Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1899-02-09
ND MUST FOLLOW NIGHT THE DAY, THOU CANsT N



color of pure Peruvian guano, his
eyes are cut bias and fringed with a
thick growth of saffron hued lashes,
and when Cooper smiles it extends
from ear to ear, and you have n
panorama CT mouth and good hun.or.
always hunt up Mr.. Cooper when
in Columbia, for l leave him satisfied
that have been blessed with more
than my share of good looks.
Then comes Colonel Floyd, Adju-
tant and Inspector General. Colonel
Floyd, l think, labors under the bliss
full halluoination that he is hand
some man; but never was mortal
more sadly mistaken. In fact, that
critical public might not judge the
colonel too harshly, / recommended
to him as armorer Dave Alley, and
beside whom an alligator would
show to advantage. Colonel Floyd
always reminds me of bald-headed
owl, and the peculiar way he has of
roosting on the lower round of his
chair as if he was fixing to push some
chicken off the roost. The Colonel
was a gallant soldier and lost an arm
in battle. The Yankees evidently
took Floyd for an owl and tried to
wing him. / do ask my friend Floyd
to some time take good, square,
honest look in tho glass, and perhaps
his mind will undergo n change in
regard to his personal appearance.
And then comes State Treasurer
Zimmerman. l have always given
the doctor my ardent support when
he was candidate for office, for two
good and sufficient reasons. 1st, /
know him to be a capable and honest
man, and would fill any position
With credit to himself and honor to
the State; and I'd, when l find a
man aspiring for Office 80 much
uglier than myself, I always feel
duty bound to vote for him, for.
never want to see tho issue of looks
brought into politics. DR.. Thinner
mans face is shaped after the dia-
gram of claw hammer; so much
80 that you could draw a ten
penny nail with his countcnance. If
the doctor ever runs for Office on his
looks he wouldn't get outside of his
yard gate.
l have seen homoly men, of every
degree and shade of ugliness, but
our State Treasurer blends them all.
When it comes to downright ugli-
ness, tho doctor is q gem of the
purest water. lie is the right man,
too, in tho right place, for no burg
lar would dare invade our State
Treasurer's office, unless he was blind
folded. In fact, the doctor is not
only an able treasurer, but a regular
,ime-lock on the cash drawer, for it
would take an old and desperate
villain to invade his Office with DR..
Zimmerman bohind tho desk.
Attorney General Bollinger is our
best-looking State oflicer,but his beard
and head remind us of q chestnut
burr. But in selecting his assistant,
our friend, U. x. Gunter, Mr.. Bel
lingor had evidently in view the idea
of keeping his department on a par
of homeliness with tho other State
officers. Gunter always looks to us as
if he needed dose of doadshot or
vermifuge, and was afflicted with a
cronic case of collie. BuG what
Gnnter lacks in looks ho makes up in
ability and cleverness, and these re-
deeming traits cover q multitude of
ungainliness.
Comptroller Dorham will pass mus
ter, but you can fire into crowd
any circus day and kill a half dozen
or more better-looking men. But
surrounded as he is by such an array
of high grade ugliness, Mr.. Derham
shows to much better advantage than
a casual observer would think who
met him on the street. Mr.. McMa-
han labors under the samo advantage
Lieutenant Governor McSweeney
is another two-legged flower that was
not born to blush unseen. Doop
down in his heart McSwoency be-
lev" himself to be handsome man
but mover did mortal labor under o
more delusive mistake. lie is moro
on the clay-root order of beauty,
with an old red freezled rooster
growing on top of it. 1t is worth a
trip to Columbia TO see our Licuton-
ant Governors mustachc, and the
artistic way in which he parts his
hair. That mnstache reminds one OF
a patch of over-ripe wheat left
around an old stump in tho field.
Down in Hampton county they must
uso mud-puddles for looking glasses,