New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-03-12
THE TALK or THE DAY.


Here few names taken at random from the
delinquent tax list of Hawaii for 1895 printed in
OF the Honolulu papers: Alapak Bila Alapai.
All Kui. All You. c. J. All Fat. Boo Sau Tong. Bow
Din. Dol. Ak Goo Tokepa. Ellen Kahaunaea Lukla
Kaholohoo. Lehulu Keohokaloe. Kahakumaka-
lani. Not AT and b. So The ks take up three
columns of space, being three times as numerous
as the delinquents under any other letter
Weary Billy-HeliIo. there, old boss! whear You
bin keepin yourself?
Beery Wiily-Bn boardin';
Beery Wiay -Why. boardn' freghtcars Of course.
-(Harpers Bazaar
a evangelist is converting many sinners
IN Missouri. In one of her addresses the other day
she said: There IS man in this house who Is
untrue to his wife! l am going to throw this hymn
book at him" She raised the book II she
going to throw It. and every but in the
house ducked his head to avoid the book. Then
she blstered the dodgers and lauded the
man. 1t afterward learned that he was deaf
and dumb.
a Difficult situaton.-"Tt's too bad said sa-
gasta I'm tone Of deep pathos Il wish they
wouldn't send such unreasonable people to the
whats the trouble"
NUMBER az h gGi S@g 26 foT the .S
they PAID il f &dySnfe Of The MONEY whGh
the treaty is Observation-Disclosures star.
geogra phlcaI congress Is to be held in Berlin in
September and among the subjects which II VIII
consider the following may be mentioned; The
proposal to introduce international uniformity In
the methodcal treatment OF various subjects. such
as the problem Of the tides the conventional signs
on maps. the nomenclature and delimitation OF
oceans and seas the attachment Of the scale TO
every map and the mode OF arranging meteoro-
logical tables There will also be suggestions for
joint international work in collecting materials Of
every kind relating to floating ice To earthquakes,
to the utilization Of arid lands to the exploration
OF the Antarctic regions, and 10 the systematic
exploration OF the oceans.
Brethren" cried Deacon Johnslng de politician
what talked in dis town las night say De Philip-
pines were poor dogs what ought 70 be helped But
An what d yo fin dar? Beware oh dogs. An
whar d you fin dat Why. yo fin II by a man
dat knew desc people better we do Yo' fin 1t in
de Epstle Paul to de Misunderstanding
Chronicle.
In one Of the lower counties OF Kentucky re-
Gently ragged dirty disreputab.e tramp stole
pair of oxen and sold them A shrewi young law
yer undertook his defence and when the case was
called wel-dressed clean-shaven, good-lookins
man took his place in the dock. The change was
SO great that none of the men who had him
with the oxen were able to completely identify him
and he acquitted.
"Oh yes" said Miss Flyppe. Mr.. Gayson is
nice enough fellow but he ought to have his clothes
made by tailor .o., -, .-.....-
How do know? can tell hand-me-downs on
THAT means" bitterly sollloquized young Throg-
gins he wended his way %, homward "a an s h9nr
my next sut"-(Chicago Tribune.
The following curious advertisement recently APP
peared In The London Spectator Thousands OF
people would be glad to know OF a religion without
superstition "A faith without credulity. and wor-
ship without dolatry. Apply for theistic literature
to Mrs Laing the Theistic Church swal.ow-st..
Piccadily London"
Kissing etc-"Your name VIII be a Missing and
byword" exclaimed the betrayed lover, with "A ter
rble look
NO" she protested. everybody doesn't put such
quantities OF whskers on his IS as do YOU,
no., o Gen WIN" his dTamatic armcDetrot Journal
THE Charleston News and Courier" says that
IF. Ilopkinson Smith worked the same gag I'm
Charleston that ne has been accused OF In different
Western cties-of appearing on the stage in bust
ness clothes and explaining that his trunk had gone
astray"
Fuddy-I guess Chaplain enjoyed the opera last
night supremacy. He dpplauded nearly every mum
Der
Duddy-It wasn't because he enjoyed the music
lie saw Rural in the house and he was bound that
Rural shouldn't hear the whole OF the opera so
he managed to get enough encores to cause Kurs .
to rush for his train before the last act was half
hnished.-(Boston Transcript
When Hull House Chicago opened Its public
kitchen one woman strongly objected 10 eating the
food cooked in IT, II don't want TO eat nutritious
food" she said 81 want to eat what I'd ruther
III had money" said the Major contemplative-
IT, which haven't and never Will haVe-l'd build
II lot Of big dancing payilions all over The poor
districts of Philadelphia and have free dancing
there three times week. It's the chahce OF
lifetime for millionaire Any one who's gone
through those districts clear night VIII APP
preciate what | mean The street pianos make
their living there one IL running I'm every block
or SO. and a hundred children. from two TO twenty
years. are dancing about them. It's good dancing,
100 | wonder what becomes OF them. They
certainly don't 40 on the stage. You see Al grl OF
five years But that's another story one million
aire could keep liquor out get people OF the street
and what's most OF all. make them happy
have n scheme But I'll tell you about that
another time -(Phadephia Press,
A Boston Sunday school teacher not long ago
gave her class rather graphic description of how
Eve was created from the rib OF Adam Mamma
said the Youngest member OF the class that same
evening pressing HIS hand to his side Il m afraid
I'm going to have a wife
The Fortuncs-'rhe great naval celebrity was
on his way the safety deposit vaults with sew
eral instruments - prize money.
Hello" exclaimed an intimate friend what
have you there
These" replied the celebrity, are the fortunes
OF war that you read so much about -(Washing-
ton Star.