Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, Ramsey Co., Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1905, 1899-10-06
BURo Wv
WASHINGTON. D. G.

Tu the Editur: @
The correspondence wv the Buro IL in
creasin so fast I hev bin obliged -tu in
trodooce sum moo help in the shape Nv a
nineteen-yeer-old typewriter tn assist me
in anserin and otherwise disposin Nv it.
The moo masheen works we'll, except at
meal time, and she don't need none Nv
mi precious %applejack tn keep her goin.
In this she differs frum sum Nv our
STATESMEN hoo drop in tn leave their ad-
vice and swop it fer the patriotic jooce
Nv Moo Gersey ez' found in samples at
these headquarters.
Our time hez bin mostly occupied since
the Fourth Nv Jooly in filing complaints.
We hev bin gittin letters frum every
quarter consernin the prematoor explo-
shun NV Gov. Hogg, Nv Texas, at the
Fourth Nv Jooly dinner, at Tamman..
Hall, bi wich the boom NV Judge Van
Wyck wuz busted and shipwreckt be-
yond repare. 1t wuz a little peece NV
Texas fireworks that wuz shot off most
unexpectedly and caused a CRATE deel Nv
damage before e%nnybuddy realized whut
he'd happened. For several weeks our
orators frum different parts Nv the koun-
try he'd been preparin tn shelve Mr.. Bry-
an, and he'd bin given instruckshuns tn
give Tammany's favorite an elegant send
Of. Fer the sake Nv appearances I he'd
been invited tn attend the feed ez q friend
Nv Grover Cleveland, altho Mr.. Cleve-
land, hizself, he'd accidentally bin over
looked. I he'd bin invited tn be one NV a
kommittee Nv three hoose dooty it WIZ
tn overhaul the speeches witch wuz goin
tn be made and revise them tn fit the oc-
cashun. We neerly he'd a fte bekause I
insisted IN cuttin out a d~isrespeckful al
looshun tn Mr.. Cleveland, and I wuz also
overruled bekause 1 thot tibet sun men
shun shood be made Nv a man fer whom
six and a half millyun men he'd voted fer
only 2 yeers ago. The other members
Nv the kommittee sed it he'd bin desided
not tn hev Mr.. Bryan allooded tn in emmy
wa ez it wuz Nv the gratest Importance
tibet the kountry shood understand tibet
Tammany he'd but wun choice fer a pres
idenshal candidate in 1900, and tibet man
wuz Augustus Van Wyck; tibet the crate
organizashun was not only fer him, but
enthusiastically unanimous fer him, and
Good not crack beds and stuff ballot
boxes fer emmy luther man. 1t wuz NV
the fust Importance, tina sed, tibet q deep
and larstin impresshun shood be made
ontu the minds Nv the Dimicrats Nv the
kountry outside NV Moo York.
Sum wv the speakers thed a leanin tn
Bryan and kicked sum wen tina found
tibet the kommittee he'd slashed out every
reference tn him; but tina he'd tn submit
or be rooled out wv the jamboree entirely.
Ex-Governor Hogg, wv Texas, hoo he'd bin
sent on ez a substitoot fer sumbuddy hoo
coodn't cum, wuz the only man hooze
speech we didn't overhaul in advance.
Tu tell the trooth the kommittee didn't
think he wuz Nv enuff consequence to
warrant us in askin him whut he wuz
goin tn So. He il a nice old Teller, not
withstanding hiz swineish name, and
drinks good whisky and il liberal with
it. The only fault that kin be, found
with him, frum a Dimicratic standpoint,
il that he boards at the Waldorf-Astoria
hotel wen he goes tn Moo York. No
sound Dimicrat kin patronize SIGH, a