The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-12-03

| TO soin their certificates av ehar-ac-
! Their M. Macculate' Minny a man
| thot poses as saint has not only a
raylistic prissint but a past, an be the
same token Dim thinkin' thot onliss
Uncle Som watches out, he'll be a man
wild a past himsilf Ofll lave it to yer
own conscience. byes, if it amt quare
| an curious thot this same Uncle Som
thot- dhraws up an indictmint agi INST
Roberts an gives him only wan days
start av the deputy sheriff, throws his
arrums around the sultan aY Sulu,
kisses his houseful av wives an adopts
him to be sort av a twin to Brother
Jonathan
Here's how it happened. The ship av
sthate wan day anchored in the har-
Dor av the Sulus. Can OF come up the
gangplank an boord We, and wild YEP
said the sultan, says he. Faith. an We
cam said Uncle Som, an all yer
wolves, the numerous Mrs. Sultan, too,
says he. An so it came to pass that
Sultan is now as good an Ammerrycan
name as Guggenheimer.
We'll, byes, to make a long sthory
short this same ship av sthate was
cruisin' wan day, sometime aftherward,
on the nigh seas av Utah A man who
tur-rned out to be Brig Roberts came
alongside in a small bote wild his three
wolves. Can OF come up and boord the
ship av sthate?' sid Brig. Faith, an We
can't sid Som, says he. Get away wild
We as fast as We can says he. Wild
thot Uncle Som TURNS to Deputy Sher-
iff Dave Hayter an says he. David
says he, there's Roberts, says he. Put
on yer disguise and widdin twinty-foor
hours parsue him. says he. An Dave
is huntin' high an low fer him from
that day to this.
bo rnor
if the bill collecther was on his thrack
Well, sor, as some pote says some
where. says he, In the midst av lolfe
We are in debt, says he. And Terrence
fell to musing as he took spoonful after
spoonful of cranberry sauce and asked
Tim to pour him out another mug Of
musty
During this interval of silence, voices
raised loud in disputation on Irish home
rule were heard outside One of the
men, evidently an Orangeman used
words OF as learned length as Sculptor
Scanned is wont to use when discus
sing abstruse problems.
Faith" said Terrence, its some min
thot have the notion thot they are dis
playin' their ler-runin be the use av the
lengthy elOngation av the sesquipeda
/ liam wor-rud. It's the eggutism av the
Orangeman who thinks thot he knows
the divvirs own lot av stuff
Now in Ulster where the Orange
man is at large in all his native wild
ness wild perpetual close sayson which
prayvints the spoortive Gamma Gael
from wingin' him, a complate edjuca-
| ton is as aisly ler-rened as the alpha
| bet. Shure all We have to do there is
to attind the Orange parokeel school,
mimmyrise the 'Byne Wather' and ler-
| run to say To Buffalo wild the pope
wild as much aise an faycility as a
/ school-bye in this country ler-runs to
raycite 'Curfew shall not ring this ave-
nin,' an We gets a diploma. Whin they
come to this land aY' the fray, how
I somever, they have " to attind mott
school,
"Uf dey vented ter nightness school
would dey be capability uf making
| some readment in der daytime, ven der
| sun i'd is shinin'?" asked Hans, the
! Dutchman, whose only objection to the
| dinner was that sauerkraut, to use his
| own words, "vos an absence nit con-
| spicuity."
| mot if the radin' was in the Oirish
! Worruld," answered Terrence
''Vud yo do ae dang ia him eff 20
vud wound yourself alone vid a Gran
/ ger?" said Sven the Swede.
Don't timpt me, Swim said Ter
renee. Don't timpt me. What the div
/ vii do We think thot a naygur wud do
if he found himself an a wheelbarrow