The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1899-01-27
"TO0 FRESH!'

"There Is a slang expression about
being too fresh" said the drummer, as
he lighted his cigar. 81 have adopted
that expression and written IL at the
head of every page OF my note bookso
that IL will be constantly before me.
Last fall changed cars at little
junction in the western part OF the
state. 1t is a dreary spot, aud the trains
never connect within three hours ot
each other. Finding time hanging
heavily on my hands / wandered over
10 an orchard near by, where these
was some tempting looking fruit. / was
so busily engaged in throwing stones
at a misunderstanding apple in the top
of one of the trees that ! did not notice
an old farmer bearing down where
was with blood In his eye. When ] dis
| covered him IL was too late 10 fiee, SO
concluded TO face IL out.
Fine orchard you've got here, said
| l, opening on him before he had II
! chance to get in the first word. 1t will
! be pity to spoil it by running rail-
| road through it,
| Hay? said he.
| al remarked said l. that IL will be
| n pity To spoil such fine orchard by
| running railroad through 1t. am
| the general manager OF this road, and
have been looking il over with view
| af strengthening out some of the kinks,
| have about concluded to run the road
through your orchard and thus get rid
OF the bad curve just beyond
This disarmed the old man at once
| and placed him in more concillatory
| mood.
General manager be ye? said he.
'Wul. come up ter the house an we'H
talk it over"
II thought the old man had some
thing i'm the line of wet goods that he
wanted me to sample In the hope thai
IL might put me in good humor and
save hiis orchard.I looked at my watch
and seeing that | had plenty Of time
concluded to carry on the JOKE, so
| followed him up to the house.
I "As we were passing n brick smoke
| house the old man threw the door oper
and invited me TO inspect "A lot of hams
| that he had inside. | stepped In the
doorway, and as | did so the old mar
gave me "A shove that sent me insid,
upon my hands and knees. Before
could recover myself he had thrown
the door shut and locked II.
General manager. be ye?he brawl
| ed through n crack i'm the door.
II didn't think wise to deny it, so
shouted back that | was, and more
over that | would take pains TO se
that the railroad ran straight through
his house.
"'Wul, we'll talk about that later,
| said he. Member that thar bill that
sent We fer KILN them Sheep
II truthfully replied that | didn't.
"'Wul.' said he youll stay where y
ar til ye do. I've got ye jes where
want ye an If we don't pay me tha
thar fifteen dollars that ye owe me fe
KILN them sheep the railroad Is goir
ter be short one general manager.
'I tried to explain the true situation
but he refused TO listen. II was fiftec
dollars or stay where / was. While
was arguing with the old man | hear
my train whistle mile or so Off. | ha
an important engagement TO meet. an
/ simply had TO catch that train, so
poked fifteen dollars through the cracl
The old man unlocked the door an
was stepping out when he suddenl
| threw his weight against ii.
Poke out 80 cents more" he shout
ed.
"What FORE howled as | heard m
| train getting nearer and nearer.
4" Fer postage stamps that ! waste
| wrltin' we about that thar bill.
, II didn't have time To argue th
| question. so | poked out 30 cents NOR
and legged it for my train. The SUI