Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1899-03-29
QUEER LETTER WRITER'S.
How the Wheels Of the Dead Letter
Olllcc arc Kept llummlng.

UNIV NfN
San Francisco Chronicle.
OF tho thousands ~ letters which 20
through tn" oiiice weekly Il l. rurpria.
INK 10 learn that hundreds ~ thau.
through faulty addresses. cause the
rpstoiiicc people almost o. much czirn
trouble ~ IN. handling OF those which
afo In proper form. And the acts N
this same class are also the most DO.
tent factor In keeping the whrtla NJ IN.
duatry humnlnE In the dead letter OF
hcr at Washington all tho year ruund.
Ignorance. or u childliko beiicf In tho
supernatural powers Of the postal ~.
nciAla Inspired the folinwing .ffusiva.
though vague inscription on a rather
dirty envelope dropped In the main Of
TO my cunin. Martha Small. who
lives In organ and WINS Eoin' al moovc
20 Monianncr"
Another mlnsivc with a nomadlc adj.
dreas was odotoua with mystery. II
WIS directed.
Samuel Kramer. Milwaukee. wis;
" not. try Columbus. o.. or. may be-
Dallas. Tex, nr. perhaps. Bangor. Me-"
Was this letter representative ~ u
fotlurn hope TO reach long lost heir %
n fortune. or the frantic attempt ~
creditor to run down an elusive debiorT
piece ~ handlwork worthy ~ the
q letter, which. bore only on IT, face
this writinri
"ff not delivered In ten DAYS. post.
master VIII please open ana return un
per address inside. Stamp incioaed"
There H. vast and growlnr army "
cfnnkH who seem IA live only for tho
purpose ~ uniuE the mails IN their own
peculiar ldiotlc way. In the operations
~ some 81 these there II a studied
honilfhnean that would rurreHt n NJ.
Ehntlo conspiracy To drive postal clerks
10 the insane asylum or the ciammy
tomb. San Francisco has fofne shining
llsht. ~ Tho crank line, as may be- seen
By what follpWHi
In tho INST place there IL the puzzle
crank who imaEinen that a s-crut
stamp gives him the privilege ~ dis
plaNinr at the expense Of the postal
officials his marvellous powers ~ nn
enigma maker. OF many witch m.
noysd the pnniafico last year. the fol-
lowing II a fair sample.
y. teoiorJ ". Second rrruid, ait..
Seventh prcsident.t
fO-S-C.
The envelope ought 10 have gone into
the waste box, hut Uncle sans orders
are 10 use an possible means 20 md the
party Go whom a letter IN Addressed 10
finally a reformed puIzlcr In the Office
dcoiphsrcd the address 20 be-;
Erred II. Adams, jackson. Tenn"
Next IN the degree Of adherence In
the minds of TIM latter handlers v the
poetich crank lie Il strongly imprcr.
mated with the idea that all the world
loves a poet fmngazine editors cNs
ccpted). and that, above all. postal
clerks need some intellectual refresh.
mcnt 10 ameliorate the hard grind ot
daily toll. one ~ these disciples ~
elias wcgg caroiled ~ follows iaielyi
oh. carrier. with the willing feet.
Deliver this on Fifiieth street
The number, thirteen twvnty-four.
The town, New York. and on the door
Nou'll ind net IN a silver frame
That which you asrk-a perron'a name
James ipSeu stronE-whod want a bot
tori
And 'tia to him I send this letter.
Another allowed himself 10 overflow
with fragment built IN the sans Hines
as the offcrvcHcrnt college yell. Il ran;
Iinfperr Hnrpcrn.
In Franklin Rduara.
New York, New York.
with haste and care.
The envelope was bulky ana auroiy
held manuscript undoubtedly n poem
on spring-hut whether that diabullcai
bark resembling the uiulntlnn Of a
mountain wolf on tho war trail was to
drive tho poatofilce tn unusual -xcftiona
In forwarding the letter. 90 whether II
was TO convince the publishers that the
author was rough and frndy genius
of the west who would not brook re-
fuaal ~ copy can only b. conicctured.
n would bo supposed that the crank
bent on addressing lotted 20 himself
and have II come back after a journey
around the world resembling a lorua
plaster from postmariH u dead. II has
been announced officially rrortr %
times that letters mailed FOR such pur-
pose viii be- returned 10 the writer by
the specdiest ronic-that ", hy ornl
carrier. sun. tho round the world
crank IL on the hustle, and ~ eagerly
bent on wasting postage stamps In
fact. he ~ becoming more AMBITIOUS
and desires Ia zlrfnF hts letters aruund
the globe. ns witness the following on
the end 81 letter mailed here only a
Few days ago;
''To the postmaster; I want this let
ter 10 go around the world. n possible
take In Janan. India. Australia, some
mart ~ Africa. nh many Of the countries
N Europe az convenient, and also South
America. say RIO Janeiro, Sixty cents
ought to do H."
Two s0-cont stamps were on the on
veiope but the letter dld not go on the
circuit.
A wholly inexplicnble piece Of crank.
Ism WINS developed by letter that APP
parently had no address where adj
dresses usually nre, Hut In fine writing
In one corner was rcrnwied;
"iIeut envelope and nnd address"
When the letter was held TO gas
iet an address that had been written IN
Invisible Ink was drawn out by the
heat strangely enough the letter was
marked important"
We have saved many doctor bills
since No began using chamberlain'a
Cough Remedy In our home. We keep
> bottle open all the time and whom
nnr my nl NV fnmllN or mYaelf hnEln