The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-09-25
soUABRLEyG FOR HoNoRs

| y
Admiral Dewey royal reception suitable
to the man and the occasion. Chicago de-
sires To give him another. New York de-
| clares she shan't so there, now, and the
Windy City hurls back sarcasm and de-
| f2nce in double loaded BREWER, in min
ion and in ironical squibs in solid nom
pareil.
1t is a paper war. but up to date it is
fast and furious. OF course Chicago is
obliged to concede the fact that New
Yorl. will see Dewey first, and wind the
first loud blast on the speaking trump of
fame There are typographical objections
which are insurmountable to the ad-
miral going around New York and max
ing his first landing in the Chicago river
near Rush street bridge. Chicago con-
| cedes this much, but she desires to have
Admiral Dewey come on overland, via
Niagara Falls, to the metropolis OF the
| Northwest, and receive such magnifi-
cent welcome as will give Gotham pain
and sting her entire corporate system
with shafts of envy. Chicago believes she
can do this and not half try. She has
sublime confidence in her ability to make
the New York affair look like thirty
cents and the eyes of the hero Of Manila
bung out.
But a bad, jaundiced, Jealous man
named Guggenheirner, who is president OF
the New York committee on reception
says may, nay, Pauline" Not much.
One such ovation as will be accorded to
the admiral on the consolidated islands
of Long and Manhattan must remain Tor
ever manipulated. Rear Admiral Samp-
son-or Eowison-will give him the glad
hand New York his breakfast, the COM
bined military, naval and civic organiza-
lions a parade, and then the admiral is to
be quietly shunted up into Vermont, and
the stuff is off, If there are bays to
place upon the heros brow, New YORK
will do the placing; If there are laurel
wreaths with which to crown him, New
York proposes to do the crowning; if there
strewing while the band plays on. No
hoodlum push of Chicago aldermen led
by Bathhouse John and Hinky Dink in
pink shirts and green dress suits shall ap-
proach Admiral Dewey as a committee OF
invitation.
So says Guggenheimer. Hence Chi
Cages wrath. Hence her unavailing
crashing of teeth and whoops for blood.
Says the Atchison Globe: Look at a
child and it's mother will Immediately
take out her handkerchief and go to
polishing it's face" This reminds one that
quite a number of children should be fire.
quently looked at.
President Seth Low, of Columbia coll
lege, is on record as saying that the
peace conference made arbitration not
only possible, but easy. 1t always has
been possible, but never easy, and never
will be.
Ex-Speaker Reed says he believes in
the declaration Of independence, the
principles Of liberty, self government and
the rights Of man. This is decidedly
| rough on the administration.
Since learning that one Of the delegates
to the national Democratic convention is
named Drinkwater, Milwaukee is not
quite so hot-footed after the convention.
toledo" Jones has challenged Judge
Nash and John R. Mclean to a talking
match 1t is not a long shot to wager
that Jones would win hands down.
After accepting Ayers declination to
stay on the political track it is compare
lively easy to acquiesce in Gov. Pingree's
determination to retire.
The Chicago Inter Ocean heads an ar
ticle, Funds Are Scarce" Well, Mark
Hanna will call around your way In the
! jocund spring time.
Says the Philadelphia Press: This
ridiculous yarn about an extra session Of
congress dies hard" What Is there
ridiculous about 1t?
Some one is going to give that cham
pion pug, Jeffries, an awful jolt one Of
these days, and not so very distant in
| the future, either.
No wonder England Is hot. She was
compelled to naturalize Willie Waldorf
Astor, and now the Beers won't natural
ize Englishmen.
1t will be pretty generally believed
that Messrs. Barker and Donnelly will
not spend one-half as much money as
Mark Hanna.
Ian Maclaren said that the Americans
were mercenary, came over to this coun-
try and discovered that it was con-
| tagious.
A bust of ex-Speaker Reed is being
executed in bronze for the Maine legis-
lature What's the matter with brass.
The latest report Is that Dreyfus Is
coming to this country to lecture on
"How They Threw 1t Into Me-"
If Gen. Otis keeps on making blunders
his return home will be hailed with
almost as loud acclaim as Dewey's.
The war between Chicago and President
Guggenheimer has about reached the
| protocol stage.
Every time mention is made Of Gov
Roosevelt one is reminded of the word
| strenuous.
Mark Twain is not afraid Of Grover
Cleveland. He Is going to live in
! Princeton.
Mexico will give President Diaz s1OO tOo