Keowee courier. [volume] (Pickens Court House, S.C.) 1849-current, 1899-02-09
SOME PEN PICTURES.
A Galaxy OF H0meliness In the State
House.

1t is indeed pleasure for homely
man to visit our State capital, since
the newly elected officers have gono
into power, for ho IS made to fael
happy, at home and handsome. To
Judge from the faces Of the public
servants whom the people have se-
lected to serve them for tho next
two years, stranger would think
that our voters had either gotten
them out of grab-bag or selected
them in the dark. We are told that
"beauty unadornod is most adorned"
but it would be q difficult undertak-
ing to impair the looks of those Off
cials by too much adornment. In
fact, if you could encase their heads
in corn sack it would bo decided
improvement. We have oil heard of
the homely fellow whose face would
scare locomotive off tho track.
have never met that ungainly indivi-
dual, but feel assured if he was ex-
hibitcd alongside our Governor, Sec
retary of State, and last; hnt far from
least, our State Treasurer, that he
could pass among art critics for the
model from which the statue of
Apollo was carved, and be looked
upon as thing Of beauty and a joy
forever. / do not believe that the
Creator of mankind has any special
grievance against South Carolina,
but when our worthy body of State
officers wero being manufactured, all
the good looks material had been
used up AID only some ragged and
Jagged ends were left over. AS a
consolation TO we homely mortals it
is said that "beauty is only skin
deep" But this certainly don't ap-
ply to our friends in the State house,
for you might skin them down into
the bone without reaching tho seat Of
their ugliness. 1t is just born in
them, and you might run them
through bark mill and it couldn't
be ground out. They would just
have to be moulded over again.
Not being endowed with angelic
beauty myself, l feel l have a right
to comment on other peoples looks,
and that am critic on homeliness.
But when I do enter our State capi-
tol, and pay my respects to the
officers, I always return to the hotel
with smiling face, and spend o de-
lightful hour in admiring my classic
features in mirror. 1t is like gag
ing upon some lovely landscape from
o mountain top, after ascending
through a rough and rugged wilder
ness. We have all heard of the
pockct-knife presented to the homely
fellow, with the command that when
he found an uglier man than him
self, to turn it over. Now, did the
owner of the knife chance to visit
Columbia, and call at our State house,
he would be mystifed as to tho right
full ownership, there would be 80
many worthy claimants. Every style
OF homelincss is there represented,
and it would take microscopic in
vestigation to decide between the
different contestants.
Let us first take our friend, his Ex-
cellency. Governor Ellcrbe has an
open, honest face and pleasing coun-
tenance. But there his attractions
end. Tho Good Book tells us that
man was created from the dust of the
earth. OF course this is true. But
to gaze into our Governors face, one
is led to believe that before the dust
got thoroughly dry a dirt dauber
came along and worked it over in all
kinds of fantastic shapes. In fact, a
sculptor could take a dull meat axe
and chunk of wood and in an hour
hcw out a most admirable image of
tho chief executive of tho old Pal
motto State. 1t was said OF Joseph
E. Brown, of Georgia, that he looked
like an old rebuilt tcn-rail fence,
stalked and ridored. Well, this
would apply to Governor Ellerbe, if
two rails were taken from that fence
and some of the stakes and riders re-
moved.
But our Governor is by no means
vain of his looks, which is accounted
for from the fact that he ALWAYS
keeps a looking-glass in his office.
How it has escaped being sbivered
into thousand pieces is mystery
unexplained. 1t must be piece OF
polished steel armor. If Uncle Sam
could have the component parts of
tho mirror that hangs in tho Cover
nor's Office analyzcd, we could have
coating for our war-ships that q
thunder-bolt couldn't phaze or don't
Just across the hall wo find our
now Secretary of State, M, II. Cooper