davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13
GIPSYING coTTAGERS.
This Writer Tells Something of the
Delights Of Living Out OF
Doors in the East.

Much of the tediousness of highly civ
ilized life comes from its smoothness
and regularity. To-day is like yester-
day, and we think that we can predict
tomorrow. OF course we cannot really
do so. The chances are still there. But
we have covered them up so deeply with
the artificialities of life that we lose
sight of them. 1t seems as if everything
in our neat little world were arranged
and provided for, and reasonably GER
tain to come to pass. The best way of
escape from this tedium vitae is
through recreation like angling, not
only because it is so evidently mat
ter of luck, but also because it tempts
us out into wilder, freer life. 1t leads
almost inevitably to camping out (which
is a wholesome and sanitary impru-
dence.
1T is curious and pleasant to my APP
prehension TO observe how many peo-
pie in New England, which has been
called, at least in part, the Land OF
Steady Habits, are sensible of the JOY
of changing them-out of doors. They
turn out from their comfortable farm
tages TO go a-gipsying for fortnight
among the mountains or beside the sea.
You see their white tents cleaning
from the pine groves around the little
lakes and catch glimpses of their bath
ing clothes drying in the sun on the
why grass that fringes the sand dunes.
Happy fugitives from the bondage of
routine! They have found out that a
long journey is not necessary TO good
vacation. You may reach the Forest of
Arden in a blackboard. The Fortunate
isles are within sailing distance in a
dory. And voyage on the rived Pac-
tolus is open to anyone who can paddle
canoe.
The people who always live in houses,
and sleep on beds, and walk on pave
ments, and buy their food from butch
ers and bakers and grocers, are not the
most blessed inhabitants of this wide
and various earth. The circumstances
of their existence are too mathemat-
ical and secure for perfect contentment.
They live at second or third-hand They
are boarders in the world. Everything
is done for them by somebody else.
II is almost impossible for anything
very interesting to happen to them.
| They must get their excitement out of
the newspapers, reading of the hair
! breadth escapes and moving accidents
that befall people in real life. What
do these tame ducks really know of the
adventure of living? If the weather is
bad, they are snugly housed. If it is
cold, there is furnace in the cellar. If
they are hungry, the shops are near at
hand. 1t is all as dull, fiat, stale and
Improbable as adding up column of
figures. They might as well be brought
up in an incubator.-Dr. Henry Van
| Dyke, in Century.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13
A Startling Answer.

A Latin professor was explaining the der.
ivation of our word 'ostracise" to his class
in local academy the other day lie told
the story of the early Roman republics and
the scheming of the politicians of the
times. He related how, when any man in
the republic became obnoxious to his neigh
bors, they used to write his name on an
oyster she'll Latin ostreum, she'll, and on
the receipt of a specified number by the
consuls that man was banished, killed OF
otherwise removed in some one of those
pleasant ways the old Romans had. When
he had finished his explanation he said:
Now, the boy here in the front seat,
what did we derive from the old Latin use
Of the shell, which was called ostreum?'
The answer he expected was far from
what he got, for the little student with
spectaces in the front seat arose and de-
livered himself thus:
From the Roman habit of using shells
to get the best of people we derive the
present Coney Island she'll game, which is
g, fascinating and costly sport. Brooklyn
Times.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13
DOWN ON AMERICAN SHOES.
Germany Jealous of Our Rapidly
Growing Trade in That Country
Our shoes Superior.

Now Germany is making an effort to
head off the trade in American shoes
started up by manufacturers in Chicago
and Massachusetts. The newspapers of
the empire are full of attacks on the
foreign product and appeals to patron
ize home industries. They assert the
American shoes are poorly made and of
inferior materials, but Consul Monaghan
at Chemnitz says What are the
facts? Hundreds of Germans who visit
the United States load up with Amer
lean shoes before they return. A shoe
maker in this city to whom pair of
American shoes was given to be mend
ed took them apart TO study the work
manship, made n last from them, and is
now using them as a model.
"One of my acquaintance, seeing the
superior workmanship, elegance, ETC.,
of some shoes sent me from the other
side, ordered IA pairs for himself, fam
lily, and friends. Between American
shoes and those made in this empire
there is actually no comparison. One
pair of our will outwear two pairs of
German make; at least, that has been
my experience.
Every effort is being made TO make
our shoes unpopular in this market.
Some of these efforts seem unfair. Our
shoes are VIGOROUSLY the best offered
anywhere for the price. l have seen
shoes bought in Boston for three dol
lars pair outlast-ke keeping an elegant
appearance all the time two pairs
bought here for 1924 pair.
IF our manufacturers can sell here,
they can sell in markets hitherto held
by the Germans. The great gain is not
market here for, after all. so success
fully do Germans initiate that this mar
let cannot be held long against the eff
forts that will be made to dislodge us.
The advantage will be in winning
markets in South America, the east,
South Africa, and Australia. and in
maintaining a practical monopoly of
the market at home"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13
How to Reach Two Famous Resorts
A, n,,tfno, Hint from, ..0utipg

Fast, safe, superbly equipped and most
carefully governed, one need not wonder
at the great popularity of the New York
Central. No other line affords such faoili.
ties for through travel between the East and
the West as this wonderful fourtracl sys-
tenn In the possession of the Grand Central
Station, located in the heart OF New York
City, and within trifiing distances of all
first-class hotels, this railway offers greater
advantages than competing lines. Spring,
summer, autumn and winter, it has attrac-
tions irresistible. The great Northern Will
derness, the playground of the State, now
beckons its thousands. As autumn falls,
Americas scenic masterpiece, farfamed
Niagara, will claim its annual host of pill
grims with its majestic power, the fierce
turmoil of the Whirlpool and all the pic
turesque surroundings, the awesome Cave of
the Winds and several other minor attrac-
tons Of the vicinity. And when winter
comes, then the entire scene transformed to
what seems a fairyland of marvellous frost
dressings, of icy forts and snowy palaces;
of cleaning crystal prison barriers vainly
striving to bind the roaring, foaming plunge
of water-will present a spectacle of weird,
mysterious beauty which is not duplicated
in the world.-Outing.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13
CIRCUS FOR CHARITY
New-Fangled Entertaii ment Quite
Popular in the East.
Some Memories of Dnn Rice, the Ven
cradle King of Clowns and Orig
inator of the One-Horsc
show.
Especial washington letter.

fave you been TO the circus this year?
Or hasn't the circus come around yet?
When some of the fathers and mothers
of the present day were boys and girls
the circuses moved very slowly.
In those good old days the elephants
aided the horses in pulling the wagons
and cages along the country roads, for
the circuses were nomadic caravan
saries. Nowadays the cireuses travel
on railroad trains. But from the day the
first bills are posted until the day Of the
arrival of the circus is probably just as
long as il used 10 be to the little ones
Of the former generation.
The circuses of the present day are
really travelling vaudeville shows with
animal attachments. The menageries
have become essential features of each
show, but formerly the circus consisted
only of a few trained horses, men and
women riders, a ringmaster, a single
ring and a clown. There were no ex-
pensive adjuncts to the original cir
Gus.
St. Patriek's church in the national
capital has an institute for young men,
social and educational organization,
called Carroll institute. The young men
give public debates, public entertain
ments, and resort to all manner of
ehurchly devices for maintaining hem
selves in an organization. Not long ago
they gave what they called "A Country
Circus" and il was indeed a very at
tractiye affair, worthy of description.
In large room they erected a tent.
When ticket holders entered the door
they stepped beneath the canvas. There
was ring with sawdust all over II,
center pole with acrobatic rigging at
tached to il, small brass band dis
coursed circus music, and the tiers of
common board seats were soon filled
with boys and girls. and few Older
people At the appointed hour dozen
men and women, gayly dressed in
tights, mounted on gaudily-trapped
horses, came into the ring from the
dressingroom, and pranced about the
place, just as the genuine actors used
to do, so many years ago. There was
funny clown, with baggy trousers,
painted face and impudent manners.
There was trick mule, and seeming
ly drunken man to ride it, who was ar
rested and thrown out by an alleged
policeman.
During the performance a typical
hayseed greenhorn came walking about
the ring. lie was warned by the ring
master that he must take a seat, so that
other people could see the show. lie
paid no heed to the warning. and the
policeman threw him out. As he went
flying through the door, the big bass
drum sounded, and it seemed as though
the hayseed had fallen down several
flights of stairs.
This is novel sort of performance,
and it proved TO be so attractive that it
was repeated several times, 10 please
the public This fact suggested to the
narrator the idea of writing about il,
not merely as a national capital affair,
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13
Recognized His own TablecIoth,

The head Of one of the largest dry goods
houses in Chicago noticed one day recently
in passing through his linen department a
particularly beautiful table cloth He
stopped to admire the texture of the linen
and remarked to the clerk in charge Of the
counter that the cloth seemed to him the
handsomest they had ever had in stock.
Next day he noticed that the beautiful
cloth was not in the show case and was
told by the clerk that it had been sold On
the evening Of the same day he dined at
the house of friend, who is prominent in
social affairs. Passing through the linen
department on the third morning he saw
the splendid tablecloth again hanging in
the show case. II thought that cloth was
sold" he said to the clerk 1T was, sir,
but it was returned this morning as not
satisfactory" II am surprised at that,
was the answer, "for / dined off that cloth
last night and heard no fault found with it. -
Detroit Free Press
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13

Mining engineers agree that the limit
TO which shafts may be sunk into the
earth with the present machinery and
equipments is 10000 feet. The deepest
shaft ever dug is the one now in exist
ence in one of the copper mines on
Lake Superior. 1t has sheer depth
of 5000 feet. DIR. A. &. Lane, the as
sistant geologist for Michigan, in an
article in Mineral Industry on How
Deep Can We Mine?" places the prob
able limit at 10000 feet, He sees, how
ever, that enormously rich deposits
might lead man to dig to $4,000 feet
with profit The element of danger is
not considered in these calculations.
In conclusion he says: 1.-THE present
knowledge cannot foresee reaching a
depth of 10000 feet. Chicago Inter
Ocean,
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13
UNINTENTIONAL HUMOR.
LauEhabic Answers Found i'm some
scotch Students Examination
Papers.

| A government report which has Just
been issued giving the results of eX-
aminations held at Scotch training col
| leges during the year of grace 1898
! furnishes some exceptionally funny
reading. One student, for instance,
distinguished himself in a paper deal
| ing with authors and the dates of their
works by boldly declaring that Rus
! llin's principal work was John Gilpin.
| and that Bede wrote The History of
the Reformation" in the ninth century;
while another ventured the information
that Nickname" was formed from
Nick, an old name of the evil one
Some of the descriptions of the duck
were even more comical. One of the
examiners somewhat seathingly OBJ
serves that in regard to this familiar
deuizen of the farmyard pond THE
notes of lessons were of the all-too-com-
mon type That the duck has two eyes.
two wings. two feet, bin and tail
was all that most of them contained"
These were correct, If not ambitious ef-
forts, but when the writers wandered
further afieId. they appeared to have
Houndered somewhat. As for example:
The eyes (of the duck1 arc small, be-
cause they have TO see very small things.
the mother duck is called drake.
THE principal use of ducks is to
make chicken broth for in,alids.
Here are couple of queer answers
from history papers:
'.'The bishops who protested against
the declaration of indulgence We're the
Presbyterian ones of Scotland.
Anyone aiding the pretender in any
way for another rising was 20 be ac-
cused of treason and punished by being
eNiled and beheaded. :
According TO another: THE COM
mons in the time Of Henry VIII. Grip
pied their powers by ascribing to Henry
all power in both Heaven and earth"
and to another; James II. taxed the
people numerically"
For sweet confusion the following
answer hy pupil teacher may be re-
garted as taking the palm:
The Scots raised rebellion under
the earl of Mar. 4 Slight rising took
place at Prestonpans ll745l. and the
Scots eompletely defeated the royalists
It Culolen. 1896 The king agreed to
sign the solemn league and cosenant,
md granted money to suppress any
more risings. London Leader.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13
u1rMANE TETHER.

shows light framework of inch-by.
inch stuff, or laths, over which piece
of cotton cloth or burlap can be tackled.
1t can be attached to the hitching post
just high enough to clear the animals
back. The COW or calf will be grateful
for its shade, and in the case of a calf
it will make much better growth. The
revolving piece of wood about the post
about which the rope is tied is device
for preventing the animal from wind
ing its rope around its hitching post
n Y Tribune
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13
Meant Wen.

The pleasant-faced, kind-hearted
young man in the end seat noticed that
The middle-aged man sitting close to
him was intoxicated.
He noticed also that he was about to
leave the car block or two before
reaching his destination.
With the spirit of self-sacrifce COM
mon TO generous, impetuous youth, he
restrained the unfortunate inebriate
and stepped down on the running board
himself for the purpose of assisting
him off the car at the right crossing.
Then his foot slipped.
There was mudhole handy.
There always is.
The generous-hearted young man fell
into II.
The conductor hurriedly stopped the
car.
And then the middle-aged inebriate
leisurely climbed down, and shouted
with thick-tongued utterance to the
sef-sacrificing young man, who, coy
cred with mud, was slowly picking him
selp up:
.'You fool! Look at me get off! -
Cleveland Leader.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13
Bnrbcd Wire for Italian Vineyards.

The use of barbed wire is increasing
largely in southern Italy. 1t is used for
trailing vines and is found of great
service in keeping thieves out of the
vineyards after dark. The vines being
in many cases only a few feet apart.
il is a matter of considerable difficulty
to avoid the barbs, even in the day
time, and at night il is practically inn
possible. The wire need be only
of the lightest kind, as the lengths used
are comparatively short and no cattle
have to be contended with.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13
Could remember some Things.

Travelling Missionary-And how many
children have you, Mr.. Burdock?
Farmer Burdock (doubtfully) - Well
now, dunno. There's Dick and John anC
Kate-wife, how many children are there
around here?
His Wife-Nine; FIVE boys and four girls
Travelling Missionary-A fine family anC
a fine farm, Mr. Burdock. You keep stock
| presume? 49,
Farmer Burdoek-Oh. yes; I've got ~
head Of Jersey cattle, $50 sheep and 81 hogs
N. Y. World.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13
cnrious Custom.

In China it is the custom for guests at din
ners to run around between the courses. This
Is supposed to keep the Diner digestion "
American needs something else, and there Is
nothing better than Hostetters Stomach
Bitters. If a man or woman is suffering
with constipation, indigestion or any stom-
ach trouble, it's their fault if they don't get
well. Hostetters Stomach Bitters viii cure
them. See that a private Revenue Stamp
covers the neck Of the bottle.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13
MODERN TREE SURGERY.
Park, Chicago, Was successfully
Bolted Together.

The life of a tree, partly shattered by
lightning, is often saved by boiling 10
gether the portions Of the riven trunk
A large box elder in Washington park
split by thunderbolt during one OF
the recent storms, was subjected to that
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13
The ono ExceptIon.

He--To hear you tell it one would think
never told single truth before we were
married
She-Well, you did prevaricate to a consid-
cradle extent, but IN give you credit for hav-
ing told me the truth once
Indeed! And when was that, pray%
When YOU proposed Don't you remem-
Der you said you were unworthy Of me -
Chicago Evening News.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13

A young gentleman of about ten
summers, whose name we know but
viii not divulge for the sake of his
parents, recently fell so far from grace
as to steal three kittens from this
Office. The theft was committed in or
der that he might betsow the felines
upon his sweetheart, who has fail
ing for such priceless treasures. Such
is loye.-Ri.ers;de Magazine.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13
A HUMANE TETHER.
1T Prevents the Animal from Winding
the Rope Around the Post, and
Affords Shade.

Animals that are hitched out to Craze
at the end of rope rarely have shade
to seek in the middle of the day. as they
cannot be hitched near trees for fear
of winding themselves up" The cut
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13

First Statesman-D'd you know that
over S19.000.000 year was the amount
stolen by the Spanish customs officials
in Havana?
Second Statesman-siay, it will never
do for us who viii leave people who
Will stand that in the hands OF some one
eIse.-Indianapolis Journal
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13
Comnnrjnp Notes

''My husband, +" said the little lady, with
pardonabe pride, bought me a season seat
in the highest-prieed theater in the city"
A mere trife sighed the imposing call.
er. My husband bought a seat in the
United States senate and il cost more than
the whole theater you're talking about. -
Detroit Free Press.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13

mending process and it is predicted that
it will survive. Near it stands another
tree of the same species, the trunk anc
main branches of which were bolted to.
ggther after being torn asunder by the
lightning five years ago, and the tree
has not only withstood the tempests
of the many seasons since, but bids fair
to east its summer shade for years to
come.-Chicago Daily News.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13
Ladies Can wear SHOES

One size smaller after using Aliens Foot
Ease, powder for the feet. ltmakes tight
or new shoes easy. Cures swollen, hot,
sweating, aching feet, ingrowing nails, corns
and bunions. At all druggists and shoe
stores. pc. Trial package FREE by mail.
Address Allen s. 0lnsted, lie Roy, N. Y
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13
Not on Their Honeymoon.

4 married couple were touring in
Sicily. AT a distance from one of the
large towns the wife said
think, Albert, if the brigands should
come now and take me from you."
Impossible my dear."
But, supposing they did come and
carry me away. what would you say 2"
4 should say. replied her husband.
"that the brigands were new at the
business-that's all. Rial
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13
This Rapid Age.

Percy Quick Sir. love your daugh.
ter and want to marry her.
The Father How long has this beer
going on. young man?
-Oh. as far back as early Yesterday
morning.- Philadelphia North Amer
Jean.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13

An experiment of several years dura-
ton regarding the effect of the age OF
COW on the yield and quality of milk
seems to show in general that the yield
Of milk and butter fat together in
creases up 10 and including the fifth
calving, after which it gradually de-
creases, although there are, of course.
exceptions in the case of individual
cows. The milk is richest in butter fas
after the third and fourth calvings.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13

Cleverton-I want to consult your
opinion on a point Of etiquette. When
n take girl to luncheon. is it proper to
ask her what she wants to eat2
Dashaway-If is. if You have money
BROOKLYN Life.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13

Il hear that Henpec has resigned"
Yes. We made the cian too hot to
hold him; al last, 50 he says
How
'.Had a ladies day and invited his
wife. N. Y. World
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13

Worth Looking 1nto.-W illioboy pa,
what mixed metaphor Pat new
one on me. III ask my bartender when | SO
down town. Philadelphia North Ameri-
can
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13

Suicide is an undignified perform
ance.
What do you mean p
1T is an acknowledgment that man
can't endure his own society. - CEica-
90 Daily Record.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13

4 Michigan man has been telling How to
Enjoy Country Life" It's easy Let the
other fellows owe the amount OF the mort
gages-Augusta (Ga.) Herald.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13

I She--'I'm sure I've cast my bread on the
water many time, and i don't see any re-
suits He-"Go: guess your bread would
! sink, dear ''-Y onkers Statesmtn.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13

She-'T wouldn't marry you if you we're
the last man on earth" He" You woudn I
get chance I'd surely have my pick then
Philadelphia Bulletin.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13

Watts-I see Tesla now claims he can
telegraph clear around the world and
without wires.
Potts Clear around the world?
should think il would be cheaper to
just telegraph across the room. In
dianapolis Journal.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1899-07-13
Previou.Iy Acauainted.

Our old bookkceper says he is max
ing POO month al his new place
..les 200 mistakes. Chicago Daily
Record.