Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1899-08-12
PAW FOOZLES BADLY.
GEORGIE'S DAD MAKES ANOTHER
SAD EXHIBITION OF HIMSELF.

SAD EHHlBI ION Or HIMSELF.
He Undertakes to Show How the An
cIent and Honorable Gnmc should
De Played - But Let GcorEIe Tell
the story For Himself.
My Uncle Fred Got paw to 90 out
playin Golf yistady afternoon. Thay
went over to the park WHARF they are
some Link, and me and nav and Little
albert and the pup went Along to See
the Fun.
Il never thot / would cum to this
paw Says, "but spose ! got to Be in
fashun. They amt no Game to This
Thing. What's the use of Gittin
Fancy SCOT fer SIGH make Beleave
munky bizness? could play golf with
my overcote on. If thay was sumboddy
pitchin the Ball and putin curves on
to it they mite Be Sum Sense in Tryin
to Hit it. But WHARF the Ball is Layin
Still ennybuddy could Hit it without
Half Tryin. 1t amt nothin But shiny
with Little style throwed in. | used
to Be graft Mt that. and ennybuddy
what ever played Skinny can play This
game rite off | Bet l kin mock that
Ball so fur the Furst whack ! give it
That nobuddy won't never Find it no
more.
"All rite" says Uncle Fred ''come
on and Let's see you Do it. y
So He put the Ball on Top of n Lit
tie pile of Sand and Give paw one of
the clubs, and paw He Begin to Swing
it Up and Down, and nav she Hollered
to waite till she could Git Behind
Tree and then she made me and little
Albert git out of the way, and paw He
Hawled off and Hit with all His mite.
He never Tutched the Ball But the
Handle of His Club Cot His watch
Chane, and when | seen His Watch
Coin Thru the are l thot paw Had made
a Drive what was Coin to Brake the
record, and | Holered:
Good fer you, paw. bet you kin
Hole Down in Three and Beat DOGGY
the First Time.
Paw Didn't stop to Say nothin. But
started after the Watch. We Found
most of it in Less than Half n nour,
and Then paw Went Back to Try it
agin.
After He struck that Time nav says:
Paw, wait. I'll Send George Home
fer the Garden spade.
what Fur?" paw asst.
''Becoz you kin Dig up the Sod
Good deal easier with it Than you kin
with that club. nav Says. ut would
Take you all afternoon to Dig up
place four foot SQuair with That
Thing"
Paw treated nav with cold Disdain.
That's what nav Scd it Was emmy
how. only l Diden't See nothin Very
Cold about it. Paw was purity Hot
But after while He Hit the Ball and it
went rollin along about Fifty feat
Paw diden't Have no Golf Shoes on
with them iron Things in the Soles. 50
His Shoes Got purity Slippery, and
uncle Fred picked out anuther club Fer
Him, and paw walked Down to WHARF
the Ball was Layin and was Coin to
Hit it agin.
Uncle Fred Hollered Fore at Sum
buddy about Half mile ahed, and
Then paw He joggled His club mint
and Then Hauled off with all His mite
and Let go.
l Don't no whether it was paws
Back Bone what made the crack or
whether it was His Busted Suspenders
Mebby it Was only His Teath Comm
Together When He Set Down.
After while When He Begin to Take
a ninterest in Things agin He Says:
"a Persons Back amt Broke if He
kin move His toes is it?'
mo" says Uncle Fred, "try it. "
So paw moved one Foot Little and
Then the other and Rolled over on the
Grass and Says to Nav:
"If you wasn't Such n Blame fool
about always Bein afrade to go out on
the Water we mite of Went on a Bote
excursion Toda. and This Woulden't of
Happened " GEORGE.
Chicago Times Herald.