The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1899-05-07


of gopherS. coyotes, sand ourrA prickiy
pearp drouths, bad crops and cyclones
Every resident was supposed to pas the
summer months beneath the surface OF
the flying EARTH Town sites moved from
section corner TO section corner without
the action Of the county court. Fixtures
az legally defined were not supposed TO
exist on these barren plains. All was
movable but the Federal land OFFICES. ana
these were frequently haif-burted under
the shifting sands which the restless
winds banked up in furroWs.
Spain was . licked commodity before
the previous condition Of incertitude was
removed from the historical prospectus
of Kansas The war was at an end. the
papers signed and word on the way to
the Philippines to the two commanders
there to let up on the PROSTATE Don, and
still Kansas and her sons were regarded
as harmless hayseeds. lacking in social
graces, devoid OF any more eievating SEN
timept than the condition Of the allegediy
stunted corn. reckless Of POLITICAL happen
inxs, the birthplace. almost OF rampant
Populism and every other political heresy
exploited on the earth. None from Kan
sas wore socks even. for the tradition had
gained cSedence that the most renowned
statesman OF that commonwealth-of re-
cent years. at least--had been compelled
to forswear socks or lose his Job
and the war with the Filipinos COM
menced last February. Now everybody
is saying. What Is the matter with Kan
sas? The bill of particulars is made more
definite and specific and the query be-
comes, What's the matter with Fred
Funston, of Kansas In the language OF
a certain ditty much loved of late, refer
ring to a certain prince. power and poten-
tate Of a foreign land. the. answer comes
back from something over 100000 OK
threats: NIX" That Is what Is the mat
ter with Funston. 1t also applies 10 q
band Of gallant Kansas boys who follow
their intrepid leader into every scrap
which has been generated under the trop-
tcal sun of LuzoL It will to the end,
whatever that may be.
Makes HIS Debut - . Reporter.
Ten years ago the writer was seated
In the city office OF Kansas City, Mo,
paper waiting for the daily assignments.
He was alone, for he was the first ar
rival Of the stan. While reading over
his stuff-they all do that-of the day be-
fore a short, sturdily built youth with
cherubic countenance entered. 1t was not
and the boyle was little more-wiped
broad, fair brow with spotless hand
kerchief. Then he bowed to the writer
and said in a mild. almost effeMinats
voice: "City editor, sir?"
BE In soon. Want TO see him person.
allyn
Eyes, sir" .s.
IAN right, just sit down. Seen the sheet!
Well, here's q copy. am expecting him
every moment" ..-l sts..~
The youth took the pronered paper and
modestly seeking corner behind the
open door, began to take stock OF the
shop. He read but little. but took In ev-
erything In the room. including the other
tenant. This can be proved by the fact
that the sole other tenant was taking
stock Of him at the same time. The boy
was not much to look at. but one look
called for two. He had a direct look from
two bright gray-blue eyes that never
faitered II detected Ia taking fellows
measure He was broad In the shoulders,
slight in the waist. heavily hipped. short
Of stature. s feet at most. II that, and
as ordinary looking q young chap az one
might wish to see. Yet he had an at
traction which inspired a second glance.
II was hard to tell what this was. but 1t
was there.
The city editor arrived and proceeded
with his routine labors. He had disposed
OF all OF his men without noticing the
presence OF the stranger. He was an
irascibla man. that city editor, and when
he did see the young fellow he asked
angrily: well. and what can I do for
your
I'm Fred Funston. I was directed to
report to the city editor for duty"
'fOh, yes Mr. Funston. glad TO see YOU"
was the reply. Then turning to the writer
he introduced the youth and directed his
man TO break in the newcomer on the
courts. That was how Fred Funston
broke into the newspaper business In Kan
sas City along in the spring OF lsss He
was duly broken In. for he was liked by
his tutor. but he was always slipping a
cinch. AS a reporter he was alternately
nd "A
worked his run faithfully. but II he
had continued long enough In the business
would have been set down as a failure.
He disliked trifies.
A Modest Man.
Fred remained with the paper several
months and became favorite, for he
was so modest nobody ever dreamed he
had already made a record which Is looked
upon as remarkable by old campagners
IN frontier duty. That sweet voiced little
chap had marched through Death valley
with a bunch Of greasy Shoshones. help
ing 70 make the only accurate survey ever
made of that region and at a time when
he was scarcely emancipated from the
control of his father. He nearly died OF
thirst for the party became lost in the
labyrinthian Businesses of that fearful
stronghold He carried a chain. but with
the versatility which has always been his
made lot Of anthropologscal observations
which subsequently brought him many q
dollar from Eastern publications.
Fred Funston is now about rs years old.
He Is the son % the former member OF
congress from the Second Kansas district.
known 20 fame Farmer" Funston.
The farmer was a Methodist preacher
before he went in for agriculture and poll
tics and WAS famed FOR the sonorousress
Of his mighty voice IL IS common repute
cut in that district. which was then q
shoestrinx running north and south along
the SO miles Of the eastern border of
Kansas. that the old man nigh, address
hrs constituents in Wyandotfe and Be
heard down In Parsons. Fred spoke with
the mild Lisp Of a budding schoolgirl
The farmer was feet and weighed
about go when he felt real good. which
was u,ost Of the time: the bay was under
5 feet with French heels 10 his boots
and was a bantam ia weight. Contrasts
are sometimes Of value.
Fuaston an College.
Down IN M.ams county Kansas, is a
little city called Paoia- IL In not much
as city and has few attractions con-
casls~a about n. Set far from this spot
Fred Funston passed his noyhood He
pat in his tine raising chickens ard hell.
learning 10 ride haekIng eayasss and be-