Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1899-03-02
HIS ONE SLIP
By George Ade

ciety he perceived that most of them
We're childlike in their weak willing
ness TO be governed by impulse rather
than reason.
For one thing. they were brutally Gu
rious as to the small happenings and
the scandal of the world, so much so
that Mr. Guernsey had seen them fight
fer the possession of a morning news
paper So MIR. Guernsey schooled him
self TO restrain the instinct of curiosity.
If he were walking along a street and
saw 20 people tiptoeiug and craning
their necks to look at some object in
q show window he would have an aching
desire to push through the throng and
find out what the object was, but in
stead of doing so he would elevate
his chin In the spirit of resolution and
march on, his curiosity unsatistied, it is
true. but his soul made stronger, HIS
self-respect vastly increased and his
pity for the multitude made more pro
found.
As Mr. Guernsey learned to despise an
exhibition of eager curiosity, so he
came TO have a contempt for boisterous
merriment.
There was no piece of news which
would cause Mr.. Guernsey 10 gasp and
ask for particulars. He would simply
saw Indeed" and give the agitated
messenger calming look.
The most excrutiatingly funny story
ever told could not move Mr.. Guernsey
TO audible laughter Sometimes he
wanted to laugh, and 1t was matter
of shame with him that he enjoyed fun
nv stories. but he confined his applause
10 a pensive smile. Mr.. Guernsey had
reason 10 believe that the guffaw be-
lcnged in animal history.
SO also with demonstrative grief. At
| funerals there are some mourners who
yail and beat the cushions with their
palms. Mr.. Guernsey always sat dry
and immovable, even though it were the
| funeral of Ii near relative.
1t follows that anyone so opposed
| to the ordinary procedures under the
ordinary conditions would be set
| against the conventional batteries,
| apologies and explanations which gloss
| the ugliness of modern social life. Mr..
| Guernsey observed thatit was the habit
give a ready-made compliment TO every
woman he met, so Mr.. Guernsey, seek
| ing a splendid isolation for himself, re-
| fused TO deal in these compliments.
| Consequently, as he never hattered
| women and never cajoled them and
never pursued them, the women
thought that they hated him, but they
proved that they were interested In
| him, for they discussed them over their
| tea.
1t was remarked of Mr.. Guernsey
that he was always sparing of praise.
To commend each and every human
| performance in hackneyed adjectiyes 10
| the self-imposed task of the parlor
manikin, but Mr.. Guernsey rebelled at
the task When a young woman just
from the conservatory had tortured
sic sma efffRRn fRRnad all the 66thssf persons pres
ert would sigh that it was "Lovel y,
beautiful" and lawfully sweet" but
! Mr.. Guernsey would simply gaze at
| the tremulous amateur with lack-luster
| eve and then bring up some topic en-
tirely foreign to music-possibly he
would inquire If anyone knew where he
could purchase a rough-coated spaniel
If he was chary of his praise he was
also slow to condemn. Forceful crltl-
cism seemed to him to imply condition
of wrath, and yielding TO wrath was
yIrtually an admission of weakness
The elemental and primitive men whom
Mr.. Guernsey saw in State street were
| accustomed to become angry and sour
| if human events did not move accord
ing to their several programmes, SO
Mr.. Guernsey knew that If he wished
{! 10 no different he must control his tenn
per.
Thus you will see that Mr.. Guernsey
was not a cynic. He fancied that he was
n stole. but his stoicism was only q
she'll. Within him were all the rational
impulses and emotions. He suffered
and he was happy, he aspired and ne
despaired, he loved and he hated, but
he allowed no one to suspect. lie
straint-restraint! Always the curb
He never removed the mask. He was
n hypocrite even while he convinced
himself that he was too strong anc
brave and free to initiate the usua
modes of hypocrisy.
Thus when he met Miss Olivia Ray
burn the hypocritical Guernsey, th'
6isciplinarian, said that she was ma
terial organism made up of oxygen, ny
drogen, carbon, iron, phosphorus ant
other simple elements, and on the splr
| itual side had inherited the follies ac
cumulating through 6,000 years OF In
ferior womanhood.
The other Guernsey (the one unde'
the shelD warmed at sight of her ant
confessed that she was the most an
pelic creature ever put at large to tan
talize the male sex. But Mr.. Guernse.
would not have acknowledged his sub
confession-no, not to his closes
friend, if he had had any close friends
which he hadn't.
So, while his heart huttered and h
felt dizziness from the JOY of her pres
ence, the habit of restraint was s.
strong within him that he stood befor
her in icy self-possession and calle'
her Miss Rayburn" with no tremor Il
his voice, and all the time that he looket
upon her he seemed to do 1t with sucl
dispassion that poor Miss Rayburn los
her sense of power and discovered tina
here was another Kind of man.
You may well imagine that she wa
puzzled and not little piqued. Sh
was accustomed to have men hover owe
aer and whisper plimentary things
She expected to find every man keeI
for tilt at flirting. She had come L
believe that all men would have to turl
and look at her in glaring admiration
when she entered room. 1t had be
come, also, n foregone conclusion tha
any man upon whom she welded he
magic charms would be transported b.
her beauty, by the mantling bushes
the persuasive sweetness of the rosebut
mouth, the tricks of the eyes and tn
encouraging tones of dallying conveT
sation, and would, therefore, eithe
propose or have to be checked in tn
act of proposing.
She found that Mr.. Malcolm Guernse
never turned his head to take u lon
look at her. He had conquered III
schoolboy trait of curiosity. He coul
put his back to her and study pictur
on the wall. At the piano he turned tn
leaves of the music, and she could no
observe that his hand trembled. Whe
she lifted her gaze and looked up a
him through the lashes, all In meltin