davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Warren sheaf., 1899-10-19
GUNsAULUs' ANCIENT HORSE.
IN Equilrnez Purchase of the chicago
DIyinein His Youth Which Dis
gusted His Father.

Once upon a time Rev Frank Gunsaulus,
the popular preacher, was poor circuit
rider He travelled from town to town, lift
ed over the roads in farm wagons and board
ed round at the houses Of the deacons, and
returning occasionally to his fathers old
farm to spend a few days. His father, SO
the story goes, was = rough old chap Of the
uncut diamond sort, with vocabulary
more expressive than elegant.
Well, at one time young Gunsaulus found
himself in possession Of enough money to
buy horse. He thought it would be better
to ride his own animal around the circuit
than to borrow transportation It was a
sorry looking steed this, but it answered
the purpose, and, what was more to the
point, twas cheap. So after he. .hadsbought
1t he rode 1t home. His father was in the
barnyard when he came in and he. looked
critically at the animal. 81 s6Es.
Where did We git that hoss, Frank?" he
asked. 5ss
"I bought, him cheap, father" J" said the
young preacher. sT rs
= es q sorry lookin' critter,,I must say 2
well, father" said Frank, & you remem.
Der that our Saviour rode into Jerusalem on
worse looking animal than this
And the old man looked at the hose again
and said:
burned if I don't think it's the same
one. ."-C Chicago Chronicle.
Warren sheaf., 1899-10-19
sPUNGENT PARAGRAPHS

4z5a
Watt hat was the worst storm
you ever encountered q u. Peck
think it blew at the rate Of about 300
words a minute Indianapolis Jour-
nal. .ss:.s fsSsss sssgs
Bill Bob opened one of his syiiffe..s
letters Jill 20 Does she feel hurt
about it ~ Does she? No; but he
does. You ought to see his headd i -:
Yonkers Statesman. H. @ 81
Parker 6 A man doesn't have tosselie
in battle to- save his sconin ollins;
NO; that's true. Some could serve
it just as well by dying quiet and
peacefully at Home y Yown.T opics
8 sqnire's Daugh ter Good morning,
Marjorie. Hoy are the twins and what
names are You going to give them ?'' %
Marie jorie- mi s. viewed ecided to
call one Kate and tth' other Duplis
kate. I Z lunch. 8sss .s ss
The Motive Power -ssy hal makes the
autocar go, papa asked the boy AT "a t
present" replied the capitalistic par
entt, it is the good, stiff capitals that is
being poured into the concerns Phil
adelp lphia N orth, Anner
@ Mrs. Beenwed- could never under
stand how Mrs. Spadeface managed to
marry such a hand dsome man. Mr..
Beenwed- s. should think you would
besable to figure it out from your own
experience. y Co olnmbus (O.) Journal.
Prison Visitor I. remember, my man,
always try to do right" :" Convict 4-11-44
fevr1V ,s - - Y =.
Warren sheaf., 1899-10-19
SILVER PLATE IN STOMACH.
The Result OF Shell Wound Re.
ceived by New French NItn-s
lister of War.

Gen. De Gallifet, the new French
minister of war, who has excited uni
versal admirationsSby his repression of
unruly army officers, is sremarkable for
wearing a silver platesover his stomach
in place of the tissue with which nature
supplied him. 80
The general was terribly wounded at
the siege of the. Convent Of Guad deloupe
during the French expedition to Mex
leo, in 1868. "a shell carried away a
large portion of his stomach.
He explains that his experience as a
sportsman then stood him in good
stead. s4ss s#4 81 S.
He had often noticed how when a
hound was gored at boar hunt he was
not sacrificed or shot, but his intestines
were replaced and the skin stitched up.
When. therefore, he recovered con-
sciousness he himself describes how he
collected all he could and made his own
way by himself to- the ambulance as
rapidly as his shatterd trunk would
allow him to do. His wound was the
object universal sympathy; his com
rades fetched snow from the noun
tains so as to keep him at the proper
temperature; the empress herself or
dered him to recover, and he then main
tanned he could not, asa man Of gall
lantry, refuse to obey the orders Of
such a lady. He had to replace what
had been lost by a silver substitute.
Many other stories are told of his
daring; how to win a wager he jumped
into the Rhone on horseback. So vel,
did he establish his reputa ton that Ma
poleon III. at once said sDourot repre-
sents virtue, but Gallifet represents
bravery. Isbelieve that he, like Bay
ard could easily defend a bridge by
himself against all comers." y.
Herald.
Warren sheaf., 1899-10-19
THE YANKEE IN GERMANY.
He Il Regarded by the Germans in
Anything But an Envi-
able Light. asss8

How does the Yankee look in the
Imagination of my countrymen? In the
German language only three things are
usually connected with the adjective
American; the Germans speak Of Amer
lean stoves, and mean q kind of stove
which ] have never seen in this country;
secondly, they speakof American duels,
and mean a crazy type Of duel which
was certainly never fought on this con-
tinent; and third they speak Of Amer
lean humbug, and mean by it that kind
of humbug which fl shourishes in Berlin
just as in Chicago. Bet the American
man is of course very well known. He
is ahaggard creature, with vulgar tastes
and brutal manners, who drinks whisky
and chews tobacco, spits, fights, puts
his feet on the table, and habitually
rushes along in wild haste, absorbed BY
a greedy desire for the dollars Of his
neighbors. He does not care for educa-
ton or art, for the public well fare OF for
justice, except SO far as they mean mon
sey to him. Corrupt from top sto toe, he
buys legislation and courts and gov
ernment, and when he swants fun he
lynches negroes on Ma adisons Square, ii
New York, or is the Boston public gar
den. He has his family home USUALLY Il IL
sky-scraper Of % stories; his business
is founded on misleading advertise
1ments; his newspapers are filled with
accounts Of murd ders, and his. churches
with pocrites. Prof. Hugo Munster
Warren sheaf., 1899-10-19
sSButAhast done thy best ?,,:

|7
Ny best t?' he laughed; o the misery
Of that laugh. {. lass;I have done
my best. Whatever put my hand to
fell to pieces; whatever I undertook
failed. sI went up and down through
the states to the gold field wherever
money was to be made or won. Other
men made fortunes, but Phoebe, I
did. my best; but to starye and struggle
is not enough, and that's about all I am
good for. If one day seemed to gain a
step in the race for wealth, I lost it the
next. ] went under in the crowd. ] am
a failure. " s4 - -
''But thou hast come back ?'' His
sensitive pride was quick TO hear re-
-proach where perhaps none was in
tended. se s3as #s y
But not to be asburden on thee, lass, .
he said, Slipping back unconsciously
into the old familiar form of speech.
81 hayescome back res, for thought,
maybe, lowed it to thee to own myself
beaten butt shall not stay-long.
amIa Ibrok enc man; broken, body and
mind; n IN ; and have good hope now that
soon, very soon sf ST ~ a
What, Ralph ?''
My wife Will be my widow, and a
free woman - ~ NJ
''And you think / shall be glad!' she
said, in adult, toneless voice, most .un-
like her own. s5s ss s2 I II
Think? I know it; and i do not
blame thee forit. I blame none but my.
self. was no fit mate for thee. I should
have seen that thou hadst all naught
Thy father did thee an i'll turn, Phoebe
the day he married my mother, and
brought such a beggarly brat home to
be a brother to thee
The passion had died out Of his hag.
gard face long since, andsnothing but
the hopelessness remained. a strange
apathy was creeping over him. After
all, was it worth while chafng against
fate? He had done his best, as he said
Warren sheaf., 1899-10-19
Hat WAS NOT SUCCESSFUL
The Owner Tried to conomi.e, Bu,
Her Efforts Met with Fear
II ful Results, s7 50

- sT,h; 3 r, J. aG,,l. 80 &, \. -
lady who trImmsd hsr story Ct
,a endeayorin1 mde t ner own nat She
;nr ieay5h 5ha sg ea tnat
~ tme hat anu lhe frame she could
nas InaI would pc quite as hide
2Ius l!l. as ane orulnary Or extraordinary mil
alnery dleasl9n e ana at much less cost; So
and and naIly e had aafbared 5rlps
aa1,a,e pss 9. buck gauze,
herhad ,;ra us nper cnamols bolts, rlvets,
Warren sheaf., 1899-10-19
TOO LATE FOR LOVE, THE FAILURE
-. WAS DEAD.

and this was the miserable result. Old
memories crowded upon his mind, and
the present faded and grew indistinct,
losing itself in the past. The comely
woman before him was child again,
and he, her proud stepbrother, her
chosen playfellow. They met on more
equal terms then, in the happy uncon-
sciousness of childhood.
.'Thy mother has been good mother
to me" The woman's voice recalled
him, and he raised his head to listen.
: Twas my father came between u.s.
NAY, nay; twas he threw us to-
gether. Thou Wouldst never have
thought to marry me but for him. He
warned thee to have naught to do with
such a ne'er-do-well, and that set thee
to spite him.
'.t.Ah! 2
Thy own words, lass! ~ wearily 81
have not forgotten them if thou hast.
Twas just after the old mans death.
and we not a month welded. Ay, ay;
to spite him, not for love Of me. Lord! |!
what is there-what was there ever
in me that such woman as thou art
should care? ] was fool for my pains,
but-the manner Of telling me so might
have been kinder, Phoebe 1t might
have been kinder
The tired voice sank to silence. He
was too utterly weary to say more.
Ralph, lad-O, I deserve it all! Thou
dost right to blame MEL
Blame thee!' he looked at her in a
bewildered sort of way. ST did not
think to blame thee. Twas all mis-
take, but a mistake there was no going
back upon. I pay for it-now. / have
done my best-for theeit is not vet
too late
He sank back in the chair, and his
eyes closed.
The woman flung herself on her
knees beside him, and took his wasted
hands in her r5stronggwarm clasp.
%, lad, forgive me. have been a
beast to thee, butt loved thee. i loved
thee through all. It angered me that
thou vast poor, that folk shoula think
%, lad, speak to me. Say I forgive
thee 49, 49,. q 4:
But she pleaded in vain. In the deep
silence the rain pattered against the
window, ceaselessly, monotonously, vet
with strange insistence. There was
no other answer. &
s She clungg closer to him, a dawning
terror in her great gray eyes.
Ralph, lad, love thee, !. she cried.
"Dost not hear? love thee. I,have
longed for thee an hese.wearY years to
tell thee, to show thee g q 3
Another sound broke in on the pat
tering4 of the rain The sound Of patter-
ing feet along the passage, and then -
IA child happy laughter!
Hist, Ralph!" /" and she sprang to her
feet. sDost hear Thou wilt hear him
our SON little boy whom I have
so longed to show to his father! o.,
thou wilt forgive me now and love me,
and Rail- ph!S Ralph! Z
She threw herself on the ground be
side him and broke into passionate
weeping
Yes, She had been pleading to deaf
ears.
1t was too late for love or for remorse
to avail her any thing here. Ralph
Wrough hton, the failure, was dead.
And without laughing child tried
3vainly to raise the latch West End.
Warren sheaf., 1899-10-19
some Other Plan Necessary

ISz.. sU1ne- Otnef F1nM Netessafy.
Ihe trusts" exclaimed the excited in
dividnal, who, SO to speak, was at the ora
torical bat, must be frozen out!"
The trust microbe in the audience slapped
laughed derisively..
HE isn't up with the latest discoveries in
science, it said. He doesn't know that we
can stand 2 temperature of 3l2 degrees be-
low zero! Chicago Tribune
Warren sheaf., 1899-10-19
The Place Tor IL.

. seWell, gentlemen" remarked the presi-
dent of the club, motions are in order. It
has been suggested that we have banquet.
What shall be done?"
Mr.; President, I, spoke up the man who
Of it by laying it on. the table. =
The motion was carried. ed.-Philadelph
North American. s If.
Warren sheaf., 1899-10-19
Inapnron,r.iate.,.

It was, ministers club meeting, and the
cloth was exchanging experiences.
AT funeral recently" said one Of the
clergymen, I narrowly escaped Laughing
perpetrated. Why is i, z, i asked in the
course Of my moral applying eloquence, why
is it that there should be peculiar appro.
priateness to-day in the gathering, about
this bier of friends and relatives whose
paused there significantly to- let. nv
words sink in, when suddenly, with a choke
producing flash, it crossed my mind that the
deadsman had been milkman in the com.
munity for 25 years. = Brooklyn Eagle.
Warren sheaf., 1899-10-19
Woman and the Automobile.

It has long been scientifically demon.
strated that woman cannot throw a stone
straight; It now appears that she steers an
automobile the way she throws stone.
There are awful possibilities in the near
future. A wabbly bike can be lodged by
an athletic. sprinter, but wabbly automo-
bile has a horror all its own,-N..Y Y. Press.
Warren sheaf., 1899-10-19
The Three Tellers

stCan you tell me- asked the summer
man, What are the three quickest modes
Of communication" ?"
Isl Well, no, replied the summer girl.
seHa! Ha! Telephone, telegraph and
.tell.a-woman,o and now he wonders why she
returned his ring in the middle Of the sea
son.-Philadelphi Call.
Warren sheaf., 1899-10-19
Po1itici.n,s point OF view, L

. First Little Girl-My pa says business is
going to boom right along now. & s., ~
5:s Second Little Girl-My pa says business is
going sto.b be awful dull. 80 =
u guess my pa knows, for he's polytikan,
an, he'sjus got anommynation! !. : . B
.;,.s guess my pa knows best. for he'sa poly
tikan, too, ,an' he's Just lost a nommyna-
ton! altimore Times. NJ s717Sss7- -
Warren sheaf., 1899-10-19

Something. for a Golfer to Learn.
The Golfer You must acknowledge that
It requires q. great deal Of skill to drive q
ball 100 yards.
The Farmer Nothing like the skill re-
CURED to drive pig SO feet. Stray
Stories Is - 3ssSs
Warren sheaf., 1899-10-19
Not Wasted.

Johnny, did you take your cough medicine
regularly in school, as It told you ?''
No m; Tommy Budds liked It, an he
gimme an apple for it. = Stray Stories.
Warren sheaf., 1899-10-19

He Hadn't Seen It.-Ro ollingstone Have
you ever seen the seashore 8? Dro oll-..llo 0;
vested down there, though; NY wife goes
every summer. Ohio State journal. s,
Warren sheaf., 1899-10-19

H time is money some people, time must
be counterfeit Chicago Daily News.
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-12-03

likes to make, especially if he has a
clear track
Quicker than it can be told, Conductor
Harpster dropped his lantern upon the
caboose platform and reached forward
for the iron brake rod on the car ahead
Selling that with one hand and grasp
ing with other one of the ladder steps
on the end of the car, he hung on like
grim death. The first jerk that had
broken the coupling had given the ca
boose a little forward motion, so that
he did not have to overcome entirely
the Inertia of his caboose. Had he been
compelled to start the car from a stand
still, his arms would have probably
been unequal to the strain, but, as it
was, he noted with satisfaction that
the caboose moved on with the train
and he frightened his hold and settled
down for long pull into the Helena
yards.
From the Montana Central crossing
to the Helena yards is not a long dis
lance by the map-it measures some
thing less than two miles-but it was
long way that night. The grade had
never seemed SO steep nor the wav so
long as they did to the conductor a. he
held firmly to his grasp upon the box
car ahead. His brakemen were both
beyond call. They had been on top of
the train for some time. The engineer
leaned out of the cab window, watching
the switchlghts in the Helena yards as
they twinkled in the distance. The fire
man threw in more coal for the last pull
and the engineer set the throttle back
another notch as the train gained head
way. On the top of a car little ahead
of the caboose, the rear brakeman
danced double shuttle as he saw the
end of the run in sight.
Meanwhile Conductor Harpster was
holding the caboose to the train. The
strain was an awful one, but he still
hung on. Around the base of Mount
Helena the train slowly crawled. To
the engineer in front it seemed as if the
train was making good time, but to the
human coupling that linked the caboose
to the last of the go box cars. it seemed
as If snail could make better prog
ress. With his feet braced on the plat
form and his body bent forward with
the strain, he wondered if he could hold
on. Past East Helena and the palatial
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-12-03
~ About The War.

"My father says the Bores Is goin
t get licked said George.
'sAw!" said Jimmy what a. YOU
talkin' about? You think them Brdish
kin lick everybody? They amt so
many. T bet you the Bores'n lick
them; all the Bores is hunters. an they
kin kill lion every crack Tom says
So"
Jaw, go on. They're on'y oil Dutch
mans, like Hans with big wood shoes
an pipe. l guess I know. An they
went down t. Afriker am called their
selves Bores. Teacher says So
well, they kin lick the Bridish. If
they is Dutchmans. You think cause
the Bridish got more r1.cn Huh, The
Bridish is tyrants, like George Wash
ington said. An Gods goin' t. help
the Bores, too; Tom read it in the pa
per. Marrow. You see if the Bridish'll
lick
"Huh!' said George, hunting around
for an answer. Il guess the Brldish
amt afraid O. God"
WELL said Jimmy, his eyes flash
ing, Il guess God amt afraid O. the
Bridish."
George didn't know what answer to
give to this, and he dug a hole in the
sand with his heel. Il bet you Gcd
won't help the Bores," he said at last.
He will, too" said Jimmy.
We'll, how d you know? The Bores
amt no children of Israel an my
teacher says God on'y helped them
The children of Israel is Isaacs, an
they don't look like Dutchmans. Look
at OF Goldstein; he don't look like no
Dutchman."
Them darn Bridish!" reflected Jim
my. They're on'y gol darn rubber
necks, always rubberin' at the Bores"
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-12-03

residence of Billy Muth on the side of
Mount Helena, the train slowly moved.
Through the darkness the lights twink
eled from the villas built by prospect
i've millionaires in the days when the
fond hope was cherished that Helena
would become a city, but Conductor
Harpster needed them not Leaning
over the handrail of the caboose, he
kept his eyes upon the air brake hose
that connected his caboose with the
train, and wondered if he could keep
the car close enough to the train to
prevent the hose from parting. Every
time a rough place was struck in the
track he cursed the roadmaster as
pains shot through his back and should
ers. 1t seemed as if every jolt would be
the end of his service as a coupler.
Jolts that would ordinarily have SEEM
ed insignificant were magnified by the
tension upon the muscles of Conductor
Harpster's arms and back. The rail
joints sent shooting pains up and down
his spine. He was wondering if Helena
would never be reached when the pro-
longed whistle of the locomotive for the
yard crew, brought him the glad tidings
that the end was near. The grade less
ened and the strain was easier but the
wearied muscles did not appreciate this
fact and the pain of the last few min
utes of the run was intense. But Con-
ductor Harpster hung on. This was a
greater contest than any of the much
Wanted tugs-of-war in which he had
participated in the days of his athletic
activity. There was no applauding au-
dience, no cheering crowd to urge him
to renewed effort-nothing but his own
determination to win sustained him.
Setting his teeth, he made one final su-
preme effort. Just then he heard the
clank of the wheels ahead of him as
they passed the first frogs in the Hell
ena yard.
The fireman had climbed upon his seat
and reached for the bell cord. The en-
gineer pulled in the throttle a notch or
two and reached for his air brake lever.
On the top of the cars the brakemen
ceased their dancing and prepared for
the end of the run. The rear brakeman,
making his way back to the caboose,
almost stepped upon his conductor as he
climbed down, His exclamation of sur
prise was lost in the rattle of couplings
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-12-03
The 19inee Novel and
The Knife Thrower

Have you ever been frightened. hor-
ribly frightened, frightened nearly to
death? If you have experienced such a
sensation you will the more appreciate
the ordeal through which I once passed.
1t wasn't so much of an experience,
either for anybody but myself, but to
me it was an occurrence that will ever
remain fresh in my memory.
1t was in the year 1884 or 1885 when
was declared full-fledged telegraph
operator. My first position was that
of night operator at a place called
Madison and Portage switch in Wis
consin, on the Chicago, Milwaukee &
st. Paul railway, about a mile and a
half east of Portage. 1t is the point
where the road branches, one line go
ing to Madison and the other to Mil
waukee. The telegraph office at M. g.
p. switch was little frame building
of one room, in size about 10x10 feet,
with a bit of platform in. front The
shack had door and a window, the
desk being placed near the latter The
country round about the place is a
bleak moor, being the low land lying
There is, or was at that time,
but one habitation within a ra-
dius of a mile or more of the
telegraph office; that was a dairy
farm half mile distant. 1t was GER
tainly one of the most desolate places
imaginable. Gracious, how the wind
used to howl about the corners of that
cabin, and how the wires used to hum
in a dismal, droning way.
well. I was mere slip of a boy,
barely IA years old. when this happened
of which I am about to tell. I had
occupied my npsition as night operator
for about week before that terrible
April night. That week had been one
of torture to me. During the long,
dark nights my lively imagination con-
jured up all sorts of frightful things.
! was in an awful state Of fear from
the time the sun disappeared in the
West until it reappeared in the East.
My capacity for thinking of everything
horrible was added to not a little by
the naDlC OIL TedulllS uli1le noNelS.
felt as though 1 We're the one person
upon whom were fixed the eyes of ev-
cry demon, who awaited only an OPP
portunity to pounce down upon me.
The clatter of a single telegraph instru-
ment made tenfold louder by the
deathlike silence all about. added to
the sense of loneliness which I felt.
On the day previous to the night
upon which I had my frightful expe-
rience there had been a circus at Port
age. Boylike I stayed up to see the
show, parade and all. I went to the
office at 7 o'clock. At 10 o'clock a
heavy rain set in, accompanied by a
fierce wind. The wind howled about
my little office and the rain was driven
in gusts against the walls and window.
The circus trains, on their way to Mad
ison. passed the switch at about /: so
o'clock in the morning. Their passing
was an interesting incident, but when
they We're gone there was nothing to
do but sit there and wait for the slow
hands of the clock to make their cir
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-12-03

as the train came to a standsti1l in the
yard. The conductor loosened his hold
and tried to bend his famed and aching
arms, With a bump the cahoose came
up against the drawhead of the box car
ahead. The train stopped. Down at
the crossing was heard the whistle of
the approaching overland train. The
human coupling had lame shoulders for
a couple of days, but that was all
That is why Conductor Harpster did
not send in a delay report that night,
The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-12-03
The Cost of the Transvaal War,

From Lesle's Weekly.
England's parliament will have to In
crease its appropriation far beyond the
$50, 900, 900 mark. even though the war
is likely to be much shorter than any
body short time ago thought it would
be. The transportation of between 49,
OOO and $4,000 soldiers for a distance of
over 5000 miles and their support for
several months in a region where.
even under the most favorable condi-
tons, the cost of living for soldiers
would be high, will entail an outlay
far beyond the original estimates. The
present debt of the United Kingdom,
deducting the sinking fund, is in the
neighborhood of $1,000, 100000, which IS
greater than that of any other nation
except Russia, which is So, 500 100000.
and France. S45O0, 900 900. 1t is altogeth-
er probable that the war with the
South African republic and the Orange
Free State will run up Britain's debt
at least 5000, 900 beyond its present
line.