El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1899-01-04
NEGOTIATIONS OF MR.. DOOLEY.
He Discusses the Matter of Terri
torlal Expansion With Hen

| t0r1dl Expansion MIN neh-
messy.
Chicago Journal.
WELL" said Mr.. Dooley, ''we've got
| 'em"
"Aeain?' said Mr.. Hennessy, with a
faint attempt at joke.
Never mind,'' said Mr.. DoOley.
| We've got tn Ph'lippeens. Tn
Spanyards Withdrew to tn snti-room
Says another: I say SO. too. If ct
another dinner I'd bust. What do
they want?' TIL Ph'lippeens.' will
they take thim?' We'll try an see.'
| An they come out, an says the chair
man, Senyor Monte Rice, he says:
/ oh, crool an avaricious foe, he says,
'wretched vampires he says, that wud
fallen form iv poor Spsin,' he says.
| we have no other recorse,' he says.
we must surripder to ye,' he says,
srh' brightest flower in tn diadem iv
lovely but busted Hispynolia, he says,
'th' Peril iv the Passifc is yours he
says. Take it, he says, 'anless,' he
says, 'ye're such monsthers iv croolty
that ye'd reyfuse,' he says. An we've
got Thin tn way Casey got the bull
dog-be tn teeth.
"What're we goin' to do with thin,
says We? That shows, Hinnissy, ye're
| mug wump. A mugwump's q man
that aiways wants to know what's 60
| in to happen mex an hopes it won't.
What dye think we're goin' to do with
| thin? Stirring thin an wear thin FIR
beads? Hinnissy, if all tn people in
this country was like tn likes Nv We,
! thy'd be ony enough iv We to hold q
rayform meetin' an ye'd be livin' in a
balloon off tn coast iv Maine, ye-ye
dam d Pilgrim father, ye!"
81 have a cousin that lives in Lynn"
said Mr.. Hennessy.
"Wnat diff'renc Sc does it make to you
an me what we do with tn Philip
poems, annyhow?" Mr.. DOGGY went on,
not needing the interruption. "l'm
here an tn Phi lippeeus are there, an
there's too much wather between us to
make frinds. But know what'n hap
pen. Twill be what has happened in
this very town nanny time. They'se
q sthretch iv prairie just outside tn
wants to live there because it's too
quiet But bimeby some people moves
| in frim Ohio an builds house or two
an the alderman frim ithis ward
moves FIR to snpix it to tn city. An
| ivry Oh lady says: Haven't we grow
ed enough? What's tn use iv takin'
in more territory? Isn't our govern
mint OaQ opOuRQ As hu Galu
tn good Irish people moves in an con-
auers tn savidge inhabitants an tn
mex ye know that prairie is blossoming
like a roseI gardenaan' has become
dimmy cratic stronghold. That's
expansion.
sTh' throuble with you, Hinnissy,
is We think you an Congressman Moo
nan can se' down in tn back room with
a piece of chalk an an oil slate an
figure out what's goin' to happen, but
We can't. Ye can't figure it about tn
Phpippeens, that We niver see? AS
Hogan an Mckinley both says: 'Th'
nations in tn hands iv tn Lord, anil
give him what assistance it can spare
fr'm it's other jooties.' TIL first thing
to be done is to appint sthrong ar
army iv officials that we can't find
anything FIR IN this country. Thu
comityman toll me yesterday that they
was 300 applications FIR tn bridge
whin Dorsey, that was there befure,
passed over to tn other shure an got
| tn job in tn plsnin' mill An ye
think they'se no wan fit to control
| popylat iv naygurs. l tell ye amy
man that's sthrong enough to even
| think he can get a job tur-rnin' q
! bridge in this country has force
enough to be king iv the Philippians
in wan year! 'Tis so. Well, some iv
these la-ads IL be kilt an some'll