Virginian-pilot. (Norfolk, Va.) 1898-1911, 1899-07-08
TWELVE PAGES
SATURDAY. JULY 8. 1899.
THE HISTORY OF MAN: AN
APOLOGIZE.

The human race were originally an
gels: but the Devil one day showed
them some money. and they fell n love
with it.-fell from grace and heaven:
and after a period of assiduous search
and pursuit of gold and silver. wan
dering all over the Universe. they dis
covered that this little sphere. the
earth. was full of the so-called precious
metals. and here they tarried.
Having been angels. men were still
comparatively good; but they had lost
the clew that led to Heaven; and their
earliest records reveal that the Devil,
taking advantage of their repentance
OF Sin and their desire to regain the
favor Of Heaven by dcvout worship, de-
luded them with strange rites, which
were no better than orgies. and.
through which iniquity covered the
earth as water covers the sea.
Labor. in mercy. was introduced
among men. saving them from much
evil that idle hands find to do. Mean
WHILE the love of money had grown
rife in the land. and the cult had its
prophets priests and Kings, under the
immediate patronage and supervision of
Beelzebub, Lord of Lies and Prince of
Bubblers: the motto of this sect at that
time was:-"Everyone for himself, and
the Devil take the hindmost."
But the love of one another had not
become entirely extinct among men
who had embraced labor as divine
calling. and they instituted unions"
cooperative associations" and other
beneficial societies for mutual aid and
especially to help the weaker. These,
however, demonstrated the immense
power of united effort. and the capital
fists, or lovers of money. speedily adopt
ed and perverted the benevolent
scheme for the selfish purposes of ag-
grandizing themselves by the oppres-
sion and eXtortion Of others-as relig-
ious rites had been prostituted TO Bac-
chanalian revels. Combining their in
fiuence and capital in trusts and other
mammoth agglomerations. the money
worshippers cunningly and unscrupu-
lously engrossed everything. establish
ing universal monopoly everywhere. in
erything.-insomuch that the Devil
himself, as n precautionary and self
NSiSho''C pOiiSy, tOoh
shares in all earthly trusts. or com
bines. usually in the name of some at
tached and faithful friend.
Soon. all mankind. except the acutest
and worst of the monopolists, were
slaves and paupers: the boss monopo-
lists being luxurious and absolute des-
pots. All but these despots unanimously
voted that life was not worth living and
left the earth by every means at hand
as rapidly as possible. Starvation slew
It's thousands cultivated and fatal dis
eases struck down it's tens of thou
sands. and suicide became "a happy
dispatch In some mode or other. TO cs-
cape the vilest basest. most cruel. in
appeasable and atrocious of all tyran-
MES combined in the money monopoly;
and so amazed. curious and eager were
all the inmates of Sheol to keep en- rap
port with the monopolists, that they
thronged and choked the mouth of The
Pit daily to seize with avidity their
copies of the special edition OF the
Daily --- -. printed for them,
and glowing and overlooking with dol
lar-marks 90. figures of immense sums,
and endless announcements OF PROS
PERITY.
The End came. Another Nero arose.
Monopoly must run it's natural and
logical course" he declared. LAS long
as monopoly is shared. 1t is divided and
imperfect. 10. alone will engross all