Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1899-12-03
POVERTY AND FOOD.
IDLE REPORTER PHILOSOPHERS
ON THESE SUGGESTIVE SUBJECTS.
no PLAINSp0KEN PkUPERS,
All of Them Were Rich Before the
War or Have Hut Recently suf-
fe~cd Reverscs-Excuscs Tor IN
diligence.
diligence.

NV folks had money before the war
BY the war / mean the real war-the
night with those pesky Yankees. This
has been long time ago-some forty
years. more or loss-but we still hug the
precious recollection Of those palmy Gays
10 our breasts and travel on our ante
bellum prosperity. When we come across
people who are wealthy IN this day ana
generation we hunt up the old-time re-
cords about their fathers and grand
fathers, and content ourselves by saying
that their ancestors were ''po' white
folks or niger traders And yet TINS
philosophy affords Us mighty httie con-
ISOLATION when We walk up FRANKLIN
street OF a sunday evening and see these
same plain people wearing the hnest Oh
clothes and smoking good cigars. whiist
we are run down at the heel and nave the
bottoms Of our pants looking fraycd out
like the edges of table napkins. To ten
the truth. We are downright poor, with
out any romantic features attached 10
our condition. but somehow or other rs
SO tarnatiOn hard TO own up without
making excuses. Why, dog my buttons
] don't believe 1 ever did see real
hard-presscd, poverty stricken rooster
who would own right up aud say he
was poor. It's always that his "circum-
stances are temporarily reduced or that
he has recently suffered revcrses, or
that he IS compelled to retrench for a
short while in order 10 meet certain con-
templated business Investments
And even II we men folks oid nave the
COURAGE TO cOnfess-whiCh we nave NOT
there's the wimmcn folks always putting
on airs and turning W their noses ana
apolOglzing for the turkey hash and tell
Ing how they lived before the war. and al
that. You can't make woman lover
her colors where pride 80 cODcerned-In
fact you can't make a woman do any
thing she doesn't want TO %.
Now there's that old lady up at my
house-she with the fierce Roman nose
and the thin. compressed lips. She >
proud as Lucfer and forever seeking 10
cloak our indulgence with excuses. II
visitors come In and squint when they
see the rag carpet in our parlOr she rs
quick TO note their surprise, and heads
them off by saying: THAT rag carpet is
the curse OF my life. My husband Will
insist on having it because IL reminds
him OF the good old days when he was
q child at cucumber Hali'-the ante
bellum mansion Of his iorefathers in
Hanover l have begged him over and
over to lei me get an imported Brussels,
but he sticks out against what he calls
'new-fangled IDEAS" Now. the truth is,
j would give dollar just TO stick my
foot once into the flowers and garlands
OF a good hrst-class velvet carpet.
This apology she delivers with the air
OF a queen. and even the aristocracy feel,
after hearing it. that they are being
elevated by the presence Of such folks
as we are.
Then. when the guests pass through
the hall and smell Kerosene oil oil over
the house, she explains that my eyes are
too weak TO use gas and that she Is
greatly Inundated by being compelled TO
use an article which smacks so much Of
plebeianism. Incidentally, she describes
the superb chandeliers which were
brought from Paris by her great-grand-
father and adorned their old mansion
before the war-always before the war.
People who hear this explanation feel
that they are rubbing noses with one Of
the most ancient, respected. and blue
blooded families In the Commonwealth, /
but they also congratulate themselves
that they haven't got relatives whose
eyes can't stand gas and electric lights
At dinner, when the cabbage and bacon
are brought In and the warty Irish potato
comes forth without the embellishments
of fantastic sauces, she again inveighs
against me and my simple tastes, saying
imagine the old-time dishes are health
Ter than recent culinary inventions.
whereas, as "a matter of fact, l kick
against plain grub as much as any white
man that ever lived. An explanation of
the causes forcing us TO use cabbage
Irish potatoes, and delicacies of that char
acter generally involves many re-
Prospective illusions 10 the superb BAN
quets her father used 70 have at Pop
corn Manse" the three-acTe estate the
loquacious old codger owned in Nottoway
county in the halcyon days Immediately
succeeding the Mexican war. These OBJ
servatiOns appear 10 entertain our guests,
but from the anxious way they lick their
chops | conclude that they find such
"reminiscences very indigestlble. and total
ly unsatisfactory as hunger cure.
When We have toast bread baked In
molasses for dessert, this proud, naughty,
and uncompTomising woman, before ma
jesticaliy serving it-mind you, serving
1t, not helping TO it-eXplains that it is
n most unpleasant dish to her, but that
she finds II the healthiest food she can
give the children.
IF ! allow them to eat ice-cream, or
Charlotte Russo. or Roman punch. or
sherbets. or angel-food cake, or jellics,
or marmaiades. they invariably set sick"
says she, whereas as a matter of fact,
the poor little brats are sick for the
very need OF these articles. With re-
marks Of this hifalutlon, bombastic
character. she darts back TO ante-bellum
days and censures me for being so unlike
my father who was $50 she says great
hand on fancy desserts and clamored