davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27

Mr.. Beveridge, Indiana's new sena-
tor. was once a logger. He will find
several men in the senate who know
a whole lot about log-rolling, too.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27
A Minor Consideration.

What salary would you expect?'
asked the theatrical manager.
"In the dinner scene" demanded the
gifted but gaunt tragedian, who had
applied for a job, lis the meal served
a real one?"
1T is"
Then We will waive all discussions
as to salary" replied the tragedian.-
Answers.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27

The California fruit growers think a
Nicaragua canal would save them 49,
100000 year. Well, how much stock
would they take in it?
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27

Glass eyes are now made for pug
dogs so deceiving that it's impossible
for even the beast itself to see through
the deception.-Philadelp Times.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27

There are a good many high flyers"
IN this country, but the inventors of
flying machines are not in that cate
CORY.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27

The more intelligent man becomes
the less he thinks of himself and the
more he thinks of others.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27

Quizzer-"So he shuts his eyes to
his wifes temper fits. does he?"
Guyer-"Yes; she's deaf and dumb
and talks on her hands, you know"
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27

A girl thinks the wisdom of Solomon
insignificant when compared with the
smart sayings of her first beau.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27

Senator Quay is not exactly fighting
TO get reputation, but rather to get
lid of the one he has.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27

knowledge may be power, but it's
seldom powerful enough to move a
stubborn man.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27

Too many marriages are for publ
cation only and not as a guaranty of
good faith.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27

Nothing engages our interest and at
tention more than some of the things
that never happen.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27

Earthquakes are responsible for
much of the destruction wrought
round the shores of the Mediterranean,
for there was current superstition
that an earthquake came as a special
curse on place, and after one of
these visitations the locality was often
totally deserted. In places of rich
soils earthworms bring to the surface
an inch or two of ground every year,
while the winds, bearing clouds ef
dust, contribute their share to the
work of burying the ruins of de-
serted cities.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27

A good life is far more eloquent than
a good sermon.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27

Men censure women for painting, yet
they never saw an angel that wasn't
painted.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27

A small rent in a reputation soon
becomes a large hole.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27

We do nothing well till we learn
our worth, nothing best till we for
get it.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
SOME GOOD JOKES. ORIGINAL
AND SELECTED.

Variety OF Jokes-GIbes ana Ironics
Original and Selected-Flotsasr and
Jetsam from the Tide of HAnor-
witty Sayings
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27

When the lord mayor of Dublin pre-
sented to Charles Stuart Parnell from
the Irish people the Parnell tribute,
not less than $1S5, 900, his lordship nat
urally expected to make speech. The
lord mayor having been announced,
says Barry O'Brien in his biography Of
the Irish leader, he bowed and began:
"Mr. Parnell--" Il believe" said
Mr.. Parnell, you have got a check for
me-" The lord mayor, somewhat sur
prised at this interruption, said, Eyes"
and was about to recommence his
speech, when Parnell broke in: us it
made payable to order and crossed?"
The lord mayor again answered in the
affirmative and was resuming the dis
course, when Parnell took the check,
folded 1t neatly and put it in his waist
coat pocket. This ended the inter-
view
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27

The poor man never troubles himself
about the troubles OF the millionaire.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27
TALMAGE'S SERMON.
"a SUMMED HOUSE TRAGEDY"
SUNDAYS SUBJECT.

From Judges III, 10, as Follows; "But
When the Children of Israel Cried
Unto the Lord, the Lord Raised Them
Up "a Dellverer, Ehud. the Son of Gera."
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27
yHE GREATEST BOOK OF THE AGEl
Should be in Every Home and Library.
The PEOPLES BiDlG HiStOTQ

j. written b. Right Hon, William Ewart Gladstone.
E1-Premier of Great Britain and Ireland, Chester,
Eng; Rev. A. II. Sayoe, Queens College. Oxford, Engj
Rev. Samuel Ives Curtiss. ID: D. Chicago Theological
Seminary. Chicago III Rev. Frederic w. Farrar, d.,
FRS. Dean OF Canterbury, Canterbury, Eng; Rev,
Elmer H. CaPen. ID. Tufts College. Someryie, Mass
Hey 6aanK W ~ Arm9nf lnvtnie
zone Presbyterian Church, London, Eng Rev. X. s.
Macarthur, d. d., Calvary Baptist Church, New York
lity y. VI Rev. Martyr Summerbe b.D., Main
Street Free Baptist Church, Lewiston, Me Rev Frank
n Bristol D.D; First Methodist Episcopal Church,
ian Comm. nwealth" London, Eng Rev. Edward
tverett Haze, DID, south Congregational Church:
Boston, Mass; Rev, Joseph Agar Beet d. D.. Wesleyan
College. Richmond, Eng. Rev. Caspar Rene Gregory
Leipzig University, Leipzig Germany Rev. VIM.
Cleavor Wilkinson. ID d, University of Chicago, Chi
caRo, H.; Rev. Samuel Hart, DID, Trinity College.
Hartford Conn., Rev, j. MonIo bson, D. st. Johns
Wool Presbyterian Church, London Eng: Rev George
q Iorimer. LID, The Temple, Boston, Mass
POPlLAR EDlIION.-Si2 pages 81 ful-pape illustra.
lions gilt edges, cloth, $3.50; half levant, $780, full
GrAiiIO EDTTIoS-1,2cO pages, 200 fupage illustra-
tons. Style A-glt edges, full levant, one volume
flo style B-two vo umes, full levant, tufted SOOOi
in PARTS quartz size review questions 70 each. stiff
paper sewed, trimmed slightly $0 each part
For sale at all bookstores and by BOOKSELLERS; For
further information, write HENRY .. SHkPARp ;
Publisher 2l2 and pa Monroe Street. Chicago Ilinoh
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27

A pawnbroker may be dissipated. but
he's always willing to take the pledge.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27

A soldier who served in Cuba re-
lates that one night, after march, a
few of the boys pitched their tents
close to the tent of an officer OF an
other company. The boys were talk
ing quite loudly, as taps had not been
sounded Hush up out there!" shout
ed the officer, angrily. Who are your"
asked one of the boys. "I'll show you
who l am il 1 come out there!" was
the answer. The talking continued,
and out came the officer. His anger
was great, and he threatened to report
the men to their colonel, winding up
with, Don't you know enough to obey
an officer?" YES" replied one of the
boys, land we should have obeyed you
If you had had shoulder-straps on
your voice"
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27
STORY ES.

Canon MacColl tells an amusing
story. "A friend of mine" says the
canon, "once shared the box seat with
th>driver of the stage coach in York
shire, and, being a lover of horses, he
talked with the coachman about his
team, admiring one horse in particular.
All said the coachman. but that 'oss
amt as good as he looks; he's a sci
entifc 'css.' a scientific horse! ex-
claimed my friend. What on earth do
you mean by that?' I means replied
Jehu, "a 'oss as thinks he knows a deal
more nor he does
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1899-01-27

Some men adore their wives because
1t is either that or starvation.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-10-16
Petticoas Perfection.

Tho fashions IN p~tticoats change
Just as rapidly as does the shar. OF
the outersklrt. because. necessarily.
20 produce a good ne. they must each
conform 60 the shape Of the other
The silk unfeFpkirt OF tfls fall OF 20
r. just Rs sheath htting around the
hips "a It's sister the outer akirt and
then from the knee down II ten1pes-
tuousiy expands. For evening wear
the footing In killed. and even in
some cases bonad to assure a good
set out 10 the balance. The gorgeous
ness ~ the trimming on some Of the
new ones. IL seems almost impossible
TO describe. Lace In used In less pro-
fusion In inntirnsrabls ways. En-
broidered chiffon. frfiia. ehirrings OF
rnoussellne dc sole. tiny ruches Of
ribbons appear on some. while n very
up-to-fate notion f. Observable In
the composition Of Others In the 81.
fectlvs use Of frinRud ribbons.
charmingly punched into ruohss.
Tuckz. frilis Of all sorts 81 cobwebby
iacea. clusters Of application Of low
er patterns. and unheard Of olabora-
ton are used on every hand 70 such
repetition IN these elaborate creations
that one almost turns with relief TO
the palmer ones with their own gres,
fitness for wear. anf which derive
their adornmcnt from various cord
ingH. tuckings and flounees Of the
same silk.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-10-16
To Make an xylophone.

A Syiophans can be easily made by
any boy or Efri. Take large piece
OF black walnut or hickory. about
= OF an inch thick. cut out piece 20
inches ionE. and tapsrinE from Is TO
inches In width. Cut this board In
20 Is strips IL Inches wide and vary
in lengths from 20 IS inches. Bore
two parallel holes through the aide
% each OF these Is stripe Cor keyrl
large enough to- put cords through.
The holes should be "a inches apart.
To tune the bars lay them for the
time on two strips Of some soft ma
tsriNl. Sound each bar and tune u
by aid OF the plano. Find on the pi-
ano the note nearest the tone Of the
lowest bar. Then regulate the tone
of the bar II you wish 10 helEhtrn
tho tone. plane the bottom Of the
bar TIL the effect IL gained. To low
er u saw a slIt in the under side %
the bar. Thus bar after bar may be
made 20 correspond with the scale
q the piano or two octAvva Tn.
bars must then be fastened together
with string stretched through the
holes and tied at the ends. Glue two
haif-inch strips Of felt under the bars
for a cushion. The drumsticks can
he cut Of small blocks % wood. In
which the ends Of longer sticks are
glued.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-10-16
CANDIDATES
FOR ELECTION
Those Who Will Run For
School Director.

Rumor has II that tho coming
school election IL not TO be an alto
Fsaher quiet AFFAIR Several eandi-
dates have been announced aud II Is
said morn will bo heard from within
the next week. Politics aud party
squabbles will enter into tho election
It Is stated
The registration books have been
open since october 10 ana by noon
today only &c CITIZENS had registered.
30 far the names OF eight ladies ap-
pear on the books, The books viii
be closed on the evening OF Novem-
Der 70.
Dame Rumor has II that a prom
mont lady In social AFFAIRS has an
nouuced herself M a candidate. This
may act hu a warning to those
who have not ~ yet registered and
who are opposed 90 woman suffrage.
Thomas nevcn. the well known ein-
Rlc TaKer. Of tho First ward. Ia said
10 bs rounding up his followers for
registration. but as yet he has not
ahnaVnced his candidate.
Ta.&Rhmes Of q, V. Calhoun and
y. 9. Hughes appear as two candi-
dates for the election TO the board
Of education.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-10-16
The White House Letter Box

An amusing thing that we fire.
quentIy nee at the White House"
said one Of the attaches there. ia the
mailing OF letters In the White House
letter boz In the yestlbuie Just before
entering the east room. Some Of
them decide 10 mail letters there. be-
liavtnE that these letters will con-
tain the stamp Of the white House.
or course IL would be n great thing
for n distant relative TO receive n
letter poatmsrked at the White
House The other day an intelligent
looking woman. accompanied BY sew
erai grown daughters. aaked me to
lend her a lead pencil / heard her
say'won't II b. lovely TO mail them
letter from here. aud Jet them see
that we've been 60 the presidents
homer. She proceeded to write for
some time. secured an envelope. adj
dressed It and then proudly dropped
the epistis In our letter box. She
vent OF with radiant face. She
was sure that all her nesghbors and
friends for miles around would hear
- tina, letter mailed from the White
HOUSE. aud she would be besieged
with inquiries on her return. She
viii learn her mistake. The letter
box here does not differ in any way
from those on the streets"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-10-16
Why Ne Stays Single.

Possibly the best known unmarried
man OF letters today IL Henry James
the novelist. He maintains stoutly
that the artist, no matter what the
medium Of his expression. should re-
main single, on the ground that the
petty cares and earnings OF domestic
life tend 20 wear on delicately adj
3usted nerves. and exhaust the men
cal fiber Of genius. whether it's pos
ssssor be n painter 81 pictures. "A
worker IN words. a modeler Of stat
uss. a composer OF music, a singer. or
one who srnuses the people on the
stage. There be some. undoubtedly.
who will surmiss from this that Mr..
James has been unfortunate in the
choice OF his married friends. hut
others. perhaps. will agree with him
fully. His bachelor apartments IN
London are said TO be exquisite In
furnishings and appointments. and
despite his cynicisrn, the novelist IL
not disiiked by women. nor 10 he a
halter OF the sex.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-10-16
Population at Next Census.

The distinguished statlstioIan, VI.
o. Hulhall. who for many years has
found a favorite study In the devel-
opnnent Of the resources Of our great
republic contributes 20 the October
number OF the North American Re
view a startling article entitled
Five Years Of American Progress"
His statements and figures conHtl-
tute a marvellous exhibit Of national
strength and prosperity. Mr.. Mul-
hall ventures a prediction as 10 the
population OF the United States at
the next census:
The decline OF immigration may
be traced directly 10 the vexatiGuB
regulations against what ore called
European paupsrss but SC ~ not 20
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-10-16
Must Carry His Cross.

ON returning from the barn early
one morning the old man found his
wife in tears
Watcher eryin' bout. Meilsay."
he inquired.
=" sNughRr--one-uv cur dartera-
was stole las night, she aAid.
The fed-hsadcd onrf' he asked.
iacanicaiiy.
"Yes-pote Mag-shc was the bes.
gal"
Bob scuttiesf"
'+uv course. hasn't been no other
Teller w&i,in' on her. Amt you Euin'
to pursueo after 'em an arrest I'm p
"Uv course not. he replied stern
IS. ~I'm not under obligations 20
help Bob seugties cut Nv iifneulty.
Let him go ahead ard work oui his
sentence. sams's I've ben a-d0ln' fur
the las forty years
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-10-16
Hum0r Of the Day.

"t'h admit one good thing In Ann
erican civilization" said the Cornfsd
Philosopher. There n no unwritten
law against a hero going 10 work II
he can set Eood Job"
''IiAs your wife ever studied do
nestle economy
~ gu bet. She's a postmaster tn
that science. Why. 4ss. - 81 ne.srny
enough gas by having us take our
meals out during the summer to pay
for her fall hat,
servAnt-pieAae. ma'am there IL an
old man at the door with wooden
lsEsi'
Mnstresz-Teu him NO don't want
any.
Tripp-The bicycle school started
with a good attendance.
Topp-hut I suppose the attend
anee fell OF.
The man whom I marry" said the
widow. must be a hero"
lie will be-" remarked tho savage
bachelor.
Uncle Reuben inquired the city
young lady. who was spending few
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-10-16
THE FLORISTS SAY:

That the bulb fever IL spreading
rapidly among amateur enthuaiasts.
That II viii soon be time to get
those spring boomers I'm the ground
II we would have them at their best
in March and April and May OF
1900
That the different hardy lilies may
be suecessfully planted at the same
time as the hyacInths. tulips. etc,
instead az waiting until spring.
That the tuberoua roots of the
peonles should also be planted In the
fall. ready for the early spring
growth.
That the tri-colorcd geranlum,
happy thought. ~ now the favorlto
for constant winter blooming
That the white Swan IN one Of the
rarest and handaomcst OF the double
blooming Reraniuma.
That the many oolored cnelua are
being slipped for the window garden
wherever bright. sunny windows
may be given tho plants.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-10-16
anime
Pianos

A private wire from Chicago
informs US that tho Chicago
piano factories are about TO close
down. I'm sympathy with the
Eastern strikes
whA. with Advancing prices.
and an absolute famine IN pianos.
prices win be At least so higher
BY the first OF the year. Some
houses In the city have already
advanced. Jus. n gentle hint;
That plano you were going to
buy at chrIstmas.- would IL not
be well 10 como IN and inspect
our stock and make your selec-
tion nowf For q small down
payment we will reserve q plano
90 days. OF course. the houses
who have been getting 900 per
cent profit heretofore. viii not
be affected as to their retail pric-
es. hut why par eueh profits.
Our wholesale prices are open for
inspection. We want 30 profit
on each piano we sell. But We
cannot guarantee a selection, or
present prices long.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-10-16

easy To- account for the diminished
rate 81 natural increase. We must
suppose either a higher death rate
or a lower birth rate, and the form
er il the. more probable, In view OF
the exceedingly rapid growth OF ur-
ban population while there 10 no rsa-
son 70 suppose declining birth
rate. In fact. 10 Judge by European
countries. the birth rate ~ towns y
unusually higher than that Of rural
Districts Il may b. well hers TO oh
serve that. according to the growth
Of population In the last ave years
the census Of 1900 ought 70 show H.
so. 900 Inhabitants
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-10-16
new CONSOLIDATED
FRANCHISE MAY NOT
Be DEMANDED NOW

lines " Seattle may not DC
followed by a newt franchise n Immediate future
this The capitalists VINO nav
New Jersey have only saeees ~
various rest '
than they to pay al
consolidated FRANCHISE woah 10 away
with fully OF the present receipts,
present the different lines ,h
surplus what would n
transfer system IN
oshe II a iiul wishes 70 80 70 haAa
the round r cents on the uh9n
Trunk street line II these oAas
wsrr run under franchise H would set
tho operation OF
The Front Street cable V 70 be made
the hills The lke n'rst
10 Pike Junction With Aedeen on
Twelfth Prom this point and cecic hne VIII run TO-
the City Park tapping a territory
Seventeenth avenue toward bea-
hill o. Important station
Junction 1t furthermore
the lake
lire 10 be down oSef FHth avenue
preparation Tor presentation 10
the council.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-10-16
LARYNX.
IrHe Cured Me Of Deafness. I"

NV deafness osms on about sia years ago,
with bad ringing noises In my head, which
troubled me greatly in conversation. l had
q ask people 10 raise their voices when speak.
ing 20 me. and around tho table ! uould only
hear tho sound ~ thoir voices. hut could not
catch a word. Nv hearing rapidly improved
under DI Reeves treatment ! now hear
god and the ringing noises have entirely
stopped"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-10-16
lie Saved NY Eyes. "

Ny eyes we're 80 had | had 20 stop reading
entirely The dizziness, the hlurrins and pain
around the eyes made me fear total blindness
Dr. Reeves master over diseases ai the eyes
Il certainly vosderful I can now see good,
and. best Of all can read with comfort |
vas cured Ia q short time, while other doe
tors tempered With my eyes for the past ak
years. -
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-10-16
DR.. Powell Reeves
Successful Physician! The u Surgeon The Eminent Special
list! Frend The Worlds Bcncactor Perma-
nently Located! Consult Him This Day! The
Noble Work a Great Specialist

he of
Ia
ambition which and business
further life and the
and Thousands throughout British
doing for suffering humanity
below worth the careful
prumo all in o medic
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-10-16

Word has been received from Vic
soria this afternoon stating that the
steamer Diriso would arrive hers to-
morrow morning with a million and
quarter dollars OF gold and 5B0
funH of rah
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-10-16

Here r. a stupid editor who says
These are busting times"
What Of itT''
why. there never Was n time when
there WAS less suggestion Of busties
than there ir now
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1899-10-16
Gle Cured Ny Stomach. "

Before consulted Dr. Reeves NV stomach
sns very bad. The severe pains, bflchinK,
HoatinRu, and SOUR riatugs were awful !
oat forty pounds IN lea than q year. | thank
1ad IL was my fortune to so 10 this great
doctor. who cured me"