The Afro-American advance., 1899-12-23
wI6GINs GREAT SCHEME.
Ana since He Thought Of II t'hrls,.
a,as= Has No More rerrors
for IIlna. a.


Zs'Tell you# what, boyR,' began Wig
gins, dropping into his accustomed seat
behind the Wayhaok junction post
otliee stove and nstentatfously remoy.
| ing "A pair of hrand-nsw ear-muifs and
slowing them away in his oyereoat
pocket, "Christmas an'the glad holi-
day time, as they call IL, hahn got half
the terrors fer me they used to have.
Why. | ean remember the time when
| used to dread the comm of Christmas
fer six weeks In advance. an l used to
| lay awake nights tryin' to figger out
what could get fer Mahala fer about
II shillings that she'd think cost five
or six dollars an be tickled TO pieces
over, an then when got il mebbe
wouldn't hit=the hull's-eye after all.
| an she'd find fault an want me to take
it back 10 the store and trade IL of
/ fer suthin' else. An then, TO sort of
cap the climax an pile the final straw
ON the eame's back, I'd generally find
In my stocking, or pinned fast To 1t II
there wasn't room inside, a pair of
home-made. .carpet.tup slippers big
enough for the Cardiff giant, or rutiled
an ribbon. hetrimmed nightcap that
Iwouldn't wear fer dollar a night, es-
peeIally II anyone was liable TO see me
in 1t, or some other fancy gmcrack
of no earthly use to anShody outside of
u dime museum or a refuge fer the
trchle-mindcd.
"rhat is the way II used TO be on
Christmas. but now II Is different. Me
an Mahala have turned over new leaf
ON the annual Christmas.p present in
Fiction, as ! used Go consider IL. We
turned Ii over exactly five years ago,
sort OF Topped the leaves simultaneous
ly, as IL were, an sence that time I've
enjoyed havin' the merry Christmases
come scootin' along, an liked the pres.
entS got each time better'n | ever did
before in my lifc
It's great idee boys, there's no dis.
count ON that, an l s'posc ought TO
get patent on Il, hut hate to make
folks pay fer anything that's Roin' 10
he n public benefit an make everybody
happier that adopts Il, I'll tell you how
IL works, an then You can all see fer
yourselves what big improvement II
Is over the old way OF buyin' Christmas
presents.
at was little over five years ago
that the idee popped into my head, an
guess Mahnla must he mlnd-reader
or suthin' similar, because, though
never let on word about what / WAS
up to. she seemed 20 catch on to the
plan | was revolyn' In my upper story y
an adopt II at the same time did. Meb-
be II was Jest plain instinct women
are great on that, you know. Anyhow,
d there wasn't no frcttin' or worryin'
/. around about suitable Christmas pres.
e ents that year; everything slipped
Is along ns slick MS IL they had been 'spe'
d clally greaSed fer The occasion. an
g when Christmas mnrnin' finally arrived
II on schedule time jumped out OF bed n'
Il usual, hauled paEtehoard box about
}. three inches square ont Of my right
4. stocking, opened Il and found inflde o.
u II as purity a set Of store.teeth as yol
Il ever clapprd into your mouth.
~ seen right AWAY that the deuts
hnd made a lnisiit of IL, so | spoke ul
an sadi
"'See here, Mahala, They've meas
ured the wrong mouth fer these teeth
They're purity as q pieier but they'r
about four sizes too small fer me an /
J. | try TO wear 'em tho first thing know
# III be swal.owin The plaRuey things m
II eholu' myself to death
e ais that SOP says Mahala, quietly
y. We'll, then, suppose you exchange will
Is me fer this meerfham pipe an fancy
81 tobaektr pouch that I have jest founr
q In my stocking. I've been wantin' u new
n set Of teeth FER some time, an
e shouldn't wonder q mite II those you'v
got there would jest M me.
n 81 didn't see amy objections 10 tradlB
seein' I'D been hankerin' fer that kInt
of a pipe fer quite spell, an We mad
the trade, GRIMM over II ak If II WIS
good joke on both Of us; an sense thn
time me an Mahala have awoppet
presents right along each Christmas
an got suthin' useful an satisfaetorl
an that fitted ne well IA II We had beei
measured fer n every time.
"Yes. stree. boys" concluded Wigglns
with the air Of man who ia wel
pleased With the world and himself. :"
always used 10 dread buyin' Christina
presents worse'n gettin' a toatb pulled
but senee I've hit ontoa sensible way O
doin' the thing. Mahala agrees witt
me ON IL an folcrs the same plan, th
annual holiday shoppin' possesses n
more teFrora fer mc than sitpTfH
around u the grocery store shturda
night an lnyestin' In peck Of fer
muda sweet potatoes, fresh from Jersey
or purehaain' pound an half Of th
latest brand Of bpneieas Goldfish -
Y. World
/
The sresaa of Happtnsss.
Christmas n the season Of happinesi
| and IL Aeftua that IL mar a., al ells.ta ~