The Portland daily press., 1899-11-29

thHobhfhhtchtru EtoPtt.
After me and paw and the Pup Had
Lived on paws Cookin Four days paw
says:
"Well, I amt agoin to Put up With
This Outrage emmy Longer. i Bin up
aginst some Cold propposishens in my
Time, and | was Run over BY a Skorch-
err Wunst, But this here Thing Of Bein
left to Starve by n Hairless Womun
while She's away eaten Fritteys and
frosted Cake three times Day is a Lit
tie Bit the Worst Thing that ever hap
pened to me. and it amt doin my sistem
a Bit of Good"
Ii tutched my Hart to Look at paw.
He had sad countenunce and about AZ
Greece Spots on his Business SCOT. The
pupp was the only one what Seemed TO
Git along all rite on Paws cooker, Becoz
he wasent brot up to be pertickler about
his Vittles and got most of the stuff paw
cooked for Me and himself.
SO paw Sed we was agoin TO Go and
Git nav and Little Albert and the next
Day we went on the Three o'clock trane.
We got the Rawsons to keep the pupp
till we Got Back. and when we come out
of the Deepo after paw Bot His ticket
the pupp was thare Lookin up in paws
Idtt w hkEth MS Adit AAhN - hAN
joke was on somebuddy else.
Blame that Dawgg paw says. IF
Had a Club thay would Be mock ont
rite here in One Round. and it wouldn't
be no Chance blow neither"
But the trane come along In about
mint and paw GRABBED the pupp when the
Conduckter was Loolrin the other way
and we got in. The pupp lade Down
under the Seat and Keep purity quiet till
Il was Time to Git out the Ticket. After
the conductor punched paws and putt
Little red card in his hat He held out
his hand and Says:
"Whare's the Boy'sT
"What do you meant? paw asst.
"Aint that your Boy?" the man says.
eyes" paw told Him, but he's Too
young to pay"
That Don't go on this Road" the
Conduckter Says. Hell Be Shawn Twict
a week in year or So. Come on now.
l aint got no Time to Listen to no Stories
about Dates in the Family Bible"
81 CESS you must Be a new man Here,
paw Says. you Don't no the general
manager OF This Company is my uncle.
Do you? What's your namcF
The Conduckter Looked kind of steddy
at paw fer a mint and then sed:
"All rite"
So he went on punchin the Tickets.
and after he was up at the other End Of
the Car paw Says:
They amt nothin Like Havin nurve
and Keepin your Wits about you.
Hope you'll take after me and always no
Enuff to keep Cool and Camm When you
git in lite places. / wouldn't Of Done
a Thing Like That only this Rode run
over Cow for Uncle Henry Wunst and
Wouldn't pay him nothin."
Purity soon the Conduckter Came Back
and Leaned against the Seat in front Of
us and Says to Paw:
$50 the general manager is one of your
family. is He? When was you in to See
the Old gentleman Last?"
about n week ago" paw Says.
"It's pity about His health, Amt it?"
yes Couldn't Help notusen He was
fallen purity Fast l Told him he was
Foolish to work So hard. He OF to take
q Rest"
Becos you Felt SO Sorry fer HimF the
Conduckter Says.
ooh. no." paw anserd. Il Didn't no l
was Coin then and amt Had no time
to Tend to it Since"
purity mad, 1.-THE general managers Been
in Yoorup fer Six months. and il He had
emmy Reelashens like you I don't Spose
He'd Ever Come Back TO try to live it
Down Now / want q Ticket fer that
Boy"
Then the pupp Seen thay was Sum-
thing rong Coin on So he Crawled out
From under the Seat and Begin to Bark.
where's the Rest of the Family ?"
the Conduckter asst. you amt got a cote
or u caff or a goose or ennything Like
that with you, Besides the Boy and the
Dawg. Have yeuT
Don't git funny" paw says, Givin the
pupp a kick that made every buddy in the
car take an interest. One man jist Be
hind us Hollered:
Il CESS you made a mistake. You
wanted to Git on the Cattle frame,
Didn't you?" and another one on the
other side says to the Conduckter:
"You Better Sereh Him. Mebbe he
Has a Rabbit or Two Consealed about
his person."
Then paw Stood up and Shook his fist
at Them and IIollered:
"You Fellers OF to Git Job with
Some Sho. Them Jokes is So Brite the
publick would go Crazy over Them"
Everybuddy in the Car Taft, But me
and paw Couldn't tell whether it was at
the other fellers or Us.
So paw settled fer me and we Took
the pupp and went in the Smoker Car
and the next Stashen was where we
Got off.
When me and paw and the Pup was
standen on the platform All alone and
the frame had went ON l says:
Paw, Did you Haft to lurn to keep
cool and camm in tite places OF did 1t
jist come natchercl 10 You"
Paw he set His satchel Down kind OF
slow and put his Hand on mi He'd and
says:
George, Sum day Won are agoin to gro
up and Be man if your life is SPARED,
and mebby you mite have Children.
Then when they come in the Times OF
your trubble and Sho that WHARF they OF
to Have Inv fer You in thare Brest they
amt nothin But Disrespeck you will no
what it is to be a fawther with q Ser
pent's tooth Bitten at your Hart. Say, if