New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-11-07

THE TiLK or THE DAY.
Tennessee noonshlner writes thus from jail 10
a friend
"Rnl The Government hayin fen foul O me.
am in here to stay while an bein here. want TO
Inc as comfortable as possible. Sen me my hddle'
nv two clay pipes the Songs Of Zion three gal
Ions o. corn liquor an Bunyan's pilgrims Prog
ress' An. BILL keep the OIL still a-goin I'll KIN
tackle her ag'in'
BACK TO THE ARMY AGAIN"
rDescrter= from both the army and navy continue ".
TO give themselves up. ~ ordcr 10 Uo I',a' ''" ~
Nh, VIM - hem come from foreign countries. IN
Gliding the United states The Tribune Nov. 81
a DrsrRrrR FROM THE ENGLISH ARMY TO HIS
NEW YORK EMPLOYER. OCTOBER 9. 1891
"Bnt tell yer Il read. JIultlmatum
MY Cord, Ioom Paul eyn't got no nerveo
Nv ply? sly the month? Strike me deau' s'r'
I'm no clcrkn' Militia Reserve
".Not respectful? I axes yer parding.
Yer can see darn't know were I'm at;
But gort to get back 20 the reg ment'
An aforc r. leaves Lunnon at that
There's cattle tramp sann' to-morrer'
can feed for my keep an the pun
They throws In treats the mess fio I've tramp'' i'
Il sneaked ortcr Bristol In oneD
Then I'll put FOR n Liverpool o'aN' Sir
An % won't be long secln WAITS wrong
Ell sentence me back 70 the colors'
An my sergeant n take mo along
THE Colonel 'o'n damn me- a-winkin''
I'll get c. p. n kt-ccann' time.
But the transports avytln' at Southamtlng pier
An III ply IN the Transvaai gyme'
ARTHUR H. MFARLANE.
Tho Sure Loser-"Aren't you afraid the laT VIII
toi.e us in hand for gambling?' said The tmid man
who had just been persuaded into MAKING d" e'7-
"xever mind. answered the confident politi,i,an1,
Even # II does you're all right. Ihg% Wo 9 ION"
You TO the insane asylum "-CWash!ngton star
The Paris Automobile Club occupies gorgeous
cinffo,,so on tho Place de Ia Concorde formerly
the Hotel De Plessls Bclliere. The ground hoor
NAV be entered with vehicles by the porte cochere
and IN the rear are places FOR their storage WIN
a corps OF mechanics 10 look after them ana make
repairs when necessary. Two large stancaSeS ie'"
10 the. second floor IN which are vesubule' par
lors dining rooms. bathrooms and large galleries
suitable for exhibitions. The third story contains
the reception rooms and those used Or fe'es'
banquets. congresses and general assemblies IN
the fourth story are the rooms 81 the committee
Offices library etc. and In the fifth the BILLIARD
dining rooms and kitchen.
~Nor declared Nj wmanng II iha ,.J not re- pay
s. for the privilege ~ taking you 20 me near
o~d,rarv plav IS worth s. 50 n seat"
but John" his wife replied you lsed 10 ,nhe e
mo 50 often You didn't seem 70 think s. ~ a seat
Wa lila d"at talk nonsense We can ST just as
nCqr f0e.tnor az home now as Il is posslnic 70 III
the most cr1mped theatre IN Town -N0'''''7'
Times-Herald.
4 story was recently sent from Orrngton. Ne.
abou, the finding Of mysterious skeleton. one
or two Of the great papers ~ the world says
The Konrcbcc Journal" swallowed every "oHe
NJ H. NOW r. is said that r. Is perfectly true that
the bones We're found-the bones II skeleton.
II was a skeleton for fair They were found under
some tlmhers The timhers We're IN orrngton.
Thus the only missing link IS the man who years
ago killed the PIG that owned the bones that lay
i'm the hole under the house that the correspondent
dreamed about
Bingle-wen ola boy bow are you getting aionsF
jingle 1struqelag m5rchann-A little. I've sue
ceoaed in reducing expenses about 80 week
That's encouraging How 40 you 40 T. ~,
Married my typewriter 'New-fork Weekly
Russian official corruption exceeds that Of Tam
many I'm extent and completeness Of organization
bur when IT'S agents are found out they are gem
orally sent 10 Siberia instead OF getting off as the
lVipwarn thief manages TO DO. Vice Admiral Tyr
ton Of the Russian Navy. has just unear'Aed
huge conspiracy for plumber ar Seoastopol ana
arrested forty-three Government officials some or
high rank: AMI such Of them As DO not commit
suicide I'm the interval. as several have already
done will be tried by court martial In December
their conviction and punishment being quite sure
TO follow I'm "a few years. according to Russian
precedents I'm like cases. their successors wH IN
wife the Investigation Of some succeeding Nice-Ad-
r,ral not tarred with the same stick. and viii fol-
low the present detachment TO Siberia
Scansion once upon n time poet through IN
fortunate speculAtiOns upon the Bourse, became
exceedingly prosperous. and hts head being turned
ate three meals per day right along thereafter
In consequence BE- grew In grin until ne c"Hiu
not So, his lower eXtremitits
Alas he observed one day 70 his encourage
what were sadter than poet WHO cannot scan
h. own feet J., 1900,
10 be a poet and fast sinking INTO the mere
humorist-(Detroit Journal
The Waycross GA HERALD remarks: The
Niger who stole a roll OF mating and a buggy
harness from tle Editor Of The Herald during his
absence in Maine had better bring en- back. We
know his entitloments and Wei surely bring him
10 time"
The pilgrim dd not conceal the compassion he
felt. ,
iOI our soil makes an excellent sandhag' pro-
tested dark. sinister inhahifant regarding the
other NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Journal