davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1899-06-08

tenance goes on just the same as in
| health
A CALCULATING BORE,
Some Speoulations That Show why
Bings Is Tiresome Company.


Some specuIations That Show why
Bings Is Tiresome Company.
My friend Bings is one of those ha-
bitual calculators-one of the kind
that says if all the teeth that have
been extracted since the first dentiss
began business were to be used for
paving purposes in Hades, the good
resolutions contractor would be out Of
job for ten thousand years. He
thinks in numbers, and if he were a
minister he would get all his texts
from the same source.
The other day he saw me first on q
ferry boat, and Immediately button
holed me. Said he: Chow sad it is
to think that so much labor goes for
naughtl'
knew that I was in for one of his
calculations, but also knew that it
would be useless to try to head him
off.
He stroked his beard, and said,
with an imitation of thoughtfulness:
every day in this Empire State
one million human beings go to bed
tired because you and I and the rest
leave butter on our plates and dom t
eat our crusts. ~
[ told him that I was astonished,
but that he would have to elucidate.
''The farmers SOW 5000, 900 bushels
of useless grain-grrin that eventually
goes out to sea on the refuse scows-
they milk $4,000 cows to no other
purpose than to produce sour OF
spilled milk, they allow their valuable
hens to lay 1,654, 800, 001 eggs that
will serve no better purpose than to
spatter some would-be Booth or lie
neglected in some out-of-the- way cor
ner, while their wives are making
1,00S, 963 pounds of butter that will
be left on the edges of plates and
thrown into the refuse-pail. If they
didn't SOW the useless grain or fuss
over the hens that lay the unused
eggs, or draw the milk that is des-
tined to sour, or make the butter that
is to ornament the edges of the china
disks, they would be able to go to bed
merely healthily tired instead of over
worked, and fewer farmers would
commit suicide, and fewer farmers
wives would go insane His eyes
cleaned, and 1 knew that as he
would put it, his pulse was going so
fast that if it were revolutions of To-
comotive wheel it would take only so
long to go somewhere.
"And what is your remedy for all
this?' asked I, with becoming, il
mock, interest.
''Let us help ourselves to no more
than we want at table, buy our eggs a
week earlier, drink our milk the day
before, eat our bread before it is too
dry, and in six months time there
will be a reduced State death-r rate,
more vacapcie in the insane asylums,
l ,456, COS rosy cheeks where to-day
are that many pale ones"
Just then the ferry boats gates were
lifted, and as we went our several
ways, in the hurry that is Characters
tic of 7,09S, Ill Americans out of
eight millions, 1 thought that, if all
the brains of all the arithmetical
cranks were used in place of wood
pulp to make into paper, we writer's
would get our pads for nothing
Charles Battell Loomis, in The Cen
tury.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1899-06-08
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE
STORIES TOLD BY THE FUNNY MEtl
OF THE PRESS.

Fake Up the Ci,i,lss..'s Rarden--A Cause
For TallS--The Comparati-s Age
Ground For Apprehe nsion--W ould BE
Punctual Then--True TO the End Etc
(By Leghorn Hen.)
Take up the chickens burden,
Send forth the best ye breed
To fatten themselves In exile
To serve the purchasers need;
To lie mid spice and gravy
On platters, hot and brown,
And then be carved in pieces,
That gluttons may ghlp them down.
st. Paul Pioneer Press.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1899-06-08
An InfallibIe Sign.

"NLr. Clair" said the manager,
"you positively must give up letting
your mind dwell so much on your BIZ
cycle"
"Eh? Why?" asked the tragedian.
perhaps you are not aware of it.
but in the third act, when you should
have said; 'Ye gods, I am stabbed,
you shouted, L am punctured. -
Tit-Bits.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1899-06-08
An Odd Hand.

Maud-"Did he ask you to be his
wife?"
Mae-"Yes.
Maud-"How did he say it?"
Mae-"Oh, as if he had had a good
deal of practice asking the same
question. boston Transcript.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1899-06-08
Exnecting Too Much.

"He says that after we are mar
ried," said the enthusiastic girl, my
every wish shall be his law"
Eyes" answered Miss Cayenne, 'I
understand that the statute books are
full of obsolete laws. .'-Washington
Star.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1899-06-08
A Matrimonial Musing.

The average young man thinks he
is in position to marry if he has $3.50
in the bank and steady job. Hope
is great factor in love affair. After
the man is forty he wonders how he
ever did it. and when heHeats pie at
night and has the nightmare he always
imagines that he is marrying again on
$250,-Atchison Globe.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1899-06-08
Making 1t Readable.

Mother--"How did papa's new book
get in this condition."
Bobby-"Why, mamma, 1 heard
papa say last night that the book was
too dry for him, so 1 put it in the
bathtub and let the water run, -
Pearson's Weekly.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1899-06-08
Extreme Opposition.

"I never saw a man so violently op-
posed to capital as Sniggles, the
labor-leader," remarked Spykes to
Spokes.
"What about Sniggles?"
"Well, he won't even use capital
letters in spelling his own name, -
Judge.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1899-06-08

81 see you have dropped one dress
maker and taken up another. What
does that mean?"
1T simply means, my dear, thet I
believe in the survival of the fittest.
-Philadelphia Bulletin.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1899-06-08

eff that girl could learn to be
punctual L believe L could marry
her."
"Possib1y if you asked her to meet
you at the altar she would be on
time"
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1899-06-08

Dix-"T understand Windig, the
attorney, is seriously ILL"
Hix-"Yes; [ met his physician
this morning, and he says he is lying
at deaths door"
"That's just like a lawyer"
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1899-06-08
One on the Editor.

Editor Ito aspiring writer)-"You
should write so that the most ignor-
ant can understand what you mean"
Aspirant-"Well, what part of my
paragraph don't you UNDERESTIMATE
Bits.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1899-06-08
a Cause For Talk.

Mr.. Griham-"The woman is talked
about awfully."
Mr.. G.-"Why shouldn't she be?
Isn't she tolerably good looking?"-
Boston Transcript.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1899-06-08
Ground For Apprehension.

Brown-"I think there will be liti-
cation over my uncle's estate"
Jones-"Why do you think SOP"
Brown-"He left lot of money"
Puck.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1899-06-08
The Co1nparntive Age

"Is that story old?"
"Oldl Why, heard that story tho
same year got this dress suit. -
Detroit Free Press.
Greene County herald. (Leakesville, Miss.) 1898-current, 1899-06-08
OVERHEARD.
BY o. P.

E A Y Y C h al n s
were about his
ankles, h a II d =
cuffs upon his
wrists and the
brand of crime
was on his fore
head, on his
dark fea t ur g s,
and in his fierce,
The daily sentinel., 1899-08-14
BUsINE LOCALS.

Get your outing supplies at Bsdwells.
We have the incest and prettiest
things In glassware them cheap at
the Bargain House.
Wanted-A drst class dining room
girl and good dish washer. Enquire At
the Fairlawn Hotsl.
Wanted-Second hand goods at the
Bargain House. We pay the highest
price for vssond hand goods
Just received. beautiful line Of pictures
etc. Call and ses them. Our prices viii
surprise you. Tho Bargain House.
Why should you be without pictures
In the home when 10 little money will
buy them at Anderson's Bargain House
Ten acres OF land miles below town
for sale. The entire ten acres, with wa
tor, for $50. Everything clear. Ad-
dress q. R. Blaln, P. o. Box 47A. tt
The daily sentinel., 1899-08-14

James L. Hamilton of Ouray is visi
tor today.
Willett Barton is working at the
Mann grocery today.
Mr.. and Mrs. Orsoa Adams jr. re-
turned yesterday from Glenwood.
Will Graham is working for the G. P.
Bliss Co.. commencing this morning.
Quits . number of young ladies left
this morning for an outing at Mesa
LakeA
Judge Joseph P. Sweeney and Miss
Nettie Blain spent Sunday at the Col
orado Spa.
John Cottrell, the we'll known mach
mist at the railway shops spent Sunday
at Glenwood.
llProf. Gillett, Entomologist Of the
state agricultural college will arrive in
the city tonight to investigate the trou-
BILE caused by the worms on sugar beets.
Governor Charles 8. Thomas. General
Overmeyer and party passed through
this city west bound Saturday night
for San Francisco to meet the Colorado
soldier boys on their return.
Henry Boyer of Higginsville, Mo-, a
brother of j. B. Boyer, finds much to
admire In the Grand Valley. He thinks
that he could readily dsside to settle
here, had he made such arrangements
before coming on this visit. He will
probably Ia the future become one OF
our citizens.
Pat Mcintyre, a workman at the beet
sugar factory i, displaying considerable
zeal in arranging for proper observance
OF Labor day in this city. Mr.. McIn-
tyre went to see Mayor E,a this morn
ing and will work among several socie-
ties to secure as much Of a display in a
parade as possible. In order to push
the matter forward there will be mass
meeting Of those interested at the City
hall next Wednesday night.
T. l.. Monson, OF Denver, state dairy
commi ssioner, arrived Unexpectedly in
this city last Saturday night. Mr..
Monson Immediately began an inspec-
tion OF the groceries Of the city to see II
any adulterated foods were kept on hand
1t is his privilege to condemn any foods
Of this character and can, il he so wills
proceed to violations of the law. He
found things iu most excellent condit-
ion in this city, except that in several
places they were selling oleo.nargarine.
The daily sentinel., 1899-08-14
{ From Our fei9bbors |

Grand junction and Montrose should
hasten TO organize republican clubs.
The mining camps are leaving you far
behind. What's the matter with Friends
Layton and Price?- San Miguel Exam
liner.
Troop A OF Grand junction gave ball
to raise money for the free train fund.
Overmeyer's Rough Riders seem to be
all right. They report fifty men on the
roll and have most of them out to drill.
Denver Times.
Grand Junction will abolish its horse
car street railway and introduce an cleo
trio system, and hereafter you og spoony
couples who are accustomed to the old
the full indulgence Of electric sparks.-
San Miguel Examiner.
A Grand Valley farmer prides himself
over threshing 43O bushels of wheat
from eight acres, but this isn't circum-
stance compared to thrashing few tor
mepting kids every day, as some Of the
wearied newspaper brethren down there
are compelled to do. San Miguel Ex-
aminer.
The Examiner is pleased to note that
Grand junction is enjoying her full
share Of prosperity just now. Ever
since eastern capital entered her doors
this spring to build beet sugar factory.
which will yearly bring large revenue
to Mesa county, times have been i'm
proving. Nov there are new business
blocks going up, her hotels are unable to
accommodate visitors, her street car line
is to be made an electric line, money is
easy, and real estate is again coming
into demand. The people are in good
spirits aud are talking Peach Day in or
der to advertise her possibilities. Golly
wouldn't she be hummer we're she not
handicapped by republican admins
tration?-San Miguel Examiner.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1899-04-20
DON'T STOP TOBACCO.
slow 10 Cure Yourself while gsIng II

The tobacco system habit grows on
q man until his nervous system IL
seriously affected, impairing health,
comfort and happiness. To quit sud
denly is to severe shock to the sys-
TEN, AS tobacco, to an inveterate USER
becomes a sttmulant tEat his system
continually Graves. Baco-Guro is IA
scientific cure for the tobacco habit.
in all is forms, carefully compounded
after the formula of an eminent Berlin
Physician who has used it in his phi
vate practice since 1872, with wiihonf
failure, purely vegetable and guar
anteed perfectly harmless. You can
use all the tobacco you want, while
taking Baco-C euro, II will notify you
when To stop. We give written
guarantee la permanently cure any
case with three boxes or refund the
money with 10 per cent intsrets
Baco-Curo IA not a substitute, but a
scientific cure. that cnres without the
ala NJ will nower and with no ineon.
venience. II leaves the system az
pure and free from nicotine as the day
You tuok yoar first chew or smoke
Sold by all druggists. with our iron.
clad guarantee. 81 90 per box. three
bpxss. Uhirty days treatment.) 81 30
or sent direct upon receipt OF price
SEND SIX TW0-CENT STAMPS
FOR HAMPLE 8OX BOOKLET
AND PROOFS FREE. Eureka
Chemical & Manufacturing Company
Manufacturing chehIsts, La Crosse
Wisconsin
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1899-04-20

Having superior advantage of be-
ing an actual resident of Nevada for
thirty-three years, I am prepared to
handle all classes of Real and Per
sonal property, gold, silver, copper,
.ead, and iron mines, farming and
grazing lands, water rights and deal
er in cattle, horses, mules, sheep
and hogs.
Parties wishing to buy or sell any
kind of property, will do well to
make their wants known to the un-
dersigned. J. A. Blossom,
Battle Mountain, New.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1899-04-20
KEYSTONE QuAgTz

claim, consisting of 1900 linear feet of the
Keystone lode bearing silver with surface
ground 600 feet in width, in Lewis Mining
llisIrlct, l county OF Lander, State of Nevada,
and described as follows:
L. 5. Mineral Survey No, 1872 Township 30
\ K 81 L NJ d NJ
,Besinning at Post l, U s 1872, which is
identical with original location corner No /.
whence the W cor OF Township 20 n R46E.,
M ID NJ, bears 81 deg Is min L 3S15 feet dis
tant, Post of May Day Consolidated Nine
q IS ND bears 3G deg % min Z 9l7 IT, dis
tant, location point where notice Is posted
bears II deg 5S min W 1911 IT. distant.
lhence = deg 20 min L 600 It. to Post 2,
whence cor No OF original location bears
y p deg 20 min + 81 IT. distant.
Thence 81 deg 10 min w 1890 ft. to Post g.
Thence p deg 20 min W 600 II. to Post 4,
whence. cor No. OF original location bears
\ 81 deg 10 min W u it. distant
Thence 81 deg 10 min 1900 IT. to Post
the place OF beginning. Area 20 66I 1000 acresl
Magnetic Variation II deg 80 min +.
The posts of claim are AKA inches square
pine posts, properly scribed, are ~ II. long,
SET " 70 Is inches in the ground, and each
s,rrouue1 by mound OF earth and stones
Adjoining mine the "Postal," next nearest
mine May bay Consolidated" above men,
toned. owned by W. T.. Dean, aforesaid.
Record OF the location of this mine is
made in the office of the Recorder of Lander
county, at Austin, in the county and State
aforesaid.
Any and all ersonsclaimingad adversely any
portion OF said Keystone Quartz claim, mine
or surface ground are required to file their adj
verse claims with the Register of the United
states Land Ofice at Carson City, in the
County OF orinsby, State OF Nevada, during
the sixty days period of publication hereof,
or they will De barred by virtue OF the
provisions OF the Statute.
o. ii. GALLUP, Register.
1t is hereby ordered that the foregoing No
tice OF Application for Patent be published
Tor the period OF ten consecutive weeks in
the CESrRAL NEvADAs, IA weekly newspaper
published at Battle Mountain. Nevada.
o. II. GALLUP, Register.
~
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1899-04-20
NOTICE To WHOM IT MAY CONCERN

We, having purchased the Nc
Beth band cf horses, branded thus
fz1es ! 4 do hereby authorize all parties
2 having in their possession or
claiming any OF said horses to bring
them to the undersigned and prove
title to the same and also have
them vented.
Blossom & Blossom,
Battle Mountain New
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1899-04-20
New Agency worlds Poultry Cure

We have taken the agency for the
Worlds Celebrated Poultry Cure.
Knowing that most of poultry in this
country require health restorer. we
have succeeded in getting The agency
of the above medicine, to be mix ed
with feed, which divesis poultry of
disease and vermin and causes them to
furnioh fresh eggs constantly. Try it.,
aad have fresh eggs and snme of that
delicious Rex ham that we have the
exclusive agency for.
Blossom e. Blossom
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1899-04-20

claim, consisting of 1900 linear feet of the
Keystone lode bearing silver with surface
ground GOO feet in width. in Lewis Mining
District county of Lander State of Nevada.
and described MS follows;
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1899-04-20
Office of TIE PIONEER PRESS CO.. c. W. HonN1oK. Sept

Office OF TIE PIONEER Pr ksS CO.. G. w HoRNoK,
st. Paul, Mnn., Sept. z 94
Eureka Chemical Mfg Co, La Crosse Wis.
DEAB SIsl have
two have smoked fifteen twenty regularly day My
system became Affected
Up the Of tobacco fer the time eng at least tried the sad 'k
ley B remedies without
until accidentally
cured health
every nveee smoker fully has left
"BACOCUPO' simply wonderful fully
Yours ruys C. W. HoRNIcK
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1899-04-20
JutIielous Advertising.

CREATES many a new business:
FNlARGES many an old business:
PRESERVES nany n large business
REHIVES many "A dull business
RFSCt fS many lost business,
SAVES many falling business;
SECU REasnectss in any bnsinesh
To advertise judiciously,' use
the columns of the NEyADAN. 1t
circulates extensively throughout
Lander and adjoining counties, be-
sides all over the Coast.
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1899-04-20

EXTERIOR BOUNDARIES OF TEE NAY
DAY CONSOLIDATED MsNESG CLAIM
...l Mineral Survey IsEf,

Begin at Posi- l, and run thence Is deg 30
min W 620 IT, to Post ) and .: thence n 25 deg
80 min W 563 #. to Post 8; thence 5 70 deg o.
min v 145l It. to Post Z: thence S 25 deg sc
min L 400 #. to Post and 3; thence 25 deg
30 min T. 629 It. 10 Post 4: thence y S5 deg 10
min E 1900 feet to Post l. the place OF beginning
Total area 80 % acres.
TIE adjoining claim is Morning Star Nine
belonging to W. 4. Dean.
Any and all persons claiming adversely any
Portion of said May Day Consolidated Mining
Claim Mine or surface ground, are required to
file their adverse claims with the Register Of
the United states Land Office at Carson City, in
the County of Orinsby, State OF Nevada, during
the sixty days period of publication hereof, or
they viii be barred by virtue of the pro-
visions Of the Statu C.
.. Il. GALLUP, Register.
1t Is hereby ordered that the foregoing No
tice Of Application Tor Patent be published fei
tie period of ten consecutive weeks, ia the
GENITAL NEvApAS, n weekly newspaper pub
lished at Battle sIoulhain, Nevada,
D. Il. GALLUP, Register.
Nov. 9TH
The Central Nevadan. [volume] (Battle Mountain, Nev.) 1885-1907, 1899-04-20
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION.
Invariably in adyance.)
RATES oF ADyERTlsENG.

Ont Square item lines) First Insertion. o.. .s5 90
Each Subsequent Insertion. ............... l 30
Orders for Subscription. Advertising and Job
Work will receive prompt attention
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1899-04-11
MEANS CHEAP MEN.

Dear money means cheaI
goods, cheap property and CHEAP
men. Those who are at the head
and front of the gold movement
make untold millions every year BY
simply turning over their dollars.
and then they insult the penniless
tramp looking for work by telling
what "good, " sound money we
have, and how much a dollar viii
buy-when he gets one. John P.
Altgeld strikes the nail squarely
on the head when he says that we
should first restore the monetary
system that was wrengfully sub
verted in 1873 and settle. the de-
tails aftsrward. That is what we
have at all times insisted upon.
Let US restore silver first at the
old-time ratio and see how it
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1899-04-11
A sUPERsTIToUs MAN.


An American millionaire who
has a palace at Venice is more
superstitious than his countrymen
usually are On Thanksgiving day
:he invited a party OF friends, IN
Gliding a Roman prince, one OF
the Qaeen OF Italy's maids OF
honor, and various sprigs OF the
Italian aristocraey- The Roman
prince, however, failed him at the
last moment, and the host refused
to sit down to dinner on finding
that the company consisted of thir-
teen persons He made various
Huirless attempts to secure another
gnest, and at last, Ia despair, he
announced that. he intended TO
follow the custom of the Arabs,
who always wait upon their guests,
md eat their own dinner by them
selves afterward.. The meal proved
a great Suecess.-Sketch.
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1899-04-11

IRIS TO be hoped that it is not
the intention of the war depart
ment to leave the frontier entirely
nagarrisoned, On the removal Of
the Tenth cavalry to Cuba. Sure
ly it would be a poor policy to do
so. Mexico keeps large bodies of
troops constantly in garrison along
the Rio Grande, and the United
States shoald do likewise. Though
there is no danger whatever Of any
international complication requir-
ing troops, yet there is always on
8 thinly settled frontier more or
less danger from the turbulent and
lawless men that always frequent
such region in greater or less
numbers. The presence of a com
pany of United States soldiers is q
safeguard sgainst any disturb
ances. A case in point was the
riot at Laredo lately, which was
quieted Immediately upon the ep-
pearance of compaay of Uncle
Saas 5. ixvincibles. Those of our
citizens who have any influence at
Washington should promptly petit
tion the war department not to
leave the frontier withsut troops.
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1899-04-11
IN FOREIGN LANDS.
japanese And Chinese Laborers
Fight in Hawaii.

San Franeico, Cal, April T.
The steamship Mariposa arrived to-
day from Australia via Samoa and
the Hawaiin Islands. The Associat-
ed Press representatives at Homo
lulu send an account OF racial
battle between japanese and Chi
nese laborers or the kahuku plan
taion, which took place on March
rs. For some time trouble has
been brewing between the Japause
and the Chinese. The japanese,
armed heavily and well organized,
made an onslaught on the Chinese
quarter the Chinese were taken
entirely unawares. The japanese
welded spiked clabs, knives ard
axes, and before the Chinese could
make resistance three OF their num-
Der we're killed and dozen more
seriously wounded, some fatally
and about forty slightly injured.
The noise of the battle reached
headquarters and the manager Of
the plantation gathered a force of
men and went to the scene of the
trouble. After considerable diff
Guilty the belligerents were dispers-
ed. A squad of police was sent to
the plantation from Honolulu ard
martial law was declared on the
plantation Twenty-three Of the
japanese ringleaders were arrest
ed. The Chinese Of the island are
greatly excited and the merchants
in Honolulu look for further
trouble.
The Brownsville daily herald. [volume] (Brownsville, Tex.) 1897-1910, 1899-04-11
LATE NEWS ITEMS.

One of the new war ships IS. to
Be named the Galveston.
There was heavy frost and
temperature below freezing at
penis0n, Tex, Friday night.
Admiral Dewey has asked for
six months engineering supplies.
Three thousand cotton mill oper-
atives are On strike in Rhode Is
lard.
Tie japanese in Hawaii attacked
the Chinese, killing three and
wounding twelve
The state of Texas has been d.
videJ into thirteen. census dis
triets-
zapatx county, Texas, has seIrs
Representative Russell apetition
+, the legislature to remit taxes IN
that county for this year. owing to