The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-02-23
SALTWATER, MINNESOTA, THURSDAY FEBRUARY % 1900

ter outside of and to put burglar
alarms in.
Then there is another kind of holes,
which are put in doors. These are
usually small and are called keyholes.
These holes are usually transparent,
fact which was originally discovered
by the hired girl of the queen of Tot.
mes 1, who ruled in Egypt from I'LL to
1899 B. G. This noted discovery is one
of the few made by the ancients which
has never been lost, but faithfully
handed down from generation to gener-
alton of hired girls even unto this day.
1t is still in daily use.
Another valuable hole is that which
occurs fraction of an inch from the
edge of mems clothes, yclept button.
hole. No man can be comfortably and
properly dressed without a proper as.
sortment of this kind of holes about
his clothes. Ladies, on the other hand
worry along with pins placed in the
most unlooked-for places, so that a
person never can be too careful about
handling dress-goods. You never know
at what moment you may be stuck up
like bedbug in an chronological COL
lection. TO come back to our subject.
If the holes in male wearing apparel
should occur on the elbows, it is an
infallible astronomical sign, and it will
be safe to consult tailor in that case
or policeman.
Less fatal is the hole when it occurs
in the socks, because in that case it IS
not apparent, and what we do not see
usually does not worry us-unless it be
a midnight tomcat. But that also is a
threadbare subject. If a man is mar
ried or in prison hole in the sock is of
minor Importance. In the latter case
the State has to furnish the socks and
in the former your dear little wifey
can probably be bribed into washing
the socks in a solution of alum, which
will cause the holes to contract. pat
ent applied for) But if man happens
to be bachelor and an orphan, a hole
in a sock becomes national calamity.
The first thing the bachelor does on
discovering a hole in his sock is to
turn the sock outside in so as to find
out if it is whole on the other side.
But the depressing discovery which he
makes that the hole is larger on the
inside merely causes him to throw the
sock in the corner of the closet and put
on new pair.
Holes often occur in cheese. What
they are put in for can perhaps be as
certained by dropping note to the
dairy commissioner, St. Paul, MINI.
really can see no reason why holes
should be put in cheese as it is always
sold by weight, and the holes do not
weigh anything. The reason why holes
are put in cheese will probably remain
one of those dark, unsolved mysteries
which private detective agencies and
newspaper reporters in vain strive to
solve.
H'SAy PiOPOIly SOloCIu uCUOu
being has several holes in the face.
For instance there is one, varying in
size, located in northerly direction
from the point of the chin. In some
persons this is surrounded by hirsute
vegetation, while in others it is alleged
to be bounded by deposit Of red coral
1t is used to put cigarette in and to
expectorate thrOugh-not in the st.
Paul streetcars, if you please.
A short distance north of the above
mentioned hole are two smaller ones,
which are used to blow out the cigar.
cite smoke through. When we recol.
lect that cigarettes are a modern inven-
ton, the foresight of providence III
providing these holes becomes at once
conspicuous.
A little further northward are two
more holes, commonly known as the
windows of the soul. By looking into
these windows you may discover that
in most cases the soul is not in. L
should, however, strongly advise against
extended investigations on this subject,
because many young men have got
into prison for life by looking too long
into pair of such windows.