Weekly independent. [volume] (Elko, Nev.) 1887-1914, 1899-12-29
WHERE IS WILLIAMs
The Administration Wizard L. not At
tending Strictly to business.

| ihe administration Wizard L. not At
tending Strictly to Business.
1t behoovcs tie big medicine man
Ill the White House to begin ham.
mering his gong and thus scare away
the evil spirits who are playing the
dickens with stocks and grain. \
prosperity maker can't afford to take
even day oil. lie must keep the
wheels whizzing without even mo
ments respite or he is likely to share
the fate oi a Papuan idol which is
worshiped and admired during pros
porous times, but which is inconti-
nently pulled down aud kicked out Of
doors the moment misfortune begins
to arrive. \ joss must keep up his
reputation or get into trouble. Tho
Canton wonder worker must get
| down to business.
Since the fourth day of March, 1887
we have been assured TINT good crops
III Dakota and poor crops in India
rain in the United States and droulh
III Russia were solely attributed To
the thaumaturgic powers of the in.
spired one in the WhitcIIOusc. Look
at the harvcsts!7 we are told. Did
you ever see anything like them nn
der Democratic administration?
Look at the prosperity that is break
ing out like Il rash over the land? DO
| yOn any longer doubt that William
Is indeed the legitimate succcssor Of
MoSe7-.hnt he will lead ypu into Il
land flowing wish milk and homer
And il ANON dare lu intimate that
there are people wnc are not enjoy.
ing milk and honey three times day
the answer always comes: You un-
grateful scoundrel, look at Wall
street! Look at the Price Of stocks!
Can't you get along without milk and
honey when You see that stocks are
booming! Don't talk about your
pitiful necessities when You can see
that the sugar trust advanced live
points Yesterday. Go la. Watt
street Is the nerve ccnt,f Of the
country. II ut il prospcrlng, You are
prospcrlng. II you say you are not,
you're liar. Al any rate you're
Democrat, which Is worse
But here we sec Wall street itself
in trouble Stocks tumble aud ~
sympathy Herewith grain tumbles.
In the House Of Representatives Hon
Joseph Doiljver burns incense before
the Canton ioss-caIls upon the whole
world to fall down and worship him
as the greatest wonder worker that
ever came up the pikc-nnd at that
very moment the holy Of holics is III
q panic- Wall street is eaten up by
the b,ars as were the bad little boys
who jcercd at the bald head OF the
prophet. Stoochs 90 oil D, 10. and -
pOints and wheat comes tumhling at
ter. Wild eyed men run from bank
to bank only to bc cast into outer
darkness when they ask for loans on
GhN lE'hN''' Nhi W.
gold and there is no gold. Tho devil
is to pay and there is not even any
pitch hot. Where III the joss and
what is he doing at this time Of stress
and trialY Why is he not making
medicine. beating his gong aud pro-
nouncing eXorcisms aud against the
evil gcnii who are puncturing pros.
pcrity's tirc2 Where is william the
WizardY Where is heY
These arc momcntous questions.
They require immediate answer. For
wo repeat that the joss who sleeps on
duty is in imminent peril. IIc may he
mighty in all other respects, but il no
car bc relied upon 10 keep things
booming in Wall street his tribe is
nccurscd and his name il Mud. Let
some one kick the sOothsaycr In the
ribs and give him Il tip That there is
blood on tho Chicago Chron
icIc.