Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-09-12

will ever be engaged to anyone else, or
that she has to put it down on a tablet
to remember, has got to fight me- That's
all there is TO that"
He had left the shop before the as
sistant had sufficiently recovered from
his surprise to explain.
I'm the navy, are you, my friend?' in
| CURED man with muttonchop whskers
to his. neighbor in bus The sailor
nodded 'Well'' said the other, I'm
| not exactly in the navy, but I'm a naval
contractor-that is l furnish the cheese
tho the sai nIavy oh ye DO do ye! SAID
the chap I've been looking for these thir
ty years" and gave him Il sledge-ham
mer blow on the chest Now" he
roared, looking round with a glare. "show
me the blackguard as furnished the but
ter, and III bury We together
Of two rival candidates for one pulpit
| the following story is told At Il church
| in Scotland, where there was a popular
call for minister" as it is termed, two
candidates offered to preach whose names
were Adam and Low. The latter
! preached in the morning and took for
| his text Adam, where art thou?" He
| made very excellent discourse, and the
congregation was much edited. In the
| afternoon Mr.. Adam preached upon these
words: Low. here am l." The i'm
| promptu and the sermon gained him the
| Experimentation
HAZARDS.
| There is 10 links, however watched and
But some bad lies are there,
There is no drive, howe'er with skill its
blended
But oft leads to despair. Life.
The Ingenue's Little Game.-He (elat-
| edly)-"By Jove. I've taught you how
| to swim in two hours. | think that
breaks the record She-"Oh, hardly:
Jack Gadsby taught me in an hour and
Il say, Jimmie, come down-going to
| have an awful lot of fun" W'at?'
| We've fed the goat with a big bath
| sponge, and now were goin to let him
| drink
Pilson--..Is he a man of much cali
ber?" Dilson-'Why, yes; he's about
| the biggest bore | have run across for
some time. Ohio State Journal.
Father said young hopeful the
other day, how many fowls are there
pair of nicely roasted chickens that were
smoking ON the table, there are two"
| Two. replied the smart boy; there
are three, sir, and I'll prove it."
| Three" replied the old gentleman. who
was a plain, matter-of-fact man; I'D
| like to see you prove it, Easily done.
easily done. Is not that one!' said the
smart boy, laying his knife on the first
and that twOT' pointing to the second ;
and do not one and two make three"
Really" said the father, turning to his
wife, who was stupefed at the immense
learning of the son; really, this boy is
a genius, and deserves to be encour-
| aged" and then to show that there S
fun IN old folks as well as in young
ones, he added, wife, do you take one
| fowl, and I'll take the second. and John
may have the third for his learning"
| The Gentlewoman gives an American
story of Princess Louise: 1T seems
that when rambling one afternoon along
the countryside in the neighborhood of
Montreal she ran into a cottage and
| asked its owner for a glass of water
But the old body, who was busily iron
| ing her guide mans shirt. refused to leave
her work to fetch water from the we'll
! III do the ironing urged the princess,
| If you Will get me the water Reluctant
| antly the woman went to the well, which
| stood some few hundreds yards from the
| house. When she returned, however. her
| good humOr revived, for it was very GER
tain that the stranger had ironed the
shirt beautifully. Thank you, marin,
she said, the shirt looks nice 1t is for
| my husband 10 wear tomorrow when he
goes to see the Queens daughter at Mon
| treal.' 'Well.' said Princess Louise, I
am the Queens daughter.' Don't tell
me that" laughed the old cottager.
Queens daughters don't iron shirts But
| the princess persuaded her to believe in
her, and before she had left the cottage,
the old dame declared that never should
her husband wear the shirt ironed by such
| a great lady's hands. 1t shall be kept
| forever in white paper she added, as
| the princess smilingly babe her adieu."
Sir Edwin Arnold, whose Light of
Asia has done much to familiarize the
matter-of-fact Western world with ORR
| entail mysticism, is Il man of strongly
marked personality: In common with
many other men of genius, he has his
| little peculiarities, some Of which occa-
| sionally raise the laugh against him. 1t
! IS related that upon flying visit from
his japanese home to England he per-
| sonaly supervised the unloading of the
vans which carried his luggage. AS
| case after case was removed to his tenn
pOrary dOmicile he checked them from
| a list with the care of an experienced
supercargo. Suddenly he espied a box
| labeled Edwin Arnold Then his mas
! sive brow grew dark. THAT is not my
name he shouted, and, Selling mark.
| ing pot and brush, he wrote the prefix
Sir before the address in letters fully
a foot high.
+! With the Masters-"Lulu, what a
! lovely bronze Beethoven Isn't he
sweet? | use him to prop the door open;
/ he isn't always falling over and breaking
his nose, like that plaster Mozart"
The Yankee in Germany.