Omaha daily bee., 1899-03-07
SWEARS BY COUNCIL BLUFFS
Though Greeted with Frost and Fall He
Won Out Handsomely,
Ex-TANK NO. 8 TELLS HIS EXPERIENCE
Ran Up Against Belt Warmer, n
Job and n Fnkir and Chcrishcs
Warm Feeling for
the Town.

the Town.
Now, talking about towns, Council Bluffs
gets more knocks than any town | know
Of" said exTank No. S of the Harlem Club
of Former Alcoholic Degenerates, when, at
the clubs last meeting, a discussion, re-
ported by the New York Sun, arose on the
subject of the most hopeless cities in the
country in which to go broke. But I've
been up against worse than Council Bluffs.
Council Bluffs is clammy locker, and all
that, but there's one good thing about 1t,
they don't run you in out there II you
strike the place in the dead of winter with
out an overcoat The constables just look
you over, and If you don't make the mis-
take of shivering, and just slide along as
IL you never wore an overcoat in your life
and wouldn't wear seaskn blanket
| IL you had one, they don't chase you. This
| thing of being compelled to dodge cops, as
you have to do in good many towns could
mention, simply because you've left the
| overcoat in the last town back, done up
| with camrhor balls, is not what it's cracked
UP to be, and that's why l give Council
BLUFFS what's coming to 1t in this little mat
| ter of detail. But that's not ALL either.
won out once in Council Bluffs, and
IL would warn No. s." interposed eX-
Tank No. 6, the parliamentarian and kicker,
rising, "that none but truthful statements
| are spread upon the records of this organiza-
| ton, and that this outfit has no sort or
afiliation whatever with the Harlem Liars
club; consequently, in making such mani
| testify impossible statement that he at one
time won out in Council Bluffs, No. Is
guilty Of"
| point not sustained" interrupted the
k,,t yIn ~ n
self and win out in Chicago, as our records
prove No. to Rave done, is capable of land
| ing right even in Council Bluffs, insurmount-
able as the difficulty of such an undertaking
would seem. No. 8 will proceed"
He Got There.
ooh. It wasn't so hard" resumed No. 8.
! 81 don't exactly understand how it was that
my ticket read to Council Bluffs and not
| across the bridge to Omaha. ! don't remem-
ber how l got that ticket in Chicago any
| how After | got S12 and ticket on the
| oyercoat way down on South Clark street
| remember figuring it out that Omaha
would be pretty good place to hit up next,
but somehow or another l didn't get my
money down right in the scalpers once
where l got the ticket, so that the conductor
| ditched me at Council Rlufs at O'CLOCK
| in the morning 1t was early in January,
a couple Of feet of snow. l was alseep In
the smoker when the conductor came along
| and gave me the shoulder hunch and yelled
| Council Bluffs-this Is where you fall off,
at me, and that was the first l knew that
wasn't booked any further than Council
| Bluffs. In stepping off the train l slipped
and fell on the ice, and l came down on the
pint bottle that l had in my rear right hand
pocket. Gentlemen, that was the bitteres'
! moment of my life. l do not refer to the
broken particles of glass that adhered to
and penetrated me; but to be deposited at
Council Bluffs at of the clock on mid
winter morning with two feet of snow or
the ground and nary the price in your
clothes, and then to have 6. whole carefully
nursed pint go to smash on you-well,
simply submit it to the club If that WASH
harder'n wrought nails
A murmur of sympathy ran around the
room.
"It was darker than ink when I picked
| myself up and tried to look around" re-
| sumed No g. "and still showing. l missed
my overcoat lot. There wasn't a soul
| at the station and the waiting rooms were
locked up tight looked through the wait
ing room windows and saw big base
burner redhot all around the bottom, stand
ing in the middle Of the room; but its heat
wasn't for me. When my train pulled Out
and left me standing there all alone in the
snow, overcoatless, with thin summer rus
set shoes on and thirst that up to that
hour had been plenteously assuaged for
fully three weeks previously-well, | was
almost sorry that l had not been good.
might even venture to say that, upon men
tally turning over parts Of my past career
/ almost found myself deficient in some few
had tn lanr Inn or
to death, and so / struck up town. / had
to make the first track in the snow my
self and it wasn't easy walking. Now, II
was pretty cold and | remembered that my
underwear wasn't particularly warm l got
a short. grisly chuckle anyhow out of that
suit Of underwear had on when / thought
about 1t. 1t was silk, and it had cost me $40
had got four suits of it while was doing
my eight months sober act in Chicago or
velvet, and didn't know what had become
of the other three suits. The grim humol
of the blooming idea got CHASTITY laugh
out Of me even as ploughed along through
the snow that bleak morning In Council
Bluffs.
Strikes a Lead.
"The first CLEAN of light l caught sight o.
came from couple of oil lamps in a corner
rum factory that was just opening up a
about 5 o'clock / didn't have the dime, bu
] went in, anyhow. There was young fel
low with a good natured mug starting the
ball a-rolling behind the bar He looked mi
over when ! walked in and over to the stove
At that guess l must have been good dea
of an apparition to him. / had on blacl
cutaway coat, worsted trousers, the summer
russets and black derby and | had abou
three inches of snow all over me-
" Been doin job?' the young fellow be
hind the bar asked me.
"Job?' said l, for / didn't understand
him exactly, being a heap dazed with th
cold and things.
"'Where did you leave your tools? h
asked and then / got next to his meaning
i, told him hadn't got around to the crack
ing game yet
"You look like you'd been left at tn
post, at that he said consolingly, and thei
told him had Just got in.
"'Nice place, when you say 1t fast-th
Blufs-like hell, amt it?' he said, and
, soon found out that he was from Chicago.
"'Have few" he said then. showing u
tall bottle and when | told him | WASH
buying, he said that he hadn't supposed
was, and passed the bottle up anyhow
I Decent duck, wasn't he? Then he went
! the back room and cooked his breakfast c
! steak fried eggs and potatoes, and invite
, me TO jump at it with him II any membe