davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-11-30
That the cigars we're A l.


That our typos are not fond of
pi. -
That there is no sense in fac
tons.
That we have no coupons to cut.
Amen.
That there are no gray hairs on
our head.
That our tinsmith says he is a
silver man.
That our time goes right on,
wake or sleep.
That the hash will be a little
more seasoned.
That justice may be blind, but
it never hesitates.
That turkeys should have four
legs instead Of two.
That we shouldn't bite off our
nose to spite an enemy.
That we don't have any births
or marriages to chronicle.
That there are no beggars here,
even subscription seekers.
That they have a couple of
expert nurses in the hospital.
That we have one Of the best
poets in the state of Minnesota.
That this is no place to attempt
to carry chip on your shoulder.
That if a man waits long enough,
he must catch up with something.
That we are all looking for a
Moses to lead us out of the wilder
ness.
That booze, like sermon about
the devil, never Gains ones con-
science.
That it is our duty to be men at
all times and under all circum-
stances.
That the entertainment on
Christmas will eclipse all like
occasions.
That the Steward will not for
get that prunes are bad for our
think tank.
That our fence is high, conse-
quently there are no tomcats
around here.
That the man on the wall at the
end of Main St. only has occasion
to raise his gun for teams.
That there are less men now
than formerly who are wishing
that they were never born.
That the man above us is going
to take little rubber out of his
neck and tack it on his shoes.
That the boys who go accounting
at the deputy's office-are usu-
ally up against the real thing.
That a great many of the boys
resemble the turkey on Thanks
giving, in that they are stuffed.
That the ferries who built the
turnpike are thinking Of organic
ing a mutual admiration society.
That the supply of loving cups
are still large, but we'll be pleased
to get the glad hand when we git
out.
That the turnpike makes things
easier for those who occasionally
use 1t, when going up to see his
honor"
That the wrinkles that smiles
put in your face are more honor to
you than those put there by
frowns.
That our best friends will never
betray our confidence, and thus
cause us to suspect human nature
in general.
That the only time darkness
overshadows our being, is when
Jimmy, the colored runner, comes
in our presence.
That we have a club ready for
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-11-30
That we are still on earth.


That politically we are in the
soup.
That our devil don't. have to
shave.
That every day will be Sunday
by and by.
That a fool and his money are
soon parted.
That oratory is not used at our
judges court.
That the choir is maintaining
it's reputation.
That we are glad we don't live
in glass house.
That we now know we can get
along without liquor.
That we can't move our residence
when we feel so desired.
That the undertaken has quit
saying "business is dead
That our nose is not red from
the effects Of bad whisky.
That a man is supposed to look
wise whether he is or not
That the fend who says Il told
you So" is yet to be heard from.
That when calling on the doctor
one should try and look pleasant
That our staff of correspondents
can't be beat-only by the police.
That several Of the guards have
taken to reading the Bible. IT'S
we'll.
That there is no wild oats being
sown here-everybody is making
sighs.
That every inmate in the place
was able to eat a Thanksgiving
dinner.
That parting ones hair in the
middle, is not an indication of
honesty.
That the couple who were mar
ried in a balloon said weddings
came high.
That it was a baldheaded man
who said that badness was a sign
of intellect.
That many a prodigal son will
be missing from Thanksgiving
reunion at home.
That if our last years book Of
resolutions has not been used, we
are so much ahead.
That Santa Claus will drop in
on his way to the good little boys
house on Christmas.
That all our enemies have buried
the axe and hain't got money
enough to buy another.
That although we have no
money, we can depend upon a
scandal gaining currency.
That our subscribers will all 90
to Heaven when they die, regard
less of where the editor goes.
That we have an imagination,
otherwise these white walls and
iron bars would look CHASTITY.
That the Board of Pardons will
grant one or more pardons as a
substantial Christmas present.
That one Of the guards lost his
pencil last week, consequently
nobody went to court that night.
That policemen have decided
that it is bad taste to keep ones
valuables when making an arrest.
That if some of the boys don't
look a leedle out, they are liable
to get it where the turkey got the
axe.
That good old Saint Peter will
smile as blandly upon the trans
gressor as he will the good Chris
tan.
That the foremen in the shoe
shops are going to turn over a new
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-11-30
That the weather is stiff.

That it is an easy thing to catch
trouble.
That stool pigeons are not
tolerated.
That rich and poor here are on
the some level.
That golden opportunities are
not very plentiful.
That business is always opening
up in Irvine shop V.
That there are no saloons and
elections around here.
That there are not more than
twelve months in year.
That all judges should possess
foresight as we'll as hindsight.
That silence is not golden, or
else we would all be plutocrates.
That the shoe company will
come around with their perfectoes.
That our soloist will not catch
cold and thus be laid on the shelf.
That the deputy's clerk is get
ting clearing on the top of his
head.
That it's too bad that pork and
beans have completely gone out of
fashion.
That if we keep this thing up it
will take all our upper and lower
case is.
That although our reputation is
somewhat feverish, we are still in
the ring.
That we are not bothered about
what Santa Claus will forget to
bring us.
That there seems to be no let up
on the number of fresh fish COM
ing here.
That we can be thankful that
we haven't any coal to buy or to
give away.
That good smoking tobacco will
help to take the wrinkles out of
ones brow.
That some people are continu-
ally looking for trouble instead of
avoiding it.
That if these squibs are not just
right, Night Guard began will
settle the point at issue.
That most men seem to think
that the Golden Rule is meant for
the other fellow to observe.
That that gentleman with the
cough will change his tune to B
fiat or else chop off entirely.
That we know that we are not
infallible. This is what prevents
our head from getting swelled.
That nobody will be compelled
to see the doctor until their Thanks
giving dinner is thoroughly SET
tied.
That if the turkeys that the
steward bought hadn't been blind
in one eye they would have been
fatter
That we editor is not thankful
in the least. He hasn't received a
cigar since he has been on the
paper.
That the assistant librarian is
soon to start an industry of his
own-by the la shaving ticket
process.
That when one of the cooks, who
is quite punster, got hit with a
cooking vessel, he exclaimed,
''stewpandous joke
That one Of the boys in the first
grade dining room is patting him.
self on the back, because he hasn't
had a crust for two years.
That there is no reason why The
MIRROR should not be an up-to-
date paper, as our critics have
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-11-30

PRISON OFFICIALS.
MANAGERS.
B, f, NELSON, President Minneapolis
EDWIN DUNN, EyOta
F. w. TEMPLE, Blue Earth City
A. C. WEISS, Duluth
DAVID BRONSON, : Saltwater
RESIDENT OFFICIALS.
HENRY WOLFER, warden
T. w. ALEXANDER, Deputy Warden
GEO. BIXBY, Clerk
B.J. MERRILL, Physician
MISS MARY MCKINNEY, MatrOn
S. j. KENNEDY, Protestant Chaplain
CHARLES CORCORAN, Catholic Chaplain
PRISON AGENT.
F. A. WHITTIER, st. Paul.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1899-09-22
ADVlCnS FROM CHINA.
Pnci7c Mni1 Steamer Brings News
From Far Cnthay.

Vancouver, b. c., Sept. 22.-Mal ad-
vices on the steamer Empress of India
say that during III" recent typhoons the
most serious disaster was at Bessohicm
mines, in The Araiheim district. Out OF
123n0 people employed at the mines more
than COO were killed
There has been hitch in the nc%otia-
tons between China and Japan with ref
rrence to the demands of the latter for
Japanese settlement in Newchwang. The
hitch has arisen from Japan's demand
for a certain tract of marsh land which
has hitherto afforded livelihood to many
thousands. of rush gatherers living in the
vicinity OF the port.
The Chinese government, inclining to
the pressure Of the French minister at
Peking has expressed a Willingness to
grant French concession at Marking I'M
der the provisions of the Tien-tsin treaty
of 1SGS provided France can obtain an
agreement with Great Britain. This
would seem to Indicate that Grent Brit
aims sphere of influence was recognized
by the Chinese government.
Italian claims are now set forth in de-
tail The Italian government claims for
it's capitalists the right to construct rail
ways from Hang to Ningpo from
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1899-09-22
THE CRAMPS STRIKE,
Pattern Makers Granted a Nine Hour
Day.


Day.
Philadelphia, Sept. %. - The pattern
makers at Cramps shipyards have re-
celved satisfactory answer to their de-
mands, having been granted nine hour
work day. This has caused feeling Of
bitterness among the machinists, black
smiths and ship joiners, who struck be-
cause of the failure Of the firm to make
the same concession In their cases.
An effort will be made to induce the
boiler makers to join the ranks of the
strikers, and a meeting Of that depart
ment has been called to decide upon
plan Of action.
The following statement was made by
an official of the Cramps company.
AT the William Cramp & Sons Ship
and Engine Building company 20 joiners,
80 of whom worked on the transport
Thomas. United States army, were dis
charged and paid off yesterday morning,
the men taking with them their tools and
all other belongings. Yesterday after
noon the usual notice was issued direct
ing the closing of the works at 8 o'clock
daily till further notice. The pattern
makers. ut their own request, were grant
ed permission to work ON Saturday till
$3.50 p. m.
1.-THE latter body is the only trade rep
resented at the works that has presented
any document signed by themselves as
employees, and their action is appreciat-
ed by the management"
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1899-09-22
RATHER EMBARRASSING.
The Sad Cnse Of the Young Woman
Who Wanted to Talk.

The Sad Cnse of the Young Woman
who Wanted to Talk.
A most embarrassing experience was
that of certain West Philadelphia
young woman who few evenings ago
attended reception, In which num-
Der Of well known clubwomen partici-
pated 1t so happened that among these
were several who had found the matri-
monial yoke an unwelcome one for
various reasons and had obtained legal
separation from their husbands. To one
OF these women, quite unwittingly,
having just been introduced, the young
woman. who is nothing If not vivacious
and conversational. addressed the ques-
ton:
'By the way, Mrs. R., don't You
think divorce is wrong9" The woman.
reddening slightly, replied:
"My dear, there are two sides to that
question Perhaps you have not heard
my story"
The questioner, embarrassed beyond
measure, stammered an excuse and
walked away. To the first woman she
met she conided her trouble, saying:
ooh, dearl have just made most
unfortunate remark. You know Mrs
K. ? Well, 1 spoke to her about divorce,
and she's divorced, you know
$50 am 1. my DEAR" was the smil-
ing reply, and once again the young
woman wished that the floor would
open under her. She felt 80 bad that che
went to one Of the women in charge of
the reception and, taking her aside,
told her the whole story, asking her ad-
vice as to what she should do.
do nothing at all, Miss l." was
the reply. II really don't think they
have any horror Of the subject SO long
as it's innocently called up. I know I
haven't, I'd l, too, am divorcee
Whereat the conversational miss
donned her hat, and, fearing to say an
other word, went home. Exchange
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1899-09-22
HOW TO STOP WORRYING.
There Is IL Sure Way If VOW VIII Only
Make Yourself Think So


1.-The usual way people set about
stopping worry is q wrong one. writes
Mary BoaIdman Page in The Ladies'
Home Journal. "That is why it is so
unsuccessful. If doctor tells IL patient
he must stop worrying, the pa tient id
likely to say impatiently: oh, doctor,
don't l wish that couldl But ! can't
If l could have stopped worrying q year
ago, l would not be i'll nowl' All Of
which is probably perfectly true. And
the doctor does not always know how
to help him, because both doctor AND
patient have an idea that it is posi- bic
to repress worry through an effort of
tine will. This Is mistake. 1t is not
possible to repress worry. You have4gSt
to replace it with something elise.
'"Let me illustrate this by figure
Suppose you were to 60 into COM
pletely dark room, wishing it to be
light How would you set about the
work7 Would you try to scoop the
darkness up in buckets andacarry it out
at the door, Not at all. You would
just open the windows and shutters
and let in the blessed sunlight You
would replace the darkness with light
So it is with worry. The only possible
way to get rid of it is to renlnce the
worry attitude of mind with the non
worry attitude. And this c;sn always
be done when the person is sincere and
patient in his desire to bri1ts It about
All he has to do is 10 lie PASSIVE, AMI lot
nature have her own pariect' way With
him.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1899-09-22
Central Vermont Railway.
Timetable.

CORRECTED TO JUNE, % 1899.
rains leave Barre daily, except sunday, a. Fn-
GOING SOUTH.
I .10 A. NJ. Nj ALL. For Boston VIA. Lowell OF
Eilcho'ny: New York VIA Springfield and
all New England points. Par.or ear :" lS7s.
ten via. Lowell, and White Rive, Junction
to New York. without change.
~ .1NP. MAST EXPRGsS. For Boston
Lowell New York via. Springfield andvia
New London. Buffet parlor carto Boston
!. 40 Pm. -Lot,ALPASSENG Err. For N RIB
field Randolph, White River Juno
uon and Windsor
LOO P.M.-NIdHT EXPRESS. Leaves Barre
week days only but leaves Montpelier Il. AZ
Am, daily including sundays. Due Bos'
ton via. Lowell daily S.l5 A. VI. Borton ia.
9itynhurg, daily Except sunday $50 Am !;
sunday 30 am. New York Except Sun
day. ll.26A.N. On Surdeyp runs to Spring
held only. Wagner sleeping car. to }ostor
via lowell "nd tn Sprirgl't 10
GOING NORTH.
80 A. M.-LDCAl. EXpRAoS. For Burling-
ton, st. Albaua. hichford Rouse' Pj.A' and
Ogdensburg Connects at tpseY Junction
}Oss p. NH AlL. For Burlington, Rutland
Cambridge junction. +, Aibans Montreal,
Norwood, Dsdensburg and the " est. "ag-
ncr tar,r Car to Montreal,
hIO +. MA PRESS for Burlington, st. 4
bans, uEd N nlraal. Ptsli'nnn sleeping Car,
Montpelier JuNcuou 20 Chicago, without
change. Due CHICAGO $40 -. next nish,,
Connects NJ hs-eX Jun1, or {ur New Tnrr
so. l.utlapd aoc ''0v.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1899-09-22
Clothed With Tar and Feathers.

Willimnntic, Conn.,, Sept 22.-Much
excitement was caused here when it be-
came known that man named John
Latham was subjected to an experience
of tar and feathers at Hampton Hill a
few nights ago. The story as it reaches
this city has it that the citizens of the
suburb had become exasperated at re-
ports alleging improper attention bestow-
ed by Latham upon Mrs. George Wilson.
Ultimately posse Of men, whose iden
tity was concealed, armed with pail of
roofing paint and bag of feathers, sur
prised Latham at the Wilson house. The
victim was called out, stripped and coat
ed and ridden about on a rail for some
time. Latham was then allowed to go,
and, it Is said. has left town.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1899-09-22
FATAL HOSPITAL FIRE.
st. Vtncent's ut Norfolk rned-OI
Body Recovered.

Body Recovered.
Norfolk, Sept. 22.-St. Vincent's hos
pitnl has been destroyed by% fire. The
blaze originated in the room of Miss Egg
erton of New York, patient. A mos
quito netting blew against a gas jet, set
ting the woodwork in the room afire. The
flames spread with remarkable rap;dty
but, although there were nearly 125 per
sons in the building, all but three escaped
One body, that of Miss Mcclure, Il pa
tient. was found at 10 o'clock today. Two
other persons are missing Three fire
men named Barrett, Foster and Fisher
We're probably fatally injured
The engine company from the navy
yard was called on to assist, and United
States marines did excellent work in res
euing nvaids. The naval hospital was
thrown open and received the rescued pa
tients. The building was owned by the
sisters of charity. The property loss is
estimated at $150,O00; partly insured.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1899-09-22
A Gold Standard Bill.

Chicago, Sept 22.-Congressman Jo-
seph W. Babcock Of Wisconsin,, a mem
Der Of the Republican caucus financial
committee which this summer drew up a
financial bill. said to Times Herald re-
porter at the Auditorium: THE bill
agreed upon by the committee and to be
introduced at the next session Is in my
possession. 1t provides for formal
declaration in favor of the gold standard
If 1t becomes law, the country will be
avowedly and explicitly upon the gold
basis. The senate committee has not
yet concurred but there will be no prac-
tical dife ulty between the committees
of the two houses. The bill is likely to
pass both houses
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1899-09-22
Mutual Aid.

Fronl,tle time that the mother binds
the.chipls head till the moment when
some KIND assistant wipes the damp
from the lrov of the dying we cannot
exist with )ut ilJltt!Gl aid. All, there
fore. that need aid have a right to ask
it from tier fellow uiortals. None who
holl the poM'a: Of granting aid can re
fuse it without r11ilt
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1899-09-22

l'ek1ng 70 ShansY hnd from canton TO the
western borders of the province Of
kwang and us combinations Of the pro-
lected British railway system. Italy also
claims the right to establish Italian
schools throughout China.
Canton reports say that the imperial
Chinese troops, after trying vainly to dis
perse Saichui brigands, themselves
wreaked great destruction on the vii
lagos, killing a number Of innocent peo-
pie and practicing great cruelty. Chill
dren under 5 years had their necks
wrung, and those over that age were put
to the sword
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1899-09-22
Claim of New jersey Volunteers.

Washington, Sept. Ex-Governor Voor-
hees of New Jersey again saw General
Weston regarding the claim of his state
for supplies to the New Jersey troops.
The commissary department will furnish
the governor the date upon which sup
plies were received from New York for
the troops, and the claim of the state
will be for supplies previous to that
time, which will be determined by CORE
SDondence
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1899-09-22
A SiENDiSH WEAPON.
It Wol;!d kill and Leave No Mark to
Tell trsf t'..lf

81 have handle. Il good N ny out
landisl weapons, said New Orleans
curio dealer, "but here is little in
str1uncnt that for pure dia1ollsm beats
anything | ever saw in my life l
bought it the other day from Norwe-
gian sailor, who tolls ne it was given
to him by Jap at ',okoIlama-;. story
that you may take for what 1t is
worth. "
As he spoke he opened show case
and took out what seemed to be an Or
binary Chinese marking brush Of rather
large size. The. handle was some ten
inches long and the dialneter Of lead
pencil by giving it a sharp twist it
separated about hand breadth from
the end, n, ter the manner of sword
cane, I'D attached to the smaller piece
YVES & slender glass rod with needle
point Tho red was not much bigger
than knitting needle, and with the
handle it had the effect Of a very small
and d9lit%.c stile:to
II sho;.ld think that would break If
1t Were used TO stab with, remarked
visitor af IT examining the contrivance
"CertaInly it would replied the
dealer, ";nd that is where the fiendish-
ness of the thing comes in. Look close
ly at the glass rod and you will see a
tiny grooN filed around it about two
inches from the hilt. Suppose that it
was driv n into the body of a man, 1t
would be certain to break at the groove
md woal1 leave at least three inches of
glass buleG in his vitals' The puncture
would be 81 small that It would close
When The s;''.. :, vas drawn out. and l
doubt exceedingly whether single
drop of blood would follow. In other
words, the victim could receive his
aleathblow without knowing exactly
what had happened. TO him. He would
fesl shock and pang, but find no
wound, and meanwhile the assassin
would stick his brush together and go
abtalt his business. -New Orleans
TiInes-DeluOcrat.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1899-09-22
For Sale.

The use of the four boxes at the
Barre Opera House will be sold for a
year, the purchaser to have privilege of
ontrolling box purchased at all enter
tertainments that are played under the
regular opera house management, but
not where the house is leased by the
night to other parties. For sale price
consult the manager,
w. w. LAPOINT.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1899-09-22
A CHlLD'S FANCY.
Explanation OF What Seems PrecO-
ciousness In Imaginative Children.

Explanation OF What Seems PrecO-
ciousnesS In Imaginative Children.
IAN active, healthy imagination is
one of the happiest gifts child can
possess, " Is the theory advanced by
Florence Hull Winterburn, the well
known padiologist, in The Woman s
Home Companion.
IF we watch an intelligent child,
four or five years old, who believes him
self unnoticed we will probably be as
tollished at the richness and fertility of
the fancy which can give life and color
to dull, commonplace things and weave
whole stories and dramas around the
simple toy that means nothing more to
US than what it plainly stands for. But
we will perceive that even his widest
romances found themselves upon many
facts, for free and frolicsome as imagi-
nation may appear, it Is subject to its
laws. 1t deals with real things In q
playful way. 1t embroiders paints,
holds, but it must have It's material.
its basis in actual life.
"What we call creative ability is
really nothing but the power to recon
struct, perhaps to connect several sep
arate plans or patterns into a whole
which seems different from the original
The child is an artist who daubs on his
colors boldly, without any sense of the
absurdities he may commit, and so he
often pro luces effects that surprise 9th
ers as we'll as himself. Many Of the acts
that seem so precocious because we sup
pose them to be the outcome of a well
considered plan are really happy acct
dents, nos devoid CT the merit of orig
inality. bit neither to be overpraised as
work Of genius. Childhood is one I'M
broken suecN.aiOn Of expnrinentingsL
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1899-09-22
Peter jackson SeriousIv Ill

Victoria b. c., Sept. 22.-Peter Jack
son, the pugilist who has been giving
number Of sparring exhibitions through
out the northwest, has returned from
Vancouver suffering from a severe at
tack Of pneumonia. He was ordered to
the hospital and it is feSFsd he cannot
recover.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1899-09-22

*Daiy. DAILY except SUNDAY.
Wagner Parlor Cars to Boston and \. Y.
fWaner Sleeping Car, to Boston and New
York.
For detailed time tables consult folders.
{. l.. Pierce, II. A. ltbhge,
Gener, superintendent, Traffic Manager.
Il. 7. McKeever, Gen. Pass AGENT.
Barre evening telegram. (Barre, Vt.) 1898-19??, 1899-09-22
May n Woman Tell Her LOver

1t is true it is unconventional for a
woman to tell d man that she loves him
unless the man has persuaded her to
make such confession But is there any
good reason why a woman should not
take the Initiative? Is she any less
woman for doing sol A shy and timid
man may net know how to tell WON
an that lie loves her. Should the woln-
an. who isnof firner faith and stronger
mind, stand hAlting and waiting for a
confession that may never Gomez Why
should she suffer in silence? BY so do
ing may 81 not lose the man who loves
Ler ana al 80 til. happiness Of lifetime
nsbyyell?-Nev York World.