davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
CITY MAKES THE PROFIT.
How Ownership of Street Railways
Operates In Glasgow.

How Ownership of Street Railways
Operates In glasgow.
From the beginning Glasgow owned
It's own street railway lines. 1t was
too careful of It's streets to allow any
company to control them. Though the
conditions under which company
leased the lines for Fl years were high
ly favorable to the city, at the expir-
alton OF the lease 1t was decided not
over the company's rolling stock, sta
bles, etc, on an arbitrator's valuation,
on condition that the company should
not put on rival line Of buses AS
this was declined the council started
car shops and equipped the line with
new material entirely. On the day OF
the transfer the competing omnibuses
appeared, but the citizens had long ex-
perienced the advantages Of loyal sup
port OF their own government. All
the Establishments of the omnibus con-
ductors were unavailing; the omni-
buses ran empty, while the street cars
were crowded, and soon the chagrined
rivals withdrew from the uneven con-
test. Scotch shrewdness has been JUS
titled of her children. For short dis
tances system OF 1-cent fares has
been introduced; the cars have been
made more elegant and comfortable;
electric traction Is being installed. In
one year the number OF passengers was
doubled; and after paying interest on
the capital and providing an adequate
reserve fund, surplus of 100000 is
left to pay for open spaces, baths and
wash houses. river ferries, art exhibit
tons, music and improved sanitation.
--Harper's Magazine.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
DID HIS OWN MARRYING.
South Carolina Magistrate Read His
Own Ceremony.

John G. Thomson, 72 years Of age,
of Summerville, s. c., is probably the
first and only man who has officiated
at his own marriage service. Mr..
Thomason recognizes that he has done
something remarkable and worthy OF
notice. He was not phased In the
slightest. He said he wanted wife
and he Immediately began to try to get
one. He found several girls whom he
thought he could love and finally he
conferred all his affections upon one,
Miss Emily Alice Lamb, who resided
about seven miles from Summerville.
She agreed to marry him and arrange
ments for the marriage were immedi-
ately begun. Mr.. Thomason said that
the magistrates and ministers had
frequently expressed their sympathies
for him and their willingness to Of
ficiate when he got girl who would
be willing to marry him, but when he
finally produced her, they all flunked
and would not perform the ceremony.
Mr.. Thomason was not again to be
outdone, so he decided to officiate at
his own marriage. He secured num-
Der OF witnesses for the appointed
time, which was on the afternoon of
April %. Miss Lamb was present and
when the time came, he said he called
her and told her to stand at his left.
He then read the service, and at the
proper place took her hand. He made
his own responses, and at the conclu-
sion he told the gathering that he and
Miss Lamb were now Mr.. and Mrs.
Thomson, and they were congratu-
lated. Mr.. Thomson said that he had
been marrying people for twenty-five
years and he saw no reason why he
should not marry himself. He said
that he had discarded his former wife,
who deserted him last summer, and he
lives happily with his present wife,
who by the way, is the third woman to
whom he has been married Mrs. Tho
mason Is 80 years Of age.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
UNIQUE SCHEM E.
By which n Clever Man Made IA Living
by Eating Oysters.

ISy which n Clever Man Made IA Living
by Eating Oysters.
New Orleans Times-Democrat: 81
used to know a young man here who
made living by eating oysters" said
one of a little group about the coun-
ter Of the Grunewald. ATE them on
a wager, eh?" asked an Englishman in
the party. NO" replied the first
speaker, "he had much better scheme
than that. He would stroll into an
oyster bar-you know how many there
are in New Orleans-and order dozen
on the deep shell, always selecting a
time when several customers were
present. After swallowing two or
three he 1.-TWO or three custom
ers?" interrupted the Englishman.
"Naw!" said the teller, frowning,
two or three oysters. After he put
them away he would stop all Of a sud
den and feel in his mouth. Look here!
he would sing out to the bartender,
what kind of things do you keep In
your oysters, anyhow? I've nearly
broken TOOTH With that he would
take beautiful big pearl from between
MS lips. VI course, Inere was III IuOo-
tioning the genuineness OF gem In
that way, and everybody in the crowd
would look envious. Some one was
morally certain to make guess as to
its value. oh, WELL the oyster-eater
would say, 1 don't know anything
about pearls, and I'd be glad to sell this
one for S. / don't think he ever
failed to make trade on the spot, and
as soon as he got the five In his inside
pocket he would saunter out and work
another bar. He used to find about
four pearls a week, and as long as he
kept It down to that game was per-
fectly safe. But he grew avaricious at
last. and found SO many that folks got
suspicious and he considered 1t healthy
to leave for another fishery. He
bought the pearls by the gross from
a house in New Jersey. They were
very pretty pearls, and cost him about
6h cents apiece net. l have one In
scarf-pin now.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28

Il wonder if 1 might tell you all
about it,"
Smiles was fool when he said she
was nothing to look at" inwardly COM
mented Mr.. Martineau. Il never saw
such pretty mouth in my life! loud
he added: Il shall be only too grateful
if you will so far honor me-"
1T will take some time" she said,
doubtfully; land suppose, after all, l
have troubled you for nothing?"
How could that be-"
WELL" she answered, blushing and
laughing, "it is best to be quite frank.
I'll tell you what l mean. l have been
saving up money for long time for
this purpose, and supposing, when
have done my story, you find that to
do what l want you to do will cost
more money than have to spend, will
you tell me so, please? 1 know so lit
tie about the law. and so forth"
Certainly will tell you; but if you
merely want will searched for, l can
assure you-"
81 keep on telling you that you don't
understand" she cried, impatiently.
Let me tell you all about it."
Il am all attention; but, before you
commence, would it greatly inconven-
fence you to tell me who you at present
imagine yourself to be, or, if you have,
no ideas upon the subject, under what
title do you choose at present to be
known?"
YES" she rejoined, Il will tell you
what l am acknowledgements Lii
bourne; but whether that is my real
name or not I cannot tell you. l do
not think it is?"
why not?" he asked, with sudden
start.
81 will tell you'll am just going to
begin"
Thanks. All l have to suggest is
that you begin at the beginning, and
that you don't attempt to tell me more
than one thing at time. 1 know you
will excuse me, but even ladies are
mortal, and have their besetting sins,
among which is usually the total in
ability to tell a story. Try to prove
yourself an exception to the rule"
The lady client was offended. She
took up her umbrella and rose.
II am a novice in the art of narra-
tion," she said, with a haughtiness
which ne did not expect from her, "and
I might irritate your high strung
nerves. had better wish you good
morning, and will only trouble you
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
CHAPTER T

Cf1Af Ell i.
"a lady to see you, sir. She asked
for your uncle, sir, but told her he
was out of town, and then she said
you'd do, SIR"
1T was a great condescension on
her part, Smiles. What might be her
age, do you think, Smiles?"
"Her age, sir?"
Yes; / really don't feel inclined to
be bothered by seeing anybody. I'm
In beastly temper this morning-ask
the office boy If I'm not. So would any
man be If he was tied to London Of
nee In August-and such an August
as this! I'm pretty comfortable just
at this minute, without my coat and
waistcoat. If I see the lady, shall
have to put them on Query-Is the
lady worth the trouble? That's what
want to ascertain"
We'll, sir, she's young-very young,
as You might say, SIR"
And what's she like to look at,
Smiles?" ....
We'll, sir, can't say she's much to
look at. No, can't go as far as that"
said Smiles, rather ruefully, scratching
the top Of his bald head. "She's rather
shabby, sir. Not good-looking."
We'll, perhaps she'll improve when
she's old enough to know better.
suppose I must see her. You show her
In, Smiles, in exactly five minutes
from now-neither more nor less. Do
you hear? The ladys plainness is
forgiven on the score of youth and in
experience. I'll see her in five min
utes."
yes, SIR"
Left to himself, Mr.. Martineau
stretched his long legs, and sighed,
with his face turned to the ceiling.
TITS pretty dear price to pay for a
Junior partnership" he said; "to be
in London this hot weather, while the
old gentleman is enjoying himself in
the land O. cakes; but l suppose, after
all, am lucky dog, and mustn't quar-
rel with my bread and butter" Here
he rose, and stretched an unwilling
arm toward his waistcoat. "Septem-
Der will soon be here" he reflected
more cheerfully, "and then hey for
Clarisdale and Lady Mildred!"
Punctually at the expiration Of the
five minutes Smiles opened the door,
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
I'M zEsgs's Hlly ~
BY RoBIN VGREI
Mr.. Leroy is away?"
HTn Cnoflond

Mr.. Leroy is away?"
"In Scotland"
II am very sorry for that sne said
earnestly.
so am I, if it gives you inconven-
ience," asserted Mr.. Martineau; but l
am his partner-can't / do something
for you? / will endeavor to compen-
safe for lack of capacity by extra dill
gence."
You must know" she said after an
other short pause, during which she
seemed to be making up her mind, at
is very difficult task that 1 have to
set you. l want you to tell me who
l am"
"Ah-really," returned the young
melancholy nod of the head, really,
you know, I'm afraid can't oblige you
there!"
did you ever hear of anything so
ridiculous?" she said, laughing. Have
you ever thought how remarkably
queer you would feel If you didn't
know who you were?"
I'm afraid I've never thought OF
such a thing" he admitted, almost
with reluctance. 1T seems rather like
nightmare, doesn't it,"
That's exactly what it is like" she
said; "only a nightmare which lasts
for years is exceptionally trying. !
feel as if l should like to wake UP
now! / thought that Mr.. Leroy might
be able to wake me-" There was a
touch of rueful melancholy in the last
| words.
IF you won't consider my curiosity
impairment" said Mr.. Martineau, with
infinite solemnity, may 1 ask in what
manner you thought he would set
about it?"
He made my fathers WILL" ex-
planned the lady client, ''and thought
he might in consequence be able to
tell me my fathers name"
II admit the extreme probability OF
your theory" returned the young man;
'but-forgive my obtuseness-if you
are sure Of your fathers identity
why should you hesitate about your
OWN"
"Oh, you don't understand at all!
she exclaimed with conviction. "The
affair is by no means so simple as all
that. 1 wonder"-she put her head or
one side and looked wistfully at him
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
Town Farthest Removed from Sea.

Kuldja, which is said to be the CEN
ter of Asia, is claimed to be the far
thest removed town from the sea in
the world. This town, which formed
part of the ancient kingdom of Dzoun
CARA, is between 1900 and 1000 miles
from the sea. Kuldja is the point from
which numerous races have migrated
to the low and arid steppes of the
Aralo Caspian depression, and the still
more distant and better favored re-
gions of the west. On the fertile
banks of the Iii and Irish, the migrat-
ing hordes fingered for time, 10th, as
it were, to venture out into the un.
known plain before them, stretching
far away into sandy deserts that sep
arate Europe from Asia, until a new
tide of popular migration forced them
at last to strike their tents and depart
westward from their mountainous halt
ing-ground.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
How They Rewarded Madame Sterling

How They Rewarded Madame Sterling
Madame Antoinette Sterling. the
contralto singer and evangelist, had an
experience In the Bombay presidency,
India. which is as quaint as any OF
Kipling's tales of the hills. She was
campaigning with Pundita Ramabai.
and through her magnificent voice was
drawing thousands of natives to her
meetings. They had never seen that
kind OF a missionary before, and had
never heard a voice like hers. They
we're so pleased with her work that
they said to themselves: This is a
foreign woman guru, and for fear OF
giving offense to US she has omitted
to put her begging-bowl outside of her
door for us to put in the customary
contributions" In India, every guru
or holy person carries a brass, wood or
clay begging-bowl into which the de-
vout put some small sum Of money.
Madame Sterling walked out upon the
veranda of her bungalow one morning,
and there, to her amazement, found
two begging bowls. One, little one,
with few annas in 1t intended for the
Pundita, and one, an enormous affair,
containing a handsome sum Of annas
and rupees for herself, The only ex-
PLANTATION she could ever extract from
the servant was this: Little bowl
little money for the little Pundita with
little voice. Big bowl-big money for
big Missahib with big voice." Madame
Sterling was one Of the principal
speakers among the American women
at the International council recently
held In London.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
WiIIiams Hired Hands.

There are 1900 persons upon the
German emperor's list of employees, in
Guiding $50 women servants, who are
engaged in looking after the twenty
two royal palaces and castles that be-
long to the crown.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
A Bad Break.

Philadelphia Bulletin: Riva-Did
you say, This is so student" when
Jack finally proposed? Nita--No; I
intended to, you know, but / was so
frustrated that l forgot and cried Sat
last!' instead.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28

There Is evidently everything in a
name. Phil Graves Is an undertaken
In an Ohio village.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28
NEW USE FOR TOY BALLOONS.

The increasing risk of collisions at
sea, with all their terrible conse-
quences, stimulates the interest that
would in any circumstances be aroused
by rational proposal for reducing the
danger of death by drowning.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28

A Frenchman, M. Charles Janet, has
recently carried out experiments at
Beauvais with the object of proving
that by means of India rubber "bal-
looms" as children call them, which
may be carried in a very small COM
pass and rapidly filled with air in time
of danger, a person who knows moth
ing of swimming can keep afioat in the
toughest water.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28

Nothing could be more simple than
the apparatus, and it can be put into
box no larger than lady's purse 1t
consists of yard or so of whipcord,
to which are attached four balloons"
rolled up, and what is necessary for
blowing them out and keeping them
afterward alright. The balloons"
should be filled to only about half of
their full extent, so that they may
offer sufficient resistance to the waves.
This resistance is very remarkable,
considering the lightness of the ma
terial. M. Janet's children having
fastened the apparatus just described
to the upper part of the body, jumped
into water thrown into violent COM
motion by the opening of sluice-gates,
and although they were hurled into the
eddies and drawn under by the force
of the current, their disappearance
was only momentary, whereas strong
swimmers in the same circumstances
would have run the risk of drowning.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28

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Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28

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Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1899-09-28

| will back out" That process Is going
on all the time, and men enter into
the relation without any moral prin-
ciple, without any affection, and 1t Is
as much a matter of stock speculation
as anything that was transacted yes
terday In Union Pacific, Wabash, and
Delaware and Lackawanna. Now, sup
pose a man understood, as ne ought to
understand, that IL he goes into that
getting out, or no probability, he would
be more slow to put his neck in the
yoke. He should say to himself.
Rather than Caribbean whirlwind
with a whole fleet of shipping in its
arms, give me zephyr off fields OF
sunshine and gardens of peace"
Rigorous divorce law will also hinder
women from the fatal mistake of mar
rying men to reform them. II young
man, by rs years OF age or 80 years OF
age, have the habit of strong drink
fixed on him, he is as certainly bound
for a drunkard,s grave as that train
starting out from Grand Central depot
at o'clock tomorrow morning is
bound for Albany. The train may not
reach Albany, for 1t may be thrown
from the track. The young man may
not reach a drunkard's grave, for
something may throw him off the iron
track of evil habit, but the probability
Is that the train that starts tomorrow
morning at s o'clock for Albany will
get there. and the probability Is that
the young man who has the habit of
strong drink fixed on him before rs or
80 years of age will arrive at drunk
ards grave. She knows he drinks, al
though he tries to hide 1t by chewing
cloves. Everybody knows he drinks.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1899-12-20

strictly ministerial obligations. Ho wir
out I'm The Far West a good deal. where
The people are striving 20 build up their
churches, and perhaps he thus Judged
the whole nation by new settlemonis
Anyhow, 81 bic own church land Che
doctor himselD isn't a little worldly
let's see, He is quoted 10 en- EDglish
Journal &c saying Don't you think that
there viii be a theater ao long as chill
dren act by instinct and the grown-ups
love TO see good actnR2" Yep, I do, but
I am not going to oriticise you for advo-
eating it when you are a blue Scotch
Presbyterian, accusing Americans Of con-
verting their churches into social clubsl
I am with you in thinking that, instead
Of ostraCizing the theater, we should en-
courage the managers to produce pure,
noble, good plays till only the high
drama be profitable and the lower not
countenanoed. But is DR.. Watson at last
very consistent in his expressions for
publication? We, us, Of Uncle Sans
domain can run our own churches with
out any help from English tourists or
Scotch divineE
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1899-12-20
ONO Hao ~ MaIorIfv.

There are many interesting "conteu"
in the United States which change about
from time 10 time bat at present are 81
follows; Che center Of population &.
about hitoon miles west Of Columbia.
Ind, the center Of wealth 20 &C Olsvs.
land, Ohio, the center Of debt ls a
umn, Ohio; Ohio can also claim enc
center Of pauporiHm which 70 90 Chilli
oolhe and that Of crime which b 3.
Columbus, the center Of agriculture a
90 OtnmWa loves the misunderstanding
center % % Ede Penui iho center o.
railroads igai ia Sane. ni the oanlol
Of education 81 20 L.ma. OhIoi no oen.
tor Of illlouey "a % Jackson, Tenn.
Ihh latter s.alononl d based on lho
ablIt oVr'ie on ihe pui y panons
'.m Ion oa
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1899-12-20
Just Saved His Life.

It was a thrilling escape that Charles
Davis, Of BoWerston, o., lately had from
a irightful death. For two years asevere
lung trouble constantly grew worse I'M
til It seemed he must die with consump-
ton. Then he began to use DR.. Kings
New Discovery and lately wrote: at
gave instant relief and affected q psrman-
emit cure" Such wonderful cures have
for 25 years, proven its power to cure all
throat, chest and lung troubles. Price
SOC and SlOO. Every bottle guaranteed.
Trial bottle free at Short & Haynes drug
store.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1899-12-20
Threw up Ills Job.

A ianitor in a neighboring school
threw up his job the other day, says an
exchange. When asked what was the
trouble, be answered: "I'm honest and
/ won't stand being slurTed. II I find a
pencil or handkerchief about the school
when Pm sweeping hang It up. Every
little while the teachers or someone that
is too CoWardlY to face me, give me a
slur." "In what way" said an officer.
"Why, q little while ago / saw written
on the board, Find the common multi
ple,' Well / looked from cellar 10 gar
ret, and I wouldn't know the thing If I
met it on the street. What made me
quit my job? Last night in the big
Writin' on the blackboard, It said, Find
the greatest common divisor! Well 1
says to myself, both them darned things
are lost now, and I'll got blamed for
swipingsm, 30 I'll quit"
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1899-12-20
Brave Men Fan

Victims TO stomach, liver aud kidney
troubles as well as women, and an iesl
the results IN loas Of appetite, poisons in
the blood, backaohes, nervouanoss. head.
ache, and tired, nBtloas, rundown FEEL
nc. But there's no need 30 feel ike
thet' Listen % j. W Gardner. IdavilIs.
Ind. He myai Electric BIttam are iurt
the thing Coz q man when ho d an mn
down. and don't care whether DO live or
dies ~ did more 70 give ne new
strength and good appetite than any.
thing could take can nov eat any.
hing and have q now iaaaa ora n.e.H
)nly 80 cent? % Short & Hayna Drrq
loIa alell t1''.e wrn