davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26
WOMEN OPPOSE WOMEN.
The State of Affairs Said to Exist II
the Government Service.

The State of Affairs Said to Exist In
the Government Service.
"Why is it that women are practical
ly debarred from receiving promotions
to the higher places in the government
serviceT asked government clerk of
quarter of century's experience.
The question was put to several ladies
in the treasury department. Before
any one of them had time to reply the
questioner proceeded to answer his
own interrogatory.
''It is because they are held back by
members of their own SEX" he said.
Some time ago lady in one division
1 know of was so fayorably regarded
that she would have been made chief
of that division, but as soon as her
prospects became known her fellow
clerks Of the same sex became indig-
nant and united in protest They de-
clared that they could never work I'M
der her; that they would q thousand
times rather have man than a woman
to boss them. They wouldn't allow
her to lord it over them
THAT is only a sample of many
cases. Women can be depended upon
to antagonize women under such cir
cumstances. Not only did they do SO
in the case have cited, but they &C
tually gave the marble heart and the
Icy hand to this woman after they de-
feated her prospects Of promotion.
I am satisfied that one Of the most in
duential obstacles to women In their
effort to secure equal recognition with
men comes from their own sex"
The man who asked and answered
the question then moved off before his
audience OF lady clerks had an opportu-
Dity to reply to his assertions.-Wash-
ington Star.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26

Let candle burn until it has a good
long snuff; then blow 1t out with sud-
den pun. A bright wreath of white
smoke will curl up from the hot wick.
Now, If a fame be applied to this
smoke. even at a distance Of two or
three inches from the candle, the fame
will run down the smoke and rekin-
die the wick in a very fantastic man.
ner. To perform this ceremony nicely
there must be no draft or banging
doors while the mystic spell is rising.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26

There are trees which would seem to
substantiate the theory of some sci
entists that there is no reason why a
tree should ever die unless destroyed
by unfavorable conditions or accident.
The oak, for example, will live as a
sapling for ages until given opportu-
nifty for growth. There is an old say
ing to the effect that If pine forest is
cut down an oak forest will grow,
and this Is said to be literally true.
Many Of the acorns carried into the
pine woods by birds and squirrels are
left to sprout in the ground. AS the
tiny saplings grow browsing natives
of the forest shades nibble off their
tender leaves. Again and again new
leaves are put forth, only to serve as
food for hungry deer or moose or 9th
er marauding creatures. And SO, hid
den from sunlight, deprived, as it
would appear, of every essential of
life, the little plants live on, and when
at last the pines are felled and the sun
light reaches them they begin their era
of growth.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26

Jolly old Santa CLAUS Is never 4
cross.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26
lne of the Hardest Things For the
Gymnast to Do.

GymnRst to Do.
1.-THE thing found hardest to learn
IN my business was to SMILE" said a
professional gymnast who did very
clever speciality recently at one Of the
local theaters. Il started out In aero
batic work when was only Is years
old as one of family of five. My
instructor was Charles Mcdonald, an
old time circus performer and one of
the best of his day. While he was put
ting me through my PAGES he was
continually yelling: Look pleasant!
Look pleasant And my main trouble
for years was in following that same
order.
mo matter how hard tried | would
forget myself, and when was doing
an extra hard turn | was certain to
make horrible faces. screw up my eyes
and grit my teeth 1t took all the eff
feet out of my act and must have
seemed very funny to the people in
the audience. Often, after performing
some difficult feat, l have been morti-
fed to hear roar of laughter, and at
last l determined to either learn how
to smile or quit the business. l got
the knack at last and now it has be-
come a sort of second nature.
t'The point is great deal more i'm
portant than one would suppose. l
know an equilibrist, for instance, who
Is very popular on the vaudeville cir
cult, not so much on account of the
difficulty of his act as the smiling ease
with which it is apparently done. You
would never suppose from his face
that he was making any special exer
ton, and that of itself gives remarka-
BILE grace and finish to his work.
II am not the only one in the bust
ness, however, who has found it hard
to smile at the right time. Almost ev-
cry ballet dancer, eccentric character
dancer and skirt dancer has had trou-
BILE on the same score. Most of them
finally acquire horrible fixed grimace
that is supposed to be smile, but has
no more suggestion of merriment than
brick wall. 1t is produced by cult
waiting q certain set of muscles and
made to appear and disappear on the
principle Of pulling string. New Or
leans Times Democrat
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26
WHY SHE RESIGNED.
The Member of a WOman's Club Con-
founded the Two POpes.


The Member of Woman's Club Con-
founded the Two POpes.
"For the last year or SO my wife has
been ambitious to shine as a literary
light" said Smith, with a chuckle. Il
don't know how many clubs she join
ed, but II there were any that she did
not belong to it was because she had
never heard Of them.
"The other night while was read
ing my paper she interrupted me with
a request for light about something
that / did not catch except the word
pope.
"'Well,' said 1, looking over my pa
per.
az want to know about him. she con-
tinued. 4 must read a paper concern
ing him at our next literary meeting,
and do not know a single thing about
him. Who is hep
"'Do you mean to say said 1, that
you know nothing about the head OF
the Roman church,
a'Oh, of courseg she answered. How
stupid of me! can read all about
him in the encyclopedia
81 resumed my reading and thought
that ended it, but it didn't The 9th.
err night when returned home found
my wife in tears and before had time
to inquire what the matter was l was
called to account in II different kinds
Of keys.
"Well, when the storm was over
learned the truth. 1t was the poet
Pope and not the pope of Rome that
she was expected to treat upon, and
when she rose and read paper on the
pope 1t started row that did not end
with adjournment.
"But, seeing that she has resigned
from all the clubs and that the chill
dren once more have chance to gel
acquainted with their mother, do not
look upon 1t as q calamity. "-Detreit
Free Press.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26
MANAGING SMALL BOYS.
How Some Mothers Take All ths
Spirit Out of Them.

How Some Mothers Take All the
Spirit Out of Them.
81 am always made sorry when 1
ride in the cars, through the shopping
districts particularly" said the wo-
man to a newspaper man, ito see the
mothers Ill treat small boys. 1t is
ethical cruelty, but quite as disastrous
as physical i'll treatment might be, it
seems to me.
81 see poor little fellows of Z and s,
nice little men who would be manly If
they were allowed to be, pushed into
that seat and out of it into another as
If they were SO many little dummies.
They usually are very nearly that, for
seven or eight years of such pushing
and pulling is enough to take all the
spirit out Of small boy unless he
has unusual vigor of character.
"A boy of that age ought to be be-
ginning to look out for his mother and
finding seats for her. Occasionally a
sensible mother, who treats her boy
like human being, is to be found, and
1t is pleasure to see the two together.
''The boy who is dragged around like
a little muff during the early part Of
his life is apt to come to himself after
a time if he is not entirely ruined, and
then he goes to an opposite extreme, is
rude and self asserting, while he is try
ing to establish an equilibrium, and
the mother can't imagine what the
trouble is"-New York Times.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26
COULD BEAR A SHOCK.
He Wa. short ON Lungs, but Dee.,

He Was short ON Lungs, but Decid-
eddy Long on Nerve.
The young man was either an op
timist or the possessor of a harveyized
steel armor plated nerve. Perhaps he
was little of both.
A short time ago he came to the con
clusion that he would like to insure his
life. With this object in view he made
application to prominent company
After filing up the necessary form he
received an invitation to call upon the
medical officer of the company and
undergo the usual medical examina
ton. In due course he presented him
self at the office of the examining ply
stefan.
Requesting the young man to remove
his coat and vest, the doctor produced
stethoscope and began his examina
ton. All at once he stopped and re-
garded the candidate with an expires
sion Of alarm.
young man." he said, do you think
you can bear shockY
"Oh, / think SOP was the cheerful re
Spouse. Fire away and let me hear
the worst"
You have only one lung" announc
ed the doctor solemnly.
well, what of that?" retorted the
candidate, with the utmost composure
II never told you had any more
did IY'
What" exclaimed the doctor, "de
you mean to say you were aware Of
your condition.
"Of course l was. Do you suppose
man could have only one lung with
out being aware of the factT'
"And yet" said the doctor, you ap
ply to respectable company for poll
cy Of life insurance. Do you expect tt
get itT
II certainly do. Not only that, but
think ought to get it at a substantial
reduction in the premium"
Upon what ground, may askY'
Upon the ground that, having only
one lung, am 80 per cent less liable tt
contract consumption than If I hat
| two lungs. Rival
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26

Near where -Spurgeon's tabernacle
stands half dozen main streets all
meet at one point There is drinking
fountain there, which has stood there
for many years. 1t was one very hot
summers evening, and the drinking
fountain was in strong demand. I
wanted drink myself, and in happy
sort of way while waiting my turn l
said to some Of the people standing
by: Hurry up. Pm parched." Some
body patted me on the back and said:
THANK you, my man. You have given
me my text for tonight" 1t was Mr..
Surgeons text.
The guard added that he was on his
way to the tabernacle at the time,
and Spurgeon preached one of the I'm
est sermons he had ever heard on the
words: Hurry up. I'm parched."-
Home Magazine.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26
A STREET CAR COMEDY,
The Girl and Her Purse and Five
Smart Young Men.

The Girl and Her Purse ana Five
Smart Young Men.
As soon as the good looking girl en-
tered the car the five young men on the
opposite seat began surveying her with
critical eye, and she hadn't yet made
out whether the baldheaded man with
the medical magazine was to be In
cluded In the lot when the conductor
came In for his fare. The girl opened
her portemonnaie and began to take
out latchkeys, samples Of ribbon and
little memoranda in the usual way,
and the I'VE young men smiled, each
after his own particular style. Bald
headed was out Of it The girl didn't
see any of the smiles, but she caught
on Just the same. There was nickel
all ready for her fingers, but when one
pale faced young man added giggle
to his smile the nickel was thrust aside
for a 81 BILL She didn't hand it over
to the conductor as she fished 1t out;
but, leaning forward with winning
smile on her face, she began at the
head of the line and asked:
"Will you please be SO kind as to
change this bill for me?'
1t was impossible. A young man
with only a dime in his pocket has nc
show to bust a bill. The next one
had a quarter, but he had to decline
and so it went to No. 5. His hand
sought his pocket as his turn came
but it didn't. bring up any change
The smiles had been replaced by sheep
ish looks, and they rubbed elbows ano
trod on each others feet in trying tt
look out of the windows. There was
long minute Of painful suspense, ano
then the good looking girl handed the
bill to the conductor. She hadn't
word to say to the five young men who
had started out in life SO gayly, but ole
baldheaded had. When all was over
he turned half around and growled
out:
"If were you fellows, l wouldn't
try to be SO blamed smart next time
Philadelphia Press.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26

Is at all times to attend to the comforts OF
your family. Should anyone of them
catch slight cold or cough, call at once
on Wells & Son, Columbus; E. D. Prick.
lit, Mount Holly; W. c. Jones, New Egypt;
Edw. W. Rossell, Pemberton, and j. H.
Leeds, Rancocas, sole agents, and get q
trial bottle Of Otto Cure, the great Ger
man remedy, free. We give it away to
prove that we have sure cure for coughs
colds, asthma, consumption, and all dis
eases q tfe threat aid lungs. Largs ~
soc and ssc
Jolly old Santa Claus is never Kriss
cross.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26

others. He wants every man and woman
of his acquaintance to know about the
splendid remedy that brought him back
from sickness and encouragement to
sound and perfect health.
II had rheumatism for three months" says
Mr.. James E. Champion, of Sharpsburg Wash
ington Co., Md, in a recent letter to DR. R. v
Pierce, of Buffalo, N. Y. al couldn't walk at all
was in business in Baltimore. 1 tried the best
doctors could get but they did me no good 1
took three bottles of DIR. Pierce's Golden Medical
Discovery and it cured me sound
II came home to Sharpsburg and there were
three cases of different diseases / advised the
patients to use DIR. Pierce's medicine which they
did, and all were cured. / have sold one hun
dred dollars worth of your medicine by telling
people how it cured me.
You will find enclosed 81 one-cent stamps for
one of your Medical Advisers cloth-bound."
This grand Discovery is the most
perfect formula ever devised for the
complete and thorough renovation of the
blood from all unhealthy germs and
lurking taints of every name and nature.
Py making pure and healthy blood free
from bilious poisons it builds up strong
and active manhood and blooming at
tractive womanhood.
If out of health, write to DIR. Pierce.
He will send you good, fatherly, profess
sional advice without charge. See his
address above.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26

The late General Clinton B. Fisk was
once addressing Sunday school con
vention. One of the speakers had re
minded the children that it was Wash
ington's birthday.
Children" said General Fisk, ''yoU
all know that Washington was a gen
eral. Perhaps you know that I an
also general. Now, can any one tel
what was the difference between Gen
eral Washington and myselfY
81 know, sir" replied small boy In
the back part OF the room.
"Well, what was the difference2
said General Fisk. smiling at the lads
eagerness.
George Washington couldn't tell 9
lie, sir!" cried the boy in exultant
tones. Shouts of laughter followed, IL
which the general Joined heartily.-De
troit News.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26

A curious American colloquialism, of
which I certainly cannot see the ad-
vantage, writes William Archer in Pail
Mall Gazette, Is the substitution Of
yep" or "yup" for yes" and of
nope" for mo-" No doubt we have
in England the coster's 'yuss," but one
hears even educated Americans now
and then using yep" or some other
corruption of "yes," scarcely to be in
dicated by the ordinary alphabetical
symbols. 1t seems to me pity.
Educated Americans, too, will often
say somewhere" and "a long ways"
l have little doubt that this ''s" has a
grammatical history of its own. Prob
ably it is an old case ending, just as
''he goes out nights" on which Mr..
Andrew Lang is so severe, is sur
vival of the "o'nights" which Shakes
peare puts in the mouth of Julius C@-
sar ("Sleek headed men and such as
sleep o'nights'0.
At the same time, as "somewheres'
has become irremediably vulgarism
In England, it would, l think, be a
graceful concession ON the part of ed
ucated Americans to drop the So
After all, somewhere" does not jar
in America. and "somewheres" very
distinctly jars in England.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26
The U9liest Beast.

Probably the ugliest beast in the
world is a monkey, grewsome look
ing animal called the bearded saki.
This is so utterly grotesque a beast
that 1t would scarcely be safe to let a
child or nervous person see it. The
ugliness is not of an amusing kind, but
Of an evil, sinister nature. The beast
has sort of beard and a countenance
unlike anything else In shape and lines.
The monkey itself is not particularly
savage, but is SO hideous that the ma
tives Of its country, South America,
say that no beast Of prey, however
hungry, will tackle it. Even a hungry
jaguar will starve In cageful Of sakis.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26
THE ONE lsuRE THING.

There are sounds oflaughter and singing
And sounds that Of woe make part,
As the earth to its fate goes swinging,
But love is lord Of the heart,
And cloudy or fair the weather
Some souls will be drifting together
And souls be drifting apart.
Dark evil may lurk in the byways,
Still blinking in wrath at the dawn,
And the terror leap forth on the highways
OF the sword from its scabbard withdrawn,
But cloudy or fair the weather
Some souls will be drifting together
And souls be drifting apart.
Though unmoved by the poets dreaming
Men tarry too long in the mart
And grow cold in the pride of their schsniing
Yet love 10 lord OF the heart,
And cloudy or fair the weather
Some souls will be drifting together
And some be drifting apart.
w. 7. Talbot in Washingto
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26
Found His Auditor.

Professor Charles D. r. Roberts, the
poet, reads the modern languages very
easily, but speaks them imperfectly. At
a reception held In New York just
prior to his leaving for Europe Rob-
erts was introduced to distinguished
French artist, who was here on visit.
The artist asked in his own tongue.
you speak FrenchT
NO." answered the poet. II am
sorry 1 do not, but understand it well
when it is spoken to me-"
Il am so glad" replied the French
man. "You are the audience 1 have
long wanted. l can talk to you all /
please, and you cannot talk back
Colorado Springs Gazette.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26

Students of architecture may have
often wondered why the two towers
of Notre Dame at Paris were not Of
the same size. It appears that wher
the cathedral was built it was the
cathedral Of sufrragan bishop, who
was not entitled to two towers Of equa
height and for centuries the bishop OF
Paris WAS Bufrrasan to the bishop Of
Sens. -.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26
she Hadn't Dropped on.

"Deliaw
"Yis, ma'am"
II am very tired, and am going to
lie down for an hour"
"Yis, ma'am."
"If 1 should happen to drop off, call
me at o'clock"
"Yis, ma'am."
So my lady lies down, folds her
hands, closes her eyes and is soon in
the land of dreams. She is awakened
by the clock striking 6 and cries indig-
nantly:
"Deliaw
''Yis, ma'am."
"Why didn't you call me at o'clock,
as told you to DOR
"Shure, ma'am, We tould me to call ye
If We had dropped OF. looked in on ye
at 5, and ye hadn't dropped off at all!
Ye was lyin on the bed in the same
place, sound asleepw
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26
The Modest Lawyer.

A lawyer walked down the street re-
Gently with his length of arms taxed to
hold lot Of law books.
Pointing to the books, friend said,
"Why, I thought you carried all that
stuff in your headY'
II do" quickly replied the lawyer,
with a knowing wink. 'These are for
the judges"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26
A Grave Request.

A solicitor in Georgia court is re-
sponsible for the following:
He overheard a conversation be-
tween his cook and a nurse, who were
discussing a recent funeral of mem
Der of their race, at which there had
been great profusion of flowers. The
nurse said:
"When die, don't plant no flowers
on my grave, but plant good old wa.
termelon vine. and when it gets ripe
you come dar, and don't you eat 1t,
but jes' bis it on de grave and let dat
good old juice dribble down through
de ground. Communion.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26

arthur, DEAR" she said, 81 do wish
you would not use cigarettes.
"WhyT
Because you don't know what is in
them"
"Oh, yes, do! Why, for the trifiing
sum that cigarette costs you get nico-
tine, valerian, possibly little NOR
phia and any quantity Of carbon"
She looked up into his eyes and muir
INJURED, Arthur, dear, 1t does seem like
bargain, doesn't it?-Brisbane Re-
view.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26
Beneath notice-a footnote.
Beauty Is Blood Deep.

Clean blood means a clean skin. No
beauty without it. Cascarets, Candy Cathar-
TIC clean your blood and keep it clean, by
Purities from the body. Begin to-day to
Danish pimples, boils, blotches, blackheads,
and that sickly bilious complexion by taking
Cascarets,--beauty for ten cents All drug.
gusts, satisfaction guaranteed, lOc, 25c, Soc.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26
DATENTS.

A GIVE SOLICITORS WANTED EVERY
IN where for "The Story of the Philippines >
by MHrat Halstead commissioned by the gov
ernmcnt as official historian OF the War De-
partment. The book was written In army
camps at San francisco. on the Pacific with
General Merritt, in the hospitals at Honolulu,
in Hong Kong, in the American trenches al
Manila, IN the insurgent camps with Agui-
naldo, on the deck OF the Olympia with Dewey,
and in the roar of battle at the tall of Manila.
Bonanza tor agents. Brimful of original pic
lures taken by govern photographers on
the spot. Large book. Low prices. Big prot
It's. Freight p, paid: Credit given; Drop All
dress, F. T. Barber, Secretary, Star Insurance
Building, Chica go.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26

To accommodate those VINO are partia
to the use of atomizers in applying liquids
into the nasal passages for catarrhal trou
bles, the proprietors prepare Ely's Liquid
Cream Balm. Price including the spray
ing tube is rs cents. Druggists, or by
mail. The liquid embodies the medicinal
properties of the solid preparation. Cream
Balm isquickly absorbed by the membrane
and does not dry up the secretions but
changes them to natural and healthy
character. Ely Brothers, SO Warren St.
N Y.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-12-26

OOh TOBACCO spit ana Smoke Your Life AWays
To quit tobacco easily and forever, be mag.
netic. fuil OF life, nerve and vigor, take No-To-
Bac, the wonder-worker that makes weak men
strong. All druggists, SOC or 81. Cure guaran-
teec- Booklet and sample free. Address
Sterling Remedy Co, Chicago or New York.