Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1899-12-12
BERTHE HAY,
Diplomat, Statesman and Envoy Elk
traordinary to the Transvaal.

(From our Special Correspondents, via
Marconi Hot Air System)
WASHINGTON, D. c., December II.
1t was with difficulty that l secured an
interview at the State Department con-
corning the recent appointment of
Adelbert S. Hay, son of Secretary John
Hay, to the more than important post
of British representative to the Trans
vaal.
l fortunately met one of the janitors,
who belongs to the same order as my
self. l threw him the high sign and
he promptly returned it. We were
then close friends and he impaired
the following information. This jani-
tor is virtually Secretary of State and
supplies all information that Mr.. Hay
needs. He has been in the employment
of the government for a great number
of years, and is to Mr.. Hay what Mr..
Moore, Democrat, was to Squire" Day,
of Ohio, when he held the job of Sec
rotary of State. I did not see Mr.. Hay,
as he was out with BERTHE selecting
lingerie and neckties for Berries South
African trip. BERTHE is twenty-five
years old and his pa decided that he
should drop his knickerbockers and
wear long pants when he goes as Brit
ish envoy to the Transvaal. He will
wear his little plaid golf cap, however,
and take with him a full golf outfit.
I asked my friend why the Secretary
did not pick out some other near rela-
tive that had voted oftener than Ber-
tie-one who could raise whiskers to
nearly match Kruger's. 81 will tell
you," he said confidentially, "Bertie is
going down there to raise hell with
Kruger. Mr.. Mckinley and Bertie's
papa, the Secretary, want us to get
into this muddle and help Great Britain
out of the trouble-did I say Great
Britain?-it seems that it ought to be
Little Britain, don't it,"
l acknowledged that it did.
But" said l, "do you think Kruger
has a right to recognize BERTHE? You
know that Mckinley refused to recog-
nize a representative of the Transvaal,
Gen. O'Bierne, intimating that the
Transvaal vas a dependency of Great
Britain; hence, we refusing to recog-
nize them, what right have they to give
our appointees recognition? Accord
ing to McKinley's original position, we
can conduct matters only through
Great Britain"
That's what I was telling Bertie's
papa, the Secretary; but you know, as
I said, Berthe is going down just to
raise hell with Kruger. Kruger has no
right to recognize him, and probably
will not: then comes the grand stand
play of Bertie's papa and Mr.. McKin-
ley. They will try to stir up the peo-
pie by letting on that we are insulted.
Then Mac and Bertie's papa will try to
| get us to fight the Beers, that's the
racket, don't you see?"
But" l again said, I'VE are supposed
to be strictly neutral"
That's a dead bluff" said the jani-
tor, look at us shipping thousands of
| mules, contrabrand OF war, 10 SoG.h
! Africa for the British-if you have read
Kent, or even Grotius, or u present
Woolsey, you will observe that horses
that will also include mules-are con-
| trabrand of war; instead of being a.
doubted question with us we mention
in our treaty with Colombia OF 1926
| they they must always be regarded as
| contrabrand of wal during hostility-a
leans tomorrow to the British in South
Africa. This neutrality business is a
great bluff. But just wait until BERTHE
and his red necktie and chrysanthemum
gets to South Africa, you will see ques-
lions of International law coming in so
fast that the State Department will
have to work overtime"
But Berries papa will surely find
no difficulty with them?"
Wont he?" said the janitor. do
you know how Berries papa got his
job? You know everybody was sur
| prised when Mac sent John over to
England as Ambassador. You know
how the trusts whacked up? Among
them, CT course, was the Western
Union Telegraph Company, and it had
its little say about appointments. the
same as the beef trust and others. The
beet trust put amember in the cab
met and the Western Union sent Hay