Evening star., 1899-06-03
PlCKPOCkET PHILOSOPHY

pect us to engage unintermitten in our
lifting if not elevating, profession without
committing amusing mistakes once in a
while. Indeed, ours would be an arduous.
not to say a monotonous, profession, did
not these humorous little errors occasional
ly creep into our operations. Some of them
really embarrassing, too. 1 shall eluci
date:
About three weeks ago, while stroling
through one of New York's great depart
ment stores. l came up behind handsome,
stylish woman whose street costume SEEM
ed to me- from the rear view which I had
of it, to be in sngulariy good and refined
taste. incidentally, her diamonds appeared
to me to be quite uneXceptionabie in re-
spect to their whtenesS and briliiance. AS
l walked behind her L observed her in the
act of slipping quite plethoric pocket book
into the right-hand pocket of the cerise
silk-lihed coat which she carried over her
ann. The sudden impulses one has are
strange, are they not? Now, 1 felt myself
really coveting that lady's pocket book. So
l slipped up to her when she got close to
one of the busy counters surrounded by
crowd. and-weli, one does abhor boastful-
ness, truly enough. by my Geftness Is so
well known among the members of the pro-
fession that it were sheer mock modesty
for me to affect to speak dcrogatorily of
my skill. on this occasion, however, L
made the slightest possible miscalculauon
us TO the precise lraCtlBh CI Il second WLell
to withdraw my hand with the pocket book
Being just that fraction of a second too
late, / was compelled TO give just q bit or
a tug in orGar to secure the pocket book,
and the lady felt it. She turned her beau
tiful countenance upon me. Her eyes were
filed with reproach. Fancy my humiliation
when l recognized in her one of the best
known lady pickpockets and shoplifters on
the continent. l cannot recall any moment
in my life filled with modification. My
o.I
a time l was quite stunned by the unpar-
donable nature of my trans2ression, so
lacking, as it was. in good taste, not to
say common cOnsderation-thu to violate
the devotion which one owes to his pro-
fessioral sisters. 1t was, of course. too
late for me to return the pocket book. L
oyerh card her give the order to her coach-
man to drive her home when she left the
store. however. and, hastily jumping into a
cab. / followed her She was with her huS-
band in the smoking room of their resi-
dence whan l arrived. and her husband
one of the best-knOwn of the goid-brick
operators and green goods nell On Manhat-
tan ISland-eXploded with laughter when,
the picture of embarrassment, ] handed his
wife her pocket book, with many apologies
for my stupidity. He advised me to aban-
don my profession and take in plain sew
ing for a living and otherwise twtted me
all in fun, of course; but the lady was cN-
ceedingly clever and kindly about the whole
transaction, and succeeded by her gentle
manner in some degree restoring my pro-
fessional self-respect. In the course OF the
luncheon which | took with them, she told
me that she herself had only recently been
guilty of abstracting, from the rear. the
pocket book of an aged ex-judge for whom
she entertained the liveliest feelings or
gratitude, because on an occasion lew
years previous he had doled her out six
months when he might quite easily have
made it three years.
See how much more fortunate you are
than l.! she exclaimed, playfuily. You
were enabled to at once return my pocket
book to me- whereas | was compelled TO
keep the old gentleman's. which, to my
inexpressible grief and modification,
found to contain more than 500!
And then, one does such iEeXcusao'e
things sometimes. out Of mere temper.
Truly, an uncomfortable temper IS the sad
dest of all human Affections. | recall an oc-
casion on which I succunloed to tcinper-
not boiSterOuSly. nor Indeed openly, but the
foolish temper was there, nevertheless. 1t
was in Chicago. during the progress OF the
worlds fair. One afternoon New York
detective recognized me in tho Fine Arts
building-I devoted 80 3rt-aEd ne
quite uncercmoniousiy took upc! himself
the task of escOrting ne down toTn TO a
train, thus to see me- out CT tEo city. re-
sented this. ! was doing exceedingly well.
and | was looking forward with feelings OF
lively anticipation to Illinois cay. whe-.
all of the-er-jays throughout the state
were expected to enjoy the 2e2HtIcS OF tie
white city. l did not tell The detective ths.
| resented his nfiiciou5nesS, nor cd iEd!-
cate as much by my manner, Eut / assure
you that l was really sacthiEH WITH anger
within. He put me on tram eouhd TOT
ST. Louis, and was sufficiently persistent
and deliberate to sit in tie sSat with me
until the train should pull cut Of the sta
ton. 1t was at this point that l suecuinbed
to my temper. I fooishiy deprived that Ge-
tective of his 3-carat diamond i:ir-rather
yelowish In tint, ii is tr.lc-his watch-a
# SyyiS n
his wallet, as he sat there in tie seat be
side me. He jumped from the train wien
it began to move without noticing his loss.
and l, too, jumped when the train slowed
up at a crossing only mile from the sta
ton. Then | walked to another station and
took a train for New York, full of self
reproach over my action. L could not but
suppose that the detective would be In
some degree prejudiced against me, as it
were, when he discovered the absence of
his valuables, and | knew that 1t was his
intention to remain at the exposition until
the close thereof. Thus I quite completely
barred myself from further participation
in the enioymentS of the fair, all due to
a foolish inspiration of temper, and, what
is worse | have been compelled to remain
more or less out of the view of this men,
Der of New York'S Investigating corps ever
since.
And yet, our profession has its compen
sa tions, too. An affair in which | figured in
Cincinnati a few years ago was source of
fired sense of justice, and my almost fatal
is'ic appreciation of the laws of balance
ard adjustm A Cincinnati detective
had been moved, during the progress of
the big annual music festival, TO take me up
on suspicion, although there was no specific
charge against me. There being no specific
charge against Ele, l was detained IN
witness room until the departure of train
for the east. which 1t arranged 1
should take-the police do take so much off
ones hands in the matter of arranging
these things, you know. While l was
awaiting the hour for the departure of the
train another prisoner was ushered into
the witness room in which 1 was-er-con-
fined. then, if so vulgar word must be
employed / am of a sOciable disposition
and l was not long in ascertaining from
this gentleman that he was the cashier of
a savings bank that had gone to the wall
on the day before, and that he stood under
the accusation of embezzling funds be-
longing to widows and orphans. A certain
hang-dOg look about that man convince ed
me of his guilt, and | gave him a severe
reprobating mentally. l determined, how
ever, that mere mental castigation was
not sufficient. l knew that he had not been
searched as yet-one is not searched before
being temporarily placed in a witness room
you know-and / determined to deprive him
of portion of his ill-gotten gains-as the
police reporters Say-SuDDOSipp he