The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-01-26

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Don Carlos, the Spanish pretender, is
still employed making preparations
for an uprising. The reporters engaged
in his service are all working nobly.
An editor out west has gone crazy,
the result of undue excitement on re-
ceiving thirteen dollars from delinquent
subscribers who ordered their paper
stopped several years ago. Such Incl
dents as these would bust the kettle of
even an old experienced newspaper
man.
"The noble horse is doomed" says an
exchange. He wouldn't think so if he
visited gambling joint where they
shake dice.
We used to believe that there was
honor among thieves, but since Con.
gresham Clark was held up, we think
otherwise.
A liveryman who was running an
ad in the paper, demanded that it be
stopped, because he thought people
didn't read it. The editor tried to con-
vince him to the contrary, but he was
as obstinate as a Spaniard. Finally the
editor made proposition, wherein he
said that if he changed signle letter
in the heading and it wasn't comment.
ed upon he was willing to run the ad
free. The liveryman accepted the offer
and the editor changed the heading
from livery stable to "Lively Stable.
Before the week was up half the men
in town were joking about it and want
ed to know if it was the barn or horses
that were lively. The add remains.
That law which compels barber to
take out a license, is not strictly en-
forced. We have several here who
haven't passed an examination, and
they are doing "good" business. This
motion has been seconded and carried
by two-thirds majority. We await
results with breathless anxiety.
Omaha was considerably shaken up
the other day. The police arrested two
alleged mediums and a whole wagon
load of spooks, false boards and make
up articles. They were making a mint
of money and experienced no difficulty
whatever in calling up the desired spir-
its. If they had "blind pig" attach
ment the fraud wouldn't have been
quite so "glaring."
| One of the walters in the second
grade dining room went to sleep while
at his post. He got good boiling over
by the head waiter for staying out late
at night.
The young and beautiful Miss Cow
who recently married Mr.. Grass, was,
no doubt, prompted by avaricious mo-
tives.
The other day there passed through
our Office one OF the most beautiful
looking woman we have seen for some
time. When she cast her magnetic
luminaries toward our direction, we
felt as though the gods were visible.
But when she looked over at the bald
headed editor, she had chunk of ice
in each eye. Selah.
A crank was arrested in Chicago
who admitted that his occupation was
that of taking census of fools. When
pinched he was boarding train for
Washington.
Lexington, KY, has man that will
soon be known in sporting circles as
"Cyclone john" In a recent head end
collision with a freight train, he didn't
even lose his wind, although he burnt
fifty foot hole in the air.
Americans are still importing Egyp-
tian mummies at a high figure. This
is strange when our prisons are full of
them.
| A man by the name of Late has just
taken unto himself life partner by
the name of Club. When this gentle
man remains from home late in the
evening, it wont do to say that he was
delayed at the club.