davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
NIAGARA FALLS EXCURSIONS
Low Rate Vacation Trips via Peun
sylvunia Ruilroud.

The PENNSYLVANIA Railroad Company has ST.
ccted the following dates for its popular ten
day excursions to Niagara Falls from Philadel
phia. baltimore, and Washington: July -
August 10 and q, September aud 81, and Oct
Ober and 10. An experienced tourist agent
and chap'ron will accompany each excursion.
Excursion tickets, good for return passage on
any regular train exclusive Of limited express
from PhiladrIphin, Baltimore, Washington
and all points on the Delaware Division; gu rs
from Atlantic City: 81 10 from Lancaster: ss.5p
from Altoona and harrisburg, 500 from WILKES
barre s. 10 from Williamsport; and ut proper.
tionate rates from other points. A stop-uv"'
will be lowed Mt Buffalo, Rochester. Canaud.
aiKua, and Watkins within the limit returning.
A special train OF Pullman parlor cars and
day coaches will be run with each excursion
An extra charge will be made for parlor car
seats.
Tickeis for q aide trip to the Thousand Is.
lands (Alexandria Bay will be sold from Ro-
chester In connection with excursions OF July
"a, August ~ and ~, September and 81. good
to return to Rochester or to Canandaigua via
Syracuse within five days mt the rate OF IS 50.
Tickets for side trip To Toronto will be sold
At Niagara rails for sl.00 on july %, August ~
and 20, and September % In connection with
excursion OF September 7, tickets will be sold
to Toronto and return at reduced rates, ne
count Toronto Fair.
For time OF connecting trains and further in
formation apply To nearest ticket agent, or ad-
dress Geo W. BOYD, Assistant General Passeng.
er Agent Broad Street Station, Philadelphia.
7-l3.6t
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
The Story Of . Kiss.

A fascinating actress, whose name
need not be mentioned, being anxious
to assist q certain charity in the prov
inces, offered kiss to be put up at auc-
ton. The bidding was brisk and had
advanced in three leaps from two
guineas to thirty, when without fur
ther parley the round sum Of G 800 was
offered. There being no higher bid.
the kiss was knocked down by the
auctioneer to Q colonel In one Of the
line regiments, who came forward to
meet the blushing young lady. But TO
the surprise Of all present. the colonel
introduced dear little fair-haired boy.
explained that 1t was his grandson's
fifth birthday, and that he had acquired
the kiss a. o birthday gift for him.
Whereupon Miss - took the child in
her arms and discharged her debt with
interest. The charity. local one, in
which the colonel took keen interest,
was the richer by G 800 for the grand
dads generous whim. But Q little bird
Whispered afterward that at the
colonel's dinner party that night he
bad one also ION the strict Q. T."-Lon-
Hon Mail,
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
New Fad in sealing Letters.

N0w roO IN DcoAAhB Aetse~
My lady has new fad about her
Iapeterie which this time has nothing
, do with the size or shape Of the en-
Hope or the tint Of the paper. When
be seals her letters now the up-to-
hte girl no longer puts the seal in the
Pex u the triangle made by the flap
the envelope, but carefully sets It
Sout two inches to the left as the en-
Hope lies addressed side down on her
titing table. Just what the reason
4 this Is or what the origin Of It is
ne Of the fair ones who are following
fad seems to be exactly sure. "It's
4 novel, though" one Of them ex-
Hined, "and the seal really looks much
dre artistic of to one side than plant
efight In the center" Chicago Times
ftsld.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
DELIGHTFUL VACATION TRIP.
Tour to the North via Pennsylvania
RNtlrOusl.

visiting Nlgara Falls. Toronto, Thousand Is.
lands. quebec. Montreal. Au Sable Chasm. Lake
Chainplain and Lake George. SaraiO Oga and the
Highlands OF the Hudson. Leave Philadelphia
by special train August ~. The tour VIII De In
charge OF one OF the company's experienced
tourist agents, and q chaperOn. having especial
charge OF unescorted ladies'. will also accom-.
pany the party.
The rate OF 500 from New York, Brooklyn
Newark. Trenton, Philadelphia, Harris burg
baltimore, and washington covers railway and
boat fare for the sntiro round trip. parl0rcar
transfer charges, and carriage hire.
For detailed itinerary, tickets. or any add.
tional Information, address Tourist AGENT
Pennsylvania RailrSad Company 1876 Broad.
way. New York; s6O Fulton street, Brooklyn,
1889 Broad street, Newark. N. j.; or Geo. W
Boyd. Assistant General Passenger Agent
Broad Street station. Philadelphia. s.3.2t.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
a Diamond for a Dollar.
A Limited Special Offer Which Will
Last for Ten Days Only.

worldwide reputation. IL 10 almost impossible
TO distinguish them from genuine diamonds
costing hundreds tot dollars each. They are
worn by the best people. We will forward a
GENUINE BARRIos DIAMOND mounted In n heavy
ring. pin or stud TO any address upon receipt OF
price. $l.0O each. Earrings, screws or drops.
81 per pair. Ring settings are made OF one CON
tinuous piece Of thick. shelled gold, and are
warranted not TO tarnish. Special combination
offer for ten days only! Ring and stud sent to
any address upon receipt OF 81 so. In ordering
ring give ring measurement mt by using piece Of
string also full particulars. Address plainly,
THE BARSlOS DIAMOND Co.,
llSl-lls3 broadway.
6l02t New York.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
A $4,000 Bicycle Given
AWAY Daily.

The publishers of THE NEW YORK
STAR, the handsomely illustrated
Sunday ayDewspaper, are giving HIGH
GRADE BICYCLE each day for the
largest list OF words made by using
the letters contained in
.'T-H-E NEW YORK STAR
no more times in any one word than
It ia found in The New York star
Webster's Dictionary TO be considered
az authority. Two GOOD WATCHES
(first class time keepers) will be given
daily for second and third best lists,
and many other valuable rewards. in
Guiding Dinner Sets, Tea Sets, China,
Sterling S'lverware, etc, etc, I'm or
der Of merit. This educational con.
test is being given to advertise and
introduce this successful weekly into
new homes. and all prizes will be
awarded promptly and without parti-
atty. Twelve 2-cent stamps must be
inclosed for thirteen weeks trial sub.
scription with full particulars and
test "Opens and awards commence,
Monday, June Goth, and closes Mon
day, August 81, 1899. Your list can
reach us any day between these dates
and will receive the award to which
it may be entitled for that day, and
your name will he printed in the fol-
lowing issue of THE NEW YORK STAR.
Only one list can be entered by the
same person. Prizes are on exhibition
at The STARS business offices. Per-
sons securing bicycles may have choice
of Ladies', Gentlemen's or Juveniles
1899 model, color or size desired. Call
or address Dept. "E," THE New YORK
STAR. 237 W. S0th Street, New York
City. 7-l3 O.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10

"Fu.ny how mothers will believe thar
their own children are so much better
than nNhudy eise's children" said n
North Fourth street woman to her
High street fri,ud. Il know it," re-
piled thr .atter. ~ all children were
like NY little Georgie i, would not be
10 s,rarue. ."-hurorE News.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10

First Hunter-Do you take notice Of
that sign that reads: mo hunting in
this LOTT"
Second Hunter-Yes; and think It
a very truthful one. was hunting all
through It this morning and didn't see
one bird.-Judge.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10

Thsre," said the landlady, - she
handed the kicking boarder . rather
slender piece Of real porterhouse, II
guess you can't say anything about
that steak being fit TO sole shoes with. I"
NO" said the boarder, wrapping the
meat around his fork, II should guess
II was more fit for shoestrings."-ln-
dianapolis Journal.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
SCOTS
EMULSION

1t is very palatable and easily
digested. If you will take plenty
of fresh air, and exercise, and
SC0TT'S EMULSION steadily,
there Is very little doubt about
your recovery.
There are hypophosphites in it
they give strength and tone up the
nervous system while the cod-liver
Gil feeds and nourishes.
SOC. and $I.oo, all druggists.
SCOTT x BOVINE, Chemists, New York.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
Saved by Her IIus u n n IL.

Yeast-My wife spends money as fast
us she gets il.
Crimsonbeak-liut she's not eXtrava-
CANT.
"Not eXtravagunt"
"No; she doesn't get money fast
enough TO be extravagant'-Ionhers
Statesman.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
An ImpOssibility.

Mrs. McLubberty (who has just
finished reading q story OF suffering
and privation)-Murty. how wud yez
loike to be lost in the desert?
McLubberty - Hob! Begorra, Oh
hov me name an address plainly writ
ten down ON o car-r-rd in me pocket!
-Harper's Round Table.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
II Was Declined.

I'VE shall have to decline tho
Geezers' invitation to their card par
IT," wheezed Mrs. Gazzam.
That's odd" replied Mr.. Gazzam.
you enjoy playing so thoroughly"
"But shouldn't enjoy It tomorrow
night, for I'm so hoarse / can't speak
above whisper" Free Press.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
Trninin r.

THAT man you have put me up
against has an advantage that didn't
know about" said the pugilist, discon-
tentedly.
"What's that~ asked the manager.
"He used to belong to debating 90
ciety."-Washington Star.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
Not to he Envied.

my wife never has said Cross word
to me in all the time we have been mar
ried." he announced proudly.
"Is that so?" returned his companion
commiseratingly. what spiritless
creature she must be!"-Chicago Post.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
StyUiau Amenities.

Nero-What do you think was the
real reason that | iiddled while Rome
was burning?
Queen of Sheba-To add to the tor
ture of the populace. l suppose.-N. Y.
World
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
His lIappicst Eour.

He--Do you remember the night |
proposed to you?
She-Yes. dear.
I'VE sat for one hour. and you never
opened your mouth.
"les. | remember. dear"
"Beieve me. that was the happies,
hour of my life. ANSWERS.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
once Chat.

"It is said that full-grown elephant
can carry load of two tones"
Eyes, and even then he probably
wouldn't wobble as much as you did
under tho load you carried when you
started for home last night"-Chioago
Daily News.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
Chance for study.

fe had been studing the lines Of her
hid for several minutes.
I'm deeply interested in palmistry,"
A&aid at last. ~
Psrhsps you would nks 70 havs .
~ for practice" she suggestsd.
st y how h. secursd hsss-Chb
~ koser "a s's ~ ie ,ta..r
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10

Although athletic girls are stronS.
And run and Jump and row.
A girl who nsver trained at an
Can draw q six-foot beau.
-IudRa
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
Worst Case ON RECORD.

Worst Case ON HecOFd.
Scotty-I think Dotty Is the most abb
sent-minded man in the world.
Notty-Yes. The other day he dis
charged his wife and kissed the nurse
girL-Town Topics.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
How He Takes II

"How does your father like 'he idea
Of taking you oil to Paris next yearf"
Every night he prays for another
French revolution" - Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
A Reelection on the Sex.

A woman was recently arrested In
Ireland for manufacturing Illicit
whisky. This is the first recorded In.
stance of woman keeping still.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
A Case of Duu!,t.

Doctor-.lnmes. did that lady in the
waiting-room come In her own coach or
u trolley car?
Servant-Trol!ey car, sir!
Doctor-Thunks! couldn't tell
from her dress whether to prescribe
three months ut New, rt or sulphur
and olasses!-Puck.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
Some other Girl,

Chappie-The fortune teller said !
was to marry soon! What do you think
Of that?
Miss Peachly-You can't prove It by
me!--Puck.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
Not Willing TO Divide.

Dr.. squills-Are you going to call q
consultation?
DR.. Pills-I think not. don't believe
the patient has any more money than I
need myself.-N. Y. Journal.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10

TanQue-I can drink or let II alone,
Just as I please.
Friend-How do you know9 Have
you ever tried to let II alone?-St. Louis
Republic
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10

"Ies." said the man at the desk; (;
"whn, qualifications"
"Ecen an actor three years"-ion.
kers Statesman.
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
Wise In His Day.

nehemiah, compare the adjective
cold" said a schoolmaster to his head
boy.
positive cold. compative cough. SUI
perlative cof}in," triumphantly re-
sponded hemiah.-Tit-Bits
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10

The Men who Give Advice.
/, "all the worlds a stage"
And who can doubt 1t any,
You'll certainly agree
The prompters are too many.
Puck
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10
An Opruius for MIR. Ham.

Are you the mar who advertised for
II track waihrr?" lie asked, as he put
The Middleburgh post. [volume] (Middleburgh, Snyder Co., Pa.) 1883-1916, 1899-08-10

Nv. The New Life.-Vs.0 0, 10, II. We.
prophecy unto the wind:" The same
word is used for wind, and breath, and
spirit, as in the New Testament.
"Come from the four winds," "a SYM
Dol Of the universal nfe-giving Spirit
of God."-Cambridge Bible. v. 10.
'They lived an exceeding great
army" The nation, on Its return, was
inspired with new life. Ezra's time
was one Of great religious and literary
activity. The Bible then became O new
book. And though the nation declined.
yet In Christ there was q new graft in
the old stock, SO that now the kingdom
of God, which the returned exiles repre-
sented, has indeed already become IAN
exceeding great army" the greatest
kingdom now on the earth.
PRACTICAL
Only Gods Spirit, imparting new life,
can save the sinner from death. Every
conversion II q miracle Of creation, q
miracle Of resurrection from the dead.
What II true Of the individual Is true
Of the church. A dead church needs
prophet like Ezekiel, or Paul, or
Luther, or Wesley, to prophesy to the
dry bones that they may live through
the Spirit of God.
~Coms from the four winds:" The
influences that redeem men come from
the universal Father, from His Iowa, His
Justice, His holiness, His wisdom, His
poWer. His truth.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-04-28
Nelson and the SDaniards,

There is an amusing anecdote about
that gruff sea dog, Nelson. Two Span
ish captains came on board, with a re-
quest to be allowed to see 'the greatest
eaman in the world" Nelson grum-
bled. but gave in and went on deck,
forgetting that ''at that moment his
legs were bound up at the knees and
ankles with pieces of brown paper soak
ed in vinegar and tied on with red
tape.
This had been done to allay the irri-
tation arising from mosquito bites.
Quite forgetting his attire and the ex-
~traordinary appearance which it pre-
sented. Lord Nelson went on deck and
conducted the interview with the Span
ish captains with such perfect courtesy
that his singular appearance was quite
obliterated by the charm Of his manner.
and the Spaniards left the ship with
their high opinion of him thoroughly
confirmed.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-04-28
Sections In New York.

''Sexton and Undertaken" is the sign
usually found affixed to or near the
New York churches, but it does not
mean that the sexton actually conducts
an undertaker's establishment. He
merely contracts for the funerals Of the
members of the congregation and sub
let's the work to what are known as
wholesale undertakers. who attend to
this class of work exclusively.
A 30 per cent commission is the sex.
toms share of the proceeds, and, taking
into consideration the large member
ship of some of the New York churches
and the elaborate funerals that take
place almost daily, it can readily be
seen that to be a sexton is an honorable
calling-for it is a business that brings
in the coin. The profits of a sexton in
one of the large down town churches are
estimated at $40, 900 annually from his
funeral business alone. Weddings are
not so profitable, but they do fairly we'll
and are cheerful. He collects the pew
rents and takes his habitual commits
sion: he is paid for opening the church
and for closing it and a few other
things that keep him from starvation.
But there is one thing he must look
sharp after. and that is his collections.
1t is a peculiar fact, but people will
stand off a funeral bill as long and as
callously as any her.-Exchange.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-04-28

The English royal marriage act is one
Of the time honored absurdities which
survive in spite of common sense and
enlightened public opinion. BY it the
matrimonial choice Of the English
princes is practically restricted to the
swarms of 1.-THE German hive and the
proverbially handsome English women
are forbidden. The legal prohibition
was enacted in 1879 at the persistent
command Of George III, he ''being
thereunto melted" first, by the mar
riage in 1915 Of his brother, the Duke
of Gloster. to the Countess Waldegrave
Maria Walpole). and. second, by the
taking to wife by a young brother, the
Duke Of Cumberland, in 1771, Of the
widow Of Colonel Christopher Horton.
The first provision Of the act forbids
to the descendants Of George II matri-
mony without the consent Of the crown
under the great seal. necessary excep-
ton being made to cover the marriages
Of princesses abroad. The second pro-
vision has been the especial mark Of
raillery. 1t enables marriage by one
above the age Of rs against the will Of
the crown. under certain conditions.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-04-28

pressed on his face. Re ..ev out n y>.i
and cried out. SOW, ow. ma rotten
tooth p and could not be induced to eat
any more.
At another Scottish affair Of the kind
a good old farmer was seated next to
the hostess. She served him a bit Of
savory omelet, which seemed to cause
the old mar deep disappointment. His
idea of an o>nc!et had always been a
dessert with sugar, or fruit or jams,
and after tasting the sample before him
he turned to the hostess ana said.
"Weel. ma lady, l Gamma compliment
you on your puddin','
The late Duke of Buccleuch told Il
story Of a tenant at IN CT the farmers
dinners on his estates who was asked
by the duchess if he would take some
rhubarb, ii dish she was fond of. The
farmer was surprised, but answered
politely, ''I'm muckle obleeged to your
grace. but l dinna' need it,"
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-04-28
A CQuple of Rat Stories.

George Purcell tells some stories
about mining coal that are interesting.
Pur ,ell says a rat. when caught in a
trap, will mt off a limb to escape. He
n day caught a rat with a black.
smiths pinchers. He had only time to
fix the pinchers on the rats tail. but
with sufficient grip to hold the rat for
a time. He intended taking the rat to
a feed box in the barn. where it's fight
ing qualities could be tested by a ter
rier. The rat. hanging by it's tail, turned
around to free itself from the pinchers.
Finding that the pinchers were harder
than its teeth. it turned its attention to
it's own tail. 1t cut with it's teeth a
ring around the tail and then made a
Jump. The skin ,,eeled off the tail, leav-
ing the tail covering in the grip of
Purcell and the pinchers. 1t is needless
to say that the rat escaped.
Miners believe that rats leave a fall
ing mine. M. ". Kerrigan met a horde
of rats one day when he was entering
a mine. He attempted to kill them
with a stick. but as fast as he knocked
one out another took his place. He was
accompanied by a Cog, and the dog was
so badly bitten by the rats that he
sou ht shelter behind Kerrigan. Seeing
that the dog was badly injured by the
attack of the rats, Kerrigan took him
outside the mine to have his injuries
attended to. Kercigan then returned to
the workings, but was surprised to find
that the entry in which he had met the
rats had fallen in during his absence
P%ittsburg News.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-04-28
TIE SAD q IT TOLD.
Cuxzi's First Glnnce In n Looking
Glass In Fifteen Years.

HlHSb IN HI1tCeu ears
Shortly after Cuzzi's rescue by Gen.
eral Kitchener. when the latter entered
Omuuriian. the long suffering man said
During my Is years Imprisonment
| never saw a mirror. and gradually all
interest in NY personal appearance
faded completely away When it be.
came sur that an expedition was on
its way to Omdurman, l began to live
again When at last the cannon began
to thunder and the wild cries of the
battle penetrated the city. l laid my
sword ready. determined. should this
last hope be destroyed. to put an end
to my life When finally the noise Of
the cannon ceased and the victor Kitch,
ener stood before me. congratulating
me on my release. | thought I should
sutfocate with emotion
1.-The next day | made my toilet in
an officers tent and held in my hand
the first looking glass | had seen for 10
years, | looked curiously at my relec-
ton in it and started back l had gone
out into the world a young, active
strong man. and the image which now
stared at me was that Of a sick. hollow
eyed. wrinkled. broken man. Never did
all that I had suffered enter my mind
with such strength as at this moment,
and l wept. wept like a child-the first
tears in Is years!
1.-The day after I was made a prisoner
l saw my wife die, but my grief was
too great for the relief of tears. Ny
child was torn from me and died of
starvation far away. and I could not
weep. l suffered d]eprivations and i'll
treatment without a sign of weakness.
but now. before this small looking
glass, l was overwhelmed. The pain OF
all that l had lost seemed concentrated
in the grief stricken features reflected
in the mirror. At n glance I saw the
story Of my s~ufferings."