The daily morning journal and courier., 1899-10-16

| Ike tnlS work. I'm Stuck on my 1op | Lemme get out O this. And he was
 out of the door and gone before the boy
 who came running downstairs with the l change he had left behind could catch | him.
 Its queer proposition, but it's a
 fact that the people who buy stuff at
 the establishment that pays me wages
 and then find out that they haven't bought what they wanted, make it point to hold me personally responsible.
 They've somehow or another got it into
 their heads that I am accountable for every ten cents worth of goods that
 leaves the building. Now, as matter
 of fact, I hardly know the difference
 between damask tabecloth and red
 counterpane, and neither does one floor
 walker out of five. A tloorWalker does
 mt have to know anything about the
 goods sold in the establishment where
 he hoorWalks, any more than track
 walker has to know anything about
 the 'steenth mortgage bonds of the rail-
 road for which he walks But the floor
 walker has to stand the whole thing,
 all the same. He is the buffer between
 the purchasing public and the proprie-
 tors and what he doesn't have to take
 in this capacity isn't worth mentioning.
 A motherly looking old lady came in the
 other day. She was so nice and mild
 and gentle looking that I found my
 self wishing I was her son-in-aW, and
 sick in bed, so she could nurse me. Well, she got her eye on me about two sec
 onds after she came in the door, and
 ellp motherly or mild at ali, somehow or
 other. She cantered up to me and shook her wet umbrella in my face.
 You're a fraud and swindler, sir! she said to me. It's wonder to me the police don't investigate such establish ments as this. I was never so imposed upon in my life. Just look at this sir!'
 "She pulled out of her black bag a kind of doylie about the size of the top of your hat, with a lot of yarn of different colors worked into it. The thing looked like it had been washed and the colors had run some. Do you know that that old woman bullied and broWbeat and hectored me for fully fifteen minutes before I could even be- gin to convince her that hadn't manu- fractured the yarn, that l didn't know the difference between yarn and four inch rope, that I couldn't feel the differ ence between green and blue except in a pousse cafe, that I didn't own the building and the ground lease; that I only earned 'ty-three dollars week at my job, and that the proper place for her to make her spiel was at the. yarn counter. Even after l had told her all this, and grovelled, and abased myself before her, and koW-towed, she went on sprinkling me and weting me down like she wanted to sweep me with her moist 
 Another pleasing duty in connection with my job is that of keeping the clerks, male and female in order. That's the reason Pm so popular with them, not. It's simply touching and wonder ful how I'm loved around that building! You see, I can have any of 'em fired on short notice and that's the reason don't attend the annual picnics given by the house to all the employees It | would be as much as the worth of my life, I suppose, to attend one of em. | I've only had one employee discharged |
  l drunken Scotchman who figured that, | because I was compelled by circum- stances to curl my mustache it would | 1e pretty safe proposition to hit me )n the nose. I paid for the provisions of his wife and family while he was in he hospital. But they all knew that he monitor business is a part of my ob and that's the reason they hate me. There's no way I can square myself, ,ither. For example.
 "A few weeks ago I heard some sort If a scrap taking place at the fancy ,oods counter A handsomely dressed woman with Du Maurier quiline nose and a bad eye was poking t into one of the girls behind the count r in a way to make a fellow catch his breath.
 '' Why, you wretched, peroxided, im- ,udent hussy, you.' she was saying to he girl, how dare you stand there and ell me that fan is hand d-painted, when ny infant in arms can see that it is nly stamped?'
 "The girl was a dyed-in- wool .merican girl and she was, therefore, ot built to stand that kind of talk.
 Madam 1 heard her say to the u Maurier dowager, it is now a mat CT of complete indifference to me, yhether you buy this fan or not or any ther fan. All the same, I want to gain assure you that it is hand paint bit as much hand-painted as ou are yourself
 "Tabeau! I thought the woman in ront of the counter would have aizure of apopleXy. I cut in then and lied to smooth the thing over, but she 'alked over me as if I was so much ln-bark She demanded to see the pro- rietor instanter, and I led her to him, caring that if I did not she would tear = le building in two rage 1t to the round, and fire volley over the ruins. he bulldozed the proprietor for ten , inutes, and demanded the instant dis 1arge of the girl The proprietor romsed to discharge the girl, and the dressed middle-aged wo- an with the temper and the tongue of
 fish-wife departed with her head in lat giraffe position you've seen. Well, lit in and then told the proprietor all bout it-how the woman had abused le girl and called her names and treat her in general like a hyena-so that, stead of firing the girl the propre- IT sent bill to the 'dowager to close ar account, together with q note re- testing her immediate settlement.