The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1899-01-12
Sf0rNeffeS.

At sight of Robert Lincoln Wells,
Melinda Johnson suddenly became
stiff in the neck.
"Why don't you come to see me no
mo-, Mr.. Wells ?" she said in her haugh-
test manner.
Robert Lincoln Wells almost blushed
through his black skin. Guilt was
written on every feature of his face.
Then he had an inspiration.
ITO, tell de truf, Miss 'Mely, Pm clean
scared of yo' dorg."
"Well, the amt no call to be scared
of my dorg, Mr.. Wells. In the first
place. he amt never loose where he can
git at anybody. In the second place
he wouldn't bit yeh if he could. An
in the third place, amt got no dOrg in
the first place.
While before Petersburg, doing siege
work in the summer of 1864, the men
had wormy bareback served out to
them Breaking open the biscuits and
finding live worms in them, they would
throw the pieces in the trenches, al
though the orders were to keep the
trenches clean. A brigade officer of
the day, seeing some of these scraps,
called out sharply to the men:
Throw that bareback out of the
trenches"
Then as the men promptly gathered
it up, he added:
Don't you know that you've no bus
mess to throw hardtack in the
trencheS?'
Out from the injured soldiers heart
there came the reasonable explanation,
"We've thrown it out two or three
times. sir. but it crawls back"
One day Mrs. MacPhairson was trOt.
ting home from her grocer's with some
spiritual comfort tucked under her
apron, when she ran up against her
friend, Mistress Macleod, and felt
called upon to explain.
81 waur just beyont at Muster Mac
Tavish's store. He keeps tn very best
ham in a to- land Our John loves a
bit o. guild ham, we ken, and is We YAM
merin' ABBOTT tn ham at ither shops
bein, over fat an saut"
"Oor Tam tn same" said Mrs. Mac
leod, land so III gang and gle Mac
lavish trial now
Five minutes after that Mrs. Macleod
went to the obliging grocer and asked
for sd pund O ham,"
"What kind O. ham 2" inquired Mus
ter MacTavish
''Oh, gle me the same kind that
Mistress MacPhairson always gets
here
"a RIGHT" refunded the grocer, with
a cunning Ieer. "And then, bending
over the counter, he said, in highly
significant whisper: "Whaur's yer bot
tle?'
''Was Mrs. Highhyer at the Metro
politan Opera House," asked Mrs.
Bob Keyworth of her husband who
had attended the performance
eyes, she was there" replied Mr..
Bob.
-'What did she have on?'
Nothing as far as I could see. She
was seated in her box, so could see
only the upper part of her body. l be-
lieve she did have diamond necklace
on, and possibly some clothes, but 1
couldn't see them. For all know she
may have been dressed like chorus
girl"
'Perhaps," said Mrs. Keyworth with
severity, If you hadn't been so absorbed
in looking at the chorus you might
know more about what Mrs. Highfyer
had on
\ lad of IL years was induStriOusly
at work upon woodpile in his moth
er's backyard, when he was approached
by a playmate.
"HellO, Ben" said the youngster, ''do
you get anything for cuttin' the
wood? ?"
"Well, | reckon | do" replied Ben,
Ma gives me penny a day for dom
it,"
"What are you going to do with yer
money!"
"Oh, she's saving it fer me, an when
I get enough she's goin' to get me an
AK"
1t strikes us that there is deep UNI
DERIVING principle in this yarn that fits
on to lot of things in the world as it
is.