Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1899-08-31
TWITT GOES ROWING.
MR.. M'NAGGeTT'S PLEASANT EXPERT
ENCES ONE FINE AFTERNOON.
Even II lie Didnt Succeed In Enjoy
Ing Himself quite In the Way lie
Had Expected, lie mt Least Had
Plenty of Exercise.

Inc little boat lay lnzily rising and
falling at the end of the pier, and its
principal ornament was Mrs. Twitt Nc
Naggett, who sat very gingery in the
stern and gave vent now and anon to
short ordinations, which might have
been meant as expressions Of joy, but
which, If so, were strangely misleading.
On the pier stood her liegc lord, n glo-
rious vision in white duck, with brass
buttons, tan shoes and neat yachting
cap.
His whiskers were freshly dyed and
he didn't look his age-55-by several
weeks.
He was talking to a group of pretty
girls, and fis soft, persuasive tones could
be heard above the din of the adjacent
factory whistle for it was high noon.
ooh, Mr.. McNaggett, we're afraid"
The youngest and prettiest said this,
with n coy giggle. which filled Mrs. Nc
Naggett's devoted heart with acute jcal-
ousy.
Don't ask them to go, Twtt," she
said. you know you can't row."
1t was an unfortunate remark.
Mr. McNaggett's face looked like
thundercloud vanished with vitriol as
he turned on his wife.
"Who can't row." he shouted. What
dye mean by sitting there and-and
making false statements? If there is one
thing can do it's row. If that's the
way you feel, why don't you get out and
go home ?"
Il will" retortcd his wife, with an an
noying show of spirit, and she climbed
ont Of the boat on to the dock, "and you
ought to be ashamed of yourself to talk
that way to your lawful welded wife"
Then she flew up the dock and was
lost to view.
Mr.. McNaggett gasped uncomfortably
and looked sncakingly at the group of
girls.
1t was evidently joke to them, for
they were laughing heartily.
So be drew deep breath and assumed
n dpbonair manner that he was far from
feeling.
"Wen, will you go?" he queried.
"Oh, yes" chorused the group. We'll
go little ways"
I'VE can all SWIM" was the cruel re-
mark Of one.
And you seem like a nice, strong,
careful old man." smiled another-the
president.
The word "old" almost killed Mr.. Nc
Naggett.
The Joy of the morning seemed 70 fade
away. and a black pail Of gloom fell upon
his soul
Had he toiled for two hours at those
whisliers, dycing even the back of his
neck and the tip of his nose, to be called
"old?"
lie "cast off, with heavy heart and
looked at his cargo of five sweet and
solid maidens with mixed emotions.
Then he sat down in the center seat
and picked up the oars in IA professional
manner.
A burst Of laughter came from his pas
sengers.
why, Mr.. McNaggett, you're sitting
the wrong way.
He was indeed facing the bow.
He turned clumsilyy almost upsetting
the boat and laughed in a CHASTITY way.
"Just did that to see il you'd notice IT, "
he said.
Then he plunged the oars into the wa
ter and pulled.
look out for that fishing boat" they
screamed.
They grazed it by a quarter of an inch
and were soon in midstrcam.
II want to go back" walled the youn-
gest maiden
80 do L." cried another.
But by this time Mr.. McNaggett was
doing very well.
Desperation nerved his arm, and, be-
sides, he was going with the food tide
full in his favor, though he did not know
this.
Its all right" he said. why, this
is easy"
1t did indeed. seem so.
They were going down the bay in fine
style, and his breast sweled with pride.
Cant row, ehT' he muttered. IL
only wish she could see me now"
In about half an hour one of the
young women said:
Hadn't we better turn back, Mr.. Nc
Naggett? You know luncheon is at !,
Wen Just about have time TO get there.
For answer the man at the oars nod
ded. He ceased rowing and proceeded
to back water" with his port oar while
he pulled with his starboard.
The boat took all bis strength to turn,
but at length he headed her up stream.
Then he drew long breath, settled
himself firmly in his seat and pulled
lie pulled again. He kept on pulling.
whats the matter, Mr.. McNaggettT
"Tide's pretty strong" he muttered.
"But we're going backward" scream
ed one.
He knew that. What fools women
were.
He gave eight more frantic pulls and
then dropped the oars in distress. The
women all screamed.
Il can't row any more" he gasped
with his hand on his side. IL think I'm
dying"
"Oh, you old wretch" shrieked the
prettiest girl, ito lure us ont here to be
| drowned"
But the eldest maiden was a girl OF
ideas.
you lie down in the bow" she said
to Mr.. McNaGgett sternly. Now. Rosie
you and Katie take one oar, and Mary
and l will take the other, Susie car
steer"
And in this ignomnious fashion they
reached the pier after an hours hart
work. and, of course. Mrs. McNsgget
had to be there on the lookout
ITS all your fault" said her husband
as they sncaked home through the grin
ming village "It wouldn't have hap
pened If you'd staid in the boat"
But the ridcule is too much for Mr.
| McNaggett. and he has decided to NOV,