Montgomery County sentinel. [volume] (Rockville, Md.) 1855-1974, 1899-06-30
Ideal Friendship-Part Q,


Not ever be too curious for boon,
Too prurient for proof against the grain
OF him you say you love.-IennysOR.
Superficial indeed must have been the at
tention bestowed upon things about him II
a man has not early discovered that human
friendship has its spring in selhshness. The
nature of business partnerships, relations in
sttuted for interest, marriages contracted
for worldly betterment or mere convenience,
are sufficiently convincing to any who has
not private reasons for dreading to admit
the truth. There is an active principle
which moves to deeds of heroism, selt-abne.
cation, helpfulness, world lifting, redeeming
but it bears no kind of relationship to what
is known as friendship. Indeed, its grand
est display has ever been upon the persons
of enemies There is no approval OF char
acter, no congenaity OF association, no cor
respondence in sentiment, nothing but con
tradictiOn and opposition; yet in all, an I'M
firing effort to benefit the object of the action.
There is no thought Of self, but its absolute
crucitixion. This is what makes duty so
superior, in endurance and power, to love.
There is comparatively little long sustained
affection between married couples; but in
Vulnerable examples where sacred duty is
religiously performed, out of respect to honor
and the commandment. Long since, love
persisted by the way, but duty plods on to
the grave. The individual Is, in this case,
suppressed but friendship depends for its
existence upon two. Where the sense OF
duty, the last to yield, has lost It's controll-
ing power, human ingenuity, disregarding
supreme law, has provided short cut to
freedom.
To make plain how seltishness taints
friendship, | remark upon few of the sub
jective emotions, illustrating by familiar ex-
amples. Take that OF pity, which Is said by
philosophers to be excited by the secret fear
that contemplated wretchedness may some
time be our own. That a transfer OF misery
may be effected, and from beholder we
may come to be a victim. Thus, a man sits
near Il good fire, in snug house, surround
ed with comforts. Outside the tempest
RACES, rain beats upon the roof, md howl
ing gusts rattle his strong windows. Then
he thinks OF the traveller who is out on the
road the terrible night; thinks OF the poor
seaman, whose wakeiul wife, and anxious,
cowed children, may lose him towever this
hour, swallowed up in the fury Of the storm.
How, now, if the traveller or voyager were
he! It's pity but its root is self. Subject
the mind to rigid scrutiny, unsparingly dis
sect its motives, and see il even in this pity
some modcum Of sefishness is not detected.
Look on the happy, the uninitiated in earths
woefu suffering, aud mark their inability
TO sympathize and then observe the deep
lines OF panied reflection scatt cred
Der foreheads clawed by cruel carrion birds
OF liic's experience.
We do not censure the lack of power to feel
the depths OF anOthers woe. We believe
the Z is IN many the earnest wish, the hon
est effort. They do not even understand, as
| yet, that the utmost stretch OF their concep-
ton falls far short of the reality; that their
heart struggle to realize fails for lack OF
nuwledge. No man ever did really sym.
pathlze with a stricken parent till he had
followed for himself the little white coffin to
the grave. God evermore mercilully shields
us till time when we must fitted 10 be COM
iorters. If we wish to absolve ourselves,
| to get the approval of u true mans con
science, and secure the paudlts Olthe infal
| lible Judgment, we must rid ourselves Of
| sell consciousness, see neither irlendnor foe
IN an object OF our sublime devotion, and
aim only at the absolutein right.
What IL true OF pity in the concrete, is
| likewise true OF benevolence. 1t is excited
first by pain at beholding suffering. The
poor little ragged, shvering child, gazing
upon the warm clothing in the stores, in
haling with the breath OF starvation the
delicious odors OF the bakery, holds out his
trembling hand for charity, and instinct
shoulders, All, If that were my boy Merci
fu God. If that were my boy Yes, that's
the heart pang that moves the hand that
opens the purse Excellent the end, though
the motive be mixed with clay. The first
thought is to remedy personal pain, and it
is removed by administering relief. See
how fictitious misery represented In scenical
performances produce barren tears, cheap
signs, readily given, in the view of painted
sorTows, while the heart Is steeled against
real woe. Many a silly female will weep
copiously over the distressed heroine of a
trashy novel, while the empty headed and
hollow hearted tool has never deemed IL
worth her while TO knock at an INDECENT
widows door. The difference lies IN the
fact that she fell the imaginary evil, and
struggled To be Tree from the communicated
pain, without knowing or desiring to know
the distresses OF a real, living human sister.
Self was touched. The Levite and the priest
still pass by on the other side aud leave the
suffering stranger in the hands of thieves
Even when the action bears on It's face some
thing of the features OF genuine benevoence,
il is too often mixed with self-indulgence,
or unholy pride Sell congratulations at the
goodness of the deed we have performed
just particle, grain, suspicion of the
"God, thank thee, am not as other men,"
In my Jersey City Passionate | MORALLY Of
tended a member by touching this sore spot
in the human heart, and, In inter ignorance
that he would make the application TO him
self, being really charitable man, turned
a strong "friend" u into bitter enemy.
Showing, first, that the philosophy herein
taught is absolutely correct second, that II
Is never safe for a preacher to understand
men too well, If he has the courage TO tell
what he knows. The consciously guilty are
the only people who resent the presentation
OF truth.
II what we call "love" be, as philosophers
argue, the product OF the two sentiments
or emotions already named, 1t Is the hid
eOus child of base parents; and that human
friendship, as characterized aud exhibited,
partakes largely of these elements no one
will deny. How mean, how mixed, how
base IL shows, upon analysis, may be seen
in the nature OF its objects. Ia many in.
stances contact and familiarity are only
needed to change detestatatiOn into ap
proval; for, as "Pope" truly says;
"Vice ia a monster Of so frightiul mien,
As 10 be hated needs but to be seen;
Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face,
We first endure then pity, then embrace.
Elevated spirits suffer humiliation at
the perception OF a large admixture Of pas
sion with the purest affection, and regret
fully admit the rarity Of the genuinely Pla.
tonic. The animal Ia man debases, careful
only that its demands shall be supplied; in
different TO virtue, merit, accession and
progress OF those purified motives and con-
secrated powers that seek separation from
the common and ignoble. The ultimate
elimination of the animal will give eternity
10 love. While it abides, 10 change lightly
from an object TO one more pleasing, for the
moment will threaten,
As one stops hole upon flute,
At which new note comes and shapes the
tune.
To get any comfort, any rest, out Of life
TO gather strength for inspired venture and
and meritorious achievement, this constltu
tional weakness must be taken into the ac-
count, and the vulnerable heart forefended /.
There Is no known way 10 shield youth