The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1899-11-19
THE MODERN POETS GUIDE.

| Many poets think that Just because theii
manuscripts are returned by heartless anc
unfeeling editors they have been made tht
victims of partially or have been discrlm
mated against for some occult reason. THIS
is all wrong, and it Is my purpose to show
these misguided singers Just what the trouble
| is and how to remedy the matter
| Before proceeding to minutiae there are a
few rules that may as we'll be laid down toI
the use of the modern poet. They follow:
| l. Always be ambiguous.
O. Use blank verse unless dealing with a
| 1O-cent magazine.
8. Have at least one unpronounceable word
in every few lines.
A. Try to create the impression among the
ignorant that you are doing fine writin''
s. Never be guilty of consistency
Now we can proceed. BY carefully follow
ing the above rules the veriest tyro can sue
coed We will suppose that at some time the
student might have written the following or
something akin to it:
She stood on the brow of a noble hill,
And her blue eyes filled with tears,
Her bosom heaved, for she felt thrill,
Like a feeling OF bygone years.
The above is sufficient to form the basis OF
a volume of modern poems, but for present
purposes it is only necessary TO expand 1t a
little. With the use of dictionary and a
book of synonyms we can go ahead
For instance. the first line Of the coupie'
can be made to read:
Quaint solitude, Above. the RADIANT snesn
Begot wild grandeur unexplored
Adown, where mortal tread the lily had not
known
But hearhed TO Loves old fiuvial babbllns'
she stood. And from the brown proved eras
A mocking cry had gone forever
LET mo exclalm 1t Is not necessary to sling
that mocking cry in from a poettcal point
of view. but from a business standpoint 1t
is Indispensable couple of hooking cries
work wonders with an editor a nocAins
ory has the same effect on poem as graf
ing laugh has on society novel; no SANG
editor will refuse society novel Wnere tne
villain has grating laugh and careiessS
dashes the ashes from his cigarette sevetai
times A page But further remarks on thal
subject are useless. word 10 the wise Is
often unappreciated.
Now we have compiled with all the rules
and have reached her blue eyes. Common
sense viii tell the modern poet not to inter-
iect hints as to her squirting or have cinaer
in her eye. Just keep pegglng away at lnc
rules and you'll be all right. To continue
From meath the hedcraceous cliff,
Ingenious e'er in its trotility,
Far upward from tne.r carysalitic rest
Two pearls. each layed with mother-drop
OF brine, sprang. and cured the FESTIVE
thought
That SO despoiled their brilliancy.
In other words, she Was crying. But the
reader would never know it, The reader Is
supposed to know It, He is supposed to hing
back his head, and with "latelysandbag6ed
expression, murmur: "Sub-ll-i-me"
And now for the heaying part and the final
line. Proceed In this bizarre style;
Just as the mighty deep,
With quiv'rin forked tongue.
Doth howl approaching tempests fury
So from kindred passion swelling
Heayes the inland lake.
With verdant hills and valleys.
Even so the megalophonous sea
Inspires a stirring sympathetic
In her white bosom. and dreams
Once dreamt glide quickly through
Her troubled mind In sweet deiiriuri.
The task is completed ! suppose you VIII
say. Nobody can understand that bosh
Very good. II Is modern poetry.
M