Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1899-10-15
ONE WAY TO EAT MELON.


akes Two Friends.
Ex-Gov. William Joel Stone put aside
his cares and burdens as a national
Democratic committeeman one day last
week and became for a few minutes
plain "Bill' Stone and ate wetermelons
as he used to do on the farm. The gov
ernor had met two friends on the
street. One of them suggested some
thing refreshing in the way Of sum-
mer drinks. The governor declined.
He did not at that moment fancy
lemonade. soda water or any Of the
ordinary summer mixtures.
II am thirsty though. boys" he
added. 'I'm thirsty for watermelon.
There is nothing so good on hot Aug
ust Afternoon as rich. red. juicy water
melon"
Well, by all means let's have some
watermelon" said the man who had
first brought up the proposition. Come
on, governor"
The three gentlemen walked slowly
over to Pine street, the governor sharp
ening his appetite for watermelon ON
the way by calling up recolleetlons of
the time when. as a barefoot boy, he was
the champion melon consumer OF two
States. They entered one of those
small coffee-and-sinkers restaurants
where signs on the wall announce that
the coffee is like that mother used to
make, and where the pies are sold per
cut" Seating themselves on stools at
an uneovere>. counter the party ordered
watermelon for three. The fruit, ice
cold. and as red as blood, was produced,
symmetrically cut into wedges, each
section placed on a plate and accom-
panied by knife and fork.
Gov. Stone gave the layout one linger-
Ing look of scorn. take 1t away, sir"
he ordered. Don't you know how to
serve watermelon? The idea-bringing
little slices in here that l wouldn't offer
to an infant Take it all back and bring
me a melon. a whole one, the roundest,
greenest one in your ice box"
The restaurant man was clustered,
but he obeyed orders. He brought
back a melon which even the fastidious
ex-governor could not find fault with.
Boys" said the governor" this is
the only way to eat melon. First.
you see, thump it so. to see If it's ripe.
This one gives back q deep, melodious
p-l-u-n-k as l thump 1t, and / know
it's ripe. Then you take It'll do wish
/ had stump counter-and you bust
Ter like this"
The governor lifted the melon up
and brought it down with crash. 1t
was a masterful bust" The melon
fell apart in irregular pieces, slender
spars of the red pulp iutting out from
the rind like stalactltes from the roof
of a cavern.
Now, boys, pitch in" said the gov
ernor, picking up piece OF tho
heart" which had no rind at all to
bother him. mo knives and forks are
needed here. Don't swallow the pulp.
though, fellows. That stuffs wood. |
used to eat 1t and think 1t the best
part of the melon, but / have found
it to be most indigestible."
The melon was paid for by the man
who had offered to buy the drinks.
Then the second one In the party order
ed a fresh melon, which the governor
artistically busted" When it was
eaten, a suggestion was made that,
every one having had enough, the party
should break up. The governor OBJ
jected.
IF we had taken juleps," he said.
"the pernicious custom OF treating
would have demanded that every man
buy a round OF drinks. Each Of you
have bought, and as the melon is only
q substitute for the drinks, think 1t
is my turn, gentlemen, to set 'em up.
Landlord, bring us another round Of
melon"
The third melon was busted" and
eaten like the other two. AS the gov
ernor and his friends walked out on
the street the restaurant man called
all the help from his kitchen and was
overheard to say: Bring out your
mops and clean up this mess. An old
sport they called Governor has been
droppln' melons all over the place.
wonder who the - he is?''-st Louis