The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1899-06-02
TRICK ON TIE HENS.

TRICK ON TIE HENS.
A Consc1enceless Connecticut Yan.
KEGS Mean Way Of Making
Them Work Overtime.
| II hate to tell this story" said the
man from Long Island, as he raked his
Echin whiskers with his fingers. "It's q
table of deception and the betrayal OF
the condolences of Woodworking crca-
lures.
SWELL, to boil it down. it was this
way. A thin-faced Yankee moved over
from Connecticut, bringing with him
about so hens. He fixed up the old
barn on the place next to mine, which
he bought, and he installed the poultry,
with three or four arrogant roostcrs,
in this here barn. He gave out, al-
though he didn't talk much, that he
was a-goin' to run an egg farm. He
called it an egg ranch. AS he wasn't
sociable to sny large extent. and was
in the habit of drinkin' by himself, no.
body paid much attention to him. We
let him potter around and Just formed
the conclusion that he was mighty
mean man. And, by ginger spruce! ne
was the meanest, low-downdest ,cuss
that I've ever run up against, and we
have seine purity mean members OF the
tribe over in Long Island. =,
''Well, things went along, and this fel.
low--l'erkins was his name = went
down to the railroad station every day
n shipped his eggs to N. York. One
day Sam Martin came to me and sez
sezzee:
"'Joe, how many hens has that ere
Perkins fellow got layin' for him?'
''Well, I didn't know edzacktly, but
the postmaster, who keeps the grocery
store as a side show to his business
with Uncle Sam, he Clipped n m says:
Why, he's only got so hens; I count
ed EN-
""That's jes' what thought says
Sam, n that's why asst we. Ye see
| that Teller is sendin' about IL dozen
eggs to Their city every day. He can't
make eggs, n he don't steal 'em, fer
nobody's missed none, so where n thun.
der does he get emp
''To tell the truth, we all thought Sam
was mistaken, but the next day l was
down at the railroad station, and so
were a lot of others. Sure enough, Per-
kins shipped about IL dozen eggs to
the market.
"Now, you folks who live up here
can't think how that Perkins egg sit
uation bothered us. We stopped talkin'
politics, church squabbles were lost
sight of, n we didn't do anything but
talk about the Perkins egg output day
time and in the post Office at night.
Blmeby 1T came to a crisis. The strain
was a-gettin' too heavy. We were losin'
| sleep over the matter. It was decided
that we must investigate. We appoint
a committee and went out to Per-
kins' place. But do you think he'd let
us get within. ten feet of that barn ?
| Nary.
/ 1--WE felt bad over our. throw-tlown
for day or two and finally somebody
suggested that Perkins had cast Il spell
Oh the hens. The thing looked super
natural, uncanny, you know, so to get
at the g1st of the whole thing we de-
cided to sneak out to that barn some
night about midnight. Well, we did n
I'll never forget that night till my dy-
ing day. We sneaked up to the barn.
Everything was quiet, n we didn't no.
tice that he'd run electric light wires
from the big hotel into the barn. How
somever, we got bold n one of the
gang threw open the barn door.
'Say, gentlemen, it was the saddest
sight of my life. I've seen deceived
women and such, but this beats 'em all,
for those hens were dumb creatures.
Whatjer think this mean cuss of Per-
kins had done? Well, he'd hung up
painted scenery, like we see in the thee
ayters, all around the sides of the barn,
to look like landscape. Then from
the middle of the roof hung down a
dozen electric lights. Around the sides
of the barn in their boxes, set the most
woebegone, detected, wornout set OF
hens you ever saw. If you ever saw
agony in hens face it was there. Why
they had almost human lines of care
writ in their faces.
"You see the game of this Perkins
party was slick one. It was this away.
He'd turn on the electric lights for four
hours n the hens would do their duty
n lay their usual eggs. Then he'd turn
off the lights, n go to bed. He'd let
'em sleep for four hours, n then slap
would go the light on again full glare
The misguided hens would think it was
another day and strain themselves
work overtime, as it were, and lay an
other egg apiece. The poor things did
not know how they were fooled, but
they knew something was wrong, n
the appealing looks they turned to us
made us almost cry. Say, some of those
fowls were On the verge of suicide.
swell, we held an indignation meet
ing the next day, n the result was that
this Perkins teller moved back to Con.
necticut to dodge the Cruelty to Ami
mails people" IN. Y. Sun.
Almost Unnerved Her.
Marie-Maude and were downtown
yesterday, and as we were walking
along one of the streets we looked up
and saw men on a ladder, painting d
building. They must have been at
least 200 feet above the ground, and all
of a sudden one of them slipped and al
most fell. I was terribly shocked.
Harry-Tm not surprised at that. I
suppose in your minds eye you could