The times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1897-1901, 1899-04-30

was strong enough, occasionally shoveled
snow from the walk in front OF the house,
almost always posted bills for the COM
binstion and in the evening sailed forth
in the title role of Diamond Dick of the
Rockies or as Mercutio, with songs, y
in Romeo and Juliet"
AS the years wore on and most of these
things came to be done by people rang
ing in rank from the star Of the organ
ization to the expressman. the fellow In
advance found his occupation following
0thello's. Gradually everything but travel
contracts and an occasional paste pot was
taken from under his supervision. 1t be-
came necessary for the courier to spell
correctly and with some degree of fluency.
while leniency in treatment of the English
language did not cause him to be looked
upon with suspicion by his colleagues.
With the final understanding among man
ayers of the inestimable advantages to be
secured from proper display in the news
papers literary labor became most i'm
portant, and ultimately the agent was
forced to write almost as much as he
might have had he belonged to the fourth
estate. Consequently he became more able
though still often laughable. 1t is this
class of representative who is vanishing as
did his predecessor. Increased demand for
something approaching style and correct
heoo IA tuC WdoLc Ddohtto VI ihhllci euihNN
in to the journals of this country daily
is the cause OF his going.
The individual ahead" of today is a
strange fellow-more odd mentally than
was the original of a decade ago with his
glass diamonds and high silk hat. There
are many varieties of him. but generally
all imaginable qualifications are conferred
in single specimen of the ilk. His ear
marks are distingushable at any distance.
When he bustles into the local room of
newspaper the very Office boy knows him
Immediately. His clean shaven face, his
faultless attire, his brisk methods, and his
inimitable impudence attract universal at
tenton. Should all other symptoms be
lacking. there can be no mistaking the i'm
pudence. A publicity promoter of any
mettle will not hesitate ten seconds be-
fore requesting that an entire edition of
great daily be stopped and the mails de-
layed that he may have printed squib
concerning the manner in which his star
once slipped on an orange peel but was
saved from falling. He will take from his
person something like sixty columns of
bald advertising for his attraction and
hand it TO the dramatic editor in most
unblushing fashion. And if he happens to
have been given an excuse for adding $40
to his expense account by the purchase Of
glass of beer and warranted MOTTO
kill cigar for that erudite gentleman he
feels that proper return cannot involve
less than three solid pages of matter.
The aforesaid matter is generally ar
ranged in form guaranteed to ruin the
temper Of the most gentle critic known to
fame and to get him into condition for
going home and abusing his wife's rela-
tives. In nine cases out of ten it is writ
ten on the thinnest tissue paper. The
lines are so jammed together that correc-
tons could not be put in by the celebrity
who engraved the Lords Prayer on dime,
and the result invariably is that the copy
reader SO disfigures the manuscript with
guide marks that 1t resembles nothing
more than map of Chicago with accurate
representations of its cable systems. II
this stuff is not consigned to the nearest
cuspidor and its author to a more torrid
place before the examiner has finished,
it finally reaches the composing room and
endangers the souls of the type-setters.
An old hand at the business of press
agency will invariably seek out stenog-
rapher who is an ardent advocate of pho
netic reform in spelling, and, between the
girls photography and punctuation and the
dictator's handling OF the Presidents Eng
lish, the composition usually sounds to
the uninitiated like Scotch dialect story.
A real expert also takes care that the
typewriter used shall have ribbon so
fresh that the martyr who looks over the
tale will be fit candidate for the job OF
tattooed man in a museum when he has
finished work. Theatrical couriers should
draw royalties from laundry proprietors
and soap manufacturers.
When the envoy Is anxious for vaca-
ton tho real troubles of the dramatic ed
itor begin. He never has any difficulty
in picking the precise period at which the
has reqplyad yiyinp his tired
brain a rest-the signs are unmistakable.
In such instances the critic looks in vain
for advice concerning the coming attrac-
ton, and finally resolves to hazard few
wild guesses in an attempt to give the
combination that extra space for which its
advertising CALLS Two days after these
fabrications have been printed series OF
epistles arrive from some winter resort,
and after the impromptu representative
has paid the excess postage due on them
he is Informed OF the affairs concerning
which he wrote. Invariably the company
has resolved to change its vehicle at the
last moment, and the reviewer is forced
to contradict all that he has said.
Copy sent in by man on vacation is
without exception the output of a mimeo-
graph which has worked so long
overtime that the article resolves it
self into sort of missing word
Iunltol. hOIc tlcu NAH vi every
sentence is illegible and has to be
filed in with reckless disregard of original
intentions-a circumstance that does not
always improve the designers style. The
paper is so greasy that a pencil skates
over 1t without leaving a sign of its pas
sage. At the top is Chinese puzzle
which reads something like G1000S? and
number that makes the most charitable
resolve to doubt the statement printed on
a. cid Of ,to
nounces that the composition is mot dupli-
Gated" A blank is left for the name of
the theatre at which the troupe is to ap-
pear, and this is often filled in with the
designation OF house in the next town
but one. Other mistakes are likely to oc-
cur If these stock notices are not care
fully read. One which was sent to The
Times by the agent of an organization of
burlesquers announced seriously a series
of ladies' souvenir matinees at Kernan's,
and another had been SO fitted together
Manager Albaugh, the boyish director of
the Lafayette" had taken to secure a Ger
tain farce comedy for his house
Not that the dramatic editor who wishes
to avoid unpleasant interviews with a
curious employer will ever permit press
matter to go to the composing room be-
fore he has peruned it at least three tims
ADVANCE REPRESENTATIVES frequently nave
imaglnations u totally surpass their lit
erary qualifications, and the results are
sometimes laughable to everyone but the
unfortunate copyreader. Pathology is
the crying evil of the theatrical agent. who
will use one word until it grows home
sick. The man ahead of Robert Down
ing is responsible for an excellent example
of this form of bad English. Earlier in
the year the courier forwarded Informal
ton that "a True Knight the play
which Robert Downing is to be seen in
J., &c ~