The evening times., 1899-08-12
New York Cotton Market.
AN ENGLISH MUSIC HALL.
Max Beerbohm and His Paris Friend
Take Their Pleasure Sadly.

udVS OIteu ucdIu 10 Spedh Vi IL.
Heard of it?" l cried, laughing at the
narrowness which is characteristic OF even
the most intelligent Frenchmen. Heard
OF it? l should rather think you had"
by example, yes! And / have great
envy of 10 see 1t. 1t ought to be an affair
well amusing, well gay
Scarcely amusing, perhaps. But very
great, very solid, very gratifying"
Gould we not accompany US there this
evening?"
/ smiled Interrogation.
rs it not that it finds itself In la Place
Leicester? Is that then so far from here?"
Presently We descended at the portal of
that great establishment which is the re-
puted hub OF all the wild gayety in Lon
don-that Niryana where gilded youth and
painted beauty meet, to the strains of
music and the twinkling of Terpsichore,
in glare of electric light. l had not
wanted to come to 1t for my sake But /
had not thought that visit might perhaps
explain to my friend the point which /
had been trying to impress on him; that
obvious gayety is not possible in London.
So had consented to show him the place.
We bought two seats. AS We passed, on
our way to them, into the far-famed Prom
enade, / asked my friend to walk slowly.
and to observe carefully the throng's de-
meanor Everything was the same as It
had been; the same glare and the same
music; the same congestion of silk hats
and swallow-tails, pressed against the bar
rier OF the circle. watching the ballet; the
same slow and serried procession of silk
hats and swallow-ta tails. billicoeks, and rae
ing coats. moodily revolving along the
space between the ballet-gazers and the
long row of large-hatted ladies, who. bolt
upright on the crimson settees against the
wall, conversed with one another in un-
dertone: the same old absence, in fact, OF
any gayety, of any semblance Of gayety,
OF any wish or effort to contriye any little
hollow semblance of gayety. l saw that
my friend was puzzled, disappointed.
Around him We're all, the. common ingre-
dients for revelry-light, glitter, youth,
money beauty. dancing, alcohol; all those
things without which revelry is. indeed,
quite possible. but with even small meas
ure OF which reVelrY would seem, TO the
child of a Latin race, quite inevitable. /
was amused by my friends disillusion-
ment. We loitered, lcontemplative. There
was no need to- eiineh my previous argu-
ment by pointing for him with words the
moral of the Promenade. As We descended
the staircase TO the stalls, MY brave" he
said to me, simply, you had reason
The ballet 'AIaska''-was winding to
its conclusion. The battalions of slim and
spangled limbs were whirling through
their final evolutions. and the orchestra
blared to the climax. Cavalazzi, the i'm
mense, the inscrutable-for any meaning
she ever conveys to me, CalavazZi is a
sphinx indeed-came striding through the
coryphees She threw back her head and
pointed to the ground. She frowned and
folded her arms. She smiled, unfolded
her arms and pointed with the forefnger
of her right hand 10 the middle finger of
her left hand. She strobe significantly
away through the eoryphees, leaving them
and the orchestra to bring things to a sat-
isfactory conclusion. When the curtain
fell, two footmen appeared before it with
brooms and swept away stray fakes of the
golden rain which had fallen in the ballet
A celebrated operatic vocalist being in
disposed, the orchestra played a selection.
(Surely extra turns" might be contrived
on these occasions y NJ. DelbosQ appeared
in due time--;.cemic- tumbler and vaulter."
Mr.. Imro Fox then followed him-"comic
conjurer." This gentleman though he
spoke with an unique blend Of the German
and American accents, did not persuade me
that conjuring, that gloomiest OF arts, can
be brought into any kind Of relation to
comedy. man may bring rabbit out of
hat and a pigeon out of a canister. A
man may make puns, and may pretend,
more than once, to trip up as he crosses
the stage. But when these two different
kinds of activity are combined they really
are intolerable Mr.. Imro Fox combined
them, and could not bear him. Came the
three Haryeys who walked very grace
fully on wires. Their performance pleased
me as an unusually finished example of
that art which, as the author of "Elemen-
tary Jane has prettily said, seeming to
defy the laws of gravity, owes it's success
to the completeness of its obedience to
them Their performance pleased me-
too, as the one thing on the programme
that was neither deadly dull in itself nor
utterly unsuited to vast stage and vast
auditorium. .,t.,- ,l.
Came Yvette, Guflbert. She is one of the
turns which are of no. use in the EN-
pire. Her-Iart Is an art of little niceties
and nuanees, of little half-tones and fine
shades, and in singing at the Empire she
is about as effective as the writer Of the
Genius of Place" would be in addressing
mass meeting in Hyde Park. OF course
the audience applauds her-,Ie educated
part of it, lest it be thought not to under
stand her; the uneducated part of it, be-
cause she receives fabulous sum for every
performance. So suppose the manage
ment is wise to engage her. AS soon as she
had sung her last song the orchestra played
another long selection. Then came the
most appaHingly tedious thing l have ever
eeen in place of entertainment. How
long 1t lasted do not know; we left before
it was over, before there was any symptom
that 1t soon would be over. 1t may not
have been for more than quarter of an
hour-it seemed an eternity-that we
| watched four young American men riding
around the stage on bicycles and trying to
project with their front wheels small ball
into one or other of two small goals. "Bi-
cycle polo" was the name given to this
cheerful pastime. When I go to a music
| hall l do not pay my money to see four
young men doing what they might on a
winters day in the open air, possibly do
with some enjoyment. Nor can / believe
| that anyone is so inane as to enjoy seeing
| four young men do this thing in the EN-
pire. said as much while conducted my
friend up the staircase. "Who knows?' he
| laughed. at seems to be a droll of city,
| Londres.'
| AS we threaded our way out the Prone
made was still glittering with its habitual
! gloom. noticed in the distance two
| young men who seemed even more gloomy
| than the rest; my brain, suppose, was a
trifie dulled by the whole evening, for 1t
! was not until !. came quite close to them
that recognized my friend and myself in
a mirror As we went out mutes were
still pouring in. Souls on the way to pur-
gatory would have looked more cheerful
The only smile l saw was on the face OF
drunken man whose entry was beina
barred by tall commissionaire I drew
my friends attention to the smile
AS We drove away. coniectured that
even II the man had. been sober his smile
weuld have disqualified him for admit
tance. But then, as my friend (apt pupil
reminded me-, ie he had been sober he
q y -. II