Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1899-01-20
eA.. 49,

'$'s"hyExN@
He-What is this. dear? Shc-Pound
rake. Hc-Isn't 1t rather small for its
weight?-Indianapolis Journal.
Molly-I wonder why those chickens
IRE called laghorns. Dolly-Don't you
see the little horns OH their ankles?-
Brooklyn Life.
tThere's a lady pianist ut the museum
who plays with her toes" "Umph!
That's nothing; my baby does that!'-
Yonkers Statesman.
"You look nice enough to eat" ex.
claimed the youth. "And 80 1 do" re-
piled the maiden, "three times a day."
Ohio State Journal.
Tommy-"Why are single wonen
called spinsters?" Pa-I expect it's
because they are always spinning q
web to catch a man, my boy."-London
Fun.
Manager-1f young Gotrox backs that
play of yours he is a fool. Miss Foot
htes-That's all right. Fools rush in
where angels fear to trcad.-Town
Topics.
Mrs. ~Bangle-They say that half the
world doesn't know how the other half
lives. Bangle-Then 1t must be they
don't read the patent medicine testi-
monials.-Judge.
Pupil-What, in your opinion, profess
sor, Is the most difficult mathematical
problem? Poor Professor (grimly)-
Trying to make both ends meet, my
dear sir.--Tid-Bits.
You know, after ALL said the young
father, "a baby does brighten up the
house." Single S%keptic-'I darcsay;
I've noticed the gas burning late in
your room recently
He-"What lovely flowers. DO YOU
know, they remind me of you:" She
"Why, they are artificial" IIe-'Yes.
l know: but it requires close cXamina-
tion to detect it.'-Chicago News.
n scrvant girl in n Birmingham fam.
ilv was taken to task for oversleeping
herself. We'll, ma'am," she said, 81
sleep very slow, and so 1t takes me q
long while to get me nights rest."-Tit.
Bits.
First member musical committee
"Does the new sopranos voice fill the
church?" Second membcr-'Hardly.
The ushers tell me there are always
vacant seats in the gallcry."-Detrrf.
Journal.
"Well, I'm glad o. one thing. Our
Jim seems to have good religious com
p'ny." "How is that, mother?" Ellis
last letter says he's comm home in q
converted yacht" cleveland Plain
Dealer.
81 see,' said the elderly hoarder
tthat the paper says that the foe re
treated doggedly. l wonder what sort
of retreat that was!" presumably
said the Cheerful Idiot, ',hey took tc
their Observation-Disclosures Journal.
~Judge-"You are accused of stealth.
six reams of paper, three gallons o
ink, and five gross of pens. What have
YOU to say:" Pr~isoner-''Your honor
I am a novelist, and l was merely col
lecting material for q new story
Puck.
Travelling Mana chop and a cup OF
coffee, quick! My train leaves i'll TWEEN
ty minutes. Waiter-Yes. sab. Seven
ty-five cents, sab. Travelling Man-Ds
you want pay in advance? Waiter
Yes, sab. Yo' may be gone befo' it:
cooked, sab.
ST have an invention which will revo
~lutionize the world" said the boastcr
"There ought to be a great demand TO
something like that in Central ant
South America replied the matter-of
/, fact Manufacturing Chroniclc-Tslc
graph.
"And these places where you vote
said the gentleman from Europe, "yo7
call them the polls?" "Yes," said TIL
North Carolina citizen. Eve call 'er
that. But the warmth around her
makes 'em seem n good deal more Xix
equators Star.
Burglar Bill Ito his new cell-mate)-
So you're It musician. are ye, an so
sent here fer stealing a pianny? We'll
We won't do much musical practicin' II
dis place, I'll bet. Newcomcr-Oh,
don't know. If l get hold of a file IL
probably try a few bars.-Exchange.
I'm ready" shouted the speaker, 1T
meet calmly any emergency that ma.
arise" At this moment the platform
collapsed and the speaker exhibitc,
great perturbation. "How about tina
one?" they asked him later. "That on
did not arisc."-Indianapolis Journal.
"Now that you've got your do
again." said the rough-looking maj
p%ockcting the reward, you might as
me IL l wouldn't like something t
drink" You forget, sir" sternly II
piled the owner of the animal, that
said in my advertisement. mo que.
lions asked."-Chicago Tribune.
Dudley Ito physiciaD-Both wome
ate fruit for supper, and 1 suppose
wasn't quite ripe. My mother-in-la,
was taken sick first; but believing tina
my wife would be 500 seized with
similar attack, I deferred sending fo
.,o,> ,,,~%fN ~,o,, ,o,,I1 H.. rI.N, V;yi t,,