davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-08-10

would be just as good as the other. Some
of you have read everything. You are
scientific and you are scholarly, and yet
IL | should ask you, what is the most
sensible thing you ever did?' You would
say, "Thc most sensible thing | ever did
was to give my heart to God"
But there may be others who have not
had early advantages, and IL they were
asked to give their experience they might
rise and give such testimony as the man
gave in n prayer meeting when he said.
"On my way here tonight | met n man
who asked me where | was going.
said, l am going to prayer meeting. He
said, There are a good many religions,
and | think the most OF them are deu-
sions. AS TO the Christian religion, that
is only a notion, that is n mere notion,
the Christian religion. l said to him,
Stranger, you see that tavern over
thoreY Yes he said, Il see it. Don't
you see meT Yes, Of course ] see you
Now, the time was when everybody in
this town knows IL ! had a quarter Of
dollar in my pocket ! could not pass that
tavern without going in and getting a
drink; all the people of Jefferson could
not keep me out of that place. But God
has changed my heart. and the Lord Je-
sus Christ has destroyed my thirst for
strong drink, and there Is my whole
weeks wages and l have no temptation
to go in there. And. stranger, if this is a
notion | want to tell you it is a mighty
powerful notion. 1t is a notion that has
put clothes on my children's back, and
it is notion that has put good food on
our table, and it is a notion that has fill
ed my mouth with Thanksgiving to God
And, stranger, you had better go along
with me; you might get religion, too lots
Of people are getting religion now"
WE'LL we will soon understand it all.
Your life and mine will soon be over.
We will soon come to the last bar Of the
music, to the last act Of the tragedy, to
the last page of the book-yea, to the
last line and to the last woodland to you
and to me it will either be midnoon or
midnight.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-08-10
COULDN'T SWINDLE.
A LITTLE | IClDENT ON A STREET
CAR.
which Tea hes n Moral Lesson 20
Every One, Including the Awkward
Man who Tried to DO the Company
and FniIe DismaIIy.

and Fniie DismaiIy.
ma,
n'S man iaun pun his car lare'
re iooNcu eui!'y'
Iie .au '''t n'.Eei oo'r,'u oyer III MS
,ien1 nnuu' puI we coi'I n''.'', n"u owe
,o"hVu "''i' an" nv as "s SUING on "ua'
Nv was gums ~ Wv "V'"I
o,.T,ISequ'n''S ~ io"N'u EuIIE' 49,.
", ~" nun w. i'"ns ~" W. tniS
nich'i, H|'u nv W. IN" lynx w. Sl"ie
SUI "'s NJ ""'"' ~ nm ~ ~ ~ -
slhHle ~ ~ l''1 P'9l'',e 'nal me-
"VI' lew vi IN P"'NV"tr'S' any NV
N"o "'N ""''''u '"'' Nv """" s'''" up
ms ,"I''
W. "','n n'u ~ ""ns on 10 , MS '"rs
ny my 'Erp'U ~, '"u "u'E +" SIT WV" .ne
'"''i' LILY, ~ N'''"-"| Pu,,ns '.c
nl"lSer /" H''i'''il pro anu 'on. ~ pre-
',UHe " pay ""S 1T t!a'' anu We oI,''
gov - NcHuS W see H'c 'HI'"EH' N""aer
IL tiiat I'II"W rElns I"e "'roSS 'ne way
nU'lceo uIat uiuh cough up my hIchel
I,'''ineG II n' u'GSn SIC me up SuspI-
ciouSN' MHyn' ne director OF some
,h'ns Oh ''' NM lnHt pretty e!ll over
tnere seems TO oe giving me the IN
uIEh1nI SURF ''o' H. mum as " say
ven NV" w pay NY Ia, Gnu w" ,,., :,
nv n''''' '"'" ","' 30" ~ a. E''N'
ne NAN "Pc''" up MS evening h|NS-
p"Iyr npt'Gt "'N anu p'e"u"'u 10
i''u' '"' ms n''uu WASH Oh MS ItHd-
iuN' ilr '"'' Huu'''. .'"HN'"E
up lp' Nn'u "uu '"'N'l- nun '''r' .,
=, H'''. - lu"' c"iiu ue''I Is ntAl' H.
tiio"Hn'' ga" N'' NM oNl Vi '"e a.,
va ny ~ ''"''' nv Mus az nv an" u
o'' II. i."'t '''' az SnI an an"
- w nj ~ "S"'r VIM '"e N'J t','",
nun Wv NV ~,
WIN i" ms n.y., W. TT'
c'"e! "'u ~ ""'' =" '!''
any Jop NJ Wv ."l '.'t ",'" IL
w! a." ''.'l,'oS 'o.'N'','o' w %'I.'
''I"tD y, 10y a. 0". Va ~
~ "%'i' w. - ~ ~ VI "0'' "N'' IT.
vi, :" 'N'N'' ''''' "'.'
"i'S' P''"0 N"'" ,He .ViiT
r"3''"s 'c''"t w ON VIZ '''1 ~"''9 'N'
"i sun nv" ,,
N''' Nv nun "|.N p"' us NAM, J."
my u..ee'''n' tno'- t"r "I"u u ''Ili nm,
' %.t u. WI nv. "l'
lis"' "I' nay ~ "T'' 'iio'e io'N S
a. w way 'n'"N ''"t II nun
aoout q" nv NJ, anu '''le e'"n.e
.'l"1 ny "a - W.! 'OoN'i'~ ''ie W.
40 vie u al INC
Nv n'I'eu o'cl l" nan ,'.,n iol
s,pu. !Hu' WIZ '.'',,'' Neu JuS' ."e''' %nr
Nnei '"e Yo i, t"LIq n'1us ~.
ia't ne S''" 'i"'' HIS N''Ne' III HIS uouO'ei
up H'"u' ,,a4.on ~, t,o.n ho .ho,,,h. .a.
:. AS "'a''pl ". i'st ;l,. "e l''us"'
- ''ll ~ 'De"p - I Ii ~ Wv "u, nl ii,
VI an JUN. '''" d "',.'l'U s,'e't run
way cor i".'oi' -"'t Vi " LEV copptIs'
wv w. ~ q" nm" w
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-08-10
Diamonds and Light.

Professor william Crookes, in lecture
In London recently, called attention to the
fact that when diamonds are placed in a
vacuum and exposed to a current of cleo
tricity they shine with different colored
lights. He has seen them emit bright
blue, pale blue, apricot, red, yellowish
green, pale green and orange rays. One
beautiful green diamond in his collection,
when phosphorescing in good vacuum,
gives almost rs much light as u candle
The light is pale green, almost white.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-08-10
MILLINERY NOTES.
CoIors md styles of Warm weather
HATS.

Fine Milan straws are again in style.
Tho braid is used alone or combined With
fancy braids Of other kinds lace braids
and chips. There are very oIen braids,
through the intcrstices Of which are run
bands Of straw Of a different color Piece
goods of woven straw and chip are also TO
be obtained, very soft and flexible, which
arc used for drapcd toqucs. When these
goods are of an open character, they are
lined with moussclinc dc sole of the same
color MS the trimming of the toque.
Tullo and mousscline hats are u feature
of the new styles and are very pretty as
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-08-10
Discovered nv "A oman,

Another great discovery has been made.
and that too, by lady in this country.
"Disease fastened its clutches upon her
and for seven years she wthstood it's Sc
yerest tests, but her vital organs were
undermined and death seemed imminent.
For three months she coughed ncessant-
". and could not sleep, She finally dis,
covered a way to recovery, by purchasing
of us bottle of DIR. Kingss New Dis
coyery for Consumption and was so niue
relieved on taking the first dose that shn
slept all night; and with two bottles, has
been absolutely cured. Her name is Mrs.
Luther Lutz" Thus writes w. C. Ham
nick g. Co. of Shelby. n. C. Trial bottles
free at j. w O'Sullvans drug store.
guaranteed
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-08-10

"You think you will win herr" asked
his friend.
Il am sure of it if only her father
keeps his word with me-" replied the
sutton.
"What do you expect him To do?"
Il expect him TO live up To his threat
10 kick me ont Of the house the next time
l call. and if he does
"Well?"
"Wcll, You know something about girls
don't youT'--C Chicago Post.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-08-10

"It." said the hen as she surveyed the
size and half egg she had just laid,
will take Il pretty good hailStone to
equal that"
Even in the lower walks of nature
there are ambition and emulation.-In-
dianapnlis Journal
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-08-10

Kodol Dyspepsia cure cures dyspepsia
because its ingredients are such that &
can't help doine so. The public can RELY
upon it as "A master remedy for all dlsor.
ders arising from imperfect digestion. -
James NJ. Thomas, NJ. D., in American
journal Of Health, y. y
j. w. O'Sullivan. ". P. Hall, r. ".
Parker. Il. Gosseln. Il. r. Crandal and
Belrose's Pharmacy,
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-08-10

Did you know that Maud ellington
was engaged 10 a great marine artist|
"No. How did she ever happen to get
acquainted with paintcr?"
"Ile isn't a painter, He's a champion
diver and bridge jumper, Chicago
Times Herald.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-08-10

"Is this your first robbery" asked tho
magistrate.
mo, your honor, answered the prison
err bent on making clean breast of it,
II used to sell opera librettos Chicago
Tribune
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-08-10
Not Kids.

Tommic-Auntie, mamma bought me q
pair Of gloves today.
Auntie--Did she, Tommie9 What are
they--kids?
Tommie-No, indeed. They're mems.
Harper s Bazaar.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-08-10
q THESE GIRLS.

Cholly-"Miss Spicer-Doly-cawn't you
see that T-er-have something on me
mind?"
Miss Spicer--"Iiow stupid of me, Mr..
Saphed? OF course | should have asked
lyou to take your hat off at once. '-Phl'a-
idelphia Record.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-08-10
MenNing q Spell.

He-I am rather in favor Of the Eng
fish than the American mode of spelling.
She-Ics:
He-Yes, indeed. Take ''parlour," for
instance. Having ~ in it makes all
the difference in the world.-Boston
Christian Register.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-08-10
ANOTHER ILLUSION CONF.

McSwatters- YOU visit the Quarter
Latin while in Paris?
McSwitters-Yes; but they speak French
there Just Ike the rest of the town.-Syr2.
Cuse Herald.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-08-10
At lis OLD TRICKS.
WAS Mercury

Teacher-Who was Mercury?
I Johnnic-He was the liar of mythology,
That's why they put him into thermomet-
ers. He's stll up to his old business, Pa
says.-Syracuse Herald.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-08-10

"Our baby was sick for a month with
severe cough and catarrhal fever AL
though We tried many remedies She kept
getting worse until we used One Minute
Cough Cure,-it relieved at once and cured
her in few days."-B. l.. Nance, Prin
High School, Buffdale, Texas,
j. w. O'Sullivan, w, p, Hall, +. H.
Parker, +. Gosselin, r. II. CraTdall aud
Bellrose's Pharmacys
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-08-10
Appropriate.

woman had the nerve to ask for
seat for her dog in the Empire theater the
other night, The manager promptly fur
nished a coupon for "k9. Exchange.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-08-10
A Diagnosis.

Doctor, my husband says black and
red spots appear before his eyes every
night What do you adviser
II advise that he stop playing poker"
Chicago Record.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-08-10

otis worth a bag of gold This applies
with special force to Hoods Sarsaparilla,
Americas Greatest Medicine.
Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-08-10
A Glorious DelusiOn.

o my Lord, my God, what n delusiOn,
what a glorious delusion! Submerge me
with it, fill my eyes and ears with it, put
1t under my head for a pillow, this delu-
sion; spread it over me for II canopy, put
1t underneath me for an outspreading
wing roll it over me in ocean surges 49,
600 fathoms deep. If inhdeity and il
atheism and if annihila ton are a reality
and the Christian religion is a delusion
give me the delusion.
The strong conclusion Of every reason
able man and woman is that Christianity
producing such grand results cannot be
deluson. A lie, cheat, n swindle a
hallucination, cannot launch such glory
of the centuries. Your logic and youl
common sense convince you that bad
cause cannot produce an illustrious re
suit. Out OF the womb OF such n mon
ster no such angel can be born. There are
many who began with thinking that the
Christian religion was stupid farce who
have come to the conclusion that it is 1
reality. Why are you in the Lords house
today? Why did you sing this song
Why did you bow your head in the open
ing prayer? Why did you bring YOU
family with you? Why, when / tell yol
OF the ending of all trials in the bosom OF
God, do there stand tears in your eyes
not tears Of grief, but tears Of joy, sucl
as stand in the eyes Of homesick children
far away at school when some one talk,
| to them about going home? Why is il
that you can be so calmly submissive e
the death Of your loved one about who's,
departure you once were so angry and 81
rebelious? There is something the mat
ter with you. All your friends have fount
out there is a great change, and il SOM
of you would give your experience yol
would give it in scholarly style, and 9th
ers giving their experience. would give i
ip broken style. but. the one sxpfIienc'
The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-12-03

FELL -FOUR STORIES,
Timothy Heating In
stantly Killed
Yesterday.
LUNATlC HOSPITAL ACCIDENT.
Victim Lost His Balance
While Sitting On a
Veranda.

Timothy Heating, an inmate of the
worcester lunatic hospital, fell from
the fourth story of the new addition to
the institution, yesterday morning.
about 10 o'clock. ana was instantly
killed
Heating whose home is 1771a Chan
dler street, has been confined at the
hospital about two months. Yester-
day morning he stepped out on the
Vefanda which runs around the fourth
story, Tor the purpose of getting fresh
ar IL IS custom to allow the pa
uents the privilege of the Verandas in
hii ,ld weather, and at the time the ac-
cIdent happened, Heating was with an
other patient. He was awaiting his
turn to be shaved, and the barber
James McDonald-was not ten feet
away shaving another patient. AS
soon as Mcdonald got ready for Keat-
ing, he called out to him and was sur
pllseQ when the other patient told him
that Heating had fallen over the bal
ustrade Mr. Mcdonald stepped out
on TO the veranda, and looking down,
saw keating's body lying on the
ground
The veranda is about 50 feet from the
ground, and as Keatilg fell, Liz ,ie Gro
nm, one of the mattresses at the instl-
tuition, saw his body Whirling through
air. She hurried to the office and
titled DR. Budd, who Immediately
lrrieG to the spot where Keatings
idy W&s lying, and found on examin-
ion that lifa was extinct He had
ruek on his head and had sustained
severe fracture of the skull. DIR.
udd was at his side inside OF two min
ties after the accid INT occurred There
no doubt but that his death was
instantaneous. DR. Walter T. Clark
Tho is acting medical examiner in the
bsence of DR.. F. H Baker, was called
nd pronounced death due to d fracture
# the skull
According to the story told by the
latient who was on the veranda with
<eating at the time the accident oc-
urred Keating's death was purely an
ccident. He said that the unfortu-
tate man was sitting on the rail look
ng about when he apparently lost his
balance and tumbled headlong. He
vas sure that he did not jump over
he rail, and DR.. Clark says that from
what he can learn of the affair, it was
purely accidental. He thinks that
Heating must have become dazed when
sitting on the rail- and fell over.
AS soon as DR.. Clark had completed
his examination, Callahan Bros, under
takers, were summoned, and the body
was taken to their Wareroorls, Z Tenn
pie street, where il was prepared for
burial. Later in the evening it was
taken to the family home on Chandler
street. where the funeral will be held.
He is survived by a widow four daugh-
tiers and three sons.
The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-12-03
FUR CLUB RECORD.

4so sHTReoord Of so Pelts for the Seasons
q Hunting.
seG1Bi The fox score took a jump last week,
9a sf}uf nothing like what should have been
.se " raeorded The fur company has but 60
~. belts to its credit. The leader is Paul
saG Wheeler with five. II. c. Newell j. II
Sss bFaird Alvin Fisher. John M. White, A.
s,af,raH : Perry and e. r Whitaker have four
- each. S. d. Charles. R. ID. Perry and
ssa29s .TahR W White each killed trio, George
p9i1SS9aiker e. j. Bates L. F. Herrick, Ben
soe faEtolden and c. A. Peterson have two
20 Y eaRh to their credit Hon John r..
e7ntoFhayer Hon. j. II Walker, J. w. Dear
den, n d. Libby. w. S. Perry H. f..
Sbey. Charles Pierce T.. w Gill, . bert
Hobbs. w. S. .Morins, G. II. Howe and
George H. Waite each have a single pei.
recorded against their names.
The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-12-03
ARMoRY BASKET BALL.

Directors viii Meet Today and Ar
range for Tomorrow Nights Game.
There will be meeting of he di-
rectors Of the basket ball association,
formed from militia companies. at the
armory, this morning, at IL o'clock.
Details for tomorrow nights game be-
/ tween the Emmets and City Guards
will be appointed. Judging by the
opening games between the four teams
al the armory, Monday nights game
Will be a hot one. The City Guards
defeated the Wellington Rifles, and
= the Emmets We're victors over the Bat
!, terry Thanksgiving evening. The
teams showed lack of some Of the
fine points of the game, but yet their
work never ceased to interest the spec
eot$tors, and with no mishap devotees of
atf1e game can see a good one tomorrow
night.
The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-12-03
THE CITY.

The 2. f. H club of the First Uni
yersalist church met yesterday after
loon and transacted routine business.
Thomas N. Doutney is to lecture on
emperance at Zion A. NJ. f. church
on Exchange srteet, at 730 o'clock this
evening.
Castle Copmandery, Golden Cross.
act at Castle Hall last evening. Only
outline business was transacted The
lection OF officers viii take place Sat
rday evening, Dec. 1e.
Special music appropriate to the sea-
n will be given at Union church to-
ght including a ladies trio sung by
SIS Alice NJ Eastman, Mrs f. w.
lggles and Miss Geraldine Dana.
A scarcity Of bananas is reported in
markets owing to the perishing of
big consignment brought to Boston
the Boston Fruit company. The
ergo is said TO have been hurriedly
hacked.
Rev, Edward w. Thompson, pastor
O.. the Peoples church of HaVerhill, is
~ speak on Loves value for service"
the meeting of the Worcester circuit
az Epworth League at Grace NJ. Z.
Tuesday evening, Dec. 70
= A reception to the new presiding
elder, Rev. w. T. Perrin, and Mrs.
Perrin viii be the leading feature of
The meeting of the Methodist Social
Union at Trinity church, Dec. II. DIR.
Perrin is a former pastor of the church,
and while in Worcester he was popu-
lar with all classes not only because of
his ability but because of the breadth
of his Views.
The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-12-03
GIFT TO TECH.

Boston, Dec. 2.-The Massachusetts,
pa Rdnstitute of Technology announces a re-
kcentegift of $4,000 from Augustus Low
ell a member of the executive COM
7asg mittee of its corporation.
The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-12-03

E0C1rtGkt q
vdlffoW -
Tol bel nss
nh p4ffW
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-03-16
NEW VOL. 34.--NO. 10.

Wis by twenty thousand plurality, one
of the first acts of the new chief exec
utive was to invite Willis to call upon
him. The young editor, somewhat
surprised at the message, made the
trip as requested, and his surprise was
increased when the governor told him
that he had been selected for the place
of state printer.
Il wish to say, sir, explained Wi
lis after a moments thought, that if
your choice is based on the Wings
position during the campaign, you are
making a mistake For the paper
support you are not indebted to me.
Indeed !" exclaimed Jarvis. ITO
whom then ?"
That l do not know confessed
Willis, and went on 10 tell the story
which the governor had heard before.
That is curious and interesting
incident" said the latter, gravely,
but with twinkle in bis eye. The
position of your paper, however, had
little to do with my choice OF YOU to
be public printer. That was mainly
brought about through the influence
of a lady"
"a lady ?" CALCULATED Willis. I'm
possible l have no woman friend
who can have influence with you, and
if had l could not accept a position
secured in such a way.
wait !" commanded Jarvis. you
are altogether too hasty in your state
ments and your conclusions. 1t may
help to solve your difficulties if | make
you acquainted with my wife.
With somewhat suspicious tmeh-
ness the door opened, and very smll-
ing young woman entered.
Mrs. Jarvis, said the governor,
may make you acquainted with my
friend, Mr.. Willis Perhaps, how
ever, he already knows you as
The linotype lady, said Willis and
Mrs. Jarvis in chorus.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-03-16

One time Quaker in carriage
met young man in buggy driving
in a narrow lane, where they couldn't
pass.
Il shan't make way for you, ,aid
the young man
Il am older than thou art, replied
the Quaker, "snd therefore have a
right to expect thee to give way so
that can pass.
"Well, won't. resumed the young
fellow. Then he pulled out news
paper aud began to read, as he sat
still in bis carriage
The Quaker observing him, pulled a
pipe aud some tobacco from his pocket
struck light, and sat and pulled
away very comfortably.
Friend, saId be, when thou hast
read thai paper ! should be very glad
if you would lend it to me-
The young man gave up the con-
test
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-03-16
Why Garland Quit Drinking.

Mr.. Garland's death has recalled to
many minds incidents Of his long ca
reer in Washington, some Of them hu-
morous and some pathetic. Tho story
of the trick played on him in the Sen
ate by group Of colleagues, who Of
fsreG him cubes Of brown Windsor
soap under pretence that they were
caramels, and were dismayed to see
him eat them with apparent relish,
has been told too many times TO bear
repeating But there is less hack
neyed reminiscence Of his return to
Washington after the campaign OF
1880 a convert, at least temporarily,
to teetotalism. He had always been
up to that time a free liver, and had
touched glasses with hi, brother SEN
ators with no restraint beyond his own
distaste for eXcesses.
When he suddenly declined the
profered hospitality Of their side
boards they were astonished and asked
him a thousand questions to draw out
the reason. He consented at last to
explain: "Gentlemeb,' said he, 81
have simply stopped. We had a pref
ty hot canvass in Arkansas this SUM
mer, and | stumped most Of the State.
l saw everywhere the graves Of good
fellows who used to share my convlv-
ialities, while others, reduced ts sor-
ry wrecks, still moving about the
streets. Figuring the thing up rough
ly, and dividing the total Of the whs-
Ky consumed in Arkansas by the num-
Der of habitual consumers, so as to
get an average, l found that l had al
ready drunk about barrel and a
half of whisky more than was en-
titled to. This set me to thinking.
If I drink any more, said l to myself,
1 shall be drinking some other fellow s
whisky OF course, | didn't want
to do that, so just stopped. "
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-03-16

In the WomsD's Home Companion
is this characteristic story Of the Hon
Isaac Parker, famous as the terrible
judg. at Fort Smith, Ark, who prob
ably sentenced more men 10 be exc
cutsd than any other Judge that ever
lived. One day when there was an
unusually large batch Of culPrits to
be sentenced tn. judge looked COM
pas,ionately over hi, spectacles at one
young scamp and SAID:
"In consideration Of the youth and
inezperience Of this prisoner, / shall
let him off with a fine Of $50
Before tn. judge had done speaking
the very fresh young man coolly
stretched his right leg and ran his
hand in his trouser pocket on the side,
rsmarking nonchalantly as he did 80
That's all hunky, Judge I've got
that much right here in my jeans.
"And one year in the penitentiary,
continued the Judge. Then looking
over at the convict in a quizzical sOrI
of way, be added "Do you happen tc
have that in your jeans"