The times., 1899-08-21
THE HONORLESS ARMY.
Being the Parable of the Warrior
Dreyfus and the Abasites.

Dreyfus and the Abasites.
Now in the days when peace was and
rulers were assassinated each day before
the fast night be broken. it came to pass
that the Abasites. who dweIt in the land
of the Tower of Eiffel, had a great army.
And it was an exceeding chesty army and
was clothed in the food of the people and
wore great stripes of gold and had large
medals which had been given for TIE great
number of its rulers which had been slain.
And this army had great renown because
OF the battles which it had not fought.
And when it arose in the morning it placed
corsets about its waist and pads upon its
shoulders and waxed its hair and drank
much oil And when it appeared upon the
highways the people reioiced, saying,
Verify, yive l'Armeei" which being trans
lated meaneth, why doth not the rulers
give these feur de ley's some snow to
shovel"
And it happened that this army had
much honor and existed upon honor, and
no man might partake of the honor of the
army save he desired to lose his head
shLu IL S0tLlS W pass Audl uEOh q NCAISai4
day it was discovered that large bunch
of the honor OF the army had disappeared
and was not to be found, And the Cen
turions waxed wroth and made search for
the honor which had been lost. And the
people gathered together that they might
say, 1T is not l." And the dealers in the
market places and the scribes and aims
hunters also opened their raiment, say
ing, Search mel" And the honor was not
10 be found, and there was much tribnla-
tion in that land.
And the Chief Warrior of the army
placed great parchment upon the temple
and the parchment said unto the people,
Behold, large bunch of the honor OF the
army hath been lost, strayed, stolen, or
Baby Marioned Therefore will / give unto
him who returneth it in good condition
one large cineh and will make him even
the captain of the Hair Grease Department
and he will look like Napoleon. Nor will
/ question the returner as to the method of
obtaining the honor
And it came to pass that those of the
army began to hunt for the honor which
had been lost And the warriors eyed one
another and kept tabs one upon the other.
But no honor could be found and there
was much drinking OF petroleum and
gnashing of whiskers. And no man C osei
his eyes, fearing that his fellow might
place the honor in his raiment and cry
aloud. Behold, this is the Judas.
Now it came to pass that certain of the
warriors gathered together and held coun-
Gil, that they might obtain the soft ench
and the office which had been offered. And
these warriors were called the Centurions
Whispereasy and Rogue Yet and Ratty-
Embalm and Chickenry. And they showed
certain parchments one TO the other and
chuckled much And when the morrow
had come and the army was doing certain
struts, the Centurions Whispereasy and
Rogue-Get and Ratty Embalm AMI Chick
enry were also present. Now 1t happenei
that there was certain warrior in the
army who was of the tribe OF Israelites.
And he was a good warrior and did much
that was given account for. And tecause
that he was a good warrior he had few
friends in that army and few gave h m the
kiss of welcome. And the name Of this
warrior was Dreyfus.
Now, when Dreyfus had come forth upon
the highway the Centurions who had con-
spired came upon him and greeted him
with the glad hand, saying Verify
brother, join US in a skin of wine And
Dreyfus. fearing nothing, drank of the
wine. And when he drank the Centurions
placed the parchmepts in his raiment and
bade him farewell. And they girded up
riors that the Warrior Dreyfus had stolen
the honor which was lost and had placed il
in his raiment. And the army came upon
Dreyfus and searched his raiment and be-
hold, the honor was therel
And they took Dreyfus and placed irons
upon him and beat. him with slaves and
stoned MIN and branded him with the brand
OF Judas. And they sent him to far-off
island where devils were. and they cast
L s..s-
joiced and feasted and slew many rulers
and cried aloud. saying. a bas Dreyfus, .
and @Vire PArmee!" But there came a
great plague upon that land, and il was a
plague of suicide. And when any man had
heard that Dreyfus was not guilty he went
out and hanged himself. And when any
man had heard that Dreyfus might return
he also went out and hanged himself
And when any man had learned of the
death of the others he also went out and
hanged himself.
And the people grew afraid of the plague,
and the wise men sat in council that the
plague might end. And there came certain
other wise men of the tribe of Semeticites
who warned, saying: THE plague cometh
because that Dreyfus hath been punished
and is innocent And the plague will re-
main until Dreyfas hath been returned and
set free" And while the wise men con-
sidered. behold many more went out ond
hanged themselves. And the wise men
said: Verify, it is even so, and we will
return Dreyfus to the courts and the judges
that they may give him trial and judge if
he is guilty" And when they had said
this, Io and behold many more went out
and hanged themselves and among them
was the Centurion Chickenry.
And they returned Dreyfus and the trial
was a great trial and was written by the
greatest scribes and prophets. And when
Dreyfus would have spoken those who were
giving him justice refused him, saying
"a bas" and Traitor and Judas" and
Liar" And when the Centurions would
speak they raised their hands, saying, "AlI
this is truth and the army cannot lie. -
And there was one who would have spoken
for Dreyfus. And his name was the Cen
turion Pickhard, because he carried large
ice pick and was wise guy. And Piclihard
began his speaking, but the judges, not
wishing to hear evidence, fell asleep, and
with them the people who were in that
court And while they slept Pickhard
opened the homer of the army with his
ice pick and displayed the ''dossier' and
the '.bordereau' which had been prepared
by the Centurions Whispereasy and Ratty
EInbalm, and RogueYet, and Chickenry.
And when another man would have
spoken for Dreyfus he was set upon by
an assassin and wounded. And the army
hunted the assassin, and the end of The
hunt is not yet. And many widows ana
wives of other men sat in the court ana
cried s.Judasi!" and held great onions 10
their noses and bathed themselves in tears
And those of the other tribes of the earth
sat about and waited for the explosion. for
it is written that the Abasites must ex-
plode that the honor of the army be re-
tanned. And again many went forth ana
hanged themselves and the end is not yet
These things came to pass in the first