davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
A Naval n.

Captain McB--, n canny Scot, was
once In command Of Il troopship re-.
turning from India. On board he had
as passengers three ladies. all wives Of
officers In her majesty's service.
Now. It fell out that the cabin al
lotted tn them was fitted up to econ
MEDIATE four, and consequently It con
tanned four wash basins, II Of which
was far larger than the other three.
For the right to use this especial
basin each lady put forth her claim.
citing her husbands position In the
army. But the husbands, unfortunate.
~. all proved to be Of equal rank, 50
to clinch the matter the trio bearded
the captain In his cahln,
I'VE will leave 1t entirely to you.
captain" they said. "and abide by your
decision"
Captain McB--- c%ogitated duly and
then declared solemnly, with the faint.
est twinkle In his gray eyes:
"Leddies. as 1t Ia no. a matter O. rank,
think 1t wull be that the Oldest
amang ye sud have the beegest bowl"
With murmured thanks they fled out
again, but that basin was never used
during the voyage.-Spare Moments.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
Clean Barber shops.

There IL not the slightest doubt that
the average barber shop IL a means Of
disseminating many affections which Il
little attention to asepsis could easily
prevent. Many forms Of alopecta are
due to parasitic organisms which are
probably acquired most frequently
through the unclean interventlons OF
the barber. Some ready method Of dis.
injecting his tools Of trade should be
devised and its use thoroughly en-.
forced. The towels should invariably
be boiled after use, Instead OF the per-
functory dnmpening and ironing which
Ia commonly employed. n such meas
ures were taken and insisted on, under
suitable penalty, t~ichophytosis and
kindred ailments would become rare
indeed and our dermatologlsts would
miss many Of the most annoying and
persistent affections which they are
now compelled to reat.-lnternati0nal
Journal Of Surgery.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
Peril In stamp Boxes.

A girl | know Ia betrothed to a
young officer In the navy. and as hls
birthday IN near at hand she has
bought Il pretty little stamp box in sill.
yer to give to him. but she Is not going
to give Ii to him. after NIL.
"Daughter." her father snid to her.
'if YOU wish that young man well.
never give him Il stamp box. You
couldn't give him anything more dan.
gerors. A man would better carry
dynamite than stamps. One OF the
bravest officers IN the navy has been
for 20 years paying the penalty OF his
folly In carrying stamps. Everybody
knows who he is. Years ago he re-
ceived an order from the department
which d%ispleased him very much. He
knew to whom he owed 1t, and he sat
himself down that same night ana eX.
pressed himself frankly OF paper to the
nan he blamed for the obnoxious Or
der. He had n stamp. and so he sent
the letter off In that nights mail. II
he hadn't had n stamp. he would not
have mailed the letter till morning, and
II he had kept It till morning he'd nev'
er have sent It at all and he would not
have paid the penalty Of 'sassing' the
department.
Don't send the young man Il stamp
box. The officer I've been telling you
about says that his experience taught
him never to carry stamps. but the
trouble about the wisdom experience
brings is that 1t usually m too late
to be Of any use. Don't encourage the
young man to carry stamps. 1t isn't
safe."-Washington Post.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
A strange Mn rr.agc cu.tom.

1t was IN old idea that Il husband,
whose wife nt her marriage was clo:a'
Ell only In q sheet. or IN the most ele'
mentary linen garment. was not In any
way liable for the debts previously
contracted by hcr. Our parish regis
tiers and local traditions give us ample
Illustrations Of this quaint idea. At
Chiltern All saints, wiltshire, IL the
fonowing entry: John Brldmore and
Anne Selwood were married October
18th. TIA. the aforesaid Anne Selwood
was married In her smock. without any
clothes or headgier on" Similar cases
occurred ut Gorton Green IN l73S. At
Ashton.under.I.yne In It'll, and at OF
ley IN lS0S.
The latest example Of which the
present writer knows VI from Lin
colnshire. The register Of Gedney has
this commonplace entry: Dec. 2nd.
1912, David Wilkinson, full ago, bnche.
lor, laborour. OF Gedney.' u "Susnn
Farran, full age, widow. Of Gedncy."
Local tradition supplements this brief
account by relating that the bride was
dressed In a sheet, stitched about her,
with holes cut for the passage Of her
bare arms. lore and Legend OF the
English Church"
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
A SPIDERS Musical Ear.

During the entire summer until late
In the autumn a large black hunting
spider CLycosa) dwelt In my plano.
When | played andante movements
softly. she would onl out on the music
rack and seem to listen. Her palpi
would vlbrate with almost lnc0nceiva.
Bile rapldity, while every now and then
she would lift her anterior pair Of legs
and wave them to and fro and up and
down. Just as SOC however, as I
commenced a march or galop she
would take to her heels and flee away
to her den somewhere In the interior
Of the piano, where she would snlk IN.
til l. entlced her forth with "Trau.
merel' or Iinndel's "Largo."-Dr.
Wier's Dawn of Reason.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
Eugen. Field. Arithmetic,

The first book which Eugene Field
had printed was "The Tribune Prim.
err" published in Denver in 1882. 1t
was composed Of short lessons In DIFF.
ferent lines of study. As there are
said to be not more than seven or eight
copies Of the book now In existence
readers may be glad to see two speci.
men paragraphs from the lesson in
mental arithmetic:"
III you have Five Cucumbers and
eat Three, what will you have lefty
Two. No; you are wrong. You will
have more than that. You will have
Cole enough to double you up In a
Bow Knot for Six Hours. You may
60 to the foot Of the Glass.
III a Horse weighing 1000 pounds
can Haul four tons Of Pig Iron. hsw
many seasons will n Front Gate paint.
cd Blue carry a young Woman on One
Side and a young Man or the Otherw
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
A Thrifty DNmmel,

A spirit OF thrift was shown by n
young woman who entered a car with
sundry boxes and bundles. Another
young person came In at the next sta
ton and recognized her.
"Oh. my, who Ia to he married"
"Nobody, and me last Of all"
"Then what IRE the flowers for"
"a funeral, Our teacher died, and
w girls put together to get this
wreath"
"Poor thing! DID she know she was
going TO die"
~ don't think So" Then, after u
pause. she added cheerfully, But she
does by this time" all being said In a
most unconscious way.
"IIow much was the wreath"
1.-TWO dollars and sixty cents. !
only had two twenty-five"
"Did you pay thu difference"
Dear. no. made him give me 1t
for ~, 40 ! saved my own quarter
put In, but I'm going to make the girls
think | paid two sixty"
swell. that's right; the wear and
tear Ia worth a quarter surely."-Ob.
server,
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
CLOCKS OF BYGoNE DAYS.
C0rloaltles In tine Museum of . Clock
#A Making village. u

In the town OF Sclimmherg In the
Black Forest district OF Wurttemherg.
Germany, where one Of the chief In.
dustries Is clocl. making, there has
recently been esMh, shed an interest.
Ing museum of tilmepieces. The col
lection displays the gradual develop
ment III the making or clocks for many
centuries.
Among the curiosites are many OF
great historical value. There Is IN
alarm clock constructed In the year
1850 for the use Of travellers. In form
II resembles a lantern and the Interior
Ia designed to hold a lighted candle.
The candle Ia slowly pushed forward
BY q spring, which also controls the
mechanism OF the clock. A little pair
Of shears clip the wick Of the candle
automatically every minute to regulate
Its light, The lantern Is lnclosed with
movable slides, so that the sleeper is
not at first disturbed by the presence
Of light.
The alarm Ia set by inserting a peg
IN the second dial plate. When the
required hour arrives. the alarm Is
sounded and at the same time the
movable slides fall, flooding the room
with light.
Among the curiosities Ia a Japanese
saw clock. The clock itself produces
the motive power by descending a
saw formed strip Of metal. the teeth Of
which operate the wheel Of the clock.
work. In another Japanese clock the
hand Ia attached to a weight. which
sinks once III "a hours. The time Is In.
dicated by n hand on the perpendicular
scale.-Chicago Times-H Herald.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
Inyc.tiratinx Grandpa.

A grandfather, well known In the
English house OF commons. was chat.
ting amicably with his little grand.
daughter. who was snugly ensc0nced
on his knee.
"What makes your hair 20 white,
grandpaT the little miss queried.
"r am very old, my dear; ! was In
the ark" replied his lordshlp. with q
painful disregard Of the truth.
"Oh, you are Noah"
"No.'
Are you Shem, then"
mo, | an not Shem."
care you Ham"
mo"
'Then," said the little one, who was
fast nearing the limit Of her Biblical
knowledge, you must DO Japhet."
A negative reply was given to this
query also, for the old gentleman In.
wardly wondered what the outcome
would be.
"But, grandpa, II you are not Noah
or Shem or Ham or Japhet, you must
DO a beast. New England Home
MagAxlne.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
Broncho Bill,s Denomination.

During the first years Of his career
as an actor Will had in II Of his
theatrical companies a w%esterner
named Broncho Bill. There were In.
dams In the troupe, and a certain mis-.
sionary had Joined the aggregation to
look after the morals OF the Indians.
Thinking that Broncho Bill would bear
q little looking after also, the good
man secured a seat by his side at the
dinner table and remarked pleasantly:
"This is Mr.. Broncho Bill, Ii It notw
"Yaas."
Where were you born?
NEAR Kit Billiards. mill. on Big
Pigeon" "
Religious parents. I SUPPOSE"
"Yaas."
"What Is your denomination"
my whatY
"Your denomination"
20 ali = yaas. Smith Wesson."-
EAST Of the Scouts" by Helen Cody
Wetmore.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
A pnrtrnIt.

There Ia a ,,rcullar portrait IN Wash.
lngtOn which has created much into..
Est among those who know OF Its en-.
%lstence. Its popularity Is that every
year II has been changed 10 show the
changes which time would have made
In the Original, The portrait II by a
Washington artist and IL that OF his
wife and was painted many years ng0
when she was u young bride. A. few
yeNrs after the portrait was painted
the young wife died. ana so great was
the grief of the artist that he deter.
mined to keep her likeness with him
Ill the time, ana to do so he decided
that year by year he would change the
portrait 80 as to make II grow old with
him.
Every year. on the anniversary OF
his wedding day. the artist locked HIN.
self In his studio and changed the lines
Of the face OF the portrait, adding what
he thought would make tho difference
Of one yenr, There have been many
anniversaries or that marriage ,lny
md consequently many changes In the
portrait. To-day the picture IL that Of
nm old woman, the hair turned gray.
the face wrlnklrd and pale, but still
beneath the marks OF time, az made
by the brush Of the artist, can he seen
the early beauty or the bride and the
attractlveness Of the young woman
Washington Letter.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
Close 70 Nature.

The West Virginia m%ountaineer lives
very close to nature, and viewed from
many standpoints the relation Ii char.
~acterized by pleasing amenities. Juicy
berries refresh him along the road;
nuts drop into his path; Sang (gln.
seng), which makes n Of his sources
Of revenue. reveals itself to his eye A.
he follows the cows to pasture; a cool
brook springs up to quench his thirst
when weary Of following the plow;
pine knots are always within reach to
make light as well as warmth; mud
and stones easily combine In his hand
to shape a daub chimney and a trough
dug out Of IN old tree furnishes a re.
ceptacle that ID as good for dough at
n end as for a baby at the other
Popular Science Monthly.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
cou,du.. r.s. Good Money.

Stalking about money" sud 4 drum
mer, II had II curious experience sew
eral years ago with n sheet OF 81 bills.
l had gone to bank 70 set so!ac
cash for Il t'lr and found the paying
teller In TIN aGN at cutting NpMrt a lot
Of now c%nlyenc.f lust received from
Washington. II was In sheets OF 500
or 20 notes zach, and | prevailed upon
him to let mo have one Just rs II was.
Next evening l was In Il cafe In the
hrst town on my route, and when !
went to pay my check i pulled out my
new money and asked for a pair Of
shears. The proprietor stared ut mo
In amazement. What Ia thntT no
RskedY
money, cash, noodle, long green ]
replied. Give me the scissors, and III
cut you or a piece TO remember me
by,
"'Not much he said firmly. You'll
have to work that Off on somebody
else
"Then | tried to explain, but he
wouldn't be convinced, and 'pon my
word | believe he would have sent for
= policeman II | hadn't happened to
have some silver In my pocket. 1t
was the same everywhere else, The
stuff was universally pronounced coun-
terfeit, and, to tell the truth, It did look
spurious seen In that form. | was
finally obliged to 20 to my room and
cut the bills apart before | could use
them Anew Orleans Times Democrat.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
A Victim Of bad sc.manship.

The dean Of Bristol In "phases Of My
Life" relates the following,
Prom time to time | met at dinner
q great friend Of Lord Cages. Admiral
Boyle. Invariably when we met this
admiral OF the old school would come
to me and say, do you. sir, read the
account Of st. Paul's shipwreckY
"'Yes. 1t IL tho appointed lesson
"'Well. all | car say, az an old sail.
or, Is that II any captain In her majes.
TVS service handled his vessel az the
captain OF that ship did he would have
been court martialed next day and dis.
missed the service"
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
4 sight Mi.und.rst.ndin..

"Smithkins," said the employer, "you
may take a month off,"
"Oh. SIR" replied the clerk as soon
M no could command his voice, ut Ia
20 good Of you TO suggest II! have
felt the need Of q rest for some time,
but have hesitated to ask for 1t, know
Ing how busy we are. But It will do
NC no end Of good, and | thank you
most heartily for your consideration"
"Smithkins," said tho employer. fare
you crazyW
"Why, no, sir. Didn't you say
might take q month Off"
"Certalnly that Ia what said. This
Ia the first Of tho month, while last
months calendar remains owe your
desk. Take last month off and keep
up to date. That's what meant"
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
SHE RAISED THEM.
a Georgia Widows Recipe Far
Bringing Up Her Sons.

During a visit to the army camp In
Savannah General Joseph Wheeler was
entertained by a party Of northern lei
Ut the De Soto. When, In the good hu.
NOR Of after dinner cigars, n Of the
men said laughingly:
Glow Ia It, general, that the sleepy
farms Of the south produce such whirl.
wind fighters In such small packages?"
well, gentlemen" said the little gen.
eral, putting at a large mans cigar. II
believe I'll have to give you the answer
an old cracker woman nee gave me
when I asked her n similar question.
Not many years ago l had occasion to
make a saddle journey through the
pine barrens Of Georgia, where most
everybody Ia a Cracker and mighty
shiftless. One day. however, I rode
into a little community that showed
such signs Of thrift as to be quite out
of keeping with the general character
OF the barrens. ! do assure you. gen.
tlemen. rode up to a cabin where q
gaunt old woman stood In the doorway,
and asked her who owned these little
farms that were so well kept.
""That farm on the left belongs to
my son Jabcz.' said she, and the next
one to my boy Zalim, and the next to
my lad Jason. and the next Is my boy
Potiphar's place, and
"'Hold on, sister. said I. How did
you manage to raise such a fine lot Of
boys way of here In the woodsY
"'Waal. stranger she answered, 4
am q wildly woman. and all I had to
raise 'em OF al prayer and hickory,
but ! raised 'em powerful frequent.'"-
Philadelphia Post.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
BALLOONS In a storm.

Mr.. Carl Il. Myers, the aeronaut, In
discussing the question Of aerial navi.
cation, points out one great advantage
Of the ballon owe the aeroplane. The
latter cannot stop or hover In the air
and II caught In a storm may become
helpless.
The balloon. on the other hand, while
It cannot 60 against the wind. Is safe.
eve In a tempest, provided no effort Is
made to drive 1t In opposition to the
air currents. Even In a high wind the
balloon seems to the aeronaut to be be.
Gained.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
Delights Of Knowledge.

=" suppose you get a great deal Of
pleasure out Of scientific pursuits"
said the young woman.
II do" was the grave rejoinder.
When q man In a scientist he can 20
about the country as much as he
pleases shaking hands with people
and reading papers before societies
without being accused Of having ambi.
tons to be q presidential candidate."-
Washington Star.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
An uneomfort.bl. Answer.

In one of Sir George Colley's letters
10 says; "Lord Lytton had a good
story about poor Lord Leitrim, who,
shortly before his murder, talking with
q countryman about some cases OF
landlord shooting, asked, why don't
the rascals shoot mel All, thin, yer
homer said the man, ITS Just this
what's everybody's business IL no
b0dy's h%nsinesss"
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
All In the Game,

"Here ID a terrible thing" comment.
cd tho young thing, looking up from
the paper. "A young man attacked
bis wife with q poker and was only
stopped by the screams OF tho woman,
which attracted a passerby, who sum
moned the police"
"Ah, n poker game" replied tho ma,
tor. "The gentleman passed tho lady
saw him and called ~ ittshurg
Chronicle.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
wiling "a Quality.

A few days ago u recruit was taken
to DO sworn In by tho magistrate. Nv
erythlng was going on sWimmlngly
till tho magistrate asked tho mar the
following question, "Haye you ever
been In prison"
At this the man looked startled, but,
quickly recovering himself. he blurted
out. "No, sir, ! have never been In jail,
but ! don't mind doing n few days II
you think II necessary London Tele'
graph.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
Divtst0n 0f Labor.

Close Fisted ParVnt--I tell you, my
aon. II IN 4 great dcal harder 10 spend
money with good judgment than II ~
10 make II.
The Young Man mot NO close fistedl
We'll, father. lot mo take half tho
burden of your hands, You make II,
and III spend II, Chicago Tribune,
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
TO tho Heroes OF the
Ills Idea oft,

"Don't you fear tho strong arm OF
the law" asked tho friend,
= mot always" answered the pugilist
who was engaged In preparations for
q meeting, "There's no doubt about
the laws having a strong arm. but It's
like the rest OF us, II spends q great
deal Of time talking things over when
II might BIO reaching for some ones
solar plexus."- Washington Star
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
Haunted.

Little Virginia-M mamma says you
i've In 4 haunted house,
Little Wlnnie--The Idea! We don't
either, Nobody ever heard OF 4 ghost
being Inside Ut our house,
Little yivginia- Yes, but lts always
haunted by 4 crowd Of collectors, -chl,
cage News,
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01

4 Russian remedy for insomnia n to
have q dog sleep In the room. and pref.
eFably In the same bed. II may BIO
through q sense OF companionship. or
one OF security, or II may act sugges'
lively q any rate II In said at times
70 prove OF value when other means
fAil.-Public Health Journal,
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01

A neat little brush Ia attached to the
tall of the gl0wworm, and " IL used
10 keep clean that part OF the insect
from which the light CLEANS 10 a. to
make 1t more distinctly visible,
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01

III luck In, In aiae cases out OF ten,
the result Of saying pleasure arst and
duty second, instead at duty Rrst and
Measure seeond,-uT, ~, Munger,
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
Only omc,ai Use of "Rebel."

In the public square Of Santa re Ia
a soldiers memorial monument which
Is said to be the only one In tho United
States that bears the word "rebel" as
applied to the soldiers Of the C0nfed.
crate army. The inscription reads:
To the Heroes OF the
Federal Army
Who Fell ut tho Battle OF valverds,
Fought With tho Rebels
Fob. III, 1892,
On the other side a second inscrlp'
ton pays q similar tribute 70 the sol
oilers Of tho Federal army who fell In
q fight with the "rebels" at Canon del
Apache and La Glorleta pass March
%. 1862. -Chicago News.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
smavt WiIIie,

" hate to SEQ q man part his halls In
the middle; II In 70 etseminate."
"0h, |, don't know" retorted Willie
Walnut = manly man always takes
4 wopsa's part" Kansas City Star
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
gawvtssy III ~,

gaWvtesY 0t the Game,
"ro what may ! attribute the honoE
Of this callY'
~ pair OF sees."~Glsvelaad Plain
Dealer.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01

It's a long life, but devotion to- the true interests and
prosperity of the American people has won for it new
friends as the years rolled by and the original mem
bers of its family passed to their reward, and these adj
mirers are loyal and steadfast today, with faith in it's
teachings and confidence in the information which it
brings to their homes and fresides. AS a natural con
sequence it enjoys in it's old age all the vitality and
vigor of it's youth, strengthened and ripened by the ex
periences of over half a century. 1t has lived on it's
merits, and on the cordial support Of progressive
Americans. 1t is
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-09-01
Just Think Of It!
Goth Of these Popsrs for $500 a Year

Send all subscriptions to THE GAZETTE
The Washburn leader. [volume] (Washburn, McLean County, N.D.) 1890-1986, 1899-06-10
SQUARE Your Binder.

There are many farmers in harvest time
vhO start their binders and the machines
work fOr while, and the machine refuses
to WORK. The farmer in such q starts
to town and brings out the agent, who
when he has looked the binder over and
can find nothing tells the farmer tits worn
out. Chen the farmer gOes to town, buys
a new machipe and gives his note iu pay
'ment--whsn he might have used his old
machine still. Every farmer should take
his binder apart from. one to two weeks
before harvest time, inspsct every wearing
part and clean the boxes. When there is a
box worn ont put in new. one and see.
that. all bolts ar. in place and frightened.
When tho machine has been put up, tAks q
40 uars and square the machine up, using
the rid that rnns over, the hull wheel be-
tween the eleyat,,s boards, No matter how
old the machine may be, by having all
worn ont. parts replaced and the machine
sq Jared yuo save money and time. One
OF my neighbors had amachins that would
not work, and was about TO buy 9 new one.
whom / went over and squared II mp !
found IL two inches half out Of true. He
hitchsd his horses up and the machine
worked nicely. He saved $3.50, and IN the.
fall gave mo "a for my trouble. By know
.ng inst whst ~ wrong you win save money
~ sry time keta Farmer.