The Irish standard., 1899-03-04
A College Story
An Interesting Tale Of Stubs
Noisrless Banjo
NOU see" said the Princeton man.
"Stuh EiIlIS wau surh my all

VOU see" said the Princeton man.
Stub Giills was such an all
around white man and 1t didn't seem
square to leave him out Of anything
that was going on. II wasn't just that
hewas the hes, halfback in all the col
leges that gave him such hold, but he
was just the sqnurest kind OF u chap,
and there wasn't u more popular man
in college. Well, we rang him in on
the winter theatriculs, though he didn't
have enough dramatic gumption to
shift scenes. and he waddled through
his part like IL duck across hot stove.
But that was all right; everybody want
ed 10 see Stub Gillis. the famous half
back and he was u drawing card. Then
came the proposition TO run him in on
the Glee and Banjo club winter trip.
] was assistant manager and pushed it
along all knew, for Stubs and were
great old pals, just the sameI knew
he was dead Que on the tune racket.
well, the manager went up against
him and asked him II he could sing
Stub didn't have any false ambitions
about him.
Sing whatf' he says. b.
"'Sing tunes. said the manager.
"'l can sing the class song. says
Stub. but I'm the only one that can tell
what it is I'm singing. As a triler l
don't strike yer, lofty average
"'Well. you can stand up and make
your mouth go without letting any
noise out of it." says the manager.
I'D hate to trust myself Stub said.
THAT put him out Of the Glee club
business. but there was still the banjo
club. All sorts Of instruments got into
that. but the only thing the candidate
had ever even tried TO play was jews
harp. and he couldn't back himself for
any record-breaking oratorios on that.
1t looked pretty dark, and Stub felt
wuzzy, for he was roofing deep to 80
along. I put in some thinks about 1t
and dug up an idea.
"'Look here. said 10 the manager,
IN rig up a banjo for Stubs with fake
strings aud we'll put him in the second
row. where he won't be- a mark for all
the spy glasses in the house. and teach
him TO go through the motions. and
uOh oCC " uStC Nv III w NC uuN
thing bu, gigantic snccess,'
"'Go ahead with your banjo said the
manager. only look out that the
strings don't stitfen up and turn out
spiel when ii isn't wanted
ut didn't take me long to get that
instrument rugged; looked like the real
thing. too, but YOU couldn't get any
more racket out of the strings than
out Of lump Of putty. They were a
sort Of hemp arrangement. stiffened up
to look like gut. and to make sure OF
Its being on the quiet the bridge and
tail piece were plugged with felt. At
first Stub was kind OF sore; said he'd
rather be tailor's dummy and make
an honest living. But after I'd taught
him the motions he took to it all right
and used TO come to rehearsals regular
~, so he'd know when to leave OFF hi.
picking and when to begin on it again.
When we got started on the trip, We
made him usher every night and he'd
had so much about him in the newspa-
pers that every place we struck the
girls would wait In line for him TO take
them up the aisle. 1t was a. case OF zero
for the other ushers. Al the receptions
after the show. too. Stub was a hot
tomale, but it didn't get him stuck on
himself, for he wasn't that kind. He
was an easy kingpin I'LL we struck New
Orleans. and there he made the break
Of his life.
ut was Sunday evening when we
landed.in that resort Of Mardi Gras and
other large and healthy joys and we
sort OF scattered around to get blrIs-
eye view Of the town. When IL came to