davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-01-05
Too Much Interest,

Wright--I believe good deal of hu-
man interest could be put in play
with the scenes laid in pawnshop.
Reed-My dear boy, the interest in a
pawnshop is something absolutely In
human. Enquirer.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-01-05
SHAKE INTO YUUH Or ~

II cures painful .voIe9 : .tIus ooi 20 =
cov.Ty Of Ihs age. AIIs s,.I. u.s. 'er.l
tieh: or new shoes Zee eS ,try. callonl srsr
cure for Chilblsins, swe - IA s.ss,s
aching feet. Try u toadgc Trial 81,
E FEE snd ADDRESS, .nGe :.U Alien 8. oI~''''
NY
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-01-05

Life insurance is a good thing but health
insurance. By keeping the blood pure with
Hoods Sarsaparilla, is still better.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-01-05

CDR. Bulls Cough Syrup has saved
many life. 1t can always be relied on
to cure the dangerous croupand whoop-
ing-cough. 1t gives immediate relief
and should be kept in every home. 1t
only costs - cents bottle
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-01-05

Poverty wants some things, luxury
many things, avarice all things.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-01-05
j. $. FLEMING, Agent.
The Jefferson County lau,UaI
FIRE INSURANCE COMPANY,
ESTABLISHED 1870.


OFFERS 10 the people Of Jefferson '"ltp
DInsurance I'm n safe company ni me ac'1i
cost of Insurance, which IL much Chui'i
than the rates usually charged and kerpH'
money at home. Good risks from fespohG
BILE partiesare invited.
Executive Committee meets every fHd'l
DIREC1oRs-Jos Trapnell lsuy Y. I"',.'
mort. LAS. Garland Hurst, John W. hlds', v.
II. T. Lewis, X. Preston chew, VIM. J., W
son, Eug me Baker : W. washington d. /
SNYDER. Chas. Z wilson. Jno. IL. Iitu', Jar'i
s. Melvin, T.. q. W. Herr. Isaac H. htfld'i
JOSEPH TRAPNELL. .......-. 90. ffe'lo'l
II. Is. DAVENPORT .............. f''u'
LOCAL AGENTS Mlddleway, John 4" SID
lev; Harper y Ferry. Cias. u. Trail -f'T
herdstown, j. :. Fleming, tAare''si
Washington 81 Alexander.
sSThe Secretary vii. be found AZ iht,oA
pany's ONCE, Gibson Building, t"1fl-h'l"
yard, In Charlsstown. .....,.,....y-..
RIA A.EXANntE,ss'I
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-01-05
Nn-rn-Rac for Fifty Cents.

Guaranteed tobacco habit cure, makes weak
men strong, blood pure. soc, 81. All druggists
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-01-05
-slggrr7ysissssiSI5ifs;TiiSsssn
- !, ss sssv sxy Agt
Baltimore & Ohio Railroad

Baltimore & Ohio Railroad
The following is the time oftrsinsstopping
at Shenandoah Junction, In effect May To-
1895:
EAsT-BoUND.
No. 4t-5.4OA. NJ. Memphis to New lorK.
Connection with n. w. north:
No. S-lOl2 A. VI. 81. Louis and New f'rk
Limited Express. .
No. le-l2l7 p. NJ. Keyser and BaItlmore Ac-
No. 6-S.OS u. NJ. Express. stops on sig NJ l.
No. l4-6.H Pm Keyser and baltimore :, ac-
commodstion. Daily except sun
No. 1875 IL p. NJ. Sunday only, comes rom
Martinsburg. a..
No. 46-9.OSP. NJ. Washington Express uaiiS
wEsT-BoUND.
No. 1888 A. NJ. Baltimore and Cnmper-
land Accommodation. Daily e&-
cept SUNDAY.
No. lSlS-75S A. NJ. sunday only. only runs
To Martiusburg
No. lille 4. NJ. Baltimore anu hey ser r Ac
commodation. Daily except sun
No. l-5.g p. NJ. New York and st. Louis
Limited Express. Connects with
y. & W. south.
30. 7-q57 =. NJ. Baltimore ana "heeIlhE'
PutsbuTg Express. IAN
No. 4S-l2. i5 4. NJ. Leaves Baltimore ''on
NJ. and Washington $50 L. NJ, con-
Meeting with y. * w. going south.
II. Il. MARTIN,
Manager Passenger franc
W.M. GREEN.
General Manager.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-01-05

Train No. 10 runs daily between Harrisburg
and HageTstOwn.
Daily.
Daily except Sunday.
Leave mol No.S No.5 No.7 No.s lUS
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-01-05
Western Maryland Railroad
-CONNECTING WITH.

IL Il Z. K. X. at Shippensburg, NOrfOlk &
Western and b. & o. Railroads al HRgers-
town, 2. K. X. at Frederick Junction and
p W. & b., y. e. and Il. & Z. Railroads al n
lon station. Baltimore, Md.
MAIN LINE AND CONNECTIONS.
Schedule taking effect November ? 1898.
LEAVE HAGERsTowN.
6.S5 AN. Accommodation for Shippensburg
7.U2 A. NJ. Through passenger for Baltimore,
arriving at 1917 a. m; also for
Gettysburg and Hanover.
sos A. NJ. For Clearspring, Cherry Run and
WilliamSport.
nlOA.M Accommodation for Shippensburg.
l2.2OP. NJ. For WilliamspOrt.
1870 Z. NJ. For Clearspring and Cherry Run.
2O7 p. NJ. Mail for Baltimore, arriving al 5.59
Pm; also for Hanover and Get
tysburg.
LISP. VI. Fast Mail, arriving Baltimore III.
100 Z. NJ. For Shippensburg.
S.u5 z. NJ. For Williamsport and Cherry Run
ARRIVE AT HAGERsTowN.
$50 A. NJ. From williamsport and Cherry
Run.
1894. NJ. From Baltimore, Fast Mail.
500 A. NJ. From Shippensburg.
lz.l5 2. NJ. From Baltimore.
lU.25 Z. NJ. From Cherry Run.
S.O5 =. NJ. From Shippensburg.
$40 p. NJ. From Shippensburg.
S.O0P. NJ. From BaltimOre-thrOugh train.
b. II. dRlSVOLD, Gen. Pass. Agent
J. NJ. HOOD. Pres. and Gen1 Manager.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-01-05
BROWN WAGONS

Educate Your Bowels with Cascarets.
Candy Cathsrtic. cure constipation forever
i0c, 25c. II G. G. C. fail, druggists refund money.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-01-05

CASToEIA.
R..,..,. 1Ihs Kind You Haze Always Bought
''', ct &ZzNu
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-01-05

Draws 10 gallons of
water per minute. No
tubing to rust, burst
or wear. Never has
to be packed, primed
or tEawed. Will not
freeze, as bucket g
drain tn EN- selves.
VIII not rust, chain
and buckets made of
Galvanized Steel. Can
be set up in 10 min
utes. No attachments
below the platform.
No wooden tubing,
rubber or leather to
COntaminate the wa
ter. Makes bad water
good and good water
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-09-21
CRANBERRY PATCHES.
How to Utilize Waste Places on Farms
Where There Is a Perennial
Spring or Brook.

On a well-tilled farm between culti-
waited fields was mud-hole covering
an eighth of an acre, caused by the
spreading out of the brook. The farm
er believed in utilizing the waste places
and making every part of the farm
contribute to the general purpose. The
spring from which came the brook
could not be interfered with because it
produced excellent water and was
worth more than anything that could
be grown in the meadow, for after
passing through the swamp it ran into
a trough in the pasture where the cat
tie had access to it.
There were several ways of improving
this meadow and of giving the water
from the spring uninterrupted flow,
but all were costly except the one de-
cided upon. He made a cranberry bog
of the meadow. 1t costs about $500 an
acre to make a good bog, but it pays.
Several things are necessary, and one
of them is facility for flooding in the
fall to prevent damage by early frosts.
In this bit of meadow the farmer raised
Gran berries as large as cherries, always
welcome to any table, and always in de-
mand in the market, especially when
sugar is low. Wherever there is a per-
ennial spring or brook (heaven help
the farm that has neither) there are
usually moist, untillable places, but eN-
actly adapted to cranberry culture.
Put in few cranberry plants, for
cranberry sauce is sauce for anything.
1t is more than sauce; it is food, and
may be just the medicine the system
needs.-George Appleton, in Farm and
Fireside.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-09-21
DoRoTHY.s REASONS.

1 like hard times. cause 1 can wear old
clothes,
Not dwesses it 'ould spon to pay mud
PIES;
An when it's warm enough l has bare
toes
Such fun for tots my s:zei
1 like it. too cause mother helps TO cook:
And myl she makes such lots OF 'licious
things
Cookies an gingerbread-not angel food.
s if we had wings!
I like hard times cause now we never buy
The candy at the shops. at makes folks
sick
But mother puts Aliases on to boil
The kettles fine to lick!
An men it's nice cause Angie-she's the
Is gone, an mother tucks me up in bed;
And sometimes stays with me little while.
When prayers are said.
1 like hard times. cause now dwess my
self
I'm dwefful sorry for the poor rich girls
My hairs cut short des to save mother time
An they has curlsi
An. OH such fun now, when our washday
comes,
An mother cooks while Bridgets at the
tubi
They let me wash all Arabella's clothes.
An rinse an rub!
like hard times jes' 'cause-my papa
says
has the things like to wear an eat;
But mos of alan papa ought to know
Cause mothers brave an sweet!
Mary l.. c. Robinson. in S. S. Times.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-09-21

The doors of the University of Wis
consin will be opened in Madison to the
seeker after knowledge on Septem-
Der ~.
Some portions of Vernon county were
visited by frost, but not sufficient to
do much damage except to the late un-
harvested tobacco.
The new Christ Episcopal church in
La Crosse, erected at a cost of $4,000,
was dedicated.
II. w. Clark, the oldest citizen of JEFF
ferson died at the age Of 81 years.
Rural free delivery has been estab-
lished at Fort Atkinson. The routes
cover 81 square miles.
An order has been issued discontin-
uing the post Office at Lemonweir, Jul
neau county. Mail will be sent to
Camp Douglas.
Four Mormon elders have located in
La Crosse and say they expect to remain
all winter.
One man was killed and another Sc
riously injured and property damaged
amounting to $4,000 by an explosion
of ammonia followed by fire at the
Cream City brewery in Milwaukee.
Minnie English, a woman of the town,
committed suicide in Portage by talk
ing strychnine.
There are not less than so cases of
typhoid and malaria in and about New
| Lisbon.
The Marinette Chautauqua is practi-
cally assured for another year, nearly
| 1000 tickets having been disposed of in
! advance.
Beloit college ha1 opened the most
promising year in its history.
The Hotel Vendome, summer resort
at Sturgeon Bay, was burned, the loss
being $4,000.
Maj. ID. A. Stearns, of Monroe, who
was appointed captain in the Thirty
ninth volunteers, has declined the APP
pointment.
The first tobacco crop ever raised in
Marinette county matured near Mari
nette this fall. Henry Perfountain, a
| tobacco planter, harvested 400 pounds
which is pronounced excellent leaf.
John Sperber, proprietor of the Ma
tional hotel in Waukesha, was found
dead in bed. Mr.. Sperber was native
of Bavaria and was 81 years of age.
Fire destroyed a business block
owned by Thomas Skinner at Endeayor,
in which were the post Office, general
store and dwelling.
The Amigo screen door sawmill and
furniture factory has been closed by
attachment of creditors. The labili-
ties are placed at $4,000 and assets at
$4,000.
A plague of anthrax in the western
part of the state is reported by DR.. Ill. z.
Clute, state veterinarian.
After suffering from an illness of Is
years standing, John Schaefer, aged
| 60, arose from bed in Milwaukee and
drowned himself in the river.
Robert Eckert, well-kDown farmer,
was found drowned in the river about
three miles north of Algoma.
At Gays Mills -year-old child
| of Mrs. Lowe died from the effects of
eating go pills, installing them for
/ candy.
The state convention of the Equal
| Suffrage club win be held in Platteyille
October Is to %, inclusive. One of the
special attractions will be lecture by
Susan +. Anthony.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-09-21
FAMOUS MINIATURES.

Comte de Guiche owed his life to
wearing a snuffbox over his heart, for
the box turned aside bullet while in
battle. In the center of the snutfbox
was a miniature of Henrietta, duchess
of Orleans, daughter of Charles |.
Cromwell lost his head through a
miniature. HoIbein was dispatched by
Cromwell on mission to Flanders TO
paint miniature of Anne of Cleves for
her sutton, Henry WILL, and so beauti-
full was the miniature that Henry was
content 10 wed her. But when he saw
Lady Anne and found her so far in
ferior 10 the painting the storm burst
on the minister, Cromwell, and not on
the painter.
Once miniature was the cause of a
suicide Charles |. so admired a min
nature painted by Gibson that he par
ticularly requested his servant" Van
derdort, a Dutchman whom he had
made keeper of the cabinet and TO as
sist in the ''mynt, to take the greatest
care of it. The jealous man oyerdid it,
for when one day his majesty desired to
see it again it could not be found. This
so proved on the servants mind that he
hanged himself.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-09-21

With time, comes progress and adj
yancement iii all lines of successfully
conducted enterprises. Success comes
to those only who have goods with
superior merit and reputation. In
the manufacture of laundry starch for
the last quarter of century j. c..
Hubinger has been the peer of all
others and to-day is placing on the
market the finest laundry starch ever
offered the public under our new and
original method.
Ask your grocer for coupon book
which will enable you to get the first
two large 10 cent packages of his new
starch, RED CROSS. TRADE MARK
brand, also two of the children's
Shakespeare pictures painted in twelve
beautiful colors as natural as life, or the
Twentieth Century Girl Calendar, all
absolutely free.
All grocers are authorized to give ten
large packages of RED CROSS STARCH,
with twenty of the Shakespeare pic
lures or ten of the Twentieth Century
Girl Calendars, to the first five purchas-
ers of the Endless Starch Chain Book
This is one of the grandest offers ever
made to introduce the RED CROSS
laundry starch, j. C. Hubing gers latest
invention
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-09-21
JOHN c. HUBINGER.
Remarkable Career of IA WeIl-kno'vn
Western Capitalist, Manufact-
urer and PhilnnthrOpist.

Among the leaders of the progressive
element for which the midle west is
famous, Mr.. John c. Hubinger, of Keo-
kuk, Ia, reigns without a peer. As
a manufacturer, as an enterprising cap
italist and as philanthropist his fame
has spread over many states, and his
financial enterprises have developed
many obscure towns into progressive,
thrifty and wide-awaEe cities. Mr..
Hubinger, although but 81 years OF
age, can look back upon scores of com
mercial victories, each one of which has
benefited mankind for his liberality is
as bountiful as his business sagacity is
marvellous. He was born in New Or
leans, La, his parents being of French
and German origin. When he was four
years old, his family removed to Ken
lucky, in which state young Hubinger
received a public school education. AL
most before reaching mans estate he
secured patents on a number of val
liable mechanical inventions, thereby
laying the foundation of his present
fortune.
BY inclination and force of circum-
stances his attention was early direct
ed to the manufacture of starch by i'm
proved processes, and in the course of
time he became the head of concern
having an annual business of millions
of dollars. But genuine ambition
never quite satisfied with existing con-
ditions, works ever toward perfection.
and after years OF painstaking study
and research Mr.. Hubinger has made a
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-09-21
RUFFLEs DADS DIGNITY.
The Young Baseball RoOtcr Causes
His Pnternal TO Feel Too
Prominent.

He is a Chicago board of trade man, dig
nifed to a degree, has luXuriant, bushy side
whiskers, clean chin and upper lip, and he
dearly loves baseball He also has a son
six years old, who loves the game as dearly
as does his father, and while the elder enjoys
the playing in a solid, placid, contented way,
the boy bubbles over with enthusI aSm and
outroots all other rooters.
During the last Chicago-St. Louis game
father and son sat in the grand stand under
the intense strain Of knowing that st. Louis
had two men on bases and two out, and If
the man at the bat made a base hit the score
would be tied The latter smote the ball
heavily. 1t scared upward and onward, far
back into what the baseball reporter calls
'the left garden"
Left Fielder Ryan was there, and, after a
long, hard squirt, caught the fly on his finger
tips and held it. The crowd screamed joy
ously and the small son of his father nearly
went out of his skin for gee. The father
merely smiled with dignity.
Finally the crowd ceased its yelling after
the left fielder had dotted his cap thrice.
There was silence as he walked to the bench
twirling his blond mustache with either
hand.
Then, with his fathers clean shaven upper
lip in mind, and with a voice that drew the
attention of the assembled hundreds toward
his devoted dad, the six-year-old rooter fair
" yelled: 20, pap, don't you wish you
had a mustache like Jimmie Ryan 5 Chi
CagO Tribune
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-09-21
CURRENT TOPICS.

STAIN has lost $40 600, 600 in colonial
trade.
AMERICAS carpet mills employ 10, 700
women.
A woMAN's hair is said to begin to
turn gray at So.
FIVE per cent. of all Europeans are
trained soldiers.
SOME New York boiler-scalers enjoy
the eight-nour day.
CINCINNATI is to have cooperative
antitrust distillery.
THE cemeteries in and around Lon
don cover {, 1000 acres.
PARCHMENT used on the best banioes
is made from wolf skin.
Or thousand persons only one
reaches the age of 100 years.
THE proportion of married persons
to single ones is as IS TO 1000.
The Congo region exports about
5, 600, 600 walking sticks year.
THE combined population of Europe
and America isiabout 300 000 900.
TALL persons have the advantage of
greater longevity than short ones.
THE number of summer hotels in the
United States is estimated at 90, 600.
THERE are 8, $50 600 persons in Lon
don who never enter a place of wor-
ship.
THE church OF Notre Dame du Port,
at Clermont, France, was built in the
year 1905.
PERSONS born in spring have more
robust constitution than those born at
other seasons.
OWING to the dry, cold atmosphere,
not a single infectious disease is known
in Greenland.
FRANK II. BURFoRD, a 15-year-old
boy. has been admitted to the bar in
Guthrie, Ok. T.
AT Wardbury, Norway, the longest
day lasts from May 81 to July % with
out interruption.
A FEW weeks ago the Krupp factory
turned out its twenty-thousandth large
gun for European armies.
MRS RICHARD p. BLAND is collecting
material for life of her late husband,
the famous congressman.
The first automobile club of Ger
many has just been organized, and the
duke of Ratibor is the president.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-09-21
pITH AND POINT.

a boys first family ties are his moth
er's apron strings Golden Days.
Never ask questions of man who
is very busy, or of woman who has
pins in her mouth.-Atchison Globe.
"Pa, what is stealthy step?" well,
Jimmy, it is the way a burglar walks,
or woman who is trying TO catch a
chicken Detroit Free Press.
Hewitt 1.-THE Bible isn't up TO date
jewett-"W What do you mean?" Hew-
itt-"Itdoesn'tsay that man shouldn't
covet his neighbours wheel" Town
Topics.
New Cook-"Then I'm not to wear
your bonnets when l like?" Mistress
Mo; but think how large your
wages are!' New Cook (haughtily)-
MY liberty is not for sale. detroit
journal.
MA" said the young fly, what are
all those flies doing?" That's fy-
paper said her mother. Keep away
from it." "Oh! They look as if they
were holding a convention and couldE' t
adjourn. Puck.
Walton Ito fishermonger) just
throw me half a dozen of those trout"
Fishmonger Throw them?" Walton
Yes; then l can so home and tell
my wife / caught 'em. ! may be poor
fisherman, but I'm no liar."-House-
hold Words.
Remember, boys" said the master,
"that in the bright lexicon of youth
there's no such word as fail" After a
few moments a boy raised his hand.
swell, what is it, my lad?" asked
the master. II was merely going to
suggest replied the youngster, that
if such is the case it would be advisable
to write to the publishers of that lexi-
con and call their attention to the
omission. STRAY Stories.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-09-21

discovery, which he considers the
GROWING event of his wonderful
career, and which is embodied in a
new article of commerce, known as
Red Cross Starch (Red Cross trade
mark) He is planning to distribute
millions of packages of this starch to
the housewives Of America, at merely
nominal price to the consumer, in order
to make its merits known without de-
lay. Thus, for but 5 cents two large
10c packages of Red Cross Starch may
be had together with two magnificent
Shakespearean views printed in IL
beautiful colors, or q Twentieth Cen
fury Girl Calendar; or for only 20
cents 10 packages of the starch and
the entire series of eight Shakespeareau
views and one Twentieth Century Girl
Calendar-views alone easily worth
S1.00. Watch this paper for future
premium announcements, of which
every lady will certainly want to take
advantage.
While Mr.. Hubinger will devote his
best energies to the manufacture of
this new and wonderful starch, he will
not retire from the various financial
enterprises in which he is interested
street railways, electric lighting plants
and the Mississippi Valley Telephone
Co, with 10000 telephone subscribers
in Minneapolis and St. Paul-nor viii
his augmented activity interfere with
his social obligations and exercise of
the splendid hospitality which he dis
penses at his palatial Keokuk home.
Mr.. Hubingers family, consisting of
himself. wife and four children, is the
pivot around which his activity re-
wolves, and while fond of promoting
great enterprises, he is still fonder of
his home circle, where he spends every
moment of time not taken up by BUSH
ness or public cares.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-09-21

UNCONTROLLED GARDEN CART.

UNCONTROLLED GARDEN CART.
ing, of course, with the use the cart is to
be put to- If to be used by the boys of
the farm it should not be large. The
handles are bolted to the axle, and
frame made of 2 by As bolted to the axle
and handles. This frame should set so
that about third of its length will
reach in front of the axle. This will
give the proper balance when pushing
load. A platform of inch boards is
nailed to the frame, and an end put on
by means of straps of iron, to insure
strength. Removable sideboards are
made of wide boards. Holes are bored,
three along each side of the platform.
Pins are driven into the bottom of the
sideboards to correspond and fit into
the holes in the bottom of the platform.
At the upper side, on the front end of
the board, is a staple into which a hook,
fastened to the front end of the box,
slips when in place and holds it firm
There are many places about a farm
where this cart will be found conven-
lent. Fig. shows the cart complete and
Fig. 2, one of the ideboards.-Ohio
Farmer.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-09-21
A Narrow Escape.

The man with the court plaster on his
nose was talking about cyclone and what a
narrow escape he had when one of the group
asked;
Where were you when the cyclone hit
your house,"
Down cellar" was the reply
you knew it was coming and had fled for
safety"
"Oh, no. had jaw with my wife and she
had locked me up in the cellar half day
previous
"And when the house went a-fying frag-
ment hit you on the nose?"
"Well, no. My wife hit me on the nose the
day before she locked me up"
"Then what about your narrow escape
from the cyclone?" persisted the questioner.
"Why, suppose my wife had just come
down cellar and hit me again just as the
wind picked the house up and sent it sail
ing!" answered the man with the nose
Chicago Evening News