Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1899-10-19


Hell was cured by the faith cure.
She-What was your ailment He
Faith In the faith ure.-Brooklyn Life.
Jaggles-I see there's new keeper
In the menagerie. Didn't the animals
like the old one? Waggles-I guess so.
They ate him up.-Judge.
Judge-"Was the stolen article gold
or only giltY Prisoner-"It was silver,
sor. The guilt was all me own. yer
anner!'-Jewelers' Weekly.
Where she Glands" them: Fisher
Ill bet you don't know what q landing
net is. Miss Anglin (coyly)-It's a slang
term for hammock, isn't ita-Puck.
A seaside riddle: Cholly-That girl
in the surf reminds me of one of those
puzzle-pictures. Algy-How Is that?
Cholly-Tind the bathing suit.-Puck.
Stubbs-What does 1t say on that sign
wilkins is mailing over his store door?
Permit says"Honest Dealings Here"
Stubb-Hm! Another lie nailed.-Chi-
cago News. ss...
when you returned my book you
said you enjoyed 1t immensely" well,
L did, for fact" I'm glad to hear 1t.
But why didn't you cut the leaves?'-
Chicago Record.
MY husband has all the virtues but
one," remarked the wife-of struggling
young doctor. What Is that?" asked
her sympathetic friend. PATIENTS" re-
piled the young wife.
Lulu--The wretch! He said If re-
fused him he would take dose Of
poison then and there. refused him.
Mabel-Ahl. And what did he d0G Lulu
Lit a,cigaretteAJudge.
do you never. work2" said Mrs.
SubbubsS to a tramp who asked for a
handout. Never. num-" was the
proud reply; lam an immune."-Pitts-
burg Chronicle Telegraph.
Mrs Chat (nudging Mr.. Chat, who
shores with his mouth open)-William,
you'd make less noise If you'd keep
your mouth shut! Mr.. Chat (only. half
awake)-Sod you.-Tid-Bits
Literally true: The Cat-You have
heard, l suppose, that we cats have.
nine lives? The Cow-That's. nothing;
l have a record of kicking the bucket
ten times in one week.-Judge.
Customer-See here, This suit of
clothes you seld me began to fade as
soon as got into the sunlight. Clothier
Well, didn't l tell you that you
couldn't wear 1t out?-Exchange.
Miss de Puyster-"I can trace my an
hao 70 af, M
Smith-"That's nothing; can trace
mine back years and years before they
attempted to reform.-Chicago News.
Bridget. can't stand the missus,
sur. Won Blumer (sarcastically)-It's a.
pity, Bridget, that / couldn't have Sc
lected wife to suit you. Bridget
Sure, sur, we all make Mistakes
Brooklyn Life.
Briggs-There is one thing about DR..
Candor that like. He tells the truth.
Griggs-What has he been telling your
Briggs-He told me If had only come
to him before my money gave out he
might have cured me.-Criterion.
Walton Ito fshmonger)-Jnst throw
me half a dozen of those trout. Fish
monger-Throw. them? Walton4-Yes;.
then can go home and tell my wife I
caught EN-. I.may be poor fisherman,
but I'm no liar.-Household Words.
neutrality-suspicious. the reason that
all the men who come around begging,
now are such. big. strong. looking fell
lows? Polite Pflgrim-De reason, lady,
Is dat it's only strengthening. fellows,
wat kin beg nowadays widouti gettin'
hurt.-Philadelphia Record.
Little Sniffkins (who has been nearly.
drowned)-"It was simply marvellous.
As sank for the third time all the in.
cidents of my past life came wildly
before me-" Robertson (brutally)-'I
say, old chap. did you remember that
flyer lent you last yearT-TitBi Bits.
Irate Boarder-"Just look. at that
the shade--and your advertisement
called this the coolest spot In the.
mountains Landlord-"Waal, 1t was
when the advertisement was written"
Irate Boarder-"When was thatye
Landlord-"Last January" Bazaar.
DO you uldhe uluCl. Jul OIL your dp-
plesg' asked the visitor. ooh. pretty
considerable" answered the farmer.
-but I've got a son up, in the town who
makes more out of the apples in .
| month than 1 make the whole season"
"A farmer, is he" mo. he's o doc
tor. I'm talking about green apples
now."-Yonkers Statesman.
Mrs. Dix-"When my husband and
quarrel we never allow the children
to witness it" Mrs. Hix-"why, how
in the world do you manage itfs4 Mrs.
Dix-"We always. send them out-of-
doors, so they can hear nothing Mrs.
Hix-"Oh, now understand. I've
often wondered why your children were
on the street all the time"-Chicago
News.
Boys haven't always great magma
ton, but most of them have a good
deal of tenacity. A man wishing to
make himself pleasant to the little
brother of his betrothed, told him to
! wish for something, and he would give
| 1t to him "a box of chocolates" said
the boy. what else?" asked the gen.
erous lover. Another box of choco-
lates.'' "Oh. but wish for something
else; you'd little stomach couldn't hold
all those chocolates" well, then"
answered the how ssanothar stomoch -