New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-03-11
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

The Rev Mr. Butler OF All Saints Church. Har-
low, England was recently the victim OF an en-
thusiastic woman who saluted him III the presence
OF his congregation. He had her summoned LOT
assault and to the Court she explained that she
was n married woman and a member or the con-
grooation The rector's sermon moved her great
IL and when # had been concluded she approached
him and throwing her arms around him. I'M
planted a vigorous kiss upon his nose. Inc Oh
fondor had no defence to offer except that she
loved the dear clergy; that the sermon ola her
world Of good and she felt that she ought to show
her appreciation Of it in the only way possible
when your parents first refused me your han r,s
was so wretched that wanted to throw mysei
out OF the window.
And why didn't you?' -
at was 90 highw-Lustige Batter.
An English clergyman. being pestered with offers
from usurers to advance him sums Of money,
had the curiosity answer one by asking on what
terms he would loan him 600. BY return OF
most there arrived letter asking particulars OF
his rent life insurance and other intimate matters
To this he made no reply. Then followed a note
asking him to call in London on a certain day. to
which he sent answer that he did not intend 10
call and that the money-lender need not troupe
himself further In the matter. But the ahaIr was
not at an end. Two days later a registered letter
arrived inclosing $3.50 in notes. and form TO be
filed up, promising to pay 1900 in three months.
The clergyman then put the money the form and
the correspondence in the hands Of his solicitor,
who. after three weeks delay. returned the notes
10 the usurors and guinea out Of them for his
costs.
Diplomacy-Portly Dowager-I've called sir, to
learn what the future has in store for me .
Eminent Fortune-teller examining pdlm)-Ah,
madam the lines of fate run so smoothly in this
compound Of wonderful powers to bring them out
matra din the end of a towel in soapsuds and
bring It here.-(Chicago Tribune
Some women recently visited Pixies Peak I'VE
had for guide says one Of them. "A somewhat
unlnteligent young man. Every few minutes h
stood up and shouted the names OF certain powders
ard streams When nearly ut the top he called
out: ON the right Is the Lions Mouth" Why is
IT called the Lions Mouth? asked a sceptical
woman who had pestered him with why's all the
way. 'Aw. I dunno said the ad. tired OF being
asked for information. = was told TO holler these
names I dunno why nothin'. It's my job to
holor. and so hoer.
Miss Upton-Ma. Miss Eighty and Mr.. saphead
are to be married to-day Shall take some rice
along to throw after them? aoar vat, until they
have run through what little money they have and
then give it TO them.-(What To Eat.
on recent Sunday in St. Clements Church,
Belfast a man who had evidently gone there 10
protest against rItualism said during the repeating
OF the Apostles Greed. in loud voice TO his neigh
Dor in the same seat: Dye hear that Born Of
the Virgin Mary; there's Popery for you.
II shall sell my life dearly Kissed Beatrice the
woman horse thief drawing pistol.
Lucille. the woman detective, laughed mockngly
I'm the face Of her quarry.
Then | shall not take It she replied. with n
sneer. although am no bargain hend myse I,
As FOR the other. she WINGED under the implied
taunt. yet stood her ground-tDetron Journal
The official statistics for Japan, exclusive
OF Formosa have just been published. showing
total population exceeding forty-three millions.
Tha. OF Toxic is nearly two millions and two
other cities. Kobe and Osaka. each exceed
million The increase since 1896 is about half
million. There S65 900 marriages in the same
period, and $4,000 divorces.
Customer-What Is the price OF this calico?
Salesman-SiXteen cents a yard.
CustOmer-SiXtecn cents I'll give you htteen
Salesman-You misunderstood me. said SIX
cents not sixteen. - -
you five Boston Transcript
THE Indianapolis Journal reports that new
Democratic daily is likely soon to be started In
indianapolis. John II. Mclean the proprietor or
The Cincinnati Enquirer. says that he viii either
purchase or establish such a paper.
Uncle Reuben was visiting Network tor the
first time. What do you think OF ~ asked ms
city nephew. WAL replied the old man, ITS
a mighty big place, but Il don't seem citihed
haint seen telegraph pole In the hull town
''fhe wires are underground" Underground
"Yes-ln conduits" ''Condultsl what's them
ncie HeuP %ns WI" bs
powerful deep to take In them tall poles. '-(rele-
graph Age