Mexico weekly ledger., 1899-08-31

fe REX OENi 4. FONEs
sA~as~@o- c-a4~4
but the Judge shook bis fat sides with
glee and voted for Johns school. l
shall never forget a sentence or two
of that speech, and they are samples OF
the whole performance.
Gentlemen" said the great and only
John, this school Is kept up for the
benefit Of a set OF the loyeliest female
girls that the world eyer saw" The
peroration was particularly good and
has In II the favor OF an exhortation
at an old fashioned camp meeting,
where the pioneer circuit rider used to
make his audience imagine that they
could hear the ancient literal brim-
stone hell seething and bubbling. Here
1t Is:
"Mr. Speaker, this city has been en-
~tertained for the last week or two by
the Woman's Council, composed Of wo-
men earnestly striving for the proper
recognition Of their sex, and / do not
believe there is q member Of this house
who is base enough to say No to this
proposition. II such there be, let him
go out from here scorned by women,
Stunned by men and dashed by his own
conscience. Gentlemen, this congress
is about to expire. Many OF you are
about to retire from public life. Some
Of you are a little short on m~eritorious
deeds here. 1 give you this chance to
do this gracious thing and to crown
your careers with a vote in favor OF
this proposition, which viii make you
not only proud Of yourselves, but earn
for you the plaudits Of Well done
from the American people. Mr.. Speak
er. some Of the members may want to
know where this institute is located.
II is in the beautiful city Of Columbus,
on the banks Of the Tombigbee river,
but to make II more definite It Is about
10 miles south OF Tupelo. and Of course
you all know where Tupelo is"
II Is n OF the sights Of Washington
to see the great humorist on a Sunday
morning, dressed in somber black save
a flaming red necktie, his head crown
ed with n shining "stove pipe hat and
an Oxford Bible in his hand, walking
down Pennsylvania avenue. serious as
a college OF bishops, to participate in
the services at DR.. Powers Garfield
Memorial church. for John is . Camp
beIlite," with decidedly liberal tenden-
cies.
Aliens Funniest Speech.
His most elaborate humorous speech
was delivered in the house during our
tempest in a teapot quarrel with
poor little Chile, when General Harri-
son sent a message to congress which
discounts any pronunciamento ever IS
sued by a South American revolution
list John came forward with q propo-
sition TO enlarge the committee on for
eign affairs to IS members and in sup
port thereof delivered In Grafton which
for rich and sustained humor has new.
er been surpassed and which placed its
author among the really great humor-
lists Of the world. To be appreciated II
must be read in its entirety. 1t would
do the whole tribe OF owls a lot Of good
to learn It by heart.
He win joke with anybody from
president to bootblack.
The following anecdote Of Allen
shows the bent Of his mind and his
modus operandi: One day q polite ne
gro with a large eye expressive Of a
natural TOW Of language and a face as
black as a ravens wing wanted to see
Allen and sent in his card at the west
lobby door. In due course Of time the
member stepped out. He cast a pierc-
ing look at the sender Of the card, who
approached him with an obsequious
bow. holding his hat in his hand.
'sah," said the colored man, with a
bland smile, Il is one Of yuh constitu-
ents. Brown is my namAHiram
Brown, sab"
"Ah," said the congressman, bow
ing stifiy, what can ! do for you'll"
well, sab" said the darky, II
wants to git a goy'ment position, sab,
IL yuh win kindly lend me yuh yalyible
assistance, and I came all the way 70
Washington to see yuh about It, sab"
"oh, indeedl Under the civil service
or whatr'
Il doan't kyah, sab, whether it's I'M
der de sahvice or not. fist 30 I git a
good and reliable appointment, sab,
whah l can suppote myself wild becom-
in dignity"
do you know anything about as
traphysiology. meteorology, concholo-
gy or biology? Can you go back to the
paleozolc age and demonstrate in tech
nical Technology the agthropology,
fauna or zoology Of that epoch7 Can
you disseet the ~petrodaetyl or the
ichthyosaurns or prepare a scientific re
past Of n Of the paehyderms Of the
glacial period7 Can you reconstruct
for the ediGeation OF a profound pro
fessor Of bugology the bibative sauri-
ans that were seen by early navigators
in the dim dawn Of the braken ageT"
The darky stepped two PAGES to the
rear and stared.
Il say, can you do these things or
hand on cross examination without
drawing a breath or stopping to
thlnkT' continued Allen. eff not, 20
tolA y gVAA AAHAAANA anu pray LUZ the
return Of another era Of Democratic
sovereignty with q president pledged
to the repeal OF the civil service act"
Hiram had been listening with open
mouth establishment and a look that
settled into IN expression Of deep awe;
the sweat broke upon his ebony coun-
tenance. He slowly pulled 4 red ban
danna from bis coattall pocket and
wiped his reeking brow as the con
gresham paused
"I-I-guess, sah." be stammered,
with an embarrassed smile creeping
back into his face; Il guess. sab, dem
queshuns Is specially intended fob
young cullud pussons dat hab got dar
eddicashun 10 n college. l was bawn
too soon"
And he walked away with a pro-
found salaam, showing his respect for
superior learning. while Allen resum-
ed his congressional labors with a
stern look OF duty.
NJ / H.