The record-union. [volume] (Sacramento, Calif.) 1891-1903, 1899-08-14
PROVED HER OWNERSHIP.
"Posey, Old Boy Recognized in a
New York Court.

This parrot did not ally itself VIII
the Prohibitionists. 1t was totally lack
ing in any moral sense, not having any
| responsibility concerning a life of rectl-
tude here in order to escape warm re-
| ception hereafter.
No, this bird was utterly and hope
lessly immoral. Gratitude did not ex-
list in the gizzards beneath it's creme de
menthe feathers, and that is why Poll
played truant and left it's owner, Meyer
Posnek of No. al Charleton street,
Newark, N. j.
1t would have pleased the immoral
element of the community if the bird
had made straightway for a church
building, and dealt forth homilies and
platitudes from the front steps.
This was not that kind of a fowl
Nary! This bird wended it's bowlegged
wabbly course straight for the nearest
saloon. Jacob Haufier was the Presi-
dent, Secretary and Treasurer of this
thirst quenchery, and the bird hoped
on the bar, with the remark:
well, old boy, set 'em up; set 'em
up!"
Haufler held a cocktail glass by its
dainty waist, and was about forming
the crook in the elbow that puts sc
| many otherwise decent citizens ION the
bum" Hauf1er dropped the glass, which
behaved as glasses ordinarily do on
such occasions.
'Well, I'll be -" muttered the Wis
itor; iii take mine straight"
| Now saloons are bad places to see
green birds, animals or reptiles in diff
ferent hues of the spectrum. The sa-
| loonkeeper was a little "leery'' at first
but the uncanny fowl cooked his head
on one side, allowing his shutterlike
| eyelid to droop wisely, and the "bar-
keep was won. He sent out and bought
a cagei and installed the newcomer as
| assistant back of the bar Here Pol
rendered himself, or herself, invalu-
able. When the customers would slow
UP in their orders and buyers would
stagnate a few, the bird would shout
Wake upi WhatI it be?" or some
| thing similar, and business would re-
| yive.
Posnek heard the birds voice giving
| orders on Monday as he was passing
and, rushing into the saloon, he claimed
! the laxative fowl. Haufer refused tC
I -
| fight ensued The case was taken tC
court, and Judge Schalk remarked:
We'll, We'll leave it to the bird. Who
owns you?"
"Posey, old boy" answered Poll
standing on one leg, with the Other
! raised so as to form a 4. Lets go r
| get a drink
THE birds yours, Posnek," said the
| Judge, although it's the first time
| ever took testimony without swearing
| the witness; but I'm not sure that this
| witness appreciates the nature of ar
/ OATH
Get out, you! Gimme beer" yelled
! the parrot.
| II may be mistaken about the oath,
said the Judge deubtfully, "and"-
| Get out, you, Whose treat is it?'
asked the bird, walking up and down
the rail of the Judges desk.
Take the-I mean, take the bird
away" said the court.
| Poll gazed around the courtroom with
a look of disdain. Noticing a Hebrew
| peddler standing in the line of prisoners
| the. birds optic caught the colporteur's
/ nasal projection. Poll rubbed one claw
/ over Ills, VI ucI, Dtdh, lOOh dIlolHtI lOoh
at the Hebrew, and burst into uproar-
| ious laughter.
| "Ha ha hal" shrieked the bird. "he's
! got my nose; he he ha hal" and the
/ parrot was hustled from the room. Not
before, however, it had mastered the
court proceedings
You're drunk. Posey, old boy" he
! shrieked. going down the street, thirty
! days or So"
"Posey, old boy" placed the parrot
under his coat and made for home.
! Poll was seen at Posneks home yes
/ terday and was in the dumps. The
court experience had affected Poll
| Ten dollars or ten days" yelled tbs
green pet. with hysterical laughter.
You would hit your wife. Ell? Six
MONTHS and other sentences were all
the bird would say. The old blithe in
vitation to take drink was missing
and Posnek fears that Polls life has
been ch 7ged by the courtroom expert
! ence.-Phiadelphia Times
Infantile Humor.