davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17

The burdens Of taxation laid upon
liquor saloons are regarded with
equanimity by the average citizen. The
decision Of the commissioner Of inter-
nal revenue requiring the payment Of
a special tax by proprietors Of rum sa-
looms who may employ an orchestra
to attract customers will be accepted
as justifiable and exemplary. The per-
Torrance is held to be a musical enter
of misery may be protected by law, but
it's maintenance ought to be discour'
aged in all legal ways.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17
English In Headlines.

The Waterbury Republican laughs
at the New Haven paper which alludes
pathetically to a fatal drowning &C.
cident.' This recalls the headline in
an esteemed Hartford contemporary
recently, which, with equal pathos,
read: "Suicide His Last Act" Very
Observation-Disclosures Courant.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17

Sutton - Beg pardon for i%nterrupt-
ing, but l-er-have just come-er
that is, l have just been speaking to
your daughter, and she referred me to
YOU. Old Gentleman-Gee crickets! I
wonder if that girl thinks am made OF
money. You are about the fortieth bill
collector she has sent in to-day. If She
doesn't marry pretty soon, I'll be bank,
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17
At TIE Thcatcr.

Behold ne,
The C mend!
Gloating over my triumphs,
Past, present and to come.
] am the man with the
Large, s%patulate hands
And the ample, open NOUN,
Like a decorative wreath.
When any one sings a song
Or tells a story or
Otherwise performs on the stage
! clap and clap
Ard clap
Long after everybody else
Has stopped.
There's got to be an encore
Or the show can't go on.
] won't let it.
III beat NY big hands
Together and stamp and
llo!ler if ! want to.
If | get tired | lean
one arm on the arm OF the seat
And clap with slow, loud
Chaps
Till ] get my second wind.
Then ! let myself loose
Again.
I'm after my moneys worth, and
Usually T get it,
And | don't care if people
DO stare.
There's another song finished!
NOW watch me make en-
DO it all over
Again!
What! They won't?
Oh. I guess yes,
Just wait till | get my arms
Loose and begin TO
Work. Just
Watch!
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17
Not a Sportsman.

The other day a MAJ of Holland
armed with a shotgun, was pursuing {
poor lame quail, which had been limp,
ing %leisurely along, about ten yards
ahead.
why, WilGejager," called out the
farmer, who was watching the pro
ceedings, YOU'RE never going to shoe
ina darned little chicken walking?'
Bonner und bitten, nein! | NJ
shoots him veil lie walk. l Wait unit
he ~zhstops,' said the Dutchman, an(
he did, tco.-Tacoma Ledger.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17
Wheels In His Poetry.

The editor ran his eye critically
over the manuscript the young poet
had rendered. 1T occurs to me-" he
said, you use a faulty form of speech
when you apostrophize the brave old
years What is there brave about the
years."
WELL" replied the young poet, with
some stiffness, there are comparative
~ few people who can make a century
run.'-Chicago Tribune.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17

An application has been made by S.
T.. Hutchins, John E. Patton and other
leading colored citizens of Chatta-
nooga, Tenn, for q charter for the Ma
tional American Colonization Associa-
ton, the object being to organize
branches in the southern states. The
association is formed with a view to
colonizing negroes in the west and Sc
curing from congress a concession to
allow the colonies so formed the right
OF state government and representa-
tiyes in congress-, etc. The plan was
organized by S. l.. Hutchins, a negro
lawyer, who has given the question OF
.'What to do with the negro?" a great
deal of study. Hutchins was a circuit
Judge in North Carolina during the
reconstruction days, and it is said OF
him that he cam nearer to giving sat
isfaction to the whites in his circuit
than any negro who ever held a like
Office. Hutchins gives a reason for
his proposed colony that "the people
of the United States should be given
an opportunity to see whether the ne
gro is capable of governing and hold
ing Office" The application for char
ter says that st is not fair to judge
of the negro's ability to conduct pub
lie affairs, to judge him by the fail
ures he has made in Office in the
south. Given an opportunity when
they are altogether dependent upon
themselves, the negro will solve the
question speedily as to whether he is
worthy CT citizenship and to be an in
tegral part Of the governing people"
Hutchins claims that a number of the
leading negroes of the south are in
sympathy with him in the movement.
At the dedication Of an immense
convention hall in Kansas City the
other afternoon, somebody uttered a
loud call for Pryor" one of the SOLO
lists with the Sousa band, which had
been engaged for the occasion. The
crowd Of people present mistook the
enthusiasts call for an alarm Of fire
and it was with great difficulty that a
panic was prevented. AS our civiliza-
ton advances and things become sys-
tematized it will, no doubt, be neces
sary even to suppress old and honor
able family names in the interests OF
public safety.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17
The Ramedy.

II am in favor of giving the Filipinos
independence" said one debater.
$50 am L. answered the other. "And
I'm satisfied that the United States
controls the only reliable brand, and
that if we can get them to hold still
and try it they will like it."-WasA.
ington Star.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17
100000 Sailors from One Shin.

The U. S. Receiving Ship Vermont.
now over so years old, has been the
school house for over 1000, 900 sailors,
The age and accomplishments are
much the same as ltostctter's Stomach
Bitters. which has been before the pub
lie for SO years. and has cured innum-
cradle eases OF malaria. fever and
ague. besides dyspepsia and indiges.
ton.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17
Or Course They Have.

smlth-Dld you notice that peculiar
sign on the door we just passed?
JOnes-No; what was it?
Smith-Orphans' Court.
Jones-I fail to see anything pecu-
liar about that. Orphans have as much
right to court as other people, haven't
they?-Chicago News.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17
For n Retreat.

He--"What is that you were just
trying on the piano." She-"Oh, that's
a new march, He-"Awfully fast
time, isn't it," Shelves; l think
the composer was in a hurry to get
through when he was writing it,
Yonksrs Statesman.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17

One Of the dogs entered for the Chi
Cago bench show is the possessor Of
gold-filled teeth, and therefore has an
intrinsic value which will remain even
il he doesn't draw a prize.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17

The sultan Of Sulu is to be offered
home rule under the American flag,
but he will never be able to realize the
full extent Of his good luck until he
hears from the dime museum man
ayers.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17

1t did not, however, require an Of
fetal note from Sampson to tell the
world hat Schley was there during
the d~enavyiZing of Spain.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17

What helped you over the great
trials of life?" a successful nan was
once asked. 1.-THE other trials gave me
a lift" he answered.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17
CHAPTER XIII.
An Incident,

BY the time we had been a month
at sea, having applied myself assidu-
ously to work, l picked up a little
knowledge of ~seamanship. l took my
turn CT watch with the rest; l learned
to go aloft and to lie upon a yard in
a stiff topgallant breeze. l acquired all
the mysteries Of knotting and splicing,
of serving a rope with spun-yarn,a and to
know the technical difference between
the rope itself and a line. l could
heave the log,box the compass and take
my trick at the helm with the best
man on board, and thus gained the
golden opinions Of those among whom
a rough turn of the wheel of fortune
had so strangely and so suddenly cast
me.
Some days after leaving the Cana
ries we found ourselves passing
through what seemed to be immense
meadows of green stuff adrift. BY
moonlight the branches, leaves and
fbers of this uprooted marine forest
for such it was, being wrack and sea-
weeds Of wondrous length s%pringing
from the lowest depths Of the ocean
s%parkled, flashed and whirled in the
fcaming eddies astern of the brig as
she cleft or brushed down the yielding
masses with her rushing keel.
l was never weary of surveying this
scene, which was so marvellous in its
beauty, when the moon was shining on
the sea.
These vast, broad leaves and long,
snaky tendrils that danced upon the
surface of the sea were the Florida
gulf-weed.
"The tropical grape of the Sailors"
said Hislop, as we leaned over the lee
quarter II night. These plants grow
upon the two great banks of the At
lantic, and were known to the Phoe-
n%iciars, who named them the Weedy
Sea-"
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17

When Senator Billy Mason talks Of a
Lafayette for the Philippines he for
gets that Lafayette was a friend of this
country.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17

Meat is worth 81 a pound in Manila,
This is probably due largely to the fact
that most of the Manila butchers have
recently gone into the saloon business.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17

Washington, it may be remarked,
was enough of an eXpansiOnist to
crowd the British invaders off the
United States. We need a Washing
ton right now.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17

A prisoner escaped from the Toledo
wOrkhouse and took the bloodhound
along with him. That man ought to
be at the head of some trust.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17
OUR BUDGET OF FUN,
SOME GOOD JOKES, ORIGINAL
AND SELECTED.

A Variety OF Jokes-Gibes ana ron'o
Original and Selected-Flotsah anu
Jetsam from the Tide OF Humor
Witty Sayings.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17

Arthur Balfour is the latest English
man to hint that John Bull is looking
for a partner, preferably a tall man
with a goatee and straps to his trou'
sers.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17

The name of the new president of
France is pronounced as though it
were spelled "Loobay."
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17

If the car means business why does
he not incorporate his disarmament
scheme under the laws of New Jersey?
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17

Gen. Miles is acting in a way that
fustifies the national honor in regard
ing him as a bold, horrid man.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17

The individual who stands still is
sure to lose ground.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17

1t may be ~cowardly TO kick a man
when he's down, but it's sometimes
safer than to wait for him to get up.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17

Hobson has kissed a bride in Japan.
The young man simply can't resist tho
temptation.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17

Beauty is but skin deep, but home
illness measures twelve inches to tho
foot.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17

When a man loses faith in humanity
he hits himself a solar-plexis blow.
The Black Hills union. [volume] (Rapid City, Pennington County, Dakota [S.D.]) 1889-1904, 1899-03-17

Mabel-Do you know that Lord Fitz-
monkey is about to visit us?
Dorothy-Yes; I heard yesterday
hat your father had signed a contract
with him.-Harper's Bazaar.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-05
NO MORE DANGER TO BE FEARED
From Rancid Oils, Diseased Fats, Grease or Dam
gerOus Alkali.
THE NEW SKIN SOAF
Made from the Fresh, Green Leaves of the Tas-
manian Blue Gum Tree.

Perhaps
obesu
added of
collected tfromh
efromn
hotels lin
has that
"'N -
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-05

Pinkey got lost-and found him-and then
/ got lost, and he found me, and brought us
both home"
Instantly a great ringing shout went up,
loud enough, happy enough to let Mrs. Law
ton know her boy was safe. Somebody fired
three shots from a revolver the signal
agreed upon, but they were perfectly need
less. Teddy and Mister Pinkey came into
the circle OF flittery torchlights, very tired,
but very happy. AS Mr.. Lawton hugged his
boy hard Mister Pinkey put his forefeet up
against him and nuzzled at his pocket
Farmer McSweeny, who was among the
searchers, laughed loudly, saying: Teddy
man, l didn't think you were so sharp-to
train your pigs to climb out and come back
to you before you sold em;" then to the as
sembled group, "Tve heard tell often that
a pig would go home, no matter how you
took him away from it-hut be hanged IL l
thought one as fat as that felow'd ever have
the spunk to climb a fence and walk five
miles In the night, this way"
''Oh, he isn't just a pig! He's Mister
Plnkey," Teddy said, scratching Mister
Pinkey's back, land one of the family from
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-05
PRArTLE OF THE YOUNGSTERS.

Mamie" said the father to his 4year-old
daughter the other evening at dinner, will
you have a little of the chicken?'
mo. thank you" replied the little miss.
What? No chicken?" exclaimed the
father in surprise.
+ "oh. yes, I'll have some chicken" an
swered Mamie. "but I don't want little
piece"
Mamma" said little Willie, I'm afraid
was awful naughty today"
"Why do you think y" asked his mother.
"'Cause I've got an awful stomach ACHE"
answered the little fellow.
perhaps it was the pie you ate," said his
mother.
"oh, no." replied Willie, "the pie was too
good to behave in that manner. 1t must be
me-"
Johnny, aged 6, Is wise son who not
only knows his own father, but his uncle as
| we'll Now, Johnny said the teacher, "if
your father can do a piece of work in one
hour and your Uncle Tom can do 1t in one
hour, how long would it take both of them
| to do it?"
I 1.-TWO hours" answered Johnny, "includ-
| ing the time they wasted in arguing about
| how it should be done"
| Mrs. Ada Brown Talbot OF New York, edi-
tor of the Clubwoman, says that the most
| extraordinary club she ever ran across is
conducted by a demure and dignfied little
woman of 7, the daughter of club presi-
dent. The editor called one day and was
received by her little friend with open
| arms.
"At last I've got a chair" she said.
II am very glad, my dear" said the edi-
| tor. II hope 1t is comfortable and pretty"
"oh, it is not for me; it's for my club"
| II didn't know you had a club
"Of course 1 have-just like mamma. My
dolly is president, and got the chair for
her. You see,' she explained in a whisper
there's only dollies in it, and the dolly
that makes the most noise is president, just
like mammals club. That's my dolly. She
talks when you push her back. broked the
| spring, and now she talks till she is ruined
down. So she's president. Don't you think
| that's nice?"
| And Mrs. Talbot said she did
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-05
Mcsweeney said were lest SO morn that

McSweeney said were lest SO morn that
p'isen pig was wuth.''
Beatrix was for calling Teddy, but her
mother said: Let him run himself dead
tired hunting-then he will go to sleep at
once-and maybe partly forget before morn
ing" So Teddy ran unchecked until he
came to the fence betwixt the orchard and
the big woods, and clambered sorrowfully
over 1t. II wouldn't do you this way. old
Pinkey,'' he said with catch in his throat;
mot even il you had gone and left me
little bit of while. 1 wouldn't go get my
self lost out in the woods and most kill a
little boy to find me-. But will find you--
SO there, now. If had thought you'd be-
have so badly never would have taught you
to climb the fence" ,. .r
He dropped down himself and ran a little
| way out in the woods. Tracks and fresh
| rooted ground convinced him that he was
| following Mister Pinkey The tracks ran
| deeper in the woods. He ran along them,
| expecting every minute to come upon his fat
| and lazy stray. Once or twice he called, but
after little decided it would be better fun
| to surprise his vagrant.
| BY and by it began to be dark. Teddy
looked about him in sudden fright. He was
| out of sight Of home-out of sight of every
| thing. it seemed to him. except tall black
+, tree trunks, with heavy boughs at the top
| and little patches of pale sky in between.
| He turned bewilderedy about and tried to
go home. The first tear welled from his eye.
II amt so real 'fraid," he said, starting at
| the sound of his own voice, "but oh, to
| think Mister Pnkey is good lost!
Darkness brought panic to Barnstead. AS
quickly as possible Mr.. Lawton gathered his
neighbors and began systematic search for
his boy. Instinctively it was felt he was in
the big woods. Catamounts were there also
and potential bears More than that it was
blowing up very cold. There would certainly
be frost and perhaps snow before morning
So 1t might be "a matter OF life and death
to find him, and find him quickly. 20
The big woods divided into two wing-li
parts. In threes, each with lighted torch
the searchers beat through the nearer one
seeking, seeking and never finding. 1t was
= near midnight when they turned into the
second wing, which ran above the edge o.
the valley farms. All felt the quest hope
less, but were none the less bent on making
it, They had lads of their own and knew
! what threat of such loss meant.
When they had gone perhaps a hundred
yards there came to them out OF the dark
ness ahead low, unctuous grunting fol
lowed by weak, happy cry, "Pappy
. Pappy!" Teddy tried to shout, though 1t wa
not much more than a whisper. "Miste
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-05

father as he scrambled out OF the buggy.
"iou ought to see him lie down over the
apples he just can't eat. AS IL wanted
'em-when l can climb the tree and shake
'em down"
But Mister Pinkey was not under the
sweet apple tree, nor in the shade of the
pokeberry bushes beside the potato patch;
neither was he snug in the watering trough,
nor luxurously bedded beside the new rick
OF timothy. Teddy whistled and called his
loudest but nothing came Even BeatriX
felt sorry as she heard him. They had all
agreed to make 1t a case Of mysterious dis
appearance-at least until Christmas. Then
Teddy should be told; more, he should have
the three bright new dollars which Farmer
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-05

The executive committee of the central
conference of American rabbis selected
Brooklyn for the place cf the next gather
ing of the general confer.nce.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-05
OUT OF THE ORDINARY.
Indiana has four rabbit farms.
Iowa has 6,000-acre corn farm.
Vienna has W0nen praNa linrers

Iowa has 6,000-acre corn farm.
Vienna has women grave diggers.
Great Britain possesses 7,340,096 dwellings
Sixteen ounces of gold are sufficient to
gild wire that would encircle the earth.
1t is said as much $4,000 per annum is
expended by various transatlantic steamers
to overcome friction caused by fouling.
Residents of Worcester, Mass, may talk
:2o. which Is reduction Ct about 80 per
| cent; The new rates are SEE for six-JAtty
residence instruments. within the two. mile
circuit, with unlimited service
A firm of fish dealers in Mobile. Ala. Is
experimenting with a railroad tank car in
which, if successful. they will TRANSPORT
| and other southern fishes alive to northern
cities. They believe that necessary aeration
| and regulation of temperature in = smf!i-
cient quantity of sea water Will be feasible.
| Amos Lunt of San Quentin. Cal. is going
| to sanitarium victim of insomnia and
| something like nervous prostration. but 1t
| is doubtful If 1t will do him any good Iunt
| is the hangman of San Quentin prison. with
| a record of twenty executions in five wears,
and his present condition is induced bv hal
| lucinations Every time he falls into doze
| he sees the spirit of some of the 'murderers
whom he has hanged. '.,
Alfred Krupp. the German gunmaker. has
of Essen, with 100000 inhabitants. admitted
| into the ranks of German cities, The town
was made by the Krupp, gun works, which
were started there by the present owner $
| grandfather, in 1870 There are Al 900 en-
ployes and there has never yet been a
! strike.
| Little Mary Francis Rowland of Mexico
Mo. now IL months old, is petted and be-
| loved by nine grandparents. They are:
! William p. Rowland. grandfather on the
| fathers side, and his wife, William Kent
| grandfather on the mothers side. and his
wife; c. y. Bryan and wife. and Isaac Kent
| and wife, great-grandparents on the
mothers side and James S. Osborn. great.
| grandfather on the fathers side
| The executive committee of the central
conference of American rabbs selected
Brooklyn for the place &c the next gather.
ling of the general confer.nce.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-05

Mamie" said the father to his 4-year-old
daughter the other evening at dinner, will
you have little of the chicken?"
mo, thank you," replied the little miss.
What? No chicken?' exclaimed the
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-05

ooh. yes, I'll have some chicken" an
swered Mamie, "but don't want little
piece"
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-05

nothing like so badly as he himself had
spoiled Mister Pinkey. Teddy was rosy
and stout and sunburned now-not a bit
like the ghost of boy which had been
fetched to Barnstead in the early spring.
AS he rode home from the mill at his
fathers elbow he laughed and chartered
like magpie.
He was not dsmayed when no welcom-
ing squeal came to him. "Old Pinkey wants
TO pay me for leavin' him-he's hid down.
under the sweet apple tree" he said to his
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-05

The hest salve in the world for cuts,
bruises, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever
sores, letter. chapped hands, chilblains,
corns and all skin eruptions, and positively
cures piles, or no pay required. 1t is guar
anteed to give perfect satisfaction or money
refunded. Price rs cents per box. For sale
by Kuhn G Co.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-05
His Home Life.

The home life OF Kruger is the most
charming imaginable. What Is here writ
ten of 1t is from my own experience. Kruger
is devoted to his wife, children, grand and
great grandchildren, while they in turn
adore him. He lives in a modest house
which sets back from the sidewalk about
fifteen feet, There is a grass plot in front
and sentry box inside of the iron railing.
This house was presented to him by syndi-
cate. When the Yolksrsad Is in session q
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-05

F1YOMEI ANTISEPTIC SKIN SOAP
manu- the new Made the fresh
septic TINS
HYOME1 ANTISEPTIC SKIN n
maF lecake F NNN
THE r. T. BOOTH co. Ithaca. NJ Y.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-11-05

Teddy, aged Z, was the only boy in a
family OF six Naturally he was spoiled, but