The age-herald., 1899-01-06
THE sHAFTER HAY-CLADs.
Mr. Dooley Relates an Important Incident
 of the War.


 From the Chicago Journal.
 MT. Dooley had been reading about Gen. eral Shafter's unfortunate abandoned en- terprise for capturing Santiago by means of a load of hay, and it filled him with great enthusiasm. Laying down his paper he said By dad, I always said they give me frind Shafter tn worst iv it. If they'd left him to do tn job tn way he wanted to do it he'd we taken Santiago without losin' an ounce."
 "How was it he wanted to do it?" MT. Hennessy asked.
 Well" said MT. Dooley, "twas this way. This is tn way it was. or Cervera's fleet was in tn harbor an bottled up, tn man says. Shafter he says to Sampson: Look here, me buckno, what tn divvle ar-re ye loafin ar-round out there fir, he says. Why don't ye go in an smash tn Castiles?' he says. I'm dcin well where I am, says Sampson. Tn navy iv tn United States he says, which is wan iv tn best if not tn best, in the wurruld,' he says, was not he says, intended fr sthreet fightin,. he says. We'll stay here,' he says, where we ar-re,' he says, until he says, we can equip tn ships with noomatic tire wheels he says, an ball bearins,' he says.
 "'Well,' says Sharter, if ye won't go in,' he says, well show ye tn way he says. <-n' he calls on Cap Brice, that was wan iv tn youngest an tastiest dhressers in tn whole crool an devastatin' war. Cap he says, is they amy hay in tn camp?' he says. 'Slathers iv it, says tn cap. on
 less.' he says, tn sojers ct it, he says. Tn las load iv beef that come down firm tn undhertakers,' he says was not good he says. 'Ayther,' he says, twas improperly waked' he says, 'or,' he says, tn pallbear- CTS was careless, he says. Annyhow,' he avs, tn sojers won't eat it, an whin left they was lookin greediy at tn hay, he says.
 "'Cap,' says Gin'ral Shafter, if amy man ates a wisp shoot him on tn spot he says. Those hungry sojerS may desthroy me
 hopes iv vichtry,' he says. What dye
 mane? says Cap Brice. I mane this says Gin ral Shafter. mane to take yon for tress,' he says. I'll sind ye in. Her tur-
 rets Il be alfalfa, she'll have three inches of solid timothy to tn water line, an wan inch iv tn best clover below the wather lne,' he says Did ye iver see an eight inch shell pinitrate bale iv hay% he says. "I niver did," says Cap Brice. Maybe that was because 1 niver see it thried, he says. Be that as it may, says Ginral | Shafter ye niver see it done. No more did | l., he says. 'Onless, he says, they shoot pitcbforks,' he says, they'll niver hur-rt ye,' he says. 'Ye'll be onvicible,' he says. | Yell proceed into tn harbor, he says | behind the study armor iv projuce,' he says. Let yeer watchword be, Stay on tn | farrm,' and go on to victhry,' he says | 'Gin-ral' says Cap Brice, how can I thank l ye fir tn honor? he says. ''Tis no won l her tn men call ye their fodder" he says. 1 Twas joke Cap Brice med at tn time | I'll do tn best I can,' he says 'an if I die in ntt N.tHf l,r tn bran-mashll wave over me grave, he | says.
 "An' Gin'ral Shafter he got together his | fleet an put tn armor on it. Twas a | formidable sight. They was tn cruiser Box Stall, full armored with sixty-eight
 bales iv tn finest grade iv chopped feed tn R-red Barn, modhren hay battleshp | protected be whole mow iv tmiothy, an tn gallant little Haycock a torpedo boat shoot Tn deadly missiles iv explosive cats The ex- petition was delayed be wan iv tn mules sthrollln down to tn shore an atin' up tn afther batthry an par'rt iv tn ram iv tn R-red Barn, an befure repairs was made
 Admiral Cervera heerd iv what was goin
 on. Glory be to tn saints,' he says what an injaynious thribe these Yankees is says he Ony few weeks ago they thried to desthroy me by dumpin' load iv coal on
 me, he says, 'an' now he says, they'll be roliln oarfs iv flour on me firm tn htes
 nex,' he says. I'd betther get out he
 says. ''Tis far nobler,' he says, to pur- rlsh on tn r-ragin' main,' he says, thin to die with ye'er lungs full iv hayseed an yeer eyes full iv dust he says. T was bor-rn in large city he says, an' don't
 know the rules iv tn barn. he says. An he wint out an took his lickn' Twas too bad Shafter didn't get chance at him, but he's give tn tip to tn la-ads that makes tn boats. No more ixpinsive steel an ir-n, but good oP grass firm tn twinty-acre meadow. Tn ship yards II be moved from tn say an laid down in tn neighborhood iv Polo, Illinye
 an all tn Mississippi valley Il ring with
 tn sound iv tn scythe an tn pitchfork
 buildin tn definse Is our country's honor Thank tn Lord, we've winrows an winrows iv Shafter's armor plate between here an Dubuque"
 MT. HennessY said good night