Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1899-12-15


Read the New York Weekly Trybune IN
Cipher an write fair hand
lie graduated mighty quick an
Started In to earn his board an keep.
] may say that account for my
Success In life an my al-round
Ability to get the long end OF trade
On the grounds, by ginger that when
l wuz young didn't learn
Lot of hifalutin' tomfoolery.
il does seem TO me the schools
These days is run by pack CT
Sap-heads. F'rlnstance-
AS soon as young uns arc big enough
To waddle they set 'em q work
In what they call kindergarten,
Buildin' block houses an DRAWN
Pickchers an so on-the derndest
Mess of tommyrot you could imagine
Then, when they're little older,
They start 'em into readin' before
They even learn 'em their b Cs.
If that amt fact I'll eat my hat.
Now, | claim, as practical man,
That the only way TO break in
Child to readn' is just TO learn EN-
The alphabet, then the a-b-abs
An the short words, an then after
That let 'em tackle the short
Sentences graduley workin' up to
Ossian's Address TO the Sun.
That's what / done.
The Lord Harry only knows what
They don't have the children
Do these days, though.
] says 10 my sisters little girl, Mile
The other day, | says to her: What
Are you takin' at school now, Millie?
An she said she was takin'-
Well, l can't begin to tell you,
Only remember two, Spanish an
Physiology. | says: For the lands
Sake, what does girl no bigger'n paS
O. salt
Want to learn TO jabber
That stuff for? Amt United States good
enough
For your | says. What's the use OF
wastin'
Your time learnin' to talk that?' says.
Furthermore, / don't like the Spanish,
An wouldn't care TO talk TO 'em.
An as far as
The other thing wuz concerned, i'll
Had a daughter wouldn't want her
To be studyin' about livers an lights
An all such entrails, becuz them
Things don't concern girls. It's all
Right for a doctor TO know about
lizards an what they're for, but
A girl had a dog-goned sight better
Learn how to keep house an cook,
So't when she gets married she
Can help her husband save money.
But what started out to say
Wuz this-l see by the papers
That the teachers Amt allowed.to
Punish the scholars any more.
They made EN- stop usin' the cad
Some time ago, an now they go
So far as to say that the children
Must learn self-goverment!
What do you think of that?
Self-govern ment! In other words,
Let the children be their own bosses.
I'd like to know what kind OF an
Old granny got up that rule.
l know, an you know, that there's
Some boys that need good thrashin'
Now an then, just the same as me
An you need our meals.
1t seems to regulate an tone the
System for 'em. Spare the rod
An spoil the child They never
Spared 1t on me. | used to get
II laid across my back regular
With hickory derned near big
Enough for fence post. l used to
Have welts up an down my legs
An be black an blue most o. the time.
After got 1t at school I'd go home
An the old man'd do II all over again.
There's nothin' like a good larrupin'
Two or three times week to
Tougher up a boy an sort O. keep
The orneriness busted out o. him.
] got so ! used to expect 1t,
An II ] went whole week
Without gettin' my jacket tanned
| wuz sort o. restless, a good
Deal like a horse that feels
His oats an wants to get out OF
His box stall an cavort around
Through the lot for awhile.
The teacher seemed to know what
/ needed whenever I'd begin to
Act little cagey, so he used to
Go for me about once a week
Whether he had any good excuse or not
He just licked me on general
Principles, KNOWN mighty well that,
Even II he couldn't ketch me In any
Deviltry, II was only fair to conclude
That, I'd been up to somethin' that
lie didn't know anything about:
An I'm free to say he didn't very
Often get In lick amiss.
There wuZn't any woman could teach
That school. II took a full hand.
A man didn't have TO know very much
But II he wuzn't good wras'ler
An II he couldn't choke the wind out OF
a great big hulk weighin about one-elght.
An then get him down into a corner
An basic him till he hollered: Enough
Well. he didn't have no call TO
Try to teach the young idee how
To shoot around in them parts.
We didn't try any self-govcr'
Experiments, can tell you that.
The first day o. school the teacher
Licked the biggest boy or got
Licked an after that we either
Knew who wuZ boss or else
School let out till the board
Could hunt up Il heavier man
For a teacher.
An now. by thunder If a teacher lays
a finger on a boy for some piece OF
CussednesS they get the law on s.w;
The schovi board fires him an
Everybody says he's a brute.
What are we comm to?
DO you think I'd be the man
| am to-day II | hadn't got some
Sense pounded into me when wuz young
No. sir!
It's a mighty good thing amt on
The school board.
There'd be a change o. teachers
All around next Monday.
I'd put in some able-bodied men,
An before Monday night there's many
a poor neglected child rig in this
Town thatd be settin' side ways." t
Chicago Daily Record.