Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1899-06-08
CHAMP CLARK LETTER
Republicans Need an Ant
Exterminator.
WANTED IN PHILIPPINES.
Bad News For Hugh Hanna's
National Bank Ring.
WANTED IN PHILIPPINES.
INSECTS DEVoUR PAPER MONEY.

INSECTS DEVoUR PAPER MONEY.
BoodIers and JObbers Seem at Lsst
10 Have Run Up Against Something
Which They Cannot ControI-Fight
For Reeds shoes-Aany Candidates
In the FieId-How Hopkins Turned
the Laugh on Joe wheeler
Especial Washington I.etter.1
What the Mckinley administration
is in sorest need of is an ant extermi-
nator. The man who can furnish one to
do the work effectually will deserve to
be premier duke in Mark Hanna $ peer
age when the nobility of the new en-
pire is established, and will pile up a
fortune that will put to blush the one
which Colonel Sellers saw in the future
sales of his celebrated eye salve. The
illustrious colonel proposed to pile up
his ducats in Asia, where. SO be alleged.
everybody had sore eyes. By strange
and happy coincidence it is also in
Asia that the patentee of the ant ex-
terminator will rake in the shekels-
that portion of Asia, for the most
worthless of quitclaim deeds to which
we paid $40, 600, 900. A recent dispatch
conveys to us this melancholy intelli-
gence:
Paper money cannot be used in the Phil
ippines. The islands are infested with
ants, which eat almost everything and
are particularly fond of paper In a re-
cent shipment of money for the troops
was 81, ,0O00 coo in paper money of small de-
nominations, and preparations were being
made to send more paper in the next ship
ment when warning was given that
hereafter nothing but gold and silver coin
must be sent to the islands. It was stated
that ants got into the boxes and attacked
the packages of bills. which were saved
from destruction only by the greatest
care.
Bad For National Bank Ring.
There you are. 1.-The islands are in
tested with ants, which eat almost ev-
erything and are particularly fond of
paper How Hugh H. Hannas ma
tiona7 bank ring will cuss when they
read that. for. were not those islands
annexed by purchase for the express
purpose inter ALA of furnishing that
precious gang Of patriots for revenue
only larger field in which 10 loan out
the currency which the government
loans to them without interest And
how the exuberant jingoes will swear
at the Manila press censor who permit
ted that ugly fact to slip into the dis
patches. 1t really appears that the boo
dlers, adventurers and jobbers have at
last run up against something which
| they cannot control-and that some
thing is great fact in nature-name-
ly, that the Philippines are infested
with ants which eat almost every
thing" I am neither the spiritual nor
legal adviser of Mark Hanna and his
plundering crew. But in their search
for Philippine ant exterminator I
make bold to suggest that they induce
Mr.. Secretary Alger to send to the in
fected districts quantum sufficit Of
the embalmed beef, which General
Eagan said he would make our soldiers
eat, nolens volens. If that beef does not
exterminate the pestiferous and omniv-
orous ants. than the case is hopeless
But what becomes Of our new Philip
pine paradise. fer. haven't we all been
assured that we had secured paradise
here ON earth, where every prospect
pIeases and only man is vile?
Seriously, O my countrymen, are
we not paying too dearly for the whistle
when we send our boys, the very flower
of the land, in an endless procession to
die in the conquest of faraway islands,
SO untitled for our civilization, habits
and institutions that even paper money
cannot be used The ants '.eat almost
everything and are particularly fond of
paper. " What an awful blow that will
be to the 450 editors of The Congress
sional Record. AS soon as congress
meets / will, as in duty bound, offer a
resolution to print special edition of
that great daily ON sheets of iron, steel,
copper, zinc or brass for the delecta
tion of our yellow bellied fellow citi-
zens Of the Philippines, who are our
fellow citizens by right of purchase at
the low figure of 81 per head, or III
cents per pound unless, peradventure.
| should discover in the meantime that
these Philippine ants eat iron, steel,
copper, zinc or brass.
Perhaps, with an eye of prophecy,
King Solomon was thinking of our new
Asiatic empire when he conjured the
sluggard to observe the ant and be wise.
Republican Rottenness In Ohio.
The following editorial from the Gin
cinnati Commercial Tribune, Republic
an organ, shows the utter rottenness of
Republican politics in Ohio:
Announcement is made in official way
by the chairman that for two hours to-
morrow afternoon the Republican COM
mittee of Hamilton county named to Sc
lect delegates to the Columbus conven-
ton will meet "to receive recommenda-
tions for appointment as such delegates
By way of adding insult to injury there
Is appended this invidious invitation. "A1I
loyal Republicans who win commit them
selves to the Republican cause are invited
to attend.
What farcical proceeding is this gra-
tuitous juggie with popular intelligence.
Does George Il. Cox imagine for a mo-
ment that this pretense at canvassing
public opinion deceives the most simple?
1t Is the outrage of brazen effrontery add
ed to the outrage of forcible usurpatlon
OF the peoples suffrage. 1t is impudence
laughing in the face of impassiveness and
should stir the spirit of righteous resent
ment in every Republican who Is true 10
the principles and proud of the traditions
of his party.
For two hours, forsooth this Cox cabal
subservfent to the beck and call of the
boss. Indifferent to every interest of the
party, will sit in state and receive rec
concentrations for appointment as such
delegates In two hours voters of the
dominant party of Hamilton county may
make known tn this committee. individ-
uafly and collectively. their preference in
the choice of delegates. How comical and
how utterly contemplate the proposition
But even this. ludicrous as Il Is. must
needs have Qualiiication--"A loyal Re-
pubiicans who will commit themselves 10
the Republican cause are invited to at
tend
That is. being interpreted into plain
parts Of speech, II any Cox factionists
have suggestions or recommendations
touching the selection of delegates. the
Cox committee viii devote two hours to
the perfunctory pastiIne of hearing them.
Only Cox factionists are invited, and no
others viii be given even the scant cour-
tesy OF this hearing At the conclusion Of