davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
TaCtful.

A little tact sometimes saves a great deal of pain, and every man whose duty it Is to select or dismiss employees will find its use as essential to his own comfort as to that of the men whom he deals. The New York Sun tells the story of case which called for ex- traOrdinary tact and received it.
 The conductor was trying the voice of young woman who wished to se cure a place in an opera troupe. The manager was standing by. The candi- date was frail and timid. She finished her song with an air of distress.
 How is it!" asked the manager, un- tremendously.
 The conductor caught the pleading eyes of the girl. But he had his duty to perform. He struck three notes on the piano and left the rest to the man. ager.
 The three notes were B D.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16

The causes for whatever decline Tn interest in baseball may have come about in recent years are to be founc in the attitude of the men at the head of e-ball-their petty jealousies and their failure to run the garle IT, the interests of it's patrons; in syndicate ism. a system diametrically opposed to true sportsmanship; in the transfer ring of games and buffeting about the players of certain clubs, setting the regu.srly provided schedule at deli ance; In the rowdyism which goes un- rebuked and in the miserable method of appointing and assigning umpires.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
Things to Remem,er.

Never forget that women are made out of girls and that men are made out of boys; that if you are worth less girl you are a worthless woman. and if you are a worthless boy you will be a worthless man, and the best educated men and women once did not know A, B. C." that all the things which you are learning had 10 De learned by them; that the efforts spent in making others happy will in some way add to your own happiness; that 8 life of usefulness and helpfulness is worth many times more than life Ot pleasure.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
NON OMNIS MORTAR.

In the teeth of the gale that hurls me back, In the swirl of the ebb that sucks me down, Fl, tide by tide and tack by tack,
 Threading the Night where fanged rocks frown, Ere the last spar fail, shall have somehow crawld To that Port whence shone no light for me, Where wrecked, if you will, but unappalPd, I shall know am stronger than my Sea!
 Arthur J. Stringer in Bookman.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
Serum Factories in Russ;a

In Russia eleven labora tories are en- gagged in the manufacture of diphtheria serum, in which the entire people place great confidence, and not without req son, as in 44,631 registered cases in which the serum was used the death rate was but IA per cent, against 31 per cent. of the 6,507 cases in which it was not employed.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
HUMOR OF THE WEEK
STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
 OF THE PRESS.
O4ds Carious and Laughable Phases of HRman Nature Graphically Por- trayed by Eminent Word Artists of Our Own Day-A Budget of Fun.

''They say that Cupid kindles tn foire av love-" unused the janitOr phil Osopher. Will, if he does he stops rOight thor Who iver hurrud av Cupid kindlin' tn foire in tn kitchen range on frosty mornin'? If tn domlstlc man ixpicts iny breakfast he runs down in his stocKIn' fate an applOyS thor match himsilf. An thOt ain't no minstril joke, aither."
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
R=ChS Ht T,1SI,

Count Kickoff, did you see th, young lady's father at the wedding" "Yes. monsieur; he was there to sL. ze things about ze daughter"
 ITO say things about her. cOuntT' '"TO tell on her. monsieur"
 Tell on her? What cOGld he tC! 'ount:"
 "Oh monsieur. Ze EanGliSh tonr;lr Q full of ga twists and Ze Wrig slr. iit perhaps he was there to give l., way"
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
Hnrii Annts-

"It's no use of talking" remarked stubb. "a woman can't tie a good knot"
 That may be-" said Penn. but they find no difficulty in knotting q g0Od tic if you doubt me come down and I'll show you my new scarf that Clara wore Sunday"
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
Not in His Repertoire.

"A musician out of work, are yOu?" said the housekeeper. Well, you'll find few cords i'll the wood shed Suppose you favor me with an Obli- gato."
 Pardon the pronunciation, madam" replied Peripatetic PadroOsky, but Chopin is not popular with me- Catholic Times.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16

A man in the East has deserted his wife because she made unpalatable custard pie. Yet there are worse abuses of the pie habit-she might, Tor example. have made them of dried ap- plaq
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16

After the wars in the Philippines and South Africa and all other disturbing issues are settled it will probably be found that Don Carlos has kept pre- tending right along without missing a
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16

If human existence is relieved of its struggle, the New York Sun is afraid that the human race will multiply too rapidly for the food producing abilities of the earth and that in consequence famines and scourges will come. That is MalthuSian to the core. There is no present prospect, however, of human existence becoming a picnic. 4 paucity of children is becoming the rule in many families of the middle class. as we'll as of the families in the So-called upper classes. If 1t were not for the influx of the foreigners to this country the population would Got increase very rapidly. The native" populations are not multiplying as rapidly as they used to do. The collaborating is largely per formed by women who are foreigners by birth or of immediate foreign de scent. The States where foreigners have not settled in large numbers dur ing the past generation show a com parauvely low rate of increase in popu- lation. The chances are against popu- lation multiplying in excess of the 1ood producing capabilities of the soil. It should also be borne in mind that the limit of the food producing capabil- ities of the soil has by no means been reached. It will be reached only when no man undertakes to cultivate more than ten acres of ground and makes that produce as much as is now har- vested from an eighty-acre farm. Whether that can be done or not is question, but the productiveness of the soil can be greatly increased and the population sustaining power of the soil can be multiplied many times over.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
ReJucur XDc-S "a.

Bingle-Well, old boy. how are yo; gettingalOng Business improving any Jingles (Struggliug merchantI-A 1t tie. I've succeeded in reducing expense: about S15 week.
 That's encouraging. How d.d you G' it."
 Married my typewriter. New To: Weekly.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
Not Amusement.

''I am willing to do almost anything for amusement" panted the pOrtly member of the Tourists club. who had dragged himself half way up the noun tain side and stopped to rest, but this Is little too much"
 ''This isn't amusement" explained one of the other members of the club. ''This is sport."-Chicago Tribune Mime. PattI's Substitute. To some persons a poor singer may be better than no singer at all but the least musical person cannot fail to per ceiye the irony of the situation de scribed below:
 Once when travelling in the north of Ireland, an Englishman of letters chanced upon a small town which 10 his surprise, he found extensively filed with announcements of a concert at which Mime. Patti was to appear
 The price of admission to the back Of the hall being the extremely moderate one of threepence, he hastened to SC cure a seat After a long interval Of waiting, the manager stepped forward. remarking:
 Ladies and gentlemen, 1 regret to say that Mime. Patti is unable to ap- pear tonight. In order, however. to save you from disappointment. have arranged that Miss Arabella Jones Of our town of Ballyslackguthery shall 1 favor you with a sOngY-YOuth's Com | paniOn.
 A Chess Geniua. When LaSker, previous to the 1899 chess international tournament. visited Manchester he was opposed in a simul- taneous performance by an unknown player, who had obtained permission from the club secretary to take board l against the champion. The player put | up quite a fair game, but was finally mated. Then he inquired of Lasker to know wherein he had erred in the con duct of the play.
 Well" said Lasker. your play has ! been somewhat peculiar. notice that you have not once moved your knights"
 ''No," replied the player, -the fact is that l have not as yet quite mastered the move of the knights. so l thought 1t safer not to move them at all"
 The stranger had unconsciOuSly con ceded his famous adversary the odds of two knights, not to mention the handicap of his cramped position Brooklyn Eagle. Just In Time. Hello! Is that Mir. HighmuS' resi- dence?"
 "Yes.'
 ''Is that you, FannyY'
 "Yes."
 Are you alOne?"
 "Yes"
 'SO am 1. Everybody else at the Of- flee has gone. l want to talk to you a little. Dar'-
 "'Sh! Don't you know the girl at the central office is listening?"
 Darkness. was going to say may come on before I get around this even ing. It's nice day. isn't it? We'll gOodby. Chicago Tribune.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
Tn aoHi- Mn-n

"You shall pay dearly for this"' l. hisSed.
 And the person addressed d.d. for i was the coal man. who Lad just depoS ited ton in the cellar, who made th remark. Philadelphia North Amer. can
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16

"TEcy tell me-" said the man who ,ad stopped over to see the mammOtl orn crop, that prosperity is making
 lingS hum in Kansas"
 They tell you right" responded the man with the hoe; 'thars Lucy, for in- stance. told her might be able to buy her q piano and shes been hum ming ever since
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16

and the prediction Is made that early in the next century the north and, south lines will meet near the equator. To be exact, this date is placed in the year 1919, or about twenty years hence From this north and south line. also. lateral lines are being pushed east and west-one of these from Natal, another from Lourenzo MarqueZ. another from Beira to Salisbury in Rhodesia and still another from Zanzibar to Lake Victoria Nyanza, probably to connect at Tabera with the great Cape to Cairo" road. The interior will also be penetrated by roads now being planned. thus giving access to all DOT tions of the continent. TranscOntin- entaI lines from east to west will join Portuguese territory on both sides of the continent and the Germans will probably also have similar means or communication between their settle ments. At the north other lines will skirt the Mediterranean coast and thus Africa will be banded to civilization by iron rails and the telegraph, and the conquest will be complete.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
newcys Good Luck.

She-I think Dewey can he trusted selec; new Admirars uniform tha suits him, don't you?
 He-Oh yes. It isn't as if he were :: married man.-San Francisco Bulletin
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
ReaSo19 bie,

Husband-It'S perfectly disgracefui for us to quarrel as we do.
 Wife-It isn't my fault. I am always willing to agree with you if you will .3gree with me.-San Francisco Exam ;ner
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
SrOther Convert.

Miles-What do you think Of this faith-cure business?
 Giles-Oh, it's ail right. tried it once and was completely cured. MileS-I ndecd! Of what were you cured?
 Giles Of my faith in it.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
eS you think SO?"
Was Not sunerstitiou..

Robinson CrusOe was lucky, Tn sure"
 Why, yes"
 Well, didn't he have faith in Fri. day?-Philadelphia Bulletin.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16

A cigar trust with a capital of Slo,- OOO. 900 has been formed. This is prob ably the only recent trust whose prod uct is expected to go up in smoke.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16

All the same. many are in doubt whether Britain's action in the troubles leading up to this war has been caused by real gold or guilt
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
DiTI0uatic,
married Il

You fatter me-" she said. After all. beauty is but skin deep, you know"
 True" he replied. but just think of the vast number of girls who haven't got it half that deep.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
He HuoDed Tho Hard.

Alas sobbed the maiden, he has broken my heart"
 But she was mistaken. The doctor said it was oRly a ih--San Francisco Examiner.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16

The language of gloves is now being promulgated. Young men have long understood with fear and trembling the language of the mitten.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16

Willie-Pa. I've made q picture (, a horse. all but the tail. and can make that. You draw it for me
 His papa-NO. my son: you mu learn to draw your own cOncluSionS.- Philadelphia Bulletin.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16

Mrs. Langtry's "reminiscences have been suppressed, and gladness relgns again in certain high circles.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
EVERY SATURDAY

The price of diamonds is rising rap idly. We must all practice self-deniaL
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16

Wireless telegraphy is an established fact but windless yacht racing has not as yet been made practicable.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
uhurbau Shorts.

"Those people next door evidently have never lived in the country be- fore"
 What makes you think sO?"
 'I heard them wrangling last night both wanted to milk the cOw."-Detroit Free Press.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
A Brand-New Gag.
e vOu in the WAT?

Tramp-Lady. could you help d pool man dat broke his arm through Ia triOtiSm?
 Lady-Were you in the war?
 Tramp-No'm; broke it turning all organ.
 Lady-Well. where does the patriot ism come in?
 Tramp wuz playing Hail Colam- biar' ma'am.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
Facts iu fhe Caae.

Wife-I had to discharge our cook to-day.
 Husband-Why, thought you said she was a perfect jewel.
 Wife-Yes. did; but jewels. you know, are more ornamental than use full.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16

The man who sells his vote probably gets what he wants, but not what he ought to get
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
An Armed look.

"Der's one ting gat I'd like to know. Billy"
 What 'tis, Sandy?"
 ''Why can't a woman mako CP-1 luscious pumpkin pies without roilin up her sleeves an graspin' s.H-poun' rollin' pin?"
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
Delighted.

The heathen-SO glad you brought your family. We are very fond of chil- dren.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16

In a monograph entitled "Commer- cial Africa in lS99." recently issued by the treasury bureau Of statistics, an interesting cnb exhaustive account of railroads :I the dark continent Is given. One of the statements that will probably be a surprise to many is that about twO-fifths of the great Cape to Cairo" railroad is already constructed
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16

Remember this: When a man tells you his business doesn't pay, it isn't for sale.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
Safer to Sign.

Winks-I hear that some of the prom inent actresses, singers, generals and society ladies get $500 for merely sign ing their names to articles written for them and printed in the "Uppercrust Magazine?"
 Jinks-It'S true, too. Winks-Well! well! I wonder what they'd get if they wrote the whole ar ticle themselves?
 Jinks-Get laughed at.-New York Weekly.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16

Why, in writing up Colonel Simp- kins' death l stated that at s D. m Els pulse was so low that Dr. Pellets ht once gave him up," and the con founded cOmpOsitOr has made it read purse Philadelphia Record.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
Or ho4tLA a ion

''IS your husband botaniz:ngT'
 No. he is looking for the pipe and to bacco he threw away when he swOrt off smoking last night"
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
Tied Cn.

Mrs. Mann-When we were first mar ried you said l was worth my weight in gold.
 Mir. Mann-Maybe did; but what of that? l cant turn you into cash.-Phil- adelphia Bulletin.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
Blindness Sometimes Durable.

'She says she has seen only 19 sum- mers."
 50? We'll, I should think she had better see an eye specialist neXt."- Philadelphia Bulletin.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
4 Hummer.

Giles Of my faith in it.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-12-16
Trinter's istake,
Assistant-What's the trouble?

 EditOr-Great snakes! we're in for it
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1899-11-10
Costly Neglect.

If every farmer realized what 1t costs
in labor and money and precious time
to build up a run down farm, there
would be fewer farms of this kind,
says The National Stockman. Many
people let things go down almost I'M
consciously. 1t is only little worse
this year than last. Last year it was
only a little worse than the year be-
fore, and so the difference. is not no.
ticed. But if they would contrast things
now with what they were five or ten
years ago they would be shocked and
would take brace" that would do
themselves and the farm both world
of good. 1t is well for every man oc-
casionally to ask himself whether his
capital stock is going up or down. AS
a rule, the principal part of the capital
stock of farmer lies in his farm, and
if the value of his real estate is allow
ed to depreciate through neglect he be-
comes poorer as unconsciously as his
farm becomes neglected.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1899-11-10

The spider and the fly is a new game
and one that amuses everybody alike,
the old and the young In one corner
of the room sits one of the company,
to be the spider. All the rest form into
line, each having hold of the dress or
coat of the one preceding. They start
along, marching around the room. They
may sing school or other song if they
like. They must keep outside of an
imaginary line, beyond the spiders
reach The spider makes movements
to grasp one of the flies every time
they pass around and sometimes does
so. If he catches one of the flies, he
stands him in the corner and throws
some strips of white paper over his
face and head to signify that the fly is
wound up in web to be eaten later
When four flies are caught the others
retire and form a line, and then each
in turn offers the spider a gift (prom-
Used if he will release his or her favor
lite fly. The bids may be made very
comical. The spider may refuse them
all and proceed to eat up all the flies,
when the flies may descend upon him
in body and rescue their brethren, or
he may release them if the bid appears
suitable. The spider cannot step out
side the line marked for his den, though
he may reach beyond it If his arms are
long enough, so that the feet remain
inside.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1899-11-10
strength of a beetle.

The following anecdote of a three
horned beetle win give some idea of
its vast strength of body. A beetle was
brought in, and, there being no box at
hand in which to put it, it was clapped
under quart bottle of milk which
happened to be on the table, the hollow
at the bottom of the bottle allowing
the insect to stand upright.
Presently the bottle began to move
slowly and glide along the smooth ia
ble propelled by the muscular power
of the imprisoned beetle, and continued
its travels for some time to the aston
ishment of all who witnessed it. The
weight of the bottle and it's contents
could not have been less than 49,
pounds, while that of the beetle was
about half an ounce, so that it readily
moved a weight 112 times greater than
its own.
A better notion than figures can CON
vey will be obtained of this feat by
supposing lad of Is to be imprisoned
under great bell weighing 10000
pounds and to move it to and fro upon
a smooth pavement by pushing it from
within.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1899-11-10
YOUTHS DEPARTMENT.
Story of the Anxious Leaf - Spider
and Fly Game-The Strength
of a Beetle.

Once upon a time a little leaf was
do when wind is about, and the twig
said, "What is the matter, little leaf?'
The leaf answered, The wind just
told me that one day it would pull me
off and throw me down to die on the
ground The twig told it to the
branch ON which it grew, and the
branch told it to the tree, and when
the tree heard it it rustled all over and
sent back word to the leaf: do not
be afraid. Hold on tightly, and you
shall not go till you want to-" And so
the leaf stopped signing and went on
nesting and singing. Every time the
tree shook itself and stirred up all it's
leaves the branches shook themselves,
and the little twig shook itself, and
the little leaf danced up and down
merrily, as if nothing could ever pull
it off. And so it grew all summer long
till October.
And when the bright days of autumn
came the little leaf saw all the leaves
around becoming very beautiful Some
were yellow, and some were scarlet,
and some striped with both colors.
Then it asked the tree what it meant,
and the tree said, ''All these leaves
are getting ready to fly away, and they
| have put on these beautiful colors be-
cause of joy" Then the little leaf be-
gan to want to 60 too, and grew very
beautiful in thinking of it, and when
it was very gay in color it saw that
the branches of the tree had no bright
color in them, and so the leaf said,
"Oh, branches, why are you lead col
or and we goldenY' eve must keep
on our work clothes, for our work is
not done, but your clothes are for holt
day, because your tasks are over"
said the branches. Just then a little
puff of wind came, and the little leaf
let go without thinking of it, and the
wind took it up and turned it over and
over and whirled it like a spark of fire
in the air and then dropped it gently
down under the edge of the fence
among the hundreds of other leaves.
and it fell into a dream, and it never
walked up to tell what it had dreamed
about-Mara L. Pratt
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1899-11-10
Seed Potatoes.

To save potatoes for seed one should
store them where they will be kept as
cool as possible without freezing says
The American Cultivator. One who has
only cellar in which they wilt, grow
soft and fiabby and sprout long before
planting will do better to store them
in pit out of doors, if he needs many,
and, if he plants but few, buy them
of some one who can keep them in bet
ter condition. We have thought that
a part of the advantages of sending
north for seed every year was due to
the potatoes being kept cooler there
until shipped in the spring than they
are kept in the ordinary house cellar
rather than to the necessity for a
change of soil or any running out of
the potato when planted many years
on the same soil.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1899-11-10
He Isn't Popu1ar In Paris.

Senator Rene Berenger, who has
stirred up Paris by issuing a protest
against some of the proposed attrac-
lions at the music halls during the ex-
position in 1900, is one of the foremost
lawyers and philanthropists of France.
He is 70 years old and was made a
senator in 1873. He took part as a
volunteer in the Franco-Prussian war
and was wounded on the field of bat
tie. He is a member of the Academy
of Sciences, Morals and Politics and is
president of the Society For the Pre-
vention of License In Street Exhibit
lions. He has contributed literally to
many charities and is especially inter
ested in the reformation of criminals
With all his honors, however, he is not
popular man in Paris.