The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1899-02-04
WIT AND HUMoR.
Up.to-Dc.e Jokes and Witticisms From the
Comic Papers
CAUGHT.

him;
He thought he'd drawn blank,
Till he met and wooed her one day
As he cashed check at bank.
HIS NARROW ESCAPES.
s"There's man who has had many
q narrow escape from being shot
''Indeed! Was he one of the Rough
Riders who rushed up that hill at
Caney p
"No; he was an Adirondack guide
for nearly three weeks. :"
THE ACTIVE ONE.
Misc Strongminde-s'Mam how
did papa act when he proposed to
your"
Mrs. Strongminde-'He didn't act
at all. He just stood in the corner
and said yes. +"
Photographer showing proofs
The expression, as you see, is all that
could be desired.
Customer-Yes. I was smiling be-
cause you had forgotten to tell me to
look pleasant.
| CHILDLIKE LOGIC.
Mamma" said Dot. edo all the
rivers empty into the sea ?"
"Most of them, my dear"
Then why doesn't the sea run
over; is it because there are lots OF
sponges in it?"
PREPARING THE CASE.
First Lawyer. Each witness gives
different account of the accident.
Second Lawyer. if we put
them all on the stand, the jury may
think our client met with three or
four accidents.
A PERTINENT QUERY.
''To me-" said Willie Washington,
feverishly, "you represent all that is
most sublime. I believe that destiny
intended us for each other. %
sAre you alluding," inquired Miss
Cayenne. Jelly, ''to the affinity popu-
larly supposed to exist between the
sublime and the ridiculous 2"
SHE SAW TOO MUCH.
She latter marriage)-"You told me
that was your first love, but I have
found whole trunk-full of letters
from all sorts of girls, just bursting
with tenderness.
, He'll said you were the first
I ever loved. I didn't say you were
the only one who ever loved me.
, See ?"
"Marie, I don't want you to tie any
more strings on my finger.
"Why, John p
81 wasted two whole hours this
morning wondering what it was you
wanted me to remember"
, FAVORED CLASS.
r Irate Passenger (who has managed
to board a trolley car that didn't stop
Suppose I had slipped and lost q
leg-what then?
Conductor-You wouldn't have to
DO any more running then. We alters
Il tops for q man with crutch.
COMMON COMPLAINT.
He-Yes, she is living under an as.
sumed name.
!. She-Horrible | What is it !?
He-The one she assumed immedi
u ately after her husband married her
i THE REASON.
t. Amateur Scientist-"Can you ex
G plain to me the reason why so many
T. people become insane ?"
t Guyer-"The answer ought to sug
# gest itself. They have no reason"
: PUNISHMENT.
: "The idea of sending children tt
u bed early to punish EN- !" exclaimed
: Mrs. Corntossel, who was discussing
q her city relatives. That amt any
y way to erect 'em. /"
l. .tOf course it amt" answered hel
e husband. eff you want to convinc'
IS 'em that you mean business, MAKE
e 'em get up an hour or SO earlier il
the morning"
c. INTERESTING SUBJECTS.
d sThose two fellows over in tn,
E corner seem to have very interest," ne
n subject. They've been talking a
" each other as hard as possible for al
~ hour and half.
q. Eyes; one of them has little boz
u who has just learned to walk, and tn
D. others baby cut its first tooth day be
u fore yesterday"
n SAFE SPECULATION.
" Hicks-"You know Stakem, tn
7e cashier of the Fleeing Bank Well
Mt he made 100000 in a corn-broor
4 deal in less than six weeks That
C. what man gets by having courage.
" Wicks-"Tt's all very well, seein
an that he was successful; but suppos
20. there had been a sudden drop in tn
N market and wiped out Stalk ems mai
gins p
Hicks-"He wouldn't have lost any
thing. He used the banks money
lis his speculations.
"a,
r. AN ACHIEVEMENT.
he "Did you try that composition {
an mine % asked the young man VIII
* composes alleged classical music