The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1899-05-04
Tombstone Rareries.
Spirit. Paola. Kansas.

The Burlington Independent re-
marks that the following is from the
pen of G. B. Haywood, of the Ottawa
Journal, and was written by him one
afternoon after he had returned from
a fishing trip and his best girl had
roasted him for Decorating the
Sabbath:
"Beneath those rugged elms. tina. yew trees
shade,
Where heavens the earth in many a moulder-
ing heap.
Each in his narrow cell forever laid.
These silent victims of their folly sleep
Did you ever visit a cemetery on
Sunday afternoon, or any other
afternoon, and while wandering aim
Iessly and listlessly among the graves
call to mind the various kinds of |
folly that have sent victim hith er?
You will in all probability pause
beside the last resting place of the
fellow who blew into the muzzle of |
gun to ascertain if the gun was
loaded You will likely pass the
spot where repose the tattered rem.
nants of the reuben who warmed q
frozen dynamite into life by placing
it in the bosom of the kitchen stove
A little further down the pathway is
buried the fragments of the smart
young man who tried to Jump rap
Idly moving tram of cars. That
handsome marble shaft on the left,
giving the nama and age of the pop.
ulist statesman who blew cut the
gas, casts q shadow across the bosom
of the red headed servant girl who
started the kitchen fire with kero
sene. In close proximity, under
turf covered mound, lies all that is
mortal of that dear, innocent old
lady who kept baking powder and
rat poison upon the same pantry
shelf. The timid young girl and
her sweetheart, the cheerful idiot
, who rocked the boat, slumber peace,
J fully side by side. The dude who
wore plug hat while on visit to
Texas and the gambler who held
| five aces in game of draw at Grip
pie Greek, were brought home in
cold storage by their sorrowing
: friends and laid away under the
l shade of yon evergreen The fragile
maiden who laced her corset to It's
3 limit and then danced every set
, at the Four Hundred ball, sleeps
s not far from her lover, the addIe
+ pated imbecile who rode a bicycle a
+ mile in one and one-half minutes
t The stylish young man who lighted
9 cigarette while cleaning his trous
$ ers with gasoline reposes under g
: weeping willow, while the straYing
r branches of honeysuckle wave over
] the grave of little Willie, whose
= giddy mamma haedlessly gave him
f hair bleach for syrup of squills Be
meath a grassy hillock moulders al
that was left of the simpl.ton who
found the leak in the gas pipe by
: thu aid of candle The troubles OF
the farmer who stood in front of his
self binder in order TO oil the sickle
bar are now over as are also those oil
Il the battle scared veteran who fought
II in the Mexican war, won bright
l. laurels ia the rebellion, but failed tt
= draw his musket, muzzle end first
+ through a barb wire fence while
# hunting rabbits. That sunkeD, weed
n grown, neglected spot in the corne
:. of the cemetery marks the depositor.
r. of cigar box full of giblets-al
n that the section boss and his crew
b were able to seraps together of thu
d unknown who went to sleep on tn
re track, an empty whisky bottle telling
the story. And that rank, luxurian
d growth of last years dog fsnnsl over
\ ysndsr by the back fence, was fertil
lied by the remains of the chung
Is who tried to lick an editor.
ID There may be, perhaps, numbe
" OF choice corner lots as yet unten
.s anted, but the fool-killer will II hi
own good time provide everyons O
them with an occupant.