The Wilmington daily Republican. (Wilmington, Del.) 1890-1902, 1899-01-10
A.-D0M OMEnY.
The sExpsNiENcE oF- A WIFE VINO
!, WANTED GOLDEN HAIR.

or, better. 1t was varihuedA-that Is to say,
there were strands Of dark yellow, heavy
understratum Of indecisive brown and a
number Of scattered wisps OF bronse red
All Of the hair was naturally wnvy and Ii
was rather attractive ard fetching on no.
count Of the oddity of the color scheme OF
1t. Her husband liked it--whiGh, under
old fashioned domestic canons, ought to
have been enough-and he called her the
rainbow headed" and the 'prismatio
haired and the "crazy quilt hirsuted, "
Eos "a ss3a2, er-AHss, ii,ascullns yay ~
all, hut In a manner Of affection, because
he really liked his wife's hair as 1t was.
But she didn't like 1t. The variety Of
tints worried her. She wanted ono color
hair, and the one color she wanted WAS
golden.
"Jim," she said to her husband afew
weeks ago,-"I'm going to peroxide my
hair
Jim let his pipe fall out Of his hands
and got ashes all over his new 90. 40 fancy
vest. r.
'You arc, heyp' said he "You only
think yeu are, and you've got several
more thinks coming. What in the deuce
can you be dreaming of, anyhow"
Just this" she replied. "There's a
bit Of every old color known to science in
my hair except blue and green. You
yourself call me your chameleon topped
I'm tired of having all sorts and condi-
tions of hair Moreover, I've got fair,
lily white skin and beautiful hazel eyes
(I'm only quoting you; you used to tell
me they We're the gorgeousest eyes on the
map). and yellow hair would just suit
me. just fancy the combination golden
hair and the gOrgeousest hazel eyes on
the map! Wherefore, remark again, In
tone filed with passionate yearning, Jim,
Pm going to peroxide my hair.
well, I'll tell you one thing" he re.
Piled, gazing at her steadfastly "If you
do, it'll let me ont. It'll be the finish.
I'll go to seq. I'll 60 to New York or
take some other equally short route to the
demnition bowwows. You hear me a.talk-
ing" -
"But, finland she addressed him
now from no greater distance than hisz
own knee-"I just want to peroxide my
hair, you know. Seer"
"You're pretty fancy wheedler, but ii
doesn't go. Seer" was Jim's retort Il
don't see anything the matter with your
hair as it stands What's the matter with
your hair9 You've got bully hair. I'd
rather toy with that head Of hair-here,
femme alone-I can't get my breath.
Who's been putting such stuff into your
head? Whom do you want to look like any
how? Lydia Thompson at the age Of 1129
Cut it out, my dear. Your hairs good
enough for me. Wait'll you get me under
the sod and then you can have it painted
ultramarine if you want to-
How dreadful you do talk Sod" she
replied. LAS If that wouldn't just break
my-but, Jimmy boy, can't just touch
it up at the sides and around the front
and top, then--just leetle, teeny, weeny
bit-please, mister man, can't II"
Nope, you can't" said Jim, with de-
oision. "It's all of. have spoke. And,
say, dye think you could let me read my
paper for about four consecutive minutes,
please, ina 'am?"
This didn't settle the matter, though, by
whole lot. She got q very swagser black
tailor made dress about ten days ago, and
the idea of yellow hair In combi nation
with tho black dress took possession Of her
"Jim," she said on the evening the black
dress was delivered to her, with refer
snce to my about to be peroxided hair
II have the honor to inform you that
there amt going to be no peroxide" inter-
rupted Jim, carrying out her business
form of conversation, whereat she ceased.
''I'll just go down and have 1t done
anyhow" she said to herself the next
morning. "Hell be 90 delighted with
the way it looks that he won't do q thing
but fall upon my neck and weep for very
joy"
She had 1t done. Not touched up. All
over. A dead yellow. Hempen yellow.
When the job was done and she saw her.
self in the glass, she didn't admire it quite
SO much as she anticipated she would.
Nor was she quite so confident that when
Jim saw her transformed head he would
fall upon her neck, etc,
"Uh-huh," said he when he came In
that evening, you've done it, seel'
"Like 1t, Jimmy boy?'
"Not by n joyful, do I like it!' he re-
piled, not amiably. "Where do / cut in
In this OUTFIT What did say about this
chemical blond business, hey?"
There was no conversation In the house
for tho remainder Of the evening. A
gloomy silence brooded DER tho carpets.
When Jim went to his office the next
morning, d steely light was in his eye He
tugged at his straw, red, brown and au-
burn mixed yandyke beard savagely.
Then he retired to hotel barber shop
and had his straw, red, brown and au-
burn mixed vandyko beard dyed deep,
dull, objectionable Stygian black When
he emerged from tho hotel barber shop,
the hirsute trimmings on his countenance
were blaoker than the blacklist thing ever
seen on land or sea. They were SO black
that they made the exposed portions of his
face look CHASTITY white lie looked like
photograph taken after death. He en-
dured the guying of his friends and asso-
ciates for the remainder of the day, and
then he went home and burst into the
house with q grisly attempt ut a CHEEKY
grin and bluff manner. His wife met
him in the hall. "How dye like itY" he
asked her. "Great, amt it? Real thing,
hey2 Thought I'd have it fixed up as a
sort of contrast to you, y'know. Now
we-e .5G.k ornamental around the house
too. You look like All orange padded ia
bouret, and look like the cross section Of
an oil stove. Oh, aim we lovely bunch?"
Then ho caught sight Of himself in the
mirror over the mantel and fell into a
chair and howled mirthlcssly
After several hours of pleading she in.
duced him to sneak around to late clos
ing barber shop, whore he had his beard
and mustaChc removed She cannot, in
return, have her dead yellow hair shaved
close to her head, of course, but he has