The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1899-09-15
SWEAR-OFF STORIES
MANY DO THE SWEARING BUT FEW
STICK TO THEIR RESOLUTIONS.

IAO" Il wv NAhNS - 49, "
Neither Won Because Both Broke
the Pledge-A Clubman Swears On
Smoking BY Logic.
Il once swore off smoking" said the
clubman. That was when was young
and did not know myself. l swore on
with a friend, and the penalty was
suit of clothes to cost $50 The condi-
ton was that we were not to smoke In
town. When travelling or hunting OF
fishing-out of town, in fact-we Woula
be allowed to smoke. The scneme
worked we'll for some time; then pc
gan to want to smoke. | battled WIN
desire for several weeks, each DAY OF
the period becoming a harder trial tnan
the preceding. At last, when the long
ing became too great | went to see my
partner in misery TO tell him that we
had better call the contract on, as
could not stand it. He was not at nome.
He mao gone out of town week be-
fore and would be absent another
week. Then l broke down. The thought
of the party of the second part smok-
ing himself blue in the face while SUI
fered was unbeatable. So, with the
fine of $50 staring me in the face,
bought a cigar and smoked it. 1t was
worth $50, thought But | did not die
for lamb only; smoked vast guam
tity of cigars before he came home.
Then l went to him and told him to go
order the suit; that l had broken the
contract. lie smiled quietly, as II to
himself and then said: All right, OLD
fellow; but do not be disturbed about
the suit. l kept the contract just three
days.
Another man said: There were two
men in this town who swore off, the
breaker of the contract to pay the 9th.
er for ten-dollar hat. Finally one OF
them weakened, saying to himself he
did not mind giving $40 for smoke
While he meditated over the matter
however, he thought out a scheme TO
save himself on the hat. He went
to the hatter's and bought ten-dollar
hat and had it charged to the other fell
low. Then he called on the other fel-
low, and pointing to the hat, said: See
that hat, old boy? 1t is one have Just
had charged to you on that swear-ofr
contract The other fellow cried out:
How in the dickens did you find out
l had been smoking?' Never mind,
said the other. "A little bird told me- }"
well, l swore off," said another
clubman, "and to make the matter
memorable 1 handed dozen fine Ha-
vana cigars to friend, telling him to
smoke them, as had sworn off. | was
like the man who found the first day
pretty bad, the second horrible. and
the third no trouble at all, because he
began again to smoke. About the third
day my resolution died out, and then
l thought of the fine Havanas. | met
my friend Where are those twelve
cigars l loaned you, | asked. Here
he said; I knew you would want them
again And he took one for deposit
charges. 1 smoked the. rest"
II swore off once" said another
clubman, "and it was just as easy as
anything you ever heard of. l did 1t
by logic. 1 found | was smoking one
cigar after another and ne, er getting
enough, so 1 said to myself that if l
had to deprive myself at some time l
might as we'll begin with the first as
with the steenth cigar Thus convinc-
ed myself l would have no greater diff
ficulty than in refusing the steenth ci-
gar, and such proved to be the case.
had not the slightest longing for to-
bacco after l had made up my mind
that 1 had quit. l kept a box of cigars
on the mantel, for said might want
to smoke, and did not intend to treat
myself as one in whom l had no conf
dence.
Now mark what happened. About a
month after l had stopped smoking I
began to have periodical indigestion,
followed by cramps, which came on at
a certain hour of the evening of each
day and grew worse and worse until
they were quite serious. 1 tried all
kinds of diet, and even starved myself,
but without relief. At last, on the night
of strikers ball, was actually una
BILE to go out, although l had made
great effort and succeeded in dressing
for the entertainment. l lay in bed and
groaned for several hours. The next
day was New Years and Of course there
was holiday dinner at my house. Said
1: 4 have dieted and starved myself and
1t is doing no good. will eat one good
square meal and then die So sat at
the table and ate everything in sight
made a regular feast Of 1t. Then, as
was booked for the grave, or thought
was, said l would make a complete
Job Of 1t and smoke cigar did not
feel the want of cigar. The taste had
not plagued me in the slightest all that
time. But 1 smoked now just to go out
of the world in decent style, like a
good diner should. Then I smoked an
other cigar. Having done my duty
patiently awaited for the pains to begin.
They did not do so, nor have they at
any time since done so. l have not
had trouble from that day to this"