New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-11-01

in existence had he known how to pro-
tect his person in the feld,' the neces-
sary protection consisting in standing
sideways and drawing in the stomach.
''Should the party be hit presumably
because he could not draw in his stom-
ach-''he must not feel alarmed. - This
seems difficult, as man with bullet
in his stomach can hardly be expected
not to display some little natural ankle
ty, for, as is admitted later, "a shot in
the digestive organs must be particu-
larly annoying to a bon vivant. - To
aldermen his advice is 1.-THE old method
of fghting-the back to the adversary
and discharging over the shoulder
1.-THE chances Of a mans being killed
are about IA to I, and of his being
hit about 6 to L." He arrives at
this conclusion by dividing a mans
body, when opposed to his adversary,
into nine parts Therefore he says, GAS
in only three of these a wound would
prove mortal. the chances are 3 to
1 against his being killed, and to
1 against his being hit-that is, how
ever" he hastens to add, provided his
antagonist has never read my work. If
he has, the case may be differenSl'
The combatant is told mot to allow
the idea Of becoming a target to make
him uneasy, but to treat the matter
jocosely.' He is to laugh away the
evening over bottle of port and play
a rubber of whist. but he must avoid
drinking to excess, or taking "any food
that tends to create bile " because 'bil-
ious objects are not seen either distinct
ly or correctly This would rather be
a valid reason for getting as bilious as
possible. A man with an attack of
jaundice should be invisible, and able
to blaze at his antagonist in perfect
safety. If he cannot sleep on retiring
to rest, he is to read Byron's ''Childe
Harold" His servant is to call him at 8
and give him a strong cup Of coffee.
Then he is to smoke cigar, and ION
his way to the scene of action he is to
take brandy and soda, as a most
''grateful stimulant and corrective
No wonder our author recommends
him at this point to draw in his stom-
ach eff he dies, he is to go off with as
good grace as possiblel'' On the other
hand, if he hits his antagonist, he is to
take off his hat to him and express re-
greet.
. A challenge is not to be in rhyme,
such as "a certain poetical, brandy low
ing major general Of marines wrote
to a brother officer who ran off with his
wife: ~. .....
Wounds on the flesh surgeons skill may
heal, 49,.
But wounded honor's only cured with steel
An Irishman is not to be chosen as
second, for nine out of ten have such an
innate love Of fighting they cannot
bring an affair to an amicable adjust
ment, and the first duty of second is
to prevent the affair coming to seri-
GUS ISSUE Other advice is for the Sec
ond to take care his principal is not in
convenienced by the sun, and to get his
antagonist with something dark behind
him, when it will be much more easy
to hit him.
As may be inferred, the author. holds
by dueling, for 1.-THE man who falls
in a duel and the individual who is
killed by the overturn Of stagecoach
are both unfortunate victims to q prac-
tice from which we derive great advan-
tages. It would be absurd to prohibit
stage travelling because occasionally q
few lives are lost by an overturn, and
unless men endeavored to destroy each
other they n,ight live to patriarchal
age and multiply 50 rapidly that the
soil would soon be insufficient to sup
ply them with nourishment. = with
which reductio ad absurdum the vol
ume may well be put back on the shelf.
Navy and Army Illustrated.