Arizona republican., 1899-10-12

mintion who we suspect, but he's a canal Jew in tn artillery, an his
 names Cap Dhreyfuss,' he says. It's
 not aisy,' I says, but if tn honor iv
 tn ar-rmy's at stake. I'll thry to fix
 tn raysponsibility,' I says. An I wint
 to wurruk. I discovered in tn first
 place that all sentences begun with capitals, an they was a peryod at tn
 end iv each. This aroused me suspi- cions. Clearly this letther was written
 be a Jew. Here I paused, fir I had no samples iv the caps writin' to com
 pare with it. So I wrote wan mesilf. They was much tn same. Sure says
 I. tn Caps guilty. I says. But how
 did he do it? I thried a number iv eX- perimints I first laid down over tn letther a piece of common tissue paper. Tn writin' was perfectly plain through this. Thin I threw it on a screen eigh- teen hands high. Thin I threw it off. Thin I set it to music, an played it on a flute. Thin I cooked it over slow fire an left it in a cool, airy place to dhry. In an instant it flashed over me how tn forgery was done. Tn Cap. first gave it to his little boy to write. Thin he had his wife copy it in irnita- tion iv Macchew Dhreyfuss' handwrit in. Thin Macchew wrote it in imita- ton iv Estherhazy. Thin tn Cap. had it put on a typewriter an r-run through a wringer. Thin he laid it transverse1y acrost a piece iv wall pa per an wheriver tn key wurrud sponge cake appeared he was thereby able f'r to make a sympathic lesion acquirin' all tn characteristics iv tn race an a dam sight more.''
 ''I follow ye like a horse afther a hay wagon" says tn prisidint, "hungrily, but unsatisfacthrly. Ye do not prove that tn throubIe was simotic, mong ex- pert"
 "Parfictly,'' says Moosoo Bertillon. ''I will have me assistants put up a screen an on this I will projoose ividince---''
 ''Go away" says tn prisidint Gall Col. Frystalter. Mong colonel ye thraitor, describe tn conversation ye had with Col. Schneider, tn honorable but lyin' spy. or confidential envoy iv tn vin'rable impror iv Austhrich, may tn divole fly away with him. But, mind ye, ye must mintion no names"
 'I know no man more honest" says tn witness.
 Thin your acquaintance is limited to ye'ersilf,' says Gin'ral Merceer.
 ''COl. Schneider" says tn witness, ''th' Austhrich-whom I will designate, f'r fear iv internaytional entangle- hints, merely as Col. Schneider-says to me, he says: Tn letther pretindin' to be firm me is a forgery. How's | that?' says I. Didn't ye write an sign | it?' 1 says. I did, says he. But some 1 wan else sint it to tn pa-apers.
 Thin 'tis clearly forgery" says tn | prisidint.
 T wish to ask this witness wan qucs- | ion" says Ginral Merceer. Was it tn Robin shel or tn day before?"
 My answer to that" says tn wit ness. lis decidedly, who?"
 Thin" says Gin'ral Merceer. ''alI i can say is, this wretch's tistimony is III a pack iv Hes.''
 ''Hol on, there" calls a voice firm h aujience.
 What dye want?'' says tn prisi- lint.
 I'm tn corryspondint iv tn Georgia Daily Lyncher, an I can't understand WurrUd ye say. I've lost me diction- try. Tn people iv tn state iv Georgia nus not be deprived iv their informa- ion about tn scand lous conduct iv his infamious coort''
 .'Thrue," said tn prisidint "Fr- ance'd soon perish if Georgia shud transfer it's interest firm Fr-rinch ports to it's own sacred timples iv jus ice. Perhaps some confrere'H lind tn distinguished gazabo a copy iv his Ol- andorff. Manewhile-''
 ''Mong Prisidint," says a white faced olisman, Judge Crazy de Bare
 'Gr-reat hivins!'' cries tn prisidint Thin tn quarantine at Oporto is d arce.
 An he plunged into tn seethin' mass 7 handwritin' experts an eX-prisidints tn raypublic in tn courtyard below. F. P. Dunne in Chicago Journal -UISANCE EVEN AMONG CRANKS