Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1899-10-12
HAD A KICK TO MAKE.
AND HE MADE 1T RIGHT TO THE HEAD
OF THE FIRM.

Vt tie FINN.
The Kicker Went About Landing His
Protest In q Rather Unconventional
Manner, but the Chances Are He
Got What He Was After.
"Yes, said the tall, loose jointed
man at the telephone, "that's the num-
Der want-229."
"Double two nine?'' queried the
voice at the central office.
"Well, don't know that double two
nine is any better than the plain, or
binary two two, nine, but if you insist
on that style suppose we say double
two single nine and get it exactly right
Hellol Is that Spotcash & Co. 's?'
eyes, . responded the voice at the
other end of the wire.
els Mr.. Spotcash in?''
sis it something important? He is
much occupied.
$50 am l. Yes; lisa matter of some
Importance, and l want to talk to Mr.
Spotcash personally. Yes; I'll hold the
wire-that is, I'll hold the phone
"Hello!' snapped somebody at this
juncture.
"Hello! IS that Mr.. spotcash?'
eyes. Who is it,"
"You are the head Of the firm of
Spotcash & Co., are you not?"
Eyes, was the impatient answer
"What do you want? Who are you?"
"Gwilliams, 1895 Pumpernickel
street. l want to enter complaint .
"What about?'
81 bought an icebox at your store
few days ago, and"-
"Call up the household goods depart
ment, confound you! I have no time to
spare to look after such things"
you've got as much time, perhaps,
as have l haven't any complaint to
make to the household goods depart
ment. The head Of the firm is the man
l want to talk to. bought an icebox
at your store few days ago for $16.75.
l might have got it cheaper somewhere
else, but that isn't the point. Having
bought it and paid for it, I had right
to expect it to be delivered within a
reasonable time and in fair condition.
1t didn come for four days, and when
it did GOMEZ
Say, you, l employ men to hear
complaints of this kind
81 have no use for them You're the
responsible man of the house. The sys-
tenn is yours If it doesn' work smooth
ly, it is your fault. When that icebox
came four days after purchase, one Of
the castors was missing, the varnish
was scraped off the outside surface in
more than a dozen places, and it looked
as if it had gone through hard season
at cheap boarding house -
eff there's anything wrong with it, -
roared Mr.. Spotcash, "send it back! I
can't take up my time
''Stand little farther away from
the phone, Mr.. Spotcash Your voice
sounds as if you had your mouth full
of mashed potatoes
"Who the devil are your"
ST think gave you my name and
address williams, 1895 Pumpernickel
street, next door to Lazarus j. Spill
horn. You don't know me from a
stuffed alligator, but you may have
heard of Spillhorn. Don't you allow
yourself to get hot, Mr.. Spotcash, over
an icebo1. The incongruity of such a
thing ought to be apparent even to the
head of an overgrown junkshop''-
eff you We're here, sir. should kick
you out of my Office
you would probably need some help.
If that icebo2 had simply been defaced
little, shouldn't have made any fuss
about it. bit the stupid ass you sent to
deliver it
Haven't you sense enough, you in
fernal idiot, to know that I don't look
personally after the little details of a
business amounting to millions of dol
lars year?''
eff you don't grasp every detail of
that business, you Cheap John notion
peddler in gilt binding, you are not
fit to be the boss of It'll Don't try to
crawl out of the responsibility by
throwing the blame on some boy. If
that icebox had simply been defaced a
little, repeat. l shouldn't have made
any fuss about it, but the fellow you
sent to deliver it didn't have any more
sense than to tumble it on the side
walk
Bring it back, blank you''-
''Look here Spotcash. that won't do,
you know. You are not allowed to tall
in that style over the telephone. Exer'
else little common sense, Spotcash
You know it isn't my place to bring
that icebox back. The proper thing tc
do you thirty third degree haberdashel
and toy vendor, is to send me new
icebox and take the damaged one
back
.'You blank fool. do you think yor
can tell me-
again let me tell you, Spotcash
not to use such language over the tele
phone. Some remote ancestor of your
may possibly have been a gentleman
Try to emulate him, Spotcash. In thu
meantime please accept the assurance
Of my distinguished consideration, ant
the iceboN will remain in my dwelling
+ subject to your order. If it is replaced
! properly and within reasonable time
you will not hear from me again. If i
isn't | shall call you up, Spotcash, per
sonally dozen times a day through al
tho M blic talaDboneS in TOWN T how