Evening capital. (Annapolis, Md.) 1884-1910, 1899-08-15
JOKE MANUFACTURE.
AN ARTlFlcER GIVES AWAY A FEW
SECRETS or HIS CRAFT.

to Dress Their Antiques-Seryed Up
With Sauce Southern, Northern,
Eastern or Western.
II have come to regard an idea as
purely a matter OF merchandise, said a
local newspaper man, who augments
his salary by supplying pearls Of
thought to the Northern periodicals.
When invent joke, for instance. |
/. Immediately consider the garb in
which it will bring the best price, and
you would be surprised at the extent
of nay literary costume shop. To illus
trate the point / had a small inspira-
tion this morning that | have not yet
decided how 10 use. The simplest form
would be bit of dialogue TO accom-
pany a picture in one OF the comic
weeklies, in which case 1t would run
about like this
"'Old Moneybags (seyerely)-I trust.
sir, that you haven't contracted any
new debts.
Young Moneybags with engaging
frankness) oh. no sir; but have sue
ceeded in expanding a number of old
ones
Il would label this Expansion Policy
Up to Date, and, if accepted, | would
receive check for the munificent sum
of ST."
but / have a good paper on my
STAFF continued the Industrious young
man, that is fond of little anecdotes of
the brand once popular in Harper's
Drawer, and is essentially partial to a
southern flavor. III l send my jokelet
there l shall dress it about as fol-
lows:-
lone of the small tenants on the
plantation owned. by Colonel L. was a
good natured, shiftless old negro, who
answered to the name of Nose. AL
though Nose had an excellent piece OF
land that was cultivated with fair sue
cess by his numerous progeny, he was
always hopelessly entangled in debt,
and the Colonel took frequent occa-
sion to lecture him on his IMPROVE
dence. One day the old darky hobbled
past the manor house, sunk, appar-
emily, in the deepest detection. Hell
10. Nose" called the Colonel from the
porch. What are you looking so glum
about?" Use nightly stressed in
mind, Kurnel," replied the tenant,
mournfully. We'll, l suppose you've
been contracting a lot of new debts"
said the planter. mo, sah! replied
Nose, earnestly. mo, Kurnel; there
amt been no new debts tracted. but
theys been er po'ful 'spansion of SOM
mer tn ole ones.
Now that's an innocent little anec-
dote. not calculated to bring blush
to the cheek of any reader and illus
trating what our Northern friends re-
gard as the native wit of the colored
brother. Such jeux d'esprit sell at
three for So.
Il might continue these lightning
changes indefinitely" the speaker went
on, but l think I've covered my point.
However, if | was running series OF
dialect or character sketches | wouldn't
use such a joke separately at all, but
would store ii away to work into the
general drift of the text. Merely as an
illustration, suppose | was the inventor
of Mr.. Doolev, which | Wish to the
Lord | was, I'd start off about like
this:-
They Sc no denyin' Hinnessy, that
tn imper-rayel policy has taken fur'rm
hould on tn imagination of tn toilin'
masses. said Mr.. Dooley. They're like
tn lad on tn farm, pinin to go to tn
city to acquire experience an goald
bricks. At prisenJ iverythings fer tx
pansion. l was at Hogan's last night.
an young Tim, We know he's wild
divvle, struck tn ould man fer fifty.
What fur" says Hogan, AN is it
new debts we've been contractin'?"
says he. mo, father says Tim, its
ould vans" says he. I've been ixpand-
in" says he. IT'S no wonder, Hin
messy, that
But you see how it is. With lit
tie care and ingenuity l can serve up
my diminutive idea in almost as many
different forms as Oscar at the Wal
dorf-Astoria can serve eggs. which l
believe is 916. Sometimes l start to
indite a two line text for picture and
expand the theme into a 5000 word
storiette. It's one of the tricks Of the
trade, me boy, without which | should
be obliged to take my meals at con-
siderably cheaper hashery. New Or
leans Times-Democrat.