Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1899-04-04
POPULAR I..l's /. RIBS.
SOME THAT ARE FAIRLY HRlMFuL OF
A6suROiTv.

some THAT ARE FAIRLY ER!MFuL or
AHsuROITv.
Msuims Ostes Quoted and NJ Times
Advanced ~ Argument which Have
Neither wit Nor wisaea to Come
mend Theus--CsutPaaictor saytngs.
There IL mistaken notion abroad.
says writer in London Tit-Bits, that
proverbs are epitomes Of wisdom, the
concentrated experience Of generations
and that II quote one Of them in dis
cussion in TO advance an unanswerable
argument And yet what Is there to
recommend many Of them beyond their
Jingle! Take our familiar friend:
Early to Bed and Early 10 Rise. Makes
Man Healthy. Wealthy and Wise, =
Obviously, the main idea was 10 find
word 10 rhyme with rise and "wise'
was the unfortunate word chosen. And
now. trustful little boys are persuaded
to go to bed at unreasonahly early hours
in the hope Of becoming sort OF San
dow Rothschild- Solomon. though we
all know milkmen and market garden
ers who get mp ut a. IN. and are mel
Their rich nor clever. and members OF
parliament who 90 10 bed late and are,
il not clever. at least not poor and in.
firm. Since the invention Of gas and
electric light this ridiculous old provcrb
has outlived its original modicum Of
truth. and proves We must not venerate
proverbs on account CT their hoary an
tiquity.
The Early bird Catches the Worm. -
The mistake made here is that 10 assumes
we are all birds But some Of us are
worms. II we were not. what would
become Of the birds. And. therefore.
while the birds do well To be early. let
the worms be late the later the better
The Pitcher That Goes Oft to th Well
Is Broken st Last Note. IL does not say
..is broken first. but lis broken NJ
last" OF course. every pitcher. wheth-
or IL goes 10 the well OF stays on the
shelf. il broken nj last. and the only re-
suit Of this absurd proverb is to encour-
age lnzy folk 10 do M little work as pos
sihle and unnecessarily keep out Of
harms way
II You Want Thing Well Done. Do
IL Yourself. There's shocking bad ad-
vice with which 10 start youth on
iifes tourney II he wants button
well sewed on. he's 10 do il himself; u
he wants his hair well cut. he's 10 cut
| /, himself He must mend his own
chairs. shoe his own nag. darn his own
socks In short. from buying horse 10
backing his boots. he must do It him
| self Poor fellow
A Contented Mind Is Continual
Feast Can any one say what tina,
meansl Does IL mean that the owner
| continually fea-ts ON his contented mind
or that the contented mind IL contin.
ually feastingf Probably the latter, as
We sometimes hear that "a hungry
mans an angry man, and We all know
that satisfied appetite Is the source OF
coptentment Hence il Is not the con
tented mind which makes the feast. as
the silly proverb implies. but the con.
tinual feast which produces the con
tented mind
There's No Rule Without an Excep-
ton. This is not only proverb; IL j.
also n rule But obviously there is nc
exception 10 this rule. because If there
were a rule with an exception thi:
proberb would be- untrue But the prov
erb is n rule which has no exception.
which. a. Mr. Euclid would say. Is alb
surd Which was TO be shown.
Where Ignorance Is Bliss. It's Folly
| 20 Be Wise. For oracular stupidity
this proverb may be classcd with tbs
one about the pitcher Granting IL true
the difficulty IL to know where igno'
rance is bliss and Of course the prov
erb gives no assistance where II 1:
most needed Most people quote 1t AZ
Ignorance is bliss, in their blissfuI
ignorance. but il n proverb gives rise
TO error it is not only absurd; IL Is alsc
dangerous When people say
A Little Learning Is a Dangerou.
Thing-They make that n reason nO1
for learning more. but for learning less.
Love Ne. Love Ny boz. If / 70
Acquiring. and my ladyloye bids me low
her scented. dyspeptic poodle. which Il
no, necessary To her health and comfort
must not much more love her glass
eye and false teeth and hair. which are
Yet common sense revolts at the notion
and therefore assume that provers
which. logically treated. makes such
unreasonable demands on my affections
Is wrong and absurd
Seeing Is Believing. How can any re
iecting person repeat these wordsr Fol
very often we believe We see what real
Is we do not II conjurer We're to TAX,
this proverb as his motto. every one
would see its absnrdity A straight
stick half submerged in water look
crooked. Fortunately. another proverl
SAYS. Trust not to appearances Ant
this bring rs TO the exquisite absurdity
of popular proverbs which run in con
Trajectory pairs and support both side'
OF an argument Thus one proverb says
Look before you leap another
"who hesitates is lost Sometimes We
hear that Second thoughts are best
! at other times that Delays are danger
Gus. The desperate man relies or
Nothing venture. nothing have" thu
cautious man on Never venture out o.
your depth till You can swim. Th'
impatient matrimonial candidate be
lieves that "Happy's the wooing that;
not long adoing;" the tardy one tina
one may Marry in haste and repent a
leisure. And SO on nd infinituin. "Ab
sence makes the heart grow fonder =
"Out Of sight. out of mind. Its nevel
too late to mend "A fool at 40 vii
never be wise . TOO many cooks spoi
the broth There's safety in NUN
bers'' and 1.-TWO heads are better thar
one.
Therefore. let us examine our proven
bal coinage before we pass it into tn
moral currency.