Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1899-06-15
BAD BULLS" IN THE COMMONS.
Astounding Verbal Achievements of
British Members of Parliament.

The house of commons produces
bulls and mixed metaphors of rare
qnality-in fact, Great Britain's
legislators appear to keep in stock
special brands OF these commodities.
Here are few samples.
One night during his last term as
prime minister Mr.. Gladstone rose to
his feet and calmly accused a conser-
vative leader of an astounding feat.
He told the right honorable gentle
man that 'he shook his head in the
teeth of his own words!" Those
words must have been very biting
ones.
b. L. Cohen, M. P, on one occasion
told an opponent that 1.-The sheet
anchor of his argument is not one
Which lies in the mouth of this house"
At the period when continual refer
ence was being made to the Glad
stone umbrella" a conservative orator.
IN the course of debate, informed the
followers of Mr.. Gladstone that I'VE
also have an umbrella, which will
soon be heard, and when it speaks it
will be with no uncertain sound"
couple of nights later another
member seemingly in spirit Of emu
lation, astonished a bewildered house
by exclaiming: Il see a vision float
before my eyes-it is the car of pro-
gress, rolling on in its majesty, gnash-
ing its teeth as it goes!" The mem
Der appears to have been quite carried
away by that vision of car.
Undoubtedly a combination of ex-
element and nervousness accounts
largely for the glorious mixture some
orators pour out upon their listeners.
1t was so in the case of the Scotch
member whose speech had drawn it's
slow length along for nearly an hour,
when suddenly he startled the house
by an eloquent outburst: "Sir, look at
the great cities of antiquity-where
are they now? Some have persisted so
completely that it is doubtful if they
ever existed" Then there went up
such roar of laughter as the house
has very rarely heard-and the orator
resumed his seat.
Here are a trio of delightful mixed
metaphors which made the speaker
almost hold his sides with laughter
The subject under discussion was BIZ
metallism and the intricate ramih-
cations of the topic were intensified
by three members who wished to give
instruction to their fellow legislators
The first orator let off this original
aphorism: Cali along the untrodden
paths of the past we discern the foot
prints of an unseen hand
Then there was rush of members
to leave the house, but those who re-
NAMED were charmed by another
member describing several recent by
elections as a "haystack of straws,
showing which way the wind blows
Ten minutes later the commons were
told-apparently quite in error, as it
did not in any way refer to the debate
by the member for a north of Eng
ency scores of destitute children." OF
course, laughter loud and long greeted
this, whereupon the honorable mem
Der fastened to explain that he did
not mean exactly what he had said.
Lord CurZon, when plain George
Curzon, was once, and once only,
known to hopelessly mix his meta
phors. On the occasion in question
he highly amused the house of COM
mons by saying, eve are not yet out
of the wood in south Africa and to get
out the ship of state requires most
careful steerng!''
An Irish member, Mr. Murnaghan to
wit, delivered himself of this delight
full remark: Il am not going to reit-
crate what l was going to say" This
bull brings to mind two strangely
mixed metaphors uttered in the house
by another member from the emerald
island, William Field.
On one occasion he told the speaker
that "the time has come, indeed is
rapidly arriving, when," etc., and an
other night he informed parliament
that, in certain eventualities, "the
population of Ireland will be decimated
by two-thirds.' These two delightful
expressions have made the honorable
member famous at st. Stephen's.-
London Mail.