The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1899-12-24
TANNING OF A LANDLADY.
THE GENIUS OF THE PROMOTER
ADAPTED TO ETRRrDIr LIFE

Scene That Confronted the Major wb.,
He Got Home-skiil That Turns Def.,,
Into victory-vnlue of nm Unpaid Chect
Twelve Weeks Board still Owi,s
Copyright 1889 " c. D. Ler,s
when Major Croioot reached his boo,di,,
house there were surface indica tons Of ttoub,
There was a policeman hanging about tho ftor,
steps the Majors trunk was down in the from,
hall; several boardcrs were lounging about with
expcctant looks, and the landlhdy had evidently
made up her mind TO do or die II took the Msio,
Just thirty seconds to realize tho situation Tn.
landiady was about to address him when he hc,d
up his hand TO Interrupt her and blandy observed.
my dear Mrs. Roberts, Ihavc favor to ask"
1t won't do no good TO talk 10 me-" she replied
"will you do me the favor to hand me a sts,..
ment Of my Indebtedness believe owe You n,
Ave or six weeks board II not TOO much t,ou.
be"---
you owe for twelve weeks and II won't do any
good TO talk"
IF not too much trouble" continued the Major
with dignity. Il should like a statement II may
I've twelve weeks, az you say pay but ht,l.
attention 10 these trincs. Indeed you may max,
IL out for twelve weeks and then will draw YOU
a check for the amount have been very busy,
as you know, and II have caused you any ncon.
venionce am sorry for H."
"You-you will pay" gasped the landlady. "A
she stood and stared at him.
Should you want three months in advance You
can have II az well SO long as I'm drawing A
check might as well make IL for 5000 or $500 A.
s75 or 500. II might b. well, while am eating
my dinner for you 10 return my trunk 10 my room
and give the policeman hint 10 move on. Come
10 my room half an hour hence"
The Major not only ate a square meal, but ate
II with his usual dignity, and he was far from he.
trnying thc fact that his feelings had bccn injured
by the landlady's want Of confidence in his finnn
cinl integrity. Soon after he had finished and
assembled to his room the landlady followed him
The look Of determination on her face had been
replaced by ono Of anxiety and solicitudc
"Sou you sec. you owe for twelve weeks
she explained as she handed him tho bill
"Exactly--l scc." he replied rs he received
H. Twelve weeks nj 81 week IL ssi Sorry
II you have been inconvcnirnced Don't you want
5000"
"Oh, Major I'm sorry II hurt your feelings-
she protested.
Il must say that my feelings have been LAGER.
atcd to an extent, but am TO blame for H. Twill
write you a check for ssI Should you want
loan during the month 5000 s5O0-s1. 900
please let me know. There you are. my dear
woman there you are. II is your due. and
that your want of confidence in my financial
integrity is something Of a shock To me- One
should pay for his room and board, Of course
but where one is organizing, evolving, promo.
ting and organizing 10 the extent Of millions"
know. Major know. interrupted the land.
tell about your schemes You took me in ON TWO
o. them. and MAS Ia make millions, but haven't
seen even dollar yet"
layed until frozen out | let you In on the ground
hooI but You didn como to time"
played with the check. 1asked, some Of the board.
cIS abou! 1t, and they said your schemes were
The Major looked at her in a plying way for
a couple Of minutes and then got up and walked
to And fro Tor time before he said:
MY dear woman. You have common sense
II you didn't have you couldn't run boarding
housc You must let common sense guide you
confidence in my financial integrity have set
out 70 make You millionaire Your timidity
you few facts You have heard Of Egypt, Of
ii think have. she faltered.
-One Of the oldest countries on earth In con.
nection with Egypt you must have heard Of mum.
mics"
Very we'll. Egyptian kings. queens prince,
Eearsaso Their bodies were preserved in spices
osities Every MUSEUM must have its mummies
Same with all side shows and private collectors
price aimos, every family would have one in placs
ola plano Dol make myself plain?'
You have a piano here. for instance. It's
tuned about once in fifteen years You have four.
teen boarders and roomers Every evening they
II you had $50 mummy in the paror don't YOU
see how much more educational and entertaining
II would be- No drumming no squalling-no
complaints To the police but the fourteen would
gather around the mummy while some one reads
Egyptian history. You must follow me-you can't
help but follow me, Can't you realize that
II every public school had Its mummy the general
interest would I've enhanced 100 per cent? Can't
you understand that saloon had a mummy
on exhibition u would beat any sort Of music or
free lunch
"Yes-but
mand for mummies IL firm and steady. There
Is always a scarcity in the market They are
simply simply PICKED up here and there in EEyp with
day-this evening-right of now We Organize
The Mammoth American Mummy Export Com.
a business Of buying and selling mummies We
deal only In the genuine article, and we tackle
wears. Every, mummy Warranted TO have been
OF royal blood -, No common plugs bought or
There q clear proht of 500 on every one ha ndl led
and well handle 100000 per year right along
Do you want anything better than that
III SEEMS all right" doubuully replied the land
And there you are, and there you nre" replied
the maior as hc reached for the check. Il have
paid You my bill; You turn around and use this
check TO secure $50, 900 worth Of stock at ground
moor hgures. Dividends will 20 up Ia 100 per
cent at the very least, and II can work you III
as secretary I'll do IT, Woman. permit me 10 con-
gratulate you Tomorrow YOU can go and order
you first bushe of diamonds
liut you've taken the check away from me-
she protested.
>. certainly You must protect your stock ~
II can't be held for you II must be plain 10
you; II can't help but be plain. We INCORPORATE
and the certificates will be ready IN
as We may decide Ia send you 10 Egypt 10 do ths
buying You We got To be posted. or those fellows
over there will work oil scrubs on You for kings
and queens. My dear woman.
"Bnt, major, | DONE
but you do-you must--you can't help H.
ana now as shall be busy the rest OF the evening
l u say good night and go TO work Not word
not word. You are in with me and all will
be right and again congratulate you and ask
your pardon for overlooking my little indebted.
keep still"
Major Croiout II
But the Major was ON the other sid, of The door
and the door was locked.