Bismarck weekly tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1943, 1899-06-16
MANDY'S QUICK WIT.
UNCLE JOHNS MODEL WIFE WAS
EQUAL TO THE OCCASION.
An Exciting Rnce That Was Grandlv
Won When 1t Seemed surely Lost
Just Because This Clever Woman
"seen Her Duty, and She Done It,"

"My wife," remarked Uncle John AL
gus with m air of pride and proprietor.
ship, somewhat moro prevalent among
soung husbands in their Homogeneous than
among old ones who have been married
Tor 30 years or more, us Uncle John was
my wife Is one NV them women the Lord
only makes q few NV, and them mighty
scatterin. She's jist CT good natured and
happy now as She wuz when I courtcd
her, but Mandy amt nil mush and spoon
victuals, and there's times when she has
to be handled with keer CIR somcthin will
be spilled. She's got temper a-plenty, and
sho amt Altered NV the old serpent him.
self. 1 mind II thing shc done once that
I'll never fergit Of I live to be older than
the parsons wife's bonnet.
"1n them days Mandy weighed q hum
derd and eiGhty-scven pounds in her
stockin feet, and I wuz only a scant hun
derd and forty. We had on the farm all
the time seven er eight head NV fine
horses, and n winter we had q pair NV
4-ycar-olds that we prided ourselves per-
tickcler on, fer they had been takin pre-
miums ut the fair every year since they
wuz yearlin's. They had speed, too, and
we thought they couldn't be beat by
anything in that neck NV woods, but a
neighbor NV ours named Hall-evcrybody
knowed Jim Hall, jist like they knowed
me-had n pair he had bought in the next
county That he offered to bet a COW and
calf could beat ours hands down. He
used to let 'cm out past our place to kind
Nv tantalize us, and l tell you they wuzn't
a funeral perccssion by a long ways, but
Mandy used to laugh and say we'd show
him E0Vnofhinp xryhov, fhn univ, uok xv0ol
You see, 1t was along in November
then, and the roads hadn't froze yet. The
first snow como in December with a
mighty cold spell followin and hangin on,
M In about q week er ten days we had
fine slcighin, and one afternoon Mandy
said she guessed We ought to hitch up the
bays and go out for some air and exercise.
That was enough fer ne, and I had the
team to the cutter and out at the gate
waitin fer the lady in less than no time.
1.-The team wuz feclin as frisky as kit
tens, and the way they slung the snow
and spun over the road would stir the
blood In a wooden man. When we got to
the turnpike, where the folks usually let
their teams out, I guess there wuz a dozen
or more movin up and down at n clippin
gait, and We sailed right in among 'em,
and in about seven minutes we passed ev-
erything on the road.
"Jim Hall wuzn't out with his team,
and l could see that Mandy wuz gittin
anxious, though she wuzn't sayin much.
The road leadin to Jim's place struck the
pike about 200 yards from the upper turn,
md there wuz no sign Nv him as we pass
ed, and we didn't sec him as VIC come back,
but just after we got by his road VIC heerd
a clatter up the pike, and, by crackcy,
there wuz Jim a-comin lickety spit. I
guess he'd been to the postoffice, and the
way he wuz comm after us wuz like a
mink after chickens. Mandy took one
look over her shoulder and told me to let
'em go for all they wuz with. I didn't
need to be coaxed, and by the time sho
had said the words we wuz fairly fyin
over the smooth SLOW track, and Jim wuz
comm right behind us too. Fer the first
few rods W. gained on him, then he begun
to creep up on us in spite Nv all we could
do. Everybody on the road knowed how
me and Jim set store by our teams, and
they pulled out to one side and give US all
the room there wuz.
II shook up my beauties as I felt him
DRAWN up on me, but shakin wuzn't
enough, and I touched 'em onco or twice
with the whip, but Jim jist rared back on
his strings, lookin like destruction slnilin
at desolation, and kept a-comin. When
his horses heads passed our dashboard
and I could see the snort in their noses, I
got kind Nv sick and thought I'd have to
let 60, but Mandy nerved me up, and I
hung on and leaned away forrerd as if
that would help some. BY this time Jim's
horses had their heads even with mine,
ard 1 held him there fer a minute er such
a matter, but jist as I begun to have u
hope that it might be a neck and neck at
tho finish Mandy reached fer the limo next
to her, and, with a sudden jerk, she pull
ed tho team off to one side NV the road,
where the snow wuz in a high drift, and
Jim went ahead with a yell that made my
ears stand out like windmill fappers.
II wuz that dazed fer q minute at
Mandy that I couldn't do a lick, and,
deacon though I wuz, I'm afeerd I'd