davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
NO JOKE TO PLAYoN a LADY
The Trick Looking-Glass played 10
Cleveland. ~

In rle Colonial arcade, near the
Euclid avenue entrance, a large mirror
placed at such an angle that 1t reflects
objects from the opposite direction.
That Is. IL you look in and see a street
car coming apparently from down the
street il Is In reality coming up the
street. or course It has to be looked
at from the proper angle, and IL the
glance is only hurried one the illusion
Is perfect
Some time ago a lady of a rather
fussy appearance was waiting near the
arcade entrance. She evidently want
ed car going east, because every few
minutes she would hurry to the doors
and peer down the street. Presently
she happened to glance in the mirror.
Then she gave q start and ran out TO
the sidewalk and glanced down the
highway.
where is itfr she cried.
Just then car going vets rumbled
by, and the woman stared at 1t and
then turned and looked back suspicious
ly at the tricky mirror. There were
two or three men standing In the en-.
trance and they coulun't help smiling
at her fidgety actions.
She detected the smiles.
That's no joke to play on a lady,
she said with much haughtiness, then
turned abruptly and stalked down the
street.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
THE cYNlc.


1t requires a cool hand to deliver
fee.
Some men are known by the company
they don't keep.
The chimney IS one Of the few smok-
ers that is easily sooted.
Women are usually in hopeless ma
jority at the summer resorts.
The seventeen year iocusts should
come under the head OF time flies.
Man once ate the cream, but now
they cremate the man.
To the deaf and dumb man actions
speak louder than words.
In the game OF life the one armed
man always plays a lone hand.
There is no sympathy between proud
mind and a beggar's purse.
The sexton makes a grave mistake
when he digs it in the wrong lot.
Always pay your milliman spot cash.
Never request him to 'chalk It up
Beauty is natures first gift TO wo-
man. and it is the first one she loses.
The man who doesn't put his hand IA
the pillow will get none OF the plow-
shares.
The man who is Swallowed is apt Ia
have good deal Of light cast on his
character.
A good housewife never wastes good
bread by trying to transform 1t into
bread pudding
A physician practices on his own pa
TENTS; an amateur musician practices
on the patience Of others.
Large heads do not always indicate
genius. Too often they are monuments
OF the previous nights foolishness.
The Young man who can take pref.
ty girl for q sail and content himsei.
with hugging the shore has wonderful
sclf-control. Chicago News.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
vTvl EwAs MisteAo aYA DREAM
zee VIZ.

Henry-Of course. st is no tsusiness
of mine. but since y,yu have changed
doctors the neghbors have noticed that
your wife has been constantly growing
worse.
Slapford-I know. but then this ply
stefan is ever so much cheaper than
the other one.-Boston 4 transcript
what pity" said he first germ
as he chung franticaily to a window
sash as they went aro,hnd a curve.
that in sleeping cars we have no op-
portunities."
isn't it," said his cor upanton dss-
pondently. "a great field IT. only we had
air enough 10 get about in.'--Life.
Mrs. Klddlet-why. children. what's
all this noise about2
Little Jamie--We've had gran'pa and
Uncle Henry locked up in the cupboard
for an hour. an when they get a little
angrier I'm going 20 play going into
the lions cage.'-Tid Bits.
Pedagogue Iseverely)-Now. sir. for
the last time, what's the square Of the
hypothenuse of a rig1t-angled triangle
equivalent to2
Boy (desperately)-It's equivalent to
a lickin' fer me. sir. Go ahead.-.Boston
Traveller.
Il am going to take a little run out
west" said a Kansas man TO an ac-
quaintanee.
colorado or Californian" inquired
the acquaintance.
Neither" scornfully replied the
Kansas man. "Manila."-Kansas City
Journal.
pat" said his yosng wife. II wish
you wouldn't put your knife in your
mouth when you eat"
"An' phere would yez hev me put Il. -
said Pat in astonishment-"in me
eyes? "-Harper's Bazaar.
Vaudeville manager-I am going to
leave my money to arr institute for the
feeble minded.
Legitimate managei'-Same kind as
you are running now?-Indianapolis
Journal.
Firat Guatemalan-.she comes OF an
old family. / believe.
Second Guatemalan--Not very. She's
q Daughter of the Last Revolution but
Two. or Three at the outside.-Detroit
Journal.
Have you been interviewed recent
ly?" inquired the friend.
The man OF international eminence
looked a little hurt and then YEARLY
inquired:
How can I washington Star.
Tramp--I amt had er bite Ter tree
days. Jes' ben Twin on wind.
Unsympathetlc citize n--Well, why
don't you go out west where there's
plenty Of it?-Ohio State Journal
The ldd--Say, mister. kin / have de
apples wot's on de ground?
The farmer-They amt none on the
ground
The Idd--Ill fix that all right.-New
York Evening Journal.
Lady Of the house Ito peddler)--Ii
you do not go away I'll whistle for the
dog.
Pushing peddler-Then let me sell
you a whistle, mum.-Tit-Bits.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27

lie grasped her around the waist
and tried to kiss her They romped
through the room, upsetting chairs and
hric-a-brac, and She glgglcd and he
flushed
At last fearing that his strength
WAS about to give out she almost stood
still, and lie gave her q smack
Then an angry frown oyerspread her
beautul counfcnance, as she fnced
him. SAYING
"Oh. you Spaniard"
why do you call me thatg he ask
ed.
gether Il my ear hadn't been therer'
she Kissed s
After that he knew his chances wen,
exceedingly slim. Cleveland LEADER
Evening journal., 1899-12-27


The 300-pound man was doing his
hhst to get through the row Of crowded
'eats to the chair which his own
coupon called for. Naturally he found
iitiiculty In making his way over all
sorts OF humanity, and he had such
4 time that nearly every one in the
theatre stopped watching the play TO
look at the performance in the audi
ancc
suddenly he stepped on the foot of n
small man who was trying TO hide
himself behind a pair OF opera glasses.
"Demme, sir, can't you see my feetf"
aApostulated the little man In a loud
whisper.
Impossible, SIR replied the fat
man, stopping for an instant as he pre-
aperd to sit down. You're got your
shoes on" Washington. Post.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
MS Strange Resemblance.

A certain farmer, who is by no
means noted for his resemblance to
Apollo, has son OF seven. who pos
sesses more with than pedigree. One
lay stranger came to the farm and.
seeing the lad. asked.
sonny, where's your fatherT'
I'm the pig pen,' was the reply.
I'm the pig pen? Thanks
And, as the man moved Ia the di.
rection Indicated. the boy shouted
Il say. You'll know him, cause he's
got q hat ong'-Tit-Blts.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
THE BACHELOR.

Money doesn't make the mare go
half rs fast as IL makes itself go.
The .happiest moments OF a woman's
life are when she thinks sadly OF the
joyous past.
A girl can't endure a man II he kisses
her and the next time he meets her
doesn't act awed and solemn.
When a girl says she means never to
get married II is time to think OF what
kind Of wedding present you can't af-
ford 10 buy
II some women have hole in their
stocking It makes them feel uncom-
Portable to pass a certain man. even II
ghey are all bundled up IN carriage
4obcs
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
Cot tho Best Of the Pawnbroker,

A good joke is recorded on a down
town pawnbroker. He rushed into his
place one morning last week when II
was rather chilly and laid a spring
overcoat on the counter. not noticing
a negro standing there. A clerk emerg'
ed from behind a partition a few mo-
ments later and asked the negro what
he wanted. The negro laid his hand
on the coat and said, What will you
lend me on thisy'
The clerk examined It infinitely and
replied, 1.-TWO dollars"
The negro was satisfied and receiv.
ing the 81 departed, nd when he had
gone the pawnbroker came into the
store again and demanded his coat
The clerk said he had not seen II, caus-
ing the owner TO exclaim: why
there 1t is, back there" pointing TO the
clerks desk.
That" yelled the clerk. why / just
loaned a negro 81 on it, and boti
made a dash out Of the door to catch
the fellow.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27


Schedule In eftecs November 49, 1899
Hrqine leave Wilmington az followE
for fntladelphla (eNpresa)i 1.57, 3.o2, 10.
1;sSt ~ L5e $50. SIS, 2% 80, io:oss 1912.
tA 6oi GOT. go. s.b7. z2S. s.o6 and si5
Accommodation. $40. ITO. s.i4. u.os a.
m, 2.20, ga, 400 526 and 1913 p. N
For Chester lexpreasl, LII, 40, $50. la,
,'se' sso ssS 1893 LIS. u,%s HAS a. m.
"a s sSS so 'Si io ana sio SOs r %
m. ~ 80 2,51, 400. $40. $50 and 1913 p. m
For New York Through express), l57,
.l2le (Dihins Carl, is7 Dining Carr. all
COZ ''6.3o Dining Carr. 1923 and GIG D. m;
Connecting via broad Street station.
io.b2 a. M m: 1886 IA AZ si FL 3Ss s sSs
60l, l,2a, g.l6 and l0.43 D. m.
For Boston without change 1919 a. m.;
Fof Newark Center and intermediats
stations 1.sl a. m, and 0.S6 p. m.
Baltimore and Washington, 4.25. 500
it0 s5o sss $50 H sse 1os 7s n II liz o.
NJ and i05 night.
Baltimore md intermediate stations,
232, &.43, $50 p. m; 1900 night.
Leave hiladeiphia, Broad Street for
Wilmington texpress) A5o l.2o; rs, ss2,
io;.9 lbs il:sz q M 'l2ss' ils i52' si2'
Ia, nld. ii.2e >. m, and 1920 night.
Accom- odation, IA. lS0, 912. 1895 am.
i;2ss an. tN ~. 6li. e-21. sss, 1929 and
SUNDAY TRAINS.
For philadelphia (expreaH), La, a02 40
S.t5. 9.35, eM. f052 11.45 a. m; 1871 400.
ass 6.07, 80, eO6 and o.16 r. m.
Accommodation. ITO. SIS a. m: 1914,
go. 400, 5.26. 7.eS and 1913 p. m.
fof Chester texprcss), l.b1. 40, 81 IS, li.f5
a. m. F; i.S7l 800, f.6S. sol and sos D. m
Accommoda tion, 40, $50 a. M, l2A,
200. 400, .626, 7.2S and 1913 D. m.
l'or New York (througn express) l57.
3Q2 93J DINING Carl, s.55, l0.52. Las Il. m.
i7 Dining Carl, 400. COZ. ss6.20, Dining
Carl. 7.23. Ole p. M. connecting via Broad
Street station, Philadelphia, 40 ITO, SIS
2. N. i.97 400, 400, as, e.o7. ia and io.45
FOR Boston, without change, ~ p. m
l0.iS a. m; 1905. 1918, 80 800, SIS, ss6i0
SAG I.3c, Aii p. No.. and LOS night.
baltimore and intermediate stations, 5.57
D. m. 200 night,
Leave Philadelphia, Broad street. Tor
Wilmington fexpness). $50. no il.23 il39
a. m. l.13, 3.l2, Al. sos, sos. $50. 13l, S3J,
li.ld, i.M p. M. and 1870 night
Accommodation, 8.35. g.i2. 1885 a. M.
1910. a3e. 6.i3. 8.2S and 1870 p. m.
FOR THE SOUTH
Southern Raiiway.--C.46 p. H., daily,
seepera 70 New Orlesifs 4 ken, Memphis,
and I0mpa 7.S6 y. m. daily sleepers 10
Ashcyult and Hot springs.
Atlantic Coast Line.-l2.l3 p. m, daily.
slocpers 10 Charleston. Jacksonville, Port
Tampa and Macon; Il 50 night daily.
seepers 10 Richmond and Jacksonville.
Cheeapeak A. Ohio Railway, Sill D. m
daily dining car, and sleepers TO cincin-
natl
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
The Fate Of the Impractical.

Are you trying to be famous.
oh, youth with lofty brow?
Are you living In the future
All neglectful OF the Now
Are you toiline in the cloudlands
Ger a long and rugged way.
All unconscious of the comforts
or three good square meals a day?
How will the world reward you?
Some pedant grim win Turk
To prove your best achievements
Were another fellows work
Perhaps you'll be remembered
In story or In song.
They may write your name in public,
But they'll mostly spell II wrong.
Washington star
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
Not a Musician.

South side maiden, "has Uncle George
gone to heaven
Il hope so. DEAR replied mamma.
"And viii he play on a harpY
"Why. we arc taught that tho good
people who get TO heaven play on harps
my child"
The terrible infant gave a sniff.
"Wen, 'twOn't he no good" she scorn-
fully said. Cousin Willie says Uncle
George couldn't even play a jewsharp
for shucks. Chicago News.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
RAILRoAns

WILMINGTON AND NORTHERN
RAILROAD COMPANY.
Time table in effect November IS, 1899.
Trains leave Wilmington (Frcnch street
sfatlOn) for Elsmere. juno. Mon tchan1n,
Winterthur, Guyencourt GranoEue, Cos
sart, Chadd's Ford juno ton, Pocopson,
Wcqt Chester. Embreeville. Mortonville
Coatesville. and Intermediate stations,
daily. except Sunday. at 5.36 a. m, 10
and 4.50 p. N, Sunday only. SOC a. N,
215 and $50 p. m
For Waynesburg Junction. Elverson
and Intermediate stations daily except
Sunday. at 7.s5 a. M. =, 10 and 400 D. IN
Sunday only OF 500 a. m. Fit and $3.50
| p. m.
gsrmelilte stdtlons, daily. excepF Sunday
at 7.S5 2. m and 2.1R .. q. Sunday only
1905 a. n. and 215 ,. u,
A. g. ACAQS1ANp, Supariater csni-
BoWEESs BRIGGS. Gzn. Pass kEent.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
WASHINGTON
HOLIDAY TOUR VIA PENNsYL
WANNA RAILROAD.

vANIA RAILROAD.
December 2s has been selected as the
date for the PERSONAL---VERY. ucted
Holiday Tour of the Pennsylvania
railroad TO Washington. This tour will
cover a period Of three days, affording
ample time to visit all the principal
points Of interest at the National Capt.
tai, including the Congressional Ii
brary and the new Corcoran Art Gal
lery. Round-trip rate, covering rail-
road transportation for the round trip,
hotel accommodations, and guides,
s1450 from New York, 1880 from
Trenton. and S11.50 from Philadelphia.
These rates cover accommodations for
two days at the Arlington. Normandie,
Riggs or Ebbitt House, For accommo-
dations at Wizards, Regent, Metro
politan or National Hotel, $3.50 less.
Side trips TO Mount Vernon, Richmond.
Old Point Comfort and Norfolk at
greatly reduced rates.
All tickets good for ten days, with
special hotel rates after expiration Of
hotel coupons.
For itineraries and full information
apply to Ticket Agents; Tourist Agent,
1196 Broadway, New York; Court
Street, Brooklyn; or address Geo. w.
Boyd, Assistant General Passenger
Agent, Broad Street Station, Philadel-
phia.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27

Unison. who had just won the CAPT
tai prize Of $4,000 in a foreign lot
tory. on bring notified the same day Of
raise in salary Of $50 a month. said
'Ye gods. how | could have enjoyed
This if | hadn't made that strike in
,he lottery"
Evening journal., 1899-12-27

1--WE done my best" said the Indian,
ito adapt myself to the modern civil.
cation. But / can't manage it,
"You go about it the wrong way,
answered the sympathetic white man.
when you feel that old impulse for a
wild collision with somebody what you
want to do is to come of the war path
and get on the bicycle path"
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
Just rs Represented.

Il thought you said this property
was only n couple Of steps from the
Post cthceg" said the prospective
buyer.
III is responded the ever-resource-
ful real estate agent you step or an
electric car here and step on at the
Post Office That's only two steps.
see7'-Ohio State Journal
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
A WILLOW GROVE 1NCTnENT

Willow Grove, Dec. 27.-Charles S.
Tribbitt imbibed in too much Christ
mas on Monday and after terrorizing
the inhabitants was arrested and tried
to put in fear the magistrate who was
about to commit him. Tribbitt was
taken before Magistrate Tennessee
Gooden. whom he threatened to LAY
low for il he was not easy on him.
Tho magistrate deemed this an addi-
tional offense and Tribbltt was sent 10
Dover Jail
Evening journal., 1899-12-27

Oficer No. Ives; I ran in that
woman thief very easy. though she
was disguised IN mems clothes.
Officer No. blow did you do il?
Officer No. Lob. by following out
sherlock Holiness system OF observa-
lion. I noticed she walked right past
saloon door and then stood for ten
minutes with her nose glued TO the
oane Of millinery show window.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27

"John.' said a Topeka wife to her
husband, 81 viii quit drinking tea and
save the war tax if you do the same
with beer" Woman" he responded
with cold severity, do you think 1t is
the part Of patriotism to abandon your
country in its time of perilT- kan
sas City Journal.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
NJ MINul.G M

NEXT MINUTE MAY MEAN
DEArH.--lf the heart lutters. palpi-
tates OF tires easily. you may be next
door to sudden death and not know II.
Dr. Agnew's Cure Tor the Heart gives
instant relief and cures. The pains
about my heart were so severe that /
could hardly breathe. I thought I must
die. One dose of Dr. Agnew's Cure for
the Heart gave me perfect relief inside
Of 20 minutes. few bottles cured. /
firmly believe It saved my life. Mr..
John Jameson, Tara. Onk-e1. Sold
by Miller Drug Co.. 400 Market, and N.
B. Danforth, Market ana Second streets.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
GntherInr Infor1natIon.

"And these places where you vote"
said the gentleman from Europe, you
coll them the polls
YES" answered the North Carolina
,itlzen. I'VE call 'em that But the
warmth around here makes 'em seem
I good deal more like equators."
Evening journal., 1899-12-27

DETIAAAIiII IlIV ISIONlT
Sos ,. m. feek days. - 81
Tor a.ewes siS a m,fas7 , m.. VISA
Tor hDd,er .hArrinxtok and beama-
kib ffOi O.. m; AZ. 668aind 1Ail p. -.
Sundays, 1911 ~ m.
toE M,yeEhlng ana wqy lstations, 2s5 ,
iixpress ftr hcape Charles, OLD folna
Comfort and NorfoiklN 1l.0t az M Wen
DAYS, and l2u ndght, dairy
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
Knsw whst wa. Want.d.

AID old lady entered The big depart
'a,ent store. She walked to one Of the
COUNTERS II want to get something
lor boy Of TO- she said.
slipper counter, two aisles 10 the
light" snapped the salesgirl, and the
Did lady walked over
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
Too MANY WORKERS.

Philandor- Instead OF going around
ma begging, why don't you 80 to work
md earn your living? I believe you
ion't want TO work.
The Bum-Say. boss. there's so many
others workin' that ! don't see as il
would be Important whether I help 'em
1r not
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
Before and After.

Before a flaD's married he's dude:
after marriage he's subdued. Before
marriage he has no buttons on his
shirt; after marriage he has no shirt
Before marriage he sWears he would
not marry the best woman IN the
world after marriage he finds that he
hasn't.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
SANTA CLAUS has A FALL.

Frederick. Dec e7 William Mere
dith. Of Frederick. ~sa impersonating
Santa Claus at . big Christmas enter
tainment in the Town Hail. and climb
ed the tree to get the presents. The
topmost Dough broke and Kriss fell to
the stage. almost paralyzing himself.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
Given Herself Away.

Caller-Has your daughter made her
aebut yet Mrs. Greens
Mrs. Green--d don't think She has.
She isn't obliged 20 make her own
things. YOU know We can afford 10
lnv the best. III
Evening journal., 1899-12-27

To Live in Hearts We Leave Behind.
did fillmore make any dying re-
questT'
Yes. he said he didn't care for a
monument, but be would like TO have
n pancake flour named after him.
CHICAGO Record.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
wnAr no Yon wANr1

Advertise your wants in the Evening
Journal. Employment wanted. help
wanted. to let tor tent for safe. board
ing. and lost and found ads. wiz BE- pub
lisAsd. thrjs lines. one time. yot . dime /;
thrae tines for q ouafrsf.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
WHAT 20 YOU wANT2

Advertise your wants In the Evening
journal Employment warned. hell
wanted, to Lot. for rent, for sale. board.
ing, ana io4t ana found ads. ri!li / pun
llshed. thnee lines. one time. fer = dine
thfos times for duattsr.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
Annlnrons TermInntlons.

Teacher 90 new scholarl-W is
gour name?
New Boy-My name is julie, sir.
Teacher You should have said Jul
us. sir And now my lad turning TO
inother lad. what Is your name7
ssBillious. sir.i'-Tit Bits
Evening journal., 1899-12-27

Schedule In effect November 70, 1899.
All trains illuminated with Fintso
tExPREss TRAINS.
Trains leave Wilmington, Delaware Ave
nue. station, for
NEW YORK. week days. s5.0i. s9.5e.
Pullman cafis)' ia 1869 D. M. Sundays
500. s9.S9. s1l.35 a. m; '2,d 400, 'sD lau
Pullman cars), ia 1902 p. N.
.70s ia sS@ 'SN. sSl0.b2. HOS a. M;
sieiq s23i 800 400, s5.i9 (all Pullman
cars), $50 'l.l4, 1852 p m. Sundays 30,
400 1913 IAN Pullman cars), $50. IA,
Chester week days. $50 '!.o5, 10. .sz9
,i05s p. m. Sundays, $780, $50, .s.s9, LIZ
'il.35 a. m; '2.si. 400. $50. ia, 'ioba
Atlantic city. week days. s7o5 a. m:
si2is. s2.si. 400 p. m. Sundays. 7.so a. M;
ca csp e Nay, ocean city and Sea Isle city.
wosk days, '7.o5 a. M; 'aA p. NJ sun
Baltimore ana Washington, week days.
AIS 100 s6.0i. sli.0i a.. M; 'l2,58. .z,Os. Alss
.Sii n. M SUNDAYS. AIS. 500 a. M; sl2.56.
.209. $40, '457, '5,@ (all Pullman ears).
Bslanore ana way stations. ZOO a. m.
daily except Sundays; 3, 10 p: n daily -
t Newark week days AIS, 100, s8.oi. el1.ul
a m. 'i2 Sc, S.le. 1851. !: S2 al P M sun
days. AIS 'S'oi a, m; 'lz-b0 S'ls' 'eef tx
Pitisbure. week days. 500 a. m; 1851,
$50 IAN Pullman cars), I'll D. N. Sun
davs, 30 a. M; 40, 80 (ah fnllman
cars). sq11 =. m.
Chicago. daily, 900 a. M. 't57 p. m
Cincinnati and ST. Louis. 'S.0f a. N.
Ass and %. II p. m, daily.
Toledo and Detroit. eli p. m. daAly -
Toledo, and daily except Sunday 70 De-
trOit.
sinrerly sscoruniodation week days
100 a. M. SIC. L& ;. m Sundays. AIS.
1.31 d. m.
Landenbere accommodation. week dayf.
4.57 p. M. Sundays. $50 p m
LEAVE MARKET ST. STATION FOR
Baltimore, week days. e.b5 p. m.
I.andenberg week days. s.s9 a m: ASS,
$40 p. m. sundays, 1856 o. m, b.i5 p. m.
LEAVE PHILADnLPHIA for WI
,,91io9 a we ss5 ,s aaiz7 = "a ~ q, AZ
800 !sli PULLMAN card. - So ;s ~
n. m, 1890 sl.S7, 2l5. $40, 4 90 so (au
Pullman cafs) ESQ. $50. s8ss, 1890 p. N.
Dtlmarvia Telephone, No 100
RATES 70 Western points Iqw Z; & EnsI VIA
General Nanaatr.
~. .. MARTIN. Man. q PRss. Trafic.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27

Mr.. Grau says that Chicago is a poor
town for grand opera. The people out
there will probably strike back by de-
claring that Grau is an ALTERED poor
Judge Of racked neat--TTsshington
Post.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
one Failure OF Advertisina.

Editors wife-Poor hahv-s circula-
ion IS very bad John
Editor Observation-Disclosures
he advertiees himself well too'-(Odds
md Ende.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27

Expectant father; even, is 1t a lit
he peachy
Excited nurse: no, sif; it's a littlo
oair."-Yonkers Statesman
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
WHAT DO you VAST,

Advertise your wants in the Evening
Journal. Employment war-ed. help
waited. to let, for rent, for sale. board
ing. ana lost ana found ads. Shli DO pub.
lisled, tAfee lines, oae tine, COR dtzas:
Evening journal., 1899-12-27

PhotOgNpher-Gr Great Scott. man! try
and look happy and cheerful
CustOmer-I dasn't. This photo.
graph Is for my wife. who Is away on
4 visit. She would COME back tomor,
.ow II looked happy and cheerful
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
why They Hurt.

you look dreadfulIy battered; how
IS thati"
"Wife has been pelting me with
flowers"
My, that wouldn't mark you in
that fashion.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27

visitor-Dld ton 20 to the circus last
summer, Bobby
Bobby-Nope, but ! watched Pop pa
per the parlor ceiiln' Truth.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27

What IS conscience-money paf"
Conscience money? 1t is the so cents
your mother leaves in my pocket when
She cleans out all the rest"-The Chi
cago Record.
Evening journal., 1899-12-27
nonhle DIstllled Lnek

Link-What makes you so gay this
morning? Did you hit It in Wall
street?
Gorif-Nixey. bettcr than that. My
nOther-in-law has eloped with my
tailor Have one on me.