The record-union., 1899-05-07
STANDING OF THE CLUBS.
HUMOR IN SCIENCE.
Some Funny Things Happen in the
Smithsonian Institute,

The brother scientists of one of the
chief "birdologists'' at the Smithsonian
Institution had some fun with that good
natured gentleman-one of the most
eminent opponents of the science per-
tanning to feathered creatures in the
world-not long ago. They caused an
item to work it's way into circulation
and to be spread broadcast throughout
the country, to the effect that the ordi-
nary passenger pigeon of birdology was,
for some inexplicable reason or other,
dying out so rapidly that the Smithson-
ian Institution desired a number of
specimens of the same for stuffing and
mounting purposes. Now, passenger
pigeons are not so numerous as English
sparrows, of course, but, all the same,
there are so many of them extant that
they stand an excellent chance of en-
during as a species as long as the hui
man race inha bits this globe. The bird
scientist declines to state just how
many boxes of passenger pigeons he
has received up to date, together with
please remit bills through the mails
for the same, but the passenger pigeons
are said to be still a-coming. They are
sent back, express charges c. o. D.,
in each case, and bowls come in a-plen-
ty, to the effect that some of the birds
have expired on the return trip, and de-
manding payment for these dead ones.
The Smithsonian Institution does not
lock at first or even second glance ike
an outfit wherein there is likely to be
any fun worth speaking of, but the
corps of really distinguished scientists
who work over there do, in fact, enjoy
their daily quota of humor right along.
1t doesn't necessarily follow that be-
cause a man is a scientist with a lot
of queer initials after his name he does
not partake of at least some of the dis
tirctly human attributes of his genius.
The truth is that they are an extraor-
dirarily cheerful, unassuming set OF
gentlemen. and they are increasingly
poking fun at each others attainments
and ambitions One has only to see one
particular member of this scientific staff
"a man who is renowned throughout
the world for the depth of his learning
and his remarkable researches in his
specialty-sitting back in his shirt
sleeves in a tip-tilted chair, smoking
short and very disreputable briarwood
pipe, to understand how thoroughly
compatible science is with what might
be called humanness.
The scientists at the institution get a
good deal of fun out of letters that
come to them from all parts of the
country. Not long since a woman out
i'm Illinois wrote to the institution that
she had six toes on each of her feet,
and that she would be glad to place
herself on exhibition in the institution
for a pretty stiff figure. which she stip-
ulated. She was politely informed that
the institution was not hunting for live
human exhibits. Then there are alleged
fossil finders all over the country who
write requesting that their expenses be
paid for a trip to Washington in order
that they might bring their fossils
along with them to the institution.
Needless to state, their modest requests
are not acceded to- Their fossils gem
orally belong to species decidedly not
extinct. Again, scattered throughout
the country are many people who come
into possession of collections that they
suppose to be valuable. and these write
TO the Smithsonian Institution with the
view to making dicker. For example,
not long ago a Massachusetts woman
wrote to the institution, stating that her
father, retired sea captain, had re-
Gently died, leaving her nothing much
besides a large collection of curious
shells, many of which, he had told her,
were of inestimable value because there
were no duplicates of them in any
known collection. She was poor. she
said, and she wanted to transfer the
collection of shells to the Smithsonian
Institution for a consideration which
she named-a pretty stable considera
ton. The institution did not send a
man up that way for the single pur-