Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1899-04-14
HUMOR OF LUNATICS.
AsANE MANS EXPERIENCE IN AN IN
SANE ASYLUM.

L infendent
al never knew until L went out to
| California this time that insane people
| have a powerful sense of humor, said
| a Washin gtonian who recently returned
| from a trip to the coast. II confess that
| I've always found a morbid sort of in
terest in going through noted insane
| asylums, and so 1 armed myself with
| the proper credentials in San Francisco
| and went up TO Napa county to have a
| look over the splendid asylum for the
| insane there Inasmuch as wanted to
see a few things without the attention
| of a guide, didn't present my letters,
but just rambled around the beautiful,
spacious grounds for awhile 1 hadn't
spent three minutes examining the ex
traordinary rose gardens in trent of the
main asylum building before a tall,
slender young man, well dressed and
exceedingly well groomed, emerged
from a clump of oleander trees and ap-
preached me.
Taking a look around, eh2'' said
he to me.
" Yes, said. Il only arrived here
few minutes ago, and I'm taking the
liberty of nosing about without any
official guidance.
90 Well the tall young man said,
pleasantly, Il don't suppose / fall out
of the classification "official guidance,
seeing that / am the assistant superin-
tendent here. yet / should be pleased to
show you about and at the same time
try not to place any restraint upon you
by my awe inspiring presence.
''Well. the young chaps manner was
so pleasant and winning that l could
only thank him for his kindness, and
we started over the grounds We
hadn't gone far before middle aged
man, also well dressed and well groom
ed, appeared some distance in front of
us down the gravel walk, and he beck
oned to my companion. The young
man excused himself courteously and
went up to the middle aged man. The
two conversed earnestly together for
few minutes, and then, linking arms,
what do they do but coolly walk off,
leaving me standing there in the mid
die of the gravel path, good deal nom
plused.
a. Surprised over the way they de-
serted you? said voice right back of
me. You mustn't mind little thing
like that, though. Both of those men
are as crazy as looms
IT turned around and there, stand
ing behind hedge about ten feet to my
rear, was a little old gentleman. neatly
dressed in black, and with a quizzical
smile on his features.
'.Surely, L said, you cannot mean
that that rational speaking. pleasant
hammered young man who was conduct
ing me about the grounds is bereft of
his wits2'
' Mad as a March hare, repeated
the old gentleman fatty. Incurable
case. Harmless, but incurable. The
man that he went off with is also a
very sad case-very. Thinks he is the
Maharajah of Bludblud, or something
like that. But you mustn't mind 'em.
Lots of visitors are taken in the same
way. If you care to, I'll just show you
around. / am one of the board of visit
ors of this institution and just happen
to be here in my unofficial capacity to-
day
Much marveling over what the old
gentleman told me, 1 fell in with him,
and we rambled around the huge gera-
MUM arbors. and finally entered the
enormous glass building where the cul-
tivation of violets is carried on.
mice array of flowers, isn't it 2
the old gentleman inquired of me, wav-
ing his hand at the beautiful beds of
violets in bloom. Il am not Unfortunately
vain, my friend. hope you Will under
stand, and yet L cannot but congratu-
late myself upon the sintroduction of
this violet raising feature here, for 1
myself was responsible for it and only
succeeded in having this dollhouse con-
structed after enormous exertions with
the authorities of the institution
'I congratulated the old gentleman
upon the result of his labors and was
just about to ask him to take me into
the main building and introduce me to
the superintendent when he suddenly
excused himself, saying that he had
left his spectacles on a bench in the
gardens and would be back directly. /
waited for him for fully ten minutes,
but as he did not return 1 started on
out of the glass building
lyon didn't really expect him
back?' 1 heard voice say, and then
a pleasant faced man, dressed as la
borer and carrying a watering pot,
came from behind a group of palms
He spoke with Scotch brogue.
THE old gentleman You were with
is very bad up here, said the man with
the watering pot. touching his fore
head. He's been here for 20 years, and
he fancies he owns the place am the
head gardener here, and he tries his
best to run me. But he don't-no, sir,
he don't He can't. No crazy man can
run me. And the Scotchman went down
the length of the raised violet beds, wa
tering the plants
81 passed out of the glass building
and started for the entrance to the main
building. there to present my letters.
As was about to walk up the steps to
the entrance a man with side whiskers
and rather sharp. piercing eye walked
mp TO me-
lyon have business here?' he in
quired of ne in a rather sharp tone
Well. Thought he might be another
If ,..rr, and / lernt ri.-lit He fol-