The leader., 1899-02-22
THEY HAD TO EAT
By George AIDE
" A HMAC, old friend, I'm glad to see


| and added his overcoat TO the sprawl
! ing heap Of garments on the trunk
| nearest the door IL didn't want to
eat until you came. In fact, ! couldn't
eat until you came"
| Great Scott! Are you broke, too?''
| TOO? | don't like that word too.
| Listen TO my tale of woe: The laundry
boy came in to-day and tookeyerything
! had except II cents. That's why I'm
| going to dine with you this evening"
| "If you dine with me you'll have
seven courses of Chicago atmosphere.
Your II cents is princely fortune
compared to what have"
"What happened to you?"
well. had 81 saved out. | thought
| Il would tide me over until tomorrow
night. To-day MIR. Harvey suggested
in the most casual way that he would
| like to have the dollar which l. Dor
rowed three weeks ago. He was Il lit
| tie sarcastic and insinuated that was
unreliable, SO got mad and paid him
| the dollar"
That's very foolish. Never let your
| temper run away with your judgment.
| It's all right to be indignant. but don't
| be indignant to the point of giving up
money. especially at crisis like this.
just for that one rash performance
may have to go without dinner"
You can't eat on me, that's certain.
What are we going to do?"
There's only one thing to do. Well
wait for Barney and accept his invita-
ton"
This will be the one night when Bar
ney doesn't come home"
"Oh. don't take such "a discouraged
view of the matter. Here! Here's half
of the evening paper. Improve your
mind while you wait. Besides, |
was reading in a magazine yesterday
that most people eat too much and too
often"
Speaking of eating. the first thing
see in this paper is the menu for the
banquet of the House-Movers' confer
ence at the Auditorium tonight. just
listen to this: Blue points. consomme
a la something, whitehall, filet, mignon,
punch, quail Think of it, Jim. Com
| mon, ordinary house-movers eating
quail at the Auditorium, while we, two
of the most intellectual things that
ever happened, are dying of hunger in
| hall bedroom"
Would Sou change places with any
house-mover?"
well, of course. a house-mover does
not rank with any member of my noble
profession. but II waver at times
when | reflect that all of the stupid
men, these earthly creatures, so to
speak, with pink jowls and conical
heads. are going against truffies and
| champagne, while us geniuses are
lined up at the dairy lunch calling for
| sinkers."
plain living and high thinking, my
boy"
"Yes-thinking how you're going to
| get the plain living"
| "Hark. Methinks ! hear Bernard"
| Barney, the third member of the COM
mune, had been with them for three
weeks. He and Jim had gone the prim
rose college path together. Inasmuch
as Barney's salary did not encourage
him to indulge in the luxury of a hall
/ vi HlS wv IL, IL DSClI
ranged that he should come into the
room with Jim and Mac, sleeping on a
| dropsical sofa which yawned into a
couch at night. BY having three in the
room there was a saving all around. 1t
had been agreed that the money thus
saved should be expended on books.
| After three weeks the nucleus of the
library consisted of copy of The
Prisoner of Zenda," which Barney had
bought at secondhand store. He
| agreed to read it aloud to Jim and Mac
| All went well until he came to page III,
and then the story jumped abruptly to
| page $50. The commune held a meet
ling and denounced the bookseller.
! 1t was Barney coming upstairs. AS
| he entered the room the two fell upon
| him.
| "Preserver." exclaimed Jim.
"How much have you got?" asked
Mac.
"I'll bet | know what you're limiting
about" said Barney.
| Jim-You must be a mnd-reader
| Come! No concealment of assets.
Have you on or about your person at
the present moment any money or
moneys of the total equivalent of one
| dollar?
Barney-Well, gentlemen of the hold
up committee, l have this TO say in re-
Spouse to your very earnest and signifi-
cant welcome. My total wealth is now
represented by one five-cent piece.
commonly called nickel, and four one
cent pieces, sometimes improperly
designated as pennies. walked home,
rather than waste any part of my es-
tate on car fare, having it in mind that
| If missed you l would at least retain
enough of the legal tender to buy what
ever you can get for a nickel. AS for
the other four cents, | suppose there
are places at which one may obtain four
cents worth of food. but | maintain
that no gentleman will split nickel
in ordering his dinner.
Mac-That's right. Besides, four
cents worth of quail wouldn't go very
far.
Barney-Am | to understand that
both of you are entirely bankrupt?
Jim-We have II cents between us.
Mac-My colleague is most consid-
crate. The fact is that he has the II.
Barney-Then we have total of 20
cents. That might do il there were
only two of US.
Mac-Oh. don't mind mel Go on and
stuff yourselves. I'll stay here and
perish.
JIM give fair warning that ! am