The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1899-02-14
ALL AROUND A HAT

ular success, and this particular night the
theater was crowded. Every seat in every
part of the house was occupied-every seat,
that is, but one, and that one in the pit
This was all the more remarkable as this seat
looked a good seat-well up forward, nearly
in the center, quite as advantageous, as pit
people are won't to hypocrise, as ten and
sixpence wasted on stall. And yet the
seat was, all the same, undeniably vacant.
1t was net being kept" either; the
young man on the other side of it already
had his young lady with him; l, on this
side, did not have young slady at all, and
did not expect one either; that seat was
neither reserved nor taken. There was
mystery about tia mystery was ac-
quainted with, a mystery you will get to
know too if you have the courage to go on.
You may be curious why did not move
up into this excellently good seat. There
is another mystery in the matter, and, just
as in the case where two negatives, we are
enormously assured, constitute a positive
affirmative, so these two mysteries, being ex-
planned, annul one another As matter
of fact, had moved into that seat on en-
terng and then had hastily moved back
again, while had the chance. For imme-
diately in front was stylish young lady,
what is generally catalogued smart girl;
young, good-looking, very nice; in the Height
of fashion, and-need say it?-with hat.
There you have it, not the hat, which is
probably in the same possession (un.ess, of
course, the fashions have again changed, as
is to be expected considering the incident
took place nearly week ago); not the hat
vidual who paid to come in and took up his
station, sitting down, behind that hat would
have absolutely no return for his money, but
gratuitous and highly exasperating view
of ribbons and dead birds that Regent street
slorfes into Creation"
We knew, you know; we had tried it,
the first and the quickest, and then other
men, who wandering in late and thanking
their lucky stars for their great, good for
tune, bounced into that seat with a wide
smile on their faces. remained, frowned and
coughed and shufiled their feet where the
floor sounded loudest, and then finally de-
parted somewhere into the back, with in
articulate mutterngs and much painfully
suppressed emotion.
An old gentleman at the back of me, who
evidently made habit of misanthropy and
allowed none of his fellow creatures sad
ness to pass without proper merriment, was
spending a most enjoyable evening in con-
sequence. The world to him was a good deal
more than a stage, and he would certainly
have been content to wait all night for the
rising of the curtain, provided the fun in front
went on SO uninterruptedly. When some
body from the rear made a move for
this scat his face beamed with the gratitude
of thanksgiving. AS the somebody sat down
there he seemed to let off profound
chuckle. When the somebody faced the hat
and fidgeted, his sides shook and his double
chin trembled
Just as the lights went down and the cur
tain went up u young man, the youngest of
| them all up to now, pushed his way in from
\ the side and tumbled into that open trap,
| piously took off his Lord Ronald Cover and
put it under the seat, punched himself up
into that preponderant attitude that is
necessary to proper receptiveness, peered
eagerly forward, and saw beautifully-all
| the blackness of the lady's hat. Then en-
sued the usual pantomimic demonstration
| of foilcd expectation-coughs, and discom-
forting, because very sincere, growls.
What was most remarkable, however, was
| that this young man did not abandon the
position, like his predecessors, but held on
and stuck there in forlorn hope, rousing
| himself at intervals to pivot round on his
| vertebral column and describe most alarm
ing contortions in rash attempts to get his
head, and more particularly his eyes, into
some nook or crevice where the stage was
not completely effaced, then sinking down
in failure and despair and collapsing into
unwilling resignation, tempered by ebulli-
| tions of muffled groans. And the old gentle.
| man behind was quivering with commissions
| Of Joy, SO that fell back on him again, and
Il J;1 hin, vo ~, i,,rv
ever, much damping his ecstatic rapture.
The girl on the right of us here caused
some diversion, and even applause, by re
moving her hat at her young mans sugges-
tion. My unfortunate neighbor seized the
opportunity to open up some hints of his
| own in the guise of a dialogue with me.
THAT girl, sir" he declared, impressive
ly, "that girl is worth her weight in gold"
eyes, contented myself with answering,
my attention on the play. The young lady
in the front wriggled.
''The man who marries her." continued
the sufferer, with the courage of despair.
"marries pearl-a pearl, sir, above all
price!'
"Ah?" queried, absent-mindedly, pig
headedly, combining my interest to the stage
The young lady in front huffed herself.
''She has had the intelligence, sir, the in
telligence and good breeding to take he,
hat off"
This time he had made false move, had
gone too far. The young lady in front
suuared her shoulders and settled down
more grimly than ever. The young man saw
the game was up and fell to grooming again
The old gentleman behind was certainly saw
ing himself stroke of apoplexy.
This last indecent exhibition of self-in
diligence on the old cynic's part aroused my
indignation and my sympathy; it was I
moral and edifying play, and we were now
coming to the most instructive part, which
did not want the young man to miss.
Joined forces to help him and brought my
Maxims up at a trot.
"She has more than all that" replied
carrying on the conversation where he left
it off; much more. Have you not noticed
her beautiful golden hair, of the color Of
sunshine and the fneness of silk?"
The young lady in front commenced tc
wriggle again; her hair was also blond
and, to speak the truth, more beautiful than
%1,o o%b R,,t of Ill