The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1899-12-23

and the bounding kangaroo to once
more dwell among us. Let us fill
the air with the tremulous song of
the skunk and build new lair for
the hippopotamus.
A happy thought strikes me!
Why not 60 in the animal business.
Every farmer could raise enough
whales to supply himself, and make
whaling more pleasant for his boys.
Thirty whales to the acre would
beat ordinary farming and bring
down the price of blubber. The gi-
raffe is another crop that would sue
ceed in Ohio on small farms with
lofty atmosphere. Then the lion
might be transplanted and made to
feel at home. He has good appe-
tite and can be trained to feed out
of the hand. They grow quite fond
of their owner. Any family could
afford to keep a few lions, for there
are always enough book-agents,
peddlers, hoboes and other debris
around the home to feed them. A
full grown lion without any educa-
ton brings $4,000. These are free
hints of mighty possibilities.
l am glad to note that the culture
of the more common animals is be-
ing undertaken with splendid sue
cess. A few weeks ago I stopped
in an Indiana town late at night and
a silvery-voiced hackman took me to
the ''leading hotel" 1t was low,
rambling structure, presided over by
a gentleman with retreating Goth
ic brow. His brow retreated clear
over to the rear top of his collar,
like the path of a Kansas cyclone.
He gazed fondly at me and asked if
| wished to leave my diamonds in
the safe. | decided not to leave
them, and he asked me to pay in ad-
vance. Then he led me upstairs to
room 81 and departed. Wearied
with the journey hastily retired af-
ter turning off the gas, and attempt
ed to wrap myself in slumber. But
in ten minutes | became conscious
of vague disquietude. Another
presence seemed to be in The room
and | trembled at being locked in
the dark with nearly dollar in my
wallet and strange presence.
Cold, clammy dew stood out on my
brow. Then something like an ac-
cusing conscience stabbed me in the
back, followed by a rapid fire of
stabs, and with a howl | sprang
from the bed and landed in the bos-
ON of cane seated chair that was
waiting for such an emergency to
collapse and skin me in true hotel
fashion.
I lit the gas and investigated the
scene of the stabbing. Holy smoke!
/ was not alone. | judge ! had
about three millions of the liveliest,
blood thirstiest companions in that
bed humanity knows anything about.
They seemed to have all turned out
for tender victim. | smote them
like Sampson among the Philistines,
and then tried to sleep on the floor.
But they rallied and charged on me
again and [ fought them back and
took up strong position in the
rocking chair where | defended my
self hand to hand till morning came.
1t was an awful night and terrible
slaughter. / dragged YEARLY down
stairs and remarked to the landlord:
"Say, you made a little mistake last
night. You forgot and put me in
your cimex lectularius department.
[ congratulate you on your success.
There's millions in it. You have a
bug show that will make you fam
Gus right away"
That man grew excited and his
retreating brow turned purple. He
snorted around and used language
hot and sulphuric. inferred that
his feelings were hurt and hastily
departed, as he seemed to want me
to go and assisted me out.
No, don't worry about the bedbug
becoming extinct. He doesn't do
much advertising but he gets there
Just the same. Parties who would
see him in his artless beauty should
have me direct them to this Indiana
hotel, with letter of introduction
to the landlord. Fl. ].