Evening star., 1899-06-26
WHY THEY FAIL TO PASS
Some Answers Given Before the Examining
Board of Census Bureau.
Applicants Who Display Little knort.
edge of History-Extrscts From
Papers on File.

Joe Millers Joke Book is a funeral dirge
IN comparison with the answers to some of
the questions propounded by the census ex-
amining board. Several days ago a premi-
nent representative found fault with the
census officials because q constituent had
failed to pass the examination required.
Director Merriam listened patiently as he
always does, and then, with a merry twin
kle in his eye-he always has a merry twin
kle-sent for the papers He read the ap-
plicant's answers to several OF the ques-
tions. and 1t satisfied the representative
that his constituent knew nothing OF the
history of this country.
But the mathematics. Why are they so
difficult?' queried the politician.
Let's see about them Turning to those
questions, he showed them all and COM
mented upon them. There was the simple
addition. Five columns Of figures, Of a
dozen lines each. The constituent had made
eight mistakes in copying the figures and
six in addition The representative looked
bored
Turning to the percentages there was
absolutely not u correct answer, and I'm the
| simple question in multiplication such ig-
norance was displayed that the representa-
tive cried enough.
How is 1t? How is II, say. that people
fail to pass this examination?"
1t is an oft-repeated question, and has
not been satisfactorily answered yet; for IL
cannot be denied the examination is easy.
1t is thoroughly practical, every one ad-
mits, and no one has yet had the temerity
to criticise IL after understanding II. While
many fail In mathematics, more go down
in English. and ii is surprising the amount
of ignorance displayed in the answers to
the questions in geography. government
and history. This branch OF the examna-
tion cuts but little figure in the marking OF
an applicants ability. Out of a possible 100
ii is only reckoned at 20 per cent in the
totals. The questions are simple and, for
the most part, current and there Is abso-
lutely no excuse for failure. 1t would be
unjust to mention any names in connection
| with the ignorance displayed, so the an
| swers which follow will not be attributed to
any one. although each one is authentic.
When Asked About Lincoln.
Several days ago. when applicants were
| asked to tell something OF Abraham
Lincoln, the following answers were no
ticed:
Lincoln was a great general and dis
tinguished himself in the war of 1872"
Abraham Lincoln was a personal friend
of the colored race and was one OF the
original signers of the Declaration of In
dependence"
abraham Lincoln was born in Illinois,
where he worked from early morn TIL dew
ey eve as q farmers lad until he became
President"
cipator. AT subsequent examination the
examiner asked them to tell something OF
Jefferson Davis. One young woman from
the wild west ventured the statement that
Mr.. Davis was President of the United
States and wrote the Declaration of Inde-
pendence."
Another said "a famous general in thu
war of 1S12
There was a great divergence of opinion
as to the identity of the first Postmaster
General One suggested George Washing
ton, another said Patrick Henry. another
Robert Morris, while young man from
the south thought it was "a gentleman
named Bissell.''
William Cullen Bryant's identity got hor-
ribly mixed with that of the Nebraska sill
verite by young lady who declared that:
William Cullen Bryant was the demo-
cratic candidate for President, a silver ad-
vocate and a resident of Nebraska
The inventor of the telegraph, Prof. S. f.
u. Morse, was made to appear a general in
the United States army, great doctor and
Shades of the great inventory prominent
politician of the south.
One wag. whose knowledge OF geogra ply
was poor, said the best way to reach the
Atlantic ocean by water from Chicago was
in boat.
Another suggested route like this: .
Go by rail to New York, take a boat
and get there"
One whose appearance indicated the pos
session of some knowledge ventured the
following route:
Go down the Ohio river to the Gulf of
Mexico and there you are
When asked where the Mississippi river
had its origin one suggested New Hamp-
shire, another Florida and another Louisi-
ana.
Secretary Long as Postmaster
John d. Long was referred to in one OF
the examinations as ''the assistant secre-
tary Of the Cuban war" the postmaster of
Washington" and IAN admiral in the
United States navy"
Cervera and Gomez were both cited as the
Spanish ambassador to the United States
prior to the Spanish war. The young wo-
man who gave the following answer to the
question. How may the Constitution of
the United States be emended?' was pa
triotic at least
We have the best government on earth.
and the Constitution can't be amended -
Some of the answers to the question con-
corning the District Of Columbia were re-
markable for their utter lack of knowledge
concerning the capital city. Few knew how
the city Is governed even. One said the
President was chairman of a committee
that made the laws; another said there was
governor and Legislature TO do the work
while another said there was a sheriff in
control
Replying to the question: How has the
area of the city changed%' one said: 1T
has grown much larger and is growing
every day"
Asked what the salary of the President of
the United States is. one answered: Any
where from 5000 to 100000 a year"
One young man answered the question
Why We're the mass of slaves held south
OF the Potomac river before the WARP"
Because Africa is a hot country"
Supreme Court Functions.
1.-The functions of the Supreme Court are
to be good morally and to attend every
meeting. except on account of sickness or
the death of relative" wrote one prom
Using applicant When asked who would be
President if William Mckinley were to die.
one wrote:
The man whom the people elected
Asked to name the members Of the cabi-
net one named the following:
Bliss, Hay, Blaine. Day, Griggs Olney."
These are only few OF the ludicrous an
swers received to questions every one
should know. There are hundreds showing
greater ignorance. And Yet the director Of
the census Is blamed, first, for having any
examination. and. second, for not passing
every one cited by politicians for appotnt-
ment The examinations will continue
however, just the same. The director Is de-
termined to surround himself with comne
tent clerks, and give the people an inteIn
pn or1d %