The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1899-08-01
THE CIIII4D'S GUIDE.
The Lesson Of the Laundry

Teacher-You omitted to say some
thing when you entered the room just
now. What is it that your father says
| Lionel, when he comes down to break
| fast in the morning?
Child-He generally says it's dam
| funny thing protested cook can't even
| boil an egg properly.
Teacher-But before that he says
Good morning" 1t is an act Of civili-
ty which you must not omit in future.
Now, to-day we are going to talk lit
tie about laundries. Now If you were
going to start laundry, what would
you require?
Child-I suppose soap, starch, water,
a piece of string to hang the clothes
out to dry on, and some baskets and
donkey cart for their collection and
delivery.
Teacher see that, like most chill
dren, you mention only what is simple
and concrete. But in the case of the
laundryman it is far more necessary
that he should have a sense of humor, a
practical monopoly in the neighborhood,
an arrangement with the linen manu-
facturers, and certain moral obtuse-
HCSS, DtSiuSS OIFt VI lNp cthSl eiiiiitoS
which l shall mention. Soap. which
you named first is the least essential
Its place can be taken by chemicals
which save time and labor, and by rot
ting fabrics add to the laundryman's
commission from the manufacturer.
Child do not see how sense of hui
NOR is of use in a laundry.
Teacher will explain. You know
what soft-fronted shirts are?
Child-My eldest brother, Reginald
wears them.
Teacher--And are they really soft
fronted?
Child-Only when they are quite new.
Then he pins piece of paper to the
front and writes on it; Don't starch
this
Teacher--And when it returns from
the laundry?
Child-It is as hard as a brick.
Teacher-Ahd does that always hap
pen?
Child-Always. But sometimes only
that part of the front Is starched where
the buttons and buttonho!es come.
Teacher--What is the effect Of that?
Child-It is very difficult to button
the shirt, and frequently the buttons
come off. If 1t Is put on and buttoned,
owing to the starehed central ridge, the
general appearance Is rather that of a
rock bound coast than of soft fronted
shirt. And Reginald says he'll be
Teacher-Never mind what he says.
Does he change his laundry?
Child-He cannot, because there is
only one convenient in the neighbour
hood.
Teacher-Now, you see two things
why the laundryman should have a
sense of humor, and why he should !
have a monopoly. 1t may be said
rightly, that the humor is attenuated, !
or otherwise the Joke would not be so
frequently repeated at your brothers |
expense; but 1t must exist, or the Joke |
would never have been made. / must |
also add that the monopoly, though de-
sirable, is not absolutely essential For
in a neighborhood where there are two
and B-what A losses by a
transfer of custom from himself to b he
will probably retain by a similar trans
fer from b to A, Now, with regard to
the arrangement with linen manufac-
turers, might have added button man
this is carried out by a
fringer
Child-What is fringer?
Teacher-A machine, worked by |
steam power. essential to the laundry
man 1t is provided with sharp steel
claws, and is used to produce an irreg-
ular fringe on the anterior edge of shirt
cuffs, and also on the ventral and DOR
saledges of the front.
Chld-But do people want fringe
there?
Teacher-By no means neither do
they want their soft fronted shirts
spoiled nor their buttons broken by a
stear, stamper, nor their handkerchiefs
starched But it is the art of the laun-
lryman to make people pay for what
hey want and accept in return what
hey most desire to avoid
Chid--Now / think / understand
What you meant when you said that the
aundryman should possess a ceEtain
mount of moral obtuseness. But
I've frequently heard it said that clean
mess is next to goodness
Teacher-If so, in the case of the
aundry, it Is an extremely poor second.
But then cleanliness is a vague term.
Me laundryman may consider that a
lress shirt has been properly washed,
When your brother Reginald or your
ather would think differently.
Chjld--Yes that often happens PaDa