davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
HELPING MATTERS.
Here's q New Use, Girls. For Your
Little Brothers.

Little Brothers.
No youth VI he has not been through
the trials and tribulatiOns of courtship
has any adequate conception of what
they are. Out in the suburbs there is
handsome group of residences, and
the people occupying them are largely
community unto themselves. They
have their own set" exchange visits
instead of calls, and gossip about each
other with all the freedom that obtains
in small town.
\ young man from down in the city
regarded one of the girls out there as
his steady" and was correspondingly
attentive. At every visit he ran Il ran-
tlet. In winter there We're faces smii-
ing from the window panes, and when
weather permitted he had TO pass
groups that studied every phase of his
looks and movements as though he
were an imported curiosity.
The climax came during one of the
earlier summer evenings. 1t was light
long after the evening meal, and those
who were not in their gardens We're on
the front verandas, so that nothing
passed unnoticed. One youngster had
broken his bicycle while trying TO ride
through an old apple tree, and the lar
gest of the groups was at the scene oe
the accident. AS he approached. his
girls brother spied him.
Say" shouted the irrepressible. "are
you goin to be engaged to my sister,"
The young man hurried on as though
he did not hear the question or the
laugh that greeted it.
Don't git uppish now," called the
lad in still higher key; mother said
she'd give $40 to know how the land
laid. and I'll go snooks with you
There was an engagement within q
week. and the whole neighborhood re-
ceived immediate notice.-Detroit Free
Press.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
aYOor Eycuse.v Etc.

THAT Sims is the most resourceful
fellow you ever saw. His girl has a
pretty cousin stopping with her, and he
told~h particular that he had hired
an orchestra to serenade them Thurs
day night. AS he had done nothing Of
the kind and forgot all about it, and as
she had made arrangements to trear
the serenaders, Sims caught it hot and
heavy when he next called. How do
you suppose the rascal squared him
Belf?'
Haven't the slightest idea"
''Told the girl that the orchestra
struck on him because she sang in
church and didn't belong to the union 80
Detroit Free Press.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
FIGHT FOR YOUR BAGGAGE.
That Seems to BE the Proper Caper
on English Railways

That Seems to Be the Proper Caper
on English Railways.
"No American can ever travel on the
railways of England in comfort" said
the New Yorker, who had crossed the
Atlantic score of times. "In the first
place you've got TO play hog if you
get compartment by yourself, and in
the next it's an even question whether
you get your baggage at the end Of
your journey. Everything is piled
upon the platform, and every passen-
ger must pick out his own. If You are
two minutes late, there is nothing to
prevent somebody claiming your bag
gage. | never arrived at terminus
without Witnessing big row between
passengers. and | never talked with
fellow passenger who had not, lost
trunk or Satchel at some time or other.
In three months of travelling about
saw my trunk claimed by others at
least 20 times for assaulting the
porters This assault consisted solely
in abusing the railroad companies
about the baggage system. l finally
got so mad about the thing that l spent
two days in securing an interview with
a railway magnate at his Office in Lon
don. straightway asked him if he
had never heard of baggage check.
L have, sir he replied.
Don't you think it a good sys-
tenn?
- do. sir
Then why don't you adopt it,
Because it's n Yankee idea, sir'
q told him it was also Yankee idea
to eat oysters and asked him why he
followed suit. and he was as serious as
a judge as he replied:
'''Oh, but that's different, you know.
You Yankees swallow your oysters
whole, while we always halve and
quarter them! Exchange
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
GOT HIS CLEAN CLOTHES.
lie Had No Money, but Had Nerve and
M S,:sSN EhinamnI,

| That there are more ways than one
to accomplish a thing if man only
has the necessary nerve is illustrated
by the experience Of Il young man.
The young man tells the story himself.
so there is no betrayal of confidence
in printing 1t.
1t seems that he had big bundle of
collars and cuffs and shirts at Chi
nese laundry night or two ago, some
articles in which he needed very much.
The night was the furthest in the
week from his pay day. and he was
broke" Still he had TO have clean
linen in order TO keep an important en-
gagement.
Il didn't Snow what to do" he said
in relating the incident. Il felt sure
that the Chinanian wouldn't extend
credit to me, for it is well known
thing that Chinese laundrymen never
trust At last hit upon a scheme
Going to my room, ! bundled up all
. the soiled linen l possessed. Hurry
ing around 10 the lauudryman's, | pro-
duced the bundle
'SiXty-fve centsr he exclaimed
blandly. holding out his hand for the
coin.
Il picked up the clean linen and. de-
posting the bundle of soiled on his
counter, started for the door as il my
life depended on my being half mile
away within five minutes.
That's all right I shouted hack
in reriy. Just mark it ou that bundle.
and III pay you for both togetherr
Then was gone. but not before
caught glimpse Of the laundryman
hastily unwrapping the bundle | had
left, as if he was anxious to see wheth-
er or not the contents were worth the
Go cents l had hung him up for He
was evidently satisfied, for he didn't
yell for the pciice OF make any COM
motion, as / was afraid he might do,
and l had all kinds of freshly launder-
ed collars and cuffs and shirts to wear
that night. And all on account of
bit Of nerve. e."-Philadelphia Inquirer
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
Missing TiIirc.

What do people do with their sur.
plus time? They used to weave the
cloth their garments were made of and
make them by hand. They now get
them ready made at the stores. It
takes less time to do every act IF
drudgery than il used TO take. What
becomes of the surplus time? If we
have gained nu hour over our anccs.
tors. what becomes Of it?-Atchisop
Globe.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09

when you get in crowd, my dear,
said Mr.. Wrinkles to his wife, always
look out for pickpockets.''
'I'm not afraid of them. dearest"
answered Mrs. Wrinkles. "They can't
pick my pocket
That's just like you women" said
Mr.. Wrinkles. always so sure. Pray
tell me why you couldn't have your
pockets picked
Because haven't got any" answer
Bazar
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09

presence OF effete, poi
sonous matter. To cure
1t two things are nee
essary. Ist- thorough
cleansing of the bowels;
I'd the soothing and
cooling of the infiamed
membranes.
The first is produced
by Dr.. Pierce's Pleasant
Pellets. Two little
Pellets about twice
the size of a pin head
are a dose. They are
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
A Short Haired Remembrance.

"Your friend over there with the
very close cut hair reminds me of
somebody I've seen somewhere
Perhaps you have met some of his
relatives. The family resemblance is
strong among them. Let's see. What
was your business before you came
here?"
Il was warden of penitentiary."-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
Stretching tn Rest.

When man is tired. he stretches his
arms and legs and yawns. Birds and
animals. so far as possible. follow his
example. Birds spread their feathers
and also yawn; they open their mouths
slowly till they are round, the bones of
the head seem to loosen and the gills
open.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
HIS REPUTATION AT STAKE.
So the Colonel Promptly Took n
Sweet Revenge.

sweet Revenge.
''Who is that man hmping along on
crutches with his head all done up in
bandages p inquired the eastern man
of the landlord of the Metropolitan ho
tel at Red Dog. He looks as though
he had met with a terrible accident"
Accident nuthin.' replied the land
lord. 1T wuz nuthin but jest iern
foOlishness. That there feller-Bil
Waters is his name-he didn't have Il.
more sense then ter tell Jim PeteIs
thet he wuz a wuss liar then Cunne.
Hank Phillips, when ev'ryhody hnowi
thet the cunnel is the wust liar IN
Arizona"
and then the trouble began, sup
poseT interrupted the stranger
Not right away" answered the land
lord. The cunnel didn't hear of it till
two or three days later, but when he
did-waal, yer kin see fer yerself what
he done to poor BILL
But what grievance did the colonel
havsr' inquired the tourist. The fell
low said that Mr.. Peters was a worse
liar than the colonel"
That's jest it. Dye think the cum
neFs goin to stand by an hear a rank
amatoor classed way ahead of himself
without protestin? ?'-New York Jour.
nal
81 told him he didn't dare kiss me-"
she said. Then she added regretfuIly:
81 sized him up just right. Chicago
Post
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
A Veteran In the Businexs.

One Of the old time darkies. Oh being
asked chow he was making out" re-
piled in this fashion:
"Well, sub, times is mighty tight wild
me, but manage ter make livin."
What are you doing now?'
well, sub, | keeps de pot b'iIin by
doin little plowin, a little votin en- n
little baptizin. en- wen dey's nuttin
doin at dem three | hangs rom de
white folks en- waits 'tweli dey gifts In
de notion ter run fer office ag'inT-
Atlanta Constitution.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
HIS NARROW ESCAPE.
For Once Fergusop's Brain Acte,
Quickly Enough.

George Ferguson" sharply exciaim
I'd his wife after the visitor had gone
II wouldn't for worlds he rs big a
nypocrite as you are,''
In what way" he demanded, have
[ been acting the hypocrite!'
You know well enough. When
Cousin Jerry showed us the picture of
the young woman he is going to marry,
you said, She's as pretty as picture.
and you know she is homely enough to
loosen the paint on brick wall
George scratched his chin and re-
feeted a moment
Mrs. Ferguson-madam." he said.
don't accuse me of hypocrisy. She is
as pretty as picture-her own pic
ture''
Even then it did not occur to Mrs.
Ferguson to retort that this explanation
didn't help him any, as the photograph
surely was retouched.
And an opportunity for crushing a
husband. once lost, never turns up
again.-Chicago TribEDe.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09

twenty FIVE pounds in weight used only cpe
bottle of Golden Medical Discovery and one
vial of the Pellets. -
Piles is disease that is usually treated
locally with ointinents which are well
enough in their way but do not touch the
CdHSe.
This is where DR.. Pierce's medicines ex-
cel-they cure the cause of disease and of
necessity the disease itself disappears.
Piles are caused by severe inflammation
of the lining of the rectum and lower in
testines, and this inflammation is due to the
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09

the pleasantest cathaTtic known. They do
not gripe but they do their work.
DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery
cools and purihes the blood and acts as a
general tonic to the whole digestive system,
neutralizing and eradicating all poisonous,
irritating matter
The patient who takes these two rem
edies will not only find his piles cured but
VIII soon discover that his general health
is greatly improved.
DR.. Picrce's Pellets cure biliousress,
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
No Credit For Good Intentions.

Some people, said the boy with the
dirty face. never thank ye, no matter
what We do fur 'em. A feller put bent
pin on the teachers chair the other day,
an when the teacher was about to set
down l pulled the chair out from under
him to save him frum the pin, an, by
George, he licked me fuy itr'-Chicago
Tribune.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09

austctu3fG- N y writes {:
II was afflicted with piles for
four years brought on by
heavy lifting Ny suffering
was extreme ard the piles
gradually increased in size
notwithstanding the fact that
] TIED many different kinds
CT fs~-'-~cut. After becoming
- iicapacitated and
.lTiS al all. and after
'- ;siiou ] wrote TO
yc- very happy to state
thst VOW advice has done me
great good. You advised DR..
Pierce's Golden Medical Dis
covery, also his Pleasant Pei
lets They have cured me. i
thank you most heartily for
what you did for me. All suf
fcring has entirely vanished
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
Just What lie Needs

What in the world did you buy that
piece of land forw was asked of the
visionary citizen who suddenly decided
to take up his residence outside of the
city. "The soil is unproductive and
sour"
Good Your judgment confirms my
own. If the soil is not sour my scheme
Is failure. propose to raise cucum-
bers and young onions that are picked
In the growth" Detroit Free Press.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
Her Experience.

Miranda" said Biggs the other day
"how would You like to live in a nice
little fiat down town.
Il wouldn't like it at aIl,'' snapped
Mrs. Biggs. After living with one fol-
nearly 10 years I've got about all the
fiat experience / care for."-Kansas
City Journal.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
Distressing,

We'll. here's another case of accl.
dental shooting
Too bad. | wonder why it is that
people will go on fooling with guns
that they don't know are loaded"
oh. they knew this one was loaded
all right. 1t happened at a French
duel. Chicago Times Herald.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
1t Has Been Noticed.

"There's rather queer thing that l
have noticed about people who follow
the profession of letters"
"What's that?"
"The man who writes just TO keep
the pot boiling is not the one who pro
duces the hottest stuff" ."-ChIcagu
Times Herald.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
An Awful Strain,

Il must take Henry away in August.
IL he is alive"
SIS he SO ill.,"
mo, but his whist club. chess club,
golf club and bicycle club all have
tournaments this mmer."-Chicago
Record
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
BIiUhted Homes.

Il used to think Fordyce would make
a great political boss some day"
"And you don't think he will?"
"Never in the world. He'll never
make even a statae taemanr'-Chicago
Tribune
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09

"Our colonel is getting entirely too
risky" remarked a Filipino soldier.
'Yes," assented a comrade; "he made
us hold on TO our trenches yesterday
until the Americans got in plain view
of us."-Ohio State Journal.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
Saturday, the 10th day of Ssptem-
Der, 1899,

the following described real estate. situate
and being in the city cf Akron. county of
Summit and state OF Ohio and described as
follows. tp-wit:
Being city lot number TWO hundred and
thirty-onc t23D located in said city, Us re-
corded In the original town plat of Akron. nv
surveyed and numbered by Joshua Hem
shaw. surveyor. aud recorded in the records
of Portage county, Ohio. In volume H. an
pages 10 and ~.
said real estate Is appraised at Ss.5SnN0.
Terms of salp-Satd property can he sold
for not less than twc-tblrts Of its appraised
value. and not less than one-thirG cash In
hand, balance IN not more than two equal
payments, due In not more than one and
two years from date Of sale: deferred paN-
ments TO bear interest from the day of sale
and be secured by mortgage on said prem
iseS.
=. NJ. AIFERHOLT.
Assignee nj Rachtrl Il Pontius.
Atterholt & Marvin, attorneys for plain
tiff.
Aug 10 20 ScptsP
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
What the Science of Medicine Ha,

What the Science of Medicine Ha,
Done.
But is it-not difficult to- keep hens
In the suburbs?''
The pale, gaunt man with the hollow
eyes gestured deprecatingly.
"Oh, no. he replied, mot since the
invention of quinine capsules in the
form of kernels of corn"
OF course, now and then a hen with a
weak heart or something would sue
cumb to malaria, but only now and
then.-Detroit Journal.
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
Choosing n Term

Choosing n Term.
81 understand he has met with finan-
cial reverses"
"Oh. dear. no, He wasn't wealthy
enough for that. He has merely gone
broke e"-ChicapO Posi-
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
What is Celery King ?

1t is an herb drink, and is positive cure
for constipation, headache, nervous disorder,
rheumatism, kidney diseases, and the vari-
ous troubles arising from disordered stoul-
ach and torpid liver. It is q most agreeable
medicine, and is recommended by pfy;-ia-ls
generally.
Celery King is sold in 25c. and Soc. packages
by druggists and dealers
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
Notice of Sale of Real
Estate by Assignee.

Pursuant to an order of the Probate court
of summit county, Ohio. issued to me. will
offer for public sale on the premises ar two
W O'Clock pm. on
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09

For four years Mr.. Zingsheim suffered
with piles but now his suffering has en-
tlrely vanished and he has gained twenty
FIVE pounds
Akron daily Democrat. [volume] (Akron, Ohio) 1892-1902, 1899-09-09
tanned THE JOCKEYS.
THE MIDGETS EACH HAD A BAD CASE
OF SWELLEO HEAD.

A Spanking Over n Walters Knee
Cured One, and an Unceremonious
Tumble Into the Ocean Took the
Insolence Ont of the Other.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1899-11-16
CONSUL PETIT DEAD,
Operated ON Tor Appendicitis but too
Late tor his Recovery.

CHICAGO, Nov, IA special cable
to the Ch,cago Tribune from puss,l-
dorf. says;
United States Consul L, Petut died
today, His two nleces, the Misses Bean
N California, arrived here on sunday
November and Mr., Petit at that tim,
said he was never in better spirits, II,
complained u feeling m on Monday and
was operated upon Wednesday for an
acute attack OF appendicitis. His cas-,
was however. too far advanced wher
the physicians were called In, and theS
gave no hope after the operation,
The body will be taken home after a
funeral service here.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1899-11-16
BILL TO BE INTRODUCED BY HEPBURN
He Regards Construction Of the Waterway as Matter OF MOST
Overwhelming Importance and Says Votes Can
Be Had to Pass II.

fearing invasion Of their rights by the
goycrnuent. uni:e with the large cities
it is not likely that any efficient law
VIII he enacted"
What do you think OF the Philip
pines?"
Il think congress should take no ae-
tiou at present. and that the president
should continue to control the islands
ty military law. Our original colonists
were men far superior to the Filipi-
nos: they were skilled and traired in
self government and yet it took them
fourteen years and much trouble before
they could work out constitution and
u government. Yet the Filiplnos Want
TO accomplish all this ir fourtean
months. No, no; they should wait and
congress should walt until we all
know each other better. We do not
know enough about the Islands ye, to
act wisely regarding them. Meanwhile
they should have as liberal a govern
ment as possible"
How about currency legislation"
In Iowa We fought the last campaign
on the gold standard and the r, suit
was majority greater by 1900 than
the state ever gave in all its previous
history Yes. am in favor Of action.
''wha, railway legislation do you
recommend :"
The house has three times passed
the anti-scalping law and the senate
has killed it. Now. I think that we
had better wait for awhile and
See whether the senate will pass any
such legislation. II it will, the mouse
viii speedily follow suit. am sure. "
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1899-11-16
AS JONES SEES IT.
Thinks Bryan has Obtained a Splendid
Endorsement and is Stronger
Than Ever.

NEW YORK. Nov. 15.-"In my opin-
ion" says senator J. P. Jones, Of Ne
vada. William J. Bryan is a much
stronger man today before the people
than ne was three years ago. His own
state, Nebraska, has given him a Won
derful Endorsement. The republicans
and the gold bugs sent an immense
lot Of money to defeat him. but prin-
clple won against Doodle"
Are YOU confident Bryan will be re-
nominated"
Nothing can stop his denomination
and he will be elected"
rs not the country prosperous?"
Suppose We do have these little re-
viyals Of prosperity there Is not enough
money in clrdculation and every wave
of monetary prosperity is followed by
a corner in the money market. The
single gold standard people want con-
tracted currency"
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1899-11-16

competition OF European pauper labor
should these Islands be annexed In any
form, II means tho competition " ten
or twenty millions ot unsklllcd Malay
laborers. What this woull mean to us
It is useless tor me to cay. imperialism
means despo,ism, the end u free gov-
ernment and the return to teudalism ot
the dark agrs. Let the Philippines 80
In peace to work ont their own saliva
ton with our best wishes and such as
sistance as we may be able TO extend,
Let the army scheme be crushed with
out mercy or parley. This recognition
OF the power Of the government %
coerce the people into submission 90 Us
arbitrary decr.es is the object the plot
ters ara aiming at. This Is the meaning
Of Imperialism and once recos lized.
and a standing army allowed, liberty is
dead. capital is king and the empire
OF plutocracy rises"
He asked approval Of a plan Tor the
establishment OF the headquarters
OF the order Of a school of civic
and ancial and nnIltiral scienca his.
tory, oratory and composition, in order
that young men may qualify them
selves at nominal cost to intelligently
and ably promulgate and defend
Knights Of Labor principles and study
the problems Of the present and the tu.
ture. with the aid of all that history
and science can bring to their assls.
tance.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1899-11-16

TUSCoN. AriE. Nov. iS-Andrew
Carnegie In letter to NJ. W, Pittock,
a well known newspaper writer OF Arl-
Eona, offers the city Of Tuscon sum OF
ssS.OoO to pay for public library build
ing, provided the city furnishes a site
and agrees to maintain the institution
at an annual cost Of $4,000.