The Dickinson press., 1899-03-11
|HUMOR OF LUNATICS;
AsANE MANS EXPERIENCE IN AN IN
GAME ASYLUM.

FOoAe0 ~ h Inmates He Was
Ready to Distrust Even. the Super
intendent of the Institution.
II never knew until I went out I'd
California this time that insane people
have a powerful sense Of. humor," said
3 Washingtonian who recently returned
from a trip to the coast. II confess that
I've always found a morbid sort Of In
tereet in going through noted insane
asylums. and 80 I armed myself with
the proper credentials in San Francisco
and went up to Napa county to have q
look over the splendid asylum for the
insane there. Inasmuch al I wanted to
see a few things without the attention
Of q guide. I didn't present my letters
but just rambled around the beautiful,
spacious grounds for awhile. I hadn't
spent three minutes examining the ex-,
traordinary rose gardens in front Of tho
main asylum building before q tall,
slender young man, well dressed and
exceedingly well groomed, emerged
from a clump Of oleander trees and ap-
preached me. +.
"Taking a look around. chit" said
he to me. :;
YES I said. 4 only arrived here
a few minutes ago. and I'm taking tho
liberty Of nosing about without any
official guidance
We'll the tall young man said,
pleasantly, 4 don't suppose fall ont
of the classification "oficial guidance"
seeing that I am the assistant superin-
tendent here. yet I should be pleased to
show you about and at the same time
try not to place any restraint upon you
by my awe inspiring presence
"Well. the young chaps manner was
80 pleasant and winning that T could
only thank him for his kindness, and
we started over the grounds We
hadn't gone far before a middle aged
man, also we'll dressed and well groom
ed, appeared some distance in front Of
us down the gravel walk, and he beck
oned to my companion. The young
man excused himself c~ourteoualyf and
went up to the middle aged man. The
two conversed earnestly together for q
few minutes, and then, linking ar1ma,
what do they do but coolly walk of,
leaving me standing there in the mid
die of the gravel path, q good deal nom
plused.
Surprised over the way they de-
serted your said a voice right back Of
me. You mustn't mind a little thing
like that. though. Both Of those men
are as crazy as looms
IT turned around, and there, stand
ing behind a hedge about ten feet tony
rear, was a little old gentleman, neatly
dressed in black, and with a quizzicA
smile on his features
"'Surely,' I said, you cannot mean
that that rational speaking, PLEASANT
hammered young man who was conduct
ing me about the grounds Is bereft Of
his witsF *'
Mad as a March hare, repeated
the old gentleman fatty. 'lncurable
case. Harmless, but incurable. The
man that he went off with is also q
very sad. case-very. Thinks he Is the
Maharsjah of .Bludblud, OF. something
like that. But you mustn't mind EN-.
Lots Of visitors are taken In the same
way. If you care to, I'll just show you
around. I am one Of the board of visit
ors of this institution and just happen
to be here in my unofficial capacity TO-
day ~
"Much marveling over what the old
gentleman told me. I fell in with him,
and we rambled around the huge gSra-
mum arbors, and finally entered the
enormous glass building where the oil.
tivation Of violets is carried on.
"'Nice array Of flowers. isn't itf'
the old gentleman inquired Of me, wav-
ing his hand at the beautiful beds Of.
violets in bloom. 4 am not inordinatay
vain, my friend, I hope you VIII under
stand, and yet I cannot but congratu-
late myself upon the introduction Of
this violet raising feature here. for I
myself was responsible for it and. only
succeeded in having this dollhouse on
structed after enormous exertions with
the authorities of the institution
II congratulated the Old gentleman
upon the result 81 bis labors and Wa
just about to ask him to take me into
the main building and introduce ne 70
the superintendent when he suddenly
excused himself, saying that he. Ind
left his spectacles on q bench III tho
gardens and would be back directly. I
waited for him for fully ten minutes.
but as he did not return T. started on
out Of the glass building.
"'You didn't really expect him
back3' I heard avoice sey, and then
a pleasant faced man, dressed 81. Ia
borer and carrying q watering pot.
came from behind agroup.o 81 palms.
He spoke with a Scotch brogue
"'The old gentleman you were with
is very bad up here said the man with
the watering pot, touching his fore
head. He's been here for 80 years, and
he fancies he owns the place. I am the
bead gardener here, and he tries hi.
best to run me. But he don't-no. sir.
he don't. He can't No crazy man car
run me-. And the Scotchman went down
the length Of the raised violet beds wa
tering the plants.
II passed out Of the glass building
and started for the entrance to tho mai1
building. there to present my letters
As I was about to walk. up the steps *
the entrance q man with side whfsker1
and rather a sharp, piercing eye wa'ilket
up to mt.
"tYou have business here1' he in
quired Of me In a rather sharp tone
Well, I thought he. might b anothe,
Of 'em, and 20 / Kept right on. he fol
lowed me up the stairs and into tn,
Office, and ! had tdSshsnd my letters {.
him. He was The 6Gpelrrintendent' 81
smiled when I tod Elm 81 my expert
ence in tho grounds
(Which Of them was really insane'
I asked him.
Ian Of Them he replied. "-w.sh
ington Star: q
The Power Of Lyddite.
It Is a very difficult problem 70. aacer
tain the numerical sdpefIoFit1. 5f lyd
dite over Other ex~nlorvSa sIt 81 Certain