The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-03-09
PASSING EVENTS.
BY HANS MILLER.

There is q little invention which we
hope to bring to final completion
within short time. 1t is very small
continuance and of delicate cOnstruc-
ton. 1t is no less thing than an in
strument that is guaranteed to bring
out those words which always remain
just on the tip of ones tongue. 10
literary persons it will be as valuable
as is Hoods Sarsaparilla to the weak at
the approach of spring time There is
one drawback upon which we have
worked diligently to overcome, and
that is it will not produce swear words.
\ man by the name of Gay is being
sued by his wife for divorce. Just a
year ago she presented him with trip
let's and she now accuses him of get
ting too gay.
An exchange says that there are
few suicides among miners" They are
people on earth as to what it is to be
underground
The most cOgent arrangement against
the hOnOrs conferred upon Admiral
Sampson, is the lavish manner in
which Schley is being banqueted and
0ooOrafo0 with no0aIC
For man who has successfully
bluffed Spain and Uncle Sam. .Agui-
naldo has given abundant evidence of
possessing superior mentality and
shreWdness.
John I'D. Rockefeller, it is said will
soon become Millionaire. 1t is men
with such savage instincts that are a
curse to American civilization. Such
wealth dishonors even the Stars and
Stripes.
The visitors who occasionally gather
In the dining rooms for instructive
knowledge, no doubt, imagine that it
is queer pantomine which they are
attending. Some of them were under
the impression that prisoners were en-
titled to nothing but bread and water
and supposed that this was the daily
fare. Even the most savage barbarian
knows that it is impossible for the
physical system to labor necessarily, ION
bread and water. We don't know what
the gentlemans politics are or how
much money he has, but we do know
that if he was sent here for a few years
his views would rapidly change on this
subject-in fact they would change so
fast that the friction would burn the
hair off his head.
Some of the reform problems which
are brought to the attention of the
public, are so hard to solve that it al
most requires the assistance of acid to
do the business.
o OO
Philatelers should not overlook the
fact that the Dowager Empress of
China has something unique in stamps.
When boy sneeks off and quietly
smokes his first cigar, he feels as proud
as King Solomon did when the Queen
OF Sheba complimented him on his
wisdom.
The arm of the law will embrace a
sixteen-year-old boy much quicker
than it will "a pillar of society,"" The
boy being lighter, makes him much
easier to handle.
Detectives all say that the way of
the transgressor is hard-hard to find
out.
When man hollers for water in his
sleep it doesn't require a Sherlock
Holmes to tell what he is dreaming
about.
Sam Baltimore, the custodian of
brooms and slOp buckets at the cold
storage department, says that he would
rather be lamp-post in Chicago than
a prisoner doing fifteen year sentence.
Green-gOOds men do not live the
serene and cOntented life as great ma
ny suppose. In an interview with one of
them he said that he was often at.
tackled by the "blues," even in the
heyday of prosperity.