davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01

A Young couple called az fashionable
boarding house iu the West End "a couple
Of weeks ago 10 engage board. They We're
from Chicago. and the husband had re-
Gently secured an appointment In one
OF the departments The llndlady. AN
am.able and pretty II a tribe faded. little
woman. showed the couple the vacant
rooms. and one Of them was finally ac-
ceptel.
~Now. you'll want references. Of
course said the young WIFE after the
terms had been fixed. Then she men
toned the name OK Washington man OF
some prominence.
You know him or OF him. presume -
she inquired He IS my husband s
uncle"
We'll" replied the landiaiy. II can
not precisely say that ! know tim. NO
body ever really knew him re some.
thing OF a mystery Now. T was married
10 him FOR twelve years. and az the con-
clusion OF that period. when 4 secured
my divorce. 7 don't think 7 could have
conscienuously placed my hand over my
heart and declared that T actually kne"
him some men ere 30 difficult 10 get ac-
oualnted with. you know
The situation was b't embarrassing.
nut the young couple took the room theY
had decided upon. anyhow.-Washingtoh
Post
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01

.Navgurs.' We say. poor. dissolute.
uncovered wrotchcs says We. VIM tne
crool hand iv Spain forged man cles 7
ye'er limbs. as Hogan says VINO was IL
crossed IN say an sthruck off IN come.
aIongs?' We did. by dad, We DID an
now. we mis- rable. childish-minded a13gs'
we propose fr 20 larn We IN uses " no
crtv In ivry city in this unfair iahd We
viii erect school-houses an paekiiIi,
houses an houses iv CORRECTION an w. W -
larn We our language. because 10 49, 49,
In iarn We ours than 10 larn ouISuN 20
vo,irs. am wen give sc clothes II we RAY
fr thin. an If ye don't ye can 80 Wa 20
out am whin yeer hungry we can ho "
~ ,nargiie-we name tn resin RAM -ai
ate a good square meal ~ , ARMY go,es oG be-.
We can't give ye amy 49, % %
cause we haven't more thin ehousn ~ ~
ro,,n1 now but Wen threat ye IN way
O father shud threat his ehiaser nn IL we
have TO break ivry bone IN 49, w. 49,. -"
i'rorn mir Dooley IN Peace and war;
BY IL. u. Dunno.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01
VIRGINIA TOPICS.

Tho Executive Committee of the Nir-
ginia Press Association will meet In Rich
mond next Tuesday TO arrange Tor the
time and place OF the annual meeting
OF the association the coming summer
II will be held at some mountain resort
this year.-Sufiolk Herald.
Coin Harvey has resigned from the
MANAGEMENT OF the Ways and Means
Committee OF the Democratic party. fer-
hans he found the condition OF trade 100
dull. to secure satisfactory contributions.
We are glad Harvey Is out Oh the way
stanton Spectator.
The Governor on Tuesday Issued nine
pardons. four OF which were 10 persons
convicted Of unlawful shooting or mall
cious cutting. All the nine were "condi-
tional pardons;" that is to say the men re-
leased are on their good behavior ara TOT
any lnfractlon OF the laws they VIII pc
re-arrested and again incarceTated Inc
Governor and the Penitentlary Board. IL
ia stated inquired into the circumstances
II this be true the Governor has had time
for little else. There Is an agitation In
some quarters for Board OF Pardons 10
inquire into these applications for elem
ency 1t Is very much TO be feared that
the executive NAV err CT the side OF OK
cessivs clemency. -Danviile Register.
We have seen or heard walls over the
lost peach crop so often that we are as
yreat skeptcs on this subject as most
other people We doubt very much u,
up 10 the present time. the peaches nave
been hurt We have often heard " sain
the peaches may be killed In the WOOD
before the sap has risen. and that the
bloom come out apparently all risht' Out
the peaches be dead.
This we do not believe. II Is not reasoh-
able to suppose that the peach should oe
killed. and yet the bloom go on iorh''"s
lust as n everything was an rsn,.
n va have no peaches here this year
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01
AFTER MiTu.

John Ouern, a waiter I'm Delmonico's,
saved his tips and purchased Brooklyn
Rapid Transit year ago at 81. lie sold
out two days ago at 1876 "a, clearing up
100000
The Ellis & Lessing Iron and steel
Company of Pottstown. Pa, one OF the
largest Industrial concerns In the Schuyl-
kill Valley. announced an increase in
wages Of II per cent. I'm lis nan FACTORY
and an increase OF % per cent. In us
plate mills.
At Cleveland. Ohio. on Thursday last
a fine portrait Of Senator Hanna was
sold for two cents. The picture was the
property of the Railway Mems Sounh
Money League and was a present from
Mr.. Hanna. 1t was sold with the furni-
ture OF the headquarters of the League
to satisfy judgment.
At Sandusky, Ohio, Sebastian Mitcheier'
a round. house hostler. attempted TO
commit suicide by blowing up a loco
motive upon the top Of which he was
seated. Fortunately MS niue PVT "H'
discovered in time 10 save himself and
the locomotive.
Miss Decker the Long Island school
teacher, who fell in love with her pupil
a lad fifteen years old. and whose cnar-
acter was investigated by the Schooi
Board. has been eXOnerated she says
that her affection for Joe has long since
q
has recovered from his intatuauoh'
Jim Corbett and his wife had quarrel
on the street in New York the other
night. and the latter called on police
man to protect her from the slusger.
They finally decided, however. not 10
make a scene and the policeman per-
mittcd them TO depart.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01

we believe II will be due 10 cold 10 como
after to-day.-Staunton News.
The copper-mining operations In Haiiiax
county, Va, aud Person county, y. -
are assuming such proportions that the
building OF fifteen miles OF track from
virginia. on the Atlantic and DanVlile
road. has been commenced. This track
Is TO be laid over the survey for the route
OF the North and South Carolina railroad
which Is. according to reliable iniorma-
lion. 10 connect the Atlantic and DanFille
20 the Plant system.-South Boston
News.
The election CT Prof Charles 4. Graves
head OF the Law Department or Washing
ton and Lee University. as the successor
OF the late Prof walter y. Dabney, gives
general satisfaction among the friends OF
the University OF Virginia Prof. Graves
enjoys a national reputation as a teacher
OF law. and HIS selection from the list or
distinguished lawyers who were mention
ed for the place f.. OF itself. high tri-
butte 10 his professional abiities.-Chdr-
lOttesville Progress
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01

conditions and with such restrictions as
he may deem proper.
In case such conditional pardon be
granted. the Governor IS required to for
ward TO the superintendent OF the pcnl-
Tertiary. and the superintendent on his
part is required 10 certify a copy Of the
same 10 the clerk of the court in which
the offender was convicted. to be pre-
served by the clerk as other records arc
preserved
In other words. the convict IS given a
t'ckct-of-leave. and II he shall violate
any OF the conditions prescribed he shall
upon complaint being made before nus
tice OF the peace. or any other officer
authorized by law TO issue warrants Of
arrest. be forthwith apprehendcd and
brought before the judge Of the court in
which ne was convicted. In such case
the Judge IS required 10 investigate the
charges. and. II found 10 he true the con-
Wet shall be returned to the penitentiary.
there 70 serve out the unexpired term Of
his sentence.
Governor Tyler says that his law is
working Beautifully. and he believes that
It viii greatly relieve the situation. max
ing II. perhaps. unnecessary to have n
Board Of Pardons. Moreover. he says
that IL is having a most wholesome effect
upon the convicts. That without any
hope held out to them, convicts are fire.
quently unruly and have to be severely
punished in order to make them obey,
but under the promise that II they be-
have themselves and conform strictly TO
The rules OF the prison. they may have
the term Of their confinement cut in two.
they are buoycd up by hope and con-
stantly encouraged t. do well. lie be-
lieves that under this system the appli-
cations for pardon will be fewer and
fewer except. in the case Of those who
have qualified under the provisions Of
this act.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01
LENTZ' PLAIN TALK.
The Policy Condemned Which Ignores
Snch Men as Schlcy aud Miles.

Such Men as SChlcY ana Niir7-
At the banquet u the Mohawk Club, in
Detroit. Thursday night tonsI - iit IN
Lentz responded 90 the toast lcu ~
Truth About Germany and Reform lNe
Ieiif,fnoe After We Reform inc breL
Trusts and other Trusts. Among O'I1'
w sIaIl have more than enough 20 do
If we turn our Calling guns on the pHD.l.
enemies AT home. Why 0.u lho lle7iu.t'l
prefer pagan 10 make cOnlidttS WIN Wy
beef Gamers combine w n.y. dlt'4 t4'D
court had found Easan un"oi my on :.
commission. didn't the President at le.st
redIca MIN below the rs officers VINO
ranked Eagan less than year asp
Then he was drawing "a saIaIy ol So" q
YEAR and as a lieut. ldNt-''lvhIl - ~
would have been $500 "a year loI VIC
rest OF his life. WHAT olheI I.asyn 80
cent presidential favor can oe gwen l't
uaviur Eagan $500 "a year tic next -
years, ana S4.l2j FOR the ieu'~'"o'' '' 40
WITHOUT any training a. West Point.
Ceroraf Miles offered MS IKE Ioi l4Ir
Union in 1851. Every step anu ehcif
gree of promotion Was Won on ue'.7 "a
battle and not Oy court idFoI a. w '',.-
ioptou To-day we see Lincoln major
pe1rral iu.ulted for telling the uatn
ahout the beef trusts 4 government mat
loves rs soldiers more than u loves liiS
beef trust should know ihat lNlns ',tllc
could follow the camps easier IMAM nun
grv men could carry rclll-tl dtyI'.
SVltness the abortion and miscarriage
Ia 80. case az Schlev and sampson. II
was W Schlev who discovered Cervera, ana
IL was Schlev who destroyed his heet. u
was Miles who brought Toral TO terms OF
Surrender. and IL as Miles VINO conquer ca
H.. Sn4niards in Porto Rico almost with
ont the loss OF llle -, .
'ragan. Cor0in and Sampson VINO were
never near a nght are promoted ana re,
warded Schley and Miles. WHO Wn'p ca
The Standards 40 every turn ln que 'a.lo
r,ifbonr sacrifcine our own soldiers. are
Accredited and sandered. Is TINS war
or is this politics? Is TINS SPAR. , 5cnsg
~ Justice or IS this America ua.lu',',
Jo,oro' /. et the memories OF Jackson ana
~ ~ Grant and Sherman. nnswer.'
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01
The Tompkins Idea.

Our special letter from Baltimore ana
the article from Tho Richmond lines
commenting upon the remar * OF MI
ID A Tompkns. OF Charlotte at the re-
cent meeting or the Southern publishers
in Richmond. In this issue VIII both De
found most interesting and suggestive Dy
readers OF tho Post. They touched upon
subjects AZ once important. and In way
- encouraging as important.-Raleiga
Post.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01
Working. Waiting, Hoping.

There are no easy ways that lead
TO heights held by the great
But what Of toilsome paths II ono
las found out how 10 walt?
There IS no road 10 anything
Worth having here below
Where climbing Is not lonely work
And difficult and slow.
But he that strives in loneliness
Is paid cen at the start
For an the years OF toll and all
The aches that reach his heart.
For he would never choose the Wv
ITp DER the toilsome slope
Had heaven not been kind enough
To favor him with hope.
S. Il. Kiser in Chicago News.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01

A large majority Of the citizens Of the
State favor the primary plan. since there
is no hope that an amendment 10 the
NationaF Constitution can ever be made
under existing circumstances. Senate
after Senate having ignored every effort
IN this direction. In a republic the peo-
ple do not want masters 10 rule them,
and when those who have been placed
IN office by the people will not carry out
their wishes. other means must be used
10 accomplish their object. In other
states the primary plan has been found
effective and IN Virginia Il would work
equally we'll Let Bedford voters con-
slider this question well, and when me
nroper time comes be ready 20 abolish
tho opportunity now given for corrup-
ton waste OF time and money ana
often a Reputation OF the peoples wishes
for the benefit Of a few wire pullers ana
politicians who selfshly rample upon
public rights 10 accomplish their own
aims and obiects.-Bediord Bulletin.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01

+. Foster, Of South caroIina.-A'an'@
Journal.
The Baton Rouge Daily Advocate. ot
recent date. publishes The quarterly i'
mort OF the State Examiner OF stare
Banks. Mr. T. e.. Freret FOR the quar- .'l
ending with December. 1898. " he snow
inc Is a very satisfactory one. ana ID
study Of the figures given develops many
Interesting facts.
The total number OF state banks enc
braced I'm the statement. which, or course
represents the total in the 0iate -
81. only of which Gro located ih SO"
Orleans These banks have am assI' gaze
capital. surplus and undivided prolir 'A
g. ga g4s. which ls not o. poor Showing
for state devoted largely o. agriculture.
OF the total capital and surplus repre-
scented including. Of course. undiF'dri
pronts New Orleans State banks nave
s. 9Sl 0OO.-New Orleans Plcayune
ATLANTA. ca. March 29-lntense
feeling has been aroused by the action 't
the Board of Education in passing ruis
subiecting pupils OF the public schools I'D
a demerit Tor absence on account or
church attendance. For years DO mas
beer The custom 90 withhold the demert
for absence when the pupil stayed ont ID
on ~ church. and the Catholic and Jew
ish clements are indignant ~ the action
n, the board. which they say IS aimed
AZ them. as their children are the only
ones affected.
The priests have denounced the condnc,
NJ the board as narrow and begofed AID
~ dav Mr.. Hamilton Douglas .one OF tns
members OF the board made public
statement In which he arraigns the ma
,oritv or the board FOR IT'S secret sessions.
Tho secret session. he declares. IS re-
snonsible for this rule. and ho appeals 10
he peopie TO compel the board 10 90
hack 10 the old custom OF holding open
meetings.
Tho Savannah Board Of Trade ceie-
trafed It's fifteenth birthday yesterday.
Tn reviewing the naval stores situation.
president Pursce said: The receipts of
naval stores for the year estimated %
Apru LIST past. show an aggregate ~ -
~ 800 paekages. consisting OF 80 so
casks Of spirits turpcntine. and ilA,lzl
,ackages OF rosin being an increase ot
4, -og casks OF spirits. and rosin aoont
,ha came II the estimate FOR receipts
Tor the next two days prove correct mo
rccelpts OF spirits will be the largest in
any prevlous year.-Savannah News.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01
EDlSON'S FIRST CHEW.
Youthful Employe Reminded Him oil
UisOwn BoyhOod.


His own BoyhOod.
Not long since new boy was employed
In the Edison laboratory. In Orange y.
/. who forced Thomas \. Edison TO give
an account Of himself. 1t happened IN this
uavt Tha boy was first told all about
the man for whom ne WIS TO work. Then
he was told OF the traditions OF the es-
tahushment. lie was told that the maia
butlding contained & piece of every known
subsfance on earth, and that II he coula
mama any substance not "a the building
he would be awarded prize OF Wa. lie
was also told that his special duty would
Ia to guard the room IN which Mr.. Edi-
son worked, II being important that the
inventor be not disturbed ny curiosity
seekers or schemers VINO olteh Try 10
reach him. Then the boy was placed or
elard. full to the brim OF the importancs
~ his position. But one serious omission
had been made by his instructor lie ndo
not told him what Mr.. Edison looked Ike.
"a when. soon after he look up MS post
the boy was approached by poruy.
shabbny dressed man, WHO Attempted 10
push past him. he grabbed thA' man IL
such a way that the man s'opVSo ana
easped IN establishment.
What is the matter with you' ooy'
demanded the man Indignantly
You can't 80 In there. retorted the
boy. with just as inuch spirit
''Why notg' said the man
Because no one can so In there w'th-
ou, written permission. or when AT. Ed
son sends out for him.
"Oh. | see" said the man, ana then ne
turned on his slippered heel and walked
of. while the boy looked after the dirty
yellow duster which the man wore. ana
said several things to himself not at all
COMPLIMENTARY OF "blokes wot would try
to bluff past him" But the boy was sur
prised about five minutes afterwatd 10 see
the man In the yellow duster coming BACK
accompanied by tho Instructor VINO
looked very, very serious. and who said:
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01
SOUTHERN NOTES.
selections Here and There from the
Newspapers of Dixie.


BIRMINGHAM, ALA, March Ut j
o,ncunced that the coal miners In the
omnlov Of the Tennessee Coal. Iron and
E RniIroad Company and the sloss Iron
and steel Company will be given another
advance in wages OF IL ce"'s ~ - s9'
ON Aprr lst. making five cents advance
eince March lst. over SEQ miners wa
80 interested The miners have con-
tract based on pig iron rates ana 'nG
IN market continues 10 be sum am
IN III Win demand lively. The Sloss Iron
a nrd Steel Company has completed a sec, zee,
or'S shipment OF one hundred tons OF
,ie iron 20 Havana, CUBA
The Grand last night wiinesSen w sne
rraGyatinr exercises Of the Georgia Coi-
i e OF Eclectic Medicine and sur sSeg
VIZ -. them two young women were re-
o,nIan,s ~ the sheep skin. one winning
srst honor. These two ladies were NJ,
Rosa D Gates, OF Texas and MISS Mo"ie
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01
4 Satisfactory Outlook

"f done had two sons what had Two
legs shot OF IN dc war said TIE oil
colored citizen. zen two mo- has des listed
ter 10 yander and hght De Philisunes.
an IL desc las TWO ken des De lucNy
nun ter lose a leg apiece. dey u be FOUR
big pensions In de family en- ne "p.o
tor auit work en- go ter preachin'.'-A
lnnta Constitution.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01
Touching Tribute.

An Indiana paper publishes the follow
ing touching tribute 10 one who has pass
ed 10 the great beyond:
g.
Little he thought one week ago
That he would now be dead
But he has left this world OF woe,
And 10 another fed
Cleveland Leader.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01
The Ti,ues.
THE TIMES COMPANY.
TIMES BUILDING.
TENTH AND BANK STREETS
d, RICHMOND. VA.

r-ytrc WEEKLY TIMES--Issued and mall
GA In tuo partS-One COLLAR a yeag oy
mail-anywhere LA the United states
Address ali communications anu 0oiAeS
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Times Telephones-Business On" t,SSSi,or,ai
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Composing Rooms-New 'Fhohe' 49,
Specimen copies free. al
All subscriptions by man payaoie 10 ~
vance. Watch the label on your paper, "a
Won tive out of Hichmond. and see wheh
your subscription expires so you ca"
new before the paper is stopped;
THE TIMES COMfA"i'
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01

II appearances indicate anything, the,
people Of Virginia are almost a UNIT III
favor OF naming United states senator's
I'm party primaries until they can vote
direct for senator's They do NOT IKE
tho game as played in the LEGISLATURE.
IL Senator Martin opposes tnis sehu-
ment he is likely 70 suffer Tor IT, more
esnecialv as the dissatisfaction with
the present arrangement IS chiefly due
70 the smooth work done in the Legis-
lafure when he was elected senator
They wish 10 deal themselves when TINS
game Is played. lie dealt last time
stanton News.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01

As had been expected. the call OF the
virginia Democrats 10 the members OF
their party who favor the election OF
United states senator's by popular vote,
10 assemble I'm Richmond % take steps
looking 10 the change necessary Tor the
institution OF such elections. has pro-
voked In certain quarters. storm OF
adverse criticism. 10 ia the same Old
story. There has never yet been a move
nont set on foot for a change from old
ruts that has not been rallied upon by a
class Of people who could see nothing Dut
-uin and trouble at the end Of any lane
other than the one they had been travelling
in al their lives. Eat. beside the calamity
howlers. there IS another class who claim
that the movement IS nothing more imam
an il-concealed attack upon Senator Mar
tin. as II the Democratic party ~ any
mart of it. would resort 20 such heroic
method merely to defeat one man. While
Senator Martin would undoubtedly lose
his seat by such means OF choosing re-
representatives.. the step IS too grave ana
too far-rcaching in It's effect 90 be taken
only fo serve purpose of the time-De-
ING. No one who reads carefully the call
sent out for the convention In May can
doubt the sincerity Of those VINO sud-
scribed their names 10 IL. IL is compfe.
hensive without being vOluminous. cfltlcai
without being unjust or unfair. NO one
is arraigned: no charge is made Iuftner
than that which the American people
have seen with their own eyes I'D several
of OUR neighbor States-that the present
Man az electing United States senators
is both unsatisfactory and dangerous
Roanoke Times.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01
4 1Iai,Ienly Device.

Evelyn-so you've broken off with Jack
again7
IItta-Oh. yes. I'm tired OF the old ms
and he always gives me q new one "heh
we make up.-Jeweler's weekly.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01

The Chicago platform Democrats
have postponed the birthday OF Thomas
Jefferson. There are indications thas
they have done the same thing 20 his
principles. Iouisvile Courier Journal.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01
His pepanrp

Father O'Flynn-And now. Pat Murphy.
in this season OF Lent. what IS II ven 40
by way OF penancc2
Pat Murphy-shure. then. Til-lll come
an hear your riverance prayche. -Punch.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01
Anxious.

"Old Munniworth's family is very much
alarmed about bis health
Wfcks-Naturally II does seem as
though nothing would ever Kill him.
BOSTON Transcript
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01

1--WE are going TO move
"Too crowded."
Yes; our fat Is so fun there isn't room
for new coat OF varnish on our furni-
ure."-Chicago Record.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01

Patrice-I hope you are not marrying
him solely for his money.
ClemeDce-T hope not-Jut that's the
only thing I'm sure of.-Judge.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01

Gomez has supplied himself with
court jester The old man Is evidently
tired of being the butt OF all the jokes
himself
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01

In disbanding and reyoking commits
sions the Governor IS liable TO lose some
mighty fine dress parade material.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01

The running accounts OF the war with
Aguinaldo make some very interesting
reading.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01
RAND Action.

"Is your prize fighter quick2'
Quick. echoed the manager. NeH'
/ guess He can tire out three steho-
graprers q Washington Star.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01
No IIineIeurc.

"These eggs are not so good 20 the ones
YOU sent last week"
They oguht 20 be. mum. They're OUT
OF the same crate."-Detroit Free Press.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01

An exchange says "a school Is to DO
established in New York to teach women
how to talk" This. OF course. must mean
what 10 talk
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01
FIFTY PER CENT. SAVED.

You don't have to buy quinine 10 so
xvi.h Groves Quinine Liver pills: YOU
get il all combined IN one. Price ~ and
y cents.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01

Coin Harvey has at least collected
whole lot Of experience. and cheap cigars.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1899-04-01

General Otis cables that he has trouble
9, reepins his meat. Here's hoping he
will at least save his bacon.