davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20
WASHINGTON IRVING'S LOVE.
A Cherished Memory which ke-
manned with the Gentle Humor-
list Through Life.

No man Of letters has ever held a
warmer place in the affections of his
countrymen than Washington Irving.
When the gentle humorist' died,
commercial New York flew flags at
haf-mast, and the city government
recognized his departure as an occasion
for public mourning. His life felt the
touches Of romance.
Once the hand of Washington was
laid on Iryiug's head, and neither as
boy nor man did he forget the blessing
then given. He was born in New York,
a few months before the British evacu
ated the city, and his patriotic mother
said:
'Washington's work is ended, and the
child shall be named after him"
One day the child's Scotch nurse saw
Washington enter store, and followed
him in.
please, your honor" said she.
heres BARN was named after you"
Washington tenderly blessed the boy.
1t was while Irving was engaged in
writing his most humorous book
"knickerbocker's History of New
York" that there came to him the ro-
nance of a great sorrow. Miss Hotf-
man, to whom ne was engaged to be
married. died after a brief illness. This
death cause his life to lack the great
event of marriage" and bequeathed a
cherished memory, which neither time
nor activity effaced.
When Irving died, in his seventy
sixth year, "A lock TO which he himself
had kept the key" says Mr.. DeWolfe
Howe, in his american Boolmen,"
was found to guard braid of hair
and beautiful miniature, with a slip
of paper marked in his own handwrit-
ing, Matilda Hoffman. No less faith
fully had he kept her Bible and Prayer
Book throughout his life"
lrving'S publisher. &. 7. Putnam,
said that 40 years after Miss Hoffman's
death, he had the miniature retouched
and remounted for its possessor, then
66 years old. when | returned it to
him in suitable velvet case. he took
il TO quiet corner and looked intent
~ on the face for some minutes, APP
parently unobserved. his tears falling
freely on the glass as he gazed."
who shall say" asks Mr.. Howe, that
the cheriShing of such a memory as
this did not find its direct expression
in the gentle chivalry with which he
bore himself as a writer and as a man,
towards all women?"
Yes, some griefs are medicinable"
they humanize the soul. - Youths
Companion.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20
AN UNKNOWN ANIMAL.
The Surprise of a Western Hunter
Who Had Killed His
First buffalo.

In 1912 Gen. William Ashley, the head
of the Rocky Mountain Fur company,
Travelled up the Platte valley with a
large party of men, all of whom were
suffering for want Of food. Before they
reached the buffalo country the In
dams had driven off the herds. and Gen.
Ashley's men We're reduced to an allow
ance Of half q pint of -four a day This
was made into kind of Cruel, and
served to keep them alive.
If it happened that a duck or goose
was killed, it was shared as fairly as
possible, but still the men were in a
sad plight. Finally one of the party,
Jim Beckwourth, came on lucky find
of deer and game, and the next day
he was even more successful in a way
entirely surprising to himself. He had
climbed tree to get a fairer view, and
he says:
Il perceived some large, dark-colored
animal grazing on the side of a hill,
about a mile and half distant, / was
determined to have a shot at him.
Meat was in demand, and the fellow,
"tlI-StOItu, NdS NOltA ii tHOuSdIC
ducks.
Il approached cautiously within rife
shot, scrutiniZing him very closely,
and still unable to make out what he
was. Taking good aim. l pulled the
trigger; the rifle cracked, and | made
rapid retreat toward the camp. After
running about 200 yards and hearing
no movement behind me, | looked
round and saw, to my great JOY, that
the animal had fallen.
Continuing my course TO camp, l
met the general, who saw blood on
my hands from previous encounter,
and asked me:
Have you shot anything, Jim?'
eyes, sir
"'What have you shot"
1.-TWO deer and something else l
answered.
land what is the something else|
"I don't know, sir
"'What did he look like? Had he
| horns?'
| 81 saw no horns, sir
"'What color was the animal?'
"'You can see him, general said |,
by climbing yonder tree
He assembled the tree accordingly
and took look through his spy-glass.
"A buffalo, by heavens.' he cried.
''He came nimbly down and gave or
| ders for us to take a couple of horses,
! go and dress the buffalo and bring him
to camp.
This was the first buffalo | had ever
! seen, though | had travelled hundreds
| of miles in the buffalo country; and |
had actually been so excited as not to
notice his horns. The general had
many hearty laugh at me over those
horns. | had ignored them at rifle
range, and he had seen them plainly
when he was nearly two miles away
Youths Companion.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20
DUCKS OR STOCKS?
An Investment That Pays Better
Than DabbIing In Stocks
on Tips.

A circular sent out by firm of tipste.s
says: 1T is now over threeI years since we
first addressed you about Our stock opera
tions. During that time had you invested
800 at the beginning and compounded your
profits, your 500 would now be nearly
$4,775 Is there any Business that will pay
you better than, s4,7 75 profits on 800 CAPT
tai in three Naars?' A copy of the circular
fell into the hands Of man who made this
rejoindeps
"Tha answer is, yes-ducks, tame, pud-
die, musc6vy, Pekin, or any other breed.
A little girl had 10 cents with which she
bought a sitting of duck eggs. She Dor
rowed a brooding chicken hen from her
mother, and all the eggs were Matched out.
Her profits for the first six months were So,
and she kept three hens and drake for
the next six months operations. 1t is fair
topIesume that her profits will be at least So
for each six months one year SIG; three
years, $4S. Divide S4S by her Is cents and
the quotient will be 320-that is, each of
her 10 cents will produce 800 cents; on 81
or 100 cents the profit will be $4,000 cents,
or $500; on 500 capital the profit would be
$4,000, against the $4,775. Verify good
investment is in duck eggs"
Cure your cough with Hale's Honey of
Horehound and Tar.
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one minute.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20
Her Idea OF Her Worth.

y Canadian minister had Just married
n couple. The registers were signed,
and nothing remained but the giving
and taking of the fee. The bridegroom,
IA strapping young fellow, asked: How
much is it?' The parson glanced at the
smiling bride and slyly answered:
whatever you think its worth" Now,
it should have been worth a good deal,
for the girl was young and pretty. Il
reckon it's worth about 80 cents" said
the swain, holding out two quarters.
The clergyman looked blankly at the
coins. then turned TO the fair one. I'm
leave il you, madam" he said, What
do you think it's worth?" What did
this young and bluShing bride do? She
reached out, took the'coius, handed one
quarter to the minister and put the
other quarter into her pocket! "A
thrifty wife" said the Canadian, with a
sigh, lis her husbands crown. San
Francisco Wave.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20
Life Saved by Swa1np-RS0t.
The Great Discovery That Cures Kid
ney and Bladder Troubles.

Statistics prove that more people are
brought to the grave by diseases of the
kidneys and bladder than by any other
disease.
For many years medical science has
been trying to discover some remedy
that would positively overcome these
dangerous troubles.
But not until recently was the discov-
ery made. Doctor Kilmer, the eminent
physician and scientist, after years of
study and research, and after test on
test that never varied in the grand re-
suit. announced the discovery Of Swamp
Root, which has proven itself most
wonderful cure for all diseases of the
kidneys and bladder.
While Swamp-Root has proven such
remarkable success in curing kidney and
bladder diseases, it has also proved
equally invaluable in the cure OF blood
diseases. rheumatism, liver and stomach
troubles and in the regulation and cure
of all uric acid troubles.
Swamp-Root has been tested in so
many ways, in hospital work, in private
practice, among the helpless too poor to
purchase relief, and has proved so sue
cessful in every case, that a special ar
rangement has been made by which all
readers of this paper, who have not al
ready tried it, may have sample bottle
sent absolutely free by mail. Also a
book telling more about Swamp-Root
and containing some of the thousands
upon thousands ialletters re-
ceived from men and women who owe
their good health, in fact, their very
lives, to the wonderful curative prop
critics of SwampRoot. Besure and men
ton this paper when sending your ad-
dress to Dr. Kilmer & Co., Binghamton,
N. Y.
This great modern discovery is for
sale at most drugstores in fifty-cent
and one-dollar sizes.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20
Travelled rs Live stock.

Mrs Mary A. Livermore, the well
known social reformer, once travelled
as live stock" in order 10 keep an APP
pointment to speak at a meeting in
Cincinnati. She had missed her train.
and a cattle train was TO leave in seven
minutes. You see that l can't take
you, madam" said the conductor,
showing his Instructions which for.
bade him taking any freight but live
stock. You viii have to wait for the
next train"
If l am not live stock will YOU
please tell me what am?" queried the
lady. and aftera moments thought the
conductor weighed and billed her a 5
regular live stock freight and gave her
the usual live stock receipt when She
paid the charges. - Cincinnati En-.
Quirer
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20

magnificent state of California He's
got the admiral penned in, and this is
his one chance in life to make a speech,
so he talks for an hour or so, and then
he SAYS: We will now conduct the adj
miral to the reviewing stand, where lie
will shake hands with 10000 school
children
Next you see them dragging that
poor man to an open carriage with
bunting ali over it, What good are his
eight-inch guns to him at time like
that? Can he withdraw for breakfast
if he wants to? ] should say not. He's
thrown into a carriage and the chair
man of the entertainment committee
gets in and sits on him so that he can't
escape. Then this chairman tells him
about the arrangements. He says: AT
one o'clock you are to lunch at the CLUB
with me. At two o'clock we Will have
aH exhibition by the fire department.
At $3.50 you go up in the captive balloon.
At three we will have something to eat
and drink at the Commercial club. At
four o'clock you are to inspect the Sun
day school zouavcs and make short
speech. At 4:30 the Ministers associa-
ton will meet you and present you with
an address on Satan. At five we will take
a trolley ride, accompanied by the alder
men. At $3.50 the German singing so
cieties will serenade you at the hotel.
At six YOU are to dine with the Daugh-
tiers of the American Revolution, and
afterward attend a performance OF
Camille" the manager having gen
orously placed a box ut your disposal,
as you will see in all the morning pa
pers. Now, after the show, some of the
boys want you to come up to French
restaurant and have little supper with
them. They're all great admirers of
yours, and they've ordered seven cases
of wine!'
"Oh, my!" exclaimed Miss Dixon.
"Do you suppose they'll keep him as
busy as that
That's merely the work of one com
mittee," said Mr.. Sweet. That's only
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20


to the hotel and have the admiral kiss
them. Well, of course, these letters
needn't bother him. He can throw
them into the waste basket if he wants
to. Probably that's what he'll do. Then
he'll drop into a chair and say: At last
l can have moments peace Just
then the wardrobe door opens and out
steps a tall woman carrying hand
satchel. She says: Admiral, my pen
name is Susette Gall. Of course you've
read my articles. | have come TO get
your life-mask for the Sunday paper
1t goes into the colored supplement, and
l think we shall do it in pink" That
is properly his finish. That is when he
begins to get his rest and quiet in
chunks. Now, Mr.. Crosby and ladies',
/ may have perverted sense of humor,
but do you sit there and tell me that
you don't see something eXcrutiatingly
funny in the suggestion that Admiral
Dewey return to this country in order
TO get away from all esponsibility and
excitement? Which do YOU recommend
for nervous prostration--a sanitarium
or boiler shop? Rats. As soon as we
hear that Admiral Dewey is coming
YOU can bet that We'll get together and
arrange to give him a dose of rest and
quiet that he'll remember as long as he
lives. Chicago Record.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20
Hare Hunting.

Hare hunting is undoubtedly more
antique sport than the chase of the
fox. Nenophon pursued it with delight
in ancient Greece, and in Britain the
hare was for centuries looked upon as
a far more worthy quarry than the fox.
which, until the time of Queen Eliza
beth, and even later. was regarded as
mere vermin. Nicholas Cox. author of
The Geiitteman's Recreation" a work
ON sport, published in 1877, writes thus
enthusiastically: AS of all chases the
Hare makes the greatest pastime. so it
is great delight and satisfaction to
see the craft Of this little poor Beast
III her own self-preseryation." And ii
Is to be admitted that in those shifts
and eNpedients which afford TO lovers Of
hounds the true delights of hunting the
flmid hare is al least as fertile as any
known beast Of chase in any part of
LIE world.-London Saturday Review.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20
When Dewey Comes
BY George AIDE

hON nee in awhile l see something
funny in newspaper, and this
is the greatest joke of the century"
said Mr. Sweet, up at our boarding
house. lie was looking at the morning
paper, which was folded and proppei
against the sirup pitcher in front of
him. As he spoke he seemed almost
pleased. The expression of saturnine
ferocity softened into one of malignant
glee.
Miss Baxter, the art student, Mr..
Crosby, of the wholesale grocery, and
Miss Dixon, the stenographer, looked
up in surprise. No wonder. Mr.. Sweet
did not often praise any work of man.
He had an especial contempt for puns
and witticisms. He WINGED at the
repartee which sent the young women
into hysterical giggling. Therefore, for
Mr.. Sweet to say that he had found
something funny was altogether out of
the ordinary and for him to give the
opinion that certain joke was the
greatest of the century" was simply
astounding.
For goodness sake, read it to us,
Mr. Sweet said Miss Baxter. II didn't
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20

it with the driver and is taken around
to the back door and let in through the
kitchen, starts upstairs and thinks he's
all right. Suddenly a big man comes
down the hallway and grabs him by
the hand and says; Admiral, | don't
suppose YOU remember me, but / ate
dinner at the same table with you at
Old Point Comfort Is years ago. Me
and a few of my friends is about to
take a drink, apd we want you to join
us. Come along now and have just one,
This ones on me! Oh, be good fellow.
What thc-come on Your moneys no
good when you're with us. Oh, come
on! Well, take Il cigar, then. | want
you TO meet these boys. They all know
about you. One of EN- had brother
at Manila. Wen, then, look here. If
you can't go with us now, where can we
meet you tonight after the show" And
all the time, mind you, this big fellow
has been trying to pull him over and
get him into the elevator.
suppose that the admiral finally
gets to his room and locks the door?
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20
Women snuff Takers.

Womankind snuffed $4,000, 900 pounds
of American snuff last year. That is
rot all. for much foreign snuff was
consumed Of which the most precious
was the Portuguese article. 100 years
old and as dry and fragrant as mummy
dust. and doubtless used BY old-fash-
Toned persons.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20
svaIIowed his False Teeth.

A man recently swallowed ais false teet9
and it drove him mad. Stomachs VIII STAND
q great deal, but not everything. II yours Is
weak try Hostetter's Stomach Bltters. II
cures Indigestion, constipation, kidney anu
liver troubles as well as aaFL aat anu r aI
nervo1s affections, ana is strongly recon-
mended at this season Of the year when the
system is rundown and most susceptible to
disease. All druggists keep 1t.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20

a rough outline of
what they'll try to
do to him the first
day. But suppose
that he kicks and
refuses to go to all
these places? Sup
pose he says that
he has come home
to rest? He insists
on going to his ho-
tel. When he gets
there the street is
iaumpl He fixes
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20
Sur,e.tiops for Spring Cleaning.

Much of the labor of house cleaning m, may :!
be avoided by the exercise OF GOOD Jug.
must be selected for the work; usually the
first of May is the best time to begin. Every
thing should be in readiness 6eiorehan ana
Brooms, brushes, tacks and strings should
be provided. The windows, and pants can
be perfectly cleaned by washing with warm warm
water and Ivory Soap; the free use OF ilthe
and borax will purify and deodorize the
premises. , p,pxEp
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20
Growth of Russian Marine.

Because Of the growth of Russian
commerce BY sea, a company for the
classification Of ships has been formed
on the model Of the British Lloyds and
the French Bureau Yeritas-Clicaoo
Inter Ocean.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20
Ak Your Dealer for Aliens Foot-Ease,

A powder to shake into your Shoes II resUS
the feet. Cures Corns, Bunions, Swollen, sore
Hot, Callous, Aching, Sweating feet ana IN, IN,
new or tight shoes easy. Sold by all DRUGGISTS
and shoe stores, 25c Sample mailed FREE.
Address Allen S. Olmsted lie Roy, n. \.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20

He finds on the
{ Il b ! G a b o II t Il
bushel of cards
and letters. All
the letters relate
to children born
May /, 1898. Every
b o y i $ II a m e d
George Dewey and
every girl is Phil
ippine Manila. The
parents wish to
brinu the children
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20

What Affected Appreciation Husband
What was that you were playing my
DEAR" Wife-"Did you like it," ct
was lovely!-thc melody divine, the
harmony eXquiste!' ut is the very thing
played last evening and you said it was
horrid. i" well, the steak was burned last
evening. "-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20

wv EIyCcME. l IL IL II 1 IL Iol al
week after you read it, joke that will
present new and humorous aspects
every time you take up the study Off t."
Il never heard that kind of a joke"
said Miss Dixon. Il just laugh, and
then it is all over"
Sweet, you've got me interested"
said Mr.. Crosby. what IL this thing
that you say is so funny?"
well, It says here that Admiral
Dewey is broken in health, and so it is
proposed that he return to the United
States and rest up"
"Yes?" said Crosby, after a short
pause. Il read that. What about il ?"
That's all there is about it, replied
Sweet, glazing at his paper.
Mr.. Crosby, Miss Baxter and Miss
Dixon looked at one another in silent
Wonderment.
'Well, that--that isn't the joke, is
it?" asked Miss Baxter.
Mr.. Sweet trembled with wrath as he
rearranged the paper in front of him.
Il take it that you do not find any
thing remarkable in the proposition
that Admiral Dewey return to the
United States for rest and quiet" he
said.
why, no. If he's been working too
hard l think they ought to send him
home. I'm sure he's entitled to a vaca-
ton if anyone is
I'VE are not talking about vacations.
/ merely called your attention to the
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20

away from the
mob a big man
with a badge gets
in front of him
and says: Ad-
miral Dewey, hero
of heroes, brave
defender of our
g | o rious flag,
hose name will
be written high on
the scroll of fame
Nelson, \ o p o.
leon, Grant. Far
ragut, and then
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20

Mr.. Crosby and la TEE
dies, | will go into details. Let us sup
pose that steamer is entering the
Golden Gate of the harbor at San Fran
cisco. On the deck stands Admiral
george Dewey, He is on his way home
Ito rest up. BY his side are hundred
and fifty passengers asking him to
write his name and some appropriate
sentiment on 150 cards. Also, to give
each some small article as souvenir.
While he is attending to them all the
steam whistles on the Pacific slope be-
gin to blow. There are something less
than million people on the deck, all
yelling at the top of their voices:
'What'smatterth Dewey? Heezallri.!
Who-o-o? Old George Dewey!!' Then
a brass band of 2i0 pieces begins to play
4 Hot Time in the Old Town. and lot
of women and children fall into the
water and police ambulance arrives.
By this time, of course, the admiral will
begin to see that people are glad that
he's come home to rest up.
just as he pushes down the gang
plank TO make a run for a cab and get
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20

statement that Ad-
IN j ii ID e W c Y
ought t o c o m e
back to the United
States and get a
good rest"
There was an
other silence. and
then Mr.. Crosby
said, hesitatingly:
NV e understand
that, but - where
does the joke come
in >"
Mr.. Sweet shook
like a leaf.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20

Hereditary Characteristic.-Cr imsonbeak
-"Owen Moore's son was in to see me to.
day" Yeast-"Indeed Doesn't he remind
you of his father?" Very much. He want
ed to borrow $5."-Yonkers Statesman.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20

BowldAr-'T tell you what, Meeldy, yon
don't know how to manage your wife"
Meekly-"Yes, do, too" Bowldcr-" Then
why don't you do it, if You know how?'
Me.kly (gloomily - Because she won't let
me. Town Topics.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20

know that you
cared for jokes. If
you think this one
is funny it must be
perfectly killing
Il don't care for
a joke unless it is
a masterpiece"
said Mr.. Sweet.
Il like a joke that
has enormous sig
nifcance-a joke
that will keep you
Z n N L i n u for n
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20
ELIZA r. PARKER.

When a man builds large and costly
house, he should plan it with view to
its fitness for boarding house, Tor that IS
what every large house ultimately comes
to.-Atchison Globe.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20

Ostrich Tips.-"Ah" chuckled the wait
er, when he reached home, Il struck luck
to-day. a rich old fellow gave me a So tip"
GLOW nice!" remarked his wife, "a S. tip
will just make my old hat look like new. -
Philadelphia Record.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20

Doctor What your husband needs,
madam. is rest. He ought to go to the noun.
tains for a month or two" Wife-"But he
won't do it, Doctor" Doctor-"H IN, then
suppose you 60"
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20

everybody yells, in behalf Of the cham
Der OF commerce, the board of asso-
ciated charities, the wholesale liquor
dealers, -he Fruit Growers league. the
Young Mems Christian association and
the city council, | welcome you to the
grand, the glorious, the majestic, the
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20
They Were Loud Enough.

Wheeer-Bevelgear never has a bell on
his bicycle
Scorcher-He doesn't need it. Just look
at his stockings-N. Y. journal.
The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1899-04-20
In Ring ParlaEce.

Miss Fox-Papa, why does a young man
give his fiancee a diamond ring:
Mr.. Fox-Oh, that's the forfeit ne puts
I'D to insure fght.-Jewelers' Weekly.