New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-03-22
ADRuMMER's EXPERIENCE IN A BLAz-
ING HOTEL.
what He Had PLANNED . Do In Just
finch q Contingency ind What He
Really Did when the Opportunity
offered Itself.

nIsI motel IRE IN winch mad inquired.
had often mentally calculated upon
what j should do in case a hotel in
which 4 was q guest should begin to
[eonfagrate. j was going to be the cool
est headed man within radius Of many
miles H the fire should break out in
the middle of the night while ] was in
bed. intended to get up very coolly.
upon being awakened, deliberately slip
on enough clothing to keep me out Of
the hands of the police upon making
my appearance, get my money and then
pick up my most valuable sample case
and the Yalise in which I had packed
articles of clothing in current Rse and
walk out, leaving the rest of my gear
to take its chance upon the fire being
sqnelched. On my way through the cor
ridors, in case I met up with any beau
tiful, duplicating maidens or any
aged, incapable women, I had it all pic
tured how l would drop my two grips
and take them down the seething stair
case, one on each arm, presenting
heroic and inspiring spectacle as /
emerged from the caldron of fame
"Well, what happened2 Luckily for
me, had third story front room in
the Baldwin. The fire broke out in the
basement along toward 3 o'clock in the
morning. / snored luxuriously until
about a dozen engines were throwing
streams on the lower portion of the
structure When I was in the middle of
dream that Twas standing in front of
a lot Of big stores on great business
thoroughfare, throwing croquet balls
through huge plate glass windows-it
was the smashing glass down below
that got me into that strain of dream
ing-I woke up. The glare in my room
was something luminous. Did slowly
stretch, say to myself, Here's that long
waited for fire. and it's up to me to be
the man Of the hour and the real thing?'
+ "Not much did II I just hoped up
like man who finds family Of cent?
peds in his bed I grabbed pair of
rubbers that were lying alongside my
bed and put them on the wrong feet,
giving all the time during the perform
ance a realistic exhibition of man
undergoing a swamp chill. Then l
snatched a macintosh that I had
thrown over my trunk on coming in the
night before and folded it after consid-
cradle difficulty, owing to my chill
tremblings, over my pyjamas. Then !
reached for hat and of course it was
about my luck to get the worst hat
owned out Of half dozen scattered over
the room. Then made for the door. l
want you to understand that made for
the door in hurry too.
''On my way to the door stumbled
over one of my sample cases and kicked
it over in front of the door. 7 had to
pick it up in order to open the door,
and SO hung on to it and took it along
with me. afterward found it to be
the least consequential sample case I
had, one that 1 could very easily have
dispensed with compared with those
that lost. Jewelry? Money? Dudsg
wasn't thinking any more Of them
when 1 frantically unlocked and un-
barred that door Of mine than was of
taking balloon before breakfast in the
morning and starting for the north pole.
just wanted to get out, that's all. The
halls were filed with smoke, I found,
but after ten years of stopping annual
ly at the Baldwin, generally in the same
room, ! knew the stairways and the
route down to the lobby pretty we'll,
and just put my free hand over my
mouth and nose and made the rush.
''D'ye suppose that if I had met 40
of the most beautiful maidens on the
globe-supplicating, imploring maidens
standing there confused in that third
floor hallway I'd have picked 'em up
one in each arm and, permitting them
to gently nestle up against my mackin-
tosh, have carried them triumphantly
down the stairs and out into the street
and under the broad arch of heaven and
all that? No, wouldn't have. It's
grievous and grewsome to.have to con-
fess it, but I'd just have yelled at them
to follow my route and then have kept
on getting over territory myself I fell
down the first flight Of stairs, from top
to bottom, then picked myself up with
the one idea of getting out, scampered
to the head Of the second flight Of stairs
and fell down those I lit on the flag
ging of the lobby, and in two more sec
onds was in the street. When, few
minutes later. reflected upon my loss
and the general hamlike character of
my conduct, did want to go back and
get my things and do the whole thing
over again right and in accordance with
my preconceived intentions in case Of a
hotel fire? Nope. I was content to stand
there in the street and figure how I'd
perform the next time got similarly
caught. Washington Star.
An Undertaking..
Isabel, does your husband get angry
when he tells you to wake him early
and you dent do it
.sNo, dear. He knows thatI know he