The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-07-04
Trimming the Hedge.

I saw an honest farmer trimming an
Usage hedge over in Henry county, says
a writer in the Burlington Hawkeye. 1t
is a very peculiar operation, and I listened
to it with a great deal of interest. 1 say
listened, because the interesting feature of
trimming a hedge consists not so much
in what he says. The honest farmer had
"A crooked knife on the end of a hoe han
die. He stuck this into the hedge and
gave it a jerk.
Then he said:
"Ah"
Then he jerked again and down came
the hedge switch. Then he said:
"Ah-hm
Then he took hold of the withered
switch and lew it from the hedge Then
he put his thumb in his mouth and stood
on one foot and said:
"Ah-h-hr
Then he once more unto the breach.
dear friends, made another prod with the
hook and said, loudly:
Gee Whzr'
Then he jerked at a wicked-looking
branch with his hook and roared:
Great snakes"
Then he pulled out a crooked branch
so full of thorns that it made your back
ache 10 look at it, and, when he stumbled
over it and il wrapped itself around his
legs, he stood stin for a second then
dropped his hook lifted his hands to
heaven and screamed:
oh bloody murderr'
The next rake he made he brought a
whole top of hedge plant with five or
six branches right down on his back.
Then he threw his hedge hook clear
| across a ten-acre field opened his mouth
thrice in a voiceless gasp, spread his
arms out and fell down fiat on his face,
dug his toes into the turf, drummed on
the turf in agony with his clenched fists,
and walled like a storm of wrath:
"Oh. dad essentially! Take him off!
Somebody take him off,
When he got up he said 1 seemed in
terested in hedge trimming, and he would
teach me how TO do 1t myself, l said no,
1 wouldn't try to learn, I would like to
know how, but 1 was too awfully lazy.
Lii Hung Changes Poisoned Cakes.
OF Ii Hung Chang numberless stories
are told in Chinese society, says the Phil
adelphia Press. Now and then one reaches
this country through our consuls to China.
Nearly all are favored with that strange
oriental atmosphere which is so puzziing
to our western civilization.
On one occasion when the premier was
having a bitter fight with some of the
more conservative members of the Tsung
Ii Yamen he received as a present a mag
nficent cake which he had reason to sus-
pect contained poison He put the cake
aside and set all his powerful machinery
10 work 10 find out who was at the bottom
OF the plot The investigation was partly
successful, the crime being traced to three
men, OF whom one at least was abso-
lutely guilty. Ii had the trio arrested and
brought to his yamen. When they ar
rived they were ushered into his presence
and were received in his courtliest manner
The cake was produced with the remark
that "pollteness forbade his tasting it I'M
Ill the three generous donors had had an
opportunity to enjoy its excellence" Ii
cut the cake and one of his servitors
hended it to The unwilling guests Each
took piece and ate, or pretended to eat
it. One crumbled the pieces and let them
fall upon the floor, but the other two ate
calmly. without manifesting any emotion.
Ten minutes and the two men began to
show symptoms of suffering. Ii smiled
benignanty and said TO the man who had
rot eaten: your wisdom is so great that
1 am compelled to preserve your head as
a souvenir of transcendent genius"
The man was removed and promptly de-
capitated. To the other two the premier
remarked; THE cake that you are eating
is not the one you sent, but one which
had my cook initiate. The poison from
which you are suffering exists only in your
Imagination. 1 know of no way to cure
your present pain except by letting you
share the same fate as your friend who
has just left the room"
As they We're led away the statesman
said to his retinue: 1T is a pity that a
sonng with an unmoved countenance
should so misappiy the talent wherewith
heaven has endowed him"
-s-a-s-