The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-01-03
CARLYLE AS A TUTOR
AN AMUSING ANECDOTE OF THE
GREAT AND GLOOMY MAN.


He Had n FrOwn That Terrified and
a Laugh That Startled His Pupils.
The Day the Donkey Came to School
Against His VIII.
A writer in The Scotsman has I'M
earthed an amusing anecdote of Thomas
Carlyle as a country dominic, - for
the accuracy of which he vouches. 1t
was told in 1853 by Cupar Fife law
yer and provost who had been one of
Carlyle's pupils at Kirkcaldy, to the
writer and Hugh Miller. The interest
of this gentleman's "reminiscences of
his schoolmaster was heightened by his
utter Inconsistencies that his old do
mimic was the Thomas Carlyle who was
then beginning to be known to fame.
The old gentleman described the older
race of Scottish schoolmasters as always
during school hours wearing their hats
at least keeping their heads covered
and many of the boys viewing the pc
cnliar angle at which the hat stood up
on the head and how near it came to the
eyebrows, could conjecture if the saw
age mood were to be that day predomi-
nant.
"But my teacher, said the provost,
ga strict and gloomy disoiplinarian
with the name of Carlyle, never wore
his hat in the school, and indeed his
brow was so overhung with dark threat
ening that no extra expression to alarm
us was needed from his lum hatl He
did not thrash us either very often or
very severely, but we had fear that,
if provoked he would go great lengths
in punishment. | have seen his mere
scowl hush at once the whole school,"
Hugh Miller here interposed by ask
ing, "Did your teacher ever burst into
a strange laugh in SCHOOL,"
"That is very odd question, re-
turned the provost. why do you ask?
But now that 1 remember, he had at
times verv extraordinary laugh that
made us all stare. 1t had train of
queer chuckling which exploded in a
succession of loud and deep outlaws that
shook his whole body and displayed all
his teeth like the keys Of piano. He
then clapped his hands on the book he
held against his knees. Yet none of us
never knew at what he was laughing.
He had a grim smile in reproving pupils
and habit of tapping their heads with
his knuckles as he told them that the
heads would never be worth the price
of hats or the charge of barber, though
mammals and aunts had that morning
combed, kissed and blessed them, as if
they were teeming with the sublimest
inventions and designsp'
The provost saw that Hugh Miller
and some other guests were listening
eagerly, and he proceeded:
'tOne morning, few minutes before
the school hour, when most Of the pu-
pills had arrived, and, as rain was fall
ing, they had gone into the school,
donkey, which had broken loose from
it's tether on grassy spot near, was en-
tering the playground. Bill Hood and
were SO far on our way, and Bill, who
was stout and frolicsome lad-the
ringleader in many sports and tricks
rushed to mount the animal and began
to guide and force it into the school.
"With desperate squirting the donkey
was induced to carry its rider over the
Threshold, and what reception both
of them got from the juvenile crowds
Bags of books were at once fastened to
the tail and around the neck of the ass,
and SO busy wer8 Bill and half dozen
companions in urging the animal to
,Ao, tho cohnOI apA fn ocoand
the short stair of the master desk that
they did not notice how time was speed
ing, and before they could remove the
stranger Mr.. Carlyle appeared.
"We expected a tremendous explosion
of wrath, but he burst into roar Of
laughter-such roar, however, as, in
stead of tempting us to join in it, pro-
duced sudden and complete hush, and
that roar was renewed again and again
when the ass, withdrawing its forefeet
from the first step of the desk stair and
turning round, took pace or two slow
ly toward the master as if to salute him.
That, exclaimed Carlyle, is the
wisest and best scholar Kirkcaldy has
yet sent me. He is fit to be your teach
er. He tapped the donkey's head as he
was wont to do ours and said, There's
something here far more than in the
skulls of any of his brethren before me,
though these skulls are patted in fond
admiration by papas and mammas, and
though that far grander headpiece meets
only with merciless blows.
'He then gave some hard taps on
Bill Hoods head, and would not allow
him to dismount, but for penalty or
dered him to ride up and down the
school for an hour, while those boys
who had been most active in helping
Bill to go through the farce had to
march in pairs before and behind the
perplexed looking ass. He did not re-
quire the other scholars to attend to
their several school lessons, but silently
permitted them to stand as spectators
of the grotesque procession. Then he
himself, seated within his pulpitlike
desk, surveyed Bill and his company.
81 have not for years thought of this
scene, - continued the provost, "but it
has now come back to me freshly and
I remember that my old master had
very strange laugh. don't know what
has become of Elm, nor indeed have
heard of him since l left Kirkcaldy
school -