Spirit of Jefferson. [volume] (Charles Town, Va. [W. Va.]) 1844-1948, 1899-02-07
GOOD JOKE.

The Clay county correspondent OF
the Charleston Gazette tells joke on
Henry B. Davenport, Jr., native of
this county and son of Col. II. B.
Davenport. After complimenting him
for his genius and capacity as a civil
engineer, says:
Mr.. Davenport came here three or
four years ago and hung out his single
as attorney at law. He is succeeding
very we'll, too, as he should, for he is
steady, studious, painstaking. and.
above all, absolutely honest and i'm
partial in all matters, great and small.
The friends of Henry love to get joke
on him, which he enjoys as much as
any of them. One of them 1 will re-
late for the edifcation of your readers,
and as an exemplifcation of the far
reaching and generally accepted idea
of the superstitiously inclined the
world over, chat no lawyer can enter
the portals of heaven" Last summer
Fred Singleton, an ebony-hued voter
of this burg, fell into the river, and,
not being able to swim. did the other
thipg-sank. He raised and sank
again. Once again he came struggling
to the surface and sank and stayed
sunk. His cries attracted and brought
forth nearly everybody within the sa-
cred precincts of the town of Clay,
Mr.. Davenport among the balance
Speedily rescuing party was organ
lied and the fishing for the seemingly
dead coon was at once proceeded with.
The river was as clear as crystal, and
those whose mission it was to bring
forth the dead carcass of the defunct
negro saw him lying at the bottom of
the river in complacency and utter
abandon, having evidently passed in
his checks. Quickly he was forked
out and brought to the shore, to all in
tents and purposes as dead as any coon
need be. DIR. Byrne Stephenson hap
pened to be there, and directed the eff
forts of the recusitationists in pump
ing life into the dead man by manipu-
lating his arms pretty much as he
would the handle of the village pump.
Being strong, vigorous and willing to
work, they pumped with an animation
and vigor worthy of better subject,
and to the surprise of everybody they
saw the negro's gills begin to futter.
He gasped, heaved great sigh and
opened his eyes. While undergoing
the throes and agonies in the parox-
ysms of experimental death, all the
past sins committed by that sinful ne
gro came like accusing angels before
him to haunt the last of his heeting
moments. Life fickered like the ex-
piring wick of a dying candle, growing
weaker with each flick, until light was
eliminated, total darkness prevailed for
an instant, then all was light, life. lib
erty, and a sense of indescribable glory
and brightness. The pump handle
movements of the rescuers prevailed,
death was thwarted of his good inten-
tions, and Fred lived, moved and had
a being, as he fondly believed, in the
celestial cline of eternal glory. When
he opened his eyes he expected to cast
his eyes on the ineffable beauties of
endless festivity, where he would be at
peace forever and in the possessive en-.
joyment Of sublime pleasures, and revel
in perpetual sunshine and idlenesa, and
walk about the streets with a white
wife, which had ever been his concep-
ton of life beyond the grave. But
when he opened his eyes and saw bend
ing over him the placidly sorrowful
and benignant countenance Of Henry
B. Davenport, the urbane lawyer, Fred
realized at once that he was not in
heaven, saints rest or paradise. His
eyes fell, his countenance assumed an
ashy hue, his hopes of bliss fell crush
ed to the earth, his black wife was still
his side partner on this mundane sphere
and he was still of the earth the most
earthly. The sight of Mr.. Davenport
completely disilIusionized him. He
simply articulated in the wretchedness
of his disappointment: "Mr. Daven-
port, are you here? didn't expect to
see you here" Those who worked his
arms and recusiated the coon have
thus far escaped an indictment. Tho
justice is meek and long-suferipg, she
usually rights wrongs and evens all
things eventually.
lobe entirely relieved of the aches and
pains of rheumatism means gerat deal,
IIc@lis 10