The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1899-05-09
The Parsons Box
s:

me of a sort of Quaker parson that ust
to come up into these parts every win
ter and travel round among the lumber
camps, holdin religious services. That
man was the deadest sot ag'in blood
sheddin of anybody l ever see, before or
since. He didn't even believe in war
between man and varmints, sayin that
it was a crime ag in God to take the life
he had given any critter of his'n. He
wouldn't eat meat becuz it was slain,
and sometimes, I can tell ye, boys, the
poor cuss was reel hard put to it for a
bellyful here in the woods whar the
heft of our provender ust to be wild
meat. I've seen him go to bed half fam
ished, when he'd stop at one of my
camps for a night and find me out of
everything but tea and venison.
"The parson-as we fellers up here
called him; he was a good sort of a
chap, too-was 8 determined not to
shed the blood of any livin critter that
he wouldn't ever fight varmints in self
defense. He didn't carry any weppin
besides his ak and jackknife, and these
he only used for cuttin his wood and
buildin his camps. What did he do
when pestered by wild critters, then
That's what I'm a-goin to tell ye.
1.-THE parson Travelled through the
woods with a strong oak box. bout z
feet long and 29 broad, sot on a tobog-
gan. 1t was the stoutest, best built box
l ever see, put together with four inch
screws and bound on the inside with
steel strips and brackets. The top raised
up, lid fashion, and was fastened on by.
eight big brass hinges. Inside thar was
a chain lock to hold the cover down, so
the devil himself couldn't raise it with
out pullin the box to pieces. Thar were
two or three small holes bored in the
end of the box for ventilation, and I'll
be blamed if that parson Teller didn't
ust to dump his duds out in the now
and crawl into that box whenever
wolves or painter or bar got after him,
and thar he'd cuddle down, as snug and
peaceful as a kitten in a basket, and
let them critters paw his chist around
ontil they got tired of it'll Thar ust to
be scratches a quarter Of an inch deep
all over that box where varmints he'd
clawed it, and the parson has told me
that sometimes he lay thar for a hull
night or a hull day till whatever crit
ter was interested in him got its curl
osity kind Of wore off and left in s'arch
of softer vittles. More than oncet he
come within an inch of freezin and
would have froze if it hadn't been for
the blanket he had in the box with him.
But sartin sure no varmint that roamed
the woods was able to crack the parsons
| shell, and he wa MT no hard shell Baptist
neither.
81 s'pose he might have gone On
boxin of himself up that way till he got
all the choppers in the woods ~convarted
if it hedn't been for an accident that
disturbed his arrangements and kind
of demoralized his principles. I'll tell
ye how it happened.
"Me and him was on the way to the
Jennings lumber camp, away up near
the headwaters of the Alleguash. 1t
was spiteful cold weather in February,
and we was anxious to reach shelter
before nightfall. The parsons box was
kind Of hard draggin up them hills,
but he stuck to it and said it want
any wuss than my pack. anyway,
which was true enough, I guess.
"Waal, it got to be along about 8
O'Clock in the AFTERNOON, when I'll be
gosh darned eff l didn't hear a wolf, two
or three miles back. give his long drawn
howl on our traill Now. thinks !, Mr..
Parson and Mr.. Rivers, there's goin to
be plenty of excitement for sc in about
an hourl The parson knew what was
comm as well as /, and he says: 4
think thar's room for two in my box,
Mr.. Rivers. Will thee not jine me thar,
when we are obliged to seek safety, on
til these poor critters become weary of
their thirst for human blood2'
sThankin you for yer hospitality,
parson,' says I, it will agree with my
constitution better, / think, to climb a
tree and pick off them varmints, one by
one, till the coast is clear for a warm
supper and a dry bunk.
: Lord, says he, lookin up with
mournful eyes, the bloodthirstiness Of
man. made in thine imagel Neverthe-
less l will continue with thee, my
friend, ontil the peril is upon us. Then
perhaps thee will reconsider and enter
the box with me-.
THAT remains to be seen, parson,
says |, for l didn't want to hurt his
f%eelin's too bad all at oncet.
Gin the meanwhile the howl Of the
first wolf had been answered by another
and another, and putty soon the woods
seemed to be full Of the yellin devils.
1t want a great while afore we could
see 'em skulkin arter us among the
trees, and | come to the conclusion it
was time to get fixed for business. Get
into yer box, parson,' says l, for I've
picked out my tree and the limb whar
I'm goin to set.
"'Thee will not jine me, then p says
he. beginnin to pitch out his plumber.
mot this trip, parson,' says /.
Some time, when it amt so cold and SC
late in the day, perhaps III jine ye.'
Farewell, then, says he. And
may God restrain thy hand.
$50 he tucked himself into his box
and I got out of the straps of my pack
and took old Spitfire up the tree with
me.
1--WE had hardly got fixed afore the
hull pack of wolves, about 20 on 'em,
was swarmin round us. They didn't
give a look at me, but begun to nose
around the parsons box. and I kind of
held off with old Spitfre, becuz I'd
never RELY seen how the parson con-
Quoted his campaign, and was a mite
Gurus to obsarve how the varmints
would use him anyway. Arter smellin
round for a few minutes the wolves be-
gun to scratch and gnaw at the box,
and finally they sot to work to tip it
over.
"Now, as I was sayin, the parsons
chist of refuge was sot on a toboggan,
to which it was bound by thongs. We
had stopped on the side of a small
mounting, and when the wolves begun
to push and haul at the box the tobog-
gan slowed around till it was p'inted
down hill, and then off she went like a
duck on ice.
" Thunderstorm thinks l to myself.
is the parson goin coastin among all
THESE trees Oure enough ne was, anu
gatherin Roadway all the time. with
the wolves trottin arter. kind Of sur
prised like. 'Parson, / yelled, unlock
that box and stop her or thar won't be
a splinter left of either of yel'
81 dunno whether the parson heard
me or not, but if he did thar want
much time to foller my instructions,
for in less than half a minute the tobog-
gan was goin like a log in the rapids
and then like a bullet out of. a SUP, and