Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-01-14
HE is SUCH A MEAN MAN

A couple of weeks ago last Monday night
Mrs. Jobson watched Mr. Jobscn narrowly
as he read the evening paper. 1t was along
toward o'clock before she ventured to
speak.
We'll, are we going to the theater to-
night?" she said then.
'Huh?'' inquired Mr.. Jobson, absently,
running his eye up and down the auc-
tioneers' ads.
Didn't you say something yesterday
about going to the theater tonight"
'um-eh--hey?" said Mr. Jobson Then
he looked up suddenly from the paper and
regarded Mrs. Jobson steadfastly.
Theater?" he inquired. What theater?
Who said anything about any theater?'
IF my memory serves me- you
our memory doesn't serve you, now
or ever, Mrs. Jobson,' said Mr., Jobson.
sternly. Il didn't say word about theater
yesterday, Or the day before yesterday, or
the day before that. I'm sick of the
theater. What's more. it's raining like
You are mistaken" interrupted Mrs.Job-
son. The stars all out, and it is brill
liant. freezing, delightful night"
Say said nicholson, sitting up straight
IN MS chair, this theater gags getting
worn out. Becoming a regular thing, amt
it, for you to sit there every Monday night
and look the eyes out of me to be taken out
in the slush and hail and snow and storm
to see some show where a woman Snivels
through five acts and gets her nose as red
as-er-to be taken to some theater or other
and
"a man that l know, who is not very far
from here, wasn't saying very much, and
looked pretty damp around the eyelashes
himself, the last time he went to see
woman SWIVEL through five acts and"
began Mrs. Jobson.
L know who that knocks meant for"
retorted Mr.. Jobson, land it's nothing of
the sort, and think it 'ud be wise for you
TO cut out references like that. What's
more, I'm going to make it rule of the
New Year not to be dragged out of my
comfortable home every time you take it
into your head to go to a theater. Here
after, when 1 want to go to a theater, I'll
give you due and ample notice beforehand,
SOS you won't make any mistake about it,
and l hope this plan'n prevent you from
sitting there every Monday night around
this hour, trying to throw those hypnotic
Chances into me. l amt hypnotic subject,
and it's time you found that out, Mrs.
Jobson Now, hope I'm on record as to
this theater game-When we're going to the
theater / notify you in advance; when 1
don't notify you in advance then it's all off
and We don't go, Mrs. Jobson; We don't 60"
Last Monday morning Jobson put on his
good suit to go to the Office in, leaving his
everyday clothes home for Mrs. Jobson to
press. When he had finished his dinner in
the evening he Owed into the evening paper
as usual, smoked a couple of cigars run
ming, and was taking things pretty easily.
Mrs. Jobson sat in her arm chair, reading
one of the magazines and looking the pic
ture OF calm repose in her comfortable
wrapper. AT precisely a quarter to eight
Mr.. Jobson pulled out his watch, looked at
1t and then looked a. Mrs. Jobson.
Well" he said to Mrs. Jobson, you
rea1y?'
Ready" repeated Mrs Jobson, "Ready
for what?'
Mr.. Jobson regarded her with an express
sion of blank amazement.
For the theater, of courseT' he ex-
T1li limo hot n r
bull fight, or cooking main, or a rat
kiliing?''
Mrs. Jobson smiled triumphantly
DO you remember, Mr.. Jobson, what you
said couple Of weeks ago about the due
and ample notice you We're going to there
after give me when you intended taking me
to the theater?'
Remember it" said Mr.. Jobson. ''Why.
of course l remember it. But 1 don't sup
pose you remember my stopping in the act
of pouring sirup on my buckwheat cakes
this morning for the sole purpose of noti-
flying you formally and in distinct set
phrases that we were going to the theater
this evening-hey, Mrs. Jobson?"
Decidedly, Mr.. Jobson. l remember moth
ing of the
Don't. hey?" said Mr. Jobson. "Well, L
suppose from the way you sit there in
those rags that you don't elect to accom-
pany me to the theater this evening, then.
IS that it?'
well, if you have bought the seats"
Mrs. Jobson, l did just what l told you
at the breakfast table 1 going to do.
l got two hours leave of absence from my
office for the purpose of buying seats to
take you to the theater. Are you going or
not? It's now four minutes of eight and
you look like a dead ringer for my grand
mother, standing there in that gray blanket
of "a
Hear the rainr' said Mrs Jobson as the
heavens opened for the tenth time that
evening and let down their torrents. Then
she darted upstairs, and in five minutes
she returned, rather hastily done up in an
evening garb suitable to the weather Mr..
Jo5son's conversation for the remainder of
the evening at the theater contained numer-
Gus references to women who get them
selves up like haybags when their husbands
take them out ANYWHERE and sundry mys-
FERROUS hints to the effect that there are
lots and lots of neat and stylish women in
this world