The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1899-12-21
A New Kind Of Duel.
Cy DAVID KER.


TNERYONE said - although they
r, took care to say 1t only when he
could not hear them-that Squire Fitz-
gerald, popularly known as Fighting
Tom," was born to be the plague Of all
mis- neighbors. If so, he certainly full
filled the purpose Of his birth better
than most men do.
He seemed to have no other object in
life except finding quarrel to fight out.
or else fighting out quarrel that he
had found. When no pretext for row
was to be had. Fighting Tom was the
quickest man alive at inventing one;
and, indeed, it seemed to be all one to
him, provided the affair ended in q
fight, whether the man with whom he
fought had done anything to him or
not.
What with horsewhipping, knocking
down, shooting or 'pinking' with
small sword, every man who could be
brought to give him the chance, our
worthy Mr.. Fitzgerald had made such
good use Of his opportunities that there
was not a man in the parish to whom he
had not done something, and it was
favorite joke with the wags of the
neighborhood that the fighting squire
could not sleep at night if he had hap
pened to go through whole day with
out killing or hurting some one, which
did not happen often, as you may sup
pose, in times when gentlemen fought
with their best friends for chance dis
pute about the speed of horse or the
color of dog
1t was a sight TO see this terrible fell
low galloping into the little town on a
market day upon his great black horse,
which no one could ride but himself,
with his hat cooked fiercely over one eye
and his heavy whip in his hand, ready
for n good cut at anybody who might
dare to get in his way; but ii was sell
dom enough that he had chance of
using it. for the moment he was seen
coming down the road everybody took
TO their heels as if he had been mad
dog.
And then he would swagger INTO the
coffee room Of the King George, where
the farmers used to dine, and take the
best seat at table and lay down the law
to the whole company, watching all the
while to see if anyone would dare to
contradict or oppose him.
But it was very rarely that anyone did
so: for he was a great, brawny fellow
six feet high and quite as ready with
his fists as with his sword or pistol, and
il was his favorite boast that there
wasn't a man within ten miles of his
house whom he couldn't thrash easily.
We have said that this amiable gen
tleman was popularly believed to have
auarreled with every man in the parisl
of Bullocksham. But this belief, though
correct enough in the main, was not en-
tirelv so. There was one man will
whom he had never quarreled, for thu
simple reason that the most quarrel
some man alive could scarcely hav'
managed to get any cause of DISPUTE
out of dear old Jabez Goodharte, th
Quaker.
For threats, abuse or loud talk o
every kind, "friend Jabez" had but on
answer, and that was to smile his owl
pleasant, kindly smile and say in hi
chirping little voice, which sounded jus
like the chirrup of canary: "Mcn sa,
friend, and l will not be one"
And Jabez certainly acted up to hi
words; for whereas Tom Fitzgerald car
ried with him wherever he went an at
mosphere of strife and Drawing, tn
kindly old Quaker seemed to put every
body in good humor with the mere sigh
of his compact little figure and bright
CHEEKY face.
Sulky old Grimes, the tollman, wh
rrumbled at everyone else, twisted III
grabbed visage into kind of wintr
smile as Mr.. Goodharte passed, and ha
even been known to wish him merr
Christmas-a most unheard-ot stretc
of cordiality for him.
Two hulking wagoners fighting in III
market place had been stopped by Jabe
stepping fearlessly in between thel
and Joining their huge brown hands /
his with a few words of kindly r.
proof -,
Even stiff old Lord Ivytower, IN
nroudest man In the whole county, ha
eondescended to shake hands cordial
with Mr.. Goodharte and to give hi
Ave hounds for "his poor;" for JabC
seemed TO consluer al 'HV PoOA va
locksham as his own especial propert.
and was always trotting about VIZ
baskets of food and bundles of flanhe
now sitting up all night with a sic
child. now reading to blind old won
nm. and now putting an unemploye
man in the way of getting job
Hitherto Fitzgerald had let his gull
little ncighbor contemptuously aloh
ms not being fighting man; but
length something occurred to make M
change his mind. News reached III
through one of those countless indlvi
nails who attend 10 eyerybody's atlai
hut their own that Jabez Goodharte ht
been heard TO say, in answer to a neig