Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1899-07-13
COMPLIMENTS PASSED.
che Unpaid Resormer Tackles "a olga
rette-SmektnS Dude ON
Street Chr.

GSNtS.SsHekNlNsSS DuN4 on
Street Car.
II beg your pardon, SIR remarked
the tall, angular passenger, addressing
himself to the young man on the seat in
front of him, but can't you see this
isn't q smoking car?"
I'm not smoking" said the young
man.
NO, but that coffin nail you brought
in With you is"
II guess you can stand it for half q
mile, can't you? get off at Archer
avenue"
Il don't care where you get off, andit
isn't the question whether I can stand
it OF not. was merely trying to give
you a lesson in common dccency.'
II know ,:hat you are. You're one
of those pop-eyed, long-nosed crauks
that don't like these things"
You're right I don't like them, and
don't Like, anybody who smokes them,
and the sooner YOU get that through
the wooden shell inclosing the dubious
substance that serves you for a brain
the sooner Well understand each
other
II think we understand each other
well enough already. | can understand
tiit you are (; mc!dlesome old guy with
only room for one idea inside your CO.
coanut. If it wasn't that there are la
dies in this car I'd take. full Whit Of
this and blow it in your hatchet face,
(. you lantern iawed imitation Of a n,an!'
/ No you wouldn't-not more than
once. Ia cram it down your throat n
| four motons.'.
I wish had you III some place where
you couldn't get away, for about so
seconds. You don't know what you're
up against, cid chap"
20, yes, l do. You are one Of those
| languid. dudish fellows I sometimes
read about. who can double up their
cigaroot-staincd fingers into a fist that
VIII penetrate a two-ineh plank, but
you never appear anywhere outside Of
entertaining newspaper stories. You
don't exist, except in print"
"Say,hf you'll get off the car with me
right rpw we'll adjourn to the shadow
of some building, and il don't sprca,:
that neuti CT yours all over your face
in one 1ountl-''
| DEM allow yourself tc become ex-
cited, young man. You are in scrfcrino,
with the wholesome purpose had il,
view when I spoke to YOU first, vhici,
was to convey the idea, without giving
otfense, that you were making an in
1er1al nuisance of yourself" H.
who gave you the right to call me
1 down, snyhow? What business is ii q {
yours, you ruhber-neclied, pigeon-.ocd,
splaS-ffoted old gira.7c?'
You gave ne the right, you two
legged hog. You gave aa-bodv the
right p call you-slcwn vixen YOU en-
tered tiis car with tlat smoking. stink
'n5 ting in your yellow fingers. l
| don't object to the smell Of 4 good cigar,
but there arc plenty of persons who do.
and no man has the right to force that
smell on }hcm. But man who smokes
the things you do is a walking outrage.
hes 2u<ance and = calamity per Sc.
lie is Feeking. nicotine-embalmed
| pesti]enceI
There may be nothing necessarily
deadly ABOUT the thing he smokes, es-
cept It's We smell, but there is about
| the fellow himself He is The deadly
lhing | thlnk you called me an imita-
ton OF man moment ago. You are
not an imitation of a man. You are a
| miserable apology for a man and YOU
smoke imitation cigars. Nou-you!-
try to scare anybody! Why, you i'll
bred hound you ought to be thankful
the human race doesn't rise en- masse
and sweep you off the earth
| is there!no way to bore hole into
the cavity Of your skull and let in some
'dea Of the foul-sickening sensation the
stench OF That thing in your fingers
slves to healthy human being? If
you had spark OF decency or grain
OF common sense you'd know better
than to mi iet other people needlessly
with an offensive personal habit of Your
own
J You wouldn't make it necessary for
some naturally quiet, retiring citizen
like myself|to try to teach you lesson
IN good manners in a public convey
ance, YOU thicl-headed, cuckoo
Drained, selfish, il-conditioned sul]Sv.
ungrateful, uncivilized, ill-bchaved,
surly. snarEng, unspeakable, disagree
able, salloY-faced and scurvy specimen
of an unlocked cnb!"
The young man put the coffin nail be-
tween his lips, his right fist suddenly
shot out, and landed somewhere near
the left eye OF the tall, angular passen-
| e,sr. ana With alt ;4irnust simultaneous
movement the fist pertaining to the
! angular passenger shot out and colid-
cd violently with the CORN naii-and
the mouth.
The women sitting near the scene Of
action screamed, the conductor inter
Tered, and the brisk engagement be-