New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-11-01
Tbs rlan wit the Hoe.

$ ~--~f--~~'
Say! Who is this a-talkin' about me?
Who is this cock-sure Markham that al
lowsaa
Farmer is dumb and grovelin beast2
bet my yeller cow or fifty bushel po-
taters
That he. amt never spent week on a
farm @s- .-~. F..
He says there is no shape this side of hell
More terrible than q man hoein' corn.
It never struck me that bad.
He says the man with the hoe has
empty face" and slantin' forehead,"
and asks
s'Who loosened andIet down his brutal
jaw?'' >: ..,,..
Some farmer must hev soured him tradin'
hosses. IT,
Farmers are s.dead to joy''? 1t makes me
laugh! s~-.
Did he ever see sleighln' party?
Or apple parin bee2
Or huskin' bee, with sev'ral red ears?
Or picnic party to the woods or shore?
Or qulltmparty fer nebor's wife?
On help anabor raisin' his new house2s
Whoopl TTFun? Gosh all Friday! Why
say.
City folks don't hardly know what FUN is !
The greatest fun is dom something fer
somebody
Else, and you can do that
Jest as we'll in the rooral deestricks
AS mex door to the opery house.
s'Distorted and .soul-quenched" the farm
er is?
Not much he amt, cnless he will to be !!
This .ity person says the
Farmer s'never grieves nor never hopes ="
Eff he supposes so he couldn't hev druv
Within tenNmiles of ary farmers house.
Why, every week and day we grieye and
hope. -.
Where women is there's allus joy and
pain,
And cords of both! Where little chill
dren be
There's allus lots of JOY and tears.
They climb up on our knees and
Twine themselves around our aching
hearts, and
When they laugh, we laugh, and
When they're snatched away the world
grows dark
And sorrow comes and
sits in the empty, silent chairs.
Eff could write ez we'll ez kin hoe,
I'd tell this starched-up gent some things
Would like enuf surprise him.
He lows thet 1 am "brother to the OK
Very we'll. So be it.
That's different from stepbrother of the
horse.
And shows we amt related, me and him.
I b'leeve it is forbid in holy rit
To yoke up OK and ass together, amt
It?
That there's farmers joke, and
Swaller tails every day, but
Our parson told us Sunday before last
About a rastler in old ancient times
Who could not be hove by any giant,
Long ez he got Electricity from the
ground;
His name was Anteus or Anteup or some
sutch.
He made old Hercules sweat and put
him to
His t1umps. But when he scorned the
earth and
Jumped up in the air and talked bout
seraphlms,
Old Herclees got the hip hook on him
And huv him higher'n Gilderoy's kite.
Jest SO! Haw, ha! And
Parson he also likewise told us about the
Irishman, Di O'Clesion, who when
He was elected King of England, sternly
Answered, "No If you could only see my
splendid cabbage patch you never'd
think of =.
Akin me to swop 'em fur throne, be-
gobs!'' <
Therefore, in conclusion, ez the parson
says,
would merely further remark that
Almost every great man in the world
Has passed his youth in contact with the
ground,
A-Hourishin' this same hoe, this Edwin
p'r'aps excepted.
And don't it make US happy some
To remember and reflect that we farmers
Produce all food the human family eats?
Why, certainlvit docs!
And amt this knowledge Of his useful
ness
Enuf to make any farmer rejoice, ex-
cep1in'
P'r'ps one who wants 20
Keep his own snout in the trough all the
While?
Say, Edwin! Come off
Do not grieve your numerous friends by
letting
Up and down your lower jaw SO much.
: Farmer ". a. croffut in Orange Judd
Farmer.