Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-06-03
FUNNY FOREIGNERS.
AND THE WAY THE ENGLISH LAM
GUAGE TIES THEM UP.

When 1t Comes to AngIo-Saxon 1t
Is Very Hard For Them to Say
What They Mean.
When a foreign tongue essays to
adapt itself to the intricacies Of the
English language, curious blunders
often follow, either in word use or ar
fangement of idiom. In police court
not very long since an interpreter was
asked whether the prosecutor could
speak English. and his own small ac
quaintance with our language was at
once apparent when he answered amid
loud laughter. HE spik only a leetle
drop" To him there was little differ
ence between a "bit" and drop"
and it must have appeared just as suit
able to treat language as liquid as it
was to consider it solid.
Asked whether he knew certain per-
son, a foreign witness cried excitedly,
with many expressive shrugs: II know
him ultimately" (that is, Intimately
.Iong time while since, and now have
always the pleasant of his acknowledge"
acquaintance.
A Dutch porter in Amsterdam prided
himself upon his thoroughly know"
of English. as he gleefully told an Eng
lish traveller who could not understand
much of his talk. Asked to be careful
of the portmanteau, he said: Sitting
lie'' (probably "certainly") II am
take the very sorrowful care of dis. -
The one word ''sourd'' in French
means, of course. in English, either
"heavy" or dull or ''deaf, and it is
a continual stumbling block to French
folk striving to acquire English. This
explains why Frenchman, noted for
his really good English, could perceive
no blunder in his remark when he call
ed his valet very deaf fellow, mean
ing he was dull, for the man was sharp
enough of hearing. A French lady. too,
made the same mistake when referring
to the very deaf pain she had in her
head, caused by the excessive deaf
ness of the atmosphere.
To mistake veterinary surgeon for
a ventriloquist was curious blunder
made by Frenchman, who got con-
fused with the spelling of the two
words, it is to be presumed. He called
on veterinary surgeon. and under. the
impression that he was ventriloquist
gave him his card and requested that
he would attend at his house to give
performance at a small party he was
having that evening
"You will be cheer to the very ru-
NOR (echo), monsieur. he said
pleasantly. Come den at de pointed
hour, vich is seek of de clock.
The veterinary surgeon with difficult
ty made his visitor understand that
he was not ventriloquist at all. but
surgeon.
"a Sir John" exclaimed the French
man, profuse in apology at once. ga
knight, or barrow's knight, sare, are
your Pardon. l make meestake. Sir
john" with a low bow. 81 see de
name ventreelekeest on de plateua of de
door. You are Sir John Ventreelokeest,
I perceive, and mix up de name with
de vacation" (vocation).
And for some time the amused surg
con was unable to make the foreigner
comprehend how matters stood.
81 have one very vanished friend
who have de wish to be made know to
you" said another Frenchman to an
English acquaintance. His circumfer-
ence are beneath just at de present. but
all de same he have not lose one mouth
full of his once varnish'' (that is, pol
ish).
81 will not ration" (allow) "you
more to make one simple goose vat you
call fool of me, for all your silly sense
(that is, nonsense), was the vexed
speech of a foreigner who vowed he
had been cheated at cards and declared
he would certainly call in contest
able (cGastable).
81 have live in de country amongst
all de pretty savage flowers until I be-
come also veget BILE dere, " said lady
whose English was vague. "Only de
little savage bird sang and de savage
daisy grow down dere, SO return. "
The word ''sauvage, by the way,
dpplleS eQudlly W Wiiu anu cav
age" There is no subtle distinction be-
tween the two as with us. There is
scarcely an English speaking French
man anywhere who has not similarly
got mixed up with this innocent look
ing word.
1.-The wind blow vairy cold. 1t give
me one guitar in de nose. was the
funny remark of French maid to a
fellow servant, who understood that she
meant "catarrh. -
''Two very great atoms are gone
walking oeut of dis list. cried a
Frenchman. who was examining the
items in an inventory of his furniture.
81 shall be ruin if l knee below you in
dis way. You have varnish" ii. e., van
ished) 1.-TWO articles of my possess. l
cannot let you cut my wool SO" fleece
me. Boston Traveller