The Republican journal., 1899-06-15
A PERFECT FIT.

He was very short, but his name was
long enough. Bufo Vulgaris his wife
called him when she wanted to be i'm
he was Vulgar Bufo Perhaps she thought
he was handsome-you or [ wouldn't have
thought so. He had only one redee ming
feature, or perhaps l should say two-his
eyes were beautiful; they would have an
swered for jewels. His everyday suit
and he wore it on Sundays, too-was home
ly as homely could be. 1t was dull and
dirty and bristling all over with knots
And just now it was SO old and dilapi-
dated
80 my dear, You look like trampr'
his wife remarked cheerfully one day.
''Y We got holes in your elbows again.
(Iou needn't expect me TO mend 'emD
And how the knees of your pants do look!
l wish somebody's give you one of those
stretching things you see advertised in all
the papers. Or else | wish they'd raise
your wages, and we could get EN- our
selves But times are so hard!'
Mrs. Vulgar Bufo sighed deeply 1t was
bad enough to be common gardeners
wife, anyway, but to get only your 'keep'
for your palms,
Il do look shabby" sighed her hus-
band, despondently. 81 saw myself this
morning in CLASSY Brook IS mirror, and it
made me hopping
1T doesn' take much to make you hop
ing laughed Mrs. Vulgar, trying to pick
up her spirits. I'm tell you, my dear,
it's time you had new suit O. clothes.
You just run down to the tailor's and
pick one out. Tell him to charge it"
''Charge it. Ho. no. that's good jokel
My dear wife, all the really good, fashion
able tailors do strictly cash business.
That won go. But L Il tell you secret
he leaned toward her and blinked his
beautiful eyes mysteriously-' Pm get
ting up new suit all on my own hook. 1t
is almost done now."i
'Bufo Vulgaris, you making a suit O
clothes. They'll be sight to behold"'
$50 they will, ma am, and you shall be-
hold EN- Youth say, How lovely"
just wait, my dearl
And Mrs Bufo Nulgars waited She
really couldn't do anything else; but every
time she thought of the home made suit
her husband was getting up, it made her
laugh in her queer, shrill, creaky little
voice. She and Bufo both had queer,
creaky voices, and, unfortunately, all the
children were growing up with the same
popularity of speech.
Meanwhile the old suit grew shabbier
and shabbier. The head gardener actually
kicked its wearer out of the walk one day
and he such faithful assistant garden
er, too, and nearly twenty years in one
"place!' But really the head gardener
had little bit of an excuse-that dread
full suit of clothes, you know. Of course
he thought Vulgar Bufo was real tramp
At last, one day, he stole away by him
self to try on the new suit.
''Behind the Stonewall House is a good,
retired place." he murmured-or Pm
afraid he creaked-as he went along 81
must be by myself. Mrs. Vulgar would
laugh at me if it wasn't success. She'd
have a fit if didn't.''
1t was indeed very quiet and retired be-
hind the Stonewall House, and Bufo Vul-
garis-it was such an important occasion,
let us call him by his dignified name-pro
ceeded to remove the shabby old clothes
1t was quite a piece of work, but by dint
of lively kicking and squirming they final
ly came off in one big, clumsy piece. He
rolled them up carefully and then-ate
them up! I'm sorry to say it, but what
can l do as long as it's the truth? Such
an unsavOry meal-no wonder they called
him Vulgar Bufo!
But-but what was this? He had this
new suit on all the time, under the old
one! There it was, fitting like glove, and
glossy and fine as you please! The head
gardener would never have kicked that
suit of clothes out of the way. Tramp,
indeed! This dapper looking little crea-
ture was real dandy.
He hurried home to his wife, his heart
full of honest pride. She met him at the
door.
''How do you do, sir?" she began in a
formal tone-then she cried, 'Why, Vul-
gar Bufo, it's you! Who'd have thought
it? Is that the suit of clothes you We been
making? How lovelyr'
"'How lovely!'" echoed he, compla-
Gently. Didn't | prophesy YOU say it,
Mrs. Bufo? And it no more than shows
your good taste. l call it quite suit O.
clothes myself"
"Quite suit O. clothes! It's dream
"a fantasyr'
ut is quite 'fantsy,'" murmured he,
with his little creaky laugh.
'And the fit of themn' went on the
little toad wife's admiring voice, regard
less of interruption. "Why, my dear,
they look as if they grew on your
Bufo Vulgaris shrugged his shoulders
under the sleek, shiny new suit
''They - they did," he said meekly.
Annie Hamilton Donnell, in Zion's Her
aid.
Kent's Hill, Maine.