The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1899-01-21

Let 1t be your chief object to please your
husband, and count nothing too much
trouble to this end, says the Rochester
Union and Advertiser" 1t seems almost
an insult to urge neatness of person upon
any s-elf-respecting woman, yet there are
many wives who come short of this re-
spect, who fall into the grievous error of
thinking tina John doesn't matter John
does matter much more than any one else,
and it is many times more important that
you should look well in his eyes than in
those of all the rest of the world. The
task of keeping a husband is to the full as
difficult as the winning of him, and is far
more necessary. Besides, your sense OF
justice should nave something to say on
the subject; the man who, having wooed
and won a pretty, dainty maiden, finds
himself married to a slattern is swindled;
nor can he be reasonably blamed If he
fails to retain his devotion to the fraud
whom he has espoused. Dress should al
ways be suited to the circumstances of
the wearer and the occasion on which it is
worn; the wife who m us act as cook and
house girl should not be expected to dress
like the sweetheart entertaining John In
the parlor; but neatness of person IS to
the full as incumbent upon the one as the
other. 1t is just as easy to be tidy in
calico as in silk.
Make up your mind that if you can ac-
complish it at any cost to yourself, your
husbands relations shall like you, and
if this prove impossible, that they shall be
forced to acknowledge hat you make
John a good wife. If you do not like
them, it need make no. very great differ
! apoo IN INV Inf vol1rSa1f prnViGa0-
always, that you have the good sense to
keep your own counsel about it; it is of
vital Importance to all concerned that they
shall like you.
Keep a man comfortable and feed him
WELL" once said a shrewd old lady to the
writer, "and you keep him in a good
humor.' No woman can justly claim to
be a good wife who does not look out for
the physical comfort of her husband in
every possible way who does not see to
it, personally, that he is properly fed, that
his clothes are kept in order and that his
tastes are consulted in small as in great
things.
Let home be a haven of rest and peace
after the days toll, and never worry your
husband with the little a~nnoyances OF
housekeeping, unless you really need his
advice. Then wait patiently for a conven-
lent season, after he has had his dinner,
when you may nave a quiet talk together.
If the matter be aught short of sudden
illness or fire it will keep, and when the
outer man is refreshed and rested, YOU
will find that the inner man viii have full
Ter stores of sympathy to bestow upon
you. Happy is the woman whose husband
is truly her better half; who, when he
comes, always brings the sunshine with
him; whom cat, dog and children all has
ten to meet. Such a>man is worth living
and working for. But what man can al
ways bring sunshine when he is sure Of
clouds at home? Fight against crossness
and try to keep control of your temper.
however sorely tried it may be. gThere
are women who would unhesitatingly sac
rifiee their lives for their husbands and
children who none the less make, those
dear ones miserable by perpetual fault
finding, the continual dropping of water
which wears away the hardest stone.
Do not be jealous of you husbands
friends, nor try to wean him from them.
unless, indeed, they be evil. On the con-
trary, help him not only to keep the old.
but to make new ones. He may need
them all some day, for your sake as well
as for his own. Besides, you place i'll his
heart is so very different from theirs that
you should not for one moment think of
them in comparison with yourself.
Do not expect John to be perfect; no
one is; remember that you yourself are
short of the ideal. But whatever mis-
faults may be, go forth to meet them clad
in the armor of love and silent patience,
and above all, never censure him to an
other, no matter how near and dear TO
you that other may be. If his failings are
such as you can hide from the eyes of the
world with the mantle of wifely affection,
do so; the pain they cause you will be
easier to bear if you ask help and sym
pathy only from the Great CONSIDER.
"How did you manage to gain such i'm
plicit confidence from your children?"
was asked of one mother whose boys
and igrls seemed to feel no joy COM
and girls seemed to feel no joy COM
sorrow comfortless if it could be confded
to her ear, says a writer in ''The House
hold"
II took care never to- lose it, was the
reply. mo matter how small, how APP
parently Insignificant the matter that in
tereSteQ Inem, II WIS diSO y L HioiiSiil I "
me. And because in all their childhood
they never felt a lack of my sympathy
so there was never any time when ]
had to work to gain their confidence.
81 was careful not to abruptly break
+ unon their impulsive outbursts of con-
fidential communications with such dis
courteous remarks as, How did you tear
your dress?' or Go back and wipe your
shoes.
IT would first listen and after giving
due and heartfelt expression to my in
terest. I might then call attention to the
less important matters of torn dress or
soiled shoes, and, if possible, see to it
that they themselves repaired all dam
ages made by their thoughtlessness.
-~sMy daughters are obedient and low
ing said one mother, "but they never
tell me anything" x
If that is true, then dear mother, there
was a time in their lives when you failed
to listen sympathetically. Perhaps you
listened not as a companion, but as a
wise, superior, moral teacher, and their
condolences were texts for sermons which
they did not enjoy.
If we are to be companions of our
children are we, then, never to correct
their faults? 1t seems as if that would
be an unwise companionship.
If we would only use as much tact and