People's voice., 1899-07-20
Atchison Globe PhiIosoohv
Success is the only thing that saves
a apolitical career from being disrepu-
table.

- N'N~UNi Ohdu WOmdu WHO cdr
make a good speech.
One of the most uncomfortable
things in LIE is the ease with which
everything gets out OF order, from
your liver to your water pipes.
Its always great shock to woman
to hear preacher express a desire 10
go to Paris; his longing should be to
visit the Holy land.
At every wedding, there Is disap.
pointment when the groom feels in
his pocket, and finds the ring. Every
one hoped he wouldn't tndit, in orde.
70 enjoy a sensation.
The groom at a wedding doesn't
know it, perhaps, but his brides
mother has her hands near her hus
bands coat tails, expecting him to
rise and forbid the marriage.
You know how men are tempted to
tell fish stories? Well Emil Schreiber
who has just returned from a fishing
trip in Western Kansas, talks more
about the big corn crop than about
his fishing trip.
Why do boys go camping, and sleep
and eat in the dirt, when they might
be comfortable at home? Why do
young men 60 as soldiers, and run the
risk OF dying Of disease? Are they
looking for something they never find?
An AtchisOn girl is writing novel
which will be true TO life, Instead Of
receiving three proposals, the heroine
sat on her front steps alone until she
was 25, when she joined the chasers,
and at last caught sick man who
couldn't escape.
II there are no flies on you, it may
be that the credit is not due TO your
activity, but to the screens.
1t is every woman's secret fear that
her husband may get mad, and "scold
about something" before company.
Out here in the west, young people
dig potatoes, and fud it fully as
healthful and picturesque as playing
golf. 1t is certainly less idiOtic.
When girls reads Of heroine in a
novel, she longs for some trouble to
stir the monotOny Of her life, so that
she can show the Stuff She is Made Of.
At least one thing can be said to
the credit Of the Town Bad Man Of
Atchison: he never repeats the bad
stories he hears, but when he hears a
good thing said Of anyone, he always
repeats it,
The kissing bug can be identified
by the fact that it has no eyes. At
least, since certain girl claims that
one of the bugs kissed her, it has been
decided that the bug must be blind.
Half the men in the world seem to
be inventing appliances to make a
woman's work easier, and half the
woman are employed in roasting the
men because they have to work so
hard.
The Pig Creek literary society lately
discussed this question: "lf a young
man is engaged to young woman,
and afterward discovers that she has
a cancer, should he break the engage
ment?" 1t was decided that theyOung
man should marry the girl, and take
her to a doctor at once.
The trouble with wash clothes for
men is that they always need washing.
II you accomplish anything in this
life, you will have no time to attend
committee meetings.
Before believing every report you
hear, it is we'll to remember that you
occasionally ysee man walking around
that you had heard was dead.
Some literary society should decide
what constitutes success ln life, Is
every one who fails to get rich enough
to pay off the mortgage on the old
home, a failure?
The cheaper the man the toUghe
the story he will tell or believe.
When a woman takes an interest in
a very young man, he thinks it is
love.
When a man over fifty marries, he
should pick out woman who is a
good nurse.
One thing people can't understand,
aud that is how those they hate do so
we'll in life.
When a girl Of ten is an aunt, it
means that she is also a nurse girl
pay.
Honestly, now, isn't the kissing bug
the ordinary two legged creature we
build jails for?
Everything cannot 90 to suit you,
l.. q l.