davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-12-16
lightning Rod Man
in Germany

Germany IL l ov the largest countrys
ov its size on the map. Berleen IL l ov
the largest sitys in Germany d l am IN
Berleen but will say nawt konserning my
own size.
The German peepil are a very smart
race tho hardly az fast az the French
race or the Brooklyn Handycap There
may be Germans who due not ware
glasses, but If there are eny thaY are
kept well in the backgrounds l hav not
seen eny ov them. There may awlso be
Germans who don't drink beer, but If
sutch be the case it liz kept a profound
sekret d iz not ViZabel . the naked i.
The onley resemblance / have diskoverd
so far, that the Germans bare the
Heethin Chinee IL that both are pekulier
with a capitol l.. prove my statement
2 the CRATE American Publick | will re-
late an insident in witch the ritter played
a leedin part. In my usual good natured
way / walkt in . a saloon d az | awl-
ways due in deer old Amerika slapt the
bartender Gn this case it waz a bar
made) on the back and informed thoze
present that thay was Untitled drink
at my Xpents Gents" seZ l. watts
yure pleshuTe?'
l seen in a mint that l had maid a
mistake by callin them gents thay
waz far from it.
Thay began size me up from he'd .
foot az tho thay didn't like the SCOT had
on. This amt konsiderd good form in
the Land ov the Free and the Home ov
the Brave, but in order 2 fawl in with the
ways ov the country az Sezar told us =
due C'When yure in Rome due the Ro-
mans or thayll due yOu'O SO l turnd
around slowly & sez "what due you think
ov the fit across the showlders?"
Not ov the idiuts sed a word, but kept
rite on rubberin. Then 1 began think
that maybe thay want edukated enuff
speak Inglish so in order . make them
feel cheep desided tawk in Germany,
counted up the bunch in the bar
room & found thay numberd is. Well,
| waz stuck beCaws | coodnt say is In
Germany, but az Shakespeare SEE, "its
a thirsty man that can't get a drink" so
awlso duz A Kidder say that "The Amer
ikan peepil, Thos. Edisun inklooded, are
natchral born inventors" L walkt up z
the bar once more & speellin ostensibly :
the bartendress but reely airin my mol
ledge ov the Parental langwidge oV Ger
many the benefit ov the gatherd gests
sed, MADAM, Ich want nine biers swi
times" she lookt at me az tho l waz
Jo 10 the dawg faced boy in Mr.. Bar
NUNS sirkus, but never a word did she
utter. Remembering, suddinly, that the
formashun ov sentensez in Germany ia
different from that ov the states
twisted IL round
"Swi biers, Ich wants. nine times, mad,
am" sez /.
Her face waz like most ov the Lottery
tickets by a blank.
mine times, Ich wants, swi biers
Madam" 1 repeeted tWistin it once more
Astonishment waz smeeTed awl ovel
her face.
mine biers swi times Ich wants"
reiterated In a diffrent way.
A kind ov a far away lamp lite fiickerC
in her opticks & she sed, II nix ferstay.'
"Well thank the Lord you amt def 4
dunn" l remaTkt, "& IL you waz a mar
there mite be a little run house az
they say in Arizona"
SOP SEE she.
"Jest So" SEE I.
Mock der deer tsu," stated I.
"Du bis verfookt," she replide.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-12-16

Even So" sez |, that don't interfere
with my thurst"
wat wilst due habben?" exklaimd she.
Itch Whilst swi biers gehabben nine
times. awlreddy," l sed.
500 Sed she.
Certainly it's So" l kontinude, "Tm
goin blow myself the benefit ov theze
yahoos that's tryin 2 look a hole in me,
konts due ferstay?"
Mine"
mo, 49," 1 holerd. Here's the
mummy pay it," q l threw it on the
bar 50 saying.
"Ich vice MICH" she rcglide.
Hast due elm interperter?' l interi-
gated.
Nine" stated her.
"Then goodness sake bring l ov them
out till ] lick him"
"Nine?" SEE she.
yes" sez /, gettin desprit, bring
at time & III lick them awl."
"Yaw?' she remarkt.
"Yaw," L ekkode with mphasis
"Nne?" SEE she again
by the great Jehosiphat bring EN- awl
2 gether d lie take chants"
/ waz just talln off my kote g. gettn
reddy 4 the frakus when a fello rusht
in & sez:
Fer the love o IIlvin if there's goin .
be ruNshun lit me hav peace ov it,,
l haven't had a good schrap snts l lift
DOnnegawl."
Thank the Lord there's man in Ger
many that's an Amerkan," SEE | grab
bin him by the hand.
sure I'm not an American yit, but I'm
gOin over shortly; me brother liz cneaf
ov police in Kalamazoo Due ye no
him?"
81 due not" scz l.
Gwen he haz me papers awl taken out
| fer me & I'm goin jine the foorse az
sune az l strike the town" he replide.
l told my life saver my story d he
replide: 'lt wood due We no good if she
did understand ye becaws the omadons
| in this country never trCet l another.
III that so?" 1 askt.
at tiz," sez my friend, "but I'm not
| from this country" he added, with a
twinkle in hiz i.
"Neether am l." replide, what will
| you have"
What duz eny Irishman have" replide
| he.
"In take the same" SEE I. "but you'll
| hav order it. Kin you tawk Dutch?"
| kontinude.
"It aint nessery," he rcmarkt and
| smilin at the bartender he held up .
| fingers S she sot 2 glasses & a bottel in
! front ov us.
| We had "a 1st rate time & ! desided
| that the next time I visit Germany III
| take an interpreter with me becaws the
peepil cant understand there own lang
widge & without an Interpreter Germany
IL worse than Philadefia on Sunday.
| A. Kidder.
Mr. Editur: After thinkin it over
| find that the Germans show CRATE sents
| in rofraining from the treeting habit. II
want until daze after l met tho
Irishman that ! diskoverd that this tai
had a morel & this IL it;
There's menny a man in Amerika that
wood go home sober evrey mite i'm the
year If 1t want the drinks hiz trends
by him.
| Perhaps you no sum. A. X.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-12-16
ss.sssss..sss.ssssxs
Toilet sets, manicure sets and brio a-brac

The greatest gathering Of holiday novelties under
roof Christmas gifts for everybody and at all prices -Four special
sections for art goods and novelties.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1899-08-22
KISSING BUG HARMLESS.
\ Jersey Entomologist Says They Are
Not Poisonous.

\ Jersey Entomologist Says They Are
Not Poisonous.
Presty maidens With tempting lips
need not he any more afraid of the
kissing bug than they are of young
men, according to the statement made
by Professor John Il. Smith, the New
Jersey State Entomologst, who de-
clares solemnly and with an air OF con
yiction that the bite of the insect is as
harmless as common, eVery-night
bcdbug,
II have been bitten by them many u
time. said Professor Smith, and II
anyone will bring me live kissing bug
! viii let II STING Ia its hearts content.
We are simply going through a craze
like the Que We had when spider bites
we're popular, Every who was
bitten by any kind of AN insect Was
bitten by spider, The same Ia true
nov A kissing bus feeds an caierpil.
lars aud other insects, and may thus
sometimes convey pois0ns but The in
sect 10 no more numerous ur danger
Ola nov than u ever vac
The Hawaiian gazette., 1899-08-22
The Highly Case.

Before Judge Stanley yesterday the
assault and battery case against J. r.
Highly, on change of Venue from the
Second Circuit, was taken up, and the
following jury empaneled: p. II. Bur.
nette, A. J. Campbell. C. S. Weight, C
Pfeffer, Thos. f. Krouse, A. V. Peters
A. +. Cooke, w. +. Johnson, c. Elvin
A. S. Prescott, Jas. Steiner and Henry
Roth
Paul Neumann appeared for the pro.
secution with the Deputy Attorney.
General and Chas. Creighton for the
defendant.
J. Brightman, Richard Oliver, c. w
Schleiffer We're examined for the pro.
secution, which then rested its case
For the defense DR.. Oliver was re-
called and Patrick McLane. Ernest
Rencken, Akwai, Sylvester w. Cook
Daniel Dodd and Naailau had been eX-
amined up to 4:30 p. m.
In the case of Nancy X. Eldredge
VS.. Samuel Parker motion has been
filed that an order be issued requiring
the defendant TO forthwith furnish
and file in the records of said cause q
true and full copy of all amounts that
the said defendant relies on in his de-
Tense. whether by way of payment
set-off or otherwise. Wednesday at
o'clock is the time set for hearing the
motion.
In the case of Mary l.. Ludloff VS.,
Albert Ludlon and Elise Ludloff an
answer has been filed denying all the
allegations OF the complaint.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1899-08-22
DEVELOPMENT Of PEARL HAR
BOK.

II is very much to be regretted that
there will be any delay in the develop.
ment Of a naval station at Pearl Har.
Dor, by reason Of the unwillingness OF
the government to pay the prices de-
manded for land.
Whether the prices asked are or are
not too high, is not discussed. There
was some thought. after the organiza-
ton of the Provisional government,
about the purchase of land lying on
the Harbor, for the use of the United
there is a provision in the Hawaiian
Constitution which authorizes the To-
cal government to condemn land, in
the fuifillment of the treaty agree
ments. But no attempt was made to
secure any land whatsoever. Since
that time, the price of all lands border
ing adjacent to Pearl Harbor, have
largely increased in value, and the Off
Gals in Washington believe that the
pIltts are tN'tssiNtly HiSh' hes may
be in the error about ii, but II they
are, it will not be easy to convince
them of the error.
The Federal government may con-
denim the land required for a station,
but il well knows. that under con-
demnation proceedings, local jury
will take the ground that the Federal
government is rich and can afford to
pay any sum whatsoever, just as the
local government is required to pay
several prices" for land taken for
streets.
In the end. land must be acquired for
naval station, but there may be long
delays about it. and the matter be
hung up for some time. The Federal
government will hesitate to open a
channel over the Pearl Harbor bar,
until it secures the land it needs. To
do so, before obtaining the land, would
be merely to increase the present high
value, not at the expense of the owners
of il, but at the expense of the nation.
This Is not a good business PROPOSE
ton
The Hawaiian gazette., 1899-08-22
REP. E. {. RICHARDS
Hilo's Representative and
Its Post Office.
Business DeveicpmeptU the RAINY
City-N W Blocks Cons Up
The Olsa Plantation.

L. L. Richards who represents Hilo
in the Legislature and who is one Of
the Rainy City's most prominent men
Is visiting in Honolulu.
What are We doing in Hilo?" re-
peated Mr.. Richards yesterday in an
swer to a question. well, there is
nothing particularly startling. We are
not yet sufficiently advanced in civil
ization, suppose, to have the hustle
and excitement, murders and suicides.
such as Honolulu enjoys.
1.-THE Postoffice? That's a tender
spot. II ever there was needed pub
Inc Improvement on these Islands it is
a new postofice building for Hilo. The
present shanty is rich with years and
should long ago have been used for
kindling wood.
III we cannot have new building
at least let the present apology be
moved back. 1t stands right in the
center OF Front street, which is well
graded and macadamized and is one OF
the best thoroughfares of the city. Be-
tween the postoffice and the mauks
side of the street there Is room for
only one rig to pass at the time. On
the makai side the property is all gov
eminent land, and the building might
easily be moved back-that Is. If it
would stand moving. There Is an I'M
touched postoffice appropriation OF
$40 900 which will not be available
after December 31st So IL anything
is to be done it should be done at once.
"Hilo is going ahead in manner
satisfactory to those most interested.
In proportion we are having as much
building as is Honolulu. The Peacock
block is to be an elegant structure
which would ornament any city. The
Spreckels two story building is to have
an addition SO that the whole block
will be taken up with a uniform two
story structure.
"Olaa plantation is doing wonders for
Hilo. It has given employment to a
great number Of people and has been
the means OF greatly increasing the
volume OF business in every way.
Manager McStocker is surprising even
those who had expected great things
from him. He is a hard worker, and
all his efforts prove him the right man
for the place. Those who know most
about Olaa have mistaken confidence
in its future.
1.-The railroads are not causing much
talk, probably because the work f.
going on SO quietly. Surveys are being
made and preliminary arrangements
"Hilo was never more prosperous.
and best OF all its advancement is
steady and not the imitation Of boom"
Mr.. Richards did intend to return to
Hilo today, but recent business devel-
opments make it probable that he will
leave for the coast next Friday.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1899-08-22
THE FRENCH WOMEN.

In the Peace Conference at Tn,
Hague, the nations seemed to be stall
ed in the mire during the earlier meet.
lngs. Nor did there appear to be any
moral leverage for pulling them out
The delegates had lively suspicious
that the delegates of one nation pro-
posed to do up the delegates of the
other nation. Like meeting Of travel
ers on the highways of Texas, in the
old days, each kept his hand at his hip
pocket, while he conversed, and was
ready for emergencies. But there was
kindly feeling in the air, and the
doves Of peace, lowering above the
conference, were converted into pigeon
pot pies, which generated spirit of
Cancellation around the lunch boards.
1t Is said that one of the most power
full agencies in developing an agree
ment for disarmament, or the settle
ment of difficulties by arbitration, was
the attitude Of the French women,
throughout France. NJ. Burgois, one
Of the French delegates had taken a
neutral position on the subject, as he
naturally would in view Of the STRAINED
relations between Germany and
France. But the women Of France
know what war means. They knew
too the sorrow and discomfort and
hardship which follows CONSUMPTION,
and the loss OF husbands and sons
They addressed petitions and letters to
the delegate, beseeching him to aid In
any reasonable plan for the abolition
of war. He felt the pressure, and, with
the consent Of his government, did
effective work in encouraging peace
tendencies. In the Napoleonic wars,
In the Franco-Prussian war, the
women were the most patriotic advo-
Gates of advancing the French flag, in
the cause of expansion. They now
take on the new faith, and would furl
the flag at the borders, and substitute
for glory" the contentment of home,
and the blessings of peace. The women
are emerging from the ignorance and
degradation which has made them in
different, though the real sufferers, un-
der the scourges of war and pestilence.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1899-08-22

cious animal, is fond OF genial climate
and an out Of door life. He will scent
out generous community. just as
cattle pick out water holes.
1t is now pretty we'll known that the
hOrdes Of tramps who infested the east
ern States, after the Civil war were
the results of the abnormal conditions
Of that war. The nature Of military
service draws out of men the habit
and desire for monotonous and peace
full labor. 1t was a singular exhibition
of the social conditions, during the
seventies, when, for instance, the towns
ON the highways between Boston and
New York, and the highways between
New York. Albany, and Philadelphia,
were infested with able bodied men.
who slept In the barns, asked and
asked and even demanded food at the
farm houses, and finally created a mild
reign Of terror, until laws were passed
which grossly insulted the tramps, and
piVmpttu thV" W "ithuid" Nhtli
patronage of the housekeepers.
For the same and other causes, the
tramp is about to infest this city.
There is but one way to dispose Of
them, so far as they make personal
visits to residences. That is, to refer
them at once to the Office OF the Asso-
ciated Charities, and decline to give
them aid. IL any one desires to give
aid to any particular tramp, because
he tells an uncommon tale of woe, It
should be done through the Associated
Charities. II the tramp does not move
on, the police station should be rung
up, and the case stated. The police
department should have quick and
special service for this purpose. For
the outlying districts. a mounted SER
vice should be ready at all times.
Unless citizens. and especially house
keepers, act together, our social life
will soon be made annoying. The AS
ISOLATED Charities should, and will,
act for the entire community, and no
doubt they will be sufficiently provided
with funds
The Hawaiian gazette., 1899-08-22
AT "HALFIWA "
List of Those Staying at WaialiIa
Last Week.

The following were registered at
"Haleiwa, Waialua," for the week end
ing August 20: Miss Judd, Sophia
Boyd Judd, Honolulu; Mrs. T. X. AL
drich, Grand Isle, VT; w. d. McBryde.
Wahiawa; II. J. Buntin, Cincinnati,
o.: w. G. Walker, Ookala; +. Hart
mann, Papaikou; A. Z. Cooley, Miss NJ
ID. Jones, Honolulu; Gertrude Steven,
Helen Steven, New York City: Howard
w. Adams, Dawson City; G. S. Cunha,
Honolulu; VIM. II. Edgar. Chicago;
Mrs. Gerrit p. Wilder, Honolulu: Mrs.
r. II. Berg, Kahului; Arthur Without,
Gala; A. +. Knudsen and wife, A. c.
Russell. Kauai: Mary ID Frear, DR.. and
Mrs. J. NJ. Whitney, G.. NJ. Whitney,
+. A. Schaefer and family, Mrs. J. w.
Robertson, Mrs. j. Lawrence and
White and wife. Austin Hall White.
Mrs. J. Wilson Cathcart, VIM. C. Parke.
+. l.. Marshall. Mrs. w. c. Parke, Miss
Parke, Honolulu; NJ S. King, C.E..
Berkeley, Cal. A. Il. Nichols, Wahia
wa: Mrs. A. s. Humphreys, DR.. J. III.
Raymond, J. II. Highly, w. l.. Eaton,
Geo. w. Kiester, A, Berg, b. +. Dill
lingham, Honolulu; Senator C. ID.
Clark, Wyoming, U.S.A.; Samuel Par
ker, p. Muhlendorf, Theo. II. Lansing.
Colonel J. W. Jones, +. NJ. Lewis, Colo
mel George Mcleod, NJ. Phillips, l.. Il.
Pinkham, II. q. Ashley. NJ. f. Gross
man, Captain w. c. Wilder, T. X.
Smith, c. ]. Falk, c. s. LeMunyon, H0-
nolulu
The Hawaiian gazette., 1899-08-22

session Sales-Morning Session
One hundred and sixty-seven Olaa, as
sessable, AS: 10 Haiku, $3.50; 25 Olaa
paid up, $13; $50 McBryde, paid up
$3.50.
Afternoon SYSTEMATICALLY Homo.
kaa, $3.50: Is Honokaa, $27.25: Is Ho-
nokaa, $21; 10 Olaa, As; 40 Ookala
S22.5O; 20 Ookala, 1925.
Outside Sales Reported-One hun.
dred kihei. 80; $50 Honokaa, $27.5O; /;
Pioneer Mill. $265.
Quotation Changes-Thirty-tw
The Hawaiian gazette., 1899-08-22
A PERlLOUS EXPERIMENT.

A Subscriber, living on the Island of
Maui, seriously asks the Advertiser,
why it Is that able bodied and intelli-
gent balloons have not been, hereto
fore, employed by men, as other ami
mails have been. He may as well ask
why electricity was not used as a motor
power from the days of Moses to the
year 1880. There Is something In the
action of the ''fulness of time" which
Is not understood. in its treatment
Of evolution. Perhaps the old darby,
In the times of slavery, gave the
answer, though not wholly salts.
factory. Looking through the bars OF
the baboon's cage. at Circus exhibit
ton, the venerable negro visitor
watched him for some moments. and
then remarked: You mighty wise old
Teller, you jess speak English, and
white men put hoe in yer hand,
less'n no time" On the other hand.
Heine, the German poet, looking at the
large ape in the Geological gardens Of
Paris. said: He sits there in melanch-
oily and refuses to work He is dis
tressed at the conduct of men, his des-
cendants, who daily commit more fol-
lies than all of the tribe of apes that
exist"
But, why should men employ SINH
ans, when their fellow beings will
work in some places for five cents a
day? The Simians may be the re-
served forces of civilization. Indus
trial evolution results in great fac
tories, in which unskilled men and
women stand up, and feed bits of metal
into a machine, for ten hours a lay,
and do nothing more. But, in all in
telligent industrial work, the brain be-
hind the hand has the most value, and
as the education of the workman in
creases. the value of his work in
creases
Where does the able bodied Simian
come in? Only, when men no longer
do brainless work, and the creatures
of a lower order must do il.
If the pelican can he probably used
In catching fish, why indeed should
not the baboon he proftably used in
stripping cane?
The scheme of adding Simians to our
industrial forces should not be en-
couraged. If II endangers the social
fabric" II the balloons, under some
well organized form of University EX-
tension, should suddenly experience
the dawn of consciousness, there would
be the danger on any plantation which
employs them in large numbers of
strike, in which they would appear,
in checkered trousers and silk hats OBJ
tanned al the plantation store, before
the plantation manager, and eNclaim,
We have got our manhood AT last.
II Is now fifteen dollars a month or
fight" Each one Of them, claiming 10
be "rhe man with the hoe" and, as
such, entitled to ciyll rights, would add
another "a the many problems which
are before the people ~ Hawaii.
The subject needs careful handling,
.lt % proved to bee Improbable 10 ON
gloy lhrm an The plantation, one or
moro Of them would as paragraphisls
In the columns Of tho local daily de-
voted 90 professional patriotism, IN
'reasa lis deserved reputation Tor
paragraphiCal wit
While The economic question 1T tho
employment ui simian labor h attrae.
i've the moral and political slde may
be- equally lmpoFtalt
The Hawaiian gazette., 1899-08-22
NEW SOUTH WALES SUGAR.

The Colonial Sugar Refining Com
pany, Ia a circular 20 the sugar-grow.
ers IN the Clarence River, New south
Wales, states that II IL unlikely that
the Federal iarirI viii be In operation
iill 1901, and undertakes Ia purchase
cane NJ Tor cutting tlll the end " that
year
The Hawaiian gazette., 1899-08-22

The trustees should obtain the best
wisdom of the world in adopting a
policy regarding the management OF
the Estate. They need the aid of the
student and the scholar, the aid Of men
who have the leisure and the ability
TO think out difficult problems of tlns
kind.
VIM. Cunningham in recent article
on English Imperialism, said that II
was not hand-to- mouth eXpedicnt,
but an academic movement and large
ly, the work of scholar, and not a
business man. II was Sir John Seeley.
Regius Professor of History in the
University of Cambridge, who, as a
student, saw the economic condition
and requirements of Great Britain.
He preached and taught what the
policy OF the nation should be. Lord
Rosebcry publicly acknowledged the
this scholar for directing II In the right
paths, The business men had little
time To study his writings, but the
men whose hands were an the helm,
and who sailed the Ship Of State,
studied the charts he made for them,
and followed his directions when
squaring away with the unknown
ocean OF commercial expansion
In the general advancement ~
knowledge In these days, the scholar
and the student become more ImPor
tant every year, Professor, nov Pres
Ident nadley. of Yale College, gave "a
tho railroad capitalists Of Amcrlca, tho
frsl aud the best valuable knowledge
IT the relations ~ the railroads 10 tha
state,
Thpsa ~ Va, Who admire the pin
anIhropy of the creaiors ~ The Blshon
Estate, earnestly desire that che hls-
The Hawaiian gazette., 1899-08-22

tory OF its acts. shall repeat as few as
possible of those many errors which
so often appear in the management of
great charitable estates.
The Hawaiian gazette., 1899-08-22
Council Of State.

President Dole has called a meeting
OF the Council OF State for II o'clock
on Wednesday lie said last night that
the business 10 be considered was the
granting ~ certain pardons,
The Hawaiian gazette., 1899-08-22
IkASli's

II 10 true, beyond question, that We
sre anaorins iho "aRe Of iramps' Ia
these Iaiandsr Tho tramp "a a sasa.