Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1899-01-12
A TALE OF WOE.
New Mexioan's Special Correspondent Has
Troubles Which He Thinks Too Much
for One Personals Trip from
Santa Fe to Lake Valley.

Mutt, Jan. 10.-A mar who has never
Travelled from Santa Fe to Lake valley
has not observed nature when her store
hair was dangling from the bed post
and her false teeth were soaking in a
glass of water.
! spent an eXcruciatingly pleasant day
in Mutt. l am afraid that l broke the
Sabbath by swearing during my sojourn
there, but | intend to have it mended
before the Legislature meets. 1t will
doubtless be needed then. Mutt has a
population of one man and a chicken
coop. The entire community is Irish. |
tried to figure out how the ~populace
managed to hold primaries, political
rallies and union gospel meetings, and
then turned my attention to solving a
Chinese puzzle which l picked up in a
cigar store.
l think that some '49er en- route to
California dropped Mutt from the Whit
fetree of a prairie schooner and left it
there. 1t is simply a spot in a desert
of lava. The only live green thing that
l saw there was Joe OBrien, and he
went through on a train. The inhabit-
ant digs holes for burying the ashes &C
cumulated in his coal stove above the
surface of the ground, instead of below.
If Mutt were the world of Santa FEES
self-styled liking of the universe" he
would doubtless become Disguised with
some of his possessions and trade the
world for a brass harness buckle.
Finding an Irishman in such a place
reminded me of one of Colonel Twitch-
ellis stories. The colonel told me this
story in all seriousness and | believe
it because 1 place implicit confidence in
everything that the colonel tells me
almost.
1.-Two blue-blooded, fashionably dress
| railway car in New York City. Both
| were descendants of a long lineof Dutch
| ancestry. One was a Van Rasseldazzle
| and the other a Fitz- Martin. Apologies
to the colonel for suitable innovations.
They wore diamonds in their shoe buck
les and red, white and blue stockings.
| more apologies. The colonel didn't say
what color.) When the train stopped at
57th street a '~round-faced, jolly person.
age stepped aboard. She had the map
of Ireland stamped on her frontispiece
and wore a basket of washing on her
arm.
4 Coma Of tho hapUhty n q mag a1p1rota6
her nose and remarked: Thank heaven;
l am going to Bar Harbor this summer
There are no Irish there
The other aristocratic big gun
thought it time for a similar outburst,
so she said: And / am going to New
port. am sure there are no Irish at
Newport
"Theo old lady had been regarding them
with quizzical irony and she fintlly burst
out with: 'Yez car both go to the divil,
for all l care; and there is no Oirish
there"
But when I saw the Irishman at Mutt
fallen from grace and gone to the devil.
I wonder why the %inhabitant of Mutt
does not encourage emigration and rap
idly populate the region? Then build
the world that Yankee ingenuity car
overcome all obstacles? The railway
employees who run into Mutt are ungen-
erous and mean. / asked the proprietor
,f "a cy,;tob aopit,a tn n WV mo honk tT
Rincon, which is located on the outer
edge of civilization, but he refused. He
thought that I was a Pinkerton detec-
tive, or some one of Importance, and he
was afraid of losing his job. A man, to
live in Mutt, must love a solitary exist
ence-and | do not know one card from
another.
! have a club ready for the member
of The New Mexican staff who told me
that the stage ride from Lake Valley tc
Hillsboro would be a delightful six
mile drive. The distance is 20 miles, an6
as for the road, well, I would dislike to
carry a baby on my lap the entire way
unless it was some M else's baby or ar
extra one that l could conveniently
spare.
A Santa Fe man who rode down tt
Lamy on the train with me asked ms
why my recent articles to The New
Mexican lacked tone and humor.
could not answer at the time, but
savoy now. There Is nothing like dis
NAL and melancholy surroundings tc
excite. cheerfulness in my nature. Were
Santa Fe a goat ranch, an army post OF
a stone quarry, the spirit or divine afla-
tus, or whatever it IS, would work
Henceforth, l will HE myself to a cy-
the spigot of my literary cask.
TRUTHFUL JAMES.