Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1899-11-17
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a nvlhg; Oleverton-"Well, YOUR w
the world to me."-Town Topics
Jackson-"Is the minister %
church going to take vacation 'SR
summer Wilson-"I homo
Ohio State Journal. :"
Arthur, our physician wants 70 -.
me to summer resort for four wsasas S'a
Husband-"Well, can't blamo h'
-Fliegende Blatter.
Father-"That young man you,,.
gagged to is a bad egg" Daupbt.,
That's the reason I'm afraid to d,,,
him."-Town Topics.
my doctor says l ought to lend
active life." well, say, marry N,
wife's sister; she'll keep you on n,
jump."-Chicago Record.
"Old Brown won't live long; he h,,
one leg in the CRATE" "You mean an,
leg In the grave" mo, he's going
be cremated."- ."-Pick-Me-Up.
what animal" asked Edith 4,l
ways has a comb, but never combs n
hairT "a bee," guessed Dav,
100000; rooster Judge
5 Prominent Society Woman ito DOM
lal lecturer)-'Don't you get tired d
saying the same thing over and Oys
again?" Eyes; don't youT-Life.
Agnostic-"But you yourself vOh
on Sunday" Clergyman-"No; preaci.
Ing isn't work. It's writing the SCI
mon that's work. ."-Detroit journal
Jones-"Are you going to pay me thai
account?" Smlth-"NOt Just VET
Jones-"If you don't, I'll tell all yOu
other creditors that you paid mer-
Stray Stories.
"She's going on the stage" "Dea
me-" "Yes-up in the White Mountain
district. You see, the railroad does
lot go quite to her destination "-Ch.
cago Evening Post.
Those dear girls again: First Fair
One-"T wouldn't be seen at the New
rich ball." Second Fair 0ne-"0b
you're not so insignificant as that
dear."-Brooklyn Life.
Mr.. Newlywed-"You want my rea
sons for getting home so late last
night?" Mrs. Newleywed-"0h, no.
That would be expecting too much !
want your excuse."-Puck.
Judge Ito a man up for having five
wives)-"How could you be so hard
ened villain" The PrlsOneT-
please, your honor, was only trying
to get a good one" ."-Tit-Bits.
Little Clarence-"Th funny-bOne Is
in the elbow, isn't it, pa?" Mr. Cal
lipers-"Yes, my son." Little Clr'
ence-"Well, pa, is that what makes
people laugh in their sleeves|-PucE
One thing lacking: Ethel-"HoV
harmonious the color Of everything ID
this church isp Margaret-"YeS, eI
ceptlng the sexton. Why doesn't u
wear stained glasses%-Harlem Lille
Mrs. Styles-"Td have you under
stand that l know a good many wOr''
men than my husband" Mrs, Myles-
my dear, you must be more paruCa
Ear about picking your acquaintance
Marriage is so often failure" SAX
Miss Caustique, that | don't Dlam
women a bit for being old MAIDS
"Blame them?" said the crusty oac1
elor. "Of course not 1t isn't 'nel
fault."-Kansas City Star.
Hetty-"What's the matter, Carrie
You don't seem to be pleased with you
bathing suit" Carrie-"No, | am hOI
Hetty-"Oh, 1 wouldn't fuss. IL W.
shrink, perhaps, after one or TWO We
tings. Boston Transcript.
Spacer-"I believe that If Shakspeal
were alive at the present time, ana " y
Ing to live by his pen in LONDON " "
comic papers would reject many ol "
best jokes" Humorist-"l know IL
have tried 'em all."-Tit-Bits.
"Why do you hate him soT "u'
we were young men we loved the Sau u.
girl" "Oh! Did he win her troin J,
by any unfair means" mo. de We :
away and left her no choice put ln''
New Orleans Times-Democrat'
Mrs. Lushley-"Oh, you neeuh
to conceal your condition; you're W.
ing the paper upside down.
Lushley-"I know't, m'dear-diu ~
purposh-someshing here no uesD'
man oughter read."-Brooklyn Ln''
Mather Clearing Ethel say her p'a
ers)-"And let us all live to a goou
age" Ethel-"I'n not pray -
aunty to live to a old oge." Mo'D @
(astounded)-"WhyT Ethel ' @
she's ashamed of her age now - w
why don't you get dinner
asked. "You didn't marry cook'
replied, simply. Time passes ~ =,