The free press. (Poplarville, Miss.) 1890-19??, 1899-07-13
JOKERS' BUDGET.
The step Upon the stair.


heard a footstep on the stair;
My heart stood still space,
And could feel the hot blood mount
In waves unto my face.
"'Tis she, my love-" 1 told myself;
l rose TO meet the dear,
And met her slippered dad, who
growled;
"Well, what do you want herey'
Chicago News.
Giving Him No EncouraEement.
| Mr. Spooner (seriously)-"Do you
think your father would object to my
marrying your
Miss Sharpe-'I don't know; If he's
| anything like me he would"
A Treaty of Peace.
Have Scribbler, the author, and his
wife made upT
"Oh, yes. She now reads what he
writes, and he eats what she cooks" -
Jewish Comment.
Protecting Himself.
Isn't that man travelling incogni-
tot'
SSH! Yes. Don speak of it!''
"Why? Is he in danger?
In great danger. Ssh! Whisper 1t.
He is the weather man."-Chicago
Post.
His Excuse.
She-Do you remember how you
used to put your arm around my waist
when we were engaged, ten years ago.
You never do so now.
He-No; my arm has not grown any
longer -Indianapolis Journal.
In IA Hurry.
He Canxiously)-"What did youi
| father sayT
She tsweetlyJ-"N Nothing, except that
| he would look you up and see II you
had enough to support wife,
He-"Um-my dear, hadn't we better
elope o-nightT'-New York Weekly.
Surprising Information.
The Cook-Whos that sawed-oH fei'
low l saw in the hall, just now?
The Butler-Thats the masters par
| ber.
The Cook-What, That little shay
er?-Yonkers Statesman.
Sign of Forethought.
"Such an INSULT she exclaimed.
WHAT" he asked.
| why, you know what long hair
Brown, who married Miss Smith TO-
! day, always has had?"
''Of course.
| well, just before he became bene.
dict he had it cut short. Just think
of the natural inference. "-Chicago
Post.
His One Chance.
Mother coming swiftly)-Why, Will
lie. Striking your little sister?
Willie (doggedly)-Aunt Frostface
made me.
Aunt Frostface-Why, Willie! l said
if YOU did strike her l would never
kiss you again.
Willie (still dogged)-Well, l couldn't
let a chance like that slip.-Boston
Journal.
The Complacency of Things.
The conductor of the train had an.
swered them civilly
How kind everybody is to us!'
whispers the bride, with a happy
smile.
Yes. even inanimate things are
kind to u.s. cries the bridegroom, for
the car window had just submitted to
being opened by him with little or no
resistance.-Detroit Journal.
The Glamour of Wealth.
Hicks-I wonder what Grogan could
see in Miss McMidas?
Wicks-They say she is worth half
a million in her own right.
Hicks-Although, as l was about to
say, she is by no means bad-look1ng
girl, and everybody must admit that
she has very engaging way with
her.-Boston Transcript.
Theory Failed Him.
Eyes, he had it bad. Went round
arguing that there was no such thing
as disease and sneerin' at death"
whats he doin' nowT
"rhe last seen of him he was driv-
in hearse" cleveland PLAIN Dealer.
| Devoted to Art.
How are you getting on in your
modelling, KittieT
"Oh-just lovely; I'm devoted to it,
This is a fine head; who is it?"
"Goodness-don't ask me; isn't he
sweet? 1t is either Martin Luther or
Benjamin Franklin. Detroit Free
| Press.
He Had His Doubts.
"As l understand it an X ray will
90 straight through a mans head.
There is nothing quite so penetrating.
is there?"
"Oh. l don't know. Did you ever
hear my daughter ng?'-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Domestic Economy.