Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-08-15

To marry me. l loved her seaux.
All. me! it was a crushing bleauX
When she replied, You BOBBY, neauX.
SO. then 1 journeyed to Cologne
To wed a girl l long had knogne
When | got there my bird had hOSne,
And /, alas. am still alOgne.
So now linger in Marseiles,
With cheerfulneSS that never fellleS-
Hopin9 that soon some faVOrlng GENES
Will put new wind into my settles.
John c.. NJ. Valentine in st. Nicholas
Thackeray loved to relate jokes on HIM
self, and he especially enjoyed one about
a Reading hackman, says London News.
The author was unacquainted with the
town, and the moment he emerged from
the railway station he told a hackney
coachman to drive him to the nearest
hotel The driver closed the door cere-
moniously. mounted his box, and then
started. In half a minute the cab was
at standstill, and Thackeray saw the
cabman at the door, bowling to him to
come out He did so without a word.
and found that he was at the portico of
the station hotel. which he had failed to
see was not a dozen yards off.
But he handed the man n shilling and
was entering the hotel, rather pleased
with his own sang froid. when he was
amazed to see the hackman taking off his
coat and offering to fight him for the
other siXDence." 1t appeared that on
that day resolution of the Reading
town council mad come into operation
empowering hackney cOachmen to charge
IS pence for any distance within the
township. This was its first fruits. 1t
is unnecessary to add that the cabman
got his money and Thackeray a good
story to tell at the clubs.
Widow Jackson-"W'y, it was like dis
way. parson My husband went up on
de hilltop to pray for rain and got struck
by lightning" Parson Johnson-"But
yo' mustn't lose faith in prayer, sister"
Widow jackson (cOmpla Gently no,
parson. Dat proves de Lord do answer
prayer. Not always in de way we ask
for it, but in way dat'n be best for all
hands. Judge.
Harry II. Porter. a Chicago drummer,
was standing at Broadway and Thirty
fourth street the other night. when he
noticed two fellows carrying on an ami
mated discussion, says the San Francisco
Argonaut. Finally they each pulled out
Il roll Of greenbacks and deposited several
Of them with a bystander, to all appear
ances a total stranger to them. The taller
of the two then approached Porter and
said: 81 just bet my friend over there
$50 that | could borrow a So bill from
you. You give me the bill-Of course we
I'll collect the $40 and give you SO of it.
You see. there can't be any CON game
about this. | just want to give my friend
a lesson. He is eternally wanting to
bet" Realizing that there was no posi-
hility for the pair to escape, Porter gave
the fellow a So bill. He took it with a
chuckle. walked over to the stakeholder.
returned and handed Porter a $40 bill
The drummer pocketed the note and be-
gan to chuckle a little himself After a
while he went back to his hotel and in
his exuberance, invited the bartender to
have drink. He paid for it with the
$40 note. and told the cashier the whole
Stqrg What hi ta do think sam about that
like it, replied the cashier; ''but you lose.
That notes counterfeit"
Gov. Roosevelt attended the recent
commencement at Cornell, and while
there was entertained at one of the col
lege fraternity houses. When he was
about to leave one of his staff said to
him: Governor. the boys have an ex-
cellent library in the house, and l think
they would appreciate it's enlargement
by copy Of your Rough Riders +"
Teddy in an outburst of good-fellow-
ship. exclaimed: ''All right, boys, I'll
be glad to send you a copy with nv COM
return indeed for your hospitality
Whereupon one of the boys replied. ex-
citedly: That's SO governor; I've read
it,
That Horrid Boy saw Miss Punch
con on her wheel just now She's a
sight! She's got legs like the legs of a
piano.
That Correct Girl-''Thomas, I'm sur
prlsed that you should talk So Wby is
Luncheon is quite limb-fatic? "-Boston
Transcript.
At Lamarque's funeral in Paris the
crowd took out Gen. Lafayette's horses.
as the famous soldier was returning home
from the service. and drew his carria 90
to his hotel with many evidences Of IA a ge
thusiastic love and admiration. The
scene was a stirring one and a friend in
referring to it some weeks afterward
said: gu must have been very much
pleased Lafayette looked at him for a
moment IN silence, and then said, with a
whimsical smile: Eyes, [ was very much
pleased-very much pleased, indeed. But
never saw anything more of my horses.
my dear friend!'
clever sayings have been appearing in the
papers Il never think of England he
is quoted as having said on one occasion.
without being reminded of a burglar
with a white necktie." When he was on
his first visit to the Pacific coast he was
shown through the depths of the Com
stock mines and as he came ont he