Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1899-09-29
ON A PLEASURE TRIP.
THE DELIGHTS OF RIDING IN A TROLL
LEY CAR.

A Bangor CMe.) Man Has a Day OF
and Tells What Happened When
He Undertook to Enjoy Himself In
a Quiet Way.
The car left the square at $3.50, and l
was on it, with the intention Of taking a
pleasure trip up the line as far as Old
town. l was standing up with another
lady-excuse me, there was a lady stand
ing with me. There was one vacant seat
near us, between a tall, thin woman
with a sharp nose and a short, stout
man with bow legs. l lifted my hat to
the lady standing with me and, releasing
my hold on a supporting strap, pointed
to the narrow space open for business.
Just then the car came to a sudden stop,
and we embraced each other in q most
violent manner.
There must be a COW on the track
said l to myself.
"Sir! You will please keep your dis
tance,' the lady said Indignantly, when
we had got through hugging each other
and the car had started on.
II beg your pardon, madam, it was
not my fault, I'm sure. Will you occupy
the vacant seat?"
She gave her head a saucy throw up
ward, at the same time making a turn up
Of her nose, and turned her back on me.
l saw at once I had made a great mis-
take in offering her the narrow seat, for
she was simply immense, and as thin as
I was it was a tight squeeze for me. l
sat down, however. only to make the
sharp nosed woman and the bow legged
man turn green with rage.
"Those are my ribs you are elbowing,
if you please" she snapped out.
Excuse me-" I replied. II thought it
was a new dashboard you had purchased
for a Christmas present
"And there is ample room for your feet
without imposing upon my pet corn,
said the bow legged man on my right.
II presume So" l returned, land !
could get them closer together If you
would be so kind as to close up some OF
that space between your knees"
Both people looked daggers at me and
intimated that l had offered them a base
insult, to which l civilly inquired If they
had accepted my offer.
At this point the car stopped with a
jerk again, and all of those standing
and the number had increased wonder-
fully in the short distance we had travel
ed-came piling down at our end of the
car and landed, in a heap on top Of us.
another hunk Of anchor ice in the
Wheels" / thought, but | was mistaken.
for when l got my head out Of the jam |
heard some one remark that they had
stopped to let a fat man on, and l began
trembling for fear he would appear at
our end Of the car at the next stopping
place, and I sent word by the conductor
to tell the motorman to stop her easy
next time or I would report him, but l
guess the conductor couldn't get, by the
fat man, for when the car brought up
again all my breath escaped my body and
my hat was crushed in a most horrible
manner, and when l came to the fat man
was occupying a space opposite me
where three others had sat a moment be-
fore.
"Great Scott" l exclaimed in the ear
Of the bow legged man, who is that
very large man"
"That many he whispered back.
"Why, he is the only man who ever swal-
lowed a submarine mine successfully"
"No! Is that SO? Then he is a dan
gerous individual, I take it. Do you
think we have cause to feel alarmed? Is
he liable to explodeY I asked.
Explode, sir!" said he. "It will be all
day with you if his wife informs him
how you tried to embrace her a few mo-
ments ago."
Mon Dieu, mani" l exclaimed, after
the French fashion. Ellis wife? That
woman his wifeY I asked.
II should say she was very much his
wife. See them ~conversing. She is tell
ing him about it now" said the bow leg
ged man.
"And he is looking daggers and ON
myhawks at you," said the tall, thin,
sharp nosed m on my left. "They're
Injuns out selling baskets; have sold all
out and are going home.'
"Injuns!" l exclaimed, jumping to my
feet. High toned ones, Of course. EN-
braced! Rugged! Well dressed-In.
juns! Here, conductor, let me off" And
l started for the rear end Of the car. But
it was a fatal start, for / tripped over
somebody's feet and fell my whole
length over a pile Of Christmas boxes,
and the children's toys and other gifts
were spilled about the car floor in great
confusion, and when I picked myself UP
and looked about me I discovered a large
toy engine bent into a most horrible
shape.
you did that" said a stout lady with
a double chin, land it will cost you q
half dollar. ! bought that for little Will
lie, and now you must SETTLE" and she
held out her hand for the money. Fifty
cents, please"
settled and then began looking
around for my hat, which had rolled out
Of sight. / found it. A little boy had
been standing on it and mutilated it be.
yond recognition, and / have not been
able to identify it vet.
I finally reached the rear platform
and managed to fall off when the car
stopped at the next point, which was
Orono. told the conductor I would
walk the rest Of the way, but it was q
lie. ! finished my pleasure trip by way
Of the steam cars to Bangor.-Bang0r
Wing and Courier.