davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21
WAS HER FIRST FARCE COMEDY.
Why One Young Woman Mas Really
Pleased With Poor Show.

Why One Young Woman Mas Really
Pleased With Poor Show.
New Orleans Times-Democrat Had
a queer experience not long ago." said
confirmed theater-goer of this city.
Through sheer lack of anything else
to do, had dropped in to see farce
comedy that knew in advance was
something unusually poor 1t proved
TO be good deal more idiotic than l
! anticipated, and was about to make
! my escape when happened to notice
young woman of my acquaintance,
seated with some members of her
/ family, on the other side of the house
| TO my intense surprise she seemed to
be convulsed with merriment. She
was leaning forward, eagerly drinking
in every word, and at each prehistoric
joke and hackneyed situation she
would shake with uncomfortable
laughter. That anybody should be
amused at such unmitigated rubbish
was sufficiently astonishing, but that
it should please this particular girl
was simply incomprehensible. | have
| known her, you see, as lover of the
very highest type of intellectual
drama. She knows her lbsen by
heart, dotes on Materlinck and can
talk by the hour about Sudermann,
Fulda, Hauptmann, Reichel and all the
rest of the crowd who are supposed to
be several miles over the heads of the
common herd. Last time | called she
was reading Die Nersunkeue Glocke'
in the original and now to see her
getting hysterical over a tupenny ha'
penny farce fairly took my breath
away. After the agony was over l
made point of meeting her in the
lobby and she seized me by the arm.
oh, wasn't it perfectly splendid!' she
exclaimed, her eyes still sparkling.
We'll, I'm little surprised at your
enthusiasm, l replied. Il thought,
don't you know, that il was a bit-er
out of your line so it is she adj
mitted promptly. why, it's actually
the first farce comedy / ever saw in
my life, and | can't understand why
people say they are dull! Wasn't it
just too funny for anything, and
she went off into another peal of
laughter That explained the mys-
terry. The whole thing was new to
tho dear girl. All the spawned jokes,
all the superannuated gags, all the
shelf-worn situations and antediluvian
tricks and turns appealed to her with
the same freshness and sparkle that
they did to me thirty years ago, when
| was boy, up in the peanut gallery"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21
struction of the armored train at Krai.

struction of the armored train ut Krai-
pan show that Captain Nesbitt, In COM
mand, was warned at Maribogo that
Boers held the line. lie replied he was
bound to proceed. Nearing Kraipan
the train dashed into u culvert that
had been blown up by Beers. The Boer
artillery Immediately opened fire and Il
desperate fight appears to have en-
SUED, lasting for hours, with the odds
greatly against the British. Precise
details are uncertain. 1t seems, how
ever, police patrol, attracted by the
firing, approached within 1000 yards
or kraipan, saw the train ditched, with
the Boer artillery pounding at it, but
noticed no response. The Beers
semed afraid to approach until the
wreck was complete. The patrol
feared, as there were no signs OF life
near the train, the entire force had
perished.
1t is reported the Beers lost heavily,
but there are no means of verifying
this. Two miles of rails were torn up.
Rumors o. bloody Battles.
There is no authoritative conhrma-
tion of the report of battle fought in
Natal between General Sir George
Stewart White of the Orange Free
State troops; but if, as reported, an
engagement began before the Beers
had thrown up carthworks, the British
cavalry and artillery are liable to have
had the best of the fighting
1t is even reported the British
gained q great victory, that 1000 Beers
were killed and that the british loss
Al; q 4, ,x;th
out foundation.
The probability seems to be that
there has not been any fighting yet In
Natal.
The Boer plan Is now unfolding
itself. 1t seems to be to strike stimuli
taneously at different points, with n
view of obtaining n strong strategic
position in Natal before the arrival of
the British army corps. At all points
the British are faced by Boer forces
superior at least in number.
The most dangerous positions, espe-
cially since the loss of the armored
train, are Mafeking and Nryburg. Col.
onel Baden-Powell who is in command
at Mafeking, is Pan of the greatest
courage and enegy, but he has only
1000 men, many of them irregulars,
whose fighting capacity Is not known,
although il Is believed to be good. The
fact that he has moved out of Mafe.
king indicates some apprehension and
in all likelihood he win have to stand
fierce assault or prolonged siege.
General Sir George Stewart White,
commanding in Natal, is estimated to
have about $4,000 men, stretched in
strongly entrenched positions from
Ladysmith to Dundee. He is man of
great resources and has the valuable
assistance of General William pcen
(oms, experienced in hill fighting in
India and General Sir Archibald Hun
ter, experienced in Soudan campaigns.
London, Oct. 1.-THE following has
been received by the war Office from
Ladysmith:
General Sir George Stewart White
w.nt in the direction Of Van Reenen's
pass at o'clock Yesterday morning,
but failed to draw the Beers to the
pass. He returned to Ladysmith,
where he now is. No engagement oc-
Cured"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21
A Ynnkoe's Tin 20 Mexicans.

Modern Mexico: An American farm
er near Guadalajara has convinced his
Mexican neighbors that oxen can do
more work under American yokes, so
generally used in the republic. The
American brought several modern
yokes from the states and used them
with success. The curiosity of his
Mexican friends was aroused and they
proceeded to ask questions.
WELL" said the American, when
you lasso Il steer and the lasso gets
around his neck, what do you do?"
Turn him loose" was the reply.
"Why?"
Because he's too strong for us that
way"
That's it," answered the American.
"His strength is in his neck, not in his
horns"
The MeXicans saw the point, and
now yokes of United States manufac.
ture are generally used in that neigh
borhood.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21
DON'T TWIST YOUR FACE.
Expression Doesn't Mean Turnin
Ecatnrea Into Racial Acrnhnts

Expression Doesn't Mean Turning
Features Into Facial Acrobats.
Philadelphia Inquirer: Do you want
to head off wrinkles? Then stop max
ing them. How?
Take your hand-glass and study fa-
cial expression.
Better still, get your nearest and
dearest to tell you when you are puck.
ering up your brows.
When you are lining your forehead
by perpetual jerk upwards.
When you are allowing worry lines
TO creep down each side of your mouth.
When you are crows feeting" the
corners of your eyes with an eternal
grimace.
You laugh too much.
You scold too much.
You talk too much.
A face lacking expression belongs to
the sawdust doll type.
Let your eyes talk, let the sensitive
CULVER of the mouth denote feeling,
but for goodness sake give up that
mistaken idea of expression, namely,
turning each feature into facial aero
bat.
Wrinkles are scanning faces that
would be lovely but for this blemish.
They are brought there largely
through carelessness.
Ignorance will bring lines.
So will indifference.
The period has long since passed
when it was considered waste of
time to study beauty books.
Those written today are filed with
intelligent hints.
The writer well up on her subject
tells you wrinkles are due to muscular
depletion.
Keep every muscle toned.
Do this with massage.
Keep the skin softened.
Do this with unguents.
A fabby face is one that never goes
under the manipulation of massage.
The drawn withered complexion is
suffering from lack of toilet creams.
Large pores coarsened by neglect
need the most seductive of beauty arts.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21
MANY INSURGENTS SLAIN
Genera Schwan Reports 200 Killed
and 400 Wounded in Re-
cent Operations.

Washington, Oct, I6-Gcneral Otis ca
bles this morning:
'Schwan's column swung into linus
from Das Marinas yesterday morning;
camped at Bacoor last night; has scat
tered insurgents. who are probably retir-
ing by detachments on lndang Condi-
tion OF roads prevented further pursuit;
125 men of the Thirty-seventh volunteers
drove insurgents south and west from
lake town Of Muntinlupe yesterday, pur-
suing them several miles, and retired to
Bacoor last night by Zapote river road;
loss, three killed, two wounded, one miss
ing. Schwan's movement very success
full; inflicted heavy loss on men and
property OF southern insurgcnt army. He
reports their casualties 200 killed, 400
wounded. Their stored supplies were de-
stroycd. Young, moving from Arayat
north and Yesterday. scattered insur-
gents, who retired northwest his casual
ties were three slightly wounded; consid-
cradle grain captured"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21
FIGHTING IN MANY PLACES.
Unconfirmed Reports OF Bloody Bat
ties at Many Points.

Unconfirmed Reports OF Bloody Bat
ties at Many Points.
London, Oct. 16.--Those who have
been anxious for more stirring news
from the seat of war are getting it thi.
morning, as, according to dispatches,
shooting must have been nearly con
tinuous along the entire borders of the
Boer republics, while pitched battles
occurred or are occurring at various
points in Natal and British Bechuana-
land. Most OF these reports, however,
remain unconfirmed. AS Mafeking is
cut off geographically stories from
that point are generally of Kaffir
origin, and must be regarded with sus-
picion, though every probability is
that General Cronje's big commando
began an assault upon Mafeking.
Further details regarding the de-
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21
THE SHOPLIFTER'S DOG.
IL Proved TO Bc the Un doing OF Its
Clever Master.

Ciever MASTER.
Baltimore Sun: A fine white collie
with bushy black tail is the hero.
together with n Partisan dctective-of
a charming little shoplifting drama
which was begun, continued and ended
the other day in Paris. A bale of
sportsmen's waistcoats had been
stolen from n large Partisan draper S
shop. The suspected thief had been
In the shop for SO short time that
none Of the attendants could recall his
appearance, while several remembered
that he had been accompanied by n
magnificent lohg-haired shepherd dog,
perfectly white, except for his tail,
which was quite black. It seemed
hopeless to get on the track of the
thief, when II police inspector discov-
cred among the stray dogs n shepherd
dog answering the description of the
one which had accompanied him of
the bale of waistcoats.
The inspector now made the dog
his constant companion, hoping that
on his tours about the streets he might
one day find the master Nor was he
mistaken, for one day the dog rushed
with Il mighty bound toward an ele-
gantly dressed man descending the
steps Of the Hotel du Rhin, together
with two ladies. Both master and dog
were delighted at the meeting, and the
latter followed the party, while at a
respectful distance the inspector also
moved in the same direction. The
party of three turned into a draper's
shop and were arrested few minutes
later in the act of "lifting" a piece of
silk.
1t now appears that these worthless
belonged to n band Of thieves, the
head of which, Malizet, has long been
the respectable" inhabitant of villa
at Aubervillers, whence, as q whole
sale draper, he sent the stolen goods
all over the country, not infrequently,
as he told the court with a contemptu-
GUS smile. selling goods to the very
diapers from whom they had been
stolen,
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21
A Feeble Fable.

New York Press: A Man-Who-C Gould
Stand observation-disclosures Leaning.
Over-Backward once met an old
woman weeping copiously into Back
Bay.
"Your sorrow, madam" he inquired
courteously.
"Oh, sir" she sobbed, my little son
Eddie Atkinson, has threatened to
butt over the Bunker Hill monument
| fear he will butt out his brains"
Calm yourself" said the Man-Who
Could Stand Up Straight Without.
Leaning-Over-Bacltward. Fl notice
that the monument is still standing
and ~ to his brains, | should not
worry about his butting out many"
y. B.
This is not tale of Mothers Love
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21

exchange: A farmer has made a
discovery that will be of vast impor-
tance to the farmers during a dry sea
son. lie has found by planting onions
and potatoes in the same field in al
ternate rows the onions become so
strong that they bring tears to the
eyes of the potatoes in such vast VOL
umes that the roots of the vines are
kept moist and big crop raised in
spite of the drouth. The same farmer
has scheme for raising custard pies
by crossing the egg plant with the
milk weed
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21
DEWEY IN BOSTON.

Boston, Oct. 16.--Rcsidents of the
city, augmented by thousands from
other parts of the state, today did
honor to Dewey. He was enthusiastic-
ally cheered wherever he appeared,
particularly as he rode through the
city at the head of the brilliant naval
and military pageant, which was the
chief feature of the day.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21
Spent $4,000 IN Two Years.

New York Herald: After having run
through $4,000 left him less than two
years ago by relatives in Ireland, Patrick
Smith the other morning paid the last
dollar he possessed as fine for being
intoxicated and disorderly In the streets
Of Paterson Monday night. He was a
laborer when he received the money,
and was considered a good man in every
respect. but the money proved a curse,
both to him and to his wife,
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21
A West Indian Hurricane.

Recently travelled up the coast at will,
and acted in an entirely different man
ner from any other storm. Sometimes
dyspepsia acts in the same way. 1t
refuses TO yield to treatment which
has cured similar cases. Then Hostel
ter's Stomach Bitters should be taken.
1t has cured stomach trouble for half
a century.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21
Halls Catarrh Cure
Is a constitutional cure. Price rs cents.
"A Designing Man.

Chicago Tribune did you notice what
an attitude Ruggles struck when he
stepped up to Dewey and shook hands
with him at the reception?"
II did. What did he mean by it?'
He had bribed fifty amateur photo
graphers to take snap shots at him at
that moment"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21

Maitre Labori is one of the best anna
teur all-around athletes in Paris, and
it is said that the superb physical con-
dition which he always keeps up is
alone responsible for his quick recov-
cry from the attack upon his life.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21
STRIKEl
Hundreds of Thousands
Are Involved.
Trouble In an important Part Of the Organize.
ton Affects All the Rcst--A Perfectly
Harmonious System Essi'y
Thrown Out Of Gear.

orga nized labor has reached such a stage
that anything affecting particular branch
of ii draws all the rest into the d. fhculty.
Ii is exactls the same way with the diff
fertnt organs of the human body. Work
too hard, eat too much, drink too much, ex-
ercise but little, be little irregular In any
way, and the liver quits work.
Then the bowels become constipated and
the stomach goes on strike. The heart Is
Affected, the brain follows suit and every
part Of the body is dragged into the trouble.
The only way out OF IL 10 to go at the
source OF all this-the liver. Square your.
self with the liver and oil Will get back to
regular natural work.
Ca care Q Candy Cathart,c make things
right WI h the liver. They perfume the
breath. prevent food from sour ng on the
stomach, give tone to the bowels, strength.
en- the Int stinal muscles, VIII le they ars
Cleaning and stirring up the liver to re-
newed activity.
No matter how long case has been in,
durable, Cascarets are guaranteed to put
things right as they should be, aud set the
whole machinery a-going, and you car
get them at any drug store or by mall FOL
pr.ce-lOt. &c. or 5bc. Address Sterlil I
Remedy Co, Chicago or New York.
This is the CASCARET tablet
EffA Every tablet OF the only genuln,
EaXGeM Cascaret bears the magic letters
kxAvXa& "CCC." Look at the tablet before
Ef4&&2M you buy, and beware of frauds
kt2T limitations and substitutes.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21
lieoinninr Young,

Harper's Bazaar: Bobby-I think Tommy
Jones Is the meanest boy / ever knew.
Mamma-What has Tommy been doing
now?
Bobby-I said / was going to be a poet
when l grew up, and he said he'd be an
editor and wouldn't print any of the
poems unless I'd be his horse every time.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21
Old Rnilrond Man Dead.

Bridgeport, Conn, Oct. 14.--John T..
Moody, ex-master of transportation of
the Chicago, Milwaukee and Ct, pSx.
railroad, is dead, aged So.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21

My doctor said l would die but Piso's
Cure for Consumption cured me-
Amos Kelner, Cherry Valley, Ills, Nov.
%, 90
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21
Miss Underhili Wins

Philadelphia, Oct lL--In the fourth
fina senior golf championship o. the
United States. today. Miss Underhill de-
feated Mrs. Fox. Scors. lCI 20 l03
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21

Archduchess Marie Theresa, widow
of the emperor of Austria's second
brother, is said to be the best woman
rifle shot in Europe. She spends al
most all her spare time in hunting.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21

DANGER AHEAD SIGNALLED ny A CuUGu IS avert
ed with HALE's HONEY OF HoREHoUND AND Tan
or Druggists.
Pixies rooTHACHE DROPS Cure f. one Minute,
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21

hTrs. wirsiow's eooruINo SrAuP for children
torthing spftens tho gums, reduces inhammaton
ailaya pain, cures wiAd collie. 4a bottle.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21
To Cure a Cold In Or. IN -

TO Cure Cold In One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
druggists refund the money il it fails to cure
25c. Z. w. Groves signature is on each box
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21

writing to Mrs. Pinkham at Lynn, Mass.
MRS. Cora gibson, Yates, Manistee
Co., Mich, writes:
"DEAR Mrs. PINKHAM-Two years ago
l began having such dull, heavy, drag.
girg pains in my back, menses were pro-
fuse and painful and was troubled with
lvucorrhea. l took patent medicines
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21
DROWNED IN The BOSPORUS.
Sultan Puts Several Inmates of His
Harem to Death

London, Oct. 16.-A special from
Bucharest says the sultan has drowned
in the Bosporus several ladies of the
harem suspected of completely with
members of the young Turkish party.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1899-10-21

u CAPABLE mother must be healthy mother
The experience of maternity shoudnot approached
without careful physical preparation
Correct and practical counsel and wod
be mother needs and this without cost bv
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-02-14

The coward measures difficulties with
a telescope: the brave man with his
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1899-02-14
PARSONS GAS PANIC.
Nothing Like It Has Happened Since
the Strike of 1875

Parsons, Feb. 14.-The Sun says:
Staid old Parsons was hotbed of ex-
element yesterday morning. Men,
women and children got move on
them never before witnessed. The
hello girls at the telephone office
were besieged with Give me the gas
Office" and while the heads of seven
hundred and fifty families were on their
way to the gas office, the wives, sons,
daughters and grandchildren were
plugging away at the telephone, want
ing the gas office, or telling their trou-
bles to their neighbors. Pandemonium
reigned supreme. notwithstanding the
thermometer was near the zero mark,
coatless men and ShawllesS women
were seen hurrying in all directions. 1t
was an occasion that never will be for
gotten, and while it had its ludicrouS
side it was none the less an hour Of
serious anxiety and but for the alert
ness of the people might have proven a
dire calamity.
About 1870 o'clock the users of natural
gas discovered that their fires had gone
out and that no gas was passing
urally created wonder and much I'M
easiness, and consumers at once
sought an explanation from the gas
companys office. The demands over
office force were wholly unable to an
swer them. and the Office of the COM
pany about o'clock was the scene of
the greatest crowd that has gathered in
Parsons since the memorable strike of
1876, all bent on the same inquiry,
What's the matter with the gas?"
Many families were caught getting
breakfast, and one fellow had to con-
tent himself with cakes baked on one
side, while another fellow was busying
himself cussing and putting up a stove,
when his neighbor asked him why he
didn't use his gas stove as there was
nothing wrong with the gas. He was in
the middle of his tale of woe to his
caller when suddenly stopped by his
friend lighting the gas. The stories of
inconvenience embrace $50 customers,
many of them of the most ludicrous ma
ture. and to say that a sigh of relief,
if not prayer, was offered up by the
people when the gas was turned on
would barely express it. They almost
shouted for joy.
The valve was not frozen, but the
Waterman had neglected to put on ex-
ira pressure, as has been his custom
during the present cold weather, and
when he arrived at the station yester-
day found the flow of gas wholly in
adequate to the demand and the supply
was soon exhausted. When he added
more pressure, which is required during
severe winter, the trouble was quickly
removed.