Cottonwood report. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1893-1901, 1899-01-13
HA!ljIAgal|!|!EE||l


sadder than to have loved and lostf'
Hennypeck (promptly)-''To have loved
and got her."
Artist-How do you Ike the portraiti
Sitter-Well, l don't exactly like the
nose. Artist-Neither do l; but it's
yours.-Tit-B Bits.
Doctor-"This medicine is to be taken
on an empty stomoch." Patient
Chats all right-I've just been to a
FIVE o'clock tea"
Hicks-"Every dog has his day, my
boy" Dick Hicks-"Then why do they
fight" Hicks-1 suppose it frequent
ly happens that two of them have the
same day."-Life.
Indignant Woman-This dog I
bought of you came near eating my lit.
tie girl the other day. Dealer-Well,
you said you wanted dog that was
fond of children, didn't COURTHOUSE.
hold Words.
Hiram describing his trip to the
ethyl went inter the store an got In
one of them things that take you right
up tew the roof In a jiffy-what dyer
call 'em, Marthy7 Martha-Them's
shoplifters.
Smithers Society poet)-"I am think.
Ing Of issuing volume with wide mar
gins. Do you like the ideaT Miss DE
Facto twarmly)-"Indeed, you cannot
make your margins too wide for me.
adore blank verse; Harlem Life.
Miss Parvenu Dust home from
abroad)-There we saw Venus de Milo.
She was very lovely, but she had no
arms. Miss Geraldine Parvenu (who
stayed at home)-Did you look on the
door of her coach?-Detroit Journal.
"Oh, mamma, don't read any more
about cannibals being wicked for cook
ing the missionaries. Why, my own
dads as bad as any of them; l heard
him tell you himself that at dinner lust
night he toasted all his friends. ALLY
Sloper.
Possible Boarder-"Now, my friend,
enjoyed my dinner very much, and II
1t was a fair sample of your meals I
should like to come to terms" Farmer
-"First Of all, stranger, wus that a
fair sample Of your appetizer -Brook.
lyn Life.
Visiting Humorist-l saw a new gag
to-day on the Jersey mosquitoes. Jer.
seyite (soberly)-Don't deceive yerself
young man. Yew may hev seen suth'
In on 'em that looked like a gag, bud
ten to one it's only some new-fangled
contrivance fer gettin' a better holt
Judge.
II don't know whether to regard this
young author as a marvel of courtesy
or a phenomenal specimen of assur
ance," said the magazine editors as
sistant. What has he doner' I'm
closed stamp to be put ON the CHECK
in payment for his article. washing
ton Star.
Wife (who has the foreign language
"spasm"-"John, do you know I'm get
ting on splendidly with my French?
am really beginning to think In the
language Husband interested In his
paper)-"Is that so? Let me hear you
think a little while in French" -Oul
Dumb Animals.
First Theosophist-"Ths settles It;
resign from the society,"" Second The
osophist-"What's the matter2" Firsl
Theosophist-"Why, one of my tenants
has gone Off without paying his rent
and left me note saying he would try
to square with me In some future ex'
istence. New York Herald.
A recruit, wishing to evade service
was brought up for medical inspection
and the doctor asked him: Have you
any defectsF' Eyes, sir; I am short
sighted" "How can you prove itT
Easily enough, doctor. Do you see
that nail up yonder in the wall y
"Yes." well, l don't."-Tid-B Bits.
Mr.. Giglamps (who has been caught
by keeper with some fish In his basket
under taking size)-"Oh-er-well, you
see, fact is, my glasses-er-magnify 8
good deal. Make things look larger
than they really arev' Keeper about
to receive smaller tip than meets the
occasion)-"Ah! makes yer put down 9
shlllin' when yer means 'alf a crown
sometimes, dessay, sir"-Punch.
Hold on?' cried ire proud young
father, as he rushed down the aisle
hold on! Before the baby Is chris
tened l want to change his name.'
why" the good man asked, as he wa.
about to sprinkle the child's head
George Dewey Wildwood is a good
name isn't it7 Why should there bt
changer" II want to add little t.
it. Make 1t George Dewey Hobsor