The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-11-24
BURGLARS TRIED
FOR THEIR LIVES
Andrew Brown and John Bowler are
Bad Robbers.
JUSTICE JOHN GETS GOOD NEWS.
George Smith Takes n Snapshot nj
Charlie Ross that Came Near Hit
ting the Cocoanut - Moses
Daniels Bad Fix.
JUSTICE JOHN GETS GOOD NEWS,

Justice John has been working along
for the last ten days like an ocean Grey
hound with one propeller blade gone
keeping up the schedule but at a ire
mendous disadvantage and much anxiety
But all his old air Of confidence had re-
turned Yesterday and he looked as happy
when he opered his morning mall as
sixteen year Old boy with his first love
letter. 1t stated that the Prime Min
lister" would be home in the morning.
JOLLY AUTOCRAT
The Jolly autocrat who rules over the
destinies Of one hundred thousand people
in Richmond and one-fourth as many
more in one mile OF the city limits, when
he chooses to take jurisdiction. was as ilVe-
ly as cricket at the news ana ready
10 argue any subject from the cause o.
the increase in gas bills TO the pest SHIPS
for the United States Navy.
He gesticulated tin he split his coat IN
der the arm pits and shook his fore-hnser
til IL vibrated like an electric buZzer ana
took exercise enough II properly applied
to split the kindling for his winter fires.
He liz on TO Moses Daniel like a duck
on a June bug Moses was meek ac-
rording 70 his name but he had COM
mitted the objectionable sin
ROWED AT HOME.
Moses had taken a drop too much ana
"rowed" with the old woman at home
The said old woman would make Two
Of Moses and when discovered by the OF
acer was In the middle of the street In
her night gown pasting the man OF com
pound biblical names over the head WIN
a Ratchet
Moses had several burrows in his scrag-
civ scalp where the dull edge of tne
Ratchet was vainly welded against mis-
nickel-steel. armor-plated skull and MS
rugged cheek ana colloused hands sho"eu
marks of the blade
The old lady and her TWO kinky-head-
ed girls swore Moses pulled his razor on
the wife and that he struck her.
sHANT STRIKE EN-.
"You shant strike EN-" said the Great
Dispenser, declaring his fixed policy on
this question OF maltreating women Tor
the thousanth time. IF the thermometer
gets too high at home you can leave put
you shant hit a woman as long as my
heads hot" and he brought his closed hsl
the glass tumbler rattle against the
water pitcher and a fountain TO spring
from the top Of the ink stand.
Moses was fined the usual fine Tor
striking a woman so and meek!y went TO
jail
Join Rice also appeared before the
wire edge of the Great Dispensers ire
had been worked down 10 safe point
and came In for generous dose OF razzle
dazzle
John Rice was charged with begging
on the street. John has a sawed off leg
and gets his chief power OF locOmotiOn
from crutch and his living by his wits.
FRED GRUB.
John could not be induced to lay claim
to any industry or enterprise but frankly
admitted that he got his grub by beg
ging.
It's against the Great Dispensers prin-
clples to punish a cripple II It can be
helped and John was released on promise
TO seek other fields and pastures new
Martha Jeffrles, alias Black, was charg-
ed with making felonious assault on
Sarah James with an iron 1obsr. II
PROVED 70 10 . fghs IN which saeh he