West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1899-12-07
MT. BIOONlSedge Re|QIeS
His Experience With A PeStiferOuS
Book Agent.
Wherein His Love of Truth and Ac.
curacy Shines Forth Like Jack
OIantern on n Cloudy Night.

find some thoughtless people in
innate that what Mr.. Yroomsedge has
TO say will not hold water. | wish
they could see the prizes l took when I
was boy, only knee high TO grass
hopper, and known as truthful Zeph"
all the way from Squash Hollow TO
Parsnip Corner. / would like to show
these prizes, but they got mislaid
accidentally.
The other daY "A tall. Matched faced.
lantern javed, tallow candle complex
toned man, with "a short black beard,
came into the yard where was skim
ming an apple. Said he: Mr. Broom
sedge, | want To show you this History
OF the World l am taking orders for
want your name and influence. You
have been recommended TO me as n
very truthful citizen, and you shall
have a set for only S25"
Said / "Tm glad TO meet you We
heard of you eyer since you went into
this business. The papers have had
columns about you You can sell a
set TO every person in town; and every
person will get sold that You sell to
Why, even the kids around town have
been weeping so many tears in their
impatience to see that book, that when
the telephone announced you we're
coming, their mamas formed i'm line.
went to the stores, bought OF all the
muslin, and tore it into extra hand.
kerchiefs for their use -
Il
II has happened lots of times but |
need your influence here Even
then" said 1, chow can you afford to
let me have it for only s25? 1t ought
20 be twice as much. There's no book
TO compare with yours In it's fine pic
lures and general workmanship. 1t
would hardly be a sin To put your his
tory on one OF these telephone poles
and then fall down and worship it"
81 know it, replied the agent, but
I'm not in the business for money,
only for my health aud TO see the
country"
Look here" said l, has it chap
ter on Buckwbeat county and King
wood, and has it biographical sketch
Of Zephaniah Broomsedge and his
achievements in the art of truth ell
ing p"
Yes sir was the triumphant re-
sponse. we can suit you right ther
10 r. Our house has just made ar.
rangenenLs with Deacon Brown and
Elder Whetsell TO supply that chapter.
and it will be in the forth coming
edition"
Well" said /, II shall have to get
the consent Of my second cousins
wife's step-father. Come to this spot
at 1865 p. III sharp
1 sawed him Off that time and got
| away. and / didn't tell him I would be
! there at 1865, or any other time. A
little after o'clock he caught me on
the street. and began to explain the
| patent coonskin binding Of the history.
] told him ] hadn't found my second
! cousins wife step father yet, and got
rid Of him once more.
went out OF town and hid i'm a coal
bank. But tho agent got the loan Of
some old clothes. 70 lantern. "a dozen
dogs TO track me, and boy TO guide
him saw them coming and slipped
back to town, got my best friend TO
hire every ladder in the place and
then got into the tower Of the court
house
The agent saw me there, and sent to
the hotel for his "trip lie fshed some
thing out OF it which looked somewhat
like an empty pillow case except in
color. When he put IL TO his mouth +
saw ] was up and that he would soon
be mp. IL was an empty balloon. and
as he hadn't made one OF his set
speeches during the last fifteen min
utes, there was enough wind in him TO
expand the balloon TO diameter Of
hfteen feet. Then he came up. un-
folded his prospectus showed me 500
pictures in FIVE minutes, said he was
bound 10 have my name, and If
wouldn say nothing Co nobody be
would throw Oft s241j and take the
rest IN writing mp for him the new
version Of George Washington and the
cherry tree.
gave in, stipulating that the letter
should riist appear in THE ARGUS. and
what was eft of me went home
ZGPHANIAH BROOMsEBGE.