Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1899-03-04
ROUND A HAT.

This particular play was a great and
popular success, and this particular
night the theater was crowded. Every
seat in every part of the house was &C.
cupied-every seat, that is, but one,
and that one in the pit. This was all
the more remarkable as this seat looked
good seat-well up forward, nearly in
the center, quite as advantageous, as
pit people are wont to hypocrize. as ten
and sixpence wasted ON a stall. And
yet the seat was. all the same, undenia-
bly, vacant.
1t was not being ''kept' either. The
young man on the other side of it al
ready had his young lady with him. l,
on this side, did not have a young lady
at all, and did not expect one, either.
That seat was neither reserved o tax
en-, There was a mystery about it-a
mystery l was acquainted with. a mys-
terry you will get to know, too. if you
have the courage to go ON.
You may be curious why l did not
move up into this excellcntly good seat.
There is another mystery in the matter,
and, just as in the case where two mega
tives, we are enormously assured, on
stitute a positive affirmative, so these
two mysteries, being explained, annul
one another. AS a matter of fact, l had
moved into hat seat on entering and
then had hastily moved back again,
while | had the chance, for immediate
ly in front was a stylish young lady
what is generally c%atalogued a smart
girl-young, good looking, very nice,
in the height Of fashion, and-need l
say it-with a hat.
There you have it-not the hat, which
is probably in the same possession I'M
less, of course, the fashions have again
changed, as is to be expected, consider
ing the incident took place nearly a
week ago-not the hat, but the elucida-
ton; for the luckless individual who
paid to come in and took up his station,
sitting down, behind that hat would
have absolutely no return for his money
but a gratuitous and highly exasperat-
ing view Of ribbons and dead birds that
Regent street glorifies into a 'crea-
ton"
We knew, you know. We had tried
it, I the first and the quickest and then
the other men, who, wandering in late
and thanking their lucky stars for their
great, good fortune, bounced into that
seat with a wide smile on their faces,
remained perplexed and fidgety for sew
eral minutes, frowned and coughed and
shufled their feet where the floor
sounded loudest and then finally depart
ed somewhere into the back with mar
ticulate mutterings and much painfully
suppressed emotion.
An old gentleman at the back Of me
who evidently made a habit of nissan
thropy and allowed none of his fellow
creatures sadness to pass : without
proper merriment, was spending a
most enjoyable evening in consequence.
The world to him was a good deal more
than a stage, and he would certainly
have been content to wait all night for
the rising Of the curtain, provided the
fun in front went on SO uninterrupted
ly. When somebody from the rear made
a nov for this seat, his face beamed
with the gratitude Of thanksgiving. As
the somebody sat down there he seemed
to let off a profound chuckle. When the
somebody faced the hat and fidgeted,
his sides shook and his double chin
trembled. l did not approve Of this
gloating, and as often as possible with
out creating conversational friction |
leaned back suddenly and let M of my
shoulders fall on to his nose. That gave
him pause and breathing time, but he
used it only to get ready to enjoy the
next victim.
Just as the lights went down and the
curtain went up a young man, the
youngest Of them all up to now, pushed
his way in from the side and tumbled
into that open trap, piously took off his
silk 'tile" and put it under the seat,
punched himself up into that prepon-
derant attitude that is necessary for
proper receptiveness, peered eagerly
forward and saw beautifully-all the
blackness Of the lady's hat. Then n
sued the usual pantomimic demonstra-
ton Of foiled expectation-coughs and
discomforting, because very sincere,
growls. The old gentleman at the rear
seemed to be in danger. Of bursting a
blood vessel, and the breaths Of his n
joyment came into the nape of my neck
warm and frequent ana vigorous.
What was most remarkable, however,
was that this young man did not aban-
don the position, like his predecessors,
but held on and stuck there in forlorn
hope, rousing himself at intervals to
pivot round on his vertebral column
and describe most alarming contortions
In rash attempts to get his head, and
more particularly his eyes, into some
hook or crevice where the stage was not
completely effaced, then sinking down
in failure and despair and collapsing
into unwilling resignation. tempered
by ebullitions Of mufled groans. and
the old gentleman behind was CULVER
Ing with cotlvulsions Of joy, so that /
fell back on him again and did him
mora personal injury without, how
ever, much dsmping his ~ecstatic rap
ture.
fhs girl on the right Of MS hsrs