The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-05-22


EPISTLES TO ST. PAUL.
Attorney Lee s. Thomas is telling of
an experience that befell him recently on
one or the Selby avenue cars. Although
naturally gallant man. Mr.. Thomas
was very tired one. evening last week
when he secured a seat In. the car and
made up his mind that he would give it
up under no consideration.
The car filled up rapidly and there
We're several people standing when it
reached Seven Corners. Mr.. Thomas con-
tlnpeq to study his newspaper without
looking up, when suddenly somebody
pumped down squarely in his lap. The
surprised attorney looked up and saw
little Sold lady who had sat down inten-
uonally and seemed very we'll satisfied
with her position. l#
For moment Mr.. Thomas was too
much surprised to utter protest and
the other passengers commenced to tit
ter: Finally the old lady broke the 81
lence by remarking reproachfully to her
victim. Young man, did you ever have
mother
mo, ma am" replied Thomas unbush-
ingly.
The old lady arose, looked daggers at
him, and reached for strap.
Conversation overheard between two
city hall Friday morning:
First Citizen They tells me tre
Dcotch carried the day last night in the
hoord and nomsnaYted Knauft and Bantz
for president and vice president.
Second Citizen-'Deed and they did,
and it's lucky thing there's marry a
.Dootchman. in the ASSEMBLY or they d
have. done the same thing there.
a1. e ~.
''The two bikers were flying toward each
other on the narrow cycle path. They
were stout, big-calved youths wearing bits
of checked cloth 9for caps and heavy
Scotch plaid stockings. A loud whirr from
over the fence. and covey of quail
bl oke cover and hummed away over the
golf links of the Town and Country club
Each Of the athletic bikers turned his
head. fnvoluntarily. In that moment the
mischief was done The riders came to-.
gether on the'scycle path and all was
chaos. 1t was the wreck Of matter and
the crash of worlds in epitome.''
The solemn narrator at the table.
hote of a st. Paul boarding house, leis-
prely devoted his attention to a plate of
strawberries. s
Then, Of course, there were high
words, ending possibly in a scrap sug-
gested the cashieF-fof the express COM
pany.
Til bet the machines were. a. total
wreck. ventured the insurance solicitor
They tore each others coats off, didn't
they?" inquired the blonde stenographer
Il know just what they felt like. =
when they got through the ground
looked like the scene Of ten-inch shell
explosion volunteered the national
guard lieutenant
could have recommended an excel
lent lotion for abrasion of the epidermis,'
interjected the medical student. -.
II suppose neither side was particular
OH Al
try clerk.
Wen. yes, there were words" replied
the narrator, :: slowly. Naturally: the
event would lead UP to conversation, they
having been so suddenly thrown into, each
/. others society" . - s,>Egtsa
(Which one of 'em showed the most
science? How was the side-stepping and
short-arm hooks? Who landed first and
was there much infghting?" excitedly in
quired the pale young man in the
threads of the dry goods emporium.
True, there were words" solemnly
proceeded the narrator. cat least they
began discussing the accident when they
reached each other They were thrown
about twenty yards away. by the force
Of the conclusion Neither one was Sc
riously injured but the wheels were
masses of splintered steel, twisted tires
and shattered frame work. One lantern
has never been found and the bell Of the
other machine was picked up $50 feet
away by a prowling golf caddie. Yes,
they discussed the4situation."
''Who hit first? f asked. the youth in the
threads" 70 l7iL
There were no blows exchanged The
elder, should judge, of the two said:
" This is rather "a serious accident.
e" Entirely accidental, I assure you,' re-
piled the younger man. But for the sud
den flushing of the quail It could never
have happened "
'''Oh, no, I am assured of that, nv
friend, and, after all, we are in position
to congratulate each other that no bones
have been fractured, and, I trust. that no
internal injuries have been sustained
" Personally I do not apprehend any
thing of that kind. A trifie shaken up.
that's all. May ! indulge the hope, sir,
that you have suffered no more than my
self? Nothing would so grieve me as the
reflection that I had been the medium of
physical injury to yourself
" Thanks, my friend, do not allow any
such thought to perturb your breast at
this moment. Aside from slight con-
fusion on my right petella, or sesamoid
bone in the tendon of the knee, I feel no
other effects of my unceremonious and,
doubtless, ungraceful tumble
=" You have relieved my mind Of great
weight, rejoined the other, pleasantly.
May 1 ask you to join me in dip into
my flask? In an awkward emergency like
this the shock will be greatly alleviated
by slight stimulant.'
6 Thanks, again, nothing would give me
greater pleasure unless 1t were your ac-
quaintance and. possibly, friendship
" With all my heart, sir; here is my
card. Remember welcome awaits you
at my-the governor s-house at all times
when left them the two young men
were packing up the remains of their
wheels, and negotiating with a farmer
to convey themselves and outfit to the
terminus of the Groveland park car
line. 1t Is such trifing incidents as these
that convince me that"
BEG pardon" interrupted the young
man in the 'thfeads." do we understand
that you were an eye witness Of this re-
markable scene?
Eyes, and it struck me at the time that
the unusual amenities of wheel life
zone minute, please" calculated the
cashier, may I interpose an observa-
tion?' {
Certainly"
well, I'm something of a liar myself.
but you-you-wffyI you"
''Why, even ltw9I girls would, under
similar circumstances, show more spirit
than that" broke in the young lady ste
nographer.
''Why, do you consider 1t unusualf"
Impossible ~
So Impossible ~ ~
Impossible +
Impossible By chorus.
Impossible
Impossible
Impossible
Effect of Concentration.