New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1899-05-31
ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKE.

When written, though colomondeley.
VIII puzzle the average daytalr. ,ro-,,
The Spanish War IL becoming ancient history
THE Nortonvllle (Kan) News says that the other
day A mover passed through the town with a big
SPANISH flag painted on his wagon cover but
nobody roared or talked OF hanging him.
Resources OF Genius-"I need one more line to
mi this first column" called out the foreman ot
the Boomtown Thunderbolt who YVES making up
the forms on the afternoon OF tho day or puolica-
On that editorial on Or Briggs" shouted Editor
Clueston from his sanctum In response change
the word 'vagary in the last line, to superdenomi-
nationalism. "-(Chicago Tribune
Some one In Boston the other day started the
story that there was premium OF 10 cents on the
new one-dollar silver certificate. Series A, ana
that for some unknown reason the Government
nad called IN the entire issue AS result cred
Nous ncople gathered together all the new one
dollar hills they could get and go rapidly did the
circulation of the issue decrease that the ofhcials
at the sub-Treasury felt called upon to announce
not only that the premium story was untrue but
hat the Government had intention of with
drawing the certificates
Making Money.-"Makng money! Well. should
say u he |a' MAKING '''''
..s t'.ir 4 1idn't know he knew anything about
u .tIIo doesn't He merely bought lot OF cheap
ones and then began trying. TO learn TO play
Ureeiisng nightly in his nat"
but / don't see how that helps him 70 sell
His nelghbors are buying them as a matter OF
relf- protection "-(Chicago POST
"rroedor, the Giant Of the Orient" Is the name
OF an eight-page tr-weekly published IN Mania
nv three young college men. The publication
avs THE Philadelphia Record" began hve
months ago and is the first Of Its kind In the
pbunplnes. The copy OF April l5 from Dr. w.
Parsons Read of this city, who Is first surgeon on
tina hospital ship Relief, has Just been received
here 1t contains bright descriptions OF the island
camnaigns while a lengthy account OF the trip OF
the hospital ship. which arrived at Manila on
Anru IL is also contained in the same Issue
.yyhy do they have those glass cases with the
axe hammer. crowbar, etc, IN on thsse cars
asked a traveller on the railroad TO New orK,
va On window open" replied the facetous man
-Yonkers Statesman
Among the harng announcements that dishsure
the vacant places along Commonweath-ave. be-
,onA the BEACON Boulevard" says The Boston
,-ra~scrInt " rs one calling attention the size
renutatiou and attractions Of the Windsor Hotel
Nev.York city A little two months ago It
was conspicuous as an advertisement 1t now reads
ike epitaph.
81 laugh you to scornr' she cried, dehantiy
The Villain gl!ttered as to his eyes with nste'
Now 1ienevieSe shuddered; for she already looked
like a sack OF wheat In the new styles'-'Detrolt
Journal
An eccentric Michigan man who died few days
ago was buried in coffin painted a bright red
which for two years he had kept in his dooryard
marking the spot where he wished TO be buried
He also had a headstone prepared. on which was
inscribed the following Here lies the BODY or
william Decker. who always paid 100 cents on the
dollar"
Local Prejudlce.-"They say Chicago man hos
made a discovery which will double the length or
human life. - .,,-.
fuzzy. . .,
YES Wonderful Idea, isn't it,
81, No, surnrised al the discovery. That Is
made every now and then. What can't see Is why
a man should want 70 live twice as long in Chi-
cago"-(Washlngton Star.