The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-07-13

hIcs - VI todiH's iA'hN7'
politics Is always singular. Indian.
ipolis Journal.
so old Yabsley is dead. Ell? Well,
we'll! Did he leave anything" Yes.
It broke his heart TO do il, but he left
everything. It'll Bits.
Vera Goodheart- Mrs. Won Tauk Is a
great social light. isn't she; lila
Nownee Well, rather Regular Four.
Hundred scandal-power.- lie.
Mrs. Captain Bragglngton My hus
band Won renown on the tented held
Sally Gay Why. didn't know he had
aver Travelled with circus. Puck.
In 1900: Teacher Willie. tell the
class about the batlle of San Juan.
Willie Up-to- Date-Whose story do you
want Shafter's or Davis? Brooklyn
Life.
Biggs.I once wrote for Sribbler'.
Magazine. Boggs Did yons Bggs
Yes; but they refused 10 send 1t 10 mt
unless | paid my subscription Ia ad
vanee.-Ex.
McFingle-Poor Broome, He's gone
over TO the silent majority. McFanglt
Why-l-w when did he's he dead
McFingle Well, no; but he's married.
Thrills.
"some day" said the high-browed
young man. Il expect 10 haye the
world at my feet What have YOU
been doing all this time" snared the
rynle; walking ON your hands, -
Washington Star
Mallaby Bragleigh boasts that nc
living man could forge his maine sue
cessfully 10 Il check and get II cashed
Has he such very peculiar signature
Homans- No: but he hasn't any money
In the bank.-Tit-B
Dobbs-There's man who shaves
several times day. Wiggin-Hon
don't mean it? Should think there d
be nothing left OF his face. Dobbs--
Ii doesn't hurt his face "a all. He Is
q barber. Harlem Life.
Il should like to know when you are
golaes TO pay that bill. | can't COME
here every day In tho week. What
day would suit you best "Satur.
day" Very we'll lien. You can call
every Saturday
Sehoolmaster-So. chen. the reptile Is
-arsereature which does not stand on
feet. aud moves along by crawling on
the ground. Can any one of you boys
name me such ereaturef Johnny
Please. sir. my baby brother.-rit-Biis
Colonel, you swear positively that
your regiment never received Il pound
OF elabalmed beef In Cuba. How Is ii
possible for You 10 be 50 absolutely
certain" Because my regiment never
got farther than Tampa. sir."-Detroit
Free Press.
"They's to be some kind OF musical
ioin's at our church next Wednesday
night. I've forgot what they call III
"AIebby It's a recital" no; reeltals Is
for pianos. Our church has got an or
gan. guess it's an orgy they're goin'
to have. Exchange.
Papa-See the spider my boy, spin.
ming his web. Is It not wonderful
Do you reject, try as he may, no man
could spin that web? Johnny-What OF
IL? See me spin this top! DO you re-
feet that. try as he may, no spider
could spin this topf-Household Words.
Would be Swells at the Opera: First
swell pretending 10 mistake for a
waiter rival whom he sees standing
n dress. clothes at the eloak-room OF
he theatep--Ah! have you a program
Second Swell tup TO snuffl-Thanks,
nv man. | got one from the other fell
low. Exchange.
Johnny" said teacher 10 South
side groceryman's 6-year-old. "a lie can
be acted as well as told. Now, II your
father would put sand in his sugar and
sell Il he would be acting lie and do
ing very wrong" That's what moth.
ar told him." said Johnny. lmpetuous-
~. and he said he didn't care. -
Columbus Journal.
Its hard to be happy. once you've
sot a reputation for saying sarcasti,
Rings" remarked the sad-eyed man
What's the troublef" I've lost an
other friend. | complimented him OF
being the most cool-headed person
ever saw. He took 1t as an alluslol
10 the fact that he is totally bald. =
Washington Star. .
Inyentor-Tye hit money making
thing at last. The preachers Will g
Wild over 1t. and II will sell Ike hot
cakes. It's a church contribution box
Friend What good is that? Inventor
IRIS triumph. The coins fall through
slots OF different sizes, and half-crowns
,hlllIugs and sixpences land on velvet
mi the pennies and half-pennies drol
an tn a Chinese gong.-Tit-B Bits.
The Lady-I'll give you good inca
n Won will cut up some of tiiat Wood
rhe Tramp-Sorry. but ! cant accom-
MEDIATE you, madam. The I.ady-Io
law 10 work, supposef The Tram
Tot that. madam, not that. | woul
no false to my trust. You see, I'm
member OF the Society for the fresei
Walton OF the American Forests an
Ne never cut any w"od.-f onker
Statesman.
An Irishman. in order to cclebrat
the advent of n new era weh' o''' on
lrtle lark. He did not get home UNI
2 o'clock In the morning. and was bare
~ I'm the house before nurse rushed
nm and. uncovering Il bunch Of sol
Goods showed him triplets. The Irish
an looked up at the clock. which sal
rnree. then at the three OF hlnu III IN
nurses arms. and said: "orm no
superstltions. but thank hisins that y
didn't come home at twiiYe"-Ex