The evening times., 1899-01-25
THE DRUMMER's LESSON.
Welcomed With Horny Hands to the
Farmers SmokehOu>e.
Grom the New York SUM

kGloH lIic MN iNiA sum-
There is q slang expression about be-
ing too fresh" said the drummer, as he
lighted his cigar. Il have adopted that
expression and written il at the head OF
every page of my notebook, so that II Viii
be constantly before me.
Last fall l changed ears at little
junction in the western part of the State
1t is dreary spot, and the trains never
connect within three hours OF each other.
Finding time hanging heavily on my hands
| wandered over to an orchard near by,
where there was some tempting looking
fruit l was so busily engaged in throw
ing stones at luscious looking apple in
the top OF one of the trees that | did not
notice an old farmer bearing down where
/ was with blood in his eye. When dis
covered him it was too late 10 flee, SO L
concluded to face il out.
' Fine orchard you've got here, said I,
opening on him before he had chance 10
get in the first word. 1t will be pity
to spoil it By running railroad through
it,
'Hay?' said he
- i remarked said I, that il will be
pity TO spoil such a fine orchard by run
ming a railroad through it. | am the gen.
eral manager of this road, and | have been
looking it over with a view of straighten-
ing out some of the kinks. have about
concluded TO run the road through your
orchard and thus get rid Of the bad curve
just beyond.
This disarmed the old man at once and
placed him in a more Conciiiatory mood.
General manager. be ye?' said he.
'Wul, come up ter the house an well talk
| it over.
Il thought the old man had something
| in the line of wet goods that he wanted
me TO sample in the hope that it might
! put me in good humoT and save his or
| chard l looked at my watch and seeing
! that | had plenty of time l concluded 10
| carry on the joke, so l followed him UP
! to the house.
As we were passing a brick smoke
house the old man threw the door open
and invited me TO inspect fine lot of
hams tha: he had inside. l stepped in the
doorway, and as I did so the o man gave
! me a shove that sent me inside upon my
hands and knees. Before l could recover
myself he had thrown the door shut and
locked it.
General manager, be ye?' he bawled
| through a crack in the door.
Il didn't think it wise to deny it, SO
| shouted back that | was, and moreover
that l would take pains TO see that the
railroad ran straight through his house.
".Wul, well talk about that later, said
| he. Member that thar bill that | sent
ye fer KILN them sheep?'
81 truthfully replied that I didn't.
'Wul,' said he, you'll stay where ye
| ar till ye do. I've got We jes' where
want ye. an if ye don't pay me that thai
fifteen dollars that ye owe me fer KILN
them sheep the railroad is goin' to be
short one general manager.
Il tried to explain the true situation
but he refused to listen. 1t was fifteer
dollars or stay where I was. While l wa:
arguing with the old man l heard m!
train whistle a mile or so off. l had al
important engagement to meet, ant
simply had to catch that train, so l poket
S15 through the crack.
1.-The old man unlocked the door and
was stepping out when he suddenly threw
his weight against it.
Poke out 80 cents more,' he shouted
What for?' l howled as / heard IN.
train getting nearer and nearer.
Fer postage stamps that l waste
writin' ye about that thar bill
Il didn't have time to argue the ques
ton, so / poked out so cents more an
legged it for my train"