Arizona republican., 1899-10-28

]
man jumped further thin another la-ad
me frind, tn Ice-box. says he: 'H'yah,
h'yah. So win an American la-ad lept
up in tn air as though he'd been
caught be tn anchor Of a balloon, 1
says: 'H'yah. hyah, too. Whin
sign " TIL effete artistocracy iv Eng
land done up sivral free-bor-rn Amer
leans firm Boston in a fut r-race me
frind the Farthest North, he grabs his
wan glass eye an says he Well run
Cambridge he says; well r-run.' he
says An well r-run, what1ver col
ledge ye're firm says 7, whin wan iV
our la-ads jumped over a fence ahead
Nv some eager but conservative English
scoiars.
well like a good game. ii come
three an three Three times had vic
thry perched upon our banner an
thrice-I see it in TIL pa-aper-had tn
flag iv TIL mother country proclaimed
that Fnglishmen can r-run- 1t was
thryin' TO me nerves an I wanted to
yell wIlin tn lie was r-run off. but tn
man firm Massachusetts says: Con
tain ye'ersilf' he says. Don't allow
ye'er frenzied American spirit to get
away with ye'er manners he says
Observe he says. tn ca m with which
our brother Angio-Saxon views tn
scene he says All ne says, they're
off, an be the jumpin' George Wash
nton. I bet We that fellow firm West
Newtonl1 make that red headed, long
legged. bread b7llasted Englishman
look like 80 cints. Hurroo.' he says.
Go on, Harvard he says. Go on he
says 'Rah. rah, rals he says. Ate
him up. chew him up Me says. 'Har-
Il I,a
Il looked ar-round at TIL m, dis
passyonate Engiishman. He dropped
his eyeglass so he cud see tn race an
he had his cane in tn air. Well.
run he says. Well. r-run, Cam
bridge he says. Pull him down he
says Run over him. he says. 'Thrip
him up he says. They can't r-run,'
he says, except whin they're Philip
pinos behind tt1im, he says. Well,
r-run. he says. well r-run.' he says,
an he welted tn man firm Matssa-
choosetts with his cane. BE careful
what ye're dom there. says tn Anglo
Saxon. If it wasn't FIR tn 'Hance I'd
punch ye'er head Off he says. An
says tn ca m Englishman, If it WASH
FIR our common hurtage, he says, I'd
make We jump over tn gran stand he
says TIL English always cud beat US
r-runnin'' says tn sage iv Matsachoo-
sets. TIL Americans start first an
finishes last says tn Englishnan. An
had to pull thin apart.
Whether it is that our American
coIIeajeens spinds too much " their
lung power in provin' their devotion to
what Hogan calls their almy mat
theirs or not. I dinnaw. but anyhow,
we had to dhrag tn representative iv
our branch iv tn Anglo Saxon an
Boheemyan civilization in tn three
mile race firm undher two thousand ~
our cousins or brothers-in-law that
was ca 'mly an soberly, but hurriedly
an noisily chargin' acrost tn thrack
TO cheer their own man.
Me frind firm Massachusetts was
blue as we Winded our way to tn
sthrangulation railway an started
back fr home. I'm sorry.' he says, to
lose me temper he says, but, he
says. .afther all tn pretinded affection
iv these people fr us he says, an at
Their all we've done f'r thin in ALASKA
an'-an' Everywhere, he says, "a.
thin sellin' US coal whin they might've
sold it to tn Spanyards if tn Span
yards'd had tn money he says, to
see tn conduct X that course an bru- |
tai Englishman- TIL wan that won |
tn r-race?' says [. Yes, he says. Ne,
l mean tn wan that TANNED me with !
his cane, he says. If it hadn't been, !
he says. that w're united he says. be /
Il common pathrimony.' he says, I q We |
had his life he says. If all the la-ads I
enthered into tn r-race with tn same
spirit ye show now I says, til Eng |
fish fag'd be dhroopin' firm tn staff, |
an Cyrus BOdley ~ Wadham, Mass, 1.
d be paintin' tn stars an sthripes on |
III Nelson monnymint an maxim II /
look like a BARRIERS pole 1 says. 'Whln /
we hated tn English 1 says, an a /
Yacht r-race was li'ble to end il q. war |
message firm tn prisidint. we used to /
pate Thin. says. Now says J, !
whin we're afraid to injure their feel
MS I says, an whin we 'pologise be
'ure we punch. they bate us, I says
They're used to 'pologisin with wan
land an punchin' with tn other
avs. TIL only way is tn way " me
cousin Mike / says. He was a gr-
eat rassler. an whin he had a full
Nelson on TIL foolish man that Wint
.gafn' him, he used to say: Dear me-
I'M 1 breakin' yeer neck, I hope so
But TIL Matsachoosetts man didn
ZEE it that way. An some time, tell
e. Hinnissy. an Englishman II put
h shot wan fut further than wan "
,ur men-th' Lord save us firm til
isgrace-an' TIL mex day We'll invade
1--WE ought to do it, anyhow said
Ir. Hennessy, stoutly.
We wud." said Mr.. Dooley, 'if we
we're sure we cud lave it afterwards
F. P Dunno in Chicago Journal