Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1899-06-07
HOW A NAN KEPT HOUSE
LEARNED THE TRICK DURING ALIVE
YEAR STUNT IN THE ARMY.

he Concealed That Fact From His Wife.
However-Once They Lost Their Ser
want and the CavalryInan Filled the
Bill and Made n Clean Breast of 1t.
The young man had never told his
wife that he had done flve-year
stunt in theregular army Of the United
States. Without any particular rea-
son for it SOME men feel bit shy
mentioning their service iii the regu-
lars. Perhaps the fact that, up to
about ten years ago, the army was
looked upon as the last resource Of
the ne'er-do-well, may have some
thing to do with it. Anyhow this
young war department clerk didn't
happen to.mention it to the girl when
he came to Washington couple OF
years ago and courted and married
her, relates the Washington Star, that
he had spent almost O fve.year stretch
among the yellow, sted,looking
mountains of Arizona, helping his
tro p to hunt for the elusive Apache
Kid. He told her that he had been
iamming around down in the SOUTH
west, and lie told the truth, for if
hunting that red rascal of an Apache
wasn't iamming around the southwest
then nothing is. She considered it
odd that he knew 30 much about SOL
diering. that he went around the
house on Sunday mornings idly
whistling the trumpet calls, and that
he knew how to spiel Indian talk that
Indians understood. Or course, she
never stopped to wonder over his
habit of going down stairs sideways.
She never thought of him as a sol
dier, and so she could not know that
all men who have been cavalrymen
invariably go down stairs sideways
for the remainder of their lives. 1t is
q habit born of their service fear of
tripping themselves on stairs with
their spurs. .
They keep house in q pretty little
place out in Mount Pleasant. They
have had considerable difficulty in
keeping servant, as a good many
Mount Pleasant folks do. Their last
servant wearied of the ''lonesomeness"
one evening last week, packed up the
things that belonged to her. and
probably few things that did ot be-
long to her, in accordance with the
rule in such cases. and departed, an
nouncing that she was not to return.
The Young wife went dismally after
the servants departure, and her hus-
band, sympathizing with his wifes
red nose, endeavored to assuage her
grief.
"Let 'er CO." said he. 'I'll stay
home from the Office tomorrow, and
you can bundle off bright and early
and get another ore. Don't rush
yourself to death over it, either. [
can run this shack for one day, I
guess.
But if I am away after the noon
hour what will you do for your lunch,
You poor old monkey thing?" she
asked him, solicitously afectionate.
"Never you mind me-" he said.
"I'll get along. You watch me.
So, on the following morning, di-
rectly after breakfast, the young wife,
with many forebodings as to the rack
and ruin she would find, and not o
bit of her work done when she re-
turned, set out for the down town dis
trict to beg, borrow or steal house
servant.
"It'll be a give away, all right, !"
murmured her husband to himself,
but I'll do it all the same.
So he set to work. First, he washed
the dishes. Soldiers of the regular
army of the United States wash dishes
with practised skill and a thorough
ness such as few women, with all due
consideration, exhibit. He made a
nice job OF the dish washing and then
took pair of shears and cut q lot of
scalloped borders out of old newspa-
papers for the china closet. Then he
put the dishware away all neat and
orderly. Then he started in at the
kitchen. He polished the stove first,
so that the kitchen cat raised her back
at her own image in it. Then he got
at the pans, pots, skillets and so on,
and made them look like new. Then
he swept out the kitchen, after which
he got down on his marrowbones and
gave it the most business-like scrub
bing it had ever rhad-a military scrub
bing. Thus the kitchen was all fixed.
Then he went upstairs to their
room and made the bed. A man who
has made up his bunk in quarters in
the United States army for any space
of time doesn't need to get any points
from The women folk as to how that
Job should be done. Then he
sprinkled tea leaYes around and swept
the whole upstairs portion of the
house, after which he busted it thor.
oughly. Then he descended the stairs
and began the policing of the dining
room, sitting room and parlor. He
changed the furniture all about,
changed the location of some of the
pictures advantageously, gave the
piano better position and cleaned
and swahbed the whole outfit until
it looked as if half dozen ordinary
servants had been policing it.
Lunch hour had rolled around by
this time, and SO he went to the kit
chen, neatly fried himself some bacon
aud eggs, and made himself a cup of
coffee on the gas stove, after which
he cleaned up the dishes he had used
and smoked couple of pipes full of
tobacco and reflected He hnd ex-
pected his wife back by that time, but
she didn't come. He began to think
OF how she'd no doubt be worrying
about the the dinner then, and so he
decided to get the dinner himself. He
put on bis coat and went out to the
market to bny the dinner. He picked