Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1899-06-17
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good forW Kitty (demurely)-"Their
lace value. brooklyn Life.
Judge-The only way that you can
get out is through an alibi. Prisoner
Well, Judge, whar is de alley?
Bessie-"Jack's heart is in the right
place" Lena-"How do you know p"
Bessie-"I have it."-Town Topics.
Father-"Tommy, stop pulling that
cats tail" Tommy-"I'm only hold.
Ing the tail; the cats pulling it."-Tit
Bits.
Housewife-"How dare you ask me
to feed you again?" Hobo-"That,
ma'am, Is a perfashnul secret."-De-
troit Journal.
Angry Soubrette-'T understand YOU
have been telling everybody my hair
Is not my own" Her Hated Rival
SITS false!'-Life.
Where does the boat called a
smack properly belong" 81 don't
know" "Why, on the face of the
waters. "-Philadelphia Bulletin.
Kings aughter-Mercy! DO you
allow that half-grown girl to read
lola and Ouida? The mother-I must
do something to keep her away from
daily newspapers.
! Mrs. Van Twiller (who mistakes DR..
Jovial for a physician)- where do
you practice, doctor? The Rev. DIR.
Jovial-Ah, madam, l do not practice;
! only preach.-Harlem Life.
Miss Fondart-"Jack, what do they
mean when they speak of a first-water
diamondW Jack-"One that-um-er
One fresh from the mine-never been
soaked you know."-Jewelers' Weekly.
After a man has taken a girl to the
alter as often as six times, and called
upon her with chocolates in his pocket,
she begins to see resemblance in him
to her favorite hero In a novel.-Atchi-
son Globe.
II read to-day" said Mrs. Mcbride,
"of judge who recently granted TWEEN
ty divorces in one day" He must be
one of those twenty-knot destroyers we
read about sometimes" added Mr.. Nc
Bride.-Life.
Jones-Dear me! You say you often
lay down the law to your wife. How
do you go about it? Bones-Why, all
you need is tirmness! | usually 20 into
my study, lock the door, and do it over
the transom."-Puck.
He-Why did you fail to recognize
me on the street today? She-I didn't
|
you twice. She-Oh, that probably ac-
counts for it. l never notice a man in
that condition.-Fibre and Fabric.
Cholly-Charming widow, isn't she?
They say she is to marry again. Algy-
l wouldn't want to be a widows Sec
ond husband. Cholly-Well, I'd rather
be a widows second husband than her
first husband, OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES.
Eyes, Stubs was goin' into a decline,
an the doctor said tn best thing for
him was to get an easy government job
and lie around doing nothing" "A sine
| cure, ehY' 81 don't know what kind O.
cure you call it, but anyhow he's
cured"
1.-THE trouble with him." said the
young man who had been trying to
fttingly describe an acquaintance, 'is
| that when he dipped into the sea of
knowledge he thought he brought up
80 much that the blamed thing went
dry."-Chicago Post.
Mrs. Tilford-"It must have taken
Daniel Webster a long time to COM
| ILL DOME thinlP
soY" Tilford-"Daniel? You mean
Noah, don't your Mrs. Tilford-
"Now, don't be silly. Noah built the
ark."-Brooklyn Life.
Curran, the Irish advocate, was ex-
aiming witness once, and failing to
get direct answer, said: There is no
use In asking you questions, for l see
the villain in your FACET do you, sir"
said the man. "Faix, l never knew be-
fore that my face was looking glass"
Mr.. Younghusband-Th Is no use
talking; l won't eat any more of your
cooking. Mrs. Younghusband (tearful-
ly)-And you-you-said-you were
willing to-die-die for me! But, mad
anne, there are worse things than
death. "-Sydney Town and Country
Journal.
Mrs. Proudfoot-"Yes, Mrs. Mala-
prop, that's an heirloom. It's been in
Mr.. Proudfoot's family over a hun
dred years" Mrs. Malaprop-"Do tell
I've been naggin' at John Henry to get
an heirloom ever since we moved to
the city, but he can't find any, except
secondhand ones, and | won't have
them."-Jewelers' Weekly.
His idea of the process: "As I'M
derstand it." said the heather, you