Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1899-01-12
HIS ONLY PRACTICAL JOKE.
An Old Mans sReminiscence of One OF
His BOyhOOd's Most Painful
Experiences.

The apples and cider and the genial
warmth of the glowing coal fire caused
the old man to grow reminiscent. He
placed his siippered feet up on the fen
der, and, while brighter light came
into his faded eyes, he talked of the
good old times"
Once" he said, and he smiled at
the recollection. Il did very funny
thing when | was very small boy.
| think | must have exhausted all my
genius for fun in that one grand cf-
fort, for | have never had the heart to
attempt a funny thing since.
1T happened when | was about ten
years old. ! was then helping father
to run the farm, and, l suspect. we ran
it pretty hard, too, for the first thing
| knew it got away from us; but that
is another story. AS | was saying, it
happened when l lived on farm. We
had hired man, great, raw-boned,
overgrown 1rishman, as full of mad
pranks as Peck's bad boy. He was al
ways playing some trick on me. One
night he placed a large thistle in my
bed. 1t was summertime, and | had
no underclothes on and when | lay
down on that thistle there was a SEN
sation, several million of them. The
Irishman stood and laughed at me un-
til great tears rolled down among
the red stubble of his face. I swore
as we'll as n young fellow'cOuld swear,
that l would get even with him. |
spent all the neXt day studying out
how it could be done, and by night
had a plan worked out which thought
so good | had to go out behind the barn,
where nobody could see me, and have
a good laugh over it. Afterward !
was glad l had the laugh anyway.
That night stayed up until all in
the house had got to bed. Then
went and got mothers largest wash
tub, sat it at the foot of the stairs,
and filled it with water. Next | Sc
cured several lengths of stovepipe and
scattered them at judicious distances
upon the stairs. You see, the hired man
slept upstairs. So did I, for that matter;
but, then, he was always up an hour oi
more before | was, and so, of course, he
would come downstairs first. In fact,
| intended that he should come down
head first, and then cool off in the tub
of water.
every part of the plan was carefully
thought out. | was confident 1t would
work like charm. In fancy | could
see the look of astonishment that would
lump all over the big frishman's face
when his feet struck the stovepipes on
l, = Il tnt, Il fn ha
tub of water. Then | would have the
laugh on him, and | thought of the
thistle pricks and the sweetness Of re-
venge as l cautiously crept upstairs to
bed. 1t was some time before / could
get to sleep. | felt so good over the
Joke | was about tc play on the IRISH
man. In imagination | saw him go
sprawlng down the stairs, yelling like
a wild Indian, and fancied how funny
he would look when he picked himself
up out of the tub of water, blowing
like a whale and swearing Ike himself.
However, | at length fell asleep, and
slept the sleep of tired boy until sud
denly | was awakened by some one
wildly crying: Fire! tire!! fire!!H
Il always had a horror of being
burned alive. The cry frightened me
out of my wits. | did not stop to think;
but sprang out of bed and rushed fol
the stairs. My feet struck stovepipe
and started off on their own hook.
followed, trying to get ahead Of Their
and succeeded just II time to land heao
first in the tub of water.
What racket | and the stovepipe.
made! How the water flew in every d.
rection! All in the house rushed to the
stairway to see what the matter was
The big lrishman stuck his head
through the open door, and, seeing me
standing shivering in the tub OF wafer
wearing skinned nose and wet shirt
mildly inquired: Did ye iver GIT iet'
me darint"
MAD? Mad is not the name Tor the
state of my temper. | was ravlng, tear
ing. boiling with maniacal fury anc
he old man chuckled softly to himself
at the picture memory held before hi
eyes of youth now long, long dead
y. y. Sun.