The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1899-01-28
~ Any CHANG ES.
What Would Happen Were a W oman
Elected President.


would be selected on the installment
plan, and probably consist of: Secre-
tary of state. Reginald De Koven: SEC
retaI'F Cf treasury. J. WalGe,re Kirk:
~'--''"t...-. III war, Mary L. Lease; sec-
= a. u! navy, IsicGard L. Ho0~UE:
SO, ii! III Interior, Madamc Ia:r:
~. t.r If agricultut,-. that gifted
.-s.'..- -is-:. Eddie II. Box: post
...,..-g'.r = ..erai. Lillian Russell, owing
10 her rar,ed expe' ;ence with the
la"ils: attorney general, George ".
Warder, in return for u political
rhapsody reeled of in praise Of the
peerless presidentcess.
y new neutrality-suspicious.. of
fashiOns-will be asked for. with
Nellie bly, or Ruth Ashm0re. No. >,
booked for it.
During this ItOpiaI period ali fed
crai prisoners, osuch as !nn,Cerer>
train robbers and ceuntcrfei'-.s. will
be pardoned Il they happen u ha par
ticularly GOOD leoEing. i'jnA teas
Will be substituted for tn. H. at wiilre-
house cvceptio15. The WUu;:ns
Monthly, OF Washington. s::il brculue.
H.. ott;c;aa. y"gan of the - iministr;,-
ujpn.
Fer ug"s>aece Will be 7:it;et. van
violet ink GA rose-tini,.! pa per IN /
finally -,ncirolsd with dailty blue .i''-
huns and sprayed ut,h perfugra.
Trusts viii be vigorously attscss-i.
7 ne Er'w Chicago ice ctr am trust Y Ill
be wsrmed TIP. The hosiery and IL ar
ter isas. viii be rOas&si for making
thoss Things come hirnar The Cor
set 1":us: wil also be z ven q te.sS1 of
his% lifa The ~sug..r trus!, icing ID
sweet ;hiE@. ana ih@ cOntiGIE2 fy,,e-
wS,:t5f test viii b@ let ai0us- -. e
uit SSag- will recommend that p9-st;t.rrt.
Pr inled IN ditfera: colors- There
a92er 'tSe stamp r2sS- match ttIs color
~ the. iIy1 on the lett. or tn = iesive
will 0c sent to the dead lettar"' Office
.-.hereaser know as the postal
1mor@u2.' The pss Office t<gpt rtrnent
will h@ Instructed o insert tEr WorG
i"'pcet.sT for ''rssail' whfmer er the
.;atter occurs. Protection a-ill he
praised and the infant lmiustries
highi, encouraged. it Will '5e su@-
gesteG that a few regiments % female
soldiers. viviaA4 res. b. 'c~cruileG,
and Gre of them stationed a. Kansas
City. They Will oc already aoEbfio5 -
familiar with po@ der and balls.
Congress viii De requestsi to re-
move the liberty zap from tne Goddess
of Liberty Oh the capitol and substi-
tute 'trerefor al OrgeOus pisture hat
to -giTe it he e-oper tone. Also to
repain, the Goddess Il beautiful rob-
in 's-esg blue and tint iner >cheeks a
rich B{nk coIor. Congress will be
told tEat the we:ghtiest problem be-
fore. tae nation is the selection of a
natlOnal flower the Various states
having adopted different = aarieties,
such As the daisy, rose, violet, colum-
bine, golden roi, pansl suntiower,
etc. a heavy ta:-, on a rising scale.
acce:d ding to age. on al bachelors
over 30 will be 4Itronly recommended.
Expansion, insofar as it applies 70
womans rights, privileges and sala-
ries viii be warzaly endorsed. No
imp0a: duty On sealskins'@ will be
.uggested.
Thee will, az course, be a post
script In it C:ioa, Porto E.ico, the
Philippines. Hawaii. the fna mes. pen
sions. the tariff land 0tbe, trifing
natte.s-' will bc briefly discussed and
dismissed.
When the reading of this Tariega-
i~d d0r8ment is finished, Senator Hoar
sill Ge:yously arite and dramatically
eXclaim: Great Scott. my usefulness
is ended and my constitutional pre-
negatives are gone, | care not to
lire longer" Ard then he will drop
dead,