Saint Mary's beacon. [volume] (Leonard Town, Md.) 1867-1983, 1899-03-23
Tho Cow.

ful zeus capered over that celestial
coz path. the Milky Way, 10 the
pressat, when the period Of the
nightly homeward return of the
Gov is taken as q basis of man .
Saturnalian calculations of time.
the subject Of cows has ever beeo
regarded as essentially q weighty
one- Bat though aluays vener.ted
- model OF badly grace, il 10 ONLY
recently that the Gov hss been rec
oGnized y fhe noasesaar of aupsr
alleIed humor. In reality. there i
no creature more humorous than
the COW. and when contrae1istin.
guished from the pump. she is at
once seen TO stand alone as the
acme of sublimated jocundity.
| have Travelled much this weary
mortal round, and l know this to
be fact.
One summers eve | issued forth
TO milk a COW on bet. 1t was Va.
cation, and everything that cam-
to my net in the way Of merriment
vas Spanish msckerel. Finding
the COW close at hand, I approached
in my most deterential man ner, i,
asked her to $780," begged her to
"hist," planted the milking sto"l
of song. and sat down. Then be-.
thinking myself that although the
COW had thus far been Of mild de-
meanor. she might yet determine
to wreckfully dcport herself, l drew
back trlfs. and said
lyon keep that tail still or III
break your head u
She kept the tail still. Twas sur
prised to find a creature 80 persist
emily maligned, to be in reality so
gentle. Even as ! spoke she fell
to chewing the cud with q tranquil.
itv which showed the needlessnesa
of my expostulation. therefore
SAID. deprecatinRly:
lyon put your foot in this pail
and I'll wiring your crazy neck -
She wentun ruminating. Anoth.
'er remembrance from my readings
Of the great nsturalists forced me
to add
"Fiirt that horn around here
AMI III crack you in two !"
After milking awhile, / thought
of something else
Move the infinitesimal fraction
OF hair. and you wont know what
hit you" She SEEMED not to
hear -"because I'll blow you up
with giant powder"
She still continped to ruminatr.
Such meekness deserved enc0ur-
agement when you complete
that train of ruminaiion. I'll stop
aud let YOU think up another" |
SAID gayly
She smiled a little at this and
went placidly on.
! resumed my task. How like
the sourd OF an EpIian harp was
the bnzzing of ephemera. insects
bathing their wings IN the fading
light. | thought how short, how
brief is the life of ephemeraI insects.
The COW vas thinking. too. un.
derstand animals. indeed, all ssm
pathetic nature, Thoreauly, and I
OWNED what the COW vas thinking:
that had not beaten her with the
milking stool OF songs; that | had
tied no rock to her tail-that | had
trusted her, and that she would
pr"ve true to the trust; that
| was divining these and other
bovine reveries. when suddenly an
.phemersl insect about q foot long,
bathing his wings ia the fading
light
The doctor said it was q marvel
how had escaped without losing
my life. Bot il had lost my life,
| do not think / should have es-
capped at all.
For. tn avoid injuring me, the
grateful cow had planted one foot
on my stomach and one on NV
knee; the other eleven were planted
elsewhere. In some way, too, the
milking stool Of song had been set
lnvi'inglv on my breast. and after
the frst exhsustiHg struggle. the
cow had sunk into it for moments
grateful rest. | was begirt on
every side by destruction. and it
s-ems TO nae that if loss of life had
rendered me helpless, must have
been instantly killed. Puck.
rr ..E.- Ill A. -