davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-01-08
BE l. de at Bakers Gap.
BY CHARLES B. LEWIS.


, back again. He had not yet appeared
at the house, but the ladies were not
worrying at all. The widow Childers
came out to say that she thought she
had seen Colonel Stone ride past the
house, probably bound on some errand
to the store at the hamlet, and she left
it to my Judgment to follow or remain.
AS the colonel must have missed me
long before, decided to remain. | had
missed him at two o'clock. I hung on
at the house until six. Then a couple
of captains arrived to take dinner and
spend the evening, and upon my tell
ing them about the colonel they replied
that he had probably passed me on the
road somehow and gone back to camp.
| reached camp to find that no one had
seen him, but thought | had done
$enough and went to my quarters. 1t
was three days before it was really set
tied that the colonel had disappeared
Messengers were sent over all the roads
to a distance of thirty miles, but no
trace OF him could be found In two
or three days more it came to be whis-
pered that he had committed suicide
for love of the widow, and while the
'joke' was going the rounds another
mystery bodied up. Major Pratt and
Captain Cline started out to the house
together one evening on special invita-
ton. There was no jealousy between
them, and both were good singers and
good company.
AS the majors orderly was away at
the railroad station l was ordered to
take his place, and just at dark we
rode out. | had looked over both their
horses, as was my duty, but had neg
lected my own. The ground was froZ-
en- and slippery, and we had not gone
half mile when my horse cast shoe.
| had to haul him down to walk, and
watch him sharply at that, and thus
the officers were out of sight and hear
ing in three or four minutes. / got
to the house at last, but to my surprise
found that they had not arrived. l
was for setting out on the back track
at once, but the widow came out into
the kitchen and made light of the de-
lay, and it was three hourSe later when
| started for camp. | was more than
another hour in reaching it, and then
got no news of the officers. | reported
the case to a captain, but it was noon
next day before a messenger was sent
out. 1t was the colonel's mystery over
again. We could not get the slightest
trace of the men Or their horses. There
was a stir now, as you may guess.
Those who had talked suicide in the
colonePs case could not make that the
DRY fit the new mystery. 1t was fifteen
miles to the nearest Confederate force,
and they could not have been captured.
They had not been seen on the road
beyond-they had not shown up at the
house. They had disappeared some
where and somehow on that two miles
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-01-08
"Only scrubs compared to ours.

THE FELLOW UNDER THE TREE
AND the camels of Egypt"
Net worthy of the name, o ruler"
And the corn of Persia
Only nubplns, and half crop at
that
But the warriors of Thibet?" con-
tinued the Dey.
Only half-grown boys, o ruler. and
ready to run away from an enemy"
And the other rulers?"
Mere wooden-heads, o benefcent.
who don't know enough to pound
sand"
LAS to f1attery," said the Dey after
long thought, sit is certainly pleasant
to us all, but as for a liar-please pre-
sent my compliments to the fellow out
under the tree in the courtyard and tell
him not to bungle the job
The King of Dude, not satisfied with
having a good thing of it during the
day. caused proclamation to be made
that whoever should cause him to
dream at night should be literally re-
warded. In due time a doctor sought
audience with him and said:
80 king, | bring thee this powder.
Take it at bedtime in little water and
thou wilt be sure to dream"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-01-08
OF COURSE sHR BBLrHvnD Hiap

In giving some practical advice to he
sons recently married young wife, len
mother-in-law said: And If We're YOU
would never ask him where he has beer
II he should come home very, very late.
had an experience in that line with his ii.
Their many years ago, and I4learned tnet
that If was to have any respect for flIx
must never ask any questionsl and IS
pecially when he was late"
The new wife concluded to make 49,
it early in the house, and told it q
husband. The latter caught his fa
the club and told it as his motf
told it: William came In quite iatS
early, as YOU prefer. had not slept
wink. had worn out my slippers wal<
ing, wandering, waiting and thinkis&
only as a woman can and will OF cou
it was comfortable relief when he
come and had made up my mind III
would not upbraid him. So when WI
came up that morning, for it was
two o'clock. / met him kindly and
off his hat and wrap But somehow wi
was giving him the little attentic
which a man likes and which trust
will always give my boy, / could not
strain a little curiosity. and without
tending to clapperclaw or to seem hyr'*4
critical, 1 just asked in young wild
soicitcus way; William, where have
been? You know, IL he had rallied at
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-01-08

catac> ur days and is eating
up the her shoes. and puts to
flight seven fgandish brigands who
would carry her on and hold her for a
million dollar ransom She is grateful
Tor all this, and she sends her agent
TO him with a $50 bill to pay for his
torn trousers and broken suspenders.
Instead of showing the long green down
into his fob pocket he tears it into
nineteen pieces and jumps on them.
Then he gathers them up in his hands
and rushes through the streets in a
thunder storm and dashes into her
house to exclaim.
"Emp0ria, hast the cheek to offer me
money to require my DEVOTION
II thought you needed haircut
and shave!" was the confused reply
"Emporia, you know love you be-
yond anything on the face of this
earth. Will you marry me?"
Il cannot-oht I cannot" she cried
in reply. Il love oysters, but / can
never never love an oyster salesman. z
viii you not allow me to hope?"
"You must not Return to America
and forget me-"
"Emporia. is this the end?n asked the
young man in tones so strange that she
wondered if his teeth had fallen out.
1T is.
Then farewell, cold-hearted girl-a
long FAREWELL"
And then he pulled a cheap revolver
from his coat-tail pocket and fired a
bullet into his head and died at her
feet. We don't anticipate that his
death will make any difference with the
oyster trade, though CLAIMS may be a
little higher until they come to know
the full particulars of the case.
CHARLES B. LEWIS.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-01-08
BLACK EAGLE DANCED ABOUT.

post abolished, and he wanted heaps
of guns and blankets and other things
for nothing. He therefore put up the
usual howl and got a QGace commits
Sioner out there for pow-wow. A
day was set for him to come into the
fort, and he arrived with half of his
tribe and was logged out like Roman
emperor. Talk about dignity, but that
old loafer had it by the ton! You'd
have thought the soil of America not
half good enough for him to step on
had you seen his stride. 1t beat Booth
in his best days.
"To pass him into the fort the chief
had to pass near a forge where one OF
my men was shoeing a mule. He had
made a bar-shoe for a mule with a
cracked hoof, and it was still hot as it
lay on the ground. AS Black Eagle
came striding up, thinking il how he
would sit down on that commissioner
and bamboozle the Great Father at
Washington, his eye caught the shape
of that shoe. Dignity should have de-
manded that one of his bucks pick it up
for him, but curiosity couldn't wait for
dignity. He made a dive for it and
got it, and then the barrel of monkeys
was tipped over. The old hypocrite
had always pretended that he couldn't
understand English. but within a min
ute of his letting go of that shoe he
ripped out forty cuss-words OF the very
best English brand. The affair oc-
Cured in sight of 200 men, and every
body laughed and jeered and felt good
over it. Black Eagle danced about,
flirted his hand, and yelled and swore
and dropped all the dignity business.
My half-breds called out and asked
him why he didn't hang on to good
thing, and that finished him. He kick
ed a mule, upset a cart and went off
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-01-08

of road, but it was searched to the last
foot and searched in vain.
AS TO what happened at the house |
can only tell you second-h hand. The
women expressed the greatest aston
ishment and the utmost anxiety over
the disappearance of the officers, and
the officer who would have dared to
hint that the plantation house knew
aught that could solve the mystery
would have been considered a con-
temptlble cur. A senior captain made
complete report of the mysterious
disappearances and forwarded it to
Washington. Steps had been taken
IN a further investigation and a new
commander had been detailed and was
on his way to us. when events culmi-
mated and the mysteries were solved.
On certain Thursday evening four
officers rode away to spend the even
ing at the widows. On the same day
two officers had left for the north on
furlough. Thus only four or five Off
GERS were left in camp. At ten o'clock
at night, when 4 snowstorm had been
raging for an hour and the sentinels
were the only ones awake, there sud-
denly came the sound Of firing in our
rear, and almost before any one was
out of his blanket the Confederate
horsemen came laundering into camp.
From the shooting and the yelling it
appeared as if there were at least 1000
of them. No resistance was made.
Had all the company officers been pres
ent TO give orders we would have made
a fight, but as it was, there was no
rallying. The Confederates rode about
shouting that no man must leave his
quarters, and shooting at all who
showed head. and the camp was
theirs from the very start. They final
ly found some one to make a formal
surrender, and then we were routed
out and driven up the Gap. When we
had reached spot where "a few men
could hold us in check our capeors be-
gan plundering and destroying. There
were $50 horses on the lines, and
every one was driven off towards the
widow Childers'ts All were saddled and
bridled, and many had sabres and car
bines strapped D them. Our tents
were pl1Hdered blankets and cloth
ing. the ofhlSrs tobbed of money and
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-01-08
ROYAL JOKERS.
In the Old Days Nobody Got the Better
of Ruler.

In the Old Days Nobody Got the Better
of a Ruler.
One day the Abound of Swat made
proclamation to the effect that if one
single honest man could be found in
his kingdom he would reward him as
he deserved. When the day appointed
for the examination came round a SUBJ
ject appeared and bowed low before
him and said:
20, ruler of millions, l am here to
claim the reward. am an honest
man."
Have you never stolen or swindled
nor cheated?" asked the Abound.
Never. No man can say that l ever
used him unjustly."
I'm handling public funds, has none
ever stuck to your palms,"
mot the smallest coin, o ruler"
Have you ever traded asses with
your neighbour"
Il have, ruler, and I pointed out
the spavins on my beast
And you have borrowed money and
| faithfully returned it?''
ITO the last farthing, o boss of the
universe"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-01-08

The author leaves us in doubt about
the fate of the six twiddle-twadCile
young men who got the marble heart.
but it is presumed that all lived on and
got over it with the help of Jamaica
ginger.
A pretty fair book is that entitled
'She Could Not Wed Him" A clerk
in an oyster house in Baltimore serves
young lady with a pint of raw oys-
tiers in bulk, and her manners are so
courteous and her face so beautiful
that he falls in love with her He fol-
lows her home and discovers that she
belongs TO the four hundred, but i'm
stead Of tearing her image from his
heart and throwing it under the coun7
ter he permits himself to hope that he
may one day win her hand. Out of his
salary of S11 per week he spends 81 in
sending her peanuts, candy and flowers,
but after a few months she feels il her
duty TO tell him that she can never.
never give him her heart She breaks
the news TO him as gently as possible,
but he falls among his oyster pals in
a dead faint, and when he RECEIVERS she
has sailed for Europe to be gone year.
The hero sells the shirt OF his back to
follow her TO Paris, and he arrives Just
in time TO punch a Frenchman's head
for trying TO fiirt with her. Later on
he carries her out Of burning hotel:
saves her from a fall over precipice.
leaps into lake to rescue her; hunts
her up after she has been lost in the
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-01-08

said: -
Here seems to be something to
amuse me. <Has it a name?"
1T has, O prince replied the rider.
1T is called a bicycle. 1t Is not as
big and stately as an elephant. but ii
goeth faster"
Then must have it, and you shall
name your own reward
THY acceptance is a gracious reward
and more
The Marajah descended from his ele-
phant and mounted the bicycle. He
had proceeded about four inches when
his head plowed a furrow in the soil,
and as his courtiers assisted him to
rise he smiled upon the bikist and
said:
Thou hast furnished thy ruler with
new amusement, and here is my
purse as a reward
20 ruler of the moon, but my heart
lis full of gratitude and DEVOTION" re-
piled the man as he received the gift.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-01-08
A ROMAN WILL FORGET.

Don't you believe all you read about
the stocism of the indian, said Col
onel LeBlanche. the paek-train man, as
the talk turned on Indian affairs.
"Four-fifths of what they call his i'm
penetrable reserve is assumed for oc-
casions. | saw old Black Eagle, of the
Cheyennes, all knocked out over a trifie
just when he imagined he owned the
earth and all the scalp-locks thereon.
We'd built Fort Wallace in spite of him,
and he'd been licked in three or four
fights, but when peace came he had a
card up his sleeve. He wanted that
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-01-08

/ piled the doctor.
fes. but don't be 50 fast. The sort Of
dream wanted was about fine horses,
beautiful women and boxes OF gold The
sort of dream ! had was that was
dead-broke, ragged and hungry, and that
another man was king in my stead Just
oblige me, doc, by stepping down to the
slaughter house and leaving your head
there."
CHARLES B. LEWIS.
Copyright, 1899, by John Brisben walker
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-01-08

or snapped me UP, as have heard OF me-
doing at such times think should hi
taken my portion and said nothing "A
he said in his quiet way, which 1 have
ways noticed In HIM Mary. you would
believe 'nietf 14teltlANAs.-l 80 AAaa
you will know and nnders IND later ~
your life how an appeal OF that sort Will
put magnifying lenses upon woman a
curiosity When he said that ] put my
arms around his neck and replied as hon4
estly as any woman ever did in her iilel
Yes, Will William II you win only telk
me where you have been / Will believed
every word you say He sat down and
lighted cigar as deliberately as mauz
can. and at that hour. too. and then M
shook his head and said: NO. Marx i
know you wouldn't believe IT, II thoueht1
you would / had as lief tell you as mott
but you are so suspicious so fun OF curi9
osity--' I fell upon my knees but 1t was
the only time I ever did. and I said ~
him-oh how earnestly: William. II
lieve you; only trust me to do so; tell
where you have been and promise y
will believe every word you utter
he placed one hand on nay head -
ed into my face, and said: Mary, 7naN
been lecturing to the Young Mems Christ
tan Association From that morning IN
til this / have gone on with a menfa5
grubbing hoe and whenever an Interiors;
ton point has showed itself I have hit L.
It Is the upas plant In the garden OF do
mesticity."
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-01-08

with a limp, and that ended ii
WOW business for good and al. il
that hot shoe he'd have gone into
talk and demanded wagon 1oa<Iz
stun. and perhaps presented CO
pathetic that the Great Father ~
have given up all that celintrv
oblige him, but after playing eirous(
was a gone coon. He couldn't work
cold-storage racket after thar, and n
sensible enough to realize it and 81
up. Six months later he ana q ii
bred bucks passed my train one /
and one of my boys called ont to ID
Say Gully. wouldn't you like
know whether that was centinede|
a muie-shoe YOU picked up that day 1
He didn't want any informatil
Some OF his bucks INDUCED In
winks and grins, but the old man rC
on as stiffiy as II he had poker do,
his back
Copyright, 1899 by John Brishen Walk
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-01-08

well, you step out into the court
yard and my executionsr will attend
to your little business. He's been at it
so long that he can lop head off at
one blow"
But you promised a reward, o be-
nign and benificent," walled the honest
man.
80 / did, and that's what you will
get" replied the Abound
In land where all from the ruler
TO the lowest subject, are looking out
for No. 1, an honest man is not only a
drawback to public welfare, but he
must go hungry and ragged and be
without friends. Just step out and re-
move your paper collar and we'll do
the rest
AS the Marajah WIS riding out with
his suite one day HI came across one
of his subjects who Eas spinning along
on strange vehiclt with two wheels.
The ruler at once1called halt and
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-01-08

The god Of war had gone into vim
ter quarters at Bakers Gap, in the Blue
Ridge Mountains six hundred men
had settled down In their rude cabins
q give winter its reign and safely
\Rrd the pass until the flowers should
bm again. The six hundred were
ply sufficient. Indeed, 1t was doubt
IL the Confederates cared to force
Gap at all, or if its possession
hid have been of any value to them.
was to be depended on, at any rate,
at they would make no aggressive
pve for many long weeks, and so the
Elders settled down to take what
omfort could be got out of it.
Two miles in rear of the Gap was
pig plantation house. This house was
erantless when We first took possess
sion OF the Gap, put a few days later
was occupied by its owner, widow
named Childers, She was Southern
woman who had fled in alarm before
the Union troops few months before
RFhe widow alone would have been an
pfraction, as she was young and hand
Qme and asbcrn lady, but she brought
i'm her as companion girl named
ISIS Harper, who would have passed
beauty In any city in the land.
ie was a third WOman-an elderly
le-to act as chaperOne and house
per, and the widow had brother
g,lt sixteen years old. These four
up the household, with about q
t0lored servants to wait on them
el Stone, who had command at
was a gallant man. He was
hrs old, and had wife and
;ldren back in Ohio, but he
ut enough to call at the Child
en- and pay a great many
S and almost fall in love.
second in command, was
man. He too, had fam
Forth, and he, too, was well
ears, but he felt it his duty
fall in love with Miss Har-
It first sight. Then there were
different captains and seven or
'lieutenants who were all gallant
Some were married and some
single, but all tried their best TO
e a good impression when visiting
Ne big white house. We were a
atN post, you understand, and af-
a,feM weeks it became routine
ty for the officers to call at the wild
almost daily. They were always
" welcomed, and once a week a
\Vas sdryed to as many as could
Colonel Stones orderly I'M
n event happened, and al
\Iahied him to the house
had opportunity to hear
d deal. Not that / ever
kitchen, as you may
Pene kitchen always knows
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-01-08

goes on in the parlor. Accord
to the talk OF the servants every
of our officers, married or single,
mashed" On either the widow or
girl, and it was predicted that
re would be two marriages in that
D!lse in the spring. The dullest pri-
Uvate soldier in camp would have fig
ured out how things would work. HUI
man nature is the same the world over,
and certain sentiments crop out wheth-
er man is at the pillow or wearing a
sword. The officers soon began to get
Jealous Of each other Rank is all right
ilSscamp, but it doesn't count in love.
ltywas said that our gallant colonel
WIS even jealous OF g second lieuten-
Int, and that the latter officer "stood
his rights" about it. That is, nc
laimed he had as much right to fall
n love as the commander of his regi-
bent.
1t was about six weeks after the ar
Eval of the household that the colonel
rode out one stormy afternoon with
his orderly at regulation distance be-
hind him. Half dozen new books and
a roll of sheet music had come to the
officer from New York, and ! had them
strapped 10 my Sduuie as SlItS 10 the
ladies. When half the distance had
been covered the package of books be-
! came loosened and a halt was made to
secure it. lost perhaps ten minutes
at this, while Colonel Stone rode on
without knowing that l had stopped.
rode fast to oyertake him, but failed
- it, On arriving at the house
to see his horse, and u,s.er some
was informed that he had not
WAITED half an hour and
pdet back. 1T Was plain,
rote to camp, bordered on
for distance of half a mile
elk pod, but with no roads
or branching off. The road
past the house, was also
and led to village seven
ay All our supplies, mail,
le by highway from the
hich is just at the Gap, and thus
past the plantation was little
\to.eamp without finding
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-01-08

SpI bdu-tdSlo vi llly TuIoT U6lOT6 MS
people, and any man who does that
is unworthy to live. Just stand where
you are until the captain makes you
head shorter!"
One day the sultan read of a man
who was accounted the wIseSt in the
kingdom, and turning to his grand
vizer, he said:
He may be even wiser than I am,
but I'll bet dollars to cents | have the
joke on him. Bring hither old pro-
fundity"
When the wise man had been brought
to the palace the sultan smiled on him
and said:
'Thy fame has reached me from
many tongues, and [ have sent for
thee that thu mayst give me advice
on how to govern my people"
IF | presumed to give thee advice, ]
would no longer be thought wise," re-
piled the sage.
That's pretty good smiled the sui
tan as he rubbed his hands and looked
down on the old man, ''but fifteen min
utes hence you'll be in another land
from this
Am | condemned because of my
wisdom in refusing to advise, o sui
TAM"
"Oh, no! no. You are condemned for
refusing to obey the royal command"
But had | advised"
you'd have been gone coon just
the same Wisdom is all right and a
handy thing to have about the house,
but if you want the real genuine arti-
Gle you must be a sultan"
A subject of the Dey who had tray
eled in other lands and seen many
things was summoned to the palace to
relate his adventures. Remembering
that the Dey boosted that nothing on
earth could compare with the things
found in his dominions. the traveller
determined to do all his lying in the
right direction. He therefore began:
80 great and mighty ruler, | trav-
eled for thousands and thousands of
miles and mine eyes were ever look
ing, but saw nothing in which we do
not excel.
How were the horses of Arabia?"
asked the Dey.
70
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-01-08
STOLEN swEBTs.

Her mouth than honey sweeter r.. tro.
Yet bitter words from her sweet n
have sprung -.
An. WELL Who will In search ofhonl
Must risk, forsooth, the chance OF
stung
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-01-08

The king expressed his satisfaction ard
told the doctor to come around next day
and see about the reward. The latter was
on hand at an early hour, and had al
ready figured out the size OF the house he
would build with the royal present.
Truly, but thy powder didst make me
dream" said the king as he got down
to business.
Then. o king, my heart Is glad, re-