davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1899-04-01
Turtle Scares a Family.
From the Baltimore Sun.

From the Baltimore Sun.
A pet turtle belonging to a youthful men,
ber of family on Calvert street, near Lam
vale. was the innocent cause of an excit-
ing episode last Thursday evening 1t was
just at dusk, and the only members of the
family at home were the boy to whom the
turtle belonged, his older sister and the
cook.
The family next door had Lieut. Silas D.
Smith Of Company d. 1st Maryland Regi-
ment, as visitor, and were listening 10
his stories of camp life. Suddenly they
Were startled by screams and loud bang
ing ON the gate. Lieut.. Smith and those in
the house with him rushed out to investi-
gate. They encountered the young lady
from next door. who told them that a bur-
glar was in the house. 1t only took a few
minutes for Lieut.. Smith and his friends
to arm themselves and pest guards at the
front and rear doors, while one of their
number ran upstairs to drive the burglar
out.
While the search for the supposed burglar
was In progress the innocent cause of the
alarm was discovered. The turtle, 1t was
ascertained, was on the second floor, and
had started ON a tour of investigation In
his rambles he came to the stairway and
not being built for descending stairs, he
started down precipitately. As he bumped
from one step to another the noise he made
caused the inmates to suppose that some
one was coming after them with heavy
tread. Then they ran out and Lieut. Smith
gallantly led the charge for their rescue.
Evening star., 1899-04-01
Her Advice.

Charley, dearr exclaimed young Mrs.
Torkins.
He had been for some time apprehensive
that the opening of the base ball season
would attract her attention and lead her
to conversational perplexities. He looked
at her uneasily, but said nothing.
Charley, dear" sne repeated. There
is a prospect of real interesting time
pretty soon, isn't there?"
II don't know he answered. ''I haven't
read anything in the papers except politics
for the last six weeks"
why, it's politics I'm talking about" :"
she rejoined, with sweet assurance. Men
are SO foohshr
Are they?"
Yes They are all worried to death
about a little Jefferson dinner party. They
are making more fuss over it than if it
were pink tea
This is very different affair from a
pink tea," he observed, a little sternly.
"Of course, it is,'' she answered; "and
that is why I say men are so foolish. They
are going to make each guest pay for
what he eats, and in order to get customers
they cut the prices all the way from SO
down to ST.
well, that was done so as to give them
a bargain said her husband, facetiously.
Yes. But there wasn't any use of their
sacrificing all that money. OF course, an
experienced shopper like me understands
about these tricks, but great many peo-
pie don't All that would have been nee
essary was to reduce the price of the dim
ner to 1899. Anything with 90 cents to it
always looks like such bargain
Evening star., 1899-04-01
yENIS8N GOT AWAY.
Race on the Erie Between a Deer and
Freight Train
From the Chicago Inter-ocean.

From the Chicago hter-Ocean.
The train crew of Erie. fast freight No.
90 enjoyed a deer chase last Tuesday after
noon while the train was bowling along at
thirty-three miles an hour between Lacka-
waxen and King Fishers cut on the Della
ware division. The engineer was Otto
Schwartz and Jack Hoar was the conduct
or. As the deer bounded,out from behind a
red sandstone rock on one side of the road
bed to the track, fifty yards in front Of
the engine, the engineer called out:
There goes splendid buck. and we're
in for fine race"
Yes" said the fireman. land he's a
beauty-a four-pronged fellow"
The engineer pulled the throttle out an
other notch and the massive Mother Hub
bard" lunged forward at increased speed.
The excitement was intense. The deer was
straining every muscle on one side. The
steep slope down to the Delaware river af-
forded the animal no opportunity to escape
without jumping to sure death, and the al
most perpendicular walls of the mountain
on the opposite side shut of escape there.
1t was a race for life on one side and for
venison steaks on the other.
Patsy Debron, the head breakman, who
had crawled out on the pilot of the engine
with about fifty feet Of old bell rope, sig
nailed the engineer to go faster. and
shouted:
twenty-five feet more and I'll lasso the
critter,'
In the meantime the increased speed OF
the train had brought out Conductor Hoar
and the train crew from the caboose. and
a sharp curve showed them the deer
"Hurrah for venison steakst' they cried.
He can't escape! He's gettin' played OUT"
But just as Debron was about to throw
his lasso and at the moment the engineer
thought his iron horse would strike the
deer an open spot came to view, into
which the animal escaped, barely missing
the rush of the train.
Patsy" said the engineer. 'ff you had
had little salt you'd a-done better. A bit
of it on the deer's tail would have settled
it"
"I'Il be dinged If ever | saw beast run
like that" replied Patsy.
The race had lasted for two and a quarter
miles and is the second one of the kind
within a year. The other occurred last
summer on the Hawley branch of the Erie,
between a passenger train and a deer, and
was run of a mile and a half
Evening star., 1899-04-01

grown grass showed whore Il had lain for
some time before il fell into the grasp OF
the casual uttitarian. The loIterer almost
ran over a man with a shiny cut-away
style
What are you blocking up the sidewalk
icrE asked the young man irritabIy
Il beg your pardon answered. the sae3,,
citizen. And, noting that the other was
disposed to iinger. he added. Il am very
sorry TO have been the means OF OBTAINING
you III you are in a hurry
Il m In no hurry" was the answer II
don't have to hurry
An; you are to be envied Nothing TO
do but enjoy life Wen! well,'
ike 10 know what YOU mean bv en-
goying ife returned the other SnaDpishIy
made another effort that way last night:
but 1t was the same old failure. Eve been
around and seen IT all There isn't anv
more novelty in the routine of eNfster,ce for
me. ne ! IN now a philosopher. And see the
emptiness and shaIlowness and idleness 81
things and don't try to delude myself into
the idea that ! am having a good time"
We'll! Weli"' repeated the other In a
tone OF amazement. Seen everything,
And here j am nearly twice as old and
only getting started I've been trying for
ten minutes TO tear myself away from this
place"
Il don't see much here that's attractive
Don't You! Why, man, you're missing
something-only, / suppose it's an old story
to you. You've seen 1t over and over
again.
What are you talking about?"
That slope over there where the sign
board used TO be. See how dull and rank
the grass seems all around. where II has
been growing unhindered and having It's
own way; hut that square patch which
was covered so long Is fairly Laughing with
color. 1t is oyerfiowing with vitality and
re1oices in its new-found freedom. IL treas
ures the sunshine which is lavished else
where unappreciated and reflects ii back
even when the sky is overcast i'm a riot of
radiant untings. IL disdains to be COM
monplace, like its surroundings. absorbing
the light and sapping the soil, simply TO
develop the same old monotony. II refnes
itself into all the delicate shadings of which
green is capable, and puts the neighbortng
sod to shame by the reminder of what IL
might have been If IT hadn't been in
position to take life too easy"
Il hadn't noticed that spot of color be-
fore said the young man, but I must
say it's right pretty"
Hadn't noticed II before? Why. It's the
most conspicuous and attractive thing on
the street. And you came so near missing
it, Well! Well!''
Evening star., 1899-04-01
The Extent of His SOIicitude.

1t was one of the oldest streets in one Of
the country's Oldest cities. The friend from
the west had been looking at the hotel
which was affording shelter to an endless
army of people. The owner of the building
watched them come and go without caring
whence or whittier, so long as they paid
their bills, thereby enabling the landlord
to keep up his rent.
That's fine place. remarked the friend
from the west.
Yes. I'm lucky to have it,"
''Of course it isn't SO very modern in ap-
pearance."
''Oh. no; but it pays first-class interest
on the investment"
Evening star., 1899-04-01
To Sign His Name 6,ooo Times

From the Baltimore Sun.
Postmaster S Davies Warfield, president
of the Continental Trust Company, is con-
frcnted with the huge task OF signing his
name 5000 times. This duty arises from
the fact that the Continental Trust Com
pany is trustee fer the big mortgage OF
s3S, 100000 executed by the United Railways
and Electric Company. II all of these
bonds were to be issued now, Mr.. Warfield
would have to sign his name 10000 times,
but as s20000,000 is to bs kept in reserve,
he will not be called upon for such a tre-
mendous task. Each bond is for $1,000
and $1,000 to be issued at once.
The 5000 signatures with which he is
now wrestling are required because certif-
Gates are now being issued for each bond,
and when the bonds are engraved these
will be exchanged for the bond itself. This
necessitates two signatures for each bond,
one in signing the certificate and the other
to the bond itself when issued.
1t Is calculated that IL Mr.. Warfield could
keep up a speed Of eight signatures a
minute, he could affiX his autograph $4,000
times In seventy-five hours; and taking
frcm his other duties four hours day for
this purpose there would pass eighteen
days and three hours before the job Ia
finished.
Evening star., 1899-04-01
IN THIS GLORIOUS COUNTRY.
An Incident in the Campaign of q
Representative.

Representative.
This is great and glorious country Of
ours" remarked a newly elected represen-
tative from southern state, "and the more
l see of it the more am impressed by its
greatness and its glory. AS an example Of
what some Of its people are like let me
give you an experience of mine while was
hustling for the responsibilities of state
which I win be called upon to assume at
the next session of the House of Represen-
tatives. had not lost one day when I was
far up in the back tier of mountain coun-
ties, and my only roadway had petered out
into pig-path leading down off a hill to a
log cabin in the valley. Reaching the
house l found long, lank, saffron-skinned
woman hanging clothes out in the yard in
front, and L forthwith approached her on
the subject of information as to my loca-
ton and how the deuce / was going to
change it to something with which I was
more familiar. She set me right as to two
or three miles of the way, whence 1 could
find somebody who would send me further
on, and then she began to ask me a ques-
tion or two as to myself. ] told her was
married and where 1 lived and a few other
ineonsiderable trifes, and she asked me my
business
We'll 1 said, little in doubt myself,
I'm a lawyer and politician
"'What air yer doin' up here in these
parts? This with strong tone of sus-
picion, because it was a moonshine neighbor-
hood, and strangers were not usually there
except on orders from the internal revenue
department.
oh / fastened to assure her, I'm up
here running for Congress-
'Runnin' frum Congers, air you" she re-
peated, less suspiciously.'
Yes replied, without trying to correct
her proposition.
II reckon she said with puzzled but
sympathetic look at me, that it's sumpin'
like runnin' frum the revenoos. amt it?'
Il admitted that it was a little like that,
and as l started away she said If her and
her old man could do anything for me
they would be glad to-"
Evening star., 1899-04-01
One Sort of MAN.

One Sort of Man.
'Tis sweet to hear of gentle spring
CThe roads are moist and mushy)
When early flowers their perfumes fling
(The turf is sadly slushy).
Here's welcome to the blossoms gay,
Though clustering winds may fiout EN-.
l love them well--that is to say,
love to read about EN-
The springtime lass is passing fair
DRESS costs a pretty penny.
Their gowns than blooming are more rare;
(And, ah, they have so manyD
Each fashion page brings an array
OF beauties; who shall doubt EN-?
/ love them well--that is to say,
/ love to read about 'em.
1 love the pomp of sword and drum
yet all unsafe are battlesb.
1 love the great mart's busy hum
Until my nerves it rattles.
This earth's vast business, day by day,
We couldn't do without it.
I love it well-that is to say.
1 love to read about it.
Evening star., 1899-04-01
Unreported Spanish Strategy.


''The newspaper correspondents, with
cameras in their hats and pencils sticking
out of their pockets like quills on a porcu-
pine, didn't get hold of everything that hap
pened in the late war;" remarked the lieu
tenant. There was the time the Spanish
fooled the 127th Volunteers, for Instance"
How was it, lieutenant? asked some
body.
why, it was the sharpest trick you ever
heard of, and simple as A c. You know,
the 12Ith is made up of men from New
York city-all heroes, of course, but still
they are accustomed to the civil walks of
life. And the civil walks of life taken liter
ally, nowadays, are peculiar paths. 1t was
at San Juan. The regiment had been or
dered to advance and lie down close among
some low bushes. The Spaniards were only
a short distance in front. The firing had
ceased in that neighborhood and all was
still. Our men were In a state of intense
though suppressed excitement. You could
never guess what those crafty Spaniards
did. Suddenly they rang bicycle bell, and
followed 1t with a cable-car gong. The 9th
jumped into the air as one man. The SPAN
iards blazed away and tried to take em on
the wing. OF course. they didn't hit thing.
because SDaniards never do; but If they
had been good shots they might have
bagged the whole regiment. And 1 wouldn' t
be surprised If they'd had an elevated road
guard to yell Step lively! that they could
have stampeded every last man."
Evening star., 1899-04-01
Having a Good Time.

1t was a tumbie-down street and the
young man VINO wore good clothes and a
general expression of fatigue looked up in
surprise at the surroundings into which
he had unexpectedly wandered. On the
other side Of the street number of old
and decrepit houses stood high on a ter
race and in the middle of the block was
a vacant lot. There had been for saae"
sign in front of the lot, but "for SALE signs
are tempting kndling wood. The new
Evening star., 1899-04-01
Saved.
From Life.

Eighteen fatf5msw cried the man at the
lead. fi' SFs
Rolling like 1ogVin the trough of the
sea, the apparently doomed ship was rapid
ly approaching the American coast. She
would soon strike, Unless something could
be done to Tighten her. Realizing that the
sacrifice must be made, the Scotch captain
mighty effort they lifted the manuscript of
Hall Canes next play and threw it over
board, and like a thing of life the noble
vessel responded to the helm and headed
once mole out to sea.
Evening star., 1899-04-01
X
A Difficulty.

- DhhcHftys
l guess I'll be hermit,
Fur this world is built so queer
That there isn't any reason
In believin' what you hear.
A politician told me,
You must rally to my clan,
Fur the feiler that's ag'in' me
Is bold
bad
man."
An the opposition leader
Says one day, IT'S plain to see
That the way to be respected
Is to cast your vote fur me-"
Then through an explanation
Most glib and gay he ran
To prove my first informant
Was bold
man.
There isn't any guessin'
At the truth, 1t seems to me,
BY BIS remarks concernin' A,
Nor AS concernin' B.
Fur, always, though you listen
AS fair-Tninded as you can,
You find the other feller
Is a bold
bad
man.
Evening star., 1899-04-01

Never afraid Of fire are you"
Not in the least"
You've taken precaution against these
horrors which have been so common?''
Il attended to all that the first thing"
so you never have any occasion to
worry?"
Not the slightest. My mind is perfectly
easy OF course You needn't say anything
about it. but I've got the old place insured
right up to the full limit of its valuation" :"
And the man from the west realized for
the ten thousandth time that while this
is very beautiful world, it has some
mighty rough streaks in it.
Evening star., 1899-04-01

Mrs. Youngman-'.I wish I knew some
way to prevent the baby from sucking his
thumb
Bachelor Uncle-"Humi Let me see. There
ought to be some way. Why, yes! I've
thought of a plan already"
"Oh. thank you very much. What shah
/ dor"
"Nuzzle him."-Tt-Bits.
Evening star., 1899-04-01
Looking Forward,

From Brooklyn Life
Snobleigh (proudly)-"You know. my
family are of the best colonial stock"
Miss Ingenu-''You don't say sol And
which of the colonies do you come from
Cuba, Porto Rico or the Philippines?"
Evening star., 1899-04-01
Perfectly Natural.
From Life.

Tarantula Jim Cyho has been away
Ibid Bilious Pete die natural death?"
Alkali Ike (who stayed at home)-"Yep;
lynched for hoss-stealin'."
Evening star., 1899-04-01
A Matter of Sex.
From Tit b

From Tit Bits.
Little Clarence-"Papa, what is the diff
ference between firmness and obstinaey?"
Papa-"Mereiy matter of sex, nay son.
Evening star., 1899-04-01
He Tries.
From Puck.
MY Very Vest Thanks.

Teacher-"How would you define fabl, p
Tommy-"A 'fake.'''
Evening star., 1899-04-01
The Next Morning,

From Life.
How do You feel after last nightT'
Rocky. How do your"
Fair. Wife awaken
Yes. Yours?"
Yes"
''Mad?"
wild. Yours?'
Don't mention itC
Il don't know that 1t pays after aI1.''
Nor L.
Up late. Too many cigars-nothing in 1T u
That's so. At rare intervals all right
but constant thing-neverr'
Right. Great jackpot"
The last one. Yes. Say, why didn't you
call me in that first round?"
You had me beat all right"
Il had only two small pair
That was enough
Il must be getting to the office"
Me too. Coming again tonight?"
''YesI guess so.''
Evening star., 1899-04-01

Proud Mother-"Oh, John, the baby can
walk
Cruel Father-"Good. He can walk the
floor with himself at night, then" "-Tit-Bit
Evening star., 1899-04-01

THE smallest letter during the war" ex-
planned a clerk in the dead letter office To
e Star reporter, was written on the back
of d postage stamp. II was a very hand
some piece of work as far as the work was
concerned, and was written by soldier in
an Ohio regiment. The person addressed
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1899-06-08

bad management keeps more
peopl" in poor circumstances than
any o'1er one cause. TO be success
ful is 10 look ahead and plan ahead
so tlN't when favorable opportunity
presents itself he is ready to take ad-
vantage of it. A little forethought
Will also save much expense and val
ualf." time. A prudent and careful
ma" viii keep bottle of Chamber
la1I- Collie, Cholera and Diarrhoea
Remedy in the house, the shiftless
FELLOW will wait until necessity
cunIpels it and then ruin his best
horse going for a doctor and have a
bag doctor bill to pay, besides; one
pays out - cents, the other is out a
hundred dollars and then wonders
why his neighbor is getting richer
while he is getting poorer. For sale
at Nivian's Pharmacy.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1899-06-08

Many of the Tribune readers will
be much pleased to learn of the fol-
lowing, taken from the Whitewater
Register: "Prof. H. G.. Buell., Of
of the Whitewater high school, a
very good selection by the board of
education and one which will meet
with the hearty approval of our citi-
zens. There is every reason to eX-
pect that under his management the
schools will retain the high state of
efficiency to which Prof. Whipple
brought them, as he is considered
one of the most promising young ed
graduate of the Milwaukee normal
school, an institute conductor, and
has had seven years of experience in
teaching, the first year as assistant
principal at Mineral Point, the five
succeeding ones as assistant at
GAINESVILLE, where he practically had
charge of all the high school work,
and last year as principle at Brod-
head, where he made such good
record that the board of education
offered him an advance of $3.50 in
his salary to retain him. He is a
scholarly, well educated man, and
with his family will be warmly well
coined to Whitewater
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1899-06-08
Notice to Creditors.

STATE OF WISCONSIN-IOWA COUNTY
- COURT-lN PROBATE.
In the matter of the estate of William Ire
week deceased.
Letters of administration on the estate %
William Treweek deceased. having been is
sued 10 Nicholas Treweek,
Notice is hereby given, that the creditors o
said William rreweek deceased, are allow,'
and limited by order of this court, until ant
including the first Tuesday of December 1899
being the 9th day of said month, to nresen
their claims and demands against saiG vii
liam Treweek deceased. to the County Cour
Court for examination and allowance.
Notice is also hereby given, that the claims
so presented will be examined and adjusted
by this Court. at the office of the County Judg,
at the Court House in the City of Dodgeville
said county. ON the first Tuesday of Januar!
1900.
Dated this 10th day Of May, 1890
BY the Court,
ALDRO jerks County Judge.
Spensley q Mcllhon, Attorneys 20wt
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1899-06-08
Notice of Order for Final Settlement.
Intestatc Estate.
CTATE OF WISCONSlN-IOwA COUNTY
= COIfRT-IN PROBATE.

CTATE OF WISCONSlN-lOWA COUNTY
- COURT-IN PROBATE.
Notice is hereby given that at a regular term
of the Iowa County Court, to be held in and for
said county, at the Court House, in the city OF
Dodgeville, in said county. on the fourth day
of july \ ID. 1892 being the first Tuesday
of said month. at ten o'clock in the forenoon of
said day the following matters will be heard
and considered:
The application of Catherine Graber. ex-
ecutriX of the estate of John GRADER,
late of said county, deceased for the eNamin
alton and allowance of her administration nc.
count and the assignment of the residue of said
estate TO such persons as are by law and 10y
said win entitled TO the same
And il is further ordered. that public notice
thereof he given 10 all persons interested by
Pijiis ii, z Il caps vf hi pe.ise teree weeks
successfully prior to said day of hearing, In
the Mineral Point Tribune weekly paper
published in said county.
BY the Court:
Dated ALDRO jerks,
Dodgevlle, Wis. June 9th, 1893. Judge.
J. NJ. Smith, Attorney. 23w3
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1899-06-08
Notice to Creditors.
CTATE OF WISCONSIN COT
~ LDI-llI lN IlAAR 4 WI,

CTATE OF WISCONSIN-IOWA COUNTY
= COURT-IN PROBATE.
In the matter of the estate Of james NJ Toa,
deceased.
Letters Of administration on the estate o
James NJ Toay deceased. having been ISSUED
to Mary h. Tony.
Notice is hereby given. that the creditors o
James NJ. Toay deceased, are allowed ant
limited by order of this Court, until and in
Guiding the first Tuesday of December, 1899
being the 18th day of said month. TO presen
their claims aud demands against said james
NJ Toay deceased, to the County Court fol
examination and allowance.
Notice is also hereby given, that the claims
so presented will be examined and adjusted
by this Court, at the, Office OF me count!
Judge at the Court House in the City o.
Dodgeyille, in said county, on the first Tues
day OF January 1900
Dated this 18th day of May. 1899
BY the Court.
ALDRO jerks, County Judge
Spenslcy & Mcllhon. Attorneys. 20wi
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1899-06-08

4 CTIVESoLICIToRS WANTED everywhere
- Tor The Story of the Philippines" by
Murat Halstead. commissioned by the Govern
ment as Official Historian to the War Depart
ment. The book was written In army camps at
San Francisco. on the Pacific with Gen Merritt,
n the hospitals at Honolulu, in Hong Kong,
lin the American trenches at Manila. in the in.
surgent camps with Agunaldo, on the deck of
the Olympia with Dewey. and In the roar of
battle at the fan of Manila. Bonanza for agents
Brimful OF original pictures taken by govern
ment photographers on the spot Large book
Low prices. Big profit Freight paid Credit
gwen. Drop all trashy unofficial war books
outht free. Address. +. I. Barber, Sec y. Star
INSURANCE Bldg.. Chicago.