Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-03-09
"Too Fresh"

! W
There is a slang expression about
being too fresh" said the drummer, as
h. lighted his cigar. 81 have adopted
that expression and written it at tn.
head of every page Of my notebook, Sc
that it will be constantly before me.
Last fall l changed cars at little
jnnction in the western part Of the
State. 1t is a dreary spot, and the
trains never connect within three hours
of each other. Finding time hanging
heavy on my hands l wandered over
to an orchard near by, where there
was some tempting-looking fruit. l
was so busily engaged in throwing
stones at luscious-loOking apple in
the top of one of the trees that I did
not notice an old farmer bearing down
where | was with blood in his eye.
When l discovered him it was too late
to fee, so I concluded to face it out.
Fine orchard you've got here, l
said, opening on HIM before he had a
chance to get the first word. 1T will
be pity to spoil it by running a rail-
road through it.
Hay said he.
4 remarked, said I, that it will be
a pity to spoil such a fine orchard by
by running railroad through it. l
am the general manager Of this road
and have been looking it over with a
view to straitening out some Of the
kinks. have about concluded to run
the road through your orchard and
thus get rid of the bad curve just be-
yond.
This disarmed the old man at once
and placed him in a more concilistory
mood.
General manager, be ys? said he.
Wal, come up ter the house an we'll
talk it over
l thought the old man had some
thing in the line of wet goods that he
wanted me to sample in the hope that
it might put me in good humor and
save his orchard. looked at my watch
and seeing that l had plenty of time
concluded to carry on the joke, so |
followed him up to the house.
AS We were passing brick smoke
house the old man threw the door open
and invited me to inspect fine lot of
hams that he had inside. | stepped
in the doorway, and as | did so the old
man gave me a shove that sent me IN
side upon my hands and knees. Be-
fore | could recover myself he had
thrown the door shut and locked it.
General manager, be YEP be bawled
througe a crack in the door.
7 didn't think il wise to deny 1t, 90
| shouted back that l was, and more
over that | would take pains to see
that the railroad ran straight through
his house.
Wal, we'll talk about that later,
said he. Member that thar bill that
I sent ye fer KILN them sheep
l truthfully replied that didn't.
Wal, said he, you'll stay where ye
ar till ye do. I've got ye jes' where
l want ye, an if ye don't pay me that
thar fifteen dollars that ye owe fer kill
in them sheep the railroad Is Solh
ter be short one general manager.
I tried to explain the true situation,
but he refused to listen. 1t was fifteen
dollars or stay where | was. While l
was arguing with the old man | heard
my train whistle mile or so off. |
had an important engagement to meet
and simply had time to catch that
train, so poked fifteen dollars through
the crack,
The old man unlocked the door and
was stepping out, when he suddenly
threw his weight against it.
Poke out so cents more' he
shouted.
What for l howled, as l heard
my train getting nearer and nearer.
Fer postage stamps that l wasted
writin ye about that thar bill.
Ididn't have time to argue the ques-
ton, 20 l poked out 80 cents more and
legged it for my trash. '-Ne1O York
Sun.
The instinct of Self Defense.