The Worcester spy. [volume] (Worcester, Mass.) 1898-1904, 1899-12-17
TERRENCE ON THE POLICE
PENSION SYSTEM

"Oi see be The Spy thot the city
goovinmint is to considher some new
rules fer the polace departmint as will
as pinsions fer the cops, at the matin
MONDAY MOTT, said Terrence, the Irish
man. as the congress of nations assem-
bled at Tim Sullivan's round table at
the sign of the silver mug, last night.
Now OF have some frinds on the
foorce an maybe it's not fer me to say
thot the cops shuddin't get pinsioned
whin they are too ould to thravel a bate
an Whack a dhrunk over the coco whin
he's opstreperous, but OF dinnaw as OF
comprayhind the logic av it at all, at
all. Shure why shud they get pin
sions in prifrence to the ould lads thot
tile on the sthrates or the firemin or the
foine body av min an wimmin thot
taches our gossoons in the pooblic
schools? OF think Dyes, thot we had
better convert ourselves into a COM
matee and attind the session av the
council and do bit aV lobbyin' aginst
the ordher AS fer the rules, faith DIN
in favor av ivry wan av thin. We
made discipline in the departmint and
it's high tonne thot the cops were
FORCED to pay fer their male tickets.
IT'S gettin' now so thot one av our
own can't get on the foorce at ALL To-
day, in ordher TO be ellajaybil fer a
posishion we must come from down aste
er the Canuck provinces, and first an
foremost, We have to sarve an appren-
ticeship dhrivin' an dice wagon. Thin,
afther a whole, We graduate to the
loonattic asoilom as kayper. The mkt
step is the polace departmint; so We
see. Dyes, tbs the har-rd thing fer us
native AmerrycanS to get our roits. 1t
is so.
Some min wild the toired falin have
fer a motto, THE worruld owes me a
Twin The cops motto is The lunch
man owes me a handout' IT'S to make
the cop pay his score thot the rules
were FORMULATED by me frind an coun-
thryman Jim Drinnan, chafe av polace.
Now OF know what oi'm talking
about. byes. Faith, tbs minny an min
ny mott whin OF slipped into a lunch
CART or rustyrunt to hear a sthrap-
pin big cop calm fer quadraehure aY
pie an a cup av Java with sometimes
a little exthray on the soide, an OF
can hould up me roit hand an swear
thot diyvil the clint did OF liver see thin
pay fer it. Now, accordhin' to wan av
the new rules av the chafe, the cops
will have to at Taste offer to pay fer
The bite an the sup, though OF think
thot if the rule passes, the byes on the
foorce will have a mintal reservation
to place undher artist ony waither thot
is indiscrate enough to accept the pay
mint.
Thin. there's another rule thot
provides thot ony cop thot do not loike
the bate he is on and gets some ladin'
cittyzins to patition the chafe to have
him brought up town, where the BARNS
are warmer fer snooze an a few con-
walnut back doors where he mott oc-
casionally mate a frindly BARTENDER, he
shall be soobject to immadejit dismiss
sal.
'Oi understand thot the roit av the
cittyzin to slape durin' the minister
sermon shall not be curthailed al
though there is some provision fer his
artist in the event ay his snorin durin'
the sarvice. which will lay him lible to
artist fer disturbin' the pace.
Wan thing OF must commind about
the new rules. Sthrict instructions are
to be given to the cops not to use their
clubs onless their loves are in danger
an nivver to use the revolver onliss he