The Topeka state journal., 1899-09-29
HUMOR OF THE DAY.


"a sanity old farmer came around to
the house the other day and sold my
wife three dozen alleged fresh eggs
7 suppose you had the laugh on her
in great shape
NO; the eggs were all right
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Widow Jackson-W'y, it was like dis
I way, parson. My husband went up on
de hill top to crap for rain and got
Z struck by lightning.
! Parson Johnson-But yo' mustn't lose
faith in prayer. sister.
! Widow Jackson (complacently)-Oh
/ no, parson! Dat proves de Lord do
{ answer prayer. Not always in de way
/ we ask for it, but in a way dat'n be
! best for all hands.-Judge.
| Typograp aphical.-AIr. Newlywed Cbit-
J terly)-''You used to say was a non
Mrs. Newiywed- Wei. I still think
you are a very small type Judge.
And you broke off the engagement"
said one young man.
Yes, not brutally, you know. But I
I managed it,"
'HoW?"
Told her what my salary is."-Tit-
Bits.
The Flight of Time.-NIrs. Neighbors
How do you like your new servant
girl 90 Mrs. Suburbs-''Why we haven't
with US for nearly four days. Chicago
News.
An Editors Luck.-Society Reporter
Mrs. Skihigh complains that the pic
ture we printed does not look a bit like
her" Editor-"That's lucky. We can
use it for some one else then."-New
York Weekly.
Did Not Claim Them-summer
BOarder-I thought you wrote me that
you had no mosquitoes. Joshua Hay
Wall 1 hain't. THAR be more er less
of 'em GROUND here, but I don't claim
'em.-Ohio State Journal.
Some welI-meanin' folks" said I'm
Gle Eben, lis so skayht foh fear dey
won't glib de devil is due dat dey clean
ed human folks has claims to atten-
ton Washington Star.
Menu What's this!" ex-
claimed the hungry man. You have no
less than half a dozen dishes here
styled "a la dossier.' - Yes said the
waiter affably. That's because we are
not allowed to tell what's in EN-
Washington Star.
Turning the Tables.-'I hope my ex-
planatiOn is satisfactory said Mr..
YOunghusband, as he concluded a long
narrative as to why he had been de-
tanned downtown until l a. m well"
yawned Mrs Younghusband your ex-
as father used to make.-Chicago News.
Poor Mrs Wylie! She's perfectly
miserable. Her husband has turned out
a perfect disappointment What.
Wylie? Why, he's reformed! should
think she'd be happy. He has become
thoroughly domesticated-stays at
home all the time That's just it.
She fell in love with him because he
was so gay, and always on the go.''-
Harper's Bazar.
So Feminine-Clara-'' have my pho
tograph taken every three years;
think it's so interesting" Fanny-"Oh,
whatever do you do with them alp
Pick-Me-Up.
Tommy-'Im going to begin common
fractions tomorrow, ma" Mother
You shall do nothing of the kind,
Tommy. You shall study the very best
fractions they have in the school,
Crypt.
He-"The great trouble with Gabley
is that he talks too much" She
me he scarcely said a word" He-"Oh.
he is too much of a gentleman to inter-
rupt."-Tit-Bits.
Would Outgrow It.-"Yes, I want a
salesman" said the manager of the
store, but you are too old. IF you
were twenty-five years younger would
give you the place in a minute shall
1 come again." asked the gray-haired
applicant, when I am in my second
childhood ?''-ChicagO Tribune.