The Anaconda standard. [volume] (Anaconda, Mont.) 1889-1970, 1899-04-18

very simple way The calling of the
class in English literature would be
about as follows:
Here, you kids that's goin' to cut in
on this chewin' match better line up
here where ! can get a flash at you.
Say, Mopery, thatn do, now. Just cut
that out. If ! get wise to any more
funny moves like that it'll be me an
you to an open space, an you're likely
to lose a battle. Now, Lefty, you're
first. Who was this guy Shakes
peare?"
He was skate that thought he was
it about 800 years age. He cut loose
with a whole bunch of plays an poems
an one thing another an made an
awful front with EN-
viii he do now?"
mix, he's dead one. Old Cap Col
lier leaves him at the post on an even
break"
Good. Here, you, there, redhead.
What was the Lake school of poets?"
"Ah. they was gang Of long-haired
dubs that had nothin' to do but write
them street car ads about nickel
cigars"
"Give an example Of some of their
rough work."
Twas gittin' dark the other night.
An not single bull in sight,
When through the town there drilled a
guy
Who held a banner up on high,
Logan square.
Good You're all right. You're the
real goods. Now, you can put me wise
to the guy that writes the best Eng
lish that's Twin to-day? Who is it,
Muggsy?"
Buffalo Bill"
"That's the stuff. Up an alley, now,
you kids. I want to hear these other
Indians recite their geography"
The manifold beauties of the new sys-
tenn of intoxicating a knowledge of En-
glish literature will not shine, however,
until Friday afternoon or the last day
of school when it is time for declama-
lions. OF course the embryo orators
will be put through the usual course
of sprouts with "Webster's Reply to
Hayne" and 1.-THE Impeachment of
Warren Hastings" and THE Imagined
Speech of John Quincy Adams" But
all these gems of English rhetoric will
have to go beneath the pruning knife
Of the Hall system first and when the
great day comes and the parents of the
pupils are assembled in the audience
room to observe the giant strides their
progeny have made in mastering their
mother tongue. Then the tall youth
with his first pair of long trousers will
get up to recite "Anthony's Grafton
over Caesar" and after falling over
his own feet a couple of times he will
reach the platform and electrify his
parents with the following:
"Fellows: Stake me to your listeners,
I come to plant Caesar, not to boost
Any rough work guy does is likely to
stick,
But smooth job is planted with him.
That's how Well fix his dead nobs.
This swell guy Brutus has cracked
That Caesar was stuck to run the game.
If that's on the square he had his trim
Minis comm
An he sure got 'em.
Here, if Brutus and the other skates
Will give me a show, for Brutus Is on
the square,
I come to spiel at Caesars funeral.
He was my pal an he was on the dead
with me,
But Brutus says he wanted to be
mayor
An Brutus is good fellow.
He brought in many a bunch of pris-
onerS ""
An the town got the bailbond money.
Does this look as if he was graftin'?
When some poor skate cut loose an
leaked,
Caesar was there with the leaky lamps
A gratef oueh to be a rougher worker.
But Brutus says he was out for the
stuff,
And Brutus is my pal at that.
All you guys was wise that over at
the convention
We wanted to nominate him for alder
man
An three times he backed away.
Was this like a CRATER?
l amt maxim no crack about what
Brutus said,
But I'm putin you next to what
know.
All youse guys was stuck on him once.
Why shouldn't you give him show?
You all do know this ben. l remember
The first time the old man put it on.
1t was one hot summers night,
The day he handed the Nervii their
trimmin's.
Look! here's where Cassius slipped his
chiv
Into him. guess that's poor, Ell?
An here my old pal Brutus handed him
one.
That was the toughest deal he got,
For when Caesar was wise that Brutus
did him up
He wrapped the ben around his face
and dropped,
Say. I can't make a spiel
The way some other fellows can,
But if was Brutus and he was Antony
You'd get a bunch of the hot air
That would start something an you'd
see
The stones of Rome get up