The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-01-12
HITS AND STRIKES.

The populist legislature of Kansas
has passed a resolution permitting a
certain Bob Lytle to operate a boot
black stand in its cloakroom, and pro-
hibiting all other boOtblacks from ply
ing their vocation in the legislative
neighbOrhood. Thus the hydraheaded
octopus of monopoly stalks abroad in
the land and franchises are recklessly
given away which will enslave the PEG.
| pie of Kansas if it should ever decide
to have its shoes shone in the sancti-
fled precincts of Topeka.
IS.
"There is a man in this town who
has at the last accounts broken up two
homes-the last one as happy as any in
the land" says Wilkin county paper
| Well, statistics are a good thing in
their way. If I were free man l
could be engaged to deliver a lecture in
that town on "The use to which buck
shot may most profitably be put"
Xxx
| IT Roberts of Utah is unseated it
may lead to international complica-
tions, as it may be taken as a blow
aimed at the triple alliance.
Xxx
"NOw tell me-" said the Sunday
school teacher, "why did the whale
throw up Jonah?"
| After considerable hesitation John.
ny Dumphy finally volunteered the in
formation that Jonah was probably
tough old pelican"
| ###
Mr.. Brice of Ohio had 100000 in
surance. His death is very much re-
GREETED by the insurance men.
| *
An Elgin paper says: "Every day
new heroes are being made" 1t may
be so, but | don't see how my Elgin
friend is able to foretell the destiny of
the unborn children.
***
| n w CoCCIlI PopCl III commenting OIl
a play presented in its town, says it
was SO bad that it was decided to vac
cinate all who attended.
~
| This is an age of surprises. An
Omaha electric company has vOluntar-
| lily reduced its charges-from 900 to
500 volts.
Xxx
| n Cleveland paper, some years ago
in reporting the annual meeting of the
stockholders of the Standard Oil Co..
gave out the information that ga ma.
jOrity of the sharks were represented"
A compositor was suspected of having
changed the sc" IN shares to ok" but
it could not be proved.
*
If it should be proved that the beef
furnished the soldiers in Cuba was not
properly embalmed, the undertakes
should certainly be held responsible.
~
One dead man had an application
| for a pardon in at this weeks meeting.
1t was probably referred to a higher
court.
Xxx
A Massachusetts paper advocated
that the morals of the female members
of theatrical companies be inquired
into by committee of leading citizens
before the public opera house was let
to them. Within the next week the
paper received offers from II ministers,
IL lawyers and three doctors, besides
most of the business men of the city to
act on the said committee.
Xxx
If any OF you boys should receive
any candy or bromo-selzer by mail,
why, try it on friend first.
XXX
The proposal by hybrid congress-
man from North Carolina to pension
the ex-Confederate soldiers was an un-
called for insult of the gallant follow
ers of Robt. E. Lee. Nobody but
demagogue would offer legislation the
consequence OF which could not fail to
reopen fast healing wound.
Xxx
A court in one state has just decided
that boycotts are illegal. At the same
time a court in another state decided
that a combination of railroads for