Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
tanned THE JOCKEYS.
THE NUGGETS EACH HAD A BAD CASE
OF SWELLED HEAD.


ut is a notorious fact" said an old
horseman, that successful jockeys
are more afflicted with the big head
than any other class of midgets you're
liable to meet up with. On two occa+
sions that l recall I've seen American,
walters take prominent America
Jockeys down when the latter have DC
come insufferable in their conduct
Some years ago an eastern jockey
whose fame was spread broadcas,
throughout the racing world was tax
ing dinner with party or foolshl9
idolatrous friends at the Cliff House
outside Of San Francisco. The jockey
had been riding during the winter rae
ing in and around San Francisco, ana
on this day he had won the swell event
of the year on a rather no account
horse. Consequently his hat was
whole lot too small for him.
"He was an insulting little chap at
best, but on this occasion he simply
let his tongue run away with MS
brains. His humor took the turn or
joshing an old time waiter at the CHI
House who had been in California
since the days of the Argonauts. The
old man had long side whiskers, ana
the Jockey made sundry and divers re-
marks to the waiter about the oppor-
tunity he was giving to the wind by
wearing whiskefs Of that particular
length, and the old man took the talk
good naturally without paying much
attention to the touch Of nastiness In
the midget's remarks. Finally, how
ever, when the wine had gone around
pretty freely, the jockey reached up
behind his chair as the old waiter was
In the act Of performing some little
service for the men at the table, and,
twisting his hand in the hair on one
side of the old servitor's face, he DELHI
erately pulled out fairly large hand
full of the latter's whiskers.
1.-THE old man leaped back with pain
and Indignation, the Jockey laughing
at him idiotically. Then the waiter
coolly lifted the jockey out Of his chair
by the scruff Of the neck, sat down
and calmly deposited the midget across
his knees, face downward.
"'Son,' said the waiter, there's
something that you've stood in need Of
for a long time past, judging from
your actions here during the past few
months, and that something you're
about to get and get good and he
brought the palm Of an ample hand
down with q smack that sounded very
pleasant indeed unto the ears Of all
the rest of the people in the room Tex
cept the Jockeys friends) who had
seen the beard pulling incident. Then
he brought both hands into play, and
the rataplan told of splendid execu-
ton. The jockey kicked and strug-
gled, but he couldn't break loose, and
he had to take his medicine. Then his
cue, and, quickly letting the jockey
slide on to the floor, the old waiter,
thoroughly aroused, jumped up and
knocked them down one after the 9th
er. He just polished them all off in de-
tail, and when he had got through with
them he stood his ground. Then the
manager appeared on the scene, and
Nucu lC "dS lOiO ny VI olll-
er guests, prominent men, what had
happened he assisted in kicking the
party out of the house.
Another time a jockey who leaped
into prominence with meteoric speed
by reason Of his winning two of the
great events Of the eastern turf in
quick succession got the worst of it at
Aha hnx % T.In
saw the incident myself. The jockey
had had such a mighty accession of
the Il am it. spirit that he considered
he could perform all sorts of mean lit
tie tricks at the expense of all hands
and do the same with impunity. On
this day he had won three straight
races, and his imperiousness was
something monumental He took din
ner with three bookmakers ON one of
the big COney Island piers. The man
who waited on the party was a bullet
head, but q quiet, attentive man at
that. He was removing some plates
after the second course when the jock
ey picked up siphon of settler and
deliberately squirted half the bottle
full In the walters face. The waiter
wiped his face and his shirt front off
with his table towel and then he walk
ed up to the Jockeys chair and said:
"'Have you had yer dip in de sea yit
t'day, FreddyY
ono said the jockey, with an eX-
preston of surprise on his face, as if
he wondered what was coming.
"T fought not said the bullet
headed waiter. OATS de reason I'm
goin t. let you have it now
Then the waiter suddenly picked
the famous jockey up, and before any
Of the men at the table could interfere
he carried him over to the railing of
the pier and dropped the midget horse
rider into the water, about Is feet be-
low.
II jist want t. see if de little
| snoozer wit de swelled nut kin swim
as well as he kin ride horse said the
waiter, quietly watching the jockey
come to the surface and strike out.
The jockey could swim, and he made
the beach without any trouble, but he
didn't return to the pier."-Washing-
ton Star.
Missing Time.
What do people do with their sur
plus time? They used to weave the
cloth their garments were made Of and
u1nl -n hty hn, H.,