The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

To illustrate the position of one of the
great national parties during campaign
noted for its fiery partisanship, Chaun-
cey Depew tells this story of the youth
ful politician and the woodchuck, relates
the Saturday Evening Post.
The tutor in one Of the smaller schools
near my native town of Peekskill had
drilled number of his brightest schol-
ars in the history of contemporary poll
tics. and to test both their faith and
their knowledge he called upon three of
ton of personal political principles.
You are a Republican, Tom, are you
not?'
s.'Yes, sir
"And, Bill, you are a ProhDitionst,
believer
I am, sir.
And, Jim, you are Democrat?'
Eyes, sir
We'll, now, the one of you that can
give me the best reason why he belongs
to his party can have this Woodchuck,
which | caught on my way to school
this morning.
"'I am a Republican, said the first
boy, because the Republican party
saved the country in the war and abol-
ished slavery.
And, Bill, why are you a Prohibition
I'm Prohbitionist,' said the first
youth, because rum is the country's
greatest enemy, and the cause of our
overcrowded prisons and poorhouses.'
Excellent reasons. Bill remarked
the tutor, encOuragingly. Now, why are
you Democrat, Jim?'
well, sir, was the slow reply, Il am
a Democrat because | want that wood
chuck
And he got it, too" added Mr.. De
pew.
Il don't hear you saying Down with
the trusts any more"
NO" answered Mr.. Corntossel. '"The
argument got too one-sided. | ken wait
in for some trust or mother to get up an
holler down with Josiar COrntossel,'
But there didn't seem to be no reciprocity
nowheres, so | jes' quit" ashington
Star.
Of the Dublin gallery boys famous
baritone, in his "reminiscences, tells some
facetious tales-one of Faust" in which
he played Valentine.
After the duel Martha, who rushed in
at the head of the crowd, raised his head
and held him in her arms, during the frs
part Of the scene, and cried out, in evil
dent alarm:
80, what shall I do?'
There was a death-like stiffness in the
house, which was interrupted by voice
from the gallery crying out:
''Unbutton his weskitv'-Spare Mo
ments.
Near Whitsett, this state, says the At
lanta (Ga.) Constitution, some of the col
ored brethren had discussion in the
meeting house as to whether or not ode
worP tun 'roun'.' There was consider
able ''contendin' for and against, but
the testimony of an old colored deacon
was conclusive. He said:
"Dey's no such ting ez de worP tu'nin'
over-no SIGH ting, | tell you! Eff dat
wuz de case, wouldn't all de water in de
sea spill out, wen de sea git upside
down? Answer me dat, now! En-, fud-
dermo', could you hoP yo' balance ez hit
tuned over?
Here somewhat learned brother in
terrupted with:
Fer de Lawd sake, deacon, don't you
know muffin bout de contraction er
graduation"
mo, sub, I don't!' Numbered the dea
con. .'Will you please 'splain ter de
meetin' what is contraction er gradua-
tion?'
"Wen,'' replied the brother who had
interrupted him, II did know once 'pon
a time, but DANCED eff | amt done fer
git
TO-:
Hinson-'It makes me tired to hear
the bad grammar they make use of in
some of the stores. For instance, one of
the shopmen at Ketchum's said that he
sold three customers this morning. in
stead of saying that he sold them goods y
Murdoch That's right It may sound
little ungrammatical, but the man
knew what he was talking about. ''-Bos-
ton Transcript.
Il want to see the man who gets up
the list Of names for juries,'' he said
Have you any business with him %
inquired the court official
Yes. There's a man who lives near
me who thinks he knows everything. He
talks loud and makes you feel small.
He's got to have the egotism taken out
of him somehow, and | thought I'd call
around and see if you couldn't put him
on the jury, and let the lawyers ask him
a few of those hypothetical question. -
Washington Star.
A well-known politician who lives in q
nearby town has three very bright AID
promising young children. Their mother
frequently tells them some Bible story
before undressing and putting them to
bed for the night, while the father is DOS
sibly reading a detailed account of the
latest prize fight. The other night. after
their usual religious instruction, the
mother went into the nursery to undress
the children, and. to her surprise. found
4 In I'll al ,1otl1 Il