The Portland daily press., 1899-09-06
TwITT GOES ROWING.
mr.. McNaggetrs Pleasant Experiences
One Fine Afternoon.

failing at the end Of the pier, aud its
principal ornament was Mrs. Twitt Nc
Naggctt, who sat very gingerly in the
stern and gave vent now aud anon to
short exclamations, which might have
been meant rs expressions OF joy, but
which. IL SO, were strangely misleading
On the pier stood her liege lord, a glo-
rious vision in white duck, with brass
buttons, tan shoes and neat yachting
cap.
His whiskcrs were freshly dyed, and
he didn't look his age-35-by several
weeks.
He was talking TO group of pretty
girls, and his soft, persuasive tones could
be heard above the din OF the adjacent
factory whistle for II was high noon.
"Oh, Mr.. McNaggett, we're efraidv'
The youngest aud prettest said this,
with coy gigglc, which filed Mrs. Nc
Naggett's devoted heart with acute jeal-
onsy.
Don't ask them to go, Twitt," she
said. "You know you can't row."
Ii was an unfortunate remark.
Mr.. McNaggett's face looked like
thundercloud vanished with vitriol as
he turned on his wife.
"Who can't row?' he shouted what
dye mean by sitting there and-and
making false statements? If there is one
thing / can do, it's row! IL that's the
way you feel, why don't You get out and
go homer
81 will" retorted his wife, with an an
noying show OF spirit, and she climbed
out of the boat ON to the dock, "and you
ought to be ashamed of yourself to talk
that way to your lawful welded wife,
Then she flew up the dock and was
lost to view.
Mr.. McNaggett gasped uneomfortably
and looked snealxingly at the group of
girls.
1t was evidently joke to them, for
they were laughing heartily.
So he drew deep breath and assumed
a debonair manner that he was far from
feeling.
"wcll, will you go" he queried,
"Oh, yes." chorused the group. Wen
go little ways
1--WE can all SWIM" was the cruel re-
mark of one.
"And you seem like nice. strong,
careful old man." smiled another-the
president.
The word "old" almost killed Mr.. Nc
Naggett
The joy Of the morning seemed to fade
away, and black pail of gloom fell upon
his soul.
Had he toiled for two hours at those
whiskers, dyeing even the back of his
neck and the tip of his nose, to be called
"oll?"
He "cast off, with heavy heart and
looked at his cargo of Ave sweet and
solid maidens with mixed emotions.
Then he sat down in the center seat
and picked up the oars in professional
manner
A burst of laughter came from his pas
sengers.
"Wly. Mr. McNaggett, you're sitting
the wrong way"
He was indeed facing the bow.
He turned clumsily, almost upsetting
the boat and laughed in gkastiy way.
"Jusl did that To see il you'd notice it,
he said.
Then he plunged the oars into the wa
Ter and pulled.
"Look out for that fishing boatl" they
screamed.
j They grazed It by quarter of an inch
and were soon 10 midstream.
81 want to so back!" walled the youn-
gest maiden.
80 do III cflcu anotner.
But by this time Mr.. McNaggett was
doing very well.
Desperation nerved his arm, and, be-
sides, he was going with the flood tide
full in his favor, though he did not know
this.
.'It's all right. he said. "why, this
is easy"
(, 1t did, indeed, seem so.
8l.o hox r. Gna
style, and his breast syelled with pride.
Cant row, chr he muttered. Il
only wish she could see me now"
In about half an hour one of the
young women said:
Hadn't we better turn back, Mr.. Nc
Naggett? You know lllcheon is at /.
Wen just about have time to get there"
For answer the man at the oars nod
ded. He ceased rowing and proceeded
TO '.back water" with his port oar while
he pulled With his siarboard.
The boat took all his strength TO turn,
but at length he headed her up stream.
Then he drew a long breath, settled
himself firmly in his seat and pulled.
He pulled again. He kept on pulling.
whats the matter, Mr.. McNaggetti"
",ri1e's pretty strong" he muttered.
ASNt w ~ sCA16 tANAhoAts o~ANeAAA
ed one.
He knew that What fools women
were.
He gave eight more frantic pulls and
then dropped the oars in distress. The
women all screamed.
Il can't row any more," he gasped,
with his hand on his side. 81 think I'm
dying"
"oh, you old wretch" shrieked the
nrettiest girl, ITO lure us out here to be
drowned!'
But the eldest maiden was girl of
ideas.
'You lie down in the bow" she said
to Mr.. MeNaggett sternly. "Now, Rosie.
you and Katie take one oar, and Mary
and ] will take the other. Susie can
steer"
And in this ignominious fashion they
reached the pier after an hours hard
work, and, of course, Mrs. McNaggett
had to be there on the lookout.
Its all your fault" said her husband
as they sneaked home through the grin
ming village. 'It wouldn't have hap.
q