Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1899-12-07
NUMBER 18

king OF birds and hence neither prop
er nor suitable to represent a nation
whose Institutions and interests were
wholly inimical to monarchical forms
Of government. Judge Thatcher in re-
ply playfuIly suggested that perhaps a
goose might suit the gentleman, as it
was rather a humble and republican
bird and would also be serviceable in
other respects. as the goslings would
answer to place upon the dimes.
This reply created considerable mer-
rimeDt. and the Irate southerner, con-
sldering the humorous rejoinder an In
suit. sent a challenge TO the Judge, who
promptly declined it. The bearer. rather
astonished, asked. "Will you be brand
ed as a cowardY Certainly, If be
pleases." replied Thatcher. Il always
was one, and he knew IT or be would
never have risked challenge"
The affair occasioned much mirth,
but finally cordial relations were re-
stored. the irritable southerner con-
cluding there was nothing to be gained
in fighting one who fred nothing but
jokes.
Lexe Majesty.
AS the old lady remarked when she
heard the astounding information that
the COW had eaten the grindstone, 81
told you So | forewarned you that
Imperialism would bring US to prose-
cutions for the crime Of leze majesty.
Young William of Hohenzollern win
laugh to snieker when he reads our
late papers and discovers that we have
adopted his imperial fad and that in
Washington as well as In Berlin men
are punished for leze majesty. The
kaiser viii not incorrectly conclude
that we are coming on rather rapidly
In this opinion he viii be Joined by
Mr. Noble E. Dawson. late clerk in
the war department. now out in the
cold. cold world. the first victim of leze
majesty in America since the fall Of
old John Adams at high noon March 4.
1901. bfr. Dawson talked not wisely,
but too freely, and now he Is minus a
salary of 81 .20O. AS the boys say, He
is on his uppers." AS our Teutonic
friends have it. Mr.. Dawson is ''ausge-
spielt." The grayamen of Mr. Daw-
sons offense lies in some piquant re-
marks of which he delivered himself
touching President Mckinley. Here is
a sample: "a trust that when the wise
and patriotic administration gets back
from its swing around campaign, hay-
ing shown the bucolie voter that it was
Mckinley who caused the bountiful
crops to grow. saited the Klondike with
a wealth of golden nuggets and fur
nished employment lin the Philippines,
to our unoccupied needy. you will. un-
daunted by the specter so aptly limned
by the poet in his luminous phase, The
Dewey skirted clouds. unlike the sum-
again tackle the colonial postal mat
ter"
Now that's gorgeous rhetoric. It's
verbal richness. It's skyscraping elo-
quence. but most unfortunately for
poor Dawson it was addressed to Hon.
Charles Emory Smith. postmaster gen.
eral. who is not only an imperiallstic
shouter. but a Mckinley incense swing
er of the most pronounced order.
Charles Emory didn't enjoy having fun
poked at his joss. though It was done
In highfalutin style. Ergo. Mr.. Noble
E. Dawson. late clerk in the war de-
partment. made himself amenable to
the pains and penalties of our new W.
written law-lex non scripta-again
leze majesty and is unceremoniously
bounced. e.. fined $1,000 per annum
| for speaking disrespectfully of the pres
ident. while General Egan is rewarded
by being paid about $4,000 per annum
for speaking disrespecfully of General
Nelson a. Miles. Why is 1t thusly?
Why this distinction? Does leze mai
esty in this land of the free (sicl and
home of the brave depend upon whose
OK is gored? 1t really appears that
way to a locker on In Vienna. Wonder
If the shade of old John Adams and
the ghost of the old alien and sedition
laws never visit these recent invokers
of a law of leze majesty which has
never been written or enacted? By
what authority was Dawson bounced?
What crime had he committed? Width
er. Oh whittier has gone our soulful
civil service reform system? May we
not speak our sentiments for fear of
being beheaded? Is. gorgeous rhetoric
to be cause for official death? Don't
we all know that Mark and Nc. did
make the crops grow and did place
that gold In the Klondike? Didn't the
Republicans carry the fail elections on
that very platform? Alas, poor DaW
soni
Information For Letter Writers.
Every newspaper in the United
States of America. without regard to
party affiliations. would confer a great
favor on its readers as wen as upon
its senators and representatives In
congress by copying the following sug-
/ gestions: l. In writing TO a senator.
address him United States Senate
Chamber. Washington. ID. c." 2 In
writing to a representative address
him. House Of Representatives. WASH
ington. ID. G." 3, 10 that way senators
and representatives, will receive your
etters, for the senate and house each
nas its own postoffice. 4. Ii writer
addresses his senator or representa-
tive at his residence or boarding house.
he is liable to miss him. as be may
have changed his local habitation, In
deed Hon. John G. Tarsney once told
me that "a congressman or senator
ought to change his boarding house
once month in order = ohtaia the best
icontinued On Page a.
Try GraIn-Oi Try Grain-O.