Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1899-09-15

Willie-Say, paw! Paw-Well? WI
de-Are freckles made by the shadows
VI the sunspots?-Cleveland Leader.
Father-How is 1t that you're such .
Ounce Mt your lessons, Tommy? Tom
MY expect it's neutrality-suspicious.
Traveller.
He-So you give me the mitten? She
Yes. He-And this is all? Shell
might throw in a few moth balls
Chicago Record.
Tommy-Paw, why ainO a prophet
IGNORED in his own country? Paw
Because people grow 80 tired Of hear
ing him say, II told you so."-Puck.
She-He says he loves me; yet he has
only known me two days. Hell Friend
Well, perhaps that's the reason,
dear.-Philadelphia North American.
what is his Names" 'That's a Sc
cret." "a secret? What do you meant"
Hes a Russian. and no one can pro-
nounce it but himself."--Town Topics.
Mrs. Jorkens, l saw you going into
Mrs. Brash's house today" Yes; but
I have no acquaintance with her at al;
just use her telephone."-Chicago
Record.
Did you know our horse baked yes
terday?" Gracious! What did you
doc" "Hitched an automobile to him
and dragged him homc."-Indianapolis
Journal.
WAS that Straightforward mans ex-
hibition successful, Mudge?' II think
SO. lent him a counterfeit half-crown
and he gave me back Il good one.'-
Tid-Bits.
How happy the Dabney-Joneses
look this evening. 1t must be their
wedding anniversary" "No; they've
got their old cook acS."-Detroit
Free Press.
"What is your definition of the word
'fad?" "a fad" said Miss Cayenne,
c%andidly, "is something which some
body else enjoys and i don't."-Wash.
ington Star. ),
How gray your hairs getting, dear!
1t used to be such a pretty black"
Yes, dear; and how red yours has
got. 1t used to be such a pretty black,
too!'-Funch.
Mr.. Penn-One physician says that
the tramp instinct is a disease. MIR.
Pitt-Does he recommend Il change Of
scene rs the remedy?-Pittsburs
Chroniclc-Tclegrnph.
Little ClarenceAPa, money talks,
don't it? MI. Callipers-I guess so, my
son. Little Ciarence-Well. then, pa,
gimme a penny, SOS 1 can hear it wills.
per to me a little.--Punch.
Bramble-So Jim Slopay is dead!
Well, we must all pay the debt of ma
ture some time or other. Thorne-
That's true. Slopay would have
lodged it If any one could.
''That hammock has a hoodoo his.
Tory" What is ity" ut has been
through six seasons mt the seaside with
the upjohn family. and not one of the
girls is married yet."-Chicago Trib-
',ne.
"She scorned all her wooers so long
that now she is doomed to be an old
maid for the rest of her lifc.' We'll,
that Gems like q just sentence for
such contempt of OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Bulletin.
Parent-Don't you know that the
great King Solomon said. Spare the
rod and spoil the child?" Bobby
Yes. but he didn't say that until he
was growed up.-New York Evening
Telegram.
Mrs. Stubb-I believe this is "a bad
quarter, John. Mr.. Stubb-Think so,
Maria! Well. then, l guess we'd bet
ter drop it in the church box. Perhaps
good company may reform it.-Chica-
so Daily News.
A young hopeful sat in the window q
long time the other night during Il
thunder storm and contemplated the
scene with n wise look on his face.
Then he turned and said: 1.-The an
gels are scratching matches OIL the
sky."-Household Words.
The Suburbanite's Limit.-Mrs. Her
mitage ION the evening trnim Il Won
der why the city department stores
won't deliver an order of goods free in
the suburbs unless it exceeds So worth?
Mrs. Isolate (ditto)-Well. they know
that q suburbanite can easily carry Sd
worth.-Puck.
"rlere's no use t~alkins." said tia
man who sat on the piazza looking
over his hotel bill, RIP Van Wrinkle
failed to appreciate his luck "Luck!!"
"Yes. Fancy 81 mans being allowed
to stay twenty years in the mountains
! without it's costing him Il cent?
/ Washington Star.
II guess I'll go to Washington" said
Meandering Mike. What fur!" 'Oh.
jes' to show myself and make things
cheerful. reckon mebbe the folks
| that examine applications for employ
ment in the census would be kind o.
happy to see somebody that wouldn't
have work even If he could get it,
Washington Star.
Old FOozle-So. my son, Won have