The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-08-18
JAYHAWKER JoTs.

Kansas has 2s3,OO9 more cattle this
year than last
VIII White contemplates building a
new home for his Emporia Gazette.
All the colleges of the state expect to
have "a largely increased attendance"
this fall
The farmers will have to hurry and
get their fall wheat in so as to have
something to worry about
This is the time of year that the poll
ticians are busy building platforms,
but they do not increase the business of
the lumber yards.
The man with the hoe has another
task before hiTn-cutting the weeds. If
the hoe won't do the job, he might try
a scythe or a corn knife.
Vic Murdoch thinks that Fred Fun
stOn's Supplying hour of triumph viii
not come until he rides up the main
street of lola in a lavender-nned, open
cab.
The o. NJ B. A. is new lodge that
is doing business in Kansas, but if any
body thinks he can get liquid refresh
ments at one Of the lodge meetings he
is badly mistaken.
Three bombs were exploded in an at
tempt to blow up the Maine in a fire
works exhibit at Wichita the other
night, and then a little boy had to kick
it over before it would sink.
Clyde intends to do. itself proud with
a watermelon carnival This is some
thing new, but it VIII doubtless\ be
greatly appreciated, especially by the
colored population of northern Kansas.
The story that a cat was frozen to
death in the ice box of an Atchison
joint recalls the fact that Henry Allen,
Governor Stanley's private secretary,
almost got licked for printing a story
about a rattIesnake that went to a
"watery'' grave in a key of beer.
The Newton Kansan is kicking be-
cause it can not head off that story
about the women of Newton holding
afternoon parties dressed in Mother
Hubbards, at which they turn the hose
on each other. The Kansan has a
stuffed club for the man who turned
the story loose, if it can find him.
The Howard Courant has discovered,
a little late in the day, perhaps. a
sweet girl graduate who was at least
original in her graduating essay Among
other things she said; T do not care
a cent whether Italy lies beyond the
Alps or over in New Jersey. do not
expect to set the river on fire with my
future career. I am glad have a good,
I very good education; but 1 am not go
ing to misuse 1t by writing poetry. or
assays about the Future Woman 1t
viii enable me to correct the grammar
Of any lover may have, should he
{ speak of dorgs in my presence, or say
/ he had went some where. 1t viii also
come in handy when / want to figure
out how many pounds of soap a woman
could get for three dozen eggs at the
grocery So, I do not begrudge the time
I have spent acquiring it. But my am
: bitiOn does not fly very high. I want
/ to marry a man who can lick anybody
| of his weight in the township. who can
! run an eighty-acre farm, and has no
female relatives to come around and try
| to boss the ranch. And I will agree to
! cook good dinners for him that won't
| send him to an early grave. and lavish
upon him a lot of wholesome affections
/ and see that his razor hasn't been used
1 to cut broom wire when he wants to
| shave. In view of all this, I don't care
1 if do get a little rusty on the rule of
three and kindred things as the years
| so by"