The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-02-02

out of an amateur Is TO induce him 10
become a ssional.-Brooklyn Life.
He-Oh. Miss Ethel. how can | ever
tell you my love? She twearllyl-You
might try the long distance telephones
Truth.
Two of a Knd.-"They say dreams go
by contraries, do they notf' Yes
dreams and weather predictions. -
Puck.
PA. what IS scheme?" 81 can't de-
fine It. my sou; but 1t is something
which will fall through quicker than
anything else on earth. Puck.
His Injury.-Attorney What ground
have You for asking for pension? APP
plicant-Why. when the engagement be
gan lost my head.-lIarper's Bazaar.
Mrs. Won Bloomer-"My dear, those
people will be here In an hour to din
ner, and the cook has been at your
whisky" 'In that case | guess I'll
join her."-Life.
A overwhelmingly Ida is en-
gagged. Llllian-She has met her match.
has she? Laura-Oh. no! think the
gentleman will find himself decidedly
outclassed,-Puck.
"De trouble wifi some men dat knows
a heap" said Uncle Eben, sis dat dey
hab sech a positive way O. tellin' it dat
dey makes folks too mad to lsten."-
Washington Star.
She-And do you really love me? He
With all my heart! She-And would
you die for me? He-Well-no. You
see, mine is n sort of undying love-
Unsere Gesellschaft.
Jealousy.-"Is she very much in
lover" "Much in love! Say! She heard
some one say that all the world loves a
lover. and she's been jealous ever
slnce."-Chlcago Post.
"Willison's wife is such a womanly
man." said the cosby boarder. Poor
Wlllisonw said the Savage Bachelor,
and relapsed into his usual grim 81
lence.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
She-Then you think the underground
road would be a good thing for the city?
He-Certainly. If 1t wasn't n good
thing the city wouldn't have half SO
much trouble getting it.-Truth.
A Genuine Paradox.-Freddie-
ma, don't you wish it would rain dla.
monds? Mrs. Rlch-No, dear. If 1t
should, people with money couldn't af-
ford TO wear them.-Jeweler's Weekly.
Enamored Swain (after being accept.
edl-Darling, you look sweet enough to
eat. Practical Maid-Well, you can just
bet that ! do eat. | hope you didn't
think that lived on atmosphere alone.
Chicago News.
Hicks-Bowers has been telling me
some of his war experiences. Wieks-
l suppose you believed all his yarns?
Hicks-Oh, yes; they were so unlnter-
estlng I'm sure they must be true
Boston Transcript.
Young man dining at his club Don't
yea think, James, that. these lonely din
ners at the club drive number of men
10 matrimony? Waiter-Maybe, sir;
but not so many as matrimony drives
to the clubl-Punch.
The Inyalid-I thought Robinson
would drop in. | wonder lie hasn't call
ed to see me. His friend-Well, I'll tell
you what think. Mrs. Robinson prob
ably won't let him sit up with any
more sick friends.-Puck.
"Mary, I saw the baker kiss you to-
day. think shall go down and take
the bread In future" "'Twouldn't be
no use, ma'am; he wouldn't kiss you,
COS he promised he'd never Kiss any
body else but me."-Ally Sloper.
Mrs. Hlcks-I told you Mrs. Dix was
enylous of our new dining room furnl.
ture, and you don't believe it. Hicks
Has she been here and told you so? Mrs.
Hicks-No; but she sent over a box of
boys tools to-day to Dlck.-Odds and
Ends.
Neighbor-Dld that artist who board
ed with you paint your doors and win
dows? Farmer-He did nots At first
he refused to do such common work,
and after had seen one of his pictures,
| refused to let him do lt.-Fllegende
Batter.
Lady of the House Ito bore, who gen.
orally calls when she is about to go
shopplng)-Won't you let me ring for a
little refreshment for you? Bore-I
think I'll take a little something Just be-
fore go. Lady of the House-Oh, then,
do have 1t now!-Punch.
"Your brother soldier didn't seem any
100 glad to see you" ooh, yes he was
glad enough, but 1t wouldn't be good
discipline to show 1t too much. Didn't
you notice the stripe un and down the
leg of his pants? It's half an inch
wider than mine" rChlcago Tribune.
vlsitor-Johnny, how are you getting
along with your geography In school
Small Boy-Teacher says End dom
great. Vlsitor-Tell me, what Is the
capital of New, York State2 Small Boy
i don't know, sir. but Havana Is thH
capital of Cuba. -Roxbury Gazette.
Miss Tommey--AIr. Bunting is a sin.
gular man. Miss Filkins-How SOL
Miss Tommey-He says he doesn't like
golf. Miss Filkins+4But lbts of. men
don't like golf. Miss Tommey-Yes, but
Mr.. Bunting says he doesn't care who
knows it.-Judge. tBLt4'LH s5ts
Mrs. Newma-Oh, l, wish you. could
see Mrs. winkler's baby. It's perfectly
lovely! Such a delicate sweet little
creature as 1t is. It's a perfect cheruh.
with the loyeliest eyes. the sweetestlit
tie mouth. the cunningest little nose,
aud eyes of heavenly blue. 1t looks as
If II just dropped from heaven and ev-
cry tiny feature had been fashioned by
.ha anaaIs NJ NaUma-Is Ii * nice