The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-02-24
HUMOR OF LUNATICS.

11OMOlO OI AlJ4yl1 lCOs
AsANE MANS EXPERIENCE in AN IN
SANE ASYLUM.
by the Time He Got Through Being
Fooled by the Inmates He Was
Ready to Distrust Even the uper.
intendent of the Institution.
II never knew until l went ont to
California this time that insane people
have a powerful sense of humor, said
q Washingtonian who recently returned
from a trip to the coast. II confess that
I've always found a morbid sort of in
terest in going through noted insane
asylums. and so l armed myself with
the proper credentials in San Francisco
and went up to Napa county to have a
look over the splendid asylum for the
insane there. Inasmuch as l wanted to
see a few things without the attention
Of a guide, l didn't present my letters,
but just rambled around the beautiful,
spacious grounds for awhile. l hadn't
spent three minutes examining the ex-
traordinary rose gardens in front of the
main asylum building before a tall
exceedingly well groomed, emerged
from a clump Of oleander trees and APP
preached me.
Taking a look around. chr" said
he to me.
Yes. I said. I only arrived here
q few minutes ago, and I'm taking the
liberty Of nosing about without any
official guidance
Well, the tall young nan said,
pleasantly. 4 don't suppose I fall out
of the classification t'oficial guidance,
seeing that I am the assistant superin-
tendent here, yet I should be pleased to
show you about and at the same time
try not to place any restraint upon you
by my awe inspiring presence.
""Well. the young chaps was
SO pleasant and winning that I could
only thank him for his kindness, and
we started over the grounds. We
hadn't gone far before a middle aged
man. also well dressed and we'll groom
ed, appeared some distance in front Of
us down the gravel walk. and he beck
oned to my companion. The young
man excused himself c~ourteously and
went up to the middle aged man. The
two conversed earnestly together for q
few minutes, and then, linking arms,
what do they do but coolly walk of,
leaving me standing there in the mid
die of the gravel path. a good deal non
plused.
j" Surprised over the way they de-
serted your said a voice right back Of
me. You mustn't mind a little thing
like that. though. Both of those men
are as crazy as looms.
81 turned around, and there, stand
ing behind a hedge about ten feet to my
rear. was a little old gentleman, neatly
dressed in black, and with a quizzical
smile on his features.
Surely I said. you cannot mean
that that rational speaking, pleasant
hammered young man who was conduct
ing me about the grounds is bereft Of
his wits2'
Mad as a March hare, repeated
the old gentleman fatty. 'Incurabls
case. Harmless. but incurable. The
that he went off with is also q
very sad case-very. Thinks he is the
Maharajah Of Bludblud. or something
like that. But you mustn't mind EN-.
Lots of visitors are taken in the same
way. If you care to, I'll just show you
around. I am one of the board Of visit
ors of this institution and just happen
to be here in my unofficial capacity to-
day
'Much marveling over what the old
gentleman told me, I fell in with him.
and we rambled around the huge gera-
mum arbors, and finally entered the
glass building where the cu1-
tivation of violets is carried on.
"'Nice array Of flowers, isn't it
the old gentleman inquired of me. wav-
ing his hand at the beautiful beds Of
violets in bloom. 4 am not Unfortunately
vain, my friend, / hope you will under
and yet l cannot but congratu-
late myself upon the introduction Of
this violet raising feature here, for !
myself was responsible for it and only
succeeded in having this dollhouse con-
after enormous exertions with
the authorities of the institution.
81 congratulated the old gentleman
upon the result Of his labors and was
just about to ask him to take me into
the main building and introduce me to
the superintendent when he suddenly
excused himself, saying that he had
left his spectacles on a bench in the
and would be back directly.
waited for him for. fully ten minutes.
but as he did not return l started on
put of the glass building.
"tYou didn't really expect him
l heard a voice say, and then
, pleasant faced man, dressed as a la
and carrying q watering pot,
came from behind a group Of palms.
He spoke with a Scotch brogue.
1.-THE old gentleman you were with
so yors1 h0l ~,n Lo-1 soos5 Az I'LL