Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, Ramsey Co., Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1905, 1899-11-03
Mr.. EP|Z00T WILKINS
He Returns Home to face Domestic Instruction
and to Perform "a Most Unpleasant Duty and
Then Visits Mr.. Cleveland.

APPLEJACK FARM, WITCH IL NEXT TU
GROVER CLEvELAND's, IN THE STAT
Nv Moo GERsEY.
Tu the Editur:
1 hev arrived back tn the old farm fer
q breef visit tn mi family, in order tn
git better acquainted with en-, and tn
resoom diplomatic .relashuns with mi
wife, Maria, hoose insurgent attitood hez
trubbled me vile l hev bin in Washing
ton incoobatin various schemes intended
tn unite all kinds Nv Dimicrats intu one
crate organizashun hoose motto will be,
I'VE must git thare!." l wuz willin, fer
my part, tn patch up sum kin Nv a
trooce with her ontil the iniammashun
Nv her temper subsidized, but | he'd tn
ca, in sum NV mi naburs before she
wood consent tn arbitrate. Our differ
ences Nv opinyun WIZ mostly Over the
labor question. She accused me Nv shirk-
in the responsibility Nv sawin wood, and
Nv evadin the dooties thet pertain tn the
household. Ez the result NV our nego-
shiashuns l wuz obliged tn contribute
sum NV mi revenoo fer the maintenance
Nv the family, and tn sine a freely NV
peece bindin me tn observe the laws Nv
Moo Gersey relative tn abscondin hus-
bands hoose wives won't support EN- in
idleness no longer.
Mi hoomiliashun wuz hard tn bear, but
I he'd tn submit tn it fer the good Nv the
Dimicratic party and the puri6cashun
Nv the domesticx sirkle. 1t IL not mi
purpus, however, tn enlarge upon mi
household abasement. l he'd another and
most unpleasant dooty tn perform witch
~ol1ol 80, l,.1, c,,,, 49, ,1o,D% $500,
roundin's in the Buro NV Infermashun in
Washington. 1t wuz tn impart the dis
tressin nooze tn mi d~iscoverer and bene-
factor, Grover Cleveland, tibet he wuz a
dead man, politically %speekin. After the
Bryan outbreak at the Tammany dinner
in MOO York, on the Fourth of Jooly,
and the flop over of MI. Dick Croker tn
Bryan wen he arrived home rum hiz
visit tn the ould country, it wuz pane
fully evident thet sum Nv our dead men
wood hev tn be buried. Sum NV us got
tugether at the Buro NV Infermashun
and held a post mortem eNaminashun
upon the presidenshal chances Nv the
several candidates, and we all conclooded
tibet Nv the big batch hoo he'd bin more
or less ''menshuned' bi sumbuddy, Mr..
Cleveland WIZ deder than all the rest
Nv IL pun IuSClllCl. - t1 eiiSo NSfSiNGu
tibet it wuz mi dooty tn brake the nooze
tn him ez gently ez I Good. When l
went over tn hiz house, l found a big
shinglc nailed tn the frunt door, and on it
WIZ chalked in big letters, "Gone tn
Buzzard's Bay, fshin."
The Importance Wv mi misshun. how
ever, demanded tibet l shood see MIR.
Cleveland, at wunst, and l foo tn hiz
home at Gray Gables. l wuz received ez
well ez emmy Moo Gersey Dimicrat he'd
a right tn expect tn be, and We sampled
sun Nv the ex-President's applejack,
witch hit us both in the rite spot. Thare
is nothin like pure applejack tn brace up
on wen yu hev bad nooze weighin II
yure mind and yu a tn onload it on
s%umbuddy hoo don't want tn hea: it.
After waitin long enuff fer the f1poid
tn prodooce sum symptoms Nv hilarity, l
took kurrije and preached the subjick
witch l heu cum frum Washington tn git
rid Nv.