The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1899-06-07
TT is EMBARRASSING.
SITUATIONS THAT ARE AGONIzING TO
MRS. COUNTRIFIED.

Though She IL Well Bred and Has
Nice Things nt Home. the Ever
Changing Etiquette of the Swell
City Dinner Bothers Her.
"It was Splendid, she exclaimed, her
cheeks aglow and her eyes bright with ex
sitement "Seven courses-not counting
the oyster cocktail to begin with-and I
never made a misstroke with fork or knife,
and there was no end of brand new imple-
ments too. I came near making terrible
miscue, though, with the oyster cocktail.
You see, the dining room was rather dark,
being lighted only with pink shaded can
dies, and in the gloom the cocktail looked
just like sherbet. couldn't imagine, of
course, what sherbet was doing there at
that time, but it was not mine to reason
why, and so I plunged boldly in, resolved
to do or die with the first weapon that
seemed at all fitted to meet the sherbet
emergency, and came dreadfully near to
dying with modification. For fraction
Of second I hesitated between long,
slim handled spoon and q short, fat, gold
lined one, and then, with what consider
ed marvellous forethought, decided the
long, slim handled one could better be
spared for future contingencies and select
ed the short, fat one. And was just tot
tering on the brink Of that cocktail with
it in my fingers when I looked up and be-
held the hostess eating hers with an oyster
lei
SO stunned, and had great difficulty in
making anything like my usual dexterous
lightning change didn't fully recover
from the shock until we'll into the soup.
but the best part of the luncheon, aft
er all, was that there was another country
relation there besides myself. She sat right
opposite me, poor thing, and just gloated
over her misery. If anything, she was
more of freshman than because she had
not been graduated from the waiting to
see what others do stage and with each
new course placed before her could see
the terrible mental struggle that was 60
ing on and knew just how her mind was
being torn with doubts between the long
tined fork for the entree and the short
thin one for the salad. Oh, it was pitiful
the way her poor little country relation
fingers trembled over the kTives and forks
and spoons. I knew she felt just the way
you do when you watch the dentist hunt
ing around among his tools for some new
instrument to torture you with. Really I
sympathized with her from the bottom OF
my heart, but could not resist the temp
tation to lead her astray once or twice, and
honestly it was the best kind Of lesson,
for it will teach her the folly Of the wait
ing to see what others do habit. That is
such weak, vacillating policy, you know,
that really by the time the salad Is reached
you haven't a mind Of your own left, and,
besides, it demands such an unrelenting
surveillance over the other guests that
your tongue, which should be your most
powerful ally in concealing your igno-
rance, is efectually bridled, and the mark
of the country relation is branded upon
you as certainly as though you had looked
at some dish the butler was serving and
had refused to take any-and that reminds
me Of how I once forgot the exception to
the rule and did something atrociously
worse.
"It was some time ago, when 1t was the
custom to pass great heaping baskets of
fruit. 1t was altogether a decorative
course, and the guests were expected to
take grape or two or a fresh fig with
which the basket was ornamented and
leave the foundation Of larger fruit undis-
turbed. AS I saw the basket making the
circuit of the table was so overcome with
fear that an orange would be thrust upon
me and that would not know the latest
method Of dissecting it, that when the
butler finally reached me and saw big
yellow banana exposed I grabbed for 1t
ravenously, as though I had not tasted
food in weeks. happened to be almost
the last one, and as glanced up saw in
an instant what had done. There were
all the other guests daintily nibbling at
tiny grape or q fig and there was that
ghastly, hideous, awful banana In front
of me.
"Iwas younger then, and presume my
imagination was more highly keyed up.
At any rate that banana held me In hor-
rible spell-fascinated me. couldn't get
my mind away from it. And as sat there,
with my eyes glued upon it, 1t seemed to
change into a horrible, monstrous, grin
ming thing that leered at me and taunted
me with my poor country bred manners.
"Of course it was trivial, insignificant
thing, and I doubt whether any Of the
guests noticed 1t at all, but had been an
ticipating and dre&ing that luncheon so
long and my nerves were so oyerwrought
that when the affair was all over and the
hateful thing had been removed actually
was on the verge Of nervous prostration,
and I registered VOW that never as long
as lived would I be enticed away from
my own humble table again.
"Oh, of course you who live upon such
dinners every day Of your lives, " the young
woman went on, noticing for the first time
the look of polite amazement on her visit
or's face, "cannot appreciate the state OF
mind of country bred woman in moder-
ate circumstances when she receives an
invitation to a large dinner party from
one of her city friends, but 1t Is the event
Of the year to her-the thing most to be
looked forward to and dreaded She Is not
an ignorant nor an i'll bred woman, and
she has lots Of pretty things Of her own at
home, but in the rural environment In
which she lives 1t Is impossible for her to
keep up on all the newest dishes and the
methods Of serving them at fashionable
course dinner, and when she goes to one
and commits no conspicuous blunder she
is naturally elated, just as am. must
confess, though, that the times when l
have felt proud of myself have more than
been offset by the thought Of the glaring
mistakes I and the other rambers OF my
family have made. New York Press.
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