West Virginia argus. [volume] (Kingwood, W. Va.) 1877-1946, 1899-01-19

ANoh' Nihe since the IAfhnus AuNn.
cate announced that Jr6 Ltp>eonb
had rea,ei column iu that paper far
the special benefit of Dsacoa Rrouu.
Rev. kildow ct al and had pai siioo
cash in hand for sas.c aud here b. che
hrst insmllmeot FROM the KICKER sfa
recent issue. published undsr tbe above
headlines aud printed as below
-
''Speakin' of the late cold snap said
the man from Beverly, '.rcm,nds
me OF tho one in lSa!, when A frose th.
>npiSe fast in my chunacy aud had a.,
blow II out with dynamits before the
old woman c, uid Ect breakfast. tel
you that was a cold snap"
Cold, nothin," exclaimed the Demo.
crat froai Bald Knob of Preston
Along in tho year '63 - powerful cold
night camS along My breath froze
fast in my throat and thought
would smother to death, but munaged
To pull through by taking a large
quaatity OF apple jack OF tho Preston
brand. tell you IL was n powerful
''skeery" time. Along about two
o'clock In the mawnin' looked out of
the winder and saw u great dire along
the creek. tell you was powerful
skeert thought tho day OF Judgment
had come aud | begin to think OF all
tho ornruess / had done for the last
40 years, but the fire just stayed along
the creek and ! finally mustered up
courage enough TO 20 out and investi-
gate and what do you think was the
matter Why, blamed IL IL wasn't 80
cold that the ice was freezin' so fast
that the friction set il on hre and
burned IL Oft as fast as IL froze on the
creek tell you this was powerful
cold snap"
At this juncturo the man from Ran
dolph said he guessed he'd have 20 go
hons and write his will and die, as 10
wasn't safe to i've in this world OF
liars any longer
rHE PREACHER EDITOR GETS INTo
| TRoUBLE AGAIN.
Just before the vote WINS taken on
the county seat question in Randolph
county, the Rev. preacher-cditOr OF the
|
other things offered To marry any
young man to his best girl for throo
pounds OF ginseng De had several
calls right away aud had collected sew
cral pounds of prosperity" not backed
10y good govern nent and wanting
sorne groceries one day he hied himself
TO the nearest grocery store and made
| L. Ia. 81. Al.
examining the stuff found out IL was
| poke root aud came very nearly having
the prcachor-editor arrested for pass
.ng counterfeit-gIseng. The preacher
ei tor has fll. n back on the old re-
! liable c1on skin and each and every
coon skin has TO have rings around the
All before IL IL a legal tender with the
9reac!. editor.
pEAeoS BRowN GErs CHARITABLE, Bur
OSE DAY Is ENoUaH FOR nnL
During the recent cold snap several
charitabiy inclined persons of King
WOO /, rot together and concl dei they
would saw wood for widows and
orphnus and invited Deacon Brown to-
accompany them on their rounds which
! the Deacon cOnse ented TO do as readily
as he ever told campai n lie. ono OF
| tie Dehcon's subscribers knowing the
value VI timber under Repub lean adj
ministration, put the Deacon to split.
ting mp black Ruia log with forty
pound maui and au iron wedge. The
| Dsacon pounded away until the high
/ hour Of npOR, and was invited over 70
he philan nthropisCs house for dinner
The pretty and yiyacious daughter OF
the host nearly went into rnptures over
the great beads OF Precipitation that
brow of the Deacon aud exclaimed
1t must be awful tiresonc, Mr. Brown,
to hit that horrible iron wedge with
that awful maui that papa gave you 2?
mo. MisS or-ny dear young lady; il
is not that" exclaimed the Deacon,
taking of n bam Of ,neat on his plate
and swipng two loaves of bread and
sticIing three napkins ia his pocket
and swiping half dozen silver spoons,
carrying out the princip plies Of the Demo
cratic party that everything must be
free, III is not the pounding on the
wedge that caused the beads OF pres
pirat,on 10 stand on my noble brow,
but tire lif,ing up OF the DUN things.
Al last accounts The Deacon had 90 be
gotten sut ~ bed with block and
tackle.