davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-02-24
Value of q Comma.

A Prussian school inspector appeared
at the office of the burgomaster of lit
tie town to ask him to accompany him
on tour of inspection through the
schools.
The burgomaster was out of sorts.
and was heard to mutter to himself:
"What is this donkey here again
for?''
The inspector said nothing, but wait
ed his time, and with the unwilling
burgomaster set out on his tour.
At the first school he announced his
wish to see how well punctuation was
taught
s.Oh, never mind that" grumbled
the burgomaster. "We don't care fo1
commas and such trifes.
But the inspector sent a boy to the
blackboard and ordered him to write:
s.The burgomaster of R. says, the in
spector is donkey
Then he ordered him to transpose the
comma, placing it after r., and to in
sert another one after inspector. and
the boy wrote:
ssThe burgomaster of R.. says the in
spector, is donkey.
It is probable that the refractory off
cial gained new idea of the value OF
commas and such trihes. London
Tit-Bits.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-02-24
The Wnman oft.

The Philadelphia Record says: Sal
most the first thing visitor does upon
entering the room in which the Declara-
tion of Independence was signed is to
add his autograph to the vast collec-
tion of more than 20 years. The custo-
dian of the book few days ago, in
speaking of his experience, said You
wouldn't believe it, but we have had
only two attempts to mutilate the regis
ter or to write anything in it except
names and addresses, and on both Of
those occasions the culprits were wo-
men.
There's another strange thing
about the visitors, he continued. OF
the thousands who come here the only
ones we have any trouble with are the
women. We have tape stretched across
all those chairs, he said, as he pointed
to long line of eats Of the mighty,
as it were-chairs of the signers-'to
prevent people from sitting in them.
Well, one woman only yesterday want
ed us to cut the tape for her, because
she claimed she was descendant of one
of the signers and thought she had a
right to sit in his chair, and she went
away mad when we wouldn't make an
exception in her case.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-02-24
Hi. Mustard Plaster.

The mustard plaster is harmless
looking wafer, but it must be handled
with as much circumspection as a
woman. There was a newly married
man once whose wife told him to put
on a mustard plaster to cure cold. He
had faith in her and put it on. Then
he went to sleep, being gifted with the
power of sleeping under torments which
is not given to one man in thousand.
The plaster seemed to him somewhat
unreasonably hot, but he argued that
the hotter it was the better. Besides,
he had confidence in his wife. Next day
he found a well developed blister on his
chest, and his wife only laughed and
said she had supposed any one would
have sense enough to take off a plaster
when it hurt him. Though that was II
months ago, the mark of the plaster is
still upon the man like brand, and he
now regards his wife's remedies with
suspicion. ~
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-02-24
Thousands Have Kidney Trouble and
Don't Know It.

There is disease prevailing in this
country most dangerous because SO de-
ceptive. Many sudden deaths are
caused by it--heart disease, pneumonia
heart failure or ai,oplexy ae often the
result of kidney disease. If kidney trou-
BILE is allowed to advance the kidney
poison In the blood is liable to attack
the vital organs, or the kidneys them
selves break down and waste away cell
by cell. Then the richness of the blood
the albumen leaks out and the suf-
ferer has Brlght's disease, the worst form
OF kidney trouble. Kidney lronhle can
be detected. although it be slow and de-
ceptive First, by analysis OF the urine;
second, by the simple test OF setting the
urine aside in "A glass or hottie for "a
hours, when cloudy or brick dust set
tling indicates it.
T. WAS for just such troubles that Ia
Hi. infinite power and goodness The
Great Physician caueed Swamp Root to
grow for the benefit of suffering man
kind, leaving IT, for bis servant, DR.. Kill
ner, the reat kidney and bladder spec
ialtist to discover it aud make II known
to the world. lis wonderful efficacy ~
promptly curing the most distressing
cases is truly marvellous. You may have
a sample bottle of Dr.. Klmer'S S1anp-
Root The great kidney. liver and bladder
remedy, by mail free Address DR.. Kill
mer & Co, Binghamton, n. I When
wiring mention this paper. Druggists,
in fifty-cent or dollar sizes.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-02-24
Railway Rate Conference.

Washington, Feb 1S.-The conference
here Thursday between the Trunk line
railway presidents and the interstate
commerce commission closed the con-
ferences here for the present, except in
the event of a radical change in the
freight rate situation The result of the
conferences, it is stated, has been that
every road has maintained the rates
mutually fixed. Many roads, it is stated,
have put in new tariffs to conform to
those of other roads. This general uni
form movement, it was added, has
brought about a considerable reduction
in the published rates.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-02-24
NATIONAL LEGISLATURE.
Proceedings of the Lawmakers In Senate
and House.


Washington, Feb. 18-Following is
the business done by the senate yester-
day: Resolution Of sympathy for the
death of Faure sent to France; navy
personnel bill passed with amendments
and conference committee appointed:
seventy-four private pension bills put
through, including that for General Pal
mer, of Illinois; river and harbor bill
reported; Alaska code bill read; Gre
dentials of Senator elect Beverage, of
Indiana, filed.
The house passed the sundry civil bill,
rejecting the motion to recommit with
Instructions to add the Nicaragua canal
appropriations; took up and completed
half the navy appropriation bill; au-
thorized the president to appoint addi-
tional cadets-at-large to West Point,
and at the night session passed fifty
seven private pension bills.
Washington, Feb. 20.-The senate
spent most of Saturday on the post
office appropriation BILL but failed to
complete it, An amendment increasing
the appropriation and designed to ex-
tend the pneumatic tube system to- Chi
cago. was tabled. A number of bills
of minor Importance were passed.
Tributes to the memory of the late
Representative Simpkins, of Massachu-
sets, were pronounced.
The house spent two hours upon the
naval appropriation bill without max
ing any progress, and devoted the re-
mainder of the session to eulogies upon
the life and public services of the late
Representative Northway, Of Ohio.
Washington, Feb. 21.-The senate took
up the pOstoffice appropriation yester-
day, and made the army reOrganiZa-
ton bill the unfinished business, thus
shelving the anti-scalping bill for this
session, the vote on this being Al to 26.
Some unlmportant business was trans
acted and an executive session held.
The house passed a bill appropriate
ing $20,G00,000 to pay Spain for the
Philippines, refusing to add declara-
tory resolution as to the policy TO be
pursued in these islands, tn e vote against
such resolution being 213 to "a. The
bill to reimburse states for expenses of
the Spanish war was passed. An at
tempt to appropriate 100000 for the
Buffalo Pan-American exposition was
defeated, not coming to a vote for lack
of quorum.
Washington, Feb. 22-The senate yes
terday passed the postoffice appropria-
ton, and spent the remainder of the day
discussing the army reorganization bill
Cockrell gave notice that the bill could
not pass at this session, because the
Democrats would insist on more time
for discussion than the ten days re-
naming of the session.
The house passed some unimportant
measures and put in, most of the day
on the navy appropriation reaching the
last page. The report on the status of
members who accepted commissions in
the army was presented. 1t holds that
those accepting vacated their seats in
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-02-24
Old and New.

An English newspaper contains an
interesting parallel, discovered by a
classical scholar. First comes a transla-
tion from the original Greek of Anti
pater of Thessalonica:
Once upon time, when a ship was
shattered at sea, two men fell at strife,
fighting for one plank. Antagoras struck
away Pisistratus. One could not blame
him; it was for his life. But justice
took cognizance. The other swan
ashore; but him (Antagoras) dogfsh
seized. Surely, the avenger of the fates
rests not, even in the watery deep.
Then an incident recorded in the Lon
don Chronicle serves to translate the
story into modern event and to show
how life repeats itself:
Two bluejackets, named Friday and
Painter, We're capsized from boat at
Weymouth After a struggle to get into
the waterlogged boat Friday beat his
comrade off, and Painter swan ashore.
Friday got into the boat and was drown
Oh
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-02-24
show Your Best Qualities.

Honesty does not require us to hang
our oil paintings faced to the wall in
order that our friends may see that
they are made on coarse canvas. 1t is
right to appear always at our best.
Give the world your brightest thoughts,
your most courteous speech, the out
come of your kindest impulses and
purest motives, no matter if you are
conscious that these things are above
your ordinary level God made the
flowers show their colors, not their
dull, fbrous matter; to load the all
with their odors, not with the rank
ness of their sap. -Homiletic Review
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-02-24
Thursday, Feb. %.

John B. Lynch, pioneer commission
merchant of Chicago, died from heart
failure.
The railroad from Skaguay to the
summit of White Pass, Alaska, was
opened Monday.
Another rich vein of gold ore is re-
rorted to have been found in the Isa-
bella mine at Cripple Creek.
A Joint protest from the United States
and Great Britain to Germany is under
preparation in regard to Germany's
action in Samoa.
Professor r. W. Wood, Of the Wiscon
sin university, has discovered method
of thawing frozen water pipes by the
use of electricity.
The Highland Boy mine of Bingham.
Utah, has been sold to capitalists in the
Standard Oil company for a sum ap-
proximating $4,000, 600.
J. r. Thompson, chaplain of the First
Washington volunteers whose death at
Manila is reported, was one of the best
known ministers of Washington.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-02-24
vORACIOUS LITTLE ROBINS.
Each Required Fourteen Yards of
Angieworms Every Day.

Each Required Fourteen Yards of
AnGIeworms Every Day.
A would be philanthropist relates his
experiences trying to play mother to
nest of little robins, which had by some
accident been deprived of their rightful
mothers care. He diligently set to
work digging angleworms, and sup
posed that he was fulfilling his whole
duty, when one of the poor little songs
body, which was reduced to skin and
bone, the foster parent came to the con-
clusion that it must have oIed of starv-
alton.
Deeply grieved at his shortcoming,
he redoubled his efforts, determined to
at least save the other two 1t was not
long, however, before second one died,
evidently of the same malady The good
man then resolved that, whatever the
third one died of, it should not be
starvation, and took off his coat and
went to work in earnest. He kept on
with the apgleworm diet until he found
that his one little bird was consuming
from IA to IS yards of angleworms a
day. This was too much for his pa
thence, and he proceeded to substitute
the more easily managed diet of bread
and milk and other delic&cies, which
were, however, not nearly so much to
Miss Robin taste.
Wanting to discover whether he had
been catering to a family of abnormal
appetites, our friend took to watching
the methods of a real mother bird and
found that she fed her young every two
minutes. He then consulted the learned
books upon birds and discovered that
IA yards of worms a day, with meals
every two minutes, is the average rate
of feeding fiedgelings. He has therefore
decided that he does not care to take
up raising. birds by hand as business.
Boston Transcript.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-02-24
He Got the Ad.

''You re not on that horrid paper,
are you, cried the girl who speaks her
mind, though l did once meet re-
porter from it who was rather nice?
He came to see about getting an adver-
tisement- tWhat Not "a reporter
Why, I thought he was. Well, anyway
had lost a dog, and he said he had
heard of it and wanted to know if l
didn' want to advertise in his paper
for it. I told him Ididn't believe l
liked his old paper, and he said he
didn think much of it himself, but he
thought it was pretty apt to reach the
class of people who stole dogs. And SO
since he was so polite about it |
thought might as well advertise in it.
But l didn't get the dog. New York
Commercial Advertiser.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-02-24
Friday, Feb. II.

Lie. tenan, Horace W. Wake,ey, one
of Roosevelt Rough Riders, whose
home is in Shelbyville, Ind, is in Chi
cage, seeking the widow of Sergeant w.
T. Erwin, who was killed at La Qua
simas, Cuba.
A chemical trust, with $4,000, 900 capt.
tai, has been incorporated at Albany,
N Y.
Albert Berg, secretary of state of
Minnesota, narrowly escaped death at
Washington through inadvertently TAX
ing an overdose of a patent medicine
containing choral.
Parito, believed to be the last Yaqui
Indian in California, is dead. He was
10S years old.
Archduke John of Austria, alias John
Orth, is reported to be living on farm
in the Argentine Republic with his NOR
ganatic wife.
Mrs Fannie Humphreys Gaffney of
New York, was elected president of the
National Council of Women.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-02-24
Saturday. Feb. IS.

The will of Mrs. Celinda M. Busch, of
Austin Chicago suburb, leaves all of
her s.. 500 estate to Methodist organiza-
tions and the w. C. T. u, except 81, be-
queathed to her husband.
The grand jury has returned an in
dictment against Councilman Charles
E. Cimiotti of Louisville, KY, charging
him with soliciting a bride.
John P. Marlin, who has been city
editor Of the Green Bay (Wis.) aAdvo-
cate the past year, has passed the ex-
animation for fireman on the -Milwau-
kee road.
General Gomez is sick at Cienfuegos,
where he was stricken while on his way
to Havana.
The strike of Panama railroad labor
ers has ended, the company having
agreed to advance wages to $3.50 a day
in Colombian currency.
DR.. Thomas j. Burlington, aged rs
years. and Miss Fannie Conrad, aged
IL, both of Baton Rouge, were married
at New Orleans. HF
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-02-24
The President at Boston.

Boston, Feb. 1.-THE arrival of Presi-
dent Mckinley and party in this city
as the guest of the Home Market club
was surrounded with all the dignified
ceremony due visit of the chief magis-
trate. The browning event of the visit
was the banquet at Mechanics hall last
night, and the presidents speech. It was
the largest banquet ever arragned in
this country, the exact number of per-
sons who were served being 1914. Be-
sides these there were fully $500 spec
tators in the balconies.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-02-24

Legislative Inquisitors Put in a Busy Day
with Their Probes.
Golt Citu Utah Fnb % -Th a

Salt Lake CITY, Utah, FEB. Z2.-Ihe
legislative investigating commission
held two sessions yesterday and an
other last night. When the committee
met yesterday morning additional
charges filed by Representative Law
were read. A sworn statement from
A. w. McCune was then read in which
he denied in detail the statements con-
tanned in the supplemental charges. F.
o. Horne, Of the Wahsatch drug store,
testified that Law and McCune were in
his store on Saturday last; that after
they left Law returned to the store and
spoke of the conversation with Nc
Cune, and that Law had said he would
accept $1,000, but would not go below
that
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-02-24
TREACHEROUS TAGALS
Scheme They Had Perfected for
a Massacre at Manila
on Feb. rs.
DEATH FOR ALL NON-FILIPINOs,
Americans Being Put on the Pro-
gramme for Special Ex-
termination.

Full Instructions for the Execution of a
Plan That Would Have Made the Streets
of Manila Run Red with the Blood of
Caucasians and All other Residents Eek
cept Natiyes-No Quarter for age, Sex or
Condition-But IL Did Not Work.
Washington, Feb. 22.-The following
dispatch was received yesterday after
noon from General Otis, dated Manila,
Feb. 81 and addressed to the adjutant
general: THE following was issued by
an important officer of the insurgent
government at MalolCs, Feb. Is, 1892 for
execution during that evening and night
in this city:
First, you will so dispose that at s
o'clock at night the individuals of the
territorial militia at your order will be
found united in all of the streets of
San Pedro, armed with their balos and
revolvers, or guns and ammunition, if
convenient.
Second, Philippine families only will
be respected. They should not be
molested, but all other individuals of
whatever race they may be will be
eXterminated without any compassion
after the determination of the army of
occupation.
Must Exterminate the Americans.
Third, the defenders of the Philip
pines in your command will attack the
guard at Bilibid and liberate the pris-
.oners and presidiarios, and having ac-
cOmplished this they will be armed,
saying to them: E. Brothers. we must
aVenge ourselves on the Americans and
exterminate them, that we may take
our revenge for the infamy and treach-
cry which they have committed upon
us; have no compassion upon them; at
tack with vigor. All Filipinos en- masse
will second you-Long live Filipinos
independence
Lays Down the Plan of Attack.
Fifth, the order which will be fol-
lowed in the attack will be as follows:
The sharpshooters of Tondo and Santa
Ana will begin the attack from without,
and these shots will be the signal for
the militia of Troso Binondo, Quiato
and Sampaloe to go out into the street
and do their duty; those Of Pake, Ermita
and Malate, Santa Cruz and San Miguel
will not start out until IL o'clock, unless
they see that their companions need
assistance.
Either Independence or Death.
Sixth, the militia of Tondo will start
out at o'clock in the morning; if all do
their duty our revenge will be COM
plete.
Brothers, Europe contemplates us;
our blood in defense of the liberty of
our country. Death to the tyrants
War without quarter to the false Amer
leans who have deceived us.
Either independence or DEATH.
There is no fourth" paragraph in the
insurgent statement as furnished to the
press.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-02-24
$3.50 SENT FREE!

The Well known Physician ard
Specials, FRANKLIN MILES,
NJ. NJ, L. L. r., of Chicago, VIII
send $3.50 worth of his new and
Complete Treatment Free ~
Each of our Readers.
There was never better opportunity
for persons suffering from diseases of the
nerves, brain, heart, liver, or stomach to
test free of expense, a New and Complete
Treatment for these disorders. DR.. Miles
is we'll and favorably known as leading
specialist in these diseases, and his liber-
al offer is certainly worthy of serious
consideration by every Athlete reader.
This new system OF special treatment
is thoroughly scientific and immensely
superior to the ordinary methods. 1t
consists of several remedies carefully Sc.
lected TO suit each individual case and is
the final result of twenty-five years of
very extensive research aud experience In
treating this class of disorders. 1t con-
sists of IA curative laxative, tonic tablets.
laxative pills, and usually q plaster, Sc
lected to meet the requirements OF each
case. Extensive statistics clearly dem-
onsi ate that DIR. Miles New and Com
plete Treat ment is three times as success
ful as the usual treatment.
Thousandsof remarkable testimonials
from prominent people will be sent npon
request which prove the doctor to be one
1of the worlds greatest physciaus.
/ Col. E. B. Spleen al of the 9Th United
States Regulars, located at San Diego,
Cal, says: DR.. Miles Special Treat
ment has worked wonders with my sons
case when all g So failed. / had employ
ed the best medical talent and had spent
$4,000 in SO doing. I believe he is Won
derful specialist. I consider it my duty
to recommend him." "You cured me of
years of inherited headache and dizz-
ness" writes Truman De Weese, editor
Chicago Times Herald" For years had
severe trouble with my stomach, head,
heart, neuralgia, sinking spells, and
dropsy Your treatment entirely cured
me-" writes Mr.. W. A. Warren of James
town, N. Y.
AS all afflicted readers may have $3.50
worth of treatment especially adapted to
their case, free, with full directions, we
would advise them to send for it at once.
Address, Dr. FRANKLIN MILES, 18th
Floor, Masonic Temple, Chicago.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-02-24
Sold Tickets on Esl,l.

1t is good to be celebrity, and it is
sometimes profitable merely to recog-
nize one. While Chauncey M, Depew
was at the Omaha exposition, says the
New York Times. he and President
Galloway of the New York Central
CHANGED to go into booth on the Mid
way Plaisance
1t was tame entertainment, and
there was only meager attendance
when Mr. Depew and Mr.. Galloway
entered Their stay would have been
very brief except for the fact that they
had scarcely taken their seats before
there began steady inpouring of peo-
pie, which continued until the small
auditorium was crowded.
Taking this extraordinary increase Of
spectators as an indication that some
thing of an interesting nature was
about to be disclosed the two New
Workers concluded to sit it out. Half
an hour s waiting failed to reward their
patient expectancy, however, and Mr.
Galloway suggested that they move on.
Just then ex-Secretary of Agriculture
J. Sterling Morton pushed his way
through the crowd and, extending his
hand to Mr.. Depew, exclaimed:
''Well, DR.. Depew, SO you are really
here thought that barker was ly-
ing
"What do you mean?' inquired Mr.
Depew
''Why, the barker for this show is
standing outside and inviting the crowd
to step up lively and pay 10 cents for
the privilege Of seeing the great and
only Chauncey M. Depew. -
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1899-02-24

A thoughtful Virginian of mature
years undertook yesterday to explain to
me why southern people living in the
north revert so often to the old fash
toned cooking ''The beauty of the
southern family dinner lay in the sea-
soning of the food to suit the taste of
all the ra-eml.rs of the household, in
dividuaily and collectively. Old Aunt
Dinah, or Aunt Sarah, or Aunt Chloe,
the cook, knew exactly from years of
practice what each of the children liked,
what the father submitted to and what
the mistress demanded, and she'could
please all
ssTake, for example, rice pudding,
one of the familiar stand bys. In the
mixing of the ingredients Aunt Chloe
would mutter to herself: Mars Willie
e like plenty O. cinnamon. I'll jes put
in mother little piece O cinnamon for
Mars Willie. Miss Tavy she like all
spice. I'll jet put in a little mo- all
spice for Miss Tavy. Mars Habersham
e like plenty O. cloves I must please
Mars Habby wild little mo- cloves.
Miss Julia she fond O nutmeg. Oars
little mo nutmeg for Miss Julia. Mar
ster g all right if dey's plenty O. rice,
an Gle missus eat all de egg an milk.
Dey all fond O. RESINS, an dey all likes
sugar plenty; so dar dey goes an de
puddin' ready for de uben.
''She has been stirring all the time
for dear life, and, having looked oct
for each member of the family. the dish
is bound to be success. New York
proSS