The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-02-05
AS ONE WOMAN SIZES IT.
Her Tale Of Two Hours With the
Joint Session.


Jennie said that her spirits were about
as high as City creek in August, and if
something did not happen to dispel the
azure mist that surrounded her, she would
die of melancholia. 1 agreed that a per-
son must have some pleasure, so L sug-
gested going to Billie Browns funeral. l
remembered that when Willie White was
buried. Jennie seemed to have a good
time. But who could blame her for laugh
ing then? Deacon Jones was putting more
chairs in front of the mOurners, and every
time he approached the coffin he waved
a great yellow silk handkerchief and ap-
piled it vigorously to his nose. Jennie
whispered that il was like the morning
of the first resurrection with the angel
Gabriel blowing his trumpet at quaran
tine flag. She doubled herself into SO
many folds, in her efforts not TO laugh.
that for days she looked like a piece Of
cTinkled seersucker. So 1 thought that
something funny might happen at Billie
Browns services. But Jennie said that
funerals were only dead affairs after all
Shed rather go TO something brisk and
interesting, and decided that the legls-
lature would answer. So We went TO the
legislature.
We paused in the doorway for some
thing. hoping that the spectators would
think we were second cousins several
times removed to one of the legislators,
for next 10 being great yourself is being
related to greatness.
Then the augustine. February-body
came in, one by one. They entered slowly
and solemnly; they entered staccato; they
entered in treble trills and deep bass
clefts- Most of them wore the expression
of the woman who didn't care whether
there is soap enough to finish the washing
or not. There was the man with the
beard. his hand Stroking II thOughuUlly.
there was the man with the glasses, peer
e over his neighbours paper; there were
two jolly fellows who stood in the
middle of the room and gave q laugh
that caused the blue-shaded lights TO
S, Lutte yer partners and all docy-doo; and
there was the robust man who, with every
heater going at full force. every space
filled to suffocation. and the temperature
SIC degrees above boiling point. pushing
up the slightly lowered window for fear
a breath of Gods pure air might reach
him. God air is excluded usually from
our churches. and often from our homes.
We, don't expect it any more at political
gatherings.
The time for beginning had been set at
11:30. At u the legislature convened.
Other things may meet, but the legisla-
ture conVenes. The chaplain opened with
prayer. He prayed that the Lord would
Strengthen their minds and better their
judgment that the work might be done
quickly and we'll" The chaplain has
been making this prayer for quite few
days now. When some petitions are de-
MED it is hard for US to believe that the
denial is for our best good"
Then they sat down. The chairs have
big screws. so that the lawmakers can
turn round easily and view the question
from all sides. The presidents chair was
of comfortable leather and the president
lolled in it. It spoiled his dignity. And
all that remains TO be said about the leg
stature is that the real business of the
day took up about twenty minutes and
the rest of the time was passed in
wTanglinE. The lower house was zeal
GUS of the upper. 1t was most absurd
affair Why is human nature so inclined
to petty jealousy? Why can't people do
the best they know how and respect other
people in their places? This silly feeling
is shown everywhere in social and pro-
fessioral life as well as politics. 1t is
utter nonsense. If the Devil Capitalized
because he is a most important personagej
had not been jealous of higher power
he and his followers might have been in
heaven now instead of hanging around us
2 g q
Legislators are like plumbers. They are
never in a hurry. And they are always
They wouldn't offend you for the world
by seeming TO be in haste. They rather
enjoy the visit. They even promise to
call again. They make the job last an
astonishing time. Sometimes YOU lose
your patience, but they are always so
good-natured about it, and go on so calm
" and deliberately that-well. you know
how 1t is with plumbers
Jennie wrote a rhyme and passed it to |
me. She called it
THE LEGISLATURE"
come from every part of town,
1 make a sudden sally,
And in my easy chair sit down,
To biczer there and daily.
1 chatter. chatter. as you know.
To stretch things out I'm clever
For men may come and men may go,
But | go on forever.
At thirty past / hurry down,
| never yet was early;
/ draw my eyebrows in a frOwn
To show 1 do things thor ghly.
NV candidate feels in a maze,
Because l don't elect him:
l give him the full sixty days
To show how / respect him.
murmur- at the slightest cause,
And murmur at my leisure.
| linger Ger my shingiy laws,
1 loiter round each measure.
III chatter. chatter. as you know,
Until / cross the river.
For men may come and men may go,