Evening star., 1899-07-15
THE HUMOROUS SIDE
Some Peculiarities of the Senior New
Hampshire Senator.
H0W BE MAKES THINGS LIVELY
He Disiikes a Stagnant Atmosphere
in the Senate.
A SHORT-LI WE'D TRUCE

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The controversy before the civil service
commission, in which Senators Chandler
and Gallinger have been the chief actors,
has renewed the discussion as to the per-
sonal characteristics of the senior senator
from New Hampshire. 1t is generally con-
ceded that If Chandler goes out of the Sem
ate another element of the picturesque will
be removed
People who do not appreciate the humor
of him sometimes get mad at Chandler.
Those Of such dull appreciation do not like
him. Some absolutely hate him. Vest once
seeking a parallel to emphasize the utter
impossibiity of his doing a certain thing
said: Il am as apt to do that as 1 am to
learn to like Chandler" Vest never had
| real fine discriminating sense of humor. To
| those who really understand Chandler and
can appreciate his unique humor he is
ever-wearying source of Joy. He is like
| the smell of vinegar giving flavor to the
atmosphere OF a damp cellar-a sharpness
that takes the torpidity out of stagnation-
When the Senate get into a lethargic con-
dition Chandler begins to ferment. When
everything Is as quiet and serene as the
angels Of peace could desire: when the gall
iery gods sleep and even the gay goddesses
nod and cease to 7utter their fans; when
Stewart has subsided into silvery siesta-
when all Is still-then Chandler begins to
move about nervously.
How He Excftes Interest.
He rubs his back again st the back Of his
chair. cocks his head on one side, then
cocks it on the other; rummages through
his desk looking for nothing and shifts
about like a small boy at church. If these
preliminary motions have not disturbed the
quiet and brought show of action he will
ncVe about the chamber little TO get up
circulation. Then he will sit for some time
na,e IN deep e meditation, edit trying to think up
something that will arouse the sleeperJ
and make mischief. Picking out some sen
ator conspicuously peaceful, in repose he
will stick pin into him by inquiring of the
Vice President why the Senate should not
now proceed with the consideration of this
measure or that, which he knows the con-
spicuously reposeful senator is violently op-
posed to- If this one pin thrust arouses the
senator to state of promising activity, or
makes him turn restlessly in his sleep,
Chandler will follow it with another and
arother, making the thrusts vicious. by
changing the inquiry into demand that
the measure be Immediately taken up and
disposed of without debate. If by this time
the opponent of the measure Is thoroughly
aroused, Chandler viii then turn his at
tention to the particular senator who is
most determinediy on the other side and pes
ter him into wakeful activity. When the
two are thoroughly aroused and cIawing at
each other, Chandler will get back in his
seat and keep perfectly quiet for awhile,
except now and then to prod one or the
other if there is not enough action to sat
isfy him.
Advancing Irritating Propositions.
For such an occasion he will pick out the
most irritating proposition he can think of
and during the course of the contention
which he has aroused he will make the
most irritating suggestions. first to one side
and then to the other, saying mean things
with q bnu Of ,;oio
be taken for genuine, and batting both sides
until they are tearing a each others throats
ana at the same time both swapping and
snarling at him. On occasions he has got
the Senate into state of turmoil over
nothing at all. He can say mean. annoying
things, calculated to give personal affrent
with all the ease of amiable intention. He
knows just where is located the tender
spot in each person. His eye is always
fixed on that spot If by fascination
The more he watches it the more tender
the tender spot. The temptation becomes
too strong for resistance. His curiosity
is aroused to know how the victim would
be effected. Imagination then supplies an
appeal to the sense OF the humorous. 1t
is funny to see how man with the gout
will jump If you hit him suddenly on his
sore tee. The thought becomes Irresistible
man with the proper sense of humor
would understand it, but a lot of obtuse
people arr always getting mad at Chan
dler, Those who can enter into the spirit
oI tHe tIlnS ana nuVe't got sore toes, thor
oughly enjoy Chandler. He adds interest
to dull day, furnishes a counter-irritant
to man with troubles and keeps the blood
in circulation by rough rubbing.
A Short-Lived Truce.
1t will be source of great sorrow to
some men not now in the Senate that
Chandler and Gallinger are fighting each
other again. Fred Dubois of Idaho worked
for four years in the Senat. to get the two
New Hampshire senators to speak to each
other. Finally, just before he retired from
the Senate, he got the two to shake hands
The diplomacy necessary to bring this
about seemed to excite Chambers interest
and to suggest to him a source of amuse-
msnt Therefore he encouraged Dubois
during his long years of effort and appear
ed to derive much enjoyment out of the
matter. Finally. when Dubois retirement
was but few months off, Chandler yielded
as a token of regard for one about to d.
much rejoicing. but it soon became ap-
parent that this was only another one of
Chambers little pleasantries, intended to
Crafty friend and to furnish a new SEN
Sauon OF amusement to himself. The old
relations of hostility were soon restored.
Chandler apparently enjoying the humor-
Gus situation of having to talk through
municate with his colleagua. For some
time past Platt of Connecticut, who sits
just between them has been the medium
OF communication. and seemingly their in
tercourSe has not been seriously intsrfered
with by their not being willing to speak
directly to each other