The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1899-06-16
YOU CAN'T BEAT 'EM.
THIS WAS Jo1soN's CONCLUSION
ABOUT WOMEN IN GENERAL.

VSSes "SW1NN w SS'>@NN@s
II WAS Prompted Nv a Midnight M
%periencc with His Wife, In Which
h Revenge That He Had Planned
so Well Went sadly Astray.
Mr.. Jobson got home from his office
ut 4:15 one afternoon not long ago and
found a note from Mrs. Jobson saying
that she had gone to hear the perform.
ance Of a long haired pianist and that
he d find his dinner all ready for the
girl to serve II.
"That's a good thing, too" unused
Mr.. Jobson sulkily when he had read
the note. Its a wonder these mattress
headed geniuses that come over here to
this country and rake in American dol
lars, hating Americans all the time,
wouldn't call their game at an hour
that nd permit II to!ling mans wife to
be on hand at hcme to give him some
thing to eat when he wants 1t, etc,
The opportunity was too good for
Mr.. Jobson to miss, so he declined to
eat any dinner when the servant put it
on the table, Instead he slammed on
Als HHV UIu WeAt N1NA tvWA
He wanted to give Mrs, Johson Il les
son, He ate an unsatisfactory dinner at
restaurant and then poked around
until it was time for a variety theuter
to open its doors. He had to watch a
lot of poorly played billiard games in
order to put in this time and to talk
with a lot of bachelors, from whose
ways of thinking he had departed,
He was bored exceedingly by theuter
time. The show bored him still more,
but he stuck 1t out, for no wanted to
get home as late az possible, the better
to rub 1t in on Mrs. Jobson. BY II
o'clock he reflected that he had had a
pretty poor sort of an e%vening-his
evening paper unread, his favorite pipe
neglected for n lot Of cigars that gave
him heartburn, II poor "thiior idle tali
with a slew OF men ;ANl he didn't want
to talk to, and finally a tawdry, cheap
variety performance that might have
got a laugh out of him ten years before,
but was only 10 much ribaldry to him
now. !,
He took in a couple more billiard
games, however, after the show and
threw a couple Of cocktails into him.
self, not because no cared TO drink, but
because he wanted Mrs, Jobson to smell
his breath and thus perceive the awful
consequences of her conduct.
Mrs. Johson was comfortably tucked
in bed when Mr., Jobson got home
about half I'm hour after midnight, She
had not even left Il light burning in
the vestibule or IN the bedroom, She
woke up very leisurely when Mr.. Job.
son started one Of the gas jets going
She didn't any anything, however.
Mr.. Jobson had expected to find her
mp, fully dressed and In tears. He was
disappointed. He was more disappoint'
cd that she didn't greet him with TO-
pinings, Mr., Jobson saw that she was
likely to go to sleep again and that he
wasn't causing any grief at all by be-
ing naughty and keeping still, So he
cleared his throat and said
Ibid he play the buck dance concerto
In z minor with his hair, and how was
IT."
There was Il lot Of sarcasm In tho
way Mr.. Jobson asked this question.
Mrs. Jobson didn't turn over at all.
"What aye you talking abouts' she
inquired sleepily.
II want to know II that Dutehman
that kept you away from your duty of
serving u meal to your husband after
his day Of grinding labor gave you your
moneys worth also II you think you re
making any kind Of a hit with any body
by these methods, heyY"
'Oh, the recital; that's what you re
speaking of, isn't it9" said Mrs, Jobson
sweetly. swell, didn't 30. | had In
tended to go when ! started ont shop
ping in the morning and left the note
for you telling you 30, but | thought II
might annoy you to have me away
from dinner, and NO. when ! concluded
my shopping, about 4 o'clock this after
noon, l decided not to go to the recital
The Fourteenth street car that brought
me up town passed the car that took
you down town, | saw you on the car
and wondered why you were going In
that direction. | suppose you had to 90
back to your Office to work. It's shame
full the way they're overworking you,
you poor old thing, and then Mrs
Jobson, who knew that Mr., Jobsoh
hadn't been working at his office, turned
over and subsidized into dreamy slumber
"You can't beat en-, thought Mr.
Jobson when no got into bed. He was
thinking OF women IN general. Wash
ington Star
Her Turn.