Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-01-07
WHEN JOBSON SWORE OFF

Jobson took his swear-off smoke shortly
before midnight on New Year eve. He
hadn't told Mrs. Jobson that he was going
to quit smoking forever, nor did she sus-
pect It until he threw the butt of this
swear-off cigar into the fireplace with a
good deal of theatrical effect and an
bounced:
MY last smoke Not for a year only
but for good. I'm through with tobacco
forever, Mrs. Jobson. l wish you'd take
all of my pipes out of my sight and stow
them away in the store room. l don't want
| to see EN- around. Not that they would
tempt me, but I'm sick of having them
about. I've wasted too much time, money
and opportunity during my life on tobacco.
I've been thinking it all over lately, and
that's why I've drawn my last Whit of
tobacco. don want TO see any smoking
gear around this house after tonight
But put in Mrs. Jobson, don't you
think you'll find 1t rather hard to give the
habit up SO suddenly? You've always
smoked, you know. And, then, I've got so
used to the smell of tobacco around the
house that I'd really miss i'll like the
smoke from your cigars. Don't you think
it would be better just to limit yourself in
your smoking? l have never heard you
complain that it was hurting YOU
Just you give me credit for knowing
what l want to do, Mrs. Jobson, If you'll
be so kind said Mr.. Jobson. I've re-
solved to abandon the use of tobacco now
and forever. and wild horses are not going
to change my determination in that respect
I'm just few more than seven years of
ago you'll remember
Mr.. JobSon was pretty nervous after
breakfast on New Year morning. He was
accustomed to lighting pipe Immediately
after breakfast, and on New Year morning
his breakfast of buckwheat cakes and
three cups of coffee formed an especially
suitable foundation for a good long. COM
Portable smoke over the morning papers.
He was on record with reference to the
smoking question, however, and so he did
not take the smoke. He fidgeted around in
his chair as he read the papers, and then
locked out of the window, leaving the news
of the day mostly unread. His next-door
neighbor, a man employed in the same
office as Jobson came in an hour or SO
after breakfast for little talk. The next
door neighbor was smoking a fine cigar
when he entered, and the cigars fragrance
niied the house. Jobson gaZed longingly at
the cigar and'inhaled its grateful perfume
81 eediiy.
After his next-door neighbor had left.
Jobson put on his hat and took a short
walk. When he returned he mooned around
the house ainlessly, like a man that didn't
Know what he wanted nor where to find it.
mrs. Jobson watched him furtively from
the tail of her eye, but said nothing job
son couldn't sit still and read his papers.
SO he went up to the attic and began over
hauling all of the old chests of drawers
and scattered everything all over the floor
lfien he came downstairs again and tried
70 read some more. He fidgeted again, and
when Mrs. Jobson addressed casual re-
marks to him he snapped at her.
1 do wish the man would light his pipe
and smoke like he's been doing ever since
We were married. eighteen years ago." NUT
tered Mrs. Jobson to herself. but she didn't
dare say anything of the sort aloud.
Jobson didn't have any praise for the New
Year dinner. The dinner, In fact, didn't
I'M lt Ia
and suiien throughout the meal.
If he'd only saturate himself with nico-
tine now, said Mrs Jobson to herself
perhaps there'd be some living with the
man. or all the crazy notions, his giving
up smoking, that's such a comfort to him.
is just about the craziest"'
Two or three men friends came in to see
Jobson after the New Year dinner They
threw away their cigars upon entering the
mouse: but after they had been seated for
awhile, one of them said:
Il say, Jobson, give US puff at one of
those nicely-seasoned pipes of yours will
YOU? I've been smoking cigars all day, and
I'm laundering for a pine"
So Mrs. Jobson went up to the storeroom
ana brought the pipe tray down. Jobsons
friends each chose a pipe, and soon the sit
ting room was clouded with rich. opaline
tobacco smoke. Jobson RATED around in
his chair like a small boy In church, and
appeared to be mighty ill at ease
by the way, Jobson," said one of his
friends, why aren't YOU hitting the pipe
yourself"'
Il m not feeling just right today" replied
Jobson.
oh, | guess there's some hope" said
Mrs. Jobson TO herself He doesn't want
to go on record with these men friends that
he's actually sworn Off
Jobson didn't smoke once on New Year
day, nor did he take smoke before leav-
ing the house for walk down town on
Monday. When he returned from his walk
about noon he took pound box OF ex-
pensive tobacco out of his overcoat pocket
TWO new briarwood pipes, and he carried
box Of good cigars in his hand. He spread
them all out on the table
Il want you distinctly to understand Mrs.
1ohson, said he, addressing his wife in a
voice OF authority that this is my shack
ana that L m a-going to smoke around here
uht!l III black in the face if | want to-
ana ! ~ not going TO be called down for it
either. L don't care whether the smoke gets
INTO the lace curtains not, I'm going to
smoke anyhow. And the next time you try
10 bui doZe me into stopping smoking for
any such cheap reason as that you want
10 stand by Tor trouble and a whole lot of