Omaha daily bee., 1899-07-23
Told Out of Court

lold out vi toul
A boy IA years OF age, who said "he did
not know he had a soul, that he did not
know what morals meant or moral re-
sponsibility," when asked as to the nature
of an oath said eff he told one story he
would go to the legislature, If he told two
he would go to congress-
.
A popular judge recently took a pleasure
drive through the country with a party OF
four (of whom his wife was one). Rolling
along in a white high-built trap, they seem
to have been taken for high rollers, as an
innocent-looking countryman, of whom the
judge blandly inquired for a hotel, replied:
Yes, there is a hotel right down yonder,
but it's a temperance hotel"
y
How a greater trouble overshadows a
lesser was aptly illustrated in one Of the
minor courts, relates the Detroit Free Press.
The accused was a big, strong, honest-faced
German, greatly excited and disposed to do
more talking than is permissible under
such circumstances. The court distinctly
said that the big man was charged with
disturbing the peace and asked him
whether he was guilty or not guilty.
dot vos noting, shudge,'' came the re-
sponse. Der prew'ry he hired me ter
drive dot wagon. Tony Velters, he say,
Shake, 1t vos besser and you yoin der
union und den he say Why l dond't wait a
leetle and see how vos it. So l wait.
"Purdy gwick der boss he say, Shake,
you can get your moneys und give up your
DEAN. We Yes a union brewery. l say I
would see Tony and ask him vot der rea-
son nit him dot he advise me out of a yob.
When l find Tony he say did l haf' some
sense. und I told him he vos schmarder ind
l vos und he didn't know notings."
But they say that you argued with a club
and that Tony's strongest proposition was
a brick"
dot vos nod der boint, schudge. Vot I
want der find Quit is, how do / slant on der
union labor question:
There are pleasantries about courts and
lawyers, and Attorney w. e. Hale is not
exempt from the rule, reports the Mime
apolis Times. In conversation with a group
of well known barristers recently he told
them how he came TO loee his first case.
1T was an assault and battery case" he
said, "and l was counsel for the complain
ing witness. Unfortunately for him, Irish
wit defeated me. The defendant, an Irish
man and the aggressor in the fight, was
charged among other things with having
chewed my clients thumb. That he had
masticated the member was admitted. AT
the same time the attempt was made to show
that he had done 50 only in self-defense.
On the stand he testified that while steadily
closing his grinders on the thumb he had
yefed to his wife, forty rods away, to come
to his assistance. And she had responded.
Il had a very high opinion of my ability
to corner a witness ard make him con-
tradict himself, even at that early date.
This was where | thought | had him going
do you mean to say l asked, that at
the same time that you had your teeth
tightly compressed on his thumb so as to
make articulation, If at all possible, very
lndistinct, you nevertheless managed to
make enough noise to attract your wife,
forty rods away?
Sure, an yer pint is we'll taken he
replied. 'Oi don't know list how OF man
aged to do it mesilf. But OF think OF kin
illustrate it If yez be willin' to put yer
thumb in me mout.'
Needless to say, l did not care to have
dt acted out. He made a great, big hit
with the jury, and why, l lost the ease"