The sun., 1899-03-12
HE'S NOT MAJOR STOFER.
Plain Mister VIII Do for This Well-Known
Mantle Reason for 1t.


Man-The Reason for 1t.
WASHINGTON March 1O-A mans military
rank rises rapidly as he goes southwark. and
after he is appointed to public office in Wash
ington 1t takes only the lifetime OF one political
administration to carry him from the rank OF
private to that OF Major or Colonel or General.
II he Is absolutely peace loving and war fear
ing creature like Alfred j. Stofer, with no pat-
ronaRe to dispense. his friends and would-be
friends let ii go at Major. but II he holds pub
lie Office his military rank is adjusted according
to the amount Of salary he receives and the
quantity of loaves and fishes at his disposal
Many man who came to Washington rs a
public servant at the close OF the war has re-
joced to see his military rank keep close pace
with his promotions on Uncle Sans payroll
While an hum BILE clerk at 20 the title Of Captain
made him diff his head high. but at 80
he believes himself fully entitled to
be addressed as Colonel or General. and is
offended il an unpretending citizen carelessy
forgets the title. The four Assistant Postmas-
ters- General are called General " by those in
the department and out of it who expectantly
and gladly take advantage Of the opportunity
to convert one OF the parts OF speech into n
convenient military title Under this custom
the able and popular First Assistant Perry S.
| Heath who when he became member OF the
Mckinley Administration was plain Colonel.
| having enjoyed that rank as member OF the
| military staff OF Gen. Hoveyof Indiana. Is now
| a full-hedged General
| But to return to Major" Stofer. Not n
| military man in any sense OF the word. not
| wthstandinG that he has record OF killing
| more Union soldiers during the civil war than
any ten men on the Federal side thaving sold
| home made pies at the railroad station in his
native town OF Culpaper Court House. Va.
he Is yet forced TO struggle through the
| legislative. executive and social maZes OF
| Was hington life as Major. When he first
came to Washington twenty years ago to es-
caused by his deadly pie exploits. some we'll
meaning friend introduced him into polite So
eiety as MaIah Stofer Of { 1CHpepe5T Cote Co House.
remained In spitelof HIS protests and appeals.
| Although he has more personal acquaint-
| ances than any other newspaper corre-
| spondent In Washington and possesses more
OF the attributes Of popularity, for many rca-
| sons other than his fame as singer OF planta-
tion melodies and teller OF stories. folklore
especially, Stoter is exceedingly modest. TINS
| Is the fundamental reason why he fights night
and day against his repugnant military title.
| 1t implies distinction TO which he Is not enti-
honest minded, giving credit TO those to whom
credit is due and taking none 10 himself
and permitting none to be given him with
Then, again. II is great drawback TO him
| in his matrimonia al hopes, and In this
consideIatlon may be found the MaIor-that
| he looks upon the matter. the title OF Major
means either that he Is old enough to have
been an onicer during the civil war, which In
any one OF the debutantes who have shown him
/ favor during the social season lust passed. or
ne SasR Y ReFy dor IN the tRe WaT M
! under the law Of Congress-. No bud Of society