Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1899-05-04
WARS GRIM HUMOR,
scenes and Incidents in the PhiIip-
pines Happily Described.

pines Happily Described.
Sergeant King in the Minneapolis Messenger
war at best is hell. After the thin veil of
Slanlor, frenzy and glory is drawn aside
there is nothing left save bleaching skele-
tons and the desolate homes. In battle
there is the screech of shells and the duh
report of their explosion, the thunder Of
held pieces, sending pounds of solid steel
toward an enemy; thers is the rattle of
small arms, like the roll OF distant drums
the binding smoke, the singing of Mausers
and the hum of Remingtons; there is the
chatter of affrighted monkeys, the scoid-
ifss OF parrots, the bowls of sinking ours
and then. in the wake Of the victors arise
the smoke and flame of burning huts Add
10 this pandemonium the hoarse yelIs of
the combatants, the cries Of homeless Wo-
men ana children, the groans of the wound
ed' the set fac IS of the dead, and one may
have faint conception of a small engage
ment in trOpic land
during the first enga cement while the
company was firing at will into the woods
ahedd' forlorn water buffalo, the national
DeaSt OF burden, meandered into The rice
iLeto directly In front Of the line. The writer
immediately directed his fire toward the buff
iaio with no apparent result. Afterward
uuilhg lull in the firing, We shamefuIly
messed to having wasted our strength in
inns ignople manner, and We're surprised to
ieain that every man had done likewise
AT all events, the beast made good its es
cape, Tor 1T patiently plodded ahead until
the nmber swallowed it up
During the charge at Caloocan a frenzied
pig Oh dlm}nutive size dashed from beneath
d pdlnpoo nut, and, apparently, judging
ttat an the commotion was for his benefit
thougnt best to retire. AS the pig dashed
past the writer we gently assisted with
shoVe from the butt of our gun and thought
no more of it for some time. Afterwsrd
upon gianclng to the rear, We four or
HNe soldiers in hot Of ba
poor niue swine. 1t is laughabie, even in
tlines OF peace, to watch another man
chase a hog. but when men forsake their
PAGES, forget the roar of conflict, the hum
OF bullets the shouts of the victors and
the walls of the wounded, to grappIe with
an elght-pound shoat, the scene becomes
numerous in the extreme. We took the
trouble to learn that the pig got away
At night the natives take great delight in
holding love feastS.' and the sound of reveI-
ry is very distinct. The Filipinos are nat
tains us with such fumes After the
Ball" Hot Time Stand Up for Jesus"
The Star spangied Tanner" and Throw
Out the Lifelneb- Iteis a mystery where
and when they learned these American
melodies, but the face remains that they
do know them and render the same with
remarkable accunacS.n! The Filipino has
great contempt for sthe Chinaman as a
hghter, hence favorite yell OF the insur-
gents is: "Amerfcan6 Chino agualr'
american and Chisaraan equaD. This sally
s1A" dy oiiiiSS lpLEu lHc Iitttl ticSl dppiduSe
from listening rsbels. We were much
amused last night bysone, Ready! Aim!
Fire"' cried he, and laughed loudly at his
own wit. A few nights since, one of our
bugers played staps,' and Immediately
some natives began the "reveille.' tntimat-
ing that no sooner would we be in bed than
we must, of necessity, arise.
A most distressing accident befell boat
load of Igorrotes not long since. 1t was
In this wise: The monitor Monadnock lies
just off Malabon. and at night lights up the
whole country with, its searchlight. The
wild men did not. exactly admire this
method of competing with the sun, SO be-
thought themselves of plan to capture
the floating fort. Accordingly a large row.
boat was procured and speedily filled with
an aggregation of these patriots. Having
approached within a hundred yards, the
harbarians discharged a volley of steel
tipped arrows and waited. patiently in the
hope of seeing the ship sink. The Monad-
mock discharged a three-inch gun in return.
So far, three arms, two wisdom teeth, parts
of four legs and piece of wood have been
recovered 1t is feared that some of the
natives were killed.
At Caloocan the rebels had mounted two
monstrous Misunderstanding guns captured in
former times from the Spanish. They at
tempted to fire one, of these, with direfuI
results. The Americans collected the re-