davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1899-02-08
The Leading Premiums:

For the largest number Of subscribers
RETURNEDAnd PAID FOR, atSl.75, we
offer the choice between the following pre-
miums: HIGH GRADE BICYCLE,
valued at $50; quarter-leathert top "ROCK
HILL BUGGY" valued at S75; hand
some SUIT OF FURNITURE valued
at $50. For the NEXT LARGEST
CLUB, we will give the choice between
the above articles left after first choice:
SUBSCRIBERS we will give all OPEN
may be seen at the store of W. B MOORE
Il CO., and the buggies in the warerooms
of the respective manufacturers In York
Vile and Rock Hill. The bicycle is to be
the 1899 model, descriptive catalogues OF
which have not yet been published.
In addition to the competitive premiums
mentioned above, we also offer various other
premiums for clubs containing specified num-
bers OF names, and propose 70 denver sne pre- pre-
returned and paid for. Upon securing one
premiums watch or sewing machine. say
the clubmaker will be at liberty TO try Tor the
same thing again, or for anything else on the
OF MARCH, 1899, ne shall hsve succeeded in
returning and paying for the largest number
OF NEW NAMES, he will be entitled to the
CAROLINA BUGGY" just the same as Il
he had not previously taken other premiums
Now, then, read the list:
FOR 60 SUBSCRIBERS.
We will give the clubmaker his choice Of the
following premiums, each valued at $25: 4
FOUR DRAWER "ENQUIRERn SEWING
MACHINE, together with all attachments
a "HOUSEKEEPER'S" SET OF KNIVES
FORKS AND SPOONS, made by Rogers Q
"WALTHAM" WATCH in coin silver, dust
proof case.
FOR 40 AND LESS THAN 90
SUBSCRIBERS, we will give the clubmakel
his choicOof the following, each valued at $l5
case; set Of half dozen ROGERS BROS,
KNIVES and FORKS az PIECES; or LOW
ARM SINGER SEWING MACHINE.
FOR 80 AND LESS THAN 40
choice Of the following, each
valued at $40: NEW YORK STANDARD
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1899-02-08
Anmpro,ls department.
A STINGY MAN.

T don't mind man being econo-
mical," said Colonel Bonely, "but do
despise to see stinginess. You all know
John Nutwing-the fellow that used
to sell soda water and grumble when a
customer insisted on taking it with
syrup. Well, he was the stingiest man
l ever saw. Why, sir, he was so
stingy that he used to let his meat
spoil. Said he couldn't afford to eat it
while it was so valuable. One day a
cart came along with barrel of wa
ter. Just as it was passing Johns
gate, the thing broke down. Well,
John went out, caught half the water
and poured it in his well. Said that
he couldn't afford to see anything
wasted. o, yes, he was close. l was
with him when he died. He was per-
fectly willing, though he dreaded the
expense of having grave dug. "Col-
onel," said he, addressing me in an
anxious way that had become one OF
his characteristics, "can't you git some
of the boys and induce 'em to dig a
grave as a matter of consideration l
did intend to be buried under the pear
tree, but the land is so valuable l can't
afford it," "You don't seem to be
very SICK" said 1. Perhaps you may
recover" 30, no, I'm gone," he re-
piled. I took poison just before send.
ing for you. I decided that l could
not afford to live. It's too expensive.
After a fellow dies, you know, and
gets settled down, the expenses cease.
That confounded druggist cheated me.
I had to pay five cents for the poison.
He should have given me two doses
for that sum-" He was so stingy that
he died without struggle. Taking
everything into consideration, John
was the closest man l ever saw"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1899-02-08

not" the great millionaire replied
"My health is shattered and all the
money I have cannot restore it. l can
not even drive one of my own fine
horses. 1t is painful for me to sit
down. My only possible exercise Is to
walk down the avenue. receive
threatening letters daily, and my
nerves are 30 unstrung that I am con.
stantly afraid that some assassin will
waylay me. I am overrun with people
who want to get my money. am the
most wretched man in New York, and
tell you that after person has &C
cumulated enough to secure him
against poverty and crafty his reas
enable wants, every dollar in addition
is burden and weighs him down."
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1899-02-08

WHY He, WAS SILENT.-Ata recent
dinner party the subject of eternal
life and future punishment came W
for a lengthy discussion, in which
Mark Twain, who was present, took
no part. A lady near him turned
suddenly toward him and exclaimed
"Why do you not say anything?
want your opinion" Twain replied
gravely: "Madam, you must excuse
me; am silent of necessity; l have
friends in both places"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1899-02-08

In A HURRY.-"I have a severe
bruise on my arm, doctor, and would
like to have you give me something to
heal it, said Sam Simpson, who always
has got something the matter with
him.
Gail right" said the doctor, hurried
ly writing prescription. "Send this
to the apothecary at once. Don't lose
a minutes time. Runw
"Then you think the wound is dan
gerous ?" said the patient.
"No. 1 am afraid it will completely
heal up before / have a chunce to ap'
ply the salve and enter charge of s.
you." =.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1899-02-08

H4 A chemist in Albany, expatiating
on the late discoveries in chemical
science, observed that snow had been
found to possess considerable degree
of heat, whereupon an old lady observ-
ed, "that truly chemistry was valu-
able SCIENCE" and anxious that the
discovery might be made profitable,
inquired of the professor what number
of snowbals would be sufficient to boil
a tea-kettle.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1899-02-08

A FRENCH LIE FIGHT.-"Fancy x
is so fat that he has not seen his feel
for the last ten years." Nothing ex'
traordinary in that. know student
that is so tall that he has to climb on
a ladder to take off his hat" "That's
nothing at all. I have cousin whose
legs are so long that when he catches
cold on the 1st of January, he does no,
begin sneezing till the oath or 25th o.
the same month"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1899-02-08

s4 Visitor-What bright eyes you
have, my little man. You get plenty
of sleep, I presume. Little man
Yes'm. My mamma makes me 60 to
bed every night at s O'Clock. Visl,
tor-So you will keep very strong and
healthy? Little man-No'm. 80 she
can mend my pants.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1899-02-08

s@- There was an old lady in New
England once who was wont to say
that she never "felt so happy as when
she could sit right down in all her
misery and enjoy it," This same lugu,
brious old female, when she was told
that there was no such thing as eternal
punishment, no literal hell, expressed
her disgust, saying she had hoped for
better things"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1899-02-08

s@ A young man thrusts his heat
out of the window of a cab and erie!
to the driver: "Why don't you ge
faster? 1 am going to be married this
morning, and at this rate / will arrive
too late for the wedding" Drive
(sympathetically)-"Well, what of it
/ am giving you plenty of time to re
fleet"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1899-02-08

WHEAT ADvANcING.-There has
been a noticeable advance in May
wheat futures on the Chicago ex-
change. The spectators, of course,
claim that it is purely question Of
supply and demand.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1899-02-08

aaT A poet hath remarked that "all
paths lead to the grave" He un,
doubtedly referred to allopaths and
homeopaths and hydropaths and the
rest of NJ. D. paths.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1899-02-08
! Zg1UIV1111 AZ

what manner of man it is they have
sent to the United States senate in the
place of the noble Joseph II. Earle.
Very respectfully, T. J. STRAIT.
Washington, D. c., Feb. l, 1899.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1899-05-11
now HE LosT BIER.
He struck Out and She Gave Her
self to the Young Man Who
Didn't Play Hall.

A bright flush overspread the face Of the
young girl in the pink shirt waist, who sat
in the grand stand, as the stalwart young
man who had played in the field in the first
half of the inning stepped to the plate, bat
in hand.
Lime 'er out, old mani" "Threeba
hit" Good boy!" Home runl" Hit i
in de nose" "Swat it good an hard!"
sung out the cranks.
The stalwart young man carelessly lifted
his cap, replaced it, grasped his bat with a
frmer hold, moved il in graceful circles over
his shoulder while the pitcher was doing
the preliminary mysterious Juggling with
the ball that marks the highpriced player,
and as the leather sphere-it is the correct
form to call it a leather sphere-came
toward him like rifle shot he swung his bat.
"Ah!" groaned the crowd
He had famed the air,
This phrase is also the correct form.
Again the high.priced pitcher juggled the
ball mysteriously, again 1t came ike rifle
shot, again the young man at the plate
swung his bat
And again the crowd groaned;
The high.priced catcher rolled the ball
carelessly down TO third, put on his mask,
NaiHc Nluhe bShluu NllS uati hpLSuu hlS HlbH'
priced legs apart, placed his hands on his
knees, leaned forward, and made an inn
perceptible signal to the high-priced pitcher.
The vast crowd held its breath.
Which is also the correct thing to do at a
critical moment like this.
Like shot the ball sped toward the plate,
With mighty lunge the young athlete
swung his bat third time.
1t smote only the air.
Another groan burst from the crowd.
He had not only struck out, but put the
side out.
"Mr, Spoonamore," said the young WON.
an in the pink shirt waist turning with pale
cheeks and flashing eyes to the pmply-faced
young man who sat by her side. II said mo-
to you the other day. say yes now. will
marry you whenever you like!"-Chicago
Tribune.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1899-05-11
SOLUTION OF TRUST PROBLEM
A Political Friend OF the President Says
the Law of Competition Must Again
Reassert Itself.

Cleveland, o., May Sat the dedica-
tion of the new chamber of commerce
the chief speaker, j. G. w. Cowles, ex-
president of the chamber and strong
Hanna-McKinley republican, after dis
cussing trusts and Analysing their good
and bad features, declared that the
only solution of the problem was to
regulate them and keep them within
bounds by means of free trade. He
said that our 'infant industries"
had shown themselves capable OF
entering foreign markets and TAX
ing the trade from foreign COM
petition, while at the same time
they were hiding behind protective
tariff at home and keeping prices up.
"The law of competition must again
reassert ITSELF" said Cowles, "even If
the protective tariff system be swept
away" Cowles' statement seems all
the more significant in view of the fact
that it follows Senator Hanna's inter
view some weeks ago in which he said
free trade was coming.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1899-05-11
SAVED THE SECRET.
He Hoodwinked His Trusting Wiley
But at what n Fearful Cost
to Himself,

He had been out late. When he reached
his residence the church clock was Ginning
FIVE. Heavy, weary, disguised, he opened
the front door with some difficulty, and soft
ly toied up the stairs, entering the bed
chamber with elaborate caution.
Thank goodness, she was asleep
He dropped into a chair, and, without
taking off his coat or hat, began to remove
his shoes. One he placed with great care
upon the floor, but, alas as he took off the
other it slipped out of his hand and fell
with loud noise.
"Wifey" awoke on the instant.
She looked at him and then at the sum-
mer sunlight that streamed through the
blinds.
"Why, George, what are you getting up
so early for?"
Talk about repreves
"Why, my dear" replied George, with
the clearest enunciation of which he was
capable, IL found couldn't sleep, SO l
thought I'd get up and go out and take a
walk"
And out the poor wretch went, dragging
himself round YEARLY for an hour upon the
verge of tears and torpor.-Cincinnati En-
qulrer.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1899-05-11
An Excellent Combination.

The pleasant method and beneficial
effects of the well known remedy,
SYRUP OF FIGs, manufactured by the
CALIFORNIA Fro SYRUP Co., illustrate
the value of obtaining the liquid laXa-
tive principles of plants known to be
incidentally laxative and presenting
them in the form most refreshing to the
taste and acceptable to the system. 1t
is the one perfect strengthening laxa-
tive, cleansing the system effectually,
dispelling colds, headaches and fevers
gently yet promptly and enabling one
to overcome habitual constipation per-
manently. Its perfect freedom from
every Objectionable quality and sub
stance, and its acting on the kidneys,
liver and bowels, without weakening
or irritating them, make it the ideal
laxative.
In the process of manufacturing figs
are used, as they are pleasant to the
taste, but the medicinal qualities of the
remedy are obtained from SIENNA and
other aromatic plants, by method
known to the CALIFORNIA FIe SYRUP
Co. only. In order to get its beneficial
effects and to avoid limitations, please
remember the full name of the Company
printed on the front of every package.
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP co.
SAN FRANCISCO. CAL.
LOUISVILLE. KY. NEW YORK. N. Y.
For sale by all Druggists. Soc. per bottle.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1899-05-11
The Moonshlner Explained.

A Georgia revenue man had novel
experience recently with moon
sinner in a suspected district. Early
one morning he discovered an old man
standing near grave in the mountain
region. But the trouble about this
grave was that the revenue man had
observed smoke issuing from the place
where the headboard should have been.
He surprised the old man, who ilnme-
diately feigned great sorrow, explain
ing his presence there by the statement
that his brother was buried there. At
the mention of his brother he feigned
great grief and said he ''never would
get over tit wuz SIGH hard dispen-
sation of providence. "But isn't it
peculiar" said the revenue man, "that
1 see a stovepipe at the head of his
grave, and smoke issuing therefrom?"
stranger, replied the weeping moon
sinner, ''he died in his sins, an hits
my opinion they're a-roastin of him
down belown'-Atlanta Constitution.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1899-05-11
SPEAKER THOMAS B. REED.
He Arrives at Southampton and Expresses
Regret That People Could Not Leave
His Affairs Alone.

Southampton, May 5.-The American
line steamer New York arrived here
to-day. Speaker Thomas B. Reed said
to the correspondent of the Associated
press, who greeted him at the steam
ship pier, that he had come to Europe
for rest. He was shown a cablegram
published here in which it was stated
that he had not resigned his post as
speaker of the house of representatives
and that he may be candidate for the
presidency. Mr.. Reed expressed great
indignation and said he regretted that
people could not leave his affairs alone.
He had come here, he said, away from
newspapers for absolute repose. He
was going to Winchester and Salisbury
and thence to Paris.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1899-05-11
WANTS A WHIPPING POST.
Gov. Roosevelt Would Adopt Severe Pun
islbment for Those Who Beat Their
Wives and Abuse Children,

Albany, N. Y, May 5.-Gov. Roose-
welt denied the application for pardon
for Henry Hendricks, who is serving a
life sentence in Auburn prison for the
killing of his wife, whom he shot to
death because of his mad infatuation
for another woman. Hendricks, who
is go years old, has served 90 years of
his sentence. From the remarks made
by the governor, wife-murderers, wife
beaters and those who cruelty treat
children and dumb animals will re-
ceive no mercy at his hands upon APP
plications for pardons or combinations
of sentences. The governor is strong
advocate of the establishment of a
whipping post for such as these, and
says if such bill is introduced in the
legislature next year he will sign it.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1899-05-11
Dcnfnenn Cnnnot ne cured

by local applications, as they cannot reach
the diseased portion Of the ear. There is
only one way to cure deafness, and that is
by constitutional remedies. Deafness is
caused by an inflamed condition of the mu.
cous lining Of the Eustachian Tube. When
TINS duOe geIS yEu nave nmd SHn
entirely closed deafness is the result, and
unless the inflammation can be taken out
and this tube restored TO its normal con.
dtion, hearing will be destroyed forever.
nine cases of Of ten are caused by catarrh,
which is nothing but an inhamed condition
of the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any
case of Deafness Caused by catarrh that
cannot be cured by Halls CatOrrh Cure.
Send for circulars, free.
j. Cheney & Co., Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists, Toe.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1899-05-11
LARGE INTERESTS INVOLVED.
Yerkes Sells His Chicago Street Railway
Interests to an Eastern Syndicate Head
ed by Ex-Secretary Whitney.

Chicago, May Sin this city yester-
day the NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. syn
dictate, Of New York and Philadelphia,
closed gigantic transportation deal.
More than $5O,OOO,OOO is directly in
volved and, indirectly, the capital con-
cerned amounts to nearly $50, 900, 900,
Following are the results:
Consolidation Of the Yerkes street railway
lines and the retirement of Charles Y. Yerkes
from his holding in this property. Con-
sideration about S2O0OO,0OO Permanent
organization of the Illinois Electric We
hicle company, with capital stock
OF e250OO,OO0 Equipment Of all street
railway rolling stock with electric power to be
furnished by the neT system of automobile
storage. The establishment in Chicago Of q
great factory for the manufacture of automo-
bile vehicles of all descriptions and for all pur-
poses; also the establishment Of n line for these
vehicles for business on the streets of this city.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1899-05-11

The service of the Nickel Plate Road to
New York City and Boston is a demonstrate
ed success. The demands of the travelling
public are met by providing three peerless
fast express trains in each direction daily,
These trains are composed of modern, first.
class day coaches, elegant vestibuled sleep.
ing cars between Chicago, New York and
Boston, and unexcelled dining cars. Solid
through trains between Chicago and New
York have uniformed colored porters in
charge Of day coaches, whose services are
placed at the disposal Of passengers, If you
want to travel comfortably, economically
and safely, see that your ticket is routed via
the Nickel Plate Road.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1899-05-11
President Mckinley Invited to Omaha.

Washington, May 5.-Senator Thurs
ton and Representative Mercer, of Me-
braska, invited the president to at
tend the Greater American exposition
to be held in Omaha from July to No
vember. The grounds and buildings
of the former exposition are to be
utilized and the exhibits will consist of
not only the products of this country,
but of Porto Rico, Hawaii and the
Philippines. The president said that
his answer would probably depend on
whether he makes a trip west this
summer
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1899-05-11
Ono Thing Forgotten.

They were talking Of figures Of
speech.
"Have you ever noticed" said one,
chow fond people are of vegetable met
aphors when they are dealing with a
woman? Her cheeks are roses her
lips are cherry her hands are always
lily white, her mouth is rosebud,
her complexion is like peach, and
her breath is fragrant as honey
suclle.'"
you've forgotten one" said the
cynic.
"What's that?"
"Her tongue. 1t is a scarlet run
ner. STRAY Stories.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1899-05-11
CANNOT TAKE HoMEsTEADs.
Federal Judge Speer, at Savannah, Ga,
Renders an Interesting Decision Re-
garding National bankruptcy Law.

Savannah, Ca, May 5.-Judge Speer,
of the federal district court for the
southern district of Georgia, has made
an important decision under the ma
tional bankruptcy law. 1t is to the eff
feet that the United States courts have
no jurisdiction over homestead taken
by bankrupt; that the homestead be-
longs to the state courts and cannot
be considered in the United States
court as an asset of the bankrupt; and
as regards the homestead the trustee
of the bankrupt must look elsewhere
than to the United States court. The
effect of this decision will be far-reach-
ing and will no doubt be the cause of
many parties going into bankruptcy
who have heretofore held out.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1899-05-11
AUTOGRAPH FIENDs.
Devices to Which They VIII Resort
to Secure the Signature Off
ReignIng Celebrity.

every time we have celebrity with
us" said the chief clerk at one of the lead
ing hotels, Il am certain to be deluged with
autograph albums, They are left by people
who calmly request me to waylay the nota-
Bile and get his or her signature, preceded
if possible by some neat and appropriate
sentiment, verse preferred. 1t would be a
pretty ticklish task if it were not for the
fact that the celebrities themselves are
broken in to that sort of thing and have
ceased to regard it with any surprise. As q
rule, no explanation is necessary and all
have to do is to hand over the little books
The autograph hunters are particularly keen
after theatrical stars, and there is one we'll
known manager who derives a good deal of
amusement in acting as proxy. Last time
he was here he was with an eminent actress
and | had been intrusted with no less than
a dozen autograph albums. | received
specific injunctions from the owner Of each
to get something Characteristic and
turned the bunch over to my managerial
friend. Here's where l make a hit!' he
exclaimed enthusiastically, and, grabbing a
pen, proceeded to inscribe an enigmatical
sentiment of his own manufacture in
every volume. | remember one, which ran
like this: is not the expression of emotion
merely the emotion of expression? Truly
yours, Miss So.and.So. The others were
equally incoherent, but somehow they had
wise sound and the autograph chasers
were perfectly delighted. 80 deep!' 50
thoughtful were the comments they made
as they studied the gibberish after the books
were returned, and am willing to bet they
are still wrestling with the inner meaning
of their prizes. The star herself has the
reputation of being quite a student, and if
she knew of the little joke that was per.
petrated in her name am inclined TO be-
lieye she would get after her manager with
a club. IN. o. Times, Democrat.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1899-05-11

Agent--The Barlows haven't asked for a
cents worth of repairs this spring What do
you think of that?
Landlord-lm not surprised. Barlow got
a house through trade few weeks ago and
is so busy filling the wants of tenant of his
own that he has forgotten about bothering
us.-Chicago Evening News.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1899-05-11
WAS I'M the Wrour Omce.

Agent-Ny dear sir do you know how
much time you lose dipping pen into the
inkY Ten dips a minute means 600 dips an
hour or 5000 dips in ten hours, and each
dip consumes
Business MOn-Yes, l know; have
worked it all out.
,"'And yet / find you still writing in the
old way"
Eyes, am using the fountain pen you sold
me about month ACCUSING il in the old
way because it won't write any other way"
Beg pardon; I'm in the wrong office.
Good.day. Weekly.