davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-05-05
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

There's many slip after the cup
touches the lip.
Wooden heads should produce burn
ing thoughts, but they don't.
Love laughs at locksmiths, but it
smiles at the goldsm:ths.
When a man disputes with fool, the
fool is doing the same thing.
Energy sometimes brings success, but
success always brings energy.
Fewer proposals would undoubtedly
result in fewer matrimonial failures.
A base ball player seldom strains at a
snat, but he frequently struggles with
a fly.
A young man naturally uses a choice
expression when he asks girl to be-
come his wife.
The man who has nothing to say isn't
always conscious of it until after he
has tried to say it.
A man will deride the Decent cigar
that is presented to him, but he never
murrnurs about the nickel one he buys.
If there is anything in the theory Of
the survival Of the fittest lot Of people
we know must have been overlooked
Chicago Daily News.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-05-05

ggg CNN BE CURED
T-Hf <--T ~ -anp1e viii ne sent free
on rec Il i cet ~ cover expense of mail
iny Md ress n. r. Z Dts on, BOX No. 1900
yENE L. WIS.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-05-05
MEDICAL WORK
FOR men, Free

SEND NO MONEY. Ny new revised scientific
work treating on every weakness and disease PEI
culiar to men is Just froIa the press. Every man.
no matter what his occur alton position in life
will find this work unlike anything ever published
to the healthy and strong or to the weak and
broksn-down. While the edition lasts will send
sne prepaid, to every man who writes for it. This
edition is limited and those desiring copy must
fishing Department .. It's CLARK st., N E. Cor.
Monroe, Chicago. Illinois.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-05-05
Mans Future Habitation.

cit is the general teaching of Catholic
theology" says a priest, that among
the scenes and places of mans future
habitation will be this Planet, not as we
have it now, with its winters and sum-
mers, with its biting winds and ener-
waiting atmosphere, but as it will be
after the great day Of judgment, when,
according to the clear teaching of holy
scripture, the world is to be deluged by
fire, and in the purifying elements of
fire the world is to be renewed and re-
generated The world will then be
transformed into scene Of changeless
and surprising loneliness, a fit dwelling
for glorified man."
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-05-05
Want London Drinks.

Londoners consume 275, 900, 600 gall
Ions of water year. They do not drink
all of it, and what they do drink is not
always taken clear, as they use 25, 0O0,-
900 pounds of tea as we'll. They do put
down 1853, 900, 600 gallons of beer, how
ever, as we'll as 4,4OO, 900 gallons of
spirits, besides $4,000, 900 gallons of
mineral waters
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-05-05

Scotland seems strange place to find
a statue of Abraham Lincoln, and yet
there is one there. 1t adorns a monu-
ment erected in old Cation burying
ground, Edinburgh, to the memory Of
the Scottish Americans who fought in
the American civil war.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-05-05
SESSIONS LAST WEEK
Burnett Tells of the Rush OF
Wisconsin Legislative Work.
ANTI-PASS is IN DEAD EARNEST.

People Who Say 1t Won't Stop Free Rides
Are Misinformed-Th Northwestern
Life " Must Pay Big Taxes $4,000 In
crease Annually)-Railroads Escape and
C.. A. Statesman.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-05-05
Rough on the General.

A French actor named Hyacinthe
once illustrated the saying, Discretion
is the batter part of valor." 1t was in
the month of June, and a company Of
the national guard, Of which Hyacinthe
was sergeant was engaging a body of
insurgents behind barricade at the
other end Of short street. One of the
insurgents, in particular, from a corner
of the barricade was making remark
ably effective practice on the assailants.
At that moment up came general.
1--WE must get him to expose himself"
said the general. zone of you must
Chamber up on top of the barricade;
then, when our friend at the other end
of the street shows himself to take aim,
two or three of you fetch him down. Up
with you, sergeant"
BEG your pardon, general, but, per-
haps, you see, an insignificant non-com-
missioned officer like myself may have
no attraction for him. But handsome,
distinguished man like you, in that styl-
ish and becoming uniform-he'd be
more than mortal if he could resist the
temptation. I'll lend you hand, gen.
era"
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-05-05
The REPORTER, Edgerton. Wis.
DR.. Humphreys

Specifics act directly upon the disease,
without exciting disorder in other parts
of the system. They Cure the Sick.
NO, CURES. PRICES.
1-Fevers, COMPOSITIONS, Infiammations. "a
2-WOrms, Worm Fever, Worm Colic... .25
3-Tcething, Collie, Crying, Wakefulness rs
4-Diarrhea, of Children or Adults..... rs
7-COughs, Colds, Bronchitis. ............ rs
S-Neuralgia. Toothache, Faceache..... rs
9-Headach Sick Headache, Vertigo. rs
1O-Dyspepsia, Indigestion, Weak Stomach.25
Unsurpassed or Painful Periods. rs
12-Whites. Too Profuse Periods. ........ .25
13-CrOup, Laryngitis, Hoarseness..... .25
14-Salt Rheum, Eryspelas. Eruptions.. .25
15-Rheumatism Rheumatic Pains. rs
16-Malaria, ChiIls, Fever and Ague.... .25
19-Catarrh, Influenza, Cold in the Head rs
2O-WhOoping-C Cough .................... .25
27-Kidney Diseases ...................... 30
2S-NervOus Debility. ....................1 LOO
3O-Urinary Weakness. Wetting Bed. .25
77-Grip. Hay Fever. ........................ rs
DIR. Humphreys Manual of all Diseases at your
Druggists or Mailed Free.
Sold by druggists sent on receipt or price,
Humphreys Med. Co., Cor. William & John Sts,
New York.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-06-05

question TO the rightfulness of the
Monroe doctrine, nor anticipate. nor con-
sent to the anticipation by other nations,
in connection with this conference or 9TH
e1wise, of any contingency in which our
paramount rights on this hemisphere
may be made the subject of controversy
so as to become a possible subject of ar
bitration.
On the face of the proposals recently
published as emanating from certain of
the powers looking toward the establish
ment of a permanent arbitration tribunal
there is no apparent limitation which
would apply to our position In this regard.
But it must be plainly understood that all
questions in that behalf are regarded by
this nation as of nature which involves
the national honor and the national SOW
ereignty. There is no American nation
represented at The Hague save this. We
speak for the political ard autonomous
rights of our sister American republics;
and we must be understood as insisting
pean nations from this continent for pur-
poses of settlement or colonization, and
on our determination to withstand all
invasion of the sovereign rights Of those
republics by other nations.
1t would be better that the United
States should at once withdraw from that
conference than that there should be any
doubt left as to our position in these
respects The Monroe doctrine must be
kept intact in all its meaning and import.
Our present position In the Philippines
may give color to our willingness to waive
or modify our claims as an American ma
ton, as promulgated by President Mon
rec. Our representatives at The Hague,
if they have any uncertainty on this
score, as we'll as the administration which
appointed them, can readily find that we
stand today precisely where we stood
when President Cleveland served his no.
tice on Britain rs to the consequences of
her proposed aggressions on the sovereign
rights of Venezuela, and that We intend
as nation to maintain that position.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-06-05
AT THE THEATERs.
METROPOLITAN

Inc NELL company opens the summer
season at the Metropolitan opera house
tonight in Lloyd g. Rosenfeld'S four-act
comedy. 1.-THE Senator" originally pre-
sented with great success by the famous
comedian, William H. Crane. Special
scenery has been painted for this pro-
duction. and 1t is promised that all the
arts known to stagecraft will be utilized
to insure the success of the opening
week of the stock season. The full
strength of the Neill company will be
required in 1.-THE Senator" and 1t will
serve as an admirable vehicle to bring
out the new members as well as to re-
new acquaintance with old friends in the
organization. Mr. Neill will appear in the
title role, made famous by Mr. Crane,
and Miss Chapman as Mrs. Hillary, a
dashing young lady lobbyist, the part
played by Georgia Drew Barrymore in
the original production
1t Is the intention of both Mr. Neill and
the management of the METROPOLITAN to
make the coming season the most bril-
liant and successful In the history of this
city Every play presented by the Neill
company will be given an elaborate pro-
auction, scenically and otherwise. and no
trouble or expense will be spared to give
81: raul first-class shows at popul RI
prices.
The cast for 1.-The Senator" as it will
senator Hannibal Rivers James NeilI
Alexander Armstrong, secretary Of
state ...................J C. Mylott
count Ernest Won Strahl. an Aus
trian diplomat 800. .Herschel Mayall
Ling Sing. secretary Of the Chinese
legation Joseph B. Eyerham
hichard Vance, the senator's private
secretary ........George Bloomquist
1t George Schuyler. Robert Morris
Isaiah Sharpless. an ex-congress
man .......... Emmett ShackeIford
oiias lehman. relic of the days
" Weoster ........... Fred J. Butler
hrastus. the senator's colored serv-
NJ ant Frederick Wallace
Nlaoel lehman ................. Lila .Vane
D. schuyler .............Agnes MAYNARD
Tns;o A h .:.......AngeIa Dolores
JOSIE her stepdaughter .Sandol Milliken
MIS-. HILLARY, susceptible young
"loow ............ Edythe Chapman
oportlng Life closed the season and
successful engagement at the Metro
politan last night.
Col; William Thompson and the Bos-
Ton Lyric company arrived in ST. Paul
yesterday. q III
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-06-05
THE LESSON OF SPAIN.

The formal resumption of friendly dip
ment and that Of Spain on Saturday was
attended by formalities which had their
really affecting side. Nor was it wholly
as depressing an occasion for the rep
resentatives Of SPANS buried greatness
on this continent as it might have been
without the sidelight Of the little trans
action with Germany in the Caroline ISL
ands.
Looking back on the military and ma
val events Of the past year it seems i'm
possible to understand how the power of
the United States could have been re-
garded so unfavorably by intelligent ma
tons like Germany and France, and, in
deed, European nations generally, as to
convey the idea that the result Of the
impending war with Spain could have
been otherwise than it was. No intelli-
gent American doubted that the result
would have been any less sharp, decisive
and destructive Of Spanish prestige. The
event has taught many things to the
world concerning this overgrown ma
tional baby, the United States Of
America, that were not dreamed Of.
While those events have placed us in
the forefront of the worlds progress, 1t
Is sadly instructive study which the
present situation Of Spain presents to
view. The glory Of that nation in the his
tory of Christian civilization and prog
ress Is second to that of no nation ex-
tant. 1t was through the benign inter-
ference of her sovereigns that this great
continent was made accessible. 1t was
through the bravery Of her people, as
well as the wisdom of her rulers, In
great measure, that the overthrow Of the
Mohammedan power In Europe was made
possible. Always excepting France In the
days of Charlemagne and Napoleon, no
nation ever reached higher pinnacle Of
national greatness than did Spain under
her emperor-king, Charles the Great.
Having reached the very apex Of power
in the affairs of nations, her descent has
been gradual but steady for nigh three
hundred years. She has never shown her
ability to arrest. even temporarily, that
downward movement. With the opening
of the twentieth century. the Spanish
nation, which in the fifteenth and six
teenth was par excellence the colonial
power Of the world. has in that character
disappeared forever from the worlds
history.
Those who would inform themselves
of the forces which operated to work
the decadence of the Spanish nation will
find deep interest and enjoyment in the
perusal of Victor Hugo's splendid
tragedy. don Caesar de Bazan." And.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-06-05
PAW AND THE PUP.
Chicago Times-HeraId

NHlcdSO IlmeS-Herald.
Ole OF the men at the Stoar gave nav
upp the other Day. It's a Bull pupp
with one Black laig Behind. paw ssys
1t s goin to gro up to Be a Cos+lv TO-.
anu he wouldn't talk Is dolers fer If
Iite now that's Jist a Bluff tho T gess
wa sea when he Brot 1t home:
IA" you must be crazy to bring that
klnq OF Bruit around This house Won
no ,, never liked them kind of Dawgs','
maj all rite" paw says. You
wait: sum mite when Burglars gifts in
the mouse and He Chaws the pants offn
fambly.' i Al INC
oo HaW dldent say no more and T CESS
she mite let US keep the Pupp.
WY But paw was mad a few DAYS ago
Wneh lie seen WHARF folks Had worn a
paln acrost our lawn jist to save a Few
steps goin around the corner. Paw
sowed it all over with grass Saads "
Whlle ago and Thare they was perfectly
fcoIln IL. so paw Druv Some posts in
round. 'noiii 0o
some people never Have time to take
lew extry steps," he says.
Last mite when paw let the pupp out
10 play it wouldent Come in when We
called 1t so after while paw saws:
Here Dawgie, Dawgie. Daweia rom
Iouno 1t Don't Yo no enuft to come in
When your called?' -
1t was Gittin purity Dark and nav saws
klnd OF Low so paw couldent hear:
II Wouldent make me weap very
much If the Homely Thing would RIM
away ana never come back no more"
so purity soon it was gittin Dark and
Boy went around the corner and the
PUP was Down that way and when the
Boy got past he herd Him Whistle and
they was A Little White streak scooted
acrost the lawn and the pupp was Gone
Ihen paw he jumped up and saws:
Blame that Boy I'll show him" and
away He went.
CESS He must Forgot the Wire. Emmy
way ne run acrost where the path was
wore AMI the Furst thing we seen He
was up in the Air Grabbin at things what
ne Couldent seem to git hold Of.
When me and NAV Got to where He
wuz the pup Was Sitten thare lookin
at Him kind of sorrowful But paw did
emit take no interest in Him then.
After we Got paw and the pupp in the
mousse thot l would Have a Joak on
paw so I says:
Some folks is always to Bizzy to Take
a few eXtry steps,"
Gee fer about a mint seen NV finish
In Seven Different Langwidges
They say They are people what can't
never take a Joak when it's on Them
anu peleeVe IT, George 8
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-06-05
THE NEWsBOY.

Journalism rules the world today.
Nations read sensations of the hour;
Extras tell 1t all from grave to gay,
Governments are bound within its
power;
But the force that moves the press
Is the newsboy numberless.
Long before we scan the printed page.
Newsboys cries have let the secret out;
Hustling, shouting. climbing car and
stage,
Blocking pathways, gathering all about.
Till we're f1ercely stirred to know
II these things are really so.
"All about the murderi" was the cry,
Then a tiny humpbacked form / saw;
Texas Bill was shot in Arkansas"
Laughed the imp in merry glee-
Buy paper, then you'll see!'
"All about the robbery! Paper, sir?
Robbery at City HALL Globe and PostF'
"Ah, my boy. you're making quite stir:
Is it true? Which paper has the most?'
"Globe for two cents, Post for one
Three cents tell you how twas done?
Read about the earthquaker' rent the
Morning when our local news was slim;
Busy newsboys reused general scare,
Mong them on his crutch poor cripple
Jim.
..Earthquake! where?" said in doubt.
'Read the Globe and find 1T out!''
"AlI about the terrible suicide!"
How he hung himself? How papers
sold
Lo. at.foot OF thirteenth page inside
Was the startling story briefly tod.s
Hardly worth two cents to know
Twas thief in Mexico.
Walter Allen Rice
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-06-05
OUR POSITION.

1t is now reasonably we'll assured that
The Hague peace conference will result
in the establishment of permanent ar
bitration tribunal for the adjustment of
such controversies as national autonomy
and national honor render admissible Of
settlement by peaceful means
While the United States has been the
leading factor in producing such a benefi-
cent probable result, there is one prin-
ciple underlying our national policy which
no body can commit this nation to. That
is the abrogation or weakening in any
wise of the operation of the Monroe doc
trine.
We appear in the conference at The
Hague as a nation which has no concern
in the national squabbles of Europe.
Ours is purely an abstract interest in the
cause of the promotion of peace. We are
not urging arbitration or disarmament
with reference to our relations toward
any other nation or all nations. We
claim preponderant interest and influ-
ence on this continent as against all Eu-
ropean powers, We will not submit any
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-06-05
RASH PROMISES.

A story is told of a young man in Eng
land. a great chess enthusiast, who was
so annoyed at his failure to solve an an
parently simple problem that he vowed
he would neither sleep not eat until the
solution was found. He shut himself I'D
In dtsused room and was found four
days later by his relatives terribly ema-
ciated and out Of mind He spent q. wear
In lunattc asylum as the result of his
rash vow; and the problem remains I'M
solved.
1t was for very curious reason that
an old lady. who died a few years ago.
condemned herself to more than thirty
years confinement to her house She
had married a widower, as miserly as
he was unromantic, and he insisted that
his second wife should wear the clothes
left behind her by his first wife. The
Wife was as mutinous as the husband
was resolute and she determined that
until she could have her own clothes she
would never leave the house; a vow she
kept until her death
French artist, Gericauld was deter
mined to allow no distraction to Interfere
with the painting of his great picture.
THE Wreck of the Medusa." He had his
head shaved and vowed that he would
never allow his hair to grow until his
work was done. This VOW he religiously
kept, in spite of strong temptation to
break it, and the reward of his heroism
was the most perfect painting of his life.
Woman appears to be at the root of
many eccentric vows; for it was a hatred
of the sex that impelled a once we'll
known lawyer to swear that he would
never speak to woman again as long as
he lived. Nothing would induce him to
see a lady client, and he would never
conduct a case in which a woman ap-
peared as a witness. He never EMPLOYED
q female servant, and deliberately cut
all his lady acquaintance. The inevita-
BILE result was that the men deserted
him, his practice dwindled, and he died.
less than year ago, alone in squalid
room.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-06-05

reading Spanish history from that day
to the present. the story will be found
unchanged except in detail.
There is no enlightened American but
wishes well to Spain and the Spanish
people. The Spaniard's virtues are all his
own. His exalted notion of personal hon
or, his stately courtesy, his courage. too
often partakingt Of the quality of fatal
ism, find few paTallels. They are in
born. What there is of treachery. morbid
vanity. grandiose -helplessness are all the
products of the disheartening conditions
and environments of Spanish political
life for some centuries past. AS of the
man, so of the nation, may 1t be said
that, released from the follies and foibles
which have outlived the false notions of
m1ddle-age chiyalry, the future holds for
both much of recompense for the mis-
fortunes of the past.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-06-05
FACTS TO BE CONSIDERED.
Putting This and That Together i'm
the Philippines.


the Philippines.
To the Editor of the Globe
A mere historical point of view Is of
no particular consequence at the moment
to those who believe that what ia is
right, and cannot be amended. such nar-
sons believe that war once commenced
whether right or wrong, must be car
rrled to it's bitter end. They invoke no
punishment for the assumption of power
by the executive in declaring hosti1ities
In foreign territory during the interval
between the protocol and ratification of
the treaty of peace. They can see the
president Of the United States engaged
In destroying the constitution of the re-
public by lacking on to it an incongruous
colonial system, and count 1t treason to
murmur. Yet, in consideration of the
extreme confusion in which the outbreak
OF wars is yelled from the historian. II
may be we'll to note a few ascertafned
points which may be useful to dry-as-
dusts century hence in establishing the
facts concerning the commencement of
the Philippine war
Jan. s. 1899. 1.-THE military government
heretofore maintained by the United
States in the city, harbor and bay of
Manila is to be extended with all possible
dispatch to the whole of the ceded ter
ritory. Declaration of war proclaimed
ny FIeSlOenC william Mckinley, prOmul-
gated in the Philippines
Feb. 4, 1899. Firing upon Filipinos. and
the killing of one of them by the Amerf-
cans" leading to return fire.-Maj. Gen.
E. s. Otis. Report up to April 6. 1899.
Feb. 4, 1899. 1.-The chief insurgent lead
ers did not wish to open hostiIities at
that time."-Maj. Gen. E. s. Otis. Re-
pert up to April 6, 1899
Feb. S. 1899. Gen. Torres, of the in
surgents, came through the lines under
flag Of truce, and had a personal inter-
view with Gen. Otis. in which, speaking
for Aguinaldo, he declared that the fight
ing had begun accidentally, and was not
authorized by Aguinaldo, that Aguinaldo
wished to have 1t stopped, and that to
bring about a conclusion of hostilities he
proposed the establishment of a neutral
zone between the two armies of any
width that would be agreeable to Gen.
Otis, so that during the peace negotia-
tons there might be no further danger
of conflict between the two armies. To
these representations of Gen. Torres.
Gen. Otis sternly replied that the fight
ing. having once begun, may go on to
the grim end."-Gen. G. Nee. Reeve. late
ly returned to Minnesota from duty in
Manila. Interview in St. Paul Glob q.
"Aguinaldo now applies for a cessation
of hostilities and conference; have de-
lined to answer" Maj. Gen. E. 8. Otis.
Report Feb 8, 1899.
-Erving Winslow,
Secretary of the Anti-Imperialist League.
The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1899-06-05
MANS MARRIAGEABLE AGE.

In Germany the man must be IS years
of age before he can Legally marry
In Portugal q boy of IA Is considered
marriageable and a woman of II.
In Greece the man must have seen at
least IA summers and the woman r.
In France the man II ust be 1S and the
woman Is. In Belgium the same ages.
In Spain the intended husband must
have passed his fourteenth year and the
woman her twelfth.
In Switzerland men from the age of ID
and women from the age of IL are allow
ed to marry.
In Austria "man" and woman are
supposed to be capable of conducting a
home OF their own from the age of Il