Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1899-03-24
A MANS USE.

"The longer 1 live the more unneces-
sary seems to me the companionship of
man,, " the first vice president was saying
emphatically. Except for a few print
tive uses, the world might very comfort
ably progress without him. Certainly he
is 10 aid to society, no particular good in
the daily offices of life, nc strong factor in
its daily pleasures, no.
Il beg your PARDON" interrupted the
charter member. "Do you ever 60 into a
candy store?"
"The question is irrelevant, but I do,
madam; occasionally I do"
do you go generally with a gentle
man or aloneS"
MADAM, as 1 before stated, I go
times into a candy store, but not often,
and always unaccompanied. In fact, I
find such difficulty in getting waited upon
that
II knew It'll" gasped the charter men,
Der exultantly. II knew It'll To attend
defenseless ladies in candy shops is one of
the first uses Of man. I've gone alone.
I've wandered to the bonbon case and be-
sought a we'll dressed damsel behind it to
plb IHo ~ Il pOullu VI ludTEOuS RldC6. CH6
never heard me-
"Then patiently I have moved on to
the chocolate division and ordered some
Of the dusky mixed, but the maiden fair
was invariably waiting with lavish smiles
upon some bewildered man and was ask
ing him how he would like the box tied
with heliotrope ribbons or with pink! So
I have progressed from marrons to pepper
mint drops and then back to molasses
candy and burnt almonds.
perhaps at the end Of the line l found
a new girl, all unaccustomed as yet to
the business, and she would deign to fill
me a box with exactly the sort of sweets
that l didn't want"
II confess that is a good deal like my
own experience. But what of it?'' asked
the vice president impatiently.
"Simply that / found a remedy. Now
when / want to get a box of candy in a
hurry l just coerce n of my male friends
or relatives into accompanying me. I'M
mediately one of the pretty girl clerks
comes smiling up and we are served in
stanter! Anyhow, I've discovered another
vital and important use for man. We need
him every time we go into q candy store!"
"Of course she does" whispered the
vice president savagely, "for then hetakes
the check and she takes the candy. No
wonder she has good times and money in
the bank!"
REALLY" said the Oldest member,
beaming over her glasses, II wonder if
that doesn't explain an odd little expert
ence of miner"
"Tell it, tell it,"
well, a few months ago, having come
from an exhausting club session, I met
my brother-in-law and we went into one
Of those nice candy shops and soda water
places all in one. / thought l would take
a cup of chocolate or beef tea to refresh
me, but my brother-in-law saw a sign an
nouncing milk punch, and suggested that
we try some, 1t was good. 1t tasted of
milk and it tasted of something else. I
liked it.
"a few days later Clarissa and I went
in together and ordered milk punch. 1t
came-and it tasted just like milkl I was
disappointed, hut I know how things will
occasionally 60 wrong, SO I said never a
word. In the meantime l had told several
other women about the delicious milk
punches at KS. They went after them,
but told me that they really couldn't see
what I had raved over. The beverage SEEM
ed to them a good deal like milk dashed
with a little nutmeg and sugar.
"Again and again have I sought the
same counter for the same beverage, but
never again have I found 1t as I did with
my brother-in law"
The club sat silent for a minute or two,
and then began an ominous musical
swelling through the ranks and increas-
ing in volume until it passed from "Let's
go and try for ourselves" to "We will go
at once."
And they did 60. They invaded that
soda water place, occupying every seat
around the counter and every spidery met
al chair about the hard little round tables
40 shining and suggestive of artificial
teeth. As one woman they ordered milk
punchl 1t came, and it was milk There
was a flash Of comprehension from men,
Der to member, and then the plant began
at the top and was taken up by each along
the line, exactly as soldiers answer to the
roll call.
II want spirits in mine!"
II want spirits in mine!'
II want spirits in mine!" from the stern
orotund Of the president to the frightened
squeaking treble Of the newest member.
The individual hairs stood on end upon
the heads of the white jacketed and apron
ed young men behind the counter, and
the girl clerks covered over against the
mirrors so that their reflection would be
doubled, and they should feel the safety
Of numbers.
"Are they escaped from the asylum
''Are they clean crazy?"
"Have they been d~rinkingP" passed
from terrified mouth to mouth.
The proprietor Of the store came along.
The Oldest member was nudged by the
president, and she replied to his inquiry:
"Sir, I want a milk punch, and I want
1t just the same as the one I got here with
my brother-in-law I WANT But her
voice trailed off into a broken whisper Of
alright.
The eyes Of the proprietor frightened
with understanding. He tasted a little
of the repudiated punch, put it down with
a wry face and called to his white aproned
minions, Here, fix these punches up in a
gentlemanly way for these ladies'"
In an aside he said disgustedly, "Oh,
these old gray headed ONE who drink"
But the grumblers got their rightful
punch, and it was the kind In which the
spirits moved. For in one instance com
planning brought what was desired, and to
this the members point as justification
for the fundamental policy Of their organ
ization.
1t was q triumph because a case in
mimi WhorQw 0mau oxactad tho Same pnh-