The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-27

printed in his newspaper, Push, this an
nouncement: The coming of the Boss
OF them all, The Baby, in that sweetest,
most stirring and most popular drama
in all the word, The Home in five acts
of surprising interest, as follows: Court
ship, The Honeymoon, The Family,
Hustling and Breaking Up; full of the
light of laughter and the rain of tears,
and visions of heaven in the common
pools of earth; written i'm the noblest
blank verse, with many striking situa-
tons and original eatures, by the great
Author of All, at California, Mo-, Tues
day, October ), 1899:
The fourth and positively last APP
pearance under the present management.
'33-bright, beautiful boys-3.
''1-dear, sweet little girl.
''Three of kind beats two pair.
''1-mother, the best and most patient
woman on earth-1.
''1-father, who really doesn't count
i
Gin the cast Count them-6
THE Youngest has not yet been named,
and the audience may suggest names
for him without extra charge. He came
on the fourth anniversary of the birth
of his only sister, and also the anniver-
sary of the death of his grandfather
Kansas City Journal.
Mammal
Yes, dear"
Mamma, is it twoo at God makes
mems out o dust?"
That's what the Bible teaches u.s."
'Well, 'en. mamma, it mus a bin rain
in when Uncle Jack WIZ BORN
Why, what do you mean, my dear"
well, when lection time wuz here
an Uncle Jack wuzn't lected alderman,
papa he said at his name wuz Mud. .
Detroit Free Press.
'Ive hit a money making thing at last
The preachers will go wild over it. and
it will sell like hot cakes. It's church
contribution box"
Friend-''What good is that?''
Inventories a triumph. The coins
fall through slots of different sizes and
half crowns, shillings and sixpences land
on velvet; but the pennies and halfpen-
mics drop on to Chinese gong. Sydney
Town and Country Journal.
-:O:--
In his new book, America Today"
William Archer reproduces the following
as examples of American humor: "On
board one of the Florida steamboats,
which have to be built with exceedingly
light draught to get over the frequent
shadows of the rivers, an EnglShman ac-
costed the captain with the remark: L
understand, captain, that you think moth
ing of steaming across meadow where
there's been a heavy fall of dew We'll
[ don't know about that replied the cap
tain, ibut it's true we have sometimes to
send a man ahead with watering pot ;
Again a Southern colonel was conducted
to the theater to see Salvini's 'Othello'
He witnessed the performance gravely,
and remarked at the close: That was g
mighty good show, and [ don't see but
the coon did as well as any of EN- A
third anecdOte that charmed me was that
of the man who, being invited to take a
drink, replied: No. no, / solemnly prom
ised my dear, dead mother never to touch
a drop; besides, boys, it's too early in the
morning; besides, I've just had one'"
-:O:--
Wife-'I received letter from our
country cousins today saying three of
them would like to visit us for month
or so. | sent a reply this afternoon
Husband (anxiously)- did you
tell them we had?'
Wife-"SmallpoXv'
Husband Great Scott! You've put
your foot in it now. That's what you
told them last year when they threatened
to comet Brooklyn Life
Sir Redvers Butler is credited with
being of that type of officer whose
butchers bilr' is rather more likely than
not to be large, says the Tip of the
Tongue" in the New York Press. That
be is not a person who will allow any or,
binary considerations to swerve him from
what he thinks is his duty was shown at
dinner in his house not long ago. A
certain well-known man was present and
told an anecdote which was so ''off- color
that the ladies were excessively dis
pleased and distressed
When dinner was over Sir Redvers
rang the bell
Mr.. As carriage" he ordered when
the butler appeared
early said Mr.. A., and there was a
CLEAN Of defiance in his eyes.
Sir Redvers did not reply but he took
Mr.. A. by the arm, and led him gently
into the hall. 1T is time for you to 60