Evening star., 1899-07-08
JUDGE OF HUMAN NATURE

1
| man, with the spreading, outstanding ears
| and the beady, alert close-set eyes, was
working the transfer station graft at
| the southwes. corner of Pennsylvania ave-
nue. and 7th street the other evening. His
employment of his large and carefully re-
hearsed repertoire was mastery. The first
man he edged up to was fat and fiorid. and
| of the general appearance of butcher
| with a stand of his own.
Hey, cap hoarsely whispered the graf
ter with a repertoire, don't look straight
at me, FIR de cop on de corners rubber
neck, an he's lPble T. git next. I bin up
again hard game. Jest got de run from
| an ice boat dat shipped on up in Maine
f'r dis port, an dey didn't pay me no wages
r nottin'. Tried t git de skipper pinched,
but dey gives me de chase out O. de station
house. Amt had nottin' t. eat fer tree
days. How's 1t f'r de dime?'
That's good con you got, Bill, and ]
guess it's worth di,ne,' said the man who
looked like butcher, and he produced. The
CRATER with a repertoire ambled across the
street and measured the dimensions of one
of the schooners (the only sort of schooner,
probably, that he ever had measured), and
then he took UP his station on the corner
again. Then he tackled tall thin man,
with crepe-band around his hat.
Sir said ne, II trust you will overlook
the liberty I take in thus addressing you,
but I have just arrived in this city, over
the Pennsylvania railroad, and l de-
sirous of repairing to the home OF some
relatives of mine (whom I have not seen
for many years.. living in a suburb called
Tenleytown, or something like that I'm
fortunately, while I was asleep on the
smoking car, some miscreant went through
my clothing and deprived me of the small
sum I had slowed away for small expendi-
lures, and find myself without the neces-
sary two car fares which, am told, are ex-
acted for the journey to Tenleytown. Might
nf-,. hold - IL 10
date me to that small extent until 1 have
an opportunity of repaying your"
The tall, thin man had been smiling
drearily while this yarn was in progress.
For your ingenuity of imagination, as
well as for your ingenuousness of narration,
my man. he said, and he passed quarter
into the outstretched paw of the CRATER
with repertoire. The emporium OF
schooners was revisited, and then the spiel
er of many songs (not to mention dances)
resumed his stand. The next one he edged
up to with furtive looks about for the cop
at the crossing' was pufy-faced young
man in a chess board suit, red-railfence
shirt, a straw hat lightly hung on lis left
ear, and the look of "hot rags and q
"spote."
Say, Pittsburg Phil" whispered the
CRATER, look at what de ponies has done t.
me. an pass 'em ny! kin tell by de cut
o yer jib dat yOuse are one o de boys dat
back de horses off de boards. But youse
has got de luck wit youse, whereas de
skates has put me on de hog. Lost de last
500 1 had on Banaster, dat was left at de
post in de Suburban. an den L had t. skin
Kin youse make good fr de price? / got a
lime-ldln first on, an nary dc piece @ sill
YER"
And so you play ne for a good thing,
hey?" inquired the young man with the red
barred, Steeplechase shirt-front. well, you
win, just because you've got a good line o.
spiel" and he separated the three loose
nickels from his change and handed them to
the CRATER.
Tanks" said the speer with roper
toire; III put de whole bunch a tou-
sand t one shot, an run de shoestring into
a tannery"
As preliminary to which he walked
across the way and inciosed another
schooner or two.
His next was d welI-groomed. m!ddle-aged
man, with gray mutton-chOp side whiskers
and a pair of keen gray eyes.
My friend, said the CRATER, sort of
shame-laced candor sticking out all over
him, L confess with humiliation that while
l am in the most urgent need of drink of
whisky, 1 have not the money wherewith to
buy the same Do l endanger my liberty
by respectfully, if abashediy, asking you
to supply my need?'
Not In the least" replied the we'll
grooIned man with the mutton-chop whis-
kers. Your monumental gall IS diverting
and rather out of the common in a city
composed of conservative people. More
over, a man who'll SO far cheaper his man.
hood by begging for a drink of whisky on
the public thoroughfare, if for no other
purpose than because the drink of whisky
may temporarily fool him into believing
that he is human. Here's fifteen cents.
Absorb it," and he, too, gave up.
You bring me to a realizing sense of my
sorry condition, sir said the CRATER with
a repertoire, and then he cut across the
street and EMBODIED two foaIning schooners
without any grief whatsoever manifesting
Itself In the expression of his countenance
After this malt rejection. the spieler took
up his stand once more The real good
thing Of the evening happened along then.
He was stout man, clad In good but very
much disarranged clothes, in need of
shave and with a general look of a
who had been giving his wife good search
for him.
Boss" said the CRATER, moving up to
the real good thing, look at de comft'ble
way youss is fixed an den size me up f'r
case o. de emptiesI Bin hittin' up dis burg
f'r two days wtdout ary drink, an none
In sight. l don't purtend t be up t youse
class, cap, but wouldn't do ting If had
de price o a pint O. de hard Stuff
The real good thing eyed the CRATER
with mellow, alcoholic sympathy beaming
from his blinky gaze.
he inquired "Po' boy! Po', po boy! Shad
YER shad-zhat's what L call it! Come on
wish me and III fish you out. Po' slob!
Hard t. be 'izshout zhrink betcher II
know That! Come on''
The CRATER with repertoire winked
sageiy to himself. and then followed the de-
waiting footsteps OF the real good thing
across the avenue The real good thing
ambied unsteadily UP to the steps of the
weird architectural monstrosity, called a
drinking fountain, that stands under the
trees at the northeast corner of 7th street
and the avenue, and waved the CRATER
srandiloquently thereto.
Now Zhrink, po' boy, an heaven blesh
your he said.
He Found the Dinner.
From the New York Tribune