davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20
A HEALTH BOOM,
A Wave of Prosperity and Physical Well
Being Floods the Whole Country.
Enthusiastic Statements from American Citizens Every.
where Who Are Anxious to Inform the World
How Well They Feel.

The great secret of gaining health and
keeping 1t after it has been attained has
been discovered and the news has swept
across the whole United States, causing a
perfect boom Of health. The secret inter
ests not only those who are i'll, but those
who are well, for to maintain health I'LL
bowels, keep your liver lively, and purify
your system and blood with an antiseptic
dlslnfectant! That's all there is to it, but
known until the discovery of Cascarets
Candy Cathartic, the ideal modern scien-
tific laxative. Hear what few of the
happy ones have to say:
Il am user of Cascarets and think there
Is nothing like them" Mrs. Lottie Pfeiffer
Arlington, Neb.
II have used Cascarets in my family and
there is nothing like them. recommend
them to everyone" w. j. Berguin, Hum
boldt, S. D.
I'VE have been using Cascarets in our
family since last spring and cannot do with
out them" Mrs j. c. Jameson, Poynette,
Wis.
II use Cascarets and could not get along
without them. My husband uses and rec
oommends them in his practice" Mrs. DR..
Nyce, So Ontario ST.. Cohoes, N. Y.
L take pleasure in recommending Cas-
carets. They are the most wonderful medi-
cal preparation l ever used. Cascarets work
ike magic, and never fail John S. Rice,
Il Seymour ST., philadelphia Pa.
am firm believer in Cascarets. They
are the best cathartic l ever used" Tom
holt, Wildwood, Manitoba.
1 do not think there is anything better
Ioa CONSTIPATION than Cascarets. recon-
mend them to all my friends Minnie f..
McCumb, Mianus. Conn
take pleasure In letting you know what
GOOD your Cascarets have done for me.
suffered with constipation, pain in the stom-
ach and dizziness for two years and tried
most all kinds OF medicines. A friend ad-
vlsed me to try Cascarets. So bought a
1Oc box, and after using them / felt great
relief, and am now entirely we'll" s. Could
81 Durfor St. Philadelphia, Pa
over i've million boxes of Cascarets sold
last year proves their merit. Buy and try
q box today. Toe. 25c soc, all Druggists
Booklet and sample free. Address Sterling
remedy Company. Chicago or New York.
<yzvyvwu This is the CASCARET tablet
Every tablet of the only genuine
M@M II 80 Cascarets bears the magic letters
EA~AwAr# Gee" Look at the tablet before
E% you buy, and beware Of frauds
%2kW limitations and substitutes
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20
The John Nj. Smyth Co. Have No
Agents.

The well-merited popularity of the
great mail order establishment of the
John NJ. Smyth Co. of Chicago seems to
have induced INSCRIPTIONS parties to go
through the country and falsely repre-
sent themselves as sales agents for this
house. By thus representing themselves
they have succeeded in imposing upon
and notes from victims who actually be-
lieved they were purchasing goods from
the representatives of the firm direct.
The John M. Smyth Co. have no agents
and denounce as frauds all parties trav-
cling through the country and claiming
to represent the firm. The public should
be ON the lookout for such impostors.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20
Dream of o. Stolen Pump.

The milkman turned uneasily in his
sleep.
He moaned and muttered, and emitted
a gurgling shrek that reused his wife.
Shaking him by the shoulder, she
Weakened him.
What on earth is the matter with
your she asked
''Oh," he exclaimed, while great beads
of perspiration dotted his brow. Il have
had the most terrible dream"
What was it?"
Il dreamed the pump had been stolen
Baltimore American.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20
Rare Biological Specimen.

Naturalists will be interested to learn
that magnificent specimen of the egg
of the AepyOrnis MaXimus has arrived
in London from Madagascar, where ii
was discovered by the natives buried in
the sand. This biological curiosity is the
largest known to exist, and measures
nearly yard in circumference, and over
a foot in length. Its cubical capacity is
equal TO nearly six ostrich or $50 hens
eggs. Specimens of this gigantic produc-
ton have occasionally been met with in
London. where they have fetched as
much as f70 apiece.-London Telegraph.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20
Didn'G Relieve II.

An lola soldier relates that one day
Gen. Otis came out on the firing line and
ordered the shooting to cease A Kansas
boy, who thought he was doing all sorts
of damage to the insurgents, kept on
shooting. Didn't you hear my command
to cease fring?" Numbered the general.
''Who are your" asked the soldier. I'm
Gen. Otis. ''Otis, hell, responded the
soldier; Il know that isn't so; Otis never
comes out here" And bang went the
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20
The Organ in Church.

Ian Maclaren' will have an article
on THE Minister and the Organ" in
the January Ladies' Home Journal. Il
is known that the famous author-preach
er regards the organ-or more directly
put, the music--as the most prolific
source of trouble i'll churches, and he i:
never more interesting and forceful thar
when decrying an evil and prescribing {
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20
Try Grain-O! Try Grain-O!

Ask your Grocer today to show you a
package of GRAINO, the new food
drink that takes the place of coffee. The
children may drink it without injury as
well as the adult. All who try it like it,
GRAIN-O has that rich seal brown of
Mocha or Java, but it is made from pure
grains, and the most delicate stomach re-
ceives it without distress. "A the price of
coffee. 15c and 25c per package Sold
by all grOcerS
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20
What Do the Children Drink ?

Don't give them tea or coffee. Have
you tried the new food drink called
GRAIN-O? 1t is delicious and nourish-
ing, and takes the place of coffee. The
more Grain-O you give the children the
more health you distribute through their
systems. GrainO is made of pure grains,
and when properly prepared tastes like
the choice grades of coffee, but costs
about "a as much. All grocers sell it. 15c
and 25c
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20
Beware of Ointments for Catarrh
that Contain Mercury,

as mercury will surely destroy the sense of
smell and completely derange the whole
system when entering it through the mu-
cous surfaces. Such articles should never
table physicians, as the damage they will
do is tenfold to the good you can possibly
derive from them. Halls Catarrh Cure,
manufactured by Il. j. Cheney & Co., To-
ledo o.. contains no mercury, and is taken
internally. acting directly upon the blood
and mucous surfaces of the system. In
buying Halls Catarrh Cure be sure you get
the genuine. 1t is taken internally and
made in Toledo. Ohio, by +. j. Cheney Il
Co. Testimonials free.
Sold by druggists. price Toe Der bottle
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20
Medals for Washerwomen.

To the institution of orders, medals and
diplomas in France there is no limit. The
washerwomen, to be sure, occupy con-
spicuous position on the Seine. and have
PLAYED an important part in the life of
Paris, especially in revolutionary periods.
They are nearly as formidable as the
market women. The government has es
tabished this new order, and awarded
twelve medals The important duty of
distributing the diplomas to the prize
washerwomen is discharged by the mir
istry of commerce.-Dundee Journal.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20
BirthpIace of the Twentieth Centur,

The cradle Of the new century is re-
mote, isolated quarter of the globe where
there are few people to hail it's birth.
In that country the Twentieth century
will be an infant of quiet considerable
growth before time can speed it's dawn
ing into the next nearest habitation of
man. John Richie, Jr., will tell Where
the New Century Will Really Begin in
the January Ladies' Home Journal.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20
The Cause of Chapped Hands

Much of the discomfort experienced
from chapped hands in winter is caused
by washing with inferior soap, the ingrc
dents being highly injurious to the skin
1t is therefore important to have pure
soap. If warm rain water and Ivory
soap be used in washing the hands they
may be Kept clean and smooth at all sea
sons. ELIZA r. PARKER.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

PisO's Cure for Consumption is an es-
pecially good medicine for Croup.-Mrs
NJ: r. Ayent, Jonesboro, Texas, May
9th 1901
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

tened for market without being fed grain and
without days shelter. Send for information and
secure a free home in Western Canada. Write to
#. Pedey, Supt. immigration, Ottawa Canada, or
the undersigned, who will mail you aliases. pam
phlets, etc, free of cost: c. J. Broughton, 1928
Stevens Point, Wis, Agts. for Govt Of Canada.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

The favorite indoor recreation of the
Duke of York is whist playing. He is
a capital player.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20
Lanes Family Medicine

Moves the bowels each day. In order
to be healthy this is necessary. Acts
gently ON the liver and kidneys. Cures
sick headache. Price % and SOC.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

II. Il. Lansing has been appointed
minister of finance Of Hawaii, to succeed
5. Nj. Damon, whose resignation was
sent from Rome, Italy. The appoint
ment was made by President Dole.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

One of the most beautiful natural
rock carvings in the world is the South
ern Cross on the island of Grand Manan,
in the Bay OF Fundy. 1t stands at the
head of a ledge of rocks jutting into the
bay at the southern end of the Grand
Manan. Its shape is that of an almost
perfect cross.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

To Cure a Cold in One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets.
All druggists refund the money if it fails
to cure. 25c. E. w. Groves signature
is on each box
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

Miss Ellen Terry delights in keeping
anniversaries, and never forgets the birth
and wedding days of any Of her intimate
friends.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20
SPINNING WHEEL.

A PESSIMISTIC PREFERENCE.
/ would not be a hero?
Not on your life;
And have the public roast me,
Because I liked
My wife.
Nay, nay! / do not
Care for any hero biz in mine
/ do not yearn
For laurelS
About my brow to Irvine.
/ have no surging longings
Or secret,
Deep desire to be
A nations idol.
Not much!
You could not hire me
To accept house and lot,
Or any loving cups,
Or see my name
Bestowed upon the public's babes
And pups.
Excuse me!
/ would rather not
Have the nation
Rise and sing my praises
Loudly,
And laud me to the skies.
They needn't
Rustic round and get
A golden sword
For me,
Nor mention me for President
/ do not want it
See?
No, sir!
If you should deal me
Such cards as that-itS grand
TO think of
For moment-but
/ guess
I'd pass the hand.
''Publicity's fierce white light
Sounds well
TO say 1.-THE public
Rubber-necked.'
These swords and cups
And houses
And resolutions fine
May be all right. but as for me
/ don't want them
In mine.
The only kind of hero
Who can hold upon his head
The laurelS
And the bay-leaveS
Is the hero who is dead.
SO, let them have
Their medals
Enough to fill a tub
But there isn't
Half the worry, if you're
Just d common
Dub" Baltimore American.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

Frogs and toads are gifted with re-
markable acute sense of hearing.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

American condensed milk is gaining
a foothold in the Asiatic markets. 1t is
rapidly supplanting the German product
in JaDan
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

VITALITY low debitated or exhausted cured
Bottle containing weeks' treatment. DR.. Kline's
Institute 91 Arch Street, Philadelphia Founded 1871
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

New municipal buildings at Norwich,
England, are proposed by the corporation
at cost of 100000.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20
Millions of Acres

or Choice Agricultural
Lands now opened for
settlement in Western
Canada. Here is grown
the celebrated No. 1 Hard
Wheat, which brings the
highest price in the mar
kets of the word. Thou
candc ~ oat+lo opn FOE
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

90 Per Cent. Saved to out-of-town students
Write for particulars. HOFFMANN'S Metropolitan
Business College, Third and State Streets Milwaukee
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

Mrs. WinsrOw'S SOOTHING SYRUP for children
teethng. sOftens the gums, reduces Inflammation,
allays pain, cures wind collie 25c bottle
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

Rev. John G. Patton, the oldest mis-
sionary to the New Hebrides. is lectur-
ing in Eastern states to the churches.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

The Congo region exports about 81
100000 walking sticks year.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

"A Suldll 10y lIOllI TIC SlulllS udu UeCll
brought into the mission school, and for
a couple of Sundays he had been instruct
ed in the rudiments, relates the Memphis.
Commercial Appeal. On the third Sun
day he brought with him his brother Will
liam. TO test his memory the teacher be-
! gan to go over the previous lessons.
WHO made your she asked.
Cod" he replied, promptly.
''And what else did God make?'
The youngster studied for a moment
and looked around hopelessly till he no
ticed his brother; then his face right
ened. He made Bill, too, l guess he
answered triumphantly.
Mamma said little Bessie, Just after
attending services at church, ARE people
who sit in the middle aisles wickeder
than those at the side?"
Certainly not, dear. Why?"
Because the preacher only preached
to them."-Columbus CO., State Journal.
''Do you know, Margaret said a Co
lumbus father to his 1S-year-old daugh-
ter the other morning, that it was after
y o'clock last night when that young
man left here|'
"Oh, it couldn't have been, papa"
But it was. Now don't let that hap
pen again"
But, papa, couldn't tell him to leave.
I did nothing to entertain Mr.. Staylate
except to show him my scrapbook.''
"Well, I'll bring home my account
book this evening, with the dry goods,
millinery and dressmaker expenses bal
anced up If he calls again show him
hat''-Ohio State Journal
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

Kemp's Balsam will stop the cough at
once. Go to your druggist today and get
sample bottle free. Sold in % and 80
cent bottles. Go at once; delays are dam
gerOuS
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20
Cures
Hard Coughs

No matter how hard your
cough is OF how long you have
had ii. Ayers Cherry Pectoral
is the best thing you could
possibly take. But it's too
risky to wait until you have
consumption. fer sometimes it's
impossible TO cure this disease.
If you are coughing soday.
don't wait until tomorrow. but
get a bottle of Cherry Pee
tora1 at once and be relieved.
1t strengthens weak lungs.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

Australia has on the ayearae one hos
pital for 1929 persons.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

The following is extracted from an es-
say written by schoolboy, aged 10, on
curled his mustarsh and seeing the pure
vurgin shreeks ha ha be mine or deaths
blud is on my head this dagger stabs thee
to thy utermost sole ha ha yengunze.
But the good hero comes and says o hev
ing hevins stur won step and thy ded
body lies at my door. Lay one parm or
the vurgins korpse and it was better il
you was drowned with milestone.
Avarnt varnt from the sweet korpses
presunz. '-Tit-Bits.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

WHEN THE "BIRDS" GET GAY.
Sing a song of siXpence, pocket full Of
rye,
Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a
pie;
When the pie was opened the birds began
to sing,
annie Rooney Comrades and all that
sort of thing. Harlem Life.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

1t was a wet day, the streets were
sloppy, and Gus Reder and Graham Nc
Farlane stood watching the maneuvers of
the women as they engineered their long
phis Scimitar.
II always think the women should be
permitted great liberty in the matter of
raising the skirts in wet weather." re
marked Mr.. Reder.
''That sop responded Graham, in an
interrogatory tone.
how high they ought to be raised''
How high do you make it?'
"A little over two feet
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

"The kind of drummer we want is q
convincing talker who has large circle
of friends"
You'll not find him."
"Why not?"
Convincing takers never have a
large circle of friends. indianapolis
Journal.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20
THE HONEST GOLFERS PRAYER.

THE HONEST GOLFERS PRAYER.
From the many bad lies upon the links
st. Andrew guard me still,
From the lie in sand and the cuppy lie,
And the lie on the steep side hill;
From the lie in grass and the stymed lie,
And the lie of the gofing bore:
But of all bad lies | pray thee grace
From the lie about the score.
Boston Transcript.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

She went to see the football game,
She tailed every score,
She knew the players all by name;
She'd seen them oft before.
She shouted: "Off side! Tackle low"
She cheered at every run.
The only thing she didn't know
Was just which team had won!
Philadelphia Record.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20
My
Mother
Had
Consumption

my mother was troubled
with consumption for many
years. At last she was given
up to die. A neighbor told her
not to give up but try Ayers
Cherry Pectora1. She did so
and was speedily cured. and is
now in the enjoyment Of good
health. D. P. jolly.
Feb. ,. 1899. Avoea. n. Y.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20
.What are you doing, children?' she

'What are you doing, children?' she
inquired.
1--WE are playing Adam and Eve in the
garden of Eden" answered the elder of
the two.
A search for the youngest found him
in an adjoining room, in the same un-
draped condition.
'Why, what are you doingg' exclaimed
the astonished mother.
I'm only God, and I've got to put them
out of the garden of Eden,' was the re-
ply.-HartfOrd COurant.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

Three sizes: &c., enough for an ordinary
cold; Soc, just right for asthma, bronchitis,
hoarseness, whooping-cough, hard colds;
S.0O, most economical for chronic cases
and to keep on hand.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

Here is Il respecta ble-iooking middle
aged woman, says the Contemporary Re-
view; twenty times at least she had been
sent to varying terms of Imprisonment
for stealing from Shops an incorrigible
shoplifter she is termed; and SO thought
till came to understand her. Repeated
ly as she was charged, the pathos of the
whole thing grew upon me. Her silence
in the dock and her tears in the cells
were irresistible. So we became friends,
and she told me her secret l found re-
spectacle lodgings for her, hired a sewing
machine and secured her plenty of work.
She was not idle, and was soon beyond
the necessity of stealing. | flattered my
self we were on the way to success, and
l said to her. ''Your devil shall be cast
out" when all of q sudden the old Of.
Tense was repeated and again to prison
she went. My heart went out to the
wretched creature as she sat in the cell
| could not condemn her, for | knew
With a piteous look into my face she
said, Don't blame me, Mr.. Holmes
don't blame me; can't help it. / would
if / could. but / must steal boots''
Knowing this, / had provided her lib
orally with boots TO minimize the tempta-
ton. but all in vain; and, so far as
could ascertain, she had never stolen any
thing but boots.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

'"Theres something wrong about this
story" said the editor. you commence
by saying The father and his family
were chatting about the cheerful fire.
side and yet, further ON, you say they
lived in an apartment house,
the manuscript and making some marks
ON it, ''how will that do?''
The changed manuscript read thus:
THE father and his family were chat
tering on the top of the cheerless radi-
ator. '-Yonkers Statesman.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1899-12-20

A well-known politician who lives in a
nearby. town has three very bright and
frequently tells them some Bible story
before undressing and putting them TO
bed for the night, while the father is pos
sibly reading a detailed account of the
latest prize fight. The other night, after
their usual religious instruction, the
mother went into the nursery to undress
the children, and. to her surprise, found
the eldest two entirely unclothed.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-02-02
Regardless OF Age.

The kidneys are responsible for more
sickness. suffering, and deaths than ally
other organs Of the body.
\ majority of the ills affecting people
to-day is traceable to kidney trouble. II
pervades all classes Of society, in all
climates, regardless OF age, sex or con.
dltion.
The symptoms of kidney trouble are
unmiStakable, such as rheumatism, neu-
ralgia, sleeplessness. pain or dull ache in
the back. desire to urinate often day
or night. profuSe or scanty supply.
Uric acid, or brickdust deposit in
urine are signs of clogged kidneys, caus-
ing poisoned and germ-flled blood
Sometimes the heart acts badly, and
tube casts (waSting of the kidneys are
found in the urine, which if neglected
will result in Bright's Disease, the most
dangerous form of kidney trouble.
All these symptoms and conditions are
promptly removed under the influence Of
DR.. Kilmer's Swamp-Root 1t has a
world wide reputat ton for its wonderful
cures Of the most distressing cases.
No one need be long without ii as it is
so easy to get at any drug store at fifty
cents or one dollar You can have a
sample bottle of this wonderful discov-
cry, Swamp-Root. and book telling all
about it, both sent to you absolutely free
by mail. Send your address 10 DIR. Kill
mer Il Co. BinghamIon, y. Y. and
kindly mention that you read this lib
eral offer in the Shepherdstown Regis.
ter
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1899-02-02
Dancers of The Grip.

The greatest danger from La Grippe
is of Its resulting IN pneumonia. II
reasonable care is used, however, and
Chamberlain's Cough R-medy taken,
all danger will be avoided. Among
the tens of thousands who have used
this remedy for la grippe We have yet
to learn of a single case having
resulted in pneumonia, which shows
conclusively that this remedy is GER
tain preventive of that dangerous dis
ease. 1t will cure la grippe in less
time than any other treatment. 1t
is pleasant and safe to take. For sale
at Remnants Pharmacy.