The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-07-06
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NEVADA.

good fori" kitty (denurely) Their
face yalue."- Brooklyn life.
Jndge-The only way that yen can
get OUT is through an alibi, Prisoner
Well, Judge, whar IS de alleyi
Bessie-"Jack's hear: Is in the right
Bessle-'I have if."-Town Topics.
Father-"Tommy stop pulling laat
cats tail" Tommy-"Inl only bold
Ing the tall; the cats pulling it."-Iit-
Bits.
Housewife "HoN dare you ask me
to feed you again. Ho5o That,
ma'am, Is perfashnul secret. DE
uoit Journal.
Angry Soubrette-"I understand you
have been telling everybody M hair
Is not my own Her Hated Rival
ITS false"-Life.
Where does the boat called a
smack properly belong:' Il don't
know" why. ON the face of the
waters. "-Philadelphi Bulletin.
JONES' Marie, I'm sure there's some
thing crawling up my back" Mrs.
Jones-"Oh. l guess It's just your
fancy" Jones-"No, It's too lively
Life.
Kings aughter-Merey! Do you
allow that half-grown girl to read
lola and Ouida? The MOTHER must
do something TO keep her away from
daily newspapers.
Mrs. Van Twlller (who mistakes DR..
Joylal for Il physician And where do
you practice, doctor? The Rev. Dr.
Jovial-Ah. madam. ! do not practice;
| only preach.-Harlem Life.
Miss Fondart-"Jack. what do they
mean when they spenk of lirst-water
diamondY Jaek-"One that-um-~er
one fresh from the mlne-never been
soaked you know.'-.Iewelers' Weekly.
After man has taken a girl 10 n the
alter as often as six times, and called
upon her with chocolates IN his pocket,
she begins TO see a resemblance in him
to her fayorlte hero in noyel.-Atchi-
son Globe.
II read today said Mrs. Mcbride,
"of Judge who recently granted TWEEN
ty divorces in one day" 'He must be
one of those twenty-knot destroyers we
read about sometimes" added Mr.. Nc
Bride.-Life.
Jones-Dear mel You say you often
lay down the law 10 your wife. How
do you go about II? Bones-Why. all |
you need is firmness. ! usually go into |
my study, lock the door, and do il over |
the transom. Puck.
He-Why did you fail to recognize |
me on the street to-day? She-I didn't |
zee you. He-That's strange. l saw |
you twice. She-oh, that probably ac-
counts for 1t. | never notice man In |
that condition. and Fabric.
Charming widow. isn't shei |
They say she is to marry again. Algy-
l wouldn't want to be Widows sec
ond husband. Cholly-Well, III rather
be widows second husband than her |
first husband. doncherknow.-Puck.
Eyes, Stubs was goin' into a decline,
an the doctor said tn best thing for
him was TO get an easy government job |
and lie around doing nothing" "A sine
cure, ehT' II don't know what kind O. |
cure you call 1t, but anyhow he's
cured"
'"rhe trouble with him. said the
young man who had been trying to |
fttingly describe an acquaintance SIS |
that when he dipped into the sea of |
knowledge he thought he brought up |
50 much that the blamed thing went
dry."-Chlcago Post.
Mrs. Tllford must have taken |
Daniel Webster long time TO com
pile the dictionary; don't you think |
sou Tilford-"Daniel? You mean
Noah, don't your Mrs. Tilford-
"Now, don't be silly. Noah built the
arE. Brooklyn Life.
Curran, the Irish advocate, was ex-
aiming a witness once, and, failing to
get q direct answer, said: "rhere is no
use in asking you questions, for ! see
the villain In your facet! DO you, slr?'
said the man. "Faix, never knew be-
fore that my.face was looking glass"
Mr.. Yonnghusband- is no use
taking won't eat any more of your
cooking. Mrs. Younghusband dearful-
ly)-And you-you-sald-you were
willing to-die-dle for me But, mad
ame. there are worse things than
death. Sydney Town aud Country
Journal.
Mrs Proudfoot-"Yes. Mrs. AIala-
prop, that's an heirloom. It's been in
Mr.. Proudfoot's family over hun
bred years Mrs. Malaprop do tell
I've been naggin' at John Henry TO get
M heirloom ever since we moved TO
the city, but he can't find any, except
second hand ones. and | won't have
Jewellers Weekly.
A rich but ignorant lady, who was
rather ambitious In her conversational
style, in speaking OF friend, said:
He 10 a paragram of pollteness.' Eek
cusc me- said a wag sitting next to
her. "bu; do you not mean PARALLEL
pram?" "of course | do" Immediately
replied the lady. How could | have
made such n mistakeT
His idea OF the process: AS I'M
It," said The heather, you
,ropose TO civili1c me. Exactly so
You mean 10 get ne out Of habits OF
sllensss and teach me 10 wolk. That
. the idea" And then lead me to sim
,lify my methods and invent things 10
make nv work lighter" Yes And
,axt will become ambitious TO get