The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-12-01
Mrs. Middlerib'S Letter
Story Of q Wife Who Exasperated
Her Husband ALPHABETICALLY.


Mr.. Middlerib paused with his coffee
cup raised half way to his lips. as bis
wife took the letter from the servant.
She turned it over once or twice,
gazed earnestly at the address, and
said:
81 wonder who it can be from" She
looked at the stamp.
81 can't make out the postmark." Mrs.
Middlerib said. carefully studying that
guide to the authorship of letters. 1T
isn't Perrysville. 1t looks something like
Tonawanda, but / don't know anybody
in Tonawanda. l wonder if it isn't in
tended for York? Cousin Ann Jackson
used to visit in York. Why don't they
make the postmark palmer, | wonder?
l believe it's Indianapolis, after all!
Then it's from Eleanor Mcpherson,
whose husband you met last summer
in Canada. 1t isn't Indianapolis; it's
Lacon. That's where Lilias Marshall
lives. That isn't an l.. either. No; it's
New Philadelphia. Ills. | a make
it out now. Don't you remember? Uncle
Abner Beasix went out there in the
grindstone business. l wonder If any
thing has-oh. pshaw. it's-what is it?
It's r: R-o-m-oh. now / see-R-o-m-e.
Rome. Why. it must be from-oh, dear
NE. it isn't Rome. either. can't make
it out at ALL"
And she turned it over and looked
%mournfully at the receiving stamp on
the back.
st was received here at Z o'clock
this morning" she said finally. Now.
where would a letter have to come
from to get here at Z o'clock? If you
knew that. we could tell where it came
FROM"
"Let me look at it," said Mr.. Middle
rib, who was beginning to fdget with
Impotence.
NO" replied the wife, turning back
to the postmark once more. II can see
what it is now. It's Spartansburg, Ky.
Sarah Blanchard went there after she
married. l expect she wants to- 1t
isn't ~Spartansburg, either; it's Gridley.
That's where Cousin jamie Buskirk
lives. Her husband went out there and
bought a grist mill. l wonder If she's
coming on this summer? I hope, If she
does, she won't bring the children. But
it isn't from her, either. I think that it
is Mount Pleasant-oh! it's from Aunt
Harriet Murdoch, and l know they've
all been killed in that dreadful cyclone.
I can't open the letter, my hand trem-
bles so. Do you know the last thing !
said to her when she moved out west?
I said 1t isn't Mount Pleasant, Ell
ther. There are only five letters in 1t.
I can't make anything out of it."
"Perhaps." said Mr.. Middlerib, with
a slight tinge of sarcasm in his infec-
tion-''perhaps we'd better send after
the carrier who brought it. He may
know"
"But it is so tantalizing," complained
Mrs. Middlerib, ito receive a letter and
then not be able to tell who or where it
is from"
Ibid you ever try opening a letter to
ascertain these facts? asked her hus-
band.
The lady looked at him with an ex-
preston of speechless disdain upon her
features and half whispered, IF that
isn't like a man." as though any wom-
an ever looked into a letter until she
had guessed all round her circle of
relatives and friends and clear through
the United States postal guide to decide
whence and from whom it came.
This particular postmark, however,
was too "blind' for the most ingenious
expert to decipher, and at last, with a
deep sigh and a little gesture of despair.
Mrs. Middlerib yielded to the inevita-
BILE and resignedly opened the letter,
pausing once or twice in the act, how
ever to look longingly back at the tan
talizing postmark. i.
AT last" groaned her husband. who
by this time was burning up with curl
osity.
But she laid the envelope down and
looked at 1t a little while before she
turned to the unfolded letter in her
hand.
Her husband by a desperate effort
controlled his rising wrath, and in a
voice hoarse and strained hesought
her to read the letter, as 1t was late,
and he should have been down town
half an hour ago.
She did not answer. She opened the
letter. turned the first page to look for
the end of it, went back to the first
page. settled herself In an easy posi-
ton and said:
'Well. l will declare!' Then she read
on in silence and Mr.. Middlerib ground
his teeth. Presently she said:
Him."
She read three or four more lines
with eager eyes and noiseless lips, and
suddenly exclaimed:
II don't believe it,"
Then she resumed her voiceless Pc
rusal Of the document and a moment
later astonished her husband by look
ing up at him and asking: