The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-11-27

England pie deterrent. "shafl I give
dyspepsia pills with every pie?" he
wondered, and pondered the Concealed
method by which the medicine came
wrapped up in the stuffing of an apple
pie. This he discarded as too Bor-
gian, and his great inspiration came to
him IN a flash.
Sanitary pie!' he gasped. He put
carload of ordinary pies into his
underground laboratory, with pies in
the raw, and he shut himself from the
light of day to struggle with his idea,
Farewell, he said, as the bulkhead
fell with slam, farewell, bright orb,
until | have made pie that can take
the place of tactical pabulum, that the
newborn babe can eat with pleasure
and without tummy- ache"
He emerged a few days later, full of
pie and with triumph in his hands.
lie was tioury, pale on that account
and haggard with loss of sleep and a
pie diet. But he had tray of pies,
of different tlavors, which embodied
his new idea of the sanitary pie. He
gave one to dog, who shifted and ate
greedily. The dog followed him; he
gave away pies in Brooklyn until he
was nearly arrested, and wound up in
a saloon at night very much in the
condition of Robert Louis Stevenson
young man with the cream tarts. He
had one left, and nobody would take
it. Nov, if after all l have gone
through" said he. "if | can eat this
you're liking" He ate and lived.
Three days later this man, whose
name sounds as though a button had
been pushed arrived in New Haven,
well dressed and at the strategic point
of the pie belt. He went to work at once,
and has now formed his pie trust, which
he expects will control the business of
the entire east.
IT'S simple enough" he said to a re-
porter. There never was a New Eng
lander who hadn't a mouth for pie
There are those who can eat pie in
New England four or five times a day,
and in the rural districts it is considered
a sign of opulence to have pie for break
fast and two kinds on the table for din
ner Considerations dealing with the eff
fects of pie have alone deferred many
from allowing themselves pie debauch-
es. Now, my sanitary pie"
What are the ingredients of sanitary
pie, and what is its favor?" asked the
reporter.
Never you mind young man." smiled
Mr.. king. 1--WE learned that at a good
deal of trouble, and it's trade secret !"
He shook his fist at a coal cart passing
outside. "Oh, you people," he cried,
how you've got to work for me! You've
got to drive carts and shovel coal, and
bend long days over desk and counter
to feed me fat! Your appetites shall be
my bank account. No, young man." he
continued more calmly, II cannot tell
you what sanitary pie is made from.
But you would never know, except by
the absence of ill effects, that it was
sanitary pie. 1t is made and mixed I'M
der perfectly hygienic conditions. and
so made and baked that it is perfectly
digestible. I believe that the introduce
ton into New England of this pie will
almost entirely Danish dyspepsia here.
Why, sir, 1, as the man who invented
that pie shall be regarded as the great
est benefactor of the race this century,
not even excepting Edison. Pie dreams
are to be abolished. The formation of
the trust, shutting out the ordinary de-
leterious pie, is a beneficial act in itself.
And the pie can be made in every con-
ceivable variety, from mince to lemon
meringue."