The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1899-01-22
THE WOODEN INDIAN SMAsnER.
Double Misfortune of the Reduced Dealer
IN Pure Havana Cigars.

"AO ~
Misfortune overtakes us In unexpected
ways and mine may be worth your attention,
was ruined by o tobacco Indian"
The speaker was one of half n dozen City
Hall Park benchers who had been forced to
take refuge in the Post Oflce corridor by n
fierce rain squall. There was an air of shabby
respectability about him which distinguished
him from the other benchers.
Thank you. sir, for your attention" he con-
tinued. "and I may preface my remarks by
saying that I was In the tobacco line before I
was reduced. You may have noticed my sign
at 90 Third avenue. 1t read: Vincent Bow
dish, tobacco and pipes. Try Our Secret five
cent Havana cigars Bowdish is my NAME. as
you may judge for yourself. and in those days
there wasn't a moro active young business
man on the avenue. ] have always maintained
that to draw customers you must make your
store ATTRACTIVE. set up n fine wooden Indian
II front OF my shop. and was proud OF 1t.
OF manly beauty. l am slight, and my legs are
bowed. but | can APPRECIATE manly beauty as.
and as l prospered I expended my surpims;
capital IN fittings for my shop. I joined tho
Jolly Elves Association and | was an eligible
young man My heart HAD never been touched,
however. and I was bound to marry for love.
One afternoon when business was dull an agent
for q sign manufacturer came in and said:
and Of taste. / have here aphqtoeraPIhf' Of a
trade. think that you will want it, W. '"
me figure, according to this photograph.
WAS st that nat Of ! a young woman with short skirts
arrived 1t surpassed my expectations. The
figure was only about four feet high, but it was
and her complexion was bright. You will par
don my referring to it. and l do 1t in ali mod
limb bulged generously. When ! placed the
young woman on q table in the rear OF the
There is my ideal of female beauty. will
never marry until can find a girl who looks
An az a man Of sentiment. and ] am proud of it.
That female figure was company for me in my
stood my thoughts. When I left the shop |
aer s99sn pn5 siTIc b It. was oi At A. the 4e,f H \ mas,
my ideal was realized. 1 went dressed as a
page in n costume lent me by the property
floor, so | didn't attract much attention. The
on the roor, The moment saw her Was one
OF great excitement to me. She was the image
fhe m sEES SIEp rs : sk flFI. s svsn tSt to n 6Io md, hair al r SSS
turning 4 n pSiPt Pf my liie: and whenn, the floor
fl. ont a square / asked her to dance. "00' -
Sure, said she. Why wouldn't II,
emotion overcame me. j could only look at her. |
what's wrong said she in the all hands
TOunu.
Then / told her of my love for her. and at
hrst she laughed. l knew it was sudden and l
went on to tell her about my tobacco shop and
the nice business | was doing.
Is this song and dance you're giving me p
she asked.
On my honor as a dealer in pure Havana
cigars. L said.
".An'yop got stuck on me because looked
Ike q wooden cigarette girl ? said she.
That first suggested your image to me-
said L. and then she told me that her name was
tosyi and she promised to marry, me after sho
1appy man. | can tell you. Rosy. worked in a
irand street store. and she said she would
ne Ut; 1t was in the, days when tight trousers
we're the fashion. and in honor of Rosy's visit |
put on the most fashionable pair that I owned.
md after a short talk about business she said
nat she thought she would marry me. |
oolhted out the wooden cigarette girl in the
hat she didn't look like that. Then | walked
rom, behind the counter to show her my
Indian.
Heaven help uS!' she said, as she looked Mt
fashionable trousers.
,Ihis - my wooden Indian. Rosy said |,
ang IT'S worth lots OF money to me-
and | was nervous.
lent this Indian a fine type OF manly
eauty = said. Then she looked at the Indian.
gain. Her eyes lighted up as she studied my
ndian and her face softened.
cant go you, Vincent she said. but I'm
find a man like him. and out she founced.
NOW, wasn't that a hard trick. for fate to
laX me2 With an axe I smashed that wooden
I six months l was the ruined man you see
efore you. My only recreation is wandering
round after dark smashing wooden Indians.
here are lots Of wooden Indians up there.
hank you. sir. and better luck TO you than /
ave had" And he hurried out into Park row.