New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-04-26
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

THE Philadelphia Record" says: Conductor Penn
Little OF the Reading Railway who was painfully
injured few weeks ago by being thrown from the
top OF a at Nicetown. Is aware now that great
rivalry exists among undertakers and florists In
this city. The day following his accident he re-
ceIved twenty-five proposals from various under
takers who wanted the job OF burying him. the
rates running from SIS to $500. Florists from all
over the country sent their rates for gates ajar.
broken columns. pillows and vacant chairs. One
gardener called in person. and Little meeting him
at the door, succeeded In getting 80 per cent dis
count off market prices before he made himself
known as the man supposed to be dead"
He and Human Nature-'T have been trying for
nearly year he said' TO get chance 10 ask you
"Ah. Francis" she replied, Il am glad to know
that you persevering. and shall not let your
consistency of purpose go unrewarded. VIII De
yours"
first" he made haste to answer that now the
chance is offered haven't any desire to accept Dr.
pie are always longing for that which they 10 not
r5snes to ss net Wnf they y" don't want
She was too busy looking hard at nothing 10 re-
ply.-tChicago News.
1T was plain to be seen says THE Philadelphia
North American" that the rivals for her hand
would do each other damage II some arrangement
not soon reached. Just then happy thought
courteously approached her.
Gentlemen! Gentlemen. she cried, amid the
boiler-shop tumut of their beating hearts De put
patient and I'll marry you both!
For she was a firm believer In the usefulness
and efficacy of divorce as means OF assuasihs
the flow OF bleeding hearts"
She Wanted to Knoxville had done his best TO
explain TO her all about the Apia diff1cutes
$50 you see" he concluded. ITS the Ola sto Ply
OF too many cooks. That's the history or the
Yes. Charley, dear it's all as clear as day: ex-
cept one thing: Who Is this Sam Owen!"-'"ash-
ington Star.
After all the agitation by the temperance people
against the Army canteen and the act OF Congress
abollshing 1t, the War Department gives out this
bit OF news: AN experiment with two new styles
of Army canteens is being tried among the troops
I'm Cuba and Porto Rico; five hundred nave peeh
distributed for among the troops now SERVING
In the tropics, and five hundred OF another KIM
have also been purchased and issued There nave
been no reports from the soldiers yet as TO the
value Of the new purchases" This Is startling Az
first sight but there is really no cause for alarm
that so large a distribution of canteens is gong
TO make drunkards of our soldiers In the tropics;
the canteens are not Of that sort. This particular
canteen Is n water-carrer, with long, porous
pipeke filter and carried over the shoulder The
water percolates through the porous substance and
fills the pipe with a small-sized drink after drink
ing which the soldier must wait until the pipe Is
again filled by the process Of filtration, unless he
should in his thirst pull out the filter and drink
from the canteen in the old way.
Among the souvenirs which are being treasured
by a LOT OF Kansas mothers are letters from their
soldier boys written on pieces or cartridge boxes
with pencils made of sharpened bullets Such a
letter was received from her son by Mrs Johnson,
wife of the Supreme Court Justice the other day.
and In it the young man said he had suffered no
other injury except arm which was back ana
blue from the elbow to the shoulder from the KICK
Ing OF his gun.-(Kansas City Journal
1t would not have offended sensitive ears so much
II Dr. Parker had used either the Biblical or the
ecclesiastical form of the anathema instead or
crying from the pulpit of the City Temple IN Lon
don: IT say in the name Of God, God damn the
SULTAN,
"And is this the first time you have experienced
the sensation of love-" she asked.
ut is he replied. ,o.,
Am I the first girl you ever told you loved!
she persisted. -,
He hesitated. What might not have come to her
ears? you must remember" he said at last. now
easy Il for the ignorant and unintiated 10 accept
a base Imitation for the real thing. "-(Chcago POST