Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1899-07-10
SHE RODE PIGEON-TOED.
Imagine the Audacity of the Man Who
Told Her of It.

The long, timber, loose-jointed in
dividual who was riding leisurely
along the boulevard on a bicycle
quickened his pace slightly and drew
alongside a young woman attired in
divided skirts and riding man.
wheel.
eff you will not think I am taking
too great liberty, MISS" he said,
raising his hat, II will venture to tell
you that you ride pigeon-toed"
"Sir!'
ooh, most decidedly. Pigeon toed.
Nobody, perhaps, has done you the
kindness to call your attention to it.
The effect, as one may say, viewed
from the rear"
81 don't think you're much of a
gentleman, anyway"
Eyes, but am. I'm a gentleman
old enough to be your father, young
lady. That is why I took it upon
myself to speak to you. Wouldn't you
rather
I'D rather not have anything to say
to you, sir"
Il was going to ask if you wouldn' t
rather I spoke to you about it than to
wink at somebody on the sidewalk
and point at you, and let you ride on
in ignorance?"
'No, sir, think there is no occasion
to speak of it"
81 beg your pardon, but think there
is. couldn't be ungentlemanly enough
to jeer at you behind your back, and
from my point of view"
Besides, / have never been intro
duced to you, sir"
"Then allow me to introduce myself
My name is Civilians. Have a wife,
but no children. Hence, I have plenty
Of time to go about doing good
"Sir, I"
''And from my point Of view; as I
was about to say, it would be almost
equally ungentlemanly to see young
lady ride pigeon-toed manner and give
her no intimation that she is making a
bewildering spectacle of herself
81 don't believe it, either"
"Be it far from me to dispute with
you, miss, but you will pardon me for
observing"
II won't, either!"
For observing that you are not
riding the least bit pigeon-toed now"
"How dare you, sir?''
cit does take good deal of courage:
that's fact. But it's a sort of duty. 7
am always getting into scrapes, even
when I am trying the hardest to be a
| public benefactor Great Scott, young
| woman! Do I look like a man who
would go around poking his nose into
steel traps merely for the enjoyment
of the sensatiOn?"
II was going along here peaceably,
sir, and paying no attention to you,
and it does seem to me"
II beg your pardon, my dear Miss
Miss
Never mind, sir!"
Miss Neyermind-thank you-Why
will you persist in refusing to look at
the case from my point of view? Just
your pigeon-toed form Of riding ii
doesn't follow that nobody ever ought
to tell you, and who can do it so ap-
propriately as some old, withered-but
still active, young woman, still active
hunks like me? Pigeon toes gen
orally accompany-steady, now-they
generally accompany bowlegs-"
Sir, think you are"
"They do, indeed, miss. They do, in
deed. I wouldn't deceive you in a
matter like that They don't always
go together, of course, but the pre-
sumption is strong. Now, my wife
rides out occasionally in her wheel
but I do assure you that if she rode
pigeontoed, or had dropped handle
bars and hump, or wore the Jenny
Miller style of gear-I am not sure
whether that's the proper name for
| it"
'Well, it isn't"
"Probably not. But if she did all
that, and rode a mans machine, be-
sides, I should say to her: My dear,
have position in society to maintain
I owe something to my family name.
There is no blot, [ believe, on the
name of Civilians. Therefore, my
dear, if you insist on going out in that
style I shall hire some trusty police
man to go along to take care of you
and I will stay at home and pray for
you. There are machines made for
women to ride on, and there is no
more need of their mounting a man s
wheel than there is for their riding in
the smoking car of railway train
because there happens to be a smok-
ing car. And short skirts look bet
ter than short skirts and the Jenny
Miller style combined. That's the
| WOW cbou1d talk tO NV wifo and if