davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1899-10-08
by the FootIiEhts.

Chicago News: The funny man appears
on the stage with huge red handkerchief
before his face.
"What's the trouble. Percy?" inquiries the
orchestra professor.
'It's that awful hay fever. Gussie. Pays
me, right. too"
How does it pay you right, Percy?"
why, l went and married a grass
widow"
Then the thunder OF the gallery gods vi.
brates through the house.
Omaha daily bee., 1899-10-08
An ObIiging Husband.

Albany Journal: THAT husband of mine
never did appreciate a joke" said one
woman to another.
"Why, how is that?" asked her friend.
MRS. told me this joke the other
day." said she "'Why don't you get IL
cents worth of borax?' asked: What for?
and she replied; why, for 10 cents Wher
I went home I sprung It on John. said
John, Why don't you get 10 cents worth OF
bOraxF He mads no reply, but went out
and shortly returned with small package
said: What Is that?' and he replied
Why, that's the 10 cents worth OF borax yor
wanted John never did appreciate joke
Omaha daily bee., 1899-10-08
FAMOUS LEADER OF A NATION
Character Study of the President Of th
Republic Of Mexico.
FINEST PRODUCT OF SPANsH-AaEsIcA
A Career More wonderful Than that
of Any Hero of Fiction-Re-
marknble Results of His
Rule In Mexico.

Copyright by the S. s. Mcclure Co, 1899
(This character sketch Of President Diaz
becomes especially Interesting in view Of
his recent intention to visit this country.
The Illness OF Sonora Daz, whom Mr..
Lumms refers to as the idol Of the Mexican
people, to whom she is affectionately known
as "Carmetita," prevented President Diaz
from carrying out his plan and necessitated
the sending of representatives instead OF a
personal visit.)
Omaha daily bee., 1899-10-08

The arithmetic has such an overwhelming
majority in it's following that it would
doubtless be- unwise to question 1t. Yet one
may sometimes be pardoned for a silent
incredullty 1880 from 1899 seems, accord
ing to the best text books at my command,
TO leave" 60; and do not believe any
man will see Porflrio Diaz without running
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30

Little lips now shut so fast,
Lips no human word hath past;
Sealed ears that never heard
Rush of river, song of bird.
Eyes that were too tired to look
At life's wOnd'rOus picture-bOOk,
Senses fine what have We found
Sweet in speech and sight and sound
What new earth and sky and sea
Dawns, o Baby-sOul, to thee,
We would like to give credit for
the above poem if we knew to
whom credit was due. It was
copied from one of Bertha M.
Clay's novels and handed to us
with the signature of one of our
boys; and the assertion that it
was written for The PRISON MIR
RoR. Now [ am very sorry to
know that any one should attempt
to impose upon us; if that should
go into print above the signature
of one not entitled to the credit
of writing it, it would throw dis
credit both upon The MIRROR
and those having it in charge.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30
<.doK|fQ|'4!!8 EK'e!X'|6lSxs:

The editor of The PRISON MIR
RoR has lost his job and there are
people IN this town who would
very much like to see us be his
successor. Grand Rapids Magnet
Bro. Anstead you should con-
slider the wish highly compliment
airy. Not everyday ninny can oc-
cupy the tripod here with the same
abandon as on the outside. This.
is another case where Ignorance.
is bliss
Warden Wolfer of the State.
penitentiary, says he is obliged to-
hire stenographers on account of,
the rush orders for Irvine. He
also says that stenographers are.
not sent there. Mighty good class
of people, those stenographers..
How about The MIRROR; have to-
hire any help there, Warden?-
Zumbro Falls Independent.
Just at present we have a suf-
ficiency of printers, including
devils The Irvine industry has
somewhat swamped us with job
work, but we hope it will let up
enough so as to enable us to get
another look at the snow before it
leaves. We are sorry that we
can't accommodate you just at
present. Still there are quite a
number of good openings here in
other pursuits besides printing.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30

oxberience cooms und l vas pegin-
ing to dink dot I have dem ma
sheens town bat, When Won shust
follows dere ouder und shumps
shump, und instead uf making pig
long strings id vas holdings put
fiddle vones.
Shentlemans dhose masheens
vas making me pughouse. When
dot Teller cooms CUP und see dem
small strings, he looks Ply me NIT
eyes dot vas bullying, und i'd vas,
no GHOST story when [ say dot
me.- nair still goes CUP When [
dink uf dot. Ply shemminies id
vas mein pellet dot dhose ma
sheens vas hipnodized. I pelieve
dot superdishun vas respon seabill
for more dings dhen she vas given
credit. Now dere tuck in dere
vadder vas superdishous, und when
id sees sumone COON py nit a
stick, dot tuck drinks id vas loaded
und i'd skiddadles two cupple
dimes qvick already. When dot
weller looks Ply me l expect dot
dem masheens will pecoom hipno-
died und slump.
Noder dime he cooms py mein
blaze und see dere bessbirashun
und oxershun [ vas making, und
got in hemmel What a lovely
penoovolent scmile he wears vhen
he look Ply me und say:
carl, she vas cooming pooty
veil und dem farmers vas all pc
cooming habby, SO you pedder not
work so hard. for de bossibilleties
vas dot you vas run town pefore
dot raformadory blan she vas run
oudt. Carl, shust look de ouder-
way two cupple dimes, und dink
What fader would say Ply dot
Now, mein trends, oxberience
she cooms, und dem masheens,
obey shust makes neinself scmile'
When dem pig strings cooms oudt,,
shust like mein droubles in dis,
country, mitoudt end. Yah, dot:
divine she cooms along shust like
dere peer comes oudt When deres
bolidishun vas ABROAD. When mein
dime runs oudt [ dink I go py
der Faderland und dell fader sum
dings What makes his eyes stick
oudt like Obey vas FOOTBALLS, es-
becially When I dells him What pig
possibilities dhere oxist py dis
country unter dere raformadory
blan. CARL VEDDER.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30

a contributor to The MIRROR, and
read before a meeting of the
Pierian Chautauqua Circle of the
prison, before being published.
Now, there is no excuse for the
"Gem" having made mistake, for
the letter was distinctly Tabled:
"Paper read before the Chautauqua
Circle.''
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30
TO INMATES.

For the information of new arrivals and all
others desiring to send THE MIRROR to friends
we wish to say that the privilege will be granted
by complying with the following rules: Write
out your own name, register ana cell number
and send to this ofits with name and address
Of person to whom paper is to be sent. All
papers must be kept clean and folded in the
same manner as it is when you receive it and
placed in your door every Friday night. All in
mates are requested to comply with this order
whether sending out copy or not.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30

GIVE SOLICITORS WANTED EVERY
"A where for ''rhe Story of the Philippines
by Murat Halstead, commissioned by the
Government as Official Historian to the War
Department. The book was written i'm army
camps at San Francisco, on the Pacific with
General Merritt in the hospitals at Honolulu.
in Hong Kong, in the American trenches at
on the deck of the Olympia with Dewey, and in
the roar of battle at the fall of Manila Bonan-
ia for agents. Brinlful of original pictures
spot Large book. Low prices. Big profits.
Freight paid. Credit given. Drop all trashy
unofficial war books. Outfit free. Address, F.
T. Barber, Secy., Star Insurance Bldg, Chicago
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30

For the past week or more we
have missed Mr.. Stilky's genial
face from between the gates, his
duties having called him to other
parts of the prison.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30
PASSING EVENTS.
BY HANS MILLER,

A perusal Of the correspondence
between Perry Belmont and Hon.
w. j. Bryan, anent the Jeffersoni-
an banquet, proves that the latter
is true blue and tempered to the
core. So far, Bryan com"ands the
respect of the masses, and is as
uncorruptable as is the white
heecy snow that is neither con-
trolled by trusts or corporations.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30

Maj. Benner accompanied a
party of friends through the prison
on Friday of last week. The
steward is quite another person
when Invested for a short time
Of the gravity of office.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30

Geo. d. Macarthur and A. L..
Macarthur of Blue Earth City Wis
tied the prison one day last week.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30

then were gone; but like the me-
lody of a song, the sense of their
presence fingered and seemed in
some way to have made the place
purer and better.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30
CHURCH NOTICE.

Services in the Prison Chapel at 800 O'Clock
every Sunday morning. Protestant and
Catholic services every alternate Sunday.
Rev. S. j. Kennedy. and Rev. FIR. CORCORAN
chaplalnS.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30

Master Willie S. Taylor of Dun
das left his signature on our reg
lister last Monday.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30

Last Sabbath being Palm Sun
day, those who attended chapel
were reminded of what was due
on that day to the memory of the
Savior. The Rev. Father Corcoran
conducted the services in his usual
pleasing scholarly manner.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30

1.-THE Gopher edited by the
pupils of the High School at
Mankato came to our table this
week for the first time. It is pleas
ing to the eye, and has the mark
of unusual literary taste.
Come again.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30

woman shall take OFT her hat on
entering a church, still wakes
warm in New York. If this Quix-
otto idea should prevail, the
churches will be the }ooser. It
will be a clear case of killing the
goose that lays the golden eggs.
"The white mans burden" as
applicable to American expansion,
leads one to think that the Amer
lean white man goes long way to
get his load.
When a man is first elected to
public Office, he is as careful in
his actions as is a committee in
laying corner stone.
Number thirteen is again doing
a little business among the super
stitious in Chicago. The latest
victim was window washer. He
was employed on the 18th Of the
month; was twenty six years old,
and met his death while washing
windows on the thirteenth story.
He was employed just thirty-nine
days, and on the day Of his death
he met thirteen policemen; was
dunned by thirteen different men
and drank thirteen beers with
thirteen different men in thirteen
saloons.
While nothing worse than dis
sension arises in the British cabi-
net, in Germany's Reichstag
stencil arises that smells like eth
er dead rats or imberger cheese.
! CARL vEDDER UND HIS DROUBLES.
Friend Hans:-Vhen l cooms by
dis seallected coommoonetee, un-
ter dere raformadory blan, Elm
shentlemans NIT round prass put
tons shust dakes meinself around
und dells me sumdings apoudt dis
blaze.
Ply und py When NIT eberydings
[ meinself vas satisfied, und When
dere toctor mein bessbirashun und
bedegree in Won pig pook he dakes,
I goes Ply dere divine shop, over
dere NIT dem oder vellers, und
help make dem farmers habby.
When [ cooms dhere und hear
dem masheens boiler, l shust shtop
und dink apoudt What fader would
say when he drinks Carl dot noise
must shtand.
Veil, When [ considered dot
question pooty good, [ cooms py
dere conklueshun dot id goes NIT
dot raformadory blan. Mein pees-
mis- vas dhere, und alder dot shen-
tlemans dells me sum dings What
dot masheen vas capayabill uf do
ing NIT vingers und such dings, [
shust dhrow Won Whole heart und
eberydings in mein peesnis.
Poorly soon mein close vas smok-
ing NIT oxershun und mein insides
vas feeling as i'd wanted two cup
pie Spandards to fill dot hole.
Apoudt dis dime dot Teller NIT
dem round prass buttons cooms
CUP und say:
"Carl, vas eberydings alliright?"
"Vell, [ dink not
When [ say dis dot teller vas
looking shust like I vas looking
when 1 vas CUP Ply dere ea.barty
for dere first dime-bale, week und
excited. Dhen he say:
$50. Sop
Eyes, I dink dere vas sum drou-
ble?''
'Vhere und What vas dot drou-
ble?"
dot masheen she vas running
putty smooth, put When [ dink
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30

Total population, SIP.
Males, 5O2; Females, 10.
Discharged during the past
week, 6.
Received, l. ~ 'r "-~~-- $50 >>s
Grade standing as follows: first,
BAT; second, $50; third, Is.
Erick Strundlund; Rock County,
grand larceny second degree, two
years and two months.
The last song the choir rendered
before the Legislature in chapel
hall was: "We don't care if you
never come back"
The following is the program Of
the Pierian Chautauqua Circle as
rendered last Sunday:
Song.
"Just Behind The Times" Observation-Disclosures.
By Member of Glass F
Paper.
Day Dreams. ..............By Member of Glass A
Recitation. ................By Member of Glass E
Chorus.
johnny Howard" BY Pierian Glee Club
Paper.
Europe in the 10Th Century. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.
by Member of Glass B
special Paper.
The Scarlet Thread in Modern Literature ...
BY Member of Glass F
Violin Solo.
"ManZanillO" ............ BY Member of Glass A
Mock Congress.
The numbers we're all we'll rem
dered, but we are sure that most
of those present found especial
pleasure in the pathetic solo:
"Just behind the times,' by the
member of class F, in the Rousing
chorus, by the Glee club, and the
beautiful @Manzanillo," by our
First land only Violin"
Our chaplain will preach a
special Easter Sermon in the
chapel next Sabbath. A special
effort too has been made to have
the music appropriate to the &C.
casion.
We thank the Industrial School
Gem of Louisville, KY, for re-
publishing "Gooley's Letter." but
we would have felt better about it..
had they given credit where it be-
longed. Some of the characters in
it, such as Hans Miller, Nugget
Joe, and even Cooley himself, are
creations of our own peculiar insti-
tutional fiction, and there is a
feeling among the inmates here of
joint proprietorship in them.
"Gooley's Letter. was written by
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30
o o o
DOT DOG OF BENNER'S,

Oh who sneakS round ven been out
Und take de pest plug in his mout.
Und gift it to his pal, no doubt?
Dot dog of Benner's.
On, vas iss das shoots down der street.
Und make his tail between his feet,
Shust like der tuyfel he will beat?
Dot dog of Benner's.
Und efery day he cry so hard,
Und sings xii down in de yard,
drinks he sure vas kill Won guard
Dot dog of Benner's.
Las week dink he sure vas dead.
For rocks und dings flew by his head,
Still not q verd he didn't said
Dot dog of Benner's.
Und ven so quiet in der bed,
Dem softly dreams comes by my head.
Who spells dat spiel to wake de dead?
Dot dog of Benner's.
Who ven he comes again dis way,
Und hears Hans Miller hat his say,
Viii nit a plack eye 60 away
Dot dog of Benner's.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30

PRISON OFFICIALS.
MANAGERS.
B. F. NELSON, President Minneapolis
EDWIN DUNN, EyOta
F. W.TEMPLE, Blue Earth City
A. WEISS, Duluth
DAVID BRONSON, saltwater
RESIDENT OFFICIALS.
HENRY WOLFER, Warden
T. w. ALEXANDER, Deputy Warden
GEO. BIXBY. Clerk
B. j. MERRILL, Physician
MISS MARY MCKINNEY, Matron
8. j. KENNEDY, Protestant Chaplain
CHARLES CORCORAN. Catholic Chaplain
PRISON AGENT.
#. A. WHITTIER, St. Paul,
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30
IT. itten for The Prison Mirror.
THAT MANSION.

The Prison Mirror.
THAT MANSION.
Down the river
Not far away,
There's a mansion
SO they say;
A mansion large,
That's very true,
Its population
Is quite few.
To that mansion
Many do go;
They must behave
Thus and so.
Clothed in a suit
OF little checks.
Looks quite funny
To rubber necks.
In the morning
At half past five,
They must role out.
If Still alive;
Then to dining room
must 60,
SIT like dummies
Thus and so.
In the dollhouse
They stand in a row,
They get too gay
Up they 60;
At the hospital
On the hill,
Are little rooms
Dark and still.
In the shops
There's lots of work;
Do their best
They cannot shirk;
On the stand
There is a screw,
All the time
A watching you.
If they disObey,
They'll get a report,
At half past four
They 60 to court.
Deputy Warden
In the chair,
Calls them down
For coming there.
In their cells
Every night,
Lots of bugs
They must fight.
Hit them hard
On the head,
One good crack
Kills them dead.
Day by day
The time goes past,
And their bit
Is done at last.
Say to the warden
At the door,
Good by, Henry,
! want no more.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30

Theo. Shuman visited the prison
last week.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30

Mr.. McFall is between the gates
in capacity of gate keeper. The
serene gravity and dignity Of his
bearing is worthy of a higher cal
ling
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30

Mr.. George Weld accompanied
by his son Prof. Weld of our
night-school, visited the prison
last week. The two little daugh-
ters of the Professors we're of the
party, and their sweet faces glad
dened the Office for moment and
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30

His highness, the Washington
correspondent, failed to cover the
whole gamut in his remarks to-
ward your humble servant, Hans
Miller. When he was "jugged"
we fastened on to Washington to
lend material assistance; but i'm
agine our surprise when we found
that the~charge was for trying to
kidnap a few anti-expansionists.
The outlook was serious; for they
we're all eighteen caret goldbugs,
with frizzles on their drawers,
corsets lined with diamonds and a
pedigree that was as mummified
as their conscience. Diplomacy,
however, with the aid of our Popu-
list friends. saved him. The po-
lice took a snapshot at his mug,
and he now accuses us in assisting
them by engaging him of con-
versation. Hence the threat to do
us bodily injury.
One of the astronomers of the
Lick Observatory reports that
while observing the outer edge of
the planet Mars. he saw man
looking downward with both hands
on his nose.
1t is said that the great trouble
in getting the Cubans to settle
down, is the fear they have that
the United States will feed them
on some of that canned beef of
war fame.
1t surprises me that a shrewd
soldier like Gen. Miles, whose age
and experience should have taught
him otherwise, that among the
imposslbilities in this country, is
that of convicting a shark.
A gentleman by the name Of
Knott has been admitted to the
bar in Kentucky. They should
have passed him up, for the law is
knotty enough as it is.
Because a policeman dies from
bright disease, it doesn't follow
that he has been shrewd official.
Investigating committees are
getting to be fat things. It don't
depend so much on what they find
as it does on what they get for
finding nothing.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-30

Our chaplain will preach a
special Easter Sermon in the
chapel next Sabbath. A special
effort too has been made to have
the music appropriate to the &C.
casiOn.
The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-10-04
MADE A sERcEANT.s
Private Chamberlain Promoted 3,
Capt. Gresham.

The local marine recruiting office bore
off the palm in the recruiting service
yesterday, being the only office to swear
in recruits for the service of Uncle Sam.
At the office in the Walker building,
four were accepted and as many reject
ed, while the volunteer station conduct
ed by Lieut.. M. e. Morris, had quite a
number of applicants, but all were re-
jected.
Capt. Franklin j. Moses, Jr., mus
tered in Howard Workman of Schnect-
ady, N. Y, at the marine office. Wort
man formerly served with the Second
New, York volunteer infantry. After
being mustered in, he was sent to Bos-
ton Sergt. Edward F. Larkin reject
ed two applicants, and DIR. James e.
McGourty rejected one at the marine
office.
Al the regular army recruiting station
in the Walker building, the following
applicants were successful in passing
the required physical examination: Jos.
Noel, 10 Grosvenor street; Joseph Rom
eeau, North Brookfield, formerly of Co.
M of the Fifth Massachusetts; John N.
stone of this city, and Adolphus Bis
sonett of North Brookeld, formerly
OF battery F of the Second artillery.
These men will all be mustered into the
Forty-sixth regiment OF volunteers, to-
morrow, by Capt. John c. Gresham, and
sent to South birmingham. Private
James e. Chamberlain is to get a de-
served advancement in rank, he having
been raised to sergeant by Capt Gresh-
am on his last visit to this city. He
VIII wear the chevrons of a sergeant
in the heavy artillery, which are Of q
bright red. Sergt. Chamberlain will
have charge of the local office. in the
absence of Sergt Paul Gerber. who is
to open recruiting station in Webster.
Capt. Gresham expects that Sergt. Ger
Der will secure many recruits in Web
ster that being his home, he enlisting
from that place to go with the Sixth
massachusetts,, with whom he served
during the Porto Isican campaign
Lieut.. NJ. E. Morris was about at the
Front street volunteer office Yesterday
afternoon, very much improved after
ms recent attack of malaria, though
still suffering the after-effects of the
chills and fever. He rejected ten appli-
cants for various reasons. DR.. j. p.
McGourty rejected two applicants for
failure to come llp to the physical re-
qulrementS.
The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-10-04
BLUE JEANS"
An Old Favorite Blooms Once More at
the Worcester Theatre.


the Worcester Theatre.
Blue Jeans is one of the compare
lively few melodramas that have a
license for existence. Its atmosphere is
SO quaint and home-like, its language
so natural, It's characters such whole
some, simple people that the spectator
is won to interest and sympathy at
once The play may be called an "Old
Homestead of the middle west, for,
like that renowned idyl of domesticity,
it depends more on character drawing
than plot for it's success. There is a
sort of plot, to be sure, and 1t is CO.
Ierently maintained to the close; but
the playwright evidently considered his
story a secondary matter. if not indeed
as a joke Each act ends with a soul
stirring climax with the leading char
acters laboring under the most I'M
heard of difficulties; but when the spec
tator finds the folks all as happy as
CLAIMS at the beginning Of the succeed
ing scenes, with all the preceding
calamities calmly ignored, he naturally
doesn't feel the reality of any SUISSE
quent sufferings so keenly as he other
wise might But blue Jeans is a de-
lightful play all the same, and has been
a big favorite here since 1891, when it
was booked for week at the Worces-
ter Theatre with Laura Burt and Law
renee Hanley in the leading parts, sup
ported by a superb company.
The familiar features were as natural
as ever last night-the Rising Sun
brass band, with its expert drum ma
jor, the pet calf, later to appear "a
smoking ruin, as the chief feature of a
barbecue; the thrilling rescue Of the
hero from the horribly realistic. buzz
saw; the Christmas tree, and the dozens
of others, all contributing their quota
to the evenings amusement. The sub
ordinate characters were well taken,
though some of the principals were not
all that could be desired. Anna Holl-
niger made a strong Sue Eudaly, and
seems to be the star Of the company.
The play Win be repeated tonight and
should not be missed. especially by
those who have never yet seen 1t.
The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-10-04
TIE FIRST RACE.

1t is disappointing that the first race
between the Columbia and Shamrock
should not have teen finished within
the time limit, but even under the I'M
satisfactory conditions, it seems to
have been proved that each yacht is
Well worthy of the boasts made con-
corning her. and that there will be no
lack of excitement in any of the races
so long as the wind holds out Ac-
cording to the dispatches. the boats
sailed for long stretches, neck and neck
as it were, and when one took the lead
it was only for a short period, for she
was speedily overhauled and passed by
her rival.
1t must be left to the expert Wit
snessses to say what are the lessons and
probabilities to be derived from this
unfinished contest, but despite the
serene and unreasoning confidence Of