The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1899-06-08
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wat duz yer nanny give yer when
yer kitches cold, Jlmmie?" "a lick
In" Plain Dealer.
Telephone girls ought to make good
wives" "Why?" They get In the habit
of not speaking unless they are spoken
to-"
She-"What Is meant by the saying
that man is conyaleseing| He
That he has outwltted his doctor.
suppose. Topeka Capital.
THE single-scull racer exclaimed an
old lady, as she laid down the paper.
MY gracious! didn't know there was
a race of men with double sculls!'
Baggs-"It is said that Dame For
tune knocks once at every mans door"
Iaggs well, 1t was her daughter, Miss
Fortune. who called on me."-Boston
Traveller.
McLuberty-Oi'd lolke to take trip
around the wurruld. Mrs. MeI.ubberty
Sure, thot wud be folne! MeLubberty
-YIs; but fink ay the cost av gittin'
home aginl-Puck.
What Is firmness. father?" "Firm-
ness. my boy, is obstinacy in our
selves" "And what Is obstinacyF
"0bstlnacy is firmness In somebody
else. Chicago Evening Post
Osmond-"Well, thank heaven, you
have never seen me run after people
who have money" Desmond-"No;
but I've seen people run after you be-
cause you didn't have money."-Life.
|. Il had supposed. until yesterday,
doctor. that the days of the bleeding of
patients were past "And SO they are.
But what changed your mind?' 1.-The
bill you sent me."-Harper's Weekly.
Maud-"I think 1t perfectly disgrace
full, Her fiance hadn't been dead six
weeks when she married the other
man." Mabel-"But you know her
trousseau would have soon gone out OF
fashion. Bazaar.
You ought, like us. to have holidays
in honor of your great men," said the
Russian beauty. But in the American
year." said the major, there are only
three hundred and sixty-fiye days
Philadelphia Press.
She-"Do you know there's something
about you which reminds me of Ger
vera's fleet while 1t was bottled up at
SantiagoY He-"Indeedl What is it?"
She-"Your mustaehe. It's such long
time in coming out."-Chicago News.
Old Lady-"Now, porter, you're quite
sure you've put all my luggage in?-
the big portmanteau and" Porter
"All right. num-" Old Lady-"And
you're certain I've not left anything be-
hindu" Porter-"No, mum, not even a
eopper."-Tit Bits.
Bridget-"There's a man in the par
lor wants TO see you, sir" Mr.. Ardup
-"Tll be there in a minute. Ask him
to take n chair" Bridget-"Sure, sir,
he says he's going to take all the furni-
ture. He's from the installment COM
pany."-Brooklyn Life.
Patent medicine proprletor-Hereaf-
ter all testimonials must be accompan-
led by orders for at least half dozen
bottles of medicine. Clerk-Yes, sir.
Patent medicine proprietor-lf these
people want to see their names In print
they ought to pay for it.-Puck.
"What did Colonel Stilwell say about
the branded peaches we sent TO cheer
his GONZALES HE said he was
afraid he wasn't strong enough to eat
the fruit" replied the little girl, but
that he appreciated the spirit in which
It was sent. '-Washington Star.
Mr.. Wigsby-See here, my love, there
is some mistake; the baggage delivery
man has left seven trunks on our front
porch. Mrs. Wigsby twho has just re-
turned from the mountains)-Imbecile!
Don't you understand? He's coming
back after dark for the extra five
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Wife with determined alr)-I want
to see that letter. Husband-What let
ter? Wife-That one you just opened.
| know by the handwriting 1t is from
a woman, and you turned pale when
YOU read 1t. l will see 1t, siri Give 1t
TO me. sirl Husband-Here 1t Is. It's
your millner's bill.-Tlt-Blts.
"You think this man had been drink
ing" said the cross-examlning attor-
ney; "did he appear to have more than
he could carry" "I'll not say that" re-
plied the cautious witness; "but | do
think that he would have been wiser to
have gone twice after lt."-Detroit Free
Press.
Uncle Ito nephew playing the game
of war with a companion of his own
age)-If you take the fortress within
n quarter of an hour I'll give you a
dime. Youngster Ia minute later)-un-
Gle, the fortress is taken; now let me
have the dime. Uncle-How did you
manage it so quickly? Youngster-I
offered the besieged nickel and they
capitulated.
Fashionable lady member of parish
church Ito poor old woman)-'We have
got fine new organ now Into our
church, and it will be played the first
time there on Sunday next VIII you
come and hear it," "Oh, ma, ma,
ma'am," was the reply, 81 dlnna trou-
BILE myself WI the like o thae things.
| Ye see Gamma dance"
You will observe" said teacher,
that the higher the altitude attained,
the colder the temperature becomes"
But isn't it warmer up in the noun
tains?" asked the youth at the foot of
the class. Certainly not" replied the
professor; "why do you think it would
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