davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
A YOUNG OFFICERS MISTAKE.
How; an Old Civil War General
squelched the Occupant of 4
Brand-Neyv Uniform.

Gen. Darius Couch, who during the
civil war commanded the department
of the Susquehanna, stationed at :Har-
risburg, was a fine old school gentle
man, simple and courteous in manner,
caring not in the least for ostentation
or display. One day in the late autumn
of '63, wearing as usual an old SLOUGH
hat and light civilian overcoat over
his stripes and epaulettes, he boarded
a train at Washington for Harrisburg
and casually dropped into the first IN
occupied seat that he came to. He had
been sitting there but a moment when
a dapper young officer, Respondent in
a new uniform, came along, touched
him on the shoulder and said:
II beg your pardon, sir, but you have
my seat"
II saw nothing to indicate that the
seat was taken," politely responded the
general.
For answer the youthful official
pointed to the rack above, containing
his sword and grip.
The old man arose, and with word
of apology took a seat farther for
ward.
A few stations from Washington the
train was delayed some time, and Gen.
Couch became very much interested in
little group on the platform. It rep
resented just one of the homely little
tragedies with which the days and
weeks were filled during the war, but
it somehow touched the generals kind
heart in an unusual manner. An ema-
ciated and sick-looking boy in blue and
gray was taking what looked like q
final farewell of his father and moth
er, both of whom wore the delicate,
pinched, hard-worked look of very
poor country people, and the mother
especially was scantily clad.
Presently came the last kiss, the
final grasp of the hand, and the soldier
entered the car, followed by the re-
strained, yearning gaze of his parents.
Gen. Couch beckoned to the young
man to take the seat beside him and
Immediately engaged him in conversa-
ton. Finding that he was on his way
to join his regiment after a leave of
absence on account of sickness, the
general exclaimed:
"Why, man, you are not fit. You
can't perform the duties of soldier;
you need more time for recupera-
ton"
II know it," responded the youth,
"but my furlough is up; can't get a
discharge, and if ! do not report for
duty shall be branded as deserter.
There is nothing for me to do but to
go back to my regiment.S
"Now, look here, my boy" said the
general, ''you just get right off at the
next station and 60 back to your IA
ther and mother, and remain with them
until you are entirely we'll. I will at
tend to getting your discharge, and
when you are fit for duty come to Har-
risburg, and will have some place for
you; by the way, bring your father
along with you. I guess I can get
something for him to do that will pay
him better than farming" Then fol-
lowed plans and explanations until the
station was reached, and as the soldier
boy was leaving the train the general
slipped teyy dollar bill into his hand,
saying: TIA hQmeto your mother a
nice warm sfawl!
The smart young officer in the rear
had not failed to take in the situation,
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21

y, ISHED."
"You ought not to jump out of the back
of the wagon in that way in the dark.
I stopped and called to you and you
didn't answer and I thought you were
hurt. And then saw you running to-
ward the house,
''That wasn't me, that was the Bub-
BILE Boy.
His father didn't notice what he said.
where's that hen book? I want to
show your mother that picture of the
wyandotte."
'What hen book?" asked George,
mystifed.
For the next few minutes his answers
were so bewildering to both parents
that they finally told him sharply to
go to bed.
1T doesn't do to keep a growing boy
up late," said his father.
AS for the double they wouldn't hear
another word about him.
George went upstairs by way of the
pantry and appeased his appetite some
what. When he entered his room he
half expected to see his double.
But as we all know Bubble Boys have
short lives. He looked out of the win
dow. A silvery moon was riding
through steamy clouds and he thought
he saw an iridescent bubble floating by
it's side.
II guess I'll take my own punish
ments and my own pleasures after
this" said he as he took a bite of
drumstick. II know I don't want any
more mean old doubles like that one."-
Boston Globe.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
Once Was EnOuxh.

This is one of Gen. Miles stories. In
the confederate army Longstreet's
corps was making night march.
About four o'clock in the morning,
when everyone was worn out, Georgia
regiment stopped. A Georgia soldier
put his rifle up against the tents on the
other side of where Longstreet was.
''Well,''' he said, this is pretty hard
to fight all day and march all night.
But I suppose can do it for love of
my country" He continued: II can
go hungry. can fight. If need be I
can die for my country, because love
my country. But when this war is over
I'll be bowed if I'll ever love another
country Journal. 30
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
1t Seemed Natural.

For ten minutes the angry man did
nothing but call names. Meanwhile the
others smile grew broader and he gave
every evidence of being especially
pleased.
"Ah," he said at last, 'that sounds
good. That makes me think of old
times
''You like it?" exclaimed the aMg. y
man.
"Sure," replied the other. 1T recalls
the days when was in politics and ran
for office in holly contested election"
Chicago Post.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
The Ball SeAkOn.

The time of year has now returned
When Johnny sadly cries,
And once again his grandmamma
Gives up the ghost and dies.
IN, Y. World.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
BATTLE OF TINY FOES.
MtcrObe-How Mosquitoes Trans
init the Disease to Men.


from person to person by the mosquito.
In other words, malaria is blood dis
cuse> in that mosquitoes suck up the mi
tfobes from the blood of one person
and then fly off and innoculate other
persons with those germs. Meantime,
the mosquitoes have malaria. Flies
transmit the germs of typhoid fever,
teas disseminate anthrax, and mosque
toes are the purveyors of the malaria
which cause elephantiasis, and of the
plasmodium which causes malaria.
The malaria germ propagates it's spe-
cies by segmentation. Periodically
every day, or every three days, or every
four days, according to the type of the
disease, the full-grown germ subdivides
and each division becomes a full
fledged microbe, with power to repro
Guce itself. All the germs-plasmodia
as they are called-subdivide through
out the human body within some min
utes of one another. It is this that
causes the periodical chill in malaria
patients. In fact, when you see ma
larial patient undergoing his daily chill
you may know that millions of young
malaria germs are just breaking away
from the parent stem. The young germ
is in danger of being devoured by
Phagocytes in the blood. In fact, a
great many are thus devoured. When
malaria is well advanced the number
of germs is so much greater than the
number of phagocytes that quite
enough are spared to do damage.
When the augmentation at last is
complete, some wonderful process of
tclegraphy, or perhaps the recognition
of the germ itself Of the end of the then
stage of it's existence, gives what might
be called an intra-human signal and the
universal breaking away of the young
germs takes place. The process is re-
peated again and again, until the suf-
ferer dies or the growth of the germs
is checked by medical or other means.
But in describing the life of the germ
it has been assumed that it existed
within the human body. How did it get
there? Undoubtedly air and water
transport the malaria germ, under GER
tain conditions, but there is far more
potent disseminating agent-the mos
quito.
While there can be no doubt that ma
laria in it's several forms is the result
of a microbe, it is yet evident that there
are conditions under which the germ
will not thrive. a dry atmosphere is
fatal to the germs of all diseases, and to
the malaria germ particularly, Ma
laria affects those who break the soil of
low ground, who sleep on or near the
earth, who battle in or drink stagnant
water. Soldiers fatigued by long
marches who camp amid enervating
surroundings are extremely liable to it.
Yet the disease may not show itself
until some time after the march, for the
reason that troops travelling in swampy
districts usually are allotted daily
proportion of quinine, which after all
may merely deaden the effects of the
germ for the time being. This prob
ably was the reason so many soldiers
were i'll of malaria at Montauk point.
In Cuba the quinine held the disease in
check. In fact, it may be said that
where marshy districts exist so also will
malaria.-N. Y. Herald.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
A Heavy Responsibility

Mr.. Gotrox-I suppose you thorough
ly realize that marriage is serious
matter?
Mr.. Dudely--Well, should say yes,
We know! Such deucedly twying and
sewious matter, deciding just whom to
invite and whom to leave out, we know!
Puck,
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
She Might Have Known.

Mr.. Peck-I see there's judge in St.
Louis who says there are times when
man is justified in slapping his wife.
Mrs. Peck-Yes, and 1 suppose you
agree with him, don't you:
II should say not! If held such
view as that do you suppose you would
have escaped up to this
His last words were drowned by the
noise he made while tumbling down the
stairs leading to the street entrance
Chicago Evening News.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
His Suspicion.

Money" said the philosopher, may
often do more harm than good. Some
times the mighty dollar is a mans
worst enemy"
"Yes," answered Senator Sorghum;
land I often feel that number of peo-
pie love me for the enemies I have
| made Washington Star.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
His Only OPENING,

Mrs. Johnson Don't yo' feel terrible,
Mrs. Jackson, cause yo'r son Nose bin
arrested fo' stealin' chickens?
Mrs. Jackson (sobbing)-Yyais. De
poor fellah won't be good TO- muffin
after dis disgrace except in politics.
Judge.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
The Exact Situation.

City Miss Tin rural book store>-Have
you "Wooed and Won?"
Clerk (blushing)-Not yet, ma'am;
but I'm keeping steady company with
Sally Hacede, an my prospects are
good.-N. Y. World.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
No sku1l for an Irish Fair. =

In Irel,nd recently a quarrel had
taken place at a fair and a culprit was
being sentenced for %manslaughter.
The doctor, however, bad given evil
5dence to show that tho *ictim'a skull
was abnormally thin. The prisoner, on
being asked if he had anything. to say
for himself, replied: NO, yer honor,
but I would ask was that a skull for!
3 man to go to q fair wild ?"- chicago
Chronicle. ss zs 5,z a a,#. .sE .s..73.8.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
aimed the aMg.y
Couldn't Say.

'Pa," said little Tommy Ngg, ~
heard Mr.. Watts say that great mems
sons never did any good. I amt great
mans SON.. am I?'
Up to the time of going to press, Mr..
Figg's mind had not found a sufficient
~ diplomatic answer Chicago Jour-
nal. ..-... / - -.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
He'd Got So Used to 1t.

ooe Do ou
Passenger-Look here, guard; par
ticularly told you to wake me up at the
Junction.
Guard-And tried hard to, sir; but
all could get out of you was: "Bur-
glars, Emma! stuff and nonsense. I
locked up everything myself. ALLY
Sloper.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
AyertinR a TRAGEDY,


Chappie- tewibble twagedy
just now.
Chollie-No! How?
Chappie-Man said he would pound
me to mincemeat if did not give him
half cwown, and gave him half a
cwown.-Tit-Bits.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
A Practical Father.

Wife-Why shouldn't Mr.. Goodsoul
make nice husband for our daughter?
bly, paid, wage-earning producer.
"Well, how about Mr.. Kindheart?"
He won't do, either. He's poor,
money-spending consumer"
"Hum! The only other one she cares
for is Mr.. Hardhead."
Hell do. He's middleman." IN. Y.
Weekly.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
HOEesick.

Mrs. slimdiet ito new boarder)-Did
you sleep we'll last night, sir? ...
New Boarder-Not very, Mrs. Slim
diet. That bed reminded me so much
of home that felt sort o. homesick. @
Indeed! Where is your homeY'
= I'm the Rocky Observation-Disclosures
Life. 7* <z.. IS. = ,::a# - :. :
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
Malicious.

The Bore-I assure you, madam, that
my dear friend here and are two souls
with but single thought.
The Lady-Indeed? And which of
you has possession of the thought to-
day ?-Fliegende Blaetter.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
A Talented Youth.

Johnnie-I wish I was Tommy Jones.
Mother-Why? You are stronger
than he is, you have better home, more
toys and more pocket money -.
Johnnie-Yes, I know, but he can
wa.gle his ears.-N. y. Journal.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
Wasted HerOiSm.

"Clara and I hated awfully to take
off our new hats at the concert"
''But you did, didn't you?"
Eyes; and after the thing was over
we found out that three blind men sat
right behind us" -Chicago Record.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
Labeled.

Look! There's colored messenger
boy running
'Sure enough. They ought to adver-
tise him as warranted fast black
Philadelphia Bulletin.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
A Course Dinner.

Tramp-I hate ter trouble yer, marin,
but de lady acrost de street hez PROM
ised me piece of pie, and de lady mex
door is goin' ter gimme some roast
beef, so fought I'd call an see if yer
wouldn't gimme plate O soup, so I
kin start me dinner right.-N. Y. Jour-
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
Uncanny.

Little Virginia-My mamma says you
live in a haunted house.
Little Winnie-The idea! We don't
either. Nobody ever heard of ghost
being inside of our house.
Little Virginia-Yes, but it's always
haunted by crowd of collectors.-Chi-
cago Daily News.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
Never Lah0roA

First Tramp-They ses pore OLD Bill
is dyin'. is breath is labored.
Second Ditto-Then 'e's done for.
Bill could never live if any part of i'm
was laborin'. Judy.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
PinninE Him Down.

He believe that man should let
his acts speak for themselves.
She-Am I to understand then that
when you took my hand in yours last
night you intended it as proposal of
marriage?-Chicago Daily News.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
The Trouble.

Jenkins-Baby not well-eh? You
ought to call in DR.. Brown. We sent
for him last week, and the moment he
saw our baby he guessed what the
trouble was.
Jackson-What was it?
Jenkins-Pins.-The Rival.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
Wealth..

II lectures about wealth you scan,
This general thought you'll see
tits dangerous for the other man,
But very good for me-"
washington Star,
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
The Cheerful Idiot.

Il do not believe in stuffing children
with education," said the theorizing
boarder.
"And yet," said the Cheerful Idiot,
'every child should be at least little
ot."-Indianapolis Journal.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
Sweet Thing.

The lovely girl in the candy shop
Is blushing like rosy wine,
For out in front her signing swain
Stands under the swaying sign.
Chicago Tribune.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
Irony.

Irony.
Oh. how l love to watch the rain
In tiny drops come down.
When 1 have left my macintosh
At the other end of town!
Chicago Daily News.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
HeirlOOmS.

Naught goes to waste, though years ma!
fit
And change is what the people love:
Those old-time anecdotes will fit
The brand new hero like glove.
-Washington Star
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
Even Better.

''Did your picnic fulfill your expecta-
tions?"
"Oh, my, yes. 1t surpassed them. We
fully expected it to rain, but hail was
more than we anticipated."-C
Fnulirer
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
Like Some Kinds-Not Others.

Algy-Are you--aw-fond of ami
mails, Miss Jennie?
Jennie-Well, like dogs and cats,
but I don't care for dudes.-Harlem
Life.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
He Drew the Line.

First Actor-Oh, no! I could never
stand that!
Second Actor-What's the trouble?
First Actor-Why, here's an offer of
an engagement in realistic war play,
and they want me to eat real embalmed
beef!-Puck.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
The Lambkin's PrOSrexs,

The lamb that gamboled on the green
With many frisk and hop
Now on the gambrel stick is seen
Before the butcher shop.
Chicago Daily News.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21

eyes, dat's de same Casey dat ulster
clean out Finnegan's saloon every Sat-
urday night!"-N. Y. Evening Journal.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
Not So Bad.

my wife is great with a pistol
''She is?"
eyes; she fred at burglar the other
night and hit the electric button, which
set an alarm going all over the house"
Chicago Record.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
ALREADY AN EXPERT.

Husband-Don't bother me, my dear.
I'm studying political economy.
Wife-Well, you needn't work so hard
at it. Goodness knows, you're sufi-
GENTLY strong on the economy part of
it now.-Petit Journal Pour Rire.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1899-06-21
SartOrial Logic.

IF clothes make the man,
AS I have read,
Then I am self-made,"
The tailor said.
Chicago Tribune.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1899-06-23
J.ROSENTHAL.
SMALLPOX SITUATIONS


johnson Dismissed-Only Two Cases Left
at Pest House.
The white man Johnson was dis
missed from the pest house Tuesday,
leaving only two cases of smallpox
there, both of whom are negroes
and one of these will probably be
discharged to. day or to- morrow. The
other case is that of Bob Dickinson,
who went to the pest house one night
last week and asked to be admitted
HI said had been sick for several
days and thought he had smallpox
The case proved to be rather Sc
we're one, but the negro is getting
along nicely now. He lived east OF
the city, near the lime kiln, and
during his illness stay ed out on the
river bluff aud had his meals sent
him.
The negro girl, whose Ease was re.
ported in last weeks HERALD, was
brought back to town Saturday in q
much improved condition. The
medical fraternity still differ as t,
whether the case was smallpox OF
not
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1899-06-23

Thos. Davis was bitten by a mad
dog last Tuesday morning near his
home in the Bear Creek neighbor
hood. He noticed stray hound
passing along the pike, and, upon
coming near him, the animal seized
him by the right hand. biting one OF
his fingers very badly. Mr.. Davis
finally drove off the dog, which then
attacted some hogs and bit several
of them. The animal was foamine
at the mouth, and to all appear
ances was afflicted with the rabies
Later he was killed. Mr.. Davis
came to town Tuesday afternoon to
consult physician, and left tina
evening for Giles county in search
of a maidstone.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1899-06-23
BARR & 0AKES,'
Professional Undertakers
and Embalmers.

We carry everything our line Il
business calls for, whether it be Il 9
most expensive or more modest n
its cost.
Our stock is bought to accommC-
date those in distress, and our prices
are neither for the rich nor the poor.
but to suit the occasion-for those
favored of fortune, or for the humble
home where cruel Death has made
his always unwelcome visit.
Our business motto is to "Do as We
would be done bv," and to GoNsCE-
ENTIoUsLY discharge ALI sacred
trusts committed to our care.
Whether night or day, telephone
calls will be promptly attended to.
Office, Citizens Telephone No. l2e-
A. BARR, Residence,
Bell Telephone 333.
JOHN A. CAKES, Residence,
Citizens Telephone No. 81.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1899-06-23

Association, which goes to Pensa-
C la. Fla, this lear.
Hon. Rufus X. Polk, OF Danville,
Pa, was here this week on his way
~ Franklin to attend the marriage
OF his brother. Mr.. Polk is Congress
IN IN. elect from his district.
Prof. J. w. Buchanan, OF New
Orleans, formerly president of Hay
Long College, was here this week
Tuesday evening he WIS made q
Royal Master Mason by the Masonic
lodge at this place.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1899-06-23
RAINS, n; Druggist.
TWO CHILDREN CREMATED.

Burned to Death at II. NJ. Beckett's Home
Near Ridley.
The residence of Mr.. II. NJ. Beck
EFT, near Ridley Station, caught fire
last Tuesday afternoon, and was to-
tally destroyed, with it's contents.
Two children-one of them being the
5.year. old daughter of Mr.. J. w.
Cawthorne-were In the house at the
time, and were burned so badly that
they died few hours afterwards
from their injuries. At the time OF
the fire, Mrs. Beckett was at a neigh.
boris house near by, and no one ex.
cept the children were In the house
1t is presumed that the children
while playing, set the house afire.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1899-06-23
LYTLE'S CREEK.

Mr.. G. M. Irvine, after a most sue
cessful business trip in Kentucky,
has returned home.
Mrs. Sam Mullenix and children,
after delightful visit with rela-
tives in Franklin, have returned
home.
Mr.. Eddie Perry and sister, Miss
Carrie. of Lebanon Heights, were
visiting in our midst the past week.
Mrs. j. HI. RUSSELL was called to
Nashville on last Sunday evening to
the bedside of her brother, Mr.. Will
Kirby, who is very low at this writ
ing. Also Mrs. Harry Martin was
called to the bed side of her sister
Mrs. J. G. Waddy, who is very low
at her home near Culleoka. We
wish them speedy recovery.
TRAMP.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1899-06-23
PHOSPHATE NOTES.

Messrs. w. B. Greenlaw and f. D.
Lander have purchased two thirus
interest In the I. ID. Simmons farm,
one and a-half miles from Carriers
Greek, Mr.. Simmons himself retain
ing a one-thIrd interest in the farm.
The place contains about 1870 acres,
and is thought to be very rich in
phosphate. These gentlemen will
mine their own rock, and contem-
plate beginning operations very
soon. This farm adjoins the famous
Satterf1eld phosphate farm, of which
so much has been read of late.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1899-06-23

Every citizen of Columbia will re-
greet to hear that Maj. John E,
Greer, commandant in charge of the
Arsenal, is soon to be transferred to
the armory at Springfield, Mass
Maj. Greer and family have been al
the Columbia Arsenal for the past
six years, and during that time they
have endeared themselves to the
hearts of many friends, who will
wish for them unbounded success in
their new home. Maj. Greer's sue
cessessor has not yet been named
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1899-06-23
LIVE STOCK NOTES.

Two carloads of Western mules
and horses were shipped here this
week and sold to Mr.. John M. Burns.
The following shipments have
been made from the stock yards
this week: Allen Il Sellars, 3
loads of cattle and sheep; Burnett d
Vaughan, load of sheep; Green Il
Hagey, | load of cattle.