davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01

''Please excuse William from school to-
day" wrote the boys mother to the
teacher, "as he sat up late last night
studying his lessons and is too sleepy to
come today. "-Philadelphia North Amer
lean.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01

The gentleman who had rung the bell
several times before the servant let hlm
in was looking surprised and trlhe
apprehensive when Mrs. Blyklns came
into the room.
L Called he said, ''to inquire about
your husbands health. He and belong
to the same organization, and several
of the members desired me to call and
see how he is getting along. We We're
very sorry to hear of his illness"
Its very kind of YOU" she answered.
There was a crash which shook the
chandelier.
She paid no attention to it.
L think it will be only day or two
before he is able to get out and go down
town." she added.
The slamming of doors echoed heavily
through the house.
Has he been dangerously sick!
Not until today"
But [ understand you to say that he
was convalescent."
Il think | may say that he is so. He
wasn't well enough to be dangerous until
this morning. But before noon he had
discharged the trained nurse, quarreled
with the cook, smashed a rocking chair
against which he stubbed his toe and
thrown the canary bird out of the win
dow. Those are always hopeful symp-
toms with him, and | feel fairly justified
in saying that he is convalescent."-
Washington Star.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01

The state debt in Indiana is sol
per capita and the tax valuation $451
per caDita
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01
Lanes Family Medicine

Moves the bowels each day. In order
to be healthy this is necessary Acts
gently on the liver and Kidneys Cures
sick headache. Price, % and Soc
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01

l know that my life was saved by
Piso's Cure for Consumption John A.
Miller, Au Sable, Michigan, April q.
1898
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01

York Commercial Advertiser. He want
ed to be good-noW that he had got his
jag-that was evident. That was why
the conductor treated him as well as he
did the rest of his freight" And as
everybody else swayed, too, his swaying
was not evident-indeed, it may be that
at times it kept him straighter than the
rest of the careful. He was standing i'll
front of a young man dressed III tie of
the brightest, with a Brazilian diamond
twinkling magnificently in it. His hair
was slick, and his mustache was very,
very black. The drunken man felt that
he had not fulfilled his whole duty to So
cety unless he made conversation. lie
looked fiXedly at the young man with the
black mustache-so fXedly that the
young man became a little nervous lie
put his hand to his throat to see if its
decorations were all in place; then ne
curled his mustache. DON'T mumbled
the drunken man earnestly. The young
man started. The drunken man braced
himself as the car swung around the cor
ner at Forty-fourth street, and spoke
again in a louder tone of voice: Don't
dye y'r m'stache wiz shoe polish, fur 1T
will come off on re lips Of re CURL y
lOYe!'
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01

A drunken man swayed from a strap
in the Madison avenue car, tells the New
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01

To Cure u Cold in One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets All
druggists refund the money if it fails to cure.
25c. The genuine has L. 3. Q. on each tablet.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01

An Arkansas teacher recently ordered
one of her pupils TO purchase Il grammar,
and the next day she received the fol
lowing letter from the childs mother:
Il do not desire that Matte shall en-
gage in grammar as | prefer her to en-
gage in more useful studies and can
learn her to speak and write proper
myself. [ have went through two gram
mars and can't say that they did me no
good prefer Matte to engage i'll Ger
man and drowning yokal music on the
piano.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01
Coughing Leads to Consumption.

Kemp's Balsam will stop the cough at
once. Go to your druggist today and set
sample bottle free. Sold in % and 5U-
cent bottles. Go at once; delays are dan
rorOuS.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01

Are you very fond of pets?' asked the
interviewer. Well" replied the sensa-
tional actress. Il like skye-terriers and
alligatOrs and parrots, marmosets and
tiger cubs, but must say l have become
rather tired of husbands. w Washington
Star
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01

ache, headache, nervous tired
feeling, painful menstruation and
leucorrhea.
I took four bottles of Vegetable
Compound, one box of Liver
Pills, and used one package of
Sanative Wash, and am now well.
l thank you again for the good
you have done for me.--ELLA E.
BRENNER, East Rochester, Ohio.
Great numbers of such letters as
the above are constantly being re-
ceived by Mrs. Pinkham from wo-
men who owe theirhealth and hap
piness to her advice and medicine
Mrs. Pinkham's address is
Lynn, Mass. Her advice is Of
fered free to all suffering women
who are puzzled about themselves.
If you have backache don't neg
lectit or try heroically to 'work it
down" you must reach the root of
the trouble, and nothing will do
this SO safely and surely as Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound. Backache is accompanied
by q lot of other aches and weary
from the same source. Remove
become well and strong. Mrs. S.
perience in the following letter:
"DEAR Mrs. PINKEAM Before
ache and my back ached SO that I {
ever used; it has relieved me of
Thanks to Lydia E. Pinlhham.
g 1 would advise any one troubl
cine. l shall also recommend it v
a xk.Sa. SAY NE ~
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01
THANKFUL TO MRS. PINKHAM.

Earnest Words From Women Who Relieved
MI Agans Neglect,
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01

There are four Irishman to every
Englishnan in the United States.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01

To date the United States has issued
GIG, All patents.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01


A wealthy old bachelor who is too
misery to keep servants of any descrip-
ton was indulging in an afternoon nap
''rat-tat' at his street door aroused him
hurried down two flights of stairs as fast
as the decrepitude of age would allow
and threw open the street door, only
to be assailed by the cry: Mullins.
Want any mullins, STRIP
For few moments the irascible ole
gentleman stood staring at his interroga-
tor, positively too overcome with rage to
speak; but on the question being repeat
ed he found his voice.
No, confound your impudence! | don't
want mullins: and just get off my door
step before | kick you off Disturbing
respectable citizens on a Sunday after
noon! Do you hear me? I don't want
any mutfins.'
The purveyor Of Sabbath Injuries. aft
er & last futile attempt to do business
walked sadly away, while the other gaZed
after him, immersed in thought. SUD
denly, when the muffin man had got some
two three hundred yards down the
hilly road, a brilliant inspiration struck
the old gentleman, and, with a frantic
Hi and wave Of the hand he inyit-
ed the man to return.
Then, as the muffin man, perspiring.
but happy in the thought of disposing Of
some of his wares, once more smilincly
stood before him, the old gentleman. tap
ping him solemnly on the chest, uttered
the impressive words, Nor next Sun
day. and triumphantly marched in
doors.-London Weekly Telegraph.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01

Julia Ward Howe was once talking
with dilapidated bachelor, who retained
little but his conceit. 1T is time now.''
he said, pompously, for me to settle
down as a married man, but | want 50
much. [ want youth, health, wealth, of
course, beauty, grace Yes" said
Mrs. Howe, sympathetically you poor
man, you do want them all
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01

When q very youthful child is sum
mOned as a witness in the criminal court
there is usually more or less doubt as to
the little ones ability or competency. 1t
is the invariable practice to question the
child as to its knowledge OF right and
wrong, truth and falsehood, etc. A little
chap of s years was a witness in case
being tried before Judge McMichael re-
Gently. Before giving any testimony he
was examined as to his fitness as Il wit
ness, and, among other things, said he
went to Sunday school and could ''read
little bit" He was asked what was
the book on which he held his hand. and
promptly answered, ''the Bible" Next
he was asked what would become of him
il he told a story or lie after placing his
hand on the good book, and without a
moments hesitation he answered with
great earneStness: Mamma would lick
me. God would punish me and [ Will go
to the bad place" He was accepted as Il
witness.-Philadelphia Record.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01

Contrary Results.-The eccentric man
placed in his favorite newspaper an adj
yertiSement reading:
Wanted, 1000 people, to mind their
own business. l. McCrankee.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01

A young tailor named Berry, lately
succeeded to his fathers business, once
sent in his account to Charles Matthews
somewhat ahead Of time. Whereupon
Matthews, with virtuous rage, wrote him
the following note: You must be a
goose--Berry, to send me your bill-Ber-
~, before it is due-Berry Your ia
Their, the elder-Berry, would have had
more sense. You may look very black
Berry, and feel very blue-Berry, but /
don't care a strawberry, for you and
your bill-Berry."
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01


This curious epitaph is on q tomb
stone in IN Alabama cemetery:
Our Darling Billy Sugar
To the memory of
William King Mcdowell.
Born July 3, 1864.
Died November %, 1870.
Aged yrs mos. x % days.
TO our darling Billy:
In our thoughts we seek thee ever.
IN our dreams thy bright form still we see
Nor can time nor thy absence e'er sever
That fond memory that binds us to thee
Papa.
Mamma.
BiniOn,
Sis,
Lou,
Tottie.
Papa Gentleman
Bless mama s man,
Go Iiah and carry the news
Another soul has gone home
He beats his little drum in harmony with
the
Music of Heaven.
He runs his little trains in the streets
Of
The New Jerusalem.
I'VE must part" he exclaimed, pale
with anger. Il have discovered that you
have been married twelve times before.''
She opened her great blue eyes wonder
ingly
Dear mer' she faltered. 'Now, who
would have picked you out to be super
stitiOus? Well, | declarer'
After all, perhaps, it was better thus
than to have married her and then leave
her because he saw the new moon over
his left shoulder or something Detroit
Journal.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01

In less than two weeks he had received
letters from more than 1000 persons who
just could not crafty his want incin-
natl Enquirer
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01

Customer-'L here The first time
| used this cheap umbrella | bought of
you, the black dye soaked out and
dripped all over me-" Dealer Elm
frient, that was cur new patent self-de-
tective umbrella. If anyone should steal
that, you'd know him by his clothes. =
Tit-Bits.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01

A North Carolina editor makes this
original proposition: I'VE will publish
ten-yerse poem for load of wood; a
three-column story for a load of gro
ceries, and we will cheerfully give space
to obituaries of former subscribers at the
rate Of six laying hens column
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01

The mother superior of 4 convent in
a little Irish town, according to the Lon
don Academy, bought at the local book
sellers volume which, being somewhat
short-sighted she thought was written by
Canon Doyle, and for the edifcation of
the community it was read aloud at meal
times The novices were thrilled at the
freedom with which love-making was al
luded to. well, WE'LL" said the mother
superior, 1.-The dear canon is preparing us
for miracle of grace. The frivolous
f1irt, by the mercy of Heaven, no doubt
ends by taking the veil Presently, how
ever, some one looked at the title-page,
and discovered that the word Conan
and not Canon stood printed there.
Well" said the mother superior, the
bookseller is Il pious man. and now that
we have paid for it, we should be waste
full not to read it. The story is good
enough to be true
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-02-01

Geraldine-''No that we are engaged
you must kiss mother" Gerald-"But
will she take it all right?' "Oh, yes; she
always expects it
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-02
NEW DENTAL COLLEGE.
Fredrick A. Tritle. Jr.. Regis

The California College of Dental Surgery open ed it's first Course of Lectures on the 23d of octo ber, with an address delivered by Prof David Starr Jordan, President of the Leland Stanford Jr University. The speaker was introduced by pr s. ". Dennis, Dean of the College. Dr. Jor- dan spoke in part as follows:
 An art differs from trade in this respect: requires that new brains be continually put into it, trade, once learned may be practiced Ru- tomatically and may be perfected by practice. Dentistry is an art. profession. It is q line of business that is progressive. A nan in dentis try continuity learns from his own experience and from the experience of others-if he IS pro- gressiye. The dentist who is successful must be progressive This is a profession of high rank.
 As Dr Dennis organ:zzd and was Dean of the Dental Department of the University of Califor- nia for several years, it would appear that his experience would qualify him, eminently. fer the new school as well as the position he oCcu- pics as Dean or Chief Executive 01cer.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-02
The Governor has given respite oI thirty-flve days to Eugenio Mata who was sentenced to hang the lst inst.
Yours for Fine Presents,
 Santa Claus.

The Governor has given a respite oI thirty-flve days to Eugenio Mata who was sentenced 10 hang the lst inst.
 A western paper has heading that eads: What Women are Doing. We've been observing for some time that they have been doing their own work, lot of the men work and still have time for afternoon calls and bargain sales.
 And now comes the report from Chi. eago that spanking is good appetizer. It g not the lack of appetite that both CTS some of us down this way-it s the getting something cheering and satis- flying to the appetite.
 4. B. M'Gagey. lately of Holbrook, has gone to Albuqurque to engage in business.
 Capt. Hoguc is out of town attending to business in hIs offic.ai capacity and will be gone several days.
 Jamss Owens of American Valley vis- ited town and attended to business on last "Wednesday and Thursday.
 The teachers Institute meets in the school building on the hill, St. Johns, next Wednesday morning. Come. ev~ cry one a3d enjoy the occasion.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-02

WANTED-We will pay s12,0O a week salary to- either q man or woman to represent the Midland Monthly Magazine as a subscrip- ton solicitor, The MIDLAND is the same size as McClures or the Cos. mopoIitan. It IS now in it's sixth year and is the only Magazine ol this kind published in the great Central West. A handsome pre-, mium given to each subscriber Send 10 cents for Q copy of the Midland and premium list to the TWENTIETH CENTURY, PUBLISHING Co.,, St, Lonis, Mo.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-02


 If St Johns does lose the attractions of the travelling circuses, she doesn't have any citizens lsmenting over short change and picked pockets after the show has left town. The circus that went through some Arizona townslate' ly, left behind it more than one who hurled imprecations at the fellows oi the circus, who piled nimble fingers. This same circus advertised as "the fashion plate show of the world"
 We of St. Johns don't take the fash ion plates regularly and may not be up with the procession. But you may see LIS always getting our right change back where we buy eur red flicker.
 As cure for rheumatism Chamber. Iain's Pain Balm is gaining wide rep utation. D. $. Johnston of fRichmond Ind. has been troubled with an ailment since 1862. In speaking oft he says: "I never found anything that would re- lieve me until 1 used Chamberlain's Pain Balm. It acts like magic with me. My foot was swollen and paining me very much, but one good application Of Pain Balm relieved me-" For sale by St. Johns Drug Go.
 The carslessness fa woodhauler was responsible for an accident that might have been serious. At the home of c. N. Cotton cartridge was carried in with the wood and put into the fire. While at work Tn the kitchen Mrs. Cot ton heard the report as of gun and in- vestigation showed that cartridge had been discharged in the fire, the bullet lodging in the double doors of the room.
 ALBUQ. DEM.
 The teachers Institute of Navajo co. had & very interesting session st Hol- brook this week.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-02
Local News of the Week.

Supt. W. o. Howe of the Wabash Cattle Co.,, was in town Friday.
 Joseph Karnes, one of the stancl young cattlemen of our country, wai in from the ranch Thursday.
 L.C. Leonard of Chicago was in towr this week and sold the Drug Go. bil of celebrated shoes.
 Jdst think of itl Some people are making combs, oil cloths and paper collars of skim milk. In little while the milk we use in our coffee will have to be ALL water.
 Ex-Probate Judge L. R. Gibbons ot Concho, and MT. and Mrs Frank Nicol of SbringerVille, attended the Davis. Gibbons wedding last Thursday.
 L. John NEttell of Salt Lake City is expected here today, to attend to bus. mess connected with the church of the Latter Day Saints.
 Itis reported on good authority that Apostle A ,O. Woodruff of SaltLake City will visit St. Johns soon.
 Conferences of the Y. NJ. NJ. IA. and Sunday School will be held here Jan. 18th 1900. J. Golden Kimball and k. c. Measer will be in attendance.
 The meat market will hereafter be found in theTear of the drug store, at which place you can buy fine juicy steak any hour in the day.
 My son has been troubled for years with chronic diarrhea. Sometime ago persuaded him to take some of Cham. beriain's Collie, Cholera Diarrea Rem. edy. After using two bottles of the 25- cent size he was cured. give this tes- timonial, hoping some one similarly af- 1icted may read it and be benefted.- THOMAS c. BOWER, Glencoe, o.
 For sale by the St. Johns Drug Co.
 MT. Fred. l.. Davis and Miss Rhoda Gibbons were united in marriage last huIsday at the residence of the brides parents in St. Johns. The bride was tastily attired in white silk, and wore a beautifnlgarlaud of orange blossoms. She looked like c queen. The groom, who is one of Arlzona's stalwart soldier boys, wore the conventional style. The Herald joins the happy couples hosts of friends in wishing them long life and happiness.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-02
Henry Mills, foreman Of the Long H outfit, was in town Thursday.

Henry Mills, foreman Of the Long H outfit, was in town Thursday.
 Elder A. A. Gibbons has just return d from two years missionary trip to England. He relates many interest ing incidents. and has good opinion of the English people.
 In Chester County. Pa., there was sold the other day what is known as the Warwick Farm, of 5l5 acres. On this farm the Warwick furnace was located, and put into blast In l730. It was the first, probably, to make Iron in the U. $. Here many of the cannon used by the patriot army, were cast.
 Look to the east and observe the diff ference in the modus operandi of goV- ernment in Guam and Sulu.
 The Herald editor and manager were much pleased on receiving an invitation to take Thanksgiving dinner at the hospItabie home of our genial county treasurer, Benj. Schuster, and his esti- mable lady. It is unnecessary to say that ample justice was done the elegant dinner which Mrs. Schuster well knows how to prepare. pr. Johnson our pop ular resident physician, carved the big fat, tender goose-and ate considerable le of it. too, like the Herald fellows ate-- and each of us enjoyed to the utmost the four courses served.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-02
4 Sure Cure For Group.
Twenty-Five Years Constant Us

Twenty-Five Years Constant Use
 without Failure.
 The first indication of c-oup is hoarse. ness, and ia child subj ect to that dis ease it may be taken as sure sign of the approach of an attack. Following this hosrseness is peculiar rough cough. If HChamberlaIn's Cough Remedy is glv- en as soon as the child becomes hoarse, or even after the croupy cough appears, It will prevent the attack. It is used in many thousands of homes in this broad land and never disappoints the anxious mothers. We have yet to learn Of a single instance in which it has not proved effectual. No other preparation can show such d record twenty-five years constant use withoat a single failure, For sale by the St. 2chus Drug Co.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-02

Francis Bacon Pianos, established in New York 1789, made by the oldest firm in the United States strictly high grade in every respect, equal to any piano made and at very moderate prices, taking into consideration the quality of these mag nificent instruments. General western office. Howard w. FOote & Co.,, 307-309 Wabash Ave, Chicago. Agents for Ari- zona, St Johns Drug Co.,, St, Johns, A:il F Write for prices catalogue etc.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-02
Territorial News.

C. T. Lewis,a prominent business man or Ash Fork. and Mrs. Lizzie Fay Tor, a highly esteemed lady of Williams were married at Flagstaff l4Ih inst.
 Old Ft. Whipple is soon to be regar- risoned.
 Bisbee has troubles between COW boys and the gaming fraternity.
 An old Hassayampa was overheard to say yesterday that before the old Bully Bueno mill was burned down it was in charge of watchman. and the watchman left the country with an ar rowhead in hIs stomach, received dur ing fight with Indians at the mill. C'R
 Congress has measles-Congress, 4 :. T. is meant; the U. s. Congress is suf- fering from other ailments.
 The Range News announces the re- cent death of ". W. Morisrity, the well known stockman of Ft. Grant.
 Stafford has building boom. All the sheep have been driven of the forest reserve and are now ranging on the borders of the reservation. The permits to graze in the reserve expired this month and cannot be renewed un- til May next. The majority ofthe sheep owners will winter their focks in the Salt River valley. -Flagstaff Sun.
 The Argus says that H. L. Rhodes is station agent, A. o. Hackaday opera tor, Geo. l.. Andrews night operator. and Harry Carty clerk, at Holbrook.
 On the 18th inst. the benedicts of Guaymas gave g grand ball to the fair sex of that city. Itwas largely attend ed from all parts ot the state. OASIS
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-02
HUDYAk REMEDY COMPANY, No. S16 South Broadway,
 Los Angeles, Cal.

SEVERAL BRIGHT AND HonEsT
 w persons to represent us as Mana agers in this and close by counties. Sal ary 1900 year and expenses. Straight, bona-fide. no more, no less salary. Posi- ton permanent. Our references, any bank in any town. It is mainly office work conducted at home. Reference. Enclose self-addressed stamped envel- ope. THE DOMINION Company, Dept, 8 Chicago.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-02

The Americanpoets are st work on the Philippines and the British poets at work on the Boers: but the world still moves if the human part Of the ma chinery does slip cog or two at times.
 KlnliD was enraged. His friend Isaac had taken KinIin's best girl from him In frenzied tones Kinlin expostulating, said: "Isaac, If you re the fellow who was about to be sacrificed, l wish the good Lord bad n't interfered with the proceedings"
 Gumwad, whose father had been hung: Teacher, what's the meahing of evap- orated ?"
 Teacher, guessing at the meaning: "It means went up, ascended. Now a sentence in which you use the wogde" Gumwad: "Dad evaporated last week. ''