The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1899-07-05

tourists. When he turns his attention
to man from Kalamazoo he becomes
mighty aggravating. The bite of the
flea is a small matter, and his Odor is
sweet violets alongside of some bugs
| have met, but when in the lone star
ry hours of night the moon and the
hooking bird are making Florida a
paradise, he gets next to the epidermis
of tourist and himself becomes an
active combination of tourist and ex-
plOrer, trouble breaks out and prOfan-
ity burdens the midnight air. But it
is when the flea in wandering over
the anatomy of tourist comes to the
well developed indentation which
marks the spinal column, that all his
devilish propensitieS eliminate, and
right there he challenges all fleadom
to a quarter race. No wonder the
poor fiea-bitten man from the North
pays his bill the next morning and
carries his money off in the first train,
and no wonder the good people of
Dunedin are up in arms against the
vagrant hog.
Yet, l am sure I don't know which
is more to be dreaded-the flea or the
corporation. May be we will have
both, but heaven forbid! 1 have felt
and smelt bed bugs in Philadelphia, so
mere incorporation is not a panacea
have also noticed some things both
in New York and ChicagO-and posi-
bly, in Tampa-that would crawl all
over the very charter of incorporation
with no more conjunction of con-
science than darkey in a watermel-
on patch, hence I solemnly warn our
Dunedin authorities that eternal Wig
lance and kerosene emulsion are the
price of liberty.
Dunedin is the healthiest place |
ever saw, except the top Of Battle
mountain in Dacotah, where there are
no people. The fact that it has no
doctor and no drug store may have
something to do with it's marvellous
health. You cannot get a drink of
whisky in Dunedin to save your life
from a rattlesnake- hence our people
are never snake bitten. No doctor
and no whisky make people careful Of
health. A man rarely dies in Dun
edin-he hates so bad to go away-and
no man ever repeats the offence. If
he should do so now the new mayor
would fine him half to death. Our
railroad facilities are superb. We can
get away from town six times a day
but where would we go to be happier,
or better looking?
Once in while freight train stops
here and if any of our truck is thought
to be worth the freight it is hauled off
and we are relieved from all further
responsibility.
repeat that the population of Dun
edin is not great as to numbers, but
the new corporation will take steps
to remedy that. We are "few but
very select" AS soon as we get rid
of the hogs and the pulex irritans our
town will boom. Our hotel facilities
will have to be enlarged and the
''black runner" who meets the trains,
will have to have new suit and a
bright new cap with the hotel name
in guilty letters on the front. We will
invite settlers. We will offer induce.
ments for doctors, preachers, peda-
gogues, investors, bankers, philanthro-
pists, scientists, chiropodists, explor-
ers and statesmen to call and drop
their cash with us. We will have no
lawyers except by a two-thirds vote
of all the people with fair count and
no ballot box stuffing. We will have
dentists too, as an object lesson to
reconcile us to all our other miseries,
and we may possibly have to have a
sort of reformed lawyer after while.
We must all die some time or other