davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1899-03-30
BEWARE OF OINTMENTs FOR CATABRh
THAT CONTAIN MERCURY,

as mercury will surely destroy the sense o.
smell and completely dersnge the who.e ~.
TEN when entering it through the mucol5;
surfaces. Such articles should never be usel
except on prescriptions from reputable pA "a
cans, as the damage they will do Is ten lo. ..
to the good you can possibly derive i,y w..
them. Halls Catarrh Cure, manufacture w
F. J. Cheney & Co.. Toledo, O.. contains Nv
mercury, and is taken int rna!iy. aciii- W
recty upon the blood and mucous slri''. 80, 80.
the system. In buying Halls CatsF[h ~. ~
be sure you get the genuine. 1t Is iaHel y
ternally. and made IN Toledo, Ono D! 1'''
Cheney s. Co. Testimonials free. 81.
Sold by ell druggists, price Toe. PEI 0o'''-'
HALLS Family Pills are the best.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1899-03-30

WILL LET THE MEN Goa dispatch
from Richmond says: Commonwealth
Attorney B. T. Gunter, OF Accomac,
held conference yesterday with Gov
ernor Tyler in regard TO the Maryland
osstermen and oyster boats captured
and held in that county. MIR. Gunter
later discussed the hearing of the case
with Attorney General Montague, and
the latter will make report to the
governor tomorrow. Governor Tyler
is in conciliatory frame of mind, and
it is likely that the boats will be re.
leased.
The Marylanders are prisoners in Accomac
Jail. 1t is understood that the Virginia at
torney would throw the burden of proof on
Maryland as to the fact that the men were
captured in Maryland waters In similar
case, some years ago, Governor O'Ferrall re-
leased the boats, and the commonwealth at
torney mol pressed the case against the men
In the present capture, it is plain that the
men are employees, and not owners and it is
likely that the same procedure will take
place with them if Governor Tyler releases the
boats as he is likely to do. The Virginia
executive expresses desire TO be on the most
friendly terms with his sister State
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1899-03-30

For frost bites, burns, indolent sores e. e.
zema. skin disease, and especially flv'' - -
Wits Witch Hazel Sslve stands nrst III 49,.
Look out for dishonest people VINO tTy - 80.
tate and counterfeit it. It's their Gnu "a
ment of a good article Worth ess Pooi ~. ~, 81
not initiated. Get DeWitrs Wltca I'D I'd
salve. Edgar Wsrfeld, ir. corner hlHS 49,
Pitt streets.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1899-03-30
COURT OF Appeals

Norfolk and Western Railway Co. VS.. Old
Dominion Baggage Co. Argued and contin.
ued until to-day.
The next cases to be heard are American
Net snd Irvine Co. vs. Mayo, No. "a, and
Eldred VS.. Eldred, No. 81.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1899-03-30

AS ANTICIPATED, the expansion poll
cy having proved so profitable to the
exp&nsioDists, that are seeking other
lands in foreign countries upon which
TO plant "the flag" The trans.cOn-
tiuental canal people, now that their
scheme for getting treasury money into
their pockets has failed, have adopted
the expansion idea, and as means Of
reviving that scheme and promoting
their own INTEREST,", advocate the seiz-
ure of the whole OF Nicaragua and an
nexing it to the United States. in which
event they imagine the digging OF a
canal through that country would be
requisite and necessary.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1899-03-30

DIR. BULLS COUGH SYRUP
is most valuable remedy for all tnros1
and lung affections. 1t cures couSh
or cold in one day. Doses are small
Results sure. Price % cts hottie.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1899-03-30

AFTER pension has been paid foi
thirty years to three alleged widows of d
negro soldier, it has just been discover
ed that the soldier referred to never
was married. But this is only fair
sample OF the way in which the people
of this country have been, and are being
plundered. However as they apparently
like it, there is no effective reason why
it should not be continued Indefinitely.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1899-03-30

STEAMER SUNK.--A dispatch from
Cairo, ILL.,, says: The steamer Rowena
Lee, OF Memphis, sank in midstream at
Tyler, Mo-, in seventy-fve feet G. water
between and o'clock yesterday af-
ternoon. She had just headed down
stream when, as if by an explosion
from underneath, she broke in two,
both ends sinking from view. There
were sixty persons aboard. Three lives
were lost, mail clerk, chambernaid
and woman passenger.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1899-03-30

AT THE election in Genesee. n y,
last week, Ferdinand WARD, the famous
financial Napoleon" and ex-o.og sing
convict, was candidate FOR the office
ofiuspector OF elections. His opponen:
was one of the most reputable and
largest tax payers in the town. But
Ward was elected by three hundred
msjority. This doesn't prove that
1.-The people" can never be relied upon
to elect good men to Office, but neither
does it prove that they never elect
men of disreputable character. Ger
tainly some of the men who have been
elected to Office by the direct vote OF
the people of Virginia could not have
been worse if elected by the legislature.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1899-03-30

Give me liver regulator and I can regu-
late the world" said genius. The druggist
handed him bottle Of DeWitt's Littly Early
Rsers, The famous little pills: Edgar War
field, jr., corner King and Pit streets,
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1899-03-30
The Markets.

Chicago, Mar. 30.-Tae msrke, cose' Or
follows: Wheat-July 73las73Lt Neg
T3lsa73la. COrn-July -; May 56H'o'-
0ats-July-; May 267-a27. PorS-As!
50 90 Lsrd-May So co
Georgetown. Mar. 30.-Wheat lOa.o
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1899-03-30

DIR. BULLS COUGH SYRUP
is pleasant to take;it tastes good; child
rem like 1t; no trouble to administer it
and 1t always cures. Buy the genuine,
DR.. John W. Bulls Cough Syrup.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-08-18
FURNISHING NOTES.
The Latest in Wall Papers and Hang
inga for the Summer
Season.

Wallpapers of the tale or silk grounds
shud dust and keep clean much longer
than dull-surfaced papers like the in
grain or cartridge sort. but the latter
are more artistic and furnish better
backgrounds.
Silk and satin and talc-faced papers
are very excellent for papering houses
in towns where much soft coal is
burned, and for houses that have very
poor lighting capacities, as they catch
and reflect every ray of light and catch
less SCOT and dust than other papers,
the vanished sort excepted.
Vanished papers and the so-called
sanitary papers that may be washed
down, are also excellent for smoky and
dusty locations.
Oil cloth of the usual tile patterns
may be very acceptably used for cover
ing kitchen walls and the walls of bath
rooms. 1t is somewhat expensive at
the start, but it will last almost indeti-
nitely and. can be washed off with a
damp cloth without injury. 1t should
be secured to walls and ceilings and
laid on in panels by means of fiat
wooden holdings.
There comes a lightweight silky
looking denim in beautiful colors,
which, if it keeps it's color and washes
as well as it's ordinary namesake, ought
to make very pleasant summer cur
tains. One shade, sort of light, dull
peacock-blue, is fascinating in this ma
terial.-Ladies' World.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-08-18

The Veterans of sixty one and five and
their friends, who are going to attend the
a33rd G.. 4. Il. Annual Encampment at PhIa-
deiphia in September, could not select bet
ter nor more historic route than the Big
Four, Chesapeake i Ohio with splendid
service from Chicago, Peoria and ST. Louis
on the Big Four, all connecting at Indian
apolis or Cincinnati and thence over the
Picturesque Chesapeake Il Ohio along The
Ohio river to Huntington, West Va, thence
through the foothills of the AHeghanIes,
over the Mountains, through the famous
Springs Region OF Virginia to Staunton,
Va, between which point and Washington
are many of the most prominent Battle
fields: Waynesboro. GordonsviIIe, Cedar
Mountain, Rappahannock- Kettle Run.
Manassas, Bull Run, Fairfax, and score ct
others nearly as prominent Washington -
next, and thence via the Pennsylvania Line
direct to Philadelphia There will be three
rates in effect for this business: Ist ContIn-
uous passage, with no stop-over privilege,
End. Going and coming same route with one
stop-over in each direction, Sd CircuItous
route, going one way and back another with
one stop-over in each direction For full
information as to Routes, Rates, ETC. adj
dress j. c. Tucker, g. ". L., "a Clark St.
CHICAGO.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-08-18
or A BAsHFuL MAN-
He Would Have Gone ~ He COuaA
Have SuAmoDed Up Courage
to Ask for HIS Hns~

II always was bashfuI sort Of a fellow
when was young, said AnaEias Fisher. as
be passed his plate for the third piece
OF pie. He was dining out with friends and
wished them to understand his rempera-
Ment.
But was broken of that habit before
l. was %. 1t was either case of get over
1T or stay all night, and I got over it, he
saId. as his plate was returned with good
sized piece of pie such as Topeka house
keepers make. Il was calling, out on Fill
more street, and when went in forgot all
halI, and carried it into the parIor with me-
l put 1t on sofa, and when the lady Of the
house came IN she said how -dye-do' and sas
her $50 pounds down on that hat
~ beg your PARDON said.
Why, what's the natter she asked.
foe 1 guess / looked kind OF bewiIdered
80, nothing answered. I just got
stitch IN my heart
We went on talking, and thought that
when she got up could sneak that hat. but
she talked and talked
= 1t got along to nine o'clock, and knew
ought to go, but was too bashfuI 20 say
struck ten, and knew I was stayinS too
long, but l could not get that hat
Is it moonlight? asked the 2Sgpound
lady.
II said it was, and knew she wanted me to-
90, Dut did not have the nerve TO ask
tor that hat just as the clock struck Il
she blurted out: why don't you co.
~ will if you will give me that has,' T
said.
What hate'
"'Ny hat
Where is it
You are sitting on It.
Ne: and she jumped up
There was my hat, and it looked much
sat upon, but no more than that woman.
have Lever been bashfuI since them
Burlington Hawkeye.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-08-18

WHEN ! HAVE TIME.

When have time I'll pause and turn aside:
I'll take the narrow way; forsake the wide;
I'll shun the thoroughfares where traffic
grinds .-.a. ...'
Forever and anon,
Where lucre's sheen the soul Of mankind
blinds,
But drives and shoves him on;
And guides his fingers to his neighbours
purse,
And sinks him to perdition's depths OF
worse;
I'll quit these scenes. some day
When I have time.
When have time, at home I'll spend it
I'll kiss the face that greets me at the door:
And by my tired wife I'll take my place,
Her burdens will share.
I'll smooth her way: I'll Danish from her
face
The shad'wy clouds Of care.
I'll HE me to the by-ways; the oppressed
I'll aid; I'll comfort the distressed.
These things I'll do, and more
When have time.
When have time I'll make my peace with
God;
I'll tread the paths that other saints have
trod;
I'll take my dusty Bible from its shelf
And read it through and through;
I'll learn to love my neighbor as myself
"a precept learned by few,
And then, some day, I'll lay me down to
rest,
Well satisfied that have done my best
Some day: not now; not yet;
When I have time.
Lawrence Porcher Hext, in Leslies
Weekly
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-08-18
4 Profane SILENCE

A story is going she rounds OF golf match
between Rev. DR.. Sterrst and Justice Hsr-
Ian OF the United States supreme court The
incident occurred at Chevy Chase Golf
club, one OF the prominent organizations
near Washington. during meeting be-
TWEEN these two ardent golfers The doctor
discovered that his ball teed up IN tempting
style for fine brassie shot. and with the
Utmost deIiberatIon- he went through with
the preliminary "waggIes," and with gu
preme effort-missed the ball For fully
minute he 9azed at the tantaTizing sphere
without uttering word. At length Jus
tice Harlan remarked soIemnTv: Doctor,
that was the most profane silence I ever
listened to.'-Pittsbursh Dispatch
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-08-18

of us run there in considerable hurry,
but before we could get there out
comes Mister Man lambasting away
with his "Christy" hat, while old Gen.
Weyler looked kind of silly, with kid s
slate hitched on to his off hind foot
and his mouth full of copybooks and
little truck. But though he put in his
very best ticks he could not pile that
greenhorn. I guess that ''Christy-
stiff hat kind of paralyzed him.
You see, COW horses amt used to
such trimmings.
Anyhow, after the tenderfoot had
charged round for awhile and fair dis
couraged old Weyler, he rode right up
on the sidewalk, into the saloon and up
to the bar. Then, says he, throwing one
leg over the horse and sitting sideways,
with his battered hat perched on one
OF Weyler's ears:
''Well, boys, I guess the drinks are
on Rowe this time? Did you fellows
get this old mutton-headed plug
cayeuse from a sheep-herder?''
Come to find out he wasn't no green
horn at all, but the Nevada Kid" and
l guess you know what kind of q
'bronco buster" he is.-N. Y. Sun.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-08-18
HOLDING HER own.
She Liked toMeet Z. Man Occasionally
Who Could Talk Intelli-
Z gently.

She was q winsome creature, with
large, eloquent eyes and a gown Of
fluffy material. Willie Washington was
irresistibly attracted to her. She
talked q great deal about authors and
was familiar with those, at least, who
are being currently advertised, for she
said she just dotted on any he happened
to mention. He CHANGED to quote lit
tie poetry and remarked: II.
THAT is BY Campbell. Of course, you
recognize it?'' s g.. ~
"Oh, yes" she answered" I recognize
it. But, to tell you the truth, never
cared SO much for Campbell's poetry. I
thought his plays were fine. When I
was little girl used to beg father to
let me 60 to the theater every time I
saw BARLEY Campbell's White Slave
on the bill boards"
He looked uneasy, but merely re-
marked:
You like plays?"
Eyes, indeed
$50 do I. By the way, that reminds
me OF something. You know Sheridan's
'Rivals?' p"
"Not personally" she replied. ''You
see, l was not born until after that war,
and never took much interest in mil
itary affairs until recently. But I have
no doubt that Fighting Phil had great
many of them.''
"A great many what?'
why, rivals, of course"
"Oh, yes; of course
did you admire Stevenson" he in
CURED, apprehensively.
stephenson? Oh, yes, indeed. 1
think the way he discovered the loco
motive was too cute for anything.
Don't you think SOP"
"Yes," was the melancholy reply, lit
was pretty cute. But wasn't referring
to that
"Oh! How stupid of me. You mean
Adlal. 1 never saw a man in my life
who wouldn't get to talking about po-
itical people sooner or later. He was
very good vice president" she added,
confidently, livery good, indeed. By the
way, you were speaking of the stage.
Do you like Jefferson?"
Willie looked up and YEARLY asked:
(which one-Tom or Joe?"
But she was perfectly willing to talk
about either, and as he took his leave
she cast upon him glance of bewitch.
ing sweetness and said it was such
pleasure to meet a man once in awhile
who could converse intelligently.-
Washington Star.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-08-18
MADH0UsE COOKS.
Were About to Make a Broth of Their
Attendant and Drove Him
Insane.

A celebrated Scotch physician tells
story Of madhouse doctor whose
presence of mind alone saved his life.
"A great friend Of mine was for a
considerable time the medical super
intendent of a lunatic asylum near
Glasgow.
"One day in making his customary
rounds he had occasion to visit the pa
tients in the kitchen, who were prepar-
ing the dinner. There were seven of
them-all big, sturdy fellows, who
were believed to be harmless. The
keeper only looked in upon them now
and again, feeling that his constant
presence was unnecessary.
1.-THE doctor unlocked the iron-barred
door of the kitchen and went in among
the lunatics.
"There were five large boilers con-
tanning scalding water ready for max
ing the days dinner for the patients.
Zone of the lunatics pointed at the
boilers full of hot water, and, laying
his hand upon the doctors shoulder
said: doctor, you'll make fine pot OF
BROTH and the words had no sooner
been uttered than the other six mad.
men shouted in voice of delight: Just
the thing and selling the doctor, were
in the very act of putting him into
one of the large boilers of scalding wa.
ter, when the doctor had the presence
of mind to say, but not aE;second toe
soon: .s.sS"..s
''''Capital broth, but it would taste
better if I took my clothes off,
"The madmen with yell of delight
said yes and the doctor asked them
to wait a moment while he went and
took his clothes off, but as soon as III
got out Of the kitchen he turned the
key in the door, and ordered the keep
er to see to the lunatics being put I'm
der restraint. ~
''The doctors presence of mnid saved
him, it is true, from terrible death
but he died shortly after raving mad
TIL eexeprience had destroyed his rem
son.'-Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-08-18
So we took the saddle OF. Then says

II amt used to that kind Of bride;
pap had a bride, but itwasn't that kind
Of fancy truck. I generally used Just
rope round Molly's neck, or a halter.
Please take the bride off,
So we took off the bride: but It was
tough job, for old Gen. Weyler was
Waiting round in fine style, kicking up
and striking out and snorting to beat
the band. The Missouri hayseed's eyes
began to bulge out some, and says he:
THAT seems a pretty ornery kind of
horse. I guess I may have a little
trouble in getting on him. I amt afraid
of him once get on him, but getting
on seems to be the trouble with me-"
EYES," says Rowe, that does seem
to be the trouble. But some of the boys
here will give you leg-up if you like. "
"Oh, no." says he. my pap useter
say that if I couldn't get on my horse,
walking was good enough for me. 1
guess can have a try at him if one Of
you gentlemen will please lend me q
pair of spurs"
Oh, but he was most polite and in
nocent! So gives him a pair of spurs
and he puts them on and slides up to
old Gen. Weyler, while the boys was
getting ready to fall down and die
a-laughing. Joe Kirkwood and Cadotte
was holding onto the rope and the
bronc was dancing round them with
his ears laid back and a considerable
amount of white in his eyes, when, all
of a sudden that crazy tenderfoot
rushes at him, grabs him by the name
and scrambles on to his back, snatches
the hackamore rope from the boys and
turns him loose!
Well, STREE! That was circus! There
was clouds of dust, and snortings, and
ceilings, old Gen. Weyler bucking end
days, sideways and every-which-ways
while that greenhorn from Missouri
just dug the spurs into him and banged
him over the head with that "Christy.
stitf'' hat.
Now, there was little schoolhouse
close by, and what does that blanked
fool do but ride kersmash through the
door and into the room, and the fust
thing we knowed there was the kids
just a-boiling out of the winders and
the schoolma'am yelling blue murder!
She was mighty pretty girl and some
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-08-18
Canned watermelon.

Cut. rind of ripe melons first cutting
off all green parts) into small pieces
two or three inches long and boil until
tender enough to pierce with fork.
Have strip made of white sugar, al
lowing one-half pound sugar to pound
Of fruit; skim out melon and place in
sirup, together with few pieces OF race
ginger; let cook a. few minutes, put in
cans and seal hot.-Boston Globe.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-08-18
E9E Salad.

Hard-boiled eggs. Remove the white
very carefully, so as to leave the yolk
. perfect ball. Arrange bed of water
crosses on q dish. Make nest of S.,e
chopped whites and put one whole yolk
in the center of each nest. Pour over
this yolk a tablespoonful of salad dress
ing. Many serve small balls of cottage
cheese with this.--Ladies' World.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-08-18
Indian Pancakes.

One pint of Indian meal, one tea
spoonful salt, mixed with enough boil
ing water to make little thinner than
mush. When cool add the yolks of
four eggs, half cup -four sifted with
three teaspoonfuls baking powder,
enough sweet milk to make batter as
for griddle cakes, and the beaten whites
of four eggs, added just before baking.
st. Louis Globe-Democrat. - s.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-08-18
Semi-AnnuaI Experience,

Wife latter house cleaning)-It takes
a woman to bring order out of chaos.
Husband crushing wildly around
after his belongiDgs)-It takes a wom-
an to make chaos that looks like or
der.-N. Y. Weekly.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-08-18
"A Hint.

After all, it's a bit cruel to take flow
ers from their cool resting place in
vase of water, and choke them to sud-
den death by wearing them in the hot
streets. A good deal more enjoyment
can be had out of them by letting them
live in peace, and in looking at them
comfortably encased in vase of wa
ter.=Detroit Free Press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-08-18
An Optimistic View,

"The lies the blamed newspapers publish
about Us. said one politician TO another, s
enough TO drive man 30 drink"
Yes, that's SC" replied the other, but
still we have no cause for complaint"
Why mott" asked the first IN surprise
We'll, it might be much worse" was the
reply. They might publish the TRUTH
Chicago Evening News.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-08-18
An Object Lesson,

Jaggles-Why do you call your boy
patriotic?
Waggles- Because when the doctor
got through covering him with strips
OF plaster he had enough stars and
stripes on him to make fag.-N. Y.
World.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-08-18

Mrs. Stubb-John. IS that you coming
home at such an unearthIy hour
Mr.. Stubb-Yes, M-Maria; the club had
2 little D-Dewey toast tonight
well, you remind me OF Dewey"
"1E wwhat way. M-Maria2"
"a long time coming home"-Chicago
Evening Views.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-08-18
A Double Reform.

Life would be truer at the core
And shQrn of much distress,
If we'd laugh at our own troubles more
And our neighbors' troubles less.
Il. A. w. Bulletin.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-08-18
Woman's Passion.

my wife always leaves our house in
prime order when we go away"
''What's that for?"
"She wouldn't want even burglar
to think she was poor housekeeper."
Chicago Morning Record.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-08-18
Still in Demand.

martha, there's no use in CROWN
hay any more. The autymobiles will
run horses out Of business
''Don't git discouraged, Jonas. So
ciety folks will have to have their hay
fever jis' tn same."-Chicago Daily
Record.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-08-18
wouIdn,t Take auy Chance.

A certain Nauvoo woman assured her hus-
band that she never told him lie and never
would. He told her that he did not doubt It,
but would hereafter cut notch IN the piano
when he knew she deceived him. No you
won'tr she screamed; I'm not going 60
have my piano ruined Inter
Ocean.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-08-18
A ClOse Oxextion

Dick-Isn't it good to have close
friend?
Observation-Disclosures. Suppose you want
loan for few days. Do you think
close friend would be the one to ap-
Proach?-Chicago Daily News.