The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1899-10-06
PETER L0>GSh0TT
Wants to Hear From the County Council.

~ THE Throne or TIE AwERIc a
Colony. SHEoL. SEPT. -. lsgg
OR 6bl2. ACCORDING 10 SATAN.
Mr.. NEM>PAPERNA wil
zee by the above prefix or date tbs
was successful in getting into III
good graces OF Mepii>iophele-, a.
heretofore anticipated, and got III
appointment 10 succeed Henr
Nard Beecher a. boss Of the Amer
;an Colony, and there are lott o
older politicians and preachers thar
| am was log rollin' with satan f.
he posish. but | hadn't lived
>assafras Jungle, under the beam
ing eyes Of Dutch Gus and the X i
ral Statesman without learnin!
something about electiOneering. an,
/ | promised Satan a d each II III
thousand wives a lot Of the be-
persImmons raised in the jungle
when my oldest boy gets d0xT
nere, Tor the place Satan S4-S h.
l. sure TO come, because the boy rur
ior Supervisor ot roais around tn.
Jungle, and promised every votel
ne would let them play base ball OF
pea knuckie half Of every dav they
worked the roads, and when he wa
elected he worked every one of them
ten hours in place Of eight. and
nary ball or card Wa allowed On
the road. When they told him 81
his promise he said he knew what
he was about, and wa b0~-. and tina,
that was the way Dutch Gus and
the Rural Statesman got popular
they promised everything aly voter
asked them 10, and after election
forgot all about their promises.
say, Mr. Newspaperman, wish
you would get my boy not to come
here, for liz all fired hot. and he
don't like hot weather. and don L
know whether he can bring tire per-
simmons or not. and If he don I the
old devil Will serve me like the p-o-
pie did the rural statesman. aoi
Jerk me OF my base. But III tell
you, Mr.. NewspapeIman. an old
fellow they called Plus ran me a
closer race than Soda did Dutch
Gus. and made about as much fun
OF me. too. for he j. a thoroughly
educated devil. But Henry Ward
Beecher didn't like him. and he
used 'hoOsnce for me, bat it made
me awful mad to see II. Peter
looking down the shaft from the
door and laffen.
Mr. Newspaperman, | owe an alb
lect apology to one Of the four I al
luded to in my last letter a. lacking
something. Reports received bv
Satan show that he no longer lacks
in the particular alluded u. and
take on my hat-but. hello, nv
hat fell in the blazing birthstone
and burned, and tfere no store
here ior me to replace it-well. |
make my bow to him and c0ngratu-
ate him tina. his conscience need NJ
onger trouble him on that score
,ut bighear Soda and LOgrOlIer
laven't heard from. and the Rural
and Dutch Gus will vet
make a qnartette.
Mr.. Newspap .rman. there hasn't
,een soul from Jasper come here
ince that county legislature met
nd | am anxious 10 learn what
hey done with Dutch Gus. the
ounty commissioners. and the
'auper palace, where | took nv
at breath Of fresh air. There was
Dts Of talk around the jungle and
ne palace, too, OF what they ought
} do-but that don't count. |
'ish you could send me a COURIER I
18th the proc aedin-s. But n0w I
lust close a. Satan has Just phOnei
le 10 stir up the emb-rs for the
.merIcan colony 10 dance on. Ia
ate TO, for whew it smells worse. q
possible, than a Knoxville or {
Iaysville saloon. But have to. i
Ill lose the throne. and nv c
siutifnl spear pointed trident. :
Sorrowfully, PETER LoxG-Hgrr. a
Z. S.-Mr. Newspaperman. Just :
ore | died from eating too much q
the pauper palace OF whit was u
II over from the county commits b
oner's feast, a Crawford county 4
wyef said quarre. was up b. r
Teen big heart Soda and his part- 0
r add DIR. DOse-en. all. a. to Rhich i
le was Peter Longshott. Tell EN- b
u to quarrel any more. or Plus C
" will make it hotter for EN- al il
hen they get here-ior It was Just 4
G. II. L. G
81 understand that Or. Pax a. z
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