davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Cañon City record., 1899-04-06
HOMEMADE PHILOSOPHY.

The promise ov ekwel justice and
liberty in heas.n IL crater blessin to
yoomanity than awl the gold and pre-
shus stuns in the walls of the Moo Joo-
roosalum.
Self-edyoocaIhun VERY often IL only
lsarnin how to dig up the naked trooth,
In land ware the naked trooth liz toe
vulgar to cum into general yoose.
] hev herd people singin at toon in
the country church. durin the revival
seazon. witch. had they fell on Il in the
dark. wud hev stabd them with NOR
tai wound.
Filosofy makes good fodder to feed
to q dreamer, but wen he wakes up and
trfze to filosofize pair ov bootx on hiz
feet, and to filosofize sum meat In biz
belly. he nnds hisself stuck.
l don't like that sort ov patriotism
that must be pumpt inter the boys, the
same az 700 pump up bisickel tire;
thayr too apt to git punctoored at the
very first sharp attack.
The cheap mean man IL the feiler hoo
kin be hired to do sumboddy rons
fur q dollar considerashun: the dear
man IL the feller that the wimmin want
to skweeze fur nuthin.
God bless the man hoo originates
moo idee. be 1t good or bad; for thare
Il millyuns ov people hoo wud never
git moo idee in thare beds in mill
yum yeerze. II It wuxent fur the original
thinkers.
II men kin manage to live under bad
government, cuddent thay live better
under good government II thay cud-
dent, cud thay live without any gov
ernment Mt awl? Anarky II boat
without a captin, or any VOTER to hoai
It on.
Don't be 70 orfully affsared ov new
theoreezs and wild reform dreemzs.
Outer theory cumze awi things that ars
practikal: but It takes good deal ov
bilin down to be shoore. = good deal ov
bilin down.
II IL harder to reform . man hoo
duxent wantsr be reformed than 1t Y
to wash a tramp hoo il affeared ov
wotter becaws he had q brother drown
In It wun time
II everything on earth II list - 4
otter be exceptfn man. dtxent II iooh
reaxonabull that mebby man even d
fist as he otter be. only he hazent had
time to git hiz full groath yit'
md sum things about sivilixashua
that don't like. but some other feiies
4 maxim mummy outer them same In
diwideooaf things. And 20 II go1eI
Cañon City record., 1899-04-06
ABOUT MANKIND.

The average weight of man in the
latitude of New York is 140 pounds. of
2 woman 125.
The average weight of a mans brain
Is three pounds and eight ounces; of .
woman's slightly less, but, of course
Figure this out. A drop of blood will
travel 61.S20 miles year. In eighty
four years blood corpuscle would
travel 5.150.80S miles.
In Kentucky and Vermont and in
Minnesota, where most immigrants are
scandinavians. the average height of .
man is an inch or SO greater.
Lunatics are smaller than sane peo-
pie and are seldom fat. On the other
hand, centenarians are also generally
smail-boned and lean.
The blood completes its circuit
through the body in twenty-five sec
onds. and in three minutes every drop
passes through the heart and lungs and
Is revitalized
The average height of Americans has
been about feet for men. feet 4
for women. The average has unques-
tionably been lowered by immigration
Of small races, like the Italian.
For that matter. reasonably active
man walks about 1900 miles-more
than ten times the earth's circumferr
snce-in eighty-four years. just trot-
ting about his house and ONCE.
t..
Cañon City record., 1899-04-06
ron MECHANICAL MINDS.

A handy tool for carpenters use Is
Z naii-holder. for starting nails in cor
ners and places where the fingers cam
not hold them easily. q steel punch
having pair of jaws attached to its
face to grasp the nail and hold It while
the hammer is driving IL.
Shears and scissors are to be made
with ball bearings. the washer at tho
end OF the connecting rivet being cut
out on the under side to form ball
race, which not only decreases the
wear on the rivet. but securely holds
tie cutting edges together.
A Canadian has patented an improv-
ed method of unloading ships, the hold
having slanting bottoms. which guide
the freight toward openings in central
wells. in which buckets or other hoist
ing apparatus are mounted to lift the
freight to the deck and discharge 1t.
Letters and other postal matter can
be weighed on handy little pencil
attachment. metal tube being placed
at the rear end. carrying spring and
sliding rod inside. the latter having .
hook at the end to hold the letter,
which draws the spring down and In
dicates the weight.
Ground is easily thawed for mining
operations by the use OF q new appar-
atus having stove mounted on .
sled. with a boiler over the firebox,
the water being heated and discharged
in the form of steam to a thawing
chamber. which is placed over the
ground to be loosened.
In new form of drawbridge the
steel arch Is mounted on trucks to b.
drawn across steel girder onto the
hxed span. the outer end Of the arch
lifting the central span Of the bridge
and carrying 1t back far enough to
leave q clear channel between the
piers.
Cañon City record., 1899-04-06
BEST LONDON TIT BITS.

Mrs. Fogg-You've been naughty
boy. and l shall have to tell your
father. Johnny-H'm! Just like b
woman! Can't keep secret
PLUCK is the secret Of success ON
the stock exchange. well. I'll give
you 5000 II you'll teach me your
method of plucking."
Aiice-Men are SO slow! 1t took him
nearly two hours to propose to me
last night. Maud-How long did II
take you to accept him. deari Alice
Just two seconds!
Miss StillEirl (sobbing)-I think It's
awfully mean! That hQrrid Quill siri
Cañon City record., 1899-04-06
ussLEss ,NroRMArIoN.

The Chinese fish with birds.
Tho wasp made the nrst paper.
The curious custom Of taxiug boards
prevails In certain districts Of Japan.
Tte large guns Of modern navies are
worn out after they have been ussd
about seventy-hve times.
Dromedaries are capable Of going
tight miles an ho,,r for ten or twelve
hours without q load.
The empress Of China carries with
her 5000 dresser when she travels.
These nil coo boxes. and are taken care
Of by 1900 coolies.
Cañon City record., 1899-04-06

eeally speaking. they possess greater
Influence And are more lavishly blsssee
With the wsrlk's soods than their
British or AAerican rivala. From -
very beginning they suBseod under -
RESTRICTIONS n procuring imported -
hor, whereas the other whites ~
many years vsrs proh1bttsd frun
equivalent rlGAts. Thus luJtng co..
siderable psrior the 0srmAas In eanses
enjoyed ! practical nono1eay. whaea
proved the foundation q their sxposs
krada fefs
Cañon City record., 1899-04-06

has been saying that paint. Miss
Meanness-N Never mind. dear sx-
pect II she had your complexion she'd
paint. too.
An Australian paper contains an sd-
vertisement Of an enterprising trades-
man who. at the end OF 1t. announces:
"Miutsters supplied with goods II
cost price, II they agree 70 mention the
fact to their congregation"
Cañon City record., 1899-04-06

Samoa may be likened to . cauldron
In which ssyeral conflicting eiements
seefhe and strive for mastery. This
has been the normal condition Of the
Islands sin. they became known to
the civilized world. says the Fortnight
iy Review. Dpring the last few years
there has been reign Of Onward ana
comparative calm. but this is now
threatened with rude termination. 1t
would be unfair to tax either the ma
tiyes or any one OF the three protect
ing powers with sole responsibility for
such denouement-the natural se-
quence Of such an inappropriate and
artificial system Of government which
has only bean tolerated thus long be-
cause anything seemed preferable to
changes likely to reawaken dormant
jealousies. CRISIS having arisen,
Germany. ~ usual. appeared best pre-
pared to mset It: but. contrary to
general expectation. she has. as ten
years ago. faltered to take full advan-
tage of her opportunities. Whether
this hesitation should b. credited TO
treaty scruples or apprehsnsions OF
foreign opposition. 1t would be vain 70
inquire. Yet At the same time II IL
well to remember that Germany has at
present at her command In Polypesian
waters q naval squadron of quite un-
usual strength. strangely rsminiscent.
both as regards power and occasion.
Of the concentration Of 1883. which was
intended to hasten Samoan annexation.
but ended only In disaster and total
wreck.
Samoa is quite capable Of supplying
AL the immediate needs OF her chill
dren. even In their present state Of
quasi-refinement- Although Christian
ity Is general, and the Samoans re
being gradually weaned from their
primitive customs. their progress to-
ward 'civilixation"-as understood By
the trader--is lapientably slow. FAM
lily pride and objection to sustained Ia
Dor are the Samoans' equivalent for
caste. They are gastronomes after =
fashion. but the luxuriant vsgetat.er
and fertility Of their lands. together
with the many products sf their pro-
lifc waters. provide every necessary
for . weil-nonrished and hsalthful ex-
istence. For ali clothing. also. which
IL essential on the score Of climate.
decoration or decency. 6amoa Is suf-
ficient to the samoans. Tonga" or
ins mats. are precious hsiriooms. and
scarcely less valuable In, native esti-
nation are the laya-lavas OF 'saipc."
the cloth made Of the inner bark Of
the paper mulberry tree. which. with
garlands OF berries and sweet-smeiiing
nowsrn. serve ~ CEREMONIAL attire
The white residents IN Upolu--for
that is the only island in which they
settle. except ~ occasional units-sei-
dom exceed <30 in number. About 50
per cent are British subjects. Engiish
or colonial born, not few being
'beachcombsrs" Of the types familiar
to readers Of Action. and consequently
meritins bot slight regard In the
councils Of the motherland- others
have achieved more OF less success ~
owners or managers Of plantations.
while . third and considerable section
share with IL membsss Of other ~
sisnalitiss ssansction with the ApiA
seorsa. The 0srmans resident In ~
- a0saahng nDlE ahonnh w., -haas. -
Cañon City record., 1899-04-06
ws-... q s,a~

Ths fortunate women q oaan Aays
Q diRsrsnt gown for saaA day n ~
week, and the rule governing tAs
came must b. strictly followed. Sun
day, dedicated to the suA, demands .
rcd gown. With rubiss fes ornansatA
Monday. the moon day. AAa silver -
white. with mccnstoaes, Tuesdays
Mars. scarles: Wednesday. the day -
Mercury. huntsr's grssa. with smsr-
aids: Thursday. Jupitsr's day. demands
varisgatsd tants. with esk's eyes. m
DAY. Venus. light blus. ~ dianoaAss
saturday. Saturn. dark h1ns and -
phirss.
Cañon City record., 1899-04-06
NATIVES OF SAMOA!
coNFLicTINo ELEM TO
sTRIvE FOR THE MASTERY.

Not GOOD Essid FOR Tradsrs--Fsepss
Are esassrousnss. with Fixed OBJ
tsetisn - Sustained Iesor--0srna.s
shs Moss Prcspsroas Of SossisnsSa q
Cañon City record., 1899-04-06
PEOPLE TALKED ABOUT.

The king of Italy, although the head
of the greatest wine-producing coun-
tries. is almost an abstainer.
The ex-Empress Eugene has some
Hibernian blood in her veins. being
the descendant OF an Irish soldier Of
fortune who made . name for him.
self in Spain.
Miss Kitty Reed. the speakers good
looking daughter, is on the house pay
roll, receiving $500 annually for serv-
ices rendered as stenographsr to her
father
w. s. Gilbert cultivates other things
besides the muse Of poetry. He is an
amateur agriculturist and takes great
delight in his Jersey cows. Of which
he is very proud.
The Princess Louise, marchioness
Of Lorne, has had the rather uncom-
mon experience Of having three moth
ers-in-law during her married life
her husbands father. the dixie Of Ar
gyil, having been married tArss times.
RAkcHMEN
We are just unloading car OF
Nebraska White Seed Oats-Call and
get our prices. 12tf
Handy & McGee Ner. Co.
Cañon City record., 1899-04-06

New stock of guitars and mandolins
at Whipple's
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-01-13
IN NEED OF GENTLEMEN.
breckenridge Says Army Has Been
Injured in Eyes OF People,

Washington, Jan. 12.-Inspeetor General
Joseph c. Breckenridge of the army,
speaking tonight on Gen. Eagan's testi-
mony before the war investigating com
mittee, replied to that portion which re-
ferred to Gen. Breckenridge's activity in
prosecuting the beef investigation.
Gen. Eagan says Breckenridge had no
authority TO make this investigation with
out orders from the Secretary of War.
Referring to this. Gen. Breckenridge said
that as he understood the matter he was
simply carrying out his duties, though he
admitted that he understood the legal
point Gen. Eagan was making.
Il have been sending letters to all the
inspectors general in the country asking
them whether they received any of the
bad beef" Gen. Breckenridge SAID, land
1 have also written to the surgeon gen
eral, whose reply 1 received to-day. This
have done at the order of Gen. Miles,
my superior officer and I believe that
am promptly carrying out my duty. Gen.
Eagan seems to think that 1 must re-
ceive my orders from Secretary Alger. but
I do not think he is right"
In this connection the Post tomorrow
will print the following interview with
Gen. Breckenridge:
Il will tell you what is The trouble"
Gen. Breckenridge said. What We need in
the war department is a set of gentlemen.
I'm every war that this country has had
we have found that the department. was
cot a unit with the army, but a. sort of
segregated factor working out its indie
pendent power. Headed by the Secretary
of War, a cabinet officer, he department
has become filed, at least partly So with
q coterie of men who cling to each other,
held together by the bond of mutual inter
est, and are thus forced into a position
which becomes one of open hostility to the
rank and file of the army
THAT is the trouble now. Take these
men a the war department such men as
Eagan. If he were the gentleman he
ought to be, such a disgraceful situation
as the one with which we are now con-
fronted could never have arisen. l believe
this Eagan affair is one of profound seri-
business. 1t Injuries the army in the eyes
of the American peop,e, and il Injuries the
American people in the. eyes of the world"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-01-13
sERENADED THEIR CHIEFS.
McDermOtt and Reilly Remembered
by Members of the Police Force.

McDermOtt and Reilly Remembered
by Members of the Police Force.
A delegation of police, headed by
brass band, called at the residence of Chief
McDermott last night, on Harris street,
west, and rendered him a serenade in
honor OF his reelection. The great sat-
isfaction Chief McDermott's success has
afforded the members of the force attests
the esteem in which he is held by them
individually.
Sergt. Deignan, Policemen McQuade,
McCooi and others went to the chiefs res
idence shortly after s o'clock, headed by
a brass band and for some time things
were merry In the vicinity. The boys
seemed to take the victory to themselves.
The fact that Chief McDermott came out
with the next best vote given to any ap-
plicant was reason for additional pride,
which the men did not hesitate 10 MANI
fest.
As 1t was not the first time Chief Nc
DermOtt had been serenaded, however, he
was not taken by surprise. He knew the
wer wished to know how he felt over his
victory, and while he did not allude to pol
itics in the course of his remarks, he ex-
pressed his qualification at again being
successful, and assured them 1t was by
their cooperation that he had been ena-
bled to bring the department to its pres
ent state of efficiency. He expressed the
high regard he had for every man on the
force and wound up by inviting them TO
share the hospitality of his home. Within
the visitors remained some time chatting
pleasantly enjoying refreshments and
having a good time generally.
Chief McDermott feels proud Of the rela-
ton that obtains between him and the
members OF his department. While there
is a friendship equal to that enjoyed by
the head of any department with men I'M
der him, still the lire of duty is clearly
drawn, and departure from it, which is
seldom the case, calls for the strict en-
forcement of the departments rules.
Lieut.. owen f.. Reilly was another can
didate for reelection by the City Council.
who will not leave a rlderless horse in the
police station barn. After the first sere-
made the men we're not mindless of the
popular Assistant Chief of Police and pro-
ceeded to his home on Lincoln street.
where they remained some time. After
the band had played several pieces the
visitors were received by Lieut.. Reilly.
whom they congratulated on his success
in getting into the department without OPP
position.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-01-13
SEVERAL ADDRESSES READ.
commission Men Have an interest
ms Session at New Orleans.

oi"Mi>sion Mem Have an Interest,"
ms Session at New Orleans.
pa" Oceans La, Jan 12.-The commits
COB aoH'a convention was in session to-
liH Papers were read by A. V. swatey of
1'l't selmer, Tex; H. EHinghausen, of
An"a'bte; S. s. Darmon, of Philadelphia;
". Az Banks and Lewis Erb of Memphis.
~ adon was received from San An
King that The next convention of
10 'aele be held there.
'N5 ihe afternoon the entire partv
Nua'mette, the famous New Or
te.S underground.
O'5A' SESSION opened with the read
paper by &. b. Branch of Omaha
we growing fast enough: is
IN numbers better than in prin-
-.' necessities of the bour in tbeir 10
+s.. 10 me fruit and produce trade"
~, ly.e OF a paper by c. w. Davidson
NV Orleans. % -'''s''i
81 BRYANT of Minneapolis read an al.
r. OI cutting commissions; is #
59tlNe3 is it necessary? what can
asae do 70 prevent it?''
i7a OIL annual reports were road
~. 4g.ed on. The secretarv's ro,,ort
to'u la1t there were 263 membors ond
ia, me7,t ''s oSS'cidt-on, with $40 individ-
M Ia tho various branches
ia m. 10 The party were escorted
opera house tonight.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-01-13
HAD LITTLE BUSINESS.
County Commissioners Held a Brief
Meeting.

Meeting.
The January meeting of the County
Commissioners yesterday afternoon Twas
short, little besides routine business COM
ing before the meeting. Chairman j. j.
Dale was absent, but the other members
Commissioners Lathrop, Guckenheimer
Lyons and Simkins, were present.
Bills 10 the amount OF SIS, 1925 were re-
ported approved by the committee on ac-
counts and were passed for payment.
The matter of the request of the Board
of Education to have $4,000 of the school
appropriation for the year placed at its
disposal, was not brought before the
meeting.y
The following constables, who were re-
Gently elected, appeared before the board
and qualified by taking the oath of office
Daniel J. Kiley, First district; L. B. En-
dres and NJ. L. Lilienthal Second district
II. T. Beckett, Fourth district Joe Brown
colored Fifth district; William Nelson
Jr., Sixth district.
Superintendent Chap.in's report for the
month just ended showed there were 250
convicts in the county camps Jan. l. Capt
John r. Dillon filed his bond as clerk of
the board.
ior damages for a horse killed by falling
through hole in a bridge on the Augusta
road in May, 1897. He placed the value of
the horse at $50. The. commissioners
thought Smith somewhat dilatory in filing
his claim, but referred the matter to the
county attorney
Sherman Smith. colored, also appeared
before the board 10 claim damages for the
same amount for his horse, which was
also killed on the Augusta road in a
similar manner The horse did not fail
through bridge, however, but broke its
leg by stepping in a hole in the road about
a mile beyond Montcith. County Attor-
ney Saussy stated that the county was
not liable for loss incurred by
reason Of the condition of the
roads, the law requiring the peo-
pie living on and contiguous TO the
roads to keep them in condition. The
county is liable, he said, for accidents re-
sulting from the bad condition of bridges.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-01-13
WILL BE A VACANCY.
Justice Russell to Resign as MnEis-

Justice Russell TO Resign as MnEis-
trate.
Mi Waring Russell. Jr., who was sworn
in yesterday as clerk of the City Court.
said to Morning News reporter that he
viii resign his position as a justice of the
peace of the Second district as soon as he
can wind up che business which he now
has on hand. This he thinks. win be
about Feb. /.
There will he no lack Of applicants to
succeed Justice Russell. The position is
filed by appointment of the judge Of the
Superior Court on recommendation of the
grand jury. Several of the young attor-
ueys of the city are said to have their
eyes on the job. Mr.. G. Noble Jones is
said 10 be a prospective applicant and
the name Of Mr.. Thomas L. Hin is also
mentioned
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-01-13

A Small Boys scheme.-"Joey worked
a game on Santa Claus"
What was itY
"He wrote two letters asking for two
trains of cars"
"Why did he need two2'
"He wanted to have a collision. Chi
cago Record.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-01-13
TO RETURN TO HOUSTON.
Howard to he Taken Back
10 TcXns for TrInI.

New York, Jan. 12.-An official of the
National Surety Company of this city, and
a sergeant of police OF Houston. Tex, were
al police headquarters to arrange for the
removal of Grin G. Howard, former cash
Ter of the Gulf Colorado and Santa Fe
Railroad Company, who lived at Houston,
Tex, to that city.
Howard is charged with absconding from
Houston in November 1897, with 5000 of
the railroad $ money. Last October he
abandoned his fine clothes and applied for
a 81 okers job in the hot boiler rooms of a
slow-going oil steamer bound for Germany
Finding no work in BremeR ne went to
stettin, where he was forced to apply at
the doors of the workhouse, his body
clothed in rags, and weak from hunger.
There he was found by Police Sergeant
Ericsson oe Houston.
Howard had seen enough of the life he
was leading, and willingly returned with
the officer, arriving here Monday last. He
will leave for Houston on Friday.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-01-13

From the New Orleans Times-Democrat'
81 have Just come from New York" said
f. L. Hnard OF New Orleans land l
am looking for bets on the outcome of
Mrs. Moore's trial 1t Is a sure thing to
wager that she win be found guilty..
and ri ten YOU why-because that
badger game has grown so prevalent in
the metropolis that public sentiment IS in
favor of somebody being made an example
Of II is a fact, yet hardly credible, that
that particular crime has appreciably in
jured the business interests of the great
city. New York's merchants have a hard
fight ahead of them If they are going to
retain the trade Of certain sections, and the
game has caught 50 many, so very many
buyers and proprietors from the provinces
that an astonishing strong feeling of re-
sentiment against the town and its people
has been created These victims are turn
ing TO Chicago and the West. IL is a lit
tie thing, il is true, but 1t counts in the
battle for continued commercial suprema-
cy that the metropolis is now waging.
"And another reason is that provincials
are not the only victims of the sirens
Many and many Gothemite falls into the
tolls as we'll
The who,e town wants to see somebody
receive a taste of the law. And as the
workers of the game are so hard to ap
prehend, for obvious reasons, Gotham feels
certain that another chance like the pres
ent one will be a long time coming"
This same opinion was recently expressed
in Atlanta by Mr.. St Stephens Of New
York. who said ne had been a close attend
ant upon the trial and had talked with hun
drcds of people about the principals. He,
too. declared that both Moore and his
wife would be sent TO Sing Sing, if for no
other reason than the fact that New York
wanted a victim.