davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18
JUST WHY WE LAUGH
LEARNED DEDUCTIONS ON THIS
IMPORTANT SUBJECT.
Originality of Laugh Meant Grow of
Triumph Over the Fallen Foe
Sassges Laugh When They Sec Pain
Indicted.

Why we laugh is question that has
always puzzled those who are accus-
toned to think deeply. The laugh,
which is now so closely associated with
good humor and kindly feeling. orig
inally expressed the exact reverse. 1t
was the crow of triumph over fallen
foe. Such is its nature still among
.savages. and its unexpected manifesto
tions are occasionally very startling.
Dancing on the body OF a PROSTATE
enemy is, in fact, to them hilarious
fun.
Any new device for torment is a
clever Jest. The infiicting OF a ghastly
wound as some poor wretch runs the
gantlet makes them yell with glee. The
things that shock or horrify or dis
gust the civilized man are about the
only things worth laughing at from a
.savage's point of view. With the ex-
ception, therefore, of rough practical
jokes, which may possibly wrinkle his
stolid features with a momentary grin,
the barbarian has no appreciation OF
civilized humor Even the knowledge
that he himself is to be the next vic
tim does not spoil the fun Of cruel
spectacle for a barbarian thorough
bred.
Some Siamese who had been engaged
in revolt were captured redhanded
and sentenced to military execution.
A company of soldiers had been drawn
up with loaded muskets, before whom
the doomed men were led out in squads
of five or six to be shot while those
who were waiting their turn stood by,
under guard, looking on. When the
first volley was fired the victims, torn
by the storm OF bullets, leaped into
the air with violent contortions and
fell dead. And this to the poor
wretches whose turn 1t was to next go
through the same experience seemed
SO fine a show and so excruciatingly
funny that they were fairly convulsed
with laughter.
Such is the humor OF the uncivilized,
and such doubtless were the begin
nings OF mirth the world over.
Strange as it may seem, there are
many hints OF this barbarous origin
in the fun OF the most highly civilized.
We no longer laugh at really tragic
occurrences, it is true, for other and
more humane emotions are too strong
ly excited. But II We chance to see
ridiculous mishap which does not
quite rise to the dignity OF tragedy
an accident by which some one is
greatly inconvenienced and annoyed
without being seriously injured-the
remnant of the savage breaks loose in
us, and we laugh, sometimes until the
tears come.
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18
FRUIT STAINS
May Easily He Removed from Liner
When Fresh.


May Easily He Removed from Linen
When Fresh.
Fruit stains may easily be removed
from linen when fresh. Put the stained
portion over bowl in a cup shape, 30
the liquid will readily run through, and
pour over 1t boiling water until the
stain disappears. This must be done
before it has been in contact with cold
water or soap. Fresh tea stains are
removable in the same manner. Where
stains are dried make solution of one
teaspoonful of oXalic acid and one tea
cupful of soft cold water Dip the
stain in this, rub and at once thor
oughly rinse in clear water to prevent
the rotting of the fabric. When 1t is
inconvenient to procure oxalic acid,
it with wet starch and hang in the
sun. Apply these again and again un-
til the, linen is bleached. Mildew is
usually removable by the same meth
cd, or by an application of lemon Juice
and salt, followed by exposure to the
sun. To bleach the worst mildew 1t
may be needful to make a thick paste
of half cupful OF soft soap with pow
dered starch, half as much salt as
starch, and the juice of one lemon.
Wet both sides of the cloth with this
preparation and let it lie on the grass
over night, renewing the paste two or
three times.
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18
COMMITTED SUICIDE
To Garry Out the Predictions of q
Fortune Teller.

CRrry Out tnc fEeuiCtIOnb OF
Fortune Teller.
Driven insane by the predictions of
her death in the cards Of the fortune
tellers, Mrs. Marie Annie Gordiol burned
herself to death. Several times each
week Mrs Gardiol visited fortune tell
ers. She would ask tremblingly OF her
future. Each time she was told the
cards foretold misfortune, misery and
death. Secret enemies were said to be
at work She was warned against
poisoners. When Mrs. Gardiol became
ill and neighbors prepared delicacies
Tor her she refused to eat them. She
alarmed her children and husband by
her incantations. Several weeks ago
her husband forbade her calling on the
fortune tellers. She brooded over the
predictions. When her husband went
to work she sent the children out to
play and then set herself on fire.
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18
English Trade Booming.

The trade and navigation returns just
issued give evidence that British trade
is booming. The imports for the
month showed an increase of more
than f4,0OO,O0O. The increase during
the six preceding months was trifling
compared with that seen in July. EX-
ports also show large increase-more
than f3.O0O,O00. The largest increase
is in imports of articles of food and
drink which are duty free. The in
crease is well distributed except In the
lease of wheat, which shows n decrease
Tin quantity and value.
In exports the greatest increase Is in
metals; next comes textiles and raw
materials. In the case of metals the In
crease in value greatly exceeds the in
crease in quantity.
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18
Whore HI. Courage Failed,

1t is the proud boast of Archie Bruce
that he is a lineal descendant of the
great Scottish hero, and, as becomes a
man of his blood, he prides himself on
his courage, says the San Francisco
News Letter. For several months
there has been in his family servant
who has completely terrorized his wife,
the latter being the victim and not the
commander of her nerves. There was
a terrible row between mistress and
maid last Saturday, and on Monday
morning Mrs. Bruce said to her hus-
band:
Archie, l cannot stand Mary Jane
any longer Won't you please dis
charge her before you go to business
this morning? You know how afraid
of her am" ..-
Certainly" replied Mr.. Bruce, with
suave courage, certainly. The crossest
creature that ever cracked a cup or
cleaned kettle cannot COW me-"
The valiant Archibald sometimes
surprises himself and his friends by
floating along on stream of allitera-
ton. Procuring his hat and coat. he
descended to the basement kitchen,
and in stentorian tones bravely ad-
dressed the servant
Mary Jane, ahem! | must hurry OF
now, but, ahem,-Mrs Bruce asked me
to tell you that she wants, ahsm!-to
speak to you after have gone TO the
ofnoAs
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18
THE G. RMAN EMPEROR.
The Truth About This Young and Am
bilious Monarch.

bilious Monarch.
The German emperor has been ridi-
culed by foreign critics mercilessly
since he ascended the throne. This
was natural. because he succeeded two
great rulers and soldiers. and seemed
to lack the great qualities for which
they had been conspicuous. 1t was
easy for foreign writers to sneer at
him as vainglorious soldier who had
never been under fire. In reality he is
much cleverer monarch than his enc
mics abroad have supposed. He lacks
neither energy nor force of charcter,
and he understands Germany. His first
object after his accession was to dispel
the delusion that he was under his
mothers influence and predisposed to
take English views of Germany's inter-
ests. 1t was important for him to do
this, because the Empress Frederick
was known to be the most capable of
Queen Victoria's children and to have
exerted a powerful influence over his
father. When the emperor had shown
himself to be thorough German, his
next step was to remove a rival whose
moral authority was greater than his
own. This was Prince Bismarck, the
real founder of the empire. So long
as he remained chancellor the emperor
was subordinate figure, acting upon
his advice and ruled by him. This
was fatal to the influence and prestige
of a young, inexperienced ruler. who
was supposed to be weak-minded and
hot-tempered. The emperor either al
lowed or forced his greatest minister
to retire from public life. Released
from the veterans overshadowing In
tiuence, he has succeeded in convincing
his subjects and foreign nations that
he is competent to direct with strong
hand the policies of the empire. He
has magnified his own influence until
he is now credited with having more
political authority than either his
father or his grandfather had. This is
because his ministers take their orders
from him and carry out his ideas in
diplomacy domestic affairs and the
management of the military and naval
services. His will Is the supreme
force in Germany. A practical, clear
headed German, he has understood the
tS"pSi VI MS o"h PScpiS' any ~
garded England as their chief CONNER
cial rival. He has contrived to thwart
English diplomacy in eastern Europe
and to open the way for Strengthening
Germany's sea power and gaining a
foothold in China. These are popular
policies in Germany, where there has
been a great industrial revival during
the last twenty years, from which Eng
land has suffered. The emperor is a
martinez in family discipline. He ex-
acts obedience from all members of
the imperial family. His sister, the
duchess Of Sparta, did not follow his
advice, and he punished her by humil-
iating Greece during the recent Cretan
affair. His brother. Prince Henry, is
his favorite, and is sent out to China
in command of the German squadron.
This is because Prince Henry yields
himself completely to his will. The
emperor is vainglorious and makes
rhetorical speeches, but he is strong
ruler of a military empire, and he
knows what Germany wants.-Youth's S
Companion.
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18
FRmOuA Cameo.

The prize of the Marlborough collec-
tion OF gems sold during the week. a
cameo OF Cupid and Psyche, the most
famous cameo in the world, was
bought for America-it is believed that
the Boston museum-in spite Of the
fact that the treasury gave the British
museum 100000 for the purchase at
this sale. A private donor gave the
museum $4,000. but this arrived too
late to secure the great cameo.
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18
Aztec Calendar.

The Santa Fe Route has issued a
handsome six months calendar, July
to December, 1899, which contains six
separate reproductions in color, skill
inches, of u. A. Burbank's celebrated
portraits of Pueblo Indians; one for
each month.
These are the same reproductions
used in Brush and Pencil" and can
not be obtained separately for less
than S15O In fact, some of them al
ready command high premium. The
"Aztec Calendar" also has an engraved
cover containing a reproduction Of the
ancient Aztec Calendar stone.
Obtainable for % cents by applying
to ]. p. Hail. General Agent A., Il. Il s.
F. Ry., Denver. May be ordered by
mail
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18
RAckeh by kcpMtntlOn.

The Union Pacific has added new. mod
ern equipment to its service both east
and west from Denver, and gives even
better satisfaction to its patrons than in
the past. 1t stands without n rival ns the
quickest and most elegant route, with
accommodations to accommodate all
classes of passengers. Only one night to
Chicago. st. Louis and St. Paul. and over
ten hours saved between Denver and the
Pacific coast. Ticket office 9il 18th street.
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18
sr.r, OF ONO, CITY OF TOLEDO, / ,

LUCAS COUNTY,
Frank j. Cheney makes oath that he is tns
Asoin9 business in the City of Toledo, County
end State aforesaid and that said hrm VII VII pay
the sum OF ONE HUNDRED DoLLAhS 10.
sach and every case of Catarrh that cannot DC
'uieu W ' FRANK ]. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed In my
presence. this 9th day of December. A. y. 1850
ffSSAIS A. w. GLEASON,
Notary Public
Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken internally; ano o
acts directly on the blood and mucous SUI surfaces
F. J. CHENEY CO., Toledo. u
Sold by Druggists, 15c.
Halls Family Pills are tho pest
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18
True Cause of Stag. FrIxht.

An expert has arisen to explain that
stage fright comes from a disordered
stomach. He argues from this that per-
sons meditating public appearances
should be careful of their diet and ad-
here to regular habits.
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18
Another Big stea mship.

The North German Lloyd Steamship
Company has just ordered from the
Vulcan yards at Stettin n new twin
screw express steamship, to be the ex-
act duplicate of the Kaiser Wilhelm
der Crosse. The new vessel will have
a speed of twenty-three knots, and Is
ordered for delivery in 1901.
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18
Looking Forward.
American Youth

American Youth-"Amersoa fol
Americans! Hoop, hoop. hur-"
Fellow-W -Workman-"Hush!"
"What's the matter? All the Other
men in this factory are Americans
amt they?"
Yes. But the owners are foreign
ers."
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18
LadIe. Cnn Menr sh ,t..

One size smaller after using Aliens Foot
Ease, powder for the feet. 1t makes
tight or new shoes easy. Cures swol-
len, hot, sweating, aching feet, ingrow,,
ing nails, corns and bunions. AT ali
druggists and shoe stores, 25 cts. Iriai
package FREE by mail Address Allen
B. Olmsted, lie Roy, N. Y.
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18

Jack, my health is wrctchcd: l ough
to go away" Isabel. II you quit readin
those seashore advertisements you
health will be all right"
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18
Hint to Housekeepers.

Skirts and dresses should always be
starched in hot starch. "Faultless Starch
gives the best results as it does not injure
the fabrics. All grocers sell 1t, l0c package.
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18

FITS rermanentlyCurcd. Tonts or nervousness afte
brst days use Of Or. kline's Great Nerve Restorer
ssnd for FREE e2.OO trial bottle and treatise
De R. II. KLINE. Ltd s3l Arch ST. Phlladelphla. Pa
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18
How to Make Money.

We want an agent in every town to take
subscrtptions for Georges Weekly tfor-
merly The ROAD. Liberal terms. Write
for particulars. 1nclose &c stamp for
sample copies. Herbert George Editor.
p. q. Drawer 1924, Denver, Colo.
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18

IT rather like this house cleaning time
o. year" you don't mean it,! Yes:
tired that she let's me have my own way
about everything"
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18

"War seems to be very much like those
old Eenii who got out of the bottles in the
Arabian Nights "How's that?'
"Why. 1t is easier TO let 1t loose than 1t
is to cork is up again"
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18

What Is this lovely album for, Fla
villa?" I'm going to have the men I'm
engaged to this summer write the auto
names"
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18

Look how the bookkceper is smiling.
Has his salary been raised?" mo; the
stenographer is letting him brag on his
homegrown tomatoes"
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18

Rage is for little wrongs; despair is
dumb.-Hannah Moore
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18

Mrs. winslow's Soothing syrup.
For children teething softens the gums, reduces In
dAmmAtton. Alays pain cures wind collie 25c bottle
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18
Postal Cards Receipts.

Germany's receipts from picture pos
tai cards were increased from 1885 to
lesY By 100000.
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18
Heed the Red Flag of Dungeri

Red pmpes, blotches. bolls sores nre danger sig
mails of torpid liver poisoned blood Cascnreis Candy
ca athartic will save you All druggists lOc. 25c, 5OC
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18
AnTlIrno, AND CHILDKES's HOME
MU IntkS 1909 3"d St, Denver. Colo
CENTRAL BUSINESS COLLEGE

SHORTHAND AND TELEGRAPHf.
sos 10th street, corner of stout Street Trial In
struciion and oulft FREE We have more stu
dents In positions than all other Denver Colleges
combined Write for illustrated catalogue.
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18

daughter. Mrs Glumm." Yes; she's the
only child l have who likes to help me
worry
The Springfield herald., 1899-08-18
An Excellent Combination.

The pleasant method and beneficial
effects of the well known remedy,
SYRUP OF FIGs, manufactured by the
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP Co., illustrate
the value of obtaining the liquid laxa-
tive principles of plants known to be
incidentally laxative and presenting
them in the form most refreshing to the
taste and acceptable to the system. 1t
is the one perfect strengthening laxa-
tive, cleansing the system effectually,
dispelling colds, headaches and fevers
gently yet promptly and enabling one
to overcome habitual constipation per-
manently. Its perfect freedom from
every Objectionable quality and SUBJ
stance, and its acting on the kidneys,
liver and bowels, without weakening
or irritating them, make 1t the ideal
laxative.
In the process of manufacturing figs
are used, as they are pleasant to the
taste, but the medicinal qualities of the
remedy are obtained from senna and
other aromatic plants. by method
known to the CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP
Co. only. In order to get it's beneficial
effects and to avoid limitations, please
remember the full name of the Company
printed on the front of every package.
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP co.
SAN FRANCISCO. CAL.
LOUISVILLE, KY. v NEW YORK, n +.
For sale by all Drusgists.-Price Soc. per bottle
The Daily Texarkanian. [volume] (Texarkana, Ark.) 1894-1906, 1899-12-27
E CENTS TO TEN DOLLARS incest Assortment City DRUG
IN HONOR OF TExARKANA.
Jim Christopher Has Struck Paying
Ore in His Lead and Zinc Mine
in Missouri

Jim Christopher who aeft here a
short time ago for Spurgeou, Mis-
souri,, to prospect for lead and zinc,
has struck the metal in paying
quantities and has named the mine
"The Texarkana.
Mr.. Frank Fouke is just from
there and says that the new mining
town is on a boom and that among
the lucky ones in hitting a paying
lode, is our townsman, Jim Christie
pher.
Mr. Christopher has a shaft some
sixteen feet deep and is taking out
ore that will pay good money. He
will sink the shaft 36 feet deep, the
contract department HE'S under
obligation to go before can per
feet his claim.
Mr.. Fouke says that these shafts
are sunk by blasting and that the
process is slow but not costly.
He reports one miner up there
who has been offered $25, 600 for
his claim aud refused it, He said
the land on which the deposit of
lead and zinc is found is not for sale
at any price. Any one can locate a
claim, but to forfect it, they must
sign to go SO many feet deep and to
pay the owner of the land 20 per
cent of the out put of the mine.
The Daily Texarkanian. [volume] (Texarkana, Ark.) 1894-1906, 1899-12-27
Don't Believe 1t.

The dispatches say that the Fe-
mans are organizing in New York
for a raid on Canada for the pur.
pose of freeing Ireland from the
British yoke. 1t is said 500 are now
enrolled and the movement means
1875 900 men who are willing to GO
into the fight. Arms and amuni-
ton bave been secured and secret
ed and war like preparation is
going on in a quiet way. We be-
leve this report is sent out merely
by Boer sympathizers to keep the
Canadian government from sending
troops to South Africa.
The Daily Texarkanian. [volume] (Texarkana, Ark.) 1894-1906, 1899-12-27

Robert L, Saner, Secretary of
the State Executive Committee Of
the Texas Democracy was here yes
terday, making new acquaintance
and shaking hands with those he had
met before, We had a pleasant
call from the young man and found
him quite entertaining, Mr.. Saner
says the democratic party of his
state will roll up its old time major.
ity for the leader In 1000.
The Daily Texarkanian. [volume] (Texarkana, Ark.) 1894-1906, 1899-12-27

The Mother Goose entertainment
will take place on Wednesday night
Dec. 9th, at the West Side assem-.
bly, hall, for the benefit Of furnish.
ing the railroad Y. M. 9, A. hall,
The low admission Of rs cents will
be charged. Let every one attend
WHO can, IL "a &c
The Daily Texarkanian. [volume] (Texarkana, Ark.) 1894-1906, 1899-12-27

Suggestive Things for Presents
Ladies' Gold Watches, $500.
Diamond 6 Pearl Penants from SIS to S7so
Gents Gold Scarf Pins from SI.oo upward
Ladies Fine Purses from $500 to $4,000.
AT
LOUIS HEILBRON'S
The Daily Texarkanian. [volume] (Texarkana, Ark.) 1894-1906, 1899-12-27
BIRTHDAY PARTY.

Yesterday afternoon, from 3 to 6
O'clock, one of the most enjoyable
birthday parties ever celebrated
here, participated in by the little
folks, occurred at the handsome
home of Mr.. aud Mrs. 7 S. Mullins,
on Pecan street. Miss Linnie Ruth
Mullins had invited quite number
of her little friends to come and
celebrate her ninth birthday, and
from some who were present we
learn that a great time was had by
one and all. After enjoying the
pastime of merry games, etc, for
some time, all partook of appetizing
refreshments, and left Tor home,
wishing their pleasant and fascinat-
ing young friend many returns Of
the day. The following were pres
ent on the occasion:
Misses Lizzie Weber, Mildred
Gardner, Hortense Boswell, Mary
DeGarmo, Maggie Sue Hammond,
Lucy Arnold, Helen Buchanan,
Evelyn McFarlane, Marguerite
Whitmarsh, Wade Pettigrew, lisa
Bolinger, Maggie Trigg Masters
Hal Crouch, Rodna Williams, Chas.
Turner, Ernest Turner, Trditt Of
fenhauser, Walker Trigg Will
Buchanan, Carlton Mullins, Melster
McFarlane, George Harriss,
The Daily Texarkanian. [volume] (Texarkana, Ark.) 1894-1906, 1899-12-27
A proverb Calendar for 1900.

Each year when we receive the
Hoods Sarsaparila Calendar we
wonder how it is possible to orisl-
nate such clever designs. The
"Proverb Calendar" itself is sus-
pended 10 front of two little tots,
one robed in delicate pink and the
other in blue, On the reverse side
there are the usual astronomical
calculations and other facts, The
Calendar is made TO stand alone on
desk or table, or it may be suspen-
ded on the wall; You should be sure
to get one of these Calendars from
your druggist, or one will be mailed
to you by sending 6 cents in stamps
to G. !. Hood & Co., Lowell Mass,
The Daily Texarkanian. [volume] (Texarkana, Ark.) 1894-1906, 1899-12-27

she Mistakes the Effect for the
cause" That is what the person
does who tries to cure rheumatism
or any other disease by allevating
the symptoms. Hoods Sarsaparila
removes the cause and permanently
cures.
The Daily Texarkanian. [volume] (Texarkana, Ark.) 1894-1906, 1899-12-27
The Methodist Tree.

The State Line Methodist church
was the scene Of a Christmas tree
last night, The church was deco
rated in green vines and the large
tree was loaded with apples and
oranges and small toy presents for
the children. Everything went off
smoothly we learn, with the excep-
ton that A. p, Brown, who was
distributing presents, put his head
against lighted taper on the tree,
and instantly his head was aHame
The blaze was put out and Mr.
Brown was not burned.
The little cnes all received a pres
eut and went away happy.
The Daily Texarkanian. [volume] (Texarkana, Ark.) 1894-1906, 1899-12-27
Santa Claus Makes No
Mistake

When he chooses for the Xmas
feast from our choice stock of fancy
and staple groceries. Our -four for
your Xmas baking, our superior
and exquisitely favored cohees and
teas, our plum buildings, relishes,
crystalized fruits and ginger, for
eign and domestic cheese, meet with
the favor of the couoisseur.
Meriwether & Taylor's,
zIo East Broad st. Phone 100
The Daily Texarkanian. [volume] (Texarkana, Ark.) 1894-1906, 1899-12-27
What to Get For Christmas

1t would take this entire page to
describe Chas S. Erber's grand line
Of Holiday goods, Call early and
make your selection; goods laid aside
now need not be paid for until
Christmas.
The Daily Texarkanian. [volume] (Texarkana, Ark.) 1894-1906, 1899-12-27

Hoods Pills do not grippe. All
druggists. 3