Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-12-30
TRACING DOWN A LIE.
some humorous Experiences With
Men of Veracity.

Men of Veracity.
From the New Orleans Times Democrat
when I write my great work on The
Whole Art of Lying; or. Mendacity With
out Master" said an amateur cvnic of
this city, Il am going to devote several
chapters to substitute witnesses. The east
est way in the world for a perfectly honest
man to become entangled in a complicated
mesh of untruth is to stand proxy for
another fellows veracity. Let me illustrate
the point by little experience of my own
Not long ago a certain gentleman of my
acquaintance, who has a well-earned repu-
tation for scrupulous exactitude, told me a
marvellous story about an educated dog
mat ne hdd seen in store in Royal street,
ana among other things declared that the
animal would bark twelve times every dav
at noon. That interested me greatly for /
nave made something of a study of animal
intelligence and never discovered either
blrd or beast that could count above three
So | posted off Immediately to see the dog
My friend gave me rather vague directions
ana L secured an area of five or six bio ks
without finding anybody who had ever
heard of the prodigy. That puzzled me,
for 1t was hard to believe such a truthful
man had told deliberate lie, and l went
around to his office to do a little crOss-ex-
aiming. He was viSbly embarrassed
under my questions and finally he broke
down The story is all right he said
ard the dog is really there, but / stretched
Things a little when l told you 1 saw him
animal. and he'll be glad to give you the
PARTICULARS But what made you say You
saw him yourself?' l asked in surprise.
On! Well, he replied. you didn't know my
cousin, ana to lug him in would have in
volVed lot of tiresome explanation. So
Just told the story at first hand. But it's
address,
II called on tho co,Si, OF o,oo, 49,
unued the speaker and when | mentioned
the dog he became enthusiastic. He's the
most wonderful creature / ever saw he
declared. Did You hear about him bark
ing twelve? That treasured me. and T
asked the address, but again the directions
were rather misty. L don't know much
about the old quarter he admitted. but
IT S near so-and-So, and he named famil-
lar landmark. Accordingly | started ont
afresh, with no better results than before
and returned rather hot about the collar
LOOK here" | said, tell me frankly-dfd
you see that dog yourself or did YOU mere
ly hear about him.? The cousin turned sew
eral shades of pink and tried to dodge the
question, but pinned him down, and final
~ ne confessed that he got it from Nike
IN whose word he had implicit confidence
You see, you didn't know Mike he began,
and to lug him in oh yes | snt.ered
understand all about that, but the man
want to see now is Mike himself He
IS my porter said the cousin rather faint
~ u II call him at once if you'll wait
Mike proved to be as good natured and
irresponsible an old fraud as 1 ever laid
eyes on, and he replied to his masters
questions with perfect sang froid. Had he
seen the dog? Sure. And wonderful dog
1t was to bark the time when the hands Of
the clock were forninst II He had never
seen the beat of it in his life. Now, see
mere. Mike, | cut in, I've gone on two
wiz goose errands already and lust to
save time suppose you tell US right now
VINO told you about that dog Who tould
me! repeated the old rascal, looking star
Ted Yes, who told you? l know perfect
ly well you didn't see him yourself Mike
grlnned sheeplshly. 1t must be a Uoind
reader We are, sor. he stammered. We'll,
VINO was it? French Pete, the milkman,'
he replied reluctantly He's a lad We don't
know he was adding, but l sawed him
Off. Oh, to be sure l said sarcastically,
and You were afraid it would complicate
things to lug him in. I wonder who's
Pete's friend?' l made a special trip next
morning to see the milkman who wasn't
French at all, but a sort Of mongrel Portu-
guese. with heathenish patois almost i'm
possible to understand. When asked about
the dog he scratched his head and looked
puzzled. At last he grasped the idea and
fool' he said. That dog ez not life They
make i'm outa iron-beeg iron dog-how
you call 'im-automatique-on top ze church
IN Lisbon-With bell on hez inside | had
read about the curious bronze dog in Lis
bon that chimes the hours on a deep bell
that sounds something like bark, and |
felt violent impulse to club somebody |
didn't care mucn who. When | cooled off
| realized that It was a fine example of
vicarious mendacity for my book / tell
you a chain letter is nothing to a chain
q