The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1899-12-26
AN UNLOVED WIFE THE MOST
MISERABLE OF GODS CREA-
TURES.
THE sCANr COSTUME WENT OUT WITH EVE
The Goat of Skins" Which the Lord Made For
Eve Came Farther Up Over the
Shoulders Than is Now the
F ashton.

Ting, 10ur COUSINS OF US. ana spoke on tile
beauty of another cousin, of whom one
of us knew more than the rest.
''Yes, she is very pretty indeed, when
she is dressed to be seen, but she isn't
pretty one bit at home"
Indeed! Why 500"
''Why, she dresses so shabbily all the
time She skews her hair up in Il little
hard knot, without crlmps or bangs, and
wears old, faded, calico wrappers, with
out collars, belts or cravats, and rusty
leather shoes, either minus half of their
buttons, or laced with white cotton
strings"
How shockilgly untily and careless -
Eyes, that is exactly what is the mat
ter, and it is perfectly ineXcusable, too,
for she not only has a plenty of nice
things, but her father and brothers are
perfectly devoted to her, and admire her
appearance SO much that they are always
quarrelling with her for going about
home SO badly gotten up
The conversation dIifted into other
channels; but l began to reflect ON what
had been said, and it all struck me as
very unfair; i'm this way-a pretty girl
daintily attired, the pink of neatness
from bangs to boot heels goes out for
inspection and conquest.
She conquers-the victim of her charms
visits her at home, and finds the same
dainty refinement and neatness charac-
teriZing her at all times wherever he sees
her.
He possibly doasn'+ think abodt it in
detail, because the harmonious whole
suits him so perfectly that he could only
graa S,Irp if Iy tho resynrSn
But, when he mawies and the
novelty wears off with her. what then
Why, then comes into view the old ha-
Ritual untidiness; but with this diff
ference--there is now husband to
be disenchanted by it. and that ought
to be a risk that no sensible woman
would be willing to take for her own
sake. The lovers status is in no whit
changed because he is husband-i1f-
deed there is a certain amount of olsen
chantment insepa1nble from the inti-
macy of married life: and a married wo-
man, for her own sake, should take addi-
t;onal pains to please the eyes that see
her daily, and in so seeing, through habi-
tude grow oblivious of some of her
charms.
But the untidy girl is the untidy wife,
and the husband gets disenchanted very
speedily and being disappointed, natural
" loses his loveflike ardor; and then my
lady feels the change, and thinks Bit
terly that all men are alike, tickle and
;nconstant; and that husbands and lovers
are very different creatures; and never
once reflects that sweethearts and wives
are different also.
I said it was all very unfair to the
man; he married a pretty, tidy, becom-
ingly dressed woman-that was what
he fell in love with, and therefore, pre-
sumably was his style of woman.
If she proves to be slatternly and I'M
tidy, then he was swindled; that was
not the sort of woman he fell in love
with and thought he was marrying; and
the reaction of feeling is natural and
jllstifable. A woman-I mean the aver
age honest-hearted woman--once mar
r;ed, has her happiness indissoubly
bound up in her husbands love.
He can get on we'll enough without
being specially fond o. his wife, for ne
has other interests and occupations: and
is out of his house the greater part of
every day; but she living at home, and
generally with but few interests outside
of it, what is her chance of happiness
If her husband does not love her? Disen-
chantment is naturally followed by diSre-
gard il not disgust; and no one has a
right to say it is hard ON her, because
it is q thing that she could prevent. 1T
is hard On the husband-crlelly hard, for
lie cannot help it, he cannot remake
his wife--his untidy, ugly, slatternly wife
into the woman he loved; he has lost
her hopelessly, and he is tied for life
to what he did not choose, nor iHtend to
marry, so he has not only the bitterness
Of loss and disappointment. but added TO
it the consciousness that he was Tlas-
led, and did not get what he bargained
for.
/ have seen lovely looking brides de-
generate into such stringy, addressed
unclean. frowsy looking wives in less
than half q dozen years, thai had they
been wives of mine | would have walk
ed out of the house and stayed out OF
it. too.
just try the experiment, young la
dies, of habitHal, infexible neatness
from head to foot, plenty of hot water
and soap, and plenty of clean ra'ment.
1t need not be oun hit fine, but it must
be clean, meat and becoming-clot all
neatly monded, no ragged elbows, ripped
seams, buttonless boots and ragged
gloves.
Keep your room and bureau drawers
always in order, and my word for at
your husband will be your lover long
after the first years of married life have
flown. And If you are not as meat and
clean as q wife as you Were as a sweet
heart, then do assert that you deceived
HIM. You married him under false col
ors. You are not what he fell i'll love
with. and you have no right to complain
if ne feels towards you as If you were