The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1899-11-12

and tired nerves, that have been on O
strain all day that is almost at the break
ing point. to be told in the first moment
of his arrival home that the plumber has
sent in his bill and the coal is out, and
the housemaid broke his meersehaum pine
and Johnny had fight and the doctor
thinks the baby is coming down with the
measles. After a good dinner and rest
and a smoke he might be braced up TO
meet such of these unplea as II
is necessary he should be told so in order
to get your work in you must not wait.
but begin az once on the tale of woe. Don't
let him smoke where he likes. and be
sure to always complain of the way he
leaves his paper on the floor and a book
where he happened to read It last The
freedom TO do these things will console him
for your loss should providence deprive
him of your watchful care. Remind him
every now and then that you could have
married Tom Brown or Dick GRAY. who
have since become rich and famous
There's nothing man enjoys so much as
being told his wife made a sacrifice m
marrying him. Any, or all, of these rules
are guaranteed to work. In the ale
gories Love is always painted with wings
which is to show that it can fly away
from us as easily as it came.
As mother: Forget that you were ever
young yourself Object on principle to
everything your children want to do. When
they are little, don't let them slide down
the banisters, for fear they might scratch
the rail. Don't let them make horses. OUT
of the chairs, or ruin the carpets bv
having little feasts between meals. In a
little while they will be saying: Lets
go over to Johnny Browns where his
mother will let us have fun" and Won will
have successfully begun the process OF
alternating them from home Naturally
your belongings are of more value tban
PhilATpD'G
in life is to keep your mahogany un-
scratched and your carpets clean When
the boys and girls grow up, adopt a policy
of chronic discourag cement toward them
Tell them that their little plans are fool
ish, that their hopes are absurd and i'm.
possible. Always throw cold water on
everything. This will keep you from be-
ing troubled with their condolences. which
they will take 20 genial and often IN.
scrupulouS strangers. Resolutely shut your
eyes to the fact that they are getting
grown up, and persist in treating them
like they were little children. Do not
commit the folly of giving them any lib
erty, or being chummy with them. When
the girls begin to have beaux. criticise
and ridicule every young man who comes
to the house. Sit within earshot of them
and, when he is gone, make sarcastic
speeches about the way they discussed
parties, and other girls and boys, and
football, and things like that Say when
you We're girl, the young men of that
time We're all models, with serious aims
and aspirations, and that you never talked
of anything but literature, and art, and re-
ligion In this way you will teach your
daughters to meet young men of whom
you know nothing at other peoples
houses, with a hopeful chance of having
them elope. This win save you the trou-
bic and expense of a wedding. The whole
art of falling as q mother may be sum-
med up in one admonition: Never be
friends with your children. Expect them
10 love you from sense of duty. Not
because you make yourself agreeable 10
them.