The times., 1899-07-13
PICKED UP AT RANDOM.


has been offered salvation from the dread
scourge, yellow fever. The lantern bearer
is the Rev. Mrs. Eddy, the founder of
Christian Science. and she has come forth
in treatise on the cause and cure of yell
low or any other kind of fever In the
first place, states the inspired prophecies,
one must get rid of the idea that there is
such a thing as yellow fever or any other
fever. Throw physic to the dogs and all
will be we'll.
The following remarkable statement will
be read with interest by those who have
imagined they were ill: THE cause of yell
low fever in Cuba is hatred. What they
call the fever is nothing but hatred. The
Cubans and the, Spaniards hated one an
other, hence they, suffered with yellow fe-
yer. Our soldiers in the islands hate the
Spaniards and this is the reason why they
are being attacked with the fever"
Mrs Eddy has failed TO explain why
there is more hatred at Santiago than at
Havana. and it seems very foolish in the
quarantine officials TO try and fumigate
hatred out of man.. 1t is also odd that
sanitation and hygiene have ever overcome
hatred, even whsnt whole cities are boil
ing over with animosity. II is expected
that a special order will be issued at
once, instructing the, troops now in Cuba
to love the Spaniards and all will be well.
Still. the unbelieying surgeons may even
resort to sanitary methods and medicine
in their anxiety to force the hatred out.
A Spanish cCurt-martial has acquitted
Admiral Ceryera of blame in the matter
of the sinking Of his feet of Santiago.
This is good news, when it is remembered
that an American naval ring has not yet
acquitted Admiral Schley OF reprehensible
conduct in having destroyed the feet in
question.
1t is almost possible that the recently
suspended Commissary OF a war may
return to Washington and enter a pro-
test for more pay while he is on his va
cation. The recent suspension of Jockey
Maher for two years at $4,000 per year
is even a softer snap than that allotted
to the Commissary, and why should one
who has handled hcrsefiesh receive more
| money than one who has handled beef?
1t is possible that the Secretary OF War
| may be enabled to view the dignity of
| the Army from this standpoint and thus
| plead for $4,000 per year for the Com
missary.
Sir Thomas Upton is great advertiser.
| Not content with spending thousands of
| dollars in the columns of newspapers he
had an object in view when he built the
| Shamrock. Since the launching of the
new yacht the gallant Sir Thomas has
placed upon the market nearly one mil
| lion pounds of Shamrock" tea, and he
expects to sell at least ten times this
amount before the fame of the brand dies
away. Whether the yacht wins or loses,
the people will drink Shamrock tea, and
Sir Thomas win be greatly benefited
thereby.
/
The first and only Chinese telephone ex-
| change in the country has just been estah-
! lished in San Francisco with over 1900
subscribers. The introduction of the tele.
phone is considered a great victory. as for
years no Celestial could be enticsd close 10
one of the devil boxes" The gods in
the temples were supposed to be highly
displeased with those who fooled around
| box which could talk and answer ques-
| tions from anywhere. 1t was only after
| several grave consultations between the
leading merchants of Chinatown that they
grew to regard the phone as less of a god
and more of a wonderful work of mechan-
ism. After seeing the instrument torn tc
pieces and replaced. and after hearing 9th
ers talk, the suspicious Celestials were
highly pleased. Today one may see
bunch of wires leaping madly at the toE
of pole as two Mongolians hold a con-
yersation. 1t is hoped. however that the
wires will soon become accustomed to the
jargon.
Texas is not such bad State after all
md it may be that the residents of man!
of the cities and towns have been his
represented. At all events, the mayor o
the town of Ell Dorado has just publisne,
a card of thanks in the home paper il
which he expresses his gratitude to III
citizens for having behaved themselves oil
the Fourth of July. instead of gettini
drunk and raising cain. as some peopl
might do
To laugh and grow fat has long beel
a popular adage, and now a new school O
medicine has been established for the cur
of many diseases. ranging from bronchiti
to anaemia by inducing hearty laughter
The physicians who treat patients in thi
manner are called acknowledgements
and they claim to effect cures in case
which medicines failed to relieve. II i
expected that the patient must be place
upon diet OF laughter and must not .ouc
anything which might cause the blues
The "Depew Joke Book" must not he IN
lulged in under any circumstances, Will
the findings of the Alger Relief Corps ar
almost certain to effect a cure. ''Th
rawlings of a Commissary'' is also first
class medicine, as is The Secretary VIII
Would Not Resign"
Judging from the reports made by tn
courts for the first five months OF tn
present year. Germany is not a very fer
tile country for newspapers which ar
edited by their editors. In the above spac
there were III cases of lese majestic trie
and the total number of years of imprison
ment given the offenders was fifty-ivC
Al Of which goes to show that reporte
in America is worth two great editors i
Germany