The Washington weekly post., 1899-06-27
PILGRIM JOE
He Meets Up with Absalom's Brother
and Gives Him Particulars.

Il
plum tree. on the road TO the town Of
up on spotted hoss and looks me over
fur mint before he asks:
Might yer name be Absalom Johnson,
of the State Of Injianny?"
1T mought be-" says I. "but II don't
jest happen that way on this occashun.
Then We amt promenadin' around the
kentry in s'arch of long-lost brother
whose front name ar Moses
Not skassly, stranger. I'm sorry VI I've
iis2ppiated ye, but L never had brother
Moses and I'm not travelin' about to hunt
up the lost sheep of the family. Lenme
take advantage of this opportunity to OBJ
sarve:
"Conker yerself before ye set out 20
drive 4 hog to market
"The man who seeks TO draw water in 4
basket will allus be thirsty.
Never give a man full credit fur 3ooG-
ness till We hev seen him fall over a
wheelbarrer."
Might that be preachin'?" asks the
stranger as he gifts down and takes seat
On the grass beside me.
1T might" says l, but I'm no preach
er. I'm Jest Undetermined eritter with
d
my own way and speakin' softly and SYM
pathetically to those who sorrer. In other
words, I'm carryin' a pail O. the milk o
human kindness o'er the trackIess desert
O. life, and lettin' leetle slop over here
and there"
And what's the grasshopper a-doin' in
the bottle?"
"Jest stayin' thar. kinder wanted COM
l. ar-1 teLy
him up. I'm also studyin' him as we go
along I'm believin' the grasshopper
would hev got along better in this world
If mankind had understood him better.
Hath any pertickler sorrer Of yer own jest
at present.
II can't say as l hev," he replied. I've
run away from my old woman, lodged the
sheriff, and got hoss for $50 ahead of the
game. 1t don't appear TO me that I've got
any pertickler sorrer to sorrer over.
Then might give ye one" says l.
~ to how?'
"As to yer brother Absalom. was with
him in his last hours yesterday,
Eyer don't mean it?'
Fur sure. | was reposin' on the grass
on 'tother side of the town of Golden Hill
when he Gums along with a saddle on MS
back and a bride in his hand. 1 didn't
make no mistake or yer brother AbsaloEl.
That is, / didn't take him for stray
hoss. He wasn't lookin' none too peart
as he sits down besides me, and so i
seeks to hearten him UP by sayin':
Thar may be a difference. between
crow meat and buZZard, bat if the felleT
who is eatin don't complain, the rest of
US shouldn't kick.
"If natur' had given hcg fur instead
of bristles, she'd hev bin obleeged 10 give
sartin folks four legs instead of two
1T takes just as long 10 tumble down
well as it does to fall upstairs, but some
folks never stop to tigger on those things.
I'VE might Jest as well hey had orange
trees in place OF crabapple, but there
would hey bin jest as much compIainin'
after ;he first year.
''Thems he sayin's that ! said to yer
brother Abs dom, and his face sorter soft
ened and he kinder braeed up, and /
think ne was tryin' 10 shake off his sorrer
when he was interrupted. A crowd Of
critters galloped UP over the road he had
cum. and they wasn't mint layin' hands
on yer brother"
And what was the natur' of their re-
marks2" asks the stranger.
They me1shund that Absalom had
stole hoss and that they was prepared
20 pull him up TO limb of the nearest
tree in good shape and free of all extra
expense As the boss lay dead about a
mile away, and as he had the saddle and
bride with MIN. IL didn't seem necessary
fur yer brother Absalom to waste much
breath over tryin' to prove his inner
cense."
But ye did yer best 10 chirk him I'M
take it?'
Il did. While they was fixin' the rome
and selectin' a tree. | patted Yer hrother
on the back and spoke encouragingIy OF
the prospects OF gittin' out of the kentrv
on deadhead pass. As II was a cool day
end he seemed 10 be suf.erin' with cbfIs
IL cum IN handy TO guarantee that he
would md the next climate a hotter one
Yes, dld all l could 10 chirk AbsaIom
up and make him believe the change was
Iur the best, and he seemed thankful m
me" -
les Absalom was a grateful kuss I" |
unused the stranger; 'and / hey 70 doubt |
ne thought well of ye. Did he deny steal. !
in the hoss?'
l think ne said he simply borrowed IL" |
mat was Ike him again He never |
dld admire harsh terms And did ,bsv
give hlm a chance TO make any last re- |
maTkST'
ihey gave him five minutes. but don't |
think ne used over three. II looked N me |
as II ne didn't want TO delay the crowd /
any longer than necessary TO cuss every |
man Of en- high and low and tell 'eu "a |
90 ahead and do their durnedes, / can't |
say that his language belonged n the /
Classics. bat II weighed Is ounces TO the
pound, and was plainly understood by an. |
When ne got through with the crowd he |
asked me fur stun of my sayin's TO belp /
grease the place he was g0in to slide out l
on, and stepped forward and said:
III isn't whether man is hung or aies |
IN his bed, but what his friepds engraYe /
on his tombstone that he IL remembered /
by.
Most men travel farther and use more /
powder 10 Kill a rabbit than 10 bring down
A lion
II Was the ass who first miStook his /