davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05

THE DAYS END.

Boys, I've been out in the clearin'
Chopin up some second-growths
And, I swan, it's mighty cheerin,'
When the frost is interferin'
With yer SEEM and yer hearin'
And yer natchral feelin's, both,
TO hear yer sisters voice a-callin'I
Supper, pa: the boys Is all I'M!
Then drop my az and listen.
Maxim out I didn't hear,
For knew q voice like this'n,
Which fer years I've been a-missin',
And seem to catch the glisten
OF two girlish eyes-it's queer,
But yer ma lives in yer sister
AS she was when first kissed her.
You remember her as turnin'
Thirty odd, and all wore out:
But them days when we was burnin'
Walnut frewood and earnin'
This old farm jest sets me yearnin'
That the years could turn about
And yer ma would call me to her
From the days when first knew her.
Seems to me didn't treat her
With the care should have took:
Such faithful wife, and heater
Than a hummin' bird, and sweeter-
God forgive me! II meet her
There, she'll wear a lovin' look
And forgive me-she'll be calm:
Come in, pa, the night ia fallin'r
Chicago Record.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
Guarding Against Twin Germs.

was walking through the outskirts of his
parish one evening, when he saw one of his
parishioners very busy withdrawing his cot
tage. Pleased at these somewhat novel
signs of cleanliness, he called out: t@Well,
Jones, I see you are making your house nice
and smart" With a mysterious air Jones,
who had recently taken the cottage, de-
to the hedge which separated the garden
from the road. ''That's not 'xactly the rea-
son why I'm doing of this ere job" he
whispered, s'but the last two couples as
lived in this ere cottage 'ad twins; so says
to my missus, I'll take an whtewash the
place, so as there mayn't be no infection. Ye
see, sir, as 'ow we got ten children already"
-Cornhill Magazine.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05

whip, HAD broken almost hmm lately
into q canter.
All! How meet cried Irene, look
ing back.
stop, tell you! Draw up the
reins!" Herr Won Kreuser was running
as fast as he could after her. ''Stop.
Irene! The horse was going at an
easy canter, but Irene's seat grew less
and less secure, while to Herr Won
Kreuser's horror she seemed unable
even to attempt to check the animal
"Who are those misera BILE looking
people in deep mourning?" said
young man to his companion 'sThey
could not look more wretched If they
had lost all the relatives they pos
sessed."
The Kreuaers. You know them,
don't your" ..... N
mo. Do I? Oh, yes, they had some.
thing to do with the tragedy at tho
Leyden's." ~.
Everything to do with it, seeing
that but for him poor Irene would now
be alive and still probably defying her
mother
II never heard exactly what hap
pened," said the first speaker. Il was
away from home at the time. He was
a great friend of Irene's, wasn't hep"
SYes. Both the Kreusers made a
good deal of her, and she certainly was
extremely pretty. Baroness Leyden
never was at all nice with her-some
people said she was jealous of her.
beauty, but that would have been too
unnatural"
"Yet one has heard of such cases."
However that may have been, she
could not understand that Irene was
no longer baby, and was always fret
ting her by forbidding her this and
that. Then she went to the Kreusers
for sympathy, and they spoilt her. As
to the last affair, Baroness Leyden ab-
solutely forbade Irene to mount a
horse, and she had set her heart on it
with the usual result. Baroness Ley
den happaned to be in Munich one day
down came Kreuser, of course en-.
tirely by chance grand opportunity
| not to be lost. Irene did the forbidden
thing and mounted horse, which for
some reason started off before Kreuser
! intended. The animal doesn't seem to
have gone beyond canter, but Irene
could neither stop it nor keep her seat:
and after swaying backward and for.
ward a few moments she fell heavily to
the ground. suppose she diaoca ted
her neck. When Kreuser reached her
she was lying fiat on her back, both
arms stretched out, quite dead. Oh, it
was terrible thing!"
''Who broke the news to Baroness
Leyden?' said the other, after q
pause.
"Kreuser did Some one asked him
how he could, and he said that after
what had happened nothing else sig
nifed."
'Well, he looks as though he had
gone through an experience. I never
saw such fixed expression of melan.
choly in my life.''
'"They are both dreadfully cut up.
You saw the way they hurried off tho
moment the train stopped. They can t
bear meeting anyone. There-do you
see them below there, by the river ?
suppose they think they will have
that walk to themselves, and so doubt.
less they will, since it isswarming wit0
addefS, and doesn't lead anywhere"
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
PRIMITIVE JUSTICE.
How Judgment Was Melted Out to
Offenders of the Law in
Early Wisconsin.

Even when the Americans were nomi.
nally in control of Wisconsin, easy-go.
ing French methods prevailed, and the
patriar chal rule governed the com.
munities. Intricacies of court ma
chinery had no part in the dispensing
of justice-or dispensing with justice,
e1ther-at Green Bay or Prairie du
Chen.
Charles Reaume, pompous old gen.
tlCmen, exercised the functions of judge
at Green Bay. He had never heard OF
Blackstone, but he knew how to make
itigants respect the rulings of the
court.
Two Frenchmen, having quarrelled
about a trivial matter, came 10 Judge
Reaume, who, after hearing what each
had to say, said:
"You are both wrong. YOU" pointing
to the complainant, ''bring me one load
of hay, and you," indicating the person
complained of, "bring me one load OF
wood. The case is settled"
Col. Boilvin, who administered JUS
tice at Prairie du Chen, was reported
as owning volume of statutes, but
no one ever heard of his consulting the
book; he had his own way of dispensing
the law. A man named Fry, being sus-
pected of having stolen calf, was ar.
rested.
''Here, sir" said the constable, ''is
Fry"
FRY, you great rascal" eaid the
judge, what for you steal the calf?"
II didn't steal it," retorted Fry.
"You lie, you rascal" shouted the
Judge, shaking his fist at the prisoner.
"Take him to jail" Then turning to his
bibulously inclined companions, he re-
marked: "Come, gentlemen, let us take
leetle something's ''Leading Events
of Wisconsin History"
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
SusDiciOn.

De white folks tells me dat should
Work hahd, an be mo- jealous.
Is dey talkin' fob my good
Or is dey simply jealous?
WASHINGTON Star.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
i secret Of success.

One Of the most helpful qualities for
the winning Of success is that ability
which enables one to take philosoph-
ically what one can get if one cannot
get what one wants. That is, to be
.contented with second best if the best
IS unobtaina BILE. IN. Y. Tribune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
A Way of Escape.

Flooding Paul-Say, Weary, what's
yer reasons fer wantin' ter be cremated
when yez die?
Weary Walker-Yer know that Satan
alters finds some work fer idle hands
ter do.-N. Y. journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
Beware of Ointnlents for Catarrh
That Contain Mercury,

as mercury will surely destroy the sense Of
smell and completely derange the whole sys-
tenn when entering it through the mucous
surfaces. Such articles should never be
used except on prescriptions from reputable
physicians, as the damage they will do is
often ten fold to the good you can possibly
derive from them. Halls Catarrh Cure,
manufactured by F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo,
O., contains no mercury, and is taken inter.
nally, acting directly upon the blood and
mucous surfaces of the system. In buying
Halls Catarrh Cure be sure you get the gen
Toledo, Ohio, by F. J. Cheney & 20. Testi-
monials free.
Sold by Druggists, price 75c per bottle.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05

The Erratic Weather.
Oh, blame it not with language bold;
Let courage still be strong.
No matter if It's hot or cold,
IT'S sure to change ere long.
Washington Star.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
Gossip.

''Yeung Mr.. Van Dabbs says that he
is welded to his art
eyes," answered Miss Cayenne; "but
judging from his pictures, shouldn't
say they were living very happily
Washirgton Star.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
Hard Luck.

Philanthropic Matron-It was pow
erty that drove you to drink, was it
not, my poor man?
Tuffold Knutt-No, ma'am. Hits
mostly poverty wot keeps me FIN
drinkin', ma'am.-Chicago Tribune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
Satisfactory: Explanation.

American Heiress-All is over be-
tween US, sir. heard Gen. Knowall
say you were no count. "~..
; Count Dollarseek-Ah. but you hat
made meestake. Gen. Knowall not saw
no count, he say was no account.
American Heiress-Oh! am yours.
MY. Weekly.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
Dome.tic Repartee,

She (indignantly)-Now, husband,
you know I never can get in q word.
He-No, but get plenty Of them on.
Detroit Free Press. III
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
The Came.

Askins-What has caused the change
in Maj. Stiff's appearance, of late? He
used to look like one born to command.
Grimshaw-He is married now, and
has made the discovery that he wasn't
born for any such purpose.--Puck.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
The WriEgler Thing.

He tried to get rid Of the frog in hi
throat"
BY keeping his larynx with liquor afioat:
Now frogs" do not vex him, but oft he
computes =.
The number and size of the Snakes in hi
boots"
L. A. W. Bulletin
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
Complimentary.

Miss Jackson-Dese am nah new
photographs, Mistah johnson. Don't
yo' fink dey makes me out fright?
Mr.. johnson (effusively)-No,i indeed,
don't, Miss jackson! Dey makes yo'
out positively good-looking, and OATS
q fact!-Puck.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
A Marked Change.

Assistant-Here is testimonial
which might be worth publishing.
Patent Medicine Man-What is it?
Assistant (reads)-"Before taking
your valuable specific I was afflicted
with weak lungs, but to-day am a po-
litical orator.'-N. Y. Truth.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
Sympathy.


Hasn't size past?" inquired the gos-
sipy man.
EYES," answered the sensational ac-
trees, "but it isn't of much use to her.
Somehow she doesn't seem able to get
any of it into the newspapers. Wash
irgton Star.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
A LIVING WITNESS.
Mrs. Hoffman Describes How She
Wrote to Mrs. Pinkham for
Advice, and Is Now Well.

DEAR Mrs. PINKHAM:-Before using
your Vegetable Compound I was a
great sufferer. I have been sick for
months, was troubled with severe pain
in both sides of abdomen, sore feeling
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
souvenirs Of Travel.

II haven't seen your daughter since
her return from Europe"
t'No, she has been SO busy; she had
q lot of foreign labels that she had to
paste on her trunks. - Chicago Record.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
Saved by His Callinl

Hardupp-Hello, Space, old boy, will
you indorse note for me?
. Phil Space-Excuse me, but my jour
nalistic training would never let me
have anything to do with paper written
on both sides.-N. Y. Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
A Bird OF n Librarian.

Regular Frequenter lat public H.
brary)-I want to get history of the
Black Hawk war, and can't find it in
the catalogue. Have you such book?
Attendant think so. Look under
the head of neutrality-suspicious.
Tribune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
Her View of II.

'Well," said the old lady, "the wars over,
Johns got his pension, the mortgage is done
paid off the mule; an now, eff we could jest
have another war we could git the house
painted an put new door on the barn!"-
Atlanta Constitution.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
Els Wife's Gift

He beamed in joyful ecstasy
Der hundred-dollar gift,
Till from his purse he found there'd been
A hundred-dollar Gift"
-Tv11Oo
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
Mister Snow.

Mister Snow, he fall en- fall
De Worl' sing out, Good night
I mighty skace er kiver,
So I'll take dat sheet er white!
Atlanta Constitution.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
A Field Day for Both Parties.

She-People talk of Sunday being a
day of rest, and yet look at the way
the poor women have to work to get
their husbands to 60 to church.
Yes; and yet look at the way the
poor husbands have to work to get out
Of going-Brookly Life. e
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
TOO sick TOT ehool.

There was q very tlsboy wading up
TO the ankles. in muddy water one after
noon, when . passing gentleman said
to him: why aren'tsyou Al school,.
young man?'
"Cos I've got the whooping cough, -
he explained. Cincinnati Commercial
Gazette.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
The Poets Songs.

The poet sang Of woodland ways.
Sweet singing birds and such as that;
The poets wife then sold these lays,
And bought stuffed bird for her hat.
Chicago Record
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
Green Fields and Pastures New.

Green Fields and Pastures New.
Mrs. Gotham-The doctor says I
must go to the country for my health.
Mr.. Gotham (busily)-All right, my
dear. Which would you rather visit.
your aunt in Brooklyn, or my aunt in
Jersey City?-N. Y. Weekly.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
DO You Know Hint

Do Won. Know Hint
You meet q man at every turn,
His place Is everywhere;
You seek the sQuietude Of home,
Behold you find him there.
You simply cannot lose him
In parlor, street or hall, '
In each mirror you will see
The man who knows it all.
Chicago Daily News. g..
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05

It is an evidence of greatness to listen
to the advice and experience of Others A
fool is always Observation-Disclosures Globe
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
To q Girl.

Give me the mitten, dear; shall not care
Woe is the doom Of love-begin it.;
Give me the mitten, sorrow be my share,
But leave your little hand within it.
Chicago Record.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
NOVEMBER
May Bring Leprosy to This Country.

May Bring LepFOsy to This Country.
It is pointed out that the United States
soldiers in Hawaii may contractleprosy there,
and bring it to this country when they
return. While leprosy is much to be dreaded,
there are a thousand times as many victims
to stomach disorders and blood diseases, but
there is cure for them in Hostetter's Stom-
ach Bitters, Other common ailments that
the Bitters are a specific for are malaria; fe-
yer and ague. Sold at all drug stores.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
A Mean Insinuatio1

The Rake Uncle said he'd do the
right thing by me in his will.
The Roaster-Too bad, old maul-.-N,
Z. Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
Inevitable.

The constant change in bicycles
Is easy of solution,
For every time the wheels go round
There Is a revolution. s'~
IN. Y. Journal,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05

'1s Frau Schmidt reconciled yet to
the loss of her first husband?''
"Oh, yes, she is, but her second hus-
band is irreconcilable over it!"-Heitre
Welt
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
He. Had Had One.

II thought he had been advised to go
to Las Vegas for the mud Baths
"Quite rights, but they found it was
all mistake: He didn't need ore"
"Why not?' s7a1., ...s..,..- =.
HE had just been through hot and
close political campaign."- Chicago
Post. aa f...-... ..
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
Business and Pleasure.

Business and Pleasure.
& Old Mar-What ye cryin' fer, Tom
my?
Tommy / want ter build a snow
house. ~ n
Old Man-Won't yer ma let ye?
i Tommy--Yes; but she wants me ter
take de snow of de sidewalk ter build
It wid.-Judge.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
NEEDED NO LESSONS,

Susie O'shanter-I'm going to take
the music course. want to play tie
piano awfully.
Jenny Jacket-Why, dear, you do
that now.-Illustrated American.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05

Homesteads and pFe-empsions can BE-
taken in the Milk River Valley and other
parts of the state Within sight and hearing
Of daily trains ON the Great Northern Rail-
way Renters and others should avail
themselves Of this chance to get q footing
and become independent For printed
matter and other information, address
Moses Folsom, Immigration Agent g. NJ
Ry., ST. Paul, Mimi.
Some stin SeDi-CIvilised-
There is still demand for about ., 900 900
paper collars in the United States each year.
The paper collar is the connecting link be-
tween coIlariess barbarism and decently at
tired observation-disclosures Transcript
Why They Quarreled.-The Onion Eater
MY, but he just took my breath away"
The Brute-"Dear mel You'd never take
him for a strong MANN. Y Journal.
To Cure . Cold In One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets All
druggists refund money If it fails to cure &c.
The average man prides himself on the
possessions his neighbor can't Afford
Washington Qa-) Democrat
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05

The Girl in Love.
She's timfd and believes in peace,
She shrinks from wars alarms;
Yet, womanlike, she'll never cease
To love the call to arms.
T,,1~
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05

"Well, Tom, you might have returned
the compliment by opening the door
for mel"
my dear, your compliments are too
precious to return."-Ally Sloper.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05
SEND 81 GENTS

SeUSU % OeW -
Cut this ad. out and send
to us and 10 will send
this Roberts Rannine
Mill By freight, @. O. b
subject to examination.
Examine It ct the freight
depot and If found per.
footly satisfactory and
Amma1 e. FonnSn0 HGfl1s
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05

| on the step of the house door.
II found a whip" she cried, tri-
umphantly. "Just look at the handle:
Isn't it pretty?" A little boy was at
the horses heads, holding the reins
and grinning. you, Paul? Where's
your father?" she added, as her glance
| fell on the child.
Johann has gone to Feldafing," said
Herr Won Kreuser. ''but Paul knew
where the saddles and brides were
kept. So did I, for the matter of that
and we have managed very well be-
tween us. Now, Paul, stand just in
front of Braun-that's right-don't
you let him stir, or you shall not have
something have in my pocket for you
And now, Goldylocks-how nice you
lookout your hand on the saddle
so-now the other on my shoulder, and
let me put my hand under your foot.
up. You understand? One
two-three! that's it. Capital. Why,
you're as light as feather! is the
stirrup right? No? can alter it in .
second. There lis that comforta BILE p
ooh, PERFECTLY" said the girl, in a
voice trembling with excitement.
'sTake the reins like this you see
The whip you will hardly want, but it
makes an effect. Now, wait till am
up, and then--No! Wait, Goldylocks!
Pull in the reins!- Stop the
i horse!- Irene! Good heavens! She'll
be off. =
The horse, perhaps touched by the
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-01-05

Nood,e p1IIs cure tsliousness. indigestion.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1899-06-01
Reading Character in Tongue.

Glossomancie is new science" intro
dueed by Miss Erbere No, of Paris, con-
sisting of reading the character by the
form and size of tongue. The guiding
principles are as follows: If the tongue Is
long it is an indication of rankness; if it
is short, of dissimulation; if 1t is broad,
of expansiveness; if narrow, of concen-
tration. When the tongue is both long
and large it implies that the possessor is
great gossip, frank to disagreetbleness,
and thoughtless. If the tongue be long
and narrow, it's owner is only half frank,
thinking as much as is uttered, but not
always uttering as much as is thought.
If the tongue be short and broad, there
is promise of plenty of gossip-and false
hoods; it talks great deal. but says
little of what is really thought. 1t short
and narrow it indicates deep cunning and
lying; impentrability and great prudence.
This tongle belongs to those persons al
ways ready to make mistakes, but eager
to inspire confidence.
So, then, not the physician alone is to
be guided by the tongue, but before you
become intimate with any Que, ask him
or her to put out his or her tongue. that
you may be certain whether they are to
be trusted or not.
The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1899-06-01
FIRE SHAKE UP 2
Captains Are Wondering What
VIII Be Done With Them
--Reasons for Charges.

The captains in the Fire Department
are at present interested in the rumor of
a proposed shake-up. Some of the cap
companies to which they are now de-
tailed, while others have become so ac-
customed to their quarters that they
hate to leave them. The captains who
desire change are those whose easy
manners have won for them the friend-
ship of the members of their companies
This friendship has grown to intimacy
and the firemen have taken advantage
of their superior officers, and on sew
eral occasions have failed to properly
obey orders. They have trieds too, to
shirk as much of their work as possible
When the news of the proposed shake
up first got out the members of the de-
partment We're thoroughly surprised
They since have anxiously awaited the
meeting when the change will be made.
The Commissioners do not seem to take
kindly to making charges and it is more
than possible that the department will
remain as it is for the present. One of
the Commissioners said this morning.
when questioned as to the proposed
shake-up:-
I'VE have not reached that order OF
business as yet, but several changes will
be made within a very short time
The Commissioner would not commit
himself, however, as to the nature of the
proposed change.
You will have to wait until it is done. :"
he said