Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, Ramsey Co., Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1905, 1899-08-04
WASHINGTON D. G.

WASHINGTON, D. @.
Tu the Editur:
Sence the agurnment Nv kongress I hev
sryin tn pore lie upon the trubbled waters
Nv politix. We hev so menny crooked
paths tn straiten and so menny ruff places
tn smooth down thet I hev been appinted
. resident embassadur or a peramboolatin
misshunary wherever mi services are most
needed. This will be mi permanent he'd
quarters, whar I kin meet SIGH NV our
statesmen ez ar willin tn be met bi a Moo
Gersey Dimicrat and WHARF we kin gather
up fragments Nv craftsmanship If thare ar
Onny foatin around. Wen thare IL mis-
summary work tn perform in emmy part Nv
the kountry, I kin be fired out frum heer
bi male or telegraph and fiji tn wherever
a Dimicratio ~onplesantness needs passi-
fytn. This arrangement wuZ made bi Mr..
Cleveland and sum Nv hiz former offs.
holders, hoo ar now lyin low and >watein
fer sumthin tn turn up bi witch tina kin
wunst more git a grip ontu the ranes Nv
power. Tha sed tina wanted a man hoo
woodn't be tn sensitiv, who Good be all
things tn all men, one hoo Good absorb
and carry a hevvy load NV IRWIN floods,
and hoo Good be depended upon tn vote
the Dimicratic ticket at all times without
KNOWN OF carin why he did it. I felt
fattered tn think thet aeNoo Gersey Dimi-
GRAFT Good fill the bill ,saad~I accepted the
hi onner ez soon ez it wuz rendered tn me
and arrangements made fer mi susten-
snce, kampane expenses, and enuf apple
jack fer samples in p%rosecutin mi N. ls-
summary wurk.
Mi first assinement wuz tn go tn Moo
York city tn tri tn disintangle the snarls
Wtch the Dimicratio facshuns he'd got
themselvs intu concernin the Tammany
dinner, the Bryan dinner, the workin-
mems dinner and several other meels tibet
he'd not been eaten wen I got thare. The
several facshuns he'd bin THROWN harpoons
intu each other, ~fggeratively speekin, and
1t wuz a cheerful and edifyin possibility
tibet I mite be the mems NV restorin peece
and harmuny whar fltin he'd bin goin on.
Thare wuz wun embarrassin lecture
Nv the sitooashun tibet wood hev made
trubble fer me II 1t he'd not bin fer the
thotfulness NV mi mex door nabur. It
wuz the plutoocratic acshun Nv the Tam
many kommittee in chargin $40 a plate
fer feed. I felt thet 1t wuz a greevus mis-.
talk and a prohibitory tariff agin the aver.
tg Dimicrat. I never seen the da in mi
life wen I Good eat $40 with Nv fodder at
wun meel, and I considered it an insult
tn a Moo Gersey statesman NV mi intelleok
tn levy SIGH a tariff fer purposes Nv reve-
moo only. The idee seemed more rashunal
wen I wuz asshoored thet the most NV 1t
wood be expended in providin likwid re-
freShmentS. SO I becum better rekonsIled
tn the arrangement wen it wuz explained
tn me in detale.
On the mite Nv Croker's grand joobilee
I wus heidi fer the Metropolitan theatur
at an early hour. I he'd never bin in Moo
York before, but I shood hev Recognized
it ennywhere ez a Dimicratic settlement
bi the number and kapacity Nv it's sa.
looms. Ez I past SO menny Nv these gor.
jus recrootin stashuns Nv the democracy
I felt it mi dooty tn redubble mi labers tn
promote harmuny, fer here, I realized,
wuz our stronghold whar more votes Good
be found with less voters than in emmy