Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1899-03-20

pledged the Philippine Trading Company
that we viii carry the blessings of Free
dom and liberty TO these people-then
think of the trade and the dollars In the
job!' (spaghetfi winks and John Bull
chuckles almost audibly).
Count Spaghetti-'"Think of the dollars
in the Chinese job, your excellency!'
Major Domo-"But only by conquest,
your grace. You would tranapie with the
iron heel of despotism the rights OF a peo-
pie. You would invade tne.r native soil
the homes of themselves and ancestors
for untold centuries, to force upon them u
system of government for which they have
no liking. You effete monarchies know no
better. The idea of liberty never entered
your thick heads. Cine Major IN his e,o-
quence mounts table. Spaghetti becomes
vsably excited. You dream only of con-
quest, hideous conquest, Go, Spaghetti,
and eat your maccarom IN peace and
leave conquest to bloody minds"
Count Spaghetti with vehemence)--
Look here. Domo what do you take mo
for? Do l look like kindergarten turned
loose? Save your tears and wind for
your constituents, but not for me, You
wooden headed tobacco sign-you don't
hilUW Wuidl yOu are Cunning dupNt+ tiHb
Major feels his pistol pocket susp.ciousiy).
Conquest Is the word that freezes your
gentle soul, is It? Spaghetti notices the
Major feeling his BACK pocket Pull out
that pint bottle and take drink, and then
listen to what / have to say! major. In
a sort of dazed and mechanical way does
so). But a short while ago I stood on
the deck of our noble battleship, the VeT-
the waters and beheld the Philippines. |
saw the dusky natives struggling to main
tain that soil which holds the ashes of
their fathers. / saw your ships and bait
teries. Saw the hurting shells burst amid
the green fol:age-then the air was filled
with jets of blood, dura mater, cerebrums,
torsos. lungs. lights and ivers, sigmo!d
flexures. black epldermfs and manged VS.
cera. ! could hear the shrieks of death.
the mingled sobs and screams Of women
and children. / could see floating in the
atmosphere the back smoke OF devasta-
ton and ruin! Now answer me. Domo-
and for once in your life be truthfu-if
this is net conquest, what, in the name Of
heaven. Is it?''
major Domo Is noupiussed. He changes
color Ike a Kaleidoscope, and says moth
lnR. Gazing out Jue WINDOW ne observes
the President and Secretary Alger walk
ing arm in arm. A happy thought strikes
him).
Count Spaghetti Ctriumphantly)-"Wh
is this slaughter II not conquest?"
Major Domo rlbs his hands and smiles
broad smile. Which lensthens and meets
at the boil on the back Of his necl). NO
tt is not conquest! 1t is-BENEVoLENT
ASSIMILATION Spaghetti is thunder
struck he becomes wrapped in deep
thought). Hence, Spagh- TIA 1lence to
your hand organ the President and the
War Lord Alger await me-"
(spaghetti, still wrapped in thought,
pays no heed TO Domo. Domo then takes
mop and knocks Spaghetti through the
front door. He faGs over the Chinese
minister who is seeking admission He
picks himself up and pursues his way fin
deep reflection. He is knocked down this
time by bicycles. He f.: hit by trolley
car and thrown through G plate glass
window into a millinery s.sop. These
trihes GO not disturb him, 50 license -
his thought. He - trying to disccs-sr the
difference between conquest" and sNse-
nevo,ent ass.mi.aton!)
End Of scene. BARON JONES