Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1899-04-28
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"A citizen Of the south Side, Willis on
his way home last night, saw = soli-
tary individual in the shadows Of an
alley acting in a rather mysterious
manner. He approached and who did
he discover but the well-known Fat
ty' Snide, a former Wheeling citizen,
who had often figured as the chief cour-
tier in the morning levees held around
the municipal throne.
Great Scott, Fatty, what are you do
ing here?" exclaimed the astonished
citizen
Dat you. Pete? Why. 1 am jis'
victim my neck-rushin' de GROWER,
see9 Dis is awful 'tirsty work. dis
ridin' aroun an swallerin' so much
warm air, an haulin' muffin but wind
all day long. but it's puddin '-see?'
you amt running motor. are
you?"
Amt /? Didn't you see me trollyin'
de yaller Pullmans round de loop yis-
terday and to-day? Say, I chased dat
car round an round an round wild a
rank waterhau every dash out O de
box. Say, you ought to hear de nice
song l made up. I'll jis' open my face
an cough 'er out fer you:
TIP de street. an round de loop.
An down de street again,
An never gittin' nary fare.
From kids er wimmen er men.
Den up de street an down de street,
An round de loop again,
De W. nd blows froo our whiskers-
De round we go again"
Say, dats nice, amt it? I jis' war
bled dat Yesterday till went to sleep
and fell off de car. Passengers? Don't
want to be boddered wild passengers
s'pose man wants to be ringin' dat OF
bell all de time like de push fer de
fun dere is in it, see? We don't want
none O. desc Wheelin' slobs an Holsters
on de cars-else why do We bodder git
tin de injunction out on 'em-see? We
spent our good oil dough gittin' dis
injunction out 'gainst de people-de
whole city O. Wheelin'-see AN If
desc guys of dis town wants to. ride,
dey can suffer de Inconvenience of rid
in de OF fashion bus; We want de
trolley fer ourselves. S'pose I'd let
desc guys interfere wild de runnin' OF
my canal boat by stoppin' to let 'em
on, dereby delayin de carryin' O de
mails? You bet your sweet life l
wouldn't, specially when ! got dat good
CT injunction to back me up-see?
Say, you ought to heard de spiel
made to lady Yesterday. We got
lady steerer who makes de trip now an
den fer bin, you know, jis' to kind
O. fool de people, and make dem tlnk
we are goin to declare dividends dis
week. But dis was a stranger. She
stopped de car an l hoped off. Say,
she looked to me like one O. dem ate
waod ladies' De fust ting struck me
WIZ to rest her an put her in jail.
'membered dat de judge said something
bout putin wimen in jail, but
couldn't git it trough my head how to
do de act kerrect like, so | list con-
Guided I'd give her good spiel. jis'
glared at her an said in deep, sol
emn voice: Madame, do you know dat
you are t'rowin' yourself li'ble by bod
derin' desc cars-do you know dat you
are bumpin' up 'gainst de whole Uni
ted States when you hail dis car, dereby
stoppin' it? AS long as dis injunction
is against de people of Wheelin' you
can't ride on dis car, an if you want
to ride, you mus walk, or by de holy
smoke, I'll put you in Jail? OATS what
| said, see? An what do you t'ink she
said? She jis' stuck her snoot in de air
and said. Huh! if your oil car was
Noah's ark an l was de las person out,
an de water was raisin' a mile min
ute. wouldn't git in it. Wot l want
to know is, is dis a mail car" Dat
made me hot Course it's mail car
can't you read dat sign?'
osa.p, OF. hrdl fwy pwyp wyp yppp
Oats all l wanted to know, here's
a postal card for you to mail, den
she walked off. Now, what do you
t'ink O. dat for gall eh?
dat 'un is as bad as dat man wot
got on at Bridgeport to-day. He got
off de railroad car and got on nT car.
De shock was so great dat | tainted.
My buddy wot has de paper badge and
de gun, he .trowed bucket O water
on me and l come too, see. Say, you
ought to seen me nail onto dat pas
senger. l was jis goin' to trow his off
bodily cause he looked to me like one
dem top Wheelin' gents-one dem
FRS Ward guys. Den l fought dat de
injunction didn't say nottin about
trowin' 'em off bodily, so / tried an
udder racket. Trow up yer han says
I, and he trowed her. DO you solemn
ly swear dat you don't live in Wheel
in said I. 4 do says he. live in
Oshkosh and l don't care cuss who
knows it. OATS all right, den,' says
I, you can ride Den jes as he showed
me de nickel, he says, now I'd like to
know what's de meanin' of dis monkey
bizness' Den l says, 1T means dat
we don't low no Wheelin' Holsters
ridin' ON desc cars,-we got an IRON
clad injunction against dem. Dey
amt lowed to run de cars, dey amt
lowed to ride on de cars, IL dey try it,
it's an insult to de United States gov
ment, an we will slam em in JAIL