Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, Ramsey Co., Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1905, 1899-06-02
mr.. EPlz00T WILKINS.

He Has Family Troubles OF His Own,
and Seeks Mr.. Cleveland For Further
Political Advice Concerning the Com
dition Of His Party and The Country.
Applejack Farm, witch il next tn Grover
Cleveland's, in the staff Nv Moo Gersey.
Tu the Editur.
n ritin' mi last letter l hev bin in
an oncivil fraim Nv mind, in consequence
Nv the wa | hev bin ,eeered in mi owa
%houshold. Wen l returned frum mi late
intervoo with Mr.. Cleveland I found
Marian, the partner NV mi buzzum, split
tim wood and bilin' with indignashun.
Wen l tride tn passify her she BEGUN
o%nreezonably obstroperus and refoosed
tn be konsiliated. All mi efforts tn re-
dooce her temperatoor and rekonstruckt
her conversashun wuz yooseless. I tride
tn explane the uncomfortable predika-
ment the Dimicratic party wuz in
throoout the kountry, and how we wuz
2 %billygotes a buttin' out each uther's
branes in buckin' agin each uther upon
the silver question, but l mite ez we'll
hev talkt tn the wind. "The Dimicrat
party never he'd no branes," sed that de-
generit woman; "at leest the part Nv it
that yu represent. Eny man tibet will
leev hiz wife tn maui wood tn git hiz
meels with and go sneekin' over tn kon-
suit with a plade out statesman who amt
gut trends EMU to bury him, needn't
talk tn me about branes. If 700 want
tn git sum branes intu yure old thik skull
yu he'd better kut loose frum yure pres
int demoralizin' associashuns and jine
the Republicans. Tha kno wen it IL
dalltc, and h kno nuf tn go intu the
hous Wen it ranes." Bi SIGH unkonsti-
tooshunal rantin' she sought tn 'rlle" me,
but l Good not afford tn hev eny per-
manent kwarrel with a who
chops wood and cooks mi meels, and, be-
sides, l rekollected tibet her father WIZ
a low down Republican who votes with
niggers, and blud will tell. l shode mi
supeeriur orijin and trainin' bi lettin'.
her bio off steem vile l sot down tn the
table and sampled her cookin'.
That evenin' l reinforct mi kurrij bi
a big drink Nv applejack, and 1 deter
mined tn kali on Mr.. Cleveland wunst
agin, and see eff he COCO sa ennything
tibet wood soothe mi lasseratid feelins.
| found him in hiz study reedin' the
DALI newspapers. Assoomin' an air Nv
gaity, witch l did not feel at hart, I lite
~ remarkt, "Whair air we at, Mr.
Presidents" '"Thet's jest whut I'm try
in tn find out" sed he; land I'll be kust
eft l kin tell. We air all at see in an
open bote without a kumpass, sale or
rudder. We air q thousand miles frum
shOar, with our p%royishuns gon and nuth-
in tn drink"
Its a dri time," sed 1, hopin' he Good
talk a hint; but he didn't. He wuz tn
much enthoosed with hiz own thots tn
motifs a practikal remark. like tibet, and
he went on tn So, "Jest see whar we air
in Washinton. We hev no konsert
Nv ackshun and no k%ontinooity Nv pur-
pus. 1t IL a scrub race, and the devil
talk the hindmost. / expected tn see mi
former trends KUN up in wun solid ia
lanx and defect the freely with Spane.
But tina hev plade me fer a jay, and a
Moo Gersey wun ct that. Ez things
scanned tn be about kristallizin' intu sum
shaip to beet the administrator along
kums tibet blatherskite Bryan and nocks
the whole thing galley west hi advisin'
the Dimicratic senaturs tn vote fer the
r%atifkashun' NV the freely, and the wust
NV it all wuz, a lot NV 'em follered hiz ad-
vice. I he'd resurrected sum NV the en-
tombed STATESMEN Nv our party hoo dis
apeered frum publik WI wen L did, and
sen 'em down tn the kapital tn undoo
the wurk NV Mr.. Bryan, but l don't
heer tibet tina made eny violent impress
shun on publik opinyun. l wuz deeply
greeved tn hev mi suggestshuns treeted
with skorn and ~contoomely, and eff 1 Good
hev had mi wa we shood hev opposed the
ratifkashur NV the freely and hauld
down the American flag in the Fillipeen
Islands, jest ez I ordered it hauld down
in How-are-ye. Wen Mr.. Mckinley asked
Who will haul down the flag?' he orter
hev huntid me up. l hev a record on
tibet subjick."
Now tibet wuz a littel tn much fer me
tn endorse. I perfess tn be a patriotik
Amerikin, eff I EN- a Dimicrat, and tn
heer a man boastin' Nv haulin' down the
old starr and stripes wuz enuf tn maik
the blud bile in mi vanes. So I pluckt
up kurrij and sed, "Mr. President, w
air rite. Yu hev a record tibet the koun-
try wunt forgit. and l dout eff eny pres