davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21
Afchison Globe Scnia.

The druggist and the doctor are cousins.
 People are tired of seeilg smart ehil- dren do smart things.
 Some people act all the time as though they were at picnic. Every man who starves his wife is said by the neighbors to be rich.
 The woman who never marries never finds out what poor cook she is.
 A good many cooks make a good quality of hard tack and don't know it.
 It Is never safe to accept an amateur singers verdict of an opera company.
 4 woman's idea of getting real reck- less is to cut loose, and tell all she knows.
 Cirosis of the liver is hard to spell; think how much harder 1t must be to have it.
 Atchison has a man who refuses to go to places because his. wife won't go with him. .<
 Every girl who has never known grief In her life tries particularly hard to look pensive.
 A woman never becomes so rich that she can resist the temptation to wear calico shirt waists.
 After woman passes 35. if she mar ries at all, the chances are that she will marry a man younger than herself.
 As rule, those who talk most about longing for higher life do least to inn prove the life they are compelled to live.
 You can occasionally meet all kinds of people; even the man who means it when he asks you. to come and visit him.
 About half the time a man feels like cat which has just eaten the canary; he is getting a lot of abuse for eating B mighty poor bird.
 The man whose hair has come out can make himself very interesting to any woman by announcing that 1t came out through fever.
 
 There isn't any one so good that it doesn't make him mad to go home to dinner, and find some one sitting in his chair at the table.
 Whenever we see man having a good time," we are glad that we have quit. There is nothing so dismal as having good time"
 It should be as much the duty of the "committee of safety" to get loafers out of town as 1t should be to bring de sirable men to town.
 Whenever you see a girl with her hair neatly braided In two braids you can make a pretty good guess that her mother Is neat housekeeper.
 A man went into a store to-day, and said: T want enough rope to rope my bed" Are you old-fashioned enough to remember bed that was roped?
 Young people are apt to stuff their pocket books with parer, to appear rich. Older people, however, have found 1t wise to appear poorer than they are.
 It Is we'll to remember that If your friends think you are a charming con- versationalist, your enemies regard you as a great gossip, and that they may be right.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21

The Orleans family in France has al- ways been famous for Its small econ omies. King Louis Philippe was sneer- ed at in his time as man 'who counted his pennies" His descendants also have the reputation of being penurious In the use of their ample wealth. The head of the house is the Due d'Orleans, who would be king if the monarchy were restored. His recent manifesto respecting the Dreyfus affair confirms the popular view of the family failing. Instead of sending it to the headQuar- ters of his party in Paris by messen- ger empowered to have ii printed as a poster and placarded where every one could see It, he put it in Fn ordinary en- velope and posted it by mail at the ex- pense of five cents without warning his agents by telegraph of his intentions. In consequence of his bad management the manifesto was only placarded in a few places, and was laughed at wher- ever 1t was read. He was ridiculed by the boulevard wits as a Pretender, who could not afford to spend more than a five-cent stamp even when a throne was in sight. There was the same kind of wit in Louis Philippe's time. The blind beggar, into whose hat the smallest French coin was thrown by bystand- CT, exclaimed: That must have been an Orleans prince% All Paris was stir red with merriment when the story was told in print.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21
eABYs EDIsoN's CRADLE.
EdisOn's Assistants Presented Him
 with This Automatic Tender.

Edison's Assistants Presented Him
 with This Automatic Tender.
 When Thomas A. Edison's second daughter was born his technical assist ants in the laboratory at Orange pre- sented him with plans for a cradle in- tended to save Mrs. Edison much of the worry and trouble usually experienced by mothers. Several other ideas were submitted to the committee, but the thought of the wizard ambling up and down the room in the dead of night, oc- caslonally stepping on g semi-submerg- ed tack, was too much for them, so the cradle was decided on. It was called the automatic electric baby tender"
 It was an ordinary cradle with ingeni- ous devices for the child'S comfort at tached. Immediately above the spot where the baby'S head would lie was a diaphragm, somewhat like telephone receiver. If the infant should start cry ing at the very first vail cOmmunica- ton was established between the dia- phragm and an electric clock. At the same time the cradle was set rocking by means of a small motor. If the re- monstrance continued beyond certain time the clock released lever and an arm attached to the side of the cradle (operated by what is called bell crank lever), carrying a nursing bottle. was swung over the baby's mouth. If hun ger was not the trouble and the walls continued another arm on the opposite side swung over the child's mouth with paregoric. At the same time the cleo tric current was turned into a set of
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21

Prof. H. w. Wiley, chief chemist of
 the Department of Agriculture at
 Washington, has been in Rockford, Ill.,,
 by direction of the department, to in-
 vestigate and report upon new pro-
 cess of manufacturing paper from the
 shive or outside of the cOrnStalk. It is one of the most interesting discoveries
 of recent years and bids fair to result in the establishment of an important
 new industry. Like many other valua-
 ble discoveries it is a sort of side result
 or sequence of other discoveries pre- ceding it. The cOrncOb has, for some years, been utilized for pipe purposes.
 and recently the pith of the cornstalk has been converted into cellulOSe.
 which has become an important com ponent in the manufacture of modern battleships. This still left the smooth and shiny outside of the cOrnstalk un- utilized. and this it is which is HOW converted into paper. The rapid ac emulation of corn shives, or the outer covering of stalks, deprived of their pith for the manufacture of cellulOse, led to experiments with the refuse, re- sulting in the discovery that it could be converted into a fine quality of pa per and superior cardboard. The pat entees of the new process claim that it will make the shive the most valuable part of the stalk from commercial and they also claim that they will be able to control the discOv- cry. "Of course the secret is Ours," says the superintendent of the Rock ford company, land while it Is not such a secret after all, all 1 have to say is that no company in the world can man. ufacture paper from the cOrnstalks un- less they manufacture cellulose from the pith, and when they do this they infringe on our patents, and, cOnse- quently, we are perfectly safe in say ing that nobody else will ever make pa per from shives." It remains to be seen what the ultimate effect on land will be of converting wheat straw into boards and cornstalks into cellulOse and paper, thus depriving the soil of natures great fertilizer.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21

"I'm bolder man than you, sir," said ln English labOrer to his master, not long ago. 'I durst spend my last far den, and you dursen't" The laborer never looked forward at all On the contrary, thriftiness is often taught the classes by the masses. A little German girl who sells violets in the streets of a Western city was questioned the other day -oy her teacher, who learned that
 he sold about twenty five-cent punches each school-day, with more on Satur- days and holidays, and that she raised the violets herself. You must be great help to your father,' was the comment. "Oh," was the quick reply,
 I do not need to do it. Father earns enough for us all, but I am doing this
 go to college. I have three hundred dollars in the bank already" The teacher, a Harvard graduate, realizing
 hat the child could draw a larger check than himself, went away thoughtful.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21
A lite Funeral.

All night long the ceaseless, mufded beating of the medicine tomtom had come to us across .The hot, barren, alkali flats; all night long the dismal wailing of the bereaved squaws and the lonesome howl of the masterless dog, crying like lost spirits. had come to us out of the darkness, plaintive and weird 1; all night long we had rolled and tossed on our blankets, spread upon the broad breast of mother earth, underneath the silent, watchful stars, and now, as the first pink blush of breaking morn be- gan to revolve out of infnity into a newborn day, we rose, unrefreshed and weary.
 A blood red sun thrust his -scorohing rays across the rugged peaks of the Book plateau. All nature seemed af1ame, and as our tired, aching eyes sought what rest there could be found in the aingy green of the few scrub cedars that marked the single variation to the otherwise unbroken glare of whiteness 8 strange, sad procession emerged from them and wended it's way toward us. AS it approached we could see the cor tege plainly. There were the patient, sad eyed women, their faces blackened by charcoal, their hair disheveled, their garments rent And covered with ashes. There were the favorite dog and horse of the dead warrior, the latter fully equipped, as though ready for 1eur- ney, and so he was. There was the corpse itself, borne, all bedecked and enshrouded, to its last earthly resting place.-Lippincott's.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21
COrean GeOmancers-

The influence of the geOmancers ex- tends from the King to his humblest subjects, and illustrates the cunning and simplicity which are combined in the Corean character. These profes- sional oracles are consulted on all occa- sions by all sorts of people. The King never thinks of doing anything without first asking their opinion. They are more important to him than legal ad- visers are to railways and other corpor- ations that employ them, and they are attached to all the departments of the government. At the same time they are notoriously corrupt, and their advice Is always influenced by the payment of money.
 If any one desires to obtain a favor from the King he usually endeavors to secure the good offices of the geomancer who Is likely to be consulted, and the amount of the bribe corresponds to the importance of the matter. While the geomancer pretends to consult the spir- its and observe the movements of the stars, his client knows that 1t is the money that governs his action. Never theless, when the client Is required to perform some official act, he consults the same old humbug, who has been bribed by some one else to influence his decision, and he Is perfectly aware of the fact-Chautauquan.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21

A native writing to the St. Louis Globe-Democrat on the needs of the isl and presents some startling facts as to the results of Spanish rule in Cuba. Cuba has been paying Spain $55,000,000 annually, and of this enormous sum not penny has gone to the support of primary schools and but very little to educational work of any kind. Accord ing to the provisions of the law there should be 1870 primary schools in Cuba, and it has but 449, and these mis- erably equipped. Of more than 100000 children of school age only 3.6S2 at tended school the year preceding the outbreak of the recent three years war. BaracOa, with 1865 children, for fnstuure,- had -but- two- public schools, with capacity for 136 pupils, at to- tai cost of $1S0 year. It is estimated, also, that 9 per cent. of the Cuban peO- pie, black and white, can read. Only from ' to 10 per cent. of the negroes can read. The Cuban negroes, how ever. have organized a simple system of their own, and though very rudimen- tary it has been the means of melting them to improve their limited educa- tional opportunities. A still further in- citement to ambition on the part of the negro population is that in Cuba there is not the prejudice on account of color that prevails in the United States There is a freedom of social intercourse which leaves the way open for prefer ment If the negro can but acquire an education and possesses ability. What Cuba needs most just now is American educators of ability and experience and schools and universities such as this country enjoys. Above all it needs the American common school system and some institutions and schools such as those of Hampton and Tuskegee.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21

NJ. Berlier, the famous French en- gineer. is now trying to interest Eng fish capitalists ia an aH-rail route by which 1t will be possible to go from London to Bombay in six days and ten hours. NJ. Berlier frankly admits at the outset that the part of his scheme which calls for the tunneling of the channel Is a difficulty which, for pOliti- cal reasons, seems insurmOuntable. Once at Calais, however, the traveller can proceed by existing roads to Va queros, on the Spanish coast. from which point to Algeria NJ. Berlier pro- poses to tunnel the Mediterranean, Chinese cheap labor and new scheme of removing the debris being the chief factors upon which be relies to accom- plish this mighty undertaking. From Algiers he proposes building line 270 miles in length connecting at Tlemeen with the Algerian railway. Thence to Cairo by way of Constantinople and Tunisaand across the SueZ Canal by tube:and so.too the Persian Gulf. From there to Bombay, he says, is plain raif ing"-in fact, the whole scheme is de- lightfully easy and practicable (to NJ. Berlier) and will cost only trifle of $45O, 100000, which, as he says, is "cheap at the price,"
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21
wbre Does Papa Come In?

The Leipzig Tageblatt devotes col umn to the marriage market An ad- yertisement published lately was as fol- lows: "A son, elderly, solid and seri- ous, is seeking for his father Ia strict and solid man in quiet business) an alone-standing widow and maiden with some ready money. Offers, with full statement of particulars, to be address ed -. The son can be interviewed by appointment between the hours of 9 and IT."
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21

Street sweepings to the estimated amount of three million tons are col lected every year in the cities of the United States. Most of this material is either used for filling" or thrown away; but the Department of Agricul- ture learns that in some places farm CTS secure the sweepings for fertilizing purposes, and that the farmers in such cases, with few exceptions, report ex- cellent results. Since the disposition of such refuse is sometimes serious problem, the fact seems to be worth consideration on the part of town and country alike. One of our worst faults, as a people, Is a persistent disregard of the truth that to prevent waste in all such ways Is to increase wealth.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21
Telling Him the Truth.

"I think Willie is learning to smoke, " said his mother .I wish you to speak to him about it.
 What shall say to him?" asked his father
 Why, tell him the truth. of course "
 And so Willie was duly called up, and his father put on a severe look and said:
 Willie, I understand you are learn ing to smoke. Now, before it goes any further, want to tell you what the re- suit may be. You may die in year, and then again you may live to be 100 years old"
 Why. John, expostulated the boys mother.
 "You told me to tell him the truth, " returned the father, land there's hard ly week goes by that don't hear of some one close to the century mark who has smoked ever since be was 14 years old, while people who never smoked at all die in infancy with great frequency.
 It is sometimes difficult to get a man who smokes to look at the subject from the right point of view.-Chicago Post.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21

When we smile at the excessive con- servatism of the English in refusing to adopt a decimal system of money, and sticking to their inconvenient reckon ing In pounds, shillings and pence, are we sure that we are not throwing stones through our own glass house? How many ounces are there in a pound? Twelve of one kind in one sort of pound, sixteen of another kind in another sort. Three feet to yard; five and a half yards to a rod. Thirty-twO quarts in busheL An acre cannot be made into a perfect square, but is piece of ground ten by sixteen rods, making forty-three thousand, five hun- dred and sixty square feet. A cubic yard contains nine cubic feet. These H. lustrations show what a waste of time and energy there is in converting our own weights and measures from one unit to another. It is all needless waste, as we know from the ease with which we deal with our money unit. Our readers will perhaps be tired of be- ing told that In all the civilized world, England, Russia and the United States are the only countries which do not use the metric system for all purposes. If we are asked why we do not use 1t we cannot reply that our method is better. We can give no better excuse than that we are too conservative, that the change is ''tOo much bcther," that we are too lazy to conform to a system which is as far superior to that we em- plOy as the dollars and cents of our money are more convenient than the British pounds, shilllngs and pence. It would not be a bad idea for the young people of the land to organize them selves into a metric league, to urge on the change which must come sooner or later. Perhaps the present generation of statesmen Is too 'Old-fogyish" to bring about the reform. Let the school boys and schoolgirls familiarize them selves with the metric system, employ 1t in their games, and make their opln- ion, of 1t known by monster petitions to the powers that be.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21

The same conditions which encOur- aged the perfectment of ingenious agri- cultural and mechanical contrivances in this country are daily becoming more evident in Russia. The opening up of almost limitless farming territory, the growth of an incipient fever for manufacturing, the railroad and ship ping projects fostered and urged by the young Czar are some of the causes which make Russia an attractive field for American inventive genius.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21

The civil war came to an end in April, 1865, but the national debt in creased more than two hundred million dollars before the end of August, when it reached its highest point, in spite of the most extensive and all-embracing tax system the world has ever known. The war with Spain has been much less costly, but 1t is a conservative estimate that less than one-half the total ex- pense was incurred before the terms of peace were offered to Spain. If that be so, the war cost, directly, two hundred millions. Indirectly, the larger army needed to occupy new possessions will cause a large permanent charge on the revenue, and we may assume that the war taxes have come to stay.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21

magnets placed around the cradle, and any pin which might be causing the trouble would be at once removed. If the yells continued the "thirty-third de gree" was applied. Two arms, lying flat in the cradle under the baby, were slowly raised and the child turned over. Then an electric spanker fastened to the footboard proceeded to do it's work with neatness and dispatch.
 However, MT. Edison persists in re- garding the haby's cradle as a joke.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21

That man Anthony who, when blown up on the Maine, saluted Captain Sigs- bee and said, Sir, have to report that the ship has been blown up and is sink ing" evidently Is totally devoid of fear in the face of peril. He was married the other day.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21
English cannon balls first opened the

English cannon balls first opened the way for the spread of modern civiliza- ton and Christian influence in China. The same kind of missionary agency may be effective in blazing a path for the advancement of education and gen. eral enlightenment in Cuba, the Philip
 pines, the Caroline Islands and other regions long kept in darkness and semi savagery by the retroactive and repres- siVe policy of Spain. In no region where Spanish power and influence
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21

The fact that Dewey has given away his rabbit foot may be considered sign of continuous peace. With another war in prospect the hero of Manila would not have parted with his talis- man
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21

When Robert Louis Stevenson was p years old he wrote: And as I am glad to say that I do now recognize that I shall be great man. I may set myself peacefully on smaller journey, not without hope of coming to the inn before nightfall'
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21

Boston has announced its indorse- ment of the Czar's disarmament scheme. Boston doesn't propose to have its summers disturbed with any more phantom fleets.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21

The Austrian authorities would not allow Mark Twain's remarks at the Vienna peace conference to be publish ed. Those suspicious foreigners evi- dently are afraid that American humOr ge loadod
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21

A comic story has already appeared, based on the late capture of the La drOne islands by the commander of the Charleston. The incident is certainly funny enough to be staged
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21

It seems that several eminent physi- clans have come to the conclusion that fatigue is a disease. That is well. Now if they will discover the bacillus of fa .tigue and then perfect system of inoc- ulation against it-what gay old world 1t will be.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21

Manila is said to much resemble a flourishing Western town. The air is full of $5 gold pieces, and everything is looking up. If one wants to secure a cab he has to hire it at daybreak. And the Yankee has come to stay, too.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21

The stage is having an important in- fiuence upon our national fife. A New York woman has just secured divorce after testifying in court that she took her husband to see a play which was so bad 1t drove him to drink, and he went out between the acts and never came back again.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21
EASY FOR MORPHY.
A Story of the Great Chess Master
 and a Celebrated Painting.

On reading the notes on Paul Nor phy's visit to Philadelphia l am re- minded of an incident in connection with his visit to Richmond about the same time, which was related to me some years ago by the Rev. Mir. H. os that city. do not remember ever to have seen it in print. MT. Morphy was MT. H. s guest while in the city, and on his arrival was first ushered into the library, and his attention was at once attracted by painting over the man. tel, which was fine copy of a cele- brated painting representing a game of chess between a young man and the devil, the stake being the young mans soul.
 The artist had most graphically de- picted the point in the game where it was apparently the young mans move, and he seemed just to realize the fact that he had lost the game. the agony of despair being shown in every line of his features and attitude, while the devil from the opposite side of the table gloat- ed over him with fiendish delight. The position of the game appeared utterly hopeless for the young man, and Mir. H. said he had often set it up and studied it with his chess friends, and all agreed the young mans game was certainly lost.
 Mir. Morphy walked up to the picture and studied it for several minutes, when finally, turning to Mir. H.. he said:
 ''I can win the game for the young man."
 Mir. H. was of course asto1ished and said, ''Is it possible?"
 MT. Morphy replied. "Get out the men and board and let us look at it.
 The position was set up, and in few rapid moves he demonstrated complete win for the young man, and the devil was checkmated. Munford in American Chess Magazine.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-01-21

American game may be getting less In some sections, but that it's keeping up ip other directions is shown by the announcement that 7,O0O,OO0 packs of cards are sold yearly.