The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1899-01-10

the spoiled husband. His wife breads
him; his children fear and deceive him.
Marriage should be a mutual yielding,
not a total REIMBURSEMENT on one side
and usurpation on the other. Several
times in my life I have been warned,
Don't mention so and,so before Mr..
; he doesn't like him." or "he
doesn't believe in it," 1t must be a
good deal like living over a gun.
powder magazine to have a husband
who gets angry at mention of the sec.
rotary Of war, or bicycle girls, or a
theology he doesn't believe in; and
who makes such a spectacle of himself
iu his wrath that visitors must be
warned to keep off the conversational
grass.
know a man who, like a spoiled
child, cannot bear contradiction or op.
position. "What I say goesl' is his
motto. He takes all kind of silly and
unreasonable freaks to which his wife
must subscribe unquestioningly. If he
dislikes a preacher she is not allowed
to go to his church; a person she must
not be friendly-even civil. If he
wishes her to go anywhere with him.
she must leave the bread in the oven,
if so happens, and go; if he elects she
shall stay at home, she stays, with no
reference to individual wishes. In
truSh, she spoiled him in the early
days Of their married life. When he
called Jennie" she dropped every.
thing and ram. She obeyed his wishes
in every particular, dropping her rel
atives and friends because he didn't
like them. I've seen him interrupt a
tete.a tete to call her to his side to ex
plain some inconsequent point Of fact
that he thought she ought to know, as
if he were q schoolmaster and she his
pupil. And the unchecked habit grew
until now If he chose to get up at
midnight and drive ten miles into the
country in a rainstorm she would rise
meekly, dress and go with him. And
ye5 he loves her-or thinks he does.
Too much grumbling isn't good for a
m n 1t spoils his disposition and ones
pride in him as a husband. A good
many men do their growing over their
~meals-like the dogs. Faultfinding is
not a pleasant family diet. Once I
heard a story-it was a true story-of
a little woman who undertook to
cure a grumbler. He had a way OF
tasting a dish at table and declaring it
was not fit to eat. Then he would go
ahead and eat it. One day she served
a pudding for desert. With the first
spoonful he declared, "Humph, your
pudding isn't fit to eat. What's the
matter with it3"
The little lady at the end of the
tabe tested the pudding ana exolaim,
ing, You're perfectly right! Ii isn't
ht to eatl" caught up his plateful,
emptied it into the pudding dish, sent
her own after it. and before he could
wink, deposited it all in the garbage
pail. Perfectly good. hundred and
smiling she returned to the table and
brough out some cookies, saying she
was so sorry, but il he'd make out that
time she'd try again next day. Another
pudding on the same rule was served
next day, and she cheerfully remarked
she hoped it would be good. It vas
a5 least is was eaten without comment.
Once or twice atterWard the experience
was repeated, when something was
mot fE to eat" and the cure was
complete.
Some women spoil their husbands
by hydropathic treatment. Like Job
Trotter, they a weep at a moments
warming. A man hates to see a woman
cry, and for a time her tears make him
feel himself q brute and he will be sor.
ry and apologize. But tears are an
unreliable argument; the feeling wears
off with repetition and is succeeded by
one of annoyance and evaporation.
Nor can she afford to make constant
demands OF his sympathy through
complaints. A perennial headache
soon gets to be an old story.
The woman who wants her husband
to be c~onsiderRte Of h8r in her age
mustn't spoil him in their married
youth. She must not make him selfish
by her unselfishness, nor alternate him
by strenut us instance in her rights"
Tact will win her more of the latter
than downright self assertion, for
many a man can be led who cannot be
driven. The way to not spoil a hi g.
band is to take a long look ahead"
and by study of his character keep
him from falling into habits of think
ing and doing that you feel Will bring