The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1899-12-21

1t is the fashion just now to instruct
others in every matter, however sim
pie. Here are a few hints on the art
of failure. We often hear people say
that it is easy to fail; but it is not easy
to do so completely and artistically.
Let us, then, for q few moments study
bow to fail in the different roles of life,
says the Philadelphia Times. AS an
individual: Want everything that
other people have, and persuade your
self that 0 care for nothing that Is
yours. Never want the same thing for
two days together; a change Of griev-
ance is beneficial.
AS a wife: Keep a sharp eye on
Jacks faults; never allow him to hint
that o nave any. Always tell him
of every vexation or ailment that has
leased you during the day, and, if pos
sible, begin the recital as oon as he
gets inside the door;it will distract his
mind from business worries and pre-
vent him from seltishly bothering you
with any of them. Remind him now
and then that you made a great sac
A1lCC WACA yOu lac 4SO Al1A L. .
upon him that it is ignoble to be at
tached to creature comforts. Taboo
smoking, male friends and clubs. If he
does not agree at once with any opinion
or desire OF yours, mention it again
and again-and yet again. The male
mind is obtuse. Should be appear to
object to the repetition, declare with
Sobs) that he hates to hear Q speak
and that his conduct proves %incontro-
vertibly that he wishes you dead.
Above all, shun logic. A logical per-
son never yet made a respectable fail
ure.
AS a mother: Teach the boys and
girls that home is the only possible
place in the world; that is to say,
never let them have any pleasure de-
rived from outside. Discourage the
visits of their friends and prevent them
from visiting anywhere. Tell them
frequently that young people should
not look for pleasures other than those
induced by attendance on their rela-
lions. Suppress, with a firm hand, all
noise. Explain that games and music
make you nervous, that fancy work is
frivolous, that smoking is a deadly sin
and that the reading of all books not
specially selected by you is undesir-
able. Never ~sympathiZe with young
PEOPLES fads and fancies or encourage
81 day-dreams, but question them minute
ly about ali their concerns and doings,
especially about any matters upon
which they seem unwilling. to talk
% ~oor1+sun-, o. ic ca hod for tho un11no |
When they do we'll take it as a matter
of course, but never neglect to point
cut a piece of forgetfulness or a mis-
take. And reproach them frequently
for not loving you as much as they
should; that sort of thing stimulates
a affection. i
AS a manageable maiden: Let the
men see that you are very anxious TO"
q proposal. Smile at them widely, but
snap at their sisters and fawn when
their mothers call without them. Talk
noisily, especially when your partner
is a quiet sort of man. Pick the other
girls to pieces. Giggle when you are
mot chattering. Neglect no opportunity
of getting yourself talked about. Above
all, don't be natural. but aim constant
ly at effect. If you have a small foot,
stick it out necessarily for people to
TALL over; that will attract attention
to it.
AS a social factor: Gush at big peo-
pie. AS soon as you have "got to
know Mrs. B., drop Mrs. A, who was
your last seasons catch. Accept all
he invitations you car get, and pay
hem off with a big crush reception
once a year. Always take an extra girl
TO peoples dances. Cultivate a rest
ess, anxious manner and a hungry eye.
Snap up small attentions with the avid
ty of a sparrow picking up crumbs.
Talk your scandal and make a point of
cling people your social grievances.
Ask questions of all kinds and always
Fepeat what you here. Borrow peoples
maids and menus and copy their
gowns. D.
AS a journalist: Always know better
With you, argue every point with him.
Write about what interests you; never
mind the fads Of the public of the mo-
nent. Never cram into one sentence
n idea that could be expressed in six;
BIT the world know that your vocabu-
airy is large. Work when you are in
he humor; at other times keep the Of
ce waiting; that will teach it to value
GU. Fill up spare moments by writ
~ long letters to the editor.