The evening times., 1899-09-21
Rend.r-on's Atkinsonian Logic.

II there is scientific sense in the Califor-
MIA proposition TO quarantine against tu-
bercrIosis, on the ground that it is con-
tagious in cases OF personal contact or
propinquity, il seems 10 us that an equally
strong argument could be offered in favor
cf isolating sufferers from that other dis
ease known as Seditionis Atkinsonii, which
has shown itself infectious in at least sew
eraI instances George Fred Williams and
Eliot Norton have been attacked by it as
a result doubtless of direct transmission
from George f. Hoar or Edward Atkins-n,
representing the two most virulent illus
tratio.s of its power TO produce moral and
mental decay and madness We might
mention other persons who seem TO be
afflicted with the provincial pestilence in
a serious form, and We are afraid that
very worthy former statesman is coming
down with it. Mr. Henderson, once a
Senator from Missouri, is evincing we'll
defined symptoms of the disease, and
should hasten to take medicine. We rec
ommend to him course of Louisiana Pur-
chase. to be taken alternately with the
Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo, and in COM
bination with a strict diet OF Jeffersonian,
Jacksonian, and Polkian Expansion. By
following this advice, his cure will be
certain, if the insidious ailment has not
already attacked his patriotic .sensor mo-
tor brain cells, in which event, OF course,
restoration 10 civic health would be hope
less.
to ha 1nDulr rppnapinp this
good and, in intention, honest citizen, it is
interesting to note that his mind is work.
ing much in the way peculiar to that of
Atkinson Mr.. Henderson regards the ac-
QUESTION of the Philippine Islands by the
United States as an awful crime. He would
show his sense of its infamy by electing
as President, Admiral Dewey, who is re-
sponsible for the acquisition. But other
arguments, contained in letter to the
New York World afford even greater
evidence of political, if not intellectual, un-
balance. Mr.. Henderson says that if the
Filipinos are sayages, why not send them
missionaries instead of the guns of Otis?"
Now complete sanity is hardly consistent
with the idea that Otis is not missionary.
| The guns which, at the command of a
soldier, would have crushed the Tagal mu-
| tiny, in the hands of Otis, are but explod-
ed to signal the rebels that a committee is
invited to visit Manila to chew the cud
of peace proposals from our side.
Again our patient exclaims: If they are
] ignorant, send them the schoolmaster!"
| Poor Mr. Henderson evidently does not
know that We have sent them two, who
| told them all about church and state, and
| that right angle triangle, when hit with
a club, would excite sound waves similar
to those produced by a tuning fork in a
/ village choir. But Schurman's and Wor-
cester's labors were Intellectual except in
promoting the failure of our spring cam
| paign.
Finally, the former Senator observes
with the consciousness of inspiration, that
| '.if the Schurman Commission had gone
alone and untrammeled by the army, the
people of Luzon would today be as peace
/ full. as loyal, and as happy as the people
OF New York"
In way, we might agree to part of this
proposition. Great good might have been
accomplished by sending DENLY and his
camp without protection. We should have
been sorry for the sacrifice of Schurman
and Worcester, but even that could have
| been borne with Christian resignation in