The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-06-28

Thursday evenings. \ splendid pro-
gramme has been arranged.
The funeral of Noah w. Badgly, an
old resident Of Oakland took place on
Sunday afternoon.
WHOLLY UNPREMEDITATED.
An Elmira doctor has disproved the
notion that garlic is a cure for hydro
phObia. This will rob the disease of
much of its terror.
A tombstone, with a single cucum-
Der engraved upon it, is oftentimes
more expressive than one carved with
ten lines of obituary pathos.
The Hallstead Herald editor informs
subscriber that it cannot tell him
how to cure a ham" unless he knows
what als the ham.
Soon will the newspaper men heavo
a big sigh and wish he We're a minis
ter. so that his health might fail him
for season and he might bef sent to
te seaside to take a wash. Newspaper
men and the devil take few vacations
A young man never feels so much at
a loss what to do, as when he takes
his best girl to a picnic. a big black
ant Crawls down her back and begins
tn bite her just above the belt and she
begins to scream for help.
SUCCINCTLY STATED.
The Erie shopmen today received
their ducats for services i'm May.
The board Of pardons having refused
to interfere, Eagam and Shew will
hang, July IS, in Montrose.
The Seven-County Soldiers reunion
will be held in Riverside Park. Lanes
bOro, Aug. 16. The Susuchanna Coun-
ty veteran organization will cncamr
at the same place, Aug. Il, Is. 10.
The Susquehanna street fair will be
held Sept. 9 and :. In the lurid Ian
guage of the circus poster lit will bC
| worth going miles to see"
The Susquehanna band will furnish
music for the Fourth of July Cclebra,
| tOn in Hancock.
Riverside Park, LanesbOrO will Ccle.
| brate "the 4th." The Scranton Chora
| union of fifty voices and the North
eastern band, of Susquehanna will fur.
| nish music.
The recent fair ncttcd Erie Hose
| company over $1,000. a new hose car
riage and other ncccssaries will be pur.
| chased.
| Laurel Hill academy and St. Johns
| parochial school has "a splendid eXhibit
| Of school work in DOherty's block
Main street. 1t speaks volumes fol
| teachers and pupils
| Several Erie engineers are rcmOvinl
| from Port Jervis to Susquehanna.
\ LITTLE DESSERT.
If ever there comes time, | note.
| When the winds get up and squcal
It's when a man with the long-tailc,
| coat,
Goes out TO ride his wheel
is McK---y.
The peace conference spends mos
Of its time deciding rules Of warfare.
One of the problems in the far cas-
is to produce Filipino who will sta!
cut after he has been driven out.
\ Susquehanna fisherman was troll
ling i'm KEGS pond, over on the Gravity
recently, and caught a scvcn-poun,
pickerel, that sprinted for the spool
so fast that the hump of it's bacl
| could be seen an inch and a half abov,
| water.
From north TO south, from west to cast
Bright business mon all know
| That advertising is the yeast
| That's sure to raise tho dough"
DR.. +. G. French, of Eau Claire
Wis, writes to his brother in Lanes
boro: whenever you read anytime
i'm the paper given by reporters tina
may seem exaggerated, believe it al
and know the half has not been told.
! Thanks, Doc, awfully.
FLOTsAM AND JETSAM.
John Ferguson, esq, of Susquchan
ma, will do the OratOriCal act in bus.
Burnwood. John will make the eagl
| scream.
Summer boardcrs from the city ar
arriving in beautiful Montrose. Sheriff
Ward Dewell has the coolest, safes
and most retired boarding house in tn
old town.
A bountiful rain on Sunday fell alik
upon the just, the unjust and tn
| strawberry crop.
The Erie anticipates a heavy eXCur
sion business this season.
About 200 Binghamton people excurt
co To Riverside Park. Laneboro, OF
Sunday.
Honesdale editors are doing som
wrcnchng guessing as TO what tn
Delaware and Hudson and the Erie ar
going TO do between handsome Homes
dale and conservative Carbonate. Al
unabridged Of the guesscs would b
something awful to behold. Compare
with it crazy quilt wouldn't be in il
Whitney.