The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1899-06-08

ChfIdren's Funnyisms.
(Selected from Exchanges.)
Mamma-From what animal do we
get our milk?
Flossie-From the milkman-Trained
Motherhood.
Who's the smartest boy in your
class, Bobby?" asked his uncle.
I'D like to tell you," answered Bobby
modestly, ''only papa says l mustn't
boast. "-Harper's Bazaar.
''The only objection said the stern
parent, Il have against the young man,
my dear child, is that he has no noble
ambition-no high or worthy object in
life"
''Why, papa, how can you say that?
He wants me."-New Orleans Times
Democrat.
teacher in one of the Cleveland pub
lie schools said to the class in English
composition: Il wish every member of
the class would write out conversation
between grocer and one of his GUS
toners, introducing some pathetic Incl
dent or reference" Among the compo-
sitions handed in was the following by
sweet little girl: &c What do you
want? asked the merchant The lady
replied. "A pound of tea Green or
blacka asked the merchant 4 think
I'll take the black she said; it's for
funeral Credit Lost
A little boy said to his sister in the
nursery: who's down in the parlor?"
Il don't know" was the reply; don't
think there is any one" "Oh, yes,
there is" he persisted. "Well then, how
do you know?" was asked. Cause"
he replied, Il heard mammals company
voice. Credit Lost
Ethel, aged 5, was learning to sew,
and one day, after vainly trying to make
the preliminary preparation with a
needle and thread, she asked: Mamma,
don't they call the hole in the needle
the eye?" Eyes, DEAR" was the reply.
Well" continued the little miss, ell
bet this old needle is cross-eyed y
Trained Motherhood.
Where Reasoning Failed-"Mamma,
have l any children" asked little s.
year old Ella upon her return from
Sunday school. 'Why no, of course not.
What put that idea into your head %
replied the surprised mother BE
cause" answered the little lady, "our
lesson at Sunday school today was about
peoples children and their children s
children. "-Credit Lost
An Incomplete Observation-Disclosures
We'll, Tommie, how are you getting on
at SCHOOL," Tommy (aged 8)-"First
rate. l amt doing as we'll as some of
the other boys, though. 1 can stand
on my head, but l have to put my feet
against the fence. l want to do it with
out being near the fence at all, like some
of the boys do and I can after I've
been to school long enough" -Credit
Lost.
"Your mother agrees with me exactly
Johnny" said his father, proceeding to
trim the twigs from tough switch "She
thinks, with me, that you need a good
trouncing, and you are going to get it,
my son." YES" bitterly exclaimed
Johnny, you and NAV always agree
when it comes to lickin' me. You and
maws the whole thing. 1 don't never
have no show. The family's run by a
trust" Chicago Tribune.
A Boston Sunday school teacher not
long ago gave her class a rather
graphic description Of how Eve was Gre
ated from the rib of Adam "Msmma,' -
said the youngest member of the class
that same evening, pressing his hand
to his side with look of distress, I'm
afraid I'm going to have a wife,
Household
WHAT TO COOK FOR THE SICK AND
FOR DELICATE CHILDREN.
As Given in a Lecture by Miss Farme r,
Principal of the Boston Cooking
| school.
Note-In all recipes given in the Bos-
ton cooking school lectures, it should be
remembered that the spoon and cup
measurements are always level, and for
dry mixtures, the butter should be even
ed off with knife. This rule applies
to all dry mixtures, liquid and butter
Miss Farmers lecture on sick room
cookery was a most instructive one
Sickness comes to all families at some
time, and it is then that we most appre-
ciate knowledge of what is wholesome
easily digested and nutritious for those
who are weak and struggling back to
health. We can thoroughly agree with
Miss Farmer when she says that, if we
would take as much care of our well
ones as we do of our sick ones, they
would never be sick
The following recipes are adapted to
various kinds of illness. There are help
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