The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1899-07-10

try ana We never serve II 70 kreotSE ~
vantage than when we st out Of H.
But tmpromptu speaking. that u wnak
I was trying 10 learn That ID difficult
thing. / used to do Il In this way. used
to begin abou, a wreck ahead and write out
nv snpromptu speech and get 1t by heart
Then brought II 70 the New England din
ner printed on a piece OF paper IN my
pocket 30 / could pass IL 10 the reporters
all cut and dried. and In order 10 90 an
impromptu speech as II should be done you
have 70 INDICATE the places for pauses ana
hesstasions / put them all in 1t. Ana
then you want the applause IN the risnt
place.
when got to the place where It should
come in, If /. did not come IN did not
care. but I had Ii marked In the paper.
And these masters of mind used TO wonder
how il was my speeches came out IN the
morning in the first person. while theirs
went through the butchery OF synopsis
az do that kind OF q speech-I mean an
off-hand speech-and do 1t well and make
no mistake In such way as TO deceive the
audience completely and make that auoi-
ence believe it is an impromptu speech
that Is art.
writer Tells . story.
Twas frightened out OF it at last by an
exnerience of DIR. Hayes. He was sort OF
Nansen of that day. He had been 70 the
North pole and it made him celebrated ne
had even seen the polar bear climb the pole.
He had made one Of those magnificent
voyages. such as Nansen made. and N
those DAYS when man did anything which
greatly distinguished him for the moment
he had to come on the lecture platform and
tell all about Il.
DIR, HAYES was a great, magnificent
creature, like Nansen. superbly built. He
had never been on q platform at ALI he
was TO appear In Boston. He wrote his
lecture out, and it was his purpose to read
IL from manuscript, but in an evil hour ne
concluded that it would be good thing TO
preface. it with something rather hand
some. poetical and beautiful that he could
get of by heart and deliver Ii as II 1t were
the though, of the moment.
He had not had my experience. and
could not do that. He came on the plat
gan with a beautiful piece Of oratroy. He
spoke something like this:
when a lonely human being, a pigmy
In the midst Of the architecture Of nature.
stands solitary on those Icy waters and
looks abroad to the horizon and sees
mighty castles and temples of eternal ice
raising up their p!nnac.es, tipped by the
pencil Of the departing sun
Here a man came across the platform
One minute. and then to the audience:
lis Mrs. John Smith in the house? Her
husband has slipped on the ice and broken
his leg
And you could see the Mrs John Smiths
get UP everywhere and drift out of the
house. and It made great gaps everywhere.
Then DIR. Hayes began again: When
lonely man. a pigmy in the architecture
the Janitor came in again and shouted: 1t
ic IN
Jones'
Joke Finally on the Janitor.
Then all the Mrs Jones got up and left.
Once more the speaker started. and was in
the midst Of the sentence when he was in
terrupted again, and the result was that
the lecture was not delivered. But the lee
turer interviewed the janitor afterward in
a private room, and Of the fragments of
the janitor they took twelve basketsful.'
Now. 1 don't want to sit down just in
this way. I have been talking with 50
much levity that / have said no serious
thing. and you are really no better or
wiser. although Robert Buchanan has sug
gested that / am a person who deals In
wisdom. / have said nothing which would
make your better than when you came
here.
II should be sorry to sit down without
having said one serious word which you
can carry home and relate to your chill
dren and the old people who are not able
to get away.
And this is just little maxim which
has saved me from many a difficulty and
many a disaster, and in times of tribuiation
and uncertainty has come 10 my rescue. as
1t shall TO yours II you observe II as I do,
day and night.
~ always use it in an emergency. and
you can take il home as a legacy from
me, and 1t is: When in doubt. tell the
truth. -
The sentiment was greeted with loud
laughter and cheers, amid which Mark
Twain resumed his seat.-Chicago Tribune.