The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1899-10-08
TROUBLES OF A BOY.

I. f. Austin, an English humorist
writes about boys and jam as follows
a schoolmaster's wife had boldly pro
claimed the wrongs of her class, hitherto
indignant but mute. How are school
masters wives to correct the self-ndulg-
ence of Unsuitable boys who are supplied
from home with excessive pocket money
and frequent hampers? Out of my own
past rises the sternly florid visage of u
matron who, when / received hamper.
made no secret of her disapproval. How
well / remember it! No such hamper
had ever been seen in the school. There
were eight pets of jam, a gigantic cake.
oranges and gingerbread galore. 1t was
understood that every morning at IL |
should slip out of the class room and
repair to the kitchen, there to receive a
slice of my cake. When the clock struck
the hour the eyes of the whole school
turned ON lne--famished eyes, full of en-
Wy. The agitation was SO profound that
the master in charge of the room had to
strike his desk with ruler to recall the
boys to their work. 1t was of little
avail In thought they followed ME to
the kitchen, saw me devour the slice of
cake and greeted my reappearance with
a concentrated scowl Sometimes q
cr1mb or a currant was visible ON the
front of my jacket 1t was a torturing
sight to my companions, and hoarse-
whisper of Greedy ran along the
benches.
This unpopularity proved on a SEN
sitiye mind. / did net want the whore
cake, and vet / could not bring back
slices for others. The matron with the
forid visage discouraged my tinlid sug-
gestion that the cake should be cut ur
and handed around. She may have been
afraid that its appetizing insutficiency
would stimulate the boys us the taste OF
blood stimulates tiger cubs in captivity.
She may have pictured a rising of the
school, the storm of the pantry and the
appointment of a committee of public
gIuttony. My position became imtolera
bic. In playtime ] was avoided or in
suited. There seemed no end to that des-
olating cake. One morning it struck IL
and i did not move from my seat. The
master glanced at me inquiringly, as if
/ We're disturbing the order of nature
The boys murmured: He's eaten it all
greedy beast Then the door opened
and a little seryant-maid with mis-
chievous face and a shrill voice, cried:
oh, if you please, sir, missis says, isn't
Master Austin ccmin' for his cake
There was yell of derisiye laughter as
I crept out and another when returned
so far the jam NWas untouched, the
matron having ruled that cake every day
for a boy was sufficient corruption with
out any wallowing in jam. | fmpiored
her to give the remnant of the cake to
the stable boy and let me have jam ar
breakfast. Next morning a huge JAM
pot was solemnly set down IN front Of
my plate and a hush fell on the assem-
bly,. / took neighbours plate and filled
it with JAM "A great shout went up:
plates were thrust on me; the pot was
speedily eanptied, and 1 arose at a bound
from the most abject wretchedness OF
popular odium to the slrnGnit of general
worship. The scene was repeated next
day; for eight glorious mornings | was
the ideal of romantic generosity. The
most august boy in the school, who, al
the age of II, was about to take leave
of the academic grove and launch into
the world OF cotton-bales, stamped me
publicly en- the hack and said 1 was Il
young brick | almost wepI at tn
honor philanthropy was thought to be
my mission in life, and picture of me
distributing jam to the natives of Poly
nes:a had a great success. / wonder
whether the next generation of boys at
that school canonizcd me as an exam
ple to all urchins who receive hampers
from home. The fiorid matrcn, / know,
had the worst opinion of my future"