davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1899-09-16
The rIaes Of Eeypt.

The Sies Of Egypt deserve a tribute to
their peculiar qualities. A plague Of
American flies would be luxury COM
pared to the visit of one fly from
Egypt. For untold centuries they have
been in the habit of crawling over
thick-skinned faces and bodies and not
being disiodged. They can stay all day
If they like. Consequently, IL they see
an American eye. and they light on 1t.
not content with that, they try to
crawl in. You attempt to brush them
of. but they only move around to the
other side. until you are mad with
nervousness from their sticky feet.
II they find out your ear they crawl in
and walk around. You cannot discour-
age them. They craze you with their
infuriating persistence. If l had been
the Egyptians the Israelites would
have been escorted out of the country
in state ct the arriyal of the first n.y.
Lillian Bell, in Woman's Home Com
panion.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1899-09-16
TITLES ARE REWARDS
Ger Distinctl0n and Individuality
Up0n the PossessoR.

Henry Labouchere, member of the
British parliament and editor of Lon
don Truth. is moved to decry earthly
konors and dignities after this manner:
1--WE live for = speck of time in an
eternity which has no time. We have .
name by which we are known as .
necessary consequence OF our individ-
uality. But what pleasure can there be
in being called in this speck OF time
either Ny Lord or Sir John by the finite
worms that happen to be existing dur
ing our brief lives? What pleasure, too,
can there be going about bedizened
with ribbons like prize cow? The COW
would prefer a good meal to the rib
bons-so would l."
Before pursuing this commentary any
further it is safe to say that MIR. La
bouchere is not insensiBfe to distinc-
ton. He would not be an Englishman
Of his class and generation if he were.
The thrill the wearer of new title may
be supposed to experience when he is
for the first time addressed as My Lord
or Sir John is precisely the same that
Mr.. Labouchere feels when passersby
say of him: That's Labbg." My Lord,
Sir John and 'Labby" all enjoy the
titles which serve to distinguish them
from others. Mr.. Labouchere's COM
parison of the prize cow is unfortunate.
The cow does not enjoy the ribbons
with which she is bedecked. because she
is only a cow and does not know enough.
If she knew that the ribbons designated
her as the biggest or fattest or best
bred or best milkerin Durham or Devon
shire she would not exchange the dec
Grafton for bale of hay. Neither would
Mr.. Labouchere.
The taste for ribbons and stars and
garters and medals ans swords of honor
dates back to time when they did
mean something, even supposing they
mean nothing now. But they do mean
. great deal this present time-in truth,
nearly or quite as much as they ever
did. The man who is not q lump of clay
would like to be regarded as good as his
fellows and if possible little better.
He does not wear the bedizening rib
bons because they make him look pref
tier. but because they neke him appear
more distinguished. They convey the
impression, these iris-hued adornments.
that he has done something or he would
not be wearing them. If he was moth
ing and nobody he would not have been
chosen as grand marshal of the day
with the big red sash. II he had not
been the tallest man in the regiment
and a good musician he would not have
been put forward as drum major with
his fine clothes.
1t all goes back to the beginning of
things, when the tallest and swiftest
and bravest man was made the head of
the government and was invested with
the lions skin cloak and the bear-tooth
necklace and the eagle feather coronet
and remarked to his admiring con-
s:ituency: "Ye call me chief and We do
we'll" 1t is not the bedizenment, it il
not the color. Any man could attain
that by painting himself sky blue with
yellow streaks and without announcing
any title whatever. 1t is the idea be-
hind it all.-Kansas City Star.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1899-09-16
q THE TlLLeR OF THE SOIL

by dint Of craft he coaxes from the field,
Stubborn ofttimes. a rich. luxurfant yield
WhereNith TO feed the nations of the earth,
Yet they be few who ken his honest worth.
And some do deem him narrow; but Of
stream,
Forest and field. his lore they little dream:
For Nature teaches him her mystic ways
Through each changing seasons pass
ing days.
Far from gilded haunts that tempt mems
souls,
His FURNISHED share the fallow furrow rolls
Along the fertile field: and later, there
The merry harvest song Hits on the air.
Content to labor in his humble place.
Content to fill his small, allotted space.
He Quaffs the glowing sunshine's mellow
wire,
And dwells beneath his own fig tree and
vine.
-Ingar Ingram, In Minneapolis House.
keeper,
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1899-09-16
wantea sewetninr DetteP.

rs there is any place in this town
where they telegraph without wires?"
he asked Of the policeman ON the cor
ner.
That discovery Is too new and We
haven't got it yet" replied the ofElcer.
whats the matter with the old way =
No good. I've kept five or six wires
red hot for half day trying to ret my
brother-in-law to send me money 70 ges
home ON. but I can't even raise hin,-
Philadeiphia Preak
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1899-09-16
PREHISTORIC NAN.
= Third Eye On the TOP Of
the Head.

Deep researches as to the structure
of the human body have recently fur
nished some startling facts regarding
changes which man is at present un-
dergoing physically.
1t is believed that man was forIDer-
" endowed with more teeth than he
possesses now. Abundant evidence ex-
lists that, ages and ages ago, human
teeth were used as weapons of de-
Tense. Unintehtionally, traces of such
use are often revealed by a sneer. The
teeth are sometimes barred, dog-like,
ready, as it were, for action.
The practice of eating our food
cooked and the disuse of teeth as
weapons are said to be responsible for
the degeneration that is going on.
The wisdom teeth, in fact. are disap-
pearing. Human jaws, found in re-
puted paleolitic deposits, have wisdom
teeth with crowns as large as. if not
larger than, the remaining molars.
In ancient times short-sightsd sol
dier or hunter was almost an imPossi-
bility; to-day, whole nation is afiiict-
ed with defective vision. 1t is almost
certain that man once possessed third
eye, by means of which he was enabled
to see above his head. The human eyes
formerly regarded the world from two
sides of the head. They are even now
gradually shifting to more forward
position.
In the dim past the ear-fap was Of
great service in ascertaining the direc-
tion of sounds. and operated largely in
the play Of the features. But the mus
cles of the ear have fallen into disuse,
for the fear of surprise by enemies NO
longer exists.
Again. our sense of smell is marked.
~ inferior to that Of the savages. That
it is still decreasing is evidenced by OBJ
servations of the olfactory organ. But
the nose still indicates = tendency to
become more prominent.-Cincinnati
Enquirer.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1899-09-16
M .Ma~he.t A.theriey.

Branble-I wanted to name the baby
John, but my wife had set her heart on
calling him Gerald.
Thorne-And you named him Gerald,
Of course.
NO, we did not. Ny wife's mothes
thought Ebeneaer was . pretty name,
"a that settled TN. 7. Journal
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1899-09-16
A Centributory Caese.

Sagebrush Sam-Ycr say Bill died OF
q lame arm. How could that be?
Cactus Charlie-Why, yer see. his
arm wuz SO stiff that he couldn't draw
his gun quick, an the other Teller got
the drop on HMM. Y. Journal.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1899-09-16

More men have died and are buried
In the isthmus Of Panama. along the
line Of the proposed canal, than on any|
equal amount ot teEFiteyy II tAs wortE a
~ :. San. -
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1899-09-16

A horse may pull with al his might,
but never with hls name. - Chjeago
OaIy News.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1899-09-16

Edna-I love to ride in front on q
tandem.
Jack-You dor Why?
Because NO matter what happens
there is always some one to fall back
on. "--Chicago Evening News.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1899-09-16

~No; he didn't want "a"
'.All right; make the correction
Correction.--John Smith wishes Il
stated that he 10 not the John Smith
who was ehed for board by his land
lady."-Puok.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-05-06

Made hy Leopold Morse K 60. which
alone is sufficient guarantee. Of their
superior style ana quality.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-05-06

A man visiting Augusta. yesterday.
told story that seems remarkab Bile. 1t
was concerning a man who lives in
neighboring town. who in his attempt
TO save single penny, drove four
miles over the rough roads. 1t seems
that he makes a little maple syrup
and he has an uncle living far away 10
whom he is deeply indebted for some
FAVOR. He thought it would be we'll to
send the said uncle a little sugar. The
sweet material was made, wrapped and
prepared for the postoffice. He weighed
II and estimated that it would go for 10
cents. 50 upon the surface he placed 10
cents in stamps. Upon arriving a the
postoiiice he was told that it would re-
qu!re ii cents. He said when he was
trading with people and one cent came
UP. ne usually expected them to let il
crop, nut the poStmistress was OBJ
durate and said she was at work for
the government; that if the package
went along. il must have IL cents in
stamps. The man considered the stu
alton for few moments and then he
came TO the conclusion he would drive
70 the next town. four miles distant.
and try 10 get the package through for
10 cents. He drove the four miles and
So the story goes. succeeded.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-05-06

How like men some animals are"
suggested loafer who is something Of
philosopher. Il was on one of the
BACK streets. yesterday, and there |
saw a dog which was as suddenly
turned from the object in mind as are
great many men. There We're a num-
Der OF people standing on the sidewalk
looking at something. while near them
was a cat with kitten. Across the
street a dog was trotting along ready
10 dash this way or that. as he felt in
cilned He thought he would come
over and be with the crowd 50 he
came straight for them on a run. not
seeing the cat. Pussy saw the doc,
however. and before the said canine
knew what had happened he felt the
claws in his face, and he had turned 4
flsht about, going for all his life was
worm across the street. 1t was a
ludicrous sight and all applauded the
cat.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-05-06

What hit that man would make to
go upon the stage as he is is a very
common remark heard among theatre
going people as they see an odd char
acter pass along the street. One of
these great hits passed along Water
street. yesterday afternoon. He was
of the genus hobo, presumably a char
ter member in good standing. and TO
have a makeup like his with the eX-
preston would without doubt win for
the actor a great reputation.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-05-06

'One of the most active occupations
| have SEEN" remarked young law
Yer, yesterday afternoon. is that 81
anchor making. The man stands over
his work and handles the hot iron rs
it is thrust under the heavy trip ham,
mer. That man has to go through 50
many gymnastics in his work that he
would remind a person Of jumping
jack. The trip hammer as you know
never warns anyone how Ia mold an
iron. and it does not discriminate about
hitting whatever comes in its way
In consequence the man holding the
iron is often badly bruised by having il
Knocked sideways on account of not
being held right. This man makes
great pay. but he cannot stand the
work for any length of time"
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-05-06

remarkable case Of second sight
was displayed by one of Augusta seers
one day last winter. 1t seems that
there was court reporter in the city
VINO mad lost certain notebook that
ne priced very highly from the fact
that an order had but just arrived for
copy of a certain case he reported
not long before that was in the book
Tie searched high and low for the book
that contained the notes. but all to no
avail y friend jokingly remarked
that ne should see Madame So-and-So
ana out OF the sport of the thing h.
took the friends advice. never dream
ing it would do him the least good
she told the reporter to look in a GER
tain rubbish pile that stood in the
basement of a large building of brick.
1t occurred to the man at once that -
building referred to was the bricl,
court house in neighboring county
where he had been a short time hn-
lore. lie wrote to the ianitor Of tha
building and asked him 10 look in ia
fupmsh pile and see if he could find
d notebook, the description of which he
gave MN. l.o and behold. the naxt
iiiai Drought in return. the notebook
iittie the worse for having been in
'he rubbish heap. but with the content.
sun unnamed, ana for once the doubt ]
ins reporter was fain to admit that
there must be something in clairvov-
ancy. -
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-05-06

Here you will find a complete new
stock of stylish and up-to-date mil
llnery at reasonable prices, and a COM
petent milliner in charge of the de-
partment. Choice new assortment OF
sailor and walking hats just received.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-05-06

A few of the better bicycle riders en-
danger themselves and the public by
squirting along Water street evenings
when they know the police are ut a
different end Of the beat.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-05-06

At this time in the bicycle season one
sees many narrow escapes. and Won
derS that there are not more. This is
the time when the novices are begin
ming to grow confident that they un-
derstand how to manage wheel and
this confidence leaves them when they
get to a place where cool nerve and
skill are required. They are especially
liable to meet with trouble at the cor
nerS Of the streets where there are
other bicyclsts and teams going one
way and another. 1t is sometimes
Notwithstanding to see the manoeuvers
of a beginner in case Of this sort, but
blind luck usually favors them, though
at times their wheels will come out of
the affair a little the worse for wear
This is also the stage when the gentle
men noVices believe they have control
fully enough to lift their hats when
they meet a lady. or that they can
smoke a cigar while riding. Both are
solemn failures.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-05-06
Daily kennebec 3ournal.
Local Matters.
Takin' OF His Ease.

Green banks of river, an takin' of my
ease
Whistlin' when | want to, an singing
when / please;
a holiday in blossoms tilted over by the
bees
easel
Green banks of a river-Thar's a whis-
perrin o trees
Their wavy ringiets rumped by the
kisses o. the breeze.
An birds air singin' o yer soul 10 hcaN-
en-, by degrees
Green banks of a river, folks, an takin'
of my ease!
Atlanta Constitution.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-05-06

a little dog. a little boy ana a large
man were the cause of much amuse-
ment To few people on a back street.
yesterday. The dog was Of the mon
erel tribe. the boy was one of many Of
his kind in the neighborhood. The dog
Nas attached to string at the other
cnd Of which was the boy who was
dragging the dog along against III"
latters consent. The man appeared on
the scene and demonstrated with TIN
urchin for his cruelty. Mind your
own business. mister" the lad said.
and This made the man angry. where
upon he gave the boy a box on the ears
which caused a bowling from the youth
in which the dog joined. Then the
man cut the string and tried to get the
dog to run away. but the animal re
fused and chung still closer to his for
mer tormentOr. The last scene de-
picted was the boy going in one direC-
ton and the man in another. With the
dog following at the heels of the boy.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-05-06

r. W. sOULE, THE Hustler"
Augusta, Maine.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-12-07


1t is scarcely possible that Mr..
Mckinley does not realize that
Mark Hanna is an offense to all
persons who hate a bully of high
or low degree and who resent q
public and boastful exhibition (
political immortality. But even if
the president shared this senti-
ment himself he would not be in q
position to call down q man who
was responsible for his nomina-
ton for the presidency and who
is pulling all the strings he can
lay his hands on to make McKin-
ley his own successor.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-12-07

Arch Wood isout on bond Pend
ing the decision of the supreme
court, but he is not ssservipg his
time at home under bonds and
will shorten his ti,ne of imprison.
ment considerably if the supreme
court suatains the decision of the
lower court" as said local pap
er this week. He will be requir-
ed to serve the full time just the
same, unless the case is reversed.
-Dunlsp Herald.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-12-07

: Tyre, Mich,
MISS Annie Il. Guhhing, -. dy.
says, 81 suffered long time froA
spe psis; lost flesh and became very
weak. Kodol Dyspepsia Cure COM
pleteIy cured me-" 1t digests what
YOU eat and cures all forms ofstomsch
trouble. 1t never fails to give imme-
iiiate relief in the worst cases. Elliott
s. Harvey.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-12-07
How is Your Wife?

Has she lost her beauty2 If so, con-
stipstion, indigestion, sick headache
are the principal causes. ksrl's Glover
Root Tea has cured these ills for half
q century. Price % cts. and so cts.
Money refunded If results are not sat-
i by Elliott & Harvey. =
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-12-07
Tell Your Sister

A beautiful complexion is All impos-
sibllity without good pure blood, the
sort that only exists in connection with
good digestion, q healthy liver and
bowels. Ksrl's Glover Root tea acts
directly OF the bowels, liver and kid
neys, keeping them in perfect health.
Price 20 cts. and so cts. 8
Sold by Elliott 81 Harvey.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-12-07
DO You know

Consumption is preventabley Science
has proven that, aud also neglect is
suicidal. The worst cold or cough can
be cured with Shiloh's Cough and Con.
sumption Cure. Sold OH positive
guarantee for over fifty years. .
Sold by Elliott & Harvey.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-12-07
o., Every Pottle

OF shilob,s consumption Cure is this
guarantee: "All we ask of you is to
nae two.thirds of the contents OF this
hottie faithfully. then If you can say
von are not benefited return your bot
tie to your druggist snd hemay refund
tho nrice pad" Price % cts. and 81
ats and 81 co.
ce. :. Elliott & Harvey.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-12-07

Elliott & Harvey guarantee every
bottle of Chamberlain's Cough Remedy
Ahd will refund the money to any one
who is not satisfied after using two
thirds of the contents. This Is the
best remedy in the world forsla grippe,
coughs, colds, Group and whooping
cough and is plessa0t. and safe to take.
1t prevents any tendency of q cold TO-
result in pueumonis..- d3o
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-12-07

Compare qualities and prices on
ladies Jackets and you will find tho
Leader offers the best bargains to be
fnnud IN The CITY
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-12-07

j. b. Clarke, Peoria, ILL.,, says, Sur
geons wanted to operate on me for
piles, but cured them with DeWitt'a
Witch Hazel Salve. "It is infalltble for
piles and skin diseases. Beware Of
fogpterfetts. Elliott q Harvey,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-12-07
Lost.
est confidence and b,

,~st confidence and hope
Many have ~. '--"ause they have
as we'll as health, D.~ ''--sss WIS
been told their Kidney 0le.- =
incurable. Foley's Kidney Cure is o
Guaranteed remedy for the discour-
aged and disconsolate.
.G.a OSBORNE. dSo
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-12-07

We have q fnll line of l0c. sheet
music, latest songs and muslc BOOK
and folios. j. d. Brown & Son.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-12-07

The finest line of holiday goods shown
in Missouri Valley and articles ofster
ling worth as we'll % a full line of toys
and books that are sold at the price
that defy competition are now being
sold at G. s. Osbornes Drug Store.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-12-07

A number Of young men re-
turned to Yale college the other
day who have spent their summer
vacation acting as mortormen on
the New Haven street railways /.
All are poor men who are helping
themselves through college.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-12-07

See tie new offer on the Encyclope
dia BRITANNICA. The present offe
will be withdrawn on December Is.
j. ID. Brown & Son.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-12-07
oSTEoPAT n,

-
The science of Osteopathys al
though comparatively new, yet ia
one that accompllshes wonders,
and we most respectfully urgesyou
to investigate it, and to this end,
we will be very glad to furnish
anyone 80 desiring, with literature
treating on the subject.
All known durable diseases,
both acute and chronic, are suo-
cessfully treated by this WONDER
full science, and legions who have
been pronounced as incurable BY
other methods have responded
easily to this system. Only cur.
able cases are accepted by %, IL
yours is not one amensble to our
method of tleatment We will
frankly tell you SO, and If we can
benefit you to any extent we will
also inform you Of the fact.
We charge nothing. for either
Consultation or Examination.
II your are afflicted call and
learn our opinion on your case.
A lady operator in charge. Of
Ladies department.
tDR. MoCLELlAND,
DR.. FARMER,
Mrs. MCCLELLAND.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-12-07

Haden, Summit, Ala, says.
II think Kodol Dyspepsia Cure is 9
splendid r,ediciue. prescribe 1t, and
my confidence in IL grows with con-
tinued use." 1t digests what you eat
and quickly cures dyspepsia and in
digestion.
xe IeIIjntt g. Haruev
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-12-07
M; Cure a Cold While You
Sleep

Take .weeks' Break Up-A.Cold Tab
let's" No Cure, N. roy -. at,'o Nv -
Elliott s. Harvey sole az u's' -
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-12-07

James Yates informed us few
days since that just as soon az
the company would locate him, he
would begin the erection of new
elevator by the Illinois Central
tracks. The new elevator will be
erected after the latest plans and
while it will not be as large, prob.
ably, as some, it will be Que that
admits of as large an amount of
grain rs many of the large ones.
Logan NUCLEUS.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-12-07
Elliott 4 Harvey.

Remember that your perscriptioDs
are accurately compounded and moth
ing but pure chemicals used at G. s.
OsbOrnes.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1899-12-07
To Cure q Cold While You
Sleep

Take "Weeks' Break Cold Tab
let's" No Cure, No Pay. Price Csc.
Elliott q Harvey sole agents. If