Evening star., 1899-02-04

while their mistresses are with them, but
when they are deserted for shopping lours
or the like they set up their plaintive wall
ing and yowling and then the clerk has to
stand for kicks from all over the house.
We have to fight shy of the musicians. in
strumental and vocal, too. Whenever
woman guest who is about to move in for
quite a stay casually mentions-they al
ways casually mention it-that she will
have her piano sent up in day or so, we
make 1t point to ask her II she practices
much Oh dear. no, she never does. The
fact Is, she very rarely touches the piano,
she says. but she likes to have IL along
with her just for companionship Well, we
had young married woman with her
piano and her voice along with her for
three steady months last year. She told
us that she hardly ever touched the keys.
but rs matter OF fact she began prac-
ticing scales at o'clock In the morning
and kept at II until after IL. and then from
o'clock in the afternoon until about
she praCticed her vocal lesson, The singing
lesson was Il heap worse than the scales.
and the kicks l had to listen to about II
were surely fierce. l was held personally
responsible for II all.
Another thing for which the clerk is
held personally responsible Is mail matter,
and, just as often, kilograms. Any mall
here for me YETI guest Will ask the clerk.
and, upon getting negative reply, he will
look at the man behind the desk out of the
slants of his eyes. suspiciously, as much as
to say. You want to watch out there, you
chap; I've collared mail thieves before, and
I'll catch you in the act If you are not al
mighty careful. The guest who is in mo-
mentary expectation of a telegram is also
inclined to the belief that the clerk is hold
ing back his message out of a spirit of
pure devilment, and his wrath is hard to
appease.
Other Styles of Crooks.
'Then there are the cranks who don't
want running water in their rooms, be-
cause they fear sewer gas. and who detail
the clerk to hunt them up corks to stop the
discharge pipes, so as to keep out the gas.
Also the people-and there are lots of them,
men and women-who will have other
rooms but those Immediately accessible to
the fire escapes. The jealousies of the Ia
dies who take apartments for the season
have also to be reduced and aSsuaged by
the clerk. For instance, an old lady who is
a very hot card indeed when it comes to
extremely young and stylish dressing, was
visiting in the rooms of a much younger
guest, married woman, couple OF weeks
ago and she got her eye on a chiffonier in
the younger woman's room. The chiffonier
had a glass reaching to the floor, which
enables woman to see her whole make
up. down to the bottom of her skirt The
old lady came to me with an instant de-
mand for one of those chffoniers. l told
her there but one of them in the house
and that was in use.
We'll. you can give me that she said
and l spent half an hour trying to con-
vince her that we couldn't take furniture
out of one guests room to give to another.
l didn't make it stick, though Finally the
proprietor came around and got into the
argument, and he wound it up by fatty
telling the old lady that she couldn't have
the chiffonier. She had moved across the
street to the rival hotel before sunset that
evening"