The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1899-04-14
In THE MATTER
OF A PRIVATE.
By RUDYARD K1pL1Ne.
Hurrahi Hurrahl A soldiers life for me!
Shout, boys, shout. for it makes you jolly and

0y AUD1AhU AlIulN0s
Hurrahi Hurrahl soldiers life for mel
Shout, boys, shout. for it makes you jolly and
freel
The Ramrod Corps.
People who have seen state that one
Of the quaintest spectacles Of human
Srailty is an outbreak of Mysteries in
girls school 1t starts without warning.
generally on hot afternoon, among
the elder pupils. A girl giggles till the
giggle gets beyond control. Then she
throws up her head and cries. 'sHonk,
honk. honkl" like wild goose, and
tears mix with the laughter If the
mistress be wise. she will say something
severe at this point to check matters
If she be tender hearted and send for
drink Of water, the chances are large
~ in favor Of another girl laughing at
the afflicted one and herself collapsing
Thus the trouble spreads and may end
In half OF what answers to the lower
sixth of boys school rocking and
whooping together Given week of
warm weather, two stately promenades
per diem. heavy mutton and rice meal
in the middle of the day, certain
amount of nagging from the teachers
and few other things. some really
amazing effects can be secured. At
least this is what folk say who have had
experience
Now. the mother superior of con-
vent and the colonel of a British infan-
try regiment would be justly shocked
at any comparison being made between
their respective charges But it is a
fact that under certain circumstances
Thomas in bulk can be worked up into
ditthering. ripping hysteria. He does
not weep but he shows his trouble un-
mistakably. and the consequences get
into the newspapers. and all the good
and virtuous people who hardly know a
Martini from Snider say. "Take
away the BRUTE ammunition
Thomas isn't brute. and his bust
ness, which is to look after the virtuous
people. demands that he shall have his
ammunition to his hand He doesn't
wear silk stockings. and he really ought
to be supplied with new adjective to
help him to express his opinions. but.
for all that, he is great man If you
call him 1.-THE heroic defender of the ma
tional honor one day and ga brutal
and licentious soldiery" the next. you
naturally bewilder him. and he looks
upon you with suspicion. There is no.
body to speak for Thomas except people
who have theories to work off on him.
and nobody understands Thomas except
Thomas. and he does not know what is
the matter with himself
That is the prologue This is the
story
Corporal Slane was engaged to be
married to Miss Jhansi McKenna. whose
history is well known in the regiment
and elsewhere. He had secured his colo
nel's leave, and. being popular with the
men. every arrangement had been made
to give to- wedding what Private Or
theris called ..eeklar. 1t fell in the
heart Of the hot weather, and after the
wedding Slane was going up to the
hills with the bride None the less,
Slane's grievance was that the affair
would be only hired carriage we'd
ding, and he felt that the ''eeklar" OF
that was meager Miss McKenna did
not care so much The sergeant's wife
was helping her to make her wedding
dress. and she was very busy. Slane
was, just then, the only moderately
contented man in barracks. All the rest
were more or less miserable
And they had SO much to make then
happy tool All their work was over al
in the morning, and for the rest o.
the day they could lie on their backs
and smoke canteen plug and swear al
the punkah coolies. They enjoyed +;
fine full flesh meal in the middle of tn,
day and then threw themselves dow
on their cots and sweated and slept til
it was cool enough to go out with thei
''towny, whose vocabulary contained
less than 600 words and the adjectiv,
and whose views on every CONCEIVABLE
question they had heard many month
before.
There was the canteen. of course. an,
there was the temperance room witt
the secondhand papers in it. but maj
Of any profession cannot read for eigh
hours a day in temperature of 90 o
80 degrees in the shade, running III
sometimes to 1903 degrees at midnight
Very few men. even though they get
pannikin of fat. stale. muddy beer an
hide it under their cots, can continu
drinking for six hours a day One ma
tried. but he died. and nearly til
whole regiment went to his funeral be
cause it gave them something to do.
was too early for the modified excite
ment of fever or cholera. The me
could only wait and wait and wait an
watch the shadow of the barrack creeI
ing across the binding white dus1
That was gay life!
They lounged about environments
it was too hot for any sort Of gam
and almost too hot for vice-a.j4 hpi
died themselves in the evening and nIie
themselves to distension with I'll
healthy heterogeneous food provided fl
them and the more thew stocked the le