The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1899-10-04
TWITT In TROUBLE.
mNAGeETT GOT HIMSELF IN VERY
HOT WATER.
II Happened Through Ne Fault 81
His own, but Was Really Only "a
Case of Mistaken Identity ON the
LandIord's Part.

/
Case of Mistaken Identity On the
Landlords Part.
Mr.. Twitt McNaggett's fitting for the
summer brought him to the little village
| of Noseyyille, which his wife declared TO
| be perfect love of place.
As there was no ocean, bay, river or
lake in its vicinity, she felt reasonable
| confidence that her unfortunate husband
could meet with no mishaps
There were dogs there, to be sure, and
| hammocks, but Mr.. McNaggett was now
| caution itself in regard to these danger
Gus articles.
Nothing short of a railroad spike was
large enough TO hold up his hammock,
while he kept his pockets full of stones
| to throw at any canine that came In
sis ht
On the second night after their arrival
Mr.. MeNaggett returned from a two
hours bicycle trip-trip was the word-fn
rather n bad temper.
His suit was torn and dusty. his face
ntlamed and perspiring, and he had tasr-
ed every road in the vicinity.
So he received Mrs. McNaggett's first
remark with some asperity.
''Why, Twitt, dear, have you been BIZ
cycling?'
NO" he retorted, I've been up in
balloon. Where's the arnica?"
When he had settled down upon the
porch, from which they were soon driven
by the mosquitoes, Mrs. MeNaggett said:
''Twitt, dear, they're so inquisitive
here. They want TO know who we are"
ooh, they do, ehY' rctorted Mr.. Nc
Naggett. And what did you tell emp
81 said you were a well known New
York business man, esteemed by every
body"
'Well, now, you're getting little sense
in your old age" remarked her husband
more cheerfully. That's as good a de-
scription of me as any one could ask"
'WeA, 1t didn't suit Them" said his
wife, with a sigh.
who's t-h-e-m?' echoed her husband
eontemptuously.
"Oh, the landlord and his wife and
some of the natives" said Mrs. McNag-
gett. They wanted to know what bust
ness, and where it was, and when we
were married, and how much you were
worth, and If we had any children, and,
IL not, il we ever had, and il we kept
house or boarded, and where we were
born, and what you were worth, and
how old you were, and a lot more"
mot a word, not a word" Kissed Mr..
McNaggett. mot if they all choke 10
death with curiosity"
His red face took on the old ferocious
eggplant hue.
They're lot of meddling viDersr' he
cried. "Of course you told them to go TO
the deuceT'
"Of course l didn't" replied his wife,
Il couldn't tell them anything. You
know, you forbade me to mention your
affairs at all. So don't know what they
think"
"And l don't care" retorted her hus-
band as he plucked an assorted handful
of mosquitoes from his face and rushed
indoors.
But they made him care.
Noseyville is one of those little commu-
nities-alas, too plentiful the GU
riosity of the inhabitants rises to a point
that is almost criminal and man or wo-
man who will not unpack the most pri-
vate matters for village inspection be-
comes an object for immediate suspicion.
Thus the obstinate McNaggetts suffer-
ed through a weary week, the climax be-
ing reached when their landlord visited
them and said as he unfolded New
York evening paper:
you'll excuse me. Mr.. McNaggett, but
our folks are pretty well het up about
you. They think that a man who's so
secret about himself must have somethin
to conceal"
well, you know what you can do,
don't your" howled the Infatuated Nc
Naggett.
Eyes, s'pose do" replied the land
lord calmly. But I want to speak to
You bout this paper fust."
He unfolded 1t and displayed the por-
trait Of aeshy man of middle age with
a bald head and suspieiously black whis-
kers.
'Folks down to the postoffiee think
that looks like you," he said. Its
runaway bank cashier from New York.
OF course don't say
He didn't say any more because Mr..
McNaggett hit him with an ottoman
made Of a cracker box-it proved an ex-
cellent weapon-and then fell to. madly
packing his trunks.
+He's gone for a warrant" said our
hero as he tumbled the clothes in and
jumped on them. 1--WE can catch that
800 for New York IL we look sharp,
where you can live 90 years in the same
house with a man and he wouldn't know
you from a side Of sole leather or want
to-"
They hailed passing rig" got their
trunks aboard ard caught the train NOV
ing out just as the landlord hove in sight
with the village constable and warrant
for assault and hattery.-New York Her
aid.