Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1899-08-16
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cause it's heaven ~ a,s
Flm-whats your bu .ssi Flah
Contractor. Film Nh inef ram
Debts Town Topics.
Teacher Willie, whey Is the eapi'a'
of the United States9 Willie Todate-
In the trusts.-Town Yoplcs.
And 1.-the of limb: frraveler-Aret tho
mosquitoes thick around here? Sub
urbanite- No; long and slim.-Llre.
Briggs I've got splendid story to
tell at the club dinner tonight. Griggs
Which one is 1t? Detroit Free Press.
"Yes, poor Mrs Gabber died an un-
speakably hard DEATH" What killed
her?' "Lockja Bull
letn.
Doesn't 1t cost you a good deal to
run this yacht, old man?" Yes; but
my wife can't spend cent when she's
here. Life.
Tenant-But does the chimney al
ways smoke like thisf Landlord-Oh,
no! Only when there's a fire In tho
CRATE Exchange.
Editor-Dld you write these jokes
yourself? Would-be Contributor-Ye
sir Edltor-You must be older than
you look.-Criterion.
The little dressmaker who WAS walk
bull. said she guessed she'd better cut
bias TO avoid II gore,2Bazar.
Good Man-Do you know where little
boys go who smoke cigarettes? Bad
Boy-Yep! Dey goes out in de wood
shed.-Chicago News. ~
Squtf-The cycle Is supersedlng the
horse everywhere. Bitf-Yes; found
a piece OF pneumatic tire In my susage
this morning Tit-Bits.
"My curiosity is running away with
me-" said the farmer. when his two
| headed calf broke loose and towed
| him around the barnyard.-Ex.
| Jaggles -"He's the greatest living
authority on ratlesnakes. Waggles-
That isn't saying much; most Of the
authorities don't live long.-Puck.
Orator-No, gentlemen; tell you that
! If you want thing to be done we'll,
you must always do 1t yourself. Voice
from the crowd - How about getting
your hair cut ?-Ex.
Mamma Cat the breakfast table)-Iou
always ought to use your napkin,
George. Georgie-I am usin' 1t, mann
ma; I've got the dog tied to the leg Of
the table with it-Ex.
Smith-What! Are you learning to
fence, Jones? Jones--Y es; you see I'm
going to a peace conference, and it's
just as we'll to be prepared Boston
Globe.
Mrs. Lash-What did you get baby
for a birthday present? Mrs Rash
took SO out of the little darling's bank
and bought him this lovely lamp for the
drawing g-roomTid- Bits.
At the Royal Academy:"This portrait
makes her look prettier than she did
when l met her, Jane?" "Of course.
ma, the artist paints so much better
than she does" Pick Me-Up.
Attorney (sternly)-The witness will
please state II the prisoner was in the
habit of whistlng when alone. Witness
i don't know; | was never with the
prisoner when he was alone.-Ex.
Amy (readng)-He gave her jew
sled v-i-n-a-i-g-r.e-tt-e- do you pro-
nounce that, Uncle Isaac? Uncle
Isaac (gruffiy)-l pronounce 1t down
right foollshness.-Jew Weekly.
II thought" said the disappointed
friend, you told me this election was
going to be a walkover." WELL" an
swered the former candidate, 'it was.
| was the doorstep. Washington Star.
In Boston: "How much are these
string beans" "Seventyfve cents a
quart" Isn't that rather altitudin-
ous?" Eyes, madam. but these are
very highstrung beans. Yale Record.
Il don't know why you should say
that empty house is haunted" why,
don't you see those ancient window
curtains?" Yes, but" "Weil,
aren't they the shades of the depart
ed ?"-Boston Post.
Wayfarer Ito the robber)-I haven't
any money with me, I'm sorry to say,
but | will be glad to advise all my
friends and acquaintances to take
walks along this lonely path hereafter.
--fliegende Blaetter.
Johnnie-What Is hereto, paf
Father-A hereto, my son, is d person
who has wrong beliefs. J0hnnie-Then
II ma believed what you tell her when
you come home late. would she be
hereto New York Journal.
Widow Farley - Do ye moind ths
beautiful bokay Mr.. Googan. presinted
me this mawnn'? All the poor mon!
His wolfe died jst tin days ago. Widow
Murphy Begorra, they kipt we'll,
didn't they. .-Harper's Weekly.
"These are this years pecans, are
they?' "Yes, SIR How much are
they?" "Six cents pound How
much are those in the next barrel!'