davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01
shop.wsrr ssoks.

The. National Advertiser tells etory
Of an old bachelor who bought pair of
socks and found attached to one of
them slip Of paper with these words:
II am young lady Of 20 and would
like to correspond With . bachelor,
@th view to matrimony." Name and
address were given. Tho bachelor
wrote and in few days got this letter:
"Mamma was married 20 years ago.
The merchant you bought those socks
from evidently did not advertise or he
would have sold them long ago. Nam
ma handed me your letter and said
possibly l mightsu you. lam IS years
old"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01
LENT IN PARIS.
Marked Contrast Detvee. III. r,h.
erty of the Present Day aAd
100 Years Ago.

Cardinal Richard allows Paris1ans
during Lent regimen that 10 not very
hard. They may have meat every day
except Wednesdays and Fridays, though
never meat and fish at the same repast;
eggs every day. except during the last
three days, and the poor are authorized
to use fat for their cooking. We are
here very far from the extraordinary
regimen that once ruled Paris in this
matter. UP to the very moment of the
revolution 1t was the prefecture of po-
fce that forced Lenten diet on Paris.
and a very rigorous one 1t was. The
butchers shops were closed and ths
police spent their 40 days in nosing
round the kitchens to see II hey smelled
meat. It was thus, as history recordS,
Marquis de Bauhremont had her kitch-
en invaded and all the succulens
tiands with which 1t was stuffed con-
dscated for the benefit Of the Hotel
Dieu. which alone had the privilege OF
possessing meat In Lent, and this, Of
course, for the purpose Of dealing it
out to the sick.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01
A GLIMPSE AT HIMSELF.
A Reflective Ma. ~ m... x-
Sees Strangely Familiar
Facc In q Mirror.

Here said the man Of mature Years.
according to the New York Sun, was
an experience that fancy others have
mad. You know we don't realize the
change in our own appearance us the
years go by; we feel young, all right,
and imagine that we look SO, and never
realize that we don't. But coming
down from an upper story of a tall
building in an elevator the other day,
and thinking Of something else, hap
pened to see q face in mirror in the
side OF the cur.
1T had q curious interest for me,
somehow. II was the face of a man
OF middle age, tolerably well preserved,
but with hair pretty gray and with
marks ut the outer corners Of his eyes
showing where the crow had stepped
on him: lightly. to be sure, but the
marks OF crows feet, nevertheless; the
face of man of years. But, old and
gray, the most curious md fascinating
thing about 1t was it's striking resem-
blance to my own This was almost
startling; but moment lator, when !
looked at II saw ~ slight turn OF my
own head reproduced with CORE
spending movement by the head in the
mirror, realized that what saw was
indeed reflection Of my own face;
and that for moment / had, seen my
self us was.
"But when got home I looked in
the glass there. And did ! see any mid
die aged folks now? Nt1 ~ a jugful!
l saw the man I wanted 70 see. A
little gray, perhaps? Yesl a little
gray. Crowfeet? Yes, II you want
to call 'cm 30. I'm no spring chicken
I don't set out to be that, that is, not
this springs, but I'm a young man. still
for all that; and I'm going to remain
so for many years to come, despite
what the mirror in the elevator said
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01
A FRESH LIEUTENANT.
Rev Gen. sumner Turned the Table.
On an Obstreperous sabaltern
at Santiago.

A young second lieutenant, who
had been graduated from the first
GLASS a couple Of months before
the regular graduation at West
Point, had just Joined his regi-
ment, and was walking down the
street near the palace, says writer on
Santiago in Leslie's Weekly. He
stopped on the corner, and us lie did
so an old grizzled soldier with growth
OF beard on his face and with cavalry
sergeant's stripe On his breeches, .
blue shirt, and campaign hat, bu, with
no other mark Of rank about his uni-
form, except his sergeant's stripe,
walked slowly down and stopped in
front Of the lieutenant, looking around
at the different buildings. The young
officer fidgeted a few moments under
the manner in which the trooper iR-
nored his proximity, and finally turned
on him and said, sharply: Here, you
man, did anyone ever teach you how to
salute?". "Yes, sir" drawled the troop
er, as he glanced at the youngster.
We'll, knock your heels together"
said the young officer. and the trooper
came to attention with the precision
OF an old soldier. Now salute" he
said, and the troopers gauntlet came
to the rim of his hat and staid there
until the young lieutenant answered 1t,
at the same time demanding: Now,
remember this, and don't let this hap
pen again. What is your name, and
what do you belong to?" Without re-
laxing his position from attention the
old trooper again respectfully saluted,
and remarked dryly: "Nfy name is
Samuel Sumner. and I'm brigadier
general Of the cavalry brigade" where
upon the young lieutenant proceeded
to copy as many colors of the rainbow
with his face as was possible, and
slipped away as soon MS he dared. for
getting even to apologize,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01
A DURABLE SIGN.
II was ussA st ua,rs,.s Ferry Thirty
Years A9e aAA Is Still N
6ssA 0fAe1.


inquiries have been received by the
Baltimore 4 Ohio railroad concerning
the man who painted q station dgn at
Harper's Ferry. The Western Society
Of EnSdneess has the sign now on exit
bdtaon in it, rooms In Chicago, says the
Baltimore Amsr1can.
The engineers are using every e6ert
- ascs1tain who mixed the paint and
applied IL to the Sign, which was placed
in position sk Harpsr's Ferry stasien
about 90 years ego.
The summer heat and winter storms
have IN no way dimmed the luster Of
the paint used to mako the words "Hs5-
per's Ferry" The words stand out -
boldly as the day they were formed by
tie artists brush.
The wood around the lette1s he's been
worn about one-sixteenth Of an inch By
ssnd beating against It by fierce winds,
but the letters have withstood the sls-
DentA.
It is claimed that no paint msnufss-
tured nowadays 10 equal In durability 70
that which was applied to the old sign.
and II the person who mixed II 10 living
and will take advantage Of the secret
be Possesses - 10 it, composition, II u
said he can. BY engaging IN the paint
manufacturing business. soon aeoumuc
late wealth.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01
SULTAN FEARED THB GUN.
ne ruxAssA xsas,oh We, o&eet1y
fADrsssea win the
afaxin Ara

hiram Maxim, the inventor Of the
Naxim gun. tslls an amusing story Of
aA experience With the sultan Of Tur-
ksy. The sultsn Aad witnessed . test
q the wondWful shootiag Of the rapid
Ars arm ana was duly Impressed with
sssine. the smsl1 weapon deliver itself
of go shots Q minute without being
touohsd by human hands save the Arst
yuil. Of the trigger.
Wonderful wunderfu1t'' he ex.
Stained h smssssnsnt. n must have
some Of those arms"
Some time later Mr.. Maxim received
a order for m expensive pattern Of
small field arm. he made two, beaufi-
fully ehased IA eeld and Of narvelou.
vorkmanship. What the sultan could
want Of such expsnsiw outside trap
Paags he did not know, but they were
duly sent - Turkey, where they now
nost IN the royal museum.
All! They shoot too well, /" the sui
IN 10 reported 70 have said when asked
Ohy they were noA used IN the deld.
erhsy are better where they ars.'
IL was. .sfterwafd said that the sultan,
lavang asuperstitious regard for their
SAeottng power. thought they were bet
~ s6 where they could be seen m
Aea4 Of being hsndled bS his troops IN
dnes of pease. But now, having got.
ten ever aomewhat his fear Of their
sheatAsnish devfllshness," he is said to
have arrived ~ tAat point where they
may and their way xtensive]y into the
Curkish army when the next trouble
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01
In HIS Place.

The author Of Cannon and Camera" {"
"a war artist at tho front" In Cuba,
says that after the destruction Of the
Maine. Father Chadwick, her chaplain,
could be seen going hither and thither,
now on the shore and now ahoat, car
ing for the bodies recovered from the
wreck. and setting down all possible
notes which might lead to their iden-
tification. Holzer, his Jealous and In
defatigable assistant, was among the
wounded, and. took his fate like hero.
When he was dying. In hospital, Capt.
sigsbee said few cheering words to
him, and held out his hand. II can't
shake hands with you, Capt. sigsbee.' y
said he. Ny hand is not in condition,
SIR" "Ah, my lad" said the captain.
you took the wrong ship when you
chose the Maine" mo, hrl No, sirl
II was the right ship. l have nothing
to regret" Soon after he died.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01
THE LUCKY STONE.
A New stone from Russ,. I. the r..A.
lonabIe Favorite at
Present.

The latest thing in maxcots comes
from Russia and resembles Q white car
buncle. It combines the t1ansluceucy
of the moon-stone with the hre Of thu
opal, and can be graphically compared
to bit Of petrified sunset. A young
woman from the cars domains has
charge of an exhibit of native goods
In fashionable locality, and In The
midst of a case full Of enameh and
looms the lucky stone shines and al-
lures. Fu1ther down the avenue IN
enterprising Turk sells similar stones
with protestauons and assurances Of
all 1t will do for its owner, says Har-
pers Bazaar.
The birth stone il limited in Its pow
er; for instance. the agate of June
brings health and long life. Who was
ever satisfied with Just these two
things. The last bit of mysterious po-
tency. like Its predecessor, jade, brings
all the hearts desires-that is, IL you
wear 1t and believe in 1t Constantly.
In olden days talisnAns were conAid-
cred infallible; the most precious Of
them all described in black letters or
vellum manuscripts with the owners
blood and the DEVILS sign ature, was
the small bone or jewel found in the
head Of toads and snakes. These rep
tiles were symbolical Of wisdom, and
their hidden treasures were sought for
by those who knew of their existence.
knowledge is power, and the vague
groping Tor truth in those dark ages
has led to the present realization that
the knowing how" ard "doing 1t"
will bring more than all the lucky
stones and weird mnscots in the world
Diled fopethen
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01
WANTED LIFE INSURANCE,
4 cAinana.,s Queer Notio. Of II.
DensAts to Be Deeivea from
. Peliey.

A New Orleans lawyer told the
Times-Democrat this yarn:
II had . Chinese client who went
home on visit. leaving his laundry in
charge Of his brother. When he re-
turned he was promptly ordered off the
premises. His brother had coolly an.
propfisted the business and swore he
would kill him unless he made himself
scarce. Tho dispossessed gentleman
called on me the next day, and, after
hearing his story, advised him to get
out warrant Immediately, but he
ahook his head at the suggestion, and
said In pigeon English that he wanted
to have his life insured for $4,000. I
was astonished. What on earth put
that into your head?' asked. 80 they
makee allie time some watch he re-
piled. After great deal Of cross-ques.
tioning got at his scheme. He had in
some manner conceived the idea that
Insurance companies did everything
possible to prolong the lives Of their
policy holders, and II followed quite
naturally that II they had $4,000 at
stake they would take particular pains
to see that he wasn't hurried into the
hereafter by hts wicked brother. In
other words they would 'makee some
watch and. being frugal gentlman, 1t
struck him as q cheap way Of securing
. body guard. He was greatly disap-
pointed when l explained that the
companies let their clients take their
own chances, and II evidently Inn
pressed him as most unbusinesslike,
He went away, and at last accounts the
wicked brother was still holding the
fortn
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01
German singing Contests.

Tho German emperor has devised a
new scheme for the encouragement of
vocal music In the German empire. It
will be put into operation in 1890, and 1t
consists Of singing competition to be
held in different town every year.
Cassel has been selected for the first
competition, the chief condition of
which is that each choir taking part
will receive an unpublished musical
composition about an hour before the
contest takes place. There will be no
accompaniment. The kaissr's priss ID
3 YalNah(e 3aNal
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01
rot Absolutely New.

Amissionary returning to Basle from
Patagonia brought with him collec-
tion Of Patagonian skulls. The custom.
house officers at Les Verrieres opened
the chest, inspected the contents and
informed the owner that the consign-
ment must be classed as animal bones
and taxed at so much the pound. The
missionary was indignant, and eventu-
ally the officers reconsidered the aues-
ton When the way bill had been re-
vised 1t appeared in the following form:
"Chest Of native skulls. Personal ef-
fects, already worn"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01
PRETTY ARMS SCARCE.
& se-i,eys s&ys Il 10 nara to Fsal
Ms1sls ysTth Dimplsd, n.
Dsrfng Limbs,

n6 gfrgs dffncu1ts IN getting &
ai06s1 With good arms" said well-
Rnown sculptor recently. "1t Il aston
itAne Abw few women there ars With
akns thAA eonkosM to the standard. A
fFfeoe srrn, messured from the wrist
JOINT ~ - Hmpik should be twice
t6S lepSa4 u the head. The upper par1
sesAs asm should be large, full and
wen rounded. There should be dim
pls af Tho slboW. The forearm mist
~ be oy AAh npt nearly 20 nat % .
14ii. 40r instancs.
from = weli1nolded shoulder tAe
w16ess1fm should taper IN long, sraos-
III 'Survef to = well-rounded wrist. u
= BETTER - havv On arm that harmon
ass- -sysn Il ~ parts do not conform
% ths gsnerally accepted Mnes For
instene4 afuil. round upper arm which
4! toine4 - 4 let o. thin forearm has
: vsry baA sfteeA Perhaps II is only .
nttls werss, however, than graosiul,
wsnlnd6ed forearm tackled on 10 Z
nm, serswny upper arm.
correotneW q form =.
- -..ry for . good arm. The
svn<s must possess tie power q ex-
Yreision wis6 her arm. Ameracan
women sre deficient IN thls as rule.
fhose nAtlonalitses which show the
ost expRession n their arms arv the
epantsh, French and italian. The
WsFmst admirers Of Bora BernhArdt
would not elatm thA4 she had beautiful
trims, yst no one can say that ths a.
NnA IRA ever appears ungainly In con-
sequenes. Much more lies in the fac
slty u arm expression than IL general
n supposed,"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01
HOLLAND HOUSE.
4 London nstAslishnevt J, = Ths, s = :,
Unt0us Anoae the Homes
OF Oae1anA.

Enshshmen have no idea OF society In
che continental sense, Banqusts, balls
and PaFtieA public and private, have
always formed IN accompaniment to
the parliamentary session, but the &C.
lect cotss4es which meet almost daily
IN Paria-tn the informal gatherings
termed salons" J" where friendships are
rcemsnted With that mixture Of Rrays
and eay conversation In which eAy
mereurial neighboFs sxqsl-ars foreign
70 The Epglsh lits. says the Pail Mall
Magazine. In it, records, ss we'll as In
its surroundings. Holland house stands
out . brilliant exception in this ra.,s..i. cot.
II as uni99s anons NJ :. @ngl.h homes,
SsA4. us 1t does In ita own lovely
gardens, surrounded till lately by the
Aelds Of Kensington, now in the middle
Of . densely populated district and
within Q walk Of the center Of London.
It has ceased for half century to bs
q country homo and, though 1t has
changed hands repeatedly, its treasures
remain intact. Its architecture 10 char
aeteristio, its portraits and busts recall
ell the most interesting personages
who have lived there. Every room IL
Ailed With rare objects and historical
relics, IL has neither been robbed to
pay death duties nor spotted by vandsi
taste. II possesses. moreover, . special
interest a. the center round which re-
volved for nearly half century all that
was brightest and most intellectual In
IN ags Of strength and great achieve
ments-those whose influence 20 pro-
foundly Affected the political events Of
the day,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01
Husrt1NG TIMES
People Who Keep q Isok.~t Ate.
Those Gone Before Are
Kept Busy.

Few persons probably realize how
much business is transacted in connec-
tton with those who have ceased to do
business and have gone to their final
rest. II would seem the proper thing
that Nirvona should como with death.
90 far as business with the dead person
u concerned. BUTT is not 20, and never
has been. Yet In these modern time.
OF competition and the evolving Of
schemes to make money, says the Gin
cinnAu Enquirer, death sets IN motion
machinery Of business that awaits the
visit Of the pale rider 70 give II impetus.
The records Of the probate court are
the source Of intormation for the axeuts
Of vazsoNs enterprises. The solicitor.
at bond companies. ready to become
surety for executors. Administrators,
guardians and trustees. watch those
records. Employees ot legal advertis-
ing m@siums pour over them to get the
names Of attorneys, sppointees Of the
court. and seek them to solicit the ad.
vertising that must be done under the
law. But strangest Of all to seek that
source Of information is the maker Of
grave stones. Yes, an agent IL at work
in that direction, and II 10 related that
he gets considerable business. He
makes note Of the attorney and admin
istrator, the names Of the widow or be-
reaved husband or children, and in due
time seeks them and solicits their trade.
With hiS-cafalool,e ~ his hucinAsa he
shows what can be furnished to perpet-
uate the memory Of the loved one who
has paid the debt of nature.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01
Tho Time to Advertise.

Hard times force many alleged basi-
ness men to hide their faces and bemosa
their ill luck. They also force many,
through inaction, to fail. 1t is, however,
the golden opportunity of the bright.
plucky man who has the nerve to ad.
vertise and push his goods. He talks to
buyers through his advertisements,
making them larger and inserting them
oftener, SO that his goods are continually
moving. He thus has clear field, ana.
knowing how to use it. gets the publica
money.-Exchange.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01
The Prico Attracts.

The great desire of tho purchasing
public is to get an article little below
the ruling rates. Even if the difference
amounts to but a penny or two the es-
tablishment which offers that advantage
will be busy, while houses asking the
penny or two more will be idle. Re-
member this principle in stating prices
for your lads" If what you have to
offer is quoted at a figure little be-
low its usual price you'll find no difficulty
In disposing of it.-Philadelphia Item.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01
n,Il niue and iii. Engine.

railway engineer named William Blue,
who was master Of locomotive No. q
One Of the fues in the boiler Of his pet
engine blew up and he was stalled.
blocking the main line. His report to
the division superintendent was un-
Willingly as follows: Engine two
blew out hue; watIl do? Bill Blue"
In 20 minutes Bill got this answer: "Bill
Blue: You plug the fiue in engine two
and pull her through in time to get out
sf the way Of twenty-five"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01
Mans Indebtedness 70 Insects.

According to Grant Allen, in the
Strand Magazine, beetles and other In
sects anticipated man in the burial Of
his dead and manuring Of his fields by
devouring and burying dead animals
where they enrich the soil and promote
the growth Of vegetation: There IT,"
he says, 'hardly q human trade or . hu-
man activity which does not ind its
counterpart in animal and vegetable
l&e.n
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01

The bnr1n. or snow hurylcsae. Of the
eAndfs n meteorological phenome-
nou ot great interest Even In midslm-
~ The temperature during . snow
taUsA frequently falls to- IL degrees
lAAreAheiA while n the winter Of 1885,
y IL dzoppe6 70 ~ degrees below sero
q the snd q Jssuary. The buran
s1nsss With startling suddsnness. ths
eenesphsre growing dark with whirl-
ing snowdakes where scarcely minute
before the sky wsD perfectly clear.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01
Byron Foreotten by HIS Raoe.

byron FOf9OtteA ~ HIS HACo.
The eclipse which has come over By
ron's fame 70 strikingly illustrated by
the report that Of the sec, 900 needed for
the proposed monument at Aberdeen
only $4,000 has been subscribed, and
that 1t is probable that the project will
b abandoned. In all Great Britain
there is no adequate monument to the
poet, who. in the opinion Of his con-
temporarieA was the greatest English
bard dncs Shakespeare,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01
LONG RUN BY WOUNDED DEER.
Tns Aainal,s oareas. reuaa rev,
Miles from the SPOT whsrs
the Shot was Fired.

! havs often found evidences In the
woods q game animal which has
escaped the hunters after being NOR
tally wounded by them, said an old
hunter who, according to the New Ye-k
Sun, has shot over the neighboring
ground Of the three states radlatine
from the tri-states monument in Port
Jervis. n. Y. An animal wounded by
. gunshot that does not prove In.
stantly fatal may travel for miles BE-
fore II drops dead. Once when after
birds In Sullivan county, near night
fall, came across very recent signs Of
deer. T. I'hastened 10 cover nearby
runway. hoping to get chance shot.
always carry few loads Of buck IN
my belt Within 10 y1eds Of the place
. splsndid buck broke cover and darteti
ike . shadow across little cleared
plaoe. / fred, but upon careful exam
tnataon Of tho ground could find no
signs ct having hit. II was quick work,
but there was no reeson 4or . man with
. good sye to miss. I followed the
trail for . short distance without hnd-
AA8 oMy N10S0 Va OAOVWs ~ wan QUlI0
dark by this time. and I gave up the
search.
The next day took II up with anoth-
er man who knew the ground we'll, and
although We searched for hours we
could And no trace Of my charge OF
bueksAot which always creates oonsid-
erahs havoc IN the brush and sap
lings. am too old a hand q the game
70 shoot 1t the treetops when ! see q
deef, and We concluded that the ami
NAL had departed With my uneom-
Portable load Of nine buckshot con-
esaled somewhere about his person.
Two weelrs later heard that, ON the
morning following my adventure. Q
farmer living within four miles Of the
place had found dead buck only .
few yards from his barn. he shipped
hds ind 70 New York and received for
II 80. Until this moment I have with.
held my lamentations.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01
Dullness Begets Dullness.

Do you tell us, o candidate for the
custom of the community, that you can't
afford to advertise because your business
e dull? Listenl 1t is dull because you
don't advertise, and you don't advertise
because it is dull, so the vacant circle ls
complete. We tell you, if yon are doing
III 70 advertise that you may do well,
and, II you are doing we'll, to advertise
that you may do better.-Prentice
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01
rerr1tou u.axplor%a.

Throughout the entire world there
are about % 900 900 square miles Of uu-
explored territory. In Africa there are
S.soo. 900 square miles, arctic regions.
1,ooo, 900; antarctic regions, s.10o, 900,
America, s.oo0, 900; Australia, a,ooo, 900;
Asia, zoo. 900, and various islands, so0,-
0CO.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-06-01

PopuIatssn ef the Earth.
AZ the present rate Of incrsass the
population Of the earth viii double ~
ss3 in 3eo ysafs. ---~,.@--