The San Francisco call., 1899-01-02
DECOY DUCKS AND
CRIPPLED HORSES.
A Fable Up to Date.

MT POpinlaW-EuTehd!
Mr. Straightforward?
PopinIaw-I have found 1t!
Straight-Found what?
Popinlaw-Found the store that un-
dersells Pattosien's Two-Acre Store IN
the Mission.
Straight-You have! Where is it?
Not on this continent, l am sure.
Popinlaw-I tell you. The other day
going up Main street I saw on the out
side Of a big furniture store over the
door the picture of a couch marked
So 80. I am positive that the cheapest
couch of that character at Pattosien's s
was not less than $6; there's a saving
of half for me in buying that couch.
Straight-That's a sprat to catch a
mackerel A will-o'-the-wisp to lead
you into a bog That couch is merely
to lead on to other things.
Popinlaw-Now am not right? Ism
that a bargain?
Straight-You are and you are not.
Popinlaw-Thats a paradox. How can
[ be wrong? Do you not admit that
would have to pay Pattosien's 50 for
that couch?
Straight-So I do, but wait. That
couch is purposely put there to deceive
the unWary.
Popinlaw-I do not understand you.
Straight-You will understand; just
let me talk. You know when l was in
the furniture business years ago l had
to battle against the same business
methods This very couch you are
speaking of may be worth So wholesale,
if well made; if it is not it might cost
only $3 Did you try to buy the couch?
Popinlaw-No. only priced it.
Straight-If it is we'll made and worth
So the store will lose 81 so on it. The
moment you try to buy it the salesman
will do his best to get you away to an
other of greater value and if he fails
in that he depends on making up the
81 so three times over on the next arti-
Gle. Were the other things marked in
plain figures like they are at PATIO
STEMS?
Popinlaw-No; they had letters on
the tags instead of figures.
Straight thought as much. The
S-K-I-N-T- -T-H-E-L-A-M-B cipher sys-
tenn. One thing marked FOX and an
other WOLF. Honest traders, such
as Pattosiens don't want to conceal
their prices. They are fair and above
board
Popinlaw-But don't that couch indi-
cate low prices?
Straight-Oh, you sweet innocent!
You dear pigeon, trussed for plucking!
All goods are high in sore that will
do such deceptions.
Popinlaw-But that couch was cheap!
Straight-Oh, you guileless gullible.
Don't you see that that's a, decoy duck!
A lure! Can't you hear them singing,
Walk into my parlor, said the spider
to the fly" It's cocks feather to bait
a salmon hook. Just like the dirty
signs that you see plastered all over
the store. Those soiled doves of the
salaried sign writer are like bandages
on the legs Of crippled horses;
they show at once the poor
beast that carries them is a bro
ken-down, spawned cripple, getting
ready for the knockers yard. They are
danger signals. When you have gazed
on them pass them by on the other side
and keep straight on. Board the Mis-
sion-street car; go right ahead and
don't stop till you get to Pattosiens, at
Sixteenth street, and there you will
learn the honest price Of goods
Popinlaw-I must say Pattosiens
mark all their goods in plain figures
Straight-And such figures. You can
not find at the decoy ducks nest what
you will a Pattosiens' Such things
for instance as elegant Wilton carpets
for 81 yard, or superb Roxbury make
for so cents. Mind you, sewed and laid.
No solid oak bedroom sets for $1S
No, friend Pop. I repeat, pass by the
deCOy ducks and