Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-08-27
HE DOESN'T LIKE IT.
THE IDLER Is VERY BITTER
AGAINST CLASSIC MUSIC.
Was RICHARD WAGNER A MANIAC I?
A Controversy About the Grent Com
poser and what n Norfolk Editor
trnItos-Rnt Large nv nm Elephant.

The clever young editor OF the Norfolk
Landmark" is a good man. but he lacks
nerve. / do not say this harshly but
pityingy. Last Tuesday he printed an
exceptionally bright article entitled AS
TO the Mysteries Of Music" and in this
he made some back-handed slaps at
classic music. but never once did he come
right out and say that he wouldn't give
one good. lively cake-walF air for ten
stacks OF Becthhoven's sonatas. ] pity
that editor. bat time win set him right
If he ever marries and gets n wife who
dabbles in orator'os or fragmentary an
thems. delivered IN m0n0syllabic install
ments the courage OF his convictions will
strengthen. Yea, the time may come
when like myself. he'll have the pluck
10 say uuhesitatiugly and unequivocally.
that classic music is Tommy rot" and
that symphonies and all those what-you-
may-call-ems are sufficient 10 drive
Temperance lecturer 10 drink
Up at my house the plano perpetualy
mutiaies the ether, and / am an unknown
magnificent among little cotcrie OF mu-
sicians-vOcal Instrumental ornamental.
ard nOt-Worth-a-continent Assem-
bic there 20 advance ;he cause Of melody
and suicide. The queen Bee. more appro-
priately known as the %ommander-in-
Chief. is herself a musician and plays
the piano with one hand TO say nothing
Of doing the soprano" and.running clear
away with technique" whatever that
H.. Then. too there is a contralto who
lives down the street door or so below
the Chinese laundry She plays the piano
" mi.
the Queen Bee. When things are dun she
chimes in her voice. too, and the duets
we have are alternately vociferous. ag-
gressive. tempestuous, pessimistic anar-
chisuc, and altruistic. For the benefit OF
those despicable. helpless ignoramuses,
whose feeble. pickering cerebral matter
has never yet been illumined by the light
OF the divine art" | will explain that a
contralto is the deepest voice a woman
can have. I have known some contratos
10 attain depth Of from y 10 16 feet,
though this prOfundity was generally due
10 wrath against their husbands A voice
Of this character usually has compass
OF two octaVes beginning with T. below
middle c. and taking every conceivable
liberty with the alphabet. The next time
you hear a chorus containing female
voices-I don't mean a chorus Of gossips-
you'll observe a kind OF frog-in-your-
throat tone that injects itself now and
then. That's the contralto-the lady bull
frog, so TO speak. She enters the hub
bub just as things are at their worst and
continues TO be guilty Of disorderly con-
duct and breach Of the peace until the
patrol wagon arriyes-and the piano
swoons under repeated beatings.
Ducts are mighty sweet and lovely for
IN. toe Il -
them is TO get the two singers to pull to-
gether and 70 work we'll I'm traces. One
knows one selection and the t'other sets
her mind on something else. After they
have tinkered around for some little time
during which the respectful audience
doesn't know whether pOliteness justifes
them in speaking or not. the singsters
finally hit on something which suits.
Then they discover that neither can
play the accompaniment. and they balk
After much backing of ears and rolling
OF the whites in their eyes, they start Off
BY this time the audience is frantic. they
have begged and besought the vocalists
to 80 ahead and get through with tho
internal business. for during the interval
of pickering everything else is suspended
But. heho! also hully-gee. Now they're
off with their staccatoes. allegrettoes.
crescendoes. and diminucndoes-tro
I'm the 2:4O class-until all OF sudden
they hang a snag. punctures their tires.
and come TO dead halt. one Of them
has made a mistake, or skipped a line in
the notes, or done something wrong. but
the highly-cultured audience not realizing
that anything had gone amiss. applaud
most generously.
The rest Of the evening will probably
be devoted by the singers to scathing
criticisms of other vocalists. or 10 cor
recting the non-musical ignoramuses i'm
their pronunciation OF the names Of mu-
Steal composers. For instance. if YOU
speak OF Chopin as "Chop-pin." instead
Of 'Show-pan," you are acknowledged to
be hopeless ass. So also. If you pro-
nounce Wagner as it should be called in
English. you are told in cold cutting
language that the fellow is known as
Vorg-ner Indeed. you are made TO feel
that you know absolutely nothing. IL
you were asked your own name you
would have 10 hunt it up in the city
directory before you could convey the de-
sired information.
The groundwork of the Norfolk edito-
rial was suggested by a paper called
Art versus Richard Wagner" which re-
Gently appeared under the signature Of
Jesse Lewis Orrick in the conservative
Review" of Washington. In this article
the memory OF the late lamented Dick is
made the central figure, around which is
waged a red-hot discussion between the
authorities "He is" says my Norfolk
friend, Ito one-half Of the critics the
demon of wild nonsense. and to the other