davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06
A Good Parrot Story.

A maiden lady of a certain town in
Cornwall owned a parrot, which some
how acquired the disagreeable habit of
observing at frequent intervals, 81
wish the old lady would die" This an
noyed the birds owner. who spoke to
her curate about it.
II think we can rectify the matter,
replied the good man. 81 also have a
parrot, and he is a righteous bird, hav-
ing been brought up in the way he
should go. I will lend you my parrot,
and I trust his influence will reform
that depraved bird Of yours"
The curate's parrot was placed in the
same room with the wicked one, and as
soon as the two had become accustomed
to each other the bad bird remarked, 81
wish the old lady would die" where.
upon the clergyman's bird rolled up his
eyes and in solemn accents added, "We
beseech thee to hear us, good Lordl"
The story got out in the parish, and
for several Sundays it was necessary to
omit the litany ut the church services.
Household Words.
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06
HIGH LIFE in GOTHAM.
A Searching Criticism of the Wal
d0rf.AstOrin and Its Habitues.

A Scorching Criticism of the WAL
dorf-Astoria and It's Habttues.
The Waldorf Astoria hotel is a great
temple of Mammon. You go there at
any time and the only things you hear
about are millions. Eeu see million
aires Of all sorts. fat and lean, young
and old. You hear them, at the bar or
gathered around tables. talking ''mar-
gins and of trusts and Of millions.
Everybody seems, around the Waldorf
at least, to be money mad. The bellboys
won't look at a tip less than 81. In the
cafe an egg costs as much as a square
meal. Cigars at 81 apiece are quite the
ordinary thing. You can spend a
months salary on a dinner for four,
and wine at $15 per bottle is not at all
exorbitant.
The place is crowded all the time by
the wealthiest visitors to Manhattan
from all over the world. You are told
in awe inspiring whispers that there
are suits of rooms costing $3.50 per day.
You are shown the safe which at this
very minute holds 1000. coo worth of
valuables belonging to guests. And
you'll see millionaires eating with their
knives, and you'll hear dowagers tell
ing their friends 81 done it" and 81
seen her" Money, money, money! The
continual elevation of it is nauseating.
There is something sordid in all the
Waldorf Astoria splendor.
The atmosphere of the Waldorf-As-
toria is reeking with vulgarity and all
un~healthiness. All these millionaires
are nothing, after all, but a horde of
gamblers. And the women so far as
one sees them, seem to be oppressed by
their wealth. If there is anything more
horrible than the high Gotham life in
which every man and woman every day
is sentenced to evening dress after 6
o'clock, where is it?
A distinguished man Of letters said
to me, after a view of the Waldorf-As-
toria cafe in the evening, where you
have to reserve your table in the early
afternoon, 1.-The trouble with these
people is that they have no souls" And
most of them haven't. They live solely
for the senses. They are to be pitied
rather than envied.-Exchange.
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06
The SUMS Motion.

An astronomical fact now as former
ly causing no little perplexity to some
is that the SUMS motion-which I'M
questionably and indisputably is ex-
tremely quick-does not change the
relative position of the solar system to
the fixed stars and the consultations
more than it actually does, and there
are some who on this account are in
clined to doubt the actual motion of
the u in space.
The Investigations Of astronomers
have nevertheless established one thing
as certain-namely, that the sun move
through space at a great speed-esti-
mated by some scientists at 16 miles a
Misunderstanding all the planets, satel-
lites and other cosmical bodies along
with it, but this motion Of the vast
luminary, while affecting, of course,
the real motion of the planets in space,
does not in even the slightest degree
affect the relative motion Of sun and
planets.
Even under the supposition Of sc
great a rate as 16 miles in n second,
this relative position of the sun to the
fixed stars would, astronomers declare,
be hardly ~perceptible in a century, or
account of the almost inconceivablt
DISTANCE of the latter-the conclusion
being, therefore, that many thousands o.
years must pass before the suns prope,
motion in space can change the confg
uration of the star groups.
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06
She Was deliberate.

It is said that Dinah MULCH Craik,
the famous author of "John Halifax,
Gentleman" made habit of leaving
at her bank the manuscript of each Of
her stories as oon as it was completed.
It would remain there perhaps six
months and then che would call for il
and see how the story affected her after
that lapse of time. If it pleased her, the
manuscript was sent to the publisher.
Otherwise it was rewritten or thrown
away.
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06
A ReDly.

A story about William Pitt 1 read or
heard somewhere many years ago, it is
to be feared, is not authentic, as I can
not find it in Lord Stanhopo's or Lord
Rosebery's book. 1t represented a no.
bic m%ediocrity as assuring the great
statesman with some condescension that
he might fairly expect an earldom for
his magnificent services.
II an earll" was the naughty reply:
II make dukes. "-Macmillan's.
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06
william Blacks Disturbed Din

There fingers in Oban a legend to the
effect that one hot day William Black,
the novelist, went to a quiet place out
of sight to swim. He undressed in a re-
mote part Of the rocks. When he was
in the water, a woman, deeply immers-
ed in a blue volume. which was "The
Princess of Thule" came and sat I'M
Willingly near his clothes. The swim
mer, tired with his exercise, was anx-
ious to return to his garments, but the
lady on shore was far too engrossed
with the fortunes of Princess Sheila to
heed the coughing intimations of his
presence. Presently matters came to a
crisis. A sportsman passed along the
rocks and discerned Mr.. Blacks dark
head bobbing above the waves. He took
it for a seal and was taking a deadly
aim when Mr.. Black jumped up in the
water and implored: "Don't fire. I'm
a human man"
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06
The cnnttn1 If uo1lnnd.

A gentleman-to the best of our recol-
lection a retired linen draper-went
into school one day with the intention
of putting the fifth standard through
their facings in the geography Of Eu-
rope. He began, "What is the capital
of 'Olland7" "Capital H." was the
crushing rejoinder from the smart boy
of the class. The ex-linen draper did
not pursue his geographical inquiries
further. -CornhiIl
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06
LiheIa on Dogs.

After all man does not remember the
dogs good qualities as he should. Look
at the SMILES he uses-t'you lying
hound" ''mean as a hound dog"
t'dog" and slow down curr' Man
hardly can think of a lower name than
one connected with dogs. And in horse
racing the worthless ones are called
f'dogs."
1t seems a little %ungrateful when one
remembers all that a dog will bear
from a man and still love him.-New
York Commercial Advertiser.
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06
Milea of Advertising,

No street in the world is more plas-
tered with advertising than Broadway,
New York. Even to those recognizing
that fact the amount does not appear
startling until 1t is put into figures.
The combined length of the two sides Of
Broadway from the Battery to Central
park is 50, 800 feet. The amount of ad-
vertising on the buildings and in shop
windows is such that it would take q
man between eight and ten days of
eight hours each to read his way up one
side and down the other.
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06
Taking a, Walk.

Justice-What have you to say in an
swer to the charge of stealing this
mans plank walk2
The Accused took it by advice Of
my physician, yer honor. He told me
to take a long walk every day. This
was the first long walk I saw today, and
Of course I took it. A man can't afford
to employ a doctor unless he takes his
advice.
Justice-The court, however, will
give you advice for nothing-three
months rest You will take it in the
house Of correction.-Boston Tran
script.
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06
Injured

"That, sir, exclaimed the indignant
merchant, 'is what I call a gratuitous
f%alsehood."
''It's nothing of the kind" replied
the unscruPulous salesman. II get a
salary and a commission for telling that
falsehood. Washington Star.
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06
He Got the Fees.

sagar. the verger Of Halifax parish
church, was quite a character in his
way. He figured in several good stories
in Dean Pigou's "Phase of My Life
On n occasion a bridegroom discover
ed after the service that he had no mon
ey with which to pay the fees.
Sagar went to the aide in his most
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06

"What would you say" asked the
fair theosophist, eff I should tell you
that l was born in Egypt 5000 years
ago?"
"Why. l should certainly say you
don't look it. "-Brooklyn Life.
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06

The ancient Egyptians used to fish
with cats on the Nile. The animals
were trained to enter the water and
seize the fish. which were then taken
away by the fishermen
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06
They All Knew.

Teacher--Now, boys, who was Co.
lumbus?
No answer.
Teacher (promptingly)-The man
that
Class (readily)-Broke the bank at
Monte Carlo-London Judy.
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06
lon. Ear Better Thau Two.

A we'll known professor asserts that
the smallest intervals Of sound can be
better distinguished with n "a than
! with both.
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06
Saved.

''Spare mel" pleaded the trembling
captive, falling upon his knees.
every WE'LL replied the cannibal,
with a grin II will ave you for. my
Sunday dinner New York Journal.
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06

This Is Your Opportunity.
On receipt of ten cents, cash or stamps,
q generous sample will be mailed of the
most popular Catarrh and Hay Fever Cure
(Ely's Cream Balm) sufficient to demon
strate the great merits of the remedy.
ELY BROTHERS,
Sc Warren St., New York City.
Rev. John Reid, Jr.. of Great Falls, Mont,
recommended Ely's Cream Balm to me. I
can emphasize his statement, ut is a posi-.
tive cure for catarrh if used as directed."-
Rev. Francis w. Poole, Pastor CentralPr r
Church, Helena, Mont.
Ely's Cream Balm is the acknowledged
cure for catarrh and contains no mercury
nor any injurious drug. Price, so cents.
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06

1t is asserted that women are on the
whole cooler and more self possessed
than men in cases of disasters at sea.
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06
A Happy Introduction.

An Englishman who is an enthusi-
astic Alpine clubbist came in one night
to carry a friend off to a lecture which
the veteran mountaineer Whymper vas
giving at Westminster on his pet theme,
''Twenty Thousand Feet Above the
Sea-" The friend could not 90, for he
was otherwise engaged, but Whymper's
name reminded him of a story of Sir
James Linton, the late president of the
Royal Institution of Painters In Water
Colors. He had to introduce the well
known artist E. NJ. Wimperis to the
Alpinist, and he did it in the following
fashion: II want to make two distin-
guished men known to each other. The
one is MI. Whymper, the other Mr..
Wimperis.' For an impromptu this is
not had.
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06

winsome way and asked her: "Hast
ever seen Black Bibles? We've a rare
lot on EN- in this ere vestry.
"No,' she replied, not having the
faintest idea of what Il Black Bible was.
"Coom along, I'll show yer them
He lured her into the inner vestry.
"There's the Bibles" he said. point
ing to them, locked up as they were i'll
a bookcase with glass panels, of which
he had not the key "Wait awhile till
l come back
Ho turned the key of the vestry on
the bride and. going to the bridegroom
said, Class is all right. but you'll no
have her till you have paid"
The ''brass'' was Immediately forth
coming.
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06

hCr.
Cholly-Well, they say love is blind.
Clara-Blindl Nonsensel l never
saw a man in love yet who did not see
ten times as much in his sweetheart as
I could. -Harlem Life.
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06
AWifeSays:

ave have four children, With the first
thsse l suffered almost unbearable pains from
u to "A hours, and had to be placed under
the influence of chloroform. I used three
bottles of Mothers Friend before ous Last
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06

child came, which
is a strong, fat and
healthy boy, doing
my housework up
to ithin two hours
Of birth, and SUI
fered but few hard
pains. This ini-
1nent is the grand
est remedy ever
made"
The Dickinson press., 1899-05-06
Through Lovers, Eyes.

Clara (on the wrong side of SOL
tim sure l don't know what he sees in
Evening star., 1899-03-31
BALTIMORE AND OHIO RAILROAD.

Schedule in effect March H. 1899.
Leave Washington from station corner Of New
Jersey avenue and
For Chicago and Northwest, vestibuled Limited
trains, l1:O5, II :2o am 500 pm
For Cincin1ati. st. Louis and Indianapolis, Ex-
press, II ;2S an Vest:buIed Limited. $40 pm.
For rittsburg and Cleveland. Express daily IL :o5
Far m and Hdsnn.I s;to Pm r ditsbgrg @ only l55 pm
Fer Winchester and way stations 1900 a m
'3;4o and $3.50 pm,
For Luray, $40 pm. daily.
For baltimore, week days, 500. $50, x7:05,
x,io. 1I:30, xs:oo, $3.50. xS:3O. x1o:OO am,
4s5 .5:o5 80 15so 1920. $50. 1900 1890 $50 $50
1000. 80. XII 80 pm and x2:OO night. Sum-
aiS ss sse as:S $3.50 1so .lSsS SsS
800 F 1a.,il ,l0oo i1:so 5ll;5 ;5o pm. x2oo night.
53o pm Sundays, $50 am H' and :sS pm. JIM anu
For Frederick week days 500 and il :25 am.
For IS su.91ss III as sGn no. and 5
For Boyd and way points, week days. 900 a m.
80 80 $50. ':oo M Sundays. 800 am. I:I5,
For Gai'ns!s6urs m and way points week days
snndays n ojo iE;Jo ii: 5S5: o ;o5 y 20 pm
an Ays gesa daSs ia Wy SOj toinis ants Sis is
For Upper Marlboro $50 am. ..:ao and ..:s5
ROYAL BLUE LINE FOR NEW YORK AND
PHILADELPHIA.
E An trstIs rhinInn Illuminated S VIII I PiHtssh ht
LIP pm. tall Dining carsl; 600 ''Roya! Lin;
Dining Carr. 500 t2:o0 night Sleeping Car open
at lp:,0 H'elocSi SUNDAYS, 1906 900 m, 12:O5
neon ll:i5 Dining Carr. 800 t5:O5 Dining Carr,
500. 2co night. Sleeping Car, open 1890 Clock.
PafioF Cars or ali day trains.
Fer Atlantic City. 1000 a. m j2:O5 noon and
1:l5 pm, week days 12:05 noon Sundays.
For Cape Nav. 1898 noon.
Except Sunday. NENpress trains
Baggage called for aud checked FROM hotels and
residences by Union Transfer Co. ON orders left at
ticket cifces Siy Pennsy lyania avenue northwest
New York avenue and 18th street. and at depot
r D. UNDERWOOD, ID. Is. MARTIN,
Genera! Manager. Mgr Pass. Traffic
S. b. IiEGE Gen'I Agt. Pass Dept
Washington. D. c.
Evening star., 1899-03-31

Public Notice That They viii Not he
Consulted in 1900.

In a speech at a democratic conference
in Topeka, Kan, last night, w. j. Bryan
defined his attitude toward the gold wing
of the democracy. He said:
The democratic platform for 1900 will
be written by those who stood upon the
platform Of 1896, not by those who tried 10
overthrow the democratic party in that
campaign.
THE failure which attended those who or
ganized the gold party and wrote the In
dianapolis platform ought to restrain them
from proffering their services as platform
makers for some years to come"
MIR, Bryan declared that events have been
vindicating the policies proposed by the
democratic party in 1896 He then passed
on to the subject of trusts, and character
lied them as the products of republican
methods. He gave this warning:
If the republican party goes into the
next campaign upon a platform defending
trusts, il will antagonize sentiments which
are rapidly growing against them, even in
the ranks of that party"
Mr.. Bryan closed with denunciation Of
militarism, and what he termed the ten
dency of the present administration toward
Imperialism. He said:
Inc republican party came Into exist
ence I'm an attempt to apply the Declara-
ton of Independence to the black man: IL
seems likely to go out of existence for It's
refusal TO apply the same principles 10
brown man-only half black"
Evening star., 1899-03-31
WORK OF GRAND JURY.
Delivcrance Respecting Grade
Crossing in Rockville.

Special Correspondence of The Evening Star.
ROCKVILLE, Md, March 80, 1899.
The grand jury for the March term of the
circuit court for this county yesterday sub
nlitted its report and was discharged. The
jury convened Monday. March 20. and dur
ing the nine days of the session twenty-one
indictments We're found-the smallest num-
ber returned by any grand jury within the
past five or six years. The offenses charg
ed and the number of indictments for each
offense are as follows: Assault with intent
to kill, 1; murder, 1; burglary, l; larceny,
4; assault, 4; violations of local option law,
8; keeping gaming tables, 2.
The most important matter to the people
Of Rockville considered by the grand jury
was the Baltimore and Ohio railroad cross
ing, near the depot in this town. The
crossing is where the railroad tracks cross
the Baltimore road at grade within the cor
porate limits of Rockville. A large num-
Der of the citizens of East Rockville are
compelled to cross the tracks at this point,
and owing to alleged insufficient protection
provided by the railroad company, narrow
escapes are said to be frequent About a
month ago citizen Of this town was killed
the result, according to general opinion,
of the, neglect of the railroad company in
not having a man stationed at the crossing
to warn travellers of the approach of trains.
When the grand jury convened last week
several of the citizens of the town re-
quested it to investigate the matter. Four
or five well-known residents We're sum-
nOneQ 10 appear before the jury, ana upon
the strength of their testimony the follow
ing in regard to the railroad company was
contained in the grand jury report:
AT the request of persons interested We
caused witnesses to be summoned to testify
as to the working of the system in use in
Rockville at the railroad crossing. We find
it inefficient. No view of the railroad gan
be had uy persons approaching from either
side, and because of this and the inefficient
services of the railroad employees. persons
have at divers times, within recent years,
been caught on the tracks between the
gates, with the gates shut down and trains
approaching. AT times vehicles have been
much damaged and the persons occupying
them placed in imminent peril of their
lives. Recently a man was killed at this
crossing. The remedy for all this is OBJ
vious. A man should be placed there by the
railroad company, and his sole duty should
be to manage the gates and guard the pub
lie safety
Judge Henderson just prior to discharging
the grand jury in brief remarks referred
to that portion of the report relating to the
railroad crossing "well-timed' - and de-
clared it to be the duty of the company to
properly protect the travelling public at this
dangerous point
Evening star., 1899-03-31

Diseases that attack women are worse then
pirates. They torture long before they
kill. But women can beat them off and
cut them down with DR. Pierce's Favorite
Prescription. This is a woman's remedy
that has no alcohol, opium or other mar
cotic in it. 1t is the prescription of DR..
R. v. Pierce, of Buffalo, N Y, who has
devoted a long and successful life to the
study and treatment of diseases peculiar to
women. 1t overcomes Irregularities, stops
disagreeabie drains, bearing down pains
and backache; cures female weakness and
headache. 1t helps the girl over the diff
culties encountered when she enters wom-
anhood; makes the period preceding ma
ternity time of comfort; and the newborn
enters the world without unnecessary
pain to the mother. At the turn of life"
it is priceless to womarkind Medicine
dealers sell it, and you should never
permit them 20 substitute other medicine
which they may urge upon you as Just
rs good"
u had been q great sufferer from female
weakness" writes Mrs NJ B. Wallace. Of Mu-
erster. Cooke Co. Texas. "I tried four doctors
and none did me any good. suffered six years,
but at las, found relief ] followed your ad-
vice. and took four bottles Of Golden Medical
Discovery, and eight of the Favorite Prcscrip-
tor / now feel like n<sU :somcx I have
gained eighteen pounds"
Evening star., 1899-03-31
FOREIGN POSTAL SERVICE.

WASHINGTON. ID. c. POST OFFICE NOTICE.
should lie read daily, as changes may occur at
fokEIGN MAILS are forwarded to the ports of
@EsIns @ "a aaiy' ana me scheduIe or closings is ar,
overland transit. For the week ending April /
the last connecting closes will be made from this
TRANSATLANTIC MAILS
FiiIDAf-tbl At ':19 T. NJ. for EUROPE, per SIS
tiers for FRANCE SWITZERLAND, ITALY.
STAN S;a NJ, T0RTUGAL TURKEY. EGYPT and BRIT
AT 9:15 PM for FRANCE. swTTzERLAND
ITAlni a 1,;,,SI!, SIAN, PORTUGAL, TURKEY, EGYPT
FROM \eT ,.,i; x@Tkr via hayre Letters for other
mandie,'' tci At II: :0S PM for SETHERIeANDs
direct. per SIS Rotterdam. from New York via
terdnn te At ii:05 P.M' for ITALY rge eer Hos-
Ems. from New York, via Naples Letters must
SoRwAY Direct per SIS Tbingvaiia' iD' from M xew i9r
Yore Letters must s be directed Per Thingvana'
sailing from New Yors on TUESDAYS take prImted
matter: etc. for GERMANY and specially ad-
dressed printed matter. etc. for other parts Of
American and White Star steamers sailing from
New York Wednesdays German steam"rs from
New York on Thursdays and ('rnard French nrd
German steamers from New York GU Satur,t,ys
which they sdyerIsed to 1 carry y ms for
MAILS FOR SoGTH AND CENTRAL AMERICA
FRIDAY-tc) At Hes PM for Ia PLATA
S9TNFEs SeT 3arE dFse, S It Prf % s rM hesna R@ f@R
tci At Hes PM for FoRTT'NE ISTtXD IA
T9wN per a'Asii tiene 'ISTBsNA sISTI Sa and GREY
for COSTA RICA must b. dire@'Sd per ienc lsI,eFs
Gao alsc sAvNNrIIa sod caPTa m ,Gs>, sTa ttRA Iar
IS Hildur f-or, NNrr York via C1rracao &C., At
11:n5 PM for NUFvIrAS. GIRARA and RtRk
Gao per Ella. FROM New Ynrk tri A. II ~
PM. for NASSAU. SANTIAGO and MANZANHJO
NJ. for JAMAICA. rer sfeam.r from Pnjlas Irhis
tc' A. 1i;o3 p ~ for 81. KITS. ,.T ADEI ot'pE.
HARrINIQIE sud Ir.Ai ERARA. Ter s.s Is.isman.
from New y ork-
srNnAY- q, At 19;@o M. for NASSAU. Mp.
per steamer from Miami Fla. t,D Al Ic:n0 VI
for ST PIERRE-NIot ELnN. per steamer from
Mails for NEwFo:NDLAND. ty rail 20 North
Sydney and thence via steamer, ci..s here dsilv
except Sunday. ~ 1900 NJ. and Sundays only
Mails for MIoyELoN by rail to Boston ,pa
thence via steamer. close here daily at s:l5
Mails for MEXICO overland close here daily at
CI-RX NAILS close here VIA Pert Tamps. Fla
SUNDAYS Wednesdays. Thursdays and Fridays ut
Via Miami Fla Mondays, Tuesdays and Sat.
TPANSPACITIC GA.LS.
Mails for CHINA. JAPAN and HAWAII per IS
Nippon Marn. from San Franeseo, elCse here daily
M.s Ss for N Cnfxs III % aaJ AEI fr2 q x rmr
cf Japan, from SanccuFcr. close here daily at 635
Nails ~ .or 1PsTR&1T2 s s tezcept tscse for West
Austrsl.a WHICH a, are vaTicd via Europe, NEW
ZE,LAND. HAWAII. FIJI ard SAMOAN IS
siose here daily at 6:S5 Pm. after March So and
Mails for the SOCIETY ISLANDS. Der ship City
Of PapeIif fr"rl San Francisco close here daiy nm
to APRIL -. td)
tal Registered mails close at 1000 AN. same
dsy.
ID Registered mails close at 100 PM same
day.
icl Registered mails close at 600 PM. same
dAy.
,dn Registered Hails ciose ct Goo PM. previous
dsy.
Ihi Registered mails clcse at Goo Pm. previous
Saturday
n.hc5 JAMES L. WfIIETT. Postmaster