The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-10-16
"DAvID HARUM'S" HUMOR.
How He Went About Seeing Funny
Things Everywhere.
(AinsIeas Magazine.l


Had Edward Noyes Wescott not relish-S
ed a funny story SrDavid ELarum would
not now be making America Iaugm from IF
ocean to ocean Rustic folks always ap-S
peaIed to him-the funny side or them
He was especially fond of telling OF Jns
people who lived near SkaneateieS lake, $
particularly CT a certain Motel Keeper arg
Glen Haven ut whose mouse Mr. west
colt and his family often stayed i'm sum-
This mans table lapset intG SUCH q
condition that no one COULD look upon the
Wards and eat thereof. The guests COM
paints slipped tnnOcuOusl% from the
landlords back because Of his lnpene-
tFable c1nceft. His constant ana lffltdt--
ing brap- was to the effect that his hotel
was one of the best Kept aIId most lu1lr-
t0tgss in the country. 1t pleased certain
guests, including the West@2ssSs ~ ssSSss
there. and so a plan was MT upon to
better its matters. All Would ctuDs To-
srether and send the Self-SatistieQ land-s
lord on a little journey into Ine9 WoFlosf
an that he. might he educated into Tealiz-@
ing what a good hotel should be- Whle&
he was gone the guests ate with patieuces
the stale timed food, knowing me siille
of deifverance was at hand Finally Tie
man returned from his trip, and W. s. met
pv an eNpectant thF0ng on the piazza
which seemed to be saying breatnless4y,
;sWa-aI." said their host thrustingB his
hands deep in trousers pockets anN teeter-
ing on his toes. i've pen away way = We We pen
to yer Fifth Avenue hotel I've pen To-
yer ThOusan' islands an all the resi- o.
'em: but / can tell you what LII bet. TITS
is the only hotel from Maine e. srOrys
where you ken get seven kinds Of pie for
dnneri' And so saying, he pu1fed hlrn-
self still larger with tmpregndDle con-
ceit and the crest-faflen noaTders Went
Children. with his own, and all others,
he regarded with a tenderness inter
mixed with the awe that comes from an
utter failure to comprehend. He, sfel5 4
keenfy the responsibility OF fathernood-
but also felt his hand stayed from tim
OrouSness because OF the Inlustlee OF nay
ing caused their being. Il ne dessgM 0t% Ms
wife left him in a condition Or helpless
ness until his sister assumed the place
of mother to the three growing cnlldTel3
OF the youngest, Phillip, he once SAID.
1.-THE dear child is as pertinac10ush a. a
hv in his inquiries / had no idea q
child could ask so many questlorsa and
find it easier to settle muRlc1pab aILalrs
than to give an answer to such queries as
Papa. must / wear my rubperS o.
Papa how many apples may y eat a.
In speaking again of Phillip at the aga
of or TO- he says i'm a letter. @0n sun
day morning 1 get the small ooy 0Tessse4
pathway. push him before me down It's I
drGary way to church service.
! Of a mother, Edward Moves WeStcott
said: 'She has a baby, most pers{isl.c'
5ive one. which permeates and egtorsss Ms
conversation so that she sees alE EnlIlsS8
through q, baby daFkly.
At one time he wrote: have come "
y
never have so Row. with supersut icuS
I dread / try TO cheat fate by refratninE
/ from setting my heart ON anything, kesr
Again he writes: 'If 1 were ten years
I younger that phrase was almost
/ habitua1 with him. II might md an inter-
| est i'm flowers here Ashevilleh April les+,
\ 'slrIt All the flowers that have cared T0r.
i or ever shall. doomed long ago. II tlsfFS
! be one imm0rtelle among the loTst am
| glad and tlankful--aild COO pisss me
| mr.
4 ''But what Is consistency ". IS mercy
l living up 10 others eQucepttor59 or our
! natural course OF conduct Wsssy u
ore. Well he Is the IaSJ person = SisOuin
= ever have Thought would 90 mat HNnerS-
as the mental progress QE EeyrogresSiorl
J of that man, going on NlEnln nlIi1seli. mas
| led most logically to the sequence 50 un-
| exuecte6 TO others. Now, what could you
: expect Of m@2'' he supplemented Nnixnsi-
/ eaIly a man whose naIne IS y e--k ss,
1 and then he laughed In the seif-nulecr-
! ing way of ome who repeats a Joke OFT
! TgT9 t4fdre Look at my hands. TOO, Aes
4 added holding them out frankly Tor IN
\ specfi6IQ orc is strong. well developed,
L csfT}a'bIS. the other is almost efferninate-
4 Could. Anything be more inconsistent
/ a'FTe#Ten Ia full Of days, ~ coming Gals
4 wayrs Efel wrote thisG once in IL birtncay
I book opu0sfte his own date. Sept. p, wirlE
4 mn air. 81 VICTORY and defiance of the III
II tI1rss-a1ffoiggfg such moods were rare
II He was Il6re prone to- say Let us es2-
\ iaS+ o,grseryes and let nothing get away
f0Ts JzSfSeu we are dead We are SO very
4 .eIsa,5slf- and lthefH -Wouldt follow a gentle
laugh at his own, philosophy
=; .tSs 80 81 friend once reproached him.
II cold enough to know better. he re-
r,asfed. ssare y9T@ever old enough for
\ tfIat3ss
II Of deaths se4
sSDeath IS a hard fact to face and does
II isfsva4 lIf5ols like our imaginlngS- Tears
EwiIl overflow philcaopiIv. All ioye in~
/ 'yoIves and ends il them; but we weep
f6T@the rnost part. and. in one view Of IT,
always for ourselves