Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1899-10-22

CAMPAIGNING MADE EASY.

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CAMPAIGNING MADE EASY
Just ;it this time il looks as If | shalt
rot take the stump in the forthcoming
presidential campaign. If either Of tho
Two great national political organiza-
tons has sent committee to wait on
me with q proposition must hav, been
cut when the committee called Some
body left i tray Of diamonds ana an
other OF spades on my desk one evening
last week. but aside from that ] harts
found no cards III my boudoir to show
That anyone called: and [ take ii that
i man VII" has been in politics long
enough 70 get on committee, thar
The bosses would send out t. sec
q man would not be tho party to ven
'u"c a call With n pair Of trays
think coul! hay" helped Mckinley
a good deal on tina, tour through The
'S"i Invest, Which he has just closed. I
an equally confident that if | had been
seen hy Colonel Eryans friends beior"
he started out on his Kentucky Ohio
TAI end Of I car myself. and those.
cured and good deal more eelat added
I" the expedition thereby
aln not the person to figure out With
. lead pencil on my cuff for the benefit
Of thc byStand"rs an estimate 81 the
number Of good votes that passed BY
he board al tn" various stopping plac Is
~ account Of my not being there, but
/ have made 4 few speeches from the
ti'll end Of /: car myself and those
VII" listened To me said they had never.
beard anything like it before.
I would like to call the attention or
lie Democratic and Republican ma
lionai organizations to an invention -
Gently perfected hy me. Which is do
signed 70 facilitate campaign work re
Ii"ring tho parties high priced orators
Hf much Of tn" mental strain ana phv-
slcal suffering. lforesdnawhob lgyis
sica suffering; they are now forced 10
endure while nxn"unding the articles
~ 'hclr respective political creeds to
ne voters Of 4 dozen towns in a single
tay This campaign speaking is doing
core towards making physical wrecks
81 the political orators Of America than
ANYTHING | can think when | an .x-
planning nc advantages Of my inge-
nous and Indispensable mechanical,
cnhtilNancc. which | intend to have
patented and copyrighted under the
significant title. Tho orators Friend on.
EVcrS Nan His Own Demos,hcn.s 1t
mis- a long felt want and is destined 10
llmr into instantaneous favor among
r""r!c who have more talking Ia do
nan IS really good for them. The
streets Committee Of the Council t,u..ht
- "";tr out several Of them before. IN.
contract for paving the highways ,r
ihiS City IS awarded. The machine Is
really priceless in value Eii; i IS
SOMETHING - fscl that on. is con
fr!ring great boon upon humanity.
ana in view If this have decided to
put 4 piic" uron it that will place j,
within The reach Of all. and then turn
u Loose without word Of warning
The Orators Friend. or EVERY Nan
us own Dcmosthenes is an iintomatan.
equipped with a DhOnogra phic attach
nleHt. me &utGmaton is Il lifc-SiZp
ngnrH IN exact reproduction In appear
;ur'' or the particular 81 cake. Tor Who's.
service II is designed 1t can b. con
Nenlently carried by any orator who, is
81 sufficient Importance to travel in a
SpccGt Gar. Whr ~, in use the M, !
chime can be packed away in about the
same space as would be occupied by Z;
llVc- gallon Wicktr-cnVe:ed lunch bas-
ket. 1t is easily and quickly prepared
Tor use. \ smart young man like John
addison Porter ur Mr. Mckinlay'S yri y
Eate secretary. could unIarll il, put i;
together and rush ii out on the plat-
TORN 9! the car al two minutes notice
Just think Of what a relief it would
have been 10 Nh. Mckinley on that trip
through the Northwest if. after having
made sixteen 81 aan.hcs in eight GOurs at
seven county seats and nine Way sta
tons John Addison Porter had fished
something like my Orators Friend out
81 ms Siil'Sack ana served It Gp 10 lnc
hoWi:nE rabbi" at The seventeenth stop
pms place, while the President himself
sat back in his :eat. With the windows
<rr,;iin"d and Mi. Cortclynu holding Ii $
coat and collar, reading David Harum
81 course 1t would be rather rough on
nc poor, trusting farmers to practice
such = hise deception upon them. I'ut
1htr, you know. they're used to it.
The Orators Friend as it stands tn
81 the platform with its hand soc,e,1
into the breast Of its frnck coat, W ID
the rlboN IN exact image of the eminent