Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1899-04-13

MISS mary, are you sorry tudt youA
sister Evelyn Is marriedT "No; II adj
vances me one number."-Chicago Rec
ord. rss4.
YES" he said, "when was young I
was eagerly sought after" "What re-
ward was offered" asked the sweet
young girl. - rrrsfi
She-ThIs Is too much! won't bear
It any longer! Tomorrow shall re-
turn to my mother! He-My dear-ls
that Threaten a promise?
"Uncle, what bred of chickens Is the
best" well, sab, de white ones Is de
mo- easiest found, and de dahk ones Is
de easiest hid arter yo' gets 'em."-In-
dianapolis Journal.
First cook (reading)-Wanted, to 60
to Connecticut. a frst-class cook. Good
wages Second cook-Niver on yer loife.
Sure. isn't that where they make alarum
clocks?-Jewelers' Weekly.
II hear that you assisted at the post
norton examination of your old enc
N.Y." said Gaswell to surgeon Of his
acquaintance. Eyes; cut him dead
Pittsburg Chronicle Telegraph.
Mrs. Hornbeak What is this game of
golf that's In the papers so much, any
how? Farmer HornbeakY wal. so fur
as l kin make out It's nothin' but
kind Of solitaire croquet.--Puck.
"Have you given Mr.. ,lealeight any
encouragement" asked the impatient
mother. "No mamma" replied the con-
fident daughter; so far I haven't found
1t ary."-Brooklyn Life. r q
Mrs. Dash--How dreadful about your
uncle drowning himself In your bath
tub! Mrs. Cash-Yes; wasn't 1t hard?
1t scared the cook SO that we had to
move into another house Immediately.
Mrs. Naborly-Is your aunt on your
mothers or fathers side, Johnny?
Johnny-Oh, sometimes on one side and
sometimes on the other. Depends on
who's getting the best of it.-Brooklyn
Life.
Angy New-Yes, quareled with the
the company sided with him. resign
ed. Sue Brette-But didn't anyone take
your part? Angy New-Only my under
study.-Town Topics.
"Mr. Gizzley seems to be very deep
thinker" remarked the impressi0nable
young woman. YES" replied Miss
Cayenne; "he can't talk five minutes
without getting away beyond his
depth" -Washington Star.
what! A man with nose the color
has lived on water for three months"
said the lady at the door. "Yes'm," said
the tramp; you see, I'm sailor just
ashore. "-Yonkers Statesman.
Cripple Greek is great on etiquette. A
man out there met a little girl with
whose family he is very intimate, and
said: "Hello, Edith! How are you"
The little miss drew herself up and re-
piled: Use very well. but amt no tel
ephone"-Hotel Reporter.
who lives in that little shanty
across the street," THAT Is where
Meterkin, the celebrated poet, lives"
"Ah! And who lives in yonder mansion
on the hill?" THAT is the home of q
fellow who once wrote some fool verses
of a popular song."-Cleveland Leader.
Miss Smart-Oh. yes; we had a lovely
time at the ball, Dr.-Dr.-Dr.--oh,
dear, always forget your last name.
DR.. Smythe (patronizingly modest
Oh, never mind! just call me simple
doctor" Miss Smart tquickly,--AI
right, simple doctor. tTotal collapse OF
Smythe. Judge.
He-What sort of a footstool was
that you gave your husband? She
What are you talking about? didn't
give him any footstool. gave him
a beautiful hand-worked cover for the
mantelpiece. He-Oh, that was it.
know he told me it was something he
could put his feet on.-Yonkers States
man.
This here last war;" remarked the
old lady, "has been n blessin' to my
family; Johns drawin' of big pension
fer one ear an three fingers; the ole
mans writin' a war history; Moll's en-
gagged to sergeant; an Jennie's gwine
to marry Teller that come within an
ace of bein' a ginrulv'-Atlanta Consti-
tuition.
Deacon Hardacre-And so you seen
that ere spectacle show that they're all
talkin' about, did you? Elder Nipper-
son-Yep. Deacon Harda cre--How did
you come to do 1t, Ligei Elder Nipper-
son-Well. RUDE Handy, he said 1t
wasn't fit for decent person to look at.
and I wanted to find ont whether he
knowed or not. I've always had my
suspicious Of Rube.-Cleve,and Leader.
Boatswain ito newly Joined Cadet
Come. my little man, you mustn't cry
on board of one of her Majesty's ships
of war. Did your mother cry when you
left? Cadet-Yes. sir. Boatswain-Silly
old woman! And did your sister cry?
Cadet-Yes, sir. Boatswain-Stupid lit
tie thing. And did your father cry?
Cadet-No, sir. Observation-Disclosures
ed old beggar!-Punch. iigyl
There is cat sits every night on our
back fence" he explained to the law
yer. "and he yowls. and yowls, and
yowls. Now, don't want to get into
any trouble with my neighbor. but
would like to know II I am not justified
In putting a stop to it." Certainly"
replied the lawyer. IL am well within
my rights II shoot the cat. Them" he
IL. H.xll n