Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-07-01

w -!- q On ! !, Il VI.
u Ea as3otio is a man who nev
he?' "A strawberry peddler "-Detroi
Free Press
doctor, my husband SAYS black an.
req spots appear before his eyes ever.
night What do you adviser Il al
+ wise that he stop playing poker. Chi
| cago News.
Judge 90 a man up for having fix,
wives" How could You he so hardenet
a villain?' The Prsoner-"Please, YOU
honor. | was only trying to Get 4 goot
one. '-Tit-Rts
Have YOU al YOU want for your trip
inquired the Official Yes answered
the captain Of the warshp hesitatingly
.. {naJ Is. al mat l ought to, expect
| Well, t" tell the truth think we ough
| - have few stcnographers posted abnu
the snip 50 as 10 have official ana YER
may occur '-Washington Star.
Kelly growing pathctic)-"Pity a poor
unfortunate man. kelliher. thot's got To
90 nome 10 MS woife,' Kcllihcr-" Brac,
I UP. Kelly! Brace up We should b.
lhankiul re are not the SuItan!'-Puck
Miss Prlsm-"Do lct your dog bite
| me. littIc~ boy" Boy-.'He won't bite
ma am Miss Prism-"But liz Il show
| Ing ms teeth. Boy with pridel-"Cer-
A't'AiN ~ L. ii4t ttill anu il Gu udU good
teeth as he has you'd show 'cm, too. '--
| Chicago News.
Novel to some-NIiss Antique: NO.
m 10, going Y Mrs. Whitehairs recep-
| she always talks about old times. ANA
that makes me tired. | don't see how
you can stand her" "But. nv dear. her
| subject Is new to most OF Us. you know. .
New York Weekly.
| Grimes: The parson said today that
cast your bread upon the waters ana il
| Will return after many days. What d.
X ys think q that Burns: II think
umbrellas. When they go they so for
good. Boston Transcript.
Double Proof DO you believe in hered-
| iiN. Mrs. simpson Indeed. | do;
G G!ahi E mean trait Bobby has can tra1e
father believe in hcredity, too?" Yes.
he traces Bobby's faults all back to me-
Chicago Record.
Persistent Bride: "Will you love me
just as much when | am dead?" Bride
groom tabsently): More. darling; more
| It'll Bits.
They were seated at the ice-cream ia
Pie moh; dear: said the sweet SRI,
y a man M saw an opPortuni fso kht ny
| It was rather warm he said, 'bnt>> l
| didn't think it was as hot as that's
| enough to melt pure gold. Chicago
I News.
the aged philanthropist. that my money
will after my death remain in this coun-
| try. where | made it. and the home of my
| adoption Have YOU thought of any
| way this can be fully assured?" inquired
! his lawyer. n have" replied the phil
| anthropiSt confidently. Il am going 10
leave it to a foreign missionary society,"
Life.
In training. Did YOU ever save a dol
| lar?' asked the citizen severely. "Nev-
er. answered Meandering Mike. Did
gent man. an YOU can see dat desc dis
| cusSIonS between capital an labor IS
| bound to continue. What I'm amin az
| is 70 keep me mind perfectly free from
| prejudice on either side sos to be right
| in line when dey wants some one to do 4
| good Job Of arbitratin'. "-Washington
| Star.
| whispered thc young man, Aft only re-
mains for You to name the day i will
| marry YOU. Orlando she replied. as the
| ''on the first day Of the twentieth cen
| fury" And Orlando abjectly surrendered
! the point that had been long in dis
| pute between them. In defiance of every
| plainest elementary principles of math-
ematics, he murmured. "Nor are right.
| dearest. 1t begins January !. 1900.
Chicago Tribune.
mere ; ITO use. ne Sdltl. luSiliNtIN
'of my trying TO build house accord
ing to these plans for a $5Oo0 home"
why not?" inquired his wife.
Because | couldn't possibly raise more
How are You getting on in your clay
"oh-just lovely; I'm devoted to it,
This, is fine head; who is it?'
sweet? 1t is either Martin Luther or
Benjamin Franklin. Detroit Free Press.
Irresistible Attraction.-"Wha are YOU
stopping for, John? If We don't hurry
We'll miss our train You can go on
how they get that baiky horse started.
Chicago Tribune.
Where" asked the female suffrage
orator, would a man be today We're it
She paused a moment and looks !
around the hall Il repeat. She said.
where would man be today We're it not
He'd be in the garden Of Eden eating
strawberries" answered voice from
the gallery.-ChicagO News.
Little four-year-old Clara had behaved
very badly while her mother was enter
tanning caller ana the latter was
about to depart; Clara said: please,
Mrs: Brown, don't 90 away yeti.
why. Clara" said Mrs. Brown, | had
no idea you were SO fond of me
oh, it isn't that" was the frank re-
PIN. nut mamma Sdiu WAS 10 De
whipped soon you went away
practical jokes amt right. Sandy
Der's me old pard, Dusty, dat died from
de effects of one.
How'd it happen?"
''Well. you see. Dusty goes up to one
of DIES waysidc cottages an asks de lady
fer pie. De lady says. i amt got a pie
in de house. me good man, but here's Il
cake.
what species Of a cake wuz it. Billy?'
.''Twas-'twas a cake Of soap, Sandy"
Chicago News.
Harry" said the teacher to small
pupil you We're not present yesterday
Were you detained al home in conse-
quence of the inclemency of the wealth
er?'
NO. ma am replied Harry, my
mother wouldn't let me come cause it
raned."
Little Alice had been delegated to rock
the baby to sleep. BY ana by her mothe-
came in and found him still awake.
why, Alice. she said. isn't your little
brother asleep yet? NO. mamma. was
the reply. II tan't make him teep his