Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-08-26
JONES' GOLF CLUB
Course Takes in Jones' lawn, Simpsons
Barn and Randolphs Kitchen.
Links Were Laid Out Under Difficult
ties-One Director. hut He Doesn't
Cut Any Figure.
From the New York Sun.

From the New York Sun.
"It has remained for me to start a So
ciety for the prevention Of cruelty to golf"
said the man from Jersey, land, as an ar
dent admirer of the royal old game I was
forced to take this action. I am natural
ly a retiring man. and you may know that
the provocation was great. I have SYM
pathy for the novice who tears up the sod
and breaks his clubs, but when an aggre-
cation of otherwise good people deliber-
ately band together to mangle the finest
game on earth then arise to protest. You
see. played golf in Scotland before these
people here heard Of 1t, and know It's pos
sibilities. live in park which is so re-
stricted that any resident who Is detected
bowling to a Uitlander is fined in proportion
to the cordially of his bow and sentenced
to attend every entertainment of the Ex-
elusive Park lecture course.
ut is pleasant to be so closely allied with
so many nice people, and had no cause to
complain until the Exclusive Park Golf
Association was formed. Jones did it. His
crime Is lesSened somewhat by the fact
that he didn't know cleek from caddie
when he started the movement. He had
been a great shinney player in his younger
days, however. and an expert golfer, who
saw him running for train, had remark
ed once that he'd bet Jones had a good
mark when he got into the car, but the
golfer explained that there was no more
subtle form Of f1attery than to credit a
man with good stance. Jones looked
the word up. and his enthusiasm for golf
dated from that time.
There isn't a nicer man in Exclusive
Park, you know, than Jones, and his en-
ergy Is untfring. Jones Is communistic by
inclination, and when he acquires a thing
he is anxious to have the other people in
the park share 1t with him, whether it be
political ideas. music or the knowledge of
golf. Beginning with the Information that
a stance was the position of players
feet when addressing himself to the ball.
Jones soon got talking knowledge of the
game. He referred loosely to hazards and
'mashies' and 'bunkers' until all the other
parlites became interested. Then he call
ed meeting and formed the Exclusive
Park Golf. Outing, Life-saving and Gro
quet Association.
"'It's a good thing said Jones, to have
this organization broad. that II any of
us find golf distasteful he may enjoy some
Of the other benefits of our organization
But you started this association for
golf club said l.
$50 we did, said Jones, but you and
are the only ones who know the game, and
it might not appeal to, the others
AS Jones had merely a, theoretical idea
Of the game and I considered myself an
expert, this remark shattered my nerves.
I hung on. however. until Jones suggested
park. and then I kicked.
You haven't got room for one straight
drive here. said I. ;, IN
az have surveyed the ground said
Jones. and l find by doubling bit and
trespassing slightly on private property we
can have a very good nineIhole course
" It's absurd said j. ii
It's true said Jones, and the other
they seemed to reflect on the park itself
The idea Of a restricted park not being
good enough for any old Scotch game that
ever was invented Il was evident that
failed to appreciate my surroundings. We
had come to parting OF the ways of golf.
and l resigned from characterization. I had
fooled the thing, but Jones and l parted
and plan of them looked like one Of those
new-fangled puzzles.
There was a great contest for the first
teeing ground. 1t was finally located, after
a sharp contest. on Mrs. Jones' lawn as a
compliment to her husband. A survey from
here showed only one free avenue for ad-
vance. 1t was obstructed by Mrs. Jones'
rose bushes and f1anked on either side by
high trees. Jones said that the hazards
were beautiful There were so many Of
them that it was possible to shorten the
distance to the first putting green to about
fifty yards.
''The green itself was right back of
simpsons barn, and as the barn had
broad doors the second tee was located on
the barn floor. This clever idea was Stimp-
sons. long drive from here down Stimp-
sons roadway landed the ball on new
top dressing Of bluestone which had been
placed on the park boulevard de la grande
rue. and for that reason a new golf imple-
ment was introduced.
Nothing In the bunch of clubs would
work successfully on bluestone. The Elk
elusive Park Club decided to adapt the
game to the exigencies Of their course. The
committee on rules presented this one:
When the ball shall lie on the bluestone
the player Is entitled to pick it up with a
in any direction
Now. what do you think of that? longs
are as much part Of every golfers outfit
in the park as putter. The second putting
green is out in the open, and the parks
fountain. which never did work, was COW
cred with platform for a teeing ground.
Tassel's house and his barn. Then the
course led to Randolph's summer kitchen.
This was puzzler. Randolph, being a
public-spirited man. said that he would
leave the windows open. An expert might
drive the ball in there and the hole could
be located in the fireplace. Isn't that abus-
ing golf?
Exclusive Parkites are loyal all right
enough. and by using Franks broad piazza,
Stiison's tennis court and a little of the
park lawn the nine holes were laid out. 1t
was found, however, that the course cross
ed itself at several points, so that player
was likely to be fanked by the ball of
man several holes ahead of him.
Danger signals were arranged at these
points. When player reached place
where he was exposed to a cross fire he
raised red flag on the danger pole. A
white flag indicated that the course is
clear. Jones taught the members Of the
club all that he knew of golf, first by an
Illustrated lecture and then by drilling
them. The advanced class in golf was
quizzed every night for week by Jones
after his lecture 1t went on in this
fashion:
Mr.. Brummel' Jones would say, when
do you use a driverYr~, va
IF clear on even grass we fnd.' says
Brummel, our ball inYitingly lies. we take
implies. ~ nj
"If Brummel didn't, know his little golf
book and fiunked he was sent back to learn
1t. Parkites amused themselves on the way
to town by asking each other golf ques-
TONS You never heaxd a crowd more tech
nical In their speech. a They all acquired the
Jones stance. and then they began to whack
balls around as II theX weEe breaking stone
or playing base ball. . Tul
1T was lovely to be calmly breakfasting
when the warning CRY of fore would come
through your window, aud just as you
dropped under your table, q golf ball would
come crashing in and upset your coffee
cup. Golf balls flew IN alb directions around
that park. Glass windows have been shat
tered. and as for the game itself there
isn't enough of 1t left-to discuss. 1t il about
as much like golf as pipochle.
i nave watched this thing develop and
i can stand 1t no 1on6or am going m