Kansas City journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1897-1928, 1899-03-03
S%%S<$:SSHS% ~S~$:-$:~s~S3:
SHORT STORY
OF THE DAY
THE MIRACLE OF THE COW.

~:-.-s:-~:S:.:-:..'
" THE MIRACLE OF THE cow.
). E.-c.s,'e,. N thc Wave.
w Esis Tho matter with old Asunci.
Tom asked crookrd-Neckcd Jim. he
seems terribly down on you. SAYS he's So
sag ~ an" al yonr family Tor planting
Iaro On SGnaay.
ASGnga vs. Shr native magistrate. who
~ss supposed - ,Nrrr.st police jurisdiction
, over "a" whole ~ the r'itle isle. In reality
' D. Sid 1othtuG OF Tire KIND. Hg; sal iu lbs
home siuok 80 sl,us a,.i ariuA,ur kava an
thc LAY luuc. Now ard 'h~u he Would
inaho Ei"wiaE fyp'r; 10 the kin; ~
peace ans prosperity which prevailed IN
his dominion. AID iherr. 1 suppose. lie con-
sldo;cd his dury '53a,-!.
~.isgrsa lc bowed replied Blind Ton:
us al about INA; cow Joke / played on
on h.m a ocisrl" ~ years aro. tt's been
t'N7nE - So ri me ever Slice.
oh, the low replied Jim, rIuCk!tns and
with tn.t ;he Two burst no roars OF
Tom Rad gone blind Through drinking too
maeh green ka'a white Jim who Rad
neck a permanent TWIST by incauttpu~iy
falling down a haichway. Hence his nick
name.
FOR enlightenment. ny Ell. KS an old Story
hereslOstS. hut seeing that you re Il s.ran-
G.r / don't mimi telling You about il.
IL Was IL this way About ii couple
q! years ago old AsunIs. he's the niaSIs-
f:a;e Tor The island. You know. got very
nasty toward me because one OF my young
men had run away WIKI n Giri. from MS
family. Ii wasn't my fault. because |
had nothing To do with the young peoples
love affairs. but stili Asungs blamed me.
lie waited for his chance. and on. Gay
because some Of my PIGS Got in;c ne mis-
e.onar. : tRro ratcn; mace me pay a heaNE
fine. l Was not 20 blame. because the stone
OF repair. bat still | had to pay the fne,
or else lose all the trade of the village.
,sasc was T my m rIss mary had 49, a COW and NJ
one day that cow took 4 stroll rounc 10
:. my back vcrarda and made a good. suit
He:antial meal off a bunch of bananas and
- basket OF yans which had just been
y II found Asunga sitting in his house hold
arg the usual fono. ..AsunGa.' 7 said, SOME
enc has entered my grounds and stolen Il
bunch OF t4ananas and A basket of yaIns
from my back ~veranda.'
Wei who is the offender asked Asun-
THE thief / replied. was Moo, the
nissionary's cow. She came into my gar
Gen and did sa worth of damage. besides
eating the bananas and yams.'
'Tala. the missionary. WAS a great friend
OF AsunGa's, and | knew that he would
never have granted "a warrant against his
friend. SO ] put IL on the COW.
Moo may be guilty he said. but how
can a COW be aI:sstnd: she cannot speak
Eor give evidence on her behalf?
II had my answer ready for him. Is II
Tot recorded in The Scripture ! said. tina,
Falaams ass spoke. and are we TO dlsoe-
lieve the Bible?'
so at last .Asunga reluctantly gave or
ders for the arrest of Moo on "a charge of
petty larceny. and the hearing Of the case
was fixed for the next morning.
That night Moo was taken in charge by
the one native policeman. and in default
OF a Lookup FOR ouacrupeds: WAS moored 10
one of the side posts of Asunea's housa.
u She reveng.d herself and provided "ccupa-
for the midnight hours by eating half
Nhe thatch OFF AsunSa's roof. "A circum-
stance which did not improve his tgmnar
when the court opened next morning.
The trial was held in Asunsa house.
which did duty as a courtroom when oc-
oasion required. The great round beehive
shaped structure WAS crowded with curious
natives. and amidst them Taia. who. in do
nance of all The laws of justice. WAS doing
his best TO convince The natives that The
miracle OF Baiaam's ass Was effected only
by direct Divine interposiion, and that a
repetition of IL could not be expected in
these latter days.
Natives. however. find 1t hard TO under
stand abstruse points like inesr. and they
insisted OF the cow being brought up for
.rial. fully believing. that she would declare
her own innocence"
And what WAS her evidence:" / asked.
"Ah. that's where Jim comes in. You 20
Oh, Jim, and finish the story"
"Oh, ii was all easy enough" said Jim.
twisting his head round so that le looked
right over his left shoulder. You sec, I
was a hit o: ventriloquist In my youth. and
of the other things 1 learned at school.
And then ! think the shape OF my neck
gives me AN advantage.
Well. the COW WAS brought up TO the
side of The house and Asurga makes "A
long speech 10 her, though, being busy with
The thatCh over her head, she doesn't take
notice very much. l took care TO scat my
self on the righthand side of the prisoner.
so that the twist OF my neck would give
me an advantage in throwing my voice in
her direction.
AT last. after talking for about half an
hour, Asunsa wound IN: Moo. you are
charged with knowingly eating IA bunch of
bananas and a basket of vans belonging
TO Blind Tom What Is your auswer-are
you guilty or not guilty"
I Just thcn ii dawned upon Moo that
I something peculiar WAS going on. and she
hor head 3ud gave II plailtivc hol-
pw. IL WAS the very opportunity | wanted,
30. throwing my voice well over in her
direction. 1 added: i did cat the bananas
and vans, oh. Ali Asunra. hut truly il
MS because Tala, my master. had given
ane no grass that day. and I knew not-how
20 produce milk for the morrow
NOu never SAW anyone "a aStoniahed as
Tain, he felt his reputation for dortrinal
knowledge tott.ring. aud he FASTENED 10
come in out of the wet.
"A miracle. a miracle" he exclaimed.
The Lord is with us-Moo spcaks,'
"AsunSa. though 10 Tala'S dis
sast. FASTENED 10 take The same view of IN.
matter. He was mot going 10 let Tala have
all the fame of this wonderful miracle. III
II certain he said. that Moo has confessed
her gull. hut ais" she has shown that
thou. Tala. art TO blame
"Tala protested in vain against any com
plicitN in Noes sins.
he COW, said ASunSa, delivering his
judgment. las confessed. and thou hast
admitted that ii Is indeed n miracle. II *
Lord. Moo l. tined twenty baskets Of taro.
snd thon. her master. having kept her
hungry. must pay the fine for her."