davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-18
The sherin.n little Joke.

This is true story of Sheriff Brook
shire of Williamson county, Texas, and
what came OF his efforts 10 play prac-
teal joke on his wife" said Mr.. NJ. r.
Goodbread of Taylor, Tex, according to
the Washington Post.
Sheriff Brookshlre is full of good ma
ture and the love of fun is his predomi-
naut characteristic. To get the laugh on
a friend is to him the next best thing to
rounding up a band of horse thieves. He
Is owner of a gOod-sized ranch, and While
working out in a pasture near his home
some time since came across buzzards
nest. in which reposed four as handsome
snow-white eggs as the eye of a man
ever looked upon.
The discovery of these eggs immediate
~ set him to thinking of a little game
that he would play upon his faithful
spouse. Wrapping them up with care, he
bore them TO mis- house, intending to tell
Mrs. BrOokshire that he had been present
ed with some uncOmmonly fine eggs from
fancy breed of chickens and that it was
the proper thing TO put them under one
of her setting hens Immediately. He knew
how fond she was of having choice speci-
mems OF the feathered tribe, and shook
with laughter as he pictured her disgust
when these young buzzards should be
Matched out.
Revolving these merry thoughts. he
went into the kitchen to make the pres
en.sation. II happened that his wife was
not there, and ne placed them on a table,
intending 10 call her attention to them
later. Just at this time he was called out
of his domicile on very important business
and the matter was of consequence enough
to drive all thoughts of the joke out of
his head. He stayed away a couple Of
hours, and when he reached home supper
was ready. Being rather hungry from his
tramp in the pasture, the sheriff sat down
TO the table and ate with good relish the
Viands placed before him.
Suddenly the recollection of his find
flashed across his mind. My dear said
he, when I left the house awhile ago
put some eggs over on the table yonder
Did you get them?
9 1 certainly did, and you have just
eaten them for your supper" quoth Mrs
Brookshire. Why, what on earth ails
you!' as the sheriff clapped both hands
about the middle of his corporosity and
rushed for the open air. She thought
maybe, that he had been suddenly seized
with fit of some kind, and followed to
render assistance 1t took him several
hours to recover. but he has utterly re-
nounced practical joking"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-18
Personal.

Lord Russell of Kllowen, lord chief
justice of Great Britain, attended the
Dreyfus trial and was thus referred TO nv
a French reporter Lord Russell Killow-
en-, chief of the London police, watched
the accused with keen attention"
-Fernand Labor, the counsel for Drey-
fus, is the editor of an exhaustive ency-
clodepia of French law. the twelfth vol
ume OF which was issued last year He
is also editor Of a monthly political and lit
erary review called the Grand Revue.
-Ex-Secretary of State Sherman says
that when he was in the cabinet promi-
nent man applied personally to him for a
consular post in China. The secretary re-
piled that he always wanted to appoint
men who spoke the language of the coun-
try to which they were sent Now. YOU
do not. l presume, speak Chinese" ne
concluded. Certainly do" answered the
applicant; TASK me something in Chinese
and I'll reply" 1t is needless to add that
Mr.. Sherman accepted the officeseeker's
word without putting him to the test
Sir Thomas Upton, speaking of how
he won success in business, says: 81 simply
worked hard devoted my whole time to my
business, had my heart in it and couldn't
kelp succeeding. But few young men are
willing 10 work. They are too particular
about the hours they spend in the store
or office. Why, l often say that l have
worked twenty-five hours out of twenty
four, and l do believe that / get twice as
much into a day as do most men. l have
never been afraid of hard work and have
worked just as hard since my business has
become established as l did before. [ owe
almost all my success TO hard work and
nothing else"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-18
Jokes on ChapIains.

A new military prison chaplain was re-
Gently appointed in a certain town in Scot
land, says the Chicago News. He was
man who greatly magnfied his office And
entering one of the cells on his first round
of inspection, he with much pomposity,
thus addressed the prisoner who occupied
it:
''WeR, sir, do you know who 1 ann"
NO, nor dinna care was the noncha-
liant reply.
''Weel. I'm your new chaplain"
"Oh, We are; well, hae heard O. We be-
fore"
And what did you hear?'' returned the
chaplain, his curiosity getting the better
of his dignity.
well. / heard that the last twa kinks
We were in We preached them bath empty,
but III be hanged if ye find it such an easy
matter TO do the same WI this one"
A devout young officer at Gibraltar hav-
ing occasion to take charge of a class of
young ladies in the garrison chapel which
had formerly been taught by a lady, was
introduced to the class by the very solemn
chaplain in these words:
Young ladies', wish to introduce to you
Bombardier IS, who will in future be
your teacher. 1 would fike you to tell him
what your former teacher did, so that ne
can go right on in the same way
Immediately demure young miss of
about 16 rose and said:
"The first thing our teacher did was to
kiss us all round"
Lord Clyde, one day after dinner asked
a chaplain to one of the regiments in In
dia for toast, who, after considering some
time, at length exclaimed with great sim
plicity, 'Alas! and Hlack- a-day! What can
give?' Nothing better" replied his ford
ship. Come, gentlemen, Wen give a
bumper 10 the parsons toast. A lass and a
lac a day" A lac means 100000 rupees, or
$25 900, which is certainly an income to
make one happy.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-18
TOO Hot to Extinsuish.

A well known Mississippi farmer will
have cause to remember his recent visit
to Memphis, says the Memphis Sclmitar.
He stopped In a well known cafe and
among other things ordered sirloin steak.
bottle of tobacco sauce was on the ia
BILE, and installing it for catsup he spread
it quite lavishly on the steak and settled
down to enjoy the meal He cut off a
big piece, but no sooner had 1t struck his
mouth than he began to feel like his
tongue was on fire. He twisted and turn
ed, and soon had the eyes of every one in
the dining hall fastened on him. The more
he twisted and screwed his face the hot
ter the steak in his mouth got. He didn't
know what was the matter. He could
stand 1t no longer. and reaching up his
hand he Jerked out the burning bite. threw
it on the floor and in a very dramatic way
exclaimed: Now. d-n you. blaze"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-18
THE PoLITIcAL MACHINE.

During the ncsurse of an interview not
long ago Mr.. Richard Croker Of New York
is reported 10 have said: Il believe il is
the duty Of every man in the country TO
become politician. It is mis- highest
privilege. and it is mis- most serious duty.
Every good American should De sufficient
~ Interested ina the good OF the affairs
OF the community in which ne lives to give
a little thought and time to his duties as
a citizen. a man who mas a right 10 vote
and who wilfully shirks his responsible
ties as an elector ought to be treated as
an alien"
The sentiment is very high-sOunding. and
the statement is true enough. But if
every voter We're 10 live up to his duties
as a citizen. Mr. Cookers power as boss
would be gone, and every political machine
in the country would be smashed. If the
people were 10 take an adequate INFER
est in their public affairs, the bosses and
the political machines could not exist
Their field of activity would be destroyed,
and they would have 10 go out Of the bus
mess. II is to the interest of the bosses
that the voter shall devote just as little
thought" to his duties as citizen as
viii suffice to give the boss a pull upon
him and get him out TO the ballot box on
election day.
That this is true. that the voters taking
deep interest in public affairs is dangerous
to the boss, has been illustrated on several
occasions recently. The Republican boss
In New York did not want Theodore
Roosevelt to be a candidate for Governor.
The majority of the party took great in
terest in the matter, and demanded Roose-
Welt The boss saw that the people meant
TO have their wish In order 10 prevent a
ruinous assault upon the machine, he ac-
guessed and Roosevelt became Governor.
In San Francisco during the present year
both the Democratic and Republican mu-
nicipal machines were smashed, through
the fact that the voters gave Thought
and time to their duties as citizens" Had
they remained inatteutive, the machines
would have gone about their Vaccinations
just the same as ever, and San Francisco
would have continued under boss rule
The same is true in the case of New Or
smashed and threatens TO carry down the
state machine in its ruins. In Ohio the
voters are beginning to give a great deal
of thought and time TO their public duties;
and our dispatches of a few days ago said
that even the President was beginning to
become anxious lest the Republican party
Senator Hanna's machine) should lose
the approaching election.
1t is, indeed, the highest privilege" and
most serious duty" of every qualified
American voter to become a politician, in
the sense of looking out for the best in
terests of the commonwealth. But it is up
on the fact that every voter does not and
win not do any such thing that the politi-
cal machine thrives and the boss grows
fat. What suits the boss is for the elector
10 vote. and leave the machine to do the
rest. The people have it in their power
to smash the machines, and they will do
it wherever and whenever they get to de-
voting time and thought to public affairs;
and the bosses know it,
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-18

The announcement of Gov. Pingree of
Michigan of ~ purpose to retire from pol
itics at the end of his present term as
Governor does not appear to cause pro-
found regret in any part of the country.
AS a matter of fact. Pingree is too pic
turesque a politician too flourish long in
the field of politics. Outside of his sug-
gestion that vacant city lots be used for
said or done anything since his advent
into politics that will cause his name to
be remembered after he gets out of the
public eve.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-18
NEW CoRN PRODUCTS.

There is a great deal more in corn than
most people imagine. Many who have
been familiar with its production and or
binary uses all of their lives associate it
in their minds only with meal, grits. cat
tie feed and corn whisky. To such per-
sons il may be a matter of some aston
ishment TO know that there are, besides
the articles mentioned, more than twenty
other products of corn and its plant.
Science has been particularly busy with
corn during the past few years, and t
has discovered that the corn plant is one
of the most versatile members OF the
vegetable family It lends Itself readily
to a considerable number of enter
prises, and is aiding in the estab-
lishment of many new industries. The
Chicago Tribune has made the following
list of the new products of the corn:
Mixing glucose, British gum,
Crystal glucose, GRADUATED gum,
Grape sugar, Gum paste,
Anhydrous grape Corn oil,
sugar, Corn oil cake.
Special sugar Rubber substitute,
Pearl starch, Gluten feed,
Powdered starch, Chop feed,
Refined grits, Gluten meal,
Flourine, Corn germ.
Dextrine,
In addition to this should be mentioned
cellulose, the new packing for the sides
of ships, which is now manufactured in
| large and increasing quantities from the
| pith Of the cornstalk, and new absorb
| ent for nitro glycerine and other high
explosives, also a plth product Hundreds
of thousands of gallons of distilled spirits.
made from corn, are being used in the
manufacture of smokeiess powder, and the
consumption of this article In the pow
der factories is likely to increase during
the next few years. The American navy
department is now building a great smoke
less powder plant, which will run up the
demand by thousands of gallons.
Practically every particle of the corn
plant, from root TO tassel is manufac-
| tured into some useful product. No part
OF the ear, from the shuck and the skin
of the grain to the cob itself escapes the
manufacturer One of the most import
ant of the new discoveries, and one which
| may have a great deal of influence upon
centain markets, is the rubber substitute.
1t is predicted that this article will soon
be used in the manufacture of all rubber
goods. 1t can be produced, the inventors
claim, for six cents a pound, and in con-
nection with Para rubber in equal parts.
can be used in all classes of rubber man.
| ufactures.
When these new uses for corn are con-
sidered in connection with the old uses
and the demand in the old lines is grow
ing greater every year--it will be seen
that there is a very good prospect for
the price OF corn to remain strong. not
withstanding the harvesting of a few rec
ord breaking crops
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-18

The strike in the Cramps shpyard in
Philadelphia has not attracted a great
deal Of attention because efforts have been
made 10 have as little said about it as
possible, but one of the Cramps has made
a rather startling statement to a Phnadel-
phian. 1t is that the strike was part of
an effort made by English shipbuilders 10
bring about strikes in all of the shipyards
Of this country, their purpose being to
regain the position they lost during the
great strike in their own yards two years
ago. The charge is a rather serious one,
but il is hardly probable it would have
been shade If there had not been pretty
solid foundation for it.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-18

An exchange has a story telling how
Cornelius Vanderbilt, who died a few days
ago, began life a poor clerk in bank at
$50 month and worked up until he be-
came Observation-Disclosures. That is pop
pycock, of course, since Cornelius was
born with a golden spoon in his mouth
and had millions in sight all of the time.
But it is a fact that the first Cornelius
Vanderbilt. the old Commodore" the
founder of the fortune. began work eighty
nine years ago with no capital save brains
and muscles, and accumulated the nu-
cleus of what now amounts to hundreds of
millions of dollars. There is surely enough
of the romantic in that fact without
strainns the truth in the case of the Cor
nellus Vanderbilt who died last week.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-18

The MORNING NEWS is published
every day in the year. and is served to
subscribers IN the city. OF sent by mail,
al Sl.00 a month, 500 for six months, and
5000 for one year.
The MORNING NEWS, by mail. six
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three months, 500; six months, $500; one
year, $500.
The WEEKLY NEWS, issues a week
Monday and Thursday, by mail, one year.
sl.M.
Subscriptions payable in advance. Re
NIT by postal orders. check or registered
letter. Currency sent by mail at risk OF
eenders.
Transient advertisements, other than
special column, local or reading notices,
amusements and cheap or want column
10 cents a line. Fourteen lines of agate
type-equal to one inch square in depth
IS the standard Of measurement Contract
rates and discounts made known on ap-
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orders for delivery of the MORNING
NEWS 10 either residence or place OF
business may be made by postal card or
through telephone No. 2l0. Any irregular
ity in delivery should be Immediately re-
ported to the Office of publication.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed MORNING NEWS Savannah,
Ca.
EASTERN OFFICE % Park Row, New
York city. c. S. Faulkner, Manager.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-18

According TO a Philadelphia newspaper.
poor young men at Yale are not to have
the opportunities for helping themselves
through college that they have here
tofore enjoyed. Colored walters are 10 take
the places of the undergraduates, about
thirty in number, who have been helping
to pay their way through college by act
ing as walters in The Yale commons. This
IS in accordance with decision OF the fac
ully which holds that such work interferes
with study.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-18

a letter from one of his correspondents in
the cotton belt, who wanted currency with
which to pay for moving the crop, in
which this sentence was emphasized:
Don't send US gold. People here are not
used to il, and as soon as they get it
they hoard II away and refuse to pay it
out even to meet their debts" No matter
how much the politicians may preach
about the tyranny of gold the average
person is mighty glad TO see the tyrant,
and is apt to give him tight, apprecia-
tive saueeze.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-18

A Pennsylvania politician is appealing
in novel manner for the sympathy and
votes of buconc electors. He is telling the
farmers how badly he suffers from the
grounditch, and asking Them if they know
what is good for it. OF course every far
mer in the world has remedy for the
grounditch. The request for remedy for
the homely complaint and it's ready and
glad acceptance makes the farmer the
friend of the candidate.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-18

The California state board of health a
few days ago unanimously passed a reso-
luton to thepeffect that the board would
consider the propriety of quarantining
against human beings and animals having
tuberculosis, the quarantine to cover the
whole state. Only a few years ago Cal
ifornla was inviting the consumptives of
the world to come to her balmy climate
and live. Speaking of the resolutions, DR..
Crowley of the board of health, said:
Twenty thousand consumptives in year
enter our state, promiscuously spreading
the germs of their own disease. The eli
mate may save one in fifty lives or pro-
long life few months or year; but how
many others who have not been previously
infected will die from this reason? We
are morbidly afraid of diphtheria, scarlet
fever, smallpox, cholera and yellow fever;
we quarantine against these diseases be-
cause they kill quickly, and our people APP
preciate this; but lingering tubercular DIS
ease that eventually kills twice as many as
all these put together is permitted to con-
tinue unchecked" The doctor thinks con-
sumptive patients should be prohibited
from attending churches. theaters and
other public gathering places. nor should
they occupy public vehicles or convey
ances.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-18

Darying in Georgia, in al of its
branches, viii be discussed exhaustiveIy
al the convention of the state dairymens
association at Granville, Coweta county.
on Oct IL. Arrangements have been made
Tor papers and discussions by successful
darymen from Wisconsin, Ohio North
Carolina, Washington ID. c., and else
where beyond the limits of this state, be-
sides prominent Georgians. The member
ship Of the association is large and con-
stantly growing. 1t is certain that the
forthcoming convention will be attended
with gratifying practical results Dairy
Ing is one industry which has heretofore
received too little attention in Georgia.
There does not appear TO be any good rea-
son why the state should not produc.
every pound of the butter and cheese that
hhe needs for her own consumption.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-18
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

Special Notices-Mautels, Thing and
Crates, Savannah Building and Supply
Company.
Business Notices-Watch the Bill
Boards.
notwithstanding OF Council.
ne-Anheuser-Busch Brewing
Association.
Steamship chedules-Merchants and
Miners Transportation Company; Ocean
Steamship Company.
Medical-Dr. Hathaway Company.
Cheap Column Adyertisements-Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent;
For Sale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-18

According to precedents, ex-senator
Quay hasn't any legal right TO a seat IN
the Senate under the ad interim appoint
ment of Gov. Stone; nevertheless Senator
Penrose is quite positive that Quay will
be seated, because he will be asking recog-
milton of old friends In other words. he
is satisfied that senatorial courtesy and
Quay's pull viii be sufficient to overthrow
any and all obstacles that may be in the
way. including the law and precedents.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-18

The girl that kissed George Dewey is
now the reigning sensation in Cincinnati.
The George Dewey in question, however,
was not the admiral, but his son, who is
travelling salesman. Young Dewey was
cornered in a Cincinnati dry goods store
and kissed FOR his daddy" despite his at
temDts TO get out OF the way
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-18

Some surprise is being expressed that
Mr.. Bryan has not yet kept his engage
ment to make speeches in Kentucky for
Mr.. Goebel. Il was. stated some time ago
that he would speak in Kentucky twice
a day for twenty days. Senator Black
burn is authority for the statement that
that announcement was a mistake. There
has never been any understanding as to
the time Mr.. Bryan would remain in the
state. Mr.. Bryan wrote to Senator Black
burn that he would make one speech or a
dozen. He left the matter entirely with
the senator. Senator Blackburn SAYS he
has written 10 him that the Democratic
managers Will be ready for him soon af-
ter the first Of October, and that Mr..
Bryan will make quite a number of
speeches. By the time Mr.. Bryan arrives
the bolters' movement, Senator Black
burn thinks. will have about worn itself
out, so that Mr. Bryan VIII have the sat
isfaetion of facing united party. With
a united party there would be no doubt of
Mr. GoebeFs election.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-18

- ID ~ ~
nosed and the exset
position of The d.
eased condition de-.
termined. Thus en-.
cry case is treate1
separately and med--
cines are admfris-
tered which are sn.-
cially prepared under
DR.. Hathaway's per-
sonal supervision for
each case.
No two people are
affected by a partlc-
ular disease in tho
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-18

Ex-Secretary Carlisle is annoyed at the
efforts that are being made to draw him
into the Kentucky political fight. He has
made a statement in which he asserts that
he has not tried to influence the situation
IN any manner, and that he does not pro-
nose to do so
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-09-18

English agents, il is reported, have ap-
preached the war department in Washing
ton to know if they could buy from the
department al once 900 mules, TO be trans
ported to South Africa for military SER
vice. The department informed the agents
that it had disposed of its surplus stock
OF mules. The agents. it is said, win try
20 find the animals wanted in the South.
Possibly they would do web to look about
in the territory contiguous to Savannah.
great many mules have been disposed
of here during the past few months. And
the British agents could find no other
place on the South Atlantic nearly so wea
provided with facilities for shipping mules
as the port Of Savannah. The American
government has provided large corrals
and every other necessary convenience
here for handling mules or horses in large
numbers.