Evening journal., 1899-09-25
Unappreciated HumOr
nTTowD YOU like to be the icemanr"

OVID you ike 10 be the lcemanF
inquired the stationery man as
he walked into the shop where the
South side tailor was cutting the sleeves
Of a morning coat out Of a piece of
black Melton. AS he spoke he threw
back the lapel of his waistcoat and dis
closed, pinned on the inside, minia-
ture pair of ice tongs holding cube of
glass.
The tailor looked at him with the Bit
ter scorn, and the anticipatory grin on
the stationery mans face became
sheepish and slowly faded away.
Il suppose you expect me to haw-haw
right out at that" remarked the tailor,
rubbing the dent that the shears had
made in his thumb. "You thought I'd
wipe my eyes and tell you that's about
the best thing I ever seen and ask you TO
let me have it TO take home and show
my wife. You haven't read the direc-
tions on the wrapper. What you want
TO do is to wait until some other chump
asks you the same darn fool question.
Then you spring that funny little toy
on him and give him the equine giggle'
and he naturally concludes he's got 10
buy you 1879 cents worth of liquor TO
square himself. Amt right?"
"Sure thing, you are-on the drink
proposition" replied the stationery
man. "The joke would be on him
wouldn't it? He'd be a lobster if lac
didn't buy"
"Pve got you down fine" said The
tailor. when the other chump says
Let's 90 and take something on that,
he shows that he's a good fellow ane
! don't lay it up against you becaus'
4 you're smart. How much did you pay
for that little piece of brick-a-brack?"
"Ony one nick" said the Stationery
man, buttoning up his waistcoat again
q might have got two for ten cents j
L had thought of it. Say! The felle
that got those up was dandy. I'd lik
10 have all the good stuff he gets out o
4 it,"
so would l." agreed the tailor
there's enough weak-minded person
right here in Chicago to make him rich
= So YOU gave five cents for that? Tha
= means enough to knock the profits OF
y a stick of liquorice and two OF thre
: : evening papers. Perhaps an afternoon
= sale. You give that up without a mul
mur for thing an intelligent tive-yeal
old kid would pass up. I'm sorry fo
: you, l am. on the dead"
n The tailor resumed his cutting, an
I the stationery man whistled an air tha
= had direct connection with the subieS
= Of the tailor's reproof and appeared
be revolving some sort of retort in h
mind. Presently he said: Il suppo'
yoH'ye had another mistit suit throw
:, - back on your hands?"
~ "Why SOP" asked the tailor, blandly
n 81 notice that you get one of tho'
\ prickly grouches on You whenever th'
le happens. I'd hate to be your family"
Don't feel bad about it," said Il
- tailor. 81 didn't mean to make you fe
rv as if you wasn't welcome. You don
Is want 10 get the idee that ] was mad.
* lust got spell of nausea. I'm subje
ry 10 them when a man comes around al
k makes them kind of cracks. Why
at YOU ask me how I'd Ike to be the ic
man? Where does the funny part con
in? suppose you mean TO say th
the iceman has a good time while q
ry hot weather lasts. That's all right.
matter of fact the iceman that com
oo around in this street has TO sit IN Z
10 ~ sun to drive and then he has TO dr.
anywhere from ten to ahundred poun
M of ice about the sidewalk, and nj
". women out of twelve tell him that th
~ know there amt no ten pounds in th
piece. And then the weather amt b
now-it's been a cool summer. Il
wen say he does have a good time.
ID that the reason why you snicker VIII
lig