Middletown transcript., 1899-08-26


"wives" said they would only smoke
little, as / dislike tobacco. That wa
really thoughtful, and felt gratefu
. 1 heartily wished that l could max
t some pleasant conversational retur
D for their forbearaLce.
Afterward Bessie comforted me b
3 saying that the guests were not bored
we're even then enjoying themselves
But at the time l felt that my ow
sufferings were measure of theirs.
After silence came another ques
tion: Gas you are learned lady, Cal
you tell us why the rain rarely (if ever
goes up toward the sky, whereas thi
snow went up and down the olhe
day?"
l threw myself with enthusiasm into
the task of answering. But the result
was no happier. They discussed my
reply in Turkish in perfunctory man
ner, moving their hands around and
around, as some people use their hands
inside muff, and in o way certainly
that could not have any reference to
rain or snow. Perhaps they were say
ing my explanations we're involved.
Probably that was true enough OF
them, as translated by the pretty un-
comprehending Circassian. However,
I shall never know.
How 1 longed that Bessie might walk
in and create diversionl
The clock chimed 6. These people
had remained three hours. Would
they never goP
"As you are a learned lady," came
the now established preamble, scan
you tell US why good tooth some
times aches?"
began: "Sweetmeats"- but fear,
ing to drift into unhospitable discourse,
just as Bessie's maid was bringing
tray with tiny glass plates on each of
which was spoonful of roseleaf con-
serve, hastened to add: 81 have re-
membered something. 1t it quite new;
London toyl Bessie's little boys
grandmother sent it."
While the guests disposed of conserve
and sherbet ran off to find the me-
chanical tear who danced and beat
drum, winding him up as l returned
to the drawing room. 1 confess that
wound him up slowly. it was such re-
lief to be away from the companyl
I had no sooner set him upon the
floor than his dance began. The bride
uttered piercing shrek; the boy
squealsd like wild animal. the fat,
Emphatic second wife went into hys-
terics; the Circassian. also screamed,
jumping about, and the first wife jab-
bered in evident terror, clutching her
boy.
''She says it is the DEVIL" walled the
interpreter, shrilly, above the general
din.
At the moment the bear beat the
first sharp roll on the drum. The elder
woman, flinging some of her draperies
about her son, tumbled toward the
door, rushed through the anteroom and
came plump upon my Cousins butlerl
without the ysckmashl According TO
old Turkish usage, the encounter might |
have meant a loaded sack and des-
cent in the BOsporus for her.
The bride fed, clinging to the inter-
prefer, to the furthest corner of the |
drawing room, where they sobbed and |
shuddered together. The second wife,
now violently hysterical claimed my
first care. After l had calmed her
somewhat I caught up the bear-drum-
mer and put him out Of sight.
Then those In the drawing room |
took heart to moye into the anteroom,
where the first wife was already get
ting into her extinguisher.
Nothing I could say Through the
Circassian) could tranquillize them.
Their ponderous coach was waiting be-
low. In less time than I thought pos
sible the long train Of the BRIDES ball
dress, the cut velvets of the chief wife
and the shatby finery of the second were
rolled Tito big bundles on the plan
adopted by bathing women, who wade
and 'dip' the children on our shores
in summer, and then my guests wad-
died and relied rapidly out of the
house.
When the carriage had rumbled
sway fell in great agitation upon the
bear, apostrophizing him: "Oh, you
terrible little 6endl Oh, you dear,
dear darling defivererl"
hugged and kissed him.
"Alone alreadyl'' exclaimed Bessie
IN hour later. 81 hurried back from
the most charming garden party that
was on purpose to help you with your
Wallace-"For the life Of me, have
never been able to laugh at one of these
jokes yet"
Ferry-"If you had mother-in-law
worth $4,000. as mine is, you would laugh
1t every joke she made"
-@ 1
Lucy, I've half a mind to spank you!
Why is it you never want drink of water
until after have turned out the gas2'
u don't know, mama. Why is it you
.llus turn out the gas jus fore 1 want
rink of water?"