New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-02-08

y
so 18th. PAS got one, it's bawld; ma
she's long headed and pa, he's bull he'd
ed; but Pun red heded and level headed,
100. The smart end of q boy is he'd, ex
cept when he gets spanked, but the smart
end Of bee is not there oh no. Pa says
|if Teller has head he will get he'd
in the world, but don't want no he'd
like he gets when he gets out with the
boys"
A travelling man tells Of tombstone
in Illinois which bears peculiar inscrip-
ton. Among the things bereayed hus5
band had carved upon the headstone was
the following: s'Lord, she was Thine
Remorseless time has wrought havoc
with the slab of marble and the letter
sc" OF the last word is entirely effaced,
so that the reading of the sentence IS now
hardly complimentary to the departed.
X X X
A gentleman who is very much inter.
ssted in the raising Of hogs, and who
has become quite well known through
his introduction of an excellent variety
among the farmers of the Northwest, is
SAID to have received letter recently
which looks so many ways that he does
not know whether to be pleased with it
or not. 1t began: II went yesterday to
the fair at A. found several pigs Of
your species. There was larger variety
than usual, and / was surprised at not
seeing you there" .... 49,
An Irishman made date with his
sweetheart, who failed to keep her word,
and this is what he wrote her:
My darlin' Peggy.-I met you last
night, and you never came! I'll meet
you again tonight, whether you come or
whether you stop away. # Pm there
first, sure I'll write my name on the gate
to tell you of it; and if It's you that's
first why rub it out, darlln' and no one
will be the wiser. I'll never fail to be
at the trystin place, Peggy; for, faith, I
can't keep away from the spot where
you are, whether you're there or whether
you're not. Your own Mike.
An exchange says: 1t makes all the
difference in the world what kind of a
burden man carries as to how he COM
plains. Twelve pounds of baby makes
some men tired unto death in less than
two hours, whereas 100 Tbs. of sweet
heart used to sit in the same lap from 8
%. m. to 1916 a. m, without q murmer
from the owner of the lap. Half mile
to church is long walk when ten
mile tramp around a billiard hall is
recreation, and it is quite burden to go
back mp town after supper on an GRAND
for your wife, but it is refreshing to
stand on a street corner and talk politics
for couple of hours.
The girl who tiirts with whlskerless
posljn till he doesn't know whether he
is floating in sea of champagne to the
sound of celestial music, sliding down d
creased rainbow or riding down the
ridge pole of an aurora borealis, then
Tells him she can only be a Christmas
present, opera ticket, ice cream sister to
him, who steals his unripe affections and
allows them to get frost bltteu-carries
him into the empyrean OF happy love
only to drop him with q kerplunk that
fills his callow heart with colnpoUnc
fracture well, she cannot be prosecute
ed for petit larceny nor indicted for ma
licious mischief, but the unfortunate fel
low who finally gets her will be gladt t.
90 to heaven where there is neither mar
| rying nor giving in marriage.
Don't Tell Them Where You Found Me.
The above is the name OF pew son:
issued on the following incident Tn
Rev. Thos. Delaney, when Chaplain of
large State Penitentiary, while passin!
through the Hospital Ward was calle'
to the bedside Of a dying convict. Tn
last few words Of the unfortunate you'll
we're: "Father, see you do not know
me, but you know me we'll and my fam
ily, will die tonight" prepared hi
souls exit into eternity and whilst hi
hands were clasped in mine his last re
| quest was made: ssIn my dying momen
promise me what ] will ask" Iher
gave him ri. ord he then revealed hi
! :, ~, 40 tI,anoht i'm 5f1aal .sNny