Mesa free press. [volume] (Mesa, Ariz.) 1892-1901, 1899-12-15

judy.
You can't keep a secret, Marie y
Eyes, can, but always happen to tell
things to other girls who can't."-Chi.
cago Record.
Kill that mosquito. why don't your
81 would, you know. but hate to lay
violent hands on my own flesh and
blood. life.
Myer-Was Smyth's marriage fail
ure? Gyer-Failure isn't name for It,
Why, it proved to be a regular Della.
ware peach crop.
1.-THE Filipinos haven't any idea what
humane people we are" mo; they
are being taught. however. that appear,
ances are deceitful. Life.
Bill-Did you ever know IN amateur
yes; | heard one tell another that h"
was li:;f.-Yonkers Statesman.
Charlie Bingle is looking for a coat
of arms ANY success?" Yep. He's
found his great grandfather was .
tailor. Plain Des Ter.
Putt-What want TO know, sir, is i;
you referred to ME as n born liar? Teri
No, sir; | don't believe you learned t,
talk SO soon as that.-BroOkly Life.
Goodness. john How queer tn.
oaby looks. | believe he is going t
have Il fit "I:y George. | believe
you are right. Where is my cameraY
It'd Bits.
NeXdoorl haven't heard your dog
barking III night for some time. Homer
No. guess he poor fellow go, discour
aged. We have twins at our house
now. you know.
Mrs. Van swamp William. dear as
you have another chill coming on. vii,
you kindly hold the bahy's rattle in
your hand? 1t amuses tile sweet pre-.
cious so much Bazaar.
First Country Sport Where do you
put up when you go TO New York
Second Country Sport-Oh. I'm not a
bit particular; all pawnbrokcrs look
alike to me. -EXchaDge.
He-Do you know, darling. that
think il makes me a better man every
time kiss You She Well. ut the pace
you are going now there will soon be
no more room for Improvement.
NO sensible girl would elope with
the coachman to-day" why. no!
Coachmen are back numbers. She'd
fly with the man who runs the auto
mobile. > Philadelphia Bulletin.
Little Will:e-Say. pa. what's re-
dundancy OF expression! Pa Using
more words than are necessary TO eX
press ones meaning. such as wealthy
iceman,' wealthy plumber" exc.
Mr.. Slayer time, IL 30 p. m.)-Are
YOU interested in baseball. Miss De
Jones? Miss De Jones tsuppressing "A
yawn)-Yes. 10 Il certain extent. dear
~ love TO see man make home run
occa sionally.
\ strong recommendation: But. sir
what has your candidate ever done TO
deserve the support of the people? 2"
We'll, for one thing. this is the first
time he has ever run for office Chi
ycago Journal
Teacher-For what else was julius
Caesar noted? Tommy Tucker twho
had studied the lesson somewhat hast
iiy)-His great strength. ma am. He
threw a bridge across the Rhine.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
The Goldfish" said the professor.
lays considerably more than IL million
eggs 1T is exceedingly lucky for the
Goldfish that she doesn't have to cackle
over every egg" said the student who
Softleigh WEAKLY getting
to w-quite a poet. doncher know.
Miss Cutting-Indeed. Soflleigh-
Yaws: have a little book in which l.
aw-write down me thoughts in whyme
evahwy night before wetiring. Miss
Cutting-It will be Il volume Of blank
verse when Finished suppose.
81 hope y.u are one .of the people
who can keep cool in the presence OF
danger" 81 am" answered the man
who wanted place as Il private watch
man. Have you ever demonstrated
it?" 81 have; once came near being
drowned in skating pond. '-Wash.
ington Star.
What is the woDlan's offense?" She
threw brick at u neighbor woman,
your Honor, and hit a man standing
ibehind her." THE man is guilty Of con
tributory negligence. If he hadn't been
IAN idiot he would have stood in front OF
her. Case is dismissed cleveland
Plain Dealer.
"I'll bet a thousand" shouted the ex-
cited politician, that the editor had
no proofs Of those damaging stories lie
published against the boss" I'll go
you," retorted the little man with a
high forehead and two pairs of glass
es. "He had the proofs and went
through them. word for word. and
10. KID the revise" "Who in thunder
are your" "rm the proof-reader." -
Detroit Free Press.
Miss Neighbours was very sorry, in
deed, to learn OF your sad loss, Mr.