Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-04-19


All. would you have me say what then
Befel the great big man?
For if you undertake to guess
| hardly think you cam
He turned the corners Of his mouth
Most fearfully awry,
He rubbed his grown-up fist awhile
Across his grown-up eye.
Then burying in his mothers lap
Both pride and manly joy.
He said in just the littlest voice.
4 guess I'm just boy
Catherine Young Glen in the Youth
Companion.
He came towards her, his lips witch
ing, his brow furrowed. One of his
hands was concealed behind him.
She regarded him coldly.
What are you hiding?' she asked:
Z hide it no longer, he cried. 1t is
lath!'
Explain its purpose" she hoarsely
commanded.
Il will he firmly answered. eff you
read the papers You must have noticed
that a st. Louis judge has just handed
down an opinion that husband Is Justl-
fled in thrashing his wife if she sufficient
ly irritates him. You have lrrltated ME
therefore the lath.
She moistened her dry lips with the
tip of her sharp red tongue.
L suppose she slowly said, that the
punishment is the same, no matter how
great the irritation may become:
Il suppose So" he said in 4 hesltatinS
way.
we'll to make it worth the while
And before he could frame Il suitable
reply she had snatched a handful of
his whiskers, thumped his ears, damned
him with rolling pin, prodded him with
q poker and shivered the lath over his UNI
lucky shoulders.
honored head from beneath the dining
room table and Kissed between his white
lips:
If l only had that St Louis judge
under here for about seventeen seconds
I'd twist his idiotic neck oG.-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
''Biff1es is pleasant sort of chap" re-
marked one young man.
Il don't like him. said the other.
Hes too egotistic."
It's merely a matter of impression.
You judged from his manner that he's
egotistic and you feel resentful. He
judges from your manner that you think
he's egotistic, and he resents your self
opinionated fashion of jumping at con-
illusions. It's mistake all round. .
Washington Star.
One of the brethren went to Knoxville
last August. says the Sweetwater Tele-
phone, and fell by the wayside-he got
drunk down there. After several months
the news of his fail reached his rural
home, and he was brought up before the
church.
Brethren" he said. Il admit I got
drunk IN Knoxville last August. but
didn't mean 20 do It. How [ have suf-
fered in my conscience and in my pride,
God alone knows. and | trust He has for
given me. Brethren, | want you to for
give me; | didn't go TO get drunk. | took
and later took bottle of beer on ice, and
then -
Brethren interrupted a good old
brother in the amen corner Il would
be willing to forgive the brother for his
fall if he would make a clean breast of
it and tell the truth. But | move we
turn him out for lying. He has lied to
u.s. Who ever heard of ice in August!'
And they turned him out because he
dared TO say that he had seen ice in Au-
gust.
Here is a death notice from the Delta
Light House: ''Death-Mrs. Margaret
Woods and Miss Amer Johnson, both dis
tinguished citizens of our city, died this
week Mrs. Woods dropped dead instan-
ia and Miss Johnson was only sick a
fortnight Relatives and friends of both,
let us extend you our sympathy in your
loss. There are other deaths that should
be mentioned. but for the lack of names
we could not
The captain had not been long married
when he was ordered into camp, says Il
writer in the Cincinnati Enquirer. The
long-expected call had come at last. To
be sure, the camp was in plain sight of
the CAPTAINS residence, which was some
mitigation of the hardship. but then it
was still a separation; and to tighten this
terrible condition it was arranged that
the bereaved husband and wife should
signal to each other often with handker-
chiefs 1t was on the second day that the
young wife was seated on the porch read
ing.
Tell ne. Iane.'' she said, lis Arthur
still signaling"
yes ma am answered the maid.
''Then keep waving your handkerchief.
I want to finish this novel;
At the same moment III camp an officer
from an adjoining company stepped up to
the captain.
II say. old man." he asked, why do
YOU keep that man out there all day way
ing q handkerchief!
"Oh, it's merely bit of signal-code
practice for him. be answered. Say,
i've got some good stuff inside
A tiresome caller, who had spent the
evening at the home of a friend. young
lady, and had devoted nearly all the
time to a description Of Il trip to Europe,
from which he had recently returned, said
10 her as he rose to go:
II beg pardon for being so talkatiye.
| fear my long story about my adyen-
tnres abroad has entertained you but
lily" ;.
:Or the contrary" she replied politely,
sit Las entertained me quite Welly. =
Youths Companion.
Some of the French cures, or parish
clergymen, are in the habit of giving
very frank advice to those who come to
be married, says a writer in the Chris
tan Globe One of these clerics thus adj
dressed the bride and bridegroom: 1T
is from the bottom Of my heart Joseph,
that I congratulate you upon the great