davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1899-03-26
JOKING.
a Hotel Clerks Attempt to BE Genial To-
ward an English Tourist.
From n, New ORLEANS Tim,s. Dsmorrat.

From the NsW ORLEANS TimrS. DsmorrGt.
Talk about getting tired Of the sunny South
gag" said the cigar stand man in an uptown
hotel. 1t was nothing.at all to one l had to
put up with while the cold wave was waving.
V see. there's very little room back here. and |
have to keep the cash register on top of the
steam radiator, While the blizzard:lasted the
heat was on all the time. day and night. and
the register naturally got hot.
so l proceeded to dish out specially warmed
specie for change. and with that my troubles
began. A customer would, pick up a coin, look
SURPRISED m and then ,Tink the 10th other eye. na =,
course | was expected to make come playful
remark about having n counterfeiting plant
After the lest had been handled to and fro
some 900 or 700 tiIhes It began 70 get slightly
new. and when failed to srin:h" set me 1di""w%nn
as a STUPID ass, At last | got desperate and
concluded ia anticipate the blow. A bic Eng
he'd spring the Joke. |, got ahead of him.
rictad, iRst i mnds s shisi, sa H. IGm 7 6, hip /"
" 'Ah-part of your-er-prolts l prssume?"
10, says l.. determined to make. him see
the point or perish in the ATTEMPT. 1 made 1t
stamped II out on my little machine. How
He frowned and pushed it quickly away.
i beg PARDON he said. but really III hnye.to
ask you to give me something else. ] couldn't
be a party To anything like that. doncher-
II tried TO make him understand that It was
simply n Joke, for | didn't know how soon he
might GO 10 the police about 1t. But. pshsw! 1t
was a hopeless Job.
" / cawn't see anything comic in the plain
statement that one is engaged in counterfeit
-. Neither can L. ] replied, and that's eN-
l"tly why ] made it, That happened to be tho
actual truth, but il gave u final twist to the sit
uation that foored the Englishnnn completely:
Then you consider IL comic 10 get OIL
something comic because IL isn't actually comic
IN tho Least. he repeated in great bswiiderment.
Pom me word saws he, this American humor
ia too deep for me-
Il restrained myself and allowed him to es-
cape alive. but I'm going to have the gore OF the
next man that starts a continuous performance
Joke In this hotsi!'
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1899-03-26
Collapse in the Toy balloon Trade.
From the Gdulois.
From ne chicaao Da,,v Nsus.

From ne ChicdGo Dd'ip NewS.
A'man with fifteen or eighteen toy balloons
Juggling at their strings boarded a Lake street
- train. Finding a seat in the smoker. he
turned to one side and Gnzed out CT the vim
dow. Next to him was a diEniAed old gentle
man who read a pa 2cr and smoked. The train
was going west and the balloon man seemed
to he figuring out the profits from the sales OF
his wares.
The dignined Old gentleman took the cigar
from his mouth. and. holding it between his
"ngrrs. 0pened.his paper wide with both hands.
i rmn q, , Ise n TTe Tl me . %tEar ha and IG a iimp
mass of thin rubber settled SLOWLY to the floor.
pun, pun Two more balloons followed There
were only q few Las.engIrs IN me car ana no
loon man kept on gazing out 81 the window.
\ fourth touched the cigar and exploded. A
nth went the SAM" way, and still the hanoGG
man VA, not aware of the fact, while the old
gentleman was buried in the depths of his
paper with his arms outstrrtched and his cigar
held below his fingers.
cred what was going on and were shaking with
rerrcs-ed l%aughicr. Another balloon touched
III" lighted cigar, eNllOhed and settled to tho
Moor. Then the ,peddlcr's ,reyerle, was, brought
10 an Hhruut end when a hhlt-intated balloon
,ettl"d down on the window sill Just before his
ewes. Ito spranG from his seat and looked
balloons left, Th" old gentleman had replace.
his cigar M his mouth entirely unconscious ct
the daamge he had done, The balloon man
tcr-d at II marvellous rate. He examined tho
withcrsd balloons and found n small hole IN
each OF them. but how II got there was be-
yond his ken. lie mlStruStod the old gentle
man who sat | ext to MIN. hut. the latter wa
very iiguilcl and :" surprised a. tn" others
misfortune that 1t was impossible 10 Tx the
blame there.
At the next station the balloon man left tbs
train. evidently believing that the entire lot
OF passengers had conspired against him.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1899-03-26
CHINOOK JIRGOS WON.
4 Lawyer Who Made His PIen In n Tongue
the jury Could Understand.
tie Tacoma Scw

Every old timer in Tacoma. or. in fact. in the
State OF Washington. either remembers or had
q personal acquaintance with Attorney Frank
Clark. CLARK has been dead some eight years,
but during a conversation between attorneys
his name came up followed by the narrative OF
this incident in his career:
Twelve years ago. said he lawyer telling
the story. CLARK had as a client a man arrested
on the charge OF cutting timber on Govern
ment land. The United States was represent
ed by two Federal attorneys. brought from a
distance. either Portland or San Francisco. il
into court there followed behind them a porter
who unloaded upon the table fronting the
under his arm. The Jury was composed en-
case, the imported lawyers dslved deep into
the tones OF law before them and cited deci-
sion after decision hearing on the case on trial;
Then using language, one-half OF the words OF
which were too extensive for the jurv's under
standing, they launched into their argument,
arose. picked up one OF his law books. and,
Without opening the volume. threw Il aside.
The next hoos shared the same fate. IT The he
then SQUARED himself to tho jury.
"'Nesika tillicnms he commenced. and then
in a flow Of Chinook IarGon went on 10 plead
his clients cause. There was not = man on
the Jury hut what understood eyerv sentiment
runGe OF the imported attorneys had been ut
terly lost on them.
I'm vivid Chinook Clark painted u word Uic-
ture OF the trials and trihulations Of the s%elrler
in the wlldS of a Washington forest. OF the
desperate effort necessary to maintain wife
and babies. And because his client had
hauled n wagon load Of cordwood to the village
store to trade for food he had been arrested.
and his family deprived Of hiS support.
There was possibly not one in the urv box
hut what had at some time been in tho uOsi-
ton Clark uictured. Every sympathy in them
Was aroused. Tears trickled down their
rugged cheeks as Cark.S Chinook flowed on,
"Ihe lawyers from afar were awake 10 the
disadvaltaCe they were being placed under.
An objection was entered TO Clark'- use Of
Chinook OF any other language which the rr-
posing counsel could not understand.
" Your Honor, swered clark, the lury
here is to decide this case. The eminent gem
tlemen for the prosecution have used language
so grandiloquent that not one Of tho Jury has
understood its purrort. | an. speaking 10
them in the simple talk Of the Western from
tiersmun. understood nike by both Indian
and white man who traverse and haze been
instrumental in the Development If this North
west. NV language, call Il largon IL YOU wish.
explains TO the lury. and II | mistake not. also.
your Honor. the situation. | have but a few
words more to say, and. with the Courts uer-
mission, will continue in Chinook
The permission. was granted and Clark
client acquitted without the Jury leaving their
seats"
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1899-03-26
Five shots at n Gas Meter, sI7.

From the CiHCnndi Enquirer
Billy KlinElcr. one Of the transfer clerks
in the County Auditor, Office. was the victim
OF an amusing series Of circumstances tho
other day. He lives on Vine Street Hill. and a
policeman lives next door, Just as he was
about TO leave for his work in the morning the
p%oIiceman's wife sent for Kim and showed INN
a note from her husband. brought by a mes
senger boy. stating that he had forgotten his
reyolvcr. and requesting her TO tax" the car
tridges out and give it to tn" 10y TO bring 10
him. She told klinGler that she was unahl" to
remove the cartridges. and asked him To please
do so. He tried. but also failed. Finally. he took
the revolver down to the cellar and fired the
five shots at the foundation wall, and then. re-
turning up stairs. gave the revolver to the BOY.
As klinglrr was going, downstairs hEain no
was met by an excited man. VINO WHY eN-
claimed that there had been gas "AnIoslolS IN
the cellar. The man owned thn shoe tore on
the ground floor OF the building, ana shlI tllitt
his store was full III gas. An nyeStlgatl0n d'Nel-
oprd that Klingler had fred all llvc bullets mo
the gas meter on the wall. ana thnt gas was
leaking at a dangerous rate. threatening 70 as
nhyxiate everybody in the house. Plumbers
we're sent for and the leaks were finally st2lnen'
hut the next day q gas Dll caule w hIinsieI'
The amount OF the Dill was $l7.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1899-03-26

able resistance and therefore act on lemons.
II bodies could, offer no resistance to pure
spirits, an angel teven q fallen angel might
throw the universe of its base and destroy all
living creatures
This induction explains the sense OF pain
that may arise from the resistance OF bodies. A
spirit inclosed by a body OF fire. which resists
all it's Efforts to escape this instrument OF the
punitive justice OF God, suffers through its cs-
sentlal faculty OF perceiving physical affection
OF n painful nature. and in proportion to its de-
merits as the, divine omnipotence brings that
obtain a conception OF the manner in which
physical. true. real fire produces excruciating
anguish and poignant. grief and woe, wholly
distinct from the intellectual consideration OF
the objective, cause. The, sanction Of law re-
wards the subjects who obey 1t and Furnishes
It's violators. A law without sanction Is no law
at all. Heaven is the reward OF the saints.
while the reprobatns share in the miserics of
the fallen angels. i'll whose rebellion they have
partlcipated."
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22
Death of a Pioneer.

Another old pioneer William Elliott,
has been removed from our midst,
oldest perhaps in regard to age in
Waterville township, good citizen,
highly esteemed by all he met and
dealt with. Born at Innlskillin, county
Vermana, Ireland, June 5, 1872.
Married Martha Lvtle on Sept. 5, 1S+l.
Leaving his parent home he came to
the United States and located In Han
cock county, Ohio, in 1913. About 2
years later moved to Waterville town.
ship, Lucas county, Ohio, where he has
resided up to the time of his death,
December IA, 1899. he was the father
of eleven children, with but one death,
and that by accident. He leaves wife
and ten children to mourn the loss OF a
loving husband and father who attained
the grand age of 81 years, months
and 8 days.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22

The pastors union OF Toledo Is mal,-
lug an effort TO close the Sunday the
atCes, evidently believing their closing
Wiii increase the attendance at church.
a lsvge city contains many people who
wish 10 be entertained iu manner that
Ia amusing and II they seek that amuse-
ment ia we'll conducted theatre they
are thus avoiding many other forms of
amusement open TO all classes of n
great city which are far more Injurious
60 the morals Of the people. The the
afro 10 not the worst place open where
peOpie may congregate on Sunday night,
and IL closed should not alone be made
% feel the maiestic power Of the law
and the III will Of those who desire that
the world should be viewed through
0ne certain OF le Of glasses.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22
Death OF Mrs. Margaret Emsch

Mrs. Margaret Emsch died on Thurs.
day morning, Dec. ID, 1899, aged sS
years, 5 months, and 16 days.
Mrs. Emsch was the widow OF Niche o.
las Emsch, who was in business in Per-
rysburg for many years, and died about
Is years ago.
She was apparently in good health
and had just concluded hearty break
fast when the death messenger came.
Mrs. Emsch had made her home viii
her daughter, Mrs. Daniel Klingler,
and death is supposed to have been
caused by apoplexy.
The funeral services were held on
Sunday at p. m. ut the Evangelical
church by Rev. Shisler, and the re-
mains were inferred in Ft. Meigs
cemetery.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22
Four Tons Catch.

In speaking of the excellent fishing
in the river one of Maumee's leading
journals states that crew OF fishermen
from that place made catch of about
1900 pounds OF carp in one night. 1t
might be we'll for Maumee fishermen to
cross to the Perrysburg side of the
river, when their busy season is over,
aud get a few pointers about how to
catch fish. One night last week An
drew Horn and his crew caught some
thing over four tens, and fishing was
not considered as being unusually
good. either.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22

The next Republican National Con-
veution will be held in Philadelphis.
on January Is. This was decided last
week by the National Republicau Com
mittee. The vote on first ballot stood,
Phtladelphia IL, Chicago 90, New York
q, ST. Louis 8. On second ballot the
city OF Brotheriy Love won by two
majority. Tho oOmWittee decided to
make no change IN the basis OF repre-
'aentation, rs 1t was believed no such
change could be made without approval
of the National Convention.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22

The next great celebration in New
York is likely to be held in September,
1909, and it will be the three hundredth
anniversary of the discovery of the
island of Manhattan by Henry Hudson.
The two hundredth anniversary in
September, 1909, was modeStly cele-
brated by dinner, held under the au-
spices of the New York Historical 30
ciety. There is already talk that the
anniversary may be celebrated by q
worlds fair.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22
MR.. FLINN's OBSERVATIONS.

ibid ye notice." said Mr.. Film, as
he leaned over his shovel while work.
ing on the Belt line track, "did ye
notice how Thin Toledo fellers always
claim iv'rything that's great? About
the only thing they don't claim to own
is Niag'ry Falls, and they do even say
they furnish the watber that makes
the falls, Av coorse Toledo is warum
bit OF IL town, sure, but divil bit do /
behave 1t was the first spot OF mud to
stuck its nose out Of the wather and say
how de- TO MIR. Nn,h, whin he wuz
a.sailin' along wild his ould mud scow
loaded wild moonKeys and rineocereses
the time the Lord gave the wurrld u
duckin'. Have We an-uy smokin' to-
baccy, dunno? Tanks.
"Uh, now there's that new glass
wur-rks down at Rassfurd. That's In
Wood county, amt IL? Sure It's. But
thin Toledo fellers say it belongs to
thin and there goin' to have the Leg
islater legislate it into Lucas county.
That's foine way to move town.
Faith, an I'm most afraid to go to sleep
III Perrysburg FUR fear they'll haul me
over into Toledo before moruin' like
they did Turkey Fut rock.
"Are ye listnin'?
NOV, the other day the brave Gin'ral
Lawton-God bless 'um-(he wuz an
Irishman, he wuz) got killed over in
Mannilie. Phat do thin Toledo fellers
do but say that he wuz theirs; that he
wuz Toledo by. Taint so! remim-
ber him whin he wuz by livin' over
in Miami.
Thin there's Hobson! They say he
larned the kissin' bizness in Toledo.
'Pon me sowl niver saw amy OHe in
Toledo worth practicin' on.
"Do yez hear thot?
"Now thin big meat min from Chi
cago are goin' to build stock yarruds in
Wood county, and sure enough up
jumps Mr.. Toledo and says WE are
to have the new stock yarruds." Phat
de ye think o. thatp
In the Summer tonne. whin the
leayes are on the traas, and the grass
is CROWN and all nathur puts on her
most beautifool garmints, thin the
Toledo people calls Perrysburg our
beautifool sooburb,' but whin the old
town is stripped of nathurs beautifool
coverin' thin Toledo calls US "a little
dead town up in Wood county.
"If Cubic is iver attached to the
Unoited States they'll thry to git
it hawled up and stuck onto Toledo.
"If Mannilie is ever taken from
Aggrinaldo they'll push it up to Toledo
and make rope of it.
But, the saints be praised, there's
wan man they can't git holt Nv and
that's Marc Hanna, they'll niver git
him, If he has got thin, for he has no
use for Toledo with it's suckin' rod
JOneses. -
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22
Death of Joseph Crort.

On Wednesday evening, John Croft
of this place, received message an.
nounciug the death OF his brother
Joseph Croft of Portage.
At time of death deceased was aged
5S years, 9 months and Is days, and un.
married.
He enlisted in Perrysburg in the
three months service and at the con-
clusion of his first enlistment, re-en-
listed in Co. H, 9th o. v. ". 1. and
served four years and two months, MAX.
ing an entire service of four years and
five months for his country.
His remains will be brought to Per-
rysburg for interment.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22
MARRIED.,

LEATHERER-ST We'd
nesday evening. Dec. 20, 1899. George
Leatherer and Miss Thressa Stickles.
The happy event which united the
hearts and hands OF these popular
young people was celebrated at the
home OF j. B. Dunn and wife, Rev.
Sbisler officiating, and was witnessed
only by immediate relatives OF the
contracting parties.
They will commence housekeeping
at once in apartments prepared for
them in the Dunn residence on Second
street. and have the congratulations OF
numerous friends.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22

Our Washington Correspondent says
chat the department. OF agriculture will
begia its distribution Of seeds a little
esrit7r this year shan last, shipping
them out the beginning Of January and
perhaps sending few shortly before
the 6cst. This year seeds for distribu-
tioa 20 all parts OF the country will
consist OF a3 .OGO, 600 packets of vegetable
seeds, l, 900 Of flower seeds, besides
field aud lawn grass seeds.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22

Mr.. Hardin Norris, Clerk OF the drug
store OF II. Shoemaker, Perry, ILL.,, says:
"a man came into our store the other
day and said, u want q bottle OF that stuff
that saves children's lives. I read In the
News about 1T. The children may get
sick when We cannot get the doctor
quick enough. It's the medicine you
sell for Group" He alluded TO Cham
berlain's Cough Remedy and bought a
bottle before he left the store. For
sale by A. r. Champney. druggist.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22
Death of Mrs. Eckol.

On Friday, Dec. Is. 1899, Mrs. George
Eckel departed this life at the age of
8S years. She leaves a husband and
family TO mourn the death of devoted
wife and mother. Her funeral services
we're conducted on Monday, at the St.
Rose of Lima church, and the remains
placed in the vault in the Catholic
cemetery.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22

PERRYsnuRG, O., Nov. Is. 1s

PERRYSBURG, o., Nov. 2S, 1899.
To WHOM 1T MAY CONCERN:
All persons Indebted To John G. HofT-
mann will please call and make settle
ment by January 1st, 1900, as l am
going out of business. The business
will be carried on by G. Frederick
Hoffman, in the old stand.
Respectfully yours,
3Se JOHN G. HOFFMAN,.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22

William Bryan Of Nebraska, who was
exhibited throughout this country as
the one great mau who was not afraid
OF the British lion, must take great
amount OF pleasure in the telegraphic
Feports which indicate that the Beers
Sre twisting that same lions tail.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22

Nearly everybody saw the eclipse OF
Che moon on last Saturday night. Soon
sitter darkness covered the land the
eclipse could be seen. 1t lasted till
nearly 8 o'clock and Mt one time there
was little Of the moon outside OF the
shadow.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22

Toledo is having a good time over
the sale of her gas plant. There are
those who say the plant lie not worth a
rap, while others think it good
thug. 1t is a warm fight over what
has on mauy occasions proven to be a
very chilly alrair.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22
Death of nIrs. Ronau.

On Tuesday morning, Dec. 10, 1899,
at o'clock, Mrs. Peter Ronau, passed
away at the age Of 50 years, months
and 10 days. The funeral services
we're conducted Mt ST. Rose OF Lima
church, by Rev. G. II. Rleken, Friday,
at 10 a. m. The remains we're Inferred
in the Catholic cemetery.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22

Married women who have husbands
TO support them and those who have
married while ia the service are no
1Oager to be retained In the postal
service, and the order forbidding their
employment is a just one.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22

A Florida man has just succeeded in
natching an ostrich egg in an incu-
nntor. This is said to be the first sue
cessful effort of the kind in this coun-
hEy, though 1t has often been tried in
California. It took Al days for the bird
10 come through.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22

When it is considered that Great
Britain lost more soldiers in one en-
gagement than the United States lost
during the entire war with Spain, the
Administration management of war
stands very high as compared with
chat of England.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22

The men who we're with Hobson and
assisted in sinking the Merimac in the
harbor Of Santiago have at last been
recognized. The Secretary OF the navy
has issued an order awarding to each
mau gold medal of honor and graf
,uity Of one hund red dollars.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22

Admiral Cervera's correspondence
concerning the aunihilation Of the
navy during the Spanish war, telling
how and why 1t was done, must be very
interesting reading.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22

The United States Supreme Court
has decided that the capture of the
Spanish vessels early in the war with
Spain, Buena-Ventura, Guida and
Pedro, was contrary TO international
law, aud the owners OF these vessels
were declared entitled to the proceeds
of uhe sale.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22
FRIDAY, DECEMBER %, 1899.
SPECIAL NOTICE.

Copies Of this paper may be found on file n
Washington in the Office Of our special CORES
Yondent, L, g.. Siggers, 9lS F street, N. w.
Washington, d. G.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22
C.II. & u. IL. IL. Time card.
Trains pass Perrysburg

North. South.
No. *12. .4:l7 a. m. No. IL. .7:lO "
" *l4. 1850 I" +5..- .IO:46
:. t.. 1921 "4I3. SAT pm
" *6. 1853 y. m.
IA. .6:32
Daily. Daily except Sunday
Nos. A, 6 and II stop on signal.
street Cars from &. III. d. ID. Depot a {
CincIunalt.
AtCincinnati the Bayniller Electric Street
Car Line leaves the sixth street entrance of the
Depot, running up Sixth street to all parts of
the city. The East End Electric start from the
TO all parts of the city, including the extreme
East End, passing the Penna. Station. The
Third and Fourth street Horse Car Line leaves
the Fifth street entrance passing the Central
Depot
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1899-12-22
Light type a. u. DARK type ?. q
tDSIiy except Sunday. fStop on signal.

9 an thu to Cioveisnd' Erie, Buhelo,. Now York
and Begton; on Nos, 8, 8 and to Chiosso or N
termediate points: Meals are geryed az rTIpp; rTp;;to
Cars at opportune meal hours. Baggage CHECKED
thru to destination. On inquiry, you Will nnd
our rates are always lower than via other hnes'
For rates and detailed information, address Z,
f. Horner, General Passenger Agent, Cleyeianu'
O.,or Local Ticket Agent