Herald and news. [volume] (West Randolph, Vt.) 1878-1943, 1899-05-04
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mad or drunk the man who had dared
tell me the like. Two months ago was
the happiest man in India. Today, from
Peshawur to the sea, there is no one
more wretched My doctor and | are
the only two who know this. His ex-
PLANTATION is that my brain, digestion
and eyesight are all slightly affected,
giving rise to my frequent and persist
ent "deiusions. Decisions, indeed
call him a fool but he attends me still
with the same unwearied smile, the
same bland professional manner the
same neatly trimmed red whiskers, till
| begin to suspect that | am an migrate
full, evil tempered invalid But you
shall judge for yourselves
Three years ago it was my fortune
my great misfortune--to sail from
I Gravesend to Bombay, on return from
long leave, with one Agnes Keith
Washington. wife of an officer on the
Bombay side 1t does not in the least
concern you to know what manner Of
woman she was. Be content with the
/ knowledge that. ere the voyage had
/ ended. both she and / were desperately
/ and unreasoningly in love with one an
/ other Heaven knows that l can make
the admission now without one particle
/ of vanity In matters Of this sort there
| is always one who gives and another
who accepts. From the first day Of our
/ i'll omened attachment / was conscious
that Agnes passion was a stronger, a
more dominant and-if l may use the
| expression purer sentiment than
mine, Whether she recognized the fact
then, do not know. Afterward it was
bitterly plain to both of us.
Arrived at Bombay in the spring of
the year, we went our respective ways,
to meet no more for the next three or
four months, when my leave and her
love took us both to Simla. There we
spent the season together, and there my |
fire of straw burned itself out to a pitt
full end with the closing year | at
tempted no excuse | make no apology. |
Mrs, washington had given up much for |
my sake and was prepared to give up
all From my own lips, in August,
1882, she learned that | was sick of her
presence, tired of her company and
weary of the sound of her voice. Nine
ty-nine women out of a hundred would
have wearied of me as | wearied of
them; 70 Of that number would have
promptly avenged themselves by active
and obtrusive Irritation with other men
Mrs. Washington was the hundredth
On her neither my openly expressed
aversion nor the cutting brutalities
with which garnished our interviews
had the least effect.
Jack, darling, was her one eternal
cuckoo cry. I'm sure it's all mis-
take, a hideous mistake, and We'll be
good friends again some day Please
forgive me, Jack, dearl"
/ was the offender and l knew it,
That knowledge transformed my pity
into passive endurance and, eventual
ly, into blind hate-the same instinct,
| suppose, which prompts a man to saw
agely stamp on the spider he has but
half killed. And with this hate in my
bosom the season of 1882 came to an
end
Next year we met again at Simla--
she with her monotonous face and
timid attempts at reconciliation and |
with loathing of her in every fiber of
my frame. Several times | could not
avoid meeting her alone and on each
occasion her words were identically the
same-still the unreasoning vail that
it was all a mistake" and still the
hope of eventually making friends
might have seen, had cared to look
that that hope only was keeping her
alive She grew more wan and thin
month by month. You will agree with
me at least that such conduct would
have driven any one to despair 1t was
uncalled for, childish, unwomanly. ii
maintain that she was much to blame
And again, sometimes in the black. fe-
yer stricken night watches, have be-
gun to think that / might have been a
little kinder to her But that really is
'delusion. / could not have contin-
ued pretending to love her when
didn I, could II 1t would have been I'M
fair to us both.
Last year we met again-on the
same terms as before, the same weary
appeals and the same curt answers
from my lips. At least | would make
her see how wholly wrong and hopeless
were her attempts at resuming the old
relationship. As the season wore on we
fell apart-that is to say. she found il
difficult to meet me, for ! had other
and more absorbing interests to attend
to. When | think it over quietly in my
sickroom, the season of 1884 seems a /
confused nightmare wherein light and
shade were Enthusiastically intermingled-
my courtship Of little Kitty Mannering
my hopes, doubts and fears; our long
rides together; my trembling avowal of
attachment; her reply, and now and
again vision Of a white face fitting
by in the rickshaw with the black and
white iveries | once watched for so
earnestly; the wave of Mrs Messing
tons gloved hand. and when she met
me alone, which was but seldom. the
irksOme monotony of her appeal
loved Kitty Mannering - honestly.