davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-04-06

was having dinner the other day
in Manila, and the Spanish Count
who was waiting on him inquired
as to what kind of soup he pre-
ferred. Cody couldn't quite catch
on to the names, so finally said
20 bring on any old kind, don.
All soups look alike to me-
The elite among the fashionable
world are now discussing as to the
proper manner in which the foot
should be raised when walking.
If they had observed the Span
iards when Uncle Sam told them
to git off the western hemisphere.
no doubt they would have caught
on.
A drunken man in Chicago
made the startling announcement
that he saw a new moon. Perhaps
it was only star on the lapel of a
policeman s coat.
When we cease to respect and
cultivate friends. our existence or
departure will be forgotten as
quickly as the water becomes
tranquil after throwing in a small
pebble.
A pun nowadays has to be we'll
pointed to make an impression.
Quite a number of the legis-
lators were considerably aston
ished when they saw that the
editor of this paper had a full head
of hair. They presumed that all
bright men were bald-headed.
Just as soon as Bob Ingersoll
denied the existence of a hell the
other day, the people Of Texar-
kama. Ark. had little hell of
their own by hanging negros to
celebrate the event.
That reformer at Wichita. Kan,
by the name Of Tapp, should be
compelled to take the Kelley cure.
One of the theories he advocates
is that policemen should not only
stop swearing while making an
arrest, but should carry a bible
while on duty. Four to one that
the police will tap him over the
head before the week is out.
When a sprightly young bud of
seventy years gets married. report
usually has it that the bride Is
happy and contented, while the
relations become shocked.
We have been told that there is
an old maid at Hutchinson, MINI.
who has been making eyes at one
Of the editors Of that place. She
is so homely that even his lob
lets" in the moon wont look a
her. If she is looking for ho1
stuff, an editor is what she wants.
Humanity in general can neve:
be perfectly contented under pres
ent industrial conditions. Like
the stream that flows on with ap
parent tranquility, contains it's i'm
PROJECTIONS that must soon change
it's course.
A brick trust is contemplated
by Chicago capitalists. No doub
that they will be more successful
than the gentry handling the vel
low bricks.
The aristocracy of this state il
either on the wane in intellect, OF
else in it's dotage. We failed t.
see the usual galaxy of HIGH sill
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-04-06
CHURCH NOTICE.

Services in the Prison Chapel at 900 O'Clock
every Sunday morning. Protestant and
Catholic services every alternate Sunday.
Rev. S. j. Kennedy. and Rev. FIR. CORCORAN
chaplainS.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-04-06

Mr.. Henderson Of the prison
force has changed his residence
from North End St., to West
Laurel.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-04-06

Steward Eenner is somewhat
under the weather, although his
unusual energy keeps him still
about the scenes of his labors. Mir.
Schofeld has been assisting him
for the past few days.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-04-06
CARL VEDDER UND HIS DROUBLES.

OOuHCy jail vas not SnuSC albright.
Dem ideas obey vas schpliting
mem head NIT balm, und so [
dakes mein ben qvick und make
dem dribulashuns buplic. When
[ cooms py dot blaze, dot sun she
vas run oudt. Dot man NIT round
prass buttons he say holdings.
Mein eyes Obey vas looking shust
like Won dorpedo struck dem, und
obey see holdings.
Veil, shentlemans, [ dink [ vas
meinself vonce more, und dot OK
berience [ must say sumdings
apoudt. Dem dings What Carl
must stand py dot Jail would pc
hard Ply fader; und, perhaps, when
tay cooms py his ears, dere pillow
would send him away qvick, two
cupple dines.
Dem dings vot [ dells apoudt,
Ply und Ply, she vas to benefits bos-
derity, und fader he dakes Won
pack seat When We breach apoudt
bosderity.
l shtay Ply dot jail shust four
months, two weeks und Won tay.
Obey places meinself in Won
schmall fiddle hole no pigger dhen
What fader makes use uf When his
horse no two forty NIT ouder
horses go. Dot jail she vas tark,
fowl und lamp. Yah! she vas SO
fowl dot sumdimes [ dink she fly
away.
Ply dot blaze We get holdings to
read no tObaccOOs: nOamusements;
no talking; no trends, und cherry
one vas shust compelled to sit in
dot fiddle fowl blaze und dhink
und dhink. Dundee-vetter- noch-
ein-mall: two cupple dimes [ dink
dot Carl vas peter alreatty uf he
-, vas mitoudt prains.
Sumdime ago dere vas Won wise
weller Ply St. Paul, who vas living
in Won pig mansion und vas get
ting pig monies from dere state,
who cooms Ply Won conklueshun
dot id vas pad for dem county
Jail vellers to amuse themselves
NIT cards.
A fiddle While alder dhis he
make noder dink und COON by
dere conklushun dot dem vellers
vas pedder uff when Obey vas
locked CUP in dot fiddle five by
seven hole in de vail, und COON
PEELED to eat, schleep und keep dot
night pucket dere.
5 Ply Won uf dhose county jails
, dere vas Won good Samaritan. He
vas dere sheriff When dot St.
Paul weller cooms Ply him und un-
, fold dem blans, NIT beautiful
phrases und ouder dings from dere
> bible, dot sheriff shust say NO SO
> loud dot dere peepoles Ply dere
town vas dinking Won earthquake
t vas breaking CUP dere whole coun-
try, farms, cattle und eberydings.
Poorly soon alreatty, dot weller
he cooms pack und drys to reason
dot question NIT dot good Samari-
tan. Dere sheriff he shtand bat
und dells dot weller standings like
dhis:
''Mein kind und penoovolent
man, What vas dere use uf drying
to shtop dhose poys from blaying
cards und delling shtories here
When Obey have dot privilege Pc
l fore dhey COON py dhis blaze, und
t when obey 60 away? Vonce more:
| vas i'd not so dot dem organiza-
: shuns, What is known as societies
ply church peepoles, also intulge
in blaying cards und delling stor-
5 les, sum uf dem would even make
r dhose county jail poys plush NIT
} shame und boiler NIT pain?''
( Poys, When dot sheriff dells dot
weller dhose dings, he makes noder
dhink dot it vas train dime und
he must go pack by St. Paul.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-04-06

and resource of the most astute
newspaper reporter that ever
climbed telegraph pole to secure
an ION dit from observation
through a thlrd-story back win
dow. or Opportuned a notable for
an interview. He told his most
racy stories: smiled his most Sc
ductive smile: talked "Annexa-
ton" local scandal and foreign
policy by the hour, but failed to
elicit anything more interesting
than that, Mr.. - hadn't missed
a days work for steen years: and
Mr.. X had so and so many men
in his keeping: and Mr.. Y had
lost SO many pounds weight in SO
many days: and Mr.. T. had
'feshed up terrible this winter"
These startling announcements
were always accompanied with an
earnest request not to print any
thing that had been said"
And the reporters budding
hopes were nipped. Put he will
go again just the same: and if he
doesn't find things to write locals
about he will write locals about
the things he failed to find.
He is not here, for he has risen;
come and see the place where the
Lord lay
The vivid and forceful eloquence
of our chaplain, Rev. S. J. Ken
nedy last Sabbath brought the
scenes attending the resurrection
Of Christ very near to us all. The
choir rendered "Sanctus," from
Mozart's 18th Mass. and Il Am the
Resurrection by MacGranahan,
with great skill and beauty Of ex-
preston. The floral tribute to the
occasion seemed freighted with a
message of love and a fit symbol
of the purity Of the New Life.
Altogether the occasion was a
holy reminder of the victory over
Death (sin) which was made pos
sible to us by His death.
Each inmate is allowed to send
The MIRROR continuously to one
only address. When the request
is once made, the paper continues
to go forward each week, until the
prisoner is discharged, or we are
notified to stop. sending. When
making the request. care should
be taken to make the name and
address plain; also your name and
number. When the address is to
be changed, it should be so plain
ly stated in the request.
The beautiful little structure in
the rear Of the dollhouse, called a
lean-to, was removed yesterday
This was probable done in antici-
patton of the Spring rush Of bust
ness.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-04-06

PRISON OFFICIALS.
MANAGERS.
B. F. NELSON, President Minneapolis
EDWIN DUNN, EyOta
F. W.TEMPLE, Blue Earth City
A. WEISS, Duluth
DAVID BRONSON, saltwater
RESIDENT OFFICIALS.
HENRY WOLFER, Warden
T. w. ALEXANDER, Deputy Warden
GEO. BIXBY, Clerk
B. j. MERRILL, Physician
MISS MARY MCKINNEY. MatrOn
S. j. KENNEDY, Protestant Chaplain
CHARLES CORCORAN. Catholic Chaplain
PRISON AGENT.
F. A. WHITTIER, st. Paul.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-04-06

The Quarterly Meeting Of the
Pierian Chautauqua Circle will be
held Sunday the 9Th. Every eff
fort will be made to make it
thing to be enjoyed. 1t is safe to
say that it will be up to it's usual
high grade of excellence The
Mock Congress will take up the
investigation of the Peace Treaty
with Spain and it is hoped that
each will come "lOaded.'
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-04-06

The beautiful little structure in
the rear Of the dollhouse. called a
lean-to, was removed yesterday.
This was probable done in antici-
patton of the Spring rush Of bust
ness
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-04-06

A number of dead sharks have
been seen floating around the
Cuban coast near where that en-
balmed beef was thrown overheard,
but it is perhaps too late to intro
duce that fact as evidence before
the investigating committee. Den
yer Post.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-04-06

A fashion exchange says slim
women will be fashionable this
season. This announcement
should boom the anti-fat remedies
sufficiently to make them attrac-
tive to trust. -Denyer Post.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-04-06

A skunk broke up a Christian
science meeting in Georgia. The
leader was unable to convince his
followers that they only imagined
they smelt something. - Denver
Post.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-04-06

The Duke Of Orleans has dist1ib
uted two million Of his photo
graphs over France. They will
come very handy to the poor
people for lighting fires. - Elgin
I'll. Every Saturday.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-04-06

Austin must be a good hog
market. Eight blind hogs were
found in one day by the officials.
Prohibition does not successfully
prohibit in that city evidently
Waseca Journal.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-04-06

The reports show that nearly all
our soldiers in the Spanish war
were between nineteen and can.
teen.-Bede's Budget.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-04-06

A Pike county man dropped
dead while carrying an armful of
wood into the house. To be on
the safe side let your wife carry in
the wood. - Centralia MO. Fire
side Guard.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-04-06

Germany has decided to eat our
lemons, oranges and raisins with
out examinations but she promises
to be leery of our beef and pork
for long time to me.-Roch-
ester Bulletin.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1899-10-26
The following from an anonymous

The following from an anonymous
writer is applicable to many localities
and persons: "a man is what he
makes of himself. If he sits down by
the roadside or on the soft side of
dry goods box and waits for some one
to come along and offer him princely
salary and lifetime situation, he
generally sits there long time-so
Ions. in fact, that he concludes that
this is a hard world to make living
in. When he has worn his life out
sitting around in idleness and is about
ready to die he gets up and eXclaimS:
i never had chance You know
such men. You have little pity or
concern for them. So it is with vii
lage. If people sit around and wait
for some outsider to bring business to
town, they will wait long, long time
and when in after years the town has
about died for want of it's business
men and citizens, these same men
will say: Our town never had an
opportunity. You know of such
tOwnS---townS dead, because of lack
of energy and enterprise on the part of
it's citizens"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1899-10-26

Henry Natwick arrived in Centralia
Tuesday morning after an absence Of
about seven months on the road as
agent for the Northwestern Yeast
company of Chicago. Mr.. Natwick
covered territory in Northern, Mich
igan, Minnesota and Illinois. He re-
ports a pleasant and profitable
connection with the firm employing
him.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1899-10-26

G. J. Carman received his appoint
ment of deputy revenue collector for
the second collection district of Wis
cansin, Saturday. His district is
made up of the counties of Wood,
Portage. Marathon, Clark, Taylor,
Price, Lincoln and of the west towns
in Langlade. He will enter into the
discharge of his duties the first of
November. Mr.. Carman's many
friends rejoice with him IN the sue
cesSful outcome of his application.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1899-10-26

The State: There is some call for a
soldier to head the republican state
ticket next fall. Possibly this is
designed to direct attention to some
a>pirant not yet named. If not an
cucroachment upon the preserve of
any political promoter, the STATE
would suggest the eligibility of Hon.
Ed. 5. Minor. congressman from the
eighth district, whose .militaryservice
covered four years, in which he rose
from private to d first lieutenancy
in the I'd Wis. Cavalry.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1899-10-26

The Agricultural Experiment sta
ton has published information in
Bulletin No. IS, entitled THE II is
tory of a Tuberculous Herd Of Cows, :"
which should be in the hands OF every
person who keeps a cow or isinterested
in dairying. Ii relates the combined
experiment of a private dairyman in
Ozaukee county and of the Expert
ment station in the management of a
herd of cows afflicted with. tuberculO-
sis. Readers desiring this bulletin
can secure it, free of charge, by send
ing their request on a postal card to
Agricultural Experiment station,
Madison. Wis"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1899-10-26

DR.. Frank Pomainville, Grand
Rapids, Wis. Office over Cohen's
store. Telephone 216, residence 81.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1899-10-26

Milwaukee Journal: EX-Gov. Up
ham still beats around the bush when
asked regarding the prospect of his
again becoming candidate for gov
ernor. If asked now for definite
answer ] should say no." he says. II
am going to put my political bee in
the hive for the winter for fear the
Wisconsin winter will kill the poor
thing. What | may do ten months
from now | cannot say, time only will
Tell. At present | am very busy
making money and trying to take care
bothering with politics. But you can
never tell what will happen. | won't
say | may not be candidate when
he time comes to declare myself.
The birds feather their nests in the
spring, perhaps | may, but they never
build in the fall.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1899-10-26

WANTED--Boys and young men at
tralia. Wv
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1899-10-26

Dr.. Chas. Pomainville, dentist, office
over the j. A. Cohen store, Grand
Rapids.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1899-10-26

DR.. J. J. Looze, Grand Rapids, office
and residence in de Grandpre building,
No. Ill Center street. Telephone No.
246
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1899-10-26

DR.. J. c. Commit, dentist, Office over
Centralia Drug store, Centralia, Wis.
The Van Buren press., 1899-04-22
MouItIng Angels.

An amusing story in connection with
the great Bishop WilbeTforce was told
last evening by Dr.. Newman Hall when
speaking at a temperance meeting in the
city. He once asked the Bishop if il
Was true thst on one occasion. after ex-
suining s Sunday school, be said.
Now. children / have been asking you
= los Of questions. Just ask one. . a
lad promptly took the divine at his word
and put the following poser: .'P p
please, sir. w-v-Ehst use was Jacob 8
l-l-lziier 70 the angels IL they had
wings The Bishop Was said 10 have
been puzzled. and walked the school
rom pensiTely. until a bright idea
struck him. and wheeling around 70 the
boys. cried authoritatively. Now.
boys. you have heard the question.
Why don't you give il an answer
To his loriship's further surprise. one
Of the children had an answer ready, 70
the effect that the angels could not st
that time use their wings because they
were moulting. - DR.. Hall was care
ful to add that the Bishop denied being
the hero. or otherwise. of the story bat
the audience enjoyed il consumately. =
St. James Gazette.
The Van Buren press., 1899-04-22

TEERE is demand for reformation in
the matter Of expenditures By candidates
for Office in more states than one The
ShAekleford bill 10 prevent eorrup;
practices. introduced st the beginning
Of this session. Was the outcome Of pub
he sentiment against such evils. ard
now we are told that an effort is being
made 10 pass similar bill in the Illinois
legislature According 10 the Chicago
Inter Ocean. the the corrupt practice
set. introduced In the senate hy Senator
Hamilton. /. the measure which is
fxthsred by the Hamilton club. II Is
founded. As most Of the acts are. upon
TIE English law On the subject. and is
A. AuAlgsuztion o. provisions found in
tie laws Of Massachusetts,. Ohio. Mis-
soari. California. and some Of the other
states. It IS reizsfi o, an scs pre-
pared By Jos@ph Cnnuins. and intro
dnced q, one Of the former sessions. bat
drawn with reference 10 the necessities
o. political parties. 30 thar the same
sho1la nos b offensive TO the political
machinery. majority Of the states
Of tbs union have adopted similar meas
urss, 10 sPscizl opposition IS looked for
Ths bill prohibits candidates from ex-
p@1ding money. except for their own
persOasl expenses and through political
committees. and prohibits anti election
promises Of Of5ee or appointments
The biil limits the amount which NAV
- eorri5uted By any one person for
SsEpzign purposes II does not limit
sAs Aggregate amount which may Dc
s2eot BY 8 committee. bat does the
amount which may Be expended by .
ssndiaz.e. Little Rock Democrat.
The Van Buren press., 1899-04-22
Straining Patriotism.

Froz The s. Lozis Rspahlic
Those who do not condemn war on
humane and ethical grounds might be
constrained 70 withhold their approval
through business considerations. Men
who are carried away by thirst for mar
hal glory or territorial sggrandizemsnt
should have the pension list thrust be-
fore their eyes. II that does not deter
them. then are they indeed reckless Of
the future financial condition Of the
government.
The American people. az distance Of
thirty Eve years from the close Of the
civil war. are bearing sn annual tara
tion for paying pensions TO the survivors
Of that struggle amounting 70 over $40. =
Ooo, 90. There are more than / 60 600
names on the pension rolls and the total
paid out for pensions since the war
closed runs considerably over 81 .o00,
oo0. 600, an amount nearly equal 70 the
enormous national debt that existed st
the close Of the war between the states.
On top OF this civil war pension in
dsbtedness the country i confronted
with another growing out Of the wars
with Spain and The Filipinos. The pen.
sion buresu at Washington during the
early days Of the last week was ovsrrun
with applications for pensions fled By
soldiers who served il the war with
Spain These applications were from
usnhers Of the Thirty third and Thirty
fourth Michigan. the District Of COluu-
bis regiment. the Eighth Ohio, which
calls Itself The Presidents OEu. 80
and the Second Massachusetts,. The
proportion applying for pensions in the
regiments named is fully one fourth Of
their entire msubership-zni the rs-
t1rns are not jet all in. OalT two os
the regiments were ever under IRE.
The principal cause upon which they
are zzking passions : malaria
According 70 this showing IL wozla b
The Van Buren press., 1899-04-22
More Troops

1t is felt in Washington that the
president will Dc compelled shortly to
call for the IS, 900 volunteers authorized
BY the army reorganization law.
Political considerations deter the
president from taking immediate action,
but the situation is such that he cannot
long delay action.
Not only are additional troops needed
in the Phihppiees, but the volunteers
there now are clsmoring 70 BE- mustered
out Of the service. and as there Is no
law compelling them 10 remain, these
men must De replaced.
General Otis has been asked 70 report
on the question and it is likely that
definite action will De taken within a
fortnight.
The Van Buren press., 1899-04-22
ARE YOU GOING
Kansas City Next June?

The National BirnBial Conventions
of the Modern Woodmen of America
haye in the past decade taken rank
sn,onr the largest attended gather
fnrs in the country. This year' meet
ing in Kansas City. June6 10 lu, prom
ises in points of attendance and gen
ersI interest 10 surpass al others II
will be the irrl national convention
held in Kansas Cty's New Convention
Hall. which mss a capacity OF 2U,oV
people Among the noted spea keFs
expected to be present are Col. W N
] Brvsn Governor Theodore Roose-
yelt Of New York and Hon. Webster
Davis, Assistant Secretary OF the In
,erlor. Washington, D. c. Thursday
morning. June slh, will occur the
grand parade in which II is expected
there will be % to 100 Forester Teams
THE uniformed rank of the Order,l 80
brass bands and q, 900 marching men.
In the afternoon will be the Forester
Team and Band contests, and speak
ing by speakers of national reputation.
In the evening q grand Woodmen
ball. IN which 1000 couples will dance
in Convention Hall, having a floor
spsee Of au aere, TO the continuous
music by three Orchestras-
Tuesday evening, June 9Th and FIJI
day evening, June 9th, will be deyot-
sd TO speaking by some Of the most
noted orators in the country.
Kansas City will be decorated and
illuminated as during the Autumnal
Festival Season, when the Priests OF
Pzllas and karnivsl krewe pageant
ries have added 80 much 10 the re-
nown Of the Gate City