The times., 1899-09-17

pated like treat-something possible and
consistent and pretty. When ghis failed
to materislize they did not reason that
Her Soldier Boy was quite as good as
were mcst OF its predecessors; only that
il was not as good as ~ Passing Fancy.
They were tempted to be harsh IN criti-
cising the iooseness OF construction. the
glaring unlikelihOods. the rather maudIin
pathcs that we're the worse faults OF the
skit. Perhaps their tempers We're strained
when they discovered that Miss Burkhart
herself was not 20 have snch opportunities
as she-and they-had hitherto enjoyed
Yet, as ever, the star was charming. Her
brighter speeches were delivered in the
most unaffected manner; her quieter ones
with grace and sentiment. She rscited an
unnecessary poem. The Mother OF a Sol
der as few have ever heard a poem re-
cited Despite the sketch. she made one
glad that he had missed appointments with
men outside and waited fer her. Lillian
Burkhart was delightful. Her Soldier Boy
was bad. IL WAS rot so bad that Il would
have been much more than noticed in the
hands of most other vaudeyillsans. but. con-
trastsd with the womanliness and charm OF
the authorsss. il was very bad And in this
sentence is the meat OF the comments paszei
upon the act on Tuesday.
1t would be somewhat difficult. however.
10 find the slightest excuse for the knock
about turn" inflicted by the H0rner
Brothers on those who patronized Wash
burns Ninstreis. No one who goes 10 see
the wearers OF burnt cork and plush
breeches expects quiet or tender sentiment
but the work of the Horners was Just
trifie too much At KsrnaR's man NAV
belabor his companion with eiap-stick and
be considered funny. He might even be toll
Grated at the Academy OF Music. At the
Grand he would probably be asked 10 dis
pense with the formalty OF notice"
There is not the slightest reason why he
should ever have put in an appearance at
the Lafayette The true field for such pro-
ceedings is the track OF a Brooklyn trolley
line or the squared circle OF Ccney Island
club In theatre they are decidedly out OF
place. The gallery at the Lafayette may
have been and probably was delighted on
Monday night when one of these HoFners
broke his cane over the head OF the other.
No GiIbeTtian witticism or Hoytian sati-e
or Pinsroesque epigram could have affected
this portion OF the house as did the manner
in which the other Horner retallated by
squirting a cup OF water at his partner.
But to the ladies and gentlemen in the
orchestra chairs the sight OF a black faced
ruffian, with wig askew, blowing the liquid
out of his mouth and wiping it. with great
patches Of burnt cork, from his forehead.
cannot have been pleasing Minstreisy is
minstrelsy. and prize fight IS prize fight.
There IS no art in mixing the two.
\ qusrtette of variety people who have
come almost 10 seem Washingtonians is
composed of the Washburn Sisters Bertha
Douglas, and Jack Crawford ali four OF
whom have been seen at Kernan's twice
every season during the past five or six
years In their separate and distinct lines
each is very clever The Washburn Sisters
are especially well liked by the clientele Of
the house, and are always warmly rs-
ceiyed, as, indeed, IS Miss Douglas. Mr
Crawford's comedy work has won him many
friends among Manager Ksrnan's patrons.
Without discounting the methods which OBJ
tain in their branch of the profession
the quartette has made itself an interesting
and popular one Washington will be glad
to have it back again.
Once in the dim and and distant past
these columns contained en- article on The
Theosophy of Jokes" Had the screed been
delayed until now several new examples
might have bsen added TO it-among them
the fact that certain five stories were told
last week in each Of the five houses open
Academy. again at the Bijou, once more at
Kernan's. fourth time at the Lafayette.
and finally have enjoyed it at the Grand
This. Of course, if he or she had survived
the first quartstte of theatres.
Most of the older jests bToaehed at the
Grand came from George Wilson. who pre-
sumed on the fact that he can do more
toward winning laughter on an antiquity
than does anyone else to air a dozen or
more Of the vintage OF 20. Audiences laid
back in their seats and roared at these an
eedotes. TOO. though some delinquents were
a bit harsh in speaking OF them afterward
Probably 10 a critic of this sort is due
praise Or blame for the following verse,
which. dedicated 10 George Wilson. was
sent to The Times On Wednesday:
o. the jokes that old George Wilson teIls-they
net common jokes.
Such as came from Rice or Daniels or from other
famous mOkes;
There's nothing tame OF triiing about Wilson and
his fln;
Though his stories oft seem endless there's tale
to svery one.
He has Joke on married folk and he tells ii with
good grace.
Yet the yarn was but starting post for the
troubles OF cur race;
Eve sprung il in the garden and-alth0ugh you'll
Adam, angercd. picked the apple then to throw
at Mother Eve.
1t was at little dinrer-this the truth that his
tory Lends
Given by the wicked Btshazzar to party Of his
friends
1t was at this little dinner given some time in the
fall
That the story was next heard Of in handwriting
on the wall
Scientists Of note win tell yen that on an ancient
mummy's girth
Was found, at last, the reason why Ptolemy quit
ted earth;
1t is likely-say the dOetors-that this king was
short ef breath.
And that when he heard the marriage joke he
laughed himself 10 death.
Caesar told it to his army one dread night in
festive mood.
And to fhis. Iearn'd historians lay the Cartba-
genian feud,
For the yarn spun in Carthage. where If had
been heard before,
And next day the solemn senate voted for the
Roman
The tale reached Alexander and the noble Rus
Was sent away to Prussia in heavy armorsd
fleet
Napoleon heard it from a spy-he laughed him
seIf IN FITS
And thus got the famous stomach ache that he
had at Austerlitz.
50 this merry jest descended from age to later
Though it never has been written yet or printed
on page
That George wilson now has found it-iudss this
Shows thar mirstrels may be students-students
of antiquity.
This the ta'e that o,d George Wilson teIls-one