Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1899-07-15

You have never known the pangs Of
poverty. ne exclaimed bitterly. The
begin with. Indeed. ! have. said she.
warmly. Il went TO a bargain sale where
no one knew me, and found ! had left my
purse At home. Indianapolis Journal.
Al inteliiRcDt farmer has discovered
ihai by piIntlng onions ana Potatoes In
the same field in alternate rows tho
onions bcconi" SO strong that they bring
Tears to the eyes Of the potatoes in such
volume that the roots are Kept moist ANA
"A big crop Is raised in spite of the
drought.-Mingo circulator.
Widow Jacksan-"W ~. Il was like die
way. parson. My husband went ~ on de
by lightning" parson Johnson-"But 80
mustn't los" fa!th IN prayer sister Z"
Widow jackson tCompIacentlyp-"Oh no.
parson. pat proves de Lord d. answer
PRAYER NOT always IN ID way We ask fur
i. but in way datu be best for al.
hands. Judge.
Minister-"No. sir, | don't believe that
Henry VIII. Or Nero ever did 4 moan ac-
ton Visitor tasidc 10 q fricadl What
q renarkablr person. Is he quite right
In his mInd?' FTicnd-"Perfcctiy You
see, he's been preaching funeral sermons
almost exclusively fur twenty years"
Mrs. Henry Peck-"Frsj We get horse
less carriages ANA then wireless tele:;
raphy l wonder what next Her hus-
band meeklyJ-"Wifyicss mltrlmony.
perhaps"
Wife (after 0use-clcanngl-"It takes
woman 10 bring urder out Of chaos 81"
Husband crushing wildly around after his
beionSingSt-''It takes a woman to MAX.
chaos that looks like order.-N D.
Weekly.
What makes You stand still and let
mat man taih horses 10 YOU by thu hour?
You are no; interested N racing No.
answered the amiahle citizen. but Id
cost MIN hundreds q dollars to learn all
that horsc-talk, lis ought 70 have SOM.
fun for his muney.'-W aShin.ton Star.
one Of Many-"You are not very fond
Of surf bathing, Ire YOU asked heI
friend Not very replied the gir in the
bathing SUIT MY affection tor salt W.
ter Is merely platonic. puck.
II don't sec" said F'lossic. throwing d
torpedo on the ground with bang.
how they manage 10 blow up big SIM,
with one Of these things" ''Oh. you girls
cant expect 10 understand about suta
things" said Tommy. in d superior man
are about Il hundred times as big. and
they use a derrick 10 lift them ANA drop
them on the ship. '-Iiarrcrs Bazaar.
Maria. do You fecl any symptoms "
YETI Not Yet '.WcH. you'u better
not nave It this year At ali. I've lost loo
much money on wheat. Chicago TIL
hume.
Mamma-"Susie, what 40 you mean by
all this noise? Sec how quiet Willie is.
our game. He's papa coming home late
and I'm you.''-Tit Bits.
What He has to Lcarn-Cant. Drryfus's
intimate friend VAS naIratins to nm the
principal events uf the last IKE years
1T was about this time he said that
Mark Hanna became PROMINENT IN Amer
lean politics. capt. Dreytus interrupted
him. no is Mark Hanna he askt-;.
And the intimate friCAd fainted.-ChicaSp
Tribune.
Trotting Thomas-"l wish could turn
myself INTO 4 rumor for a few mo-
ments.' Walking Wliliam-"What for?'
TIVE lily they Say rumor gains cur
rcncy. ''-Yonkcrs Statesman.
johnny: 'P;,, why IL ii they can M nj
the uead lanGua@ts:' Ia: brcau USE, my
Suu. J&cy I'VE Tor 10 short a time Ia the
memory uf those who study them.
Exception to ,he lc-Milcs-"Idin-
ness breeds u.scouttnt. No Thoroughly
Gtculnrd man enn IT, miserable. tuIrs-
''Oh don know. DId YOU ever attempt
To- amusc baby wniie IT, mother was
cut shopping.
Aa Rcprcsented-'M Mister, DO sc remm-
~: Jhut Sc said one dose az yer pms
wud make another mon ui ne father?
'les. sir: ana Jill YOU find my words
trUc: -'rhruc 10 tn wllrd. SOY. When
me father started taken them he was 4
lowe mon, an faith when he hod finished
he WAS dead mon"