davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
Taktne All Due Prec.ution,

At ball given in a small country town in Ireland, for which the tickets were not transferable, the inscription on the tickets ran as follows: Admit this gentleman to ball In assembly
 room; tickets. 2s. 6d. each! No gentle man admitted unless he come himself.' ..
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22

American bids on the Manchurian Railroad were way below all others, and Russia closed with the offer. It was a case of business is business which swung the door wide open.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22

New York has recently made her first green goods conviction in fifteen years. The reason for this laxity on the part of justice is doubtless found in the fact that no one ever has any sympathy with the green goods mans victim, who confesses himself a rascal when he en- ters into negotiations to purchase coun- terfeit money to pass on bis neighbors, and richly deserves what be gets.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22

The first practical effort on a large scale in scientific forestry is about tG be made in the Saranac Lake region of New York under State auspices. Thirty thousand acres of woodland have been purchased by specisl legislative enact
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
Knew His Business.

"You understand" said the plumber to his son, who had just been admitted to partnership, "that it is our rule never to overcharge."
 What do you call an OVerchargeY p asked the young man.
 Charging more than the customer. is worth. h."-Indianapolis Journal.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
Poor Business.

An old gravedigger who lived in a village at the foot of the Grampians was one day complaining about the dullness of times
 "Man. John. is trade that bad wi ye2' said a sympathizing neighbor
 ''Badr' returned John, bringing his staff down with an impatient gesture "I havena buried leevin sowl this sax wooka
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22

Persons who take quinine habltually are now called "quinophagists." But, unfortunately, there Is no word to de fine those who take their temperatures twelve times a day.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
Getting Even.

'Why don't you discharge your pres ent doctor and see if somebody else can't help you? Here he's had you in bed for three weeks now, and you seem to be getting worse all the time."
 "I would make a change, but this fellow owes me $6O, and his bill foots up only $49 to date. I've got to work it out of him somehow"
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22

70, 1 could remain kneeIing here for everp
 You may so far as am concerned, but meanwhile I shall seek other com pany"-Heitere Welt.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22

"You are acting a good deal like a Filipino here lately" said man to his son this morning, ''and unless you be- have better in future. will burn your hut"
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
Ns. rnn NanticaI

Fublisher-I wish you would write us a good sea story.
 Great Author-But have never been to sea.
 Publisher-I know 1t. I want a sea story that people can understand.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
Her ImDression.

"Who Is Aguinaldo?" asked Maud.
 "Why, don't you knOwT responded Mamie. He's Malay"
 ''Oh, yes! How stupid of me. One of those people. who come from Mala- ia."-Washington Star.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22

Italy now seeks port in China, and England, France and Russia are fav- orable to the project. It looks as if China will be nothing but reminis- cence when the next generation grows mn
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22

Stephen Cranes new novel, "War Is Kind" may have been inspired by the fact that wars have provided Stephen with some of his very best literary ma terial
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
English Measure.

q suppose she's worth her weight in gold to youY
 Not exactly. Being an English sfrl she's worth her weight in pOunds."- Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22

Dewey furnishes incontrovertible proof of the fact that even In these days it Is possible to obtain full credit for human greatness without talking
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
Was Sitting On It.

Absorbed Novelist-Mary, please take the cat out or the room. 1 cannot have it making such a noise while I am at work. Where Is 1t?
 Mary-Why, sir, you're sitting on 1t.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22

The inventor of "angel food" is dead at the age of SC, from which fact it may be presumed that he never ate of his speciality to any considerable extent.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
A Compliment.

"Henry, are these pies as good as your mother used to makew
 "Yes, dear, just about. Father used to say my mother was the worst cook he ever saw"
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
Lonks That Way

'T see a member of the New York 400 says no man has a right to get married unless he has an income of at least 5000 a year."
 Whats the matter with him? Has he houseful of grown-up daughtersT
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22

Count Tolstoi's opinion of the Czar's disarmament plan indicates that he has been keeping track of his majesty's or ders for materials of war.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
A Raw Regiment,

"That young fellow has a great com mand of words"
 "Yes, but don't you think he's got very little discipline in his cOmmandT San Francisco Chronicle.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
Cash Hilarity.

Pumpkins never laughs unless there's money in it."
 "Pve seen him laugh at the theater." "Of course he has to laugh there to get his money back"
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22

The bows and arroVs used at Manila will bring our new savages neat sum as souvenirs.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
Great Meteorita

Whatis known as the Bruce meteorite IS now on its way to the British Muse um from Australia. It is said to weigh no less than four tons.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
Common Enough.

"What ever induced you to call your daughter Birdie? Is that her right nameY
 "Oh, no! her real name Is Hortense, but she thinks she has a voice and there's a pretty bill attached"
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
Getting Even.

"What did little Jim do with the quarter he got for having his tooth pulledT
 "He spent it all on comic valentines to send the dentist"
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
Defined.
"Pa. what is n hypocrite ?"


 "A hypocrite, my son, is a man who does what his wife thinks he shouldn't do, and then Is too thoughtful of her feelings to tell her about lt."-Detroit Free Press.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22

"Where is that girl who was out lee turing on There is No DeathY"
 "An undertaken proposed to her and she married him."
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
Wall Decoration.

"Our landlady has taken down Home, Sweet HOme.'"
 What did she put up in its stead" No Quarreling About the Ther- mometer.'"
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
HUMOR OF THE WEEK
STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
 OF THE PRESS.
Odd, Curious and Laughabls Phases of Human Nature Graphically For trayed by Eminent Word Artists ef Our Own Day-A Budget sf Fun

MT. Miggs-My! but isn't the baby restless at night? He's bound to use ny head for a pillow.
 Mrs. Miggs-Of course. He wants something soft, I suppose.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22

A West Virginia man claims to have seen a snake with two heads. The revenue officers down there must be taking a vacation.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
themistry Kinaerxarte

Bobby-Is oxygen what oxen breathe all day?
 Papa-Of course. and what every thing else breathes.
 Bobby-And is nitrogen what every one breathes at nigh? t?-Boston Tray o1oP .sss
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
True.

"The tattooed girl is as pretty as a picture, isn't sheF'
 "Oh. yes, whole lot of pictures. But then her beauty is only skin deep."- Philadelphia Bulletin.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22

Talking about ''The White Mans Burden" reminds one of the task of reading parodies on Kiplings poem.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
'Tis We'll We Can't.

What do you think would be the result if we could see ourselves as others see us?'
 Wed all be so discouraged that none of us would ever have the heart to go ahead and be great"
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
EoreWarned.

"When my typewriter girl went away, what do you thinkY
 "Well-WhatY'
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
Abyssinian Steaks.

In Abyssinia the natives cut steaks from the live COW and eat the meat warm with the natural heat.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22

Beauty is but skin deep. so it is on ap equal footing with freckles.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
Touching.
"I just saw a touching scene"

 "What was itT 1.-Two fat men in by 6 elevator. They touched on all sides"
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
Knows When to Quit.

"You told me your son had business ability"
 Well hasn't he"
 "All he knows is when the clock strikes G."
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
A Business Consolidation.

"NOw he wants to marry my daugh- ter"
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
Wants to Make It Permane

"Our new boarder came here just for 8 temporary home."
 na1
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
Cause for Goodness.

She lon the gray)-What a hot sum- her We had last year!
 He-Yes; but, if you remember, the summer of '50 was just such another. And that is the reason why now she never speaks as We pass by-nor even boWs.-Punch.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22

ing her I was mighty shaky on the use of 'shalP and will"
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
PUBLISHED EVERY SATURDAY

The motor promoter is becoming nu- merous
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
The Way of the World.

"And so you were a member of that dead-locked legislature"
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22
Doubted Him,

He-Give me one kiss that may cherish 1t forever.
 Shells that all you can say in proof of your lOve-that if I kiss you, you won't give it away?-Indianapo Jour nal.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-04-22

"Some men are born rich, some achieve riches and some have riches thrust upon them"
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1899-04-05
PRONOUNCED
|NCURABLE,
A Strange maIady Which Eminent Physicians
Failed to Understand or Master.
From the Republican, Scranton, Penna.

A reporter recently learned of remark
able experience which happened to Mrs.
Frederick Braig, of North Wyoming Ave-
nue., Scranton, Pa. In the interview with
her, she said: 81 suffered for many months
with pains in my back and side. [ called in
all the physicians whom | knew they did
all they could for me, but admitted that
could not be cured. None of them seemed
to know just what my ailment was, and doc
tored me for different diseases, but failed to
benefit me.
e Instead of getting better I became worse
and was obliged to leave my work and re-
main at home. The pains became more
severe, and it was not long before | was
obliged to go to bed, and was unable to leave
1t for several months. I was very weak and
suffered severe pains almost constantly, in
the meanwhile doctoring all the time.
- At that time [ was staying at the home
of my father, Mr.. Van Gordon. at COS Marion
street, this city. [ grew worse steadily and
was almost helpless.
Zone day neighbor came to see me and
told me of DR.. Williams Pink Pills for Pale
People. My father was going down to the
central part of the city that afternoon, and
| asked him to get box of the pills He
brought home box that evening and [ be-
gan taking them. The first box helped me
some and / decided to get another After
taking the second box I felt much better,
and after taking the third I was able to get
up and be about. Before I had taken the
fourth box [ was able to go back to my
work, and felt as we'll as had ever felt in
my life.
married. Since then I have not had to stop
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1899-04-05

decry the business, for with their
fields half dead from want of atten>
ton. the freeze has about wiped them
out; as a result, they blame the indus
try, the climate and everything but
themselves, but ''the gods help them
who help themselves" and the sooner
careless growers are helped out of the
business, the better it will be for those
who are always trying to advance the
interest of the country. Much could be
said in this connection with this bust
ness, and we may again ask space in
your paper to speak a word for this
section. If there should be any inter
ested parties who would like any de-
tailed information concerning the
aforementioned facts, [ will gladly
answer them personally by letter.-W.
r. Hardee, Eden, Brevard Co., Fla,
in Times Union and Citizen.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1899-04-05
sEPea Crazy"

w. F. Massey has been called "pea
crazy'' and now his readers claim he is
making them ''pea crazy" The pro-
fessor is not zone idea' man but he
considers it an all important idea to
inoculate the Southern farmer with
the idea that he cannot make sue
cess of farming in the sandy pine lands
of the South without an abundance OF
humus in the soil and that the road to
humus in the soil is through the cow
pea, and he keeps pegging away on
that line and says he intends to keep
at it. Our Ruralist readers will tes-
tify that he has full indoors ment in
these columns, until the Ruralist may
be appropriately called The Cowpea
Advocate. Well, if we can be a fac
tor in restoring or making productive
soils out of the long leaf pine and wire
grass lands of the South and changing
cotton fields into animal farms by
growing the cowpea and it's near re-
la+ions of the legume family, the work
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1899-04-05

my work for any of the old trouble. I take
the pills right along now as l did before.
| do not think that 1t is necessary to take
them as often as I did, but 1 take them
periodically, and find that they keep me
strong and well. I feel that | can truth
fully say that Dr. Williams Pink Pills for
Pale People have saved my life, and l owe
my recovery and present good health to
them. The complaint is one that is we'll
known to many women. | cannot describe
it, but [ am sure many Of them have suffered
the same excruciating pains with which
suffered.
81 have recommended DR.. Williams Pink
Pills for Pale People to many of my friends
that are suffering with the same trouble that
| had. 1t is the best medicine that l have
ever seen for the troubles that are so COM
mon to women. They will always be a house.
hold remedy in my home. I cannot say too
much in their behalf, for to them can say
all my happiness is due"
All the elements necessary to give new life
and richness to the blood and restore shattered
nerves are contained, in condensed form,
in DR.. Williams Pink Pills for Pale People,
They are also specific for troubles peculiar
to females, such as suppressions, irregulari-
ties and all forms of weakness. They build
up the blood, and restore the glow of health
to pale and sallow cheeks. In men they
effect a radical cure in all cases arising
from mental worry, over-work or excuses
of whatever nature. DR.. Williams Pink Pills
are sold in boxes (never in loose bulk) at 80
cents a box or six boxes for $3.50 and may
be had of all druggists, or direct by mail from
Dr. Williams Medicine Company, Science
tady. N. Y.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1899-04-05
The Country OIL the Pineapple.

1t is a rare occurrence that anything
regarding this immediate locality. Just
why this is, we are at loss to under
stand, unless it is that no one takes
the time or trouble to write it up. That
this section has an individuality that
stamps it and gives it prominence
there is no question. This individual
ity is becoming more marked each
year and the late freeze has done
much to advance it's Importance
For several years there have been
frequent attempts to raise pineapples
in the interior Of the State by covering
at great expense, with the additional
expense of heating the pines so cover
ed. To a certain extent this has been
successful, but the recent freeze has
demonstrated that at points where the
thermometer goes from 10 to IL de-
grees lower than it does here, shedding
ceases to be a virtue and pines SO pro-
tected in those localities are killed to
the ground, if not beyond.
Quite naturally one having gone
through such an experience with a
possibility and probability of a repeti-
ton, will wonder if there are not other
places in Florida where such a calamity
can be obviated. Had they but ignor-
ed the statement that the interior was
the place to grow pineapples and in
vestigated this section, it is very doubt
full if they would be occupying the
mourners' bench to the extent they are
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1899-04-05

of the little Ruralist will not have
been in vain.
In an article in he Southern Plal ter
on the Improvement of Soils the
Professor gets in some strong ticks on
his favorite hobby:
''To restore the humus, of which
clean culture for generations has rob-
bed the soil, is the first step in the i'm
prOvement Of the land. We can, to
some extent do this by Simply grow
ing and blowing under the pea vines
that grow so readily in the poorest
soil. But this only adds a little more
organic matter from the air and nitro
gen from the same source. The lack
Of mineral matter still remains, and
will never be restored till we either
get at what is in the untouched SUBJ
soil or apply it artiicially, or both.
Now, what | have sll this time been
trying to come at is this: The pea is
certainly the great restorer of hum
us in our soil, the source for the nj
trOgen and the food for the cattle that
should crowd our hills. Therefore,
whatever promotes the increased pro.
duction of the pea, not only increases
the food supply on the farm, and hence
it's capacity for making manure, but
it increases the capacity of the pea for
the collection Of the costly nitrogen
in larger amount. Therefore if we
are to get to the point where we will
dispense entirely with the purchase Of
nitrogen, We must do it by promoting
the growth Of the pea crop. And tits
brings me to the point. The pea crop
is the one and only crop in farm ro-
tation on which l would use CONNER
cial fertilizers. They need no nitrogen,
and hence a complete fertilizer is not
needed. But they are greedy consum-
ers of lime, phospnoric acid, and pot
ash, and if well applied with these
the pea will do the rest The pea will,
if well cured, feed your cattle and en-
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1899-04-05


to pineapples through this section, for
there has been serious damage.
While pineapple growing has been
carried on here for many years, there
have been decided improvements from
year to year in the manner of planting,
fertilizing, cultivation, varieties and
general manipulation. Each year has
borne good results along these lines
until it looks at present as though the
proper methods have been adopted by
some, at least of the growers who
have persevered most intelligently in
search of the method of securing the
best results. Open culture has been
the rule in the past-first because
even under that plan pineapples were
a very remunerative crop; second, be-
cause shedding with it's attendant
good results were unknown.
But commencing with the freeze of
1S94-95, there has been more or less
experimenting going on with sheds
The many advantages thereby gained
are SO apparent that it is the consensus
of opinion that ultimately the larger
part Of the pines shipped from here
will be those grown under cover. Aside
from the question OF freezes, the sheds
are a good investment. Pines grow
larger, fields keep up better and there
is no sunburnt fruit-this, coupled
with the satisfaction felt in the eXemp-
ton from damage is worth many
times the cost of the covering, which
soon pays for itself.
No doubt the growing of pineapples
under cover will be continued in the
interior of the State, but the more con-
sentative and careful investor is going
to he somewhat more careful in the
future and if there are safer places
for the investment of his money, he is
not going to be slow in taking advan-
tage of it. 1t is true that the greater
portion of those who have invested in
the interior are men who can stand the
loss without Inconvenience, but why
invest and lose at all, when there is a
certainty and assurance from loss in
this section? Pineapples covered here
at nominal expense, exceed in profit
anV other business in which a man can
invest his money. There are many
acres covered in this section which
will yield this year anywhere from
$500 to 81, 900 per acre. There are also
pines that are in the open that will
bear a fine interest ON the investment,
despite having gone through the freeze
thus emphasizing the fact that it is
even safer and more profitable to grow
pines here in the open fields than else
where in the interior under cover.
But it is best for all parties concern
ed that the business be reduced in
acreage and a better class and double
the quantity of fruit raised per acre
under cover. Under our past system
of open culture and comparative
cheapness of growing the fruit, hun
dreds of people hav~ undertaken to
raise them on all sorts Of land, and
under all kinds of conditions, com
mon cinO Inv ho1f 11rono 20 tiOn of land
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1899-04-05

A discussion arose the other day as
to the cost of making corn fodder in
comparison with beggar weed hay. A
grower here who has kept account
states that every ton of corn fodder
put in his barn cost him $500, while
the beggar weed hay cost slightly less
than $500 per ton. This is on the
basis of both being made by paid la
Dor. We think there is food for re-
Election in the above figures for those
Interested in both crops. They must
also consider that corn takes from the
land while beggar weed adds to it
H. G. Hastings in Southern Ruralist.
The Florida agriculturist. [volume] (DeLand, Fla.) 1878-1911, 1899-04-05

be dug and banked in a similar man
ner to sweet potatoes.
When first dug they are not palat-
able for Stock being sour and acrid.
After standing a month or SO they be-
come sweet and are eagerly devoured
by stock. While the Mangel Beet is
desirable crop we believe our readers
will find that the white Belgian Carrot
will give better results for stock feed
in all light sandy soils. While turnips
and rutabagas are largely grown for
stock feed and are easier grown than
Mangels or Carrots, the latter are
much more nutrit Gus and have
higher feeding value.
+u<
1t is none too soon to begin planning
for the forage and hay crops. Velvet
beans, cowpeas, kaffir corn, Pearl or
Cat-tail millet, beggar weed and te-
osinte all have their place, or should
have in the farm crops. We can make
more hay and forage than can we'll
be handled on any southern farm and
the southern farmer who buys hay Or
forage deserves no sympathy when he
complains of hard times. We have
talked hay and forage crops for ten
years, yet millions of dollars goes
North every year for hay, while thous-
ands of tons of as good hay as ever
grew on the green earth lies on the
ground and rots during the fall and
winter.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1899-05-05
GEORG1A'S MONUMENT.

Chattanooga, Tenn, May 4-The
handsome monument erected by the
citizens Of Georgia to commemorate
the deeds of gallant Georgians who
fought at ChickIamauga, was dedicated
to-day. Gov. Gambler and his staff
participated in the exercises. Hon.
Gordon Lee, a member Of the Georgia
committee, rendered the monument to
the Governor. Gov. Gambler, in an elo-
quent address, accepted the monument
and rendered it to the government.
Gen. H. V. Boynton, president OF the
National Park Committee, who accept
ed the monument on behalf of the gov
eminent, his acceptance address being
short but impressive. An Grafton was
delivered by Hon. J. C. C. Black, of
Augusta.