The daily chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Ind. Ter. [Okla.]) 1898-1902, 1899-07-07
THE RETIRED BURGLAR.


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"You remember I told you tho
other day." said theretired burglar,
"about upsetting couple of buck
cts of paste in a room that was be-
ing papered and falling down in the
paste and getting all covered with
it and then sitting down in corner
seat in the next room to scrape the
paste off my shoes and finding when
/ got up that ] had sofa cushions
stuck to me all overl Well, that
makes me think of another sticky
experience I had once that was
somewhat different from that
"You always look over a bureau
and through the bureau drawers in
room when you can. You are pret-
ty sure to find something about a
bureau worth carrying off, but you
don't always I set my lamp down
one night on top of a bureau after
preliminary survey over it with
out finding anything and then went
through the top drawer without
finding anything there, and then |
stepped back little to get at the
next drawer easier, or rather | was
going to step back, but I couldn't. l
was stuck fast, standing there in
front of the bureau. Icouldn t move
my feet any more'n if they'd been
strapped down to the floor with iron
straps.
Course my hands were free, and
/ picked up my lamp and turned 1t
down on the floor l found on the
floor in front of the bureau board
about feet long and maybe IS or
20 inches wide, that I was standing
on. 1t was screwed down to the floor
at the four corners, and it was COW
cred all over thick with the stickiest
stuff | ever came across. What it
was don't know, but the stickiest
glue that ever was would have been
like mild dilution of weak muci-
lage compared to it. just simply
couldn' t move my feet at all And
unfortunately, for some reason, /
hadn t worn my rubbers that night.
1t was my shoes that was stuck
down, and I'd got to get out of 'em.
OF course | could have unscrewed
the board from the fioor-I had a
screwdriver right there in my bag
alongside of me-but what good
would that have donel I'd have had
to take the board along with me,
and, hopping along with a board 4
feet long and = feet wide fastened
to my feet, I'd have made as much
noise as dropping boards in lum-
ber yard. There wasn't anything to
do but get out of my shoes, and l
bent over 'em carefully and unlaced
'em and then held on TO the bureau
end stepped out of 'em, one at a
time, on to the floor You know, l
hated to leave them shoes there like
that, but there wasn't anything else
to do. | looked at 'em a minute and
then dropped my lamp in my ulster
pocket and picked up my bag-that
is, tried to pick it up, but might
Just as well have tried to lift the
house. realized then for the first
time that / had set the bag down on
the sticky board, and it was stuck
as tight as my shoes were.
"Well, that made me kind of mad.
I'd carried the old bag for years
and got used to it, and | hated to
lose it, especially like that. But
what could do about It'll Nothing.
And then / almost fell over on the
board myself when Ireached for the
bag and it didn't come, and kind
of felt that it wasn't sensible to fool
around there too long. There wasn't
anybody awake, and was just as
free to move about as ever, but
couldn't help thinking that anybody
that would invent a scheme like
that might have something else on
foot anywhere around the house. So
/ opened the bag and got the things
out of it and dropped 'em in my
pocket, and then I took one more
look at my shoes and the bag stand
ing there in sort of irregular row
in front of the bureau, and then
Lee ,o.., a.ad ,,nndo n hoo Ena e,rrt Of