The Irish standard., 1899-06-03
ChOate'S Jests.

We understand that an enterprising
London publisher has just issued
Choate Jest Book, in honor of the witty
American ambassador, says Harper's
Bazar We have not as yet seen copy,
but from the fashion in which certain
famous people are at times compelled
to assume the responsibility for others
jests, we imagine the volume contains
the following:
It was while travelling in Bermuda that
MIR. Choate was introduced to General
Sir William Wintergreen of her Majes-
tvs Blues. Having heard of Mr..
Choate's fame as a master of repartee.
General Sir William resolved to put it
to the test before large company gath
cred in his honor.
"Mr. Choate," said he, "you have
studied architecture, I presumed" +
"Well," replied Mr. Choate, calmly,
mot deeply. General Sir William, but
know house from an automobile and
could distinguish off hand, I think, be-
tween an Italian renaissance facade and
a piece of pumpkin pie"
quite so" observed General Sir Will
liam. "But, Mr.. Choate, do you know
when door is not door,"
The witty American chuckled slightly
to himself, and then without an instant's
hesitation replied:
"Af, General Sir William, indeed I
do. When it's ajar." IN. B.-This is
newD
Mr.. Choate was once asked by an
American newspaper reporter who was
trying to find out who illustrious men
would rather be if they were not them
selves, who he would prefer to be if he
were not Mr.. Choate.
81 am sure 1 cannot say" returned
the famous wit. "I have never not been
myself"
While crossing the ocean Mr.. Choate
was asked as to his plans upon his ar
rival in London.
"Well, madam" he replied, "of course
I can't say just now, for, as you OBJ
serve, I am entirely at sea. But the first
thing I shall do, I presume, will be to
study the language"
MIR. Choate, when asked by Lord
1veagh, the famous brewer, why he and
not General Porter was sent to England,
the witty American replied: "Me Lud,
to send Porter to a country that makes
such excellent beer would be like send
ing Goals to Newcastle or gloom to the
Isle OF Man."
On the appointment of his predeces-
sor to the portfolio of state Mr.. Choate
said in confidence to Mr.. Depew: "I
suppose the president wants to make
Hay while the sun Shines"
Mr.. Choate is sometimes embarrassed
by his own wit. An inquisitive Eng
lishman once asked him as to Mr.. De-
pew's rank in the United States.
rs he man of high station?" asked
the Briton.
"He's man of the Grand Central sta
lAoi, ACplACu MI. NuOdCe, WlIIl q CWlIkl6
in his eye.
"Aw," said the Briton. "Grand CEN
tral-nliddle clawss, I presumed"
1t took the witty lawyer four hours to
explain that his joke was based upon the
fact that Mr.. Depew, as president of a
railroad had his office in railway sta
ton.
1t is not known whether it was in
jesting mood or because of some natural
embarrassment on the ambassadors pa1ts
that caused him in his first address to
her majesty to begin with the we'll
known American formula, 'If your hen
or please" In any event, Mr.. Henry
White, the talented secretary, tugged at
his coat-tails warningly, and with Won
derful readiness the ambassador correct
ed himself by bowling low and saying
suavely: Cor, as I should have said,
may it please the court"
The ice was broken at once, and the
new ambassador became, as his friends
all knew he would, so distinctly per-
soma grata that he was invited to stav
over night at the castle and breakfast at