davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
Elizabeth Cromwell

Cromwell legends are SO ubiquitous
 in England that it is real relief to lay one's hand upon bit of solid fact re- lating either to the protector or his family. Elizabeth, the second and fa- vorite daughter of Cromwell, married John Claypole of Marlborough, and appears to have spent a considerable portion of her 12 years of welded life in his substantial fourteenth century house. Carlyle asserts Elizabeth Clay pole to have been ''a graceful, brave and amiable woman" and of her home that it is ''now ruined-patched into a farmhouse.
 The second statement is not charac- terized by his usual accuracy, and the first probably needs some modification, for Elizabeth Claypole is credited with some turning of her head over her fa- ther's elevation. and at wedding feast is reported to have exclaimed, when asked why the wives of the major generals were absent, "I'n warrant you, washing their dishes at home, as they used to do." Not a particularly "amiable' sentence that.
 Cromwell seems to have had some insight of her little weakness. "Tell her" he wrote once, ito take heed of heart and of being cozened with worldly vanities and worldly oom- pany, which, doubt, she is too subject to-" It is agreed by most authorities that John Claypole himself was little enough of a Puritan, but let it stand to his credit that, after Oliver died, he provided haven for his widow for the rest of her life in this manor house. Cincinnati Commercial Tribune. -
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

| There are those who would have us believe that men have degenerated 1T herOism since the old days of chivalry
 Not so. There are not only more men of heroic courage to-day than ever be
 fore in the history of the world, but the number Is greater in proportion to the population. Excluding our Deweys
 HObsons and other giants in warlike courage, there remain untold thou. sands in the humble walks of life who require only the opportunity to demon, strate the Godlike heroism which is in them. Every daily newspaper brings to its readers stories of heroism as great, if not so momentous in their eff fleets on history, as were ever imTnor- talized in song or story. Two incidents of recent occurrence will serve as ex- amples. Only few days ago locomo- tive fireman, sticking to his perilOus post to the fatal climax, was pinned under his derailed locomotive in a rail- way wreck in Pennsylvania. His lower limbs were securely held by the great weight above them and he was power less to free himself. The flames which enveloped the wreck drew gradually nearer him. Coolly he directed the ef- forts of those who were frantically working to rescue him until 1t became evident that all effort was frutless. Then, instead of breaking out in lam entations and bemoaning his fate, he calmly shook hands with those nearest him, bade them gOod-by, drew his coat over his face and waited the coming of death in its most frightful manner. As the flames reached him there was an involuntary shudder of the helpless form, calm "Good-by, boysw. and a hero had gone uncomplainingly to h!s reward. More recent and perhaps even more heroic Is the case of William Car ney, of Richmond, Ind. He was an engineer i'll the Richmond Rolling Mills. He was alone in the engine room, when he fell against large gear wheel. One leg was torn completely from his body. Realizing that no one would come for hours and that disaster would certain ly result if the fires under the boilers were left burning, this humble hero dragged himself fully fifty feet to the boiler room, turned off the natural gas, and died. When the machinery stop ped other employees rushed to the en- zine room to ascertain the trouble and found the dead hero with a smile of eXultatiOn on his pallid face. Death had been sweetened by the thought of duty we'll performed and perhaps other lives saved. Talk of the heroes of old! We have their superiors with us to-day in every. walk of life.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

With adequate compensation and as- sured permanency in the service men of talent would be induced to specially train themselves for consular work and devote their lives to it. Where we now have consuls who regard their places as mere sinecures given them as re- ward for political service or through the mediation of somebody with "pulP at Washington, we should have men giving all their energies to the work with as much enthusiasm as if it were their chosen profession-as, in- deed, 1t would be under a proper sys- tenn
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

Here is a story given in the New York Sun. Its pathos and its exhibi- ton of soldier fathers patriotic pride will appeal to feeling and to sympathy. When, on the battle-line, tidings came to Captain Capron of the regulars, an- nOuncing the death of his son, killed at Las Guasimas, he went, when duty permitted, to where the body lay. The dead soldiers hat was placed over his face. His poncho covered his body. Only the feet, clad in mud-clotted shoes, were visible. White-faced, but sternly erect, the father stood, gazing upon the last of three brave sons. Then, gently lifting the. hat from the face of the dead, and looking at it with fearful eyes, he said. with proud tenderness, "Well done, my boy" Soon replacing the hat, he strode off, with soldierly erectness, to where his duty lay, to die, a few months later, of disease contract ed at Santiago.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

The powers, Russia included. impel- led to further armament by the achievements of some one or two of them, are pursuing a circle from which they cannot safely step. Some day they will turn upon each other and col lide, and after exhaustion and ruin have made it imperative for them to put every sound man at work they may consider long truce or even an agreement to turn their wasted armies into police. But to think they will do so while in the flush and vigor of their quarrelsome military strength is to in- dulge in a millennial dream.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
cIvILIZiNG THE SAVAGE.
Dialogue Between an African and a
 Christian CiviIizer.


 While Czar Nicholas II. recently ex- pressed his opinion of the civilization brought to the benighted heathens by their Christian fellow-men as amount ing frequently to nothing more than a shipload of cognac, Andrew Lang tells us of a savage" tribe which is so shocked at the selfishness and cruelty of the whites that it has instituted a sort of puriication rite for those of the tribe who have come in contact with them upon their returning home. The Freethinker contains the following dia- logue of large, strong man, dressed in uniform and armed to the teeth, knock ing at the door of hut on the coast of Africa, with the black native:
 'Who are you, and what do you want?" asked a voice from the inside.
 'In the name of civilization, open your door, or I'll break it down for you and fill you full of lead"
 ''But what do you want here?
 "My name is Christian Civilization. Don't talk like fool, you black brute. What do you suppose want here but to civilize you, and make reasonable human being out of you, if it is possi- ble."
 What are you going to do?"
 'fIn the first place, you must dress yourself like white man. It's a shame and a disgrace the way you go about. From now on you must wear underclothing, a pair of pants, vest, coat, plug hat and pair of yellow gloves. I will furnish them to you at a reason able price,"
 What shall do with them?"
 "Wear them, of course. You didn't expect to eat them, did you? The first step of civilization is to wear proper clothes"
 "But it is too hot to wear such gar ments. I'm not used to them. I shall perish from the heat. Do you want to murder me"
 "Well, if you die, you will have the satisfaction of being a martyr to civili- Zation."
 1Ou are very kluU.
 Don't mention it. What do you do for living, anyhowT
 "When get hungry I eat a banana. I eat, drink or sleep just as feel like it."
 What horrible barbarity! You must settle down to some occupation, my friend. If you don't shall have to lock you up as a vagrant."
 'If I've got to follow some occupa- ton, I think I'll start a coffee house. I've got a good deal of coffee and sugar on hand"
 "Oh, you have, have you? Why, you are not such a hopeless case as thought you were. In the first place, you must pay me f5."
 "What for?"
 "An occupation tax, you innocent heather. Do you expect to get all the blessings of civilization for nOthing?" "But haven't got any money"
 '"That makes no difference. I'll take It out in sugar and coffee. If you don't pay, I'll put you in jail"
 What Is a jail?"
 "Jail is a progressive word. You must be prepared to make sacrifices for civ you knowY
 What a great thing civilization isw "You cannot possibly realize the ben efits, but you will before have done with you"
 The unfortunate native took to the woods and has not been seen since.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

One of the model hotels for single men, built in New York City by D. O. Mills, and so managed that it promises to be self-supporting is nine stories high and holds fifteen hundred and sixty sleeping rooms, all of which front the street or one of the open courts. It is elegantly finished and furnished, with every desirable improvement and comfort; and its patrons get bed and board. with the free use of library, reading-rooms and baths, for fifty to seventy-five cents a day. There is no bar, and a visitor gets the impression that the men are clean, orderly and self-respecting. The scheme of Mir. Mills includes three of these hotels, with the possibility of another for women.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
Kicked by a Kansas Insect.

It was during one of those beautiful Indian summer days in October for which Kansas Is noted that Daniel Du- val, a well-to-do farmer of Phillips County, received kick in the eye from a grasshopper with the result that for some weeks there was great fear that he would not recover the sight of the eye. This athletic feat on the part of the insect does not mean that grass hoppers grow to such size out in Phil lips County that they can assail the in- habitants while sitting on the ground. The one to which MT. Duval Is indebt- ed for a badly inflamed eye was con- siderably above the average grass hopper in size, and was speeding through the air when the farmers face unluckily crossed it's path. The result was that it struck the farmer in the right eye with as much precision as If shot from gun by an American naval gunner. The eyeball was badly lacer- ated.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
MARKED WITH BRAND OF CAIN.
Michigan PaImist Says Hands of Mur-
 derers Contain Proof of Guilt.

Michigan PaImist Says Hands of Mur-
 derers Contain Proof of Guilt.
 Does the murderer bear the mark of crime in his hand? A palmist of De troit, Mich, says yes. without equivo- cation. It Is a peculiar, almost triangu- lar mark in the middle of the palm, con nected with what palmists call the heart line. He took casts of the hands of Adolph Luetgert, convicted of mur- dering his wife in Chicago, and of The Odore Durrant, who was executed for the murder of two young women in San Francisco. In both of these he found the murderers mark distinctly traced, and he has found it in other hands. He said:
 ''Let the police authorities provide half a dozen criminals, one of whom shall be a convicted murderer-only he must be guilty beyond all question-and
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
Easy for the Professor.

"And now," said the professor, as the regular class exercises were finished, lis there any question any of the young ladies would like to ask?''
 'How is it, sir" inquired the auburn haired girl at the pedal extremity of the class, ''that Father Time is always represented as being baldheadedY'
 That is easily accounted for" replied the professor. "So. many people during their school days grasped Time by the forelock in trying to get away from the foot of the class that his hair has all been pulled out. Sect?
 The girl at the foot never answered 8 word
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

air as substitute for steam and for high explosives. His recent announce meat of his ability to manufacture liquid air cheaply and in large quanti ties is now further supplemented with the statement that he has invented practical motor, by means of which the new force can be applied to all kinds of machinery. In its revolution izing effects Professor Tripler's dis coveries with liquid air stand in close rivalry with Tesla's claims in regard to his electric oscillator. Both men have still to give practica1 proof of their amazing claims, but their experiments are profoundly interesting for all that. Professor Tripler says his motor Ire quires only the perfection of a few mechanical details" in order to make 1t run railway trains, steamships, and factories. As liquid air has been dem onstrated to possess from twenty to one hundred times the power of steam there can be no doubt as to its ability to supplant steam if once applied in a practical way. The few details which Mir. Tripler admits remain to be solved may prove to be larger obstacles than he lmagines, but the enormous possi- bilities so nearly within his reach cer- tainly ought to spur him on to success if anything can. If he can complete his motor 1t will assure a place for liquid air second in importance only to electricity itself. The use of liquid air as a refrigeFating agency and as an explosive, as we'll as its application as a motive power for all sorts of machin- cry, presents such a multitude of inn pOrtant possibilities that the public will not fail to watch with keen interest the inventors future progress.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
4 MISTAKE IN THE BIRD MARKEV.

A Persian in the market place
 Longed for and so took home a wren. Yes, his was but common case;
 Such always are the ways of meni Once his, the brown bird please him not; Almost he wished it would take wing. He loosed the cage door and forgot The dark, unsinging, lonely thing. Night came and touched with wind and dew (AlOne there in the dim moonshine) A rose that at the window grew And. oh, that sudden song divinei His children started from their sleep, Their orient eyes with rapture lit. Their pale young mother bid to weep: Their father did not care whit. He only heard the impassioned wall From that small prison overhead. My wren is but nightingalel I'll wiring its noisy throatl" he said.
 Sarah Piatt in CAntnrv
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
A CharifahIa Girl

Miss Cutting" began young Soft leigh, "foh some time law have been sewously thinking, doncher know, and asa wesult, law have half mind"
 Well" interrupted Miss Cutting, ''that is more than any of your ac- quaintances credit you with, but I'll be real charitable and concede you that much; so pray say no more about it."
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
Homicide.

A local band was one day playing at Dunfermline, when an old weaver came up and asked the bandmaster what air they were playing. "That is 'The Death of Nelson,'" replied the bandmaster, solemnly. "Ay, mon," re- piled the weaver, "ye hae gi'en him an awful death"
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
Paradise.

Little Alice-What kind of a place do you think heaven is?
 Little Harry-Well, if heavens as nice as they say, guess they must let you eat your pie first when you sit down to dinner there.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
Once Was Enough.

'What do you consider the luckiest thing you ever did?
 "The luckiest thing ever did was to quarrel with one of the two girls to whom I was engaged just before my marriage"
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
A Real Success.

''That motor you are interested in never worked, did it?"
 "Of course it worked" was the indig- nant reply. Tt never pulled any cars or moved any machinery. But it made money for it's owners, and that's more than most inventions do."
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

Little Queen Wilhelmina of Holland - has again inf f0-tned her ministers that she proposes have voice in govern Ing her dominions, and those staid Dutchmen are learning that woman's voice is one of the hardest things in the world to ignore.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
An Extreme Case.

First suburbanite-I've become ex- tremely fOrgetful of late.
 Second suburbanite-Is that so?
 First suburbanite-Yes. Some morn ings I can't remember whether I'm to bring back a cook or nOt-Puck.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

It's proposed in Greece that no bache- lors shall be allowed seats in the lower branch of the national congress. This may be because by their training they have less regard for the speaker of the
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
Her Opinion.

"Yaas," said Mir. Willikins, q am ac- quainted with two dead languages"
 "Weli," replied Miss Sharpleigh, Judging by what you do to English every time you say more than a dozen words am constrained to believe that you must have murdered those poor dead languages you speak of."
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
An ExDert.

Prisoner-Your honor, wasn't drunk when they locked me up.
 Judge-You had been drinking, had you not?
 Some But had at least eight more drinks comin' to me before it would be time to git Dinched"
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

Spanish books will be admitted to Cuba free of duty for the next ten years. Let us hope that by that time the Cubans will be writing and print Ing books of their own that will repre- sent the beginnings of a new literature.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

It was a modest Philadelphia maiden
 lady who in relating the story of re- cent shipwreck told her friends that seven sailors were brought ashore by the life-savers in the pantaloons buoy.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
How Genius Sprouted.

T wonder how Treadway became such success as a writer of fiction?'
 Il think that it was his college prac- tice that did it.'
 How was thatY'
 "When he used to write home for money he told the most ingenious fairy stories imaginable" - Detroit Free Press.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

What those Pacific islands need is a dash of American speed and energy. Think of a people who could waste the time of four syllables in pronouncing six1ettered word like Iloilo.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

Bill-I thought you said you were go- Ing to turn over a new leaf the first of the year.
 Will-Well, I didsh, ole man, but foun' distillery advertisement on nex' page.-New York News.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

It is presumed that England has placed that order with the shipbuild- CTS on the Clyde merely to help enforce the Czar's proposal for disarmament if the nations assent to it.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
One Mans Wisdom.

She Ia fair divorcee)-Do you believe in second marriages, MT. Singleton7
 He yeWell-er-that de pends. By the way, how much ali monY did you receive?
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
Autiseptic Surgery,

Governor of the prison-What is the cause of this unseemly delay?
 Jailer-That expert headsman you en- gagged from the medical school is ster- iliZing the ax.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

When a young man demonstrates that he has money to burn, some young woman always stands ready to furnish the match.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
SiupIe RIessedues.

What lot of bachelors there are nowadays"
 Isn't it selfish of them, too, to think so much of their own happiness?
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

There can be no doubt of the sin cerity of the tribute to Col. Waring of the New York overshoe dealer who said the ColOnePs street cleaning cut his sales In half.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

Adam Fad, of whom Rudyard Kip ling wrote, must not be confounded with the notorious Adam Zapple of an earlier period.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
Barbers on the Ocean.

One of the most important persons on board we'll equipped ocean liner is the barber. If he is gifted with a good busi- ness instinct, be is in position to make a good deal of money.
 To the average man shaving while at sea is difficult and hazardous opera tion. He therefore calls into requisition the services of the ships barber, a man who by long training is qualified to wield the razor with skill and safety, no matter how much the vessel rolls or pitches.
 He is always one of the most heavily "tipped" officials on the ship. If the ship travels on a route with interesting ports of call, the ships barber makes it his business to lay in stock of native kniokknacks and curios of all kinds.
 The inexperienced traveller is natu- rally little suspicious of the native peddlers who swarm on board with their wares directly the ship is at anchor He prefers to purchase his mementos of foreign travel of the barber, who, hay ing bought his stock at wholesale rates, is able to retail the various articles to passengers at prices little if at all high CT than those charged by the native tradesman.-Excbange.
 .
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

As soon as the dismemberment of China can be accomplished without war 1t may be said that the prospects for universal peace are really pretty fair.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
He Needed a Rest.

Meeks-DOctOr, my wife has the lock jaw.
 Doctor-That's bad. I'll hurry around to your house at once and see what I can do to relieve her.
 Meeks-Oh, there's no hurry about 1t. Drop in the latter part of next week if you ain't too busy.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
Small Boys Hero.

Boy (to sea captain who has repu- tation to maintaip)-Did you ever get your leg bit off by shark, captain?
 Captain-Did I, sonny? Did I? Well, rather. Dozens of times!Tit-Bits.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

The Minister of War in Belgium has ordered 25,000 patriotic song books dis tributed in the army. He proposes to make Belgium's foes sing small.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
A Man of Family.

Borus-I hear you have taken a wife to yourself, Smithers. Whom did you marry?
 Smithers (dejectedly)-Milly Jones, her mother, her stepfather and two maiden aunts.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
A Desperate Case.

She-And what will you do if I refuse to become your wife-nothing desper- ate, hope?
 He-Yes! shall go away somewhere and get job-Ill have to.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

If the men are not paying much at tention to the corset trust it may be because it presses the other sex more closely than themselves.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

Bernhardt, 1t appears, has witnessed an eruption of Vesuvius. She is suffi- ciently free from professional jealousy to admit 1t was a red-hot show.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
'Twas Ever Thus,

White-How about that wedding check your father-inlaw gave you was 1t good?
 Brown-Certainly You know, it's the unexpected that always happens.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
Johnny Was Enough

JOhnny-I say, father, did you ever wish you had lots of little boys?
 Papa-Yes, my son, before had you.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

It's pity that death doesn't transfer its affections from a shining mark to the mining shark.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
Hia Exnar;ance

Diggs-Do you believe that it Is pos sible to heal merely by the touch?
 Biggs-Sure. A physician recently "heeled" himself by touching me fer $50.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

Professor Charles E. Tripler, of Brooklyn, continues to have unbounded faith in the practical uses of nQuefed
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

submit the hands for my scrutiny. do not ask to see the faces and figures of these criminals; only their hands. 1 will pick out the murderer's hand from tho Inf o
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

"You ought to have one of those pho nographs in your home, sir. It will re- peat everything-"
 Il tell you l don't need one; my wife belongs to sewing society."-Cleve- land Plain Dealer.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18

Porto Rico appears to be distinctly the good little girl among the Spanish orphans.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
Bound to Be HapDv.

She-They say that persons of oppo- site qualities make the happiest mar riages.
 He-That's why I'm looking for a girl with money.
The St. Johns herald., 1899-03-18
He Enjoyed It,

Fred-That cigar you gave me did me lots of good.
 Arthur-I'm glad of it. When did you smoke it?
 "Oh, 1 didn't smoke it. gave 1t to Howard; l hate him, you know."- Harlem Life.