The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1899-08-04
En- ROUTE. May "a, 1899.

| To the Mothers-in-law:
Your MAJEsTIEs-I have always bud
| great charity for the mistakes of Adam,
| because he had no mother-in-law to
curb him. If she had been there the
| fort id len fruit would not have been
| eaten. All the world would now be
paradise; the women would still be
| dressing in sunshine, and the men
would still be clad in climate. All the
/ ills we now endure are the fruits of sin;
! all sin is the outgrowth of the first
| transgression, and the first transgres-
| sion was committed because there was
no mother-in-law in Eden to forbid it.
| Satan would have kept his distance if
Adam had been a sOn-in-law; and even
| after man had fallen, the Lord saw that
he was prone to fall still lower. and so
| he provided the third person, singular,
and named her ''mOther-in-law," to be
his guardian angel and watch him day
and night. But it has been the habit
! of malicious men from time immemorial
to speak disresPe ;tfully of the dear old
| SIC ttcled angels and to refer to them
as the embodiment of tyranny and the
| personIficat.on of terror
once heard of a man who said that
his principal possessions in this world
were an appetite and a mother-in-law,
and that he had never been able to sat
isfy either
\ crowd of boys dragged cannon
down to the river one Fourth of July
and b gan TO celebrate the anniversary
of the Declaration of Independence by
| firing across the stream. a man came
run n ne, with his hat off and his hair
! floating in the air, shouting at the top
of his voice: stop shooting, boys; for
the Lords sake, stop shooting!" What
do you wish us to stop shooting for?7
asked the boys; and with a voice
| trembling with fear, he shouted back
to them: My mother-in-law got
drowned there yesterday, and l am
afraid you will raise her"
have frequently heard it said of sad
and subdued-looIing men, as l have
passed along in life, that they were suf-
fering with a bad case of mother-in-
law. 1t has come to pass almost every
where that if the maternal ancestor of
the wife even suggests to the husband
in the tenderest tones of voice and the
most affectionate language that he
ought not to do thing, he is sure to do
it, ont of fear of public opinion; or if
she urges him to do a thing he leaves it
URdJac to prove to the world that he is
not ''bossed" by his mother-in-law. All
this abuse and all these vicious attacks
on the mothers of our wives are mean
and contemplate, and a direct re-
Election upon our wives themselves.
The sweetest and purest and best
woman | ever saw, except my mother
and my wife, is my mOther-in-law.
Her life has been sacrifice to the hap
pincss and comfort of her children, and
50 it is with most mothers-in-law. In
nine eases out of ten it could be appro-
priately and truthfully said that she is
suffering from a bad case of sOn-in-
law. If a man is unkind, or even
neglcctful of his wife, he is pretty sure
to hear from the mOther-in-law; that is
right. If he fails to provide for his
family, she has right to look at him
over the tops of her spectacles and
make the kings English crack like a
tonly spends his evenings away from
his own fireside and comes home with
snakes in his boots, she has a right to
stick her nose in his business" and her
fists in his face, and it is her divine
right to lay down the law" to him.
l think it glorious ing for society
that weall-minded and guilty men are
afraid of their mOthers-in-law. Other
wise many a home would be turned into
hades, and many a sweet and gentle
spirit wOIld be crushed; many family
of little children would suffer. and
many a son-in-law who now walks in
the straight and narrow path" would
he Il worthless vagabond in the cutters
and tho slums of earth.
The rother-in-law is the cOnServator
of the peace. and not its disturber, as
many bad men would make it appear.
She is the Goddess of Liberty enlight
ening the little world within the four
walls of home: she is the Minerva of
the hearthstone; Jove is enthroned
upon her brow, and the Furies sleep in
her eyes. Woe betide the son-in-law
who transgresses the law of Jove. for
then the righteous Furies wake and
leap like forked lightnings into the
face of the transgressOr, and he is left |
in the condition of the man who went |
out West. News came back to his |
father: Your son is dead" The old |
man telegraphed Immediately, Send |
me his remains;" and received this re-
ply: They hain't no remains; a cyclone |
struck him"
But to the man who does his faithful |
duty to his family, his country, and His |
God. the mother-in-law is a thing of |
beauty and JOY forever" She nurses |
his children and cares for them, she /
stays with them at night while he and |
his wife are at the party; she nurses /
him when he is sick and makes him |
swallow his medicine on time. and cuts /
off all com municatiOn with the outside !
world till he is we'll again. If his cred |
itors become too numerous and annoy |
ing. she stands guard at the door and |
hedges it about with fire and brim-
stone She is the cornerstone of the I
church and the leader of the Ladies
Aid Society" she is the president of |
the Busy Bees and the recording sec
rotary of the Daughters of the Revo-
lution:" she is the grand regent of the /
Daughters of the Confederacy" and
the SuOuSOl. of the Grand ARMY of the