Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1899-08-22
SPINNING WHEEL.

\
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
BILL AND Me.
There was brother Bill and ne, we was
In the fin fine '4 balque , Obadiah of North
We was known by all the crew to love each
And we never told a story nor a naughty
lie, not we.
We was somewhere off the Pole, where we'd
gone to pick up coal,
When Bill was took a-sudden with very
bay scurvey;
SO he laid down on his side, and very quiet
~ died.
Said the captain: Lets consign him to
the bottom CT the sea"
Then they sewed him in his berth, and he
said goodby to earth
When they took and hove him over side
our gallant little barque,
While | stood and piped my eye. the crew
For we saw him Siding Wholesale down
the mouth of a big shark.
That was more nor I could stand, so, AWAY
ing O my hand,
I jumped, and followed William into that
hungry shark;
But when 1 got inside l could ha' sat and
cried
For I hadn't get no matches, and the
place was awful dark.
SO | cuts into Bits bed, and his pockets
tries instead
When he ups and gives grumble, and
bleSseS both my eyes,
When l told him he was dead, he said he'd
punch my head,
A-picking of his pockets, and a-telling Of
him lies.
l soon found he wasn't dead, but only fruz
instead,
And the shark it thawed him quickly, for
soon he was quite we'll
Then a roaring fire we lit, and we roasted
shark a bit,
And that shark he got quite hungry, SO
delicious was the smell.
When we couldn't eat no more, we thought
we'd go ashore.
SO we goes and cuts a hatchway in the
middle Of it's back:
And bride then we geared, and then the
shark we Steered
Down South for New York city, in less nor
half a crack.
Why, go to New York City, and ask Nj
Barnum there;
For he bought that shark, did he, which
any one may see,
And Bill and me is always known as such
truthful pair.
-Pick-M e-Up Of London
Mr. D. of Boston, visiting in one Of
the small towns Of western Massachu-
sets, was taking spin shortly after his
arrival, when he was run down (as he
claimed) by a negro and knocked off his
bicycle. When he got on his feet again
he was so angry that he picked up q
stone and threw it with accurate aim at
the colored man and brother. This re-
suited in his arrest and conviction in the
local court Of justice. Il viii fine You
to say?' Nothing" replied d, molli-
fed, except that l wish / had killed the
fellow That remark will cost you So
more" rejoined his honor. D-'s tenn
per was not improved by this fresh dis
pensation Of justice. Conversation
seems to come high in this court" he OBJ
served Five dollars for contempt, "
promptly responded the bench; have you
anything more to say?' L think not,
answered the defendant; you have the
advantage of me ia repartee." Payment
of the fine closed the case.
Miss Jackson-"So yo' don't fink Mis-
tab Johnson viii be Il success benin de
batE'
err am expected to run like de dickens
an, catch foul; but Johnson am in de
habit Of catchin' de fowl first an dem
runnin' like de dickens Judge.
If one of these small boys doesn't turn
out to be a diplomat it will be once when
the natural bent has nothing to do with
the case, remarks the New York Sun.
AS to the other small boy, he may be
too honest to succeed. They are in the
country and one day when they were
hungry between meals with the sim
pie belief that they wouldn't know the
difference, two very dry pieces of cake
We're given to them to enjoy, which they
promptly proceeded not to do. They waited
till they were alone or thought they
were, when the following conversation
too place:
L don't like this"
Nor me neither"
I don't dast throw it away for they
might ask US. | tell you, you just shut
your eyes and I'll throw yours away, and
then I'll shut mine and you throw this
one away.
At the first opportunity the honest bow
tried to make matters still better Ny
cakes all gone he said: 4 didn't throw
it away. and" well pleased with the
cleyerness Of their scheme-''I didn't see
Willie when he done it,
Eminent Statesman-"Put these memo
randa into the form of an interview and
send it to all the papers. If it is well
received, | will interview myself again.
and say that | am glad to see the public
agrees with me-
Private Secretary-"But suppose it is
not we'll received
Eminent Statesman-'Then | will say
that no reporter called on me, and that