The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1899-08-18
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Judge.
The Cuban insurgents have raised
Hades long enough; now let them raise
cane.-Chicago Times-Herald.
she-"You say you met your friend
acidentallyT' He-"Yes; l fell In with
him while skating."-Yonkers States
man.
Conundrum by the Cheerful Idiot:
Q.-"What is worse than raining cats
and dogsY" A.-.Hailing cabs and
'buses."-Punch.
Mother drilling Teddy for his first
party)-And now, darling, what Is a
greedy boy? Teddy-A boy who wants I
everything l want.
"what kind Of a tree is the hardest
10 climbT' asked the teacher. zone that
hain't got no limbs" little Albert re-
plied.-Chicago News.
1--WE didn't have time to stop, so we
bought a lunch and ate 1t as we drove
along" "Ah, see-you dined a la
art."-Pbiladelphia Bulletin.
Shelf capital punishment must
be. 1 certainly favor electricity" He
"Oh! That is to say, you prefer cur
rents to raisin's Harlem Life.
Mrs. Mcbride Harry, 1 was beside
myself at the condition you came home
in last night" Harry-'Yes; it seems
to me I did see two OF you."-Judge.
Little Willie-"Pa, why do they call
them minor poets'T Pa-"Because
they ought to be working with the
pick and shovel, my son."-Tit-Bits-
Here's a benevolent assimilation for
you" as the milkman remarked, when
he showed the can under the spout Of
the pump.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Mortified old lady-Oh, kind sir, think
of your motherl Think of your motherl
Burglar (sternly)-No use, lady; was
brought up in an Observation-Disclosures.
Caner-Excuse me, can I speak 10
your typewriter a moment? City man
You can't; she's engaged. Caller
That's all right; I'm the fellow.-Illus-
trated Bits
His sweetheart have always heard
that all Spaniards were expert at fenc-
ing. Returned yolunteer-Yes, indeed
they are; especially with barbed wire,
Brooklyn Life.
Tom-Why were you so determined
, to kiss that homely cousin Of yOursi
Dick-I wanted to establish a prece-
7 dent. She has two very pretty sisters
? you knowledge.
/ Little Mike lin the midst Of his read
: ing)-Feyther, how d'yez pronounce
K I-l-o-il-o? Ubberty-Pronounce ut
j., Begorral did yez niyer hear a tur-r-r
= key gobble?-Puck.
First tourist-That Indian seems Il
have an awful load on. Second touris
Yes. He has evidently followed Kip
ling's advice, and taken up the whit
mans burden.-Life.
Have you ever read the article OF
how to tell a bad egg?" "No, haven't
but my advice would be, If you hav'
anything important to tell bad egg
why, break 1t gently."-Tit-Bits.
: Dombey-How did you get that sea
on your forehead. Jones? Jones-Oh
my wife and l had an argument, an
she obeyed that mean old adage-
2 strike while the iron Is hotDJudge.
J. Toni don't know whether sh
d sings or not" Jack-"She doesn't
s heard her"
h She-"You are n conundrum." He
d, But hope you haven't given me u
10 yet"-Town Topics.
ID Hello, Swardie. haven't met 20
b, since you came 10 the city and set u
lie for a doctor. How are you gettin
y along? Are you making your mark
IT. s.Er-yes. I'm doing considerable va
n clnating."-Chicago Tribune.
r. How can you scold all the timei
IN was asked Of the woman with five stel
d. children and an indolent husband.
Is can't Just explain IT, but knows tbs
IT. I'm blessed with wonderful powers
II endurance"
a pun" remarked the pedant, Sc
merely a play on words" Yes a
ne swered the frivolous person. 'Th'
ng call it a play; but, as rule, it seen
is more Ike arduous and unnecessal
nd work. Washington Star.
he The dear girl had been batting hi
es again. DO you believe in love at FIR
lc- sirhtg' she asked. "Of course" a
re swered the savage bachelor. DO "
at suppose. il n man had the gift Of sc
Is ond sight, lie would fall in love!"
ne = heard We were on shtrike." 81
~, Mike to his friend Pat Il was thai
ne answered Pat. "A shtrike for wis
~ Patgr For shorter hours, Mike
An did We get themT Sure we d
ue Mike. Its not workln' al all I q
ay now"
ed Look here" said young heutena'
ost "this uniform you have made for me
lat entirely too large" That's all RICH
ay explained tile tailor when you get
we on you'll feel So bis thar it will be
he perrect philadelphia North Am
en- lean.
ny Farmer with wife and two childrt
oe How much fer tickets fer the you
nss Railway ticket-selle--Betwc
i've and twelve half-fare. Farme
iK Gosh darn IL, Mandy. Wen hev G
eir wait till termorrer; its Laif-past TIVE