The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1899-08-25
4 CORRESPONDENT HITS BACK
lnv q 81 EpMARpsl

l washington, August 22.-tStan SpeclaiJ
eood friend has been kind enough to
favor me with copy Of the editorial page
n, the Houston Times. weekly paper pup
usbed in the city OF Houston. On this ed
itorial page there is marked editorial
entitled Fool Friends" This editorial
is simply a ride upon my celiuloid collar
ne one of Joe Bailey's fool friends" This
editor whose name / understand is Faw-
cett or spigot, or Bunghole, or some ola
thing that suggests barrel, takes ire
mendous fall out of me.
understand that he burst upon the
literary horizon of Houston several years
ago like a bifurcated comet, shaking war
and pestilence from It's horrid hair, ana
woe betide the unfortunate upon whom
this lethal lightning falls. at whom ne
shoots the parthian shafts of his inteiiec-
tual sagittary. feel as though haa
trod unon an adult dynamite bomb or been
caught in a cyclone without life insurance
He saws have no right TO think, and also
criticises my grammar. ! admit the cor
rectness of his criticism confess tnat
am n veritahle neophyte in the realm vi
knowledge-that | know absolutely noth-
ing, and that not we'll. Before such learned
Thebans, such intellectual Titans, sucn
mighty philomaths as Editor Spigot-,l
mean Fawcctt-I only ask to stand in 81
lent alteration.
He seems to have one trouble, however,
and that is that he is inclined to spill his
superativeness through the editorial col
umns of an obscure weekly paper instead
of illuminating the pages of the brightest
and best of our literary magazines II this
Pecksniffan old bunghole stopper is trying
to work out the salvation of his long-suf-
fering country by the magic power OF the
press he should no longer hide his light
under bushel. He seems to have st.
vitus' dance of the writing hand but he
has the bad habit Of writing his editorials
when he has nothing to say. He, this
Fawcett, leaks information like Mrs.
Malaprop or a Baron Munchausen. j IN
derstand he is down there fairly oozins
patriotism. He left the North several
years ago for the purpose of reforming the
barbarians of the South. He Is now writ
ing with all the zeal and fervd enthusi-
assn of a young reporter taking his first
fall out of the fire fiend. His holy zeal
registers 200 in the shade when there Is
frost on the grass. Already he has the
democratic hide across a barb wire fence
and is going for 1t like the devil beat
ing tan -bark. And he does not even sus-
pect that he is a large roam something
whom unkind fate has given touch of
thigh life
Mr.. Spigot may criticise me all he
pleases, as l am nothing but common,
everyday newspaper man, and everybody
throws rocks at me- / expect it; but the
presumption of him criticising Joe Bailey.
Joe Bailey has forgotten more in dream
than was ever in this Fawcetts nice fat
head, But this Mr.. Spigot--I mean Faw-
extraordinarily belongs to the gang called
No question tan arise in
or morals, government or
generalship, upon which these great little
men do not presume to speak with the au-
thoritative assurance of a lord chief JUS
tice or a sixfoot wife addressing four
foot husband. They invariably know 1t
all They could teach Solomon and the
Seven Wise Men wisdom, and had they
been on earth when Almighty God wrote
the Ten Commandments they would have
moved an amendment or drafted a minority |
report. What does he know of Joe Baley's |
Did he ever see any of II on
the floor of the American congress? Did
he ever see some little republican like old
Charlie Grosvenor of Ohio try conclusions |
with Joe Bailey and then sneak in his
hole? There never yet was a man on the
republican side of the house of represent
atlves who attempted TO knock out Joe |
la tt-h0 10 iaf 10 ic