The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-05-08
TOWN GOSSIP.

For the sake of a name Ole Christen-
sen will do, but that is not the one he Is
known by. He came down from Cache
county the other day, it being his sec
ond trip TO the city. As he was walking
up the street, the Salvation Army Were
holding the open-air meeting in front of
the White House. The drum and the
singing attracted his attention, and he
elbowed his way through the crowd until
he stood at the out edge of the curb. The
captain began to speak. and as Ole IS
six feet two in his stockings, she pointed
directly at him. In the course of her re-
marks she gave a very pressing invitation
for her hearers to come and work for
Jesus. This was too much for Ole and
he interrupted her:
No ] tank you, mum; / got Soot
yob in Cacha Junction.
A group of horsemen were out in front
of the office of the Mccoy livery stable
yesterday, talking of the speed of various
animals. Mccoy had told a story of rid
ing a running horse who for a quarter
would outrun a cyclone, when Billy
We'll boys, the fastest thing / ever
seed was greyhound. He was one of
those long. lanky critters that You could
put your hands around afore the hind
legs and with legs like whipcordS. Well,
they We're coursin the brute for race
agin time and had got him down fine.
looks live rabbit, that goes on a wire
and is run by electricity. Well. they
brought that dog out and set him on the
wooden rabbit"
Here Billy paused.
Did he rum" some one asked.
81 reckon he did" Billy answered.
THAT was the longest dog / ever seed.
1t was just one streak of dog fer 100
And the old man hitched up his panta-
looms and made for the stables.
A prominent citizen was telling a group
Il. Il. 1.Cf ieyhf Of N Y
perience he had late Saturday night when
he was returning home on East Third
South. He had nearly reached home
when his attention was attracted by the
noise of some heavy object falling in a
house nearby, which ended by a sound
resembling the smashing of glass He
paused for a moment and was astonished
to see a man emerge from the nail door
and run into the shadow of the Shrubbery-
The gentleman stood for minute or
two, wondering what it all meant. when
he saw the man cautiously approach the
front door and attempt to climb the stair.
He had not gone far before piece of
furniture that resembled a washstand
came crashing down the steps The man
was 700 quick for it, however, and at a
bound had reached the door. This time
he sought shelter near the fence, where
he held himself while he laughed softly.
The gentleman was surprised IN nfuins
that ii was the owner of the house him.
self. and demanded an explanation
He laughed for time, so that ne couid
not speak, but between his nts OF merrl-
ment managed to say:
You see, it's like this: promised
nv wife to come home early and take
care of the baby while she came down
town to the Spider and the Fly. You
know how it is. 1 met crowd of the
bovs and forgot all about it. Pom my
honor. l never thought of it until got
home and attempted to go up stairs to
bed. But she was laying for me and
tumbled the Saratoga trunk down on me
l Just escaped by the skin of my teeth;
Next came the baby's crib and then the
dresser i thought she was through, but
she flung the chairs at me and then the
Washstand But she's nearly at the end
now. She's flung everything down stairs
but the bedstead and the baby, and when
these come l have her. You Just want
a minute and see,
He approached the door as before and
got part way up stairs when some new
article of furniture came tumbling dowTi
stairs. and the husband shot out in. the
grounds like a streak of lightning As
the gentleman resumed his journey: the
husband was standing in the shade hold
ing himself and laughing.