Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-09-19

his oldest boy on the eEtraVaSance VI
smoking indianapolis journal.
Bishop Huntington told this story on
himself during one of his last visits to
Washington The good bishop, 1t seems,
once went down to a town in Connecticut
to perform a marriage ceremony. lie
arrived the day before the wedding, ana
he left at the same time the bridal PAIR
did, although he was driven to diff
ferent railway station. As he passed
through the station, carrying his travel
ing bag, he was aware that he was ere
ating sensation. but was totally at
loss to account for it. In the car he
found that he was still the object of
amused attention. The porter positively
snickered as he passed his seat, and final
ly, just as the train pulled out, he came
up and assisted the churchman TO re-
move his overcOat.
What is the matter with you. my
MANI asked the bishop. The porter's
smoker broadened into a laugh.
@Ain't you done lef the lady, sah?"
he chuckled.
En-" exclaimed the bishop in surprise.
Then his eye fell on the side of his trav
cling bag. which the porter had just
turned round. There glued to it was
wide strip of white satin ribbon, on which
was painted in large letters:
Married this morning"
The facetiously- minded best man had
mistaken the bishops travelling bag for
that of the bridegroom, and a chuckling
black porter worked late into the night
removing that ribbon.-W ashington Post.
''Bickersniff's doctor has ordered him
to cease riding in his horSeless carriage
for awhile"
What's the trouble?"
He used it so constantly that he has
become automobilious" = PHILADELPHIA
North American.
l would not be my lady's glove
Thus lightly to be cast aside
Her bonnet or her gown for love
Like mine would nearer her abide
And yet l would not closer press
So closely that she might demur:
But. oh. I'd be her bathing dress
And cling
and cling
and cling
to her.
Harlem Life
A famous Scottish physician was. I'M
fortunately, given to drink He drew
the line ON the safe side of uproariness
and incapability, but not infrequently he
was SO muddled as to be consciously I'M
fit for his work. One night, when he
had more than a wee dappie in his e'e,
he was sent for by a lady of title He
responded, went to visit her. sat down
gravely by her bedside, looked at her
tongue, felt her pulse, and asked one or
two questions, says the Gentleman's
Magazine. Consciousness of his unfit
ness for work, he momentarily forgot
himself and exclaimed: Drunk. by
Jove.' Recovering, he managed to write
out Il simple prescription and went home
crestfallen that he had SO badly given
himself away. The following day the
physician received a message from his
noble patient, asking him to call. He
responded, though much uneasy in his
mind because of the summons The lady
told him that she had a confession to
make, that he had rightly diagnosed her
condition, and that unfortunately of late
she had given way to liquor, and that
she implored the physician to keep the
matter profoundly secret. He listened
pend upon me, madam, be said at
length: Il shall be as silent as the
grave"
Tommy's Mother-"Why is it, Tommy,
that you are always fighting with Willie
Simpkins? | never heard Of you quar-
reling with any of the other boys in the
one [ kin lick. indianapolis State Jour
nal.
Rayard Taylor related the followin.
about 4 parrot once owned by a lady III
Chicago: when the great fire was rag
ing, ali owner saw that she could res
cue nothing except what she instantly
took in her hands. There were two OBJ
jects equally dear, the parrot and the old
family Bible, and she couldn't take but
one. After a moment Of hesitation she
seized the Bible, and was Fastening away
when the parrot cried out in q loud
and solemn voice, Good Lord, deliver
deaf to such an appeal; the precious BIZ
bic was sacrificed and the bird saved.
He was otherwise a clever bird. In the
home to which he was taken there were
among other visitors a gentleman rather
noted for volubility When the parrot
first heard him it listened in silence for
some time, then to the amazement of all
present, it said very emphatically. You
talk too much!' The gentleman, at first
embarrassed presently resumed his inter-
rupted discourse. Thereupon the parrot
laid his head upon one side, gave an in
II m-m.' and added, There he goes
again.
\ Conan DOYLE says that for absent
mindedness he holds the worlds cham
picnship. but we doubt if he could win
out against the Colorado woman who put
her baby in the oven to roast, and sang a
lullaby III an enaeavor to soothe TO sleep
the stuffed turkey she rocked in the era
dle.-Denyer Post.
Col. Cody helped to build a church at
North Platte and was persuaded by his
wife and daughter to accompany them
to the opening. The minister gave out
the hymn. whicG. commenced with the
words "Oh. for Il thousand tongues to
sing etc. The organist, who played by