Evening journal., 1899-02-28
Mr.. PYLE s WATER BILL
Discussed By the Versatile
and Observant Bill Jones.
KEOXs NEw-oENTURY CLUB WAYS
EXASPERATING TO THE SAND
TOWN STATESNrAlN-TElE VARI-
GUS SITUATIONS AT THE CAPI-
TAI. AS HE VIEWS THEM.

,TAL AS HE VIEWS THEnl
The Wayfarer's versatile and obaer
want friend, Hon. William Jones, Of
Sandtown, Kent county, must imagine
that his wife is interested in hydro
states, for much Of his latest letter
home is devoted to the condition Of the
Water Department of the city Of VIII
mington:
Dover, Del, Feb 27, 1899.
My Dere Mary ANN
Timithy Townsend has bin up yene
nrprsin' Representative West fer us Adj
dix fellers, but the old captin's wlsl1-
ers is too ahick fer him to take the
bottle, am l CESS wePll have 10 send
1mithy home agin, fer things is a.
glttin I'M sech a condishun tibet we
cainrt have no dedlheds a-layin' aroum
here fur nursin' purposes wen Mister
West won't take the nipple. Hits ex-
aspeTau.n' but troo. Wen we asst Tim
ithy ef he cId nurse the oil man he
sed: "Ef you'll furnish me with a bot
tel II milk Unkel Gorgell drink, fer
he's a-g.ttin' in. his seclzind childhood
am hit'll be natcherel fer him to take
to the lbottel." We gev him the para
fernaaya an hit wudn't werlk, fer the
OF man wuzn'b quite as ylrng as how
TLmithy thot he wuz Wen Tfmithy
sez, "Unkel George, dom you wanf a
littLe milk outten this yere Mise Addix
bcttil," he wuz sepuist to here his un-
kel say "No, Tim; but ef youE git me
a big stiff drink of Regler Republican
wisl1y, an sl1wert sum Gorge Gray sell
ser in hit, III talk one with you" Hit
plast Tim in mos embarassin' posi-
shuu, Mary Ann, an as he skunk off he
herd his Unkel Gorge a-sayin' to his
self:
Hum, tum tiddle-dee; hum tum de!
Hum, tum tidd-e-dee; hum turn de!
Eff Tim Gums yere, an wants to fool
me,
Hell find I'm as yung as I uster to-
bel"
Captain West may be a-doin' his
dooty by Glis conshense, Mary Ann, but
he hain't a-docn' his dooty bi the Yoon-
yen Republicken party, Mary Ann. He
wuz nO1nmynated as a Addix man; run
as a Addix man; wuz eieckted as
Add.x man, an he's actin like j dom no
wet. AN in the Ease OF hit all he's
askin cur fellers IN the Legislature to
CIV him power to bild a bridge over
Whites kirk, down there mere Oahen
Vn Hits jes' terrible the amount Of
ohek the oil man has got after the way
he's bin actin. We might let him
git that bridge bEl thrco ef HEN con-
cent to an amendment a,iowin' as how
Mister Addix she'll maik the openin'
address.
I'm sorry to here as how the OF brin-
del kow has had the koMk. Ef che
gifts hit agen Civ hit sum salt an hot
lard an git Bob Rennelds an WiIbsr
Bernite to talk a fense ra1e an rub her
stumick with hit. Hits an unfailin'
remedy fer the ko,ik ef the lVow dom
dy under the Operashun, but dom git
the lard too hot or There mite be sum
tubble.
Them Dover fare fellers hain't comm
on very fast with uhsr approp opriashun.
Hits stuck in committee am a felier
who SEE as how lhe represents the Wa
wassst Drlvin' Park AssosiasIhun is a
tryin' to gobbel the hoe burned bill
declarln' that his rase track is jes' as
deserv.n' as the one at Dover. Hits a
turrubel mix-up, Mary Ann, an ef they
don sl7wore up bettern they've bin a
doin' I'll git in an git the money fel
the Masten's Korner HortylVulturel
Agriculture. an Pomylogikal Indus
tryal an Mechanical Exsposishun.
Mister Addrx is still a-gittin ateer
votes. Were expectin' sum Reglers K
cum over an sum Dimmokrats to wall
out, but we hain't ct there names yit
We're jss' a-hopin' as how sumthin' o
that kind is a-goin to happ.n. Hit
amusin' to see IIu C. Browne, Willyan
H. Heled an Bob Howsten a-layin
aroun' yere. They seem to no wot the-
want, but they dom seem to no how u
git hit Ef they're looN.n' fer bust IL
our lines they're a-looloin' in the rent
direckshun. Our fellers is rigid, a
Milf Wdlsun wud say, an they'l 81
igider AM rigider until They'll fele rit
stiff in the legs
Our seniters lis maxim a reckerd. A
! matter of fact. they're a-unnin' th
senit. Hit stands TO 9 in faver {
the Republicans an Yoonyun Repubf
kins. We got throo that resolooshu
endcrsin' the ship subsidee bill. The
we wen in fer rau.hkashun an expa1
hnn an them nine Dimokrats Civ 4
hat. After that wuz dun we made
it fer the votes of them eel pnoge
down on Indyan river am ef I had
l. n.fFH D.