The record-union., 1899-09-19
LovEMAKING I'm THE TUNNEL
Young Couple Were Innocent, but
the Passengers Didn't Know It.

A young couple whose exteriOrS bore
all of the indescribable, yet tangible,
earmarks that they hadn't been "a
young couple" strictly speaking. for
any great length Of time, boarded a
Washington bound train at Baltimore
The other afternoon, says the Wash
ington Star AS usual, of course, in
the cases of young couples whose gen
eral appearance and demeanor cast
them under the awful suspicion of hav-
ing only recently been married, these
two We're regarded out of the tails CT
the eyes of all the other passengers.
They smiled indulgently, which seems
to be the approved kink in these in
stances. The two well-attired young
men in the seat directly in the rear
of that occupied by the young couple
looked with especial indulgence and
mild pity into each others eyes when
they both concluded simultaneously
that they were right astern Of newly
spliced pair, but they made no demon
stration other than this, and after the
exchange of glanses went on reading
their newspapers. j
The sensation began when the Bal
timore tunnel was reached, immedi-
ately after the young man with the
girl had brought her a glass of water.
From the seat occupied by the young
couple the sound of cooling by the
young couple proceeded, followed by
male protestations something like this:
Does 90? And if so, how muchy?
Does 90 lub him forty nine cents
worth? (Gurgle.1 And how muchy
doeS him lub him angle birdie? Seven
- ILL rr1rr%c 10 \
And would him angel-cakey trade him
for big deggie and bushel o choc-
olate creamses?" G4ots of gurgle.)
There was no light in the car as the
train went through the tunnel, but the
coarse, brutal men know how to laugh
without Illumination. The litter that
greeted the beginning of the coolng
soon developed into howls, and there
were calls Of "Time." and demands for
a breakaway, and that sort of thing.
When the train emerged into the
light, the young people both looked as
mad as hornets. The bride sat straight
UP in her seat and regarded the water
color at the other end Of the car with
stony hatred. The young husband was
red faced and probably on the war
path. He turned about in his seat and
faced the young men who sat directly
behind him. They were smiling, but
reading their newspapers.
'T want to know, and know it in q
hurry" said the young husband in a
quiet but exceedingly intense tone.
(which of you two imbeciles has been
making a damphool of himself at my
expense?'
With one voice, and with every ap-
pearance of sincerity, both OF the
young men disclaimed responsibility
and positively denied that they had
opened their heads except to laugh,
while the train was in the tunnel. They
succeeded in convincing the angry
young benedict of their innocence. The
young man resumed his seat when his
wife tugged his sleeve.
"I'd like to have hold Of the blamed
loafer that did it, all the same" he
said, savage1y.
Then the beady-eyed, shriveled-up
little ventriloquist who had been CIV
ing his performance at a Baltimore re-
sort during the summer, and VINO oc-
cupied one of the rear seats in the
coach, arose and stretched himself and
walked into the smoker, with a satur-
nine leer on his mischievous face.