees.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Corn.

We are not prepared to assert that
yellow corn is more valuable for feed
ing purposes than white corn, but we
believe that Northern yellow corn Is
better than Southern white corn Of the
same years harvest. It may be because
of more thorough rlpening, but we
think the fact has been proven both by
analysis and by feeding tests. This has
been used as an argument to persuade
Northern farmers to grow their own
corn, which we think they can afford to
do, even if it lis not better than South
ern, If the farmer has light, warm land,
easily cultivated, and plenty of help to
work it at fair rate Of wages. Of
course the gardener near large city
can grow crops more profitable, and he
could not afford to grow field corn on
land that is assessed at valuation Of
$1,000 or $1,000 per acre, nor to employ
labor at, So day to work it. To pay
such taxes and labor cost he needs eth
er two or three crops year from his
land, or crop that will yield $500 or
more per acre.-American Cultivator.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14

i barometer thirty-six feet long has
been placed on the tower Of 9 Paris
Church.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
A pie Cutter.

It is a matter of common experience
that it is not an easy task to juggle
piece Of cake or pie on an ordinary or
even a pastry knife, particularly II It
is pie. A Pennsylvania genius, John l..
Cans. of Connellsville, realizing this
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14

This would be $40 pounds of insoluble
phosphoric acid, valued by experiment
stations at cents pound, or $6.4O q
ton. The 48 pounds Of potash at AZ
cents would be $2.16, and 20 pounds
nitrogen at 1914 cents would be $3.1O
This would show possible valuation OF
about SLID per ton at old rates, but we
think prices now are little lower. We
doubt, too, if 1t can be taken out so free
from soil or other poorer material that
a cargo would analyZe as high as the
samples sent, and it would scarcely pay
the cost of importation unless sold high
er than So ton when bagged. Farm
ers would do better to grow nitrogen In
clover, COW peas or other heterogeneous
crops, and buy potash as muriate and
phosphoric acid in acid phosphate, in
which it is soluble. One hundred pounds
of muriate of potash contains 80 to 81
pounds, or more than is in ton OF the
Porto Rican deposit, and a ton of acid
phosphate should have about 26O pounds
of soluble phosphoric acid, worth about
6 cents pound, or more than twice as
much as the $40 pounds of insoluble
material.-Exchange
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14

ing the winters.
Cow Peas.
Cow peas may stand until the first
pods get full grown, but not ripe. ms
lis especially necessary if they are to be
fed to young stock Of any kind. At this
stage they have the bone, muscle, hair
and wool elements in them, and not too
much fat. We wish we could impress
feeders that fatty foods like corn and
beans and peas when ripe are positively
hurtful to growing stock. A little corn
or fat-making feed is needed In cold
weather to keep up animal heat. Hun
dreds of thousands of pigs, colts and
young cattle are annually stunted and
dwarfed by food where the fat is out
Of all proportion to the bone and muscle
making part Of the feed.
The margin is SO small now we must
look into these details, the observance
or neglect of which may turn the scales
to failure instead Of a success. TO ex-
press it another way, growing animals
must have protein feed, and fattening
animals food rich in fats. To those VINO
want to feed fattening stock, milch cows,
brood sows and breeding ewes let beans
and peas get to that stage we call fod-
der. Let the seeds get into a hard
dough. At this stage pea pods will be-
gin to turn yellow and dead leaves at
the base of the stem turn yellow. The
beans must he thoroughly field cured
and the seeds get dry and hard, for the
reason that in 100 pounds Of soy bean
seed there is only small fraction less
than seventeen pounds of oil or fatty
matter. If they are bulked damp they
will heat and mold. Peas are not 50
rich in fat and will stand bulking
sooner.
Cut with moving machine for hay.
Peas are hard to pitch off the wagon.
We take a hay knife and cut the load
the long way, and cross cut it two or
three times, when they are as easily
handled as common hay.-Farmer's
Advocate
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
Care of Tools.


There ought to be a society for the
prevention of cruel and abusive use Of
farming tools and machinery. When
we see moving machines and reapers
sheltered in winter under apple trees,
plows and harrows in fence corners,
and other tools just where the owner
left them when he used them last, we
feel indignant, says the American Gull
tivator. We know that it helps to make
trade good for. the manufacturer. and
gives employment to many men who
must supply new tools in place of those
rusted and broken, but we know that
before the new ones are bought many
horse will work harder on these ma
chimes than he would have needed to If
they had been properly cared for, and
men and boys must work harder as well
and do less effective work. Some tools
we know are not sheltered because the
owner has not roof enough to cover all
that he owns, but in more cases 1t is but
the result Of carelessness. This is one
of the leaks on the farm that prevent
the stream Of prosperity from filling
the farmers pockets and building up his
bank account. Try to have them all
housed before winter, and before spring
comes have them overhauled and
cleaned, iron work oiled, wood painted
and every part in working order to be-
gin with the next season.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1899-12-14
Washing Flannel.

Flannel should always be washed
with white soap, or it will neither look
well nor feel soft The water must be
warm, but not boiling, as it shrinks fam
mel to scald it. Wash it in clean water,
and entirely by itself. Rub the soap to
a strong lather in the water before the.
flannel is put in, for if the soap is
rubbed on the flannel itself it will be-
come hard and stiff. Wash it in this
manner through two warm waters with
a strong lather in each. Rinse it in
another warm water with just sufficient
soap in it to give the water a slightly
whitish appearance. To this rinsing
water add little blue. Cold rinsing
water lardens flannel. When rinsed
thoroughly wiring it hard, shake well,
and spread it on the clothesline. While
drying shake well, stretch, turn it. 1t i
should dry slowly. Flannel always
washed precisely in this way will look
white and feel soft as long as it Lasts
retaining new appearance and scarce
ly shrinking at all.
Stewed Steak and Vegetables.
Get thick slice Of beefsteak weigh
ing about two pounds and put in stew
pan with sliced ear. OF, turnip and onion,
six peppercorns, two cloves, six alispicA
AID bunch of savory herbs. Barely
cover the meat with stock or water, put
on fhe lid and stew gently for two hours
and half
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-06-07
TUBERCULOSIS COWS AT
THE ILLINOIS SToCKYARDS
Governor Tanner Alarmed Over the Stu
alton and VIII Favor the Exier.
mnation OF All Such Cattle.

CHICAGO, June 6.-After the post
mortem examination Of the tuberculosis
cows killed at the stockyards. Governor
Tanner said; Il am convinced that tu-
berculosis has made more general ir-
vasion OF live stock that is generally be-
leived, and also am confident that such
condition. II not remedied by proper
laws and liberal appropriation from the
state. will have results more serious than
mere loss OF cattle.
Il shall recommend at the next meets
ing of the legislature that the state board
OF livestock commissioners be given an
appropriations OF at least $4,000 with
which TO carry on the work of extermir.
a,ing tuberculosis cattle. l shall also
exert my influence in obtaining for the
commissioners more authority.
''The appropriation this year for this
work was $500. The commissioners asked
for $20,0OO | myself was instrumental in
cutting down the sum requested. Having
seen conditions as they exist, shall take
a personal interest now in the matter
and spare all necessary time In aiding
the board, whose work is, to say the
least. practically humanitarian.
'My observations lead me to believe
that 1t is not safe to drink milk which
Is not known positively to be nonstuber-
culosis. The cattle which have seen
slaughtered and dissected today, and
which saw were saturated with tubercu-
losls, ten days ago were furnishing milk
to mg family. l did not institute this
investigation. had no reason to believe
that the milk sold me was otherwise than
pure. The fact Is that, like thousands
OF others who drink milk I never ques.
toned Its purity. And there is the Sc
cret Of the official negligence which ha:
permitted this disease to make such prog
ress I am glad my eyes have beer
opened. The recent awakening OF public
interest on the subject will have practical
results.
"What is necessary Is this: The live.
stock commissioners must be given police
power to enter any and all dairles for the
purpose of testing the cattle with the
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-06-07

tuberculIn test. They must coniiscato to
the state all cattle that show symptoms
Of tuberculosis infection. They must also
be allowed enough money 10 remunerate
the former owners OF such conascated
cattle. The cattle must then be slaugh-
tered and destroyed"
In view OF The encouragement given the
by Governor Tanner, the
livestock board held a meeting at the
Great Northern Hotel and adopted plans
for the summers work. New rules were
adopted in accordance with the advice
given by the governor that the commits
siOners utilize as vigorously as possible
al the authority given them under tho
present law. The livestock commissioners
today started on tour OF Inspection OF
ialries in McHenry county.
II the Cuban soldiers viii not accept
their 10000 allowance for services as
the money might be
brought back home and used In raising
Of men who know how to fight.
The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1899-06-07
Wars of the Future Will Be
Fought on the Sea, Not
on Land.
COUNTRY IN RIGHT MOOD
Emotions Excited by Return Of Dewey
Fsyors a Bettsr Understanding
Of Naval Needs.

NEW YORK, June 6.-The Independent
this week will contain an article By Rear
Admiral sampson on the United States
navy in which he says:
II have long believed thai the navy
OF the United States Is not adequate to
the needs Of the nation. and in spite OF
our victory, events Of the past year have
tended strongly to confirm the view
had before the war begun.
"FUr any army increase, fail to see
the necessity. II is hardly conceivable
that We could use large army except
Tor wars OF foreign conquest which the
sentiment OF our country would not per.
nit. No power except Great Britain could
could hope to attack US successfully upon
land. No two powers combined could
hope to effect anything Nagainst Us By
sending an army TO this country.
Three thousand miles OF water protect
Us from all except one possible enemy
Great Britain-who has Of late SHOWN
most unmlstakably that she desires per-
manent peace and closest friendship.
Foreign armies, therefore, do not con
stNute the danger to this country. The
possible wars which confront US are naval
wars, and in order to wage them sue
cessfully We need more ships. l believe
that We should have at least twice as
many ships as our navy al present
counts.
The. present is good time to press
the needs OF the navy upon the country
which will soon be quivering from END TO
end with the emotions produced by the
reception Of the hero OF Manila. The
extraordinary and widespread disposl-
ton to do him honor can scarcely be
otherwise than pleasing to all the officers
OF the navy. No man could possibly have
done more thoroughly than Dewey what
he set out to do, and that Is the test.
His fame Is secure for the future.