Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1899-02-06

that'll take this OF coal barge in be-
yant an sink it an save us tn
thruble iv dhrownin' on our way
homer" Loot Hobson says, says he:
Here I am, cap says he. I'll take it
in he says, an seal up tn hated
CASTLES, he says so that they can
niver get out he says. But, he says,
I'll lave a hole FIR thin to get out
they want tC git OUT he says. An he
took some other la-ads-I f'rget their
names-they wasn't heroes, anyhow,
but was Wurrkin be tn day-an' he
went in in his underclothes, SOS not
to spoil his suit, an tn CASTLES hurled
death an destruction on him an it
niver touched him no more thin it old
him firm himself an locked him up in
tn polls station an fed him tn best
they knew how, an he wint on lee
teher tour an here he is. Be hivlns,
l think he's more iv hero now than
liver he was. I'd stan up befure a
cross-eyed Spanish gunner an take his
shootin' without mask mesilf, but
I'd shy hard iv amy OF heifer come
up an begun t. nose around iv me.
"On tn flure iv the Merrimac, in his
light undherclothes, Loot Hobson was
a sthrong, foolish man. On tn stage
wimen that'd kiss tn Injun in fr-ront
iv a see-gar sthore if he didn't carry
q tonmyhawk, he's still foolish, but
not sthrong. IT'S so with all heroes.
Napoleon Bonypart, the impror iv tn
Fr-rinch, had many carryin's on, I've
whin JaWn Sullivan wasn't in the
r-ring he was no encyclopedia FIR in
telligence No wan thried to kiss him,
though. They knew betther.
"An' Hobson'll larn. He's young
yet, the Loot is, an he's goin' out TO
tn Philippians to wurruk f'r Cousin
George. Cousin George is no nero, an
tisn't on record that amy wan liver
thried to scandalize his good name be
kissin' him. I'd as lave, if I was a
foolish woman, which, thanks be, I'm
not, hug Whitehead torpedo as Cous-
roof iv his boat smokin' a good see
gar, an wondhrin' how nanny iv tn
babies named afther him'll be in tn
pinitinchry be tn time he gets back
home. Up comes me brave Hobson.
Who ARE We, disturbin' me quite 2
says Cousin George. ''I'm hero.
says the loot. Are We, faith?' says
Cousin George. Well he says, ]
can't do anything FIR We in that line,
he says, All tn hero jobs on this
boat he says, is completely filled, he
says, be mesilf, he says. I like to
see tn wurruk we'll DONE he says,
So, he says, I don't thrust it to amy
wan, he says. with tn AID iv a
small boy who can shovel more love
letthers an pothry overheard than
amy wan ever see,' he says, I'm
able to clane up me hero business ,e-
fure noon ivry day. he says. What's
we're name?' he says. 'Hobson, says
the loot. 'Niver herd iv ye, says
Cousin George. 'Where'd We wurruk
last?' Why says the loot, I'm tn
man that sunk tn ship, he says, an
I've been kissed be hundreds iv wo-
men at home he says. Is that SOP
says Cousin George. Well, I don't be-
lieve in sinkin' me own ship he says.
'Whin I'm lookin' FIR a divarsion iv
that kind I sink somebody else's, he
says. "Tis cheaper. AS FIR tn other
thing he says, 'th' less We say about
that tn betther, he says. If some iv
these beauchious Ph'lippeen bellies ar
round here hears he says, that ye're
in that line, they may call on We to
give We a chaste salute he says, an,
he says, 'f'rget,' he says, TO take III
see CARS out iv their mouths he says,
'Ye destroyed a lot iv COAL We tell
me- he says. DO ye,' he says, go
down stairs now an shovel up ton
or two iv it, he says 'Afther which,
he says we can roll kag iv beer into
me bedroom he says, 'f'r it's dhry
wurruk settin' up here watchin' expan-
sion expand he says.
That's what Cousin George'n say
to tn Loot. An whin tn Loot comes
back he won't be hero amy more,
an if amy woman thries to kiss him
he'll climb a three. Cousin George'll
make a man iv him. IT'S kicks, not
kisses, that makes men heroes"
"Well, maybe ye're Fright" said Mr..
Hennessy. "He's nawthin' but a kid
annyhow-no older than my Oldest
boy, an know what fool he'd be if
amy wan asst him to be more iv fool
thin he is. HobsonI1 be famous, no
matther what foolish things he does. "
'T dinnaw," said Mr.. Dooley. "It
was headed FIR him, but I'm afraid, as
the bullyard players d say, flames
been kissed off Chicago Journal.