The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1899-11-25
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friends.-Life.
Madge-My iances name appears in
"Who's Who" Marjorie-But mine is
in Bradstreet's Town Topics.
PA, what is an illustrated song?"
Goodness, Dickey! ask your Aunt Kit
ty; when she sings she makes faces
Puck.
Dolly-Dick, I've seen the Obelisk in
Central Park. Dick-Huh! That's
nothin'. I've seen 'em feed it!-New
Voice.
Britisher-England expects every
man to do his duty. American-But
will our heiresses hold out?-Town
Topics.
Mrs. McLubberty-Mur do yez be-
lave the dead walk? McLubberty-Av
coorsel Dyes s'pose they can afford to
be roidin' ahl the to.me?-Judge.
my daughters music" sighed the
mother, has been a great expense
"IndeedY returned the guest; "some
neighbor sued you, l supposew-Bos-
ton Traveller.
Uncle Bob-Well, frankie, what are
you going to do this vacatiOn2 frankie
Last year l had mumps and chicken
pox. This year | don't know what I'm
going to do.-Bazar.
Little Clarence-Pa money talks,
doesn't it? Mr.. Callyiers-I guess so,
my son. Little Clarence-Well, then
pa, gimme a penny, SOS l can hear i.
whisper to me a little.-Punch.
"a splendid stroke. Did you follow
the ball, caddieY mo. sir. but | thins
that gentleman with the red coat cal
tell you where it struck. ! see him
feeling of his head. Tit Bits.
Freddie (age six was seated in
BARRIERS chair. well, my little man."
said the barber, "how would you like
your hair cut?" Like fathers. witt
round hole at the op."-Woman's
Journal
Tommy's mother-Why is it. Tommy
that you are always fighting with w .llie
Simpkins? l never heard of you quar-
reling with any of the other boys in
the neighborhood. Tommy-He's tn
on'y one kin lick. "-IndianapOlis State
Journal
Tomwell-It's a wise man who knows
when he is well off. Page-Yes? Tom
well-Jackard told me that everybody
was talking about my new book. Page
And what then? Tomwell-I was
foolish enough to ask what they said
Boston Transcript.
"Of course, Norah. you know that
marriage is a very serious thing" said
Mrs. rockingham to her cook, who had
told her that she was about to set up
housekeeping for herself Yes, m, l
know that" replied Norah; "but it isn't
half so serious as being single. Bazaar.
Judge-Did you steal the hog, or did
you not? Prisoner-No, judge, l did
not; but if yo' kind OBJ thinks Use lynn
ABOUT it, and am gwine to give me six
months for lynn, I'd sooner lie about it
and say did steal de hog, and get two
months for stealth de hog l didn't
stole ?-Puck.
1T would like to know said the gruff
old father to the young man who had
been calling with considerable fire.
Quency, whether you are going to
marry my daughterT' $50 would l."
answered the diffident young man
would you mind asking her:'-Chi-
cago Evening Post.
That's the best l can do for you"
said the theatrical manager. you've
been idle all season, so far; now, will
you stay idle the rest of the season. or
take this small partT 'Pll take it,
said Lowe Comerdy; 'in this case a
small role is better than a whole loaf. "
Catholic Standard and Times.
First American correspondent-I have
Just wired home for ten thousand dol
lars. Second American correspondent
What do you want Of such a sum as
that? First American correspondent
only wanted one hundred dollars, but
was afraid if l asked for that it would
be censored down to one dollar.-Chica-
60 Tribune.
Question: charge more for porter
house steak than you used to. Why is
It? Proprietor of restaurant have
to pay more for it. The price of beef
has gone up. Guest-The steak Is
smaller than 1t used to be, too. Pro
rietor of restaurant-That, of course
is on account of the scarcity of beef
Chicago Tribune.
To-day I am assailed for buying g
seat in the United States Senate quot
the rich man bitterly. Yesterday
was assailed for buying a titled son-in