Mesa free press., 1899-02-03

Arthur-Are you sure she loves you?
dack-Yes; when l told her mad no
money to marry on. she asked me II I
couldn't borrow some.-Tid-Bi
Mrs. Howes-1 don't know what we
are going to do. There is not thing
In the house to eat. Uncle George-You
might take boarders.-Boston Tran
script
Irascible Lieutenant down engine
room tube)-Is there bllthering idiot
at the end of this tube? Voice from the
engine-room-Not at this end. SIR
Punch.
Rural Ragges-Say, Tatts, do you
think it's right to raise the price OF
beer? Tramping Tatters--I've been
trying to raise the price Of one for a
week.-Life.
| "Vot's der dogs name, little girl?
ut used to be 'Fido.' but changed 1t
to Dewey SOS the pleeceman would let
him run on the grass and have good
me."-Truth.
Cholly-Yaas, sevewal years ago
fell deeply in love with girl. but she
| wejected rne-made wegular fool Of
me. Molly-And you never got over it?
Brooklyn Life.
May-The horrid wretch kissed her.
Florry-Well. what matter? May
Why, you see, he was soldier hero and
she wanted to kiss him.-Philadelphi
North American.
/ Subscriber-H is it that you have
printed that long poem three times in
your columns? Editor-Well. really,
didn't suppose anyone would find it out.
-Fliegende Blatter.
II understand you want to hire a
housemaid?' THAT must be mistake.
| do all my own work." TOO bad! 1t
would be just the sort of place that I'd
like" ."-Heitere Welt.
Stubbly with conviction)-I don't be-
lieve in that young doctor. Nurse
Why not? Stubbly-Well. the medicine
he gives doesn't taste bad enough to do
any good.-Boston Globe.
Looking Forward. Mrs. Noear-Do
you think my daughter will be musi
clan? Professor-I giant zay. She may.
She dell me she gone Of long-lived
family.-New York Weekly.
"My impression is," oracularly began
the tall boarder, "that Spain is going to
cede" ut would be more correct"
interrupted the solemn boarder. ito say
she has gone to seed."-Judge.
Miss Sheafe-Oh! just look at that
wheat rising and falling in the breeze.
How beautiful it Is. Mr.. Cityman-
All, but you ought to see it rising and
falling In the corn exchange. It'd Bits.
Before we were married you used to
write me three letters day." did l,
reallyg" ''Yes, you did: and now you
get angry just because l ask you to
write me little bit Of check."-Tid-
Bits.
Jones Qeaving for. Europe)-When
I'm in Rome I'll do as the Romans ,"
Smith-Indeed you won't You'll do as
the Americans do-pay twice as much
for everything as anyone else WOULD
Puck.
Here boy" said the man, throw
away that cigarette and smoke ci-
gar" "Yasser," replied the urchin.
"Say, mister, got a whole pack of
cigarettes in me pocket" Philadelphia
North American.
A Matrimonial Blinkers-
Hello, Winkers. l hear you married a
woman with an independent fortune.
Winkers (sadly)-N-o; l married for
tune with an Independent woman.-
New York Weekly.
"Since Mrs. Black has been a wild
ow,D he suggested, ut seems to me she
looks younger" "Of course" she re-
piled. 1T is more necessary now that
she should" Thus do women betray
each other.-Chicago Post.
81 understand you won the blue rib
bon, so to speak, in the examination
for the civil service" ''I-ah-would
hardly call it that" answered the mild
young man. "Let us say l won the red
ape."-Indianapolis Journal.
"Now that you have lost your job as
surgeon in the regiment, what do you
expect to doY "Oh, I'm all right. I've
opened up little office just around the
corner from a foot-ball-playing col
ege."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
II am always grateful to my parents
for the musical education they gave
me-" said Willie Washington. "But you
never sing" "No. Thanks to my
thoughtful parents, l know enough
about music not to Washington
Star.
Jack-Let's play house. I'll be the
father and you be the mother. Dolly
Yes, and Ill come to you and ask you
for money to buy a new dress. Jack
Yes. there you go! That's just you!
You always want to do something to
raise fght.-Puck.
Mamma" said little Freddie one
evening, may | go out on the street
with the other boys and look at the
conoat 1'' mo dear" reDlied his moth