Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-05-30

was making the rounds with his little
daughter, typical Yankee girl of sweet
10. The treasurer, who had reason to
be particularly polite to the American,
handed the young lady a $4,000 note to
nold Tor moment. She demurely said
Thank you ever SO much,' and opened
her tiny purse preparatory to depositing
1t snugly therein. She had partly folded
1t when the genial treasurer started and
said:
Il really didn't give it to you to keep"
Miss Innocence opened wide her beau
tlIul eyes, and as she returned it quietly
remarked:
L beg your pardon-I misunderstood
You; thought II was Il souvenir"
-:o:-
Young housewife TO obliging friend)-
Did you tell the butcher to send me
leg of mutton:" Obliging Friend-''Yes,
dear; but he said he had no legs Of NUT
ton in today, so l told him to send you
leg of beef instead. It'll Bits
-:o:
Things in old Kentucky are not like
they used to be- sighed Senator Lindsay
al the Riggs house in Washington, as he
laid down a Louisville paper in the pres
ence OF a Star reporter and gazed remin-
iscently into space.
No, indeed; and [ tell you the old
timers observe the change Of course |
won't say that the change is not for the
better, but still, we remark the differ
ence. We are having Il very hot political
campaign N the state, and the Democrats
are going at each other, hammer and
tongs They are calling each other ali
kinds OF liars and horse thieves, SO to
speak, and apparently with perfect i'm
punity. That's what is SO surprising.
To tell your adversary that he is not
speaking the truth is comparatively a
mil T. II, IL
case that you could call man liar in
Kentucky with impunity.
But. would you believe it, sir. they
don't seem to mind it at all in this cam
paign. Well, WELL the mutations Of time
are wonderful"
Conditional Superstition-"Wo you
be willing to eat at table where there
were thirteen people?" We'll Il good
deal would depend upon whether | was
goin' to get the meal fer nothin or not
Life.
According to the PIattsburgh Press the
meanest man on earth lives in the town
Of Chazy. he put a large porcelain egg
in the nest of an ambitious Aen and found
that the eggs she afterWard laid were III
creased in size. Then he put goose egg
III the nest. and the aforesaid hen laid
an egg Just as large He was so pleased
washed football in the nest and waited
results. When he went the next time to
search for eggs he found one as big as
the football, but no hen in sight. Secur
ing the egg, he saw engraved on il by hen
photography these words:
I'm no ostrich, but | have done my
best"
Later he found the hen inside the egg.
His Ccmment-''At least said the
artist. who was engaged in painting q
portrait of the president of the Fat Men,
club, this is one picture the critics can't
accuse of lack in BREADTH and coiot" :
indianapolis Journal
Home-Made-W ilkins-''Deuced pref
ty girl l saw at your window Is she
foreign:" Billlins-"No a domestic''-
Brooklyn Life
There was brassy individual on a
Cleveland street car not great while
ago, who insisted upon putting his feet
on the seat in front of him He sat on
the seat that faced the other seats, at
the front of the car.
There were three passengers on the
seat that held the obnoxious feet and
they looked at them with great disfavor
They were large feet, well shod, but as
ornaments they were-if the passengers
of place.
Presently quiet man sitting next the
window, leaned forward little.
Sir he said to the man with the
feet, kindly remove your shoes from the
seat"
The man stared at him insoently.
What's thatT' he growled.
4 asked you to remove your feet from
the seat" said the quiet man.
''Why?' said the offender.
, l. l.
car you must behave like a gentleman"
said the quiet man.
MY fare is paid said the offender.
THAT may be-" said the quiet man,
''but paying your fare doesn't give you
the privilege Of playing the hog
The offender laughed coarsely.
Say" he said, with strong sarcastic
emphasis, do you own this car.
Yes, I do,'' replied the quiet man,
with admirable promptness.
The stranger was paralyZed.
He stared hard at the quiet man. Then
he took down his feet.
Hans?" Rans-''To school; teacher is
going to show us the eclipse Of the moon
tonight Mother-"Here, you stay at
home; if your teacher wants to show you
anything he can do it during school
hours. '-Tit-Bits.
Mrs Blanks '.just-over' maid is in the
habit of wrapping herself in a voluninous
brown shawl whenever she stirs abroad.
The warm weather has made no differ
ence; the shawl is worn just the same.
Bridget" said Mrs. Blank the other
day, 4 should think you'd be uncom-
fortably warm in that shawl. Why don't
you leave it Off now that spring has
Gomez What. cried Bridget; land
show me figger. Shure, ma'am, an ye
can't name for me to so out loike that a.
shown me fggert' York Sun.
Mrs. Gotrex-''Mabel, dear, are you
sure Mr.. Woody loves you for yourself
alone?" Mabel-''Yes, I'm sure he does,
mamma. He is always so restless when
you are in the room. It'd Bits.
--:O:-
Lord Justice Romer of England has
swept away a venerable precedent and
established greatly improved one in its