New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-03-18
MAJOR G4RnLNER'S WOES.

Major Asa Bird Gardeners administration or
the District Attorneys office has not been SUCH
rs to commend him to tn favor and respect OF
thoughtful citizens. Eut however grOtesque
and dangerous his misuse Of his authority may
be- we think no person can read his pathetic
appeal to the Mayor concerning his Office ac-
commOdations without being touched and CON
WINGED that even the worst Of DistrctAttOrneys
should be freed from the horrors which sur
round him and tcfrify persons who have oc-
caSlon 10 call at his Office.
Mr. Gardiner * not satisfied with his quar-
tiers. Who can blame him? Their walls are
not even hard finished Think Of it, n polished
gentleman having 10 sit in room with sand
finished plaster, Then. too. his own little office
is above the Board Of Health room. to which
Commissioner Murphy brings for examination
the bacilll lie scrapcs Off the elevated railroad
columns. and in which he imprisons that mys
tcriOus aroma or miasma or something that
oozcs from the asphalt pavement while he IS
trying to fiud ont IL there isn't something IN
IT," These things come up through the register
and are so frightu that Mr.. Osborne says ne
doesn't sec how Major Gardiner stands ii, ana
Major Gardiner himself. though brave as at
least two lions on many a battlclicd-for full
list see records Of the Civil War-admits that
Mr. Murphy's experiments make him III. More
over NE finds no refuge elsewhere. The judges
of General Sessions use his library. and natu?-
ally the District Attorney does not just At pres
ent find any balm in their society But these
are not his only trials. lie is on the same A0or
with the Coroner. whose "oflicc is open day and
night" though Just what the office being open
at night has 10 do with the case j. not ap-
parent. But the Coroner associates with dead
people. and IS naturally not pleasant neigh
Dor for person OF high caste like Mr.. Gardiner.
Then. too the Civil Service Commission is on
The next floor. and. rs Major Gardiner SAYS,
zone day last year had two thousand dirty IA
borers packed IN the Railways" Yc gods. think
Of Asa Bird Gardiner having 10 be in the same
hulldlng with dirty lahorcrs". They'll be ask
ing the Mayor To be polite 10 a rcformcr next.
Nor + that The sum OF Mr. GARDENERS trials
His county detectives are obliged 10 stand in
The corridor Poor fellows they ought 10 have
upholstered chairs and sofas If they have
nothing to ait or lie Oh they may walk abroad
! in sheer desperation and detect something I'M
pleasant for Mr. Mcintyre and damaging 10
! Mr.. Gardeners plans for dsposing OF an neon
ycnient murder case And, worst Of all IN adj
dtion TO this. "delcatcly nurtured ladies' arc
| Obliged I'm order 10 reach my office 20 pass be-
| tween Ines Of children with barred arms wait
! ing 10 be vaccinatcl" Think Of II, Dcllcatply
nurturcd ladies going to visit the dclica tey nur-
| turcd Gardiner having to SEQ the barred arms Of
/ children, Shocking, Exposing chilIren's bare
arms TO ladies'. How they must blush, Shame
or Tie Board Of Health. No wonder Mr. Gar
diner cxclams. 1T is really distressing. Mr.
Mayor" How could II fail 10 be distressing 10
a gallant soldier TO whom a womans name Is
sacred? We should rs soon expect him to 60
I into court and wan'only mako n public attack
on the virtue ~ woman - 10 stand by con
| ecntlng 10 such shameless showing If arms
Certainly, let the District Attorney have room