Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1899-11-03
GOLF IN a aUrEL ROOM.
Player Only Meant 40 Practice Swings
But He COuIdnsS Resist Hit
ting the Ball.


occasion may be entirely inopportune,
as when the preceding players are play
ing their second shots only a few rods
to the fore, or though the place may be
most unsuitable as when the swing is
being made for practice on the club
house piazza, the temptation to let
her go" after addressing the bali once
or twice becomes well-nigh irresist-
IDLE, and many an accident has fol-
lowed on the teeing up of ball. where
there is no original intention of hitting,
at the drive. The latest victim of this
kind of misplaced enthusiasm IS a rail
road man living in this city, whose mil
lions obviate the necessity of repining
over the damage done. but who is sons
what ruefu1 over the joke on himself.
His town house not being open on
his return to this city from a western
trip lately, Mr.. Kerr, as he may be
called, TO conceal his identity, took a
suite of rooms at the Wsldorf-Astoria.
Thither came 10 see him a young friend
who was shown up to his apartments.
Mr.. Kerr was fondling a new driver
when his caller arrived and almost the
first thing he asked, after shaking
hands, was:
Ever play golf?"
Don't know anything about the
game said the visitor, but 1 under
stand it's very interesting"
"Interesting!" cried the other. Its
fascinatingi It's absorbingi I've never
taken any interest in a game since /
played marbles until was persuaded
| to take some golf lessons while L was
in Chicago Now do a little prac-
Using every day"
''Where do you do it?" asked the Wis
itor.
Fright here in this room when 1
haven't time to get out of town. I've
been putting at that circle in the rug
this morning, with an occasional loft
shot onto the bed for approach practice.
| Like to try t?''
The visitor politely declined, and his
host continued:
This driver is one that I've had
made to order. 1t just came to-day. It's
beauty. Now, I'll just show you how
| q driver is used"
Taking a little rubber standard from
| the dresser he placed it on the floor,
set a golf ball upon it, and, standing
| back, proceeded to make passes above
| it with his driver.
"You swing back like this said Mr.
Kerr, twisting his body in serpentine
manner and whirling the fat-headed
club over his shoulder.
| Eyes, L see,'' said the visitor, deity
| lodging. Cant you do it little
| slower?'
| ''Oh, this is just to illustrate the
style" was the reply. "Then you bring
| it down, so, almost to the ball.
| Down came the club to within an inch
of the little white sphere.
That's addressing the ball. ex-
planned the golfer.
I'D rather see it done on a ten-acre
| lot" observed the caller.
| Then you come back again." contin-
ued the other, twisting himself little
further out of shape this time and ris-
ing on his toe like piroutting ballet
| girl, land make sure of where you're
| going to hit, always keeping your eye
on the ball and''-whidd! went the club,
carefully aimed over the ball, land play
above it, just to loosen up your mus
| cles," added the enthusiast, while the
caller shrank within himself.
But the third time," he continued,
and there came glitter in his eye and
a savage tightening of the muscles
around the mouth, 1.-The third time
Hold on!" cried the other, in great
alarm. You're not going to hit it!' 9
| 'Ain't ?" howled the golfist, now
quite beside himself with the passion of
play. "Ain't I? Watch MEL
| Whizz! went the big club, and whack!
it sounded on the ball and the next
second that little white sphere was spin
ming around the room like a marble in
a tin pan, while in the center the elder
| ~ Mr.. Kerr danced a wild dance of
| glee and shouted:
| Wasn't that corker! Didn't hit
| that a swat? I bet that would have
gone 200 yards easy"
AS he concluded the ball took a sud
den rise from some obstacle, few
| through the open bathroom door, and
| struck fair in the center of the wall
mirror, which promptly dispersed in
many fragments. Still was the ardor
| Of the enthusiast undampened.
did you see it, Louis? Did you see
| t?' he cried.
"Where did it go?'' asked a muffied
| soice.
''Where did you goo" demanded Mr..
| Kerr, looking around and seeing moth
ing of his visitor.
Has it stopped?" asked that gen
tleman, and a strained face protruded
from under the bed.
Eyes, it's stopped" returned Mr..
Kerr, beginning to cool down. Its in
the bathroom, 1 believe. In fact-er-I
l-er-rather think it broks something -
well, I'm going" said his friend,
hastily. Il don't like your game. Please
give me time to get out before you start
in TO play again"
Fact is" said Mr.. Kerr, in some en-
barrassment. 81 didn't intend to hit