Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1899-03-09

| senSltlVe-dotl Is IL you consult Con-
rad Schmitdeil.
Quirk lost no time in sending
stamps to the publisher of Popper's S
Gazette for n canvassing outfit, which
arrived in the course of few DAYS.
Once possessed of his implements of
navigation, he determined to embark
upon his sea of trouble at once.
'It is the crucible that purities the
gold," thought he, land it will be
through hardship that L am cured of
my maladies of disposition.
The sample copy of the Gazette pre-
sented very handsome appearance,
and, as Quirk gazed upon it, he con-
graduated himself on his choice
Once started on his tour, the nervous
gentleman reconnoitred for a suitable
street on which to operate. A long
avenue, lined with houses occupied by
people of the middle-class, attracted
his attention, and there it was that he
began the actual work.
The first house was q plain brick
building, and under ordinary condi-
tions he would not have given it a
second thought, if, indeed, it received
a first one. Now, however, it loomed
up appalling, and Quirk pictured
dark, gloomy rooms for the imprison-
ment of agents.
He remained in front of the house
for at least ten minutes before he
raised sufficient courage to climb the
steps and ring the bell. His hands
were shaking, and he toyed nervously
with the paper which he carried. At
the last minute his small amount of
nerve failed him and he fed ig-
ANONYMOUSLY, but not in time, for the
lady of the house opened the door just
as he reached the street.
"You're nice one," said she, cup
to the tricks of boy, bringing people
to the door by ringing the belll'' And
she disappeared.
ga lucky escape" said Quirk
"she is a regular tartar. I'm glad
didn't stay, but she inferred that l
: rang the bell to bring her to the door.
How inconsiderate some people are!'
Fearing another encounter witt, the
lady of the first house he skipped
four, and clenching his fists determin-
edly, mounted the stairs before q COM
Portable frame dwelling.
This time he stood his ground, and
: waited for whoever OF whatever should
appear. 1t proved to be very lady
like person, and when she stood on
the threshold and looked inauiring
at Quirk, he remained speechless
for moment. Suddenly it dawned
? upon him that people don't ring door
5 bells and stand on steps unless they
have an errand.
= MADAM, said he, trying,,hard not
, to stammer, 81 represent Peppers
s Gazette" He took a sidelong glimpse
= at the paper to assure himself that he
D had rightly named it. ''I should be
: pleased to enter your subscription at
e the rate of one dollar year. [ say |
should be pleas ed to enter -"
e EQuirk's nervousness was almost the
8 cause Of his undoing. The lady
pursed her lips in that distant manner
u so exasperating to sensitive person.
I; Besides, you see, she was lady.
s 81 don't care for Peppers Gazette, u
said she, quietly, yet with plainly
u discernible sneering infection, "and
n L never purchase anything from
j. agents"
I Quirk stood bolt upright, his hands
s at his sides, his face pale, awaiting
her further utterance. Nothing more
e came, however, and the lady retired,
d closing the door, and, to Quirk's
If great chagrin, locking it as we'll
Ii That was the unkindest cut of ALL
n But the thing had to be done
IS Quirk knocked bravely at the door O!
d the next house. No one responding
% he pounded harder. Soon steps were
heard in the hall, and George fount
+, himself confronting frowsy-lookine
man who wore no collar, and who's,
q hair suggested very recent sojourr
q in bed. The mans eyes were abou
,, half closed. and he assumed a frowr
u deep and intense.
"What the deuce do you wantP'
@ said he.
:, "I represent Peppers Gazette, 6
monthly magazine" And Quirk hes
u itatingly advanced the sample.
It "You blasted AGENT almos
r. screamed the sleepy man. 'I'd lik,
u TO hang your whole tribel Waking
10 fellow up to show him your con
% founded Peppers Gazette, OF som,
r darn thing"
sr 81 am sorry to have disturbed you,
s, replied Mr. Quirk. "I say am sorr,
to have disturbed YOU"
y "Well, heard you. Look here
g. our number is four-thirty-four. Mari
it down, and don't you never come
r. here with your papers. If you do, b,
y jinksl I'll lay you out"
'Sir," said Quirk, "you are NJ
II gentleman.
e 81 don't care for what you say.
IS thank my stars I'm not peddler"