davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-03-17
For Sale.

Two good lots with buildingson In the
;ity of Edgerton. E. M. LADD.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-03-17
HanerViIIe.

Carl O'Bergs baby is reported better.
Augustine of Leeds, is visiting his
brother.
d W Townsend's auction was well at
tended.
Ell Sweeney and e r Hanson had the
misfortune to loose horse.
Saturday afternoon the ladies of the
M r church met at Mrs LaFays and or
ganized sewing society. In spite of the
bad roads and the rain all had very
pleasant time. The next one will be held
at J Hanson's.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-03-17
Porter.

Mr. N Casey of GAINESVILLE, was
caller on Monday.
Miss Hattie Lay is spending a few
weeks in Edgerton.
The roads are in a horrible condition
at present writing.
A dance in Porter Band Hall March
IL is the chief attraction this week.
Mr. Beenauch and family of Edgerton,
are to move onto Mrs Loudden's farm.
D F Mccarthy has sold his farm of 60
acres to Orfa Fessenden at $55 per acre.
Will Nichols has leased his house and
tobacco land to Ole Severson for the
coming year.
Miss Kate Ford closed another sue
cessful term of school in the Stevens
district on Wednesday.
D F Finnane. Green county's hustling
auctioneer, will cry an auction at M
Ford's on Thursday of this week.
Mr. Ben Peach and family expect to
move to Edgerton soon, having rented
their farm to family from near Cooks
vile.
Mr. Claude Hendrick and wife of Ed
gerton, we're visitors at the parental
home here a few days the first of the
week.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-03-17

Are you thin? Would you like to
get fat and plump? Tried Laughing"
'twouldn't work-now take Rocky Noun
tain Tea twill do the business. 35
cents. Perry & Doty.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-03-17

CO Thompson returned Sunday from
three days visit with his son, Joel, a.
Edgerton.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-03-17

Taken this month-keep you we'll all
the summer. Drives away impure blood.
The greatesr spring tonic ever offered.
Rocky Mountain Tea. Perry & Doty.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-10-24
DEACON sETBACK's SIN.

Hit was on a Easter Monday. / had
been to church on Sunday,
When de colored CONGREGATION filed IT
choCK up to de door;
An l took up collection dat surpassed
all recollection,
Fo' de Abyssinian mission an de under
servin' poor.
Such a pourin' out Of mercy as was neb-
ber seen before
Seven dollars sixty-four.
All dat night lay a-dreamin; an woke
next mOrlin' seemin'
Like l saw in fiery wrltin' "4-l1-i4,"
was broke an couldn't borrow. 1t
would be too big a sorrow
To give up de gig Ia dreamt of, worth
hundred bOrcs or more:
So l put de churchs money on de game
at Johnsin's store
Fo, 'leben, fortY-fo'.
Golly! how dis sinner trembled when de
players all assembled
Fo' de drawin', an de number dat dey
first coughed up was four.
Den, as / may hope To- heben, comes de
second on'-eleben,
An de third-but jest dat instant dere's
a poundin' on dc door.
We wuZ raided-yes, sab, raided, an
dat gigs hoodoo, shore
Fo, 'leben, forty-fo'. Anon
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-10-24
HUMAN NATURE STUDIES
What 1t Might Have Cost.

"In a certain town in Vermont" said the
Boston drummer, as he chewed away at
a pepsin tablet, II picked up wallet con-
tanning $500 in cash. There were papers
bearing the owners name, and he proved
to be the mayor of the town. | at once
hunted him up and handed over his lost
cash, and as he received 1t he looked me
over and scratched the back of his head
and said:
Il shall reward you, of course. How
much do you think you ought to have?
Nothing whatever. sir. / am GLAD to
restore your property
But you expect something|
"'No, sir
".Didn't look for me to give you a
cent?
Not n red
1T don't seem possible he went on, as
he looked me over again, but I'll have TO
take you at your word. DO you know
what it might have cost me, sir, had any
one else found this wallet?'
Il can't say, of course
I'd have had to hand over at least ten
cents, sir, and they might have struck for
fifteen or twenty-five Ohio State Jour-
nal
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-10-24
King Alfonso,s Spirit of Fun.

The young King of Spain seems to have
Inherited his mothers cheerful tempera-
rnent and to have spirit of fun which
evcn-and this is saying much-SpantSh
etiquette cannot quench. The following
story Is being told of his majesty: The lit
tie king had been reading out to mis- tutor
sentence in the words, She possessed
in the highest degree the distinguished
planners and grace Of speech inherent in
prinCesses," and to his tutors amaze
mcnt remarked THAT writer didn't
know much about courts"
"Why do you say that, sir?"
"Well, look at that pair of princesses.
One of his royal sisters, evidently dread
fully hot and sleepy, was sprawling over
her desk in a very degage attitude, while
the other, apparently unable to solve a
difficult problem, was absCntly rubbing
her eyes and looking dazed meanwhile.
His majesty tugged the hair of one and
pnched the arm of another princess,
evoking some very strong and familiar
terms of sisterly rcprobatiCn.
There are distinguished manners and
grace of speech for you!' he exclaimed,
regarding triumphantly the tutor.-Lon-
| don Chronicle.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-10-24
PERSONALITIES.

II. o. Armour of Chicago, paid $1,000
rent for a house on the line of the
Dewey parade in New York the other
day The lease was for two days.
Dr. Richard ]. Gatling, the inventor of
the machine gun which bears his name,
has turned his attention from the de-
signing implements of destruction to the
perfection Of agricultural machinery.
NJ. Loubet paid $4,000 for the Chateau
de Mazenc, fact which is taken to indi-
cate that the French presidents private
means are greater than was generally
supposed.
Gilbert Parker the novelist. is in New
York. lie is trying to raise funds for 4
good hotel, to l,e built in London, which
will give to working women comfortable
quarters at less than cost,
The German Emperor has recently
bought for $l2j,0Oo a villa at Bonn as Il
residence of the Crown Prince and after
ward for the younger Princes, when they
become students at the university.
Edward Bulwer Lytton Dickens. son
OF Charles Dickens, has lately been ap-
pointed n rabbit inspector by the govern
ment of New South Wales. He has al
ready served in the colonial parliament.
Major Marchand is occupying his lei
sure time IN writing the story of his jour
a well-posted diary, but he does not in
tend merely to reproduce the entries In
1.-THE will develop them.
Ezra +. Scattergood, instructor of math-
ematics, electricity and physics at Rut-
gers college, has accepted the chair Of
physics in the Atlanta School of Technol-
ogy. lie has just returned from a years
study i'm Europe, whore no went on a
| fellowship from Yale,
Ella Ewing, the giartess, has complet-
| ed her residence near Gorin, Mo. The
| house was built on a scale proportionate
| with Miss Ewing's reeds. The doors are
ten feet high and the ceilings and win
| dows look like those Of fabled giants
| castles. She Is still growing, and is now
| eight feet and four inches tall.
Such is Lord Kitcheners reputation as
a woman hatcr that the Queen herself
! felt called upon to ask him during a re-
cent audience, If what she had heard ot
| him was true--that he did not care foI
any woman. He replied that 1t was true
with one exception. The Queen asked
him Of the exception, and the gallant
warrior replied, "Your Majesty" The
Queen was amused, but she was also
! pleased.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-10-24
Chinese Exclusion.

- HINESE exclusion as prac-
ticed by the United States
Aas/ has had many warm defend
ers; the present law had no
less eminent a sponsor than the late
James C. Blaine, whose sanction had
for many Americans almost the weight
Of gospel Yet it is impossible not TO
feel that some Of the determinations
erected in this country against John
Chinaman are unfair; and, if we are to
go in heavily for Chinese trade, they
may in time return to plague us.
one Of the most interesting addresses
yet delivered before the Commercial
congress now i'm session in Phiadel-
phia had this subject for it's theme
Its author, Chlna's intelligent minister
to this country Mr.. Wu Ting Fang,
presented the matter in a light de-
serving OF at least academic consid-
Grafton. After reviewing briefly the
rapid recent growth of American trade
with China he went on to note the
fact that not only are Chinese laborers
not permitted TO land as immigrants
upon American soil but that every
Chinaman is debarred unless specially
privileged TO enter by our laws, while
the subjects and citizens Of all other
nations, OF whatever color or race, in
cludng japanese, Malays, Siamese
and other Asiatics, and Africans, and
even savages, are at liberty to enter
freely He thereupon continued;
China does not make such invidious
| distinction. What is open to one Aa-
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-10-24

tion is open to all others. All are
equally welcome. SO far from taking
any retaliatory measure, she is still
holding the most friendly and cordial
relations with the United States, and l
hope and trust these relations will long
continue. In view of the certain in
crease of this vast trade and COM
merce between China and the United
States, and in view of the unrivaled
opportunities China offers to American
capital and enterprise, the question
naturally arises whether it is worth
while to keep on your statute book a
discriminating law against people
keep and maintain relations of the
most friendly nature"
1t is not probable that the present
laws relating to Chinese immigration
will be changed; but IL would be inter-
esting to know whether such unique
discrimination against the subjects of
q particular nation would ever have
been enacted in the United States had
China been a strong aggressive power
like, let us say, Great Britain or Rus
sia. The right of a country to lay down
general regulations governing immi-
grafton, applicable to all races and all
peoples alike, is beyond question; but
would the United States have dared to
say to Russia or England or even to
German, France or Italy: Because
there are men among your inhabitants
whom we don't want on our soil we
will hereafter admit none of your citi-
zens?" Is, then, our marking of China
for invidious distinction dictated by
considerations of justice and right
eousness wholly, or is it partly influ-
enced by the knowledge that no matter
how grossly China is abused by So
called Christian nation, she is too weak
to take revenge?
Here is a topic for debating socie-
| ties.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-10-24

N Ef EhttlNOr 10 Ine recent du-
vices from Samoa which re-
Il ~ port conditions of great un-
rest among the natives and
of renewed friction among the resident
representatives of the three supervis-
ory powers, the esteemed Times-Herald
of Chicago suggests:
Something must be done, and the
United States is in a position to take
the initiative. There is nobody to dis
pute our right to Pango Pango, and
Pango Pango is all we want. Why.
then, should we not say to Great Brit
ain and Germany: we will draw out
from all the islands but Tutuila, whose
fine harbor is already ours. The only
thing that we ask of you is that you
will surrender definitely all construc-
tive rights which you might have to
our district under the theory Of joint
control. We must be acknowledged as
absolute masters there, and you may
then do what you please with the re-
mainder of the group That would
solve the Samoan problem so far as the
and it would henceforth be a matter of
indifference to us what Germany and
England did with their Malietoas,
Mataafas and Tamaseses. Tutuila is
n little place with only 3,7OO inhabitants
all told. and if some obstreperous high
chief should attempt toprovoke sedition
there he could be taught the error OF
his ways in very short order. There
would be no English consul to consult,
no German municipal president to pla-
cate. single authority, swiftly exer-
cised, would stamp out rebellion for all
time by one decisive move"
This policy Of scuttle is just what
the Times Herald declaims against
when it is suggested for the Philippines
We are morally responsible, along with
England and Germany, for the peace
and welfare of the Samoan natives
and to say that we ought to jump out
of that responsibility, swapping our
fingers as we go, is to say a thing
sounding very strange in the columns
of a paper like the Times Herald.
Why not say to England and Germany:
at is evident that a tripartite protec-
torate, however beautiful in theory, is
in practice a gross misfit Coordinate
| rule of three is pandemonium in op-
GRAFTON, and its ending has become a
matter of very evident necessity
Therefore
'The United States, as the one power
whose isolation puts her out of the
| current of European rivalries and
| whose possession Of strategic points
| could not justly give offense to Europe,
| stands ready to purchase f.om both
| Great Britain and Germany all their
| rights and claims to Sa nca. at a val
| uation either to be liked by mutual
| agreement or by disinterested arbitra-
| tion; the understanding being that the
| United States, if it's proposition shall
| be accepted, will perform faithfully all
| the duties to civilization inherent in
| the present unsatisfactory arrange
ment and for tlis purpose will have
the moral sympathy and good will o.
all British and German interests now
on the islands"
This is the one solution of the Sa-
| moan mess which can avert an ulti-
mate war.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-10-24
She Was Immune.

The English language reminds one Of
some of these typewriters and the game
of whist. 1t looks mighty simple, but
the further you go along the more COM
plicated and swear. provoking it is. We
have all heard of the man who told his
sweetheart that before marrying her he
must confess that he was somnambu-
list
"Oh, I don't mind that" said the dear,
sweet girl, 1--WE are Presbyterians our
selves, but we are not bit narrow"
Shortly after the death of Robert Inger-
soil little party We're discussing the man
and his life in a private parlor, Finally,
after much talk a rigid church member
exclaimed: "Oh isn't this wave Of doubt
sweeping over the country a dreadful
thing? Do you not shrink from the at
tacks Of this horrible agnosticism?'
"Pshaw, no." replied a gentle little wo-
man, II have been exposed to everything
and never took a disease in my life. No,
indeed, L would not be n bit afraid of it
if 1t broke out here" ."-Louisville Times.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-10-24
NUBs OF KNOWLEDGE.

On an average, every man, woman and
child consumes about three bushels OF
apples per year and only few are ex-
ported.
Baldress is far less common among red
headed people than among their darker
haired neighbors. The ordinary crop on
the head of a red-haired person is about
29, ,209 hairs.
January and October of the same year
always begin with the same day. So do
April and July, also September and De-
cember. February, March and November
also begin with the same day.
1t has been stated that If the hairs on
the head OF a fair-haired person could be
plated together they would make a rope
strong enough to support n weight Of
something like so tons, or of 500 people.
IN 1883 the average price of a horse
was $7i64; in 1897, $3l51. In the thirteen
years from 1884 to 1897 while the number
OF horses in the United States had in
creased by more than 100000 their total
value had decreased nearly $500, 5000 900.
1t is estimated that we use annually
| In the United states over 10000 900
matches. These indispensable little arti-
| cles were first used in this country less
than seventy years ago, and at that time
n box containing twenty-five was sold for
| rs cents.
According to a recent official return
paid off 1856, 900 900 of her national debt,
and rs n matter of rank in the debtor
nations has sunk to third place, France
and Russia occupying respectively the
first two.
| The college graduates of the country
make a pretty good mart of the popula-
| tiOn and Harvard takes the lead with a
| total of 22,2S7 graduates. Yale has sent
out into the world 1s,iSO men, and Column
bia 1881. Princeton has graduated $500
| students, Dartmouth $50, Brown 4yO0,
Bowdoin 4,6l9, Amherst 1000 and Wash
| ington university 3,43G.
| An expert calculates that If a young
man of q should start In to measure the
| corn crop which Kansas will produce this
year. and If It were possible for him to
measure bushcl every second-a big load
each minute-working ten hours a day
every working day in the year he would
be SO years old before he completed his
! task.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-10-24

A colored man was arraigned before a
magistrate charged with carrying deadly
weapons. A razor was found in the de-
fondant's pocket, and so, when he was
brought to the bar of justice, the case
against him seemed pretty strong TO
the surprise of the judge and every one
else in the court room he pleaded mot
guilty"
GLOW can you account for the razor be-
ing found in your pOssesson?'
The defendant grlnned and said "Ill
try an 'splan dat, jedge."
"Id like to hear you,' said the judge.
did any one threaten your life?'
mo, sab; ley warnt nobody treat'nin'
nah life, sah.'
"'rhen why did you carry it?'
81 done toted hit roun', sab, for pur-
tccshun, sah."
For protection, eh? Why, you just
admitted that your life was in no dam
ger"
"Yo, doan' un'erstan' me, iedge; I'll try
an 'lucidate tings. sab. Down ter de
house what Use a-boardin', sab, dey is a
powahful lot of low-down cnons, W at jes'
wouldn't stop at takin' tings wat doan'
blong ter dem, so l ies' put hit in nah
pocket fur purtecshun, sah-purtecshun
| oh de ra2ah, sah."-ShOrt Stories.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-10-24

are sure that had such want been
communicated to the president 1t
would have received a prompt refusal,
cast in terms not open tc mistake The
airy assumptions to the contrary with
which certain cynical editors have late
ly regaled their readers can hardly
have been intended seriously. TheN
represent rather a weakness OF our
press for exageration in political mat
ters, which is happily discounted by
public opinion and which, while upon
occasions annoying to men in public
life. seldom leaves upon their reputa-
tions permanent or even temporarily
formidable spots.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-10-24

T<HERE AXE two "iue'y NarI- Nil-
ant types of human nature
a in this world-the man who
faces backward and the
man who looks ahead. We are hearing
from both in the current discussion Of
the Philippine problem.
The man who faces backward re-
calls to our attention the fact that the
founders Of our republic put into writ
ing as Indicative of their intent GER
tain broad declaration of principle,
phrased into generalities. such as the
consent of the governed clause and
holds this up as a reason why the
United States should pull out Of the
Philippines. He might with equal pro-
priety have quoted the Biblical injunc-
tion about turning the other cheek
as a reason why our soldiers at Ma
Mia should have permitted Aguin-
aldos armed insurgents to fill them
full of holes. He forgcts that consent
of the governed" is won in course of
time by good government honestly ad-
ministered, as is proved by the present
occupants of the Louisiana purchase;
and that turning the other cheek" in
human affairs, refers to a condition
subsequent to taking all the fight out
of the other fellow.
The man who faces backward is sure
that the whole Philippine campaign,
since Dewey's May day victory, has
been crmnally mismanaged. that
aft sin in
should have lifted anchor and come
home; or that Merritt should have
accepted second place behind Aguin-
aldo; or that most of the things which
We're done at Manila, at Paris and at
Washington We're not done rightly or
could have been done a great deal
better if some plan or policy had been
followed otEer than that which was
followed. The man who faces back
ward is an artist in detecting what
might have been.
Contemplation Of the past is not
without value, but in the situation
which exists the more useful man is
the man who looks ahead. This man
does not waste his energy in vain re-
grets over errors beyond recall. He
rolls up his sleeves and pitches into the
work Of the Present ana future. He
perccives that where men in arms are
shooting at the American flag lawfully
flying over American territory and for
chilly intewupting the march of Ameri-
can law, order and civilization, the
thing 10 do IS to pursue and disarn
them; to teach them respect for thai
flag and to establish its unquestionet
supremacy. Other bridges can be
crossed when they are reached.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-10-24
The Carter Case.

Y ? HEN the next Federal
W. grand jury meets in the
Savannah, Ga, district,
which will be on tie
third Monday in November, it viii be
asked to return indictments against
the men who, it is alleged, pronted out
Of Captain Orerlin NJ. Carter swind-
ing operations while engineer in
charge of the Savannah harbor inn
provements. Among the men likely to
De brought into this action as a wit
ness is one said to be intimately as.
sociated in business with Senator Platt,
namely r. +. Westcott, Cartcr's
.ather-in-law; ana no doubt 1t was this
coincidence which prompted circulation
recently Of the untruthful charge that
political influences had been successful
y invoked to shield Carter.
The worst politics in this case has
some from those who have tried to
!reate capital against the president out
Sf his desire to be absolutely sure of
Carter's guilt before administering q
punishment which might otherwise have
lime taken by the president to have
I'll the facts carefully weighed and re-.
Weighed, not only by military men
amiliar with the technical points at
ssue, but also by entirely disinterested
awyers Of unchallenged ability, who
could satisfy his anxiety as to the
legality of the original proceedings in
the investigation OF Carriers case, may
have seemed long and may have pro-
duced impatience in some quarters:
put at the worst it was no more than
an excess Of caution prompted by mo-
tives entitled to every mans respect.
II supplied no warrant for the abusive
criticism found at the time in certain
papers which denied TO the president
IF the United States even the presump-
lion of honest intent.
We have mo reason 10 suppose that
Senator PiStt or anybody else I'm public
hfe ever wanted the president TO act
ushonestly in carteTs case; and we
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1899-10-24
An Obliging Husband.

THAT husband of mine never did APP
preciate joke" said one woman to an
other.
"Why, how is that?" asked her friend.
Mrs. told me this joke the other
day" Said she, "'Why don't you get 1l
cents worth of boraX? | asked what for,
and she replied: why, for 10 cents
When l went home l sprung it on John.
said: John, why don't YOU get 10
cents worth of boraX?' He made no re-
ply, but went out and shortly returned
with a small package. / said What Is
that? and he replied why, that's the
10 cents worth of boraX you wanted.
John never dill appreciate a joke. Al
bany Evening Journal.