The Norfolk weekly news., 1899-12-07
BuRo Nv 1NFERNAsHUN,
WASHINGTON, ID. g.

BURO Nv lNFERnASHUN,
WASHINGTON, ID. g.
Tu the Editur:
This Buro hez bin clozed fer reparcs
tn our lasscratid feclns, and we hev bin
putin ourselves intu mournn, and set
tin in sackcloth and rubbin our nozcs
In the ashes, on account Nv the Novem-
Der elecshuns. We hcv on hand lot
NV red fire thet warn't burnt i'm joobi-
latin, and n big stock Nv political pre-
dicshuns thct hcv bin discredited hi
the elecshun returns. All hands hev
bin so sick thet we lockt the doors NV
the establishment and kept out NV site
like fashionable people du in the sum
mer time wen tha hain't got munney
cnuff to pa their bill fer jamborce at
the scashore. wuz so ovcrcum with
Disappointment thct hired a nigger tn
tell all callers thct | wuz out NV town,
and then went tn bed, WHARF l hev bin
resdin most NV the time sence Novem-
Der Z and bcin nurrished bi sich doses
NV applcjack ez l Good hold without
bein forwarded tn sum Keeley cure in
stitoot fer treatment. All this room
and devastashun hez bin brot about bi
the voters hoo hev failed tn cum up tn
Dimicratic expectashuns, and hoo hev
gon rite along in their hedlong haste
votin fer Republikinism and prosperity
wen we Civ them the opportoonity tn
git Dimocricy and kalamity.
The Dimicratic members Nv kongress
air ez tender ez bile on yure noZe, fer
tina interpret the elecshuns tn mean thet
their services kin be dispensed with
ut leest n good menny Nv EN- du-and
tina can't see nothin but defect and dis
astcr ahed Nv EN- in 1900.
At the earliest opportoonity, or ez
soon ez it liz safe tn du so, l shall git
the Dimicratic big wigs tugether and
| take new account Nv stock, and see IL
we hev ennything left thet amt tn
mutch shopworn hi use in the late
kampane tn start in bizness agin.
am free tn sa, at present thet l don't
kno whut it IL. but perhaps we kin
pick over the fragments Nv deceased
| issoos and find enuff left tn make one
moar bluff. We tried pretty mutch all
| we Ipu Ill ullleltuI StdllS, tIlC lC-
suits air about the same. In Ohio we
put free silver in frunt, and Mclean
wuz outrageously licked. In Iowa we
tried tn dodge, and we got licked still
wuss. In Kentucky Mr.. Gobble wuz
detected after countin out all the votes
he thOt it wuZ safe tn, and after the
holesale intimidashun and shootin Nv
niggers and Republicans. In mi own
beluved stait Nv Moo Gersey, severil
thousan Dimicrats cum up missn, and
the gamblin and boss racin STATESMEN
hoo we depended upon fer effectiy
wurk hev failed tn keep the Repub-
likins frum copperin the commonwealth.
In Maryland we won a great victory
in consequence Nv the Republicans
fitein amung themselves, and we hope
tn make it permanent by disfranchisin
the niger. Thet liz our strong holt
everywhere. If we kin only prevent
enuff people frum votin we air sure tn
win. If we kin du 1t bi the gentle
methods Nv stump speekin and cussin
it pleeses sum people better, but shoot
in niggers and elecshun officers IL moar
effectiv in the southern and border
stats.
In Nebraska Mr.. Bryan's fusion
ticket landed on solid ground with both
feet down, but l find crate divishun
Nv opinyun here ez tn wether we ort
tn mark 1t down eZ victory or de-
feet. Ez personal victory fer Mr..
Bryan, hoo IL not afflickted bi bein
tongue tied, he hez a rite tu thro up
hiz hat and jump a ten rail fence; but
the gold bug Dimicrats all over the
kountry air awfully riled up and tina
air thretenin moar mischief than ever
before If Mr.. Bryan IL renominated fer
president. found one SO mad he
woodn't take a drink with me. Now
whut hope Nv success kin we hev wen
Dimicrat IL so demoralized ez thet?
, In Massachusetts wuZ WHARF we he'd
tn swaller the bitterest pill. 1t wu2
thare WHARF the Fillipeeno insurgents
Nv the Republican party he'd whooped
er up and made us believe tina wuz tr
du wunders and wurk miracles. II
wuz thare WHARF Edward Atkinson he'd
fired off hiz noozepaper ammunishur
, and advertized hiz lunch pals and
cookin outfit. 1t wuz thare thet
made two trips tn ferment Republican
discord and assist in revoloOshuniziI
, the stait, 1t wuz thare, In the land u,
John Hancock and John l.. Sullivan
thet ministers and old maids resolooteC
in favur Nv Aguinaldo and sot him VI
ez bigger man than Sam Adams ant
Tomas Jefferson. With sich infooence'
: in our favur we he'd bin led tn beleev'
thet Massachusetts, Nv all uther stats
, wood rebuke the president hoo WI;
hatchin out enuff "imperialism" tn bus
. up the whole outfit wich George Wash
ington he'd left us in hiz will. We het
rite tn expect sich a bilein over "
Q patriotism in Massachusetts ez Woo
$ overflow and deluge McKinleyism II
s the crate Republican stronghold u
n Moo England. We he'd sent out order
n tn leedn Dimicrats all over the koun
. try, tn prepare fer sootable recog
nishun Nv the crate event wich wuz t
make the telegram wires hot with Dim
q icratic reioicins Thare WIZ TN he re,