Devils Lake inter-ocean. (Devils Lake, Ramsey Co., Dakota [N.D.]) 1884-1905, 1899-09-01
MR.. EP|Z00T WILKINS
He Makes a Third but Unsuccessful Attempt to
Harmonic Party Differences Among Democratic
Statesmen in Washington.

1 Wuz asGounuld, and, Jumpln onJu a
chair, I said: "Whut duz this meeni
Here IL ~ men, not kountin fools, and
the most NV you air senaturs or represent
ativs in kongress. Yu hev bin maxim
speeches all winter and findin fault with
the president and blamin him and the Re-
publikin party fer whut yu sed wuz the
orful kondishun Nv the kountry. You sed
tibet the only hope Nv constitooshunal lib
erty and fer men hoo wantid tn keep out
Nv Jail, vas tn depose the Republican
party and let the old party Nv the consti-
tooshun cum intu power agin. Now wen
I ask yu whut moo issoos we air tn hoop
Ter up fer in 1900 yu air all ez dunn ez a
Moo Gersey oyster"
"Ihare air no moo issoos, old man, the
we kin win on" sed a congressman frun
Tennessee, confess We kin. handle EN-
better then we hev bin doin lately. We
hev bin buttin our heds agin everything
in site ontil we hev neerly reeched the
posishun Nv publick Observation-Disclosures.
We did all we Good tn bring on a war with
Spain, and wen we got it we didn't want
it. We hev plade fast and loose with all
the kwestuns CROWN out Nv it and cum
nifty neer tn BLOWN ourselves up bi takin
sides with the nakid heethen NV the Fill.
poems agin our W Amerikin solgers.
We hev tride tn cut doun the size Nv the
army, and we hev in meny waze bin play
In intu the hands Nv the enemy. Onless
we kin hev better leedurship in kongress
we he'd better stop talkin about moo issoos
and stick tn the old wuns."
This riled up congressman Bailey Nv
Texas, hoo hez bin tryin tn Iced the party
In kongress and hoo hez laitly led hizselt
out NV it, and he took the fore with flynn
hair and swingin arms and a voice like q
roarin bull. "We hev," sed he, tgot tn
go intu the next campane upon the broad
platform tibet a man hoo jines the army
and ftes fer hiz kountry disqualifze hiz-
self fer politikal honors. 1 made mi fte
agin General Joe Wheeler and luther kon-
gressmen hoo were ~soljers upon tibet
ground, and I shood hev won it if it
hedn't bin fer the lack Nv votes ii the
house. The wa I wuz desertid bi the
members Nv the Dimicratic party, hoo
shood hev follered nj leedurship, wuz in
tensely hoomiliatin tn mi personal pride,
and l hev decided tibet the party ort tn be
disciplined ez a sootable reparashun for
the provokin Insult and the wound.n Nv
mi personal vanity, witch, in mi particular
case, IL no site afare. Therefore, hevin
bin sot doun ontu bi mi party associates, I
hev conclooded to leave the obstinate
cusses tn du their own leedin."
If yu he'd dun tibet in the fust place."
sed a congressman frum Moo York hoo
hez a son in the army, 1--WE shoodn't hev
he'd SO much monkey bizness, and the
Dimicratic party wood hev stood better be-
foar the kountry thar it duz now under
yure fool leedurship."
Seein tibet thar wuz no hope Nv har-
muny and feerin further trubble, I moved
the previous kwestyun and kut off fur
Their debait Nv a topick tibet wuz producin
SIGH distressin results. I am disgustid
with vanely tryin tn mix lie with water
and calm it Dimicratic enthoosiasm.