Little Falls weekly transcript. (Little Falls, Morrison Co., Minn.) 1894-19??, 1899-06-16
EUGENE FIELD ANo TABOR.

feet"
EUGENE FIELD AND TABOR.
How the Humorist Made Life . B1Hs
den For the Millionaire.
up to middle age the late Senator Ia
boris life was one Of great hardship"
said a forluer resident of the Silver
State, land ~hen he suddenly became
fabulously rich he plunged into luxuries
like a starving man wading into BAN
quet. One of his early freaks was the
purchase of several magnificent lace
nightrobes which cost 500 apiece and
which he kept locked up in safe dur
Ing the day. Eugene Field was editor
of the Denver Tribune at the time, and
those lace nightrobes made him simply
hysterical. He wrote column upon col
umn about them, describing the gar
ments in detail, with numerous diagrams
depicting sections fore and aft. The
diagrams were hideous affairs, which
Field carved out himself with penknife
on the back Of old wood type. He used
to describe how Tabor would forget the
combination Of the safe and sit up, shiv-
ering and naked, half the night trying to
remember the right figures.
Altogether he kept Denver In Z roar
for weeks and made Tabor 20 wild that
one day he rushed into his Office, snatch
Cd the ,untortunate nigAtre hes ont Of
their compar tment and tore them TO
threads. There. now! he exclaimed.
wiping his forehead and kicking the tat
tered fragments into a corner, I hope
that fool will be satisfied. Ill be hanged
IL amt going to get gunny SACK he
continued, cut some holes in the end for
my head and arms, and then sleep In It
for the rest Of my life!
"When Tabor was appointed to the
senate to fill an unexpired term of ex-
actly 20 days, Field broke loose again
and had all kinds Of fun with the old
. man. He declared that Tabor opposed
the tariff bill on the ground that it ell
couraged lawlessness in the west. 4
don't know this tariff bill,' he reported
the senator as saying in. speech, but
we have entirely too many Of 'em out
where live. There's Wild Bill and Pc
cos Bill and Billy the Kid-all no good.
If you let Tariff Bill have everything to
do with the custom house ne is liable to
steal the Atlantic ocean, Many of the
honest frontier folk took these flights Of
fancy seriously, and drove Tabor nearly
distracted by long letters of remon-
STRANGE, urging him to read up and get
posted, so as not to disgrace the state.
"At the expiration of the senator's
brief term he circulated an autograph al
bum among his fellow members, and the
incident tickled Field immensely. He
gave what purported to be copy Of the
sentiments inscribed in the volume by
the different statesmen-such things as
When this you see, remember me, Ros-
coe Conkling,' and Sure as the moss
grows round stump you are my darling
sugar lump-1 mean chump-George F..
Hoar,' and similar nonsense, all Of which
maddened his victim.
II think Gene Field was the only man
Tabor never forgave, for in spite of his
gaunt, forbidding exterior, the miper
magnate was as tender hearted as girl.
He was really full of sterling qualities,
and in his proper sphere he would have
been anything but grotesque. One thing
is sure-if every fellow he helped in Sc
cret would have joined his funeral pro.
cession he would have gone to his grave
like an emperor Of old."-New Orleans
Times-Democrat.
shopgirl's Hard Lot.
Persons complain that shopgirls do not
jump actively to wait upon them when
they enter q store. Why not? The other
day saw girl approach respectfully
dressed woman Of middle age-that's 3d.
and heard her ask. over the counter,
what would you like, maam?''
To this polite attention was shocked
to hear the woman reply: 'You shut up!
Don't you talk to me! I can ask for
what want, and don't want any i'm.
| audience from clerksv' '& An
A few rebuffs from such creatures are
| quite enough to cool the ar1or of any
shopgirl.-New York Press.
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