Saint Mary's beacon., 1899-10-19
Written for als Beacoa.)
hrs. BIGBEE'S fRI6ULATIONS

MeDDy, Uncle Ned, you never
heard Of Finnigan's goat. II ever
| you've been ont to Carr's Gross
Roads you must have heard the
critter mentioned; but il you've
never bin this way, why mebby ron
don't know about her. She be-
longs to Mrs. Finnigan, il Of fe-
male sex, end they keep her to give
milk for the Finnigan twins. Be-
fore git through you viii under
stand that she amt ! goat % Be
! spot ago Sarah Jane. she got
her young man. She's been try
ing to fx one so he'd stay "Pst"
for quite awhile-one that would
take her to parties and pay for ice-
cream and sody. She haint seemed
to have much luck that way until
she went to visit her Aunt Pitmau
in Boston, and there she got ac-
quainted with Mr.. Clarence Eustis
Fitz-Jenkins. Land sake When
was Q girl ! never had to look
twice at q feller. had all the
the beaux / could attend when I
agreed to take Abram Bigbee for
better or worser. There were three
strings to my bow at that very iden-
tical time, and some times I've
thought that took the very weak
est one of them all. But law, you
can't begin to see ahead of you as
you can behint you. Ii my behint
eight had been as good as my be-
front sight-I mean to say, that il
my befront sight hadn't been no
better than my behint sight--good
gracious ! Pm all tangled up in my
interlects today. What ! want to
say 10 that if / could have looked
into the future as we'll az can look
into the past, mebby shouldn't
have took Abram Bigbee for better
or worser, and mebby / should.
You can't always tell what you
would have done now.
Sarah Jane was awful tickled to
think that she'd got young man
at last, and she wanted to invite
him right out to spend few days
at our farm. He's q skyropodist
by trade. A skyropodist. as mebby
you know, takes ont corns and cuts
your toe-nails for you at twenty
FIVE cents apiece, and warrants not
to hurt you, and after q week or
two them things that he took out
will come back again jest as pert
and good as new, and then he'll
take them out again on the same
terms. It's a sertain sure way to
make living, Mary Jane says, be-
cause you are always sare of a crop
without regard to weather. Abram
and /, we consented to have him
come to our house, and Sarah Jane
she used up ell the eggs that Abrams
full pedigreed hens laid in three
weeks amaking cake for him. She
turned the house all upside down
and hind part afore, and trimmed
all creation with evergreen and
sparrer grass and spruce boughs.
| guess you never seed such fuss
made over one corn doctor afore.
had to put on my black ally
packer frock and Abram he put on
his new six dollar suit. marked down
from twenty-five dollars, and war
rsnted yard wide, all WOOL, and fast
dye. and custom made. He hated
awfnlly to do it, for Abram had
about as live die a. git OF his old
clothes, but / told him he could
turn up his panterloons when he
milked, and put some old stocking
legs on over his shoes, and one of
my gingham aprons to keep the
front of him clean. Beats every
thing how Q man does hate to shift
his clothes. Sarah Jane she walked
down to the deepot to meet him.
She wanted TO take the old mare
and the shay, but Abram said the
old msre had showed some signs
lately of having one of them balky
spells of hern and he was afraid she
might be took and they wouldn't
git back to the house in time for
supper. That are hoss has some
awful tantrums every time she's
been harnessed ever since that are
affair of Spiggott's, and that makes
me think. Betsy B. aint spoke TO
Spiggott since, and ss for Mrs.
Grimsby, she packed up her kit and
went of to her sisters, aad Spig-
gott is doing his work himself.
Mr. Fitz Jeakins came all right,