davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1899-06-19
FOR sALe-MlscELLANEOuS

FOR SALE--Job Printing Office, in thriv-
ing West Virginia town OF 1900 inhabitants,
near oil fields In use only 4 months, IN
first class condition. Press, Cutter, Stapier
Gas Engine. about 80 fonts of type, includ-
ing body type and all necessary fixtures.
Press large enough to print column
paper which is badly wanted. Rent power
and light. 81 per month. Enjoying good
patronage. Price, $4,000. two-th thirds cash,
balance / year time Reason for selling
other business. Address PRINTER, Regis
ter office. Julsdq
FOR SALE-Small melting pot will hold
ten gallons or 300 pounds. Apply at WEST
VA PRINTING CO jul6h
FOR SALE--second-hand Franklin Type
Writer in good condition, at low price.
Inquire of or address WEST VA. PRINT
ING co. lbs Market street. ja2Te&ch
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1899-06-19

There was good turnout at the me-
mortal services of the knights of the
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-07-19
A Lucky Horseshoe,

The Australians when they find a
horseshoe throw it over their shoulder.
A lady in Sydney found one and threw
1t gracefully over her shoulder 1t
went through a hatter's window and
hit customer who was trying on a
new hat. This gentleman, under the
impression that one of the shopmen,
in a fit of temporary insanity, had
played the trick, promptly struck him
and sent him through the plate glass
window. A general melee ensued, al
though on consideration nobody knew
What it was all about.-Public Opinion.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-07-19
A Chair of Uncleism Needed.

Unclehood is about the hardest hood
man has to Wear,and, as | have observ-
ed uncles and their habits, they either
spoil or repel the small chaps and chap
posses who happen to be made their
nephews and nieces by al accident of
birth. Uncles are either intensely
genial or Intensely irritable, and as 1ar
as l am concerned it is my belief that
our colleges should include in their car
riculum a chair. of ''uncleism."
Unclehood is relationship that man
has to accept. It is thrust upon him.
He can't help himself. TO be a father
or mother is a matter Of volition. But
even in a free country like our own, if
a man has q brother or sister, he is
liable to find himself an uncle at any
time whether he wishes to be one or
not Then when it happens he's got to
reason out course Of procedure with
out any basis in previous experience
John Kendrick Bangs in Woman's
Home Companion. ......... IT,.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-07-19
BOOK BINDERY.

The publics attention Is called to h5sn
TACT that now have in operation COM
plete and up-to-date book bindery IN the
Volksblatt Building. Am prepared to-
bind books, blanks, magazines, periodi-
calls and the like on short notice. Best
OF workmanship, due to long years of
experience. We guarantee satisfaction
and prices that will compete with any.
Bring your loose books and magazines
TO US, and we will return them to Won.
neatly and strongly bound.
t.-.. MAX eyer.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-07-19
AUGUST FLOWER.

1T is surprising fact, . says Prof.
Houlton, s.that IN my travels in all parts
OF the world, for the last ten years. /
have met more people having used
Y August Flower than ang other
remedy, for dyspepsia, deranged llyg11,
and stomach, and for constipation. find
' ., 'onf, s. ai,d statesmen, or for persons.
hiilng office positions, where headaches
and general bad feelings from irregular
habits exist, that Green's August Flower.
IS : grand remedy. Il does not iniure
the system by frequent use, and "a ex-
ceilent Tor sour stomachs and indipea-
tlon Sample bottles free at Eckstein,s
drug store. Sold by dealers il all civil
lzed countries. - = = =
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-07-19
TIE STAY AT HOME.

ssIhess'a dress an hood to.ttuy fr.5ane,
A.pair O. pants f'r john
4 whole outfit Fl BustersBill,
An winters comm on.
But baby Nan, the stay at home,
Jis' laughs an never knows
That all on earth she has to wear
b ole made over clotheG
There's books to to buy fr them at school
1t makes pore man sick
To hear 'em holler ''joggafy"
An ''mental 'rithmetic.''
But, thank the Lord. the stay at home
Is mighty hard to please ~.
Jis gifts the family almanac
An reads It on her knees r
An writin books an DRAWN books H."
They never seem to think
How much it costs to buy SIGH truck
An pencils, pens an ink.
But little Nan, the stay at home,
She knows her dahdy's pore
jfs gifts charcoal pen an writes
Her lesson on the floor.
There's boots to buy FIR Buster Bin,
An boots to buy fr John,
An shoes f'r Jane an ma an I,
TIL all my moneys gone.
So Nan, the last, the stay at home,
Is left to do without
Jis' wears her homemade moccasins
An crows an crawls about.
Pears like that all rake an scrape
Won't hardly satisfy
The pressin needs O. Bill an John
An Jane an ma an l.
But baby Nan, the stay at home,
Is full O. sweet content
Jis' cuddles up in daddy's arms
An never wants cent.
George Weymouth in Century.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-07-19
q BRIG IDEA.


But Wenry's RaEd Found . Fata1
Flaw In the scheme.
" Pete, 8 exclaimed Meandering Nike,
Tn gittin res less!'
Don't do II. Take t'1ngs easy while
We kin. z
Ever since dropped into dat lee
ture hall last winter to git warm I've
had somet'in on me mind, an can't
git it loose. 1t rankles in me CON
science an overhelms me wit a re'liz-
In sense of de resigtlessness Of fate.
Dis life amt nottin but one hard luck
story any way you take it. But a man
Of brains kin sometimes git de best OF
de situation
dat lecture mus Of sunk into yer
system deep"
Tt did. But I've got scheme dat'll
help out. De mex time we takes Il
freight train we'll take one goin
east"
s'What fur?''
did you ever hear of velocity %
"Sure. Dey's got tree wheels, an de
kinchens tries to run over you wit
'em.''
Oats close to, but not next. Veloc-
ity is what de world moves wit. It's
so many miles second. We're goin it
|all de time, shown from west to east,
an when you thinks ye're restin- it's on
~ another delusion an snare. Ye
can't stop movin.''
well" asked Flooding Pete, discon-
tentedly, "what're you going to do
about it p
"Jes' what I told We. De worlds
movin from west to east. De only
chance to neutralize de swiftness is to
take a train goin from east to west. 1
dunno as we kin hope fur any actual
repose, but it's de only chance I see
fur comm anywheres near it,"
tits bright idea, but it won't do
'eWhy not?" ...> IL
ut only works one way We can't
keep on ridin west furever. An t'ink
Of de double exertion when we have
to turn aroun an come de other wayv'
Washington Star. F.. ~. .,-.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-07-19
OLD SOILS RIDE IN 1849.
FlOwery Weather Predictions of the
Journalists of Long AHo.


Journalists of Long AFRO.
In these days of practical newspa-
per writing, in which bald facts are
expressed in the plainest and tersest
form, the fowery language indulged
in by some of the journalists half a
century ago sounds peculiar. The
following poetic CONFUSION Was copied
by one of the local papers from the
New York Tribune in 1S49 as worthy
Of high place in the newspaper lit
erature of the day:
ION Saturday evening at II minutes
past IL o'clock the sun rode calmly
and mildly over the autumnal equinox
and cast his golden anchor on the win
try coast Of autumn. But as yet the
vast ocean Of air through which he
sails is glowing and transparent with
the memory of the long summer days
that have passed over it, darting their
rich beams to it's very depths. Even
as we write, however, the remem-
brance fades, like the sky's blanching
souvenirs of sunset, and in the dis
lance the cold ghosts of winter glare
and wave their frozen wings, which
creak on icy hinges, while in the ST
lence of midnight a prophetic voice Of
wailing and desolation means fitfully
at the easement
Few people can contemplate this
specimen Of literary architecture with
out experiencing feeling Of awe and
sadness, with a few cold shivers on
the side. 1t is proof positive that the
profession has in some things gained
by what it has lost.-Albany Argus.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-07-19
SHE BUNkOED CHOLLY,
How the Clever Girl Won a Bet From
the Dude.

How the Clever Girl Won a Bet From
the Dude.
'FCholfy," remarked Mr. Fitznoodle
Flushington, with something that
might have been taken for CLEAN of
intelligence tinting his vacuous face
IF you want to meet clevah girls go
down and spend month at one Of
those southern resorts
''Ah they great, old chap?' inquired
Cholly as he 1ecked the ash from his
cigarette.
''Rawthah. met a girl down at one
of 'em that beat any girl 1 evan met
befoah. What that girl didn't know
wasn't worth knowing, old man.;
deuced cbeVah, really
GLOW did she show it, me boy?'
s'Well, theahs pier down there with
it. The float, we knaw, lay about six
feet below the end of the pier, quite a
drop, we knaw. One night I was talk
ing to the girl on the veranda, and
suggested that the pier offered an op-
portunity for good bicycle ride if it
weren't for the danger of dropping off
the end and taking tumble Of six
feet to the float below. The girl lob
ed at me and said that even if one u'l
strike the float it wouldn't mattah
why, TIL ride down heah and out on
the raft she said. You daren't,' | re-
piled. She turned up her nose and
asked me what I'd bet. I bet her
twenty-five dollahs and box of flow
ers. She tok1 me to be out theah in
the morning and I'd see her do it.
was theah bright and eahly. And
blow my eyes. old man. she did do it,'
why, wasn't she hurt. me boyw
Not a bit. The tide had raised the
Goat to level With the pier. and at
the end she just rolled out upon it on
her wheel. Deuced clevah, wasn't it,"
Detroit Free Press.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-07-19
A Translation.

"1n one of the schools of this city,"
says the Worcester Gazette, 'tthe teach
er, intending to relieve the monotony
of the regular exercises, asked the pu-
pills if they would not like to sing. OF
course there was an instant clamor in
the affirmative, and then the teacher
asked what song they would prefer
One little boy, in his eagerness to make
the selection, spluttered out something
which the teacher did not catch. Turn
ing to the boy across the aisle, she ask
ed what Johnnie said. Please came
she unexpected answer, he says he
wants to sing Ellis Country. Ills Of
Him."''
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-07-19
Be Natural.

One of the surest ways to be awk-
ward Gin company is to try to act diff
ferently from ones accustomed man
ner. If ones everyday manner is not
good enough for company, then it
should be changed, but the most de-
lightful company manner is the nat
ural manner when it is natural to be
charming. One Of the charms of an
agreeable manner is to seem to be I'M
affected. Another is to listen appre-
ciatively when others speak Gen
tlewoman.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-07-19
Strange Feats of Eye and Hand.


An expert who prided himself upon
the smallness of his writing sent the
president of the French academy a
grain of wheat on which he had writ
ten 221 words. \ Polish poet wrote
all Of Homer's ''Iliad" on piece Of
paper which could be rolled up small
enough to go into a nutshell.
In the sixteenth century man named
Mark offered to Queen Elizabeth a gold
chain of 80 links. The chain was so
fine it could not tie seen unless it was
put on sheet of white paper To
prove its lightness Mark tied it to fly.
which flew away with it. The most
curious fact in this matter, which re-
quired so extraordinary a facility of
touch for making this ornament, was
that Mark was a blacksmith, accus-
toned to all kinds of heavy tools all
day long.
A Spaniard, Joseph Faha, made a
carriage as large as a grain of wheat.
Under a magnifying glass it was pos
sible to see the interior fitted up with
seats, every detail being carried out to
observation-disclosures City Journal
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-07-19
Malaria,s Victims.

Major Ross said in a recent lecture
at Liverpool that malaria was not SO
dramatic disease as cholera; it did
not kill SO quickly, but it killed far
more people In India it killed about
1000 people year It was also
politically important disease, because
1t checked the progress Of civilization
IN districts the richest in the world,
killing more Of the English army than
were killed by the enemy.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-07-19

The ink plant of New Granada is a
curiosity. The juice of it can be used
as ink without any preparation. At
first the writing is red, but after a few
hoursft changes to black "
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-07-19
Winning WAYS.

Money" said the philosopher, may
o1ten DO more harm than good. Some
tunes the mighty dollar is a mans
worst enemy
Yes, answered Senator Sorghum,
and often feel that a lumber of peo-
pie love me for the enemies L have
made. "-Washington Star.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-07-19
Everybody Saws So

Cascarets Candy Cathartic, the most won.
ner1ul medical discovery of the age. pleas
ant and refreshing to the taste, act gently
ana positively on Kidneys, liver and bowels,
cieahslng me entire system, dispel colds,
and bilionsness. Please buy and try a box
OF Y. Z. g. to-day; 10, 25, SO cents. Sold and
guaranteed to cure by all druggists.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-07-19
One Ahead,

First Gtrl-Do you see that hand
some fellow by the piano? / rejected
him once.
Second Girl-Thafs nothing, dear.
rejected him twice-stray Stories.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-07-19

The clock at the houses of parlia-
ment is the largest in the world. The
dtals are 80 feet in diameter. The pen
dulum is Is feet long. The hour bell
is s feet high and feet in diameter
and weighs nearly 10 tons. The ham
mer alone weighs more than 400
pounds.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-07-19

In Sweden there are floating can
neries. They are small vessels, which
hollow fishing fleets, and men on them
Ian the fish while they are fresh.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-07-19
Resented.

And how did you come to marry
him ?''
didn't come to marry him. an
swered the womanly little woman in
dtgnantiy, he came to marry he.v
Chicago Post.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-07-19

Don't Tobacco Spit and Smoke Your Life AWAY.
TO quit tobacco easily and forever be mag
netlc, full OF life, nerve and vigor, take No-To
BAG, the Wonderworker, that makes weak men
strong. All druggists, SOC or 81. Cure guaran.
teed Booklet and sample free. Address
Sterling Remedy Co., Chicago or New York.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-07-19

Educate Your Bowels With Cascarets.
~ Candy Cathartic, cure constipation forever.
New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1899-07-19
Meat Market.
Geo. S:"chnoberich Prop.

Fresh and Salt Meats, Hams, sausages,
etc. al. ~ $3.50 f'OS'
Season. pa -A
Highest prices paid for hogs cattle
wool and hides.
Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1899-02-23
The Audience Got Angry.

There was scene Of wild excitement
during the last week of May. 1899, at
the Gaiety, London, and all owing TO
the singular behavior Of policeman.
Two popular entertainers were on the
stage, and one of them asked the audi
ence a little conundrum. Why is a po-
iiceman an utter scoundrel?"
A gentleman in blue who was appar
emily on duty in the body Of the thea
ter at once took offense. He jumped on
to the stage and, seizing the offender,
attempted to drag him off.
The audience rose in indignation
Men shook their fists and shouted.
'sWhat has he done?" One frenzied
young lady in the front of the gallery
seized tumbler and would have thrown
it at the policeman if her arm had not
been arrested.
The policeman then dragged his cap
tive off the stage amid the misses and
shouts of the audience. But anger was
speedily changed to laughter when Mr.
Policeman reappeared with his victim
and stood revealed as one of the Cosmo
trio. I never saw an audience so COM
pletely taken in.-London Correspond
ence.
Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1899-02-23

The chronicles of 1856 speak Of $50
vessels in its basins and of German mer-
chants carrying away over 1000 pieces
of cloth to the distant lands of Russia
and Poland. 1t was the exchange of Eu-
rope, possessing in the fourteenth CEN
tury 50 guilds and 100, 600 Inhabitants.
more than three times as many as it
now contains. Among its wares we read
of leather from Spain, wool from Eng
land, silk from Italy and Persia, linen
and cloth from Brabant, hemp and fax
from Holland, wine from Portugal,
Greece and France and hardware from
Germany, which included every variety
of object in ivory, bone, wood, glass.
tin, copper, lead. iron, silver and gold
1t had its factories, its curriers', its dy-
ers, and its taxation considerably ex-
ceeded that of Ghent But at the COM
meneement of the fourteenth century its
troubles began troubles from within
and from without
The Suene was rendered useless by
the invasion of sand as far as Sluis
(Eoluse), treachery, slaughter and po-
Iitical jealousies and rivalries completed
the fall, and in 1914 its inba bitants had
diminished to Z 1896. Then came the re-
ligious wars and prosecutions from / 567
to 1884, the fanatics and the Gueux de-
stroying what remained, leaving little
for the French revolutionists. Good
Words.
Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1899-02-23
pig. nna wftchcrnft.

Two women Of the lower class were
quarreling violently the other evening
in Heavitree. suburb of Exeter One
yelled TO the other You wretch. you
always keep a black and a white pig.
so that you can witch usl You ought
to be scraggedl The one SO addressed.
it seems. has lived IN her cottage some
20 years She has during this period, it
is said always kept a couple Of pigs
one of each color. and her neighbors
consider she does this 50 that she may
enjoy the very questionable powers of
witchcraft No butcher IN the neigh
borhood viii buy her pigs as if he was
known to do so he would certainly lose
the local custom upon which he relies
Notes and c Queries
Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1899-02-23

Potato sean.

Experiments in the prevention of po-
tato scab at the Rhode Island station
have led to the following conclusions:
First The results of 1897 fully con
firm those of previous years as to the
tendency of carbonate of lime and all
combinations of lime which are changed
into that form within the soil to pro-
mote in striking degree the develop
ment of the potato seab
Second -On badly contaminated
soil the use of sulphur for two consecu-
tive years in quantities amounting in
all to 900 pounds per acre reduced the
amount of scab in decided degree.
Third Owing to the cost of sulphur
and the improbability of its being of
more than slight if any indirect ma
nurial value it appears possible that the
employment of sulphate of ammonia,
which is at the same time valuable
source of nitrogen. might prove more
economical than sulphur in reducing
the tendency to scab on soils already
contaminated with the scab fungus.
The results thus far secured indicate
that if it We're employed in connection
with kainit, sulphate or muriate of pot
ash soils would be rapidly improved in
this particular
Fourth. Owing to the fact that soils
naturally favorable to the development
of the potato scab are also favorable to
nitrification the fullest manurial action
of the sulphate of ammonia should be
obtained
Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1899-02-23
CHARLES STEWART PARNELL
How the Great Irish Leader Came to
Enter Politics.

How the Great Irish Leader Came to
Enter Politics.
Charles Stewart Parnell was % years
old before he made his entry into the
political arena How the step was taken
is thus described by Mr. R. Barry
O'Brien in his biography of the great
Irish leader
Zone night during the general cleo
tion of 1874 Parnell dined with his sis
ter, Mrs. Dickinson, in Dublin After
dinner Captain Dickinson said Well,
Charles, why don't you go into parlia-
ment3 Why don't you stand for your
native countyg
ITO the surprise of every one at the
table, Parnell said quickly 4 will
Whom ought to see?
oh said Dickinson, I'VE will see
about that tomorrow The great thing
is you have decided to stand
6 I will see about it at once, said
Parnen I have made up my mind. and
l won't wait Whom ought l to seer
:" 4 think Gray of The Freeman 8
Journal said John. who was also pres
ent
Very well. said Parnell. rising
from the table, I shall go to him at
once Do you come with me. John.
1.-THE two brothers then went away to-
gether 1t was now 1 l o clock. and they
found Gray at The Freeman's s Office.
He was amazed when Parnell entered
and ooid 81 havo on,ua fo COW M
Gray, that mean to stand for Wick
low as Home Ruler
1t was only the year after that. on the
death of John Mitchell, ParneH was re-
turned for Meath At first it is plain
that Parnell had few if any followers.
The ability of the representative from
Meath was questioned. Butt was then
the controlling power It was only in
1880 that Parnell became the leader
Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1899-02-23
FOOLED IN A HORSE TRADE.
This Animal Possessed Several Re-
markabIe Traits.

This Animal Possessed Several Re-
markable Traits.
A prominent English landlord was
one day riding across common adj
jacent to his preserves when he over
took one Of his tenants. who was also
mounted After the usual salutations
they rode ON in silence for some min
utes. when the tenant slightly spurred
his horse. balky animal. whereupen
it dropped to Its knees
What's the matter with your
horse? 2" asked his lordship The en-
barrassed tenant remarked by way of
explanation that his steed always acted
that way. when there was game to be
found
A moment later, to the tenants sat
isfaction and surprise, frightened hare
jumped out of some bushes near by.
This so impressed the landlord that
he at once drove a bargain by which he
secured the teaaut's barebacked beast
in exchange for his own fine mount.
perfectly saddled With much agility
the tenant leaped to his new horse. and
all went well until they came to a
small stream whereat the landlords
new nag Immediately baked A drive
home with the spurs brought it again
to its knees
"Hello, what's up now7 There's no
game here. said his lordship.
True, my lord. was the ready re-
ply. 'sbut I forgot to tell you ee's as
good for fish as ee is for game. San
Francisco Argonaut