davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-04-01

1T seems very queer says Curtis in
the Chicago Record, that man who
has been examined by a medical board
of the pension Office and found suffi-
GENTLY disabled to entitle him to a pen
sion, should so "a few blocks west TO
the war department and be reported
physically sound by military medical
board, and then, after the war, go back
to the pension office for REORGANIZATION
and get another report of total physical
disability. The fact that the army med
zeal board has declared q man sound
has no weight with the pension medi-
cal boards, and vice versa. When a
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-04-01
POLITICAL EFFECT.

Perhaps our Republican friends will
not be so rash in rushing to the de-
tense Of the administration. now that
criminal mistreatment of the Ameri-
can soldiers in Cuba and Porto Rico
has been proved beyond question.
When the boys came struggling home
from the islands and the pest camps
last fall, wan, wasted, feyer-striclSen,
starved and neglected by the civil Of
hcials who insisted upon conducting the
war in their own way and feeding the
army on their own contracts, the presi-
dents defenders told US that the sol
diers themselves were to blame.
1t was cewardly excuse, a villain
GUS perversion of the facts, a brutal
shifting OF blame. Time has shown
how false and dastardly it was. Inves-
tigation has fastened the crime upon
the administration. 1t cannot escape
the awful responsibility
When newspapers called for an in
vestigation Alger said there was moth
ing to investigate. When they insist
ed Hanna scoffed and said:
Things like that are for political ef-
feet" And administration organs, even
a local contemporary which had been
as indignant at first, took the cue from
Hanna and declared: There is too
much politics in this denunciation Of
Alger and Bagan."
But some Of the strongest testimony
against the beef contractors, SOME Of
the most damning facts have been pre-
sented by members of the Republican
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-04-01
THREE OF A KIND.

The Provo Enquirer INDUCES in its
usual fling at Bryan and other ad-
vocates of bimetallism, and says that
their financial plan would make our
silver dollars only half their present
value"
1t goes on to commend the Tribunes
abuse Of Democrats. quotes its appeal
to Republicans to return to the regu-
lar organization, rejoices over our
morning contemporary final and com
plete acceptance of "all of the policies
advocated by President Mckinley" as
the state platform pledged the party
last fall. and concludes with the fol-
lowing assurance to the followers of
Hanna:
I'VE believe that the state can again
be placed in the Republican column,
where it properly belongs, if the men
who in 1896 left the party, feel now as
the Tribune does. Republicans will
meet them half way. and through Re
publican harmony, politics in the state
may again become interesting. Last
campaign they descended to such a
level as to disgust most citizens who
have the welfare of Utah at heart"
We are glad to see brethren dwell
together in harmony, and so long as
the Tribune's motto is, Anything to
beat the Democrats" its proper place
is in line with the Ogden Standard
and the Provo Enquirer, neither of
which denies its loyalty to Mckinley
and the st. Louis platform, but fights
the Chicago platform and Democracy
openly.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-04-01
The Auctioneer Got Mad.
Chicago Democracy

(CnlcdgO DemOcrdt.)
There was a great commotion in a
State street auction shop this morning
when the auctioneer stepped down
from his stand and deliberately struck
one of his listeners. His victim was an
innocent-looking fellow and it was not
until his face was considerably batter
ed that they succeeded in separating
the men.
1t seems that the innocent-appearing
fellow is a sufferer from ST. Vitus'
dance, and had strolled into the auc-
ton shop to pass away the time. His
disease affected him peculiarly in that
it caused him to constantly keep his
head nodding in the affirmative.
How much am I bid for this hand
some watch?" yelled the auctioneer.
Five dollars shouted back a man
in the crowd, who was evidently work
ing in the interests of the auction firm.
Will you give six?'' asked the auc-
tioneer, pointing in the direction of the
innocent young man.
The innocent young man nodded
six I'm bid; who'll give seven?"
The first bidder said that he would
and the young man was again asked
to increase the bid. Again his disease
acted upon him, and he nodded assent
He continued to nod unconsciously I'M
til he had bid S35 on the watch, and
when he refused to take the timepiece
upon it being finally knocked down to
him, the fight followed.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-04-01
SOME GOOD SHORT STORIES
Getting Even With Addicks.

The spectacle of Mr.. Addicks' sena-
torial throes in Delaware reminds me
of an episode when he was engaged in
the gas business in Boston. Mr.. Adj
dicks. as some people will remember,
was occupied here in an attempt which
involved a good deal of legislation of
one kind or another, says the Boston
Transcript. During the progress of his
attempt he invited the board of al
dermen Of the city of Boston one day
to go down, to the harbor on his boat
Now Then, and the invitation was ac-
cepted. When they were started out
Mr.. Addicks produced lot of yacht
ing caps, which, as the wind blew
fiercely on the little deck of the Now
Then, were regarded as proper to re-
place the more formal aldermanic
headgear. All the caps were blue, ex-
cept one, which was white, and this
white one Addicks proceeded to present
with a flourish, to Alderman Farmer,
saying as he did so:
Il give this to Alderman Farmer to
wear as an emblem of purity
All the ether aldermen laughed, for
Mr.. Farmer had been prominent in his
opposition to Addicks' schemes in the
board. Mr.. Farmer accepted the white
cap and wore it without any protest,
or, for that matter, any complacency.
But some time later in the day, when
the party were lined up before a soda
fountain, Mr.. Farmer said
"Can you tell me, Mr.. Addicks, what
is the difference between the man who
runs this soda fountain and your
well, no, L can't" said Addicks
what is it?"
This man makes his money by put
ting gas into water, and you make
yours by putting water into gas
This palpable hit at the Delaware
financier's operations at the time was
regarded by the company as a very
fair return for the joke of the white
cap.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-04-01
Glued Up Her Mouth.

NI1dITOuSDuTS OSIIOCIdl.J
Such point has been reached that it
seems as if it were impossible to OBJ
tain any more pure homemade sugar.
James Linney, Harrodsburg mer-
chant, purchased several pounds of
what was represented to him as a pure
article the other day. An old lady came
in and purchased two cakes. She took
about a half one in her mouth and be-
gan to chew until she could chew no
more. The merchant and those stand
ing about in the store, seeing she could
not open her mouth, became alarmed,
thinking the elderly woman had a Sc
yere attack of lockjaw. But to the
thagrin of the obliging merchant he
soon discovered he had been imposed
upon by some interruptions person,
who had made the sugar of some
kind of glue. 1t was necessary to heat
a kettle of water and melt the stuff
before the old lady could open her
mouth. However, she hadn't forgot
ten how to use it when the glue had
been removed.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-04-01
FILIPlNOS IN THE HILLS.

Malolos has fallen. Aguinaldo has
been driven from his stronghold. The
insurgents have scattered among the
hills American troops are bivouckng
on the site of the rebel capital. But
the war is not over.
AS some of the officers predicted, it
will be guerilla warfare from this time
on until the end, whenever that may
come.
Lawton practically controls the south
end of Luzon, while Macarthur has
captured every town worth taking
north of the Pasig. Dewey will be able
to keep the natives from congregating
on the coast, and fighting henceforth
viii be similar to Indian warfare, with
which most of the officers and regulars
are acquainted. Lawton is an old hand
at this game, and no one questions
Macarthur prowess as an all-round
exterminator of savages.
The Americans have probably reach
ed the end of rapid fighting, and they
certainly had it hot enough. But this
business of driving insurgents through
swamps, clearing them out of thickets,
stumbling into their ambuscades, chas-
ing them over the hills and down the
ravines and killing them, one at a
time, can not be expedited.
There is little likelihood of the insur-
gents north and south of the Pasig get
ting together and recognizing their
forces. Our troops have possession of
oil Il
Major Grant is master Of the lake with
his tinclad gunboat and Utah guns.
This gives us a line from Manila bay to
the lake. a ship near Cayite can throw
shells all around the lake, if necessary,
and this will keep the natives away
from the vicinity. The lake extends in
irregular shape nearly across the island
Of Luzon, coming to within ten miles
Of the eastern shore. a grnboat at the
eastern side OF the lake and a ship in
Lamon bay. at the eastern side Of the
island. could, therefore, command the
passage from north to south at that
point Also which would completely sep
arate the rebel forces from each other
and enable our troops to conduct such
campaigns as may be necessary against
them, one at a time.
Little resistance is expected from the
insurgents south Of the Pasig. other
tribes than the Tagals inhabit the re-
gion. and Lawton has them well in
hand.
The worst feature of the campaign to
come seems to lie in the fact that Agui-
naldo has evidently retreated to the
range Of mountains north of Lake Bal,
a portion of the island inaccessible to
massed troops and field pieces, and one
which was never conquered or even in
vaded by Spaniards. Yet there is some
question as to whether a large number
of natives will be able to hold out very
long shut off from the rest of the island
and cut off from all communication by
sea, or subsist in an uncultivated sec
ton Of country. Probably the easiest
way to get them now is to camp on all
the trails and await developments.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-04-01
MI. Kipling,s Inspiration.

Mr.. William Strong, an artist, who
visited Mr.. Kipling before his illness,
says that Mr. Kipling confessed that
he wrote all his verses while humming
tunes, which were generally Irish, says
the Boston Transcript. Il take up,
for example" he said, The Wearing
of the Green, and I hum it over and
over, and the spirit moves me to write
words to fit it." This is an interesting
confession. 1t is queer to note, now
that the thing is mentioned, that
"Mandalay" goes to the tune of
Wearing of the Green" Try it:
Take me somewheres east of Suez,
where the best is like the worst,
Where there aren't no ten command
ments, and man can raise a
thirst.
All the labor that has been spent by
a hundred composers in setting Man
dalay'' to music seems to have been
wasted, for it was already 'sot."
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-04-01

which he had been so rudely awakened
from his slumber; but, taking pity on
the sufferer, he dressed himself and
went down stairs to supply the much
desired relief. While measuring the
drug he could not help indulging in a
growl at the lad.
Its like your impudence," he OBJ
served, ito wake me up at this time
of the night for a paltry pennyworth
of chloroform.''
"Oh, is it?" said the boy resentfully.
"Then I'll take my custom somewhere
else. You can keep your chIoroform.
L won't have it now, for your cheek"
And he didn't He went off quite
Indignantly, nursing his jaw, to wake
up some other chemist.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-04-01
Dewey Outdone.
N"SJ SNSSNO4AS'
(Chicaro Democrat \


Those who attended a beer-hall concert
near Fifty-fourth street and Lake avenue
last evening saw something new.
An extraordinarily elaborate programme
had been advertised, and the bills an
nounced in big type that "Dewey's Vic
tory Would Be Won over Again Every
Evening" The Autographs pictured the
great admiral on the bridge of his flag
ship as the Spanish fleet sinks under the
waves.
The piece proved a great attraction, and
a large number were present when the
cambria curtain was showed aside.
There stood Dewey, marine glasses in
hand. and the firing began Immediately
Boom. boom, yet the great fighter smiled
through it all. There was plenty of red
fire and flying shells. The Spanish fleet
could not hold out much longer The
spectators were on their feet, so intense
was the excitement.
Suddenly a binding flash lit up the
stage and the patriotic audience was
Mortified to see the gallant Olympia. upon
which Dewey stood. sink under the waves
and the brave admiral fall under a heap
Of burning dry goods boxes to the stage
floor.
Beer glasses rained around the smiling.
victorious Spanish admiral while poor
Dewey was lifted into an ambulance suf-
fering fractured ankle.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-04-01
It Was Raining.
CYouth's Companlon.l

DR.. Gruby, a physician of Paris, was
famous for his efforts to protect ami
mails from cruelty. He went beyond
those who are humane simply as far
as four-footed creatures; he was logical
enough to include insects in his mercy.
He was, however. a little nervous
and when, one day. in his parlor, a big,
blue fly buzzed uninterruptedly on a
window pane the doctors patience be-
came little Worn. and he called his
man servant.
DO me the Kindness said the doe
tor, ito open the window and carefully
put that fly outside
But SIR said the servant, who
thought of the drenching the room
might get through an open easement
sit is raining outside"
The doctor still thought of the fly,
and not of his cushions.
"Oh, is it?''. he exclaimed. Then
please put the little creature in the
waiting room and let him stay there till
the weather is fair"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-04-01
THE ANSWER.
CRudyard Kipling.)


A rose, in tatters on the garden path
Cried out TO God and murmured 'gainst
his wrath.
Because a sudden wind at twilight's hush
Had snapped her stem alone of all the
bush
And God. who hears both sun-dried dust
and sun,
Had pity. whispering to that iuckless one.
SISTER, in that thou sayest we did not
well
What voices heard'st thou when thy Pc
tails fell?"
And the rose answered: In that evil hour
A voice said, Father, wherefore falls the
flower?
For 10, the very gossamers are still
And voice answered, Son, by Allah's
will"
Then softly, as a rain-mist on the sward
Came to the rose the answer of the Lord
Sister. before we smote the dark in
twain
Ere yet the stars saw one another plain,
Time. Tide and Space, we bound into the
task
That thou shouldst fall. and such an one
should ask"
Whereat the withered flower, all content,
Died as they die whose days are limo
cent:
While he who questioned why the flower
fell
Caught hold of God and saved his soul
from hell.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-04-01
party not partisan enough to screen

party not partisan enough to screen
criminals and cover up crime.
Nor should the American people over
look the other offenses to which the ad-
ministration was a party, while watch
ing the startling Developments of the
beef inouisition. The rotten food fur
nished the brave men who needed
health and strength to battle for their
country was only one item. 1t is the
only one under investigation now.
Neglect of the helpless wounded and
Of the Eagan- poisoned heroes was an
other crying evil of the war.
My men are dying for lack Of medi-
cine and proper food" telegraphed one
officer after another to the war depart
ment. Hanna would say. when these
statements were shown him: Things
like that are for political effect"
But 5000 soldiers died. Was that for
political effect?
The camps were unhealthy and some
OF them We're selected where there was
no adequate sdpply of water. Disease
followed as a matter of course. Men
9iSASi4Su anu uleu anu thS iSoSOhS a {
being revealed. But no one believes
that Roosevelt's men vomited for DO
litical effect after eating the only meat
furnished them by Alger and Eagan.
No one believes that officers. begged fer
proper food and medicine for the sick
Of their commands for political effect.
A few administration heelers may make
the statement, but no rational man be-
lieves it now.
Let no one who defends Eagan, Alger
and MeKinley's mistreatrnent of the
American soldier in the war with Spain
ever insinuate about the loyalty and
patriotism of any one else
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-04-01
MEN AND MYSTERIES.

Mysterious murders have a wonder
full fascination for the average. mind.
Each detail is dwelt upon and magni-
He'd and distorted and repeated, until
the narrators confuse the facts with
the fictions, and actually become con-
WINGED that they are not only person.
ably acquainted with matters of which
they have merely heard, but with i'm
aginary circumstances as we'll.
Some people pass readily and I'M
consciously from hearsay to eye-wit-
nesses, and. no doubt. honestly believe
that their theories or impressions were
really acted out. Cases have been re
corded where innocent men accused of
murder have brooded over the accu-
stations until they confessed guilt Men
have been hung. it is related, upon such
false admissions, when subsequent de-
velopments established their Innocence
beyond peradvenrure.
Since men allow their imaginations
to convince themselves that they were
principals, it is not difficult for others
to become spectators by the same
process.
This is especially so in rural commu-
mites, where crimes are afl-absorbing
topics for longer periods than the pro-
verbal nine days; and, in cases like
the killing. of the northumberland at
Layton the other night, every develop
ment is followed and discussed with
great interest.
1t is not so with open assassination;
-
ing in that; then it is the mystery that
holds interest, rather than the crime
itself 1t is the common trait of man
TO seek to know the uuknowable: a
common dislike 10 be thwarted or out
done; a sort of resentment against
fate's placing obstacles in the way of
natural curiosity, and a resistance
which enlists the ardor of men. 1t is
human nature to pry into secrets, and
the greater the secret, and the more
significant, the greater the desire to
fathom it. What anyone may know,
few persist in learning, unless, of
course, it is of personal interest to
know it.
Ingenious murders, or those that baf-
fe detection, arouse communities as
games of chance excite players for it
IS a trial Of cunning, test of skill,
with the criminal on one side and So
ciety on the other. The gathering of
clues and the weaving out of theories
are like solving puzzles, only the imL
portance of results on the one hand
far outweigh the simple satisfaction
which follows success on the other
Some men and some newspapers de-
plore this interest people take in hor-
rors. assign TO il morbid sentiments,
and dread its tendency as baleful and
unwholesome. 1t may be so, and yet
ehis very interest people take would
seem to afford a stimulus for the bet
ter protection. OF human life. 1t makes
officers vigflant, it makes people OBJ
servant and anxious. 1t is far better
than to see them apathetic and indif-
ferent.
Sensationalism and morbid curiosity
may have their drawbacks, and they
are not commendable in general, but
these traits of man are not without
compromising influences. after all. 1t
is where they are carried to extremes
that they seem totally unworthy. And
50 long as society is made up of all
kinds of people there viii be radicals
as well as conservatives, and each in
his way does good.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-04-01

pensioner enlisted in the army he had
to forfeit his pension. and now when
he is mustered out it is granted him
again. These cases are occurring every
day, and simply illustrate the weak
ness in the pension bureau" 1t is an
evidence of the vast amount of fraud
in many of these examinations. When
one medical board pronounces man
sound under the rigid requirements OF
active service, and another medical
board pronounces the same man ply
sically unspund and helpless enough
TO require a pension, there is some
thing rotten in Denmark
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-04-01
You Will
Not Object

if we try to make little monev
out of the shoes we sell. will you?
You are willing to live and let
others live, too, aren't you? Ger
tainly; that's good Americanism-
anyhow, we're satisfied TO get
along with as little profit as any
one you ever knew. We are not
trying to amass a fortune. All
we ask is enough margin TO keep
the wheels of the business well
oiled and to maintain our gen
eral reputation as citizens and
handlers of reliable footwear.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-04-01

Another marine horror is reported.
One hundred and twenty Easter, ex-
cursionists were drowned Friday near
the island of Attorney, off the English
coast. 1t was a holiday party on its
way to spend Sunday in the channel
islands. Their Easter will never come
on earth. Good Friday was to them
what the original was to their Re
deemer, but ON Easter their friends will
look for them in vain to rise from their
watery graves and walk forth to greet
them.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-04-01
STOCKS AND INVESTMENTS.

Utah Bank and Commercial Stocks and
other High Grade Investment Securities
bought and sold.
Loans on Stocks.
Dividend-paying stocks bought and sold.
Investment orders from institutions,
trustees of estates and capitalists will
receive the best of attention
JOHN C. CUTLER, JR.,
Tel. 127. 26 Main Street
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-04-01
60
THE "WASN'T-THERES."

Hobart, in Baltimore American.)
with abject apologies to Mr.. Rudyard
Kipling)
"W no are those men a-howling there?'
Said Stranger-on-Parade
The Wasn't There's! The Wasn't
The Correspondent said.
What makes them yell so loud, SO l0U1?"
Said Stranger-on-Parade.
THE wars continued in their throats:'
The Correspondent said.
For, they're thrashing schley, the
hero,
In the most approved way:
The 't-Theres' in holler squares
They're thrashing him todayi
They're busting off his jacket with
Some language loud and gay
oh, they're thrashing Schley, the hero,
in the morning.
What makes them breathe so hard, so
Said Stranger-on-Parad
They're after Fame, they're after
The Correspondent said.
How may they thus win great renoWn?'
Said Stranger on-Parade.
1.-The napers print their pictures, see?'
q The CORRESPONDENT said.
For they're after Schley. the hero,
You can hear chin music play;
The Wash There's in holler squares
Ihey re after MN today!
Hoi the raw recruits are waiting for
A chance to have their say
And they're after Schley, the hero, in
the morning
And viii they thus make history?"
Said nger-on-Parade.
Not in a thousand thousand years."
The Correspondent said.
"Then what's the use? Oh. what's the
use?'
Said Stranger-on-Parade.
Their business is to talk, to TALK
The Correspondent said
"Oh, they're thrashing schley, the
hero.
With a club composed of sound;
Oh. those loud and lurid linguists they
Have thrown him on the ground
'Tis the method new of fighting that
The pUgilists first found!-
Yes. they're thrashing Schley, the
hero. in the morningi
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1899-04-01
Took His Custom Elsewhere.
Hondon Snare Moments.l

The other day a chemist was awak-
ened about 1 o'clock in the morning by
some one clamoring at his shop door,
OPENING his bedroom window, he saw
small boy, who was gesticulating
wildly.
whats the matter?" inquired the
chemist.
II want penn'orth O. camphorated
chloroform for t toothache," howled
the lad
The chemist was not overjoyed when