Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1899-06-10
YOU CAN'T BEAT 'E,M.
T'+iS WAS JOBSON'S CONCLUSION
ABOUT WOMEN IN GENERAL.

II Was l'ro'l.Tted by Midnight Eix.
Ecricncc with His wife. IN Which
the Revenge That He Iinh Planned
So We'll Went Sadly istrny.
Mr.. Jobson got home from his office
Mt d 10 one afternoon not long ago and
that size Lac! gone to hear the perform
ancc Of a long haired pianist and that
he d find his dinner all ready for the
girl to serve it.
"That's good thing, too, unused
Mr.. Joh>on sTll:ily when he had read
the note. Its wonder these mattress
headed geninScs that come over here to
this country and rake in American dol
lars, hating Americans all the time,
wouldn't call their game ut an hour
that nd permit toiling man $ wife to
be on hand at hCme to give him some
thing to eat when he wants il" etc.
The opportunity was too good for
Mr.. Jobson 60 miss, so he declined to
eat any dinner when the servant pnt it
on the table. Instead he slammed on
his hat and went down town
He wanted to give Mrs. Jobson les
son. He ate an unsatisfactory dinner at
a restaurant and then poked around
until it was time for a variety theater
to open its doors He had to watch a
lot of poorly played billiard games in
order to put in this time and to talk
with Il lot Of bachelors, from whose
ways Of thinking he had departed
He WAS bored exceedingly by thcater
time. The show bored him still more
but he stuck it Cut, for he wanted to
get home as late as possible, the better
to rub it in on Mrs. Jobson. BY II
o'clock he reflected that he had had
pretty poor sort of an evening-his
evening paper unread, his favorite pipe
neglected for Il lot of cigars that gave
him heartburn, Il poor dinner, idle talk
with slew of men that he didn't want
to talk to, and finally a tawdry, cheap
variety performance that might have
got a laugh out of him ten years before
but was only SO much ribaldry to him
now.
He took in a couple more billiard
games, however, after the show and
threw a couple Of cocktails into him
self, not because he cared to drink, but
because he wanted Mrs. JObson to smell
his breath and thus perceive the awful
consequences Of her conduct
Mrs. Johson was comfortably tucked
in bed when Mr.. Jobson got home
about half an hour after midnight. She
had not even left light burning in
the restibule or in the bedroom. She
woke MP very lTsurely when Mr. job
son started one of the gas jets going
She didn t say anything, however.
Mr.. lolson had expected to find her
up, fully dressed and in tears. He was
disappointed. He was more disappoint
ed that she didn't greet him with re.
pinings. Mr.. Johson saw that she was
likely to 90 to sleep again and that he
wasn't causing any grief at all by be-
ing naughty and keeping still. So he
cleared his throat and said;
"Did lie play the buck dance concerto
in Il minor with his hair, and how was
itf'
There was a lot of sarcasm in the
way Nh Juhsun asked this question.
Mrs. Joiscn didn tuln over at all.
"What are you talking aboutl' she
inquired slccpily.
II want to know if that Dutchman
that kept yon away from your duty of
serving meal to your husband after
his day IF grinding labor gave you your
moneys worth; also if yen think you'r
making any kind of Il hit with any body
by these methods, hey p
"Oh, the recital; that what yon ro
speaking Of, isn it" said Ms, Jotaun